idk man. from 2008 to 2019 i was self-employed. i dropped out of high school in 2006 and then dropped out of college in 2010 and moved to a swamp to watch my great-grandma die because that was the only thing i could afford to do. then i went back to college and lived off student loans for a while. if i managed to scrape together $500 in a single month, that was a very good month. i applied for a gamestop credit card i shouldn't have qualified for and used it to buy taco bell gift cards for when i couldn't afford groceries, then paid a stupid amount of interest on the cost of my taco bell gift cards because i couldn't afford to pay off the balance.
during that period i bought over 2000 ebooks and 600 steam games. i like to believe that i'll read or play them someday. i probably won't, with most of them. but it was nice to have the option. i paid $10 a year for a domain name that did nothing but show a single image when you went there because i thought that was funny. i bought every sims expansion. i bought a ps4 and pretended i was in debt for a ps4 instead of taco bell gift cards and the sims. i barely ever played anything on the ps4, but it was nice to have the option.
when i got a part-time retail job in 2019 ($12 an hour! 20 hours a week!) i felt RICH. i was getting $200-$300 a week! that's so much fucking money! i was spending most of it on gas, and food that i could eat in a store break room without dying. but it was still so much money!! i paid off all my credit cards and then immediately ran them back up. i bought matching couches for me and my cat at tj maxx. i bought a ferris wheel for mini cupcakes. i bought cute dresses and shoes that i never had a chance to wear because the only time i went anywhere was to work, in my work uniform. i was 29 and that was the most money i had ever had in my life. now i'm 32 with a full-time office job and most of my money goes toward debt but the rest of it ends up being spent on dumb shit. every month i look at my budget and try to figure out where it all went wrong and every month the conclusion is, "spent too much money on dumb shit". you would think that i would try to stop doing that, and yet.
it's like. i was poor and now i'm lurking somewhere near the low end of middle class, and in both cases buying dumb shit was simultaneously proof that i would be rich if i could just stop buying dumb shit, and that i couldn't possibly understand true poverty if i was capable of buying dumb shit. i do not know how to explain to people that i will always waste more time and money than anyone ever should on dumb shit that i think is funny. there is nothing i want more than to spend my last dollar on a laugh and my last minute laughing, and no one's insistence that they would use them better will change this.
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2/4/24
The MLM hack list
Alright. So there are a bunch of MLM diet companies that make a shitload of money of of us and yet our obesity rates in developed countries are thru the freaking roof.
How many times have you gotten the messages on Facebook, Instagram or whatever and it's like: Hey girl, haven't seen you since high school, let's get coffee... OR... they just post the precopied message & ask about your goals, & proceed to add a flurry of hyperpositive social media messages, like my friend recently did to me.
Did anyone in high school like you? Not me! Do that screams danger from the start. I was horrendously bullied in elementary school. I was gone to a parochial school for a couple years so the only reason that I avoided constant bullying in high school was because... they forgot who I was.
Here are some ideas I stole from various companies, cheaper:
Herbalife: this company's stuff works, for 2 reasons- you replace 2 out of 3 meals with shakes. However, alot of people are not successful if they make their shakes at home and if they add in all the snack bars. People do, however, lose weight if they get their shakes from a "nutrition" shop. Why? Because they blend those shakes super thick with a metric shitton of ice & I think alot of them add sf pudding, which enhances the thickness. Also, you get an iced tea, normally with added fiber. So the answer is- you have 2 drinks that take a long time to finish AND give you added caffeine & fiber. So? Just do it at home: keep your shake calories low, make it extra large & thicker than a snicker, & follow with a caffeinated tea & add fiber to it. I like the herbalife brand but I order it off Amazon so I don't have to get the whole shpeel. Now brand has "prebiotic fiber" that is cheaper. There is also benefiber from Walmart. It is cheap, so why not?
Beachbody: you don't need to spend a billion dollars on protein shakes or meal replacement shakes. I do, however, love some of their workout systems.
Tai Slim: this company's great idea was the chocolate gluccomannon chews, I just didn't know ot at the time. I have tried to order it but have been unable to so maybe they don't make it any more. So my hack would be- the chocolate calcium chews, some gluccomannon tablets, & a large glass of water.
