#my family didnt give a shit and they still don't

[personal-venting-blog]

Oh great it's the one year anniversary of the incident that my family forgot but I sure as hell did not. Fucking fantastic.

[mieczyhale]

"Never apologize for putting stupid in its place."

- t.

[xxlelaxx]

I'm so over people making their problems someone else's problem. Listen buddy, you got issues, you take care of it. Don't make everyone else around you do it. Figure it out cause everyone else has to do that too <3

[binniesbooks]

hi my fayebae~ since u said u loved the car clip of soobin, here’s one for u to write ur heart away!! (U can of course choose whether u wanna do it or not no pressure!! Im just sending since its at the top of my mind rn, ahh n im sorry for so many request i usually dont send anyt in but🥹i didnt think it would be this fun to see my request coming to life uk but i digress)

idk whether u would like this but:

bf!soobin x gf!brat!reader

they got into an argument and stuff but soobin who still loves his gf comes n picks her up after (cheerleading?prac of some sorts)

Otw home… reader gives the cold shoulder to soob, not talking thru out the entire journey? So soob decides to take a detour n drives to somewhere that doesnt have many ppl looking in the night.

They start talking n tried to resolve whatever their fighting abt, one thing led to another, well reader is giving him a bj!!(the rest of the smut is up to u!!)

inspired by that soob clip of course~ have fun love💗

REVVED UP EMOTIONS

SB 000 .F23 2024

wc 3.7k

pairings bf!Soobin x bratgf!reader

warnings oral sex, semi-public, unprotected sex, slight brat taming, being almost caught, pet names (+ anything that I missed)

faye's note this clip was on my mind 24/7. And after receiving it I got excited making this one out but I'm not sure if it turned out good because my mind was kinda occupied with thesis shit. Omfg. Anyways, I hope it isn't dry tho 😔

Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, be it familial, platonic, or romantic. Arguments can arise from misunderstandings, unmet expectations, or simply the simple things from daily life. Recently, you found yourself in a heated disagreement with Soobin, your boyfriend.

The sun hung low one afternoon, casting golden lights through the window. You were sprawled on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone. Soobin on the other hand, who had just come home from a busy day at university, was busy, again, in the kitchen, occasional noises of clicks and clangs of utensils on pots and pans plus the opening and closing of the faucet can be heard.

You overheard him murmur "Yeah, dinner for two," as he clicked his tongue. You felt a strange pang of irritation swell within you. It wasn't about him or the meal he was preparing, it was you. You actually promised him you would help out, maybe even cook together, but here you were, scrolling on your phone.

You stood up as you trudged to the kitchen, arms crossed as you leaned on the sink. "You didn't have to do all this," you stood feigning nonchalance as you bit your cheek to not show the guilt you were feeling. "You could have asked me for help."

"Oh?" He looked at you with disappointment, "I thought you were busy checking social media," his blunt reply and harsh tone made your ears hot out of irritation. "I didn't want to interrupt your 'important' scrolling."

The sarcasm was too emphasized and it stung more than you expected. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Your eyebrows furrowed as you met with his gaze. "Nothing! I just thought maybe you'd care enough to have some initiative or something. We both agreed to share the chores. I was tired the whole day only to come back home without even eating a single thing." His voice raised with frustration as he threw down the spatula.

"I was going to help!" Your voice was quite high as you tried to cover how you abandoned your promise. "Oh yeah? I was out all day to finish my projects. And there you were scrolling through your phone." He said as he crumpled the apron he was wearing and threw it also on the table.

"You know what, Soobin? Maybe I don't always want to help! Maybe I want a day off too!" You felt the tension suffocating the air around you. Your heart raced but you're too afraid you're wrong.

"That's fucking selfish!" His voice rose, echoing in the confines of the kitchen. "You can't just say you want a break when we agreed to support each other!" He even added. "Fine! I guess we don't need any support then!" You turned on your heel as if fleeing away would help erase the hurtful things that had been said.

"Hey, y/n! Where are you going!" He called but you did not even take a glance. He called you multiple times but his voice just faded out as you were stomping your way to the bedroom.

That night, you didn't come out for dinner. Your mind was in a whirlwind of regret and stubborn pride. Soobin had a point, you were just lazing around that time, however, you don't want to accept that it was your fault. That same night, he didn't come into the room. Your shared bed feels so empty, but you can't just bring yourself to ask for an apology.

Later that morning, you tiptoed your way out. Still too early that your boyfriend was still sleeping, uncomfortably by the way, on the couch. You just grabbed bread and water and went out.

You two always ride his car to go to school. But this time you were determined not to ask for a simple apology and went out by yourself instead. And yes, you were planning to walk to school for your practice. However, some guy passed by and let you ride their car. Since you know the one who offered you a ride, you accepted the offer. It was Kai anyway, aside from being in Soobin's circle of friends, he was part of your cheerleading team.

"Why are you walking so early in the morning? Where's Soobin?" He asked out of curiosity.

"I don't know, maybe somewhere." You answered as you rolled your eyes, still being stubborn. "Are you two fighting?" Kai chuckled as he watched your actions while the traffic light was still red.

"We broke up." You nonchalantly remarked. Well, that was supposed to be a joke, and you never thought that Kai would actually believe those words.

"Woah shit! You what?" He was really startled at what you said as he covered his mouth while keeping the other on the wheel. You just laughed at him as you took the last bite of the bread.

Your whole Saturday went on like the usual cheerleading practice days. But since your mind is still in a whirlwind of pride, you couldn't focus. Causing you to crash multiple times while practicing. You were even scolded by your coach and instructors telling you that you looked like your mind flying or some sort. You just rolled your eyes at them whenever they turn their backs to you.

For that reason, you got hurt, earning yourself a few scratches here and there. You didn't even bother at all. Kai on the other hand, took the chance to treat your scratches. You're still not aware that he actually took your words this morning to heart and mind.

"It's just a scratch, Kai. No need to create a big fuss." You chuckled as he handed you a few bandages.

"Still, scratches can cause infection." He defended himself.

"Fine fine, you win." You sighed in defeat.

You two shared each other's company during lunch that day. You could even tell that many eyes are watching you -- no, most probably judging you at this point. Nonetheless, you just shrugged it off and enjoyed Kai's company instead. Not knowing that this could fuel some bigger fire. Fire that Kai holds, and fire that your boyfriend holds.

Since Soobin was not on the campus that day, he just stayed at home. He can't even contact you since you purposely left your phone. He was just cleaning all day. Just decluttering everything at home. He knows you're practicing today anyway. The only difference is that he usually accompanies you to school and waits for you until practice is done and brings you home, but now, he's just at home busying himself with the chores. He just planned to fetch you later this afternoon and treat you to some restaurant to make it up to you since he feels sorry about raising his voice at you.

"Let's wrap up here today." Your coach shouts as he reminds the assigned cleaners to clean the gymnasium before going home.

"Ugh! Cleaning this whole gymnasium sucks!" You complained, picking up the materials your team has used.

"Anyway, why are you still here? You're not on the list to clean today, right?" You were pertaining to the young boy tailing you. He smiled as he scratched the back of his head, "I want to offer you a ride home." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Don't you have like, any other things to do?" You asked, counting the pompoms before storing them in the box.

"Don't have any." Kai shook his hand as he took the box from your hand and headed to the facility room.

As soon as you and the other were done cleaning, you immediately headed out, Kai insisted on carrying your cheerleading bag. Once again, eyes were gawking at the two of you. You can hear a few of them mumbling but you still ignored it.

Kai opened his car door to let you in. But before you could even step foot inside, someone spoke which made you stop in your tracks. "Where are you headed to?" You turn around to see Soobin as he brings his window down.

"O-oh Soobin hyung." Soobin nods at the younger boy to notice his existence, his elbow hanging at the open window.

You quickly retreat as you grab your bag from Kai. "I-i thought..." Kai stammered as he looked at you. "I was just messing with you Kai, it's not real." You sighed. "What did she say?" Soobin interrupted as he turned to you. You're just a millisecond late to cover Kai's mouth as the words slip out. "She said that you two broke up." Soobin snapped his head towards the younger, a smirk forming on his lips. "Did she?" Kai just nods, still clueless. "Get in," Soobin commanded over you. "I'll take her home, be safe, Kai," Soobin says as he closes the window, whistling.

The whole drive is deafening in silence. You can't hear anything except the faint music playing on the car radio.

"Wow, did we actually break up?" Soobin states with unbelief as he taps his fingers on the wheels.

You were still saying nothing. "Y/n, seriously, are you still mad at me? You didn't even eat last night." He sighed as he continuously threw you glances. Both of your hands were properly curled up in a ball above your thighs clutching your short skirt as you stared outside the window. Looking at whatever unpleasant view outside that seems interesting to you.

The once bright clouds turned darker. "Is it gonna rain? I thought I checked the weather news before I went out." Soobin whispers, changing the stations to listen to the news.

