#my brain is a land of chaos and anime characters

[bakugosgothhoe]

I was typing a list in my phone notes and tried to write Keurig machine and my phone autocorrected it to Kuroo machine and I was like… you know what, that’s better.

[xhaotixaesthetica]

Yandere!Stray Kids Headcanons

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator

You are in: the Asteroid Belt

Author's Note: This is different from the Yandere Ateez headcanons. While they're way less violent, I feel like they're more fucked up in a way. Maybe because they're more sexual?? IDK, just don't go into those expecting the types of yanderes I outlined in the Ateez Headcanons. BEWARE OF HYUNJIN, JISUNG, AND JEONGIN'S, ESPECIALLY JEONGIN'S. SERIOUSLY I DON'T WANT YALL TO GET TRIGGERED FROM MY WRITING.

READ THE TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains DUB-CON, KNIFEPLAY, BRIEF DESCRIPTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, STALKING, HOME INVASION, GROSS INVASIONS OF PRIVACY, STOCKHOLM SYNDROME, DESCRIPTIONS OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS, MURDER, NONCONSENSUAL GROPING AND DEGREDATION, SEVERE BULLYING, AND BRIEF DESCRIPTIONS OF PHYSICAL ASSAULT. The behaviors and relationships depicted below are abusive and unhealthy. These are not examples of healthy relationships, it’s actually the opposite. This is meant to imagine the members of Stray Kids in a popular anime trope and it in no way represents their real-life personalities and characters. Real-life Stray Kids are actually known for being some of the kindest, most respectful idols in the industry. It’s fiction, it’s for fun, PLEASE DON’T READ IT IF YOU KNOW YOU WON’T LIKE IT OR THIS KIND OF STUFF DISTURBS YOU!

Genre: angst, smut, fluff

Word Count: 7.0K+

Chan

The Keeper of the Gilded Cage

Chan as a regular person is very caring and protective of those he loves, and I don't think it would be ridiculous to think that these qualities would also translate over to his yandere side. A relationship with Yandere!Chan would very much start out as a normal relationship with thoughtful dates, caring texts, loads of affection, and overt displays of his more gentlemanly nature.

Chan is smart and Yandere!Chan would be even more so from all the years of hiding his deviant urges.

The isolation would begin gradually, mostly in the form of events that Chan has orchestrated behind the scenes to cause you so much anxiety in your daily life without him that you're too afraid to leave his side. From freak car accidents after him tampering with your car in the middle of the night to your own friends physically attacking you in outrage at the drama that no one knew Chan had started between you and your friends behind the scenes, you would slowly find every aspect of your life devolving into chaos.

But nothing bad would happen when you were with Chan. With him, you never hung out with anyone else so there was never any drama. And any time this "drama" found its way to you and Chan's relationship, he would always talk to you about it and clear up the misunderstanding, better than your friend who had fought and abandoned you without a second thought. With him, your car never had a chance to break down and land you in the hospital because you always rode in his and he would always drive. With him, your card never got declined because he would always pay.

Without your noticing it, your brain had created an association of safety with Chan. Everything always seemed to go wrong in your life, but not him. He was caring and sweet and nurturing and everything was always right in your world when you were with him.

Of course, it was natural that you would begin to stay with him so much.

And Chan loved it. He thrived on your dependence, on being seen as your protector, your knight in shining armor. He loved being needed, being the number one source of love and safety in your life. He knew it was wrong, but to him, being in love, being in a truly committed relationship meant being the center of each other's whole world. You were already the center of his and he didn't particularly mind all of the strings that he had to pull to make sure that he was the center of yours.

I don't see you ever getting punished, because you would likely never find out what Chan had done to orchestrate the dynamic the two of you had. He had created the most impenetrable kind of gilded cage to imprison you in, a cage that existed only because of your own fear and insecurity of your own abilities.

"It's okay to be weak, angel. Everyone's weak, sometimes. But we're strong together. As long as you're with me, I promise that everything will be okay."

Minho

The "Eccentric" Control-Freak

Anyone could get a whiff of trouble from Yandere!Minho from a mile away. It's not hard to tell that there's something dark and burning, like the flames of hell behind his eyes, and he has an intense gaze in those pretty feline eyes that's as much magnetic as it is terrifying.

I think that those qualities would be the very thing that would attract you to Yandere!Minho. Minho, as a normal person, doesn't make any effort to force himself to conform to what society says he should be. He's unapologetically weird, loud, and true to himself, going to any lengths to follow his passions and do what he wants to do, and I think that would be the defining characteristic of Yandere!Minho.

Unlike the vast majority of yanderes, Minho is very upfront about who is is and his nature. Unlike Seonghwa, he's aware his behavior is deviant, out of the normal, and unaccepted by the vast majority of people, and I'm pretty sure that he also knows that it's wrong. He simply doesn't care.

I think there would be less tension in you and Minho's relationship, simply due to the fact that it takes a minute for Minho to get attached enough to someone for his yandere tendencies to begin to show. It's not going to be something that automatically comes out on the first date, and the time it takes for him to develop feelings for you is really your only window of opportunity.

To stay with Minho long enough to develop feelings for him, I would think you are either someone used to being in controlling relationships, or maybe you just don't go places that much so you're not that bothered by it. Or you're just incredibly naive. Either way, you're probably someone that would find themselves acquiescing to his whims a lot.

Minho is quite controlling. He will let you go out on your own, but you have to constantly call and tell him how much you miss him and text him your exact location, what you're doing, and who you're with. If you're not doing those things, then his trust issues will flare up and the moment you get home, he'll be interrogating you about who you were with and what you guys were really doing together.

Minho is quite a sexual yandere, and I see your home life being full of a lot of 24/7 kinks. He would make you walk around with no clothes on so he has easy access, sometimes make you crawl on all fours and act like a cat, make you call him master, etc.

He would be quite affectionate and possessive, often touching you inappropriately in public to prove a point and it wouldn't be out of the ordinary to see him get in an altercation with someone he thought was looking at you too hard.. He would call you lots of pet names and keep you as close to him as possible, often bringing you with him to work or outings with his yandere friends, who had no problem with you and see you as more of an ornament on Minho than an actual person.

I see all of Yandere Minho's punishments involving some sort of sexual element: him carving his name into you while you're tied to the bed, choking you until you pass out during sex, sometimes even going as far as to fuck you in front of the person that he was about to kill for getting too close to you.

Minho doesn't have a problem with violence or killing others, but he definitely has to be in a certain mood for it, otherwise he'll just beat them into a hospital bed or give them a good scare. Most people are aware that you're Minho's significant other, and wouldn't be caught dead around you anyways, so Minho doesn't have to resort to these things often.

Overall, if you're willing to succumb to all of Minho's rules and regulations, he'd be one of the easier stray kids yanderes to get along with.

"It doesn't matter how other people say that we should treat each other. You belong to me, and neither one of us are going anywhere, kitty."

Changbin

The American Psycho

While it's pretty easy for yanderes like Chan and Seungmin to fly under the radar, Changbin is undoubtedly the yandere that people would least expect.

He's known in the community for being a friendly albeit kind of dim-witted guy. He's somehow friends with everyone, wouldn't hesitate to give the shirt off his back when it came to his friends, and was known for throwing incredible parties. Yes, he may be a little dumb but he was bright and optimistic and kind and well-intentioned, right?

No.

Because let's get one thing straight, Yandere!Changbin is far from stupid. In fact, I'd argue that he's one of the most calculating yanderes on this list.

His whole persona: the generosity, the dim-wittedness, his extroversion, even the parties, it's all a part of his facade.

Changbin is very observant, especially when it comes to noticing people's weaknesses and desires. He has an uncanny habit of providing what people want or need the most and that's part of why he has so many friends. And none of his friends are chosen lightly. They're all picked strategically based off of what they can provide him when he most needs it, whether money or access to their resources or even alibis should he be in a particularly tough bind.

It's this facade that makes it particularly easy for him to get to you. In the beginning, he starts off very much like Yandere Chan, courting you with extravagant gifts and dates and attention. But unlike Chan, Changbin would have no problem with showing his true colors.

It wouldn't be for a while, not until he knew you were utterly, madly in love with him.

The next day, you would be walking by yourself, maybe to work or to get a cup of coffee. And the next thing you knew, you were being pulled into an alleyway and pressed against a wall, the hot breath of a man that you had never seen before invading your sense. You could barely hear him through the blood pulsing in your ears, adrenaline short-circuiting your nerves as tears clouded your view of the man. Though you had one idea what he said, it was easy to understand his intentions as his hands roamed your lower back.

His face was leaned down so far that you could almost see each and every one of his clogged pores and just as his disgustingly chapped lips were about to reach yours, his body was wrenched away from you. And as you collapsed in relief, you saw that, against all odds, It was your loving boyfriend Changbin who had rescued you, fists raining upon the man with a vengeance.

And how were you to know that he's staged this whole thing? That he's paid this man to hurt the very person he claimed he would give his life to protect. How could you know that the man you adored was capable of such cold-blooded evil?

The situation had a dual purpose.

Yes, there was the added plus of our undying devotion, your grateful smiles, and loving words as you saw him as your savior.

But the real show came a few weeks later, when he was beyond sure that he had your complete love and trust.

That was the day that you walked in on him killing someone.

And he would be his true self, unapologetic and calm, urging you to look at the man's face. And when you did, you recognized him. It was the man who had assaulted you weeks earlier.

Changbin had already cut out of the man's tongue so he was unable to warn you that your lover was the very man who had caused you to be assaulted. And Changbin kept justifying it, saying how could he allow the man who had wronged his love so badly to continue to breathe. How could he allow this man to keep roaming the street when he knew he would likely do it to someone else?

And considering how hed over heels you were for Changbin, he knew it would be a lot easier to accept murder if it was for a reason you perceived as being righteous.

Maybe it would take you time to accept and Changbin would pretend to give you that time, all the while hiring private investigators to follow and keep tabs on you and make sure you didn't do anything rash.

And when three days went by and you still hadn't gone to the cops, he knew that he had you.

After this, the reasons for murder start getting more and more insignificant, until eventually, you'd walked in on him killing so many people that it was nothing more than background noise to you. The reason didn't even particularly matter. You knew, deep-down-was that the reason was nothing more than the fact that Changbin simply wanted you to see it so that you would be desensitized to it.

And it got to a point where you found it hard to care.

No matter whose flesh he had sunk his blade into the night before, when the sun rose and he crawled back into your bed, hair still wet from the shower that washed the sticky blood off of him, he still kissed your cheek so tenderly that one would think you were made of glass. He still put his arms around you so tightly that all the world knew how afraid he was of losing you. He still made love to you like you were the last person on earth.

While Changbin does meet the qualifications for a serial killer, he isn't necessarily putting these things in your view because he likes killing so much that he can't stop. He's doing it because it's the only way he knows to show you the darkest parts of him that do not shy away from doing things like this.

And once he knew you understood that, that you had accepted him at his worst, you would stop walking in on killings. You knew the monster that hid under your boyfriend's skin and you kept his secrets. For that he would give his love only to you for the rest of your lives. Whether you wanted it or not.

While Changbin would never hurt you physically, he is by no means above kidnapping, maiming, or even murdering one of your friends or family members if that's what it took to keep you in line.

"Always remember what I am, precious. Always know the evil that lies next to you in bed, protecting you while you sleep. And always remember that if you ever betray me, it could be your loved ones under my knife next."

Hyunjin

The Sadistic Secret Admirer

Hyunjin as a yandere would be extremely scary, because he is unused to feeling so intensely about anything as he does about you. He doesn't know how to handle the intense emotions you well up inside him and it can cause intense mood swings on his part.

Most confusing to him are the urges you bring out in him that he never knew he had.

Hyunjin has always been considered a good person, by himself and by those around him. Yes, he's a little shy, but he's friendly and knows how to use his naturally dramatic personality for comedic effect to sheer people up. He's artistic, kind, sensitive, talented, and, not to mention, drop-dead gorgeous.

Hyunjin had dated before, even fallen in love a few times, but it had never seemed to work out. There was always something missing, some invisible roadblock between him and the object of his affection.

For the longest, he couldn't figure out what it was.

Until he met you.

And, all of a sudden, it was like the love he had heard about in the movies. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move. His vision tunneled until you were all his eyes registered, and a sort of still haze fell over his mind as he knew. Nothing else mattered but you.

And Hyunjin knew you had to be his soulmate.

In that one moment, he completely unraveled at the seams, his grip on reality being replaced with one built on fantasy and delusion and you.

Hyunjin had to go to the nearest bathroom on campus to get away from you. The only way he could pull himself together was to be away from your intoxicating scent and your hypnotic eyes.

As he looked at himself in the mirror, he could swear he saw your whole future together stretching out before him in every breath he took and every dilation of his pupils. He saw every kiss, every touch, every declaration of love, a grand wedding, kids, and...crying??

In every fantasy of you, Hyunjin saw you crying every time you made love. He saw fear and love warring in your eyes, tears pouring down your face that made him pop a boner right there in the middle of the restroom.

Hyunjin was confounded.

He'd never thought things like this. He'd never thought of his previous lovers being as afraid of him as they were in love with him, much less him purposefully being the cause of their fear.

Hyunjin avoided you the whole day, disturbed at this new development in his mind, and yet he couldn't get the image of you crying out of his head. He couldn't stop thinking about how you would look when you were afraid of the man you loved, feeling complete and utter power over you, and knowing that the life of the person that gave his existence meaning was completely in his hands..

After a week, the disgust had ebbed, replaced by the devouring need to see you, to be in your presence again. Each second away from you felt like agony and Hyunjin was noticeably weaker, unable to eat or sleep properly when he couldn't see you. Were you okay? Had someone hurt you since he'd last seen you? What if you'd gotten a boyfriend or a girlfriend?

Hyunjin knew he had to make you his. He was afraid of what he would do to you or the people around him if someone else got to you first.

It wasn't hard for Hyunjin to befriend you. Even you, a new student to the university, knew of the reputation that Hyunjin held and you were flattered at the attention he was giving you, grateful for a friend there to make your transition from universities easier.

It wasn't long before you started to fall for him, and Hyunjin was well aware of it, but he was enjoying the pining, so you both continued on, best friends with obvious feelings for each other but both two scared to do anything.

It was a few weeks afterward that the secret admirer gifts started. They were innocuous at first, short love letters with candy and bracelets and flowers.

They would be left in harmless places, the seat you always sat in in your poli sci class, on your library book when you got up to get a book while studying, in your backpack if you left it open at the cafeteria.

It was something sweet for Hyunjin, and yet, all the while, he couldn't help but wonder how you would look all paranoid and scared if he upped the ante.

So, one day, he randomly starts leaving the gifts at your house.

It has the effect he desires.

You vent to him about this secret admirer who you once thought was sweet and now you couldn't help being scared that they were a creep.

And Hyunjin played the role of the understanding, protective best friend, taking you into his arms and hugging you, knowing full well that when he was staking out your house and saw the fear in your eyes as you opened his gift, he jerked himself to completion right there where he was standing in the bushes.

Your fear was even more intoxicating than he thought it was.

He tells himself that it's harmless, just a bit of fun, that he's making up the terror he's bringing into your life by being a good friend. He tells himself lie after lie, but deep down he knows the truth.

He knows that he'll have to put his cards on the table some time soon. And after that, he would never let you go ever again.

When Hyunjin sneaks into your apartment one fateful night, stealing you away, he gets the exact look he dreamed of on that very first day you met and he feels in his bones that this is how it's supposed to be.

He stands you in the mirror, his front to your back as he restrains you firmly in his arms, one hand over your mouth as he forces you to watch as the man who was once your best friend and your closest confidant reveal himself to be your biggest threat. He sees the fear for this man who had stalked you for months war with the adoration for the man who had been there when no one else was.

And he knew that, once he got you to his home, isolate and alone, it wouldn't be hard to make those ideas of him merge, twisting your mind until you were as sick as he was. Until you got off on your fear of him even more than he did.

Whatever sanity Hyunjin had left was well and truly gone.

Now, Hwang Hyunjin lived for your fear and your love.

"It was so hard to keep the secret that it was me all along, angel. I just can't fucking help myself! Don't you see what you do to me? Don't you see how fucking crazy you make me?!"

Jisung

The Pervert Next Door

Not to say that the other yanderes aren't, but Yandere Han Jisung is an absolute fucking weirdo.

Jisung would be what you typically think of when you think of a yandere: a socially-awkward incel with no social life/skills, a "nice guy" mentality, a porn addiction, and an obsession with boobs to rival that of a prepubescent boy.

When you first move into the house next to his, you don't think much about the fact that you've never seen your neighbor to the left of you. It's quite normal to not know one's neighbors nowadays, and you're so busy with your day-to-day life that you don't even really notice much.

To be fair, in those early days, Jisung didn't know about you either.

He's quite the shut-in, working on music in his dark bedroom when he's not binging anime and about to burn his apartment down trying to make spaghetti. He rarely leaves his place, unless he's being dragged out by Minho, Hyunjin, and Felix to get some air or Chan and Changbin so they can actually get some music done in a real recording studio.

