#me: has absolutely no writing & has done the bare minimum

[btsvt-bar]

Fuckboy!Wonwoo going for shy!reader since he assumes they’re a virgin, just to find out reader is an absolute freak and rides him until he passes out

wonwoo bias wrecked me so much after the follow again concerts that this just came to life on it’s own. i wrote the freshman experience based off of how it is on my country and i loved writing this, so i hope you enjoy it too! ♡

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・

fuckboy!wonwoo who’s your game design course sunbaenim. he contradicts all paradigms about nerds, because he’s hot as fuck.

fuckboy!wonwoo who spots you on the first day of classes. he sees you walking past him in your tiny skirt and "I ♡ games" tshirt and finds you adorable.

fuckboy!wonwoo who fights with other veterans to keep you as his freshman. he loses the argument to Nayeon, the course’s students’ president, and sulks for the rest of the day.

fuckboy!wonwoo who hits on you at the bar that night. everyone’s whispering about the two of you.

since Nayeon’s done her job and warned you before hand about Wonwoo’s reputation, you turn him down nicely because you hate the attention. of course, it only spurs him on.

fuckboy!wonwoo who tried to befriend you as a way of getting into your pants (well, he’s a fuckboy after all!).

a couple months after, once he realizes you’re actually really funny and outgoing when you feel comfortable enough, he finds himself enjoying the time you two spend together.

fuckboy!wonwoo who becomes obsessed with you. he convinces himself it’ll fade away once he fucks you. but then he finds himself getting so fucking jealous when he hears you calling Seungcheol your “oppa”. he knows Cheol has a thing for you — your innocent, virgin like persona is driving every male student wild. so he feels his blood boiling when you touch his hyung’s bicep as you smile sweetly and bat your eyelashes.

fuckboy!wonwoo who gets really annoyed when his friends mock him, claiming he lost his charms and won’t get to fuck you like he would do to any other girl.

"it’s up to Coups Hyung to pop her cherry." Jeonghan holds back a laugh as Wonwoo rolls his eyes.

Like hell we will! he thinks.

fuckboy!wonwoo who tries to sleep with someone else to get off and forget about you. but it doesn’t work and he gets more frustrated than before.

fuckboy!wonwoo who offers to help you with your class project and goes to your shared dorm room on a Saturday night. you open the door and he holds his breath when he sees your super princess peach cropped shirt.

"what? it’s my favorite game" you state, with a pout on your lips, when he stares for too long.

"oh, nothing. it’s a good one." he babbles, averting his eyes from your chest. your shirt was probably old, since he could see the outline of your nipples through the white fabric. he swallows nervously, trying to shake the image of your pebbled nipples off of his head.

fuckboy!wonwoo who gets distracted by your short sleeping shorts, since they do the bare minimum to cover you up.

"Nonu, are you listening?" you complain as you shake him. his eyes are out of focus when he meets your gaze. "earth to Nonu! what are you thinking about?"

fuckboy!wonwoo who bites his lower lip and stares at you.

"i’m thinking about you, cutie." he flirts. usually, you would blush and avert your eyes. so it’s a shocker for him when your Bambi eyes transform into a siren gaze.

“what about me?" you whisper, inching closer to his face. "is it about the ways you’d like to fuck me?" that’s all it takes for Wonwoo to take off his glasses and crash his lips into yours.

fuckboy!wonwoo who gets really excited and surprised when he finds out you’re not a virgin. in fact, you’re a total freak in bed. he feels a bit fooled since you got everyone believing you’re a pure angel, but he isn’t about to complain.

not when you’re jumping up and down on his dick with your pretty boobs on full display for him.

fuckboy!wonwoo who fucks up into you with all his might, thinking that he could die happy buried in your heat like that.

you’re riding him so good, your hips grinding against his and your hands clawing at his chest. your lips are red and swollen from kissing, your head’s thrown back in pleasure. you let out quiet ah-ah-ahs that enter Wonwoo’s ears and spin down his body directly to his dick.

fuckboy!wonwoo who nearly blows his load when you ask him to choke you.

his big hand presses on your throat with minimum force, but you demand more pressure and he complies.

fuckboy!wonwoo who circles your clit and sucks your nipples to help you cum. and when you do, he follows shortly after, emptying three months worth of blue balls in the condom and nearly passes out.

fuckboy!wonwoo who cuddles you and realizes he’s been tricked.

"i’m not complaining, but i thought you were a virgin."

you laugh, turning around to face him. "and the resident fuckboy gets played." pride bubbles in your chest. Wonwoo smiles at you, his brown eyes still a bit glazed over from his high.

"i liked being played" he admits with a shy smile.

fuckboy!wonwoo who refuses to go back to his own room. thank goodness your roommate is not coming back for the night.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・

© btsvt-bar, 2024

m.list ♡

[lunarmoves]

Can't stop thinking of the scenario where y/n leaves the Pizzaplex feeling like Sun honestly wanted them gone, and Sun becomes obsessed with finding them and also leads a robot apocalypse. What would happen if y/n caught wind that Sun is looking specifically for them and seeing all that has happened with the robots takes that as "Oh no, I thought he tolerated me but turns out he dislikes me so much he personally wants to get rid of me himself" so they try extra hard to go into hiding out of fear of what will happen if they're captured and taken to him?

ohhh my goddd nonnie u are so big brained!!!!!!! thank u for sending this in bc honestly i have also been thinking about this au for a while LMAO. if i was strong enough i would write a 50k fic spliced into two arcs (im thinking about it so hard u have no idea!!!!!!) for this but alas.... /stares at my incomplete wips/ i am not </3

(added in from future shay: what have u done nonnie this became so much longer than i'd intended, u basically get the whole fic outline here. cw for death and murder n stuff, typical fnaf. also spoilers for a fic i may or may not write?? like. this is me brainstorming and shoving all my ideas here lol. literally all of them)

okay so... let us set the stage a little bc i can't help myself. arc1 of this hypothetical fic would of course involve the pizzaplex where reader and sun get "closer" over the course of like a year. maybe more. well sun feels close to you. you, on the other hand, do not. why would you? this robot has been so passive aggressive with you and though it seems like he's nice enough to you (in comparison to the other humans), you really don't like how he treats you some days. what he says about humanity as a whole. you can't help it! yeah humanity sucks sometimes and robots were built to be everything that humans aren't, but he can't generalize in the way that he does at times and forget that these are people!! with feelings and ambitions and dreams! 'superiority complex' doesn't even begin to cover his issues, gahh!!

(the fact that he's been treated like absolute shit, working in the daycare does not help whatsoever. the mean parents, the kids who don't listen to him, the staff tht does the bare minimum on him in terms of maintenance because he's the daycare robot and not one of the glamrocks. it grinds his gears)

i imagine the reader in this fic believes that robots are indeed sentient, which is why you try to get sun to recognize and acknowledge his own emotions/feelings (which he vehemently denies, even tho there are literal riots happening worldwide regarding robot sentience. he's lying to you. you know he's lying to you. but you don't know why he denies it so much. ((maybe this is the point where he catches feels for reader and is denying the fact tht he's crushing on a human lol)). the government is not happy about these uprisings, of course, and every day the news shows more and more chaos unfolding as robots get tired of the conditions they are in). but eventually, things boil over and you end up leaving. that, and it's becoming more dangerous, living in this area, with everything going on. maybe your parents are trying to convince you to move elsewhere. maybe there are other external circumstances. in any case, you leave. there is nothing at the pizzaplex for you anymore, sun has made that clear.

(and moon... well, moon has been quiet lately. too quiet. you don't know what happened to him, he won't even look at you when you manage to get some time with him when the lights go out after your shift)

((i imagine this is maybe around when they get infected. that makes everything even more complicated. if you thought sun was obsessive before, then that's nothing compared to a glitched out sun unforch. it just amplifies the more questionable aspects of his entire personality. and like, he doesn't even have vanny/afton commanding him bc as soon as he gets the virus? he kills both of them))

(((also im imagining moon and sun don't really get along in this au bc they have differing ideals/views. like to balance out sun's unhingedness, moon is significantly quieter and softer and deffo does not believe in robot superiority lol. if anything, maybe he has an inferiority complex pfft poor guy. doesn't help when he gets glitchtrap'd and wakes up with blood on his hands)))

okay so you leave, right? and a few weeks later, you see the news on your phone--the pizzaplex has burned down. you don't know how to feel about it. sure you've been friendly to the glamrocks and stuff, but you find yourself thinking about sun and moon. there's a mention of one death--a blond woman, who died from her neck snapping before the flames could reach her. you don't want to think of the implications of that. there's no mention of the glamrocks--of sun or moon or the dj. you're not sure if the news anchors are just excluding robots, but either way, it makes your heart sink. you take a moment to mourn. bc at the end of the day.... you did know sun for over a year.

not even a few days after that, there is a robot uprising in your city. it's... bad. you're at home, watching the news with your apartment half in shambles from your plan on moving back home with your parents. in my head, since utah is home to fazco (a megacorporation with hands in the development of a LOT of the robots seen in society), it also means it's a hotspot for robot riots and the like. fazco vehemently denies robot sentience because it would mean a loss of money in acknowledging their workers are people yk how it is. as such, there are maany protests and riots and stuff, from both humans and robots. it's a shitshow.

ANYWAYS you're at home and it becomes evidently clear that you need to get out of dodge as soon as you can. they were killing people. the robots, built by human hands, were killing. it brings about absolute chaos. in prior riots/protests there were never deaths. injuries, maybe, but never deaths. people start evacuating like crazy.

you catch a glimpse on the news that the violent uprising in utah caused a chainlink reaction to extend all across the nation. maybe even the world. you're scrambling all over your apartment with the tv on the news, doing your best to pack up the essentials. there's live coverage on the tv from a helicopter somewhere not far from your apartment complex. and you're able to catch a glimpse of bright rays and a cheshire, white smile on the screen--leading what looks like an army of robots--before it cuts out.

you don't even know what to think. the image is seared into your eyes, the blood that painted yellow hands and a crescent face.

you get the hell out of your apartment and book it as far as you can. communications are down everywhere--the thing about robots? they know exactly where to hit humans to cause a catastrophe. as such, your phone is useless. they've hijacked the satellites and took down certain powergrids. having a phone on you would only be a detriment, so you ditch it. there's only you now. you must survive.

and then there's a bit of a time skip to start arc2. in this duration, you're long gone from that city in utah, living with a small survival group. if you've read my summer camp au fic, this is where i'll bring in "OCs" such as vincent (a play on 2015 vincent) and jeremy (fitzgerald or the VR guy tht used to work for fazco), maybe michael if i really wanna au fudge everything. you all live day by day, trying to run away from the robots.

at this point, a majority of humanity has either been killed or has gone into hiding. i think while the robots don't want to eradicate humanity completely (after all, there are certain tasks that need humans n such), they definitely want to make them a minority. they are a little more than halfway through their goal.

it's very difficult to evade robot surveillance. there are drones everywhere. all cameras are hijacked. i'm imagining a kind of cyberpunk type world. you have EMPs and tasers that you can use to disable electronics, but they're made from scraps you and your group scavenged. and upon immediately using one, all robots in the area are informed of your presence, so they can only be used in rare and desperate circumstances. they are all connected to the same network, which means they can have a hive mind, at times. life is scary, in this regard. big brother is watching.

you've heard rumors of a human base underground somewhere--a place safe from robots with the proper defenses. accepting to any and all. the only tough thing was finding the damn place, but you've seen the clues in graffiti and hidden messages designed to trick AI (think: captcha). you and your group just wants to get to that damn base and stop living in fear all the time, being out in the open or crawling as stealthily as you can through empty streets.

the one thing sun used to emphasize to you? the way robots are more efficient. and that they are. you see it in the way a new metropolis shines like a beacon on the horizon. they've already built their own kingdom of sorts. and their ruler? you grimace as you think about sharp rays and wide, white eyes. you haven't seen him in ages--not since that initial broadcast. but you hear the whispered rumors and news. how he has created a robot haven--the celestial city. how he scorns humans. you blame yourself sometimes. maybe if you had stayed and tried harder to convince sun that humans aren't all too bad, none of this would have happened.

(a memory comes to you--of your time back at the pizzaplex. of you sitting atop the security desk and kicking your feet lightly as you entertain sun's... uniqueness. ambitions--that you did not take as seriously as you should have.

