#maybe to you ~40 years is a blip but. she is only human.

[senseiwu]

If garmadon is coming back in the second half of crystalised can we PLEASE get SOMETHING between him and misako PLEASE that isn't him being rude or straight up trying to kill her

Like can we get some comfort or closure or SOMETHING.

[the-power-of-a-pen]

A Way Home

Fandom: Spiderverse

Summary: Following the loss of his alternate universe daughter, Miguel is reluctant to risk letting anyone close to him and breaking canon again. However, as most anomalies are returned to their universes, there's the issue of you. You don't have a universe to return to. So, after having you on his team for half a year, he adopts you as his child.

Word Count: 4654

Pairing?: Father-child relationship btwn Miguel and gn! reader.

Trigger Warnings: Some cursing, reader is hinted to having a traumatic past (very briefly and vaguely described), 1 reference to reader as "Spiderman" (meant as a gender-neutral phrase)

A/n: This turned out to be longer than I had planned b/c I realized how much I had to add to make the change of heart even slightly natural, so let me know if y'all want a part two of the reader and Miguel interacting further along the adoption. Not sure how I feel about the structure + characterization in this one. Feedback much appreciated! Please!! I'm on my hands and knees, begging for feedback!!!

------

"Lyla, status on current anomalies," Miguel ordered. He leaned over the yellow panels in front of him, watching the same scene of him and his child playing over and over again. His grip on the console tightened.

She blipped into view. "Currently, there are 918,503,201 anomalies to be returned to their home universes. That's 40% less than yesterday! Spider-Byte does have an update for you regarding-"

"I'll convene with her later. I'm busy."

"Busy brooding over your twelfth cup of coffee. Not enough sugar this time around?" Lyla teased, only to be met with a glare. "Alright, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. But seriously, it can't wait. A canon event was disrupted and now there's a spider-person without a universe to return to."

Miguel turned around dangerously fast. "What did you just say?"

"Talk to Margo -- she'll fill you in." Lyla blipped away.

------

"There you are," Margo mumbled to herself as Miguel approached. "This one's in rough shape, got dropped in Earth 616 and put up a fierce fight before Jessica took them to HQ. I tried to send them through the Go Home Machine, but it just dropped them back here."

"And you're sure it's not a hardware issue?"

"It's 2099," Margo drolled and rolled her eyes. "There's no hardware issues anymore, grandpa."

"Then try sending them home again. I don't see why this requires my supervision."

"This machine tears people's atoms apart and throws them back together in other dimensions," she explained. "If I run the same person through the machine too many times, they could die."

Miguel sighed heavily and began pacing around. "Well, what am I supposed to do? Keep them here forever?"

Margo looked at him like he was crazy and slowly nodded. "You can't leave them here to die."

"They're an anomaly anywhere they go, Spider-Byte. Maybe death would be a mercy."

"To you," Peter B. called from behind him.

"Maldito sea, carajo" Miguel cursed under his breath, turning around. "I thought you were taking the week off."

"Well, I was going to, but Mayday was begging me for another one of these cafeteria burgers," he said with his mouth full of food. "They're really good, you should seriously try them sometime."

Miguel's eyes darted to Mayday and quickly darted away. "I have work to return to in my office, so if you'll excuse me-"

Peter stepped in his way. "I'm sorry, Miguel, but I can't let you walk away from this problem. It's gone too far."

"I'm sorry, what?" Miguel questioned, laughing bitterly.

"Ok, I'm not great with words, especially not in front of big, strong, angry men, so MJ had me prewrite this, let me just get it- oh, Mayday has it. Mayday, hold the paper up for daddy, thanks, sweetheart."

Peter cleared his throat and began to over-annunciate his speech. "Everyone in this building joined your society because they believed in your ability to lead, shape, and change the world. We trusted you to use humane practices behind your actions and to keep the safety and rights of humanity at mind before all else. However, given the fact- Ok, this is bullshit - sorry, Mayday, don't tell mommy. Point is, Miguel, that you claim that you're all about saving the multiverse and saving humanity, but then you throw half of your sanity away to hunt down a 15 year old kid who just wants to save his dad. You're so obsessed with the concept of saving humanity that you forgot what it's like to care about individual humans. You forgot how to be a human."

"I never forgot what it felt like to care. To love."

"It's okay to admit that the new kid reminds you of your daughter, you know."

For a moment, Miguel and Peter B. just stood across from each other in silence, unable to break eye contact. Miguel's expression was intense, but otherwise unreadable. Then: "Go home, Parker. More and more of you prove that you're untrustworthy when it comes to prioritizing the greater good. I'm not afraid to get rid of you, too."

Peter's arms gripped on tighter to Mayday. He seemed to want to say something, but found it in him to walk away. Once he went through his portal back home, Miguel called for Lyla.

"Hold the chatter, Lyla," he said before she could open her mouth, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Silence any notifications except for the urgent ones. And I mean urgent."

"Well, since you asked so nicely," she remarked sarcastically, but complied.

------

Everything in Miguel's office repeated like a broken record. The video of his daughter. Peter's comment that he "forgot what it's like to care about humans, forgot how to be human." Gwen's "we're supposed to be the good guys." The feeling of his own child glitching out of existence in his palms, the very reason he got into this work. The ticking of the clock. The ticking of that motherfucking clock.

He zipped a web to the clock and smashed it into the ground, falling to a knee amidst the broken glass.

"I understand that you're having a very emo moment right now, Mr. O'Hara," Pavitr began, "But Jessica told me to drop this off." He placed the file on the floor and nudged it over with his foot as far as he could without getting too close. "I'm heading home now, have a great day!"

"Wait."

"Oh, I was afraid you would say that."

"Tell Jessica to report to my office."

"She said to tell you that she's not available until noon tomorrow."

"Of course," he chuckled angrily. "One person's off for the week, another needs 3 weeks of recovery. Now one of my only trustworthy members can't report for duty until tomorrow. But who's checking in on me, huh? That's right - no one. I took on this leadership role because I know firsthand what it feels like to have the only joy in your life, your only reason for living, taken away from you because of your own reckless mistakes. And despite all of that, I made it my life's mission to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else. But now I'm the villain?! "'We're supposed to be the good guys!'" "'You can't leave them to die!'" "'They remind you of your daughter.'" But does anyone else here know the pain of losing a child you weren't even destined to have?"

Pavitr blinked heavily. "With all due respect, sir, I'm 17."

Miguel barely seemed to hear him. He sank to the floor, running his hands through his hair and not bothering to clear the glass shards around him. "Maybe they're all right. Maybe I'm the one hurting everyone else. Maybe I'll make the same mistake I did before, and take another innocent life because I want to feel fulfilled, just for a moment."

"Should I get someone?"

Miguel sighed. "Just go."

------

“Morning, sunshine,” Jessica called, taking a seat in Miguel’s office. “You had a chance to go through the file?”

Miguel hummed in agreement. “Need a second opinion.”

Jessica flipped through her copy of your file. “Teenager, been Spiderman for 2 years, originally from Earth 45, but got dropped in Ben’s world. A slippery one for sure; took nearly two hours to get them on the ground. Tried talking to them, but they wouldn't speak. I know my stance on this, but what’s yours?”

Miguel paced around the room. “We can’t keep them here. They’re an anomaly regardless of where they go. Margo said that it would be too inhumane to send them through the Go Home Machine again, so… I think we should let them go quietly.”

“Are you serious?”

“When am I not serious?” He took a seat across from Jessica. “I’ve been hearing it from everyone else. I need to hear it from someone who was there from the beginning. Someone who I trust. Am I falling off the edge? Have I gone too far?”

She raised her eyebrows. “You’re just now questioning that? Look, as your friend, I’ll say this: you’re taking too much weight onto your shoulders. You need to stop being Spiderman for a moment and start being Miguel.” She shifted in her seat. “But, as your teammate, I want you to know that I’ll be by your side no matter what you choose.”

Miguel nodded, but he was totally spaced out. All he could think about was his daughter. How he wanted to take this one in so bad, just to feel like a father again, feel like a man again. How he feared the consequences of love. 

Jessica snapped in front of his face. “Earth to Miguel.”

He shook his head. “What?”

“Look, I can’t say that I don’t agree with your initial idea. But I look at them, and at Gwen, and at my future kid, and-” She put her hand on her stomach “-I just can’t imagine leaving them in the dust like that. I was wrong about Gwen, yes, but these kids are suffering. And I don’t know if we can keep making these hard decisions that put these people right back where they were trying to escape from and still call ourselves heroes.”

Miguel held his face in his hands. “I don’t know what’s up and down anymore, right or wrong. I was all of these kids once: Miles, Gwen, Hobie. I know what it’s like to love your family so much that you throw everything else to the wayside. But that cost me my child, and thousands of other lives. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do anything to stop it. I just want to stop the suffering. I just want it to stop.”

Jessica gave him a moment. “Let’s meet the kid. Give them a trial before we make any decisions we can’t take back.”

“Alright,” he agreed, “But if you’re wrong about this-”

“Then lunch is on me. Come on, mafioso.”

------

“Here they are,” Margo announced. “Just so you know, they’re fully aware of their situation, but not very talkative.”

“Let me talk to them,” Miguel insisted. “I want to hear what they have to say.”

As Miguel and Jessica approached, you refused to meet their eyes. Instead, you drew your hood closer to your face.

Miguel took a knee by you, talking through the red barrier. “Hey, kid. My name is Miguel. Miguel O’Hara. I’m Spiderman.”

You gasped dramatically. “No way! Really? I never would have guessed!”

He took in a breath. “So you do speak. Look, we’re trying to relocate you, but we need to have your account of what happened. Why doesn’t your home exist anymore?”

You shrugged and counted off the events on your fingers. “Dalmatian-looking dude crashed through a window at my internship. He went straight for the collider room, and most of my mentors were at lunch, so I went after him. I tried to shut off the collider at the same time he stepped through it, he pushed me into a hole, that lady behind you caught me after an uncomfortably long chase, and here we are.”

“You worked at Alchemax,” Miguel mumbled, though mostly to himself.

“Yeah,” you replied, leaning back. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Did you get bitten by the radioactive spider before or after working there?”

“Did I fucking what?”

“That’s how you got your powers, right?” He asked.

“My powers? Oh, I see what’s happening here,” you laughed. “You’re all off your rockers! Let me guess, this is some alternate dimension Alchemax where everyone’s trying to biologically get the abilities that I developed through technology. Ooh ooh, or, this is an elite spider society trying to save the multiverse from itself!”

“That was really just a guess?” questioned Jessica.

“I read a lot of sci-fi,” you explained.

“Nevermind all of that,” Miguel groaned. “What’s your story, kid? What’s your motive? Because if we don’t have that information, we can’t help get you out of there.”

Your expression became grave for a moment as you considered your options and chuckled bitterly. “My story? My story is that I’m a poor kid from the slums who worked their ass off to get into a good school so that I could do better for my family. My story is that my family never loved me, my friends never cared, and I was forced to choose between what I love to do and what the world needed from me. I didn’t have the power to stop my parents from hurting me or stop people from hurting each other. So, I manufactured that power and took it into my own hands. My story is that the moment I was released from that hellhole of a world, I was locked up in a three foot wide cage and forced to talk about my feelings. I heard what you guys were talking about in that back room. All I ask is that you do it quickly. I don’t like waiting.”

“Miguel, we can take a quick debrief if you need one,” Jessica offered, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Miguel didn’t budge. He looked into your eyes and felt your pain like it was his own. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Finally: “Let them go, Margo.”

“What?” 

“You heard me,” he asserted. “Let them go.”

Margo released you and offered her hand to help you step down from the pedestal, which you reluctantly accepted. “Didn’t know you were one for sob stories, Mr. O’Hara,” you mocked, though your comment fell through as soon as your legs trembled from lack of use.

“I’m not,” he responded, walking up to you. “But I know an innovator when I see one. You’re hurt, yes, but you have the capacity to do so much good. I’m offering you a place on my team.”

You approached cautiously, your arms crossed. “And if I say no?”

“I’d ask you to reconsider.” He held out his hand for a shake. You accepted, and he smiled. “Welcome to HQ.”

Margo whooped in the background and gave your shoulder a squeeze.

------

“Ok, first mission briefing,” Miguel started, walking backwards.

“On the move?” you asked.

“That’s the only way to do it.” He shot a web to a nearby building and dropped from an HQ terrace. 

You followed suit. “Where exactly are we going?” you shouted over the wind.

“Earth 616. There’s a rogue Vulture stealing tech from Osborn. We’d let it happen, but the man's the only thing between a country of people and an all-out war.”

“Got it.”

“We go in, capture Vulture, and bring him back to HQ. Shouldn’t be too difficult.”

 You stepped through your portal and immediately got whiplash from the pure speed of a nearby aircraft. 

Vulture swooped down from above and tore the tail off of the police helicopter. It crashed into a skyscraper and gained speed as it headed for the street below. 

Miguel spoke to you through the comms. “Trial number one, newbie. I’ll pursue Vulture; you stop that helicopter from hurting civilians.”

“On it.” You dived off of your skyscraper to gain speed and pulled yourself forward with your webs. In one smooth movement, you grabbed the two co-pilots and placed them on the closest rooftop. 

The helicopter was quickly approaching the ground, where children were playing in an enclosed playground. 

“Shit,” you murmured, propelling yourself under the machine to create a landing pad for it at a safe distance from the kids. At the rate you could fire, you wouldn’t be able to stop it on time. 

In the distance, you saw Miguel struggling to keep Vulture away from a construction site, and reached out to him over the comms. “Have him ram into that crane.”

“What?”

“Just trust me.”

Miguel redirected the Vulture, dodging last second when he attacked so that the crane would fall down. 

The crane caught the chopper where it was, and you used it as a crutch to help you redirect the chaos to the empty street. You swung around the crane five times, wrapping an immense amount of webbage around it and attaching along the side of a business building. When the helicopter threatened to fall due to the weight of it, you shot three web bombs at it to keep it in place.

When you reached the ground, you were out of breath and half-heartedly waving to the clapping children and their parents. Miguel placed his hand on your shoulder as you observed the incapacitated Vulture.

“Not bad, kid,” Miguel chuckled. “Not bad.”

------

A good six months had passed, and you had risen in the ranks of the Spider Society. You were still without a place to stay, and had been bouncing from place to place in between missions. The first month, it was Pavitr and his aunt’s place. Then, Hobie’s, then HQ, and finally, Gwen’s. Most of your free time was spent discussing tech with Margo or trailing behind Miguel. 

A building-wide alert had gone off, sending every spider-being into high alert as they searched for the threat.

“What’s the sitch?” you asked Miguel as the two of you bounded down the hall. “A futuristic Rhino that’s suspected to work for The Spot just invaded HQ. He’s trying to destroy our tech and pick us off.”

Just as Miguel had finished his explanation, Rhino crashed through a door four floors below. You both zipped towards him, barely avoiding running into Peter B. as he took a picture of himself, Mayday, and Rhino. Miguel attacked Rhino head-on, performing a spin-kick to the face before webbing his arms together and latching onto his back. Rhino broke his constraints effortlessly, and threw Miguel out of a nearby window. You helped Noir get to his feet and went after Rhino.

By the time you got there, Rhino had Miguel pinned to the cracked concrete. His web shooters were broken, and he was using all of his remaining strength to stop Rhino from snapping his neck. When he saw you approaching, he tried to silently signal for you to go, but you didn’t listen.

“Hey, Alexei!” you shouted. “I never really took you for the dominant type! It doesn’t suit you.”

You swung a piece of concrete at his back and zipped to deliver a punch to the face. Rhino was quick to return the favor, and charged you through a nearby wall. 

Miguel attempted to stand up as backup arrived. He climbed onto Rhino’s back and sunk his teeth into his neck, effectively, though temporarily, paralyzing him. A team of 15 spiderbeings worked to get Rhino back to HQ while you and Jessica helped Miguel to his feet.

“What the hell were you thinking, kid? You could have died,” Miguel snapped.

“You were the one near death,” you argued. “If I didn’t come when I did, you could’ve died. Was I just supposed to let that happen?!”

“Yes!”

“No!” You dropped his arm from around your shoulder and Peter B. went to pick up the slack. “Why is it so hard for you to understand that people care about you? You gave me a chance when no one else would. I lost my world, my home, and my friends. I couldn’t lose you, too.”

“That’s not for you to decide. I can’t trust you like an adult if you refuse to act like one,” he grunted, before wavering in his stance. Jessica helped right him. 

You took a step back and pressed your lips together. “You know, I joined this team because I wanted to save people. I have the ability to save them. And… if you can’t acknowledge that ability, then… maybe you need to reevaluate your interests.” With that, you took off.

Jessica and Peter sat Miguel down to rest. 

“How bad did I fuck up?” Miguel inquired.

“Give them a few minutes to sit on it,” Peter suggested. “Kids are like that. They need time to cool off. Just make sure you talk to them later.”

------

You sat on the slanted glass roof of HQ to listen to music and blow off some steam. Heavy footprints sounded from behind you. You sighed. “If you’re here to argue, can you at least wait until the end of this song?”

“I’m not going to argue with you. I wanted to talk. And… apologize.”

That piqued your interest, but you tried to sound nonchalant as you gestured to the space next to you. “Go ahead, then. Sit.” You turned the music off.

He obliged. “I’m sorry for saying that I couldn’t trust you and that you needed to act like an adult. It wasn’t fair. I do trust you, and there’s no reason for you to act like an adult when you’re still a kid. I’ll be more conscious of my words in the future.”

You nodded. “Thanks.”

You sat in silence for a while, and you began to get up.

“Wait,” he asked. “Please.”

“What did you really come here to say?”

“Just sit, and I’ll tell you.” He waited for you to return to your spot and took a deep breath. “When I was first messing with the multiverse after working at Alchemax, I wasn’t as careful as I am now. I found a world where I was dead, but had a daughter, so I replaced myself and began raising her. I loved her more than anything. But, I was an anomaly, and had disrupted canon events. I felt her glitch right out of my hands. Thousands of innocent people died that day because of me. So, I made a vow to myself: never again. I wouldn’t let this happen to anyone else, and I wouldn’t let anyone get close to me.”

