#mayu vent

[brokenplushie]

Survivors of abuse kill themselves because killing their abusers is considered unlawful.

[christine-ye]

I was already this worried over Yuki being mischaracterized to begin with but her being considered to be a yandere for Mayu is definitely the worst one yet, like how do you completely miss the point of her character and also be weird about it 🥲

I literally saw two instances of people doing that over the past week (first being fanart on Twitter and most recent being on Reddit), save me from this misery 🫠

[mayullla]

Currently a continuous cycle of 'I want to write.' 'Some part of me doenst want to write' 'some part of me feels so tired over writing' 'still want to write tho.' 'Promised myself to write' 'no write.' And then repeat.

Living on brainrots instead and craving to make even more messed up ideas cause right now the whole obsession vibe going rn with me is that I am hyperfixated in ideas of taking the readers will. That being stuff like black mail, cursed items, consious and unconsciously-

[nie-velorio]

When the sudden spiral is so disorienting, you whip out the character you used to cling to for some sense of identity and comfort that you weren't a monster of a child

The unrecognized/undiagnosed bpd in middle and high school went craaaazy yall

Technically still undiagnosed, but neither of the therapists I've seen in the last YEAR would help me beyond just being like "yep those are all the criteria for bpd and we shld move forward working of behaviors that helps that!" But wouldnt diagnose me because I was too aware of my symptoms

Also then the first one quit with no warning and then the second raised her prices without warning which i could not afford on the 21 hours 11 dollar pay I had at the time

Tbh I feel like at a certain point most people without access to mental health care are gonna try to figure out what the fuck is wrong with them

Like hey why the fuck do I get so obsessed and possesive of people I care about???? (Just an example ik theres more than that, thats just what i dealt with the most at the time of trying to figure myself out and its what effects me the most) Even when I do mot want to be??? Oh its an uncurable mental disorder caused by trauma and can be passed down genetically AND the chances of it forming are higher in people with undiagnosed/denied autism (thats usually apart of the abuse?!?! And is also genetic?!?!?!?) Oh wow!!!

I wish I was Mayu vocaloid. She may be a bpd stereotype (a yandere) but at least shes cute and a singer while doing it. I wish I had the energy to be a singer. Or to pursue any of my artistic interests. My drawing tablet isnt even a foot away from me. I havent drawn in a week, and that was just black boxes to frame a wip.

[mayulli]

the antibiotics is killing me.

[thatonesakudere]

"You always get your way, don't you?" // mac for masa

@badtrigger

He isn't sure what exactly spurs the comment; a brand-new console his elder sister has somehow obtained after learning he's made a controller big enough for her… Friend (he isn't sure what they are) to wield? The general dynamic between himself and Mayu — more mother and son than sister and brother — and the lengths she goes for him? Or his character, so easy to write off as spoiled and demanding when in reality Masa is hungry. Starving for normalcy.

It's innocuous really, a quip with little weight behind it — a moment of banter, possibly performed in hope of getting into his good graces, and therefore his sister's.

It stings all the same.

"If I always got my way, do you think I'd be still using crutches?" he snaps, all white knuckles and dark eyes. The pill is as hard, as bitter to swallow in the presence of another as it is when he's on his lonesome, sterile furniture and gray walls his only companions, his witnesses and confidants. But it feels better, cathartic even, to direct these words at someone — of flesh and blood like himself — than to throw them into the wind, never to be heard again.

Better yet, it's not his sister, quick to offer comfort, to smother the pain that exists outside the scope of painkillers. Because he just-- He wants to be angry for once. Violent. Destructive. Vent the coiling frustration that grows and grows and grows with every stumble, every breathless gasp and black spot in his vision; till it's big enough to consume him whole.

"Maybe with Nee-san I do. But what does it matter when---" Masa doesn't finish the thought, words caught in his throat. A mouse and a trap. There is no use whining, whispers the rational part of his brain, solemn and stoic. He picks at the bleeding hangnails and slowly tears them away, silent. Coward, hisses the snake that lives in his ribcage, in voices he'd rather forget. He blinks once, twice — a dull ache blooms behind his eyelids — and exhales, hands returning back to the controller.

"Just pick a game."

[opinated-user]

LO, writing a quadruple amputee: "She's bitter and angry, has no reason to live but her love interest, and has no external goals or social life."

Disney's Gargoyles, writing a Black blind man: "He's a published author, dog lover, helped found a dog shelter, has a bunch of nerdy author friends, has supportive parents, accepts nonhumans and their status as people, and since he's immune to magic that you have to see to be effected by, he is key to defeating a major villainous scheme. He goes on to be happily married in the comics, and is both one of the characters' closest friends and his most honest critic, pushing Hudson and himself not to give up on learning new things purely because of their ages."

