#mr. mean

[dokonicamarinealsocamronmoxley]

So i heard of a mr. men adult book series that chaotic than the kid-friendly ones so here's some images

[paintedcrows]

Did anyone tell Ford (bonus doodles: Family Movie Night, 70s Classics)

[hiirenvirna]

really old joke format but hey. so is the tv

[next2hue]

help

[metamatronic]

William Discovers How Lizzie Died

william not knowing his robots were built to be murder machines is *so* funny to me.

[visplay]

Chris: Mr. Mean is an Italian action film with Fred Williamson, I sat down to watch a streaming Fred Williamson film and the first movie’s film quality was so low that I tried a second film which was also of unwatchable low film quality making Mr. Mean my third attempt, and the film quality was terribly low in this film with green Tron lines appearing randomly and it was filmed terribly with awful actors and a crappy plot, not a Fred Williamson film to watch, Avoid.

[ilions-end]

i've read several papers recently that try to concisely translate the potential meanings of odysseus' name (Man-of-Pain, Trouble, Hateman, Anger-Bringer, Suffering) but the one that still haunts me is Mr. Hater

[hira492]

I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY LIFE

[inkedberries]

what's up with that mr. little amirite?

[deputiized]

one big happy family (minus poob)

[ozdical]

thank you toby for making such great object head propaganda

[loveridden1999]

i really want to know what ties down mr. milchick's loyalty to lumon he's working day and night for various different departments he's tackling people he is getting bitten for them he's investigating on their behalf he's firing and rehiring people buying pineapples organising jazz and egg parties handling wrath confusion and curiosity in such a seamless manner why does he do all that is he simply a masochist or do they have something over him too

[haveihitanerve]

The comments were usual. Frequent even. Bruce bore them all with a smile, either acting like a bored teenager forced to attend the events he had planned, or blushing, sculpting the Brucie persona before he had even reached his twenties. 

“Oh Brucie!!!” They would twitter at him, women and men alike, pawing at his arms, his shoulders, chest, some even boldly reaching for his ass, snaking an arm around him, pulling him closer. “You look delicious baby.” They’d murmur, pur, coo over him. 

Alfred would get rightfully angry over the comments, when Bruce told him, but after the anger led to nothing, Bruce stopped coming home with the stories. He just went to bed, showering off all the handprints and touches. 

And then Dick came along.

“Bruuuuuuuuuce!” The nine year old whined, hissing the ending syllable like a snake. “I wanna gooooo!!!” Bruce chuckled lightly, fixing his cuffs in the mirror. 

“I highly doubt it chum.” He murmured, glancing over at his ward, seated on the foot of his bed. Dick pouted, the full package; lip out and arms crossed, and Bruce laughed, walking over to grab his tie and ruffle the boys hair. 

“Its a boring Gala, bud. Not too exciting.” Dick huffed, watching as Bruce expertly wound the tie around his neck, swinging the sides over and through. 

“Its a pARty!” He pointed out. “And I wanna go.” Bruce hummed to show he was listening, buttoning up the bottom two buttons of his suit, before letting his hands drop to his side. 

He sighed. “Do you want to wear a suit?” Dick’s eyes sparked up with excitement before he wrinkled his nose. 

“Do I hafta?” He complained. Bruce laughed, turning to face him. 

“Yes. Its a formal event. Suit, or you’re not coming.” The threat of a suit made the words take a moment to sink in, but once they did Dick rocketeded across the room, flying into Bruce’s arms. 

“For real???” He squealed, all excitement and little kid energy. “Hell yeah!” He bolted out the door to his own room before Bruce could so much as open his mouth to chide “language.” 

The car ride over was a new level of annoyance Bruce didn't know existed, as Dick bounced around in his seat, eagerly looking out the window for the first glimpse of his first “real adult party”. Still, he couldn't help but smile at Dick's unbridled joy.  

Hank, Bruce’s chauffeur, bore all of it with a smile, regaling Dick with stories of picking up Bruce when he was a teenager, and all the college hell, while Dick cackled and Bruce rolled his eyes. But, then again, Hank had his own three kids at home, and was marginally more used to the watts of energy than Bruce was. 

“Here ya are Mr. Wayne.” Hank finally cut off all of Dick’s peppering questions about Bruce’s college stories, a relief, as Hank was really getting into the bad stuff, or in Dicks mind, the good stuff, and Bruce hopped out, opening the door for his son. “Thank you!” Dick twittered as he leapt out, waving. 