He paused, gulped, and forced himself to make eye contact with you. “Then I met you. And I tried to hate you, I really did. But you’re funny, and you’re smart and passionate, and you have a damn good heart. And everything in me just wants to protect you. I’m so mad at myself for hurting you and-”

You cut him off with a bear hug, to which he slowly responded once he understood what was happening. You shed a few tears into the crook of his neck and mumbled, “I’m sorry, too.”

He laughed, partially in disbelief. “For what?”

“I called you a dick behind your back for the first three months because I thought you had a stick up your ass.” You backed away snickering and wiped your eyes. “But you’re more my family than my parents ever were.”

Now or never, Miguel.

“About that,” he began. “I know you’ve been staying at Gwen’s place - and you’re completely free to stay there if you want - I just thought it might be nice for you to have a permanent place to stay, a school to go to, a familiar face, you know?”

“Not really,” you expressed. “What do you mean?”

“I- it’s better if I just show you.” Miguel took a folder out of his bag and handed it to you. He looked the other way as you processed what he gave you.

“Are these adoption papers?”

“Um… yeah,” he relented, still refusing to look your way. 

“And this isn’t a joke?”

“Of course not. But, it’s also up to you. I don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want to do-”

“Yes,” you cut him off and wrapped him in an even tighter hug. “Absolutely yes.”

------

Miguel helped you carry your few boxes of belongings that you had left at Gwen’s into his modern duplex. 

“Jesus, dude,” you commented. “You didn’t tell me you were rich.”

He laughed. “This is what being a scientist earns you.”

“Damn.” You took the space in. The windows in the living room were from floor to ceiling, the couch a cool grey with ornate yellow and green pillows. Everything was open concept, and both the Mexican and Irish flag hung on either side of the TV. Aside from the occasional painting, the apartment was largely monochromatic. 

“The kitchen is under that loft area, which I usually use as office space, but you’re free to use it, too. Bathrooms on first and second floors,” he explained while walking up the stairs. He stopped in front of the third door to the right. “This is your room.”

You gently pushed open the door. Miguel had prepared for your arrival intensely. A twin bed sat in the back left corner of the room, a desk in the back right. There was a wide panel of windows with shades and a nightstand with knick knacks. A mirror, bookshelf, decorative rug, and bean bag filled the empty space. A poster with a Spiderman symbol hung over your desk, and a smile fought its way onto your face. 

“There’s a closet, too,” Miguel said proudly.

You opened the closet to find it fully stocked with casual, formal, and tactical clothing. “You did all of this for me?”

He smiled warmly. “Welcome home.”

------

It was the following year on Father’s Day, and you were waiting for Miguel to come home when you heard keys turning at the door. 

“Hey,” you called from the kitchen island. “I made dinner for us. And we can watch that crappy comedy show that you like.”

He hung up his jacket and gave you a hug. “Thanks, sweetheart. How was it with your friends?”

“Pretty good. But it took an hour to get Miles out of that Famous Footwear. I swear that boy has enough sneakers to cover the Mediterranean. How was work?”

Miguel grabbed a plate and took a seat next to you. “Well, we finally figured out the malfunction in the control room. Hobie had been messing around with it for his own projects. Shocker, right? But other than that it was just a bunch of boring meetings.”

“Oh, I just remembered something.” You rushed upstairs to get a gift bag from your room and returned, out of breath. “I made this for you. It’s not much, but my job doesn’t start until July and I wanted to give you something, so…”

He removed the tissue paper to find a carefully knitted shawl with his suit designs on it. He remained speechless for a moment. 

“What do you think?”

“I love it.”

“Really? Cuz I could get you something else if you’d prefer-”

“I love it,” he repeated, giving you a bear hug. “I’ll wear it all the time when the weather takes a turn.”

“I thought it might be useful for winter patrols,” you admitted. 

“It will be. I know you don’t like getting too sappy, so let’s watch some TV, yeah?”

Halfway through an episode of the comedy show, you got up to use the bathroom. Miguel paused the show and admired your work on his shawl. When you came back, he was still staring at it as if he were examining each individual stitch. 

“I’m back,” you said when he didn’t acknowledge you. 

He hummed in response. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

You furrowed your brows, worried now. “Is something wrong?”

“No, not all, it’s just…” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I wanted to let you know that I would understand if you want to look into seeing if there’s any way to find your real parents. I love you and I want you here, don’t get me wrong, but if this is something you feel strongly about, I wanted to make sure you knew that my feelings wouldn’t be hurt.”

You stared at him for a while before bursting into laughter. 

“What’s so funny?”

You grabbed his hands and looked him in his eyes. “I found my real dad the moment you brought me here. I’m home.”

He squeezed your hands and repeated your words as if convincing himself of the truth. “You’re home.”

------

[aurora-the-kunoichi]

A Choice

How they found them he’d never know. All he knew was they had come in the night, while they were sleeping, vulnerable. They didn’t have enough time to act let alone process the explosion that rocked the lair sending everything they knew into chaos. Donnie’s sensors failed to register the ambush, not even a blip on the screen, which left them easy prey.

 Leo paced his cell looking over every inch of the metal and cement box. Looking for anything that would give him an edge or a way to maybe escape or at least communicate with his family. Why was this taking so long? Leo would have thought Shredder would have come to gloat by now but all he got was the changing of guards every 5 hours. Six men by his count; at least within 40 feet of his cell.

 Leo paced his cell looking over every inch of the metal and cement box. Looking for anything that would give him an edge or a way to maybe escape or at least communicate with his family. Why was this taking so long? Leo would have thought Shredder would have come to gloat by now but all he got was the changing of guards every 5 hours. Six men by his count; at least within 40 feet of his cell.

 It took ol’ shred head another 24 hours to grace him with his presence. The mad man came without his gear, without weapons. No kabuto, just in regular clothes like a regular man but Leo knew different. This was a tactic nothing more, trying to appear human which the leader knew was a farce.

 “Good evening, Leonardo.” The man calmly spoke moving towards the bars.

 “Where is my family?”

 “Close and safe….for now.” Saki started. “And their continued safety will completely rely on how you cooperate.”

 The look in Saki’s eyes was of confidence and resolve, a look that terrified Leonardo to his very soul. He was about to make an offer the leader wasn’t going to be able to refuse. “What’s your game Shredder? What are you talking about?”

 “Please, call me Saki, I insist. We’ve known each other for many years young man, we are far past these childish games. I come with a peace offering.”

 “I doubt that very much.” Leo growled with distain gripping at the bars that held him captive. “If this was a peace offering you wouldn’t have destroyed my home, kidnapped my family and I wouldn’t be locked up like a prisoner. Now, where is my family?”

 “In due time, in due time and you are where you are purely as precaution. You see, your family has been the bane of my existence for many years, and I tire of this game as I’m sure you have as well. How many times have I captured your family, how many times have you escaped by the keratin of your shells? One of these days young man your ‘turtle luck” as you call it will run out and your shells will hang on my walls as trophies. But that would be a waste of your talents which is why I have a proposition for you, one that is beneficial for both parties.”

 Leonardo listened to the man’s words and stepped back folding his arms across his chest. “Why are you telling me this? I am not the Sensei of his clan. I cannot make this decision; Master Splinter is the head of this family.”

 “Because dear boy, only you can make this decision because you will be the main catalyst to this truce. I am not the man I used to be, time has taken its toll on my body, and I cannot keep this empire forever. After all these years I am still without a proper Chunin and you Hamato Leonardo have proven yourself time after time worthy of its title in my clan. You uphold the old ways, honor, loyalty, obedience to your master. Not to mention your skill is second to none. I want you to be my successor when my time has come to pass the torch.”

 Dumbfounded at the words he was hearing Leo nearly choked on his spit. “Chunin? You want me to be YOUR Chunin? What about Karai, your own daughter?”

 “Karai has her own agenda; she is rash, impulsive and sometimes cannot listen to reason. Karai is unpredictable and I cannot have that at the top of my ranks. It is you who I want. Become my Chunin and your family will be hunted no more. Splinter will live out his twilight years free of worry his family will be exterminated and your bothers will no longer need to worry about being deshelled or be attacked at night. I will even take care of your Bishop problem.”

 “You can’t pos..”

 Shredder cut Leonardo off before the terrapin could even form a protest. “Before you answer, I want to make myself very clear. Refuse my offer and your family will be slaughtered before your very eyes. Even if you manage to escape this time I will find you again, and again, and again until I have rid myself of you and your cursed family. There will be no place on this earth you can hide from my clutches. No more cells and chains. It will be instant death. Is that how you want your family to live? You can offer them peace and stability with a simple sacrifice.”

 He couldn’t breathe; Leo stumbled back clutching at his chest. What was happening, this wasn’t happening, how could Saki even think he could accept that offer? Leave his family to become the Shredder’s second in command and heir to the Foot Clan, all for the safety of his family? Leonardo’s mind began to spin with thoughts twisted together in anger and confusion. On one hand he could single handedly keep his brothers and father from harm. They would no longer need to worry about Shredder and his clan coming after them. Sensei could truly rest. On the other they would never allow it and joining his enemy would make him a traitor to his cause, go against everything he believed in.

 Shredder stepped up to the bars resting his ungloved hands along the cold metal. “I can see you need to process all of this and think it over. I’ll give you until the morning to decide. And I will answer the unasked question you will no doubt ask. No, you will not be able to visit them or see your father or brothers ever again. You will belong to me, to the Foot Clan and you will have no room for another family. If you disobey, it will call for their immediate extermination.” The darkness in Saki’s eye returned as he leaned in closer his voice dropping an octave for affect. “I suggest you mull this over carefully Leonardo. This is a onetime offer, and it expires at sunup. It’s either join my ranks by my side or it is the end of your little family.”  

 On his heal Saki turned heading out of his dungeon. As he reached the main doors, he stopped clutching at the top of the door frame to stretch his back. “Ohh, and I wanted to add, Ms. O’Neil and Mr. Jones are an intricate part of your family and will share the same fate if you choose to refuse my generous offer.” And with that he was gone leaving Leo to his decision.

[jawabear]

1 of 10 (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Not my GIF (look at this man...)

A/N: so here’s that Bucky fic I’ve been talking about. This took me too long to write but I like it? I’m absolutely loving Falcon and The Winter Soldier! I’ve mentioned this before but Bucky Barnes is my all time favourite fictional character. This is set before the events of episode one but maybe like a week or so before. I hope you enjoy. Sorry for any mistakes. Stay safe.

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings: fem!reader, tfatws spoilers, Bucky being awkward, nightmares, therapy, Bucky isn’t as smooth as he was in the 40s but he’s still cute

Summary: Bucky has ten contacts in his phone. One of which belongs the the girl he feels he has been searching for for 106 long years.

The times in which he found himself now were more than confusing. But that was the best way Bucky could think to describe them. For him though it seemed a lot worse than for others. For others, they had a gap of five years missing. For Bucky, he had far more than that.

From 1943 to 2023 there was a lot missing. He remembered it however. He remembered everything. The good, the bad, and the horrifying. What was meant by missing was that it wasn’t him who was living. He had missed out on living between those years. He had missed out on everything. And he knew, like the billions of others, he would never get those years back.

But now he was a civilian. Working to make amends from his past after being given a pardon. However, settling into his new easy life was proving far from that. It had been a few months now since the whole ordeal with saving the blipped half of humanity, Bucky included, and it had been a few months now since Steve went back in time and started a new life leaving him and Sam behind.

Sam. Right.

Sam was an avenger. More so than Bucky could ever be. So he was off doing his avenging work while Steve’s shield gathered dust in a wardrobe somewhere he was sure. Sam didn’t have it in him to take up the mantle of Captain America. He felt the shield belonged to someone else. It was Steve’s. It only ever could be.

More often than perhaps Bucky would like, he would get texts from Sam. Asking him how he was and telling him about missions he was going on. Bucky never replied. He didn’t know how to half the time and he didn’t want to.

He didn’t know how he was. He didn’t know if he was okay. He was forced to go see a therapist but all he did was lie to her.

“Have you had any nightmares recently?” She would ask him.

Bucky would think back to the night before their meeting and all the others as well. Each night he’d have to be faced with the horrors of his past. Every mission he carried out. Every person he carelessly killed.

“No” he would answer. And it wasn’t like he was wrong in his answer. The things he saw in his sleep were not nightmares they were memories. The nightmarish horrors he was were his reality, so when he said no in response to her question, he found it difficult to be accused of lying.

There were few things he could agree with her about. But the one thing he could see eye to eye with her about was the fact he was alone.

Sure, he had Sam. But only when Bucky wanted to acknowledge him which had not been often as of recently. And as his therapist so kindly pointed out he only had ten contacts on his phone. But in his defence, he still wasn’t used to the whole world of mobile communications and internet. So his phone was basically redundant to him. His mind was still in the 1940s where you’d find a date, what would now be classed as, the old fashioned way. By looking in person and talking. Not just texting or swiping left or right on an app.

Granted, Bucky did try his hand in online dating but it was far too much for him. It wasn’t only hard for him to figure out but also he saw too much of people he didn’t even know. The openness of the internet was something that was mind boggling to him. So that was thrown out of the window pretty quickly.

But what his therapist had failed to note was one name in his contacts. The name of his neighbour and quite possibly the one he wanted to end his loneliness with.

Back in his time, when he didn’t just have the looks of someone in their 20s, Bucky was in fact quite popular and good with the ladies. But the ladies, he found, of this new age were completely different to the ones of his time. Not that there was a problem, he just knew that he couldn’t used the same moves now as what he could back then.

He met (Y/N), his neighbour, as he was first moving in. After coming back, loosing Steve and getting a pardon, Bucky thought it be best to try and start a new. He did that by moving back to his old home of Brooklyn. His old apartment was obviously gone and with little money to his name he couldn’t afford the one that replaced it. It was far to big for him anyway. But he managed to find a smaller more affordable one and he much preferred it. If not only for the quieter location then the others in the building too.

(Y/N) was the first person he spoke too when back in Brooklyn. She was sweet and kind when introducing herself. She offered to help him move in but he really didn’t have that much stuff to use in making his new apartment more homely. And he had no food either. So (Y/N) did the neighbourly thing and invited him in for some food. A meal of sorts although she didn’t have much food either at the time. Even so, it was nice for him to be in company for once. And it was such warm company. They didn’t speak about much but he learnt a few things about her.

And now, on most Thursday evenings, he’ll find himself with her in her apartment eating a meal, sometimes she’ll cook, sometimes they’ll order take out, but he enjoys it regardless.

It was clear from the offset that she knew who he was. He frantically explained to her that he wasn’t what he used to be anymore and explained the terms of his pardon and how he’s making amends. But he needn’t have waste his breath on it. She didn’t seem to care about it. About who he used to be. She told him that she doesn’t live in peoples pasts and that she wanted to get to know him for who he is, not who he was. Those words meant a great deal to him. And from that moment on he had fallen for her.

Bucky sighed as he dragged himself up the stairs to his floor. He desperately wished there was some way of getting out of these therapy sessions. But he was tied to them. He couldn’t stop going to them even though he wanted too. But there, it wasn’t really like he had anything better to do. Nothing but either sitting at home in silence or walking around busy streets constantly looking over his shoulder. Those were his only other options.

As he walked to his apparent at the end of the hallway (Y/N)’s door opened and she walked out dressed for the outdoors, it was getting cold so it was smart of her to be wearing a warm coat. “(Y/N)” he called gently to her. She lifted her head after locking her door and gave him a warm smile.

“Hi James” She said, she always called him James rather than Bucky. He didn’t know why but he didn’t exactly mind. “How was your session today?” She had memorised the times at which he went to his therapy sessions. She probably knew he schedule better than he did.

Bucky shrugged “the usual” he told her making her laugh a little.

“That bad huh?”

“I guess” he said scratching the back of his neck.

“Well, I’m heading to the store to get some food if you wanted to talk on the way? Don’t feel you have to”

“No, that sounds good” he tried to smile but it was a little awkward, but she didn’t seem to say anything and just motioned her head for him to follow.

The shop wasn’t too far away so it was a quick walk. Bucky wasn’t the talkative type, not really anyway. Especially not to someone he didn’t like. And Dr Raynor was someone who he didn’t like. He was sure that deep down she was a lovely person but he didn’t like the fact she was insistent in getting him to admit his feelings. Although that was her job.

It wasn’t long until they arrived at the store “so what happened?” (Y/N) asked as she picked up a basket.

“Just the usual...she asked me if I had a nightmare-“

“Did you?” Bucky didn’t answer and just looked away from her. “James, you know that it’s her job to help you. And it’s in your best interest to let her”

“I know...but at the same time...I don’t see the point. These things are mandatory. So if I don’t want to go then I don’t see it being helpful”

“I can understand that” her eyes flicking between two boxes of cereal as she inwardly decried in which one to get, but her indecisive nature got the better of her so she opted to get both. Her indecisiveness, Bucky thought, was incredibly cute. It linked in with her kindness, on their Thursday evening meals together it takes ages just to decide what to have. “But still,” she continued, Bucky following her like a lost puppy “like you said, it’s mandatory. And there are people who would love to be in your position. Getting therapy I mean. So you should at least make the most of it while you can”

“I mean...yeah. I guess. But...I don’t know I just...well it’s easier to talk to someone like you then it is to talk to her” (Y/N) smiled at little at this as she finished putting on the last few items before making her way to the till.

Neither of them said much else. Expect for (Y/N) making light conversation with the cashier as she paid although both (Y/N) and Bucky knew that the cashier really didn’t want to be there. Luckily it didn’t take long for (Y/N) to bag her items and pay for them before they were both leaving the store.

It had gotten colder outside then when they left originally. (Y/N) shivered and pulled her coat around her a little more before they both began walking back to their apartment building.

