#my friends play Bard Rogue and Wizard

[zellkabellk]

So, we continued our multiplayer run of BG3 with friends yesterday night (I'm the one in the background)

[zedecksiew]

What Do Ability Scores Represent?

Recently, Into The Odd and the players in my home game helped me realise something fundamental:

Ability scores represent how good you are at acting under pressure.

STR isn't strength, it's toughness;

DEX really means reflexes;

WIS is more accurately calm or willpower;

etc.

+++

It is convention in roleplaying games that your ability scores / attributes / six stats determine who your character is.

High DEX means your character is spry, capable of acrobatic flourish; a good Willpower generally means you can browbeat others / themselves / reality (if you are spellcaster) into doing what they want; etc.

There is pleasure in looking at a sheet and seeing: Oh! These are the things my character is good at.

But you do run into problems. Does my 18 DEX rogue know they are fleeter than the 17 DEX bard? What if my wizard thinks she is stronger than her 10 STR? What if I have a brilliant scheme but my barbarian only has 9 INT?

How well, in other words, does the map represent the territory?

+++

(Art by Vesha, who is an illustrator! source)

I've got three players in my home game:

Vesha plays the teenaged trader Khabar (and his buffalo friend / parent-figure, Paal);

Amanda plays the monkey warrior Boots-Ra, now going white-furred;

Aish plays Captain Phung.

Phung does not yet own a proper sea-going vessel. Perhaps he lost his previous ship? Perhaps he never had one. (He does have a magic five-person sampan, though!)

He is impulsive. He tends to make dodgy deals with hapless village-folk, pick up dangerous-looking objects, and flirt with dangerous-looking men.

+++

Mechanics-wise, here's how my interactions with Aish / Phung tend to go:

Me: Okay, make a DEX save to duck before the hunter stabs you. Aish: Damn, my DEX is only 6, guess we'll see ... Amanda: Oh, no, Phung!

In a previous session:

Me: Okay, I think I'll call for a WIL save, because the ghost in the goat skull is trying to possess you. Aish: Well, my WIL is 5, hopefully this works out ... Vesha: Oh shit, Phung!

Some sessions back:

Me: The automaton shoves you. Make a STR save? Otherwise you'll be on the ground at its mercy. Aish: Guys I have 6 STR, I may be in trouble here. Me: Wait wait wait. What are your stats again?

So it turns out that Aish had terrible rolls at chargen. STR 6 DEX 6 WIL 5. Just going by ability scores, Phung is an idiot weakling.

+++

Thing is, Phung isn't an idiot weakling.

I've got crafty players; they are pretty good at cooking up multi-part schemes. (Their go-to tactic is bamboozling rival factions to show up at the same place, then benefit from the fallout.)

Phung is generally the face for whatever racket they've got going: he's the most obvious leader (the party is generally "Captain Phung and crew"), and Aish plays him as a capable, charismatic go-getter.

Looking at the character sheet, is Aish playing Phung wrong?

Fuck that. A player cannot play their own character wrong. I reject this notion outright.

What's going on?

+++

Different rulesets try to bridge the gaps between player action, character ability, and abstract math in different ways: eliminating mental attributes; going totally skill-based; etc.

The ruleset that comes closest to "solving" this, for me, is Into The Odd.

Saves are the only kind of test player-characters make, in ITO and its derivatives. This is key.

The ruleset assumes competency on the part of characters; you only go to the dice if you need to figure out stuff that is out of your control.

How badly a straight-up fight goes; whether you can jump aside in time if you've accidentally sprung a trap; whether you can improvise a lie on the fly.

+++

Implicitly, and in practice:

The STR stat in ITO is more accurately toughness---ie: how well you can withstand a physically demanding situation you didn't prepare for.

Ditto DEX, which is an abstraction for how quickly your reflexes trigger.

Same with WIL, which is how well you stay calm under duress.

I can be sharp when I've got time and it is a subject I have experience in. But suddenly ask me to make a speech and I'm toast (low INT).

Some folks have no martial arts training but can hold their own if a brawl breaks out in a bar (high STR).

Captain Phung is a pretty cool operator when he's in control, but tends to seize up when things go off the rails (low WIL).

There's my answer to the conundrum of Captain Phung: he's a genuinely capable guy. He's just not necessarily great under stress. His reach exceeds his grasp, sometimes.

+++

Your ability scores don't represent who your character is. Your ability scores represent who your character is, when under duress.

In other words:

Ability scores are who your character is when they are not in control. Ability scores are your character's reactions.

+++

I do feel slow on the uptake, for only grokking this now.

Chris McDowall probably has a post from the mid 2010s or something where he discusses this aspect design in detail, the clever genius bastard. It is probably internalised play-culture within the ITO-and-descendants community; Emms points out that the current edition of Mothership explicitly talks about stats in this way.

Still!

Am glad to have a regular TTRPG group again, and I have them to thank for my epiphany!

(They are kickass. I ran them through Whirling Mummy a while back and it was a RIOT)

[gunpowderraven]

critical role: by someone that hasn’t seen any of it

hi so we recently got into dimension 20 and our friends have been tugging us towards critical role for a very long time at this point but we still haven’t watched any of it nor do we know all that much about anything that actually happens in it. however we do intend to actually start watching soon so we decided it was the perfect opportunity to make one of those ‘all the things i know about this thing i haven’t watched’ posts, show it to our critrole friends, and then actually get into critrole and be able to look back and laugh about it later

also the images are all sourced via friend so this is all one hundred percent no wiki no google knowledge, just from tumblr and discord convos and stuff. and some cast compilation videos that were very funny

update: we are now watching cr3! liveblog tag for silly lb -> #cr3 lb

vox machina

from left to right:

- i have literally no idea who the two halflings are. i’ve never seen them before in my life. what. uh. paladin and bard? im literally just guessing. who plays these characters. what

- grog? grug? this is travis’ pc maybe. also hypothesizing hes a half-orc barbarian or something similar? ive seen like one clip of him

- percival frederick von something something de rolo i think there’s a iii in his name as well, his name is long and very german but he does not have a german accent. or a french one. at separate times i have thought this character was german and french and then i heard him talk and was like. What. anyway i know he’s taliesin’s pc and he invented guns and is also possessed sometimes by big bird demon, and he has a nifty plague doctor mask. also tragic backstory. his entire family is dead i think. no mercy percy! he has a thing with vex? also his hair did a wilbur. the gay people on tumblr love this twink. i also think i love this twink

- vax’ildan! i think i may have actually spelled that right! half-elf? vex is his twin? and he’s... liam’s pc i think. yeah that’s it. he gives me angsty boy energy tho. not as much as percy but this boy has seen some shit. also he might be a rogue or a ranger who even knows. he looks like gay jon snow

- vex’ahlia which i definitely didn’t spell right. i think the next one is marisha’s pc so this one is... uh... laura? i think she’s the ranger actually. i think she has a bear. not like a gay bear like an actual animal bear. though it could be gay too i dunno. she has a think with percy. or everyone wants her to have a thing with percy. i genuinely can’t tell. anyway get that traumatized twink girl

- keyleth... marisha’s pc. some kind of spellcaster? maybe sorcerer? wild magic? she Also has a thing with percy maybe. or vex. or both. who even knows. everyone wants that twink. one time she threw herself off a cliff and turned into a goldfish and almost died and it was hilarious

anything else i know about this:

- there are evil bitches called the briarwoods and they might be vampires

- this is the one that got a tv show and might have also been the first critrole campaign idek

- d. ragons? chromia something. dragons. i hope i haven’t been lied to about the dragons. i hope there are actually dragons in this. there’s like a chromium something with dragon symbols tho

mighty nein

from left to right:

- mollymauk! ...tealeaf? another taliesin pc. the trans people like this one. i don’t know what their pronouns are. but theyre slaying every time i see them at any time. no idea what class but maybe a spellcaster?