The raindrops started to fall on the car window, drizzling softly as it made the glass cold. "Grab my jacket in the backseat." Soobin talks to you again, but you're not even giving him a single glance.

Soobin messages his temple, "I wanted to take you to a restaurant tonight to make it up to you, but it looks like it's pouring really hard. I'm sorry y/n, just please talk to me." He's totally losing his patience at this point as if he's gonna burst again but tried his very best not to go over the top. He regretted raising his voice yesterday so much.

The once-familiar view of the road becomes foreign to your eyes. You turned to Soobin, looking at his unusual demeanor. If he'd been talking so much earlier, his lips were totally shut now. You wanted to speak and ask him where he was bringing you or what was wrong but you stopped yourself. Whatever will be, will be, you thought to yourself.

The rain started pouring harder, and the once busy road you were on looked empty now. Thunder clasps from far away making a rumbling sound. You try to rub your shoulder to create friction to keep your body warm. You're starting to feel cold and Soobin hasn't thrown you a glance nor commented anything at you.

He suddenly pulled up on the roadside, and the light from the lamp post dimly flickered inside the car.

"Not gonna lie, I felt like a dumb ass talking to a wall earlier." His eyes met yours for a while before you averted your gaze. He grabs his jacket and hands it to you, "Wear this, you must be cold. I just realized, your skirt is too short, and your tank top is too thin, at that." He eyes you up and down as you wear his jacket.

"This is fucking crazy." He mumbled as he pulled his hair.

"Y/n, baby, look, I'm really sorry for raising my voice at you, hm? I was just really tired last night." He gently placed his hand above yours on your thighs.

Your eyes were following a few cars passing by as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. You felt Soobin hold your face gently. "Baby, please look at me. I'm not used to this. You know me." Soobin's eyes were practically begging. He couldn't stand you giving him the cold shoulder.

The truth is you were just afraid. You're afraid to admit you had acted selfishly. Afraid of facing him after a petty argument over something so trivial.

"I just want you to talk to me," he caresses your cheeks, words so gentle and comforting, "I can't fix this if you won't talk to me."

Soobin pulls you in for a hug, warming up your heart. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, surrendering to him and putting down your stubborn pride. You mumbled a soft sorry as he gently rubbed your back. You let your arms move freely, as you return the hug to Soobin.

"Please don't do this again to me." He kissed your forehead. "I'm sorry for raising my voice, baby. I'm sorry for making you feel upset at me." Soobin's probably the sweetest guy you could ever ask for. He can make you feel loved and appreciated, but of course, you're just stubborn and bratty at times, which makes him wanna lose his temper.

Soobin pulls away, showering your face with a hundreds of kisses. You can't help but giggle at his actions."I didn't mean to shut you out." You mumbled with a pout. "You don't look sincere." Soobin commented which made you pout more. He chuckled as he pulled you in for a kiss.

The kiss felt soft and gentle. That's why you had no idea, why he was shoving his tongue inside your mouth. He bit your lip with a little harshness making you push him away. "Oww! What was that!" You complained. Soobin simply smirked at you. "I'm asking for an apology and forgiving you for one, but not the other issue." His smirk turns to a frown. "Soobin I can explain that..." Your heart began to race, thumping so hard you could feel it in your throat.

"Why don't we use that pretty little mouth of yours on something else good, yeah? Instead of giving people an opening to pounce on you." His eyes scream anger and lust at the same time.

"What do you mean?" You asked clueless. "What do I mean? You really want to hear the exact words?" Soobin taunted. "I don't get what you are saying." You shook your head. "I'm telling you that you just made an opening to let Kai pounce on you. Are you that dense, that you don't even know he likes you?" You were shocked at what Soobin just revealed to you. You opened your mouth to answer only for him to cut you off.

"Or don't tell me you wanted it all along?" He scoffs. "Soobin don't talk like that --" "Don't talk like what, doll? Aren't you the one who told him we're over?"

That's it, those words pushed you over the edge, switching your bratty side once more. "Okay, so what? What if I wanted it all along?" Your voice raised once more. "Kai is a good guy, plus he knows how to take care of someone he likes." You pushed Soobin's chest away from you. Soobin scoffed again, brushing his tongue inside his cheek.

"And I can tell --"

"Backseat. Or else --"

"Or else what? Huh? Are you gonna order me around again? Raise your voice over me again?" You taunt.

"I said backseat, you brat." He fixed his gaze on you and held your wrist.

His words are firm and strong which makes the hair on your neck stand up. He unbuckled his seatbelt and shifted the gear to park, leaving the car idle and the headlights on. You have no choice. You crawled your way to the backseat. you squeezed yourself to fit and pass by the center console. Soobin followed quickly, making his way through the front and back doors. As soon as he settled in the backseat, he ruffled his hair to whisk away some water from the rain.

Your eyes waver as you avert your gaze from him. His hand squeezed both your cheeks, "My patience is running low from your actions, doll. You're making it worse."

Soobin pulled you on his lap. You were almost covering him with how big his jacket you were wearing. His surname is written in big fonts.

He hiked up your skirt only to find out you had nothing underneath other than thin panties. Soobin scoffs, "Don't tell me you were gonna ride Kai's car with just this?" You bit your lip as you placed your hands on his shoulder when he started to rub you with your panties still on.

Soobin clearly knows how to make your knees weak. With just a simple touch and you're back to square one from being a brat. He pulled your panties off slowly without breaking the eye contact. His brows are still furrowed and you can still feel his anger.

"Let's see if you'd still want to ride his car after getting out of mine." He clicked his tongue and licked his finger, pushing two at the same time. Your mouth hung open as you squirm. "S-soob..." You can't talk straight, no, you don't wanna talk actually, but he has his ways to make you open your mouth. "How is it? Still wanna ride his car?" A sly smirk tugging on his lips. In which you replied with just a shake of your head.

"I'm close..." You whispered, biting your lips, watching how his fingers disappears and appears in your cunt. You shudder with the sensation, your high coming to you. But Soobin pulled his fingers out. You whined, hiding your face on his neck as you grind yourself above him.

Soobin's too focused on making you say the word sorry for the said issue. He did not even expect you'll act bratty once again after just apologizing for what happened yesterday.

He gripped your waist. "Stop moving or you'll not gonna cum for 1 week." Hearing this, you whine once more. You can't stand that punishment at least. But instead of getting the words out of your mouth, Soobin wasn't prepared for your action of apology.

You unzip his pants and slowly stroke him. Your face is still hidden in the crook of his neck. Planting soft kisses on his shoulder blade to his neck.

"Doll." His voice is warning yet you didn't budge, with only a small "please let me" coming out of your mouth.

His hand rubbed your back up and down, slipping them inside your top. Your skin is burning to his palm.

"What's with you, huh?" He asked, but he clearly knows you'd rather act like his little slut than let the five-letter word out of your pretty mouth.

You pulled back, squeezing your body once again on the small space between his legs. "Fuck-- just stop giving him signs -- ohh shit!" Soobin clearly shows his frustration at how he grips on the door. You gave him a few kitten licks and swirled your tongue on the tip of his cock making him jolt.

He looks down at you, meeting your eyes, "Fuck, is the word too much for you to say?" You took him whole the moment he spit those words making him thrust up a bit and lean back his head on the headrest.

"Ahh!" His breathy moans filled the car, making the glass foggy despite the rain and cold atmosphere outside. His hands tangled in your hair as you bobbed your head slowly.

You whimpered at how his cock pulsated on your tongue and how his tip kissed your throat. He gently caresses your cheeks as he holds them. You automatically leaned on his hand as you let him fuck your mouth.

His eyes were tightly closed. Lower lip trapped between his teeth. One hand on your cheek to hold you and the other firmly gripping the door to keep himself grounded.

"Baby fuck!" With one last thrust, he's cumming in your mouth. Draining himself on your wet and hot lips.

His heavy pants were the only thing that could be heard inside the car. Not until you hear a knock on the window. You quickly scrambled up your way to the seat as you sat properly, Soobin shoving his shirt down to cover his exposed length.

He opened the window slowly. "Is everything fine? You're hazard is switched on." A police officer said with an umbrella in hand, roaming his eyes inside the car. He even added that he was just passing by and noticed the car had switched on the hazard.

"I'm sure I didn't put the car on hazard though., must be when I got out.." Soobin mumbles, "But everything is fine, we just need to talk something out."

"Take care then, it's pouring hard." The officer apologized before going back to his car.

You looked at Soobin, fear evident on your face. You were doing things in a semi-public place but here you are, totally scared of getting caught. Soobin chuckled at you.

"Can you turn off the hazard light?" He appealed. You propped yourself on top of the center console to reach for the hazard button. But seems like some other button is getting pressed instead, as your hands retreat back to cover your mouth.

Soobin's tongue is licking your exposed cunt. Eating you out while you're still on the center console.

"S-soob, wait.." you tried your best to appeal to him but he did not budge. He continued shoving his tongue inside you. He then gently pulled you back to his lap, slowly sinking you down on his cock.

