#merrin's smile could save the galaxy

[animatedjen]

Merrin | Jedi Survivor

[givemea-dam-break]

Stuck With Me

a/n: i’m sorry but i’m really in my feels for cal kestis right now so i had to write another fic! let me just preface this by saying: this is not a part 2 to the other cal fic i wrote. hope you enjoy!! Warnings: none except the pure fluff in this - maybe cringe because i’m bad at fluff Words: 982 Gender-neutral reader

Sitting out in the plains of Bogano is much more relaxing than you had originally anticipated, but you are glad for the peace.  You lie in the grass a little ways off from the Mantis, staring up at the blue sky. The breeze is cool but forgiving on your bare arms, raising small goosebumps all over while boglings and other small, friendly animals hop and run about in the near vicinity. You can’t help but close your eyes, soaking in the sounds of the wildlife. “I’ve been looking for you,” a voice says from a few feet away.  You open your eyes and tilt your head back, smiling. “And why’s that, Mr-Jedi-Knight?” Cal rolls his eyes. “Can’t I just spend time with my friend?” “You spend time with me on the Mantis,” you point out. “But, of course. You’re always welcome.”  Instead of speaking again, Cal lies down on the grass next to you. You turn your head to look at him and you can’t help but admire him - how could you not? His hair falls in a messy yet flattering way, and his cheeks and nose have the slightest tinge of pink to them from the breeze.  “Where’s BD-1?” you ask. “You two are usually inseparable.” “He’s going back and forth with Greez,” Cal says. “He wants to help with repairs but Greez won’t let him so he’s running about the Mantis causing havoc.” You laugh and look back up at the sky. “That droid is truly something else.” “He is.” You feel Cal’s hand brush against yours and, for a second, your heart seems to stop and you become breathless. You’re sure Cal knows; you can see a smile playing at his lips from the corner of your eye. He did that on purpose. Despite the fluttering in your stomach and your sudden restlessness, you enjoy Cal’s company. He’s always had an effect like that on you. In the worst kinds of situations, just having him by your side made things better. “You know,” you say, grabbing Cal’s attention, “I’d never really believed all of that talk about the Jedi being traitors.” “Oh, I’m glad,” Cal says with a small laugh. “You should be.” You turn your head to look at him. “Out on Jakku, the Jedi never really got involved. There was never much happening. But, my dad came back from an off-world supply-run and told me a story about how the Jedi saved his life, as well as the inhabitants of a planet. People who save whole planets don’t just turn against the galaxy all of a sudden.” Cal’s eyes meet yours and you are unable to move as if his gaze alone has some sort of control over you. “It’s why I’ve trusted you since the beginning,” you say. “And it’s why you’ll be stuck with me.” Cal’s brows knit slightly as he smiles. “What?” You grin. “You heard me. You’re going to have to deal with me for a while, now. I’m going to stick with you and show everyone the Jedi are good.” “You just like my lightsaber, huh?” “Okay, you can’t blame me for thinking it’s cool,” you say, which makes Cal laugh. “But, no. After everything we’ve gone through, after everything you’ve done for people who’ve never met you - I can’t just let you go alone with good conscience. Someone needs to keep you in check.” “And that someone will be you?” “Mm-hm,” you say, watching Cal’s eyes crinkle as he smiles.  Neither of you parts gazes, so you can’t help but get lost in his eyes. Never in your life had you seen such entrancing eyes - you could just stay and look into them for the rest of your life. “If I had to stick with anyone,” Cal says softly, “I’d pick you a million times.” Your heart feels like it’s going to burst from your chest. “Not Merrin?” you ask. “Her Nightsister magic would probably come in handy.” Cal shakes his head. “Nope.” “What about Cere? She has the Force, and she was a Jedi Master. She’d be super useful.” “Not her, either,” Cal says. “Then Greez,” you say. “I can’t pilot a ship for the life of me.” Cal laughs again - it’s a sound you can’t get enough of. “You don’t have the Force,” Cal says. “Thanks for pointing it out.” “And you really can’t fly -” You laugh. “Oh, I know, Cal.” “- but that’s not what matters.” Cal’s hand grasps yours, sending electricity shooting up your arm. “You’ve stuck by me this whole time. You’ve never doubted me or second-guessed me. All you’ve ever done is believe in me.” The breath seems to be sucked out of your lungs. “Why wouldn’t I?” you say, realising just how close you and Cal have become. Cal smiles. “I’m not sure, but all I need is someone who believes in me, someone I know I can trust.” “And I fit the criteria?” “You check every box.” Your eyes flicker down Cal’s face for a split second. “Pretty perfect then, huh? I guess you better stick with me.” “I was planning on it.” Before you can even take another breath, Cal’s lips brush against yours in a gentle kiss. One of his hands rests softly on your cheek, the sheer feeling of it on your skin raising goosebumps. His lips are soft and you can taste Ardees, the drink Greez had somehow managed to get his hands on, from the slightest touch of your lips. When you part, though you don’t want to, Cal is smiling even wider than before. “You don’t understand how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” he says, still close to your face. You put your hand on top of his, which still rests on your face. “Then do it again. Make up for the lost time.” And, before you know it, his lips are on yours again. Looks like you’re stuck with me.

[cl-01-kestis]

My Little Rebel - Inquisitor!Cal Kestis x Female Rebel!Reader | Part 10

Summary: You make a quick visit to Bogano and come across a small BD unit that once belonged to your beloved.

(No Cal in this one unfortunately, but this is more or less a filler chapter to get the real story going)

Warnings: none

You woke up to the sound of scratching, tiny little claws scraping the outside of the back window of the Mantis. You jolted awake with a scream and fell off your bed when your eyes landed on a small furry creature with massive brown eyes staring up at you through the visor, squeaking before hopping away at such a speed you blinked and you missed it.

You bumped your head on the floor and groaned as you lifted yourself up by grabbing onto the mattress and housing yourself up with a sharp grunt. It was daylight, the sun gladly wasn’t pouring into your room but it illuminated the bright green grass in front of you through the visor, followed by small patches of mud and the company of friendly looking creatures exactly like the one you woke up to looking at you.

Merrin was the first to greet you as she walked into your room and gave you a fresh set of clothes to put on, a black polo neck and your old poncho which she gratefully washed. She also layed out black combat trousers and black boots, reassuring you that all the mud stains had been washed out from Bracca.

You graciously thanked her and went for a long warm shower, washing the night away as you ran your fingers through your soapy hair and thought about the events hours before. In the refresher next to the shower cubicle, there was a small mirror next to you, level with your head, another one was at your hip, obviously for Greez.

You looked in the mirror and came to the realisation that last night was in fact real, eyes landing on two bloody hickeys which were able to be hidden with your hair. They rest on the side of your neck slope and small teeth marks were seen around them. You mentally scolded Cal, if he was here right now you would’ve throttled him. Thankfully the polo covered up both of the marks and you saved yourself from explaining anything to the crew, especially Cere.

You quickly changed and managed to get to the dining table within half an hour of waking up. Cere greeted you whilst reading off the holopad on the table, eyes scanning over the articles and information about the latest news throughout the galaxy. Your stomach grumbled as you stuffed your face with Greez’s good home cooking, complimenting his food whilst you were chewing on it which made him scoff.

“If you chew any quicker you might just choke!” Greez yelled from the cockpit, shaking his head dismissively as he waddled out and crossed his top set of arms. Cere hummed and Merrin simply chuckled, picking at her food unlike you and taking her time as she ate.

“So, what’s the agenda for today?” You asked curiously, eyes darting to each crew member until Cere cleared her throat and switched off her holopad.

“There’s something I need you to find before we go and start the journey to restore the Jedi order. We’re on a planet called Bogano, here you will hopefully find a droid named BD1” Cere turned in her seat to look at you, her voice all serious and stern as she instructed you about what to do. You listened to her closely and nodded your head once she finished, trapping your chin between your index finger and chin as your thoughts wondered.

“A BD unit? Heard of it but can’t say I’ve seen one of them” You shrugged, grabbing your poncho off the couch and slipping your head through. Cere opened up her hologram once again and shuffled around the blue glowing keyboard which popped up in front of her hands. She typed something into the system and then, a small photo hovered in front of your face. It was a droid, a small one with two little legs and two eyes, one big and one small. It was painted red and white and two antennas were played at either side of its rectangular head.

“This is BD1, he shouldn’t be hard to find, I’ll give you directions as to where his location could be. But be careful, oggdo’s lurk around this part of Bogano” Cere told you in a warning voice. You nodded and gave the holophoto of the droid one last look before turning around and heading to your room to get your lightsaber.

As you walked to the back of the ship, Merrin emerged from your room with your pile of dirty clothes from the day before, in her hand was your lightsaber.

“Looking for this? Sorry for the intrusion, I was going to start the laundry” The Nightsister threw your lightsaber to you in mid air, you caught it effortlessly and smiled.

“No need to apologise” You assured her, stepping to the side to let her through as she held onto the small pile of clothes and blankets. Merrin was out of her Nightsister uniform, replaced with a dark grey sweater and black jeans, but she still had her necklace on.

After Merrin walked away, you went inside you room go check that you had everything. You clipped your lightsaber to your belt and looked around your room quickly before leaving.

“You won’t need much for this mission, only your lightsaber” Cere yelled, her voice echoing from the main part of the ship which made you jolt in your spot momentarily. “Okay!” You yelled back, walking back to the main part of the ship after closing your bedroom door behind.

You arrived at the exit of the ship and regarded Cere with a single nod, turning your head to look out of the open runway and seeing how overwhelmingly green everything was. You saw the occasional glimpse of one of those creatures you saw when you woke up, their bushy tails wagging in the air as the pushed themselves into their little holes in the ground. Bogano looked strange, it consisted of multiple bits of land that were divided by an incredibly long drop. You knew you had a bit of an exercise ahead of you.

Just as you were about to leave, you heard someone clear their throat to gain your attention. Merrin stood behind you with a bag over her shoulder, smiling as she walked to stand next to you and look out to Bogano.

“Thought you might like a bit of company,” The Nightsister smiled, walking out and onto the ramp whilst closing her eyes and inhaling the fresh air through her nose.

“No need to drag me around though, I’ll be just fine” She smirked, making a certain action with her hands before vanishing into a green hue and appearing once more, only a few meters away. You looked at her in amazement and smiled, running down the ramp to catch up to her and enjoy the adventure ahead.

-

Cere sat impassively at the table, still scrolling through her holopad and resting her cheek on her hand as she sighed. Greez took notice to her strange behaviour and sat down a cup of red tea next to her before shuffling into the seat opposite her.

“What’s going on? You’ve never been this quiet” The small man informed, sipping on his own tea as Cere let out another sigh and shook her head. She placed the holopad flat on the table and rubbed her head as if she was irritated by something. The once-Jedi didn’t say much as she picked up the cup from the table and took an experimental sip, humming pleasantly before looking up and meeting Greez’ gaze.