"okay, i'll bite," you said in amusement. "what would a robot takeover look like for you?"

sun cocked his head, hands fidgeting with a plush. "hmm. well. i suppose it would be a very quick thing, for one. hit hard and fast." he squeezed the plush. "take down comms. strike power sources. go for those in power first, then the weaker ones." he gave you a shrug and an unreadable smile. "from then on, carnage."

and you--silly silly you--just rolled your damn eyes at him like he was joking around with you and asked him about more hypotheticals. picking his brain, in a way. it was exact with how it played out in real time. you thought about this often, at the dead of night.

it was all your fucking fault)

and then, one day, the scout/informant of your little group--jeremy probably--comes back with some news. the celestial ruler--sun--has been taking human hostages. it's been happening for a while now, apparently, almost nearly as long as the uprising. jeremy pulls out some hazy photographs he's gotten from some of the other humans he exchanges info with. you look at them, the hostages.

after a minute or two of staring, you realize something.

they all sort of resemble you.

there's a clear pattern actually. your hair or your face shape or your eyes or your smile. some combination of them. but never actually you. you ask jeremy what it all means, and he hesitatingly says that it looks like sun is looking for someone. it's clear to everyone who it is as they all stare at you.

and you? you're panicking.

he's looking specifically for you. just you. you've never heard of the robots taking hostages, and you have no idea what he's doing with them, but it can't be anything good. especially since he keeps taking more and more of your lookalikes hostage. you think back to your time at the pizzaplex--so distant, now, that it almost feels like a dream.

he wants to kill you himself. you're sure of it.

now you're trying even harder to get to that underground base. you go completely dark, doing your best to evade detection--and i imagine there are quite a few close calls, definitely a few instances where your face is captured on camera or you have to use an EMP. until finally, you and your group manage to integrate into the underground human base.

'base' doesn't even properly describe it. it's a whole city, actually, with unsteady houses made of wood and cloth. it's the perfect place to hide.

you spend a while down there, occasionally venturing up when you're allowed to by the guards (it's rare, very very rare). the city has strict rules that must be followed to ensure it's not found. the ones in charge are constantly looking for news on the actions of sun and the majority of robots. they don't really keep the citizens updated--it would cause too much chaos, you think. but you hear whispers now and then. (the robots have expanded territory. france is completely gone. australia's still holding out. most of china and india have been taken over and their factories have all been transformed to mass produce more robots)

for the first time in a while, you think you can find peace down here. it was only inevitable that this would be ruined one day.

you wake up to chaos.

the underground is under siege. the robots have found you.

you run out of your makeshift house and have to dodge crumbling stone. explosions rock through the air, sending dust and debris everywhere. you're scared for your life--your only instinct is to run run run get out it's not safe! you don't know where your friends are. you don't know if they're alive. for a moment, you hesitate. and then you're bolting to try to find them. they had their own little homes not too far from you. you can find them. no man left behind.

you can hear bullets and the hum of energy everywhere. people are screaming and crying all around you. you see people dying before your eyes, impaled by beams of light or stray bullets. it's all you can do to dodge and weave towards vincent's house.

but before you can get there, something tackles you from behind. you roll across dirt, and find yourself pinned under a robot--a staffbot from the pizzaplex, you realize. except it looks--different. more high tech.

it seems to scan your face. and just before it can finish, you manage to grab a stray metal rod laying on the ground next to you and stab it right through the eye.

you scramble, getting as far away as you can from the thing. but-- you run right into the path of a crumbling building. it buries you halfway under thick wood, and something sears its way through your leg. you're trapped. you're trapped and there's no one around to help you.

and just when you're on the brink of passing out, you see him. standing in front of you a ways away. those same star-patterned pants and dangling cap. but he's different somehow, he looks different. you can't place it, your vision blurring into red and purple.

moon looks at you as though you are the last thing he wants to see. and then you faint.

when you wake up, you're in a bedroom. your leg is in a cast and there are crutches near your bed.

it's... the nicest room you've seen in a while. the windows are covered by thick curtains that let in a sliver of light. you have to blink a bit to let your eyes adjust. and then you get up, noticing you aren't in the same ratty, dirty clothes you'd been wearing for forever.

you try the door first. it's locked. there's a sinking sensation in your gut that gets stronger and stronger the closer you get to the window. and when you pull open the curtains, you gasp at the towering buildings, bright green and blue light, and flying drones.

you are in the middle of the celestial city.

you panic hard. and then you notice the camera in the corner of the room, looking right at you. big brother is definitely watching. you give him the bird.

you wallow around in the bedroom for a bit. you are hungry, you cannot deny. and there is only a glass of water for you set on your nightstand.

but eventually, the door opens of its own accord. an automatic lock, you suppose. and it swings open into a dark hall. you do not have any other choice but to follow. it's clear you are being summoned.

there are no places for you to run or hide. you travel down a long hallway and end up in a wide room with someone tall standing at the far end by the window. it's a scene straight out of a movie. you are not impressed.

the figure turns around, and you do a double take. it's sun--yet it's not.

he looks different. taller, stronger. with clawed fingers and rays that look deadly to the touch. his smile is sharper, his torso has all sorts of compartments and attachments. he was modded to all hell, just like that staffbot you saw earlier. it had to have been self inflicted.

he only stares at you, really. white eyes rake up and down your form, taking you in. you don't say a word, only look back at him. and then you flinch slightly when someone emerges from the shadows next to sun.

it's... moon. looking just as modded as sun. you're confused. when did they become separate? but honestly, you think it makes sense. they never really liked each other. it makes sense that sun would want to be separated as soon as possible--and they had the resources to do so. you just wonder why they're still working together. comfort in the familiarity, maybe.

moon doesn't meet your eye. you notice his is different--the red tinged with purple. sun doesn't look away from you. it makes you uneasy.

you don't know why you're here, but one thing's clear: you are not getting out of here anytime soon.

i'm honestly not sure how to end things, but in my head there's a lot of reconciliation that needs to happen. obv sun is so incredibly down bad for you at this point (and moon), but there are many issues that need to be tackled first.

sun doesn't understand why you're so wary around him. moon keeps avoiding you at every turn. there's still an entire revolution and remaking of society happening. you are constantly being watched by cameras in the building. i can't picture things as returning to normal--post uprising--but i also don't know how to end things on a happy note LOL, though i do want to instead of killing off reader or sun/moon. maybe it'll be a bittersweet sort of end, maybe reader finally gets through to sun. maybe eclipse will make an appearance (jk, idk how i would even do that, this might be an eclipse-less fic).

in any case, the next bit would be a lot of sun and reader connecting better than they had in the pizzaplex, a lot of sun trying to understand humans better cuz he's trying to court you-- and has long come to accept his emotions tbh. tho he's still kind of mad at you for leaving, so there needs to be a conversation of sorts about why you left before sun can really begin to understand how he appears to you. idk!

i also feel like moon isnt nearly fleshed out as sun is?? i dunno, i might have to think some more about him. i just know he's terrified of hurting you, esp with him still having the virus (and sun, but he has better control of it). gonna be a lot of work on your part to get him to be comfortable around you again. also, he doesn't like the fact that society has come to this. he lowkey resents sun, but he doesn't have anyone else. what's a bot to do?

also there may be a scene where your survival group tries to save you lol, maybe with an army that tries to seize control of the celestial city. which may work. this would be a bad end, i think, cuz there's no way sun's getting out of that alive.

anyways yeah. i rambled enough LMAOO whoopsie! i rly just regurgitated all the thoughts in my head. no promises that this will be a fic, i've got enough on my plate as is LOL

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

v. i gave my blood, sweat and tears for this

— the one where both of you have given everything to be where you are.

warnings: misogyny, sexual harassment, this is how monaco went btw i accept no criticism. barely proofread, sorry. 3.7k words (+ article, podcast excerpts)

masterlist ✢ next

'Have we let y/n y/ln get away with way too much?'

By Alan Gomez

Yes folks, it might be our own fault, we have created a monster in the form y/n y/ln. Mediocre actress at best and with an even worse personality, if the latest events are any indication.

But how could we let this happen? Come on, we're smarter than this!

The thing is, y/n brainwashed us into believing that her doe-eyed, no-brain characters were actually her. Don't beat yourselves up over this too much, even I was a victim of those pretty eyes. But now that the blindfold has fallen, we have come to realize we have let y/n get away with everything!

You might know y/n from Supercut, the romantic comedy that took the world by storm in 2019, where she starred alongside Aidan Kim and it lead to these two becoming one of the general public’s most cherished couples. At least until two months ago, when their breakup was announced via Inside Out. Although there haven’t been any official statements, given the circumstances, we believe it was the actress who broke it off with Kim.

RELATED:

→ Aidan Kim and friends at Cannes Film Festival

→ Y/N supports alleged boyfriend at charity football match

But whether she’s dating a new guy now or not, why do we keep letting her do whatever she wants?

How did she actually brainwash us into thinking she’s anything close to an “it girl”? After Supercut, all she’s done is the absolute bare minimum to keep people talking about her, it’s all RomComs and no effort. I didn’t want to be that person, and you have to believe me on this, but Aidan Kim made her.

Let’s remember Aidan built his career from the ground as a member of Star-5 the early 2010’s boyband that split in 2018. He was the ‘someone’ in the relationship. How can people even compare having the hit song “Round and Round” in your résumé to being in Scream (Netflix) and The Mist (again, Netflix)?

Aidan made us like her and the writers of Parisian Valentine, The Hating Game and Last Night In Love, did her a HUGE favor by consolidating her as the “Queen of RomComs” by what standard? Well, don’t ask me.

The truth is, we accepted y/n into our hearts and homes, thanks to Aidan Kim and an unbelievable amount of luck, and we haven’t held her accountable for anything ever.

Here’s what I’m talking about, if you’re still wondering what the point of this article is, click on every link to be taken to the whole context, you’ll thank me later:

❍Y/N yells at paparazzi to leave her alone as she walks around Beverly Hills with Victoria Presley.

❍ Y/N praises Taylor Swift while tearing down several male artists for writing songs about their personal experiences.

❍ Y/N says in interview with ELLE that not every movie has to be “profound”.

And just for fun:

❍ A collection of Y/N’s disastrous looks.

It’s time we realize y/n y/ln is talentless, has a horrible personality and feigns innocence she certainly doesn’t have. You will NOT continue to take advantage of us, y/n! It’s all over for you, so I’m glad you’re dropping your pathetic career to become a WAG. #Y/NIsOverParty.

↺ FROM ❛WE WATCH❜ PODCAST

Paul Byrnes: Can y/n really do another role now, after all she’s known for are romantic comedies?

Anna Sanchez: well, I really liked her in The Mist, she did great as character in a horror it was—

Paul Byrnes: No one cares about The Mist, Anna, just you.

Anna Sanchez: all I’m saying is she’s a good actress, she can do other things. That was your question, Paul.

Paul Byrnes: Well, in my opinion she can't and that's it.

↺ FROM ❛IT TALK❜ PODCAST

Greg Zane: Let's talk y/n y/ln and her fashion choices now that she's an F1 WAG. What do we think?

Riley Green: She's a what now? How long has it been since she broke up with Aidan Kim?

Martha Vincent: I think she's looking great, I just wish she'd let go of the ugly caps.

Riley Green: No seriously, how long did she stay single?

Greg Zane: I agree Martha, but caps are big in Formula 1, nothing we can do about that. I'm wondering if she'll go for a more glamorous look in Monaco.

Riley Green: guys? hello?

Martha Vincent: Oh Riley, we're not talking about her love life, let it go.

↺ FROM ❛HOLLYWOOD VIBES❜ PODCAST

Pauline Oscar: [cont.] I'm just so curious about the reason of their breakup, why hasn't anyone said anything?! It must be juicy.

Brenda Yim: I feel like it's bad for one of them, most likely y/n. Hello, can anyone offer one of their friends some money? Just like old times!

Pauline Oscar: [laughs] Definitely! We need to know! Can it get any worse than the fact that she's already with another guy? What's his name? Charles Le what? She soooo cheated.

liked by charles_leclerc, vicpresley, mati.bassi, carlossainz55 and others.

ynfreesia UM THE LIKES?

xxynbaby it's "monaco" of course

aidanluvs you don't even have the decency to pretend like you're alone? fuck you

ynredstar i cannot defend you if you pull this shit girl

mati.bassi great view for breakfast with my best girl!💕

ynredstar oh ynredstar nevermind thanks mati ↳ feels4aidan don't be so gullible she's obviously covering up for them

THE COMMENTS FOR THIS POST ARE DISABLED.

May 27th, Montecarlo, Monaco.

THERE are tears in your eyes, and despite your best efforts not to let them run down your cheeks, it's futile. The worst part is that you're the one doing this to yourself. There's zero need to read 'articles' from pseudo journalists on how a man gave you your career and how you're tossing it into the trash for another. Not to mention the cascade of curses you received for a picture on instagram, where everyone thought you were with the other man.

Has your life really come to this? People don't talk about you unless a guy is involved? You loathe it. Your career was never about Aidan, and it's not about Charles now. Who only makes things worse every time he shows up and yet you can't manage to bring it up to him.

It's embarrassing. You don't want to walk up to him during whatever free time he has in a hectic weekend, and ask him if it really doesn't annoy him everything the press has made up about the two of you, or if he's really that unbothered by being paired up with you in the wildest scenarios, and tell him that he can shut them down whenever he feels like it (you wish he would already), and let him know you won't mind whatever he says about not being involved with you.

