#mcg writes

[padfootastic]

Day 2 - Posture

written for @prongsfoot-microfic

“Keep slouching like that, and you’ll end up stuck in that position before you hit thirty.” Professor McGonagall’s stern voice was accompanied by an intensely disapproving glare at Sirius’ sitting—no, slouching posture. He was currently half laid out on a couch, legs thrown over one arm of it and neck hanging off the other side. It was a very comfortable position and even McGonagall’s threats weren’t enough to make him budge.

“S’not like I can be any more bent, let’s be honest,” he muttered under his breath, smirking when Remus and James let out matching snorts of laughter, unable to contain their reactions.

“Mr. Black!” McGonagall gasped, scandalised. He leaned back further to send her a quick wink before slowly moving into a better position.

“Apologies, Professor, I didn’t mean to say that,” he said, utterly insincerely. He wasn’t fooling anyone, of course, but it was the principle of the matter.

“I’m sure you didn’t,” she replied, though a tiny little glint in her eye told Sirius exactly how much she enjoyed their little back-and-forths. She could pretend to be stern and stuffy all she wanted, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth.

She looked at all three of them for a moment, looking like butter wouldn’t melt in their mouths, before letting out an almost-audible sigh. Almost. “Well, I knew it would be futile but I had to try. At least sitting up straight would make it easier for Mr. Potter to carry out his heart’s desire, so there’s that. Do remember there’s young children around, boys.” And with that parting shot, she left, leaving them sitting there in varying stages of disbelief (Sirius), embarrassment (James) and hysterical laughter (Remus, the fucker).

“Did she just—?” James managed to get out before burying his face in his hands. Sirius could see the tips of his extremely red ears peeking out the sides.

“I think it was a fever dream,” Sirius replied mechanically, still trying to make sense of what just happened. How quickly the tables turned on them.

“Oh no, not at all,” Remus finally deigned to join, ceasing his cackles just enough to get his two cents in. “She really did just imply that James wanted to devour you, and that it would be much more effective to do it sitting up.”

“Remus—“ Sirius growled, lifting out of his seat to seal his friend’s mouth shut; he was having entirely too much fun.

“Of course, I agree with her, seeing as there’s no—how did you put it, James?—‘tantalising display of skin torturing you’ now.”

“Oh my god,” James removed his hands from his face, making it clear the blush had travelled violently down his face, over his neck. Sirius could see it had even spread across his chest from the little V of his button-up. He gulped, quickly turning away lest it trigger another kind of heat in him. “Remus, you utter piece of goblin-shite.”

“Thanks ever so much, honey.” Remus blew a kiss, once at each of them, and left without a look back, fully aware of the shit he’d just stirred.

“So…” James was staring at the wall in front of him with a laser focus, resolutely not looking at Sirius.

“So?”

“Wanna go see if you really can’t get any more bent?”

x

Neither of them were seen in the castle for the rest of the day. Remus got at least twenty three galleons and fifteen sickles from the student body, and an additional ten from McGonagall. They made good partners, if he did say so himself.

[spacelesscowboy]

see i still have questions about the existence of mcr and fob in the fantasy high universe.

fall out boy exists. canonically, pete wentz is 17 years old, making andy hurley 16, and joe trohman + patrick stump 12. so the earliest album they could have out is eowyg, or tttyg at the LATEST. (bc clearly, they’re popular enough to have made an impact in the emo/pop punk/alternative scene, so much so that fig brings up pete’s name as an attempt to show ruben how #cool and #emo wanda childa is)

what does this say about mcr? its unclear if my clerical gnomance is (in universe) directly copying mcr, or if they (ruben + his band) came up with the name. if it’s the latter, that means that we’re looking at a world where mcr doesn’t exist, but fob does.

i’m somehow more confused if it’s the former. mcr existing means that 9/11 happened (or an equivalently traumatic event happened in Solace), but also. the logo used for Ruben’s band is the one mcr used for the black parade. so does that mean that mcr is 3 years ahead of fob? how old would they be then? when did they start their career? who is letting all these teenagers start bands and have nation wide tours????

does this mean that fig & the cig figs potentially toured alongside mcr/fob? (or. ok. ik F&tCF is a heavy metal band. mcr and fob both lean more towards pop-punk/rock but. surely they’d both be AWARE of each other?)

these could all be called plot holes, sure, if this was anything other than a role-playing dnd comedy campaign. so you know. maybe i’m the one who’s putting too much thought into a few off-hand comments.

