#maybe the god sending me a message is the algorithm

[thefage]

Being pagan and also really into psychology in the 21st century is really fun, because I find myself questioning reccurring themes in my life and asking myself if this is some sort of sign from the gods or if I have just been heavily influenced by the things I've seen online.

[kabr0ztrousers]

I fucking love when you do Portals, if you’re not bored already with this topic may i ask another? i’ll be waiting in your queue🥰🫦

Kabr0z Writes episode 92: Communion

Find the rest of the Kabr0z Writes anthology here!

CWs: Portals; freeuse; CNC; religious mentions and ceremony; public sex; exhibitionism;

A/N: I was actually struggling for inspiration today... Whatever would I do to make sure I'm not retreading old ground. Thankfully the algorithm came to my rescue while scrolling for inspiration. Is it blasphemy? It's certainly not respectful.

########################################

These were rapidly becoming your favourite underwear. After the coffee shop? Then that "issue" with tuning them between connections? Best sex of your life. The only issue is, after all that, however would you top it?

That's the question that plagued you as you walked into town. You were wearing your portal undies, because of course you were, but what can a girl do to transgress some social boundaries on a Sunday morning?

Wait. It's a Sunday. The beauty of rural Wales is the massive proportion of churches to people. You barely had to walk half a mile and you found one. Open doors, organ softly playing as the occasional person slid through the front room to the main church. A quick selfie, posted to just the right website along with a freshly-generated session code. A tap, a swipe, and the app locked. Four hours on the clock, that's long enough for a church... Session? Worship? You wondered what the actual verb for attending church is as you took a pew and the bloke in the robe took the pulpit.

God he was boring. Something Jesus, something heaven, something repentance. You were just about to get up and leave when it started. The metal disc in your underwear buzzed insistently, then the portal opened.

For a moment, nothing happened. Cool air passed over your pussy, before being replaced with hot breath. A finger traced your entrance as you sat there, trying not to show off that something was interfering with you. The soft touch was easy to pass off. Sure, whoever this was felt good, but after what you're used to with these, this wasn't hard to hide.

What was harder was when the finger pushed in. Maybe the setting was getting you more hot and bothered than you thought, or maybe you just needed this. The gasp was hard to swallow, especially as another two fingers joined in. The three fingers filled you, turning and angling themselves in ways no lover would be able to without a magic portal fleshlight on the other end. You pulled your phone out of your skirt pocket to check the app, who's connected?

Who else. It's WolfDaddy again. You put the phone back before anyone spotted you. At least, you hoped you did. The sounds of him stirring your cunt were soft, almost drowned out by the droning cleric as he went on and on. He was saying something about interpretation, how sins change over time so some things that might have been sins once, aren't now.

Those fingers curled inside you. You felt yourself blush as you suppressed a twitch in your legs. This was still probably a sin.

You clenched your cunt against those fingers, gently pulsing it to try and send him a message: "fuck me already"

His fingers kept hard at work, rubbing and stroking as your body fought you, trying to gasp and moan, whine and wriggle at the invading digits. You couldn't. All you could do was sit there and drip, feeling your juices flow from you in rivers. He brought you to the very edge, then stopped. The fingers pulled out just as you threatened to crest the peak, letting you slide back down for a minute or two before pushing again. If you got closer, he'd leave you for longer. If he took a little while, you'd get the next edge a little sooner.

You ached so badly by the time the priest was done lecturing. The rest of the church got up and into the aisle, but they weren't leaving. You half-remembered something about sacraments? Eating the body and drinking the blood of God to get closer to him or something?

Sounds kinky.

You got up and joined near the back of the line. The fingers felt you move and withdrew, letting your pussy squeeze in vain. A blunt tip replaced them, pressing gently into you. The first inch slid in, fully hard and leaking that lupine precum all over you. Then he pulled out. Over and over you'd get just enough to get excited, but not enough to get you off. Your whole lower body hurt now. The constant teasing of your leaking, drooling hole was taking its toll on you.

You reached the front of the church. Kneeling in a line before the altar. Maybe kneeling made your body move a certain way? Maybe he could just tell you weren't upright any more. Either way, it earned you another inch. You clenched again, trying to keep a steady rhythm to encourage him. You got another inch. Then another, then another.

The priest was moving down the line. First a small biscuity thing, then a sip from a jewelled cup. One by one the other churchgoers were seen to. Whoever WolfDaddy is, he had a good handle on how long this took.

Six people to go. He fucked you harder. Cock pushing up to the very edge of your cervix. Five people, a pair of fingers joined in, rubbing your clit as you began to squirm. Four, the cock was faster now, hammering into you as the lupine on the other end of the portal rewarded you. Three, you bit your lip. The feeling of climax building in you, coming towards you hard and fast as you dug your nails into your palm

Two, the cock hilted into you. You could feel the knot starting to inflate. One, cum spurted forth, the cock throbbing and twitching as jet after jet flooded into you.

Just you left now.

The pastor said something, you opened your mouth, feeling your eyes want to roll back in your head as you begged a present from church.

"Take this, my body" A flavourless wafer landed on your tongue

"And this, my blood" a sip of acid-tasting wine

"T-thank you father" you stuttered out, mouth watering and body burning. You felt it coming. You looked in his eyes. He could tell. You could see he could tell. You suppressed a scream as you fell off the cliff.

You clenched every muscle to try and stop yourself shaking, tried to suppress a scream of triumphant release, instead it emerged as a long squeaking wait as your jaw slammed shut around it. Your eyes rolled, defocusing until there were two vicars in front of you, then back to one, then two again.

There's no way he didn't see as cum started to leak from you. No way he didn't notice as the portal cut off how suddenly there was a damp puddle where a worshipper was so recently sat. You could smell the cum on you, dripping from your oozing cunt.

You took a seat on the pews again. Reassuring wood to lend you stability. The church cleared. You saw the vicar step into a booth at the other end of the church. Dark wood and varnished to within an inch of its life.

You walked into the other side. A wickerwork screen and a small slot were between you and the man you'd just came in front of.

"F-forgive me father, for I have sinned"

Who knows, you might get more fun out of this yet

#########################################

Never fear about requesting a portal fic from me. Easily one of my favourite kinks of all time.

Especially when I get to couple it with monster cocks

[the-most-humble-blog]

I SEE YOU. BUT JUST DON’T.

A Blacksite Literature™ Transmission for the Ones Who Thought I Wouldn’t Respond

---

I see you.

But just don’t.

Not because you’re beneath me.

But because if I turned toward you with the full weight of my wrath —

you’d disintegrate before the reply even posted.

I don’t respond.

Because when I do, the algorithm pauses.

Because when I do, someone logs off permanently.

Not blocked.

Undone.

By language.

By presence.

By me.

---

You think I don’t clap back because you “got me.”

No.

I don’t clap back because what I say becomes timeline law.

And your insult?

It wasn’t worth writing into scripture.

But let me leave a warning — not a message, a scar:

> No one on here wields lightning from the blood of your ancestors.

No one but me.

No one remembers the original pact —

That blood was meant to be spilled for children,

That rage was meant to terrify demons,

Not be mocked in comments by beige minds who never created anything but digital clutter.

---

You made fun of someone once.

Dismissed them.

Told them they’d never be enough.

Maybe they cried.

Maybe they tried to die.

> And that’s when I was summoned.

They didn’t know what they were doing.

They didn’t have to.

> The rage came anyway.

---

Because I am what happens when a polymath with variant cognition

dies mentally over and over

until language reanimates as weaponry.

I am what happens

when the specter in your peripheral vision

becomes real —

not when you stare,

but when you blink.

You looked.

And I was already at your neck.

Smiling.

Faux smile, of course.

It’s the one I save before annihilation.

---

If I came at you directly —

your grandmother would’ve prayed she took that hanger

and offered your bloodline to the gods

instead of birthing your father into this world of wolves.

She’d look up and see me walking in human skin

with her regret made manifest.

---

But I don’t.

I let you exist.

Because you’re not my purpose.

You’re the offering.

I let my followers —

The discarded.

The bullied.

The ignored, dismissed, silenced, and told they would never matter —

witness what happens

when the god of literary vengeance

finds the scent of what nearly killed them.

---

You were the hand that shoved them down.

I am the force that rises in response.

You don’t get a paragraph.

You get the blood of my pen on your face.

And you’ll never know what line did it.

Because I don’t aim.

I detonate.

---

> Reblog your insults.

Send your little threads.

Call me names.

Report me.

Whisper.

Mock.

Screenshot.

Stitch.

Sew.

Lie.

Do it all.

> You were seen.

And I’m still not impressed.

---

Because if your grandmother succeeded?

If she’d done what she knew she should’ve done?

> You wouldn’t be here.

And neither would your arrogance.

But she didn’t.

And so you’re my responsibility now.

---

Your god?

> He’ll smile.

Not at your prayers.

Not at your defense.

But because he remembers

what kind of wrath he gave me permission to carry.

And when you see that post —

The one you know is about you,

but I never tagged,

never @’d,

never acknowledged?

> That’s your punishment.

Because I made everyone else see it too.

---

You wanted a war?

> You got a monument instead.

Built in silence.

Signed in cadence.

And sealed with your irrelevance.

---

[thephonemenarentreal]

Stupid idea I had while in the shower ((Where all unhinged ideas are born...))

OCs nicknames for their contacts on their phones and last message they sent to each contact. Can do it if you want to! Just doing it for some giggles, featuring other people's OCs as well <3

Some entries feature the OCs of @tabieeee @pughat @lens-guy-art @that-other-dead-person for some fun!

PHONE CONTACTS BELOW THE CUT! (not all my OCs, just a few. The Para one is sad baby corner.)

CIVIC'S PHONE (List of five most recent contacts with last message) SUPERVISOR JAGOFF (Paralipsis) I'm not a romantic soul and all, but think you better apologize for that one, just saying. VENU (Venustas belongs to @pughat ) That's a well made model there! Like how you handled the supports to give it a very stable base before building the more creative design on top. Would love to see a step by step for that one for sure! TREM (Tremolo) I am denying your construction request. Reason? Just no. I ain't got the time to sort out all the damn details of why what you want to build is the stupidest bullshit I've seen in a looooong time. KID (Hubble) If any messages come in from the cameraman headquarters, I am unable to take calls as I am building tunnels for rocket launch exhaust and you'll pass on the reminder to call back to Mr. Biggs. He won't remember to tell me. Then I don't have to answer. OPT (Optical belongs to @tabieeee ) For the last time, I don't WORK at the main base and am NOT hauling ass back to fix the hole in the hangar ceiling. That's what the new chief civil engineer's job. I don't care if this is the tenth time they fixed it. Maybe you should train the titan in home repair projects cuz I ain't coming back. You call me one more time and I'm blocking you, I swear. <Contact was blocked a day later>

-------------------------------------------- MEDIC'S PHONE (List of five most recent contacts with last message) MS. CAMMIE (Belongs to @lens-guy-art ) Right is doing all right, but I can tell he misses you a lot. Would like to arrange with you the best way to get him back home else my supervisor might just throw him in your window which I'm trying to avoid... HUBBLE Why would a phoneman hover? It sounds cool and all, but when you think of phones, they don't really hover. Maybe they just use an algorithm to make everyone doom scroll though lol

BIG BROTHER It is okay here. Just adjusting and all. Wish I could be there with all of you though on the frontlines doing my part and making sure you are all right. PARALIPSIS I don't really want to talk right now, if that's okay. MS. WHISTLE ( @tabieeee ) You wouldn't happen to know of like, any songs that Tremolo and the Titan used to listen to together? I'm trying to find small things to help with the whole...titanphobia...

