#me and my wife are cackling about this idea

[synthsapphires]

the deep sea creatures when a scientist shows up with a flashlight outta no where

[satorena]

❛ UNPROFESSIONALISM ! ❜

⟡ content warnings. explicit content. foul language. ceo!satoru. secretary!reader. mentioned past flings. fondlīng. fīngerīng. afab!reader. p in v. unprotected. brēēding. squīrtīng. gojo satoru is his own damn warning. 4.9k.

⟡ serena's note. oh if y’all knew the lengths i went thru just to post this damn fic. . .

“ugh, this is such a painnn!”

“the sooner you finish your paperwork, the sooner you’re off, sir.” you sigh, arms crossed over your chest. you’re used to your boss’ childish antics by now, having worked side by side with him for nearly a year. you check the time on your watch, “work ended about half an hour ago— you might want to hurry up.”

“but y/n!” he drags out your name, voice all whiny and pitched in a telltale manner. he pushes himself off away from his desk, chair rolling back from the impact as he lolls his head back. “this shit is sooo lame. didn’t i hire nanamin to take care of the boring stuff? how come he isn’t here handling this god forsaken load of terrorizing agony?!”

you click your tongue, clutching tighter at the clipboard in your hold. you wonder if he’d been dropped on the head as a child, his lack of self-awareness so painful it makes you reconsider if the check at the end of the week is ever worth it. “he’s scheduled the week off to keep his wife and newborn in check. he signed off about a month ago.”

he snaps his head up so quickly, you’re positive he’s gotten whiplash. gojo blinks at you through big blue eyes and snowy lashes, a dumbfounded look on his face. he lifts his index to scratch at the corner of his lips, and cocks his head to the side, “ahh. . . ‘s that right? wait— nanamin’s a dad?!”

you feel the vein in your head inevitably tick.

“sir,” you let out an exhausted sigh, completely baffled by his ineptitude. he must purposely choose to do this to you, there’s simply no other explanation. “we attended his wife’s baby shower a few months ago—the one you mistook for a bachelor party and had me escorting the escorts back home.” you lift your pointer finger, brows cinched as the memory burns into your mind. he tilts his head to the side, affirming the idea of his cluelessness even more.

you raised a second finger, “we showed up to the hospital to congratulate them on their baby— and you got them that ridiculous cutout board of yourself that sings when you press on the—”

“the button on my dick, yeah!” gojo cackles as if it’s the funniest story ever, as if you hadn’t need to dump a bucket of water on the cutout figure to get it to shut up before he could get his company sued for emotional distress.

you huff, the stressful reminder of that unfortunate day having you anxiously tugging at the hem of your skirt, “yep. that’s the one.” between the baby’s obnoxious cries and exaggerated mecha-gojo moans, you’d rather not think about that encounter.

“and this whole time i figured she was his sister,” gojo snorts, wiping a faux tear from the corner of his eye. he sighs when his laughter dies down, and pulls him chair back into his desk. “man, his wife’s a babe. guess that explains why she looked at me all crazy when i called her fine the other day.”

“you sure that’s the only reason?” you mutter under your breath, the insult flowing off your tongue so naturally that you couldn’t help stopping it, even if you wanted to. that man was all kinds of deranged, his ego and head much bigger than it needed to be.

“ouch, that’s mean, doll.” gojo pouts, clutching at the material of his blazer above his heart. the back of his free hand lands on his forehead as he dramatically leans back into his seat. his eyelids shut tightly, “you’re wounding me. ‘m too young to die. i can’t go on like this— tell my mother i loved her. sign off my will for me, wouldya? make sure to terrorize nanamin some more. oh, and empty out all my search histories. wouldn’t wanna ruin my reputation. and get rid of my porn magazines beneath my bed. ‘ve got some pretty nasty stuff there. and check up on my kid every now and then. and—”

“alright, alright. i apologize.” you cut his rambling off before it spiralled into something far worse. there’s a full headache throbbing at your temple, your feet ache from your heels, and your stomach rumbles in hunger. you’re ready to go home now, but that won’t be possible unless your big man baby of a boss finishes up his task. “i’m sure you’ve a very suitable man. many would be grateful to have you. my apologies, sir.”

he peeks through an eye, a smug smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. his beaten-puppy look is quickly replaced by one you know far too well now— the look he gets after beating his rival company in terms of stock. the look he gets after successfully shitting on his higher ups. the look he gets after getting you to cum on his fingers after a long day— you’ve stroked his ego. “i’ve trained you well, princess. always flattering me, ohh, however did i get so lucky?”

whatever have you done to get so unlucky? “time’s ticking, sir. you can’t afford to pick up megumi late from practice again.”

“nanamin’s wife might be a babe, but you’re a gem, y’know?” your boss entirely ignores you, leaning his elbow onto the pile of work he’s now completely erased from his existence. he leans his cheek into his palm, fingertips tapping at the side of his head. “one helluva girl. i mean it— i really lucked out with ya.”

you cross your leg over the other, shifting your hips over the suede material of his couch. you recognize the sultry undertone to his voice, and your clear your throat, “is that so?”

gojo chuckles, flashing you all thirty two teeth, “i mean it’s not everyday you find a woman with your patience. god, you must be in love with me or something.”

you roll your eyes, despite the small smile that creeps up on your lips, “that’s certainly not why i stayed,” which wasn’t entirely true, but it’s not as if you haven’t inflated his ego enough today. “you may be a handful but your pockets sure are generous.”

“wouldn’t kill you to make a guy feel good about himself from time to time, ya know?” he fiddled the black pen between his fingers, twirling the object from knuckle to knuckle. he pauses when you don’t answer, noticing you noticing his finger movements. and so he proceeds with a smirk, “you’re always so tense all the time. . . tell me, when’s the last time you’ve been properly fucked?”

you nearly lose the grip on your clipboard at his audacity, the question throwing you off guard. though, you quickly keep composure— a fierce facade that’s always labelled you as the calm and collected kind. though, you’re doubtful it worked against your own boss.

“that’s an unprofessional question, sir.” you grit through teeth, nails scratching at the wooden back of your board. highly hypocritical of yourself, as you’re absolutely no better than he is— having already opened a window of no return that fateful night you accepted his invite to come inside his home.

“pretty sure we’re past unprofessionalism.” he pushes himself off of his desk, rising to his feet. your eyes trail his movements, from the index finger that hooks at his tie to loosen the knot, to the cock of his head to the side that has his hair bouncing, to the sound of expensive shoes clicking with every stride closer to you.

his presence can be oddly intimidating at times— you’ve noticed while working with him for a while. there’re moments like whenever he steps up on a podium in front of thousands of people, or when the elevator doors slide open and presents him to the building. despite his childish antics, he exudes an aura so enchanting that serves as reminder of that at the end of the day, he’s the boss.

you swallow, eyes following his lean figure until he stops right before you. it’s hard to read him in moments like these, when he’s so unlike himself (or maybe finally truly himself). his hands sit in the pockets of his slacks, legs parted enough to entrap your own legs between his, as he tilts his head forward. his irises darken behind tinted shades, bangs curtaining the raise of an eyebrow.

“unprofessional?” he repeats, and your eyes narrow at him, subconsciously gripping at your board tighter. it’s the only thing that you seem to have control over, since it clearly wouldn’t be this conversation. “you mean like that time i had you creamin’ all over my fingers in the back of my car? or unprofessional like that time you bent over my desk and came all over my face? or was it that night when i had to tie your hands together to keep you from runnin’ away?”

your gaze flickers away from his, the heat of embarrassment creeping from your neck all the way to your face. he wasn’t wrong— your relationship with him had passed morally ethical the moment you pulled him in closer to kiss you instead of pushing him away.

“we’re still at work.” you quip, the last bit of resolve tattering away the longer you feel his eyes on you. your roll your ankle nervously, thighs tightening against another.

“work ended half an hour ago sweetheart, remember?” he reminds you, voice as taunting as ever, and you sure as hell don’t need to see him to know he’s smirking. right side of his lips pulled with a moon crescent dimple on the side— he’s making fun of you. “forgettin’ already? can’t have my adorable secretary so overwhelmed that it’s meltin’ her brain. that should be my dick’s doing only, of course.”

you click your tongue, eyes casting back up to stare him dead in the eye. naturally, he’s already meeting your own, with the same damn smirk you’d predicted, “you have paperwork to finish, sir. better get on that quickly.”

“oh?” he laughs at your command, pulling his hands out of his pockets to rest at his hips. he runs his tongue against the top row of his teeth, and you hate the way your mind instantly travels back to days prior when you’d once had that same tongue working in and out of you.

he hums in faux thought, tapping his index against his chin. his lips fall into a pout before instantly stretching back to its default state, his infamous smile, “i suppose you’re right. come help me finish then, hmm? teamwork makes the dream work.”

you’re skeptical— you know him too well, but you’d rather divert the focus of attention from you to those papers. anything to prevent your mind from wandering off further into endless unprofessional possibilities. “lead the way, boss.”

he curtsies dramatically as you rise to your feet, stomping over to his desk. you notice he’s got shit done, and you’ll most likely be here for a minute. and so, you stand next to the chair he’d abandoned and pick up the pen, waiting for him to sit so you both could get started.

only you should’ve known you’d fallen right into his trap the minute you agreed to his ridiculous offer. you feel him pressed up behind you, lurking over your shoulder to study whatever you had going on. he’s unreasonably tall, frame so large it has you feeling frail in his presence, and his cologne so strong you feel it already clouding your judgement.

damn it all.

clicking your tongue, you tilt your head to the side to narrow your eyes, “well? are you not going to sit?”

gojo blinks at you, “how come? i enjoy the view here much better anyway.”

you roll your eyes, before turning back to his desk. he was a complete idiot if he thought you hadn’t already anticipated his next moves. the more your wrist flexes, mumbling the words you read on your sheets as you write them down, the more you felt him. you could feel the back of your thighs meeting the from of his, you could feel his bulge rubbing at your ass, you could feel his warm breath fanning at the slope of your neck.

damn it all.

“sales have risen to a—ahhn!” your pen falters in your grip, scribbling on the white sheet as it hits the desk. your eyelids shut close, teeth clamping down on your bottom lip as a warm mouth kisses at that sensitive spot behind your ear. your palm lays flat against the surface of the table, side by side with gojo’s, body tensing as his mouth trails down lower.

“oh you bastard,” you mutter, shaky hand attempting to grab the pen in an unsteady hold. his chuckle rumbles deep from his chest, and you feel the vibrations against your back. you’re determined to stand your ground, despite the urge to push your hips back into him. he may have soft lips and an annoyingly hot voice, but you would not falter— no matter the moisture of his breath sending shivers down your spine.

you think you have it set in stone, the pen in your hold— albeit unsteady— despite his large hand creeping up your thigh. every trail of his touch leaves an electrifying feeling, and you’re sure he’s noticed your trembling knees if the way he subtly slid his leg in between yours to keep you steady said anything.

it’s when you’re ready to scribble out your mistake to replace it that he decides to plunge his canines to your jugular. the moan that erupts from you is squeaky, your hand clutching tightly at the pen as your back arches into his chest from the painful pleasure.

gojo nibbles and sucks at your skin, running his tongue over the throbbing area to soothe the pain, fingers trailing closer to your now aching core. you’re positive your skirt has now hiked up with how much your hips are pushing back into his, head lolled forward.

“aweee, what’s the matter sweetheart? ‘s too much for you already?” gojo coos, sultry voice sending chills from the shell of your ear down to your core, finally slipping his hand inside of your skirt. his fingertips brush at your clothed clit, the material of your thong shamefully damp in arousal. you huff, nails scratching at his desktop when his index and middle finger rub painfully slow circles at your clit. “but we’ve barely done anything? tsk, can’t afford slowing the company down because you’re too distracted to focus.”

your thighs and arms threaten to give out, body heating with lust and desire. you want to say you hate this, that this is against your typical work ethics, to tell him to fuck off and do the work himself. but the focus on your pussy really has you melting puddle, bottom lip tugged on to suppress any louder sounds to escape.

“y-you’re the worst.” you complain, though it fades into another moan when he pushes his thigh up in between your legs. you’re internally thankful, because had this gone any further, you’re certain you would’ve sunken to the floor.

“love you too, pretty girl.” he presses a kiss at your jaw, fingers pushing past your panties. fuck any resolve you’d held onto— you chuck the pen far away, planting both palms down as you allowed him to take control. every rub of his fingers at your clit had you dripping down his thigh, to where your hips shifted and rolled down his leg, dragging out that blissful heat in your gut.

“givin’ up already? y’didn’t put much of a fight this time, can’t say i’m a disappointed.” his free hand grips at your thigh and trails up to your hips, resting at your flesh to guide you down his leg. he’s all too enthralled by your sensitivity, gaze zeroed in on your expressions— from the slackness at your jaw to the way your brows furrow.

“just h-hurry up already,” you grit, eyelashes fluttering as your eyelids lift. your gaze meets his instantly, and gulp at the hungry look in his eyes. his skin is already flushed pink, lips parted as he pants heavily. “you’re no—ngh, better than i am, dickhead.”

“well aren’t ya damn mouthy,” gojo acknowledged, though clearly unbothered, as his fingers pinch at that bundle of nerve. you gasp, cunt clenching as it leaks more of your essence down on him. your head drops back against his shoulder, the slope of your back curving as you grip onto the closest thing in your vicinity— the hem of his blazer. “hm, whatever happened to my obedient secretary? always so polite and respectful, don’t tell me i haven’t trained you enough?”

“m-maybe you haven’t,” you pant, chest heaving as you feel his fingertips teasing the entrance of your folds. they’re slow movements, applying just enough pressure to ignite the spark in your guts but not enough to leave you wanting more. “can’t even do your damn j-job right and you call yourself boss? hah, wonder if mister geto would have this issue— fuuuck!”

“low fuckin’ blow, sweets.” gojo chuckles darkly, now two fingers knuckle deep in your cunt. he wastes no time to plunge himself inside, knuckles rubbing at your velvety walls. you clamp down on his digits, desperate to keep him in for the sake of that orgasm you craved. “and here i was ready to put this pretty pussy in my mouth. you’re dickless for a few days and catch an attitude wimme? that’s cold, baby.”

“dickless?” you cock a brow, teeth gritting as you focus all your energy left on delivering your next line. he always got so cocky whenever he had a slight advantage. “a-according to who—ooh, god, shit!”

“ooh god, shit!” gojo mocks you, a third finger now joining the others. he scissors your cunt open, the slick of your arousal simplifying the slide in. you’re dripping down to his palm, so wet despite the front you’re putting up. he knows you love it whenever he angles his fingers at this angle, the one that has you knees weak and ready to fold. “face it sweets, i’m the only one who treats this pussy the way it deserves. see how well she responds to me?”

and you wish you could negate or deny him, but unfortunately, you both know he’s correct. he’s only got his fingers inside of you and you’re already at your limit. your hips eagerly chase his fingers whenever he pulls out just to thrust them back in, the pad of his thumb drawing infinity signs at your clit. your tongue feels heavy in your mouth, knot in your tummy tightening from the stimulation.

“nghhh, ‘m gonna cum,” your hand slides down the slope of his forearm till where his wrist begins. you claw at the bone, clutching and grabbing at him eagerly. damn him and his damned fingers— driving you to mush with all six inches. “more, hah, need more— gimme more!”

“manners, pretty baby.” gojo coos at your ear, despite upping his pace. his hands reach all the right spots, pussy desperate to hold out to his fingers as they fuck your cunt open, soaking the digits in your slick. “c’mon girl, what’s the magic word? i know you’ve got it in you.”

“p-please! pleasepleaseplease—” you’re cut off by your own gasp as the dam in your stomach finally breaks. you leak on his fingers, squirting your juices as your muscles convulse, walls entrapping him in. your back arches away from him and you grasp at anything in your reach, your mouth gaped. you’re cussing like a sailor, vision blacked out beneath your eye lids as your hips twitch and stutter against gojo’s ruthless pace.

your high washes down, as you lose feeling in your limbs, falling face down to the desk. your skin is moist with heat, mouth parted as drool coats the abandoned paperwork beneath you. your body twitches with oversensitivity, thighs quaking as your last few spurts spray all over gojo’s thigh.

“don’t tell me you’re all worn out from a little foreplay?” your boss teases, his free hand delivering a blow onto your ass cheek. it recoils as you jolt, snivelling like a baby. you hear the sound of his belt unbuckling, slacks falling next and pooling at his ankles. the next few moments happen in a blur, but sooner than you’d realized, you’d been turned onto your back with your legs propped over his shoulders and your folds were being played with again, the overstimulation having your toes curling in your heels.

“anddd there we go,” gojo strokes at his bricked cock, your essence serving as lube to coat his dick. he drags his fist from the base of his shaft to the tip, both your fluids and his pre cum mixture softening the jerk. “you fuckin’ water park. jeez, maybe i should plug this tiny cunt to prevent any further leakage, yeah?”

“fucking hurry already!” you don’t whine, or so you hope, though the grip of your legs at the back of his neck does tighten. with your skirt hiked up and your panties pushed to the side, gojo has a clear view of your twitching pussy, a hole designated intentionally just for him. he can already feel the cum in his balls ready to burst and fill your womb.

“and back to mouthy she goes,” he chuckles, using the leverage of his hand at his cock to slap his dick at your folds. the impact causes you to whimper, your hands clutching at the border of the desk. you wish you could wipe that smirk off his face, but fuck if the way he didn’t rub himself against you arouse you in ways that would surely haunt you after the orgasmic high faded away.

“take a deep breath for me baby, kay?” gojo instructs, thumb brushing over the skin above your hip bone, and before you’re able to retaliate, he slides in his dick.

his length is nothing to scoff at, and although you’ve already dealt with it in the past, all that prepping he’d done earlier seemed in vain. he bottoms out quickly, balls deep into you cunt. both your moans blend in harmony, overlapping one another as you settle with the aching stretch. your pussy clenches around his cock uncontrollably, both eager to push and pull him away.

“shittttt,” he whines throatily despite the huge grin on his lips. the flush pampering his skin has gotten significantly deeper, pale brows furrowed to the centre of his forehead. his hands grip at your plush thighs, fingers digging deep into your skin, surely enough to leave bruises. the bastard— he knew you’d be forced to wear your own slacks tomorrow to avoid suspicions.

“no fuckin’ way ‘m already set to bust— hah, fuck, what in the magical pussy is this?” gojo groans, snowy hair bouncing with his head thrown back. the tighter you grip at his cock, the tighter he grips at your thighs and the deeper his breaths are.

you push yourself up to your elbows, giggling at the irony of the situation. “already huh? so it wasn’t the liquor’s fault last time.” surely you were no better, entirely stimulated and body excreting all kinds of fluids from all over, but the ball was now in your court, and you planned on taking advantage. “s-should’ve known.”

naturally, he doesn’t rise to your bait, instead moving his hips away from yours, slowly dragging his cock out until the only part left in your cunt is his pink tip. “don’t make me make you eat your words, sweets.”

you raise your hand and rest it right above his pelvis, eyes set straight on his. you’re both clearly eager and ready to go, but you still had your dignity to uphold. you drag your palm upwards his torso, nails trailing up his button-up top teasingly before clutching at his tie. with the strength left in you, you yank him down and closer to you.

the shift in position stirs his dick in your cunt, knees now pressed closer to your chest. he hovers over you, a newfound look in his eyes you aren’t ready to divulge into—he was a very expressive man after all. both your lips ghosts one over another, breaths hot and mingling. you feel fuzzy, all senses fucked but collectively drawing at a same conclusion: wanting him to fuck your brains out on this desk.

“fuckin’ hell that was sexy.” it almost comes off a whisper, his tone breathless as his eyes bare deep into your. you feel the warmth of his hands fading away in favour to cup at your waist.

you tilt your head to the side, nose grazing against his. your fingers fiddle with the hem of his tie, despite never breaking the eye contact. “you gonna rock my world now?”

nothing more has to be said as he engulfs your mouth into his, knocking the wind out of you. his tongue explores the warm cave of your mouth, no inch left untouched. you moan and kiss him back just as eagerly, sliding the hand from his neck tie to his nape. your fingers thread through his soft locks, nails scratching his scalp and tugging at the roots.

he whimpers pathetically, the pain sending courses of arousal straight to his dick as his hips slam right back against yours. his thrust is rough and deep— leaving you gasping, as he takes the opportunity to kiss you even deeper while simultaneously working on his strokes.

the curve of his cock reaches even deeper than his fingers could manage, rubbing at your gummy walls and stretching them even wider. the sounds of your bodies connecting, your skins slapping, both your fluids mixing— everything felt so wanton, so filthy. he was everywhere, so far in your stomach you swear you could feel him in your throat.

the stretch of his cock at your pussy sent a fiery feeling spreading towards all of your limbs. the squelching of your pussy tightening and clenching at his dick filling the room. he soon picked up his pace, railing into you with every fibre in his body, loving the way your body bounced up in reaction to his thrusts.

“s-shit, oh fuck— don’t stop, ngh, right there!” you begged, throwing your head back against the hard surface. you’d given up on trying to keep your eyes open, the intensity of his dick ramming into your guts so fierce, you’d never felt anything like it.

he takes a sharp inhale of breath, followed by a whiny exhale. you were driving him insane, your sloppy cunt greedily clamping on his dick as if it were its lifeline. “suckin’ me in so tight, shitttt baby, ‘s like you want me to fill this perfect pussy full of my nut.” he dives his tongue deeper into your mouth for extra measure. you’re in a turmoil of multiple emotions at once but you kiss him back— until your lips feel tender and your mouth tastes of his breath.

he was annoyingly intoxicating, whether you wanted to admit it or not. your body spoke every word you were ashamed to say, responding with his own almost too perfectly.

when he slips his thumb to toy at your clit, your toes curl in your shoes and you’re accustomed to the oncoming feeling all too well, nails clawing at his skin. your words come out all fumbled mixed with tongue and drool, “s-satoru, i— ‘m gonna, don’t you stop— fuck ‘s too much— hnng!” you pull away just slightly, eyes all dazed as they roll to the back of your skull.

“shit, oh shit, me too,” he swipes at the drool dribbling past your mouth. from there, he plants more kisses at your skin, nibbling at every inch of you. he’s rutting like a madman, pace unforgiving as he focuses on that same spot that has you mindless. he finds you prettiest when you’re this way— all obedient for him. “my pretty girl— where do i— fuck, where—”

“inside.” as if you’d wanted to kill him, just as quick the word left your lips, he emptied his balls in your cunt. he sobs, his orgasm wracking over his entire body as he slams and fills your pussy full of him. the mixture of sounds is downright sinful, and whether it’d been the focus on your clit or his inhumane stamina, you soon met your similar end.

you cream on his dick once more, legs trembling as your second orgasm washes over you. your mind gone dumb, you do nothing but lay as you take the pounding inflicted on your worn out pussy. with each stroke you see stars, breasts juggling at the match of his pace. it’s damn near painful, but in the best enjoyable way. you feel yourself getting fuller by the second as you spray more of your arousal onto him.

the high eventually comes down for you both, the room reeking of sex. you’re both panting heavily, muscles twitching from overexertion. you couldn’t recall the last time you’d been fucked to the point of a momentary blackout— but you’d be damned if you’d ever let him know. he was too busy crying over your cunt anyways.

after a moment of silence, “. . .shit.”