But no, Mr. Leclerc is busy giving unclear answers at interviews and liking your instagram posts, as if this isn't already a wildfire.

You put down your phone and pick it back up almost immediately, Vic's ringtone fills your hotel room and you wipe away your tears before answering her FaceTime request.

"Were you crying?" it's the first thing she says, moving her sunglasses to the top of her head. There's a lot of noise in the background and you can barely make the words out, but she comes so close to the phone that all you can see is the tip of her nose. "Why were you crying?"

"It's nothing, Vic. What's up?" you sigh, rubbing your eyes only makes things worse but you don't want to worry about that now.

"I just got to Monaco, babe," the phone is at a safe distance from her nostrils again and you can see around her, the airport where you landed a few days ago. "I'm with my parents," she rolls her eyes, lowering her voice. "But if you could get me into the Ferrari Suite I can hang out with you tomorrow!"

They allowed you one guest and the spot has already been taken by Mati, so there really isn't much you can do in terms of getting her into the Ferrari Suite. "Well, let me see what I can do, okay?"

"Okay," she sounds unsure, you know Vic enough to be sure she expected a different answer. "I mean my parents have Lounge privileges but it's more fun to be with you."

Had she said something about coming to Monaco you might have been able to do something, but as far as you were concerned she planned to stay in France all week, enjoying Cannes and mingling.

"I'll do my best Vic, but you know how they are," you exhale heavily, "Plus it's a crazy-ass weekend."

"Isn't it always?" she's yawning now, "We can meet for dinner later and you can tell me what's up alright? Being with my parents is so boring."

You shake your head, "Be nice, they just want to hang out with you. I'll call you after Quali," you check the clock on top of the nightstand, it's 10 am. You have to get ready for FP3, which you don't care about attending or not but Stuart Schaffer asked to see you, so you haven't got much of a choice.

"Sure babes, love you." Vic pulls her sunglasses down again and blows a kiss to the screen.

"Love you too," it's your turn to yawn as you tap the hang up button.

You look at the special edition Ferrari cap you received as a gift yesterday on top of your suitcase and immediately discard the idea of wearing it. No caps. And then the wave of disgust invades you, are you seriously going to do what some random man said on a podcast you came across by accident?

The answer is yes, unfortunately.

─────────

You would rip your leg off if you could, at least it would mean you’d be able to get out of this chair and away from Stuart. But his palm resting on top of your knee feels like a death grip and you’re frankly afraid to move in case it goes further up.

Mati decided to skip FP3 and you’re really hoping she’ll be on time for Quali because you have no one else to talk to, Stuart is just parading you around again and keeping you way too close for comfort because he’s in a great mood since both Ferraris maintained their top spots and things are looking hopeful for Qualifying.

You know it’s your chance to ask if you can bring Victoria around tomorrow, and you know the answer will be yes, but you don’t. You don’t want to ask things from this man, he’s the type to never forget a debt.

You barely catch a glimpse of Carlos and Charles as they walk by on the way to their debrief and Charles waves at you quickly, with a single-dimpled smile. He’s wearing the same cap you refused to put on.

“I’m going to call my friend,” you blurt out once Charles is out of sight, finally moving your leg back to make Stuart’s hand drop. “She had the worst hangover, I have to check up on her.”

“Oh, you girls get wild in Monaco,” Stuart cackles as you sprint away from him, actually resisting the urge to wipe your knee clean.

"Hey y/n!" Mati's voice can barely be heard above the EDM playing wherever she is. "What's up?"

"Where are you?" you whine, looking back inside the Suite. "Help."

"What's wrong?" you picture her frowning as she tries to walk away from the noise helplessly.

You feel guilty for worrying her so you sigh. "Nothing, I just hate being here. Are you coming here for Qualifying?"

"Yep," she pops the 'p' and laughs. "Listen, why don't we have lunch here at the yacht and then go back for Quali?"

"Yes!" once again you look over your shoulder to where the Elix men are laughing at their own jokes and patting each other's backs. “I’m on my way, okay?”

“I’ll be right here, also don’t scare me like that again, please.”

“Sorry,” you chuckle, embarrassed. Maybe you’re a bit dramatic at times, but it’s really all good-natured. “See you in a minute.”

You turn to the door of the Suite, giving a short jump back when you open it at the same time as someone else.

“Oh, god,” you sigh, stepping inside as Charles moves out of the way to let you in. “Thanks.”

“Sorry I scared you,” he smiles, closing the door again once you’re fully in. Charles is once again holding a closed Elix can, tapping his fingers on the side.

You eye it suspiciously, wondering if the thing has really grown on him. After all, one of the first things he told you was how much it disgusted him.

“It’s alright. I thought you were in your debrief?” You grab a can of Elix yourself, looking good in front of the sponsors cannot hurt.

“It was a short one. Keep doing what you’re doing kind of thing,”

“Right. Well, good for both of you,” you look around for Carlos but he’s nowhere to be seen. “Would it jinx it to say ‘good luck’ for later?”

You know many sportspeople take their jinxes and rituals way seriously, and you don’t want to be the one to blame if something goes wrong for the local star.

Charles considers this for a second and then shakes his head no. “Wish me luck,” he smiles.

“Good luck, Charles.” You beam back at him, enjoying—despite yourself—the way his eyes burn into yours.

─────────

You’re back at the Suite with Mati 10 minutes before Qualifying starts. The tension that had seeped out of your body in the form of laughter and loud singing with Mati is already making its way back to your back and jaw. You’re not ready to be around the Elix people again, but you must. However, first, you make Matilde promise she won’t leave your side.

Stuart Schaffer is already patting the empty seat next to him when you make your way through the refreshment tables. You smile at him, a muscle in your cheek falters as you walk past him on your way to the balcony, to catch both Ferraris leaving the garage.

“Oh don’t drink that,” you whisper when you see Mati walk your way, two cans of Gold Elix in her hands. “Don’t.”

Matilde snorts, “You’re literally the ambassador of this thing, and you don’t like it?”

“SHHH!”

“Fine, but those guys are looking at us so we have to at least sip it.”

You groan, opening the one she offers you and then taking a huge gulp. “Yum,” you mock.

Mati laughs again before her face goes sour with the taste. “Oh my God,”

“Warned you,” yet you take another sip. You think that if it grew on Charles it might grow on you, but you don’t really see it happening.

Q1 and Q2 go by smoothly, at least for Ferrari and you’re on the edge of your seat for Q3. This is the race you’ve been more excited for, but it’s not like you’ve attended many others. Still, Monaco just hits different.

The end of Q3 almost gives you a heart attack, although you also blame your almost empty Elix. You didn’t even notice how much you drank, but the thing that really gets your heart jumping out of your chest is Victoria’s ringtone.

Begrudgingly, you turn away from the track. She has texted you a thousand times, without exaggerating, since Quali started and you know it’s because she’s bored out of her mind at the Lounge with her parents. But you’re starting to find this genuinely entertaining and you are bothered by the distraction.

“I told you I’d call you after Quali, Vic,” you singsong, looking up at the screens inside the Suite.

“Well Quali is almost over, no one cares about the last three minutes.”

You do, Max Verstappen is in first place, then Charles and Checo in P3. You’re crossing your fingers for Charles to manage to get above both Red Bulls. And for Carlos to squeeze in there too.

You don’t say anything else, too enthralled by the battle on the screen.

“Y/n?” Vic raises her voice, “Are you listening to me?”

“Yes Vic, what is it?”

“We’re going to be at Ferrari together tomorrow, right?”

You wince, glad she chose a phone call instead of FaceTime this time around. You haven’t asked and you don’t intend to. Vic still has VIP Lounge access, she’ll be fine.

“They said no, Vic.” You lie, your eyes scanning the screen, it’s the last lap before they get the checkered flag out. “I’m sorry.”

“What? Why? Did you tell them I can give them publicity? I have one million followers!”

“Monaco is different from Miami,” you explain gently, “But you’ll still be at the VIP, you have a great view.”

“Yeah, whatever,” she’s beyond annoyed now, as it happens every time things don’t go her way. You can’t blame her, but you also think it will be good for her to spend some time with her parents, whom she refuses to visit although they live in Malibu and pay her mortgage. “We’re still up for dinner though, right?”

“Yep! I’ll meet you at your hotel.”

“Okay see you then, babes.”

By the time your eyes return to the screen, Charles is in P1, Carlos in P3 and the Ferrari Suite is exploding in cheers.

YOU’RE up painfully early the next day. Vic and you went back to your respective hotel way past three am and you’re exhausted, but at least you had enough self-control to avoid today’s hangover.

Nevertheless, the morning goes by in a blur between breakfast with Elix people, calls with Mildred and Walter, your manager, and two casting agents that tell you that no, you don’t need to go for an in-person casting, you’re not getting the role.

By the time you get to the Suite you have a headache and the knot on your throat is progressively getting harder to swallow. You only make things worse by rage-reading tweets with your #IsOver hashtag.

People claim, with more force every day, that Aidan gave you everything and you are starting to regret ever meeting him.

You have worked your ass off for years, taking on small roles, commercials, stock-photo deals. Learning scripts and going to castings and taking classes, you have been criticized and rejected for more things than just “not fitting the role”.

You have given everything you are and everything you have, and people assure what you got in return you owe it all to some man.

“Hola y/n!” Carlos is the first one to get back to the Suite and you wish he would rub off some of his good mood on you. “How are you today?”

“Hi Carlos, I’m alright and you?”

“You definitely look it,” he says, semi-sarcastically. “Something on your mind?”

The knot is back in your throat so you shake your head no. “And yours?”

“Nada de nada.” he smiles. You’re still growing on each other, but this is the most comfortable you’ve been while sharing the same space.

Charles arrives while Carlos, Mati (who is hungover from her party at the yachts) and you are comparing workout playlists. Wearing what now seems to be like his comfort cap, and a pair of ugly ripped jeans, he smiles brightly at the three of you.

You’re happy to see both Ferrari boys so smiley after the past couple races. Miami especially. And you hope they’ll do well; but you’re particularly scared for Charles, and whatever it is that made him unlucky in his hometown, you don’t want this day to end on a sour note.

You spend about an hour talking to them about anything, your movies, their races, Mati's tour with Romeo and Juliet. Music, hobbies and quirks, Charles and Carlos have an opinion on everything and they are actually quite fun to be around. Then, a Ferrari Team member comes to get them for the Drivers Parade so you wave them goodbye, wishing them a smooth race.

"You're not going to wish me luck, y/n?" Charles asks, the smirk on his face is one you identify as mischievous, and it makes a small wave of anxiety run down your back.

Mati stops the bottle of water halfway through her mouth to ogle at the two of you, and the palpable tension that has installed itself in the space.

"Good luck, Charles," the smile you return falters in one corner, but Charles doesn't seem to mind as he adjusts his cap and says thank you before leaving behind Carlos.

Mati has forgotten about her need to hydrate and is staring at you with both eyebrows raised. "I thought you were not doing that?" she gestures with her head towards the door through which both drivers vanished.

"I'm not doing anything," you reply, defensively. "He's being—"

"y/n, you could cut the tension there for a minute," Mati finally takes a swig of water and you wait for her to continue talking. "Like I said, I don't recommend it but... you're free to do whatever you want." she isn't unkind while wording that last part, but it still stings you with annoyance.

"Thanks, Mati." you bite the inside of your cheek, leaning back into the sofa.

─────────

The Ferrari Suite explodes in cheers once the checkered flag is out. After a frankly insane race with rain, crashes and too-long pit stops, both Ferraris have crossed the finish line, and most importantly Charles has finally managed to get rid of his Monaco curse. His enlarged picture appears on every screen with P1 right in the middle. Carlos is P4, but the points are extremely important in the long run, so people celebrate nevertheless.

Before you know it, Mati and you are being dragged down to the track for the podium celebrations. You're buzzing with excitement, holding Matilde's hand as you run to one side, where the mechanics can't crush you as they jump up and down.

Even above the general screams of happiness, you can hear talks of 'Charles deserves this so much', 'It was about time' and 'His hard work is finally paying off at home'.

At least someone's blood, sweat and tears are valued.

YOU are probably not living down the Charles dating allegations this weekend. Which is not your fault, honestly, had they enlarged the picture, it would have shown Mati just as excited for Ferrari as you were. She's Italian, and she bleeds for Ferrari.

But right now, surprisingly, you're not overwhelmed with whatever it is they're saying on Twitter. Although it took Mati snatching your phone away and tossing it in her own purse before sitting you down to retouch your makeup for the celebration party.

Victoria is joining you too, because a 'the more the merrier' applies to any sort of party happening in a Monaco club, especially if it is for the unofficial prince.

It is the first time in three months you let go of your worries, even if it is for the shortest amount of time as you dance with Victoria and Mati and drink anything you please and whoop every time the DJ mentions Charles and Carlos.

