#my family my friends and my future

[bugcatcherkit]

Man that sure is a Situation where two 14 year olds push the limits of each other’s trauma responses until they both reach extreme breaking points. and then they deal with the aftermath basically all by themselves. Isn't that super awesome and totally not kinda fucked up at all.

[doublxpresso]

「To this pitiful me」

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beginning << page 13 - 14 < . > page 17 - 18

[kwillow]

boop him.

[satans-knitwear]

GUYYYYYYYS I MIGHT BE MEETING A LITTLE BABY PUPPY DOG TOMORROW.

[shiningnightstars]

lets go team future

[crystallizsch]

uh hi. meet jas(mine)???

[taiturner]

can't stop thinking about akilah's "we can still get him out of there" because it was so obvious to her. obviously we're going to save this kid, right? her look of confusion and panic when she's told to wait, when everyone else stands there watching, when she feels like she has no option but to do the same -- even after he dies and everyone finally moves and she's still confused because she can't fathom any of this. she couldn't fathom killing nat either, the way everyone stood there and stared while she turned her entire body away so she wouldn't have to watch, the way she doesn't even look relieved when she doesn't draw the queen card because someone still has to die, the way that everyone grabbed a weapon leaving the cabin except for her. but not wanting anyone to die, trying to help, not wielding her own weapon doesn't absolve her of any guilt because she was still a willing participant in all of this, she still stood by, and she has to live (gets to live!) with that. she's been clinging to life all season but she is surrounded by death and it's only getting harder for her to ignore.

if you even care

[imagine-to-be-a-pike]

I will never forgive fandom how unfair it is about Arthur

Dark Merlin It's usually good angst. You know, Merlin had had enough. Dark Arthur? Arthur is a fucking rapist, a monster.

Merlin guilty? Merlin feeling guilty and comforted by the entire cast. Arthur guilty? Arthur doing the worst things possible and someone razing him to the ground

Merlin always gets these nice things. always flowers, courtship, everything. Found family? Everyone comforts Merlin because big bad Arthur. (literally almost every Merlin "found family" is everyone loves Merlin and treats Arthur like shit)

Merlin gets an apology. Arthur? My parents will love me faster than someone will apologize to Arthur in fanfiction.

"suicidal, self-harming Merlin" but Arthur has no right to have mental problems (a whole lot of people have wanted him dead since he was born)

Protectivr knights? Always about Merlin.

Even the fucking omegaverse. Alpha Merlin is a nice calm creature who pretends to be a beta. Alpha Arthur... wild animal, keep Merlin in a cage.

No. Just no.

(forever grateful to those stupid British people that arthur never told merlin he was fat. because the fandom understands that something is a comedy if merlin says it. if arthur it would be ,,abuse")

[mollyjames]

Been having a hard time lately expressing what I want from people helping me in video games. There's times when I appreciate it but other times when folks mean well but it spoils my fun.

I think it comes down to what I do and do not consider a waste if time. I like exploration and I like puzzles. In Souls games in particular, I like approaching combat as if it were a puzzle. That can mean figuring out an enemy's gimmick, or it can mean figuring out the moveset of this cool new weapon I just found. (It's also why I dont like relying too heavily on a single weapon. Something like the Bolt of Gransax is powerful, but it's also a bit of a skeleton key in combat: just shoot enemies from a distance until they die. More fun when you have to also run away from a dragon, less for mobs that die in one hit.)

When I get to a new area and someone tells me go to X location to get Y item, it's like they've told me the solution to a puzzle I barely got the chance to look at. I dont get to engage the part of my brain I find the most rewarding. Failure is also an important part of puzzle solving. It means I get to test ideas and learn new things. Telling me not to go a certain direction yet doesn't tell me anything. Even if ultimately I turn back, I still dont feel like I wasted my time because I learned something.

That's not to say I never want help. The other day I got stuck in one section of the DLC combing an area for over an hour trying to find a solution to a puzzle that I simply wasn't able to access yet. That was a waste of time. I also dont mind being flagged to check out certain areas. To me that isnt telling me the solution so much as telling me "hey, there's a fun puzzle over there! Go check it out!"

I dont know if that makes sense or if there's a cleaner way of expressing what I'm talking about here. Maybe I need to chill more. But I think curiosity is genuinely a major drive for me. I want it stoked, not bludgeoned.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think what might actually help the families of trans loved ones is to actually engage with where the trans person is at - especially if the family isn't quite understanding yet. When I came out, I was completely alone in figuring out my manhood. I had peers and I had exposed myself to so many trans people who explored gender, and while it was amazing, it isn't quite the same at times. I grieve quietly, sometimes, about all the missed opportunities that might have just made it easier for my family to have seen how utterly happy I was. It took them a very long time to actually notice that I was happy, especially once I got on testosterone. I'm lucky that they saw that happiness eventually, and slowly accepted it. My manhood is completely detached from their influence, both to my relief and chagrin. It's sad to me that I learned to shave from a kind online stranger, somebody who didn't even have a father and yet, I do. I have a father. I grieve at the loss of a potential shared experience. I grieve about the pain I went through when I was in that stage of transition, especially because it was raw and vulnerable. I grieve that many trans people today are traversing the path I had to, because it's sometimes lonely (even when you do have other forms of support).

