#miss my flawed listener so much

[spookybeandoodle]

I miss them so much-

Also, Me and Michael by MGMT is so Bright Eyes and Frederick coded it hurts-

Also also, forgive me. I am in art block so art is messy and rough-

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

underrated genre of character playlist entry: songs a character would relate to because they do not understand their situation, themself, or the song itself well enough to realize it is not accurate (and might well straight up be a callout for people like them). which song is your blorbo's fight club

[flowercrownd]

   me ?  reverting back to my old mid-2010′s fixations ?  oh you betcha.

[the-cinnamon-snail]

I've decided that I'm the problem as I'm a constant, one of the people always there when my parents fight. Like the second my siblings left, everything got so much worse, and when I left for a week, it was better I think, my parents got so much done. And then when I was back in that car with my parents they only went an hour without arguing. Me mixed with my parents is the problem.

[luveline]

hello miss jade ily! since you’re feeling the marauders right now, may i request something with any of the boys, pre-relationship and too lovestruck to speak? reader has done something innocuous, or she’s literally just standing there, and he can’t not break and smother her?

hello lovely, thank you for your request! ♡ fem, 1k

modern au 

You let yourself in quietly. Remus can tell without raising his eyes from his laptop that it's you. James would shout hello, Sirius would beeline for the downstairs bathroom. You close the door with care and leave your shoes under the stairs; Remus can picture you turning your head to one side gently, listening for signs of life. 

"James?" you ask.

"Just me," Remus says. 

You come around the doorway, beaming at him like he's the one you were looking for the whole time. "Hey, Remus. Don't suppose you know when James is back? He's going to take me to the garage so they don't rip me off." 

"Uh, no, but– but I could go with you?" he suggests. Remus isn't your boyfriend, but he wishes desperately that he was and he thinks that's a boyfriend's duty to perform, right? "I'd be happy to." 

Your phone dings. You pull it out with a smile. "Oh, it's James," you say, "he's still coming, but he's late. That's fine, I didn't have an appointment or anything. I'd love for you to come if you want, though, baby." 

Remus chokes on nothing, clearing his throat and sitting up to not seem so pathetic. "I'll come." Because baby? Baby?!

"Brilliant. How's you writing?" 

"Uh, it's, you know, happening. Slowly." 

Remus is admittedly much more collected regularly, but your sudden arrival, your smiling, and now your pet name, you've thrown him for a loop. He's doubly thrown when you sit down on the sofa beside him, no polite space, thigh to thigh and close enough to smell the oils in your hair. 

"I'm not looking, I promise," you say. 

Writing is a raw process. Knowing someone else's eyes are on it magnifies the flaws, but he realises with certainty that he doesn't care if you see it, flaws and all. "That's fine. I don't mind so long as it's you." 

"Lucky me," you say. 

You take your phone out. Remus doesn't mean to pry but you're right there, and your phone screen brightness is high. The text thread between you and James is open, your thumbs penning a quick response. 

Hey James, are we still meeting at the house? I'm omw. 2:17PM

yeah of course, remus is there so go have a cup of tea ill be there soon 2:30PM

ok 2:31PM

sorry running late !! Promise I'll be there, have remus make you a scone :) 2:40PM

I like him too much to have him act like my serf, you can buy us both big salted pretzels on the way home to say sorry for wasting his time 2:45PM

I'm sure he's just gutted to spend time with you 2:46PM

Nice one, James, Remus thinks incredulously. That's exactly what Remus needs, more evidence that he fancies you. You don't seem to have noticed either way, swinging a leg over your knee and finishing another text to James. 

I hope not, I love spending time with him 2:48PM

Remus turns to his computer screen, elated and guilty at once. He was not supposed to see that, surely. 

"Your word count is really climbing," you say, tucking your phone away. "A hundred and fifty thousand. I can't imagine writing so much… will you have to cut that down?" 

"Yep. Much more chance of being published if I fit their standard count. It'll need at least forty thousand words shaved off." 

You shake your head. "I can't imagine putting in all that work and then having to put in more work to get rid of it." 

"Think of it like refining, instead," he suggests, his fingertip sliding across the laptop's space bar. "I'm making sure nothing is boring." 

"I doubt it's boring if you're the one writing it." You stand to his surprise and stretch, a slice of your waist appearing as you twist away from him, an audible click emitting from your back as you roll your shoulders. "Can I make a cup of tea, please?" 

You've had a hundred cups of tea in this house. 

"You know you don't have to ask," Remus says. 

"But it's always nice to ask first," you say as you leave. 

He suspects you were talking more to yourself than him as you occasionally do, and he pays little mind to your movements in the kitchen. He has a lot of work to do and not nearly enough time to do it, and editing isn't as simple as cutting away. It's not obvious what needs to go. Remus has to have a deep think. 

He gets distracted. When you return he barely notices, busy rewriting a clunky sentence. It's not until your pinky finger brushes his arm that Remus remembers you're here, emphasis on you, and that he's besotted. 

When he looks up, he doesn't suppose he'll ever forget again. 

You're at his side neatening a plate of biscuits and toasted scones, the very tip of your tongue peaking between your lips in concentration. It's a simple thing, some might even find it unattractive, but you're totally focused on the plate of biscuits, your lovely eyebrows tightly pinched. 

You seem upset, for a moment. 

Then you meet his eye and any trace of unhappiness vanishes. You're smiling again, eyes alight with something he can't name. "I got you a couple of biscuits and stuff, hope that wasn't too forward. You never remember to eat when you're writing." 

"Oh, sweetheart," he says unbidden to himself, hands paused at his laptop, "that's not too forward." 

He sets his laptop aside and stands. There's nothing for it, no hold to bar —Remus steps forward to kiss your cheek and squeeze the top of your arm, the kiss swift and the squeeze less so. 

"Don't set up around me," he continues fondly, "we'll go have tea in the kitchen with the window open. You can tell me about your day, please. I should've asked you earlier." 

"Don't worry, there's nothing important to share," you say, and to Remus' delight, you've visibly flustered. 

His hand slides down the length of your arm to your hand, where he holds your fingers in his palm. "If it's about you, it's important. Mm?" 

You stare down at his chest and laugh softly. "Okay." 

It's a credit to his self restraint that he doesn't kiss you then and there. 

[nomaii]

i bought fe3h when it first came out, played it for mayyybe 3 hours? and havent touched it since. but im not gonna lie im really tempted to try it again just for edelgard..... also ive been really missing awakening recently but cant play it cuz i lost my 3ds ages and ages ago :'( and maybe 3h will help stem the heartache 💔

[selfishdoll]

❛ ..SO, SO MUCH.❜

I need you bad I can't take this pain | Boy I'm 'bout to go insane ⁺ 𓂋 𓈒 ♡ NEED U BAD.

ཐིཋྀ ⊹ 𓈒 SUMMARY.

you thought you were fine breaking up with your highschool sweetheart & avoiding him for a year. when, in actuality, you were not.

ཐིཋྀ ⊹ 𓈒 CONTENT WARNING.

angst (tiny amount), jaded reader (at first) exes to lovers, y’all were highschool sweethearts fr, tattoo artist! choso & college student reader (both 21+), “i missed you” type sex, choso being a sweetheart & very understanding, reconciling, multiple orgasms, oral sex (fem receiving ofc he’s a munch), soft dom choso, pet names & praise, excuse the amount of plot i got carried away, etc.

ཐིཋྀ ⊹ 𓈒 NOTE.

jasmine sullivan & yoci carrying most of my plot ideas. this took way too long omg. also, excuse any typos or grammar mistakes as this wasn’t proofread. also this is 4k+ words so yeah.

How did relationships work? How did love work? Relinquishing a part of yourself to someone, expecting them to cherish and take care of it; doing the same for them. It was something you found silly, maybe even a little arrogant. You’ve seen too many woman in your life give a part— even their entire selves to their partners, only for the relationship to fall apart. Cheating, lies, simply drifting away from one another; so many excuses, so many reasons on why you avoided relationships like the plague.

Until you met him, Kamo Choso.

You remember clearly as if it was yesterday. Freshman year, he was seated in the back of your shared English class. Boredly looking ahead as if he didn’t want to be there. He looked rugged, maybe even a little depressed; overall, you didn’t see yourself becoming friends.. let alone lovers.

Oh, how wrong you were.

Choso had somehow slipped into your life through your beloved shared friend Yuki Tsukumo. From then on things fell into place. You don’t know when or why you started falling for him.

Was it because he was so caring to his younger brother Yuji? Or maybe how sweet he was to you? Always asking if you were okay, always by your side when things got tough, always encouraging you..

You fell, and you fell hard. But Choso fell much harder.

To him, you were perfection. Carefully crafted with zero flaws. He wanted to get on his knees and thank your mother personally for creating you. That’s how much you meant to him.

The moment these thoughts entered his mind he acted fast, declaring his feelings for you sophomore year of highschool. Not even letting himself linger for a month. He wanted, no, needed you as his. And to his happiness, you returned the feelings. From that day, highschool was nothing more then a bliss-filled blur.

You two became known for your loving relationship, many believing you two would marry after highschool. It was silly, you two were teenagers— yet the thought did make you smile. Everything was just.. perfect. There was nothing more you could ask for.

Until, talk of the future entered the bond you two had.

You wanted to become a nurse, planning to attend a college that had an excellent reputation for its program. While Choso wished to become a tattoo artist in your city. One wanted to stay, and one wanted to go. Choso declared he could handle a long-distance relationship, but you couldn’t. As selfish as it was, you simply couldn’t bare the thought of being away from him for so long. What if he strayed? What if you did? You couldn’t bare it at all— something you tearfully confessed to him the week before you moved onto campus.

You vividly remember the scene, it burned into your mind with no chance of escaping. How Choso stood silently, patiently; listening to your concerns and worries— expressionless when you apologized and ended the relationship. And what did he do? He approached you, carefully wiping away your tears as he’s done for you before.

“Take care of yourself.. okay?” He spoke, taking your cheek in a gentle grasp and leaning down; kissing your forehead— sealing the deal.

That chapter in your life was over. You weren’t with Choso anymore, mind focused on your studies and nothing more. A relationship would drag you down anyway.. you didn’t need him.. you didn’t miss him.

“Shit..” You hissed softly, quickly pulling the wand away from your eye, blinking rapidly. It was your own fault; rushing to put mascara on. You should have better time management skills given you were in college and all— but no. Here you were, fighting against time while attempting to finish getting yourself ready for a block party. You hadn’t a clue who was throwing it, only told — or more like forced — to attend by Yuki.

You jolted in your seat when a loud honk come from outside your house, moving around your vanity to peer outside; spotting Yuki’s familiar car. You breathed softly, standing from your chair and fixing your attire. You wore a cute white ring halter top, along with blue jean shorts and black wedge sandals. Gathering your phone, keys, and purse; the gold chain around your ankle jingled as you exited your bedroom and soon house, locking the door behind you.

Yuki rolled down her window, grinning at you as you walked down your driveway. “Uber for (Y/N)?”

You playfully rolled your eyes at her shenanigans, opening the passenger side door and entering, shutting it behind you. You buckled up after placing your things down, sinking into the chair. “Thanks for picking me up.”

“No problem, I just wanted to see your face firsthand when I tell you Choso would be there.” The words came out of her so nonchalantly, messing with her radio for a moment all while you stared at her blankly.

You reached for your door, but the woman was much faster; locking and starting up the car. You whipped around to glare at her, “Tsukumo! You told me he would be working.”

“Guess the client cancelled..” She mused, taking the car out of park and beginning to drive away from your house. Yuki side glanced, catching your annoyed expression which caused her to sigh, rolling her eyes. “Look, there’s gonna be quite a few people there— maybe you two won’t speak.” She shrugged, raising her eyebrows in hopes you would relax. You only sucked your teeth, leaning into the car door.

An entire year, you’ve two been away from each other. Contact dwindling into nothing after the second month of college. You two were simply busy leading different lives, you told yourself.

But again, it didn’t matter it’s not like you, missed him anyways.

The rest of the car ride was filled with random radio music and brief chatter, Yuki catching you up on things. You had avoided coming back for any holidays, knowing it would be too much for you. Luckily, she was more than happy to tell you about all the dirt she had on your shared friends.

She soon slowed infront of an unfamiliar house, putting the car into park and soon shutting it off. You glanced around, feeling your anxiety lift when you realized you didn’t see Choso’s car. Good, you could somehow melt into the crowd without him noticing you.

Silently you grabbed your phone deciding to leave your purse and charger in the glove compartment, you exited the car and shut the door behind you. Following Yuki up the driveway, porch, and into the house; music quickly overtook you, with the sweet smell of the grill and alcohol. Some people were resting in the living room or crowding the dining room table, but most were in the backyard playing football, or simply shooting the shit.

You glanced around, eyes twinkling at the familiar faces and waltzing up to them. Laughter and hugs ensued, catching up on things given you haven’t seen each other in about a year.

Your arm was locked around Shoko’s waist, talking about nonsense whilst watching Gojo and Geto play beer pong. Or more like Gojo mocking his best friend for missing such an easy shot.

It was nice seeing everyone like this, the stress of seeing your highschool sweetheart leaving rather quickly. For now you were swept away in nostalgia, enjoying being around the people you cared for.

A cup in hand, you recalled the time you walked in on your dorm mate having sex, cheeks burning from the permanent smile etched onto your features. One that faltered the moment excited voices called out to the pink-haired male entering the backyard.

“You’re finally here, Yuji!” Nobara grinned at her close friend, walking over to him; Megumi close behind. The young man apologized, talking about traffic or what not. You weren’t too concerned about that, given your eyes settled on the person walking in behind him.

Anxiety spilled into you, heart thumping against your chest as you took him in, your ex— Kamo Choso. Nothing much had changed about him, still as rugged and handsome as ever; dressed in a simple black compression shirt and baggy pants. It seemed he decided to forgo his usual hairstyle, the black tresses resting on his shoulders in a messy fashion. One that suited him perfectly.

Your breath hitched, watching his eyes zone in on your instantly. You didn’t wait for a reaction, quickly turning away and busying yourself with your phone. Your eyes did lift a little however when the man passed you, the familiar cologne burning your nostrils and causing your stomach to stir. Before you could even think you were lifting yourself from the chair and waltzing back into the house.

Luckily no one noticed or either failed to comment on your disappearance.

You found yourself heading over to the kitchen, grasping ahold of the silver fridge door and opening it; eyes scanning for some water. You murmured to yourself while continuing to look, attempting to ignore the harsh beating of your heart. You sighed the moment you finally found one, grasping it from its place on the shelf and standing up, closing the door.

Taking the cap off you lifted the bottle to your lipgloss stained lips, taking a few sips whilst leaning against the counter— relishing in the cold beverage. Your eyes closed in thought, attempting to map out a perfect plan on how to avoid Choso.

The backyard was a medium size, yet he was bound to be around Yuji. So, as long as you avoided him, Nobara, and Megumi— you could avoid Choso too! It was foolproof and perfect, nearly bringing a smile to your face.

Leaning up you pulled the bottle from your lips, twisting the cap back on and lifting yourself from the counter, turning and freezing. Breaching the threshold of the kitchen was Choso in all his glory, face turning from talking to someone to stare in front of him, eyes landing on you.

A brief silence entered the kitchen, simply taking the other in. Finally, Choso was the first to speak; “Hey, (Y/N).”

“Hey..” You spoke, annoyed by how small you sounded. You watched as he opened the fridge, grabbing a water bottle and shutting it closed. The man leaned against the wall beside the kitchen’s opening, opening the bottle.

You glanced around, noticing there were no many exits. You were trapped.

“How’s college?”

“Huh—“ Your head snapped back to the man, spotting his raised eyebrows, awaiting your answer. You nervously licked your lips, leaning back against the counter. “It’s uh.. been good. Classes are a little hard but, ya know.” You shrugged, feeling a heat crawl from your cheeks to the back of your ears. You dragged your gaze from the ground to him, “How’s tattooing? I heard you got your own booth, congrats.”

