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be-with-me-so-happily · 2 years

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Chapter 10

Series Summary: There are moments in our lives that have a major impact. The interactions, the adventures, and the love, all make up who we are. But when Harry can't remember those moments with YN, they are both left wondering what that means for themselves and their relationship.

Chapter Summary: Well, I think some of you wanted this, a version of it anyway, so here it is! It's a shorter chapter because I didn't want to stretch things out with unnecessary filler. Plus it's the lead-up to the next (and potentially last) chapter.

If it sucks, I blame it on being sick.

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Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, cut on hand, mention of blood and glass, mention of ex-girlfriend, airports, and angst

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"Fuck!"

The sting of the wound on your hand just accompanies the pain in your heart. As you begin to wash the blood away under the water of the kitchen sink, you hear a knock at your front door. Frustration instantly fills you, wishing Adhira would just give you some space that you want tonight, but knowing she won't. Only because she cares. It just isn't convenient for you at the moment.

You look up and notice that you, yet again, left the door unlocked, so you relent.

"Come in…" You grumble, loud enough for her to hear from the other side, turning your focus back to cleaning your hand. You hiss at the sting again as you hear the door creak open.

"YN…?"

Your body freezes instantly as you hear that beautiful, deep, British voice that once disintegrated every ounce of pain you had ever felt. But now your cut isn't the only pain you feel, and the one person who could usually take it away is the one who caused it.

Your eyes shoot up to see him, and as he slowly takes a few more steps inside, you see his gaze drop to your hand.

"Shit! Are you alright?"

Before you can respond, he rushes over to you, narrowly missing the pile of broken glass on the floor, before appearing next to you at the sink.

He gently grabs your hand and assesses your wound, his brows furrowed with concentration. Every fiber in your body instantly reacts to his touch and your heart begins to race. You haven't felt it in so long. You've missed the warmth and tenderness. All you can manage to do is stare.

"Stay right there." He states, swiftly moving into the bathroom and almost immediately showing up right beside you again.

He takes your hand into his and squeezes the antiseptic cream onto your cut, causing you to wince in pain.

"M'sorry. You alright?" He asks as he reaches over to the counter and grabs the bandage he brought from the other room.

"Harry-"

"Almost done." He interrupts, full concentration on his task. The task of taking care of you. Of your wound. If only it were that easy for the rest of the hurt you're feeling.

You have become frozen in a daze, still unable to comprehend what he is doing here and why he is tending to the slice in your hand that seemed to also be the final cut to your heart. If ever there was a sign to leave, that was it, literally penetrating your skin wide open.

With the bandage secured, still holding your hand in his, he runs his thumbs gently over your palm. His eyes flicker all over your skin and he twists your arm and then switches to the other.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" He asks quietly, his voice alone being soft enough to cuddle into.

You shake your head as his eyes shoot up to yours, seeming to wait for words that you know won't come. Not yet. You're empty.

"What happened?" He straightens up his stature, turning towards the remnants of what was once your water glass.

You follow him around the kitchen to see the remaining evidence of your most pitiful moment.

"I… uh… I tripped." You manage to reply.

He motions you to the couch, walks right over to the hallway closet, and grabs a broom. He carefully makes his way around the broken glass, making sure to get every visible piece

And your eyes remain glued on him. What is normally considered such a simple, thoughtful gesture has caused you to become rigid. You still don't know why he is doing this. Or why he is even here to begin with.

Of course, the unusual reaction just strengthens the confirmation that everything has changed. Your normal with Harry is no longer normal, and is no longer with Harry.

The sound of the closet door closing finally snaps you out of your daze and anxiety ripples through every ounce of your body. He saw and cleaned your hand, then saw and cleaned your mess. You still do not know why he arrived at your apartment in the first place, and every muscle tenses. That's what is left for him to do. To tell you. And whatever it is, you are sure you would rather not hear it.

"Alright. All clean." He states, casually washing his hands in the kitchen sink, as if it's any other normal day together. He dries them off and places one hand on his hip, running the other through the curly locks you wish you could twist between your fingers one more time. "So, you're alright?"

You nod, eyes fixated as you watch his expression transform from calm and caring to chaotic and concerned. His chest begins to rise and fall frantically. You could swear yours has already matched its rhythm.

"What happened tonight, YN?"

"I-... I told you… I tripped." You stutter, attempting to gather your thoughts. Why is he here? Why does he care? What does he want?

"That's…" He pinches the bridge of his nose, his expression, with the undertone of frustration, softening with every rapid breath he takes. "That's not what I meant."

"Harry. Why are you… here…?"

His eyes shoot up to yours, and his expression is indiscernible.

"I wanted to talk to you."

You figured as much, though your emotions begin to run high. There's only so much more you can take, and if this conversation is going to go the only way you can assume it will, it might actually, fully, break you.

"But you left the bar so quickly." He adds. You notice he takes a few steps in your direction, and that is when your body stiffens. Your emotions, however, are still unclear. Everything about Harry is mesmerizing. You know your heart still loves him, and clearly your body is not aware of the pain you've been through, because as he steps closer, the beating of your heart increases dramatically.

Maybe the fact that everything is changing is a good thing, at least in part. If you can't be around each other anymore, your throat won't get dry and your hands won't get shaky. You won't feel dizzy, in that fun lustful way, and you won't want to be held by him forever.

You'll be able to reset and not react with yearning whenever he is in the room. Because you can't feel any of that any more. You won't. He didn't choose you. He doesn't want you. Not his heart, his mind, or his body wants you. And every part of you needs to remember that.

You shake your head to shake out your thoughts and regain your gaze only to find him staring back at you. You haven't responded and he seems to be waiting.

"I didn't want… I mean, you…" You sigh, knowing that it is all coming down to this moment. The moment you get the confirmation that this is over. The thought, and the hope, that you'll be together is about to truly be destroyed. Therefore, you might as well lay it all out there.

