#maybe i posted it on snapchat but i dont remember

[httpsleclerc]

a villa in biot

summary: Charles and Gasly!reader are in love with the one thing they can't have - each other.

w/c : 1.6k

c/w : terrible ending? nothing, I dont think there actually is any

Charles wasn't quite sure when he had fallen in love with you - But he knew he shouldn't have. You were like a forbidden fruit for him, dangling in front of him, something he could touch, hold, smell, but never have for himself. It was cruel. It was so cruel that you just so happened to be his best friends younger sister, and his younger brothers best friend. 

You had all grown up together, Charles and Pierre having done karting together for many years, you had been on family vacations together, he had watched you grow from a shy young girl, attached to her brother at the hip, to a confident young woman, who admittedly, was still attached to her brother at the hip. He found it unfair that you had to be Arthur's best friend and not his, maybe that would make his love for you more justifiable - but how could he tell his younger brother that he was truly, madly deeply in love with you? 

To cut a long story short, he couldn't.

He didn't want to hurt you or Arthur, he didn't even know if your feelings were the same as his, and he couldn't face the embarrassment of it all if you didn't. So he had to try and move on. However, as hard as he tried, he couldn't. Everywhere he went, he was looking for you. He dated girls that looked like you, down to a t, but they didn't have your infectious laughter, so he looked for girls who shared your laughter, but they didn't look like you. It was impossible to find you in all of the girls he dated, so he eventually gave up, accepting that he could never have the one girl that he truly wanted, as much as it broke his heart to accept.

As it came time for your annual family vacation with the 3 Leclerc boys, you found yourself newly single, breaking things off with your boyfriend of 3 months due to the fact that he was nothing like how you thought he was - you thought he could fill the Charles shaped hole in your heart. You hated yourself for wanting him, he was your best friends older brother, and your older brothers best friend. As much as you wanted him, you remembered the promise you made to Pierre, that you would never go near any of the people he raced against, especially Charles. 

You sighed as you sat on your suitcase, forcing it shut and having Arthur zip it shut for you, he shook his head as he grabbed your hand and helped you up onto your feet.

"How much did you pack, we're only going for 4 nights?" Arthur asked you with a chuckle, looking at your suitcase and then you as you shrugged with a grin.

"Just because you're a guy and can fit all of your things into your backpack, some of us are actually civilised," You jokingly critiqued your best friend, who feigned offence at your 'mean' comments. "And anyway, I wasn't sure on outfits so I had to take two options for at night, I'm probably gonna be in a bikini for most of the day anyway." You told him, acting as though your explanation was the most common knowledge thing on earth. 

"I'm going to go out on a crazy whim and suggest that you haven't shown Pierre your choice of bikini's, because he was not happy when me and you went to Ibiza when we turned 18 and you were like, half naked," Arthur reminded you, your joint 18th birthday trip to Ibiza had been eventful, with Arthur getting so drunk he forget where your hotel was and you, even drunker, had to try and find him through his Snapchat location.

"You weren't complaining that week, Tutur," He shook his head at your comment and put your suitcase on it's wheels, saying that he would carry it down the stairs for you. You also knew that Charles wasn't complaining about your instagram pictures that week, since he was the first person to like every photoset that you posted.

Charles watched as you leaned against your brother, your face illuminated by the orangey-red glow of the fire burning in front of you, a half glass of the last of the limoncello in your hand, which Pierre took from you, despite your protests.

"It's late and you're already drunk, take it easy," He gently scolded you, since he understood that maybe you were drowning your sorrows following your recent break up. Pierre huffed as he stood up, placing the glass on the table beside him. Soon after, Pierre called it a night for himself, placing a kiss on the top of your head and jokingly telling you that he'd know if you drank the rest of the glass of limoncello - Lorenzo and Arthur followed soon after him, leaving only you and Charles in the living room of the Villa you had rented in Biot. Charles shifted to sit beside you, his heart racing as he realised just how close the two of you now were.

"How's your boyfriend?" Charles asked you, watching as you nervously fiddled with your hands and the ring on your finger, one that Pierre had bought you for your 21st birthday a couple of years ago.

"I broke up with him," You deadpanned to Charles, any semblance of a filter you had disappeared completely when you were drunk. You looked up at him, a flicker of desire burning in your eyes. "He wasn't who I thought he was. How's your girlfriend?" You asked him, noticing the way his eyes flicked away from yours.

"We broke up, same reason as you," He told you. The two of you sat in silence for a minute, you leaning into Charles' embrace as he put his arm around you. "Who did you think your boyfriend was?" Charles asked you, his voice dropping lower than you had ever heard it. You licked your lips, your breath shaky as you looked up at the Monegasque driver.

"I thought he was you, Charles," You admitted quietly, having no time to react before he leant into you, pressing his lips onto yours in a passionate kiss. You leaned into his kiss, your hands snaking up to the back of his head, hands entangling through his brown hair. Then you suddenly sobered up. Oh God. You were kissing your best friends older brother. Your brothers best friend. Oh God. 

Oh fuck. You abruptly pulled away, unable to look at the middle Leclerc sitting in front of you. "I um," You stuttered over your words, the words which you wanted to say but couldn't force out. "I should go to bed, goodnight Charles." You didn't mean to be so abrupt and harsh with him as you stood up, wobbling a little as you made your way into yours and Pierre's shared bedroom, your aforementioned older brother already asleep and hanging out of the single bed in the opposite corner of the bedroom.

You and Charles managed to get through the rest of the vacation without many hiccups, the other 3 boys on the trip putting your strange moods down to your respective recent breakups. Upon yours and Arthurs return to your shared apartment in Italy, you realised that you were lying through your teeth to your best friend, about how you had all but confessed to Charles how much you loved him, and your heat of the moment kiss with him. 

And you almost forgot about what had happened in the villa in Biot.

Then he was at your apartment, his eyes rimmed red as if he had been crying, looking pitiful as he sat on the couch.

"Charles, what are you doing here?" You asked, dropping your bag beside the sofa and sitting beside him, unsure of what to do to try and comfort the older Monegasque. He sniffled as he shook his head, looking up at you as he stood up. "Charles?"

"What?"

"What is going on? Why are you here?" You stood up and faced him, looking up into his eyes as he looked down at you. "Tell me what is going on. Please." There was a tense silence as Charles looked away from you, shaking his head as he pulled back from you.

"I need to know, Y/N," He was almost pleading with you, but you didn't know what to tell him, you didn't know what he wanted from you, what he wanted to know. You shook your head with an exasperated sigh.

"You need to know what, Charles? I don't know what you want from me," You were growing increasingly frustrated. He grabbed your hands, and you locked eyes.

"I need to know. Do you love me?"

You went silent, it was like all the air had been sucked from your lungs, and your brain was no longer processing anything. What did you tell him? Would you be honest and admit your undying love for him? Or would you think of your friendship with Arthur, and your promise to Pierre?

...

...

...

"I love you, Charles."

[kumezyzo]

headcanons driving with bf!sapnap? i have brain rot rn over your tiktok you shared 🥹 maybe like a long road trip

this has been in my inbox for a bit. but its fine cause its 🐬 anon and we just ✨️understand eachother✨️. um...yea, my mind immediately went to when he 'stole' jimmy's car lol. so i refrained from writing that for now, dw. i would write that but as streamer reader. but this can be read as streamer or normal (?) reader.

umm, yea, enjoy! or dont... :) m.list

bf!sapnap who asks you to meet his family in texas. and as a result, you suggest a road trip.

"baby, thats like a fourteen hour trip," he says in concern.

"so we drive seven hours each," you state obviously.

he looks at you cautiously before shrugging, "okay, then..."

bf!sapnap who puts his arm around your seat when he starts backing out of the driveway. then he remembered he had a backup camera and put his arm down. causing your heart to flutter for a moment before deep disappointment set in.

bf!sapnap who doesnt realize how much you've been staring at him since the drive started. twenty minutes in, he looks over at you as if to ask whats wrong.

he gives you a questioning nod, his eyebrows furrowed as he looks between you and the road.

"nothing," you say, looking down at your phone and pursing your lips to hide your smile.

"hmm..." he trails off playfully. "whatever you day, baby."

bf!sapnap who quietly sings to songs, tapping the steering wheel to the beat.

bf!sapnap who reaches over to give your thigh a squeeze and immediately bringing his hands back to the steering wheel.

"yes, sir?" you ask, shocked by the sudden act of affection.

"nothin', just felt like it," he says, keeping his eyes on the road.

bf!sapnap who reaches over to hold your hand over the middle console.

"are you getting bored?" you ask him, rubbing your thumb over the back of his hand.

"no... i just want to hold your hand," he says, squeezing your hand.

bf!sapnap who refuses to let you drive for a while until you stop at a gas station and beat him to the drivers seat.

"no!" he half shouted when he saw you sprint to the car as he pumped gas into the car. he stood infront of door, not expecting you to run to the passangers seat. he wasnt able to react fast enough as you dove into the front seat.

you cackled out loud when he opened the door and accepted defeat at the sight of your spread across the passangers seat, the console, and the drivers seat.

"haha! fuck you!" you laugh out as he rolls his eyes and closes the door in absolute defeat.

bf!sapnap who falls asleep in the passanger seat, light snores sounding in harmony with the music playing quietly through the car.

you look over when you hear a quiet snore in between songs playing. you couldnt help the smile spread on your face at the way he curled up against the door. his face resting in his hand against the window.

bf!sapnap who wakes up and with his eyes barely open, chugs half a large water bottle. like when you wake up from those good naps.

"how far are we?"

"not too far."

"which means...?" he trails off sleepily.

"since you drove for nine hours instead of seven, and ive driven for four..." you say waiting for him to do the math.

"mamas... i cant do math right now," he says, trying to rub the sleep off his face.

"we have like an hour to go, love," you say with a giggle, reaching over and giving his thigh a similar squeeze to the he gave you earlier.

bf!sapnap who leans over and gives you a kiss when you reach the first stop light in a couple of hours.

bf!sapnap who post a video to his story on snapchat with the caption 'passenger princess core ✨️✨️🤪'

he pans the camera towards you focusing on the road, your arm resting on the window, your head resting in your hand and the other on the steering wheel. to his luck, you place both arms on the wheel as you turn on your indicator.

then he comically reaches over to grab your right hand and slaps it onto his thigh. you look at him in shock before realizing he was filming. the video cuts right as you start laughing at his antics.

bf!sapnap who give you different directions to his mothers house once you guys get to an area he remembers.

bf!sapnap who cant help but smile when you show him the pictures you took of him when he was sleeping and while he was driving.

"you took pictures of me driving?" he asks as you guys lay in the bed in the room he spent a majority of his life.

i had a lot of fun writing this. it was cute and shit. sorry if reader seemed to much like a character even tho they technically are (?)... i just couldnt help it. -nony

"yea, you looked hot," you tell him nonchalantly with a shrug.

[venomsbitch]

I love telling people that i dont have social media. Sure i have snapchat but thats barely social media to me- i just use it for communication.

And i dont count Tumblr, bc i sure as FUCK am not going to give someone any of my blog names unless, like, we met on this damn app or something else, so that's different. And Tumblr isnt a social media, its . Its social blogging or whatever.

So yeah. Im unreachable. If something's trending, i might see it, but probably not. If its a BIG deal, i do know about it. But largely i dont know shit and I am truly "protecting my peace" about it. Which is just nice.

Sometimes i miss tiktok because i hate youtube shorts but they suck me in and tiktok has ~the algorithm~, but ~the algorithm~ scares me just as much as not having it, so I'm ok to pass.

Sometimes i miss twitter. And then i do not.

Sometimes i miss instagram- the way it used to be, let me be clear. I dont like the whole reels thing, i dont like that everything is a video post and you cant actually see stuff you've missed from friends after like 3 posts. I removed a lot of people from my "follow" list, people i didnt really interact with or know anymore, anyway, so my timeline wasnt very active, but still. And then i remember how much i hate the current absolutely SHITTY user interface and am happy i dont have it. And i remember how anxious i was to see what people thought of my posts, and can rest in true peace from that without it. If people want to know what i'm up to, they can call or text me.

I was never on facebook and it still (has always) scared me. Scared.

I never really had anything else, except maybe Google+, which was like facebook and twitter.

So i'm unreachable, pretty much. Sometimes that makes me sad. Sometimes i feel lonely. But largely, i have peace about not being on things.

Maybe after Reputation (Taylor's Version) comes out and i know the vault tracks, i'll redownload Tiktok. I hated that they kind of were spoiled as in spoiled food (became annoying and not fun) for me on 1989. Suburban Legends best 1989 vault track btw.

But for the most part im unreachable on social media, and happy to answer a phone call or text. And im okay with that.

[ablogforanothertime]

For most of my life, I've been a nobody on the Internet. And Ive liked it that way. I don't seek fame or recognition. I just want to exist in my little bubble of close friends where I can say mostly whatever I fancy and it's mostly fine.

And while I'm still a nobody on the internet, I am slightly less of a nobody now and that was made abundantly clear when I took my last Instagram break without any warning. People were texting me, finding me on Snapchat and on Facebook, and when I came back, I got many messages of "I missed you", "I thought you were gone forever" and even "I thought the cool girl blocked me and I was very sad about it".

To be sure, it makes me feel good to know that I've made so many connections in a community and can say for the first time in my life I am a part of a community. But with so many people who "watch me so closely because I'm like their personal TV show", comes opinions. Lots and lots of opinions. If I want an opinion, I will ask for it, but no matter even if I don't, I get messages all day with people's opinions. It's mostly fine, but I, unfortunately, have a sensitive personality type and despite knowing this, despite trying to actively change it, sometimes my nervous system immediately rears up and takes shit really personal.

This brings me to why I left Instagram so abruptly this last time and why I am still irritated with my role in that community.

I am fucking tired of renovations. I have tremendous mom guilt because this is all my kids will remember and I just don't want to fucking do it anymore most days. Yeah I go Instagram and sometimes I complain, and people tell me they love that I'm "real" but they don't. Because when I really start complaining and on the rare occasion actually state how I feel - like how I fantasize about selling my house as is and buying a new build - people get offended.

My followers have formed some kind of personal pseudo social relationship with my house and they cannot stand when I talk about selling it and they get even more irritated when I talk about new houses. They want me to be real and like that I "am" but yet when I really do say how I am feeling, suddenly they don't like it.

And that's what happened this last time. A long time follower WHO IS AN ARCHITECT FOR NEW HOUSES, messaged me about how my house will be built better than any new house (it won't) and I would be foolish to move (I wouldn't be). I was already in a mood over my house that day, which I thought I made pretty clear in my stories, but apparently I guess not and I hair flipped my account to deactivated.

I took it pretty personal that someone who's never actually been in my house, and who only knows what I put online, is telling me how I should feel about my house and my frustrations with the situation. Someone who is a DINK, by the way.