Choso nodded slowly, a lazy smile pulling his lips. “Yeah, thanks.” He mused softly, placing the cap back onto his water bottle. “Clientele has been good. Been going to tattoo parties and special events.. and things.”

“That’s good.” You forced a little smile, gaze faltering the moment his eyes landed on you. You felt the way they carried down your form, a familar gaze, one that always made you feel far too warm.

Another silence entered the room, both of you refusing to speak.. or leave. You told yourself time and time again you hadn’t missed Choso, that you were done; stuck on the path you’ve chosen. Yet here you were, anxiously waiting for something, anything to happen. You just.. couldn’t let go.

You gripped the bottle you held, eyes drifting back to him, zoning in on the bracelet he wore. It had red and black beads, ones all to familar to you. Starboy, was the words etched onto seven of them. You knew this, given you had your own pink and white charm bracelet labeled Stargirl.

“You still wear that?” The words left you before you could think, Choso blinking from his thoughts and glancing at his wrist. The man breathed softly, nodding soon after. “Yeah. I do.”

“Why?”

Choso went silent, leaning his head back against the wall as his eyes turned up to the ceiling. Finally he shrugged, “I don’t know.” He spoke lowly, causing you to bite your lip. Feelings you had pushed to the back of your mind began to flood within you, flashes of memories you had kept locked away following after.

You turned, rapidly blinking to eliminate the tears threatening to tread down your face. You were kidding yourself for months, thinking you hadn’t missed him. Thinking you were better then the woman in your life, able to cut a man off without a second thought. Yet your heart betrayed you in the most painful way, wanting nothing more to leap into his arms and cry.

His cologne became stronger, a gentle, familiar hand hesitantly being placed onto the one that held your bottle. Your eyes drifted to his face, spotting the concerned look he wore. That was enough for you, tears spilling and traveling down your dark brown cheeks, mouth opening but unable to speak.

But Choso knew what you wanted to say, knew how you felt. The man gently grabbed the bottle from your hand, placing it off to the side whilst his arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest. He ignored the wet feeling that tainted his shirt, resting his chin onto your head all while continuing to hold you. Choso breathed as your shaky hands reached around, grasping his shirt as your buried your face deeper into his chest.

“I’m so sorry Choso..” You managed to whimper out, sniffling shortly after. The words escaped you again, delving into a soft mantra that caused the man to pull you even closer, softly shushing and soothing you. You stood there in his arms, feeling every bit of resolve melt away.

You missed Choso so much, it hurt. The pain rendering your whole body limp, using him for stability.

It took a moment to calm yourself down, soon pulling away, warming as the man reached over to wipe your tears. Just like he did a year ago and so many years prior.

“Why are you apologizing?.. You don’t have to—“

“I didn’t compromise. I was so stuck on myself, running at the first sign of conflict.” You spoke softly, leaning into his palm the moment held your cheek. “I want to try again.. I want to be with you again, Choso. You don’t know how much I missed you.”

The words had barely left you before his lips were covering your own, taking your breath away easily. The familiar, wonderful feeling took over your mind, hands sliding up to wrap around his neck; fingers curling into his messy hair. The moment his tongue swiped across your bottom lip you were parting them, pressing your body into him as a needy sigh escaped you. His hands traveled to the underside of your thighs, lifting you up and placing you on the counter— all while continuing the kiss.

Your legs opened wide, locking around him the moment he stepped between them. The kiss deepened, his hands resting on your ass as soft moans and hisses entering the atmosphere. Sooner then you hoped the kiss ended, pulling away as soft pants fanned on each other’s skin.

“I missed you too.. so, so much.” Choso murmured softly, gripping your plush form as if you would disappear in thin air. No other words followed, the man capturing your lips with such intensity you were tugging at his tresses. Languidly moving his lips, leaving you breathless, threatening to devour you. Your legs tightened around his form, feeling hot beneath your clothes.

His name fell from your lips in a soft whimper, pulling back and resting your head against the cabinet— gasping the moment his lips attached to your neck. Your eyebrows knitted close together, biting your lip as his teeth gently grazed your skin. “Choso, Choso.. not here— we can’t..”

While his lips didn’t stop he listened to your warning, sliding his hands underneath you and lifting you off the counter. You tightened your arms around his neck, face hot with embarrassment as he walked you from the kitchen and towards the back of the house— everyone luckily none the wiser given they were all in the backyard now.

Moving towards a random bedroom he opened the door, shutting and locking it behind him. Waltzing over to the bed he sat down, placing in you in his lap all while his lips continued to press gentle kisses against your neck, collarbone, and throat. Your hands traveled, finding the edge of his shirt and tugging on it, feeling his hands fall from your body to his shirt— peeling it off for you. Tracing his skin, feeling his sculpted sink in the moment your feathery touches reached low— gasped as Choso gently bit your neck, pushing to lay you down on the soft blankets.

“Missed this.. missed your touch, smell, how you taste..” His words drifted, catching onto the the edge of your shirt and slowly pulling off your body. Choso breathed, taking in your naked chest, leaning down. The cool, silver chain he wore tickled your skin as his lips ghosted your chest, a warm hand grabbing your breast to gently squeeze.

You gasped as his tongue glided across your areola and slowly hardening nipple, feeling his free hand flicking the button on your shorts, entering them shortly after. Choso began to suck on your hardened bud, all while his fingers breached your panties, two fingers slowly circling your clit. Your legs rose, hips rising into his touch as your head leaned back against the mattress. Soft breaths of pleasure escaped you, gripping his hair as your eyes were pinched closed.

“You missed this, pretty girl? Missed how easily I could drive you crazy from just my fingers?..” He questioned softly, fingers lowering to push into you, hissing at the way your walls clung to his digits all while his thumb busied itself, rubbing tight circles onto your hard button.

You nodded, clinging onto him as his fingers thrusted and scissored inside of you. “Yes.. fuck— yes.. Missed this so much, Choso.” You gasped, whimpers escaping you as another finger came to stretch you. Wet muffled squelches carried with each thrust and curl into your pussy, bruised lips parted as melodic moans escaped you.

The man hummed softly in enjoyment, leaning down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss. Sweeter, softer then the way he was ruining you with his fingers, pushing against your gummy walls affectively leading you closer and closer to your orgasm. You whimpered in his mouth, nails dragging from his hair to his arm, feeling the muscles tense with each movement of his hand.

You legs tightened around him, pulling back to gasp, throwing a hand over your mouth the moment you came— muffling the moan that escaped you. Your mess soiled his fingers and your panties, legs shaking as you felt him slowly withdraw his fingers. You breathed into your palm, barely registering his hands latching onto your shorts and peeling them off your body, panties following.

There, his hands slid to the inside of your thighs, pushing them open to reveal the price between them. Choso moaned softly from the sight, hands rising to place his thumbs onto your soaked folds, spreading them. “So messy, princess.” The man teased softly, reaching to press his thumb against your sensitive clit, grinning at the way you whined.

“Choso, please..” You breathed, watching as his body lowered, breath hitching the moment his cool breath fanned across your wet cunt. You whimpered as his thick tongue dragged a stripe up to your clit, the tip circling the button. Your legs threatened to close, causing the man to pull you closer, legs stretched out and resting on his shoulders. Your fingers curled into his hair, crying out the moment his lips wrapped around your clit, sucking and running the flat of his tongue against it.

The man pulled back for a moment, hands sliding under your ass and gripping the warm globes, lifting you a little just to smother himself in your pussy. His tongue moved wickedly, gliding up and down your slit before dipping into your warm entrance, thrusting and curling against your walls.

Your fingers clung to his hair, free hand placed against your mouth as you bit your palm, covering the desperate moans that escaped you. Your hips moved, grinding into his face as little tears built within your eyes. Slurping and lapping, enjoying every single drop that dripped from your pussy, moans escaping him. His hips ground into the blankets, chasing your orgasm with such intensity.

Your stomach clenched, arching up off the bed as a muffled swear escaped you, creaming all over his face, feeling his hands tightened as he licked you clean. Your limp body fell back against the blankets, breathing heavily as your legs shook. Soon enough he released you, rising from his spot between your legs and dragging his hands from your ass to your thighs, soothing the warm flesh.

Pushing forward he leaned over your body, hand carrying to your throat and gently grabbing it, pressing his wet lips against your own; you softly moaning at your taste. Slowly, the two of you continued to kiss, his other hand drifting to his sweats to push down his body, boxers following.

Choso pulled away, placing his forehead against your own, sliding his cock between your slit— rubbing against you slowly. Your fingers locked around his wrist, desperate pleas escaping you as your hips rose, searching for more. The man gave a breathy chuckle, smoothing his thumb against your throat. “Needy aren’t we?” The man mused, leaning to kiss between your eyes, hearing you whine.

“Need you, Choso..”

“You need me so bad, put it in yourself.” The man spoke, watching you bashfully blink at him, grinning as you attempted to shy away from his gaze. His hand rose, grabbing your wrist and carrying it between the two of you. Your much smaller hand wrapped around his cock, a hiss escaping his lips from the touch. “Go on, princess..” Choso breathed, gripping the sheets beside him as your hips rose, adjusting to line him up with your entrance before slowly sinking inside.

You never got accustomed to how Choso stretched you— not the first time and definitely not now. Your lips parted, soft moans escaping you as your hips continued to slowly rise. A choked cry escaped you however the moment he flicked his hips forward, burying himself deep inside. “Ch—choso! You..” You whimpered, walls pulsing around his heavy length, feeling him kiss your cheeks.

“Guess I’m just as needy as you baby.” Choso spoke, lip twitching into a subtle smirk. He rose, releasing your throat and resting on his hutches. Hands found the back of your knees, a steady grip as he slowly pushed them down to your chest, watching you breath sharply. Pulling his hips back until the tip was inside, Choso thrusted forward, taking in the way your body jumped and the prettiest moan escaped you.

His rhythm stared quickly, hips snapping back and forth, reaching deep inside; pushing against a spot that caused you to see stars. Your fingers balled up the sheets underneath you, moans escaping you. You had long forgotten the party going on outside, long forgotten the fact you two were separated for an entire year— your mind only focused on how his cock so easily ruined you, toes curling and anklet jingling with each thrust.

The man leaned down, folding you even more as he pressed a hand against the bed, the other curling in your hair, lifting you into a messy kiss. Tongues curling, teeth bumping into each other, eating up the other’s moans as pleasure consumed you. His chain tickled your heated skin, dragging across each time he rutted into you.

“Fuck..” Choso gasped, pulling back to breath, hand moving to gently grabbing your cheeks. “Keep your eyes right here, princess.. that’s it.. look so pretty like this.” He spoke, feeling you clench with each praise that left his mouth.

You felt so damn good, hugging him close; sucking him in each time he pulled back. Your arousal dripped down his length, a sticky ring forming at the base of his cock. Just when your hand rose to cover your mouth again, Choso was snatching your wrist, pressing it against the bed.

“No, no— waited far too fucking long to have you covering your mouth.” He hissed harshly, intertwining your fingers as he buried himself deeper, hitting your cervix.

The pain was quickly washed away with pleasure, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you came around his cock— a high pitched cry escaping your throat. Tears trickled down your cheeks, other hand falling to his waist to push, and whine; the overstimulation becoming too much.

All for Choso to simply shake his head, pace quickening as he drilled you into the bed. “Know you got another in you.. come on (Y/N).”

You whimpered, head pressed into the blankets as sobs escaped you. “Cho—Choso! Hah.. Can..can’t think, fuck!”

“Then don’t.” The man chuckled in a breathy tone, leaning close as his lips ghosted your lips. “Let me fuck everything out of your mind except for how good I’m making you feel..” A groan escaped him shortly after, eyes glossing over as he felt himself getting close.

Thrusts became desperate, the two of you dissolving into pathetic fits of moans and whines, hands moving across the other’s skin to grip and mark up. Just when you felt your mind going blank you shook, convulsing as you came all over his cock again.

Choso was close behind, burying himself deep and coming; eyes pinched close as he gripped you tightly. His hips stilled, heavy pants escaping the two of you.

The man pulled out shortly after, rolling off your body and falling to your side. Choso didn’t leave you alone long, reaching for your waist and pulling you into his side, turning to place a feverish kiss to his forehead.

A blissful silence covered the silence, simply enjoying the other’s company and warm bodies. Soon though, you rose up slowly, ignoring the aching of your body as your hand found his cheek. “I love you, Choso.”

He smiled at you, thumb caressing your skin as he kissed you gently— mumbling the same on your lips. Moments passed before you two pulled away, you snuggling in his neck arm strewn across his body.

Until.. you blinked, glancing around the room. “Wait.. whose room is this?”

“It’s a guest room.” He murmured back, chuckling softly after. “Gojo might be a little pissed if he finds out about this.”

You shook your head a little, sighing softly. “Choso..”

[astraystayyh]

All for you

skz and the vows they'd write for you.

fluff. gn reader. word count-3.9k. listen to video games by lana del rey if you can!!!

a.n: thank you to @a-cute-french-fry and @dorisnumber1fan for brainstorming some of these with me <3 i made myself very delulu with this so ENJOY. happy 3k!!! i love you all muahhh <3

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 chan ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

Chan's warm hands are in yours, fingers tangled with one another tightly- like the sturdy roots of an ancient tree.

“Baby,” he calls out softly, and you can already feel tears well up in your eyes at the tenderness in his voice. His thumb reaches out instinctively to wipe the lone tear that managed to escape. His right hand remains on your cheek, cradling it gently.

“Seungmin always liked to joke that I was nearly half-fifty-two. Then half fifty-three on my next birthday,” he starts, as a faint giggle escapes your lips. “That's how I counted time too, with the different days I lived… That is until I met you.” He pauses, a shaky breath leaving him and crashing onto you. “Suddenly I was no longer twenty-six. I was one week old since I met you. Three months since I’ve loved you. And then five years since you changed my life. Years no longer marked the passage of my time. It was you who marked the passage of me.”

“I always had this idea in my head, that I was only worth loving easily. If I diluted all my problems, concealed all my flaws and insecurities to please the ones around me, only then was I deserving of love. But you...” His eyes soften, even more so than they were before. “But you loved me, you loved me on my happy days, and on my darkest ones. You loved me, even when I couldn't understand it, even when I couldn't see what was there to care for in me. So, thank you, for showing me that I am worthy of love, simply because I am me. Thank you for choosing to be patient with me. You don't always know what to do to help, nor do I, but you try, and I try, and isn't that what love is, in the end? To take time out of your day to try, for the person you love?” His voice cracks, as sudden tears wash over his rosy cheeks.

“And I love you. I love to love you. And I cannot not love you, not when my heart beats to the melody of your existence. I promise that even when I’m eighty, I’ll always try to love you better, softer, gentler. I'll never stop trying to be worthy of your love, to be worthy of being yours. Only ever yours.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 minho ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

“Angel,” Minho smiles softly, the back of his hand brushing tenderly against your cheek. “I love you, so so much. You know that, right? I probably don't say it as much as I feel it, because I always do. Every second of my existence is spent loving you. Even when I’m not fully awake, and still floating in that hazy space between dreams and consciousness, I can still feel it deep within me that I love you. It is the one thing that ties me back to life itself.”

“And I never... I never imagined that I could adore someone this much. So much that I always think of you, always miss you, even when you're near. Because I feel as if I missed out on years of loving you, back when we didn't know each other. And I- I want to love you, hard enough so it'd feel as if I’ve done it for your entire life.” He's blinking repeatedly, you're surprised he can still read the words scribbled on his paper. You can sense that the tears glistening in his eyes are on the verge of spilling, so you grab his hand and squeeze it gently. 'I'm here', you silently say- he understands.  

