#my last FULL rewatch was directly after i finished the show because i wanted to watch it with my dad

[awphowonse]

I’m forgetting the order of events of FMAB.

I think it’s time again.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 16 part one

(Masterpost of All the Recaps)  (Canary’s Pinboard)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes

All righty, this one is going to be a laff riot...not. Let's do it.

The first half of this episode is like a beautifully executed standalone tragedy, while also threading together all sorts of themes and paying off all sorts of relationship building that's happened in the previous episodes. My hat is off to the writers, while I also shake a fist at them for making me cry an unreasonable amount.

We’re Sailing on a Strange Boat

The episode starts right off absolutely DESTROYING me with the Yunmeng brothers holding hands, fingers interlaced, in the first of many hand-touching moments that punctuate the episode.

Jiang Cheng has to be pretty far gone to accept this degree of comfort and tenderness. I think, from their positions, he is also holding Yanli's hand out of the camera's view. 

Zidian finally lets the trio go, and they immediately turn the boat around and head back to Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian gets the clever idea to turn the benches into makeshift oars but nobody gets the clever idea to use magic to push the boat like they do literally every other time they are in a boat. 

Their emotional need to go back to Lotus Pier is understandable, but they are being disobedient and irresponsible by doing it. Jiang Cheng is the future of the clan, and should not risk his life, particularly after his mother chose to sacrifice herself to protect him and after both of his parents told him to go hide with his sister and personal bodyguard brother. 

On the other hand, Jiang Fengmian, as clan leader, probably had a duty to go into hiding himself rather than go home to die romantically, so his authority is questionable at this point. Anyway, this is the Jiang Clan, they get to kind of do what they want, except when that pisses Jiang Cheng off.

Lotus Pier Massacre

Back at Lotus Pier, the Wens are kicking Jiang ass. The fight choreography is pretty good, taking full advantage of walkways, railings, pools, and other features of the environment. 

Using the set this way always makes fights feel more kinetic and real, as opposed to simply sparring in an open area. 

(more after the cut)

Yu Ziyuan is fighting adequately with a sword, having given her preferred weapon to her son.  She's clearly been at it for a while, and is tiring; the Wen soldiers are starting to land more and more sword blows but no critical hits yet.

Wen Zhuliu is kicking ass and possibly melting cores, although we don't see him do it to anybody yet. Later we'll hear from Jiang Cheng that he crushed the cores of his parents, but it's not clear when that happens.

Sixth young master replays Jiang Fengmian's entire archery lesson in his head while he waits, and waits, for Wen Zhuliu to finish strangling a dude the right moment to shoot an arrow at Wen Zhuliu. 

Homicidal tart Wang Lingjiao notices him lining up a shot, strolls over, and stabs him in the back while he's still thinking about what Jiang Fengmian said. One could wish that JFM's archery lessons weren't quite so wordy. 

Wang Linjao normally doesn't carry a sword because of her low spiritual power, but apparently can use one just fine when she's killing kids.

If you start feeling like this episode is unreasonably painful, just think of it as building up calluses so you can handle Yi City when the time comes.

Jiang Fengmian to the Rescue

Jiang Fengmian shows up very far past the nick of time, although he is not actually useful, so it's questionable whether arriving earlier would have helped. But his wife is glad to see him.

Netflix subtitles say that Jiang Fengmian calls Yu Ziyuan "My Lady!" which sounds courtly and romantic in English. His actual words are "San Niangzi" which hunxi-gullai breaks out here.  I might render this as "lady wife!" rather than "my lady" but I don't think English really has a perfect equivalent.

Jiang Fengmian sails across the courtyard, knocking down a few Wen soldiers and becoming a young, slender man in the process.

I mean, come on, that stunt double does not look like a boxy middle-aged man from any angle.

The Dying Bit

The episode splits up the big death scene for dramatic effect but I'm recapping it all together to keep things simple.

Within moments of arriving, Jiang Fengmian gets shanked by Wen Zhuliu like Scatman Crothers in The Shining (or Groundskeeper Willie in The Shinning).

Wen Zhuliu stops a Wen soldier from finishing JFM off, just so that a different Wen soldier can deliver the killing blow from the back, which is kinda harsh. With all this spin-fighting there is probably not an implication of cowardice when someone dies from a stab in the back, but still. Too rude, Wen Zhuliu.

Yu Ziyuan sees Jiang Fengmian fall, and after having a moment of sorrow and despair, she stabs herself in the heart, falls down, crawls to him and interlaces her hand with his. He revives just enough to give her hand a squeeze and say "San Niangzi" one last time before dying. 

She dies next, with a smile on her face at the end. The soundtrack plays that amazing "horribly emotional death scene" music that isn't one of the tracks available on the OST, argh. This same music appears at the end of Xue Yang's story.  

