#me: writes a dissertation

[active-mind-15]

It's been 9 years since I published Accidental Siblings!

I don't have anything super special planned. I just made a very quick doodle to commemorate the occasion. But if anyone who's read it wants to talk to me about it, I'll gladly yap for your sake.

To say a few words before I dip, though, this was a story born out of my wacky idea inspired by someone else's Akashi fanart, and somehow it grew into something that has a life of its own. Out of all the fanfics I've ever written, I probably feel the most joy when writing this one, and I am so glad I was able to find my way back to the fandom so I could keep writing.

Some of you are new to this fic, while some of you had shockingly known about and read my fic long before you knew who I was, and it's been a great pleasure interacting with you all and using your excitement to fuel my own. Thank you for sticking around even as I slowly update once every few months. Thank you for "yes, and?"-ing all my ideas. And thank you for every reblog, every submission, and every comment related to my story. I see and I read everything, and I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see any type of response.

Even though I know how I want the story to end, I don't know how long it will take to achieve that, so even if it takes me another year, or two, or three, I hope you all can be patient with me.

Happy 9 years to my favorite boys, and I hope to get back to this story soon!

Tag list:

@wsknbfanaccnt @sweijuro @japeneselunchtimerush @oopioop @bloodyspade0000 @akashirl @padmsanakin

(Message me if you wanna be part of my taglist for anything KNB fanart/fanfic related!)

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[chapollynh]

I finished DS9 and here's my first offering to the fandom.

The show is just SO GOOD!! I wanna talk about it so bad, so I will spam the tags quite a bit... My bad. Also, the people who said Bashir would get better - you were right, he became a lot more fun! Plus he's got a teddy bear, that's peak character right there.

[croquettish]

Claustrophobia as a Metaphor for Hans' Feelings for Henry

All right. I'm ready to go full tinfoil hat here but I have a theory, y'all. And there is a lot of evidence to back it up even if you decide I'm off my rocker for most of it:

I think Hans' claustrophobia exists in parallel to his feelings and, more importantly, how Hans feels about his feelings for Henry.

We first get the hint that Hans is claustrophobic when he and Henry get tossed into the dungeon at Trosky:

This is immediately post-divorce era. The boys haven't quite yet made up and Hans has gotten his first taste of what life is like without Henry. He did not care for it, and that realization comes alongside an incredibly unexpected vulnerability that Hans is not used to and has not had to deal with before.

The threat of losing Henry before was of course something he could conceive of before, most recently following Henry's ~terrible fall, but that would have been losing him in the abstract. If he lost Henry because of their fight, that would be (at least in his eyes), 100% his fault, at least in part because-- as you'll recall-- Henry was ready to make up literally the next morning. Earlier, even, if you watch the way he tries to look at Hans while Hans is stubbornly staring away as if to keep from being persuaded by Henry's puppy dog eyes.

The divorce era presented a different sort of loss, namely losing Henry not because of God's will, but because of his own stubborn pride. He got Henry back after, but the risk was there and it's only after getting him back that the full weight of what he almost lost hits him. At the beginning, when he's still panicking in the cell, he's still in what he perceives to be the proverbial doghouse, and he promptly follows this up by eating crow and apologizing to Henry for being an asshole.

Panic abated.

Until Henry is taken away from him, of course, and the walls truly start closing in. I have to really commend the creative direction of this scene in particular because that zoom out + transition to a Dutch angle is so fucking haunting in this scene while we watch Hans clearly trying not to have a full breakdown. It really induces the feeling of claustrophobia even if a person doesn't suffer from it themselves.

Henry was taken away from him, and as far as he knows, he might never see him again. No wonder the walls start closing in on him.

After that, things return to normal. No bad claustrophobia concerns for some time, incidentally. Henry is there, and his feelings regarding Henry are completely logical and rational. What a good friend Henry is!

The next time we see Hans' claustrophobia flare up is after Nebakov is hit by the Finger of God/bombard. Hans is trapped under a beam and is (understandably) freaking the fuck out. We also know from his dialogue later on that this scene magnified his claustrophobia even more than it was before.

What's notable, however, is that Henry at this point is barely conscious and isn't responding to Hans. As far as he knows, Henry isn't alive. That bombard could have easily killed any/all of them and tbh it's kind of a miracle that it didn't. Never mind that after his brief foray into consciousness, Henry is promptly hit by a full-length ceiling beam and (presumably, logically) knocked the fuck out. Meanwhile Hans is being crushed by his own fear of his feelings.