“It’s about Cal” Was all Cere had to say for Greez to start panicking on the inside, his body freezing and eyes full of worry.

“W-what about him?” Greez never sounded so wary about something in his life, Cere simply pursed her lips and tried keeping her emotions contained.

“He knows (Y/N)” Cere’s voice was quiet, almost disappointed that she’d maybe chose the wrong person for such a task to bring back the Jedi order, she was starting to regret everything.

“Knows her? How so?” Greez asked curiously, feeling a little less uneasy and more curious about Cere’s words. The two crew members stayed silent for a few seconds before Cere cleared her throat and blinked a few times.

“I saw them on the battlefield on Kashyyyk” Cere had the face of a disappointed mother, shaking her head to herself as Greez’ eyes widened by a few inches.

“What like- like fighting or-“

“Together, Greez, they were kissing-” Cere stood up from her seat and rubbed her forehead whilst approaching the exit, stopping as she watched you and Merrin in the far distance. The two of you were already near the tower, Merrin was laughing as you tried catching up with her, clearly out of breath whereas she was perfectly fine. Cere was about to smile but then remembered everything she’d seen you do, everything she witnessed and wish she hadn’t.

“She isn’t on the dark side which I’m glad to say, her heart is still full of light and she has good intentions... but Cal- maker I never would’ve guessed” Cere laughed in anything but a positive manner, holding onto the arch of the exit as her other hand lay flat against her head. Greez had spun around in his seat as he watched Cere stress.

“One thing you Jedi never learn, you can’t control attraction Cere, it’s such a diverse thing” Greez sounded like he was defending you but Cere shot him a stone cold glare and he immediately regretted saying anything at all.

“Jedi are never permitted to form attachments, she should know better than to mess around with someone like an Inquisitor” Cere looked up at the view once again and noticed you and Merrin were gone, out of sight and leaving her to wonder where the both of you were. She crouched and sat down on the open ramp, feeling the warm sun kiss her forearms and face as she thought hard about the sight she saw. She was so angry, but Greez had a point. She knew deep down you weren’t bad, you had determination to bring back the order and you weren’t that weak to be manipulated by an Inquisitor. But she was worried about your safety, Cal could kill you at any moment if he could, he could’ve certainly killed you on Kashyyyk. But why didn’t he? She may never know.

-

“The little guy should be here” Merrin’s voice echoed out into the large spacious tomb, looking around at the ground with confusion written over her grey face. You pursed your lips and walked about, checking for any holes or cracks that might be of any significance. The air in the strange hidden tomb was surprisingly mild, you weren’t cold and the sun was pouring in from the top of the tomb where the ceiling was missing.

“Does he respond to force signals?” You asked curiously, continuing to feel around the ancient walls of the Bogano temple. Merrin furrowed her brows and went silent for a few moments.

“Come to think of it, he does, he was taught how to identify force signals long before you showed up, so it might be worth the try” The Nightsister nodded, pointing at the middle of the floor where a golden plate shaped as a circle rest. You walked over to the plate and carefully perched yourself on it without too much hassle. Merrin sat down a meter away from you to give you space for meditation.

“BD-1 will recognise the signal if you project it far enough, I don’t know much about meditation but it’s best that you picture the planet, think about the life there, think of yourself as the air that surrounds it” Merrin said as she crossed her legs, watching you as you copied her and closed your eyes. It didn’t take long for you to shift into your meditation, you felt at peace with the world of Bogano and done as Merrin told you to do.

You started picturing the grass, how green it was when you woke up and when you first set foot on it. You pictured the muck and dirt that accompanied the grass, making a nice blend of green and brown all over the planet. You thought about the odd layout of the planet, the way you and Merrin had to jump from platform to platform, even go down a few zip lines and climb up vines in order to get to the tower. You heard water flowing, the water surrounding you and Merrin. Your palms lay flat on the ground and you felt the concrete, feeling through it’s every inch and letting out a calm sigh as the life of Bogano flowed through the force and into you.

In the distance, within the tomb, a beep was heard.

You opened your eyes quickly, eyes searching for something and eventually landing on the tiniest droid you’d ever seen. It was BD-1, the exact droid you were looking for! The small droid crawled up shyly to you and Merrin, beeping curiously a few times.

You knew what it was saying, smiling to yourself as you waved your hand to signify you meant no harm.

“I don’t believe it” Merrin breathed out, disbelief swirling in her red eyes as she leaned down to encourage BD-1 to come closer. As if recognising the woman, BD-1 chirped in excitement and raced towards the Nightsister, practically pouncing on her and landing on her shoulder, his wide rectangular head nuzzling against hers which caused Merrin to laugh.

“I’ve missed you too, BD” Merrin awkwardly hugged the droid, picking him up and setting him in front of you. You weren’t sure how to interact with the droid, it was the first time you’d ever seen something so small and you felt scared in case you’d crush the droid.

“BD-1, this is (Y/N), she’s a Jedi” Merrin gestured her hand towards you and BD-1 let out a surprised chirp.

‘Really?’ It asked curiously, looking up to Merrin, It’s large lense adjusting before it turned back to look at you. You smiled at the droid and nodded.

“Indeed I am, it’s nice to meet you, BD” You bowed politely to the droid and earned a pleased beep.

“You can understand him?” Merrin raised a brow and turned to look at you, surprised at her sudden discovery. You let out a brief chuckle and nodded.

“I was taught how to speak to droids whilst I was a Padawan, when my memory was wiped the mechanics on Yavin taught me more, I know up to 4 different droid languages” You said, acting like it wasn’t a big deal but Merrin thought otherwise. She didn’t say anything in reply but you shuffled through her thoughts and smiled to yourself when you realised how impressed she was at your skills.

BD-1 spun around in excitement, jumping on your leg and tilting its head to the side.

‘I am at your service!” The droid informed happily.

“What’s he saying?” Merrin asked.

“He’s just saying he’s at my service, should we get going?” You looked up at the sky and realised it was getting pretty dark, you wondered how long you were out for with Merrin. The Nightsister hummed and stood up, dusting herself off and cursing in her own language when she realised that her backside had gotten all wet with the water on the ground. You chuckled at her attitude and stood up as well, but you gasped in surprise when BD-1 bounced up onto your shoulder and chirped happily in your ear.

‘Are we going on an adventure?’ The small droid asked as you and Merrin started venturing out of the temple.

“Yeah, we are” You smiled, making sure not to stretch your neck too much as you turned to look at BD who stood comfy on your shoulder.

The small droid beeped with joy once more, holding onto you tightly as you and Merrin started sliding through the hole where you both came from, returning to the mantis and hopefully starting the mission.

[redrobinhoods]

with you I fall (down) | Whumpay 2021

CW: None

Summary: Cal knew that the Nightsisters used the Dark Side of the Force, but not until that power is used to heal him after a skirmish with the Haxion Brood did he realize how deep that connection was. [5/11]

AO3 Link | Whumpay Index | Chapter 1, Chapter 4, Chapter 6

Cal closed his eyes as he set his boots down beside him on the riverbank, letting his feet breathe for the first time since that morning. He heard Merrin’s boots hit the ground beside his and the sound of her laying down on the rock he was leaning on.

“I do believe we agreed on a water break, not a nap.” Cere laughed from somewhere behind him.

“Well, we don’t want our feet to rot off do we?” Cal grinned. “I don’t suppose you grabbed any spare socks?” A few seconds later he felt a small bundle hit the side of his head. “Thank you.”

“Do you want new socks, Merrin?”

“Not right now. I have magick boots.”

Cal heard BD-1’s scanners activate before the droid let out a conclusive beep.

“Do you really?” Greez asked.

Merrin confirmed BD-1’s conclusion. “No. Why would anyone enchant their boots?”

“You’re the one who said it!”

Cal chuckled as he reopened his eyes and pulled the new pair of socks on before reaching for his boots, careful not to brush his hand against Merrin’s as she also reached down for hers. Cere was sitting by a rock near them, similarly pulling her boots back on as Greez watched the three of them, perplexed. “How are humanoids the dominant species in the galaxy when you have to do this?”

“We walk faster than you.” Cere teased as she stood up to stretch out her back. “But we’ve still got another days walk ahead of us, even so.”

“Then we should get moving.” Cal agreed as he too stood, bracing against the rock when his head began to swim.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Just a head rush.” He smiled reassuringly at Cere.

He regretted not taking that break a few minutes later. As they continued to pick their way through the forest floor, Cere and Merrin cutting their way through the underbrush with Trilla’s and Cal’s lightsabers when the foliage was too thick to penetrate, the pain in his side continued to grow with every step. With each contact of his boot on the ground, some deep Force of the planet shot up into his body. He had sensed it before, on his quest for Tarfful, but it hadn’t resonated like this.

“You okay, kid?” Greez asked at his side, reaching out to steady him when he swayed on his feet.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Cal lied with a smile. “Just caught my foot on a root.”

“If you say so.” Greez continued, muttering something Cal didn’t catch about the dominant species and their feet.

Cal began following after him, reaching out to touch the bark of a young Wroshyr tree to steady himself, but when he took his next step he found himself surrounded in a deep shadow.

“Greez?” Cal stumbled forward into the brush before him. “Cere? Merrin?” He should have been able to see the glow of their lightsabers, heard them as they buzzed through the air, but the only thing that reached his ears was an oppressive silence.

He turned back in the direction he had come from, pushing aside plants that he could not see as he listened for anything. Though he could feel the leaves and branches of the plants against him, he could not hear them as they moved under his touch or brushed against his skin. Not even his footsteps rang out as he spun in circles, looking for anything.

When he could make out a dim light in the distance he followed it, stumbling over the rocks and roots he could not see in his path until he reached a small clearing. He stopped at the edge at the sight of a black-haired woman, sitting alone with her back turned towards him, tenderly stroking the head of a Wyyyschokk.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Cal cautioned, taking a step into the light.

“Why?” She turned her head towards him. “It’s not like it can hurt me anymore.”

“Am I dead?”

Trilla shrugged. “Are you?”

Cal took another look at the Wyyyschokk before walking into the light of the clearing and sitting down on her left side beside the spider. “Am I?”

“If you are, you’re doing a poor job of avenging me.”

“Well, the galaxy doesn’t revolve around you, does it?”

Trilla smiled and let her hand fall from the Wyyyschokk, allowing it to wander away into the darkness Cal had come from. “It felt like it did, before. That’s what the Dark Side does to you.” She took a moment to take him in. “As you know.”

“You think I’ve fallen?”

“Haven’t you? I can feel it.” She reached out to poke a finger against his chest. “Here.”

Cal looked down at the spot that Merrin’s hand had lain on when he had awoken after the crash. “You’re wrong.”

“I have a feeling that I’m not. Your friends, if something happened to them and the only way to save them was to use the Dark Side of the Force, would you use it?”

“That’s a very unlikely situation.”

“And that’s a very telling answer.” She tucked her hands into her lap and leaned forward. “Jedi are supposed to be able to let go. If something happened to your Nightsister, knowing the agony that would explode inside your chest if you lost her, would you be able to let her go?”