One of his hands lightly squeezes your neck, the other one pulling one of your hands back. He stopped you from covering your mouth as he continuously thrusts upward.

"Tight.. so tight..." He mumbles at your nape. "Pussy so good for me."

"M-more please." You quietly pleaded as you tried moving your hips. "Someone's eager to be filled." He commented back. "W-wanna be full of you, Soobin." You're feeling lightheaded at how he's squeezing your neck. He can't help but leave hickeys on your shoulder as he thrusts harder.

"I'm gonna get you pregnant at this point," he huffed. "D-don't care, w-want you," your words are slurred as you lean back on his chest.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" No other words just curses, was coming out of his mouth as he felt his cum being released.

You were totally breathless, your body slumped on him, his cock still twitching and pulsating inside your cunt. Soobin is totally worn out, dipping his head down on your shoulder.

"Let's stay like this for five minutes then we'll go home." He mumbled.

@binniesbooks 2024

[tumblerlove]

I really needed Simon with an unknown breeding kink and definitely a daddy kink 🫠😌

Simon never really gave much thought about having children one day. He didn't think he'd get an opportunity to meet someone and love them enough to have children with them. He didn't know if he would even make a good father really...until you of course

You guys had been dating for quite a while before getting engaged a few months ago. You couldn't be more excited to get married to Simon, and neither could he to you. He was excited to get to call you his wife. He even wore an engagement band, too. Letting everyone know that he was proudly taken...

Today, you and Simon were at a family gathering with your family. Simon liked your family a lot. They accepted him with open arms and never made him feel uncomfortable. He had been watching you from afar while sipping his beer sitting next to one of your cousins who was sharing a story

He watched you play with one of your little nieces and nephews. Simon was watching you make them smile and laugh. He had a tiny smirk on his face thinking about how your children would be loved like that and more. He watched you pick up your niece, put her on your hip, and she rested her head on your shoulder, latching on to you, and Simon couldn't help but look at you in wonder. He knew that you would be an excellent mother. He'd never thought about this before... but he can't help but wonder what you would look with a bump on you....from his doing.

Shit... you'd look good is what you'd look like. He's imagining you walking around wearing his shirts because yours aren't fitting anymore. He's imagining how your tits would look all big from growing. How everyone would know he did that to you and your carrying your twos child.... and how everyone would know how you came about said child

After coming back from the gathering, you went to get ready for bed in the bathroom while Simon changed. You changed into panties for the night along with one of Simon's big t shirts. His thoughts came running back from earlier seeing you in his shirt. All your missing is a swollen belly...shit

"Love, do you want children or want to start having them?" Simon's blurts out as you crawl next to him into bed. You looked at him a little shocked just from how random the timing was. "I mean, I would love to have kids with you Si, um I didn't really give much thought when to have children really I don't think it matters too much to me" you say to him still looking at him with curiosity. "Why's this coming up right now, Si?" You ask him as you reach across to brush his hair off his forehead. He gently grabs your wrist, pulling you closer to him, grabbing a hold of your waist and hauling you on his lap

"Because I uh saw you earlier with your nieces and nephews and couldn't help but think... " he pauses, not sure what your answer will be. "How good you would look carrying my- our child" You look at him for a second and think about what it would be like having Simon's child and raising them with you and Simon's looks and personality...

It made you happy to think about it. "I wouldn't mind carrying your child. Raising them with you sounds wonderful," you tell him as he leans across to kiss you softly. "You think I'd make a good father?" He asks with worry on his face he didnt wannna be like his father and you knew that..."Yes, of course Simon all kids like you... you would do so well being a father an amasjng one," you tell him with a kiss

He looks at you, and he knows what's he's gonna say now. "Can I make that happen now... I wanna start now," he says with big eyes, looking at you

You think for a second and think to tease him for just a second before you say yes to start now. "Well, what if someone says something at the wedding if I get pregnant beforehand?" You say faking worry. "I don't give a fuck if your pregnant at the wedding let someone say something...I'll handle it" he says starting to plant kisses to your neck

You tell him, "I won't take my birth control tonight." You look at him with a smile. The second, the words leave your lips, he flips you both over. Having you lay on the bed on your back, him hovering above. "I'm gonna fuck my cum into you every chance I get love until it sticks" Simon says while pulling his shirt off while you take your top off too. "No I'm fucking you with it on...it looks good" he says. He removed your panties pushing your shirt up over your stomach to reveal your already soft tummy that he's gonna fill up, and that cunt...my god he's gotta touch you

Simon starts rubbing his massive hand up and down your slit. He separates your slit seeing your hole dripping down and your clit was twitching aching to be touched. He massages your hole gathering your wetness to use over your clit. "Mmm Si that feels good" you whine to him holding onto the sheets while he keeps playing with your clit. He's massaging your clit so good and firm it's sending such pleasure through your body. "Ginna give you my fingers then my cock hun" he smiles at you as his other hand comes up teasing your hole. "Please Si please" you whine to him, trying to grab a hold onto anything, wanting more

He finally pushes his finger inside of you "Oh fuck" you groan his finger feels bigger then yours does and warm. You loved it so much. He starts pumping his finger inside of you, finding your g-spot, and then adding another finger. Hes doing this while still rubbing your clit. "Oh, I'm so close, Si," you claw at his biceps, holding on to him. He quickens his fingers on your clit adding to your pleasure even more. Your shaking as your cumming and your toes curling. "Fuck that's it...took my fingers so good...time for my cock" he says in your ear while planting kisses all over you

He spreads your legs farther apart, rubbing your thighs up and down. "I'm gonna fill you up and I don't care how long it takes us" he says while pumping his cock. You're whining just looking at his dick it always was a little stretch when he put it in but it felt so fucking good too. "Please fuck me...please...wanna make you a daddy for real" you whine starting to lose your mind a little wanting his cock inside you and his cum. He groans. "Oh shit your in for it now, love" hearing you say that to him, he loses it and plunges inside of you. Both of you grunting out and your cunt clenching down onto Simon. "Your pussy feels so good" he's grunting out in between his thrusts. "Fuck Daddy keep going I-uhh" you try to say to him till he moves your legs up to ears putting you into a mating press. Simon's hovering above you basically humping his cock inside of you getting as close as possible to fuck his cum right in

He snakes his hand down to your clit while his mouth latches onto one of your nipples licking at it. Its all so much stimulation coming from everywhere you can barely get words out at how good Simon's fucking you. He's making sure that you feel good before him and you are. "I'm gonna, mmm." you can't speak his thrusts getting faster "Me too uh me too" he's grunting out his face shows he's losing all restraint getting ready to cum. His thrusts are getting sloppy while his fingers are spending up onto your clit. You both are cumming at the same time, your clenching and dripping around Simon's cock while he just keeps emptying himself inside of you ropes and ropes of cum hoping it sticks

He doesn't move for a while until he thinks his cum is really inside of you good. He slowly pulls his cock out while looking at your cunt and watches his cum flood out of you. "Mm can't have that" he says before pushing his fingers inside of you again to push his cum back in causing you to groan from being sensitive. "Gotta make sure it sticks, honey." he looks up at you with a smile...fuck it's gonna be a long night

[fairyrcts]

thinkin bout you, c.s.

by fairyrcts contents - angst, cursing, intended lowercase, use of y/n, 3rd person, mentions of depression

it was 2 am in new york and y/n was just getting home. her day was exhausting to say the least. the struggle of being a full time college student with a job and rent to pay in new york is something that was unimaginable.

she fiddled with her keys, eventually finding her apartment key. she unlocked her door to her roomate, aleah, sat on the couch watching some cheesy rom-com on her laptop. y/n dropped her bag and kicked off her shoes at the door.

y/n stopped in her tracks. "christopher sturniolo?" her voice was slightly shooken.

"hey hey." aleah waved.

"hey, girl. watcha watchin?" y/n's voice rang as she walked to the open kitchen, grabbing a cup and poaring ice water.

"27 dresses. literally never seen this dumb shit before but evangeline wants me to see it."

aleah was the definition of a stud. she was gorgeous, too. dark complexion, curly hair that hung in front of her face and piercings on her plump lips and nose.

evangeline was her girlfriend, who y/n's only met a few times. usually in the mornings after getting very little sleep from their noises filling the small apartment.

"man, that movie's so mid. did we get any mail?" y/n chuckled as she walked back in the living room, sitting in the opposing sofa.

"any mail?"

