#mutual pining is my shit

[trashlie]

Love your thoughts on ep 231 ohmygod you (and poisonheart) summed everything up perfectly! What I would like to add for your consideration is that it feels like Nol indirectly projects his own fears about his situation with Shin-ae when he talks about Dieter. And it doesn't take away from his empathy for Dieter or his guilt, it's another layer for us readers to pick up on. "Those feelings take forever to vanish" and "it doesn't help that you spend time with him" and "all [stringing him along and being wishy-washy] does is prolong the pain" -- Nol fears this might happen to him if Shin-ae keeps insisting there's nothing between them, or if she rejects him and wants to stay "just friends". And it's obvious that he is absolutely not willing to go through that, not on top of everything else he's already dealing with. Dieter might be okay with being "just friends", that's his choice, but Nol knows he cannot take that same route. He doesn't have the willpower to swallow all his feelings and pretend like he's fine with being "just friends", especially when all the signs that she has similar feelings for him are there. That would be unbearable. I believe that is where, maybe just subconsciously, part of his frustration and this urgency, but also his resolution and "all in"-mindset come from. His options are just really limited.

Also. It needs to be said that Nol pushing Shin-ae to find the answer on her own instead of giving it to her was probably the best thing he could do. He gave her a lot to think about and evaluate when he implied that their shared moment was romantic and that Dieter also thinks that, and pointed out that it's him who she has a special connection with and not Dieter, that "because we're friends" doesn't explain her actions and behavior (and feelings) anymore. And then he topped it all off with the "convince me" and The Look™ (which I believe was a calculated move) that made her blush and avert her eyes for the 274th time in the past couple of hours, to really drive home that whatever this is, it doesn't fit the term "platonic" anymore. What is it then, to her? That's something she has to realize herself. It's not for him to tell her, to explain it to her. It's actually crazy that by rejecting her "we're friends" answer and kicking her out, he essentially said "come back when you've figured out that you're in love with me" LIKE. SCREAMS. People are saying he should've just told her how he feels, but... Time and place. What good would that even do when she's mad at him and still so stuck on the friendship thing? She's in no way prepared to hear a confession from him. It'd overwhelm and confuse her. And what kind of response would she even give in the state she's in, realistically? That'd be so messy and YELLS some people simply cannot appreciate the TENSION THE ANGST THE SUBTEXT ALL THE THINGS UNSPOKEN IN THE AIR BETWEEN THEM like come on we can have lil a miscommunication as a treat, especially when it fits the narrative… Y'all are gonna get your fluffy moments soon enough, let us enjoy the PAIN so that the payoff is much sweeter. GAH.

YELLS some people simply cannot appreciate the TENSION THE ANGST THE SUBTEXT ALL THE THINGS UNSPOKEN IN THE AIR BETWEEN THEM like come on we can have lil a miscommunication as a treat

YOU GET IT ANON YOU GET IT YOU ABSOLUTELY GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am screaming from the roof I am hanging off the gutters screaming YOU FUCKING GET IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Like, on some level I understand why people want to rush to a certain point want to jump to confirmations but to me IT'S NOT READY WE'RE NOT READY. I am into PINING I am into YEARNING I need a man to become VERY PATHETIC about the girl he likes I need him to writhe in agony over what he wants I need conflict I need the embarrassing realization about a character's feelings i need them blushing in the dark all alone with their stomach twisting up their heart rustling with all the butterflies trying to break out of their rib cage. I need them meeting and averting gazes and feeling so on display and so vulnerable and RAW i need them EMBARRASSED that they have feelings GROSS EWW HOW DID THIS HAPPEN i need subconcious dreams i need toes curling i need the want the want the WANT holding back bUT BARELY HOLDING BACK

I need tension SO GOOD SO DELECTABLE i'm bouncing off the walls and ceilings like a todder who just ate their way through all the sugar in the house. i need LOADED moments that make me throw down my phone i need the subtext!!!!!!!! I need to inject it in my veins and shriek like a banshee WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE WANT TO SKIP THIS PART WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO JUST JUMP TO THE NEXT PART THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF THIS IS! WHAT! ROMANCES ARE MADE OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's the things that lead up to it, it's the build up, it's the WANTING to crush them together the DYING FOR IT TO HAPPEN.

but anyway

lemme pretend to be normal about this for a bit

I think what's soooooo good about the subtext is YES all those things unsaid. That as much as Nol is speaking on Dieter's behalf - he speaks on his own. It's not that Shinae needs to figure out her feelings for Dieter's sake but for his own, too, because RIGHT because she is too important to him now THIS is too important it means too much and he WANTS IT TOO MUCH to be wishy wash to be half-assed to be either or not. And that's what is SO GOOD to me. He IS scared. He needs her to come to the realization, to face the truth and embrace it because he needs it to be true. He needs to know what he suspects is true.

scales the walls i'm sorry i lied i CAN'T BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS I CANNOT BE NORMAL ABOUT THEM ANYMORE

He doesn't have the willpower to swallow all his feelings and pretend like he's fine with being "just friends", especially when all the signs that she has similar feelings for him are there. That would be unbearable.