“So what is it about me that makes you find it easier to talk?” She asked, she brushed her hair from her face as a sudden gust of wind blew it out of place when she turned to look at him.

“Well...” he muttered shoving his hands into his pockets “for one, you don’t sit there with a passive aggressive notebook ready to write shit about me” this made her laugh a little, she always found it funny when he’d talk about this notebook Dr Raynor had. She didn’t really know why he hated it so much, and she knew she shouldn’t have found it funny but he never stopped her from laughing about it, in fact often times he would join in thereby encouraging her.

“Yes, that is something better I guess. Although, I’m sure I could find a notebook if you wanted” she teased.

“Oh god. Please don’t” He said holding back a smile.

“Anything else?” She asked him.

Bucky thought for a moment. There were many things about her that made it easier for him to talk to her, but he couldn’t list them all. For one, that would be embarrassing, and two he didn’t think he’d have the breath to do it. “Well-“

He was cut off when he saw (Y/N)’s smile fall and her pace began to slow right down to a stop. Bucky stopped and looked at her “everything okay?” He asked her, his voice full of concern.

She turned sharply to the side so she was facing the road “y-yeah..” she stuttered nervously “just...my ex is walking this way and I really don’t want him to see me”

Bucky felt a strange feeling inside him. He didn’t even know she had been in a relationship. It must’ve been a recent thing right? Unless it was a really bad break up in the past, or this guy had done something to her to prompt her being so on edge. Bucky turned to try and scope out this guy but he didn’t have a clue what he was looking for. So he reached over to her and pulled up her hood on her hoodie that she wore under her coat and pulled her into his side so that her face was hidden from view.

“Tell me when he’s gone” Bucky muttered to her. She nodded her head and let him walk her along the path, she kept her eye on the path ahead as best she could while still covering her face. But she was now more focused on two things, his arm around her and his wonderful smell. Never did she think she’d ever get this close to him. She never thought he’d let her, but here she was attached to his side with his arm wrapped around her, holding her protectively against him.

And his smell. It was just as comforting as she dreamed it would be. A mix of his cologne and what she could only describe as Him. All she wanted to do now was to just melt into his strong and warm embrace and just stay there forever.

In all her daydreaming she didn’t notice that her ex had long since walked by and they had reached the entrance to their apartment building and she didn’t tell him he could let go or that it was safe for her to walk properly.

Bucky came to a stop and slowly slipped his arm from her “I mean...I take it he’s gone now right?” He said a little nervously. (Y/N) stood up straight and pushed the hood from her head and nodded quickly, her cheeks burning in embarrassment.

“Yeah. Yes, right. Sorry. Yes. He’s gone. I um...I just wanted to make sure he didn’t suddenly turn around you know? That’s all” she said in an unconvincing tone. But Bucky himself was too flustered to actually care that she was flustered as well.

“Of course, that’s smart. Well we made it back” he said stepping up to the door and pushing it open for her. She nodded and thank you and quickly hopped inside the building, Bucky following after her.

The walk up the stairs was an awkward silence. They felt like teenagers after their first ever date. Who says something first? What do they even say? Luckily for them, this wasn’t a first date, and they weren’t teenagers. They were fully grown, mature adults. But that doesn’t mean adults can’t get flustered in the presence of their crush...right?

After what felt like hours, but was more like five painstaking minuets, they finally got to their floor and walked down the hall, both briefly forgetting that they lived right next to each other.

(Y/N) stopped at her door and placed her bag of food on the floor to fish out her keys from her pocket. “Uh...you want to come in?” She asked whilst fiddling around in her pocket to find the keys. “I know it’s not Thursday but we didn’t really talk as much as usual...” her voice seemed to trail off as she finally found her keys and put them in the key hole before unlocking the door. “You don’t have too..”

“I’d...like to...” he said in a soft voice with a gentle smile to try and put her at ease even though he too was freaking out inside. She smiled back and picked up her bag before walking inside her apartment, he did too.

They both made their way into her small kitchen and he made himself at home by sitting in his usual seat at her white kitchen table and she began to unpack the shopping “Do you want me to help?” He asked her as he went to stand up but she waved off his offer.

“No no, it’s fine. There’s only a few bits anyway” she told him as she began to pack each item away in its rightful place.

“So uh...” Bucky began quietly as he scraped his metal finger again the wood table. “This ex of yours...what’s the story there?”

Bucky was a little cautious of his words. He didn’t want to say anything to hurt or offend her but at the same time he wanted to know what about the guy made her so on edge earlier.

“Oh uh...” she muttered as she pulled two cups from her cupboard.

“You don’t need to tell me if you want want to. Sorry..”

“It’s fine” she assured him “nothing really happened I guess. It was just a bad break up. He didn’t really take it well and for a few weeks after that he just kept texting me and trying to call me. He came round to my place too to try and get me back. He never did know how to take no for an answer. But about a month ago he finally got the message and stopped all contact with me. Seeing him today...I was just worried that he’d try it all again”

“He sounds like a real asshole” Bucky said flatly making her laugh a little as she went about making some tea for the both of them. “But in his defence, if I lost a girl like you, I’d struggle with taking no for an answer as well”

(Y/N) let out a nervous laugh and almost dropped his tea cup from the shock of his comment but she was a little more used to his flirtatious nature that would sometimes make an appearance when they were in her apartment. After he told her about his boyish charms back in the 40s she noticed how he would often slip back into that era. It was cute to say the least.

She set down his tea in front of him and he flashed her a “thank you” smile before wrapping his fingers around it.

There was a brief silence in the room. She was greatly over thinking is earlier comment. But so was he. Maybe he shouldn’t have said it. He meant it though. But what if he had pushed the limit a little too far?

“What was the other reason?” She asked him, her finger nail scratching again the tea cup trying to avoid eye contact with him at all costs.

“Huh?” He questioned looking over the table to her.

“Earlier. You were going to give me another reason why I’m easier to talk to. What was it?”

Bucky’s muscles tensed as his fingers gripped the tea cup handle as he stared into the black tea she had made for him. “If I’m being honest...” he began slowly “I think...there are too many reasons why I find talking to you easier. But I guess one is that you don’t do it because you have to or it’s your job to. You do it out of kindness. And it’s...easier to talk to someone who’s listening because they want to. And yes, I get that Dr Raynor probably does want to help me but I also know that at the end of the day, it’s all for a pay check. But with you...you do it because you want to. Or at least...I think you want to”

“I do want to, James. I’ll always be around to ask if you’re okay. And to make you okay when you’re not. I care about you...”

“And...I care about you. Another reason I prefer talking to you is because...I like you...a lot. I just think you’re the most beautiful woman, and you have such a sweet and caring nature and a good heart that is wasted on me. But I can’t help but like you...” he couldn’t really believe he just said what he did. He wasn’t mean to tell her that. It was meant to stay a secret within him into the end of time. But there was a shift in atmosphere that just made it all slip out.

“You...you like me?” She asked, still not looking at him.

“Yeah...” he said. There was a little more confidence in his voice as he admitted his feelings towards her.

“I like you too..” she too held a little more confidence in her voice as she admitted her returned feelings. It felt...good. Especially since she knew he returned the feelings she had harboured for him since they met.

She stood abruptly and held her hand out to him. He looked at it and looked up at her again before taking her hand. She pulled him to his feet and a little close to her.

He smirked a little as he looked down at her “you want me to kiss you or something?” He said almost proudly.

“Yes..” she said “but first...I want to know something”

“What do you want to know?” He asked her. She squeezed his hand and dragged him out of her kitchen.

She lead him to her bedroom and noticed the worried expression on his face when he looked at her bed. This was what she wanted to know.

“You don’t have a bed in your apartment...” She told him quietly. (Y/N) turned her body so she was facing him completely, he cautiously lifted his hands to settle on her waist.

“I know...” he mumbled.

“Why?”

Bucky paused but he felt safe enough to give her an honest answer “I...I’m...scared. Of them”

“What is it about a bed that scares you?” She whispered, her fingers gently trailing down his cheeks. Bucky didn’t answer right away, for one he was to busy focusing of the beautiful touch of her hands, and for another, he didn’t really know the answer to her question. But he could take a guess.

“Because I...I don’t think I’ve slept in one since 1943. And I...after everything I’ve done...I don’t deserve to lie in such luxury...” his voice was quiet and barely audible, had it not been for the close proximity they were in, she probably wouldn’t have heard him.

“James...” she laid her forehead against his and he instinctively griped her waist a little tighter. The comfort and warmth she was bringing him was something he didn’t want to loose. She was someone he didn’t want to loose. He felt safer with no one but her. For once he actually felt...okay. But he felt he was holding her too tightly, but if he was she was wasn’t willing to tell him that.

“You know that you have no reason to be afraid. You are changing. You are becoming a good man. You do deserve to live in luxury, even if that starts with sleeping in a proper bed. Maybe it is scary for you...but...if you’ll allow me, I’ll help you face it”

“Please...” he whispered with a nod before pressing his lips to hers.

05/04/21

Taglist: @lunaserenade @phoenixhalliwell @slytherin4ever

[themonkeycabal]

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, ep 3

Good morning!

Spoilers! of course

Previously on:

The new Captain America is a massive tool, but his buddy, "Battlestar" (lol), is a little bit adorable. They work for something called the Global Repatriation Council, which sounds like a bureaucratic delight and joy.

Bucky got arrested for skipping his therapy appointment to go to Germany (nothing good ever happens to you in Germany, Bucky. Stop going to Germany.) on a mission with Sam (the mission went badly). And once he's sprung from the clink, he and Sam are suckered into the most awkward team therapy session in many an age. Things Are Said and everybody ends up mostly feeling pretty bad about everything.

Speaking of feeling pretty bad about everything — we discover there was a black super soldier in the US Army during the Korean war who was repaid for his service by being imprisoned and made a lab rat for thirty years. Just as awful as it sounds.  

Also our pseudo-terrorists from the first episode turn out to be a pack of idealistic kids who grew up in a blipped world and whose goals are probably as murky to them as they are to me. They, however, have pissed off somebody much bigger and badder (probably by stealing super soldier serum). 

To find just what in the sam hill was going on with the super soldier serum being out in the wild, Bucky suggested they go talk to that very stable and rational repository of Hydra knowledge, Zemo. I'm sure this will go swimmingly.

I've got my chips and guac and beer, it's 12:30 a.m., and I'm ready for some good ol' fashioned fisticuffs! Bring it, Marvel,

And we open with a sunny, smiley propaganda ad for the Global Repatriation Council. Helping you get back to the way things used to be. Reset. Restore. Rebuild. Cut to a shady black police van with the GRC logo and militarized police hop out along with Captain Massive Tool and the shield that really shouldn't be his. They seem nice.

"Don't give them a second to delete, shred, or breathe," says Captain Biggest Bestest Hero Ever as they prepare to breach a graffiti covered building. Ah, it's the hideout in Munich where Karli and the flag stompers gang were bunked last episode. The owner refuses to give up any info, calls them brutes, spits in Captain Tool's face, and Captain Biggest Bestest Hero Ever roughs him up and yells "Do you know who I am?" The owner replies for us all, "yes, I do, and I don't care."

Captain Tool leaves and grumbles about not having intel on that super dangerous criminal 12-year old, Karli. Battlestar (lol) points out she's giving shelter and meds to displaced people, and so they're loyal. And I'm just going to let that go at this point, because last ep she was on about how the GRC only cared about helping the returning people and not the people who were there all along, and the Flag Smashers wanted to return the world to how it was during the blip. But now suddenly they're all about helping the displaced, who I thought were the ones who were gone, thus, you know, being displaced when they come back to a world that's moved on without them. And I'm letting it go …. now.

Or not. I mean, I guess we could say that they're helping the displaced the GRC doesn't want to help, because they're not politically useful or the GRC is funneling its massive resources somewhere else. Or … something. Like I said, it's all very murky at the moment. I could keep watching and probably discover the answer. And I'm sure the GRC is corrupt as hell, so you go Karli! Though, she's like 16 (okay, maybe early 20s), and I'm not sure how she's managed this level of pull and resources in the few months since the great Un-Blippening and also she's got like a team of 8 (or 7, one died last ep) and she's not exactly oozing charisma. But, never mind. Moving on. For real this time.

That's all my way of saying that 3:48 into this episode and I'm already super done with Captain Massive Tool.

In Berlin, Bucky and Sam are visiting Zemo in prison. How'd they get permission? The guard seems very chill about them being there, he even leaves so Bucky and Sam can go to Zemo's cell alone. Which is so very weird. Are they hoping somebody will shank the weirdo who sits in his cell listening to opera and playing chess all day? "Oh no, he's dead, how sad. Heinrich! Get the mop!"

Anyway, Bucky says he'll go in alone, because Sam's an Avenger and Zemo doesn't really have warm fuzzy feelings for Avengers. Sam, who is currently in possession of the duo's one (1) brain cell, remembers how Zemo literally stalked Bucky and tried to frame him for a bombing and mass murder. "He was obsessed with Hydra. We have a history together," is Bucky's very questionable counter-argument. Well, I mean, technically yes, I guess.

Seriously, they just let him walk right in. Wow.

Zemo steps out of the improbably dark recesses of his cell and immediately starts reciting the Winter Soldier control words. "I just wanted to see how the new you reacts to the old words." By staring. It's his thing.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry. It was never personal." I don't know why, but this made me laugh. His delivery is great. It's just like "hey man, good to see you again, hope you got past that whole framing you for murder and the global manhunt thing. Sorry and all. I just really hated your BFF for that time he dropped a city on my family. Bygones, amiright?"

Bucky skips the chat. "Somebody recreated the super soldier serum. I need to find out who." Ah, Zemo is super interested. But, of course. He killed all the other Soldiers, he wouldn't be keen on others around, would he?

Zemo knows where to begin looking for the answer. Cut to Sam and Bucky walking around in a dark room full of some sort of vague equipment (ah, it's a garage), Sam regretting every life decision he's ever made that led him to this point "what are you talking about you want to break Zemo out of jail? Where the hell are we? Buck, have you lost your mind?" Stupidity, who knows, and yes.

"Zemo's going to mess with our minds. Especially yours. No offense." "Offense." lol idiots.

Bucky finds the lights. They argue some more about Zemo. "Super soldiers go against everything he believes in. He is crazy, but he still has a code." Sam's like, yeah, I saw his code, it was blow shit up and kill a lot of people. Sam cannot believe he is hearing this crap right now and he's got to be like "steve rogers, if you weren't 106 I would beat your ass for leaving me with this moron".

"Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?" Sam, feeling those cold, tingly chills, the slowly creeping horror of realization, "What did you do?" "I didn't do anything," Bucky lies like the terrible liar he is. Wow he's a bad liar.

Cut back to Zemo's prison cell. Zemo ticks another off the "creepy euro villain" checklist, when Bucky randomly asks what he's reading and Zemo says Machiavelli. But of course. He's hiding something in his book. A key card.

Meanwhile, in the garage Bucky is explaining things to Sam. "The weakest point of any system isn't the software, or the hardware, it's the meatware." lol elegantly put, Bucky. "The human element."

Anyway, to sum up, Bucky's already broken Zemo out of prison. Poor Sam, the look on his face as Bucky hypotheticals through all the steps of the breakout, I laughed so hard.

Sam: “i hate everything, especially this asshole”

"And where are we?" Sam asks, very fed up with Things. 

The door opens and here comes Zemo in his purloined guard's uniform.

"You're going back to prison!" "We need him, Sam." Zemo, politely, "If I may—" "NO!" "NO!"

Argue argue argue. Bucky makes a weird pitch about how Steve didn't sign the Sokovia Accords and neither did Sam and, they went all illegal and on the run, they did it for him and so he's asking Sam to do that again. I mean, Sam's still slightly cheesed about that, Bucky. But, it seems to work, and Sam agrees with A Great Deal Of Reluctance.

Zemo's just standing there all quiet and well-mannered as they go through this, like he's their little pet whackjob.

The garage is full of classic cars belonging to Zemo and they're full of weapons and other goodies. He says he spent years tracking down all the Hydra people who might know how to make the serum, because if it's out there, then somebody could create an army of people like the Avengers. He's taking clothes out of one of the cars and finds a purple ski mask, which he stealthily slips into a bag. Nobody cares about your weird purple mask, Zemo, I've thought that thing was dumb for 30 years.

"To do this, we'll have to scale a ladder of low-lifes." heh

Next they go to an airfield. In Germany. You guys, come on.

Anyway, Zemo owns a plane, he's rich, his family was royalty, he's a baron. Sam's like 'wtf?' Bucky just rolls with everything. Or he does until they're on the plane later and Zemo has somehow lifted Bucky's book of amends and decides to read through it. "Who is Nakajima?" And Bucky's got him by the throat.

Sam's all hey that's Steve's book. "I told him about Trouble Man, he wrote it in that book. Did you hear it? What did you think?" "I like 40s music, so…" "You didn't like it?!?!?!?!" "I liked it." Zemo chimes in, "It is a masterpiece, James. Complete, comprehensive. It captures the African-American experience." lol wtf

"Everybody loves Marvin Gaye," Sam is so offended. "I like Marvin Gaye," Bucky says, probably trying to remember 'who is Marvin Gaye?' "Steve *adored* Marivn Gaye," Sam insists. lol. I like Marvin Gaye, Sam.

Zemo starts going off about Steve, and how the danger with those heroes and super soldiers is they're put on a pedestal and we forget about their flaws. And while he's not wrong, he also clearly wants Sam to throw him out of that airplane.

"Do we want to live in a world with people like the Red Skull? No. That is why we're going to Madripoor." Ahh Madripoor, I haven't thought about that place in a long, long time. A wretched hive of scum and villainy, iirc. Ah, yes, Zemo and Bucky confirm.

Zemo says they can't go as themselves and Bucky's going to have to "become someone you claim is gone". Bucky looks Deeply Unhappy.

On to a GRC resettlement camp in Latvia. Karli is playing soccer with some young kids. Because of the good-natured idealism. She's summoned to a hospital bed, in a ward stuffed with beds in an old, fancy building that's seen better days. Somebody is dying and she's crying at their bedside. Her mom maybe?

