#my guess would be that coma ending was also a way to see if people were happy with him being out of the picture

[hyunfilms]

blue side of the sky (lmh) | five.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: waking up after 3 months with no recollection of your past, your friends do what they can to help you remember. except, they omit an important piece to the puzzle - afraid you would remember the heartbreak and hurt all over again.

—pairing: lee know x f. reader

—genre: (18+) exes to lovers, bestfriends to lovers au | fluff, angst, (eventual) smut

—word count: 5.3k

—chapter warning: cussing, jisung being his worried and overprotective self, small argument between minho & jisung, another deep look into minho's feelings about everything, minho dance session which should be a warning itself, smut but not super descriptive smut (implied oral - m. receiving, doggy style), also a look into minho and kat, flashback scene at the end highlighting a core, painful moment for minho, crying, oc is in a coma during flashback

"Hi." You answer the phone call coming in as you make your way to your first pottery class.

"Cielo! Are you at class now?" You chuckle.

"About to be."

"You didn't answer my text." You can hear the pout through Jisung's tone.

"Sorry, pachi. I was gonna get to it as soon as I got inside the store. What's up?"

"I asked if you found anything to wear yet. For Yuna's?"

"Oh, no."

"Wanna go look after class? I'll meet you."

"I'm, um—" You pause a bit as you enter the store and greet the boy re-stocking items at the front.

"You're.. what?"

"I'm actually hanging out with San afterwards. He said he'd go with me to check out some dresses."

"You're.. hanging out with San?"

"Yes?" You let out a small sigh due to the unexpected response from your bestfriend. You felt nervous, and even more scared. Maybe you shouldn't have agreed to hang out with San. "Pachi, you told me to go for it. Should I just cancel and go with you—"

"No, no. I know I said that. I'm sorry, cielo. I didn't mean it in a bad way. I'm glad you're hanging out with him and stuff! Seriously. I just didn't expect that day to be today."

"I don't exactly have much time to find a dress."

"Yeah, I know. You'll find something and you'll look great in it, though! Is he gonna meet you after class?"

"Mhm."

"Okay, good. Well, enjoy yourself, okay? Don't think too much and just go with the flow."

"I know, I know."

"Well wait, let me back track." Jisung lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry. Are you ready to hang out with him? I hope I didn't pressure you too much."

"No it's not that. I think I'm ready. I mean, it's casual and super harmless, right?"

"Of course. He seems cool. But if he does try anything that you aren't ready for, just call me."

"I'll be fine. Thanks, Ji."

"Alright. Send pics of what you find!"

"I will." Your bottom lip pokes out as you end the call and tuck your phone back into your bag. This morning, you felt your confidence growing. You had been confident enough to agree to a hang out with San, even though he reassured you that there was no pressure. But the call with Jisung had you second-guessing everything.

Were you really ready for this?

You know Jisung meant no harm behind anything he said, but it was hard for you to not overthink. The only thing getting you by is the reminder that you have to experience these things to continue learning and settling back into the world; to continue living.

You couldn't be stuck in one place forever.

"Are you okay, miss?" You look over to your right and see the same boy from the front stocking up some of the shelves near the pottery classroom. You hadn't realized you zoned out and stopped in your tracks before entering the room.

"Oh. Yeah, I am." You chuckle shyly. "Sorry. Was lost in thought."

"No worries, just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Thank you." You give him a small smile before finally entering the classroom. It's only supposed to be for 6 people, and you only see one other person already sitting at a wheel. You take the seat opposite from her, giving her a small smile when she glances up to look at you. She returns the smile, but her attention shifts back to her phone.

It doesn't take long before the rest of the wheels are filled and class is starting. You feel incredibly shy, but everyone in your class seems to be down to earth and just as eager to get their hands dirty. At first, you feel shy. You're barely working on the clay as much as the others are, but you remind yourself that you work at your own pace. When it's time to throw, it's a bit of a struggle before you finally find your own rhythm; receiving small praises from your instructor as she comes to your aid every now and then.

You're making a basic pot. Something to start off with, something easy.

It's fun.

You're happy you decided to move forward with class, paying some money for a membership to use the classroom during open hours. Class takes an hour and a half today, but the classroom remains open for anyone who is interested in doing another piece before the kiln gets loaded in a class or two. You wish you could, but as soon as you let your pot sit on the rack to completely dry, you catch wind of San walking around nearby aisles. He sees you looking over and he waves, a huge smile plastered on his face while you continue to clean up your space. When you've finally gotten through the last items and tidied up, you quickly wash your hands and grab your things to meet San in the store.

"Hey!" He waves enthusiastically. "How was class?" He digs his hands into his pocket while he waits for your response.

"It was good! Fun to get back into it." San nods.

"I'm glad. It's always satisfying to get back into things you've enjoyed." He nods towards the entrance. "It's beautiful outside. Ready to shop for dresses? You can tell me more about class while we walk."

"Sure." You chuckle. "What have you been up to today?"

"Well, I started off my day super early. Went to the gym before work. Got lots of things done. Now I'm here." He gives you a small smile. Over the course of texting San, you find out a few key details about him:

One, he has a younger sister and a cat that he adores. He's very family-oriented and takes everything family-related very seriously. He met JJ and their friend group in college, and they've stayed close ever since then. He also adores his friends to bits; it's quite cute. He says their personalities are all different, but they mesh so well.

Two, he was the definition of someone who took every single opportunity [especially in college] and ran with it. He aced his classes, participated in campus-wide activities and student government, volunteered, took internship after internship— that being what lead him to a huge opportunity overseas right after graduation to learn side by side from a principal architect. Years of doing so led him to a full-time position with their office back here at home.

Three, he is handsome, and he is incredibly sweet. He's laid back and caring; it's very easy to see why he gets along with people.

It's easy to talk to him.

So easy, that time flies by when you're with him. After a long, ongoing conversation about how the days have been, you've already popped into a few shops; slowly pulling hangers apart from each other to get a better view of the dresses— no particular dress catching your eyes just yet.

You eventually do find two dresses in the back of a new store you popped into that look fantastic on the mannequin, however, you feel like it'll be a different story when you try it on. Jisung says the wedding is at a hotel near the oceanside two hours away. The colors are hues of sage, green, browns and pale golds, and you're already excited to see how everything will turn out.

One dress is a taupe satin dress with a high slit, spaghetti straps and a cowl neck-line. The other is a sage satin dress with an asymmetrical high slit. They're almost similar in style— you're just not sure which color [or fit] would look better on you. San can tell you're unsure as you look at both dresses side by side, hands trailing down the fabric.

"Those are really pretty. You should try them on. You'll look great in either of those." San smiles.

"They're not too.. simple?" San shrugs.

"No. I think they're perfect for the wedding." You give him a small smile and nod, walking off to dressing room. San finds a little cushion to sit and wait on, scrolling through his phone while he patiently waits for you to be ready. He's not expecting you to show him the dresses, and quite frankly, he hopes he didn't come off that way. He does believe you'll look good in whatever option you choose, and his opinion doesn't matter much at the end of the day— it's truly whatever you feel good and comfortable in. Of course, San thinks you're gorgeous. He really couldn't help himself that day he walked into the café and saw you. Of course, his end goal would be to take you on a date and see where thing goes. But, the thing about San is that he knows about your accident. He knows the overall gist of things that have happened, but he doesn't know the fine details like your friends or JJ might know. It's not his business anyway, and he'd rather not go back to that moment in your life. So, he doesn't ask. He'll let you open up to him about it once [and if] you're ready. But, he knows. And he knows this isn't a priority for you right now, which is completely understandable.

If things happen, things happen. If it takes time, it takes time. Until then, he will continue to get to know you and be a friend.

"San?" San is pulled out of his thoughts when he hears you softly call his name behind the dressing room door.

"Yeah? You okay?"

"Yeah, I just.. is it okay if I show you the first dress?"

"Of course, whatever you're comfortable with, Y/N."

"I just need you to see them and give me your honest opinion, okay?"

"Always." He hears the door handle jiggle before you swing the door open. You've tried on the taupe dress and you shyly come forward, hands fidgeting with the fabric of the dress. San sits up a bit as his eyes light up, nodding in acknowledgement with a small smile. "That color looks great on you."

"Is the dress okay? It feels a little too much." You fiddle with your fingers. "I feel like I can't comfortably move with how high this slit goes."

"The angle too, hm?" He nods. "It looks great, but if you're not comfortable, then maybe the next dress will feel better?" You nod.

"Yeah, maybe."

"It's fine Y/N, don't force yourself if you aren't 100% on it." You give him a small smile before walking back into the dressing room to try on the other dress. You also aren't expecting much with this dress, but as soon as you slip it on, you smile at yourself in the mirror and take it in for a moment.

It feels perfect.

The slit is also pretty high, but it's not asymmetrical and at a weird angle so you can still move around comfortably. It fits nicely on your body, your figure, and the fabric isn't too heavy. Taupe color is beautiful under the light, and it's easy to pair.

"I really like this one." You say softly and San lets out a small chuckle.

"That's good. I'm glad you do." He watches as you walk out and nods in agreement when he sees how much more relaxed you look in the dress. "You look beautiful. That dress is the one!" You shyly chuckle at him.

"Yeah, I think it is, too."

"Are you set on it, or do you still wanna look some more?"

"No, I'm pretty set on this." San stands with a smile.

"Nice, it's perfect. We can go eat somewhere after, if you'd like?"

"Oh yes, please. I'm starving. I'm sorry I dragged you along on this." You say as you shut the door and start to get changed.

"No, don't apologize. I meant it when I said I didn't mind. I'm happy to accompany you." San scratches at his temple and nervously laughs. "I honestly thought we'd take much longer, so I'm a little relieved we can eat now." You laugh and gather your things, handing the other dress to the staff member before walking to the cashier.

Afterwards, San takes you to a bbq spot out of the central downtown area, roughly a 15 minute drive out. You get seated pretty quickly even though the restaurant is becoming packed by the minute. It's not too loud, but it is bustling; with busy workers and people engaging in fun conversation over beer and soju. In the middle of grilling the meat and telling you his Spain experience, you get a call from Jisung— the constant vibration on the table pulling you away from San's story.

"Sorry. It's Jisung." San chuckles and shakes his head, placing a few pieces of samgyeopsal onto your plate.

"No, please. Go for it." You give him a small apologetic smile before picking up the call. Jisung is at home, bored out of his mind and a bit worried. He knew he needed to give you time to do your thing, but as dinner time was approaching, he couldn't help but check in. He just needed to know that you were okay and at least enjoying yourself.

"Pachi."

"Hi, sorry." He says. "I didn't hear from you for awhile so I just wanted to call." You chuckle a bit.

"I'm okay."

"Yeah? That's good to hear." He furrows his brows at the background noise. "It's kinda.. loud? Where are you?"

"Eating with San."

"Oh, okay. Did you find a dress?"

"Sure did. Oops, I'll send pictures to you after." You did remember to snap a few photos of the dresses you tried on earlier.

"No worries. It's not too crazy there, right?"

"No. I'll be okay. We'll be done soon."

"Okay. Please text me when you get home."

"I will."

"Love you."

"Love you too." You softly set the phone down and look at San. "I really am sorry about him."

"No, it's okay." San shrugs. "I get it. He's your bestfriend and he cares about you alot."

"Too much sometimes." You tease, though you try to hint at the fact that you are very grateful for Jisung no matter what.

Meanwhile, Jisung finds himself getting hungrier by the minute, finalizing his delivery order that shouldn't arrive too long from now. He's home alone while his roommates are all out, so he tries to pick up where he left off in God of War: Ragnarok to make time fly by. The delivery food actually comes a half hour later, with Jisung shutting off the game before darting down the stairs to grab his food. Just as he's bringing it in, he sees Minho pull up and park— leaving the door slightly ajar for when he walks in.

"Yo." Jisung quickly looks over his shoulder as he continues to unbox his delivery food, quickly greeting Minho as he walks into the kitchen. "Surprised you're home early."

"Surprised you're home since you're usually taking all the food at Y/N's and Uncle Adrian's."

"That's not true at all and you know it." Jisung looks at Minho while he chuckles at him and grabs a glass for some water. "Seriously, why are you home early?"

"I just wanted to come home early and not do something for once. Catch up on sleep. Be lazy."

"We can play, if you want?"

"Eh." Minho shrugs after drinking some water. "Maybe later."

"I'm also surprised—" Jisung shakes his head. "Nevermind."

"Say it."

"No, you'll kill me and Y/N isn't around to save me."

"What, she's still in class?" Minho asks with a chuckle, confused at how long your pottery class actually was.

"No, she's out shopping for a dress."

"Alone? Shouldn't someone be with her if she's gonna be out for a bit?"

"Someone is with her." Jisung mumbles as he pours some of his soup appetizer into a bowl.

"And it's not you?" Jisung shakes his head. "Chan?" Jisung shakes his head again. "Seungmin? Why on earth would you leave her with Seungmin, though?"

"I didn't leave her with Seungmin. I didn't leave her anywhere, she just had other plans." Jisung grabs his food and tries to head up to his room. Which, he successfully does, but Minho is following closely behind. "Gonna watch some streams since you don't wanna play, see ya—" Minho kicks his foot out to stop his door from closing.

"Why are you acting so weird?" Minho nods at him and furrows his brows. "You're the one who told me to stop being weird when it comes to Y/N, you little hypocrite."

"I'm not being weird!"

"You are!"

"She's in good hands, alright? It's fine."

"She's with San, isn't she?"

"I never even said anything. "

"See, you're being fucking weird for no reason."

"Well, I don't know? It's kinda weird to tell you!"

"This was your idea in the first place, remember?" Minho sighs and crosses his arms. "I just wanted to know if she was okay. Besides, how do you know if she's in good hands with San? He doesn't even know anything about her like that."

"You really think JJ wouldn't have said anything to him?"

"I don't think so?"

"He's one of JJ's really good friends, I think he might know some portion of it."

"Then, he's not any better than you and I, is he?" Minho cocks his head to the side and looks at him.

"Please don't do that." Jisung sighs. "She's fine, okay? He seems cool. I think we can give him a little more than that."

"What's your plan behind this one?"

"Don't even say it like that, dude. For real." Jisung's brow is slightly furrowed, though this is something he fully expects from Minho. "I just thought it'd be cool for her to hang out with other people too. It doesn't hurt."

"Hm." Minho hums as he turns on his heel and walks towards his room.

"Where are you going?"

"Change of plans. Gonna head to the studio and work on some stuff."

"Wait, you're not upset, are you?" Jisung pouts a bit. He really didn't mean to make Minho upset even though he knows you're still a very sensitive subject to him. Plus, Jisung doesn't want this to spiral out of control. He'll give you some time, but he will tell you everything. He will.

"Upset?" Minho slings his bag over his shoulder and gives him a tiny pursed smile. "No. Can't be." There's a drip of sarcasm in his tone because of course he can't be. There's so many truths, feelings, opinions, clinging onto that statement alone. He's trying to convince himself that he can't be, but also, he knows this is the response he'd immediately get from everyone around him. And he hates that.

Because no matter what, they will never understand you two. They will never understand the thoughts, the feelings, that occupy his mind day in and day out— especially since the accident happened.

He feels.

No one seems to know that.

But to simply answer Jisung's question, yes. He is upset. He really hopes you're okay and that San is taking care of you. It's the least he can fucking do after charming you the way he did. He's upset because of many other things, he's upset because he finds himself dwelling on the past much longer than he needs to. He finds himself sinking into all the 'what if's' — finding it hard to focus on his present, to look forward to his future.

He's constantly sinking, with nothing in reach.

He heads to the studio just like he tells Jisung, but he doesn't have class. There's nothing scheduled at the studio, so there shouldn't be anyone around.

It's fine.

That's what he needs right now, anyway. Space to do his own thing, space to dance out all the frustrations. Space to shake off all this shit.

When he gets to the studio, he parks his car and unlocks the door with his own key; tossing his bag off to the side as he steps into the room. He instantly connects his phone to the speakers, blasting his more upbeat playlist throughout the room. He stretches as the mirrors vibrate to the beat of the song currently playing, lights dim and barely illuminating the space.

He lets everything go.

He just needs to, momentarily.

He lets the vibration sink through his body, letting it flow through in waves— just like with everything that's been happening. It's the only way he's been able to process. He has some choreography he needs to finish up before next class but that's the last thing on his mind right now.