"uh, one from some credit card company and someone left a note in the crack of the door. said to y/n from chris sturnolo." she spoke, her eyes not leaving the computer.

christopher was her childhood bestfriend. they were in almost every class together since kindergarten. they were inseparable. they did sports together, went to prom together, went to get their drivers license together (guess who didn't pass). they were family, at this point.

after college, she never heard from him again. happy birthdays and merry christmases every year or likes on every post, but not a single text, call, email, anything. she talked to nick and matt regularly, but not chris.

she'd ask how he was and they'd give short, vague, one-word answers. it was unfair, really. because there wasn't another soul on earth that knew her better than chris did, and all that time was wasted.

it's been 3 years without a word. and just now he's contacting her. her mind rambled as to what might have gone wrong, otherwise, there wasn't a reason to speak to her. now, especially. she'd been such a mess after leaving for cornell, and she debated not going to stay with chris. but he convinced her, saying he'll stay in touch and talk to her every day.

so much for that promise.

"uh, yeah, chris sturniolo, sturnolo, stromboli, all the same to me." her roomate shook her out of her thoughts.

"aleah, where's the damn letter?" y/n's voice sounded scared almost, not understanding what's going on.

"over on the bookshelf." aleah pointed to the letter wrapped with a little bow and a stamp in the corner of the boston streets.

her hands hurried and undid the bow, ripping the envelope open and unfolding the letter.

Dear Y/n

There seriously isn't an explanation for my distance. After you left for college I fell into such a state of depression and I don't know why but I was scared to contact you. I mean, you're out doing great big things, NYU and detective criminal type stuff. Meanwhile, I'm still here in Massachusetts, I just moved out of my parents house a year and a half ago and my career is making videos on the internet. I guess it was the jealousy that stopped me from speaking to you or some kind of fear. But all I know is that I miss you, dearly. And I guess this is kind of me asking do you think about me still? Because I haven't stopped thinkin about you.

(p.s. i know i couldve sent this over text but i didnt know if you blocked me or not)

just his handwriting caused tears to stream down y/n's face. the note itself, the words and his explanation made her sob.

she made her way to her room, shutting the door behind her. she reached for her phone in her back pocket and called chris's contact.

it rang three times before he answered. there was silence on his end, soft sobs on hers.

"chris, where the hell are you and why did you answer so late?" she said through sniffles and cries.

"i'm uh, in syracuse right now. we're here with nate for his birthday. i asked matt for your address and uhm, i was waiting for you to call." chris's voice sounded nervous almost.

"so you're.. able to come see me?" she asked to which chris affirmed.

"give me the name of your hotel. i'm coming over." she spoke. her tone wasn't demanding, but chris knew it was a demand.

chris told her the name and room number, y/n writing down each letter. after he had explained the whole thing she hung up without warning. she walked out of her room, her movements were fast as she wiped tears off her cheeks.

"woah, what's up?" aleah asked, concerned.

"i'll tell you when i'm back." y/n brushed her off, grabbing her keys, leaving and shutting the door quite harshly.

she jogged down the stairs, her hand grazing the railings and the other jingling the keys with each step.

she pushed the door that so clearly said pull. the frustration just added to her unexplainable feelings.

"why the fuck won't this shit open!?" she shouted. the small, teenage boy at the front desk squeaked out a few words.

"it's uhm. it's pull. y-you're pushing it." y/n looked down at the sign.

"shut the fuck up, curtis!" she yelled once more, yanking the door and storming out of it.

"dumb ass name." y/n mumbled to herself. she walked hurriedly to her car, clicking the unlock button on her keeys and jumping in the drivers seat.

she turned it on, putting the ignition in reverse. she internally conflicted wether or not to put on music. of course, there was no need for it. buttt to make the whole event more dramatic, she turned on her playlist, thinkin bout you by frank ocean coming in through the speakers.

the music made tears swell up in her eyes. the whole situation was just fucked.

her car sped, running through red lights here and there, honking at any car that was slow or in front of her.

when she arrived at the hotel, she shut off her music and her car, locking it as she slammed the door of it behind her. she pulled the door to the entrance to the entrence of the large hotel, the door refusing to open.

"it's a push door!" the lady at the front desk yelled loud enough to be heard.

"oh, fuck me." y/n groaned, finally opening the door. she stormed inro the elevator, the front desk lady attempting to stop her by shouting 'miss'.

as if that was gonna stop her. y/n pressed the 4 button aggressively, multiple times.

"hurry the fuck up!" she was so out of it, she was yelling at an inanimate button.

when the door started opening, she squeezed herself through the space, looking at the numbers on each door until she found the 103 in a big font.

she knocked hard and loud continuously until the door opening interrupted her.

and now, she was faced with the man who made her, and broke her.

the two stared into one anothers eyes momentarily before y/n brought a hand up and smacked the side of his face.

a 'youch' came out of chris's mouth. he rubbed the side of his face that was now red while y/n began rambling.

"now, what the fuck is wrong with you! i mean, you know better! christopher, holy fuck, where do i even begin with you!?" her voice rang through the halls as she pushed herself into the room.

"i- i don't know." chris's tone was sorrowful, but that wasn't necessarily something she cared about right now.

"you are such a douchebag! i fucking can't believe you. ignoring my calls, texts, letters, everything! the only information i ever got about you was through 10 picture slideshows on instagram and your brothers, who werent much of a help! you can say whatever all you want, but chris, i was so mentally fucked up! i was so behind in my classes, that you know i put a humongous amount of effort into getting into, i was rude and emotional all the time and pushed away people i love and adore because i was so hung up on the thought that you stopped caring and you stopped loving me! you know how terrible of a feeling that is? to believe that the one person you love most in the world doesn't give two damn shits about what you're doing now? do you?!"

she yelled and yelled and yelled as her eyes didn't just shed tears, but boy, they poured.

"n-no, no i don't know how that feels." christopher mumbled as water welled up in his own eyes.

"yeah, and that's because you know i'm incapable of unloving you! you're aware of my love for you, because i reminded you every day. you know i wear my heart on my sleeve and you still pulled this dumb shit! i don't even know how you managed to do such thing! i was at such a terrible place, chris."

her words were less aggressive now as she cried tears of sadness rather than anger. she sat herself on one of the two hotel beds while chris sat beside her. he awkwardly pulled her into a hug, y/n leaning into it immediately.

her head laid in his lap as he rubbed her back, whispering small shushes every now and then while she kept bawling.

"y'know. i've been thinkin' bout you. i never stopped, really. i just- i don't even have an excuse. and you can keep yelling at me, and i'll keep listening, but i can't explain as to why i didn't. i just don't know, y/n." his voice was calm and gentle and his hands glided up and down her side.

once she finally stopped crying, she sat up and wiped her tears. "I'm sorry." chris stated, his eyes meaningful along with his voice.

that's all she wanted to hear.

he pulled her into an embrace once more, engulfing himself in the girl he missed so deeply.

"i was thinkin' bout you, too, y'know." she mumbled into his neck.

and that's all he wanted to hear.

[speakofthedebbie]

by popular demand (re: one person) some radioapple fic recs!! (i hope thats what you meant lol most of the fics i read are just radioapple)

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 3 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic

im not sure if its meant to be read as such but it kinda feels like a squeal to bedtime rituals in a way (edit: not meant to be read as such, just the same vibe)

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut and ive been trying to step back from that because "ive seen worse" isnt a valid excuse for that torture actually)

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i am foaming at the mouth till friday (depending on how this goes, that might be tomorrow or today)

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. also emily is there (fallen) tho we havent seen her in a sec. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6(?) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and minzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent of for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

cannot stress it enough but this is a WORKING list i WILL be coming back to it bc these are purely the fics i could think if off the top of my head. IN FACT, if any of you have radioapple fics you love, SEND THEM THE FUCK IN! i am one person whos only been in this fandom for 4 months, and reading fics/shipping radioapple even less, theres bound to be some ones i missed that you think are Worthy™️! and if theyre nsfw then at the very least it shouldnt be the main focus

EDIT: so sorry anyone who reblogged this before had to see the disgusting unedited version. literally just found out that tumblr doesnt apply edits to reblogs. what the fuck

[claymoresword]

The Queen And Her Knight | Chp: 1

Alicent Hightower x Knight Fem!Reader

Summary: Alicent Hightower against her better judgement, falls in love with her sworn protector. Can she bear to fight her feelings or will she finally just give in?

Pairing: Alicent Hightower x Reader

Wordcount: 980

Warnings: fluff, shit ton of angst, reader is irrecoverably in love with alicent

Note: i have no idea what this is or what its gonna turn out to be i literally wrote it bc of a daydream i had lmao

reader is a greyjoy to me i know ironborns typically don't become knights i just like that house lol and felt like it would give the story more structure/conflict but u can choose to ignore or change it if u disagree idk dude go crazy

also i know they didnt side with the greens during the dance but if u imagine reader went against her family for alicent it gets fun

(historical accuracy is not my strong suit forgive me i am just a gay person in love with alicent hightower)

anyway that's it hope u enjoy and let me know what u think!

The queen stood at the opposite end of the room her back faced you.

Silence with Alicent was always comfortable but right now it was agonizing, deafeaning. You needed it to end.

"Your Grace-" You croak.

A beat.

Still, the auburn haired woman said nothing.

"Alicent."

