#more of crowley's bun

[bandcampgremlin]

how am i supposed to function whilst knowing this level of gender exists and i can't have it

[actual-changeling]

day 1/? of bun posting (until i run out of screenshots)

today: classic side bun, my favourite

[smack-salad]

I know I've said this a million times and I am going to continue to say it a million more PLEASE give us long-haired Crowley in S3 I need it in order to live

[o-uncle-newt]

Was just listening to Penguin Diplomacy for the umpteenth time and...

...well I mean, it is DISTINCTLY its own thing, but now that my brain is very much in "oh my god Good Omens S2 is actually going to be happening nowish" mode, the similarities between Good Omens and Penguin Diplomacy really do kind of come into focus. Two representatives of larger "enemy" (well, not really, but it does work out that way in context) powers in a faraway location, both left by themselves in the middle of nowhere and, though initially at odds, starting to enjoy the solitude (and each other's company) when they're not bothered by their higher ups, becoming close with each other and, eventually, when the two higher-ups try to start conflict between their two sides, they manage to engineer a way to create a neutral zone for the two of them to enjoy.

And this is not to say that listening to PD feels derivative- it is very much its own thing, and the characters of Bunning and Sondergaard are very much their own people and don't map out onto the Aziraphale/Crowley relationship particularly well. And of course, besides for the rough contours, the actual details of the plot are quite different in terms of how things play out. But I do love how both of them have two people on opposite sides of a dispute who are brought together in that way to a place of closeness- and, while I've described PD as "three quarters of a rom com" before, I don't think it has to be one at all. I'm perfectly happy with them just being important to each other and caring about each other the way they end off in the episode, and, personally, feel the same about Aziraphale and Crowley both in the book and the show (though of course that manifests itself in VERY different ways in each lol). Anything can happen for them after the episode ends and I'm perfectly happy regardless because they're great how they are.

[catboydan]

Crowley with long, down to their butt length hair or short hair, like a clipper cut?

long long long long long long long long

for historical scenes, long <3

for modern scenes, short bc butt-length long would clash with his modern style alas

[staypuffy]

I'm sure someone has already made this observation, but the ball scene, you guys. Let's talk.

Specifically, about the apparel.

Obviously, Aziraphale worked a little bit of his angelic magic to make sure that romance was in the air so Nina and Maggie would fall for one another, but this magic also extends to the other party guests; Mrs. Sandwich not being able to say seamstress, everyone inexplicably knowing how to do the Country Dance, and, more to my point, their clothes.

Upon entering the party some people's change and others' don't, and there's a lot of symbolism there for each character based on whether or not their outfit changes.

The clothes are a direct reflection on the subconscious of that individual, magnified by Aziraphale's magic. They enter the party in the clothes they see themselves in, not necessarily what they were wearing before.

For those characters who are assured of themselves, and their fashion choices, (Aziraphale, Crowley and Nina) their appearance doesn't change at all. They're comfortable as themselves in any setting (It's important to note that Nina's clothes do change, but it's so slight that you barely notice). Fancy ball or not, they wear the same outfit they normally do because they present themselves how they see themselves. Nina even looks down at herself upon entering the shop and remarks, "I'm going mad," making her the only guest to actually acknowledge the fact that something odd is going on; she's acutely aware of herself and the world around her, so when her strong sense of self is being meddled with, she notices.

For the other characters, however, those whose outfits change, this reflects something deeper about their character which is manifesting itself in their style choices; Maggie's clothes change into something nicer than just a plain t-shirt and jeans because she wants to impress Nina, Mrs. Sandwich swaps her tracksuit for a glamorous blazer since she sees herself (as she should) as a proper businesswoman, and Ms. Cheng lets her hair down from the tight bun, signifying her "loosening up" at the party.

All this to say that Jim's Liberace get-up is even more hilarious when you think about it from this perspective.

[crushmeeren]

Warnings; Female Reader, Female Anatomy Used, Kissing, Pussy Eating, Vaginal Sex, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex (Double Penetration 😏), Dirty Talk, Praising, Cream Pies! Generally just fluffy and smutty, my personal favorite combo.

Note; Well here it is, my Crowley/Reader/Aziraphae one shot. It’s written with a female bodied reader because I’m female and that’s what I know best. I loved writing this. Once again it became very long and I could not stop the train. Hope everyone who wanted this enjoys it.

AO3 Link; The Devils Hour😈

Word Count; 7.5k

If anyone would like me to write Gender Neutral or Male Reader One Shots, let me know! I would love to do that!☺️

It’s 3 am. You notice after glancing at the red numbers on the digital clock currently sitting on your nightstand. It’s the devils hour. Which is kind of funny considering you’re missing the actual demon that usually occupies part of the bed. It’s completely dark in your shared room, the only other light is from the moon peaking through the curtains, letting you see occasional shapes as you look around the room. You hear the sounds of cars driving down your road once in awhile, and you just hope it’s Crowley, pulling up in his Bentley, Queen music blaring.

You’re halfway laying on your belly and your right side, left leg bent and tucked up beside your waist as you reach out a hand to run it over the soft blanket on the side of the bed that Crowley usually sleeps on. Except right now it’s empty. The blanket feels cool to the touch and it’s unsettling. You grip the blanket tightly, knuckles turning white, before releasing it. The bed’s just too big and it teeters on the line of feeling wrong without Crowley there with you and the Angel.

You start to feel a tug in your chest at the familiar ache of missing the demon. The uncomfortable emotion settles in your heart heavily, sinking into your chest, almost like a lead balloon. It weighs you down and presses you into the mattress a little bit more than before. As you lay there contemplating your misery you hear the blanket rustle behind you and you’re reminded you still have your sweet Angel in the bed with you. It makes you feel a tad lighter.

“Angel,” you breathe out, feeling a warm, steady arm wrap around your waist from behind, pulling you closer. Aziraphale curls up against your back, shifting a knee to get between the soft skin of your thighs. Pillowy lips press a kiss into the back of your neck, over a knob in your spine, which he has access to since your hair’s pulled up into a bun.

“Is everything alright my dear? Why are you awake?” Aziraphale questions, voice quiet and raspy with sleep. You scoot back as much as you can into his embrace and rest your hand on the forearm that holds you.

“I miss Crowley, I thought he would be home by now,” you respond, voice thick with emotion, eyes stinging, threatening to fill with tears. You feel as if you’re being a bit over dramatic but who cares, you miss him. You would miss the Angel just the same if he were gone. You pull the soft blanket up over your shoulder, covering you both.

He brings his hand to the bottom of your large T-shirt. It’s some older, worn one Aziraphale never wears anymore. He wants to get closer to you and he slips that hand underneath, fingers rubbing the skin of your belly soothingly this time as he wraps his arm around you even tighter in comfort.

“I know my love, I miss him too. The old boy is alright. He’ll be home soon. He can’t stay away from us for long, you know that,” Aziraphale says, tone reassuring, nuzzling the back of your head gently. You can feel his warm breath on your neck and it makes you shiver slightly, goosebumps erupting up your arms and legs. An involuntary pulse of arousal makes your pussy clench around nothing. You try to ignore it. Which of course doesn’t work.

“I know, I just, well it’s been awhile since we’ve all been in bed together. I miss being with both of you,” you say shyly, craving the intimacy and pleasure that comes with the three of you having sex together. Missing the way one of them stretches open your pussy as the other presses into your tight arse. The image flashes behind your eyelids and your cheeks burn as your entire body feels too hot. Your pussy clenches again and you squeeze your thighs around the Angels knee for some relief. Aziraphale feels the way you press your pretty little arse into his pelvis, feeling his dick twitch at the sensation.

“Darling,” Aziraphale starts to coo, “You’re missing our demon that badly huh?” he teases, fondly of course, raising up on one elbow to lean forward and press a sweet kiss to the side of your neck.

“Yes.” It comes out as a breathy moan. The Angel hums against your neck. He lets his soft lips trail over your earlobe and whispers in your ear.

“Maybe I can help you feel a little better, my pretty little doll.” You breathe in sharply. You can definitely feel your own heartbeat in your pussy. Warmth pools in your lower belly instantly. The Angel presses his knee a little bit further and puts pressure against your aching clit. Just that little bit of contact feels so good, making your limbs tingle warmly. It makes you crave the loving he’s so gifted at giving.

“Please Angel.” Voice on edge, as you squeeze your bare thighs around the knee he has pushed against your pussy. You rock your hips, grinding your clit onto his knee a couple times, groaning softly. Aziraphale watches your movements, feeling your warm pussy rubbing against his bare leg through your panties, a slightly wet sensation. Your sweet noises reach his ears and his entire body flushes hotly, his cock jumping against your arse, filling out steadily. He can’t help but slip his knee free and roll you onto your back, eager to keep going.

You let him manhandle your body and your head ends up resting on a pillow. You look up at his pretty blue eyes. He bites his bottom lip and helps you bend your legs at the knee, placing your feet on the mattress. You only make one short sound of protest at the loss of his touch and he laughs brightly.

“There, there my love, I’ll be touching your pretty body again shortly,” he says, playfully as he makes his way closer between your thighs, pushing them wide open with his hands on your knees. He decides to shove off the fuzzy blanket that was covering the two of you, it had start to just pool around his waist. It gathers at the end of your bed.

You lick your lips and reach out for Aziraphale with a soft pout on your mouth. You grab a fistful of his shirt and tug him to you. His lips pull into an amused smile and he lets himself be pulled. He rests his elbows on either side of your head, gently relaxing his weight down onto you, and you both groan at the feeling of your chests pressing together. His body crushes you slightly and for some reason it turns you on even more. You can feel his warmth through both your shirts and it makes your nipples harden.

You yearn to kiss him, so you grip his shoulders and pull him down to your mouth. Aziraphales sweet, plump lips slotting against yours perfectly. The Angel makes you feel safe, loved, happy and your kiss conveys all of that. He tilts his head as he moves your lips together slowly, intimately. The kiss starts to feel like heated honey, the sweetness of it soothing some of the bitter ache you both feel missing Crowley.

You moan into his mouth and poke your tongue out to run it against his bottom lip. You hear him whine as he opens his mouth instantly letting you in. You twist your tongue with his for a moment just tasting him before sucking his bottom lip into your mouth. You chomp down, biting it and releasing it with a wet sound. He moans low in his throat.

“Oh, you’re such a little tease aren’t you?” Aziraphale tickles your ribs softly as he leans down to kiss your neck. You let out a happy giggle, pushing at his hands without much force. You let yourself enjoy the feeling of his mouth, melting under his touch in a puddle of warm goo. His hands trail down your sides to the bottom of your shirt. He grips the edge of it and sits back on his calves so he can pull it up and off of you. You sit up a little and let him strip you, tossing it to the side. The cool air hits your chest giving you goosebumps again. As you lay back again, his fingers have already slipped into the waistband of your panties. You let out an accidental laugh.

“You’re so eager Angel,” you say, teasing him. He looks at you and grins, giving you a wink. You bite your lip and tilt your head down to watch him. You decide to be proactive and lift your hips for him. He makes an approving noise as he tugs them down your legs, again tossing them aside carelessly. Aziraphale runs his hands appreciatively over your soft thighs and up your belly. You whimper at the feeling of his warm hands. He smiles at you lovingly and leans forward to nuzzle at the space between your breasts. You feel a sharp pinch, like being stung by a bee and you know he’s sucking a love bite into the skin there. You let out a yelp at the sensation of teeth as your hands shoot up to tangle into his soft, white curls.