The first wave, Minho felt numb. He couldn't believe how everything happened so quickly. You were just in front of him— only to be snatched away hours later. He wasn't sure what to do, how to gain power to change time, didn't know what life would be like with you. It was all too much to process knowing you were almost taken from him completely.

The second wave, Minho was angry, upset, frustrated; all the time. He had no outlet, and as fucked up as it sounds, this is how he brought Kat closer. He felt empty, he felt angry with himself, he felt like he needed some validation. Something to tell him he wasn't entirely at fault, that he was still a person who could be needed, wanted; that he wasn't a bad person although he did need to take ownership for some things at some point.

The third wave that he's currently riding, Minho has nothing else to give. Nothing else to process. He feels useless, powerless— he can't change time or bring anything back. There is simply nothing there and he doesn't know how to work with that in order to move forward. What can he change, how can he do better, when no one believes he can change and do better for you? No one wants to give him that. And quite frankly, they're slowly convincing him that he can't even give himself that.

Maybe it'll go back to the first wave and he'll go back to being numb. But Minho doesn't know what's worse— being numb because it's too much to process, or being numb because there is nothing else to process; nothing else to change, nothing to hang onto.

He doesn't know if he'll ever bounce back from this.

Minho is so into his thoughts as he dances without a strict choreo in mind, sweat dripping down his face as he takes a moment to catch his breath. He sits with his back against the mirror, regulating his breathing after consistently moving his body. He takes a quick sip of water, eyes darting to his phone lighting up on the counter. The vibration is cutting through the music, making Minho groan in annoyance at the interruption.

kat: roommates are gone

kat: lonely af

kat: can you come over? )):

He thinks about this, and to be honest, he still feels pretty shitty. It's a terrible excuse, but who else can he run to right now? Kat makes him feel good. Kat makes him feel better, at least, enough to push him through in the meantime.

minho: be over in a bit. at the studio.

Kat, however, will never be you. She temporarily fills the void, but she will never be you.

From before, from now.

kat: can u stop by for some food?

minho: i'm only coming by for a bit. i have to be up early tomorrow.

kat: yeah ofc whats new

Minho rolls his eyes as he sets his phone aside and continues to dance around the empty studio for a bit until he feels somewhat content. He drags his duffle bag to the separate staff locker room, quickly using the shower before changing into a fresh pair of sweats and a hoodie. He ruffles his damp hair a bit as he walks out into the fresh night air, tossing his bag into the trunk before making his journey to Kat's apartment.

At this point, he's not entirely in the mood to see her. But, he's here just like he says— and he only plans to stay for a quick minute before he's rushing home.

Just like he says.

"Oh, you really didn't stop by for food." Kat snickers a bit before stepping aside to let him in.

"Why would I when I said no?" Minho confusingly chuckles a bit. "Told you I was only coming for a bit. I'm beat."

"Uh huh." She says. "I missed you." She pouts. "I barely heard from you today." He watches her as she wraps her arms around his neck, kissing him on the lips even though he barely returns the effort.

"I was busy."

"You could at least tell me that." She whines as she laces her hand with his.

"Sorry." Is all he can say even though he doesn't really mean it. She is not you; from before, from now. "I'll let you know next time." He follows up and uses it as leverage to kiss her again. "I'm here now, aren't I?" He says in between kisses, sinking into her touch and her lips when she lets out soft moans against him.

This is right where he needs her to be. This is the release he needs, the temporary void he needs filled.

She knows what this is, for the most part. She knows Minho could never be serious with her, though she tries. Hoping one day, he will. Hoping one day, he'll finally move past you and give her a shot.

But, he won't. He never will. And if the accident taught him one thing, it's the fact that he will never, ever give you up again.

She takes the lead and rushes him to the room, clothes flying in all directions until they're decorating the floor. She pushes him onto the bed, legs dangling off the edge while she crouches down and wraps her lips around his length. He hisses a bit, fingers laced in her hair as he pushes her down more, and more.

More;

'Till she takes all of him.

He can't deny that it feels amazing, but he doesn't wanna leave it at that. He's not always a taker, only if Kat reassures that she wants to please him and him only. So, before he feels himself reaching his peak, Minho gently tugs her head off— praising her as he gets her on all fours. He's not wasting any time, no. He enters her and bottoms out quick, finding the perfect rhythm in no time.

He needs to get out.

He doesn't necessarily take his time as much as Kat wants him to. She's screaming his name like a mantra, head pushed against her pillow while Minho continues to do his work behind her. It doesn't take long before she's like putty in his hands and he's stupidly pulling out to spill his seed all over her ass, back.

He needs to get out. Now.

So, he comes back down from his high, regulates his breathing and hops off her bed. He's quickly throwing his clothes back on while Kat is confusingly doing the same. She's asking him why he's been doing this lately, and he doesn't really know how to explain to her that he's just feeling more and more disconnected to this whole thing— to her. She's still continuing though; arms crossed tightly against her chest as she follows Minho out to the door, tears threatening to spill over her bottom lid. He's not focused on her, to be honest, and he's exhausted. Not much is registering for him besides his lazy 'I'm sorry's' and 'I'll spend more time with you the next time I'm over.' But the one thing that does snap him out of everything is when Kat asks—

"It's because of Y/N isn't it?" He stops in his tracks right as he's about to swing the door open and turns over his shoulder to glare at her. "Ever since she woke up—"

"Don't." He says sternly. "You don't get to do that." His jaw clenches. "Do me a favor and don't bring Y/N up again." He swings the door and slams it shut, suddenly feeling emptier than he did before he got here.

Maybe this wave would be the hardest.

☁︎ FLASHBACK | HOSPITAL

"Are you going to come with us to the hospital to visit Y/N tomorrow?" Minho shakes his head at Seungmin.

"Probably not. You guys can go without me." He says softly as he scribbles some notes into his notepad for the small, upcoming café renovations.

"You sure?" Seungmin softly asks and all Minho can do is nod without meeting his eyes. Seungmin lets out a soft sigh before he grabs his keys sitting on the dining room table. "Gotta head back into the office really quickly to drop something off. See you later?"

"Yeah." Is all Minho says, still avoiding contact until Seungmin is out of the door. He lets out a deep sigh, dropping his pen onto the notepad.

He doesn't even remember what he needed to write.

He checks the time on his watch, hand close to hitting 4 o'clock. He groans to himself, shutting his notebook before grabbing his own keys from the other end of the kitchen table.

He hopes he doesn't regret this.

Though, he kinda does when he slaps the visitor tag on his sweater and proceeds to your room. Then, it grows when he stands at your doorway and sees you lying perfectly still on your bed. He digs his hands into his pockets and remains there for a moment, afraid to move closer, yet his feet aren't taking him away from your room. He musters up the courage about a min later, slowly walking towards your bed side.

Even through all the pain and hurt you've been through, you still looked so, so angelic.

"Hey." He says, close to a whisper— voice slightly cracking because he doesn't know what he's feeling right now as he looks at you. Is he angry at himself for coming here when things were't changing anytime soon? Is he angry he could've done better? Is he angry for the way the universe is playing such a sick fucking joke on him right now?

Because you're in reach and out of reach at the same time.

Minho gains more courage to pull his chair closer to your bedside so that he doesn't have to lean too far to get a good look at you. The only sounds filling the room are the beeping machines and the people passing in the hallway outside.

"Y/N." He calls your name as he gently brushes the hair back and away from your face. "Hope you're doing okay." He feels so stupid. Why would he say that? His thumb caresses your cheek before it slides down to your hand. It isn't too cold, but the warmth in your body has subsided.

The warmth in your body is fighting to stay.

"I-I—" He pauses to lick his lips. "I miss you." No response. "God, I miss you." He feels the tears welling up and his head drops. He holds your hand tightly and squeezes, hoping he can feel anything on your end.

But, nothing.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers just as he's remembering every detail about you, the moments he's shared with you, the feelings, your touch—

The way you smile, the way you laugh.

The way you always kiss his fingers and look at him in pure adoration.

The way you bring the sun and blue skies into every room.

"I fucked up and I'm so, so sorry." He continues to whisper as he cries harder, head falling near your lap as he continues hold your hand. "I'm so sorry." He repeats.

He should've kept his word.

He should've done better.

He should've protected you.

"I should've done better. I shouldn't have let you go, and I'll never forgive myself for being so fucking stupid." He looks up at you through his teary eyes before returning his head back near your lap. "I get it. I would never want you to be in pain. Or, to hurt. All I want is for you to be okay. But, if you can at least hear me right now—" He pauses as his crying intensifies. "Please don't give up on me. I know I fucked up and I know I have no right to ask you for this, but please don't leave me." It's barely audible through his crying, but he's hoping it will somehow reach you. "Please don't leave me."

☁︎ END

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[kanmom51]

JK live 30 July 2023

Part 1

cr./Creators of media used in this post.

JK came to us live after pre-recording his performance for Inkigayo, while waiting at the studio for the live show. It was a pr-scheduled live, and as such, once again, he arranged for the AI translations to run while we were watching it live, which might I say, was abso-fucking-lutely fabulous, as we got front row and immediate gratification. And I will explain it all.

One word to describe it.

SAVAGE

Well, JK style savage that is. Because even while being savage he's being too nice.

But I guess even JK has a limit to his patience for 'army'.

I will talk about what JK had to say in just a second, but first let me address the fuckery that went on.

Who are these people?

No. Really. Who are they?

How stupid can you be?

The live is with fucking translations, there are no excuses. There is no "I didn't understand what JK was saying" going on here.

There is only "I don't give a shit about what he's saying or asking of me because I'm a selfish fuck that wants, no, demands that he address MY comment or question".

And on top of that you got the TKKs, a big chunk of those fuckers up there making their stupid comments.

And all of them with total disregard to what JK tells them or asks of them.

At first he apologises for not being able to react to all comments, even if the fan is rude and entitled. But then it's on repeat. And he addresses it again, and again until JK, Mr. "I love army and they are 70-80% of my and my happiness" loses his patience with that shit as well.

As for TKKs, I guess his way to show them exactly what he thinks about them spamming him in the comments was to actually answer their questions. And boy, was he frigging savage. I was watching it live and screaming, like I couldn't believe he actually said it. JK's like "you really want to know? Well, here you go bitches..."

And let's talk about that a little, or a lot.

JK comes to this live super tired, after sleeping only an hour at night and after pre-recording Seven. Fighting sleep he was saying, and surviving on coffee, lol.

JK was really wanting to share in this live. He wants to have a conversation with army. For us to ask him questions and for him to talk with us, answer our questions, share his thoughts with us. And for the utmost he tried to. He was answering questions, including on the deeper side of things (such as mental health).

So let's get to it why don't we?

JK was sharing with us how he had trouble adjusting to the cameras again. When he performs instead of army having to look at the cameras. If you watch the performance you can actually see the shy smile, that awkwardness, .

He was so cute talking about what he ate - he was given a sandwich from the truck there in his honour, and then he HAD to taste a sandwich from the sandwich truck he had there for the fans. He had to taste it, but he also finished it, lol. So he ended up eating 2 sandwiches. And this is after eating a donut also gifted to him by Pdogg who came to visit him before the pre-recording, lol.

And after all that he went out to eat. But because he ate so much before he couldn't eat much.

So he's stuffed with food and being tired to begin with, now suffering from a bad food coma (which to begin with he suffers of more than others, idk, not a doctor here, but can I make a crazy guess that maybe it's because he stuffs his face more than others when he eats?), lol.

He can't fall asleep, because then he would get swollen, so he's trying to move around and not sleep.

JK tells us he's a little nervous, being a while since he has done a music show. He is also alone there. And we did see how nervous he was during the live interview and the announcement as well.

He talks about idols now days that know how to look at the camera and do ending poses and he doesn't.

This man, someone all these young idols look up to, admire, want to be like, and he's so very humble and unpresumptuous.

JK says how he enjoyed the pre recording and because it ended quicker than expected he got to spend some time with army after.

And it was very fun, his words.

After the show he's going home, wash up and sleep. He needs to sleep (which now we know he didn't do, as he had to do his laundry and stay up real late and not sleep until after he goes live to set some facts straight).

JK says he's sleepy and to wake him up. I think it's safe to say that what follows definitley wakes him up.😑

Some comments were ok and were definitley a conversation starter. Like missing Jin and Hobi, to which he replied that he misses them too. So much.

He's asked if he's not going to pierce his eyebrow again and answers that he won't, that washing up is too tedious with it.

And then it starts, and doesn't end pretty much until the end of the live:

Where is Taehyung?

JK: "He's probably somewhere. I don't keep up with the members all the time, everyone. I don't know either."

This here, my friends, is what TKKs had zero shame to call him a liar for. Now, let's be clear here. JK was not omitting or telling something that could be conceived as a half truth, you know, to cover up a closeted queer relationship.

First of all JK chose to answer the question. He could have easily not read it out loud and answer it. I can assure you there were JM related questions in the comments and JK does choose to answer one of them. But it's his choice as to which he picks to read and answer and which he doesn't. If he wanted to hide his supposed secret queer relationship with Tae, he most definitley did not have to choose to answer that question.

But no, he chose to read it and answer it because he wanted to set things straight. And here is my next point.

JK did not only answer in the likes of IDK or more so "how am I supposed to know?", but he also continued to explain that he's not in touch with the members all the time. He is putting Tae on same level as other members, and just like with the others, he's not in touch with him and has no idea of his whereabouts.

It's also the way he says it: "I don't keep up with the members all the time everyone...". This is meant not only for the person who wrote the comment but for EVERYONE to understand.

And he ends it with "I don't know either". This is him placing himself on the same level of knowledge as us. He, just like us, doesn't know where Tae is, and obviously has not been in touch with him lately.

At this point he's 'amused', snickering at the end of that one. And he continues with saying he'll send him a message saying army are asking where he is.

But that snicker, in my opinion is not really him being amused. I do think he is annoyed by it. Yes, he is smiling and 'laughing', but he's annoyed.

And it of course doesn't end at that. TKKs were blasting him in the comments section.

"Tell Taehyung to do a live broadcast?"

JK: "ok. I'll try telling him." smiling but I don't feel it's about being amused, and more about "what the fuck are these comments? Why the fuck do they think I have any kind of influence over Tae? And why isn't this shit ending?".

JK is asked what he thinks of army. This man clearly loves army. He's been consistent with this since forever. And he's clarified this just lately, his love for those that care about him, those that accept him for who he is. So, when he talks about army, it's not so called army filled with hate and disdain. And those army he loves, to him are incredible and he is always thankful to them. To him we are more than 50% of his life, more so around 70-80%. And that's the foundation he lives on.

Is this the right time to remind you who announced to us all, several times, that he is army too?

JK's having issues with the comments, they are going by too fast he's finding it hard to read them.

He's asked if he sees the comment do this or that, but probably multiple times for multiple things, because he says he sees all the comments but can't read them all and he can't do everything the fans are asking him to do. At this point he's obviously not loving it.

Then he starts to do the if you see this touch your nose, he does, and says before it was ears and touches his ear, and turns around for the "there's someone behind you", which he asked at the beginning to stop saying.

And then he asks "is this young army?"

"they're joking around like this because they're young army, right?"

"then I have to play with you like this, right? okay, I'll play with you. Oppa will play with you"(barf).

And then he goes "saying oppa it's so embarrassing".

Once again JK , as others did too, has something to say about the kind of comments they are getting during a live. But as usual, JK is way too nice about it. He tries, super nicely, to explain he can't mention every comment he sees. He tries to explain he can't read every comment either. And yet they keep on coming, with their not requests but demands and complaints he isn't reading out their comments or doing as they want him to. And he's just too nice. Too bloody nice.

This isn't the end of it folks. But thankfully, in between the shitty comments there are also those comments that JK can work with.

Next someone says JK heals them, and JK answers them by sayings it's also the other way round, that army heals his pain.

Ok, I'm stopping here a sec to say something.

JK is an amazing human being.

He is so mature and humble and kind. Kind and understanding and intelligent.

Yes, these comments are horrendous. And JK, he's addressing them in his humble, kind and over patient way.

And although they keep coming, I do believe at this point that JK won't stop coming to see us. Because of his love for army. Because he sees that there are those that do respect him and his time and the effort he makes coming to us and spending this time with us.

Moving on, JK is asked about another tattoo, says he has no plans for it, as it requires too much work.

"I have to work on music and there's so much to do, so I have no plans for it."

So no tattoos in the near future. Near future being the key word.

JK: something fun recently - performing, seeing army is the most fun for him. (again...). Other than that nothing. The working progress is fun sometimes though.

I mean, he did tell us filming the MV was fun, right?