“what?” you hum tiredly, rubbing the back of your hand to your tired hands. god, you could barely muster enough energy to do just that. what did this man eat?

he skips a few beats, before sheepishly chuckling, the hand that’d once been tracing patterns at the skin of your thighs now moving to your side. your gaze follows his movements, and it’s only when he retracts his hand does your heart sink to your chest.

“we definitely fucked these papers up.”

. . . shit.

io baby.. if you ever end up reading this i did it :c

[undreaming-fanfiction]

I love a good florist Steve, but what I love even more is a good but naturally bitchy florist Steve.

He'd have his own flower shop and years of dating experience behind his belt. He is not just a good boyfriend, he is THE good boyfriend. Going to his shop isn't just to buy a bouquet of flowers, oh no. It's a whole relationship coaching thing, he teaches husbands to do better, gives courage to teenagers asking their crushes out, gives advice regarding flower language to elderly ladies who just want to be slightly passive-aggressive...you know, the normal thing.

He has a catalogue with flower pictures to help people who have no idea what the flowers are called, they just know they were orange and didn't easily wilt.

He shows a local teenager the cheaper but still fancy options and throws in a bunch of free flowers that aren't really up to his standards. "Okay, you say she likes pink flowers. Does she like things to be a bit more decorated or does she prefer simplicity? You don't know? Okay, can you describe what she normally wears? No, I'm not being creepy, but you can sometimes tell the person's preferences from their clothes. Now answer or leave dateless."

He chats with the elderly ladies of Hawkins when they ask for a flower to gift to their fellow church ladies when they host their meetings. He cackles when he hears some of their orders. "Oh wow, Ethel, a yellow hyacinth? Would you like a gift card with that, something like sorry you're such a jealous hag? No? Of course I know the meaning, it's my job."

"Are you expeting her to say yes to the date with that atrocity on your face? Yes, I know it's a moustache. But it's also an atrocity. Shave it and thank me later. Now, would you like a ribbon for that bouquet?"

And most of all, he grills the unlucky conservative men in Hawkins who come to him for flowers for their wives without any idea what they like. "I see, so you want something pretty. What does your wife like? Flowers? Well, that's not specific. What kind of dresses does she wear? Expensive? Can you tell me anything about your wife's personality? ...nagging. No, I can't just mix something together, unlike you, I take pride in gift giving. Okay. I don't think this is a shop for you. Yes, that's what I'm saying, I won't play a part in your wife's disappointment. Oh sure, go take your money elsewhere, but I can give you this advice for free - you married a unique human being, so treat her like one. And if you really want a happy marriage - maybe come back when you learn something about her as a person. No need for that language, have a good day, sir."

For those that are more receptive, he goes through their partners' personalities and hobbies, suggesting date options and absolutely roasting the bad ones. "A football match. When your girlfriend hates sports. I don't care if it's your boys playing, you can try telling her that this is important to you and you'll take her out another time, but if you try to pass this as a date, you'll be single before you say "sorry". A date is for you as a pair, not for you only."

But the best thing his shop brings him is Eddie Munson, who sneaks in, absolutely ready to be roasted, and asks for a bouquet of bright colorful flowers for his best friend Chrissy. "She just got divorced from her asshole husband and I want to show her that she can have nice things. Platonically. But she deserves so much more. Uh...she really loves warm colors, so maybe yellows and oranges? What are they called...gerberas! She likes gerberas! And she likes things to be a bit messy and imperfect, so maybe some leaves there as well? A green ribbon would be nice."

And Steve just beams at him as he gets to work and says "Oh wow. Whoever your partner is, they are so lucky if you remember all of these things even for your friends. Makes a guy jealous."

Eddie just wiggles his eyebrows at Steve and mutters, "that position's sadly open. Has been for a while. Interested?" and he almost faints against the counter when Steve turns around.

Eddie is ready to run.

But Steve just fluffs his hair, reapplies his lipgloss and asks: "Where do I apply?"

[alastor-simp]

Hugging Them Out of Nowhere - Lucifer Morningstar, Cherri Bomb, Vox and Valentino

Here is the second part of the hugging headcanon with the other hazbin characters. I am going to try to make Valentino be a bit more approachable in this story since I know he is on this fandoms hit list.Will contain spoilers from some episodes. Enjoy!

Lucifer Morningstar🐥

🐥"OH! Ummm.....something wrong? Did you want to play with one of my rubber ducks?” Lucifer would have no idea what is going on. He will be stood like a statue, while holding one of his signature ducks. Despite being the king of hell, this man is an awkward softie.

🐥Lucifer was officially staying at the hotel now after its renovation after the fight with Adam. It was nice that he was finally making an effort with Charlie’s dreams and acting like a father.

🐥However, this poor man suffered from depression, due to being stressed being the king of hell and also thinking about his wife leaving. Man couldn’t catch a break.

🐥His bedroom is where he would stay when he was like that, crafting another duck figurine at his desk. He hadn’t noticed you coming into his room to see how he was. The minute he felt arms wrap around him is when he realized your presence.

🐥 “Ummmmmmmm….hi there?” Lucifer just remained in the position he was in, staring at you, trying to figure out what was happening. Soon, you had let him go, wearing an apologetic smile.

🐥 “I’m sorry, your highness.” Lucifer jumped when he heard that and waved his hands. “OH! Just call me Lucifer or Luci! Don’t need to be formal with me!” You smiled at him and nodded your head. The both of you stared at each other for a bit before he broke the silence and asked why the sudden hug.

🐥Feeling shy, you rubbed the back of your neck, “Well, I noticed you seemed more melancholic than usual today. Usually when I am sad, a hug always makes me feel better so I thought maybe that would help you.” Red pupils continued to stare at you making you feel nervous, wondering if you had upset him

🐥Your body was met with a strong impact, as Lucifer tackled you in a hug, squeezing you tightly to the point it was hard to breathe. His face was in the crook of your neck, as he continued to squeeze. “C-can’t br-eath.” Gasping out an answer, you felt Lucifer let you go, by still placed his hands on your shoulder.

🐥 “S-sorry! Sorry! I forget my own strength sometimes haha! You okay? No broken bones?” He kept moving his head to peer at you, making sure you were alright. His actions caused you to laugh, surprising him. “You’re such a dad.” Lucifer then smiled at that, placing a hand on his chest, “Of course I am! I am hells number one daddy!” That sentence caused you to cackle, confusing Lucifer even more. “Hahahaha! Don’t ever say that again!” Lucifer tilted his head at you: “Wait, what did I say?”

🐥His clueless side to him was quite cute at times. You managed to calm down. “Lucifer, if you ever need someone to talk to or have another one of your depressed episodes, come find me okay. I’ll be there to listen and also provide comforting hugs." He wore a shocked expression, before he broke into a kind smile, patting your head. "Thank you."

🐥The relationship the both of you had improved a lot. He was more open with you and would discuss his problems. He was kind enough to bring you to his workshop, showing you how to make his prized ducklings. You received a nice surprise when you went into your room and saw a duck figurine that resembled you, with a red rose lying next to it.

Cherri Bomb🍒

🍒"Woah! Hey bit✪✪!! Why the sudden tackle? You looking to throw down?" Cherri is very hyperactive and fun-loving, you almost never see her depressed about anything. She is either throwing bombs during turf wars or partying at the club with Angel Dust. She wasn't close with everyone at the hotel except Angel, but she was friendly as long as you didn't do something to piss her off.

🍒However, she does have a sensitive side to herself, but she puts up a tough guard to hide it. The three of you, yourself, Cherri and Angel were partying at a popular sex club, chugging down shot after shot. It took you a while to notice, since you were slightly buzzed, that Cherri had a more sad expression on her face then usual. You were about to question what was wrong, but she got up quickly from the bar, saying she was going out for a quick smoke.

🍒Sensing something else was going, on you let Angel know that you would be right back, before following after Cherri. Looking everywhere, you were able to find her on the patio deck of the club, smoking a cigarette while leaning on the metal bar. She didn't noticed you until she heard the sound of the door sliding and saw you walking towards her.

🍒 "Oh! Hey hoe! Whatcha doing out here? Craving a smoke too?" She was smiling wide at you, but you can tell that it was forced. Walking closer to her, you threw her arms around her, causing her one eye to stare at you in shock. ""Woah mate! Whats wrong with ya?" She patted one of your arms, wondering what was going on. "Cherri, drop the act already. I saw that look on your face in the club. There is obviously something going on. So come on, spill it."

🍒 Cherri's eye just widen further and the smile on her face dropped. She turned her head down, not saying a word to you as you kept holding her. "AGH! I'm just pissed with myself at the moment! I'm trying so hard to obtain the level of overlord, but it's not working. I need that status, so I can help Angie to be rid of that moth fu✪✪face!!" Cherri yelled out, as she threw the cigarette from her hand, while punching the metal bar with her fist. You continued to listen to her, and hugged her tighter.

🍒You both stayed like that for a bit, before you spoke: "You will do it Cherri Bomb! I believe in you and so does Angel Dust. Its gonna be hard in the beginning, but you can do it. I want the same for Angel too and I'll try to help in anyway I can." After that little speech you gave, you felt Cherri shaking with laughter. "AHAHAHA! Sorry mate, but you fighting in turf wars? I'm sorry, but your baby face is way to sweet to be considered a threat!" Her words cause you to pout. "Still, thanks mate for coming out here and making me feel better." She moved her body, positioning herself so she could hug you back.

🍒The both of you let go after that, just in time for Angel Dust to come, wondering where the both of you went. "Cherri? Toots? What's going on? Y'all been gone for a while, I thought you bailed on me!" The both of you laughed and walked closer to Angel. "Nothing Angel. Just having some girl talk." You didn't want to tell Angel what had happened before since you probably expected Cherri didn't want to worry him. You felt an arm wrap around your shoulder, and pulled you closer to them. Cherri smiled down at you before looking back at Angel. "Sorry Angie, got distracted. Lets get back to the party! I owe you a drink Y/N!" Cherri looked down at you when she said that before pulling you to the bar, with Angel following behind, wearing a smirk.

🍒Cherri exchanged numbers with you after that. She chatted with both you and Angel on the regular. Her messages were very wild and enthusiastic, either sending a picture of herself in a fight or just making funny inappropriate jokes. She had invited you to her crib to hang out at one point. You should consider yourself lucky, cause she only invites the people she cares about to her place, so the fact that she did that means she considers you a very close friend. She has offered to help train you too, since she noticed your lack of skill in combat, so she wanted to help prepare you. She knew that it would help you in the long run and also allow you to tag team together in a turf war.

Vox📺

📺Hugging Vox was not as simple as you think. He had a reputation to uphold as one of the three Vee's. Also he didn't like being touched.

📺He was an alright guy despite his massive ego. You had been in his business for a while, so you knew quickly how he function and acted in certain situations. His mood had been very sour lately, since he had just realized his arch enemy, the radio demon was back after disappearing for seven years. His great plan was to call Alastor out during one of his video podcasts, only to be mocked down by Alastor, causing him to short circuit and cause all the power to be cut off.

📺Vox remained in his office after that, fuming. His screen was flickering every once in a while, as blue sparks kept popping up around him. You hesitated a bit, as you stood at the door to his office, contemplating if you should go in a calm him down or just let him cool off on his own. Finally reaching a decision, you walked in.

📺He was sitting in his large red chair, in front of his multiple screens. The back of the chair was facing you, as you walked closer to wear he was. Having reached closer to him, you look at him, seeing if he was okay. He was leaned back against the chair, hands covering his screen. It was mumbling something to himself, which was hard to make out, but you heard some words like "alastor" and "a✪✪hole."

📺Clearing your throat, you allowed your presence to be know to him. Vox jumped a bit, before removing one of hands to look at you. He was clearly irritated, given the scowl on his face. "The hell you doing in here? I made in clear I was not to be disturbed." You bounced back a bit at his tone, but you stood strong. "I apologize, sir. I had come to see if you were alright, since you have been in here for a few hours." Vox continued to glare at you before putting his hand back to cover his face. "Argh! That old fashion radio di✪✪head still has me pissed off!" You listen to him rant, and wanted to at least find a way to ease his emotions. "Will you allow me to help calm you down?"

📺Vox removed his hands from his face, his screen eyebrows arched up a bit. He gave a sigh and just waved his hand in the air, saying to do whatever. Taking a deep breath, you walked closer to Vox, leaning down to wrap your arms around him. Vox just froze, hands raised up in shock. He wasn't expecting something like this. After a few seconds, you let him go and stood back up, rubbing your neck. "Sorry! I- That always use to make me feel better whenever I am upset about something, so I though that would help you." You continued to look down away from Vox, afraid that you overstepped.

📺You slowly look back at him, hoping he wasn't more enraged. He surprisingly wasn't, but was more stumped then anything. Soon his screen face lit up with his blue-teethed smile. "Well that was a surprise! Didn't expect you to do that?" He continued to smirk at you, which made you twiddle your fingers. "Sorry." Vox just gave a huff, turning his face away. "Well I didn't hate it." That comment surprised you. You weren't able to see his face,, but his screen looked a tad pinkish, but it was hard to make out. Letting out a cough, he turned back and stretched. "Well time to get back and do some overlord work. You can head back and do whatever." Smiling, you bowed your head a bit, "Very well, sir." You turned around, beginning to walk back to the sliding doors. "Vox." You stopped and turned back, "I'm sorry?" Vox spun his chair, around facing you, "You can call me Vox." His face was hard to read, since you never seen him with that kind of expression before. He slowly turned back around, back of the chair facing you now.

📺He was a bit different after that whole interaction. Yes, he was still the egotistical Vox, but he acted a bit softer when he was with you behind closed doors. He would ask how your day was and how the new Voxtech sales were coming along. He tried to have you around more, whenever he was doing his podcasts or having a meeting with the other Vees. You noticed his eyes staring at you, with a sort of soft look, but he would quickly turn around like nothing was happening.

Valentino🦋

🦋It wasn't easy to offer Valentino a hug. He was one of the the three V's, the overlords that dominated most of Pentagram city. Valentino was a busy man, since he controlled a lot of the lustful side of the city, so he was either surrounded by hot demons or working as the director for his porn videos.

🦋 However, he was prone to hissy fits, that would result in him either breaking multiple things in his office or injure one of Velvette's models. You weren't sure what caused this tantrum, but you could hear Valentino's squeaks of rage from his office.

🦋After a couple minutes, it began to quiet down, giving you a sign that it was safe to enter his office now. Opening the door to his office, you saw the mayhem that was now his office space. Papers had scattered the floor, some clothes were throw on the ground and broken pieces of glass were scattered everywhere on the floor. In the middle of the room was a giant red smoke cloud, likely containing the moth himself. You could see him a bit through the smoke, wearing a scowl, but his eyes were closed.

🦋You didn't say a word, and just started to clean up the mess. Valentino peeked his eye out to look at you, and closed it again. After fixing his clothes and throwing away the shards of glass, you picked up the papers, assembling them in a stack and walk over to his desk. Placing them down, you looked up at the moth man in front of you. He was still wearing a scowl, while muttering little curses under his breath. "Umm..Mr. Valentino?", calling out his name, you approached a bit closer, to where you were standing near his chair. Valentino opened his eyes, flashing crimson at you. "What is it?" his tone was still agitated, and his eyes were glaring at you.

🦋You fiddled with your fingers for a bit, then you slowly got closer to him, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. He was very tall, but since he was sitting down, it was easier for you to place your arms around his back, putting you head next to his neck Valentino let out a little squeak in shock, his multiple arms jumping up, which caused the pipe in one of his hands to drop to the ground. "Oh~ You looking to play gatita?" You could tell he was smirking at what you were doing. You shook your head, "I'm not doing this to have sex with you. I'm giving you a hug to cheer you up." Valentino was quiet after you said that. You were about to let go, thinking you made him more upset, but you felt his arms pull you closer, lifting you up to have you sit on his lap. His head bent down as well, leaning closer to your neck.

🦋None of you had said a word, as you continued to hug each other. You felt a pair of lips kiss your neck, giving you goosebumps. Slowly Valentino removed his head from your neck. His two hands moved to push you back, before placing the both of them on your cheeks. He was wearing a very tender expression, it was quite a surprise to see since you only saw him with a smirk or glare. "Gracias hermosa." Leaning down, he placed a kiss on your forehead, causing you to blush.

🦋His attitude with you change entirely after that. He was still a horny bastard, but he cooled it down for you. He wanted you with him at all times, either next to you or sitting on his lap. Vox took a notice to how different Valentino was being, but he didn't question it, since it saved him time and prevented him from having to come and calm Valentino down himself. Valentino began to send you little gifts as well, you expected something erotic like vibrators, but surprisingly, you got roses and beautiful jewelry. He started addressing you by your name more, or he would called you "hermosa" like he did when he kissed your forehead. Welp, looks like you have a giant moth demon attracted to you now.

~END~

(Sorry no Velvette in this headcanon. It is hard for me to write her character. Maybe i'll do a separate headcanon for just Velvette when I have time)

Tag List:

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[sheastri]

Hell N Back ft. op81

Pairing: oscar piastri x fem!black reader

Genre: Social Media AU with story

Summary: In which the reader was finally done with love until Oscar came into her life and charmed (all he had to do was exist) her into giving love another chance.

Warning(s): None.

A/N: Recently been thinking about f1 so I decided why not write??Title inspired by "Hell N Back Bakar ft. Summer Walker" because I've been obsessed with it lately!! No specific fan cast, just photos off of Pinterest.

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The First Meeting

2 years ago

Y/n was walking down a street flooded by shops all around her with her best friend, A'lidyah. The two women were in deep conversation about love. Y/n was almost sure she would never comfortably be in love again and A'lidyah was telling her that love comes to you when you least expect it.

"You shouldn't fully mark it off because of a few mishaps. And love comes in so many different forms and can be found in so many different aspects of life." A'lidyah explained while moving her hands to emphasize her point.

"You know what, you're right. I love seeing the smiles of the people who walk the streets, I love skipping through town hand in hand, and I love music. I'm so grateful to have you in my life, like seriously." Y/n said smiling at her friend sincerely. A'lidyah returned the smile saying something along the lines of "life would be so dull without you, i thank God for you everyday." The conversation then resumed, the two girls having smiles seemingly permanently edged on to their faces.

While Y/n was speaking she momentarily shifted her eyes to glance at something on the side of the street that A'lidyah stood on and in that quick second she had walked into someone. He managed to catch her by her waist before she had fallen and she immediately began apologizing before looking up at the man.

As Y/n shifted to meet the gaze of her saving grace, she found she was met with a face that displayed the thoughts crossing her mind at the moment. Wide eyes and mouth agape, the man must've been experiencing the shock that circled her mind at the moment. She only broke through this trance at the sound of a witch like cackling that could come from no one other than A'lidyah. Y/n raised her eyebrow and side eyed her best friend with a smile on her face before turning her attention back on to the man who stood in front of her.

They exchanged eye contact one last time before his hold on her waist loosened and Y/n stepped back and bent down to pick up the things that fell on the floor. Oscar soon joined her and then apologized for almost knocking her over.

"Ah, no worries it was mostly my fault and I was able to be saved by a handsome man so I'd say we're pretty even?" Y/n responded cheekily.

"A handsome man? And then you a beautiful woman? Almost seems like a match made in heaven, wouldn't cha say?" The man said while his face was very clearly flushed and he looked like he had to muster up all his confidence and self-control to not stutter. His pupils then went off to the side catching another woman in his line of sight. Seeing that the man had directed his attention to her A'lidyah began to speak.

"That's actually perfect, Y/n needs someone other than me to add a little bit of pizazz and all that fun stuff to her life, mind giving her a name?" A'lidyah says holding back a teasing smile. "Oh that's my bad. The names Oscar, Oscar Piastri. It's nice to meet you Y/n and..."

"Oh I'm A'lidyah! Her wife, her wingman, her manager, and most importantly her best friend. Oscar meet Y/n, Y/n meet Oscar!" The girl says enthusiastically. The two laugh but greet each other anyway.

They exchanged numbers and that day when Y/n went home she found the idea of love just a bit more appealing and Oscar... well let's just say his google history was flooded with many "Do I Have a Crush?" quizzes, a lot more "How to Know if Your in Love" blogs, and one slightly embarrassing question that his friends would definitely tease him about, not that they wouldn't tease him about what he had already been searching up anyway.

Y/n is now following Oscar Piastri

Oscar Piastri is now following Y/n

♫ Could you tell where my head was at when you found me? Me and you went to hell and back just to find peace ♫

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Current Time

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, whosalidyah, mclaren and 276,943 others

yourusername last photo is from me and lidyah's latest gossip session

view all 7,983 comments

whosalidyah not your boy in the likes...🤭

yourusername guys what is this crazy woman talking about?? username girl... you are NOT slick username not alidyah exposing her😭

carlossainz55 can't wait to meet you at our next race!

liked by creator

username anyone noticed that both oscar and mclaren liked??

username that's suspicious🤨 username that's weird...

oscarpiastri no photo creds after standing in the middle of the road to take that second one??

yourusername you're still alive and well?? landonorris justice for my boy oscar😪 whosalidyah burning all my number 4 mclaren merch landonorris I take back my earlier statement, I was misguided please forgive me oscarpiastri the things that love does to people🤦

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mclaren come visit us in the paddock sometime soon!

yourusername I thought you'd never ask!! username oh?

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oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, mclaren, landonorris, and 392,487 others

oscarpiastri Thanks to all the fans who came out to support @mclaren today.

yourusername Your nails are gorgg, who did them?? I need the number immediately🤭

oscarpiastri that information is classified🥱 username not y/n tryna act like those aren't her nails...

username babe... who's nails are those??

username why is lando lowkey looking like a snack in that photo??😩

landonorris it's just impossible for me to look bad, truly a gift and a curse😪 whosalidyah don't boost his ego too much now, im scared it might implode...

username just noticed that the nails match the colors on his helmet

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yourusername just a girl waiting for her photo creds

oscarpiastri just a boy waiting for the ones he was robbed of😣

username Now you're my everything, now it's on me.

mclaren

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, f1, and 203,587 others

mclaren Our papaya boys + Y/n = another good day in the paddock

yourusername I had an amazing time, thank you so much for inviting me (10/10 experience, would recommend).

mclaren You're welcome to join us again anytime!

username ok but who was y/n looking at because I don't think her smile could get any brighter??

username ik y/n was sick of them by the end of this😭

landnorris y/n run they're trying to recruit you

yourusername girl dw i'm already halfway down the road oscarpiastri 🤦 username lmao i love their dynamic

whosalidyah if only I didn't have exams

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username hope to see her at the paddock a lot more!

username oh to be y/n rn

username I could you tell where your head was at when I found you.

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Will You Be Mine?

1 year ago

Y/n was very excited for her date with the one and only Oscar Piastri, not like she hadn't gone on many with him before but he had said he had something very special planned which "fit her persona well", his words not hers. She was very suspicious seeing as basically all their dates filled her with joy and excitement, high standards to exceed, if she did say so herself.

She had gotten her nails painted prior to the date and had made sure her hair looked nice. She had also put on a pretty dress but not before playing dress up and have a whole fashion show in her room with A'lidyah. Her whole hype crew in one person, she was so blessed. While doing touch ups she heard the doorbell ring and practically flew downstairs to go and open the door.