[tngrace]

Rewatching some episodes bc as usual McG isn't far from my mind 😏😍

[doriana-gray-games]

Hello! Hope you're doing well <3

One thing that I love about your IF is how detailed the character creation is and I'm thinking about doing my own IF but I don't know shit about coding, so I wanted to ask if you had any help? or if you have any sources that could help me. Thank you!

Hi <3 I'm not sure I am the most pedagogical/best person to ask here haha. But here's what I did:

Started here ->

I checked their example files at the bottom of the page.

Then,

Went here ->

I downloaded something called "ChoiceScript IDE" (basically a program where you can write / test / play your game).

And—

And, here's my biggest tip:

Just start

No mile-long planning. Not at this stage, you can do that later. Just start somewhere so you have a document you can work on, and you won't let the programming hold you back from actually starting.

That's it <3

----

On the topic of character creation, honestly, just look at my code and take it if you want. I don't mind. Just make the changes where they make sense, and voila, you have a cc.

[mischas]

thoughts as i rewatched mischa on the oc pod

these are mostly the thoughts i sent to my friend in real time lol i cannot help the stream of consciousness when it comes to this podcast episode apparently (here's my original thoughts pre-revelations)

funny how she says 17.5/18 at the top

seems that’s the age range she’s really latched onto, especially as she was 16 when the talks with McG really started and they filmed the pilot not even two months after she turned 17 (aka she's still aging herself up which is... interesting)

i'm reminded of peter gallagher on the podcast saying he was scared for mischa right from the beginning and how they all had a duty to protect her. and rachel saying mischa was "seasoned" because she'd been in movies and knew how to order a latte. and peter was like "she was still 16"

they keep referring to the hermosa party as manhattan beach (unless i’m the one messing up)

i forgot she mentioned josh’s name

“as with everything with like josh and them back then, it was like ‘maybe she should be drunker’” omg??

THE PAUSE BEFORE SAYING BENS NAME LMAO

oh she did notttt wanna complete that thought

“that whole exchange behind……… ben”

this reads so different now

i feel like rachel is so scared to talk in this ep

mischa with the tight lipped smile when rachel says it’s fun to see ben squirm on the ferris wheel

calling herself a baby/fetus in the ferris wheel scene... interesting

i cannot believe the gall of these women to make her watch this scene

the way mindy immediately says the bullshit patrick rush line of they had to cast people way older than her to make it believable on camera bc boys mature later? wtf. i bet she thought that was bullshit too

i love her so much for criticizing the 201 writing

the mount st mary’s thing... i wanna know what she means!!!

i can see mischa dissociating as melinda talks about the model home scene “there was so much that was real”

cannot believe mindy referenced this scene to her face

i’m so in shock how quickly mischa's tears came at the crash scene. quicker than rachel's

her not wanting to see him cry she’s so real

i think she hates seeing his face full stop

thank fucking god mindy tells her and the audience that the ratings went down bc she wasn’t there

i love that that’s on the record

that guy who called in about the 207 bagel scene should be our friend

i think mischa was getting overwhelmed by the time the final calls were coming in

i think a lot of memories good and bad were flooding in

[whinlatter]

author's note | chapter 3: nocturnal 🌙

here is the author's note for chapter 3, with a few short reflections on writing, headcanons, fic recs (and a tiny sneak peek of chapter four). for an explanation of why i'm inflicting these author's notes on you see here!

