#mostly just processing here

[icewindandboringhorror]

(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)

[pill-bottles-as-percussion]

Something I feel complicated and a bit guilty about as a person with a fairly covert disability is my reactions to seeing people with physical disabilities or mobility aids.

Because my first instinct is to stare. I can usually catch myself (though not always, thank you ADHD) and I’m aware that it’s probably something that makes that person uncomfortable.

But I’m not staring from disgust, or pity, or horror, but from genuine curiosity. Like if I saw someone missing their left hand, my brain starts running down the rabbit hole of “Were they born with that, or is it an injury? Hmm, no scar tissue, probably born with it. What kinds of mobility aids do they need, if any? Has that otherwise affected their nervous system?” Etc etc.

Which is arguably its own form of objectification, seeing someone’s disability as a puzzle to be solved.

I don’t know, I guess it just feels complicated to me. I want to understand the world around me and the people in it and there isn’t always time or it isn’t always respectful to engage in those kinds of discussions. So sometimes I look a little longer than maybe I should.

[lapinhearts]

♦️♣️ Heartslabyul ♠️♥️

[nipuni]

THE DOCTOR We had a pact, him and me. Every star in the universe, we were going to see them all.

My version of The Master and The Doctor in their Academy days 😊

A speedpaint video of this will be available at my Patreon on april 1st!

[c6jpg]

Well? Have I convinced you yet?

[im-smart-i-swear]

whatever. go my paladin

[navree]

Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.

Kamala 2024!

If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.

But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.

[yourresidentstanlover]

Stan was normal. 

He’d always been normal. He wasn’t like Ford. He knew when people were being sarcastic, he knew not to take everything literally. That’s why he protected Ford, because he was the ‘normal’ one.

Nevermind the fact that he felt like he didn’t understand what people were saying sometimes, despite the fact that there was nothing physically wrong with his ears. Ignore the issue of him not being able to focus on his work for more than a minute before getting distracted. And the times that he felt like crying because everything was too damn loud? Not important, that’s what. It’s stupid whenever he breaks down crying because he’s overwhelmed and upset– he shouldn’t be crying, he’s a man, dammit!

Sometimes he’d sit in his chair like a frog, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t normal, he just liked to be a little silly sometimes. And so what if the texture of Brussels sprouts made him gag, most kids hated vegetables anyways. 

What do you mean he shouldn’t be getting so attached to people he barely knew? And just… ignore the inability to tell the difference between romantic attraction and platonic affection, that’s not relevant here!

Stan was told so himself: Ma said he’s a normal kid. He’s not like his brother.

But let’s just gloss over the fact that Stan always felt like an outsider whenever he was having a conversation. That he had to think about how long he should look into someone’s eyes before looking away. And the times when he was told that the questions that he asked were inappropriate? Eh, he was just a kid, kids say dumb shit all of the time. Just don’t look at the fact that he tends to blurt out painfully honest truths sometimes. Don’t look at when he would overshare to a point where he made everyone uncomfortable. People overshare all the time, it’s fine. And the fact that he seemed to never shut up? Probably just the sugar in those Asbest O’s. He should probably quit chewing on those hoodie strings…

As Stan got older, he found himself becoming more ‘normal’ but… feeling more terrible. It’s hard to talk to people in a normal way. Sitting in chairs normally sucks. Eye contact is an awful thing to figure out. It doesn’t feel too great to stop moving his arms around. …Maybe he wasn’t all that normal, after all…

[kenzan-brainrot-mp4]

talk more about the white whale/whale symbolism in general whatever thoughts you have on the whale stuff i want to hear it 👂

GRAHHHHH YEAH (This one got. Long (again lol) So be prepared (series-wide spoilers but I feel like that's a given atp))

First of all I just wanna say that I love how rgg drags the player along around the final chapter title. With how upfront the other chapter titles are in what they're referring to, you might end up wondering why they chose White Whale for the final chapter title once you see the title card (or at least I did). Of course, this could just be referring to the treasure that everyone's been looking for, but with how nonchalantly they react to the fact that the treasure isn't actually there, it doesn't seem to completely fit the bill.

But then you beat the game (and by this I mean beat the final boss) and lo and behold, there's an Actual white whale, and so you think "Oh! Duh, the chapter's called White Whale because there's a literal white whale and it pretty much just finished off the final boss!" But that still doesn't make that much sense. Why name the final chapter (arguably the most important one) after some whale that appears in the last like 15 minutes of the game? Like, take the final chapter name of (Kiryu) Gaiden, it's literally the name of the game (The Man Who Erased His Name) so it's gotta be something more significant than that, right? (But then of course take into the account that by this point the player is still convinced that nothing really in pyih is too deep/serious, so maybe it could just be something as simple as that).

