#most of these have no ship material whatsoever

[local-salt-raiders-fan]

Salt Raiders pairing names because I refuse to sleep

Ranging from those that already exist to those that don’t exist, have fun with this

Staif (stan/kaif, probably the most well-known one that doesn’t have both parties involved in any other way than friends)

Kaebbz (kaif/ebbz)

Stily (stan/lily, i forgot who came up with this)

DazStan (stan/daz)

LilDaz (lily/daz)

BroulderBeans (glen/sam, funny story, i unironically had brainrot involving this pairing for a good few weeks last year)

BroulderCat123 (sam/stan, my roommate came up with this)

Dazstily (daz/stan/lily)

Kaebbzcat (kaif/ebbz/stan)

Feel free to add more lol

[buggyandthebartoclub]

Date Night Headcannons featuring Law, Penguin, Shachi, and Barto with NSFT included for the lovely Heart Pirate Homie Hoppers @guilty-sugar and @mandiemegatron <3 (plus Barto... you know... as a personal treat..)

NSFT Content warnings: No gendered language for reader of any kind used, Pengun's mention of/implied oral sex, Shachi's contains mentions of sex while mutually intoxicated (alcoholic ice cream), and implied unprotected sex/finishing inside, Barto's includes mentions of implied oral sex and biting A/N: This can be read as canon or modern au - some activities listed as possible date ideas are modern things but can easily be substituted for canon verse activities if you want Heed the warnings stated, this is an 18+ self ship blog, all posts subject to possible 18+ material - this post does contain NSFT content

Law

He does have the date planned out but he wont tell you that whatsoever, and when he asks you out it almost sounds like a threat but you can tell by the way Law is only looking at you from the side of his eye while scowling with a deep blush dusted across his cheeks that he's genuinely interested in a date night together, further confirmed by the smirk that spread across his face when you accepted

Is cleaned up and dressed nicely in all his usual clothes but new shirt in a darker black than he already owned and some additonal jewelry (a chain and two rings), and his usual boots that he spent the night before polishing while arguing with the boys about whether or not he should wear a flashier shirt to your date

He will open doors for you and pay for the bill but don't expect him to pull out any chairs for you or go giving you his jacket because you're cold. He would just stare at you deadpan and tell your ass no. Should've planned for the weather better

Takes you somewhere like a little hole in the wall bookstore or antique shop where y'all could look around and maybe snag a few things (books if at the bookstore, and coins for him and whatever catches your eye at the antique shop if you go there), pays for your things but only if they're reasonably priced and WILL shame you if you pick out anything too expensive or what he deems stupid. As long as it's not overpriced he'll still buy it for you even if it is stupid though

Spends most of the date listening to you talk and asking pointed questions to keep furthering the conversation without adding much until you get onto a topic he actually has a pointed interest or knowledge in, though he does actually love listening to you talk about your interests (as long as you aren't getting repetitive or into asinine details... he can show some irritation on his face creep out in those moments. You only get to repeat yourself one or two times before he bluntly calls you out on it unless you've been together awhile then he just sighs deeply and does a little circle in the air with his finger to signal you to sort it out and hurry it up)

Absolutely will tune out and ignore you for a whole hour on your date, absorbed in his book while y'all just coexist peacefully if you went to the bookstore, or will enthusiastically tell you all about the coins he found if you went to the antique shop. In the case of the coins, he tries to act childish and calm at first but his passion and neediness will overpower that as he rambles endlessly to you about his coins, completely steamrolling over any questions or comments you have until he's done talking

Fully expects a goodnight kiss and is pleased as a peach when he gets one. Sinking into your lips and letting his hands slide onto your hips, he's got you melting into his chest in moments

Is an absolute tease in bed, loves edging you and running his hands all over your body, sliding his nails lightly down your side to watch you squirm at the sensation, licking and nipping at your skin and blowing on the damp spots his makes, relishing in the noises he draws out of you

He'll do foreplay for hours, until he gets bored or his hands start to cramp whichever comes first

Then he gets absolutely sex drunk, unable to do anything other than shut his eyes and let his head fall against you, fingers digging into your hips as he loses himself to the sensation of your body around his, taking almost no time at all to finish, he uses a condom but h'll still pull out and pull it off at the end just so he can come all over you

He will do some aftercare and its adequate, dogshit at any sweet-talking after, the deed is done its time to clean up and get ready for bed, though he complains about snuggling, he does automatically go to snuggle with you when y'all curl up under the covers together, but he quickly stops talking and closes his eyes and tells you to shut up and go to sleep if you ask him if he wants to stop snuggling

Will just leave in the morning unless you tell him before hand you want to do breakfast, though he will make you some coffee and make sure to leave a note if you don't do breakfast. Otherwise he will absolutely make you a small and reasonable breakfast he makes you come to the table for and will even eat with you before he leaves

Penguin

Total sweetheart who has the whole date planned out in his head before he asks you out but completely changes to something different once you accept the date because he thinks everything he came up with was not good enough for you

Dresses to the nines, and he definitely makes sure to dress in an extra layer so he can offer you a jacket if you get cold (don't expect his hat though unless you've been together a long while, in which case, he usually has his old hat with the puffball on it stuffed in the jacket pocket for you just in case)

Complete and total gentleman, by far the most considerate of the Heart Pirates listed. That means doors are opened for you, chairs pulled out, he's not even going to let you think about paying. it has nothing to do with how he sees you and all because he wants you too see him as capable and dependable, someone who cherishes the relationship you have together and always will

He would definitely be brushing his hand against yours, distinctly looking anywhere BUT your hands, until you finally hold his hand and he'll look your way with the dopiest smile and bright flush to his cheeks, pulling you closer to him as your fingers tangle together

No matter how well he plans though he always forgets something, whether it's simply the music to the star lit picnic, or something big like tickets to the actual even y'all had planned to go to (thankfully usually just small things! The big ones are a rare occasion, and always beats himself up more than you could ever even think of hinting at towards him and he always makes it up to you even if you insist it was nothing to worry about!)

Cheek kisses are all he ever lets himself hope for in the beginning and absolutely falls over the first time you sneak a quick peck to the lips instead, and absolutely melts into your whole touch when you let him have more of you

His insecurities come to light when y'all are intimate, not that it dulls his enthusiasm or technique, but you can deftly tell he's always a little nervous, always a little worried in the back of his mind if you're really enjoying your time with him or if he's what you really want, because he surely doesn't deserve this here with you right now, but a few well placed kisses and sweet affirmations whispered in his ear and he's completely fine for the session, worried abandoned until next time

LOVES giving/pleasing you in any way, especially with his hands and/or mouth, he's fantastic at foreplay and oral. Enjoys receiving but is insecure about how he looks and sounds the whole time so he tends to avoid it and go straight into pleasuring you.

Does great aftercare and will snuggle you all night long, he doesn't care what part of his body goes numb from you sleeping on it, he just wants you there as close as possible.... until he eventually does have to adjust, but he will still be big spoon if you let him readjust so his arm wont go numb)

Absolutely brings you breakfast in bed from a cafe or bakery nearby and will have even gotten a few extra goodies he hides in the bag for you to have as a treat to yourself later after he has to leave for work

Shachi

Has plans but they’re not meticulously thought out, there’s wiggle room for change of plans if y’all decide to switch it up and go w the flow for the evening or leaves room for y’all to head home and duck out for a night at home if you find yourself overstimulated or not up for being out

His plans? Pizza and laser tag followed by a trip to the alcoholic ice cream store before heading home together

He tries to look nice but casual, by that he means he put on clean cargo pants and shoes and metal band tee with NO puns on it (despite what he really wanted, he took half of penguins advice when he was told quotes and puns on a shirt for a date was a no go), a jacket w a fur trim on the hood (think loke’s jacket from fairytail) 2 band bracelets, and a couple of rings, and he even got law to paint his nails black (if only bc law didn’t want black nail polish all over the fucking floor if they did it themselves), plus his hat and sunglasses 😎 of course.

He will give you his jacket if you get cold, but reluctantly and expect him to complain about being cold, he would much rather you just snuggle up in the jacket with him than hand it over

Is respectful by all means but definitely is not as overt in his gentlemanly ways as Penguin is, despite Penguin's best efforts to instill in him this is a DATE and he should act like it, Shachi can't help but treat you like he always does, the bestest friend ever that he's totally in love with and comfortable with (and super horny for, he finds that important to add, to himself silently in his head of course lol)

Pays for everything but isn't offended if you pay, in fact it really flatters him and makes him give you the "AWHHHH Babes!! You didn't have to do that!"