You're happy to be with your friends, away from Elix and celebrating two people who can become something more than coworkers to you. Although through the night you see them on a few occasions, Carlos waves at you as he passes by a few times only stopping in the third time to let you congratulate him with a quick hug that's more of a shoulder squeeze than anything.

Charles is obviously harder to approach, and to be fair, it's not like you're even trying. He's surrounded by his hometown friends and by anyone who wants to have his attention for a minute, for a picture or a dance or to buy him a drink.

It's past three am when Victoria is beyond buzzed and you're starting to feel exhausted so you decide it's time to leave. Mati has found someone to take home so she's been gone for around forty minutes, minding her business.

"Come on, let's go," you are grabbing Victoria by the wrist as her ankle twists. "We've both had enough," you laugh, Victoria joins your laughter as you snake through the crowd of people pumping fists in the air, some of them point and wave at you and you smile back at them politely.

You hear your name being passed around a few times, but you focus on finding the exit while keeping Victoria by your side, who has started to whine about not wanting to leave.

Once you break into the outside, you take a breath of fresh air, the coolness makes your skin rise in goosebumps and you shiver, letting go of Victoria to lift the hair on the back of your neck.

"It's too early!" Victoria complains once again, her eyes are glassy and she's just as sweaty.

"It's not, plus you're drunk, we should leave," your ears still feel drowned in the sound of music. “My feet are killing me.”

The exit opens again, and a couple stumbles out laughing and they tell Vic and you goodbye in drunken French. Before the door shuts again, Charles is out on the street too.

"I heard you were leaving," he says in what you're sure it's a too loud voice. But your ears have barely stopped ringing, so you can't blame him. "Are you two okay?" he eyes Victoria, who is starting to lean down on her knees to soothe her dizziness.

"Oh we're alright, we've just partied enough," you smile at him. Charles is rosy, bright-eyed and sweaty. Is it corny to describe someone as painfully handsome?

"I didn't get to congratulate you," you add, trying to keep your attention on Charles while being aware that Victoria might start retching at any given moment. "You did amazing."

Victoria straightens immediately, her glassy stare focusing on Charles. "You're such a good driver, Charles, for real."

"Thank you," Charles nods awkwardly a few times as Victoria pokes him with her left index finger. "And thank you y/n."

"Come on, Vic," you chuckle, keeping her hand away from Charles. "Seriously though, I'm happy for you."

Charles smiles again, running a hand through his hair. "Thank you, really. I'm sorry I didn't see you earlier," he points behind him, to the club.

"It's your party, you can't be everywhere,"

Vic is yawning loudly, and you roll your eyes, amused. "We better get going."

"y/n, when are you flying to Spain?" Charles blurts out, the moment you turn to lead Vic down the street.

"I'm not sure, Wednesday probably?"

"You know, I can still show you a place or two in Monaco. If you want." He sinks his left hand in the front pocket of his dark jeans, and you wonder where the mischievous aura from what seems like ages ago went.

You pause, letting Vic put her whole weight on your shoulder as she finally gives up to the exhaustion. "Um well..."

The same tension that appeared at the Ferrari Suite is back, and the more you hesitate, the thicker it becomes.

Victoria pulls you down with her as she throws her head back, yawning again. Charles is just in time to hold you back up, his other arm pulling Vic back to a standing position.

"Only if you want," he says, he is far too close now and you can smell the mix of alcohol and cologne on him.

And maybe it's the alcohol in your own system, and you'll regret this once you sober up and realize that you told Matilde several times this is exactly what you were not going to do, but you say yes.

─── team principal radio: ❝thank you for reading! I hope you've enjoyed this chapter. I want to say thank you to everyone who interacts with this series, it means a lot to me to know that you're enjoying it!♡❞

✰ paddock club members: @majx00

[bbyboybucket]

So I wrote up all this stuff weeks ago and drafted it and forgot about it until I seen these tags from @kahuna-burger

And they are absolutely right. And I’m so glad someone agrees with me on this analogy, because this is EXACTLY how I see him, and exactly what I get into below. This is the whole thing I was writing up previously:

“The winter soldier was treated like a living weapon.”

Mmm, yes. The whole living weapon thing is not a wrong metaphor. But I’d argue that there’s something else far more accurate (aka what the now added tags say).

He wasn’t their weapon. He was their dog. In such an uncanny way, almost literal sense. I wouldn’t even say a guard dog, I’d actually say he was Hydra’s hunting dog.

I mean think about it. Really. They actually treated him like a dog.

He wears a harness. He wears a fucking muzzle for gods sake.

But that’s just the bare minimum of similarities.

What do they do when he gets out of line? To punish him, to put make him obey and learn to fall back into good behavior? They shock him. Just like how people have always used shock collars and electric fences for dogs. When he’s been “bad”, when he does something he’s not supposed to, he gets shocked to correct that behavior.

They also smack him and get physical. People don’t do that with weapons. There’s no point in that. And you wouldn’t wanna damage or harm a weapon. But people do smack dogs. They hit their dogs when they don’t behave or do something wrong because harm, pain, and damage will teach it. Just like it teaches him. And they’ll heal so it’s not a concern.

He was trained to obey commands. Just like dogs. He does any little thing he’s told because he’s conditioned with a rewards system. He even has specific command words that trigger compliance. Just like you teach a dog to sit or roll over with trigger words, he has em too. I mean literally, he has a Pavlovian response to said words. And what was the original Pavlov experiment done on? A dog. The only difference is he doesn’t get physical treats. His treat is praise, which they manipulated him into being desperate for. They even go as far to incentivize him with this praise (think about the bank scene, where Pierce praises him), just like you would present a dog with a treat when you want it to do a trick. Hell, actually praise is a way you reward dogs too, because they listen and learn when you tell them they’re a “good boy, good dog”.

Hydra asserts their dominance over him just in case he turns on them, just to remind of who’s the “alpha”. Because they know (just like big dog owners) that he can tear them up, he can attack and shred them to pieces, but if he thinks he’s not the “alpha” then he’ll back down.

And yeah, he’s protective and reliant on his “owners” like most dogs would be. But like I said, not just a guard dog. A hunting dog. Because just like people teach their dogs to track down and go after bears, squirrels, dear, etc. he was also taught how to track down stuff to kill. Stuff that his owner wanted dead. That’s his whole purpose, to hunt for them.

Also, think about how Hydra obtained him. It’s like if a person saw an injured dog in a ditch, brought it to a vet to heal up, then took it home to have as their own pet. Because that’s exactly what they did with him. It’s just the owner was an abusive one.

He wasn’t treated like some expensive tank or powerful arsenal of guns. He was treated like well trained hunting dog.

[only-the-moon-will-tell]

Headcannon: Poly relationship! With Noah and Nick

A/N: Now my intention was for this to be a lil fluff piece but somebody and I'm not saying names or nothing @artificialbreezy 👀👀 was discussing something with me and brought out my whore mindset and so here we are 🤷🏾‍♀️

- imagine you come downstairs one morning and you see Noah cooking breakfast while Nick is sitting up on the counter and they're just talking and joking

- Thankfully they don't see you yet so you just stand there with your arms crossed in awe watching them filled with nothing but love in your eyes and amazed at how you got so lucky

- Noah perks up and says "hey it's almost done you wanna go get y/n?"

- And Nick hops down from the counter and turns to leave and sees you standing there and jumps "oh shit you scared me how long have you been there?" You don't answer as your too zoned out

- Nick comes closer and taps your shoulder and waves a hand in front of you "hellloooo earth to y/n" which snaps you out of it

- You shake your head and look at nick not quite looking him in the eyes (his eyes are so pretty I'd fucking panic I'm sorry)

- Lots of "yes princess?" And you going "yes my love?"

- Physical touch! One of them is always touching you whether it be laying their head in your lap when chilling on the couch or an arm around your shoulder in public they just need to touch you!!

-

- NSFW

- Noah? Daddy Kink

- Nick? Sir AND Daddy kink

- When it's just the three of you at home you just call them "daddy" or "sir" because that's their name now no discussion 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

- Degrading 🤝 Praising

- As Miley Cyrus says ✨ You get the best of both worlds ✨

- "Oh look at that our little slut does know how to follow instructions"

- If you're a brat then it's OVER

- Cause Noah? Oh he might lessen up on you if he thinks you're learning your lesson but nick? He stops when he knows you've learned it

it doesn't matter if it's writing line while one of them is stuffed deep inside you and filling you with cum you better still be writing those lines and they better be legible or it's just gonna get worse for you

Or maybe they'll tie you up to a chair and attach a vibrator to you but it'll barely touch your clit giving you just the bare minimum to keep you on edge for as long as they want you too

noah would probably eat you out (he's a fucking MUNCH i just know it) meanwhile Nick is holding you down making sure you can't squirm away while just saying shit like "aww you look so pretty when you cry"

or or "don't beg him to stop now you wanted this didn't you?"

- Nick has a dacryphilia kink so when you have tears running down your face Noah might soften a little bit on you it just eggs nick on more

- He wants to see how many more tears he can make you cry

- Not his fault you look so pretty when you're ruined behind repair

- "Aww your mascara is running a little baby...here let's make it run a little more"

- Their favorite part of ruining your makeup? Your lipstick of course

- It's all smudged and nearly gone cause they had to put that fucking mouth of yours to work

- Its not their fault you decided to keep running your mouth all day talking about how they weren't gonna do anything to you and they were just so so weak

- Now here you are hands tied behind your back and hair an absolute fucking mess cause they can't stop yanking it and caressing your head as your struggle to take them in your mouth

- "Finally getting to put this filthy mouth to good use"

- One would grab ahold of your hair so you can't move while the other grabs your face so they can fuck your throat just how they like it

- Spit running down your chin and onto your chest but don't worry! They fuck your pretty tits too and paint them with cum

- Facials!!!! Gotta make sure you don't forget who's cumdump you are

- They probably jerked off at the same time so you could be covered with both of their cum

- "Open up and tongue out princess" and *click* there goes another picture to add to their private folders

They're favorite part of it all tho? when you're so far gone you can't even think let alone speak

"You gonna keep acting like a fucking brat?" and all you can do is babble about absolute nonsense and moan in response

[primaviva]

BOOKWORM

PAIRING: gwen stacy x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: gwen stacy with a girlfriend who loves reading.

WARNINGS: none, jus pure fluff !!

gwen with bookworm!gf who thinks it’s really cool how much you read and finds it cute when you get lost in a book. she just adores to see you in your habitat and will fawn over your book collection knowing damn well she doesn’t wear much herself.

“you think it’s cute? for real?”

“course i do. especially when it’s someone attractive but also reallyyy sweet and smart. just like you.”

gwen with bookworm!gf who will literally buy you anything off your book list, surprise you with special editions with extra money she told her dad she needed for lunch, and drive you to barns & nobles just to follow you around like a puppy and admire how beautiful you look while doing something you love.

gwen with bookworm!gf who absolutely loves it when you can’t shut up about a book. she’ll know nothing about it but the way your eyes light up and your expressions keep changing as you frantically talk with your hands about something that truly gagged you in the storyline. gwen has secretly taken photos of you reading or videos while you’re talking about a recent read. she either shows them to you later or just keeps them for herself to watch later when she misses you while on patrol or when you two are apart.

gwen with bookworm!gf who begs you to read to her. gwen loved the sound of your voice as is, but for her to cuddle into you after a long day of being the city’s protector and listen to you read aloud for her as she feels her eyelids get heavy and her breath tickles against your neck? heaven. absolute heaven for her.

gwen with bookworm!gf who will literally break into a million pieces if you let her borrow a book you been seeing her eyeing in your room for a while every time she breaks in through your window. she will feel so special like the only girl in the world if you trust her with your books because she knows how you are about taking care of them and will kill someone just for doing the bare minimum of damage by bending the spine, folding a page, missing papers, etc… she knows you.

gwen with bookworm!gf who feels her chest get warm when she sees all the annotations in your books. especially if it’s a book that you lend her and she’s at home, laid back on her bed as she flips through the pages with her calloused finger tips, and sees all your little writings. gwen will trace your handwriting and smile as she feels the indents of the pen against the paper texture. she melts seeing your frantic thoughts on each page from the highlighting, underlining, and full on analysis done on each page to the silly little sticky notes with comments and stuff you wanna remember like “this guy is dumb as hell.” can and will fawn, giggle, and obsess over your being for the whole night she reads along and sees your annotations.

“god, this girl is gonna be the death of me.”

gwen with bookworm!gf who wants to read with you soooooo bad but is too shy to ask. something so domestic like just reading with her girlfriend fills her thoughts sometimes when she gets lost in herself and just misses your presence. gwen would love to just have you sat in her lap with her arms around your waist as she snuggles into your neck while you both lean back on her bed against the pillows and take turns reading paragraphs. even just the two of you cuddling in bed and holding one hand each on the book, head to head, taking turns reading while gwen makes her little comments is just OME of her favorite things to do with you. especially if it’s a really shitty book she convinced you to read for fun.

gwen with bookworm!gf who gets more into reading just because of you. it comes from a place of trying to impress you but also just wanting to embrace a hobby of yours the same way you do to her. she thinks it’s good to indulge in what your significant other likes to do— just like how you let her teach you how to play the drums… or at least play around and try. she thinks it’s fun sharing the love of something she loves to do with the person she loves. so reading your books and surprising you when you tell her about the book and she opens her mouth and says what happens next before you just to see the gobsmacked look on your face before your mouth stretches into a smile? god, she can’t get enough of it.

gwen with bookworm!gf who teases you if you read romance novels. you will never hear the end of it if you slip up and mention something in a book that flustered you because she will start acting bold again.

