#my bf’s best friend revealing that he had feelings for him and initiating a friend breakup (messier than how it sounds)

[corpish]

my life rn feels like a movie but like I have NO idea who the screenwriters are bc every twist is wild

[chasethesun18]

I have to say I'm surprised they let Rick and TC verbalize the romantic potential for Miggy in such concrete terms this soon. (I'm freaking out over the parallel of TC and Rick's sidebar about Magnum's love for Hannah in 1x15, and now the same over his love for Higgy. Bless.) Now that they have, instinct is telling me the REAL angst is about to start. If the writers have any keen sense of pacing, the slowburn is far from over. Either Higgy/Ethan comes back as a solid couple, and then comes the fall, or we'll jump into their decline straightaway. I think the first is more likely. In the spirit of slowburn, my gut tells me to be prepared for Magnum getting another love interest, one that'll last longer than Abby this time, before we push to an official Miggy. I've seen it done on SWAT recently- one half of the central pair enters a relationship, we deal with the highs and lows and pining and jealousy, and then as that relationship ends, the other half of the coveted pair gets a new partner of their own. More pining and jealousy and angst commence until that final moment when tensions are so taut the standstill breaks. My tentative, arbitrarily chosen timeline for Miggy is circa the end of season 5 if the show makes it that far.

Higgy and Ethan spent much of the season in the honeymoon phase, with Miggy suffering the tension this dynamic wrought, until the season's last legs when Higgy reveals her past to her bf. Ethan's been good for stirring the pot between Miggy, all those itchy, uncomfortable feelings they don't know how to put a definitive label to. I think Higgy needed a transition from Richard before she could be ready to embrace her endgame with Magnum, and Ethan's a good one. It's also been great to see her be happy, for her to know she's capable of giving her heart away again. I'm grateful he wasn't the stalker, nor did he die. Our girl's been through enough trauma when it comes to love, thank you very much. With Magnum as the heart and Higgy as the practical, logical head, I think it's always been within the realm of possibility she'll take longer to catch up to what's brewing between her and Magnum. (Not that Magnum is quite there yet, himself. He just has friends and his uncle that are confronting him first about him and Higgy. And understandably, since he's the single one in this scenario. Higgy has a commitment elsewhere.) But I do believe that as obtuse and abrasive as she can be, she's improved. The difference in her dialogue from 3x01 to 3x16 is proof of that. Between gifting him Roberto the Mouse, returning his father's watch, the heart-to-heart she instigated, admitting he's both an important part of her life and her best friend, she's softening. She even admits she's been scared to get close to people, using defensive mechanisms to prevent herself from getting hurt. Progress, the likes of which we haven't seen before. I'm cheering. It's slow-going, but it's going. That's the silver lining to the obstacles in their path.

ok i didnt include your original ask that said you just watched the finale and you had THOUGHTS - girl did you ever hahaha

yes ok so to be totally honest i have not thought about these two in a hot minute. i really wasn't thrilled with the season as a whole, so it's really just slipped my mind and i had to get back in a miggy mindset to really think about this and answer. i totally agree that he's going to get a girlfriend. magnum and higgins journey reminds me a lot of castle and beckett, so they are in fact due for magnum to get a girlfriend. and im totally ok with that? i think i said this in a post after the finale that i was really here for the role reversal and i still feel that way. it's been magnum pouring his heart out and being open (and then being hurt). the finale showed him starting to kind of retreat and be more guarded - just as higgy came out swinging with the best friend comment and initiating a hug. so yeah, higgins will probably come back to hawaii with the knowledge that she's happier with magnum and with lots of thoughts and feelings to sort through...and magnums gonna have a new girl. thats fine though! i wanna see her fight for him the way he's fought for her up until this point.

yes, she is definitely softening and i LOVE it. it just means now its time for the role reversal cause we cant have things looking this good for them lolol

i have always said as long as they didnt move backwards i was happy and while i did feel like at the beginning of the season they took a few steps back, i was ultimately happy with the ending.

thank you for sharing your thoughts!!! <3

[musette22]

As it's Chris' birthday today, what's your Evanstan headcon for how they are spending it? We don't know if Chris is still in LA (as far as I know), do you think he might be back in Boston to be with his family? That would mean Seb could easily visit him now that the lockdown in NYC is over. Or would he fly to LA to celebrate with his bf? (He hasn't been seen in NYC in the last couple of days either, right?) Or will the only hang out virtually? I would love to know what you are imagining 😊

Hello darling!! So yesterday, I said I probably wasn’t going to write any Evanstan for a while, but then I woke up this morning and had a lovely little Evanstan headcanon fantasy about Chris’s birthday - as you do - and then I thought screw it, let’s write this thing. So here’s a little drabble (well, it should’ve been a drabble) about how Chris might have spent his birthday 😘

A/N: This is just a nonsensical little fantasy scenario that doesn’t actually make any sense, but the idea made me happy, so I hope it’ll make you guys happy too! Don��t look too closely, please, there’s some overlap with previous fics and this was all written very quickly and hasn’t been edited properly because it’s late where I am and I need to sleep lmao 🙈 Sorry about that!

Happy birthday, Mr. America 

*********

Chris likes surprises, generally speaking.

Not the nasty kind, like when a part unexpectedly falls through, or someone gets angry at him out of the blue and he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. But he likes it when exciting things happen and shake things up a bit, like when he’s having a lazy day alone at home, and a friend suddenly shows up on his doorstep to tell him, change of plans, we’re going bungee jumping. When that happens, Chris will happily drop whatever he’s doing and jump in the car, because that’s the kind of thing that makes him feel alive.

So when he arrives at the Evans’ family house today, on his birthday, and is greeted by a chorus of Surprise! and Happy Birthdays from a bunch of people he hasn’t seen ages - literal years, in some cases - Chris is delighted and touched; excited to see familiar faces and catch up with his friends and family.

That excited feeling lasts for a solid few hours, until his Aunt Melanie corners him and starts telling Chris about her Pilates instructor. This isn’t the first time she’s tried to set Chris up with whichever wonderful girl she’s most recently met and feels would be perfect for Chris, but this time she’s really hammering on about how she just can’t understand why a good-looking, successful young man like him hasn’t found a wife yet. She no doubt means well, but that doesn’t mean Chris is about to go on a blind date with her Pilates instructor.

When he’s finally managed to excuse himself under the pretense of needing a bathroom break, he sneaks off to the back of the house, to his dad’s old study. As soon as the door closes behind him, he lets out a sigh of relief and leans back against it for a moment, catching his breath. He loves his family to bits, but there’s no denying they’re a lot. There’s a sofa in the study, a wide, navy blue one, and Chris lies down on it, stretching himself to his full length. He closes his eyes, hoping to nap for a couple of minutes, but no dice. His aunt’s comments play in his head on a loop, causing something uneasy to stir in his stomach.

The thing is, she’s right. He should already be married and have a couple of cute kids to dote on. He’s wanted to have a family and settle down for a long time, ever since he got done with sowing his wild oats and calmed down a little. He’s the long-term relationship kind, and there had been a few girlfriends with whom he thought he definitely could see a future.

That had been Before, though. Before Sebastian Stan had waltzed into his life and upended everything Chris thought he knew for certain, complicating everything in the best and worst possible way. After the initial shock of developing feelings for another guy wore off, Chris had simply accepted his infatuation as a fact of life, and it had become something he carried with him always, but never acted on or even spoke of. He wouldn’t know where to start. It was clear there was something between them, though. The way Sebastian looked at him sometimes… It had to mean something. For the longest time, they’d danced around each other, always just shy of outright flirting, and there had been a few times when Chris really thought something might finally happen between them. But it never did.

And now it never would. They’ve hardly even seen each other, over the past year, after they stopped working together. Sure, they kept in touch from time to time, but there is only so much keeping in touch two work friends can plausibly do before it gets weird or necessarily has to turn into something else. And Chris thought he’d accepted that, more or less.

But then last week, he and Scott had gotten drunk together – like really, stupidly drunk. At around 3 in the morning, Scott had put on The First Avenger so he could make fun of Chris in his skin tight leggings, and then suddenly Sebastian’s face had been right there on his TV screen: larger than life, young and handsome like he’d been when Chris first felt that tug in his gut when he’d looked at him.

And Chris, whose brain-to-mouth filter unfortunately ceases to exist entirely whenever he’s had too much to drink, had just blurted out, “I think I’m in love with him.”

Initially, Scott had thought Chris meant that Steve was in love with Bucky. 

“Well, clearly,” he’d slurred. “They’re soooo gay, oh my god.”

And instead of using the misunderstanding to cover up for his unfortunate drunken slip-up, Chris had slowly shook his head and corrected, “No, with Sebastian. ‘M in love with Sebastian. Have been for a long time, I think.”

He’d passed out not long after, possibly his subconscious’ way of trying to protect himself against the barrage of questions from Scott that Chris had been in no state to answer in that moment. Inevitably, Scott had tried to talk to him about it the next day, but Chris – hungover, embarrassed and annoyed with himself for opening his big mouth and spilling this secret that he’d managed to keep for close to a decade – had told Scott to leave it and that he didn’t want to talk about it. Nothing was ever going to come of this now anyway, so it was much better if they could all just forget it ever happened.

Scott and he had gone to dinner at their mom’s that night, and of course, Lisa had instantly sensed something was off. Unfortunately, Chris never did stand a chance in hell against his mother, so when she took him to aside after dinner and outright asked him what was wrong, he’d had no choice but to spill the beans. Besides, if he didn’t, Scott would probably have found a way to guilt him into telling Lisa, eventually - they’d always shared everything with her, after all.

Lisa had been so loving and understanding, just like Chris knew she would, and despite the aching in his chest, he was grateful and a little bit relieved to know he wasn’t keeping something this significant from her any longer. But in the end, it didn’t change anything. Of course, Lisa had asked him why he didn’t just go for it, told him to just go for it, call Sebastian and ask him out for dinner, but Chris had dismissed all her suggestions. It just wasn’t going to happen. Certainly not now, not anymore.

She’d dropped it, eventually, but Chris is under no illusions that he’s heard the last of it.

Since then, he’d tried to put the whole fiasco out of his mind, but then Aunt Melanie started badgering him about his marital status and it had all come rushing back again.

Just when Chris about to give up on trying to nap and head outside to get some fresh air instead, there’s a knock at the door.

Chris sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Come in,” he calls, not bothering to get up because it’s probably his mom coming to check on him. “Hey, mom,” he says, when Lisa’s head does appear around the door.

“Hi, sweetheart,” she replies, smiling. She opens the door a little wider. “There’s someone here to see you.”

“Oh?” Chris says, sitting up a little straighter for whatever friend or family member his mom wants him to meet so urgently, but then Lisa steps aside to reveal –  

Sebastian.

Sebastian is here. In his mom’s house. Standing right there, looking a little apprehensive and unsure, but still so fucking gorgeous it makes Chris’s heart stop for a moment inside his chest, before it starts up again at double speed.

“Hey, Chris,” Sebastian says, and it’s his voice, he’s really here, in Chris’s dad’s old study, speaking actual words at him.

What the fuck.

Chris gets to his feet so fast he feels a bit lightheaded, lightly swaying on his feet before he manages to get some semblance of a reply. "Hi. What- Sebastian. What are you doing here?"

Sebastian’s eyes flicker to Lisa for a moment, looking at her a little uncertainly. She gives him an encouraging nod.

“Um,” Sebastian starts, turning his eyes back to Chris again. “Lisa, your mom, invited me to your surprise birthday party.” He licks his lips nervously. “So, yeah, happy birthday. And, um. Surprise.” The last word is accompanied by a dorky little wave, and Chris is just. Speechless.

Literally, can’t form any words speechless, which is highly unusual for him. When he just keeps standing there, staring a Sebastian like he’s some kind of fata morgana, Lisa rolls her eyes and nudges Sebastian with her elbow.

“Well, go on, then,” she prompts, nodding in Chris’s direction. “He won’t bite.” Then, the look in her eyes turns mischievous, and Chris has half a second to think oh no, before she adds, “Unless you like that sort of thing, of course, but then he'd ask first. I raised him well.”

Sebastian makes a strangled sound, but starts towards him nonetheless, and before he really knows what’s happening, Chris is holding Sebastian in his arms. Holding him in his arms and burying his face in the crook of his neck and breathing him in. Sebastian’s arms go around him, too, a little tentative at first, but growing tighter, more secure, the longer the hug lasts. 

And it lasts, much longer than a casual happy birthday hug between friends is supposed to last, but Chris can’t for the life of him bring himself to let go. He knows he’s clinging, that he’s got his nose pressed to the spot below Sebastian’s ear and that’s probably far too intimate, but Sebastian’s arms around are wound tightly around Chris’s waist and his cheek is presses to the side of Chris’s face, and he’s not letting go either.

Finally, after what feels simultaneously like forever and the blink of an eye, Sebastian inhales shakily, his chest expanding against Chris’s. With Herculean effort, Chris makes himself pull away. But, of course, that brings with it the complication of being able to see Sebastian’s face, flustered and glowing, eyes shining with something unnameable. They’re so close then, their faces only an inch or so apart, and when Sebastian’s eyes flicker down to Chris’s mouth for a split second, Chris’s restraint breaks.

He lunges forward, and Sebastian does the same, and their mouths crash together awkwardly and suddenly, they’re kissing. Really, actually kissing. 

Chris’s hands fly to Sebastian’s face, holding it like it’s something precious, causing Sebastian to make a small, desperate sound that reverberates throughout Chris’s entire body. When he licks at the seam of Sebastian’s lips, Sebastian parts them immediately, letting him in, and Chris is drowning. Drowning in the kiss, in Sebastian’s taste, his smell, the little sighs he’s making against Chris’s lips, like he’s just as overwhelmed and stupefied and happy as Chris is, while they cling to each other like they’re each scared the other’s going to disappear if they dare to let up for just one second.

Eventually, though, they have to break apart for air. Chris presses their foreheads together, unwilling to put any more distance between them than is strictly necessary, still breathing the same air. When Chris eventually opens his eyes, he finds Sebastian looking back at him in a way that makes his knees feel suddenly weak.

"Hi," Seb says, voice low and husky.

"Hey," Chris replies, his hands on either side of Sebastian’s face, thumbs idly caressing his cheekbones.

Sebastian giggles, a light, happy sound that makes his nose do that scrunchy thing it does, and Chris wants to die. He groans, pulling Sebastian back in by the back of his neck –

And then Lisa clears her throat. Sebastian startles; he’d evidently forgotten she was still there, or maybe assumed she’d have left to give them their privacy, but that just goes to show Sebastian doesn’t know Lisa very well – yet.