Does absolutely take laser tag way too seriously and goes for blood in the laser tag room. Thankfully yall did a few rounds w a group so it didn’t start directed at you. But it does quickly turn into an almost all out bully session after a few rounds when the groups disperse and you do a few rounds just y'all

He wasn’t mean by any means but he definitely had sooooo much fun at your expense he’s in tears clutching his stomach by the end and you’re trying to keep up your pout, trying not to crack in laughter at the ridiculous sight of him rolling along the floor like an idiot

He DOES apologize after though and holds your hand as your get boozy ice cream and is really sweet letting you get anything you want and giving you puppy dog eyes to let him pretty please try a bite of yours he’ll share his (he just wants the attention and to share bites of y'alls spoons together the SAP)

Literally can not stop complimenting you and especially after the boozy icecream he is one sweet word after another… along with sweet warm touches as he giggles and begs you to come back to his room with him, whimpering and whining the whole way back about all the things you do to him how it isn’t fair how riled up you get him

Seriously he can not shut up, you have to start making out with him when you get back to the room just to get him to stop and even then he’s moaning groaning whimpering and whining, he’s absolutely sooooo noisy and it’s even worse when he’s tipsy or drunk

Will be biting you all over and licking and kissing each spot tenderly after to make up for it but you’re gonna have some marks on your neck and inner thighs, your lips even a little red and tender

Dont worry he will ENTHUSIASTICALLY try to make up for his roughness and you’ll love every minute of it

Drunk Shachi will beg and plead the WHOLE time cum inside you, acts like he’s in literal bliss while he’s fucking you, talking about how perfect you feel, how you make his brain mush and we’ll you take his cock while begging and pleading to cum inside just this once please there’s no WAY he can finish anywhere else and be satisfied

He will viciously snuggle you after and throw an absolute FIT if you try and disentangle from the whiny little furnace he is so be prepared to quickly clean up w a shirt that’s tossed aside and pulling up just the sheet bc that man is already attaching himself like an octopus and he is OUT

WILL give you rubs and sweet kisses and take you out for breakfast in the morning if you wake up sweaty sore and grumpy tho and give you his softest clothes to wear out since it was your shirt you fuckin grabbed to clean up w the night before

Barto

Has plans and they are meticulously thought out long before he has the courage to ask you out

His admiration of Luffy evident even his dating life as he makes plans inspired by Luffys interests and adventures, looking to recreate excitement his idol has enjoyed for his next favorite person, you! He totally plans to take you out on a treasure hunt for the best food, fight, or fun such as the new arcade he found last week right before he finally asked you out

However, he is totally willing to scrap any and all plans if you're not up for something so thrilling or adrenaline pumping, and won't even be disappointed about it, he just wants to impress you (almost as much as he wants to impress Luffy)

He even takes a bath and cleans his clothes/piercings, brushes his teeth etc before your date on his own accord (after a possible hint that being clean might bolster any physical intimacy chances), what a good boy! Even puts on some brand new nipple rings for your viewing pleasure!

Absolutely will give you his jacket if you get cold, hell he'll tell you to keep it! It looks so much better on you anyway! Although that does leave him shirtless shivering in the cold but he absolutely will not complain about it if that happens

Brings you weed flowers and you love them because there's lots of pokey green thorns and they remind you of his mohawk and he blushes and stutters when you tell him so and thank him with a kiss to the cheek

Absolutely gets excited and starts babbling at lots of points during your date, often bringing up Luffy, but also surprisingly manages to bring it back around to y'all and tie in his babbling so at least the conversation is somewhat participateable, not that you mind, his hilariously sweet devotion to Luffy is one of the many things that endeared you to him in the first place

Frequently gives you extravagant over the top compliments throughout your date, even going as far as to say "Next time we see Mistah Luffy I'm totally taking you with me, show you off like a prized treasure I found! Ha! He'll be so impressed by my impeccable taste in partners, he'll be 'Woah Barto! Where'd you find this gem at?' He'll totally dig your vibe! You're like the coolest person in the world, outside of the Straw Hat crew, of course!"

Is extremely protective of you, even though he knows you can take care of yourself he definitely goes a little guard dog, barking and growling- I mean, cussing out anyone he thinks is looking at you wrong and definitely punches someone if he hears any insults about his beloved treasure

After the date is over and he's nervously taken you back to your room wherever it may be, letting nerves turn him into a blushing and stuttering mess, trying to find a way to ask for kiss (I mean, he was SUCH a good boy the whole date! AND he bathed! He can definitely ask for a goodnight kiss right? You had a lot of fun you even kept smiling and blushing at him he's SURE that means its okay to ask for a kiss...), but you take the breath out of his lungs when you stand on your tiptoes to give him a kiss and fry his brain completely

Don't worry though he recovers after a minute and he's all over you in the best of ways, he's all tongue and teeth and searing heat, kissing you with as much passion as he shows for beloved Straw Hats, and really showing you what that long tongue can do

He's completely lost in you, your hands in his hair and his teeth on your neck when you tell him what a good boy he is and there's no stopping him now and after the filthiest groan you've ever heard and a buck of his hips he'll tell you directly, you're not leaving that room anytime soon, and certainly not walking on your own two legs if he has anything to say about it

Comes all over you and will absolutely lick it all up after and then just grabs something to clean you up with off the floor and tosses it to you before grabbing something to clean himself off too before yanking the blankets up and pulling you onto his chest and passes out like a drop of a hat. He adores you but you have to explain to him in the morning if you want your aftercare to look any different (though he will enthusiastically do any changes you ask for)

Enthusiastically makes you the worst breakfast in bed ever, the man can absolutely not cook but he does take you out after to make up for his shit cooking skills (and the disaster int he kitchen don't look at it its fine)

[ominus-potato]

I'm sorry if I sound a bit ignorant/oblivious/rude but what caused the Mr. Puzzles X Mario ship? I see it everywhere and the art is adorable but I don't know what started it? Was it a specific scene? Some dialogue I missed? Or is it a crack ship?

(once again I'm sorry if any of this sounds rude whatsoever, I'm bad at wording things)

Not rude at all dude! Thanks for asking!

For me (and for most people in assuming) ig Marware started as a crackship since it’s really funny to imagine the big bad Mr Puzzles ended up swooning for the dumbass Italian that is Mario.

It’s also playing on the dynamic of smart logical character x the biggest idiot you can imagine. They are complete polar opposites in terms of design, personality, body type, height, brains, EVERYTHING!! They are complete opposites of one another. So ofc they gotta be shipper. Also, it’s great potential for funny moments and I just love making funny comics!

In terms of actual scenes, there is this scene from “no tv makes Mario go coo coo crazy” where he gives CPR to Mr Puzzles and clings to his face, calling him “Mi Amour” which translates to “My Love”. Mario even is willing to kill his own brother so that Mr Puzzles comes back to life. Ofc, Mario was being dramatic and didn’t actually KNOW it was a live person he was saying that to but it’s worth noting.

In terms of actual shipping material, I like to imagine that whilst Mario spend hours and hours watching TV (Mr Puzzles) alone, Puzzles eventually grew to appreciate his time with the Italian. He was the only person who truly loved all of his shows no matter how stupid they were. Mario is too dumb to form an opinion on a TV show so to him, all of Puzzlevision was worth 5 stars. In fanon, I think that would have meant a lot to Mr Puzzles and he would have then developed feelings for Mario that way.

Of course, he would get infuriated by Mario at times, especially when he was messing with his ratings. But despite constantly screwing up his 5 stars, Mr Puzzles kept putting Mario as a lead role in every single one of his productions. I dunno about you but Mr Puzzles to me seems smart enough to know that if a character is screwing up his ratings, he shouldn’t recast him. Yet he did. Every single time.

Let’s not forget that Mario absolutely loves TV. He doesn’t care about how evil the TV is. When he was chasing down Mr Puzzles, it was purely because he wanted to watch more TV. He wasn’t trying to save his friends in the beginning because he didn’t even realise they were in danger. And once everyone was safe, the very first thing Mario did was go and watch TV.

Since Mario can be such a nuisance, I love to imagine their interactions just being Mario bothering Mr Puzzles and him being unable to say no to him because deep down he knows he loves him. It’s playing into Mr Puzzles being such a pathetic villain that even the dumbest meme we of the crew can handle him easily.

He’s just an evil genius who loves his dumbass Mario 🥰

Anyway yeah! That’s more or less everything. It’s mostly a crackship but to me, I genuinely love it and it may possibly be my favourite SMG4 ship. Thank you for reading!! Take these Marware screenshots on your way out.

[lostyesterday]

As a visually disabled person myself, one thing I wish TNG had done with Geordi is show his disability actually affecting how he functions in his daily life. For example, I can’t remember a single time in TNG where Geordi is shown as needing accommodations in his work environment. You might say that’s because his visor means that he can basically “see” normally and so he wouldn’t need accommodations, but I find this explanation frustrating.

