#moving without stress
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So tonight might very well be the last time I can draw anything before my stuff like my computer ultimately has to get packed up for the move out.
I don't expect it to take too long until I can have my stuff reassembled and connected to the internet at my new house, but I think it could be a few days. Don't worry, I'll very likely still be able to lurk as well as answer asks and chat since I still have my phone! But I might not be able to post art for a bit.
So until then, have Doey and Cassie having a big fat nap because damn they both need one of those
#ppt#poppy playtime#doey the doughman#fnaf sb ruin#cassie#playdough and glitter au#jellycream art#this will be the first house i'll get to live in that is actually mine and not rent#im both excited and stressed as all hell#bc both my parents have the temper pride and emotional maturity of 3 year olds#and their inability (or unwillingness) to proper conflict-solve without up-upping one another is a huge reason for this move#but i digress. its prolly just one of those 'it gotta get messy before it gets pretty' situations#but man do i need a big fat nap too just like those two LMAOOO
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#kirby#for sale#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#idk bro I really don't advertise much but I am allowed#I want money to buy myself little treats to cope with the stress of my wife moving without me for work 👍
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i cant go back to that life man
#every time i think im out they pull me back in <- was in pokeask for 5+ years#i knew what i was getting into playing pmd and the temptation to start another ask blog is overwhelming#but i also knw i absolutely dont have the energy to keep it going for at least 6 months LOL. at some point it eventually feels more#like an obligation and it feels draining. maybe ill do it again at some point but when i learn how to manage my expectations#also everyone i knew is either deactivated or hasnt posted since 2021.. and im always gonna compare that to the 2016 daily ask#blog boom around the time sm came out. unfortunately im picky so i like to have a lot of options and it looks like ask blogs kinda waned#since i last played in the community. i at least have the sense not to join a community discord now. that was so bad for my heart#i knw it sounds like i hated my time there but it was fun and a good way of getting to know other ppls ocs and stories#and a fun way of writing and participating in other ppls stories without it feeling like such a one sided thing#looking back i think it also leans heavily on how you write your characters and interactions than a fully fleshed out plot#if i loosened up a bit and let my story go with the flow of asks instead of only letting it lead down one route i wouldve had more fun#instead i was constantly trying to pick out what order to answer questions to make it go the way i wanted it to go#and not really learning how to anticipate and move with questions that wouldve opened up a lot of possibilities#which couldve made it more fun and less stressful. idk#yapping#diary
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You know I really love how Squid Game pushes it's scenes so far that it makes you feel that sense of urgency and distress that the characters feel. It can easily happen that if a scene goes on for too long for the purpose of keeping you in suspense that it then gets boring or annoying. But that never happens in Squid Game. Some scenes are incredibly long, especially the games, I know I got so stressed out watching Dalgona for the first time because the scene just would not end. But that's exactly what the length of that scene is supposed to do for you. Often when you are feeling a lot of anxiety or are in a moment of intense stress everything around you can feel slower. Like time takes longer to pass. Especially when you have a time limit and still need to concentrate and not make any mistakes. And in my opinion Squid Game conveys that perfectly. The games, they drag on even though a game itself is often not that long. Red Light, Green Light has a timelimit of 5 minutes. That's so little!! But they make you feel every damn second of it while watching. I'm not sure if the actual scene was longer than 5 minutes, but it probably was. But they don't cut out stuff. Often when things happen over a span of time in shows and movies they don't add in parts where not much happens and just cut to the part that's interesting again. But in Squid Game because it is life or death and because of how anxiety can make you feel like time is passing slower every moment for the players feels so long and every moment is important. And that's what I really love in how they made the show. Because yes scenes may be going on for a long time. But they're showing you in the most realistic way possible how the players experience these moments. Add to that that there's almost no added in music like pop songs and in general there's not that much background music either. Because it would just take you out of the intensity of the scene, seperate you from the character's point of view. So a lot of scenes are very quiet in the way that every sound you hear is also a sound that a character inside the show is hearing too. Squid Game, just in the way it's made and filmed and in how long scenes take, is made to be so realistic and wants you to feel as closely as possible to what the characters themselves are feeling too. I really love this way of making a show
Btw I made this post because I realized that this doesn't just happen in the games but also outside of them. When Gi-hun is searching for the recruiter we get a montage of all of them searching, the days passing and Gi-hun ripping off pages from his calendar, but even here that montage takes longer than a montage to show the passage of time usually takes. Because it is long. They can't show us every day of Gi-hun just searching again and again but they can sure make us feel like we've just watched that. And you start out watching it thinking "oh they're gonna show us them finding him in like the next 30 second" but they don't. And there's one point where you think the montage is over but then it isn't. And you get frustrated watching it because "why can't they find the recruiter already?? This is taking so long" and that's Exactly how Gi-hun is feeling in that moment. They drag it out, they show you so much of everybody just searching and days passing and they Want you to be annoyed, because then you're really getting it. You're really getting how fucking long it took to find the Recruiter and what a painfully and annoyingly slow and exhausting process it was. And that's just another way that this show is so damn amazing!!! Because it's so fucking good at making you feel exactly what a character is feeling!! They're not just telling you "oh yeah this took long but they did it", no. They're Showing you exactly how long it took.