You made one last effort, pleading for her to acknowledge your presence in some way.

The queen finally turns to face you. She meets your gaze, tears evident in her eyes. Your own quickly welling up reflexively. It will always hurt you to see your love in pain.

You stare at her, studying her features and simply memorising every part of her face. The way her eyebrow creased. The dimple in her right cheek, always faintly visible even when she isn't smiling.

She swallows hard, you knew Alicent does this whenever she's upset. It's almost as if the wind gets knocked out of her anytime she lets her resolve slip.

A habit of the queen you had noticed only moments after meeting for the first time.

She finally steps towards you. Diffident expression.

A tear flows down your cheek, you don't intend to hide it from her.

Alicent stops just inches away from you. Dangerously close, you can feel her breath against your lips.

Standing firm, you resist the urge to crumble to the ground.

The queen reaches forward and places her hand against your cheek. You shut your eyes, shamelessly leaning into her touch immediately.

Pathetic. Desperate.

You don't care anymore.

Quickly, she eliminates any remaining distance between the two of you. Her lips meeting yours, she kisses you softly, cautiously. You kiss her back fervently.

A whimper threatens to leave your lips as she pulls away. Her own eyes now closed. She leans her forehead against yours and breathes you in deeply. Her touch remains on your cheek and you fear to speak , to move, to breathe.

You cannot bare for this moment to end.

"My protector." Alicent whispers, barely audible.

She wanted only you to hear.

You finally remember to breathe, chest heaving as you finally let air into your lungs.

The queen also takes in breath, almost mirroring you. Though hers more ragged, sharp.

Sudden.

Alicent steps back and removes her hand from your face.

Her hands return to their usual position, clasped over her abdomen.

She quickly banishes any intimacy between you and all contact.

Her resolve is restored, you morn.

"You will leave for the Iron Islands at first light." Alicent firmly states.

You don't hear her at first, not until she looks up at you waiting for a reaction, a response.

"What?" You finally conjured the capacity to reply and you sounded angry.

The queen remains staring at you. With her words she is asking you to leave but her eyes are telling you something entirely different.

"You're sending me away?" Your voice trembles.

Her grace had refused to acknowledge you the past few days and you thought you had done something to upset her.

You realise now its because she feels the same.

You didn't conjure any of it up in your mind. This was real and she feels the same.

She loves you too.

This was all too much, too painful.

"I can't have you here. My duty is to the realm. That is my purpose. It has proven near impossible for me to carry out that duty with you around."

Tears threaten to leave your eyes again but this time, you force them back in.

"My feelings for you, they consume me. I am plagued by them every waking hour. They ravage my thoughts and intentions. I have not known clarity since meeting you, y/n."

A searing pain in your chest. You visibly wince at the feeling but say nothing in response.

The queen is scared. She is afraid of her feelings for you. There may be nothing you can say in this moment to change that.

You decide to try anyway.

"Alicent." You repeat her name this time firmly.

You move towards her but still yourself quickly when you noticed she had taken a step back. Clearly asking for you to remain at a distance.

You take in another deep breath before speaking.

"Your Grace, it need not be this way. I beg you to not let fear win. These feelings you speak of, I am too burdened by them."

"We need not run from it, Alicent. Would it not work to our benefit to instead embrace it?"

Alicent's eyebrows furrow as she was truly considering your words and your gaze softens.

"I want to love you freely, if you would let me. I only wish for you to love me the same."

You decided to leap. It is up to the queen now to catch you.

Alicent winces, breaking eye contact she unclaps her hands, begins to fiddle with her cuticles before stopping herself and resuming her previous stance.

She meets your gaze once again, indignant expression. The queen almost looks dissapointed.

You have said too much.

She is not going to catch you.

"Freedom is not something I am entitled to." Alicent states, a coldness to her voice you were unfamiliar with.

The queen was good at depriving others of her true self.

You have never been on the receiving end before but now that you are, you utterly despise it.

"You will leave at first light." She repeats.

You feel as if someone had taken a hot dagger and directly pierced it through your heart.

You take a moment to compose yourself, to take in Alicent's beauty one last time.

"If that is what you believe is best, Your Grace."

You bow your head perhaps for the last time at the queen.

Turning around, you walk out of her chambers without uttering another word.

[thesummerstorms]

Still got the Annabeth BatFam thing stuck in my head. Mutuals blacklist "Annabeth Wayne" if you like, but here else can I be silly if not Tumblr?

Anyway. Most fics have this version of Annabeth running away shortly after Jason Todd dies. Dick Grayson may or may not have even made it back to Earth yet. Bruce is quite literally unraveling.

So Annabeth runs away. And she runs into Thalia and Luke. And like, right from the get go Luke, in his POV, is describing himself as the "father" and "older brother" combo of this "family". Like, as soon as he and Thalia acquire Annabeth he sorts himself into that role.

And don't get me wrong, I feel like Annabeth definitely bonded with Thalia. Because Thalia has been the primary caregiver for a little kid before (Jason Grace) and Annabeth is probably only a few months out from the death of Jason Todd.

But the thing is, Annabeth is extra primed to accept an older brother. She's had two at this point, both out of her reach, and in my head it makes sense if she found them much easier to connect to that famously-bad-at-expressing-emotion Bruce Wayne. And Luke is perfectly big brother shaped and promising *he* won't leave her.

And it's only a few weeks until Thalia dies. Just like Jason Todd. It's just Annabeth and Luke left. Even when most of the campers leave for the school year, they don't have anywhere else to go. Years pass that way.

And then she's twelve. She's twelve, and Luke betrays them all to Kronos and tries to kill Percy. The only brother she has left runs away from her.

She's thirteen. Luke poisons Thalia's tree.

She's still fourteen, by a handful of months, he begs for her to save him, and he traps her beneath the sky.

She's turning fifteen and she watches him be consumed. The thing that wakes in his body is their greatest enemy.

And this whole time, Annabeth desperately wants him back, despite everything. Because when one brother left and the other died, he was supposed to be the one who stayed. The one who loves her.

(and he does, still. She isn't wrong about that. In little, flinching moments, he still loves her. Just not enough to stop him using her.)

But no one is left to listen to her. Her only friends are angry with her when she tries to explain it. They get mad that she would give him grace after everything he's done. They don't and can't see past their hurt, the lives he's destroyed, to understand why Annabeth clings the way she does.

(If she's selfish to wish they could, so be it. She's alone no matter what.

She's only just turned sixteen when he does. He dies to save the world. He dies by suicide, as a result of his choices. He dies on her blade. He kills himself because she made him promise.

Less than a year passed before she's thrown to war again, desperate to find Percy, then to avert Gaia, to escape Tartarus without going insane.

No one really talks about Luke at camp, even when she startles sometimes seeing Jason Grace's scar from the corner of her eye.

And somehow, after all of this, she ends up back in Gotham face to face with the first brother who left her behind and the first brother who died.

None of it is Dick Grayson or Jason Todd's fault. They were just kids, and they didnt actually betray her, unlike Luke. But the lesson is burned deep into her nightmares and insecurities.

You can't tell me that's not a shit show of a reunion.

Yes, she still loves them. But what does that matter, when she loved Luke to the end too?

[fieldsofbats]

simon riley x waitstaff!reader

thank you to those who liked my first post <3 i am still v new to this and haven't quite figured out my preferred writing style so all feedback is welcome (be respectful tho).

part one

part two

right so at ur work it’s real common to have military folk there bc it is a military town, close to base, training facilities etc. 

first visit was just to the bar section of the place. price thought it would be good for moral to go out and have some chill team time, watch a football match and just hang out.

soap ordered some food and you brought it over to them. simon did not notice you bc he was watching the game, but then he got a whiff of soaps food and decided to grab something.

cue you coming back over with your sweet smile and handing him his food and cutlery before wandering back to the resturant bc its a quiet night.

mans is hooked.

second time ghost comes in it’s at night again but the restaurant is slammed bc it’s family week, everyone is getting dinner the night before they gotta head home. 

lbr, simon didnt think about you until soap wanted to go out again: "where are we goin'" "that place with the pretty server", knows exactly where they are going.

but still, your smile and warmth towards everyone is so kind and customer service is through the roof. yet he watches as you race around in and out of the kitchen with crazy ease and grace

like dude is impressed at you staying calm and steady despite how fuckin busy it is and people with their insane requests and demands for food (inpatient pricks)

he wants to stick around and watch u but it has become way to loud and busy for him so he bows out and goes back to his quiet room

simon strikes me as someone that likes to have as much regularity in his life as possible, why do you think 141 are literally the only people he has relationships with???

but mainly forms this routine bc he gets to see you, and he knows you will be there bc you’ve old him its your regular shift.

"you basically live here."