“Don’t you dare threaten her!” Cal bared his teeth as he leaned forward to stare Trilla down.

“I wasn’t.” Trilla calmly straightened up before rising to her feet. “But think about it, Cal Kestis, and think of how far you would fall.”

Cal buried his hands into the earth underneath him to rise, nearly knocking his head against Greez’ as he pushed himself forward.

“Woah, Cal.” Cere said as she reached down to steady him. “It’s just us.”

“Are you okay?” Cal felt the arm around his waist loosen and he looked back to see Merrin, who had been holding him against her chest.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just got woozy for a moment there.”

“We’ll take an hour’s rest and eat.” Cere ushered Greez away from Cal’s face. “Give you some time to recover.”

“Okay.” Cal slumped back into Merrin’s chest, letting her wrap her arms around him once more. And for the first time since the crash, her touch was soft upon his skin.

[wutroows]

tiny gap (cal kestis x reader)

pairing: cal kestis x reader a/n: i saw makayla’s reply to an anon’s ask (linked here) and i got inspired to write for cal. this boy needs as much love as he can get and i wish i could give it to him 

jedi training was always difficult. after cere and cal both recovered from their battle with that mysterious sith— which they later learned was a man who called himself darth vader— they were really torn up with injuries. cal had been stabbed with his own lightsaber through his chest, and cere had been thrown around as if she were a ragdoll. 

as cal slept, you sat beside his bed. you admired his sleeping features and freckles littered across his cheeks. every now and then, you gave a little bit of your life force to heal him quicker. you would sit your hand on his chest while he slept, and you closed your eyes, hoping that the force would magically heal him as if the fight never happened. cal would wake up some days, confusedly touching at his wound and then hissing whenever he realized it wasn’t fully healed. 

he was fully recovered a few months later, with only a scar left behind to prove of what happened to him. he’d been training with cere more often now to become  a jedi, even if he’d been knighted before. he told you, “i have so much more to learn, and if cere is able to teach me, i want to know.” 

cere was the only one on the crew of the mantis who knew you were force sensitive. during order 66, you were with your master dono treeooroni. he was a strong twi’lek, who took you in as his padawan when you were very young. he died when order 66 was executed. he died protecting you. you felt as if you were worthless because you couldn’t protect your master, the man who’d done so much to protect you. he’d given you his lightsaber, and you had it hidden in your part of the room that you shared with cal at the back of the mantis. 

ever since merrin joined, cal had opened up a bit more. you were beginning to think cal had a bit of a crush on her, which was understandable. she was beautiful, intelligent and strong. she didn’t let the deaths of her sisters push her down and she always kept her held up high. if anything, you hoped cal would like her over you. compared to merrin, you were a speck of dust. 

cal and cere were outside of the mantis, practicing ways he could hold and wield his lightsaber. greez was taking a nap, complaining that the time it took to get to bogano from kashyyyk took too long, and you were sitting down on the ground next to bd-1. merrin had went off exploring on her own, saying she wanted to see something other than the inside of the mantis. you offered to tag along, but she told you to stay with cal. you didn’t think much of it, but you nodded and stayed with cal and cere as he trained. 

“take a break, cal.” you heard cere say, turning off her own lightsaber and attaching it to the belt on her hip. cal turned off his lightsaber with a sigh, the only sound being the occasional chirps from bd-1 sitting next to you. he was veering for action, and you knew it. you knew he wanted to fight with a lightsaber. it was about time he knew you were force sensitive anyways. he deserved to know.

"hey, cal." you called his name and he turned to face you, fiery locks following the whip of his head. "yeah?" he replied back to you, eyes drilling into your own as if he could see right through you. you had nothing to hide from him except from this, but if he had it figured out already you would feel like an idiot. "can you come with me for a second?" he nodded, lightsaber now attached to his belt as he walked after you.

you lead him through the mantis' living space and past greez where he was sleeping on the couch. you held back a chuckle as you looked at him laying there. greez was a funny guy. you were glad he was part of this little makeshift family you had. you, cal, cere, greez, and merrin, against the world. a smile on your lips, you led him back to your shared quarters.

after cal joined the mantis' crew, another bed was added in the same room. cere apologized fervently for having you share a room with him but after she realized about your small crush on him she took all of that back. cal had a space at the end of the room where he worked on his lightsaber, and close to it was his bed.

cal's face filled with confusion as you led him back to your side of the room, and you sat on the bed, patting the space next to you to get him to sit down. he followed after giving you a perplexed look. you turned to him, and looked straight into his eyes. better to tell him now than to have him find out by someone else or by accident later. "i have something to tell you, cal." he moved to face you, and his head tilted slightly to the side, hair flopping over his forehead as he did so. he was so pretty. he had no idea what he did to you.

“um..” you cleared your throat, and turned to the bedside table. in the bottom drawer sat your lightsaber, alone. it wasn’t really even yours, it was your masters. you took it during order 66 after he passed away, you felt like you needed to have something of him to hold onto. you opened the drawer with a deep inhale, and pulled the lightsaber out of it. “i’m force sensitive.” you told him, and a smile appeared across his lips. “i know.” cal replied back to you as if it were the most obvious thing you ever said to him. “i’ve known for months now, ever since i got that injury from before.” 

“what?” you questioned. he knew you force healed him. shit. he wasn’t stupid, it was dumb of you to force heal him so carelessly but it pained you to see him hurting so badly. all you wanted was for him to feel better from his pain and have him go back to the same upbeat, positive cal you knew. “it was a little obvious.. i heard you whispering to me that it would be okay. then i felt your hand on my chest for a few minutes.” 

he laid back on your bed, hands now behind his head. you laid next to him, and one of his hands moved to entwine your fingers together. “before meeting you all, my life was the same every day. wake up, scrap for parts.. fear for my life, sleep, then repeat. i was so afraid someone would find out that i was force sensitive.. and i imagine that’s how you feel too.” cal concluded. he turned on his side, releasing your hand after a soft squeeze. “you can tell me anything, y/n.”

your hands shakily reached up to cup his cheeks, and his eyes peered directly into yours as if he could feel what you were feeling. your thumbs ran over each freckle on his face, and you could feel his muscles move when he smiled. his hand moved up over yours, and his smile traveled straight to the forested green eyes you found yourself loving so much. cal was truly something else. he was special. he had a heart of gold, he cared so much about everyone else before himself. you aspired to be like him. 

sighing, you leaned forwards as he closed his eyes, finally relaxing in your hands. it was now or never, a phrase you commonly found yourself repeating, made your way into your mind as you looked down at his lips. they look soft. you wanted to so badly just lean forward a tiny bit more and close the gap between the two of you. you wanted only to kiss him, to show him how much he meant to you. “go ahead.” you heard him say, “kiss me.” 

with his words of confirmation, you leaned forward and closed the distance. your lips fit together like a puzzle piece, and you couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss. one of your hands moved from his face, playing gently at the ends of his beautiful locks that complimented his fair and soft complexion. he hummed against your lips, before smiling.

this was your first kiss. it was his too. you wanted to save it for the right person, and you firmly believed that cal kestis was that person. he only pulled away to catch his breath, and his eyes opened to meet yours. you smiled back at him like a lovesick puppy. “can we stay like this?” you asked him, eyes still admiring his face like he was the only person in the whole galaxy. to you, he was. he was the only person in the galaxy at that moment. he nodded back to you. 

with your hands still laying rest on his cheeks, you felt at home. you felt at home like this, with him. you hoped he felt the same with you. 

[generallynerdy]

And they’ve already began forgetting, whether they know it or not (Cal Kestis/Hera Syndulla/Kanan Jarrus)

Summary: With Vader on their tails, Cal tells Hera a hard truth. She doesn’t want to hear it, but she needs to. The only question is, will Kanan ever forgive them for this?

Warnings: Angst, Fake Character Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Burns, Serious Injuries, Self-Sacrifice, Goodbyes, Nightmares, Scars

Word Count: 2,343

Prompt: Angstpril Day 1 - “You have to let me go.”

Author’s Note: you know the Inquisitor!Cal concept I was ranting about? Yeah, this is the start of it lol. I saw that the first Angstpril prompt matched one of my lines of dialogue perfectly and lost my shit, so it’s basically destiny. I hope to continue this in the future as a series, but for now enjoy this terrible, depressing one-shot. :) Title is from Obituary Generator by Mariah Bosch.

Read On AO3

*

“Hera!”

She won’t stop running. Her body burns with the effort and Cal tugs her hand, trying to stop her, but she keeps going. She may not be able to feel the poison of Vader’s presence quite so literally as he and Kanan can, but she knows he’s not far away.

“They’re in the tunnel, it’s not much farther—” she manages breathlessly.

“Hera, stop!”

He stops cold, forcing her to turn and face him.

The lights flicker in the lifeless hallway, the pair the only people in sight. The floor is cold and the walls dark, the choking colour scheme of an Imperial fortress. Cal feels it more than she does; the Force here is entirely dark and threatens to drown him each passing moment. Maybe that’s why he’s more winded than his Twi’lek companion, or maybe it’s the lightsaber wound across his chest.

Hera had managed to save him from dying at Vader’s blade, but that scar will always remain. It burns into his skin like shame.

“If Vader catches up,” Cal gasps out, breath heaving, “he’ll kill all of us.”

“He won’t if we keep going,” she says sharply, ever sure of herself. “C’mon—”

He pulls her back before she can keep walking. “Hera.” It’s firm and fearful enough to keep her still. “I can distract him.”

BD-1, on the floor next to his feet, wails in distress.

Her eyes widen. “No. No! No, absolutely not—”

“I’m a liability,” he argues, unable to even gesture to his injury without wincing at the pull. “He can’t get his hands on the holocron. If you run ahead, you can get it to Kanan and Cere and the three of you can get the hell out of here.”

“He will kill you!” She grabs his poncho and holds him close. “Or worse, turn you into an Inquisitor!”

Cal cradles her face, his eyes shining with desperation. “My life for thousands,” he whispers. “Like my Masters before me.”

“I can’t let you do this, Cal.”

Already, she’s crying. He’s a stubborn son of a bitch and they both know it. The decision might have already been made, considering the ache she already feels in her chest. It’s not her choice and yet she feels guilt rise like nausea.

He reveals the Holocron, pressing it into her shaking hands. “Bring it to Cere. Protect it with your lives or destroy it,” he orders. “Give those kids the chance me and Kanan never got.”

The chance to live. He thinks of Master Jaro, of Master Depa, Grey, and Styles. He thinks of his fellow Padawans, all cut down in the name of power. But most of all he thinks of the children listed in that Holocron, who have committed a crime all their lives without ever knowing it.

BD whirrs and it pulls in Cal’s chest. He gives a sad smile, crouching to the little droid’s height.