And suddenly we've arrived at one of my favorite story telling rules which is "show, don't tell" and I think Squid Game applies this rule really really well
(I have more rambly thoughts under the cut that have a little bit to do with this post but focus on another part of it. Also if the structure of this post feels weird that's probably because I had many different thoughts and just kinda put them where I felt they fit in best so idk, I have a hard time rereading stuff I've written so sorry if the flow of it feels off)
Tbh I think it might also be a little bit why the show appeals to so many people and why so many people go and participate in Squid Game the Challenge or that Mr Beast shit. With the way Squid Game is made and filmed to be so immersive it has the power to give the viewer that same rush of adrenaline that the players inside the show feel. But us viewers sit at home and we know we are safe and so we want more of that adrenaline. It's maybe kind of like Bungee Jumping. You get that rush, that thrill of "holy shit I'm Falling", but you know you're safe. You're doing something you would otherwise only experience right before death. And obviously that is what Squid Game the Challenge is like, because being in it you know if this was real, as in real the way it is real in the show, then you'd be very close to death at any given moment. But you're not. Because you don't die if you fail. But you still get that thrill because of that association with death without actually having to be afraid of it. And that's when it gets fun. And while I don't think that this was intended the show is partly also as popular as it is, Because just by watching it you get a little bit of that adrenaline that's fun for you because you know you're safe
Also another thought about the 'show, don't tell' point of it all. There's not that much talking happening in Squid Game. Like people obviously speak to each other but often there are also long periods of time where nobody is speaking at all. But that doesn't matter because this show is so good at showing us everything that is important without much words needed. I'm pretty sure you could watch it without sound or subtitles and still get most of the plot of it. And that's really impressive
#i think a lot of media is afraid of being boring#so they shorten scenes that take longer to make them not feel so long#it's kind of a relief for the viewer#yes this character went through those incredibly tense 10 minutes but don't worry it'll be only 3 minutes for you#you get to see the star some of the middle to show you that stiff actually happens and then the end where they are finally done#but don't wory we won't make you sit through ten minutes of quiet just watching this character trying to accomplish a task without much els#happening#that would be boring#any then you are the viewer are nicely out#but#those actions scenes oh you'll get 30 minutes of action with people beating each other up when realistically they would have probably only#been able to fight for maybe like 5 minutes before they're done#i like that too about squid game#there's not much hand to hand combat (beside the lights out extra games) but when there is it takes a realistic amount of time#and i also feel like (i've not actually been in any fights like that lol but i'm assuming) fighting always goes by really fast in like#how you percieve it#you don't have time to think you just do and you move and then it's over and you don't remember half of it because it happened so fast#especially compared to those high stakes moments where you have to be really careful and be smart while still being threatened with death#if you make one mistake#that Feels a whole lot longer then#anyways idk where else i want to go i just really like how long scenes are in squid game without ever being boring#especially Because it is to convey time perception and the stress a character feels properly#lea's random thoughts#squid game#squid game analysis#also i feel like i just understood 'show don't tell' on a deeper level#cause while they still only visually showed us the time passing#if they had done that in a way where for examply gihun is only crossing of days on his calendar until the day where they find the recruiter#then that still kind of would have been just 'tell' because they're saying 'look time has passed' only without words#but showing it to us (which is what they did) is actually making us feel like time has passed
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PLEASE STOP COPYING FICS ‼️
I am by no means gatekeeping concepts or tropes. We all know that it’s normal to see the same tropes or AUs be used differently, and that is not plagiarism. However, I recently found a fic that was oddly similar to my old (and discontinued) Gojo x Reader series, Reckless. The CEO! Gojo is nothing new, and neither is an accidental pregnancy trope. The only reason I am concerned is because this Gojo series I found has the exact same themes as Reckless that consists of: a playboy CEO Gojo with a very notorious reputation, a poor reader who is an employee and asset to the company (someone who works closely with Gojo), reader getting knocked up from a one night stand with Gojo, reader with a seemingly dead/absent mother yet still in contact with her father, Gojo with a very traditional family who does not like reader, and Gojo with an ex he struggles to let go of - which are all elements of Reckless.