"I didn't want to stay!" You exclaim, watching as his eyes widen.

"I was hoping you would-" When a subtle smirk appears on his face, shock shoots through your veins.

"Are you serious?" The reason for your rapid heart rate transitions from desire to anger almost immediately. How could he think you could stay? And just be okay? How could he possibly think you'd want to listen to him sing about the ex-girlfriend he has now chosen over you? You understand his memories are compromised, but his logic isn't. At least, you didn't think it was.

"Well, yeah, I just-"

"You walked out on opening night…" You grit your teeth, no longer feeling timid and flustered. Now you feel anger. And the pain you've been feeling for over a month. You want to get this over with. "Listen. Clearly, it's better if we aren't around each other. I walked out because…"

Harry's eyes close and his head drops down as he crosses his arms across his chest. From everything you know about him, you know that stance means he's bracing himself. But you can't understand why. You cannot fathom a reason as to why he cares that you walked out.

"Because it's too much for me."

He steps even closer, lifting his eyes back to you, and you curse your body for still reacting in such a flustered way. You are right, it's better if you aren't around each other.

"What do you mean?" He asks with a soft tone. He is infuriating. He can't be that clueless, but he also shouldn't be getting this close to you either.

"Harry…" You swallow down the lump in your throat as he sits down on the coffee table in front of you. It causes you to shift in your spot, moving over a few inches so that your eyes aren't directly opposite of his.

This isn't fair. How he's acting isn't fair. Of course, he isn't the one who is left broken-hearted, so of course he's acting so casually. He got what he wanted. It's just not you, and you're the one who is left with nothing.

"I think you should leave." You mutter, bringing your thumb up and placing the nail between your teeth. His breath hitches, as if surprised by your statement.

"YN-..."

"I don't understand why you're even here! You chose Tabitha! I get it! You don't remember me, you don't remember us. But I do! I know you, I know us. And it's too much for me to be at a bar with our friends and watch you sing songs about her! Watch you sing songs that used to be about me! It's too much! And I can't do it. Okay? I can't."

"Just let me-"

"I can't watch you kiss her, Harry. I can't watch you love her. I can't watch you have the life with her that you wanted with me! It's too much. And…" You sigh, only hurting yourself with this decision but feeling it's the best thing for you. "I have to put some distance between all this."

"Wait, what?" His breath becomes shallow. You can just see from the corner of your eye that his leg begins to bounce and he starts fidgeting with his rings.

"I'm gonna move away. Be closer to my parents."

Suddenly, the warmth of his palm is pressed against the top of your hand, and you close your eyes for a moment to dwell in his touch once again. One last time. Your eyes meet his and see pain. And sadness. A deep sadness you don't know if you've ever seen before.

"Please don't leave, Cupcake, plea-"

"I can't stay here Harry! I need to-..." You sit up straighter and your eyes go wide. You can't determine if your mind is playing tricks on you, but if it is, it's the most evil thing you've ever done to yourself. "What did you just say?"

"Please don't leave."

"No… not that…"

"Cupcake." He quickly responds, a subtle smirk appearing on his face. Your eyes lock on his, attempting to gather more information just from your stare alone, since only heavy breathing fills the room

"Do… do you… you used to…" You stumble through your sentence, still in complete shock and confusion. Maybe you bumped your head when you fell. It's possible that this is all just a dream. A very, very cruel dream. A single tear runs down your cheek and Harry's finger quickly moves up, grazing across your skin with a gentleness that could solve any problem that came your way.

"I used to call you that." He states, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, matching the tenderness you felt against your cheek. "I remember."

"What?" You respond with breathiness. "What… What do you… remember?"

"Everything." He smiles, grazing your knuckles again lovingly. "I remember that your favorite color is blue, but specifically a Caribbean blue that only you can pick out. I remember how you ask to pet every dog we pass by, making me think we will need one someday. I remember how we met, I remember kissing in the rain, I remember how loved you always make me feel. I remember everything, Cupcake. You, us, everything."

You stare blankly, all ability you had to function properly has been wiped away along with that recent tear. You have thought about this moment since he first asked if you were the one to hit his car that night. So many nights you cried yourself to sleep, wishing this moment would come, and dreamt every night of the possibility. Every time you saw him, or heard his name, or did something that even remotely reminded you of him, you had hope that he would love you again.

So why, once you have received exactly what you have been longing for, does no happy and relieved expression display across your face? Why are your arms not flinging around his neck, and your mouth not passionately pressed against his? Why have your eyes dropped their gaze down to where he touches your hand, and a subtle frown appears between your brows? Why do no words leave your lips?

"YN?" Harry asks, scooting closer to the edge of the coffee table and your knees touch his.

"So you're not… with Tab-"

"No! Definitely not! No!

"Did…" You wince at the thought that pops into your head, and your heart prepares itself to drop back down from the spot it began lifting up to. "Did you… sleep with her?"

"No!" He instantly exclaims again, his eyes wide, making his green irises shine in shock. "YN, no. I promise. No."

You manage a nod.

"Did you do… anything… with her?"

His gaze now drops and your heart begins to sink back down. The moment at Tasty Palace, where your heart shattered at the sight of him with her, replays almost as clearly in front of you as Harry is now. He had his arm around her. He was whispering in her ear. He was making her giggle. His answer could be yes.

"We, umm, went on a date… well, it was just dinner…" He runs the back of his neck, and you almost wish you couldn't read him like a book. "And, shit… we sort of… kissed afterwards."

You let out a gasp, small enough that Harry may not have even noticed, but he clears his throat and squeezes your hand tighter.

"It was nothing, YN."

"Except it wasn't." You utter, another tear trickling down your cheeks, this time not for a potentially good reason. It hurts. It still hurts to think about. Even though Harry's memory was gone, and even though he was confused, it still happened. It still meant something to him at that moment. You saw it, and you felt it. And that meant something to you. That meant heartbreak.