Oscar stared down at her, his face leading her to think he was in a trance or something of the sort. Y/n loved the effect she had on him. She did a little twirl to show him the full fit knowing it would fluster him even more.

"Am I pretty enough for the occasion, Mr. Piastri?" Y/n said chuckling softly before leaving a mannequin like Oscar standing at the door in awe as she went to go grab her purse and let A'lidyah know it was time for her to go. She came back down and Oscar swore she looked like an angel descending from the heavens.

"Well, I'm waiting on an answer?"

"You are absolutely stunning, beyond pretty enough for the occasion, although those are definitely everyday qualities of yours."

"What a sweetheart!" Y/n said, once again teasing the man and taking pleasure in the blush that spread across his face, as she closed the door to the apartment and took Oscar's outstretched hand. As they made it to the car he opened the door for her and allowed her to enter before going around the car and getting in himself.

"Ouhh my favorite song is playing, did you orchestrate this or is the universe just working overtime?" The girl spoke softly in a joking manner.

"A magician can't reveal all his tricks." Oscar said jokingly before smiling softly at the girl in the passenger seat and taking in the joy that radiated from her being. They drove with soft music in the background and just the amazing scenery to guide them through the city. Once they got to the destination, which seemed like a garden of some sort, Oscar practically ran over to her side of the car. Once he had opened the door for her he covered her eyes with his hands.

"Oscar, your coordination better be on point because if I trip your days will be numbered." she said seriously with a hint of humor in her voice.

"Wouldn't be the first time you've fallen for me, now would it love?" Oscar teased as he walked her over to the romantic picnic spot he had set up for her.

"Girl, you know what... just don't be surprised when I jump you." Y/n said playfully. They then came to a stop and and Oscar uncovered her eyes allowing her to see the scene that he had put together. When Y/n saw the sign that said "Will You Be Mine?" her heart felt as though it would jump out of her chest. When she turned to face Oscar he got down on one knee and began to speak before she could say anything.

"From the moment I met you I knew that we would be inevitable. You're intricate but gorgeous hairstyles, your dough like eyes, and your beautiful aura had put me in an immediate trance and I remember thinking 'woah'. My friends once told me that when I looked at you it seemed as though stars had been placed in my eyes purposely as if to gaze upon you meant my pupils had seen an unknown galaxy deeply treasured by the cosmos. So, will you allow me a place in your heart in which I beg to stay for an eternity."

Y/n immediately broke down crying before saying yes a million times and jumping into Oscar's warm embrace.

"I will do my best to treasure your heart." Y/n said before pulling Oscar in for a kiss.

That night the stars danced above them as though rejoicing.

♫ Know life been lifin' lately, so I save you if you save me ♫

୨୧–------------------------------------------୨୧

Current Time

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, whosalidyah, and 479,502 others

yourusername I was over love, thought I had enough, then I found you @oscarpiastri

This posts comments have been limited to users mentioned

oscarpiastri I was no doubt, stressed out without you.

yourusername the only man ever🤭

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 923,547 others

oscarpiastri All we got is us, when nobody does, I got you @yourusername

This posts comments have been limited to users mentioned

yourusername For your sanity and my mentality.

oscarpiastri mine, in every universe

yourusername omg I'm literally your biggest fan!!

oscarpiastri well I would hope so🤨

୨୧–------------------------------------------୨୧

♫ Man, I thought I had everything, I was lonely... Now you're my everything, now it's on me... ♫

୨୧–------------------------------------------୨୧

[adventuringblind]

Unfair Of You to Leave Me Behind

Oscar Piastri x Reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: Oscar's world comes crashing down on him in Vegas.

Warnings: Graphic injury descriptions, lashing out in anger, car crash, Lando's 2023 Vegas crash, grief, panic attacks, blood, pregnancy mentions, miscarriage, death

Notes: I'm back to make you cry again. Me and the requester who shall not be named were cackling while coming up with this idea.

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

She kisses Oscar when they first wake up. The only way he ever wants to wake up is with her in his arms. Despite the fact that it's the afternoon Vegas sun shining through the window, he could care less.

She's racing today in place of Carlos, and he couldn't be prouder of her. He's devastated that Carlos got injured from that stupid grate, but his girl is driving a Ferrari. He's pretty sure the Spainard will understand.

Oscar laughs softly to himself, recalling the memory or how their 'rivalry' started.

~~~~~

"Carlos! Wait up!"

The Spainard slows his pace and waits for Oscar to catch up. "Hey man, it's not your fault, I didn't give you anywhere to go."

"I'm sorry too, didn't mean to be so... I don't know..."

"Seriously, mate, we all make mistakes on track." Carlos claps him on the back and gives him a reassuring smile. "Was that all? I, unfortunately, have to go he eaten by the media sharks."

Oscar laughs at the comparison. "Actually, I had an idea."

"Oh? Do tell?"

"I thought it might be fun to cause some chaos."

The two males find themselves huddled over Carlos' phone, crafting a petty tweet that will definitely get people's attention.

Thus was the start of their 'rivalry'.

She'd laughed so hard with Lando when they found out. The utter ridiculousness of Oscar being any kind of petty had them in tears.

"Oscar, if you weren't dating my sister for so long, I might believe you."

"Might?! I'm petty when I want to be!" He huffs and crosses his arms.

"Petty? My love, you are the king of unbothered. This thing with Carlos is cute, though!" He pouts in disappointment but quickly forgets about it when her lips meet his. "I wouldn't have you any other way."

~~~~~

Oscar spends his morning (afternoon) complaining about the diet Kim has him on. It's completely unfair. They both sneak a cookie anyway. Giggling as they get away with their crime.

He walks her to the Ferrari garage and drops her off with Charles. He doesn't want to let go; the goodbye kiss is longer than neccecary, and Charles makes a fake gagging sound.

"Shut up, Charlie. Like you don't make out with Max." She waves off Charles indecent noises.

"I'd rather not watch baby Norris get it on. Not when I have to face Lando sooner or later."

Oscar shrugs. "What a way to celebrate his birthday, no?"

"We'd be having a funeral for him if that ever happens." Charles watches them with fondness, leaving each other's embrace for the last time.

Lando teases up until they are forced to separate and head to the grid. A plethora of jokes about Oscar with his sister in Vegas are had. To the point where Oscar manages approximately one indecent joke and Lando shuts up.

"That's my sister, mate."

"And she's my wife, your point?"

~~~~~

Oscar stands nervously at the edge of the water. Daniel and Max keep reassuring him it'll be fine. However, he wouldn't put it past those two to push each other into the water while officiating.

Logan stands beside him. He smiles happily and nods to where she is walking down the beach.

Oscar may be unfazed by most things, but he is only so strong. She looks ethereal walking down the Australian beach in white, flowers decorating her hair.

Lando is the one walking her down the aisle on her request. Both her sisters trail behind her.

It's just their immediate family and a few close friends. It's intimate and small, just the way they wanted it.

Daniel does end up pushing Max into the water. Oscar is to wrapped up in his new bride to notice, let alone care.

His entire world came together that day. Oscar could lose everything but still have her and live the rest of his life a perfectly content man.

~~~~~

The faster her drives, the sooner he can get of this car and go check on Lando. The crash looked awful; like the car just slipped out from underneath him. It's making him more nervous than he would like.

His lover can't be fairing much better, that's her brother. The last thing she needs right now is to be distracted. Which he most definitely is not.

Oscar drives because he can't wait to see her after, to tell her how proud he is. Maybe he'll worship her tonight if she'll let him. If she isn't too exhausted-

The world moves in slow motion. She was ahead of him after his last pit stop. She was running in sixth, he's seventh but they both are lapping cars at this point.

The red Ferrari and the blue of the Williams collide. Oscar is barely able to dodge the debrief flying everywhere.

For a brief second, her car is over his. He wants to reach out to her; grab her and tell her it'll be okay.

Then she's gone.

Oscar hears his engineer talking to him, but he only has one thing on his mind. He stops the car, pulls of the belts off and bolts in her direction. Except it's worse than he imagined. The sight we he turns around is brutal.

The Ferrari is in pieces. The entire front is wrapped around the pieces of wire barrier it took out. The fence is decimated and the car itself is smoking.

Oscar puts himself to work. He can see her, clearly unresponsive. The marshals are talking to him. It's fuzzy, but he knows they are helping.

He tries to pull her out and has to choke back his tears while doing so. Metal rebar from the car sticks into her through her abdomen. Her head lolls to the side like it's been snapped.

Oscar pulls her helmet off instead. He makes eye contact, and shatter. She's trying to talk to him, but it's incomprehensible.

His body is half in the cockpit with her as they cut the car away. He's not being useful now, but they have to understand. This is his entire world bleeding out for everyone to see.

He cups her face tentatively, as gently as he can manage. "Please love, stay with me - please - you did so well, come on love - open your pretty eyes for me." He chokes on broken sobs. He rips his gloves off, longing for the feel of skin of skin. Forehead pressed against hers, he will her to stay awake.

The marshals try to pull her away, but he knows as soon as they do, she's going to start bleeding worse. He screams at them defensively, not sure why, he just needs everyone to leave them alone.

Logan is the one to pull him off with the help of a few others. Oscar whips around out of Logan's grip. "This is your fault!" He regrets the words when they leave his mouth. Logan looks sick, pale and clammy.

~~~~~

Logan sits next to Oscar after filming another video for Prema. He's never been the biggest fan of media, but Logan makes it more fun.

"You gonna ask her out today? Like I suggested a month ago?" Logan wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

Oscar shrugs. He'd been working up the nerve to ask her, but knowing who she's related to scares him a tad. She's out of his league by miles. "Not sure yet."

"Well, she's coming over here right now."

Oscar looks her way and has to fight the urge to cringe when they make eye contact. She is beaming at him. "Hello Oscar and Logan!"

"Hey! You got any plans for tonight?" Oscar reels when Logan sounds like he's going to ask instead. He'll say something like 'You snooze you lose, Piastri' after this encounter is over.

"Not that I know of."

"Great, Oscar doesn't either, He'll meet you tonight at six!"

"Will he be the one talking?"

Logan looks at Oscar and sighs when there is no response. "Hopefully."

"Okay then, I'll see you tonight, Oscar."

He does spin himself after she leaves and shoves Logan's shoulder. He mumbles some kind of thanks before crossing his arms and pouting like a child.

"Bet you she's the one."

And at the time, Oscar had laughed like it was a joke.

~~~~~

He only stops his seething at the distressed American when somebody pulls him away. He wants to push them off and run. He'll sprint to the hospital if he has too-

"Oscar, we're gonna get you there, okay?" Max and Daniel are escorting him off the track. They make no mention of the fact Oscar is converd in her blood.

Andrea tells him he can leave. Kim throws extra clothes at him and his phone. He can't look at it right now. The thought of dealing with any kind of media has him gagging as Max peels out of the parking lot.

He blocks out the drive. He tunes out the voices of Max and Daniel, trying to calm him. He'll be calm when he gets to her. Not a second before.

Oscar fights his way to her room. Determined to see physical evidence that she's okay.

Only, she's not moving.

The door to her room is wide open. Lando is sat curled next to Jon with his own medical equipment attached. His teammate is sobbing into his trainers chest, clutching his sisters limp hand.

Oscar takes tedious steps in. She looks so peaceful, entirely undisturbed. His knuckles run across the cold flesh of her cheek.

A doctor comes in, but he doesn't pay any attention. Not until the confirmation finds its way to his ears.

"I'm sorry for your loss. Both of your losses."

Oscar turns his attention to the doctor. "What do you mean both?" He snaps.

The kind looking woman looks disheartened. It makes Oscar's chest crack further. "She was pregnant. I'm so sorry."

~~~~~

"Osc, seriously, I'm not too worried about it." She wraps her arms around him from behind.

Oscar spins her around so he can see her eyes and peck her lips. "You could be pregnant."

"Or - hear me out - I could be stressed." She cups his face and stares at him with adoration. "I want to have a baby with you - I just - I don't want to get my hopes up, you know?"

"Whatever happens, we're in it together. Baby or stress, we'll figure it out."

She pulls him back to bed despite it almost being the afternoon. "If it's a girl, we should name her after one of our mums."

"And a boy?"

"Jack, after his daddy, the greatest man I've ever met."

~~~~~

Oscar collapses.

He shatters.

He screams until his lungs give out.

He holds her one last time.

He whispers his praise.

Then he watches her leave, taking everything with her.

His world is gone.

The funeral comes around far too fast. The last name on the grave includes his, the hyphenated one. It was her idea to conjoin the two. He wanted to match.

Charles had been around to tell him what actually happened. Both him and Carlos are devestated. The Spainard believes it should've been him.

The sketchy patch jobs over the grates had been quick. Carlos had been the first victim. Oscar's wife had been the second.

The grate hit the underside of the car and knocked it off the racing line. Right after she passed Logan. The American just happened to be close enough that it looked like they collided. He'd just been an innocent bystander in a brutal accident.

The FIA and Ferrari are pinning it on her. The statements made, despite the footage and data, are claiming it a driver error. It makes Oscar sick.

Oscar refuses to go anywhere near a track until the FIA own up to their actions. So does Lando, Max, Charles, Daniel, and Carlos.

They get everyone to take a stand. Soon enough, there are no drivers to put on a show.

The FIA has nothing. They took everything away from Oscar, so he did it right back.

~~~~~

A year goes by too quickly. He feels like it was yesterday that she was kissing him goodluck. Now she's a Ferrari reserve, getting ready to test the car.

He's fretting over her like a mother hen, but he can't help it! He might actually cry prideful tears over how proud he is of her.

He always kisses her in case it's the last time.

~~~~~

Oscar kneels over her grave. Logan sits beside him, arranging flowers in the shape of a heart.

The Aussie had cried his apologies to his best friend as soon as he found out what happened.

He's been winning races left and right for a few years now. Lando and him have dominated. He's not got a title yet, but Lando does. Her brother has dedicated it to her. They are both winning for her. He wishes she was here to see it.

"You were right Lo, she was the one."

[songmingisthighs]

[12:24] dad!hongjoong × baby!minjae (ft. mom!reader)

⇀ having a big family, natural or chosen, could be a blessing or a curse. or both. this time ? hongjoong would rather not choose and just work. his son however, has another idea in mind

⇁ another installment of the baby xikers series finally written after an impromptu discussion about the children and their uncle wooyoung with @starlitmark LMAO LOOKIE I FINALLY WROTE THIS

wc : 1.2 k

genre : fluff ? slice of life ?? baby!xikers, dad!ateez

It had been weeks since the big incident and Hongjoong feared his son had started to catch on the situation the parents put Wooyoung in. Or something along the line.

Two and a half weeks ago, Wooyoung took the children to the Seodaemun Museum of Natural History for an educational day. Or so he claimed because not two hours since Wooyoung sent a selfie of him and the kids at the museum entrance to the friend group chat did all of them receive a call to come collect their children (in which Wooyoung's wife was told to collect all three of hers; Junghoon, Hunter, and of course, Wooyoung). Apparently, Wooyoung had told them that they couldn't play with any of the displays which the children took as a challenge rather than a warning. Seeun, Yujun, Minjae, and Sumin tried to get on the Acrocanthosaurus display while Hyunwoo and Hunter took off their shoes and dipped their toes in the Han River section of the Nature Hall to play with the fishies and Junmin, Jinsik, Junghoon, and Yechan somehow got inside the forest ecosystem display. It would have been an easy issue to handle and even let slide had Wooyoung not stood by and taken a video of everything whilst cackling rather than trying to get everyone to stop. After that, the parents rounded together and agreed that Wooyoung was to be put under an indefinite playdate hosting and attendance ban.

Unfortunately, the children were not told of this development as some were still grounded by their parents and some were known to love their Uncle Wooyoung so they'd probably get upset. It took them a while to even notice that suddenly they were not being taken to their Uncle Wooyoung's for playdates nor did their Uncle Wooyoung show up to chaperone.

The first to be told was Jinsik because his dad, Yunho, had given up trying to cover up the issue (literally 20 minutes after Jinsik started asking) and by the time the children were being picked up from playdate at Uncle Jongho's, they were all informed and began protesting in their own ways.

It was safe to say that for the past three days Hongjoong was stuck with Minjae who turned into melted cheese as a form of protest.

"Kim Minjae," Hongjoong called out sternly towards his son who sprawled himself on top of his work bag on his bed. Hongjoong had taken a short shower when he got home only to be met with Minjae groaning and moaning like a stranded starfish on top of his work stuff. Despite being called, Minjae didn't answer and just continued moaning like an injured cat. "Kim Minjae," Hongjoong huffed again, "Please get off my work bag, you'll crush my laptop," he walked closer to his son and stood over him with his arms on his hips. For a moment, Minjae stopped his moaning and looked over to Hongjoong, "Will you take me to Uncle Wooyoung?" Hongjoong raised an eyebrow at his son trying to bargain with him, "I'll take you to the doctor to get a shot instead, how's that?" And with that, Minjae dropped his head back and resumed moaning and groaning.

Minjae kept doing so, even following his dad around who managed to get his things from under Minjae by throwing him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes (and Minjae slid right off his dad's shoulder... like a sack of potatoes). When Hongjoong was setting up his laptop in his home office, Minjae laid on the rug, when Hongjoong took a break to eat the dinner you cooked, Minjae laid across his lap and grumbled despite you trying to get him to sit up and behave when people are eating, then Minjae laid in front of the bathroom like a speed bump which almost caused Hongjoong to trip and fall.

With a sigh, Hongjoong crouched down and stared at his little boy, "Kim Minjae, if you don't cut this out right now I'm going to take you to my room," he threatened. But Minjae blinked and tilted his head, "Can we go to Uncle Wooyoung's room instead?" He asked, trying to bargain yet again. Hongjoong felt the corner of his left eye twitched and firmly stated, "No," then, Hongjoong stood up and tried walking away. Unfortunately, Minjae immediately latched onto his dad's leg and let his body be dagged away. Not even when you ran over screaming, trying to unlatch his grip on Hongjoong's leg did he relent. In fact, Minjae screeched and dug his nails into Hongjoong's leg, leaving the man soundlessly screaming and almost falling on his face. It was quite a sight to behold. Kim Minjae, your usually calm and reserved son, let out a banshee-like screech that managed to surprise the heck out of you, causing you to jump back and stare wide-eyed and as if nothing had happened, Minjae returned to his moaning and groaning while still being attached to his dad's legs.

To say that both you and Hongjoong gave up on trying to get Minjae to stop was an understatement because Hongjoong was now stuck in his home office with his son on the rug behind him moaning and groaning, causing him to lose focus which means that the situation was that bad because Kim Hongjoong doesn't lose focus on his goals. Apparently neither does Kim Minjae. Every 20 minutes or so, Minjae stopped his moaning and groaning to ask Hongjoong if he could go to Uncle Wooyoung's in all sorts of ways. As much as Hongjoong felt annoyed with the incessant behaviour, he had to admit that his favourite was when Minjae offered to prank Wooyoung on his dad's behalf as a form of revenge for the museum chaos.

The moment Hongjoong realized that the moans and groans had stopped was when Minjae finally fell asleep. It was well over 10 pm which means it was past the boy's bedtime. Knowing his relationship with sleep, Hongjoong was not at all surprised that his circadian clock had automatically shut him up. After saving his progress, Hongjoong stretched his body out slightly before getting out of his chair and crouching down next to Minjae who was creating a puddle on the rug ironically enough Wooyoung bought for Hongjoong. The way that they don't even live together anymore but Wooyoung still effectively has his grip on Hongjoong's life.

Gently, Hongjoong moved Minjae's bangs out of his face but as gentle as he was, Minjae still managed to stir and he suddenly opened his eyes. "Daddy going?" he groggily asked, lifting his head up slightly, "It's past your bedtime sir, what do you think?" Hongjoong sarcastically answered, scoffing slightly and shaking his head before scooping the barely conscious boy into his arms without much issue. "Are we going to Uncle Wooyoung's?" Minjae still managed to ask despite the fact that he was already closing his eyes again and resting his cheek on Hongjoong's shoulder. The question sent Hongjoong in disbelief but he simply shook his head, "Not tonight buddy." Thankfully, Minjae nodded and even nuzzled his face deeper, "I'll try again tomorrow," he mumbled in finality before falling back asleep.

As much as Hongjoong wanted to complain and even tell his son no, he knew there was no point. The issue was reserved for the next day. All he could hope for was that Minjae would forget or get distracted.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet @pirateeznet

taglist :

@kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @surveilenceysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @haatohwa @x-bluee @erinaimeexx @blackb3ll @mingiholic @angelicyeo @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @hongjoong-lovebot @stopeatread @spooo00oky @jwnghyuns @asjkdk @shinotani @aestheticsluut @luvt0kki

[frenziedfireworks]

Exposed

husband!Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Summary : You share a house in Feldcroft with Anne and Sebastian.. Thankfully Anne is gone for the week and that leaves you some time alone.

CW : SMUT, 18+, fem!reader, exhibitionism, degrading, praising, creampie, playing dumb, possessive sebastian (if u squint)

masterlist

Opportunities in Feldcroft fell into your lap very rarely. Sharing the small house with Anne led to many.. canceled plans. After all you didn’t want her hearing or walking in on you and her brother.

So when you woke up from a small nap and noticed she had left for the next few days you were excited. Not only that but you were even more thrilled seeing the latch of the window open. Your husband worked diligently in the backyard hacking away at the weeds. You had more than a plan.

You had yawned loudly and stretched your back next to the window. You didn’t dare look outside, hoping your husband had noticed the noise and was looking. Acting oblivious, you slowly slid your top off. You pulled against the tight straps that confined your breasts as well, slowly unlacing the material and dropping it to the ground. Your hands circled your breasts and did a little tug before stretching again. You backed further away from the window so he could see a full view of your backside as you used a finger to trail your panties down your legs. You tutted your ass out a bit and shook before standing up.

As if on cue, the backdoor slammed open and your sweaty husband came in. His eyes were filled with lust as he stared at your nude form.

“You put on quite a show honey. I could practically see you drooling from the backyard.” Sebastian grunted as he worked the gardening gloves off his wrists and pulled you into him. “Is someone in need of some help?” He teased as his lips fluttered across the side of your neck. Something about how tall he was had always got to you. His dark gaze made you feel as if you were prey underneath him.

“I-I don’t know what you mean.” You stuttered as his lips bit down on your pulse point. His cackles filled the room as he licked away at the new bruise. “You’re as wet as a common whore and you don’t know what I mean?” Your body jolted as one of his rough digits slipped through your folds. Your hand gripped his forearm as you glanced back at him. He simply raised an eyebrow awaiting a response.

“Yes.. Yes. I need help.” You whispered out in defeat and his grin only grew.

“Of course you do. I’m the only one who can fill you just right. Molded you perfectly for my cock.” His hand landed a light slap to your cunt which made you squeal in surprise. Your body slammed against him, one of Sebastian’s hands gripping tightly at your neck.

“Guess I have to punish my pathetic wife since she thinks she can show off her pussy to anyone walking past. What if one of the neighbors walked by the backyard?” Sebastian’s voice was domineering and his touch was hot. You could only muffle a moan through your restricted air flow.