For one thing, real life visually disabled people absolutely require accommodations to do most jobs, so if Geordi’s meant to be any kind of accurate reflection of the experiences of blind people, he should require some accommodations. For me at least, it isn’t some kind of wish fulfillment fantasy to see a visually disabled character who can do anything a sighted person can with no accommodations whatsoever. Instead, it feels like a denial of everything that being disabled has meant to me over my life. Disabled people are disabled. We have more difficulty doing certain tasks than an able-bodied person would – that’s what makes us disabled. We require changes to our environment in order to function well.

Also, literally just based on the in-universe information given about Geordi’s visor, it doesn’t make any sense to me that he wouldn’t require accommodations. Geordi’s visor is not really described as simulating vision, it is described as providing completely different sensory information about the physical properties of the world around him. I like to imagine the visor’s input as a kind of enhanced spatial awareness with a precise knowledge of where certain objects are, what their shape is, and what they’re made of. As TNG mentions several times, Geordi’s visor provides much more information than human eyes do, but, importantly, in the few episodes where the details of how Geordi’s visor works are discussed at all, it’s never described as providing purely visual information such as the color or reflectiveness of an object. I think that if Geordi faces a mirror, his visor will tell him there’s a piece of glass in front of him and he’ll know about how large it is and what material it’s made of, but he won’t be able to see his reflection in it, because the visor doesn’t provide that kind of visual information. This distinction is important to me, because it means that Geordi is still functionally blind with the visor, and it should mean that he interacts with the world differently from a sighted person.

For example, I would have loved if Geordi had been shown to be unable to recognize particular people until they spoke. All his visor tells him is that there’s a person in front of him and about what size and shape they are, but this isn’t generally enough information to determine a person’s identity. He canonically perceives Data as looking very different from an organic person which makes sense because Data is made of fully different material. And maybe Geordi can generally tell different species apart based on different body temperatures or something like that. But I really wish that Geordi had been shown at least a few times to need the sound of a person’s voice or some other cue to tell him who they were.

I also think it doesn’t make sense that Geordi can apparently read text on computer screens. How can he read if the visor doesn’t really provide visual information? A computer screen should just register as a flat piece of material. Geordi should have required some kind of accommodation to be able to use the computer screens. For example, maybe Geordi could use the computer entirely through voice commands, something that obviously already exists in the star trek world. Or he could use some kind of tactile display. The Voyager episode The Year of Hell shows that computer terminals on starships are able to utilize a tactile display that I’m guessing is somewhat similar to braille. I loved this mention in Voyager of tactile displays, because it indicates that Starfleet ships are probably automatically equipped with such accessibility devices. Geordi needing an accommodation as small as this would have gone really far in terms of making him feel like a genuine representation of a disabled character, at least to me.

[thewertsearch]

GG: aaaaa please dont tell anyone i told you about him! […] CA: settle dowwn jade youre radically underestimatin the amount of shit i dont givve about this […] CA: i got bigger ships to sink and soon wwhen im good and ready me and my luminous fuckin science stick havve got a date wwith jack noir

Seems like Eridan's planning to join Vriska.

Correction - he's planning to rejoin Vriska.

If he's trying to restart their kismesissitude, he's going to be sorely disappointed. Vriska is out of his league, and not just as a romantic partner. She's a god, and he's an angry kid with a wand who represents no threat whatsoever to Noir.

CA: wwhys this matter so hush hush anywway GG: he didnt want me to tell my friends who he really was […] GG: he was so nice, and it really did feel like i was talking to family, so i really dont think he was making it up

I think your intuition is correct, but that doesn't mean he's specifically your grandson. After all, 'family' is a term which can encompass all sorts of relationships.

GG: i couldnt help but try to imagine his parents… GG: and more interestingly……. GG: his grandfather :O

Even if he is your grandson, that doesn't necessarily mean he has a grandfather. As far as I can tell, there's no reason why the Veil's DNA-mixing machine couldn't merge the genes of two women.

For all we know, Pen-Pal could have four biological grandmothers!

CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be GG: do you even have those? if you dont have parents how could you? CA: no wwe dont knoww our direct forebears and im pretty sure any attempt to seek out or evven inquire about the supplier of your genes wwould be a fine wway to get yourself killed

I didn't think a troll's genes had an individual supplier.

Based on the fact that their genetic material is combined in the Mother Grub, I've been assuming that each troll is created from a large number of 'parents', whose DNA is mixed in the Mother's stomach.

Obviously, our Sgrub trolls are going to be an exception to this rule, since the game presumably cloned them from twelve Guardians - but Eridan seems to be implying that all trolls have an individual parent.

This doesn't align at all with what we know about troll reproduction. There also seems to be a certain amount of secrecy surrounding this process, since Eridan thinks you'd be killed for looking into it. Is there some sort of conspiracy at play?

CA: but wwevve got our lore and it says wwe all got indivvidual ancestors wwho contribute to most of our genes abovve and beyond wwhat the grubs slurry does

Alright, that makes a little more sense. So trolls are derived from a large mixture of DNA, but they have one true 'parent' who contributes the lion's share of genetic data.

Maybe an embryonic troll starts off as a clone of this parent, and other trolls' genes are slowly spliced into it as it develops.

Again, for the Sgrub trolls, things are a little different. We have reason to believe they were cloned in sets of three, implying that each of them has three genetic donors. Perhaps, then, they each inherited the majority of their DNA from one of these trolls - their 'ancestor' - and only share a small number of genes with the other two.

These ancestors have been mentioned before - quite a while ago, now - and I think they may be the key to solving a major mystery of the Hivebent arc.

Namely, Aradia mentioned her ancestors, and seemed to believe she was following their orders. When Scratch's plans started to reveal themselves, I assumed that he was the one directing Aradia, and was only pretending to be these unseen forebears.

With this new revelation, however, I'm forced to reconsider my stance. What if the Voices were those of the ancestors?

What if Aradia was being instructed by the troll Guardians all along?

[mask131]

Other Odysseys: Ulysses 31

It seems so strange for me that many people do not know Ulysses 31, because back in France it is one of the most famous and defining productions of the 80s in terms of kid entertainment. It was one of the big nerdy things of the time, and a large influence on French sci-fi.

Ulysses 31 (French title, Ulysse 31 ; Japanese title, Uchu Densetsu Yurishizu Satiwan) is one of the most renowned results of this specific mediatic era in the 80s which saw recurring collaborations between France and Japan. This series is, as a result, both an European cartoon and a Japanese anime. It first aired during the 1981-1982 season, but it kept having regular re-airings all the way into the 2000s. It is a set of 26 episodes, each 26 minutes long (though the original airing was... very strange. If anyone is interested I'll share about it :p)

And what's the plot? Well if you couldn't guess by the title... It's THE ODYSSEY IN SPACE of course!

Science-fiction was the big obsession of both French and Japanese in the 80s, so of course they would settle to move the Odyssey n space. Remember: it was the post-Star Wars boom, the "after Kubrick's 2001" time, the era of "Captain Future", "Albator 78", "Cobra Space Adventure". We still have Odysseus trying to return home, encountering monsters and being persecuted by the gods... But we are in the 31st century, Odysseus' ship is a space-ship equiped with a helpful artificial-intelligence-computer, Troy is a space station, Odysseus tries to return to planet Earth rather than Ithaqua, and his journey takes him through space and different planets instead of islands of the sea.

Another quite major change: Telemachus is with Odysseus! Yep. Indeed, you see, Odysseus still has his entire crew... But they were placed into a suspended animation by the gods as part of Odysseus' curse. This was actually a way to limit the protagonists of the story, as there are only four people awake and sentient on the ship. Odysseus, his son Telemachus who accompanies him, Themis (who is an alien little girl Odysseus rescued from this version of the Cyclop, no relationship to the Titaness whatsoever), and Nonno. Nonno who is... he is supposed to be the sort of goofy, joking robot sidekick - you know the type of character, this typical chibified little mascot you find in every anime of the era, and that people either love or despise with all their guts.

Together, the four of them (who basically have a sort of family dynamic of a father, his two kids, and the pet) have to find back their way to Earth while escaping the many perils and dangers the gods throw before them... Because here's the fascinating thing in this take on the Odyssey: the gods are actual gods. They're not hyper-advanced aliens, they're not omniscient artificial intelligence, they are actual deities who just happen to rule over the entire universe instead of one planet. Or rather the entire "multiverse"...

Here is the starting plot of the series, the core of the first episode and what is recapped at the beginning of each ulterior story - and it gives you an insight at how this cartoon handles the original material.