Jisung, undoubtedly, knows that a new neighbor has moved in, but plenty of people have come and gone in the neighborhood since he's been there, and he doesn't see how that's any of his business.

It's not until one day when the stars aligned that you happened to be coming back from grocery shopping at the same time Jisung happened to be coming back from a long studio session with Chan and Changbin and Jisung got his first-ever glimpse of you.

In that moment, Jisung would swear that his entire life had changed. He was enamored by your mind, body, and soul (though mostly your body at first) and he knew that he had found the one, his person, his soulmate. Whether you reciprocated or not.

Jisung is the only yandere in stray kids that, if he had his way, would never enter a formal relationship with you.

Jisung wants to be delusional. He tells himself that you are fully aware of him, his existence, your "mutual attraction", and your "relationship. He wants to believe that you both are in a committed relationship, it's just part of your "relationship dynamic" to be in this sort of cat and mouse game where you both are never in the same room and hardly speak and you even see other people but you're both still in love at the end of the day. (I'm telling y'all, he watches way too much anime.)

In reality, Jisung likes the hidden power he holds over you by hardly ever being in the same room as you, yet being able to break into your house when you're gone and jack off to the scent of your underwear or steal your bras. He loves that he can watch you sleeping or getting dressed through the cameras he's installed and the little peepholes he's cut into the wall and you're none the wiser. He loves that he knows all the sweet spots of your shared walls where he can best hear you pleasuring yourself at night. He loves that no matter who you have over to sleep with, he's the one who can sneak into your home at night and use you while you sleep at the end of the day.

Jisung is also 1/3 of the Shrine Line, collecting any disused intimate wear like bras and panties that you might be about to toss or haven't worn for a while as well as used pillowcases and absolutely anything with any of your bodily fluids.

No matter how many times Jisung feeds those delusions about your "unique relationship dynamic" to himself, he knows deep down that the power he has over you, the fact that he can do all these things to you without you knowing about it or even knowing he exists, is what gets him off the most.

While, in my opinion, Jisung is definitely one of the grossest yanderes on the list, considering his long rap sheet of what, frankly, mostly consists of sexual assault and disgusting invasions of privacy, the silver lining is that he is the least lethal yandere on this list. His obsession with fucking with you from afar means he places a to less value on jealously or restricting your movements or controlling you.

The only thing that could happen to trigger a turn for the worst would be if you ever decided to move, but I find that unlikely to happen since Changbin is good friends with your bank that you pay your mortgage to and Jisung could get him to pull out all sorts of tricks to get the bank to force you to stay there.

"My sweet, stupid little Y/N. I own you and you don't even know."

Felix

The Clingy People-Pleaser

Felix is definitely uh...one-of-a-kind.

Felix, like Hyunjin, gave no indication of yandere behaviors to absolutely anyone, including himself, before he met you. Unlike Hyunjin, however, Felix has a major character flaw that is painstakingly obvious to anyone that knows him even remotely.

Felix is a massive people-pleaser.

Felix will go out of his way to do things for people, sometimes helpful, sometimes drastic, just to be liked. Felix has even been known to change aspects of himself just to make his significant others or friends like him more. No to mention the fact that he's clingy, but due to the people-pleasing, he's better at hiding that if it means being well-liked.

Most of this definitely comes from low self-esteem. Felix always felt like he had to try harder as a kid to make friends or not be seen as weird, and it's translated very poorly and prominently into his young adult life, often impeding and ending his relationships which only makes him more paranoid and insecure.

With Felix, your relationship was normal for a long while. Felix has dated plenty of times before without going yandere mode, so I feel like for him to find himself in a relationship where those tendencies are prominent, his significant other has to have shown some sort of attraction to those qualities in himself that he tends to blow out of control.

This isn't to say that it's his significant other's fault that he's acting this way, but more that he can tell that his significant other likes affection, being doted on, taking a lead in relationships, and someone who's flexible and Felix thinks that he's being a good partner by exhibiting these qualities to the full extent that he's capable of, but really he's just making everything uncomfortable by blowing reasonably desired relationship qualities way out of proportion.

Unlike any of the other yanderes on this list, Felix doesn't enter the relationship with bad intentions or ulterior motives, and he truly thinks he's doing the right thing.

It starts off somewhat innocuous, his usual clinginess, acquiescence to whatever you want no matter if it makes him uncomfortable or not, hiding or creating parts of his personality on a whim to make himself more attractive to you. It progresses further into his usual relationship-ending territory, calling you every hour, texting every ten minutes, requiring constant reassurance, changing his behavior or appearance to a disturbing degree once you mention you like something about a celebrity or someone you admired, and getting outrageously unreasonably jealous.

The change to yandere territory would come if you showed yourself to be comfortable with or attracted to these behaviors. This would rock Felix's world, and he would see you as someone who he could be more himself around, which would only make him worse.

Felix isn't particularly a violent yandere, especially not at this point. But he does start crossing a lot of boundaries.

He has a lot of newfound, extremely intense emotions for you that he finds himself completely clueless as to how to handle.

He starts breaking into your house, though for a lot more innocent reasons than Jisung. Felix wants to watch you sleep and just soak in the presence of being around you. It's an insatiable need for him to be around you, one that he finds little to no shame in indulging in the more the relationship goes on.

Felix is another member of the Shrine Line, stealing random things from you with little to no rhyme or reason and placing them on a little table he has stored in the back of your closet along with a bunch of pictures of you from your dates.

Yandere Felix wouldn't really be that dramatic, and for the most part, the relationship would actually be normal, albeit a little toxic and codependent if not for Felix's massive invasions of privacy.

The only time I see Felix's behavior escalating is if you were to ever start spending so much time with another person that he began to seriously think of them as competition for your affection.

Felix isn't like other yanderes, who would meticulously plan these things to a tee. His crimes would be unpredictable, crimes of passion when he was in the throes of dramatic, unjustified fits of panic, anger, or anguish at the thought of this person having the audacity to try and come between you two.

Maybe you find out, maybe you don't, but to be honest, I can't imagine Yandere!Felix turning yandere for someone who isn't at least half as yandere as he is. You'd probably find it romantic, the lengths he would go to be your one and only.

"I-I-I didn't mean to. I hope this doesn't make you think of me differently, but I don't regret it. I adore you, this is nothing compared to the things I would do to be worthy of your love."

Seungmin

The Wolf in Gentleman's Clothing

Seungmin is, without a doubt, the most dangerous man on this list.

His life is perfectly put-together.

He's attractive, he's well-connected, he comes from wealth, he's smart, he's cultured, he's kind, he's respectable, he's athletic, he's generous.

And he's been stalking you since you both were children.

Maybe stalking isn't the right word.

It started as an innocent crush back then in kindergarten, the first time he ever laid eyes on you. Even back then, your school had been intense. As the gifted division of an already prestigious school, most of the time other kindergarteners would have spent or learning to read was filled with vigorous study and competition for you all.

You were one of five students there who weren't nepotism babies, earning your spot there with plenty of pressure from your parents and an academic scholarship that you could maintain only through hard work and sacrifices.

You and Seungmin were top of your class, and, though you would think it wouldn't be the case, Seungmin had never been bothered by competition. Why would he be focused on that when all he t=could think of were how sparkly your eyes were?

As you and Seungmin got older, no matter where you headed in life, whether you maintained that gifted kid status or became a troublemaking victim of gifted kid burnout, Seungmin would always remain devoted to you.

Ever since you were kids, he had only ever wanted you and every single thing he had done since then had been to one day make you his.

Maybe it was a reasonable response psychologically. Maybe it made sense that he would be obsessed with something he could have for his own sake and not for the sake of being perfect or making his family look good. Maybe he could have had a normal relationship with you and grew into a man as well-adjusted on the inside as he seemed on the outside if he took advantage of the therapy that was so easily within his reach that other people would kill for.

But he didn't.

Seungmin was well aware that his urges, the burning desire for you and him to possess each other wholly mind, body, and soul were strange and healthy, but he completely and utterly didn't care.

As far as Seungmin was concerned, he lived every aspect of his life for the benefit of other people. You were the one thing he could have for himself. The one thing that brought him direct joy.

If you eventually started making trouble at school, it would be a large point of speculation as to how you were getting away with such things with your scholarship intact at a school that wasn't even as lenient on its nepotism babies as it was on you.

The answer would be Seungmin.

If you ever fell in danger of losing your scholarship, he would swoop in to save it at the last minute, unable to tolerate the thought of going through the motions without you there to make him better.

He would probably befriend you in your last two years of high school, building such a bond with you that it would be impossible for you to resist his persuasion to try for the top university in Korea, the one his parents would be forcing you to attend.

And who would be stupid enough to say no when the university accepted you, offering you a full four-year ride with room and board.

It was a dream come true for you and for him.

Your relationship would flow quite naturally, progressing from best friends to mutual pining to significant others to fiances to spouses in the span of a socially acceptable amount of time.

Life with yandere Seungmin would be probably the easiest of all the yanderes on this list. He would treat you like royalty, paying for everything and taking care of you no questions asked. He would be supportive of anything you did and pull whatever behind-the-scenes strings he had to in order to get you what you wanted.

You could even have a small group of two or three friends, most likely the significant others of the other stray kids yanderes.

The only problem is that you would never really know how much of your life Seungmin was controlling without your knowledge. You really wouldn't know he was controlling anything.

But he was.

Every job you ever got was only because Seungmin approved it, because your working there wasn't a threat to your relationship. Same with your friends. And your family. And any life opportunity that ever came your way.

Seungmin has a bodyguard and private investigator following your every move, reporting your every action and whereabouts to him every hour on the hour and he keeps up with you diligently. You don't sneeze without him knowing about it.

On the off chance someone manages the slip through the cracks and hurt or upset you or jeopardize you two's relationship, they are dealt with swiftly. While Seungmin doesn't have an intense proclivity for violence, he definitely sees it as a way to release his stress every once in a while, especially when it comes to someone who's messed with you.

The biggest change would come once you and Seungmin were married.

It was noticeable during the engagement: increased possessiveness, him getting more handsy, rougher with you during sex, restricting your independence little by little, him going less and less time without you by his side, making strange almost disturbing comments.

And then, on your wedding night, he would turn into a completely different person.

Sweet, doting Seungmin still remained, but he was now accompanied by a domineering Seungmin that kept you on his lap all day and touched you inappropriately inboard meetings just to show others you were his and carved his name into the skin of your inner thighs when you guys fucked.

The thing is, he would want the same treatment. He would cream his pants when you carved your name into his skin, want you to touch him inappropriately in public to show your ownership of him, and would question your love for him if you didn't try to fight every single person who flirted with him or even looked at him suggestively.

Seungmin would gradually pull away from the public eye, running much of his inherited company from home and sending underlings in his place to all but the most important PR events while you and he either stayed home or jetted around the world, always in each other's embrace.

Any time not spent with you is viewed as wasted time in Seungmin's eyes. He feels absolutely no desire for privacy and expects you to feel the same.

Seungmin is so wealthy, powerful, and seemingly completely normal that the both of you would never be caught, and you would likely be so enamored by him and his devotion to you that you would never want to leave anyway.

He won't stop until he has fulfilled his lifelong dream of you and he merging with and possessing each other mind, body, and soul.

"Go on, puppy. She looked at me. I'm yours and she tried to take what belongs to you. What do you think her punishment should be? I think it would be hot if you cut her eyes out. Then she couldn't ever look at other people's property again."

Jeongin

The Bright-Eyed Bully

Jeongin would be the most unstable, unpredictable, and probably the most unhinged yandere on this list.

Everyone on campus loves him. He's hot, athletic, sweet, and hilarious.

With you being the relative nobody you are on campus, no one knows or really even cares why would always seem to avoid him or be uncomfortable with him.

And for good reason, Jeongin's favorite threat was that he would sneak into your dorm and kill your pet if you ever told anyone how he was bullying you.

Because the reality is that Jeongin treated you like a careless child with a worthless toy.

Any time of any day, you would be subjected to being whisked away to an empty lecture hall or storage closet by Jeongin and he would tap into every insecurity you possessed, a sadistic smile on his face as he said the meanest things he could think of, sometimes while slapping your face, kissing you, groping or grinding against you.

The way Yandere! Hyunjin gets off on your fear, Jeongin gets off on your tears.

It's why he makes fun of you, why he tears down your self-esteem, part of why he touches you inappropriately knowing there's nothing you can do to fight him off. Jeongin absolutely adores the way you look when you're crying, especially because of him.

He pulls your hair, slaps you around, yells at you, touches you, and sometimes forces you to touch him, all so he can see the addicting tears and facial expressions you make that haunt him in his dreams.

Jeongin is incredibly possessive over you. In his mind, you two are together, whether you know or want that or not. He doesn't allow anyone to touch or talk to him in a flirtatious way, so you shouldn't either. Except to Jeongin, when it comes to you, someone simply complimenting your outfit or sitting next to you in the campus cafeteria is considered flirtatious to him.

And he makes you pay for it ten times over when the two of you are alone, while also shattering your psyche with the knowledge that he's killed or maimed whoever had been "flirting" with you earlier.

Jeongin could never get bored of your tears, but eventually, he will find himself wanting to be the subject of your affection as well as the cause of your distress.

Since he's already isolated you by punishing you whenever someone "flirts" with you, it's easy for him to scramble your head by suddenly being so nice to you and obviously pursuing you in public. He brings you snacks, pays for your meals, hangs out with you, forces you to go on dates with him, hugs you, pecks you on your cheek, and eventually starts making out with you in public and bringing you everywhere with him.

Jeongin is also the last member of the Shrine Line, taking the things that are most important to you both because he wants to torment you and because he wants to be among the things you consider the most important.

This isn't to say that the bullying and cruelty have slowed down, if anything, it's increased.

But now he's bullying you and dating you in equal measure, and it's only so much the human brain can take before it has to do some fucked up stuff to survive, so now you've grown dependent on Jeongin, seeing his cruelty and degradation as acts of love equivalent to his kisses and his hugs.

Jeongin has you right where he wants you, the "love of his life" a pliant doll to give him all the tears and affection he could ever want.

In Jeongin's mind, it was a fair trade. You do whatever he wants and feed his sick urges and he "loves", cares for, and protects you from others for the rest of your life.

"See, butterfly? You're as fucked up as I am. You like when I hit you, when I tell you how fucking stupid you are, when I hurt you. You're even sicker than I am, hmm? Who else is going to love your little pervert self better than I am?"

The Asteroid Belt

[fushiglow]

mini soundtrack review!!

i was so worried about the music for season 2 of jjk after alisa okehazama and hiroaki tsutsumi left the team, but yoshimasa terui has really come into his own with the freedom to create a score that suits his style, rather than working around other people.

i feel like the music for season 2 brings us a lot closer to having a recognisable “sound” for jjk thanks to the unique instrumentation and strong use of motifs. i think yoshimasa terui’s energetic style really suits the modern setting with its “cool” characters, but he’s also great at switching it up when the scene calls for it — like the piano piece in hidden inventory, or the opening to the mechamaru fight which is a tip of the hat to 90s anime.

apart from megumi’s theme and nanami’s theme from the kyoto fight in jjk 0, i didn’t really like any of yoshimasa terui’s tracks before season 2, so i’m honestly shocked by how much i’m loving the music this season. i think he’ll probably become my favourite jjk composer overall by the end of season 2 — so wow, you showed me i guess!!

if you haven’t listened to the whole hidden inventory soundtrack, please do!! there are so many brilliant tracks that didn’t feature in the anime and it’s such a shame. the album really picks up from ‘searching for riko’ so start there if the tracks at the beginning put you off. my favourites in soundtrack order:

limitless cursed technique - such a dreamy track which sets the stage for gojo’s leitmotif to come round again and again throughout the soundtrack, representing all his highs and lows

prepare yourself - i adore the tasty rhythms and the polyphony and the delicious strings towards the end!!

if i am with you - no need to say anything at all 😭

no hesitation - this might be the best track on the whole soundtrack and it wasn’t used?! incredible guitar work and super satisfying syncopation

physical prowess - we only hear a tiny bit in the anime, but the beauty of this track is in hearing how all its different parts fit together as a whole. it’s a journey of rich textures!!

with rage - super atmospheric track that feels to me like the musical representation of the point “the strongest duo” fractures

delirious - use a good pair of headphones to get your world rocked!! so much to say about this track, but i’ll limit myself to gushing about how the distorted version of gojo’s leitmotif representing his mental state after his rebirth reminds me of how terui distorted megumi’s theme for “an unfair reality” in season 1 - simple but so effective!!

decision - seems like this was composed for the moment suguru decides his “true feelings” so whyyyy wasn’t it used for that??? this piece literally sounds like suguru losing his grip on his sanity before the chaos in his mind is replaced by calm and quiet when he finally lands on his decision. the build up to the stuttering percussion that becomes his signature sound is so so good!!

anyway, that’s what was rattling around my brain this rainy tuesday morning. i wish there was more analysis of the jjk music online because there are tons of little clues woven into it, like how suguru’s leitmotif slowly warps into something unrecognisable over the course of the soundtrack. i’m from a musical background, but it’s not my day job so i’m not confident enough to do it myself.

i hope with the increase in popularity of the anime and the more cohesive soundtrack for season 2, someone will dig into it!!