"haha no, i just make sure i get the shift with you."

the restaurant would make the booking for him in advance cause he never does but you know he is coming anyway so have it under ‘y/n's man’ (hasn’t told you his name) and ur coworkers think its super cute and funny

but he would make the effort to come in when it is quiet and has the chance to actually listen to you talk and see you interact with others on a more relaxed level BUT he wouldn’t be opposed to seeing you rushing around tables and weaving between guests who haven’t sat down

ngl he would find it hot watching you manage several orders and memorising different peoples requirements, all while keeping that sweet smile and polite manner

you can carry three plates?! this man is sweating under the mask

he doesn’t do a lot of the talking, only when you really prompt him or he is feeling a bit more extroverted that day. Doesn’t wanna talk about military shit with you but that’s all he does so he prefers to listen to you.

knows all the drama and gossip of the restaurant. glad to hear you are not dating the guy behind the bar and that you also don't like the receptionist because he perfume is to strong.

he will hang around and wait for it to die down to be able to talk to you. if it gets too loud for him he might just try and see you at the till as he leaves but has pushed through once or twice to talk to you.

something about you makes him feel more real, that he isn’t just some shell of a man, that he has a purpose. he likes that you treat him normally, the fresh slate you give him is like clean evening air.

ANYWAY it would take him ages to ask you out, like more than six/ seven months, and he would be so nervous (not to the point of stuttering or shaking bc this man is military he has been in worse situations, but his heart would be running a marathon and the self doubt would be just as loud)

but also protective ghost omgggg, he would be seething watching the old men be creepy and shit

knife and fork are down and he is up behind these men leering over them “excuse me, I just have a question about my meal.” just would say anything to get you out of that situation and back over to him. Or would just stand by the register staring down these men (this happens a lot more often than simon would like to admit)

always checks in when he is leaving to make sure he didn’t over step or make you uncomfortable by accident

[kindnessisweakness2]

Coco Request from @your-space-brain!! I hope you liked where I went with it and again sorry the wait, I'm so critical of my own work it takes me ages to build up the courage to post🤦‍♀️

(NOT MY GIF!!)

Growing up being Bishops daughter wasn't easy. Most girls loved the thought of it, being so close to the MC. But Bailey Losa hated it. Don't get her wrong she loved the club, it was like one big extended family. But things that were simple to other girls, were never easy for Bailey. While all her friends snuck out to house parties and to meet boys, Bailey Losa stayed well within the protection and watchful eye of her father and his henchmen. If her father had his way she would be walking around covered from her neck to her ankles, never in sight of a horny teenage boy. Almost 20 years old and she still has to keep her door open if she had friends over. But you know what they say about strict parents? They create sneaky rebellious kids.

Coco watched as Bailey made her way around the club house collecting the empty bottles. The Friday night party was starting to get busy as it hit 10pm with More and more people starting to arrive. He couldn't deny she was beautiful. Her long hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, her blue denim shorts hugging her hips and her smile. Her smile was the best thing about her. It'd been a week since he kissed her. 1 fucking week and she had consumed his mind. No one knew about their secret make out session in the small stock room behind the bar. She had been putting away a delivery, slamming the bottles in to place a little too hard after another argument with her father, when Coco walked in. He'd always had a thing for her and up until that day was able to pay careful attention to the OFF LIMITS sign above her pretty head, placed there by her hot head of a father. Coco would be lying if he said he regretted giving into the intrusive thought of pushing her against the shelves, hands twisting in her hair as he captured the soft lips of the Mayans Princess in his own. The mischevious glint in her brown eyes telling him she enjoyed it as much as he did. But that didn't mean he was oblivious to the looming shit storm he would be in the centre of if Bishop found out.

"Coco can you take Bailey home?" Bishops voice broke his thoughts and instantly he felt sick. Bailey groaned loudly from behind the bar. "Dad are you serious right now? It's barely 10.30." The look Bishop threw his daughter instantly told her not to argue. Anger was clear to see on her face as she threw the empty beer bottles on the bar top, not giving a shit if they smashed. Grabbing her bag she stormed past her father without a word. Coco sighed grabbing his keys ready to follow her outside, but Bishop called out to him. "Make sure she's safe brother, shes my world." Not being able to muster words Coco swallowed the lump in his dry throat and nodded. He made his way out towards his bike, a fuming but silent Bailey already having her helmet on.

The ride to the Losa Residence was completely silent. Pulling into the driveway, Coco cut the engine and hopped off his much loved Harley. Bailey raised her eyes at the tall Outlaw as he held his hand out for her. "Law breaking Gentleman, Huh?" She smirked as she let him help her off the Bike. She had liked Coco for a long time, but never in her wildest dreams would she ever have believed he would look at her twice. She knew how much shit he would get in if they got caught, but she would be lying if she didnt admit it made her excited. "Look i know you and your dad disagree on alot, but he cares y'know. Just cut him abit of slack yeah? Your his pride and joy." Coco tried to reason with her, but Bailey rolled her eyes. Standing on her tip toes, her lips brushed his as she looked into his eyes. "I dont want to talk about that. Lets go inside..." She kissed him softly, fingers linking with his. Coco let her lead him to the front door. Pushing her gently against the dark wood, his hands found her waist, lips leaving a trail down her neck. God she was like a drug. She pulled him in, made him feel euphoric. Every gasp that left her mouth was like music to his ears.

Realisation hit him hard when she broke away from him to unlock the door. Fuck what was he doing? He wanted her, there was no doubt in his mind about that. Not for the short term either. She could never be just a fling to him. Fuck no he could get easy pussy at Vicki's any time he wanted. But Bailey? She was all woman. The kind he could imagine siting up late at night talking shit with. Debating the stars, history and what they wanted from life. The kind that would make him want to be a better man. She was too good for him ofcourse, but damn he wanted her. "Wait." Bailey's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Coco resisted her trying to pull him inside. "Bailey, we...we cant." Hurt flashed instantly in her eyes, and it made him want to throw up. "Do you know how many rules I'm breaking by being here?" Coco pleaded with her. Tried to make her see how much shit this would cause for the both of them. But Bailey just smirked as she wrapped her arms around the worried Mayan.

"Rules? Im a grade A rule breaker baby.They are made to be broken. And havent you heard? Im the Princess, i get what i want. When i want. And right now i want you to take me inside and together we are going to break every rule in the goddamn book."

[sunny1616]

Deluded Pt. 1

Matteo Riddle x Reader

Summary: You and Matteo have a toxic yet addictive bond. Both of you know it and can't help but feed into it further. But what happens when the limit is found and crossed?

Warnings ⚠️: toxic relationship, swearing, arguing

"Sttawpp Matteeo.. i have to get to class..." Matteo, has you trapped in an outdoor alcove at the courtyard. His hands bracket your hips, and his head is nuzzled in the sweet spot between your neck and collar bone. At your request for him to stop his perusal of your neck, he responds with a giggle that tickles you under your jawline. "This is no joke! McGonagall will kill me if i show up late for the third time this month!!... MATTEO IM SERIOUS.." You then brace your forearms against his chest and push off.

"Comme onnn. That old witch won't notice. Know-it-all-Granger takes up all her attention in that class. I know you dont want to go, so why are you wasting this precious, precious time?.." At the last two words, his face is back on the same sensitive spot. And you wiggle again with less will to end it.

"Ughhh, at this rate, we both won't ever graduate. Don't you ever take anything at least a bit seriously?" This was partly a jest, but you also wanted to know if Matteo had the right priorities.

"Why do you have to ruin the mood? Who the fuck cares about school? Both our families are loaded anyway. You could work at any department at the Ministry even if you didnt pass Divination. Besides, no one goes to classes anyways. Blaise, Crab, Goyle, and Theo- even Pansy doesn't give a shit most of the time! BE MORE LIKE HER AND STOP KILLING MY BONER" He ends with an annoyed exasperation. You just gape at his complete disregard for school. Sure, you weren't a stellar student, but you gave at least 60% of an effort. Better than 0, duh?!

"I dont want to be like all those people!! If i want to do something worthwhile after grad, imma have to learn a thing or two to be of some use. My mommy and daddys money can't buy that STUPID!!" Eyes wide, you think about picking up your bag to leave, but before you can reach down, he's already hissing again.

"Holy fuck... your such a fucking tease right now. Fine. Go. I dont give a fuck. You're not irreplaceable, there are 20 other bitches that'll gladly take your place with me right now over some dumbass class." He then frenziedly takes out a cigarette and lights it. Not even looking at you.

After a pause and a breath, you finally say, "Wow. How fucking fragile are you? You cant even go a minute without having your dick wet can you? Its pathetic... Im sorry that i have other priorities than you, a raging manslut!! And since you have 20 other girls under me, i invite you to go to them because im sooo fucking done with your ass. They're all probably waiting oh so patiently too for me to let you go. Too bad for them to soon figure out what a DISAPPOINTING MESS YOU ARE."