- ...beau? i know her exclusively through lesbian ship art so i know her name is beau something bc that’s the ship names but i don’t know if that’s short for something. monk? no clue. also no clue who plays her either. maybe marisha?

- i have seen this character but i do not know their name. or anything else about them

- oh this is the sad wizard boy caleb widogast. he’s gay for essek thelyss (or something. i didnt spell that right) who is a npc i think. yeah. sad wizard. every time i see him he’s just being a wizard and sad. the gays love him too but he’s more of a distraught otter than a sad twink. maybe he and percy should start a club tho. also i think he’s played by liam

- i KNOW this character’s name i think it starts with s but i can’t remember for the life of me. scriv? scrat? no thats the rat from ice age. possibly a menace? i think im getting them mixed up with someone else. they look cool as hell though

- jester!! laura pc i think perhaps. i want to get drunk with her and tell her about all of my problems. yeah. i dont know anything about her actually. beaujester exists tho i know that

- YASHA. CRUSH ME HOLY FUCK. sorry im normal ? her voice makes me a little crazy insane. ive seen a few clips of her. mostly gay shit with beau. uh she’s played by ashley and she could kick my ass very easily

oh my god there’s another photo

- i think there’s only one character different here and it’s caduceus clay fun fact i hated this mfer for really dumb shitty personal reasons for a while before deciding it was very stupid to blame a fictional character for interpersonal drama and now im fine with him. wait does mollymauk die or something. wait a second. no, wait, fuck—

- ALSO WHO’S THAT FUCKER IN THE BACKGROUND I JUST NOTICED THAT

anything else i know about this:

- yeah i got nothing. no idea about the lore or the plot or anything bc i pretty much exclusively see gay ship art of these pcs. love wins i support it

bells hells

from left to right, one more time:

- look my brain is just saying gertrude from dungeons & drag queens but obviously that’s incorrect. so i don’t know who this is

- or this! but she looks very pretty and i love the little... monkey... bird? pls tell me these two characters have some kind of wild opposites dynamic they look like they do

- LITTLE ROBOT GUY . fcg? fgc? i think it was the first one. uh. liam pc? ?????? i think he gets bitches

- orym...? i know one of these characters is named orym. and i think it’s this one. i also see gay fanart of him

- i don’t know who the guy underneath him is

- or the lady with the purple hair god i really don’t know shit about this campaign sorry

- ashton greymoore, taliesin pc, my friend luna loves this guy, he’s. rocks? he’s rocks. groovy.

- someone in this campaign is named like dorian or something and im guessing its this one bc idk who they are either

anything else i know about this:

- flying.......... ship?

- this is the ongoing one i think

thank you for coming to my ted talk, i can’t wait to look back at this in a few months and laugh my ass off. hope u enjoyed this mess

[daisybeewrites]

Agents of Shield as ✨DnD Archetypes✨

~Daisy~

Daisy! my baby love girl boss queen… is a sorcerer! She’s smart, she’s fun, she has magic powers from ancient dna in her blood! She’s deeply connected to the natural environment, and is friends with the smallest atoms. She’s cool and everyone knows it.

~Jemma~

Look at her. Look. At. Her. She is smol, she is lovely, she will fuck you up if needed! My girl is a wizard. Her strength may be a solid 10, but she’s got a +10 to all intelligence rolls. She has three PhDs in beating her enemy’s ass. Just imagine her in sparkly robes. Or cool jeans and a jean jacket. Jemma definitely cosplayed as Adaine at some point.

~Fitz~

Our resident nerd is an artificer. Obviously. I feel that I don’t even need to explain this but just in case… he’s a magic engineer. He likes tinkering. Has definitely accidently blown up multiple labs playing with magical items. Duh.

~Melinda~

ROGUE. Melinda May is a rogue. You think you can hear her coming? No. She has sneak attack. She has a 20 stealth and proficiency. My bae sees all. She is Mom, and we all know that nothing gets past Mama May.

~Phil~

This may be a hot take. But. Coulson is a bard! His first instinct is to use charisma before drawing weapons. He may not have many fans (in universe), but you have to admit that people tend to love him. He loves music, he loves jokes, and most of the time he’s more focused on helping out his team than playing the hero. He would be such a good bard!!

~Bobbi~

My lovely Bobbi. Bobbi Morse is a fighter. In every sense of the word. She’s strong outwardly and emotionally; she’s loyal, almost to a fault. She has strong ethos and sticks to her guns. Bobbi watches everyone’s back always, because she loves them. She is the very best fighter there is.

~Hunter~

I wrestled with calling him the clown and calling it a day, however…! I have made the executive decision that Hunter is a ranger. He is great at keeping his distance (derogatory) but c’mon, you can’t stay mad at him. He lays low and moves quickly. I also think it’s funny how caring he is and charismatic he tries to be and literally his strongest trait is dodging all the quips and pillows that are thrown at him. Dex baby! Hunter is (fittingly) a ranger!

~Daniel~

Daniel… my sweet Daniel. Mr. Sousa here is, I firmly believe, also a ranger. Idk. I’m between ranger or paladin, because I feel like yeah sure he’s the boy scout survival guy but at the same time I think he’s the stable, healer type. He has strong morals (square lol) and I feel like that translate well into both ranger and paladin :)

Should I make a part II? ☺️

[weaveandwood]

The Bard and The Blade Chapter 2: A Small Continent

Wyll/Named Tav | Slow Burn | Read on AO3 | Entire Work

Summary:

Rosalind has a poor showing in battle and the mission is a complete failure. Will Wyll change his mind about accompanying the party now?

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out before taking a large gulp of her wine, which he instantly topped up.  “For what?” He laughed. “For having a bad day? It happens to everyone. I have had a number of days end just like this, returning to camp with my metaphorical tail tucked between my legs, my only solace at the bottom of a glass of wine. Now…I can honestly say I haven’t died in the middle of a fight,” he smiled as he teased her, hoping it would help lift her spirits. He wasn’t ready to admit to her that the sight of her lying lifeless on the ground sent a cold dread through him, even though they had only known each other a little more than a day at that point.

AN: This chapter was born out of the fact that I am playing on Balanced mode (and am Not Good at the game, even though I enjoy it immensely) and a glitch in my Investigate Kagha quest. I'm hoping to update this fic every 2 weeks, alternating with Weave & Woods. Also big thank you to @druizard for the banner!

Dying the second day of their adventure wasn’t part of Rosalind’s plan, but as she woke up gasping for air with her three party companions standing around her, it was clear that was exactly what happened. She groaned as she sat up, her now pounding head in her hands as her elbows were balanced on her knees. 

“What happened?” She asked the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with Gale, Astarion, or especially Wyll out of sheer embarrassment.

“Wood Woads,” said Gale. “Nasty buggers, they got us all pretty good.”

