#cookblr

[xiaonyc]

˖⁺ ⊹ 𝓫𝓪𝓫𝔂𝓼 no-oven pizza recipe <3 ⊹ ⁺ ˖

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓭𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼 ‧₊˚ ⋅

✩ crust: 1.5 tsp instant yeast, 1 tsp sugar, 1 C warm water, 2.5 C flour, 2 T oil, 1 tsp salt

✩ sauce: 1 tomato (diced), 4 T tomato paste, water (enough to thin sauce), salt, pepper, oregano to taste [opt. pinch of sugar, 1 grated garlic, 1 T minced onion]

✩ toppings: onion, mushroom, sharp cheddar

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝓭𝓲𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 ‧₊˚ ⋅

sauce: combine all ingredients

crust: mix yeast, sugar, + warm water (rest 10 min), add flour, salt, oil, knead till smooth (rest 5 min), roll out into 2 discs (makes 2 med pizzas)

toppings: sauté onion and mushrooms (optional)

cook: Oil skillet and Assemble pizza on it, drizzle with olive oil and oregano, turn on heat to med, add 1/4 C water around edges when pan heats up, cover with lid on low heat and cook until water all evaporated (~10 min)

𝓍𝒾𝒶𝑜 says "Spongy crust and crispy bottom, is delicious and kid-friendly <3 enjoy! ^_^"

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────── ⋆

T = tablespoon, C = cup, all dividers and photos by me, please do not use without permission.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

cooking, by asmi, because someone wanted this. i can't cook, btw.

Were they joking? Probably. Cheers, @deathwords334, beware what you wish for. NOW BABYGIRLS, BITCHBOYS, AND BOYCOTTERS OF THE BINARY, I WILL... TEACH YOU HOW TO COOK. EXCEPT UH. I CAN'T COOK.

SO I WILL TEACH YOU WHAT I THINK UH COOKING IS. KINDA. FUCK YEAH THERE'S NOTHING I'M BETTER AT THAN EXPLAINING THINGS I AM SEVERELY UNDERQUALIFIED TO EXPLAIN.

STEP I: WASH THE ENDS OF YOUR FORELIMBS

WASH YOUR HANDS. UNLESS YOU'RE USING GLOVES. PLASTIC GLOVES, BECAUSE THE OTHERS WILL CATCH ON FIRE. To be fair plastic gloves might melt into your skin and cause worse damage than--YOU KNOW WHAT JUST WASH YOUR GODDAMN HANDS 99.9% OF GERMS GONE WITH EVERY HANDWASH EVER.

STEP II: FIND SOME REAL ESTATE TO EXIST IN

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY BE IN A KITCHEN. IT'S NOT A NECESSITY. YOU COULD ALSO HAVE A BONFIRE. OR A MICROWAVE IN A DORM. IS HEATING UP READY-MADE PASTA COOKING? FUCK YEAH IT IS DON'T GATEKEEP COOKING HERE.

YOU CAN ALSO STAND OVER A CREMATION PYRE AND COOK. IT IS NOT ADVISED. FOR LEGAL REASONS.

STEP III: CONTAIN YOURSELF MY DEAR THOTSON!

DR BEGONE THOTSON! MOVING ON. GRAB A CONTAINER. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE, YOUR PALMS UP IN SUPPLICATION TO OUR LORD GOD BILDADDY ARE A NATURAL CONTAINER. UNLESS YOU'RE HEATING THE CONTAINER. PLEASE DO NOT HEAT YOUR PALMS. YOU CAN GRAB A SWORD OR SOMETHING AND SKEWER THE FOOD IF YOU'RE DESPERATE.

STEP IV: FIND EDIBLE ORGANIC SUBSTRATES

MAKE SURE YOU HAVE FOOD. ON THE MAGGOTS SERVER, THERE WAS DEBATE WITHIN THE FIRST FEW DAYS OF WHETHER OR NOT CONSENTUAL AND LOCALLY SOURCED CANNIBALISM IS ETHICAL. THAT'S NOT THE POINT OF THIS POST. JUST GRAB SOME FUCKING FOOD UPROOT A BUSH IF YOU HAVE TO.

HELPFUL TIP: BEWARE WILD MUSHROOMS

OH ASMI, WE KNOW, SOME ARE FUCKING HALLUCINOGENICS, SOME ARE POISONOUS, SOME ARE LAXATIV--NO NO NO. NOT MY POINT. SOMETIMES, MUSHROOMS GROW IN CIRCLES. THIS IS A TRAP SET BY THE FAE. @queermarzipan, PLEASE CONFIRM.

DON'T GET TRAPPED BY THE FAE WHILE FORAGING FOR FOOD.

STEP V: IT'S GETTIN' HOT IN HERE MMMKAY

IF YOU'VE MADE IT THIS FAR WITHOUT GETTING BURNED ALIVE, ARRESTED OR KIDNAPPED BY THE FAERIES, CONGRATS! YOU ARE READY TO COOK. UH. YOU NEED HEAT, PROBABLY. IS MAKING A SALAD COOKING? IS MAKING A (NOT GRILLED) SANDWICH COOKING? I DON'T KNOW.

FOR SOME REASON I THINK HEAT IS KEY TO THE COOKING PROCESS.