✨ spoilers for this chapter below the cut (and a tiny sneak peek of chapter 4…) ✨

thank you for reading the third chapter of beasts! this chapter follows ginny’s first (proper) day back at hogwarts after the war, from morning til night. we have some familiar faces back with us, as well as a couple of new ones. lot to talk about - let's get stuck in...

[ nocturnal, adjective: being active or happening at night rather than during the day:of the night, or relating to the night ]

acknowledgements:

thanks to @pebblysand @evesaintyves and @takearisk-ao3 for their extremely helpful suggestions on introducing and sketching out O.Cs. and thank you to @incalculablepower on TTB for clarifying what did or did not happen with ginny’s OWLs!

writing notes and headcanons:

on canon references (or: back to the prisoner of azkaban): i’m having so much fun pilfering and borrowing my favourite tropes or moments in canon and sort of interpolating them into the vibes of certain scenes for this fic. for this chapter, the book i kept going back to for this chapter was PoA. this is the book we see ginny the least in, save for a brief intro in diagon alley and her traumatic experience with the dementor on the train, where she and the trio all meet remus, but we know, for her, it’s the aftermath year of her deeply traumatic first year. it only seemed right to do PoA here, as we find ginny, again, starting a new aftermath year now that the war is won. there are references to PoA throughout - remus’ DADA lessons, obviously the hippogriffs and the care of magical creatures lessons, but also werewolves, dementors, the press, and the beginnings of criminal trials. with the opening scene i was trying to do a call-back to the opening of PoA, which begins with harry in the middle of the night, writing in bed, quill between his teeth, worried about getting ink on the sheets, receiving the daily prophet clipping and letters from his friends. two soulmates mimicking each other i die i die. (also time-turning because you know ya girl loves a flashback)

on letters: letters, writing, handwriting, reading between the lines: these are really crucial in canon - there’s often a romance and magic to them, and they serve a rich way of characters connecting across distance and time (lily potter’s little wave to her son through her letter Gs!) as we know, though, writing to others is canonically also a loaded theme, fraught with risk and danger and secrets, the threat of interception. ginny more than most has reason to feel wary when she picks up a pen. expect lots more letters and refections on this in future chapters…

on the camera and the nimbus: when i one day put out the summer ‘98 fic that i write and re-write and scrap every so often, you’ll get the story of how harry and ginny come to possess these two items - but for now, i’m keeping hush, you're going to have to forgive me trust me

on head boys and head girls: as we see in this chapter, hermione and justin finch-fletchley are the first postwar heads of school. these are symbolic appointments as well as reflections of the staff and governors' faith in them - two muggleborns, both plainly bearing the scars of their, very different, wartime experiences. there’s been some super interesting discussion about this (here and here) and although i don’t think hermione should be head girl, i think she would be, in ways that make for an interesting arc for her. stay tuned on this...

on lavender: i just don’t think she’s dead, i’m sorry 🥲 it’s just too brutal for her to have died and her only plot service to be ron’s clingy ex! my girl was a proud DA member and fought in the battle and deserves a chance at having a meaningful life after her injuries ok

on ginny and mcgonagall: i strongly suspect ‘forgot to brake, sorry professor’ was not the first time these two gryffindor ladies clashed. i assure you, in this fic, it will not be the last.

on professor graves: i’ve always been so so so fascinated by the department of mysteries and the unspeakables, and so introducing a former dept of mysteries guy to take the defence class - already a tricky posting, especially after the students have had a year being taught how to do dark magic by death eaters - seemed really compelling, especially as we play with some of the themes about beasts and the darker parts of a person's nature. stay tuned for more prof graves action...

on ginny and remus: we have only tiny hints that ginny and remus have some kind of friendship that harry doesn’t really see in canon - the poa interaction, moments in ootp where remus stays with ginny and the twins on the night bus (ofc he’s also living at grimmauld with ginny and her family in that book, too); ginny’s closeness to tonks; and that fantastic moment in DH where remus vouches for ginny to her parents and persuades molly and arthur to let ginny stay in the room of requirement during the battle, so she’ll know what’s going on. i’m absolutely not the first one to suspect remus lupin might see something of himself and try and look out for ginny in her second year, but i am loving thinking through their dynamic here, and the idea of remus and hagrid also having their own existing friendship and rapport

on little women: fraught, fiercely loving sisterhood, matriarchs, writing, war… hermione just had to be rereading little women, didn’t she?