“Speak for yourself, wizard. I am perfectly fine, thank you very much,” said Astarion, a hint of amusement in his voice. Rosalind glanced up. Gale and Wyll looked way more beat up than Astarion. She assumed he used his sneaking abilities to get around the majority of the fight. She had been friends with plenty of rogues growing up in the Lower City, she knew how they operated. 

“As I was about to say,” Gale said as he leveled a look at Astarion who was no longer paying attention, having moved on to look around the small island for chests that may have loot in them. “Luckily, we had taken down most of the mud mephits and the other Wood Woad before you went down. Wyll here got the final blast in right after you…well right after you died.” 

She looked at Wyll, who was staring off into the distance, not making eye contact with her. While she had to admit he looked extremely handsome as the sun shone on his face, this had clearly not been a good first impression on her part. He was probably rethinking their deal right at this moment and was plotting how to leave their camp and capture Karlach on his own, leaving her in the dust. She thought about resurrecting the Wood Woad to take her out again or crawling into a large tree trunk and never coming out. Maybe she could get Gale to cast an invisibility spell on her so she could slink off for good. All three sounded like good and valid options at this point. 

“Weren’t we supposed to find some sort of clue here about Kagha?” Astarion yelled from behind the large tree trunk. The whole reason they came to this area was to see what shady deal Kagha was getting into based on the letter they found in her quarters and hopefully try to talk her out of performing the ritual that would seal the Emerald Grove and set the tiefling refugees out on a road far too dangerous for anyone who wasn’t trained to fight. “There’s nothing here!”

Rosalind took Gale’s now outstretched hand and he smiled at her as he helped her up from the ground. What a good, kind man. She was glad she pulled him out of that rock. She walked stiffly to Astarion, groaning and rubbing her back as she did. “What do you mean, there’s nothing here? There has to be!” She was desperate for something to go right today. 

“Darling, I’ve looked in every chest, under each rock, and in every nook in this tree. There’s nothing. Either someone else got to it first, or we were duped and there never was anything here.”

She sighed. This was not her day at all. “Alright, let’s head back, I guess.”

As they walked the path through the swamp back to the grove, she found herself falling in step with Gale while Wyll and Astarion led the way. Gale was easy to talk to - partially because he loved to talk, and partially because wizards had always been so interesting to her. The way they practiced magic was so studied, so precise. Sometimes watching a wizard cast felt cold, calculated, formulaic - less about artistry, more about precision. Gale was on a different level - the way he moved his hands was faster than any wizard she had ever seen, and the spells he chose had a certain flair to them, either in the type of spell he chose or when he chose to cast them, which resulted in the most dramatic effect. An artist can always spot another artist, and Rosalind felt a kindred spirit in Gale. 

“You know,” he said softly as he slowed down, putting more distance between the two groups, “I think Wyll was angrier when you went down than he was during the goblin fight yesterday. An instant after you fell, the Wood Woad who caused your demise was nothing but ash. He was also the one to revive you. Astarion and I didn’t even have time to attempt to dig our scrolls of revivify out of our packs before he was already chanting the verbal components at your side.” He smiled, a knowing tone in his voice. “Interesting, don’t you think?”

Rosalind stopped in her tracks, her mind racing. Wyll revived her? Instantly, she was giddy as she pictured him pushing everyone away to rescue the downed, fair maiden. She giggled internally at the thought and caught herself starting to blush. On the other, more practical hand, it made complete sense. He’s a hero - of course he’d rush to her rescue out of a sense of duty. Part of the job. Just another day. She knew that. And the anger Gale described? Well, that was definitely because she was a failure and put them all in danger. Any thoughts she had of him potentially fancying her disappeared as quickly as they came, replaced by deep embarrassment again at being unable to hold her own on the battlefield that day. Living in a large tree trunk for the rest of her days now seemed like the most appealing option again. 

Maybe a family of raccoons would take her and her tadpole in. 

******

The mood at camp that evening was subdued. Wyll noticed everyone seemed to take their cues from Rosalind, effectively the party leader at this point, and Rosalind was not in the best of moods. She sat away from the rest of the group, using her fork to stab at the remnants of whatever vegetables remained in her bowl of stew Gale had prepared and muttering to herself.

He recognized that mood.

He grabbed two cups and a bottle of wine and walked over, sitting next to her on the ground. He saw her freeze for a second before looking up at him. She had the biggest blue eyes with flecks of gold. He hadn’t taken the time to appreciate them fully the other day, but he was sure he’d notice their beauty all the time now. He filled one cup and handed it to her before filling his own. 

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out before taking a large gulp of her wine, which he instantly topped up. 

“For what?” He laughed. “For having a bad day? It happens to everyone. I have had a number of days end just like this, returning to camp with my metaphorical tail tucked between my legs, my only solace at the bottom of a glass of wine. Now…I can honestly say I haven’t died in the middle of a fight,” he smiled as he teased her, hoping it would help lift her spirits. He wasn’t ready to admit to her that the sight of her lying lifeless on the ground sent a cold dread through him, even though they had only known each other a little more than a day at that point. 

She groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Don’t remind me. I have a scroll I can give you to replace the one you wasted on me.”

He placed a hand on her arm, the contact making her look at him. “It wasn’t a waste, Rosalind. It would never be a waste to revive a valued member of a party.” 

She sighed. “I’m not sure exactly how valued I am. I am sure everyone here thinks I’m awful and would leave me on the side of the road in a heartbeat. Well, maybe not Gale. I’m just…new to this. Fighting, traveling, roughing it. All of it. I’ve only been outside of Baldur’s Gate just a few times, and one of those times led to me being kidnapped by mindflayers. Once this is over I don’t think I’ll be venturing outside the city again for a good long while,” she said and laughed nervously, finishing her wine. 

Wyll took a drink, observing the rest of the party. Lae’zel kept to herself mostly, sharpening her blades each night. He had heard her admonish Rosalind for dying, ordering her to train with her during any free time from now on. Gale, Astarion, and Shadowheart sat together, laughing quietly at something. Gale looked over at them a couple of times as Wyll watched. He thought he saw a smile, a nod directed at Rosalind. Wonder what that is about? He turned to look at her and caught her staring at him, her chin resting on her hands. She quickly tried to look away, but he noticed the blush rising up her neck. He smiled to himself. 

“Refill?” he asked, holding up the bottle of wine, now half gone. 

“Please,” she replied, holding out her cup. 

“So you’re from Baldur’s Gate?” He asked, wanting to confirm that his suspicions on her identity were correct. 

“Oh! I guess we didn’t really get a chance to talk much. Eventful day yesterday, what with the kidnapping, the crash, and the battle with the goblins. I think I fell asleep 10 minutes after setting up my tent. Anyway…” She cleared her throat. “Yes, I’m from Baldur’s Gate, born and raised, in a manner of speaking. You’ve already figured out that I’m a bard. Hmmm, what else? I mainly perform in coffee shops and taverns in the Lower City, sometimes the Upper City - but those are few and far between. I’ve been asked to perform at private events and bigger venues but I turn them down every time. One must keep their reputation intact, you know.” She rotated her cup in her hands as she spoke. “Do…do you ever stop in Baldur’s Gate on any Blade of Frontiers missions?” She asked. 

He shook his head. “I was raised there, but left seven years ago. I was seventeen with an eye for adventure and haven’t been back since. I did enjoy seeing bards perform in the Lower City Plaza when I was a teenager though.”

