#might fuck around w the values and colors some more w this

[jaxalope]

Juri, it'll be alright

It'll be alright Juri

[saewokhrisz]

have u ever talked anywhere about your coloring or composition processes? u are honestly one of my favorite artists and i would love to hear any insight on how you make pieces 💓

wahh thank you TTT !!! I did sorta give a very simplistic answer here but it was more of my simpler sketchy style so lemme redo that, ill try to be consise and make this understandable ?? its a bit hard cuz it honest to god depends on what Kind of piece im even drawing, cuz for some i go the whole length of doing lineart flats and all that, others i just just fuck around untill it looks right?

i do usually start with a rough sketch or colour draft, especially with more compley pieces this helps with figuring out the feel, honestly i should spend more time drafting properly, figuring out poses and such but im so lazy i just go w the first thing that looks good

then just lines over the colour draft, fixing lots of anatomy and proportion stuff, and depending on how i wanna do the colours ill either keep the colour layers or merge them together and have the edited colours as the base colour (this might not even make sense help)

see this piece at the time gave me an insane ammount of trouble with lighting and colours, so after trying to render i ended up merging everything together....which i dont USUALLY do but the rendering is pretty similar except usually i have colours be seperated by layer,

ANYWAYS sadly i dont have a process on how it got from flats to this specific render for this piece...but i still followed my initial drafts/plans with vibe and colours and just painted over it, its why i make it after all!

but honestly a lot of times its just very simple colours and just trying to mainting good contrast and values !!!! and THEN fucking around with colours and rextures, for other pieces i kinda just paint as i go? i have this timelapse of my justice piece that may be a bit more help!

it includes the initial colour draft, the cleanup/lining process, flats, rendering, and all that so its probs the most accurate timelapse of my morecomplex work processes, with stuff that doesnt include heavier backgrounds, which is a whole OTHER topic honestly

im sorry if i cant explain it more cohesively, i genuinely barely know what im doing most times and go by muscle memory and stuff i Know but cant. Explain? like i know how light and folds work since i observed and studied them but i cannot put it into words at all )--)0

my brushes also contribute a lot to how i render and colour, depending on what i use, you can find the swatches for them here !

[promiseiwillwrite]

Whatever comes Up ~ March

So here we are, three days in.

This is my only day off in a span of 12 days. I've been good, and doing my physical therapy exercises. All my muscles in my left hip and butt are mad at me. My Right hip is complaining, and my Low back as well. There has been a lot of "Spring Transition Weather" out here, and I think the barometer is probably sea sick at this point.

I have not seen the mouse again.

The Other people that live in my head have more or less stuck around... It's less crowded than it was before, like all of them have day jobs or something... Like they aren't there most of the time, but pop in to visit. It Really feels like self care.

I saw Theater Girl in her red dress again. There were discussions about changes. Discussions about maturity, and sexuality, and values. and where we sit with all that. Daemeon asked me to start playing D&D again. It just so happens that my friend is short some players...

I have done a bit of knitting here and there. Learning stitches still, and seeing the differences in the resulting fabric when you use all Garter stitches, or the sockinette stitch. Learning to tighten things up.

Tried crochet, but I think I used a yarn that was just too fuzzy to start off with. The hook kept grabbing the individual threads of the wrong twist. I tried it out when I was too tired, as well, which could have contributed to the issues. I will re-attempt with a tighter string, and see if I can get the process down a little more concretely before making another attempt with the fuzzy yarn.

I would Really like to make myself a witch hat... But It looks like the pattern for the one I fancy is definitely a crochet pattern.

On the first, I reached out to the inner and outer wilds at the end of my day, and opened the entreaty to whatever might come up.

And I think the creature that came has been waiting for their turn since my cat died.

There is a Mushroom that lives in my back yard that Bloomed with caps in the middle of January. The mushrooms were a dark brown. about two inches tall, and an inch and a half across, with a wrinkly cap. I THINK they are Helvella lacunosa, a type of Elfin Saddle. But I am having a hard time getting a good ID because the fruiting bodies have all vanished. Nothing in the pictures I am seeing looks right. Helvellas are a little too convoluted. Based on some of the pictures in a book I have, they look a little more like Psilocybe stuntzii, but I don't think these pictures are dark enough for what was growing out of the lawn, the color of wet coffee grounds.

At any rate, the entire yard at the bottom of the steps around the porch kind of gets watered when I water all my plants.

That whole area was just covered with mushrooms. I must conclude that the body of the mushroom exists in a huge swathe around the porch, in the grass and soil that has been seeing some incidental love for several many years.

And on the first, I was visited by a Mushroom Fairy.

The mushroom fairy looks like they are covered with black hairs, except for the exposed skin of their face, hands and midriff, which are blue.

I won't lie. I am afraid of the Folk. Okay, Afraid is maybe a strong word. I feel very anxious, cautious, self-conscious, and vulnerable around them. Maybe Afraid is the correct word after all. I have felt like I have had to be very careful of my words. I think this one actually does want to be friends, though, and I don't want to piss them off.

So far, they seem nice. I feel like they really do want to be friends, and don't really have another agenda.

They DID say something that kind of stuck in my craw, however. They said I was one of them, and expressed sorrow that I was so buttoned up. And they meant a fairy. And I am definitely a Human. But my mom always told me that she made a deal with fairies to get me. But my mom says a lot of fucked up shit because that's her way of being edgy.

I have definitely not asserted a priority for enjoying what I like in my life in many areas, because enjoying what I like seems to hurt people, and I've found that I don't like hurting people. I've had to find ways of enjoying myself quietly, and safely, away from others, that don't upset anyone.

But I still look across the fences of my boundaries and daydream. I'm just wise enough in my old age to realize that not having a thing that I want doesn't have to mean I am unhappy with my life. Especially when I would have to put in Huge Effort to get what I think I would want.

There is part of me that thinks this MAY be a large gymnastic routine that I have to do to avoid the laser grid of admitting that I have unmet desires.

The other part of me is fairly certain that this is better than setting fire to my life and the lives of those around me, which could be an immediate result of fucking around and finding out in this area.

More later.

[13uswntimagines]

Our Song (Alyssa Naeher x Reader)

Request: alyssa naehex reader thats set during quarantine w/ “Shy” by Alexander Stewart. I just kind of think it’s cute since she’s an introvert and that it would be fitting

Author��s Note: Speical Thanks To @literaryhedgehog​

Alyssa knew she should just say it, that admitting it out loud would finally put an end to this madness. She ran a soothing hand through your hair when you sniffled loudly into her chest. 

God, she should just tell you how she felt. But, she also didn’t want to overstep. That would make being roommates really awkward. Especially since neither of you were supposed to leave the apartment right now except for essential purchases. And she didn’t want to lose her best friend. That would really suck. 

But she wasn’t afraid to say what no one else would- you had a terrible taste when it came to partners. You chose people who didn’t value you, and you always ended up hurt. 

This time was no different, well, it was slightly different considering you couldn’t leave your shared apartment to cope like you normally would. Alyssa didn’t know if that was better or worse, considering that you had adapted your breakup routine to just be endless cuddles with her and your favorite stuffed animal.  

She had already spent the last hour making comforting noises. You had stopped shedding tears 15 minutes ago, so Alyssa decided it was time to go for some humor. “Hey, so now you and Taylor Swift have something in common!”

“Hmm” You hummed in acknowledgment, your eyes never leaving where Supergirl was playing on screen. 

“Well, she was broken up with over text. You were broken up with over text. I think this is the perfect opportunity to listen to her re-recording of Fearless, and really channel those emotions!”

“No, Joe broke up with her in a 27-second phone call,” You lifted your head up off of her very comfortable chest to raise your eyebrow at the woman. 

Alyssa was a great keeper, and amazing at crosswords, but she always needed your help when it came to Taylor trivia. 

“Then Joe showed more consideration as an 18-year-old child than your 32 year old wanna be soccer star. It doesn’t change the fact that I think listening to Mr Perfectly Fine would be cathartic.” 

“It’s kinda funny that she wrote Forever and Always, Mr. Perfectly fine, Better than Revenge and Holy Ground all about the same guy, they’re all so different from each other,” You mumbled, settling back down on her chest. At least she didn’t say that you had as many breakups as she did. That was a rude joke. (One Alyssa wouldn’t dare make. She was more cultured than the media asshats that chased your team around). 

“Woman’s efficient,” Alyssa shrugged. “No reason why you can't recycle the same emotion into a different song genre.” 

“At least she could make millions off her pain. All I seem to be able to do is kick the ball harder,” You grumbled. Your landlord complained about you practicing in the street because of how hard you sent the ball careening into his precious brick wall. It wasn’t your fault Alyssa was too slow to stop the PK. 

“Darling, considering you’re one of the strongest kickers on the east coast, I’d say that pain is going to a worthwhile cause. But you do kind of have the worst taste in relationships.” 

“Hey! Savannah wasn’t a bad choice, just bad timing,” You huffed indignantly. 

“So that would be one out of…. How many bad relationships?” 

“At least one for every Taylor Swift album,” 

“Okay, here’s a fun idea, choose an ex for each album,” Alyssa said brightly. Thinking about music would definitely cheer you up. “Wannabe soccer star is obviously your Joe, so represents the Fearless album. Which relationship is your… Drew?”

“You already know the answer to that question,” you said, already picking up your phone to add Teardrops on my Guitar to the music queue. You then quickly added Forever and Always and started scrolling through Speak Now for the next song inspiration. 

Alyssa nodded. It was a well-known fact that you had a massive crush on one Hope Solo growing up, and you had been absolutely enamored with her the second you set foot into camp. But Alyssa also knew that Hope was very faithful to a certain veteran. 

The veteran keeper had tried to let you down easy, and Kelley was still one of your best friends, but it had hurt in the moment.

“Kristie was my Haunted,” you said, smiling slightly. Dating her felt like a whirlwind, one that took your breath until you never thought it would end. She made butterflies flutter in your stomach, and you were so desperate to say the right thing, to be the perfect partner, that you always felt like you were walking a tightrope. Floating on air, but desperate to keep your balance. “At least she had the decency to wait until we were in the same city to end it.” 

“Aren’t the two of you friends now?” Alyssa looked down at you, watching as you scrolled through songs from your comfortable place on her chest. 

You nodded with a small smile. “Hmm, we are much better off that way anyway.” 

“I bet you I can guess who your We are Never Ever Getting Back Together person is,” Alyssa trilled, reaching down to take the phone. 

You playfully snatched it away from her. “Who’s to say I wasn’t going to choose I knew you were trouble?” You raised your eyebrow at the woman, who simply smirked in response. 

“I can tell you who that is too if you like,” Alyssa reached for her own phone and took over control of the speakers, adding both songs to the music queue. 

“Alright, I’ll bite. Who?” 

“You definitely knew Sam Kerr was trouble, and I think it took you 4 breakups with Leah to finally call it quits,” 

“I was going to say Leah for 1989, it took me forever to realize how fucked up our relationship was after we finally broke up,” 

“I’m sure the distance didn’t help.” With her in London and you in Chicago things just kind of fell apart. 

“Maybe,” you hummed, noncommittally. 

“Okay, so for Reputation. I’m thinking Don’t Blame Me,” 

“You did go a bit crazy for Jane…” Alyssa said with a roll of her eyes. You had almost moved to Houston for that girl, thank god you didn’t. You sunburned like nobody's business. 

“Oh come on. You just didn’t like the idea of me moving. And considering how long we had been dating at that point it did make sense!” You argued. 

“It was 3 months Y/n,” She deadpanned. 

“I was in a wlw relationship. That’s like practically three years, it’s not like I brought a u-haul to our first date.” 

Alyssa quirked an eyebrow up at you. “Didn’t you have one of those the first time we met?” 

“Yeah, because I wasn’t moving into my college apartment without any furniture!”

“Whatever you say, babe. Who's your Folklore?” She rolled her eyes goodnaturedly. 

“I think you skipped an album,” you said. This was weird because Lover was one of Alyssa’s favorite albums. “But, since you asked. I think Kelley is The 1.” 

“Ah, our favorite squirrel,” Alyssa’s lips ticked up. You and Kelley had dated in college (something that should have made her jealous), but Kelley was the one pushing her to admit her feelings now. 

“We were just too young and dumb,” you said, smiling. “We had a great time together, and it would have been fun if it worked out. But at some point we just realized, we were friends, but there wasn’t anything romantic there.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” Alyssa said, like a liar. 

“I’m not. Her and Emily are like made for each other,” You snorted with the shake of your head. “And at least she wasn’t afraid of the world knowing we were together,” 

“Well, yeah,” Alyssa smiled. She had loved seeing the way being publicly out with Kelley had brought out the best of you. “ Okay moving on! Next, we need to narrow down your No body, No Crime.” 

“I take offense. Alex is still alive, so that doesn’t count,” You huffed. 

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding. I know you didn’t kill any of your significant others,” Alyssa said, laughing. “Though if you listened to the song you would know that’s my job… ”

“Alex was my Champagne Problems,” You mumbled sadly. That relationship had been the hardest for you, as had the breakup. She was terrified of the world even suspecting she wasn’t straight. 

You had everything, except the freedom to be yourself, and In the end, you couldn’t take the hiding anymore. 

“You did your best, love. But people come out at their own pace. And it was before Obergfell v. Hodges was decided. Being queer was still more likely to be presented as a scandal in the media then.”

“She cheated on me with Serv. She doesn’t get a pass,” You grumbled, crossing your arms. 

“I’m pretty sure you were on a break dear,” Alyssa said, though she was inclined to agree with you. Being on a ‘break’ but not officially breaking up didn’t seem like a reason to start dating other people. Still getting over some of the semantics might theoretically help you move on. “BUT maybe we should move on. Who is your Lover?”

Your eyes squinted thoughtfully, a light pink shading your cheeks. “The only person who hasn’t ever left me is you. You let me leave the Christmas lights up until May and dance around the kitchen when you cook.” 

Alyssa looked away, not able to meet your eyes. ”I mean, the lights can change color, so they can be thematic all year. And you’re the one who chooses the music to listen to while I cook. I can’t help it if they’re all great for dancing.”

“You can dance to anything. I’m pretty sure you turned a Hosier song into a salsa dance last week.” You giggled. 

“The only person I dance with is you, Y/n,” Alyssa said, finally meeting your eyes. She could feel her body start shaking slightly, as the adrenaline kicked in. She was going to do it. She was going to tell you. “I don’t want to dance if I’m not dancing with you.” 

“I’d dance with you in a storm in my best dress,” 

“I have tried so hard to be supportive about your last several relationships. But seeing you dancing to your favorite song with anyone else… I’ve loved you for three years now and I couldn’t bear it.” 

The air was suddenly charged between you, and you realized your faces were just inches apart. It was hard to breathe. You never dreamed your best friend would return your feelings (maybe that’s why you had so many bad relationships). 

“Kiss me,” you breathed, slowly moving around so your heads were at the same level. 

“That’s not a Taylor swift Lyric,” Alyssa said. In her brain, there was a loading sign currently whirring in little circles, as she attempted to process what you just said. Did you mean what she thought you said?

“Baby just say yes,” You said, feeling so happy that tears were coming to your eyes. You leaned forward getting inches from her face, so close you could feel her breath hitch. “Please kiss me.”

“Yes,” was all Alyssa had time to say before she closed the distance and kissed you. 

[whorefordazai]

hii how are you? i hope you're good<3 uhm, I don't know how to use tumblr yet,, but if you're doing request,, can i ask for sfw and nsfw headcanons for sigma? i literally can't found anything of him😭

I kinda made this abnormally long unlike my other headcannons I’m sorry haha😅 but I had a lot of fun writing it !

sigma headcannons (sfw & nsfw)

ft. sigma x gn! reader

genre: fluff, nsfw

warnings: mentions/depictions of sex

SFW

Before dating:

- before you start dating, you won’t catch much of an eye to sigma. After all, you’re just another casino worker. He still respects you and definitely values your hard work (just as any casino worker) because he knows how much work you all put into the casino.

- the both of you are just work buddies at first. That’s all. Tbh if sigma started liking you, he wouldn’t even be able to identify it as a crush LMAO

- like “oh they’re actually really pretty...” and “we would make a good partnership...” and “I really admire their skills to persevere through anything...”

- really sigma? Is that all😏?

- and then he’d begin to notice the things he’s saying in his head like “oh...they really are so beautiful...” and then realization hits and he’s like “WAIT! THEY ARE JUST A COLLEAGUE!!”

- little did he know, he said that out loud while furiously waving his arms in the air. Fyodor saw, kept quiet like this 🧍‍♂️🤐, then later gossiped about it to Nikolai.

- he’d dismiss the idea at first, ignoring his own feelings because obviously he doesn’t think he’s worthy enough for you. But it’s so hard to keep away from you. Mostly because you’re his mf partner😄👩‍🦯

- unable to keep away from you, sigma knows he wants you now. He can’t deny the fact that you’re incredibly attractive. Both inside and outside. You work just as hard as him, you’re always so determined and ready for action. Sigma envied you to be able to keep a cool head throughout frustration.

- he really wanted to make the first move. Nothing too forward. He just felt anger rising in him every time he saw an old man hit on you and try to flirt. You, of course, could only laugh with a nervous nod because they were customers.

- unable to take anymore, sigma confronts you.

“Y/n...you know you can tell those old men to stop bothering you...right?”

Your smile faltered for a second, but you quickly masked it up. “But sigma...we can’t lose customers. You work so hard to maintain this casino...it would all go to waste if the customers stopped coming.”

Sigma’s heart broke at your pained smiled. He gently grabbed your hands and made you look in his eyes. “I don’t need some old perverts as customers. You matter more to me than anyone.”

HUH?! Did I just say that😃?!

Panic immediately set in sigma’s head. Of course he wasn’t lying, you did matter to him more than anything. But it was really strange hearing it come out of his own mouth. Nothing had ever been more important to sigma than the casino. This is scary...

“Really?” Your eyes lit up. You clasped sigma’s hands tighter, resting your head on his chest. He immediately froze, unable to do anything else.

They’re hugging me? What am I supposed to do? This feels so different...am I supposed to hug back? This feels better than the hugs Nikolai forces on me...😟

After a moment of stunned silence 🤩🧍‍♂️, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a hug. This is the first time he’s hugging someone who isn’t Nikolai😧...it feels so nice.

During a relationship:

- sigma would really have to trust you to be in a relationship with you. I mean, this is the first time he’s ever had these type of feelings for anyone.

- he’s a bit shy when it comes to showing affection. The first time he attempted to hold your hand, he almost fainted because his heart was beating really fast 🕺

- holding hands is something y’all both do. It’s like a symbol of safety and reassurance when one of (or both of you) are feeling anxious. He was a real sly mf when holding your hand for the first time😏👆

The loud music blared across the rooms. You and sigma were currently trying to make your way through the floors and between huge crowds. The casino was abnormally packed with people today, it was slightly unexpected.

You could barely see anything among the crowds, only sigma’s mismatched color hair popped out among others. “Sigma...w-wait...” you managed to mutter out. You were getting caught in people’s arms and it was becoming more unbearable to walk.

Sigma didn’t turn around at your voice, so you knew he couldn’t hear you. The music was way too loud.

Just as the both of you were turning a corner, a tall figure bumped into your body, making you fall over on your arm.

“Fuck!” You winced in pain, realizing that your arm was probably broken.

“Y/n! Are you okay?!” You heard sigma’s voice call out to you. His face was morphed into shock and worry, seeing you on the floor. You raised your eyebrows. He came back for me?

He held out a hand to you, wanting to help you get up from the floor. You gladly took in, using your feet to help balance yourself.

Once you were up, you noticed that sigma had not let go of your hand. You looked up at him in confusion.

“Uhm...we should probably hold hands. Just to make sure we don’t lose each other...o-only if you want to though!” Sigma averted his eyes from yours. His voice was almost a whisper, you could barely hear it among the loud casino music.