on siegfried sassoon and the death bed: i know it’s extremely pretentious wanky of me to start with a poem but one of my favourite favourite books is pat barker’s regeneration, which is about soldiers at a scottish convalescent home suffering with PTSD during the first world war (it’s a fictionalised account of real people, including sassoon the war poet, who were patients at craiglockhart during the war). there are lots of themes and dynamics in that novel that i’m shamelessly trying to play with here, strongly recommend a read, and i’m also just a massive huge sassoon fan and this is one of two of his poems that i keep coming back to for this fic. (graves is actually a reference to robert graves, the poet and classicist, who appears as a character in regeneration). the vibes are very much this!

reading list for chapter 3

on epistolary fiction and letter-writing (esp. harry/ginny):

castles by @pebblysand warm front by flagpoles (@jiilys) enough of both by @takearisk-ao3

on harry calling ginny ‘gin’: 

you’re the only one who gets to call me that, you know by @hiinnys (AO3)

on postwar ron and ginny:

hide-and-seek by stuckwithminusharry

on postwar hermione:

Failure by @floreatcastellumposts

on mcgonagall:

Autumn is a Time of Change by wasureneba

on hannah abbott: 

naive: in defense of hannah abbott by dirgewithoutmusic

on remus and food: 

It’s just what you do to get by by anonymous for remus lupin fest 2023

songs from the playlist particularly for this chapter:

dismantle by peter sandberg | september - instrumental by sparky deathcap | this is how we walk on the moon by arthur russell | tommy's tarbukas by alasdair fraser | sinnerman by nina simone | lonesome am i by missisipi john hurt

plus a very short sneak peek of chapter four... 🧹

‘Right,’ she says. ‘You can all put your brooms down over there.’ Thirty blank faces stare back at her. ‘You know,’ she says, raising her eyebrows, ‘an important part of being on a Quidditch team is following direction.’

🦉 thoughts & questions? ask me anything!

[stemms]

In Hybrids AU, whenever c!Tommy gave in to his instincts, c!Dream used it/its in third person to refer to him, emphasising that by breaking this rule, he became less of a person (even though he was never one to his guardian.) c!Dream didn’t simply imply it, he often said it openly to ensure that it ingrained into the teen’s mind. :) 

The routine that c!Tommy was forced to follow, was extremely effective in bending him to c!Dream’s will, as it comprised of mindless repetitive work, which is believed to be ideal for shattering one’s free will. Every morning, c!Dream made him write down the same lines of what he wanted him to believe in, for example: 

“Hybrids are unnatural, repulsive and dangerous. Hybrid Hunters do us a favour by culling us. Dream was merciful and decided to make me better instead.” (@mcg-127)

“I am inferior because I am a hybrid. I do not deserve to be treated like a human. Dream is teaching me to be a person and to be better than my instincts.” (@mcg-127) 

“Avian vocalisations are irritating, noisy and repulsive, if I want to ever be worthy of being seen as human, I must reject them. They might get me recognised as hybrid, and humans or hybrids would undoubtedly murder me. Dream only punishes me to protect me.”

“I should be grateful that Dream was the one who found me, because other humans are cruel, neglectful and sadistic. Unlike them, he doesn’t see me as entertainment, but genuinely cares for me, provides me with necessities, and is determined to fix and make me more human.”

After it was done, since the early morning, and almost until c!Dream’s return, he had chores to do.

In addition to that, c!Dream often referred to c!Tommy as his pet or possession, and soon enough, the teen stopped questioning it altogether; if his owner said so, it must be true.