“you liked it that much, huh. wanna try it? i bet you imagine them as us-”

“gwen watch how i slap you with this 2 pound of paper weaponry.”

gwen with bookworm!gf who can get a little jealous of your books. it’s childish, really. and trust she knows this. yes, it’s normal for you to be reading while you’re in your room and she stops by to see you. but gwen can’t help but come up behind you and start trailing kisses from behind your ear, to the nape of your neck, all the way to your shoulders as you whimper and defeat and finally turn your attention to her. she wants you all to herself sometimes and she’s working on it.

gwen with bookworm!gf who loves to take you on library dates. she’ll drive you, i mean she doesn’t mind since you’re her passenger princess let’s be real, but she likes walking you there when she plans something like that. just walking with you hand in hand as you blab about what you’re gonna try and look for and then sit in the corner and read together is just a symphony to her ears and thoughts.

gwen with bookworm!gf who pulls the “can i see your book collection?” just to watch you get riled up. gwen wants to know all your favorite books, what genres you seem to read the most, what you seem to dislike, just everything. she just has this big toothy grin on her face as she watches you sort through piles of books saying which ones were good, made you try, were just stupid and unreadable, etc.

gwen with bookworm!gf who loves it when you send her a quote, character, or section from the book and saying it reminds you of her. especially if it’s a romantic moment like those really aesthetic and beautiful pinterest quotes for mood boards or something stupid a character did. send her that “i’m jealous of your pillows and of your sheets, i want to hear to sound of your heartbeat” type quote and she will fold onto the floor like a beach chair screaming internally.

gwen with bookworm!gf who tries to do literary pick up lines on you just to mess with you or try and get you all flustered.

“babe, you are so unique that nobody can compare to you. while others are just words, you are poetry- pfff”

“you are so damn cheesy. please, enough with the pick up lines that was the most stupid one yet..”

“but i picked it for a reason :(”

gwen with bookworm!gf who will tell off anybody who says something slick to you or makes fun of you for being a heavy reader.

“the hell is your problem? you’re making fun of somebody for literally reading- it’s something you’re supposed to do! you’re worried about the wrong things dude.”

gwen with bookworm!gf who loves having a girlfriend who is smart, beautiful, and is obsessed with her books. gwen will do anything to show her support for you and show how much she appreciates you and your special interests.

“what, you didn’t expect me to stick up to you? nobody talks to my bookworm like that.”

“please dont start acting corny again but… thank you. nobody usually does stuff like that for me.”

“anything for my girl.”

DO NOT STEAL, COPY, OR TRANSLATE MY WORK. ALL WRITING IS @PRIMAVIVA.

[ponett]

I have now finally seen the Mario movie. It was Pretty Good. Here are my wordy thoughts on it. (I am going to spoil the entire movie. Duh.)

In many ways, the Mario movie does what I wish the first Sonic movie had done. They just took the characters and the premise and the world from the games, and made it a straightforward animated adventure movie. It's bright and colorful and remixes things JUST enough to include fun elements from multiple games, and it doesn't make Mario get adopted by James Marsden or whatever. It even has the music!

That's all you really need, right? Right...?

I'll get this out of the way up front. Chris Pratt was fine. He's fine

If anything, it really feels like they did the movie a disservice by letting us hear so little of the Mario voice in the previews. It took one scene for Pratt to disappear into the role for me. It was totally fine. If anything, I found Charlie Day's normal voice coming out of Luigi WAY more distracting, even if I did like him in the role.

Everyone else was pretty good, for the most part. Jack Black was obviously very good as Bowser, but I'm biased. Seth Rogen does the Seth Rogen laughs as Donkey Kong, but I thought DK was fun, too. (I liked his little rivalry with Mario where he was just constantly giving him shit.) The only casting choice I truly hated was Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong. I hated every line that came out of his mouth. He sounds atrocious. Just the worst. I swear to fucking god if they do a DKC movie and we have to hear him for 90 minutes

I did think Peach was lacking, but that was on the script, not Anya Taylor-Joy's performance. It's cool to see Peach fight, but it's one of those all too common instances where the writers put so much effort into making the main girl kick ass and be an effortlessly confident girlboss that they forgot to give her an actual personality. Not that I'd point to Super Princess Peach and its mood swing superpowers as positive representation or anything, but there's a happy middle ground, surely. Shrek was 22 years ago, just having the princess do flying kung fu kicks isn't enough.

Okay. With the voices out of the way, let's talk about the big picture:

It's way better than the words "Illumination Mario movie" implied, and I mostly enjoyed my time with it. The spirit of Mario is there 100%. But I'd also describe it as "ruthlessly efficient."

This was perhaps the main complaint critics had, and they were absolutely right. People have responded to these totally average reviews with "Well, what did you expect? Shakespeare?! It's MARIO!!" Like, yes, I would prefer it if the movie I paid to see had writing that was good instead of bad. What a shocker. My issue isn't that it's not "high-brow" enough. The problem is that it feels mercenary. It feels like an editor went through and deleted almost every line of dialogue that isn't some form of exposition, at the expense of the pacing. Any scene that's not a montage or some sort of action is kept as short as they could make it, with barely any room for embellishment, character interaction, or anything other than the bare minimum word count to hit all the typical Save the Cat Hollywood screenwriting 101 story beats to the letter. There aren't even as many jokes as you might think (and the ones that are there are extremely hit or miss, including a lot of the slapstick with Mario himself).

Mario and Peach's little arc together in the front half of the film is probably the worst example of this pacing. Even having read reviews that complained about how fast Peach goes from meeting Mario (by her admission the first other human she's ever met) to deciding to train him as the new savior of the Mushroom Kingdom, I was SHOCKED at how fast it was. They don't even lampshade it.

Peach takes Mario straight into the big training sequence where he learns how to use mushrooms and jump over platforming obstacles. Peach is apparently already a hypercompetent platforming pro and a great fighter, so there's no clear reason why she's taking the time to train this random guy to be half as good as her when the world is in danger. Then they set off on their adventure, Toad joins them, and we get a VERY brief travel montage. It's about thirty seconds total - just long enough to give Peach a line about how she wants to protect this beautiful world of hers to try and give her some stakes. We get the genre-mandated nighttime campfire heart to heart, which is exactly long enough to have Mario say he misses Luigi and to have Peach give the two sentence summary of her origin story and not a second longer. Then they reach the Kongs, and their big journey is complete. (They barely interact for the rest of the movie.) So much of the movie is like this - always ready to get on to the next scene as soon as a new one starts.

I'm not criticizing the script because I expect The Super Mario Bros. Movie to be a prestige drama - although there are certainly halfhearted attempts at a dramatic arc. The stuff with Mario's family was a fun enough idea, but again, ruthless efficiency. We get one quick scene with them at the start to give Mario some pathos, because I guess Save the Cat said he's gotta have some pathos. And then Mario gets his dad's approval amidst the action of the final battle in Brooklyn to resolve his arc, just so the movie can end as quickly as possible once Bowser is defeated. (Despite now having the approval of their family and their community back in Brooklyn, Mario and Luigi move to the Mushroom Kingdom off-screen without a single word dedicated to this decision, because that's where they live in the games.)

Look. I am not comparing it to The Godfather. Don't give me that shit. I am not asking for an extra half hour to explore Mario and Luigi's childhood trauma. I am not asking for the complex inner workings of the Mushroom Kingdom monarchy. I know this is gonna be a basic Hero's Journey adventure for kids. It just feels like it's turning down so many opportunities to have a little fun with the characters, to let them interact and play off of each other, to let there be some adventure on this adventure. This is the first time we've gotten to see these characters interact with fully voiced dialogue in a very, very long time! "Yeah, it's not High Art, but it's FUN!" Stories are fun! Character interactions are fun! The script could be having so much more fun!! It is adamantly against making the Story parts of this story-driven movie any more Fun than they functionally need to be!!!

Mario, Peach, and Toad's journey to find the Kongs is shorter than the training montage that precedes it. After the opening, Bowser mostly just sits in his castle and waits for the third act to start. Luigi's there, too, but he only gets one scene with Bowser and then the movie mostly forgets he exists until the climax. He doesn't even get to try and sneak out of Bowser's castle and get up to hijinx. He's just there to be a motivation for Mario, so he sits in a cage for half the movie. It's the bare outline of a script with action scenes added in.

Aside from the fact that it's Jack Black singing as Bowser, I feel like this overly-efficient script might be part of the reason why the "Peaches" scene stands out so much. It's a moment that didn't strictly need to be there to keep the plot moving or to provide an action setpiece. It's not even a reference to another Mario thing. It's just a fun and memorable little character moment that's there for its own sake. That's what the movie needed more of. To stop and smell the roses more often. To play in the space.

To be clear, this isn't a unique problem with this movie. Critics have been noting for years that second acts are disappearing from big Hollywood movies in favor of the Act I plot setup and the Act III action, even though Act II is supposed to be where you get to explore your actual premise. And lots of animated movies give me this exact same vibe of being too "screenwriterly," or feeling like they had an executive breathing down their necks and demanding changes based on focus testing. But these common issues are why I come away mostly feeling like the movie is on the better end of "average," rather than totally blowing my mind. You have seen this movie many times before, just not with Mario in it.

And, of course, there's the music. The score by Brian Tyler based on various classic Mario and Donkey Kong tunes (frustratingly all attributed to Koji Kondo) is absolutely beautiful, but it's unfortunately frequently overshadowed by the licensed music. Everyone already complained about things like the use of Take On Me in place of a lovingly arranged DKC medley, but it feels illustrative of the tug of war the movie is caught in the middle of, between wanting to be a lavishly faithful Mario movie and wanting to be a generic tentpole animated adventure movie. Every single licensed song used is the most obvious, overused song they could have picked for the scene. It reeks of cynical executive meddling and it took me out of the movie every time.

But there really was a lot of care and love put into this movie - more than probably any other video game movie ever made, not that that's a high bar. I don't want to underplay that too much amidst all my complaints spurred by the absolutely insane response to the reviews.

Aside from the countless background references that people will be picking apart for years, touches like the Captain Toad tune playing in the background of Toad's introduction or the Mario Kart 8 menu music playing in the kart garage really help bring it to another level of authenticity. I also enjoyed seeing some more obscure Mario enemies that felt like they were picked more for being fun to animate than for being nostalgic and marketable. No matter how many times I sarcastically pointed to the screen and deadpanned "reference. reference." I am not immune to noticing these things and smiling. I am not immune to the DK Rap. These alone don't make the movie good, but it's nice to have a video game movie that feels like it was made by people who like video games.

Most importantly, the animation is great throughout. It's leaps and bounds ahead of other Illumination work, and it's the best the Mario cast has ever looked. They even made Donkey Kong handsome, somehow. They're all so squishy and expressive, and they move so fluidly - especially in the action scenes. I particularly liked the more kinetic ones like the aerial Banzai Bill chase and the Mario Kart sequence. Truly, the Mad Max-inspired car battle on Rainbow Road where Mario literally does the speedrun shortcut is this movie firing on all cylinders.

Other, more hand-to-hand fights nail the Popeye-esque vibe Mario should be going for. He's an underdog who gets the shit kicked out of him by bigger, stronger opponents until he gets his signature powerup and turns the tables on them. My favorite animation of all probably came from the use of Cat Mario to turn the tide in the DK fight. They had so much fun making Mario move like a cat. Again, it feels like a choice made because it'd be fun to animate rather than just a nostalgia move.

It's that animation and that attention to detail that carry the film, really. They elevate it from mediocrity into being a fun watch for a fan like me, albeit one I couldn't help but pick apart with Anthony as we watched it at home. I'm glad I saw it, but there's a lot of room to improve with the inevitable sequel. I hope they do. I can't deny that I had fun with the movie, but I hope next time that fun is partially because of the script instead of in spite of it.

Stray thoughts:

Overall, I would say I enjoyed the movie a lot more than Sonic 1, but probably not as much as Sonic 2. Not that these movies need to be pitted against each other.