A smile appeared on your lips. You look down at your hands clasped together, and intertwined your fingers. “Yeah. To make sure we’re safe...”

The both of you held hands the whole night.

Sneaky little sigma 😏📸

- give him sudden kisses. On his lips, cheek, or even forehead. He’ll probably stay stunned for a few seconds, unable to process what just happened.

- and then he’d go pink 😝

- I mean, he isn’t usually shy in front of others because he runs a fucking casino? There isn’t any time to be shy! But when you randomly kiss him, you’ll see his cheeks go red and his eyes glint.

- he’ll be a little flustered, so he’ll go to the back break room and take a moment to breathe and have a drink.

- the both of you have matching necklaces. The necklace has an Amethyst stone on it. It’s said to relieve anxiety and stress, and the both of you go through that every day. But really, it was just an excuse to wear matching jewelry 😊

- might I add, sigma wears a lot of jewelry! Especially to match his hair and outfits. He’ll mostly wear rings on his fingers, or sometimes you’ll sneak hair clips in his hair😏

- when he’s having a rough day, he’ll just crawl into your lap and lay his head on your thighs. You’d immediately get the message and start to slowly run your fingers through his hair.

- his arms would wrap around your waist and somehow your limbs would be tangled together under the blankets. He’d softly mumble into your chest, “I’m so lucky to have you. What did I do to deserve this?”

- having identity crises? Yes. Before he met you, sigma didn’t think he had a purpose in life. The casino was the only thing keeping him living on. Knowing all those people were depending on him kept him going. But he felt so empty.

- after a long hard days of work, he would come into his room and feel an immense emotion of loneliness. But now that you were here, he truly felt like he had someone by his side.

NSFW

- the first time y’all had sex, he was definitely shy at first. Was a little hesitant in touching you because making you uncomfortable was the last thing he wanted to do. Would always ask before placing his hands anywhere intimate. “C-can I touch you here?”

- he would be extremely gentle (and an unintentional tease) the first time. He would go really slow, his thrusts would send you oblivion. I mean, your walls are clenching around him, practically begging him to go faster.

- pls, he just doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you😞

“You feel so good...” sigma mumbled into your neck. Your eyes prick with tears from the feeling of him inside you.

“Mhm...go faster!” You mutter out, hands entangling behind his neck. His eyes flick to yours. “A-are you sure?”

“For fucks sake, yes!”

“...okay🤩!”

- after your first approval to go faster, he doesn’t hold back one bit. Within seconds, your legs are over his shoulders, his arms hooked around your thighs.

- he’s a soft dom, but kinda likes teasing you (not to the point where you don’t orgasm) but making you softly beg for his dick 😙

- sigma doesn’t always show it, but he loves it when you subtly drop hints that you want him to fuck you. The way you seem to dance with every step and your hands become fidgety just to touch him.

- expect lots of hickeys. Not the dark purple ones, just pink or red ones. He loves marking you up and watching you struggle to cover them up in the morning (don’t worry, he’ll help you cover them all while apologizing)

“Sigma, these hickeys are uncover-able 😶”

“Really? I do apologize, dear 😙”

(He’s not really sorry, if anything, he’s proud of his hard work)

- pent up stress relief sex. That’s it. That’s the headcannon. Even though this man might seem calm and collected on the outside, he’s definitely not on the inside.

- after running a casino the whole day, all he wants to do is relieve himself of his pent up stress...in you😙

- like I said, he’ll be a soft dom but when you want to ride him, his extra dom side will suddenly jump out. While you’re basically panting on his lap, he’ll grab your chin and say “you look so pretty sitting on my dick. Why don’t you look me in the eyes?”

- your legs won’t be working for the next few days shawty 🙅‍♀️

[ddaenggtan]

say you want passion (i think you found it) | M

you’re a tease. he’s tired of it.

pairing | shownu x fem!reader

wc | 6.5k

genre/warning | Covid doesnt exist sorry, big dick shownu, sweetheart shownu, dom shownu, sub reader, shownu is called hyunwoo in this, he also likes to be called daddy dont judge, sloppy blowjobs, but still, blowjobs, Shownu eats pussy like a CHAMP, Strength Kink, praise, degradation, degrading praise, this is HIGHLY specialized, you've been warned, deepthroating, DEEP deepthroating at that, nsfw pictures, aka shownu likes to remember it when he does a good job so he takes a picture bc it lasts longer uwu, talking with your mouth full (ill let u guess), doggystyle, teasing, brief nipple play, hickeys, begging, dumbification, rough sex, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, coming inside, gspot shenanigans, this is genuinely so unrealistic please do not think sex is like this ever in real life, i mean literally ever if you ever fuck someone and it's like this then they aren't real they're a fae or a god or some shit okay, aftercare, shownu uses 3-in-1 because He Does, Barely Edited by the grace of @personawife​‘s beta that she fit in when she could ilu, 

a/n | first n last shownu smut specifically bc its leilas birthday (@honiboyyoon​). u better enjoy this. (side note for anyone who isn’t into shownu smut, but is curious: there’s a namjoon version on ao3 that i’ll link here), but this took entirely too much effort and i did my damndest to fit as many things that ur into in this one fic as i possibly could. i hope this makes up for u probably never getting the vampire maknae line foursome i kept promising you sdfkldjsfasdf

The front door opens as you step out of the car, and you grin as your boyfriend appears in the frame. He grins at you and your best friend and you search his expression for a sign of anything other than his usual sweetness, but find none. You resist the urge to pout - you won’t give him the satisfaction. 

“Good luck!” Your best friend teases. You roll your eyes at her - she knows precisely what you envisioned upon arriving back to the quaint little house you call home with Hyunwoo. It’s the reason you wore this outfit, and tried on the clothes you did whilst shopping, and sent him selfies in the poses you did. 

You’re on a mission, dammit. It’s been weeks - literal weeks, not even an exaggeration - since you were properly fucked, and you’re fairly tired of prancing around the house in your shortest shorts and deepest v-necks so that when you bend over just right to water your fern, he gets the perfect eyeful. It’s exhausting to try to send all these signals all day every day - but you know how flustered he gets when you ask him directly, so you tried a different tactic. You were being nice!

And it hasn’t worked. At all. He’s offered to help you water your plants, to let you borrow his flannel pajamas in case you’re cold, and even to buy you a sweater, at one point. 

In August. 

So suffice to say, you’re getting a little tired of him being oblivious. So you’d called up your best friend and invited her to go shopping with you, and yes, it was also very fun to hang out with her and get boba, but she’s also the master of hyping you up and making you feel sexy and desirable, so it was truly a win-win.

Plus, she color-coordinated her own houndstooth pantsuit with your pink houndstooth skirt/blazer combo, so really, you should send her a fruit basket or something. Maybe cookies. 

The point remains that your boyfriend hasn’t responded to any of your borderline pornographic selfies or the very pointed videos of you holding various sex toys and asking if it would fit. You’re at your wit’s end, and you were really hoping that it would truly get through to him this time that you want nothing more than to be railed against the mattress so hard that you cry. 

You’re a simple girl, after all. 

But no! He’s got that sweet smile on his face as you carry your shopping bags in one hand and your purse in the other, carefully sidestepping the cosmos he’d just planted the other day so you wouldn’t step all over his hard work. His smile widens when you reach the door, and he presses a sweet, gentle kiss against your forehead that has you on the verge of tears. 

He waves again to your best friend as she drives off, and as usual snags your shopping bags out of your hand so he can place them beside the door. You’ve already pulled your blazer off to hang in the entryway closet by the time he’s shut the door, and you gasp as you’re jerked back. His hands are on either side of your head, braced against the front door like it’s the only thing keeping him up, and you struggle to focus on anything that isn’t the way his muscles flex.

“Do you have any idea what today was like for me?” He growls. The sound of it brings heat between your thighs, and you resist the urge to cheer. 

“Sorry, should I not have sent you any selfies today?” You ask, keeping your voice as light and innocent as you can. He makes eye contact with you; there’s a fire in his eyes you haven’t seen in what feels like forever. “Did you not like them?”

“You know damn well what I thought of them,” he mutters, one hand coming down to rest on your hip. “I’ve tried so hard lately, y’know? The tiny shorts with your ass hanging out, the shirts that show everything when you bend over. God, the bending.”

“Really?” You breathe. It’s always exhilarating to know that you’re desired, but this is nearly heady. He fixes his gaze on you, eyes burning, and your smile softens slightly. 

“I was trying,” he says, clearly holding himself back, “To be a good boyfriend. To make sure that you know that I want more from you than just sex, and that I value you as more than just someone attractive. I was trying so hard to prove that you– that we have more between us than that. That I respect you more than that.”

“So don’t respect me.” You say it like it’s obvious, because it is. You’ve been laying down signals galore the past few weeks, and clearly he did not get the memo. 

“I’m always going to respect you,” he says instead, sighing slightly as he leans in to press his forehead against yours. “I don’t want to disrespect you, you’re worth more than that. But fuck, all I wanna do is fuck you stupid right now.”

“Please,” you whisper, biting your lip. It’s all you’ve wanted for weeks and now you might finally - finally - get it. “Disrespect me, daddy.”

The hand on your hip tightens, no doubt bruising the skin, and you gasp at the feeling. Hyunwoo makes eye contact - just long enough to make sure that you’re on board for whatever it is he’s about to do. 

He could probably suggest a number of things that you’ve never considered and you’d say yes, at this point - you’re not ashamed to admit that you’re desperate. 

The hand on your hips lowers - he traces all the way down your thigh and to the back of your knee before travelling back up, this time under your skirt. He kisses you as he does it - long, heated kisses that make your head spin so perfectly that you don’t know what he’s doing until he glides a finger across your clothed core. 

You gasp into the kiss, but it doesn’t deter him. He pulls down, kissing and biting down your jaw to your neck as his fingers trace over you once more. You can feel him smile against your skin. 

“You’re already soaked,” he tuts. “You’ve ruined this pair, princess. How naughty of you. Would you like daddy to take them off?”

“Yes!” You moan as his fingers ghost over your folds once more. 

“Yes what?” He asks, and you could cry with how much you want him. 

“Yes, daddy,” you tell him, and he smiles once more. It’s blinding, how bright he is when he smiles like that, and for a second you’re breathless. Then you feel them - his hands, burning a trail along your thigh to tug at the band of your underwear. It only takes him a few seconds to pull them down as he bends, and he kisses your thigh as he brings one of your legs up so he can slide them off completely. 

He was right - they are ruined, the evidence of your arousal immediately apparent by the large wet spot in the center. He doesn’t bother to slide them off your other leg, though - just lets them hang from your ankle, no doubt as a reminder of how strongly he affects you.

He presses kisses to every bit of skin he can as he stands fully upright once more, suckling a mark into your collarbone that you’ll absolutely cherish when you have to cover it up before work tomorrow. 

His hands don’t leave your thighs - warm and strong and utterly distracting, you can’t take your mind off them as he kisses you again, heady and intoxicating. You feel it as one hand travels back underneath your skirt again, gliding between your thighs. 

A moan sticks in your throat as his fingers slide in between your folds - the feeling of them teasing against your hole before they move to rub light circles into your clit is nearly too much to handle. 

“Hyunwoo, please–”

“Patience,” he interrupts. You can hear the smile in his voice as he slides over your hole once more, spreading your arousal across your lips before teasing your clit again. “Good girls have patience, right, princess?”

You whimper, hips arching off the door to try to guide his finger inside of you. It’s a futile attempt - he just returns to the slow, infuriating circles on your clit, and you would cry if it didn’t feel as good as it does. 

It could be hours or it could be seconds that he continues this pattern - slow, maddening circles on your clit, then the slightest bit of a tease at your hole, just enough to make you think that maybe he’ll fuck you with his fingers, before he returns to the circles. It’s enough to make a stronger woman cry, and you can’t help the whines that you let out when he once again deprives you of the fuck you so desperately want. 

“Please just fuck me,” you finally break, hands moving from where they’re wrapped around his neck to circle his waist and do your best to pull him in closer. You can feel him against your thigh, warm and thick and big, and you want him. 

He hisses when you grind against him, and the one hand that remains on your hip tightens ever so slightly. “You’re being very bad, princess,” he chastises, but you couldn’t care less. Your mind is focused on the memory of what he felt like inside you, and you’re ready to burst with need.

“I don’t care,” you tell him firmly, hands sliding up under his shirt to run your nails against his muscled torso. “I don’t care, I need you, please, I just want–”

“I know,” he cuts you off. His hands disappear from you entirely, but only for a moment - before you know it, two large hands wrap around your wrists, guiding yours out of his shirt. You can't stop whimpering, caught between the memory of the last time he was between your thighs and the reality of his lips against your skin.

Hyunwoo drops - he hits the wooden floor with a muffled thud, and before you can even react, his hands are underneath your skirt. He pushes it upwards, muttering something almost reverent about thighs as he does, and then he’s pressing soft kisses to the inside of your thighs. His hands don’t stop, though - they keep going, shoving your skirt up until it pools around your waist.

“H-Hyunwoo—”

“Ssh,” he whispers, giving your thigh a light bite. A heartbeat later and you can feel his warm breath against your folds. “You wanted to feel good, right?”

“Yes, please,” you breathe, hands instinctively tangling in his soft brown hair. 

“Then be a good slut for me, and stay still while I make you feel good." 

You stifle a whimper - he knows what his words do to you, and you jolt as his tongue gently nudges against your folds. There's no stopping the soft sigh that falls from your lips as he delves deeper, ghosting across your swollen clit to nudge against your hole. He's tentative, teasing with his movements - he likes to make you wait, tease you until you're grinding against his mouth.

You doubt this will be an exception.

A moan is thrust out of you as you feel your hole stretch slightly. Not much, not far - just enough to accommodate him as he fucks your hole with his tongue. It's just the right side of unsatisfying - you're aching, absolutely dripping for him, and this is just enough to whet your appetite and make you hungry for more.

You can feel his smile against you, and you already know what's coming - still, it's disappointing when he pulls his tongue out. You whine, unashamed of how you must sound or how loud you may be, and he chuckles.

"Patience, baby girl," he breathes. Warm air flows over you, and your hands move to tangle in his hair. His tongue shifts again, lapping at your clit for long enough that you think you may cum before he stops to draw mind-numbing circles around it instead.

Time bends around the two of you - it always does when he's between your thighs like this, when he's teasing and deliberate with every swipe of his tongue against you, every press of him against your hole. He edges you for so long; slow circles around your clit turn to quick thrusts inside of you that shift into laps against your hole that drag upward, just barely catching your clit before they stop.

You're sure there would be a puddle on the floor were it not for his dedication. The entire house is filled with the sounds of his mouth against you, only drowned out by the sound of your cries as he begins to suck on your clit.

Your knees quake on either side of his head, and he doesn't hesitate to bring his hands up behind your thighs. Without a second thought, he lifts - not even pausing in his mission, tongue still thrusting into you at an almost absurd rate - and then your thighs are resting atop his shoulders. You gasp, both in shock and in pleasure as he lets his teeth graze ever so lightly against that bundle of nerves.

This isn't the first time he's done this - put you on his shoulders and left you there while he eats you out within an inch of your life - but it's the first time in a long time, and it has you seeing stars as one of your hands stays tangled in his hair and the other is braced against the wall beside you.

"Hyunwoo, please–" You beg, but you can't catch your breath long enough between moans to say anything more. He sucks again, the flat of his tongue gliding over your clit as it's pulled into his mouth once more, and your vision goes white. Your knees quake, and you're sure that if you had been standing, you wouldn't be anymore.

"That's my girl," Hyunwoo praises after he's done cleaning up your cum. When you can see again, you realize he's set you down on the floor and is slowly massaging your thighs.

"Hyun, I....please....can you–"

"You want me to fuck you stupid, baby?" He asks. His tone is a little patronizing, but that's okay, because it only serves to turn you on more. "Does my sweet little whore need my cock in her?"

"Yes, please," you whimper, hips tilting upwards against nothing of their own accord.

Hyunwoo stands and hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his grey sweats. A few moments later he's pulled them down just enough to free himself. Your mouth drops open slightly when you finally lay eyes on him - you know he's big. You know that he is big, you've had his entire length inside of you several times now and you've felt it for days after each time, but it still never fails to shock you.

Because he is big. Thick, so thick you can hardly wrap your entire fist around him, and long, with the perfect curve that hits that spot inside of you that makes your toes curl. His dick is nearly as perfect as he is, and that is a very high bar.

It's also so hard that you can see it throbbing, jumping every so often as his muscles tense.

"You want me to make you come with my cock, right, baby?" He asks, once again using that patronizing tone that makes heat creep across your cheeks.

You nod.

"Then you're going to have to ask nicely, aren't you?" He prods.

"Please, daddy," you say without hesitation, "Please fuck me, I want you to make me cum so hard that I cry, I want to be a good slut for you."

"Very good, baby," he praises. "Now I want you to prove that you mean it. Can you be a good little whore and suck my cock?"

You lean forward, not even bothering to use your hands because your bones still feel like jelly. You run your tongue across the tip of him, giving small kitten licks to the slit just how he likes. A groan rumbles through him, and he lets out a soft gasp as you slip your tongue down to wet the shaft as well. 

"Fuck, princess," he moans, "I think you've gotten even better at this."

Encouraged, you let your mouth hang open– just barely wide enough to get your lips around the shaft– and let your tongue rest on your spit-slick lips. You glance up long enough to see that Hyunwoo's eyes are blown wide with his desire before you mouth sloppily down his dick. It's messy and would probably be disgusting if it were anyone but the two of you and Hyunwoo didn't have that look in his eyes that promises you'll remember tonight for several weeks. 

His hands move, one adjusting his grip on the doorframe as you suck the head of his cock between your lips while the other comes down to grip one of the two buns you put your hair in that morning. He tugs - not hard, not yet, but firmly enough that it stings slightly and makes you keen.

"If you're going to make a mess, don't you think you should clean it up?" He asks. You lift a brow and he grins. "Clearly you're not that tired if you still have an attitude."

"No," you whine, "I am tired, my bones are basically nonexistent right now thanks to you."

The hand in your hair loosens slightly, and Hyunwoo tuts. "I have to do all the work, huh? Then get on your knees for me, baby girl, so I can use you like a good toy." 

You rush to comply, and only wince a bit at the feeling of the cold floor against your knees. His hand stays where it is the entire time you're moving, but he waits until you're sitting still, legs folded under you and giving you that extra bit of height you'll need. 

"Let me know if it's too much," Hyunwoo commands, and you nod. His eyes darken, slightly, and he runs his thumb along your jaw. "What's the signal?"

"Two taps on your thigh," You tell him, not for the first time. He's always so careful beforehand, and while you appreciate just how much he cares about you, you also are sick of just staring at his cock, and your mouth is beginning to water. 

Hyunwoo coos slightly, and the hand in your hair shifts to guide rather than just anchor. "You're always so good for me," he mutters as he slides the tip past your lips. "Always such a good little slut." 

You don't stop the whimper that escapes your throat – he loves them, and you know it. Your mouth is lax, nothing more than a hole for him to fill as he sees fit, and there's the slightest twinge of complaint as your jaw begins to stretch. 

You ignore it, determined to get as much of him as possible this time. You've practiced for this, nearly every day, since the last time and you're not stopping until you beat your record. 

Hyunwoo sighs as he hits the back of your throat. "God, you're perfect," he mutters as he begins to slide back out. You let your jaw relax a bit as he does, and when just the tip rests on your tongue, you give it a small kiss, just because you can. 

Hyunwoo smiles, gaze softening for a split second. "Hands in position, baby girl," he reminds you, and you do as he says – one hand on back of each of his thighs, so you can tap out if you need to. 

Also so you can feel those incredible muscles flex as he starts shallow thrusts, rippling and tensing under your fingers. If your mouth weren't otherwise occupied, you'd bite them. 