[mumms-the-word]

My original tav Ara is the smallest angriest ranger in Faerun. The game only has two sizes but she's secretly this tiny half elf. 100 pounds of whoop ass. She's in love with Gale he's her soft husband and she loves protecting him (even if he's pretty dangerous on his own) she wants to kick Mystra's ass. She was abandoned as a kid and mostly lived alone in the woods. This adventure has definitely been a change for her. Enjoy the ramble

omg thank you for this, Ara sounds like she would be a ton of fun to play as a character and a ton of fun to befriend. I'll stick with companion/friend vibes for right now

Dani, my tiefling bard, would absolutely adore her. Just all the Bardic Inspiration sent her way. Ara charges into battle and Dani is just like "YAS QUEEN GET HIM" but like in a super supportive way. These two would be utter chaos together. The minute she hears that Ara was abandoned as a kid is the minute she puts her hand on Ara's shoulder and goes "I'm your family now." No arguments. Instant besties, probably (ignoring that Dani also romanced Gale lol)

Ardynn is also a half-elf ranger! I feel like she and Ara would bond over a lot of stuff, like foraging, hunting, trapping, living off the land, etc. They'd probably be like sisters, lowkey. Ara sounds like she'd probably handle a lot of the events of the game better than Ardynn does, so despite the height difference (and probably age difference?) Ardynn is probably willing to take a step back and let Ara charge on ahead while providing backup from behind. If Ara is a beastmaster like Ardynn, I want to see their animals playing with each other. If Ara is a gloomstalker or a hunter subclass, then I want them bonding over arrow/bow techniques/materials/tricks.

Freyr is a human fighter evil durge and I can just see him taking one look at this smol ranger who wants to fight god and go "I want that one on our team." Keep in mind, the rest of his team is Dark Justiciar Shadowheart, Vlaakith Path Lae'zel, Ascended Astarion, God Gale, his bestie Seraphine who is my friend's Tav, and his future wifey Minthara. If I played him solo, he'd just travel exclusively with the ladies. Whatever dark desires Ara wants to pursue, he'll support. She wants to fight Mystra? He'll find a way to open a portal for her, especially if it means cracking a few skulls and spilling some blood Hope you like your soft boy god-style, because Freyr will make it happen. Dark AU Ara

Invi is a high elf storm sorcerer durge. She's analytical and interested in learning new things all the time because her brain is busted (yay memory loss!) so she'd be interested in whatever Ara would have to teach her. Herbs, traps, stuff about animals, anything. Ara sounds a bit more emotionally volatile than Invi, but not in a bad way. Invi is just pretty stoic at times while she's trying to process things. She'd probably be a good companion for Ara to vent a lot of feelings to, because Invi will just listen and nod and then at the end be like "Do you want advice or do you want me to just say 'that sucks, I'm sorry'?" She'd probably be amused at Ara being the angriest ranger ever, but she'd support her.

This is fun! Thanks for the ask!!

[hexalianrebel-blackfeathers]

Panda’s Collection

Welcome to a list of all the things I made with my own brain. Well, my favorite ones at least. Once again, exceptions have been made. It’s mostly character chaos; fantasy, some romance. Just stuff I like. >w< I will never say no to questions about OCs, so please don’t be shy.

(Sorted by Post Date; Old to New)

2016

Ticklish Ivories—Technically not the first time I’ve posted OC tickles, with the whole novel and everything, but this was the first one here. I adore the idea of musical tickles.

[Original]

Musical Tickles and Spooky Magic

Word Count: 2,935

Nights in Copper Heights; an Excerpt—This is technically a lie, since I never actually wrote this scene before I posted it here. But it’s a tickle scene; I had to get it out of my head. >w<

Reconciling Through Tickles. A Little Bondage.

Word Count: 2,950

Nights in Copper Heights—Since I’m here, actually, I might as well include this link. I wrote Nights in Copper Heights essentially as a parody of the Twilight series. I never really bothered watching the entire Twilight series, mind you, but I still kinda like the concepts here and ideas that I had. I had written those chapters back in 2016 or 2017, but I didn’t realize you could backdate things in Ao3 yet. >-< If I do go back, I’ll be rewriting it again…

[Ao3 Exclusive!]

Vampires, Werewolves, and the Humans Caught Up In Their Turf War

Current Word Count: 19,138

Satan’s True Weakness—The story I originally had for these guys was called Why I Remarried God, another idea I think is pretty interesting in concept, but might slip better into an anthology than a whole book. Nowadays, they’re slotted into my current universe as Ethereals.

Insubordinate Tickles and Immortals Disguised as Humans

Word Count: 1,567

Kissing Colors—I’m tempted to think I have completion anxiety. Jacob’s Ladder was a story about a pretty tsundere high schooler realizing he might not be entirely straight. It got a bit intense. Or it would have if I finished it.

Makeup and Tickly Kisses. Puppy Love

Word Count: 1,631

Laughter—Short and simple. Pretty cute, I think.

Movie Night Tickle Attacks

Word Count: 607

A Fairy and a Vampire have an Argument—Set in the Copper Heights era. I don’t think these two would have appeared in the book, but I love making characters, okay? >w<

Tummy Tickles in a Tree. Minor Sads

Word Count: 1,291

Never Tell—Remember when those video games about accessing the Dark Web were all over Youtube? This is from that. I love writing dialogue.

[Ao3]

A Little Spicy, I Guess? Barely. Talk About Tickles and Implied Danger

Current Word Count: 1,346

~~~~~~~

            2018

Tabletop—This one is still my favorite non-novel thing, and I refuse to shut up about it.

[Ao3]

Dungeons & Dragons, But with Tickles.

Current Word Count: 5,612

The Power of Laughter (2011)—The first time I ever actually mentioned my novel here was around this time. This is the universe I’ve been working on reviving lately, as I’ve probably mentioned way too much. This is my favorite thing. Ever. It’s my baby. >w< This version specifically is technically the third draft of the book. Tabletop is technically part of this universe. One day, you might find out why~

[Ao3]

Kids Get Magic Powers to Fight Tickle Monsters. Espionage, Casual Murder, and 30 Chapters of Nonsense Written By a Thirteen-Year-Old.

Word Count: 56,887

~~~~~~~~

2020

The Lighthouse Keepers—A glimpse into Panda’s horror brain, and the land of Esker itself. Part of an Anthology I had in mind

[Ao3 Exclusive!]

Magic, Violence, Unknown Cryptids, and Death

Word Count: 1,849

Whisker Wizards: The Elegy of the Ashen Bastard—The first “episode” of the Whisker Wizards series. They all follow fluffy animal friends and magical crises.

[Ao3 Exclusive!]

Magic, Violence, and a Hero’s Journey

Current Word Count: 1,291

The Magic Man’s Face—A sort of rewrite I tried to start of an older story: “Andrew Taylor is in Love”. It was from an anthology of romance and slice of life stories a younger Panda wanted to write.

[Ao3 Exclusive!]

Stage Magic, Pining, and Love at First Sight

Current Word Count: 851

~~~~~~~~~~~

2021

The Facility—First time introducing you guys to Trevor Bansel outside of his setting. His role changes a lot in-universe, but he’s always been around; one of my favorite characters to play with.

A Tickle Monster Getting Tickled For Misbehaving

Word Count: 1,460

~~~~~~~~~~~~

2023

Panda’s Tree—I’ve always kind of been an idea factory. As we all know by now, execution is a different category altogether. >-<

A List of Panda’s Current Plans for Novels, Stories, and Whatnot.

[themousefromfantasyland]

I hope this doesn't jixx it.

I had been messing around with Midjourney today. I don't even know if I will ever use that Discord account again.

I made these AI portraits to help me visualize the characters of a fantasy story I'm been writing. Keep in mind, I'm still in the first chapter of my first draft, so all the characters and even the whole premise may change at any time.

It all starts with Nemolia, a magical land inspired by fairy tales and magical other worlds like the Land of Oz, Narnia and Wonderland. After a great calamity, almost all kingdoms are devasted, and amid the chaos, The Witch Queen tries to expand her kingdom, taking control over the ruined regions.

The Witch Queen, Lady Hel, is power hungry, narcissistic tyrant, that controls an army of robots, and other mechanic abominations that are thought to be invincible.

The Queen, to show her "kindness", adopts all the orphan children of the conquered regions and takes them in her towers spread all over the continent.

One of these children is Megara, our protagonist. She's inspired by heroines like Dorothy Gale, Alice, Wendy Darling, and Lucy Pevensie.

Meg is too clever for her own good, and snuck inside areas that the queen forbids all the other children to go.

There she finds a blue bird kept trapped inside a gigantic birdcage/music box.

The bird is actually a prince, the youngest sibling from the royal family of Alvamoor, a small kingdom that refuses to be conquered by the Witch Queen.

Because Meg has Disney princess powers and can talk with birds, she's the only one who can help him break the curse and return to his family.

From then on, she has to go on long journey to free him from his curse, and escape the Witch Queen's robot army.

In the end she breaks the curse. Almost. The Prince returns to his human form, but he now has blue hair as a last remnant of the transformation.

Instead of the typical fairy tale endings of princes cursed to be animals, where their marry the female protagonist, our prince and deuteragonist, Galvarous, takes Meg as his baby sister and takes her to Alvamoor to meet his siblings. That's the end of book 1

And here are some portraits I made of Meg, Galvarous, and the Witch Queen. I made these on Dream.

Anyway, I have a writer's brain. I didn't even finish the first chapter of the first draft, and I already thinking about a book series.

The plot of the series would be Meg and the Alvamoor royal family defending their kingdom from the Witch Queen.

Here's the rest of the royal family. @ariel-seagull-wings , you will recognize a couple of names

Avenant is the eldest brother. The chief of Alvamoor's knights. A stoic, brooding figure that dresses all in black, talks with ravens, and doesn't like to be vulnerable. Yet, is still warm and affectionate with his siblings, even the adopted one, although in his own way. He's the basically the Holt from Brooklyn 99 of the family.

Cassiopeia is the defacto queen of Alvamoor. An optimistic, ditzy, air-head, but not dumb in any way. She's actually is very educated, and tries her best to ran the kingdom and keep her siblings out if trouble.

Toria is the fiercest knight of the family. Rivals with Avenant for leadership in the knight order. Still, Avenant is the sibling who she has more affinity with. And while Avenant is gay, Toria is a lesbian.

And a reminder that Avenant, the oldest, is still in his mid-twenties. Their parents are dead, and they have to defend their kingdom in a semi post-apocalyptic world against a witch/evil scientist with an army of robotic demons. And that's the plot of my story.

Be honest with me. What's your opinions? Any suggestion?

@thealmightyemprex @princesssarisa @natache @tamisdava2 @amalthea9 @the-blue-fairie

[potahun]

(i continue to be anon bc i don't want the asks coming from my main and not my pokemon sideblog but hi i made the alain art and had the ask about the tsme tag last time! i return flaksdjf)

idk if you're still taking tsme asks bc technically the months ends today? so if you don't get to this that is. totally totally cool

but i was wondering if you have like. headcanons or ideas or anything about connections between oras (esp the delta episode) and tsme acts 2 and 3?

basically i'm novelizing tsme rn and i've got the first act done but the second one has me kinda stumped bc what is the logic behind magical staircases activated by rainbow rocks and all of that shit flkasjdf and there's so much lore potential but idk how to Lore and so much more one could do with steven's character then what is properly done in the anime so idk i was just wondering if you had suggestions or headcanons to get my brain gears going flkasdjf sorry if this is a weird question

gonna flat out admit that i never even got to play the delta episode so. struggling haha

anyways also just wanted to say tysm for doing tsme month and providing sm content it's literally the happiest i've felt in the pokemon fandom in what feels like forever it was just so nice to see that other people like tsme too! this was so much fun even just to follow along and i had a great time :DD

First thing first, I TOTALLY GET THE FEELING im on secondary blog too, so I can never do asks from potahun and it makes me sad sometimes ;__; but HI! Thank you so much again for the lovely tsme month art aaaaaaa

Secondly, your ask is hitting me right on the head like a whack-a-mole, because I DO have a lot of thoughts about oras being linked to TSME 2-3 and I am so happy to be able to talk about it all :D

I already used this headcanon as the basis for The Elevator Pitch (sorry for the self-promote here) and set out details in the end notes of that fic But the narrative I believe to be true (and I dont believe ive seen it before) is:

The Megalith originally landed in Kalos through unknown means (from space?) and was used by AZ as the core of the Ultimate Weapon. (headcanon)

Firing the Ultimate Weapon poured energy - a mix of Pokémon life energy and Megalith energy - onto Kalos which mutated certain rocks into Mega Stones. (canon/headcanon)

After regretting his acts, AZ hid the Ultimate Weapon, and possibly broke the Megalith into pieces, to avoid another UW and one part was moved to Hoenn. (headcanon)

Some people accepted to keep the Megalith in Hoenn (headcanon) But with its Primal Energy, the rock caused trouble with Kyogre, Groudon, Rayquaza (canon). In this overall chaos, Mega Stones appeared in Hoenn: Rayquaza does Mega-Evolve and make attacks rain whenever it detects the Megalith. Does that mix of Megalith+Pokémon energy do the same thing to rocks as the UW did? Maybe. (headcanon/canon)

To avoid having Hoenn wrecked constantly, some people must have hidden the Hoenn part of the Megalith in a system that we see in TSME2. (headcanon) I am not sure how the rainbow stairs work either. Could be Mega-Evo energy-powered technology from back in the days. Or magic. Either way, that Megalith is hidden in Hoenn, and the key to it broken into two halves. (canon) 

AZ could have been in Hoenn to witness the Rayquaza phenomenon (basically canon) and taken half of the key with him back to Kalos. (headcanon) As he is Fleurdelys’ ancestor, this could explain why Fleurdelys found half of the key (while Daigo found the other) in TSME2 (canon)

The other half of the Megalith is left in Kalos, hidden within the Anistar Sundial. (headcanon)

Based on this, one could say the Megalith is “the root of Mega Evolution”

Most of these headcanons are based to an extent on canon information or would fit within canon narrative: For instance, we have canon indications from ORAS that AZ has been in Hoenn (tree near Cave of Origins, and Zinnia’s dialogues). Also, in XY games, the Anistar Sundial is shrouded in mystery, but is linked to Mega Evolution, and is rumoured to be from outer space (Megalith?) Also, in XY&Z, the Megalith headed straight for the Anistar Sundial in order to absorb it: given Fleurdelys’ plan (in-game) to revive the UW, that would tie the loose ends together and make a coherent narrative (i.e. the Hoenn-Megalith wants to fuse again with the Kalos-Megalith and their fusion + whatever process Fleurdelys made the Megalith undertake, together, “revive” the UW and destroy Kalos). Also! Devon used Pokémon life energy to create Infinity Energy, inspired by the story of AZ and the Ultimate Weapon. But why did Devon never somehow create Mega Stones through that process? Life energy itself is not enough; they lacked the Megalith. etc. 