“Thank you for holding my hand. Now, and every time I’ve needed you. Thank you for being here for me, with me. I... I always thought that people like me were destined to be alone. But- but being with you feels like I’m with myself. There's no need for me to pretend. Thank you for not making me pretend anymore. You are my mirror, you and I are one, and I- I hope...” He brings your hand to his chest, where his heart beats wildly- 'stay with me' it sings to you.

“I hope you can always feel my love for you. Now and when we're too old sitting on the patio of our home, and my hand is still in yours. Because my heart belongs to you, it beats for you and I breathe for you.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 changbin ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

“You're breathtaking,” Changbin whispers in awe, his eyes tracing the contours of your body with each lingering look, like the brush of a skilled artist.

“So are you,” you giggle, but he shakes his head vehemently, drawing nearer to you. “You are the most beautiful human I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I can't believe I’m marrying you,” he chuckles in disbelief, before grabbing your hand and twirling you around, showing you off for all to see. 

“Look at who I’m marrying!” he shouts with bursting excitement, as he dips you down, his nose grazing yours gently, a soft touch amidst the loud exclamations around you. 

“Still sure you want to marry him?!” Seungmin shouts from his seat and you giggle, wrapping your arm around Changbin’s waist. “I do!” 

Your laughter gradually fades, as Changbin clears his throat. His head is tilted to the side, a small, incredulous smile drawn on his lips as he contemplates the loveliness of this moment- of marrying you. 

“My baby. My beautiful baby. I think this is the happiest day of my life. But again, every day is a happy one with you. I... I've never known that love could be unconditional, that loving someone would feel as simple as breathing. Until you. Loving you doesn't feel like I’m taking something out of my being, and giving it to you. But rather, I’m nurturing something within me, a blossoming tender emotion that grows within my soul. Loving you...” he steps forward, cradling your cheeks in his warm hands. “Loving you makes me happy, immensely happy. Because you are the sunset that makes people stop in their tracks to admire it. You are the beautiful scenery that gives hope to everyone who witnesses it. And you make me feel alive. More than I’ve ever been before you.”

“And I promise...” he pauses, wide eyes trying their best to embrace each feature drawn on your face. “I promise to love you more today than I did yesterday. I promise to shoulder the pain that slips through the cracks in your heart, the one that you try so hard to conceal from me. I promise to hear your silent cries and to hug you until your soul stops bleeding. I promise to see you, even when you try to hide from me. I promise to hurt if it means you'll feel less pain. And I-” his voice trembles as it washes over your old scars, delicately erasing them from your memory. 

“I will love you. When the pain seems too big, I will love you. And when your happiness shines the brightest, I will love you. I am madly, irrevocably, desperately in love with you. My heart is tangled in yours.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 hyunjin ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

“My love,” Hyunjin begins before abruptly stepping forward, pressing his lips onto yours. The kiss is dizzying and sweet, it reminds you of the figs he hand-fed you yesterday- honey dripping down his tongue onto yours. “I’m sorry,” he whispers once he steps back. “I couldn't help myself. You're so pretty,” he admits sheepishly, and you giggle, too in love to ever mind.

“Where was I? Right, hi, my love. Writing these vows was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Not because I didn't know what to say, but there is so much I wish to express, to talk about when it comes to you. How my soul seems to burn for you. How you’re my last love, but also my first, because I don’t think I’ve ever truly loved before you. Not when you are love itself. But I… I found this journal entry, from four years ago. And I want to read it to you.” He clears his throat, a useless attempt to erase the quiver in his voice.

“I used to believe that love was meant to be grandiose. Extravagant gestures and confessions that will seem too magical for any ordinary human. That’s what I craved; a love so big it would overtake my being completely. But... But tonight, you played with my hair as I laid my head on your lap. And we held hands while drinking warm tea on your couch. And it felt enough, more than enough for me to lead a beautiful life. One worth remembering, one worth commemorating. All because it’s with you.

I realize now that I no longer have to search for love all around me, because you hand it to me, so freely, so selflessly. You love me on our extraordinary days and our mundane ones. I never have to second guess it with you. We may be angry, sad, or frustrated, but the love always remains. It's the one emotion that ties us together, that anchors us to one another. My compass. You.

I don't think I ever 'fell' in love with you. Because a fall can never be gentle, it always hurts, even if for a little. And you must always get up afterward, in a minute, in an hour, in a few years. You can't stay down forever. But this, what I feel for you, the emotion that makes my heart beat is tender and soft. It feels like walking inside a home where the light is golden, the windows are wide open, and every past version of me finally finds what it was looking for all along. I want to stay in you for a while. For a long time. For the rest of my life. And I’ll do whatever it takes so you’d let me.

P.S: I am sleeping with a light heart tonight. I hope that, for as long as I’m breathing, you will always too. You deserve it, more than anyone who has ever walked this earth.”

There is a long pause, as Hyunjin’s words hang over the air; they knock the breath out of you but simultaneously fill you with life. You step forward, swiping away his tears gently. He brings your hand to his mouth, soft rosy lips brushing against your knuckles. 

 “I guess I've been writing my vows since the day I met you,” he smiles softly, delicate love overflowing from him. “Every painting, every journal entry, was to you, by you, for you. Thank you for being my home. Thank you for choosing to love me, every day. Thank you for allowing me to witness the magic that is you. I will forever and always orbit around you.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 han ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

“Have I ever told you that you're my favorite artist, sweetheart?” Han’s voice is gentle, as he begins speaking. It reminds you of the waves lapping at your feet when he proposed to you. “I feel as if, as soon as you stepped into my life, you began to paint it with the most vibrant colors. The ones I’ve been desperately longing for. Because it is hard… to see the world as a rainbow when you've felt in blacks and whites for so long.” Han’s gaze softens as he spots the tears now trailing down your cheeks. “Shh, don't cry, honey. Or I’ll start crying too, and I don't think I can stop then,” he whispers and you nod, a breathy giggle escaping your lips.  

“My mind used to be a scary place. But it no longer is, because it's now filled with thoughts of you. I like to imagine that you planted yourself a little garden there, vibrant tulips and roses. And these flowers may wither down. But they will always bloom again, watered by my love for you, and your love for me. And I hope you know that I... I'll always be there for you too. When the thoughts in your head won't quiet down, I’ll talk for as long as it takes to distract you. And when you want to sit in silence, I’ll be near you, holding your hand. And when you want to be alone, I’ll be there, lingering around the door, within your reach. In whichever shape you want me, you'll get me. I am here, I won't ever leave you.”

“And now I’m crying too” Han chuckles softly, and through the shimmering veil of your tears, you cling to his hand to see.

“I really, really don't know what I ever did to deserve you. But I know I’ll try my entire life to be worthy of you. For as long as I’m here then there will always be someone who loves you. Someone who is proud of you; for breathing, for trying, for never giving up. Please never forget that. You are my strength, my peace, my home. You are everything I have ever dreamed of in human form.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 felix ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

The golden rays reflect on Felix’s eyes as he looks down at his paper. A summer wedding- he insisted, his only condition to you. It is ridiculous, you wanted to tell him, to expect it to be any season but summer when he is the sun.

“Hi baby,” he grins, twinkling brown eyes captivating yours. “God, I’m so nervous. I rehearsed this ten times in front of chan. I think he learned it by heart now.” You giggle, as Chan’s laughter travels across the venue. “I’m not usually afraid of speaking in front of people. But you aren't anyone. I guess that's why I’m nervous. You look really beautiful today. This isn't in my papers, I just wanted to tell you. Because you are. You're always beautiful but today you're absolutely breathtaking and I can't believe I’m marrying you. Thank you for saying yes,” he pauses, a breathy chuckle escaping him. “I’m rambling, aren't I?” you nod, a wide grin on your face. You love him.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I... I'm known as the massage fairy, right? I think I might've massaged almost everyone present in this room.” The loud cheers of your friends signal that they agree.

“I used to, I mean, I do it because you get knots in places your hands can't reach, and it feels nice, for someone to ease the ache of your muscles for you. And I always thought that massages were strictly physical. That it just undoes tension in your body, nothing more, nothing less. And I never told you, because it sounded silly in my head. But I knew... I knew I loved you when you massaged my shoulders for the first time. Do you remember, baby?” he asks, a gentle smile gracing his lips. “That was two months into our relationship. Which is fairly early, but time means nothing when it comes to you.”

“My shoulders were sore, and when I told you, you stood behind me instantly. You started to massage my shoulders and I almost cried right there and then. Because your fingers worked delicately, and it felt as if you were kneading your love into my body. You lifted an invisible weight off of me that day, an emotional one. I didn't even know it was there until you touched me. That's how I knew you were different, to me. That your touch wasn't strictly physical, that it reached into depths of my soul, that it soothed aches I’m not even fully aware of,” he pauses, drawing in a deep breath.

“You already know this, but I... I never really learned how to deal with sadness, because it all happens so suddenly with me. One bad thought always brings with it ten others and suddenly I am pulled into a pool of horrible feelings. But your hands keep me afloat until I’m ready to swim by myself again. I think... I think you understand my sadness more than I do. Maybe because you're a part of me, two halves of the same heart.” His voice softens at the last word, as unshed tears glimmer in his eyes.

“I hope, I pray, that my hands massaging your sore shoulders would also reach into your soul and heal its ache. And I know I might not make you feel better, instantly, or in a day, or the following one. But I promise that I won't ever leave, even if the bad times stretch forward. I'll be with you, patiently, just as you do to me. I may not understand myself fully, but I know that my soul was crafted to love you. Every atom in me is yours, and that is enough knowledge for me.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 seungmin ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

You take a step forward, brows knitted in concentration as you carefully readjust Seungmin’s black tie. Your hands then glide to his shoulders, smoothing the fabric of his suit. “Nervous?” You ask, and he responds with a subtle nod, planting a chaste kiss upon your forehead.

“Don’t be. It’s just me.”

“It’s never ‘just you’ to me.” He gently holds your chin, dainty fingers commanding a cascade of butterflies inside you. “Just look at me, okay?” You smile tenderly and he nods, taking a step backward.

Seungmin draws in a deep breath, eyes traveling over the entire room before finally settling on you.

“I’ve always liked math. I liked the security that numbers gave me, the exactitude of this science. Because one plus one equals two, and no change in our world, however grand it may be, could ever alter it. I liked things that I could grasp, that I could wrap my head around fully. Tangible rules and formulas. They were my safety net. Until you came into my life. You were the wildest variable I’ve ever encountered, and being near you made me crave things I’ve never known. You pushed me out of my comfort zone, but I wasn't afraid to fall into the unknown, because I knew you'd be there to catch me. So, you became my risks and paradoxically, my safety net, all in one.” He doesn’t look down at his paper- his kind eyes never leave yours, and you’re suddenly the only two humans existing in this world.

 “I remember a Tuesday night, two years ago. You slept over at my house, and we didn't do anything special. We just talked a lot, about everything and nothing, just saying whatever crossed our minds. And then you dozed off on my chest. You looked so... Peaceful in my arms, and I was surprised you weren't woken up by my wild heartbeat. Because I suddenly realized that I wanted a forever with you, right there and then.” You both step forward at the same time, hands reaching out blindly to hold one another.

“I’ve always found it a bit weird to crave something to last for a duration that we humans cannot grasp. Everything we know is ephemeral. Everything has a beginning and an end. So, I never really believed in forever, until you. Forever exists because I can't see myself ever not loving you,” a faint hiccup courses through him, as he looks up at the sky- an earnest attempt to stop his tears from falling. It is useless, because once he looks at you again, emotion overtakes him, rippling from him in waves.

“Even- even when we're both no longer here, and my body can no longer contain my soul. Even if I only roam in space eternally, as a small speck of light, my destination would always be you, because my love for you would be the only thing my soul would remember. The core foundation of my being, the essence of who I am is my love for you, and even if everything around me fades, the love for you will stay.” His forehead presses onto yours, a last whisper, only meant for you- “My eternity is you.”

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 jeongin ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹

Jeongin's lips graze the inside of your wrist, right where your pulse dances in fervor- for him alone. He looks self-assured, as he lets go of your hand to take out a paper from his pocket. But there is a faint blush tainting his cheeks; it travels down his neck when he clears his throat.

“Baby,” he starts, voice hoarse from barely hidden emotion- the notes of it settle inside your heart. “I don't know where we will be many years down the road, or what we will be doing. But I know that there are things that won't change between us. I know that I’ll listen to all your rants about your favorite show, and I’ll buy you ice cream when you're craving it at 3 a.m. I will still buy two bottles of my shampoo because you love to use mine more than yours. And I like it when you carry a part of me with you, even in such a subtle way. I will still give you my jacket, even when you insist you aren't cold, but I can tell, because I know you. I will...” He sucks in a deep breath, as his vision grows blurry from the tears in his waterline.

“I will make you coffee in the morning, exactly how you like it, down to how many ice cubes you use. I will warm up your towel as you shower and I will fold your laundry because I know you hate doing it. And I- I will hold your hand when we cross the road, and in crowded places, and in the lines of every coffeeshop we’ll go to. I will run my fingers down your spine when you're about to sleep, and I will-” Jeongin's tears splatter across the paper, smudging its black ink. His lips are quivering, as the paper shakes in his hands.

“I will kiss your tiny bruises and remind you to breathe on- on days where...” Jeongin crumples the paper in his hand as he finally looks at you. He’s crying, a stream of tears trailing down his cheeks like a floodgate that isn't planning on stopping. “On days where it seems impossible to.” He finishes, the words he's written long forgotten by him. He didn't need to read them when he had you in front of him- the sole holder of his love.

“And I will hug you tight on nights when your sadness feels bigger than what your body can contain. And when words don't seem to make sense in your head, I’ll- I’ll listen to you, I’ll understand you, I’ll learn you. And I will love you. I will love you and I’ve loved you and I love you. And I- I wish there was a word bigger than love to describe how I feel for you. Because four letters never seem enough when it comes to you. But I am yours, body, heart, and soul. Wherever you go I follow. Till the ends of the earth, I'll be there.”

[gay-dorito-dust]

HII!! CAN U DO A PAVITR PRABHAKAR X READER WHERE THEY SHARE THEIR FIRST KISS (OR READERS FIRST KISS, WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!) AKISISSJSJ IDK WHAT TO REQUEST CAUSE ITS MY FIRST REQUEST LMFAO - 🧑🏽‍🔧

I hope this wasn’t absolute arse as I started like some of this late in the night so there are probs inconsistencies.

‘It’s so obvious that they like each other but due to their assumptions that the other will reject them, they look for the same love in other people, only to be drawn back together because there’s no one who could love them quite like them.’ Pavitr said from your side as you both were indulging in some much needed free time by catching up on episodes of a recent show that you’ve missed. It was a great way to pass the time when nothing else of interest seemed to entice you, plus it was made even better when you got to spend it with Pavitr and his commentary regarding the love interests that you’ve grown to find endearing overtime.

‘We’ve seen this trope happen so many times in the other shows we’ve watched before this.’ You replied, looking over at him, knowing wholeheartedly that you’ve just provoked the preverbal bear, but that didn’t matter as to hear Pavitr speak passionately about something he felt so deeply made you admire him in ways you didn’t know you could.

‘It’s a fail proof formula that wins out every time!’ Pavitr exclaims before sighing dreamily as his mind began to wander amidst his many thoughts, ‘besides who doesn’t want to experience a love like that? a love that your willing to go through trial and tribulation for because you could never truly give your heart to someone else when they had their name carved into the very essence of your being by just smiling, by just being unapologetically them in all their flaws.’ Pavitr stopped midway through his speech to smile softly to himself when imagines of you popped in the forefront of his mind, it made him feel nostalgic and in a way it made him miss your presence despite you being right next to him.