The episode begins with Odysseus and Telemachus leaving the Troy space-station where they stayed for several years, to return home to Earth. However, during their travel, they get captured by the inhabitants of a strange and dangerous planet: a group of fanatical one-eyed monks. These people are actually a cult who worship a creation of the god Poseidon: a gigantic robot, the "Cyclop", which provides sight and energy to the fanatical monks... in exchange of child sacrifices. Odysseus rescues his son Telemachus, as well as two alien kids (one of them being Themis, the other her older brother Numaios), and destroys the Cyclop-robot before leaving the planet.

Unfortunately for him, the monks called upon Poseidon, who in turn called upon Zeus - and Zeus appears in front of Odysseus' ship. Zeus punishes Odysseus for destroying a sacred creation of the gods - and not only does he places Odysseus' entire crew (plus Themis' older brother) in a state of suspended animation, a sort of floating coma, but he also erases the road back to Earth from the space-ship's main computer... And then transports Odysseus' ship to Olympus.

Sounds cool? No. Olympus is here an alternate dimension filled with physical abnormalities and scientific horrors and other alien terrors. It is where the gods and their servants dwell, but it is also where they send all those they seek to punish or torment... And by Zeus' own words, Odysseus is now doomed to find his way back to Earth - which he can only do by reaching the outmost limits of the dimension of Olympus, the "realm of Hades", where a gate to his homeworld awaits him...

Quite a story, huh?

The anime actually takes a course typical of Odyssey cartoons: it adapts the key parts of the Odyssey (Circe, Charybdis and Scylla, Aeolus, the Cyclop, the Laestrygons, etc), but also throws in other elements from Greek mythology to pad things up (Odysseus encounters the sphinx, the minotaur, Nereus, and more), and also adds entirely new episodes which have absolutely nothing to do with Greek mythology whatsoever (and usually you can feel how different they are due to relying on anime tropes and random fantasy or sci-fi stories rather than, you know, Greek legend and Antique aesthetic - you even have a friggin' space adaptation of Count Zaroff!).

If you are familiar with the specific brand of science-fiction carried by things like Doctor Who, you'll find yourself upon a comfortable ground, a world where gods and witches coexist with alien plants, impossible planets, clones and hyper-advanced robots ; a world where Poseidon sends shark-humanoids in trident-shaped spaceships after Odysseus. However, the defining trait of this anime, and what a lot of people might enjoy with this loose adaptation: it is full on cosmic horror.

Already we are talking of Greek monsters transposed as aliens, robots and space abnormalities ; and of Odysseus' endless journey through hostile seas being turned into a desperate search for his home-planet throughout the empty darkness of an alternate dimension. Add to that how Olympus is a prison-dimension containing many people who are victim of the gods' unfairness or cruelty - even though they, themselves, turned towards evil measures or committed terrible deeds as a result of what the gods had them go through... The result is eepisodes that are either terrifying, or very much depressing (especially episodes like the Sisyphus or Circe ones, where these already ambiguous figures are even more morally ambiguous, pitiful in their fall and noble in their evil, antagonists Odysseus must battle but that he comes to admire and respect in their own ways). It's still kid-friendly though, so Odysseus always vanquishes the villain of the day, and his kids are never truly harmed, and the protagonists always escape by the end... But by gosh is everybody who is not a protagonist can have the worst and most miserable endings ever.

But then, you have to add the gods. They're the best part of the show - as in, the most horrifying. Remember when I said I don't mind pure villainization of the Greek gods as long as it is made in a way that makes sense and is aware of the original material? It's one of these cases.

In Ulysses 31's universe, there are no good gods. Athena is utterly absent, Hermes does appear but he doesn't give two shits about Odysseus as he was sent for another mission (dealing with Circe, which just happens to coincidentaly help Odysseus and even then in a way that deeply displeases Odysseus), and the closest thing we get to a benevolent entity is Hades - but that's just because he is a purely and entirely neutral force who is still massively terrifying. It tells you something that in this story, Zeus is turned into the main persecutor of Odysseus and teams up with Poseidon to cause the most terrible things to him (in fact, Zeus and Poseidon are so close they are basically almost one same entity). Even Aeolus is turned into an evil lord out of Dune who hosts for his guests deadly games using human beings as pawns.

But what is really frightening and cool in terms of design choices are how the big gods appear. The big three, Zeus, Poseidon and Hades. The "minor" gods like Aeolus or others are depicted as just mutated and/or supernatural humanoids, as physical entities - but the "big" gods? They are... gigantic, empty-eyed Ancient Greek statues, half-translucid, floating into space, appearing and disappearing out of the shadows between the stars, with their voice booming through the silence of space and reaching people's ears against all physical laws. This, while being followed by some creepy synth music that traumatized an entire generation of kids. For those who were scared by the Southern Oracle scene from the Neverending Story, you'll get what I mean when I say enormous talking statues can be very disturbing.

In fact, in many ways "Ulysses 31" might be one of the darkest takes on the Odyssey and on Greek mythology I ever saw, which ultimately leaves you with a strange bittersweet taste in your mouth. Again, typical of a Doctor Who-like show: a cosmic horror story that ends happily, a space-travel tale where the heroes defeat the bad guys but with abominable implications for the kind of world they live in as a whole, and a story which despite being fun and goofy at time, is still a story where many people died or suffered dreadfully on the way. .

... You know, just your random kids classic that aired on children's channels on Sunday mornings X) Even some of the goofist, most ridiculous or childish episodes (like the one of the witch at the vacation camp for aliens - you'll know what I mean) always have at least one frightening scene or shot worth of a horror movie.

[tamelee]

First of all, hi, how have you been? :)

So there is this Sasusaku account on Twitter who loves to use novels to defend their ship. I know, nothing new.

But this person recently made a thread to debunk the idea that novels are not canon, and their thesis was that every work published by Shueisha is canon because they have ownership of Naruto; therefore, saying the novels are not canon is the same as saying the Naruto manga isn't canon either (according to them).

I know you have talked about this before, so I apologize if this ask comes off as repetitive and/or annoying, but I was just interested in knowing your opinion since you know more about these topics, so feel free to ignore this ask if you want to!

Have a nice day ^^

Hi! Doing alright thank you ^^! 

“every work published by Shueisha is canon because they have ownership of Naruto; therefore, saying the novels are not canon is the same as saying the Naruto manga isn't canon either”

Oh yes, of course. 

Which means that aside from the novels that retcon the original, the… 

Random, OOC storylines in games 

Third-party interpretations, subjectively written data-books or fan-books

Merch, promotional art and other marketing material 

Filler episodes/Movies

Dash generation Manga or whatever 

Sasuke- and Lee’s chibi-adventures Manga

etc—

...are also all canon.

[click to enlarge]

Because "Shueisha published it".

Please make it make sense.

“But this person recently made a thread to debunk the idea that novels are not canon, and their thesis was that every work published by Shueisha is canon because they have ownership of Naruto; therefore, saying the novels are not canon is the same as saying the Naruto manga isn't canon either ”

No.

This is an incredibly flawed argument, because it’s already a non-negotiable fact that the Naruto Manga is canon. It just is. No question about it whatsoever.  

CANON=

The Naruto Manga is the authoritative framework that is the source material. This holds things like the rules, core elements of the story like: characters, themes, messages, the author’s intent etc- And fundamental canon holds the most significance of all within a franchise and provides consistency to the fictional universe in case publishing companies decide to expand on it.. 

By nature its intent is to reflect the original author’s vision; the Naruto Manga = Kishimoto’s vision. 

And everything that doesn’t align with it is simply not canon. 

Therefore the only thing left to argue about is whether legal “ownership” by itself can determine whether something is canon or not. But that isn’t how you measure it alone because it ignores actual canon. I mean yeah, who would’ve thought you’d have to look at canon in order to determine whether something is canon??? 🤯 Wild, huh?

So no: you can’t and that’s not how it works.  

Everything Shueisha decides or publishes through their distributors is official. 

It is official because they are copyright-holders and own the intellectual property (IP) at large which has many different aspects to it. They do own most of them in order to manage it all.

But not everything that is official is canon.

These are two entirely different things.

