you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
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i know that folks from the west are not easily giving into support for palestine because “well israeli civilians dont deserve to die, stop being a dick by cheering for this”
and listen. we understand that very well. we cannot cheer for innocent people losing their lives. but we wouldnt BE here today if this were something that could have been sorted out over a negotiation
netanyahu just last week, w a disgusting ass smug face made it clear at the UN GA that he was redrawing the map of the middle east. he was literally there with a board and a marker pen, shamelessly redrawing a map of israel over palestine. people fucking clapped. there is video footage, goo look at it.
and that’s just what the west is seeing. what the west has been conveniently ignoring, or worse, supporting, is the apartheid in palestine for the past 100 years. what is happening in israel today, theyve been doing exactly that and Worse for a century in palestine.
any both sides argument misses the fucking point because it ignores a whole history of how theyve fucked over the palestinian people. not just outright killing their people but also stealing land and resources and redirecting them to the israeli cause.
but the west doesn’t actually give a fuck about arab countries or its people, in fact actively funds genocide. so eat your shitass opinion about not celebrating the one time palestinians have managed to look like a threat.
as hopeful as we are, we know israel is too powerful and has the west as its ally. but this is what palestinian journalist had to say about it “they have decided to fight and die on their feet, rather than just die on their knees”
another journalist reporting from gaza said “well the people in gaza are used to airstrikes of this kind so they have a standard protocol on how to evacuate and know when to give up, and go down together as a family”
let the enormity of those statements sink in, and then maybe you can fucking talk about both sides.
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Does Hed help Les with grooming his back?
This is a really old ask about this post. And the answer is yes, definitely!
I ended up drawing them back in their room in Vibe City because I've been thinking a lot about them growing up there lately. This is a little before Les gets kicked out (big fight with dad) and they end up traveling around with Flea who is at uni at this point. (Flea isn't a local, he moved there because of uni a couple of years prior, and that's when Les and Hed met him. He is the only other mixed/non-fully funk troll they know at that point.)
In the drawing Hed is studying for a test. He's in the second year of high school when he drops out. This upsets and angers Les because he has good grades but Hed insists that they should form a band (like they used to talk about when younger) because he is secretly shit scared of letting Les live alone and fuck off to who knows where. - At this point in time Vibe City is pretty much grounded in the same location most of the time, and if Les doesn't have work, he likes to spend his time in the suburb/woods outside the city where he takes care of his beetle van, Scaab. And Hed is aware Les has been itching to leave the city for a while already...
This has been an unexpected mini lore dump, thank you for your time :P
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by the way happy trans day of visibility to all the trans systems out there :)
whether you’re a trans headmate or your whole system collectively identifies as trans, we’re out here, we’re beautiful, and we make both the trans community and the plural community more vibrant just by existing in these spaces.
keep moving and shaking things up. keep reaching for your goals and accepting yourselves unconditionally. keep creating and trying new things. keep unabashedly being yourselves. keep your chin up when things get tough. keep shining!
we know it’s not always easy, but we see you, we care about you, and we are so very proud of you. also, we believe in you and know that there are great things in store for you.
trans lives are magic. trans joy is eternal. we hope you can take some time to revel in your own majesty today. we love you. 💙💗🤍💗💙
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can you
fucking imagine
transmigrating to your own creation
finding out your most eccentric fucking hater is also there
and that said hater fucking seduced your protagonist
I would go insane
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You know what’s interesting? The fact that only nobles can be knights. Because that is what Gloreth wanted. Gloreth who played at a wishing well and who lived in a small village with farmers. Gloreth, who was almost certainly not a noble. Was she trying to avoid another Nimona, someone who came out of ‘nowhere’, and thus must be a monster? Or was it someone else, who further twisted her cruel ideology for their own agenda?
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