Pavitr was a romantic at heart and so too did he naturally speak from it also, but due to the fact that you were just really good friends made him a little hesitant in pursuing you under the pretences that you didn’t feel the same way that he had for while now. Pavitr knew he couldn’t control his heart the moment it began picking up it’s pace within your presence, only to gradually pick up even more with the slightest things you did that he adored or moved in closer proximity to him to the point he thought he was going to pass out; fortunately for Pavitr he didn’t, sitting on elevated structures was dangerous enough but sitting on elevated structures whilst on the verge of potentially passing out wouldn’t have made for a great combination.

Despite experiencing the universal fear of rejection, it never truly stopped Pavitr from being close to you as humanly possible. After all you’re his best friend first and he’d be damned to let his romantic attachment and his fear create a rift between you two, which is why the now tradition of binge watching dramas was created for it gave him the opportunity to spend time with you; being Spider-man was amazing in and of it’s own but what wasn’t amazing was the fact that he wasn’t given as much time with you as he wanted, Mumbattan needed it’s hero but he, Pavitr Prabhakar, not Spider-Man, needed you more.

‘It’s a love many people desire but don’t have willpower to go through with as it tends to possess the ability to overwhelm them and become suffocating but it shouldn’t be that way when you’re in love.’ He explained and you listened intently to every word that fell from his lips that you’ve been transfixed on for the majority of his speech. ‘Love is an all encompassing force that can make you feel a multitude of emotions but you know when a love is right when they make you feel as though you can do anything, be anything, become anything with unbiased judgment. Real love is accepting that they are human and are bound by mistakes, real love is being the others hero but most of all real love is just two souls growing a deeper affection for humanity’s inner beauty.’ He finished, looking at you with a smile.

‘That was beautiful Pavitr.’ You tell him, ‘I know your a sucker for romance but that was especially impassioned,’ you nudged his arm in an act of playful banter despite hearing the sound of your heart breaking over having lost the boy you liked who wasn’t yours to have feelings for because like he said you could never truly give your heart to someone else when they had their name carved into the very essence of your being. ‘So…who’s the lucky person that’s made your heart sing like a canary?’ You mentally applauded yourself for being able to made it through that entire sentence without cracking from under the inevitable heartbreak you were about to experience.

Pavitr, ever the opportunist, saw the chance to admit his hearts deepest desire, sure the setting could’ve been a little better that what he had in mind but Pavitr was willing to work with whatever he was given to his advantage. So he grabbed ahold of your hands and given them a tight, comforting squeeze as he made sure to keep eye contact with you when he said his next words over the sound of his racing heart; ‘it’s you, you taught me how beautifully terrifying love can be when in the face of rejection but once upon a time you told me that it’s better to have tried then to have never have tried at all.’ You did in fact remember telling him that when he once asked you what he should do if he ever developed a crush and wanted to ask them out, which at the time only slightly stung in comparison to the overwhelmingly excruciating pain of self deprivation along with ever other human emotion attacking your sense.

Despite the verbal confirmation, you still were in a state of doubt and insecurity that it made it hard for you to believe the reality of his words no matter how hard your heart was telling you to. ‘Why me though? I’m not that special.’ Is your response and the way Pavitr’s face seemed to drop only made your fears all the more real, here he was bearing his heart out to you in a way that you could’ve only conjured up in your dreams and yet you still had to find some way to ruin it by doubting his genuine feelings. ‘Not that special?’ Pavitr repeated, his upset becoming more evident but it wasn’t in due to you but more so towards the fact that you didn’t hold yourself to the same standard that he did; which was pretty damn high. ‘Not that special?’ He repeats again, ‘you’re more then special! To me, you’re the reason the stars are hung in the sky, you’re the reason flowers bloom, birds sing in the morning and why I awake with a smile upon my face and fresh breath in my lungs. To me you’re the reason for my happiness, for my hope for the future and for my beating heart that quickens upon seeing you.’

Pavitr then went onto prove this point by pulling one of your hands that he has in his grasp towards his chest where you could feel it’s quickened pace branch your fingertips. ‘See?’ He tells you, keeping your hand against his chest, ‘that’s because of you and you still don’t think you’re special when your everything I could ever think about? I miss you when your not here but miss you even more when you are because we’re not as close as I’d like us to be but that’s not something I wish to put upon you if it’s not what your heart desires.’ He finished and you couldn’t help but start to tear up, from his impassioned speech to his unwavering acceptance to the possibility of you not feeling the same, only further proved to you how much of a beautiful soul Pavitr Prabhakar was and how fucking lucky you were to be able to know him as deeply as you did.

There was so much going off inside your head that the only response that you could come up with was; ‘Just kiss me already.’ And within a matter of seconds Pavitr had both hands cupping your cheeks as he leant in and pressed his lips firmly against yours, which had you both smiling giddily at the warmth spreading throughout your body as your lips continued to press and weave against one another in such sweet tandem; that at some points you almost forgot to pull apart for air but when you did remind yourselves that you had lungs that were in desperate need of oxygen. You didn’t dare stray too far from one another as Pavitr pressed his forehead against yours, eyes stilled closed and a dopey, lovey smile gracing his lips.

‘I don’t think I’ll be able to top your confession speech but I hope something as simple as this is enough because I like you too Pavitr Prabhakar.’ You whispered against his lips, ‘I like you a lot that when you’d talk about your crush it’d hurt but now knowing what I do now, the brief moment of pain I felt pales in comparison to the light, warm, comforting sensations I get when I’m only with you. For it was all worth this very moment.’ You finished before stealing a cheeky peck from his lips; causing him to whine when you pulled back. ‘No, give me a proper kiss.’ You chuckled but obliged to his requested and gave him a proper kiss to the lips, though this time Pavitr’s hands moved to your waist and your hands took to cupping his cheeks and soon you were back to feeling that lighthearted and warmth place.

[gimmeyourlovepls]

miles + his girlfriend headcannons

miles and his girl who he lets ramble about random facts while she plays with his hair

miles who lets her doodle hearts and stars on the palms so when he goes home hes reminded of her

miles who learns how to make origami hearts to leave for her to show her how much he cares, even though he cant buy expensive gifts

miles who doesnt mind being the big spoon, but liked to be the little spoon so your arms wrap around him like your hugging a teddy bear

miles who will make little sketches of things that remind him of you, your favorite flower, lyrics from that song you hum, and shows it to you on your anniversary

miles who allows you to dote over his wounds, looking away from you when you ask where he got this hurt (he'll tell you, soon. ...soon enough.)

miles who watches over you in his suit, making sure you get home safely

miles who will also talk to you in his alter ego, becoming your friend and letting you tell him about what your boyfriend did for you, listening to every word

miles who will sit on the roof of a building with you, counting the stars and talking about everything and nothing, ending it off with a kiss

miles who reveals his secret identity after a while, not wanting you to find out in a different way

miles who stays a bit farther to you, not wanting his enemies to find you

---

his girlfriend who misses her man, searching for more time with him instead of feeling like shes loosing him

his girlfriend who finally grabs some of his time, sitting him down for a talk, and at the end, both of them feeling a lot better after

his girlfriend who sends him tiktoks that remind her of him, knowing that he will watch them all

his girlfriend who makes him snacks and pastries, letting him be her taste tester for everything

his girlfriend that kisses his cheek whenever he has to leave, telling him to be safe even though he has more experience in battle then you

his girlfriend who love his unconditionally, despite all his flaws, and she know he loves her too despite hers

idk this came out of nowhere, trying to write again 😭 ate my midterms so im back to work again

[csuitebitches]

How to Build the Woman You Want to be - 3

In the first part, we talked about ideation. Who is your ideal self?

In the second part, we talked about executing. How do we reach your ideal self?

In this part, we’ll discuss failures, missing goals or having a burnout, and structuring your routine.

Start every single day reading your New Story. You could even record yourself saying it and play it in the background while getting ready for the day. It is so important that you have to start believing in your improved self and start behaving that way.

If you can listen to Taylor Swift’s 10 minute version of All Too Well in one go, you can listen to 3 minutes of your New Story everyday.

You will not be able to be “her” if you do not start living, eating, breathing, sleeping like her.

While you work on yourself, remember these things:

First of all, none of your goals should be exhaustive in nature. If you’re new to working out, don’t work out for one hour - start with 20 minutes. Work your way up. Take as much time as needed but you need to be consistent.

Two, allow yourself to have a certain number of rest/ lazy days in a month. I limit myself to 3 because of my tight work schedule, but in my opinion, don’t go more than 5. When you use these, use them fully. Allow yourself to be completely relaxed- don’t feel guilty or bad. We all need those days.

Three, it’s fine to not reach all your monthly targets. What’s not fine is making excuses about them or not taking accountability.

“I missed my reading target because I would read after work, and I soon realised how tired I would be after getting home. To solve this issue next month, I’ll start my day reading 5 pages instead.”

Show yourself accountability and honesty. Offer yourself an alternative solution.

Four, do not compare progress to someone else.

Everyone is different - right from their mental capacity, to their body type, to their discipline. Your friend may show better results than you but that doesn’t mean that you won’t show any. Recognise your own progress and don���t be let down by someone else’s. Show genuine appreciation when your friend meets their goals - and don’t feel threatened by it. Everyone has a pace of progress, and it’s important to find yours in order to live sustainably.

Five, do not get into “get rich quick” type of schemes. I can assure you right now that your little crash diet is not going to work. It’s going to make things worse. Choose a healthier, slower method. Set small, achievable targets. You will thank yourself later.

Six, be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses. Recognise your flaws but also recognise your strengths. It’s not narcissistic to tell yourself that you did well. Build that relationship with yourself.

Seven. Work on yourself in silence. Don’t broadcast your progress to people at every turn. While the external validation is nice, it’s important to be resilient and not be dependent on someone else’s praises. Be more private. Share your progress and goals after achieving them so that they can’t be affected in any way.

Eight. Learn uncomfortable truths about yourself and the world. Understand that not all discomfort is bad.

[mischieveousmayhem]

continuation of the series "Mom, we miss you", Bruce's point of view without his wife

My love, I failed

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x Batmom! Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Mention of death (obviously), Bruce ooc

Synopsis: Bruce took a chance to love again. Only to lose her.

A/N: okay a few things, thank you for all the requests ima work on them asap. second of all , back by popular demand we're gonna do Bruce. Third, I did Bruces differently;). Lastly, I might do Alfred too cuz like he's part of the fam too 🤭 anyways enjoy

THE MASTERLIST

—

"Dear Y/N,

I only want to talk to you, so here I am. You're gone and I realize that. But I miss you so much and can't accept your death. I know you wouldn't want to see me like this, I know you would want me to be strong but I simply can't because you were my strength.

I have not seen the boys in months after your funeral, only one I've seen is Jason and that is because sometimes I will sit out here with him.

I call myself Batman and claim to be a hero. But you were more of hero then I am. You even had your own power. The power of love.

When you first came into my life, I didn't except us to adopt so many kids together or have Damian around. Hell, I didn't even expect us to ever get married. You used that power of love and casted a spell on me.

For all these years you have dealt with me, and I don't know how or why. I know I was a little bit rude to you sometimes but you still dealt with it even when I hurt you. When I got in that bad mood, you always found a way to bring me down to feel like myself again.

As for the boys, they each had their own flaws when they first came into our lives. But to you their flaws made you try even harder to show them you loved them. However, I will never understand how you get the boys to cling onto you like they did. Maybe you just showed them the mother's love they were missing in their life. Hell, you even showed me mother's love, and you are my damn wife.

But my darling, I never got to apologize to you properly. Out of all the times I should've, you came and apologized like it was your fault. I never even said I forgave you most times, because most times it wasn't your fault.

I'm sorry for how I was towards you most of the time. Especially when you were upset about me putting myself and the boys in danger. I realize how bad it was. I apologize for all the times I broke your heart, and didn't help you put it back together.

But last of all, I'm sorry for sleeping with Talia while you were gone that one time. I don't understand myself why you stayed. I know that caused you so much pain and it ate at you when you found out Damian is my biological son.

For going through all this you are proven to be the strongest person I will have ever known.

My love, I failed you. I have said this when it's too late but I hope you're watching me and listening, because I want you to know I'm sorry.

Your pain and suffering has ended. Your long with your mental health is over. You were super strong , and thats why you are The Batmom.

I love and miss you,

Bruce Wayne."

He was crying the whole time he read that to your grave. Which secretly had nothing in it.

Why?

The public visits your grave and Bruce knew they would. But all of your boys had some of your ashes. Tim, had the most.

Bruce had a locket with your wedding picture on it and inside some of your ashes, which he clutched and his tears fell and he read the letter he wrote.

There he sat, underneath the cherry blossom tree at 2:45am, at your grave. His apology unheard by others but hopefully heard by you, Batmom.

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

I Still Love You.

Okay, hi, yes, I am real, I do exist haha, anyway, I'm suffering in college but I miss writing for my cowboy so I'm gonna try to do some magic with this prompt from the lovely @photo1030 about our cowboy and us getting into a fight, the first fight, after they start dating.

SO

Let us start!

Warnings: Arguing obviously, swearing, Arthur feeling bad, you feeling bad, female reader, possibly 18+ themes. Modern Arthur AU

Definitely maybe projecting a little bit of myself into Y/N here but we aren't gonna mention that.

Also don't you dare make fun of me I haven't wrote much recently so my noggin doesn't work, all I know is homework

You scoffed, continuing to wash the dishes in your sink as you listen to Arthur rambling on, trying to make you 'see reason' as he put it.

Usually you couldn't find a single thing wrong with Arthur. For the most part he was the perfect man. Of course, he had his flaws, as all humans do, but you guys had NEVER had a fight before, but lately...you couldn't help but fume at him.

He was just....You loved him, and you loved being around him and typically nothing about him bothered you but....

You couldn't help it.

He was just so damn...Stubborn! All the time!

No matter what, he always had to be right. Doesn't matter exactly what it's about, but he has to be right, even if it's something that YOU know more about.

"Jus' listen to me Darlin', it'll be so much easier for us to do this if we jus'-"

"I told you Arthur, that's not it, that's not gonna work!"

You sigh and turn around, leaning on the lip of the sink, your arms crossed as you look at him.

"You know, JUST as much as I do, that if we want to move in together at some point that we should invest in a place for BOTH of us, not just me moving in with you or you moving in with me."

"It'll save us money if you jus' move in with me-"

"And it'll save our relationship if I don't feel like I'm a visitor in a place that I didn't purchase. That's YOUR apartment, with YOUR decorations, YOUR pots and pans, YOUR shower curtains, EVERYTHING is yours, and even if I brought some of my stuff in, it's not MY place or OUR place-"

"So now our relationship needs savin'?"

He snorts and copies your body language, crossing his own arms as he stares down at you.

"You livin' with me, regardless as to if it's at your house or my apartment is the same as us buyin' a place together, and our relationship is just fine, it don't NEED savin'. At least I didn't think it did until ya said that."

"Oh my god, you are such a stubborn jackass."

You grind your teeth, standing up straight.

"It doesn't need saving, not YET. Arthur, a place of our own, together, would be better for the both of us, and you KNOW that."

"We would save much more money if we just moved in to one of the places we ALREADY own-"

"That wouldn't be OURS-"

"We would MAKE it OURS darlin'-"

"Arthur, why can't you understand-"

"Why can't YOU understand, I'm tryin' to save us money in the long run, money we can use to save up and buy a house later down the line, when we need one."

"Jesus, Arthur! How am I supposed to even move in with you in the first place when all you can do is try to prove you're right about everything all the damn time!"

You throw your hands up in defeat.

"You just have to always, always, always be right, don't you? You can't just understand or accept that someone else MIGHT be right!"

"You know damn well that ain't true!"

Arthur stands straight himself, putting his hands on his hips.

"I ain't tryin' to prove shit!,"

He pokes you in the chest, right under your collarbone

"I'm TRYIN' to make things easier on us! I'm tryin' to do somethin' good for the woman I love, but clearly you ain't very appreciative about it!"