---------------------------------------------------------------------- PRATTLE AND TATTLE SHARED PHONE (because they both need to be in the know for gossip)

CALL THE MEDIC! (Medic) Please help. Paralipsis is trying to put Prattle in the garbage disposal again!!

HUBBLE BUBBLE (Hubble) Tell high command we got buried in a canyon and there is no finding us now.

STEEL DAD (Civic) If you get this message, thank god for the one bar of reception we got for a single moment. We are kind of lost in the mountains. Send help. Pretty sure there is a cougar out here that just really wants to eat the Chief Engineer or we really are pissing off skibidi bigfoot or something. :Sobbing face emoji:

TITAN BRO (Titan Cameraman) It is simple: Just get a kind of large glass jar and when he's hovering around, you catch him like a grumpy lightning bug! Then you bring him out to the camping trip! It will be fine! We can bond over the campfire, relax, and hunt bigfoot. Just, you know, remember to mark our location in case you have to leave so you can find us again haha! --- Can you come get us? --- Oh god, you really did forget where we were. Titan Bro! You had ONE job!

LORD GRUMPTICUS THE OVERWORKED (Optical belongs to @tabieeee ) If someone were to ask what you were doing this weekend, what would the answer be, on a scale of one to ten, one being you might take a five minute microbreak to ten being all work and no play makes Optical a burnt out engiee? <<CONTACT BLOCKED THEM IMMEDIATELY>>

-------------------------------------------------------------------- TREMOLO'S PHONE MEU GRAND AMOR (Mr. Biggs) A reminder to let you know I love you so much my big beautiful strong man. I saw the sunset and it was only you, rising out of bed <3 <3 <3 HOMEM DA PONTE (Civic) I am disappointed you do not understand the genius of my giant fly swatter trap to smash the Titan Speakerman. Appalled! I will not speak to you for the remainder of the day!

GATINHO (Right belongs to @pughat ) Remember that fear is the mind worm and the enemy of the rainbows. Also combine your knives with a sandal. It gives you advantage in emotional damage. APITO FILHA (Whistle belongs to @tabieeee ) Heard you got your name on some super fancy new invention and wanted to congratulate you, apito filha! Most excellent! You make everyone proud! Now just invent something to perfectly cook things in the microwave so they aren't cold and miserable in the middle and you shall be given a real reward I think!

PEQUENA CÂMERA (Medic) That song you played. Where did you hear it? Not that it was a bad song just...has been a while since I bothered to listen to it. --------------------------------------------------------------- FORTISSIMO AND PIANISSIMO'S PHONE

HUBBLE FRIEND <<A meme picture of the Titan Cameraman with a thumbs down that says "Then perish">> We stole the Titan's shoe laces. Very big. Size six millions.

NO FACE (Perditus belongs to @that-other-dead-person ) Do you also take socks? Are there many lost socks in your dimension? We are missing a lot of socks after laundry day.....

SPIDER LADY ( Puppets belongs to @that-other-dead-person ) What was the spider lady looking for in all the silly files? Was it something fun to do? Maybe we know where the file is!

TREMMY <<A rickroll meme was sent>>

PRATTLE AND TATTLE <<A meme picture of a racoon looking like it is plotting>> We are listening to this plot c:

------------------------------------------------------------------------

PARALIPSIS'S PHONE

BIGGLY BIGGS Get over to my office right now. Bring the mop and clean it up. Don't tell anyone what you saw. It is just spilled...oil or something. Not my blood or some shit or vomit.

Don't wake me up if I'm dying on the couch. My head is killing me.

ULTRA PRIME ALPHA BIG CHIEF SWINGING WRENCH PARA ONE ( Parallax belongs to @tabieeee ) (Message written then erased before sending) I'm not fucking okay. My life is a joke and I hate myself and hate him and myself and him and- (Message written then erased before sending) He told you to text me because he knows I'm not all right! He is in my head, we are always in each other's heads. He already knows and making you ask, but already he could say something but- (Message written then erased before sending) I'm not good and I don't know what to do or how to say it. I don't know what to do. Why is it so hard to just ask for- ((Message sent) Of course I'm fine, Para One. Why the hell wouldn't I be? Watching soap operas and letting my motherboard vaporize as always. Stop your worrying already...the Titan TVman probably just remembered I existed and has to pretend to care for a moment. Usual tyrannical titan leader shit.

AMAZON BUT ILLEGAL (Mr. Vector) I'm not in the mood for your bullshit comments and having a giggle at my fucking expense. Just send me something strong. I don't want to feel anything right now. And make it fast, got it?

PEST <3 (Medic) (Message written then erased before sending) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say all that or hurt you. I don't even know how to fix any of this. (Message written then erased before sending) I don't want to hurt you. I care about you, more than I've cared about anyone else and I want to be what you need, but- (Message sent) Okay.

NEW ROCKET GUY (Lunokhod belongs to @pughat ) You're hired. Just show up and someone will show you around to the whole rocket launching lab or whatever. No team yet so you just got to do it on your own. Just shoot rockets and send whatever data to HQ so they stop bitching at me.

[orchidvioletindigo]

Anyway what I was gonna write on desktop before the Tumblr site broke so bad it scared me out of using it again is that I had it pointed out to me recently (cannot remember where or by whom unfortunately) that a lot of the time when we open our phones, we aren't doing so with any specific goal in mind, we're just letting the algorithm show us whatever it wants and whittle away our time. Or in the case of Discord, Tumblr, and YouTube, passively looking at whatever content and users we have chosen to put on our feeds that escape those platforms' often discriminatory moderation rules and practices.

And that revelation is fixing my brain a bit because now when I go to unlock my phone, I'm pausing and asking myself why I'm doing it.

Is there a specific thing I'm actively looking to accomplish? A message I need to send, a post to make, something I want to look up, a donation or purchase to put in, an appointment or time off request to schedule.

If not, is there a more general but still somewhat targeted goal here? Do I want to find funny posts to laugh at and share with my fiancée and friends, do I want to watch music videos by new artists, do I want to check in on how the folks in my groupchat are doing and banter with them?

If the answer is still no, I can identify that I'm reaching for my phone as a compulsive time- and attention-eating habit, and then I can stop and ask myself if there's something I'd rather be doing with this time instead.

Often there is – there's a lot of stuff I want to do in my life! But when there isn't, when I'm just bored sitting around waiting for the next thing to happen, I can still choose to use that time to people watch (and maybe socialize a bit with the folks around me!) or to just think about stuff off in my own head, projects or plans or challenges or silly little fantasies.

I have found this to be much more helpful than most messaging about doomscrolling and dopamine addiction and oh my God you need to get off your phone or your brain will melt because it's not like a hard, panicky mandate, it's just being more aware of what I'm doing and more present in my decision-making. I can choose to spend time on my phone, but I can make that a conscious decision.

[httpknjoon]

proof, they say | ksj

plot | Every proof that random people took just to prove your relationship.

words | 2.2k+

genres | humor/crack, fluff, actors!au

pairing | actor!jin x famous!reader

note | usernames used in the fic are all fictional. this "thread" is briefly mentioned in lie detector test. I was second-guessing if I should post this for a while. now, I am posting it before the finale! I have more proofs but I chose not to put it here anymore! if you want to read more proofs, send me an ask and I'll gladly reply with it. enjoy reading!

main masterlist | drabble series

Sometime in 2021, Twitter user @/bluemoon04 posted a thread of tweets, which later became one of the most essential posts in the YN-JIN fandom. It was published just weeks later after Jin’s Lie Detector Test video from Vanity Fair and it gets an update every time someone gets more proof of The A-Listers’ real relationship.

As of December 2022, the thread has almost eighty-nine thousand likes and thirty thousand and four hundred plus retweets and requotes. The proofs posted can be hit or miss. But user bluemoon04 shares it anyway and lets the others share their thoughts about it. Others can also submit their own proofs to the account through direct message.

Proof no. 1: [THAT TUMBLR POST IN JANUARY 2019]

behind the scenes...

A twenty-second video was posted on Tumblr sometime in the last quarter of 2019 by a newly-made account. The post only had three tags: #YN, #JIN, and #YNJIN. The algorithm worked and published the video in everyone’s feed. It received a thousand notes by the twenty-four-hour mark. It also reached other social media sites. Mostly, Twitter.

Fans— even the local audience is in awe after watching the video. What’s in it? You might wonder.

It’s just you and Jin sitting on a bench under a light post on a dark night in a lakeside park. It was seemingly taken during the production of Maybe Yes, Maybe No. It was a crowded place with the crew and staff members walking around to do their job while the actors wait on the side.  Amidst the busy background, you and Jin can be seen enjoying ice cream on cones as you chat, inaudibly.

It looked like you two were busy in your own world while the crew members carry stuff around the set. Jin said something that made you laugh hard.

“God! That was terrible!” you told him before laughing at whatever Jin said.

“You loved it!” he replied.

Those were the only audible dialogue from the clip. You two continued talking as you eat the cold treat. And based on everyone who saw the video, Jin can melt– not just the ice cream– but also you with how he stared at you intently while you tell your story. You then paused when you felt the weight of his stare, your eyebrows raised. He chuckled, shaking his head, before wiping the ice cream on the corner of your lips with his thumb. The video ended when a crew member walked up to you two.

Proof no. 2: [JIN SIGHTINGS IN LESS LIKELY PLACES pt. 1]

@/multifan0303: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD MY MOM JUST SENT ME THIS 

The tweet was originally posted in January 2020. The first picture was Jin’s signature on a piece of paper. For the second and last one, there’s a picture of the original poster’s mom with the actor. It’s not new for Jin to take pictures with fans he is out in public. But what made the whole fandom crazy about it is it was taken in a pet store and he was holding a basket full of cat food and supplies.

replying to @/multifan0303

- @/multifan0303: my mom doesn’t know who he is. but she saw her other customer that time asking for a picture with him so she asked for a picture and autograph too HDJSKLJFKDSLGKLJFDS

– @/greenpr4da: look at that basket

— @/v3rsaceyn: and you’re telling me jin hates cats????

—- @/franchiecat: he doesn’t even have a cat 😭

Proof no. 3 [LIVING TOGETHER ALLEGATIONS PT. 1]

During the first lockdown during the pandemic in 2020, everyone began suspecting about you and Jin living together in a house in Connecticut. With a lot of free time, the media managed to find a real estate posted online located in the said state that apparently looked like the house you were rumored to be living together in.

con mi hija 🌸

You captioned it in one of your Instagram posts in 2020. It was a selfie of you with Francheskat in your backyard. The picture was focused on your pet and only half of your face can be seen. A wall from your house can also be seen, showing that your home does have a stone exterior. Since you are more active on social media than Jin, your eagle-eyed fans also spotted in a different picture that you also have the identical Victorian lamp that the actor had behind him during a virtual interview.

“Just tell us are you and Y/N living together?!” Donny asked jokingly during an online fundraiser event with you, Jin, and other friends.

Jin shakes his head, laughing, “We’re not.”