I hated the Luma. I hated how hilarious they clearly thought the Luma was. They have the fucking Luma break the fourth wall to end the movie and start the credits. This is going to be a deep cut for fans of bad animated films, but the whole time I was just thinking of the little fish from Romeo & Juliet: Sealed With A Kiss who's just the director's kid saying random nonsense. You know I'm right

I rolled my eyes at the "our princess is in another castle" joke and several other jokes that would have been dated in a gamer webcomic 20 years ago but I guess they had to be there

How much of Brooklyn did Bowser's giant floating castle take out? We know 9/11 happened in this universe because the Freedom Tower is there, hasn't New York been through enough

I can't believe there's a Diskun easter egg

The dog is the most Illumination character design in the movie. It felt like it wandered on set from The Secret Life of Pets

Mario being a gamer and playing Kid Icarus of all things just made me remember this tweet:

Yes Anthony did get mad at me for being thirsty for Bowser

[peaterookie]

Trials and Tribulations of Scanning: Lupin III Manga

Hi!

It's been a while since I've made a proper Lupin essay, and this one is going to be a bit different from all the ones I've done too.

Throughout the years in the manga community, I've gotten very accustomed to the process of scanning and archiving this series, it's something that I sincerely do enjoy doing so I wanna just dedicate a post talking about it and also bring attention a huge project of mine.

Disclaimer that this isn't really gonna be a comphrehensive history with a bunch of details about the scanning process done on the series before I entered the fandom, I just wanna talk about certain parts that I think are worth writing and my experiences doing it myself.

Okay this intro's gotten long enough let's get started.

Let's talk about the tokyopop scans of the OG manga and HOW SHIT IT IS.

Oh poor og manga... you were doomed from the start from the moment you were uploaded publically. Because who the hell is going to want to read something that looks like this???

An important step when I scan my pages is cleaning, it is the process where you take the initial scans, which I call raws, and polish them to make it prettier. When you see the scans of the og manga, it is very very clear that the person did not bother to clean any of these at all.

The coloration of the pages (which should not have been there at all if they decided to scan in grayscale) gives it an unpleasant old vibe, and should have been editted to turn into something more black and white.

I honestly do not understand why anyone would just leave a page this bad and assume that people would be fine reading something that looks like this. I am very convinced that the quality detered some people from checking the manga out any further because at its worst, it's unreadable and the details of the art is hard to decipher.

It's very easy too!! I can easily take this place and edit it on my phone to turn it into...

This!

Ain't that much better already. and it only took me a minute to do just that, imagine just how better the rest of the scans would've been if the person gave a bit more effort to clean their pages?

One of the many things i've learned is that when you do something for a community, whatever you put out might stay there forever and become a permanent impact on the people using your product, so it's important to make it look good!!!

What is good about the OG manga + new adventures though is that there exists high quality scans of it, just in japanese. So while there is still no good scans of the english version, people can always find a better alternative elsewhere.

Shin Lupin III though... is a different story.

(insert cool transition here or something)

Here is what I really wanted to talk about.

Shin Lupin III, literally. has. no. good scans. It's all shit. You get trash or garbage and that is it.

"But Peater! What about the Tokyopop scans! They're pretty good right?"

You're absolutely correct! Until you realize that Tokyopop did not fully translate Shin Lupin III, leaving approximately 100 chapters worth of manga in horrible quality 😂😂😂

Those missing parts are the ultimate problem, and the guy that is now in charge of translating the rest of Shin Lupin, Oranges, does not do the scanning justice (the one above.)

I do not know what kind of source he uses, but it is absolute horseshit, and again, he doesn't seem to bother with editting them to make them look better. I'll just provide more examples, to really emphasize how horrible it looks. You can barely see what's going on with some of them.

Someone pointed a flashlight while scanning this

(Editor's Note: So it seems like Oranges did the bare minimum and fixed the scans on the San Francisco arc so he is slightly forgiven)

And what the Japanese scans? Hahaha, it gets worse.

From an simple look at it, you might be tricked into thinking that this is a good scan! has nice lighting, black ink, BUT THIS IS WHERE YOU'RE WRONG.

Look closer. The lineart is melding into each other, the cross hatching is blurred, the kanji is barely readable.

This is the works of an Al upscaling tool.

AND THEY DID THIS, FOR EVERY SINGLE PAGE! THEY LURE YOU INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY LIKE "omg!! san francisco scans!!" AND THIS IS WHEN THEY TRAP YOU INTO A MELTING POT OF AI SHIT TO NEVER BE ABLE TO HAVE GOOD SHIN LUPIN SCANS EVER AGAIN AND AM SICK OF IT!$_+$(2!(_(!_(+7(0#+#?@!

And so that's why I'm going to be doing something about it!

My project for this year is to rescan Shin Lupin III in higher quality. No AI upscaling involved, everything will be done by hand. Here are the previous panels again but scanned by me!!

See the differences now!! This is what happens when someone puts effort on their scans!! wowwwww

I've already finished scanning the raws for every single page, and now it is only time to clean them.

When will I finish this? I can't tell you, but I promise that it will be done and released before the year ends. I hope you guys are looking forward to this!!

Darn, I actually didn't get to talk much about my process and how i got into scanning huh? Maybe some other time if people are interested.

But for now, goodbye, and thanks for reading!!

[collegetennisoriginstory]

kind of cringe (and by cringe i mean transphobic and antisemitic) to be talking about harry potter when rowling is a well known transphobe and antisemite and trans and jewish people have been saying for a year+ now to stop talking about this series and this author, giving them a platform and keeping them relevant and in the public conscious. i really really like this game and enjoy your writing, but if you cant do the bare minimum of allyship for your trans and jewish readers then i wont be able to keep supporting this game. very disappointing, i hope you can grow and do better

First up, I think you make a very important point in needing to caveat that we disagree with an author's stances/views (I absolutely do not condone Rowling as a person nor her transphobic / antisemitic stances) especially because NOT doing so would, as you say, continue to keep their books in the public consciousness. I've added this caveat to the original post :)

My bottom line is still: I stand with trans people, and Jewish people, and I cannot abide by the things Rowling has said and done and I fully see those deeds and words as an attack on people I care about. I think, like you said, it's important in this climate to reiterate this strongly, and unequivocally. There's no nuance needed here.

However, I think discussion of the author's work ALONGSIDE discussion of the author's transphobic / antisemitic comments can sometimes be more fruitful than simply erasing all traces of this person's existence, because discussion is (to me) always more constructive than erasure.

In other words, I believe documenting / sharing reasons for one's censure is almost as important as the act of cancelling / not supporting the author (because ultimately, statements like "I do not support Rowling's stance on xxx because xxx" will spark important changes to societal attitudes far more than simple silence will—as the latter will simply be an absence rather than a presence of careful, measured discourse.

I have always engaged with both the asks/messages I agree with and disagree with, and I have always been honest and unflinching in my replies. I understand that you might have a different view ("all talk about a work is bad/too much talk", for instance), but I think there is room for us to respectfully disagree on that.

I will continue to engage where I have the energy and time to do so, because I believe these conversations are the only way we can prevent society from becoming echo chambers / isolated, polarised camps. Censorship (including self-censorship with the intention to withdraw support from something) to me is far more nefarious than robust disagreement/dissent (in the vein of George Orwell's 1984 and Swyngedouw's argument that the absence of disagreement is the state of "post-democracy", where everything is always already decided.)

P.S. I think discussion of an author's shitty stances, and reiteration of allyship has to be done alongside cutting off all material / financial support for said author. I'm more than down with the latter. I am fully in the camp of not watching/reading/buying the books and movies, but I do believe continued discussion of the work and the author's stances go hand-in-hand with this.

Cheers!

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

The way substance abuse has been handled on the show thus far genuinely upsets me and reeks of writers who either 1.) don't understand the subject matter they're presenting and haven't done even the bare minimum to research it or, worse, 2.) simply don't care.

Apologies for the slight rant incoming, your comment about how it has been mostly "handled" off-screen got me going because that's 100% true and in that truth is such a missed opportunity for the show. The way it has been handled winds up feeling incredibly shallow and juvenile at the end of the day, especially for a piece of media that is attempting to present itself as "adult" and navigate multiple incredibly sensitive topics. I'll try not to get into my own personal experiences and will speak broadly, but the show uses substance abuse more as a cheap character flaw to poke fun at or something to magically handwave away when it is inconvenient, rather than the life-altering, debilitating illness that it is.

Nothing about Angel's use is ever meaningfully explored. It's so (apparently) unimportant to his arc and development that one rude comment from Husk (a character who ALSO has a problem with gambling and alcohol that is never addressed) is all it takes for him to suddenly "resist temptation" and be shown as "recovered" (unless I'm misremembering). Or was he suddenly going to counseling off-screen too and its just another thing that will be told to us rather than shown? And how does Charlie even handle that at the Hotel (I'd be really interested in this as a moment for her character to have to grow/change too)? Does she even understand substance abuse and the many unaddressed systemic factors that can influence it? Or is the entire recovery process just shame based (because that works so well /s) combined with some more corny trust exercises? Why is this incredibly serious topic relegated to the background as if it's unimportant?

Recovery is hard. It is emotional and exhausting. Withdrawal (depending on what you're coming off of) can sometimes mean excruciating, unimaginable pain and in some cases people literally die. It is not a funny "ha-ha I take drugs because I'm chaotic and wild" quirk to be adored or glorified and it definitely should not be presented as something that can be wrapped up in a month or two off-screen without any development whatsoever. That's just insulting.

When you approach a topic like substance abuse and recovery, I personally feel you need to take in all sides of it. All the missteps that come with it (two steps forward one step back - mistakes are expected and okay), the self-loathing, the guilt and shame, the joy, the sense of freedom, the loss, and the best part of all: the incredibly difficult but liberating journey that is rebuilding your life and learning to love yourself and your body again, once you've chosen to be free and to live life.

Mad props to anyone who has ever battled this disease. You are strong, you are worth it and you are valued. Lol I am so sorry for going off here but I so appreciate you calling out the lack of exploration on this topic in the show. I guess I didn't even realize how annoyed and upset it was making me feel (praying this is coherent...).

This was absolutely coherent don’t worry!! Im really glad to see other people talking about this. I myself have not struggled with drug addiction but I have struggled with other kinds and as someone that studies a bunch of medical junk, I’d say I’m decently knowledgeable.

I’m mainly going to focus on Angel for this since he’s the main character I write for, but I assure you other characters addictions are also handled in my rewrite.

During the actual canon show, we don’t see Angel actually abusing substances that often; there’s a few times, most notably in episode 4, but from the rest of the show onward we hardly see anything. Yes in episode 6 they mentioned relapsing, which, mind you, was done horribly, but I digress. They touch on relapsing; Angel relapses, and then… what..??? What happened from that? I don’t feel upset or second hand guilt of any kind from this scene because we haven’t seen Angel’s attempts to stay sobre and off drugs.

His name is fucking Angel Dust. You don’t, I dunno, think that’d entail a higher dependency on drugs? Why do you think he named himself that?

About his name before anything else, the show has so much potential later on to talk about Angel picking out his drag name and why he chose that specifically. So much potential to explore how he views drugs and himself. He sees them as an escape and something “fun” to take his mind off of his actual life. When you die in a fucking coma and wake up in hell as a spider you’re going to want an escape. You will want to ignore reality. I am fully convinced Angel picked his name once he started performing because thats what he needed at the time. He needs to be like that to survive in hell. Angel is an incredibly mentally ill, troubled, traumatised, and unstable person, and being surrounded by so much intense negative influence only amplifies his current problems. I don’t mean to drag Vox in here but in my last redesign post I mentioned how very mildly bad people can become even worse people in hell because of the environment and this is no different for Angel. He’s been surrounded by crime and drugs his entire life and unable to live comfortably because of his sexuality. He has very likely been struggling with substances since he was a teen. Possibly even younger. He is not going to suddenly get over his addiction because of something like this. It could pave the way to him looking into dealing with it, but things like this can take years. I don’t remember when my addiction started; I’ve been clean for 2 1/2 years now I think, but the amount of relapsing and anguish I experienced while working towards that isn’t something that can be done in a few days or months. I still struggle with feeling like I deserve to say I’m recovering.

I’m hoping they tactfully handle this as they should, but my hopes are low. It’s okay to show a character relapsing. It’s okay to show a character feeling guilty. What matters is that the struggle is there to signify they’re trying. For a character with a song called “Addict” you really don’t see much of it. Drug and alcohol addiction is not a silly thing to just twiddle your fingers with and be like “well I guess thats over!” It’s incredibly insensitive to do so.