“I used to perform at that plaza! My first paying gig was there. I was so nervous!” She smiled, her face lighting up as she reminisced. “It was such a big place, and it was the weekend so of course it was busy with people not even pretending to pay attention to me. I remember it so vividly! I wanted it to feel intimate so I cast dancing lights but instead of the cool blue they normally are when I cast, I changed them to be warm yellow, like candlelight. I thought I was so creative,” she laughed. “I think maybe twenty people listened to me that night, but I’ll never forget it.” 

Wyll couldn’t believe it. It was her - The Sunlark. What a small continent it was. 

“I wonder if our paths ever crossed before this. It’s such a huge city, it feels unlikely. But I got that gig when I was seventeen, and if I’m doing the math correctly, that would have been when you were sixteen, so there’s a chance,” she said, looking at him again and catching him smiling at her. “What are you smiling about?” She asked, taking a sip.

“I remember you. I saw that performance.” He finished his wine, the bottle now empty. 

He heard her choke on her wine and had to hold back his own laughter. “You did? And you remember it after all these years? It was either really good or really bad to be that memorable,” she laughed nervously. “Hopefully good, though,” she added.

The fire cast a diffused warm glow onto her, reminding him of that night. “Good enough for a sixteen year old boy to skip drinking with his friends at the Elfsong. And good enough to remember a pretty bard’s beautiful singing after seven years,” he said softly as he looked over and saw her shy smile, the faint blush returning to her cheeks. His gaze traveled over her face, taking in the faded bird tattoos, the scar above her eyebrow, her freckles, the scar cutting through her full lips. They looked soft. He saw her beautiful blue eyes do the same, pausing when they got to his lips. He realized suddenly that he had been leaning toward her, their bodies closer now than they were when he sat next to her. All it would take was him leaning in just a little more…

No, there wasn’t time for that. He cleared his throat and stood up quickly.

“It’s getting late, I should get to my tent. Tomorrow we hunt down Karlach and we’ll need all of our strength to capture that infernal devil. Goodnight, Rosalind, thank you for the conversation.” He bowed to her before turning and walking across camp.

******

Rosalind smiled to herself as she finished the last of her wine. He had seen her perform. He remembered her. He called her pretty . Gone was the embarrassment of the day. Gone was the desire to run away. Gone were the feelings of doubt and insecurity - at least for now. She was positive she’d make more mistakes, most likely tomorrow. But none of that mattered because the Blade of Frontiers complimented her singing voice. She would float on the cloud she was now on as long as possible.

Not quite ready to end the day, she went across the campsite to sit between Gale and Astarion, laughing at jokes they were telling at each other’s expense. Her favorites were the ones about Shadowheart’s permanent scowl - even Shadowheart managed to crack a smile at a couple of them. As the wine flowed between the four of them, however, the attention turned to her. 

“So, Rosalind,” Astarion crooned. “You and Wyll looked rather…cozy over there.” 

Oh, no.

She felt her cheeks get hot, sure they were turning bright red. “We were just talking,” she said, taking a long drink. 

“Please, the two of you looked like you were two seconds away from -”

“Now, Astarion,” Gale interrupted. “Rosalind and Wyll are young. Surely you remember what it was like to be so young after the heat of a battle? I could hardly blame them for their…closeness.” Rosalind choked on her wine again. Somehow it sounded even worse coming from Gale. 

“No, no. He was just cheering me up! It was a hard day, what with dying and the mission being a complete failure. That’s all. We both grew up in Baldur’s Gate, so we were reminiscing.” Gale, Astarion, and Shadowheart all exchanged a look that implied they didn’t believe her for a second. 

She looked up at the sky, squinting at the moon, now high overhead. Does that even mean anything for nighttime? She thought, suddenly wishing she had taken the time to learn just a little about life in the wilds and not focus her entire childhood on just surviving in the city. “Well! Look at the time! We should probably wrap this up - big day tomorrow, capturing a devil and all! I’m just…I’m just going to go to my tent now.” She turned on her heel and raised her hand to give an awkward wave. “Good night! See you in the morning!” She heard the sound of muffled laughter as she entered her tent. 

She took two deep breaths, thinking again about her conversation with Wyll. She smiled as she climbed into her bedroll, grabbing her small notebook she kept for jotting down notes, potential lyrics. She wrote “fire, wine, soft lips, almost kiss” on a page and closed it, holding it to her chest. 

“Sorry family of raccoons, I think my tadpole and I are going to be sticking around here,” she laughed to herself.

[captainofthetidesbreath]

Downfall! I am EXHAUSTED, so I don't have any pre-roll here, but I am EXCITED. So, there are TWO bingos:

one for narrative stuff and mechanics, which has 49 items, located here

one entirely for specifically PC details, which has 40 items, located here

The items for both lists are under the cut. I don't necessarily have any notes right now—but yes, "Bolo joke" is there because it's funny to me and my friends. As always, if you have any questions about what a square is intended to mean, feel free to ask!

I may potentially add a couple more squares in the next half hour, but I'll make a post stating what I added. To play with those squares, just refresh your card.

Putting the Brutal in Brutalism

Apogee Solstice mention

set on Apogee Solstice

Vestige of Divergence

Arms of the Betrayers

Factorum Malleus mention

Frigid Woe mention

Aeorian Hunter

other Aeor project named

lack of windows noted

lack of windows explained

divine magic disrupted

lose contact with gods

prophecy

Bolo joke

Halas mention

Somnovem mention

Brashaar mention or appearance

Athodan mention or appearance

Prime Deity appearance

Betrayer God appearance

Predathos mention

Ethedok or Vordo mention

new Aeorian named

other known character mentioned

Avalir mention

Zemniaz mention

other flying city mention

new location named

previously named Aeor ward

Cognouza Ward still attached

Cognouza Ward missing

location other than Aeor visited

no initiative

initiative

multiple initiatives

pre-5e spell used or mentioned

Divine Sense

Divine Intervention

Scrying

Commune

Arcana check

Deception check

History check

Insight check on NPC

Insight check on PC

Perception check

Persuasion check

Religion check

Stealth check

Dramatis Personae

artificer

barbarian

bard

cleric

druid

fighter

monk

paladin

ranger

rogue

sorcerer

warlock

wizard

multiclass

2 or more clerics

2 or more paladins

2 or more wizards

2 or more multiclasses

Celestial warlock

Divine Soul sorcerer

Path of the Zealot barbarian

unclear subclass

homebrew subclass

PHB subcass

XGTE subclass

TCE subclass

subclass from other official source

level 6 to 10

level 11 to 15

level 16 to 20

follower of Prime Deity

follower of Betrayer God

Aeormaton

from another plane

from Issylra

from Marquet

from Tal'Dorei

from Wildemount

official Champion

homebrew feat

[90percentstudios]

What D&D classes would the CKC cast play as, and what would be their playstyle?

cody - changeling rogue. he'd get obsessed with trying to ride on the back of a hill giant instead of just freakin' killing it, and would probably forget he can do stuff like shapeshifting/bonus actions/etc 80% of the time. he's pretty deadly when he's locked in though, but it'd take some proof and convincing that an enemy is worthy of death. he'd also doodle while playing, heavily distracting him, but at least by the end of each session there's a bunch of silly drawings his friends can flip through.