Nol has spent so much of his time trying to close himself off, to isolate himself and to just seal himself away and then here's Shinae, mirroring him, chasing him down and trying to pull him out of every hole he tries to hide himself in. She is beating down his doors she is telling him at every opportunity that she loves him that he is important that she can't throw this all away.

And we've established before: Nol can't resist her. At all!!!!! He tries and he fails at every time. He tries to block her away but he still leaves her these openings. Like, he blocked her number but he STILL LOOKED AT HIS SPAM knowing what kind of message would be in there.

He tells himself he doesn't want it doesn't deserve it but he DOES. He LIKES that she cares. He LIKES that she sees him. He tried to make himself not care, but he wants it. He WAS disappointed when Shinae left after the dance - because he pushed her away again, because her hurt her again. He's so afraid of losing her at this point (I'm sure that's part of why he couldn't look at her at the time - not just that he was crying and doesn't want to be seen like that, but he must be scared, afraid that after he leaves this will all disappear she'll change her feelings it won't mean anything anymore) and when he pulled off the blindfold she was gone.

It's like.... kind of like Shinae says - they've been through so much together. But because he's aware of those feelings now - because he knows what she means to him, he CAN'T go back. Going back to just friends? After she's pushed for him after she's fought for him after she's boxed down his walls?

How can he go back to it? HOW?

Shinae made him open up, too. He has revealed so much more to her than I think he's revealed to others. Alyssa probably knows more about his life than Soushi and Dieter, but I think he's revealed more to Shinae. She made him care and how can go back to being "just friends".

Usually I hate that argument but in his case, I get it. Shinae is so important to him, means so much (HE LITERALLY IS ALIVE BECAUSE OF HER AT THIS POINT) and to go back to just.... not feeling this? To being just friends? We've watched him reach out to her SO MANY TIMES and deny himself. And now that he has? Now that he's reached out now that he has felt these things? It would be so unbearable!

What is it then, to her? That's something she has to realize herself. It's not for him to tell her, to explain it to her. It's actually crazy that by rejecting her "we're friends" answer and kicking her out, he essentially said "come back when you've figured out that you're in love with me" LIKE. SCREAMS.

GOD I KNOW I KNOW I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOW SCREAMS AND SCURRIES UP THE WALL AGAIN

I LOVE that he's leaving it to her. I fully think Shinae has been, partly, influenced by Dieter's feelings for her. Would she have started to feel anything for him if she didn't know he already likes her? Would she have seen anything in the way he looks at her if she didn't know it already? And I FULLY think Nol confessing at this time would have made things worse - it would confuse her! And I think it would probably make her avoid him. I don't think she'd be able to handle it if he confessed because she doesn't even know her own feelings, let alone how to handle his. And BECAUSE his feelings are intricately tied to hers in relation to what Dieter oversaw it would absolutely influence her own feelings.

She's got to be able to come to this realization herself because, frankly, she's been confessing to him ALL fucking night long. She keeps telling him how important he is to her, what he means to her! But she doesn't understand WHY he's important to her. She doesn't understand WHY she's putting all her energy into hanging on to him, into tethering him to her. And as much it's not fair to Dieter, it's also not fair to Nol, either, for those confused feelings to go on all tangled up. But likewise, Nol IS telling her how he feels, too - just, you know. Subtextually.

Comparing their relationship to Dieter's to illuminate just how different they, how much more intense theirs is compared to what she has with Dieter. That fucking LINE the "not even as friends" ;______; It's about the way she elevates Nol above him, the way she will drop everything for him. He knows it! Dieter can see it! But she can't see it for what it is yet and he needs her to. He keeps showing her what he feels by telling her what Dieter saw. That it wasn't just platonic - not from him. She's so insistent it didn't mean anything that it's not romantic even though HE WAS LOOKING AT HER LIKE THAT. HE WAS COMMANDING HER TAKE OFF HER SHOES LIKE THAT. She was getting SO WORKED UP about that moment!!!!!! THIS MAN ASKED HER TO DANCE IN THE MOST INTENSE FUCKING WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SHE IS CONVINCED IT'S SO PLATONIC JUST

JUST FUCKING

/SCREAMS/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thinking about it from Dieter's POV is really NUTS, too, because he sees the things Shinae doesn't know how to identify. Even before the whole dancing thing (the idea of DIETER seeing the Shinae that Nol didn't, seeing how happy she was, how much fun she was having), thinking about like.... it really starts when Shinae gives him her gift, right? She gets SO EMBARRASSED - SO SHY about him seeing it and she thinks it's so simple and that it can't compare bUT IT DOES. It's a call back to their early days, the whole "you don't suck that much" akjakfkafkjafjkafkjfkjfa THE WAY WE DON'T SEE HIS EYES WE JUST SEE HIM LOOK OVER AT HER SO SHY TRYING NOT TO TAKE NOTICE and then suddenly he's just. OVERCOME. He's reaching out he's touching her hair!!!!!!!!!!! She isn't even pulling away!!!!!!!! He's leaning in they're so close they're just IN EACH OTHER'S SPACE and imagine it from his POV, how he's seeing it, that chemistry that just EXISTS between them, that intimacy and tenderness that's just LOADED and how he can probably feel it so heavy in the pit of his stomach because could he ever be so bold? No, never. Could he reach out and touch her like that? Encroach on her space? Sit so close to her? The flirting with the finger dancing and their giggles and the ease they're just SO EFFORTLESS and he doesn't have that and he knows it and he's known all along but now he has to ACCEPT it now he has to face the reality that everything he worried about everything he feared is true that there's no room for him in between them there and LJFAKKFKAFLAFKJAF