We obviously don't know what happens between the time of the tower's destruction and the scene in the cart after, but we do know that Henry was woken up at dawn to the commotion and by the time they get done being tortured, it's very late at night. So presumably Henry was out cold for a while there. Not only are the walls closing in on Hans here, they're literally crushing him. The fear of losing Henry is more present than ever.

And to make matters worse, he has no idea when or even if he's ever going to see Henry again. Henry has no value as a hostage. He could easily be simply disposed of without a second thought.

Henry could die, and it would, in Hans' eyes, be all his fault. At this point his feelings on the matter are guilt and a tremendous amount of self-pity (as we later learn from Brabant). As if to coincide with Hans being confronted with his feelings regarding Henry and the loss of him at this point and time, he ends up stuck in his gilded cage at Maleshov.

Once again, the walls are closing in.

We learn about how he felt about this only later when we chat with him at the Devil's Den:

The big problem with the room, Hans explains, was simply that he couldn't leave.

If we bear in mind the claustrophobia : confrontation of feelings metaphor here, this makes sense. Henry could be dead. He could have been tortured. He could still be in captivity. Hell, depending on how you play Henry being tortured, he even tells the torturer to just go ahead and fucking kill him because he's not talking. Henry was ready to die.

Hans knows Henry. Extremely well. He knows that Henry has some truly insane principles that he will stick to no matter what. There's no doubt in my mind that Hans probably knows there is a good chance that Henry doesn't make it through this. And he's confronted with all of these feelings over an extended period of time where he gets to sit and spin.

In light of that, I think it's interesting that he calls it a hole, because I would never use a word like that to describe what is effectively a fancy hotel room. But figuratively speaking, of course it's a hole for him. He's despairing. He needs Henry in his life and there's nothing he can do to get to him or to save him. He can't leave.

And then, of course, Henry shows up after all. No wonder Hans looks so unbelievably elated to see him. Of course, this is when Henry brings up the secret passageway. Hans is told that he can leave this enclosed space for another, even tighter enclosed space!

Now, if you pick the correct dialogue option here and tell him that you'll make it through, together, Hans of course discloses that the shit about how it's not ~chivalrous was bullshit and that it's because he might endanger him:

He just spent the last x amount of time (depending on how long you had Henry dilly-dallying around Kuttenberg and its environs) trapped here and steeped in his feelings regarding Henry. The fear of losing him is at the top of this list. To Hans, going into that passageway could also make him lose Henry. And it would be his fault. Again.

There's also something to be said here about close quarters. If we're to return here to the metaphors, then those close quarters force Hans to confront his feelings for Henry. Henry even says it himself back when they're in the Trosky dungeon together:

From there, it's on to Raborsch. Which is where things get very interesting.

Hans is told that he's going to be getting married. Much like in the Trosky dungeon, we get that zoom (albeit in the other direction this time) and then his POV. The way time seems to slow, the wobble of the camera... being something of a panic attack haver myself, this is exactly what it feels like. It is honestly impressive how well they mimic the feeling of it. And the way it's executed almost makes it look as though the room is shrinking.

This is my own personal headcanon that will probably not be shared by most people, but I think this is the moment that Hans realizes that he's in love with Henry. It would make sense for him to feel faint and like the walls are closing in on him in that moment.

It's also the worst possible moment for him to realize.

And then he proceeds to try and shove those feelings aside and repress them as best as possible. Nevermind that yet again Henry isn't there to help support him.

There was a wonderful post going around the other day about why Hans' responses to the romantic dialogue options Henry chooses sound so platonic. Because... yeah. He's holding that shit in TIGHT. He is on LOCKDOWN.

And we see that reflected in where he chooses to place himself physically after that point!!!!

After the announcement, Godwin can find him outside on the balcony getting absolutely hammered and talking to Rabbi Jehuda.

Even at the Devil's Den, where he's objectively free, he feels... crowded. Like the walls are closing in on him:

No fucking wonder. If he just realized that he's in love with Henry, then at this point in the story he's still trying real hard to repress that shit. Hans is erecting these walls himself as if he's trying to choke these feelings out of him. It also makes sense why he's constantly going out to get away from this confrontation of feelings as much as possible, riding out whenever he can:

Even in the group meeting with the Devil's gang, he says this:

Now it's the whole tavern! Anywhere that has walls and a roof is choking the life out of him! And of course here Henry is suddenly fucking everywhere.