Hyunwoo continues carefully, testing just how much of himself can fit before you start to gag on his length….and just how long you can choke before you really start to need air. 

He pulls back before you even need to tap out, always careful to keep an eye on you for any warning signs. He slides back in and waits until he hits the back of your throat again, pushing slightly further, and just as he's about to begin pulling back out, you look up at him with wide eyes.

You know you look like a mess; drool gathering on your lips because your mouth is too full to hold it, tears streaming down your cheeks from your attempts to stop gagging. Hyunwoo loves it when you look ruined like this, adores taking your perfectly crafted image and crumbling it to pieces in his hands. 

So it's no surprise when he lets out a low moan, or when he lets himself slip a little further down your throat. This is as far as he's ever gotten and you want him to know how good you are, how hard you've been practicing  with the toys underneath your bed. He slides out, precum dripping onto your tongue as he does, and you bat your lashes at him.

"Use me," you tell him. "Use me like the toy that I am for you, Daddy." Something darkens in his eyes and he doesn't hesitate to thrust  back in.

Your eyes water with the force of it and you don't stop the moan that escapes you as he slides deeper down your throat than he's ever been before. There's still a couple inches left before he'd be fully sheathed, but Hyunwoo doesn't even seem to notice as he pulls out just to thrust back in.

Neither of you are quiet — you can barely hear the wet squelch of your mouth. It's drowned out by the moans he draws from you, which in turn pull moans from him between the words he growls out.

"God, you're so perfect," he mutters as he fucks your throat with abandon. "The perfect angel slut, so good at getting throatfucked, just made for my cock no matter where it goes, huh? You're such a good whore, you're probably fucking soaked just from my dick in your mouth, aren't you?"

You whimper around him and he speeds up, relentless; he's not wrong either — you are soaked, can feel it between your thighs as your hips rock fruitlessly against empty air.

"Oh, look at you," Hyunwoo coos, "So desperate to be fucked while sucking me off. Maybe one day I'll get one of your buddies over here to fuck your throat while you ride my cock, since you're so desperate to get used like a good slut. But I don't even think that'll be enough, will it? Because they won't be me." He thrusts a little deeper, a little rougher, and you aren't sure if the noises you're making are as loud as they seem to you but either way, they only serve to egg him on. 

"No," Hyunwoo continues, "They won't be Daddy, will they? They won't be able to get this deep in your throat, won't be able to fuck you like this. And you know why? Because this is my hole." He punctuates the sentence with a sharp thrust and you squeeze the backs of his thighs to show your agreement. "You're my perfect slut. My good little whore. Isn't that right, baby girl?"

You squeeze the backs of his thighs again, but it isn't enough. He stills, still buried nearly to the hilt inside you, and cocks a brow.

"Well? Aren't you my perfect whore?" Your face flames, heat burning in your cheeks. Your jaw aches from being stretched for so long, there spit and precum dripping down your chin  and you can feel him throbbing in your throat. 

And Hyunwoo looks expectant. He wants to hear you agree with him, wants you to remind yourself of this fact.

You don't even blink when he pulls his phone out of the pocket of his sweats. You can't see what he does, but based on how he angles it and the shallow thrusts he gives without looking away from the screen, you can guess. 

"Aw, is my baby girl getting shy now?" He teases as you make eye contact with the lens and feel your face heat up. "Don't even worry about it, baby. I just wanna remember how fucking perfect you look right now forever. My perfect cocksucking slut."

You whimper, pussy clenching around nothing and you're overcome with a sudden need to feel him inside you.

"Are you gonna be a good slut now?" Hyunwoo continues, still recording. "Are you daddy's good slut?" You nod and can't stop the reflexive swallow as he goes even deeper. Hyunwoo groans at the feeling and you can see his grip on his phone tighten for a moment.

"Say it," he commands when his eyes open once more. "I want to hear you say it."

" 'm 'a'y's 'er'ec' 'ore," you moan. It doesn't even sound like words, at this point, but when you look back up at him with wide eyes. Hyunwoo looks proud.

"You absolutely are," he whispers. He hits a button and then pockets his phone again. He slides carefully out of your mouth and casually strokes his cock with one hand as he wipes spit from your face with the other. "I think you've been a perfect angel, baby girl, so you've earned your reward. Where would you like it?"

"Bed, please, Daddy." Your voice is hoarse and scratchy, but you don't care, and Hyunwoo doesn't seem to either as he pulls his sweats up and then bends. The world spins for a moment and then steadies, and you realize he's got you in his arms. Hyunwoo carries you like a princess towards the room you share, and tosses you on the bed without hesitation.

Your eyes widen as he starts to strip out of his clothes, and you can't deny that you enjoy the show. The torso of muscles all rippling, the golden skin all shining, the desire in his eyes. Then the sweats — they hit the ground with a thud and you idly hope his phone is alright before you remember there are more important things right now.

He is, unsurprisingly, still hard — almost painfully so, a deep swollen pink at the head and jumping every so often. The vein running up the underside is throbbing, and you can actually feel yourself get wetter with anticipation.

One knee rests on the mattress, then the other, and Hyunwoo is crawling towards you on his hands and knees, and you can see every muscle as it shifts and fuck you love this man.

"I love you," you tell him, not for the first time. He breaks for a second, a bright smile taking over his face.

"I love you," he replies, pressing a kiss to your thigh. "Can we take those clothes off now, baby, because as great as you look, you're even better naked."

Breath catches in your throat and you nod. Hyunwoo is almost reverent as his hands glide up your thighs and is exceedingly gentle as he slides down the zipper and then the skirt itself. He smiles again, almost shy, and you can't help but marvel at the fact that this is the same man who bad you gagging on his dick not five minutes ago.

He leans in and gently nudges your nose with his, but when you lean forward to kiss him, he backs away with a playful grin. His warm hand rests on your waist and he leans in again only to dart back when you try to kiss him — not far, though. He's still close enough that you can feel the heat of his breath mix with yours, but it's still infuriating. 

You pout at him, and his smile just grows. "What is it?" He asks, teasing. "What do you want?" His lips ghost over yours as he speaks and it nearly breaks you.

"You," You whine. "I want you."

"You have me." He leans forward then, capturing your lips with an intensity you haven't seen in a long time. His mouth moves against yours and it's firm, commanding, and absolutely intoxicating as he pulls back just to lightly bite your lips. It's not rough, not really, but it's fiery and exciting and everything you've wanted. 

He presses closer, nimble fingers undoing the buttons of your blouse in what seems like an instant. Warm hands cross your spine and then your bra is gone, too. His skin seems to meld to yours, hands moving everywhere as he lays you back. 

Your breath hitches when you feel him against your entrance and he smiles into the bruise he's sucking into your throat. 

"You're so fucking wet, baby," he breathes as his tip teases against your entrance. "You're always so wet for me, so ready to be fucked. Just a perfect fucking whore, huh?" He slides in then, but only a bit. Just like before, it's just barely enough for you to feel him stretching you out. Just a tease of what's to come.

"Hyunwoo," you whine. You can see the amusement in his eyes as he chuckles.

"What is it? You want more?" He slides in further, but just a centimeter. You whine again, pushing your hips up against his to try to push him deeper. You can feel yourself throbbing, aching, for him, and you're tired of being teased. You want to be full. 

You tell him as much, watching his pupils dilate with every word until there's hardly any iris left to be seen. 

"Is that so?" He mutters, almost to himself. "Well, your wish is my command." He slides in, slowly, but this time he doesn't stop. He just keeps going and going and going, until you can feel him at your cervix. It stings – you're stretched so far, and he's so deep inside – but you relish it. 

"Beautiful," Hyunwoo mutters as he begins to slide back out, inch by agonizing inch. You whimper as the tip nearly slides out, too, and your hips lift of their own accord. Hyunwoo takes the hint and pushes back in; he creates a rhythm, one so slow, so maddening, that you're on the verge of tears as you whine and whimper underneath him. 

He notices your frustration, pulls himself away from lazily mouthing at your nipples, and hums. 

"What's wrong, baby? You aren't satisfied yet?" He gives you that Boy-Next-Door grin that you know hides a demon behind it. "Are you going to ask nicely again? Tell me no one fills you up like I do and beg me to fuck you the way you want? You look so pretty when you beg."

Any other time, you wouldn't. You would at least hesitate, make him work a little harder for your pleas. But you're desperate and frustrated and have no shame, so you don't hesitate. 

"Please, Daddy," you beg, letting your legs fall open and arching your back so his eyes drop lower and lower. "Please, Daddy, no one can fill this pussy like you do, no one can fuck my holes like you. Pl–please," you moan as he slides entirely inside once more, "Please fuck me right, make me come on your cock, I wan– wanna be fucked stupid, want you to– to fuck me stupid, please, wanna be Daddy's perfect slut, pl– Ah!"

You can't help your surprised gasp as Hyunwoo flips you onto your stomach with a low growl.

Warmth drapes along your back as you rise up, palms splayed across the sheets and elbows locked to keep you upright; his skin is sweat-slick and heated against your own, and a shiver runs down your spine when he pauses to runs his teeth along the lobe of your ear. 

"You are the best part of my life," he announces.

Butterflies explode in your belly a split second before he slides out of you.

"And I'm gonna make you cum so hard that you'll never forget that fact."

"Hyunwo— Oh!"

He thrusts into you with enough force to toss you into the headboard, had he not planted one hand firmly on your hip and had the other curled around your breast to tease your nipple. 

"You like that?" Hyunwoo asks with a smile in his voice. He repeats the movement and you clench around him as you gasp out a moan.  It's all you can do to nod and he flicks your nipple in response. "Good."

He lifts up, both hands now holding you steady by an iron grip on your hips, and readjusts his legs so yours are spread slightly wider. Your arms are trembling but you pay them no mind. 

Until Hyunwoo thrusts forward, pulling back just as quickly only to bury himself again, a heartbeat later. His pace is absolutely merciless; the sound of skin hitting skin fills the room, mixing beautifully with the wet slide as he shoves back in and the rough, throat moans that he pulls from you. Your vision swims, and you can't concentrate on anything else as he gives you the fucking that's been haunting your dreams every night. 

He adjusts his grip, one hand moving to sit firmly on the small of your back and press you down just a bit. The angle shifts – not much, but enough that the next time he pounds into you, he thrusts right up against that spot that makes your toes curl. 

You cry out, vision going white as he hits it again, and again, and again, absolutely ruthless in his mission. Your muscles go weak, biceps twitching as they give out, and then you're face down in the mattress. Hyunwoo doesn't hesitate, just ghosts his palm down to rest between your shoulders and keep you in place. 

He might be talking – you certainly think you hear the low tones of his voice as he speaks to you, but you can't make out words. It's too much work, too many syllables, too much effort to try to work past the haze that blankets your mind. You can still feel him, pumping in and out of your gushing pussy — the stretch barely stings anymore, and he throbs inside of you.  Each thrust is still perfectly angled to hit that mind-numbing place that keeps you from doing anything more than screeching his name. 

He slows, immediately switching from speed to power as he manages to put even more force behind his hips. The hand in your back moves, as does the one on your hip and then you're rising.

A warm palm across your throat – not choking,  just keeping you in place while the other traces along your spread thigh. 

There are words – something your brain is too fried to make out, and then a rumble that vibrates through you. A laugh. His thrusts get a little faster as he fucks up into you, and you're dimly aware of his fingers slipping between your folds. 

Someone screams — no, not someone. You. You scream, something so loud and provocative that it can't even be called a moan anymore, as he begins to rub circles around your clit. Orgasms rock through you,  every part of your body going boneless even as you shake from the force of it. It's impossible to tell when it stops, if it stops – the aftershocks are strong and he still hasn't stopped fucking you, though he's slower and gentler now, letting you ride it out on his cock. 

"……perfect for me, " you hear him whisper as you're senses come back. "Absolutely perfect, an amazing fucking— just divine, you are."

"Hyun," you manage, and it's no shock that you sound absolutely wrecked.  "D– Daddy."

"I'm here, baby girl," he mutters, "What do you need?"

"You," You respond instantly. "Want you, wanna fee– feel it, want you to fill me, please, in– ah, inside, want you dripping ou–" You're cut off once more as your body heaves with yet another aftershock, clenching around his hard length again. 

"Whatever you want, baby," he promises. "Can you come once more for me, baby girl? Just one more time so we can come together?"

"Mm…." You pause, taking the best inventory you can as your muscles jolt again. You consider lying to him, or just omitting this, because you know he'll never stop reminding you of it, but decide against it. Instead, you quietly admit,  "I don't think I ever stopped."

"Oh, fuck," he breathes. Within moments, you can feel his thrusts turn more erratic, more frenzied, and then you're impossibly fuller even as something warm drips down the inside of your thigh. 

He's gentle as he lays you down on the bedspread, exceedingly so as he pulls his softening cock out of you. His weight disappears from the bed for a few minutes that seem to stretch into hours, and then the mattress dips, and his soft smile appears once more. 

"Here sweetheart, drink this." He hands you a familiar cup and when you take a sip, the water is cool and refreshing. Wet warmth, surprising but pleasant, glides along your inner thigh and you look down to see him cleaning you up. 

"Mm, this is quite possibly the perfect view," you tease, wagging your brows as you make a show of checking out his muscular arms. It makes him laugh, the soft one that's just for when you're being ridiculous. 

"Drunk your water, you menace," he commands as he continues to wipe. "You're gonna need to replenish your fluids, after all that." He looks pointedly towards the bed and you follow his gaze, face heating when your eyes land on the rather sizable wet spot staining the sheets. 

"Whoops?" You offer. When you look back at him, he only looks fond. 

"Don't even start, it was hot. Besides, they needed to be put in the wash anyway.  I'll start them after you get into the bath." He gives over you, taking kisses along every piece of skin he can until he reaches your lips. You can't help the way your breath catches – even after all this time, he manages to make you breathless over the smallest things.

He peppers kisses along your cheeks, and nose, and everywhere else until you're giggling and trying to turn away from him. Unfortunately, with his arms on either side of you, you're fairly well trapped, so you settle for fucking your head into his neck instead. 

You pause. Sniff again. Back up. He looks sheepish, like he already knows what you're going to say. 

"We were out of the fancy stuff—" He tries, but you don't let him. 

"You used that 3-in-1 shit again?" You demand. "Actual body wash isn't even fancy, it's what normal people use! That's it, you're coming into the bath with me after you start the laundry so that I can make sure you didn't use it in your hair, too."

He smiles again, though you have a sneaking suspicion that he's just humoring you when he nods and says, "Whatever you want."

[bookwyrminspiration]

HI ITS DRUG ANON, U GOT ME THINKING

(also another warning this kinda goes into (body horror???) like weird organ issues and such)

You make a really good point about how like, the mental ability of an individual is so highly valued that anything that alters the mind might be negatively looked down upon. I didn't really consider that n it is interesting to consider. But it also got me thinking about elixirs in general, because elves PUMP those things down their throat, like the ratio of injuries being solved by elixirs to injuries being solved by casts/bandaids/literally any other method, is SO LARGE.

(Tbh im convinced that Shannon has become a little too reliant on elixirs and has sort of...created an elixir for everything therefore lowering the stakes of keeper, but thats an ask for another time)

There has to be a side effect to taking so much right??? RIGHT??? Like yeah theres specific elixirs? that might taste bad, or might give you weird dreams but wheres the real consequences??? Like at what point does an absurd amount of elixirs start to cause medical problems? DO THEY SLOVE THOSE WITH ELIXIRS TOO??

Like if you were to drink too much of the bone growth shit could that fuck up your bones? Would they get soft and collapse or would they simply start to 'over grow" and beef up, creating medical problems as they cause the narrowing of veins and shit??? HOW DOES SUCH A LARGE AMOUNT OF LIQUID EFFECT THE BLOOD?

CW for just general disturbing imagery

Radium is something people used to refer to as if it were some type of miracle serum, to the point where some doctors prescribed it as medicine. Obviously radium is not a good replacement for medicine and ended up seriously fucking with some peoples insides (rotting in particular, one mans jaw ended up just ??? straight up falling off??)

but THATS the shit Im talking about, like serious body fuckery that could be caused by over consumption.

ALSO!! BODY ALTERING ELIXIRS

Ex, if you were to get an elixir that made you taller - I feel like that would seriously fuck up your bones by the next day, so are there consequences? Do you need support when walking or can you just not walk at all? How extreme is the pain?

With elixirs that make you more muscular / heavier (ruckleberries or something) - is there excess skin afterwards? Id say there would have to be so I guess for the next few days youd have to wait for your skin to sort of ... fit back (I know thats not how it works in real life but just work w me here)

IF YOU FUCK WITH UR EYE COLOR TOO MUCH IS BLINDNESS AN ISSUE?? does it hurt your vision after a while??

Anyway you get the idea, but just GAHHH I WANT CONSEQUENCES SHANNON

(another point but this kind of makes me wonder if the elven bodies have adjusted over time to allow them to drink so many liquids or if they just constantly have to pee, I know Sophie probably drinks more than the average elf given her record, but I think its fun to consider?)

hello!! nice to see you again!! thank you for your patience and I got to this ask, as I know you sent it a while ago. also I think it's hilarious how you introduced yourself in all caps as "drug anon" !! Also thanks for the warning!

In elven society it feels like everything revovles around what your mind can do. Your constitution, your ability, your control, all those things. You are your mind and your worth is measured in how well it works. Drugs interfering with that...can't say I'd expect it to be seen well. Though it was brought to my attention that Oralie casually mentioned being intoxicated once offhandedly in a light tone, so there does seem to at least be some normalization of recreational drinking.

But maybe wine and other substances are viewed in the same way elixirs are, providing a benefit (if you see the effects of alcohol as a benefit) but containing a negative side effect (being drunk/hungover/etc) to keep them from using too often. Kinda like all those appearance changing elixirs where they taste bad to keep you from enjoying their effects.

And speaking of the weird medicine, I think I’ve talked about that before!! I brought up once that the number of elixirs these people drink is literally physically impossible (I wonder if I can find that post...)—also wondered why they didn’t use things like pills and topical treatments more often. There's the occasional burn cream and all that, but there are so! many! elixirs!

(also you're totally right about the relying on elixirs to fix things point. it's basically like "as long as you get to elwin the fight may as well have never happened in terms of physical impact!" Fitz does now have his limp and Biana her scars (and others have other injuries), but it does feel like a fix-all for any problem. I mean, I used Elwin like that in a way too in my au. I was like ah yes if I just get Elwin to them then I can set them to net-zero injury wise. but i'm also trying not to do that, yet I can understand how easy it is to fall into that pattern)

and the thing about mixing elixirs!! I might've briefly touched on that when I complained about Elwin's medical records in Unlocked, but I didn't go into detail. In human medicine, there are things you can't mix or have icky side affects when you do mix them. That's part of why it's so important to have thorough, unbiased medical records. And Elwin's...did not deliver that. Specifically it being written like "I gave her too many elixirs to count" no!! bestie!! that's part of your job!! to document exactly how you care for a patient!! and like while I do understand why this was done from Shannon's perspective, I don't think there's anything that will allow me to read those records without being furious about it. There are so many medical professionals in my family I cannot be unbiased about it; i’ve been infected with knowledge.

honestly “DO THEY SLOVE THOSE WITH ELIXIRS TOO??” sent me, nonsie. like they would. Elwin would walk up into the room like “hey kid!! I gave you too much medicine and now your body is shutting down!! but don’t worry, I have this other medicine that will fix it--” meanwhile Sophie’s just sitting there like finally. my time has come.

your example of Too Much Bone reminds me of that one autoimmune disorder I don’t remember how to spell (anklyosing spondylitus? I spelled something wrong there but that’s mostly right). I don’t know why I pointed that out but that’s the thought I had. Something something elven disorders and conditions are artificial proving how inhuman they truly are. Though I’d prefer they were written with actual disorders, both physical and mental.