Whenever I write about Angel’s struggles with addictions, I focus on how small they can feel until you realise what’s actually happening. Just me talking about my rewrite again, but to get my ideas out here: Angel smokes often. He smokes at the studio when he’s stressed, he smokes at the hotel when he’s stressed, he smokes at in alleyways when he’s bored, there’s almost no location he won’t, but sometimes he tries to smoke less. His lungs aren’t the same as humans and technically he has 2 pairs of lungs, but smoking causes him to cough. This is painful in general and especially painful for Angel since he has barbs going down the back of his throat. Imagine choking on sandpaper, kind of like that. It’s painful, he doesn’t like the sound, Fat Nuggets REALLY doesn’t like the sound, and it’s an overall inconvenience, so he tries to stop smoking as much. Periods like this usually go fine for him until the stress returns or he starts to feel the withdrawal. Withdrawal from any sort of addiction is terrible, and in Angel’s case, just from not smoking it worsens his mental state further. He becomes irritable and stressed and that stress leads to wanting to smoke again to calm down. He may resist a few times and those times should be praised, but he gives in eventually. One cigarette to calm down becomes two, then three, and before he can process himself getting carried away, the entire pack is gone. It’s things like this that make addiction horrible. It’s something that deeply scared me when I was struggling. When I was struggling I was still in the mindset of “I can stop when I want to” and then being so suddenly hit in the face with the realisation that I’m not longer in control of this is terrifying. I could not stop when I wanted to. There were even points where I didn’t want to stop. Even just getting the smallest glimpse of this in an incredibly serious manner with Angel Dust would surprise me. To think the bar is this low on a show that seemingly prides itself on tackling such sensitive topics like you said is appalling. Your show shouldn’t have to be told how to write itself.

[infinity-or-oblivion]

so my loa batkids au has gained a little traction and i’ve hit a bit of a wall when it comes to writing new stuff so here’s an infodump to hopefully kill my writers block xoxoxo

first of all, jason. my forever number one blorbo. there’s a bit of a role reversal here because compared to all the rest of them, jason arguably had it the easiest. like we’re not going to compare traumas but an argument could be made. i honestly don’t remember if i mentioned it at all in the actual series yet, but the story i have for jason is that his childhood with willis and catherine was about the same as canon/commonly accepted fanon, meaning he was homeless around nine years old. however, instead of living on the streets for years, it was only a few months tops before meeting bruce.

and bruce! this is very fun to me, but basically i was thinking that if he didn’t raise dick, then why couldn’t this version of bruce be younger? so bruce becomes batman in his early twenties, which is also around the time that he visits the league of assassins for training and damian is conceived. (for a little more about that, here) and bruce is roughly 25 when he finds a tiny 9-10 year old jason trying to steal his tires. just imagine that it’s so fucking adorable and heartbreaking ANYWAYS bruce, despite being overall a disaster, doesn’t let a malnourished 10 year old out to fight crime right away, so there’s a couple years between when jason first meets bruce and when he becomes a child soldier yayyyy!!!! but legit, it makes a lot of difference to jason, because you know how canon!jason has some self-esteem issues (for lack of a better term) around bruce not really loving him/seeing him as a son because bruce started training him as robin (and as dick’s replacement) immediately after adopting him- you know that whole thing? yeah well here, despite jason actually offering to help bruce as a vigilante, this bruce is like hell nah you’re literally ten years old and the size of a six year old no way, and those few years in between really stick in jason’s mind as solid proof that bruce really does love him, not for what use he can provide, but simply as a son. also being the only child definitely helps with that

(that little detail of jason and bruce’s relationship is slightly inspired by minimum height requirement, which is absolute batfam gold btw)

okay so. slight pet peeve of mine is in aus where dick isn’t the first robin, the legacy is still called robin for whatever reason (lookin at you reverse robins aus) because!!!!! how dare you erase mary and john grayson’s importance!!!!! (look there’s more nuance to it than that i know but. to put it simply it feels like flying graysons erasure to me) so in this au, jason can’t possibly be called robin. the real robin has been missing for roughly seven years at this point

and listen. i tried to be creative and come up with something cool and original for jason’s vigilante name i really did, but apparently i used all of my naming talent on nighthawk (fucking love that name for dick it’s so fantastic) so we just have bluejay. womp womp

also! on my list of things to expand on: main timeline stephanie!!! i’ve had an absolute blast making myself cry while writing every heart sings a song, incomplete and those who wish to sing always find a song, but spoiler steph will always be my babygirl. and duke!!!! i have not written barely anything for duke in this universe but believe me i have some Thoughts. perhaps even Ideas. basically a lot of steph&duke and steph&babs and steph&duke&babs because i love my little underrated trio

also just more babs in general, because like. i’ve had so many tiny little snippets of cass and babs and their sweet little relationship just sitting in my notes for literal years now that i really just need to organize and expand into their own fic. and yet. i have not done that. but rest assured cass&babs are very very important to me

such is the curse of female fanfic writers: always destined to fixate more on the male poor little meow meows than the female bad bitches. seriously what the fuck is up with that guys i don’t get it why does this happen

[heckinhacker]

hi so i was wondering if u could do one like “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.” but with kyle, like they are the same and everything, idk if u have already done it

Kyle Broflovski x Reader - South Park might be saved, after all??

Which means we get the version where Kyle meets someone similiar to himself! It's like a 'sequel', (but not really, more like an alternative version with same trope) to “Eric Cartman x Reader - South Park's days are OVER.”

Remember that when I write for South Park, they're teenagers at less(16 y/o minimum), adults at most! it's silly i write it every south park post but better safe than sorry~

I gave Kyle green color for easier reading experience in dialogues!

note: color code might be broken because lately tumblr on pc is being silly goofy

Kyle had a great grasp of how fucked up situations in south park are having occurances

Aaand he's pretty aware there will be noone else who understands him.

Or so he thought.

There is a new student announced to be in his class while you all were in 4th grade or so?

And you seemed not too quiet, nor too shy, but surely smart enough not to push yourself into any weird situations.

Teacher sat you both together and Kyle tries to talk you up-

"Hey! I'm Kyle, it's refreshing to have a new face around. Want to play with us on long break?"

It's nice to have a new group to play with, so you agree.

Ah, kids and their not complicated feelings, right? <3

You tag along, and you grew really quickly to dislike Cartman-

It's not hard to hate him he's UNBEARABLE,

Kyle wants to let out his signature "Shut up, fatass!"

but you beat him to it-

"Shut up, fatso, mama did not taught you to behave, or was she absent in your life like yo papa?"

You had NO idea he's fatherless and it made other guys go "OOOHHHH--"

you made yourself an enemy in Cartman,

but an ally in Kyle.

You seemed to have similiar nerdy interests,

From playing Stick of Truth and heroes,

to DnD (that he played online, because not with his group-- but he invited you into his new online session!!)

Beside Terrance and Philip, Kyle also liked that vampire/werewolf series called "Under Devil's grasp" that seemed mostly for girls or boring, yet he liked it in secret and once he caught you watching first episodes, just...because,

and then joined you, for his own re-watch and your first watch, he liked seeing how you reacted

"HOW COULD YOU?" you asked out of sudden once, in a call,

"How could I what?" Kyle asks, having you on speaker while he does his homework.

" YOU KNEW ALL THE TIME THAT BARRY WILL BE KILLED AND YOU DID NOTHING TO WARN ME, I GREW TO LOVE HIM AND NOW HE'S GONE."

"Well, you said no spoilers?"

"KYLE."

He giggles, "Plus he had death flags since always so-"

He's playing, it turns out Barry barely lived and hid for like season and a half to return in dramatical moment that he watched with you and you SCREAMED.

And he has a blast with your reactions <3

And so on, you bond over similiarities,

Over years you put many blood, sweat and tears into your friendship, and you're glued by hip. Kyle won't ever pick between you and Stan who is his closer friend, it would be even cruel to ask.

You two got along decently, good, not badly, but it always seemed you're more closer with Kyle than Stan.

You grew beside each other and your families became one, big family because of how close you've gotten between each other and made them grow closer. (Or not if your relation with them is bad)

No matter your family (or your own) relligion, you spend Hanukkah with Kyle and it's almost a norm of you being around.

Listen, Ike? Absolutely adores you. Kyle sometimes has a laugh your'e more of an older sibling than he is.

(Absolute bull, we all know Ike loves Kyle the most <3)

Kyle's family wanted to make little ride to nearest amusement park

Of course they suggested you go too! You're a part of the family already <3

You have the fun of your lives, all of you. Kyle's parents mostly chill around but you, Kyle and Ike are using all the activities possible while you can, stuffing yourselves with snacks and sweets.

Bad idea, if you'd ask me

You went to roller coaster and none of you paid no mind in that choice,

but Kyle's stomach DID pay a mind

Especially in a middle where he felt like throwing out

And hell, he did! But he took out his hat and puked int oit so noone got blessed with mix of dinner and snacks.

He was almost carried out of the roller coaster by you--

You decided to go to ferris wheel and call it after a day.

They were two-people cabin on the wheel, so Ike let you two have one while he went with some other random kid.

Ike is your biggest wingman, he did that on purpose of course. Little guy <3

When you're up high, alone, with Kyle, having option to look at all the view, you can't help but to look at little buildings under you, and then to take a peak at Kyle.

Oh boy, were you surprised when you met his gaze-

He blushed furiously and muttered "Sorry- Uh- did not mean to stare."

Of course - you did not mind, but that was SURPRISING.

You did not bother him about it though. Whatever he had in mind - nothing, or something, he will come around.

But you might've realised that you DO have feelings towards your childhood best friend. For sure.

You remember how I mentioned your shared liked series with Kyle, "Under Devil's grasp" ? Soo...

Imagine it was near end, and studio decided to make finale into movie, two and half hour long one.

It's a series you two follow since you were kids, OF COURSE you have to be there in the cinema.

You ride with Kyle to big city, with his freshly acquired driver license and shitty car of his.

You enjoy your WHOLE drive there, time spent in bigger city, it all was just amazing.

Series, even though it was mostly about vampires and werewolves, was called "Under Devil's grasp" and it's very questionable, for years there were just theories, yet the movie after all those years of content literally ended with said title as last words.

Y'all were crying already enough but it was such a HIT in the face

When you walked out of cinema you whipped your tears out of your eyes, so did Kyle, as you giggled and gushed about the ending of your beloved series.

Ride home was mixed, going from peaceful to chaotic, just atosphere was...magical. Lights of highway, music blasting loudly and Kyle jamming to it, while you take a glance with full adoration at him.

You sing a little, then you rest and sooner than later end up in South Park.

Kyle drives to your house first to drop you off, walks out of car to walk you to your door, and gazes at you.

"Thank you...for today. I had fun! I hope you did too."

"I did, you kidding me? Thanks for even offering. I...really appreciate it."

Kyle seems to hesitate, and then sighs deeply.

"...I love you."

" Yeah, good night to you too man- oh wait what the fuck-??"

"I...wanted to say so, and today's spent time with you made me realise I'd hate you to spend the day out of South Park with someone else. I'd hate for you to have late-night drives with somebody else, I'd hate to see you happy with somebody else because...well, I wish you stayed with me. Of course I mean- have fun with others, I just...I wish you'd keep your heart on my hands. It's fine if you'd prefer to stay friends, I hope it doesn't break our friendship. But I uh...I wanted to let you know."

...that was...a lot. Wow."

He thinks it's a rejection, but...

It's not, really

You grab his cheeks and kiss him before he can get into tangent of self-doubt.

Then smile at him,

and say:

"Information saved. Let's grab something to eat tommorow together too, alright, boyfriend?"

You smile and wave him away goodnight and closed your door.

...

"...boyfriend?"

He's so giddy pls <3

Other's reactions:

Ike:

FUCKING FINALLY 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALO.

My little dude was waiting for the moment you hold hands and kiss each other already for TOO LONG

I mean, don't kiss too much in front of him he'd gag, it's still his older brother we're talking about

but at least Kyle pinning over you days are OVER.

He congratulates you and gives you gift cards of "congratulations on marriage!" drew with crayons and pencils

My man Ike is an anime fan, he made you badass gift card <3

Stan:

Not surprised but surprised at the same time.

He's second biggest fan, first being Ike

He learned the news from Kyle himself the same night you became a thing, later Ike hit him up because he was excited BSHSH

He hears Kyle out and congratulates him A LOT

Kenny:

He kind off knew? everyone kind off knew but he was sure you were already dating so...

news were shocking because

"Weren't you dating already? damn-"

he was sure you're married and expecting a kid/j

he doesn't have strong reaction because, as I said, it's not much of a news for him not going to lie

Cartman:

He always tried taking away whatever Kyle loved the most

So he's salty he failed this time

He always makes you both miserable, with slightest show of affection he is making big clown show out of it

Enough that just guys ask you to STOP with PDA because Cartman is being fucking annoying

He's just that salty single friend man for sure <3

Lemme be honest, it's not one of my best works, but I have (I am in a middle of...) 9 days streak of work straight, I am exhausted beyond human belief, but maybe because my ability to hold my ground is shitty, thanks depreshon--

So yes, It's not my best piece, but it was pretty much expected, so :>

I wanted to tag @bath1lda because of "kyle kyle" spam ask hehe- I hope you, and everyone else who read it, a nice "have a good read" :>

[unsentlettersforpalestine]

Friday, April 5, 2024

Some people think I am insane because despite everything, I keep trying to raise awareness about Palestinian cause day in and day out. Some people say I am too "extreme" and I am so delusional to think that what I do matters. Some people think I can never stop the genocide against Palestinians—and maybe they're right—but that's no reason to quit. Palestinians are being massacred and we must do everything we can to help them achieve liberation. Irrespective of what people say or do, we must stay strong and keep speaking up. Because that's the bare minimum.