But I have returned to Instagram because so many people reached out to me and I am back to posting, but less than before. But I still have a sour taste in my mouth over it. I don't like feeling like so many people are watching me this close. I don't like knowing I can't just disappear offline without people trying to find out what happened or why (and maybe not considering that I dont want to be contacted?). And I don't like that I can no longer say whatever I'm feeling because I was getting on average 50-80 people messaging me per day and I just don't have time for that.

Yes, there are friends there I have made that I do like and I do enjoy talking to. I have also learned so much. But at the moment, it feels toxic and I'm not enjoying it like I used to.

[blacklion]

a concept: Keith loves bnha n he loves todoroki sm that he actually dyed his hair half white half red

haha……… thats so………. extra………………….. ive totally never………….. did almost the exact same thing………………………. haha……………………………

[2loady]

.

[buoyantsaturn]

i just got home from a hockey game and now i wanna continue my hockey au but the only thing for it on my to-do list is from back in my long-distance au kick and idk if i can handle that tbh

[trvncyz]

Jujutsu Kaisen characters during Ramzan || random headcannons || part 1

PART 2 OUT NOW

note: before i start, i would like to clear out that these are just some things which happen in my house and may differ from your culture. this is just how i would imagine the jjk characters to behave during ramzan. hope you enjoy!

-4/27/21

part 1- nobara, itadori, megumi, gojo

part 2

1. Nobara Kugisaki

very excited to fast because it reduces weight!

the kind of person who sleeps through the fast and only wakes up for namaz.

eats most of the fruits during iftar

doesn't want to miss any fasts because she had a bet going with itadori to see who could keep the most number of fasts. (being a girl, nobara knew she would lose but she's not the type to back down from a fast either.)

she regularly gets scolded for not helping at all with the making of the iftar.

"HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO WORK WHEN I'M SLEEPING?!"

"IT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE CONSIDERED A FAST IF YOU COMPLETELY SLEEP THROUGH IT" (dadi™)

she's very excited for eid to come because... who isn't? new clothes, eidi (money) and good food? i think yes.

the type to stay awake till sehri so that she doesn't accidentally miss it.

i think she keeps most of her fasts, leave for her periods or a few days where she threw up because of the long day or something.

2. Itadori Yuji ft. Sukuna

alright hear me out, he's the type of person who blocks Jennifer Lawrence, Kylie Jenner etc on ramzan chaand raat and unblocks them on eid chaand raat. (did that make sense?)

has a bet going with nobara to see who can keep more fasts. doesn't matter if he's absolutely dying, he wont miss a fast. (that's good tho?)

accidentally saw one of his bikini posters and chanted "Astaghfirullah" for the rest of the day.

he was teasing nobara for not fasting and got a pillow straight to his face

he starts taraweeh in hopes of praying next to his crush's father but dips midway

like nobara, he's very excited for eid. the type to put his eidi pictures on snapchat

almost swore at sukuna in his head but he held himself back

sukuna keeps talking about food in his head. like dazai in that bsd wan scene where he kept whispering 'curry, curry' in ango's ear.

the type who complains about not enough iftar being made though he barely eats any.

"iftar bohot kam bana hai."

"tum itna toh kha k dikhao"

"there's barely enough iftar" "try to finish this much first"

(the english translation isnt funny at all pls-)

3. Megumi Fushiguro

perfect boy

keeps all his fasts

wakes up on time for sehri. sometimes also goes out to get the yoghurt.

opts for a whole 27 day taraweeh

prefers wearing full sleeve shirts/tshirts and fully covered trousers if he's not wearing a kurta pajama or something like that.

BLACK KURTA WITH ROLLED UP SLEEVES (SCRREEEEAAAAAAMMMMSSSSS)

sometimes helps out his mom with iftar

cooks for his sister when she's not fasting

it was very hard for him but he completely stopped hitting itadori during the month. he was back to normal from eid.

speaking of eid, he isnt overly excited about it but he's looking forward to the sheer qorma.

megumi (to me) is someone who always needs something playing in his ears. its his way of concentrating and stimulating his brain and it really eases his stress (am i talking about myself? absolutely.) during ramzan, he decided to switch to random podcasts or recitations and stuff.

if he's tired or feeling a bit sick, he sometimes sleeps during his fast.

MAJOR HEADACHES™

i dont know what i can write about this boy, he's absolutely perfect in my eyes and i dont know what he could do wrong except hit itadori.

4. Gojo Satoru

the ultimate cause of megumi's headaches

totally sleeps through sehri

he might be fasting but his energy level never goes down like HOW?! others are almost dead but he just keeps jumping around like he's hinata shoyo or something

halal pick up lines which make you swear

"I want your feet to be my kid's jannah."

"I want my feet to straight up meet your nose."

fr if you spoke to him during your fast, keep muttering "la haula wala quwaita illa billah hil ali al azeem"

always looking for excuses to skip his fasts but nanami keeps him in check

has to be constantly nagged to pray. never does it in time. often his namaz gets qaza-ed. (what's that even supposed to mean?)

he once tried to make iftar for the children. everyone ate iftar about 2 hours after sunset. (pain)

he too, is the type to pray taraweeh next to his crush's father.

speaking of taraweeh, he's just lying there after his iftar feeling like he's missing something when he suddenly remembered that he didn't turn up to taraweeh that day.

complains a lot about how he's thirsty while he's fasting and get's a scolding from nanami everytime.

shoko tried to tell him the positive effects of fasting but he just ended up telling her that "girls use their periods as an excuse to skip fasting." shoko didn't let him eat iftar that day.

weird food combinations even during iftar. cucumber with ketchup? rooh afza on watermelon? you bet he does that daily.

(both of these are very tasty, you can try it out if you want to.)

starts counting down to eid the day ramzan starts.

his RICH GUY EID FLEX PLS. he got his new nike shoes stolen from the mosque and it served him right.

gives everyone lots of eidi on eid because he's RICH™

-----

got a little carried away but i loved writing this! gonna do a part 2 in the future with other characters. maybe even a part 3 but thanks for reading. if you have any questions about this post, feel free to ask me!

ramzan mubarak to everyone and happy fasting!

[golbrocklovely]

Stas shared more stuff the last two days and stuff with Colby that seems like her intentions in posting arent her just being a platonic friend. Honestly she is giving vibes of a thirsty social climber and i am starting not to like her.

Another thing i wonder that i dont know if you can answer because i dont have xplr club, people are saying they shortened their Euro trip because of the girls so they could go to this festival and i dont know if the boys addressed that. I was on Kats live where she mentioned the boys going to Europe for a long time and how she wasnt going and her chat convinced her to put her foot down and tag along. She invited Sam on the stream and didnt ask but told him she was joining and he just agreed rather passively. Later she went through places she said she was going to visit for example “Im going go to London, then Paris, then New York, then Canada etc”, not a coincidence it was all the places she joined them on except Paris. What i dont understand is how a 1-2month trip turned into 3vids and music festivals. I mean its on them what they choose to or who to spend money on but it seems weird like they pushed work aside to please Kat and she invited Stas to not be alone. This festival is 3 weeks.

i mean, idk if she posted anything on her subscription insta or snapchat, but what she's posted publicly hasn't been all that…. thirsty towards colby. yeah she posted one or two things of just him and her, but it just looked like friends hanging out.

and snc probably said how long they were gonna be in europe on xplrclub but idk what length of time they said. but they've been hinting at going to tomorrowland for a while now, well before they even fully announced where they were gonna go in europe. i remember sam saying something in one of kat's videos about another festival in europe during coachella or edc, so clearly it was always the plan for them to go. or they were at least thinking about it all this time.

i highly doubt they would shorten their trip for the sake of the girls. they probably don't want to be out of the country for super long anyway, maybe a month tops. they already finished the uk trilogy so they'll eventually need to go back home and edit it in time to post it somewhere in aug-sept which is when they said they want to have it posted. so maybe initially they wanted to stay longer, but probably realized they couldn't, but not bc of the girls.

[tommybaholland]

Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!

somebody, some body

featuring: sugawara 

goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!

you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?

when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy. 

one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool. 

so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game. 

he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.

that was something you could never take for granted with him. 

the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously. 

are you alive?? 

yeah i’m awake, unfortunately

what do u want sugar-wara 

whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok

let’s go get sweet buns before class

ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara

okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15 

there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle. 

“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”

he was always so peppy in the mornings. 

“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”

“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.” 

he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right. 

“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”

“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”

 there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously. 

“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.” 

“wow, that’s great!” 

“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.” 

“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”

“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”

“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.” 

“you never let me down!” 

 his smile never let you down. 

it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.

“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.

“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”

“i...what?”

“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”

“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”

“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”

“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”

if only they knew that they were so lucky. 

you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing. 

to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them. 

and guess what?

you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them. 

at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all. 

-

the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood. 

it’s ur turn now. are u alive??

i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol 

also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<

you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started. 

hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it

you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing. 

haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?

also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??

it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes. 

yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol 

wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??

i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus 

well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though 

thank you i hope its going well 

that conversation was truly the end of the beginning. 

Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more. 

it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would. 

the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement. 

you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part. 

oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :) 

you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid? 

you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to. 

no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now 

was it okay though? 

that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.

isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true? 

-

two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news. 

going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on 

WAIT you guys made it official?? when?

haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now 

oh well that’s great! 

(what the actual hell.)

months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore. 

you had your priorities and suga had his. 

which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared. 

sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?

we lost :’(( we were so close too 

oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!

he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him. 

summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect. 

Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?

you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.

to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him 

Okay awesome thanks!

what were you thinking of getting him?

Deathnote lol nothing original

hmm maybe the new aot volume? 

Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA

yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him? 

Yeah could you? 

yeah sure!

Yay thanks! 

okay i’ll let you know what i find out

going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out. 

but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating. 

that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious. 

in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month. 

but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him. 

your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life. 

but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.

snapchat from sugar wara  

you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”

and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!” 

it felt strange, but you finally admitted it, 

you were in love with koshi sugawara. 

timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to. 

you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way? 

stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon. 

you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him? 

you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.

sugar wara is typing…

snapchat from sugar wara

yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(

me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P

is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals? 

we've been trying to get all the support that we can

plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :) 

yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!

 wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?

they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago

i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay

your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet. 

oh no i'm sorry kou :(

you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.

wdym you initiated it tho?

so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata 

rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once

it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals

yeah i'm sure it's been difficult 

but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)

thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much

although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings? 

it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.

-

it was the friday before the finals game. 

you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months. 

you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-

“y/n! hey, wait!”

you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team. 

“hey! funny seeing you here.”

“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”

“yeah.”

“can i walk with you?”

“of course.”

great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”

“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”

“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”

“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”

“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.” 

you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.

“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”

“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.

“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“yeah. yeah!”

“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”

he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.

“hey, y/n?”

“yeah, kou?”

he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.

“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”

“yeah, i missed you, too.”

“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”

“you, you what?”

“i really like you, sugar.”

in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.

“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”

“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”

“but why are you telling me this now?”

“do you-- do you not feel the same?”

“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.

“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”

you looked at him in disbelief.

“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”

“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”

“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious. 

“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi. 

your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there. 

-

you didn’t get much sleep that night. 

it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most. 

you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it. 

the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it. 

he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top. 

suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success. 

the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up. 

the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.

it was you. 

“c’mon suga! You can do it!”

and so he did. 

once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory. 

after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair. 

you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.

“y/n!”

you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first. 

“hey, kou.”

“hey, sugar.”

another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him. 

heyo haikyuu night! send any requests right here..

[linaselandbasil]

The 'eligible young man' instance

I'll post this on AO3 with the same name if you prefer reading there.

He saw the ominous figures approach. Three tall individuals with pointy ears and strange clothes, looking at him with unreadable expressions.

"Hes not in any pain right now, it should be fine to talk to him." Said Ewelein, he remembers who she is. "Right Kassvin?" He muttered 'yeah'. Shortly after that, a fourth tall individual joined them.

One that Kassvin had to make a move on. "Damn, shawdy, can I have your snapchat?"

"Excuse me?" He said with his silver hair, flawless skin and golden eyes that had something hidden in them. Does he have secrets? Well, everyone has secrets, but are they diffrent than anyone elses secrets?

"Apologies, I must be moving too fast..." The four of them looked a bit confused, they must be wondering why hes hitting on someone he quite literally just met. "To what do I owe this.... visit?"

"Well." Began the tall individual with a weird cage on a stick in her hand. "I'm Miiko, the leader of the guard. I've been told you're not at your best right now so Its okay if you can't help us out, but we would like to ask you some questions."

He sat up in the hospital bed, it was not without difficulty but he was not the kind of guy to avoid formalities. One of these tall individuals, the blue haired guy, tried to help but he declined. The stranger backed away to let him do his thing.

"Kassvin Tamdar Blavio'su at your service!" He bowed his head and promptly fell over. If it wasn't for the armor clad beauty he would have hit the floor, but he caught the human before his brain damage membership got renewed. "Thankkya~"

He was gently placed on the mattress and blinded by the light of heaven emitting from the lamp above. He didn't feel like moving anymore after this previous mishappening of him allmost deleting even more of his already sparse braincells.

"Great!" Miiko said. "This is Nevra, Ezarel and Valkyon," She briefly adressed the men in the room, pointing at each of them as she said their names. "They're not going to ask you anything but I would prefer if they were present. You don't mind, do you?" She spoke with a honeyed voice, carefully choosing her words.

Kassvin looked at the tallest of these tall gentlemen. Valkyon, thats such a strange name, but hes so damn hot!! "I sure don't mind him being around~" He said, nearly melting into the cotton sheet under him. He was rocking a blush so intense it cut through his summer tan.

"I see." She looked like she couldn't believe this was really happening while Ezarel and Nevra had way too much fun at the back. Valkyon almost seemed unaffected, but he had a certain kind of glimmer in his piercing amber eyes. A glimmer that said 'Shooketh'.

"We found you in the forest with injuries so severe, you would have died without immediate medical attention. I would like to know how you, a human in earthian clothes, got into this situation." She said with stone cold seriousness.

"I.... I don't really know. Where are we anyways?" He said with a vocal fry from begining to end.

"The guard of El, Eldarya." The woman said. "Can you describe the fight in detail, if you feel comfortable."

"Well, I-" He looked flustered. Maybe because the tall dark and handsome object of his immense desire kept looking at him. He's shyyyy okay?? "I dont remember any attack happening, how awkward...." He made eyes at his newfound muse, hoping that he takes the bait and flirts back. Hes so high....