Again JK is asked about the whereabouts of another member. This time Suga. And again, at this point frustrated, he answers "I don't know where Suga is either".

Yes, this was annoying as fuck, but if you listen to him, that "either", it once again is putting his knowledge about Tae's whereabouts at the same level as Suga. Either or, he doesn't know where they are because he doesn't stay in touch with them regularly.

Another one of those comments:

"I like JK , so I don't want to date you. what should I do?"

after thinking about it and trying to understand the comment: "are you saying you like me but don't want to date me? then please just keep liking me."

I personally think he missed the point of it, or didn't he?

Comment: What do you do when you're sad?

JK: "what do I do? I'm not sad lately. But when I'm sad I just let myself be sad. I completely accept that. However I would make an effort to not make it get any worse, right? either way, I'm the only one that can control that. you should live life like you only live once.

Some would say you don't have to work hard if you live once."

but JK continues: "work hard...living only once...some people try a variety of things because they only live once. it's up to you. I think it depends on the person. I think that's why I try to work hard."

I love this. I love that JK shares these little insights into his inner thoughts and what drives him in life.

He's asked if he's ok, says yes. Is he sick, no he isn't, in English...

And then he reads out the Jeon Jimin, and folks, I know that in Korea taking on your spouses name is not something you do, but the man saw the names, he recognized them, he made a clear decision to read them out loud and to end it with a tiny wittle smirk and a quiet "heh". So yeah, not applicable in Korea, and yeah probably disrespectful to have written that comment to start with, but the man enjoyed reading his surname connected with JM. Plain and simple. Not to mention that it might not be something done in Korea, but he is no idiot and he knows very well that it's something that is done all over the world. Add to that his constant need to be the hyung, so JM 'taking on' his name, it could have been amusing to him is all I'm saying.

But whatever the reason he found it amusing, it was his clear choice to read it out. Unlike "sensitive comments" he clearly stated he would not read out loud nor answer. So there you have it.

Here comes a super cringe comment, one either he didn't understand or more so, he evaded answering.

What do you think about an 11 year age difference?

Cause he does the math, says 1st year of middle school but then goes on to talk about how important it is to get educated, that knowledge is power (which is true, but still irrelevant to that cringy question, lol).

Next JK doesn't read the actual comment but answers: "no! I didn't meet JM during the live broadcast that time." He doesn't read out the question so we don't know what it was. And the translation is weird. He didn't meet him during? Was this about meeting JM for the live or was it about meeting JM after the live? It's really unclear by the answer JK gave.

He follows with: "I would do a live broadcast with Jimin if I could, but timing has to work out with each other."

And see, this is what I was saying about JK's choices. He chose to answer Tae questions with a clear NO. I don't know where Tae is. He didn't contact me (that one is yet to come). And the kicker is the one about living with Tae and the face he makes (again, yet to come).

And when he brings up JM it's about the previous in bed live, answering a question he doesn't even read out, so we don't even know what it was, and then adds how he wants to do that live with JM. So, it's not a no. It's a NOT YET. And the difference there is huge!!

Comment: what do you think about death?

JK: "it's scary. It means you no longer exist on this earth. but I do believe in the afterlife and spiritual things to a certain extent, so I don't know. but I don't think about it right now."

Comment: does he like philosophy?

JK: Nope. doesn't know about it. Doesn't read books. That's why he can't explain things in depth. Says things based off his emotions.

Did I mention this man's intelligence? His emotional intelligence?

See how wonderful the live is when army actually take a moment of thought before writing a comment?

And then it's ruined. Once again.

"Taehyung said that he wants to do a live broadcast with me and do karaoke?"

Now, obviously this was a comment telling him Tae wanted to do a live and Karaoke with him.

And what does he do?

He turns it into a question. "He does?" As in, he, JK, had no idea about it, lol. And the final blow:

Nodding his head and laughing.

And if the final blow wasn't enough, he then repeats it once again: "he didn't contact me."

And the facial expression after that.

Did I say savage? Well, this is JK being savage. Telling it as it is. With a smile to add.

And then again, JK has to address the ass fans. saying there is no one he is ignoring.

Sadly, this isn't the only time he had to say this.

Comment: how do i recover when I am feeling weak?

"I received advice... anyway being positive is better than being negative. And you should probably judge right from wrong well".

"I received advice".

And those who know know.

Comment: what do you do when you are angry?

"I do express my anger. But I'm not very good at controlling my anger yet either... I still lose my temper sometimes."

Emotional intelligence.

Once again says he hasn't seen Barbie yet, but it looks fun.

Cringe time again:

JK: who is we? Congratulation on getting married. Love well. You didn't say it was me. It means you're getting married tomorrow? Congratulations. You must have made a good connection."

JK has changed strategy. Seeing that saying no is getting him nowhere, perhaps turning it around will do the job? I doubt it. But good try JK, lol.

And again people are complaining and he's explaining

"Why aren't you reading my comment? tell me."

JK :"It's not that I'm ignoring those kinds of comments. I do look at all of them. so don't think I'm ignoring you", and I personally would have ended it with - "you fucking entitled little shit".

And then he goes on to read "what do you enjoy eating lately?" and says "I read questions like this... because I can talk about myself".

Again, this live is translated. There is NO EXCUSE not understanding what he is saying. And not only does he explain it, he also gives us an example as to what questions he means. And do you think that helped?

Asked about the dance challenge he explains he's very shy at first and embarrassed, so no... and smiles.

I guess he felt at ease with Mingyu. Anyone else we might get?

Pizza v. chicken = chicken of course.

Doesn't play video games now days. Again said.

Does he have phobias? "I have claustrophobia and probably acrophobia. but he overcomes it with his guts."

No plans to do IG.

Ok, so frigging Tumblr isn't allowing me to add anymore clips, and me, I want to add them, cause there are points to be made.

Hence, me, very unwillingly, turning this post into a 2 parter.

And this, my friends, is end of part 1.

Part 2 to be posted shortly.

Unless, if I decide to add it to the next live, the short live he did same night.

I guess we'll have to wait and see.

[saxandviolins88]

Transformers Skybound #12 spoilers below cut

Yeeees! Final issue of the arc! I thought it was pretty neat, nothing dick-blowing, but I did like some of the things it touched.

This is such a cool sho-

...

...

Why are you a motorcycle...?

HE'S SO FUCKING AWFUL OMG!! I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM LOVE HIM!!!

GAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(^ This is the sound of a well feed autistic)

Enough about my six awful sons

Nice seeing OP and Elita working together and especially nice seeing Devastator getting fried next panel HA HA.

Do... do these guys have nothing to do when Shockwave isn't there? Like I don't think it's supposed to be interpreted that way, but my first thought was: "Damn you guys just standin' there since SW left? Get a job."

"I'LL TELL MY MUM ABOUT THIS AND THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY FOR BREAKING MY TOYS!!"

Sorry, Skybound Shockwave is a blast to read, fucking cartoon supervillain hahaha.

No comment, just appreciate the art, insanely in love with how anime this is.

Absolutely in love with how Skybound Optimus is written.

He doesn't value life quantitively, he values ALL life and wants to save everybody, this will be coming back.

Michael bay?! Nooooooo!

Joke.

But like, what was that? People are saying Megatron's essence in the arm took over him; I don't know about that, the purple eyes don't exactly convey that for me, but I also have no option but to believe it was (or waiting for a reveal, like a normal person.)

Also, what was that about "Not being like that anymore"?? Guess you don't become Autobot leader without taking a few faces. Speaking of that... urgh Shockwave's death was sooo good, thank Lord they extended that shit through a few panels and it wasn't just a "you blink and you'll miss it" type of death.

OOF! The debacle comes to a boiling point!

Elita wants to save a dying planet using Earth ("The Earth has so much to give, look at all the Energon we already have.") vs Optimus, who cares about life, point. All life is important and Earth needs PROTECTION.

I do think both of them have a point; Elita has been fighting NON-STOP while Optimus was basically in a coma, she can't just abandon Cybertron to die like this, but using Earth is a bit uh... Shockwav-y of her. But I'll give it to her, I'd also be desperate and a little bit pissed if I protected my fucking planet for ages and my husband (Leader of the movement I fought and sent soldiers to die for) disappeared in search of a way to save it and then came back like: "Y'know maybe we should protect this random ass planet you never saw, there are people there too".

Ultimately, none of them are right and none of them are wrong. Optimus's decision was his and now he has to live with it, and Elita too, I'm glad she survived so we get to see MORE of her. (Please DWJ don't forget her too.)

They cut Cybertron's foreskin out.

Optimus had a "Planet of the Apes" moment at the end there so that was cool enough to point out.

OOOH BEACHY SAVES THE DAY, AWESOME!!!

I'm more excited to see how he'll affect the main cast as this goes on, I feel he'll either become an important character or at least bring in an interesting discussion.

.

I quite enjoyed this arc a ton, it gave us a look into the Decepticons and I absolutely love how their whole mentality is getting written, I can only hope this gets explored more in the whole Starscream prequel thing (oooh boy I have a funny anecdote for when we read that, based on the preview pages).

Optimus is the character who gets more focus, yes, but he's so well-written and DWJ takes such good care of him I barely feel like complaining; most characters and scenarios that happen serve to challenge his conviction or show another side of him and I really can't complain about how this has been done.

What do I want more of this comic? uuuuuh, more characterization for side characters (come on DWJ, I'm not asking for a fucking arc for every-single nobody; just write Jazz like a person and we're set!)... Hmm... more Constructicon page time would be nice too, but I guess you already knew I was going to say that...

[thefangirlfever]

Brace yourself for Miguel O'Hara Halloween headcanons 🎃

So... I guess it's time for Miguel O'Hara Halloween headcanons.

•goes trick'r treating with Gabriella ofc (duh)

•she is the only one who can get him to dress up. It wouldn't be something too crazy at first, like small devil horns or vampire teeth. With the years passing, they would get some matching costumes. In the end, he would be such a huge fan of this little tradition of them(teenage Gabriella would die of embarrassment but in a good way)

• He covers Gabriellas's eyes every time something scary appears on the screen when they watch a spooky movie. He tries to act tough but is in fact very scared of some horror movies himself.

•Would carve pumpkins if Gabriella asked him to. Since he had to learn how to cook for him and his daughter, you can be sure he will bake some amazing pastries during that time of the year, including cinnamon rolls and apple pies.

• very generous when it comes to give candies to trick'r treaters. The kids love his house. But he always makes sure to keep his favorite candies and Gabriella's favorites.

• When he has to empty her bag of candies at the end of the night, he is very careful and checks everything with her. He lets her have the best candies and eats the one she doesn't like (jelly worms and dark chocolate treats)

• Definitely has a food coma after this evening (it'sa good thing his suit is a hologram so it can still fit even after eating a lot), but not as much as during Christmas.

•Dios de la Muertos, I mean. I mean, I can see him rocking one of those tradurional masks or maybe a make up inspired by caravelas.

• So, feel free to correct me if I am wrong (I don't live in a South American country, so I had to do some researches about this), but apparently Mexican people clean the graves of their dead every year for el Dia de los Muertos. I can see Miguel trying to make his daughter feel close to her heritage and maybe brings her with him that day.

• (also in the Canon when Gabriella's universe has been destroyed, since she has no grave, I think he would have a little altar for her somewhere in the house. Not something too big but definitely has some pictures of her, candles and he puts some flowers every year. Apparently the 1st november is when people celebrate the dead children, called angelito, so I would clearly see him doing it that day. Sorry for the angst, let's get back to the fluff now)

• Does he like haunted houses? Definitely no. This would imply for him to always be on his guard and if he feels threatened, he knows his claws would come out or maybe his fangs, so no, he prefers keeping it simple on Halloween.

• That doesn't mean people don't play tricks on him. If it's Gabriella, she would probably just wear a mask or a sheet over her head and tries to scare him when he does the dishes for example. He would fake being scared and they would actually end up laughing. If someone else tries to scare him, he would simply not react (which frustrates people a lot)

Disclaimer: I know el dia de los muertos is not the same as Halloween but apparently more and more people celebrate these two together and mix some elements of each celebration (which I find really interesting).

====

Thanks for reading my mess, little goblins 🎃

Happy Halloween !

[manyothermusingsofmine]

Adrift || Drabble

Fandom: Xmen

Warnings: None

Wordcount: 1444 Summary: My friend @shadowphoenixrider fell hard into the world of the Xmen thanks to a certain card-wielding Cajun and it got me speculating what my mutant powers would be and uh.. Meet Mutant Drifting I guess. -----------------------------------------------

There was only one thing you could be certain about at the mansion; weird things tended to happen almost daily. Maybe it was because of that truth that Gambit didn't really look up from his card trick at first when a seemingly floating t-shirt, pair of jeans and some shoes went on by. After the initial double take, red eyes set in black sclera followed the set as it wandered down the hall.

It genuinely seemed like something Morph would pull, but if that were the case they would have made some sort of comment about the look on Gambits face by now. And with Shadow popping out of the danger room, Gambit decided it was probably best to do something about this before these mystery clothes turned out to be something far less benevolent.

"Oi," the tone of his voice just sharp and authoritarian enough to make the unknown entity halt in its movement, "and where do you think you're going?"

"Well, the plan was to look for either Professor Xavier or the scientist around here- I guess you found me first. Didn't see you, there," a lower but still feminine sounding voice replied.

Curiosity got the better of him, which was the only reason Gambit hadn't thrown a charged card their way yet. He was however holding onto one, flitting it between the fingers of his hand in debate on what to do.

"Well, mind turning that invisibility thing of yours off before you do that? You're making people antsy; can’t let you do that on Diable Blanc’s watch."

"Yeah, uhm, that's kind of why I need either of those two."

Hm. Shooting Shadow a glance, it became clear to Gambit that both of them could wager a guess as to what that meant. Shadow also seemed to be staring at this invisible being as if trying to figure out something about it.

"... You don't know how to turn it off, do ya?" Gambit suggested, slightly amused by that turn of events.

"Right on the money, sir. I've got no clue; I've been like this for two days. Some help would be appreciated."

Raising an eyebrow, Gambit looked over at Shadow, who needed another moment to process that the Cajun was offering her up as a solution to this problem

"Chère?"

"Wh- no, thank you. I don't mess with mutant powers, who knows what'll happen."

"Fine. Gambit'll go fetch Rogue, then."

"Good- wait a minute, Rogue?" Shadow asked, immediately halting Gambit in his process of getting ready to leave, "that's quite the overkill option!"

"Do you want their powers off or not?"

"By putting them in a coma? Again, overkill much?!"

"What would ya have me do, punch their lights out instead?"

"No!! Look, can you just go find Charles, or Ha-"

In the middle of this argument, the air between the three people suddenly took on the faintest hint of sulfur; it was the only warning anyone had before Kurt popped into view, having teleported himself over from wherever he had been previously standing. A startled yelp of 'Jesus Christ!' was all that left the invisible one, and as soon as it had left their mouth the spell seemed to have been broken as everything about them reappeared all at once.

It revealed a tall ish, pale woman with wine red hair and green eyes, who was now observing her hands with quiet awe and surprise as she genuinely hadn't seen them in at least forty eight hours.

"Oh, hey, I can see my hands again."

"You can thank me by not using blasphemy this early in the morning, Fraulein," Kurt responded with an easy smile. "Noted. I was raised in a harbor town, I apologize in advance for all the times I will end up being blasphemous."

"Ohh," Shadow chimed in, "it's a startle response. Interesti- Wait. Miranda?!"

"Sup?" 'Miranda' casually responded, throwing up a peace sign as she shifted her weight to her other leg. With her now visible, Gambit took another moment to really take her in. She had somewhat of a pear-shaped body and stood high on her legs, but she was definitely shorter than him. If he had to wager a guess she was somewhere between six to seven inches shorter than him, probably closer to seven. Crossing her arms over her chest, Miranda had an attitude about her as if she shook off a lot of things as they came to her; she didn't seem that perturbed by the looks of either Gambit or Kurt for starters. "You know her, chère?" "Yeah, she's my friend, she works in catering at my old job."

"Worked," Miranda corrected, running her thumb over the edge of her middle fingernail to check it for any dents, "they don't exactly like it when you no show for two days with no explanation, but I couldn't exactly explain 'well I don't know where my limbs went for starters' without being clocked as weird, in serious life threatening danger or possibly a mutant- not even necessarily in that order."