The first chapter of that Gojo fic is also eerily similar to my first chapter with the same flow of: YN finding out she’s pregnant and her friend being there for her, Gojo saying he’ll take responsibility because ‘they both made the baby’, YN having to move in with Gojo to take care of the baby, and both of them coming to a mutual agreement that their ‘relationship’ will be purely for the baby’s benefit. The flow of events and specific details about the characters’ backgrounds are too similar to mine.
Again, I am not gatekeeping concepts, just as how I’ve had other writers ask me if they could write their own stories or takes based off of the NAOYA’S TROPHY WIFE COLLECTION or the BONTEN HUSBANDS EXCLUSIVE, and I’m fine with that. I’m even happy people are inspired by what I write. But being inspired is completely different from taking someone’s story and posting it as yours. Please trust your own creativity and skills in writing. You can write amazing stories and have people love them without having to steal from others.
It’s sad to say this is not the first time I, and other writers, have been plagiarized. It’s even more upsetting to know that a friend of mine who has also written a Gojo series (that I’m sure you all know and dearly love) experiences the same issues with the same person. The fact that this is happening to many writers out there is disheartening. We work hard and pour a lot of love in the stories we create. None of us are getting paid for this, and we simply want to share our passions with others. So please, let us be kinder with one another and show love and support the right way. If you love a fic, you give feedback and rb/comment + show support to the writer. You don’t steal their ideas and play it off as your own because you liked it.
#for context: my Reckless series was posted around 2021 and this new Gojo series I found was posted in 2023 (when I was already in my hiatus)#i’m just... this is so upsetting. i have been in love with jjk for so long but i won’t lie and say the fandom hasn’t given me problems :(#there always seems to be drama or issue going around... why can’t we just all enjoy reading x reader fics in peace#if its not hate anons or discourse it’s plagiarism. it’s tiring#this is one of the reasons why i moved fandoms after my jjk works. because i used to love it sm but i just felt stressed out#and imagine my shock when i saw my friend got plagiarized bcos no way you guys are doing this to someone who worked hard on a fic for YEARS#imagine my double shock when i see that writer’s page and see a similar work to mine too like 😭 c’mon guys. you guys have big brains.#you can write something juicy and awesome without ripping it off from others#and please do not send hate to this creator at all! that is not the intention of this post. i will also not be dropping any names.#now i’m aware i take inspos from other media too - i say it often that my fics take inspo from k-dramas or songs#but i take inspirations only. i do not copy the entire thing and then tweak one minor detail to make it ‘a little different’
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It's super late, but I wanted to do a quick "art vs artist" / summary of 2024 :] mostly long form animation and slugcat sketches this year, but I snuck in a few good ones.