“Go with Hera, buddy, okay? She’ll take care of you.” He pets BD’s head, trying to ignore the whines he makes. After a moment, he looks back up at Hera. “I’ll hold him back as long as I can.”

A sob lodges itself in Hera’s throat. “Kanan will never forgive you.”

It’s supposed to be a joke, but Cal shuts his eyes tight, pained by the thought as he stands again.

“And you will?” he asks with a rueful huff of laughter.

She puts a gentle hand on his cheek, caressing a scar that rests there. “I already have,” she murmurs.

He shuts his eyes again, that same grimace on his face as he rests his forehead against hers. Then, he kisses her. It’s gentle and drawn out, a lingering sensation against her salty lips. She takes it with an aching sort of grief, the pit of a forbidden knowledge heavy in her stomach. No one should know when their last interaction with someone is, but she does.

“That was for you,” Cal says when he pulls back.

He kisses her again, fiercely this time. It has a message, one she doesn’t understand.

“That was for Kanan.”

He’ll understand it, even if she never will.

Hera hugs him, burying her face in his shoulder as his hand rests on her back. One of her lekku twists around his wrist, as if reminding her of his steadily beating pulse.

Alarms begin to roar around them, a warning.

“Hera.” It’s gentle at first, but he must sense something because desperation catches in his voice. “You have to let me go. Let go. Hera, let go.”

He pries her off, taking her hands in his gloved ones. Though it’s ridiculous, he wishes that an Echo of hers would spark to life and give him one last memory to think of. Instead, he’s left wiping away the remnant of a tear from her cheek. He steps back after, pulling his lightsaber off his belt.

Hera swallows. “Cal, I—”

I love you.

She can’t say it. And she curses herself for it.

They’ve never needed words, but it would mean everything to hear it out loud, just once. Just once, she begs her own unmoving lips.

He smiles, knowing and sad and all the more infuriating. “Me, too,” he whispers.

Not too far away now, another lightsaber buzzes to life.

“Go,” he says finally, his face sharpening into something like determination. “Get out of here!”

She nods and tucks the holocron away into her jacket, allowing BD to hop onto her shoulder. Her first steps are in lead boots, but finally, she manages to shake herself out of her stupor and turn away, running toward the exit. It takes everything in her not to look back, not to seek out one last glimpse of that fiery red hair and the twin pair of yellow blades that snap and hiss as they activate. BD watches, though, a little light blinking on the side of his head. He chirps, almost like a goodbye, but Cal never hears it.

Opposite Cal, the shadow of the galaxy’s golden age looms. He brandishes his blood-red blade, bathed in red and yellow light. His rasping breaths haunt the air.

Though it burns more than anything Cal has ever felt before, he twirls his double-bladed lightsaber, letting its golden light wash over him, secure in the knowledge that his fate is his own.

Finally, the ghost speaks.

“Your attempts are admirable, but useless. You and your friends will fall at my hand. There is no escape.”

“Does it look like I’m running?” Cal asks, settling into a fighting stance. “Musty bitch.”

*

Hera flies up from bed, her throat burning like she’s been screaming.

A jerk away from the cold metal wall of her bunk sends her over the edge of it, right toward the floor. She has half a second to close her eyes and brace herself for the impact, but—

It never comes.

She opens her eyes, only to find the floor a few inches away. A green mist encompasses her body, holding her up and keeping her safe. Glancing at the door of her room, she sees Merrin in the doorway, her fingers smoking with that same green mist.

“You should think about installing railings,” the Nightsister says dryly.

Hera only huffs and tenses when she starts to move. With a wave of Merrin’s pale hand, she’s standing upright and is let down carefully. She steadies herself with a deep breath, unaware of the little droid at her friend’s heels.

“Thank you,” she murmurs, dusting herself off. Then, she glances up. “How did you know I was—?”

“I didn’t. Cere asked me to check on you. Lucky for your face.”

If Hera didn’t know her any better, it would be sharp, but unfortunately, she does. So, she snorts. “Lucky for the floor.”

She goes to stretch, her muscles sore with sleep. Instead, she stops abruptly, wincing when her lekku tingles. Lifting a hand to its end, she doesn’t notice the flash of concern on Merrin’s face until she speaks again.

“Alright?”

“Fine, just slept on it funny. It’s numb,” she admits with a rueful laugh.

Raising an eyebrow, Merrin wiggles her fingers, miming magick. “I can help,” she suggests.

Hera visibly hesitates. “...you can?”

Nightsister magicks tend to be dark, according to Kanan and, once upon a time, Cal, but that doesn’t mean they always are. They have the capacity to heal and, though aware of that, Hera didn’t realise they could help with numbness of all things.

“A touch of healing magick and a massage,” Merrin explains shortly. “It’s not rocket science.”

Hera laughs. “If it were, I’d understand it.” Then, she nods. “I’d appreciate it.”

They settle on the bottom bunk, which usually belongs to Sabine. However, the teen has been trying to barter for the top bunk and, with this latest fall, Hera is tempted to give in. The young Mandalorian is sturdier than she is and far less prone to night terrors.

Merrin has a surprisingly gentle touch, carefully interwoven with wisps of glowing mist. Despite her initial reluctance, Hera lets out a grateful sigh when the feeling starts to return to her lekku. It’s like walking around swinging a numb arm; intensely uncomfortable. While Merrin works, BD-1 approaches, beeping concernedly and nudging the Twi’lek’s leg with his head.

“I’m okay, BD,” she reassures gently.

After a moment, Merrin speaks in a whisper. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Hera has to look away from BD-1, something in her chest wrenching. She shuts her eyes. “No,” she says finally. “Not really.”

Merrin must notice her reaction to their droid friend because after a long enough moment to be somewhat normal, she speaks to him. “BD, could you go find her head wrap? She might have left it on the Mantis.”

He leaps up, chirping determinedly. When he rushes out of the room, intent on helping, Hera can’t help but let out a breath of relief.

Still working away, Merrin sighs. “You should hang back when we get to Lothal. We could use a pilot in case things go wrong.”

“Greez already offered,” she reminds her, frowning.

“The Mantis isn’t exactly ideal for the type of cargo we’re... borrowing.” She pauses. “Besides, you need a break.”

“I’m fine.”

She scoffs. “Yes, falling from your bed in a fit of terror is the behaviour of a fine person.” At Hera’s silence, she sighs again. “Look, I’m not the only one who’s noticed. Things have been difficult lately and whatever you see in your sleep isn’t helping. Just...let yourself rest, Hera. The galaxy won’t implode if you take a nap.”

Tell that to the Empire. Maybe they’d hold off on pulling the trigger, she thinks ruefully.

Eventually, she relaxes, and when Merrin finishes, BD reappears. This time, however, he’s not alone. Kanan stands a step behind him, eyes tight with worry. The weight on his shoulders lessens minutely at the sight of Hera.

BD ignores him, running up to the Twi’lek with her leather headwrap held tight in one metal foot. He beeps excitedly as he hands it to her.

She gives him as much of a smile as she can currently manage. “Thank you, BD. You’re my hero.”

He nudges her fondly before scampering over to Merrin, who huffs amusedly.

“C’mon,” she says, leaning down as she stands from the bunk so he can leap onto her shoulder. “Let’s see if we can’t coax Rabid out, hm?”

On their way out of the room, she sends a knowing glance at both Hera and Kanan before the door shuts behind her. Her voice, directed toward the devil droid on her shoulder, starts to fade after a few moments, growing more distant.

“I…” Kanan has to clear his throat, which is drier than Tatooine. “I felt your distress in the Force. Came back as soon as I could. You okay?”

Hera takes a moment to slip on her headwrap, grateful at the fact that her lekku are no longer tingling. “Better now, I think,” she admits.

He takes a step forward, asking. At her nod, he moves to sit beside her on the lower bunk and pulls her to his side. She rests her head on his shoulder. Shutting her eyes, she finally lets herself relax, knowing that she must be safe here, of all places. She takes comfort in Kanan’s touch and the way he runs his thumb across her shoulder, too. His breath of relief against her forehead makes her smile, just a little.

(And it certainly helps to clutch the stupid poncho he’s wearing in her hand. It’s an ugly near-white with black patterning that forms an arrow near the bottom. Outlander was what Cal called it. He loved giving them dramatic names like he’d made his own clothing line or something. Hera hates the Outlander one.)

“Nightmares?” he murmurs.

She nods slightly.

He hesitates, but finally asks what she’s anticipating. “The same one again?”

“Isn’t it always?” she retorts, more sad than sharp. There’s a long moment of silence before she speaks again and when she does, her voice wavers. “I can’t remember what he looked like.”

“Hera—”

“I know he had a scar on his cheek and across the bridge of his nose, that he had red hair and green eyes and the cutest karking smile in the galaxy, but I can’t remember it,” Hera says shakily. “I know what he should look like, but I can’t...picture it. And it drives me insane.”

Kanan squeezes her shoulder. “It’s been ten years. I forget, too.”

“I hate it,” she whispers.

The kiss to her temple is sweet and soft and it should bring her some sort of relief, but it doesn’t. It’s not nearly enough and Kanan knows that. There’s nothing he can do to soothe the ache in her chest where Cal used to live, because he can’t even soothe his own gaping wound.

All he can do is hold her close and say: “I know. I know.”

But, thinking of tear-stained, freckled cheeks and a bitter kiss goodbye, she can’t help but wonder if he really does.

*

River’s Tags: @mystoragehatesme & @hahaboop

Masterlist

[obihoekenobi]

title: green eyes - chapter three

pairings: cal kestis & din djarin

ratings: general

word count: 1,033k

other chapters: one | two | four

What if Cal Kestis had heard Grogu reaching out instead of Luke?

A vast jungle greets them, as they break through the atmosphere of Kashyyyk. Din had travelled to a lot of places over the years, but he still feels his breath catch as they descend past towering green trees.

He could hear Cal explaining its importance, and the sanctuary that it offered, but Din couldn't concentrate on anything but the sight that spread out infront of them. 

It looks ancient, untouched. Like so few places left in the galaxy. There was signs of Imperialism, sure, in the glinting silver platforms and structures that peek from beneath the trees, but they're swallowed by the nature surrounding them.

Din can't help but smile when he finds Grogu similarly engrossed.

Like father, like son, a quiet voice supplies in the back of his head.

Din feels himself flushing at the notion, embarrassed by his own presumption. By the claim.

As if sensing his thoughts, Cal's hand rests against his pauldron. Din's eye catch on pale fingers, as they splay over the symbol of the Mudhorn. Din wonders if he would be upset, if it was anyone else.

"We'll be landing now in a moment". 

Nodding absentmindedly, Din decides it's a thought for later on, when there are no potentially mind-reading wizards around

In true Grogu fashion, they're on the planet barely five minutes before he's nearly eaten.

Before Cal can even finish announcing them, Grogu powers on ahead. Tiny legs carrying him up the gang plank surprisingly fast. Din spares a moment for every harried parent he ever dismissed while making port. It seems almost like karma now.  