Hank chuckled, dipping his hat. “Of course Mr. Wayne, hope you have a fun night.” Dick grinned back, and it surprised Bruce that he was so okay with hank calling him “Wayne.” But, then again, his boy and the driver seemed to have an easier relationship. Bruce certainly wasn't going to call him out. 

It did something to him, flooded his body with something heavy and warm, to hear Dick be called “Wayne”. Maybe a primal thing, an old animal instinct, the need to claim and own and have Dick. Dick was his son, maybe not by blood, but by… everything and anything Dick allowed him to have. 

“B!” Dick chirped, already a few feet up the steps, a frown on his face as he looked back. Bruce realized he’d been lost in thought at the side of the road. 

“Coming chum.” He agreed quickly, hurrying to his wards side before the entered. 

“Woah.” Dick breathed, the second they breached the door, and Bruce silently agreed. Gala’s weren’t fun for a plethora of reasons, but they were always beautiful. 

Almost immediately though, camera’s swarmed him, not only flashes of light but also of sickeningly white teeth, too wide mouths, pale skin pawing for his attention. 

“Brucie, darling!!!” One man twittered, and they successfully separated them, dragging Bruce over to one gaggle of rich twats while a few others circled Dick. Dick seemed to be taking it remarkably well, nodding politely and smiling, shaking hands, but his eyes darted to Bruce every few seconds, questions in his eyes. 

“Excuse me-” Bruce brushed past his virus of people and forced his way beside Dick, kneeling so he was at eye level.

“Everything alright?” he murmured quietly, tucking Dick into his space, warding off others. He almost wanted to say “i told you so” but figured it’d only do more harm than good. Pointing it out when Dick was clearly overwhelmed would not be helpful, or nice in any capacity. 

Dick nodded, shoulders imperceptibly dropping in relief as he allowed himself to be caged by Bruce’s body. “Y-yeah. Fine. Better now.” Bruce let the unspoken words hang between them, “-that you’re here”, and nodded instead, standing. 

“Stay close.” he flicked his fingers and Dick obediently stepped closer, pushing into Bruce’s space with hardly a thought.

And, Bruce realized quietly, he didn't mind either. Having people in his space… touch had never been his thing, after his parents death. Especially not when that touch came from unsympathetic elites after his parents money. But with Dick… it was, easier. Nice. 

The rest of the night went by a little better, and Dick even stepped away a few feet, always close by, but straying enough that he wasn't hiding behind Bruce’s legs. In his shadow. It was then that it happened. 

“Oh aren’t you just beautiful.” The words came from Mrs. Braught, a well known widow with enough wealth to compete with the Drakes, if not Waynes. She was… known for her affinity to younger men, boys, really, and Bruce had only managed to not make the cut because he had known, as a boy, and avoided her, and wasn’t as “appealing” to her, due to his depression. 

Dick stiffened slightly at the words, but still offered her a smile, polite, as always. The reaction made Bruce relax marginally. He was okay, he was handling it, just like Bruce had. 

But… but Dick’s smile was strained, his shoulders inching near his ears, and there was a definite tilt to him, a lean away from Braught that was easy to miss. But not to Bruce. 

Before he knew what he was doing, Bruce was at his wards side- no, in front of him, shoving Dick behind his legs. Dick stumbled, lightly, at the sudden push, but quickly straightened, grabbing the back of Bruce’s coat. The trembling Bruce could feel through the fabric was enough to make him see red. 

The Brucie persona was gone, slipping off without a singe thought, fast enough that Bruce wondered for a fraction of a second if it had even been on when he had entered the Gala, and Bruce realized it wasn't just Dick’s hand trembling, but Bruce’s whole body. 

His fists curled, hard enough that his knuckles turned white, jaw clenched to the point where his teeth squeaked, entire body quivering with rage. 

Mrs. Braught glanced up, surprised, almost caught off guard even, as she realized Brucie Wayne wasn't there for a pleasant hello, but Bruce was there, a man- no, a father, furious at what was being said about his son. 

Bruce could hear, faintly, as though through water, people beginning to whisper, eyes wide as the elites gathered around, no one bold enough to step in, and no one truly believing Brucie would do anything. 

Bruce didn't care. Dick was his, and he would not allow the traumas of the past to repeat, though he had failed to stop him from being orphaned. No more. He vowed, hands fisting at his sides. He had failed Dick in the one, true way that mattered, keeping his family, but he would not fail him any other way. Not in the ways Bruce was failed. 

His hand began to move back on its own accord, when a tiny, stubborn hand caught it, grabbed his wrist. Bruce looked down in surprise to find Dick staring up him solemnly, shaking his head.