But elven medicine is so strange yet it’s written like “oh because it’s all mostly immediate effects and you drink it so it’s really tame and friendly!!” as if that makes it good?? like I have so many questions. Maybe I also just like exploring the consequences of things--powers, medicine, etc. I’m also concerned for how often these patients need to use the bathroom like that’s a lot of fluids. Like bestie you good? I don’t think we’ve every canonically seen a toilet either so I wish them luck with that. This just in: elves produce no liquid waste. Wait would they still have a bladder/ureters?? What would their function be then--or is that space just...empty. Another thing just in: elves organs are in different places. Should we add...another organ? What would its purpose be?? My brain is saying it should be something to do with lightleaping but idk why. This is so off topic.

But I want consequences to the medicine!! Especially with such prolific use that we see with the kotlcrew! There’s probably some symbolism there about how the only thing that destroys them is themself and how they abuse their bodies for fun and aesthetic. Their vanity will be the death of them and all that.

(wait I didn’t realize the thing at the end was talking about liquids and peeing frequently. I just...invented an organ and rearranged their insides independently of you saying that. great minds think alike...? maybe? but either way I do wonder about their bathroom habits from time to time. Elves canonically fart (thank you for that information, Keefe), so if flatulence occurs similar to humans they have intestines. but they’ve never used the bathroom...)

[lilshotgun]

So here's why i've been inactive for the past couple months on tumblr:

As many of you know, I've been a fairly avid content creator for the warrior nun fandom creating a ton of content for free. I joined a Warrior Nun discord server named Future Warrior Nuns (which is a ridiculous name considering in the show Ava says there will be no more warrior nuns but that's besides the point) and the treatment I received there was amazing. At the beginning. I spoke up about racism and injustices within the community because you cannot escape it anywhere unfortunately and I believed I'd found a community that would protect me and be there for me if i was ever faced with racism or hate.

For clarity, anyone in blue is a moderator. As you go on to read this their usernames and profile images might change so I’ll clarify who is who. I’ll only be using the names I’ve been presented with and only the ones that are most relevant to the situation. 

Fiesta  (white American cis woman) aka Doesn't Kelly, Witch Rhyme

Taz (white Australian cis woman) 

Milan (a very sheltered American transmasculine poc whos uncomfortable talking about racism because they've never had to deal with it) aka Who The Fuck Is Kelly

Rory (white Australian cis woman) aka Stronger Kelly

 But after a while, things slowly started to change. It was subtle and if you hadn't been there from the beginning, you wouldn't have noticed. It started with the moderators spending less time in the server because they had made many of their own servers and spent far more time over there. Which is understandable when you’re a group of friends that all have a common purpose. But the lack of leadership was palpable. I had to sometimes direct fellow server members to proper channels or do a few other things that were supposed to be things that the moderators were supposed to take care of and their lack of care for the server was becoming more relevant. If you were in their little group of friends or kissed their ass then they wouldn't target you unnecessarily. 

    Exactly three weeks later, (and only one week after my birthday in which everyone was super sweet and nice to me) the love and friendship they claimed to have for me vanished completely. For context, people in positions of power, especially in a server, should be people you can come to if you ever have an issue with anything or anyone. They should also be people that can come to terms with admitting their behavior was incorrect when being told so. So here is what happened:

I have always been open about being a transmasculine person of color on all my platforms, and if you know me on any platform you know that. The behavior shown here between me and the moderators was absolutely appalling to me. They pushed my voice aside and only acknowledged Narcissa, a cis white woman, who was agreeing and saying the same things i had because i had asked her in private to help me out because i felt it was unfair that two server moderators were coming at me so aggressively. 

As you can see from the screenshots, they claimed that I attacked Fiesta when i was simply pointing out that her behavior was hypocritical and unfair especially because she is in a position of power and that's something people of power should be aware of. 

I was the only one brave enough to say what everyone was thinking. And that's something I have always taken pride in. Speaking up for others when they are too scared to do so themselves. And that was shown through multiple people coming into my dms to tell me they either felt the same way I did or they felt the way I was treated in the conversation above was unfair. This next screenshot is from a private message from a former manager. 

Narcissa (white cis woman)  received a few apologies from the server managers privately, yet my dms stayed vacant. At this point, they made a “public apology” towards everyone in the server which I forgot to screenshot, and not a single server manager reached out to me in private. But they did share these in the server for everyone to see:

They then opened an anonymous feedback form for us to share if we had any issues privately, which of course, I did, and so I filled it out saying “wheres my fucking apology ~king” so they would know exactly who the response was coming from. I was angry and hurt that they treated me the way they did. I regretted wording it like that almost instantly after sending it. But the deed was done and it was unchangeable. And not too long after, this was posted publicly in the server feedback channel so that everyone in the server could see:

Whether I shared that it was from me or not, she violated the server moderators unanimous statement saying that everything posted in the feedback form would stay anonymous and made my response public using the excuse that me sharing my name made it okay for her to show it to everyone. I was also being informed by other people I’m friends with that the forms that were being submitted were not staying anonymous and that they were being shared from other moderators privately in other peoples' dms.

I stuck around in the server because the people that I had formed friendships with were there and they were special to me and I wanted to be able to talk to them still in spite of everything that had happened to me up until this point. I was much more subdued at this point, I was posting less art and as you noticed I practically disappeared from twitter as well. 

My love for Warrior Nun was decreasing rapidly because the environment had become so toxic and unwelcoming that I felt scared to say much in the server in fear of being banned after seeing one of my trans poc friends banned for saying hi to another member. They had been looking for a reason to ban him for being on my side instead of theirs and apparently found the “perfect” excuse. They deleted his messages and claimed in their private admin channel that he had harassed someone in the server without screenshotting the false evidence first. How do I know this? Because I had a person on the team that valued me as a person instead of as a content creator and what I could give to the server.

I proceeded to curate the server for what fit me best, considering the ridiculous number of channels they created that had nothing to do with the show at this point. And there was an option for members to do that so I used the tools they had provided with and opted out of channels I no longer wanted to see. I consolidated it down to 35 out of 66 channels because some of them had no opt out option. And still, it was way more channels than I'd prefer to be in. I narrowed it down to only ships I actually cared about instead of having a bunch of channels I was never gonna read or say things in. And that's when the manager that cared about us provided me with these telling screenshots.

Why put me in “jail” over removing some roles? It may not have been explicit, but the internalized racism of putting a person of color in “jail” for curating what they wanted from a server is frankly off putting to say the least. "Implicit racism includes unconscious biases, expectations, or tendencies that exist within an individual, regardless of ill-will or any self-aware prejudices." 

And what does carl bot do exactly? It logs EVERYTHING. But only if that feature is enabled. And clearly, in Future Warrior Nuns, it is.

 They didn’t care about me and didn’t care that I was a consistent content creator. For lack of better words, I was one of the biggest reasons the actual part of the server that was dedicated to the show was constantly active and once I became quiet, along with a few other content creators I talked with, the activity decreased immensely. I said things here and there but that was about it. Until I was looking through their emotes. I noticed that they had trans, gay, demi, bi, aro, and ace heart emotes but the lesbian one wasnt there. Which was honestly surprising considering how much of the fandom identifies as lesbian. So I asked for it to be added and after it was, so many people were super happy because of it.

One day later i asked for more Mary emotes because they hadn’t completely brushed me off after requesting for the lesbian pride one. I noticed that Ava, the white character, had 72 animated and still emotes at the time while Mary, the black character, only had 18. And only 4 out of those were positive emotes. Here's that conversation:

I offered up my services to create Mary emotes for them considering I was an artist and content creator and it would be no issue for me at all to contribute but they declined, saying they were working on some themselves and that they would eventually add them to the server. The ones that they had created all looked terrible. They didn't know how to color correct her skin so that it wouldn't look ashy because of the filters used in the show and instead of asking for help from me, an artist of color, they simply did their own thing. And from 18 emotes, it went up to a dazzling 24. 

Needless to say, the racism they claimed not to have was pretty evident at this point. It was shockingly clear that they didn’t care as much about the characters of color than they did for the white and white passing ones. After this entire debacle I didn't even bother trying to ask for more emotes for Lilith considering how warmly I was welcomed with asking for more Mary emotes. 

A little less than two months after the initial incident, I still hadn’t been contacted by anyone on the admin team about absolutely anything in private. It wasn’t until people asked Fiesta if she had reached out to me or even bothered with an apology before she sent me this:

The “apology” was worthless. Too much time had passed since I was publicly humiliated and portrayed as the evil transmasculine person of color to them, and only a select few people interacted with me. I felt completely shut out because of how the admin team handled a difference of opinion. Instead of correcting themselves and admitting they were wrong, they doubled down on the intimidation and bullying  by changing their rules so that they could find excuses to ban or punish anyone they felt was not on their side. 

At this point, my grades were heavily declining. I was already struggling with keeping up with everything on my own due to covid and my mental disabilities. Being a victim of this racist behavior made everything worse. I couldn’t get out of bed, I was barely eating a meal a day because I had no motivation to work so I had little to no money to buy myself food. I was starving most days. And I didn’t ask my mom for help because I felt everything was my fault and that I really was in the wrong and shouldn't have said anything even though looking back at it I wasn't wrong for what I said. I had also been informed that my dad died because of covid and because of all of this stress and depression I had officially failed my classes. 

This is really difficult for me to say because I’m a very private person and I hate asking for help or sharing anything about my private life, but for you to understand everything that was happening to me at the time, this is stuff you unfortunately need to know. 

There’s many more things that I could say about this server but this thread is already long enough as it is and it was hard enough to write this all down. But behind closed doors, the admin team had some of the nastiest attitudes and behaviors you could’ve seen. Had they realized we had someone on their team that actually valued us and others as people, they probably would have kept their blatant ignorance and dislike towards server members hidden better. But white people like oppressing others when they know they can get away with it and this is just another sad unfortunate example that cost me and my fellow friends of color some heavy emotional and psychological damage.     They did wrong and refused to acknowledge it and instead tried to find a way to ban us for not having the hivemind that they so desperately want to control everyone with. If you want to see for yourself, feel free to find a link to a discord server named Future Warrior Nuns. If you look back through their channels, you’ll find most of these conversations either gone or have many messages missing. I hope my story will help understand why I’ve been gone from tumblr for so long and i hope something like this never happens to you.

[scarlettroubles]

Drawing Process: A Crown for a Fool

Thumbnails:

Okay so I had the idea for this drawing for the longest time but only finally got the motivation to actually get to drawing it after clowning with @weirdcursedvaultkid​ for like, 3 weeks straight about Merula and I really wanted to get the drawing right so I ended up doing a few thumbnails. Thumbnails are a great way to plan out the composition of your drawing so I made sure to explore a few different ways the drawing could go. 

The whole idea behind this drawing was basically going to be around Merula’s want for power and recognition but how as the years go by and she actually starts making meaningful relationships with mc and co., she comes to the realization that she might not want that anymore and starts to question herself and the values she was raised with, but doesn’t really know how to stop. She doesn’t know how to be a better person when all her life she’s been taught that power meant everything and feels that because of her past actions, power is the only thing left for her. And so she continues down the line of bad choices and comes to regret it.

The crown symbolizes the power and recognition Merula has worked so hard towards achieving, but as she’s about to put it on, she hesitates. She knows she doesn’t want this anymore and knows it will bring her no satisfaction. And so I had her looking away from the camera in shame. I wanted this piece to have dramatic lighting to give this sort of magical feel to it but also a feeling of complete, utter loneliness to show that her ambitions only led her to be more alone then she ever has been in years. 

Out of all the thumbnails I decided to go with the second one and with that, I proceed to work on the lineart.

Lineart:

The trickiest part of this stage was getting the crown and the expression on Merula’s face right. Since I wanted those two things to be the central part of the finished piece. I think I had to redo Merula’s expression 5 times because I was just so unhappy with it. The hands were also tricky because what the fuck are hands even-

Colors:

And again, were at my favorite part of the drawing which is the coloring. I put down the base colors but once I was done I realized I was sorta stumped on what to do next. I usually just do a very simple shading where I choose a shade of red and proceed to color in the shadows on a multiply layer and then slap a few overlay layers on the piece but when I did do that this happened:

It didn’t look like how I wanted it to look like at all. I remember feeling so disappointed at where the drawing was going I wanted to give up on the piece and try again next time. But instead of doing that, I instead took a step back to think of a way to save this piece. 

And that’s when I decided I was gonna properly shade the whole thing. Something I don’t really do with most of my drawings anymore because it just takes so much time. But I wanted to give my best for this piece and let me tell you, taking my time and shading this thing properly was definitely what saved me from abandoning this drawing all together. So don’t be afraid to take your time with your artwork kids XD

Shading:

I had a lot of fun playing with colors and warm tones for this piece. I painted Merula’s skin with some shades of purple to go in with the reds and oranges and once that was done I made several overlay layers, picked a shade of yellows and oranges and just proceeded to play around with them while also keeping in mind where the light source is. Lighting is still something incredibly tricky to me so I most definitely fucked it up at some places. I picked a shade of purple and made a new multiply layer and proceeded to make a block of shadow around Merula’s eyes to really sell that look of regret and melancholy I wanted her to have for this piece. Most of the shading got covered up by the overlay and multiply layers I set up which admittedly made me pretty sad since I spent so much time on it ;-; 

But the piece was finally coming together so it worked out in the end.

Final Touches:

And with that, I put up the final touches by setting up a bunch of shine and overlay layers for the background to give it that hauntingly magical feel to it and giving the crown a little sparkle as well as a highlight for Merula’s eyes. And with that, the artwork is finished!

[i-stan-nct-and-satan]

Not Broken Part 10 (Jaehyun Mafia AU)

Not Broken Masterlist 

Jaehyun X Reader

Y/N is a burlesque dancer living in Seoul. Jaehyun is one of the most powerful mafia men in Seoul. How will Y/N survive when Jaehyun suspects that she is involved with a rival gang?

Reasons to read this story: Ten's a cross-dressing madam so..... yeah read it ya freaks.

Trigger warning: mentions of physical abuse, mentions of sexual abuse

“Wow.”  

Taeyong was the first to break the silence once the tape ended.  

Everyone in the room turned their heads to look at their boss. They had been gauging his reactions as they all listened to the tape, but no one dared to make eye contact with him until now.  

His unreadable expression juxtaposed the guilt-ridden faces that filled the room.  

Jaehyun remained silent as he processed the contents revealed in the tape.  

“Damn. We fucked up,” Mark offered, attempting to ease the tension in the room.  

An abrupt fist slammed onto the table, immediately prompting Mark to regret the words that fell past his lips.  

“What did you just say?” Jaehyun dared Mark to repeat himself.  

“Uh. I-I just,” Mark stuttered.  

“You what?”  

“I was just saying that we made a mistake. That’s all.”

“A mistake? You think that I made a mistake?”

“N-no sir, I just meant.”

“What else could you have meant?” Jaehyun challenged, standing up from the table.

“What about the rest of you? Who else thinks that I made a mistake in how I’ve chose to deal with the situation at hand?”

The room was silent as Jaehyun looked around at his men.  

“Don’t think that this changes anything. This tape is just another factor to consider. We’ve dealt with hostages in the past who have come up with more convincing stories than this one. The fact of the matter is that we’ve just heard another story and we don’t know if it’s true or not and even if it is, that still doesn’t mean that we were anything less than professional in how we’ve gone about this mission. I expect you all to remember who we are and why we’re here.”

Jaehyun looked at his second in command whose eyes were currently glued to the floor.

“To find the bastard who killed IU. Don’t let your feelings get in the way of that. Y/N isn’t a woman, she’s a suspect. Remember that.”

<><><><><><><><>

I shut the water off.

“Finished?”  

“Yeah.”

“Here’s a towel.”

I instinctively crossed my arms over my breasts, half expecting Winwin to pull back the curtain completely. I was relieved when instead, Winwin’s hand enter the shower only to hand me a fluffy, oatmeal-colored towel.  

“Thanks,” I mumbled, cursing myself under my breath for having thanked one of my captors.

“When you’re done drying off, wrap yourself **** and then come out,” the raven-haired boy instructed.

I quickly ran the towel over my body before using it to give my hair a quick ruffle with it to keep my hair from dripping all over. I didn’t want to rush, but I didn’t want to risk irritating the man acting as my prison guard, so I wasted no time in wrapping the towel around my frame before stepping out into the spacious bathroom.  

Winwin’s eyes only looked over my body for a brief moment before he walked over to the door. The apparent disinterest in his stare caused me to wonder if he was only looking to make sure I wasn’t hiding anything under my towel. Maybe he really wasn’t interested in women, not that a man’s lack of attraction to me meant that he lacked an attraction to any woman. I wasn’t deluded enough to think that.  

“Are you coming or not?” he asked, obviously annoyed.

Yet again, I had found myself distracted by unimportant thoughts. I followed him out the door and back into the large bedroom.  

“What’s your size?”

“Excuse me?”  

Winwin rolled his eyes as he grabbed my free hand, the one that wasn’t holding my towel in place. He guided me over to a black dresser whose shiny painted coating gave it an obsidian-like appearance. I lost myself in the reflection of the black surface and for a fleeting second, I questioned whether a dresser made of obsidian was really that farfetched of an idea, especially in a house like this.  

Winwin kneeled in front of the dresser and opened the bottom drawer. He took out a few pairs of pants before closing the drawer and opening the one above it. I watched as he continued to open each drawer, take out a few articles of clothing and then close them again. Once his arms were filled with clothing, he stood up and walked over to the neatly made bed. He dropped the clothing onto the bed, ruining its once wrinkle free surface.  

“See what fits.”

I turned to Winwin, now aware of what he had meant before when he asked for my size.  

“I don’t want to change in front of you.”

Winwin rolled his eyes for the hundredth time.

“Then I guess you better check the sizes to see what fits **** you don’t have to do it more than once,” he instructed.

Knowing that he wasn’t going to budge, I walked over to bed and inspected the labels on each article of clothing. I had only meant to look at the sizing, but I couldn’t help but notice the branding that adorned each piece. Dior, Chanel, and Versace littered the bed spread. Lucky for me, the clothes all seemed to be roughly my size with only a few exceptions that were definitely meant for someone much thinner than me. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to choose any of the articles that appeared to be on the more expensive side, so I grabbed the plainest white T shirt I could find and a pair of jeans. I couldn’t help but notice that even the T shirt, which the average person wouldn’t have been able to distinguish from one that came in a Hanes value pack, had a Gucci tag on the inside.  

Rich people, I swear.

I turned away from Winwin and gave my best attempt to put on the shirt and jeans while still hiding my body with the towel. There wasn’t any underwear on the bed to choose from, but I figured that was because Winwin believed that no underwear was better than used underwear, a sentiment I agreed with.  

“Hey Winwin?” I asked as I awkwardly changed into the fresh set of clothing.  

“Hm?”  

“Whose room is this?”

Winwin paused for a few seconds as he organized his thoughts.  

“Lee Ji-eun's.”

I shot Winwin a glance while continuing to change.  

“Oh. Who is that?” I probed further as I pulled the shirt over my head.

“Jaehyun’s sister. The one who was killed by Lucas.”

The towel dropped to my feet.

<><><><><><><><>

“So, what do we do now, sir?” Johnny asked, cautious not to piss his boss off any more than he already was.  

“Right now, we have to check her story out for any inconsistencies. Taeil, recheck the footage from the ball. If there’s anything we missed, we need to find it.”

“Got it,” Taeil obliged, opening his laptop.  

“Johnny, go tell Winwin to take the girl back to the basement,” Jaehyun commanded.

“On it.”  

Johnny turned to leave when the sound of vigorously clacking keys came to a sudden stop.  

“Um, boss?” Taeil gulped, causing both Johnny and Jaehyun to turn towards him.

“You might want to take a look at this,” he continued, rotating the screen so they could see.

“Crap,” Jaehyun muttered, gritting his teeth.  