Din can't remember if he was ever that much of a handful, when he was a Foundling. 

An excited squeal has him jogging up the gangplank after the green terror, his heart stopping at the sight that greets him. 

Grogu is clutched firmly in his hands and his flamethrower is pointed directly at the creature when he feels his hand seize mid-air. A glance over his shoulder confirms what he thinks, Cal's hand splayed out towards him and an exclamation still on the edge of his lips.

"It's okay, he's friendly", Cal says, hand dropping quickly once he seems Din no longer plans to roast the furry beast. The tension in his fingers loosens instantly, and Din clenches his fist in response. Just to make sure. 

"He snuck onto our ship, years ago", Cal continues, as the creature stares balefully up at him. Din feels himself twitch, as he sees the silver reflection of himself in two watery, large eyes. It almost givee the kid a run for his money. 

"I should have warned you", he says, "sometimes I forget he's even there".

Din doesn't bother asking how that's possible, instead leveling his gaze on the squirming green bundle in his hands.

"We've talked about this", Din says, giving him a gentle shake to reaffirm his point. He's rewarded with another set of watery, black eyes staring up at him.

"I think the others are around here somewhere, they probably haven't gone far", Cal says, saving him from his own personal hell.

As if to demonstrate his point, they hear a voice clear itself from outside. 

"Merrin!", Cal exclaims excitedly, ushering the woman forward. It's only when she steps out of the glare of the sun, that Din realizes her skin is a light gray and decorated with delicate, dark lines. She's beautiful. Din contemplates what that might mean. 

"Hello", she says, her voice accented and steady. She's from Dathomir, Din realizes suddenly and is glad of the helmet hiding his surprise. Din thought the Nightsister's were a group on the edge of extinction.

Like Mandalorians, his mind supplies helpfully. 

"I could feel you return", she continues, and oh, Din thinks. Of course, she's a witch as well. All the Nightsisters are. They made sense together. 

"This is the child?", she asks, gesturing curiously towards Grogu. She makes no move to reach for him, not without permission anyway, and Din decides that he likes her. 

"Yes", Cal says, "and this is his father, he's a Mandalorian". 

Cal can't help but notice he doesn't mention his name. Again, waiting for his permission. He also calls him his father. 

"Din Djarin", he supplies, tipping his helmet towards her.

"Well met, Din Djarin".

She seems posed to speak again, when they're interrupted by more noise from outside the ship. 

Din's hand twitches instinctively towards his blaster but he relaxes when he sees the fond exasperation in Cal's eyes, as he squints out across the clearing they've made rest in. 

"And here comes the rest of our ragtag group, please come and meet them as well".

Merrin steps aside respectfully, making no move to follow as they exit the ship. Din would usually be glad of it, overwhelmed as he was, but he can't help but miss her grounding presence as they step back into the sunlight. 

A male Latero is making his way towards them, his voice raised in compliant as he pushes a woman along in a hover chair. 

The woman looks peaceful, smiling serenely as she listens to her companion. Her hair is short, a resplendent white against dark skin. Din recognises her instantly as another Jedi.

She has the same air of peace that Cal and Ahsoka both carried, like they were apart from the rest of the world. 

The complaining cuts of abruptly, as the Latero catches sight of them.

"What's this, is the heat getting to me or is that a fully armored Mandalorian standing right in front of me?".

"Hey Greez", Cal says, throwing a conspiring smile at Din as they draw closer.

"Is this him, the child who was knocking on the proverbial Force door?".

"Does he look like a child to you?".

It's the woman this time, and she sounds like she's containing a laugh behind her wry smile. 

"I don't know, he could be anything under there", Greez exclaims, heatedly, "you never.... is that Yoda?".

This time both Cal and the woman laugh, and Din is momentarily distracted by the warm sound of Cal's laughter before he finally registers the rest of sentence. 

Greez continues, undeterred.

"Oh my God, did someone shrink him?".

Link to AO3

[rilakkosmos]

Softly, but with Feeling

Pairing: Cal Kestis x Reader

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort & Absolute Unapologetic Fluff, sue me (The kids are calling it whump these days? Is that it?)

Summary: You find Cal awake at night, suffering from his nightmares again. But this time, he has a request. Or two...

A/N: Ho-kay so, I was heavily inspired by @bd1babey​‘s lil fic and I knew I had to write something (I haven’t written in 3 years. The things a muse can do to you...)

-Krsssht- The sharp sound of your cabin door opening made you cringe just a little. A little tragedy of the world: when you wake up in the middle of the night with a parched throat and suddenly you're ravenous for water. Shuffling to the kitchen of the Mantis, you find your prize and guzzle your entire cup in seconds. 

A little piece of heaven in the world: when you drink cool water-

Your ears perk up, a small sound catches your attention and you search for the source. In the hall? Was it the little Bogling that you and Cal had brought home? Did Merrin wake as well? It sounded almost like... sniffling. You curiously entered the hallway, padding along the panel flooring as if to hide your presence. Nearing the end of the hall, your brows furrowed. Was it...Cal? 

You approach his door, it was closed but you could still hear something...

"Cal?" You sound out questioningly. A small -bwoop- bubbles out from behind the door before the noise stops and you hear some shuffling on the other side. 

"Are you alright?" Your voice is drowned out by the loud -krsssht- of the door opening. 

Cal looks like he just woke up, but his eyes look redder than you'd expect. He's in his PJs, hand laid on the threshold and eyes looking a little saggy but attentive to you. 

"Hey, sorry" as soon as he looks at you, his eyes move away, sheepish but sweet. "Just had some trouble uh... sleeping."

"Was it nightmares again?"

His lip trembles.

"Yeah"

You give him a tilt of your head, looking him over once more as he quickly scratches his nose.

"You... Did you want to talk about it?" 

He says nothing but stole a glance as he gives way, sitting back on his bed. You take a seat next to him and fold a leg under your knee. Cal knows you're there for him. He's shared with you before, so this isn't anything new. You know how fresh and vivid dreams can be, however, so you try to comfort him when you can. You also know he doesn't like to bother anybody with his problems, but you've seen what seems like the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders, and if there's any way you could whisk the hurt away, you'd do it.

You sit there with him in silence for a moment before he begins to speak.

"It was the premonition from the Vault," he starts. "I feel like I know every one of those children."

You listen as your hand finds his on the sheets. He takes it gingerly while BD finds a spot next to you both on the bed.

"I think what hurt the most was the complete void in my heart when I was... Turned."

You nod and begin to rub circles with your thumb. He had explained to you in great detail the vision he saw when unlocking the Vault on Zeffo, it shook you to your core and you hadn't even been there. You could only imagine the heartbreak he suffered. 

"I felt," he spoke again, but you heard tears in his voice. He was crying again, softly, and broke his sentence.

"I felt nothing. Looking at them in the cell, I felt nothing and I," he stops again and you immediately grow closer, wiping away his tears with your thumb.

"Cal, I'm sorry. I know it's hard to carry that with you. But hey," you paused and cupped his cheek.

"You saved them. You saved all of them, and the Force will guide them. You did the right thing and I'm so proud of you." You smile, brushing a fallen lock of hair to the side before retreating back to holding his hand. He says nothing for a moment, gaze turned to the floor before he smiles softly with you. 

Cal looks up at you once more and nods. 

"Thank you. For... listening, and all." He ruffles and smooths his hair, steals another glance and clears his throat. 

"Do you- do you think you could... Stay? Just for a little while." You look around, sitting here on his small bed, and nod.

"Yeah, of course."

Deciding to take a page from his book and be bold, you take his pillow and place it against you before opening your arms. He watches you and stifles a chuckle before lightly shrugging and laying with you. Both of you grin at the little droid curiously tilting their head. You find your fingers carding through his hair and holding him comfortably.

"Could you.. maybe sing something for me? Just, if you want to. Your voice is really beautiful."

Thanking every star in the sky, you're glad your face is out of his view or he would see your pink cheeks.

"For you? Absolutely." Feigning a joke, you wrack your brain for a song to sing him before you remember a special lullaby from your childhood. 

You take a breath and begin your song, voice terribly soft and almost trembling from the thrum of your heartbeat. Soon, after the second line, you lean into it more and let your voice ring through the small cabin. BD lifts their head and listens in.

Soon you're in your zone and the chorus comes easily to you. Remembering that this is a lullaby, you soften your voice a little more as the song continues, fingers still gently running through Cal's hair. Your song ends with a held note that you diminish into the still air.

Once it's finished, you come back to your senses and feel Cal slowly breathing against you. He's fallen back asleep like nothing ever happened. Looking down at him and his fluttering eyelashes, you think to yourself. Can't hurt, right? 

Leaning ever so slightly down, you place a kiss on his hair, hoping he did but didn't feel it. 

You lean your head on his while the hum of the ship's engine puts you back to your much-needed rest.

--------

A/N: If you’d like to know, the song is Light in the Hallway. :) More to come!

[obi-wan-is-babe]

Stargazing

Relationship: Cal Kestis x f!Reader

Summary: “Shh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.” “You look handsome in the moonlight.” *fluff*

Key: Y/N= your name

_________________

“They’ll never make it.”

“Greez! Not funny,” Cere slapped the Lateron on his top right shoulder. She scooted her chair closer to the table to get a better look at Cal and Y/N on the couch. She watched for a minute as they just chatted with each other. “I think they’re cute. Y/N seems to get through to him in a way we never could.”

“Still, they’re going to fast,” Greez turned his back to his dinner to look at the two sitting on the couch. “In my day...”

“In your day, there was no Empire.” Merrin appeared and walked over to the table. “While I do not understand your relationship culture, I would say they get along well and they seem to care for each other. Is that not enough?” She looked concerned, like maybe she did not understand the culture at all and was afraid she would be wrong.

Cere gave her a quick, reassuring smile. “That’s exactly enough,” Cere stared Greez down with a pointed look.

Greez grunted dejectedly then snatched up his dinner. “I’m gonna eat this in the cockpit,” and he stormed off. Cere just sighed and invited Merrin to join her at the table.

Cal watched as Greez stomped past the two of you. He turned to look at you with an innocent curiosity, “What do you think’s wrong with him?”

“I don’t think he likes me much.”

“What! How could he not like you?”

You looked into his puppy dog eyes, and melted under his adorable gaze. You could not understand how he did it. Cal was always perfectly sweet and a little confused, it broke through everything you had built up to protect yourself during your time rebeling against the Empire, it felt awful and amazing all at once. “Don’t worry about it right now. I’ll talk to him later.” You watched as his lips turned into a subtle smile. You scooted slightly closer to him, letting your legs touch ever so gently.

A blush spread quickly up Cal’s cheeks and he went to lean closer to you when-

“Landing! Everybody get into their chairs so we can be safe,” Greez’s voice rang throughout the Mantis, shocking you and Cal into jumping apart.

Cal ran a hand over the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly, “Guess we gotta...go...sit.”

You grinned back at him and nodded. You watched as he walked into the cockpit and sat next to Greez.