"Haha yea right. Let's see how you like it when you can't have me. You're gonna wish you had chosen differently. While i on the other hand get to finally HAVE SOME FUCKING FUN. GO DRY YOUR PUSSY OUT WITH MCGONAGALL AND TRY NOT TO GET RUG BURN WHEN YOU CRAWL BACK TO ME." You're already halfway across the courtyard and dont even turn back when you scream:

"I HOPE YOU KNOW THE NUMBERS BETWEEN 0 AND 20 WHEN YOU COUNTDOWN YOU DUMB FUCKER!!"

You sort of speed stomp across the yard to reach the hallway. Then quickly go to the changing staircase to get onto the right set of stairs in order for you to arrive to class on time.

Now that the nerves of almost missing class have subsided, you are now fuming about everything else. How could he say all those things to you? Though you know Matteo and what he's capable of your delusional thoughts creep in to ask; did he truly mean all those things? He won't actually hook up with other girls, right? Deep down, you knew the answer but still refused to trust it. Matteo is more unlike his father than he is like his father. But in regards to keeping true to his threats, you could say it runs in the family.

Author note: i hope yall are angry at Matteo. Hehe. Part 2 coming soon!

[westrangecollectionkoalaposts]

Think about how fucked up the mating bond is, people get bonded to whoever tf the magic chooses for them considering only how much powerful you are and that your kids will be powerful as fuck, and if you don't like them or some shit happened between you two earlier, sorry but the chances of you ending up with said person in a toxic relationship are still high, look at how many toxic bonds we saw:

we have tamlin's family, his father and brothers were worse than the vanserras and his mom and father were mated, so it didn't matter how much shit his father was, the mom just accepted that.

feysand's bond, fucked up as fuck. after all rhysand put feyre through during UTM, we get to acomaf (and there is also that stupid ring quest, imagine if she died..) where he gives her a long ass sad background story and she just accepted it.... yet if she wasn't his mate she would be pretty much death in book 1, and oh wait, let's not forget the fact he hid life threatening information about her pregnancy, and like, she is still with him as if nothing had happened.

nessian bond! also fucked up, we have cassian watching nesta fall the stairs and be like "haha i watched bc if get to the end, i would have to take you back upstairs, also you fell bc you didnt train so it is all YOUR fault", cassian telling her everybody hates her, cassian doesn't understand how her sisters love her, cassian taking her to a hike bc she (25 years old) was the only one between all those 500+ years old bitches who had balls to tell feyre she was gonna die before christmas, makes her carry a bag that is a third of her weight (lets say she is 1,75m and weights 60kg, she was carrying around 20kg and according to a search in google, a hiking backpack shouldn't weight more than 10 percent of the person's weight, which in this case Nesta should be carrying 6kg and not more than that...) during this hike. He has sex with her after she gets sexual assaulted by a mythical creature, he gets butthurt when she says a fact about riceman, gets angry when she gets uncomfortabled about the fact he wants everyone to know they share bed (and he literaly says exactly that), like, he even says that he didn't choice to be shackled to her, that means he wouldn't choice her => he wouldn't be with her if there wasn't a bond. During acosf we see that he knows shit about her and he doesnt even like her but he stilld wants her exclusively bc of the bond and nesta is molded and treated like shit until submission so she can fit him and his family. Let's not forget that whatever thing nesta disagres, cassian get like "is that because i am a bastard low born nobody and my ass is flat?". Also from a logic point of view (considering the power thing and that the cauldron chooses who you are mated with and it blessed elain with gifts and got angry at nesta bc she took its power) wouldn't make more sense if nesta ended up with a high lord/high lord heir or azriel? nesta is powerful as fuck, powerful to the point rhysand, a pOWErfuLl high lord (take his telepathy away and he is in the same level as the other high lords) struggles to contain her power, she is in the same level of a high lord, and i know cassian had 7 siphons but it is azriel who has not only 7 siphons but is also a shadowsinger, they are poweful but not in the same level as a high lord/nesta yet azriel at least has a special power, so between them two azriel is more logical, and in a general point of view, a high lord/heir... (i repeat, this bond was a curse threw at nesta)

drakon and miryam, too fucked up, she was a slave, that was given to him as gift from his bride/wife/girlfriend whatever. she was a slave, and half human, and during this time humans were all slaves. and drakon, prince, faerie... she was with jurian then somehow she fell in love with drakon(?) i don't remember their story properly, but i am pretty sure that if there wasn't a mating bond, they would not have any relationship. I honestly find this one too weird/absurd that I even have a theory that drakon is daemanti and manipulated miryam to ''love'' him (pretty much like rhysand seems to be doing/did to feyre... maybe that is why drakon and rhysand were friends or something, drakon taught him the telepathy things)

vs non-toxic:

Lucien and Elain, they aren't together, elain doesn't want to get close to lucien and he respects it, lucien doesn't force himself into her, keeps his distance s he is aware she is not comfortable, he let her know they are bonded from the beginning as opposite to some people up there...

Kallias and viviane - we didn't see much about them but considering they were friends since young age, so we are supposed to assume they are good...

Honestly if i was faerie i would be afraid of having a mate.

[strawberrylightss]

Trying to have a conversation with my brother about antisemitism in the pro pali movement, and I feel coming up with nothing. Im feeling so lost and i feel like everything is just too much.

He said he got uncmfortable with the conversation, which i understandable in a way because it's a heavy topic, but it still feels so disingenuous. For instance, he talks to our grandmother who I KNOW is a raging antisemite (FROM East Germany. She is one of the main ways I became aware of what antisemitism looks like growing up), about israel/palestine.

He didnt even know what blood label or duel loyalty was until i explained what it was, and whenever I ask a question he goes quiet. When i say these things, and how i am geneuinly scared for my boyfriend's (Who is Jewish) safety, he goes quiet. I tell him it's important to check in on Jewish people around you and listen to them and he gives me a little "yeah." It feels like im having a conversation with a brick wall/ just talking to myself. I know when he disagrees because he goes quiet. he doesn't have a backbone and he doesn't debate on anything, and when he goes quiet I know that's when he disagrees but doesnt want to speak his mind. It's not like I WANT to argue with him / want to pick a fight of course but I feel completely ignored.

Part of the issue is that I had a really bad falling out with the majority of my family and he is basically all I have left. For him to not listen to me is just like the rest of them, although this problem isnt about me, it just adds to the hurt I already feel since I'm trying to talk about something extremely important to me, and I feel like I'm BEGGING him to hear me, it hurts.

He at least agrees Hamas should release the hostages? But I feel that's bottom line. I send him resources but I doubt he'd actually read any of it at this point and I'm at a complete loss. I've lost so much these past few years and I have this feeling again.

I don't even know what to do anymore. my boyfriend is sleeping right now but I know when I talk to him about this he will feel the same. I try so hard but he doesn't want to talk to me. He doesn't even tell me what our grandmother was saying either. Our parents are pro israel but he wont even tell me what they were saying. He tells me nothing ever. Months ago when he originally told me he talked to our grandmother he never told me what she said even when I asked him, and showed concern. I tried again and still nothing substantial, just saying "Yeah we agree its fucked up"

Like no. tell me what she's saying, please. I know it's all bad, I know her and I remember in detail the shit she has said about Jewish people in the past. I literally cant handle the thought of him going down an antisemetic pipeline and I feel he is already down the path and there is nothing I can do. It breaks my heart. Seriously. Why doesn't he care?

What the fuck is going on? I live across the country and he is my only way of knowing whats going on there, and he tells me nothing.

[httpiastri]

im the BIGGEST mclaren fan and oscar fan in the world ever and i dont even have the energy to celebrate oscar's first win (yes bc of the fucked up way mclaren did it but wtv not getting into that) bc of how devastated i am about paul. i just want to give him the biggest hug in the world and tell him its ok and that we all still love him. i hope he knows how much support he has and that making mistakes is ok, its only his rookie season no one expects him to be schumacher or senna or whoever, we just want you to be a happy paul aron :(

seeing him banging his head and looking out into the distance after the crash omfg i will jump off a cliff i swear. hes so hard on himself and i was legit sobbing thinking about how much harder he is on himself (probably) this year after what happened w merc and prema. he deserves so much more omg. the fact that kimi ended up winning the race just made me think of the lacy edits too and omfg i cannot. i love kimi dont get me wrong but what are the chances that paul's win became kimi's instead? i js cant.

and dont get me started on that fucking penalty. he already dnf'd i don't understand the point of them punishing him any further did u not see how mad he was at himself?? fuck you fia fuck. you. cz WHY WHAT WAS THE REASON??? i feel like ive never seen them do that to a driver, usually they cause a collision and dnf they just get time penalties but a TEN PLACE GRID PENALTY?? FOR THE NEXT RACE?? THIS LATE IN THE SEASON?? it just seems SO unfair and so harsh. not agreeing w the grid penalties at all esp when the driver alr suffered from their mistakes but the crash w maloney fine i can kind of understand, but ollie's? sorry but i didnt even see them crash that hard? (or was i half asleep? idk i js literally do not remember seeing it) seriously tho wtf.