Taeyong positioned himself beside Jaehyun so that he could see what his friend was referring to.

“Oh no.”

“What? What is it?” Mark asked as he tried to see the screen only for Jaehyun to close it.  

“They know.”  

Everyone’s eyes were on Jaehyun as Taeyong took the lead in updating everyone.  

“That was a message from Wayv. They know Y/N killed Lucas and they know we have her. Not only that, but they’re demanding we give her to them.”

“Wait, so that confirms that Y/N’s story is true, right? That she didn’t have anything to do with IU’s death,” Mark exclaimed excitedly.

Jaehyun sent a glare towards Mark.

“What it means is that we have a rat among us, moron,” Doyoung spat.

“W-what?” Mark faltered.

“That’s right,” Jaehyun began.

“It makes sense that word would spread after the events of the burlesque show. It wouldn’t be that much of a surprise if they figured out the identity of the girl we took or even why we took her, but one thing’s for sure, there was no way that they could have found out about the contents on the tape without someone here leaking it.”

“Jae, you know that no one here would betray us, and besides, there are over ways they could have found out. They could have hacked us,” Taeyong voiced.

“How Taeyong? We used as old-fashioned recording device,” Jaehyun boomed.

“No evidence of hacking our networks either,” Taeil chimed in having reopened his laptop.  

“What about hidden cameras?”  

Taeil lifted his head from the laptop.

“Not a chance there either. I implemented a system that messes with the electromagnetic frequency of certain HighTech transmitting recording devices. That’s why we use older forms of recording devices.”  

Taeyong sat down, looking defeated.  

“Okay, but... who could it even be?”  

A pregnant pause washed over the room as everyone attempted to cease their wandering eyes.

“Fuck!” Jaehyun cursed causing everyone to look at him.  

“Winwin is alone with Y/N right now! That bastard!”

Jaehyun turned to Taeyong.  

“Hurry, we need to find them before-”

“Before what?” Taeyong panted.  

“If Winwin’s the mole, he might be under orders to hand Y/N over to Wayv or to kill her on the spot. We have to find them, now!” he yelled before they both started charging towards the East wing.

Johnny hesitated for a moment before turning to the remaining members at the table.  

“Come on, let’s go.”

Now it was Johnny’s turn to start running towards the East wing with Mark following quickly behind.  

Doyoung got up to follow but was stopped by a sudden hand that tugged at his wrist. Doyoung faced his purple haired partner.  

“What?”

“You don’t think that Winwin’s actually the mole, do you?”

Doyoung’s face softened slightly before looking down at Taeil, who was purposely avoiding his gaze.  

“I don’t know, but it’s not our place to challenge orders.”

Once the blue streaked boy disappeared from their vision, Yuta and Taeil merely stared at the empty doorway.  

“Winwin please,” Taeil prayed softly

<><><><><>

“Are you done changing?” Winwin asked.

“Oh, umm. Yeah,” I commented, having been suddenly caught off guard.  

I bent over to grab the towel that had fallen at my feet.  

Winwin did his best to explain everything to me. He told me that IU was Jaehyun’s sister and that she was killed by Lucas. He explained how Wayv defected from NCT and how they’ve been unable to find him since the incident. Winwin even told me how the necklace I was wearing the night I was kidnapped had belonged to her and that led Jaehyun and the rest of NCT 127 to believes that I had something to do with his sister’s death. I stood there and listened to him without any comments or questions. It was too much to take in all at once.  

“What? Are you surprised?” he questioned, observing your reaction.

“No,” I lied.  

I thought they were interrogating me for Lucas’ death but instead they thought I was responsible for his sister’s death? I almost died because of that mistake. Even if that’s why he acted the way he did, he nearly beat me to death and over a goddamn misunderstanding. I scoffed in bewilderment. Winwin stared at me eyebrows raised.

“I was just noticing how I’m getting better at understanding your accent,” I lied again.  

I was amazed that Winwin’s eyes didn’t fall out of his head due to all the eyerolling he did.  

“Oh wow. What an honor,” he mused sarcastically.

“So...” I began.

“So...?”

I laughed at the amount of courage I was feeling. Especially since it didn’t make much sense in this situation.  

“So, what was she like?”

“IU? Well... She wa-”

Winwin was cut off when the door to the bedroom was slammed open. The interruption was so abrupt and unexpected that I fell back onto the bed. Winwin, however, seemed unaffected by the pink haired man who had suddenly crashed the conversation. Only seconds after Jaehyun entered the room, a certain fiery red head soon followed suit.  

Jaehyun’s gaze met mine and a wave of relief seemed to wash over him, softening his usually stiff features. I, of course, hadn’t noticed this. I was too anxious to decipher the meaning behind his expression since I was still in fear for my life.

His breathing was heavy and uneven making it obvious that he had run here. He stared at Winwin, giving himself a few seconds to catch his breath and assemble his thoughts before approaching the composed man in a less than composed manner.  

“You bastard!” Jaehyun’s hands grabbed Winwin’s shoulders, forcing his narrow frame into the wall.  

Despite their similar heights, Winwin’s body, which looked as though it had been defined through years of hand-to-hand combat, looked almost fragile next to Jaehyun’s more muscular build. Anyone else would have surely felt overcome with alarm and panic if put in Winwin’s position, yet the man himself seemed to be more annoyed than anything.

“Admit it, you worthless piece of shit.”

Johnny and Mark were the next to run through the bedroom door, then Doyoung, but I hadn’t noticed their presence until Taeyong’s hand came into my field of vision. I looked up at him, realizing that he was offering to help me up. I accepted without thinking.  

“Mark over here is going to take you somewhere. Follow everything he says, okay?”  

Despite his intimidating features, his gaze resembled that of a concerned mother. His watery eyes mirrored mine and I couldn’t help but trust that his instructions were in my best interest. I nodded in response before the nearby blonde guided me into the hall.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Winwin’s bitter stare bore holes into the hands that were wrinkling his shirt.

“And what exactly is it I should be admitting?” he challenged, making no effort to remove himself from his boss’s grip.

“Don’t fuck with me, Winwin. Or should I say Sicheng?” Jaehyun spat.

Winwin’s irritation turned into genuine confusion once the name had reached his ears.  

After a short pause, Winwin’s eyes widened in realization only for them to tightly squeeze shut.

“What did Kun do?”  

An oppressive force filled the room and the now somber atmosphere resembled that of a funeral rather than an interrogation.  

Jaehyun removed his hands from Winwin but his unmoving figure informed his curly haired underling that he wasn’t finished with him yet.  

“Wayv knows.” Jaehyun carefully analyzed Winwin’s reactions as he disclosed this new information.

Winwin looked past his boss’ shoulders at the other four men standing in the room with them. Doyoung stared back at him while Johnny and Mark did their best to avoid meeting his gaze. Taeyong simply shook his head at what was happening in front of him.  

“About what? The girl?” he finally responded.  

When Jaehyun gave no hint of confirming nor denying his presumption, he continued to press on.

“And what? You think I’m the one who told them? What evidence do you have of that? None, right?” Winwin scoffed.  

“Well who else would it be?”  

“Winwin is innocent!”  

Everyone’s eyes shot towards the two men who had abruptly entered the bedroom.

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun asked.

“The message from Wayv. It wasn’t traceable.” Yuta explained.

“So? It isn’t uncommon for an enemy message to be untraceable. It’d be sloppy of them if it was.”

“Yes, but this time it’s different,” Taeil began.

“Normally with messages like these, we can at least trace them back to an IP address even though they’re almost always dead ends, but when I traced the origins of this message ...”

“Get to the point, Taeil,” Jaehyun ordered.

“Yes, sir. When I searched for the message’s origin, the IP address the message was sent from matched the IP address of the computer that received it.”

“In other words, it was sent from Taeil’s laptop,” Yuta translated.

“Wait, what does that mean? So, someone had access to Taeil’s computer?” Taeyong asked.

“Well kind of. As you all know, I’ve been the only one who’s had any direct physical contact with my laptop over the last few days,” Taeil explained.

“So, what are you saying?” Jaehyun huffed.

“Someone hacked my laptop without me knowing. I gotta give it to them, I had no idea and right now I don’t have any idea how long they’ve had access or how much control they had, but at this point, it’s highly probable that they’ve accessed control of everything my laptop has control of, including any systems we’ve implemented not to mention it’s microphone and camera.”

“So, they can hear everything Taeil’s laptop could hear,” Yuta summarized.

Jaehyun turned back to Winwin.

“Don’t think this means we’re done here,” He growled.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Winwin smirked at his boss.  

“Taeil? Where’s your laptop right now?” Jaehyun asked the brown-haired man.  

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

“So, how are you?” Mark asked as we walked down the winding hallways.

I stopped and looked at him, the irritation in my face somehow went over his head.  

“So, is that like a not good?”

“Oh no, I’m great. I might have two black eyes but at least I don’t have three,” I spat out before resuming my pace.

Mark sighed.  

“Where are we even going?” I asked, still peeved.

“You know what, I don’t actually know. Taeyong didn’t give me any orders beyond telling me to get you out of there.”

“How did I get myself into this mess?” I muttered under my breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Mark looked around as we continued down the hall. I could tell there was something on his mind, but I couldn’t bring myself to care what it was.  

“Hey,” He loudly called out even though I was walking right next to him.  

I gave him a quick glance before returning my gaze forward.

“What?” I asked.  

“Are you hungry?”

Before I could even think of an answer, my stomach thought of one for me.  

Mark’s laughter added to my annoyance, but I chose to stay silent.

“I know where we should go.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

“Boss, what are we planning to do?” Johnny asked following his colleagues as they journeyed down the East wing’s halls.

“Do you think that we can mislead them by giving them fake information or something?” Yuta half-asked half-suggested.

“Not an option,” Taeil chimed in.

“Exactly. If Wayv has complete access to Taeil’s laptop, then they already know that we’ve found them out. The only thing we can do now is destroy it and initiate the emergency systems.” Jaehyun stopped before looking to Taeil.

“Unless you think you’d be able do anything.”

“Sorry, boss. That’s a no go. They’re already ten steps ahead of me if they managed to hack into my computer system and if they know that we’ve discovered their presence, they’re probably working to get twenty steps ahead as we speak.”

“Then it’s settled,” Jaehyun began as he and his men turned the corner entering the kitchen.

“We’ll incinerate the laptop before we-”  

Jaehyun’s words came to a sudden halt as he found himself staring at Y/N and Mark sitting and eating on the kitchen counter.

“What do you think? I was right, huh?” Mark asked, handing me the packet of gummy candy we were sharing.  

“Hmmm. I don’t know, I kind of like the sour apple ones better than the watermelon.”

“Psh, whatever. More for me I gue- Boss!”  

I turned towards the group of men who had entered the kitchen. When my eyes landed on the man who was responsible for my wrecked state, I froze.

 “What is this?” Jaehyun demanded as he approached us.  

Despite knowing that the question was directed more towards Mark than at the both of us, I still struggled to form anything even close to resembling a coherent thought. I had just watched this man get into it with Winwin without personally feeling the slightest ounce of fear, but now his aggression was being directed towards me and Mark. I hadn’t noticed until Mark started speaking that he must have felt the same way.  

“I umm we-”  

“I instructed Mark to take Y/N to the kitchen to get her some food,” Taeyong winked.

Jaehyun turned back towards the redhead that was standing behind him.  

“Well let’s hope for your sake and theirs that they didn’t say anything of any importance while sitting only one room away from our little problem.”

“Huh? What problem?” Mark inquired more curious than fearful at this point.

Instead of answering, Jaehyun motioned for Doyoung to come closer. After whispering in his ear and pointing towards the living room, Doyoung nodded and left for the nearby room.  

“Taeil and Yuta, go catch Mark up on everything upstairs” Jaehyun ordered.  

“As for you,” Jaehyun rumbled, turning his head towards Winwin.  

“Until we know for sure what’s going on, Johnny will be tasked with staying by your side. Johnny, make sure you keep an eye on him.”

“Um. I can watch him boss,” Yuta volunteered.  

Jaehyun immediately shook his head.

“Johnny will be in charge of watching Winwin and that’s final. I need you to help Taeil explain the situation to Mark in terms that he’ll understand. Am I clear?”

“Yes, sir.” Yuta acquiesced.  

Mark hopped off the countertop and offered me up a sympathetic look before heading off with his colleagues.  

It was just us three now. I could hear my heart beating in my chest. It only made me more anxious as I feared that he could hear it too and that he might end my life just to rid himself of the bothersome sound.  

I kept my eyes glued to the floor as to not disrespect the man in front of me. I wasn’t going to risk pissing him off any more than I already had, not while my skin was still splashed with shades of blue and violet.

I could sense his stare and though I was fearful of the consequences that would arise might my eyes meet his, I couldn’t suppress my curiosity for more than a few brief moments and so I surrendered to his gaze. Though I had expected to see a look of rage, what I was met with instead was that of confusion. He looked over my body as though examining an antique he was trying to set a fair price for. It wasn’t the most objectifying look I had received. Far from it, in fact, but I couldn’t help but feel self-conscious under his scrutinizing gaze. I had no idea what was going on. Now that they found out what happened with me and Lucas, NCT 127 had no use for me anymore and Jaehyun was probably thinking of what to do with me. If he was going to kill me, wouldn’t he have done it by now? Perhaps he had something else in store for me. Was this pink haired mob boss contemplating whether I’d be profitable if he were to sell me as a sex slave?  

“Those clothes,” He growled.

I blinked a few times, waiting for him to finish his thought.

“Take them off.”  

“W-what?” I stuttered aghast.

“Boss?” Taeyong quirked, voice riddled with concern.

“I said, take them off. Now.” His voice boomed.  

My already uneven breathing quickly turned into full on hyperventilation. I looked for an exit hoping to find any way out of the mess that I was in, but it was no use. My heart was beating faster than a rabbit whose foot was caught in the teeth of a large predator. Adrenaline filled my veins, yet I was too fearful to use it. I was frozen in place, unable to think, speak, or move even an inch. The familiar sight of black dots began to dull my vision until there was nothing else to be seen.  

“Shit!” Taeyong cursed as he scrambled to my side.  

“What the hell was that?!” He shouted as he checked to make sure the fall didn’t do any serious damage.  

“Those clothes,” Jaehyun muttered bitterly. “They’re IU’s.”  

“So?! Just because you don’t like seeing someone else wear IU’s clothing doesn’t mean you can just order them to strip, Jaehyun! Do you have any idea what she must have been thinking?”

“She’s not just someone else. She’s the girl who’s involved in IU’s death.”

“No, she’s not, Jae. You saw Wayv’s message. Her story was true,” Taeyong stood up from Y/N’s side. He was practically yelling at his boss.

“You don’t know that. She could be working with them!”

Taeyong grabbed Jaehyun by the shoulders.

“Snap out of it, Jae! Stop looking at her like she’s the person who killed your sister and start seeing her for what she is, one of Lucas’ victims, just like your sister. No, actually. Scratch that. You should start thinking of her as the girl who killed the man who killed your sister because that being the case, maybe you should thank her instead of doing whatever the hell it is you think you’re doing!”

Taeyong immediately regret the words as they left his mouth, but it was too late. He braced himself for whatever reaction Jaehyun would have to his verbal lashings, but he wasn’t prepared for his boss’s lack of a reaction.  

Jaehyun scowled at his second in command before looking at the hands that still held onto his shoulders. Taeyong noticed this and immediately released his hold on the mob boss in front of him. Jaeyong continued to stare at Taeyong as he contemplated his words.

“Then what do you suppose we do with her?” He asked through gritted teeth.

Taeyong took a step back and looked down at my unconscious body.  

“She doesn’t know that much about what’s going on so letting her go wouldn’t harm us in any way, but with Wayv after her, she’s not exactly safe anywhere but here.”

Jaehyun’s eyes, which had previously been glued to Taeyong were now gazing at the figure laying on the kitchen floor. After a few moments of silence, Jaehyun sighed.

“Put her in one of the spare bedrooms while we figure this all out,” He decided, hands rubbing at his temples.  

“Yes sir.” Taeyong lifted my body off the ground in a less than graceful sweep.

“And send someone to get her some clothing. I won’t have her wearing any more of IU’s things.”  

“Yes sir.”  

[bunny-xoxo]

Bunny’s 200 follower event

request: omg hey babe i’m so excited- can i pls get one matchup from haikyuu and one from aot? whoever you think is best and not just bc you know how much i love asahi and hange lmaooo okay so i’m bisexual with a preference for females! i am an infp and a scorpio sun, leo moon, and gemini rising (and a scorpio venus 😳). i love writing and dancing! i love kpop (i know 😔), more specifically girl groups! my favorite is the group “twice” and i would prefer to be with someone who will listen to it with me! and i’m passionate about politics and playing the violin and piano! i’m rather introverted, very intuitive, very empathetic, and and i am perceptive. (literally described my mbti i’m so sorry) i am rather awkward and can appreciate a partner who is strong where i lack. i think i would like someone who is self-assured and able to assure me despite my severe social anxiety. i would also like someone i could extend my protective tendencies to, someone who would let me take care of them. i love to cook, clean, and bake (when i’m not being forced to) and would love someone who would let me do those things for them. i’m a rather physically affectionate person and i would NOT be able to be with someone who couldn’t match my energy. if they don’t enjoy physical affection i couldn’t be with them. i would appreciate someone who could understand my need for validation and offer it without being overbearing. i’m family-oriented and am determined to build a strong, healthy family with a partner who shares the same values. i would also prefer to be with someone who can appreciate my cultures since they’re pretty big parts of who i am! i am agnostic and would prefer to be in a relationship with someone not overly religious because religion makes me uncomfortable :/ i also refuse to be with someone who does not share my progressive views. if they wouldn’t be wearing their mask over their noses and refusing to eat out during a pandemic i wouldn’t even look their way. i’ve never had a serious relationship before and would prefer someone who has been in one and understands that i need time to adapt to it. as for a physical description i’m a little on the heavier side, i’m mexican-japanese, 5’5, have pretty pale skin, and extremely dark brown hair and eyes. i have a pear shaped figure and dude i have like no tits at all. i’m wearing a b-cup rn and i don’t fill it i hate it here. i tend to wear dark colors in comfortable fashion and i prefer modern/androgynous fashion. my pronouns are she/they!

a/n: omg hi bae!!! ALSO PLS THE KPOP PART WAS SO FUNNY and these guys better watch out before I match you with myself bae 😏 okok teehee pls enjoy ❣️ anon! Also omg this took 5 years I’m so sorry I don’t have internet until the 12th so using my data is a struggle 😭 okok I hope you enjoy!

Reading your request, you have been matched with...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Mikasa Ackerman

LISTEN I think y’all would genuinely make such a good couple

Any of your interests she will sit and listen to you talk to them for literal hours and want to combust cause she thinks you look so fucking cute ranting about it it’s unreal

Sometimes you do have to take breaks ranting though cause she just wants a kiss so bad but she promises she’ll let you continue after a half hour of making out LMAO

Her favorite position to listen to you rant about k-drama is with your head laying in her lap while you look up at her so she can play with your hair and still see your face, and it makes it easier to steal a forehead kiss or too

Her second favorite though is when you’re ranting about work and you get particularly frustrated so she pulls you into her chest and runs her fingers down your back and the sides of your arms while you relax

If you can’t tell I strongly HC mikasa loves physical affection

I think its just easier for her to show you how much she cares through little gestures of affection - and she’s currently obsessed with the way your eyes close when she cups your face with both hands and rubs her thumbs across your cheeks so there’s that too LMAO

Massages‼️‼️

When you’re watching a movie and you rest your legs on her lap her hands just naturally start rubbing at your legs and if you get sleepy she just leans over and gives you a kiss on the cheek and carries you to bed and is so <3333333

Ok but she loves when she’s laying between your legs and her head rests on your chest and you play with her hair, like she’s out 5 minutes TOPS and she does drool a little but it’s ok cause she’s cute

Whenever you play the violin or piano in front of her she’s just so 😍😍😍like she will happily sit and watch you practice for hours cause she just loves how pretty you sound and how she can just feel your passion through the way you’re playing

Ok at first I think she’d have a hard time understanding why you take care of her like she’d come home and you’d have dinner already made and she’d just be 🧍🏻‍♀️...... w-what do you want from me LMAO

But I feel like she’d get use to it really fast and always appreciate the things you do for her

Now her heart gets so warm when she comes home and smells dryer sheets cause you did the laundry already, or if she hears the you blasting music she knows she’s probably gonna find you in the kitchen cooking dinner

Ok but Mikasa leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed and she’s just smirking and staring at you cook until you notice she’s there?

🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️ WHew

Omg she loves being your little taste tester while you cook and will sometimes just wait around the kitchen like 😶 until you offer her a bite and then she acts all surprised like 😯🤭 I mean ok 🤗

Ok ms quiet feet loves scaring you sorry LMAO

BUT ITS NEVER IN A teehee GOT YOU WAY

She just knows she walks quiet and she loves when she walks into a room you’re already in and you jump a little and clutch your chest she just thinks it’s the cutest thing ever

She’s one of the most appreciative people of you and adores everything about you 🖤🖤

Your vibe reminds me of...

Another suitable match for you would be...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Iwaizumi Hajime

No cause LISTEN

THis man sees you and his knees are WEAK

Idk what it is but I just know that you’re his type like

Smth about your androgynous dark fashion catches his eye

Like he deadass watches walk across whatever room you’re in like 👁👄👁 and it’s so obvious too and you’re sweating like 👀 what’s this mf WANT

And he’s a bold mf too

Straight up just goes up to you and asks for your number yes he’s getting really sweaty and definitely is stuttering and walks away feeling 🥴

But when you text him back he is so !!!!!

Okok onto the relationship sheesh

He is so patient and understanding with you it’s unreal

The type mf to make you think like,,, damn people like this exist?

The first date y’all go on he even asks if you’re ok with him holding your hand and when you say yes he literally smiles and goes “cool :)” and his hands are so warm and big compared to yours and he keeps your hand for most of the date after that lolol

Ok but listen

Y’all went to Walmart once to get some much needed groceries and this old guy wasn’t wearing his mask right, like it wasn’t covering his nose, and iwa just s t a r e d at him like 🧍🏻

And when the guy was like ???

He went “I’m just trying to figure out how stupid you must be to not know masks cover your nose, too. 😐.”

You had to get Iwa out of the aisle before he almost got into a literal physical altercation with an elderly man LMAO

But He was like :/ I’m sorry I was dramatic inside I just didn’t like it :/ once you got in the car and he was embarrassed so much for saying something to the guy ajsksdjwij

He lets you blast whatever you want on the aux when y’all are driving even if he hates what you’re playing 😭 and he would NEVER be caught dead admitting he doesn’t like what you’re playing cause you like it so much but sometimes a song comes on and he just shoots you a side look like 👀 oh nice nice LMAO

You made him breakfast once and he cried

Like he came out and you were dishing up his plate and he just went 😐😖🥲 t-thanks

He denies it to this day though

He lovvveesss making dinner with you

It’s his perfect destresser after a bad day :(((

He loves it when you fall asleep on him too like he naps with you on accident all the time cause he’s just so big and warm and when you fall asleep on him he gets so lovey and cozy that he just dozes off and at this point he just doesn’t care about his sleep schedule anymore 😭

He’s your big ol cuddle bug :)

Your vibe reminds me of...

ongomgomg im sorry this took so long 😭 I hope you like your pairings and I can’t wait to hear from you 🥺🤲🏼

And to everyone else waiting I’m finally able to start writing again but I still won’t have internet for almost another week so they might be pushed out slowly but I’m going as fast as I can 😭❣️

Love y’all!

-🐇out

[mistabullets]

Hi! If you’re still doing the NSFW alphabet, could you please do the whole alphabet with Risotto? Tysm and i hope you’re doing ok!

Not SFW under cut ;

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Risotto knows how to clean you up and check for any wounds. But he’s lacking when it comes to the cuddle department but that’s okay, you know he’s a busy man and that it’s only reserved for more intimate moments. He’ll still card your hair with his fingers while he’s busy with the paperwork or making the last phone calls of the evening.

B = Body Part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Risotto doesn’t necessarily care about his body, just as long he’s in shape. However, he does think his partner is a beauty and often finds himself quietly admiring your hips and thighs. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He does like giving creampies despite the risk of doing so and potentially getting his partner pregnant. Risotto doesn’t want children but he does want to mark his partner in every shape and form. That includes filling them with his semen, in every hole possible. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

With your consent, he would love to use his invisibility technique, sneak up on his unsuspecting partner, and proceed to ravish them. He would never act out on the fantasy without a clear yes from his partner. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Risotto has been involved with the mafia and crime for so long... so he’s definitely lacking in experience in the more romantic aspect. However, he has had his flings of prostitutes Passione has provided him and his team to use for... pent up energy and aggression. Also, this man has not been afraid to kidnap women and use them for bait in quite degrading ways.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Here’s a few: x, x, x, and x. Probably going to aim for not-as-deep penetration since he’s a bit bigger than the usual man. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

A hitman who is constantly at risk and is brewing some anger deep within... be humorous with his partner? No, Risotto is usually getting straight to business unless you are someone he has grown to love and trust. But expect to never see your boyfriend put his guard down during sex. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s shaven down there. His pubic hair doesn’t exactly match the color on the top of his head though. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Risotto has never knew what a healthy and romantic relationship was. Even if he’s trying to be more romantic, he’s going to have a hard time expressing it. But he will later you know how wonderful you’re doing, albeit there’s going to a bit of degradation on his end. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Honestly, Risotto hardly feels the need to masturbate. With or without a partner, he’ll most likely jack off once a week, maybe once every two weeks depending on how busy he it is. But when he masturbates, he needs to cum three times... at the very least. 

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Aspects of BDSM really gets him going. Risotto is fond of the idea of body worship, sensation play, bondage, you name it. However, if you trust him enough, he really likes using Metallica for knife play and blood play. It just so endearing to see how much trust you have in him.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He likes to do it in his office, somewhere on his desk or on his couch. And he could quite frankly, give two shits if someone like Pesci or Melone walked in on him and his partner going at it. Risotto is a busy man after all. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you absolutely surrender and beg for his cock, after being teased relentlessly. Also enjoys more subtle gestures, like you stroking his thighs and placing your head on his lap, near his groin. 

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Definitely sharing you with other members of La Squadra. He doesn’t mind if they look and admire but if they touch you, he’ll be angry. 

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Risotto likes either. There is something so innately powerful about having his partner go down on him and try to fit their mouth around his girth. But there’s something so awarding about going down on you and rendering you a moaning and squirming mess with just his mouth and tongue. 

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

If you’re going to be with Risotto, don’t expect him to offer you slow, sensual, and romantic sex. He’s going claim you, rip off your clothes, litter your bodies with bites, and absolutely have his way with you. Of course, if you’re someone dear to him, he might slow down his brutal pace... but expect him to not follow through and pick back up his pace when chasing his climax. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s not a fan of quickies. Much rather take his sweet time with his partner and have them thoroughly come undone... which can turn into hours. Quickies are not enough to suffice his hunger. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

When you’re in the mafia, you become used to the word risk and being able to take risks. Risotto is definitely willing to take risks to spice up his sex life, sometimes teetering on dangerous, especially if his stand is involved. 

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Oh, he can usually last four to five rounds, which usually takes around three hours. Risotto has a lot of pent up energy for you. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Of course he has toys. He has multiple vibrators and ropes to use against his partner, especially if he’s wanting to punish them and torture them, in the best kind of way. Also has some toys he uses on himself but he’ll never ask his partner for any assistance (unless they are close). 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh, he’s very unfair. The idea of tying you up to the bedpost and stuffing you full of dildos and vibrators, for a couple hours sounds amazing. He’ll make sure to steal away your orgasms and make you beg for his cock. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Risotto is not that loud when it comes to sex. Sure, he’ll make a few grunts and growls... but most of the noise he makes is when he’s degrading you, asking how desperate you are for his cock. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

If he ever finds a partner that is patient and willing to be with him, Risotto does crave some semblance of normalcy. He always had dreams of marrying a good spouse, having a couple of children, and maybe, if Passione allows for it, settling down on the countryside of Italy or some unknown European country with a low population. He values family, blood or chosen. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

The hitman is a good seven even inches with a girth of about five inches. He was circumcised at birth and he has a burning red tip. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is pretty high, having a bunch of pent up energy. He’ll usually bottle it up and let it explode, calling for an intense night of fucking. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Risotto has to get some paperwork done along with a few phone calls before he can allow himself the bliss of sleep. Sometimes it only takes thirty minutes but there has been some nights where he stayed up for three hours. On rare moments where he’s done all of responsibilities, he’ll attempt to embrace you in his warmth. He does need some human contact after all. 

[lady-divine-writes]

ACITW AU one-shot “Hidden Talents” (Rated PG13)

Summary: After the stress and pressure of wedding planning drives them out of the city, Kurt and Sebastian hide out in Sebastian's old room. Kurt starts cleaning Sebastian's closet while Sebastian flips through old yearbooks, being of no help whatsoever. While weeding through Sebastian's collection of clothes and shoes, Kurt stumbles upon something he'd never thought he'd find in a million years - Sebastian's long lost violin. (4613 words)

Notes: So, we all remember that in ACITW Sebastian plays the violin, that Julian claimed he was really good at it, and could have probably done something with it? Then it just never gets mentioned, not even once by Sebastian's parents, which leads me to believe there's a reason. This one-shot explores that reason, and whether or not Sebastian is really as proficient as his brother claims.

Part of ACITW AU

Read on AO3

“Donate or keep?” Kurt asks, holding up a fitted Marc Jacobs polo, fashionable despite its age. Then again, polo shirts are the standard, and designer never goes out of style. Like a fine wine, it matures, even if the shirt’s owner - sitting cross-legged on his bed, chuckling over photos in an old yearbook - has managed to remain perpetually sixteen.

His sense of humor pinging at a solid age twelve.

“Jeff, you bastard!” Sebastian snorts, flipping off a photo that Kurt can’t see from where he’s standing. Sebastian finds a block of sloppy text at the bottom right corner and runs a fingertip over it. He reads the slanted script, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, gatekeeper of another undignified snort. “Fuck, I miss you, man! See you at the wedding.”

Kurt clears his throat, aggravated by the amount he keeps losing Sebastian’s attention, but he can’t help smiling either. They don’t reminisce about high school often - too many mines left undetonated in those fields. But it’s nice to see Sebastian like this, especially considering the current stress they’re both under - a stress that’s driven them from their penthouse in the city back home to Westerville for the next few weeks.

Unfortunately, retreating to this sanctuary of family and nostalgia has caused that stress to amplify tenfold.

“Sebastian,” Kurt sings when even his most dramatic throat clearing doesn’t do the trick. “Oh, Sebastian. Eyes up here, please.”

Sebastian’s head snaps Kurt’s way, his brow pinched as if he only now remembered that Kurt is in the room with him, and that they have a job to do. “What?”

“Donate,” Kurt repeats in a syrupy tone (more like pine tar as opposed to maple - thicker, darker, more bitter), shaking the navy blue shirt on its hanger for emphasis, “or keep?”

“Keep,” Sebastian decides in an instant, then returns to his yearbook, snickering at another picture on the same page.

“Good,” Kurt murmurs, setting the polo aside. I intend on borrowing that one, he thinks, finding the silver lining since he’s the only one of the two of them taking this task seriously. He rifles through the closet and pulls out another shirt, one less style-savvy than the polo. That’s okay. At this point, it can be deemed retro. Regardless, Kurt has no intention of borrowing it. “How about this one? Donate or keep?”

Sebastian’s eyes flutter up from the page, barely focusing on the shirt before returning to the book in his lap. “Keep.”

Kurt rolls his eyes as he lays this shirt over the polo. He’d really hoped this one would end up in the donate box. If they hold on to it, there’s a chance Sebastian might actually decide to wear it, which puts the burden on Kurt to come up with something for himself that matches (provided they don’t want to run the risk of blinding anyone).

Kurt didn’t fall in love with Sebastian for his taste in clothes, which, to be fair, is decent - long lines; primary colors; simple, clean-cut elegance that pairs well with Kurt’s bolder, more adventurous choices. Sebastian can be quite the fashion plate himself when he has a mind to, one rogue t-shirt notwithstanding.

He lets Kurt style him more times than not so Kurt can’t complain.

Kurt goes back to the closet and selects a pair of shorts he knows don’t fit Sebastian anymore. They’re from Sebastian’s lacrosse days, when his thighs were bulkier, his glutes rounder. Not that Sebastian doesn’t have a gorgeous body now. His fitness regimen is impressive, even by Kurt’s standards. But spending hours on end running up and down a grass field does wonders for the buns and thighs.  

Kurt doesn’t want to banish everything from Sebastian’s Dalton days. Sebastian’s lacrosse uniforms were the first things Kurt slipped into the keep box without asking his say so. But these tan shorts are atrocious! He’s glad that after an hour of this, they’ll finally have a submission to the donate box, which has collected only dust so far along with one lonely copy of Mein Kampf - a relic from senior year AP European History.

“Donate or keep?” Kurt asks, dangling the garment presumptively over the donation box.

Sebastian glances at it, tilting his head and giving the matter a soupcon of thought. “Donate.”

Kurt removes the shorts from their clips with a sigh of relief. Finally! he thinks. Now we’re getting somewhere! But before he has the chance to drop them in, Sebastian recants (without looking up). “No, keep. Keep.”

“What!” Kurt stares at Sebastian, mouth agape. “Why? These don’t even fit you!”

“Are they too big or too small?”

“Too big! Plus, they’re cargo shorts, Sebastian! Cargo shorts!”

“They’ll be good for layering.”

Kurt’s eyes go buggy and wide. Sebastian hasn’t peeked, but he grins knowing what Kurt must look like right now, that vein in his head that throbs when he gets upset ready to burst. “When in the world would you need to layer shorts!?”

“I dunno,” Sebastian mumbles, eyes glued to a new page.  

Kurt growls, slamming the offensive item into the overflowing keep box, which might as well be labeled the Why are we wasting our time here? box. “Are you planning on getting rid of anything?”

“Uh …” Sebastian looks up and around. “Yes. That burrito wrapper over there.” He points to the corner of his desk where the trash from their lunch had been unceremoniously abandoned in favor of this. “That definitely needs to go.”

“Ha ha,” Kurt says, reluctantly cleaning up the mess. He objects to playing maid in his fiance’s old bedroom, but since he’s not currently doing anything of value, he grabs the stiff paper wrapper and crumples it in his hands - no, strangles it, using it as a stand-in for Sebastian’s neck. Sebastian turns to the next page, but looks up when he hears the wrapper succumb to Kurt’s crushing fingers.

“Oh, wait! I don’t think I finished …” Sebastian gestures repeatedly at the wadded wrapper, unable to think of a suitable end to his sentence, his brain sandwiched between curbing Kurt’s annoyance and processing the sentiments on the page without them bringing a tear to his eye. People say that if high school was one of the best times in your life, you were probably a privileged asshole. Well, he was. And it was … mostly. “I may want to hold on to that a little while longer.”

“Why!?”

“Dunno.”

“What the---!?” Kurt slams the balled up wrapper down with an irritated yawp. “Cleaning out your closet was your idea you know!”

“Oh contraire,” Sebastian retorts with maddening superiority. “All I said was that I may want to siphon out a few things while I’m here. You’re the one who came up with the brilliant idea of paring down my things and donating them to charity.”

“And why not? What good does any of this stuff do just sitting here in this closet? It’s not like you’re planning on moving any of it to our place and wearing it!”

“True, but if I get rid of it, what would my mother have in her later years to rummage through sentimentally, hold to her cheek and sigh when she misses me?”

Kurt shakes his head slowly, unamused on Charlotte’s behalf. “That’s just … horrible. Like the plot of a bad Hallmark Christmas movie.”

“There are good Hallmark Christmas movies? I sure as hell never seen one.”

“Hmph. And you say I watch too many cheesy chick flicks.”

“You do, but that’s entirely beside the point.”

“You’ve got tons of clothes here you don’t use,” Kurt presses with renewed vigor. “It wouldn’t hurt to get rid of some of it, make someone else’s day brighter by giving them the opportunity to purchase name brands for a bargain. I know that always cheers me up.”

“Weren’t you the one telling me that as much as you love Marie Kondo, closet purging is overwhelming the charity industry, and that most of the stuff we donate ends up on barges traveling the world, bouncing from port to port until they inevitably sink into the sea and devastate the aquatic ecosystem?”

“Yes, but at the time you were trying to get me to trim down my Jimmy Choo collection.”

“Because no one in their right mind needs eighty-six pairs of the same patent leather loafer, Kurt!”

Kurt tuts sharply. “It’s like you don’t even know me.”

“I do know you! That’s how I knew that if I came out against your plan, you’d get loud and yell-y! That’s what I was trying to avoid! I only went along with it because …“ Sebastian’s sentence cuts off when he clamps his jaw shut with a clack that shoots straight up Kurt’s spine. If Sebastian’s tongue had been anywhere near his teeth, part of it would have been chomped clean off.

“Because what?” Kurt asks, sore at being accused of acting ‘yell-y’ - a stone’s throw too close to ‘groomzilla’, which they’ve both accused one another of too many times in the last three months to count.

Sebastian sighs, rearranges his legs on the bed so that they’re spread and not twisted like a pretzel. “Asking you up here was an excuse to get you alone for five frickin’ minutes. We’ve been swamped since the second we got here! We left the city to escape your friends and my friends and the wedding planner’s incessant phone calls. But my mom and Olivia took over where everyone else left off.”

“They’re just excited for us,” Kurt says soothingly, not admitting yet that he knows exactly how Sebastian feels.

“I realize that. And I’m glad they’re excited but …” Sebastian thumbs the edges of the pages he has yet to read, watches them fall beneath his hand one by one “… who knew that deciding to get married would mean never getting a moment’s peace?”

“I guess they figure we’ll get enough of that after we’re married.”

“Then they don’t know us very well, do they?” Sebastian scoffs, venom lacing his words, so palpable it gives Kurt a rash.

Ever since Kurt moved up the ranks from Flying Monkey in the cast of Wicked to the more coveted role of Fiyero, he’s been in higher demand, and thus, less available. Even to Sebastian.

Kurt has dreamed of planning his own wedding for years. He’d started an idea book along the way, cutting out photographs from bridal magazines and gluing them into the pages, creating palettes and themes depending on current trends, potential venues, and time of year. But with both Kurt’s and Sebastian’s schedules so hectic, they had to weigh the importance of Kurt planning their wedding against the probability of them marrying before the turn of the century.

Getting married won, but only by a slim margin.

They hired the best wedding planner in the city, recommended by everyone in their tax bracket, whose artistic vision matched Kurt’s nearly beat by beat (according to the pictures on her website of ceremonies she’d helped bring to fruition). To Sebastian’s naive mind, that meant they would leave everything in her capable hands while they went on with their lives, drop in for the occasional consultation to check that the roses she chose suit Kurt’s vision or that the place settings have the right number of candles in them.

But Kurt literally hated everything their planner came up with.

So they’ve had to be present for every second of their wedding’s creation to ensure they’ll get the chance to celebrate the way they want.

They’re paying someone else thousands of dollars for Kurt to plan their wedding anyway.

The irony is staggering.

To that end, they’re having two weddings - one for their New York friends and associates, and a second intimate ceremony for their Ohio family.