IT'S SO INSANE that she's just like BUT IT WAS JUST FRIENDS

There's nothing "friends" about that babes and Nol knows it and Dieter knows it and we know it but SHE needs to come to the conclusion. She needs to wake up and realize that oh my god that's why it all matters that's what it all means that's why she's fighting so hard that's why he's so important. And then being able to see all the things he said to her between the lines, what it meant for Dieter to oversee that I just

ROARS JUST SCREAMS FROM THE ROOFTOP

I'm SO glad Nol hasn't confessed! It would be SO messy! It would make things so much worse it would hurt so much for EVERYONE. She's gotta sort out her feelings! Nol is really good at reading her, and he knows how to push her in the right direction. It's not the right time. I think maybe people who want him to confess don't see it that way - that it would be so overwhelming and probably scare her off. i mean, even coming to the realization on her own will probably give her a scare, but it's different when she realizes that oh, I'M in love with him AS WELL as oh god HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME? compared to him confessing and leaving her feeling even more confused

like don't get me wrong there's a part of me that likes to imagine him just BREAKING and bursting out that "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, OKAY! IT DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING TO ME" but I do prefer the canon. That's just good for a nice moment of imagined dramatics, you know?

But also. YEAH. We just. We need to RIDE OUT SOME NICE YEARNING AND FEELINGS AND ANGST FIRST. I'm pretty sure it won't last. Quimchee doesn't like drawing these things out and Shinae's confused feelings are a clear subversion of "girl does not realize she's in love" so I am confident the truth is going to hit her, but until then I want to enjoy the writhing and the ache!!!! Because that's what makes it SO MUCH BETTER when they can finally admit it!!!!!!! Where's the fun in jumping right to it? I want to SAVOR this so that when they can admit it, when they can say the words, when they can face the reality, it feels SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!! There's so much RELIEF!!!!!!!

I'm fully certain we'll see that before Nol goes to jail - the whole of this confrontation would mean NOTHING if he leaves while things are unresolved. The entirety of this whole ovearching arc of his return would be undone and leave us right back where we were, with no resolution, no one knowing where they stand. So like. Come on guys, it's coming just sit back and enjoy this ride a bit. When you think about it we haven't even been in this stage long! Like WE've been watching them fall in love this whole time, we've been watching them find a home in each other, we've been watching their souls come together intertwine and connect and imprint but THEY haven't sat with this long at all. Nol ONLY JUST REALIZED he has feelings.

HE HASN'T PINED YET AND I NEED HIM TO PINE I NEED HIM TO BE A LIL PATHETIC ABOUT HER I NEED HIM TO WRING HER HEADBAND AROUND IN HIS HANDS A LIL MORE AND SQUIRM WITH ALL THESE THOUGHTS THAT HE KEEPS TRYING TO FIGHT OUT OF HIS BRAIN THAT WON'T GO AWAY

I need Shinae to have an awakening dream about all the subtext all the things unsaid all the subconscious feelings she isn't aware of creeping in and if involves them kissing then WHO AM I TO SAY NO?

I cannot be normal anymore I'm sorry but I AM going to be unhinged and scream about them AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[wonusite]

fuckbuddy!shua who has been liking you secretly since the start of your affair. like, you think it's just pure lust for him whenever you fuck but to him, it's to prove his love for you. and then he doesn't know that you like him too. you're both thinking that it's one-sided so you decided to just stop seeing each other. two weeks passed, you meet at both of your friend's party obviously missing each other. catching up that ends up confessing to each other. looking into each other's eyes, you both know what you wanted so just both snapped and went upstairs to find a room and fuck each other all night. shua whispering into your ear how much miss filling up your cunt with his cum.

-tulip🌷

accidentally made this into a short drabble oops. 🤡

You don’t know why you thought keeping your distance from Josh would make your feelings go away. Now that you’re standing in Jihoon’s living room with him staring at you from the other side of the room, you know the distance you kept from him is all in vain. At some point, Joshua pulls you aside to talk to you alone, and you very willingly let him drag you to a more secluded place. Fuck. You missed the feeling of his larger hand holding your own.

The conversation is light and casual at first, but at some point, he starts telling you how much he’s missed you. You only focus on his pretty, shining eyes and how sincere they look.

“I like you.”

You both stare at each other, wide eyed. It’s clear that neither of you were expecting the confession (despite being the one to say it), but now it’s out there and unable to be taken back. You almost run away from the embarrassment, but then Josh is smashing his lips on yours, unable to hold back the need he’s been feeling for you.

Somehow, you find an empty room and collapse on the bed, lips not separating from each other. He slowly undresses you, telling you how long he’s yearned for you and wanted you for himself. You feel your heart pound and your pussy throb at his words.

Josh loves the gasp you let out when he slides his cock inside you. He feels like he can come from the feeling of your hot cunt wrapped around him. God, how he missed you. To have you this way again makes a carnal desire consume him. Josh starts fucking into you roughly, loving how your tight walls clamp down on him with every thrust.