Of the many things I love about the Untamed, the complexity of all the minor characters is possibly my favorite. These two people suck at parenting, and suck at being married, and ultimately suck at protecting and leading their clan, making stupid, selfish choices at every step of the building conflict. 

And then they have this incredibly romantic death scene, in which they both face the inevitability of failure, and find comfort in failing together. Yet their death scene is totally in keeping with who we know them to be, and who they are to each other; the drama doesn't cheat by making them ideal lovers or great people at the end. But they have a great, great moment.

Jiang Yanli, waiting in the woods while her brothers are presumably running toward Lotus Pier, drops her lotus pendant, which is made of the loudest jade ever discovered, and it breaks with a crash.  

Yanli, who is a well educated young lady, knows a moment of doomy symbolism when she sees it.

Jiang Yanli: Who put a giant rock out here in the woods? What are the odds I’d drop my pendant directly on it? 

It’s all Over Except for the Crying, Running and Choking

The brothers climb up on the roof and are shocked to see nothing but Wen soldiers and piled up Jiang corpses... 

...including one child who is either about to become a zombie or who is being played by a young actor who can't control their curiosity, judging by the way this eye is sneakily opened while the camera is running.

There's a moment where Jiang Cheng is saying they must have spared his parents, they must be okay, where Wei Wuxian's face is just...wow. You can see right here the gulf in life experience between these two. 

Wen Zhuliu roams around looking troubled while searching for more people to kill. He’s an interesting villain; someone who believes his loyalty to his boss makes him a good guy, but knows his boss is a bad guy. 

Then we are treated to a hell of a camera move, where it tracks over Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Fengmian together on the floor, heroic in death and still holding hands, and then sweeps up to show their killers sitting on the lotus throne. 

The dead couple were at odds for their whole lives together, while the evil people who killed them are acting like devoted lovebirds. It's a stunning shot and a terrific thematic contrast. When Wei Wuxian eventually comes to take his vengeance, he will spend some time turning Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao against each other, before ending them. 

The camera shows us JC's reaction, then shows his mother, then WWX’s reaction, then JF; each reacting to the death of the person who loved them. Some folks may feel that Jiang Fengmian actually did love Jiang Cheng but was just bad at showing it. But Jiang Cheng doesn't think so, and I don't think it's a given that parents love their children.

Side note: Macroexpression king Wang Zhuocheng is able to open his eyes so far that a giant strip of white shows above his irises, and keep them like that, which is quite a trick. Try it yourself.

Meanwhile Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao gossip about YZY and JFM's bad marriage. Wen Chao admires YZY's beauty, and Wang Lingjiao insults her character, and announces that she's going to stab YZY's body a few extra times. Jiang Cheng briefly faints at this, taking a page from Wei Wuxian's book, and rolls off the roof. 

Run Run Away

Both young men run, and run, and run away from Lotus Pier while Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao mistreat the bodies of Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan 

The stabbing happens off camera, because it's ok to stab a live child on camera, but not a dead adult. (As always, there are cultural reasons for "what's ok" in any country, and I'm not saying anybody's wrong about these choices). 

Wen Chao follows this up with pouring a cup of wine across their faces. He does this in the style of a libation for the dead, but as a desecration, combining mistreatment of bodies with profaning a ceremonial rite. In a world where ghosts are real and have sharp fingernails, this is deeply, deeply stupid.

Yu Ziyuan’s actress Zhang Jingtong is able to have liquid poured INTO HER EAR without flinching. Mad props.

The brothers eventually finish running and arrive in a field with an extreme purple photo filter on it. Which I've done my best to remove for these gifs, with variable results. 

Jiang Cheng wants to turn around and go back to Lotus Pier. He says he wants to retrieve his parents’ bodies and to take revenge, but he's devastated and it seems likely he just wants to die with everyone else.  

Wei Wuxian pleads with Jiang Cheng to calm down and stay safe, while Jiang Cheng gives himself over to anger and shock as the brothers shout at each other.

Punching and running ensues, and Wei Wuxian tries to hold his brother back, grabbing him around the shoulders him in a gesture that painfully echoes the many hugs he's given over the years. 

This time Jiang Cheng doesn't just push him off. He turns around and chokes his brother for nearly a full minute, while screaming at him and blaming him. 

Just as when Madame Yu beat him, Wei Wuxian doesn't fight back; he pulls on Jiang Cheng's wrists but doesn't hit him or try to break his hold.

Finally Jiang Cheng lets him go, and cries out for everyone he's lost, while Wei Wuxian weeps silently next to him. Eventually they fall asleep in the grass together, their bodies curled up in the form of a heart. 

Damn, this episode really brings it.

Side Note: during their argument, Wei Wuxian says, among other things, that "revenge is a dish best served cold," according to subtitles. It's a French saying from the 1800s so it's probably not precisely what Wei Wuxian is saying. More importantly, as a longtime Star Trek fan I can't help but hear James Kirk yelling "KHAN!!!!!" whenever I encounter that phrase.