"I would be, if you didn't always have to be so damn pushy, always 'oh well actually we should do this its smarter' shut UP Arthur, shut UP. It's not always your way or the highway!"

You smack his hand away, scowling at him as he shakes his hand and puts it back on his hip.

"You know how awful, how fucking stupid you make me feel, all the time!? Even when I'm RIGHT, you make me feel stupid because there's always some other way that we can do things that you always deem 'better'. What is it? You just don't like the fact that I can do things? That SOMETIMES, I have good ideas?"

"What? What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"You know what I'm talking about-"

"I don't!"

He groans in frustration and moves to your fridge, opening it to get a beer out.

"Oh, and you're gonna help yourself to my drinks too, right? That I paid for?"

"This ain't even yours! I bought these, I brought 'em over for me when I visit! You don't even like this brand, hell you drink them fuckin' fruity drinks, the what....the Smirnoff or whatever the fuck it is."

He pops the bottle cap off.

"'Sides, what's the matter? You ain't never been upset about sharin' with me before."

"It's not the point!"

You groan and move past him into the living room.

"The point is Arthur, you always have to be right. Always. You make me feel like an idiot. Even if I know something more than you. Hell you'd tell me I was wrong if I was talking about what I majored in, in college."

"Oh I would not-"

He states, following you into the living room.

"You just did it again! Just there!"

"I ain't doin' shit!"

"AND AGAIN!"

Arthur gives a huff and puts his drink down on the coffee table, pinching the bridge of his nose with his other hand.

"Look, Darlin', all I'm sayin' is, if we make a budget and live together at my place, or at yours, we can save up money, and EVENTUALLY get a place together. a NICE place. A GOOD place, that's big enough for us, and what I HOPE is eventually our family."

"Why can't we buy a place that's already a good place?"

"You have to have MONEY Y/N!"

Arthur closes his eyes briefly, and crosses his arms again.

"Christ, Y/N do you ever fucking listen?"

"Oh like you're any better-"

"I am!"

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you!"

The two of you stare at one another, fuming, both of you clenching your jaws.

"Get out."

You murmur softly.

"Get out and go home."

"Really? You're gonna kick me out?"

"Yes, go!"

Arthur stares at you for a moment, and then moves around the couch and takes a seat, kicking his feet up on the coffee table after grabbing his beer.

"No. Not until we talk this through. I ain't lettin' either one of us walk away angry."

You angrily groan and turn away from him, going to your bedroom. You slam the door shut behind you and lock it.

You take the time to breathe, putting your hands through your hair, trying to keep yourself from being too angry.

You move to your bed and take a seat, letting yourself think.

Granted, yes, neither of you had been extremely awful to one another, but you had said some pretty mean things, and after sitting there for about twenty minutes you started to spiral.

That was a dick move of you. A dick move of him too but...what if....

You shouldn't have said anything like that to him, calling him a stubborn jackass, telling him to fuck off, you shouldn't have said those things.

You think it over more and more, and the longer you think about it, the guiltier you feel.

Accusing him of taking your food, when you always share your stuff with him anyway, intentionally starting a fight basically.

Its another ten minutes of thinking about how you'd yelled at him, and then you can't take it.

You unlock your door and come out to find Arthur still on the couch, his arms crossed as he looks up at you.

"You done throwin' a temper tantrum, Y/N?"

You go to speak and surprisingly you find yourself choked up.

"I'm...I...I'm sorry, Arthur I..."

You can feel yourself beginning to tear up and you try to wipe your eyes without it being too obvious, but Arthur was able to see it clearly.

"Woah, hey-"

He's quick to get up and move to you, taking your face in his hands.

"Whatchu cryin' for Darlin'? It ain't that big a deal, it's jus' a spat, that's all..."

He keeps his voice hushed, doing his best to try and soothe you.

You just can't help but feel...absurdly guilty, and all the sudden, worried.

"You aren't gonna run away from me, are you?"

You question, looking up at him.

"You aren't gonna leave me?"

"What? What on earth, no!"

He pulls you closer, bringing your head to his chest, wrapping an arm around your head.

"Jesus, Sweetheart no, I'm not leavin' you, it ain't that big a deal, it ain't that bad...it was just a little spat, an argument, couples have 'em all the time...."

He murmurs, and quietly kisses the top of your head.

"I shouldn't have called you a jackass, and I shouldn't have told you to fuck off, and I'm sorry-"

You ramble on, hugging yourself tightly to him.

"I'm really happy you want me to move in with you, I want to move in with you, I love you, I don't mean anything, I don't want you to back out of it, I don't wanna push you away-"

"Darlin', Y/N, please, calm down, okay, sit with me."

He gently guides you to the couch and sits with you, still holding you close to him.

"Sweetheart, I'm not breaking up with you, you haven't pushed me away, and you certainly aren't gonna cause me to back out."

He chuckles quietly and kisses your head again.

"It's just a little argument. That's all it is, that's it. It's nothin' to break us up over. Couples have fights all the time, it's alright."

"I know..."

You breathe out quietly, his voice was certainly soothing you.

Pulling away from him, you look up at him.

"I am sorry though, I am. I shouldn't have said those things....We should talk, seriously talk, take a minute, and CALMLY talk about the whole housing thing we want to do, I don't wanna argue about it anymore..."

"Sweetheart, it's okay, really it is."

He smiles and takes your hand.

"We can sit and talk, that's okay, but you don't have to apologize, I do. Alright? You're right, I tend to try and prove I'm right, and that ain't fair....So we'll talk, okay?"

He smiles at you, and he brushes some of your hair away from your face, looking you in the eyes as he does. That little smile of his is always enough to make your heart melt, and in this case it does plenty to soothe those worries that had so easily snuck up on you.

"Honey, it's alright...really, I mean that."

You nod and breathe quietly.

"I am still sorry Arthur."

"So am I, but I promise...nothing bad is gonna happen between us, okay, nothing."

He smiles.

"Well, good things will." He adds, and chuckles quietly. "We'll sit down and talk, and for tonight-"

He moves, and puts his finger under your chin, making you look up at him.

"I'm gonna take care of you, alright? I'm gonna make sure, you have a good time tonight, we'll have a movie night, and I will make dinner, you're favorite even."

You can't help but chuckle and lean in, kissing him softly.

"Thank you, thank you Arthur, I love you so much and I'm so...so sorry again."

"Stop sayin' sorry, okay? We're both idiots."

That makes you chuckle, and you lean your head against his shoulder, scooting closer.

It was a good feeling, knowing that if you had further arguments, which, you would, as couples do, you could work things out....that he wasn't going to abandon you.

He's a good man, and you...are good too.

[togglesbloggle]

In Defense of Bad Things

'Bad' here meaning mostly 'amateur'; stuff made enthusiastically by people at an unprofessional level. Art with visible gaps between what the artist imagined and what they achieved, products of flawed craftsmanship. I suppose everybody can appreciate them to some extent, it's a rare parent that doesn't put up their kid's drawings on the fridge in one way or another. But it turns out to be a fully general skill you can cultivate, and the more I do, the more I'm glad I did.

Partly, it's the teacher thing; finding delight in amateur work is one of the ways to find delight in the process of learning. Cultivating a love of striving-qua-striving can help make you a force for good in the world, as people start to feel safe trying to do things when you're around, even when their efforts are wobbly. You get to participate a little more in the process of atoms spinning themselves into ideas, even when there aren't any illusions about whether you're helping cultivate some revolutionary genius in the field.

And partly it's a fabulous way to build community. By necessity, our professional-level skills tend to be at the service of other people, performed for economic benefit; that's kind of how you get professionally good at something in the first place. When we're acting for our own sake, and among friends, most of what we do with one another is amateurish. I only cook middling-okay, I can't hold a tune that well, I'll never be a speed runner for anything. If you can only enjoy singing from the hundred best singers in the whole world, manufactured and polished by major studios, then you and your friends will sit shoulder-to-shoulder and passively listen to music. But it's so much richer an experience to sit face-to-face, actually singing together, even badly; you expose yourself to so many new ways to appreciate and respect one another, building relationships on what you've accomplished and not just by witty criticism or liking the same things.

And partly it's because some of the most powerful and innovative artistic experiences are in high-churn environments with low expectations and low barriers to entry, if only because those catch the passionate and driven young people that have been otherwise overlooked by our systems. The golden age of webcomics meant that a ton of the actual art involved was pretty lousy, but it also produced work that people still talk about today. D&D began as a profoundly unpolished collection of handmade rulebooks sold at cons in a plastic baggie. By the time these products of enthusiastic amateurs filter themselves through various levels of popularity and absorb mainstream cash influx, they're often risk-averse and missing a lot of the bold spark that inspired their fans in the first place; others will simply never drift towards the mainstream at all. I'm not saying you should be the person who goes out to dig through the slush piles of the internet looking for overlooked art, unless you want to be-- but sometimes a work of actual staggering genius also happens to be a Supernatural fanfic by a first-time author who's a little hazy on commas, and if that's a dealbreaker, you're going to miss out on some profoundly valuable experiences.

And hiding behind all of these things is, like...

Our appreciation of beauty has an odd structure, right? When things are done very skillfully, by brilliant artists with years of training, we can usually appreciate those accomplishments. And when we're looking at nature without human influence, and especially when we think very deeply about natural processes and understand them in context, we often rediscover that sense of beauty. There's just this bizarre hole in the middle where we declare things 'ugly'; as if a little skill is worse than none at all.

I really don't trust that gap. It feels like a trick my brain is playing on me, you know? It has me suspicious that a lot of what I consider 'ugly' or 'bad' is not a very direct experience of the world at all, or an informed judgment. That it is, rather, a declaration of (self-, social-) identity; a desire to be seen as a person of good taste, or as somebody who does things well, or just more primitively as one of the monkeys who is in the good-stuff-tribe and not one of the monkeys who is in the bad-stuff-tribe.

[florestmoon]

Just His Luck. (Eddie Munson x Reader)

Previous. <> Next.

Summary: Eddie comes to a realization after a drug deal with Chrissy. As he struggles with this, he wasn’t sure why you began to pull away from him, afraid that you can tell exactly how he feels.

Warnings: Eddie’s POV. Slowww burn friends to lovers. Yeah still lots of angst because I love making y’all suffer these two idiots.

Word count: 7.5k?

A/N: my biggest writing flaw is that I hate writing fast pace. When I have an idea, I make sure to focus on small details and I will drag it the fuck out because I read slow burn fanfics and books the size of my head since the age 12 . That being said, I didn’t end this the way i originally thought. So maybe, MAYBE, it’ll be 4 parts. I’m sorry to those who hate that haha. Forgive me <3 THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT LETS GO.

Eddie use to never consider himself a lucky person.

He didn’t think he could be considered a lucky person when his father had made it clear how much he couldn’t care less about his own son. His drunken rants still a vivid memory.

Someone who’s lucky didn’t have to be forced out his childhood home and hike all the way to another town to find an uncle he wasn’t even sure would take him in.

A lucky person didn’t grow up being branded a freak and tormented by most of his classmates for something as simple as playing a fantasy game and listening to heavier music. A lucky person didn’t rely on selling drugs in order to support his uncle, and that said side hustle only adding a bigger target on his back in the small town.

That and many more shitty experiences that made up his life should be enough proof that he, Eddie Munson, was not lucky.

But then there’s you.

You being a part of his life overshadows all the bad luck that followed him. Eddie would go through it all again, his shitty childhood and the very hot and long walk from his own hometown to Hawkins, now that he knows you were waiting to enter his life the moment he stepped foot into that trailer park.

He remembers clearly the overalls you wore when you jumped up from the bike you were sitting on, when Uncle Wayne encouraged him to go outside after a day settling in his new home. You ran to him and introduced yourself with a smile that showed a missing tooth.

That was the moment he knew he experienced his first true luck.

Since then, Eddie could safely say he was a lucky person with the way you stuck by his side. It didn’t matter if his days contained the looks of disgust that were thrown his way, when he knew he would see you at the end of it.

Kind eyes, rid of any judgement, waiting for him.

He really is a lucky person, even if your stressed voice was pushing for a headache that morning.

“Eddie, can you please turn that music down. It’s not letting me see clearly!”You ask desperately from the passenger seat, before twisting your body to look at the back of his van to return looking through the piles of cassettes he had saved.

He laughs but continues to slam his palm on the steering wheel to the music. “I need you to rethink that sentence.”

“Eddie.” You warn and from the tone of your voice, Eddie quickly shuts off the music. You hum happily and return to your search in the mess of his van. After a few moments of you cussing under your breath, Eddie’s name being thrown there a few times and he has to refrain from slamming the breaks, before you pull yourself back into your seat.

“I shouldn’t even be letting you ruin that poor kids ears.” He states once he sees a cassette being shoved into your bag. “Lucas deserves one from my own personal collection.”

“Ha. Ha.” You roll your eyes and he watches you from the corner of his eye, seeing you place your feet up on his dashboard. “I know Lucas will like it. It’ll cheer him up and encourage him before the big game tonight.“

“Right, the game.” Eddie recalls, focusing back on the road. “I wonder what those idiots will tell me today at lunch.”

You hold in a laugh as he continues, “I know they’ll be scared to tell me. I can see their faces already,”

“Aw don’t be mean.” You pout cutely, placing your elbow on the passenger door and looking towards him. “They look up to you, and hate disappointing you. That’s why it’s taken so long to come clean.”

“It’s not being mean” Eddie shakes his head, “I’m not going to be the one to look for a replacement. And I’m not going to reschedule the campaign.” He adds quickly with a pointed look at you that is returned by you sticking your tongue out.

Brat. He thinks fondly. “Anyway, they need to figure that out.”

“Mhm, can’t wait to see them running out like headless chickens trying to find anyone willing to play.”

Eddie shrugs at that. Despite his annoyance at Lucas being taken by the dark side, Jason and his gang, he didn’t actually have hard feelings towards the kid. Who was he to tell him to not pursue something he enjoyed doing? It would be hypocritical of him. And he was mostly annoyed with Dustin and Mike, who haven’t said anything. “They’ll figure it out.”

He reaches over to turn up the music a bit now that you were no longer on the edge of biting his head, something he admits to enjoying a little bit too much. He remembers to mention, “Oh, you wanna hit up the diner to pass time after school?”

“Oh yes!” You sit up, looking at him excitedly. “Can we get a strawberry shake? I’ve been craving that all night.”

Eddie can’t stop the smile as he nods, pulling into Hawkin’s High parking lot. “How can I deny you from that?”

It was a shocker to Eddie when he was approached by Chrissy before he made it to the cafeteria that day. He has his fair share of customers that make up Hawkin’s popular kids. They were the ones to pay the most so he never rejected their offers, even if they later would spit nasty words to him in the hallways.

He never thought he would see the day Chrissy Cunningham would be asking for him.

But money is money. It wouldn’t hurt to see what the deal was. So he waited for the last 10 minutes of the lunch period, telling you and making you wait outside the woods. You complained about coming along but he wanted to play it safe.

He wasn’t fond of bringing you along to his deals. It’s not that he didn’t want you by his side, he did, but there’s been way too many times where his customers would direct their anger of prices to him or you. He didn’t want you to see that, or even deal with it.

“Don’t scare her off Eddie. I know she’s Jason’s girlfriend but she’s actually really nice! So, don’t go doing your usual sneaking up on others and being intimidating, remember that one time you got a bloody nose from it and -“

Eddie hands you his half finished soda can he bought from the vending machine to stop your anxious rambling.

You already finished the one he bought you, but you stopped your monologue and took a sip, content. It was so easy for Eddie to be able to keep you happy and distracted. It made him feel good. “I won’t. Wait for me here, okay?”

——

Chrissy seemed to be distracted when he walked up to the usual spot. Her eyes staring off the distance as he comes up behind her, “Hey.”

He thought his voice was soft enough, but she jumped in her spot and turned around towards him. Big eyes surprised before she lets out a breathless chuckle , holding her arm.