“Good girl. Keep whining. You know you’re a fucking brat. I bet you would’ve liked them watching. Just for that reason I’m leaving the window open while I fucking ruin you.” 

Sebastian pushed your form against the window frame, showing you off to anyone who would pass by the back of the garden. You squirmed as he pushed his cock through your wet folds. Painfully slow he pushed himself into your cunt, stretching you out. You moaned at the feeling and felt his forehead drop against your shoulder.

“You feel so good darling. Always made to take me.” 

He began his rough thrusts, using his hold on your neck to pull you flush against him. It felt as if your mind was breaking. Living on the edge of being discovered, the idea of someone seeing you be fucked roughly.. it was too much. 

“Fuck. You like this don’t you? You’re already close from barely anything. Didn’t know my wife had such a slutty pussy.” Sebastian moaned into your ear, picking up the pace. His hips were stuttering, leading you to believe he was just as turned on by it as you were. As you both got closer you heard the noise of the neighbors door opening. Both of you looked at eachother, wide-eyed. Sebastian covered your mouth with his large hand.

“Not a fucking peep princess. Need to finish.” 

He continued to pummel into you, keeping his groans to a minimum as you tried your hardest to be quiet. As their voices got closer you felt yourself grow nervous and clench even harder against Sebastian.

“F-fuck. Don’t do that.” His fingers dug into your hips as you both stilled, waiting for the voice to walk away. Thankfully, the neighbors had got what they wanted soon enough and made their way back inside. Not without torturing the both of you from your orgasm. 

The moment the neighbors door shut Sebastian pounded into you like a feral beast. Your body was nothing but a ragdoll being tossed around. His animalistic pace worked both of you back up to your orgasm quickly, the string in your stomach about to snap. 

“Fuck.. Cum on my cock. Show me how much you love being a whore.” Sebastian cooed breathlessly against your ear, his hips pushing home for the last time as he spilt inside. Your walls clenched and your moans, while even muffled, filled the air. 

Your shaky hands moved to close the window as he pulled out, the realization of what you’d just done crossing your mind.

“You don’t think the neighbors heard us, right?”

“Right.. Of course not.” Sebastian chuckled with a wicked smirk. “Even if they did at least they know who you belong to..”

“Sebastian!”

[mykoreanlove]

Heey can I ask for a very domestic scenerio for Taemin? Like his wife is at home with their baby (who is a boy and looks exaclty like Taemin) and then he comes home after a show, event, concert whatever and just chill together...Thank you!!

I am sorry it took me so long - here it is, hope u like it :) thank you for reading my work, really appreciate it <3

You took a concerned glance at the clock hanging on the pastel-colored wall – 11 pm.

“He should be home soon”, you muttered to yourself as you held your sweet baby boy in your arms. Life changed drastically ever since you became a mother, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

You thought you’d love Taemin with all of your heart, but your little boy taught you a whole new level of love.

“Don’t you wanna go to sleep, Jongi?”

Big brown eyes looked back at you, cackling joyfully. Your baby was not only a direct replica of Taemin in regard to looks, but also personality. The little boy was cheerful most of the times, smiling widely and brightening the day of everybody around. People couldn’t get enough of this little fella, always visiting and gifting him stuff.

“You know he looks exactly like his dad?”, your mother teased. “Is there anything of you in him?”

“Well, I hope so”, you replied as you swayed him from side to side.

12 pm.

Cries filled your apartment as the little one was getting impatient.

“What’s wrong, sweetie? Do you miss your daddy? He should be home any minute, Jongi.”

Sadly, that promise wasn’t enough to stop the energetic cries, so you started swaying him while walking through the big apartment. Jongi was used to falling asleep to Taemin’s voice – he always sang him to sleep. “Daddy’s gotta sing for his fans tonight, sweetie. They also need him, you know?”

More cries.

Even louder ones as if he had understood what you were saying. An idea flashed through your mind.

Quickly, you played a video of Taemin giving an acapella performance on the TV. Jongi squeaked in excitement as he recognized his dad on the screen. You placed a kiss on his head and smiled: “same, honey, same.”

Slowly, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep as his dad was filling the room with the loveliest serenades. It didn’t take you long to join him in slumber, after all motherhood was one hell of a beast.

You felt plush lips on your forehead as you slowly woke up, trying to make sense of your surroundings. “Y/N, sweetheart. I’m back.”

A big smile formed on your lips. You never doubted he would come back to you but every time he did felt magical. “Did my little boy behave?”

Taemin sat next to you and took Jongi from your arms, cuddling with him on the couch. “Your little boy was getting cranky because he couldn’t fall asleep. He needed his daddy’s concert badly.”

“Is that why you’re replaying old videos of me?”, he motioned to the TV.

“Yeah”, you nodded tired. Taemin kissed his son and whispered silently: “I am so sorry it took me so long, Jongi. I hope you didn’t give your beautiful momma a hard time, though. Because that’s my job.” He laughed diabolically.

“Hey”, you pouted.

“Come here, baby”, he invited you to lay next to him.

You crawled over to the two most important men in your life and laid your head on Taemin’s arm, sighing contentedly.

“Hey”, he whispered. You tilted your head to look up at him – you could tell that he was exhausted, yet deeply grateful. Taemin kissed you tenderly, enjoying every second with you and his son. He rubbed his nose with yours while holding your hand. “Did you enjoy the concert?”

Taemin nodded. “Yeah, I did. But I couldn’t wait to get home as soon as it was over. I missed you so much. I missed Jongi. You guys are my whole life.”

Moments like these were common for you, Taemin was very vocal about his love and appreciation. “Baby”, you whispered. He looked at you with deep compassion. “I mean it. I really, really mean it, y/n. You are everything to me.”

Moments like these made you think about creating a sibling for Jongi right this second. “I love you”, you whispered. Taemin closed his eyes with a big smile and started singing soundly – your family ritual to drift off to sleep.

[wittlesissyb4by]

The bABy Shower

“Did you remember to get the diapers?” she asked.

“I did.” I said, “I didn’t realize how damn expensive they are!”

“Well that’s the cost of having a bABy!” she laughed. “And you better keep that in mind if you don’t want to be buying some for us one day!”

I gulped at the horror of the thought.

“Why do I have to go to this thing anyway? I thought…’Showers’...were more of a girl thing?”

She scoffed. “Maybe back in the 2020’s...but nowadays things are a little different. Plus...I want you to get a good idea of what you might be in for one day...”

Again, I shifted uncomfortably as I glanced down at the invitation again:

The sound of my newlywed wife, Sandra, flicking on the blinker to exit the freeway snapped me out of my daze.

When we pulled up to the house, there was one of those over-sized yard signs that read “Welcome Baby McEntyre!” in alternating pink and blue colors, with balloons attached to match.

“Come on!” Sandra said, tapping the unisexly wrapped box in my lap as she climbed out of the car. I must have been daydreaming again.

“Ohhh Hiiii!” said a woman coming down the walkway to greet us, mimosa splashing as her heels clanked down the cobblestones. “I’m Agnes!” she said cheerily, hinting that it wasn’t her first mimosa of the day.

“Hi! I’m Sandra, and this is my husband Tom” she said, introducing us. “Sorry we’re a bit late, it’s hard getting him out the door sometimes!” 

“Oh I understand, BELIEVE me! I swear I feel like I'm having to crack the whip too often with my own husband sometimes!” Agnes said, and they both laughed exaggeratedly as if it were a joke I didn’t seem to get. “Well come on in! Everyone is outside in the back!”

Inside the 3-story home were the sounds and smells I’d come to expect of a women’s gathering. Laughter, flowery/powdery smells, and finger foods that probably were keto, paleo, or something-or-another-o. Talking about whatever it is women talk about.

“I’m telling you: when my little one is stopped up, I put a little prune juice into his bottle, and he’ll be pooping three or four times that day!” one said.

“Yea but I dunno if I wanna be changing three or four dirty diapers a day!!” said another, and they all laughed.

Another woman came down the stairs as we crossed the living room.

“Finally got him down for a nap!” she announced to the room with a sigh, “I swear he gets so fussy every time we go out in public like this!” And all the women nodded in agreement.

One lady pulled a bottle out of the microwave, the milk inside seemed to be a bit clearer and mistier than breast or formula. “Where do you get all that from?” Someone asked. The lady laughed as she checked the temperature of the pearly liquid on her arm. “Well...let’s just say my new husband is quite the producer! He keeps my little man quite full! In more ways than one!”

They all cackled hysterically. It was all so much for me to handle. Or, at least, I thought it was. But that was until we stepped outside…

******

Outside, everything was dialed up to 11. It immediately felt like we were at a kid’s birthday party. With a bunch of women all busy and bustling around with their 2-year-olds.

Except, instead of 2-year-olds, it was a bunch of grown men dressed like 2-year olds.

“Oh hi Sandra! How are you?” A woman called over her shoulder. She was busy shoveling green mush onto a baby spoon and shoving it into the mouth of the grown man sitting in front of her. He had a blue and teal onesie, a bonnett on his head, mittens on his hands, and the grumpiest of looks on his green-stained face.

“I’m doing well, Patricia!” my wife replied in her cheery voice as if nothing were amiss, “and you must be Randy!” She cooed at the man twice her size. He glared at her but said nothing, just opened his mouth so Patricia could fill it with more peas. The spoon skimmed the side of his mouth, as if purposely done to make a mess around Randy’s beard. Patricia used the giant bib around his neck that read “Stand By...Diaper Loading” to wipe it up. But it just seemed to smear and make more of a mess. Patricia didn’t seem to care and just carried on talking “you know i got him this beautiful little...” but their chatter seemed to fade as I tried to take in my surroundings.

A man crawled by me on his hands and knees in nothing but a t-shirt and a very large diaper that probably used to be white but was now a shade of yellow with a large blue stripe down the middle. There was also a very large lump in the back that was making it sag significantly. He knelt in front of two women sitting at a picnic table and held his arms wide open. Like a toddler in need of something and unable to express it. He said something that made both the girls laugh. Until one of them squeezed the front of his diaper and patted his padded bottom “Awww! Not yet sweetie, but maybe later after Mommy has another glass of wine!” The man literally burst into tears right there. Sobbing like an actual baby. The woman seemed unphased, just reached into the bag next to her and pulled out a large pacifier. Except when she turned it around, instead of a nipple, there was at least a 5 inch rubber penis attached to it. She slid the penis pacifier into his blubbering mouth. Muffling his cries. Until of course he spit it out and started crying harder. Her face immediately went from laughing to that of a scorned mother. Without hesitation, she scooped up the dildo dummy off the ground and smacked him across the cheek with it. Pointing a stern finger directly in his face before jamming the cock down his throat with force. Holding the back of his head while he choked and squirmed until she could tie the attached ribbon around it tightly. Keeping it securely in place. His sobbing stopped. But there were still plenty of tears.

A hand on my back startled me. “Come along, Dear” Sandra whispered in my ear, taking me by the hand and leading me through the bizarre crowd.

It seemed there were “babies” everywhere. All of them were men, but not all of them dressed in the “manly” colors of blues and greens.

One man was sitting on a blanket wearing an oversized (yet somehow still undersized) pink tutu. The frilly skirt did nothing to hide his diaper underneath. A stranger stood over him, cooing at him and pinching his cheeks. “Awwww!! I wuv your wittle piggy-tails!!” She teased while he sucked his thumb and tried to ignore her. His face turned as pink as his outfit while his mascara ran from tears forming in his eyes.

Not all the bABies seemed to be ashamed though. As Sandra and I walked past the playpen we heard a lot of crinkling coming from inside. Two of the men—one dressed like Tinkerbell and the other like a tiny Sailor—had their hands in each others diapers. Moaning and groaning furiously as they rubbed each other with their mittened hands. Another bABy in a pink princess outfit sat next to them, unfazed. (S)he was rocking back and forth cross-legged, smacking blocks up and down repeatedly. Her mouth was open and drool was hanging out. She seemed to be in some kind of haze. Whatever was playing through the headphones strapped to her head seemed to be having a profound effect on her.

A woman with an incredible ass sauntered by the pen, and a fourth bABy that was pretending to play with dolls immediately tossed them aside, turned on his tummy, and started humping the ground furiously in his diaper while staring at her.

“Gus Gus!” another woman called, storming over “Stop that right now!!” She yelled. Smacking the humping bABy on the back of the head and jerking him up by the wrist, yanking him out and over to her seat with the crowd of women she had been sitting with. “We do NOT go goo goo in our diapy!” She scolded in front of everyone. Pulling him over her lap and spanking his thighs while he cried like a baby.

“See, that’s why I keep mine locked up...” said the woman sitting next to her. “Watch this!” She said, turning her gaze elsewhere, raising her hand, and snapping her fingers twice.

A man in normal clothes conversing in another group immediately turned his attention to her. She crooked a finger and beckoned him over. His face instantly turned from casual to concern as his shoulders dropped and he sauntered over to her and the group of women.

He stood there awkwardly as she snapped again. This time pointing down. “Drop ‘em!” She barked. And his quivering hands immediately fumbled with his belt and zipper, and his pants were at his ankles. A large fluffy diaper underneath.

She placed a finger into the front of his diaper and pulled it forward. Peeking inside. “Go on girls! Have a looksy!” She announced, and all the girls immediately took her up on the offer and leaned in to peer into the front of his diaper. They all collectively gasped.

“Wowww!!”

“It’s so intricate!”

“And so tiny!!!”

“I love the little padlock!!”

“Are those spikes?!”

“It’s adorable!!”

The man stared at the sky, visibly sweating and shifting back and forth.

“Oh that’s not even the best part!” His wife announced. And with that, she started pulling one side of her dress off of her shoulder.

The man immediately started shaking his head. “No, Mommy! Please!!” He begged. His voice suddenly high and squeaky. 

The woman pulled aside her bra with ease, exposing her voluptuous bosom for all to see.

The man was trembling. As if  the bare boob were some kind of monster. His knees pressed together as he gripped the front of his diaper. 

She patted her leg softly. “Come here, little one.” She said to her 6’3’’ husband. He sniffled as he delicately laid across her lap, into her arms that cradled his head. His snivelling intensified as he came face to face with her gorgeous breast. She gently cupped her tit and placed the nipple to his mouth, ‘shhhing’ and coddling him as if he were an actual baby in need of nourishment.

His eyes squinted as he began sucking the nipple, his hips convulsing a bit as he did so. Clenching his legs tightly and whimpering as if in some sort of pain. I had no idea what was going on, but all the mothers around him apparently did, and thought it was hilarious.

“Awwww! I think somewon’s getting exciiited!!”

“Poor wittle thing!”

“Serves him right. He should learn to control himself!”

They all nodded in agreement as the woman rocked the nursing bABy back and forth.

There was the slight clinking of a bell behind me. I turned to see where it was coming from, but didn’t see anything in the distance. I adjusted my view downward and saw a woman leading a dog by a leash. But when she stopped moving and the dog came out from behind her, it wasn’t a dog at all. It was a sissy in a pink puppy outfit. Her hair was in long, curly pigtails and written across her face in lipstick were the letters W-H-O-R-E. Her lips taking the place of the “O” in the word.

“Would you like a blowjob?” the woman holding the leash asked, as if she were a vendor selling something as simple as hotdogs, “only $5 bucks!”

She jerked the leash a bit so that the bell around the pet’s collar jingled. Immediately the puppy rose to a “begging” position with her paws outfront and her tongue hanging out the “O” of her mouth.

“So…” the woman continued, “shall the two of you find a bathroom or a shed somewhere to...do your business?”

My mouth must have been making an “O” as well from my dropped jaw. I didn’t know what to say. Glancing back and forth. I looked to my wife for help. But she just shrugged and smirked as if to say “Hey that’s up to you...if that’s what you want…”

“Uhh..hmm..ahem” I stammered. Trying to find my voice for the first time since arriving at this whirlwind of a party. “N-no...no thank you.” I said.

The woman with the leash shrugged, “Your loss. She’s getting pretty good...gonna have to start charging more soon!” and with that she yanked the leash and the two jingled away. 

“There he is!!” 

“It’s him!”

“The new bABy!!”

There was a raucous from everyone in the crowd as they all turned back to the house. A lady in a black dress with scarlet red hair was standing arms crossed as what  looked to be a large, wooden high-chair was wheeled out by two large black men. It was decorated in alternating blue and pink ribbons and streamers. When they turned it around, I got a full view of the occupant in the chair. It was my best friend, Michael.

His wrists were cuffed to each end of the table top, his ankles cuffed to the bottom.. His hands were encased in mittens: one pink, one blue. He didn’t have on any pants, white briefs (Which I mistook for a diaper, at first. Can you blame me??) and a white T-shirt with a giant question mark across the front.

“Thank you all so much for coming!” the woman with scarlet hair, Moira, announced as the crowd hushed. She had a distinct air of confidence about her that drew everyone’s attention. She cleared her throat and spoke elegantly. “Michael and I first met several years ago back in 2031. It was love at first sight, and I eventually knew I wanted to have a baby with Michael. But when the Population Reformation Act passed a few years later, I found myself reevaluating my decision. Though we, as women, are no longer allowed to choose when we can have a baby, there is no denying we will always have those maternal instincts so heavily ingrained within us.”

All the women around me proceeded to nod their heads in agreement. Muttering ‘amen’ in unison. 

“That’s why, when the Hubbies in Huggies Act was passed, I knew there was no denying this was always the plan for wittle Mikey all along!”

Michael seemed to sink in his chair as the women all clapped and hooted in accord. It seemed like just yesterday he and I were golfing together when he muttered that he had something to tell me. 

“So, please, come say your final goodbyes to the ‘man’ I married. Grab some punch. Grab some snacks. And let’s all reveal the Gender of wittle Mikey in 30 minutes time!”

They all clapped once more and were about to scatter when Agnes drunkenly called for attention. “And for our bABy shower game today to celebrate wittle Mikey, if everyone will please grab a diaper and write a cute or humiliating little note across the front so that Michael and Moira can remember you every single time he gets a change!” she turned to look at me “Tom, I assume those are the diapers?”

Suddenly all eyes were on me. I had been so enamored by all the chaos going on around me throughout this nightmare of a party that I’d forgotten I'd been holding the box of diapers the whole time.

I gulped, and nodded. Stealing a glance at Michael, who was glaring at me as if I somehow betrayed him. I placed the box down and barely got it open before all the women hounded in to grab a diaper and a sharpie. Others went to coo at Michael. Pinching his cheeks and telling him how excited he should be. But still he kept his gaze on me. I could do nothing but avoid it and walk away.

*****

“So what should we write?” Sandra asked, pressing the sharpie to the front of the very large diaper that had B-A-B-Y printed across it on little baby blocks already. 

“I dunno.” I grunted, wishing to get this all over with. “How about: ‘I’m sorry, Man’”

Sandra shook her head, “Not cute or clever enough. Plus we don’t know if he’ll even be referred to as a ‘man’ any more after this...Oooh! I know”

And she scribbled across it. Holding it up to show me.

“Wittle Clitty inside!” she giggled.

“How does that work? He doesn’t have a clit, and you don’t even know if he’s gonna be a ‘gurl’ either!” I argued.

“Oh trust me. Moira told me how small his thingy is. It might as well be called a ‘clitty’ no matter how the rest of this shakes out! Now go put it on the pile! The reveal is going to be any minute!”

I begrudgingly took the giant diaper over to the table with all the others. Examining what was written across them.

First of many!!

Poop! There it is.

All ‘Ga ga’ and no ‘Goo Goo’ from now on!

Caution: Tiny Objects inside! (Don’t worry, definitely NOT a choking hazard!)

Only THOUSANDS more to go!!

Open at your own risk!!

Roses are red, violets are blue, will this one have pee, or will it have poo?

It was all so ridiculous and humiliating. And I wasn’t even the one the diapers were intended for. What was the world coming to that all of this had become so normalized?

There were gasps from the crowd. 

“It’s time!”

“It’s TIME!”

The women gathered round. Their bABies gathered with them. Though, in their own unique way. 

Moira came out carrying a cake with white icing that had large sparklers and candles crackling on the top. The women all cheered and sang a song to the tune of Happy Birthday, but all the words were something different. I felt like I was in the middle of some strange occult ritual. They all cheered as the song ended.

“Blow them out, Mikey!” they called.

“Make a wish!” someone else said, “Though I doubt it’ll come true!”

Michael sat there frowning as they sang. Grumbling as they beckoned him to blow out the candles and wish like an infant on their first birthday. But he must have known it was no use protesting with all these people around, including the two giant black men.

He gasped and blew with all his might. Extinguishing the candles. Everyone cheered. Everyone but me.

“And now!” Moira called opening up a large knife, ceremonial style “The time has come to find out if we’re going to have a little boi, or a little gurl! A little Mikey, or baby Michelle!”

The crowd clamored. Placing their last minute bets. 

“I think it’s a boi!”

“It’s gonna be a gurl!”

“I know The Drawing is supposed to be 50/50 but I swear it leans more towards bois.” one said, “Like Congress doesn’t want to shock too many of them by making them gurls”

Moira placed the knife on the cake and made one long cut down its center, then another at a slightly wider angle. She made one last look at the crowd as they collectively held their breath and then gave a wicked evil grin at Michael. Pulling the slice of cake up with the knife, and revealing.......

--------------------

Uh oh! Do we have a wittle Mikey on our hands? Or an adorable Michelle? Guess you'll have to find out by going to Substar, Gumroad or my new Reams site! I'm currently in the process of uploading everything to the latter, so if you prefer Reams as a site you may want to wait a bit for me to get all of my stories uploaded. Thanks for your patience, and for your support!

[badkitty3000]

Getting busy in a public space with people around? The idea of someone witnessing everything becomes a turn on for Five's wife, and he is definitely up for the challenge. After all, he can never deny her anything. And, let's face it; there might be something in it for him, too.

Words: 7,412

Here is a smutty one shot I wrote featuring my original character, an aged-up Five's love of his life, Vivian, from my Halo series. That AU spawned its own series of one shots that you can read here.

I love writing these two horny love-birds, so if you have any requests for a story featuring them, or Five and a reader-insert, let me know!

Warnings: Smut, Public sex, Dirty talk, Fingering, Blow jobs

The traffic was incessantly slow, with the cars creeping forward mere inches at a time every few minutes. There was nowhere to go; not even a shoulder to drive on if you wanted to be that kind of jerk. Which, after over an hour of sitting in roughly the same spot, breathing in exhaust fumes and listening to his wife’s horrific playlist of songs, Five would have gladly taken twenty traffic violation tickets just to get out of there. He gripped the steering wheel tighter, imagining it was the neck of whoever had caused this nightmare to begin with.

Viv risked a side glance, noticing the red flag that was the twitchy eye and bared teeth of her husband. Her eyes moved back in front of her, to the glove compartment where Five kept his Glock, and she subtly pressed her knee up against it. Just in case.

About thirty minutes into this fiasco, Five had put the car in park and blinked out and down the standing row of cars to try and get a look at what the hold up was, much to the shock of the other drivers. After he had stood on the side of the road, hands on his hips, assessing the situation in the most Five way possible, and then blinking back into the car, Viv had scrunched down in her seat and gave the confused, older lady in the car next to her an embarrassed smile.