Then you get to the credits, and they reveal that the "elixir"/the ambergris is found in the stomachs of whales. Damn, that's pretty crazy/cool, but once again, nobody that was actively seeking the treasure (Rodriguez, Jason/Noah, Spade Tucker, etc you know the drill) seems to hung up on the fact that they didn't find it, and they didn't even encounter the whale, so they wouldn't get that same sense that they just missed it either, again, it's not a big deal really, so why make that the final chapter title?

Of course, we all know what this builds up to: the big reveal, the fact that Majima, who we've been following along with this entire game, was looking for that elixir this entire time, was the only one to actually encounter a whale in the game, and then there's the insane line drop from Saejima.

"Kiryu Kazuma. You never could give up on that one."

Ironically, the final chapter title has nothing to do with that whale you saw earlier at all, rather it's a summary of what Majima's motivations/actions for this game, and the past. Almost every game, has meant for him. It's what Saejima spells out for us at the end of the game, but said in even fewer words.

An all-consuming obsession that only leads to your destruction. An impossibility, something that you can destroy yourself over but never achieve/obtain. This is what the white whale means, metaphorically. And it is this, exactly, that Kiryu is to Majima.

Kiryu is larger than life itself, to just about everyone. He's a legend, he's the one Majima has had his sights on since the very beginning, the legend he chases after game after game and also what he destroys himself over game after game.

(see:

Yakuza 1 -> Majima just straight up taking a full-on stab wound for Kiryu. Like, buddy, I literally saw one of my favorite characters die that way in another game, there was No guarantee you were surviving that.

Yakuza 2 -> Majima fights off an army of yakuza for Kiryu. That man was beat to total Shit (which is Not something that happens often) and we all saw it

Yakuza 3 -> Majima re-enters the Tojo Clan for Kiryu even though he is (extremely likely) aware that it is already entering its steady decline that we see throughout the rest of the series up until its dissolution. And while he's willing to do it for Kiryu, we can't exactly say that he's happy about the situation as a whole.

Yakuza 5 -> Majima's willingness to die for Haruka, specifically stated because "She means more to Kiryu-chan than life itself." Like, of course he wouldn't just let Haruka get killed, but to choose to mention Kiryu as part of his reasoning in that moment? Christ

While I (surprisingly) can't say anything particularly self-destructive happened in (Kiryu) Gaiden and Infinite Wealth, you could argue that Majima trying to more and more directly tell Kiryu not to leave ("No need to rush outta here yet... Alright?" -> "Don't leave! Don't you dare leave, Kiryu-chan!"), knowing that it's likely pointless, knowing Kiryu, is not doing himself any favors.

Pirate Yakuza -> *gestures at the entire game*

Also his reaction to encountering that giant squid ("Sure is a helluva way to die. I think I'm into it!"). Like, okay. I don't want to try and read too much into it because it was very likely just a one off line. But I'm still gonna side-eye it.

Honestly now that I think about it, if Majima Had died fighting that giant squid (that is such a way to begin a sentence thank you rgg), you could argue that that would've been his nail in the coffin for the white whale metaphor. If he had, it would've meant that his obsession for Kiryu is what got him dragged down into the literal depths of the ocean, and even if it wouldn't be Kiryu physically dragging Majima down like the white whale to Ahab, this is a situation that is completely, entirely, fueled by Majima's obsession towards him (Majima had no real interest in the nuclear waste cleanup project, after all, Kiryu was his one motivation this entire time), and it would've drowned him.

Guess that means he got real lucky with the last part, but we all know he sure as hell isn't beating the allegations.)

All this and yet Majima seems to fail to reaching Kiryu time and time again.

Majima does not obtain the Heart of the Dragon, found in the intestines of the literal whale. He does not obtain eternal life for Kiryu. And he (arguably, though the final scene of him walking to Kiryu's hospital room could oppose this) does not resolve the indefinite limbo that has been sitting between them throughout the entire series. What he gets at the end of the game is the acknowledgement (through Saejima, everybody thank him) that he has been obsessing over this, and perhaps the realization that Kiryu was, in fact, this white whale that he would never truly reach ("Well, still just a dream in the end.") Of course this is something he already knows/has acknowledged deep down, and it's a feeling that is hinted at in some of his dialogue in scattered moments, but this is the first time he ever says it in such an outright manner.

I guess in a way, you could say that Pirate Yakuza is a story about the newfound success of all the people Majima helped and supported in achieving their dreams, and the continued failure of Majima in pursuing his own (Kiryu), and him needing to acknowledge/accept that. And the post-credits begs the question of what he decides to do with the aftermath and what he has left. (An oversimplification definitely but still. augh. Augh)

Naming the final chapter White Whale was yet another crazy move on rgg's part. Its so unassuming, seemingly straightforward yet also seemingly insignificant, but once the realization dawns on you it slaps you right in the face, just like everything else about this game does. It's yet another instance of how rgg managed to pull its big reveal so well, with all the small details, all the reframing, all pointing back to the same topic that it had spent the entire rest of the game dancing around.