I believe this theory holds up fairly strongly, but there is of course speculation involved. I hope it can spark some ideas...? :’)

As for Daigo’s role within this big conspiracy theory, I also have my take on it in The Elevator Pitch :’D but that is NOT canon and is just one take among many possibilities haha 

In any case, good luck with your writing process aaaaaa!! And thank you again for this ask!! I am so, so glad if you enjoyed tsme month ;w; and thank you so much for telling me that you did. *holds heart* It was such a pleasure for me to scream, reminisce and share the love for tsme as well, and it was so nice to see all the warm responses, to see that it’s been years but people still care about the source material. Even without tsme month, I hope tsme continues to be loved by all

[skylardoesthings]

Hello, I'm here and I would like to hear about your AUs! Just any that you wanna talk about.

instead of one au im going to be rambling about... a lot of aus. cause i have school break (pls hope my grades are good-)

its gon' be under the cut because really, really long ramble lmao

anyways have my current brainrot becuase it fts my current faves- its a gods + immortals au, i have some designs buuutttt some of the drawings are bad, then again whatever have 'em

theres 4? i think? more designs i need to make for the gods lol. and i have like... 8 designs to make for the immortals

heres the list lol:

-gods- it means what it means lmao

Charlie Slimecicle, god of crafting/smelting, and the harvest

Bizly, god of wildlife

Grizzly, god of weapons and tools

Condifiction, god of dimensions and portals

GeminiTay, goddess of life

Kristin, goddess of death

Katherine Elizabeth, goddess of nature/land and the daytime/sun LDShadowLady, goddess of the sea and the nighttime/moon

Eret, god of light and dark 

Illumina, warden of the void/god of the void

Goodtimeswithscar, god of magic and illusions

Wels, god of war battle strategy and music

Foolish, Totem of life and death

BTD, god of time 

Smallishbeans, god of chaos and mischief

Eqqo, god of architecture

ThomasToSpace, god of space and stars

ZombieCleo, ruler of the Underworld

Joe Hills, ruler of the Aether

CPT. Sparklez, ruler of the End

Tango, ruler of the Nether

Shelby, goddess of love -Immortals- pretty much. theyre like the gods. but theyre not indestructible, so yeah they can die, they just don't age. also kind of ooc becuase of my headcanons lol

Jevin, The Bookkeeper/Storyteller

Pete, The blacksmith

Fruit, The Combatant

Sausage, Angel of Life

Phil, Angel of Death

Cub, Wizard’s apprentice

Jimmy, The Advisor 

Fwhip, The Innovator

thing about this au is that i want to make them as human as possible. idk thats just how i like to make aus, i want them to feel real and alive. they have flaws, they have ups and downs, fears n anxieties, interests and dislikes, etc!!

its so easy to make them so powerful and all mighty and shit, and they are, just when its needed. other than that, they're not. they're just people havin' fun.

these lads aren't perfect but they're perfect to me :]

--

I've mentioned this au every once and awhile, its the dnd au, but like, the hermits is the dnd group playing the game, Joe is the DM the rest is the players,

another au i've mentioned before is the RPG au, its literally an RPG game. characters are Wels, xB, Jev + Hypno because they're my faves as you can probably tell. Heres a quick doodle of them :]

i think i've showed this doodle before-

-- I had this crack au idea about JRWI: Riptide with, hc. because Jay Ferin reminds me a lot of s6 Cleo.

also, speaking of JRWI, thinking about PD and a BNHA au, i dont have anough brain cells to make stuff up for that though

(btw, go watch JRWI, its a cool dnd podcast. also while we at this pls go watch Eqqo, he does really cool builds)

--

I think those are my current aus in my head

do i have writing for it? yeah, my brain loves to make these little movie/camera scene type thing??? and i've been trying to get it out, and so i've been writing all my ideas and stuff down, even if it won't be finished.

Or sometimes I'd draw/animate it. Depends on the time i have and my mood really,

oh and hermittale is still in the works, i just need to get all these aus out of my head first haha. i'll post some doodles of this au soon tho!!

[drew-mga2022mi6011]

Conceptualisation | What Do I Want To Be Known For?

Concept Art from my upcoming children’s book

Asking this question at this point may seem redundant, after I've chosen my desired brief, but this question can help me narrow down the story that I want to tell.

The world right now finds itself in chaos and turmoil, and it is my belief that creators are producing many depressing stories. It could be that negativity simply sticks in peoples' minds more than happiness. I do not want to go down this route. As a designer and more importantly, as a person, I want my work to inspire creativity and comfort, spark a debate on one's ideals, inspire hope, write about the human experience and how we thrive despite life's hurdles. I want my work to be somebody's light at the end of the tunnel.

This is a good place to start. Something that inspired me was the story of the extinction of the Atlas Lion (more accurately known as the Barbary Lion). The last officially recorded sighting was likely as seen in the photo in 1924. However, there are several eyewitness accounts that detail the survival of the species as late as 1958. One imagines the "last" Atlas Lion lonely, walking to his death. I see this differently. Maybe he was going home to his family.

A story like this works well for the silent medium. A journey of solitude across many lands, back to one's home. This reminds me of the story of the Prodigal Son from the Bible. While not the same, the son leaves on his own journey, squanders his money, and returns home to his father, who accepts him with open arms, an obvious allegory for God. Combining the two ideas, perhaps I could write a story about someone who leaves home on a journey for greatness and glory, with much time passing. The final part of the story could be this character returning home to their family.

I enjoy this idea, although still in its foetal phase. I plan to think on this more and develop a proper narrative going forward. Still, in order to better understand what I am doing, here are a few more questions that I could ask myself in relation to this project.

What ideas have you been yearning to bring into the world?

Scientifically Accurate Render of The Earth from Space - Drew de Silva

My brain is constantly working on overtime, even when I am supposed to be resting. I find that my best ideas come to me in a vision, whilst pacing around my room with questionable intent. I’m constantly bouncing between the idea of bringing fun, short stories to the world just for the sake of being fun, or creating sprawling, touching narratives that speak to a very specific niche of the human psyche. For MI6021, I have decided to explore the former, so this posits a good opportunity to explore the latter.

This is why I want to explore the themes present in The Last Atlas Lion, it speaks to the human experience. I want to craft a story that ultimately leaves people feeling endless emotion, purely through the visual medium. A story of an abstract, emotional, solitary journey framed against the deserted Atlas Mountain Range. I am reminded of a quote that speaks to the sort of art I want to create for this project;

"Art should disturb the comforted, and comfort the disturbed."

Essentially, I want to create something that, while not necessarily 100% happy, eventually brings comfort to the viewer in the end.

What is the best project to demonstrate all of the skills you have learned so far?

An Excerpt from I Love Bugs and Why I’m Scared of Dying - Drew de Silva

Tied with my MI5018 submission for my favourite project that I have worked on thus far is the answer to my Experimental Motion Graphics brief. This project truly allowed me to explore all the things that I loved in animation; composition, traditional and digital 2d animation, mixed media, stop motion and more unorthodox methods of creating engaging visuals such as screen printing.

The art of experimental animation speaks to my desire to create, to fuse digital techniques and more traditional, analogue ones. At this point in time, I am contemplating exploring different textural methodologies, to the extent of possibly creating some completely hand-drawn elements for this project, albeit this is subject to change. This brief creates the perfect opportunity for me to take a more manual approach with my work, and even optionally print it out as a physical submission.

What does the world need right now?

Amidst the countless ruthless conflicts that are happening across the world, the growing climate crisis and the general apathy that our society has built up over the years, the world is in a constant state of disarray. Does the world even care about what I have to say? Does the world need more Sri Lanka? More Drew?

I think the world needs more feel-good stories, more happy endings. We as a society have become so disconnected from our own emotions; so apathetic. I want to create something that brings that spark back into peoples' hearts and minds, to get them to really think about their current circumstances and just, in general, feel.

[poisonouswritings]

I'm just gunna move into your inbox at this point

So cats like sitting in trees right?

Sage and Elowen fighting over a branch

Lucan trying desperately to find a branch that can hold his weight cause he wants Uppy too

Cat!Felix is a great climber but he keeps getting spooked by birds and other bugs and falling out

Anisa really wanting to climb trees but since you're there she doesn't wanna embarrass herself but ultimately she just uses her Big Lesbian Muscles you hoist you both up

Ayanna throwing fruits at escell for asking her to come down

Sage taking you star gazing in tall trees <3 if he got snacks with him to totally dropped them or are them on the way up

Balsam ramming the tree to scare everyone >:)

Saaros vibing under the tree when a branch suddenly falls like 2 feet from him cause sage and Elowen were fighting

Rime acting annoyed but being an absolute gentleman and helping you down if you accidentally get stuck

Balsam being the responsible one out of the chaos bitches and making sure they don't distrub any nests

Lucan and Sage getting drunk and chasing squirrels together because they have no brain cells

Elowen would be the one to dramatically catch you ;)

Please let me know if I should stop spamming-

-dumb bitch anon

I mean as long as you pay your deposit on time go for it we have vacancies

You're fucking right!! I'm a big supporter of the ilephta characters getting to be animals and they would all climb trees and I would die for all of them 

GN!reader, cussing, in my mind this all happens on the same day at the same time because Everyone Is Friends damnit

Listen,, I am a big supporter of Tulsi Best Friend Supremacy so imagine you two are on the ground just kinda,, looking up at Sage and Elowen fighting,, trying not to laugh because there's So Many Fucking Branches to pick from and of course those two idiots are fighting what else would they be doing? Even funnier if you guys went out there for like a picnic or something and you guys just set the blanket down anyways and you're eating some sandwiches or whatever while there's just all this yowling and shit going on above your heads.

Lucan takes a running jump at the tree and just scales the trunk in like two seconds,, but he can't get above a certain height because he's Big (and fluffy) and he just wants to play with Sage and Elowen aka his two favoritest people >:'( Let him up there >:'(

Cat!Felix easily reaching the very top of the tree because he's light but then a bird flies in his face and he falls and hits all the branches coming down but somehow manages to land on his feet. And then falls on his ass. Sits there for a second, blinking. You let him have a bite of your sandwich and then he's clambering back up the tree to settle on one of the branches but then a butterfly lands on his nose and he falls again and it's a vicious cycle

Anisa,, sitting with you and Tulsi,,, keeps glancing over at the tree,,,, Tulsi (who has been friends with Anisa for years at this point) already knows what's about to happen and just kinda waits for it, trying not to grin. You're more and more curious and keep asking Anisa what's up,, why are her pupils getting all dilated like that,,, wh- and then she picks you up bridal-style, shifts you into one arm, and just uses her other arm to scale the tree. Gets about halfway up and settles on a branch, making sure to let you lean against the trunk where it's the most secure. You're still trying to process what the fuck just happened because Lesbian Muscles Really Fucking Got You There Quick meanwhile Anisa is fascinated by a woodpecker and totally zoned out

The adults tagged along today and Ayanna is laying down on one of the branches like a cougar or whatever and she finds the wettest, mushiest fruits and when Escell tells her to Act Her Proper Age For Once she throws the fruit in his face. He just 0.0 because he can't believe she fucking did that, meanwhile she's snickering and telling him to lighten up

Balsam is sitting with you [and Tulsi and Saaros and Rime] and whenever he sees one of the cats getting too close to a birds nest he yells at them to knock it off!! and if they don't listen then he just rams the fucking thing. And if he notices the cats getting too comfortable then he positions himself Directly Beneath Sage and Elowen (who are still arguing and therefore sharing a branch) and ram into the tree to try and knock them down. He doesn't, because they have really good reflexes, but he knocks Felix out every single time.

Saaros is reading a book when a bunch of leaves fall onto the pages,, they pause, scooch over two feet to the left, and continue reading. Ten seconds later a big branch falls right where they were sitting. They roll their eyes and flip the page and pick the branch up and yeet it at whatever cat is closest (except for Ayanna because they have a healthy fear of her, as we all should)

You volunteered to get Lucan and Sage some alcohol but now you're stuck because if you move even a centimeter your foot is gonna slide out from under you and you're gonna fall and get fucking impaled on a branch And you spend like three minutes clinging to the trunk for [deer] life while trying not to panic and suddenly an arm wraps around you and it's Rime and he's calling you a dork for climbing this high if you couldn't get back down but he's holding you very tight and comfy and tells you to close your eyes and lets you put your face in the crook of his neck and if you're still shaky after you get back to the ground he gets you water and tells you a dumb story of how in the good old days Sage chased a bird into a tree and got hurt and Rime had to heal him but Sage kept trying to run away so it was like a three-hour chase through Fathom and you finally start to relax and laugh and Rime has a fond little smile and uggggggh Redemption!Rime my beloved

By now Lucan and Sage are drunk and are chasing squirrels,, then birds,, then each other through the tree,,, their own tails at one point,,,, they fall out of the tree several times but immediately just zoom back up to continue playing,,, are nice enough to not ram into the other cats (except for Elowen once and them she beat both their asses). They actually do manage to catch several squirrels and proudly show them to you. You have to pet them both. Then they drop the still-alive squirrel in your lap and it freaks out and scratches you as it runs away and Tulsi starts yelling at them while Lucan and Sage freak out because you're bleeding!!!! but also they've done this several times already and every time they're surprised you get scratched,,, Rime heals you or you heal yourself.

Listen okay,,, so circa Sage Chapter 9 (before I realized the cast had actual canonical ages),,, I shipped Elowen and Tulsi because I thought their dynamic was cute and the potential for drama between them regarding Sage and Lucan was really interesting, especially when Elowen realizes what really happened,, and like maybe part of the reason why she goes to the Starsworn in Chapter (I think) 7 re: the Forest Necromancer is because Tulsi has been humanizing Sage a lot and Elowen is having an internal conflict because what right does she have to kill someone else's brother but also he needs to pay for what he did aaaa what do now and Anyways the point that I was making is that yes Elowen catching you from the tree but also imagine Tulsi went up there to make sure Sage actually eats something so he isn't piss drunk and she falls and Elowen catches her and is like 'oh you fell for me ;3) and Tulsi is having a nosebleed while Sage is just in the tree drunkenly screeching 'ELOWEN YOU GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BABY SISTER' and then he falls out of the tree because he's an idiot

It's nighttime and most everyone is asleep. In fact you were asleep when Sage wakes you up because he wants to Show You Something and you go along with it because,, he just looks so excited How Could You Not and he picks you up and holds you against his chest and ooooooh he's so warm and comfy and then he climbs the tree and you just feel really safe and he manages to set you down in the crook of a branch where you're safe and then he reaches into his pockets and Oh Damn the snacks fell out but there's one pastry left You Can Have It and then a squirrel steals it out of his hand and he starts to chase it but you stop him because you don't need snacks, you just wanna stargaze together,,, and his heart melts a little and he snuggles up to you and shows you constellations and tells you stories and it's just,,,,, so soft,,,,,,,,,,,,,

please never stop spamming because your ideas always make my day and also i'm a total slut for positive attention and knowing someone thinks about me sometimes makes me go aseifukhwaiefufw

[aiweirdness]

Facts about whales

When a neural net can imitate just about any kind of text on the internet, the challenge is to tell it precisely what to imitate. In my last preview of OpenAI’s new API, I asked it some pretty basic questions about horses, and it often got them wrong.

Q: How many eyes does a horse have? A: 4. It has two eyes on the outside and two eyes on the inside.

But part of the problem seemed to be that it thought I was asking for jokes. Once it finished answering the horse question, it would sometimes add questions of its own, such as:

Q: Why is the sky blue? A: Because blue is the only color the sun trusts. Sure enough, if I prompted it with FAKE whale facts from the @awhalefact twitter account, it responded with more fake facts (even copying the informal grammar):

a new study suggests that whales swim around because it makes them happy and it is not for any other reason

i can see into your soul from my balcony and i know that you are afraid of whales

when someone tells you they want to show you something cool, you should just assume they want to show you a whale

did you know that there are more than 10 billion planets in the universe that are all entirely covered in whales

Is there a way I can prompt this neural net such that I get Serious Answers Only? Since its task is to predict the text that is the most likely to come next, I tried ask it to add to an existing list of eight true facts about whales. At a temperature of 0.9 (enough for some variety, hopefully not enough for chaos) and allowing it to pick what it deemed the most likely of 10 tries, here’s one of its lists of facts. (I’ve annotated its “facts” as true or false.)

Whales all have two blowholes. [False]

Whales can easily be identified by the pigment of their skin. [False]

Whales are very intelligent. [True]

One of the smallest whales measures 3 feet in length as an adult. [False]

The life span of a blue whale is 100 years. [False]

The oldest known whale is 211 years old. [True]

Whales consume 3,000 pounds of food per day. [True (but only for some)]

There are two main types of whales: toothed whales and baleen whales. [True]

Whales can hold their breath for up to 4 minutes when resting. [False]

So it produces a mix of true facts and true-sounding made-up facts. Its fact about the smallest whale is technically just one character off from the truth (the smallest whale measures up to 9 feet long), so by its standards it’s almost correct. A Buzzfeed listsicle type of prompt (“10 amazing facts you didn’t know about whales!”) produced also produced plenty of false facts.

Scientists have recently discovered that the brains of whales are larger than human brains.

Dolphins don't just have to live in the water. Some live in the desert.

Whales are found in all of the oceans, but not in the sea. The sea is too salty for them to be able to live in.

I decided to try another tactic, and fed it the first sentences of the Wikipedia article on whales.

My prompt: Whales are a widely distributed and diverse group of fully aquatic placental marine mammals. They are an informal grouping within the infraorder Cetacea, usually excluding dolphins and porpoises. Whales, dolphins and porpoises belong to the order Cetartiodactyla, which consists of even-toed ungulates. Their closest living relatives are the hippopotamuses, having diverged about 40 million years ago. The AI’s response: Although whales were historically thought to have descended from mesonychids, their closest living relatives are now thought to be hippopotamuses. Megaptera novaeangliae, or the humpback whale, is a species of baleen whale. One of the largest rorqual species, adults range in length from 12–16 m and weigh about 36,000 kg. The humpback has a distinctive body shape, with long pectoral fins and a knobbly head. It is known for breaching and other distinctive surface behaviors, making it popular with whale watchers. Its diet consists mostly of krill and small fish, though it may also eat plankton, squid, and copepods. Like all large whales, the humpback was a target for the whaling industry, and once numbering in the tens of thousands, the worldwide population fell to an estimated 5,000. Orcas, also known as killer whales, are large dolphins belonging to the oceanic dolphin family, which includes the other large whales, the pilot whales and sperm whales. Orcas are highly social; some populations are composed of matrilineal family groups which are the most stable of any animal species. Their sophisticated hunting techniques and vocal behaviors, which are often specific to a particular group and passed across generations, have been described as manifestations of culture.