"Pardon me, anyway," Kurt politely interjected as he actually needed the answer to his question, "Gambit, are the two of us still on for that mission tonight?" "Yes, mon ami. Don't keep me waiting, now." "I never do," and with that he left as quickly as he had appeared. Miranda startled once more at the teleportation, her invisibility immediately clicking back on in response. It brought a groan out of her that seemed to come from the deepest recesses of her soul. Shadow just blinked, as Gambit desperately tried to keep himself from laughing at her predicament... and failed. Shadow immediately started shoving at him to get him to move instead of laughing at her friend. "Will you just go get our doctor, Cajun?!" With now just the two of them left, Shadow watched as just the set of clothes leaned on the nearest corridor wall with a sigh. Well, that certainly was an interesting set of abilities and turn of events. And then there was also the matter of... "So, what happened? The first time, you know, where you turned..?"

"The cabinet where I hold my kitchenware decided to give up on life at like, three am. Scared me half to death but as soon as I figured it was just something in my apartment that broke and, you know, not some intruder I went back to sleep intending on dealing with whatever it was the next morning. Next morning comes, and all I see when I tossed a look in my wardrobe mirror is my pajamas looking back with me. For a second I wonder if I got down with a bout of fucking vampirism, only to then realise I don't see my hands, or really anything but my clothes when I look down either. And then I figured it's probably some superpower thing and I'm better off looking for someone to fix it." "And your first instinct was to find the X-men Mansion?!" "It was that or Stark Tower; I decided to try my luck with the building least likely to vaporize me with its home security system as soon as I step on the porch."

"You're incredibly lucky Logan isn't here, then. That said; Gambit got close."

"Then I'll thank him for not vaporizing me on the spot when he gets back." Despite not being able to see her, Shadow swore she could feel that Miranda was staring at her trying to figure something out. It's not exactly easy to shake the feeling that someone is watching you, whether visible or not. "What?" "You, and Gambit?" "Are just friends," Shadow immediately snapped in return, frowning at the light scoff coming from her invisible friend. "Uhuh." "Don't you take that tone with me when it took less than five seconds of you being visible to see that you were looking at Nightcrawler." "Lord forbid the plush toy granted sentience piques my interest in any way." "Look," Shadow replied exasperated, "How about we both stop talking about this for a while?!" "Deal." What was meant to be a pleasant silence was quickly interrupted when Gambit reappeared, somehow without Beast in tow to which Shadow frowned. "Gambit, I thought I told you to-" "Not to worry!" the voice of Beast coming from up high and behind Miranda, startling her back to visible as she had her attention pointed the opposite way to Shadow and Gambit, "I am here to offer assistance." "I told him to sneak up on her, it seems to work," Gambit dryly remarked. "Fucking hell, there's got to be an easier way to turn me back than this!"

[cuubism]

If you don't mind me asking - what do you think Dream's attitude/reaction towards Tolkien's works (including the legendarium!) would be? (I'm asking a lot of Sandman bloggers this, because I'm extremely curious regarding your takes on this.)

oh! hang on i gotta brush up on my tolkien because i haven't actually read any of the books since like. 2011.

i guess my main thought would be about how dream missed like, 95% of his work when he was stuck in his Jar. my understanding (read: google search) is that tolkien was building up the mythology for his stories before 1916 (when dream was captured), but most of it was not finished/published until a while after.

(this became an insane and mostly unrelated rant i am so so sorry)

i think a lot about how much of his own... area of work and power dream missed when he was trapped. the 20th century, generally speaking, was a time of rapid growth in storytelling methods and media more generally. dream missed almost all of radio, particularly radio as it became a medium for stories. radio was invented in the late 1890s but didn't see a proper rise into a storytelling medium, rather than mainly a direct communication one, until around the 30s. so dream missed the creation and growth of the first, i guess you would call it, networked storytelling, and technological storytelling, and what was... probably? the biggest return to an auditory type of storytelling since the original oral tradition, folk tales, great epics etc, for radio at its peak of cultural relevance (at least in the US and probably the ""West"" more generally, alas i can't speak as knowledgeably for other parts of the world, obviously plenty of other parts of the world had radio in the early 20th century and onward, but i don't know much about its use as a fictional storytelling medium versus for news and government broadcasts. something to look into! part of why radio became such a medium in the usa was because of our rampant capitalism and commercialism lol, so less capitalistic places might have approached it differently - here, advertisers wanted to figure out a way to monetize radio better, but obviously people aren't going to just listen to hours of ads, so they packaged them around stories, live music performances, and variety shows. that's where soap operas as a form come from -- they were originally sponsored by soap companies! also serials, though of course books have also been serialized in the past. and sponsored radio programs also birthed the sort of episodic comedies that eventually evolved into the half hour TV comedies we know today)

which also means - as a direct result of missing radio, dream also missed the rise of television as a medium - it grew directly out of radio, even the big networks we know today, CBS, NBC, and ABC were originally radio networks. television has ended up being a huge change in visual storytelling, not only in its inception, but especially in its more recent years - it's probably the only long-form audiovisual storytelling medium, which is something that didn't really exist before. huge shift in storytelling possibilities. he also missed the development of comic books, and the internet, and the resulting increased accessibility of art and storytelling to both artists and art lovers. he missed an absolutely huge, HUGE shift in the democratization of art and the ability to share it. and, once again, the development of totally new methods of storytelling in the form of internet video! not to even mention the accessibility of MUSIC, music recording and sharing was still in its infancy when dream was imprisoned and now you can get, and make, and share pretty much any music imaginable! and the new genres! and the intermediality of everything and the cross-cultural awareness!

this is not even getting into the new ease of photography, or film, which was also relatively new in 1916. imagine going into a coma when there were only silent films, and waking up to everyone and their mother making tiktoks. the last film you saw was one of chaplin's or something and then you come back and see interstellar in imax 3d. i think i'd explode. (dream would love film, too, it's very dreamlike)

dream returning to the waking world in 2022 and immediately having the entirety of tiktok beamed directly into his head:

(another thing i think about a lot but won't get into because i'm already rambling - hob witnessing the entire development of accessible writing from the printing press to fucking social media. insanity. i want to pick his brain on it

what pushed hob over the edge, do you think. what's the one thing he saw written online that briefly made him regret ever getting involved in printing at all and wish everyone was illiterate again. it was not porn, btw, mr. monsterfucker gadling can handle anything, ok. no, it was something much worse...)

anyway. rambling over. this is all to say that i am not a tolkien expert and haven't read much of his stuff anywhere recently - though i was quite obsessed with it in middle/high school - so my main thought is in relation to dream getting cut off from all of these great stories. it must have been like, to put it flippantly, your favorite tv show getting cancelled halfway through after a cliffhanger XD. he has all these stories from great storytellers - tolkien included - storytellers who are building their whole own worlds in his realm, storytellers he's nurturing and supporting in his own way - and gets ripped away from them. and when he returns, they're all gone.

here's hoping someone who knows more about tolkien can give you an answer more specifically relevant to that. that's all i got for now 😂

[pommunist]

I do wonder a little if the very different reactions to Pomme and Dapper's beds being included in the stream might in part be like... a difference in people used to seeing a new admin play an egg? The situations are very different and that should be acknowledged and looked at and even if as is likely the case QStudios owns all rights to the NPCs created for QSMP it would feel extremely icky to me to give Pomme especially a new admin. But at the same time... I do wonder if people more used to say, Chayanne, who has had 2 different main admins and been played by 4 or 5 different admins regularly enough the different forms have nicknames are more... accepting of the idea? Because the idea of an egg belonging only to the one actor is less comprehensible to them, as it's not what they're used to? Ramón's situation might be closer, but again 2 admins at least. Im almost certain I've seen Tallulah played by someone else when her admin was sick, and I've no doubt some of the other eggs have occassionally been played by others due to admin illness even if not long term.

(This is not to say it's main the issue (even without eggs being acted Sunny's admin should have known what was happening just for bigger issues with the stream alone - admin health and treatment is far more important than what they provide) I'm just. Trying to think of reasons why reactions I saw were as polarised as they were, with half my dash treating it like parading a corpse in the street and the other half like this was entirely expected and normal.)

Oh that’s a good question anon !!

First, the ownership of the characters is a tricky point that I don’t have an answer to as intellectual property laws are extremely complicated and not something I know much about tbh.

And on the topic of admin change, I think public reception depends a lot of the cause of said change : For example, when Ramon switched admins, huevitos were perfectly fine with it as it was assumed that the OG had taken a break for studying purposes so it was not a problem (turns out they were fired 🥲). It’s the same whenever an admin steps up to punctually or long term play another character because their admin is too busy with irl stuff, other work within Qstudios, is sick…. (like what I assume happened for Chayanne)

Pomme’s situation is different because of Lumi’s circumstances and the fact that she asked for her character to end with her leaving. Plus the fact that CCs have said before that they didnt want her to be replaced, even before that whole situation, I remember at least Antoine saying he would rather have Pomme dead than be played by someone else. I’d say the french speaking side got quite attached to her as, with all the sidelining we went through, both her character and admin were our only beacon of representation within Qstudios/QSMP 🥹

Also something that makes me kinda ehhhh about saying that there are people who are completely fine with admins changes because their fav character went through at least one is remembering the whole Pepito/otipep mess that had people go mad because Pepito had an admin change for a few days and they didn’t like the "new personnality" or whatever ? (Couldn’t tell the details of it as my spanish suck and Roier often streams in the middle of the night for me, but I remember the twitter shit storm)

Finally about the eggs being like kidnapped and in a coma (I think ? didn’t watch the stream) I guess it’s an okay way to put them on hold while sorting things out + an opportunity to explain in lore if you have to kill some because no more admins ? Or at least it would have been okay if all the eggs admins still working would have been made aware that their characters was being put on hold 😀

[isfjmel-phleg]

At the antique store today, I found a Batman comic from 1989. I didn't get it (although I did pick up another from the previous year that has a brief Angry Jason moment), but in the back was a letter page with responses to A Death in the Family and I took pictures. Here's a glimpse of what the 1989 Discourse was around Jason's death:

Some readers approached it in terms of story quality, like Bob U., who wrote a lengthy piece comparing it in quality to a previous story and concluded with

The voting, well, that was rather crass, if you ask me, but all in all, I think the characters stand up, and the pure adventure of it all will be remembered for years to come. You allowed the fans to contribute, and that couldn't have been easy. So thanks, I guess, for a few fun months of Batman and Robin, and what I hope will be some really brutal Dark-night Detective stuff in the months to come.

But other readers, like Rene S., had more emotional investment--in case some rather harsh and uncalled-for hatred of a fictional teenager:

After reading the conclusion of "A Death in the Family," I've only one thing to say: thank you very much for killing off Robin! I never liked the little gnat; he is not even the original Robin! I always thought that Batman looked a little bit silly running around with a fourteen (?) year old sidekick. Now the Batman is restored to his old glory, and I sincerely hope there won't be another Robin for some years to come (although I liked the girl Robin in DARK KNIGHT [i.e. Carrie Kelley], maybe you can do something with that...) Robin is dead, long live Batman!

Mitchell K. had none of that meanness but showed a fan-like interest in alternate endings:

I have been an avid Batman fan since I was a boy, and I just finished "A Death in the Family" series and thoroughly enjoyed it. I voted for Jason to live and was very shocked to see him die, but I was still very impressed with the rest of the story. But I can't help wondering how the story would have gone if Jason had lived. I would like to know if there is any way that DC Comics will ever publish the second ending.

To which the editor replied:

Mitchell, while we understand your curiosity, we have no plans at present to ever publish the "alternate" ending to BATMAN #428. Very few people even at DC have seen those pages, and sorry to say, but that for the time being the material will stay locked up tight in my file.

I hope Mitchell was inspired to create his own version of that ending! (Those top-secret alternate pages have since been glimpsed; they feature Batman holding Jason as he does in the original but exclaiming, "He's alive! Thank God!" and then Jason in the hospital in a coma with his recovery uncertain.)

Alvis S. has an unfortunate story about his thwarted intention to vote for Jason to live:

As I read "A Death in the Family," this time in the Graphic Novel form, I relived the frustration I felt when I read BATMAN #428. Why did I feel this frustration? It could be that on September 15th and 16th, the South Texas area was being threatened by Hurricane Gilbert. At that time, the Phone Company asked that the phone lines be kept clear for emergencies. Maybe my friends and I, who had planned to vote on keeping the late Jason Todd alive, could have made a difference. We made sure we voted on November 7th, though; but this time we have no excuses. What is done is done, but I will miss the effect Jason was having on our hero.

Shon G. was disgusted by the fandom's murderous attitude toward Jason:

It saddens me to see that comic fans are becoming so blood thirsty. I have never seen a character like Jason Todd be disliked so much. Maybe it was because he was no Dick Grayson. Who knows? But I know this: it tells you how far some people will go to get their way. I have also noticed that when a writer terminates a character, most people write in that it was a cop-out. This time it is not the writer's fault directly. It is ours. And it appears that a few people are being quite hypocritical. It is a shame you let us choose, for it is very frightening to know that, if given the chance, people will vote for the death of someone because of dislike. People always seem to miss possible alternatives. That makes us not only ignorant, but also narrow-minded. I am aware that this letter does not apply to everyone, but I wanted to, at least, voice my opinions on this situation. [...] P.S. Whatever happened to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness"? Especially for those heroes who have given us so much--whether we admit it or not.

To which the editor replied:

Voicing opinions is what letter columns are all about, Shon. But I really don't think you give your fellow readers enough credit. Try to keep in mind that Jason Todd was a work of fiction (despite the incredible feelings of angst and finality we all felt as the votes came in [...]). You know as well as I do that if the phone vote was over the life or death of a real-life, living, breathing PERSON, the results would have been a little different. A LOT different.

...would it have been? For someone so apparently hated? Some people can be surprisingly just as cruel with real people as they are with fictional ones.

Similarly, Rob H. is concerned by such attitudes in the fandom:

First of all, let me say that I am not writing to complain about his [Jason's] death, nor am I writing to cheer about it. Personally, I do wish he had survived, although I must admit I wasn't fond of his character after his origin was changed after the Crisis; however, he was still an interesting character. I don't mind the fact that he is dead as much as I mind the manner of his death. The Joker didn't kill him. The readers did. He didn't die for any good purpose that I can see. He died because of some stupid idea to garner some free publicity. Look at all the media coverage it got. If it hadn't been for the phone-in poll, I doubt his passing would have gotten much attention at all. It just seems to me that the only reason he died was to make some money. I am not so concerned about the money aspect of his death, but with many readers' outright joy that he died. The letter column seems to be full of people gloating that they helped kill him. Why are they so overjoyed? They really seem to have hated him a lot. Why? It seems more and more readers are calling for the deaths of characters. In SUICIDE SQUAD, the readers keep pleading for more people to die. In NEW TITANS, readers seem to be calling for Danny Chase to die. What is this obsession with death? Admittedly, these characters are merely fictional, but doesn't this fixation with death seem like a sad commentary upon society? I, for one, like it when the heroes prevail. Sure I like realism in comics, but I also like the escapism. There is enough death and destruction in the world today. It seems to be getting harder to occasionally escape from the madness for even a short time.

In light of the outcome of the vote, it's good to know that there were some people who were disturbed by all that. Sure, it's "just a fictional character" whose death wouldn't matter in the same way that a real person's would, but if a fictional character is ultimately so inconsequential, why was there enough investment to warrant that level of vitriol? I tend to agree with Rob; it's "a sad commentary on society" that readers were so harsh.

Even if it resulted in some fascinating storylines, both shortly after and much, much later.

[razorblade180]

Ignited chapter 3: Hidden Obstacles

Ch2 <-

As the promising youth of today took their exam, the heroes of days gone by were filled in on what transpired during their secret war. Yang told Jaune, Tai, and especially Jacquelyn, how Adam had saved her from an explosion that could’ve cost her life and put the man in an indefinite coma. After the story, Jacquelyn was finally able to explain to all, the festering hatred that hounded Jael like a tempest in her soul.

Most were privy to bits of the situation already, but for Jaune and Tai, who remained home to take care of the children, it was quite the story. Jaune had noticed the reserved and cold nature that Jael gave during her greeting like everyone else did. He wouldn’t have guessed the reasoning though, or how deep seeded the negativity would be.

“Poor girl.” He said, folding his arms. “That’s a lot for anyone to handle.”

Jackie nodded in agreement. “I’m happy to see you can empathize, but I also have to apologize. I’ve tried my best to get her to understand while her anger is justified, it shouldn’t be directed at any of you. Yujin especially. It’s just…” Jacquelyn sighed in defeat.