As much as c!Dream hated hybrids, he would occasionally bring them up in front of c!Tommy, and refer to them using other pronouns, with the sole purpose of showing that although all hybrids are inferior to humans, c!Tommy would never be equal, even with his own kind.

[libbys-braincell-loss]

I said i would do it before, but since tonights opening night, heres a list of funny things my cast and crew do for the show Puffs that i find really endearing and awesome :))

!!spoilers ahead!!

Act 1

Most if the time, when the Narrator (me) is not onstage, i sit in a little nook on either side of the stage, where i read books, play with a badger plush or my pet pygmy puff (also a plush), write things down, etc. I like to hc that the nook is in the Room of Requirement :) also dw i do get moments where i go backstage and take a break

Wayne wears a jersey with a W on it at the start of the play, it becomes important later

Leanne wears a colorful tutu!

Oliver has a pair of gold glasses

Oliver is from Baltimore, much to his discontent

Snape is played by the same guy who does Ernie Mac, J finch is played by the same guy who does Uncle Dave, and Hannah is played by the same person who does Voldy. Its real funny watching them switch characters

The sorting hat is big fortune teller. I think that was used for a version of the show somewhere else but its so goddamn funny

The training wand Professor McG gives to Oliver is one of those colorful toy wands with glitter and fluid inside that makes it all sparkly

For Professor Turban, he has those red finger lights as Voldy on the back of his turban. One rehearsal they fell on the floor and broke it was really funny

The sorcerers stone that Megan throws to the narrator is just a rock the director found outside. Its really heavy, our stage manager is supposed to paint it red (idk we found the rock yesterday. The rock we usually use fell on the stage and shattered so yeah cant use that anymore rip)

Wayne does a silly robot dance when he mentions Robocop right before meeting Ginny

Ginny is played by our student assistant director, who is a redhead. It couldnt be any other way man she had to be Ginny

Wayne is really tall. Oliver and Megan are around the same size but Wayne towers over them threateningly

When Harry and Ron Mop have a fight and Oliver tries to calm Ron Mop down, at the end Oliver yells at him "How come you get to kiss Emma Watson?!"

Real Mr. Moody has a flask for his potion, like in the series

Cedric wears heart pattern boxers during the bathroom scene. He used to be shirtless but we decided to give him a tanktop cuz it was very weird

The bathroom has a sweet lil ballet segment and we get huge bubble wands!

During the lake watching scene, J Finch falls asleep and starts snoring

Also during that same scene, Leanne panics about the lake and hides her head, then peeks her head out and says "is it gone?"

Viktor is capable of breakdancing!! They do an epic breakdance after the second task!

Each character in the three wizard tournament has a theme song - Frenchy has a french accordian song, Viktor has epic breakdancing music, Cedric has an epic rock and roll guitar riff, and Harry has a silly ukelele song that sounds like a Kevin Macleod song

Cedric and Waynes interaction right before the third task is so wholesome yet heartbreaking

Right before the intermission, i cast a spell to close the curtain

Act 2

Wayne finding out Cedric is dead is the most heartbreaking thing ive ever witnessed. The actor playing him is real silly dude but he got the emotions spot on and i applaud him for it

Ernie and Hannahs sign for "no being too sad" is not all that heavy, but the two actors play it like its the heaviest thing in the planet

J Finch's fav jellybean flavor changes every night. Some of my personal favs of things he has said: "Thermal paste", "plastic", "jellybean flavor", "oh man i forgot what it was, it was really good tho"

When Ernie Mac is fake bullying Hannah so she knows the difference, Ernie says "your face looks like he-whose-name-we-cannot-legally-say" which is funny for 2 reasons: 1, Hannah and Voldy share an actor, and 2, we cant say Voldemort cuz copyright

When J Finch starts "going to the petrified place" after Wayne yells at him, Ernie Mac punches J Finch and yells at him that he cant be too sad

Every single time during the Oliver and Megan kiss scene, Oliver gets Megan's dark lipstick on his face. It is hilarious

When I throw the year 5 book (which is really heavy) to the stage manager, she has decided she would make a new reaction every night. Examples: "hey! Big books hurt!" "You throw like a Puff, AND I MEAN THAT NEGATIVELY!" "The actors are attacking!! Run, stage crew! Run! *slams the door behind them*"

Voldy has a green swim cap and tape on his nose.