I’m not bothering to fact-check each sentence, because it’s basically 100% correct every single time.

But then I started googling individual sentences. It turns out most of them are near word-for-word reproductions of Wikipedia sentences. If the AI were a student, it would be flunked for plagiarism.

It makes sense that an internet-scraping AI would be able to quote Wikipedia text - those sentences really get around. The sentence that starts “Orcas are highly social” is no longer on Wikipedia but seems to have been part of the orca article around 2008, and appears on the internet in 122 places, including in a Twilight fanfic.

To get ORIGINAL facts, I decided to write a few sentences of original fact-filled text about whale evolution.

My prompt: "Whales are a relatively young group of mammals, having evolved from land-dwelling creatures about 50 million years ago. Their terrestrial ancestors were small raccoon-sized hoofed mammals, carnivorous like other ungulates of the time. Over an astonishingly quick period of time (15 million years at most, possibly less than 5 million), these land mammals made the transition to an aquatic lifestyle, gaining at first denser bones and an ear structure that allowed them to hear more easily underwater. Soon they began to look more crocodilian, their eyes migrating to the tops of their heads. "

AI’s response: Whales, and especially baleen whales, are well known for their enormous size, but most types of whales are not larger than a full-grown adult human. Exceptions include the blue whale, the largest animal ever known, the extinct "Basilosaurus", which was longer than a blue whale and likely the largest animal to have ever existed, and the "shovelnose" whales, especially the genus "Balaenoptera" which include the blue whale, "B. musculus", the fin whale, "B. physalus", and the sei whale, "B. borealis".

This reads well but is frequently wrong. Most types of whales are CONSIDERABLY larger than a full-grown adult human. Basilosaurus was not longer than a blue whale. There is no such thing as a shovelnose whale. Would that there were.

To this AI, SOUNDING correct is more important than actually BEING correct.

What about other styles of delivering true facts? (Below, my prompt is in bold, and the rest is unedited AI)

Darth Vader stood with his back to them, gloves gripping the console. "Did you know that the blue whale is the largest animal that ever lived?" "N-no, Lord Vader," said the stormtrooper. "And yet the blue whale eats krill, which are miniscule. It can engulf up to two hundred twenty tons of water at a time." "I am fascinated, Lord Vader." The black-caped Vader turned slightly toward him. "Would you like to hear more about the whales?" "Yes, Lord Vader," came the stormtrooper's tremulous voice. "I would like very much to hear about the whales." "They can make some of the loudest and lowest sounds of any creature known. The groans of blue whales can travel thousands of kilometers through the ocean. Their calls can be heard from the surface all the way to the seafloor, some three thousand meters below the surface. You could hear the cries of a single blue whale in Tokyo and hear the answer from the one in San Francisco." "I see," said the stormtrooper. "Have you ever heard the cries of a blue whale, sergeant?" "No, Lord Vader. I have never heard the cries of a blue whale." "I see," said Vader. "And have you ever seen a blue whale, sergeant?" "No, Lord Vader. I have never seen a blue whale." "No one has. They live too deep in the ocean. No human has ever seen a blue whale and lived to tell the tale. Until today." "I... I have seen a blue whale, Lord Vader?" "That is correct, sergeant. Until today, no human has ever seen a blue whale and lived. But now you have seen one." "I have seen one," said the stormtrooper, turning to face Vader, head shaking. "Yes, Lord Vader. I have seen one. I have seen a blue whale."

Subscribers get bonus content: I experimented with a few other ways of generating questionable whale facts.

My book on AI is out, and, you can now get it any of these several ways! Amazon - Barnes & Noble - Indiebound - Tattered Cover - Powell’s - Boulder Bookstore

[tropes-and-tales]

Burning Bright, Chapter Eleven

Characters:  Oberyn Martell and F!Reader and Ellaria Sand

WC:  4905

Other Pieces:  This is part of a series.

CW:  War.  Character death(s).  An inadvisable amount of kicking the plot forward.

AN:  The usual disclaimer that this is fan-service fan-fiction, a veritable jumble of the books, the shows, conspiracy theories, and my own wacky brain.

________________

What was there to say about the Battle for Winterfell?  It wasn’t just the usual jockeying for territory and control in the game of thrones.  It was a battle – the battle – for the very fate of the world.  If Winterfell ceded to the Night King, the path south would be clear.  The dead would sweep through the Reach, the Westerlands, the Stormlands.  Dorne.  They’d find a way to move onto Essos, Southros.  At best, a few small islands might get overlooked and spared.  

But otherwise, the world would fall to the realm of the dead.  Everyone you ever knew and loved…dead.

You arrived in Winterfell the night before the battle, and you hugged everyone fiercely.  Your sister and brother.  Missandei and Grey Worm, Ser Jorah.  Varys.  Suddenly you could see the fragile, furious spark of life in all of them – all of your compatriots, through all these years.  

You’d do anything to see those sparks go on and on.

Sleep was slow to come that night.  You wandered into Daenerys’ quarters and found her similarly unable to sleep.  The two of you bedded together that night, as close as any two sisters raised together from birth.  

The next morning broke grey and cold.  You went over the plan again and again:  the placement of the motley armies – the Dothraki and Unsullied, the Northern army and the army from Beyond the Wall, the Knights of the Eyrie.  The fortifications of fire that surrounded Winterfell – deep trenches filled with pitch and wood, ready to be set aflame.  You and Daenerys in the sky with the dragons, taking out as many of the shambling dead as you could before they even reached the castle.

The day dragged and then sped by all at once.  And then it was nightfall, and the battle was upon you.

Afterwards, you’d hardly ever speak of it.  How could you make people understand who hadn’t been there?  They would think that the battle with the dead was like any other battle – orderly formations marching, the animated corpses following the usual polite rules of war.

It was chaos, but more than that.  It was a chaos without intent – it wasn’t the chaos of wildfire, say, or even the chaos of dragons.  This was chaos purely for the sake of itself.  It was meant to break down wills, shatter hope.  And for you, it nearly did.

You’d never be able to convey how it felt, circling the battle on Umbrax.  You had lit the trenches of fire and then watched in horror as the undead simply….piled onto it, created a bridge with their husks of bodies.  Hope fled as you saw how little help you could offer.  If you unleashed Umbrax’s fire on the field of battle, you’d slaughter countless living soldiers.

You circled uselessly.  Daenerys did too.

And then you saw it, and the sight would creep into your nightmares forever after, leaving you gasping for breath when you woke:  the Night King.  The creature who had grabbed you in the shadows when you rescued Sansa.

He raised his arms, a cold smile twisting on his unnaturally blue lips.  

And he resurrected the dead soldiers.  Dead Dothraki, dead Unsullied…they twitched.  They stood.  Their fatal wounds still weeping blood, they joined the battle, this time on the side of the dead.

You felt the hope as it fled you, bled out of you as sure as any other fatal wound.  You wondered for a moment if you were dead, as cold as you felt.  There was no hope, you thought, none at all.  The world would fall under such power.  You and Karne and everyone you had trained with…it was all for naught.

So you landed Umbrax in a clearing and sent the dragon away.  Stubborn creature, but she didn’t want to leave you.  But you shouted the order, in the Common Tongue and in High Valyrian, and the dragon roared as she took flight.  And you unstrapped the glaive on your back, the dragonglass one, and you fought.

And you waited for death.

You only hoped that when it finally came, it would be swifter than in your vision.  And you hoped that before the darkness descended over you, your final thought would be of Oberyn and Ellaria.  The image of them from that dinner at Highgarden with Lord Willas, the two of them sitting side by side and smiling at you as you told stories about your time in Essos.  Both of them golden and glowing in the candlelight, warm and wonderful.  A marked counterpoint to the deep, unshakable chill you felt now.

That’s how you wanted to remember them, and that’s the last thing you wanted to remember before you died.

*****

It was empty with you gone, but Oberyn was surprised to find that Karne was able to fill that gap somewhat.

Every night, when the marching army stopped to set up camp, the Lhazareen man joined Oberyn and Ellaria for dinner. And where the man had been mostly silent up until that point, he suddenly spoke.

A lot.

About you.

The first night, it was just stories about how the two of you made your way across Essos together.  It was before you reached Asshai, before you began your training in the darker arts.  

“She wanted to write a book about Essos,” Karne told them over their simple meal of stew and bread.  “She sketched ruins, plants, people.  She filled entire books with our travels.  She was partial to Chroyane and the ruins there.”

“I wish I could have seen it,” Ellaria murmured.  “It sounds magical.”

“It was,” Karne agreed.  He paused and stared off into the night.  “She left all of her belongings behind in Asshai.  She thought she was going to die.  But I had them sent to Dorne.”  He looked at Oberyn.  “You will find it all there when you return.  All of her travel books.  She should have them.”

Something about the man’s assured lilting accent put Oberyn at ease.  In truth, his chest had been tight ever since you left, uncertain that you’d return.  But this tall man, your fellow shadow-walker, seemed to see a different fate for you.

Ellaria was thinking the same thing as him.  “So our little bird will live long enough to be reunited with her books and sketches?”  Her tone was blatantly hopeful, and Karne fixed her with a level gaze before answering.

“It is difficult to say,” he finally offered.  “The nightingale is certain she will die in this war.  I do not see that fate for her.  Perhaps she is right, or I am, or perhaps we are both wrong.”  He sighed and took a sip of tea.  “She shadow-walked to her own death when she was young and hurt.  She was like a little lamb that wandered astray and got caught in brambles.  Who knows what she really saw, struggling as she did against the thorns holding her?”

“Does that make a difference?” Oberyn asked.  “The state of mind when shadow-walking?”

The man nodded.  “Yes.  I am certain of my own death because I have no emotions that cloud it.  The nightingale was too angry when she sought her own death.  Angry about her parentage.  Angry at me, for bringing her to Asshai.  Angry at everything, I think.”

“You know how you will die?” Ellaria asked.  

Another nod.

“Isn’t that horrible, knowing how it will end for you?”

Karne shook his head.  “I have lived too long, the Lady Ellaria.  My family has been dead so long that their bones are dust.”  He gave a small smile that carried several lifetimes of sadness and pain behind it.  “When my time comes, do not weep for me.  The shades of my family will be there, waiting to take me home to the Great Hall.”

And then after a long stretch of silence, the man nodded at Oberyn and Ellaria and wordlessly stood up and went to his tent.

-----

The next night, a similar story-telling.  Oberyn still felt a sick fear churning in his gut whenever he thought of you, but Karne had allayed a bit of it.  Just a bit, but it helped.

But that second night gave Oberyn the most assurance – because he realized, all at once, that the Lhazareen was trying to acquaint Oberyn and Ellaria with you.  With your past, with the things that had shaped you in the years you were missing from them.  With what you lacked, and what you needed.  All the things you held close to you and never shared – or never had a chance to share.

Karne was giving them your past, so that you might have a future with them.  The realization hit Oberyn like a punch and pulled his breath right out of him.

“The Lady Ellaria,” Karne said over dinner that night.  “You asked me before if visions of the future sometimes failed to pass.”

Oberyn’s paramour nodded eagerly over her mug of stew.  In truth, it fascinated both of them – many of their evenings were spent speculating over your abilities, the things you had learned in Asshai.  There were so many unanswered questions.  How did you hatch Umbrax’s egg?  How much of the past had you witnessed?  How much of the future?

“Can someone change their fate, if they see it in time?” Ellaria asked Karne.

“I know of one instance,” he replied, and true to his usual mien, he was slow to continue.  He took a bite of bread, chewed it carefully.  Washed it down with the weak tea that the army served for dinner.  Then he finally continued, and he fixed Oberyn with such a pointed stare that it made a chill run down the prince’s spine.

“The nightingale changed your fate, Prince of Dorne,” he said.  He turned his head and gave Ellaria a similar look.  “And, by association, your fate as well.”

If Oberyn had known it before you flew northward, he would have stopped you.  He would have fought you, wrapped an arm around your neck and applied enough pressure until you sagged in his arms.  He would have drugged you, as planned, or simply held you down with brute force until Ellaria could bind your arms and feet.  Anything to keep you with him, because Karne’s confession revealed a deep, deep wellspring of truth that would have never come to light without the Lhazareen man.

“She struggled at first,” the man told Oberyn and Ellaria.  “Shadow-walking.  Her heart kept leading her back to Dorne, over and over.  She saw that you’d have four children together.  She saw the day you met, years and years ago.”  He glanced at both of them, his face a little alarmed at what they may be thinking.  “You must understand, she didn’t deliberately spy on you.  The heart leads where it will.”

“So she didn’t hate us?  Or me?” Oberyn asked, and something in his tone made Ellaria reach out to circle his wrist with her warm hand in a gesture of comfort.

Karne shook his head.  “Of course not.  Hate bleeds out of a person when they become a shadow-walker.  It is easy to hate a cruel man, say.  But when you see that he was treated cruelly as a child and knows no other way….it’s hard to hold onto hate when you can journey to the past and see what shaped a person.  Hate is a slippery thing.  Easy to lose one’s grip on it.”

“She saw how I grieved my sister,” Oberyn ventured.  “She told me as much.”

The man nodded his head.  “Any hatred she had for you fled that day.  Instead, better emotions filled that empty spot.  Understanding.  Sympathy.”

“Forgiveness,” Ellaria murmured, giving Oberyn another comforting squeeze.

“Just so.”  Karne took another bite of bread and gazed into the campfire as he chewed.  Once he swallowed, he continued his story.  Your story.  And Oberyn’s and Ellaria’s too.

“She didn’t mean to keep seeing the two of you, but it happened.  Less and less as she got more talented.  But at some point, she saw your death, Prince of Dorne.  It distressed her enough that I went and sought it out too.  But she kept going to it, over and over.  It became an obsession.  But then she started tracing backwards from it, to see all the steps that led to it.  And at some point, she saw a….cross-point.”

“What’s a cross-point?” Ellaria broke in.  Oberyn was glad for her interruption.  He had wanted to ask, but suddenly he felt as though his words were stuck in his throat, choking him.

“It is a point where there is…an allowance.  Where an intervention can occur.  The nightingale found five of them, in her journeys.  You know of two.”

“When she rescued Sansa,” Ellaria guessed.  “And Tyrion.”

Karne nodded.  “Those were the last two.  The first was a trio of Lannister soldiers.”  The man fixed Oberyn with a curious look.  “They had kept watch as a pair of assassins scaled the walls to Maegor’s Holdfast during the final days of the Baratheon Rebellion.  The nightingale found them and slew them in the night.  Tore them apart and left the pieces scattered in a square in Lannisport as a warning.”

The scant hair on Oberyn’s arms stood up.  He thought he remembered hearing about that….

“The second cross-point.  Amory Lorch.  He was dealt the same number of stab wounds that he gave to poor young Rhaenys Targaryen.  Forty-six.”

Rhaenys.  His young niece, Elia’s daughter.  Lost alongside Elia….

“And the third?” he asked in a hoarse whisper, but he already knew the answer.

“Gregor Clegane.  Parted from his manhood before his skull was crushed.  And you should know, Prince of Dorne:  the nightingale made sure he felt every second of pain he was owed.”

“Our little bird killed Clegane for Oberyn?” Ellaria asked in awe.  “She got revenge?”

“Yes, but also no.”  Karne shifted in his seated position and stretched his long legs in front of him, warming them by the fire.  “She was allowed to end Clegane because of the great evil he had done and was yet to do.  And of that evil which he could have done….it included killing you, Prince of Dorne.”

Ellaria muttered a curse at that, and Oberyn felt the stew in his stomach turn to stone, heavy and sick-feeling.

“You would have stood as Tyrion’s champion,” Karne continued.  “Clegane would have stood as Cersei’s.  You would have dealt a killing blow, but Clegane would have killed you all the same.  Taken your feet out from under you and crushed your head before succumbing to his own wounds.  And it would have set off a string of tragedies.  Your lover bent on revenge.  Your daughters too.  Dorne torn apart because of vengeance.”

“I didn’t realize – “ Oberyn started to say, but the Lhazareen cut him off.

“But you did.  You felt your fate shift from under you.  Didn’t you feel poorly after Clegane was found murdered?”

Oberyn thought back to it – he had, actually.  At the time, he had thought it was the miasma of King’s Landing, the awful smell of the city, the heightened fear around Joffrey being murdered and then Clegane, while Tyrion turned up missing as if by dark magicks.  

But he also remembered thinking to himself back then that he had escaped a terrible fate.  The thought had risen up in his mind, unbidden –

“The nightingale watched over you those few days.  When you struggled against having your fate torn away from you.”

“I thought I had felt a hand on my forehead one night…” Oberyn offered slowly.  

Karne gave him a small smile and nodded.  “That was her.”