"Okay, well." Miiko doesn't look pleased. "Well, when the incident occured, there happened to be a group of our guardians passing by. They heard the commotion and found that the fight was already over. The report states that first they saw the bodies of unknown warriors and then noticed you on the ground as a certain somebody was trying to stop you from bleeding out. Do you know who that person was?" She isn't that nice anymore. Must be dissapointed in him, Kassvin thought.

"I think I do, but I'm not sure. I don't remember ever interacting with them but I can recall how safe I felt when they saved my life."

"YOU KNOW HIM?" The weird contraption in ther hand set ablaze in blue flames. The man named Nevra stepped closer to her in an effort to ground her. "YOU?!?!"

He was at a loss for words. "I don't know? I don't remember anything!"

"Hhmmp!" She massaged her temple.

A tired looking nurse opened the door to the secluded room. "Everything okay?" He asked. Hes the one who looks like every tumblr aesthetic from 2013-2016 combined into a racially ambiguious (its a ridiculous word, lemme help you pronounce it: AM-BIG-YOU-OUS) but white passing twink. You know, the one that looks like exactly the kind of person who has seven diffrent versions history makers on his playlist.

"Yes, don't worry." She said. He left with a nod.

The four leaders turned around to find Kassvin striking a ridiculously dramatic pose, looking like Giorgiones Sleeping Venus. He sucked a delicate little breath in then looked Valkyon dead in the eye with the most serious expression. "But, seriously. Are you eligible? Because in that case I would like to change that!"

The man was too stunned to speak, he would never recover. Nevra and Ezarel had to leave the room to maintain an air of formaility within it. Miiko just stood there, bevildered.

"Back to the matter at hand." She said. "You say you don't remember. Its possible that your head trauma caused memory loss. Is there anything that you DO know?"

He stayed silent, looking at the blinding overhead lighting. When the other two leaders returned, they could tell that something changed drastically.

"I remember nothing..." He muttered.

"Wait, nothing?" Valkyon spoke for the first time since entering.

"Nothing."

"There's no way, what are the chances of that happening?" He asked noone in particular.

"Okay, but will you go on a date with me when I get better?"

"I- Listen, this is not the right time." He tried to dodge the question, hes so caught off guard by being hit on in these circumstances he doesn't know what to say.

"So maybe?" Kassvin persisted, suggestively running his hand through his hair.

"That's enough for today. Thank you for your cooperation, Kassvin!" Miiko marched out the door, dragging Valkyon after her. The other two waved goodbye as they followed.

He forgot about this literally five minutes after these misterious, tall individuals with pointy ears adorned by strange attire left, but poor Valkyon is yet to hear the end of drunken retellings of this story.

[5sosarelarries]

Pt. 5✨🧚

His gratitude and love towards the fans pt. 2💖🥺🤧

These are some random snapchats he made in the past but most of them send love bc HE felt like sending lov to us just BC HE COULD and was kind enough to check up on us and give us content even tho he doesn't have too and probably has much better stuff to do with his time. But he found sending us love much more important, and that's what I love about him.

Did u guys notice he doesn't do that anymore?

Maybe bc this fandom bullied the will to communicate with us out of him??????

Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable going online anymore???

Did u guys ever think of that????

This man right here has NEVER done ONE THING wrong. EVER. At least not in a way y'all should fucking bully HIM until he never comes back online. They took a break bc of the sexual assault false accusations but still.. since wwj tour he has not communicate with us like he used to.

Pls simply leave the fandom if u dislike the boys anymore and don't spread hate on social media. it's totally cool if u dont like them anymore- ppl move on. But These things(hate on social media and cyber bulling could destroy a persons life AND mental health. You wouldn't want that happening to u so why to someone as unproblematic, loving and kind as Ashton Irwin who has never done anything wrong?

Pls think before u even CONSIDER of writing something mean. TO ANYONE. doesn't matter who. Even if they're a celebrity with 200m followers it doesn't mean they don't have feeling. We are ALL human. We all feel. Bc one mean comment could matter more to someone even if it's in between 100 and 10000 of good comments. Never forget that. Pls.

Pls don't ignore my posts about this VERY important subject and reblog them x💖

Happy bday Ashton I love U more than anything.

ONLY Love and support Ashton.

Hate never leads to something good.

Remember that.

Pls don't scroll past this!! x

[minjoonalist]

when you have to leave. (m) [myg]

“ I Dont want to stop this”

Genre: Smut

Words: 1.4k

Pairing: idol!Yoongi x Fem!reader

Warnings: Public sex?, cursing, explicit wording

Discription: a drabble where YN’s “ex” just cant seem to let her go.

+++

A shiver snuck down your spine with the cold breeze hitting your bare back. The only thing that kept you warm was the thin sheets from your bed that you wrapped around yourself. You sighed and Your feet moved above the cold service of the rented hotel room’s floor and balcony. Your hair was tossled, cheeks were flushed, and your body was deliciously sore from the heated session of you and your...ex-min yoongi.

You both did this often. Sneaking in and out of expensive hotels and laying up at night under each other. No matter how many times you’d both would say “ no more” it never did seem to work out that way. You two just couldnt keep it together without the other.

It was hard to stop and quite frankly you both didnt want to. Albeit you both were suppose to remain only friends for his image-you just couldnt seem to care.

You closed your eyes -thinking about how amazing he felt between your legs. From How he began taking his time fucking into you gently while whispering sweet nothings in your ear and all the way to him breaking on top of you -spewing out curses and your name while he took his final blows.

“ aren't you cold out here?” You bit your lip , bringing yourself out of deep thought.

Strong arms wrapping around you from behind with a warm bare chest pressing to your back. He leaned his chin comfortably on your shoulder. The deep sleepy voice bringing a dark warmth down your stomach. It was amazing how easily this man could turn you on.

You hummed in response, leaning back into him. Embracing any kind of warmth he gave you.

You wished you could do this all the time.

His feather like kisses were placed onto the skin of your neck and some of your back, A soft moan escaping your lips in the process. You both were staring out into the city lights below when his grip tightened and you were being lifted off the ground.

“Come back to bed with me...I missed you so fucking much y/n” he mumbled

“I have to go soon Yoongs...I cant risk getting caught coming out of your hotel” you giggled from his breathe tickling your neck while he frowned.

Yoongi hated this. Why couldnt he be seen with the one girl he truly loved? Why did he have to sign that stupid ass contract before he met you?

Yeah of course he didn't want to hurt or disappoint his fans and he didn't want to ruin his ‘Girlfriend’s reputation, But he was also sure that once they saw you two together they’d love you. He remembered slipping up once and posting that snap with you in it. You were walking along the sands of the private beach he and the guys rented one weekend. He didn't have his camera but he couldn't help filming you in your wet all white cover up and bathing suit that hugged your curves and ass just right.

He remembered So many fans replying-saying who is she?...she's so pretty!...or I’m sorry but you guys would look AMAZING together. Its like they completely forgot about the fact that he had an ‘Idol Girlfriend’.

Of course neither of you loved each other-so she was well aware of your little meet ups as well his members. To him that was another great thing about your non-relationship-The guys loved you, especially Namjoon and Hoseok. They could talk to you for hours, inviting you along with them to parties or even just to hangout while they worked. They also made sure to help you two stay on the low.

if only it were simple.

“Did you hear me?” You whispered at his dazed state. He shakes his head remembering his purpose of following you out onto the balcony. “ I said I have to go..” you attempt wiggle out of his grasp only to have him turn you both around. He walks to the lounge chair ,sitting you both down ,still keeping his arms firmly placed. Your breathing halts ,surprised by the hard on he somehow managed obtain again.

“Yoongi...” you whine. “Yes YN” he mumbles finding your neck again- only now placing hot desperate kisses all around. A gasp escapes and you lean back into him ,allowing him further access. Once he finds your sweet spot, you whimper loudly and your hand shooting up towards the back of his head. Your fingers running up through through the soft blonde hair. “Maybe....I ....want you to get caught YN” he says finally, hands running down alongside your body and stopping at your hips. He squeezes them gently “Maybe I want everyone to know how deeply in love I am with you”.

“Stop joking around yoongs” you breath. It was so hard to keep control , you needed to leave and soon. “Theres no joking YN” yoongi pulls swiftly at the only thing keeping you decent. The sheets that were covering you ,fall silently to the floor and The cold air hits your body like water making your nipples stand erect.

Yoongi attacks them pinching and pulling at them while still placing kisses on you from behind. Your pussy throbbed and you felt unbelievably hot for the 4th time that night. “-I .....really n-need to leave” you were trying to convince yourself of this but your ex thought otherwise. He scoots himself to the edge of the chair with you on his lap. Now instead he was facing the top of your back. “ stay” is all he says before lifting your hips and lining his thick length at your entrance.

“Fu—ck!” You hissed once he slips inside, bringing your hips down on him and filling up your tight hole. “I dont want to stop this” he growls bring you back up and pulling you back repeating the motion slowly. “ I dont care who can see- oh fuck!” He closes his eyes “ and I dont care who can hear you screaming my name” .

You cover your mouth, looking down through the glass and towards the busy streets far below. Your knees attempting to squeeze themselves together only to be blocked by his. “Yo-ongi!....fuck please dont s-stop ah!” You try not to scream , not wanting to catch anyone’s attention.

He didnt like that -he wanted you to say his name and scream out how good he was fucking you. He wanted you to know just how much He didnt care if anyone found out you were together. so standing up and he pushed you to lean on the balcony’s glass gate. Your hands having no choice but to find purchase on the metal bars when he starts fucking into you from behind at a brutal pace.

“Fuckfuckfuck....” you Scream with every thrust as he leans his head back for a moment ,mouth parting when your walls clench tightly around him. You were close already and he knew it. “Say it princess....say whose cock is filling you up right now?” He says.

You close your eyes lost in the pleasure “ You...”

“Who?”

“Yoongi! ”

“Who YN, I cant hear you!” he growls out, taking harder thrusts against you. He pounds into you relentlessly bouncing your body at a dangerous pace until your legs felt like giving out and then it hits you. Your orgasm crushing you with such a force you scream out his name until the man finds his own in you. “ YOONGI! ....MIN YOONGI! O-Oh FUC-” your eyes roll back and he catches your hips to keep your legs steady.

He slips out of you ,pulling your weak body up and carrying you back into the chair while the cold air calms the both of you. It seemed like hours had passed by since your quicky when it was only a mere few minutes. “ you still want to leave?” He asks thoughtfully before he looks down at your peaceful state.

“YN?” He asks only to find you fast asleep on his chest. He smirks ,chuckling to himself before bringing you back inside the hotel room and placing you gently on the bed. You shuffle a bit, your hair covering your face just a little only revealing part of your mouth and one of your eyes. Honestly you didnt look much different from his ‘idol girlfriend’ at least not to everyone else.

Yoongi sits back admiring only to think about how once again he didnt have his camera. He looks at his phone ,picks it up and opens the snapchat app. He stops contemplating on whether or not he really wanted to do his next actions.

...fuck it....

He then snaps the picture perfectly before writing his caption and ‘accidentally’ posting it up.

Can you believe she wanted to leave...

[art-by-rozzai]

band au headcannons? more likely than u think

tbh i just love found family tropes and band tropes and platonic lamp is the shit

SO

HERE WE GO FOLKS

it’s the schools fault really. it starts as some stupid music theory project where virgil is forced to make friends once again, and do all of the work yet get none of the credit. the requirements seem simple enough-find three-four different instruments and write a song about something you all have felt before

when patton hart, the one of the only kids who’s ever made an attempt to talk to him, asks virgil to join his group of three, virgil decides he’s got nothing to lose and agrees.

virgil plays keyboard/piano and sings. his voice is really good, sounds a lot like tyler joseph from twenty øne piløts. (remember that lmao) his keyboard is his life-the only thing that’s able to help him through his anxiety is music. it’s a lifeline for him. virgil’s keyboard is plain black when the band starts, but when they start to become more mainstream, logan and roman buy virgil a purple piano and paint on a lightning theme. he loves it.

patton plays drums. he started playing because of his fidgeting-he was always tapping his fingers on something and decide to make the best of it!! his drums are a light blue set. (later, clouds are painted on them by roman and virge). playing music is one of his favorite things, but he wishes he had people to play with. his solo group is missing something-so, he starts by asking logan croft, straight a student, validictorian and the band’s best bassist. lo says he might as well, and types his number into patton’s phone before offering a small smile and heading to his next class. then, he talks to roman prince-an incredible gutairist and singer, the lead in almost ever school musical.

logan plays bass. (and cello, but that’s not as important for the story lmao) he likes bass because while it doesn’t stand out the most, it’s crucial to carrying the melody of the song. his bass is decorated completely in a space theme-stars and galaxies line up the sides and the strings have been replaced from black to white. roman and patton worked together to create it and gave it to him for his 15th birthday present. it’s the only gift he’s cried over receiving

roman plays gutair/uke. he also sings a lot, but doesn’t like it as much unless it’s for the school play, where he isn’t worrying about playing an instrument at the same time. the double tasking can screw up his playing a lot. he learned uke first, after obsessing over dodie clark videos. he plays a tenor uke that he decorated with disney stickers, usually on covers because it’s sounds really good with his voice. he plays acoustic and electric gutair, but he seriously prefers acoustic. he decorated his light wood gutair with hand drawn roses in different shades of red. it’s his prized possession.

so now these three friends and one acquaintance are partners! (yay!!) patton sends them all a text to meet at his house on friday, and bring instruments and a smile. virgil shows up ten minutes late (not enough to be rude but enough to not seem too excited) and carries in his keyboard. he takes a seat next to logan, who is sprawled across the couch scribbling into a notebook.

after a few games of never have i ever to get to know one and other more (patton insisted) the four began to work. they discuss topics to write about and suddenly find themselves having a really deep conversation about life and death and feeling meaningless

and they relaize that maybe they have more in common then they thought.

so they start writing. and playing. and writing. and playing. it takes three sessions before they write their first song-it’s called taxi cab. (listen to the tøp song bcuz it’s that but add in bass and a bit of uke)

when the project is turned in, they get an a, and virgil is surprisingly upset he won’t see these friends again. until patton starts inviting him to hang out with them more. and suddenly he feels like he didn’t have a life before patton, logan and roman. everything is going great-he gets to bake and laugh with patton, read and stargaze with logan and watch movies and complain about drama with roman. life is perfect.

until roman suggests they put the song on his yt channel and things start to get crazy. after much arguing, virgil agrees on one condition-they’re faces must be blocked out. romans cool with it, deciding to create a cool thumbnail and simply play the audio. they decide to name the band “sander’s sides” after their highschool, sanders high and the fact they’re all different sides that all come together in the end. the video goes viral overnight.

virgil is panicking. this was just supposed to be some easy project that was over immdiatly and now he’s on the trending page??? this is insane roman i swear to god-

virgil’s not the only one freaking out-logan is terrified. people have never seen him in this way-vunerable and showing a side of himself he doesn’t like that much. if anyone finds out one of the members is him-logan doesn’t know what he’d do. still, the comments are flooded with love for all four members. people are obsessed with this group.