Sebastian knew from go that Kurt’s pack of female friends from high school would descend upon them and monopolize Kurt’s time with the obligatory brunches and showers, which was understandable and therefore forgivable. What Sebastian didn’t factor in was the amount in which the theater company would use Kurt’s engagement as a PR instrument, slipping it into every interview, at every opportunity how one of their leading male cast members is months away from wedding his wealthy boyfriend, playing the whole thing up as some sort of fairy tale (with the term ‘fairy’ vaguely but constantly applied).

Broadway’s full of gays, remember! And this one’s gettin’ hitched!

Sebastian thought the whole thing vulgar but he didn’t sweat it … not until the side-effects of that exploitation began to bleed in to their every day lives.

Namely the celebrity.

Sebastian is accustomed to having eyes on him. He’s a handsome man and he knows it. He’s used his charm and his checkbook to open doors that weren’t already propped for his arrival his entire life. What he wasn’t used to was the sheer amount of eyes that would follow him everywhere. Letters addressed to Kurt showed up at his office. Paparazzi camped out on their doorstep. Admirers stopped him on the street to ask him every manner of question.

And Kurt’s fans knew no shame.

An unsolicited tide of attention chased them back home, along with an utter lack of privacy because everybody knows.

Everybody.

Even out here in backwater Ohio.

Checkers at the supermarket, cashiers at Target, the guy filling up the tanks at the gas station down the block, pretty much every single person they’ve come in contact with has congratulated them on their wedding.

How people found out Kurt and Sebastian had gone to Ohio, Sebastian has no idea. They left in the middle of the night and drove so they wouldn’t have to fuss with tickets. No one needed to be informed because time off for both of them had been arranged ahead of time. But someone found out they’d left early, and that person told because they’ve received everything from gift baskets to magnums of champagne at both the Smythe estate and Kurt’s father’s home.

The (now mildly - because that’s considered progress) homophobic country club that refused to let Kurt and Sebastian take dance lessons as a couple had the nerve to call and congratulate Greg and Charlotte on their son’s upcoming nuptials, offering them use of their main ballroom for the wedding, the reception, any accompanying shindigs they had planned - the same ballroom that hosted both Presidents Reagan and Carter during their administrations (they mentioned more than twice).

Olivia happened to be at the house the day they called, so Charlotte gave her the honor of the telling them where they could shove their offer.

It made Olivia’s day.

“If you’d told me from the beginning that you wanted to get me alone,” Kurt says, arching a suggestive eyebrow, “we’d be on your bed making out instead of doing mindless busywork on opposite ends of the room.”

“Ooo. Sounds like a plan,” Sebastian says, throwing Kurt a wink … then goes back to his yearbook, finger raised in a pause gesture. “Just … give me … one second.”

Kurt crosses his arms over his chest and huffs. “Wow. That’s just … that’s just … wow. Thanks a lump.” Ego bruised, he turns back to the closet. He pushes the clothes aside, giving up on that front for a while, and tackles the floor. He smirks when he sees Sebastian’s shoes, stored in their boxes, lined up in rows and stacked three deep. If he knows his fiance, the majority of them are boat shoes, each in the exact same style but different colors.

Make fun of me for my eighty-six pairs of loafers, will you?

He reaches for the topmost box but gets distracted when his hand brushes something hard and canvas leaning against the wall. Kurt steps aside to let more light in since the object blends in with the shadows. Kurt gets a good look at it, realizes what it is, and his heart stutters in his chest.

“Oh my …” He grabs hold of the handle and tugs it out gently. “So here it is. The fabled violin.”

That succeeds in getting Sebastian’s attention. His eyes light up when he sees Kurt approach carrying the case in his arms. Kurt hands the violin case over and Sebastian takes it, bringing it to him like a sacred artifact from his own past - one he thought he’d never lay eyes on again.

“It’s been forever,” Sebastian gasps. “I forgot I put it in this closet. I thought my mother had it.”

“Why did you give it up?” Kurt asks, watching Sebastian open the case to reveal the sublime instrument, wood polished and gleaming, appearing deceptively brand new with the exception of a few tells that speak to how much Sebastian played it - light-colored wear on the fretboard, a cloudiness to the finish on the chin rest, scratches here and there on the veneer.

“It’s just one of those things that faded from my life, stopped bringing me joy … about the same time everything else did.”

“Do you think you’d ever play it again?”

“Possibly.” Sebastian removes the violin from its case and holds it lengthwise in front of his eyes, examining it from end to end. “I mean, it’s been a dog’s age. I’m not sure I’d be any good at it.”

“Any chance it’s like riding a bike and you never forget?”

“Only one way to find out.” Sebastian plucks the strings in succession and smiles. It doesn’t sound too far off pitch to Kurt. Sebastian adjusts the strings, checking them against one another to make sure they’re in tune. Then he removes the bow from its resting place and tightens it. “Don’t rag on me too hard if I completely suck at this.”

“I won’t,” Kurt says. “I promise. I’ll just, you know, bring it up subtly at special occasions and bank holidays, maybe find a way to fit it into my toast at the wedding.”

“I’m holding you to that.” Sebastian rosins up his bow. He fits the violin underneath his chin. From the second it touches his skin, his attitude changes. He simultaneously tenses and relaxes, reminiscent of the way he behaved during their first sushi date, when he dropped eel and flecked soy sauce all over Kurt’s clothes. Kurt refrains from laughing at the memory. He doesn’t want Sebastian to think he’s laughing at him. But he can’t help smiling. Yes, their past is riddled with landmines, but the memories hidden in the flat, stable ground between never cease to make him glad.

Glad that he and Sebastian got together in the end.

Sebastian runs the bow experimentally over the strings, the sound it produces warm and rich, like hot Godiva cocoa on a cold, rainy day. Sebastian leans into that tone as he runs through scales, drawing end notes out a full four beats before launching into the next set. The quickness in which he picks it up takes Kurt’s breath away.

If Kurt was thinking of making fun of Sebastian for anything, he surely isn’t now.

“Why don’t we start with a classic, hmm?” Sebastian suggests, cheeks starting to pink from the look of open and unabashed awe on Kurt’s face.

“Where do you want to start? Bach? Beethoven?”

“I think …” Sebastian sits up taller, corrects his posture “… Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.”

“Are you sure?” Kurt teases, but with less snark than usual. “I wouldn’t want you to set yourself up to fail or anything.”

“It’s good to go back to the basics. Limber up the old chops, so to speak.”

“Are they still chops if you’re talking about your fingers?”

“Don’t know,” Sebastian says with a shrug. “I didn’t invent it.”

Kurt settles in comfortably on the bed as he waits for Sebastian to pull something mid-range from his bag of tricks, like Minuet in G, a piece that millions of children have hammered out on innocent instruments since learning the recorder in middle school became mandatory. But true to his word, Sebastian starts with Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, picking the notes on the strings with his forefinger. But one verse in, he puts the bow to the strings, and starts a whole other story.

Kurt had expected Sebastian to be rusty, suffer a few false starts before he got into the swing of things. Scales are one thing. They follow a predictable pattern. It’s fairly simple to keep them smooth. But Sebastian sounds like he put his violin down for the last time yesterday. Kurt almost stops him to accuse him of having a secret violin hidden somewhere that he’s been practicing on this entire time, probably at his office where Kurt wouldn’t see. He considers pulling out his phone and texting Sebastian’s secretary, interrogating her to see if she’ll spill about any mid-afternoon practice sessions when the partners were out at lunch.

Though, in this particular instance, Kurt doesn’t know if Sebastian is more likely to hide his tremendous talent or rub it in his face.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star ends and Sebastian melds it into a classical melody, one Kurt can’t name off-hand though he knows he’s heard it before. It’s slow, romantic - the kind of piece a director would use to cap off the credits on a bittersweet rom-com, one where the tragic heroine, diagnosed with a withering variety of late-stage cancer, dies after the love of her life proposes.

It’s sad.

So incredibly sad.

That sadness lingers in the air after the notes dissolve, becomes stronger, more powerful with every sway of Sebastian’s body. He’d closed his eyelids when this piece started and he’s fallen into the sadness, let it envelope him.

It’s become a part of him. Maybe it’s always been a part of him and he’s just now letting it out for Kurt to see.

Or he never intended on Kurt seeing it, and this is simply an accident.

Whatever it is, Sebastian finally notices it because he switches, keeps the same key but changes the song, seamlessly transforming into something more contemporary, slightly more upbeat.

Kurt’s heart stops when he realizes the song Sebastian is playing is from Wicked. Not only that, it’s a song Kurt sings as Fiyero.

As Long as You’re Mine.

Sebastian has never, to Kurt’s knowledge, played that song on the violin or any instrument, has never sung that song himself, hasn’t seen the sheet music. He’s heard Kurt sing it over and over, practicing it in their bathroom until the tile could sing it back to him. But now he’s playing it on an instrument he hasn’t picked up in decades.

Kurt swallows hard, heart swollen with pride but his chest hollow with jealousy.

That’s talent. True talent.

Even Blaine might not be that talented.

Kurt would kill for that kind of talent.

Years they’ve been together, they’re about to get married, and Kurt thought he knew everything there is to know about this man. But Sebastian is still such an enigma. What is Kurt going to learn in another ten years? After twenty?

On the one hand, it’s daunting the way these secrets pop up out of nowhere.

But more than that, Kurt is excited to find out.

Sebastian plays through the first verse again when the song ends, a twinkle in his eyes trying to coax Kurt into singing it while he plays. Sebastian plays with such emotion that, even though Kurt would love to duet with him, he can’t bring himself to - too transfixed to make his mouth move, or even hum the tune. But he hears the words in his head, hears their meaning ring in his ears. He’s never paid too much attention to the words outside of what they mean in the musical. Now he’s hearing them, understanding them, for a different reason all together:

Kiss me too fiercely Hold me too tight I need help believing You're with me tonight My wildest dreamings Could not foresee Lying beside you With you wanting me

Sebastian ends not on a note of completion, but open-ended, with the promise of more.

Longing for more.

“Julian was right,” Kurt says, clearing his heart from his throat.

“He’ll be ecstatic to hear that,” Sebastian teases, casually shelving the emotions his violin brought to the surface.

“You do play beautifully. You should have gone to NYADA.”

“That’s … that’s very kind of you, babe,” Sebastian says, flashing a rare shy smile, knowing how great a compliment that is coming from Kurt, how much NYADA has meant to him. “But being good at the violin and being a musician are two completely different things. And I’m not a musician. Or a performer. Not like you. I enjoy it … I definitely enjoy that you enjoy it … but it’s not in my blood. I mean, obviously, seeing as I could put this violin down for so long and not even think about it, hmm?”

Kurt wonders about that after Sebastian says it. It’s easy to believe considering Kurt found out about Sebastian’s playing not from Sebastian but from Julian (the night he devised a plan to break the two of them out of dance lessons no less). Other than that, he can’t remember for the life of him either brother bringing it up again. Even Charlotte, who praises in excess everything her children have accomplished, has never brought it up, not even to say that she misses it. The way Sebastian holds the violin to his chest reminds Kurt of the way Blaine held his favorite guitar - as if it, and not Kurt, were his soulmate. As with so many things in Sebastian’s past, Kurt suspects there’s a bigger story surrounding this violin and why he stopped playing it than he’s putting on.

It had faded from his life, he’d said. Stop bringing him joy about the same time everything else did.

The same time things went south with Julian and Sebastian moved away, which would explain why it seems to have been erased from family history.

“So what do you think? Donate?” Sebastian asks with a surreptitious sniffle. He doesn’t let go of the violin, doesn’t return it to its case. On the contrary, he seems to hug it tighter. “Maybe to one of those inner city performing arts programs you love to volunteer for so much?”

“No! Keep! A definite keep!” Kurt gushes. “Maybe you can put it down and never play it again, but now that I’ve heard you, I don’t think I can exist without your playing in my life!”

“But I thought you said I was keeping too much stuff.”

“Meh,” Kurt dismisses with a wave, done with the whole concept of cleaning Sebastian’s closet anyhow. “What’s too much stuff when you can fit half of Central Park in your penthouse? Plus, I have to think of your mother, right? Wasting away in this run-down, rickety shack with nothing at all to remind her of her youngest son? Especially not the thousands of photos and videos she’s taken over the years.”

Sebastian looks at Kurt through long eyelashes, a wicked streak creeping into his smile, turning it into a full-fledged smirk. “I guess we could always switch out some of my old lacrosse uniforms for it.”

“What?” Kurt sits up straight, the color draining from his face. He knew Sebastian would find out about that eventually (on their honeymoon, if not sooner), but he didn’t think he’d caught him when he did it. “No! No, no, no reason to do that. Who says I even … uh … weren’t we going to make out?”

[claraxbarton]

MCU Bucky Barnes

So here’s the thing.

I’m a costume designer by trade, and one thing that I actually really love about Captain America: The Winter Soldier (okay, among the things I love) is the costume design and the rhetorical value given to the clothes and, well, costumes in this movie. 

For example - when Sam and Steve have their heart to heart on the bridge that ends with Sam saying “but he doesn’t even know you” and Steve saying “he will” before going to steal his old uniform - the one Bucky last saw him in when he was Bucky. There are some other great costume points in this movie, actually a LOT of them (costumes, not wigs, don’t at me because I KNOW).

But one thing that has always stood out to me, and not in a good way, is the “I’m with you til the end of the line” flashback.

Now, here’s the thing, it’s not JUST about the clothes. We’re in MCU verse, so it’s MCU canon - obviously, the Steve and Bucky duo is drastically different in Marvel comics canon so - and Bucky starts this scene by saying his folks wanted to give Steve a ride to the cemetery.

Which is super cool and nice. So one, we know Bucky’s dad is still alive - and his mom, but two, we know they have a car.

So this is supposed to be when Steve is around 16? So it’s... 1936 (according to MCU wiki it totally is)

So cars.

Crazy popular ever since they started having closed bodies and all that. BUT, were they crazy popular in CITIES in 1936? Especially in the middle of the Great Depression?

There’s some evidence that actually no, that car ownership in a city like NYC was something like 1 car per every 43 people. Then again, looking at the NYC.gov 2015 Mobility Report we see that the population of NYC in 1936 is something like 7.2 million, and the number of registered vehicles in 764,000... or roughly one per every 9.4-ish persons. Which is a pretty drastically different number. This doesn't, of course, account for taxis or fleet cars being registered - so the number might seem inflated. I still think it’s probably something closer to 1 car per every 20 than every 43 but... I’m too lazy to dig that much deeper at the moment. Plus I'm sick, which is fueling this in the first place.

So, anyway you slice it, Bucky’s family was in 11%, 5% or 2.33% of New Yorkers who own cars in 1936. Which says something, I think, about Bucky Barnes that we don’t always - ever? - think of in fandom.

I’m not going to say that Bucky Barnes was loaded. Maybe his family owned a garage or a grocery store or a delivery service or a funeral home...?? or something. So, the vehicle could be occupational as opposed to private usage - but either way it’s a statement. Bucky’s family has money and/or Bucky’s family has steady employment.

I’ve been there. I’ve read the fics where Bucky works at the docks to put Steve through art school and get him his medicine. I love those fics. I love that head canon.

But I... don’t think it’s realistic in light of some evidence showing us that, actually, Bucky wasn’t doing too badly for himself.

Let’s now actually look at CLOTHING. Here’s the whole scene via youtube, if you want to follow along with what is about to get RIDICULOUS.

Actually, before I dive in, who is the costumer for this movie? And should I be like... reading into all this as much as I am?

Judianna Makovsky - fellow New Jersey..Ian?ite?no clue - 3 time Oscar nominee and designer of 5 MCU films and a lot of other big budget movies, including quite a few period pieces dealing with issues of race and class (The Legend of Bagger Vance, Seabiscuit, The Little Princess.. and also like Harry Potter and The Quick and the The Dead.) So, should I have some faith in Judianna Makovsky’s designs? I’m gonna go with yeah, yeah I should. 

So, back to the movie. The scene.

This is post funeral. We’re in 1936. As a general rule, the dress, colors and style of mourning wear was pretty much formalized in the early Victorian era. There was a great - read PHENOMENAL - exhibit at the MET a few years back on Mourning-wear and I’m still reeling from how lovely everything was - but the gist of it is this: you wore black when someone died. If you were a lady, and especially if you were a rich lady, you then went through a few different colors (dull black to SHINY black to purple/mauve and gray and white and then back to color within six months to one year). By the 1930s only the really rich were sticking to the actual rules of mourning - or like, really old people. And, of course, really old rich people. Really old rich WHITE people. Because it needs to be said: these are WHITE customs. I'm not saying people of other ethnicities didn’t follow them, but these are basically British Victorian practices that were assimilated into American culture.

I’m not going to go off on a huge sidebar about American fashion following in French dressmaking and British tailoring, but I need to say at least that much. Everyone who was anyone knew you got your dresses made in France or in the French style and you got your suits made in England - Savile Row in specific. I am NOT implying Bucky’s got himself an English suit, fyi. I just... have to be thorough.

BACK TO THE SCENE:

We’ve got our boy Steve. STEVE. Who just buried Sarah Rogers and what is he wearing...?

For starters, he’s wearing a windbreaker, check out the 1933 ad below, he’s the guy almost giving us the Fonz finger gesture, or maybe guy in the fedora on the end.

This thing isn’t falling apart at the seams, but it’s a very nondescript not really gray, not really blue - maybe was at one point. It also doesn’t FIT Steve. It also, in the ad above, would cost about $165.40 in today’s money.

My guess? It’s Bucky’s old windbreaker. Because it’s not cheap and because it’s just a bit too big on Steve. 

He’s also wearing a shirt that is maybe tan? And a brown tie and maybe - MAYBE black trousers. And if those trousers are black, it’s the only black thing he’s wearing. Not even a black tie, or a black arm band (which I’m pretty sure - but also pretty aggressively atheist so I don’t know - the Catholic Church would have provided for chief mourners and pall bearers right?). We also have our depressing as all shit Depression surroundings to clue us in: Steve Rogers ain’t loaded. Steve Rogers is poor as dirt. Side note: boys. Hiding a key under the ONE FUCKING BRICK on a walkway is not like... a smart idea???

So we can guess a few things here, we can guess that Steve and Sarah were really struggling - this checks out with the rest of MCU canon (wearing newspapers stuffed in his shoes, even when he had nothing he had Bucky, etc.) - and that all money probably went towards Steve’s numerous ailments, food and then the TB medication or treatment, as it was, that was available to Sarah.

We can maybe guess that Steve and Sarah weren’t very religious -but I don’t feel qualified to impart anything except my own agenda here so I’m not taking that stance. But like, real talk, not even an arm band?? 

But, well, let’s move on to the point of this whole long ass thing anyway?

--

Then we go to Mr. Barnes, looking dapper AF. Also, hey, check out this ad from 1933 featuring... pretty much exactly what Bucky is wearing down to the god-damn two-tone shoes:

If you’re curious, yeah $24.98 in 1936 is $475.44. I'm not suggesting Bucky Barnes went out and bought a brand new suit for Steve’s mother’s funeral - for one thing, this ad is from 1933. BUT, that suit fits Bucky. Quite well, and it’s in good shape. He’s also sporting that super stylish mid-late 30s into 40s deeply angled collar shirt - as is our dude up in the ad - and so we know these clothes are at least new-ish. We also can see that the suit is definitely of the mid-30s moving into the boxy silhouette of the later 30s and early 40s and NOT the look of the 20s and early 30s, which has an almost bell-bottom fullness to the legs instead of our straight-leg here (though we can debate nuance if you want to hit up my DMs.)

I should note, Bucky’s shirt is not bright and pristine white - it’s kind of grayish? And I can’t tell if that’s supposed to be an old-timey sepia thing or an indication that Bucky can’t afford to... bleach a white shirt? So that’s an odd choice for sure because we’re still in an age when a crisp, white collar shirt means something (Hey, if you want to hear me go on about the democratization of men’s fashion via shirt collars and 19th century Victorian suits, let me know because I am READY).