"Well,” Lisa says, a grin in her voice. “I'll leave you two to it then, let me know if you need anything.” She pauses, before cheekily adding, “Anything at all."

“Yes, thank you, mom,” Chris says quickly, keen to spare Sebastian any further embarrassment. Sebastian’s hiding his face in Chris’s chest as it is, arms still wound around his waist, and Chris is literally about to pass out from how fucking cute that is.

Holding up a placating hand, Lisa finally retreats, closing the door behind her.

Once they’re alone, Chris steers Sebastian towards the couch, sitting down and pulling him into his lap. Sebastian lets himself be guided, straddling Chris’s thighs and giving him a coy look through his eyelashes. Chris blows out a slow breath to center himself a little, bringing up his hands to settle on Sebastian’s waist.

He knows they’ll need to talk about this at some point, but right now he can’t think of a single way to express what he’s feeling, and what this means to him. Right now, all he can do is stare at Sebastian in wonder, relishing finally getting to look at him the way he’s always wanted to: unabashedly, fondly, and very appreciative of exactly how tempting Sebastian’s lips look – especially after having been thoroughly kissed. By him.

“Fuck,” Chris breathes, overwhelmed, leaning in again to catch those pretty pink lips in another kiss.

Sebastian responds beautifully, opening up right away, melting into him. His arms wind around Chris’s shoulders, fingers scratching gently through the hair on the back of Chris’s head, making him shiver.

It’s sweet, at first; lips sliding together lazily, slow and lush, but eventually, the kisses turn a little dirtier, with nipping teeth and teasing tongues. When Sebastian bites Chris’s bottom lip a bit too hard, pulling on it, Chris literally goes cross-eyed for a second. The hand that found its way into Sebastian’s hair tightens instinctively, pulling his head back just a little.

“Oh,” Sebastian breathes, eyelids fluttering, and Chris instantly feels all his blood rushing south.

He can’t believe it. He can’t believe he has Sebastian here, in his lap, looking like innocence and sin wrapped into one, looking at him through heavy lidded eyes like it’s Chris who’s something to be desired. And Chris wants. He wants so bad, with every fiber of his being, to have Sebastian right there and then, but he has just enough presence of mind left to know that they can’t rush this, can’t make any rash decisions they might later regret if they don’t talk about what’s happening first.

Words still seem impossible, however, so instead, Chris takes one of Sebastian’s hands in his and presses a kiss to the center his palm, hoping to convey with that one gesture everything he wants to say but can’t.

When he looks back up, Sebastian blinks at him, his eyes wide and stunned, before he suddenly grabs Chris’s face between his hands and starts planting breathless kisses on his cheeks, his eyelids, his forehead, and even his nose. Chris lets himself be kissed, basks in it, feeling like his heart might burst, and when Sebastian finally presses his lips to his mouth, Chris seizes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Despite Chris’s best intentions, it turns heated again in no time. Without his permission, his hands slide under Sebastian’s shirt, stroking the smooth, warm skin of his back, while Sebastian mouths at Chris’s jaw, then trails a path of kisses down the column of his neck.

“Seb,” Chris groans, hands tightening convulsively on Sebastian’s waist. “Sebastian, wait.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” Sebastian pants, lifting his head to look down at him. He’s disheveled, his hair a mess, pupils blown, his lips red and a little raw from mouthing at Chris’s beard. He looks stunning.

“Jesus, you’re beautiful,” Chris says honestly, touching Sebastian’s left cheek.

Sebastian ducks his head turning his face into Chris’s palm, but he’s smiling, which makes Chris smile, too, then they’re just smiling at each other like a couple of dorks.

Chris shifts their positions to get more comfortable, tugging at Sebastian until they’re both lying on the couch on their sides, face to face. Pulling him closer, into his chest, Chris swings a leg over both of Sebastian’s, and Sebastian takes the hint immediately, snuggling into Chris and tucking his head under his chin so they’re full on cuddling.

“Best fucking birthday present ever,” Chris mutters into Sebastian’s hair, his hand tracing idle patters on Sebastian’s upper arm. In reply, Sebastian presses a kiss to Chris’s chest, over his heart.

Somehow, they snooze for a little while, just drifting in and out of consciousness, neither of them seeming to want to untangle themselves from the other, until after an indeterminate amount of time, there’s a soft knock at the door.

Chris hums questioningly in reply, not wanting to wake Sebastian, and the door opens cautiously. Lisa pokes her head in again, and the moment she sees them, all wrapped around each other like that, she covers her mouth with her hands, cooing softly.

“Happy Birthday, baby,” she whispers, her eyes shining with affection and pride.

“Thanks, mom,” Chris whispers back, blinking back tears. “Love you.”

From where he’s half asleep on Chris’s chest, Sebastian murmurs, “Love you, too.”

[nyomjoon]

why Kou is the best character in Ao Haru Ride

Why Kou is the best character in Ao Haru Ride & the most deserving of a fangirl club

to preface, the main girl (futaba) and main guy (kou) had crushes on each other in middle school, which would’ve progressed when kou invited her out to see her at a place near a clock. however, kou did not show up because one of their classmates questioned futaba on whether she fancied kou, and she was extremely introverted and replied that she hated boys - which she did. but, she had felt differently for kou since he was more gentle and less brutish than the other guys who were really the epitome of pubescent boys. so i see the appeal to kou. upon hearing this, kou decided not to show up in fear that she would not reciprocate his feelings. alas, she was left waiting in the cold for most of the night, and would not hear from him till highschool because he moved away due to his parents’ divorce. he also changes his last name from tanaka to mabuchi (this is significant). 

edit: it has been brought to my attention that kou hadn’t shown up bc it was his parents divorce that day. i might’ve missed this detail but i assume when he tells futaba it’s not at the beginning so rlly mayb it’s another element to the ~character development~

I

When reminiscing, i only remember Kou to be the nonchalant, token tsundere, yeah he doesn’t care about you or your feelings. and upon surface level i found it to be so annoying, because he was the guy who left futaba out of his own fear. she was owed an explanation because despite it being middleschool, i too, would’ve been traumatised if the boy i liked had stood me up and not to mention leave school without a word to any of this classmates. i can side with futaba because i am also an introvert and it plucks a lot of courage to be able to ask someone out in the first place. however, that being said - being an asshole straight off the bat can only mean that there’s room or character development which to my little 12 year old self - failed to realise. 

II

when kou moved middle schools, he struggled to find his group of friends, which in hindsight would probably be difficult for anyone who was going through what he had - his parents splitting. however, he meets ms. narumi, who initially we are grateful that she was able to help kou break out of his shell and develop friendships at school albeit he wasn’t besties with anyone. despite this, i will never forgive what she does later. as i’ve mentioned earlier, when kou enters highschool he becomes an asshole. this is because he experiences his mother dying and as anyone would be, he became bitter. he was more closed off than before and upon this revelation, we begin to sympathise for kou. because losing a loved one is as depressing as it comes and we begin to understand that with his parents divorce there was no one else there for his mother except for him. his older brother, given the split, had stayed with his father and so to satisfy his mother kou spent all his middle school years studying, with a realisation too late that he had made no better memories with his late mother. 

consequent to his loss, we accept that his “asshole” personality is justified and he had become a man full of regret. during highschool, he moved back in with his father however, avoided spending time with his family at all costs. he’s revealed to be hanging around a group of friends to merely ‘waste time’ and really, he doesn’t enjoy anything in life. yet, ms. futaba, is persistent in nature and still has feelings for him so attempts to develop a friendship because of their previous relationship. much to his dismay, he still harbours remnants of his crush for her, however, he cannot and refuses to acknowledge it - he does this by not saying it aloud but he’s written her name in a notebook and despite the knowledge of its existence he does not tear or throw it away. 

III

as futaba and kou’s relationship develop even further - she convinces him to stop seeing the friends and instead he has better friends at school who are all in this event committee or something like that. however, as the story progresses, narumi comes back and asks kou to help her because shes moved to the same town and has also experienced the death of a parent - which also happened after her parents divorced. knowing what that feels like, he felt obligated to help her out. i’m not sure if he intended to be an anchor for her, but this situation turned out to be very manipulative - because narumi was purposefully trying to hold down kou and drag him away from his character development, because as you would assume, futaba & co. are the steps towards moving on from his bitterness, regret and anger, and narumi tries her best to pull him away from it which inherently just inhibited his growth. 

kou isn’t aware of this manipulation, because despite being an asshole prior he sympathises with narumi - which, really shows how kind hearted he is. he goes even further with his generosity by rejecting futaba, because even if they had dated, he still could not leave narumi because he felt as it was his duty to help her overcome her own adversities, which would’ve made futaba uncomfortable. it was/is in fact not his duty to help her overcome her trauma because as we all know it’s part of her own journey, and by helping her, he is still being tied to the past and he himself cannot overcome his trauma. 

IV

because he had rejected futaba, she decides to move on and although it does not happen immediately, she starts dating this other guy who in my opinion (which is completely objective btw) is so pushy and forward and he’s just a rat. because she starts to date this dude, kou realises that he still likes her, and depsite seeing them together he is unable to move on, or get rid of his feelings for her. now normally, this would be a bit problematic, however, because i hated kikuchi (futaba’s new bf) i don’t care. so, what i enjoyed about this particular bit of his transformation is that he was able to preserve the good things of his childhood which was fundamentally, memories of futaba and the times he spent with her. so when kou has his final talk with narumi - he lets himself out of that toxic environment, which is probably step five of his character development. and he goes back to the town he lived in when his mum died. he takes futaba with him to override the horrible memories that he had made - ones that reminded him of his parents divorce and his mum’s death. his logic behind this method was because when he was in the infirmary he was able to overcome his hate of the disinfectant smell because he was with futaba. 

he also reconciled with his mother’s passing by visiting her grave and letting her know that he is finally able to move on. 

another bit i wanted to mention, because it was so chivalrous of kou - basically, futaba got mugged and her bag had a strap that meant a lot to her. and so she tried chasing him, however, she got lost because she kicked the guy in the face and tried to run away. eventually, kou found her and she was really shocked and she actually had a fever so he had to carry her all the way to her hotel room. and then she mentioned that she lost her bag and really needed it. so, he left the hotel room and retrieved it and during his absence was when all the friends gathered in her room. when he comes back, he’s found the bag and throws it at her boyfriend which is funny because it shows how useless the boyfriend is lol. 

V

after this, he does not give up trying to chase after futaba, because she’s been such a pivotal element to his life - which we can all see. his hard work does not go in vain, they do end up together which is very pleasing. but the final bit to his reform is his last name change. as you can imagine, the initial change from tanaka to mabuchi was probably something that was traumatic but then when he changes it back to tanaka he’s able to move on from his bitterness from his mother’s death. not to mention, he was very adamant on futaba to stop calling him tanaka but its pretty significant that he was able to overcome his personal struggles. 

im too hungry so i can’t think anymore, if any of u read the manga add to the list!!1!!!111!!!!!

[whoistheasshole]

My boyfriend went on a guy trip while my dad is dying and he didn‘t even text

Anonymous asks: Am I the asshole for being upset my boyfriend hasn’t texted me even though he knows my dad is dying? My dad has been in the hospital for about a month now, which my boyfriend has been aware of. I’ve told him about how sad I am. Last week, the doctors told us that his chance of recovery is extremely unlikely & that we should consider taking him off of the machines since he’s been unresponsive for so long/ his quality of life is so bad right now.

Initially we were going to take him off the machines on Friday but my sister is in Georgia and wont be able to make it until Monday, so that’s when we’ll all be able to see him (for the first time since he’s gone into the hospital due to covid, and for the last time alive). My boyfriend, knowing this, and under the impression that my dad was going to be taken off the machines on this past Friday, went to Vermont with his friends. We’re long distance anyway so it doesn’t make a difference to me if he travels, but he left me on read since friday morning even though he knows how distressed I am and is under the impression my dad died three days ago! I admittedly haven’t texted him since then either but I’ve been coping with the fact that I’m going to have to attend my dad’s funeral & wake next week!

I’m pretty freaking peeved that he couldn’t spare a literal minute to ask if I’m doing okay but I can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable maybe? It always bothered me that he didn’t text me for days at a time when he was with his friends but I figured I was just being a little clingy as we only started dating in October (but have known each other since last June). I don’t know if I have any right to confront him/be upset that he hasn’t texted me for a few days.

sorry this is so weirdly late but in my last message i think i said he texted me on friday? I can’t remember but actually the last time he texted me on Thursday **, the day before my dad was initially supposed to be taken off the machines & also thank u for reading

Hello anon,

He might be the asshole.

I’m being vague because I want to leave room for the possibility that there are mitigating circumstances (like bad cell reception/internet access or a substantial misunderstanding), but it doesn’t sound good.

I am looking quizzically at a fun weekend out in the middle of a pandemic. I am also questioning the radio silence during this really really tough time that you’re going through. Nobody should ever have to make the decision that your family is facing right now and I hope you can lean on each other.

To move forward with your boyfriend, I recommend going back to some really trite advice: Communicate with him. It’s not clear to me whether you have had a conversation yet where (both of you) put it all out there: What are you expectations around communication, especially when your boyfriend is away “with the boys” (in a pandemic)? Which level of contact would you prefer? What is he looking for? Can you find common ground?

You are absolutely within your right to reach out and let him know how you feel and how he can help. I can’t tell if he deserves it, but any conversation is usually more productive if you assume good intentions for now. That’s generally the case when we want somebody to do something, but we haven’t actually told them out loud yet. Maybe he thinks you need some space. Maybe he doesn’t know how to be there for you around your grief, even though he would like to be, so he’s erring on the side of doing too little. Yes, maybe he’s just self-centered and doesn’t pay enough attention to you, but get the evidence on the table first, by asking him.

To be clear, I don’t recommend this approach because I think you’re wrong or that he’s a misunderstood sensitive boy. I’m recommending it because I assume you want to be with him and that you fundamentally think he’s worth putting in the effort and in that case, your best bet is open communication (provided you haven’t already tried and he failed). So go ahead and put it out in the open, ask him what he is looking for communication-wise during these trips, say your piece and go from there.