SO WELL, GET IT HOT! FUNERAL PYRE OR MICROWAVE, GREAT! KITCHEN, PROBABLY A STOVE IN THERE. BONFIRE, GREAT! OKAY I FEEL LIKE STEP FIVE IS THE SAME AS STEP TWO. IT'S FINE.

WORST COMES TO WORST, PUT ON A TV SHOW LIKE GOOD OMENS (NUDGE NUDGE PROMO PROMO WATCH THE FUCKING SHOW IT'S BEAUTIFUL I LOVE I-OKAY SORRY) AND THE HOMOEROTIC TENSION WILL HEAT UP YOUR FOOD.

STEP VI: SPICE IT UP A BIT!

ADD SPICES THE WAY FANFIC WRITERS ADD FINGER BRUSHES, ONE BED, DANCING AND IT SWITCHES TO A SLOW SONG, WING SENSITIV--SORRY UM YES ADD SPICES THE WAY THEY ADD DETAILS TO THEIR SMUT. SPICE AND CHEMISTRY PEOPLE IT'S SPICE AND CHEMISTRY.

COOKING IS GAY.

STEP VII: MOUTHHOLE THAT BITCH

EAT. BONUS POINTS IF SOMEONE WATCHES YOU EAT. OR YOU WATCH SOMEONE EAT. HOMOEROTICALLY. LIKE CROWLEY WATCHES AZIRAPHA--OKAY FINE I'LL SHUSH BUT WATCH THE SHOW IF YOU HAVEN'T.

y'all I think I might not be coping well with life LOVE YOU MAGGOTS REBLOG IF YOU LEARNED SOMETHING AMAZING ABOUT COOKING TODAY! FROM THIS POST I MEAN. NOT IN... GENERAL. I THINK I'M FALLING ASLEEP. FUCK.

[nerdishfeels]

My Mum is A Self-Published Author!

Hey guys! So, my mum has always wanted to write a cookbook filled with our homemade recipes. It’s been in the works for a bit, but now, we’ve finally self-published her kindle book, Mumzilicious!

It would honestly mean the world to me if you could show some support for her book.

These recipes are perfect for you if you want:

Quick and easy recipes for delicious Pakistani cuisine.

Healthy dishes that are not too spicy or oily.

To learn how to cook and need somewhere to start.

To treat yourself to mouth-watering home-cooked meals.

You can get your copy below. If you have any questions, let me know!

Links:

UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CW19JX4M

US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CW19JX4M

Please signal boost this too, so everyone can get their copy! ❤️

[like-this-post-if-you]

Like this post if you like Spicy foods

[thehousewitchery]

Chicken Casserole 🥘 Celebrating Southern Appalachian Food - Jim Cassada and Tipper Pressley

[tomatodiscourse]

reblog this with your hottest tomato takes

[unmellowyellowfellow]

hey tumblr. i cant believe i'm asking this but...is there any good alternative to potatoes?

i'm allergic to potatoes (not sweet potatoes. just the other ones). and i want to eat them so bad, but no can do. DOES ANYBODY OUT THERE HAVE ANYTHING THAT COMES CLOSE PLEASE

[dioraberry]

late night date 🍝🤎

cr: ig

[gratescoff]

(Because I didn't realize this is apparently a point of contention amongst cooks)

[salad-juice-enjoyer]

Last two Shabbats cooking photo dump:

Cheese Sambusak/Samosas (cc @time-being)

An attempt at honey-lemon chicken

Slapdash pie

[xiaonyc]

𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸𝓫𝓪𝓫𝔂 masterlist (𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 ɴᴇᴡ ⇾ ᴏʟᴅ)

Self-improvement aka glow up and show up healing the wounds and becoming a strong mama

❍ ????! ᶜᴼᴹᴵᴺᴳ ˢᴼᴼᴺ

❍ Defining my boundaries w social media pt II

❍ Defining my boundaries w social media

❍ bday baby glow up ♡

❍ Personal Check-in

Cooking aka domestic goddess diaries

❍ cooking_.log photo diary

❍ ˖⁺ ⊹ 𝓫𝓪𝓫𝔂𝓼 no-oven pizza recipe <3 ⊹ ⁺ ˖ ᴺᴱᵂ

❍ Xiaobabys complete guide to be a baddie in the kitchen ₊⋅ 🔪 ‧₊˚✮★

Dividers [reqs: open 🟢]

❍ #xiaobabydividers (click latest to view all)

all dividers and photos by me, please do not use without permission.

[veshialles]

hey. you there. listen to me. look at me. do not cook steak on a hot plate without a hood fan, okay? promise? that little goblin in your mind craving to bite and rip and tear is lying to you. yes that barbecue sauce glaze and spice blend will simmer really nicely at first, but you will fill the entire basement suite with smoke and you will nearly die because of it. understood?

making the side veggies is okay, adding a little bit of potato salad with a dollop of sour cream won't do any harm, but do NOT! cook! the steak! without! a hood fan! no matter how tempting it sounds.

mistakes were made today. very yummy and juicy mistakes! but mistakes, nonetheless. consider this a learning experience.

[scrabbleknight]

Putting this for a week because I clearly do not have the reach 🍕🍕🍕

[corninthewinter]

bless all of our ancestors when they found the secrets to various forms of fermentation like kimchi and wine and cheese and everything

[ravioliraz]

When you don’t know how to cook, but you’re enthusiastic about trying