Risking making things worse, and possibly her life, Viv quietly cleared her throat.

“Five. There’s nothing we can do. It sucks, but there’s no point in getting all assassin-level angry about it.”

When Five’s head whipped around in her direction, she flinched just slightly; his face looking dangerously crazy.

“Yes, I know there’s nothing we can do, Vivie.” He drew out his words slowly and measured, as if talking to a small child. “But I am tired and hungry and very, VERY over this music.” He stabbed his finger at the screen that had just lit up with the beginnings of “Sweet Caroline”, stopping poor Neil before he could get to the chorus.

The car was quiet again and Viv tried to choke down the laugh she felt forming inside of her. It never failed to amuse her when her murderous husband with a long history of blood and violence started acting like a toddler that was overdue for a nap and a snack. The more she sat there, watching him seethe out of the corner of her eye, the more she thought about it. And then she couldn’t keep it suppressed anymore. The laugh started as a muffled snort, and then her shoulders started to shake. When Five looked over at her, completely unamused, it all burst forward in a loud, obnoxious cackle that had her doubled over.

“Always glad to be your entertainment,” he snarled, looking away again.

“Oh, come on, Five…you don’t have to be so dramatic,” Viv argued, even as she still tried to swallow her laughter.

“How am I being dramatic?” Five asked loudly, throwing his hands in the air with all the drama of a telenovela actor. “You’re the one that wanted to go to this restaurant across town, even though I told you it would be a bitch to get to. And I was right, wasn’t I? You know, sometimes you can admit when I’m right. It wouldn’t kill you.”

Rather than answer, Viv reached across with one hand, squeezing his cheeks and squishing in his face. She beamed over at him as he gave her the death glare. Part of the fun of messing with him was knowing she was the only one that could ever get away with it. Anyone else would have been swiftly joining the unidentifiable roadkill that was lying next to their car.

“You’re so super cute when you’re all angry.”

Five swatted her hand away. “Thin ice, Vivie. You’re on real thin ice.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “What exactly are you going to do about it?”

“Off the top of my head, I’m thinking of spatial jumping myself out of here and leaving you here.”

Viv scoffed. “You wouldn’t dare. Besides, how far would you even get?”

“Far enough to get away from this mess and to think happily back on the image of you still sitting here, crying tears of regret over your treatment of me.”

Viv pressed her lips together to keep from laughing again. Even though Five’s body language and words gave the impression of some serious underlying wrath, the tiniest formation of a dimple on his cheek gave him away. He may have actually been pissed at the situation, but he’d never leave her like that.

“Fine. You were right…I was wrong. This was a bad idea. There, you good now?” she condescendingly patted his thigh.

As she turned back towards the passenger window, in the process of taking her hand back, she felt him grab hold of it, keeping her pressed into his leg. She turned back to face him with a questioning look. All she received in return was a very evil smile of which she knew the exact meaning behind. Uh-oh.

“Oh, no…no way, buddy. I am not giving you a hand job in the middle of a traffic jam. Absolutely not.”

Even Viv knew her argument lacked much conviction; the sternness in her voice was definitely not very convincing. When Five didn’t respond, she kept going.

“Besides, it’s not like we’re very hidden here, we’re surrounded by all these other cars with people in them and it’s broad daylight out. Not to mention my very nosy window neighbor over here, I’m pretty sure her name is Gladys, keeps looking over at us. I think she likes you.”

None of that did anything to dissuade Five; it was as if she hadn’t said anything at all. He just grasped her hand tighter, that cock-sure smile of his never wavering.

“First of all, you need to make up for this disaster you put us in, which you have so kindly admitted was your doing. Second, I have a very different kind of job in mind for you, my love. And third, I know you; and I can guarantee you’re going to have your head in my lap in a matter of minutes.”

Five took Viv’s hand and pressed it roughly between his legs, making sure she knew he wasn’t fucking around. She could feel him growing and getting harder as he rubbed her palm over the top of his pants. He closed his eyes and let out a soft exhale.

“Jesus, Five. How can you be so pissed off one second and so horny the next? That’s not normal.”

He opened his eyes and grinned over at her. “Just one of my many talents. Now, are you going to get over here? Or are you going to keep pretending you’re not going to suck my dick when I tell you to?”

She laughed softly, but didn’t make a move, even though her breath had become noticeably faster and she stopped trying to pull her hand away.

Five unbuckled his seat belt and slid the seat back further to make more room. Then he settled back into the seat, spreading his legs apart and leaning his head back with his eyes closed.

“Darling, I really don’t want to have to tell you again,” he warned, not even bothering to look over at her or open his eyes.

As he moved her hand over the crotch of his pants again, Viv took a deep, shaky breath and bit her bottom lip.  He knew exactly how to get to her.  How to turn her from a strong, confident woman into a quivering mess of sexed-up gelatin.  It’s like he knew the special, magic formula to instantly soak her panties and leave her wanting him.  She may have been the boss of him in every other aspect of their lives, but when it came to anything sexual…Five was in charge.

After a brief look to her nosy neighbor, who happened to be looking straight ahead for once, she undid her own seat belt and leaned in closer to Five. She lightly ran her lips over his neck while she started undoing his pants.

“You’re lucky I’m willing to let you talk to me like that,” she murmured with a smile before kissing the corner of his mouth.

“You’ve been letting me talk to you like that since the day we met,” he replied; which was entirely true. Then he let out a soft moan as she freed his dick from his pants and started slowly stroking him.

“So, what’s going to be in this for me?” Viv asked, still teasing him with feather light kisses on his neck.

“Dinner. Maybe,” Five answered dryly, trying to conceal his smile as he inhaled a sharp breath when her hand moved over him again.

The movement stopped completely then, and Five opened his eyes to look at her unamused face. Trying to push himself up into her fist, but to no avail, Five conceded with a short laugh.

“How does this sound? If we ever get out of this nightmare and home again, I’m going to get you on all fours and fuck you with my hand, then my mouth, and then my dick until you’re coming onto each one of them.”

Viv could feel the unmistakable rush of moisture between her legs when he said things like that. It was an automatic response from her body; because it knew that’s exactly what was going to happen. She started to rub his cock again, harder and faster this time, causing him to flop his head back with a loud groan and close his eyes again.

“Deal. Just make sure you’re watching the road and pay attention if we start moving.”

“Uh-huh…got it,” he mumbled, his hand already pushing her head down.

Vivian was on him a second later, taking him all in at once, and letting him guide her head with his hand in her hair. If there was one thing she knew, it was that the man loved a good blow job. She’d given countless to him over the years, and in that time had gotten to know exactly the way he liked it and the quickest way to make him finish, too. She considered herself a Professional Number Five Cock Sucker at this point. She could have taught a class.

She made little moaning noises as she moved her head up and down in a certain rhythm, making sure the head of his dick hit the back of her throat each time. She gagged once in a while, but he liked that, too; knowing he was big enough to choke her if he really pushed her down hard enough. The angle was awkward, but not anything she couldn’t handle and she used her hand along with her mouth to speed things up. But when her neck and back were starting to ache and the gear shift was digging into her armpit, he was still going strong. She had another trick up her sleeve that would wrap things up, though.

Taking her mouth off, but still working him with her hand, she looked up and made sure he was watching her face as she licked her lips.

“Let me feel your cum down my throat, Daddy,” she purred, as seductively as she could.

Then she was back to sucking him off and she could hear the low groaning noise that meant he was going to do just what she had asked of him. His hand tightened in her hair and he held her down while he pushed his hips up, his back arching and body stiff and twitching while he lost himself to her expert mouth-fucking skills. He was almost completely spent, the last few spurts of cum sliding down her throat, when there was the undeniable crunching sound and hard jolt of their car hitting the one in front of them.

Viv did choke a little with the impact, and lucky for Five he didn’t get his dick bitten off. The car had been rolling so slowly that it had only gently bumped the other car. But it was still enough to do some damage. Not to mention the impact had somehow kicked the music back on and suddenly the car was being blasted with the all-too familiar lyrics of “Sweet Caroline”.

…touching me…touching youuuuuu….

“Fuck!” Five cried as Viv lifted her head up quickly and looked out the windshield to see what had happened.

She groaned. “Five, god damn it! I told you to watch what you were doing!”

“Yeah, I know!” he snapped back at her over the loudly obnoxious song. While trying to stuff himself back into his pants and zip up, he visibly winced. “I guess my foot slipped off the brake! I was a little preoccupied!”

Sweet Caroline…bum bum bum…

“You were preoccupied?! I was the one choking on your damn dick!”

“Charming, Viv, really.”

Good times never seemed so good….

“Well, shit. Great, the guy is getting out of his car. Oh my god, he’s walking over here! Now what?”

“Jesus, I don’t know! Act fucking normal I guess, if you can manage that,” Five barked at her. “And turn this FUCKING music off!”

Five practically punched the touchscreen with his fist and Neil shut up again. The car seemed extra quiet, except for their angry breathing.

As the other driver got closer, Viv suddenly realized the absurdity of the whole situation. She knew what they looked like; her hair a tangled mess from Five’s hand, lips swollen and her chest flushed. Five was breathing hard and trying to tuck in his shirt and buckle his belt. Then add in the fact that they had started yelling at each other, and Viv immediately burst out laughing. When Five looked at her, first in complete shock, he must have come to the same conclusion she had and he shook his head with a smile.

“You are a very bad girl, Vivian Hargreeves.”

“And you are a very bad influence,” she replied with another giggle.

As Five composed himself and got out of the car to assess the minor damage with the annoyed looking man; Viv glanced over to Gladys who was wearing a very sour expression on her face. Clearly, she had seen the whole thing go down, including the sinful activity that had taken place. Instead of hiding in embarrassment, though, Viv just waved out the window to her with a happy smile and gave her a thumb’s up. Then she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and licked her lips, all while staring the haughty looking woman in the face. She couldn’t help but crack up again when she saw the woman gasp and cover her mouth with her hand, completely appalled.

Later that evening, after they had finally gotten home and eaten dinner and Five had eaten something else just like he had promised, they were lying in bed in the dark when Viv started laughing again.

“I can’t stop thinking about that lady’s face. She was so horrified. I’m sure she was going to go pray for us as soon as she could get back to her church.”

Five chuckled. “Well, you did put on a good show.”

“Yeah, but was it worth that ticket and the increase in our auto insurance?”

Five pulled her in close to him and kissed her cheek. “Absolutely one-hundred percent worth it.”

Viv sighed and laid her head on his chest. “You know what’s weird though? I kind of liked it.”

“Of course you did. What’s not to like?”

She rolled her eyes. “Not that. Doing it in public like that. Where people could see us? It was kind of a rush.”

“Huh. Well, that’s certainly good to know. Let me file that away along with all the other dirty things my wife likes.”

“That file must be getting pretty big by now. Your wife sounds like freak,” she laughed.

“You have no idea.”

A few days later, Viv was standing in front of her closet after her morning shower, wrapped in a towel and staring at the empty space that used to be occupied by more clothes.

“Five! Where the hell are all my work pants?” she yelled out.

A minute later, Five strolled in with his coffee, looking suspiciously innocent. “What do you mean?”

She eyed him up with a hand on her hip. “My pants are missing. Know anything about this?”

He shook his head with a smile and took a sip from his mug. “Not a clue. Weird. Guess you’re going to just have to wear a skirt to work.”

Viv narrowed her eyes. “What are you doing?”

Five shrugged and walked to her closet, looking at the line of skirts. Picking out a tight, black skirt that would be way too short to wear to work, he placed it on the bed. “Wear that one.”

“Five…I can’t wear-“

“I thought I’d come by and take you out to lunch today,” he interrupted with a gleam in his eye.

Now she understood. This skirt was for him, not her. And she was pretty sure she knew what lunch meant.

With a shake of her head she smiled. “You know, this skirt would actually be perfect to wear today. Even though there’s a good chance I might accidentally give everyone at work a look at my Area 51.”

“Your what?”

She shrugged. “I’m trying out new names for my vag. Area 51. Like it?”

“I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he replied sarcastically.

“Yes, you do,” she grinned.

Five just smirked knowingly and left the room to let her finish getting ready. But when she opened her underwear drawer, she found that it was empty as well.

“God damn it, he’s good,” she muttered to herself with a smile.

Viv spent the rest of the morning trying to avoid the scandalized looks of her coworkers while also trying to pull her skirt down so it wouldn’t ride all the way up and show the entire lab her bare bikini biscuit, which she had decided was her new favorite term. In between wrestling with her completely inappropriate outfit, she kept an eye on the clock. She was supposed to meet Five downstairs in the lobby at noon. He didn’t say where he was taking her, but she figured that was because she was the lunch.

Finally, it was noon and Viv rushed downstairs, fully anticipating a nice long lunch hour consisting of an orgasm or two. When she saw Five she hugged him and gave him a kiss.

“So, where are you taking me?”

He let his hands roam over her hips and down to her ass that was just barely covered by the skirt. “I don’t care. Wherever you want. What sounds good?”

Viv frowned. “Wait. Are you actually taking me out to lunch?”

He smiled innocently. “That’s what I said I was going to do. Why? What were you thinking?”

With a very suspicious look at her husband, Viv cocked her head to the side. “What was up with the skirt then? And the no panties?”

Again, Five just shrugged like he had no idea what she was getting at. “Nothing. I just like that skirt, it looks nice on you. And you probably left all your underwear in the dryer like you always do.”

Viv let out a frustrated sigh. “You are so weird. Fine, let’s go across the street to that café. If I can make it there without flashing the entire city my pink velvet sausage wallet.”

Five choked on a shocked laugh. “Your what?”

“What? You don’t like that one? I thought it was a winner.”

“And I’m the weird one,” he said with a shake of his head.

After their actual lunch of food, where Viv fully expected Five to blink her out of there and fuck her somewhere private, but never did; they walked back across to Viv’s building where she went to give him a kiss good bye.

“Hang on. I’ll go up with you.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Why?”

“Can’t I want to spend a few more minutes with my beautiful wife? Is that a crime?”

“You’re up to something, Hargreeves; I know you are.”

But Five gave no further explanation, so they walked to the elevator together. Viv’s lab was on the 20th floor, and the elevators were all packed with workers returning from lunch. When the doors opened, a throng of people pushed in, filling it almost to capacity. Five had led her in with a hand on the small of her back and they ended up in the back corner, which Viv didn’t really like since they were packed in so tight. She leaned in closer to Five so she didn’t have to be so close to the other people.

As soon as the doors closed and everyone pushed the buttons to their respective floors, Viv felt Five’s hand on her ass. She turned and gave him a little smile, since that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for him to do. But what he did next certainly was. She stood there while he continued south with his hand, stopping just below the short hemline of her skirt. Then, with a move so smooth she wasn’t sure how he did it, his hand was under the back of her skirt with his fingers sneaking forward between her legs.

Viv let out a loud gasp, then quickly shut her mouth as several people turned to look at her. Five continued sliding his fingers forward until they were perfectly positioned, the slick from her rapidly dampening pussy coating them as he started to gently finger her. Viv tried to step away, but he held her to him with a firm grip on her arm, and he moved her body so that her back was closer to the elevator wall. It obviously wouldn’t take much for anyone near them to realize what was going on. But as with most elevators full of people, it was awkwardly quiet and everyone just stared straight ahead or at the moving floor numbers.

Viv tried to clench her legs together, then she tried to wriggle her way out of his grasp, but neither one of those things worked and Five didn’t let up. As the elevator climbed the floors, stopping periodically to let more people on and off, she started to get more and more turned on. He really was an expert finger fucker, and he knew all the right things to do to drive her crazy.

There were still plenty of people around, although it had thinned out a little. Five pretended like nothing was going on, just staring straight ahead like everyone else. Viv had to close her eyes and bite her lip to hold in the whimpers that were dangerously close to creeping out of her mouth. When Five sank his middle finger inside of her, fucking her with it while also fingering her clit, she couldn’t suppress a moan. When a man started to turn around to look, she coughed loudly to try and cover it up and he turned back towards the doors.

“You’re so close, aren’t you baby? Don’t let anyone hear you.” Five whispered so softly in her ear that it was almost inaudible. But she heard it, and she also felt his lips graze over her ear lobe when he said it.

It wasn’t fair. Five had an entire car to fully unleash himself in before. He didn’t have to be quiet or hold back his orgasm. This was a totally different level of torture; even if Viv was both loving and hating every minute of it.

Finally, after what seemed like the slowest crawling elevator ride in history, the last person got out on the 19th floor. When the doors closed behind them, the long, shaky moan from Vivian echoed through the empty space.

“You fucking bastard,” she panted out before finally breaking free from his grasp on her arm, as well as his hand under her skirt.

Five just smirked proudly and then quickly slammed his fist against the stop button, halting the elevator between floors with a jolt and setting off the alarm. He was back on her in a second, pushing her against the back wall and kissing her hard, one hand on the side of her neck while the other slid back under her skirt. This time he didn’t care about being discreet, and he shoved the front of the skirt up so she was fully exposed for him and he picked up where he left off.

Viv cried into his mouth as he lifted one of her legs up to his waist, holding her under her thigh while he circled her clit over and over again with his hand. His body was pressing into hers and he was breathing hard and fast; kissing her neck while she whined for him.

“Did you like getting fucked under your skirt like that? With everyone around? Knowing you could get caught at any second?” he murmured.

“Fuck, I hate you so much. But yes…oh god…yes I liked it.”

“You better finish up for me, angel. We can’t keep this stopped forever. If these doors open, everyone will see what a horny little slut you are.”

With each heaving breath Viv let out a whimper until he had her completely falling apart; her hands raking through his hair and her head thrown back.

“That’s my girl, keep going,” he urged as he pushed harder and faster.

That was all she could take and then she was yelling much too loudly for no one else to hear, even if they were trapped in there alone with alarm bells blasting. Her cries kept going, too, her body pulsing against Five’s hand as she clutched onto his arms. When she could finally stop, Five pulled away and lowered her skirt for her. The giant grin on his face was incredibly annoying, but Viv could only let out a wheezy laugh as she tried to compose herself again.

“Fuck…”

“Sorry, darling, we don’t have time for that. This will have to suffice until you get home later,” he quipped as he wiped his hand off on his pant leg and then pushed the button to stop the alarm and get the elevator moving again.

They were only one floor away from her stop, and when the doors opened, Viv found herself face to face with several of her co-workers looking very concerned.

“Oh my gosh, Vivian! Are you ok? We heard the alarm and then we thought we heard screaming.”

Five smirked and looked at his wife, cooly leaning with his back against the doors to keep them open for her, his hands shoved in his pants pockets.

Viv smoothed out her skirt and ran a hand down the back of her hair, before faking a laugh and waving a dismissive hand at the group of worried faces.

“Oh, no, I’m fine. It was silly, actually. Five accidentally bumped into the alarm button and it scared me so I screamed. I’m so over dramatic sometimes,” she explained with a self-deprecating eye roll.

That seemed to satisfy everyone well enough, despite some suspicious looks, and they slowly scattered back to their work stations. When they were alone again, Viv turned to Five in a huff.

“I’ve said it before, but you really are an asshole.”

Five grabbed her hand and pulled her into him, holding her around her waist. “Sounded to me like you were having a pretty good time. And you’re always saying how I don’t listen to you. Well, I listened this time. You wanted public sex; I delivered.”

Viv couldn’t really argue with that, so she just shook her head and put her arms around his shoulders. “As much as I enjoyed that little ride you gave my panty hamster back there, consider this war.”

“Panty hamster? What is wrong with you?”

Viv laughed and kissed him before he stepped back on the elevator, still smiling at his crazy but adorable wife while the doors closed between them.

It was a week later when the war continued. They had a deal worked out every month where Viv would let Five drag her off to their small, public library in town and sit there while he pored over old, dusty textbooks of the most boring variety in exchange for him letting her pick out any movie to go see and he had to go along with no complaining. This weekend it was library day.

She hadn’t even been doing anything all that sexual.  Just resting her hand on his leg while he scanned through some old physics textbooks and she leafed through a mystery novel.  It’s not like she’d never rested her hand there before.  Or absent-mindedly stroked her thumb over his thigh.  But for whatever reason, this time, it was getting to Five.  Maybe it was the fact that he was surrounded by books, and the quiet of the library, which he’d always loved.  Or maybe it was weird, suppressed memories of him and Dolores in a similar building, only with fewer walls and less readable options.

Five tried to block it out of his mind, instead concentrating on the long, drawn-out equations and laws of thermo-dynamics.  But he found himself reading the same sentences over and over again, his mind wandering to her hand and the warmth of her skin penetrating the fabric of his pants.  Then his mind wandered even more.  To what he knew her hand felt like on other areas of his body.  Despite the internal battle in his head, visions of her stroking him, hard and fast, while kissing him and biting at his neck were working their way to the forefront. And unfortunately, she had noticed.

“Something wrong there, honey? You look a little flushed,” Viv asked with a smile as she moved her hand further up his thigh.

Five cleared his throat. He really didn’t want her to win this one. “No, I’m fine, thank you.”

After he continued pretending to be engrossed in his book, Viv took it one step further and pushed her palm against the swelling between his legs, rubbing it over the top of his pants. She heard the unmistakable sound of a quiet groan and she jumped a little when he suddenly grabbed her wrist.

“Nice try, angel. You may have me worked up just like you always know how to do, but two can play at this game.”

He held her hand on his crotch while using the other to pull her chair closer to him. A loud screeching noise filled the air as it scraped over the floor and several people looked up to stare. Knowing that Five was trying to embarrass her on purpose, she just smiled over at him and pushed her hand in harder.

It was difficult to keep up the façade, though, when Five was returning the favor by shoving his free hand up the sundress she was wearing and rubbing her over her panties. She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. When she retaliated with a squeeze and her own rough tug it made him growl deep in his throat.

After a couple minutes of under the table rub and tug, they were both quickly losing their resolve. It didn’t really matter who was going to win anymore.

“What do you say we take this one step further?” Five asked quietly in between ragged breaths.

Viv took a glance around her.  There weren’t many people there, but there were a few.  There was absolutely no way they going to be able to just start fucking without anyone seeing.  And last time she checked, sex in a public setting was still a crime.

“As much as I want to…and believe me I really want to…I don’t think this is the best place for that.”

Five ran a finger inside her underwear and she let out a tiny squeak before shoving her hand down his pants and grabbing hold of his dick. Five jolted in his seat, his knees hitting the underside of the table.

“Fuck, Vivie,” he whispered. “This is happening. I am going to fuck you in this library right here, right now.”

She looked around again and then noticed the quiet reading room in the back. It was used mostly by students for studying but it had several small cubicles with desks for privacy. Perfect.

Viv removed her hand from his pants and pushed his away from her. With a smile she stood up and offered out her hand to him.

“Come on, I have an idea.”

Tugging at the front of his pants, Five looked up at her. “So, I have to walk across the library with a raging hard-on? Thanks a lot.”

“Well, it’s either that or you sit here and wait until it’s gone and your balls are blue as fuck.”

“Fair point. Just try to stay in front of me so I don’t look like some disgusting pervert.”

“You are a disgusting pervert.”