Of course this might not be the best time to have a non-judgemental discussion, especially as this is not a mere non-texting during trip situation, but a massive painful life event during trip situation. If you need to get to calmer waters to pull off such a discussion, proactively address your current needs and leave the bigger talk for later. This could mean asking him for something specific that would be helpful like “Hey bf, I’m having a really hard time right now. Are you open to having a call this evening?/Can you send me distracting animal videos?/Can could lend me your ear for 15 minutes and then we talk about something completely different?” Or if you can’t really talk to him right now without blowing up: “Hey, I’m having a tough time because of my dad and will focus on … the next days. I don’t know when I’ll text you next, but encouraging words are appreciated in the meantime.” or whatever you’re looking for. Basically, no matter which direction you go, be the one to open communication. Sometimes when one person opens up, it can start a slow chain-reaction with everybody in the relationship becoming more communicative. And focusing on the “shoulds” (he should have been calling, he should not be unavailable right now) doesn’t get you closer to where you’d like to be. Finally, if you feel like you’re too angry to have any kind of productive exchange, write it all down in a text document or make an angry drawing or scream in the basement/woods. Get your feelings out, be they sad or angry.

It’s possible that one of the above conversations will reveal that your expetations are not compatible, but cross that bridge if you come to it.

To sum it up: Yes I think you are completely justified in feeling miffed that you didn’t hear anything from your boyfriend in a situation like this. No I can’t say if it’s all his bad or if he has some kind of good explanation for the radio silence. Take care of yourself and be the turtlelest turtle you need to be right now (idk where I am going with this image, just build a blanket nest, alright?) to get through this difficult situation.

If you had to take your dad off life support at this point, I am very sorry for your loss. It’s incredibly hard what you and your family have to go through and I hope it gets bearable sooner rather than later.

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 77, Part 1

Ah boy time to start arc 8′s mini arc that everyone keeps forgetting about in the shortest chapter UF has had in a LONG while. Also I wrote this in like, the span of 12 hours so... ya know. Enjoy! (also please don’t read this on here, dumblr won’t carry over how this is SUPPOSED to be formatted so please go read it on Ao3 or FF.net to get the experience of how this chapter is SUPPOSED to look) 

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/190860858504/universe-falls-chapter-76

***

Chapter 77: Adventures in the Multiverse

Part 1: The Nightmare Realm

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Within the quiet solitude of his private study in the second sublevel below the shack, Ford had always found that he’d been able to find comfort and solace solely in the simplicity of his own research. Even thirty years ago, the author would frequently retreat to this tranquil space, take a seat in his favorite chair at his favorite desk, and lose himself in his work on the journals, eagerly documenting his latest discoveries within the pages of his trio of journals. Away from the world and awash in his own thoughts, reflections, and recollections, a better place to be some nights than others, especially when it came to the nights when it had still been him sitting at that desk, only with someone else taking the reigns of his mind instead. 

Yet that was far from the case on this particular night as Ford described the latest happenings in the later pages of his lattermost journal. A rather uneventful entry given that the day had been sparse of any supernatural or alien encounters, yet the author still found documenting his thoughts and observations a worthy use of his time all the same. 

Once again I was faced with an all-too familiar question today, one that I’ve been hearing more and more frequently from the children as of late. First it came from Dipper, not surprising given his admirable drive to learn and discover everything and anything he can (not unlike myself when I was younger). Then it came from Steven, likely as a result of the Gems leaving him out of the loop (I’ve come to understand they tend to do that to him from time to time, poor lad). But oddly enough, today it came from Mabel, which admittedly caught me off guard. Perhaps curiosity has been getting the better of all three of them in their recent idle time. Even so, as usual, I had no suitable answer to that inquiry. Sometimes it seems as though I never really will either. 

The author paused his pen, letting out a long sigh as he glanced up from the journal to the flickering candlelight coming from the wick set before him. He’d never been particularly fond of dwelling on the past and yet he constantly found himself doing so all the same whether he wanted to or not. And yet this, like many things he’d been through back in the day, was one lengthy span of time he was far from keen on dwelling on. 

Which was exactly why he tried everything he could to avoid it. And yet that familiar question, whether it was from one of the kids, one of the Gems, or someone else entirely, still always seemed to follow him all the same: 

“Where were you for the past 30 years?”

It’s not that I’m afraid or even that hesitant to discuss any of it. The problem is, I never know how to begin or what to reveal. A lot can happen in the span of 30 years, and in my case, a great deal did happen. Moments of triumph, moments of despair, moments of fear, spread so far and so broad across so many scattered dimensions. Some days it feels as though it’s not over yet, even now that I’m back in the comfort of my own home. It’s hard to say if I’ll ever truly be able to make sense of it all, but… maybe it might be worth the effort to, at the very least, try. 

Try. Try to confront something that he’d been avoiding ever since he stepped through the portal back into his basement lab. Try to stitch together the pieces of a story that spanned worlds, galaxies, even dimensions themselves. Try to face a past he’d just as rather leave behind entirely. 

I suppose trying is the best I can do in this case. And perhaps writing about some of it here will help me get my thoughts in order. Perhaps it’s time I finally reveal… 

My Journey

I remember those first moments after I was cast into the portal like it was yesterday. 

"Stanley! Please! Tell Rose Quartz I’m sorry!” His last message to his brother, or more precisely, to the pink Gem, echoed all around him through the bright white void he’d found himself sucked into. A void that led to what could very well become his demise, a thought that he barely even had time to grapple with as he tumbled through the empty light. 

The sudden feeling of weightlessness, the helpless terror, knowing that I would soon face whatever mysterious horror had driven Fiddleford to madness. 

As I felt myself being sucked away from my home (a dimension I would come to learn is referred to in the multiverse as 514÷Y), I held my breath and accepted that this could be the end. 

As luck would have it, it was only the beginning. 

In a startling flash, the white void faded away, finally allowing Ford his first (albeit somewhat blurry) glimpse as to what lay beyond it. Initially, it almost looked like a vast expanse of endless stars, much like an earthly spacescape would appear. Yet in a striking instant, that all changed, the stars burning out as the dark skies turned blood crimson. From there, that red violently exploded into a sickening shade of green, mingled with clashing pinks and oranges. Over and over again, the expanse shifted colors, constantly changing on its own wild whims as it swirled with a chaotic, unstable sort of energy, one that Ford could feel from the moment he found himself caught within it. 

Swimming through the gravity-free area of lightning and swirling colors, I reached into my pocket for a spare pair of glasses (always handy, considering how often I break them) and found myself staring at, quite literally, a living nightmare. 

As a speeding torrent of blazing asteroids rushed past him, the author jolted with fear, still largely overwhelmed with shock to do much else. Disoriented as he was, some small part of his mind still tried clinging onto logic amidst the dangerous disorder he was now lost within. And as he took another look around his hectic new surroundings, he starkly realized where it all was.

“And what is on the other side of that portal, Ford?” Rose had asked him, her voice tight and intense with growing dread. 

“What did you really have us build down here, Stanford?” Pearl had demanded harshly, glaring at him with immense suspicion all the while. “A portal to another dimension, or something far more sinister?” 

“I know what I saw in there!” Fiddleford had cried in a wild-eyed panic as he pointed an accusing finger at the portal he’d just barely been recovered from. “It was a nightmare, plain n’ simple!”

“Let’s just say that when that portal finishes charging up, your dimension is really gonna learn how to PARTY! Right guys?” Bill had cheerfully encouraged his “friends”, a group of ghouls and monsters all eagerly awaiting the portal’s completion just as much as the dream demon himself was. Something that their sinister whispers had been reminding him of on a near-constant, maddening loop for the past several weeks now: 

“The door is open…”

Ford gasped, much louder than he had meant to as the sound echoed through the immense empty space around him. His heart was hammering his chest, his panic rising as he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt exactly where he now was. 

I found myself sucked through the door to the place Bill had designated the portal to access, a place called many different things: the dimension between dimensions, the in-between space, the gateway to other worlds… 

The Nightmare Realm. The very place Bill Cipher himself calls home. 

Bill’s universe is not exactly a dimension, but rather a boiling, shifting, intergalactic foam between dimensions--a lawless, unstable crawl space between worlds that only the strangest and most unknowable beings call home. And as the portal closed behind me, I found myself trapped there, possibly for eternity. 

The entirety of the Nightmare Realm rippled with yet another wave of electric, chaotic energy, one that rattled Ford to the core with terror just as much as all of the others had before it. And yet, this one was the most terrifying by far as he spun around in the weightless space-scape, only to find a sight that made his heart sink all the way to his stomach. For the very same white void he’d emerged here from, the portal itself, his sole gateway back home to everything he’d ever known, simply exploded. In a burst of blinding, bitter light, it was wiped away like a star in a supernova, leaving nothing, no gateway out, no way to escape, left in its wake. 

He was trapped here, armed with only the clothes on his back and nothing else to ensure his survival. The chances of which, he knew, were likely ridiculously low, if they were even existent at all. He was lost, with no hope and no help. For certainly, no one would be able to come to his rescue in a place like this; not Stan, not Fiddleford, not any of the Gems, not even Rose herself. And that was perhaps the very worst part of it all: he was alone. 

Though the truth of it was, he wasn’t as alone as he thought. Though considering the company that was about to find him, he’d very soon wish he was. 

The constant dull, inconsistent clamor that filled the Nightmare Realm was suddenly broken, shattered like glass with a piercing, shrill laugh that Ford was far too familiar with by this point. Once again, the realm shifted, landing the author in another setting entirely, one streaked in sharp shadows and the bright, bizarre sets of eyes that belonged to those shadows. Yet Ford hardly paid them any mind as he instead seized up with fear while that laugh, that wild, insane, undeniable laugh rang loud and clear in his ears, just as it had in the fitful nightmares he’d been having as of late. 

He knew exactly what he’d find if he turned around, exactly who he’d have to face. And worse yet, this time, he wouldn’t merely be facing him in dreams; he’d be facing him on his own home turf. Quite frankly, he was surprised that the dream demon hadn’t already killed him the moment he found him in his realm. But Bill was never one to get to the point, which was why Ford figured he’d do so instead. 

Before I had a moment to properly panic over my fate, I realized that I was hovering before Bill himself, who was perched on a bizarre throne made of optical illusions, flanked by an army of strange and shadowy beasts. 

On his throne, Bill sat surprisingly calmly, as if he was hardly even surprised to see Ford, of all people in the dimension he called home. If anything, the dream demon seemed delighted, leaning forward slightly as he finally greeted the terrified author as brightly as he always did. “Look who finally decided to pay me a visit!” he quipped, his voice echoing through the infinity all around them. “Not that I wasn’t expecting you to show up, Sixer. After your poor buddy Glasses got a glimpse of the place a few weeks ago, I knew you wouldn’t be too far behind!”

This callous mention of his former friend was finally enough to shake Ford out of his initial fear, setting him off with a fuel of righteous fury toward the demon who had been tormenting him for so long now. “B-Bill…” he began, forcing himself to be steady in the face of his hated foe. “I-if you think you’ve won, then you’re sorely mistaken. I don’t know if you just saw what I did, but the portal closed. It’s over, Cipher. You lose!”

Despite this bold claim, Bill simply let out another haughty laugh, hovering off his throne a bit to gain even more height as he towered high above the author. “Aw, c’mon, Fordsy, don’t tell me you’re THAT deluded! You really think that portal of yours shutting itself down is gonna stop me? Some dumb sap is bound to come along and get it running again eventually. And till then, I’ve got all the time in the world to wait. Unlike you, Sixer. Get it? ‘Cause your time is about to run out? It’s FUNNY!”

“You’re wrong!” Ford shot back fiercely. “That portal will never reopen again, Rose will make sure of it! I know she will!”

“Oh yeah, cause ol’ Quartzy is soooo reliable,” Bill rolled his eye. “That’s why she left you hanging out to dry when your first test run went south, huh? Or why she’s NOT here to save you, her human of the week or the decade or whatever, from me! Right? RIGHT?”

“I-I don’t want her to come here to save me!” the author argued, his hands clenched in tight fists at his sides. “I don’t want anyone ever opening that portal; it should have been destroyed, just like Rose said.” Ford paused at this, letting out a sad, remorseful sigh as he rubbed the back of his neck. “And if I’d just listened to her in the first place, then I wouldn’t have ended up here…”

“Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, but you DIDN’T!” the dream demon mocked almost mirthfully, clearly taking pleasure in this entire situation as a whole. “But tell me, Sixer; wouldn’t you want somebody to get that portal up and running again? It’d give you a chance to get out of here, prolong your ultimately destined-to-end-anyway life a bit instead of having it cut short just by being here! After all, humans don’t tend to last long in the Nightmare Realm. We play a bit… rough around here, don’t we, boys?”

Bill’s horde of accompanying, unknown demons all let out a round of hearty, sadistic chuckles at this, laughter that sent a chill down Ford’s spine yet he refused to back down regardless. “I don’t care about going back to my own dimension,” he said firmly, and he meant it. After all, it wasn’t like there was very much left there for him anyway now. “Just as long as you’re kept out of it too, that’s all that matters to me.”

“Aw, so Brainiac wants to play the big, tough hero now, huh?” Bill scoffed flippantly. “Hate to break it to ya, Sixer, but I’m bound to get what I want either way. But it’s a shame you won’t be around to watch me tear the fabric of your dimension to shreds and grind those Crystal Chumps you care so much about to spacedust. ‘Cause ya see, Stanford, I’m not the one who’s about to lose here. YOU ARE!”

The dream demon’s golden form turned a harsh, deadly red at this, his eye pitch black as its white pupil glared down at the frightened author relentlessly. And as his usual bright blue flames erupted all around him, his eagerly watching cronies and cohorts all began to gather in closer, ready to attack. 

“CARE FOR A GAME OF INTERGALACTIC CHESS?!” Bill shrieked, his booming voice rattling the entire Nightmare Realm as it took on the same sort of aggressive crimson as its king. “THIS TIME, YOU’RE THE PAWN!” 

He snapped his fingers and one of his beasts, a 60-foot-fall ball of fingers and teeth, let out a howl like a humpback whale and charged a me, fingers and teeth wiggling and gnashing! Though I hadn’t had much time to think or plan since my arrival in the Nightmare Realm, I knew right off the bat that escaping was my only chance at survival. 

Acting on adrenaline and instinct, Ford forced himself to spin around amidst the gravity-free expanse, frantically swimming forward in midair as the monster lunged toward him hungrily. It nearly caught him too, though the author barely managed to outmaneuver it, dodging its path in just the nick of time. Still, he was close enough to it as it passed him by to give him a window of opportunity, exactly the one he needed to get away. 