In fact, the only thing they themselves consider to truly be part of the ‘official’ timeline (which would establish ‘canon’ if it wasn’t such a retcon either) on the official site is Brt. It’s technically canon because chapter 700 exists, though it still makes no sense as it doesn’t stack up against the other 699 chapters and it still means nothing in terms of actual storytelling. Alas:

And even if they did claim ‘canon’, it’s only as significant as the source makes it out to be. Not the amount of profit they can make because they are legally allowed to exploit the work as much as possible through distributions, adaptations, translations, trademarks at JPO and handing out licenses left and right to third-party organizations (‘Namco Bandai’ for example) which then get their own rights or having entire licensing devisions handle individual IP regarding characters (yes your little blorbo is intellectual property) who manage it in terms of advertisements, marketing/promotion and merchandising (think about these pop-up shops), like: ShoPro

*Shueisha used to be owned by Shogakukan if I’m not mistaken and then separated at some point

It’s a business. And an insanely large one at that. They own so much more than you’d think, it’s a HUGE company (2nd largest publisher in Japan I believe) that doesn’t only own multiple magazines like Shonen Jump and its Manga, they also published the ‘weekly playboy’ and publishes things like many (light/erotic/graphic) novels and nsfw picture-books/manga etc. They will do anything as a business to make sure to profit commercially as is legally permitted within the established contract that varies per published IP and which they’re incredibly tight-lipped about. 

In the case of Naruto’s franchise, information that came after the Manga constantly contradicts not just actual canon, but also each other. Contradictions can’t all be canon or equally as significant at the same time because it needs a source— which we have; the Naruto Manga. It’s what holds the most significance.

That’s how you measure whether something is actually canon or not. 

“… therefore, saying the novels are not canon is the same as saying the Naruto manga isn't canon either”

Besides, if this was true, then canon wouldn’t even exist. Jfc. 

And yes, you can expand on canon like I said. That’s the whole point. It indicates a framework that allows publishing companies to stay consistent and keep their audience happy if they care to do so. But consistency in story or consistency in business doesn’t mean the same thing because it's motivated by two entirely different motives. The willingness to sacrifice artistic work and its audience in order to profit from it financially literally kills creativity in the industry as well as opportunities and it gives them way too much power. The stuff that’s coming out lately is garbage and it’s mostly thanks to people pointing fingers at someone random with their eyes closed, unconcerned about the consequences, and grant them and the business the authority to decide whatever the hell they want about things that already exist— and it never improves. (I’m always free to rant more about it but yk.) 

Like the person you’ve quoted, the motive isn’t to actually convince people that their terrible novels are canon, it’s that canon should give a ship in this case some significance when there wasn’t in the first place. To "fix" something that didn't need any fixing. It has nothing to do with the actual story. 

But canon does because it just is.

Non-negotiable.

Oh! you have a nice day too🌷 I apologize for the rants ><

[no-brain-just-akutagawa]

I just found out Fyodor's cello piece from the 3rd season is called "Bird of death" and I find that interesting for a few reasons.

First of all, is it connected to Nikolai? They work together and -shipping aside - if they're actually friends, it would make sense for Fyodor to write a piece either for him or simply inspired by him. Not only are birds associated with Nikolai, but death as well since he was supposed to die by being cut in half. He also kills people, so if we combine all those things, they kind of make him a symbolic bird of death.

Secondly, it would make the cello scene have a slightly different atmosphere as Fyodor would be playing a piece he associates with his friend who's going to die after commiting a series of murders while a different murder is taking place. Also the situation would be even weirder for Katsura because it would mean he was kidnapped by a guy who didn't just play cello for him, but play a piece he associates with his friend. Of course Katsura would have no way of knowing, but still.

Thirdly, does that make Fyodor a bird of death? Because if it's not connected with Nikolai whatsoever, then it's most likely connected with Fyodor himself. It would make sense because he kills people as well, but would also accidentally make both Fyodor and Nikolai be associated with both birds and death (#matchingimagery).

Lastly, how much does studio Bones know?? I checked the dates of manga volume releases and Sunday tragedy chapters did come out back in 2017, so the team working on the anime would have enough time to integrate this title as an easter egg if they wanted to do that (as the 3rd season began in April 2019), but then again it seems like a random idea to allude to a character from a future arc that they weren't animating at the time. Either a member of the team was/is a fan of bsd or they're getting extra info on future events. Bones also seems to be making surprising decisions when adapting the material (such as putting Fyodor in Untold Origins), so I think it's possible they know something we don't.

But it's also possible that Bird of Death has a different meaning that I'm not aware of or it's all just a coincidence haha

[sylvies-chen]

I have no real feelings towards izzy hands. I do not hate him, I do not feel particular adoration for him, I’ve always felt neutral about him but I do appreciate izzy for what he is. but boy do I have some takes on him! and though I’ve refrained from speaking my mind I’ve learned that the hate mail will come anyway so fuck it, I’m doing a meta. please, if you feel very passionately about izzy on either side of the spectrum, please do not read this. this is a singular person’s interpretation of things, it means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of the world so please just be respectful. ok let’s do it:

*takes deep breath* *taps the mic*

to me, izzy hands is/was an antagonist not because of any internalized homophobia that may or may not be there but because the world of piracy has adopted its own system and practice of hegemonic masculinity.

hegemonic masculinity is the practice of the dominance of men— or, certain kinds of men— in society, so women and other marginalized ways of being a man are subordinated (i.e. queer men, trans men, disabled men, fem men). our flag means death does a great job of establishing two very different worlds and their takes on hegemonic masculinity: high society, and piracy. in high society, whiteness and wealth are two main pillars of masculinity. men are allowed to exhibit more feminine behaviour or attire such as ornate and colourful clothing, wigs, bows, tights, makeup, etc. because they are displays of social status and material wealth. in the world of piracy, however, those things aren’t exactly possible. violence is the real currency and the main tool in constructing the toxic masculine hierarchy. their attire has to be intimidating and express a capacity for violence. toxic masculinity is also established and formed through a sort of stoicism/being emotionally closed off, intimidation, power, deception, and fear.

ed has mastered how to perform fear and masculinity all too well over the years, but he also hasn’t been happy whatsoever in that role so when he discovers stede, he finds stede’s attitude refreshing and transformative.

season 1 izzy is different. season 1 izzy has thrived within the pirating world by adhering to the standards of hegemonic masculinity and does not see any problem with it. he enjoys the existence of a hierarchy and, though he dreams of being captain/top dog, still thoroughly adored (past tense now, though I originally wrote this before the teaser clip came out) being servile to edward. this sort of devotion does come from a place of being in love with ed. he does not have a problem with that, nor does he have a problem with the fact that men love other men. if it were up to izzy, gayness/homosexuality would be integrated as an acceptable characteristic of hegemonic masculinity.

but stede does not want that. he questions why patriarchal society has dictated that men not, under any circumstance, display their creativity, their emotion, vulnerability, hopes, dreams, or fears in front of each other. he questions why men have been taught to bottle things up, and why they aren’t more kind to one another. he actively works to dismantle toxic/hegemonic masculine standards within his own crew and season 1 izzy hates that. he sees those as the qualities of someone weak, soft, and effeminate. he wants to have queerness subscribe to the qualities of toxic masculinity that have been enforced upon him which is why his main beefs have been with lucius and stede, who are the most “feminine” and open gay men on the ship (stede being emotionally open in izzy’s eyes at least, and lucius being sexually open/vocally open and indifferent to authority). that’s why he uses lucius’s flirtatiousness and “promiscuity” as blackmail, and not his actual gayness. his problem has to do with his version of masculinity. he sees lucius and stede’s ways of being a man as worthy of subordination.

and yes, that is bad and he needs to work to unpack all that shit. but you can see through his comments in the trailer about piracy fostering a sense of belonging, through the teaser clip of him crying in front of others, through the unhealthy dynamic he finds himself in with ed where he pushed a button that he didn’t realize was going to set off a bomb in ed (metaphorically speaking), that he is starting to unpack it, and is learning the hard way (through much sympathizable suffering) that this system benefits no one, not even him. it harms him, in fact. his loyalty to a standard of masculinity that is so unobtainable, to a system that is not built in anyone’s favour, and one that makes him the losing dog every time, is starting to crack!! we can see him learn to develop a form of masculine self-expression without any of the toxic qualities that made him so wound up as before, and instead allow healthy masculinity to co-exist with a culture of acceptance and queer community!!! but his antagonism in season 1 doesn’t mean he’s homophobic per se, it just made him gender normative and annoying.

[izzyizumi]

{D I G I M O N} Adventure/{+}"Our War Game"; tri./tri. Stage-play; "Adventure:" {Reboot} + K O U S H I R O x T A I C H I {KouTai} / {TaiKou} / {Taishiro[u]} + {P h y s i c a l} T o u c h & A f f e c t i o n (of Support) {across multiple f o r m s of Series}

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[taichi-x-koushiro]

{D I G I M O N} Adventure (Series) + M U S I C V I D E O {25TH A n n i v e r s a r y Ver.} Various New M o m e n ts of ~ CANON {A D O P T E E}!Koushiro{u} & I Z U M I s + Koushiro & Chosen {as F R I E N D S} + Koushiro & T e n t o m o n + Koushiro x Taichi {KouTai} / {Taishiro[u]} (Relevancy)

Bonus:

Caps by @izzyizumi / koushirouizumi / hikari-m / taichi-x-koushiro {Do Not Re-post} {Do Not Copy} {Do Not Remove Caption} {Do Not Re-produce My Work Under Any Circumstances Without My Permission Whatsoever!}

Image usage rules under the ‘read more’!