“Fuck, baby. I missed you so fucking bad.”

You can only mewl in response, too far gone on the feeling of his thick cock splitting you open. The angle he’s fucking you at is making you see stars, and you don’t give a fuck if the entire party can hear your moans. All you can focus on is how good you feel.

“Gonna fill you up.” Josh groans as he sees your cream coating his cock. “So everyone knows you’re mine.”

You know you’re in for a long night, and you can’t wait.

[stevebabey]

@scooprtroopr ur tags on this post inspired a lil something and well, here you go friend <3 / also omg this fits for @steddie-week’s prompt pining! tehe / you can also read it over on ao3 :)

Steve gets that this is how karma works.

You do something bad, you don’t have the best intentions, you trample on one or two people’s feelings selfishly, yadda yadda. Then what do you know? Next month, it’s happening to you. What goes around comes around, right?

That’s how karma works. Steve gets that.

And yet, the sting in the morning when another hookup has crept out in the night feels so goddamn unshakeable. It slices through his ego, hitting every feeling on the way, and cuts right down the bone, and it hurts.

But it’s karma though, Steve knows that. He’s left a girl more than once or twice, and snuck back out the window he had crept into. Stumbled back to his car in the early morning hours.

(Steve pointedly ignores the old part of him that was- is so hesitant to stay — after the iciness of his first ever hookup, who had wrinkled her nose at the thought of him staying the night.

Who had patted him on the cheek in a near condescending way, a girl the year above him, and said, “Don’t overstay your welcome, yeah?”)

So when the other side of the bed is empty when he wakes, he knows he’s lost another game of ‘who can sneak out on who?’

Which Steve hates — it’s why he stopped going over to his dates house and instead started bringing them back to his. Hoping they might read that his invitation to stay the night extended right out til breakfast. Hell, til lunch if they wanted.

No one has come close to overstaying their welcome in the Harrington house.

Empty sheets rip a new ache in Steve’s chest and he groans, a pitiful noise because— of course, he hasn’t stayed.

Karma has the biggest bone to pick with Steve Harrington and he was really hoping it would be done after all these years. Evidently not.

But… Steve can’t help how much more this one hurts because this one was Eddie.

Steve tries to not let regret coil in his gut. Rolling over he buries his face into his pillow, eyes scrunched shut as he tries to think it over logically. Rationally. Ignores the burning in his throat.

Maybe he’s a fool for thinking Eddie would be different from the past.

But the buildup — before there had been flirting, there had been friendship, proper company between the two of them where there were no expectations. That may very well be due to the fact both of them were dudes but… Steve was so sure. So much of him believed Eddie would still be here when he woke up.

Steve huffs a loud sigh into the pillow. Pretends his chest doesn’t hurt a little bit.

“It’s fine,” He murmurs to himself, voice thick with sleep. His fists clench into the sheets for a moment. “It’s fine.”

He drags himself up and out of bed. Tugs on some stray sweats hanging over the back of his desk chair and ducks into the bathroom. Staring in the mirror, hair tousled and eyes still sleepy, Steve eyes the shower through the reflection. He should, probably, but he might get stuck on a loop in there.

Where did he go wrong this time? Why didn’t he stay? Why didn’t any of them stay? Why did—

Steve splashes cold water on his face instead, rubbing probably a bit too forcefully at his eyes. He spies the faint pink shape of Eddie’s lips, a mark left on his neck. His fingers grace over it lightly, softly, like a lover would.

Memories hazed with lust remind him of how it had got there, Eddie’s body on his, Eddie’s hands in his hair, Eddie— without thinking, Steve scrubs at the skin harshly. He wishes it wasn’t there. Wishes there wasn’t any remnant of Eddie left behind.

Steve doesn’t need any mementos to remind him he’s been left behind again.

He needs food, needs to get on with his day, Steve decides. The bathroom door swings closed behind him and Steve tries his best to wrangle his thoughts as he wanders out to the top of the stairs.

A run. That’s what he needs to clear his head. A long run til his heart is pounding in his chest so hard it hurts, til his muscles start burning, breathes coming too fast and his head is finally fucking quiet. Yep, that’s precisely what he needs to shake the sting of last night.

Steve’s so enwrapped in his head, thoughts swirling, that he get manages to get halfway down the hall to the kitchen before he hears the radio. It’s not loud, just enough to carry out the kitchen. Strange. He doesn’t remember leaving it on last night.

His feet carry him into the kitchen, another yawn creeping up and he rubs at his eyes, blinking a bit blearily and— and stops in his tracks. There’s someone at the stove.

Eddie’s at the stove.

Standing in the morning sunlight, hair lighter than ever, puckered scars along his arms standing out. He’s clearly ransacked Steve’s drawers, a pair of Steve’s plaid pj pants hanging low on his hips, his own softened band tee from yesterday still on. It’s had its sleeves hacked off, the fabric curling up into little rolls. Steve feels his stomach rise halfway up his throat, his hopes going with it. His heart does a strange stumbling pitter-patter.

He must make a noise because suddenly Eddie’s peaking over his shoulder and smiling at him.