mini - changeling cleric. the twins are both changelings cuz of everyone in the series, i think they're the only ones that've achieved being losers, cool kids, gods, averaged, AND banned. she's actually a big fan of making overly complicated plans, whether it's a heist, a jailbreak, you know she's got a dozen pastel gel pens to plan it all out! unfortunately she's got horrific luck, consistently rolling under 10. at least the plan goes well when someone else is carrying it out.

peter - human paladin. he has perfect recollection of all the rules and likes the game to be as immersive as possible, because convincing himself he's really a heroic paladin that people like and respect was his copium as a loser. that being said, post-series pb would have a bit more fun, especially with cody there to involve him in all his crazy antics.

juvie - tiefling barbarian/fighter multiclass. they frequently have to reassure their team they're not a violent psychopath irl, it's just that if you're playing in a world where you can do anything, why WOULDN'T you give every kobold a uniquely gruesome death and decorate your camp with their guts as a show of force? anyway they're very combat focused.

peggy - wood half-elf druid. any chance she has to transform into a unicorn she takes (it's not technically allowed but daniel allows her to turn into a horse that has a horn for flavor). she mostly trots around, eats apples, gives people horsey-rides, makes friends with other animals and often demands that daniel allow them to resurrect their friends (ahem cody) whenever they miraculously die.

holden - human bard. he actually brings his guitar and plays a short tune whenever he uses bard magic, it really adds to the immersion! he's also the party-face, meaning he's in charge of persuading the guards not to imprison everyone just because juvie tested the flammability of the local tavern's liqueurs. after a dozen of these instances he's gotten in the habit of telling guards "i've never seen that tiefling in my life."

daniel - elf wizard, (though he'd focus on dming, he'd probably include his own character in the campaign at peggy's request because "he'd be left out" if he didn't). his character would offer important exposition when it's already too late and punish the others for their reckless shenanigans by not helping them when they're in a bind. "it's better for character growth" he says.

gigi - sorcerer. she'd immediately grasp the rules, min-max the hell out of her character, remind people to use their ability modifiers and always be on the hunt for the best equipment, often getting holden to help bargain for them with his high charisma stat. her gamer-brain's also got a good memory for the lore of the campaign. "where was the grand exchange again?" "it was north east of kragmaw, remember?" "..." "in that cave in the side of the mountain?" "..." "you caused a cave-in that cut the water supply off from the local town, displacing hundreds?" "... ooooh, right."

rhyme - astral elf. would join the campaign a bit later than the others since she'd still be getting used to the friend group and all. everyone would welcome her in and they'd all grow as friends. she's annoyingly good at everything as always, yet somehow whenever she's near, mishap seems to follow. juvie's certain she's up to no good but no one believes them, until some pivotal moment when daniel reveals he'd invited her to play as a double agent on the side of evil and in order to complete the quest they must all fight to the death. when asked why the hell he'd do something like that he says "dammit i told you cody, FOR CHARACTER GROWTH!!" rhyme has stellar acting and everyone fights her with teary eyes, until... i dunno, they find some secret option of exorcising her of evil and completing the quest and no one dies and yadda yadda happy ending. anyway juvie gives a very well-deserved i told you so and rhyme admits her being the secret villain was a bit on the nose but she enjoyed the theatre of it all.

[multi-lefaiye]

FINALLY.... my project for the week is finally done. over the past several days, i've been working on portraits for the player characters in my wednesday d&d campaign, 'into darkness we march,' aka the campaign my boy eden was created for. i wanna draw more art of this campaign in general, so i think this was a good start :3 i love these characters so dearly.

in order, we've got: barley the monk-warlock (played by my fiance @skitzo-kero), strata the fighter-paladin (played by my friend @paradoxspir1t), hyndrol the rogue (played by my friend @moonflowerrss), james the artificer-rogue (played by my friend joey, who is not on tumblr afaik), eden the artificer-warlock (played by me <3), and pevier the bard (played by my friend parker, who is also not really on tumblr.)

these characters mean the world to me.

taglist under the cut! ask to be added or removed <3

@skitzo-kero @anexor @jezifster @kk7-rbs @moonflowerrss @chaieyestea @albatris @whonsper @invaderskoodge @approximately20eggs @rosesandartss @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @presidentquinn @astral-runic @astonishednoodle @transmasc-wizard

[whimsiandwild]

Right

Pairing: OC Tav (Thom) x Astarion

Word count: Just under 1.2K

Synopsis: Thom is in a little over his head after being lured by succubi. Thankfully, a handsome vampire is all too willing to come to his rescue...

A/N: I know, I know: WHERE'S GORTASH?! Sometimes I don't do that. SOMETIMES.

This is just a silly little idea I had and wanted to share. I love Thom with my whole heart and I wanted to write more of him, and I also love BG3, so it seemed like a beautiful match. I might make this a series depending on the feedback. Enjoy!

Thom was not a stupid man, though some had called the point into question on many an occasion. However, he was a sucker for a beautiful face with come-to-bed eyes; he'd been played a fool before by many a handsome rogue or pretty maiden. He liked to believe that he was just a man too filled with love, but the reality was that he was a man driven more by libido than the brains the gods had allowed him.

The worst of it had been the deception. How had he let himself be strung along for so long? It seemed all too obvious to him now what he had been; a sacrificial lamb dragged to the slaughter. If he'd known his end would come from damned succubi, he'd have offered himself to the gods by his own hand.

On second thoughts, the worst of it was that he had been warned; he'd just chosen not to listen.

At the time, he'd enjoyed Astarion's jealousy; the vampire wasn't used to someone else being the centre of attention when he was present. Oh, how he would laugh if he could see Thom now. As a matter of fact, he was quite sure he could hear the very same laugh at that very moment.

"Oh dear, darling. I did warn you," Astarion gloated from somewhere behind him. "Takes a monster to know one."

Thom could almost hear the way the man's eyes rolled as the succubi hissed viciously at him.

"Ladies, you must realise that you're extravagantly outnumbered? Besides, the bard is mine."

There was something disgustingly feral in the way Astarion said the word; Thom felt it in every inch of his body.

It was with excruciating shame that he realised that the entire team must be here. Astarion could very easily have managed the three alone, he just loved an opportunity to prove he was right, especially at the expense of someone else's humiliation.

Within seconds, there was a cacophony of sound. Karlach's bestial roar; the clash of steel against steel as Lae'zel lunged at one of them, the monster pulling a dagger from her thigh; Gale's casual boasting as magic missiles almost clipped Thom's ears. But the most magnificent of them all was Astarion.

He moved with such grace, spinning constant circles around the screeching succubus until she was dizzy, It was a beautiful sight; like a dance you wished to be part of but were held back by some irrational fear. Flashes of silver shone just outside of Thom's vision, the only evidence of them the blood trailing from the woman's face and chest. Astarion was toying with her, enjoying the frustration he was building in her, and Thom was mesmerised.

"You're very lucky you're handsome, Thom. You'd never survive otherwise."

Thom flushed, being jostled as Shadowheart made quick work of his binds. The moment he was free, he lunged to the side and grabbed his lyre, strumming an aggressive note and hitting the whole party with some bardic inspiration, not that any of them needed it. They'd made quick, clean work of all three, basically finished before the note had evaporated into nothingness.

"C'mon, soldier," Karlach said with a grin, holding out her free hand to help Thom up, which he gladly accepted. "What're you like?"