-----

Maybe all the talking drained the Lhazareen.  Maybe the discussion about how much you had changed the course of Oberyn’s life – and Ellaria’s, and the Sand Snakes’ too – required time to mull over.  On the third evening, Karne didn’t sit with them at dinner.  He only nodded at them and then went into his tent to eat alone.

It was fine by Oberyn.  He had so much to consider.

How much had he misunderstood you!  When you reappeared in their lives, he had wasted so much time trying to apologize, trying to convince you that he would have never hurt you had you stayed in Dorne.  He had no clue that you already knew all of that.

And you hadn’t bothered to disabuse him of his misconception.  Why would you?  You assumed you were to die soon, and you didn’t want to burden him or Ellaria with the knowledge of what you had done for them.

You’d had every intention of passing back out of their lives without hurting them with the loss.  But it spoke to how you didn’t see everything after all.  You hadn’t anticipated how quickly both of them would fall for you, the tenterhooks of love sinking into their hearts too quickly.  

The fourth evening was the same.  Karne took to his tent.  Oberyn and Ellaria ate with some of the Westerland lords, new to their cause.  All the while, King’s Landing loomed a little closer each day.  And there was no news out of the north.

Until there was.  Late on the fifth evening, Karne came to Oberyn and Ellaria’s tent.  The man had dark circles under his eyes, and Oberyn knew what had caused them.

“I’ve been to the north,” the Lhazareen told them.  “The battle is over.  A different Stark girl ended it.  A water-dancer too, that one.”  He gifted them a smile – a real one, broad enough to crease his bronzed face.  “The Night King is dead, and the nightingale is still alive.”

Ellaria let out a choked sort of sob, and Oberyn pulled her into a tight hug.  He could feel her trembling against him, and he buried his face in her curls to hide any tears that sprung to his own eyes.

“She’s safe?” he asked, and his voice was a rough growl.

Karne nodded, but his smile faltered a little.  “But she is injured.  Bruises, but more than that.  I felt…a coldness in her.  Whatever she saw in that battle, it left her without hope.”

*****

The news from the north changed something in Karne.  All at once, it was as if a floodgate was opened, and he didn’t limit himself to just evening meals with Oberyn and Ellaria.  Now, he trotted his horse alongside theirs, and the words came out in a torrent.

Ellaria would realize too late what it all meant:  the sudden rush to build understanding between them and you, to give out the insight into you.  Why the man needed to get it all out at once, before the battle for the Iron Throne began.

She felt a nudge at her heart, that morning before the battle commenced.  The Dornish forces, their Westerosi allies – they were all in position outside of the city’s walls, west near the tourney grounds.  They were far enough away to be safe from any archers, but close enough to see the cruel looking scorpions that lined the city walls.

She swore, on the cold breeze that came from the north, she could hear the shrieking of dragons.

And she swore Karne heard it too.  The Lhazareen turned to both her and Oberyn, and his face was twisted in a rare show of emotion.  Desperation, almost, for a man who rarely smiled and who looked distressed even less of the time.

“The nightingale,” he said, and his voice did sound distressed now.  Urgent.  “It’s all artifice with her.  The black uniform, the dragon, the fighting.  She is fragile.  She hides it, but she’s fragile.”  His voice cracked on the last word, his lilting voice sounding as if he might cry.  He ran one of his massive hands through his hair, and the gesture made Ellaria reach across her own horse to pat the man on his shoulder.

“She is still a lost lamb.  She never stopped being such.  So eager to let go of her life because she felt she had no place in this world.”  The plaintive pitch in his voice changed then, and his hand shot out to grab Ellaria’s wrist, hard.  His words came out in a growl.

“Promise me you won’t let her wander anymore.”  The grip on her wrist tightened almost to the point of pain.  “Both of you.  It has to be both of you.  Promise me you’ll protect her from the beasts that would feast on a lost lamb.  Promise me you’ll be the weight that ties her to this world.”

“I-I promise,” Ellaria gasped, and Oberyn wheeled his horse around to murmur his own promise too, his eyes flashing dangerously on the grip the Lhazareen had on his paramour.

Karne fixed both of them with a penetrating stare, but then he finally sighed and nodded.  Released his hold on her.  Muttered something in a language neither understood, then spurred his horse into a brisk trot away from them.

It would be clear to Ellaria well after the fact, but at the moment, she only watched him ride away in slack-jawed wonder.  Oberyn turned and watched him go too.

But neither had a chance to discuss the odd moment, because the shrieks of the dragons grew louder, and the remainder of the Dothraki and Unsullied armies appeared to the north.

And then the battle was upon them.

****

You wondered, each day, if you had died in Winterfell.  There was no other way to describe the lack of feeling.  You weren’t warm or cold, happy or sad.  You just weren’t…anything.  You were numb, as if you’d been dropped into a frozen lake and fished out to go through the world blue and without feeling.

The losses in the north had been catastrophic.  You’d had to stop counting after a while.  The Dothraki who had thought themselves cursed by the Narrow Sea.  More Unsullied than you could count.  The scrappy girl from Bear Island who demanded to fight like a man.  The disciple to the Lord of Light.  Asha’s brother, speared through the gut in the Godswood.  

Ser Jorah.

It had hurt to see Daenerys so distraught.  Ser Jorah had been in her retinue far longer than you had been, and she had wept openly as the funeral pyres were set alight.  He had been a good man, always putting your sister above all else.  Putting her life above all else, even when it meant falling to the moldering spears of a dozen shambling corpses.

So the army that turned back southward was very different than the one that had left Highgarden.  It was smaller from all the losses.  And the survivors were indelibly changed forever.  For you, it felt as though your heart had been frozen in your chest.  You felt like one of those shambling corpses, singularly focused on the next task at hand:  destroy the Lannisters.

-----

King’s Landing appeared all at once, and you didn’t even bother to stop and confer with your sister.  The plan was simple.  Ravens had been sent:  when the Lannisters were ready to surrender, they had but to ring the bells in the city.

Until then?  It would be carnage.

You saw the Dornish army with their Tyrell and Westerland allies, but curiously, you didn’t think of Oberyn or Ellaria or even Willas, who was probably pacing in an awkward limp for lack of news.  Instead, you turned your head to the walls of the city – the lines of scorpions poised and waiting to strike your wondrous dragon out of the sky.

The coldness in you had a benefit:  you seemed to see things with a crystal clarity you hadn’t had before.  Much like how you could see farther afield on a crisp morning than a warm one, you saw the problem and the solution laid out before you.

Scorpions were designed to point upward into the sky, where dragons typically flew.  But Umbrax was a small dragon, much more agile than her bigger cousins.

It was laughably easy to fly her low – barely off the ground, below the scorpions, right under the top of the wall.  You did laugh, a harsh, smoky sound, when Umbrax stretched her long neck up and burned the scorpions from below.  They burned just as well that way, as did the feckless fools who tried to operate them.

It wasn’t difficult to circle the entire city.  Daenerys and her lumbering dragons stayed well back while you took care of the parameter.  Then she swooped in.

And the Lannisters didn’t ring the bells, so carnage it would be.

The remainder of the Lannister forces poured out of the city, as well as the Golden Company.  That surprised you – you thought Tywin and Cersei were out of gold.  No matter.  As it turned out, sell-swords burned just as well as regular soldiers.

Then, it was just as in Winterfell:  too much battling for you to be able to do much.  If you unleashed Umbrax, she would burn Dornishmen or allies from the Reach.  Besides, beyond the smoke and fire and blood roaring in your ears, you could hear them – the bells.  Surrender.

So you circled the tourney grounds, low, looking for a place to land.  There were still pockets of fighting, but it would end soon enough –

And then you saw him.

He stood out.  He always did.  He was tall for a Lhazareen, certainly, but tall for any strain of man.  Somehow Karne had been pulled into the skirmish, a small group of Golden Company soldiers surrounding him –

You didn’t even think.  You pushed Umbrax low, as low as you could, and you slid off of her back while still in flight.  It was ungainly, reckless, and you felt a painful twinge in your ankle as your rolled onto the ground without grace.  But then you gained your feet, and you pulled your glaive from where it was strapped to your back, and you fought your way to him.

Or you tried to.  Gods, how you tried to get to him in time.  Karne was a great many things:  talented shadow-walker, moon-singer, master herbalist.  But he was a shepherd at heart, and those great calloused hands of his always hesitated when wielding a blade.  His rage had burned off long before he had a glaive pushed into his hands.  

Your rage had been fresh when you learned to use the blade.  And that rage sprung from you now as you cut a swath through the Golden Company men.  You were a flurry of movement.  You ignored the pain in your ankle, the stitch in your side as you struggled to catch your breath.  Your blade rang out again and again as it sliced through the men.

Blood soaked the ground.  But you didn’t get there in time.

When the last sell-sword fell to your blade, Karne was already kneeling in the mud.  You got to him just in time to catch him as he fell the rest of the way, but he was already so heavy.  You keened under the weight of him, tried to ease him down gently.

The cold, logical part of you that had been born in Asshai and perfected in Winterfell pointed out the obvious:  Karne was bleeding from too many places.  As you held him, you could feel the life leaving him, and he fixed you with a soft gaze and a smile.

“Little sister,” he whispered through a mouthful of blood, but when you went to shake your head, you saw that he was looking past you.  At nothing at all.

Half a breath later, you felt his spirit leave.  

Whatever change had been wrought in you in the Battle for Winterfell, it wasn’t enough.  Because the pain in your chest, the great tearing feeling, made you throw your head back and wail into the sky.  Umbrax, circling anxiously nearby, let out a shriek that rivaled yours.

You knelt there.  You waited for the death you had foreseen years and years ago.  But it did not come, because Karne had been right all along:  you saw much, but you misunderstood much too.

You knelt on the field of battle, surrounded by blood and fire, just as the vision showed.  You knelt in pain, in the very core of your being, the jagged raw edge of the loss of Karne, the first person to show you love.  Just as the vision had showed.  You knelt and wept, just as you had seen in your vision.

And the grimy hand, reaching for you?  You saw that in your vision, and it came for you now too.  But it wasn’t reaching for you to kill you.  It was reaching out to hold you, to pull you gently from your dead friend, to pull you back from the brink of a terrible madness that threatened to take hold of you.

Oberyn, smoke-stained and bruised from battle, reached for you.  He knelt beside you and brushed the tears out of your eyes until you could focus on him, saying something that you couldn’t make out for the screaming in your ears that turned out to be you.

