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#mood of emptyness
le-panda-chocovore · 1 year
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𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍, 𝙳𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚌𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 ?
— Waving through a window
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burying-brightness · 1 year
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scucharlie · 8 months
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TELL ME ABOUT THE BPD SLIME .. tell me ..... please ..............
MUTUAL QSMP SLIMERIANA OFC you have unlocked the silly guy ver of pandora's box >:3 this will not be ogrnaized just me going down bpd sympotms and pointing out how many fit qslime o7
A PATTERN OF INSTABLE RELATIONSHIPS -
1) with his dad , as we've heard in like early qsmp
2) mariana. I feel like this one shows more w mariana, for obvious reasons! like how they had a rocky relationship and he would often insult mariana / act like he hated her but would not let bbh insult her , and has shown to care for her multiple times
OH WHEN so after he saw quackity w a picture of Mariana he walked home saying "Mariana cheated on me - I fucking knew it, I've got nothing, I've nothing in the end I've got nothing." < man who fights with but also is insanely attached to his wife
CHRONIC FEELINGS OF EMPTYNESS -
GODDD I can't remember WHEN but I know he mentioned feeling numb or empty around foolish 💔💔 HEELLLLL
INTENSE MOOD SWINGS -
the beginning of the qsmp with mariana, does the gegg thing count? when he found quackity with mariana's photo and attacked the bull, I don't know if I count when juanaflippa died bc obviously his daughter died but! intense moodswihg between that!
EXOLOSIVE ANGER -
^ juanaflippa dying , when he was with mariana , him seeing the quackity picture, there's probably more examples
IMPULSIVE SELF DESTRUTIVE BEHVAIOUR -
exile is the BIGGEST example! (of self destructive stuff at least) obviously he fucked off into a island and completely isolated himself from everyone, and even on exile he wasn't taking care of himself and had very little stuff
attempting to kill the eggs, obviously impulsive,
drinking is another one, he did drink after juana died << again one that can be excused as, well his daughter died
UNCLEAR OR SHIFTING SELF IMAGE -
gegg. literally just the entire gegg arc WAS JUST THIS
FEAR OF ABANDONMENT -
again, it's like I feel like it shows with lije - even with everything, how during the funeral stream he said how he only has mariana left / not quoted i kinda remember this quote / there are probably better examples, but im kinda blanking x_x Mariana was / is a fp throygh cmon
this was probably kinda incoherent 💔💔 but tldr he has bpd to me end post :3
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shinestarhwaa · 1 year
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FLASH || JUNG WOOYOUNG
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Genre: Angst, Fluff
Pairing: Wooyoung x fem reader
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings/tags: Hospital patients Wooyoung and reader, inexperienced reader, mentions of sex, mentions of death, illness (cancer), major character death, Yunho is Y/N's favourite nurse, kinda friends to lovers, tell me if I forgot anything
@anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @veronicasawyerschainsaw @star1117-archives @wooyoungmybelovedhusband
ENJOY!
It all had gone by in a flash, your life. You wished you had appreciated it more. Maybe if you had, you wouldn't feel so desperate to get out of his hospital bed to make memories.
You sighed deeply. 'Did I deserve this?' you frequently asked yourself. You weren't a bad person, you were sure of that. But how could you accept that your breasts were the cause of all this mess.
"Good morning, Y/N, I see you're up already!"
The cheerful nurse Yunho never failed to make you smile, at least a little. "Yeah, I am, stupid birds won't stop chirping."
"Oh come on, it's spring, it's a good thing, a happy thing, right?" Yunho said, petting your head as he examined your stats.
"You have an appointment with dr. Nakamura at 3 to talk about your treatment right?" Yunho asked as he said next to your bed.
You had been here for a while, trying to treat the cancer with chemo, but nothing worked. Now, there was a big chance your breasts had to be amputated. It killed you. You don't know why you cared so much, but they were your breasts.
Heck, no one had even touched them yet, and they were taken away from you. Who would touch you now? Ever? Kiss you? You sighed.