Modere: this company was all over tik tok & reels for awhile, while the reps were trying to schlep people into this scheme. The Golden Child was the liquid CLA chocolate, probably because it tastes like a chocolatey treat while it is actually a CLA supplement. CLA can be purchased at almost any health food store, way cheaper.
Plexus: the pink drink. More research needed on this, but I think it is just a fiber drink. Hack: gluccomannon powder & a Starburst all pink flavor packet.
Most of these companies often sell an associated "fat burner:" often something with caffeine, ecgc from green tea, etc. You can get something similar at a health food store for a fraction of the price. If you want something fancy, there is Ember from the Ambrosia Collective. Use the Google. MFINGCOO is a discount code that I think still works, but it isn't mine.
The other way these companies are successful is because they have a built in "tribe." Weight watchers, beachbody, herbalife-- they rope you into a bunch of meetings, calls, and online groups. A bunch of people are sharing ideas regularly and getting involved in their cultish antics. You can do this on your own by finding your own people. You can get your own seminars by watching a lot of youtube. Anything that focuses on reprogramming you to cook at home and eat primarily whole foods will probably work. Join free groups. Disregard anything outside of what works for you ( I have to ignore a lot of dessert recipes because they cause bingeing for me).
Lipozene: pretty sure this is just gluccomannon. You can find gluccomannon tablets way cheaper at a health food store. Walmart also was carrying a generic version.
Hydroxycut: pretty sure the active ingredient here is HCA? I don't have a bottle currently to look. But isn't HCA just garcinia? So much cheaper at a health food store. I personally cannot take hydroxycut, it makes me RAGE. I like, get upset and freak out at work, so I don't even think I am willing to try it again.
It works: I think the skinny coffee would be comparable to the "slim coffee," which was cheaper but seemed to be chromium. You can just pick up a chromium supplement... & seriously, you can just drink coffee. Don't add calories to it.
Apple cider vinegar gummies: Just take shots of apple cider vinegar. You can buy a gallon at walmart, it will last a long time. Play with shot recipes, you can do good girl moonshine (ala Trim Healthy Mamma), & use it liberally for dressing recipes.
L-Glutamine: don't remember the company, but this is available at more health food stores, not for $100 a container.
Maybe I have bought so much shit so you don't have it. Is there an MLM company I missed? 🤔 let me know and I will check it out for future posts.
Remember- whatever you do, stay safe. Research your shit. Focus on your daily habits and remember that what you are eating outweighs almost any supplement you could buy. Eat whole food, walk, have an exercise routine & stop expecting a 30 day result for a body that took you 40 years (or whatever) to create.
I definitely don't think the ozempic trend is worth the cost, but if there is no other way for you & you have the money, it is worth a shot. Just don't expect your insurance to pay for it. Many insurance companies are currently not covering it, and I don't really know if they should consider it.
Surgery? If there is no other way and you want to, go for it.
The way that these things work though, is by changing what you are eating. Period. These are all systems to change what you ingest and you can change what you eat for free.
I am still on Nomorbidity & Alkemi from the Ambrosia Collective. I have not found suitable replacements for them but I am also not looking hard, they have a reasonable price point to me.
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You Have the Frugal Right to Repair Your Shit. Or Do You?
NEW POST! You Have the Frugal Right to Repair Your Shit. Or Do You?
Let me tell you about my favorite pair of boots.
They’re calf-high brown leather with a one-inch heel that makes this short Bitch feel just a little more powerful. They’re the kind of boots you can wear with a dress, with leggings, with jeans—they’re exactly as dressy or as casual as you want. I got them almost five years ago for about $200.
Recently, the heels broke. I’d worn them down to the…
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Ugg. My weight isn't until Sunday.
But let's be honest I have been weighing every day and now very fucking well that I am plateaued.
And I have a holiday meal on Sat night.
Motivation to stay the course, right?
I am thinking I am going to pack a cucumber and a meat stick to right right before I get there so I am not super hungry.
Cucumbers are my current fav snack. The large English ones.
I eat the peel too so I am sure someone will say that I am unhealthy.
It is speedy tho. Grab n go.
I might need to get rid of my protein bars.
They are sweet. I eat on every day.
But would I eat 200 cals of turkey for protein?
Idk.
Thoughts. It has been a tough week.
Work has been super fucky.
And I took extra hours for the holidays.
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