When talking to him about the rides he goes on in the surrounding areas, this line of inquiry leads him to ask if he's fucking poaching again, and Hans comes back by saying this:

Allow me to just say.

And I cannot stress this enough.

He did not need to tell Henry that.

Henry tells him as much, but it feels fairly obvious that this was said with intent. It's like he's trying to reinforce his own heterosexuality to both him and Henry.

I would also like to highlight here that to Hans, it's always outside that this heterosexuality occurs. Even at the baths those hookups are merely in tents. The girl from Bohunowitz he found in (or near) a hunter's camp in the forest.

So we see a pretty direct correlation here. The inside of pretty much any building (or passageway) that also contains Henry or the Absence of Henry (in the abstract) is profoundly unsafe. This is the space where feelings always seem to happen and where Realizations™️ occur.

So! The outside is safe! Nothing can get him there, not even his feelings for Henry!

It's interesting, then, that Hans decides to invite Henry into that very space not long after:

Even in the space Hans uses as an escape (including as an escape from Henry), he still wants Henry there. Much as I discussed in this post, Hans views hunting with Henry in this scene as an escape into the past. Pre-betrothal, pre-feelings. A simpler time and a return to normalcy.

Naturally, he has to counteract Henry's presence in the Comphet space by bringing up as much heterosexuality as possible:

He brings this up regardless of how you respond.

Depending on your dialogue choices, you then learn that the girl from Bohunowitz is named Karolina. (Tbh if I didn't know better, I'd assume she was fucking made up seeing as she shares a name with the same girl he was running after in The Amorous Adventures of Bold Sir Hans Capon and there is no such girl to be found in Bohunowitz.)

Regardless of whether you chose to tease him or grumble about his womanizing, Henry makes it pretty clear that he doesn't want to hear about it. He says something similar as well earlier, when Hans says that the girl from Bohunowitz (who may or may not be made up) gave him a ~ride:

Hans quickly changes the subject, but Henry keeps them on topic and brings it up again, effectively asking him if these wenches are more important to him than he is:

(Tbh it's pretty fucking obvious from these interactions that Henry is already feeling quite a lot here and is looking for validation from Hans... which Hans then, perhaps unwittingly, provides. Maybe he just can't help himself. The truth slips through the cracks.)

Hans immediately reassures him, of course:

At which point it's Henry's turn to brush him off and put some distance between them again.

Distance which Hans immediately closes up again...

... only to freak out and instantly backpedal.

The assault on Maleshov really hammers this connection home, where even outside, he can't run from his fear.

In this case, because the Finger of God fires and hits the fortress walls.

Hans falls back and just... stares.

And just stays there for a while. For long enough, in fact, that Henry and Godwin have to come help him up.

Henry, in this instance, is both the problem and the solution: all Hans has to do is accept the fact that he's in love with him—with a little help from Henry.

And then we get to the Italian Job. Hooo boy.

It does not escape my attention that these two dialogue options come up in the same conversation, one of which of course leads to a romance choice:

Henry tries to insist on how much he enjoys Hans' company only for Hans to brush him off. Quite substantially. Like if I was Henry I'd be fucking gutted or at the very least baffled that my friend could be that obtuse when I'm over here dropping all these hints.

And then, of course, Hans promptly panics again when Henry brings up the underground passage and asks if he's joining him in going through it (almost as if those two bits of panic are related).

He even brings up societal judgment! But I think it's that last one that carries by far the most weight. He's still looking for any possible way out that he can find and asking for validation from Henry while he's doing it. Which is asking quite a lot of Henry imo.

Of course, then he suddenly doesn't have a choice anymore. Which is also where Hans actually comes to terms with his feelings. He has to go through the passageway. There's no choice. The walls are closing in and he has to accept it or he'll go insane if he keeps repressing any of this any longer. The narrative is practically telling him: you can't run from this anymore. His feelings for Henry are real and they're right in front of him and they're not this terrifying thing that he's been running from all this time.

Katherine tells Henry that Hans was trailing behind Godwin and her "like a dazed sheep" and that she hopes he didn't get lost.

The good news is that he didn't. Instead, quite the opposite happened: he finally found his way to accepting how he feels.

And when he does, he finds that he's no longer afraid of them. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, confronting his fears meant that they're not nearly as terrifying anymore.