"Yep, gonna have a man tell me my boobies will have to fly out the window," you said as you played with the bracelet on your wrist. Never give up, it said.
A bracelet your friend had made for you, before she passed away during her brain surgery. You missed her.
"Fly out the window? That'll be a bizarre and kind of nasty thing to see. Imagine you're walking out in the garden and suddenly there's a breast."
You couldn't help but laugh. Yunho always made you laugh.
.
.
Back in your room, you laid in your bed again, while your mother hung up some pictures of you and your friends on the board behind you, after you complained about the white hospital walls.
"Look, this is better isn't it?" your mother said as she was finished with the decorations. You gave her a weak smile, appreciating the help. But you didn't have the energy to give her a real one.
She kissed the top of your head and took her bag. "I'll have to go now, pick up your brother from his training, and cook...," she sighed. You knew she hated leaving you alone.
"I'm a grown up mom, I'll be fine, go home," you said as you kissed her cheek. You said your goodbyes and sighed deeply when the door closed, only for it to open again in a matter of seconds.
"What's a girl gotta do to get a little rest and quiet in here?" you sighed.
"Well, aren't you a sunshine."
An unfamiliar voice and it's laughter filled the emptyness of the room. You looked up, and your eyes were met by a lively boy, probably around your age.
His dark hair was parted in the middle, he had warm brown eyes that twinkled as he laughed and the fullest pink lips you'd ever seen on a guy.
He was pretty.
"Y/N, meet your new roommate, Jung Wooyoung," his nurse said.
"A roommate?" You were a bit confused.
"We figured you could use one," Yunho said as he appeared leaning against the doorframe, "now you won't have to feel lonely."
.
.
"So what's up with you?" Wooyoung asked one morning. It was the end of April, a time you used to love, but now all you could do was lay in your bed and stare out of the window.
You moved your head to look at Wooyoung, who was on the right side of the room, checking the photo's he made today on his camera. He loved taking pictures of everyone, he even took a few of you. He even joked that you were his muse.
"What's up with me?" you asked, unsure if he meant your mood or your illness.
"Why are you in here? I've been here for three days and I hadn't asked yet," Wooyoung answered, placing his Nintendo on the foot of his bed, paying his attention to you.
"Breast cancer," you admitted, "I have had a few chemo's but they did zero so they're removing both tomorrow."
Wooyoung's expression saddened. "I'm sorry, you must feel horrible right now."
You nodded, saying nothing more. You'd fall apart if you talked more about yourself. It was already hard to share it with your therapist.
"Why are you here?" you finally asked.
"Bladder cancer, and it has probably spread by now," he said, quite bluntly. "Spread? Where to?" you asked curiously. "They're not sure, but they're gonna run tests and examine me to see where it is now. I was declared clean a few months back but... you know, suddenly it's back and it's growing everywhere."
The two of you were silent for a while. "I'm sorry, Wooyoung, I hope you can get better," you said, truly meaning it.
"I don't think I will... thanks, though," he smiled.
.
.
A roommate sounded fun and you appreciated the company. But you didn't know Wooyoung would be this extremely loud kid.
You started to care about him, really, he was endearing and you had fun together, running through the halls, playing pranks on nurses (mostly Yunho) and sharing lifestories.
Tonight was a rather hot night. While it was only May it felt like a hot August night, but you refused to wear anything other than the big old sweater that was actually your brothers'.
Wooyoung and you were sat on your bed, just finished playing the card game Wooyoung taught you. You won from him already four times and he was over it.
"Aren't you hot?" Wooyoung asked as he ran his hands through his hair. Not as hot as that was. This is the first time you noticed your libido rising again in months. You didn't want to admit it was because of Wooyoung though.
"Of course I am."
"Then why do you have that sweater on?"
You rolled your eyes. You figured it was obvious why. "Because I have no boobs, Wooyoung," you sighed.