For right as the creature began turning itself back around, Ford pushed himself to “jump” onto one of its many massive hands, using it as something of a springboard to propel himself away from the monster entirely. With this newfound momentum, the author sailed through the ever-changing realm quite a distance, putting some much-needed distance between himself and the monster as it attempted to right itself and go after him. 

And in time, it did so, tailing him as he continued pushing himself through space with as much force and speed as he possibly could. However, the monster was every bit as persistent as he was, intent on acting on Bill’s orders and catching its prey as it continued the chase without any signs of ceasing. Fortunately for Ford, however, as he turned his sights forward once again, he found just the cover he needed to end it. Or at the very least, give him a much-needed chance to breathe amidst all of the endless insanity he was up against. 

I managed to hide behind an asteroid field in the nick of time as the monstrosity passed me by, and I swam through the air in a panic as multiple beasts tore through the space rocks, searching for me.

As the author took refuge in a dense collection of asteroids, he could hear a series of approaching roars and rumbles, no doubt from all of Bill’s other beasts as they all assembled to go after him as well. Unsure of what else to do, Ford pressed tight against one of the larger rocks, hoping that he wouldn't be seen. Without any sort of weapon to speak of, there would be no fighting back against creatures as dangerous and unpredictable as these, which meant that escaping from them as all he could really do. Or, at the very least, hiding in the hopes that he could come up with some sort of plan to put an end to this madness before it was too late. And fortunately, it seemed as though some small shamble of luck was still somehow on his side in his otherwise luckless plight. For as he dashed toward another asteroid to hide behind, he happened to spot an even better escape instead. 

Fleeing for my life, I miraculously managed to take shelter in the crater of a large passing asteroid as the monsters swarmed by. Hidden deep within the recesses of the stony caverns, I could hear Bill’s shrill voice: 

“SIXER WANTS TO PLAY HIDE AND SEEK! FIRST ONE TO FIND HIM AND BRING HiM TO ME GETS THEIR OWN GALAXY!”

It was followed by the manic laughter of creatures large and small racing off to locate me. I was so crazed from fatigue and rage that my first impulse was to give myself up to Bill so I could curse him right to his face. And at the time, I figured I might as well do exactly that since the chances of me realistically making it out of the hellish dimension I was now trapped in here were essentially none. 

With Bill’s horde of monsters and demons successfully evaded for the time being, Ford had finally found a moment to rest, not that he actually found any such solace in it though. Instead, the author slumped down against the cavern wall, staring off into the immense darkness ahead so he wouldn’t have to look back into the endlessly shifting scape of the Nightmare Realm in its place. 

Had it really just been mere moments ago that he had been standing back in his own basement lab, face to face with his twin brother? Had it really been a mere moment, just one unfortunate second that had turned his life upside down, or rather, had ruined it completely? The author knew he had a long list of people he could pin the blame on for his disastrous plight: Stan, Bill, himself. And yet that blame would hardly do him much good here. Because as long as he remained entrenched in the horrors of the Nightmare Realm, then he was essentially just waiting to die. 

The moment he realized this fact was the same moment he realized he was shaking, his hands trembling with cold fear that had filled him from the second he arrived in this awful place. When he had been a young, innocent boy, he’d always dreamed of going on some grand, high-stakes adventure, a dream that both him and Stan had shared. But now that he was actually living that dream, or nightmare rather, it was far from anything he’d once hoped it would be. 

Amidst that chilling terror, he could also feel warmth, building up behind his eyes as they started to turn wet. A small sob choked its way out of his throat as he hugged his knees close to his chest. Briefly, he was finally able to take stock of his tattered lab coat, his fresh pair of glasses already slightly cracked from the fray he’d narrowly managed to escape. Yet none of that even remotely mattered to him now. What did matter were all of the things he was all-too-quickly realizing he’d never get to do. 

He’d never see his home again, be within the familiarity of the house that sat in the shadow of a temple he’d come to see as a beacon of hope and security. He’d never see the constant stars resting over the peaceful waters of the lake or hear the morning birds greet another crisp Oregonian morning. He’d never write within the pages of his treasured journals, or explore all that the strange, yet beautiful town of Gravity Falls, a place he’d come to lose so much in such a short amount of time.

He’d never get to make amends with Fiddleford for the harrowing experience he’d put him through. He’d never get to apologize to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl for dragging them into his disaster. He’d never be able to tell Rose just how much he valued her friendship, how much he wished he could win her trust back and how much he had trusted her, how he still trusted her, even despite everything, in turn. And even though some part of him was furious, outraged that Stan’s foolishness had gotten him into this mess in the first place, another part of him still mourned that he’d never get to see his brother again either. 

He would never be able to go home again. And given the mounting list of disastrous mistakes he’d made, it was probably the only fate he knew he really deserved.

Ford had all but lost himself to grief over that fact when suddenly, a small, yet still prominent noise coming from deeper within the cave he’d taken shelter in. Slowly and carefully, the author rose to stand, peering deeper into the darkness where the faint whispers were coming from. He was hesitant to follow them, initially believing them to be coming from more of Bill’s henchmen, lurking in the shadows, just waiting to attack. And yet, these soft, almost scared whispers were a far cry from the raving, manic screams and shrieks of the monsters outside. Which was exactly why Ford allowed curiosity to get the better of him as he stepped into the darkness, not knowing what he’d find. 

What he did manage to find, however, was perhaps the last thing he could have ever expected. 

Pressing further ahead into the cavern, I discovered that I was sharing my hiding spot with a shivering family of intergalactic refugees. 

Sure enough, a group of four alien creatures of varying species and sizes sat, each of them bandaged and war-torn in different ways as they desperately tried to keep themselves warm around their small, strangely glittering purple fire. Ford stopped short just shy of approaching them, stunned by their presence as they were by his when they caught sight of him. And yet, instead of pulling out any sort of weapons to attack, the group offered the author a series of sympathetic, consoling looks as their leader, squat, snaggletoothed, guinea pig-like creature with an eyepatch and a mechanical arm, calmly beckoned him forward. 

“You lost your way out there too?” he asked with something of a folksy draw to his tone. “Can’t blame ya, you wouldn’t be the first. C'mere and join the rest of us lost souls. Warmin’ up ‘round the fire is leagues better than tryin’ your chances out there, that’s for sure.”

Ford said nothing at first, eyeing the group warily until he realized their leader was right. At the very least, these creatures didn’t see intent on eating him alive like Bill’s were. 

“T-thank you,” the author said, holding his hands out toward the violet flames in the hopes that the warmth would finally cease their endless shaking. “If you don’t mind me asking… what exactly are all of you and… what are you doing in… well, to put it lightly, here?”

“Heh,” one of the other members of the group, a small, somewhat pig-like creature chuckled bitterly. “Ain’t that the story of the multiverse?”

“A tale of great sadness and woe indeed,” the most reptilian creature of the group, complete with a long neck and a bandaged stub of an arm shook his head morosely. 

“One that’s probably not bound to get a happy ending at this point,” the final member of the group, a horned, fanged creature sighed tiredly. 

“But before we get into that depress fest,” the leader grumbled, shaking his head at his despairing friends. “Allow us to introduce ourselves first. The name’s Yottos. Put ‘er there.” Ford shook the robotic hand Yottos offered to him before he began to go through the rest of the refugees. “That’s Hocoh,” he nodded to the pig-like creature on the other side of the fire. “He’s Qharquains.” The reptilian creature waved his stub of a bandaged arm in greeting. “And he’s-”

“I’m George,” the horned creature finished bluntly, catching the author quite off guard. 

“Huh… that’s a… surprisingly normal name,” Ford pointed out with a frown. 

“You kiddin’? It’s the strangest name in the whole dang multiverse!” Hocoh laughed, slapping his knee. Likewise, Yottos and Qharquains also joined in on the bout of laughter, flustering George in the process. 

“So you guys keep saying!” he grumbled petulantly. “Y-you’re just mad ‘cause your names aren’t as cool as mine! You!” he looked to Ford somewhat suspiciously. “What’s your name, newbie?”

“Oh, I-I’m Stanford,” the author introduced himself. “Stanford Pines.”

The refugees fell silent at this as they all looked to the author incredulously. “Hm. And I thought George was an odd name...” Qharquains remarked, eliciting another frustrated growl from George as the other two refugees laughed once more. 

“Guys! Stop it!” 

“Now then, Stanford Pines,” Yottos began, his tone turning serious as he looked to the author once more. “Ya asked for our story and here it is. We were just a bunch of humble asteroid miners, hard at work for an honest day’s livin on the stardust fields just off of Oloxion 9.”

“We were just ‘bout to head home for the day when BAM! FLASH!” Hocoh exclaimed dramatically. “A GIANT wormhole shows up, clean outta nowhere, and sucks our ship inside with all us on it!”

“When we all came to, we found ourselves drifting here, within the forbidden gateway between worlds,” Qharquains explained evenly. “With our ship irreparably damaged, we were lost, in the very place where all things in the multiverse that go missing tend to end up in.”

“We barely managed to escape from all of those… horrible monsters…” George shuddered fearfully. “And we’ve been hiding out here ever since, both from them… and… f-from him…”

“...You mean… Bill?” Ford ventured, only to receive a sharp and sudden reaction from the refugees. A round of horrified shrieks rose up from the group, panic filling their expressions as they covered their ears to try to avoid hearing the dream demon’s name in any way possible. Somewhat confused, the author looked between the frightened members of the group, both understanding their alarm and trying to make sense of it all at the same time. “Is… something wrong?”

“Do not speak the demon’s name!” Qharquains warned fearfully. “He has ears everywhere here…”

“He’ll hear you, t-then show up here, a-and DESTROY US ALL!” George cried, shaking as he pulled his hood over his eyes. 

“If you’re here, then you gotta know,” Hocoh said sternly, seriously. “That demon, nah, that monster is nothin’ but trouble!”

“Tch, don’t I know it,” Ford scoffed bitterly, crossing his arms. “Believe it or not, I used to consider Bill--er, t-that… demon,” the author corrected himself as the refugees shrunk back in terror once more. “To be my muse. I let him influence me, trick me, into building an interdimensional portal and it’s because of that portal that I ended up here in the first place… And all because I stubbornly refused to listen to my closest friend when she told me he was not to be trusted…”

“Your friend sounds like she’s got a good head on her shoulders,” Yottos nodded in agreement. “Cause she’s right. Ya can’t trust a monster like him. In fact, you’d be pretty stupid to even listen to a single word he has to say!”

“I can’t believe you didn’t know,” George shook his head incredulously. “That demon’s one of the most feared beings in the whole multiverse! Everybody, and I mean everybody knows he’s always been bad news and will always be bad news!”

“Legend has it that he took over this realm eons ago,” Qharquains said gravely. “He used it as a hideout for himself and his equally chaotic allies, a place just as lawless and insane as they are. However, the Nightmare Realm is doomed for destruction. It has no consistent physics that it can adhere to, nothing to keep it stable. Which is why, in time, it will eventually implode, taking everything and everyone that calls it home with it.”

“So… that must be why Bill was so intent on that portal being built…” Ford muttered to himself, finally understanding the scope of the dream demon’s plan. 

The Nightmare Realm… a dimension between dimensions that was never meant to exist in the first place. A plane of chaos and disaster so immense that even the multiverse itself wants it gone. That’s why Bill seeks a new, more stable dimension to take over, much like he had his current ruinous home, and a foolish mind willing to let him in. A mind like mine. 

“I’m going to stop him!” Ford exclaimed, largely without thinking. The refugees all turned to him, dumbfounded and stunned, especially as he explained himself further. “If Bill--if that demon really does pose such a large threat to both my home and the the multiverse as a whole as you say, then someone needs to put an end to his destructive plans. And that someone is going to be me.”

“B-but that’s crazy!” George balked in utter disbelief.

“What makes you think you’ll stand a chance against someone as powerful as that demon?” Hocoh asked, not buying the author’s verve. “Nobody who’s ever tried standin’ up to him has ever lived to tell the tale.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Ford shook his head, resolved. “He has to be stopped, some way or another. Before he really can escape the Nightmare Realm. Too many lives have been ruined because of his antics, including my own. That’s why it’s time to put an end to him, to prevent him from ruining any more.”

“Tch, you’re not all there, are ya, Stanford Pines?” Yottos asked, finally cracking a wry smile. “Still, ya got guts, and we can’t help but respect that, can we, boys?” The other refugees all nodded in agreement at this, though it was clear they were still rather baffled by Ford’s unflinching determination all the same. “If you’re really dead set on facin’ that demon, then let us help ya out.” Yottos dug into his bag of supplies, pulling out a few sets of rations, mostly made up of odd, compressed mush that the author was completely unfamiliar with. Though at this point, he knew he couldn’t really afford to be picky when it came to what he ate out here. “Take these, and also this.” The leader presented him with some sort of electronic, bracelet-like device, one that the author couldn’t help but look over curiously as soon as he received it. 

“What is it?” he asked, fascinated. 

“Dimensional translator,” Yottos said, poking at the fire a bit. “No offense, but ya seem a bit new to the whole ‘dimensional travel’ game, so that’ll give ya a bit of an easier time when it comes to folks out there that aren’t as ‘well-spoken’ as we are. Now, it’s a bit of an older model, but it should still work just fine.”

“Right,” Ford nodded with a grateful smile as he slipped the translator on his wrist and the rations into the empty supply bag Qharquains also gave him. “Thank you all for your help. I really do hope all of you find your way back to your own home someday.”

“Eh, at this point we’re honestly just satisfied with surviving from day to day,” George shrugged. “And not getting eaten by the occasional gloop monster or eyeball beast.”

“...Um… well then,” the author cleared his throat as he segwayed into a different topic instead. “You… wouldn’t happen to know what the odds are of a portal or a wormhole opening up that would lead back to Earth, would you?”

“What’s a ‘Earth’?” Hocoh asked, completely confused. 

“I’ve never heard of that dimension before,” Qharquains said, shaking his head. “But if that is the place you call home, then I’m afraid to say that the possibility of you returning there from here, by all accounts, is quite slim.”

“That’s… exactly what I was afraid of…” Ford sighed, still just as aware as he was before of his fate. A fate that seemed quite uncertain, even now. And yet despite that uncertainty, he still clung onto a sliver of hope all the same. Not the hope that he’d ever return home; he knew that ship had sailed and sunk. But rather, the hope that he’d finally be able to stop Bill and save the world, even if it was a word he’d never be able to see again. 

So a plan began to form in my mind. I would travel from dimension to dimension, learning what I could about Bill--his weaknesses, his secrets. I’d gain my strength, bide my time, and once I was ready, I would return to the Nightmare Realm and destroy him once and for all. I might never see home again, but at least I could save the multiverse from his wrath, and wreak vengeance for the life he stole from me. 