It's hard to know that I will never have gotten my sense of being from my family. In many ways, it has severed a lot of connection with them because there were so many times that I was begging them to see happiness when they were focused on the idea that I was almost in a state of purgatory - flesh which felt warm but held no familiarity to them. I don't harbor ill-will toward them, I hope I don't leave the impression that I despise them. I understand what they felt, even if I can't conceptualize it myself. However, it's a raw wound in my heart, and I don't want to leave anybody else feeling that way, either.

[bardicious]

Sudden thought, I wonder if Erik is actually not aware of Charles’ limitations. Erik meets Charles as the latter jumps into the ocean to save him. Charles is calm all through out. Seemingly not afraid to sacrifice OR knows he will not need to sacrifice anything to meet Erik down below.

Charles tells Erik he knows everything about him. To some extent maybe, but not really. Charles gets the gist of people around him. Goes in enough to know who’s a threat, who can be trusted, but he asks Erik’s permission in finding that sweet memory of Erik and his mom. Charles didn’t know about it beforehand.

Erik didn’t even think Charles would feel Shaw’s death, nor the people on the boats. He assumes Charles has the option to not feel it, presumably. Or doesn’t know how bad it could be.

Erik leaves Charles on the beach before Charles learns he can’t feel his legs, he doesn’t see Charles’ breakdown and Charles keeps himself together admirably beforehand. Reigning in what must be extreme amounts of pain.

When Erik sees Charles again, Erik presumes that Charles could and would use his powers on Erik, stop him whenever he wants, because they’re enemies now. When he realizes Charles can’t do that, it is still unfathomable to him. And on the plane it all suddenly makes sense. Charles valued his ability to walk more than his powers, Charles chose to remove his powers. Charles abandoned them all to pretend at being normal.

Not for a second does Erik believe Charles is anything but all put together, all knowing. Presumably naive, Erik knows better how cruel the world is. Has experienced real hardship while Charles, as much as Erik loves him, lived a pampered one. It makes sense to Erik that Charles would pick being human.

Not once does Erik think Charles may have been abused by a step father and a step brother. Suffered an alcoholic mother who possibly drank herself to death long before 1962. Charles simply doesn’t say anything and quite honestly prefers to move on from them, because they don’t matter. Raven and Erik matter tho. His little team of mutants mattered, and every single one he’s met at first year of school and through cerebro matter.

Charles is strong enough to help the mutants in need, guide them, and if he were just willing to see Erik’s point of view, fight the good fight against the humans. Because Charles doesn’t make mistakes, Charles doesn’t have failures, but he fails the rest of them.

Charles, unfortunately, isn’t seen as a fallible person to even Erik. More akin to a god, that Erik needs to protect his mind from, because otherwise, his god will exact judgment and punishment. Take his free will away from him because Erik has disobeyed him. To Erik, while Charles and him are equals, both god figures in their own right, with his helmet he levels out a playing field Charles doesn’t even see.

Of course, this is not unlike everyone else in Charles’ life, though where Erik sees a godly figure, everyone else sees Charles as a parent figure, placing him on a similar high pedestal. Seemingly everyone will tend to ignore Charles’ possible emotional instability or fallibility, the way a child might expect their parent to be all knowing. Charles’ wrongs become grander because surely he knows better. So why did Charles’ let this, whatever this is, happen?

[victoriademedici]

royal men + text post memes (insp.)

[beautiful-rebellious-sunflower]

welcome home

[cloudysarts]

imagine if the federation tried to make a phoenix with birdperson's daughter wouldn't that be fucked up hahaha < insane

like father like daughter.

(pr0/c0mship dni)

[kingofstag]

things get better. my best friend in the world got top surgery after us talking about it for years. i'm getting mine next year. i have genuine friends now who teach me everyday what love looks like. love looks like going to an arcade and talking for hours at the bar instead. love looks like planning road trips to our hometowns. love looks like choosing our regalia colors together. love looks like learning our language. love looks like compression binders. love looks like top surgery scars. love looks like sweet grass tattoos.

things get better.

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I wonder what it is about breaking up with someone and starting new that I find so upsetting. I realize that people also find break ups heartbreaking, but I know I take it to an extreme. I've never liked the idea of having different partners throughout my life. The idea of having an ex has always been something I hated. The type of breakup didn't matter to me. That is to say whether we ended on good or bad terms didn't make the idea of ending a relationship better to me. I'm not trying to be pretentious about it, I'm just being fr about a sentiment I've held for as long as I can remember. I've never been the type of person who enjoyed the idea of hook ups or casual dating. For better or worse, I've always held the belief that romantic relationships should be all in and serious from the beginning.

I think this feeling is definitely exacerbated by the fact that I've been passed up for another person before so I know what it's like to have someone "move on" from you, and it genuinely sucks like all fucking hell lmao. So the idea of "moving on" and being with someone else has been incredibly tarnished for me.