Wooyoung said nothing for a little while, understanding your struggle now. "That wouldn't bother me though, I'm an ass man." You couldn't help but laugh at that. "Good to know."
"You have a pretty nice ass."
You gasped. "You've looked?" Wooyoung laughed loudly, getting a glare from the cleaner in the hall. "Of course I looked, I'm a man, I have needs. I nearly wanted to photograph it."
"You have needs?" you laughed. "Hey I have a penis, I jerk off, I've had sex!"
"What's that like?" you asked, wondering. "Sex? You haven't...?"
You shook your head. "No I haven't had sex yet. I haven't even had my first kiss yet. No one wants to kiss the freak with cancer you know."
"Tell me about it," he sighed, "I haven't gotten laid in two years. Look, I had sex three times but I'm not bad! It's not like I'll give you cancer if I fuck you, that's not how it works," Wooyoung complained.
You grabbed the playing cards and put them back in their case, throwing them on the table on the other side of the room.
"Nice shot."
"Thanks."
A few hours later the two of you laid in bed, both unable to sleep. You shifted in your bed, being uncomfortable in the way too hot green sweater. Finally you gave in and took it off, leaving you in the striped tanktop you wore under it.
"Y/N?" you heard Wooyoung's voice call out. You felt caught. "Yeah?"
"I can give you your first kiss if you want? It doesn't have to mean anything. But who's a better match for a cancer kid than another cancer kid?" Wooyoung grinned.
You thought for a moment. "It's not a bad idea," you decided. Wooyoung wanted to get up, but you saw him struggling. He must be in pain, you thought.
You quickly got up and sat on his bed. You swallowed thickly, feeling nervous and exposed. He smiled softly as he saw your sweater off. "You look just as beautiful as you did before," he admitted.
His fingers brushed against your cheek and the arm around his waist pulled you closer. Softly, he placed his lips on yours. You felt electricity in your entire body, butterflies mixing with anxiety.
Your shaky lips moved against Wooyoung's plumper, certain ones. He took the lead, holding you, calming you down.
You kissed until you practically couldn't anymore, falling asleep in his arms.
.
.
Almost every night, over the past weeks, Wooyoung and you hung out together in bed, becoming best friends. Who kiss, apparently.
But tonight you noticed Wooyoung felt different, but you thought it may just be because of his conversation with his doctor earlier today, as he found out his cancer definitely was spreading, mostly to his lymph nodes.
The two of you went to bed earlier, falling asleep soon enough. But in the middle of the night you were awakened by Wooyoung's cries and whines, and you shot up immediately.
You saw Wooyoung's screaming face, wet from his tears. Your eyes widened when you saw blood and something that definitely smelled like urine. The nurses and his father were trying to calm him down, but Wooyoung seemed to be losing it completely.
Before you could get out of bed, they took him away, to God knows where. You stared at the spots of blood and urine on the floor. He must've lost control of his bladder by now. A cleaner soon came to clean the room, and you pretended to be asleep, while you couldn't even close your eyes for a few seconds.
.
.
Wooyoung returned the next day, he had been in surgery because the doctors had found internal bleeding, and they had to bring in a catheter.
He wasn't much like the usual bright Wooyoung, he was brooding, staring at the ceiling.
"Hey, Woo," you said as you got up from your bed and sat on his, nearly sitting on the line of his catheter.
"Hi," he said, looking away, he could barely look at you.
"I know you feel embarrassed..., but it's okay, there's no need to."
"I peed myself because I couldn't hold it in and... well, I'm gonna die."
You caressed his hair. "Wooyoung..."
You wanted to console him and hold him and tell him it was nonsense. But it's not nonsense and you both knew it. His cancer spread easily, as the doctors said it and there wasn't much they could do.
"You can't," you said, tearing up, "there's so much we still need to do. I need more, I need you to teach me more... and then do it a lot of times."
"You might wanna search for another cancer kid to give you dick," he tried to joke, but he couldn't laugh.