When Voldy is giving one of his death buddies a show of affection, midway through he says "i hope you're loving this as much as i am", to which the poor death buddy responds "i hate it 😥"

Oliver and Megan are holding hands while Wayne is asking about grades. Wayne gets sick of it and forces himself between them, breaking their holding hands

Zac Smith is hilarious. Hes played by the same guy who did Cedric before he died in act 1. Zac Smith has so many stupid stories, like one about how he ate a magic muffin, turned into a muffin, and watched his friend who also got turned into a muffin get eaten. Another one is how he watched a magic VHS of the movie Shrek, and the donkey appeared in his home, and he was so annoying that Zac cooked him, and every day he waits for the dragon to come kill him. Most recent one was when he watched a magic VHS of a Midsummer Nights Dream, and had his head turned into a donkey, and was jealous that the donkey man is getting more bitches than him, so Zac decides he'll make his own movie - Zac Smith: the Hot Donkey. I always break character during that scene istg

The actor for Xavia is fantastic. She got that evil dumb mom vibe we needed

Right when Wayne sees Sally Perks leaning in for the kiss, Wayne quickly puts on chapstick and pops his lips. Why, i have no idea but its funny

Megan being torn about whether she should kill her friends or miss this opportunity to be with her mom is absolutely heartbreaking it is so sad :(

During the flashback to when Xavia got recruited, Voldy does the worm and Xavia aggressively flips her hair all over the place.

Voldy canonically does a Jack Sparrow run

Apparently Wayne dances during the flashback scene?? I had never noticed that i need to see that tonight lmao

Xavia struggling to open the doors is so fun. When she gives up she runs into the house, still yelling that she'll be back. Its so golden

The Headmaster falls into the pit for his death. The actor just lays in the pit for the rest of the show until the final important headmaster moment

I have never cried inside harder to a story of how Oliver turned his parents heads into oranges. The scene is so good and emotional :((

Bippy is peak comedy. Bippy is love. Bippy is life. Bippy sprints to the back of the auditorium and its the funniest shit ever

Voldy does amazing crowdwork ngl. He be asking what the difference between witches and wizards are, what the deal with British food is, and what is the purpose of boy bands (they make him want to run the other direction), it gets to the point where the Assistant Director has to take his megaphone away

All the deaths are so sad. I dont really see them all cuz im offstage during the war but when i do catch them its so sad

When Oliver returns hes wearing his scarf like a bandana. You go Karate Kid

Sally drops her glasses before her death. She funbles on the ground trying to find them

When J Finch dies, Ernie cradles him in his arms and its really sad

Bippys death goes on for like years. She just refuses to die until the songs done. Its very funny dear god

Waynes death hurts man

When Wayne arrives at the very white room two guys are holding up a white blanket and they have angel costumes on.

When the Headmaster says "see for yourself" Cedric appears and hands him a Puff scarf. I cant 😭😭😭

Voldy also falls into the pit for his death.

When i show up again as Megan and Olivers child, Wayna, i wear Waynes W jersey he had at the start of the play 😭

"Whether you're a Brave, a Smart, or a... child who vapes in the school bathrooms..."

When Oliver asks Wayna what 3 × 4 is, i act like i know how to solve it. "Oh i got this, 3 times 4, 3 groups of 4, 3 + 3 + 3 +3 is.... i dont know :)"

When i sit in the stool, Waynes arm hands me the Puff scarf. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

During Curtain Call, we all be doing a silly dance. Im dancing with Megan and Oliver, and Wayne runs on to crash the party like he does in play lmao

ALRIGHT THATS ALL

I HOPE YOU LIKED IT THANKS FOR READING MY 12 PARAGRAPH ESSAY

[aholefilledwithtwigs]

Make your own Choose-Your-Own-Adventure stories!