“Oh! Oh-hah that feels so good Angel.” Whining as he shifts his head to the left, sucking a nipple into his mouth. Aziraphale wraps his lips around your perky bud and sucks harshly, tongue flicking up and down. A low moan vibrates in your chest and your back arches up into his touch. You’re starting to sweat as your thighs clench around his hips and he presses his pelvis down into your groin. His covered cock spreading the slick folds of your pussy. He releases your nipple with a pop and gasps sharply at the feeling of your warm pussy rubbing against him. He pushes his hips up, grinding against your clit, sending tingles of pleasure and relief up your spine.

“Azi,” you say, whining. You let the last syllable drag out. He knows you’re starting to feel it as you only use that nickname when you’re in bed.He snickers a little bit, moving his hips slowly, letting his cock drag continuously through your folds and against your clit. It’s soaking his briefs.

“Hmm? Is your pretty pussy feeling good my sweet girl?” he whispers, in a way that sounds like he’s teasing but it’s wrapped in a loving tone. Aziraphale doesn’t usually speak so filthily, at least not outside of the bedroom. He pushes through the embarrassment each time because it turns him on so much seeing your sweet reactions to his words.

“Yes! Yes, S’good Azi, want you inside Angel.” Crying out to him, you dig your nails into his forearms. Heavens, that really sets him off. He knows his cock is flushed and hard as steel. He can feel the throb of heated arousal in his groin and how his briefs are sticking lewdly to his leaking tip. He groans your name and leans down to kiss at your collarbone. The feeling makes your eyes flutter closed, tilting your jaw up as you lose yourself in him.

“Well, for hells sake, don’t you two just make the loveliest picture. Couldn’t wait for me to get home huh?” A smooth voice purrs from the open doorway of their room. You and Aziraphale immediately freeze in place at the sound of his voice, breaking apart as you shoot up to sit straight up in the bed and the Angel turns on his knees to face the demon. Crowley flips on the switch to the low light of their room, bathing them all in soft, warm light.

Both of your faces light up like the sun as you recognize the voice belonging to the red head and you’re both scrambling off the bed and shooting towards Crowley. Your foot almost getting caught in the blanket as you tumble off the bed. The demon laughs happily as the two of you wrap your arms around his waist, sandwiching him in between you and the Angel. You not caring you’re completely naked and Aziraphale not caring he’s sporting a raging boner that’s poking Crowley straight in the thigh.

“Miss me did we?” Crowley teases in a smooth voice, as he lets himself be squished, absolutely loving it. Sounding like a cat who doesn’t want to admit he wants affection. The two of them release him as they all smile happily.

“We missed you so much love, I didn’t think you’d be home tonight,” you say, voice full of love, excited now that you are all three together. Crowley slips his glasses off and walks to place them on the side table, shrugging off his jacket and toeing off his shoes.

“I wasn’t sure I’d be home tonight either but I couldn’t stand being away for much longer,” he replies, with a smirk.

“Yeah, that’s what Azi said too,” you comment offhandedly, in a joyful tone of voice. You move to sit on the edge of the bed and Aziraphale walks closer to Crowley, getting in his space. Crowleys eyebrows raise up at the nickname as he looks at you briefly before making eye contact with the smug looking Angel.

“Azi huh? Just how good was the Angel making you feel, you pretty little demon,” he says, with a smirk, knowing you only call the Angel that when you’re in bed, when you’re getting all needy and whiny. When you start to feel so good your words slur and you beg the Angel to pound you. Your cheeks turn a bright pink at his words. Aziraphale speaks before you can.

“Oh dear, I was just getting a little bit of a taste of our girl before you came home. I thought you’d enjoy a bit of a feast when you got here. I had a feeling you’d be home late like this…wanting a late night snack my love,” the Angel says, in a teasing voice, sounding ridiculously seductive. Crowley grins wickedly in return and leans down in Aziraphales face.

“You’re such a good Angel,” Crowley coos, as he leans closer and presses his lips against the Angels. Aziraphale sighs happily and wraps his arms around Crowleys neck, melting into the kiss as their lips move together sensually.

You wiggle where you sit on the edge of the bed, belly heating dangerously as the atmosphere between the three of you charges significantly. Crowley fitting seamlessly into the situation, like he was never even gone. Watching the two of them together is bewitching. The way their lips meet and move together with a slick noise. Crowley tugging Aziraphale forward by his hips. Seeing flashes of their tongues disappear in each others mouths. Your pussy throbs repeatedly and you can’t help but let out a whine, wanting their attention. They break from the kiss but not their position, still glued together. Both of them turning their heads to look at you, faces looking way too smug.

“Feeling left out my love? You’re such a needy little demon.” Teasing you, Aziraphale breaks away from his embrace with Crowley. He walks towards you and stops a few inches away from your spread thighs. You nod and bite your bottom lip. You maintain eye contact with Aziraphale as he hooks his thumbs into his briefs and slowly pushes them down his hips. You then watch as his cock bobs free when the waistband of his briefs catches on it. He pushes the underwear the rest of the way off. You can’t keep your eyes away from his pretty pink cock. Thick, but not too long. You reach out a hand to wrap your fingers around his dick but he grabs your wrist. “Not yet my dear. Let’s wait for Crowley okay?” he says, softly, eyes sparkling with amusement at your eagerness. Your lips turn into a small pout and you nod reluctantly as your eyes glance over to see what the demon is doing.

Crowley took advantage of you being distracted and had busied himself with shedding his clothes, leaving him in his briefs and black tee currently. You bite the inside of your lip while you run your eyes over his lanky figure. You notice the Angel so the same. Crowleys lips tug into a one sided smirk.

“Love,” the Angel calls out, gently, to get your attention. You look up at him once again. “Why don’t we get a better view of our gorgeous boy huh?” he says.

“What do you have in mind?” you question, curiously, wondering what’s running through the Angels brain. He pointedly says nothing as he gets on the bed next to you and crawls to the headboard. He props up a couple pillows against the frame and he turns to lay his back against them, letting his legs fall open as he plants his feet.

“Come sit in my lap love, let’s enjoy a show and watch Crowley get undressed,” Aziraphale says, with a sly smile. Your belly flips eagerly as you nod excitedly and quickly move up the bed. You turn around as well and sit in between his legs. You rest your back against his chest as you recline, you can feel his heart beating steadily. Aziraphale maneuvers you until each of your thighs are resting on the outside of his, spreading your legs and pussy open. He wraps his arms around your waist as you watch Crowley move to the end of the bed, standing by the edge. His eyes roam your spread body. As his serpent eyes make their way to your cunt, he licks his bottom lip, forked tongue flicking out, and he palms his dick through his underwear.

“C’mon Crowley, we wanna see you get naked,” you say, feeling amused. You feel the Angels soft breath on your neck as he chuckles. Crowleys head tilts back as he laughs.

“Eager for me?” he jokes. You both nod and Aziraphale squeezes your waist again and rests the side of his face against yours.

“Yes dear, we’ve missed seeing your body,” Aziraphale says, eagerly. Crowley wiggles his eyebrows and he reaches for the bottom of his shirt and in one movement pulls it off, letting it drop on the ground. You both cheer softly. Crowley laughs and hooks his fingers into his waistband, lingering. “Doesn’t our dear boy look so..enticing?” The Angel whispers in your ear. You shiver and nod. The Angel trails one hand from your waist down your belly slowly. He brushes his fingers through the curly hair on your mound. Your heart rate picks up and you feel liquid heat in your belly as he softly places his pointer and middle finger on your clit. You inhale sharply, legs flexing around the outside of his thighs. Crowley watches the movements of his Angels hand and he bites his bottom lip. You see Crowleys cock fill out completely in his briefs as the Angel starts to rub slow, tiny circles into your clit. You feel Aziraphales cock start to harden again against your back. Your head falls back onto his shoulder and you moan loudly as pleasure smolders through you, straining to keep your eyes open and on Crowley. “Ah, that’s a good girl, keep those pretty eyes on Crowley love,” Aziraphale praises, moving his fingers a little faster. You began to breathe a little heavier, wiggling slightly and Crowley can’t wait anymore. He pushes his briefs off and steps out of them.

You’re letting out soft sounds of pleasure and you reach out a hand for Crowley, making a grabby motion at him. He smiles and makes his way up to you both before sitting on his haunches. He grabs your hand and squeezes your fingers before letting your hand rest against your belly. He makes eye contact with Aziraphale briefly as you watch them have some sort of mental conversation, before Crowley smirks. The Angel slows his fingers down and you make a protesting noise. He stops and slips a finger up and down through your folds, covering it in slick before pulling it away. You cry out, whimpering his nickname. He giggles and whispers in your ear.

“What do you want my pretty little doll?” Shifting in place, you flex your open legs briefly.

“I- I want his mouth,” you mumble softly, eyes glued to the demons lips. You’d been thinking about Crowley eating you out for a week now. It being the star of many of your recent dreams. The other two snicker.

“I can’t hear you dear, can’t you speak up,” Aziraphale says, in a bit of a condescending tone, teasing you and kissing the side of your neck. You burn with embarrassment, but it just turns you on even more.

“Such a whiny little demon, can’t even tell us what she wants. Angel, I think she wants me to eat her pussy.” Crowley grins, letting his tongue flick out again. You feel the Angels dick twitch against your lower back at the words. He loves watching Crowley eat you out.

“Oh yeah?” he giggles. “Do you want Crowley to eat your pretty little pussy love?” You groan loudly, feeling so unbelievably turned on by the filth that leaves their mouths. Aziraphale holds onto your hips and makes a tsk sound, like he’s disappointed before he speaks. “Now my dear, use your words. Tell Crowley you want him to use his wicked mouth to eat your pussy.” Crowley rubs a hand soothingly up and down your thigh.

“Yeah sweetheart, tell me you hearts desire,” Crowley teases, trailing a finger down the crease between your wet heat and your thigh.

“Fuckk, Crowley please, I want you to eat my pussy,” you say with a whine, feeling too hot in your skin, legs tingling from where they’re stretched open. You hear Aziraphale inhale sharply as the words leave your mouth. Crowleys smile can only be described as hungry. He moves onto his belly in between your thighs in a way that can only be described as a slither. Your breath catches as his face gets close to your pussy.

“Good job sweetheart,” he says, breath fanning over your clit. Your hips twitch upwards involuntarily in response. Aziraphale rests his chin on your shoulder and looks down to enjoy the view. Crowley keeps eye contact with you both as he closes the distance and his tongue pokes out to slide between your folds and up to your clit. He licks stripes into your clit, swirling his tongue in a circle.

“Fuck! Crowley, oh god!” you choke out, moaning lowly as swirls his tongue leisurely. Your hands shoot out to tangle in his red hair, tugging tightly. His eyes flutter for a second and he moans against your pussy. You and Aziraphale watch the demon with undivided attention.

“Heavens, this is beautiful. You’re such a good girl, letting Crowley eat your pussy.” Aziraphale says, voice breathless. His arms tighten around your waist and you feel his dick throb. Crowley wraps his lips around your clit and sucks gently, flicking his forked tongue at the same time. Your thighs tense against Aziraphales, wanting to close around the demons head. Your eyes squeeze shut as your head falls back onto the Angels shoulder. A wail tears from your chest.

Crowley digs his nails into your thighs and he starts to make out with your pussy. He rolls your swollen clit over and over between his lips, using his tongue to help push you closer to the edge. Your slick and his saliva coating his lips. You can feel it drip down to your arse and onto the bed. You feel Aziraphales fingers grip your jaw, squeezing and tugging your chin so your head tilts down to watch Crowley.

“Eyes open, my dear. Be good,” Aziraphale coos. You start to pant and force your eyes open to watch the demon devour you. Crowley takes one hand off your thigh and brings it close to your pussy, dragging it through your folds as he sucks on your clit again. He rubs the flat of his tongue up and down your clit in a steady rhythm.You jolt in slight surprise as you feel a miraculously lube covered finger rub circles over your arse hole for a moment, trying to loosen you up.