You just laid in bed together, knowing you had fallen in love but it could never happen. He wasn't gonna make it. And you had no idea what was gonna happen to you.
"But I want you."
The two of you looked at each other with tears in your eyes, not even noticing how both your parents stood in the doorway, watching the two of you fall deeply in love with each other.
The next night your mother sat down next to your bed when Wooyoung was getting washed up. "Sweetheart, I know you and Wooyoung have feelings-"
"Mom, they're not just feelings, I'm so... in love with him, it's unfair ma!" you yelled.
You didn't mean to yell. But what could you do? She kindly stroked your hair, trying to calm you down. ''You know you'll get hurt in the end, dear.''
''I don't care if I'll get hurt, I'd rather spend all my days with him until he's gone instead of never seeing him again while I know he's still here.''
''Okay, dear, it's okay, I'm not forbidding you anything, just... try not to romanticize it, it's hard taking care of a sick perso-''
You stared at her. ''It's hard taking care of a sick person? Like me? You know what's hard? Being sick,'' you protested. ''I know, I know, honey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.''
You nodded, but you couldn't let it go. You hated feeling like a burden, but that's what you are, right?
.
.
''Hey, Y/N, shall we go outside and take pictures together?'' Wooyoung asked, already having his camera in his hand. You weren't totally in the mood, but seeing him getting up from his bed and sitting in his wheelchair. It broke your heart that you couldn't see him running around anymore. His legs got too weak, his body too tired.
You spend the entire afternoon in the July sun, taking pictures together and Wooyoung taking solo pictures of you, once again using you as his 'beautiful muse'.
At the end of the afternoon he was spent, although he didn't wanna admit it. His warm toned skin looked pale when he was helped back into his bed. He barely reacted to you any more, only giving you a slight smile.
In the days after that, you saw Wooyoung getting sicker, and sicker, while you were getting better, allowed to go home. Still, you came to see him every single day, spending time with him for as long as you could.
Some nights you snuck in to kiss him, feel his tongue in your neck and his hands on your ass, but at the end of the week he was out of breath too much, which made you realize his illness must be affecting his lungs by now.
''I love you,'' he breathed out weakly, his eyes filled with tears. ''I love you, Wooyoung, I'll be back tomorrow.'' You kissed him one last time, before going home.
The next morning you sat on the couch drinking a cold glass of milk. You finished your glass and put it right next to the plate with some leftover pancakes that you couldn't finish.
The livingroom door opened, making you look up. It was mrs. Jung together with your own mother. By the look on her face you already knew.
''Dear,'' she started as she sat down, ''I'm so sorry to tell you...''
''Don't... Don't tell me... Don't say it...'' you whispered.
''Wooyoung passed away in his sleep last night... He's gone, my dear,'' she spoke, as a tear rolled down your cheek. But you? You couldn't cry, you only felt empty.
Your mother and mrs. Jung held you tight, trying to console you. You looked at the time, 10:49, at the calendar, July 20th, and at the sky, blue, but with the brightest sun lighting up the world. Wooyoung.
Mrs. Jung placed Wooyoung's camera on the table. ''It's filled with photos of you, thought you'd like to keep this,'' she whispered, ''He wrote a letter a few days ago.'' Mrs. Jung handed you a pink envelope.
Your name was written in a glittery pen on the front, which made your hands shake. You opened it, pulling the letter out.
Y/N, my muse,
You have given me what no one else could
I feel unconditional love when I see your face
I always will, even from the beyond
Your lips were my heaven on earth
But from now on I'll be in heaven, far from you
I'll still watch over you always
So don't be afraid to love someone else
Don't forget to never give up
And don't forget about me
Yours,
Wooyoung
This time tears fell from your eyes, and they didn't stop.
They never truly stopped. You didn't want to accept it. The lively boy you knew, the boy you loved, he couldn't possibly be gone.
It had all gone by in a flash
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pluttskutt · 24 days
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Writeblr Interview
thanks @tildeathiwillwrite for the tag!