And that was exactly what he was going to set out to do. He’d risk anything and everything just to see Bill Cipher finally meet his end. Even if his own end came right along with it. 

The refugees excitedly hailed me as a hero as I prepared to leave, bidding me the best of luck in my quest as I waved them goodbye, setting off from their asteroid to swim toward the nearest wormhole. I was ready, ready to do whatever it took to not just survive, but thrive, as I cast my fate to the wind to discover what new worlds awaited me. 

Yet as I left the Nightmare Realm and all its terrors behind, I still caught wind of one final cheer the refugees offered me. One that I still don’t know the meaning behind, even to this very day:

“Praise the Axolotl!” 

Next: 

[theprivilegedshatlord-blog]

I am the friend known as “H” from CancerChaser blog in Chapter 6

I am here to corroborate what my friend said and provide my side of the story of this situation. Walhartonsclub (WC) told me about CancerChaser (CC) back in 2016 after the first incident where CC was wiling out on WC because of what seemed to a misunderstanding of affording a phone. I initially told WC to ignore him because he was not worth shit or at least is what I initially thought. From there he kept me informed about what CC did throughout.Now to go into when i was first referenced in the chronicles about CancerChaser. From what I knew at the time, CC asked WC to send emails over and over from phone to his email. Have no idea why would he need WC to do that. He could have used something like Imgur. Given that CC had a phone that was not a smartphone based on what I was told, it would probably be impossible. Of course trying to make simple suggestions to him like this is enough to make CC go into a hair-triggering temper tantrum, so there is no use to try to convince him to upgrade. It was 2016, being up to date shouldn’t be too hard, you can even get refurbished smartphones for a fraction of full retail price. My parents have the latest phones and they are older than CC by decades. Why did CC chose WC instead of other friends for these favors is beyond me. So he asked and asked and asked WC to send him these pics over and over. WC complied with generosity. WC likes to please his friends. He has pleased me multiple times. He also tries to be the best person he can be. Needless to say CC took advantage of him.So when it came time for CC return the favor, he was resistant initially. When he finally did start playing, he did until after half of the game was over. The game was Spring Breeze from Kirby’s Super Star on Super NIntendo. Did you know that Spring Breeze is a remake of the original Kirby’s Dream Land on Game Boy with a missing level and boss? So CC did not even bother finishing such a short abridged game. That betrayal was just foul play on CC’s end.

Then CC would later use WC’s insecurities to gain him back and asked for more favors. WC then approached me on rethinking the situation. I initially thought that he probably did not like the game and was bored. I made the suggestion to pick a game that has much less interaction. Like some touch screen DS or 3DS game. WC brought up Warioware Twisted Touched!, so I thought would be a good choice there. My reasoning is that CC probably has no real interest in video games. I have heard that he has play Super Mario Bros. 3 growing up. Which makes me realize that CC is a very casual non-gamer person.

Reading the situation in question at Chapter 5 reveals that CC had been simply holding the controller where the direction pad in the upper right corner and seemingly pressed no buttons which means he was faking interest and had no intention at all to return the favor. He really should have said that he had no interest in playing video games. He was lying to manipulate WC. Which comes to no surprise that CC refused to play Warioware Twisted Touched! when asked. He cannot play easy games. He cannot play very simple games. But he would lie about having an interest only for him to evade that with excuses. With friends like these who needs bullies?

The next time I was involved was when WC was having his panic attack resulting from personal issues that are stated in Chapter 6. I have received certain pictures that hinted that he was contemplating suicide. Being under vacation time from my job, I decided to actually come see WC to check up on him myself. When I saw him, he was sitting on a couch. When he saw me he was excited to see me I asked if he took any of the pills or hurt himself, he told me that he gave himself more time to think about it. Perhaps to think about the people that love him.

He told me about the situation that led up to the panic attack. Best way to describe what was happening without revealing confidential information is that someone was very sick and emotions erupted. I had told him that he needs more time to hang out with friends. We not only did Spring Breeze in full, but also Meta Knight’s Revenge, Dyna Blade, and Great Cave Offensive as well. Games in that collection that are larger than Spring Breeze. We did not get to do Milky Way Wishes that day, but we did eventually got to do it at another time. We also played Brawl Brothers, all I remember is that there was a code to play the Japanese version and we did that and completed the game. It was short at 5 levels long. We also played Events in Super Smash Bros. for Wii U. We did not clear all of the event, only some but we did have fun.

At Applebees we discussed the situation further. There I learned that he had sent the same pics to other friends as well which made me concerned. I thought that WC was going to get a wellness check on him or worse be committed to a mental ward for days. I only knew one recipient among the 7 besides myself (I never met CC in person). The person I knew is a mutual friend. The mutual friend never really got to see the messages, so he was unaware (it reached an old phone and when he got a new one, the messages were deleted). The mutual was relieved to know that WC was okay and felt better. And yes the mutual is informed of CC and his bullshit antics; I can confirm that he heavily resents CC, as I do.

So I had to get WC to do damage control to avoid being institutionalized. As information like this can scare people and be irrational. We needed for cooler heads to prevail. So WC told everyone that it was for attention. So WC can still run his panel at a upcoming convention and not be stuck that weekend in a mental hospital. He really needed to avoid the ruining of plans like that.

After all, my cousin once told me about the one time she told exactly one person that she felt suicidal because an aunt of hers  being diagnosed of cancer (from her dad’ side, I’m related through our moms being sisters). Telling her best friend was enough for the BF to call the ambulance and my cousin had to stay in a mental ward for 16 days!

CC’s response was very callous. As far as I know, he never asked what was going on around that time. He just stayed silent and only responded with that shitty “I knew it” bullshit when he received a fucking coverup. WC was crying for help and I answered the call. I live 2 hours away and this asshat lives minutes away in walking speed, yet gives radio silence to someone he calls himself a friend to, is mere blocks away, while I invest in gas and mileage to make sure WC is okay. Some friend CC is. For someone who claims to be “a good friend” in his hate mail; he sure shows no effort in even trying to check up on him. Real piece of scum CC is.

I later go to see the panel and I liked it. Which comes to no surprise in my perspective. The next day I played Streets of Rage 1 with WC. The only other thing I remember is that there was some dude I met who was in a wheelchair because he broke his foot days before.

Now for my thoughts about CancerChaser and his narcissism.

Walhartonsclub would later work for New York Comic-Con and buy the Super NES Classic. Which meant for the later part of September and early October he would be very busy. He also was seeking for connections, so there would not be any room for free time. CancerChaser did not give a shit about the adult responsibilities WC had to do. And despite CC being older than WC, CC would not take no for an answer and start guilt tripping WC. Having enough of CC’s scummy actions, WC finally cut ties. This was met with harassment and hatemail. Which truly shows CC’s irredeemable character in full form.

CC is a fucking disgrace to everything it means to being gay. If I was gay, I would rather live in a fucking fraternity of homophobic bullies that to ever have anything to do with CC. This old man never seemed to learn a single thing about accountability or responsibility. How dare does he interfere with a job? What gives him the right to call his target for the simple reason to give expletives to him? And his emails? Disgusting does not come close. Making empty threats to for law enforcement for intimidation and truly showing his true colors on how he uses people only to claim they are useless after the fact. And his latest unprovoked email where he makes more empty threats and more shitty insults is fucked up. I have heard that CC passed by a block away from WC’s home twice after 2017. That is obvious projection. CC’s knows WC’s location. Clearly CC is the stalker. Stalking close to his target’s home and then acts like he is the victim and being harassed is scummy behavior. I have never seen such a scummy person ever as far as stalkers and harassers go.

I honestly have no consideration for him as a human being. If he receives anything terrible short of death, it is karma. He deserves nothing but negativity and hate. This man is among the lowest of monsters. I have had to deal with people with psychosis several years ago, but this man is worse by the power of 10. There is bad people and there is EXTREME SCUM. CancerChaser is the latter. The only people worse than CancerChaser are child rapists, pedophiles, murderers, terrorists, abusive parents, and human traffickers. All those aside, CancerChaser is the worst kind of person out there. Fuck this man. Fuck him HARD!

And finally I got one thing to announce. I get the feeling that people do not really want to read long as fuck posts like this on tumblr. I am going to fix that. I am going to working on readings of the CancerChaser blog and post them on YouTube so people who don’t really care about reading essays can listen to the situation as well. Because we really to expose CancerChaser and let tons of people know who much inhumane scumbag CC truly is.

[hanaclover8]

The story of how I became my ex’s gf’s friend

Hello, tumblr has become my source of drama archive. You will see more of these posts. K thx

Story legend

Ex bf: “Y”

Girlfriend: “O”

Me: “H”

Ride or die friend: “N”

This all started back to when I noticed “Y” blocked me on Instagram. How did I know? He was constantly looking at my story, so yeah I’d find out the moment he’s not looking anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️

So I messaged him on whatsapp, asking what happened since I thought we’re still friends & if I did something wrong. He blocked me on whatsapp.

Fast forward a week.... (or so. I have bad time-sensitivity)

He unblocks me. He explained his current gf “O” was paranoid about me. He had to prove to her that he doesn’t want to get me back. But she doesn’t feel secure in their relationship if I don’t get a boyfriend. So basically, “Y” told me “O” wants me to get a boyfriend in order for her to feel secure in their relationship.

This made me furious.

Obviously.

Right!?

I bitched out “Y” that he has no right to drag me into his relationship. I am the past, move on. I told him that “O” is a child, and she needs to get her insecurities checked. I was not nice about it.

I showed my close friends this, because hell, are they even friends if you can’t rant to them in comfort?

My best friend “N” was furious. He took the initiative to dm “O” on Instagram. Since she went ahead and blocked me. He put her in her place, telling her that she needs to start acting like an adult.

“Y” messages me a few moments later. “O” had seen the message “N” said, and she was furious. “Y” said “Now you got your friend to stick his head into places she shouldn’t be....etc”, “she’s not listening to reason!”

As if this was my fault to begin with? Why do I have to fix your shit?

Ok anyways, “O” unblocks me on Instagram, and DMs me”

The truth was revealed.

“Y” told “O” the reason he’s with her is that dating is a competition to him, because he’s competitive. He wants to know that he can date someone before I did. He was constantly checking on my social media to see if I was dating anyone. (I wasn’t because I am secure with myself and I am ok to be single)

“Y” has also been secretive about his phone to “O”. He still kept all our pictures back from when we were dating. Hence she was insecure about how he felt about her. (Understandable)

Ok so “O” and I are now friends. We’re putting the puzzle together....

“Y” is an asshole, thinking he can lie about what’s really going on, and making up things to tell me and to tell her.

So me, being the social justice bitch that I am, stood up for “O”. I went to message “Y”, told him he fucked up, and he needs to fix himself before he goes and hurts people.

“O”, who is younger than me, and inexperienced in relationships, is now my friend and I am open to her if she needs any future relationship advice.

Oh yes. She broke up with him.

Well deserved.

[kinsbin]

Theme Parks and Fireworks

Title: Theme Parks and Fireworks Ship: Alexys/John Doe [Joker] [Self Insert/Canon] Word Count: 2595 Summary: John is determined to take Alexys out on a fun, romantic date. And what better place to do so then an amusement park? Rollercoasters, ice cream, and games...It sounds like the ideal date, but, will she think so?

A/N: A commission for @bad-blue-moon-rising! Sometimes you just need a classic carnival date with ur bf man.

Alexys gazed around the open area, the tips of her toes straining under her weight as she searched desperately for the man she was supposed to meet. While the late night and the weekday date kept the majority of amusement park goers at bay, there was no denying that it was still busy. Couples bustled around her, the chattering of their teeth combined with the echo of theme-park music playing high over speakers around her made her feel trapped despite being out in the open. Anxiety welled and lowered every so often as nerves and excitement combined into the perfect cacophony on the inside of her heart.

It was the first time that John had suggested they go out together on a date in public. Rather, it wasn’t the first time he suggested it. He had suggested it many, many times at a constant rate as they lay together in the safety of either her apartment or his home, fingers entwined while they rested on one another’s shoulders. One thing or another kept coming up to stop them from doing so, of course. A crime scene had John lay low. Work kept Alexys busy, or Bruce Wayne had a particularly free day to spend with his best friend...There was always an excused that felt heavy in their hearts as it kept them from doing things they said that they longed to do with each other.

This weekend, of course, was different. This weekend...they were both free.

Unable to choose the place to go, they had literally filled a small bowl up with scraps of paper and shook it up. John said it would be fun to allow chance to take them wherever it wanted them to go. It was only after she pulled out the note that said ‘amusement park’ that he revealed to her that, in fact, just about all of them had said ‘amusement park’. “I really wanted to go to an amusement park,” Was John’s subtle argument that had Alexys giggling with delight at how sheepishly adorable it all was. Her laughter brightened him up as he leaned forward to find her lips, kissing them as they began to plan their day out.

And now there she was, standing nervously as she waited for John to join her. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, she second guessed it all with terror in her mind, maybe they had out to reschedule it for another day. There were still so many people, maybe he got lost. Maybe he-

“Alexys!”

A familiar voiced sung her name out with complete adoration. Alexys followed its tone with her eyes, wide and hopeful as she picked out a waving hand through the crowd. She felt her own smile grow in relief upon her lips as she pushed through as politely as she could to get to the man reaching for her. John, on the opposite end of the spectrum, seemed to have no qualms with powering through whoever dared get in his way in an effort to make it towards Alexys.

When they were united, he gripped at her hips and brought her into a kiss, lips forming into smiles as they both laughed while John twirled her around and off of her feet. Her hands, in turn, found their way around John’s neck and held on tight as he swept her up in his greeting. He loved hearing the muffle of her laughter as he kissed her. Feeling the smile on Alexys’ lips as he surprised her was, by far, the greatest thing he had ever felt in his life. John could feel his heart beating ten times faster in his chest than he had thought physically possible. God, was this what being in love felt like? It only made him want to smile more. To make HER smile more as he finally put her down and held her hands to his own chest, eyes twinkling with excitement at the stimulation the world around them provided.

“Sorry I was late,” He informed while simultaneously gazing around at the park before him, “Traffic was absolutely horrible! There was this guy on the freeway and an overthrown pizza cart, it was a nightmare-Oh my god is that a rollercoaster with two loops?!”