“S-shit Crowley!” you say, shakily as his finger just glides into your hole smoothly all the way to his last knuckle. The demon sucks gently on your clit to help ease the ache. The Angel brings his hands up to grip your breasts, after letting go of your jaw.

“You think you can take both of us tonight my love?” Aziraphale asks, gently and noses at your jaw. You nod quickly, arse tightening around Crowleys finger and he pops off your pussy for a moment, starting to pump his finger and kissing your clit once more shortly.

“Oh, she likes that Angel,” Crowley purrs, before quickly pulling his finger back and adding a second. He presses them in gently past your rim, then all the way in. You moan at the familiar uncomfortable sensation of you arse stretching to fit his fingers, insides throbbing dully.

“I know she does,” the Angel giggles. Aziraphale brings one hand off your breasts back down to rub circles into your clit again, using the saliva left from Crowleys tongue to make his fingers move smoother. You cry out his name and your hands grip his forearms harshly.

“Azi! Yeah-yes, want you both, need you both at the same time!” The other two moan in unison.

“Fuck, okay, yes, let me stretch you a little bit more okay doll?” Crowley rumbles, Aziraphale moves his fingers a bit quicker on your clit and your pussy clenches around nothing as your tight heat squeezes Crowleys fingers. Aziraphale takes his fingers off your clit and grips your breasts again, pinching your nipples between his fingers. He sucks bites into your shoulder, letting you enjoy the feeling of Crowleys fingers in your arse. You sigh in relief, clit getting sensitive and moan at the feeling of fullness. The burning ache, dulling to a pleasurable tingle. The demon focuses on stretching you open for a few more moments. You feel your back start to stick to Aziraphales chest, feeling him nuzzle into the back of your neck, holding your waist again. The demon adds a third finger, spreading them in the process.

“Crowley,” you moan, softly.

“What is it my sweet little demon?” he asks, looking up at you.

“I’m ready, please, no more,” you say, breathily.

“You ready Angel?” Crowley asks Aziraphale, knowing the Angel is brimming with anticipation.

“Yes my dear, I want to be inside of her so badly,” he responds eagerly, thrusting his hips slightly, rubbing his dick up against your back. You feel the discomfort of Crowley slipping his fingers free and you whimper. Crowley sits up on his knees and smiles widely. You reach your hands up to grip his cheeks, pulling him forward into a kiss, realizing you hadn’t had the chance yet. He hums softly against your lips and you kiss sweetly, his lips feeling like coming home. It only lasts a brief moment, all three of you too worked up to wait longer. Aziraphale unwinds his arms, releasing your legs and sneaks out from behind you. He sits at your side and Crowley in front of you.

“Doll, how do you want us this time?” Crowley asks, caressing your cheek with his hand. You look between the two of them and your cheeks heat up. Aziraphale is a little bit thicker then Crowley, meaning he’ll stretch your arse out more, which could be uncomfortable. On the other hand you haven’t seen Crowley in a week and want to be face to face with him, feeling his dick stretch your pussy. They wait patiently for your answer. Each of them with a hand around their cocks, aching for relief.

“I think, I think I want Crowley to be in my pussy this time,” you say, as your blush travels to your chest, feeling a little guilty. Aziraphale notices the guilty look on your face and he leans close to press a kiss to your cheek. He leans back and looks into your eyes.

“Love, don’t feel guilty, there’s nothing to feel bad about. You know I love being inside of your tight little arse.” Grinning, he backs off again. You giggle lightly. Crowley smiles at you both and moves to lay on his back on the bed. He bends his knees and plants his feet.

“Well then pretty girl, come sit on my dick,” Crowley remarks, looking all too happy with himself. You roll your eyes playfully and move to straddle his lap. You feel the heat of the Angels chest on your back as he settles between Crowleys legs.

“Azi, will you help me?” Without turning your head you speak to Aziraphale and you watch Crowleys cock jump as you speak. You wink at him. He sticks his tongue out at you with a little hiss. Aziraphale moans into the skin of your shoulder.

“Heavens love, you’re gonna make me cum before I even get inside of you,” he replies, he grips your hips guiding you to lift onto your knees. You obey and stay still as one of his hands snakes under you to grab onto Crowleys leaking, hard cock. You both hear the demon let out a hiss. Aziraphale lines up Crowleys cock with your soaking pussy. Aziraphale teases you both by rubbing Crowleys tip through your folds, spreading them gently and you both whine, you dig your nails into the demons chest. You hear the Angel laugh before he lets the demons cock catch on your pussy and he tugs your hip, pulling you down onto Crowleys cock. When you start to feel the delicious stretch of the demon, Aziraphale stills your descent.

“Wait love.” Scooting back the Angel gets a better view of you two.

“Angel, c’mon stop teasing us, let me inside her pussy,” Crowley all but growls, you make a sound of agreement. Aziraphale laughs brightly, loving to torture you both a bit.

“I just want to be able to see that’s all dearest. You wouldn’t deny me the gorgeous view of you filling her up would you?” he says, voice teasing. Crowley just groans in response. Aziraphale presses a hand to your lower back, tilting you forward a little bit, exposing you more. He grips both of your arse cheeks and spreads them open. “Perfect,” he breathes. “You can let him fill you up now darling,” he says, squeezing both cheeks.

“How lovely of you to let us start having sex Azi,” you say, sarcastically. He hums in response, eyes glued to where you and Crowley connect. You let yourself sink down onto Crowleys cock, letting him stretch your pussy open blissfully. You and the demon cry out simultaneously as you bottom out, sitting fully in his lap. “Crowley, you feel so good, oh god.” Choking on a moan you brace more of your weight on him.

“For fucks sake sweetheart, your pussy always feels so good. You take me so well, yes just like that pretty little thing,” Crowley cooes. You hear the Angel behind you whimper softly at the sight. You feel Aziraphales hands grip your waist as he encourages you to start riding the demon.

“Azi, shit, shit, yes that feels so good,” you cry out, using your thighs to ride Crowley. Every time you move up and down you feel his warm cock drag against the walls of your pussy, creating friction so good you feel heated sparks shoot up through your spine. Crowley talks a big game but now a he’s a moaning, needy mess beneath you, fingers gripping your thighs tight. Aziraphale looks over your shoulder at Crowley as you ride him.

“Oh Crowley, such a pretty mess you make. Her pussy making you feel good dear boy?” he says, voice soothing. Crowley nods and lets out a groan from deep in his chest. All of a sudden there’s hands on your hips, yanking you down onto Crowleys cock, making you sit still in his lap. Your pussy clenches tight around Crowleys cock, and you gasp sharply. The demon curses in return. “My loves, I can not wait any longer. I need to be inside your sweet arse my doll, need to feel my cock caressing Crowleys,” he says, voice trembling, hands smoothing up your back.

“Yes, yes okay Azi, fill me up please, want you both.” Wiggling your hips in the Angels grasp.

“Are you ready dear?” Addressing Crowley quickly, he already has a hand pressing into the middle of your back, forcing you to bend more and you place your hands on either side on Crowleys head, staring into his snake eyes.

“Yes my Angel, please I want to feel you both,” Crowley answers, voice breathy, making steady eye contact with you. “You can do it my sweet little demon, you can take him, we’ve got you,” Crowley coos, framing your face with his hands. You whine and your eyes widen as you feel the head of the Angels thick cock press against your arse. He must’ve miracled more lube onto his cock, because the tip of his dick pops in past your rim easily. You choke on an inhale feeling a flash of stinging pain as he lets you adjust and he rubs your lower back lovingly, while he tries to keep still. Your arse so tight and warm. So slick it’s almost already too overwhelming for him. You let out a strangled whimper, already feeling the burning ache turn up a notch. The two of them whisper sweet nothings to you and massage whatever skin their hands can reach as you take deep breaths.

“Azi, please, move, fuck me,” you almost sob. The sensation pushing the edge of too much.

“Yes dear, doing such a good job, look so pretty taking both of us.” Aziraphale babbles, whispering sweet praises as he slowly fills your arse all the way up, balls pressing against your skin. He waits only a few seconds before pulling his hips back and thrusting forward again smoothly. Aziraphale starts to find a steady rhythm and the pain starts to fade into immense pleasure, making you sigh with relief. Crowley lets out a sound that must’ve been punched out of him as he feels Aziraphales cock start to drag against his through your slick and warm walls.

“Fuck! Angel, your cock feels so good against mine, hah, she’s so damn tight.” Crowley feels white hot pleasure crash over him in waves and his toes curl as he tries to thrust upwards to match a somewhat steady pace with the Angel. Aziraphales head falls back as he lets out a throaty moan.

“Heavens Crowley, you do feel unbelievable.” As they both start to move your arms give out. The sensation of being filled in both holes overwhelming to say the very least. You have to rest your chest against Crowleys and bury your face in his neck. You cry out repeatedly into his skin, letting out little ah’s as they pleasure you. You hold onto the sheets by the demons head with a death grip. He murmurs your name lowly in your ear.

“You’re such a good girl, taking us like I knew could. Your pussy is unbelievable, you love this don’t you sweetheart,” he says, hushed and quiet in your ear. You’re so blissed out you can’t respond right now, just writhing in his hold, trying to gulp down air. Crowley grips your arse tightly while Aziraphale keeps his hands on your hips. Both of them pulling and pushing in and out of you, filling you over and over. They stretch you to your limits as they both move a bit faster, finding a faster rhythm now. Never leaving you without one of their cocks filling you up.

You all listen to the wet smacking sounds of wet skin meeting wet skin lewdly. Aziraphales hooded eyes meet Crowleys and they interlace their fingers together on the left side of your hip, fucking into you almost roughly now. Your belly tightens dangerously, heat warring in your stomach. Your pussy starts to flutter around Crowleys cock and you know Aziraphale can feel it in your arse too. You get the strange pressure in your pelvis that signals you might squirt and your heart races.

“Crowley,” you whine, words pressing against his neck.

“I know sweet girl, I know, you’re about to cum aren’t you?” The demon soothes you while pressing a kiss the the side of your head. He pants in your ear as he works to keep up the rhythm Aziraphale set. Aziraphale’s been listening to the demon whisper into your ear and he bites the inside of his cheek, his heart warming at the sight of the two of you. It makes his cock throb as he locks eyes with Crowley.

“She’s gonna cum Angel,” Crowley warns, Aziraphale taking the chance to brace one hand on your upper back, pushing you down into Crowleys chest. He’s still holding Crowleys hand. He breathes heavily as he moves his hips, fucking into your sweet spot through you arse in long, fast strokes.

“I know my love,” he breaks off, groaning. “I-I’m afraid I’m getting close as well. Her arse is just too tight and with the way you feel against me, I won’t last much longer,” he says, whiny edge to his voice. Crowley nods and wraps his free arm around your waist, hugging you tightly.

“I’ve been trying not to c-cum this whole time,” Crowley replies, breathless laughter ringing out as he fucks up into you harder. Just like that you wrap your arms around the demons neck, wanting to be even closer to him as the coil in your belly releases. The unbearably warm pleasure of your orgasm gushes through your limbs, feeling like warm caramel. Your body tenses as you sob into Crowleys neck. Your pussy and your arse clenching suffocatingly so around the cocks currently working you through your climax.

“Oh, oh, hah, so good, pretty girl, doing such a good job, making me cum with your sweet arse,” the Angel spews, words spilling out of him, unable to stop. His hips stutter before he’s pressed all the way in, balls tightening and he starts to cum, filling your arse with sticky, warm release.