“We do!” you huffed dramatically. “No one told me this man doesn’t know how to wash his laundry!”

Other participants laughed at your exaggerated and sarcastic tone. That was the first time you two acknowledged the gossip publicly and it was definitely not the last. You acknowledged it again when you greeted him on his birthday.

Proof no. 4: [BUB]

Both supporters and the press caught on Jin slipping his endearment for you during events with you back in 2021. Fans made video compilations and listed down the times your co-actor called you ‘bub’ on numerous occasions. Sometimes it was hushed, sometimes it felt like it just slipped from his lips. Jin finally addressed it when W Magazine brought up the topic during a magazine cover with you.

“Yeah, why do you call me that?” you turned your head to him, still in your look for the editorial shoot you two did.

Jin’s lips broke into a smile as he looked at you. He rested his chin on his palm when he answered, “It’s nothing really… It just slips out, bub”

As far as everyone witnessed from his whole career in Hollywood, you were the only co-worker Jin sometimes calls by a nickname. He never explained where it came from and was only questioned about it once.

Proof no.5: [THE TALE OF FRANCHESKAT]

“Yeah, that’s my lovely daughter, Francheskat.” you shared when Stephen Colbert brought up the picture of your pet.

“I heard she’s from an animal shelter in London. Is that right?” the host asked and you nodded from your seat.

“Yes! I visited a few shelters there during the production of my new film there and I was in awe when I first met her!”

“Oh, so you adopted her right away from that moment?”

“I didn’t…” you shook your head. “I was too busy and I was only in London for less than two weeks. My schedule was jampacked, and I never got to drop by the shelter again.”

“But I have a friend who saw how much I want to have this beautiful cat and surprised me like a month later after I got back in LA. It was so unexpected, I cried.” you laughed.

That interview was in 2017, months before the release of your first movie with Jin. Francheskat was the main reason why you made an Instagram account again after deactivating your old account back in 2016. Based on your fans’ calculations, you recently just finished filming Cornelia Street when you began posting about your cat. And Jin was seen in London around the same time you shot your own scenes there.

These facts strengthen your fans’ belief that Jin was the friend you were talking about. Especially with how close your co-star is to your cat, even though he claims he isn’t a big fan of felines.

Proof no. 6 [Y/N SPOTTED IN LESS LIKELY EVENTS  PT.1]

“I don’t really celebrate any holidays.” you shared during an interview back in 2014. “I just spend those days like my other rest days except I send gifts to my friends.”

You have been living alone ever since you were emancipated from your father’s control. You usually sleep or work through Christmas and New Year’s eve or any other commonly big holiday, treating it as a normal day. You always find it exhausting to prepare for such events when you live alone. The only special event you celebrate is your mom’s or close friends’ birthdays. Your fans are aware of this fact and made sure to send you sweet greetings during holidays as you post pictures from your home. You were never spotted outside either by the press during these events.

@/DonnyNextDoor: happy thanksgiving from us!!

In the celebration of Thanksgiving Day back in 2021, Donny posted a photo of your circle of friends. You stood next to Bella Hadid, who was Donny’s girlfriend at the time. Next to you were Jin and your three other mutual friends.

@/daisiesandroses: omg yn holiday contents

Fans were happy to see you with friends during that time. They expected that you will post something for Christmas and New Year’s too. However, you only posted an Instagram story each, greeting everyone. Someone claimed they spotted you in New York for Times Square Ball but no pictures floated online.

Proof no. 7: [VERSACE ON THE FLOOR]

It has been known to everyone that you have always been a massive admirer of the luxury fashion brand, Versace. Donatella has been a great friend of yours ever since you became a brand ambassador for the said brand when you were 22. And even though you had contracts with other brands in the following years, you maintained a good relationship with her. You’ve also been invited to fashion week events and you always try to go if your tight schedule can accommodate it. You were even featured in Bruno Mars’ music video for his hit song, Versace On The Floor.

@/SE0KJINM00N: SOMEONE SEND ME THAT PHOTO HE DELETED IT!!

@/hellobubba: was that versace on that fucking floor or am i seeing things

@/peopleoncrnlstrt: LMAO he deleted the ig story

But sometime in 2019, Jin posted a picture in his Instagram Stories which he deleted less than two minutes later. The photo is simple. It was a picture of the latest book he read. He was holding it down, seemingly an innocent one. But if you travel your eyes to the upper corner of the image, even though the background’s a little blurry, a black piece of clothing can be seen. It was immediately recognizable due to the fact that it has the word Versace printed all over it. 

And since you were the closest person to him that everyone knows, the fans assumed it was yours. You were once seen a couple of years ago sporting a bikini top with the same design, just different colors. People searched online and found that there is, indeed, a Versace one-piece swimsuit with the exact design.

Although the photo was never talked about in public, that Versace mystery became an inside joke in the fandom.

Proof no. 8: [LIVING TOGETHER ALLEGATIONS PT. 2]

urfavecatlady started a live video. Watch it before it ends!

August 2020. You had a five-minute live on your Instagram account, simply just to chat with your fans while you were waiting for your cookies in the oven. It was short yet chaotic.

“Oh, I tried baking today! I saw an easy recipe online. I’ll share the link on Twitter later.” you answered a fan as you put down your phone. You sported a now-messy apron. The apron? It was a gift from Timmy. He learned I love ba–”“

“Ouch!”

Someone exclaimed in the background, followed by the noises of something falling on the ground. You paused and looked at whatever was behind your phone. Your eyes widened. But you tried to compose yourself as you look back at the camera.

“Francheskat jumped on some– on my stuff. Gotta go! I’ll update y’all with the cookies later. Bye!” your voice trailed off as you end the Instagram Live.

@/amymarchdefender: i think i heard someone during yn’s live

@/princessbubblegum: is she quarantining with someone???!?

Some fans claimed it was not Francheskat, but Jin. Although the mystery voice was not that audible, they claimed it was him. Others believed that maybe you are really going through lockdowns with someone who is not Jin. There are few people who believe that you really have a longtime secret partner, someone who is not in the same industry as you. Nonetheless, everyone never knew who it was.

The thread still receives updates from time to time even though you took a break and Jin is not really that active on social media. The owner of the tweet still gets submissions from various fans.

Now, October 2023. Jin hasn’t had any public appearances since his series premiere on HBO. He is still in for Waller-Bridge’s movie. You, on the other hand, were getting gossip that you will be having a cameo with Greta Gerwig’s Barbie. Some believed that you will be retiring or will take years to come back. Both of you two were not active on social media. Your last post in your Instagram feed was in August. And Jin’s was May.

But one of Hollywood's biggest celebrity gossip sources is the Instagram account, Deuxmoi, posted something that made a noise in your fandom.

Sent via form submission from Deuxmoi

Pseudonyms, Please: Cookie Monster

Email: heardit@the.gravevine

Subject: Everyone’s Fave Cat Lady

Message: A friend of mine works in one of the longest-running live television shows. They said that a prominent A-lister actress is returning in front of the cameras after taking a sudden break for more than a year. Her comeback will be announced next week! Watch out!

taglist rules

THE A-LISTERS TAGLIST

@jub-jub @yoontaethings @kissme-ornot @sleepy-daydreams @veronawrites @cuteipat @ratherbefangirling @babystarcandy-gcf @akirawhore @alpacaparkaseok @rjsmochii @lovesickbangtan @rapmonie2047 @btsiguess-kpop @angelarin @walkinganxiety0 @bloopkook @yoooonie @amara-mars @firesighgirl @zwiehe @hiii-priestess @lojocas @juju-227592 @singukieee @eshtravagent @canarystwin @petalsofink

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd​ @cixrosie​ @jksjx​ @embrace-themagic​ @buttvi​ @starbtslove​ @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @pixybear @miyukihoshi @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23

[floralbfs]

the fact that ive used whatsapp (literally like the only app i use to communicate) so little that when i went on the share screen it said i had no frequent chats......

[thebeeduo]

Ranboo: Do you want me to just reading random- Do you want me to just- I'm gonna just start texting you

Tubbo: Yeah, just start texting me random input on the space

Ranboo: *texts Tubbo*

Tubbo: "Microwave explode"? Yo, thank you. "This is awesome"? Ok, stop texting me now. You didn't even respond to my message I sent you this morning

Ranboo: That's 'cause I was asleep!

Tubbo: Yeah, but like.. *sigh* Maybe I should just go live on instagram

Ranboo: Eughhh!

Tubbo: What? Is that cringe?

Ranboo: Yes

Tubbo: Maybe I should just go live on TikTok

Ranboo: Ahhh! Ahhh!

Tubbo: Is that cringier? Is that- *laughs*

Ranboo: *laughs* You go "Is that cringe" to Instagram and your next one is TikTok

Tubbo: *laughs*

Ranboo: I can make fun of it 'cause that's where I was born

Tubbo: Pffft!

Ranboo: I was born there/on TikTok [?]

Tubbo: Do you ever look at someone and wonder what's going inside their head?

Ranboo: I was- I was born on TikTok [?]

Tubbo: *starts playing the piano* You gotta remember your roots

Tubbo: I want my grand piano back, electric piano is cringe

Ranboo: *coughs* [unintelligible]

Tubbo: He just- He just decides "Oh I'm going to spit my germs around the room"

Ranboo: Yep!

Tubbo: *giggles* Wow, wow. You're a bad- I suppose you're anti-vax as well while we're at it

Ranboo: I am literally- I am literally vaccinated

Tubbo: I'm not allowed to be vaccinated, leave me alone!

Ranboo: That's just a major L for you then

Tubbo: Ahhhh

Ranboo: You're/Keep on getting coughed on!

Tubbo: *starts to play the piano intensely*

Ranboo: That's what happens when you're not vaccinated, people will come up to you and cough

Tubbo: That is a terrible sentence. I despise everything about that sentence

Ranboo: *laughs*

Tubbo: *plays The Owl House theme song, then switches to City of Stars*

Ranboo: Ughhh

Tubbo: So..

Ranboo: Oh my gosh!

Tubbo: What?

Ranboo: I just found more food to order

Tubbo: Nooo! Oh my god, if I get one more Amazon box arrive at my door and it's like a 25 large sized bars of Rice Krispies treats or fucking those shitty cheese squares that you haven't even eaten I'm gonna lose it

Ranboo: It's ding dongs

Tubbo: What the fuck is a ding dong?! That sounds like slang for a dick! You're literally eating dick!

Ranboo: *laughs* I am not! Jesus Christ

Tubbo: Why!

Ranboo: That is so far from what it is

Tubbo: What is it with all this fucking BS American food! Twinkies? Oh yeah, let me just-

Ranboo: I didn't get those actually. I don't know where those came from

Tubbo: Where did the Twinkies come from!?

Ranboo: I'm gonna be entirely honest..

Tubbo: Where the fuck did they come from!?

Ranboo: ..I have no idea where those came from. I did not order- That is not what I ordered

Tubbo: Look, you've got your-you've got your Cheez-It's and your Twinkies and your fucking ding dongs. I'm gonna f- I'm gonna blow some shit up

Ranboo: Sorry, I'll make sure to order a plain cheese pizza the next time

Tubbo: Honestly, that would be so much- I'm actually- I've been really healthy. So far I've had a fruit pop for breakfast

Ranboo: That's good. I had.. *silence*

Tubbo: You haven't had breakfast yet

Ranboo: I haven't- I haven't eaten yet

Tubbo: You haven't eaten yet today, and your first meal of the day will be Taco Bell

Ranboo: No, it won't!