Alexys whipped her head around, eyes wide with shock at the sudden change of conversation. Sure enough, the park’s major attraction shone in view of the colorful lights slowly beginning to shine on, enhancing the already mystical feeling of the world they were in. The screams of those riding it could be heard from where they stood, the ground shaking as nearby roller coasters flew by the both of them with practiced, mechanical ease. Alexys could feel her heart thump in the center of her throat, nerves and excitement overwhelming her senses as she looked back at John. She grinned and him and he grinned back, the decision in their minds clear as their thoughts seemed to harmonize together in the base of their stems.

Oh they were getting on that coaster.

The journey to it, of course, would take them all across the park. Alexys was not against stopping at every colorful game and miniature ride that caught their attention and John, oh, John welcomed it. Though their shared goal remained the daunting coaster inching its way closer to them with each and every step, it was easy to drown yourself in the colorful booths that people hyped up. The prizes and the park’s lights were easy to disappear into with every passing moment.

A hand touched at her shoulder, pausing her movements in favor of turning to face her date. John’s eyes were fixated on something else, his gaze locked hard on something far to the side of their original route. She followed his gaze carefully, watching as it lead up to one of the more traditional carnival games in the area. The smiling clown faces winked brightly back at the both of them, animatronic giggles echoing against it as they hummed along to carnival music. Children and adults alike aimed water guns into the center of their faces, the fastest ones filling up the balloons over their head until they burst with water, spraying down near the carnie manager, who laughed and declared the winner.

His eyes tore away to stare at Alexys, the single pleading word in his eyes that she saw with such clearness it almost made her smile with adoration at just how sweet it was for him to ask the permission:

‘Please?’

“We GOTTA try it.” Was her only response.

John laughed, his grin returning two-fold as his hand moved to grip at her own. Alexys smiled, fingers entwined together with his  as the two tugged one another gently along. They arrived in record time, each step feeling like two with the way John chose to jump and move as eagerly as he did. The wonder he found in a world that always felt like it was going to disappear warmed Alexys’ heart. She felt her stomach churn with butterflies and love as she watched him practically dive into the seat of one of the booths, ordering two tries for her and him with a smile so wide it practically stretched his face. Alexys jumped into the seat at her side just in time to witness the face of the booth manager contorted in the stereotypical teenage eye roll that signaled they simply weren’t paid enough to complain about any of this.

“If I win,” John hummed playfully, “You need to buy us ice cream, okay?”

“You mean if I win,” Alexys challenged back with a laugh, “You buy us ice cream AND I get to keep the cool stuffed animal we get.”

“In your dreams,” John snorted, shutting one eye and sticking his tongue out comedically, “I am a trained marksman. A creature of perfect aim. There’s no way you could beat me at my own home game...It was meant for me.”

HIs dramatic money was put where his mouth was when the game started, the balloons filling and filling with endless fuel until at last one burst form the seams. Alexys gasped as water was sprayed down on her, the buzzer above her head signaling her the winner. John gasped, but the look of shock morphed into a laugh and grin as he clapped for her, the prize of one large stuffed bear being handed down in her fingertips. Over the stuffed animal, Alexys grinned wide at her partner.

“What was that about winning again, expert marksman sir?”

“Clearly I’m out of practice,” John huffed dramatically, hand over his heart as he puffed out his chest, “Green Arrow who? I would have won that if your beauty hadn’t distracted me.”

A blush coated her face and Alexys wheezed, hiding her face in the bear’s soft purple fur as John laughed at her reaction, reaching out to stroke her hair with a kiss to her temple. “How about some ice cream to cool that cute face down?”

“Chocolate with extra sprinkles.” Alexys declared in a mumble, using the fur to continue hiding her smile. John saw it anyways, though, and smiled back.

A bought of ice cream altar and the two were walking hand in hand, cones held between grips of their free ones and the bear Alexys had one was huddled between them as she tried to eat her ice cream over it’s massive amalgamation of fur. He couldn’t help but admire how adorable she was, tucked together in his hand with ice cream and a prize almost as big as she was. His face heated up to immeasurable heat as he observed her, grin breaking on his lips as he sighed dreamily at the way she brushed some of her hair out of her face so she could enjoy the ice cream more.

God, he really was in love wasn’t he?

“Oh! John look!” Alexys’ eyes widened and her mouth split into a grin as she pointed down at the massive roller coaster they had initially seen upon their arrival, “It’s there! And the line is short, we have to try it!”

In response, John’s eyes widened with delight as well. Finishing their ice creams as fast as they could, the two made their way to the rollercoaster. Sure enough, they were put on in the next batch of riders, shoes and bear placed in a small and nondescript cubby that the security team kept on the sides for unallowed objects. The strap was put over their bodies, locked in place with a mechanical clicking noise before the announcement of safety blared monotonously over the edge of the speakers around them.

When the ride finally began moving, the lurch in Alexys’ stomach as full fledged and shocking. Her eyes widened as she realized what they were doing. Where they were going. What felt fun in theory was now unnerving in practice to say the least. Her breath quickened as they moved higher and higher, her grip tightening on the ride’s safety bar as she swallowed and looked around. The top was inching closer and, with it, the view of the entire park was breathtaking. Visible from end to end, it shone under them like an ocean of lights and sounds, making everything seem so small compared to where they were.

A hand found hers once again, fingers gripping her own. Alexys turned to face John with wide eyes. He was smiling at her. As the wind whipped against his messy hair, he gazed with such adoration that it almost...surprised her. How could he look so calm when they were so high up? How could he look at her like that? Before she could ask more questions to him in panic, he leaned forward and planted a kiss on her lips, slow and sweet. It tasted like vanilla ice cream and rainbow sprinkles, same as his ice cream order a moment after.

“You look so cute,” He murmured with a grin, “On the top of a roller coaster. I don’t think I’ve ever been more in love.”

There was a moment where she considered getting the words out in return, a smile or giggle...Instead the rollercoaster tipped forward and her stomach went with it, drowning in screaming and laughter as the ride took over both of their senses. Twists and turns lurched them back and forth, filling their minds with adrenaline as both found the courage to wave their hands high above their heads, cheering as the loops sent them careening through the air. Alexys felt the blood in her cheeks as she laughed, bright and excited. Airy and delightful.

The ride came to a halt. Getting out of it was a more dizzying task than not, the both of them stumbling over one another through fits of giggles and light banter as they hugged one another through the exit, bear and shoes back in hand as they escaped the thralls of the park for a moment in favor of sitting down to organize themselves again.

“That was,” Alexys breathed as she tried to find the words through her smile, “intense! And fun, I was so terrified but it was so worth it.”

“Sometimes you need a little adrenaline rush,” John returned, leaning his shoulder on hers with a heavy sigh. She leaned back, eyes shutting for a moment to enjoy the warmth of his form at her side. He was so soft...so kind...and to kiss her on the top of a rollercoaster? It made her smile remembering it.

“Oh, Alexys, look!”

Her eyes opened in time to catch the explosions of light dancing across the sky as the late night fireworks show of the park began to unfold. Each rocket bathed them in several different colors upon their dissipation. She felt her jaw drop in awe at the shapes and sights they created before her eyes. Each display made her stomach clench with delight. Her eyes trailing from the light to the man at her side, she felt her face heat up to see John staring at her. His lips were parted in an awed smile, his eyes narrowed at her in a careful glance.

“Thank-you,” He smiled with sincerity, “For doing this with me...I can’t imagine anyone else I’d want to go on a date like this with.”

Date...though they didn’t use the word out loud, its sudden appearance made Alexys smile with approval. How wonderful it was to have that man to herself...to have that laughter and that sincerity all to her.

Leaning forward, she placed a kiss on his lips. He returned the kiss with equal excitement, their hearts pouring into one another as they shared the moment under the fireworks, the sparks of the world above matching what they felt between one another. It felt like the pieces of a puzzle falling. It felt like the end of a perfect night.

When John pulled away, he rested his forehead on hers. The two sat like that for a while, smiles bright on their faces as he held her hand in his own, bringing it up to kiss her knuckles while taking in a deep breath and sighing gently.

“I love you,” He murmured, “More than rollercoasters and ice cream, I love you Alexys.”

Alexys giggled at the comparison, moving forward to peck his cheek.

“And I love you too.”

To their proclamations, a chorus of fireworks exploded as the grand finale of the park’s last showing.

An explosive end to a perfect night.

[bliphany]

5, 10, 11 (feel free to answer only one or all of them) for the fanfic meme thingy, with your JessiKara fic. :)

[from this ask]

!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS ARA

*****Long post alert*****

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Actually, I came up with the pairing before the story. It was February 2017, and @talking2thesky​ made a Person of Interest Femslash Rarepair post for Femslash February. It was the first time I heard about the event, and I thought it was awesome. The post caused me to brainstorm at, if I don’t remember it wrong, 2 or 3 a.m. HAHA. My brain went through those ladies, and suddenly it occurred to me that Jessica/Kara could work in a canon divergent AU. It started like this:

“Kara is pissed because Reese gets distracted by his ex gf - the connection between him and the world they shouldn’t go back to anymore. On her R&R, Kara pays Jessica a visit, trying to gain some information so she can use it to annoy/control Reese, but instead, she finds Jessica’s husband is an asshole and that Jessica is in an abusive relationship. She kills Peter because that’s what she joined the CIA to do; kill bad people so the world will be safer. She should leave after that, but she keeps coming back…”

Then Sky and I talked about it. It was a wild and fab brainstorming, and then I found that once I touched the possibility of Jessica being alive, I wanted it to happen, so I took Femslash February as motivation and finished my first fanfiction. :D

The final product is a lot different from the premise I first came up with, which I’ll save to answer in 11 because those I changed along the way while writing it are those I like best about it.

(But I just find out the original premise can produce a more angst one ahaha, so I’ll put it on my list. :p)

5: What part was hardest to write?

Jessica’s and Kara’s relationship itself is pretty hard to write tbh. Firstly, if she stays alive, Jessica is a victim of domestic violence/ abusive relationship, and we know Kara has that manipulative/abusive side from the show, which is enforced further in fanon, too. The last thing I want to do is to save Jessica from one abusive relationship just to put her into another, so I put a lot of effort into it. For example, my Kara has to care about Jessica a lot, but she probably shouldn’t be overprotective to the extent that it represses Jessica’s free will. The core reason they end up together can’t be “Kara saves Jessica’s life from Peter.” And it should be explainable that why the Kara Stanton who did manipulative things to Reese treats Jessica differently without making her a completely different character from who she was in the show. I gave myself a lot of restrictions XDXD I feel they turn out to be beneficial to the story though!

11: What do you like best about this fic?

It was my first time writing in English, so apparently, the prose isn’t super beautiful, and there are many grammar mistakes. But those I like best are the thoughts I put into the fic and what they grew up and became, which surprised me.  For example, different from the original premise, instead of killing Peter directly, the part Kara played in saving Jessica was to help her to help herself without Kara knowing it. A pro in this approach was that Jessica had more agency and played a more active role in her life. She did act stronger than I initially expected. I had so many scene plans where Jessica played a more passive role, and all of them didn’t live through the second drafts because they just didn’t work. As a result, I think I can say my Jessica is what I like best.

I also like that, although it was only briefly mentioned in the passing, Jessica has friends other than Kara in her life after getting rid of Peter. (Also, if we count the Jessica Lives AU series as a whole fic, she and John reunite and stay good friends. She plays a part in the story line after Ordos and where Dead Reckoning happens, too because she’s Jessica XD) I like that the fic probably can pass the Bechdel test LOL. They talked about things with each other, and their topic wasn’t mostly about men. Which seemed a bit hard to me at first since the primary mission was to save Jessica from Peter, and they both knew John. (Kara wouldn’t reveal it of course, but he’s still Jessica’s ex bf who she certainly thought of now and then, so I had to come up with plot or motivations that at least reasonable to me.) As a fic for femslash, I think it does a not bad job probably.

And finally, the totally unexpected part. I never planed it, but Kara’s and John’s partnership became softer at the end of the first fic, too. (It becomes not that soft when in the second fic after Kara abducted John and wanted to hurt Harold tho! AHASJSDKD but it’s another story.) I was totally in shock when I wrote to that part. I made a note in my diary: “who can expect that Kara’s and John’s relationship resolved earlier than hers and Jess’? Not me.”

Oh my, I have to stop LOLOLOLOL being too emo and talkative because of those girls XDXD. Sorry for the long post ahaha you can see how excited I am :P

[j4ylov]

I don’t play by the rules

Pairing: Peter parker x Stark! reader

Summary: Peter Parker falls hard for the new girl, and while he can’t do anything about it a certain masked hero might.

 word count: 2135

y/bf/n= Your best friend’s name

warnings: slight makeout? 

PART 2   PART 3

sorry in advance for any grammar mistakes, hope you enjoy it! Please tell me what you thought about it! :) 

ALSO! I! AM! TAKING! REQUESTS! SO! SEND! THOSE! IN! :)

It happened on a Tuesday. A regular day you might say, however it was the day everything changed for Peter Parker. There he was on his chemistry class thinking it was just another boring class, another wasted hour, at least he thought that until the door opened, revealing the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

Standing in front of the class was Y/n Stark. Everybody knew who you were, your dad was Iron man, for God sake! You came in the classroom with a designer outfit and bag that was probably more expensive than Peter’s whole wardrobe.

Peter continued to watch you as the teacher told you to seat right at the front of the class. Not only were you a really pretty girl, with the brightest smile and the kindest eyes, but you also had to be very intelligent, since this was the Chemistry AP class. Well of course she is intelligent dumbass! Her father is Tony Stark! She has obviously been in his labs before!

After that first time he saw you everything went downhill. He could never gather the courage to talk to you, let alone ask you out, so he settled for watching you from afar. She probably thinks I’m a creeper, Peter thought, however he couldn’t bring himself to care. He could watch as your smile got bigger when someone told you a joke, and how your eyes will get particularly bright whenever you got a good grade at math. He didn’t care about anything else.

Not long after your arrival to the school he got his so-called “stark internship”,  or his role as Spiderman. This didn’t change much for him. He was still a nerd loser and you were still  a popular girl that was way out of his league.

“Seriously dude! how come you’ve never even said a word to her?” Ned asked Peter as they made their way into the gym.

“Is not that easy Ned! She doesn’t even know I exist!”

“But you are like, totally in love with Y/!” Peter quickly muffled Ned’s mouth, stopping the boy from saying anything else.

“Geez Ned! Don’t you want to shout it to the world?!” Peter started lowering his hand and headed towards the group of people exercising. “You can’t just go around saying that! Someone might hear you!”

