#mental health awareess

[astridspeckles]

Archon Quest & The Wanderer tangent + mental health

So I just finished it (I'm so far behind on everything Sumeru it hurts) I wanna just talk about stuff, so spoilers. A few things to note:

Im terrible at writing what I think so this is a random jumble of words lol

I'm not a psychologist/psychiatrist

I do have a very empathic innate understanding of mental health tho- I also have personal experience with it.

I simp for Scara, have from the moment I saw him

I knew roughly the story beats of the quest so I didnt go in blind

- so I had a lot of time to get used to the 'cop out'...

This is a repost of a thread I made on another site so if you find this elsewhere it me hi

... Which I'll quickly just address. I don't like how at the end he can't be on our side without the complications of what it would of meant if he as his original self would of been --- but im not gonna focus on that, what done is done. I will just say I would liked more if the voice lines people had of him were different- something along the lines of 'I cant remember what happened but it feels like im forgetting something' -  but im just going to do is focus on his character development. I believe Scaramouche is someone who would be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) which is an emotional dysregulation disorder which can heavily impact a person day to day which can effect their relationships with people.

People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain. [- NIMH Gov]

And I know on tumblr people have more understanding of BPD but those who dont know or care says anything - no, this isn't the "edgy mental illness” I believe Collie is an example of another character who displays BPD as well. Both of these characters I believe are actually fantastic display of BPD?? Though Scaramouche is an example of what happens when it goes unchecked and Collei has made amazing progress to live with it in her day to day. But yes... the Archon Quest. Nahida expected and lowkey planned for it to play out the way it did, and even though that is the exact same manipulation that people have been doing that has ruined people, she did it for Scaramouche, and I cant help but love her a bit more for that. She didn't plant the idea in his head or guide his hand, but prepared for an outcome in case if he acted the way he did and allowed him to do so anyway - her trust in him and the traveler as well as herself to make sure things for him would be okay in the end. She cares for him. She understands his history and I bet she understands BPD and knows how to live with people who live with it too Nahida doesn't concern herself with the complications, the fact people would see this outcome as a 'cop out' or the lack of justice of Scaramouche not having to face his actions. Nahida cares about Scaramouche and that he is hurting and has been hurt. She acted accordingly with stride with no doubts. She never gives herself away, despite naturally and genuinely giving her complete self in any situation. Shes amazing (and someone I hope to be like someday). I love how Nahida has just endless trust and confidence in him and the people she works with. She treats people exactly how she would like to be treated in turn making her someone people would respect and up hold - and is such an amazing archon im so glad shes here.