Again, Henry asks if he's really all right, and Hans insists that he's never been better. No fucking wonder. This was a come-to-Jesus moment if ever I saw one.

And then he checks on Henry. All this time, he's been looking at his own fear, stuck in this, quite frankly, closet, and not thinking about how Henry has been feeling.

Even so, Henry is worried. At which point Hans gets to reassure him that, no, he's all right. In fact, the one holding him back and hurting him most in all of this has been none other than himself. If anything, Henry has been encouraging all this time. He does his job well. And that includes loving Hans.

Henry suggests that he overcame his fear, and Hans insists that no, that's not quite it.

Which makes sense. You don't just overcome your fears by facing them. Certainly not something like claustrophobia. It's also unlikely that an actual miracle occurred here. If you listen for his idle talk before or after this conversation, even Hans is absolutely baffled that he just... overcame his fear. Just like that.

To me, that suggests that this is about something else entirely, and not tight, enclosed spaces at all. He's always been afraid to face this part of himself.

In fact, if we recall what happened during their successful siege on Maleshov, Hans fell and couldn't recover without aid. Here, he fell and got himself up again because... it didn't kill him. It's okay to have—wait for it—fallen in love with Henry.

Is this a stretch? Maybe. But the fact that it happens twice makes me think that it was done with intent.

(If I wanted to bring in a real stretch here, I'd suggest that there's meaning behind the fact that Hans helps Henry up to his feet several times, first after his terrible fall at the beginning, while they're walking to Bozhena's, and again after he's on the floor getting kicked at the Semine wedding. If this was meant to be a hint as to where Henry realized that he was in love with Hans, having lost him first almost to death and then again to the divorce arc, it wouldn't surprise me tbh. He fell, and Hans was there to be his solution—the only difference is that Henry wouldn't have had a problem accepting it the way that Hans did. But, like I said, this one is a stretch.)

All of which brings us to the second confession.

Henry tried telling him this same exact thing before, after nearly losing him to the noose and their temporary split. Now he's saying this exact same thing again. Which feels... pointed and frankly intentional.

And this time, Hans responds in kind. He also cares about Henry. He's just really bad at showing it sometimes.

Because of course he's bad at it. He's spent the whole game thus far stuck in a closet of claustrophobia battling against his own internally homophobic demons.

But his success in a) escaping that closet and b) battling those demons brings us to the promised land.

Where they fuck in a (relatively, considering Hans' fear from before) small room and with Hans underneath Henry, the safest ceiling to come (down) on him of them all ♥

[breadandlottery]

[buckitweride]

Buddie primed me to watch this show. Seeing the gifs of The Gay Firefighter Show on my dash for years was the perfect foundation.

And then when Tommy kissed Buck?? LORDDD I couldn’t believe it. These showrunners made a fan favorite character canonically bisexual after 6 seasons?? On NETWORK TV no less????? It was over for me at that point. I knew I had to watch.

I binged seasons 1 through 8a ungodly fast (for me). I was rooting for buddie so hard out the gate- I could see why they were so beloved. But in the back of my mind, I was cataloguing all the little things we learned about Tommy in those early seasons. His flaws- he was highly susceptible to peer pressure and group think. He treated Chim and others extremely unfairly. He said and did bigoted things. But also- his good traits too. He could learn from his bad behavior and change his ways. He was very loyal- remember when Chim called him to bring that plane full of water and save the 118 in those early seasons? And we didn’t even see him on screen for that episode. He came through at the drop of a hat for Chim back then, and did it again during the cruise scenes in season 7.

I did not anticipate just how intensely I would become fond of and relate to Tommy when we began seeing more of him. I love how he treated Buck in the beginning. Cautious with Buck and himself right out the gate. But caring. Protective. Doting. Showered Buck in compliments and acts of service. Treated him better than any on screen partner ever had before.

I didn’t think it was possible after 6 seasons of intensely rooting for buddie for me to be just as happy at the thought of Buck with someone else. Tommy Kinard is truly That Bitch. I love how season 8 is going. The breakup made me love Tommy even more- he clearly fell for Buck harder than he expected and let self preservation win out as he tried to retreat. Only to jump at the first opportunity to get Buck back, without knowing yet if Buck really returned his feelings but taking the risk anyway 😭😭 someone stab me

Regardless, I just wanna end this ramble with saying how much I love Buddie and ship Buddie and will continue to love and ship it no matter what happens. Because a ship doesn’t need to be canon to be enjoyable.