Back to Madripoor. It's a glittering city of colorfully-lit skyscrapers. The trio are walking across a bridge to give us a picturesque view and exposit about what they'll be doing. Sam is wearing a very questionable suit with like a black and red floral pattern and yellow-green circles. Or something. I can't tell what's going on with that thing. He says he looks like a pimp. Well no, but it is a terrible suit. Zemo calls it fashion forward, but Zemo wears a great coat with a fur collar and a purple ski mask. Don't take fashion tips from Zemo.

He says Sam will play a "sophisticated, charming, African rake, named Conrad Mack. Aka the Smiling Tiger." Sam is still not thrilled, "even has a bad nickname." Though, yes, the original dude does dress that poorly and he looks like Sam, so suck it up, Sam.

Fortunately they don't have to walk all the way across the bridge (it is a long ass bridge), they're met by a car about halfway and Zemo says they have to super duper stay in character no matter what happens.

The car is surrounded by elaborately decorated motorcycles ridden by very armed people. Hell of a welcome wagon. They're escorted to a graffitied, crumbling underpass, presumably the entrance to Low Town. It's part Macao, part Kowloon, part Jakarta, crammed full of neon and people and ramshackle buildings piled together in a maze of narrow streets, rails, and weird building-to-building bridges. Good set design.

Everybody is "fashion forward" and very heavily armed. They pass a wall with the words "Power Broker Is Watching". That's the charming fellow Karli and her do-gooders stole from.

They enter a bar decorated with golden baboon skulls and koi fish. Zemo asks "are you ready to comply, Winter Soldier?" he's attracted attention from unsavory sorts. I mean, more unsavory than the already unsavory sorts who fill the bar. The bartender is surprised to see Zemo and the Smiling Tiger. Zemo asks for Selby.

Somebody at a nearby table pulls a hood over her head, and by somebody I mean Sharon Carter. NOT SUBTLE SHARON!

Bartender asks the Smiling Tiger if he wants the usual and Sam silently nods. The bartender seems suspicious, but he takes a pickled snake out of a jar, cuts something out of it, drops it in a glass and places it in front of Sam who's like 'what in the actual I am going to puke'. lol Sam bravely tosses it back and does not puke no matter how much he really wants to and he really wants to. Bucky's being the Winter Soldier and is not at all laughing in his head about this.

A power broker minion comes over and tells Zemo he's not welcome there. Zemo says if PB wants him to leave, he can talk to him himself or bring Selby. The minion looks at Bucky and asks if he got a new haircut. Bucky gives him pure murder face. So the Power Broker and his minions know the Winter Soldier, so they were Hydra? Or, I guess, they all ran in the same shady circles.

Anyway, PUNCHING AT LAST! Power Broker minions approach to remove Zemo and Zemo tells the Winter Soldier to attack. Bucky is not pleased, but I am, because now there's punching. It's just been the sort of week that needs punching to improve it. Bar brawl! It's a lopsided fight, Bucky's wiping the floor with these dudes and the suspicious bartender is moving away to make a call.

"It didn't take much for him to fall back into form," Zemo tells Sam. Shut your pie hole, Zemo.  Aw, now the guns come out and the fight's over. Zemo calls off the Winter Soldier and the bartender tells them Selby will see them.

Selby is lounging in her backroom, listening to 50s french pop, and hanging out with lizards and piles of cash. As you do. She'd like to know why Zemo is there and by the way wasn't he in prison? She makes a weird purring sound at Sam. lol. I like her. The actress looks familiar but I can't place her. Anyway.

Zemo says if she tells them what she knows about the super soldier serum, he'll give her the Winter Soldier and his control words. Then Zemo weirdly fondles Bucky's face and like rubs at the cleft in his chin. lol. fucking weirdo.

Selby is charmed. She says she's glad she didn't kill him straight away. Weirdos of a feather, I suppose. Anyway, she says the serum is in Madripoor and developed by Dr. Wilfred Nagel. He was working for the PB. She won't give up Nagel's location for free, though. …and Sam's phone rings. Pro tip, Sam: turn off your phone when you go into meetings with deeply shady crime bosses.

Everybody stops and stares at him and he just sort of lets it ring. It's his sister. Dude, just turn it off. Too late. Selby wants him to answer it on speaker. Okay, well, she'll kill you either way, so just refuse the call and get ready for punching and running. So, he answers it.

Sarah says she needs to talk to him about the situation and he wants her to say exactly what situation. So, she says the one with the boat, dummy, and are you high? So he's going to play this off as a Doing Crime phone call. And it kind of works until Sarah calls him Sam. Selby's like wtf kill them and then she gets shot in the chest by … I don't know who? somebody from the outside. Now this trio of geniuses is going to get blamed for it. Immediately a bounty for them goes out to like everybody in Low Town. lol. That went well, guys.

And the shooting starts, they run. Except not so great for Sam who we just discovered is wearing heels. "I can't run in these heels!"

Here come the bikers. And they get picked off by somebody in a nearby warehouse. Oh, is that Sharon? Yep. And she's salty .When asked what she's doing there, "I stole Steve's shield, remember? I also took the wings for your ass so you (sam) could save his ass (bucky) from his ass (zemo)." lol. She didn't have any backup so she's off the grid in Madripoor. Did nobody think to clear her after everybody was all heroic and then pardoned after the Un-Snappening? Come on, guys.

She's better than they deserve and despite being bitter, she says she's got a place in High Town they can hide.

Sharon runs a gallery selling stolen masterpieces and other hot craft goodies. The creators of this show bless us with a long shirtless Sam scene as he changes out of this Smiling Tiger duds and apologizes to Sharon. She says she'd be arrested if she went back to the States and Madripoor doesn't allow extradition. Besides, she muses, heroing is hypocritical bullshit. Right Sam, since you gave up the shield and all. And Sam's all "bwhu?"

Then she turns her bitter on Bucky and asks how the new Cap is and Bucky's like "i hate him the most" and she's all 'come on', she knows he buys into all that heroic bullshit, "before you were his (zemo) pet psychopath you were Mr America, Cap's best friend." Well, no before that he was the Winter Soldier long before Zemo.

"Wow, she's kind of awful now," Bucky tells Sam. lol. You really get a sense of how much Bucky lucked out with his goat farm. Thanks Wakanda!

Sam gets them back to the point and wants to know where Nagel is, though Sharon says they should stay out of it to be safe. Sam presses, he says he can help clear Sharon's name and she's like 'wow, bargaining with my life?' but he gives her a Cap-worth speech about trying. "They cleared the bionic staring machine and he's killed almost everybody he's met." "I heard that," Bucky says from ten feet away. "I don't trust charity." You just tried to guilt him about bargaining with your life, Sharon!

Anyway, they strike a deal.

Zemo's being suspiciously quiet.

Then they go to a rave. Madripoor is party central. Sharon's gallery is hosting a party for clients and whatnot. She'll see what she can find. For some reason she invites the boys to join her at the party because hiding from the bounty on them and probably also from the Power Broker means walking into parties packed full of the sort of people who buy expensive stolen goods in Madripoor, like say, the Power Broker or his wealthier minions.

Zemo's just happy to be out of prison. The shot of him dancing. lol.

Sharon finds a lead on Nagel and the next day this quartet of galaxy brains heads to the docks. Nothing bad ever happens when you go look for scientists at the docks. No sir. And he is apparently hanging out in a shipping container. Sharon's like hurry up you've got a bounty on your heads and I'm sick of you three already.

The container is empty, but Sharon insists it's the right one. Zemo goes in and finds the false back which leads to a set of stairs going up. "Comin' Home Baby" is playing in the distance. I know I always listen to Mel Torme when I'm tinkering on gene-altering serums in my secret shipping container lab.

They find Dr. Nagel, who is not keen on chatting but he's willing to maybe listen to offers. He's definitely the mad scientist type.

Sharon, keeping watch outside, spots trouble. Some bad guys heading towards the container. She attacks! Moar punchies! Or beating the shit out of people with a baton. It's eleventy zillion bounty hunters. How did they find them? Did that Very Wanted Trio maybe go to a very popular party the night before, or something?

Bucky attempts to persuade Nagel with his gun. Nagel says he was brought in to Hydra to work on the Winter Soldier program. Then he was recruited by the CIA. They had blood samples of a subject (Isaiah? the black super soldier from last ep), and he was able to recreate the serum off of that. "I was a god! I did what no other scientist since Erskine was able to do."

Zemo is pacing around like a very, very angry psycho about to shoot the mad scientist. Guys, maybe it wasn't a good idea to bring Zemo to the person who could create the super soldier serum, given that is the opposite of what he wants. Kill Nagel, no more super soldiers. This is gonna end bloody. Zemo seems to have found a gun hidden in the lab. Yep.

"How have we never heard about this?" Sam asks. Well Sam, it turns out Nagel was blipped. Thanks, Thanos! Anyway, when he came back the CIA project was abandoned but the Power Broker was happy to help fund him. He made 20 vials and Karli stole those. And then Karli being a super duper genius, called him a few days earlier and asked if he could help somebody dying of tuberculosis. Karli … don't call the bad guys and ask for help after you stole from them. That's like day one stuff, kiddo.

Meanwhile, Sharon is still fighting every bounty hunter in Madripoor. She's killed like twenty guys.

Sharon runs in "guys we're seriously out of time" and Zemo takes the distraction to shoot Nagel. Who didn't see that coming? Oh yeah, Sam and Bucky and Sharon. Nobody was using the one (1) brain cell today. Or Zemo was. That's what you get for loaning it to the lunatic.

And then somebody fires a freaking rocket at the shipping container lab. Man. But, can you collect a bounty if all that's left are unidentifiable, charred corpses? Nobody in Madripoor is using the brain cell today.

Now they're trapped in a burning lab that's full of probably very bad explosive chemicals and o2 tanks. And yep, it partially blows up. Zemo gets away. Or seems to have, anyway. It's a gun battle now and also arguing. lol. Sharon's like "FOR REAL YOU IDIOTS?"

Oh, here comes Zemo, stomping along the top of a shipping container, carrying his purple ski mask. He fires at a gas line, the explosion distracting the bounty hunters and giving the trio time to run. Zemo beats up some bounty hunters and then finds a convertible muscle car in a container and swings by to pick up the others. Sam is very grumpy "you're going back to jail". lol.

Sharon's like 'okay, buh-bye!', she's had enough. Aww, is she really only in one episode? Well, Sam does promise to try and get her that pardon, so …

Anyway, Bucky calls shotgun and refuses to move the seat up for Sam. Payback is sweet. Heh.

Oh, not done with Sharon yet. She meets a minion and says they've got a couple of big problems.

Lithuania. Karli and one of her pals are stalking a GRC depot. Karli's sad. Her buddy says she should take some time to mourn. But, no, she's got do-gooding to do. They chat for a bit about what they'd be doing if they weren't do-goodering. She'd be a teacher or some such. They were all in Madripoor, washed up there during the blip, put then put out when everybody returned. Hmm. Lots of expositioning. Blah blah, scary taking the serum. "But it was worth it, because this world is ours." And they're going to give it to the kids in the displacement camps. … alrighty then.

Anyway, she's convinced that now that Nagel is dead, the Power Broker will come to her begging for the rest of the serum. No, sweety, I really don't think a person like that begs. Yikes.

"So we've got the one fight ahead of us then? I'll take those odds," says her very dim buddy.

In the prison in Berlin, Captain Massive Tool is talking to the guards about how Sam and Bucky where there when Zemo escaped and the guard's all "you … you don't think they had something to do with him getting out…." World class security. I find it really grating that Captain Tool calls Sam and Bucky by their first names. It's just so weirdly familiar that it almost crosses into dismissive. Completely unearned familiarity.

Lemar says they can't just accuse Sam and Bucky without evidence, but Captain Tool seems to think they can just, you know, make it up or some shit. "If we get the job done, do you think they're going to sweat us on the how?" Fuck you, Captain Tool.

Back in Zemo's plane, Bucky's fastidiously cleaning his metal arm, like a big grumpy cat. And Sam is trying to get a lead on the person (Madani) Nagel told him Karli wanted to help. He's got Torres on it.

They get to talking about the shield and how many people died or got messed up because of it/the serum. Sam says he made a mistake giving it up and he should have destroyed it. Bucky says, "Look that shield represents a lot of things to a lot of people, including me. The world is upside down, we need a new Cap, and it ain't gonna be Walker [preach]. So before you destroy it, I'll take it from him myself." Kick his ass, Bucky!

Torres gets back to Sam just as Zemo brings them lunch. Such a good host. "They found Madani. Dead. She died in Riga, a city near the Baltic Sea." … was that last bit really necessary? Like Riga is such a mystery? Even if you don't know where it is, like, that's so weirdly clunky. Somehow I think if you don't know Riga, you probably don't have the Baltic in the map in your head, either.  'Have you ever been to London? A city on the River Thames.' 'I've always wanted to go to Los Angeles, a city near the Pacific Ocean.'

Bucky should have said "oh yeah, i love Riga. I killed a diplomat there back in '64. Great beer."

Zemo's got a place they can go and he's looking forward "to coming face to face with Karli." Not creepy at all, Zemo. Nope.

Meanwhile, the kids are raiding the GRC depot and chatting way too much and calling each other by name. Oh dear.

"Filthy Flag Smashers" grumps a soldier tied up on the floor. I can't take them at all seriously with a name like that. Karli says they had six months of supplies just sitting there. "Don't you understand, we're fighting for our lives." Are you? Why and in what way?

Okay, so this is my continuing issue here. They're trying to build up this un-Blipped world, which is great, but they're doing it through So Much Exposition and so much of it is vague. We're supposed to think the GRC are probably shady, but are they? I don't know. Could be. They're sitting on these supplies! Evil! Maybe they are, but why? Why stockpile all that? Is it being sold on a black market? Or diverted to other people? Who knows! I don't. You don't.

We're supposed to sympathize with the Flag Munchers, but they're so vague in their goals. They want the world back how it was during the Blip. Okay. How was it? I don't know. What was so great about it? What we saw in Endgame didn't look all that great. But, we saw it from a different point of view, to be sure. So, what was it like for the average person who survived? Hell if I know. Also the Munchers want to help the people in the displacement camps. Okay. So do those two goals go together? I don't know. Are all the displacement camps bad? We're meant to think so, but I don't know. Is it just some of them? Is it regional? Who, exactly, are the displaced? It seems to be a mix of those who were blipped and those who weren't. I guess. I don't know.

It's just all taken out of the Big Book Of Cliched Assumptions for Lazy Worldbuilding. Why actually do the hard work of details, when they can just fall back on tropes, make vague pronouncements about how 'bad' things are, and let us assume the answers. This might bother me less if we didn't have to spend so much time with Captain Tool and the Flag Munchers. I cannot tell you how much I currently don't care. I find this all very frustrating. I don't mean to spoil the fun. Let me look at Sam's face again:

That was better. But, I stopped too soon. We're still with the Munchers. 

They're leaving the building they just looted, and there’s a bit of business I don’t care about, involving Karli’s car and how she’s not taking it, she’s going to just leave it parked, completely unsuspiciously in front of the building. And, she’s going to ride with her pal Mr. Dimbulb. 

She tells him to put his seatbelt on and she's very insistent. And then her car blows up and the building catches fire and it’s very dramatic. 

Her buddy's like wtf there were people in there and Karli says, "This is the only language these people understand." ARGH. Who people? Why is bombing them the only language they understand? Like, in this show, the GRC have literally DONE NOTHING. Nothing we’ve seen and nothing we’ve heard. At least have people chat about dark and dire rumors or something. Hell, they haven’t even been accused of doing anything other than ‘caring more about the people who returned than the ones who never left’ which is literally their job. sighing all night long. Maybe they’re horrible and evil and the Worst Thing Ever. But I DON’T KNOW THAT, because nothing in the show has bothered to establish that. 

ANYWAY

Riga, a city on the Baltic Sea

The trio are walking down the street, Zemo expositing for us again. Sokovia was apparently swallowed by neighboring countries, erased from the map. "I don't suppose any of you bothered visiting the memorial? Of course not. Why would you?"

Bucky's looking not happy. Probably remembering '64. They get to Zemo's place and Bucky says he's going to go on a walk. Zemo and Sam go on ahead and Bucky watches until they're out of sight and he circles back and finds a beeping thingy on the ground. He notices something across the street. Ah another round beepy thing. Now he's collecting them. He steps into an alley and says, "You dropped something". Nobody immediately appears.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up." And he turns around and it's one of the Dora Milaje. She looks unhappy and she’d like to know where Zemo is. Yeah, the Wakandans are not just gonna let Zemo wander free. That's a sticky situation you got yourself in, White Wolf.

Credits.

Well, I really enjoyed the bits that didn't contain the Flag Munchers or Captain Tool. Do better with your world-building, people.

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 40 Pt 1

Sildie woke refreshed, even if miss Lily was screaming her head off feeling anything but. “I’ll get her.” She chuckled as Gustaf went to move her off him to do exactly that.

“You sure?” He mumbled. She loved that half asleep voice, the crumpled look on his face that told her he’d slept and slept hard.

“I’m sure sleepy head.” Her kiss was sinful.

“Someone had a good night.” She heard the smirk in his voice and giggled.

“Yeah some guy fucked my brains out, he wasn’t bad.” His expression made her laugh as she threw her robe on. “You’re better.” She grinned and kissed him chastely.

“I should hope so.” He growled indignantly. “Otherwise I’d have to prove otherwise kitten.”

“Promise?” She teased, her lips brushing against his.

“Absolutely.” His grin was wicked before he devoured her mouth.

“Goodie.” She kissed him again before she sashayed away to rescue Lily from her wet diaper, the groan and thump of something heavy hitting the bed confirming he’d face planted into the pillow.

“You kill me love.” He called after her. “All those salacious curves.”