Crowleys able to watch as the Angels face twists with pleasure, eyebrows scrunching and his mouth falling open into an o shape. Cheeks flushed pink as his eyes fall shut. He squeezes the demons fingers and your arse with the other hand.

“You’re both so pretty when you cum, fucks sake, it’s not fair,” Crowleys whines, moving his hips harder as Aziraphale holds you still. You’re only able to relax for a few seconds before they hear you suddenly gasp.

“Azi, Crowley! I’m gonna squirt!” You cry out, tone frantic, feeling panicked as you cum for a second time. You squeeze around them both. Aziraphale cries out at the overstimulation and Crowley throws his head back onto the pillow and moans through his teeth. Your body trembles and you hang onto Crowleys shoulders for dear life and pleasure sparks through you again, only this time the pressure in your pelvis releases and you feel yourself squirt all over the demons belly and pelvis, Aziraphale can feel it on his balls, making him shiver. You let out a muffled scream into Crowleys shoulder.

The feeling of you squirting and watching the Angels face as he cums, it shoves Crowley off the edge. Not push, it brutally shoves him. He lets go of Aziraphales hand and presses his palm to the back of your head, tucking your face into his neck as he starts to cum. His other arm squeezes your waist even tighter.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m cumming, oh shit.” Crowley cries out, cumming hard. Harder than he expected and he swears his vision whites out and his ears start ringing as he lazily thrusts his hips upwards. He feels like he’s been bathed in sunlight, blood buzzing. Aziraphale groans through his teeth as he feels Crowleys warm cum through the thin layer separating them, the demons dick throbbing in your pussy.

Your body shakes from the overstimulation where you lay on Crowleys chest. You all take deep breaths as you feel the Angels sweaty forehead on your back. After giving everyone a moment to return to their bodies, Aziraphale pulls out first. He does so slowly, knowing him being in your arse is a big cause of the overwhelming sensations you’re feeling. You whimper softly as his softening dick slips out of you and he flops down on one side of Crowley. You twist your head to look into his blue eyes as Crowley releases you from his iron grip.

“Are you alright my sweet doll?” Aziraphale prods gently, brushing hair off your forehead, as he noticed some of your hair falling out of the bun you put it in earlier. You nod your head.

“Yes, yeah I’m okay, I just feel exhausted.” You smile goofily. He presses a kiss to your forehead and your lips. You hum appreciatively and kiss him in return briefly. You two share a sweet, loving look. You lean back a little so you can look into Crowleys eyes, wanting to check on him.

His cheeks are flushed but his eyes are closed. You and Aziraphale glance at one another and you giggle. Aziraphale props himself up on one elbow to see the demons face. You lean down to kiss each one of Crowleys cheeks and he mumbles incoherently before opening his eyes. “Are you back in the land of living Crowley?” You ask teasingly as you brush your noses together in an intimate gesture, giving the demon butterflies.

“Barely,” he responds with one word, making you and the Angel laugh. Crowley grips the bottoms of your thighs and pulls you up his waist a little bit, letting his cock slip out of you. You wiggle uncomfortably as you feel their releases now start to drip out of both your holes. Not to mention the mess you made of Crowleys belly.

“Can one of you miracle away this mess please?” you request.

“I’ve got it my love,” Aziraphale responds, voice sweet and he waves his hand once, making the mess you all created disappear. You all but purr against Crowleys chest in return.

“Thanks Angel,” you say happily. “Should we make Crowley sleep in the middle tonight?” you ask Aziraphale, who hums thoughtfully in response. Crowley cuts in.

“No no, you two are like heaters, I’ll sweat to death if I sleep in the middle.” You slide off the demons chest and you lay on his other side, feeling sore all over.

“Nope too late, you’re sleeping in the middle, right Angel?” you ask, slipping an arm around his waist, resting your head on his chest. Aziraphale giggles. He sits up to grab the blanket at the foot of the bed and pulls it up covering all three of you. Laying down he wraps his own arm around the demons waist as well, rubbing your forearm softly.

“Crowley you can’t say no, you’ve been gone all week dear. Give us this one thing.” The Angel replies, cheekily. Crowley turns his head to glare at Aziraphale who takes the chance to kiss him, pressing their lips together sweetly. Truthfully, Crowley really can’t say no to either of you.

“Fine! Fine, but only tonight,” Crowley relents, pulling away from the kiss. You use a finger to turn his head by his chin. You kiss the demon as well. Crowley moans softly at the feeling. You pull back and lock eyes with your Angel, who smiles at you both with a look that says he’s in love.

“Come here, kiss me sweet girl,” he whispers. You can’t help but lean over Crowley to kiss Aziraphale just as eagerly.

“Oi, oi! No kissing over me, I don’t have the energy for another round right now.” Crowley says, pouting. You and Aziraphale part, nuzzling noses for a second before each laying back down on your respective sides of Crowley. You all snuggle up closely.

“Welcome home Crowley, I love you both,” you whisper, happily as someone snaps their fingers and the light shuts off, blanketing you all in darkness. You feel the demons arm snake under you and curl around your waist and the Angel tangles your fingers together, letting them rest on Crowleys belly. They both whisper I love you in return. Your heart feels full as you no longer lay in an incomplete bed.

[werexpuppy]

I love the 1941 era, it gave us so many lovely scenarios and fics to play with (¬‿¬)🔥 and it's hard to resist her in that suit n tie 💕

I know a certain fussy angel has pictures perfect memory and saves those moments to sketch up later, then fumble around and hide as them hips swagger in with a HEY ANGEL!! WHATCHU DOIN?!🤣🤣🤣

Also the wonderfully helpful nightingales of Tumblr have provided some divine inspiration!

Such as our favorite midwife/cobbler!!

✨Bildad the Shuite✨ Need any shoes?

And our man bun ICON!! (//∇//)💕 It’s a crime against humanity we didn’t get to see this Crowley longer! I loved this look!!

As always I'm open to more suggestions on your favorite Crowley era! If you got one feel free to drop them like a sassy blonde dropping their dark brooding-you know what… Still too soon 💔

➡️ I’ll be adding more batches soon so stay tuned and check out the others I’ve done!! (ΦωΦ)

Reblogs with hilarious tags are more than welcome 💕

*I mentioned it in my first post but I'll be cosplaying as Aziraphale at next year's cons and I'll be setting up my booth to look like the bookshop! So I'll be selling all my good omens sketches and merch as the softest angel xD

[aziraphales-library]

hello!! i love you all so much (platonic) and appreciate the work you do. do you have any recs where one/both of the ineffable husbands/wives is getting out of a relationship and goes to the other for comfort and maybe realizes they've been in love with them the whole time? thanks so much <333333

Here are some break-up friends-to-lovers fics for you...

I'm All Yours by FeralTuxedo (E)

Anthony J. Crowley knew he looked like a walking mid-life crisis. The tight jeans, half-up bun and sunglasses positively screamed ‘I left my wife for the babysitter and bought a vintage car just to feel alive again.’ In an adaptation of his life, he’d be played by Hugh Grant. He looked like a divorcee desperate for action, and it didn’t help that he was currently standing outside a nightclub surrounded by drunk twenty-year-olds. But Crowley wasn’t here for a good time tonight. He was on a rescue mission. Crowley has been rescuing his friend Aziraphale over and over again for a decade. Hopelessly in love, ready to jump at a moment’s notice when he was needed. When Aziraphale finally breaks up with his partner, Crowley is there to help him through what’s looking to be one hell of a mid-life crisis. Things could finally change. If he manages not to mess it up again. A human AU with a whole forest’s worth of pining squeezed into a single day.

…And They Were Roommates by Mimsynims (E)

“You know… I just remembered that Richard and I were going away for a few days next month.” Something devious came over him. “Richard paid for it, but the booking is in my name.” Crowley quickly caught on to what he was getting at. “Ooh, I see. That’s convenient.” He grinned. “For us." When Aziraphale's boyfriend Richard (Dick) breaks up with him, he and his roommate Crowley hijacks an intended couples' vacation and uses it for themselves. Lines that had started to blur even before their trip gets even more blurry - which perhaps isn't the best thing when both are hiding a crush on the other (and communication isn't their strong suit).

Ezra at the Wedding by tenandi (E)

Ezra's ex is moving on but he's determined to stop the wedding. With his handsome neighbor masquerading as his new love interest, will he win back his true love and rewrite the happy ending he deserves? - Crowley was leaning against the doorframe, obviously hungover and running on about two hours of sleep. A ripped t-shirt hung off one shoulder over a pair of boxers with devil ducks printed all over them. To top it all off, he was wearing black velvet slippers embroidered with his monogram. In any other instance, Ezra would have laughed but he was too busy being wrapped up in his anguish. “What do you want, Crowley?” Ezra fumed. “I am having a moment here!”

You are HoMe (Half of Me) by angelsnuffbox (T)

Aziraphale had gotten dumped, plain and simple. But that small detail wasn’t nearly as important as all the things that happened after he’d gotten dumped - such as coming to a few realisations about his best friend of sixteen years.

Hooped Earrings by OfEden (E)

After 29 years Azira comes out. While her family and ex boyfriend don't support her, her life long best friend is there by her side every step of the way.

Crawling Back To You by madrabbitwrites (NR)

College-age Aziraphale pushed his closest friend away and moved out of town with his married Literature professor in a panicked attempt at escaping his family’s rampant homophobia. Years later, devastated by a dreadful break-up, he’s returned to his small hometown to live with his brother and attempt to heal his broken heart (and broken life, if he were being honest with himself). What he didn’t count on was his old friend Crawley- now calling himself Crowley and looking dashing as ever- to have returned as well. Crawley’s wounds from their last argument are deep and Aziraphale may never be able to regain what they once had, but he’d certainly like to try. The two of them need to have an actual conversation, but that’s not really how these plots go, is it?

- Mod D

[doonarose]

GOAD Writer's Guild presents: A Bathhouse Pretense

CW/TW: Explicit, sex in public, orgy scenes and descriptions of other men having sex, the exhibitionism/voyeurism that goes with that , wet and messy comeplay things, edging, cockwarming.

Summary: Written for the @goodomensafterdark Valentine's Gift Exchange (yes, it's May, I'm so sorry!! Chapter 1 was posted back then but it has been a journey to finish this one up!) For Zaay-zaay who requested top Crowley in a bathhouse with kissing and maybe cockwarming. To wit:

Aziraphale seeks Crowley out in 38 BC Rome, and finds him in a bathhouse which just so happens to be hosting an orgy. Aziraphale is there to discuss upcoming celestial business, Crowley is there for a good time, but when Hastur happens to drop by, it gives them an (admittedly flimsy) excuse to get close, and then closer still.

First time sex in the back corner bath, canon compliant, much edging, feelings and filth.

Word count: 18k, complete!

Thanks: Good lord! Everyone!! Thanks to Fuzzygoblinoid for the beautiful header art!

Thanks enormously to my three betas on the second chapter: Likeafuckingninja, Gingercat and Natyu0815. Ninja who held my hand for weeks after falling off the writing horse and trying to clamber back on, Natyu for the cheerleading, and Ginger for the very last minute swoop in with some cracker ideas! Thanks also to Fishey_me and FuzzyGoblin for their insanely quick beta on the first chapter!

Thanks also to all the people in the GOAD Writer's Guild chat who have listened to my whining about trying to write part two for literal months! And thanks again to Zaay-zaay for a fantastic prompt that took me a little outside my comfort zone and then being insanely chill about overly long porn and a very long delay!