“It’s hard to tell your own child to look or feel one way when it’s impossible to hide your own frustrations. Believe me, I get it.”

Yang didn’t even want to think about the countless conversations Jaune must’ve had with Yujin about why her own mother wasn’t around. “I’m sorry.” She said softly. “To all of you; for…so many things.”

“Please, don’t burden yourself like this.” Jacquelyn looked at the group. “That goes for all of you. Nobody expected you to be perfect and despite my own grief, it was ultimately my husband’s choice to join you in ending this dangerous threat. Jael understands this too. I know she does. It just doesn’t change the fact Jael has sadly lived a life with things she could call hers and that are precious to her. The years Adam spent looking over your family in her eyes is time lost with him. Then this tragedy happened. To her, Yujin, or rather, the Xiao Longs have taken arguably the most precious thing of all from her.”

“Doesn’t help Adam trained Yujin.” Raven added. “It would be impossible for Yujin to not be the center of that girl’s resentment. I’m not saying Adam thought of my granddaughter as his own child by any means, but he definitely took his role as a mentor and figure quite seriously. Maybe he felt like he owed Yang for past grievances, or he is truly fond of Yujin? Either way…”

“It would be hard to stomach as his legitimate child.” Ruby finished. She couldn’t help but wonder if Canary held any similar sentiments in regards to how Uncle Qrow treated the two of them. “So what now? I can’t imagine Jael is swearing a lifetime of vengeance. I mean she’s taking the huntsman exam as we speak and seems like a pretty earnest kid.”

Jackie smiled gently. “Thank you, and she is quite earnest. Today, for better or for worse, she’s being comforted with the person she hates the most. She hopes to completely outshine Yujin and prove her superiority. At least, that’s how I see it. It’s why she hasn’t told Yujin about Adam. She wants to definitively prove that all the time she had with her father was well spent and more valuable than anything he gave yours. My fear is that she’ll get far too worked up, or worse.”

“Oh!” Yang perked up. “That reminds me, I saw her spit out blood. Adam had mentioned she was ill. Something about her heart?”

Jacquelyn’s eyes widened. To think he would share that with Yang of all people. Not to mention the look of concern on her face. Will wonders never cease?”

“Yes, my daughter was premature and has an exceptionally weak heart. In all honesty, she completely destroyed the odds of her life expectancy by more than a decade. Thankfully it’s completely possible for her to live a long life with her medicine and own diligence in her health. Her semblance, which is gravity, has also done wonders in lightening the stress on her heart.”

Ren was more than a little intrigued to hear that. “She uses her own semblance to help her heart? That takes incredible control.”

“She’s not always doing it but yes, she does. Life finds a way as they say. Her control probably surpasses mine. Still, the body has its limits. Reckless excursion and letting her emotions get the better of her too much will put strain on her heart. Sadly, I’m not surprised her first conversation with Yujin made her a bit… agitated. It’s why I asked Yujin to let Jael focus on the exam and try not to interact too much.”

Winter furrowed her brow, crossing her arms in skepticism. “You’re letting your daughter attempt to become a huntress despite the health risk!?”

“You see me as irresponsible? Truthfully, I can’t blame you, but believe me when I say my daughter is vastly more capable than I can put into words. If it weren’t for these specific circumstances, I’d imagine today and countless following days would be nothing she hasn’t handled in the past. We don’t exactly live in a comfortable environment. Also…”

Jacquelyn looked off at a single little bird standing on a branch. She watched as it took the leap, barely catching itself and taking flight into the sky.

“Any self respecting mother wishes a long and happy life for their children. That being said, I constantly see my youngest child doing everything she can to always feel her emotions within reason; as if she were a bird in a cage. As much as I would adore the idea of Jael living a simple, ordinary life for all her days, I know happiness is the last thing she’d feel. She may look like her father, but passion and desire to dream… those are my gifts to her. If I have a regret, it’s that I couldn’t give her a body naturally strong enough to chase down those dreams and ambitions without a second thought.”

A breeze blew through the group. It was hard not to feel some sort of pity towards the maiden and she deeply cared about her family. It was also difficult to not fear for Yujin. Once again, a Taurus and a Xiao Long were on opposing sides. The more things change, the more they stay the same. The sound of the tower’s bell rang. Nora turned her head to see several of the potential students already heading back.

“Time really flies. Looks like the first part is over.” She looked at Jacquelyn. “Sooooo…”

“Please treat my child normally, and I’d like it if all of you could continue honoring her request about Adam. If something happens, I’ll take full responsibility. Glynda already knows this, and you all of course have the right to intervene if you really think it’s necessary.”

They all nodded, but silently wished this day could stay pleasant. Yujin and Tenzen were already on their way back; Jael wasn’t too far behind them so Jacquelyn started putting a little distance from the group.

“We’re back!!!” Yujin grinned at her mother.

“Ha! Someone looks confident.”

“Of course! There were a few questions about grimm I was hazy on, but I know my stuff! If the grading scale is normal then I definitely passed this section.”

Tenzen wasn’t worried in the slightest either. In fact, he was even more relaxed than before. “I have a perfect score.”

“Oh yeah?” Nora smirked, hands on her hips. “That’s a bold statement before it’s graded.”

“Trust. I may not have been the star student at combat school but this surprise exam was easier than the finals.”

Yujin chuckled to herself. “I remember that day. You were sweating buckets and looked ready to vomit when I saw you.”

“I forgot my textbook! I couldn’t study properly!”

Several feet away, Jael let out a pensive sigh and tapped her left foot. “That could’ve gone better.”

“Oh no. Was our material not up to standard? I had Blake triple track.”

“No, it was.” She signed again. “I had just never taken a timed test before. Actually, I’ve never really taken a standardized test at all.” Being homeschooled really showed its consequences today.

“Did you manage to finish?”

“I managed that much. I also realized maybe my knowledge of dust isn’t what I’d call…up to par. As far as the rest goes, I feel pretty good about my answers.”

“Glad to hear it. I wouldn’t fret over the test too much. Many people here also don’t have the benefit of attending a combat school before entering an academy. However Beacon is grading this, I’m positive they take individuals like you into account.”

“Gee, I didn’t say I bombed or anything crazy. It was just…unfamiliar.” Jael pouted but quickly shook it off. “Regardless, I’ll make up the difference in the next part.”

“That’s the spirit!”

It wasn’t much longer than Glynda and Canary came walking out of the building at their own leisurely, but efficient pace.

“So was this a test of my grading skills?”

“Young lady, I wouldn’t have entertained an interview with you if I doubted your ability to do average math. Many of these children will be in your class before long. It serves you well to know what you might be getting into. That and if you’re anything like your father, learning to retain names now will make for less awkward moments later.”

Canary couldn’t help but smile softly. “Yeah. That sounds like something he’d struggle with.” They made it back to the group and surprisingly, the examinees all quickly lined up again. “Ha! Wow. Nice to see all of you are dedicated but loosen up a little. It’s not like you’re students…yet.”

Canary pulled out her scroll and raised it for all to see. “Now I could project all the scores big enough for you all to see. However, I’m not in the business of public humiliation or unnecessary stress. I’ll leave that to Professor Oobleck.”

The alumni of Beacon all sighed in unison. “Dr. Oobleck.” They said in a tired and strangely rehearsed manner.

Canary was only joking but now she shared the same look of worry the young adults did. “O…Kay then. Any who, once I hit the send button, all of you will be sent your personal scores thanks to all of you following the test direction by writing down your ID number. I will say this now. Even if your score is low, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed. Just that you have a steep hill to climb in terms of convincing us to let you in. Although for some of you…well, you’ll know who you are.”

She presses send and all scrolls start pinging. Voices of triumph were scattered alongside sighs of relief and agitated grunts. Yujin immediately sent her proud 89% to her family and heard their excitement. Tenzen scooted shoulder to shoulder with her, tilting his scroll her way to flash his 100%.

“…Fuck off. It’s my birthday. ” She nudged the snickering boy.

“What can I say? I’m a good test taker.”

Jael had to fumble with her new scroll a bit before finally opening the attachment to see a humble 72%. Honestly she wasn’t proud of it, but her attitude changed as a few of her peers actively began moving from their spot, heading towards an airship or back to their parents as they left.

“They could feel you immediately?” She said softly to herself.

“Yeah.” Said a boy with gray shaggy hair right next to her. “My cousin told me if you miss critical questions or get caught cheating, then you’ll fail immediately. Not that I can confirm this rumor but it makes sense. Huntsmen need knowledge and integrity after all.”

“Makes sense. Although by that logic it sounds like you could fail honorably and stay. At least that’s what it feels like.”

“Hehe, I like that theory.” The boy decided to show her his own score.

Jael wasn’t expecting to see a solid 50% in red. Yet there was a comment below that gave approval to stick around. “And here I was pitying myself. Guess my theory might have merit.”

“Looks like I’m steep climbing.” He laughed nervously.

His lack of confidence was more outstanding than his ability to get half of the possible points. This guy looked pretty sincere though and about a head shorter than her. Grayish blue eyes and deep blue jean shorts that contrasted his white shirt and open black button up. Even his cyan high top sneakers were pretty normal. Jael would’ve thought he was ready for the mall if it wasn’t for the black mechanical spear on his back.

Jael tilted her head as she examined the engravings on the pole and wide arrowhead shaped tip. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“Marcus.” He smiled. “Marcus Graystone. Nice to meet you. And yours?”

“Jael. A pleasure.”

“Likewise.”

As the failures left, Canary took the time to summon a giant Ursa, choosing to sit atop its head. Her eyes scanned for a certain person then checked the time. “Hmm, looks like I’m not the only person who shows up tardy; eh Glynda?” She smiled.

“The difference is you’re not a child. Also I have a pretty good idea on what’s holding them up.”

“Looks like they’re waiting on something.” Tenzen whispered to Yujin. “Any clues on what?”

“It probably has to do with the next phase of the entrance exam, right? Maybe another teacher is coming.”

“Ooo, I hope it’s Professor Peach.”

“Y’know I hear that name occasionally, and yet for some reason it sounds made up.”

Glynda took the initiative to call the examiner. It only took two rings before an answer.

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” A youthful and gentle voice cried out. “The devil's always in the details! Not to mention I took it upon myself to do some grimm dispatches. I know I probably shouldn’t since this is a huntsman academy exam but a particular few-”

“Ms. Aspen. Are you ready?”

Glynda said calmly.

“…Yeah. We’re all set, I'll say.”

“So I’ll have the students move to the next location and meet you there?”

“Mmm, no need for all that trouble. Plus it’s important to have ample time for good decisions. All you gotta do is video call me and point me towards the crowd! I’ll handle the rest.”

“Very well then.” Glynda hit video call and extended her scroll out. “May I have everyone’s attention!”

There wasn’t a single person who wasn’t squinting as they tried to see what was on the scroll.

“Ah, the courtyard. A nearly full one at that. Looks like there’s a bunch of good apples this year.” The young woman said, knowing few would hear her. “Let’s see who’s right for the picking!”

A golden portal opened up a few inches in front of the scroll and everyone’s eyes widened. Although some, like Yujin, had their eyes immediately grow to the size of dinner plates before the portal could fully open for a young woman to come walking out. It was as if radiant sunlight draped the new visitor. Long orangey-yellow fabric hung off her arms and the back of her dress while the front stood at her knees. The embroidered cuffs and the top of her strapless dress was an intricate white pattern that matched her shin high cowgirl boots. The most peculiar thing was the thin golden veil that rested on silky black hair. Her presence was sudden and captivating like a woodland sprite from a fairytale. However, one person was in immense awe from knowing exactly who that was.

“LILITH!?” Yujin all but shrieked in a burst of bumbling excitement before everyone looked her way, including the young lady who now lifted her veil to gaze with left sky blue eye and right amber eye. Yujin’s cheeks turned a crazy shade of red while her hands instinctively covered her mouth after her outburst.

Lilith waved. “Ah, looks like I have a fan in the ranks.” She smiled warmer than her dress. She could tell right now that the young girl absolutely wanted to disappear so Lilith chose to not dwell on the moment and addressed everyone. “Hello my future classmates. As several of you may know, I’m Lilith Aspen. A junior this year at Beacon and currently your examiner.”

Jael gave a long and puzzling look. She could’ve sworn she’s seen this person before. “Aren’t you the girl from the cereal box?” She blurts out casually.

To no surprise, several people look at her like she’s crazy for a second. Lilith on the other hand found Jael’s question pretty humorous. “Haha! If that’s how I’m recognized then perhaps I should listen to Professor Port and put more flair into my combat next time I go to regionals.”

“Please don’t.” Glynda said dryly.

“To answer your question properly, yes. I’m the lady on the Pumpkin Pete’s cereal box. Today though, I am the lady telling you all that the next phase of the exam is…an obstacle course!” She gives a very quiet round of applause. “Now I won’t spoil all the obstacles but the premise is simple. You’ll start at one end of Forever Fall and have to make it to the opposite side. You will be timed and there’s cameras everywhere to monitor both progress and safety. Any questions?”

“Is it a race!?” A girl yelled.

“Uh, essentially. All of you do have to start at once. Anything else?”

Tenzen raised his hand. “Are we going through your portal or taking a ship?”

“Hehe, excellent question.” She giggled. “That is all up to you. I imagine most of you, if not all, have brought all your equipment already. Due to the nature of this particular exam however, it also makes sense to be prepared. Forever Fall is still grimm territory at the end of the day. We have prepared an airship to bring you into town for exactly half an hour near all the approved equipment shops if anyone is feeling underprepared. After that you will get back on the ship and it will take you to the test site. Those who feel well equipped…” she stepped aside and gestured to her portal.

An interesting proposal for sure. The groups muttered amongst themselves, thinking of the best solution. The first to move and gain attention again was Jael. The contestants watched in awe as the girl floated over everyone towards the portal.

“She can fly!?” Yujin was beyond amazed. “That’s an awesome semblance!”

“Yujin, your grandma can turn into a bird and your aunt can turn into scattering petals.”

“Hush Tenzen! Multiple things can be cool! Anyways, let’s get going!”

They both followed Jael’s lead. This entire day was prepared ages ago. Tenzen jumped in feet first while Yujin sheepishly waved after Lilith gave another disarming smile. Yujin darted in quickly before she would do something embarrassing again. Many others began to follow their example while others headed towards the ship. Once all the participants got through the portal, Glynda went through.

“Ms. Schnee?”

“You can go ahead and go through.” She pointed at her family and friends. Raven had already made her own portal. Maybe she figured walking over was pointless with Yujin on the other side. “I’ll ride with them.”

“Kay. Heh, what are the odds of two portal users in the same space? I wonder how hers work?”

“I’ll try giving you an opportunity to ask later.” Canary gave a thumbs up and ran off to the heroes. “Hey! Don’t leave me out!”

Raven turned her head. “Wha- you were closer to the other one!”

“Don’t be like that auntie. It’s been ages since I’ve done this. I like the sensation.” Canary walked through the scarier looking portal. “Woooo~”

Canary’s carefree attitude earned a couple of snickers as others went through. “Looks like she’s in a bit of a better mood than earlier.” Winter said.

Ruby had to agree. “Yeah. I’m relieved. I thought I’d ruin her entire day.”

“Please don’t think like that, or let everything she said get to you. I can’t claim to know my daughter's exact feelings towards you currently, but I do know she still loves you a lot. In truth, that’s probably why she’s taken things so personally.”

“I know…” Ruby sighed. Hindsight really is 20/20 at the worst of times. “I’m sure the talk after the exams will be long, but worth it.” Ruby walked through the portal.

Everyone came out on the other side at the edge of Forever Fall’s forest. Medical staff was prepped and ready on the sidelines while a giant red archway signified the starting point. Glynda was already checking the monitor, double checking all the cameras.

Lilith clapped her hands and cried out, “Everyone ready!?” Earning many confused looks from adults and students.

“Umm aren’t we waiting for the people who went into town?” A shy girl asked in the crowd.

“Oh, about that, nope. It was a tactical lie.” Lilith said casually. “Everyone was given notice ahead of time on what they needed to bring. Failure to be prepared upon arrival is willful negligence.”

“Wait…” Marcus spoke up. “Does that mean getting on the airship meant failing!?”

“I’d think less about the choices you didn’t make and more about the road ahead; literally and metaphorically. The obstacles are vast and your path isn’t strict. My tip to all of you is to make use of the open area. Friendly reminder, you are timed. Starting now!”