so after some convincing from patton, the group starts writing together more often. they post frequently on youtube, constantly creating more and hanging out together. then they drop their first album, simply called “sander’s sides”, which the fans nickname “self titled”

the album gets insanely popular very quickly. part of the hype is the mystery of who the band mates were-only the friend’s family members and the schools band teacher know. it’s the middle of lunch when lo gets the call from his mother to turn on the radio and he nearly faints. they’re on the radio!!! people everywhere are listening to them!!!

everyone is talking about who the sides could be. fans have started to call themselves the “fanders”

patton lovesssss fan interaction-so he suggests they start responding to fanart/mail! they each are allowed to run one account-patt starts a band snapchat, logan takes twitter, roman creates a band insta and virgil sets up the tumblr account. they all enjoy responding to fan work, especially answering questions that the fans have.

most noteably-w h a t a r e u r n a m e s ?

but logan and virgil insist they dont tell anyone-what if people they know in real life find out that they’re in the secret famous band

that’s when fans decide to use nicknames-

whoever is running the tumblr account constantly makes self deprecating jokes and complains about mental health? anxiety!

the insta runner is very proud of his aesthetic and ability to create stunning pictures of each member without revealing their identity? creativity!

the snapchat runner is the biggest sweetheart ever and constantly send fans inspiring messages and reminders to drink water? morality! (most of the fanders end up just calling him dad tho.)

the twitter runner is the most responsible, is always up to date on politics and sends helpful advice to fanders who need help being adults? logic!!

i’m gonna finish this tmrw but enjoy for now lmao lmao

(check out that kinda similar band idea that idk the name of but can b found when u search “sanders sides lamp headcannons”)

[ftazcras]

was  that  azura  chesky  i  just  saw  hurrying  across  the   quad  ?  you’d  think  they  would  know  what  happens  when  a  sophomore  is  late  to  class .  then  again  ,  the  fashion  major  has  been  known  to  be  pretty  finicky .  maybe  being  so  effulgent  helps  keep  them  out  of  trouble  .  i  heard  they  are  bicurious  and  love  daddy  kink  &  choking .

name   :  azura  juliette  chesky  .

nickname/s   :   az , zura  ,  aj  .

birthdate   :   november  fifth  ,  thus  making  her  a  scorpio  .

age   :   twenty  one  .

gender   :    cisfemale  ,  she   ╱  her . 

hometown   :  charlottesville   virginia   but  she  lived  in  venice  italy  for  four  years  after  mother  left  .

sexuality   :  bicurious  .

   INCEPTION :

honeyed  hues  and  rosy  lips  ,  you  are  porcelain   features  and   the  daughter  of  a  man  who  would  give  you  his  world  and  everything  beyond  that  ..  you  grew  up  with  financial  privilege  and  the  sound  of  sweet  laughter  falling  from  reflected  features  .   your  childhood  consisted  of  cotton  candy  skies  blending  into  the  craved  oceans  that  devour  painted  toe  nails  .  the   gentle  tug  on  your  arm  as  you  allow  your  twin  brother  to  pull  you  into  one  of  his  schemes  .   you  do  not  like  to  talk  about  the  day  your  mother  walked  out  on  you  ,  nor  the  nights  you  begged   the  skies  above  you  to  answer  all  of  the  why’s  you  had  ..  why  did  she  leave  ,  why  weren’t  you  good  enough ..  why  did  she  not  love  you .  it  shaped  you  more  then  you  would  like  ,  but  you’d  never  admit  that  .  

PERSONALITY  AND  FAST  FACTS  :  

effulgence  in  human  form  is  accurate  for  azura,  she  is  a  bubbly   energetic child  who  does  not  know  how  to  stop  her  lips  from  rambling  .   as  her  brother  would  announce  ,  she  likes  the  sound  of  her  own  voice  (  despite  everyone  else  around  her  having  a  different  opinion .  )  

she  is  clumsy  ,  which  is  ironic  considering  she  is  a  beast  on  a  cheer  mat  .  but  the  minute  she’s  off  she’s  tripping  .  falling  .  busting  ass  .  all  of  her  most  embarrassing  moments  consist  of  her   falling .

she  is  a  goof  ball  ,  tends  to  always  be  teasing  someone  .  

entirely  affectionate  and  not  always  in  a  sexual  way  ,  she  genuinely  just  enjoys  simple  acts  such  as  holding  your  hand  .  resting  her  head  on  your  shoulder  .  she  is  the  friend  that  is  always  jumping  all  over  you  ,  will  sit  on  your  lap  despite  there  being  an  open  spot  right  there  .  and  of  course  ,  when  in  an  relationship  her  affection  does  not  differ  .  this  intensifies  when  she’s  drunk  .

despite  her  being  a  doll  baby  ,  when  it  comes  to  getting  to  know  her  on  an  emotional  level  she  can  be  difficult .  hard  to  please  ,  hard  to  get  .  

she  is  convinced  everyone  will  leave  her  ,  and  with  that  she  is  either  clinging  to  you  or  is  pretending  like  you  dont  mean  anything  to  her  to  help  convince  herself  that  when  you  do  leave  it  wont  hurt  .  

her   abandonment  is  not  something  she  admits  to  herself  ?  but  mostly  it’s  because  she’s  playing  this  game  of  hey  i  barely  even  remember  her  who  even  cares  i  dont  need  anyone  who  doesnt  need  me  .

she  is  entirely  loyal  to  her  friends  ,  and  takes  loyalty  seriously  .  there’s  nothing  worse  you  can  do  then  betray  her  (  or  lie  to  her  )  .

she  craves  meaningful  bonds  with  others  ,,,  it’s  her  most  toxic  and  selfish  trait  .  has  this  weird  thing  of  needing  to  know  that  if  she  disappeared  one  day  that  people  would  miss  her  ..   lose  their   minds  .  it  ties  into  her  constantly  feeling  disposable .

is  passionate  about  everything  she  does . super  ambitious    likes  having  things  to  put  her  energy  into  .

she  hates  being  viewed  as  anything  but  the  fun  loving  angel  she  usually  is  and  with  that  she  rarely  speaks  about  her  negative  emotions . refuses  to  cry  in  public .  which  is  funny  because  she  is  definitely  a  insensitive  to  the  streets  and  sensitive  in  private  kind  of  person  .

she  is  learning  that  being  her  sensitive  vulnerable  person  is  not  a  bad  thing  but  its  hard  for  her .

is  an  adrenaline  junkie  !!  likes  doing  things  that  make  her  heart  race  !!  loves  travelling  but  that’s  her  dads fault  .  

would  live  on  the  beach  if  she  could  (  she  grew  up  on  a  beach  literally  lived  in  the  water  )  .

she  grew  up  involved  in  almost  every  sport  .  soccer  ,  volleyball  ,  softball  ,  cheerleading  ,  she  even  did  competitive  surfing for  two  years .

cheerleading  is  her  sport  .  and  it  is  something  she  still  does  in  college  and  damn  is  she  good  at  it  .  ( prefers tumbling to most things ) 

she  is  one  of  those  party  girls  i  can  already  feel  in  .  stumbling  in  at  four  am  and  still  getting  up  at  nine  am  to  head  off  to  class  and  then  practice  before  doing  it  all  over  again  ..  she   is  adventurous  and  never  says  no  to  something  that  seems  fun  so  ??   dont  tempt  her .

she  speaks  fluent  italian !! 

highkeys  likes  being  handled  .  rough  sex  is  just  up  her  alley  .  likes  being  spanked  .  aggressiveness  turns  her  on  .   clearly  she  loves  being  choked .  is  definitely  a  please  daddy  puppy  eyes  and  all  kind  of  girl  .   more  submissive  then  anything else  .  cuffs  ,  ropes  ,  she’ll  do  it  .  oral  ,  tends  to  love  giving  but  who  doesnt  love   receiving  .  the  more  comfortable  she  is  with  you  the  more  she’ll  tend  to  do  . 

WANTED  CONNECTIONS  :  

platonic  soulmates  .  i  mean  picture  your  favorite  tv  duo  and  this  is  them  .  i  want  the  full  nine  yards  .  knowing  everything  about  each  other  to  their  orders  at  taco  bell  to  their  biggest  regrets .  summer  breaks  and  winter  breaks  you  can  spot  them  on  one  another  stories  doing  something  absolutely  stupid  .  they  text  non  stop  just  to  talk  shit  and  vent  about  their  day  ..  non  sexual  bubble  baths  .  sharing  clothing  .  anytime  one  posts  a  picture  you  can  see  the  other  in  the  comments  with  an  annoying   yesssssss  baby  .  

a  group  of  friends  !!  i  just  want  a  group  of  three  of  four  that  are  always  together  doing  the  most  .  they  have  a  groupchat  ,  post  pictures  non  stop  on  instagram  together  .   snapchat  stories  while  one’s  yelling  at  the  other  and  the  other  two  are  doing  something  stupid  and  laughing  about  it  .  inside  jokes  and  even  petty  arguments  that  always  end  up  in  being  solved  …  of  course  after  a  few  subtweets .

the  first  love  ?   good  terms  or  bad  terms   .  each  other’s  first  everything  .  still  have  such  a  soft  spot  for  one  another  .  could  still  be  friends  .  

an  on  and  off  lover  ..  something  a  little  messy  .  stupid  things  like  arguing  about  seeing  another  girl  on  his  story  or  watching  her  run  off  with  another  guy  .  late  night  texts  and  soft  forehead  kisses  .  only  if  they  could  get  their  shit  together  and  admit  how  much  they  actually  love  each  other  .

confidant  ?  something  real  soft  .  opening  up  about  their  darkest  secrets  .  her  finally  admitting  to  someone  that  she’s  scared  everyone  will  leave  her  .  drunk  sobs  as  they  play  with  her  hair  and  tell  her  everything  is  okay  .  that  she  will  be  okay  .

a  partner  in  crime  .  almost  getting  arrested  together  ?  three  am  stops  at  diners  to  eat  pancakes  and  bacon  .  vacations  that  consist  of  things  they  can  not  repeat  .  encouraging  each  other  to  take  that  last  shot  or  hook  up  with  that  person  .

friends  with  benefits  .  it  does  not  mean  anything  .  it  doesnt  ,  it  really  does  not  ..  or  at  least  thats  what  they  tell  each  other .   pulling  on  another  way  from  the  crowd  to  have  a  quickie  in  the  bathroom  .  late  night  on  rooftops  giggling  and  smoking  .  blowjobs  before  practices  and  games  .  wondering  if  they’re  more  then  friends

honestly  ??  give  me  all  types  of  plots  with  different  dynamics  .  i  live  for  cute  friendships  and  angst  angst  angst  .  i  want  childhood  friends  that  remind  her  of  when  times  were  much  simpler  .  family  friends  she  considers  cousins  because  that’s  how  close  they  are  .  ex  friends  that  refuse  to  speak  to  each  other  .  ex  friends  with  benefits  that  stopped  because  one  caught  feelings  or  maybe  they  were  just  bored  .  bad  influences  and  good  influences  ..  toxic  friendships  because  not  friends  and  then  friends  again  is  so  common .  one  sided  friendships  .  unlikely  friends .  love  /  hate  relationships  !  ex  best  friends  who  miss  each  other  like  crazy  ,  old  flings  and  teammates  .  study  buddies  who  help  her  keep  her  grades  up  in  the  mist   of  crazy  stories  and  hangovers .  friends  who  only  get  along  when  they’r e  both  drunk  out  their  minds .  actual  cousins  from  her  mothers  side  ???  her  dad’s sides  ? 

[kweebtrash]

Or Nah (M)

Messy Ch. 2

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (features other members)

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: drugs, anxiety attacks, night terrors

Features: POV changes, bathroom/rough sex, fingering, blowjobs

Word Count: around 14k

A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose.

Messy Masterlist  Buy me a Ko-Fi    Other Stories

Lucas Pov

My phone was vibrating against the glass top of the coffee table ripping me out of sleep. The incessant buzzing was driving me crazy especially since my head was still fuzzy from last night. I barely remember getting home...well to Quinn and Eri's place anyway. I groaned and slammed my hand on the table feeling around until my phone was in hand. I squinted an eye open, peeking at the influx of messages that continued to scroll about my screen. I opened the messenger app and read through the dozens of texts. Johnny had added me to the group chat shortly after I met him and Jaehyun during ‘Welcome Weekend’. It was how i had found out about their party and now it was how I found out that Eri had hooked up with Johnny. He was supposedly the “king of of one night stands” and Eri was just another one to be added to his list. Or that was how it would all start out. Clearly, Ten and Yuta had met their match once they started playing with her. I wouldnt be surprised if Johnny started drooling over her too.

There was something about Eri. I still hadn’t quite figured it out myself. She was far from my type-which is why I first got with Quinn. Quinn was soft, small, pale blonde and a little ditzy- perfect. Eri on the other hand was raw, loud, obnoxious, and volatile. Dominant yet bratty, needing to be in control of everything and the first to protect if needed. She always ended up “momming” Quinn and I no matter what. She was also gorgeous in a way I didn't often see back home- tattoos everywhere, her hair a mish mash of colors, her skin deep, rich and intoxicatingly sweet. She had managed to seduce every last one of us. We were putty in her hands. Eri and I were only friends but i would be lying if I failed to admit that there were times where all i thought about was being between her legs for days on end.

I sighed and finally sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I tossed my two cents into the group conversation and yawned deeply. The smell of something cooking caught my attention and i realized I was fucking starving. I looked over at the small kitchen and saw Eri standing in front of the stove in nothing but her underwear and a little ass tank top, looking like i should eat her for breakfast instead. I adjusted myself on the couch and opened my camera, zooming in close to get the best view. I grabbed a pic and sent it to the chat. They would all be jealous of me getting to see this first thing in the morning-afternoon….whatever.. “Babeeeeessss, whatcha making me?”

“I had some pancake mix in the back of the fridge that was still good so there's that. There’s also some left over pizza. Breakfast of champions.”

“You look like a hot little wifey cooking for me. Just saying.”

“You know what you could say? Nothing.” She came towards me with the plate of food. “Here.”

My camera was still open so i faced it towards us under the guise of taking a selfie but i turned my head towards her, just as i hit the button, giving her a kiss. I posted it to the group chat too just to see if i could piss Johnny off. “How's your vag?” I asked Eri as i sent the picture.

“I survived I guess. My thighs still fucking hurt.” I moved my legs so she could sit on the couch beside me.

“Was he better than me?” I asked just out of curiosity.

“Lucas, you know I dont compare anyone. But he didn’t go down on me so he's already losing, just saying.”