She changed and dressed Lily for the day, roused the boys and had them start to pack while she made breakfast, Brendan offered to supervise and she knew he was still a little shaken from yesterday. When she asked him about it he said that he and Gustaf had talked. Her man never ceased to amaze her, the way he just took care of things, explained things to the boys so they understood without freaking out.

Coming into the kitchen there he was, sweats slung low on his hips, those lower back dimples she adored in full view, simple white cotton tee, so normal yet so fucking sexy.

“Tea is steeping.” He said quietly as Lily squealed a dad dad and lunged for him. “And good morning to you too little lady.” He chuckled as Sildie handed her over, not that Lily gave her much of a choice in the matter.

So normal, she thought, and Ana doesn’t get to destroy this, she doesn’t get to take this from him, from us, she’s not worth it. She had to try harder for Gustaf, to not let her anxiety spiral as quickly as it did yesterday, he was trying, and she needed to do the same. Together, together they were stronger.

“That’s a lot of thinking going on in there.” He said gently, tapping her temple and kissing her, catching her unawares.

“Sorry.” She shook her head as if to clear the thought physically.

“You ok?” He asked, brow creasing in concern.

“Yeah, just reiterating to myself that she doesn’t get to destroy this and she’s not worth the effort of getting as upset as I did.” She shrugged. He left the pancake batter for the moment and crossed to her, pulling her in for a hug.

“No she doesn’t.” He toyed with the wisps of hair that hung at her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too and I’m so ready to eat, get packed up, and get in the car and go.” She kissed him sweetly and he smiled, she was putting it behind them where it belonged. “Just a blip. I freaked out yesterday, but she’s just a blip and we need to move past it.”

“Just a blip.” He murmured and kissed her, that longing making her go weak at the knees.

“Or you could just kiss me like that again.” She sighed, his chuckle making her smile when he did exactly that.

“Anything for you my love.” He grinned devouring her mouth a third time. He smooched Lily after she made a fuss until she crumpled against him giggling. “And you too Lily bear.” Turning back to the pancake batter Lily helped stir in the milk while Sildie poured the tea.

She took over cooking the pancakes as Lily was determined dad dad was her go to person of the morning and would not be denied cuddles and kisses and the mans undivided attention. “I’ll go and start packing for this monster.” He said softly and kissed the back of her neck causing her to shiver.

“Sounds good.” They were becoming a team she realized, still a little disjointed, but better than it had been when they lived in separate apartments. As she fussed around the kitchen making breakfast she smiled at the noise from the boys rooms, happy, excited noise. No tears, no sadness, no grief, just three boys that were finally having a childhood and making some memories.

Her phone pinged with an incoming text and she held her breath as she opened it. Leon.

Some good news for you at last, they remanded her in custody, no bail. Trial is set for February 16. She’ll be cooling her jets in a cell for a few weeks. The judge was not amused.

She let out an explosive breath and grinned. Some justice at long last. But she knew what the judge wasn’t amused by, the potential to walk on a deal.

Thanks for the update Leon. We’re out of town for the next ten days. Let’s touch base when I’m back to work?

Sounds good. I’ll copy Lindstrom, make sure you contact him when you get back into town. This will undoubtedly pull you and Lucas into it, maybe Gustaf.

Absolutely. I’ll be emailing him here in a moment regardless. We are prepared for whatever comes.

Sounds good. Have a great break, god knows you deserve it.

Count on it. Thanks again, for everything.

She owed Leon more than he realized. The fact he’s found her charm was just the start.

“Why the grin that clearly says you’re the cat who ate the canary and got all her Christmases at once?” Gustaf chuckled as he came in a little while later with Lily chattering in his arms and her bag.

She turned her screen around and showed him the messages from Leon and watched a grin spread across his face.

“I’m not one to bask in another’s misfortune.” He said. “But, it’s about fucking time something went right for us.”

“It’s only just beginning love, but this is a damn good start.” She kissed him fiercely.

“A long road ahead huh.” It wasn’t a question, because he knew damn well this was just the start of the shit storm that was brewing.

“I guess we’ll see. I’m not celebrating just yet.” She said chewing on her lip, brain going a mile a minute.

“Fair point.” He kissed her tenderly, the action freeing her lip and pulling her thoughts away from their destination of work. “Let it go now love.” The pleading look in his eyes had her drop all those toxic thoughts in a heartbeat. “We both need to let it go for now.” He smiled at her nod.

“You’re right. Letting it go. We have snowball fights to organize, marshmallows to toast, giggles and smiles to enjoy.” She said blowing out a breath and grinned.

“Amongst other things.” The goofy wiggle of his eyebrows had her chuckling.

Once breakfast was ready they sat as a family around the table, eating and laughing, throwing around ideas and what activities they were going to do at the cabin. With full bellies the kids helped Gustaf pack the car while Sildie packed her own clothes, got an email off to Lindstrom, and sorted the snacks. Car packed, children buckled in, Gustaf looked over the top of the car at her and let out a breath. “We got everything?” He grinned, it had been a flurry of non stop activity all morning.

“Kids, clothes, food, and most importantly, you sweet man. It’ll have to be everything or we’re never going to get out of here.” She snorted.

“Exactly what I was thinking.” He was almost bouncing with excitement to get going like the big kid at heart he was. She loved seeing this side of him carefree and happy.

They were finally in the car and on their way before she noticed it hanging from the rear view mirror. The ribbon still stained with red paint, the charm needing a good clean and a little worse for wear, but it was there, where it belonged. He hadn’t gone out and replaced it just to make her happy. He’d found a way to find it, to right the wrong of another human. To maintain a piece of her brother, a man he never knew. She reached up a hand to brush a finger over it and looked at him, her eyes welling with tears of gratitude. He got it, he got her, and what she needed, what that one little gesture meant to her and the kids.

His quick glance at her before snagging her hand and kissing her fingers had her smile through the tears. That smile was all the thanks he needed before he lightly held onto her hand as he drove. The grief was there but she seemed more at ease with it now. Allowing it to surface and be there but not overwhelm her or send her spiraling into despair.

A few hours later they arrived, his best girls fast asleep, the twins quietly chatting, Brendan with his nose in a book. He felt the stress leave him as the boys climbed out of the car, all the anger and frustration from the past week melting off him. He sighed, the snowy landscape in front of him consuming every ounce of stress and bitterness. It had only been a week yet it felt like a year. “Brendan can you get the twins inside? Maybe choose your rooms and then come grab the bags?”

“Sure.” The teen rounded up his brothers and they headed inside to explore.

“Don’t wander too far.” He called.

“We won’t.” The three of them answered.

“Masters of mischief.” He mumbled as he rounded the front of the car grinning. “They’ll be in the snow hurling it at each other in minutes.” He chuckled. It reminded him of Alex, Sam, and Bill when they were kids, always getting into something they weren’t supposed to.

Opening the the passenger door he crouched down and grazed his knuckles along Sildie’s cheek, her sharp inhale as she woke telling him she had been out cold.

“I’m up.” She mumbled.

“You crashed.” He chuckled. “Must be the mountain air.” She could hear the humor in his voice.

“Must be, or it was the mind blowing sex I had last night.” She said softly, that face she thought, they broke the mold when they made him. Eyes of ocean blue and a sinful poets mouth.

“I wear you out kitten?” He growled, that tone he knew made her wet.

“Not complaining.” She snorted.

“The boys are exploring the cabin.” He said seeing the question on her face at the quiet in the car. “I was about to get Lily out and then get the boys to help start hauling everything in.”

“I’ll get Lily, take her in.” She said as he stood and opened the back door.

“I’ll go and see what mischief the boys have found then. It’s way too quiet in there.” He chuckled, kissing her cheek quickly before going to hunt down the boys.

The kids had found mischief, already outside having a snowball fight which was why the cabin was so quiet. Rounding them up, all smiles and giggles, they helped Gustaf unpack the car while Sildie took Lily inside and put her down for the rest of her nap.

As it was well past lunch time Sildie started to prepare an early dinner as Gustaf took the kids exploring in and around the cabin, finding out where everything was and what the place had to offer. By the time they sat and ate the twins were already planning their day tomorrow.

“How about we each choose an activity for the day and all do it together?” She said watching them closely, half expecting the boys to balk at the idea of doing something she might want to do. She wanted them to do things as a family as much as possible this trip. Solidifying the bond between Gustaf and the boys was crucial, and for that, they needed time together. To talk, to fight, to laugh, to just do boy things with a man that wanted to be a father to them in every way possible.

“I like that.” Brendan said eating his sandwich. “We could write activities down on bits of paper and then choose them at random?” He shrugged.

“I like that idea even better.” Gustaf grinned. “Two activities each, and that’s what we can spend the day doing, or a few hours depending on how we all feel.”

“Whatever we want?” Liam grinned.

“Whatever you want.” Gustaf knew exactly where his devious little mind was going.

“You may regret that decision later.” Sildie muttered and smirked at him over the top of her teacup.

“Quite possibly.” Gustaf snickered as he sipped his tea, the boys just grinned at him. Oh he was in so much trouble, he thought. He was expecting them to gang up on him and had to remember to wear a base layer and turtleneck, to stop the snow going down the back of his neck, because he knew that one was coming. Once he’d finished eating, Gustaf found a pens and paper and had the boys write their two activities down. They scrunched each one into a little ball and tossed it in a salad bowl Sildie had found in the cupboard.

“Ok, let me grab Lily and then we each draw two out of the bowl.” Sildie said as she went to collect Lily, the little lady starting to make a fuss. The boys were giggling when she came back in the room. “What are you up to?” She asked knowing something was afoot, the wink from Gustaf asking her to just play along.

“Alright, youngest to oldest, Finn you’re up.” Gustaf said as Sildie fixed Lily a bottle, the tiny child snuggled in close to her mum mum.

“I got, hiking.” He said and put it on the table as Gustaf wrote it down, that would be a good one for tomorrow while the weather was still nice, he thought.

“Snowboarding.” Liam said excitedly. “That was one of mine.” His grin was wide.

“Well we’ll all get to have a go now.” Gustaf chuckled.

“Build a snow family.” Brendan laughed and Sildie smirked, that was one of hers.

“You’re up love.” Gustaf said.

“No, you are. I’m older than you.” Her chuckle playful.

“Snow fort.” He said looking at her, that desire for her flooding through him.

Her hand dipped into the bowl. “Snowball fight.” She said. “Well that was a given.” She added with a snort. “Go again Finn.”

“What about Lily?” He said quietly.

“I think Lily will be happy with whatever we’re all doing love.” She said gently. “Maybe we can have a Lily safe snowball fight like we did before.” He smiled and nodded, face lighting up.

“Snowball fight.” He giggled holding it up. Liam’s hand dived in to reveal another snowball fight as did Brendan and Gustaf.

“I think I’ve been played.” She muttered with a huge smile on her face as she pulled out another snowball fight.

“A little.” Gustaf’s wink make her laugh, that laugh he adored as he wrote them down in order that they came out of the bowl. “The weather should be nice tomorrow for a hike.”

“What should we pack for lunch?” Sildie asked.

“Picnic.” Liam said bouncing in his seat. “With cookies.”

“With cookies.” Gustaf chuckled. “Can’t forget the cookies.” She loved that smile, the one that said I don’t have a care in the world except for the people in this room. He was relaxing already, the stress and anxiety starting to melt away. Those crows feet she had a weakness for out in full bloom.

“Keykey.” Lily squealed as she reached for Gustaf.

“Yes little lady, lots of cookies.” He plucked her off Sildie’s lap and kissed her until she giggled, his scruff tickling her, tiny hands tapping his face.

They spent the late afternoon settling in, just taking time to relax and unwind. Bathed and in pajamas, the twins had their heads together formulating a plan for the epic snowball fight. Brendan had curled up on the couch with a book, and Gustaf did the same in the one seat with Lily in his lap happily snuggled in chattering and playing with her toys, Gustaf reading to her quietly. Sildie had slipped away to soak in the tub, a time to unwind, to start her vacation off right. She could hear him reading and the tone of his voice soothed her. “I could listen to him talk all night.” She sighed, sinking up to her neck in hot water. There was something about his voice that always set her mind at ease and calmed the raging storm of her thoughts and emotions. This was a different tone to the one he used in the bedroom, but both equally arousing in their own way.

She cleared her mind, let all the events of the past week come to the surface, acknowledged the way they made her feel and let them go. Sent them out into the ether for the universe to take care of. It was her own form of meditation, one she’d let slide since her brother died and she needed to get back in the habit of letting shit go. As her mind cleared from all the anxiety and stress, she thought to the future, their future. About making partner and what that would mean for her, for them as a family. With Gustaf’s help she knew she’d be able to handle it, even if in the beginning it would be a learning curve. “I can do it though, with him beside me I can do it.” She knew she could do it without him, but with him would be so much easier. She would hopefully make partner and get her career back on track.

Gustaf had saved them from spiraling out of control, from drowning in grief and despair, and in turn they had saved each other. It was time to put the grief aside and live life, she decided. She couldn’t allow it to consume her as it had over the past year. This was a new year, a time for new beginnings, a time to become a family and figure out their future together. “No more wallowing in your own self pity, they’re all grieving. But it’s time to move forward.” She muttered. “There’s a life to start living, with a beautiful sweet man in it.” She smiled at that thought, her man, their family, a future together. “Mine.” She said softly. “He’s mine.” Her throat choked up with emotion. “Only mine.”

Gustaf looked around the living room. A happy Lily curled up with him playing and talking in her own way quite content, Brendan with his nose in a book, the twins formulating their attack strategy for the snowball fight. Normal, no grief in sight, and genuinely happy. Sure, he knew it was there just below the surface, but they were healing, the sorrow not as all consuming as it was when he’d rescued a few wayward oranges at their door. They would continue to grieve, he just hoped he’d made it easier for them to process and to think about a future where it didn’t rule their lives. “One step at a time huh Lily bear?” He muttered quietly. “Slow and steady.” The tiny girl snuggled into him, the affection and unconditional love she gave melting his heart.

He let his mind wander to Sildie, their future, as a family, as a couple. Marriage kept springing to the forefront of his mind. He never thought he’d contemplate marriage again after Hanna, but with Sildie it was different. He was different. Would she want to get married? Could he be the husband she deserved? He wanted it like his next breath, to give himself to her completely, commit himself to her, to the kids. He glanced at the three boys, what would they think about it, he wondered? “Maybe I’ll have to ask them.” He mumbled against Lily’s temple, kissing her softly. “I already know where you stand on the matter young lady.” He chuckled and Lily squealed a dad dad as Gustaf’s scruff tickled her cheek as he kissed the little girl.

Maybe kids of their own, he thought. He wanted kids with her, no question about it. “That’s her choice though isn’t it little lady?” He kissed Lily’s head. “Her body, her choice. And she already told me where she stood on the matter in the very beginning.” He mumbled. “It would be nice for you to have a playmate though, huh? A little Sildie to cuddle.” He grinned against the child’s hair as he imagined a child with Sildie’s copper hair and ice blue eyes. “Or a little Gustaf you can boss around.” His soft chuckle made him grin wider. “I’m such a sap.” He whispered and Lily hugged him right. “I want everything with her Lily, absolutely everything.”

“Mum mum, dad, dad, dad.” She chattered softly.

“Exactly.” He kissed her head and went back to reading, oddly feeling more relaxed about it after chatting with his pint sized shrink.

Sildie pulled herself out of the tub and dressed in her pajamas. She felt loose and relaxed, much like she’d soaked all the stress off her body and let it swirl down the drain. Her mind had finally quietened, her thoughts drifting along now instead of zooming a mile a minute like they had been.

Padding out to the living room she smiled at the scene, such serenity, it choked her up. She started to make some hot chocolate from scratch, the one she usually saved for Christmas or special occasions. To her this was a special occasion, their first vacation together, the calmness that had settled over all of them was something to be acknowledged. “Who’s up for toasting some marshmallows?” She said softly and instantly had three boys at her side, the fourth standing behind her, Lily in his arms, a hand circling her hips. “You guys will need to find some toasting forks or skewers.” She chuckled as they raced off to do exactly that as Gustaf kissed the nape of her neck.

“You smell nice.” He purred, tongue teasing the dip at her collarbone.

“I’m all warm and soft too.” She murmured, her hand reaching back to rest against his thigh pulling him closer, the nuzzle against her neck making her weak at the knees. Her man knew exactly how to turn her entire system to goo.

The boys bounded back in, Brendan holding up some toasting forks he’d found in the mud room closet, those grins wide. It had been a long time since she’d seen them this happy, saw those smiles bloom in genuine joy not just putting on a brave face.

“Lily and I will stoke the fire, we need embers to toast marshmallows properly.” He kissed her quickly before heading over to the open fireplace.

Once the fire was happily crackling in the hearth they all sat around it as if it were an outdoor campfire. The six of them in pj’s or sweats, hot chocolate with an abundance of cream and marshmallow, and giggles, lots of giggles as they talked about snow forts and snowball fights. Gustaf telling stories of his childhood and the mischief him and his brothers got up to.

“Don’t give them ideas.” Sildie scolded, and he grinned at her. A boys childhood was nothing without mischief.

Sildie reminisced about her and Quinn as kids with their parents, much happier times, and good memories for the boys to have. She found it didn’t destroy her as much, sure it still gave her that ache in the chest, that longing to have them here, but she didn’t spiral. That’s what she needed to hold onto, those good happy memories, and she need to share them with the boys, with Gustaf. This was the way she needed to help them heal.

As the fire died down to embers they toasted their marshmallows.

“Nothing like the crispy outside, and a gooey inside.” Gustaf said as he blew on a little bit of marshmallow for Lily to taste. They’d all be on a sugar high for the next little while which was fine, they were on vacation, the everyday rules didn’t apply. He kicked back, Lily clinging to him as he read Harry while they finished the marshmallows and had another round of hot chocolate.

At nearly ten, Lily was asleep in Gustaf’s arms, and the twins were almost asleep curled up with Sildie as they listened to the story. “Time for bed I think.” Gustaf said gently as he watched Finn stifle another yawn at the end of the chapter.