"I was confused!" He exclaims, placing his finger under your chin to bring your eyes up to his. There's still sadness in them. "I love you, YN. Only you. I promise."

"I love you too, Harry." You utter, without hesitation, and you see a grin begin to form across his face. "I never stopped loving you."

The grin disappears, and he closes his eyes, letting a tear escape just as you had moments before.

"I know you didn't… know… or mean to hurt me. But now I know how that feels…" You clear the lump in your throat, attempting to hold back the sobs that are threatening to burst out. "I know what it feels like… to lose you."

You can't hold back, and the sobbing starts. Warmth wraps around you as Harry's arms do, now sitting right beside you and pulling you into his chest. You so desperately wish that you could feel all the pain melt away in his embrace.

"I'm here, Cupcake." He whispers, kissing your head, and leaving dampness from his own tears in your hair. He pulls back and grabs your cheeks with his palms, his gaze flickering between your eyes as they stare back at him. They move to your lips and instantly you feel the pressure of his against them. A whimper escapes you, but as your lips are still connected, you frown. Was it out of passion, or pain? It didn't feel perfect, like it usually does. Then thoughts flash before you, yet again, and you pull away.

"I… can't." You utter, being tortured by the image of Harry leaning in to Tabitha, and looking at her longingly. You would do absolutely anything to erase that from your own memory. You would do anything to make the pain from the past several weeks be healed by this moment. It should be. This is everything you've wanted. But maybe your heart is too broken to receive it. "I love you. But I can't."

"YN, please." He whimpers back, and you recognize that both yours and his have been out of pain. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll do whatever it takes to make this right. I love you. I love you, YN. Tell me what you need, and I'll give it to you!"

You stay silent. You had not even thought it would come to this. This moment was supposed to be a lot different. You don't even know what you need, because you didn't prepare for this. You didn't think you'd need to. And now, you gain a little more sympathy for Harry. He was so confused, as you are now. You, in fact, may be on an entirely other level, since you actually know that you love Harry but can't seem to agree to be with him again. At least his excuse was that he didn't remember you.

"Time." You reply. You hate that word was your response. Harry needed time and look where it led you. Heartbroken. "I need time. To clear my head."

"Are you… still leaving?" He mumbles, causing your heart to squeeze tight. You hate that this has become so complicated, so painful.

"Yeah. Just for a bit." You respond, suddenly more conflicted than you've ever been before. But this will be good. You need this. "I just need… time. I'm sorry."

"S'okay, YN." He answers immediately, throwing you off guard. He really meant it when he said he will give you whatever you need. He didn't fight it, which is actually the reaction you need at this moment.

He kisses your forehead one last time and stands up from the couch, and you quickly join as you walk him to the front door. He stops as he grabs the door handle, a familiar action of hesitation that you've become accustomed to doing recently.

He turns around slowly, gently grasping your hands into his and kissing the knuckles of both, going over each more than once.

"But I won't give up on us." He whispers, sending a once distant feeling sparking through your body. "You're the love of my life, Cupcake. I won't give up unless you tell me to."

•••

As you lay on the couch, curled up into Harry's body, with the last episode of 'Friends' playing on the television, you look up and see his index finger over his lips.

"I think those airport scenes are a bit cheesy."

"What?" You pull back and gasp. "You're, like, the biggest fan of rom-coms and romantic gestures!"

He shrugs and looks down at you with a smirk, rolling his eyes.

"Dunno, just seems unreasonable." He shrugs, kissing your lips and hovering just in front of them as you feel his warm breath breeze against your skin. "But I'd do it for you, if I had to."

"Well, you won't." You whisper back, brushing the tip of your tongue against him.

He lunges forward, pushing you down onto the couch as he hovers over you, his cross necklace dangling down like a hypnotizing pendulum. Even though he is mesmerizing all on his own.

"Good." He replies, a sultry tone to his voice. He bites his lips and softly runs his hand up from your hip, pushing under your shirt, and stopping just at your ribcage. Your breathing becomes rapid, and a heat rushes to your core, as his fingertips graze your skin.

Suddenly a tingle ignites and your body begins to squirm as he tickles your most tender spot, causing you to squeal out giggles between labored breaths.

"Harry! Stop!" You laugh, doing your best to push him away, aware that your attempts are wasted. "Stop or I'll change my mind!"

"Don't you dare!" He growls, and you open your eyes to see a mischievous smirk on his face. He picks up the pace of his motions as you writhe under his body. Not that you mind too much. To be honest, it's one of your favorite places to be, besides in his arms. "Please take it back."

You manage a nod, catching your breath as he props himself up on his palms.

"Harry…" You breathe out, running your hands over the strong arms you can only ever feel safe in. "I can't picture a time that I'd ever want to leave you."

It's been a week since your talk with Harry, and as you look at your plane ticket, and the faces of your closest friends, you wonder if you're doing the right thing.

"Just leave already, Didi! Fuck!" Adhira snaps, crossing her arms and rejecting your attempt for a hug.

"Harsh." You respond, knowing full well that she isn't actually trying to be rude.

"Yeah, well, I feel abandoned." She replies, scoffing as the words leave her lips. You grab her arms anyway and pull her in, smiling as you feel hers wrap around you anyway.

"You're acting like I'm headed to South Africa or something!" You exclaim, looking around to see the solemn gazes of Steven, Gemma, and Anne as well.

"You're joking, right?" Gemma growls. "You're moving away! Doesn't matter where. We won't see you!"

"I'm going to visit… to… test it out. I haven't decided yet…" You quietly reply, unsure if your words were heard through the busy airport.

"Yeah, but we know that once you put your mind to something, it's most likely gonna happen." Adhira argues, crossing her arms back in front of her chest like a toddler who has been told not to eat cookies before dinnertime.

You let out a deep exhale and try to keep your composure among the thousands of people bustling around you. You thought being without Harry would be the hardest thing you'd have to do, but this is definitely competing for that spot. At least a close second.