{Usage of gifs may be allowed if permission is asked / or if credit is given. However, read my about & FAQ pages first. Please do NOT use / ask if you match anything in my “Do Not Interact” sections.}

{Please agree to my banners/blog rules BEFORE Interacting}

REGARDING EDITS/GIFS USAGE:

-they must NOT be used to spread negativity for the canon/fandom! {INCLUDES: in regards to Adventures AS A WHOLE, Adventure (Original series), 02, Tri, Kizuna, Adventure & 02 movies, Drama CDs, any spinoff materials} -they must NOT be used to promote ship-warring within the fandom -they must NOT be used to attack any Adventures character focused on

IF I SEE YOU DOING THIS I WILL LIKELY BLOCK WITHOUT M E R C Y

{usage may be allowed IF PERMISSION IS ASKED TO USE.}

{Please also LIKE this post if you are wanting to use!} {Once you have “Like’d”, You must contact me directly or privately to ask for permission!} {However, read my about & F.A.Q pages first. Please DO NOT use / ask if you match anything in my “Do Not Interact” section.}

{I MAY POLITELY DECLINE USAGE REGARDLESS. Please do not take it personally!}

{if you are unsure if you can use you can SEND ME AN ASK} {I will check your blog; if you do not match anything on my “D.N.I”; [CHECK THE FAQ FOR MY D.N.I SECTION/S] you will likely/may pass the check and can use!} {However please note my ENTIRE FAQ sections on such} {It is possible I may not grant permission for other reasons} [i.e.: You post a lot of something I have blacklisted]

PLEASE ALSO NOTE: {My head-canons for the characters of this series VARY} {for Main human characters in this set particularly [Adventure+02 Chosen / various Advs charas]; I headcanon most as/on the M-spec/Multi gender attracted {spectrum}*} {this post/my edits ARE NOT for people who cannot respect this fact or M-spec people / M-spec headcanons / MF relationships, Queer identities, etc. in general!}

[PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL AND FOLLOW MY RULES] {OR DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS POST/MY CONTENTS}

(Note: Tagging/commenting/discussing Positively/respectfully is OK!!)

[lunar-years]

2, 5 and 8 for Ted Lasso for the ask game <3

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!

Jamie (very occasionally) soft-domming Roy. As a little treat for both of them.

Roy had a ring and planned to propose to Keeley in Marbella (because you know what, it's just like Roy to be like: Well, I fear this relationship is floundering and speed running towards it's inevitable conclusion. I know exactly what will fix it: a 6 week long holiday and a proposal! WHAT 🤦‍♀️ A disaster! ❌)

i'm not really a gay!Roy truther at all because i'm in too deep on the roykeeley/ot3 of it all, but I can set that aside to enjoy: so afraid that time will take it all from me by LikeAMovieIOnceSaw. It is a brilliant and exceptional fic that 100% had me fully believing in gay!Roy for the entirety of reading it.

5. something you see a lot in fics and love

use of the the following nicknames: Jay-Jay, Jay, Jam Tartt, Keels <3

during the post s2 hiatus I absolutely ate up any fic whatsoever where Jamie starts staying with RoyKeeley because of Heavy Circumstances, and what starts as 'temporary' quickly becomes something more permanent as they grow into a relationship

Jamie being injured on the pitch or from violence with his dad or what have you, and Roy and/or Keeley worrying and fretting over him. bonus points if he's in the hospital and Roy and Keeley are worrying and fretting at his bedside!

Roy taking Jamie home/over to Keeley's after Man City and taking care of him.

jamiegender stuff

8. you hope more people will come to appreciate ___ (a ship, a trope, an episode, etc)

the good stuff about s3 (it wasn't ALL bad you guys!!)

jamiekeeley at all stages

how romantic Roy is (dare I say he's the most romantic of the trio?)

Nate deserved redemption and his arc was much better than people will tell you it was (not perfect, obviously. but good!)

How happy Rebecca is in Amsterdam with Matthijs. "the real rebecca is silly" ...and what an embodiment of that her plot is Amsterdam is!! it was romcom material idc

Sam and Jamie best friendism. I feel like we DO appreciate this as a fandom and yet we still don't talk about them enough lol idk. you can never have too much samjamie appreciation.

Fandom Ask Game

[astrum-aetherium]

what do you think about henry with a s/o that is maths/science smart? would they get along or too different? from a maths girlie 😋

see, this is a partnership in which i feel henry would feel most intellectually challenged by his s/o. unless, of course, he was dealing with someone who bore an even broader knowledge of his own area of expertise, the classics. in regard to a math/science-smarts-focused scenario, however, let’s discuss:

because he respects that area of intelligence — despite not caring much about it as proven by his lack of interest for anything scientific, like the moon landing (lol) — i don’t think he wouldn’t be able to get along with someone who is more knowledgeable in that realm, even romantically. if anything, i think it would rouse his interest all the more, and he would at last have at least a little fuck to give about anything related thereto. plus, we know him to be somewhat mathematically gifted — he can deal with tremendous sums in his head, and that already poses a topic the two of you could discuss together at length. besides, i think it would do him good to have someone at his side who isn’t that infatuated by the classics, it’d be refreshing; his pretentious elitist bubble would be burst — he could even be humbled, and do imagine that — but it’s in no way an inherently bad thing whatsoever. he deserves to be brought back down to earth every now and again, as i’m sure we will all agree on, and a scientifically-oriented person will be able to do just that if i do say so myself. you guys do have an overall more sober and collected, tough-core air to you, if you’ll allow an english major to generalize a bit; less whimsical, but in a necessary humbling way. it’s what i like most about you.

there would be certain differences, of course, but that’s the beauty of a developing, riveting (friend-/relation-)ship — sharing bits of your respective areas of interest to broaden one another’s horizons anew and anew. admittedly, henry wouldn’t care about your material too much at first, but i believe he could grow intrigued with something he wasn’t particularly hyperfixated on if it was complex enough (as theoretical math and science are notorious for being) and/or enjoyed profoundly by someone he was fond of.

in the end, it could be evenings of him breaking down the various grammatical structures of latin/ancient greek to you, and you responding with complex greek theorems or scientific research conducted in the ancient timeframes he’s so interested in. you could thrive on one another’s knowledge, propel one another further on a cognitive level, and simply evolve as academics. after all, academic relationships not only involve parties versed in humanities, but science as well, in spite of literature and modern fiction underrepresenting the fact. i am unaware of the existence of a novel of a math smart x humanities smart pairing yet, but i’m sure it’d make for a thrilling plot. why not dabble into that idea?

to cut a prolonged rant short: yes, i think it would work well — with time. it’d certainly require heaps of patience, especially on your end, considering his condescension and disinterest in regard to science. but no, the two of you wouldn’t be too different for it not to work out in the end. after all, you’re still involved in the study and analysis of highly complex academic matters, wherefore the signature dark academia pretentiousness is still there; the specific area wouldn’t matter here — though, as i said, over time.

[kaigarax]

Conviction

Or This is How to Open Up

Michael Kaiser x Reader

Quote: "Fall in love with someone brave."

It is of the utmost importance, regardless of someone’s age, gender or race, to be excellent in at least one thing. One must not merely excel at this single task but be fundamentally better than anyone else within similar circumstances attempting to accomplish that very same task and in a location relative to yours.

Of course, this entire theory can be ultimately tossed out and entirely forsaken if one does not wish to become important (in any way whatsoever) and hopes to maintain an ordinary life. It should be noted that by choosing to ignore this most radical and sensible piece of advice you are outright denying oneself of all human pleasures that fall into either category of dreams or desires.

This piece is, of course, only one of seven different instructionals to help guide you into a world of excellence. One should hope to not just entertain themselves with these pieces of work but look to apply them into their everyday life. Once again, it should be noted that all pieces should be read and thought on for an optimal absorption of the materials.

Now, without further ado, this is how to open up.

---

What will we do with a drunken sailor?

What will we do with a drunken sailor?

What will we do with a drunken sailor?

Ear-ly in the morning!

Kaiser never cared much for the fanfare that was the life of a pirate. Sure, it made sense that men would want to enjoy themselves after week long journeys upon the perilous sea but overindulgence in anything couldn’t very well be considered healthy.

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Ear-ly in the morning!