I have been meaning to post about them forever, but Choice of Games (who makes and publishes interactive novels) also released the engine they use to build their interactive novels!

It’s called ChoiceScript and seems very straightforward

Part of what is cool about the platform is they also release hosted games by indy writers, and their platform/storefront is on Steam, Switch, iOS, Android, etc.

I’ve played some of their games, and have thoroughly enjoyed them. Also, they are big big big into representation (basically every story lets you play as a spectrum of genders and sexualities including asexual). Oh and they have a whole romance wing called Choice of Heart because interactive romance is *chef’s kiss*

[seriouslysam8]

What’s your favorite thing about writing the Sirius and Harry godfather&godson bond?

I love that they’re two very emotionally damaged boys who have accepted each other wholeheartedly as their family.

The parallels between them too are so stark and shocking.

Like McG said in the missing moment, the Potters took in a very lose Black and now the Blacks are taking in a very lost Potter. There’s something extremely satisfying about that coming full circle.

[chiriwritesstuff]

I’m so loving every single word of The Girl in IT

Soooooooooo….

Will we ever get see what the other couples are getting up to at work??? 😏😏😏

Mickyla 💜

Mickyla!

Is that something that you guys are interested in? Because I could totally whip something up! I kind of want to write more about the employees at MCG but I wasn’t sure if anyone else is down for it. But if people are game, I can make it happen!

Especially for Bill and Frank. They’re hilarious, and I could totally see Frank just annoying the absolute shit out of Bill while he’s trying to diligently work.

Also, thank you for your kind words! I try, I try really hard! 💜

[thoughtportal]

I should not know who David Zaslav is. I didn’t know who any of the big media CEOs were back when I was a happy little child, and I shouldn’t have to know who any of them are now. I should be able to fire up HBO Max, see that it’s still called HBO Max, treat myself to two horrible, horrible hours of a “Batgirl” movie, and then read a satisfyingly catty review of it in GQ.

Alas, I’m not that lucky. Because Zaslav is the man in charge of frankencorp Warner Bros. Discovery and, in an impressively short period of time, has managed to f—k up nearly everything within its considerable portfolio. Freelance writer Jason Bailey attempted to note all of those f—k-ups for posterity just this week, when he wrote an article for GQ excoriating Zaslav for his pathetic stewardship of WBD. It noted all of Zaslav’s lowlights, which I will repeat here for reasons that will soon become evident. 

Zaslav wrote off that “Batgirl” movie rather than formally release it. He did NOT write off and bury “The Flash,” even though its titular star was an allegedly choke-happy asshole and the movie itself was something that even McG wouldn’t have put his name on (it tanked). He hired a clearly in-over-his-head Chris Licht to oversee CNN, only for Licht to destroy morale within that company even faster than Zaslav could have on his own (Licht has since been fired). And it’s not like CNN was my favorite news source in the universe prior to this. You have to really try to make CNN more inane than it already was. Zaslav did.

FILE: Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav visits “Mornings With Maria” at Fox Business Network studios on April 10, 2019, in New York City. Roy Rochlin/Getty Images

All of these changes were not only unwelcome but also NOTICEABLE. Same as if Dan Snyder owned your favorite NFL team. That’s why Zaslav got booed by students at Boston University while trying to give a commencement speech. It’s why striking Writers Guild of America writers, myself included, have made him the face of studio bosses who want to reduce TV and film writing jobs to gig work. It’s why Zaslav’s crimes against both art and basic consumer preferences need to be put on the record. It’s why Bailey wrote what he wrote, and why he was right to do so: posterity, so that we all know who’s to blame for this f—kery and why they deserve to be remanded to a space prison.

This was a damning blog post but also still just a blog post. All damning stuff but all easily ignored if you’re a captain of industry. Lord knows such men have capably ignored similar attempts to own them online.