"I'll be back in three weeks. Okay?" You open your arms up for a big group hug.

Once you let go, Anne pulls you in again, kissing your temple and resting her chin on your shoulder.

"You always have us, YN. Alright?" She whispers in your ear, and you rest your face in the crook of her neck. "And I'm sorry."

"For what?" You whisper back, pulling yourself out of the embrace closest in resemblance to Harry's.

"I couldn't find him this morning." She replies, momentarily dropping her gaze. She looks up to you with sadness in her eyes, almost as if it's for both you and Harry. It makes sense, and you're just so grateful for all the love she's given you throughout the years, especially these last couple of months. "I thought he'd come."

"It's okay Anne." You reply, making the statement more for her comfort than your own, considering you're not sure how much you believe it.

You give one more round of hugs, assuring Adhira you'll be back, encouraging Steven to draw up some of his own designs for new clients while you're gone, promising Gemma you'll keep in touch, and thanking Anne for everything she's done.

As you make your way up the escalator and to the security checkpoint, you turn back around, scanning the blurry faces of your loved ones through your tear-filled eyes. Your heart sinks a little and you realize you did have some hope that Harry would come. Even if it wasn't to convince you to stay, you thought he would at least say goodbye.

Maybe he didn't want to give you time. Maybe he did give up.

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If you like what I post, and want to just send some extra support, I have a ko-fi account. Even the smallest amount is greatly appreciated. There is no obligation or expectation to donate, because I am honestly just so grateful that you're here! 💗 Bee xx

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be-with-me-so-happily · 2 years

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Chapter 11

Chapter Summary: It's the final one, my friends. We're finishing on how we started, from YN's perspective, just as I feel like it should be. This takes place once YN gets home from staying with her parents, about a week after she gets back, which is about 5 weeks from the time she and Harry last saw each other.

Thank you for being here, for reading this series, and for all the support! I'm glad you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it and I truly hope you enjoy this ending. 💗 Bee xx

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Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language

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As you sit in the bridal suite, admiring the gorgeous floral henna design being tattooed on the top of your right hand, you smile as you watch both Priya and Aman's mothers dancing around together while music fills the room.

"So… YN…" You hear Priya state, causing you to turn enough to face her in the chair next to you. "How are you feeling?"

"This is so much fun Priya, and the design is amazing! Not as stunning as yours, but that goes without saying, since you're the bride. But thank you for this. I figured it was just for family so I'm really honored that I was invited this morning."

"Oh hush. It's not, and you are family anyway! Of course I want you up here!" She waves off your statement, giving you a wink. "But I meant later… how are you feeling about… later today…?"

"This is your wedding day, and you want to know how I'm doing?" You chuckle, looking over at Adhira and giving her a scowl, realizing what Priya is referring to, and knowing Adhira couldn't hold back giving her soon-to-be sister-in-law the details of your relationship, or potentially lack thereof.

"Exactly. It's my wedding day. I want to know how you feel." She states, a somewhat curious, but mostly compassionate glint in her expression. "Well, truthfully, it's a need. I need to know. Because I feel bad that Harry will be here if it's going to be too painful for you. It's just a couple of songs, cover songs, but I can just tell him-"

"No, Priya! It's alright. I didn't want you to stress about finding another band. I knew he would be here." You assure her, placing your free hand over hers. "Please, I'm fine. Don't worry about me, this day is about you!"

"Well, in that case, bring on the mimosas, because today is also about drinks and dancing!"

"And love!" You add sincerely.

•••

You crunch down on a piece of toast, walking over to your little dining table with nothing but one of Harry's oversized t-shirts and some of your lace panties on.

Harry groans and you look up, finding him nearly chewing holes in his bottom lip.

"You look too good." He mumbles deeply, squirming in his chair across from you. You can't help but feel a little satisfied at the fact that you are teasing him without even trying.

"I just got out of bed…" You respond coyly, brushing off his compliment as if you're oblivious to what you're doing to him.

"Doesn't matter." His dimples cave with a mischievous smirk. "It's one of my favorite ways to see you. Not my top favorite, but definitely up there."

Your mouth drops open and he immediately points over to you.

"Yep, that's another one of them!"

You hurl a piece of toast in his direction, extracting an exuberant laugh, which causes your heart to flutter.

He takes the last bite of his pancakes, gathering his plate with a wide grin still plastered all over his face. Once everything is in the sink, he walks back over and squats down next to you. "This actually is my favorite way to see you."

"Right." You roll your eyes.

"M'serious!" He exclaims. "I wouldn't mind waking up to it every single morning, from now til… no, that's it. That's the answer."

"Yeah, we'll see." You joke, unable to deny the chaos of butterflies swirling throughout you. There isn't anyone you'd rather wake up with either.

"Yes, we will." He kisses your cheek and stands up, shuffling towards the bathroom door. "But right now, we better get ready to meet up with everyone, or Addy is going to kill us."

You get up and clear your plate, walking to follow Harry, but stopping to see him eyeing you up and down.

"What?" You giggle. "Stop looking at me like that!"

"You're so gorgeous. And I will never stop looking at you like this!"

After making conversation with most of Adhira and Aman's relatives, you take the opportunity, before the ceremony begins, to walk through the grand foyer of the luxury hotel.

The designer in you can't help but be fascinated by all the little details, so you pull out your phone and walk around, taking photos of almost everything you see.

You look down, making sure the photo you took of some artwork came out clearly, when you turn around and bump your shoulder into whomever was passing by.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" You exclaim, locking the screen and looking up apologetically. Your eyes grow wide as you see those beautiful and unmistakable green rounds staring back at you.

"S'alright. Not the first time you've done it." Harry chuckles, causing all breath to leave your body.

You knew you'd see him today, it isn't a surprise, but you weren't exactly expecting to be standing this close, feeling his warmth, smelling his familiar scent, feeling flustered by the gaze that always penetrates your soul.

"Right." You nod, feeling your throat as dry as it's even been. "Umm… how are you?"