His eyes narrowed at her remark, but he stood up and took her hand while Viv led him to the back room, all while trying to hide his awkward boner from the suspicious eyes of the librarian as they walked past. Once inside the study room they could see there was only one other cubicle occupied. It was by a college-aged student that seemed oblivious to his surroundings and had earbuds shoved in his ears as he tapped the rhythm of the music out on the desk with his pencil.

Viv saw an empty one in the back corner and they hurried over. She pulled her panties off and shoved them into one of Five’s pockets before straddling his thighs. He uncuffed his dress shirt at the wrists and rolled his sleeves up to his elbows like he was going to start in on some major work, before he started undoing his pants. Viv draped her arms over his shoulders, running her fingers softly through his hair and pushing it back over his ear.

“Do you know how impossibly sexy you are?” she asked in between her own quick breaths, trying to keep her voice down. Leaning in close, her lips brushed over his neck. “Sometimes I look at you and I can’t even believe you’re mine.”

“This is supposed to be a quick fuck, you know that right?” he asked as he revealed his straining cock to her.

“So?”

“So, when you say amazingly romantic things like that to me, it makes me want to take my time with you.”

Viv moved further up his lap, adjusting herself carefully, and sank down onto his dick. The quiet moan he let out sounded much louder in the quiet of the reading room. Viv breathed out a soft laugh at his inability to hold back. The skirt of her dress covered them so that at least they weren’t totally exposed, although it was going to be pretty obvious what was going on if someone walked by. She didn’t care about that, though, because all she wanted to do was let Five take over and make her feel good in the way only he knew how.

With her arms wrapped around his shoulders and her chest held tightly to his, her lips found their way to his neck again. With her face pressed into his warm skin, she closed her eyes and breathed in, convinced that he must emit some type of pheromone that was made specifically for her. She imagined this invisible chemical compound drifting out of his pores, being driven by his bounding jugular pulse, and going directly to the unevolved part of her brain that was activated only by pure sexual impulse. Because there was no way anyone else in the world would be able to turn her on as completely as Five did, just on scent alone.

“Can’t I tell you nice things and still want you to fuck me senseless?” she purred.

The answer came in the form of Five roughly pushing her hips down and forward, using his strength to pump her body back and forth on top of him, despite what he had said about wanting to take his time.

Viv whimpered softly next to his ear and she could hear the sexy grunting noises he was making under his breath as he thrust her aggressively over his cock. Her body was being driven exclusively by his strength, with his fingers digging into her hips and ass; the muscles in his forearms straining as he worked hard and fast. The chair started to creak with the movement and the legs thumped and scraped on the floor.

“Someone’s going to hear us,” she whispered, her breath catching in her throat.

“I don’t care,” Five answered, looking her in the eyes while his hair fell over his own.

Viv bit her lip to suppress a moan and she smiled at him. “What would you do if we got caught?”

“They can watch all they want. But nothing is going to stop me from Fucking. You.”

His last two words were accentuated with more forceful thrusts, slamming her down so hard that the chair was loudly shoved backwards.

“Do more of that, please Five,” she begged, knowing he couldn’t resist doing anything that drove her crazy like that.

Five gritted his teeth and continued to pound her body into his, the hot sleeve of her cunt sliding tightly over his dick faster and faster until he was sure neither one of them were going to hold on much longer. The chair underneath him was complaining loudly and Five tried to quiet it by bracing them with his foot against the floor, the sole of his expensive Oxford leaving black scuff marks on the faded linoleum as his heel skittered across.

Viv’s hands were in his hair and the back of his neck as she desperately tried to muffle her cries into his shoulder. She could feel her clit banging into his pubic bone over and over again until she was dangerously close to coming. She should have been in a hurry, trying to speed things up and will herself to finish so that they wouldn’t get caught. But the more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea of it. She wanted someone to hear. She wanted someone to see.

“You feel so good like this. I want everyone to see, too. Let them see how good you fuck me; that I’m the only one that gets to touch you. I’m the only one that gets to ride your dick. Let them watch while you make me come, just for you, Five.”

“Jesus, Vivie…” he moaned into her hair. “If you say one more thing like that, I’m going to-”

“Come on, baby; let this whole library know how Number Five Hargreeves fucks his wife,” she groaned next to his ear with a smile.

“Oh, fuuuck, yes!” he growled much too loudly, throwing his head back and digging his fingers into her waist while they both climaxed together.

Viv startled and put her hand over his mouth, but it was too late. There was no way in hell no one had heard that.

“Five!” she scolded half-heartedly in between heaving breaths. She was already trying to climb off of him on stiff and cramped legs. “What the hell?”

“Sorry, Vivie,” he panted, helping her to stand up. “You did ask for it, though.”

Once she fixed her dress again and looked back over, she saw he was smiling, not even giving a shit that he had alerted half the library. Viv risked a quick peek over the cubicle wall and by some miracle there didn’t appear to be anyone around. She may have talked a big game during the heat of the moment, but she hadn’t really wanted to endure the humiliation of getting caught.

She leaned her butt against the desk, trying to catch her own breath as she shook her head at him, watching as he nonchalantly zipped up his pants again. He passed a hand through his hair and looked up at her, somehow managing to look even more handsome than usual.

“How do you manage to do that to me?”

“What do I do?”

“Make me fall in love with you over and over again.”

Five laughed softly, looking slightly embarrassed. “Only you would turn a quick, public fuck session into a romantic date.”

After they smoothed their clothes and hair out as much as possible, and their underpants were back where they were supposed to be, they emerged from their little cubicle. They only got about ten steps out, though, when they were stopped in their tracks by a very stern and irritated librarian who blocked their path with her hands on her hips.

“I would like you both to know that we do not take these shenanigans lightly, and I have alerted the police who will be here shortly. As I’m sure you are quite aware, there are laws against indecent exposure and lewd public acts.”

Viv didn’t know what to say or do, except for turning beet red and looking at her feet. But Five just flashed the lady his best innocent smile.

“Actually, there was no indecent exposure. We made sure to keep it classy.”

The librarian huffed loudly and pointed a finger in Five’s face. “Now, listen here, you…you…hooligan! I am used to having to remind the teenagers to behave in here, but you are two grown adults. It’s disgraceful! You should be ashamed of yourselves!”

As Viv stood there, trying to decide if she should laugh or not while continuing to stare at the floor, the kid that had been studying at one of the other cubicles got up to leave, but stopped in front of Five on his way out, a big grin on his face. He offered out his hand for a fist bump.

“Dude, way to go, that was awesome. Seriously, best study session ever.” His eyes roamed over Vivian. “Whoa, she’s hot, too.”

Ignoring the other guy’s attempt at male bonding, Five put his arm protectively around Viv’s waist and pulled her against his hip. With another heart-melting smirk that had her trying not to laugh again, he raised his eyebrows at her. Viv could feel the tell-tale staticky sensation vibrate against her body as Five was already flexing his hands.

“Ready to leave, darling?”

Viv nodded with a smile. “Yep.”

“Tell the cops we said hi,” Five snarked just before opening one of his convenient portals and jumping them both out of there.

They landed slightly off from his intended mark in the parking lot, Viv’s back slamming into their car door. Post-orgasm blinks were always a bit trickier for him.

“Ow!” she cried.

“Sorry, are you ok?”

Vivie nodded, rubbing her back but still smiling. “Nice one, by the way. Poor lady, though. At least she’ll have something to talk about at her next knitting circle.”

Five laughed. “I don’t think they talk about lewd public acts in knitting circles. At least not hers, I’m guessing. But I’m pretty happy that I got called a hooligan. That’s a new one.”

As they both got into the car and Five started it up, he turned to his wife, with her messy hair and flushed cheeks, and smiled.

“So, where should we plan our next little adventure?”

“Next adventure? Uh-oh, I got you addicted to being a sex criminal now, didn’t I?”

He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss. “I think it’s more like I’m just addicted to you, angel.”

“See? There you go again, being annoyingly sexy and making me fall in love with you again.”

A cop car pulled in, and Five drove quickly out of there, one hand on the wheel and the other on her leg. He gave her bare thigh a squeeze as he turned out into traffic. “As long as you keep feeling that way, Vivie, consider me one very happy and lucky man.”

Link to my Master List

[cakeofthepan]

Congrats to Will for achieving 2 of the greatest achievements in life, becoming a father and murdering Freddie Wong.

[Audio Transcript:

[Rhythmic clacking music plays]

Will: Hey everyone, I’m Will Campos I play Normal Oak, a mixed-up mascot kid who doesn’t know who he is anymore. Teen fact this week about Normal, this one’s for you Freddie

Freddie: Yay!

Will: That raccoon that Normal found, that he befriended a couple of teen facts ago, it’s actually not a racoon it’s a goingondog.

[music cuts out]

Freddie: What’s a goingondog?

Beth: oohhhhhh

Will: [extremely pleased with himself] Not much dog, what’s a going on with you bitch?

Freddie: [screams in agony]

[crab rave starts playing]

Matt: [laughing] are you serious? Did you seriously fall for that?

Anthony: [overlapping] Did you seriously fall for that? You actually fell for that?

Beth: [overlapping] I can’t- I can’t believe you-

Freddie: [overlapping] you BITCH

Will: [full on cackling]

Matt: Are you serious?

Anthony: Oh my god, Freddie is full on doing the Evangelion Shinji like doubled over in his chair clutching his head.

Beth: Oh No!

Will: [still cackling]

Freddie: [screams in agony again]

Anthony: He literally looks like he has to go pilot the Eva right now

Will: YESSS

Anthony: I can’t believe that

Freddie: Aaaaaa what

Matt: Will- Will, you found his perfect weakness, you found like a moment when his defenses were down

Anthony: Oh my god

Will: I, alright, so here’s the real story, I became a-

Freddie: GODDAMN IT

Will: [laughs]

Anthony: How did you fall for it?

Matt: How did you fall for that?

Freddie: [yelling] I don’t know, I don’t know, it was a moment of weakness, Jesus Christ

Anthony: Oh man

Will: [laughs] so um, here’s the story of that dad fact. Last month, I became a father. My wife and I had our beautiful baby boy Andy. He’s doing well, everyone’s doing great. I have been thinking about what my dad fact was gonna be for a month straight while sleep deprived and pacing around back and forth. And I was like, I feel like I’ve got one chance here to really pull something over on somebody. And I thought of this goingondog thing, I was like wait a sec. Cuz Freddie updogged me

Matt: Mmm Hmmm

Will: two decades ago I swear to god. Ten year- twelve years ago

Matt: Oh my god

Beth: Damn

Will: He got me with just straight up updog and I was like, I will have my revenge one day

Freddie: Wait do you remember that? I don’t remember that

Will: I had never heard updog before, and then you just updogged me and then everyone laughed at me and I’ve been holding a grudge-

Anthony: The day Freddie updogged you was the most important day of your life. To him it was Tuesday

Freddie: [laughing] For me it was a Tuesday

Will: And I was like, I bet my first fact back everyone’s gonna be wondering what it is, he’s gonna say something about having a kid. And then I’m like, oh wait, I’ll call Freddie out specifically, I’ll reel, I’ll reel him in.

Freddie: Oh what, that’s the move. That was the move. That’s what got me dude

Beth: Damn

Will: Yeah, so I don’t know. Anyway, I can die now I’m quitting the podcast. Goodbye

Anthony: Wow

Freddie: Fuck, bro. Just like fucking James Earl Jones used to say dude, the circle is now complete

Matt: I just watched an assassination. You know like, one of those videos that nobody moves. Like, we all just sat here just watched Freddie get murdered.

Will: [laughs] one of those 3 seconds before disaster happened videos. Anyway

Freddie: Holy shit. Do I need to turn back in my podcaster card?

Beth and Matt: I think so

[laughter]

Freddie: Do I need to go back to the podcasters guild and tell them that I’ve been forcibly ejected by an updog joke?

Beth: Hi

Freddie: [screams]

Beth: Hi

Freddie: Fuck you Will

Will: Hi Beth, how are you?

[music fades out]

Anthony: Roll stealth with disadvantage Taylor

Freddie: Taylor’s just so pumped at the idea that there was a ghost

Will: Taylor Swift really wondering if uhh we’re uhh out of the woods yet

Beth: Mmmmmm

Freddie: don’t ugh Will

Will: Did you hear her new song hey what’s up dog?

Freddie: Go fuck yourself

Beth: Freddie says it smells like wrong dog in here

Anthony: Freddie, you wanna roll to bofa?

End Transcript]

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Saturday Fandom :) This ep is solid gold. We see how Lucy takes care of Tim in her own way in this one. How pranking is one of their natural love languages. The continuous pining era continues on. It’s pretty damn glorious. Let’s get going shall we?

5x06 The Reckoning

We start off with Aaron and Tim. The more we get these two more I love it. Aaron asking Tim if he should be working? Didn’t he just have surgery? Tim deflects and says it was only an old bullet. Mmhmm. Aaron really jumps in after that. Says he heard him talking to Ashley about him grabbing rest of his stuff.... The balls on him LOL Tim straight up walks away from his ass before he can speak more. It’s so funny. Lucy can immediately see how grumpy Tim is as he approaches her.

She stops him and gets him to say good morning. Your girl won’t be ignored Timothy haha Also seeing her and Chris laughing no doubt added to his grumpy fire. He was trying to avoid it all together. Sadly your wife will not allow this. Tim is as civil as he can muster up. Not wanting to say or do more. Truly doesn't want to be around the clown.

So after his pleasantries he takes back off. Leaving Lucy stunned in his wake. She immediately looks to Aaron. Who says too much and yet not enough for her. Lucy is reaching for more but Aaron isn’t stupid. He stumbles around and tries to get away ASAP. Fearing he’s said too much as it is. The fear Tim has instilled in him is hilarious. Lucy is left wondering what the hell is going on with her best friend?

Aaron tries to get Tim talk again. Idk why he thinks he would truly I don't. lol He flames out pretty quickly with the idea. It's a swing and a miss good sir. Only one who gets that is currently not in this shop. They stop to help this director with a prop that fell out. Aaron tries to lift it solo to impress this girl. He fails so badly. Tim has to be tagged in to help him. This is where the premise of this episode begins.

Tim placing his radio down in her truck bed to help. Their hilarious banter kills me while they lift it up. My god it’s amazing Tim doesn’t kill Aaron regularly LOL Poor Tim looks wiped by the time they’re done loading it back up. He has to take a call while Aaron fails miserably at hitting on her. It’s so funny I’m cackling. They get called away while the director takes off with Tim’s radio...

The director finds Lucy of all people to return the radio to. What cracks me up the most is the director's confusion from Lucy's excitement LOL All she wants to do is the right thing with it and get it back to Tim. Here's Lucy 0-60 explosion of happiness with how delighted she is he forgot it. This scene is so great for a couple reasons. First off her calling Tim 'Broody.' I’m dying. I mean he can be pretty broody especially right now. It just kills me that’s how she referred to Tim. Second she seems so confused by Lucy’s excitement.

She starts going off about how Tim is a super cop. How he’s never once let her forget about being late to roll call one time. Asking her 'Can you believe that?' This girl is like ‘Ok….’ She just wanted to drop off a radio LMFAO. Even says ‘You’ll give it to him right? ‘Wondering if Lucy will given how giddy she is about him losing it. Lucy promises her she will…but she just gave her a Christmas present ha Not a good day unless she can mess with her soulmate.

Lucy is about to tell him when we see a look of realization dawn over her. Now we know she knows something is wrong with Tim. For him to forget his radio is a sin he would’ve blasted her to the wall for. She knows he’s off. Just doesn’t know why. Teasing/pranking is one of their love languages. Which is why she chooses this path with his radio going forward. So married even when they aren’t even sharing scenes.

We return to Tim and Aaron ripping apart their shop for his radio. Tim is frantic as he searches for it. Says he’s going to check their kit bag again. It then hits him that the lady they helped has it. Tim knows Aaron was trying to hit on her while he was on the phone. What Tim didn’t see was Aaron absolutely crash and burn with his lines.

So Tim asks if he got her number? Aaron KILLS me with his answer. He seems so cocky with his 'Almost.' I’m rolling. Tim’s reaction is the best part. Like what the hell am I going to do with that info? It’s completely useless and helps him in no way. Their dynamic is hysterical. I don’t know pre-Lucy Tim could’ve handled Aaron the way present day Tim does. lmao

Tim’s phone goes off. It’s someone texting him about his radio. He is so very confused what's happening. Also very agitated they're holding it hostage. Aaron asks who it is? Tim doesn’t know but says they’re in a lot of trouble. Aaron being his rookie self just says to do an incident report. Tim tells him why he can’t do that. I mean a day of suspension for a Sergeant isn't a good look...So I don't blame him for wanting to hunt it down instead. Tim zooms in and say that he knows where this is. So the race begins to find his stolen radio.

The guys arrive at a coffee truck. Aaron making a comment it looks sketchy af LOL Tim defends it saying this is where he gets his coffee every morning. Goes on a mini rant about screen writers and oak milk mafia. I love this man so much. His dislike of screenwriter continues and it's so funny. Aaron saying that line I love so much. That I have used couple times in previous reviews. Telling him he’s like the old dude from UP. I mean he is. haha But we love him just the same.

He asks the owner if she’s seen his radio? She tells him no. It’s then he gets another text of his radio on a studio lot. Aaron is so confused why this is happening. Saying they haven’t asked for money or anything. They could be doing anything with that radio but not this. Tim says he’s not sure but they’re gonna find out.

They make it the studio lot fairly quickly. They find out it’s where Tim’s fav movie was filmed. Aaron starts to put it together little more. Saying first his fav coffee place then his fav movie. Whoever this is texting him knows him really well. It’s then it hits Tim. it’s Lucy. Ain’t no one knows that man better than her. He knows it too. Who else would know about his elitist black coffee spot, favorite movie and the lot it was filmed on? His wife heh.

We get our first real scene of the episode and it’s glorious. They’re about as married as it gets in this scene. I love how post 5x05 they’re back to being flirty and playful. The teasing is top notch in this scene. Tim asks her right off the bat where his radio is? Lucy plays dumb and says maybe a vengeful spirit took it. It is Halloween after all. Tim doesn’t give into her teasing at first. Ask's why she’s doing this? He's SO grumpy Lordy lord. Good thing Lucy is well versed in all things Tim Bradford.

This doesn't phase her in the least. She charges forward with her plan. Continuing to play dumb and says she doesn’t know what he’s talking about… The sarcastic banter really picks up above. He asks if she’s doing this because he was tough on her as a rookie? I mean that could be one reason haha But that isn't THE reason Tim. Lucy is armed with sass and maximum level teasing with her reply ‘We’re you? Gosh, I hadn’t noticed…’

Lucy throws out her bait waiting for him to take a bite. Hoping he does so. Wrapping her concern into some playful banter. Thinking if she offers up her 'help.' He will crack and tell her what's going on with him. Tim holds steady and is just as sassy in his reply. Telling her there is nothing going on with him. Ok Tim....it's not like you're talking to the one person who knows you best or anything...

Lucy drops the playful banter and gets real with him. We can hear the concern in her voice. Especially the way she says 'Are you okay?' She is truly worried about him. She can't stand him being upset and her not knowing why. We do see him soften when she shows that concern for him. His words are saying one thing but his face is saying another. Look at that man above. All soft looks and heart eyes for her asking. For caring.

Despite the sweet look above he is is deflection nation with Lucy in his reply. Come on Timothy of all the people to do this to she is not the one. Can read you like a damn book blind if she had to. The thing to note here is the amount of feelings being shown here. Goodness these two are so damn loud with their feelings. In the middle of the bloody precinct no less. Which has been a thing for them since S4 really. No one could've been shocked they ended up together. If they were they clearly weren't paying attention ha

All Lucy wants to do is fix it for him. It's her natural instinct to do so. But the problem is Tim isn't sharing the problem so she can do this for him. He is being SO stubborn. She truly doesn't understand why he's being this obstinate. The best part of the scene is Lucy legit stomping off in frustration. Can't stand anymore of his games and takes off.

She is so damn mad he won’t just share with her. Share with your wife Timothy. His reaction kills me as well. Eric crushes it with the facial expressions. It's so friggin funny. Tim is just as exasperated with her and she is with him. Gah these two idiots in love. Acting like an old married couple in public. Lucy keeping his damn radio if he’s going to be a stubborn ass LOL I’m dying this scene is masterful.

Lucy comes up to Aaron again seeing if he knows anything. He tells her Tim is just upset about his radio. Lucy offers up she will give him the radio if he just spills it. Aaron holds strong and says he doesn’t know. Tim bypasses her on the way to the shop. Lucy’s sass is fantastic ‘Hi. Good morning.’ Mirroring the one at the beginning of the episode.

Like excuse me hubby you can’t just ignore me and not say hello. Lucy asks the question she already knows the answer to about his radio. Tim tells her it’s in the shop. We hear a call go off for a supervisor. Tim reaches in and grabs this gigantic radio answering dispatch back. Oh Tim...

Lucy’s face is hilarious. Trying not to laugh at his stubborn dumbass. All she wanted you to do was talk my love. Not like you haven't done that before. Now you’ve forced her hand in this prank war LOL Tim is trying so hard to save face with his ‘This is it.’ Lucy giving him crap that hasn’t been standard since the 60s. Tim ignores her and tells Aaron to roll.

Lucy can’t help herself and wants a picture of him with it. I love how cute she is. Tim ignores her and rolls up his window. Her reaction to him shutting window it's so funny. I mean look at HER FACE in that second gif. Like she wasn’t going to think of something to get him to use it. To get back at him for doing that. He brought this on himself. You can’t play these games and expect to win Tim haha

Such a wifey in this moment wanting a pic. I’m laughing so hard about this scene. Lucy tells him to do a radio check. That way she can get her damn pic. Tim’s face is so very over it. I’ve said this many times before. This is the woman you’ve chosen to love Tim LOL Her unbridled joy at thinking of this is so precious. Enjoying her damn self torturing him till he finally fesses up. Can you imagine the camera roll on both of these goobs phones? Probably a plethora of these types of moments. If looks could kill in that 4th gif. Good thing she's immune.

We catch our lovely duo at the end of shift. Lucy comes up with his radio. Hands it back to him. I love how both hold onto it longer than necessary. The symbolism with the radio was seen writers I see you. It was their way of keeping them connected through out this episode. Lucy’s way of staying connected with him. Doing her best to try and distract him. Take care of him in her own way through this prank. One of their love languages whether they admit it or not.

She didn't even know what was wrong but knew she needed to do something for him. Lucy telling him she thought it would be more fun to torture him. Help distract him from whatever he’s going through right now. Wanted to help him get his mind off of whatever is bothering him. Comments she should know better than to get into his personal business... Gah look at the way that man looks at her after she says that. To paraphrase Chandler Bing 'Could he be anymore in love with her?’ You are his personal business Lucy Chen.

All that’s been running around in his mind since you kissed him in 4x22. Tell me you’re in love without saying you are. That’s both of them in this scene. Especially our boy. Tim see's what she did for him. He can’t let her walk away without explaining. This is such growth for him. Look at this man sharing why he’s upset with her. Being truthful and honest about what happened. Lucy’s ‘I’m sorry.’ I truly think she is sorry for him but not for the situation. Inside I’m sure she’s doing victory dance of epic proportions.