Majima recounting his story of how he went to Hawaii -> Majima recounts his story to Kiryu in the exact same way at the very end

The treasure everyone's been looking for/known about + Majima, the one guy who didn't have knowledge about any of this legend stuff prior? -> Wrong, he was after the treasure from the very start (before the amnesia at least). For Kiryu

Majima originally being on course for Hawaii so he could help with the nuclear waste cleanup even though he'd be bored as hell? -> Nah. For Kiryu (Ohhhhh you know what this is reminding me of some screenshots I took from near the beginning of the game)

(I'm sure this meant nothing of course. Lol. Lmao)

Majima's dream during pirate yakuza being to fulfill Other People's dreams -> Haha. Well, I think you get the point by now

Kiryu, Kiryu, Kiryu. It all goes back to Kiryu, every single time, without fail, in an obsessive loop that Majima has been dragging himself around over for Years. He is the white whale, seemingly untouchable, the constant object of Majima's attention and devotion in so many forms, his consistent weak point, that only seems to dig at him deeper as the games go on.

Like I said before, while the white whale metaphor is undeniable, and essentially spells doom for Majima, it's not over for him yet. Because, hey, he didn't drown at sea, or die on the beach. He was saved, and he's survived enough to retell that tale and reflect on it all with Saejima in the post-credits, brief as that reflection was. I mentioned before how he really only said one line of any actual substance during that specific part of the exchange, but the significance of it says so much.

"Well, still just a dream in the end"

As much as it hurts to here Majima address the hopelessness of it all, to hear him say something like that after Saejima basically just laid out his sheer devotion and refusal to give up on his dream for everyone to see, I think the bittersweetness is. Good, actually. Captain Ahab never gave up on that pursuit on the white whale, and it destroyed him; that whale dragged him down until he finally drowned, and it feels like all Majima has been doing over Kiryu since Yakuza 3 is drowning himself in him.

Don't get me wrong, I (for now at least) do not take that line as a complete admittance of defeat, or Majima finally giving up on Kiryu, on that dream he could never let go of. (Like I've been saying, it's an acknowledgement, not exactly a declaration.) I do not think it means he is just letting go, full-stop.

But I do hope it means he can stop himself from self-destructing completely. I hope it means that he can slow down with the wild chase, (and that he and Kiryu can just. Sit down and talk like fucking normal people. Which i guess they are doing in the post-credits, supposedly) and I hope it means that he won't drown completely, especially in the case of the worst possible scenario.

[terukotime]

merry christmas y'all......so project eden's garden amirite

[samglyph]

I like when Kayne mockingly imitates Larson’s accent in “don’t forget to write” because it’s very funny whenever a voice actor has to mockingly imitate themself as a different character.

[aberooski]

○° Part of you, and a part of me

Close your eyes and you will see

It's not hard to believe °○

Trying to get back into drawing more again, and I wanted to really finalize these designs to where I'm actually happy with them, so here we are!

Sheets for each of the 4 girls with all of their parts and pieces for reference and just to look at how pretty they are! 🥰

Click for better quality as always, tumblr has it out for me in that way hahaha 😅

[lesbiansanemi]

700 followers fic requests open !!!!

We’ve officially hit 700 followers on this blog, so to celebrate, I’ll be taking fic requests for a week or two! Send an ask to submit one! They can be as detailed or as sparse as you like, and I’ll work with it!

Fandoms I’ll write for

Demon Slayer, Jujutsu Kaisen, Genshin Impact, Chainsaw Man, Bleach, Madoka Magica, My Hero Academia, Fullmetal Alchemist, Trigun, Kill la Kill, Blue Exorcist, Dungeon Meshi, or if you’ve seen me post about it at least once, it’s probably fair game

WILL WRITE

Most ships, NSFW (must be 18+ to request), most kinks (up to my discretion and some on a case by case basis but there’s few I won’t work with), gore, etc

WILL NOT WRITE

Rape/Non-con, underage, incest, pedophilic ships, x-reader

Once a request is finished, I will answer the ask by posting it, as well as the ao3 link. Upon getting requests, they will be what I work on immediately based on the order I get them. There is no set amount I am taking, but if a lot are submitted, I may end up announcing a cut off number

Unless otherwise specified and the idea really inspires me and runs away with me, requests will be one-shots likely around at least 3k words

Finally, thank you so much to everyone here and who has supported me! It’s sometimes crazy to think about the support I get for my writing, and while I don’t obsess over follower counts or anything, I do greatly appreciate the support of everyone here <3

[catfishofoldin99colours]

personally I think curly's real name is actually Cuthbert and he Hates it so much and curly is his attempt to seem somewhat cooler and less of a bullying target (Jimmy knows his real name and on Pain Of Death he is never allowed to speak it ever)

[localsharkcryptid]

Silly very self indulgent canon divergent AU idea that I really want to write VS "BUT WHY WOULD HE SAY THAT??? HOW DO WE MAKE THIS LOGICAL TO THE CHARACTER" with the part where it diverges from canon - FIGHT

[thatfriendlyanon]

🟩