Elfen Lied, writing a quadruple amputee teenage girl: "She's fighting a serial killer with the same psychic powers both were born with, is bi, loves Mayu deeply but will forego a relationship rather than risk Mayu's safety, is happily adopted by a dad she loves, loves her foster sisters, refuses to hurt innocent people in a setting where good and bad guys alike usually do, and does not see becoming disabled as the end of her life or a reason to give up on life."

Yuki Yuna Is A Hero, writing a teenage girl who uses a wheelchair: "She's a magical girl who's also a sniper, has a close circle of best friends, is independent to a fault, is a femme lesbian, is a huge history nerd, loves cooking, and even when the villains hit her with amnesia and forcibly try to take her identity from her, she's so dedicated to justice that she just ends up becoming a hero in a different way, because her driving motive is a desire for everyone to live happy, peaceful lives."

Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, writing a deaf teenage girl for one episode: "This girl does karate and gymnastics, wants to be a teacher when she's older, is crushed on by two guys normally depicted as shallow because even they understand that being disabled doesn't make her any less cool or date-worthy, teases her younger brother, is friends with both popular and unpopular girls at school based on shared interests, and is immune to the villain of the episode's magic flute due to being deaf but singlehandedly defeats the villain because while he's arrogant and thinks he's undefeatable, she's smart enough to watch him carefully, formulate a plan and wear him out before fighting him."

Wolf's Rain, writing a blind, albino woman who suffers from chronic fatigue: "This is our ultimate hero who will save the world. She loves plants, animals, and her close circle of friends. Although the world has been unkind to her and often cruel, she refuses to let the world end, because she will not give into despair and instead will focus on those that have been good to her, in stark contrast to the abled villain who has had a really good life but is fixating on the handful of bad things that have happened to him. She is quiet and too serious sometimes but also curious, thoughtful and loves bad puns."

Katawa Shoujo: "All of the characters in this visual novel are disabled. No two have the same disability. Every single one is portrayed as a well-rounded character, a love interest, someone with struggles, dreams, hopes, and a bright future ahead of them whether you choose to befriend them or romance them, because they're friends with each other and with one another to depend on, goof off around, vent to and feel normal with, they'll be okay. All a person needs to be successful in life is to feel connected to others and supported by them."

Once you watch anime/watch cartoons/watch cheesy 90's shows/play visual novels, Lily's disabled character looks horrifically underwritten. Fall The Amputee is barely a character. There's no agency, no inner world, no future, nothing outside of "became disabled, hates being alive, serves her spouse".

I know we've all moved on to talking about her sexually predatory ways. But as a disabled person I'm so tired of "being disabled means your life is over and the best you can hope for is someone who's willing to fuck you". No. That's not how this works. That's not how life is. We do not exist to sexually service able bodied people. We do not exist to be comforted by your OC stand-in who's oh-so-noble for doing so.

To crib from a Disney song, since LO only watches Disney, cartoons, and BBT: "I can slay my own dragons, I can dream my own dreams. My knight in shining armor is me."

.

[jmeldog]

God I love all the wanpre cast so fucking much. Even the background characters are silly.

Komugi is so puppy. She’s so doggie. Her brain is full of dog toys. It goes squeak if you squish it.

Iroha is my friend. She’s chill. She exists and the world around her explodes. She has to deal with her beast being a human.

Satoru is suffering from the burden of having a brain cell. He sits in the forest alone and vents to a rabbit. He is supportive.

Mayu is suffering.

Yuki shows so much personality even as a beast. She’s sick of everything. She doesn’t give a fuck. And yet she does care. In a cat way.

I even like the background characters 😭 like the one soccer kid seeing Komugi as a rival is cute. Komugi doesn’t give a fuck she’s just wan

[darkershining]

Just watched episode 6 of Wonderful Pretty Cure, where Komugi's frustrations over not knowing how to activate her Friendly Wand leads to an argument with Iroha.

The episode begins with Komugi, Iroha and Satoru watching the Kirarin Penguin fix another part of the broken crystal along with another section of the Niko Garden. Mey Mey compliments Iroha on her good work in the last confrontation, with Iroha reminding him she couldn't have done it without the Kirarin Rabbit lending her power. Komugi is still wondering why she failed to activate her Friendly Wand, with Mey Mey speculating to why it may have failed before Komugi starts throwing a tantrum about it.