"Gale, you almost took his head off! It would have made the whole excursion pointless!" Shadowheart scolded the wizard, who, of course, took absolutely no notice of the reprimand.

"Ah, but this is where you are mistaken, my Sharran friend," Gale said, a finger in the air as he made his point. "I was all too aware of where the missiles were headed. Young Thomas had nothing to worry about, except maybe a light trim to that magnificent mane."

Eyes narrowing, Thom had a few choice words for the Wizard of Waterdeep but, Astarion slid into his vision almost immediately and distracted him.

"My poor little bard," he purred, Thom pouting as he found nothing to retort in response; Astarion was an overwhelming presence. "You're quite lucky I had the sense to follow you after that harlot led you away from the inn. Imagine the state… pieces you'd be in if I hadn't."

Thom muttered his thanks, snapping his knife belt around his waist and slamming the lid of his lyre case shut, clipping the locks closed.

"Sorry, darling. I didn't quite catch that."

"Thank you," he said through gritted teeth, standing to full height and towering over Astarion. By at least an inch or two.

"Good boy," Astarion laughed, Thom huffing at the affect those words had on him. "Now, tell me I was right and all of this will be forgotten. Water under the bridge, darling."

Not a chance, thought Thom.

"You were right," said Thom.

Astarion sauntered out with a shit-eating grin on his face, Karlach wrapping an encouraging arm around the bard's sagging shoulders as the group made their way back to camp.

Thom and Astarion were the only two left awake, lying side-by-side and gazing up at the brilliant celestial orb above them. Turning his head to the side, Thom smiled as he watched the vampire's face, quite possibly the most beautiful one he'd ever seen; it wasn't often that Astarion looked calm, but he looked positively serene presently.

"I don't need a tadpole writhing around in my brain to know you're staring, darling."

"I am grateful," Thom began as he turned his eyes back to the star-studded sky. "That you came. I should have known from the start but-."

"-You're not always the brightest banana in a bunch," Astarion finished with a chuckle, no malice in the sound. "I know. It's why I came to your rescue."

"Did you mean what you said?" Thom asked after a brief silence; his heart was pounding as he finally brought up the thing that had been niggling away at him since their return.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, darling."

"Yes, you do."

Rolling onto his front, Thom pushed himself up onto his elbows and watched the vampire; his expression hadn't changed a bit.

"Setting aside the night of the tiefling party-."

"Why on earth would you want to do that?" Astarion teased, his fangs gleaming as he grinned.

"I'm quite serious, sir," Thom huffed, the formality of it catching the vampire off guard, one red eye opening to look up at him. "I may not be a clever man like you or Gale but, in matters of the heart, I am deadly sure. If my heart and soul are to be put on the line here, I need to know the truth. Did you mean it?"

Astarion considered him for a long moment, his gaze penetrating the bard as he seemed to be trying to memorise every detail of him; it made Thom very self-conscious. With a dazzling smile, the vampire's long fingers grazed Thom's cheek, sending a shudder through him.

"Yes," Astarion said quietly. "I meant it."

With a nod, Thom lay back down beside his vampire, the two of them watching the changing sky in silence, their hands clasped between them. Nothing more needed to be said. At least, not tonight.

[vhstown]

spider-teens ★ D&D HEADCANONS

— hobie, gwen, miles, pavitr (+ peter b & mayday!)

warnings: d&d jargon (there's definitions at the end if you're curious), shenanigans, miles being a NERDDD, a lil shorter than usual

a/n: how id imagine these lot playing d&d!!! ive only played / ran 5e so forgive me veteran players 😭 again feel free to add / disagree w me it's all in good fun

If MILES doesn't run the game, he plays a warlock for sure. Not because it fits him personality wise but because he wants to be a magic user but also not be held back by it. My man is thinking STRATEGY and takes every opportunity to geek out about the specifics of his abilities. He also definitely has a ridiculously fleshed-out backstory he's kind of too embarrassed to tell anyone about.

Either warlock or the nerd multi-classes and it confuses the hell out of EVERYONE... I feel like he tries a lot of the classes though so warlock is kind of a starting point when he's playing with his spider friends (he defo played fighter or sorcerer in the past)

Miles is the one who gets everyone together though (and jumps through universes to make sure everyone's on time 😭 he will NOT tolerate scheduling issues)

Peter B runs a lot of their games except he used to play 3e or Pathfinder back in the day (nerd...) so Miles is just like... gritting his teeth a little whenever Peter misses a little detail or a skill check. He probably used to play in high school / college I mean come on...

Speaking of Peter B OF COURSE he lets Mayday roll the dice. The entire party could depend on that roll and she's rolling it and everyone is TENSE (And he tries not to let her eat the dice... Tries.)

HOBIE plays a barbarian or rogue. He'd play a barbarian just for the hell of it (sounds cool) and would most definitely carry everyone by total accident because he's like... the only one alive.

Rogue also for the hell of it cause stealing is rebellious and that 😭 Though if he does play a rogue his character becomes one of the most unintentionally complex characters in the game.

Hobie would figure out the entire plot of the adventure completely by accident and Peter just laughs awkwardly and goes "You'll just have to find out next session!" and maybe dies inside (but it's not like he prepares for his sessions anyway 💀)

Absolutely crits at the most ridiculous times and derails the whole campaign because he decided to interrogate a minor political figure and now they're destabilising the region's government instead of fighting dragons

And he accidentally becomes the leader of like the whole village and maybe starts a revolution and Peter is sat there lips pressed together hands pressed together elbows on table like "...I guess that happens then."

Might cheat a little bit. Just a little. Not enough to ruin the campaign but enough to have Peter sweating 💀 A lil strand of web under his dice hurt nobody right? (Those goblins are DEAD dead)

Miles is gob-smacked and definitely a little jealous of him 😭

PAVITR originally wants to play a fighter because that sounds... cool as hell BUT when Miles explains the bard class to him he takes it and runs

I'd say Pavitr is relatively new to the game as are Hobie and Gwen but he hones in on the roleplay (not as seriously as Miles but definitely participates)

Probably leads the group and goes head-first into danger (Miles is literally pissing himself) and his character probably knows loads of languages cause he just conveniently picked a race with very useful languages for the adventure (as per Miles' suggestion)

But he goes out-of-character more than once to go "WTF????" when he doesn't manage to rizz up an NPC and they're have to roll for initiative (attempts to be a pacifist)

The goat when it comes to fights though he plays such a good supporting character and if he were to die everyone would totally be finished 😭🙏

GWEN plays either a monk or a wizard. I feel like she doesn't particularly mind but she plays wizard for a little bit before realising that she doesn't really like the magic stuff? Goes for monk and it's a lot simpler and more fun

More of an observer but is helpful when it comes to investigating areas and carries like EVERY item possible: potions, magical items, 20 rocks for some reason. Bag of holding girlie (like how she holds that trauma she has in real li—)

Has THE coolest weapons. Because her character can't rely on magic she's constantly upgrading or getting new weapons and her unique monk abilities come in handy again when exploring!!!

Totally makes fun of Miles (endearingly!) And maybe points out a plot hole in his backstory and he wants to curl up into a ball and disappear for a good minute (he rethinks his entire character for 2 nights straight)

Has an NPC she would protect with her LIFE. Barmaid at the inn? Anything for you sweetums 😁😁😁 *trips over and dies*

That's all given if they have an actually functional game... It takes them probably about like a year to finish a one-shot adventure

But it is SO worth the memories (albeit very chaotic memories.) Even when they're arguing over a roll (usually Hobie's) or someone's character has literally died they make it work through the power of friendship...! And a broken table

These guys are crazy I love them

"Embrace the chaos is the mood for tonight's session. AKA you guys are screwed... Roll initiative."