“You and Cal are very compatible,” Merrin’s voice came from behind you.

You jump and grab at your chest. After catching up to your heartbeat, you spun around to look at her. “Merrin! You startled me.”

“Apologies. I just thought I should tell you.” She studied your currently blush filled face for a moment. “Have I upset you? Your face is flushed.”

You touched your cheeks gently. “Uh, no. No. I’m not upset. Uh...thank you. I guess.” You watched her nod slowly and wander over to a place to sit before landing. It was that obvious, huh, even Merrin could tell you liked Cal. It felt like everyone, even BD-1, could tell you like Cal. Everyone except the daft boy himself.

As you sat during landing, you couldn’t help but think about those grassy, green eyes of his and the way they look at you when you talk to him. And the way he ruffles his rusty colored hair when he doesn’t know what to do. You let out an audible sigh, and immediately regretted it. You glanced made sure no one heard it, but then you caught his eye and he smiled at you. Gods, you could have melted right then and there.

Tonight, you thought to yourself, I’m telling him tonight.

The Mantis took to landing in a big open field in the middle of the forest, an area where Imperials are to lazy to travel all the way to and check. This was one of your first contributions to the group when Cal saved you from the troopers in one of the villages nearby. In all honesty, this place was beautiful but came with heavy baggage that you never really wanted to come back to. But for the Resisitance, for Cal, you would do almost anything.

You landed around the highest point in the moons’ rotation. The stars were sparkling and you knew the night would be warm. It was always warm and comfortable. Right after landing, Greez and Cere took off to meet with a Resistance informant.

Before leaving, Cere pulled you aside. You looked at her in confusion before she gave you a slight smile. “You and Cal should go stargazing, it’s a lovely evening.” You immediately looked to the ground and started stuttering a response when she gave your shoulder a pat and walked away.

“I will be exploring this evening.” Merrin’s deadpanned voice again surprising you. You just nodded in response, trying to calm you heart for the second time.

As you stood there regaining your sense of being, Cal cleared his throat behind you. You spun around ready to hit something this time.

“Woah! Hold it. It’s just me.” His eyes dug into yours and you relaxed.

“Sorry, it’s just...Merrin puts me on edge when she does that.” You both laughed lightly then stood in a pleasant silence. You were the one to break the silence when you asked Cal, “Would you like to go stargazing?”

A wide grin broke across his face, “I’d like nothing more.”

The two of you made your way to the top of the Mantis, bringing one of Cal’s ponchos to use as a blanket. As you acended the ladder, Cal reached the top first and offered you his hand as you followed up behind him. You took his hand and stepped onto the top of the ship. Cal laid down his poncho and the two of you took a seat.

The two of you made pleasent conversation, you told him stories of other rebels you had met and he’d talk about some of the weird things he found while scrapping ships. At some point, Cal ended up sitting behind you as you told him about the first time you had talked to a Force-wielder, she had really cool duel lightsabers.

You had only noticed when you felt a light tugging at you hair. You bend your head backwards to look at him, “What are you doing?” You giggled slightly at the concentration in his face.

“Shh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.” He pushed your head back up and went back to the light tuggin of your hair.

“How do you know how to braid hair?”

“I learned when I was a padawan, I watched as many fellow padawans get their braids done and kind of picked it up.”

“Oh,” you forgot to hide your surprise, “I always forget that you’re a Jedi.”

“Well, I’m not technically. I never went through the final trials.” You heard the sadness in his voice. “The Jedi Order fell before I was even any bit prepared to take them.”

You gently reached back and took his hands off your hair. You scooted around to look at him and took his hands in yours. “I’m sure you would’ve made a great Jedi.” Your eyebrows raised slightly in a reassuring expression. Cal gave you a crooked smile and gripped your hands a little tighter.

Hesitantly, you leaned forward and touched your forehead to his, and felt as he leaned into it. Your shoulders relaxed and in that moment, everything felt right.

You two sat like that forever, your original task left up in the heavens as you experienced the galaxy right across from you. The wind gently caressed you two and the moonlight seemed to glow brighter. The Empire and the Resistance was forgotten. Greez, Cere, Merrin all left behind this moment.

Every little moment between the two of you was deepening this contact and it was perfect.

“Hey! Cal! Y/N! Get down from there!” Greez’s voice was so faint, but it broke through the silence that Cal and you were so desperate to share.

You pulled away first, looking into his eyes with an understanding you felt more than knew. He looked content and happy, all you had ever wanted for him.

You leaned forward, so you could speak only to him. “You look handsome in the moonlight,” you whispered in his ear. When you pulled back, you could see the tips of his ears grow pink.

The ship was never the same after Cal met Y/N.

[capricornus-rex]

A Test of Wills (7 - End)

Requested by Anon. Prompt:

What about...Cal x reader fic, getting stuck on Jakku because the Mantis needs repairs?

Cal Kestis x Reader

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Masterlist

7 of 7

From your periphery, you hear the humming sound of Rani’s landspeeder—it was the only vehicle that made that particular noise. You saw that Rani had a passenger: it was Cal.

He was dismounting the vehicle when you came rushing towards him.

“Cal?”

“Hey, [y/n],”

You caught his arms, supported him as he was still in pain.

“You should’ve just waited for me, you know that?” You scoffed.

An awkward pause lingered, you didn’t know what to say or where to start.

“Rani told me everything. Thank you… for saving my life,”

“I’m sorry it got you into this mess—my­ mess,” you mumbled under your breath, ashamed.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. For what it’s worth, I should be the one apologizing. I just didn’t want you getting hurt again like in your past,”

You didn’t speak anymore, you caressed his cheek and beckoned him to follow you to the cart full of parts; the three of you approached Unkar’s errand boy and double-checked the parts you asked for. The errand boy hooked a tow cable onto the landspeeder’s winch, you tipped the helper, and sped out of the outpost.

Greez and Cere huffed out sighs of relief when they finally saw you and Cal come back to the ship—with the parts, no less. You even introduced Rani to the rest of the crew, Merrin especially had an endearing curiosity towards your friend. Rani helped you load in the parts into the Mantis and put it down in the engine room. She was impressed with the interior of the ship as she strode in carrying the parts in her arms.

“I guess this is where we part ways again, Rani,” you said in a melancholic tone.

“Hey, I’ll see you on the other side of the galaxy—like we always do,”

“Thank you again for your help, my friend. We couldn’t have done it without you,”

Rani smiled back and clapped your shoulder, she turned to Cal, “Take care of her, will you?”

“Of course. But I think she’s pretty busy taking care of me,”

Rani heartily laughed at Cal’s response. You embraced your friend one last time before she left the Mantis.

The sound of her landspeeder receded into the distance; as for you, there was work to be done. You volunteered to crawl into the narrow gap of the engine while Cal hands over the parts you needed.

Cal found you awfully quiet while you worked. He sensed the guilt within you and the anger that you’ve imposed on yourself.

“You still mad at me for not waiting for you?”

No answer. Your hand poked out of the open and pointed to the wrench. You got impatient after three seconds until Cal willingly handed it over and followed up with another question.

“Still mad at me for sneaking out?”

You shake your head while you fitted the first power cell into the hatch. You asked for the next power cell but Cal didn’t hand it over; you tilt your head up and see him leaning against the thin bannister that separates the quarters from the engine hatch.

“Come on, Cal, give it to me,”

You hopelessly hopped up with your arm extending upward.

“Don’t make me come up there!”

“Or?” he cooed, waving the power cell in your face tauntingly.

“I’ll pull you by the legs and make you land on your ass so hard you’re gonna ache all over again,”

Cal didn’t seem to be intimidated by that threat, although the thought of aching all over again somehow scared him. He almost felt like an old man with the sore joints and limbs. You hopped again, but Cal easily dodged your grasp, the part is still within his clutches.

“Ah-ah-ah, come on, you weren’t even answering my questions!”

You sighed in defeat. Attempting to snatch the power cell from his hands would be too difficult—he literally has the high ground, while you’re inside the engine hatch of the ship.

“I’m not mad. Just upset. Upset that you had to go into the ring when you shouldn’t be,”

“You weren’t exactly doing a good job in hiding your intentions,”

“But I never said anything!”

“Uh-huh, but your mind did. You tend to forget that your feelings and thoughts are as vocal as they can be, especially when you’re—what’s in a word?—passionate about something.”

“Really, Cal?”

Your response was both a general reaction to both his child-like way of stalling you from work and his colorful choice of word. He gave up and then handed over the part, to which you gave a grateful smile—albeit having a mischievous hint in it—and continued on with your work.

The metal gave out loud clangs as you tried to fit together the parts like a jigsaw puzzle.

“What the—I don’t get it!”

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, this one power cell won’t budge in. I put it in the same way I did with the first one, though. Strange.”

Cal jumped into the engine hatch. You hugged the wall while Cal examined the power cell, he loosened the clamps and tried putting the power cell in a different side. Obviously, with the both of you there, the engine hatch was a tight squeeze.

“Here we go, you didn’t fully loosen the clamp on the bottom side—that’s why it won’t budge in,”

“Oh, my bad,”

“The calibration tube needs a bit of refitting too. Hand me the soldering iron, will you?”

“Sure,”

As you stand on the tip of your toes, half of your face barely pops out in the open but you can still see the tools lying about. You reached for the soldering iron and fall flat on your feet again. Just as when you were about to turn around, it almost came out of nowhere—in a split second, a bright spark nearly blinded you and the electricity crackling took you by surprise.

Cal suddenly trapped you with his hands stuck to the wall on both of your sides, shielding you from the wild crackling with the broad of his back, and his chest blocking your view from the blinding light.

“I hope you didn’t damage anything. I want neither of us to fight again!” you exclaimed.

“Sorry. Don’t worry,” Cal slowly pulled away and realized that there were only a few inches between the two of you. “It was just a circuit that kinda… hotwired.”

“Did it?”

“Come on, we can find another part if ever,” he tried to console you, the volume of his voice now hushed and secretive.

“It won’t be that easy,”

“What’s so bad about that? I think I can handle myself pretty well,” he smirked confidently.

You chuckled in a scoffing manner and then rolled your eyes, “Yeah, and be like a scoundrel like the rest of them out there?”

“You don’t like a bad boy?”

You shrug, avoiding his gaze shifting between your eyes and your lips as he nestled your chin atop the knuckle of his thumb.

“Depends…”

“Oh, depends,” he echoed.

He slowly tilts your chin up to his level, your heart was racing—any moment now it could burst right out of your chest—and gets faster with every second that Cal closes in.

“Cal, not now—”

You were cut off by the brush of his lips against yours; the grip of your fingers around the soldering iron’s handle was loosening up. Cal’s one hand slithered down from the wall, tracing your curves downward until he secured your waist; he pulled you in, your hip brushed against his crotch, he wanted to make sure you could feel it. In the heat of the moment, you didn’t even realize your leg was rubbing up against his thigh, your flesh sank as his bare fingers groped you and the intensity of his lips rose.