#Idk how to tag this#art summary#Sure#Most of my art has been on mobile since I've been so sick#But when I actually pull myself up to draw on pc it makes me happy#Some of the art here I never even posted to this blog lol#I have that secondary blog I just shove all my more personal stuff into. It's fantastic. Wish I made it sooner#It's been a while since I did a life update... Hmm~. This is a blogging website after all#Well besides the aforementioned sickness that is getting very irritatingly bad#I've been tending to my even sicker family for a few months now. And it's... going. It's going. Exhausting but it's going#I've dropped a lot of responsibilities out of stress. I'll miss being a leader in my little miscellaneous internet cubbies#But life continues on with or without me 😺#My buds have been wonderful cheerleaders. I've even been reconnecting with some of my older friends#Still playing rw... albeit not competitively rn#I don't have the energy to chase those leaderboards 😓 and the community has left me a bit sour#But it's gotten a lot better. Acquaintances of mine gradually infiltrated the staff and made the place much livelier#It was a lot of fun to watch hahaha#Maybe I'll return to the scene sometime after the dlc drops... Maybe.#Or maybe I'll move on. Time will tell~#Till next time!
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not to keep harping on this but truly my fav thing about posting gifs on here is/was getting to read peoples' tags on them. and now there are so many sets floating around that i won’t get to see the notes on bc they’re not “my” posts anymore. really think that’s one of the most upsetting parts for me
and honestly it's really killing my motivation for posting in general! bc what if i eventually DO get my old blog back and then anything that i post here is "lost" to me in that way too!
#chatty kazzie#like i don’t post stuff for ‘clout’ i do it bc i like to read what people have to say#not exclusively but like. it’s my fav part#it's so important to me to maintain an archive of my stuff and so much is gone....#could barely enjoy bkc and i's nightly spn bc i'm so stressed out over this#like 'yayy spn! oh that reminds me of my lovingly curated spn blog that got fucking nerfed'#'yayyy pretty sammy! oh wait that reminds me of all the pretty sammy gifsets i made that i will not get notifications on anymore'#has me nervous i will not be able to move past this without putting spn on the back burner altogether tbqh. really hope that's not the case#like i feel like i'm stuck in fucking limbo and it's stressing me out so bad it's making me not even want to be here at all#but where the fuck else am i supposed to go.....
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life is so, so stressful right now. it's making me physically ill at times and i am doing my best to not let it seep into my relationship, bleed through here, and just tryna stay emotionally above waters. am i succeeding? probably not. that being said i might be a little slower (or perhaps the opposite bc i want a distraction) but regardless i imagine ooc / plotting / chatting might be even more inconsistent in the near future. apologies.
#&. ooc.#( might need a semi hiatus might not idk yet )#( i've even considered moving to a private blog for just the few i write with regularly )#( i'm just stressed and like... my skin is flaring up / losing hair :c small tw for medical stuff below )#( my physical health keeps declining bc my mental one )#( and my physical health was already questionable at best given i have a TUMOR they wont remove without me paying it all up front gjdfkgjd#( the tumor is the size of a new born btw )#( im just sad & tired & disappointed i wasnt born into generational wealth )
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Hello, beloved mutual! Since you are pennyposting again, maybe you should have a look at your strawpage inbox wink wink nudge nudge
HIIII :D
sprinted to my laptop and OMGGGGG

THE HARE SIBLINGS...... AWWAWAWAWA THANK YOU IM GOING TO CHEW ON THEMMM <3
#bnuuy and pnuuy.....#they have been neatly framed upon the gallery wall thank you very much <3#they have been. on my mind so much but i am Waiting to talk more about them until i have moved and can draw without stressing again lol#but alas. anyway. the hare siblings my beloved#always nice to hear from you :]#barschter000 asks...#euporie answers#fav
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Okay.....fine. maybe the drinking plot wasn't that bad. they mollified me with the poly moments. particularly the ending.