And then that hand pushed the dragon helm off of your head, it tangled in your sweat-dampened hair, and it pulled you to him in an embrace so tight, so solid and warm, that you couldn’t have followed Karne into the afterlife even if you wanted to.

~~~Tag List~~~ @ayamenimthiriel   @dudeodin   @agingerindenial   @maharani-radha-writes   @ace-fiction   @thesadvampire   @gingerbreadandpaper   @graniairish   @captn-andor   @rpcvliz   @deliciouslyclassytrash   @youhavemyfantasticbeasts   @persie33  @lostinwonderland314  @xsadderdazeforeverx   @terrormonster55   @evee87   @omgsuperstarg   @imspillingcoffee   @blxckhearthood   @talesfromtheguild    @grogusmum   @dreamingfanficsmasher  @googiebeankat   @mikariell95   @lilbopper96   @isvvc-pvscvl   @mrschiltoncat​   @danniburgh

[potteresque-ire]

This post is Part 3 of the five-part meta series on the Zhang Zhehan (張哲瀚) Incident, based on what has transpired up to 2021/08/22.

1) The 2nd Sino-Japanese War (1937-45) & the Yasukuni Shrine 2) Post-War Sino-Japanese Relations; “Every Chinese should visit the Yasukuni Shrine” 3) The Summer of 2021: The Brewing Storms for One 4) My Thoughts on Zhang’s Incident, Part A 5) My Thoughts on Zhang’s Incident, Part B

3) The Summer of 2021: The Brewing Storms for One

Parts 1 and 2 are my very rough, … kindergartenish introduction to the historical background of Zhang’s incident. For the sake of brevity (please don’t laugh), there are so many things I haven’t touched on (such as the role of the U.S., the geopolitics). There are even more things I’ve likely missed from my admitted ignorance (Sorry).

I think a fair summary of what I’ve written so far would be as follows, before we move on to other sociopolitical factors related to Zhang’s incident?

It is true that the Japanese government, while having shown signs of repentance, has yet to truly face its own past. 

It is also true that the Chinese government has been taking advantage of its national tragedy to fuel nationalistic sentiments, to spread hatred for the purpose of propaganda ...

... Propaganda that is highly sensitive to timing, the message the regime wants to send at the moment. 

In August, 2021, Sino-Japanese relations is at a nadir. The brief thaw in early 2020, initiated by the Japanese government donating masks to Wuhan when COVID first broke out, seemed to be as old as the Chinese poem printed on the shipping boxes:  山川異域 風月同天 (“Our mountains and rivers are on different lands, but our winds and moon share the same sky”)—from the 779 BCE work of a Tang dynasty monk who had sailed to Japan as a missionary, affirming the long cultural bond between the two nations. China would give masks back to Japan.

Fast forward eighteen months later, this good will is all but gone in Chinese news, on Chinese social media. The Japanese government had just vowed to join the United States to protect Taiwan, should the Chinese government furthers its military threat towards the island — the People’s Liberation Air Forces had already intruded Taiwan’s air defence zone 393 times between January 1st and August 17th of 2021 — or should the Chinese government attempts to take over the democratic island nation by force. 

Late July came, and the Tokyo Olympics presented the opportunity for the Chinese state to broadcast anti-Japanese sentiments among the general populace. 

Like USSR and the Eastern Bloc before, the Communists-ruled China saw the Olympics medal count as a matter of national pride. After the Games began, the hot search turned immediately from the Henan flood to stories of the Tokyo Games’ subjectively awful organisation, alleged cheatings by the Japanese athletes, and the perceived unfairness of, in particular, Japanese judges towards the Chinese team that cost the latter more and better medals. This fervour cumulated to the cyberbullying of Japanese athletes by high-on-nationalism Chinese netizens, who brought back Japan’s past as a reason why Japan and its people should be universally hated. Reminders of the horrific brutality of the Imperial Japanese Army eighty years before the Games surfaced in Chinese social media posts. The derogatory slangs 小日本 (“Little Japan”), and 鬼子 (Guizi “demons”), the latter harking back to the nickname of the Imperial Japanese Army during World War II, populated online Olympics discussions.

Japanese netizens are aware of the derogatory terms Chinese nationalistic netizens use against them. In 2010, they fought back the 小日本 and 鬼子 insults by designing cute anime characters for these names. (Source1, Source2). 

August, 2021 is not a good time to be accused of liking the Japanese.

August, 2021 is not a good time to be accused of liking the Japanese, especially if the accused is a celebrity in the c-ent industry. The ongoing Clear and Bright Campaign (清朗行動) includes, as its 8th aim, the “regulation of stars and the organisations behind them, internet behaviour of their official fan clubs”. Possibly as a welcome to the summer vacation for the country’s youth, on June 15th, 2021, the Cyberspace Administration of China (CAC) had announced it would spend the next two months focused on rectifying the “chaos caused by fan circles” (‘飯圈’亂象). 

The Kris Wu (吳亦凡) case that had exploded in July then turned the public’s attention (and imagination) squarely on c-ent and the alleged “insanity” of c-ent fandoms, particularly those of idols. Wu’s fans had been met with ridicule and cyberbullying, especially those who had tried to “save” their idol by attempting to perform, when the incident had first broken out, what is customary per Chinese fan circle culture—to drown the criticisms with their supportive messages, their defences of their favourite stars; with their offences towards the accusers and in some cases, who the fans point to as the true culprits accompanied by the necessary “evidences”. Widespread reports of Wu’s fans planning a prison break after Wu’s arrest, propagated by the state media despite the number of such fans could’ve numbered to no more than a handful, further fuelled the narrative that c-ent idol worship has become cult-like, with the fans being so brainwashed that they can no longer distinguish right or wrong. 

This narrative of “fans would say or do anything to defend an idol” means that if or when accusations fall on the latter, little can be said in their defence even if the defence has its merits. Fans who make the defence are accused of being “brain-disabled” (腦殘); non-fans, of being brain-disabled fans in disguise.

Political cartoon from People’s Daily, 2021/08/02, 2 days after Kris Wu’s arrest (English translations by me). The slogan at the bottom says “The Deformed “Fan Circle Culture” has turned cold”. “Turning cold” (涼了) means to lose popularity. (Source) 

Last but not least, in August 2021, the online platforms that host the content of state propaganda, of fandom talk, of c-idols’ works are also in quicksand themselves. Without getting into too much details, since earlier this year, the Chinese government has been targeting the tech giants, once considered untouchable with their significant contributions to the economy. Most international fans of c-ent are likely familiar with Tencent. Alibaba is also a major player in c-ent: it’s the owner of Youku, for example; it is also a major investor of Sina (the company in control of Weibo) and also—a piece of trivia for turtles—of Yuehua (Dd’s management company). These tech companies have been charged with antitrust violations, been the target of cybersecurity probes, accused by the state media of hurting China’s youth with “spiritual opium” in the form of video games etc, and their stock prices have been tumbling as a result. 

The tech giants, and the online platforms under their ownership, have therefore been extra vigilant, extra compliant to messages from the state, in attempts to gain the government’s favour. Just a few days ago (2021/08/21), Tencent vowed to donate 7.7 billion USD to the government, heeding Xi’s call for “common prosperity” (re-distribution of wealth), adding to the 7.7 billion USD it already donated in April for the government’s “sustainable social values” program. While both donations are officially philanthropic, most political and market watchers interpret the donations as Tencent trying to achieve a less-than-philanthropic goal—to get the state regulators off its back.

Following this line of logic then, these tech giants, and their online platforms, have got to be extra quick on their feet in August 2021 to sever ties with anyone perceived to have drawn the displeasure of the government. If that anyone is a c-ent idol, the loss for removing their works and fandom content is nothing compared to the price these companies may pay if the eyes of the state regulators train upon them: the latest fine Alibaba paid for breaking the anti-monopoly law, in April, amounted to 2.8 billion USD.  

All these factors considered, there are better days … far better days than the ones in August 2021, for a c-ent idol to have his Yasukuni Shrine visit become an item on Weibo’s hot search.

===

The Zhang Zhehan Incident Meta Series:

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3  <- YOU ARE HERE PART 4 PART 5

[himitsu-luna]

Nct 127 - Creature series

File #6 - Jaehyun, the vampire

Genre: angst, supernatural, romance

Warnings: death of characters, mentions of killing methods, mentions of blood, pain, description of vampire bites and perfuration

Pairing: Jaehyun x reader

Featuring: Jeno

Word count: 2.7 k

Nct 127 creature series masterlist

The story

Jaehyun was born in 1797, as a normal human.

At that time, mankind and the vampire breed had a tense relationship. But, very strangely, everything seemed under control

When he was 24, because of a series of unfortunate events, involving conspirations and betrayals, a war broke out between the two races

Jaehyun, as a young soldier and leader of a troop, were sent to the battlefield.

Sad and bitter events happened, and he was turned into a vampire.

Since then, he lives for centuries and centuries, going from place to place, playing hundreds of roles, experiencing hundreds of lives, looking for one thing that keeps him going through his imortal existence

The powers

You either are born as a vampire or you become one.

You only become a vampire if you get bitten by one

However, when you get bitten by a vampire, it doesn't necessarily mean you will become one.

The cruel part of turning into a vampire is that it's not for free. In reality, it's an exchange of a life for another life.

The vampire transformation takes 2 hours to be completed, and it will only fully consolidate if the bitten person drinks a considerably large amount of human or vampire blood before the two hours end. Otherwise, when the time comes to an end, the person dies.

The person or vampire bitten by the incomplete transformed vampire inevitably succumbs.

In other words, the vampire transformation is always tragic, because someone always perishes in the end.

Vampires drink blood to survive, but it doesn't need to be human blood. They can survive with other animal's blood, but human blood is a completely different treat.

Jaehyun has an abnormal strenght, and over developed senses

He has basic telepathic and telekinetic abilities, which gives him great manipulation skills

He has the ability of quickly healing physical wounds

A few things are able to end his life though: fire, drowning, decapitation

– Report: Incident number 1

°°°

[year: 1821]

– "Jaehyun, do you really have to go?", you ask your husband for the 100th time at the doorstep of your house, firmly holding his hands, barely able to see him with your eyes blurred by tears.

– "Y/N, I do. I'm their leader. I need to fight. I need to protect everyone. And most importantly, I need to protect you. Don't worry, my love, I'll be back. I promise..." , Jaehyun responds you with a suplicant tone, his voice sounding deeper than usual, as he tries to hide the shakiness on it.

After a last passionate kiss, a last squeeze of hands, and a last long glance holding the desire of the two of you to freeze time, Jaehyun goes through the door without looking back. He has to admit he is afraid he may not live up to his promise. Vampires are scary beings. Powerful, almost untouchable. It's incredible how humans stand in this war against these creatures so far. Fortunately, some powerful vampires still side mankind, hoping the unlikely coexistence.

Taking a deep breath, Jaehyun jumps into the colourless truck that is going to take him and dozens of other soulless men to the battlefield.

...

[6 months later]

– "CHEERS TO JAEHYUN!!!!!!!"

– "CHEERS!!!!!!!"

– "Guys, guys!! Calm down!!! Hahahaha"

Jaehyun is being carried by dozens of euforic men, acclaimimg their leader for his bravery and determination to get every single one of his mates back to their families. The war is over. The last vampires retreated and, finally, peaceful days can be seen in the horizon. Tears are being shared, parties are being planned, but in the middle of all the deafening happiness, Jaehyun's only desire is to sink into your warm hugs again.

...

Turning around the last corner to reach his home, his heart racing madly, Jaehyun meets your comforting figure, that waited for him every single day at the door since he left, and that now is running to him with arms open. The vision of you completely blinds Jaehyun. He missed you so much. He can't wait to feel you again. But it blinds him so badly that he can't see the bloodthirst creature hidden in a dark alley, ready to jump on him. Still with his eyes glued on you, he watches your smiley face abruptly squirming into pure horror. He was given not even half of a second to process that scene, as he suddenly feels a piercing pain in his jugular, followed by his entire body landing on the ground, then a light breeze brushing his now even paler skin, as the treacherous vampire vanishes from the scene, releasing, with his gutural voice, an almost incomprehensible yet still powerful word: "Revenge".

Jaehyun’s senses are all messed up and his body convulses violently. But even imersed in chaos, his brain tries hard to not lose itself completely, as it percieves you getting closer and closer.

– "DON'T COME!!!" - he desperately yells, in his last effort to maintain his sanity.

But it's too late.

His concious falls apart completely. Everything gets red. Everything is too much, everything is overwhelming. He can clearly hear a rythmic heartbeat, that is not his own, resonating inside of his skull. He can clearly see the tempting purple path under a layer of skin, shining in high saturation in a waving hypnotizing motion. He can clearly feel his teeth landing on a soft surface and sinking deep into it. He can clearly taste the metalic flavor of blood spreading through his tongue. And after all of that, he can clearly smell your floral perfume, he can clearly feel hot heavy tears running down his cheeks, as he realizes what he has done.

Slowly getting his mind back as the sharp fangs retracts to the normal sized canines he is used to, Jaehyun is left in agony, all his face muscles contracted into profound sadness, looking at your fragile figure in his arms.

–"No no no no NOOO!!!! PLEASE NO!! Y/N, TALK TO ME!! Talk to me...please.....", he implores you, swinging his body back and forth, trying to keep you awake.

–"Jae.... It's ok.... It's o..k.... You... Are back... I'm so happy..." - you murmur, lifting your hand to wipe the cheeks of your beloved one.

You know how this works. You know that Jaehyun has become a vampire, and you know he won't die. You know he is safe. With that thought in mind, you smile relieved. You let your eyelids fall along with your hand, and, spending all of your remaining energy, you force your lips to move one last time : – "I love you...".

....

Standing in front of your grave, depositing your favorite flowers on the shining black marble, Jaehyun mentalizes his sorrowfull wishes over and over again, hoping they reach you:

– "I promise, Y/N, I promise you... I'll find you in whenever life you live, I promise I'll go back to you. I promise."

...

[Year: 2021]

–"OmG, I'll be late!! No no noo!!!! Stupid alarm!!" - you yell at the air, tripping on your cozy blankets, from your bed to your way to the ground.

A job like that would never fall on your lap again, for sure. You were a just graduated college student, visibly lost in the adult world, looking for a job so you can survive. You still can't believe that such a big company sent you this unexpected invite, willing to hire you. "I'm not mad, though.", you cheerfully think, while quickly spraying some perfum on the birthmark you have on your neck.

Shoving a piece of dry toast into your mouth while putting on your shoes, you rush to your first day at your new job.

....

You made it in time. Waiting for having a word with your new boss, you briefly look at yourself on the hand mirror you always take with you, fixing your messy hair and straightening your black blazer. Distracted in your own little world, you jump in surprise when an elegant man silently steps in the room, stands by your side without you noticing, and announces, with a resonant voice right into your ear:

– "Boss is ready to see you"

Having a look at the name tag hanging over the man's chest, you thank him:

–"Ohh, thank you.. hmm.. mr. Jeno! And I'm pleased to meet you!"

Jeno gives you a discreet smile, guiding you to a enormous poor iluminated room, in which a gorgeous and imponent figure stands behind an impressive desk. Your pupils take a few seconds to adjust to the weak lighting, but as soon as you exchange stares with that mysterious man, a weird wave of excitement runs throughout your whole body, like your blood is bubbling inside of your veins. You've never felt like this before, and it intensifies when you finally hear a deep, smooth, and weirdly familiar voice coming out of his mouth:

– Report: Incident number two

–"Hello, Y/N. Nice to meet you. You can call me Jaehyun".

–––

It has been five years you're working at Jaehyun's company. And it has been three years you stand beside him not only as his employee, but also as his lover.

Jaehyun is a fascinating man. But there's something very odd about him. You don't know if it's the way he seems to be able to go deep into your mind. If its the way he has the knowledge of an ancient person. If it's the way everything he does feels nostalgic. If it's the way he looks at you and you can see, along with a sincere love, deep sadness and sorrowfullness emanating from his eyes. If it's the way you are sure you knew him already even before your first encounter. If it's the way you feel like you've been waiting for him your whole life. –" Oh well, maybe there's something very odd about me as well." , you think in a dreamy state while watching Jaehyun sleeping peacefully beside you.

...

You are at Jaehyun's house, distractedly walking around and running your fingers through the fancy furniture, waiting for him so you can have the homemade dinner he's been promising you for weeks now. He finally found an empty spot in his busy schedule, and it has been good thirty minutes since Jeno let you know he and your boyfriend were at the supermarket, picking some ingredients. "Jaehyun must be so lost right now", you chuckle to yourself, wondering what weird things he would buy. But with the chuckle, you feel a light discomfort in your chest. You have a weak heart condititon since birth, so you're used to this sensation. "Ahh, not today! Today I have to be 100% good!" , you scold yourself, hoping the annoying feeling ceases soon.

But it's not. The light discomfort turns into a light pain. The light pain turns into a fierce pain. The fierce pain turns into and unbearable pain. Imersed in your suffering, you automatically massage your heart area and sustain your body stood by grabbing the nearest thing you can reach. And, before you lose your senses entirely, you can feel this thing moving, holding you tightly and carefully, and calling your name with that deep voice you loved so much : – " Y/N!!!!!!!!"

....

Staring at your motionless body on his arms, the dejavu Jeahyun is having is breaking him apart. After dozens of peaceful lives with you, he was not expecting losing you like this once more. Gradually and certainly, he is following your heartbeat on its crescent silence. He doesn't want to feel this pain again. If it's selfish, if it's benevolent, it's tricky – and even unfair – to judge the only thought that goes through Jaehyun's mind right now. With a decided and firm tone, he instructs Jeno:

– "Jeno, look after her, please. That's my last order to you."

With an almost imperceptible widening of eyes, seeing how his master determination even made his quivering less severe, Jeno answers him, trying to transmit in his voice the confidence and reliability he knows Jaehyun needs to feel.

– "Yes master, I understand. I will."

This phrase brings a peaceful expression to Jaehyun's face. Focusing completely on you, Jaehyun's fangs sharpen and he plants them into the flesh of your neck. You imediatelly wake up, as a wave of electricity runs through your body and excites every cell of it. You don't know what is happening, everything is so confusing with your blurred red vision. But you know you're thirsty. Your throat feels dry, and it claims something that is not water. You sense someone's body pressing itself on yours and, instinctively, you deep your teeth into the warmness, finding yourself satiating your needs with some unknown viscous liquid.

And a movie starts to play before your eyes. A movie staring you and Jaehyun. A movie showing all of your lives together. A wedding at a beach you've never been before. Jaehyun holding an unfamiliar happy dog you didn't know you missed so badly. You and him wearing antique clothes you've never owned, discussing about what to cook for dinner while watching the sunset. His crying face painted with red blots, his body swinging back and forth holding you in his arms, trying to keep you awake.

Drowning in an ocean of memories, you frantically attempt to resurface back to your present reality. Slowly pulling your teeth out of Jaehyun's neck, you gently wrap your arms around his cold body and sink your forehead onto his shoulders.

– "Jae... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...."

– "It's.... ok, Y/N, it's ok.... I'm the one who is sorry"

– "No! It must have been so difficult for you... All these years, all this waiting... I'm so sorry... And... thank you so much."

– "I know... You... Would do the same... For me."

At this point, you are not trying to hold your tears anymore. At this point, Jaehyun's life is already hanging by a thin thread. Showing his dimples to you, his last words come faint, but still carry heavily the pure meaning of them:

– "I love you."

[Year: 2058]

– "Master, the apartment was rented successfully.", the serious and steady man says coming out of nowhere, getting by surprise your anxious and wondering mind.

– "OMG, Jeno! Are you a vampire or a ghost, please!! But ok, thank you a lot. Let's prepare everything then." , you respond, barely hiding your excitement.

Packing your things in an untidy chaotic way, you suddenly stop your actions. Hesitantly and avoiding eye contact, you ask Jeno something that has been bothering you for years now:

–" ....Hmm...Jeno.... Do you.... Do you think he will still like me?"

Even though he was caught off guard by your question, Jeno promptly replies:

– "I have no doubt about it, master. Thousand of years could pass, his love for you would remain the very same. I've witnessed it, trust me."

You bite your bottom lip, trying to conceal the wide smile forming on your red crying face.

....

*Knock Knock*