“Hey,” Eddie says, shifting a bit to turn more toward him. Steve can see that he’s cooking, something delicious wafting up from the sizzling pan. His chest tightens, pure surprise wrapping around his sternum and gripping - so much, he can’t control the expression on his face.

“Hi,” Steve breathes. He’s still frozen where he is. He stayed. Steve blinks, taking in the scene before him; Eddie has clearly been puttering around, putting together some sort of breakfast. He fucking stayed and he’s cooking.

Eddie takes it the wrong way. He skittishly looks over the benches, covered in his mess, and tugs on the ends of his hair nervously. “I- it’s a mess, I know, I’m real sorry. I was gonna clean it, I just thought you might like…”

He trails off, unable to get a read on Steve’s expression. Steve doesn’t blame him but he can’t fucking stop his chest from feeling like it’s being pulled open, his heart from feeling like it’s soaring. He huffs an awed laugh, a smile curling at his lips.

Eddie deflates a bit in his relief, giving his own smile. He turns back to the stove quickly, giving the skillet a bit of a shake to keep it from burning and Steve draws closer, feet finally moving. Eddie watches him from the corner of his eye, barely biting back his grin as Steve gets closer. He hovers, feels the heat of Eddie’s back they’re so close.

He tries to feel brave — he stayed — and keeps his closeness, peering over Eddie’s shoulder at the skillet on the stove. It’s the Munson Special that Eddie’s cooked a few times for him over at the trailer; eggs, potatoes, shit tons of cheese, maybe a vegetable if he’s feeling healthy.

“Was gonna bring it to you in bed, but,” Eddie laughs, still tinged in nervousness. He sets down the spatula to tuck his hair behind both ears, glancing sideways at Steve as if trying to understand his silence.

He stayed and he cooked and he’s nervous. Steve thinks he might be holding his breath in disbelief, head dizzy with relief. With affection.

Very slowly, Steve’s hands move and, like he’s waiting for Eddie to flinch away, settles then very gently onto Eddie’s waist. His fingers curl into the soft fabric and Eddie makes a little chirp of happiness and leans back.

Leans into Steve a bit, like he wants his touch the morning after everything and Steve releases a shuddering breath, hooking his chin over Eddie’s shoulder. His hands grow a little more bold, sliding around to hug him around the middle.

Eddie’s cheeks have turned pink and his grin hasn’t faltered.

“Made me—” Steve starts, but his voice is a bit raspy. He clears his throat, avoids Eddie’s burning stare. “Y’made me breakfast?”

Eddie nods, his curls brushing against Steve’s cheek as he does. His tummy is warm beneath Steve’s hand and his hair smells good and Steve just wants to burrow into him- he tucks himself closer and is rewarded with a content noise from Eddie.

“That’s not weird, is it?” Eddie asks suddenly, picking up the spatula again and beginning to fiddle needlessly with the food. He flips it once, then again, so it’s on the same side as it was before.

He sounds a bit sheepish when he says, “I’m not sure- I haven’t ever really— I’m actually just gonna shut the hell up before I say anything stupid.”

Steve laughs quietly. His hands tighten around Eddie’s middle, head tilting so he can bury his grin into his shoulder— his heart is going haywire, going a million miles an hour, because karma is finally through with Steve Harrington and he gets to have this.

“S’not weird,” Steve mumbles. He thinks about pressing a kiss into Eddie’s shoulder.

“Ha, you said snot,” Eddie retorts with a childish snort and Steve can’t help it, he laughs at that too, muffled laughter into his t-shirt. Then he presses a kiss to Eddie’s shoulder, quick as lightning. Rests his chin back on it like nothing happened.

Eddie still stiffens just a bit- turns his head just a bit to glance at Steve and fuck, Steve can’t help the way his stomach swoops.

Because Eddie softens him unbearably with those nervous brown eyes, his pink lips twisted as he tries to hold back his grin. Steve’s beginning to understand that both of them seem equally surprised that this is happening.

Eddie’s free hand moves, pausing only briefly in a moment's hesitance, before it covers one of Steve’s on his tummy. It’s cold, much colder than Steve’s, and he covers it with one of his own instinctively.

Eddie’s trembling fingers give him a little squeeze. Steve thinks he must be able to feel how hard his heart is beating from where his chest is pressed against his back. It’s a lot to deal with; this perfect morning in the sun, the soft sound of the radio, the sweet boy in his arms.

They’re both grinning to themselves. Eddie focuses back on the food before him, doing all his work with one hand, and starts a little hum.

The radio switches to a love song.

[hairmetal666]

Read Part One here

cw: implied child abuse

Eddie's coming over for coffee. Not Eddie with Nancy and Robin or Eddie with the kids. Just Eddie.

They haven't been alone in 9 years and now Eddie is coming over for coffee.

They're friends, of course. After Vecna they didn't have much of a choice, but they've never talked about it--that they used to be something.

After Steve kissed Eddie goodbye for what turned out to be the last time, they didn't see each other again for months and months, except for a devastatingly fleeting moment in the Family Video parking lot. And the next time after that, Eddie's pinning him to the wall of a rickety boathouse, a broken bottle to his throat.

What's going through his mind, his body, at that moment is relief. For days, weeks, months, he ached for Eddie's touch again, and even though he was in danger, he relished in the push of their bodies together. Thought, if this is how he dies, he won't mind going.