"What the hell?!"

"Don't swear in front of the kid!"

Jargon!

Campaign: A world containing one set of characters where different adventures take place

Dungeon Master / DM: The person who creates the story and runs the game

Skill check: Rolling a die to see if you've passed or failed a certain skill when performing an action (for example charisma when trying to persuade somebody)

Crit: Critical hit. When you roll a 20 on a 20-sided die. You deal loads of damage in a fight basically.

NPC: Non-playable character. Any characters who aren't the players within the universe. Controlled by the DM.

Initiative: The roll you have to make before a fight to decide the order of turns. "Roll initiative" means "you guys are in a fight now!!!! lmao!!!!"

🕸️🕷️💫

thank you for reading my insane midnight rant LMAOOO

i haven't played d&d in like 2 years so apologies if anything is diabolically wrong here 💀would love to hear your thoughts!

reblogs appreciated <3 read the rest of my atsv stuff here!

[agentmurtsegway]

the 118+ playing dnd as decided by me and my friend cause the only shit on both of our minds rn are 911 and dnd :

Bobby: dm

Buck: bard but does so much rogue shit that everyone keeps begging him to multiclass but he refuses to

Eddie: paladin

Chim: bard/cleric multiclass

Hen: cleric

Chris: wizard

Athena: fighter/druid multiclass

Karen: artificer, not a regular player but pops in whenever she can

Maddie: barbarian

[tragedy-peanut-gallery]

Daeron ii’s family playing D&D cause I’m very bored and have too much time on my hands

(These are my silly hours so I wanted to write something a little whimsical that probably breaks canon. Idc ☺️💖)

Daeron: The Dm, uses all the old school dice and handbooks from when he and Elaena played as kids. All their preset character sheets got burned by Baelor so he spends way too much time helping everyone with their characters. Gets a little too railroad-y sometimes but makes up for it with a good story and funny voices

Myriah: Doesn’t play, but sometimes checks in to ask the kids if they “won” yet. Will occasionally do the voice of a patron or deity if she gets pestered enough

Baelor: Human oath of vengeance paladin 10000000%. Originally chose the class because he thought smite was cool but kept accidentally breaking his oath even if he was technically doing something good. He’s kinda bad at roleplaying but tries to steer everyone to make the right decisions

Aerys: High elf divination wizard. Probably spent two hours hogging all the source books in order to optimize his character to be the best spellcaster there ever was. Loves asking about every minute detail in any new room which annoys everyone- but! On the bright side, he is the best at solving every puzzle the party faces

Rhaegel: Dragonborn drakewarden ranger. Only made the character so he could be a dragon with a dragon friend, but doesn’t really roleplay or keep track of combat. Spends most of the games stacking everyone’s dice into towers, but starts paying attention when he’s finally allowed to fly his drake friend around

Maekar: Goliath beserker barbarian. When he was asked what sort of character he wanted to play he just said he “wanted to hit things really hard”. Doesn’t pay attention to roleplay at all but becomes an absolute beast in combat, the group’s master strategizer at age 6. Has probably accidentally killed a party member once (*cough* Baelor *cough*)

Daenerys: Half elf light domain cleric. Has a 10 page backstory written about her character and will take any opportunity to talk about it. Claims to prefer roleplaying and just being support but has probably dealt the most amount of damage in the party so far and has a consistent pattern of advocating for fights because it levels them up faster

+Bonus!

Shiera: Tiefling college of spirits bard. Originally wanted to play warlock but was mad about the limited spell slots so saves her evil backstory for another character. Most comitted roleplayer at the table, manages to talk the party’s way out of most of the fights Maekar and Daenerys gets them into, even though she’s like- 5, so most of her convincing ends up being “no, that’s mean >:(“

Brynden: Tiefling arcane trickster rogue. Unironically the edgiest character to be made, consistently brooding in the corner of every tavern they go into. Everyone thinks he might be a potential traitor but ends up being the biggest ride or die in the party and probably dramatically sacrifices himself to save them (Daeron writes him as actually escaping because he felt bad lol)

Daemon: Fallen aasimar oathbreaker paladin. Gives Daeron a minor aneurism when he asks if he can betray the party at some point. Otherwise a really well rounded character who only dabbles in the edginess, and puts up with everyone’s shenanigans enough to justify his ascension as the game’s bbeg

Aegor: Hates D&D. Banned from the table for calling everyone a bunch of nerds

[fireinthefireproofvault]

Who Would Each M*A*S*H Character Play in DnD?

Got inspired by my mutual @spacemanxpaninis & after much discussion here’s our M*A*S*H version of her HH post 😌

Hawkeye chooses a Tiefling character and plays the ‘what, just because I look like this?’ card anytime he gets blamed for things. Makes a bard partially so Trapper doesn’t have to and partially because he’s against unnecessary killing. In fact, he loves the roleplaying so much and is only in favor of killing really bad NPCs, so he gets mad if people (Frank) try to play the mission-driven murder hobo. Even mischief like personal sidequests to seduce NPCs often end up benefiting the party with information or rewards, so they can’t be too mad at him, especially when he plays amazing support as a mostly nonviolent character.

Trapper leaves the campaign early, but man was he good at roleplaying. The DM has to stop him from actually reenacting things in real life especially if they’re indecent. Almost refuses to call Hawkeye’s character by his name, just ‘handsome devil’ variations (Klink wants what they have fr). His character was an elf rogue; he was almost a bard but he wanted to be able to do more than support, i.e. become the main character if he wanted. His character was great with female and kid NPCs alike, almost all of them liking him unless they were stern authority types, especially because he was good at finding legitimate ways around them,

Ignoring the pressure to fill Trapper’s shoes, BJ plays the character he wants to play, an air genasi former sailor named Blow Jibhandler. He knows. Of course he knows. Despite his character’s name and background, Blow has a wife and child back home and his main motivation is defending his wife’s honor. Raves a lot about how his daughter inherited his powers and is already creating storms at such a young age. Is immediately thick as thieves with Hawkeye’s bard, claiming he remembers him from some old tavern by the sea and helping him write songs and vicious mockery insults.

Margaret decides she wants to let loose, so she goes with barbarian, but she doesn’t feel that’s any reason to sacrifice beauty or brains, making the character a very well-read elf whose ways got her kicked out of being a footsoldier and has her hating being a cog in some old man’s machine. Uses her character’s frustration at the idiots surrounding her and that same feeling from real life as motivation for her battle rage. That and sexism, too. Anytime an NPC is sexist to her they only make her more powerful. Pushes Frank out of the way to just become the tank herself if he won’t do it.

Frank also leaves early. Doesn’t like how infrequently his character gets the spotlight or gets teased by Hawkeye’s character. Wants to be a traditional hero, so he goes for a human paladin but never takes the chance to be the tank unless the others make him. Makes the generic white guy warrior with dead wife backstory.