"M'good." He responds quickly, lacking any sort of detectable emotion to give you a hint of how he really feels. "You?"

"Yep. Me too. Good." You mumble, feeling a little embarrassed as to how unconvincing your answer may have come across.

"That's good to hear." He clears his throat, crossing his arms over his chest, which usually isn't the most positive gesture coming from him. "Would… would you be up for having a conversation later?"

Your stomach twists a little. For some reason, the way he worded that question was so different and unsettling, but you figure it's needed, so you give him a quick nod.

"Okay. I'll connect with you sometime tonight then." He states, giving a quick smile. He turns around as you both notice everyone begin to shuffle towards the French doors leading outside. "I better go. But it was nice to see you."

"You too." You smile back, feeling the knot tighten as he turns around.

He swivels back to you and runs his hand through his hair.

"I hope it's okay to say… you look really nice." He utters.

"It is. Thank you." You utter, hoping he can hear your words but not the nervousness in your tone. "You do too."

He gives you one last smile and makes his way out the doors, presumably to set up before the wedding party is ready to make their entrance.

It takes a moment for you to gather control of your motor function, when you feel another presence next to you.

"Are you alright, Didi?" Adhira asks. You release a breath you didn't realize you had been withholding, especially considering you thought it had all left your body as soon as you saw Harry.

"Yeah, I'm… yeah. I'm alright."

"Well, I don't really believe that, but others might." She giggles, wrapping her arm around your shoulders. "What did he say?"

"He wants to talk later." You reply, feeling your stomach twist even tighter.

"And what do you want?" She asks.

You think for a moment. The time and space you had while visiting your parents was good, mainly because you got to spend time with them. You did get the clarity you needed, which wasn't hard to do. But in terms of what you have, or don't have, with Harry, now feels like it's still up in the air. It unnerved you to hear him suggest a conversation, even though it's definitely needed. It's just the way he said it that's got you uneasy. So stoic. Maybe you were right before, maybe he did change his mind. Maybe he did give up. Having to wait for those answers is going to drive you crazy.

"I guess, firstly, I want to know how he feels."

"Well…" She begins, slowly shuffling the two of you towards the doors, stopping before the exit as you look out to the gathering of their family and friends. "You'll find out tonight."

She gives you a squeeze and leaves your side to rejoin the bridal party, as she has the role of a bridesmaid, so you take a deep breath and step through the doorway.

A seat on the end of a row, in the middle of the right section, seems like a good enough spot. You should be able to see the couple at the altar, and nothing else. No one else. You want to be able to focus on the ceremony, since that's ultimately what you are here for.

A piano and drum melody begin to play and you turn towards the doors as the officiant walks out, followed by Aman with his parents.

Maybe it's the way you say my name

Maybe it's the way you play your game

But it's so good

The female voice catches you off guard, considering Harry was presumably the one to be performing the entry song, and your head uncontrollably shoots over to where the band is located. You smile as you see Ny Oh towards the front, her mouth to the mic, as her fingers run along the keys. Your eyes travel to Sarah and Mitch, also seeing Elin standing close by. Then, by habit, they land on Harry. He is still towards the front, but has his head down, bobbing as he gently strums his acoustic guitar. The way his hair is falling down can cause any girl to swoon, and it usually does, but it elicits so many feelings in you. And memories. You've seen it happen when he's playing, when he's sad, when he's hiding a blush or a smirk. Even when he's hovering over you on the bed and looking at you with intense passion.

As the first pairing of the bridal party passes through your vision, you turn your attention back to the next ones walking down the aisle.

'Cause I'm in a fields of dandelions

Wishing on every one that you would be mine

Your gaze shoots back over to the band as you hear Harry come through the speakers with his low harmony.

And I see forever in your eyes

I feel okay when I see you smile, smile

This song is for Aman and Priya, but as you notice Harry has found you within the crowd, all of your feelings grow more intensely. You must have missed Adhira passing by because suddenly everyone begins to stand, and the chorus is repeated as Priya walks down the aisle with her mother and father on each side of her.

Tears are forming in the corners of your eyes and you try to convince yourself that they are solely due to how beautiful Priya looks in her jeweled red wedding dress, and the sparkle you see on Aman's face as he reaches his hand out for her. The tears are for those reasons and nothing else.

The melody continues as the ceremony begins, the couple keeping it short and sweet, since they are bigger fans of the actual celebration.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." The officiant states, snapping you out of a daze you didn't know you had been in. "You may kiss the bride!"

The melody picks up and Ny Oh sings the chorus once more, accompanied by Harry's background vocals, as everyone up front walks back down the aisle, and the crowd cheers. You clap along, unintentionally shifting your focus to the band. Your gaze meets Harry's, and you can't immediately turn away. The sudden thought that you've never been more jealous of a microphone enters your mind as he continues with the lyrics, eyes fixed on you. A hot blush rises to your cheeks and you manage to break eye contact just as the rest of the guests are encouraged to make their way inside.

•••

To your delight, and relief, you find that your seat at the reception is right next to Jordan. As well as you know a lot of the family members attending, it'll be nice to have a close friend to go through the night with.

"Hey! Ready for a wild night?" He exclaims as you sit down, placing your glass of champagne on the table in front of you.

You give a small smile and shake your head, with the intention of showing how well you know how crazy things can get with the family. You've been a part of it since you were young, but Jordan had to quickly become accustomed to it when he started dating Adhira. With that in mind, and the situation with Harry, this will definitely be an interesting experience.

"It'll be one for the books." You nod, quickly taking a sip of your drink.

"Are you doing alright?"

You nod again. "Yeah."

"Are you gonna talk to him?"

"He wants to." You reply, placing your glass down and beginning to fiddle with the stem. "I mean, I guess I do too."

"Yeah. You'll find out how he feels." He replies, taking a sip of his own drink. The wording is odd, and causes an inquisitive look to show on your face, only to be met by a shrug from him. "Right?"