i hope his friends, family and team gave him the biggest hug ever. he'll come back stronger ik it! we'll get thru this u guys:(

paul nation family group hug 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

-🧸

this is very valid :(( it wouldve been easier to celebrate if it had been better with the team and whatever, but now it was so easily overshadowed by everything that happened in f2 and i just 😶

to me, most of my pain is based on (just like u said) the fact that i think he's hard on himself, and wants to prove so much after everything that has happened. i just hope he sees the reality; that he's doing super well, in his rookie season nonetheless, and we're all so proud of him. mistakes is okay, shit happens, even max verstappen made a bunch of mistakes yesterday!!

i didnt wanna look at the clips of him in the car nor hear his radio (ive seen the screenshot of him admitting that it was his fault tho) and i saw the clip of him after getting out of the car and i just...... nope. and esp w kimi winning aaaa it made me so happy but-

god i dont understand the penalties like. yes he made a mistake but zane was also going very very slow (on the slower tyres also) so it was hard for him to tell what zane was going to do. like these things happen within even a fraction of a second and you need to trust your instinct and sometimes it doesn't work out? like obvs i cant compare it to any personal experiences in racing but in my own sport i know the feeling of getting a bad pass etc, and something tiny can mess up the entire timing and feeling and everything? so zane just going slower makes a lot of difference :// it's not common that they do this but ive seen it sometimes but this is just so.... gAH!! esp with the thing with ollie because they didn't even show it, so it can't have been THAT important, right?? so stupid

pls everyone gather around for a group hug! with paul in the middle bcs he deserves all of the love!!!!!!! <3<3<3

(oh and just so you know. "we just want you to be a happy paul aron :("........... you actually broke me with that one, i hope you're happy that im crying bcs of you 😭)

[speakofthedebbie]

you (read: i) asked so you shall recieve: radioapple fic recs august 2024 update!!

the following are the ones from the last post w/some minor changes (think: misspellings and even more osas praising) (sorry for the re-tags!!):

Bedtime Rituals to Try out Before the Next Angelic War by @miribalis

just yes. thousand times yes. so basically my boy luci has some sleep troubles and that somehow leads to a qpr with al look its been a while ok just read it

Managerial Liberties by the same fella

these two tags explain it pretty well

something that sticks out to me about this is that charlie is actually (reasonably) cold to adam and like. im actually surprised with how little ive seen that. i mean i dont think id be exactly buddy-buddy with my besties killer either. only 4 chaps as of writing but already looking to be a radioapple classic. has the same vibe as bedtime rituals, but it is NOT a sequel

devils don't fly (don't expect me not to fall) by @corgiss

also just yes. basically a really not cool joke evolves into a blossoming romance because why wouldnt it. (man if i had a nickel for every radioapple fic that had a masquerade that was sabotaged by the vees- *gets shot bc i cant mention osas yet*)

i’ll hold you close (i’ll stay the course) by the same fella

the entire time i was just going "yas king! put that egotistical flatscreen in his place!!". basically luci reminds the overlords who he is and vox shows he can be more of a threat than he lets on.

ykw fuck it just the entire series (i didnt mention i would give anything to not give a shit (but i do) and my perfect rock bottom (my beautiful trauma) because the first one sounded a lil too angsty and ive gotten enough of that from other sources [pointedly glares at Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love {also coming up later!}] and the second is (mostly) smut

Of Saints and Sinners by the forever amazing @morningstarwrites!! (if you see this i have a serious question: is this your first time ever writing a fic? because how do you get so much right the first time- [not even beginners luck could explain this level of skill])

if youre even half the radioapple fanatic i am and havent read this, literally what are you doing?? i could sing its praises until my death bed but ill hold off so i can explain whats happening. basically after burning down a meeting room several times, luci and al make a deal ("not a deal!", luci laments to the void): they will attempt to be civil and maybe even friendly, with some daily compliments sprinkled along the way, and by the end luci will owe al a favour. whats the favour? read it yourself dammit! seriously, 10/10, i foam at the mouth every friday

Quietly, It Slips Through Your Fingers, Love by Starlit_Rainfall (no tumblr in sight, so AO3) (i. urgfgh. what happened. i was just smiling over the fluff while crossing to go to school. where did it go. where did it gooooo)

if thats anything to go by, the last few chapters have been rough. the fluff feels so far away that i cant even explain what happens. luci was waxing poetic about swimming in maple syrup for al, i remember that much. lilith is particularly an asshole even tho we havent seen her yet (or maybe we have. idr, mightve chatted with al) also emily is there (fallen) and has a lil smth to do with als and liliths deal. if you read it, warning for the gut punch of angst that starts chap 32 "She/Her" (though the chapter before that, "Should Alastor Know By Now?" ends pretty rough too)

Freely We Serve by @romanaxe

i dont remember how i managed to stumble upon this but im having a great time. basically alastor is a new sinner fresh in hell (but time doesnt matter and the whole cast is still here) and thinks "what better way to gain power than be the personal assistant of the heartbroken king of hell!" features a 6-7 (rosies words) year old charlie and a morally dubious lilith (also i loved eepy al X3)

A Family Forged in Hellfire by Green_Ghostwriter (once again, no Tumblr, so AO3)

this ones a bit newer (10 chaps), is so far mostly exposition and the slowburn pot hasnt even been put on the stove, but as just a hazbin fic in general i see the potential. basically its a 1920s(30s?) au where heaven decides little charlie doesnt deserve to be raised in hell and is sent to earth with a "foster" family where her actions in life will determine witch realm she will return to after death. her "parents", al and mimzy, are given false memories so they can claim the girl as their own and gee i wasnt kidding when i said it was a lot of exposition. erm honestly explaining anymore would tech be spoiling so go read it!!

The Red Thread That Binds Us by @scun-gilli

{{future me prefacing this by saying i have no idea where i was going with yesterdays thought process, all you need to know from it was im on chapter 27. also scungilli your comment is making me very worried 😟 well theres no mcd tag so im sure itll fine, right? RIGHT, SCUNGILLI??}}

basically its a king x kings guard au where al and luci grow up together and only grow closer after a. certain life event for al (its fine guys trust :)) [she said, like a liar]) then al is sent off for royal guard training school (ik its not called that i forgor 😭) but dw he comes back. just watch out for graphic depictions of injuries (i think thats this fic) angst and a sneaky eve bc radioapple fics are allergic to happiness (or maybe im not looking hard enough lol) (also im really tempted to make the friendship bracelets they had 👀)

somewhere down the line by kj_crwm (AO3 link)

this one starts off as human!alastor/lucifer but by the middle(?) its just regular radioapple. basically al is encountered by luci while finishing off a job who agrees to keep quiet. luci just keeps on showing up, reveals hes the devil to which al us just like "lol ok" and eventually they get in a relationship (ooh lala 👀) but they break up after saying some hurtful things to each other (oh nono 👀) with luci promising al they will never cross paths again. if you watched the show then well. you know that doesnt happen 😂 most human!al radioapple have al summon him (no hate to them) so this was an interesting change of pace

new recs below!! ↓↓

Alastor and Lucifer do whatever the Hell this is (series) by Vagabond_Sloth (personally asked, no Tumblr, but they might make one 👀)

i know this is radioapple fic rec post but... *cough* Husk and Angel do a Romance for some soft huskerdust *cough* anyway- basically, a perplexing flower arrangement leads to a blossoming something between the resident radio demon and king of hell. seriously, its some good shit, and the author is really nice!

A Compliment A Day by @decembercamiecherries

spinning this around in my head at all times

basically, a classic "charlie makes al and luci compliment each other as a bonding excessive" but it does not disappoint (check out her other three radioapple fics too)

a lovely night (lalaland is that you??) and pancakes, small talk by @mirotic_chess (X Twitter account)

in a lovely night they do a lil dancey dancey and in pancakes, small talk luci makes some pancakes!!

Sin and Sentiment and Time On My Hands by demon_fawn (supposed Tumblr leads to a dead end)

oh my god future debs here and i am so fucking tired of doing these descriptions but. um. the plot for sin and sentiment def seems very interesting and time on my hands is an incomplete (but good!) attempt at radioapple week. hmm not sure if they still post bc the most recent update was july 12th

honestly just every radioapple fic by @otoshigo (i think ive read all but Forbidden Fruit of the Poisonous Tree)

if you look underneath the little island that is radioapple, on god otoshigo is one of the creators holding it up. all 19 (yes, 19. we eatin good tonight [excluding forbidden fruit]) of their radioapple fics are fantastic, buuut if i had to recommend anything specific: A Guide to the Care and Maintenance of the King of Hell (fuck count furfur!) and The Devil's Trip to the Big Apple

not to continue the trend, but basically anything by @thief-of-eggs (even the singular huskerdust) but personal recommendations: Trust and Hair Pets and Let Me Be Your Shelter (sickfics 🔛🔝)

idk if youll catch me doing the descriptions for these anymore shit was exhausting

tagging time!!!! (i want to end it all)