I picked up one of the pancakes and shoved it in my mouth. “Fuckin’ pussy.”

“Dont talk with your mouth full. You're gonna choke.” She grabbed her PS4 controller and turned on the console as well as the tv. She flipped through the apps pulling up Netflix. “You wanna watch something? Quinn said they'd be coming home soon but i don't know how true that is.”

“Heard she was at T.Y.’s place.” I replied in between chewing and shoving another pancake in my mouth.

“Yep. Fucking him this time, i guess.”

I swallowed and shrugged. “I'll ask her to take a shower before we fuck.”

“How gentlemanly of you, Lucas.” She scoffed and started typing in the name of whatever show she wanted to watch. I noticed the hickies that were covering her dark skin, blending in with the tattoos on her back and shoulders.

“Damn, he did a number on you.” I said leaning in closer to her and running my fingers along the bruises. She winced a bit and tugged away from me.

“It's fine. I've had worse.”

“Yeah like when Ten accidentally cut you so deep you had to get stitches and Quinn wanted to deck him.”

She inhaled sharply. “Not one of our best moments. I squirmed by accident so I guess it was my fault.”

“Or he could’ve not hurt you.” I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand before kissing her shoulder.

“Eh. Whats the fun in that?”

I kissed up her neck, resisting the urge to bite her and make my marks better than Johnny's. “I make you cum just fine without hurting you.”

“Question.” She said, turning to me. “Do you like choking me?”

“What? Uh...i mean...it gets you off right?”

“Yeah, but do you like it?”

I scratched at the back of my neck. “I mean….”

She sighed. “Nevermind.”

“Aww, Eri, don't be mad. I dont mind doing it for you!”

“It's fine. Im not mad.” She curled up against my chest, wrapping her arm around my waist, and setting her legs on my lap.

I rubbed her thighs slowly, going up and down the length of them and paying extra attention to her hips. “Did you try and get him to do it?”

“Yeah, well sorta. I didnt say it outright but i kinda hinted at it. He pulled his hand away like he didnt want to touch me.”

“Not for nothing Eri but you’re like the only chick who's like ‘CHOKE ME’ during the first fuck. It can be kinda scary and not everyone's into that.”

“Fuckin’ wack is what that is.” She laughed.

“Maybe he'll do it next time.”

“Next time?” She scoffed. “I doubt there’s gonna be a next time.”

“You'd be surprised.” I kissed the top of her head and kept her close, kind of wondering if I should ask her if she wanted to fuck. It was too much work to do anal right now but maybe she'd at least want it slow. I could do that. I slipped my fingers underneath the strap of her tank top moving it down her shoulder.

“Lucas.”

I hated when she said my name like that. It was like i was in trouble with my mom. I kept rubbing small circles on her thigh, pretending like i wasn’t doing anything. “Hmm? What?”

“Cut it out.” She was always much stricter with how much we fucked, unlike Quinn. Eri was picky and everything had to be on her terms, which was why i always got reprimanded. I knew she still couldn’t resist me, especially when i gave her my puppy dog look.

“I swear i'm not doing anything!”

She rolled her eyes and pushed away from me. “Not right now.” She got up from the couch and headed back towards the kitchen. I stuffed the last pancake in my mouth and followed after her.

“Come on! I'll go slow! It wont even hurt. You know i take good care of you.” I chewed faster and swallowed hard before she yelled at me again.

“My thighs are killing me. I don’t even think i have the strength to open them for you to eat me out.”

“Well...you wanna at least suck me off?” She glared at me so hard that I stepped back in case her fist wanted to connect with my stomach. She was always an aggressive lover. “S-sorry…”

“You'd probably taste like pool water and sweat. No thanks.”

“Ok, you can pull one of my numbers and ask me to shower before hand. It's just...you know how i get in the morning, babes.” i pouted at her, starting my puppy dog stare.

“Don’t look at me like that. You know i hate that.”

“Pretty please? Pleaaassseeeeeee.”

She set her little hand on my face, smooshing me away. “I dont have time. I have band practice tonight and it starts soon.”

“Just a quick one i promise!! I'll be done fast!”

She groaned. “Lucas, seriously??” She rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine! FINE! I don’t know how you always convince me.”

“Because you can’t resist me, that's why.” I gave her a quick kiss before running towards the bathroom to shower. Honestly, i should probably bring my shower stuff to their house at some point so I could stop smelling like vanilla, and cookies, and marigolds or whatever they used. I chucked off my shorts, tossing them in the corner where Eri could get them and do the laundry for me later. I grabbed my toothbrush and slapped some toothpaste on it before getting in the shower. I turned it on full blast, preferring a cold shower than the usual depths of hell i had to suffer through when i showered with Eri or Quinn.

“Some random person added me on snapchat! Do you know a DJJ0209?!” i heard her yell at me. I almost choked on my toothbrush. I hoped the running water hid the sound of my laughter.

“Oh...no! I dont! Did you add them?!” i called back out to her before spitting toothpaste down the drain.

I could tell she was responding but i had no idea what it was. It was hard to hear her now with my head fully under the water. Hopefully it wasnt too important. I finished brushing my teeth and moved onto washing my hair, trying to get chlorine smell out of it.

“Did you hear me earlier?” her voice appeared from inside the bathroom.

“No, all i heard was someone random added you on snapchat. Who was it?”

“I have no clue. Probs some weirdo from online. I'm just gonna block it.”

“No,” i tried to keep a straight face even though she couldn’t see me behind the curtain. “Just accept it. I'm sure it's fine.”

“What the hell!? I got another one….wait this one has a little character thing. Kinda looks like Taeil…”

“Just accept them both. Who knows maybe you'll find the love of your life.” I snorted.

“Hmm yes how romantic. Mommy, daddy, How did you meet? Well son, your father sent me a dick pic on snapchat and I was so in love we instantly got married.”

“Aww, you're like a real life Cinderella.”

She hit the shower curtain, trying to get at me. “Shut up, dumbass. I have to leave here by 6, and it's a little after 4:30 now.”

“I'm coming! You wont be late.”

“Mhm.” I could hear her walking back out of the bathroom. I finished rinsing my hair and washed up quickly. I was done in a few minutes, pulling back the shower curtain to see that Eri had left a fresh towel on the toilet. She was seriously the best. I dried off a bit then wrapped the towel around my waist, heading back over to the couch. She was laying on her stomach, feet crossed at her ankles in the air and typing furiously on her phone. I leaned over the back of the couch and trailed my hand over her lower back, watching her tense for a second. She was way warmer than my hands were. I couldn’t help but wish I could play with her a bit before she left.

“You're freezing.” She said as she set her phone beside mine on the coffee table.

“It's too hot. I felt sticky.” i moved around the couch, taking my place beside her again. She scooted closer to me, her hand tugging at the towel and pulling it open.

“Let’s get this over with.” She said.

“Gee, dont sound so enthused.” I rolled my eyes as she giggled at me. In a way i knew she was joking but also she was probably ready to get going to band practice. It was important to her but so was i. She would make time for me. I cupped her face in my hands, pulling her close for a heated kiss while her hand fell between my thighs and groped my cock. I licked her lips before she let me in, my tongue filling up her mouth and making her squirm a bit. I loved the way it felt when we kissed. She was always a tease, hungry yet slow, or fast and harsh. You never knew what you were going to get. Whenever i could get a soft little moan out of her, it would go straight to my cock, making me breathe harder and want to fuck her for hours on end just to coax more out.

I slid my hand down her back, moving down to cup her ass. It was one of my favorite things about her. There was nothing better then seeing how good it looked while i fucked her from behind, better yet when i fucked her ass. I tried pulling her onto my lap but she let out a strained whimper.

“Careful…” She whispered. Ok, note to self, beat the shit out of Johnny next time i saw him for making my Eri so sore. I let go of her ass and opted for her hip again while my other hand slid under her tank top. I was already half hard, giving her some room to start stroking. I opened my legs wider as she rubbed her thumb over my head in slow circles making every nerve feel electrified. I was already wiggling my hips towards her palm, parting my lips to feed a deep groan down her throat. She already knew everything i loved, everything that turned me on, everything that could make me cum. She guided her kisses to my neck, sucking on my jugular just a bit before pressing her lips down my chest.

I relaxed my head back against the couch, my nails digging into the armrest when i felt her lips surrounding me. She eased herself down, little by little, stroking what she couldn't fit in her mouth. Her tongue circled around my head and she popped off it completely to kiss up and down my shaft. Her kisses slipped down to my balls, tongueing them just enough to make me almost lose my cool. I thrusted my hips more as i tried to get her to take me back in. She looked up at me, that same controlling look in her eye.

“You gonna behave?” She asked, raising a brow.

I licked my lips and looked at at her. “Are you?”

She sat up and pulled away from me. “I'll stop right now, Lucas. I swear.”

“No you wont.” I dared.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Oh really?”

“Mhm.” i moved closer towards her, angling my head for a kiss which I knew she would pull away from. In that instant i grabbed her neck making it disappear in the coverage of my hand. Her whole body relaxed and her face fell into an expression of bliss. Her eyes were practically rolling back in her head as her giddy giggles became strained when i closed my fingers around her tighter. It was scary as all hell to do this and it wasn’t necessarily something I enjoyed but seeing how good it made her feel got me going even more. Over time i got used to it, especially when she'd clench around me and scratch at my back, her body begging me to choke her harder. “Keep sucking, babes. It feels so good when I'm in your mouth.” i swiped my thumb over her full bottom lip, watching as her tongue poked out to lick it.

I let her go then and she eased back down, sucking faster this time. Her cheeks were starting to hollow out dragging more moans out of me. I set my hand on the back of her head, adding just enough pressure to keep her in place. I trailed my other hand down her back, sliding one of my fingers underneath her panties to feel how wet she was. She was trying to squirm away from from me but i let my finger slide slowly up and down her lower lips, rubbing each drop of slick through her folds and around her clit. I shushed her gently, telling her that i just wanted to make her feel good. I loved when she came with me and i was hoping she would swallow if i had her distracted enough.

I made circles on her bundle of nerves with just the tip of my middle finger, finally managing to get a louder moan out of her. The timbre from those cute sounds were enough to make my toes curl. I choked back her name, opting to keep quiet for now so I could concentrate. Her warm hand cupped my balls then, squeezing each one slightly as her thumb pressed into the sensitive points. I was already starting to throb in her tight mouth and it was making my nails dig into her scalp harder. I felt her wiggle her hips, reminding me that my finger was still in her panties. I rocked my finger through her wetness one last time before pushing it in slowly. I let her fuck herself on it as much as she wanted, leaving her to control the pace while i focused on my impending orgasm. “Eri...fuck…” i whispered.

She pulled off in one slow drag, rolling my precum over her tongue. “You know the drill.”

I groaned. “Please, Eri? Please? Just this once? I promise i’ll-”

“No. You know the rules.”

“But Quinn-”

“Then you should've asked Quinn.” she snapped back.

I dodged her glare and nodded in defeat. One day I was going to get her to swallow but for now i guess i had to cum on myself….again. She switched out her mouth with her hand, fisting the head of my cock before sliding down my shaft and giving it a squeeze. Cum was already starting to dribble down her hand as her hold on me tightened and loosened with each stroke. She pressed her chest to mine, bringing my head closer to cover her neck in kisses and miniscule bites. Her nails were digging into shoulder ever so slightly and her angry, commanding tone melted into that dangerously sweet voice.

“Come on, baby boy. Cum for me.” she cooed.

I held onto her then, so fucking tight, trying to bury my scream into her skin. I felt my stomach heat up as i came all over myself, my thigh muscles tensing. I swallowed back, panting against her chest as i worked through the tail end of my high. She kissed the top of my head, running her fingers through my hair, until I regained my composure.

“I gotta get dressed now.” She said, wiping her hand on the towel. I slid my hand out of her panties and groaned as i looked up at her.

“Stay for a bit…”

“I cant, its’ already about to be five. Quinn's gonna be home soon and you should actually get to your dorm sometime soon. You have class tomorrow.”

“Fuck class…”

“If you skip i'm gonna beat your ass.” She slid off the couch and headed to her room. She didn’t bother closing the door as she pulled her tank top over her head and dropped her panties. I had to look away, knowing i would make a bigger mess if i kept staring.

--

Eri's PoV

I shoved open the apartment door, kicking off my boots that were starting to dig into my feet. It felt so good to be home instead of a tiny garage sweating my ass off. I lugged my guitar and amp back to my room trying to ignore the loud moans coming from Quinn's room. I set my instrument down in the little sacred corner I set up where it wouldn't be disturbed, making sure to keep my cords wrapped up. Now that I was finally in the semi-peacefulness of my room I could take off the clothes that seemed to be glued to me. I pulled off my shorts, taking my phone out of my back pocket. I hadn’t checked it in hours and i could see the screen full of notifications. One caught my eye in particular. I clicked on the little bell which opened up my snapchat. There was one photo notification from the username i didnt recognize from this afternoon. I was going to scream if it was a dick pic. I dont even know why i thought it was a good idea to listen to Lucas and accept the request.

I braced myself as i clicked on it, waiting for the worse, even closing my eyes a bit. But it wasn’t bad. In fact...it was just Johnny. Johnny?? I gripped my phone tighter, pulling it closer to my face to examine the cute puppy filter on his black and white selfie, a simple caption of ‘hey’ towards the bottom of the screen. I couldn’t help the smile that tugged on my lips. He looked incredibly cute and definitely less like an annoying fuckboy. My heart started beating faster as i realized i should respond to him. I looked like a mess and i had no idea what i should i take a picture of. My room wasn't that clean, my face was meh at best and it was way too early for ass pics. I stared into my full length mirror, accessing the damage of my makeup. With my crappy room lighting and the use of a hundred filters I could potentially pull off a worthwhile selfie to send.

I angled my phone from above and mulled through the filters, finding a cute cat one that smoothed out my face to an angelic glow and made me have giant doe eyes. When i was satisfied i snapped the pic and typed in ‘Hey yourself’ as the caption. I expected him to leave me on read for most of the night and moved onto the other notifications i had. There was a text message from Yuta showing off new hot pink rope he had gotten (one of my favorite colors), a text from Taeyong telling me that Quinn had left their vest there (which im sure he texted just to have an excuse to talk to me), and a comment from Ten on my latest instagram selfie i took at practice (when my makeup was not so gross). I went to work answering them making the minutes pass by, keeping my mind off the thought of waiting for Johnny’s response. Thankfully, the waiting was short lived.

It was another picture but this one wasn’t so innocent and cute. His shirt was halfway up his torso, exposing his abs and the trimmed line of hair that trailed below his belly button and disappeared under the waistband of his Supreme briefs that were barely covered by his sweatpants. They did no justice in hiding the thick bulge beneath. His caption this time was ‘wyd?’. I stared at the picture so intently that my eyes started to blur a bit. I hadn’t even noticed i was holding my breath until my chest struggled to expand. He was reminding me exactly why i ended up in his bed last night and why i still felt the ache in my thighs.