Tubbo: Will it not? Oh

Ranboo: Why do you think- Taco Bell doesn't even deliver here!

Tubbo: *sighs* Fair enough

Ranboo: Why would it- Why- Mkay..

Tubbo: American

Ranboo: I know that the algorithm on Amazon works too well because it was [unintelligible]

Tubbo: *starts playing City of Stars again* Oh no

Tubbo: City of staaars.. *laughs* That song- It kind of annoys me, I'll be honest

Ranboo: I'm looking at- I'm looking at the, um.. I'm looking at your- the Tubbo space hashtag and someone just sent this, like, chart of, like, eye colour but it is, like, the most low res thing that I have ever seen

Tubbo: But I don't know- I think my eyes change colour depending on what I'm wearing, I'll be honest. Is that weird? Because everyone on twitter asks me "Ah yes what is your eye colour" and I'm like "Uhh how the fuck am I supposed to know" and then

Ranboo: My eye colour is [?]

Tubbo: Then I went through a bunch of like- I went through a bunch of, uh.. like, old photos of me and they just change colour depending on how sunny it is, what I'm wearing.. like.. Yeah, so, I don't know

Ranboo: *laughs*

Tubbo: What?

Ranboo: Nothing

Tubbo: What?

Ranboo: *loudly typing* It's time to listen

Tubbo: Time to listen to what?

Ranboo: To my music, I'm just gonna listen to my music

Tubbo: You're not gonna listen to me? Listen to me. Stop dancing. Knock that off. Yo, keep your clothes on! Woah, why are you so- *laughs* sorry

Ranboo: Why do you do this!

Tubbo: 'Cause it's funny, 'cause there's no video

Ranboo: Why do you- why do you do this

Tubbo: and.. and there's no video

Ranboo: What did I- What did I ever do? Nothing

Tubbo: *laughs*

Tubbo: *reads something about chip shops?*

Tubbo: Why do people keep sending me, like, soviet bunnies as well? I don't wanna see bunnies from soviet Russia. What's with the soviet Russia bunnies?

Tubbo: Thoughts on him? Bill Cypher? Pretty fun loving lad- Why did you just mention me and write "awesome"?

Ranboo: I didn't- No, it's a response to a tweet

Tubbo: Oh

Tubbo: *sees Michael fan art* "Oink! Hello father" Oh, I see

Ranboo: Just buff Michael

Tubbo: Buff- *laughs* He went to prison from lack of parent supervision and he came out buff, oh no! Oh no! *laughs*

Ranboo: What do you mean lack of parent supervision? I'm gonna go brush my teeth

Tubbo: Oh ok.. Bye

[Video cuts directly to when Ranboo comes back]

Tubbo: Hello. You seem hollow. Your mother is here? Wait, I shouldn't have read that out. You just texted me that so I didn't read it- Ok, well.. She's here guys!

Ranboo: Ahhh! Why!

Tubbo: She's here!

Ranboo: There's a reason-

Tubbo: She's here! *laughs* Just thought I'd let you know! *laughs* She's raring to go! That's awfully exciting..

[Video cuts again to the next beeduo clip]

Tubbo: Guys, I want to- How does one get the- What is the max people that have been in a single space, like, ever?

Ranboo: I own the number two spot for that!

Tubbo: Do you? How many was it?

Ranboo: Yeah. It was during MCC, it was 36k I think

Tubbo: 36- guys, can we get 38k please?

Ranboo: *fakes being angry* Can't you let me have anything!? *laughs*

Tubbo: Wh- Ok, Mr. 100k subs, Jesus

Ranboo: I don't- I got that once

Tubbo: Twice

Ranboo: It was six times actually..

Tubbo: SIX TIMES!? Oh my god, ok..

Ranboo: Alright... Goodbye space people!

Tubbo: Bye!

Ranboo: Goodbye!

Tubbo: Bye! Leave

Ranboo: I'm leaving the U.K. actually

Tubbo: He's not

Ranboo: *laughs* I'm not.. Wouldn't that be just terrible?

Tubbo: You just said bye and left..

Ranboo: The whole time everyone thought that I was going in, like, October but then I actually just straight up just leave..

Tubbo: You wanna go home?

Ranboo: ..in the middle of August

Tubbo: You can just leave.. get out!

Ranboo: Ok..

Tubbo: Pffft

Ranboo: Bye!

Tubbo: Bye!

[Video cuts again to the next beeduo clip]

Ranboo: I'm back from the U.S.!

Tubbo: Oh, what did you forget?

Ranboo: My- my beloved locket

Tubbo: *mocks American Accent* and the AirPods *laughs*

Ranboo: Yes

Tubbo: Have you told them what you've called your AirPods? The name of them?

Ranboo: Oh yeah, no, it's because basically, right, if you put a slash and then an asterisk at the end of a word it will bleep it out, so, right, me of course being young I thought that was the funniest thing to have that. So whenever Siri said my name she would just go like "You [beep]" so I thought that was funny. So it's like beeping noise, yeah

Tubbo: Oh, I see. So is that why mine do that as well?

Ranboo: I guess so, yeah

Tubbo: Yeah

Ranboo: Yeah.. yeah..

Tubbo: I see.. So..

Ranboo: I'm gonna go now

Tubbo: Bye, again!

Ranboo: Bye! Back to the U.S. I go!

Tubbo: There's no "E" in Tubbo.. Just throwing it out there..

[mizgrownnonsense]

I have no children yet, but here’s what I’m thinking about kids and media:

0-5ish: No media, unless it’s together or a trusted adult is helping them pick and keeping an eye on duration. Maybe they have a little mp3 player for their favorite songs (music should be a human right)

Justification: I’ve watched so many toddlers fall down unboxing video rabbit holes on YouTube and it freaks me OUT. I want media to be part of our shared family culture, not a way to check out and go numb. I’m aware that this is a lot more work, and plan to put that work in.

5ish-8ish: There is now an iPad, with some age-appropriate streaming services for movies and shows and some (offline, obv) games Maybe some pre-downloaded favourites and home movies, too. No YouTube at all. The iPad does not have a passcode or time lock, so it isn’t a scarce resource, but we keep an eye on usage and encourage alternatives if they start zombie-ing.

Justification: At 5, kiddo should be able to practice regulating their own attention span and explore media choices more autonomously—within certain parameters. The kid-eating YouTube algorithm is still hard-banned, and there are no messaging/social media/online gaming options. This is about them exploring media independently from us, but not using technology as a conduit to other people just yet.

8-12ish: kiddo gets a phone for direct messaging/calling with friends and family ONLY. The older and dumber the phone the better. Some closed-circle social medias (like Marco Polo) ok. This phone will be checked by parents periodically (sorry) but always with advanced notice and a conversation about what we might be looking for and why.

Justification: This is a good age for texts from grandma/cousins and the ability for them to explore the world and be able to text/call back for help. Obviously, they’ll want to send goofy messages to their friends, too, and that’s great. However, I don’t want them to develop an “audience” yet, so social media is out, and I still want to keep an eye out on how people interact with them, working together to recognise and set boundaries around this kind of communication. Checking their phone is mainly to enforce which apps they use, since they’ll be encountering more social pressure to join social media (and defy rules) around that age. I won’t read my kid’s messages unless I have a concern about their or one of their contacts’ behavior, and if it comes to that, looking at their messages is something I’ll do WITH THEM. We’ll have a conversation about my concerns, what I’m looking for, and what to do about it together.

10-12ish: Some multiplayer games okay, but with oversight around who they interact with and guidance about how to navigate uncomfortable interactions. YouTube is finally available, but with conversation about the ideas they encounter there. I won’t like this, but I can’t keep them off Minecraft forever.

13 ish-17ish: Parental controls off their tech, and a baseline of phone autonomy: no check-ins unless something seems seriously wrong; all check-ins with conversation. Encourage kiddo to manage screentime within other responsibilities and goals, check in if screens become a numbing reflex. Only big rule: MAINTAIN ANONYMITY (no real name, selfies/ vlogging, or identifying details) in any open-form social media. Advise them to be aware of social media that gives them a sense of an “audience” and council them to set boundaries with how they interact with that idea (ie: you don’t owe strangers interactions or energy, you are allowed to make mistakes, you are allowed to change your mind, grow, and change. You do not need to have an opinion on everything, especially if you haven’t had time to think it over, and you can/should block anyone who makes you feel unsafe). Here, I’ll also inform them about para-social relationships and how to navigate those.

Justification: god, I wish the adults in my life at that age told me the same. I cannot tell you how I wince when my full name still pulls up deviant art posts from my teen years on google searches. I have become so much kinder to myself since I let go the idea that I owe a vague internet audience my take on every new thing. Even if the internet wasn’t full of people who could exploit your personal information to harm you (for whatever reason), it does you no service whatsoever to put your most vulnerable developmental years under a public spotlight.

18: Full technology autonomy. Hopefully I’ve prepared kiddo to navigate it well, and left the door open to come to me if they ever need more help/guidance. Good luck, kiddo.

Posting for peer review: what do y’all think?

[dumbdomb]

I think if you censor terms they don't show up in searches so your blog wouldn't show up for those searching "Detrans kink" if you changed it to detr*ns kink. I don't want to send an ask without any solid suggestions so maybe that and potentially rearranging the wording to "NO DETR*NS KINK BLOGS" or something because it currently shows the title of your blog in an internet tab as "DETRANS KINK BLOG" so it's sort of more asociating your blog with the search terms. I think the person was trying to explain why using that language uncensored is bringing you more attention from the people you specifically don't want.

rearranging the wording to "no detrans kink blogs" bc adding the word "blog" at the end would prevent the rest from being picked up as keywords? really? is that how the algorithms work now? when did that change happen bc obviously i've missed something if that's the case... this is my current description and pinned (focusing only on one kink).

this was what i had up BEFORE getting lots of interaction from detrans kink blogs... and is still on my pinned rn:

when tags get wiped (entire tag search results being hidden, deleted) people often use different spellings and such to avoid censors and allow other users to continue finding their posts. tags are how we used to do things: you could post whatever and it wouldn't be visible to anyone who wasn't following you, or on your blog, unless they saw it in a specific tag they themselves were intentionally searching. many people would tell new users to stop tagging things with hate, especially characters, and use "anti-character name" instead. it has been a huge disservice to the site to make ANY word able to be picked up by the search algorithm and show up in the results as a keyword, even without using any tags (imho).

not to reminisce too much, but we could write posts and not tag things and only our followers and stalkers (what i guess is now called lurkers) would see it. many personal posts would usually be a period punctuation mark and entire rants and venting or info dumping in the tags, and it wouldn't show up in ANY search unless someone was specifically searching tags for that exactly worded phrase. (god, i miss tags being functional so much!!!) that's also why we still generally have a culture of telling people not to write on posts and to "keep it in the tags" instead.