“Woah.” So much for listening to your advice. He holds his hands up. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

The blonde shakes her head, rubbing her shoulder and throwing him a quick smile before sitting down on the picnic table. “No I should have been paying attention. I was zoned out.”

Eddie nods before moving to sit across the table, placing the metal lunchbox on the table between them. Chrissy plays with the sleeve of her sweater as Eddie opens the box to reveal the bags of weed.

“So..” she stammers, looking between Eddie and his box. “How does this work exactly?”

“Oh you know, like any other transaction.” Eddie watches her, “except cash only, and uh, for obvious reasons. “ he tilts his head, “No receipts.”

She nods along before he holds a bag towards her, “I’ll do you a half ounce for, uh..20. What do you say?”

Chrissy stares at the bag, then sighs and leans forward to cross her arms on top of the wooden table. She glances behind her as though expecting someone to show up.

Eddie couldn’t help but feel a bit defensive. Looking past her before he shuts the top down. “Look, uh, I’m starting to get a bit worried here. I really hope this isn’t some set up.”

He thinks back to you waiting for him at the entrance to the woods. What if they saw you there first?

Chrissy looks at him stunned and shakes her head. “No! No, of course not.” She bites her lip then sags her shoulders. “It’s nothing like that.”

“You afraid your boyfriends going to pop up and catch you doing a drug deal with Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson?” He tries to keep the venom from his voice. “Not up to deal with that right now.”

“No really, its-its not that. He’s not even my boyfriend.” She adds, looking at Eddie a bit exasperated. “Not right now? Anyway, I don’t know..”

Eddie mouth forms an ‘o’. He wasn’t expecting that. Chrissy looked back down at her hands and let out another sighs.

“Oh. Well shit.” He laughs awkwardly and leans against his palm. “Uh, sorry about that? Uh..” he shrugs at her when she looks at him again. “I’m kinda surprised, didn’t he express his undying love for you this morning at the prep rally.”

She smiles sadly as she recalls that earlier morning and nods, “It was an argument after. He gets really overprotective. He didn’t like me agreeing to go to a party with a few friends and one thing lead to another and,” she does a hand motion, “It got too much, and I said I wanted a break.”

He hums, tapping his finger on the table before shaking his head. “Oh so he’s that type. Cant say I’m surprised with how he carries himself.”

Chrissy smiles at that, “Yeah. I’m just still kinda sad about it, he means well. But I’m not fragile or anything..so I thought to try something..to make me not think so much about it and go against what he says. Is that stupid?” She asks timidly.

“No. Not at all. Happens to all of us.” He says, opening the lunch box back up. “Uh I do sell blunts, it’s pre rolled and all. It’ll be easier for you to smoke. Seeing as this is your first time..”

He rummages through the box then clicks his tongue. He forgot he smoked his last one that he had in his box with you last night. “Problem is I only have them back in my trailer. So if you really want, you can drop by tonight..or I’ll bring them tomorrow.”

“I have no where to be after the game anyway.” She shrugs, nudging a stick against the dirt under the table with her shoe. “I was suppose to be with Jason, but..”

“Okay, cool.” He looks down at the lunchbox then decided to try to a bit more comforting, with the way she still looked so down. “If it makes you feel any better. He may be a total dick. But it’s disgustingly clear he uh loves you.”

Chrissy smiles fondly at that. Eddie continued, feeling weird he was even talking on behalf of someone he hated, “and uh, sometimes people are very protective over people they care about and shit. I definitely don’t let the one I care about touch half the stash I sell.”

“Y/N?” She asks, seeming to have perk up a little bit. No longer slouching and her expression was lifting, feeling more comfortable with him.

Eddie smiles at your name, feeling warm. “Yeah. Y/N” He fiddles with the lighter he had taken out of the box moments prior. “But uh anyway. I’m sure you and Jason will get back together in no time, And you’ll be back to being Hawkins favorite Queen and King.”

He says the last part more sarcastically than he meant too, but Chrissy either didn’t notice or didn’t mind because she only blushes.

“I don’t think we could take you and y/n spots though. In being the cutest couple .” She teases lightly after a moment. Eddie freezing in his seat as he registers words, the lighter slipping from between his fingers. . “I always thought you two were so cute. How long have you been together?”

Together.

Him and y/n together.

“W-what..what?!” His laughs nervously, getting up from his seat once he felt his body back in his control. “Couple... Couple? We aren’t a couple.”

Eddie doesn’t know why but the idea had his heart beating fast and face flushing. Couple. You and him, a couple.

Why did he suddenly feel like he couldn’t breathe?

“Oh..” Chrissy frowns again, watching him begin to pace. “I’m sorry. I thought you were.”

“No. No, nope,” he shakes his head fast, looking around the woods as though he was searching for answer. “I mean, she’s my best friend. I’m her best friend. No wayyy man.”

He looks back at Chrissy who was watching him. Eddie notices that the confused expression slowly beginning to turn into an amused smile but hid it behind her sleeve as she looks at Eddie in a way that was making him freak out more.

“What? What’s that look for?” He walks towards the table and leans his hand against the surface. “I-I really don’t like that look Chrissy.”

“I didn’t give you a look, Eddie”

“Yes you did. You’re looking at me like..you know something I don’t!” He pushed himself away from the table again and walks away from the table.

Okay he needed to chill out. This is normal. A lot of best friends can be mistaken for a couple. He seen it happen with Steve and Robin. The amount of times Robin would deny it and act disgusted was too much for her to not be telling the truth anyway.

So he shouldn’t be feeling so surprised that Chrissy had thought that. It just proves you both were that close.

You both were definitely closer than Robin and Steve, that’s for sure. He knows that.

What he doesn’t know is why he feels his palms were beginning to sweat. He stammers through his thoughts.

“We can’t be dating. That’s ridiculous.”

“Okay” She says simply.

“Yeah. Because we’re best friends.” He says again, to remind himself. “Completely platonic. And it would be crazy for that to change? It’s not like she would even see me anything other than a best friend. So really, it’s impossible. What you’re saying is highlyyy impossible.”

He mumbles, ignoring how the thought bugged him a bit, shaking his head. “Yeah.” He finally says it firmly. That conversation was over. 

He’s barely aware of the faint sound of the bell ringing, “So. Uh, I’ll just see you tonight then. You can ride with me and y/n…who’s my best friend.”

Chrissy smiles sweetly and nodded. “Okay.”

—

Chrissy walked ahead and he came out the woods a few steps behind. You waved at Chrissy as she walked by before returning to a weird hop in place motion as you turned towards Eddie. He raised his eyebrow.

“Eddie you took so damn long and I feel like I’m going to pee myself because you thought it was a good idea to let me have two sodas, and we’re going to be even more late to class!” You complain, grabbing his wrist and pulling him along towards the school building. “Have you seen the way those bathrooms fill up ? It’s a like jungle in there!”

He didn’t pay a bit too much attention to the way your hand was wrapping around his wrist, before you eventually linked both your arms together. Because that was normal. You both were always touchy with each other, so it shouldn’t matter. It wasn’t a big deal.

And it wasn’t a big deal the way you were leaning in his space while you both sat in class after. Your body basically leaning across his lap as you stared down at the tic tac toe game he won fair and square. You glared down at his notebook before pulling away with an huff.

“Nuh uh, I don’t remember you putting that X . You did that when I was distracted.”

“That was my first turn. You told me to put it there because you accused me of using a cheating method before.”

“You’re so lying”

“Just admit it, I’m a master at tic tac toe.” He grins, flicking your forehead to push your buttons even more. “A man of many skills” You roll your eyes. “You could never beat me.”

“You underestimate me for the last time, Munson.” You begin drawing the 30th set of lines and he couldn’t stop himself from staring at the side of your face as you thought hard on your first move.

A couple.

Eddie may have had fleeting thoughts about dating you before. Ones he always denied and pushed down because he never wanted for it to see the light of day. He may believe he’s lucky with you being his best friend, but he wasn’t insane. He couldn’t have that much luck in his life.

And he would never risk ruining the chance of that luck he does have. He never wants to lose it.

But Chrissy’s damn words kept echoing, confirming his secret fantasy that he wanted to be reality. And all those thoughts wouldn’t stop streaming in. Like Chrissy’s simple mistake broke the dam that was holding it all in.

Cutest couple.

You smiled happily when he let you win for the first time. Writing a 1-30 on top of the page proudly when he looks towards Chrissy who was sat a few seats towards the side of the classroom, and she was already glancing towards you both. She flashed him a knowing look, and he looked away. The blush back on his cheeks.

Oh he was so fucked.

-

You both did everything together. There wasn’t a time where residents in Hawkins wouldn’t see you both raiding a corner store for late night snacks, or driving around town blasting his music enough for complaints to be filed.

One quick knock at each other’s windows and you both were off to whatever was desired that day or night.

So he couldn’t understand why Gareth had invited only you out to pizza. When everyone knows you and Eddie go everywhere together. It’s common fucking knowledge for Christ sake.

And why didn’t you tell him beforehand?

“Well, I mean, you have to take Chrissy right?” you had argued.

He felt like a little kid that was told no for the first time when you dismissed him after, being forced to watch you leave the room behind Gareth. He won’t admit to anyone that he glared daggers at the brunettes head when he drove away with you in his car.

You should had been in Eddie’s van.

If you really wanted pizza, why didn’t you tell him and he would have given Chrissy her blunts then take you himself. You didn’t need Gareth when you had him!

Chrissy was quiet in the car ride, looking curiously through the tapes. She seemed to be carefully reading through the playlists when he finally broke.

“Okay so..you know how you mentioned about you thinking me and y/n being a couple?” He reminds her which she nods to, “was there..is there something that makes you think that?”

She seems to think for a moment, placing the cassette on her lap. “Well. You both are so comfortable with each other. The way you look at each other too, I remember Jason mentioning how lovesick you looked when we would pass you two in the hallway. And how..” she hesitates but giggles, “you kinda look like a lost puppy following her around.”

Lovesick. Lost puppy.

“Oh Jesus Christ, I’m so screwed.” He groans as he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “Do you realize what you’ve done?”

“You asked Eddie”

“I didn’t think I was that obvious.” Eddie really is itching to grab a cigarette right now. “I thought, you know, I would never think about this. But then you go saying we were a couple..and im looking at y/n,  thinking I don’t want to just look like one, I want us to be one. Shit, shit!.” He curses under his breath and finally gives in, reaching into his pocket with one hand.

“You’re making it seem like a bad thing, Eddie.” She says softly.

“It is. I’m her best friend and I was staring at her in class like some creep, you saw it.” He sticks the cigarette in his mouth keeping his eye on the road. “Now I’m really really pissed that I wasn’t invited to that..pizza date.”

He says the last word in disgust before he can stop himself. The jealousy was making its way through his veins and he hated it. Eddie shakes his head, pointing at himself. “See, this is not good.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” she starts, “You’re not the only one who looks lovesick.”

“What? Are you..” he stops trying to flick the lighter in hand on to look at her. “Does y/n look at me that way? Does..Nah, now you’re just pulling my leg now man.”

Chrissy hums, turning her gaze towards the window.

Eddie couldn’t help but feel some excitement rush through him. He speaks around the cigarette. “Really?”

“I see the way she looks at you.” Chrissy replies carefully , “I don’t think you’re the only one who has pushed down any feelings.”

A spark was ignited inside him. It matched the lighter in his hand as he quickly brings it to the end of his cigarette. He takes a huge drag to try to calm his jitter of nerves.

“Shit.” He blows out the smoke, opening the windows before he did so. “What the hell am I suppose to do?”

“Tell her how you feel.”

“Tell her- really? I can barely collect my thoughts right now!” He rubs his cheek sighing, growing frustrated.

“Maybe a date?” She suggests. “Take her to the diner next to Family Video.”

“We go there every week.”

“Umm. Oh! The bowling alley”

“She hates bowling. Nearly broke my ankle when it was her turn and I wasn’t even in front of her.”

“Okay. A picnic? That can be romantic.”

“It is? We had one a few weeks back.”

Chrissy sighs.

“The movies?”

“We’re banned. We either go to another town or watch a movie in my trailer.”

“Uh okay.., to lovers lake?”

“We go there.” He blushes, “We always sit in the back of my van and drink slushees.”

Chrissy tries not to smile. “How could I ever think you both were dating. That’s impossible, right?”

Eddie groans but nods, completely understanding now.

—

“Hey Gareth!” Eddie smile was tight as he slammed his friend’s locker closed before he was done putting his book away. “How was that pizza last night, hm?”

Gareth only looks up at his band mate and tries to mask his annoyance. “Didn’t y/n bring you a slice, you should know.”

You did. And he ate it happily with one hand on the wheel, with you back in his passenger seated complaining about how unhealthy it was for breakfast.

How it should be, you in his van and no one elses. Thank you very much.

“So,” Eddie clears his throat, crossing his arms and leaning against the lockers with his back pressed against them. The lock digging in the back of his lower spine as he leveled his friend with a more serious tone. “You got a thing for y/n?”

Gareth stares back.

“Nope. Do not do this to me right now.” Gareth attempts to walk away but Eddie grabs his shoulder again to keep him in place. “I already have to deal with those freshman”

“I’m just asking! I mean, it’s a bit weird that you both went to eat pizza together. So , if it was a date. I would like to know. Just, normal best friend things. You know how I am with her.”

“Yes. I do know, unfortunately.” The brunette pushes his hand off. “Look dude, it was nothing more than y/n wanting pizza. Not a date or whatever got your panties in a twist.”

“Cool, cool” Eddie nods, feeling more relieved at the fact. Gareth rolls his eyes and begins walking towards the cafeteria. “Just looking out for you! Don’t want my band mate getting heart broke one. She’s harsh like that.”

“Oh definitely,” Gareth laughs loudly, “so harsh that she wouldn’t stop asking me if she was too mean for not letting you come along. Then wouldn’t stop reminding to bring you a damn slice.”

“She did?” Eddie perks up, and Gareth groaned again. It made him feel a little better that you also were bothered by the fact he didn’t come along. Really, he wasn’t sure why he was so worried last night.

All that hope Chrissy started was growing more and he couldn’t help the bump in his step as he walked beside Gareth to the cafeteria.

“You both are hopeless.” Gareth states which Eddie ignores once he sees you sitting at the lunch table.

-

“She got uncomfortable by my pathetic attempt at flirting.” Eddie recounts later that week and sits himself on the stairwell. Chrissy fixing the bow in her hair as she listens to him. “I was trying to invite her to movie night, but she got quiet. And didn’t want to look at me then made an excuse that her stomach hurt.”

“I told you, maybe she was actually sick.”

“No. I know her.” He huffs, “I can just tell. Then the other day, we were laughing over some of the yearbook pictures. And she gave me that stupid smile of hers.”

It was vivid in his head. You were trying to speak between giggling as Eddie pointed out some funny pictures. Then he turned the page and there was the both of you, surrounded by the rest of the hellfire club and you were mimicking his devil horn signature minus the tongue.

“We look so cute!” You gasped, pointing at the photo. “I’m surprised they even put that there. I guess Mike begged Nancy.”

You looked up at him and smiled brightly, “I need to get a copy of this so I can put it up in my wall. Or maybe even on the side of my mirror..”

Eddie had nodded, distracted by the intensity of your smile. The way your eyes sparked and you seemed so excited at the prospect of having a photo of Eddie and you together.

It was moments like these. When he felt it was only you two, in this bubble that froze time, he would nervously glance at Chrissy. Who often was watching these tender moments and would hold up a small thumbs up to encourage him. Because even if he did slowly grow more confident, he needed reassurance.Hence his meetups with the cheerleader so he could recount these moments for advice.

It was a delicate matter, and he trusted Chrissy to not let him fuck this up.

But when he looked back at you, you had pulled away, breaking the small bubble and was staring down at the yearbook. No longer smiling.