A loud buzzer signaled the beginning of chaos as the future students began running through the arch and into the forest. Yujin and Tenzen broke free from the pack immediately by going out to the right and then continuing straight.

Tenzen looked at his friend with curiosity. “You following me?”

“Pfft, get real! Going straight is quicker in terms of distance. However…”

“It probably has the most obstacles. I’m practically a ninja though so I’m not worried. What’s your plan exactly?”

“Play it by ear? It’s not like there’s a marked path best suited for me. Plus I’m sure they aren’t only scoring us on time. Lilith’s words were like Canary’s during the first part. They’re intentionally trying to make us think in certain ways in order to mask others.”

Tenzen was amazed how much thought Yujin was putting into this. She was really trying to give it her all today. “Teamwork.”

“Huh?”

“If I had to take a wild guess, they’ll score teamwork. Everything Lilith said stoked competition but if we’re applying for a huntsman school then teamwork is important.”

That made sense to Yujin. If people failed by choosing to go into town then it wouldn’t be surprising if you could fail by willingly ignoring someone in need or intentionally getting in their way. Okay; her mind was made up.

“Tenzen, let’s have each other’s backs! We’ll also stick our nose out for others in trouble.”

“I mean I was going to do that regardless, but sure!” He grinned.

Jael stuck the trees and was in far less of a rush. A single lunge propelled her several feet to one branch after another as she made her way left and outward. Where less people gathered. She had thought of similar things in regards to Lilith's intentions and decided on pacing herself slower than normal. The obstacles could be anything and while she could easily avoid a lot of things, having others encounter them first could give valuable insight.

Back at the start, Canary and the others caught up with Lilith as she watched the monitors. “I never would’ve guessed a girl like you would use a tactical lie as a way to set up a bigger lie. I feel bad for those kids on the ship.”

“Don’t be. I haven’t failed them by any means.” She smiled in satisfaction. “That was the tactical lie, haha!”

“Excuse me!?” Nora questioned. “So what’s your angle!?”

“I could never fail someone who chooses to prepare with time given to them. Just like I acknowledge the readiness of everyone who decided they’re fully prepared.”

“So you did it to gauge personality?”

“A little. By the time the second group arrives this first one will be done. Luckily the split was fairly even. It’s easier to guarantee safety.”

“So this is the mind of the regional's winner? Not bad at all.” Jaune praised.

“Thank you, but it’s more of the mind of an overthinker if you ask me, hehe. Can’t say it makes for an easier grading scale unfortunately. Such is the price of nuance.”

It was an interesting approach to the exam. Those who did poorly in this group may come off as being too cocky or rowdy. On the other hand, failing after having time to prepare is going to look abysmal for those in group two.

Yang greeted Lilith with her scroll and a new journal she planned on giving Yujin. “Hey, my daughter is never going to ask herself but can she please have your autograph and maybe a photo?”

Glynda clicked her tongue. “Is this really the time to be asking for that?”

“It’s a cute surprise. Plus your eyes are glued to the screen. It’s obvious you have the say in finalizing scores. As if you’d give the control to anyone else.” Yang’s words earned a side eye from her old teacher, but she was right!

Lilith happily signed the inside of the book and held up a peace sign for a quick photo. It was hard not to notice how much the famous Yang Xiao Long looked like the girl who called her name. “By any chance, was your daughter-”

“Yes.”

“Hehe, outstanding.”

xxxxxx

“Achoo!!! Eugh!” Yujin sniffled.

“Uh oh. Getting sick on your birthday? That’s no good.”

“Relax. It was probably the leaves or something. I’m firing on all cylinders! Bring on the first obstacle!”

As if the gods heard her, hidden launchers fired hunting nets and bolas! The girl let out an “eep!” Before jumping over bolas aimed at her legs. Her shirt was quickly yanked by Tenzen, allowing her to avoid a net. She quickly returned the favor when she shoved him away from another net fired to her left. It flew right between them and tangled another pair of bolas.

“Phew! That was- ah!” Yujin yelped as Tenzen talked her to the ground and out from under a falling wooden cage.

Tenzen could not believe they set up an entire cage! Not that it would’ve been impossible to escape but come on! “Why do I have a feeling Professor Port was in charge of this section?” He chuckled.”

“Tenzen?”

“Hmm?” He looked down to see the girl staring right at him, her cheeks a little flushed.

“You can…get off of me now if you want.” She awkwardly asked, clearing her throat with a fake and weak cough.

“…Sorry.” He sprang up, extending his hand to help her up. “I guess I could’ve just broken the cage when I think about it.”

“It’s good!” She dusted herself off. “It’s all good. So uh..should we be…?”

“Yeah! Uuh, yeah…”

They both took off running again. Although this time they weren’t as talkative and extra mindful of their surroundings. Hopefully the cameras didn’t catch that particular moment.

Meanwhile in Jael’s neck of the woods, the girl finally touched solid ground and jogged down a path riddled with soft dirt. Left right left right left right left; every step felt good enough. She assumed pits had to be dug around the place.

“Am I getting lucky?” She asked herself. Right left right left right left ri-

Click

“Hmm!?” Jael froze immediately, keeping her right foot exactly where it was after hearing the mechanical click. She hissed softly. “Shit! Pressure plate; but for what?” There was a lot of foliage. It could easily be a trigger for projectiles or a trapdoor. She doubted it was anything explosive. She could raise her foot and found out. That was always an option.

xxxxx

Jacquelyn watched as her daughter stood motionless on the feed. “What’s on the floor?”

“Launching springs.” Glynda said as she monitored multiple kids. “They aren’t as powerful as the ones we use for the first day of school, but they’ll send anyone flying backwards at least 15 feet. More if they’re unprepared for the recoil.”

“That’s rough.”

Raven shrugged. “I see landing strategies are still highly encouraged for the start. Let’s see Jael’s. She can’t stand there forever.”

“They all waited to see how the girl would take this first obstacle. Only her mother expected the girl’s next move. Every witness Jael simply walk off. Anticlimactic for sure but still surprising! Jael stared at the spot she moved from briefly before continuing her jog. A few seconds passed before the springboard triggered forcefully.

“It was delayed.” Winter said, examining the live feed. “And she isn’t changing her path either.”

“Haha, why would she?” Jackie smiled, raising a single brow. “I told you all already. My daughter has amazing control of her semblance.”

xxxxx

Jael freely walked through this section of the course without fear. Hidden pressure plates weren’t so scary when you’re too light to trigger them. And even if she did, a little extra pressure to keep it still until she got off of one was just as easy.

Jael smirked at her own cleverness. She felt sorry for whoever made this obstacle. Clearly they weren’t thinking about her when they made it.

“Today might be easier than I thought.”

[allwaswell16]

Hi! I might have a weird rec request? Is there any larry fic in which Harry or Louis fake dates someone else to end up together? On the idea of “not even the gods above” (lovely fic)? Thanks!!

Hi, anon! I honestly didn't think there would be as many of these as there are so I was just going to find what I could, but then I ended up with ten of them. Whoops! (Also, I looked at all the fics with titles of Not Even the Gods Above and I couldn't find one where there's fake dating? So now I'm super curious which fic you mean...) Happy reading!

-Fake Dating Someone Else Fics-

When The Stars Come Out by BriaMaria / @briannamarguerite

Louis was about to reassure Harry further when Gemma bounded back over to him, slipping a hand around Louis' waist. Harry’s eyes followed the movement. And then that lip gnaw again. Christ. How was he supposed to survive this weekend?

He turned his attention to Gemma as her palm came to rest right above his heart. Laying it on a bit thick, dear. Or at least that’s what he hoped he’d conveyed with the simple tilt of an eyebrow.

In response, she went up on tiptoes and laid a noisy kiss on the hollow beneath his cheekbone. Louis didn’t take his eyes off Harry, who watched the scene play out with a blank expression. Once Gemma dropped back to the ground, Harry shifted away from them, his gaze dropping to his feet.

[Or the one where Louis pretends to be Gemma's boyfriend for her horrid cousin's wedding but fate is a nasty jerk and throws Harry in his way.]

Back From The Edge by sincewewereeighteen

“Guess my eyes are very blue.” “They are.” Harry agrees easily. “You’ve got beautiful eyes.” “You’re drunker than you think.” Louis snorts. “Why’s that?” “We’ve just met and you said I have beautiful eyes. Only people who are in love say that.” He points. “Maybe I am in love with you.” Harry points back, feeling very smart. Yep. Maybe he is drunker than he thought.

Or: the one in which Harry is a closeted actor who needs to do a PR stunt during his break, only he wasn't counting on falling for his beard's best friend. It gets messy.

Take Me Back to Where We Started by amory

Harry and Louis haven't spoken since they broke up four years ago. As boarding school sweethearts they once spent every waking moment together, but now they can hardly stand to be in the same room. When their five year class reunion comes around, both boys decide against their better judgement to return and (hopefully) have a good time.

The only problem is, they're both still hopelessly in love.

Starring Harry as the petty ex, Louis as the new James Bond, Niall as a boy genius and fake boyfriend extraordinaire, and Liam and Zayn as two friends just trying to make it out of this weekend alive.

Let Our Hearts Collide by crinkle-eyed-boo  / @crinkle-eyed-boo

“Liam is in a coma.” “Yeah, we can see that,” the father says, throwing his hands in the air. “God, this is the most depressing Christmas ever,” the blonde sister mutters. “His vital signs are strong,” Dr. Higgins assures them. “Brain waves are good–” “Brain waves?” the mother wails, taking Liam’s hand in hers. “Oh my God!” “How did this happen?” the father demands. “Um, he was pushed from the platform at the subway station,” Harry pipes up. The entire family turns to look at him, confused. Harry shrinks back, wishing he could have just kept his big mouth shut. “Who’s this?” the father asks, pointing at him. “Um, I’m Harry–” he starts. “He’s Liam’s fiancé!” Jade adds helpfully from where she stands by the door. Every jaw in the room drops, including Harry’s. Oh, shit. Shit shit shit. What?

When Harry, a lonely transit worker, saves the life of the handsome commuter he's been secretly pining for, an innocent mistake results in Liam Payne's family believing that Harry is engaged to their son. In the Paynes, Harry finds the big family he's always longed for...and a love he never saw coming.

A While You Were Sleeping AU

All Hearts Come Home For Christmas by PinkSeelie 

“Gemma, who the fuck is that?” Louis hisses as he watches her wave back with a big smile.

Her brows furrow for a second as she looks at Louis. “What? That’s my brother, you dork. Told you he’d pick us up, didn’t I?”

Well fuck. Apparently, Mr. Handsome over there is Gemma’s brother. And Louis is spending a week with him. Pretending to be his sister’s boyfriend. Shit.

(Basically: Gemma brings ‘her boyfriend’, Louis, home for Christmas and her brother is really hot.)

Harry, Did You Know (that your baby boy, is married to his best friend?) by tempolarriefics / @tempolarriefix

10 years ago, Louis and Zayn made a pact that if they weren't married by 30, they'd marry each other. So they do, as best mates do. Enter Harry Styles, who's new to town. He and Louis are immediately drawn to one another. Louis doesn't tell Harry about Zayn, because they're just friends (who are married.) Harry finds out on Christmas Day, Louis/Zayn's "anniversary".

aka a marriage pact AU with a twist

Feeling Hazy (In the Ballroom of my Mind) by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes

The doors to the ballroom open and violin music fills Harry’s ears, his skin prickling as he tightens his hold on Liam’s arm. All eyes fall on him as he makes his grand entrance next to Lord Payne, Earl of Wolverhampton. According to the media, they’re the couple of the century, but little do they know they’re not really dating. Harry tugs on his collar, the tightness around his neck almost too much. He’ll never get used to being Prince of Cheshire. Not only are wearing his royal garments a pain in the arse, he also hates all of the attention it garners.

There’s only one person’s attention Harry really wants.

Being of the Jealous Kind by zita17 / @louisandtheaquarian

A-list actor Louis Tomlinson and his partner fashion photographer Harry Styles weather the storm that is Louis’ fake relationship with his costar in the lead up to this year’s Academy Awards.

Featuring a fluffy teenage meet-cute, an angsty wine drunk Harry melting down over pap pics, Louis habitually overusing the word “baby,” and cameos by a vintage Umbro sweatshirt, the peace ring, and one hell of a Larry hug.

Or the justice for To Be So Lonely fic. Based on the lyrics to TBSL and a prompt where “Louis has to fake date some celebrity, while his boyfriend Harry sits at home.”

candle wax and polaroids by orphan_account

"I could think of much worse ways, Harry. I look forward to meeting you when you aren't half naked," Louis teased, and Harry swore Louis glanced down at his bare chest.

Harry blushed, watching Louis shut the bathroom door behind him.

And that's how he met his sister's boyfriend.

or, gemma brings her "boyfriend," louis, home for thanksgiving.

Just To See That Smile by homosociallyyours / @homosociallyyours

It's Coming Out Week at university, and Harry's taken on a lot of responsibilities to make everything run smoothly. Finding his roommate's boyfriend attractive is making that a bit difficult, unfortunately. It might help if he realized that said boyfriend (Louis) is really just there to help said roommate (Liam) figure out if Liam's crush (Zayn) likes him back.

But that would make things too easy.

A fic where a hastily faked relationship and a lot of miscommunication almost ruins a perfectly good dance.

[forsythi-amitie]

hate this guy. What is he doing. My thoughts on whatever the hell is going on with him and HiMERU as a whole below. I formally apologize if this doesn't make sense because i think i was actually getting more and more delirious while writing it. At some point, i had a dream with HiMERU in it and he died to the hand of his own clone.

I know that HiMERU(oreMERU) decided to replace his brother in the hopes of being able to preserve his image, his dream, and to not let him disappear into obscurity. It's a noble effort, but at the same time it creates so many problems it's incredible. It's something that's been bugging me on and off for a while now.

For one, kaname is in a coma. I'm not sure if he has the slightest clue as to what's been going on. The idea was that when he recovered, he would just fit back into his place that oreMERU was holding for him, but who knows if that's what kaname really wanted, and who knows if he'd actually be able to do that. I'm thinking about this and so..... He basically has a whole life that he has no idea about?

I would say the current HiMERU is.... I guess "not real" in the sense of it's not actually either one of them. Let me explain: kaname, in a way doesn't exist because whatever personality he had prior to being hospitalized has effectively been replaced? It might be oreMERU emulating him, but it's not the real kaname. That also means that because he's replacing his brother, oreMERU doesn't exist either. He's taken on a different name, hidden any kind of personal information about him, and has abandoned his true self entirely for the sake of kaname. Whatever things he does, or people he makes friends with, it's not him, but HiMERU (kaname). (theoretically)

He speaks in the third person to i guess distance "himself" from "HiMERU", but that suggests even more issues. He doesn't have his own "free will" ? He hates tatsumi who was actually a friend of kaname, but because oreMERU doesn't exist, he has to pretend to still be friends. His likes, dislikes, hobbies..... they're all kaname's (i'm pretty sure they are, right?). Everything he does is the actions of someone else, and not himself. If he wanted to do something that wouldn't match the image of HiMERU, he wouldn't be able to. He had a moment where he had to choose between "his" past as HiMERU, and his new future with Crazy:B, and he ended up choosing the latter because that wouldn't be what HiMERU would do.

That's an issue with how he interacts with others as well, since a lot of the time, he's acting as HiMERU and not his true self? Well, in public anyways. I think the members of Crazy:B are closer to his true self than someone like Tatsumi though. If there's one group of people he'd be able to trust, it would be them, (hopefully?) since they didn't know him previously. (Valkyrie just knows his secret, apparently. Shu literally threatened to cut off kaname's life support. )

I think at times oreMERU feels a certain amount of guilt for being able to live freely and have fun as HiMERU? "He" isn't supposed to be having fun. "He" isn't supposed to even exist. I think that makes his life terribly lonely, since if he lets himself relax and truly enjoy himself, would that really be the "right" thing to do? Although i think he's let himself relax over time, seeing as you can't continue to be miserable and worry forever, right?

In the event that kaname never wakes up.... I'll save that for later.

With his life as HiMERU being continued on by his brother, that sort of puts him in a place where his own identity is erased as well. His actions as HiMERU are not his own. He might have friends, but he doesn't have any memories with them, he has no personal connection to them. HiMERU(oreMERU) does. All of the bonds and close friendships he would've had would be completely built on lies. There's a chance that were he actually able to be an idol and act as HiMERU again, he might not actually want that life after what had happened.