I wasn't going to snap him back this time. No way. I knew exactly what he was doing- just trying to get me back in his bed. I wasn't going to fall for it. I was going to let him think that i wasn't desperate and let him suffer. I set my phone face down on my bed and pulled off my fishnet stockings and my shirt, tossing them in my hamper. I whipped off my bra and pulled on the tank top i had earlier, returning to my comfy pj state. Flopping onto my mattress, i laid back and reached for the headphones that always resided beside my pillow. They were my prized possession, complete with perfect outside noise cancellation. I opened up my spotify and hit shuffle on one of my favorite albums, sighing contently as Quinn and Lucas’ moaning was finally blocked out. I set my phone on my stomach and closed my eyes. I could use another nap to be honest…

But first…

I opened up my snapchat again succumbing to the victory of being the last one to send a teasing picture. I put the hem of my tank top cheekily between my teeth while i pressed my boobs together, making them fuller and have optimum cleavage. My caption was just a response to his question; ‘nothing much. Hbu?’.

I was too damn weak for him. I knew what the hell was under his sweatpants already but somewhere deep in the back of my mind, no matter how much i tried to ignore it, i had been thinking about the way he felt inside me. The dull ache, his long fingers, every bite of his perfect teeth on my skin, the small growls that made every one of my hairs stand on end. I thought there wouldnt be a next time- That i would just have to chalk him up to another one night stand- but now i knew he was interested in something a little more and i could play my favorite game of cat and mouse.

I set my phone back on my stomach opting to focus on the music. My nails drummed against my phone case following the beat of the heavy bass. It felt like an internal clock was ticking, reminding me like an annoying little devil that I was desperate for a response. Minutes turned into a half hour, a half hour turned into  an hour. I gave up on my ability to wait when Lucas banged on my door, loud enough to shake me from half asleep stupor. He was asking me to drive him back to his dorm. I didn’t bother putting my shorts back on. Instead i trudged to the front door in just my panties, sliding on my flipflops as we made our way out to the parking lot. The both of us were yawning as we got into my car, the passenger seat was still all the way back from when he got in three days ago.

“Had fun?” I asked. I could tell he was getting drained. Having sex non stop was going to run him right into the ground. He and Quinn were always hot messes like that. And I got called the stuck up one because my relationships were slightly more calculated.

“Yeah…” He grumbled.

“How many you'd get out?”

“2...Quinn got 5.”

“Oh boy. Let me guess, you didnt eat since I fed you either, right?” He didn't answer. I sighed and took a right turn away from the dorms and towards the strip of fast food places downtown.

“Where you going?”

“To get you food.” I flicked him in the temple, making him wince. “You need to eat and stop thinking with your dick so much.”

“Yes, Eri.” He sighed as set his head on his open faced palm, staring out the window. I pulled into a Taco Bell, rubbing his knee to pull him out of his sleepy daze. He gave me his order which seemed to be a whole laundry list of calories and fat. I pulled up to the next window and automatically reached for my debit card only to realize that i had left it at the apartment inside my shorts.

“Fuck.” I whispered.

Lucas dug into his pocket and handed me his card from his wallet. I started to protest but he just gave me a small smile. “I owe you. Dont worry about it. Youre always taking care of me anyway.”

I took his card and handed it over to the employee, waiting for his order. I felt his warm hand slip into mine giving it a little squeeze. “Dont start that gay shit.” I joked. He was always so clingy, loving, and sweet and I...liked to suppress everything I could about my emotions. Somehow he always found a way to bring something caring and nurturing out of me. He was so far from home that within the year or so that Quinn and I had known him, we became his family. Sure we all fucked but it just...kinda worked that way. I could be his best friend and caregiver and we could also connect physically to a point where it was neutral. He knew i would never want a relationship with him and that was for the best.

“Dont lie, Eri. Somewhere between your big tits you have a heart and not some black void like you pretend to have.”

“Excuse you, you leave my black void alone. It's fine just the way it is. I'm going to keep it that way.”

“Admit it. In there you have love for me and Quinn. And probably Johnnnyyyyyyyy~”

“Oh, grow up.” I scoffed. “Besides he's the one who wants it more than i do. It was him who sent me the request this afternoon and he’s already sent me a slutty snap.” i replied, grabbing the bag of food from the worker and handing it over to Lucas.

“Ohhh so that’s who that was? Shocker.”

“Yeah, you knew it was him, you little shit.”

“I’m your wingman, babes. You'll thank me later.”

I pulled out of the drive through and headed back in the direction of his dorm building. “I doubt that but ok. I dont even know if i'm gonna fuck him again.”

“You will.” he replied before shoving a burrito in his mouth. I pulled up to the building shortly after, ignoring his little quip and setting myself in park.

“Here we are, kid.”

He swallowed hard, licking his fingers of cheese sauce. “Can i come over next weekend?”

“I'm gonna be busy with Yuta on Saturday so see what Quinn says.”

“Ugh, fine.” He leaned in close and gave me a soft kiss, holding it for a bit longer than usual. “See you around!” He got out the car, taking his bag of food and backpack with him. I waited until i saw him disappear into the building before taking off. My phoned buzzed from within my cup holder and i wondered if it was Johnny. I waited until i came across a red light before stealing a glance at my phone. My mouth went dry as soon i saw his username on my screen. I wanted to see what he had sent so bad but if it was too good i didnt want it to happen while i was in the car and distracted.

I zoomed down the street, my foot a little bit heavier on the gas pedal than necessary. I was home in a flash, almost drifting into a parking space before taking the steps to my apartment two at a time. I unlocked the door and rushed in, surprised to see Quinn hobbling out of their room.

“Now i know how you feel with Johnny. My thighs are killing me.”

“Speaking of Johnny.” I spat out excitedly. “He added me on snapchat and his last snap to me was him in sweatpants with his dick print all perfect and his abs out and shit. I wanted to die. And now he just sent me another one and since you’re done with Lucas you can see it.”.

“God i hope it's his dick. Will you let me see his dick? I want to see his dick.”

I shrugged and clicked on his notification. “i guess we'll see- holy fucking shit.”

I could barely see his face, only his lips curling into a smirk as his monstrous hand groped at his bulge, giving it a quick shake. God it was so gross yet here i was salivating over it. His caption was ‘thought about how good you felt’. The 10 second clip was gone almost instantly but the view was already ingrained in my mind.

“Well if youre not gonna go over there and fuck him i will.” Quinn said.

“I’d rather you kinda….didn't.” I  looked down at them as a little bit of awkwardness sparked between us.

They pouted and crossed their arms. “You're gonna hog all that to yourself?! That's so unfair!”

“Ok, i know were pretty open about who we fuck because were in the same social circle but we kinda share Yuta and Lucas already! And i'm pretty sure Taeyong is up my ass again too, so that’s three guys! Let me have this ONE.”

“Ugh!! You’re getting soft! Was his dick that good that it went straight to your head and made you loopy?! We’re supposed to use them and leave! That’s it.”

“I know! I mean i usually leave right after when I’m with Ten and Yuta, i dropped Taeyong entirely, and Lucas hangs around here constantly so i can’t do much about that. You're the one that usually kicks him out. I dont know...i just…”

“You like him?!”

“I do not! I just like his dick! And maybe his lips….and his eyes...and his arms. And his tummy is cute too. His butt looks suuuuper good and-”

“You're weak, Eri. Promise me you will only use him for his dick. He's a dumb fuckboy who doesn’t deserve you.” Quinn said.

“I know that! And it’s gonna stay that way. Trust me. I'm not even going to answer him back. I’m tired so i’m heading to bed. I’ve got an early class anyway.”

“Yeah you do that. Between Jae, Taeyong, and Lucas, i’m pooped. I'm gonna stay home tomorrow.”

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes their will to not do anything successful with college was irritating. “Ok well you do that. Just be quiet if you're going to stay up late.” i said as i disappeared into my room and curled up in bed. What i said was partially true; i wasn't going to answer Johnny back. Well not now at least. He made me wait an hour before answering me. I was petty enough to make him wait twice as long for my response. I decided to set a timer as a reminder to get up and take a cute pic of my ass. But first a quick nap would do me good.

--

My alarm shook me out of my sleep, the heavy guitar riff scaring the crap out of me. I felt around for my phone groaning as i lifted my head off my pillow to shut it off. I blinked a few times bringing the time into view. It was 7:30 am. I totally missed my timer to respond back to Johnny and i didn't have time to take something sexy now. There were no other notifications from him either. I only had a few texts from my harem and a good morning selfie from Lucas. Glad he was actually going to class at least.

I forced myself out of bed and started getting ready. Shower, brushing my teeth, getting makeup on my face so i looked semi alive and like i didnt want to throw myself out a window. I picked out a random pair of leggings and a cut up band tee. That would suffice for today. I pulled on my worn out converses and grabbed my backpack, stuffing my headphones and laptop in it. I put some deodorant on and tossed it in my bag as well. I still had a decent amount of time to get to the commuters parking lot and head to the dungeon of journalism buildings. Once i got there, it only took a few minutes to find my classroom. It was a tiny box of a room with barely any air conditioning and older wooden desks. I plopped down in the middle aisle, already feeling my thighs stick to the chair.

Waiting for class to start was a pain. I was hungry and wanted coffee. I would maybe have some time to go to the Starbucks downtown before my next class. I didnt really have Starbucks money to spare but i needed a pick me up. Other students started shuffling in as the 9 o’ clock mark crept closer. Our professor still hadn’t shown up yet. The general consensus was 10 minutes without a teacher and you were free to leave. Please let me leave, i begged silently. If I didn’t cave in and get Starbucks I could sleep in a bit more in one of the quiet rooms in the library. I had some heavy decisions to weigh out within the next five minutes before I was able to book it.

I was watching the time tick on my phone when i saw a notification from snapchat. Oh fuck…It was Johnny. I opened it quickly, covering my phone just in case it was some sort of morning wood pic. I started wondering, just for a moment, if he slept in those sweats or completely naked. When i looked down at the picture it was actually of me sitting at my desk. The caption was ‘Ur not even gonna say hi? Lol’. I straightened up and whipped my head around trying to see where the fuck he was. I saw his smirk from the back right corner of the room, sunglasses over his eyes as he gave me a little head nod and stuck his tongue out. I whipped back around in my seat, trying to hide the blush that splattered across my cheeks.

Of course he would have class with me. Of fucking course. I had no idea what to do. Would this be awkward for us if we kept fucking? I could just ignore him for the entire semester. Pretend that any emotion towards him didn't exist and that we hadn’t fucked. While i was building my exterior facade into a sturdy wall my interior was crumbling with panic. I started furiously texting Quinn, even though i knew they weren't awake, just to get my internal screaming out. How was i supposed to get away from him now?! I had to look at those stupid gorgeous lips and thick thighs every single day of fall semester! All i could do was pray that the professor still didn't show up. My foot was furiously bouncing in anticipation of my freedom and potential to leave Johnny in the dust.

Unfortunately, i didn't get my wish. The professor came in then, huffing, puffing, and way too flustered. I set my head on the table and groaned, barely ready to suffer through the next hour and a half. Every once in awhile it would feel like Johnny was watching me but each time i looked back i was sure he was sleeping behind his sunglasses. He was probably up partying too late last night again. i caught him rubbing his eyes and yawning, looking so soft and sleepy. My lips tugged into a smile, that gooey, sickly sweet feeling returning to my stomach. I needed that to stop. I sighed and looked down at the syllabus that had been passed out. No one actually gave a crap about these. We just needed to know the due dates and what stupid projects we had. Time droned on but luckily we were let out a little early.

I stood up quickly, grabbing my bag and heading straight for the door, not bothering to look back to see if Johnny was on my tail. I got my answer either way when i felt an arm around my shoulders steering me towards the rows of rentable lockers. “So you are definitely ignoring me, right?” I heard him ask.

I groaned internally. “Not necessarily. I mean i couldn't just get up in the middle of class and ride your dick.” I kept myself in front of him, shuffling my weight from one foot to the other and gripping the strap of my backpack tightly.

“Definitely would have been better then going through another fucking syllabus. Like we dont know how to read.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, when’s your next class?”

“Why?” I asked curiously.

He looked around for a second before leaning against the lockers. “Wanna hook up again? I need a quickie.”

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me. “Oh you need one, huh? Damn, didn't think you'd be the needy type Johnny.”

He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. “Let me put it this way then. I want to fuck and you’re the only one that’s here right now. Hows that sound?”

“Sounds like you're still thirsty from when I didn't answer your snap last night.”

“Don't know why you're playing hard to get when you weren’t that hard to get in my bed on Saturday.”

“And you definitely aren't hard to wrap around my finger.” I shot back, glaring at him as our bodies edged closer to each other.

“I’m hardly wrapped around your finger.” His almost hissed as he leaned in.

“You're here wanting to fuck me again, aren't you?” I crossed my arms and smirked up at him, knowing I had bested him in his little shade contest.

He dragged his tongue over his teeth and scoffed.  He looked away for a second, probably trying to recoup his ego. “Look, you want it or nah? I don’t have time to waste”

I got my phone out of my bra and flicked on the screen, pretending to see if I had enough time for him. My next class still wasn’t for another hour and a half. I could squeeze in a quickie. Besides if this perked me up then I could save a few bucks on coffee. I let out an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I have some free time. You got a condom?”

He patted his shorts, grabbing his wallet from his back pocket before flipping it open and checking the money pocket. “Yep.”

“I’m not about to fuck you with some old ass condom you’ve had in your wallet since you were like 16.”

“I just put it in there the other day, stupid. Anyway, where you wanna go?”

“Third floor has private bathroom. Normally that floor is pretty empty until later on in the afternoon. Follow me.”

I slipped in front of him, trying my best to make sure he had a view of my ass in the leggings that left little to the imagination. Besides if I lead the way I wouldn’t have to struggle as much to keep up with his long strides. We maneuvered up the stairs, flowing around the clog of students shifting classes. When we got to the third floor it was mostly clear as I had expected but I still looked around to see if anyone would possibly notice us. Johnny didn’t care, however. He sprinted ahead of me, swinging the door open the to single stall. “Come on already. No one’s gonna see.”

I sighed and scurried over to him, bouncing into the room and rushing him to close the door. He rolled his eyes as he set his backpack down and locked the door. “What? You think we’re gonna get in trouble out something? A bathroom isn’t the same as the student affairs office.”

“Shut up, asshole. I just want to be sure no one is going to interrupt us is all. I don’t have time to hear you whining about blue balls or some shit.”

“Whatever, scaredy cat. Let’s get this over with.” He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it by his backpack.