After returning home, Iroha does what she can to cheer up Komugi. Iroha's mother goes to check on them, noting she's waiting for a patient to arrive. The woman finally arrives, having brought over her dog to get it vaccinated. Noticing the dog seems nervous, Iroha goes to help comfort it, assuring it that everything will go smoothly and offering to be there as well. Iroha's mother explains that Iroha has always seemed to have a good understanding of animals. Komugi, however, seems a bit frustrated with Iroha paying attention to another dog and tries to get her attention, only for Iroha's mother to bring her back to the house, telling her to wait so her barking doesn't make the other dog nervous.

At Mayu's place, Mayu is still working on a present for Iroha to thank her for the animal carrying bag she gave her, when her mother comes in to tell her that her father is calling them. Mayu is so focused on her sewing that Yuki has to snap her out of it. Mayu's father tells her he's currently in an African country and took some pictures of some lions. He asks how Mayu is doing and if school has started yet, with Mayu explaining it starts next week. Mayu's mother tells him that Mayu has at least made a friend, with Mayu disagreeing, telling her she doesn't feel that she and Iroha are quite there yet.

Later in the night, Komugi asks if there's anything she can help Iroha with. Iroha tries playing catch with her, but Komugi still wants to something actually useful. Iroha suggests the two go to bed, with Komugi noting it still isn't quite what she had in mind, but since it's late, they might as well get some sleep. The next morning, Komugi is getting ready for her morning walk, when she realizes her leash is gone. Iroha remembers how it turned into the Friendly Wands, and since she has no idea if it can be turned back, she decides to go see if the store still has the same type of leash in stock. Komugi protests that she doesn't want a replacement, since they picked out the original together and she only wants that one.

An argument breaks out when Iroha points out that since they don't know if getting the old leash back is possible, Komugi may just have to accept that it's gone and get a new one, but Komugi refuses to back down, instead deciding to cancel their walk. Iroha's parents can sense that something is wrong, with Iroha's mother noting that since the two of them are always together, it was probably inevitible that the two would end up having an argument at some point.

While Komugi is later playing with Daifuku in the dog run, Iroha vents to Satoru about what happened. However, elsewhere, a lion Garugaru hatches, putting the animals around town on edge. Iroha tells Komugi they should put their argument on hold and go deal with the situation.

They reach the Garugaru and transform, with Cure Friendy and Satoru quickly deducing it's a lion from the mane, and explaining that to Cure Wonderful, who has never seen a lion before. The lion Garugaru ends up intimidating Wonderful to the point where she can't move, with Satoru suspecting Wonderful's instincts might be kicking in when faced with an apex predator and king of the beasts. Cure Friendy suggests Wonderful wait with Satoru while she handles the situation.

Cure Friendy tries reasoning with the lion, but it begins chasing after her. With the help of the Kirarin Penguin's power, allowing her to slide on ice to move faster, Cure Friendy tries to see if she can keep the lion in one spot so she can purify it. However, Cure Wonderful still wants to help and tries to see if she can get her Friendly Wand to work, but nothing happens still.

Unfortunately, this ends up drawing the lion's attention, and both Cures are knocked aside when Friendy tries rushing over to save Wonderful when she freezes up again. The Garugaru gets away, fleeing into the mountains. Iroha scolds Komugi for not doing as she was told. Komugi protests she just wanted to be with her, but Iroha drops the harsh truth that it just isn't possible for them to be together all the time.

As they return home, Satoru tells them he'll look into where the Garugaru might've gone, noting there aren't many places a creature that big could hide, and he'll let them know if he finds something. Later that night, Komugi wakes up, apologizes to a still sleeping Iroha for not being any help, before quietly sneaking out...

Well, that ended on a bit of a cliffhanger. Poor Komugi. I'm guessing she ran off to look for the Garugaru in the misguided belief that finding and helping it is the only one she can make things up to Iroha. And I guess my initial theory about why the Friendly Wand didn't work was probably wrong. Guess we'll find out soon enough.

Looking forward to the next episode!

[criminal-sen]

Okay, worst part about not having tumblr mobile is DEFINITELY the inability to vent whenever I please. Like yesterday, I was at the laundromat and had this. surreal experience where four washing machines in a row ate my quarters and refused to regurgitate them into the coin return. I've never had a single quarter genuinely truly Eaten at that laundromat? So having it happen at multiple machines made me feel like I was in weird, shitty Bizarro World (more likely, some mechanic 'fixed' them and wound up fucking them up even more? But i didn't reach that conclusion til later)

And then, since I'd just spent the last few minutes cussing and banging on the machines, I turned to the one other lady that was there and told her what had happened. Figured I owed an explanation, and maybe she'd also had it happen so we could like have a shared moment or whatever? But she. didn't say anything back to me??? And instead just shot me this wary, dagger-filled glare??? So at this point, I reach this little tipping point where my mood officially goes into 'FUUUUUUCK' zone and go out to my car and sit there Fuming and um. would very much have liked to post this rant about it right then.