He then does Lucy one more solid. Tells her he appreciates her radio gag. That it did help take his mind off things. I love this sfm. Not only has this man shared his feelings with her he then does this. My damn heart. Being so vulnerable in this moment with her. If you don’t see the growth that is this moment for Tim you haven’t been paying attention. I’m so proud of him. Look how far he's come. All because of that beautiful human in front of him. Beautiful inside and out. The impact she has had on this man is unreal.

Also It’s heart eyes nation out here and we’re all here for it. I mean she pranked him so he would feel better. And then he did. That’s love people. Also so very on brand for them it’s insane. Another thing I adore is he is going out of his comfort zone. All to thank her for what she did for him. Not just be annoyed but thank her. 'Started from the bottom now were here.' Oh my lord the growth. Let's not bypass the affectionate stares Lucy is throwing his way as well. This is a two way street of heart eyes and affection in this moment.

The way he looks at her when after she says ‘Well, good.’ Look at that man above. Might as well be a billboard that screams ‘Tim Bradford is hopelessly in love with Lucy Chen.’ Also my god he looked delicious as hell in that shirt. Dark blue does him wonders mmm. That’s my fav color with my fav human. Double yum. Plus biceps on display. Sinfully delicious this man.

Anyways heh There is so much left unsaid and tension between them. You can see it above. There is more Tim wants to say. It reminds me of their parking lot chat in 4x22. Where Lucy is holding her breath as she waits for it. Tim trying to build up the courage to say it. Before he can the clown walks over. Having no idea what he’s just walked into.

Chris comes barreling in like an idiot. Or maybe for once he senses something. But that might be giving him too much credit. Lucy asking if Tim wants to join them? I mean that sounds like legit hell to Tim. He understands her motives though. Maybe if it was just her….Tim does his patented fake Sanford smile. The one where it doesn’t really touch his eyes.

He’s just uncomfortable and wants to go. Look at his body language all he wants to do is flee. He declines and tells them to have fun. You can see Chris's face is slightly confused when Lucy offers this. Like why are you offering for your boss to join us? Cause she's in love with him but you're not gonna put that together. What a ignorant putz lol

We talk about the pinning era in this first half a lot. This one moment is the most epic of the pinning. Tim Bradford is legit LONGING for Lucy out in the open. How he blatantly turns back to watch them go. My poor heartbroken man. The way he drops his arm in defeat. Frustrated she’s with Chris and not him. Gah it's so good. Tim looking devastated she’s with the clown. That he has to go home alone without her. That mistake from 4x12 coming back to haunt him in this moment. Watching as they leave with deep longing and want in his eyes for her. He sighs and climbs into his truck.

Both of their looks are saying so much in this moment. This is what I mean by angsty goodness. Hurts so good to watch these kind of scenes. Lucy sensing his eyes on her and looks right back. The game has changed for her now he’s not with Ashley. It shows as she gazes back at Tim. She's supposed to be present with the clown...but her look indicates she is anything but that. Lucy is back at that truck mentally with Tim as she returns that look. She is throwing out just as much love and longing as Tim is in these looks of theirs. She is feeling what he is throwing down and feels the pull to him. Damn good ep good I love the pining era. It’s *chef kiss*

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

James and Nyla was goodness per usual always enjoy their SL’s

Wes’s SL was ROUGH. Elijah winning and his past being drug up in this one. I wanted to smack him a bit and so did Angela lol

Thank you as always to the amazing readers of these reviewer. Your likes, comments and reblogs fuel my soul and I adore you all. See you in 5x07 :)

[takearisk-xo]

ALREADY HERE

so @brightlybound asked what already gone would be like with the roles reversed, to which i replied "don't give me more fic ideas!" but i couldn't stop the brain rot and this happened anyway. thanks for all the love brightly!!! you yelling about already gone h/g has been an endless source of joy and cackling <333 i've written this little crack au just for you and it is appropriately titled already here

---

Harry sat up a little straighter in his hospital bed as the door to his room opened and a slight figure, with waist length red hair, slipped into the room. Ron and Hermione were arguing about something over the top of his legs, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what. He thought it had something to do with Ernie MacMillan, but now they were going on about Magical Games and Sports and he couldn't be bothered to play catch up.

Ginny didn't acknowledge any of them, and went straight over to the Healer station to read through the latest additions to Harry's chart. For the shortest of moments, a little pang of annoyance reverberated through his chest, then he remembered that Ginny was now his wife, and was free to peruse his medical history as she pleased.

Wife.

She was his wife.

No one had told him how it happened. His days-long bout of unconsciousness, after he'd found out about Sirius, had everyone pretty tight lipped with further details. It was maddening to know little snippets of how his life at twenty-one looked, and yet have absolutely no context for how he'd gotten there.

"I'm telling you," Ron declared loudly. "He started in chess before getting promoted. He never worked in International Cooperation."

"Yes, he did!" Hermione shot back, her tone bordering on furious. "Because I had to work with him on that export of illegal chimera cubs!"

Ron shook his head and looked ready to let loose another retort but Harry cut him off.

"Can-" He cleared his throat, keeping his eyes on Ginny, who in turn, still had her gaze firmly fixed on the parchment in her hands. "Can I talk to Ginny for a moment?"

She glanced around to meet his stare, her brown eyes sharp and a little furrow appearing above her nose. On either side of him, Ron and Hermione exchanged a silent conversation made up of raised eyebrows and shrugs. They must've come to some sort of consensus however, because they both stood at the same time and Ron murmured a quick, "We'll go get tea."

Ginny maintained her wary expression as Hermione gave her shoulder a little squeeze then ducked past her. Ron followed soon after, shutting the door behind him and then they were alone. Alone for the first time since Harry had awoken to find his limbs too long, his friends almost unrecognizable, and the only family he'd ever known to be dead.

Sliding Harry's paperwork back into its slot, Ginny made a show of crossing her arms and frowning at where he sat on the bed. He hardly wanted to have this conversation tucked into the bedsheets like an invalid, so he tugged the blankets aside and moved to stand.

"Don't-" she murmured with a pleading edge to her voice. She'd taken two steps closer in the time it'd taken him to swing his feet around to the side.

Harry huffed impatiently and scowled back at her. "Last I checked, my head was causing all the problems. Not my legs."

Her hard gaze didn't waver, and she apparently didn't consider this statement worthy of a response.

He stayed sitting anyway.

"I have questions," he began.

"I expect you do." Ginny leaned into another step, with her arms still crossed and her eyes flicking down to her feet. "That doesn't mean I have to answer them."

The annoyance he'd felt earlier shifted and heated into full blown irritation. "If you think I'm going to be alright laying here and eating casseroles-"

Ginny spoke over his outburst before he'd even picked up steam. "You're going to have to be."

Harry narrowed his eyes and decided if she could ignore his assertions then he was well within his rights to disregard hers.

"We were... friends," he struggled uselessly, trying, and failing, to ask his first question somewhat delicately. "What changed?"

Her throat bobbed, like it was difficult to swallow even though the look on her face remained impassive.

Harry couldn't stand it. "What changed!?"

Blinking a few times, her reserved mask slipped and her eyes turned blazing.

"Nothing!?" Ginny threw her hands into the air impatiently. "Everything!? But I'm sure as hell not going to sit here and try to prove myself to you!"

Turning on her heel, she stormed toward the door, and cool regret leaked into his bloodstream. He shouldn't have let his own composure slip.

Harry stood and lunged after her.

"Wait-" His hand closed around her elbow just as she reached for the doorknob. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I just..."

He trailed off, unsure exactly of what he was trying to say. Ginny kept her back to him and he heard her pull in a shaky breath.

Errantly, like a stray thought, Harry observed just how petite she was. Ginny had always been quite short, but Harry also had a lingering malnourishment to him, so he'd never thought much of their difference in size.

Until now, when he stood next to her nearly a full head taller.

His fingers tightened around her arm in question. She turned enough that he could see the look on her face, and the unshed tears clinging to her lashes.

He let go in an instant, guilt and discomfort spearing through him like a lance.

"I'm sorry," he said again, taking a step back toward his hospital bed.

She swiped at her eyes in clear fury and Harry couldn't tell if it was directed at him or that fact that he'd seen her cry.

Maybe both?

"It's not an easy story to tell," she said eventually. "And I'm not getting into it when you've only been conscious again for a day and half."

Harry nodded, not really registering her words as much as the clear worry that shadowed her face.

A beat too late, he realized she was waiting for a response and he rushed, "Yeah, okay."

Ginny nodded once, her hard exterior replacing the momentary show of vulnerability. Harry stood watching her, scratching a loose thread in the sleeve of his patient robes and waiting for her to leave.

She didn't.

Instead, after a few moments of glaring at him, her shoulders slumped in time with her exhale and her face twisted into agony. He only had a split second warning before she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his ribs.

Harry stood quite stunned for a second, at a complete loss for what to do next.

Thankfully, Ginny didn't allow him to remain clueless. With her face buried in his chest, she choked out a muffled, "Hug me you idiot."

He muttered another quick apology and did as instructed.

Not seeming to mind that his hold around her shoulders was stiff, she clung to him without reservation as her breath hitched with more unshed tears.

Harry had not been the source of much comfort in his life, at least in the parts of his life he could still remember, but Ginny seemed to be receiving some kind of ease anyway. Little by little, he relaxed into it, into the feel of her tucked into his embrace, into her hands fisted in the robes at his back, and the scent of her wildflower hair.

Time stretched, and it could've been several minutes or several hours for all the attention he was paying the clock on the wall.

Ultimately, however, Ginny's hold did loosen and she sucked in a shuddering sigh as both their arms dropped back to their sides.

She stared up at him, her expression a bit sheepish, but also with a hint of something so unapologetic, he wondered if it wasn't so much her feelings in that moment as much as it was her constant state of being.

"I guess I'm not coping as well as I thought." She sniffed, wiping her eyes and shooting him a self deprecating grin.

Then Harry realized she was pretty.

No, that wasn't right. She'd always been rather pretty, but in a girlish, innocent type of way.

The Ginny that stood before him now was stunning. Shining copper hair cascaded down her shoulders in loose waves. Freckles dusted her cheeks and nose, etching constellations down to her neck and collarbones. While her bright amber eyes were lit from within by a fire that looked like it could burn the world down three times over if she had the inclination.

"Do-" Harry began in some lame attempt at making amends. "Do you want to stay? We don't have to talk!" he added quickly. "Or we could talk about something else? But I understand if you don't want to talk at all. Really, either works for me. Talking, or not talking, I mean-"

This startled a laugh out of her and Harry felt a deep rooted elation take hold at being the cause of such a thing.

"If you say 'talk' one more time," she said in reply, "I'm going to throw myself in the river."

Harry blinked. "What river?"

She breathed out a chuckle, but she couldn't hide the trace of sadness that pinched the corners of her eyes.

"Do you think we could..." she hesitated, and Harry noticed her twist a thin gold band around her finger. "Just for a little while longer?"

Harry's eyes blurred a bit at the edges, a new emotion gripping his lungs as he took in her hopeless expression.

He nodded, and with a relieved sigh, she folded herself into him once more. Prepared for it this time, he tucked his chin on the top of her head and let the swirling flowery scent of her engulf his senses.

He'd committed it to memory long before she let go.

[sneakyblinders]

urgent business. tommy shelby x reader

A/N: hi! new writer here for the peaky blinders! please enjoy this cheeky one shot. :) 

Warnings: fluff, language, sexual themes, light spice. not canon for how our fav gangster would behave but i like to think this is how tommy would be if he found the right woman.

“Don’t you just hate how they’re always all over each other?” your eldest son, Peter said, face twisted in disgust. You, Tommy and your four children were supposed to be having a family walk through the gardens, but Tommy had other ideas, leaving your four children trailing behind, his arm wrapped around your waist, telling you funny things that made you cackle with laughter. 

“No,” your second child, Katherine replied back. “I think it’s quite romantic.” she said, dreamily.  “What’s romantic mean?” Isabel, tied for youngest with her twin brother, William asked, her little legs barely able to keep up with her older siblings.  “Like--lovey dovey. You know what romantic is!” Katherine snapped at her.  “I’m only five.” Isabel shot back in response.  You turned around to see your children, and smiled at them, their father only looking at you. Only ever having eyes for you.  Tommy adored his children. He would walk through fire and in front of a bullet for any of them, but you: his wife, his beloved. You were the breath in his lungs. Fire in his belly. Apple of his eye. His one true love. The one who gave him strength to wake up every morning.  You pulled him out of the depths of his shell he had retreated into after the war. Made him remember who he was before. Helped calm his shattered nerves, shattered heart. You picked up the pieces and loved him back to life. And for that, he vowed he would spend the rest of his days loving, cherishing, ravishing and spoiling you to absolutely no end.  Tommy said something else you found funny and you turned back to him, playfully hitting him on the chest.  “Do you think they’ll have another baby?” William asked, cogs in his mind whirring. “I sure hope not. There’s too many of us already.” Peter sneered.  “I think another brother would be nice.” William said, a smile on his face.  Peter rolled his eyes.  “Children!” Tommy called behind him as they approached the barn. “Your mother and I are going to go for a ride. We’ll be back shortly. No playing around the ponds, am I understood?” he said, expression stern.  “Yes, father.” they all replied in unison.  “Good.” he smiled at them before turning his attention back to you. You had jogged ahead of him a little ways, giddy with his boyish promises of ravishing you in the horse stall like he used to when you were first married.  The children plopped down beneath an apple tree, a good distance away from the barn. Horses still frightened Isabel, despite their father’s attempts to dull her fear of them. He had tried riding with her and it had ended terribly; she screamed and cried, only spooking the horse. Tommy had to practically throw them both off the horse and tried to calm him down before throwing Isabel over his shoulder and walking the whole way back to the barn. 

“Why do we never go riding with them?” Katherine asked quizzically to her older brother.  “It’s their alone time, silly.” Peter responded sarcastically, plucking grass, blade by blade from the patch around him.  “They’re always alone.” She responded, a pout on her face.  “It’s because they can’t keep their hands to themselves.” Peter replied, a devious look on his face.  “Don’t speak that way about them! Father would have your head if he heard you say that.” Katherine responded. Isabel and William were preoccupied with trying to catch a frog.  “Can’t ever say anything poorly about mother,” Peter rolled his eyes. “He always yells when I do say something, even if she is wrong.” he said in disgust.  “Mother is rarely wrong, Peter.” Katherine told him.  “Yes, but sometimes, she is and he never lets me tell her my side of what I see. It bothers me.” Peter threw the blades of grass into the wind.  At that moment, their parents emerged on their fathers favorite horse, a huge black stallion with a white patch on his left side. Their parents both looked rather disheveled.  You rode in front of Tommy, his arms and legs caging you in, holding you tightly against him. Moments before, he had pushed you up against the stall door of the barn, hands needy as he tugged at the neckline of your blouse. “Thomas,” you said weakly, out of breath from his kisses against your lips, pulse point, collarbones. “Thomas, not when the children are so close.”  “My love,” he rasped, grabbing your backside. “We’ve done far worse with them far closer.”  “Tonight, you may have your way with me.” you promised him, kissing his nose.  He gave you a devious smirk before leading the horse out of his stall. 

A half hour later, you and Tommy returned. “Go see to the children while I put ‘em away.” He told you, helping you down from the horse.  You nodded, walking back towards your children. “Mother! Did you see if any of our flowers have bloomed yet?” Isabel asked. A few weeks ago you and your daughters had planted some wildflower seeds in a field close to where you keep the garden.  “They haven't bloomed yet, but I did see some small, green stems!” you told her excitedly.  “Where’s father?” Peter asked, standing up.  “Just putting the horse in his stall. He’ll be here soon.”  “Do you think he’d play ball with us today?” he asked.  “I’m not sure, son. I think he may need to go back to his office, but why don’t you ask him when he comes out?” you hated disappointing your children, but more often than not, Tommy had very few spare hours to spend with his children. Much to your dismay, most of their waking hours were spent with their tutors and the nanny. You and Tommy were often busy with business.  “Ask me what?” Tommy asked, coming up behind you and taking a hold of your hand.  “If you would play ball with us this afternoon.” Peter said.  Tommy looked at you nervously for a moment. “I don’t have anything pressing to attend to today. Why not!”  Peter and William cheered. “Can I play?” Isabel asked.  Peter rolled his eyes. “She can be on my team.” Tommy told his eldest, who started to walk back towards the house. 

When you got back to the house, Tommy, your sons and Isabel stayed outside to play while you and Katherine went back inside the house to get some lemonade, cheese and crackers for a snack. “Mother, do you love Daddy?” she asked.  You smiled to yourself. “Very much. What would make you ask such a question?”  “Just wondering.” she responded dreamily. 

That night, after all your children were safely tucked away in their beds, Tommy began working on the promise you had made him in the horse barn. “Gotta be quiet, love.” he rasped in your ear, his hand between your legs.  You bit back a moan. “Thomas,” you whined.  “Sh...” he chuckled, pushing your nightgown further up your hips.  You were in fact, not quiet that evening. Your husband was good at many things, and delivering pleasure filled nights was one of his favorite pastimes.  You woke up the next morning, sore between your legs, but an unmistakable glow about you. Tommy loved lying in bed with you, watching you gradually come to life in the mornings.  “Good morning, my love.” he whispered, pulling you into his chest.  “Good morning,” you yawned, curling into him.  “Sleep well, my queen?” he asked, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You mumbled a yes. He chuckled. “You seemed thoroughly exhausted by the time you did fall asleep.”  “I was.” you chuckled, cheeks flushing.  “Don’t be embarrassed,” he smiled down at you, heart swelling in his chest. “I loved every second.”  You heard what sounded like a stampede of footsteps, followed by the bedroom door being flung open, and the nanny screeching, “No, no, no!” Three of your children bounded in the room and launched themselves into bed with the two of you.  “Mr. and Mrs. Shelby, I am so sorry!” The nanny stammered, trying not to look at your almost bare forms, barely hidden by blankets and sheets.  You and Tommy laughed. You were glad you both had decided to slip some scraps of clothing on before you fell asleep the night before. “It’s no bother, Sara.” you chuckled. Tommy had Isabel and William pinned down, ticking both of them at the same time.  “They’re late for their lessons.” she fussed, cheeks flushing hot, seeing Tommy’s chest bare.  “That’s alright. They can work a little later into the afternoon today.” you told her as Katherine snuggled into your neck. “Good morning, my girl.” you cooed at her.  William and Isabel had managed to overpower their father, who was now being held down by both of them. “My love, help!” he laughed, playing into their game of play fighting as they tickled his stomach. You grinned at your eldest daughter.  “You reckon we ought to help Daddy?” you asked her.  “Take it like a man, father!” William laughed, causing Tommy to laugh harder than you’d heard him laugh in a long time.  “Okay, okay, okay, I surrender! I am waving the white flag!” Tommy said, breathlessly. “What do I have to do as your prisoner?”  Isabel and William looked at each other, a sneaky look on their faces. “We’d like chocolate biscuits for lunch.”  You gave him a smile. “Very well then. Small price to pay for my freedom.” he said. “Sara, see to it that they get chocolate biscuits for lunch, please.” he told the blushing maid, who was still frozen in place.  “Yes, sir, Mr. Shelby.” she said.  “Alright, children, let your mother and I get dressed. We’ll see you shortly.” Tommy told them, pressing a kiss to each of their heads. Sara ushered them out of the room quickly, closing the door behind them.  Tommy flopped back down on the bed, still trying to catch his breath. “That was fun.” he chuckled.  “Do you reckon they heard us last night?” you ask, eyeing him as he reached for a cigarette.  “You mean heard you?” he asked, chest rumbling with laughter.  “We need a bigger house.” you groan burying your face in his chest.  “You can have whatever you want, my love.”  “I’m not gonna ask ‘er!” you overheard your oldest daughter screech to your younger one.  “Fine, I’ll ask Daddy.” you heard William say as they walked down the hall to where you were sitting, sewing a quilt.  Thomas sat next to you on the loveseat, reading the paper.  “Daddy,” your youngest son said, standing in the doorway. “Daddy I have urgent business.” he said.  Tommy chuckled, setting the paper down in between the two of you. “Yes, son?”  “It’s--it’s mans business.” he said confidently.  “Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of your mother, son.” Tommy said sternly. “Your mother is as much a part of this business as I am.”  “Well,” William said, digging his little hands into his pockets. “Do you love Mother?” he asked.  “Of course I love your mother. Isn’t that obvious?” he chuckled.  “Well--we thought so but then last night there was a lot of shouting. And we figured she was upset at you because she kept shouting your name like she was upset with you. And sounded like she was crying.” he said. “We were--we were worried, that’s all, Daddy.”  All of the blood drained from your face, heart hammering with anticipation of how your husband would explain this one to your son, and daughters who were eavesdropping.  Tommy rubbed a hand over his face. “Son--”  “I tried to tell ‘em, Dad. Tried to tell ‘em they would understand when they were older.” Your eldest, Peter chimed in from behind the other three.  “Understand what, exactly, Peter?” your husband asked, eyes serious.  “The love between a husband and a wife.” Peter said matter-of-factly, shooting his dad a knowing look.  “Yes, Peter. Sometimes, the love between a husband and wife can be so--intense--” your husband paused, searching for a cigarette. “That it causes them to shout.”  You stifled a giggle, clearing your throat to distract yourself. “Mother, are you certain you’re alright?” Your youngest son asked.  “Of course, lovey. Your father is right. I love him very much.” you said, smiling gently at him.  “Right, well, go run along now, please.” Tommy said, sitting back in his spot on the loveseat.  The three youngest children scurried off, but your eldest remained. “Thank you, son.” Tommy sighed.  “Keep it down next time, will ya? I can only answer so many questions before they aren’t satisfied with what I tell ‘em.” Peter said, giving his father a stern look.  “Yes, Peter, I will do my best to contain myself from now on.”  “You too, Mother.” your son shook his finger at you.  “Careful how you speak to her.” Tommy warned.  “Yes, Sir, Mr. Shelby.” you smiled.  Peter shook his head, turning on his heels and walking out of the room.  You and Tommy shared an embarrassed look before chuckling to yourself. “Thank God for Peter. Fifteen going on fifty, eh?” he sighed.  “Thank God for Peter.” you agreed, smiling at your husband. 

[butmakeitgayblog]

may i— [starts vibrating in a very calm and collected way] may i ask how that spanking in cruel intentions go?

'Green?'

You stare at the message with a cheshire grin that you haven't been able to wipe off since 37th and Park.

The ride home left you just a little bit giddy because, good fucking god, you love this woman. Even more so when she's trying to play rough because she's kind of terrible at being demanding. With you, anyway. Even when she's out for blood she always lets you keep one hand securely on the reins, and something about that knowledge, that power she gives you, feels so fucking hot.

And truth be told you'd kinda known you were in trouble since the moment you'd woken up.

If you're being entirely honest with yourself, there were signs since this morning when she'd kissed you goodbye. Just sweet enough to completely and utterly fuck your makeup.

If you're being even more honest with yourself, which you personally loath to be, the idea that she was pissed off at you for your loss of control the night before enough to seek vengeance kind of got you off...

But yeah, the signs had been there. Her curt dismal of your offer to fuck her before work as she'd rolled out of bed to shower alone. The one word answers when you'd asked what she wanted to do for dinner. The resounding silence when you'd asked her how her meetings were going, and the follow up inquiring if she needed anything. She hadn't answered a single one. But she'd made sure you'd seen that she'd read them, and that sick little piece of you had hoped it'd all meant something.