#max and Tristan showing concern for each other thank you#Max and Tristan showing still concern for Avery without competing over it thank you#doctor odyssey#i guess tbf they didn't go quite so far off the deep end as i was expecting#''oh he's sooooo drunk all the time suddenly'' kinda thing#but more like#yeah he can't go a day without a drink#and he likes to party a bit too much sometimes#and the current stress was moving him to drink More right then#but in general he wasn't ''clock off and immediately drink non stop until morning''#maybe would've gotten there eventually#but I'm glad they didn't fully say that's what he's definitely doing already#he is Not his dad#🩵 you good boo
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i ate a cupcake recently without first spending five minutes talking about how logistically stressful it is to eat a cupcake, so. i am capable of growth
#i just don't understand how you're supposed to do it without making a mess#why would someone design a food that seems like it is specifically impossible not to get smeared somewhere?#like just design it differently idk??? but everyone else seems to be fine with it so i guess it was a fine decision and i'm the problem#this time i didn't want to say anything about cupcakes being stressful to eat because i was being given a cupcake by the person#who had made the cupcakes and also it was her birthday. so. would have been kind of a dick move.#instead i just unwrapped the cupcake very slowly to give me time to observe how other people were eating theirs#and then i decided i didn't like their methods and did something else#this makes it sound like i've never seen someone eat a cupcake before or eaten one myself but i have many times#i just have never liked it. and i keep holding out hope that someday i'll see someone do it in a way that makes sense#i want someone to crack the code so i can just eat cupcakes. i don't think they're very interesting but it would behoove me socially#to be normal about cupcakes. since everyone else seems so into them for some reason#food#my posts#that said i do know the wrongest way to eat a cupcake and that's the way my younger sister does it (or used to do it)#which entails eating the entire wrapper as well as the cupcake#so in my quest for an acceptable way to eat a cupcake i have at least ruled out several including that one
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What i have learned in the past year is that i have a very strong preference for judges that let you set your dog on the table while they're assessing movement on the dog ahead. We have not been lucky so far this year 💀
#it just stresses me out when i dont have time to get her to land properly and get her legs under her without the judge and everyone#watching and waiting#and 50 other exhibitors complaining the sheltie judging is taking too long lol#every show i went to until this year this was the norm but#last few judges has insisted on moving the dog before the table bit#last one didnt even do that she just. didnt let you set up before#this and: tables set nearly all the way into the judges tent (gets really crowded)#tables with wobbly legs#tent roof/tarp set over the table when its windy so its fluttering right above the dogs ears#troj is steady on the table#by all means#but you try getting ur shelp to show ears when everything over and under them is going WOBBLEWOBBLEWOBBLE
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School is starting soon!! I can't believe I'm excited for the stressors of classes OURGH...
#ill be moving out of my parents house on the 13th. and be starting on the 19th! oh god. that's 9 days#i think im excited because it means i can finally LEAVE THE HOUSE#i hate being stuck in the house with very little to do and simply doom scroll. caged bird energy fr#(family restrictions. i loooovee those)#pros: freedom. cons: a lot less free time + stress + no birds#however. the pros genuinely outweigh the cons...i treasure my independence wayy too much! (except i will miss the feathered balls...)#but on another note. im excited for so many things! See my roommate. cook meals for myself. have actual privacy...yknow basic autonomy :D!#oh i can finally wear the clothes i like judgement free! and i can go places without curfews! and i can play my music outloud!#OH i can finally kick up my social activities again!!#this bird speaks#GAH!! so excited!!#this summer “vacation” was genuinely the worst overall#saving grace was Art Fight and the DD friends i've made ngl. so thanks yall huge hugs to yall!
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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something
#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch#too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun#no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point#trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this#WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time#my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me#my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job#i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time#i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again#and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed#delete later#i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want#ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you#i miss that i want that back#whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go
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anyway i cant be friends with neurotypical people and people that only interact with normal people because theyll look at me strangely when i tic in a store while my friends are just like "is this joanns fabrics overstimulating for you dawg"
#i think that if we're going to be friends#not only do you have to be cool with me ticcing/stimming#you have to be cool with me ticcing/stimming without me explaining it#i shouldnt HAVE to go 'i get stress tics/have some mystery tic disorder' or 'im autistic and need to get big feelings out'#the coolest people i know see me Move Strangely and straight dont react#actually the coolest people i know go 'you motherfucker your ticcing is setting off mine' but#also this is about u twi hi twi <3
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i am begging people to be less weird about whether or not i'm online/how quickly i'm replying to messages
i like want to make new friends online but this is just the reddest possible flag to me
#like there's the universal 'oh i sent a risky message so the longer it goes without a response the more stressed i get'#and 'oh i sent a message to a group chat that was moving at a pretty fast pace and now no one is responding'#like both of those are pretty valid reasons to be anxious about someone's reply speed#and even then i usually don't actually say anything to the parties concerned when i'm experiencing these things lol#but if you're a brand new internet friend and you keep making comments on my 'online' status on discord#and getting antsy if i'm showing as online but not responding right away#literally back off lol
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