Short stories, novels, or poems?
I naturally write novels. It's not a flex, but it's the fact that the side plots I come up with go beyond what I imagined at the start so suddenly we're 100k in and the main conflict hasn't begun yet. Ha.
What genre do you prefer reading?
Depends! I read "All the Bright Places" and "Hearstopper" for research when writing my own teen love story and I enjoyed them both. Growing up, I was an avid fantasy devourer but ever since they went from children's book -> YA I lost interest.
Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?
I always start with a plot and MC's but what happens is kind of up to the characters in the way that they shape the story. I tend to have at least two points I want to hit (a secret comes out, A meets E that will be important later etc) but how I get there is up to the characters.
I'm not a slave to them, but they drive the story forward but how they interact. An impatient character may break into a place, certain of their cause, only for it to be the wrong place, which would be a different story than one who waits and breaks into the right place.
Both are valid and will lead to them being chased by the law, but one fits the character and the other doesn't.
What music do you listen to while writing?
I have character and WIP playlists on Spotify that I listen to. If I'm writing something new that I'm unsure about I use YouTube to search for ambiance to help me picture the scene.
Favorite books/movies?
"All the Bright Places" was so good it made it to my favourites. There's a Swedish book series I read when I was younger that was called "(the) Circle" (translated) about witches I enjoyed a lot as a teen.
When it comes to movies I tend to enjoy the ones where music plays a big part like Disney musicals, the Greatest Showman, Shrek, Wonder Woman.
Any current WIPs?
Yes! A lot! I talk briefly about them in my pinned post.
Create a character description of yourself:
No thank you.
Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?
In a way. I draw inspiration from those around me when creating certain characters. One time, I just took a name from my then-BFF onto the MC's BFF to make me think of our relationship so the character's would feel like real BFF's.
Are you kill happy with your characters?
Not happy but "meh" about it. There are times when the plot has them die. They are nothing but puppets. and I am their master.
Coffee or Tea while writing?
Neither. I drink water.
Slow or fast writer?
Slow. I set the mood with music, play Solitaire when I'm not sure how to proceed, and delete a lot of what I write before I'm satisfied. I've deleted 3k long scenes before.
If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?
I don't know! Everything! Mermaids are beautiful with long hair, but I'd also love to be a dryad and run through the woods jumping over obstacles since I can barely walk now, and I'd love to ride a gryphon.
I think I'd be an elf who goes on adventures and gets to experience all of it. I'd even be the champion if It meant no brain damage.
Most fav book cliche:
I don't know. I don't read a lot, ha. True love's kiss I guess.
Least favorite cliche:
Characters who hate each other with the guy being an absolute bully and the girl starts to like him ???
Favorite scene to write?
Emotional ones! Sad, lethargic, happy, etc. Like a doom scene where everything goes wrong and the surviving characters are left with emptyness and the betrayal of one they considered a friend who caused it.
Character A holding onto B in desperation as B dangles over a black hole, both knowing B won't survive.
A species that has lived underground for generations sends someone up to test if the surface is okay every now and then. Now that they do, this one comes face to face with a beast known only in books.
Scenes like that.
Reason for writing?
Easiest way to get the characters out my head. I couldn't ever get the hang of drawing as a child, so writing it was. Also, comments on Ao3 are the only proof I have of being good at anything.
I leave this as an open tag for anyone wanting to do it!
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mari-oaky · 2 years
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The name “spleen” used to describe a state of melancholy and emptyness was made famous by the french poet Baudelaire, who even titled some of his works after this feeling. Apparently, it comes from the association that that organ has with the alteration of people’s mood, present in many cultures. For example, in the humors theory, the spleen is believed to produce black bile, which causes sadness and introversion when there is an excess of it
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glame · 1 year
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Privilege pt.1
A/N : i just wanted to write something about toxic!rafe. im such a whore for angst. and for Rafe angst? you name it. it is long. so im gonna publish it as parts. i hope you like it. its a bit long i know but its not done yet.