It was unsure who between the two of you withdrew first. You pulled away, returning to your senses and catching your breath—all the while your heart is still pounding through your breast; there was the brief moment filled with gasps, while you tried to bring feeling back to your numbed fingers around the soldering iron.

“Well,” you cleared your throat. “I think I should get the hyperspace compressor fitted in the cockpit now.”

You slipped under the other arm that Cal still had planted to the wall. The side of your arm hid half of your face, there you smiled and pursed your lips in secretly as you climbed out of the engine hatch. Before leaving the engine room, you peek through the banister’s gaps.

“Oh and for the record, we’re good. See you at dinner!” You winked.

Cal listened to your footsteps until they faded out. He looked blankly at the floor and smiled to himself like a dork. He bit his lip while smiling and putting away the tools.

[animatedjen]

Merrin | Jedi Survivor

[reality-warp]

Remedial Biomancy - Part 2/5 Cal

“It’s not working, kid.”

“Give it a second.”

“Come on, don’t you think they’d have changed them by now?”

Cal was about to toss another come back from where he was sprawled on his back under the comms panel, but the distraction of exchanging barbs with Greez made his finger slip on the wires he was connecting. A small shower of sparks exploded from the circuits, almost singing his eyebrows off. He swore, the stolen Imperial de-scrambler he was trying to install almost slipping clean out of his hands.

“Let him focus, Greez,” Cere chided, but Cal could hear her amused smile even if he couldn’t see it. Greez grumbled in reply, much like he’d been doing for the past half hour.

“I’m just sayin’. Those codes have been in circulation for over two months. What are the chances they’re still good?”

“The last ones we used worked well enough,” Merrin chipped in, sounding both baffled and faintly amused by Greez’s worry. She was sat on the floor beside Cal’s legs with BD-1 at her side, handing him the tools he needed as he worked.

“The last ones we used were only to intercept medical supplies,” Greez gripped back, jerking a thumb over one shoulder at the stacks of empty crates crowding the lounge. There was barely enough space to get through to the galley from the cockpit. “And assuming they aren’t bogus and lead the Empire straight to us, why is all this tinkering with my ship necessary?"

“Because these ones are supposed to be much higher level, the kind only the Admirals and Inquisitors can use. Even with the right codes to receive the transmissions, you need an Imperial de-scrambler to decode the messages as they come in,” Cere explained patiently.

“Otherwise, you get nothing but this,” Cal added, tapping the underside of the comms station with a screwdriver for emphasis. For the past five minutes it had been giving off nothing but a grating static noise like a badly tuned radio, and it was beginning to get on all their nerves.

BD-1 gave a trill of questioning bleeps, and Cal could see the frown appearing on Merrin’s face without seeing to look.

“What is he saying? Something about attack plans?” The former Nightsister was still learning Binary, and some of the droids lightning-fast chatter still went over her head.

“He’s asking why we don’t give the codes and de-scrambler directly to the Rebellion so they can use it for attack plans,” Cal translated for her, holding the soldering iron in his teeth for a second as he let the two wires cool and fuse together.

Merrin made a noise of comprehension and shifted to look at Cere.

“It is a fair question.”

Cere exhaled as if just thinking of the question was exhausting.

“We could. But if these codes got into someone like Saw Gerrera's hands, he’d just use them to strike at their weapons factories, their shipyards. Not free civilians, slaves, or use them to get supplies to starving cities who’ve been blockaded.”

Difficult as it was for him to wrestle with sometimes, Cal had already had this discussion with Cere when he’d found/stolen the de-scrambler from an imperial camp, and he knew what she was saying made sense. For the past month the crew of the Mantis had taken up something of a smuggling role within the Rebellion, and they’d been almost frighteningly effective at it. Several of the rebel leaders who’d met Cal had wanted him to fight alongside them in their ongoing skirmishes, but none of them could deny that their people needed food and supplies far more right now than they needed a single recently knighted Jedi—even one capable of as much as he apparently was.

They were just better suited to supporting than frontline fighting, and as much as Greez hated to admit it, the Mantis was turning out to be the perfect emergency supply runner. The small luxury yacht’s paint job had changed enough times to make it difficult to recognise and was just flashy enough that anyone who didn’t know her reputation would never guess she was carrying an ex-Jedi, a former Padawan, a Nightsister of Dathomir, and a Latero gambler who was still wanted by the Haxion Brood — let alone stolen cargo.

Merrin was quiet for a brief moment, then she made a small noise of understanding.

“I think I see. You’re saying if your Rebellion uses this information for grand battle plans, and the Empire finds out they have access to their high-level communications…

“We’ll all lose a massive tactical advantage, yeah,” Cal finished for her from under the comms panel. Cere made a soft sound of regretful agreement.

“We can share the information we gather with the Rebellion, help them get an advantage. But we can do a lot more ongoing good with this in smaller ways than grand attacks and battles.”

Greez made a sputtering noise.

“What so we’re heroes now? Saving the Galaxy on our lonesome, one yacht full of food crates at a time?”

“Better that than we knowingly leave a blockaded colony to starve,” Cal said, his thoughts coming out through his mouth on pure instinct. He couldn’t see her, but he could feel the approval radiating from Cere at those words. Greez scoffed, slapping the armrest of his chair lightly.

“Come on, kid. Even if you’re right, and even with all their bureaucratic red tape holding the Imps back, there’s just no way they’re gonna fall for the stolen-clearance-codes gambit a second ti—.”

Cal connected the last wire to the de-scrambler, and the mess of static coming through the comms instantly cleared out to the crisp, clear sound of Binary. BD-1 made a series of celebratory chirps as Cal shimmied out from under the comms panel to throw Greez a cheerful smirk.

“What did I tell you?”

Greez tisked and waved him off with two of his four hands.

“Alright, alright, no one likes a wiseass, kid."

Cere waved at them all to be quiet as she listened to the incoming transmission, running the lightning-fast Binary through a translator and reading the results as they appeared on the screen. Cal sensed the change in her before he saw the expression on her face shift from focused, to confused, to outright worried.

“What is it?” He asked instantly, clambering up off the floor. “Another outbound shipment?”

“Of a sort,” Cere admitted, looking suddenly even more uneasy as she kept reading. There wasn’t much that spooked Cere these days, not since everything they’d been through on Nur. The look instantly set Cal’s instincts on edge.

“More supplies?” He guessed hopefully.

“Food?” Merrin offered.

“Credits?” Greez sounded maybe a bit more hopeful than he should have. Cere gave their pilot an exasperated look and shook her head.

“None. It’s a formal transmission from the Lothal mining operation directly to the Inquisitorius.”

All of them blinked in shock at that. It had only been a few months since Cal and Cere had effectively blown up, flooded, and sank the last Inquisitors headquarters, and while they’d know that wouldn’t be the end of the operation, Cal hadn’t expected them to recover quite so quickly.

But that wasn’t the main reason he could feel ice forming in his blood…

“Why is a Lothal mining settlement calling the Inquisitorius?” He heard himself ask, not sure if he was ready to hear the answer. Cere grimaced.

“They’re sending a Purge Trooper squad to the settlement hospital. The Head Medic there has personally requested an investigation of his staff,” she answered, glancing up at him from the screen with a grim look. “He believes there’s a Force-sensitive in hiding out there.”

The longing Cal had been trying to suppress for the past five years reared its head inside him, trying to shove its way to the surface. He gently but firmly pushed it down, refusing to let that hope overpower his judgement again, no matter how much he wanted to believe it could be true. That there might really be other survivors like him and Cere out there…

“Does it say who this Head Medic thinks it is? Or why?” Merrin asked, peering curiously at the console over Cere’s shoulder.

BD-1 buzzed and bleeped excitedly from where he’d hopped up on the back of Cere’s chair, not needing the translator to understand the rapid-fire message.

“One of the junior medics. He thinks it’s either a human man called Lyle Tavian or a haedrathi woman called Rinna D’Lai,” Cal easily translated the little droids Binary into Basic. “The Head Medic thinks one of them used the Force to heal a dying kid.”

“It’s the woman,” Cere said without a traced of hesitation, her tone gone stony. They all eyed her warily. 

“How do you know?” Merrin asked.

Cere exhaled headily, muting the message and turning to face them properly, her expression still grim.

“Because I recognise that last name. Rinna D’Lai was haedrathi nurse I met a couple of years after the Purge. She helped hide me from the Empire.”

Cal felt a sudden, unexpected stab of pain deep in his chest.

He’d only ever known one other haedrathi. 

She’d been a healer too, or at least training to be one. She’d also been his best friend when they’d been younglings growing up in the Temple. He hadn’t thought of her in a long time, still couldn’t bear to think her name. And much as he’d once hoped of one day finding her alive out there along with survivors from the Jedi Council, he’d spent the past few years slowly coming to painful terms with the fact that it would never happen.

She was gone, just like everyone else in the Order.

Still, the sudden memory of their last conversation was a sharp, familiar ache that hadn’t lessened even after five years. One he didn’t need right now. So he pushed it away, promising that someday soon he’d deal with the grief for his old friend the same way he’d dealt with his guilt for Master Tapal’s death.

“She was one of the people who helped hide me after my escape from the Inquisitorius,” Cere was explaining. “I have little doubt she’s the one they’re after.”

“If she is a friend of yours, then we should find her,” Merrin said when no one else medially spoke up. She stood and nudged gently past Cal who’d gone quiet for a moment with the sudden stab of memories, bringing up the holo-map of the sector on the navigation console. Merrin had been practically glued to it since he’d first showed her how it worked a few weeks ago, spending hours soaking in all the information she could about how truly massive the Galaxy really was beyond Dathomir.

“Lothal is not far from our current location,” she said, magnifying and highlighting the distance through the nearest hyperspace lanes. “Six hours away.”

Cal pulled himself back to the present with an effort of will and turned to look at Cere again.

“She’s right. If we head there now we could get there before the Purge Troopers do.”

Cere opened her mouth to answer, but Greez—ever the voice of self-preserving caution—got there first.

“Come on, seriously? I thought you just said we’d be using these codes for supply running? Now we’re thinking of launching a full-on rescue mission from Purge Troopers?”

Cal shrugged, his lip turning up with a lopsided smirk.

“It’s not like it would be the craziest thing we’ve done. It’s not even the craziest thing we’ve done this month.”

Greez gave him a halfhearted glare.

“That is not reassuring.”

“Regardless,” Cere interrupted them, the frown still not falling from her face. She leaned forward on her knees, glancing around at them all meaningfully. “There’s just one problem in all this. The real Rinna D’Lai I knew is dead, and she has been dead for over four years.”

This time all of them stopped to just stare at her blankly, including BD-1.

“Ok, someone want to explain? Because I’m totally lost now,” Greez grumbled, throwing up all four of his hands.

“I am also somewhat confused,” Merrin agreed, her brow pinched in a frown.