But what we are seeing on our screen with Buck and Tommy?? It’s so important. It’s fantastic representation. It’s incredibly satisfying back and forth that scratches an itch while continually filling us with more anticipation. It’s everything and I cannot wait to see more 🤗

[authenticcadence18]

candace theme song take over is so cute but.

girl did candace against the universe/last day of summer even happen? seeing a candace who is GLEEFUL about getting her brothers in trouble is fun bc it maintains the status quo but also hurts a little 😭

the pnf revival is actually a commentary on how long it takes personal growth to stick. One day you’ve matured, the next you’ve fallen right back into old habits, especially when something (ex: the beginning of a season) reminds you of those old times 💀💀💀

[misc-obeyme]

since it's getting warmer and solomon doesn't like the heat... imagine him complaining until mc walks in wearing something revealing (from actually revealing clothes or just shorts or whatever) and he's like "nevermind i love summer yay!!!"

Okay so on the one hand, I wanna complain about how his problem with summer stems from the fact that his clothes are too modest and he's probably sweating buckets in them. Like maybe if he wore something more revealing, he'd cool down and find summer more enjoyable!

But then on the other hand, I can also see him being like, no this is actually why I dislike summer because now everybody is seeing MC in more revealing clothes and that's Not Okay.

Since we all know Solomon is Jealous.

He wouldn't straight out say it, though. He'd be like okay yes I do enjoy what I'm seeing, but knowing everybody else can see it too is making me crazy. However, I'm going to keep my mouth shut and smile instead~

But later... well he probably still won't admit it, but I'm sure MC will be able to tell 🤭

[catastrophiccerealkiller]

hello just came here to say i hate rhysand and cassian please die thank you for listening to my ted talk.

[allpromarlo]

i love avenstelle because of the complete contrast between their personalities. lemme explain

this is based on how i see (saw?) them both during the main penacony storyline and in interactions past that, so if anything is off it’s prob bc it’s been a while since i played it (and bc i don’t have aventurine so i can’t exactly listen to his lines)

anyways i think aventurine as a person is very much a performer. he puts on an act around everybody he meets; that’s how he keeps control, by pretending like he’s always a step ahead of whoever he’s talking to at the moment. business partners, but i presume also colleagues and people he considers his friends. he might be more open towards them but generally, he keeps up a very strong veneer that’s almost impossible to break (acheron’s line abt him basically confirms this; he’s got a strong facade but a weak soul).

and then there’s stelle, who’s never been anything other than honest her entire life (or at least since she woke up on herta space station). she doesn’t hesitate to tell people what she thinks, good or bad, and while she retains a high degree of emotional intelligence (argue with a WALL) she’s still just naturally inclined to be raw and honest with the people she meets. it’s not like she’s doing it on purpose, either—it’s just the way she is.

so what happens when you combine a man who’s become a master at putting up a front, and a woman who’s honest to a fault? you get a lot of unintentionally vulnerable moments between them.

i recently saw art by @chell-min (fantastic artist btw go check them out) where they have a bit of an awkward moment due to aventurine’s assumption that stelle only keeps him around bc of his riches/his gift giving. he plays it off as something natural, something he can laugh about, and it’s clear this is his way of trying to stay in control of the situation—but when stelle looks at him in confusion and disbelief and asks “you think i don’t want you around?” he freezes.

and like. yes. of course aventurine would think she only tolerates him for the things he can do with his money. of course he believes that she must think their relationship is pure business. he doesn’t take into consideration that she might actually want him around for him and not just his degree of “usefulness”, but when she answers, he’s confronted with that idea for the first time. stelle’s complete honesty and lack of filter makes him stop in his tracks, because someone just implied the direct opposite of what he’s been deluding himself into thinking his whole life.

and i think this is exactly the type of relationship they have initially. while all the gifts and trips to wherever are cool, i think the first leg of their relationship would be mostly stelle completely unraveling aventurine’s facade. there’s moments she backs off on her approach (i.e. they’re in public or in another situation that can’t use much awkwardness, which is always what follows when things like that happen) and there’s moments where she lets the filter go poof and watches aventurine grapple with the fact that someone truly, honestly and without shame, loves him. not for business, not for fun or casual, nothing. just him. him, and all his flaws and hidden doors. poor dude can hardly handle it, which is probably also why it gets to a point where he sort of just breaks down and either tells her about some of the many many things that plague him, or he lets her hold him in her arms while he feels her tremendous body heat (that he’s come to adore) and comes to terms with the fact that this beautiful, honest, unfiltered woman is just as badly in love with him as he is with her.