All this is to say: I don’t think Bucky Barnes is a poor dock worker. I think Bucky Barnes of MCU canon. Okay, so the MCU wiki on Bucky/The Winter Soldier is an actual mess (because it tells us that Sarah died in 1936 and that’s FINE but I’m not going back to change my math because I’m SICK so just... I went back and changed it. She died in 1936. Fine. The damn wiki also says that “a year later, during their art class, Barnes and Rogers found out that the United States of America had joined World War II. Which, like, I’m sick, but there are a few years between 1936 and December 8 1941... just... I’m no rocket doctor but...

ANYWAY. Bucky is a three time YMCA welterweight boxing champion by this “year later”/ 1941-1942. He and Steve are also in an ART CLASS together. Bucky also trained Steve in boxing at Goldie’s gym before the two of them went to enlist - Steve rejected and Bucky, again quoting MCU wiki, “drafted” (which I'm gonna take to mean he didn’t try to enlist when Steve got rejected, they went home and Bucky got called up later but... hey, who knows?!).

So, I can’t easily find the prices of gym memberships in NYC in the 1930s right now because I don’t feel like wading through all of the articles complaining about Equinox pricing in 2019. But I do know that part of Roosevelt’s WPA (Works Progress Administration) building projects included building more public gyms - as well as libraries, auditoriums, pools, parks etc. Check out your local public buildings - if they are WPA projects they will have a cool plaque like my local NJ library does! All that is to say, there were free or very cheap PUBLIC options where Bucky could have trained Steve.

Bucky trained Steve in a private gym. Do I like to think that this is the same gym Steve and America’s ass are working out in in The Avengers? Yes, Yes I do. Do I like to think that Steve likes to box because it reminds him of Bucky? Yes, yes I do.

But moving on: it’s another sign of wealth.

So is this “art class.” Whether we are in 1937 or 1941 - we’re still in the Depression. Steve still has all of his health issues and presumably accompanying “medication” (wanna talk 1930s medicine? Again, slide into my DMs or shoot me an ask). So Steve either has a side job making enough to cover all of that, rent? and enrollment in an art class.

OR maybe Steve is teaching the art class and Bucky is his model for life drawing instruction (yeah, it’s a fic bunny I’m sharing with the world).

OR maybe... Bucky is paying the rent and other things or Steve is living with Bucky and can afford the class and meds... somehow or...

OR I'm not saying that Steve is Bucky’s kept man because Steve Rogers would punch anyone who dared to say such a thing.

All I’m saying is, Bucky Barnes was not a poor dude. Bucky Barnes... had some money.

And also I’m about to be late for my doctor’s appointment so I gotta run.

At me with your thoughts!

[monkey-network]

World Building w/ Monkey

There can be many series in general where the world it takes place in struggles to leave a lasting impact on you (pic above unrelated). That perfect balance between immersion and comprehension.

Ideally, you want to land right in the middle, next to Donkey Kong, where you’re given a world to think about but you aren’t loaded with questions the product purposefully won’t answer. But where this can get muddled up is with the addition of consistency, memorability, logic, whether it all mattered. It no doubt gets messy when you start examining what made sense, what didn’t add up, why were certain things in certain places, what importance does the world have. There can be so many variables, and it’s largely subjective to each viewer’s critical and investment levels that I don’t even know where to begin with this rant. How about...

Steven Universe. I of course didn’t go into this series expecting a lot of exploration, but at the same time I visibly cannot give a rat’s ass about the settings for this show. Beach City is a white noise backdrop that can leave you begging for a change in scenery. I can see the personal influence that came with this, it can look beautiful, but it doesn’t help that very little actually happens in Beach City to where things would’ve probably been a whole lot cooler if the show took place in a metropolis or somewhere busier. You can casually remember certain locations, sure, but there is little to no overall memorable history and it makes the beach location feel mostly interchangeable rather than a place Steven genuinely calls his home. This is a problem for a lot of shows, ones I love included. You can have locations that in the back of your mind go, “Hey I know that place,” but unless it’s a location that actually has some weight on your mind, you’ll remember it but you won’t probably care as much.

I hardly believe Beach City is for Steven what literal Hell is for Doomguy

And one might say, “Monkey, SU is mostly character focused, the world is supposed to be secondary.” To this, I gotta ask, what makes the town important to Steven? Exploring Steven’s character crisis among everything else is fine, but where SU staggers internally is that it could’ve given us better insight as to why Steven bothers to stay in this one place when he has the option to freely explore the world beyond having the dangers come to him at supposedly inconvenient times but doesn’t. It's like Beach City is this isolated trouble magnet that never shares why problems only happen in this one place or random, equally isolated and forgettable locations. This is where I gotta bring Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure.

Diamond is Unbreakable’s Morioh-cho is more than just Josuke’s hometown, it’s a place where impromptu phenomena happen and gives the town that adventurous livelihood while giving us a simple explanation as to why we’re staying here instead of traveling the globe like its predecessors. Every place, from Tonio’s restaurant, the docks, the ghost alley, to the transmission tower Superfly, adds to both the town’s history and the overall Jojo universe, even when this story is isolated in it of itself. Additionally, even when you could change the location to a metropolis or whatever, the anime especially gives Morioh that memorable style to where it can be difficult imagining the story taking place anywhere else. The biggest factor is the main villain Yoshikage Kira, a man whose entire existence is to live among the small town citizens as a stand wielding serial killer. He is that looming threat, killing and evading exposure, and adds to the value of Josuke and his squad being the protectors of the place they call home. Diamond is Unbreakable is a character focused story like Steven Universe, but JOJO does a better job making its fixed location matter in the long run. Good world building shouldn’t just be about what a place looks like, but what do the characters make in them.

This isn’t to say Beach City is a terrible world, it’s far better than what games like Destiny, Anthem, World of Warcraft, and such have to where you honestly have to read a bunch of wikis and in game logs to understand why you should give a fuck. This is where lore comes in and lore does not and should not equal world building. A golden rule for me when it comes to media is that the best media is easily accessible media, and lore complicates that accessibility; lore should be complimentary and not obligatory or important to understanding things. It’s like seeing a desk covered with school supplies, if world building is expressing the details of said supplies like whether the owner has a habit of biting his pencils or folding his books a certain way, lore is unnecessarily explaining why the pencils and books were made. That isn’t to say that the rules of what exists shouldn’t matter, but lore is that extra step that you shouldn’t try to worry about when it comes to expressing/understanding your rules organically. 

Take Beastars, a definitive series where the rules of society are highly beneficial to the story. It never feels like Paru skimmed through how the animal characters function, and any questions that come up either are or can be fairly explainable. Like, why aren’t insects considered citizens when even fish get privileges? You can look at the series and go, “Maybe since insects are tiny and can live on their own, Itagaki considers them the wild animals of this society,” without feeling like you’re pretentiously speaking for the author. The universe of carnivores and herbivores not only are what pushes our protagonists to essentially break the known expectations and limits of their birth right, but you can have an entire chapter where Legosi or the others are barely in it, & the story details with the character you’re reading about, say Sebun, Yafya, or Legom, are so captivating that it feels just as organic when we see the MCs again. The city itself is much a character in this story and like the titular Abyss from Made in Abyss, Far Far Away from Shrek 2, or the Land of Ooo from Adventure Time, you can probably imagine wanting to be in that world yourself or seeing yourself comfortably in that world without even thinking about it. Good rules adds depth to a world that can keep your focus but makes you think. Too little trivializes your investment because there’s no stakes, too many feels like a college course and fuck that. 

Like Minecraft, the main character isn’t really Steve or whoever you control, but the world that you’re able to create and warp to your hearts’ content. You are grounded to the aesthetic and format of the game, but what you do in the game adds unique character to the experience each and every time. Once you jump on, sometimes it all just clicks to you and that can be the best feeling. To close this rant out, I wanted to express my two favorite worlds that to this day stuck with me.

These places are generally opposites, but they do an amazing job in showing you everything without hardly telling you anything. Treasure Town is this busy and complex theme park looking place and you’re essentially with the characters as we roam the notable sites filled with details that can clue you in on what’s what. Does it all at a good, brisk pace and the colorful environment plays a major part in the story where the city is a symbolic extension of our main duo Black & White and the main struggle they go through in the film.

Yokohama does this but in a more subdued way. The whole story is centered around living in what you could imagine a generally realistic post apocalyptic earth. Not a whole deserted wasteland like what you’ve seen from Mad Max and the like, but one where it’s says civilization has begun anew; a vast landscape that means the world to our lead. And as life reset, we take things easy as relationships grow and seemingly one off moments can reappear as significant turns later on. The mangaka of Y2K leaves you mysteries, but you never feel lost as the main character Alpha is a compelling protagonist to journey with and it kinda makes you wish you were in her shoes, enjoying life in a world pretty barren but full of tranquil hope and easy adventuring.

In the end, I find these to be the best because they 110% commit to the main idea that makes world building such a meaningful concept to think about and invest in:

Escapism

[aiiizawa]

Cecilia wondered if it was an extended, bad dream.  The sensation of falling all around them— the bright, blue sky being blinding with interspersed clouds of pure white and the blurry form of buildings flying past them.  They were no stranger to dreams about falling out of the sky, or some building.   Almost bored, they closed their eyes and tried to change the dream to something else, maybe even give themselves the ability to fly.  

…

……

………

That wasn’t working. 

In a flash, Cecilia opened their eyes and tried to look around.  How fast were they falling?  How close was the ground??  How could this happen when they lived on the GROUND FLOOR of a house with NO SECOND STORY— Cecilia was going to scream,definitely, but the sensation changed almost immediately.  What was once the rush of cold air flying behind them was now being shielded, and they gently opened one of their eyes hesitantly.

“Worry not, my young friend!!  I am here!!”

A booming, familiar voice.  This face…. Long, blonde hair…bright blue eyes nearly eclipsed by the strong bone structure of his face.

“ALL MIGHT?!”  The accusation came out faster than their brain could stop it.

“YES!””  His answer, brilliant and shining in the sun, took the wind out of them even further.  They stared up at him, mouth hanging agape as he deftly jumped with them to the ground.  Apparently, not the correct response, as he had a brief look of shock on his face, but it disappeared as fast as it came, so they chalked it up to the brightness of the sun around them and their imagination.  A small crowd had appeared around the two of them as All Might gently placed them onto the floor swiftly, placing both of his huge hands on their shoulders.

“Now, my young friend, as much as life may be hard for you-- or perhaps you were merely experimenting with your quirk-- You must value your life!!  It is not to be carelessly thrown away!”  He enunciated these words firmly, eyes boring into theirs as they blinked.  There was a misunderstanding somewhere there, definitely, but they couldn’t seem to find a moment to interject as he continued his well-meaning lecture.  More than likely, they were in a bit of shock.  First of all…that was All Might.  ‘That’ All Might.  The world’s greatest hero, the symbol of peace.... That is, in their favorite shounen manga.  Undeniably, they could feel his hand on their shoulder and his finger wag as he continued, and the way their neck hurt from attempting to look up to him.  Slowly, they tried to look around themselves.  Aside from All Might (surprisingly in his normal clothes), there were several heroes hovering nearby...even some in the sky.  They could read advertisements on the various buildings and hear the speakers announce clearly.

‘Be Free to Be You-- Unique Styles for your Unique Body Type.’

‘QUIRKS ARE DEVELOPING SOONER THAN YOU THINK.  IF YOUR CHILD SHOWS SIGNS OF DEVELOPING THEIR QUIRK, DON’T BE LEFT BEHIND.  QUIRK COUNSELORS IN YOUR AREA ARE SPECIALLY TRAINED TO MAKE SURE THAT YOUR CHILD CAN GO BEYOND’

‘Attention: those trying to commute to the 4th Ward on the train should make alternative arrangements as a recent villain attack has left the tracks unable to be used.  For the time being--’

As their gaze flickered between the various sights, oblivious to the world around them, All Might continued.  “If you have any other problems, please do not hesitate to take advantage of this country’s mental health services!   You have your whole future before you!  Go beyond!!  Plus Ultra!!”  He took a step back, saluted, and went to leap away.

Away.

Hold on--

“W-W-WAIT, DON’T G--”  Cecilia, finally realizing that he would be their best bet to understand things, reached out to stop him, hand outstretched.

“HA HA HA!!  DO TAKE CARE!!”  In a flash that was more powerful than they had thought, even when he had just saved him, he was gone.  Well, fuck.  Cecilia was frozen in place for just a moment, and then turned their attention to the crowd around them that was already dissipating since the attraction, All Might, had just vanished.  A couple of well-meaning people approached, asking if they needed help to a hospital, to which they firmly denied.  An embarrassed flush came to their face, so they bowed quickly and dodged them, walking in a random direction to make more sense of their bearings.  As soon as they had managed to filter in through the crowd and walk a little bit, Cecilia leaned up against the wall in a nearby alleyway.  

First things first, they needed to take stock of what they had on them.  Thankfully, they weren’t in their pajamas or anything...a blessing, since the last thing they remembered was crawling into bed at a late hour.  Simple pair of jeans (with pockets!  That was epic.) and a comfortable shirt that they recognized from their closet that had flowers decorating the front.  Worn tennis shoes, and...they patted their back pocket firmly.  Yes.  Quickly pulling out their phone, they hoped they’d have some information.  However, quickly running through their phone, it was clear it wasn’t the case.  No apps, except for an unnamed app that resembled the original internet browser and the notepad.  They didn’t think it was possible to have a phone like this; they never messed with it in this fashion.  At first, the thought did come across that perhaps their phone had been switched, but the telltale crack in the screen protector…the case and phone holder that they chose specifically together...there was no way it wasn’t their phone.  Idly, they tried to open the browser, but even then...nothing. ‘BAD GATEWAY’ was written in bold, dark letters each time they tried to reset.  Heaving a sigh, they decided to shove it back into their pocket rather than waste anymore battery.  For now, they’d just have to keep it in case something DID work.  Now...to figure out what to do now.  They didn’t have their purse, so it wasn’t like they could go anywhere with no money or identification.  Even if they did...the currency was a problem.  Cecilia debated about sitting down and just going ‘fuck it’, but in the end, decided on a random direction and started walking.

Even if the circumstances were the absolute worst, they’d always wanted to go to Japan, so they at least took in the sights.  It was really neat, especially with quirks everywhere, it was hard not to stare.  Naturally colored hair in so many fun colors...they frowned briefly at their reflection.  Would it have been too much to ask for some fucking pink hair without effort?  Everything else was the same.

“Um, excuse me…?  Are you alright?”  A young voice called out to them, and they swiftly turned on their heel to answer.

“Ah, yeah-- I’m fine, sorry, I’ll move.”  Cecilia bowed quickly and shuffled to the side.  The young man put his hands out in refusal.

“Oh no!  I just...recognized you from the article.  You just got rescued by All Might, right?  I saw you wandering around and-- Not that I was stalking or following you or anything!!  But you seemed confused and I wanted to know if you needed help to the hospital or anything--”  He stammered as Cecilia stared at him.

Green hair.  Not just any green hair, a very special, curly head of green hair…and freckles…

Wait a minute--  Cecilia recognized him immediately.  It took a minute because he wasn’t in the U.A. uniform, but that couldn’t have been anyone but Izuku Midoriya.  Looking down at his black gakuran, could it be?  Putting the clues from All Might’s appearance earlier, they must have been put in the very beginning of the story.  Made sense.  However…

Cecilia blinked.  If he was right here and wanted to take them to the hospital…he wouldn’t have his interaction with the sludge villain that let him meet All Might.  The thought sent a chill down their spine.  Absolutely fucked, they couldn’t let that happen.  Cecilia needed a plan, fast, and thankfully, there was always ol’ reliable.

Lying.

“Hey, you’re, uhhhhh, Midoriya-kun?  Yes?”  They asked him, tilting their head slightly.  Midoriya blinked rapidly in shock, round eyes widening.

“H-Huh?  How do you know my name?”  He asked incredulously.  He looked a little bit suspicious, but more shocked than anything else.

“I live in your apartment complex!  I’m really new, both to this country and to the city;”  Not a lie.  Technically.  “I didn’t recognize you until just now!   Unfortunately, you’re right.  I am a bit lost, but I just wanted to get home.  Would you mind walking me there?”  They flashed him their best smile, putting forth what they hoped was a trustworthy and slightly embarrassed face.  He thought for a moment, and then immediately nodded.

“O-Oh!  Of course!  I had heard that someone had moved in earlier, what a coincidence!”  He laughed brightly, bowing.  “I’m Izuku Midoriya.  I live with my mother-- Well, you probably already met her already if you know me.”  He stuck his hand out with a friendly smile and they grinned and introduced themselves as they shook his hand.

“Nice to meet you, Midoriya-kun.”  Cecilia smiled, nodding once and then returning their hands to their pockets.  “Lead the way, sir.”

They felt a little bit bad that they were having a child lead them into what they fully knew was danger on a full and blatant lie...but that would be a problem for Midoriya after he had his fated encounter with All Might.  After that...it’d be fine.

Probably.  He was a forgiving child.

“So you just graduated middle school, huh?  Wow, you must be really excited to start high school.  What school are you aiming for?”  They asked conversationally as they walked.  For the most part, even though he was TERRIBLY shy and only called them by their last name despite asking for him not to, he was pretty talkative.  

“I-- I want to go to U.A!  It might be silly of me, especially after everything that happened today, but…”  he sighed.  “It’s all I want to do, even though I’m quirkless.”  Cecilia nodded along.

“Of course, of course.  I get you, Midoriya-kun.  Don’t worry.  I know you’re gonna be a great hero, no matter what.  After all, you saw me lost and approached me.  The kind of person who can’t leave troubled people alone, I think, is a good candidate for a hero.”

They might have been a little biased, though.  He grinned bashfully, happy to be praised by an adult.  “Thank you, Love-san.  I really appreciate that…”  He scratched behind his neck.  “I’ve been feeling really discouraged recently, so thank you for believing in me, even though we’ve just met.”

Oops.  Cecilia laughed it off nervously.  “Well, you know, I’m an American.  We tend to say whatever’s on our mind!”  At that, they launched into a discussion (read: Midoriya infodumping) about All Might’s time in America.  It was very informative, even though it was hard for them to understand a lot of it with how fast he was speaking.  Mostly, he seemed content to have someone listen to him, so they did just that and tried to keep watch on where the sludge villain would finally come.  After the fourth underpass they walked under, they were starting to wonder if maybe their appearance had fucked up the timeline.  Taking a quick minute, they rubbed their temple gently.

Noticing they stopped, Midoriya turned and looked back concernedly.  They opened their eyes to tell him it was nothing, but stopped, suddenly making eye contact with the grate bubbling at their feet.

“Love-san...?”  He asked.  His eyes were so wide, and then, the manhole cover seemed to explode. A disgusting, creeping feeling crawled up their leg.

“Two disguises?  What a wonderful day I’m having, especially after having just run into that man here…”  Disgusting, cold, sticky.  They tried to kick him off but it was no use.  Midoriya ran running to their aid, even as he was also being ‘tried on for size.’

“You’re a little too short, so I don’t think I’ll bother with you...but I can’t have you running off to the cops.”  The viscous, amorphous fluid flowed freely into their mouth, leaving a rancid taste behind.  At this point, they couldn’t even see Midoriya, who was still trying desperately to save them even as his own airway was being blocked.

Maybe it was their karma for lying to him and getting him to follow them?  That sure would be a kick in the head.  Even with their eyes closed, a deeper, darker blackness was coming over them.  They hoped All Might would come here soon, damn it…They didn’t want to die for nothing.

“Have no fear, my boy!”

That voice, once again.  All of a sudden, a huge, unrelenting pressure from a different direction that seemed to force the villain out of their body.  As they sunk to their knees, and then flat on their face, they just barely saw him do the same to Midoriya.  Cecilia had just one thought.

Fucking finally.

It had been a hell of a day.