anyway, people self censor to actually continue engaging with a group or community here, so censoring my dni wouldn't be effective. also fyi, censoring things in general use does not allow people to block those tags or posts they want to avoid from showing up (which is another reason why the tagging system worked and was largely controlled and maintained by actual users. sesta fosta really fucked us over big time, imo). a common example of this is like tagging a gif as "flashing gif" which is easy for lots of people to avoid without ever seeing your post, compared to "f145h1ng g1f" which was likely not on a photo sensitive person's blocked tag list and they would only find out after seeing your post on someone else's blog or on their dash.

so. if having a normal, calmly stated dni doesn't work, and having a censored or unusually written dni doesn't work, and typing in all caps everywhere i can like a blaring visual alarm to not interact also doesn't work... then like... are detrans kink blogs incapable of understanding consent and respecting boundaries? but fr, bc i've honestly tried this so many times and my efforts only increased as a RESPONSE to the constant messages i was receiving... why is that on me? is it the way my blog is dressed or what... 🙄

silly commercial voiced psa:

are you a detrans kink blog bothered by my presence in search results bc so many detrans kink blogs have harassed me that now my blog shows up in your orbit? have you tried not harassing a blog that has your kinks listed in their dni? do you get frustrated about having to remake your blog all the time bc you keep harassing people? have you tried respecting other people's boundaries? i think maybe that'd be a good option. <3

also, it's more likely that i'm showing up bc a post of mine keeps getting liked and reblogged by, you guessed it, Detrans Kink Blogs!... i even changed the original post but none of these blogs ever Check The Source ™ 🤷🌸

also also, just for transparency, i don't report blogs. mostly bc i loathe having to block the same person twenty times but i am big on the "block, don't report." if a blog actually has something to be reported, it should not be done through this hell site but to actual gov people ☑

[deep sigh] and another thing... the only reason i have any dni at all is bc people will contact me and project their kinks or preferences onto me. if everyone was chill and respectful, i wouldn't even have detrans kink blogs in my dni. it wasn't on my list when i began this blog, but the more i posted about gender i began to get more attention from these blogs. so i'm really getting a vibe here... and i think that sub-group in the kink community needs to hold each other accountable or be aware that they're creating a safe space for abusers, transphobic and misogynistic people, and conservatives...

[thefanficmonster]

My Kind

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warning: Swearing

Genre: Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having been chosen by the gang to be a guest streamer on today’s stream of Among Us, it’s safe to say Y/N’s super excited but also a bit nervous. The whole of her anxiety gets lifted off her when she meets someone with the exact same vibe as hers - yeah you guessed it.

Requested by @monizzle96 Hi dear! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so terribly sorry it’s taken me so long to write and post it but here it finally is! I hope you come across it and read it and if so I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

This has to be the fiftieth time I’ve checked my setup in the past twenty four hours. But no, I’m definitely not nervous, what are you talking about. Pshhh. Nah, being nervous isn’t in my brand. Plus, what do I have to make me nervous - a group of famous streamers inviting me onto their stream to play Among Us with them because they enjoyed my own streams? Ok yeah, that’s a pretty good reason. Not gonna lie, I almost chucked my phone out of excitement when I received that DM from Toast, telling me they’d picked me to be their guest streamer for today’s date. My stomach was doing somersaults for a good forty-eight hours following that text and then the anxiety slowly started setting in fueled by the expectations they probably have of me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not inexperienced in the streaming field, I’ve been a streamer longer than some of the members of Toast’s streamer gang actually. But I never managed to garner that big of a following which I’m honestly quite ok with. I have a modest - ok, maybe larger than modest - following consisting of incredibly loyal fans which I will never stop being grateful for. They are all so respectable of me, my privacy and my boundaries. They know the main rules: no shit-talking in the chat or in any of my comment sections, no bashing other YouTubers in my comments/chat, and most definitely not asking for a face reveal. Fun fact: I didn’t even set up that last rule, they all just collectively know not to ask for it. 

I’ve been keeping my brand pretty low-key to avoid garnering some unwanted attention - some of which I’ve already experienced on certain social media platforms following the full body pictures I posted on there - face not visible of course. I tend to also have my webcam on, facing towards my hands working away on the keyboard sometimes when I stream. I don’t know why people obsess over faceless content creators’ hands, but I appreciate the enthusiasm - it also drives me to do a manicure every now and then which ain’t so bad, self-care and all that you know.

Now, back to the subject of my ridiculous nervousness.

You see, it has layers.

I’m nervous of ‘preforming’ underwhelmingly and I’m nervous of what my own fans will think of the person I will become during this stream. They know me as a super chill and laid-back person, which I am by the way, but they might think I’m putting on a show if I exhibit any nervous gestures/vocabulary. I highly doubt they would, but the possibility is not letting my mind rest. And now that it’s about ten minutes till the stream starts, I’m getting doing my best to calm my nerves.

They are all just people. You know they are super chill too. Just be yourself, that’s why they invited you, because you are yourself on all your streams. They liked you for your personality, humor, maybe even your gaming skills. So chill the hell out and be yourself, damn it!

Easier thought than put into action that’s for sure.

I start my stream five minutes early just so I can vibe with my viewers for a little while before I have to meet the gang. My fans always have a way of injecting me with confidence, they remind me of where I was when I started and how far I’ve come. How much I achieved when I thought I’d be nothing and no one, someone the algorithm would simply overlook. But then they entered my life and I entered theirs and it all became much better than I ever thought it would get to be. I rarely tell myself ‘good job’ for the milestones I’ve reached or the hard work I’ve put into my content, but that’s probably cause I orient myself based on that quote from the movie Whiplash: ‘There are no two words in the English language more harmful than good job’ - simply put, I’m never satisfied with what I do and I always strive to do better. My fans, however, make sure I don’t go overboard with it - always serving as a reminder that I’ve done plenty for myself and others. And that’s what makes an amazing fandom, one I consider family.

Whoa, when did those five minutes fly by?!

Ah shit, here we go. Deep breaths, Y/N you got this.

“Hello!“ I say as I enter the Discord call, subconsciously biting my lower lip, grateful the camera isn’t capturing it. However, I make a mental note to keep my hands steady cause that’s the one part of me people can actually see and the last thing I want is for them to see how much my fingers are trembling.

“Oh hi, Y/N!“ Toast is the first one to greet me, “Welcome to the stream! Thank you so much for accepting our invitation.“

“Thank you for having me and inviting me, Toast. This is a huge deal for me. You guys are basically YouTube legends, this is unreal to me.“ I reply, cringing immediately afterwards because of my fangirl rambling. Great way to make first impressions, Y/N. Bravo.

To be fair, they already have an impression of you. Quit stressing.

Aright, you’ve got a point, me.

“Oh please, we owe all that to our fans. We’re really nothing special. All streamers are almost completely alike, we all owe where we are to the people who helped us make it there - our fans. We’re no legends.“ Toast says, bringing a small smile to my face as well as a light pink blush to my cheeks, “And from what I’ve seen, you yourself have quite the following. And your fans seem to adore you.“

“And I absolutely adore them.“ I chuckle, “They mean the world to me. They are the reason I’m here today.”

“Then we have to give them a special thank you, don’t you think?“ The teasing, familiar giggle, widens my smile - it’s Rae, “Nice to meet you, Y/N! I’m Rae, and, no cap, I’m quite a fan of your content. No joke, I binged your entire series of Resident Evil 7 as soon as I found your channel when Toast said he’d invite you.“

This rattles me a bit. I can hardly believe it - am I really receiving a compliment from an A-list name in the streaming world? My fans must be hella proud of me right now. A quick glance at my chat confirms that they indeed are. That in and of itself fills me with joy and newfound confidence.

“Oh Gosh, thank you so much Rae! That means the world to me. You’re all so sweet.“ I reply, lifting my ice cold hands to cool down my burning cheeks, my lips spread into a grin, my stomach filled with butterflies.

“Oh please, we have some real savages around here.“ A male voice, seemingly Charlie’s scoffs, “Don’t overlook us please.“

“Wait, we do?“ A deep voice, one I immediately know the owner of speaks up, “Who? How come I don’t know about that?“

I can’t help bust snort, “Nice to meet you, Corpse. Sarcasm central, I see.”

He laughs, “Just returning it to where it’s due. Nice to meet you too, Y/N. Sick Outlast series, by the way.“

Ok, wait, I have two A-list streamers complimenting my content. Ok, I’m bound to crack open a few beers to celebrate later cause OH MY GOD.

“Thanks! I’m a horror junkie so I’d be lying if I said I haven’t binge watched all your story-times. Personal favorites are the deep web ones, they fascinate me.“

“Oh, you’re one of my kind even more than I expected, huh?“ He replies, the tone of his voice changing, raising a bit due to what I can only describe as excitement and enthusiasm. “I’ve had people tell me it’s twisted, but I really like seeing the lengths to which the fucked up human mind can go to. Like, the shit I’ve read is insane! Some stories I didn’t narrate cause I would’ve probably had my video taken down, it was that messed up.“

My eyes widen, sharing the same excitement at the thought of digging deeper into this phenomenon, “Careful, Corpse, you’re walking a dangerous line of tempting me to deep-dive on Reddit in search of those exact stories.”

“No need.“ Corpse says, his tone now taking up a bit of a cocky note, “I still got them all saved, I can send them to you no problem.“

“Please do! I seriously gotta read them now. If I can’t sleep afterwards, I’m blaming you, Corpse. Just FYI.“ I say, giggling slightly, finding myself all but completely comfortable now. I wonder where all that anxiety went? 

“Blame fully taken. Given that I’m not much of a sleeper, I’ll keep you company whenever you think there’s a killer hiding in your closet or fear a red room pop-up will appear on your computer screen.“ He replies, chuckling.

“Um, that’s oddly specific.“ Charlie comments, “Been there yourself, buddy?”

“Perhaps.“ Corpse wheezes, getting a laugh out of me too, “I will neither confirm nor deny.“

“You know what, I’ll just private message you my number so if you see it call you at some ungodly hour, you don’t freak the fuck out. Sounds good?“ I ask, already prepping to type it out and send it to him. 

“Perfect. Wait...“ he pauses for a second, sounding puzzled for a second, “You don’t have mine.“

“Oh, do I not?“ I reply with a sinister tone - thought to answer the question, I of course don’t have his number.

“Oh, do you?“ He sasses me right back. “If so then you don’t need me to send it to you. Cool.“

Ah, shit

“Wait, no! I-I need to confirm it’s the correct one!“

Damn, never did I think I’d be complimented by some of the most important streamers on this platform, but to get a number of theirs too? That’s a whole another level that will take me time to process. But I’ll do that another time, right now, I have to kick these people’s butts in Among Us and later I have some deep web stories to read.

Turns out, all it takes to get comfortable in a new surrounding is someone of your kind. And Corpse is definitely one of my kind.

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[pascalpanic]

Begin Again (Marcus Pike x f!Reader)

Inspo: Begin Again by Adam Melchor

Summary: Dating apps never pair you with the right people. Until you come across the profile of a handsome, pancake loving FBI agent named Marcus.

W/C: 4.8k

Warnings: lots of talk of food, language, late night deep conversations, some sadness at the end but nothing intense? reader has a pet cat, is that worth a warning? idk

A/N: HI GUYS this is my first full length Marcus Pike fic! I really hope you like it!! thank you so much to @theteddylupinexperience and @sanchosammy for being my best editors and proofreaders and idea givers!!!

note: PLS listen to the song before/after/while reading! it’s one of my favs and it really goes along with the story

Over the course of your adult years, you’ve become convinced that dating apps are complete and utter bullshit. The algorithms never work right, never pair you or any of your friends with anyone worth seeing in person. Maybe that’s just the problem; maybe it’s not the apps but the people. Whatever the answer is, whatever reason you’ve never found success in the endless swiping, you’re through with it.