Excerpt: In the end, he recognises Crowley by his laugh: low and gravelly, but genuine. His hair’s much darker when it’s wet. He’s close to the back edge of the second bath, the hotter one, Aziraphale guesses, judging by the slick of steam shimmering over the liquid. He’s slid down on a low submerged bench so that the water’s lapping at his shoulders.

It suddenly occurs to Aziraphale that he could have found Crowley here in flagrante delicto – plenty of others are. The thought crosses his mind like it’s been scratching to get out of a sealed box, and he only has a moment to unpack it, turn it over, and then push it back somewhere locked away.

Thankfully, Crowley’s being entertained more simply, by a man lying flat on his belly across the floor behind him, a towel covering his buttocks, as he leans close to Crowley’s ear and speaks in hushed whispers. He’s got his fingertips buried in Crowley’s dark hair, half of it amassed in a bun and the rest hanging loose to his shoulders, as he massages Crowley’s scalp. The interloper has white blonde hair drawn back in long curls tied off at the nape of his neck, he looks middle-aged, stocky, the slopes of his back and arse broad and supple.

The blonde says something else that makes Crowley tip his head back and laugh, and the man tightens his fingers in Crowley’s hair, tipping his face back further so he can lean forward and over him, bite at the angle of his jaw from above and then draw back to dangle a bunch of green grapes over his lips.

Crowley plucks one with his teeth and slides back into the water, so that it laps at his chin as he chews. He sees Aziraphale suddenly, surprise making his bright yellow eyes go wide and then his lips smile around the last of the grape juice and he arches an eyebrow.

“Aziraphale!” he says, voice warm and drawled as though the baths and whatever else he’s been up to here have him relaxed, perhaps even sated.

To continue reading head on over to AO3!

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

star wars but I've never watched it

I'm flirting with death (the star wars fandom) and it's about to succumb. I mean, be seduced. I promise when I flirt the intended result is not succumbing (usually). Here, have this, I know you maggots have missed my summaries they're so comprehensive and well-researched. Two cups of black coffee down. LET'S GO, MAGGOTS.

It is not Star Trek, and if I mix them up, both fandoms will tear me limb from limb, but mainly Star Trek because they're less popular?

No, that was not intended to be inflammatory, it's just what I was warned when I first got kidnapped. Don't blame the student, blame the system.

LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER.

Except that's actually a misquote, it's No, I am your father. Mad trivia game. Huge star wars fan, me (why do I sound like Crowley).

It's set in outer space.

Are daleks stormtroopers?

Yoda pulls sentences in half like Crowley pulls Aziraphale's legs apart while they're not talking, and then tries interesting positions.

Leia has space-buns and makes out with Luke.

Luke is Leia's brother.

Anakin, whom I thought was some sexy babygirl side character, is apparently Darth Vader.

I am certain some people still find him a sexy babygirl. I just hope if he has a sister, she doesn't.

Is incest hereditary? Besides the obvious, I mean.

Small and green, Yoda is.

Daleks or not, there are storm-troopers, and they wear white plastic but not in a kinky way. Mostly. I remember one video a maggot showed me of a dustbin and--anyway.

They have bad aim.

There is a Death Star, and there is also a Death Star in Star Trek, but this is the more obvious one.

It has machinery specially engineered so if you shoot at that one place, the entire spaceship explodes or shuts down, which is a convenient feature.

A baby Yoda, they made. To make merchandise in time, Disney failed. Money, they lost.

There's something called the Force which everyone irl uses to try and get their remote to fly to them while sitting on the couch watching TV. They squint and reach out their hand while doing this. It rarely works.

There are a lot of unnecessary sequels and prequels. People are not happy.

A lot of Star Wars has inspiration drawn from ancient Indian philosophy and Hindu mythology. Just fun trivia, since I'm such a huge Star Wars fan.

Chewbacca?

R2D2? Robot go beep beep.

Han Solo and Leia get together.

Who is Han Solo? The guy who witnessed Leia making out with her brother. Whatever gets you off, king.

Dead, Yoda might be. Not sure, I am.

Rogue 1?

Return of the... Empire? No, wait, Jedi.

Empire Strikes Back!

Jedi exist. Because uh, it was in the title. They'd better exist.

Luke's daddy cuts off his hand. Not in a sexual way. But you never know with this family.

End (Not. Disney is going to milk this cash cow till they run out of ideas because of underpaid writers, and then they'll do a remake, probably).

Welcome, you are. Comprehensive, all-inclusive, this summary is.

[twstfanblog]

!*~Valentine's Times~*! pt 1

A/N: This Valentine's Day fic got so fucking big I had to break it up into parts. So I decided to also post them leading up to Valentine's day! Another thank you to @bun-lapin for allowing me to use their lovely OCs! At this point I've just become their foster mother XD Word Count: 5.2K Warnings: She/They Pronouns OC Pairings: Paternal Crewel & Yuu, Grandpa Trein & Yuu L (Here). O (Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle). V (Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia). E (Crack)

L is for the way you look at me...

The thought had luckily hit them mid-way through January. After confirming with Crewel that Valentine’s Day was still very much a holiday in Twisted Wonderland, Yuu realized they had a large number of chocolates they wanted to give out. Not even counting their boyfriends’ families, they had made a number of friends and pseudo-family members in this new world that deserved to be shown love and appreciation. So, Yuu had to think up and create or buy over thirty gifts. And that’s only people on the school campus; they knew they wanted to send chocolates to their boyfriend's family members, as a thank you for being so nice to them. Sadly, they were very aware they were not going to get that much money out of Crowley, no matter how they worded their nonexistent blackmail. So they sat in their kitchen, fingernails tapping against the island counter as they thought about how to make their plan come to fruition. 

Then the idea struck. Alone the task was basically impossible with their schedule normally filled by their loved ones and their bullshit. But, with help, it was very possible.

They quickly jogged to the window leading to the backyard of Ramshackle. Opening it and sticking their head out they gleefully sang, “Oh fairies~!? I have a deal to make with you~!” Then they stepped back, crossing their arms and waiting as the sound of flapping wings grew louder and louder.

Soon a burst of fairies all flew into the kitchen, the small doll-sized beings finding places to sit as they looked at them in curiosity. Yuu never thought their old habit of leaving bowls of milk out for strays would result in having pull with the sizable fairy population that lived on the Night Raven campus. But they weren't complaining. The fairies were cute and more than willing to do minor repairs and upkeep of Ramshackle for cubes of sugar or meat. Once they were all seated and quiet, Yuu spoke.

“Hello, my dear Fairy Folk. I have an offer to give today that I hope you will take. The day of love is coming up in a few weeks and I would adore it if you'd all help me craft my treats for my larger loved ones.”

The fairies all turned to each other, whispering to themselves with tinkling tones and excited wing flutters. Soon, one lone familiar fairy flew up and landed on Yuu's waiting hand, “Yes, Timothy? Your demands?”

Timothy was a ‘Tinkering Fairy’. Yuu had met him first of all the fairies that came to Ramshackle for milk and treats. The tiny male trying to open and fix the bird feeder after Yuu had improperly filled it, leaving it to be jammed and useless. Timothy was also more than willing to try his hand at fixing anything that broke in Ramshackle. A service he would create himself if Yuu didn't give him something to do frequently enough.

The tinker fairy chimed out, hands moving in wide arcs before looking at Yuu with a raised eyebrow and crossed arms. The fairies were well aware Yuu couldn't understand them, but since they wore their emotions so openly Yuu had no issue determining if they were upset with them or not.

Yuu hummed, their free hand reaching up to tap at their chin in mock thought, “I'm guessing you want to know what your payment would be?” She smiles at Timothy's excited chiming, “Well, I'm not gonna ask you guys to work for free. I'm going to be buying a lot of sugar, fruit, and chocolate to get a discount from Sam. Anything left over from the gift-making will be for you guys to take.”

Another wave of excited chiming comes from the crowd, many of them already nodding their heads in agreement. But Timothy tapped his foot, arms crossed with an annoyingly cute pout on his lips.

Yuu rolled their eyes but still smiled, using a hand to poke at Timothy's chest, “And~ everyone who helps is guaranteed a kiss.” Was it underhanded to use the tiny fairy's unrequited crush against him? Yes, very so. Was it a surefire way to get him to agree and subsequently gather up every other fairy in the woods to help? Also yes.

But, luckily, Timothy took the bait, beaming and having his wings flutter so hard he nearly took off from their palm.

“We got a deal then?” Yuu holds out their pinky, letting Timothy grip it with both his hands as they shook on it.

It took time to get the seemingly metric tons of chocolates delivered. Not to mention testing out fillings and last-minute ordering luster dust and various colored chocolate pearls. Plus convincing Crewel to teach them how to make the molds he uses in his alchemy lollipop lesson to make sure they had every shape needed. But by nearly 11pm on February 13th, Yuu and the fairy entourage had completed every last bag of chocolate. Yuu had bagged up their respective groups of treats in clear plastic bags and colorful ribbons. Ribbons that were being re-tied by a flora fairy wearing a scrap of Pomefiore printed fabric as a stylish wrap skirt. The fairy re-tying the ribbons into more fanciful knots and bows with a critical eye.

“Thank you, Tulip. Vil is gonna love these bows.” Yuu smiles as the fairy's wings flutter in happiness. Giving their chocolates one last look over and a glance at the clock, Yuu claps their hands to gain the gathering's attention, “Alright everybody! That's a wrap. Time to discuss payment.”

The fairies stood at attention, none more eager than Timothy.

“As promised, the remaining chocolates, cream, and fruit are yours to take back into the hollow with you.” Yuu watched as a number of fairies quickly gathered up the remaining blocks of chocolate, using their combined strength to lift the pounds up and out of the kitchen. Several other fairies grabbed the containers of cream and fruits to do the same.

Soon there were no fairies left in the kitchen, “Oh, fuck wait. Their kisses…” a chime brings Yuu's attention to the island. Timothy standing alone and smiling brightly up at them, “Oh, of course you'd want your kiss more than anyone.” With a fond smile and a shake of their head they say, “Close your eyes.”

Timothy closes his eyes, wings nearly vibrating from his excitement. A kiss! From the pixie of his dreams, nothing could-

A sudden weight against his chest makes him open his eyes. A drop wrapped in shiny aluminum with a paper tail sticking out of the top was placed in his arms. He blinks, looking at Yuu in confusion as they lean on the counter with a mischievous smile.

“There you are. A kiss.”

…

Yuu laughs as Timothy starts to rage, his tiny body almost turning completely red as he throws the chocolate drop on the counter. Stomping around until he just sat down, arms crossed and legs splayed out. A frustrated pout on his face.

“Come on! It's a kiss, just as I promised.” Yuu was sure they had gained favor with the fairies because they enjoyed playing tricks just as much as the smaller fae did. But as Timothy's wings slowly started to droop in actual sadness, Yuu coos. Leaning more on the island to try and catch a glimpse of the fairy's face, “Aw…don't be mad Timmy. A chocolate kiss isn't so bad right?”

The tinker actually shuffled himself to angle away from Yuu, feet kicking in mild anger before going still again.

Yuu rolls her eyes, smiling at Timothy before snapping her fingers to gain the fairy's attention. Once the pouting fae looked over his shoulder at her, she held up her pointer finger. Making sure Timothy saw Yuu kiss the point of her finger before bringing it to tap against his cheek, “Mwah.”

It took the fairy a few moments to realize what she had done. But when he did, his whole body flushed red, a wide smile stretching his face as his wings fluttered so hard Yuu was certain she heard them buzzing. She laughs, cupping her hand under Timothy just in case he fell, “I'm glad you're happy with your kiss,” using her other hand to pluck the forgotten chocolate from the counter, placing it into his arms again, “Now go party with your friends before they eat all the fruit.”

