#mental health in residency

[mashupofmylife]

I’ve written and rewritten and debated this post on all other socials, so naturally it goes up here without a second thought.

I finished residency today. 4 years and 25 weeks after starting. But Psychiatry is a 4 year residency? And American residencies finish at the end of June? 

It took me 25 extra weeks because I spent those 25 weeks in PHPE, and PHP, and IOP, working on my eating disorder, and my depression, and my PTSD. And when I came back to residency I continued to work on all of those things, while also doing the doctor training thing.

I take more meds than most of my outpatients. I have more frequent appointments than most of my outpatients. There are definitely days where I’m jealous of patients who seem to be doing great compared to me. 

Part of me wanted the full story to get shared, because it was a lot on top of a lot, and without the full story you can’t appreciate what my life’s been like. Part of me thinks that no one needs to know how hard I worked and what I overcame to make it to the point in my career. Or that I’m fishing for compliments by sharing all of this.

But hey, shits hard and I’m trying to let myself really appreciate what life has been like.

So maybe I sometimes still end up on the couch for hours wishing I didn’t have to be alive.* I graduated psych residency while juggling treatment for my own mental health issues that have literally knocked me to the ground on more than one occasion. Maybe, just maybe, I can talk about that without turning into a giant tomatohead.

*My therapist knows. And my psychiatrist. And my primary care doc. Honestly this is an improvement from where things were.

[redlipstickcigarette69]

[tiredsurvivoronmain]

🚬

[soloverse]

fridge raiding,,,

(vendetta Leon, my love)

[hamartia-grander]

If Leon and Ethan ever met they'd absolutely not like each other at all at first but then they'd accidentally bond over the stupidest shit (like they say the exact same cheesy one liner at the same time) and end up becoming best friends

[patos-chan]

He needs a hug but also therapy-

[heartofalifer]

Alec Hardy is my comfort character. one hell of a mess. poor physical and mental health, divorced, socially awkward, breaks down alone often and doesn't have friends. of course he needs comforting that's why he is my comfort character

[swirlymark]

I’m not a good person.

I’m barely a person at all.

[quotidianish]

doodles :3

[redlipstickcigarette69]

yeah ! 👍

[flamboyant-king]

Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.

I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.

I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.

So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?

[jillsandwhichs]

I want to become the best version of myself.

I want to lose weight (I am currently 145), I want to get even better academically (I range B-'s primarily), I want to consistently have a clean bedroom (It's usually only clean for about a week or two til it's messy again), I want to become more social (I have 0 IRL friends currently) and lastly, I want to better my mental health overall.

The reason I'm coming onto Tumblr about this is because it may require me to stray away from Social Media for awhile, including this app. I love writing, so I'll still be posting fanfictions, but I am unsure if I'll use it for any other purposes, at least for a while.

I love this app so much so I don't think I'll astray from Tumblr, but if I do, you know why.

❤️

[shortstrawberry]

How are ya all doing, Donna nation? I'm just chilling and failing my students for not knowing the difference between Psychoanalytic and Psychodynamic.

[dr-med]

somehow I’ve managed to turn in two end stage paper drafts to my primary advisor since Thursday and I feel a bit better about everything.

the heat outside sucks tho!

there is finally a summer dip at the clinics so I’m on the peak performance in dermatopathology and not flushed away with cases…

In one month I’m going to France to sit vipassana again, actually very need to take mental distance from my crush (and I have no self control)

[holyguardian]

I don't think I posted it here, but I will be slower in general for a couple weeks. I have been attempting to pick at stuff and things but stress is a killer for creativity, hoping to be more present again when I have an update on a family health matter.

[landfilloftrash]

If I told you there was a series of games created before I was born, developed by Capcom, and that I was obsessed with a pairing of middle aged men within; The pairing being comprised of a someone around a decade or so older than the younger, lighter colored hair, stern and serious with a very deadpan sense of humor, along with “this is my job. I shall do it perfectly” demeanor about his work— very cat-coded in general, if you can think it, it will most probably apply— and the younger being very a determined brunette with firm morals who goes toe to toe with the older man and is frequently one of the only ones who can do so with their hell-bent insistence to do good and defend those who cannot, no matter the cost, who is quite dog-coded in reverse. They spend a few years in each other’s company, learning about each other (even if it’s at a distance and professionally) and then. Something happens. The older one of the pair betrays the brunette — his strings being pulled by a higher power, but it does not excuse him— and in the process reveals a cowardly and vengeful side after the event, causing the entirety of the franchise we play to happen. And then only a bit later in the storyline, one murdered the other, in cold but passioned blood, because destiny deemed it this way and they only heed the call of it. And whether or not it was intentional, leaving said murdered man’s child an orphan completely alone in the world as a side effect. For years after the event, they are satisfied with what happened, if burdened by guilt. But they were right to do so, weren’t they? They proceed to be metaphorically haunted by the man they killed for the rest of their life, however. And that will come to a head for them.

Now… am I talking about Chrisker (Chris Redfield/Albert Wesker), or Shingou (Mitsurugi Shin/Karuma Gou) ?