FILE: David Zaslav attends the 2022 Time 100 Gala on June 8, 2022, in New York City.Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for TIME

Knowing this, GQ could have, should have, stood by its reporter, especially given that he was a freelancer just trying to earn a living. Maybe if former Editor-in-Chief Jim Nelson was still in charge of the place, it would have. That GQ was both thorough and undaunted. But Variety just reported that current Editor-in-Chief Will Welch is attached as a producer on an upcoming Warner Brothers film that’s based on a GQ story and that he was one of the editors Zaslav’s stooges complained to. So it’s not hard to connect the dots as to why his GQ would abandon its journalistic principles just to please Zaslav. (Multiple sources within GQ told SFGATE they weren't even aware of the controversy until it became public; Bailey politely declined to talk to me for this piece.)

As someone who adored working at GQ, I cannot begin to tell you how much all of this disappoints me. I worked for Nelson. I also worked for the people who annihilated Deadspin and just published their first post written by a bot instead of an actual person. I know the difference between these two leadership styles, and it is stark. You can see it right in the product, and you can see it everywhere in Zaslav’s leadership. Not only is this man a terrible CEO, but he’s also an imperious coward who’s more than willing to swat down anyone who dares question his authority. Our worst kind of rich person.

Maybe Zaslav was able to get Welch to back down from public criticism, but my bosses here at SFGATE won’t be similarly cowed. So, for the permanent record, let me state all of this again flatly: David Zaslav is an eel who sucks at his job. He’s destroying HBO. He’s destroyed what bare credibility the DC Universe had left with moviegoers. He’s forced GQ to willingly debase itself. He’s destroyed TCM. And while he couldn’t get Licht to destroy CNN, he’ll find some other pair of docksiders to finish the job. 

It’s a fact that, in an age of mass consolidation, no one person could possibly run all of a billion-dollar entertainment conglomerate effectively. But David Zaslav has distinguished himself not only by being unable to run ANY part of one but also by being such a brazen coward about that fact. I shouldn’t know who this man is. But here he is, and now he should deal, in full, with what he’s wrought. He’s a parasite: a terrible CEO, an enemy to artists, and a lousy, horrible graduation speaker to boot. I hope he’s strapped to a chair and forced to watch “The Flash” on repeat for the rest of his pathetic little existence. And no, I’m not deleting this.

[macksting]

Snippets 3 - Void Galaxy

(crossposted from Mastodon) I'm watching this old 60s Outer Limits episode and it has me hungering to write that sci-fi story I keep meaning to write about that Earth-like culture in its sixties that's in a void galaxy, and just discovered other galaxies exist, and is theorizing what they are on a sorta speedrun. See, MCG+01-02-015 is a void galaxy, and according to some pop science articles it's the one we've seen that's furthest from anything else. For purposes of the story I'd write, I don't need strict accuracy; they wouldn't call their galaxy by that name anyway. One of the articles indicated that the technology needed to see their nearest neighboring galaxy wouldn't have been available until our 1960s. We knew of the Andromeda Galaxy for a long time before then. An island universe, a spiral nebula, we called it, and knew of others too before then. Finding so many more in the great distance was a surprise, but not the shock of seeing our first neighbor in the void for the first time in the middle of the Cold War. They'd all be redshifted so much, and it wouldn't take long to figure out that's what it was: everything is moving away so fast, so far away and also all closer to each other than to this world, forever. Mostly I think people wouldn't care. The redshifted galaxies would be a big news story, schools would have to change curricula to reflect the new knowledge both of the shape of their own galaxy and of its miniscule importance but also its seemingly unique situation. Cheesy science fiction aliens would suddenly often be from other galaxies, and would be red-skinned, because of course everything is red. (That it's doppler shift would be known, but how people internalize scientific information is not always sensical.) There'd be speeches, there'd be announcements, there'd be discoveries, and life would go on. And a few people would be deeply, profoundly shaken by the intense loneliness of it all. I don't really know what to do with this idea.