You shrug as well, and your ears pick up on the soft instrumental that begins to play. This time, you control your gaze and turn directly towards the doorway leading into the banquet hall where everyone is seated, watching the bridal party begin to saunter in.

The beaming grins on the faces of both Aman and Priya make you feel so good. They truly belong together. You're so happy that they are so happy. They immediately make their way to the dance floor, and you must have forgotten to keep a handle on your focus, because your gaze travels over to the band yet again. Your heart stops as you see Harry already gazing back at you, and he steps closer to the mic.

The first words leave his lips and you pull away to focus back on the happy couple. It's not you and him. Though looking at how lovingly Aman stares into his bride's eyes, it brings a tear to your own knowing how much you've wanted that with Harry. You drop your head, quickly wiping the tear, and you let your eyes wander back to him. You finally have the opportunity to really take him all in, and he looks so good. He always has. But of course, you really haven't been able to admire it, not fully admire it, for a while now. It hasn't changed though, because he looks incredible in the white button-up shirt under his light blue suit. That is your favorite blue. It's also your favorite color on him. You meet his eyes once again, his fixated on yours as he sways back and forth.

Fall into me and I'll catch you, darlin'

We'll dance in the street like nobody's watching

It's just you and me

And the song on repeat in my head

Playing over and over

I'm drunk on your voice high on the moment

I'd fall for you twice if that's what you wanted

I'd give you my life from now till forever

I'm falling in love with you

Over and over again

Your breath hitches as you think you notice a subtle smile appear, but his eyes quickly flicker over to Aman and Priya, so yours do as well.

Your nerves were already on alert from the fact that you'd be seeing him at this wedding, even with the knowledge of his attendance, but his unreadable demeanor, and now disappearing smile, have caused that level to rise. You wonder at what point you two will have this necessary, but now anxiety-inducing conversation, so you can swiftly and politely make your exit afterwards if it doesn't go well.

Until I had met you

There was no sun in my sky

No mirrors for monsters

And no love in sight

Then you walked down those stairs

And I knew my heart wasn't mine

On the day that I met you

My whole world came alive

You look over again, seemingly unable to control yourself anymore, and see that subtle smile again. This time it stays, even when he notices you watching him, it stays.

Your eyes jolt over to your friends for just a moment, since that's where they should be focused, but immediately move back to Harry. Again, the smile remains, and it may be your imagination, but you swear it's grown even wider.

I'm falling in love with you

I'm falling in love with you over and over

You take another sip of the champagne, mildly questioning how much you've already had considering the heat rushing to your cheeks. But nonetheless, you watch Harry. As improper as it may be to some that you aren't watching the bride and groom, you watch Harry. As confusing as all the emotions are that course through you, alongside the champagne, you watch Harry. As unsure as you are about how anything will end up tonight, you watch Harry.

And Harry watches you.

"Please raise your glasses for this beautiful couple before us! To Aman and Priya!" He toasts, and you quickly grab your glass, not even realizing that the song had ended.

You place it back on the table and look up to see that Harry has left the stage and is making his way towards you. Your heart flutters as he gets even closer and it dawns on you that the chair to your right has remained empty for a reason. It's his chair. Whether they forgot to change it, or simply couldn't, it doesn't really matter, because either way he is now shaking Jordan's hand and lowering himself into it.

"Hi." He speaks softly.

"Hi." You reply, hoping those words actually came out and weren't lost in the breath you exhaled with them. "That was good. You did… you all did good. Up there."

"Thank you." He chuckles, catching the attention of the nearby waiter carrying a tray of champagne flutes. He takes one for himself and you quickly grab another for your own, taking a large sip before placing it on the table.

You turn to try and bring Jordan into the conversation, hoping he could ease the awkwardness you're already feeling, when you realize his seat is void of him. You scan the rest of the table and shake your head. You're not sure why it didn't occur to you before, but no one else is there. Those other seats are for the others in the band, who are conveniently missing. So now there you are, left alone with Harry, and you make a mental note to interrogate your so-called group of friends to find out if their sudden disappearing act was on purpose.

"Wow!" He exclaims, and you turn back to him, following his gaze as it lands on your right hand. "That's very pretty. It's called henna, right?"

"Mhm." You hum.

"Can… umm… may I take a look?" He asks timidly, with an innocence to his gaze.

You nod and raise your hand, feeling that familiar warmth as he brings his to sit under it. He lowers his face and his breath on your skin sends a shiver down your spine. The index finger of his other hand suddenly begins tracing the intricate design, going over every subtle line and curve of the ink as it moves up your forearm.

He looks up to you and straightens up, still holding your hand in his.

"It really is beautiful." He utters and your heart begins to race.

However, a frown appears between his brows, causing the beating to slow and your stomach to turn. He looks back down to your hand and turns it over, so that your palm is facing upward.

"Your cut healed nicely." He sighs, not revealing what emotion was behind it.

"Yeah." You clear your throat. "Thank you."

"No problem." He mutters, releasing your hand and turning his body to fully face his spot at the table. At that moment, your friends all appear, simultaneously, which gives you the answer to the question you had a few moments before.

"Hey everyone!" Sarah exclaims, switching her glance between you and the man beside you. You glare, unamused by their apparent scheme. Mainly because now is not the time to have a serious conversation with him. She gives an awkward smile back and takes her seat, as do the rest of your friends.

You spot the wait staff begin to walk around with plates of food, and have never felt more relieved to eat. Hopefully dinner will take some of the awkward energy away.

•••

As the plates are cleared, and toasts are given, it is announced there will be a Bollywood dance routine performed by some family members, alongside dessert, which always perks you up.

You had chosen chocolate cheesecake, and your mouth begins to water as it's placed in front of you, but your throat immediately dries up as you feel Harry tapping on your thigh and leaning in closer towards you.

"Can we go somewhere and talk?" He whispers, and your eyes dart around the table. Everyone's attention is either focused on their plates, or the dancefloor, as the music begins to play.