“Let’s get this over with? You know I can just leave you here to jerk off if that’s how you’re gonna be.”

“Yeah but you wont.” He grabbed the strap of my backpack and forced me close to him, my head almost ramming into his chest. I braced myself against him, about to bombard him with profanities when his hands cupped either side of my face. His head came down to connect our lips and I melted then, hungry to satisfy my addiction that already developed for his sensual kisses. I clung to his waist tight as we melded together. His tongue slipped out to massage my own, sucking it into his mouth to control every aspect of our tangle. He retreated his hands from my face and worked to shove my backpack off and drop it beside us. I had begun to claw at the waistband of his shorts while he grabbed a hold of my hair. His other hand rested on the small of my back, making sure i was crushed against him. My breath was barely able to escape with how close we were and his lips not breaking from mine. I managed to pop open the button of his fly while he moved us backwards, trapping me between his well built frame and the bathroom wall. I pulled away finally, gulping down air that he threatened to take away again.

“You like shoving me against shit, don’t you?” i panted heavily.

He licked his lips, lowering himself even more to kiss at my neck. “I like having you exactly where i want you. Plus, it's hot to see you stand on your tiptoes just to try and kiss me.”

“I'm pretty sure you just like me being short because my mouth is closer to your dick.”

“I mean that too.” He chuckled lowly before wrapping his lips around my collarbone to draw blood to the surface. “We can test that out if you want.”

“If i'm good at giving head?”

He small groan against my shoulder. “Yeah. That.”

“Well…” I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him back, switching our positions to have him pinned to the wall. “I haven't had any complaints yet.” Johnny looked a little surprised, yet excited at the prospect of me sucking him off. His eyes were fixated on me, on my lips, as i trailed passionate kisses down his stomach and nipped at his iliac's crest. In a split second, his shorts were around his ankles and my knees followed them to the ground. I was mostly confident in my ability to pleasure him until a sickening feeling started bubbling in my mind. How the hell he was even remotely going to fit into my mouth? I could barely take him inside me without minutes on end of preparation. Now he expected me to shove him down my throat? I swallowed hard when the outline of his dick trapped in his boxer briefs stared me down.

“You just gonna sit there or-?” he snapped.

I realized he had been waiting for me to start. My heart was thundering already as I tried to conceive of a way to swallow him down comfortably. I sighed internally and just decided to bite the bullet. I rested my hands on his hips kissing the outline of his cock through his underwear. His breath stilled as his eyes closed and his head dipped back ever so slightly. I kissed the head of his cock, sucking gently and tonguing around the thickness. My hands wandered from his hips to his ass, grabbing a hold of his firm cheeks. I heard him let out a small laugh before pulling my hands away, making me pout.

“What's up with you girls and my ass? Ya”ll are always grabbing it.” he said.

“Not for nothing but it’s pretty cute and if you want me to enjoy sucking your dick even more, you should probably let me do it.” I yanked my hands from his and pulled down his underwear swiftly, revealing what made me scared yet lustful. He was rolling his eyes, preparing to retort with another quip when i wrapped my lips fully around his head. He exhaled softly instead, making the easiest of thrusts into my mouth as he started getting hard. My mouth was expanding to accommodate being fuller and I tried swallowing around him, inching my way down gradually. My eyes were already squeezed shut, my chest heaving as i forced myself to breathe through my nose.

The groan that came out of him was definitely a bit louder and deeper than what i heard during our last hookup. It was followed by a much softer ‘keep going’ as his long fingers came to rest on my shoulder. His thumb stroked my jugular, keeping me steady against him. My body relaxed a bit more as i felt the warmth of his hand so close to my neck. I was leaning into him again, wanting to feel the constriction of my air supply. I was able to swallow down more, barely half way but better than what i expected. I worked a hand around his base, giving a small squeeze before starting rhythmic strokes. My fingers met my lips as I flowed between sucking and stroking, trying my best to coax those rumbly groans out of him once more.

His thumb finally pressed into the front of my throat and I could feel the pressure every time i swallowed back. My grip on his ass tightened my nails digging into the muscles and leaving small marks behind. I wrapped a small moan around the tip of his cock as I felt the beginning drops of precum coat my taste buds. He hissed softly as he slipped the condom from his pocket into my hand. “Hurry…”

I smirked, releasing him from my mouth and tearing the foil open. “Still so needy, Johnny~”

He turned his eyes away from me. “Just hurry up and make me cum.”

“Hah, funny. I'm the one who should be cumming before you, asshole.”

“If you earn it.” He guided my hand towards his dick, commanding me to roll the condom on. 

I scoffed, pinching the tip of the rubber as i rolled it down his shaft. “If I earn it? You’re seriously bad at trying to be the one in charge.” I lied. His sharp tongued quips and deep tone was sending shivers down my spine. I wanted him to control me, command me, and have me fight tooth and nail against him.

Johnny grabbed me by my arms, hauling me up to my feet and harshly pulling down my leggings. I couldnt even say anymore before his fingers were down my panties. His middle finger was coyly circling my entrance and I knew he was just trying proving his point. Specifically, when his finger made one slow drag up to my clit before sliding back down again. “You were saying?”

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. “Instead of annoying me with your smart ass mouth and your boring repeated tricks, why don’t you repay the favor by eating me out?”

He looked down at me, wrinkling his nose in a face of disgust. “Nah, i'm cool.”

Excuse me?? What? Did he really just deny eating me out? What kind of nonsense was that?!

“Why not? I literally just sucked your dick. It's the least you could do.” i almost growled. I would have much rather had him go down on me and not be such a jerk about it. Maybe i was spoiled. Every single one of my other partners would do it for me, from Taeyong to Quinn to Lucas and everyone in between. Johnny was the worst exception and my mind still toyed with the idea of leaving him here to get off on his own. I felt his finger dip into me again, trying to distract me from my tirade of angry thoughts. I hated him for all the convincing he was doing by filling me with his thick long fingers, furling and unfurling at a pace that made me squirm against him. My anger was slowly dissolving and my hips were grinding into his palm with each thrust. His breath brushed against my ear while his other hand tugged on the hem of my tee.

“Off, now.” He purred against me.

His command was better and more convincing this time. The timbre of his voice made my thighs clench just a bit and brought out the worst in my bratty personality. “Make me.”

I didn’t expect him to laugh in my face. “What are you, twelve? Just take it off.”

“Shut up! You're the one trying to command me and shit!.”

“I thought that's what you liked? Or is that only when you're tied up with your legs open?” He pulled his fingers out of me, my juices glistening under the fluorescent lighting. I stared at them, my tongue coming to drag over my bottom lip as tension filled the minimal space between us. I swallowed back when i saw the way he was looking at me, irritated yet primal in a way. He gave another tug on my shirt and i didnt question it this time. I pulled it over my head, along with my bra, and dropped it to the floor, never taking my eyes off him as he gripped my chin and pushed his cum covered fingers passed my lips.

The way he filled my mouth so easily had me clawing at his waist to keep him against me. My tongue worked over each digit, sucking my taste off before forcing myself down to his knuckles. His brows furrowed as he watched, concentrating on every movement and the way I grabbed at his wrist as if I was pleading to never pull away. I did however manage to regain myself enough to send a taunting question his way. “Remember when you said you were going to finger me so hard you would have me cumming in minutes? That didn't happen last time. Gonna make up for your lie?”

“i wasn’t lying but since you want to test me so bad bend over the fucking sick then, smartass.”

He shoved me towards the sink so fast that I struggled to kick off my converses and leggings so i wouldn't trip. I grabbed onto the sides of the sink, glaring back at Johnny through the mirror that was bolted above it. “You don't have to push me.”

“Aw baby,” he cooed as he lifted my knee onto the edge of the sink. “Dont lie, i know you love this. I’m gonna make you cum all over my cock.”

“Pause. Big pause. Don’t ever, and i mean, EVER say that. It's gross and literally the most unsexy thing someone could ever say.”

He shrugged, his voice dropping in tonality. “Usually girls want me to say shit like that.”

“Get it through your thick skull that i’m not one of your little chickenheads. What works for them doesn't do shit for me. Just...be yourself.” I sighed as I squared my shoulders and looked back at him. “Ok?” I said softly.

He licked his lips and cleared his throat. “What fucking ever.” He was back to his cocky attitude then but for a split second i could see a small shift in his eyes. Maybe it was doubt or him softening up a bit through me calling him out. I hoped it got through to him or else i'd have to use one of Ten’s ball gags every time i was with him.

He resumed his impatient plunges, as if nothing had transpired, discarding whatever feelings that were passing through his thoughts. He pressed his chest into my back, forcing me to stay bent over the small bowl. The pressure of his body against mine continued to build up and overwhelm my endorphins. I braced my hand against the mirror, the heat from it fogging into a print. God, he was such an asshole for making me feel this good.

He gathered my hair in his fist, tugging slightly to angle my head towards the mirror so i could see the smirk on his reflection.“You know i think i like it better when you don't talk either.”

I gave him a spiteful glare as our eyes chased one another before his tongue dove to place lavish licks across my throat. My shoulders tensed at the sensation, fighting to give into carnal desires that seemed to flare up whenever I was with him.

He placed more bites between my shoulder blades mixing them with the still fresh marks from our previous escapade. He joined his destruction of my skin's surface with the curling of his fingers again, pressing the pads of his fingertips against the sensitive area within me. My lips clasped into a impenetrable wall, sealing in my moan while his were flowing freely into my shoulders. I felt his cock burying into my back, the friction of my squirming leading him into torment. My supporting leg seemed to lift up on its own, bringing me to my tip toes, making him get as deep as he could. The torture ceased when i finally gave into his claim, my first orgasm shocking me as it had in fact hit me in minutes. I almost believed i could snap the sink in half with how utterly amazing his fingers were.

My head dipped low as i sank back, trying to recover before he worked me up again. I wanted to rest my propped up leg down on the ground but Johnny kept it pinned in place. He didnt let me have a moment to myself. Instead he vanished inside me so breathtakingly fast that my gasp surrounded us in echoes. His hand forced an iron grip on my hip while his muscles worked to piston into me. I leaned back against his shoulder reminding me of the climax of our first fuck. My eyes were fluttered closed, lips parted and waiting to feel his tongue overrunning mine. The small teasing nibbles to my lips that turned into rumbling bites were enough to make me weak.

Mewls, curses, and begs circulated between us Then it was over. He pulled away without an explanation, a pattern he was performing all too familiarly. He busied himself with kicking off his shoes and stumbling out of his shorts. I knew he hadnt cum yet and i need that deep stretch between my thighs and that radio voice to make me drip. I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for his next move. “Well?”

He showed nothing more than calculated movements to pull me up into his arms, keeping me between his chest and the wall anew. There wasn’t any struggle to lift me, not even so much as a grunt when the muscles in his arms flexed to support my legs and my ass. I watched every inch of him tense; his legs square and steady, his chest rising and falling with each heavy inhale, and his shoulder blades pinching inwards. He was literally beautiful and i despised it. He was making my brain feel as if it was stuck in the clouds and was never going to clear itself of the fog.  He had spread me out for him, my legs dangling over his striated forearms,

I felt him then, his shaft riding between my lower lips to coat himself in my wetness. It was opposite of the rushed thrusts he had moments ago that made my stomach burn. The ridge of his head ghosted across my clit with each upward motion reminding me that the simplistic move was enough to bring me closer to insanity. That sensation was my favorite thing in the world and i ached for more. I held onto his shoulders, stabilizing myself as i inched my hips to meet his in an unwavering continuation of my satisfaction. His eyes flickered down at me, that smug look mocking me. Why did he know how to tease me so well?

I wanted to shove his face away from me but instead i dipped a hand down from his shoulder, my nails scraping against his torso. His eyes followed my fingers, getting wide as he found them spreading myself open for him. I could see his adam's apple bob with a hard swallow. “Fuck...” He shuddered. I felt my back slide down the wall as his hold on me wavered for a second. He hiked me up, repositioning me as he got a hold of himself. He was at a better angle now and the tip of his cock was already pushing past my entrance. I rested my head against the wall trying to distract myself from the way my already sore thighs were shaking and instead concentrate on the returning thrusts.

The slow sweet feeling got my body on edge just as much as the fast pace plowing did. I could feel myself tingling, shuddering each time his head caught a sensitive spot within my walls. Johnny dripped kisses across my breasts as his tongue teased tantric circles around my nipple before capturing it between his plush lips. My back arched, my breast filling his mouth enough for him to bite the swell of it. My breath hiccuped as i felt the sting of his teeth grazing against my skin. I wanted to see the after effects of those perfect rows when i thought of him later on tonight. He kissed at the indentations, creeping his way back up to my neck. 

His motions switched to a rough slam that had his hips forcing me back against the clammy wall as i clutched onto him for dear life. The calculated and harsh thrusts were powerful enough to drive feelings out of me that i preferred to keep repressed. It didn't help at all when his husky fervored radio voice finally groaned in my ear, “Fuck, Eri….you feel so good.”

In my head i was begging him not to stop though all i could get out was little squeaks as my nails etched streaks into his back. He hissed as i clenched around him with as much strength as i could muster, spurring the morphing jagged stutters of his hips faster. Our lips met in a rougher kiss once more, teeth clashing and moans interrupting each grab of our tongues. He was stretching me as he throbbed until the ever euphoric feeling flushed over us together. Our bodies had somehow managed to sync our orgasms which shocked me into silence. Johnny pressed his forehead into my shoulder as he slowed down, riding out the last aching feeling between us. I was tingling all over, my limbs feeling like tv static, as a wave of warmth washed over my skin. Everything about this was a mystery I had to unravel. It was new and different. I had never cum at the same time as my partner before. I always thought it was an enigma that only appeared in movies and tv shows. Now that I was experiencing it I had no idea what to do or say. I looked up at him as i tried to gather myself.

“Shit...uh…” What did you say to someone who made you feel so painstakingly good?

He pulled out of me gently before setting me down on my unstable legs. I diverted my eyes from him and managed to catch my reflection in the mirror. New hickies were all over me flowing with the others and the teeth marks on my chest made the skin tender. The fatigue was setting in hard and i was harshly reminded of the warm September weather that the shitty air conditioning in this building couldn't keep up with. I wanted to shower then sleep forever, maybe with him in my bed.

That minuscule daydream ended as i saw him tossing out the used condom and getting dressed. He was cold and distant like i usually was after a quick fuck..

“See ya.” He said as he pulled his shirt back over his head and grabbed his backpack. I gave him the finger as the door shut behind him, cursing under my breath. I was pretending that it wasn’t phasing me that he was leaving me out in the cold again. I turned on the faucet and ran some water over my neck and chest, trying to cool myself down. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail before wiping the cum that was now making me uncomfortably wet from between my thighs. Getting dressed was a painful ride that i was sure to carry onto my shift at work later on. I took a deep breath before opening the door and sliding back out into the world, less horny but still feeling incredibly reckless.