Charles goes for a wizard upon learning they’re the most traditionally educated, flaunting fake wizard school credentials any chance he can get, especially if he thinks it’ll get him in places (it doesn’t always). The phrase ‘otherworldly grace’ is all it takes for him to choose an elf even though the others complain they’ve got elves already. For a guy who acted like roleplay was beneath him, he’s gotten so interested in not only his fake credentials but also being able to step in with the perfect spell at any given time. Also bantering in character with Hawkeye and BJ’s characters.

Radar wants a familiar so bad, choosing druid for a chance at having animal friends. They’re versatile, too. As far as race goes he’s content “just being a regular human” especially when Hawkeye and BJ tease him about playing a halfling. His character in particular somehow passes every single perception and investigation check. He doesn’t like fighting so most of his moves in combat are holding enemies down, healing the others, or just letting his familiar do it as long as it’ll be safe. It’s technically not canon but they let him make it be a bunny rabbit.

Klinger decides his bard cross-dresses too as a form of protest for how his people are treated, having chosen a goblin so he can be shrewd and do the voice. He loves doing voices best and will absolutely demonstrate dance moves his character does. The type of bard that seduces NPCs of any gender to kill them, but not without the satisfaction of revealing to male ones that he was a dude the whole time. His little goblin is really loving and loyal to all the other characters and really isn’t afraid to stick out his neck for them.

Father Mulcahy obviously chooses cleric, commenting on both the obvious choice and the irony of being a healer amidst all the doctors and nurses. An Aasimar seems too on-the-nose and he wants his character to be down-to earth, so he sticks with a human who’s trying, and usually failing, to reign everyone else in. Plays a very combat-heavy cleric that absolutely bashes in the faces of evildoers who don’t heed his message, causing some of the other players to tease the Father that ‘thou shalt not kill’ and all. The good cleric is an uncle, so he’s also great with child NPCs, even if he’s awkward around women.

Nurse Kellye has a sense of humor, so her ranger is a halfling from a far-off island who’s an expert with both her twin swords and a bow and arrows. Loves both rushing in and quickly picking off enemies, so a joke about ‘sic-ing Kellye on ‘em’ emerges. Just like Margaret’s character, she doesn’t take any bullshit from NPCs, especially male ones.

Colonel Potter, of course, is the DM and he spends most of his time done with all the players’ utter horse hockey.

[e-vasong]

I just had to post this Christmas gift that I had commissioned for some friends of one of my current DND games, Spell Slayer! The characters, from left to right, are Nell (half-elf fighter/paladin, played by me), Val (human wizard, player not on tumblr), Lox (changeling cleric, the wonderful @cottontonic), Mirrhi (an aasimar bard NPC crafted by our lovely DM, @thecalicodragon), and Tilly (our mischievous wererat rogue, played by the great @tomateosoup).

Art by the amazing @waalkr, who I cannot recommend enough! They were such a delight to work with, and really did a wonderful job making these characters come to life!

[miintsprigz]

Anybody out there a big fan of Team Fortress 2 and Dungeons and Dragons or am I the last of my kind/j

ANYWAYS I am assigning TF2 classes D&D classes because I can and it’s fun, I talked these over with the same friend that helped me with artist Y/N

Scout is a Monk because…c’mon, high dexterity.

Engineer is an Artificer because of course. Alternatively, could be a Wizard.

Medic is an easy Cleric, but he ain’t gonna be one of the sissy subclasses (I affectionately joke, I am that sissy, that sissy is me).

Demo could definitely be a Warlock, reading a book, losing your eyeball to it and then that eyeball becomes Sentient?! That’s some Warlock nonsense if I’ve ever seen it.

Soldier is a Paladin because FOR AMERICAAAAAAAA

Heavy is a Barbarian only because he hits hard and is tanky, he is NOT stupid and Barbarians don’t have to be either. Stats be darned, I’ve played intelligent Barbarians and Heavy is one.

Spy is a Rogue, that’s pretty clear, although honestly he does give me some Bard vibes (because uh…Yo Mama). To me, that suggests he’d make a good Swashbuckler Rogue.

Pyro could be a Sorcerer because uh…fireball. Also yay crazy magic!

Sniper was tricky, but I chose Ranger because 1.) Spy is too Rogue to be anything else, and 2.) HUNTER’S MARK IS RIGHT THERE.

I may draw these

[buxomgirlie]

Okay so basically, you’re working at your tavern. It’s a rainy night. A group of interesting folks walk in. One of them is a tall, strong female knight. Very flirtatious and smoothtalking. A masked male warlock is with her and you occasionally see them exchanging glances, often with her smirking to him or whispering things. There are also a muscular monk dude, some short petite elf girls (one a flashily dressed bard jester and the other a hooded rogue), a Dragonborn Barbarian, and a very busty wizard lady with beautiful magenta-reddish hair and a low cut, fur-lined dress. They’re all off doing their own thing, drinking and conversing elsewhere. The knight manages to seduce you quite well and you escort her to your bedchambers. She lifts you by your legs, pinning you against the wall while devouring your pussy. Then she throws you on the bed, strips off all of her armor and clothing and resumes eating you out. After you scream in pleasure she moves up to suck on your breasts, kisses them, then says “it’s my turn”. She then rides your face until she cums into your mouth.

Her warlock friend has just walked into the room. She smirks at him, panting and giggling, with her pussy still being licked by you. She tells him “take it off…all of it.” He gets naked but keeps the mask on and climbs onto the bed “hope you don’t mind my friend joining us…” you murmur “mmhm!” And he moves closer to you and the knight on his knees. His balls are brushing up against your head as he pulls up his mask. He and the knight make out on top of you. The knight strokes the warlock’s cock while kissing him, and then he starts to suck on her breasts. She kisses him on the lips one more time, then holds him close for a hug, resting her head over his shoulder for comfort. She then pushes him off, climbs off of your mouth and says “I’m good for now. Have some fun with her :)”.

The warlock pulls his mask back over his face and gently plays with your hair and your breasts, giving you small affectionate kisses on the cheeks and lips. He then moves off the bed, standing up and pulling your legs around so his cock is positioned in front of your pussy. He brushes his cock against it playfully before slowly pushing it in, gently asking you if this is alright. After receiving confirmation, his thrusts speed up slightly and become more powerful. You hear him say some bizarre spell or incantation, and then suddenly 2 more penises manifest out of thin air, glowing, translucent, purple cocks. He looks into your eyes and asks “do you want this?” You realize what he means and whimper “…gods yes…please…”. The purple glowing magic cocks then fly over into your mouth and your ass, leading to a magical triple penetration.

Things are getting VERY intense, as you can imagine. Something has been going on while you and the warlock were distracted, though. You see the two elf ladies crawling towards you on the bed, completely naked. One with small breasts, and the other with round, swaying ones. One of them states “awww….you thought you could have some fun without us?” While smirking. She then reaches her hand over to play with your hair and rub your cheek affectionately. You look around and see the monk removing his clothing, exposing a very impressive muscular chest and a rather huge cock. The Dragonborn Barbarian starts doing the same. The Wizard girl’s dress drops to the ground, showing her gorgeous figure. Huge breasts, a massive ass, and beautifully curvy thighs. She kneels down and starts licking the monk’s thick cock while making eye contact with you. In addition, the knight from earlier has come back. She slaps the monk on his ass and playfully strokes the wizard’s red hair, then lets out a small chuckle. She says, “I see you’ve taken a liking to my dear friend. Mind if the others join in?”

Oh my fucking god....😵‍💫