---

And for someone who is constantly battling to remain guarded- Scaramouche thrives so much with how she treats him - it was amazing. (Although I do wish down to my core that the whole time thing didn't happen because I swear with Nahida and the traveler we could of helped him-- ok ok no I said I wouldnt talk about that topic). But you can see that he's able to be relaxed and confident, but his confidence is being directed in a way that isn't making him defensive! You can see the norm for him which is the exact opposite when he talks to the fatui! Example in the memory where he speaks to Signora - the communication itself is a battle for him. He needs to defend himself and let those around him know he isn't weak. He's constantly treading water, trying to stay afloat- to not be hurt, because he knows no one will hesitate to hurt him. You cannot show that type of weakness - they will see it and strike. And while yes the people who he talks to would of course react in turn to attack him when they are being attacked, if people were able to focus and care for Scaramouche they would acknowledge that it is a factor of his BPD and find ways to navigate these episodes - which we can see, can be done! And that is why he is always acting the way he is. Its a defense mechanism! A vicious cycle. [And I know there are so many players who don't see Scaramouche this way and it makes me actually really sad that they cant see how injuried he is. Every interaction we see him in is him masking and putting on a front, an act, and people think he's all evil because he's a dick. I hope if you see him that way that this thread can at least give you an alternative perspective though] But with that all mentioned... the fact he gave up himself without an instant to fix things... he just wants to do something greater than himself. He wants to help, he wants to make things happen and not necessary because he wants to be great, he just wants to fill in the void he feels. You can see that trauma survivors can have survivors guilt but one way of expressing this is by having an fragile ego believing that you being here means you have a purpose. Of course everyone thinks this but trauma can make it a lot harder to not to regulate your thoughts which can make obsessions more intrusive. He sacrificed himself to do some good after learning the truth within an instinct. To his core he is good. He has done bad and terrible things but he is still being good in these moments, not because he wants to 'do one last thing', but because it is the obvious right choice to do since he has the power to do so. Because they have the power to do so, and they saw a problem that can be helped by them. Nahida and Scaramouche both do this and damn I cant believe that my headcanons for Scaramouche being not evil boi TM actually came true?? First with Xiao and now Scaramouche? I am fed. ...Would someone who has had a history of pain and trauma not want to just erase it? Want to forget it, not want to experience it and not attached to it? Of course. But that ins't possible to do which is where you seek a professional to help you work through things. But yet here we are, and while... I don't like the game narrative of this happening, for a study in a traumatized character it is actually a really interesting path... which I still hate. The equivalent of this is suppressed memories. And I can talk from personal experience- having a memory of a distressing yet alone heavily traumatic situation is majorly distressing and/or soul crushing! Even more so if it is OUT OF NOWHERE. This is not how you recover from your trauma - its the opposite - trauma dumping! My poor boy didn't stand a chance! You even see The Wanderer, the moment I saw him I actually was so distressing for me. You could instantly see how empty he is. He's missing so much of himself. And all I could see up until the traveler talks to him was sadness. -I played it while talking to a friend and she couldnt see this and I swear this isn't because I simp for him though. This came across crystal clearly for me and im actually really shocked that apparently not everyone else did? But once he speaks to the traveler he develops drive and goals instantly. Again, this has always been there and is actually one of the main personality traits he always has on display. Scaramouche has always been the way the Wanderer is. But after we finish the Wanderers task for the stall keep, we see Nahida and Y I K E S we trauma dump him. And this hurt to watch. This isn't how you deal with trauma. "Just rip it off like a bandaid" is not the approach you have to something so devistating... ...and yet for the games purposes it had to be done like this. Lets say hypothetically if the game let the Wanderer slowly and healthily learn Scaramouche's history - he would of be an odd mixture of two people. But he would still ultimately be more of the Wanderer than Scaramouche! he could be able to connect with him but ultimately he would of been able to let him go. But the game could not do that for game reasons. He IS Scaramouche, he needs to STAY as Scaramouche. So trauma dumping it is. So he decides in true Wanderer/Scaramouche fashion that it is his duty to learn the truth. Because this is a drive and motivation and their character at their core would do anything to fix what is right regardless of what is their own consequence. And so he does. And he suffers for it, recalls painful memories and is in agony. ... and yet, when it is all done you can see instantly - "He is back to being the old Scaramouche". And this is where I say no. This is where people aren't seeing him. Scararmouche never left. You just know what to look for now to see his kindness. You just understand when his trauma is making him act up. You are just in an environment where he can allow his defenses not to be activated. The Wanderer has not had a personality change - sure he isn't the soft boy from before, but SIKE he actually is. Or rather, he can be when he chooses and is ready to be. But he'll never be that aimless or hollow ever again, but that wasn't Scaramouche, or The Wanderer, that was a blank state of being of going with the motions knowing something is missing. He'll never be so hollow again, but he will be able to display that unguarding kindness someday. The major change he has had his trauma and burdens are eased and no longer life controlling. He is on the path of recovery and overcoming his history. Scaramouche has always had the ability to be kind and not being evil, but he never had the enviroment where he could do so. He was molded in part to be the evil he became and while he was manipulated to do so, to degrees he did willingly not too concerned if he didnt have the full context. But the Wanderer is and has always been what Scaramouche is, just some people had to actively been shown who he is before they could see it themselves.

[brainlessbloggersblog]

(via Mental Health Awareness: Depression thoughts)

[alixx-black]

MHAPI 2022: Remission

As we reach the end of 2022's #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth, it seemed fitting to write about remission as a part of #addictionrecovery. When a #substanceusedisorder is in remission, the maintenance is less, but there's always vigilance to remain sober.

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[carrotzcake]

i was today years old when i realized my mom has an eating disorder (and is in complete denial)

i think the one and only thing those awful health class ED movies were good for was giving me self-awareness. i knew what i was doing and why (albeit i thought it was superficial/weight-related vs emotional at first)

everything keeps making more and more sense and i'm confronting more and more feelings.

ew