That was before last week. The rainy Tuesday night left you in your apartment, alone, to succumb to the cold spring dreariness. Over a cup of hot tea, you’d downloaded the app again. Might as well try, right? You have nothing to lose. If worst comes to worst, catfishing an annoying guy is always a blast. The good news is that this app requires you as the woman to make the first move. That’s kind of a downside- you never know how to start conversations- but at least you can’t get unsolicited dick pics right off the bats. Life is full of tradeoffs, you suppose.

You begin again. The app becomes your favorite pastime. Bored at work or home? Dating app it is. Left. Left. Left. Boring man after boring man. One labeled himself super-straight: absolutely fucking not. One holding a fish: nope. A man who describes himself as a gym rat: not your type. It’s a boring way to spend your lunch break, you’re aware, but the entertainment value is fun if nothing else. There are a lot of strange men out there.

After a few days, your luck seems to turn around as the photo of a man with brown hair and warm brown eyes pops up on your screen. He has a scruffy beard and wavy hair, and the way his smile tugs at the corner of his lips makes your heart flutter. He’s really cute, you have to admit. You read the bio next.

Marcus, 35

❗️ Washington, D.C.

Got forced into making this, but optimistic. Lover of art, dogs, and time to relax. Always down for breakfast for dinner and cuddling. Looking for someone with a sense of independence, love of travel, and a sleep schedule equally fucked up as mine. Must love pancakes.

Must love pancakes. That’s absolutely adorable. You immediately think of your cat, named Pancake, and you laugh and swipe right, hoping the man already thought the same of you. Your eyes widen with excitement and you almost laugh out loud from your giddy state when you see the little logo indicating it’s a match.

The first message you send him has to be perfect. You ponder your options for a minute, frowning and furrowing your brow as you think. You don’t want to come on too strong; you’re not trying to sound like you want a hookup. A simple one-word greeting wouldn’t be enough.

You could comment on something from his bio, you realize as you read it again and again. Maybe ask him about his dog? No, that’s too awkward. You want it to be about him, something that can draw him in. Talk about traveling? No, you don’t want to sound like you’re bragging about the places you’ve gone in your life.

Pancakes. Pancakes are good. You love pancakes. You think for a second more, debating what to say, before inspiration strikes and you send off the message before you can stop yourself.

-

Marcus Pike has essentially felt the same as you. He’s a somewhat charming man. He’s had his fair share of relationships, but they never quite work out. His ex-wife, now long gone and blocked from his phone, was an absolute failure of a relationship. He’d gotten close to what felt like true love with Teresa, another FBI agent, but she flaked at the last second.

Maybe the constant here was that he met them in person. When Marcus falls, he falls hard and fast, down an endless spiral of emotions with no escape. Maybe if he met someone online, it would be different. His best friends had all encouraged it, and on a night out not long after Teresa left him, Pike set up his own profile. He liked that the app didn’t require him to make the first move. It’s refreshing.

Marcus had seen your profile hours ago, on a mindless phone break from his work. He’d swiped right too, stunned by your smile and the lovelines you radiated even through the phone. He crossed his fingers for a good part of the day, hoping you’d swipe right on him too.

His day is busy, leaving him no time to fiddle with his phone and distract himself. He eats in the cafeteria, checking up on his phone. After lunch, he’s walking back to his office when his heart flutters as he sees the dating app indicates he’s had a match. He looks at it and swallows hard before stopping, moving to the side of the hallway to allow others to pass. He’s breathing hard, and his heart speeds up when he sees that you are the one that matched with him.

He knows how this app works. He has to wait now, to let you make the first move. He can’t even write a message until you send one. So he pockets his phone again and continues on his walk.

He’s determined on his walk, rushing back to his desk so he can sit and be thoroughly enthralled in waiting for or receiving your response. His phone buzzes several times with notifications, one of which he prays is you. When he finally sits, he opens the app ceremoniously and has to hold back a genuine laugh when he sees your first message.

Blueberry or chocolate chip?

Marcus shoots back a text nearly immediately. Sorry, what?

Your bio. “Must love pancakes”. Blueberry or chocolate chip?

Marcus is absolutely beaming as he leans back in his chair, crossing his legs. Blueberry. Always. I hope that’s the right answer :)

Unfortunately, it’s not, but you’re cute so I’ll let it slide

You called him cute. It makes Marcus’s heart flutter. Come on. There’s nothing like the warm blueberry popping in your mouth.

There is. It’s when the chocolate chips are all melty and creamy.

God, Marcus is already painfully into you. You know what… at least you love pancakes. I’ll let it slide. You got a favorite place?

Anywhere I can get ‘em. You seem like quite the connoisseur, do you have one place in mind?

Jane slams down a stack of files on Marcus’s desk. “Paperwork overflow, Pike. Can you get these done tonight?”

Marcus is the fastest in the office with paperwork, which often leads to him being the one that flies through the files in the place of the people who actually filed it. He nods. What else is there to do? “Sure.”

Jane claps him on the shoulder and wanders off. Marcus watches him in slight annoyance. The best place in D.C. is definitely Sandy’s. Hey I gotta go, text ya later?

I’d love that :)

-

It didn’t take long for your texting to move from the dating app to actual texting. It happened within the same day, in fact.

Marcus messaged you some hours after the initial conversation. Your phone buzzed while you were doing yoga in your apartment, your cat curled into a ball beneath your stomach as you held a downward dog. You nearly collapsed on top of Pancake as you fumbled to sit cross-legged on the end of your yoga mat.

The message from Marcus is bright on the top of your screen. Hi. Sorry that took so long. Work stuff.

Smiling, you take a swig from your water bottle and lean back against your couch. Not a problem. Understandable. What do you do for a living? It’s a loaded question in D.C.; they could range anywhere from politicians to their rich sons to artists and athletes.

I work for the FBI, actually.

Your eyes light up in excitement. That’s the coolest shit I’ve heard. What do you do? Are you an agent?

The man’s responses don’t take long at all. He must be waiting in the chat to respond. The idea makes your heart flutter. Yep, I’m an agent. I work in international art crimes.

You certainly didn’t expect that for an answer. Wow, okay, that’s even cooler than I thought. I was about to call you Agent Pancake but I think my girl would be disheartened...

Snapping a photo of the way Pancake is nuzzling into your side, meowing for snuggles, you have to laugh as you send the photo his way. Funny you love pancakes so much. This little muppet is named Pancake.

Marcus responds with a barrage of heart-eyes emojis, which makes you laugh aloud and scoop Pancake into your lap, stroking her strawberry-blonde fluff. She’s an absolute angel. Like her mother, I’m presuming.

Your cheeks flood with warmth and you can feel the tips of your ears turning hot too. You’ve never even met me, Agent…? You trail off the text, asking for his last name.

Pike.

Agent Marcus Pike. What a nice sounding name. It sounds official and strong and you really like it. Cute last name. Might steal it from ya someday ;)

You don’t normally flirt this shamelessly, but he’s so goddamn cute and funny. You cross your fingers behind your back that this isn’t just a facade, that this is Marcus himself texting like he would to anyone else. You got a phone number?

As you laugh, Pancake paws at your chest to grab your attention, nails nearly digging into the stretchy fabric of your yoga tank top. “Watch it,” you scold her softly and remove her paw from your chest, picking her up and giving her a kiss on the head. Sure do. You want it?

Yes please.

You send your number his way and moments later, your phone pings with a text from an unlabeled number.

Maybe: Pike: hey, it’s Pike :)

You: hey… dammit, I really want to call you Agent Pancakes, but I think my fluffy little heathen would be offended. I don’t know what to save you in my phone as...

Agent Pancakes: Save me as whatever, I suppose. Not my problem, right?

-

The texts became more frequent. Over the course of three weeks, you’d stay up late talking like teenagers, knowing you need to go to bed but unable to bring yourself to do it.

You learned that his middle name was Mauricio, that his mother wanted him to have at least something a little more Latino in his name. You told him the story of how you’d adopted Pancake as a kitten from a shelter and she woke you up one morning with her claws entwined in a snarl of your hair. He told you about his ex-wife and ex-fiancée, Teresa, and you responded that he deserved something better than that. You can already tell that he’s a good man.

At the end of three weeks, you shot Marcus a text. Things seemed to be going pretty well.

You: Hey, you want to do a video call sometime soon?

Agent Pancakes: I’d love that! I’m free tonight if you are.

You: Always free. Shouldn’t you know that?? Doesn’t the FBI spy on us through our phones and whatever?

Agent Pancakes: well, I do work in art crimes. Even if we did, it would be a totally different thing

You: Good.

An hour later, you fidget with your hands as you sit on your couch, the laptop propped up across from you and ringing for a video chat. Marcus’s profile picture bobs on the screen as you wait for him to pick up.

Marcus’s face and apartment fills your screen, and you automatically grin. “Hi,” you giggle and wave, absolutely enraptured by how cute his real smile is, not the forced one in the photos.

“Hey. Nice to kind of-finally meet you,” he tells you and waves back. The wall of his apartment is nothing exciting, but his facial expressions already have you falling. Those big brown eyes compliment natural but ridiculously pink lips, and his brown hair is neatly done. It looks like he’s wearing a tie and a dress shirt; probably his work gear, you suppose.

“You too!” You tell him, unable to stop smiling. “You shaved.”

-

Marcus’s heart jumps out of his chest when he sees you ringing him. He barely has time to flop on the couch and turn it on, propping up the camera across from him.

God, you’re so gorgeous. Your giggle is infectious, making Marcus laugh softly at god knows what. Your grin is equally as contagious, making him smile back. He rubs his jaw in response. “Yeah, yeah. I tend to keep it clean there. Stubble takes too much maintenance, and I have this little patch where it never quite grows,” he tells you as he juts his chin to the camera, touching the spot where his beard can’t grow.

“I like it either way,” you assure him, shrugging a little. “How was your day, Agent Pancakes?” Your voice is the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard, even with the granulated audio over this shitty app. Agent Pancakes makes his heart flutter. “No, not you!” You groan as Pancake climbs onto your lap. “Hi. Your twin wants to say hi.”

Marcus’s smile widens. “Oh my god, hello cutie pie,” he chuckles, launching into baby talk. “What a pretty girl. You make a good Pancake.”

You smile and rub her fur, grinning. “She’s my baby,” you chuckle and set her aside. “Yeah. I’m busy. Leave me alone.” Pancake meows in protest. “Shut up, I’m on a date,” you whine.

Marcus’s ears perk up. “This is a date?”

Your eyes widen as you turn back to him. “I… yeah?” You ask, wincing a little.

He grins back at you. “I like it. And I’m really in love with the idea of seeing your face when you talk.”

“I like your voice,” you flirt back, but you mean it. “It’s so pretty. Do you sing?” You ask mindlessly, studying the way his brow furrows and his eyes convey exactly what he’s thinking.

He chuckles softly. “I used to. I haven’t in a long long time.”

“You’ll have to sing for me sometime.”