The voices of the sailors were coming out more as incoherent slurs than intelligent phrases. Another reason to not find much enjoyment in the fanfare.

Shave his belly with a rusty razor

Shave his belly with a rusty razor

Shave his belly with a rusty razor

Ear-ly in the morning!

Now, what Kaiser did enjoy was the feeling of being upon the sea. The exact reason why he stepped forth onto the ocean in the first place. One could even say that the only reason he endured such extravagant fanfare was because the sea felt more like home than any other place he’d ever been before.

And it’s not as though his crew was a nuisance to deal with either.

Most of them were respectable men, like himself. Knew when to keep to themselves and when they needed to interfere. Trained in somewhat of a formal education and were intelligent enough to keep the ship afloat through rough waters.

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Ear-ly in the morning!

Other crews, in comparison, were not so appreciated.

Filled to the brim with men that likely couldn’t tell the difference between the ends of a broom. Loud, arrogant and crude. Not that Kaiser wasn’t exactly like those men, but he at least knew when to use his manners. Or whatever semblance of manners he managed to acquire in his time upon the ocean.

Now, the only semblance of enjoyment that Kaiser did get out of sailor fanfare (though he’d never admit it) was the… feminine company. Women, of course, were not allowed on sea unless one wished to incur the wrath of the ocean, but the various women one met on the islands were always a pleasure to meet. Ranging in a variety of complections and appearances but nonetheless beautiful.

This island, in particular, seemed to be teaming with various kinds of women. Many to his liking.

But none handsome enough to tempt him tonight.

Until, of course, his eyes land on you.

You’re a pretty thing, with your hair done up all nice. Not as nice as those fancy women that live in elegant cities but prettier than what the others down here have done. It’s neat but not over the top and Kaiser likes that. Your clothes aren’t as neat as your hair but look to be in a good enough condition. Probably meaning you come from a respectable enough family. Well, maybe not. You are out here tonight.

The most intriguing thing about you though has to be your smile. So calm and relaxed despite being surrounded by the loudest of men gathered here tonight.

There’s a book in your hand with cursive writing on the cover. Kaiser can barely make out the words Hunger Games on the cover. It had never been his cup of tea but he had given it a quick read through when he was young. Curious about what all the hype seemed to be.

Put him in a longboat till his sober

Put him in a longboat till his sober

Put him in a longboat till his sober

Ear-ly in the morning!

When your eyes meet with his across the room he knows for certain that he has to make his way over to you. Maybe even get a dance in amongst the chaos.

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Ear-ly in the morning!

Most of them get up to leave as Kaiser makes his way towards you, leaving all seats except for one empty. It’s a man with dark hair and blue eyes sitting beside you who looks to be fading in and out of sleep.

Kaiser takes this opportunity to sit beside you.

Stick him a scupper with a hosepipe bottom

Stick him a scupper with a hosepipe bottom

Stick him a scupper with a hosepipe bottom

Ear-ly in the morning!

“What’s a pretty lass like you doing out here with a crew of no good pirates? Who knows what'll happen to you if there isn’t someone here to keep you safe?”

You laugh, a pretty laugh, “and am I much safer in your company, when you yourself happen to be flying under a black flag?”

Kaiser grins, “hundreds of times, lassie.”

“(Y/n).” You say, “not ‘lassie’, Pirate.”

It’s Kaiser’s turn to laugh. If you’re going to be cheeky then so is he, “privateer.”

“Privateer,” you say the word as if tasting something foreign, “now is that not fascinating. You don’t meet many Privateers this side of the sea. Or at least not many willing to claim the title.”

Kaiser can feel a jab somewhere in that sentence of yours but can’t quite seem to place it. Not while you’re looking up at him with such pretty eyes.

“Michale Kaiser,” he holds a hand out for you to shake.

You stare at his hand, your eyes sparkling with amusement, “And which do you prefer? Your surname or occupation?”

He leans back, “whichever the lassie prefers.”

“Privateer it is.”

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Way hay and up she rises

Ear-ly in the morning!

Your voice is delicate, as all ladies' voices tend to be, but loud enough to not be drowned out by the singing of drunken pirates. And Kaiser quite likes that. Likes how you lean forward when he speaks and keep your eyes on him as if you aren’t afraid of the danger he might bring despite your words saying otherwise.

That’s what we do with a drunken sailor

That’s what we do with a drunken sailor

That’s what we do with a drunken sailor

Ear-ly in the morning!

“How’d a sweet thing like you end up here in the first place? This ain’t no place a nobleman sends his daughter.” Kaiser asks.

“What gave me away?”

“Your words. Ain’t nobody on this side of the sea speaks that posh.”

You smile, “old habits die hard, I presume.”

“That still doesn't explain how ya got here.”

“It’s a trade secret, Privateer. You’re going to have to give me a secret of yours if you’re hoping for a secret of mine.”

“I’m an open book,” Kaiser answers, “everyone seems to know my secrets before me.”

“A Privateer and a reader.”

He grins, “And is that enough to impress ya?”

“Well you’re certainly unlike any other man I’ve met upon the seven seas.”

Take to the seas and set your sails.

Take to the sails to set your dreams.

And pray your life be filled with glee.

The loud and drunk pirates seemed to have finally ended their boisterous song about waking up drunk in the morning and have begun singing songs about dreams. The tune is mostly incoherent with various pirates attempting to silence the rest of the crowd as they step up to sing their solos.

I have a dream unlike any others.

Though maybe it’s just like yours.

Your eyes seem to sparkle at the newest song, despite that the words seem to be made up on the fly.

Amusement and joy.

It’s a pretty look, at least on your face.

I have a dream to learn to fly.

Though I’m burly and stuck to the ground.

Any dream can come true if you have enough pounds.

“Have you ever fallen in love?”

“What?” Kaiser asks.

Your amused expression seems to grow as you lean in towards Kaiser, “have you ever been in love?”

What a strange thing you’ve chosen to ask. Love has never been Kaiser’s strong suite. In fact, sometimes he doubts that he’s ever even been loved in the first place. A life on the seas has never been one meant for love.

“Why?” Kaiser shakes his head, “have you?”

“No,” you smile, “but it’s a pretty thought, ain’t it.”

“Yeah,” Kaiser agrees, “it is.”

I have a dream to play piano.

And sing like a soprano.

If only it didn’t make me so bored!

A large and burly man makes his way up to the two of you and Kaiser sits up in his seat. You don’t seem to be as worried as Kaiser as you lean back and begin to clap your hands along to this beat-less song.

The burly man stands right in front of you, “Ey, (Y/n), does this pretty boy sing?”

Kaiser’s eyes dart between the two of you, surprised at how familiar the pirate is with you and even more surprised at how you respond. Your name sounds familiar. Reminds him of something he knows he shouldn’t have forgotten. He doesn't have time to ponder on it for very long though as you throw him from the pan and into the fire.

You smile, “this pretty boy’s a Privateer.”

“Now he’s gotta sing!” The Pirate exclaims, calling the attention of the crowd.

The room’s chatter is suddenly halted, the eyes of everyone in the room turned to him. The band’s playing fills the silence but the lack of talking feels deafening. The only thing keeping Kaiser from running out the room (aside from his pride) are your bright eyes looking up at him, eagerly waiting to see what he might do next.

“Sing!”

The crowd seems to close in.

“Sing!”

A man brandishes a gun from the corner of the room.

“Sing!”

Kaiser sighs, before bellowing something out.

I have a dream to make it big.

Make my name infamous across the sea.

And have money?

Now, he isn’t all too sure what he belts out, nor is he certain it’s all that good but it seems to amuse the loud band of pirates gathered around her today. He knows he sings something about money and wanting to earn enough, which may not seem to be the best thing on the surface but they’re pirates. As if they’d care that much anyways.

And even if they did care it’s not as if their reactions would matter much to Kaiser anyways.

Well they might’ve mattered if he hadn’t seen the brilliant look in your eyes. Saw the way your entire face seems to light up and the gentle smile you send his way.

Then, in a very un-lady-like way, you jump up to the top of the table, surprising Kaiser with how easy it seems for you. You’re dressed in a short and simple blue dress. The blue looks a little faded but its colour is still vibrant enough to capture the attention of the entire room. Your attention, on the other hand, seems to be entirely on Kaiser.

It makes his heart skip a beat.

When you begin singing it feels as though everything around them has stopped. That everyone has halted their actions (even breathing) in an attempt to commit your voice to memory. Your voice is the clearest one Kaiser’s ever heard. Dreamy and enchanting. He’d most certainly claim you to be a siren if not for the fact that you’re standing here in front of them with two legs. Though the argument could be made otherwise.

I have a dream.

I have a dream.

I want to see this world from bow to stern.