I know. It's easier said then done. But there's no alternative. If you have a functional heart then you can never be silent, do absolutely nothing and look away. Yeah, we get tired and frustrated and sad at times. I myself sometimes feel like my efforts are futile. There are times where I wonder why I keep doing the things that I do for Palestine—specifically why I keep writing. I have moments of:

"what's the point? at the end of the day, people will not listen to me anyway, right?"

"Am I trying to impress people?"

"Do I want to receive compliments from people?"

"Why can't I just be like those ignorant and apathetic people? Why can't I just ignore and pretend that there's no fucking genocide unfolding right in front of my eyes?

"Why do I always have the burning desire to keep writing and writing and writing?"

"Why do I always want to educate more and more people about Palestinian cause?"

"Maybe I should take some days off"

"My writing is crappy anyway so why bother?"

"Do I really think I can make a difference in this evil world?"

"Who the hell do I think I am?"

"Isn't it more enjoyable to just be like my friends who don't give a shit about all of this?"

"What can a piece of writing from an ordinary girl possibly do?"

But then I remember my goals. To raise awareness about Palestinian cause. To never let the world forgets what has been happening to Palestinians or more than 75 years. To never let people forget all the atrocities Israshit has been committing on Palestinians. To keep y'all engaged. To remind y'all that you are more than capable of doing something, anything to help Palestinians reach liberation. To encourage y'll to never give up on yourselves. To activate (or reactivate) you into mobilization. To recharge you and uplift y'all. Thank you for never choosing to quit. We've got this. And as always, FREE PALESTINE🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

[kitkats-and-kittens]

My issue with derision and how it deals with Marinette’s problematic behaviour.

Disclaimer before I make this post that I’m not an avid miraculous fan, so if I get things wrong feel free to correct me.

I used to watch it a lot as a kid but I’m not so into it now. The reason I’m making this post is because recently my little sister came over to visit me and she loves the series half to death. I decided to sit down and watch it with her just for fun, and long story short my ADHD hyper fixation kicked in and I ended up binging 2 whole seasons.

And OML the only thing that did was remind me why I stopped watching the show in the first place

As a kid I never liked Marinette’s character. That was more of a me problem though since back in season 1 there wasn’t really too much wrong with her, I was just having my whole ‘I hate girly things phase’ so I didn’t like her.

However When season 3 came out she was firmly cemented as my least favourite character. I didn’t like her weird, creepy behaviour as well as the fact that the writers didn’t really give her any flaws, or at least none that really effected the plot.

I think the thing that made me the angriest was the fact that no one seemed to address it. The writers didn’t seem to care, everyone in the show applauded and even encouraged her behaviour and everyone in the fandom seemed to love Adrienette. I couldn’t find anyone mentioning the fact that the girl literally broke into his house and it pissed me off to no end.

As it turns out though I wasn’t the only one offset by her behaviour as in one of the recent episodes ‘Derision’ the writers finally decided to address the huge distaste with Marinette’s actions.

Of course this show being what it is means that Marinette can’t have a single flaw, so instead of doing what I thought was the logical thing and having an episode where the staking is seen and addressed as a bad thing and Marinette takes measures to fix and develop herself the writers decide to just excuse it all by saying she was traumatised.

I hated the way they dealt with this.

First of all the writing was just lazy.

Her being suddenly traumatised by Kim despite having absolutely no issues with him anywhere else in the show? I thought that was stupid and not well thought out since this whole bit is just the writes slapping a bandaid solution on fans complaints. Also I’m vaguely certain that Kim has a canonical fear of spiders so why is he using them to prank Marinette of all people with?

Second of all it doesn’t do a good job of explaining why she was a stalker.

In the episode she says that it was because Kim broke her trust so she now refuses to get into a relationship with someone without knowing everything about them.

This is supposed to explain her weird behaviour towards Adrien but it doesn’t simply because this is shown to only be a problem with him.

It’s not like we catch her breaking into Luka’s house on multiple occasions so she can go through his things and sniff his pillow. Nor does she seem to care about finding out anything and everything about Cat Noir. I’m fine with this being the case when she’s ladybug since she doesn’t really show any romantic appeal towards him but as Marinette?

The show establishes that she has at minimum a crush on him and that’s all it took for her to start going after Adrien, and maybe you could say that she doesn’t have the means to stalk Cat Noir since she’s a civilian but we’ve seen repeatedly that she’s not above abusing her own superpowers to do so with Adrien.

Even the argument that she wants to protect secret identities is useless when you watch Ephemeral and see that she was completely on board with manipulating Cat Noir so she could expose his identity to a person without his consent.

I think the worst part for me however, is the fact that I could look past all the lazy writing and the pathetic excuses used to justify her actions if she’d done the bare minimum by apologising to Adrien.

Admitting to him what she’d done and telling him she was sorry. I would’ve liked it if the writers didn’t have Adrien forgive her (at least not right away) but I know they don’t have the capacity to have Marinette be genuinely in the wrong for anything so I would have settled for just an apology instead.

But they can’t even do that! All that happens is that Marinette promises to herself that she won’t do it anymore and as usual Adrien is left none the wiser.

Even though I’ve only recently gotten back into the show this episode along with Kuro Neko and the season 5 finale have shown me that I genuinely can’t ship Adrienette in good conscience anymore.

Marinette just lies to him about too much important stuff. It’s so unfair to him that he’s constantly kept out of the loop about things in his life that directly involve him and the people who do this face absolutely no consequences.

Heck even Gabriel got his happily ever after by bringing his wife back meanwhile Adrien is living a complete lie as the people he cares about reassure him that everything’s fine when it really, really isn’t.

I’ve seen people act like this episode somehow provides a good excuse to Marinette’s actions but barely anything is done in terms of character development so I have to disagree with them.

Anyway thanks for comin to my tedtalk if you want to argue with me in the comments please be respectful about it.

[some-bunniii]

Hi hi!!!! The way you write Luci is genuinely so dreamy🤭🤭

I noticed a part two was posted when I woke up for my 8am class, but I put off reading it until I got done with my other morning class. Felt very much like a reward❕❕

It’s so funny how in the tags you’ll put ooc Lucifer but honestly the way you interpret his character just feels right!

Like yes he’s a goofy silly goober, but like bros also the literal avatar of pride… king of hell and all that jazz, so seeing the more idk elegant(?) I feel like reverent is the word I’m looking for, side of hun in your writing style is absolutely delectable!!!

Also, do you study in a some field of art? You’re just very knowledgeable about the type of reader you’re writing about and it is very fascinating!

Like I know the bare minimum when it comes to that kind of content since the history courses I’m in are just the bare minimum/general ed just so I can get my few history credits and focus more on my education licensure centered courses 😅😭

Regardless!!! The banter! The slow burn! Charlie low-key being a wingwoman! The way you write has so much life and had me giggling like crazy while I was reading! I look forward to your future works😈🫶🫶

Hello!!

I’m so glad you enjoyed my take on Lucifer! I put OOC in the tag just because I was feeling my version of him was drifting slightly away from his silly self in ep. 5.

But after just watching the Finale, I can safely say my mix of goofy and serious Lucier turned out to be canon omg 😭 he’s such a dorky badass i love him so much

But you are right, he is the ultimate rizz master 🤭

And, for my knowledge on art history? I did it only for the fic, it felt right to try and write someone who’s made art their life & career, instead of someone who just likes to paint. So having knowledge in the history of art is a must. I just wanted to give the Reader depth without making them too OC-like and less immersive for the actual readers.

The Renaissance is a reoccurring theme because it’s one of the most artistically diverse eras in history, not only that, they also included a lot of biblical stories into their art. They also invented the pencil. They were cool AF *adam guitar solo*

And thank you for the words 🤍, I try my best to treat my writing like i’m watching a movie. Heavy dialogue, emphasis on small actions, character expression, etc.

Enjoy your day 👍

[galaxythreads]

To be honest, I don't know. If you'd asked me a few years ago I would have honestly said no and been kind of offended anyone could hold Loki accountable for anything. But the thing is - now, after a lot of therapy, I don't think that mental illness or distress is an excuse for hurting people unless it is a genuine psychosis. If I was Loki's lawyer, which I'm not, I would say he was experiencing temporary insanity (a type of psychosis sort of) at the end of Thor 1.

But here's the thing, even if Loki wasn't really aware that what he was doing was wrong - did he still hurt the people around him? Yes. He did. Thor will carry lifelong mental scars from that fight. So to me, it's a gray area. Loki may not have understood what he was doing was wrong per se, but Thor was still hurt anyway. And this is not, in any way, a trade-off. Thor has hurt Loki in the movie, so Loki gets one free pass for all that he did to Thor? No. Not how this works. You don't get to hurt someone just because they hurt you. Like that works in fiction as motivation because it's fiction. Thor was hurt, and Loki was hurt. Their relationship is a mess and that was the point of the movie. They both hurt each other.

In the Avengers, Loki's official, MCU given body count may be 80-160ish people, but what about injuries? Mental trauma in the aftermath? Grieving loved ones? That's a minimum of 1000+ people affected.

And here's a not-so-secret secret: I don't think Loki was mind controlled in A1. I don't.

I know MCU has said Loki was being influenced by the scepter, but what does that even mean? They've never explained and Loki doesn't behave the same way that Clint or co did when they were mind-controlled. The scepter clearly has WEIRD effects on people, but what that means for Loki is ?????? They've never explained that further than a couple of sentences and before I accept this as being like canon-canon, I have to know what that means.

I will happily die on the hill that he was tortured by Thanos -- you will pull that from my dead, rotting fingers -- and that is a type of coercion that would absolve a lot of guilt, but I do and don't think Loki bares some responsibility for the invasion. I don't know. It's a gray area. I like the idea that Loki was tortured and then he agreed to attack New York to escape it. Mostly because I'm not afraid to wrap characters in darkness. I think Loki is allowed to have done something awful to escape something equally awful. Gray area. I'm not afraid to poke at the gray area.

But the thing is? Even if Loki 100% absolutely bares blame for Thor 1 and Avengers 1, canon matters very little to me in MCU anymore. They haven't given me anything I was happy to accept into my personal canon since Infinity War. I write fics with whatever now. I characterize Loki off of OG Loki and will continue to do so until I die, sometimes I put in that he was mind-controlled, more often than not I don't. I write Loki as a good person who did an awful thing to escape a worse thing that defines the rest of their existence but they're still trying to be a good person anyway. When I engage with Thor 1, I write Loki as having gone through a massive psychosis, but still having hurt Thor. I write Thor and Loki's relationship as both of them having hurt the other but still willing to burn down worlds for each other. Y'know, just a tad (lot) unhealthy. (But in a fun way because this is fiction and no one is hurt by it). Like my version of canon is slightly detached from canon and I know that, but like? I don't care. No one cares? Do you know the amount of comments I've gotten about a character being ooc in the last 1-2 years in MCU?

0.

Because what even is canon at this point? I could write Loki as literally anything and there would be a canon justification for it because Loki's canon characterization is such a mess now that there's no "correct" version of him anymore.

Like guys -- I write about Hela being a good sister. Do you think canon backs that? Absolutely not. Do I care? No?????? no I don't. She, Thor, and Loki are the best siblings in my heart and I will continue to write about that despite what canon says.

Once I let go of the idea that every character I like is secretly a 100% moral human being who is free of any guilt or terrible things, it relieved a lot of guilt and expectations I have for the characters. One of my main characters in my original book series has a body count in the actual millions and I absolutely adore them, okay? Because it's fiction. No one is hurt by me liking this character. I'm not going to start advocating for death. I've liked Loki since I was 15, and I didn't grow up to be a murderer. Honestly, now I kind of prefer the little bit of darkness because redemption stories are just my Thing TM. I love, love taking the dark or dark-adjacent characters and then dragging them into a found family against their will.

So I don't need Loki to be free of all guilt in order to like him. But I'm also happy to explore the idea that he is because it's fun either way. Darkness or less darkness, he's still just Loki.

(That's why I'm having fun with the Loki season 2. Because to me it's like a fic that took one interpretation of what happened and rolled with it. Because canon is whatever at this point. Loki in the series did attack New York by choice. Does that strictly agree with canon of A1? No. Absolutely not. They're ignoring so much, but the series isn't about that event specifically even as much as I wish it WAS, it's about Loki's relationship with the other characters. Idk. It's complicated.)

Fics are often a love letter to canon, an exploration/extension of what canon is, but other times they're someone looking at canon and going "WHY." and then rewriting it. I'm in the latter part now. I used to be the former, but MCU is just. MCU now. So I kind of looked at Loki and Thor, took a cookie cutter to both of them and then left with that. There's still other dough, but I don't care about it.

So yes I hold him accountable. And no. And kind of both?