The relationships he'd already had we're altered, and the new ones made were not made by him. In a way, his life no longer belongs to him? How would oreMERU possibly explain that he'd just been filling in for kaname while he was asleep? Or for that matter if nothing is explained and oreMERU just disappears, how would kaname be able to continue on, seeing how his life had essentially continued without him? Honestly thinking about this hurts my head i just cannot see this going well at all. In some way, oreMERU has both everything and nothing, because he's the one going out and building bonds with the other characters, yet they're not his to keep.

I'm not sure if HiMERU had thought of that? Or if he did, then not to the level of which he should've. It's like a lie that snowballed out of control, but it's more like an entire landslide at this point. It's identity theft with extra steps but not exactly identity theft and more of just identity borrowing for an extended period of time. If he ends up fully embracing the identity of HiMERU as part of Crazy:B, then what happens to kaname? If kaname doesn't wake up, then what? Everything he did would've been for nothing (according to his plan).

I could talk about how much I hated HiMERU at first for the sole reason of finding him annoying and not liking his blue hair (i think there's a pattern here.), but I'd say my reasons are more complicated than that. It's actually because for a point in time I'd get one of his cards in every scout i did. This guy won't leave me alone. Well, in all seriousness I don't hate him that much. (I have his new year's card.) He's just so incredibly confusing and terrible and endearing in the best way and it's interesting to see him do all of these things for what could be described as the most selfish selfless reasons ever? I think his true self has begun to show more and more as time goes on, which is a good thing, I still worry about him. I don't want him to be happy and then have it ripped away from him. Maybe I do, just a little. (This keeps me up at night.) (I've gone back to revise this a day after I initially wrote it and reading it makes me feel like I'm the one being plagued with the fear of HiMERU's future instead of him. What is wrong with me. )

I have genuinely no clue what to make of him. Is he alright? I admit I don't think i've read all of the stories about him so if i'm missing something that's why. (sorry) This is also mostly my own personal insight on this. I want HiMERU to be happy. Sometimes. He's a funny guy. He's up there on the top 10 enstars characters who have ruined my life. I have properly capitalized HiMERU in every single instance i typed it out.

[newgenog]

REVENGE

Notes: This is NOT part one of chapter seven. As a reminder, we've switched to weekly teasers for each chapter.

If you're just stumbling across this, and haven't already done so, please stop and start by reading chapter one. 

This #Batwoman AU is based on the ABC tv series #Revenge. Ryan Wilder had just about everything taken from her when we met her, and she was doing her best to get it back. In this version of the story, that means taking some people down along the way. And, she's definitely no hero.

Hopefully you're recovered from chapter 6, and ready for our season finale. I'll try to hold you over with out of sequence and context teasers while I wrap this up. See you next Friday for teaser 2 for chapter 7.

CHAPTER SEVEN SNEAK PEEK

TUESDAY, JULY 10TH, 8:00 PM, THE HOLD UP

Ryan made it through her second day back to work after the holiday that became a regressive spiral into feelings she thought she’d buried, after Angelique put a Crow in a coma, after Luke was attacked by another Crow and hospitalized, and of course after Sophie found out who she was and Ryan crushed her when she admitted she never intended to tell her the truth. In reality, going to work was probably Ryan’s best option, because being left to her own devices at a time like this could result in literal bombs being placed and set everywhere her enemies frequented. But that kind of quick ending wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying as ensuring the plan she’d spent years devising came to fruition, nor would it be fitting enough justice for them. They didn’t deserve quick endings. They needed to experience complete loss and total destruction. They needed to see her thriving in spite of everything they took from her. The only way that would happen was if she got her house in order. 

Fortunately, Sophie did still help, as she'd promised, and at least a couple of Ryan’s obstacles were now less threatening. She hadn’t spoken to Angelique in almost two days, and figured she too was barely keeping it together, wondering when the next Crow would jump out and try to take her down. So, Ryan goes to The Hold Up to give Angelique the news that Sophie had shared with her earlier that morning. She can’t deny that knowing with confidence Sophie won’t be there, because she’s currently on her shift with Luke, has influenced her timing. 

She walks up to the bar and a very worried Jordan greets her. 

Jordan: “Hey, Robyn…how are you holding up?” 

Ryan: “I’ve definitely been a lot better than this, but I’ve also been worse. So…”

Jordan: “I hear that. Well, have you eaten anything?”

Ryan: “A little…earlier…haven’t been super hungry.” 

Jordan: “Not surprising, considering. Why don’t I at least put some of your favorite fries in front of you, and we can see what happens?” 

Ryan: “Look at you, taking care of me…”

Jordan: “I might be concerned about Luke, but you were there…I can’t even imagine what that was like. And, I’m going to guess you’re not leaning on my sister right now… So, yeah, anything I can do.” 

Ryan: “That obvious, huh?” 

Jordan: “Oh yeah…but I’m not worried about you two.”

Jordan winks at Ryan, and she smiles back gingerly, appreciating the hope.

Ryan: “Are you here alone?” 

Jordan: “My mom’s in the kitchen, even though she should probably be heading home soon. But, it’s our TikTok queen’s night off, and with Soph so occupied right now…I mean, it’s hella dead in here, anyway. So it's not like she’s working hard.” 

Ryan: “Wait, who’s your TikTok queen?”

Jordan: “Oh, you didn’t see…?”

Ryan: “I’m not really on socials like that…” 

Jordan grabs her phone, taps it a few times, and then slides it over.

Jordan: “I’m going to go put your order in. Enjoy the show!”

As Jordan walks away, Ryan watches Angelique and another woman feed each other shots, what looks like for the third time based on the empty glasses nearby them. Then she tongues the girl down. As she pulls away, she snatches a panda hat off of her lipstick lover's head, placing it atop her own, and dances away to loud hip-hop music playing throughout the bar. The clip, taken on a customer's phone, has over fifty thousand likes, which is a lot for Gotham. The Hold Up is tagged as the location.

Ryan puts the phone down on the bar, completely furious. What about that was laying low or sticking to her routine? 

Ryan: “Hey, Jordan! Can I get those fries to go? Think I’m just going to head to bed early.” 