But they don't talk about it, about them, because Eddie is on the run and Max is going to die, and they have to save the world, so there's no time. In the aftermath, it's the least of their worries, and now it's been almost a decade and Eddie is coming over for coffee.

The thing is, it's not like Steve has been pining away for a love long lost in the intervening years, and neither has Eddie. They've both had longterm, serious relationships; Steve almost got married. But for Steve...Eddie is the one that's lingered, the one that knocks around his ribcage on late sleepless nights, the one that makes him dream of what might have been. Because Steve truly loved his other partners, but Eddie--nobody will ever compare.

Someone is knocking a rhythm at his front door, and he can't stifle his smile even as his heart runs riot in his chest.

"Hey, man," he says, remarkably nonchalant as he takes Eddie in. Still beautiful, still brimming with energy; his smile wide and dimpled, bouncing on his toes.

"Harrington!" Eddie grabs him into a quick side hug, slapping his back. "Since when do you wear glasses?"

Steve chuckles, touching the horn-rimmed frames. "Oh, god, Robin forced me to get them back in '87? Too many concussions." He touches his forehead. "I usually just wear contacts."

"It's a good look," Eddie says. He's very much not looking at Steve, eyes roaming around the Chicago apartment he's been to many times before.

He watches as Eddie spots the display of his own books, index finger slowly slipping across the spines in a way that makes Steve remember when those same fingers would slide down his spine. He stifles a shiver, turns towards the kitchen.

"So, how's New York? How's the book coming?"

"Livin' the dream." It's not flippant, not like how most people mean it. Eddie leaks genuineness, always has. "The book though...it's a little rough."

Steve sets the coffee maker going, brings fresh pastries and a couple plates over to the table. "I can imagine. It doesn't--it doesn't have to be the same, you know?"

"Yeah, if only I hadn't written three other books leading up to the evil mind wizard," Eddie chuckles. He grabs a croissant and tears it in half. "It'll be alright, Harrington. I'll figure it out. I lived through it the first time, after all."

Steve doesn't remind him that he almost didn't, that they almost didn't. Instead, he pours coffee, listens as Eddie talks about how to fictionalize the worst month of their collective lives.

He splashes milk into Eddie's coffee, taps in three scoops of sugar. He carries it to where Eddie waits, still talking about the logistics of Vecna-slash-Henry-slash-One in his novel, but his words abruptly stop as his hands wrap around the porcelain.

"Steve?"

It's only then that Steve realizes what he's done--made Eddie's coffee like he took it back then, made it without thinking, totally on muscle memory, when the best of his mornings were spent in Eddie's arms.

His cheeks glow crimson and he grips at the back of his neck. "S-sorry." He says. "It--is this still how you take it?"

"Yeah." Eddie's eyes fall from Steve's face, his own cheeks pink. "It's--yeah. Still the same."

"I'm sorry--"

"--Steve, I--"

They don't laugh. They both stop speaking and look at each other, faces still red. Steve thinks there's nothing for it but to get it all out now.

"I'm sorry, Eddie." He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry I never came back. I'm sorry I didn't explain why. I'm just--really, really sorry."

Eddie's eyes are hooked on the table top, fingers twisting and twisting his coffee mug. "Can I--why? I waited and you--why?"

Steve swallows, but it gets stuck in his throat, and now he's the one who can't look up from his hands.

"My parents got home early," he manages. "My dad, he was waiting for me. I guess one of the neighbors thought it best to tell them who I'd been spending my time with."

Silence falls over the table, and he chances a look up at the man across from him, the one whose knuckles bite into his lips, whose eyes shine with unshed tears.

"You should've called me. You should've--you could've stayed with us. We would've kept you safe."

"Eddie, I couldn't. I physically couldn't," the admission costs him so much.

"Steve," Eddie chokes on his name, voice nothing but anguish. "Did anyone--You could've--you were all alone."

He shakes his head. "Robin knew. She snuck through my window to take care of me, but my parents--I couldn't--" This time the words really won't come. "We made a plan. We started that job at Family Video, and we saved up our money."

Now, Eddie's face is creased with grief. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry."

Steve shakes his head, smiles despite the wreckage around his heart. "You have nothing to be sorry for, baby. I left you with no explanation. I broke your heart. And--and--" He thinks, what does it hurt to say it at this point. "I love you. I love you so much. I convinced myself you were better off without me, that we could have a clean break and you could get over me."

Eddie's hands cover his face, muffle the sob that slips out. "Get over you?" He whispers. "There's never been one like you, sweetheart."

He slides around the table to kneel at Eddie's side. "Hey." Deep brown eyes stare back at him, Eddie's face wet with tears. "It's always you, Ed. Always. I didn't want to say anything, if you had moved on, but--"

There's not really any transition from them talking to them kissing; Steve slips into it like he did all those years ago, when he first asked for Eddie's kiss. Their mouths slot together, their bodies fit like they always used to, perfect puzzle pieces. Steve's knees give out at the first brush of Eddie's tongue, and they collapse into a heap on the kitchen floor. Even then, they don't part.

Eventually, Steve does break the embrace, face flushed and hair a disaster, glasses hanging off one ear. "Okay, trying to be responsible here. Should we take a pause, go on a date first? Slow down?"