TW : ANGST. cursing, drugs.
''Mrs. Country Club! its a pleasure to having you here.'' Barry shouted as he saw you.
you were looking for Rafe for the last hour. he was supposed to be with you. at the Country Club. for your 'after dinner coctail'. and guesss what everyone, he didnt show up. so here you are at the Cut in your denim skirt and a white corse top with white Converse's and hundreds of golden accesories on you.
''is he here?'' you asked with an angry face and a tone. you were angry. he started doing this shit since beginning of this summer.
''he blacked out. what the hell are you doing to this boy?'' he laughed.
''when did he get here?''
''i dont know. like… it was 4 or 5 i think.'' Barry sipped from his beer.
''you cant be serious. its 9!''
''it is?'' it surprised him.
''where the hell is he, Barry?''
''there.'' he pointed. ''he was talking abot something fancy. you Kooks like fancy shits.''
you ignored him and headed to Rafe. he was laying on the couch. white powder around his nose. sweat. he really blacked out. you didnt say anything. as the time Barry sat down on the other couch.
''how much do you want to stop selling this shit to him?'' you suddenly asked.
he started laughing. ''what are you talking about princess?''
''you heard me. i wont repeat myself.''
''nah, girl. i wont do that.'' he was lighting a joint.
''im offering you money. what is it you wont do? you will do
everything for money.'' you looked at him.
''you give me money once then we are done. but Country Club? he gives me money every day, princess.'' he laughed. ''and you think he will be okay with this? he will come to me with more money just for this shit.''
it made you angry. clearly. ''good night Barry.'' you left his house. you left Rafe. tears all over your face.
when you got home your dad stopped you. ''you're early, moya lyubov.'' he was drinking whiskey.
''yeah. its just… i… i-i dont wanna talk about it.'' you knew, youre gonna cry if you talk. and for you Russian dad nothing can make you cry. he would kill Rafe. if only he knew.
''okay. want some popcorn and wine?'' thats your bad mood recipe. popcorn and wine.
''please.'' you crawled to the couch while he was in the kitchen.
''what are your plans for tomorrow darling?'' you could hear the corns popping.
''no plans. what about you?'' choosing what to watch.
''no plans either. what about Tennis or Golf?'' he was trying to hype you. but if you gonna go Golf that means you gonna see Rafe. and you dont wanna see him.
''Tennis sounds nice. we can make it work.'' you choose one of the stupid reality shows. and he sat down next to you.
''i love you so much. i would do anything for you. i just want you to be happy.'' he kissed your cheeks. ''youre my everything. you mean the world to me.'' he hugged you. ''my baby.''
since your mother left you you grew up with nanas and your two doberman dogs. but your dad was so good for you to feel the emptyness of not having a mother. Figure 8 was so good for you. a summer place. wealthy families, big grass fields, houses with big gardens, sea, children. since youve known yourself youre living in this heaven. and since youve known yourself your dad always telling 'i dont have anything but you. youre my world. my everything. youre the only person i love. youre my baby. i would do anything for my baby.' you havent understood. you know youre wealthy, you have bodyguards, you have nanas, cars but your dad was saying i dont have anything. as you grow up you understand what he has been saying.
you felt the phone vibrating in your pocket. you took a look what was it. it was Rafe. 'im sorry baby. i know i fucked up. ill make that up. ok? i love you so fucking much. plz answer me when you see this. i promise ill make that up' you ignored his texts. always same words. same texts. same things. nothing changes.
….
''okay baby. give me your hand.'' he was holding your hand. and leading you.
''Rafe, where are we going?'' you didnt know where you were going. but it must have been something with his 'make up'. he took you from home. after your dad and your Tennis day.
''we are here.'' he opened your eyes.
a scene. two big pillows and a bottle of wine. with cotton candies. you like this activity. he knows. every week you go to open air cinema. but this week you have some big problems like him not showing up. so you looked at him.