“I think so too. Hiking tomorrow and a picnic.” She stood and helped the boys to their feet following them to the rooms they’d chosen to sleep in. Finn broke away from Sildie and rushed back to hug Gustaf tightly, Lily barely stirred.

“Love you dad.” He said quietly and Gustaf felt his throat tighten, it sucker punched him every time.

“Love you too. Get some sleep.” He watched Finn go and let out a careful breath. “I doubt I’m ever going to get used to hearing that.” He muttered to Lily as he got to his feet and carried her to bed.

With the boys settled and Gustaf dealing with Lily, Sildie set her phone to play some slow jazz in their room as she stared out the window into the night. This was the peace she craved for them and hoped one day soon they’d feel it in their own home. She heard him close the door, his soft steps to her before those arms wrapped her up, his scent equally comforting. Turning she swayed, his hands fitting her against him just right.

“I love dancing with you.” He said softly. “It was like we were made for it, you fit just right.” He kissed her temple and lingered, her scent filling his mind. Home, love, peace.

“I love it too. Just this, nothing fancy, just you and me and some good music. It’s perfect.” She said softly and rested her head against his shoulder, her thoughts drifting nowhere in particular.

“The only thing that would make it better would to be naked.” He said a while later, the soft growl making her chuckle.

“Then you’d better take care of that then.” She teased.

Gentle fingers aroused as they peeled the sweats and pajamas from each other. Both naked, he danced her around the room, slow and soothing until she was almost asleep on her feet.

“Into bed love.” He said tenderly and kissed her brow before helping her in. She snuggled in and kissed him, love and need pouring from her. Rolling, he pressed her into the mattress, the feel of those lush curves against him making him harden. “I can never get enough of you.” He murmured. “My goddess.” Her legs wrapped around his slim hips and she drew him closer, an invitation to slip inside. To claim each other. With a gentle thrust he buried himself to his hilt in her wet heat their mutual groans mixing with the jazz.

Her hands roamed that well honed body, all the dips and valleys that made him irresistible as his hips flexed, cock filling her. He made love to her, the gentle push and pull as their bodies intertwined and danced together. She came with a soft sigh, her release rolling over her taking the last of the stress from her body. He joined her in pleasure a moment later when he came with her name on his lips. Curling her in to him, she went lax in his arms. “Sleep love.” His smile wide.

“Gustaf?” She mumbled, hovering on the edge of sleep.

“Mmmm?”

“I’m so in love with you.” She slurred.

“You’re my everything Sildie, sleep now.” He switched the music off and let the silence of the cabin soothe him to sleep, peace at long last.

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector @lihikainanea @fay-walden @nandadb

[real-jaune-isms]

RWBY Volume 7 Chapter 9 Rundown

I felt very satisfied for the first 90% of this episode but then I got kinda annoyed in the literal final 40 seconds before the credits. But that’s just my own growing agitation for Cinder, so it’s fine. We’ll get to that later.

There isn’t exactly a very happy vibe at the start of the chapter though, as it opens on the cold streets of Mantle as the cold is now likely setting in something fierce and people have realized the heat is gone. As Maria and Pietro welcome folks into the shelter of his pharmacy, some of those inside wonder if this same problem is affecting Atlas as well, and if this dangerous change was done intentionally by the city on high. The two kind elders stare up at Atlas with growing concern.

In the dinning room once more, the council continues to bring up criticisms that have been leveled at Ironwood, specifically that he has two council seats. He tries to counter there are checks and balances to make sure he doesn’t misuse his authority, but they interject that he has been ignoring those regulations and making major decisions all on his own. The General tries to defend himself and say he had no intention of running amiss of the rules, but Councilman Sleet reminds him that intention and action are not always the same and his actions have been wrong. Speaking of making wrong decisions without meaning to, a faunus servant comes in to whisper concerning news in Jacques ear, presumably that the SDC Heating Grid has been off for a while and people are freezing. And it was done on his authorization. Guess Watts just loves to frame people. As Jacques urges the staff member to check the system again and grows visibly concerned, Sleet notices he’s not paying attention and pulls him back into the conversation. He tries to act like he knows what’s going on and agrees with what Sleet was saying, then claims he has no further concerns or questions. But Robyn is by no means done yet, badgering Ironwood about all his secrecy and fears that he refuses to share with the council. He says he fears Atlas becoming a tragic site like Vale or attacked like Haven, but she knows there’s more to it and wants to use her lie detector Semblance to force the truth out of him and test if he’s hiding something. The pressure is palpable, and we know he wants to be more open after the talk he had with Oscar...

But then the door behind Jacques slams open to reveal Weiss with a Phoenix Wright worthy OBJECTION to this one sided accusation. She knows the real culprit for the killing of anti-Ironwood speakers, and the fraudulent election, and she claims Jacques not only knows him in name but knows him personally. With such an accusatory prelude she sets Willow’s Scroll on the table and projects the video big enough that Camilla and Sleet can recognize Arthur Watts, who was thought to be dead since the “Paladin Incident” years ago. Papa Schnee feigns confusion and ignorance, but Daddy Ironwood stands in steely determination and tells Weiss to play the video. It shows the tail-end of Jacques conversation with the bad Doctor, how he hates Ironwood for the embargo and wishes he could fire everyone to save money, and we get to see just what Watts had in mind for Jacques to have his cake and eat it too. Watts is pissy and petulant that Ironwood disgraced him despite his genius contributions and wants to return the humiliation he received ten-fold. All Jacques has to do is give Watts his login for the Atlas Network and promise he’ll make ol’ Jimmy’s life a nightmare, and Watts will manipulate the polls to guarantee he gets that Council seat. Robyn seems very pissed off to learn the voting was rigged and she would have actually won like she had hoped. Jacques, or at least the version in the video, is delighted at the offer and commends Watts for his cutthroat “business” strategy. Ironwood has had enough of this, and Weiss stops the video so they can all glare at Jacques. He tries to get up to run and claims the video is fake. Sleet tells him to SIT. BACK. DOWN. but instead he bolts for the door only to find Weiss’ Knight standing guard and ready to take him down. By the power vested in her by the Kingdom of Atlas, Weiss arrests her father for treason... but maybe she doesn’t actually have the power to do that? It’s unclear but I definitely hope she can. Her entire relationship with her father has been based on him having power and control over her, her wanting to earn his approval and remain on his good side or suffer the consequences of his rage. The crux of her character arc has been recognizing her old way of living was unacceptable and finding ways to get free of that control and influence to become her own strong person. Now, through her hard work, she has more power than him and he has to do what she says or suffer the consequences of his actions against justice. But on the other hand you have to wonder what legal authority Huntsmen have to make arrests and the like. They’re not military or police officers, but they do handle more dangerous threats than the common man. If their job involves apprehending human criminals then they probably would be sanctioned to make arrests. To draw reference to another of my favorite shows, perhaps they are akin to deputized vigilantes like Green Arrow and his team on Arrow? They have specialized skills with which to handle threats the regular military and police aren’t trained enough for.

But breaking off from that topic and back down to one such criminal, Watts is standing on the street catching a snowflake in the palm of his glove before he sees people looting a store that I SWEAR is called Dust in the Wind. Desperate civilians have already started burning things to create a big enough fire so they can keep warm, and a few stolen Fire Dust crystals get thrown in to make it really flare up. Atlas soldiers are watching on and requesting advice on what to do. Glad they’re not stopping them forcefully since no one really knows the procedure for all the heat not working and this being the only way to live in warmth at the moment. Watts relishes in the chaotic moment and is joined by Tyrian.

We go back to the dining room where the adults stand around a sitting Jacques to continue interrogating him while the teens stand off to one side. As Ironwood berates the still defensive Schnee for stooping for such disgraceful lengths to get what he couldn’t fairly earn, Clover gets a blip in his earpiece and walks away to take the message, likely about the freezing crisis. Jacques warns Ironwood he’ll hurt his knees if he keeps jumping to such wild conclusions, but no avail. Better switch condiments, cuz that weak sauce ain’t working on the General. Now that he knows Watts is around and willing to cause trouble, all the loose ends are tying together quite smoothly. Since he made the Mantle security network he would know exactly how to manipulate it and work with Tyrian to do such violent acts and frame good people for it. Penny still seems pretty upset over her tarnished reputation because of that. And to top all of the scandalous deeds of Arthur Watts off, all of that was just to help Jacques cheat through the election. I should like to note that as Ironwood is giving Jacques the works he is backed by a smirking portrait of an armored Nicholas Schnee, as if even now the founder of this great company of his is amused by just how badly his son in law has fucked up royal. Jacques didn’t even consider the consequences of his alliance, he only saw the way it benefited him. There is blood on his hands for this, and he needs to be held accountable in a court of law for both his treason against the safety of his kingdom and the lives it lost. He is of course very much against this idea, all he intended was to win the election after all! But like Councilman Sleet said earlier, what you intend and what you are responsible for doing are not always the same thing. An excuse like that is not enough, and Robyn is physically enraged that he would try to trivialize the deaths of good people, to the point that she throws a chair across the room. Councilwoman Camilla asks the important question, what will Watts be able to do with the power Jacques gave him? They can only speculate into the grim infinitudes, until all their scrolls start buzzing with the concrete facts of just what he’s done. The heat is off, and Jacques can’t even log in to fix it anymore since Watts took his account and locked him out. The bastard tries to save his own hide and distance himself from the situation by saying he didn’t know Watts was planning this, but Winter tells him to SHUT. UP. and fix the heating grid, but he reveals what I did just now about no longer having access. Sleet voices the depressing obvious as Ironwood stares at his scroll and Robyn looks out the window, both in solemn concern: if the heat doesn’t come back on people WILL die. Ruby tries to get the General’s mind off of desperate what-ifs to focus on the facts of how things are right now. Since they know whose credentials Watts is using they can follow his network activity, but he would now have the ability to find out about the Amity project and get into its network. Fortunately, he hasn’t looked hard enough yet so neither he or Salem know about it. Weiss asks if they can lock the good doctor out, but he’s already set to work blocking their access instead. They can’t exactly trace him if he’s on the move so they need to lure him out so they can get to his access point. Robyn interjects, since she has been listening to all this cryptic talk and planning with no one paying any mind to her still being in earshot, that people as vastly different as Tyrian and Watts banding together seems rather farfetched without some larger factor. Their unanimous decision to go after Ironwood in particular seems even stranger with only one of them having much motive, and she still doesn’t get why Ironwood is keeping the Amity Tower a secret. James is quite shocked that she even knows about that, and I’m sure Blake and Yang will have a rather sheepish confession to make. 

But we don’t see that, because instead we bear witness to Atlesian Knight robots being sent in to dispel the rioters gathered around the massive fire. But as Pietro and Maria watch on in silent shock, the people of Mantle lash out hard at these cold metal symbols of a cold ruling society and smash two of the robots. But these heated emotions are the tipping point and the streets start lighting up red to warn the civilians. Grimm are coming, and they are coming in mass. Mammoth-like Megoliaths and swiftly vicious Sabyrs are charging at the massive gap in the border wall, and the assembled Atlas soldiers and robots are not enough to hold the line, while Manta aircraft on bombing runs do nothing to slow the pack or thin the numbers. The Sabyrs are the first to get in and demolish the robots at ground level, and unidentified avian Grimm fly over the heads of the soldiers on top of the wall.

The scene shifts again from that chaos to the dining room again for a calmer moment of building faith, as Robyn admits she now sees just how much Ironwood is trying to protect with all the work he’s doing and the secrets that means keeping. She recognizes he has genuine fear for what will happen if the truth comes out. But the moment is stalled there as Clover and Oscar burst in to inform everyone about the Grimm swarming into Mantle, and how the airfleet can’t do much of anything or else it might result in civilian casualties. Ironwood goes back into beard-stroking panic mode, this is precisely what he hoped wouldn’t happen. Clover urges him to send in ground support to handle the Grimm within the city, but Robyn insists nowhere in the city will be safe if it gets completely overrun. Evacuating people up to Atlas with the airfleet should be their priority. But Daddy Ironwood has to raise his voice, he can’t move the fleet for any evacuation measures or else Atlas would be vulnerable instead. He worked so hard to keep everyone safe, and it’s all falling to pieces in the worst way. But Oscar is there to offer his advice again, though Ironwood rudely rebuffs him that he doesn’t want that. He wants Ozpin’s advice, but Oscar tells him that’s not the fix all answer he wishes it were. Oz would have told him to keep secrets, but Ironwood already knew that wasn’t the right way to go and made his own new and better plan. That plan has failed, the General argues, but that just means the day he was preparing for is upon them already. It’s time to tell the truth and have faith that the world will accept it, starting with Robyn and the council. Ruby assures him, he will not be alone in this. That puts the wind back in his sails, and he starts making a plan. Oscar is probably best off going back to the Academy for safety, and Ironwood needs to have a talk with his critics. In the meantime, the huntresses and huntsmen need to head down into the fray to do what they do best. And that means everyone is coming, even Penny. They still trust and believe in her, and the people will too. Winter has a look of approval as Ruby starts calling the shots, she definitely sees growth from how unimpressive the young rose seemed at Beacon. Clover couldn’t have said it better himself, and they all go running out the door... past a servant who had been in the dining room a couple times last episode bringing in drinks. She watches the trained warriors all leave, and smirks. Creepy.

As everyone else heads out the door, Ruby and Oscar stop for a moment to try and talk, and of course they talk over each other and act like a couple of dorks. They both think that since Ironwood is revealing everything he knows, they ought to do the same. But a lot of the fans are just thinking how they seem like such a cute adorkable couple. Y’all know who I ship so I can’t say too much about this, but I do certainly think it’s fun how they get along so well and seem to be on the same wavelength. Anyway, Ruby wants to be the one to tell Ironwood but duty calls so it has to be Oscar. Marrow is not amused by their awkwardness, or by the fact that Ruby uses finger-guns. Still, the Ace Ops, Qrow, and the young huntsmen head down in an airship where Clover lays down a reminder that their priority is saving people not racking up a Grimm kill count. Ren seems very distressed, so Nora holds his hand and it seems to help a little. They both feel a bit safer being able to feel that they still have each other, and Blake and Yang share a look that seems to imply the same sentiment even if they’re not going to hold hands too. As the ship soars swiftly downward into the danger, we see a streak of danger soaring above them too.

Back to the political scene, Sleet and Camilla are quietly discussing the world changing whiplash they just had  from Ironwood telling them about Salem existing, and how they almost can’t believe it’s true but know he wouldn’t make something that serious up. Robyn, meanwhile, is just staring at the ground as if thinking to herself “I know I asked what he was hiding, but I immediately regret asking”. She looks over to the closed door, and we cut to the other side to see the General in his own mind shattering crisis. Oscar told him everything they know about Ozma and Salem’s past, how as far as they know she’s immortal and they can’t do a damn thing to change that. He’s understandably upset that Ozpin kept this from all of them, you can almost hear anguish and sadness in his voice, but Oscar affirms that it was for the sake of keeping hopes alive so they would stay motivated. Oscar also apologizes on behalf of RWBY and co. for likewise keeping it a secret, but they just didn’t know who could be trusted to know. Of all people Ironwood would understand that. But now was the time to bare it all, before anything terribly important was lost for good. It might be too late for that though, Ironwood’s hope seems pretty broken now. The poor boy tries to make sure the General is okay, to see what he’s going to do now that he knows all this, and for a second it seems like even he doesn’t know. But his head finds a firm place back on his shoulders and his gaze returns to the task at hand. Grand scheme matters will have to wait, they need to save Mantle. Oscar seems proud, says Ozpin would be too. Atlas is providing the hope it was always meant to, since such a marvel of ingenuity and power is supposed to be held to standards matched only by its altitude. I’m paraphrasing, but the way Oscar says it seems all too familiar to Ironwood, as if he was there to see Atlas get its start. It would seem there’s more of Ozpin in Oscar than even he realizes, or maybe there hasn’t been much Oscar himself in there for a little while?... But we don’t have time for that, because their transports have arrived and they need to go. The two agree that neither of them could handle any more surprises, but it’s the huntsmen and huntresses who are in for the surprise. 

A new Grimm called a Teryx that as you would expect resembles a pterodactyl has latched onto the ship and no matter what fancy flying Harriet does to shake it loose it’s not budging. All that comes of it is Jaune starting to get airsick for the first time since Volume 1 and the Grimm moving around to the starboard side and digging its talons into the wall, right between Blake and Yang’s heads. Any further to either side and one of them might have died. The news only gets worse as another Teryx dive bombs them and damages the starboard engine. They all agree now would be a good time to bail and just get to the ground, and Clover opens the side door... on the side where the Grimm is. As his copious luck would have it, the damaged engine breaks loose and takes the Teryx down in a ball of flame so they’re safe to jump. As the kids start jumping, Elm playfully tells Harriet not to stay on board too much longer and she responds with sarcastic thanks. Not friends my ass, they all get along so well! Harriet decides to be a little extra with her exit and punches the windshield to go out onto the roof, inviting Ruby to try and keep up. Ruby gives a smile with more purity than distilled mountain spring water and follows her. Clover and Qrow are the last to jump, and Clover tries to show off a little for his boyfriend.