Your dream, to see this world, it’s not exactly earth shattering or as awe inspiring as your singing itself (and if anything it’s a little cliche) but Kaiser’s heart warms at that. It feels genuine. So different from his own words.

And maybe then I’ll find my earn.

Amongst the chaos in this world.

Where even children can have their lives twirled.

This melody less song suddenly has ground. The other singers attempt to repeat some semblance of what you’ve managed to create but none come even close. A young girl, perhaps a barmaid, makes her way to you, her eyes gleaming.

“Are you a Princess?” She asks.

You laugh, “in another life.”

“Marigold,” the burly pirate laughs, “this little lassie here ain’t no princess. She’s a Pirate through and through.”

The young girl’s (and Kaiser’s) mouths drop.

“Captain (Y/n) of the Dream Pirates.”

You are everything a pirate is not. You’re a lady. Delicate and gentle. Warm and polite. So unlike the loud and burly men gathered here tonight. How you even ended up with these folk is already mind scratching enough and now to hear that you aren’t just a lady that’s been swept up in their mess but rather a Pirate Captain.

Actually, he takes that back.

The Dream Pirates, while a stupid name seems to fit you well. You are, in every sense of the word, a dream.

A wonder.

A marvel.

“Cat got your tongue, Privateer?” You ask, your eyes sparkling.

Kaiser grins, “you have a loose thread on your dress, Lassie.”

“Do I?” You look down to the blue thread Kaiser pointed to. “Huh, I suppose I do.”

“And how do you plan to thank me?”

You lean down and pull it loose before dropping down and grabbing Kaiser’s hand. You wrap the blue string around his hand before tying it around his wrist. You smile, “as a token of my appreciation.”

Fall in love with someone brave.

[put-me-out-of-my-destiny]

Proposing V for the ask game, if you're still doing it?

My favorite thing about V:

On a narrative level, he represents the best quality of DMC5, it's fleshing out of Vergil. I love that deep down, underneath the fear-driven quest for power, Vergil is a soft goth boy who loves a particular poet so much he makes it his whole personality. Plus, I love the interpretation that he looks so young because Vergil lost so much of his life to being Nelo Angelo.

On a gameplay level, I love how you can make V constantly taunt while making his minions fight.

My least favorite thing about V:

On a narrative level, as much as I love his voice and design, it would have been so cool if he was a woman instead. Besides the Implications, it would be a neat way of nodding to his human mother. Also, I've been told that the literary character that Urizen is named after is a part of a dyad, the other half of which is a female deity. And DMC5 sorely fumbles it's female representation anyway, having a playable female character might have won it some points (though realistically, there's a good chance they would have fucked up her design, and the hate toward her playstyle would be so much more vitriolic).

Speaking of playstyle, on a gameplay level, I do enjoy playing as V, but the moveset definitely needs more development. I don't like that V's evasive actions require his familiars because you have to interrupt their combat (and even Griffon's attack charging) in order to use them, even though the whole point of V seems to be multitasking. Plus, the hidden range limit for the minions can really screw you, especially considering that Shadow's attacks can easily take it outside of that limit, causing it to teleport back to V's side and interrupt your attack strings. And what's sad is that due to unpopularity, there's a real chance that we won't get to see a new iteration of this playstyle.

(There's even a series in my pinned post all about a certain character ending up in this position, just saying).

My favorite line by V:

It's hard to say, since he has one of the best if not the best vocal performances in the game. I do like that he says "it's my turn to play with the Devil Sword" at one point.

My "brOTP" for V:

I love his friendship with Griffon. It's a shame it got no closure whatsoever because the writers decided they wanted to magically wipe away Vergil's trauma via DMC1 callback boss fight.

My "OTP" for V:

I don't generally like ships for Vergil, but one that I would entertain is one with Lucia. I see the humor in her meeting a man who's just as handsome as Dante but with none of the charm, and realizing she's actually fine with that. Plus, Vergil is far more comfortable with his demon side than his human side, and I think that would extend to Lucia. He would think her devil form is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and he'd be right. Lucia deserves a handsome loser boyfriend who loves the demon in her so much that she learns to love it too, especially since he also comes with a giant stoic tree man with sharp teeth and tentacles, and of course our favorite poetry-lover.

My "nOTP" for V:

Nero x V is sadly popular, even though they're literally father and son. And even when talking about just V, not Urizen or Vergil as a whole, I don't care for shipping him with Lady. She doesn't even fucking like him, nor should she.

A random headcanon about V:

I think his cane is tied to Rebellion in some way. Perhaps it simply contains some of the same materials, which is why it's good at conducting demonic power, and why it allowed him to reunite with Urizen.

An unpopular opinion about V:

While I am firmly in the "V and Vergil are the same character and that isn't a bad thing" camp, I am sympathetic to the wish that V was his own character. I cannot fault someone for loving V but not finding Vergil interesting, and I don't think it's worth getting mad at them over.

A song I associate with V:

Besides Crimson Cloud? There's a "combo mad" sort of video from time to time titled Void Violin, it features some good music.

My favorite picture of V:

That gif of him tripping and dropping his free taco.

[troublemakingrebel]

Fanfic Tag Game

Ayyy, @krankittoeleven, thanks for tagging! Love these little lists!

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

34! (I used to write in two languages, but for this game i count only the English ones)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

295,814... (~1.5 times more words than "Fellowship of the Ring" by JRR Tolkien *sweating*)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Totally obsessed with Assassin's Creed (Valhalla in particular), but also have some WIPs for Cyberpunk 2077.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Right Behind You (Witcher 3), a piece about epic friendship & love between Geralt of Rivia and the absolute husband material Emiel Regis

10 years apart, no more (AC Valhalla), a fix-it for the fLicKEriNg flame nonsense (if you know you know...)

Shall We? (AC Syndicate), another fix-it that makes Maxwell Roth survive the fire as there's no fire at all

The Truth (The Wolf Among Us), about shaky relationship between the Big Bad Wolf and the Woodsman (i'm so surprised it made it to the top-5!!)

In the Belly of the Beast (AC Valhalla), about Ivarr Ragnarsson eating the forbidden Saxon fruit while no one is watching hehe

5. Do you respond to comments?

Of course! Can't leave them hanging there in silence!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Usually, I don't do sad endings, but the most bitter-sweet one is Pebble (Dragon Age: Inquisition) about a kossith who cuts his massive horns off to look more like a human so he could follow his lover to the city where kossith race isn't welcome :c Although I don't think his lover would let him go there anyway......

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Haha every other one :D But Sun, Rum and Gunpowder (AC Black Flag) has the happiest and the most carefree vibes whatsoever!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not on the fics, but the ships! I just delete those because why is it an author's problem suddenly that some people don't know how filters work??

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh, I sure do ;> It's not extremely explicit (no holes in sight, but dicks and balls can be spotted) and is mostly focused on emotions and dialogues.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope, but I write AUs sometimes to spice things up! Modern days AUs are the bane of my existence, and still... somehow... I keep making them...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, but I noticed my lines and phrases in the stories of fellow writers. I appreciate it!!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah!! Out of all possible fics, it was The Remnants of a Ruined Past, a Mad Max (the game!) story translated into Polish. Love it lots!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Never as i am incapable to work in groups haha. I did some challenges though, such as picking a theme and writing something small with a fren to compare the results later. It's very fun and helps to keep your brain gears spinning!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Like, the one and only ship that I could bring along if I was stuck on a desert island? Or the one I don't even write for anymore but carry in my heart daily? The former would be Hawke x Varric (Dragon Age 2) because they're a comfort ship with many possibilities for plots. The latter is Ezio x Leonardo (AC II + Brotherhood + Revelations) and Arthur x Eames (Inception) because they started it all hehe.

15. What’s a fic you’d like to finish but don’t think you ever will?

It's a compilation of drabbles written for a very niche CGI Resident Evil movie (Damnation) & very rare pair that i was planning to continue for as long as the planet keeps spinning, but got overwhelmed with the amount of ideas I had in mind :c

16. What are your writing strengths?

Humor and dialogues!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything el– 🥲 Deep character studies, believable politics and fights.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

A big yes from me, it ads depth and character when used correctly. Also, it's very interesting to keep an evening reading about the language you're planning to use, even it's for a few simple words.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

It was an attempt to mimic Marie Corelli and write a ficlet for her novel "The Sorrows of Satan". And then Assassin's Creed took my soul and I've never seen it since! Kinda ironic, huh...

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm gonna cheat bc I'm quite proud about Beautiful Decline, a series of four fics written for Assassin's Creed Valhalla. It's an enormous project that was never meant to break out from its confinements and produce three more stories lmao.

Tagging @firefly-partyn and @krankittoeleven if you wanna join!