It was becoming a habit. This pulling away, your smiles suddenly disappearing at random moments when he thought everything was going great.

“And I don’t know, one moment it was there. Then I looked away, and it was gone.” He recounts to Chrissy. “It’s been happening more often. I’m starting to think, maybe we both are wrong and I’m seeing it wrong, and I’m too obvious and she’s noticing. And uncomfortable. And..shit I don’t know.”

“Im sure it’s not that Eddie.” Chrissy sits down next to him on the steps. “Give it time”

And he wanted to. But you only pulled away further after that. You began to be more quiet, often letting him talk and listening instead. Everyday he tried to make a fool of himself more, to be able to see that bright smile that he knew the sun wouldn’t compare to.

Like when he fell to his knees on the parking lot the day he stayed back in class, and he had the chance of bumping into Chrissy to have her reassure him of his worries. Again.

Your laughter instantly making him feel less stupid for the way his knees ached and from the stares of others from his begging. He thought maybe he still could bring you back.

Yet your small smile after reassuring him a few minutes after, proved him wrong once again.

He didn’t understand. Why your once bright and bubbly personality was changing right in front of him. You could barely hold eye contact with him.

Your smiles didn’t reach your eyes.

He use to be able to make you smile, laugh to the point of verge of tears. It was always so easy for him to be able to comfort you and you would be back to your cheerful self. You never had to force a smile around him.

So why were you doing it now?

He wanted to push. Push you talk to him but that was the thing-

He never needed to push before. He would always ask, and you would crumble into your rambling and release all your worries to him. Knowing that he was listening and that his arms were open.

You never held back from opening up to him. Ramblings and weird questions was a daily occurrence. Your random worries always something Eddie welcomed because he loved the sound of your voice.

So for you to sit there, not bothering to make eye contact and insist it was okay, when it clearly wasn’t?

This was different. New territory for him and Eddie was lost. For the first time since he met you.

And those doubts, all those fears that he and Chrissy’s hangouts were meant to beat down in order to prepare him to confess to you, began to latch onto him.

What if you noticed his change in demeanor towards you? He tried not to act too differently after he realized he wanted more, realized he wanted to push his luck a little bit. But he’s been oblivious before, so maybe you noticed his feelings.

Maybe you were uncomfortable by it. Despite his hopes that you felt the same way, he could always be wrong.He could be wrong about his luck stretching that long.

He felt so overwhelmed by it. Anytime he felt saddened by his own mind, he would call you and your voice would keep him calm.

But could he call when you were the reason he was feeling this way?

He tries, really tries to get through the night but the phone is in his hand before he knew it.

-

You hung up on him. He had come close to confessing after you gave him the sweetest speech. Everything he dreamed to hear from you encouraging him to finally say the truth, and you fucking hung up on him.

Eddie stares at the wall across from him, the hallway suddenly feeling too small for him. It was closing in on him as he dialed your house phone again, fingers shaking as he listened to the multiple rings play out. After the 6th ring, he slammed the phone down.

“Fuck!”

—

“I need you.” He wills himself to not cry right there. Listening and waiting on the other side of the bathroom door. His body running on the adrenaline from the argument moments before.

He didn’t mean to blow up on you the way he did. He never once raised his voice towards you, but he couldn’t stop it. All the confusion, hope, and fear reached its breaking point when you tried to avoid him once again. The lies coming right out your mouth stabbed through him.

You never lied to him before. That’s what hurt. You lying and hiding from him made him want to break everything in sight but also, to break down crying himself.

Chrissy was wrong. He let her misconceptions warp his brain into thinking that he deserved anymore luck than what he had. He should have been grateful, for what he had already. This friendship that you built, who was he to wish for more?

Eddie Munson was not suppose to be a lucky person.

He pushed his limits and you were pulling away. Not only did he stupidly believe he had a chance of more, he may have forced the universe to rip away what they gave to him. Your silence an indication of that.

Eddie wiped the tear that ran down his nose, from leaning his forehead against the door trying to listen to anything from you. He pulled away as the silence stretched on. The hurt worsening as the seconds ticked by.

Fuck this. He shouldn’t have been so stupid.

—

He didn’t expect you to come to his trailer right after. Or for the way you began to ramble and pace around his room, your nervous voice filling his room in a way he had grown accustomed to in the years of friendship.

He missed it so much. He didn’t care if he still felt heartbroken at his realization that he couldn’t have you the way he wanted. Destroyed that he couldn’t even be lucky enough for that.

With you smiling softly at him, not a forced one after so long, as he held your cheek and apologized himself. He decided that he will gladly accept what he has now because you being there, laughing and kicking your feet as he carries to his van-

That was enough luck for him.

—

You slept in his room that night. Your socked foot nearly kicking him in the chin as you turned, stretching your body out as a yawn forced its way out. He opens one eye, glancing at his windows to see that it wasn’t that bright outside yet.

He drowsily waits for you to fall back asleep again, listening for your breaths to even out so he could go back asleep himself.

But you sat up, rubbing your eyes and pulling the blankets with you as you stand from his bed and stumble awkwardly towards his bedroom door.

Your small ow from kicking his lunchbox has him groaning loudly, pushing his face into his pillow. “What are you doing..” he rasps, hating to open his eyes to try to make out the numbers on his clock. “Its 6:00 am. We have an hour.”

He remembers the morning before, when you left earlier before he woke up. This wakes him a bit more, anxiety there as he pushes himself up from the comfort of his bed to a sitting position. You looking at him sheepishly from the door.

“I need to make a call.” You whisper, the large blanket wrapped around you making you look ridiculous. You seem to know what he was thinking as you continue to reassure him, “That’s all Eds. I’ll come back .”

“Hurry up.” He sighs, not bothering to ask who you could be calling this damn early, before flopping back on the bed and hugging the pillow.

Even if he was really sleepy, he stayed awake waiting for you to come back. His hand reaching out to touch where you were laying before, sighing impatiently at your absence.

You came back about 5 minutes later, climbing over him, kicking his side, to get to your side of the bed. He hums at feeling you lay back beside him, grabbing onto the blanket and pulling it, forcing you to roll over as it was still wrapped around you.

“Don’t be stingy, its freezing.” He murmurs. You smile and unwrap it before throwing half of it over his body. It becomes quiet then. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know you were facing him.

Your hand grabs his and Eddie falls back to sleep.

Eddie wasn’t sure how to feel about the way Max had narrowed her eyes at him after you both woke up again and gotten ready for the day. As though she was trying to burn him alive with just her mind.

She was waiting outside on her porch when you waved her over towards the van when you stepped out of his trailer.

“I called early, let your mom know you’ll be catching rides with us now.” You smile at the redhead, whom only sighs and gets up. “I can’t have you riding that scary bus”

“You only rode it for one day.” She states, rolling her eyes. Max looks at Eddie for a moment before shoving her backpack into his arms. “I call shotgun.”

You smile at that, shrugging at Eddie who stared between you two. “I’m cool with that.”

Now he understood why Lucas was always so confused with Max’s behavior. Sure, he had eavesdropped a few times when the kids gossiped about their love life, or what a 15 year would describe a “love” life. Most of the time he was bored if you had to stay in between classes, so he would let them go on and on about what else happens in their lives.

Lucas would complain that Max was avoiding him, or she was meaner than usual. Whom he had to remind, well her brother died in a mall fire the year before. Give her some time.

But he didn’t think she was this mean.

“This is what you listen to all day ?” She scoffs, noticing the Iron Maiden cassette case on the floor of the van. “Don’t you have anything less..”

“Scary?” You butt in, ignoring Eddie’s look of concern from you putting yourself between the seats. Clearly you didn’t understand his need for you to be safely seated.

“No, shitty.”

“Hey, don’t knock it until you realllyy listen, okay?” He cuts off your small giggle, reaching over to turn up the volume a bit. “This, Max, is real music. It’s not just about how it sounds, but the complex lyrics and-“

“Oh god, make him stop.”

“Keep going Eds.” You place a handle on the drivers seat as your other hand pull gently on one of his curls. He perks up at you defending him. “Tell her about the verrry deep lyrics of Ladies Room by Kiss.”

Maybe not. 

“Okay, how about you,” he gently pushes you back, “Sit down! You know I hate when you do that.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you laugh, reaching for your bag and getting distracted by searching inside it.

He missed that. Your laugh and the smiles you been throwing at him all morning. It didn’t make it any easier for him though. It felt like his heart was swelling with the amount of adoration he had for you, it was going to be the death of him.

Max was staring at him again. Studying him, trying to decipher whatever she had in mind when he tilts his head at her, expecting for another insult.

She looked away when you called her name and begin to ask her a question.

-

“So everything is okay now?” Chrissy asks, looking over the blunt Eddie had handled to her, sliding some cash to him.

There was a few minutes left of lunch and you had gotten dragged by Robin to join her and Nancy for lunch. Something about girl talk, Eddie not being allowed. It was funny the surprised look on face when they dragged you away. He decided to meet up with Chrissy to talk about the night before.

“Yeah.” He says, happy that it felt true. “She finally told me that she just been in her head again and I guess, it was really bad this time.” He sighs, “maybe if I tried harder to notice, it wouldn’t have gotten to that point.”

Chrissy watches the soft expression on his face. “Figure out when you’ll confess then?”

“I don’t know Chrissy.” He swallows, pushing his bangs out of his face. He really needed to ask you to cut them again. “I think it’s best if I don’t..ruin anything. That whole time I thought she was acting that way because of me, afraid maybe she could tell the difference.���

“And I realized how fragile this whole thing is. And I don’t know,” he drops a stick he was messing with and looks at her. “Im still not even sure how she feels about me. I can’t read her. How can I not read my own best friend!”

He feels like dropping to the ground and never getting up. He felt okay this morning but now Chrissy has him, once again, going on a tangent.

“I made a mistake of calling her that night. And I was just gonna talk then somehow-somehow! It lead to me trying to confess to her. I was this close and she hung up! And acted the way she did.”

“Try again.”

“No, she’s opening up to me again and I have her back. that's all that matters now and we’re back to normal!” He assures. “besides, if she didn't understand my confession, or maybe she did and ignored it. it doesn't matter, we’re good now.”

“Did you straight out say that you liked her?” Chrissy emphasizes on the ‘her’

“…”

“Eddie ?”

“Something along the lines..”

“Right.” Chrissy tugs on her skirt when she stands and crosses her arms. “Eddie how can she know if you’re not saying it clearly.”

“It’s not that easy. I mean, it is easy to talk about how I feel, never had that problem before. We always talk about our problems. But these are..my feelings that may not be returned. And-”

He motions towards her. “And I barely touched how I really feel on that phone call. It was rookie stuff!”

Chrissy thinks. “What are your feelings then?”

“What do you mean?”

“You always are worrying about saying the wrong thing, or if you’re looking into things the right way.” She considers. “Why do you like her?”

“Why? It’s y/n.” He frowns. “Who wouldn’t like her?”

“What about you? Why do you like her, how do you feel?”

Anyone can say that they like how you look, the way hair frames your face, or the way your clothes fit you. Or how you carry yourself or your sweet voice. You were a beauty that Eddie feels like no one should touch.

But for Eddie, it was deeper than that. He could name a hundred things he likes about you.

From the way you wake up with a bird nest as a hair that he often had to take tangles out as you sat sleepily, to how your nose scrunches slightly whenever you hate a certain taste of food but you never say anything to Uncle Wayne when he cooks, or how you would hide your smiles behind your hands when you watched romantic movies and the way your eyes redden at particular scenes.

Or the way you don’t realize how loud you’re being sometimes, ducking your head in shame when you do and he would tell you that it was okay. He likes when you are loud and come out of your shell at random moments.

He likes when you link your arm with his, because you have no problem being touchy. Your hands shoving at him or slapping his arm playfully whenever he annoyed you. The smell of your fruit scented shampoo filling his nose when you invade his space with no care, hugging him during scary movie scenes or when you felt particularly sad that day. That same shampoo brand that has its own spot in his bathroom.

Along with all your knickknacks that you bring to him when you visited the thrift store with your mom. Your excitement at the small things and that fucking smile and eyes.

“I..” Eddie isn’t sure where he could start. There was so much else in mind but those details, those small moments that make up everything in his life, is something he wants to keep to himself.

“ ‘like’ feels so weak compared to how I really feel Chrissy” he finally pushes out. She waits for him to continue.

“It’s different. I feel lucky. Like I have something that is a one in a life time chance..like if I were to loose that, everything would fucking suck. My life wouldn’t have that..shine anymore.”

“Because that’s what she is. She’ s this light, this..” he struggles, he never was one for poetry but dammit if he tries. “This fucking ray of sunshine!”

He laughs and tries to fight back the blush that was waiting to spread across his neck from how cheesy he sounded but he couldn’t stop. “She smiled at me the first time we met and I was like, yeah. Yeah, nothing will match that.”

“And she fits into my life like a lost puzzle, something I was missing before I came to Hawkins. Makes me feel whole and I’ll be incomplete with out her, and..and I just..”

“I’m happy with our friendship. I don’t want to even think about losing that, but maybe..maybe I want to wake up and actually be able to kiss her good morning . And goodnight, and all the time in between. “He revels at the idea. “I already have so much of her,-“

He smiled shyly as he looks at Chrissy, who was looking at him as though she was proud. He was going on for too long, lunch was ending. “But maybe I want that part of her. Where we could actually tell people we are a couple.Where it’s true”

Chrissy wraps her arms around him as he huffs out a huge breath from his emotional speech before she pulls away and smiles.

“Now, find a way to tell her that. On a real date, of course.”

“That’s going to be hard.”

“I know. But you’ll figure it out Eddie.”

He feels that confidence return and he becomes hopeful again.That spark appearing again and fuck it. 

He’s going to test his luck. 

*・゜゜・*:.。..。.:*・*:゜・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゜・**・゜゜・*:.。..。.:*・*:゜・*:

Taglist: @bratckerman​ @beepisbeep @thegirlthatsfalling​ @ssolariiaa @hauntingtherosebush​ @akwzilla​ @fujiihime​ @run-up-that-hilll​ @eddieswifu​ @kaitcreatesart​ @mel119g​ @sole-screws​ @a1hymy​ @lmili​ @lostgirl-28​ @crazyjenny8675309​ @coolsnowker​ @scoopsr0bin​ @raydenrrobertson​ @maximizedrhythms​ @thegirlwhohides​ @waverzzzzzzzz​ @cherry-vamps​ @yourdailymemedelivery​ @bietchz​ @whatareyouhidingpeter​ @shinydixon​ @strangerthingsstories5255 @ureleesian​ @sad-darksoul​ @erisdogwood​ @trinsghost @vaness20 @stiegasaw @guyinachair27​ @boomitsallie1​ @hazydespair​ @natashaashleymarvelromanoff​ @darlingbravebelle @mnskai @minejungwoo​ @iloveeddiemunson13​ 

if I missed anyone or it didn't tag right, im sorryyy ! dm me or reply to this for the next part if you decide to stick around (: ok imma hit post , eat my cupcake and hide bc anxiety and im insecure of this haha. hope you all have a wonderful day. drink water, eat something, rest. byee <33

[soap-ify]

AIM AT MY HEART | eros!john 'soap' mactavish x f!reader.

synopsis — while everyone celebrated love, you met a god. [3.5k words]

tw / cw — mdni 18+, lonely!reader, reader is bit of a loser actually, typical misogyny and objectification of women during that time (just briefly mentioned), spoiler alert soap is eros and is bit of a freak, little breast play, reader is said to be a virgin, cunnilingus, p in v. — please let me know if i missed any tags!

notes — after some research and finding like few different names for love festivals in ancient greece, i decided to stick with calling it the festival of love. this isn't going to be historically accurate or anything, just a silly idea i came up with for valentines. unedited.

It looked like the rain was your date for this festival, the cold droplets gently kissing your skin just the way a lover would.