Timothy nods, blush fading to just his cheeks. He flies to the window, only to pause and quickly turn around. Yuu blinked, realizing the small fairy had zipped closer to place a tiny kiss on her cheek before flying away into the night.

Yuu chuckles, tapping her own cheek in amusement before closing the window and exiting the kitchen. It was late and Yuu had a very busy day in the morning.

Yuu huffed, walking down the path to Sam's shop with Grim pouting beside them. Both were dressed in more fanciful attire for the holiday. Grim in an elaborate layering of red, white, and black ribbons tied to give him a massive bow. Yuu was in a gray overall dress, bright red tights with black imprints of hearts patterning them. A loose, white long sleeve and platform white ankle boots. The outfit accessorized with their hair tied back in a half updo by a red ribbon and a red heart-shaped pendant around their neck. A large black tote bag with heart patterned argyle thumping against their side.

“Stop pouting, people are gonna think I hit you.” Yuu looked to their side, raising an eyebrow at Grim's atomic pout and tear-filled eyes.

The dire beast looks up at them, expression still on the verge of tears yet angry, “You didn't make me any chocolates! You didn't even let me have any of the gummies you left out for the fairies! They already got a bunch of stuff, this isn't fair at all!” Grim took a moment to stomp his foot, even trying to breathe fire at the tote bag slung over Yuu's shoulder.

They manage to step out of the way, glaring down at Grim, “Ay! Enough! You'll get something good from Sam's if you stop being a little bastard.”

“No! I will continue to be a little bastard because you don't love me!”

“Oh my seven, you are a toddler.” Yuu shakes their head, opening the door and pushing a stubborn Grim into the shop with their foot, “Sam! I'm here for my things!”

The shadow clerk seemed to rise from behind his front counter, as though he was just crouched and waiting for someone to come in, “Lil pup! Perfect timing, my friends and I just finished wrapping up your orders.” He reached behind the counter, pulling out five small but decorated bags, “And my friends have also placed your package in your room as paid for by discreet delivery fees. Anything else I can do ya for?”

Yuu peeked as much as they could into the bags without ruining Sam's carefully placed tissue paper and ribbon decorations. Smiling at each gift Yuu nods, “Just one thing, Sam” They point below them, calling the shopkeeper’s attention to the pouting lump on the floor, “Can you watch this pathetic creature for me? Just for a bit.”

Sam couldn't help but snicker, “Aw…what's wrong kitty cat? Tuna can go bad?”

Grim looks up at Sam, face pulled as though he smelled something sour, “Yuu doesn't love me…”

“Aw~.”

Yuu rolls her eyes, grabbing the black and blue striped bag from the counter before holding it out in front of Grim's pouting figure.

The dire beast looks at the bag in interest, snatching it away from Yuu and ignoring their remark of ‘rude’. Grim opened the bag with excitement only to pout at seeing a black square of fabric, “What am I supposed to do with this!?”

“Oh, Grim. You dumbass.” Yuu kneels down, reaching into the bag and pulling out a simple wallet. They take the time to show the back, smiling as Grim's eyes glitter at the laminated school logo and gold lettering of ‘Night Raven Student’. Yuu clips the wallet to one side of Grim's collar, showing him how the clip was on a retractable line.

“...Okay. This is kinda cool. But it still isn't as good as chocolate…”

Sam hums from above them, leaning over the counter to witness their exchange, “I don't know kitty cat. I think you got a pretty sweet gift.”

“Grim, with this wallet I give you the gift of your own debit card.” Yuu gestures around them, “With it, you may purchase whatever food you want without my permission. Idia agreed to sponsor your bank account so I know you've got money on that thing.”

Grim's expression went from confused to shocked then excited. He fumbled with the wallet, paws managing to see the front of the wallet was actually clear plastic, showing the simple black card with his name spelled out in blocky neon blue letters. Yuu bought him snacks, sure. But they were also always eating them just as much as he was, claiming it was the ‘purchase tax’ since they bought them. But…if he bought the snacks himself…

“Y-ya mean it!? I can buy any kinda snack I want!?”

“Yep.”

“And you can't steal any of it!?”

“Nooope.” They pop their lips on the ending ‘P’. Reaching forward to pet Grim's head lovingly, leaning to place a kiss on his forehead, “Happy Valentine’s Day, lil guy.”

Grim jumps for joy, spinning in a circle before speeding off into Sam's shop. His echoing call of ‘Thank you’ fading the deeper he went into the store.

“...Hey, Sam, how big is this place?”

“So what else are you doing today lil pup?” Sam asked, eyes clearly telling Yuu to stop questioning the physics of his store.

They roll their eyes, grabbing the other four gift bags and carefully placing them in their tote bag, “Well, I'm going to deliver festive Valentine's treats to my favorite people on campus.”

“Oh?” Sam perks up, a hand held out as though to receive a gift.

…

Yuu continues to smile at Sam's confused expression, tilting their head in question when he frowned, “Something wrong Sam?”

“That's cold, lil pup. After all those gummies I legally don't sell you.” The man curls his lip at them, waving them away as he walks from behind the counter, “Get out of my store. I got no place for solicitors in here.”

Yuu laughs, waving as Sam walked deeper into the store, possibly to keep Grim from making too big a mess, “Bye Sam! Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Once Sam's grumbling figure was out of view, Yuu looked along the ground before hissing out a whisper at a passing shadow, “Hey. Hey. Come here…”

The inky blob blinks up to them with glowing purple eyes, the image of curiosity. Yuu pulls a baggie from their tote. A clear plastic bag with a bright purple ribbon tying it shut, the bag was filled with a mixture of dark, milk, and white chocolate shapes of bones, skulls, and ghosts. Scattered throughout the bag were varying sizes of black and purple chocolate pearls.

Yuu hands the baggie to the shadow, “Throw this at the back of Sam's head as hard as you can.”

The shadow's expression turned wicked, a tendril of black reaching from the floor and engulfing the bag before the being zooms away. Yuu giggles, rushing out of the shop just as Sam yells in pain.

Sam glares at the snickering shadows at his feet, “What the hell…what'd ya even throw at me…?” He looks over the bag, a smile slowly breaking across his face as he realizes where the bag of chocolate came from, “Aw…” Sam throws the bag into the air, catching it with one hand before tucking it into his apron, “I'm gonna charge them double next time they come in…”

The teacher’s housing building acted as a dorm on campus, though most would find it felt more like a mini hotel. Complete with an elegant sitting area the faculty met in often, either to plan outings or simply complain about the many problem students of Night Raven.

Hui-Yan shrugs, swirling her mug of black coffee before speaking, “I just think it's coddling them. You're entitled to your own option, that's simply how I feel about it.”

Ingrid hummed, pulling her own cream and sugar-filled coffee away from her lips, “No, I understand. I'm asking why you think the children having access to an infirmary is coddling them?”

From his armchair, Trein sighs. Placing Lucious's brush to the side as he spoke aloud, “We should teach them basic first aid…”

Vargas nearly overfills his mug of coffee, only saving himself from burning his hand as Iomhar tilted the pot back, “Wait. Do we not teach them first aid?”

Crewel sighs, lazily typing on his phone with one hand and the other pouring a splash of rum from his flask into his mug, “No…we should though…”

Iomhar nods solemnly, taking the pot from Vargas, “They have been almost dying a lot this year…”

Ingrid leaned forward, eyes trained on Hui-Yan even though the other woman clearly looked done with their short conversation, “Oh~. This a fragmented hint at your tragic past?”

Edric doesn't look up from his holographic screen, tapping away as he sipped his smoothie, “The cases of near-death experiences are up by 72% from last year.”

Trein sputters, eyes widening at Edric's calculations, “72%!?”

Crewel placed his phone down, finally thinking back to all the explosions he'd had in his potions classes that year, “Oh Seven, please tell me it isn't that high because of me.”

Ingrid smiled at Hui-Yan's blank, mildly annoyed stare, “Let me guess. You were…injured during your super lethal swordswoman training-”

“Surprisingly, no, Crewel. Though your classes are a main contributor to the yearly burn injury percentage.”

Trein huffs, glaring down his nose at Crewel, “Honestly, all these years and still so irresponsible…”

“-but, when the doctor entered, you knew it was a trap-”

Crewel mimics Trein under his breath before speaking louder, “All these years and you're still on my ass, old man.”

Vargas hummed from his cup of coffee, nudging Edric lightly, “Well, what's causing it?”

“Unsurprisingly, the thing that Crowley's been black boxing on all our official reports since the beginning of the year.”

Vargas hums again, louder and with a more strained look on his face, “...That's been happening a lot this year now that I think about it.”

Trein scratches at Lucious' ear, eyebrows furrowed in thought, “At a seemingly increasing rate too…”

“-So as your lover lay dying in your arms you swore to never enter an infirmary again!”

“Ingrid, darling?” Crewel smiled sweetly, though he was slowly growing just as annoyed as Hui-Yan's schooled features hid, “Can you focus on the real conversation for forty seconds?”

Edric hums, raising an eyebrow at his screen, “Speaking of Yuu, she's entered the building.”

“They've what-”

The doors to the sitting area suddenly burst open, Yuu stood in the entryway with a wide smile, “Hi~!”

Hui-Yan groans under her breath, mumbling into her mug of coffee, “Oh no…”

Yuu pouts, walking farther into the room to place their bag on the dining table, “I've done nothing to you…”

“I don't trust you, child.”

“Well, I guess I can take my delightful gifts and just fuck off then, huh?”

Ingrid quickly stood up, smiling with her eyes glittering as she crowded against Yuu, “Gifts? For me? Your favorite teacher!?”

Crewel clicks his tongue, sneering at Ingrid, “Oh, like you'd be my puppy's favorite…”

Before the two could start bickering, Yuu started pulling out the gift bags and clear ribbon-tied packages and handing them to the respective teachers.

“For you Ms. Oster.” A plaid and golden-trimmed gift bag was placed in her waiting hands. Yuu smiled as the teacher pulled out a small store-bought heart-shaped box of fancy chocolates and a jeweled bracelet, “I thought you could vague text photos to your sisters and have them think you're dating someone-”

“-Then I could act nonchalant but clearly flustered! Oh, that's perfect!” Ingrid quickly clicked the bracelet onto her wrist, rushing off to the corner to take photos of the chocolate and her bejeweled wrist.

Yuu turns to Hui-Yan, rolling her eyes as the woman squints at her, “Literally, I have never done anything to you.”

“I’ve heard enough of what you’ve done. I also don’t like sweets nor accept jewelry. You have nothing civil to offer me.”

Yuu holds up a clear bag tied closed with an ornate black ribbon, four skewers of Tanghulu inside. Each skewer held three large green grapes, with various fruits adding more color and variety. Slices of pineapple and kiwi cut into star and heart shapes.

Hui-Yan stared at the bag in Yuu’s hand, eyes seemingly trying to burn a hole through the plastic and remelt the sugar. She sighs, holding her hand out and letting Yuu cheer and smack the treat into her grasp. She makes quick work of opening the bag to bite off one of the fruits, chewing lightly before she mumbles out, “The shell is too thick.”

Yuu was in the process of handing Edric his bag, only to turn and harshly whisper to Hui-Yan, “Experience happiness for just…40 seconds, okay?” Instead of placing the white and red pixel-patterned bag into Edric’s waiting hands, they swing the bag into a high arch to smack lightly against Edric’s blank face.

“...” The Ignihyde advisor doesn’t respond, undoing the black ribbon and looking into the bag. The only emotion shown on his face was his one visible eyebrow raising in surprise, a hand pulling out several USBs designed to look like mini candy bars, “Oh…I didn’t have a Chuckles* one of these…” He pockets that singular USB, placing the other’s back in the bag and muttering under his breath, “Satisfying.”