''its Ocean's.'' he showed you the pizza box. ''and we have four-cheese too.'' he was giving you puppy eyes.
you smiled. ''dont make me cry ever again.'' his smile dropped. ''never baby, never.'' he kissed you.
you spent all night watching Ocean's. yeah. 11, 12, 13, 8. four of them.
''i love you. i love you so fucking much. you cant even imagine. but i fuck up. youre the only one who knows me. i cant manage things sometimes. i dont want to make you sad. i would never want that. and i would never mean to do that. im trying. im trying for something. i dont know if i can do it or cant. but i really am trying.'' he burried his head to your neck.
''i know baby. but somethings makes me sad. i know youre trying. and i believe you can do it. keep trying okay? you can do anything.'' your hands in his hair. ''but dont let me down. okay? i dont want that?''
''no. no, never. trust me?'' he raised his head and looked at you.
''in Rafe i trust.'' you smiled and he started to laugh his breathes were hitting to your neck.
when the movie marathon over he started to talk. something when you two stay together and he was about to sleep. ''Sarah's driving me crazy. i cant stand her. she is so dramatic. im living with the bitch.''
''dont call your sister bitch. she is not a bitch.''
''thats why im saying 'im living with her.' she is always the favorite one. and me? im the troublemaker. everythings because of me. but its not. and Wheez. i dont understand she is 13. how can you be 13? she cant drink or i dont know. it must be hard for her.'' he breathed. ''Rose is something different. she is okay but i dont know. she cares about us actually. espically dad. dad is complicated. i dont know what he wants or what he works about. he hides it from me. but from Sarah? he even called her for help. im sick of this. Top and Kelce are okay but theyre not you. i love you. its just you. you listen to me, talk to me, you love me too. you make me feel this shit. youre the only real thing. i love you baby.''
thats how you two. thats your relationship. when you were kids he always held your hand. and at the age of 7 he kissed you. but it never happened again. until you were 16. you were always close. like super close. he never allowed to any boy to hurt you, any girl to fight with you. nothing can brake your heart. he was always there for you. but not a love thing until the age of 16. he kissed you again at the park. where he kissed you first. he broke up with his one-week-girlfriend. because of you. and you kissed him back. at the age of 17 you made it official official. going parties together, pda, gifts, dinners, night walks. youre the it couple of OBX. and how toxic you are you love each other.
''i love you too Rafe.''
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stxr-bxster · 2 years
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@mechahero
“In the name of the P.R.O. requisition branch-”
Nananananaaaaa-
“Cease resisting arrest-”
NaNANANANANANANANANA-
“Surrender or we will open fire!”
NANANAAAAAAAA- CAN’T HEAR YOUR BULLSHIT WHEN I’M GOING A THOUSAND MILES AN HOUUUR-
A tingle ran up from the tip of an antennae, a phantom sensation of an approaching air current transmitted through the radar clip attached at the base. Krigg pulled sharply on the split yoke of the Revenger, sending the craft in an upwards spin, deftly weaving through the asteroid belt. The faint sensation of an explosive going off through the radar clip followed a faint flash of light spreading across the belt, casting harsh shadows. Chunks of pulverized asteroid streaked against her ship’s shields, lighting up trails of blue and green.
Or, was she going downwards? No sense of either up or down in space.
Another tingle, another close aileron roll out of the way. A half-pulverized rock was sent flying out of its usual orbit, passing briefly by the edge of the cockpit’s window, causing a chain reaction of bumping and shoving among its neighbors that wasn’t too unlike what you’d see in a game of marbles. Stuck inside a storm of moving pieces. Her ability to interpret the signals of the dozens of surrounding obstacles fed to her antennae through the clip was stretched to the max, making her brain buzz with sensory inputs.
Another missed shot. This time, she aimed for a good ol’ ankle break, whirling her ship around with a little bit of dimming of the thrusters to play on the ship’s inertia, causing her ship to continue skidding forth as it spun. The bright red ship jumped forward sharply, weaseling behind and following a drifting asteroid just long enough to find itself out of what she knew was the other ship’s comfortable targeting range.