"But… dancing, and dessert…" The words slip out with a minor whimper, not intending to actually utter those thoughts out loud.

"Just for a moment. Please?" He asks, and as you look in his direction, the plea in his expression is too much for you to deny his request, so you nod and follow him out of the banquet hall.

He leads you out the doors and over to a staircase, close enough to still hear the festivities, but far enough away so that they don't overtake your conversation.

He walks up to the third step, resting his back against the banister, and you gather your dress to step up and stand against the wall across from him. As soon as you are settled, your eyes fixate on your hands and they fidget with the nails of the other.

It's silent. Maybe he's waiting for you to speak first? Or maybe he doesn't even know what to say? You at least would've wanted dessert before potentially having to bolt out of the venue from embarrassment or heartache. At least your heels are easy enough to slip off if you need to make a quick getaway.

"How are your parents?" He breaks the silence, his question causing a scrunch in your nose.

"Good. My dad's doing well."

"Good." He nods in response.

"Look, Harry-"

"YN..." He interrupts, standing up straighter and running a hand through his gorgeous curls. You could curse them for being so inviting to touch. "M'not gonna take up much of your night. I just wanna get something off my chest."

"Alright." You swallow nervously, hoping you'll find out exactly how he feels and that you can express the same, wherever that leads you.

"I love you." He suddenly states, catching you a little off guard. For some reason, whatever you thought he was going to say, that was not it. "I don't think I'll ever stop loving you if m'honest."

He puts his hands in his pockets and your breathing picks up as he takes the smallest step towards you, raising his gaze to meet yours and locking in on you.

"I know I hurt you. I can only imagine how much pain I caused you. And I am truly sorry. Because what I feel now, is probably only a fraction of what you've been feeling, and I feel so fucking empty without you."

He steps closer again and you let out a whimper as a tear escapes down your cheek. Once again, like the last time you two spoke, his finger is quick to wipe it away.

"I never want to hurt you again. I never want to make you cry again. As much as it hurts to be without you, that would hurt so much more. I love you too much to put you through that again."

You sigh, unable to move, barely able to breathe, as his eyes, and words, hit deep into your soul.

"Please say something now." He whispers.

Every response you want to give him vanishes from your mind. This is what you wanted. This is what you came home for. He is what you came home for. Yet your mind goes blank as your mouth opens to speak.

"My heart was broken, and it hurt so much. Because I think the hardest thing I've ever had to do is walk away while still being in love with you."

His hands softly travel from your shoulders, down to your hands, and you feel a strike of lightning shoot through your veins.

"Do… do you still love me?" He asks in a whisper.

"Yes." You whisper back in response.

"Because you're all that I care about, YN. I just want you to be happy. Whatever I need to do to make that happen, I'll do it. I would've barged my way through that airport, but you asked for time and I wanted to give it to you. And if you need more, I'll give you that too. No matter the outcome. I'll give you whatever you want."

Hair is tenderly brushed out of your face and tucked behind your ear and you see more love in his eyes than you ever have before.

"Do you still need time?" He asks, clearing his throat and glancing down for a moment as his thumbs run over your knuckles.

"Yes." You state, squeezing his hands before his head drops too low. This may just be the moment you get back everything you've been missing, everything you've wanted. "With you. I need more time with you."

His hands drop yours and instantly hold onto your cheeks, radiating a heat that could power every chandelier in that ballroom. His gaze flickers between each of your eyes, and he doesn't wait another second before his lips are passionately pressed on yours. Your hands swiftly travel up to rest around his neck, not only to embrace him, but to keep yourself from completely melting at his touch. He steps closer, leaving no room between your heaving chests, and your back pushes firmly against the wall.

He pulls away and you both catch your breath, his forehead resting against your own, and you hear him hum in contentment.

"Cheeky." He smirks, peppering tiny kisses on your cheeks. "I can definitely give that to you."

The sharp sound of mic feedback pierces through the speakers from the hall, and Harry leads you, hand in hand, back to your table. He holds your chair out as you sit back down, and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I'll be right back." He utters into your ear, leaving you to watch him in a confused state as he heads back up to meet the rest of the band.

"Hello! I'm Harry." He states into the mic and he waves to the crowd. "It's a great night, isn't it?"

He looks over to you with a wide grin and your cheeks flood with heat, yet again.

"We've performed a couple of songs already tonight, and I wouldn't call this a wedding song, but it's really fun, it's our last one before our friend DJ Raj takes over, and it was requested by the groom." He turns to Mitch and Sarah, nodding for them to start it off, then turns back to the mic. "At least that's what I'll be claiming."

He smirks as he looks back to you and holds onto the mic stand, closing his eyes and shaking his head to the beat before taking in a deep breath.

Here to take my medicine, take my medicine

Treat you like a gentleman

Give me that adrenaline, that adrenaline

Think I'm gonna stick with it

Your jaw drops open and your palm immediately covers your open mouth, holding back the loud laugh of unbelief threatening to burst out.

"Didi!" Adhira exclaims, plopping down right next to you. "You're smiling! Does this mean it worked?"

You nod and tug on your bottom lip. You can see, even from this distance, how Harry's eyes begin to fill with desire as he stares at you.

I had a few, got drunk on you

And now I'm wasted

And when I sleep I'm gonna dream of how you…

"Tasted." You whisper, aware that only you know the rest of that line. Not that he'd sing it in front of this particular group anyway. Suddenly your gaze shoots over to your friend and your brow instantly furrows. "Wait… did what work…?"

"Come on…" She replies, drawn out, most likely due to a couple glasses of champagne. Her tipsy condition is ideal for this moment considering you want answers. "The last time at the bar, the songs… the singing tonight, and the songs… that was me! I'm the mastermind!"

Jordan gets up from the other side of you and holds Adhira by the shoulders, lifting her up from the seat.

"I wouldn't say 'mastermind', babe… but you helped…" He states, giving you a smile.