Iomhar sat up straighter when Yuu turned to him, “Ok…I wasn’t sure what the hell to get you. But, I know you like bears…So I made these.” Yuu holds out the bag tied with an orange ribbon, small graham crackers shaped like bears with chocolate piped faces and milk chocolate shaped like axes inside, “Do you like them?”

“...” Iomhar smiles, taking the bag and holding it close to his chest as he gave a simple nod in thanks.

“Fuck yes.” Yuu briefly pumps their fist, high-fiving themself as congratulations on a job well done. Turning to Vargas they open their mouth only to have the buff man hold up a hand to silence them.

“No need, Ramshackle. I don’t eat chocolate; too many empty calories.”

“Yeah, I assumed you would say that. So I got you this, you weird man.” They reach into their tote bag, pulling out a large container of chocolate-flavored protein powder with a combo of red and yellow bows wrapped around it.

“Ooooo, this is a good brand…” Vargas takes the container, smiling and nodding in approval as he read over the ingredients and serving sizes.

Yuu then turns to Crewel, the two of them giving each other small smiles, “Papa Dog.”

“Puppy.”

In sync, they hand each other black and white patterned bags; Yuu handing Crewel a bag with bright red ribbon straps, edged with red lace and filled with black and white tissue paper while Crewel hands over a black and white bag with gold trimming and filled with teal tissue paper. He opens his gift, pulling out two chunks of bone that seemed to be freshly removed from an animal.

The other teachers all look at the bones in concern, Vargas lightly leaning away from Yuu, “Ramshackle, who’d you rip those out of!?”

Crewel coos, smiling as he gave the bones a once over before putting them back, “Beef bones for Chenille and Muslin*! They’ll love them, puppy.”

Yuu opens their own bag, gasping as they pull out a black leather, spiked collar. The spikes twisted engraved bulbs and swirling designs stamped into the leather, “Yes! You got me the Mad Dog choker!” They quickly unclasp their heart pendant necklace, wrapping the chain around the collar to have the heart act as a tag. Reclasping the necklace and then clicking the collar closed with a giddy smile, “Thank you!”

Crewel accepts their hug, humming before letting Yuu pull away, “Well, you weren't subtle in the least about wanting it. I'd have to be blind and deaf to not see all the hints you were dropping.”

“I will apologize for gluing the ad for it to the rearview window of your car…” Yuu hands over a clear bag. Tied closed with black, red, and white ribbons and filled with bone-shaped chocolates. Crewel raises an eyebrow at the red luster dusted lumps throughout the bag, “Those are chocolate-dipped raisins. Since honestly, raisin butter is fucking gross and I wasn't gonna try to taste test chocolate with it.”

Crewel pulls Yuu into another hug, gently petting their head, “Thank you, puppy. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Happy Valentine's Day, Papa Dog.”

Trein looks up in surprise when Yuu steps in front of him. He pets Lucious, raising an eyebrow in question, “Yes, Yuu?”

They smile, holding out a clear baggie with what he assumed to be truffles delicately shaped to resemble cats with red and purple colored chocolate pearls inside, “For my favorite teacher.”

Trien could only smile as he accepted the chocolates, ignoring the others exploding at the fact he was Yuu's favorite.

“I am literally your father, you little-”

“Wait, what!? I was texting my sister, who's the favorite?”

“Come on, Ramshackle! I thought you loved my class!”

“I mean, I don't like you, so…”

“I taught you how to snap a bone with only a strike. How am I not your favorite…?”

Edric looked up from his screen, eyeing Iomhar with a level of intensity as though the taller man had personally slighted him, “Why would you teach them that…?”

“...”

Yuu held the last gift bag up, matte burgundy with a purple ribbon keeping it tied close, “And a gift for the lovely Lucious…” Reaching inside, Yuu pulled out a fancy silver bowl on rococo-styled legs to give it height.

Trien takes the cat bowl with a smile, bringing it closer to Lucious to smell the object, “How thoughtful of you. This is a wonderful present…” He reaches into his breast pocket, pulling out a card and handing it to Yuu, “A gift as well. I'm sure you'll enjoy it.”

Reading the card, Yuu's eyes widened, rereading it a few times before they let out a scream and jumped up and down out of joy, “REALLY!? REALLY, REALLY!?”

“While it's not the physical copies, I was sure you'd still like a copy.” Trein had gifted Yuu their own digital copy of one, if not the, largest collection of historical facts of Twisted Wonderland. It was a multi-volume series that was basically a staple of every historical educator's must-read list. So while Trein would have loved to gift the budding historian the whole physical set, a digital copy would be much easier to handle at the moment.

Yuu squeals, spinning around before throwing their arms around Trein's neck and pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Thank you, grandpa!” They pulled away, hands clasped tightly against the card as they ran out of the room, no doubt to quickly redeem their book at the nearest computer.

Trein sat in his chair, smiling with just an air of smugness as he stroked a purring Lucious, “I'm the favorite.”

Crewel huffed, harshly chewing on a chocolate bone, “Oh, fuck you, old man…”

Crowley sat in his office, sighing as he looked over his pile of paperwork. He'd normally slip the forms into his coworkers' own workloads and simply collect them later. But they were all very firm on not doing any work during holidays, even if they were minor reports or the expense balancing he had put off to the last minute. He huffs, shuffling the papers around. Honestly, he was the Headmage, how could not only his subordinates but also his students bully him into making minor holidays free days?

He perks up hearing the door click open, “Hello?”

Yuu stood in the doorway, frowning in disdain before they closed the door behind them and walked closer. They stop at his desk, looking at him as though he was some great annoyance they weren't allowed to rid themselves of.

“...”

“...”

“Do you need something-”

“You are literally the worst type of educator I have ever met.”

“AH- Excuse you!?”

Yuu kept going, as though his outburst wasn't even registered, “You're lazy, irresponsible, a hypocrite, deeply suspicious, kinda ugly-”

Crowley clasped his hands, breathing in through his nose as he closed his eyes. They'd…run out of hurtful words at some point…he's sure of it. He tries to hide it but could only pout at seeing Yuu had started counting on their fingers all of his supposed ‘negative’ traits.

“-terrible at dealing with your students, the other teachers don't even respect you, you do so many shitty things openly it's almost hard not to blackmail you, you haven't replaced the damn computers in the library even though they are probably as old as you, and also, I don't think you know what the word ‘kind’ means…”

“...” Crowley huffs, snatching his papers off his desk to bring them closer to his face, “Well, if you're quite finished! I have work to do, since you seem to think I'm so lazy!”

Yuu stares at him, a hand on their hip as they rolled their eyes at Crowley's tantrum, “But…” they sigh as Crowley peaks untrusting eyes over his stack of papers, “I…care about you.” They reach into their tote and pull out a plastic bag tied closed with royal blue and black ribbons, holding it like a wet towel with two fingers. Gold luster dusted feather-shaped dark chocolates with pearls of dark blue scattered inside.

Crowley looks at the chocolates in shock before he exclaims in happiness. He snatches them from Yuu's loose grasp and coos, “Oh! My thoughtful beneficiary, what a lovely surprise! I knew you wouldn't forget to gift your caring, supportive, kind patron this holiday!” he stands, ignoring Yuu annoyingly shying away as he gathers them up into a hug.

“Ugh. Stop endearing yourself to me with your sad, wet rat display…” They still hug Crowley back with a small smile, “They're filled with coconut cream. Happy Valentine’s Day, Crowley. Now get off of me, I got places to be.” 

“Yes. I suppose you do. Have a wonderful day my dear, Happy Valentine's Day!” They exchange waves, Yuu slamming the door shut behind them much to his displeasure. But, he couldn't keep the smile off his face for long.

He opens his bag of chocolate, humming in anticipation as he pulled a chocolate feather from the bag. Chewing it, fully expecting the smooth sweet taste of coconut and chocolate, only to screech and spit the chocolate out. He fanned his mouth, panting as the burning spice stuck to every corner of his mouth. Why was it so spicy!?

Reaching into the bag he snapped another chocolate open, raising an eyebrow in confusion as the inside showed a fluffy white mixture. Snapping yet another chocolate, he sat back in his chair, glaring at the ceiling. Just how many of these chocolates had they filled with this red hot paste instead of the promised coconut?

Honestly…such a troublesome ward he had…

Twisted Snickers. I'm funny please laugh.

I gave and named two dogs for Crewel. They are named after types of fabric because he would honestly...

[actual-changeling]

aziraphale and crowley are responsible for everyone on whickber street being completely up to date on anything trans related because by god, they all remember what happened to the poor sod who made a less than pleasant comment about crowley in aziraphale's vicinity.

crowley very much dresses and presents however they want, and it leads to very fun moments with him joining aziraphale for a coffee in the sluttiest dress in existence just to be greeted with "ah, my lovely husband has finally arrived".

his gender is all over the place and aziraphale doesn't even fully realize that humans are sometimes caught off-guard by it, meanwhile crowley *knows* and he enjoys the panicked stuttering when a poor server at a restaurant is trying to figure out how to address him.

someone once asked aziraphale if he is gay and he said "no but yes", which then led to an awkward moment once crowley arrived who, when hesitantly asked, said his gender is "whatever makes you fuck off immediately"

idk if i was going somewhere with this but give me more queer fuck around and find out ineffable husbands PLEASE

(and bring shoulder length hair crowley back. i need the bun. i miss her every single day)

[mrghostrat]

DID NOT EXPECT MY DUMB TRADIE AU ASK TO BE RECEIVED SO WELL anyway i have more ideas like crowley actually lives out so far in the boonies that its like a 2hr trek to his nearest bunnings but he couldnt find this one goddamn tool anywhere else so he took the L and drove but fuck him bc he's fallen in love with the smiley guy in the straw hat and is now burning petrol to drive up every weekend just to see him

goes insane

[yunarim]

「 ☕️ ⊹ summary 」 : apparently you have a new regular customer in a cafe you work part-time at. though you wonder why that certain someone always glances your way and smiles every time you voice his name when his coffee is ready…

— ⋆ characters : ace, epel, floyd, silver — ⋆ tags : gn reader, fluff, reader is yuu but they work as a barista at a nearby cafe

「 Ace Trappola 」

At first you didn’t want to announce that you’ve managed to escape dependence on your so-called parent (Crowley that would be) who didn't give you pocket money at all. The reason is that well… congrats on having a part-time job so you can spoil your besties with that limited melon buns in the cafeteria!

Yeah, now you have some amount of money but still it’s enough just for you to buy food for yourself and provide Grim with tuna cans so that he doesn’t annoy you much.

And while you were managing to hide this fact you knew you wouldn't last long with your friends. 

“Hey, are you free today?” Ace would ask you often.

“Right, we’re having an unbirthday party, come with us.” Deuce would add.

“Sorry guys, I need extra studying with how often Grim distracts me… Maybe another time.”

Extra studying, my ass, Ace once thought and decided he should check on you in case you’re doing something illegal. You surely weren't but hey, he was genuinely worried for you! (definitely not interested as hell, not that) 

He found you heading to a city centre and entering a fancy-looking cafe which got popular not so long ago. 

He entered too a few minutes after, seeing you adjusting something on the shelves and saying a sweet ‘welcome!’ as you heard someone enter.

Ace got used to you regaining composure whenever you were doing assignments or concentrating on midterm tests but somehow the way your gaze lingered on coffee beans and cute cupcakes was still sharp but more… gentle?

“What would you like to- Oh.”

It wasn’t shocking to see him here. You knew it would happen one day, but today? Not after that hellish history test you’ve managed to survive, not to mention you just had to take a night shift today. 