--

Johnnys POV

I unlocked the door to the apartment, sighing deeply as i still felt the scratches from earlier beneath my backpack. They had bothered me all day during my shift and I had half a mind to curse Eri out. I dropped my backpack to the floor, grateful to get rid of the weight and kicked off my work boots. I ran my fingers through my hair as i took off my hat, setting it on the hook by the door along with my keys. Jae was sprawled out on the couch seeming to have done nothing all day. “Hey dipshit.”

“‘Sup, asshole.” he replied.

“I’m fucking starving.” I announced as i headed over to the kitchen. I opened the freezer and took out the frozen pizza i had been thinking about all day. I had barely eaten since i had started my shift this afternoon and at this point i would eat everything if our fridge wasn’t so empty.

“Hey i got you something.” I heard Jae call out as i tore open the box and pulled out the pizza.

“What?”

“Look.”

I turned back to see a little plastic baggie dangling from his fingers. I rushed back to him snatching it up. “Fuck! Where'd you get this from? Matt?”

“Yeah, i managed to have enough for the good shit.”

“Thank fuckin' god because Josh kept giving us mostly stems.” I replied. “I'm gonna put some food in the oven in a sec, if you wanna share.”

He nodded. “What are you making?”

“Pizza, i dont think we have another one but ill double check. Oh, we need screens.” I headed into my room for a moment, grabbing my bowl off my dresser and searching for the screens i had….somewhere. I opened my drawer and moved some of my underwear around, searching for the stupid little envelope. “For the love of tits, where is it? JAE! You got any screens left?”

“Fuck if i know.” he called back.

Thanks for helping, asshole. I went to check my desk drawer, pushing aside some of my sd cards, lighters, and notebooks until I finally found the tiny manilla envelope with the mesh screens for the bottom of my bowl. I went back to the living room and handed them over to Jae. “You wanna get it ready? Im gonna put the pizza in.”

He sat up and grabbed his grinder that was on the coffee table. “Yep. Can we use your good lighter? Mine barely has any juice left.”

We always use my good lighter. I rolled my eyes and tried to hide my annoyed sigh. I couldn't be too picky. He did get me good weed after all. “Yeah, no problem, bro.” I left him to work and shuffled back to the kitchen, getting out a cookie sheet and slapping the pizza on it, sans plastic. I looked in the freezer to see if we had anything else I could whip up. There was some left over frozen fries and onion rings. I shrugged and dumped them onto the cookie sheet, shoving the pizza aside a bit. That was good enough. I tossed it in the oven and set the timer for like 20 minutes.

I sat down beside Jae on the couch just as he was lighting the bowl, taking in a big inhale before handing it to me. I did the same, waiting a bit before exhaling, my eyes resting on the rerun of Rick and Morty he had put on. I thought about telling him what happened between Eri and I this afternoon. We normally told each other about who we fucked but i felt like i wasn't going to hear the end of his bitching if I did. Oh well. I had a mental shrug before taking another hit. “So….i fucked Eri again today.”

“Damn, for real?” He looked over at me in disbelief, shaking his head a bit. “I knew you were whipped for her.”

“Fuck off, i am not. She’s just you know…hot.” As in ridiculously cute even though she was not the usual type i went for. “And she has nice tits.” As in they fit so perfectly in my hands and i wish i could hold them all day, that i could hold her all day… “And shes tight as fuck, to be honest.” As in, i could hardly give a shit about that but she feels so damn good that my mind just turns to mush when im inside her. “Oh, and shes good at giving brain.” As in, her lips are literally a gift to this damn world and all i could think about was kissing them...but also yeah, she gives good brain too.

“Damn, her pussy must be that special to end your one night stand streak then. What happened to ‘only get her snap or instagram so she cant call you’, or ‘only ask for nudes’, or ‘fuck her and leave and dont ever text her back’?”

“The dick wants what the dick wants, bro.” I said before taking another hit. I really wished she would get out my head. I was stuck with her though. For an entire semester i had to stare at the way she twirled her hair around her finger as she tried to look back at me and hope that i didnt notice. I noticed it all and it only made it worse. Everything about her was frozen in my head like a damaged vhs tape caught in the same scene. Even at work i was fucking up coffee orders because i would remember the little moans she made in my ear or some other gay shit. Sometimes i would think about tracing my fingers over her tattoos and seeing what other things turned her on. I hated this. I needed to separate myself from her. Sleeping with her again was a mistake.

“You good or are you just spacing out from the weed?” Jae laughed.

I blinked quickly and looked at him, suddenly coming out of my funk. I had no idea how long I spaced out for or however many hits i took. It was kind of an unconscious motion at this point. I laughed nervously trying to cover up that i had been thinking about Eri. “Oh yeah, haha. Shit's good. I'm gonna check on the food ok?”

“I think the timer went off.” He shrugged as he packed another bowl. I went to check the food, taking my phone with me. I was secretly hoping that i would have a snap from Eri. There was nothing. I should've been happy because it meant i could cut ties and not have her in my room again (or bathroom for that matter). But a feeling in my stomach kept tugging. It was if my gut was telling me to just take the chance and message her again. We barely talked otherwise. Even today i just left her in the bathroom because it was what i was used to even though I felt like I should’ve said more. That orgasm was fuckin’ insane-better than anything I had ever had before. Maybe one more little hook up wouldn’t kill me. No. I was starting to break my own rules.

I wanted to slam my head against the wall with all this back and forth bullshit in my mind. I needed to smoke more; until my head got foggy, my eyes blurry, and i could laugh this feeling away. I opened the oven and stared at the food for awhile, trying to gauge if everything was cooked without actually touching it. I cocked my head to the side, watching the slow bubbling of the pizza cheese and listening to the sizzle of the fries that were just starting to crisp.

“Is it done?!”

I stepped back from the oven, wiping away the sweat on my forehead that had started to accumulate from being in front of the heat for so long. I looked around for a potholder, finding it on the floor because Jae could never pick anything up. I pulled the tray out and grabbed a plate for myself. “Come get your own shit!”

I grabbed a knife and started hacking away at the pizza, trying to get it into slices. I was so focused on trying to unstick it from the tray i almost didnt notice the two quick vibrations that went off as my phone screen flashed on. I tried not to look at it right away since Jae was making his way over to the kitchen. If i didn’t play it cool he would go back to bitchin’ about me hooking up with Eri again. He started picking off fries from the tray, opening and closing his mouth to try in get cold air in, instead of waiting for it to cool like a normal human being. Meanwhile, I managed to get half a slice of pizza unstuck and dropped it onto my plate before joining it with some onion rings. I picked up my phone, making sure Jae was too engrossed with eating to see what Eri had sent me.

It was a picture of her neck and shoulders. The new hickies from today that had amassed into a weird purple splotch on her skin. Her caption was ‘can you not? I do have to go to work you know lol’. I smirked. Seeing them all over her made me feel something. Like i had marked my territory? Eww no. That sounded gross. Maybe i liked seeing a reminder of me on her? It was feeding into my thoughts of ‘maybe she was thinking about me too’. My thumbs hovered over my keyboard for a solid minute. I didnt want to sound like an idiot or worse, a desperate idiot.

Text me when ur free?

I hit send in the chat section then typed out my number. I never did that. Never fucking ever. I was kicking myself mentally already. She wasn’t going to text back. I set my phone in my pocket and pulled off more pizza from the tray and went to the couch, alternating between eating, smoking, and feeling my body start to give into sleep. “Dont sleep on the couch.” I yawned at Jae, seeing him start to slump over on the armrest.

“I’m chill. I had a productive day of not giving a fuck and staying home. Go snap your girlfriend.” he laughed.

“Go text yours.” I got up and shuffled to my room, slamming the door behind me. I tossed my phone onto my bed and took off all my clothes, kicking them towards the giant pile of laundry on my floor. I shook off a condom wrapper that stuck to my foot then fell face first into the mattress. My body felt heavy. I hoped i would stay asleep through the night this time and wake up not needing 4 Americanos to start the day. I felt a vibration through my bed and poked my head up from my pillow.

I guess im free

Dumbass

I immediately saved her number.

Cool

Slut

I could feel a smile start to form on my lips and i shoved my face back into my pillow. If i suffocated myself enough i’d end my misery. I wouldn't need to wait for my heart stop beating so fast if i was dead. Minutes passed by and there wasn’t another message. I waited just a bit longer, until my eyelids felt heavy and i dove deep into the void.

The void was sometimes peaceful but it never really lasted long. There were times where it shifted into an ocean and made me choke on the waters of my mental distress. Other times it was a sterile room, bright and menacing. It housed my body on a slab that couldn't move, my mouth wired shut and my inability to scream permeating my mind until all i did was panic. The worst of times it was a monster that sucked me back into a realm of corrupted childhood innocence and i could never escape the horrors of being chased. It felt so stupid that i could do all this to myself but never had a way to stop it. The fear was overwhelming, creeping through each nerve until all that was left was the suffocating silence and the streaks of tears on my cheeks that smothered me in emotions that were usually locked away and buried under time and ignorance. I was fading into a forgotten mess and still trying to claw my way up, reaching for absolutely anything that could pull me out.

“Hello?....Johnny?”

I gasped as my body yanked upright. My room was stuffy and heated. My sheets stuck to my sweat drenched body, clinging like a second skin. I looked down at my hands that were slowly coming into view as i blinked away tears.

“Johnny???”

I looked around in the darkness of my room. I had no idea where that voice was coming from. Was i just imagining things? Was i even actually awake? I spotted my phone, the screen glowing as it showed an ongoing call to Eri. I picked it up, trying to even out my breath. “H-hello?”

“Dude, its like 4am. Why are you calling me?” she sounded groggy and irritated.

“So-sorry. I uh...i think i might've rolled over onto my phone and dialed you. Didn't mean to wake you.”

“You sound out of breath. Did you call me while you're fucking someone?!”

“No...seriously i’m not. I-i-i gotta go.” I hung up instantly, not wanting to dwell in my weakness. I didn't need her to know about my suffocating anxiety forced night terrors. I didn't need anyone to know about those. I wasn't sure if i rolled over onto my phone or picked it up and dialed her in my sleep. I assumed i had done it more so on accident. Who knows how much thrashing i did this time. I laid back down, kicking off the sticky blankets and instead focusing on the dozens of messages i had missed in the group chat since i had fallen asleep.

--

The Boys Group Chat

Jae: the king has been bested lol

Taeyong: ohhh shit what happened now?

Jae: the one night stand turned into another fuck

Ten: wait he fucked eri again????

Jae: 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Jae: yup

Ten: holy shit

Taeyong: holy shit is right

Taeyong: thats like...

Taeyong: i mean hes never done that

Jae: not since we became friends

Jae: its been like 2 yrs since we met too

Ten: oh how the mighty have fallen

Johnny: can yall not???

Johnny: like i can literally read everything youre sending

Johnny: i havent fallen anywhere

Ten: hell yeah you have. Youre literally trapped now

Johnny: im not fucking trapped. Its done and over with. Were not gonna fuck again

Yuta: ok bro whatever u say tbh

Johnny: get out of here yuta

Yuta: 👅👅👅👅👅👅

Taeyong: dont listen to them. Ten and yuta drool over her every time she comes near them. Theyre like addicted or something

Taeil: ive seen you commenting a few times on her ig ty. Seems like theyre not the only ones addicted

Taeyong: ive literally just liked a few of her posts! So fucking what? That doesnt mean anything!

Taeil: you were literally staring at her at the party

Taeyong: yeah because you were trying to do your innocent boy schtick!

Ten: ty no matter how much you want to deny it you want her too

Johnny: shes literally not that great. I was just horny today after class. Yall need to chill

Jae: ok but if you hook up with her a third time then we know ur for sure whipped

Johnny: fucking choke. Pls.

Yuta: once you get used to her she aint so bad

Johnny: im cool. Trust.

Ten: hes too vanilla for her lolol

Johnny: fuck off. At least i dont have to like strangle myself to get off

Ten: awww chokings fun j-suh. Im surprised she hasnt asked you to do it yet

Johnny: well i mean like

Johnny: she kinda leaned into my hand a bit

Johnny: on saturday i mean. But it was weird so i just moved it

Ten: lmaooooo pussy

Yuta: dude just do it. She just gets this look in her eyes and its fucking insane

Jae: can yall not right now? Im about to puke

Taeil: im sure shes fine having normal sex. You act like every waking moment with her has to be kinky

Johnny: i havent had any complaints yet either

Taeil: yet? As in youre actually planning for another time? Lol

Johnny: GOOD NIGHT ASSHOLES

ten: #whipped

Yuta: #johnnyiserisbitch

Jae: then what does that make u two?

Yuta: her fuckin doms, dumbass 😂😂😂

Jae: what does that even mean????

Taeyong: even i know what that means jae damn. How dumb are you?

Jae: its just weird! Idk!

Yuta: it means when ten and i fuck her we control everything about her

Taeil: jfc

Ten: its a gift what can i say

(Downloading picture)

Johnny: Yuta are you fucking serious rn bro?

Taeil: Did you really take a picture of her tied up and gagged?

Yuta: lmao yeah. why fckn not? its hot

Johnny: how many pics of her do you have?

Yuta: lol so fucking many

Ten: ive got videos too 😏😏

Yuta: i mean theyre all up for grabs in case you want em 😜

Taeil: dont you think you shouldn't be sending those without her permission?

Yuta: i can dm u them

Taeil: yeah tbh

Taeyoung: youre just as bad as everyone else

Taeil: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Johnny: cut it out

Ten: boo yall are no fun at all

Yuta: anyway just dont fuck her again or else ull get trapped

Johnny: like you two are?

Ten: guilty tbh

Yuta: mood

Jae: yall need to sleep

Jae: asap

Jae: and stop bugging me

Taeil: mute the damn chat duh

Johnny: i gotta get back to bed too

Johnny: morning shift tomorrow

Taeyong: wack but same

Taeyong: ill see you guys

Ten: nighty nighty tae tae😚😚😚

Jae: ten ur gay is showing. No homo

Ten: literally all the homo. Anyway tell us again if you fuck eri

Ten: and ill let you know what happens on thursday ;)

Johnny: id rather not know and not fuck her again if ur gonna touch her

Taeil: i mean u basically already have so….

Johnny: shut up

Yuta: 😂😂😂😂

Yuta: dumbass

Taeil: im dipping out but ill let you guys know if she comes to the library ✌👅

Jae: eww dont talk about that

Taeyong: stop being such a kid and just go down on her

Johnny: off limits for damn sure

Ten: i'm telling you she wont keep you around if you dont

Johnny: good lets keep it that way