We go back to Schnee Manor for the last time as Jacques is being taken away by soldiers and Willow watches from the front door. Whitley is sitting sadly on the stairs alone, and Willow looks over to him with a slight smile. Clearly, she feels like the worst is behind them and hopefully they can try to be a real family now, but he runs away up the stairs. I don’t blame the poor kid, he feels like he has no one now. His mom has always preferred to drown her despair in liquor over being a present parental figure, and his sisters see him as an annoyance whom they never give the time of day. His father was the only one who showed him any attention or guidance, and that was so he could mold the boy in his image. He played along and did as he was told because no one else was there for him to give him much choice. Whitley probably wants to get along and be cared about by his sisters, but they thought the worst of him because he chose to listen to the father they wanted nothing to do with. Its a tragedy of circumstances, and it gives new context to lots of old scenes. The poor kid probably was kinda hurt that Weiss didn’t even say hello or show joy in seeing him again when she arrived for the party last episode. I definitely hope these two can recover and find a happier life. But as Jacques is brought to the armored truck, complaining all the way, we instead focus on a member of the staff leaving rather nonchalantly: the same young woman we saw smirking at everyone leaving earlier. She even starts skipping and if you couldn’t tell the twist already the familiar creepy music should make it obvious; Neo is already in Atlas, and if she’s here then Cinder can’t be far behind. Neo goes to a locked room in an unknown building with wall to wall windows showing the city outside, and sure enough there’s the fiery cockroach herself waiting for her companion’s return. Neo was in disguise to do recon since Cinder would stick out too much in a crowd, and it seems she found what they’re looking for. That sounds quite ominous and troublesome, and I’m a little annoyed that at the first sign of the new interesting villains getting exposed and being in our heroes crosshairs we return to the old villains who’re still trying the same old shtick. Still, at this point they almost feel like the Pilaf gang from original Dragon Ball, once the worst thing our heroes had to deal with but are now practically comedy relief villains who still think they’re the top threat. I’m not that mad, I just don’t much like Cinder and her nefarious schemes anymore. Still, doesn’t detract from the great satisfying episode.

[efortmanteau]

TMA Headcanons

I sort of spoiled myself in terms of headcanons for The Adventure Zone, so now I try to finish/get caught up on podcasts and form impressions entirely in my head before introducing visual ideas via fanart. And lately I've been focusing on The Magnus Archives SOOOO here we go:

My headcanons for The Magnus Archives. A few were originally written after listening through s2. I've added my s3 thoughts below characters or in a new section. I'm only 3 episodes in to s4 so no spoilers after the end of s3.

Jon (I only recently discovered that there's no H in his spelling, whoops) aka The Archivist - Obviously Jon doesn't really have fun ever, so the main word I think of is 'austere.' He's a pale white guy with dark hair and greyish or brownish eyes who basically always dresses formally--collared shirts, slacks, maybe even vests, usually neutral colors. He's thin, but not fit--just the type of guy who doesn't put on weight since he doesn't focus much on food. Rectangular face, maybe has facial hair… I haven't decided, but if he does, it's like a goatee/mustache scenario that's always well trimmed. In my mind, he's young to mid 30s, but could look older. When he's scared or disshevelled though, he looks a lot younger. I think he's also kind of short, maybe 5'8", so he keeps really good posture to make up for it. Ben Whishaw is almost right, but he'd have to be homelier. S3 updates: Not really any? Although apparently it's Jon without an H. I've confirmed that he looks older than he is since the spider picturebook episode (which I would love Don Hertzfeld to animate, perhaps with assistance from Jules Feiffer who is 90 gd years old… that episode is so vivid in my head). Also I forgot Jon has worm… scars? Pock-marks? Not sure how that works, but you probably don't see them much, given I can't imagine him in short sleeves or shorts, although maybe he has a few on his neck visible pretty frequently, above collars. I'm was pleased to learn he is canonically asexual, but not all that surprised. Something about the way he interacted with Georgie in her apartment had me wondering… maybe it reminds me of me and my ex (I'm the asexual one, my ex isn't, but we still get along).

Martin - I immediately imagined Marty (Terry Gross Waters-Waters SAT tutor in Gayle) when I learned more about soft, sweet lad Martin, so Matty Cardarople has always kind of been in my head. That is probably just a similar name situation, but it's kind of perfect. Since Martin said he wasn't the smallest of guys but still made it into a basement window, I imagine he's kind of tall and chubby, but doesn't seem tall, slouchy, not the most confident person. Sort of a Neville Longbottom situation (before the glow-up). I think somewhere between Matty and Nick Robinson is around the correct appearance: a little more clean shaven and formally dressed than Matty often is with shorter hair (but still flippy), but softer than Nick is. This guy wears sweaters a lot. I guess he's canonically 29 at the end of s1--I had imagined him in his mid 20s somewhere, but I guess he was pretending to be older since he claimed he had a master's degree. S3 updates: Martin is probably the one who was most easy for me to imagine. I never really thought of his fixation on Jon to be a crush, which I'm really intrigued by in terms of character development. I was parsing it more of Martin being a bit of a subservient character, that he was like that to everyone in the office, but we only saw it from Jon's POV as the primary narrator. If I do a re-listen, I'll be very interested to pick out some Martin/Jon moments now that I have a different context.

Sasha (or maybe Sascha) - I sort of had Sally Donovan from BBC's Sherlock in mind initially. I tried to stray away from that and looked up "half black actress." I picked out Zawe Ashton without even realizing that she had in fact played Sally (in one episode, so not her main actress) because of her hair and skin and the fact that her face is pleasant, but not the typical hyper-button baby doll face that some actresses have. Sasha has natural hair with light curls (sometimes straightened). I originally pictured a small afro, but I think in s2, they refer to her as having long hair, so I guess not? I'm also not clear if that was Not-Sasha imitating her, or just straight up not looking like real-Sasha at all. She's slim, pretty posh/minimalist in style--grey herringbone peacoat, umbrella, boots. I imagine she's half Russian heritage-wise, since is a common Russian diminutive for Aleksandra. I would put her in the 25-27 age range. S3 updates: I caught on to Not-Sasha (partially because I saw the name in the voice actor credits, whoops), but I think I also caught something in Lottie's flat affect that clued me in. I thought that the imposter was just good at disguise, not that people had been cursed to forget what real Sasha looked like, so Melanie's introduction and take on Sasha/Not-Sasha threw me off a bit. I don't remember if the "long hair" comment was for real- or Not-Sasha. But I don't have any headcanons about Not-Sasha… just that she looks nothing like the original.

Tim - In my head Tim is the tallest main character, maybe 6'2", and pretty fit. He's imposing at first glance, but since he's so congenial and laid back (at least in s1 before Jon totally pisses him off) everyone who knows him knows he's a nice, fun guy. He's black, with fairly dark complexion, short hair, clean shaven. He probably wears sweaters too, but like… the thinner kind. None of this bulky knit from grandma that Martin rocks. I first think of Alan from Russian Doll (Charlie Barnett), but darker, just black instead of more mixed. I'd say he's around Jon's age. S3 updates: RIP in pepperinos. I guess him being fit is not unreasonable since he is… canonically? (does Alex and Jonny joking about it make it canonical) an outdoorsy adventurer. I certainly missed his friendly nature, but my headcanons didn't really change. He just looked a lot more tired up until the end of s3.

Elias - He is older than the rest of them, I would guess in his 40s or 50s, but given that it's canon that he rose in the ranks kind of quickly, maybe he's not that old after all. I don't really have a good mental picture of him, maybe because I can't differentiate his voice from John's a lot of the time until I piece the context together. In my mind he has a beard and mustache though, kind of full, and maybe dirty blonde hair that's greying a bit. S3 updates: I wouldn't be surprised if he carried a cane that was actually a sword or a gun (I'm American, so having a gun seems very easy to me, so I'm not sure if that would be rare in England). Also, did I hear something about having a grey bun? Maybe I'm completely confusing it with something else, but I'm chuckling about man bun Elias.

Michael - Well, he isn't human… but he looks kind of like a really pale guy who is mishapen and thus wearing a lot of clothing at first glance? He probably wears a lot of clothes so you can't really make him out under the trench coat, scarf, hat, etc. (I might be confusing him with someone else). I think it's canon that his hands are large and maybe have too many bones. For some reason, Michael reminds me of tourmalinated quartz--black and white for the most part, striations cutting through the clearer crystal--sort of like a metaphor for how he kind of… dimension hops? Ends up where he isn't supposed to? I imagine striations of his appearance sort of blip in and out when you look at him based on the static he causes on recordings. S3 updates: I now know that he was an assistant to Gertrude. I guess my idea of his human form is basically the same color and demeanor, just not other-worldly in proportions and bone count. Probably the tall gangly type of white guy. ALSO I guess he's kind of Helen now…? I'll do a separate one for Helen.

---BREAK to add characters I didn't write about until the end of s3---

Basira - I assume she is a Muslim woman, based on her name. I imagine she wears a hijab. I picture her as Middle-Eastern, perhaps Iranian, but she could also be black (there are a fair amount of black Muslims in America, not sure if it's common in England). Other than the hijab, she's not very feminine in her styling. Being on the force probably means you want pretty functional, utilitarian garments. I don't remember if she talked in great detail about how she joined the police, whether it was straight from school, but in my mind she's late 30s.

Daisy - I think I recall she has a back tattoo? She's a murderer so she has a tough air about her, but she's also a subtle murderer, so nothing about her screams that she's dangerous… you just get that feeling, you know? I imagine a white lady, short blonde hair, blue eyes. Kind of like Brienne of Tarth, but more plain than ugly. She's maybe early to mid 40s. I'm not sure if her relationship with Basira is supposed to be romantic or not. I kind of prefer this weird closeness that doesn't always equate to trust given their specific experiences. Regardless, I imagine they are around the same age.

Melanie - Melanie is probably the youngest, early to mid 20s. Typical build and height, maybe a little chubby, but not unable to climb fences or anything (gotta hunt them ghosts). She has a short, asymmetrical bob, dark hair, but part is dyed a bright color of pink, purple, maybe green. I imagine she has a go-to windbreaker that has some neon colors.

Helen - I'm so sad that we had to lose Michael to gain Helen. I really love the Spiral and the characters we've met who are involved with them. Helen in my mind was a badass realtor, ready to close a deal, very driven… and that carried over into becoming SpiralHelen. She sort of outsmarted it with the locked door, didn't she? I can't imagine that's very common for humans/avatars to get the better of their entities. She seems really strong willed, so I'm excited to see where she goes as a human who is becoming an avatar. I think her personality translates into her being 40-something but like lowkey hot? She probably rocks a suit with a skirt in bold colors that men's wear usually doesn't offer (all over red suit, tailored to her, pumps, straight brown hair, nice makeup). I'm not sure how the Spiral would affect her… maybe her angles just get a little more pronounced? She's probably not yet to the point of disfiguration that Michael was anyway.

Georgie - She is like a terrier who will bark at a big dog because they don't know to be afraid of it (or… how to be afraid of it, in her case). She is short, 5'2" or less (I just remembered that a lot of the listeners probably use metric measurements, so sorry for that, but I'm not going to bother converting). I imagine she is cute--she dresses up for her dates to Hungarian restaurants (my favorite detail omg girl get it) and wants to look hot, but really she can't get away from cute. Brown curly hair, big brown eyes, button nose. But resting bitch face… gotta ward off those catcalls and get taken seriously somehow.

Jergen? I can’t spell, it’s Jurgen - Jowly white guy. Wispy caramelly colored hair that's going white. Probably pretty tall, which I'm sure what an annoyance in those tunnels.

Gertrude - At first glance, just some old white lady. But after you get to know her, you realize she can probably murder you and is nowhere near as frail as you think. Curly, wiry grey hair.

[redstarbonky]

tfatws ep 1 not-really-live liveblog (SPOILERS AHEAD! SPOILERS HERE! HERE BE SPOILERS!)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ok calm down

SAM SAM SAM SAM SAM SAMSAM SASMASAMSMASMASMAMSMSASMSMSSM

oh no is this a funeral scene? pls i'm going to vomit

when did they invent zippers? sorry, irrelevant question

please stop reminding me of endgame steve I KNOW IT'S UNAVOIDABLE i just can't emotionally rn

tunisia?! a pretty country

this was edited deceptively for the trailer >:| why would you lie to me like that!!!

dang they're only doing desert stuff. tunisia's coast is gorgeous and you should google it

"OMG," screamed the frenchman

oh batroc, we meet again!

redwing REDWING AAAAAAAAA redwing FIRING LASERS ekjsndkfgn. sorry i’m excited

GET EM SAM!!!!!!

freefall firefight wheeee

batroc has powerful legs

do a barrel roll!

i feel bad for vasant here...

oh heck choppers. go redwing go

jeez sam just murdered that dude

sam has powerful legs. yeah i know i just typed that.

this cliffy area is super cool, very star wars

is it hot to have that kind of thruster/jet/whatever fire near your butt? does falcon have specialty pants that protect his butt from the fire? i hope so

goodbye batroc. knowing that guy he's probably gonna show up later totally fine and working for another evil organization

urban tunisia is pretty too!

a lot of US military of a certain age know a little arabic...

a world without borders? sounds cool and good, can’t wait for anarchists to be the bad guys in this show funded by the united states military (i assume) 😗

stop talking about steve pls

"what are you doing there?" y'know. going to a funeral or something...

though maybe it’s not a funeral. otherwise i feel like bucky would be here in this crowd shot LIKE RHODEY?!?!

RHOOODEEYYYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyYYYYYYY

no sam that shield is yours. sam. sam. your self-worth should be better than this. you must have that shield. NO. STOP GIVING IT AWAY. THAT SHIELD IS YOURS. HE WANTED YOU TO HAVE IT. SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM

SFBNDJFBDJBSDKGNFKHB SAM I LOVE YOU BUT YOU'RE BRINGING ME DOWN

we're gonna meet sam's family and i'm excited for it! i love portrayals of sibling relationships in fiction! it seems like in terms of numbers they always end up lagging behind romantic/sexual relationships, parent-child relationships, and regular friendships

rhodey come back...you’re the only part of any iron man movie that i’ve liked...oh i guess i shouldn’t just insult the mandarin like that huh

now that that my horrific incident of terror is over, how about some yellow filter to signify that we're in the past?

!!!!!! WHAT THE

SKFNDHJ?? AWEIUHGFDG?? FKJNBMVBNM??????@?!1? kshndfg.

tfw you try to reason with a brainwashed murder machine

alright that was dreadful. cool beans

i'm imagining that the winter soldier was handing out campaign fliers and buttons and stuff to help this corrupt person become a senator

lmao that smile looked painful

of course bucky is the mfer who leaves you on read for days. you’re supposed to be better than me, bucky.

is bucky pals with a grumpy elderly man? love it

PINOCHLE *dies instantly*

mm, mochi

oh no now the mochi is sad?! stop it i’m already sad

well bucky totally murdered that guy's kid...

sam is absolutely the cool uncle, and i love that he's UNCLE SAM!!!! so good

is sam not getting paid enough to help his sister???

it's cool they grew up fishing. the gulf is a real sweaty place to go fishing though

rubber ducky / you're the one...

does - does she know he's a million years old and has killed who knows how many people? at least he didn't lie when he said how old he was lol. be forthcoming with your murders, buckaroo

bucky has a sister??? had a sister??? if she’s still alive she’s got to be extremely old

this girl seems very sweet and has no idea she's psychologically demolishing him

OH NO IT'S HIM. THAT'S THE GUY. COOL COOL COOL

i want to eat the food.

the nephews are cute

man this episode is really globe-trotting. will all the episodes be like this? guess i don’t mind

i think ‘renn’ means ‘run’ but idk

that person has powers of some kind i see...

sam: [flap flap flap] banker: “:OOOO FALCON?!”

do banks in this world really not account for the fact that billions of humans were GONE. awful. imagine being in a job interview. “hm i see you have an employment gap here of five years, can you explain that?” “yeah i literally ceased to exist?” maybe it should be one of those protected questions they’re not allowed to ask you like your age or marital status. they’re not allowed to ask you if you were blipped

being in a boat basement (???) is pretty scary irl. little bit claustrophobic

i hope they don’t have to sell their parents’ boat :[

i don't read the comics much so idk who this villain could be! the super strength makes me pretty nervous!

ohhh dear...unhand that shield you eleventh-doctor-looking toolshed, it belongs to sam >:|

this new captain america, has he been dosed with the serum? maybe a new version of it? or is he nonpowered like sam? i’m aware that this guy is in the comics but i know literally nothing else beyond that fact. if he’s all serum’d up i’m really worried about the outcome of this show rofl

further thoughts

just checking real quick...yeah i’m still mad about IW/EG. mostly EG

sam should have the shield. i feel this is a completely uncontroversial opinion but it has to be said

sam’s poor sister seems sooooo stressed out :[

maybe sam didn’t feel he was ready to take up the shield, but he should’ve known the US government wasn’t just going to put that thing in storage, right? idk though i definitely understand not wanting to take on so much responsibility and publicity

the politician guy is totally hydra or whatever

batroc’s totally coming back, right? otherwise why have sam dealing with him in act 1 of the ep

i was waiting for zemo to show up for a while and...he never did? or at least i don’t think he did. i wish he had because zemo’s actor is really good. also there are only six episodes, they’d better show him to us quick :T

the therapist gave me bad vibes in the trailer but as the session went on the bad vibes went away mostly

bucky doesn’t talk like he’s from the 40s, but then again neither did steve very often. i just wish they had more old-fashioned turns of phrase now and then

winter soldier theme babey!!!!!!!!!!!!! the original music from black panther + the theme for the prowler from spider-verse + avengers theme + winter soldier theme are the only pieces of marvel music that stand out to me at all, it’s a really musically impoverished franchise which is a horrible shame

now begins my LONG, PAINFUL WAIT for next friday 😭 kill me

[filmstudiesandshenanigans]

20th Century Women: Punk Rock in the Cosmos

It's fitting that during a scene in which Annette Bening's narrator breaks the fourth wall and ponders the next twenty years of American history, director and writer Mike Mills decided to insert a scene from Koyaanisqatsi. Indeed, this film feels closest to Godrey Reggio's ponderous meditation on the nature of time and how the earth just keeps on spinning, our daily lives a mere blip in the cosmic ballet. But while we're here, Mills thinks we ought to try and make the best of it.

As intensely personal and semi-autobiographical as his previous film, Beginners, 20th Century Women is not just a step forward artistically; it represents a quantum leap. The shift in narrative and thematic ambition to something less precious and more purely empathetic allows Mills to connect the intimacy of this makeshift family of sorts to a vast thematic landscape. What Mills seems to be occupied with isn't as much a conversation with God or the cosmos about the meaning of existence, but rather an interest in our relationship with the passage of time. If we're really only here for a moment, what do with do with that moment? What impact does it have, and how does the flow of time shape who we are?