“I’m sorry but, like, I still can’t believe it! Don’t you see her everyday? in the, you know, Stark Internship?”

Since Ned found out about Peter being Spider Man he had made questions non-stop, pretty ridiculous questions, if you asked Peter.

“Ned I don’t just hang out at the Avenger’s tower you know? I have to be on the streets! Besides, she is totally off limits I mean! She is Mr. Stark’s daughter! He would kill me if-”

“Shhh- SHhhhhh! Peter listen!”

This time he was the one to shut up as both boys listened to a conversation happening at the bleachers across them. It was Y/n, looking as beautiful as she always did, surrounded by her usual crowd.

“Sooo Y/n, you must be surrounded by all those superheroes at your house right? You know, because of your dad?

“Well not all the time, but yeah, they hang out pretty often” She responded, trying to sound chill about the topic. Not everybody noticed, but Peter knew just how tired she felt about having to talk about his dad and the avengers all the time. None of the people that followed her around really knew her. Yes they knew about her life and her family, but besides that no one seemed to take interest in getting to know her for real.

That was kind of the reason why he prefered to hide his identity. Well, that and the possibility of being kidnapped and killed.

“Are you friends with them?”  “Are they nice?” “Are they hot?” “Is Captain America a real blonde?”

A load of questions were asked at you, however one catched Peter’s attention again.

“Are you friends with spiderman? Do you know who he is?”

“I’ve actually never talked to him, he’s never at the tower when I’m there” she replied shrugging her shoulders. She really was clueless to the hero’s identity.

“Seriously Y/n? Weren’t you supposed to be Spiderman #1 fan?” Y/bf/n asked, as she wiggled her eyebrows at Y/n.

A blush spread to the girl’s cheeks as she smiled shyly. Of course she had a tiny crush with Spider Man (even though she didn’t have a clue of who he was), however he never seemed to hang around the tower as the other Avengers. Maybe he liked being alone.

The conversation was quickly dropped after the coach told them all to get back to work, however Ned was not done.

“Dude! She likes you!” You have to talk to her tonight!”

“She doesn’t like me! She likes Spider Man, not Peter, besides-”

“I swear to God that if you don’t make a move on her tonight I will stop being friends with you! You have to promise me you will try! Deal?

“Deal”

—

Could it be possible that the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on had a thing for him? Even if it was the suit she was in love with Peter couldn’t stop the smile that crept through his face all day and the knot he felt on his stomach every time he looked at Y/n.

And that is exactly why he found himself later that night ready to go talk to the girl of his dreams. He already knew the crew will be out with Mr Stark in some mission he was not allowed, so that cleared the way for him. And anyways he was always welcomed in the tower, at least that what they always told him.

“You can do this Peter, you got this”

Peter tried to give himself a little of motivation before knocking on your door,however he couldn’t find the strength to raise his hand and knock on it, he felt like a bundle of nerves! None of his previous fights or encounters had him feeling this way, he seriously needed to control himself! Peter tried once again to knock on the door only to be stopped when the door opened completely, revealing Y/n in her pj’s and her glasses, apparently ready to go to bed.

Both teenagers looked at each other with complete shook in the faces, one behind his mask of course. The girl was completely speechless, she couldn’t believe the Spider Man was in front of her! And had seen her in just some sweats! She blushed deeply as she realised her appearance.

Peter tried to think of something, anything to say to her, however he couldn’t seem to find the words. After a long silence Y/n finally broke the silence as she leaned against the door.

“I can’t believe Spider Man is at my door! To what do I owe the pleasure?”

The girl was trying to keep it together, however she was still freaking out, but she couldn’t let her stupid crush affect her! This was her chance to get to know him! She could feel her flirtier side creeping up, trying to smile wider and lean closer to the boy.

“Well- I umhh- I just wanted to- you know- visit my favorite Stark” Peter said as he tried to recover from his initial shook.

“Then I guess you are looking for my dad, however he is not around”

“I actually meant you, I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time now”

The girl was surprised by what the boy had just said. Did he know her? How come they had never met before?

Y/n started moving inside her bedroom once again, looking over her shoulder to continue “Since I’ve got no plans for tonight you might want to hang for a while, you know, to get to know each other and stuff”

Peter did not need to be told twice before he followed her around and into her room. Well, bedroom was an understatement to what her place really looked liked. It seemed more like a apartment of her own, with a big tv are, followed by what appeared to be her studio with a shit ton of books and finally her actual bed. She went into the couch in front the TV as Peter followed her close behind. She finally seated down facing the boy.

“Why are you here with me right now and not saving the world as usual?”

“Can’t a man take a break every once in awhile? Besides, I’m pretty sure your dad is taking care of that at the moment”

“You are probably right, sooo anyways..You said you had wanted to meet me for a long time, so here I am, what is it that you wanna know?”

“Well nothing in particular- it’s just that- you are- you are a really beautiful girl”

The girl felt herself blush at the words of the boy behind the mask. He probably did have a thing for her then? There was only one way to find out the truth.

Y/n leaned closer to Peter, looking into what she supposed were his eyes and took him by the shoulder as she played with the curls in the back of his head.

“So you think I’m a beautiful girl?” She said with a teasing voice, trying to make the boy a little nervous, obviously succeeding.

“The most gorgeous I’ve meet”

Peter could say this without any hesitation. Right in front of him was the most beautiful girl on earth. Her big eyes were looking at him and she was even closer than before, he was getting kind of nervous, but her fingers in his hair kept him just in place, right where she wanted him.

“So if I’m so beautiful, how come you’ve never paid me a visit before?”

She had started talking in mere whispers, now moving her other hand into his chest, playing with the material of his suit.

“I wanted to!- I totally wanted to but- you know your dad’s rules right? I’m not really allowed to”

She started to lift his mask, revealing only his mouth before saying.

“Well Spider-boy, you should already know I don’t play by my father’s rules”

Right after she finished she crashed her lips into Peter’s making the boy let out a surprised gasp. He was kissing her! They were kissing! He couldn’t believe it!

Meanwhile the girl was feeling exactly the same. She didn’t knew where she got the guts to do it, but she was glad she did.

His fingers sanked  into her hair as they continued kissing, Peter finally out of his trance brought his other hand to the girl’s face and cupped it, deepening the kiss further.

He felt himself biting into the girl’s lips, as a quiet moan escaped her lips. Y/n pulled apart only to straddle his hips with her thighs and roll her hips along the way, giving them both a little of the friction they needed, but not enough.

Peter grabbed her waist trying to pull her closer to him, his hand making their way to her legs, touching and stroking her thighs. They were heavy breathing, kissing longer, harder, rougher. Both teenagers tried to take and taste as much as possible, urgent and desperately, fighting for dominance.

He pulled apart and went straight for her neck, sucking and biting, leaving what would sure become hickeys by the morning. His morning somewhat bored with her long legs moved to her hips once again, before sliding under her t-shirt and holding her closer, moving his hand right under her bra.

The soft whimpers that would leave her mouth every time he bite a specific part kept him going. Another movement yet another time they would feel that friction and that need to pull harder at the other.

Y/n as getting pretty tired of that stupid mask getting in the way, so she pulled apart ready to get it off him, however a noise down the kitchen distracted her. She heard her dad’s voice calling for her! The whole team was there already? How had they missed it?

Peter realised the situation as well  as he quickly pull stood up and headed towards the window.

“I really have to get going, I’m sorry!”

“Will I see you again?”

Peter pulled the girl close to him for one last kiss, a long lingering one. A kiss he had dreamed over and over again.

“Sooner than you think”

With this last words the boy pulled his mask down and disappeared through the window, swinging his way from building to building.

Man! He could not wait to tell Ned the good news!

[ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff]

A Mutual Mourning (Collins x Reader)

Requested by @sweetsugarhoneyfics: Can I request something Ash? I got this idea from reading Complementary. Collins is dating a nurse, they regularly write each other. One day he's informed she died. He's so heartbroken that he keeps sending letters to her even knowing she isnt reading. Months later he gets a reply from a nurse who worked along his passed gf. She admits she has read his letters and knows how he feels cause she's lost her bf at war. So they start bonding over their losses, and eventually fall in love.

AN: Again not really great I’m so sorry. I’m crying/trying my best through these exams. Also I forgot to add the interactive bit for like an hour oops sorry again

Masterlist     Gif Credit

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Collins was not given leave during his mourning. If that were standard, no one would be there to fight the war. He was left helpless with the letter from her family saying that his girl was killed in an air raid, just one of the many casualties. He couldn’t imagine anything worse and he didn’t want to think of that either.

He distracted himself with writing his feelings on paper and stuffing them at the bottom of his suitcase. It worked for a while. But what soon got him was that his darkest emotions were underneath his bed, just sitting there.

An idea popped into his head. It was a waste of paper, ink and stamps. He posted letter after letter to a no longer existing person. But to Collins at least, it felt like he was close to her again. Sealing the envelope was like a stitch over the open wound

The time between letters sent grew and soon Jack was sending a letter once a month. Catharsis underway but he never forgot her and looked upon their time together with fondness instead of depression. That was until an unexpected letter arrived one day. It was in an unfamiliar hand. Curiosity led him to open it sooner rather than later and Collins took a seat on his bunk as he read the letter.

Collins,

I hope you forgive the invasion of privacy. I was merely collecting my friend’s belongings to send to her remaining family when I came across all these letters, dated after her death.

I’m sorry for reading your letters; they were incredibly intimate but I couldn’t leave them unread. You see, finding a person who knows exactly what you’re going through is rare. My friend rather kept to herself but she spoke about you often. Forgive me if I’m wrong but it feels like you might be the only one who can understand me. You see, I lost my partner too.

Again, what you wrote was beautiful. I’m sorry you lost her.

Y/N

What should’ve been reopening the wound and restarting the mourning process ended up soothing Collins. There was a swelling in his chest as he smiled at the paper. Someone was listening to him and understanding him.

He flipped the letter over to see that the return address neatly printed with an added PS from Y/N about how the inclusion of the address was pointless since she worked at the same place as the intended recipient of Collins’ letters and a request that he write back if he’s comfortable. Collins laughed shortly to himself. It was barely a huff but it came with the tiniest of smiles and that meant something. He just didn’t know what yet.

The train whistle shocked Collins out of his daydream to remind him that the next station was his. It was almost a sign that he should stop. He’d been thinking about Y/N, what she looked like, sounded like, felt like. Almost smacking himself for the last thought, Collins shuffled in his seat. There was a deep set guilt inside him that he was disregarding his previous love for her friend, or worse only feeling an attraction to Y/N as a rebound.

The countryside was a sufficient distraction for the short interlude between stations and soon enough Collins stepped off the train to begin the walk to his home. It was a forty five minutes trek but he’d just been sat for hours. The leg stretch was good for him. Plus he packed light.

He was welcomed home with open arms and plenty of tears. It was for five days but that was more than he’d had in months. He nearly cried in his mother’s arms and fully welcomed the force feeding he received from what must’ve been a week’s worth of rations.

A series of knocks spread through the house. Half expecting it to be his next door neighbour, Collins opened the door up. It was a stranger, a woman in a dark green dress and clutching her bag.

“Hello,” She said, slightly out of breath, “Sorry, does a pilot named Collins live here?”

Amused, Collins nodded, “Yes.”

A smile broke out on her face and she spoke, “I’m Y/N, I’ve been writing to him.”

She was nothing like he’d thought she would be but Collins was nevertheless blown over by her. Her face was somehow familiar and he suddenly had the recollection of seeing her face in the background of a photo sent by his beloved. She was more charming in real breathing colour than in blurry black and white.

“I found one of… my friend’s letters and this was the return address. I had time off so I thought maybe I could find him. Is he in and, if so, may I speak with him?”

“You’re speaking with him now,” Collins revealed with a less than lacklustre “ta-da” tone.

“Oh!” Y/N’s face broke out in a bright smile that made Collins weak at the knees, “Hello!”

“Hello,” He nodded, feeling a flush stretch up his neck.

“I should’ve recognised you, there was a picture she had of you by her bed…” Y/N drifted off, sensing that this was an uncomfortable topic for both of them, “I’m not sure what to say. I didn’t expect you’d actually be home.”

There was still an ache at the reminder of his deceased love but it was coupled with something else that Collins still couldn’t quite put his finger on. It felt nice though.

“I’m on leave,” He explained.

“Oh I should let you get back to it,” Y/N moved back from the doorstep but Collins quickly interjected.

“Would you like to come in?” He followed and pointed behind him inside the house.

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” She paused with her brows adorably furrowed, “Although, in saying that, I don’t think there was a nice outcome from arriving at your house that wouldn’t involve me coming inside.”

They both laugh awkwardly, hands fidgeting with other hands and scratching hairlines. Eager to spend more time committing her presence to memory, Collins stepped aside to let her in. He didn’t really think through what his mother was going to say, nor did he care.

Albeit initially uncomfortable, the conversation flowed between the two of them and without one mention of the person uniting them. She was still there, with them in spirit. However now there was something new and exciting for Collins and Y/N. The sadness ebbed into nostalgia just as the guilt faded away into remembrance and love. 

Perma-tag: @tomgcsglasses, @lowdenglynnstyles, @prettyboytgc and @lowdensnose

[a-soul-long-forgotten]

I never do this but hella personal drunk post

I have had an incredibly bad day. My fiance is trans and my sister informed me earlier today that my father who has always been my best friend and my safe haven called me a faggot and criticized my lifestyle earlier this week. It’s not like I just came out and he was suffering from shock, which I could more easily forgive. He has known for 3 years that I am pan and has known about my transgender boyfriend for about 2 years. I just felt as I had been punched in the gut because he had been lying to me for 2 years, pretending to be fine with the whole situation when he was obviously not. I understand that he had probably been holding all of this in for a long time and it just finally bubbled over and spilled, revealing itself to my sister, but it’s always a strange situation when you feel the need to tell your own father to “grow a pair” and be honest about how he feels about you which I did today. It doesn’t help that I just sent a message to my ex that is currently floating around in cyber space and unable to erase from time and space. My boyfriend asked me not to initiate contact with this guy btw. (he was fine with small talk initiated by the other party since my ex and I have been friends since the 4th grade and my bf is the most kind and understanding person on the face of the planet). So I’m feeling super guilty even though I only asked my ex how life was treating him and felt the need to over explain that I was only asking about his well-being as a human being. So I’m not looking forward to that awful, awkward conversation I have to have with  my fiance in the morning. I’m not sure why I’m posting this other than to vent and maybe receive reassurance that I’m not a terrible human being for having inexplicably complex emotions while severely intoxicated after a bottle of rum.  