Krigg grinned to herself, and squeezed her fingers down on the accelerator. A faint, but familiar, rumble coursed through the ship’s frame, rapidly growing until her seat was vibrating. The Revenger’s thrusters roared, their scream swallowed by the emptyness of space, and in a plume of blue plasma, the bright red ship shot forwards, passing its two pursuers like a comet. The repo goons scrambled to turn their crafts around and give chase, but she already had the distance advantage.
Dancing circles around idiots was fun and all, but she wasn’t in the mood to overdo it. Plus, repo goons were like rats - you kill one, you soon discover there’s half a dozen somewhere close by. Krigg kept the gas running, tapping a finger against the command to engage in a hyperspace jump, sliding a finger over the ship’s console. She needed someplace quiet to lay low-
[Nearby spacial anomaly detected - habitat planet]
Well, that’d do just fine. Krigg quickly charted a course for the spacial anomaly. Nobody liked to go look for things in a place where space time itself had decided to be a dick about things. It wasn’t long before stars were streaking by at impossible speeds, stretched like taffy. Not much longer either that her ship was crashing through the atmosphere like a burning meteor, shields absorbing the brunt of the clash.
Or that Krigg was kind of clinging to the top of a very tall building, slowly shimmying downwards and away from her sufficiently cloaked, hidden, and electronically insulated ship stuck in hover mode. She’d come back to pick it up later.
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pathologising · 3 years
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Can someone put a chip in my brain that makes me normal
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noir-division · 2 years
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Savor Emptiness.
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urbexsneeker · 7 years
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Brotfabrik (2/3)
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jjfantasy · 5 years
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.
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cantfight-thetruth · 5 years
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You realize that no matter how much your parents love you, they've caused you so much trouble with yourself. You're trying so hard to escape from the voices inside your head that tell you to be or not to be like your parents. It's like you're always fighting for keeping "yourself" alive and not letting it get drown in the insecurities your parents made. We have to get that we are not our parents..
Stav
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Working on a serious original work. Well, semi-serious. I'll probably put it on AO3 bc nobody will likely take it anyways lmao
It's based off my personal experiences mashed up with some fantasy elements. Expect Magic, me fangirling over youtubers and me givinf myself that life I'll likely never get...
Also, I have that appointment today! Kinda nervous about the whole thing. I probably should have researched Asbergers beforehand a little more, whoopsies...
ALSO, I'm cobsidering reviving my own channel after 2 years of inactivity!
I've previously just planlessly vlogged on there aside the occasional live stream, showing my face and being all cringy.
I've essentially wiped my channel clean to start over. I've kept some old videos that I am not ready to remove yet, but this will essentially be a new beginning for me.
No, my face will no longer be a regular sight on there. It's out there already, but it's still connected to my "old self." (Yes, I'm turning a new leaf. Or at least trying to.) It will ne as inconsistent as my interests xD
So, if you're interested, keep an eye on Ridiculous in Action.
Thanks for taking your time to listen in on this little life update. Hope to see y'all around!
(Yes, I'm permanently stuck on an old version of tumblr on mobile. I'd pin this if I could.)
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cocoa-coated-fish · 7 years
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Right now I feel as if I can’t do anything. I try to move to make something and no part of me can cooperate. 
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antip-anastas-blog · 6 years
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Все то, что я писал в те времена, сводилось неизбежно к многоточью. Я падал, не расстегиваясь, на постель свою. И ежели я ночью отыскивал звезду на потолке, она, согласно правилам сгоранья, сбегала на подушку по щеке быстрей, чем я загадывал желанье. #myownpersonal #travel #georgia #kutaisi #city #lifestyle #poems #brodskiy #emptyness #... #mood #drawing #paintings #sketchbook #minds #бродский #стихи #мысли #пустота #многоточие #путешествие #грузия #кутаиси #попытка #бытьчеловеком (at Kutaissi)
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