Ryan's night is actually about to get a lot longer.

~~~~~

To be continued…

We finish season one and chapter seven in August. Let's do this!

Follow #SaveBatwoman on all socials please! Support the Writer and Actor strikes.

#wgastrike #sagaftrastrike #StopCancellingDiverseShows

[m00ngbin]

hey......... itd be a real shame if you started ranting about the demolition lovers and the stories and lore behind the mcr albums.........................

OH MY GOD YES IT WOULD BE. SUCH A SHAME.

Ok so everyone already knows that mcr like originally started in September of 2001 because Gerard Way and his brother Mikey Way were living in New Jersey when the twin towers fell and Gerard saw it happen because allegedly he was meeting with Cartoon Network executives about a cartoon idea he had and he was like "this was super traumatizing I'm going to start a band where I can vent everything out through songs." (Great idea)

So he starts the band with his brother, (bass), Ray Toro, (main guitarist and backup vocalist), and Matt Pelisser, (drummer), (mainly Matt Pelisser), and in 2002 they release their first album, (MY FAVORITE), I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. (Eventually Frank Iero, (backup vocalist and rhythm guitarist), joins the band but he wasn't there when they formed. He WAS featured on two songs in Bullets though, Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For Both Of Us and Early Sunsets Over Monroeville).

The first song they ever wrote, Skylines and Turnstiles, is about Gerard's feelings about 9/11. It's technically the seventh track on the album but yk. STILL THE FIRST.

Most of Bullets is ab the band members' lives growing up and their experiences watching 9/11 but it's also where they start coming up with the storyline for the Demolition Lovers. ANRJSHEKRJ I LOVE THE DEMOLITION LOVERS

Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge/Demolition Lovers

Ok so the Demolition Lovers storyline is a little confusing and mostly up for interpretation. MY interpretation is that in the song Demolition Lovers, (from the Bullets album), the Lovers are running away from unknown people in the middle of a desert, where they're both shot.

The Demolition Man dies and goes to hell, while the Demolition woman ends up in a coma. (I THINK SHES IN A COMA BC OF THE DRAWING IN THE LINER ART FOR REVENGE WHERE SHES IN THE HOSPITAL).

Then the Revenge album picks up where Bullets left off and we learn that the Demolition Man is told by the devil that if he goes back to earth and kills 1000 evil men he'll be allowed to see the Demolition Woman again.

Of course the Demolition Man is so desperate to see the Demolition Woman again that he says yes, so he goes back to Earth and Give 'Em Hell, Kid starts the story.

He starts in New Orleans and takes a train to an unspecified other place to begin the task. He's really remorseful about it, but he gets super drugged up to stay awake while he finds these 1000 evil men. Atp the Demolition Woman starts feeling kind of abandoned bc I guess she never realized that he had died and she has no clue what he's doing.

The next song, I'm Not Okay, is supposed to touch on how the Demolition Lovers' relationship was kind of toxic and ALLEGEDLY this was originally supposed to be the last song on the album, where it ends with the Demo Man's suicide. Obviously we knew that the Demo Lovers didn't have the most stable relationship but this song was supposed to highlight how bad it was

In the song Ghost Of You, the Demo Man starts reflecting on his actions and how much he misses the Demo Woman. At this point he's worrying that either he won't be able to kill enough people or he'll just never be able to see her again.

Jetset starts with the Demo Man finally getting out of jail and finding a new partner for his killing spree. She wants the relationship to be more, but the Demo Man is still hung up on the Demo Woman. (Obviously, if he wasn't he wouldn't be doing all of this.) Both the Demo Man and the partner are addicted to drugs at this point, the Demo Man mainly so that he can stay awake and cope with what he's doing.

In Hang 'Em High he starts doubting that he can go through with killing all of these people and starts thinking that if he fails, the Demo Woman should go on without him. In Fashion Statement/Deathwish, he regains his confidence and gets much closer to his goal. He realizes though, that even if he does succeed death will eventually bring the Lovers apart again.

In between Fashion Statement/Deathwish and Cemetery Drive the Demolition Woman gets out of the hospital and kills herself. (Helena doesn't technically fit with most of the story but I like to think that it's the Demo Man going to her funeral).

In Cemetery Drive the Demolition Man visits her grave and finally gets to 999 evil men. It's at this point that he realizes that he's been tricked by the devil. He'd killed 999 evil men, but since the devil made him a murderer, he was the 1000th.

In For A Living the Demo Man accepts that he'll never be able to see the Demo Woman again and kills himself. He finally reaches 1000 evil souls and so he actually IS able to reunite with the Demolition Woman in hell.

ARKAHSGFJS. I LOVE THE DEMOLITION LOVERS STORY SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I LOSE MY MIND THINKING ABOUT THEM EVERY DAY. Also like. Disclaimer you don't want a relation like the Demolition Lovers had. I didn't get super into it but their shit was FUCKED UP. Every time I see someone say that they wish they and their bf are just like the demo lovers I have a "hm." moment bc like. Did you even listen to ANY of the songs mentioning them?? Did you read ab their lore?? Do you know ANYTHING about them???

I'm not a gatekeeper or anything I swear I just don't think people should be saying that they want a relationship just like that

OH I TOTALLY FORGOT, during the Bullets tour era Gerard had a faux leather jacket that he wore so often and didn't wash that it literally disintegrated because of his sweat. I think most people know that but what they don't know is that there were TWO leather jackets that he disintegrated. One of them completely fell apart and the other one just lost one of the arms

THE BLACK PARADE

Ok listen I love the back parade but I'm not going to say AS much about it bc I spent most of my time hyperfixated on the Demo Lovers story and Danger Days so I don't know everything. (REMEMBER EVERYTHING I SAY IS AN INTERPRETATION DONT YELL AT ME IF YOU THINK SOMETHING ELSE)

Ok so the album starts with The End, where we learn about The Patient. He's dying and he probably won't be missed, and we get a reflection of his life and his fear of dying.

In Dead!, we learn about The Patient's diagnosis and prognosis. He has cancer and he doesn't have very long to live, maybe two weeks at the MOST. The first verse of the song, ("Did you get what you deserve? The ending of your life," (not said by him)), suggests that maybe The Patient is kind of a piece of shit and he deserves to die. The Patient is deep in denial atp, he's refusing to acknowledge that he's dying but he also wants it to be over.

This Is How I Disappear has The Patient reach out to a past lover, letting them know that they'll be the only one to remember him, and he begs them to keep his memory alive. It's mentioned again that this guy has done horrible things, but we still don't know what yet.

In The Sharpest Lives, we see The Patient start trying to distract himself from his imminent death by partying and drinking. He wrecks what's left of his life and it ends up dragging other people down with him.

After this song, he sobers up and goes to the hospital, where the rest of the album takes place

WTTBP is where he starts reflecting on his life again and accepts that his life is about to be over. Death comes, but in the form of his favorite memory: a parade The Patient's dad had taken him to when he was younger. The Patient's dad had told him that he wanted him to grow up to be a good person, (whoops), and that he can't be by The Patient's side forever.

I Don't Love You has The Patient desperately trying to break off his relationship with his current partner. He knows that his death will be painful for both of them and he doesn't want his partner to have to watch him rot away. (He's being selfless?? Shocker)

In House Of Wolves we get a description of how he sees hell, where he knows he'll end up. Despite everything he doesn't want to burn for eternity. He knows he's a bad person, but he spends the song INSISTING that a lot of people aren't better than him. (Dude🧍)

In Cancer, now that his treatment has started, he feels ashamed of how the chemo is making him look. His hair is falling out, his lips are chapped and faded, he's pale and gaunt, etc etc. He looks like shit pretty much. He already feels dead. He starts thinking selflessly again, trying to say goodbye to his loved ones in a short heartfelt way so that it doesn't have to be long and drawn out and painful. He doesn't want to leave them behind but yk. Life's not fair and he knows it.

Mama FINALLY gives us what he did, and guess what it is. War crimes. He was involved in a war where he committed terrible acts. Things so bad that even his own mother rejects and disowns him. At the point he's at in Mama, he decides to write her a letter where he admits that he's a terrible man and a terrible son, and since he's dying he would like it if they could reconcile and talk.

In Sleep The Patient says that he doesn't regret what he's done, but he wants to leave it all behind and end his life on a high note.

Teenagers is a song that doesn't really fit with the rest of the album, and I'm pretty sure Gerard Way says that it's not the most relevant to the story. There's a couple lines about how The Patient was an outcast in highschool, but most of the song is ab the system trying to control kids and get them to conform.

In Disenchanted, his life starts flashing before his eyes and he reviews it like a movie. He gets really disappointed about his life and how it's ending. He talks about how he could have changed things and that honestly his life was pretty worthless bc he just waited for death.

In Famous Last Words, The Patient is supposedly talking to a loved one, but he's not sure if he's dreaming it bc he doesn't know if he's dead or alive atp. Either way he has accepted that he's dead or about to be and he's at peace with it. (Or as at peace with dying of cancer as you can be)

NOW HERES WHERE IT GETS SUPER INTERESTING. THERES A SPLIT ENDING. Blood is the one that Gerard Way considers the ACTUAL ending, but they also wrote Heaven Help Us as an alternative ending that's technically just as correct as Blood

In Blood, The Patient chooses to stay alive, even though he knows that there's no way he's going to get better. The doctors and nurses that are taking care of him pity him and are only keeping him around for the money.

In Heaven Help Us, he DOES end up dying. Atp he's waiting in purgatory for the verdict on whether he's going to heaven or hell (it's going to be hell)

YAYY BLACK PARADE DONE

Danger Days

AKDOFHADORN OK SO THE STORY LINE FOR DANGER DAYS IS KIND OF CONFUSING BC THERES THREE: THE ONE FOR THE ALBUM, THE ONE FOR THE MUSIC VIDEOS, AND THE ONE FOR THE COMICS

DID YOU KNOW THAT GERARD WAY IS A COMIC BOOK ARTIST AND AUTHOR TOO?? HE WROTE A COMIC BOOK FOR DANGER DAYS AND HE MADE UMBRELLA ACADEMY AND PENI PARKER IN THE SPIDERVERSE MOVIES

So in the album, the first half basically talks about fighting in the desert and recalling the events of the Helium wars (The Only Hope For Me is You). Pretty upbeat.

Then in the middle of the album (Traffic Report) Jet Star and Kobra Kid are apparently killed, leaving Party Poison and Fun Ghoul alive?

The second half of the album deals with more serious themes of sacrifice, the "message", desperation, and, (obviously), sticking it to the man. Vampire Money is the only track set in the "real world," which gets proven by the use of their real names in the opening.

The EP, The Mad Gear and Missle Kid, contains three songs by this fictional band that the Killjoys would have listened to while driving around. The three songs on it are: 1. sex with porno-droids, 2. hooking up with older men in punk clubs, and 3. makes a reference to drinking juice while killing, which is what Val Velocity says in the comic. She might have been copying Party Poison but idk.

In the music videos, (Na Na Na and Sing), the Fabulous Killjoys run around the desert with The Girl, killing dracs. Korse eventually catches up to them and there is a shootout where the Killjoys get stunned and The Girl gets kidnapped.

Then the Killjoys go on a suicide mission into Battery City to try and get her back. They find The Girl who has been held by The Director and fight to escape. During the fight, Party Poison realizes that there are actually people under the drac masks, (one is implied to be Cherri Cola, who was played by Jimmy Urine (ew)), and he freaks the fuck out.

Korse kills him first, and the other three are also killed while trying to escape. The Girl is rescued, (by DJ Hot Chimp? I think?), and goes back out to the desert.

The Killjoys are wrapped up in body bags, but there was supposed to be another music video after Sing (which was cut due to budget issues), and Gerard mentioned in an interview once that he thought the Killjoys never really die because they would sort of spontaneously regenerate like in a video game or something.

There are three parts to the comics. The first is about The Girl, and reveals that the reason the Killjoys protected her was that they believed she was like a messiah. The Killjoys are all long dead by now. This group of teenagers, the Ultra V's, has decided to model themselves after the Killjoys, and the story talks about The Girl's interactions with them and coming to terms with her destiny. It's a coming of age type thing.

The second part talks about two android prostitutes from Battery City, and how they escape.

The third part has Korse as the main character, and reveals that he is gay and he has to hide this from Battery City officials. It's mainly ab him trying to get freedom and escape as well.

The Foundations Of Decay

NEWEST MCR SONG OMFG. It came out in 2022 following MCR's 6-7 year hiatus and URGAHDHFJS ITS SO GOOD. From just the lyrics

"He was there the day the towers fell

And so he wandered down the road

And we would all build towers of our own

Only to watch the roots corrode"

I think at least that part is about Gerard and a callback to why he started the band in the first place.

The whole song is kind of about the band and their history and everything and URGAJHDHFISSH I love this song so much you don't understand. It's very reminiscent of the Bullets era but it's a lot more mature I think.

NOW FOR MY FAVORITE SONG EVER OF ALL TIME: OUR LADY OF SORROWS

Our Lady Of Sorrows is on the Bullets album and it's the best song from any era imo. It's about how far someone will go for their friends and it's a really aggressive way of basically saying that you would die for someone and that you would stand with them against anything.

The song was originally a demo called Bring Me More Knives, and it only had Gerard, Ray, and Matt playing on it. Allegedly Mikey loved the song so much that he managed to teach himself to play the bass decently enough in four days just to join the band and play it.

Some of the demos from (mainly) the Bullets era were called the Attic Demos because they were recorded in the Matt's attic

Matt got kicked out of MCR in 2004, (just after the Revenge album came out), because apparently he was caught stealing. He was replaced by Bob Bryar, and currently Jarrod Alexander is the drummer for MCR

Oh I feel like I should mention that nothing was glamorous ab any of the tours or the band members while they were touring before the hiatus. These were like traumatized 20 something year olds touring the country and doing drugs and becoming alcoholics and it pisses me off so badly when people try to make that era seem so great. There was an entire chunk of the Life On The Murder Scene documentary about Gerard Way struggling with alcoholism and how his hygiene was so bad bc he couldn't take care of himself. That's part of what that jacket disintegrated. Ofc it was also bc touring is disgusting and you don't get a lot of chances to shower and stuff but nothing ab any of that is glamorous

Oh but they're all a lot better now I think. Obviously I don't KNOW bc idk any of the band members but from what I've seen they all at least look better

[keepsmagnetoaway]

X-Men 66 (March 1970)

Roy Thomas/Sal Buscema

Well, this is it: the end of the original X-Men run. After this, the title kept publishing, but it was just reprints of already existing issues for almost five years, until it was revived. See the end of this post for my general reflections on this series and for details on what I'll be reading next, but in the meantime let's see how this all ends up.

Is it with a heartfelt farewell to the team, tying it all up nicely? It absolutely is not. The writers clearly had not learned that the book was about to be cancelled, so in this issue they attempt to wake the revived Professor X from the latest of his many comas, and also incidentaly fight the Hulk, in Vegas.

Hulk is great, we love Hulk, and also he talks properly - that is, not properly - in this issue.

I also really like the art in this issue. It's Sal Buscema, in the only X-Men issue he ever drew, because, again, this title was in chaos and on the verge of cancellation, but it has a nice pop art feel to it, combining some of the wilder effects of Adams with a brighter, cleaner feel which I quite enjoy.

But obviously with hindsight it's a bit hard to care about all this. Here we go, this is the very last panel: my guess is they learned, last minute, about the cancellation, which is why there's a sort of "that's al folks" rather than a tease for the next issue, but clearly the issue as whole was plotted and drawn without this knowledge. What would it have been like to read this in 1970, assuming cheerfully that they'd all be back next month? It's kind of impossible to say.

So...there we go. The standard opinion on the original run of X-Men is that it was very much a B-tier product of Marvel's great 60s golden age: Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were throwing off ideas and characters left and right, X-Men included, but they never gave the mutants the same attention and love that went into, say, Spiderman or the Fantastic Four, and they were also never quite fully integrated into the wider Marvel universe the way the Avengers were.

As a result of this, the title very clearly drifted, changing personnel frequently and seldom managing to launch long-term storylines or to shake things up: efforts to do that tended to fizzle out. Sometimes, of course, the constant chopping and changing led to brief golden moments like Jim Steranko or Neal Adams being assigned to the art, but more often it was a problem for the title.

I think that's prevailing view is basically accurate, although it's remarkable just how much the style and feel of the book changes in this run alone: by the end, even without people like Adams, we're a long, long way from the clunky early 60s stuff.

What struck me more, though, when reading these was how little they seem to be about the X-Men: both in that the villains, or single-issue side characters, often end up driving the plot and having the more interesting personalities, and in that the whole "hated and feared mutants" thing crops up only very seldom, and never consistently. The idea of X-Men as a character- and team-driven story about outcasts from society really isn't here: that comes out of the team's 70s reinvention, which I look forward to getting to.

But not yet! Because once again my trusty reading guide is instructing me to pause in the strictly chronological-publishing order to instead read a number of later stories that have been set in the period between the end of the original team's run and the 70s revival. These look like a really interesting mix: there's some more First Class (sigh) and another First Class-esque series going back to fill in the gaps, but alongside them there's a smattering of early 70s comics from other series in which the X-Men popped up as guest stars to remind everyone that they weren't dead yet, and then there's some prequel series that lay the (retroactive) groundwork for some of the major 70s characters like Wolverine and Emma Frost. All told these should keep me busy for a couple of months, and then it'll be into the classic 70s run. See you next time...

[grimmmviewing]

S1E22: “Woman in Black”—C+ (Watched 7/26/24)

Odd as it might be, I’ve always had this vague fascination with synopses of TV episodes, especially finales—something about the way they reduce so many minutes to several lines of bullet-point-worthy moments and particularly the special energy of the final moment of a given episode. The “worthiness” of it, in a sense.

Reduced to a summary like that, I think “Woman in Black” has exactly the vibe you want in a season finale for a show like Grimm. With regard to my weird interest, it has a satisfying amount of action and a number of callbacks to previous episodes, and it ends on an appropriately climactic revelation—that the titular Woman we’ve been seeing throughout the episode is actually Nick’s mother that he/we thought was dead. (In retrospect, I knew she wasn’t dead but had just forgotten over the years.)

The assumed dead parent actually being alive isn’t just a fine-enough reveal that any show could have ended on, though. It also works well for Grimm specifically as a bookend to a season that began with family as a focus, with Nick losing his aunt Marie, the closest thing to a parent he thought he had. To end with the (re)introduction of his mother makes a lot of narrative and/or “artistic” sense. I was hoping that they’d re-use “Sweet Dreams” as well to circle back to the start of the season, but I suspected that wouldn’t actually happen. What is here is definitely… fine, engaging enough for what it is.

The big downside of an episode as stuffed as this one is, though, is that there’s not much to chew on, in stark contrast with the previous few episodes. Maybe that actually qualifies as justification of a sort—“Big Feet” can be a bit more interesting and creative and thoughtful, while the finale goes hard on action and pure, straightforward dramatic beats, which include a somewhat extensive brawl at the end between Nick and the last of the “Three Coins in a Fuchsbau” crew involved in the deaths of his family. I thought it was much better than the Nick-Adalind fight in “Love Sick,” though Nick’s vague Grimm abilities that I guess let him tangle with a trained fighter like this Akira Kimura remain a point of frustration for me. I’m not a Power Level-obsessed person, but exactly what Nick is capable of (or, more critically, what his limit is) is something that could have been more clearly established. I’m going to argue that that sort of definition and growth is part of the appeal of a show like this, though obviously there’s no predefined suite of “powers” for people to anticipate like there was in something like Smallville. I still appreciated the sustained melee action, however.

At the beginning, “Woman in Black” looks like it’s going to focus hard on the Akira Kimura angle, but there’s a big detour in the middle involving Juliette that may derail the pace of things. The obvious fairytale reference is tied to this plot, where Adalind (a witch) arranges for a bespelled cat to scratch Juliette (a beauty) at work, which eventually puts her into a coma (sleep). It’s incredibly slight in terms of an adaptation, I think, but the personal stuff with Juliette is still great since her relationship with Nick is a favorite part of the series for me. It’s just that I also felt like it pumped the brakes on the energy from the other conflict and that it could have been better paired with a more mundane case of the week so that it could more smoothly “steal” the spotlight.

From a craft perspective, I can definitely appreciate the “have your cake and eat it too” approach that the writers took here: Obviously, Nick telling Juliette about his Grimm work is a big, juicy chunk of drama the audience would love to feast on, but by having Juliette fall into a magical sleep during the attempted explanation, that lets them indulge the drama but also essentially punt on truly resolving things. Between seasons, they could (if they didn’t already know) decide if they wanted her to remember any of this or if they wanted to draw out the tension of her not knowing for longer.

A fair number of the callbacks I mentioned before are tied to this thread, as Nick takes Juliette to the trailer (and then to Monroe’s) to try to show her the truth and convince her that she needs to be worried about the cat scratch. This attempt is… bad, but I think intentionally so. As I mentioned before, I like Nick and Juliette as a couple. Their teamwork is a highlight of the episodes where it actually happens (see “The Thing With Feathers,” especially). I thought Nick would handle this better based on the precedent of their usual interactions. I’m going to just paste in a little chunk of my notes for “Woman in Black” below, as it shows the strength of my feeling about this major element of the episode from right as I was watching things unfold:

“You want the truth, you’re going to get it.” < Nick to J during their arg about Adalind and why Nick’s so suspicious of her and insistent about J getting her cat scratch seen by a doctor. Like, this ain’t good boyfriend! Vague! Threatening! Bad Nick!

Of course, the writers know this, and that’s why Nick’s desperate rant in the trailer comes off like what it is (a desperate rant from an increasingly sweaty-looking guy). It wouldn’t make sense for Juliette to not be scared! After doing this reflection, I added a “+” to the episode score solely because of this sequence and how thoroughly it got under my skin. The fact that I didn’t like it was probably the goal, and I simultaneously expected Nick/his writers to handle this moment better when it came while also wondering how you would “realistically” pull this off. I may have actually told Nick (to the screen) to focus on the fur Juliette found in “Big Feet,” which had her wondering about this stuff on her own. Maybe if he had led with that instead of all but throwing books and morning stars and terms like “Verrat” at her…

I wasn’t pleased with how he put Monroe on the spot about revealing himself to Juliette to make her believe either! It feels like the possible nadir of the more transactional side of their relationship, where Nick only spends time with or talks to Monroe about what amounts to work. I couldn’t say exactly if my opinion of “Woman in Black” would be better or worse if it had somehow ended on the Juliette plot rather than with the mother reveal. Although, to be fair, the coma stuff is also a good fit for a season finale.

[yoonyia]

dying because I thought about miro Jane for 2 seconds and it's so upsetting

it's also very much what orson scott would do and i don't know how to feel about that

like that was my goal

buttttt

Jane is dying because Jane Val can't really hold Jane together that well, Jane is too much that it kinda exhausts the connections pretty quickly, unexpected thing that happens is one of Jane and Miros sons are also dying, and Jane had a strong enough philtonic connection with her kid to become her kid

miro dosent want that because how can I love my child when he now contains the person I called my wife, how can I love you or him the same way, I will lose both of you and have to deal with a stranger that reminds me of all the people I lost, all that could have, should have, been

don't you see what you're doing to me Jane, don't leave me I need you, you can't leave me so soon

and Jane being Jane is like

love me anyways, I'm sorry I only know one love, I dont know the difference between wife and child but I will love you in whatever life I am, ill still be me and I'll be our son too, love me as your wife if you must, love me as your child if you can, or simply just love me if I'm a stranger

I'm sorry I have to leave you, but I cannot give up the human life just for you miro

you mean so much to me but my life means a lot too, I won't leave you miro I love you but let me live on. If not for me then for the sake of faster then light speed travel, or think of it as repayment for giving you back your body, anything to make this ok.

Then miro being miro will be like

Nothing jane, nothing will make this ok, i will look for you everyday, i will hate my child, I will curse him for stealing you away from me and I will destroy myself without you, then i would drive myself insane for hurting you, dont leave me, dont leave me and then start begging at the feet of her bed

then jane will say some sappy stuff she saw online like Good bye my husband, I will love you once more and forever. and then die and then their son would wake up from a coma in perfect health and his 2 older siblings would rejoice and then miro would see Jane die and cry the most depressing cry you've ever heard then proceed to become abusive and hateful and self destructive (like mother like son i guess) and Jane son (I don't have a name for miroane children yet sorry) would just watch being really sad and act sometimes like a child and sometimes like Jane and most people would be like "oh he's so much like his mom" and miro would be absolutely livid

I dont know man thoughts

also ignore the bad writing I genuinely do not have the mental capabilities to make it good right now (or ever, really)

also more about Jack the fish

he can't die

well he can but it's the "dosent die unless killed" thing

so he's just kinda chilling seeing everyone go through horrible horrible situations (he also speaks for Peter 2s and si wang mus death if that means anything)

there's this story idea I had of a world 2000 years FURTHER into the future of Jack chilling on this almost eternally autumn planet and then meeting one of Jane's or enders or even beans descendants and then taking her on a joy ride across colonies then trapping her on an ocean planet (his home planet) because he just kinda forgot about her

he didn't mean to trap her he just forgot and ruined this poor girls life

I'm thinking of there being an ending of all the fishes slowly dying out on his home planet and Jack just getting the whole of the fish aiua in his body alone making him have a full consciousness and not like, 1/324th of one. and that whole aiua being shoved into this one human body messes with him and sends him into either insanity or really really bad depression. And he's less "oh yea this is how humans are supposed to act, mhm yes definitely" (proceeds to be a pretty convincing human) and more "yea I'm a bunch of fish in a human fleshcoat and I have to deal with that, yea I'm weird I can't really do anything about it sorry"

so he chases down jane (who's currently now some Latino lady in her late 30s) and talks to her and makes her upset because he's being a real big bummer right now, like dude you ok

and then he goes to the lustainia and sees the piggies and the hivequeen and they talk about him technically being an alien just like them and that he should get a book too and it's upsetting that ender is dead and isn't there to write it

then he says something like "well jane didn't a book either, you 2 were lucky" and they just all kinda sit together in the now more genetically diverse lustania and then he gets a call from the kid and she's not a kid anymore she's like 70+ and dying and she just wants to leave for gods sake so he brings her to lustaina while she's dying and let's her die in his arms or something and he lies there next to what used to be where rooter was, and just quietly sing or hum or something and all the aliens that exist (cause jane is in the trees remember) all sing a chorus and it kinda ends there

I dont know what to do with the ending it's just kinda there

I dont mind it that much but I will probably change it

enderverse brainrot is real and its not fun

also what are your thoughts about bean body dysmorphia

also also I really wanna talk about Achilles but the other one

what is his name? Arkansas?

THAT WAS NOT WHAT I WROTE BUT THATS HILARIOUS

anyways I love him, I remember I loved him

need more that dude

anyways gonna draw for Palestine now good bye