"Nine years isn't slow enough?" Eddie's pupils are blown, hair frizzed around his head.

"When you put it that way," Steve can't help but laugh. "I just want to do right by you, Eddie. Make up for--everything."

Eddie grins down at him, that sunshine beam smile where his dimples pop. "Tell you what, how bout you take me to bed now, and I'll let you take me on a date tomorrow?"

"Oh, you'll let me?" Steve rakes a hand through Eddie's mane of hair. "I don't think you'll have any choice."

"You sure about that, Stevie?" Their lips are so close, the brush with every word.

"Uh-huh," Steve's having trouble keeping his eyes focused, overwhelmed by the sheer force of Eddie Munson. "Never letting you go again, Ed."

Surprise! Part 2! I genuinely had no intention on doing a follow-up, but so many of you asked so nicely that it gave me this idea. Sorry if I miss anyone in the tag list and thank you for reading! @everywherenothere @tiny-enthusiast @emma-elsa-0000 @fuzzyduxk @moonythepluviophile @anaibis @rhapsodyinalto @bunk12bear @tillystealeaves @velocitytimes2 @s-trawberryv-eins @marklee-blackmore @ignoremyworld @its-a-me-a-morgan @goodolefashionedloverboi @starman-jpg @djohawke @adaydreamaway08

[eustasskiddsprosthetic]

I usually don't post wips so openly like this but I have an idea.

What if canon Ace, after marineford, is isekaied to an old-fashioned, coloniser England? He wakes up confused like what the God-fuck happened and it just so happens that he ends up in a noblefamily's courtyard where he meets their youngest son who's his age who reminds him a bit too much of someone very familiar. The guy's name is Sabo too.

As of writing this, the fic is still a nebulous mess in my head but here's what I have.

Ace's immediately interested. The moment he went up to the study to ask for help, everyone just screams how indecent he is because he's shirtless and very attractive. The women blush, which Ace, being a greasy player to some extent, doesn't mind, but then there's Sabo who blushes in the same way. The neurons started activating in his mind. Ace never did it with guys too often but hey, he nearly died! He'll figure it out! Let's Fucking Go!

Sabo's also interested in this sense, "H-how rude! Who's this naked imbecile (Ace's just wearing his iconic shorts and boots)? Is he mad? In this weather? (looks down. Blushes immediately) That's a rather... large... scar........ What kind of w-warrior is he? Where is he from? Roman soldiers were known for being handsome, is he... (he can't believe himself for looking at his tits again) Why is he looking at me? His hair is too long for a man. (Sabo sees his smoky black eyes once more and turns away, out of breath) He's the Devil himself. I refuse to give in to temptation. I r-refuse to sin. I refuse!"

It doesn't end there, though. This hunk of a man gets thrusted to Sabo's care because no one trusts women to keep it in their pants if the Portgas D. Ace with his infinite, maxxed out rizz is right here. Sabo wants to cut his hair but couldn't bring himself to because it's just too beautiful. He simply cuts the fringe and dry-ends off before forcing Ace to shower and change into more appropriate clothing, aka this multi-layered suit that Ace wore wrongly.

Sabo couldn't stop himself from laughing. Ace pouted so much like a grumpy cat. Sabo started coughing and wiped his eyes.

"Why'd you stop?" Ace said. "Laugh more. I don't mind 'cause you're so cute."

Sabo finally sobered up. What was he doing? Acting like some lovesick fool. He never acted that way towards his own fiancé...

He didn't say anything as he helped Ace wear it properly. He couldn't help but feel he's doing something wrong. Ace looked so uncomfortable but it seemed that he understood why he's wearing this. Sabo hid his smile when Ace sneezed. Maybe he wasn't so bad.

When he's done, Sabo thought... Well, Ace is still handsome but he felt like he had taken something away from him, the thing that made him so special to begin with: his freedom. There's some spite in Sabo's grimace.

Sabo never had the chance to even dream of freedom.

[thawthebeez]

i love reading haikyuu tiktok shipping discourse comment sections. it's so entertaining seeing so many people with such bad taste.

[feedthepheasants]

BEGGED & BORROWED TIME: NEW UPDATE!

Chapter 10 has been uploaded! Here's a brief excerpt between some of the companions where we (unsuprisingly) get some snarky Astarion. You can read the full fic on Ao3 HERE!

We play a game of back and forth chase for a few minutes, and I grab a bit of rope from my pack that I’d braided into a pull toy for him. He runs off with it at first, baiting me into chasing him, but I’m quick and grab the other end of the thick braid. When I win, I take off, trying to keep the rope out of Scratch’s reach. As my braid loosens, I have to brush rogue strands away from my eyes and cheeks.

I come to a screeching halt when I see Astarion and Gale standing at the edge of our camp, watching me. Astarion looks as though he’s trying to hold back a laugh, and lets it out completely when I see him. “You look absolutely ridiculous, darling,” he says in between bouts of laughter. “Quite entertaining, though, I will say.” 

Gale’s expression isn’t in jest the way our companion’s is; instead, he looks a bit in awe, like a little kid. The warmth in my cheeks from running around burns a bit hotter under his gaze, and I suddenly become hyper aware of the fact that my hair has begun falling out of my braid and into my face; if the heat in my cheeks is any indicator, I must be completely red-faced. I’m also out of breath, and hard as I try to get control of it, I’m still panting like an idiot. 