“Rinna D’Lai died four years ago on Felucia. Or at least the one I knew did,” Cere explained. “She was killed in a transport crash between stations. I saw her ship go down, and there were absolutely no survivors.”

“Maybe someone with the same name?” Greez suggested, but Cere was already shaking her head.

“I don’t think so. Haedrathi are uncommon outside their home system to begin with, and their naming conventions are very strict. No two ever have the same at a time. Whoever is down there, it’s not the same woman I knew.”

Cal saw what she was getting at.

“You think someone stole her identity and is using it to hide from the Empire,” he said, not making it a question.

That certainly explained the expression on Cere’s face, lost somewhere between suspicion, sadness and anger. She didn’t answer for a long moment, clearly reliving a memory from long ago. She only looked up again when Cal reached over and rested a hand on her shoulder.

“Cere, it could still be someone who needs our help,” he pointed out, trying to think this through rationally, but unable to deny how badly he hoped it was someone else like them down there. “And if the Inquisitors are being sent after her, she’s definitely in danger even if she doesn’t turn out to be a Force-sensitive. We should at least try and help.”

Cere considered this for only a moment before nodding and getting up from her chair.

“Agreed. The Rinna I knew was no Force adept, but there’s a good chance whoever is using her name now might well be. And I’d very much like to know who they are, and why they’re using my dead friend’s identity.”

“Hold on, hold on, just one second,” Greez mimed pull on the brakes with two hands while holding up the other two in a stop gesture. “Assuming you’re right about all this, and there is a Force-sensitive damsel in distress or something hiding out down there. How are we supposed to get in and out of an Imperial settlement hospital with a potential fugitive completely unnoticed?”

The question hung in the air or a painfully long second as they all glanced at each other, clearly hoping someone else had a plan.

No one did.

But then Cal’s gaze suddenly caught on the stacks of empty medical supply crates cluttering up the living area—the ones from their last delivery for Mari on Kashyyyk.

That lopsided smirk reappeared as he turned back to face Cere.

“I’ve got an idea.” 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

[animatedjen]

Found a spot on Tanalorr that gives Merrin highlights ✨

[animatedjen]

Merrin | Jedi Survivor

[animatedjen]

I know what I want now. Took you long enough.

[wutroows]

proud (cal kestis x reader)

pairing: cal kestis x force sensitive gn!reader request: Hey, I'm a big Cal Kestis fan too and saw you were looking for more requests to write for him, so I'm sending in one myself. Could you do a Cal x Force Sensitive!Reader where the reader really struggles with the dark side? Mostly hoping for some comfort fluff between them. And one other question, for future reference, do you just write reader inserts or are you willing to write for OCs as well?  requested by: @mrsfullbuster500​  a/n: cal is so pretty and so kind, i wish i had someone like him in my life. i loved writing this even if i can’t come up with titles to save my life. i haven’t ever tried writing for someone else’s oc, but i’m willing to try if given backstory and character descriptions. thank you for the request!!

meditation had never been more frustrating. no matter how hard you tried, you never felt yourself connect to the light side of the force. the pull towards the darkness was painful, and it was embarrassing talking to cere about it, the only one on the mantis crew who’d known about it in the first place. she’d sat you down and let you talk about your experiences as a jedi padawan, and how even then, you felt that urge to become everything the jedi told you was wrong. you knew it was wrong. 

cere told you the dark side was something every jedi faced, but you thought that was a lie after looking at the red-haired (now) jedi knight, cal kestis. he would sit across from you, face relaxed and eyes closed, looking awfully pretty for someone doing nothing except meditating, and connect so easily with the force. you were envious of that. you wanted to ask him questions. get help, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. cal was so kind, you knew he’d do as much as he could to help you, but you didn’t want to be a burden to him. after everything cal had done for the galaxy, he needed a break from helping people for once.

he’d spent so much time getting the holocron only to destroy it after his escape from darth vader, the sith lord of the empire, he felt as if it were necessary. the young force sensitive children would be hunted down by the empire, just like he was. just like you. 

cal sat on his knees across from you. his head was knelt and his eyes closed. he was meditating, and he looked beautiful while doing it. 

did you have feelings for him? some form, probably. cal was so kind to you, having only an open mind when you’d been taken aboard on the mantis crew when he’d found you on zeffo. cere and greez were welcoming as well, but cal was close to your age so you’d naturally gravitated towards him. it was like the force pulled you to him. it was like it was destiny to meet him. 

the red locks of his hair fell down across his forehead, his eyes still closed as if he were completely relaxed. he looked as if he had nothing on his mind at all. so calm, and at peace, unlike you whenever you meditated. you admired him for a moment. you were grateful to him.

you were far from defenseless on zeffo, but since the empire now had known about the tombs of eilram and miktrull, it was becoming increasingly more difficult hiding from them alone. cal had found you on his own journey to find the tombs, and you led him straight to them. you were capable, strong, and incredibly nice to him when he’d first met you. he felt the force in you. he was slowly but surely healing his connection to the force and with every new ability or trick he learned he felt his connection become stronger than before. he felt as if maybe you were going through the same situation. you looked to be around his age or a little younger. you must’ve experienced order 66 in a similar way he did. that was obvious enough, your master wasn’t there with you. 

taking your mind out of your thoughts, you turned back to cal and mimicked the way he was sitting, observing all of the tiny details he’d become accustomed to doing when he meditated. his hands were resting on his knees, and every now and then you’d hear him breathe deeply, then exhale loudly as if he were calming himself down. 

you closed your eyes and gripped desperately at your pants, whispering the mantra of “i am one with the force and the force is with me,” under your breath every few seconds. your face scrunches and you bite at your lips, “come on, y/n.” 

cal, at this point, had been out of his meditation for a few minutes. he’d been the one to offer to you to meditate together, with you being one of the only jedi left in the galaxy, it seemed harder to make a connection with the force even to him. he’d stared at you for a moment, his eyes trailing down your arms until he saw your hands, holding hopefully at your pants. your face was contorted in frustration and after a minute, you let out a groan. if he hadn’t been out of meditation before, he certainly would’ve been then. 

“i can’t.” you spoke after a moment. cal looked at you, lips pursed. 

he knew how it felt. it was obvious that you were struggling with the dark side, the way your body reacted during meditation said what words couldn’t. “that’s okay.” cal replied back to you, giving you a small encouraging smile. he stood up, reaching an arm across his chest, stretching. he moved to sit next to you, his shoulder touching yours. 

“i can help you.” he said, soft green eyes meeting yours. you felt a burden come off of your chest. having cal offer to help you was one thing, but asking him for help yourself was entirely off the table. “i’d like that.” he nods, moving back to his kneeling position he’d just been in before moving. 

“it’s a little obvious, you know.” cal told you after a minute of sitting in silence. had he figured out your feelings for him? you shook the thought out of your head, even you didn’t know how you felt about cal, why was that the first thing that came into your mind? “you’re been struggling.” he finished, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. “i understand how it feels to lose yourself. back on bracca.. i almost lost connection with the force entirely, until..” he paused, his eyes closing. “my connection with the force is still.. broken, even now.” 

“sometimes i don’t even know where to put my thoughts. should i think about master tapal?” you’d heard the name before. cal’s jedi master before the purge, the man who sacrificed his life for his padawan to live. every now and then, you’d thank him through the force for keeping cal safe the day order 66 happened, hoping he’d hear you. “i don’t really know, anymore. before cere, greez.. you. merrin. i’d felt hopeless when it came to controlling the force, learning to use my power for good.” he moved a bit closer to you again, you can feel his shoulder touching yours, and for a moment, you thought you could see his cheeks flush red. you think to yourself that it’s a little chilly, but then you remember you’re on bogano. you brushed it off, thinking it was just embarrassment from confessing these things to you. 

with every word cal said, you took to heart. you paid attention to everything that had ever come out of his lips, and especially now, this was important. you’d have to push your feelings for him aside. 

you turned your head to look at him. his eyes yearned with the willingness to teach you, the hope he’d held in that forest of green amazed you. it wasn’t the first time you’d seen his eyes shine like this, but it was definitely the first where that shine was directed at you. “i want to help you. i don’t want you feeling lost anymore.” with cal’s words, you felt as if you could break down then and there. you nodded to him, afraid that if you’d try to speak nothing would come out. 

“relax.” he’d started, “reach out to the force, and clear your mind. listen to everything around you.” 

the one thing you’d wanted to hear that was around you was the sound of his voice, but you ignored that and listened to his words anyways. the soft snoring of the binog in the distance, the chittering of the nesting boglings, and the sound of cal’s breathing from where he sat next to you. it was quiet, so it was a little too difficult to focus on sounds. “you’re doing good, okay?” he reassured you, offering a smile he knew you wouldn’t see with your eyes shut, “what do you see?” 

“us.” you told him, “right now.”

you focused even harder than before. it was an out of body, lucid dream type scenario. you could see yourself, sitting in the same position as you were now, and cal sitting next to you, looking proud of how well you were doing. “okay, anything else?” 

you lose your focus after hearing his voice, letting out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding in. “that’s okay, y/n. practice makes perfect.” 

you turned to look at him, and he took one of your hands in his. he’d already been facing you, sitting in his meditation position. his eyes closed. “trust me.” cal said to you, his other hand clasping around your hand that he’d already been holding. “okay?” you nodded before realizing he couldn’t see you, “okay.” 

it was the same you’d just seen before, the two of you sitting there. cal’s hands wrapped around your own, and his facial features completely relaxed as he sat there. you wished you could admire him for longer, but a series of images flashed throughout your mind and before you knew it, you were knocked out of the meditation you’d shared with cal. 

a new feeling. a feeling you’d never felt before. 

it was warm, and it took you by the heart. you felt safe, cal’s hands holding onto your own and your heart finally feeling happy. you felt completely relaxed for the first time in a long time. this must be it.

the light side of the force. 

“y/n.” cal’s voice spoke up, a wide smile across his lips. “i’m proud of you.” 

“thank you, for this feeling, cal. i don’t know how long it’ll last but.. i haven’t felt this happy in a long time..” you admitted to him, sitting your other hand on top of his. he laughed softly, bringing one of his hands out from underneath your own, holding onto the hand you’d just moved. “i know you have a long way to go, y/n, but i promise you, you’re never alone. i’m here with you, i always will be,” 

with that, you flung yourself into his arms so hard his back hit the grass behind him and he grunted slightly, worried you’d hurt him since his lightsaber injury from the battle with darth vader on nur, you’d moved off of him a bit until he’d pulled you onto his chest. you laid on top of him, your ear listening to the beating of his heart.

it was beating incredibly fast, but you didn’t blame him, you probably just shocked him. 

he tucked your head under his chin with a sigh, pressing a quick kiss to the crown of your head. you had your arms underneath him, gripping onto the fabric of his shirt. he’d not been wearing a poncho today, just a soft undershirt since he wasn’t going anywhere other than bogano. “i’m very proud of you, y/n.” cal told you, a smile on his face.

and for once, he didn’t care if you couldn’t see it.