When he shakes his head, his neatly gelled hair tries to break free. A strand does, falling in his face. “You don’t wanna hear it, I promise.” He removes his tie, and you can’t help but watch the movement. It’s incredibly sexy.

A mischievous smile makes you bite the inside of your cheek. “No, I really do, I really think I do.”

Marcus rolls his eyes. “Only if you try the pancakes at Sandy’s sometime. I promise you, they’re the best pancakes in the District. I’ve never had the chocolate chip pancakes, but if they’re anywhere near as good as the blueberry, they’re fantastic. And they’re open 24 hours. I go there a lot for late night case work.”

You smile at that, getting cozy on your couch and hugging your blanket. “That does sound nice. I love a good all day breakfast,” you say with raised eyebrows, the teasing in your voice. “Okay, human Pancakes. How was your day?” You ask him again, intent on hearing his answer. Not only is his job fascinating, but he’s adorable when he explains things.

Marcus frowns, and that makes you instinctively frown too. “Well, it’s been good. We’re tracking a huge smuggling ring right now, but since we’ve pinpointed a stock house for them, I might have to travel for a while.”

You frown. You’d been hoping you could have a real date soon, at least. “How long is a while?” You ask him curiously, sipping from your water bottle that sits next to you.

“Couple weeks. No less than a month, probably. I’d… well, I might have to go undercover, which means we couldn’t talk for a while.” His eyes are apologetic, showing that he hates this news as much as you do. “And… I’d leave maybe tomorrow or the day after.”

Your heart sinks. “So soon,” you say with a sad smile, a desperate and lonely chuckle. “Well, if you want to come home to me, I’ll be here.”

Marcus’s smile perks up just slightly. “You would be the best thing in the world to come home to. And I’ll have the scruff back by then.”

“Yes!” You exclaim and laugh, pumping a fist in the air. “I think you’re really cute anyway, but I really love the scruff,” you shrug shyly.

“Maybe I’ll grow it out just for you.”

-

The adrenaline from his first technical-date with you prevents Marcus from sleeping. The call lasted hours, the two of you covering almost everything important in your lives. You talked about your favorite television programs and politics, your parents and your favorite pizza toppings. Talking with him was like nothing you’d ever experience, a connection you’d never thought a dating app could offer.

After several hours, during a lull in the conversation, Marcus suggested the two of you log off. It was around 11 P.M. now, and, even though Marcus has a sleep schedule like a raccoon, he figured you should sleep. He blew you a kiss through the camera, which you pretended to hold to your chest and grin at him.

But now it’s an hour later, just past midnight, and Marcus is antsy. He doesn’t sleep much anyway, but your face is running through his mind like it owns the place, and at this point, maybe you do. Marcus sits up in bed and sighs. He knows the proper remedy for this: Sandy’s. Throwing on a rare pair of jeans and a leather jacket over the white v-neck he wears, he slips on his shoes and makes his way to the tiny, 24-hour diner.

-

The adrenaline is coursing through your veins too. You text any of your friends that will listen, rambling about how beautiful Marcus’s face is and how wonderful it was to finally hear his voice. You pace your apartment, petting Pancake as you pass her perch on the arm of your couch. You try to do a little yoga to calm down but you can’t stop smiling. Marcus occupies too much room in your brain to try to think about anything else.

When it’s just after midnight, hunger strikes. You realize you never ate dinner, too preoccupied with talking to the handsome man to even consider microwaving something from your fridge. Talking with Marcus has instilled you with a love for pancakes, and you think to yourself that maybe Sandy’s would be worth a shot. It’s open late.

So you toss on a jacket and pick up your purse, slinging it over your shoulder and leaving your apartment. You toss the book you’ve been reading into your bag, planning to read it while you sit and eat. Pancake gives a sleepy meow of protest but you just smile and lock the door behind you.

The diner is just as small as Marcus described it to you: just a short line of booths along the windows and a smattering of tables in the middle. There’s a colorful, warm-toned tile floor that juxtaposes the warm green of the walls and the smell of fresh coffee and pancakes wafting through the air. Quiet classic swing music filling the atmosphere. You can see why he likes it: it automatically makes you smile.

You sit in one of the booths, facing away from the door, and the kind waitress takes your order: chocolate chip pancakes and an English breakfast tea. The air conditioning is blasting, making you chilly. You tighten your jacket around yourself and sip the tea when it arrives, adding cream and sugar.

Cracking open the book, you cross your legs and lose yourself in the book. The restaurant has a calming aura, and you can feel the tea warming you from the inside. It’s fitting that Marcus loves this place, you think to yourself.

When the pancakes come not long after, you take a bite and almost groan in happiness. It’s absolutely delicious: Marcus was most definitely right. Disappointingly, you have to go to the bathroom about three bites in.

Even the bathrooms are cute, you discover. When you return, someone else sits a booth away,  another lone diner at this godforsaken hour of night, facing the door. You can see the back of what appears to be a man’s head, neatly trimmed brown hair and a brown leather jacket over their neck and shoulders. Sitting back down, your back to the other customer’s, you return to your book and continue to eat your chocolate chip pancakes.

The customer and waitress are talking, but you don’t pay much attention, too enraptured by your book. It’s quiet again after the man puts in his order, and you enjoy the soft jazz music that makes you tap your foot in time against the tile.

There’s a buzzing and the melodic sound of a phone’s ringtone; one of the defaults that a phone provides. Your heart skips a beat as you hear the man pick up. “Agent Pike.”

That can’t be your Agent Pike, can it? You turn and listen and realize it’s definitely him, from his voice and the way he holds himself and the stack of- of course, blueberry pancakes and a hot coffee set in front of him.

“Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sounds good. Let me write that down.” Marcus types something into his phone. “See you then. At the office? Good. Alright, see you.” He hangs up.

Standing, you tuck your book back in your purse and put the bag over your shoulder. With one hand, you grab your plate of pancakes, and the other grabs your tea. You set them down across from him and slide into the booth, grinning. “Huh. Agent Pancakes, here, in the middle of the night. How unusual.”

Marcus’s tired face lights up in excitement. “What?” He laughs, his eyes scanning your face. “Why are you here?”

You shrug and take a bite of his pancakes, sighing. “Had to see if they were worth the hype. I couldn’t sleep, you got me so excited.” The blueberry pancakes are absolutely fantastic, just as good if not better than the chocolate chip ones on your plate. “Damn, you were right.”

“Hey,” he laughs and pulls his plate closer to his chest. “Don’t touch my pancakes.”

You make pleading pouty eyes, frowning a little. “Can’t we share?” You tease. It already feels like you’ve known him for years, even though this is your first time seeing him in person.

Marcus sighs. “I suppose,” he says and rolls his eyes in sarcasm, pushing his plate back out so you can access it.

-

Marcus is beyond stunned, absolutely enraptured in how beautiful you are in person. If he thought he fell on that video call earlier, he’s now reached the very bottom of that cliff, the impact of your everything stealing the air from his lungs. God, he wants nothing more than to kiss you right now, on those lips coated in blueberry juice and maple syrup.

The two of you spend quite some time so there, just talking and continuing the conversation where it left off before. The waitress refills Marcus’s coffee twice and your tea once. “So who called you when you were sitting alone?” You ask him as you bring the white porcelain mug to your lips, sipping at the creamy tea.

He sighs. “Guy I work with, his name’s Patrick. He’s a douchebag, I can’t lie,” he says with a chuckle, and his heart flutters at the way you give a soft laugh back. “Just telling me the details. I leave in about 6 hours. I’ll be in Singapore for a couple of weeks.”

“Singapore?” You exclaim, eyes wide as your fork clanks against your plate. “You better be able to contact me.”

He shakes his head. “I told you, I’m going undercover. I can’t.” He sighs, and he dares to reach out and touch you, to reassure you that he’s there and himself that you’re real, that you’re right there. “Will you wait for me?”

Your heart melts, from an already slush-covered river to a rushing rapids. “Of course, Marcus.” It makes his heart skip a beat. You’ve called him lots of nicknames, but never his real name. Something is painfully intimate about it. “I like you a lot; why wouldn’t I?” You ask, shrugging as if it’s the simplest thing. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder.”

When you finish your meals, Marcus picks up both tabs, despite your protesting. “Can I walk you to your place?” He asks as you both stand and adjust your jackets.

You nod and take his hand. The lights of the city are seemingly extra dim tonight, leaving the street lights to illuminate your beautiful face as the two of you stroll along. You have all the time in the world, don’t you? It’s 1:30 in the morning. You’re both already evading sleep desperately. A little more time together can’t hurt.

His hand never leaves yours, his fingers lacing through your knuckles. You chat quietly, as if you could wake the sleeping city from the peaceful blue drone of a weeknight morning into its daily splendor of horns and hordes of speedy pedestrians.

Marcus bumps your shoulder with his, making you stumble a little to the side and laugh as you look up at his gorgeous face. His face reflects the love you’re both feeling, almost giving the city around you a pink glaze of warmth from the rose-colored glasses you must have placed over his eyes.

The walk draws to an end, as you stand at the entrance to your apartment building. Marcus’s body looks so soft and inviting, and you dare to wrap your arms around his neck and hug him to your chest. “I don’t want you to go, Agent Pancakes,” you murmur into the soft skin of his neck, which is starting to get a shadow of stubble.

Marcus kisses the top of your head. He doesn’t move either, prolonging this time you have together before he can’t see you. “I don’t want to go. I’ve never wanted to stay here more than I do now, but I have to.” His arms wrap around your waist, strong and safe.

Lifting your head, you look up at him, your noses practically touching from the proximity you share. The world feels like a bubble around you two, like some impenetrable one-way material that makes it so if Marcus leaves now, he can never come back. “Well, it’s gonna be a long time, a month or two,” you say with a sad smile. “We’ll have to begin again.”

Marcus shakes his head, his brown eyes almost welling with tears. “There’s no one else I’d want to begin again with.” With that, he looks in your eyes, the question hanging there. Wait for me?

Always, you respond silently by pressing your lips to his, kissing him slowly in the orange glow of your apartment building’s entrance. He kisses back, his lips tasting of coffee and maple and blueberry, yours tasting like chocolate and tea.

You squeeze your arms tighter around him, getting on your tiptoes to be as physically close as you can to him. He has one hand on either side of your rib cage, holding you there as he kisses back with all of the passion and love he has.

It can’t last too long or he’ll never leave. He won’t be able to. He breaks away after a few moments, his lips close to yours. He presses your foreheads together, arms encircling you again. “I have to go. I have to be at the office in an hour.”

You lift your head and your brow furrows in confusion. “Then why did you take so long to walk and eat with me?” You laugh quietly.

Marcus shrugs. “Didn’t want to leave you yet,” he admits, his eyes trained on yours. He gives you one last painfully gentle kiss. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you more,” you say with a sad smile. “You’ve been my distraction lately. Whenever I’m bored, I text you.”

He sighs, the confession increasing his frown. “I’ll be in an entirely new place, without you.”

“But I’ll be here, in my same old life without you in it.”

The words punch a hole through Marcus’s heart. It’s true; he’ll have new distractions, new things to do. You’ll be here with a Marcus Pike-shaped hole in your heart. He kisses your forehead, the wheels turning in his head. “If you get a call in the next few weeks from an unknown number, be sure to answer it, okay?”

You nod and smile softly. “You need to go. Go.”