Scratch runs up behind me and snatches the rope toy out of my hand, though he doesn’t take off with it. He sets it down right in front of my feet and sits, tilting his head at me. I smile down at him, scratching his ears again. “Good boy – now, go get it!” I tell him, grabbing the toy and tossing it for him to chase. 

“You know,” Astarion says, sauntering over towards me and dropping his pack on the ground. “He is a good boy, isn’t he?” When he reaches my side, Astarion looks between me and Gale briefly, before adding, “Going after exactly what he wants.” There’s a taunt in his voice, but it’s not for me. I’m about to tell him to cut it out, but Scratch returns with the toy and trots over to Astarion, and the two make their way further into our camp, leaving Gale and I alone.  

[klanced]

first, hate your header (affectionate) second, its jean-bo-peep, third, when keith's galra shit flares up he has the unbearable urge to gnaw on lance just like an alt girl with her boyfriend

okay but imagine keith having like... cute aggression.

[blee-bleep]

i fuckin cant take it anymore

[pebblezone]

Thinking so hard about sertegra dancing fic that has not yet been created

[garbria]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Cor Leonis/Nyx Ulric, Crowe Altius & Pelna Khara & Libertus Ostium & Nyx Ulric Characters: Nyx Ulric, Cor Leonis, Libertus Ostium, Crowe Altius, Pelna Khara, Clarus Amicitia Additional Tags: Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Time Loop, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Getting Together, Love Confessions, Nyx's self esteem issues Summary:

He sat up in bed, gasping. He barely made it to the bathroom in time to throw up the contents of his stomach. He lay on the bathroom floor, cool tile against his cheek, as he tried to get his breathing under control.

What the fuck.

He died during an attack on the Citadel. Twice. And then woken up in his own bed, unharmed. It was impossible. Insane. And yet. He’d lived through it. In a manner of speaking.

After his breathing slowed and he felt he could move without his stomach rebelling, he dragged himself to his bed and checked his phone. The date and time blinked cheerily at him. It was Thursday morning again.

For @meissashush

[kamwashere]

okay so. so. so okay. just finished season 5 finale (still reeling, mind you) and went headfirst to watching fight the future and uh why did no one tell me.

[theflyingfeeling]

not me being like "oof I just finished writing 24 stories in 3 weeks I'm not gonna be writing anything for at least 3 months lol" but already daydreaming about like 3 different fic ideas 😭

[chibikinesis]

.

[feedthepheasants]

Excerpt from the Underdark...

“How long do we think it’ll take to get through the Underdark?” Karlach asks. 

“I don’t know,” I answer. “I’ve only heard the stories. A great many people are said to have gone missing down here, but I think a lot of those tales are just made up to scare us as children so we’ll fear the drow.” 

“Aren’t the drow, like, evil?” Astarion asks. 

“They’re widely considered to be,” I say, “or, at least that’s been the preconceived notion about them for longer than I’ve been alive. But it’s the same way with every other race: there’s good, and there’s bad. I try not to jump to conclusions.” Gale lets out a laugh at this. I turn to face him. “What?” 

His eyes widen and his brow raises in innocence. “What? I just– thought of something humorous, that’s all.” 

I narrow my eyes at him. “And what was that, I wonder?” 

“I think we all jump to conclusions from time to time,” Astarion chimes in. “And the best way to keep from doing that, is to do a little digging… ” 

My head snaps to Astarion, who gives me a tight-lipped smile. 

“Woah, did I miss something?” Karlach asks. 

“No,” I say coolly, turning to give her a smile. “Nothing at all.” I turn on my heel to continue forth, but Scratch trots back up the path towards us. I reach down to pet him, but he lets out a whine. I furrow my brows at him, and he sits, nudging my hand with his nose. I kneel in front of him, whispering an incantation to myself. “What is it, Scratch?” 

“Creatures,” he replies, in a voice only I can hear. 

“What kind of creatures?” 

-- -- -- -- --

Chapters 7-9 have officially been released on AO3! Linked below for ease of access. Feel free to drop a comment and let me know what you think! Thank you for supporting my work!

"BEGGED & BORROWED TIME" is a slow-burn romance between Wynn (OC/Tav), a druid elf, and the beloved Wizard of Waterdeep, Gale Dekarios. The story starts on the Ravaged Beach as Wynn tries to gather traveling companions, and follows the party's journey as they search for a cure, as well as their way back home.

An unfinished slow-burn currently at 9 chapters with 26,768 words. And when I say slow burn, y'all...

If you're interested in finding more about Wynn and her journey through Faerûn, click the link above and I'll love you forever <33

[sailorstarr-chan4]

Me, watching any media with Real-Life Actors: "Ugh, of COURSE the Main Couple gets together with zero chemistry, build-up, or tension besides some Bullshit Miscommunication for the sake of the third act's climax 🙄 Where's the Slow Burn??? Where's the Pining??? That Jane Austen Levels of Unrequited Angst and Longing Until the Sweet Release of Inevitable--"

Also me, watching virtually anything animated or reading manga: "Insta-Love Drama go BRRRRR 😍"