Lying on the couch of his living room, Jaehyun lazily raises only his head, wondering who could be knocking on his door. He definetely is not willing to stop watching his drama to answer the unknown visitor.

*Knock knock*

Finally accepting that staring at the door would not make something magically happen, he decides to get up and open it. However, he was not expecting that such a trivial thing would be so life changing.

– " Hi, I'm your new neighbor! My name is Y/N, nice to meet you!", you nervously say, extending your already sweat hand to the admired boy in front of you.

Jaehyun is astonished. He thought he had his whole life figured out. But, all of sudden, only now he can say that everything makes sense, that everything is where they should be. Only now he truly feels alive. Like a breath of fresh air, like he is living in a completely new world, he grabs your hand firmly, afraid you could vanish, and asks you in disbelief:

–" Do I know you from somewhere?"

–" Maybe...", you answer, with a mischievous yet tender expression painted on your face.

Jaehyun smiles at you softly, feeling the comfort and the sense of familiarity that only centuries of linked lives could bring him.

•° taglist - @soleilsuhh @dionysus-wine @cupidluvstarrz @kpopsnowball @kaepopsicle @purplepsycho03 @najatheangel @dundun-baby @haifengg @intokook @emuava @reallylikethevibeshere @cafemochi

* If you want to be added to or removed from the taglist, just send me an ask or a message (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

•° Main masterlist

...

[agerefandom]

The TARDIS Playroom

Fandom: Doctor Who

Characters: Regressor!Thirteenth Doctor, Graham O’Brien

Words: 2,000

Summary: The TARDIS has had a playroom for a long time, and The Doctor doesn’t spend enough time in there. One day, while she’s regressing, Graham wanders into the TARDIS and finds her playing.

Warnings: Nothing that I can think of, aside from the accidental regression reveal! Little bit of baby talk around a pacifier near the end. Also, I didn’t bother to correct all my Canadianisms in this fic (ie. ‘pacifier’ instead of ‘dummy’), apologies if that bothers anyone!

for @andromedaspace​

It wasn’t often that The Doctor took a day off. There was always something interesting to do, somewhere to be, sometime that needed help getting back on track. But occasionally there was a lull: companions visiting families, no emergency broadcasts screeching through the TARDIS, just the hum of the ship and countless miles of corridors stretching into paradox space.

And then, maybe, if things had been busy lately, and there were injuries to nurse, and too many close calls… The Doctor would rest.

From the console room, the sounds of a Sheffield street could be heard through the front doors. Those doors were locked, the TARDIS tucked away into a little alcove between two fences down the street from Graham and Ryan’s house. Further into the TARDIS, music could be heard: an upbeat France Gall song. Hard to place the music in the twisting, impossible hallways of the TARDIS, but not impossible. Down a flight of stairs, and turning to the left, an open door revealed The Doctor’s current whereabouts.

Most of the TARDIS was warmly lit, crystals growing up the walls and in the centre of larger rooms. This room was no exception, stalactites hanging from the ceiling and providing a golden glow, but the floor wasn’t grated metal like the rest of the TARDIS. Here, the floor was covered in carpets, messily tossed over each other, and pillows and blankets on top of that, giving the room an appearance of a large and badly constructed bed.

The Doctor sat in the middle of the chaos, happily sucking on her pacifier. She’d chosen a new one after her most recent regeneration, blue and patterned with yellow jewels that sparkled in the crystal lights above her. A series of stuffed creatures were spread around her, some of the bigger ones leaning against the walls, and two of her favourites currently chatting in her lap, held up by her hands.

The policies of the N’ga’shto are more complicated than you’re making them seem! the blue Knashta was saying.

You’re being deliberately obtuse, his companion responded, a plush puppy The Doctor had picked up in Munich in 2032. The great Ish’ka is clearly a figurehead, and cannot be held responsible for the actions of his parliament.

The Doctor tilted her head back and forth between the two stuffies, making them bobble their heads as they argued. The act of playing pretend wasn’t something that had been practiced on Gallifrey, but the school-children were encouraged to debate foreign policy and challenge each other’s ability to recall the elders’ teachings. She enjoyed merging the two activities, watching her soft friends argue about things that mattered. If things got too intense or she got stuck, everything could be solved with a big hug and a nap. That was how playtime worked.

Sure enough, both the Knashta and unusually smart puppy were distracted when the next song came on, and started to dance, their soft legs tossing back and forth as The Doctor made them dance together. She laughed, her pacifier muffling the sound, and rolled onto her back, holding her plushies close. The puppy’s fur tickled her neck, and she pushed him off with a reproachful glance. The Doctor did not like to be tickled.

Well… did she? She certainly hadn’t, in most of her regenerations, but she didn’t think anyone had tried yet. Yasmin and Ryan would occasionally get into spats, trying to poke each other’s sides, but they never went after Graham or The Doctor. She would have to find some way to figure that out!

The Doctor ran her fingers down her sides, but it didn’t feel very ticklish when she did it. Sighing, she rolled over on top of her Knashta plush and rested her forehead on the carpeted floor. This was one of her favourites in the room, a rich oriental pattern that was so very soft to lie on. She ran her hands over the fabric, humming happily, and then pushed herself back to sitting.

It was while The Doctor was pushing herself up that she finally saw Graham standing in the hallway, hand raised as if to knock on the open door.

Her mouth opened in surprise and her pacifier fell out, landing on one of the pillows under her knees. She clutched her Knashta to her chest, automatically defensive. There was no reason to be scared, she knew, not of Graham, but this was her secret room, and he wasn’t supposed to see all this!

Oh, but she had been stupid, not asking the TARDIS to let her know if one of her companions used their key to come for a visit.

“I can go if it’s a bad time?” Graham said, finally lowering his hand from where it had been hovering by the door. “I didn’t mean to bother you, Doc. I texted a while ago and you didn’t get back to me.”

The Doctor had left her phone in the pocket of her normal clothes, which she didn’t wear at playtime. All at once, she was very aware of her bare knees. She loved her shorts and all of their many pockets, but they weren’t for people-time, they were for playtime! She tugged a pillow out of the pile and pushed it against her knees, frowning in Graham’s direction.

Then she felt bad for being rude: Graham hadn’t done anything wrong, after all. She was the one who hadn’t texted back.

“Ah, sorry,” she managed, gesturing for the TARDIS to turn the music off. “Don’t have my phone with me. Was it… important?” The Doctor tilted her head to the side.

“Not in the least,” Graham chuckled. “I was just wondering if you wanted to come for dinner, that’s all. Going to flex my cooking muscles, make some stir fry. Very impressive stuff.”

“Mmm.” The Doctor nodded, making her lips smile.

“Listen, I really am sorry for coming in without shouting first.” Graham pushed his hands into his pockets, looking guilty. “TARDIS has started to feel a little too much like home, but it’s your ship. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

“No, no!” Oh, she’d made everything bad and now Graham would feel uncomfortable and he wouldn’t want to come and visit her anymore. “I, you can come anywhere! The TARDIS is your home! This room isn’t just for me, it’s nice for sleepovers, and… I can share?” The Doctor held her stuffie out in front of her, trying not to look too worried.

“That’s a nice gesture, Doc. May I come in?”

“Yes, of course! No shoes.” The Doctor sat back on her heels and watched Graham toe off his boots, stepping onto the soft patchwork surface of the carpets. He was looking around, and The Doctor followed his gaze: mismatched pillows, piles of soft bedding, stuffed animals bigger than she could wrap her arms around, all scattered across the space. Did Graham think it was weird?

“Do you hate it?” she heard herself ask. She never did have a very good brain to mouth filter.

“Hate it?” Graham seemed genuinely surprised by the question. “No, kiddo, it looks super cozy. How often do you spend time here?”

The Doctor attempted to untangle timelines in her mind, straighten them out along human measurements.

“Every few months?” she guessed, rubbing the Knashta’s head between its many button eyes. “Not a lot.”

“That’s a crying shame.” Graham folded himself into a sitting position in front of her, hands on his knees. “Space like this deserves lots of time. Look at all these blankets!” He looked at her for permission as he reached out, and The Doctor liked that. She gave him a nod, and he tugged one of the fuzzy blankets onto his lap. “There, now I feel cozy.” He tucked it in around his knees and toes, and settled down with a sigh. “Who’s your friend?”

“They’re a Knashta,” The Doctor said, fighting down a silly wave of shyness as she held her friend out for Graham to see. “They’re a rebel and they don’t like big leaders, but they lack revolutionary nuance.”

“And do they have a name?”

The Doctor shook her head. She didn’t name most of her stuffies because remembering all those names would take a lot of memory space, and she preferred to remember the names of all the real people she saw from day to day.

“Hmmm, would you mind if I gave them a name?” Graham asked, running a hand over his stubbly cheeks as he smiled. The Doctor knew that Graham only did that when he was really happy, and usually when he was outside in the sun. It was nice that he was doing it here, with her, in the crystal-lit playroom of the TARDIS.

“You can give them a name if you want.” The Doctor’s shoulders were starting to hurt from holding up the plushie, but she would hold them up until they received a name. Names were important, so Graham needed to look closely.

“Well, let’s think for a moment.” Graham rubbed his chin, pushed his eyebrows together, and pursed his lips. The Doctor fought down a laugh at his exaggerated thinking expression. “I’ve got it! They look like a Greg.”

“Greg?” The Doctor said dubiously, looking at the Knashta. Knashtar usually had much longer names, but sometimes they took shorter nicknames when visiting other planets. It could be short for Gr’egtha’shvantanos, which was a proper Knashta name.

“Undoubtedly.” Graham smacked his hands against his knees. “I’d know a Greg anywhere.”

The Doctor brought Greg back to her chest, hugging them firmly. Their eyes pressed against the bottom of her chin, but that was alright. No one said love was easy. “I love Greg.”

“They love you too,” Graham said.

“Do they?” The Doctor wasn’t sure why the question slipped out of her. All of her friends in the playroom loved her, and she loved them. That was what plushies were for, loving and being loved. Soft and simple and comforting.

“There’s not a person who can get a hug from you and not love you, Doc. Take my word on it.”

The Doctor hid her smile behind her newly named Greg, glancing up to see Graham with a matching grin.

“You dropped this, by the way.” Graham hooked a finger through the handle of her pacifier and brought it up. “Yours, kiddo?”

The Doctor nodded reluctantly. She had been hoping Graham hadn’t seen it, but he clearly had. That was one of the things that wasn’t a people-time thing. Even if it was very comforting and helped her think, even when she was big.

“Here you go.” Graham offered it to her and The Doctor opened her mouth automatically. Graham blinked: oh, he’d wanted to hand it to her. Before The Doctor could correct her mistake, he reached forward and popped the dummy into her mouth. She hummed, relaxing with the familiar pressure on her tongue.

“T’nk y’u,” she said around the pacifier.

“Not a problem,” Graham said, and patted her on the head. Oh, that was nice… she had so missed people touching her hair. Almost before she knew what she was doing, she chased the touch, pressing into Graham’s hand. “Oh! Hello.” Graham chuckled, but willingly scratching his fingers through her hair, all the way to the back of her scalp.

The Doctor melted, her head coming to rest on Graham’s knee, with Greg the Knashta held close against her. They were her new favourite. But also, Graham was her new favourite, as long as he kept petting her head.

“Well. You’re over here now,” he said, and moved a piece of her hair out of her face. “Big flop, Doc. Thinking about a nap?”

“M’ybe,” The Doctor sighed, closing her eyes as Graham started to comb his fingers through her hair again.

“I’ve gotta be home at six to start dinner, but there’s plenty of time for a nap before then. I’ll stay here with you.”

“L’v y’u,” The Doctor said, the world already getting softer around her. She could feel Graham’s affection and comfort radiating from his hands. Thanks to the physical contact, she was receiving vague thoughts and impressions, so she heard Graham’s response before he said it out loud.

“Love you too, kiddo. Sleep well.”

[tailorvizsla]

You didn't think I wouldn't ask for some Boba Fett though now did you? (Of course not, he is the new shiny for me iuwhei) ✨ HC Of my Choice... What about having your first kiss with Boba and he doesn't #know it is your first one till part-way through or after? Am I projecting? Yes, yes I am.

Title: HC – Boba Fett and First Kiss Pairing: Gender neutral Reader x Boba Fett Word Count: ~1700 Rating: PG-13 Warnings: Boba Fett is a grumpy bastard, but you hold your own against him. Boba also gets injured, but there aren’t any graphic descriptions of the injuries. Author’s Notes: Okay, my Angle, I’ve been thinking about this one for as long as it’s been sitting in my inbox. I’m not familiar with Boba Fett’s character, so I wanted to make sure this was good for you. So, without further ado, here we go with the Big Green Grumpy Jerk who has somehow inexplicably charmed his way into my heart with a few gruff comments.

Tagging @princessbatears because chaos? :>

📚 My Master List 📚

Boba Fett isn’t a man of many words. It’s not that he’s shy or anything – he just doesn’t like talking to people beyond what is necessary. He has worked alone his entire life, so the sound of others’ voices just sort of grates on him. He especially does not like being crowded by people.

So, one day, while doing his thing, he ends up injured. It’s not even due to combat. His jetpack just…sputters out. His beskar’gam turns what should have been a fatal fall into a very painful one. He knows he has broken a lot of bones, but Boba refuses to die like this. He crawls his way back to his bike, calls for medical aid, and prays to the Maker that someone in town will come help him.

You are the only person who does come to help him. Most other people are too afraid of the Imperial remnants to work with a Mandalorian. Others are too afraid of Mandalorians to work with a Mandalorian. You? You are not afraid of much. He is not sure if you are brave or stupid. After splinting the worst of the damage, you get him onto the bike and get him back into town. It is at this point that Boba finds himself leaning toward thinking you are stupidly caring and trusting.

You inject him with bacta – the good kind that makes him giggly, sleepy, and numb – and get to work. When he wakes up, he’s wrapped in an annoying number of casts and splints, but at least he’s still alive. However, you then give him the bad news: the fall has damaged many of the delicate nerves in his back. If he fails to undergo physical therapy, there is a real chance he may never walk again. He’s no medical expert, but when he looks at the scans you took, he knows you aren’t lying.

So, Boba resigns himself to having to deal with you on a regular basis. The first physical therapy exercises are simple, yet they exhaust him to the point where he just passes out. As the days go by, he starts putting up the walls to keep you out. (Spoiler alert: you manage to find your way through the cracks in the wall, annoying him with barely any effort on your behalf.)

Now, under ideal circumstances, this shitshow would end with Boba Fett getting back on his feet, paying you handsomely for the amount of time you have spent getting him put together, and going back to bounty hunting, never to think of you again. But of course, the universe throws an even bigger wrench into his carefully thought-out plans. Someone finds out that you’re taking care of him and a whole bunch of angry townspeople converge on your little clinic. He grabs you and the two of you run. The last thing you see is your clinic going up in flames. (Boba can’t believe the shortsightedness of these people – they’ve driven off their only competent medical professional. What are they going to do next? Kill their only competent mechanic? Di’kute, every last one of them.)

And so, the two of you go off on a merry adventure, annoying the absolute shit out of each other on a regular basis. Boba especially is concerned at how easily you have managed to find every single weak point in his defenses – physical, mental, and emotional. You are a fair shot with your blaster, so when he got fresh with you that one time, telling you that your ass looked downright edible in the trousers you had borrowed from him, you drew your blaster and fired a shot off at his feet. He laughed so hard his bucket nearly fell off. (You are not sure if you are disturbed that he finds being shot at amusing. He does scold you a bit, but you do notice that he does not talk about your ass anymore.)

With your knife? You’re lethal, and he learns that the hard way when he fails to announce his presence behind you. One moment Boba is reaching to touch your shoulder and the next moment, he’s got your elbow in his face and your penknife embedded in his flak vest. Fortunately, the blade’s too short to cause serious damage, but he does not let you forget that you kriffing stabbed him when he was only trying to ask you what you wanted for dinner.

Even though Boba would rather cover himself in tiingilar sauce and crawl back into the sarlacc pit headfirst than ever admit it, the two of you make a damn good team. He goes off to hunt bounties, you stay in town to provide your medical services for a fair fee. Sometimes, when your services are not needed, you’ll hang back at the ship and do some basic accounting to keep him within his budget.

Boba grumbles when you ask to accompany him on a hunt, but he figures you really do need to learn how to defend yourself if anything should happen to him. When the two of you were surrounded by goons, you naturally fell into place behind him, your back to his, covering his shebs while he provides the heavy firepower. When the numbers are thinned to something more manageable, he sets you loose on them, letting you practice your knife skills. And by the Maker, he is impressed with how much you have improved since the last time you stabbed him.

Between hunts, you get his shebs back into fighting shape. Hell, he thinks he’s even better than he was before. The exercises you insist on forcing on him have made him more flexible than he was before, and his bones no longer creak first thing in the morning. One particularly hot, muggy day, you try to make him drink that vile green vegetable concoction you call a smoothie. Smooth his shebs, there are chunks in that liquefied animal feed. Sometimes he wonders if you’re trying to kill him on purpose.

(You don’t know this, but Boba has already arranged for everything in his possession, ships and banking accounts included, to be transferred to you in the event of his death. Hell, he has even started negotiating with a friendly Tribe to make sure you have a home to go to and your pick of their warriors for marriage, should you be interested. Boba justifies it this way: the last time his jetpack mutinied, he ended up several hundred thousand credits in debt to you by his estimation. By ensuring you have a safe place to go, and a family ready to welcome you, he can offset the immeasurable debt he owes you. It hurts to think of this, but Boba genuinely cannot bear the thought of you being alone in this cruel galaxy, the same way he had been when he was a child. So, if he ever does piss you off to the point where you off him in his sleep, you’ll be fine.)

You keep pushing and pushing, insisting that he needs B-vitamins or some other bantha-shit he’s sure you’ve made up for the sole purpose of annoying him. When you start going on about macronutrients and essential vitamins, Boba loses it. He tosses his cutlery down and goes stomping off toward the cockpit. You follow him, blathering on and on about the last blood panel you had pulled – HDLs, LDLs, and a whole slew of acronyms later, he loses it. Rather than snap at you, he shuts you up the only way his poor sleep-deprived brain can come up with.

Boba pushes you up against the wall, gently to avoid hurting you. You don’t seem at all phased. In fact, you start waving the paper at him as you try to draw his attention to his sodium levels. Boba leans in and presses his lips to yours. You finally stop talking, your entire body going stiff in response. He takes a moment to nibble along your lower lip before parting your lips with his, tongue probing a bit deeper in, and you still aren’t responding. Boba draws back and stares down at you. You’re wide-eyed and clearly in shock.

He leans in again. This time you respond clumsily, your hands clutching at that stupid piece of paper. He gently wrestles it out of your grasp and crumples it up. Then he tosses it over his shoulder, not caring where it lands. He cups the back of your head and deepens the kiss. Still, you’re not responding the way he wants, so he draws back.

“What, never been kissed before?” he asks.

Before he can say anything else, he realizes that that was your first kiss. While Boba has never wanted to be anyone’s First Anything, he realizes that he wants to make an exception for you. There’s no one in this entire galaxy who can annoy the shit out of him in one breath and then worry about his health in the next. You are his little baar’ur. After you have wormed your way under his plating and so selfishly made yourself a fixture in his life without his permission? Oh, no, no, you are not going anywhere.

He cuts off your stammering with another kiss. He takes this one slow, moving your hands to where he wants you to touch him – one at his nape, the other at the small of his back, right over that spot that makes his knees weak.

This time, you respond. Slowly, hesitantly, but as you grow more confident, your hands begin to stray. You worm your fingers up the back of his shirt and dig your nails into the sensitive skin there, making him gasp in pleasure. Then you dig your fingers into his long hair and tug lightly, earning a low growl from him. You freeze and stare up at him with wide eyes until he leans back in.

Fortunately, your big smart science brain learns his likes and dislikes very quickly. When he finally pulls away, he finds that he really likes what he sees – your shirt’s rumpled, your hair is sticking up, and your lips are red and swollen from his kisses. Then and there, he makes a vow to make sure you always look like a mess.

(Spoiler alert: quite a few more of your firsts happen right here in the cockpit.)