[danielenwl472-blog]

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[whistlewhileiblogit]

Warning: LONG POST Being the "Crazy Ex Girlfriend" (with a lot of Arthur Morgan praise)

So on another post (forgot which one welp) I commented saying Arthur Morgan should be the standard for men. I stand by what I said.

And I was thinking, why the hell aren't more men like that? Then it hit me.

Because men see themselves as such already.

So many men put themselves in that role, despite not fitting it at all. They think that they are kind, and loyal and honest...whatever traits you can think of, they believe they are.

And this even includes the ones that jokingly say, "oh I'm an asshole". Because to them that's just it, a joke. They don't really think they're an asshole. Yet one way or another they reveal themselves to be just that.

How many times do men say "you're over reacting"? Or, "you're acting crazy"? And then when you call them out on their bullshit they straight out deny it?

The more I think about my interactions with men- brothers, boyfriends, friends -they all seem to have that in common. They all think they're the "good guy", the "hero" and/or that women are always the problem, or being too dramatic, or to blame, etc.

Allow me to give a few personal examples:

- My first (and only "official") boyfriend of four years constantly lied to me, and was also emotionally manipulative despite that I frequently called him out on it (he once blamed me for his suicide and said I would regret doing nothing to stop it). He also would rile me up over text, then proceed to ignore all my messages/calls. Towards the end of our relationship this worsened to the point where he continually had his friends under the impression I was a "crazy girlfriend". Despite all of this he still saw himself as this martyr, this saviour to me because he frequently tried to buy me off with gifts. He always made sure to mention "all he did for me" in arguments.

- The second ever dude I kinda sorta not really was seeing. I told him straight up from the start I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I was pretty certain I didn't want a relationship yet. He said he fine with it, happy to "see how things go", until one day he got mad at me for not wanting to be introduced to his family and friends as his girlfriend. Proceeded to tell everyone I was "crazy", that I ruined "the best weekend of his life", etc.

- Multiple guy "friends" I've had. Each of these were always just friendships to me. I made that clear. I spoke in a way that showed that. Yet they developed crushes on me. They can't help that, obviously, but then of course each asked me out. And what did I do? Politely reject them. Out of the 5 (I think?) guys over a period of many years, only TWO of them accepted it and dropped it. Oddly enough, those two each got girlfriends a few weeks after. The other three? One of them basically dropped me as a friend completely, another said he wanted to still be friends, which I tried for about four or so years, despite him frequently asking me out over and over again. Each time I said no. He tried to guilt trip me once saying "is it because I'm fat?" which was bs because at the time my well-known crush (who later became my first bf) was fat himself, and actually far heavier than him. Even when my bf and I were dating, he continually pursued me and put my bf down in the process. Not to mention what I think was his attempt at negging me (which obvi didn't work on top of his emotional manipulative behaviour). Eventually enough was enough, and I decided I didn't want to be friends anymore. And the third guy? I had NO idea he liked me, and I never thought of him that way anywho. He and I were becoming really close friends in a time where I didn't have many (I was so nervous making new friends at uni so it was exciting for me). He was really cool at first. Hella funny, and we could dnm about almost everything. Then one day he finally tells me over text that he, and our two other friends (who were dating each other) had formed this plan to try and set us up. I was mildly offended that my friends hadn't even come to me and asked if I was even interested, but let it go. So once again, I told him sorry, I'm not interested. He lowkey sulked that he'd figured he "wasn't my type" because I was always going on about Joel (from TLoU) due to my massive crush on him. He even had the nerve to say that I was "too picky" when it came to dating. After that, he started treating me differently. He wasn't nice anymore. He was actually being intentionally mean. Constantly picking on me in the group chat, etc. When I called him out on it, and told them I wasn't finding the "jokes" funny anymore, what did he do? Tell me I couldn't "take the banter" and that it was my fault because "I'm an easy target". A massive fight ensued and he left the group chat as if to say he'd "won". We haven't spoken since.

I could go on. I could tell soooo many anecdotes of my own, old friends, you name it. Men, on average, seem to all have this air of confidence that they think excludes them from being a decent fucking person.

Men frequently tell me about their "crazy" exes. How women "ruined" them and their lives. How they "just want a normal chick". And in the same moment will turn to me and say shit like, "I'd love a girl like you." or "you're a good chick, you're marriage material."

I'm meant to take it as a compliment. I know that is how I'm supposed to interpret these odd, (kind of) creepy comments.

The worst part is that if I DID date them, and it turned sour, in the end I will undoubtedly be called "crazy" or what have you, most likely. It seems to be a pattern that girls are always the crazy ones.

To swing back to my original point; men always assume they're the good guy.

I know in relationships, particularly in breakups, everyone wants to be the victim, the one who's been wronged. Hell, I am certain I was like that in my teen years.

But the thing is, girls and women are used to taking the blame. We are so often called crazy for the things we say and do that we start to believe it. And we begin to scrutinize our own behaviour. The amount of times my girl friends (and myself included) have admitted, "I could have handled myself better/I was caught up in my emotions/maybe I'm being too hard on him/he's just a guy" etc, compared to guys who have said something like that to me?

I cannot think of one time a guy I know fully admitted his own faults, or apologised without a girl initiating it. Again, because guys think they're the hero in their story.

They think they're all Arthur Morgan's. They think that because they start out gentlemanly and affectionate that that excuses their other shitty behaviours when they come to light.

I legit had a guy friend tell me deadass that he and his girlfriend never called each other just to say things like, "where are you/when are you coming home?" because he considered it an invasion on his privacy.

I mean, what? Checking in on your loved one is a bad thing now?

I'm just gonna say this: if you consider having a girlfriend (or anyone in a committed relationship) any of the following, YOU SHOULD NOT BE IN A RELATIONSHIP:

- A "ball and chain"

- Anything that you consider to be "keeping you down"

- A hassle or a nuisance

- An effort (that you don't see as worth the effort)

- Annoying while talking about their interests, hobbies, goals, etc. (basically if talking in general or not talking about things you are specifically interested in is annoying to you)

- You almost never see them already and yet still say "I need space"

- You are dating out of some sort of obligation you feel ("I might as well" "I've gotta get married eventually")

- You are only thinking of ways they can serve you (are they marriage material? Give good head? Obedient? Quiet?)

- You never actually think about them in a selfless way (you don't make an effort to remember birthdays, or things important to them)

- You don't ever make any sacrifice or compromise for them, yet constantly expect them to do it for you

- You think that offering them favours (giving them a lift, taking them to an appointment) will earn you brownie points, instead of doing it because you want to help them out

- You consider it a favour to do something that is at least in part your responsibility ("I'll pay for your birth control this time...")

- You see them as "holding you back" from being with other people sexually, OR you flirt with other people (I had a guy continually flirt with me, telling me how attractive I was because I played video games, all while his gf was in another room)

So all in all, this has been a long, bitter post saying men ain't shit.

And before anyone gets on my ass for it, no, I am not talking about "all men". Anyone who knows me personally knows I really love men...mostly. But sometimes shit has to be said. And in my defense, if you are a man who's first instinct is to say "not all men!!" you're probably part of the problem.

Men, try to be more like Arthur Morgan, or whatever hero of whatever story. Don't assume you already are one. Remember, Arthur didn't start off as a hero, either.

[adambstingus]

12 Guys Reveal What A Woman Did In Bed That Changed What They Expected From Sex Forever

1. I finally came from a blowjob

My current girlfriend was actually one of my best friends for a year or two before we started dating. As such, she knew a lot of things about me that GFs typically wouldn’t… for instance, that I had never gotten off from a blowjob before.

Our first time messing around, she suddenly gets all dominant on me and telling me what to do. This was a really big shocker because she typically she can’t even decide if she’s hungry or not. Anyways, she goes down, and does some serious business for a solid 10 minutes. She’s going at it like her one goal on earth is to ruin this streak of BJs I’ve had with no happy ending. It was great, but didn’t get me there. So she rolls onto her back and instructs me mount her chest and fuck her face. Shit got real. Streak over. The end.

2. She wantedto be fucked to death

Met a girl at a bar. She took me home. Started fucking almost immediately. Standard right? Would have been except we were strangers an hour before this and now she was having me choke her, smack her as hard as I could, and fuck her face…pretty violently…while she laid with her head hanging off the bed.

The whole time a CD with Elton John and Tracy Chapman is playing in the background. The disparity between the vibes of Tiny Dancer/Fast Car and me choke fucking and smacking a strange woman is something I’ll never forget. 9/10 would recommend.

3. Got horny from being tickled

I hate getting tickled, but this girl that I’m with changed that up for me. One day while hanging out, she started caressing my arm and she knows that I can’t handle that because I’m way too ticklish for it. As I tried to yank my arm away, she held my arm firmly so I couldn’t yank it and just kept going. I let her and then soon enough, I wasn’t even laughing.

I was buckling at the the tickling feeling, but instead of laughing, I was getting turned on. She went further up my arm, started tickling my armpits and sides (i hate getting my sides tickled), and next thing I know, I’m hard as a rock.

4. Most natural sex I ever had

Was with a girl and she was very afraid to have sex for the first time because she thought it would hurt (her mother scared her probably so she wouldn’t sleep around). I thus took it slow with her, making out, oral etc.

One day we were making out naked and we were really into it. And she was on top of me and somehow we didn’t even notice how and suddenly I realized we were actually fucking. She first didn’t get it either, but she was riding me. It was the same motion she would do anyways, except I was somehow inside her.

It was the most natural thing I have ever experienced. No words needed. Somehow it just felt so right in that moment that her fears were erased. Later she was embarrassed how easy it was.

And we got pizza that night

5. Made a girl cum by spanking her

Hooked up a girl, during it gave her a little spank (as one will do). Got a strong reaction and that’s the story of the first time I spanked a girl to orgasm.

10/10, would do again.

6. Checked on friend in between fucking

Went out to drink with a neighbor and her best friend. My neighbor ends up getting hammered and I carry her back to her apartment toilet so she can throw up. Once there, her friend and I start making out.

Neighbor ends up passing out on the toilet but since we didn’t want to stop, we continued making out as I carried and tucked my neighbor into bed, and then over her for like 10 minutes until she seemed fine enough to leave. We ended up fucking most of the night, but had a rule that the first one to orgasm during each session had to walk over to the neighbor’s to make sure she was OK.

7. The BJ just happened

Probably going from regular conversation to blowjob in 2 seconds. I was a little caught off guard, never really had it happen like that.

8. All she wanted was a penis inside her

I met this girl online. Lindsey looked super cute in her pics and seemed like she’d be fun. I picked her up and we went to a restaurant for standard date fare. She was super quiet the entire time, it was pretty lame trying to drag conversation out of her and I kind of just gave up figuring she wasn’t into me.

So we conclude the date and I say I’ll drive her home. At this she seems offended and says she wants to come to my place instead. I was surprised but glad she wanted to spend time with me. So we get to my house, I put on a flick and literally 15 mins into the movie she is buck nekkid riding me on my couch. Turns out she was a total nympho and we went at it for about 4 hours with a couple breather breaks here and there. I remember thinking it was hilarious as there were condoms all over my room just from that encounter. I took her home but she came back the next day and we did the same thing all day and evening on Saturday, just nothing but sex. She just wanted a penis in her at all times. She came over a couple times throughout the next week and honestly I was starting to get worn out from all the sex.

We made plans for her to spend the next weekend at my house and I was looking forward to more tiresome grueling but amazing sex all weekend long. Well Friday I text her and she says she’s all about it, then a couple hours later says that she’s changed her mind and is now getting back with her ex bf. I’m thinking… “does he know what you’ve been up to for the past week” lol. But no biggie, I was disappointed but over it pretty quick, she had some screws loose for sure.

But wait.. .there’s more! So my sister had been dating a guy for a while and they had recently moved in together. I liked the guy a lot and spent a lot of time hanging out at their place. So one day he says his brother is coming over to hang out along with his pregnant girlfriend. When they walked in my eyes popped out of my head, the girlfriend was Lindsey! She recognized me but we both pretended not to know one another. I had to take my sister aside and tell her as she knew all about the nympho story. Turns out Lindsey had gotten preggers right around the time we had our little stint and broke it off with the guy, fucked my brains out for a week then got back with him.

9. I almost cock blocked myself

Late night in college as a party is winding down, I’ve been on the porch smoking and talking about art for a couple of hours and completely missing signs from one of the housemates that she wants to show me a painting in her room. She goes inside for a beer, comes back out and sits next to me, then (without much subtlety) hands me her (wet) panties under the patio table.

Now catching on with lightning speed I ask to see the (not particularly memorable) painting and then sex until dawn. We ended up dating for a year and the friends I’m still in touch with continue to make fun of me for almost cockblocking myself if she hadn’t taken the initiative.

10. I found my fetish

Scratching. It was a girl that I had (and still do) have feelings for, but it just felt really good. It was the one time her and I did anything sexual.

It got me into restraining and now I have a set of handcuffs and leg irons that are like handcuffs.

11. “Blind date”

Back in college I got some girls number at a party, completely forgot because me and my friends partied hard that night. On like Tuesday of the next week I get a text from a name I don’t recall but it’s in my phone and it just said “so when are you gonna wine and dine me?”.

I had no idea who this chick was but I told her I’m free Friday night and went on a “blind date” with a girl I had met before. We got pizza and then went out for drinks later.

So I’m wasted, we go back to her dorm room, and one thing leads to another and next thing you know 3 different parts of me had been in her in various parts laces. The “date” part of the date wasn’t very good, but that night was the first time I essentially licked a strangers butthole. Good times.

12. Left the church and got fucked

So I was raised LDS and legitimately tried to go with it, but decided I needed to be happy more than make others happy.

I left the church at 25 a virgin and decided that needed to change to really sever ties and get my new life started. Problem was that the church scared the shit out of me when it came to women that I couldn’t even get it up when the opportunity arose.

I needed someone who was understanding of my situation and turned to my last bastion of hope – Craigslist.

I ended up meeting a flight attendant in her early 40th that was actually attractive. She was in town and had her own hotel for a few days. I brought a bottle of wine and drank 4/5ths of it, I was so damn nervous.

We get down to business and she’s just playing with damp rope for a good five minutes but she was dedicated to the cause.

Ended up fucking her 12 times over two days. Highlights include getting a blowjob in a shower and fucking her in the ass without realizing it.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/12-guys-reveal-what-a-woman-did-in-bed-that-changed-what-they-expected-from-sex-forever/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/173484646592