He nods and his hand squeezes yours. “I can’t wait to begin again with you.” With that, Marcus Pike, Agent Pancakes, whatever you want to call him, the man you’re highly suspecting might be your soulmate, walks off into the slightly chilly D.C. night.

-

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers  @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic

[irarelypostanything]

Did Social Media Improve Our Lives, Or Ruin Them?

I had a recent experience with dating apps...wait, what am I saying?  I have had approximately seven billion experiences with dating apps.  It’s just that I use the term “experience” loosely.  Generally on an app, my experience goes something like this:

*I like a bunch of profiles, write a bunch of messages, change pictures, and do a number of other things for a few hours

*Absolutely nothing happens

*Rinse and repeat

That’s more of a “me” problem, but...I’ve been thinking about some things.  First of all, a dating app is essentially a hybrid between social media and romance.  I could write and write about the value of going outside and talking to that one person we have known since childhood, or destiny, or in-person human interaction, but I would be doing so on Tumblr.  Take everything I write with a grain of salt, dating apps are efficient.

I think there’s a lot to be said about how, on a dating app, when you swipe one way you’re saying, “Hey, I like you.  I think we may have a future together.“  I imagine various scenes in Everything, Everywhere, All At Once.  Imagine if instead of taking place in one building, the entire movie was just one character in a room.  It would just be her swiping, and maybe everything else would be hypotheticals of the life she’d live with other people if she’d swiped a certain way, or used a different emoji in the third message.

Pretty boring movie, right?

Only, real life isn’t THAT different.  If you went to a coffee shop in another hour, maybe you’d never meet.  If you decided not to go to that one party, maybe you’d never meet.  If nothing else, apps increase the probability.  You get a window to talk, and the app pushes you together.  Certain things are active, and certain things are determined by the all-knowing, ever-mysterious algorithm.

A lot of the things programmers have built are not that different from that dating app.  The app makes money a certain way, generally by a paid tier, and so it tries to get people to pay.  For the longest time, websites like Facebook simply tried to maximize time people spend on the site in order to increase revenue via data-selling.

And now Medium.  Your jokes, your sadness, your writing...money.  Easy.  The more attention YOU GET, the more money you make.  It’s like they were on the same team as Facebook, but they got so lazy that they thought...hey...why don’t we give the USERS such a small cut of the pie that they become the ones in sales?

So why do we do it?

Well, for starters, money.  But there’s something harder to describe, even though I think everyone is aware of it.  Humans crave acceptance, and humans crave validation.  It’s why it can feel so devastating when that match of two months un-matches (though many would say keeping a match for that long is a mistake), or that girlfriend of 2 years sends a single break-up text.

When you put something out there that’s yours, completely yours, it feels like anyone who “likes” it is saying...”Yes, I see you.  I understand you and I approve of you.“  The best thing you can get is that “follow” notification.  That says, “I want to get to know you better.  You are someone I want to know.“

I have similar thoughts about the church and how it draws people in using the device of acceptance, but that’s a topic for another day.

And so...there it is.  Here I am, rambling on this blog with thoughts like that instead of talking to someone about them.  People will read it, MAYBE, and maybe some will think wtf is this and move on with their lives, but out there SOMEONE will read this and it will resonate.

And if that happens, I get the little indication that someone SEES ME.

*****

In conclusion, there is no conclusion.

See you guys on Medium.  Coming up is “8 reasons to date a computer programmer,” but on second thought maybe you shouldn’t because a few of them are responsible for that god-forsaken madness called dating apps.

[nothingunrealistic]

tbt this ask meme and my inevitable periodic requests for Tayston, 1. don't leave

1. don’t leave

Maybe it’s a bad sign that Winston's first thought upon hearing a muffled Shit! through the bathroom wall is Fuck me, this basement is haunted. He doesn’t even believe in ghosts as a general principle, but it’s gotta be either that or an auditory hallucination, and none of the potential explanations behind door number two are much fun. Sleep deprivation? Red Bull overconsumption? Radon poisoning?

Of course, the real answer presents itself as soon as he’s trashed the paper towel in his hands and exited the bathroom: Taylor, who wasn’t here five minutes ago, standing at his desk and inexplicably holding his headphones. Their gaze snaps to him before he can say a word. “You’re still here.”

“Is that a problem?”

“No.” They set down the headphones, gently, thank God. He spent hours digging through reviews before settling on that model, and it didn’t come cheap. “I thought you might have quit. That would be a problem.”

“Usually, when I quit a job with no warning, I don’t leave my good headphones behind.”

“Good strategy.” They look him up and down, brow furrowing. “Did you go home last night?”

“Yes?” This is what he gets for forgetting to do laundry and wearing the same clothes two days in a row. “Should I stay or should I go? Getting mixed messages here.”

“Like I said, if you go there will be trouble. But I don’t expect you to spend all night here. I’d discourage it, actually.”

“Got it.” No more falling asleep on the couch after 7 PM, then.

“How’s progress on the algorithm?”

“Scaling up is an art. Still laying down brush strokes, but the Met’s gonna fight the Whitney for it when I’m done. Is Axe on board?”

“No.” Taylor’s hands go into their pockets. “I haven’t pitched it to him yet. Right now he isn’t heeding anyone’s counsel but his own.”

“Bummer.” If Taylor doesn’t convince Axe to put the finished algo into play, where does that leave Winston? “Maybe waiting’s better than trying to sell him on something half-baked anyway. Once it’s ready, he’d have to be a fucking idiot to say no to the profits we’ll pull in. He’s gonna see the value, I know it.”

“Yes,” Taylor says. “I’m sure he will.”

(Send me a number and a character / pairing and I’ll write a micro story using the word or phrase)

[lobsters-on-their-heads]

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Including commentary both intellectual and snarky (okay mostly snarky).

Screenshots in very rough chronological order. Not every single scene or beautiful shot is included, but most of my favorites are. Includes SPOILERS.

^ This is much lighter and brighter in theaters. Four viewings, and every single time this opening screen showed me every damn speck, smudge, and scratch on my glasses. 

Just wanna snuggle this poor soaking sweetheart. She pouts!

Let’s see if this passes Tumblr’s algorithm. 

That one shot where she looks like Michelle Dockery

Dunno how much protection that see-through fabric is against the wind, but it looks cool and sets up our nice kiss later on.

Angled faces. Nose profiles. Lighting. Perfect.

#nocontext

A serving vessel with a single serving.

No symbolism here, nope. None at all.

The paint fumes! At least open a window, Marianne?

I just love the contrast of the destroyed painting “of” Héloïse with the actual Héloïse who’s absolutely delighted and can’t show it. Look at her eyebrow though. She’s impressed. 

Another delightful bit of acting / directing, when Marianne raises Héloïse’s head with a slight tip of her finger. 

“Okay, I’ll look at you, but I’m not gonna like it. Yet.”

There are reasons this won Best Cinematography. Look at this shot. The footsteps in the sand, the contrast of dark figures on light sand, the shadows...

A great example of comedy in this film. It’s just there, as a maid dangling from the ceiling without comment. 

There’s some discussion about this whole conversation, but I tend to look at this one line very literally. Héloïse knows that Marianne has had sex with a man, and she wants to know how it feels before she finds herself naked in bed with a man in the near future. She wants as much information going into her marriage as possible. 

How interesting it would be to send the Milanese suitor this image here, of Héloïse’s pissed off face and nothing else. 

There is such magic in this scene. It’s such a great payoff of the slow buildup that precedes it, as Héloïse shows more and more agency.

Héloïse at the beauty parlor. 

Basically a classical painting. (Ignore the little screen grab in the corner, if you would...)

Sophie sums up men.

God I love this shot! 

Pockets!

There’s some sexual symbolism here, somewhere. 

I am NOT a dress historian by any means, but from what the YouTubes have taught me, Sophie would almost certainly have stays that she could fasten by herself in the front. 

Marianne looking away because, maybe, she knows exactly how Sophie feels right now and doesn’t want to relive it. Maybe. 

NECKS.

[Placeholder for the removed image with the caption: I’m glad they didn’t make her shave, but I also think the hair would inhibit some of the drug from entering the skin just by being in the way. Also, let’s see if Tumblr lets me post this.]

It’s a wonder she didn’t sprain her ankle here.

Love their hair, their faces, the simplicity of the scene...

I can’t just not include this beautiful piece of genius here. 

Same color scheme.

Marianne’s face, desperately sending nonverbal messages to Héloïse.... and the mother’s pathetic flapping hand and utter confusion

The scene that breaks my damn heart every. single. time. 

Somewhere out there, there’s a spin-off love story between this student and another girl in her class, and they talk about how their teacher is totally into ladies just like they are...

Her hair!

He recognizes her immediately, though I would have translated the subtitle differently. I LOVE the height difference here. Plus the blue cape (blue like Héloïse, yes).

Pushing her way through the patriarchy

Nothing suggestive about this at all, no siree..

She’s wearing gold here, more similar to the color Héloïse shows up in (though not the same) than anything else she wears in the film. 

“In solitude I felt the liberty you spoke of, but I also felt your absence.”

[firstginger]

OH I KNEW!! I KNEW YOU WERE THE ONE BEHIND THE MOST ACCURATE DAEMON QUIZ TO EXIST!! AND OUT YOU COME WITH A POKEMON ONE!! OOOOH!! Ahem - okay that's out of my system. You seriously are the best quiz maker I know of in YEARS, and that's a big complement, as I take personality quizzes often and seriously lol. I've made as many people as I can take the daemon one - I got a fennec (been silver fox for years so super close) and bf got big mountain dog (correct!) You are a God of Personality Quiz

Okay I also wanted to ask though, besides gushing on your skills: Myself and, like, three of my friends got Snorunt? I'm pretty surprised by that. One of said friends being my bf o.o We joked that the professor of the lab we went to just threw Snorunts at everyone as a clearance sale lol. SO I was wondering if there was any way to look at tangential Pokemon we could've gotten? Like ones that are very similar, or ones with one question difference etc? Just as close options ya know?

--

first of all thank you SO much, i really love making personality quizzes and i’ve been super excited about doing this one! ❤️ i’m so so glad people enjoy them!!

second ugh i have been battling uquiz since i published this. i’m not sure what goes on with uquiz’s algorithm but the results that the person sees and the results that show up on my screen are often different. i’ve been testing it out myself and i’ll get one answer and then check the data, and the answer uquiz gave me when i was taking it is NOT the highest picked answer, so the actual highest answer is hidden behind my screen? i’m not sure if this is something uquiz does this if like... a few answers are in the ballpark, and it’ll just spit out a random one? regardless it seems to really enjoy snorunt and snom. which to be fair do seem like answers people who would be on tumblr would get (ice type for sure!), but... there are a lot of ice types in there. it’s just weird!

so i’ve been considering porting it over to ex.co actually. which would be a LOT of re-entering and the way ex.co works now is i get a 7 day free trial and then have to pay $500 LOL so if i’m able to get everyone in within 7 days the quiz would be live. but ugh i’m so on the fence about this. it just frustrates me to have put so much work in and then idk what’s going on with uquiz, maybe it’s not a fan of all the results!

anyway bottom line is if you are able to take it again, send me a message with the name you use — i can look up what pokemon uquiz tells me you got, which may be more accurate! and thank you so much again for all your kind words! ❤️