Every street was simply bustling with people today, all trapped in their own little bubbles forged by them. Married couples and young people in love alike. Now was the perfect time to say that love was in the air. It didn’t disgust you by any means, no. You love love — you wonder if it’s just as dreamy as it sounds. To have someone to call yours, to be touched and to be heard. A feeling that your heart pleaded for, ready to pathetically beg for it even. You don’t see much of it on the streets though, so you wonder if it’s naught but a myth.

Loneliness can mess up with anyone. You were still unwed, always met with the disappointed stares of your mother and the unnerving promises of your father stating that he’d find a groom for you. Probably some old man.

So no, you weren’t disgusted by all the couples roaming around in this festival of love. Just envious, sad — even if some of the love they displayed might just be for the show. On top of that, no one was aware of the incoming rain. Though most were now sheltered somewhere or protected by clothed umbrellas, though meant for the rich. So here you were, strolling in these soaked streets uncovered. Hey, at least the rain was willing to give you some company.

Some people looked at you with a pitiful gaze through the distance. Most men walking in groups whistled at you, staring at you with the most vile eyes. Carnivores. All you could do was just sheepishly stare ahead, doing your best to not look down at the ground while walking and looking like some kicked-out puppy. Even though you definitely did feel like one right now. Fresh food for the predators in the open.

Love. Such a familiarly foreign request. What must you do to get it, pray to the gods? Would Aphrodite listen, or Eros? Why hadn’t they blessed you yet? Taking a turn into the alley, you made the mistake of getting distracted by some plants nearby, instantly bumping into someone. “Oh, sorry, I-” Warm hands steadied your almost falling body, interrupting your apologies. You looked up to see blue eyes staring at you, the scrutiny of the stare making you feel as if he was opening you up like a book and reading everything within.

“Dinnae apologise, hen.” He let you go with a soft chuckle, an understanding smile lacing his lips. The slight amusement in his rough voice was enough to make your heart squeeze unintentionally, your throat going dry as you stared at him with wide eyes.

“Okay.” You dumbly replied and walked past him, not giving any of you a chance to make the conversation progress. How impolite. After all, what were you supposed to say to him? That you’re lonely as fuck and that his voice made you feel all funny inside? You mustn’t lust over a stranger. Probably married.

But oh, those blue eyes were now ingrained in your brain. He had looked at you as if he knew you, as if he knew of each of your flaws.

You missed the way he kept looking at your back while you walked away.

Sleep came to you a bit too easily. It was quite the odd occurrence, considering that you’d always be tossing and turning while staring at the ceiling creepily for a good half hour until you’d fall asleep.

A warm hug to your pillow and you were knocked out within seconds, drowning into slumber.

Darkness. That’s all you could see, that’s all what was within reach. You didn’t know if you were dreaming or not. What you did know was that you felt as if you were floating, higher and higher. Wait, were you dead?

You were just about to reach out to the blankness surrounding you when you felt strong arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you in. When you opened your eyes again, you found yourself in your… bedroom? Bedroom for sure, just more dreamy. As if it wasn’t you who lived here. As if it were the room of the gods. The air seemed lighter, the colours more bright.

You tried to struggle against the strong grip on your waist, your back pressed against something strong. “Quit struggling, hen.” The growl behind you caught you off guard, causing you to go still. That voice. That voice. You remember it all too well, the guy you bumped into in the street earlier.

Once his grip on you loosened, you quickly turned around and faced him, finding him looking at you triumphantly, his body adorned in nothing but a white shawl that covered only one shoulder and his waist. His body was sculpted beautifully, muscles made to be caressed delicately. Perfection, that’s what he was. You caught a small glimpse of the wings on his back — mighty and fluffy. You nervously cowered, mind too overwhelmed to comprehend what was going on here. You were being touched by a stranger. Only tales by some women had warned you about the perverse nature of most men. It terrified you.

Your eyes darted over to the loose blindfold lowered down to his neck, and the set of bow and arrows laid down on your nightstand.

You didn’t know why you were so afraid to look into his eyes. It was as if looking into the eyes of god and being forced to acknowledge all your sins. Was he a god? Or an angel? He reeked of purity, of utter diviness that you couldn’t even dream to look at. Though here you were, being looked at by someone that just seemed so seraphic. It almost made you feel guilty.

“Who are you?” You blurted out, unable to hide the way your hands were trembling. You were forced to look up when you felt something cold gliding against your jaw, soon realising that it was one of his arrows, mapping out your face. Just the way an artist would with his muse.

He was silent for a while, simply observing you. Or maybe just thinking of what to answer you with. What should he tell you? “Ye can call me Johnny.” He finally settled on a name after some contemplation that thankfully went unnoticed by you.

“Johnny…” You tested his name carefully, your hands carefully reaching out to grasp onto his arms, not even realising that you were somehow sitting on your bed now. ”What are you, Johnny?”

“A god.”

And there it was again, that victorious grin. He was proud of the reaction he was getting out of you, the utter confusion and bewilderment etched on your face was nothing short of adorable to him. Poor, poor human.

“Ye looked lonely tonight.” He continued, leaning in closer, his presence seeming even bigger and more imposing than before. “Ye seemed sad. Like a wee lost chick. Made me feel somethin’, ye ken. Sadness f’ye, maybe?” He chuckled and shook his head, gently undoing the blindfold on him. His hands were soft yet rugged, holding yours with great care, gently tying the white silk around your wrists. Not too tightly, just firmly enough.

“Oh…” You weren’t sure why you weren’t struggling against the bindings. Maybe it was due to the fact that your brain had slowly comprehended who he really was. Arrows, playful, love. Eros. You didn’t know what to do, and you definitely didn’t know why you liked it. Gods above, you must be going insane. Wait, he’s a god too. Can he hear your thoughts?

“Yes I can.” He interrupted the raging storm of thoughts in your head with amused nonchalance. You could feel embarrassed heat creeping up on your cheeks, daring you to humiliate yourself further.

“Why is a bonnie lass like ye unwed?” The god cooed, his free hand still holding the arrow and gently tracing your jaw, moving down to the front of your neck, and downward to the neckline of your dress. He didn’t dare to stop there, moving the sharp point of the arrow towards your left breast, grazing against the soft fabric of your clothes. Shove it in, make me find love.

“U-Um…” Your words were caught in your throat, fingernails unknowingly digging hardly into his muscular arms. “I don’t know.” Despite how doltish that answer may have made you look, it was the truth. You didn’t know why you were some lonely maiden staring at the night sky every night, dreaming about the undying devotion you couldn’t reach for.

Johnny didn’t respond to that, satisfied enough to just stare at you. You soon realised that you didn’t feel creeped out by his gaze, you yearned for it. Attention for a god. Even if he viewed you as a lamb of some sorts, temporary affection was making you feel alive.

“I’m not gonna sacrifice ye or anythin’, hen.” He read your mind again, and he was enjoying it way too much. It made you feel a bit frustrated, a bit too desperate.

“Why am I unwed?” You shooted his question back at him, daring to meet his eyes. “My mother hates me and my father, he… Just why can’t I be one of the blessed?” You unintentionally hissed, met with nothing but a mirthful grin plastered on his lips. Would it be a sin to think of a god as some bastard?

“Ain’tcha clever for shootin’ my question right back at me?” He sounded almost proud at you, slowly putting the arrow down and easing you down to lay on your bed properly, putting your tied wrists above your head. You were being so easy for him too, despite the irritation adorning your face. Your body had been starved for this, for some touch.

You didn’t make any effort to stop him as his fingers skillfully undid your garments and teasingly began sliding them off, revealing more and more of you until you were all naked in front of him. A meal for the god. You weren’t worried about being touched like this, especially when you were still not taken. The cool air hitting your skin made your shiver, your legs rubbing against one another.

“I have never been… used before.” You didn’t know how to word it. Well, he probably knew anyway. That’s what was expected from a modest woman. Being innocent and a virgin until she was on her marital bed with her groom.

“Stop thinkin’ so much, hen.” He silenced you by pressing a chaste kiss on your neck, your lips letting out an involuntary whine. Heaven touched you from his lips, and you felt love for the first time.

“Poor ye, so desperate for affection.” You felt his stubble tickle your cheek as he whispered into your ear, the sensation making your body jerk slightly, your wrists lightly tugging against the silk binding. You felt so sensitive, being aware of everything going on while simultaneously being confused by this foreign feeling building up inside you.

“Don’t tease me…” You whimpered almost pathetically, wishing that your hands were free so you could run your fingers through his untamed patch of hair, or just caressed the slightly shaved sides of his head. “It’s not funny.”

“If ye say so.” He snickered, pressing kisses on your cheeks and the side of your neck, making you whine a bit at the ticklish feeling, blood rushing to your face as you squirmed under him. His large hands slowly begin to caress your torso up and down, fingers rubbing against the softness of your softness before sliding up to cup and size your breasts up, thumbs carefully touching your hardened up nipples.

Despite the way he clearly enjoyed teasing you, he handled you with an equal amount of gentleness. It was so considerate, something you hadn’t heard from the tales some of the women would tell you about men.

“How does it feel?” He asked you, his gaze almost warm.

“Good…” You replied weakly, unable to find your voice amidst all the emotions you were feeling. You leaned into his touch, eyes lazily half open, trying to admire his face properly. It felt like a crime to look at such beauty.

He leaned down and started pressing soft kisses along the valley of your breasts, feeling the rise and fall of your chest with every breath you took. Why must he kiss your body as if he was worshiping you? As if you were the god, not him.

His lips traveled down to your naval before finally reaching to between your thighs, his hands moving down to gently part your legs open, feeling them tremble slightly once his eyes settled upon your sweet cunt, already glistening with arousal. "Can I?" He asked, earning a shy nod from you.

"Yes..."

“M’happy my arrows never hit ye before.” He mumbled before pressing a soft kiss against your puffy folds, hearing the way your breath hitched. “Happy that nae one got to touch a bonnie thing like ye yet. All saved for a god, eh?” He sneered, his fingers gently parting your folds so he could properly look at your clit, pressing a kiss right on it.

The sudden sensation made you let out a soft moan, fingers trying to reach for the silk binding on your wrists. Sensitive. Sensitive yet so good. “Johnny…”

His breath alone continued to fan your cunt for a few seconds, his blue eyes looked up at you from in between your thighs before he dived in, his tongue licking a fat stripe. Your hips bucked at that, seeking more of this friction as he hummed at your taste, his tongue making contact with your clit and pressing against it, feeling the soft pulse underneath.

He had to stop himself from biting you, that’d scare you away. Maybe some other day. For now, his hands gripped your plush thighs firmly and kept them apart, feasting onto your cunt hungrily, drool sliding down his chin as he sucked and licked on your twitching clit, feeling it get swollen and all achy with need. You just tasted so good, better than all the things many worshippers would leave at the temple. He wondered if you’d be willing to be his forever, to let him taste you everyday.

It all felt so good and overwhelming, you could feel your eyes tearing up. He went on and on until you felt your orgasm crashing into you suddenly, a bit prolonged as he kept his mouth latched onto your cunt, feeling your hips buck needily, shaky mewls leaving your lips while he eagerly lapped up your release.

You collapsed back breathless, almost in daze, every inch of your skin tingling with the pleasure coursing within you. Your glossy eyes looked over at Johnny who had just finished lapping your cunt up, now proceeding to nip and suckle onto the plush of your thighs, making you writhe. “Next time, m’gonna make ye squirt all over my fingers.”

Next time? Fingers?

Hope bloomed in your otherwise desperate heart as you nodded hazily, soft pants leaving your lips after your orgasm subsided. You felt him climbing on top of you, the soft rustling of clothes making your fingers twitch, your eyes looking over at him through the semi blurry vision. The white piece of cloth he had been wearing slipped off him, falling down to reveal the entirety of him. Big, powerful. He was indeed a god, sculpted better than the statues. You didn’t want to imagine what he could do with all his strength.

Your eyes fell onto his left pec, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart twinge oddly. If you were to stab him with his own arrow, would he love you?

You did your best to not look in between his legs, somehow clinging to the thinning string of modesty.

“Ye’re makin’ me feel unattractive.” That cheeky pout on his lips made you huff softly, your face feeling too warm. Just when you were about to protest, he leaned down to press his lips against yours, silencing you with a kiss.

You felt as if you had sinned, while stepping close to Heaven at the same time.

You let him guide you, his lips parting against yours while you obediently followed him, finding yourself drowning into this kiss. He might as well swallow you whole now, you’d be happy.

One hand reached up to swiftly undo the silk cloth around your wrists, freeing you. You were quick to wrap your arms around his neck, clinging onto him for your dear life, feeling him trying not to chuckle against your lips.

“Look at ye, being so eager. S’cute.” He whispered once he broke the kiss, pressing down into you, making you feel his cock rubbing against your thighs. It felt big, ridiculously enough. You trembled anxiously, finally daring to look down, letting out a soft whimper when your eyes settled onto his cock. You both tried to grind against it and squirm away, your brain melted into nothing but a puddle.

Love — it was threatening to flow out of your chest. Pure, blissful. Your legs lazily hooked themselves around his moving hips, trying to pull him down for another kiss. He was quick to comply, feeling you moan needily into his mouth while he grabbed the base of his girthy cock, lining it perfectly in between your legs. “Fuck… Lemme just-” He knew he had to be extra gentle, he was huge. He carefully eased the the tip of his cock into your cunt, watching you pull away from the kisd and whimper, your warm walls greeding clenching around him, trying to suck him in.

“S’too much!” You whined and bit down onto his shoulder, not caring how hard you might be biting. Your fingernails dug into the firm muscle of his back.

“Ssh, ye can take it.” He hissed under his breath, pulling his face back so he could look down at you properly, one hand gripping the side of your hip while his other reached down to gently fondle your clit in between his fingers. The sudden jolt of pain and pleasure merging together made your eyes roll back, feeling him settle deep within your cunt, some of his cock still not fully in. He wouldn’t dare to anyways, he would never wish to hurt his precious human.

“Such a bonnie lass… Look at how I fit inside ye.” You just looked so perfect underneath him, as if you were made for him, to be filled by him and kissed by him. “Squeezin’ me so tightly, s’too big f’ye, eh?” You shook your head at that, as if you weren’t the one who was moaning about him being too big earlier.

He slowly begin thrusting into you, his heavy cock dragging against the sweet spongy spot inside you, stimulating it. You bit onto your bottom lip, muffled mewls leaving you while his fingers continued to steadily rub your swollen clit, not losing their rhythm. Not even a single halt — the continuous motions caused pressure to build up within you, your legs tightening around his hips.

He eyes moved down to where your body connected with his, aweing at the way his cock was stretching you nice and wide, making him twitch inside you. Fuck. He couldn’t have a mortal holding such an effect over him, but he was far too gone to even think about that anymore.

“Johnny-! Joh-” Your words drowned into your moans once you felt your orgasm hit you even harder than before, your body convulsing underneath him as you clenched hard around him, causing him to grunt. A pretty white ring formed on his base as he continued to thrust into you, The squelching sounds filling the room were obscene, and served nothing but to arouse him more. His grip on your hips tightened just slightly as he felt his own impending orgasm.

“Gonna fill ye up.” He gritted his teeth.

With one final thrust, he released his hot cum inside you, his thrusts not stopping, fully intending to make his cum stay inside you and not drip out. Your fingernails accidentally scratched onto his back at the sensation of being filled up, feeling all warm.

Your legs and arms loosened around him, feeling yourself slump into the soft mattress, all pliable and fuzzy. You panted softly, feeling all sweaty as you stared at him. His hands were quick to craddle your face, pressing a kiss on your temple.

“I might as well just keep ye now for myself, hen.”

You woke up with a jolt, sitting upright on your bed, your breathing laboured. Your inner thighs felt sticky, and your eyes drifted over to your nightstand, catching an arrow alongside a rose laying there.

Would it be possible to be impregnated by a god?