Before Bruce could say something, another woman, another widow Bruce recognized as Mrs. Kershaw, stepped forward, fire bright in her weathered eyes. 

“You go on and git out of here Gertrude, before I tar your hide.” She hissed, and Bruce recalled how her own daughter had been raped and murdered when she had been barely thirteen. Gertrude knew it too, and backed away, scurrying for the exit. Mrs. Kershaw made sure she left, eyes kind when she glanced at Bruce, a subtle nod of solidarity her only acknowledgement. 

Dick tugged on his hand, but Bruce ignored him, sending a viscous glare at anyone who dared step too close. 

“Dad.” Dicks voice was soft, so soft, but proud too, grateful. That finally dragged Bruce from his never ending anger, and he looked down. Down at those wide blue eyes, that head of messy black curls.

“Come on Dad.” Dick whispered quietly, eyes darting around nervously at all the people, the cameras, but always going back to Bruce. Meeting his eyes. 

Bruce bent down and scooped his son into his arms, uncaring of who saw, who cared. He blocked his son off from the world, heading for the exit, one of the waitstaff, Aisha, nodding at him to inform him Hank had been called. 

“Thanks Dad.” Dick murmured, face buried against Bruce’s neck, and Bruce’s arms tightened around him, heading out into the streets of Gotham with his son cradled to his chest. 

“I’ll always protect you chum.” He swore, and something in his heart lightened at the Justice he was doing for his son, but also for his younger self. “I will always protect you.” 

thanks to @frownyalfred and @astorianyxkings for the idea!

[littlelightfish]

Them <3

[bennetsbonnet]

I've seen it posited that Mr Darcy didn't actually mean to be cruel to Elizabeth with the comment he made about her at the Meryton assembly. That Darcy just didn't like dancing that much and a lady would have to really be something for him to overcome his discomfort in social situations and dance with her. And you know, Elizabeth wasn't as good-looking as Jane and improved upon acquaintance, so that explains why she couldn't 'tempt him.'

People really tie themselves into knots trying to defend him or go on quests to find hidden meanings in his words that simply aren't there. They convince themselves that he didn't mean for her to hear, or that he just misspoke... but really it was all a big misunderstanding! He's just a sweet shy boy with social anxiety who made a little social oopsie...

That's very nice and all, but that's demonstrably not the character that Jane Austen wrote. In the novel, Darcy's intention is unequivocal. I think that a lot of the misinterpretation stems from adaptations... because each one I've watched has never quite got it spot on.

I am b e g g i n g for just one book-accurate depiction of the insult Mr Darcy very deliberately aims towards Elizabeth at the Meryton assembly because I think the consistent misrepresentation of this single moment has caused so much misunderstanding of Mr Darcy's character. The interaction is so important for grasping his motivation and character at the beginning of the novel.

It's absolutely vital to the story to grasp that Elizabeth doesn't inadvertently overhear his insult. She isn't looking for gossip or drama and then overhears this poor, socially awkward 🥺smol bean🥺 who chooses his words poorly and accidentally affronts her.

No, Elizabeth is sitting there, minding her business... when this rude, conceited and thoroughly unpleasant man insults her in a manner which leaves her under no illusion that he intended for her to hear him:

Elizabeth Bennet had been obliged, by the scarcity of gentlemen, to sit down for two dances; and during part of that time, Mr. Darcy had been standing near enough for her to hear a conversation between him and Mr Bingley... ... 'You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,' said Mr Darcy, looking at the eldest Miss Bennet. 'Oh! She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you.' 'Which do you mean?' and turning round he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said: 'She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men.'

It could not be more unambiguous that Darcy both knows that Elizabeth can hear him and intends for her to know he wouldn't degrade himself by dancing with the likes of her...

AND YET... it is so frequently represented as Elizabeth somehow simultaneously being miles away from Mr Darcy, yet still close enough to hear... but not close enough for him to see her and know she's listening... because he never catches her eye before he says it and that allows the doubt to seep in! It's so frustrating.

Still, even though no adaptation has quite captured Darcy's unambiguous intent and featured him looking at her, his words are more than bad enough to make you dislike him! I don't think you could reasonably ever defend them, unless you secretly hate Elizabeth Bennet... but more than what he says, it's the manner in which he delivers him, the way Darcy deliberately makes sure she has heard him that is so callous. If that aspect is missing it makes Elizabeth's prejudice against him less comprehensible and leads to a man who absolutely does not deserve to be defended being excused for his awful behaviour...

[appropriatelystupid]

The Road changes for the Coven.