anyways idk what possessed me to write this but i’m just setting it free onto the world ok byeee

[carnivallsarchive]

the opening to my dissertation (it is meant to count for 90% of my grade)

[regulusrules]

To AJ Barner who wrote an entire PhD dissertation about fanfiction:

if you are here on tumblr, please i just want to talk (AND YOUR AO3 ACCOUNT)

From: "I Opened a Book and in I Strode": Fanfiction and Imaginative Reading

Edit: check the reblogs to see the series of me trying to find the fic

[jemiswumbo]

works in progress:

twitch streamer!luke x reader

- luke is a gamer that streams on twitch with his friends (percy, annabeth, etc etc). they don’t know he has a girlfriend as she wants to remain out of the public eye. during one stream luke acts a little off, making his friends and his chat suspicious (18+)

UPDATE: this is now complete! you can read it here

hockey player!luke x reader

these NHL playoffs got me feeling some type of way (go oilers go)

luke and reader go on a quest

reader’s godly parent sends her on a quest during the lightning thief. she takes luke with her (much to his dismay due to his previously failed quest And bc he’s already stolen the master bolt). fluff and angst and adventure and also maybe 18+ !!!!

[breadandlottery]

[sorrysamgirls]

me—a lesbian who repressed my identity for over a decade, who used to brag about hooking up with men and even maintained a long-term serious relationship with one, who sought validation from family and society through those encounters and experiences, who thought somehow doing all of that would make me “normal” and “valuable” and “good”—watching dean winchester do literally anything: yeah…that guy’s a fruit. someone should tell him

[cosmichorrorlesbians]

what's your dissertation about? you mentioned it in the siltcord and i'm really interested

oh my god hey I'm so happy you're interested! broad strokes because I've only been working on it for a few weeks but: the current theme is 'resistant landscapes' (both man-made and natural) in the later writing of Shirley Jackson!

Essentially, my main thread is that Jackson had two parallel strands to her work, which as far as I can tell began kind of interrelated but then diverged quite significantly? She's probably best known now for The Haunting of Hill House and to a lesser extent We Have Always Lived In The Castle, which are these. weird surreal psychological horror novels, engaging explicitly or implicitly with the supernatural, and centred around introspective, strange and sometimes deeply misanthropic female characters from isolated social units with dysfunctional, possessive relationships to each other.

Aaaaand then on the other hand she was known for being a 'happy housewife' who wrote these whimsical, quasi-autobiographical stories about all her children and how hopeless her husband was. These were popular too. Betty Friedan called her out in landmark 1963 feminist manifesto The Feminine Mystique for essentially spreading patriarchal propaganda.

The interrelation between the two is really jarring, because in one family is a source of horror and tragedy and in the other it's a source of, like... laundry. And Jackson's home life wasn't everything those stories made it out to be-- her marriage was unfaithful, her mother could probably be fairly called emotionally abusive, and as I talked about on the siltcord, she developed severe agoraphobia which often left her housebound.

So, yeah. My plan is to explore the depiction of families as constructed social units in dialogue with the environments they are constructed in in that work. Obviously a lot of that is relation of house to family, in the context of which Hill House is especially rewarding to consider, but I also want to look at relationships with nature and urban environments (especially in the context of settler colonialism and how that has had an enduring legacy in Jackson's particular part of New England), xenophobia (largely in regard to class, though racism and anti-Semitism are presences in her writing), domesticity and the idea of the housewife, and how horror relates to All Of This. The ideal of making a home within a hostile environment and of that environment turning on you, essentially.

I don't yet have particular areas of focus within that broad umbrella, but I might update with bits and pieces about it as I work? I don't really talk about academic stuff on here but I am very much Critical Literary Analysis Guy and I do also post relentlessly about haunted houses as a concept so if people would be interested in it maybe I will

anyway if you've read this far I recommend Horror in Architecture: The Reanimated Edition (2024) by Joshua Comaroff and Ong Ker-Shing which is a book about how horror movie tropes can be mirrored in built environments! I'm reading it right now and it's conceptually fascinating plus fairlyyy comprehensible by academic standards (if a little dense) if you, like me, are a Fool who knows nothing of architecture. very good also for getting to look at pictures of some of the most Fucked Up Buildings (affectionate) you've ever seen.