The kaleidoscope of experience and perspective is embodied in the surrogate family on display in Mills' exploration of what can be surmised was his relationship with his mother and the people around him. Standing in for the author is Jaime, a 15 year old boy being raised by his single mother, a feminist who yet struggles with the changing world around her, trying to make heads or tales of a post-Nixon America. As William Friedkin once said, the 1970s represented the country having "a national nervous breakdown" following the assassinations of Martin Luther King Jr, the Kennedy brothers, and the Vietnam war. That nervous breakdown could arguably be seen as culminating in the impeachment and resignation of President Nixon. The Watergate scandal shook the country's faith in democracy like nothing before, and afterwards, we're still picking up the pieces. In fact, the film's use of an omniscient narration by the various characters able to see their own past, present, and 20 year-on future allows this historical perspective to ponder where the fuck we as a people are supposed to go from here. Does it matter?

Surrounding Jaime and Dorothea are their two tenants, a 20-something photographer who "dyed her hair red after she saw The Man Who Fell to Earth" and a 40-something handyman who lived through the 60s but maybe left his heart back there, struggling to reconcile his deep, salt of the earth goodness with his younger free spirit. Add to the list a lifelong childhood friend of Jaime's, a girl he is deeply in love with but unrequitedly so, and you have a strange surrogate family indeed. But Mills is so invested in finding the empathy to treat them all a human beings that it never becomes the precocious, farce it could be in the hands of anyone less insightful and pointed in their observations. If this all sounds a bit weighty and ponderous, rest assured it balances lofty thematic ambitions with an absolutely acidic wit and joyous celebration of life's messiness. It strikes such a balance between these tones that I found myself often laughing hysterically while also literally choking back a good cry.

That deep sense of humanity is embodied beautifully in the performances across the board, but never more so than in the ways Annette Bening and Greta Gerwig's generational gap contrast and compliment one another. Instead of playing either as a stereotype, their ability to project some much emotional complexities in the simplest of gestures and body language is astonishing. That's par for the course with Bening, who has long been portraying that level of devastating nuance in her career, but something of a revelation for Gerwig, who up until now has been the heir apparent of Parker Posey as the indie queen, playing variations of herself throughout. Here, she finally allows herself a level of raw vulnerability that results in a complex, heartbreaking, and passionate portrayal of a young woman just trying to feel sane in an insane world. The scenes she shares with Bening show a level of compassion between two women who have a stronger bond than just friends. There's a real love and understanding that comes off as a mother-daughter dynamic at first, but reveals itself to be something more pure and with less baggage. Two women who just wan tot be there for one another, connecting through shared experience throughout time.

At one point in the film, Bening stumbles upon her son and Gerwig's character listening to punk rock, and says "They're not very good, are they?" Gerwig replies Yea, it’s like they’ve got this feeling, and they don’t have any skill, and they don’t want skill, because it’s really interesting what happens when your passion is bigger than the tools you have to deal with it. It creates this energy that’s raw. Isn’t it great?"

That assessment of the energy and passion pf punk permeates throughout the film, serving as a thesis of sorts on our place in the course of history. Mills seems to assert that without allowing yourself to express that raw feeling and energy, you find yourself stuck in frustration and a life measured only in what you think you have the tools to achieve, rather than finally just shouting "I'm here, and this is who I am!" at the top of your lungs. Such a love for humanity is rare these days, but a film like 20th Century Women is bursting at the seems with it. We're all complicated, messy, strange people, but damned if we aren't going to just try our best to make our mark on the flow of time in whatever way we can. No fate but what you make, after all.

[pisati]

I was pretty shell-shocked after my dad passed. I knew it was coming for 11 years. but the feeling of permanence didn’t hit me until I reached out and held his hand as he lay where he died; in his bed, cold and stiff. the hospice chaplain said some soothing words I can’t remember. I looked up and I remember a very slight, very deep panic hit me. it wasn’t supposed to be today. I didn’t get to say goodbye. did he know I loved him? where the fuck do you go from here?

we went back the next day to move everything out. my uncle came down from new york to help; my cousin had seen my post about it on facebook and told him, and he called my mom to tell her he was coming. she hadn’t even asked. we didn’t even know where to start. I told mom, just get it out. I know what I want to keep. if I can’t decide now I’ll keep it until I do. mom was clearing off the dining table he’s had for years. she asked me if it was okay to throw out some fortune cookies that had been sitting there amid the clutter. almost definitely from one of our dinners. I don’t know if he ordered from the chinese restaurant next door when I wasn’t there. I started crying almost immediately and shook my head. it really wasn’t okay.

this was going to be a lot harder than I thought.

I don’t know how we did it in one day. we got lucky to get some junk haulers to come that day (usually they’re booked out well in advance, but of course you can’t predict these things. it was september 26th, and we didn’t want to pay october rent). we loaded up my uncle’s truck and my mom’s car. unloaded furniture at my aunt’s house 15 minutes away. I was stone-faced the entire time. my mom and uncle made a drop-off without me at one point and I sat on the floor and looked at the empty space and cried again. I was just here. he was just here. I was just sitting with his doctor, wheeling him out of his last appointment in his wheelchair. he just joked with the security guy and the lady taking payments for the parking garage. we were just sitting in the bank together, putting my name on his account. I’d just brought him skittles in bed, because he wanted something with flavor. I had a long day, I wanted to get going home. I turned out the lights, left his classical piano radio playing. “love you, sweetie, goodnight”, from his bed. I said “goodnight, love you too”, and held my hand on the doorknob. I paused for a second before I opened it. I don’t know why. maybe somehow I just knew that would be the last time I’d see him alive. at one of his last appointments, I heard his doctor tell him she worried that 4 weeks without chemo would be too long. we tried one last round, but a week in he decided he’d had enough. he made it 5 weeks. and suddenly here I was. in an empty room.

I think we went back the day after that to finish up cleaning things and hand in the keys. we all went to a deli for lunch. I really wasn’t hungry, but I ordered pancakes anyway. safe enough. had to choke back tears once again as I sliced through them, because I realized that I always prep my pancakes the way dad taught me. I even remember him teaching me. butter in between so it melts with the heat, then cut into thirds lengthwise and crosswise. then syrup. I shoveled piece after piece into my mouth so I wouldn’t cry.

I don’t remember the next few days. I remember going to target at one point, not sure if I needed something or not. but I’d found a gift card dad had given me for my birthday the year before and it still had money on it. I wandered the store in a haze, not really looking at anything. I wanted to gift myself something that I would enjoy that reminded me of him; something I feel like he would have given me himself. I found a collection of necklaces and bracelets in the jewelry section; each one was held by a card that had a description of the symbolism. there were some tacky, cheesy ones, like love and faith and a lot of other bullshit you’d see tattooed on a white girl, probably. but the one that stood out to me was a delicate sterling silver necklace with a tiny v-shaped charm at the center, labeled gratitude. “everything comes to you in the right moment. be patient. be grateful.”

I had to go through all his stuff after I brought it home. mom doesn’t like a mess, and everything we’d brought home was sitting on the first floor, taking up almost the whole room. all dad’s paintings, his two computers, his art supplies and cleaning stuff and appliances. everything. he didn’t own much, though, so it was manageable for me. I brought what I thought was the most important stuff up to my room and I sat on the floor and sifted through it to organize it. I shredded a lot of old papers. I didn’t even know he kept all the divorce papers. all the attorney letters. old receipts. but I found important things too, that he and I never looked at together. his high school and college diplomas. his work from college on cancer research (the irony). his old glasses, even from childhood. family history records, dating back to the early 1800s in what is now croatia. so many pictures. letters from his mom, when she and grandpa lived in arizona. I never got to meet them, but I think I really would have liked my grandma. I think I got her smile. she was a gorgeous lady. and sounded so sweet. I found a christmas card from her, and she had written in “you are always in our thoughts, know that you are loved – mom + dad” and I burst into tears again. he’d even kept his baptism certificate, and the little milestone calendar they gave his mom at the hospital when he was born. december 28th, 1945. his little, tiny footprints in ink on the first page.

then I found his birth certificate.

it hit me like a truck. I could hold his birth certificate and his death certificate both in my hands. a whole life between two pieces of paper. and that’s all that’s left. that, the box of ashes at the foot of my bed, and a few storage bins of things, most of which I know he didn’t even care about. I could hear his voice in my head when I couldn’t decide on what to do with something of his: “it doesn’t matter to me, whatever you want to do, sweetie”. is that really it, then? suddenly you’re here, suddenly you’re not? and what is there to show for it?

but the more I think about it, the more I’m determined to say that can’t be it. maybe he was here for a tiny blip on the timeline that is human history. maybe we all are. maybe once his brother is gone and my brother is gone and my mom is gone and I’m gone, it might be like he never existed at all. he’ll be a name in an obituary, a co-author on one research paper that probably isn’t even useful anymore. so it is with everyone who has ever existed, whose faces I’ll never see, whose names I’ll never know. maybe on a grand scale, none of us are important. did he have a purpose here? do I? I know why I’m here. I’m here because my mother always wanted a blonde, blue-eyed little girl, and by 30 she felt her time was running out. she married the first one who’d agree to it, and she got her blonde, blue-eyed little girl. except that’s about all the expectations of hers that I met. she wanted the child in her dreams, she got me. I didn’t ask to be here. nobody did. we all end up here somehow, and we all die.

maybe there is no point. but my dad’s effect– all the words, actions, lessons he taught me– are still with me and always will be. they’re in the way I prep my pancakes. they’re in the way I drive; he was much more patient than my mom and had me from sitting nervous in a parking lot to cruising down the highway in 2 hours; she could barely get me on the road without yelling at me. he taught me the word empathy before I could even understand what it meant. I hope I never forget his laugh or his smile, but if I do, that’s okay, because I’ll know at least that I got to enjoy them at one point in my life. maybe cosmically speaking none of us matter. but my dad means so, so much to me. and maybe that’s what’s more important. mattering to the people that matter. who cares if some person in the distant future doesn’t know who I was? what I did? I’d rather have them know me now, rather than not being able to control the game of telephone that undoubtedly happens through time. how much do we really know about anyone we don’t know personally?

what was the reason my dad was here? who knows. but he still tried to enjoy the little things. he tried to make people laugh, with his weird sense of humor. I just saw on timehop today, 3 years ago, dad had probably called me. it snowed a lot that winter. “this is great packing snow. I asked about 20 people to have a snowball fight and they all refused”. the last few years he only ate sugar-free candies because he said the sugary ones made him kind of sick, but he kept 40-count boxes of fruit gummies at home. he’d take a few in his bag when he’d go places and hand them out to cashiers, bankers, waiters, his nurses and doctors. just to see them smile over something little. once I got a fortune in a fortune cookie from one of our dinners; it simply said “it tastes sweet”. I showed it to him, confused but still slightly amused by it. he said, “that’s life, sweetie. dolce vita.”

sweet life. he’d been depressed and suicidal for years. and yet.

[smalltownhomes]

Salt Lake County is becoming less Mormon — Utah County is headed in the other direction

The LDS Church provided eight years of county-by-county membership numbers to The Salt Lake Tribune, and the data back what independent Mormon demographer Matt Martinich has noticed by tracking where new congregations are created.

"Salt Lake County … has become increasingly more cosmopolitan, housing has become more expensive, and the church has overall really struggled in urban areas," said Martinich, who lives in Colorado. Whereas, Utah County has bigger homes that often are cheaper, attracting younger Mormon families who also may want to live near others from the same religion.

For Mormons deciding where to live, Martinich suggests that Salt Lake County "is just culturally less attractive, economically less attractive, socially less attractive."

Capital of Mormonism isn’t so Mormon • Salt Lake County Mayor Ben McAdams has watched as his Sugar House neighborhood and other parts of Salt Lake City have become less Mormon over time.

"There is certainly some self-selection. It is human nature to want to live around people who accept you and who are like you," McAdams said. "But I want to defend Salt Lake County. As a practicing Mormon, I think it is a great place to raise kids. I think I’m raising kids who are going to be stronger in their beliefs because they will do it out of choice and not out of peer pressure."

The share of Mormons in Salt Lake City — though not delineated in the church’s data — is clearly lower than in the county as a whole, says McAdams, who gave his own estimate.

"In Salt Lake City, where I am, we are well below 20 percent, and I think that is good for me and my kids. We have to bond with our neighbors not based purely on religion. … I guess you used to be able to presume that people you interact with are LDS and now you can’t make that presumption, and that is OK."

Mormons in Salt Lake County appear more likely to live in the southern cities, close to Utah County, as indicated by the church having built one temple in Draper and two in South Jordan.

Jim Miller grew up in Lehi and moved to nearby Saratoga Springs 12 years ago. He’s now the mayor of that booming Utah County city. He never has noticed any significant shift in the Mormon population of his neighborhoods. Just about everyone is a member. He believes people are attracted to the area more for the lifestyle than to live next to people of the same faith, since this city on the west side of Utah Lake has modern homes within a close drive of fishing, boating and ATV trails.

In April, LDS Church President Thomas S. Monson announced that five new temples will be built throughout the world, including one in Saratoga Springs. When completed, it will be Utah’s 18th temple and the fifth based in Utah County. Salt Lake County has four.

"It was a pretty cool feeling to be there when the announcement happened," Miller said.

Ups and downs of LDS data • Since at least 1940, the LDS Church has provided membership data to the state, which uses those statistics along with IRS figures, school enrollment, health information and building permits to build population estimates.

That responsibility shifted to the University of Utah’s Kem C. Gardner Policy Institute in 2016, and the LDS Church struck a deal with the U. that for the first time would have kept the data private.

The U. denied Tribune records requests and declined to talk about the data, citing an active confidentiality agreement. But when asked, the LDS Church gave The Tribune what a spokesman said was the exact set of numbers it gave to the U. That spokesman did not explain why the church has a confidentiality deal with the school.

But it is because of that deal that Pam Perlich, chief demographer at the Gardner Institute, said she couldn’t talk about what she refers to as "the LDS method," saying only: "It is a valuable data set to help us understand our unique population."

In the past, Perlich has noted the shrinking share of Utahns who are Mormon is largely a result of economics. People move to the state for jobs, and those newcomers don’t tend to be as Mormon as the residents already living in the state.

When combined with census estimates, the new data show that Utah was 62.8 percent Mormon in 2016, the same percentage it was in 2009. But during those years, Salt Lake County dipped from 51.5 percent LDS in 2009 to 50.07 percent last year. If the trend holds, Salt Lake County soon may join the ranks of Utah’s minority Mormon counties. That group includes Carbon (49.9 percent), San Juan (35.5 percent), Summit (29.4 percent) and Grand (26.5 percent).

Salt Lake County has a population of 1.12 million people, and 561,433 were on the LDS rolls in 2016. In most years, the county added at least a few thousand Mormons as it continues to grow, but not in 2016. The county saw a total population spurt of 16,732 people but a decrease of 318 in the actual number of Mormons.

One possible reason for the drop is the controversy over the church’s November 2015 policy identifying same-sex LDS couples as "apostates" and restricting their children from baptisms and baby blessings until they turn 18. Hundreds of Mormons, most of them inactive, attended protests where they resigned their memberships. Martinich said that may have played a role in those numbers, but he expects that to be a one-year blip, while the larger demographic shift should persist in the years to come.

In contrast, Utah County rose from 83.6 percent LDS in 2009 to 84.7 percent in 2016. It has a total population of 592,299, slightly more than half Salt Lake County’s size, of which 501,725 are Mormons. At this pace, it is possible that Utah County, though much smaller overall, would have more Mormons numerically than Salt Lake County within the next 10 years.

The figures don’t include "in transit Mormons," members the church no longer can identify by address.

On the rolls vs. in the pews • Martinich notes there’s a big difference between being on the rolls and being a participating Mormon. He estimates that 40 percent of U.S. Mormons are active, and he has slightly different estimates for Salt Lake County. His best guess is that roughly half Salt Lake County’s members are churchgoers, which would be 25 percent of the county’s population. He says Utah County’s activity rate is higher, so maybe 60 percent of its residents regularly attend worship services.

"More areas of Utah County still maintain characteristics of more rural counties. That attracts a more traditional family dynamic," said Robert Spendlove, a senior economist at Zions Bank. "In Utah, a more traditional family dynamic would be Mormon and Republican."

Spendlove is a GOP member of the Legislature living in Sandy. Salt Lake County is the state’s only real political battleground, where the stronger Republican areas often are places with bigger Mormon populations, namely the cities in the south end of the county, which boasts three of the county’s four LDS temples. The Democratic strongholds, on the other hand, are in areas like Salt Lake City, which hasn’t elected a Republican mayor in four decades and where Mormons are vastly outnumbered.

The LDS Church is well aware of the population shifts in the state, though leaders attribute it more to family decisions than people wanting to live around those of similar religious or political beliefs.

"Many people with families (including church members) have moved to areas where the cost of living may be more affordable or to be closer to new employment centers or schools," LDS Church spokesman Eric Hawkins said recently. "Obviously, this impacts the number of church members in both areas. So you’ll see a decrease in [Mormon congregations] in one area and an increase in another."

Still, this growing political and religious divide comes at a time when economic prosperity is driving new businesses to relocate and homes to be constructed along the line between Salt Lake and Utah counties.

"Salt Lake County and Utah County are so different but are becoming one big metro area," said Morgan Lyon Cotti, a political scientist at the U. Part of the religious divide is driven by housing costs, but she suggests some of it also might come from workers more willing to commute, especially those who have relocated from more crowded states like California.

That’s what Carlton Christensen, Salt Lake County’s director of regional development, has noticed, and he expects the divide to remain.

"Folks are living where they feel the most comfortable living," he said, "and subsequently commuting to work."

Possibly underscoring that trend, McAdams and Saratoga Springs’ Miller say they make no assumptions about the religious affiliation of the people they interact with in the workplace, because doing so is far more fraught than it might have been in years past.

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