Which is exactly why you practically squeak in delight as you type out your answer.

'Emerald'

'Chartreuse.'

'Hunter, Absinthe, Viridian, my love. And all the shades that make up your gorgeous, breathtaking eyes'

You practically cackle at the middle finger emoji she immediately sends back.

And send a quick pic of your tits cupped in a new bit of lace as a meager peace offering.

Her reply takes several moments, and you're about to ask if she'd started the fun without you, when the three dots mercifully pop up again.

'Keep that on.'

'Everything else can go.'

You've almost tossed your phone aside when her final text comes through.

'And, Darling? I suggest you don't test me on this one.'

Fuck, you really do love her.

It feels like an eternity before you hear the distinct click of her heels on the heated hardwood floor of your apartment. It's enough to kick your heartrate up a few million notches as you scoot down further into the mountain of pillows on your bed. You drape an arm above the fan of your hair and the other low on your belly, legs crossed oh-so-demurely at the ankles because you're a classy goddamn lady after all.

The double doors to your bedroom pop open with her usual grandiose flair and her face is all shades of a hot bitch on a mission.

She stops short at the sight of you. Eyes tracing the stretched out length of you. Mapping the landscape from your tits still cupped in your pretty new bra, to the starkly naked expanse of you the rest of the way down.

The way her gaze darkens makes your thighs squeeze together in an attempt to quell the sudden ache.

"Well. Don't you look comfy."

"Hey, baby." You twirl a lock of blonde hair innocently between your fingers and wriggle your toes against the sheets because you're just so happy to see her. "Have a nice day at work?"

Her eyes snap back up to your face.

You love it when she actively has to remind herself that she's supposed to be mad at you.

She doesn't answer, and that's okay. You weren't expecting one to begin with. Instead she walks over to the edge of the bed and waits, looming over you like a statue. And of course you play your part of the dutiful, doting wife. Slinking up onto your knees, fingers trailing along the lapels of her suit jacket until you have enough leverage to slip it free. You mindlessly toss it in a heap on the floor without ever breaking her gaze, smoothing your hands over her chest, up her neck, gathering her hair to lay over one shoulder.

"These look amazing on you," you whisper with a light snap of one of her suspenders, biting your lip around the pleased little smile that you really can't seem to help. "You know what they do to me."

That infuriating flick of her brow owns your ass by this point in your marriage. And what's worse, the little shit absolutely knows it.

She holds your eyes and thumbs off the suspenders one at a time to hang loose at her hips, deftly undoing the buttons of her shirt to pull the material free, and all you can do is watch. You quite literally have to swallow with the way your mouth sudden fills with saliva at the sight of her standing there like that. All wild curls and perfect little tits wrapped in black scraps of lace. Face far too hard, too commanding, too lethal (in your not at all humble opinion) for a woman with such pouty, fuckable lips.

Your eyes drop to those fingers that start undoing the belted buckle to her suit pants. She unzips them, lets them fall slack, only the generous curve of her hips and thighs managing to hold them up. And you can just make out... can just manage to see—

"Fuck, Lex." You lick your lips at the hint of perfectly manicured curls that peek out from beneath. "Seriously?"

Only your wife would dare to go pantieless in a three thousand dollar suit.

She hums and reaches out to card her fingers through your hair. "Unfortunately, someone made sure I was too sensitive to wear my usual set."

The accusing lilt of her words makes you smile.

Because... Guilty as charged.

You'd known as you'd sunk your teeth into the plumpness of her ass the night before that anything too tight against the skin would be out. You'd seen the suit she'd picked for the next day and lost her head with her despite it. Had let go and marked her up so pretty it'd been a wonder she could sit in her office chair at all. You sway a bit just remembering her moans. All her hisses and quiet yelps. The way she'd jumped at a few particularly punishing scrapes of your teeth before grinding her clit harder against the mattress. You'd left her ass so bruised and beautiful it truly was like an art piece.

It wasn't your fault she gets off on wearing skin-tight garters and lingerie under all of her fancy business suits.

Her hands slip down and cup the back of your neck as she steps in and roughly kisses the smirk off your face. All teeth and tongue and bites to your lips that taste just a but like a reprimand, but really they just leave you gasping in moans into her mouth. You hold her wrists as she kisses you like she's been thinking about it all, like she's pouring every bit of her anger and devotion into with filthly swipes of her tongue.

It's only when pulls back with a wet pop that you can manage to suck in a few desperate breathes.

"I love you." She whispers it against your lips so gently you feel it more than hear it. And you kind of adore that she can't help breaking character just to be soft for you.

You also know this is her way of giving you one final chance of backing out.

But after waiting for this for the better part of the afternoon? Seriously. Fuck that.

So you whisper your own words of devotion and flick your tongue at the little divot that splits her supple bottom lip, feeling the way her hands fist tighter in your hair in acceptance of your answer.

She kisses you again, something softer, entirely sweeter.

The way she leans up to peck your beauty mark before pulling away feels sinister.

And you know you're right when her hands start to drag you downward, guiding to lay on the bed, her touch firm and unyielding in how they tug at your scalp until you're scrambling to lay propped on your elbows. You're a half second away from asking what the hell it is that she's doing, when she removes one hand just to shove her pants down her legs a bit further.

Fuck.

You can smell her you're so close. Can scent the tangy richness of her arousal that clings to the swollen lips of her slit. It makes your head spin to know she's getting off on this as much as you are. You glance up to see her watching you. To see that severe line of her jaw hanging open as the fingers still threaded on your hair fist tighter.

You already knew what she going to do, but that certainly doesn't stop you from letting loose an obscene moan when guides your face right where she wants you. It's a bitch to hold eye contact in this position as she tilts her hips forward, watching you with eyes half-lidded with lust. You open for her obediently, letting her press her cunt to your lips. Lick forward and let her use you for her own selfish pleasure. Work to kiss and suck away the strings of wetness that coat the hood of her clit, as she gasps and rubs shamelessly against the lapping of your tongue.

The fingers in your hair clench with every roll of her hips as you lick into her and feel the way she drips down your chin. Her lips twitch with a smile as she watches you. Something predatory and dark as she fucks herself messily on your mouth. You do your best to match her rhythm, moving with every rock of her hips and feeling her clit pulse against the flick of your tongue. You let your moans rock through her and revel in the way her eyes flutter and roll, sucking harder as she pets your cheek with only her fingertips.

She lets her head tip back when you wrap your lips around her and suck. "That's my girl. Just like that."

You didn't think you were the one in this relationship with a praise kink, but after this... you kinda don't know...

Her breaths turn heavy and her stare is primal as she ruts and builds against your tongue. The thick swip of her eyeliner only adds to the feeling that you're being used by this woman gone feral. Because you love it when she just takes from you. Uses you however she wants.

When she reminds you exactly who owns you.

Because these are the glimpses of the Lexa that existed before you two were you two. The pieces of herself you'd spent years only getting to hear in obscene moans that bled through your bedroom walls. This is the Lexa that always fucked rough and left her conquests a needy, sweat soaked mess. This is the Lexa who takes what she wants, and doesn't give one single fuck, and you really don't get a chance to see this version of your wife nearly often enough.

And just when you feel her thighs start to quiver with how hard you're gonna make her come...

She yanks her hips away from your touch.

What... in the actual... fuck—

"Aw," she breathes in a valiant attempt at composure. The shake in her voice gives her away. "Did you honestly think it was going to be that easy?"

She leans down until she's eye-level with the world class scowl you're sending her way, and gives your hair gentle, reprimanding tug.

"After the shit you pulled last night? Making me come is the least of your worries."

She drops a peck your nose and releases you with a toothy twist of her grin, and she doesn't even spare you the courtesy of watching you petulantly swipe away the blot her chapstick. In fact, she doesn't pay any attention to you at all as she goes about giving herself a look in the mirror beside your table, only pausing long enough to run fingers through her hair in a half-hearted attempt to tame it.

It's a beautifully hopeless vain dream of hers that you hope she never, ever achieves. The wild mess of her hair is at least... one eighth? of the reason you love her.

You sigh and rest your chin in your palm.

Math never was your subject.

The click of her heels sound like gunshots as she wanders over to her side of the bed on trembling legs and casually pulls the third drawer open from the top. She ingores as you shift to follow her. Crawling on hands and knees like her lovesick puppy, and it doesn't escape your attention that her slick still sits heavy on your lips and chin.

You gladly breathe her scent in with every quickened breath.

You wait patiently and watch her rifle through the contents of her goodie drawer. Stopping to pick up that little riding crop that makes your heartbeat pick up, and roll it between those ungodly, beautiful fingers... only to gingerly set it aside with a dismissive hum.

The whine claws its way out of your throat before you can even realize you've fucked up.

Her head snaps to you at the sound, face hard and eyes wide. Blown pupils shining with a delicious threat of murder.

"Fucking excuse you?" she whispers, her voice the crack of a whip now.

It's all instinct that makes you make go soft. Supple. Submissive, in how you relax into the sheets and bare yourself to her completely. You stretch out flat on your belly and flick your hair back from your face, so innocent looking it has to be hilarious, and you almost purr at the way her eyes turn glassy as she looks at you.

Like you're once again her good girl. To have and to hold. Like you're her own little slice of everything sugar and spice, contained in one oh-so-pliant body.

"Nothing, baby." You wiggle your ass just for good measure. "Just ready for you to touch me."

And oh, losing that battle will most certainly be worth winning the war if her face is anything to go by. Because she melts soft around the edges. Lips curling into an angelic smile. Serene and eternally gentle, the sweet living picture of the kind of girl most would dream about taking home to their mother.

She breathes an exaggerated sigh of relief that would probably sound harmless to an amateur ear.

But you? You know your wife far better than that by now.

"That's exactly what I was hoping to hear."

She goes right back to her rummaging, shifting aside this and that, before letting out a triumph, "Ah, here we are," and producing a shiny new bottle of.... baby oil?

You really can't help the way you frown as she wiggles it in the air like it's some kind of special prize. When you'd spent the day picturing all of the potential twists in her plans for retribution, the one thing you certainly hadn't envisioned was...

Well.

That.

"You look disappointed. That hurts my feelings." She pops her bottom lip out in a frown despite looking entirely too pleased with herself for your comfort.

You're just about to reassure her with a lie that 'no! Of course you're not!', when she gracefully pushes down the pants that still cling to her thighs until they pool at her feet and allow her to step out.

Her fingers snap and then she shoos you to move with nothing more than a lazy flick of wrist. It's almost embarrassing how quickly you roll out of her way as she climbs onto the bed. She looks so prim and proper with her legs tucked neatly beneath herself, as though readying herself for prayer, with her heeled feet just hanging off of the bed as she settles on bended knees.

"Oh that's cute," she laughs when you immediately try to straddle her lap, stopping you dead in your tracks with a palm against your chest. All traces of niceness fall away from her face as you pout and consider giving in to your inner brat. "What did I say about testing me?"

Her words fall like a slap. Flat and demanding. Because in the distracting onslaught of that face and that hair and, god, that fucking body mixed with the sweet tangy taste of her slick still fresh on your tongue, you had, indeed, forgot.

You'd forgotten this was her vengeance.

Both her reward and her reprisal.

You'd forgotten this was her goddamn payback for letting you having quite so much fun.

Fuck.

Better women than you probably wouldn't feel quite so turned on from watching her take a second to get everything ready. The way she fluffs a pillow and places it beside her as a 'thoughtful' place for you to rest your head, makes you hate how your wife can manage to turn beating your ass into such a production.

(That's a lie. You fucking love it.)

You take the hand she offers to keep you steady when she motions her hand across her lap as though to say, "Well, go on then." Send her one final pout when she chastely kisses you, and you have to bite your lip to quell the groan that aches in your throat as you drape yourself across her legs.

It feels like Christmas and your birthday all rolled into one.

"See. That wasn't so hard, darling," she coos, her hand rubbing soothing circles on your lower back. Her fingers slip over the swell of your ass and gently kneed the skin there. "I don't know why you have to make things so difficult."

You snort and shoot her a look over your shoulder. "Oh like you're one to fucking talk."

She clicks her tongue in disapproval. "Attitude. If you can't shut that pretty little mouth of yours, I'll have to fill it with something else."

The pulse of arousal that rocks through you is enough to have you clenching around nothing. You know she feels the shiver that zips down your spine and the way your thighs squeeze to relieve the ache.

Not that you'd ever admit to any of it.

"Is that a threat?"

"More like a promise."

"Now who's the savage?"

Her smile's razor sharp when she blows you a kiss. "We are what we are."

You mourn the loss of her fingers rubbing circles over the lower dip of your back, but all your arguments die on your lips at the click of the bottle being opened. She doesn't waste any time shoving your head back forward, not letting you watch - only feel - when she tips the cool liquid over your skin. You jump at the chill of it which makes her laugh because she's a bitch, but a merciful one at least, thankfully. Because the next second her hands are back on you, warming the oil up as she spreads it across your skin. Massaging it over your ass, over and between the tops of your thighs, curling her palms around your hips to cover every inch. Her nails scrape gently across your back and ribs, leaving warm patterns of red in their wake, looping infinities that you'll hopefully be admiring tomorrow.

Your muscles relax until you're liquid. Until you're so loose and hazy under her touch that you think this wouldn't be an entirely bad way to nap.

She leans over your shoulder. Face nothing but angelic softness that radiates an distinct eerie calm.

Her eyes flit back and forth between yours as she watches you laze on her borrowed pillow, aand the way she looks at you with so much unfiltered love makes your heart pound.

"Take a deep breathe for me, darling."

Oh.

You guess she's ready to start now.

Your do as you're told and let your eyes fall closed, taking in a slow, deep pull of her perfume. The blow of her hand against the slick of your ass cheek makes you jump, makes you yelp as you strain against the fingers that suddenly wrap tight around your throat.

You know she's watching you closely in the quiet that follows. Know she's gauging every twist and twitch of your face. The second smack smarts more than the first, which somehow surpises you, and it pulls a filthy moan from deep in your chest.

This isn't your first time letting her spank you as "punishment" and with the luck of the devil, it certainly won't be your last. But, fuck, the oil adds an extra sting to every blow of her hand that you hadn't expected; it has writhing in her grasp within seconds. She aims her hits all over your ass. Never lets you know where the next one will be as she hums her little sounds of approval.

Lifting up just enough to turn your head to look back, you nearly come at the sight of her watching you. Seeing how her eyes sparkle, hooded and dark as they rove the length of you, fluttering as she lands another slap that makes your ass ripple.

The fingers around your throat squeeze in perfectly timed intervals with every spank. Stealing your breathe away when you rock forward on the particularly ruthless slaps. It's more possessive than anything, not even coming close to actually keeping you from breathing, but fuck all does it still manage to make your head spin whenever you feel her grip tighten. She bites her lips to swallow her moans. Chokes them down so she can hear your sounds better as she spanks more searing heat all over your ass and trembling thighs.

Your chest grows tight each time she takes a break. Each time she slows down just to let the ache linger. Letting her palm and fingers trace the battered skin that feels deliciously on fire. You squirm at the tickle and the burn of her touch, fighting the urge to rut shamelessly against the thighs under your waist, but she pins your hips firmly in place with queitly commanded, "Behave."

There's just something about the way Lexa always takes her time with you. The way she knows exactly what to do to make you shudder and break. It's in how she massages the reddened cheeks of your ass one at a time, as though this is how she always intends to worship you.

Another spank is hard enough that you feel it thrum all the way to your clit. It feels so good it has you biting her pillow to stifle your yell, but that just earns you another one. She wants to hear your every moan. Every yelp. Every needy sob of ecstasy. And god help you. You're weak for her. You've never been good at denying her anything.

Your entire body shivers when her touch trails down the cleft of your ass and slips through the mess between your thighs. "You're so wet," she breathes in a light, throaty rush as her fingers slide along the length of your slit. "I think you might be enjoying this a little too much."

Her fingers bump the base of your clit and you nearly buck right out of her grip. "Oh fuck, yes, baby."

You can practically feel her smile at that. "Who knew my wife was such a little slut."

Hearing such filth from Lexa's lips will never fail to make you needy, you're sure of it, because there's just something so goddamn addicting about it coming from such a normally prim and proper mouth. She's eloquent in her everyday life, often stoic to a fault, but when she's fucking you like this you love that all bets are off.

It makes your eyes roll back in your head because fuck yes you are her desperate little slut, and you really, really need her to remind you of that sometimes.

She rips another moan from your chest when her fingers pull back and slap the length of your slit. "I can feel you getting even wetter," she laughs and roughly massages away the sting. "So fucking predictable."

You're sure your face burns as red as your ass at the way you rut your hips back into the touch. "Fuck off, Lexa."

All the little smartass does is laugh at you and spreads you open just to watch you drip.

Sweat pools at the base of your back when you rise onto your elbows, feeling the hand at your neck slip down to shove aside your bra and cup your breast. She pinches your nipples until they're hard enough to ache, stopping only long enough to lick the pads of her fingers before tugging them in alternating strokes while you whimper.

The hand between your legs never stops moving. Only teases you until you feel like you might pop. Coaxing out more dribbles of your slick and dragging it down to brush feather-light circles around the very tip of your clit.

You give yourself over to her entirely, give her exactly what she wants, letting your moans flow out of you in obscene trails and hisses. You know she loves it when you're loud, always says she could come just from listening to you getting fucked, and right now you'll do anything to convince her that you deserve to get off.

You jog your hips on her next sweep up and nearly cry out when she takes pity on you, feeling the tips of those gorgeous fingers stroke against the tight ring of your entrance with purpose, like she understand exactly what you need. You spread your legs further in supplication. Press your tits further into her hand. Wiggle your ass and send her a smile to let her know you're ready to take whatever she's got planned for you next.

What you don't expect to feel is another spank cracked right across the flat of your ass, the blinding spark of pain catching you by surpise before she sinks two fingers deep inside you without a single word of warning.

The shock of being so full sends you toppling face first into the pillow, heat zapping along the skin of your ass cheeks as she fucks you from behind. You fist the sheets and clench around her fingers, helplessly suckling her thrusts in deepest, and you give up any hope of every breathing normal again. You moan so fucking loud each time her fingers bottom out you're sure the damn doorman can hear it.

Her fingers scissor and twist just to make you feel the stretch. Each time you start to feel the embers of your climax ignite she changes the rhythm, alternating between slow, smooth strokes and fucking you so roughly your legs shake. The oil and slick dripping out around her fingers makes the most delicious sounds each time she thrusts.

And you love knowing just how much this is getting her off. Love hearing all her coos of "Good girl" and how you're taking your punishment so well. Love hearing the wet slaps of her palm against your clit and feeling the vibrations carry you higher.

Because her spanks lack the fire from before, more sound and squeezing than anything at this point, as she works to wring out just as much pleasure from you as she did pain. Her moans meld with yours each time she sinks back in and feels your walls grip at her fingers to keep her seated inside. Mercifully she seems to hear you. Seems to understand how desperately you need this game to be over. Seems to twitch with the exact same need to come as you do.

'Fuckin' bottom...'

The thought comes and goes when you feel her teeth sink into the swell of your ass, her fingers curling over and over against that sweet little spot inside of you. Her thumb rubbing slippery circles over your clit and she tugs your nipple just right.

She has you coming around her fingers in seconds.

The pulses of your climax slams through you in pleasured waves as she strokes your inner walls all the way through it. Even the tight clamp of your thighs around her wrist doesn't stop her, doesn't change the way she curls her fingers and presses tight against your clit. Your walls ripple around her strokes. Spilling enough to feel it drip down your thighs. You come hard enough for it to almost be painful, but in the most delicious of ways, and you kind of think you may have blacked out for a minute.

The next thing you know you're laid flat on the bed, or at least that's what you think. You're fairly sure the lump of her legs is no longer half-holding you up on all fours. But you can't really feel any piece of your own body, save for the burning across your ass and thighs.

So, who the hell knows.

You drift in the haze of post-orgasm bliss. Boneless. Careless. Just a puddle of come and white noise. It takes several minutes for you to come back to your senses. Or maybe it's a year.

Again. Who the hell knows.

All you do know is that the next thing you feel is the tickle of her fingernails gently scraping patterns across the length of your shoulders. It's a feat to pry one eye open - the one not buried in the downy fluff of her pillow - just to see a galaxy of green staring back.

The sight makes your lips tug up into a lazy smile. Because now she's just your Lexa again.

"You gonna survive?"

You grunt and manage to flop onto your side. "Jury's still out."

That you earns you a pride sweetened kiss.

She hears your hiss at the feel of the bedsheets rubbing against your ass like they're made of sandpaper, but it only makes the little shit smile wider. Your pout does the trick, and then she's scooting as close as she can get, pressing a kiss to your forehead to soothe you. This whole marriage thing really is too easy.

"You need anything?" she asks in the queit aftermath, arm drapped over your waist, fingers still looping neverending circuits along your spine.

You're not one who ever needs much aftercare, always feeling content in the safety of your wife's arms, so you shake your head against the pillow to let her know, "Maybe later. Right now I'm okay."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm. I'm sure." You hum and nudge your leg between hers, because right now all you want is to feel closer. And when a thought suddenly occurs to you, you can't hell but chuckle and let your eyes blow wide. "You really went for it with the whole 'slut' thing this time."

Her teeth bite down on the plumpness of her bottom lip, and you don't think she could look any cuter than she does in this moment. She wiggles herself tighter against your chest. "I know."

"You're such a fiend."

"Aw, poor darling. Did it hurt your delicate feelings?"

"Yes," you say, and fail to hold back the ridiculous wattage of your smile. Because the truth is if you could rewind time and record it as your ringtone, you absolutely would. "Terribly. You should kiss it and make it all better."

She raises herself up to lean on an elbow and looks so lovingly down at. "Oh, Clarke... I'm not even close to finished with you yet."

Your hips cant at the silent promise for more punishment despite feeling so thoroughly spent. It thrills you every bit as much as it fills you with dread because you know she'll make good on it. The bruises that already litter your backside prove it. Your ass is on fire and your bones feel like they're made of gelatinous goo, and you know that look on her face means you're not going to be sitting right anytime soon.

She kisses your cheek, your chin, licks her way up your jaw, niddles filthy little promises to the lobe of your ear. Her hand nudges for you to roll onto your belly because she doesn't seem to understand that you're nothing but a puddle of come, oil, and goo. "Lexa."

"I think it's only fair, love," she hums, already painting strips of arousal along the curve of your hip. "What with all you put me through today, darling, you can't say I don't owe you. Unless... Unless you're saying you're tapping out? Because I could always just go and take care of myself—"

You laugh comes out more as a snort as you stop her from rolling away, just like she knew that you'd do. A sigh is all you have to brace yourself for the pain that you know is sure to follow, and hope she's still worked up enough to come with only a few punishing ruts.

Her smile can only be described as wolfish and predatory as you gasp out a breath when she pats your backside approvingly. The sting makes you bow into the bed and shoot her look of death.

"Has anyone ever told you you're a sadistic bitch?"

She shrugs and leans in to kiss the scowl from your lips, and straddles your ass because, after all, she owns you. "Once or twice. But you love me anyway."

God help you. You do.