"I'm just glad it worked! They're in love!" She shouts, thankfully no louder than the song being played, though you couldn't care less at this point. It's true, after all.

They make their way to the dancefloor and you turn your attention back to where you want it to be, right on Harry, biting on your lower lip as he bounces around, smirking every time his eyes catch yours.

If you let it, your body could float. All of the heaviness from the past couple of months has lifted completely, evaporated, never to be seen or felt again. All that's left is the light daze that being with Harry gives you, and it's in the best way. But that daze, and the sudden heat rushing to your core, is not being hindered in any way by the current song.

If you go out tonight, I'm going out

'Cause I know you're persuasive

You got that something

I got me an appetite

Now I can taste it

You giggle as you take your actual first bite of dessert, shaking your head at how Harry looks as if he wants to devour you more than you want the cheesecake in front of you. And you won't complain.

We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh

La-da-da-da-da

We're getting dizzy, oh, we're getting dizzy, oh

La-da-da-da-da

Before you take another bite, Harry's hands are pulling you out of your chair and into his arms, wrapping one around your waist as the other's hand sits against your cheek.

"Was Aman really the one to pick that song?" You chuckle, lifting your fingers to finally, once again, entangle them in his gorgeous hair.

"M'not telling." He simply replies, running his thumb across your lips to wipe some crumbs away. "Think we can sneak out early?"

Your teeth grind into your lower lip as you shift your weight within his embrace. The butterflies you feel inhibit any words, so you use a smile and nod as your answer.

Harry looks around the room and leads you around the tables, stopping every few paces to give you a quick kiss.

As you make it out into the foyer, he turns around, pulls you in by your waist, and presses his lips firmly against your own. Your palms rest on his chest, and you sigh as you feel the heat from his skin. It's quickly matched by the heat building up at your core.

"If you keep stopping to kiss me, we'll never get anywhere." You utter, your lips hovering in front of his.

"We'll get there Cupcake. I just have a lot to make up for. I don't plan on stopping anytime soon."

•••

Harry had never been more nervous in this entire life, until this moment. Nothing had made him shake, or sweat, or forget how to breathe, more so than what he was about to do. However, he knows that this one action will lead to a moment that will top it immensely.

He picks up his phone from the counter, his shaky thumb hovering over the contact. He takes a deep breath and presses it.

Pacing is all he can do while the phone rings, but he halts in place once the sound turns into a clearing of the throat on the other end of the line.

"Harry! How are you?" The murmur can barely be heard.

"I'm doing well, Mr. YLN, how are you?" He replies.

"I'm doing alright." Your dad clears his throat again, and Harry begins to feel some guilt for the fact that he isn't there, talking to your father in person. "But… I have a feeling you aren't calling to… just check in with me…"

A smile quickly appears on Harry's face. Your father has always had the best attitude, and a knack for being very in tune with what's going on. He says it's because his only hobby is to people-watch, so he can pick up on those unspoken cues very quickly. He also jokes that he should be a body language analyst for the FBI.

"You're always on point." Harry chuckles, inhaling a deep breath and gathering his composure, as if your dad can hear his stature change. It's possible. "I'm sorry I can't do this in person. But… I have an important question to ask you."

Sitting across from Harry, in your favorite cafe, flipping the page of your book, you look up to find Harry's eyes on you, smiling as he takes a sip of coffee.

"What?" You ask with a giggle, a slight blush quickly forming on your cheeks.

"It's just been a good day." He shrugs, and your blush grows deeper. "But every day for the past two weeks has been a good day."

"You're adorable." You shake your head, feeling the exact same way. As absolutely terrible as those recent couple of months were, you've never felt better with him than you do now. "Do you wanna do anything in particular?"

"Yes! I have the perfect plan!" He suddenly exclaims, causing you to find him looking outside at the rain. He quickly shoots up from his seat and moves next to you, reaching out his hand to take yours. "Come with me."

"What?"

"Please?"

You can't resist that smile, and those dimples, and the way he makes your heart flutter. Not that you want to anyway. You let him take your hand and guide you out of your chair, then out of the cafe, into the rain.

"Wanting some peak romance?" You ask, knowing it is a tradition of yours, but unsure as to why he was so interested in doing this so abruptly.

"Something like that."

He brings you closer, staring at your hand, and you notice his breathing increase dramatically.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He replies breathlessly. "I, umm… I wanna make this moment special."

"What do you mean?" You ask, simply watching his expression for any clue it could give you.

"I love you, Cupcake…"

"I love you too, Harry." You smile, cupping his cheek to encourage him to look at you. The anxiousness in his eyes causes yours to widen.

"You are my everything, YN. I can't believe there was that short period of time where I missed out on just… being with you."

"Harry…"

"I was lost for a moment and… I almost lost you… but I found my way back home. That's you. You are my home."

"Oh my god…" You whisper, your heart racing faster than the speed of the raindrops falling all around you.

Harry looks down at the ground and frowns as he sees the puddle that has accumulated at your feet. He squeezes your hand, reaching his other into his coat pocket, and stepping closer as he holds a small box in front of you. His eyes flicker between it and your gaze, finally landing on you with a nervous smile.

"I don't want to waste another moment together. And I've been wanting to do this for a long time, so I don't want to live another second without asking you… " He clears his throat and his shaky hand opens the box. "Will you marry me?"

It's a surreal experience, to say the least. Everything happens in slow motion, but too quickly at the same time.

This is Harry. The love of your life. The man who dragged you outside into a storm because you told him you'd never been kissed in the rain. The man who learned to make your coffee order just so that you could stay just a few extra minutes at home with him before heading to work. The man who sat on the bathroom floor with you, all night, holding you while you cried.

He means everything to you. Everything. You can't imagine a life without him, and now you won't have to.

"Yes!" You exclaim, flinging your arms around his neck and pulling him as close as you can. "Forever, yes!"

~~~~~

the end.

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Series Masterlist

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