“Anything our cute secretive prefect would recommend,” he grinned at you rolling your eyes. 

“Alright, just wait a second, I’ll call your name when it’s ready.”

Unfortunately, you were having a lot of customers that day so he couldn’t really chat with you. And if you actually thought he would just check on you and let you work peacefully (or not really), Ace knew the possibility of him turning into a coffee-addict wasn’t so distant anymore.

“Ace, your ice latte is ready.”

At first he counted how many times a week he visited the cafe you worked at and now it was absolutely pointless, given he was completely lost in his thoughts. 

You just had to pronounce his name so cutely, huh?

Yo wait, cutely? For real?

Nah, no way. The way you smiled every time he walked in, raising his voice and calling you by some lame nicknames, always different every day he decided to drop by and have a little chat with you, wasn’t delightful to witness, too. No way.

“Hey, it’s already late. Not that I’m worried about you being scolded by Riddle or something, but it’s just strange seeing you studying in a cafe like a diligent student you aren’t. Let’s go together.”

Shit, he thought, closing his copybook and realizing he had done all the homework he had for two weeks forward. 

Shit, he thought when you closed the cafe and took off your apron.

Somehow you, wearing not the school uniform in which he saw you every day in college, but in casual clothes made him blush a little, realizing something he couldn’t admit at first.

Ace in his dorm room at 3 am: Sevens forgive me for being so shamelessly cringe lovestruck.

Ace today when he orders his ice latte: that's for your boyfriend Ace, please.

You: you’re so dumb I like that in men.

「 Epel Felmier 」

He didn’t know himself how he even managed to sneak out to the city centre without Vil noticing but finally he could eat something that wasn’t plain vegetable salads full of something oh so healthy and nutritious… whatever.

Okay, cool. This sortie into the city was planned during long sleepless nights with Epel exploring a ton of reviews about new cafes that opened nearby recently. 

Good old fast food was something he tried eating already so it was out of his choice for today, moreover he wanted to know what kind of coffee shops metropolises have and what kind of drinks and cupcakes they could offer.

Today was the day, and after taking photos and getting souvenirs for grandma he finally found the cafe he had chosen for today’s observation. 

A warm cozy atmosphere enveloped him, who was tired by the evening, and pleasant relaxing music helped regaining calmness after an eventful day.

“Good evening,” you greeted him and smiled gently. “What would you like to order?”

Maybe he got why this cafe has the best reviews. How could it not when the barista is so cute and friendly? 

He didn’t know how other baristas behave but he was sure they were completely out of your league. Really, why are there no drinks named after your smile? That’s a crime.

“Uh… latte maybe? With a lavender syrup.”

“Latte with a lavender syrup coming right up. Your name please?”

“Epel.”

“Alright, Epel, I’ll call you when it’s ready!” 

Shit, you’re literally shining with a golden glow around you, that’s illegal! 

Once you called him he knew he gotta find a decent reason to sneak out more so that he could see you again.

“Rook, help me, it’s urgent. Take me to the city centre without Vil noticing, I’ll repay you somehow. Wanna some apple juice maybe?”

Good for him Rook knew by one glance his underclassman got lovestrucked heavily and what a great news it was! 

Epel didn’t know (nor didn’t he wanted to) what exactly Rook said to Vil but now he got a strong reason to visit the cafe he met you. 

Okay, so today he definitely must ask for your number or something. 

He was already drowning in dreams of you two talking over the phone, you still working during the night and he hiding under the blanket from Vil and almost whispering to you and discussing little nothings and-

Ah, grandma’s calling. He answered her and explained where he’s heading to.

“Yeah, yeah, that cafe,” he replied, rolling his eyes at her curious tone. “Yes, the one with that cute barista. Yeah, grandma, I’ll ask. Yeah, yeah.”

He entered and met your soft gaze. You waved at him in a friendly way, recognizing him and he almost melted.

“Good morning,” you said quietly, noticing he was talking over the phone, and he nodded, greeting you as well. “Lavender latte as usual?”

“Alright, I’m busy, grandma, call you later,” he tried to hang up the phone but suddenly even you heard her reply.

“Sure sure, don’t forget to ask them out already!” 

Beep beep beep and you and Epel remain completely silent. 

“Aargh this is not what you think, I can explain!-”

“Really? I was planning on asking you out too actually.”

You when Epel called his grandma after your shift was over: discussing when the wedding would be.

Epel: cringing hard but smiling like an idiot, holding your hand and drinking his lavender latte.

「 Floyd Leech 」

Dig around what’s with that new menu our competitors have, Azul said. It would be a good intel, Azul said.

Boring! Why not Jade? He was much better at gathering info anyway. 

But still Jade advised he should look for merits everywhere, so Floyd actually decided to listen to his brother and decided he could at least mess up someone’s business so this trip would be fun.

He entered the cafe Azul told him about and approached a barista, throwing a curious grin at them and giggling.

“Good morning!” You said with a beaming smile and adjusted your name badge. “What can I get for you?”

Bonus points for your sunny smile. Floyd tried to imagine Azul or Jade smiling like that and almost roared with laughter at how silly this thought was. They lack cuteness! Not that they had it in the first place and nor they should have had it, but still it’s interesting seeing someone smiling so genuinely at a stranger!

“Something warm and extremely sweet~” he leaned on the table and observed your features shamelessly, finding it amusing that you still remained so bright and friendly. “It’s so cold outside!”

“Alright! What’s your name?”

“Floyd,” he replied. 

You wanted to get his drink ready but suddenly heard your boss calling for you. You apologized and quickly went to a staff room. Floyd didn’t mind waiting for a little, considering you’ve piqued his interest and not to even mention you were so adorable! So small and lively, it was so refreshing to see someone so vivacious. Bonus points: obtained!

Hmm~ You came back with an irritated frown on your face. Floyd wondered what happened.

“I’m sorry for the delay,” you said and turned to the coffee machine, gathering ingredients and starting making his drink, but just as he was about to chat with you a bit more, you were called once more.

“I’m really sorry,” you apologized once more, quickly retreating to the staff room again.

Your facial expression was so unbelievably funny when you returned. Floyd couldn’t contain his laugh at how fast and professionally you switched between being a little lovely sunshine and furious raging harpy cursing your boss under your breath. 

“Your drink, Floyd. I’m really sorry…”

“No worries~” He took the drink from you and took a sip. My my, you knew exactly what you were doing, your skills were incredible! Bonus points definitely. “See ya tomorrow!”

“Ah? Yes, see you.”

Floyd wondered whether he could add bonus points for your puzzled expression or would it be too much already.

Next day Floyd convinced Azul he needs more time to make a report. And the day after. And the next week too. 

One day you greeted him not with that sweet smile of yours but with a sad sigh and forced laugh and Floyd thought he could beat the shit out of your boss for making you so gloomy.

“Here,” he blinked at how a cup of cappuccino appeared before him. “Take it as a compensation for always hearing me out.”

Jeez, were you serious! So many bonus points just didn’t exist. 

Floyd when he decided to have a little chat with you for a few minutes and your boss shouted again: you know what, work for us. At least Azul doesn’t scream like that. Well, maybe he does sometimes, but he's cute. Not as cute as you though!

Azul when he was supposed to receive a report and eliminate his rival cafe: excuse me?

You being squeezed by Floyd: nice to meet you.

「 Silver 」

When kids are taught that two times two is four Silver realized coffee doesn’t help to remain awake. 

Still, Lilia decided it wouldn’t hurt to try and suggested Silver drink coffee in the mornings, and maybe it was just a self-hypnosis but Silver found himself staying awake for fifteen minutes longer if he had a cup of strong americano in the morning. 

Getting to the city and grabbing a fancy coffee before lessons was his motto, so that almost all baristas knew who he was and just how strong his coffee should be.

You didn’t, though, at least due to the fact that you started working not so long ago.

You saw an extremely handsome boy entering a cafe and was so dumbstruck with how charmingly he looked that you didn’t notice his rather inert movements. 

“Good morning, what would you like to order?” You greeted him, smiling brightly as usual.

“Hm… Something strong. Americano would do.”

“Okay! And your name is?” 

He glanced at you and realized you were someone who he saw for the first time. Usually other baristas are already aware and don’t even ask his name anymore. 

Meanwhile you were trying your best not to scream at how insanely beautiful his eyes were glimmering in dim cafe lights. 

“It’s Silver.”

You gave him his coffee when it was done and he thanked you. After he left you found yourself spacing out, the image of that cute boy popping up in your head randomly, and you thought you were seeing things when he came once more by the evening.

“Good evening, Silver.”

“Oh,” he replied. “You’re quite quick with remembering names, I presume.”

It’s just your name’s so lovely, how could I not, you thought almost voicing it out loud, but you just smiled instead. 

“Americano once more, please.”

This time he didn’t go straight away but sat near the window and opened his textbooks. You assumed he was doing his homework and concentrated on serving other customers. 

It was already late when you spotted Silver sleeping at the table, textbook pages wrinkled under his cheeks, and you approached him. He felt your gentle touch on his shoulder and slowly opened his eyes, meeting with your tender gaze full of worry.

Were you concerned about him falling asleep here? Maybe you really were but why then was he so happy to see such genuine worry in someone’s eyes which were so incredibly pretty, by the way… What was he even thinking?..

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you closing up?”

“Don’t be,” you sighed, giving him a cup of what he thought would be coffee but the green tea flavor was too strong to mistake it for coffee. “I think you should drink herbal tea instead of coffee actually. Here, on the house.”

Silver thought if heart eyes were real, you could see them right now just with one look at him. 

Lilia almost freaked out seeing Silver drinking sea buckthorn tea the next morning and chatting with someone over the phone.

Lilia: wrong sticker, use this instead.

Sticker: two kissing kittens.

Silver: dad what the-

Lilia: they replied~

You: omg you know how to use stickers i’m delighted 🫶🫶🫶🫶💗💗💗

© yushiiae 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

[vavoomed-for-crowley]

Good Omens Crowley Cosplay

Update

The past couple of weeks, I've been brave enough to show the progress of my Crowley Cosplay on this platform. Which was a big step for me because I like my small anonymous bubble. But never before have I put this much work into a costume.

It started with sewing the clothes because they didn't fit, hand-painting the wig layer by layer and ended up with 3 months of work on the wings and almost 400 single feathers put together.

If you want to take a look at the progress, here's the link

Anyway. It's time I share the final result with you all. And on top, there's a video of the first contest I took part in with the costume as well.

1) The Final Look

Photo 1 by KyuriShots on Instagram

Photo 2 by a friend of mine

2) Aziracrow

Photo once again by KyuriShots on Instagram. A friend of mine did a female version of Aziraphale. It's the first time I did a partner-cosplay with someone else than my best friend.

3) The Costume Content

Oh dear gawd. The costume contest. This one sent me over the edge.

Yes, it was a costume contest only, not a real cosplay contest. Which meant that any kind of costume was welcome. And a lot of things went wrong that day and I was devastated afterwards. Not going to write down what led to this but let me tell you, things that went wrong that could've been avoided were:

- I forgot to pack the right pair of pants and had to wear another pair that was a bit too loose

- I usually pack two wigs, just in case. I forgot to pack the short wig and had to do the man-bun version

- I forgot to pack the sponge with which I do the beard stubbles, so I had to get really creative

I was also really nervous to go on stage and thought about downing that bottle of wine more than once and if I wouldn't have had to drive that evening, I definitely would have.

Anyway, almost two weeks later I feel ready to share the result with you.

What I really am proud of is that many people told me they couldn't tell that I was nervous at all and that I did "such a good Crowley performance".

After all, this contest was a lesson and I definitely will attend more.