And yes, laundromat scenario wasn't the worst thing in the world but it DID make me realize that tumblr mobile is one of the ways I use to calm myself down after Dumb Shit happens. Most of my vents go into drafts but they're still uh. vents. Maybe I need to carry around a little vent journal or smth idfk. I don't think it would have the same effect, though? Because the ability (whether I use it or not) to Share With Friends is, I think, the main draw.

Hmmm what else. I'm working on some little Nemu arts rn (was gonna finish that pen n ink but it's sooo wonky looking and I just can't seem to make it look decent? And I think the main reason for that is bc I haven't spent nearly enough time drawing her, or any women for that matter). Also have decided on my next Big Art - gonna tackle that Mayu/Szayel art where Szayel is using his weird udon transformation to function as Chair. I want to really go hyper-detailed with it and make it look like a.. statue or some shit. But haven't even started lol

[kazutakas-pinch]

Ask me Something - Koimonogatari Chara Ver

Send me a character and I'll answer that question.

Yuiji - What do other people seem to grasp naturally that you have a hard time understanding?

Yamato - How do you approach people that you like/want to be friends with?

Hongou - Give me a vibe and I'll recommend a song.

Nacchan - How have you changed over the years?

Mayu - Any hairstyle/aesthetic/look that you've wanted to try?

Sakura - What is a fear that you have?

Misaki - Vent about something that's been on your mind.

Hibino - Do you have a type? Or any general green flags for a partner/friend?

Shigemori - What are your favorite character/story tropes?

D** - What are your red flags?

Mikeda - What are some of your pet peeves?

[kyrodo]

Gato shows up again. In desktop so it was a lazy short visit of his, the usual. And posted a vrc avvie photo soon after. Taking pictures of his cat, probably came to show off the new colors and check out mine up close. Mine's still better xD but he changed the eyes on his and it looks nice and clean. Mostly all fur pattern. Cybernetic feel, goes along with liking video cards so much.

It is an interesting time to visit. I did post that I was destressing earlier. So he might have actually came by to check up on me. Show cat, see cat, check up on cat. I have mixed feelings about it but I played it off well at least. And I got to show off my own cat at least a bit. Also another thing to consider is the mmd photo he posted dancing with someone. He seems to particularly avoid my mayu photos when commenting in the discord, but I suppose we haven't really made an effort to keep in touch. It's safer that way though.

I don't know how I feel. Bad blood still boils in me about him every now and then for getting emotional over the romantic night we shared that was clearly just an attempt to initiate erp. I can't even guess what he thinks about it or how embarrassing it was realizing who I was. Assuming he didn't already know who I was. But mysteries are going to remain unsolved between us and it's best to leave it that way. I do get torn up very easily when I start to think long enough about anything socially that goes sour. It's the same reason why my rant over Kaybat got so bad. Self recycled negative thoughts that get progressively worse and I simply see no way to make it stop.

But I see the picture of his avatar, almost like a quiet answer to mine. Perhaps the last time discord wise that we'll ever interact even if indirectly, but there's nothing harmful about it. There's nothing arrogant about it. It is almost respectful even. It has been long enough to set things aside anyway and I need to hop to it myself. I don't know if me venting slightly in my status earlier affected anything, but perhaps I'm a bit more humanized to him now.

[christine-ye]

⚠️ WONDERFUL PRECURE LEAK COMMENTARY BELOW THE CUT ⚠️

So the titles for the first two June episodes have been leaked. Needless to say, I have very mixed feelings about it but they're leaning more on the negative side. For one thing, Lillian had been my favorite of the season since the first Cure leaks back in December. It's nice that we finally know when her debut is and I should be happy about it but I... can't. Something about it just doesn't feel right. Normally I'm ok with Wonderful's pacing as is but why did it have to be another Butterfly situation from last year where their debuts happen near the same time but by a week apart? It just feels too unrewarding having to wait another month to finally see my tenth favorite Cure transform and fully join the team.

[mayullla]

Brain I just woke up!!! And IMMEDIATELY YOU CHOOSE TO START COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS!!! SHUSH IT.

You can start being like this while I am asleep and not thinking. You are asleep too? Ofcouse.

[brokenplushie]

my secret to being super cute is having abandonment issues

[mayulli]

I think that I figured out that antibiotics and coffee crash bad for me....

I was suppose to work on my essays but I was nauseous and felt super weak that I had to hit the bed early.... had a headache when I woke up that I force myself to sleep again... like this for 2 weeks... this would be a pain..

My coffee....