There’s Got To Be A Morning After

When they wake up in the morning, Jiang Cheng is still in his feelings, but now his feelings have moved along to despair, from anger.

I feel bad for noticing how handsome they both look in this scene. Let's all feel bad about this together.

Jiang Cheng is free to have this level of emotional breakdown because Wei Wuxian is there keeping his own shit together and focusing on what matters.

When Jiang Cheng refuses to get up, Wei Wuxian reminds him, very, very gently, that they have a sister, who has waited all night to know what happened.

At this, Jiang Cheng gets up, but won't look at Wei Wuxian, continuing to blame him for everybody else's actions, as he walks onward to find Yanli.

Wei Wuxian follows, hurt and bereft, as he gets to work internalizing everything that he's being accused of. This is good practice for his future as a widely reviled bogeyman.

Part two will be slightly less awful! Coming soon!

[gem-rewatch]

SU rewatch- S1E11- Arcade Mania

Hey, long time no see!

I’m desperately bored in solitary quarantine at university right now, and decided to try and pick this SU rewatch series up again for fun. It’s been a while since I’ve watched through the show in order. Plus, now that this show is completely finished, there’s plenty more connections to make. I can’t promise I’ll be consistent with this, but at the very least I can have fun trying to make a few more posts at my leisure.

Anyways. With that business out of the way. Let’s get right on to the show!

We begin with yet another mission Steven’s guardians have brought him along on! I believe this is the fifth mission we know of that he’s accompanied them on so far. (Lunar Sea Spire, Inverted Pyramid, the unknown mission he returns from in Tiger Millionaire, the desert, and now this one.) It’s really sweet seeing the Gems begin to trust him tagging along more often. There will come a day in the near future where missions become routine for Steven, but in these early episodes, you can really tell that each and every one is a brand new adventure.

In terms of plot, though, this episode is honestly Future Vision: The Prequel.

We learn a lot about Garnet’s abilities and her role in the team here, even if all of these details aren’t spelled out word-for-word quite yet. Hints towards her future vision we see this ep include:

Garnet moving ahead of the group to be in the perfect spot to catch Steven when he falls.

Her flawless moves while fighting and dodging the monsters.

Her becoming a master at the rhythm game later in the episode.

Like, damn. Look at this.

Look at her go.

My Q U E E N!

I had to gif all of this just because it’s such a beautiful and smooth sequence of animation.

If there’s one thing all of the Crystal Gems can 100% agree on, it’s that Garnet is friggin’ amazing.

Garnet: “Let them go. They’re just parasites. If they want to be a problem, they’ll have to answer to me.”

So, does this statement mean that- at this present moment- her extended stay at the arcade was entirely beyond her future vision? That the only futures she saw were ones where she was actually present to deal with containment of the Gem parasites? Given that later scenes insinuate she’d never been to the arcade before, and would have no “data” about its games to factor into her internal understanding of the world, this seems likely.

I adore the gradual palette change here, from shadow, to setting sun. It’s a nice detail that adds so much more life to what could otherwise be a rather mundane transition scene. It seems like unique palettes were more common in early SU- I wonder why Crewniverse stopped implementing these as often later on?

Pearl, entering the arcade: “Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.”

Thanks, Pearl. Love you too. <3

This sequence of Pearl failing at playing a car chase/road rage game hits so much different knowing what happens in Last One Out of Beach City. It’s genuinely radical how far she grows in confidence from this point, because here, she seems so shackled to rules and guidelines. Now that we know about her rebellious past, it might be tempting to write this characterization off as “early series weirdness,” but... I don’t think that’s what’s happening here.

Instead, I wonder if she’s working through grief-related regression.

Think about it... the pain of Rose’s passing is still so fresh for her. She was a rule breaking rebel once, yes, but she spent all of those days at Rose’s side. And I get the sense that she’s poured so much of herself into keeping Rose safe, into the rebellion against Homeworld, that without those, she’s caught in a vacuum. What IS her purpose now, when the very person she rebelled for is gone?

So she slips back into old pearl-like habits. Chronic rule following, and a fear of deviating from norms. How familiar. Thankfully, much of her arc throughout the show is her directly growing beyond these habits to live boldly as her own Gem.

The friggin video game when Garnet knocks its head off: “TELL MY WIFE I’M SORRYYY!!!”

Yo, what the fuck. This line is both hilarious and messed up, all at once. Please tell me the game isn’t sentient.

Aaaand here we finally introduce Garnet to the video game sensation that is Meat Beat Mania! This game is perfectly suited to her and her power of foresight because its patterns are algorithmic and not vulnerable to spontaneous deviations, and thus easy to predict, with enough input. She’s probably getting a quick rush of satisfaction with every correct move, and she barely has to exert any energy with her future vision to get that rush. After years and years of wading through endless possibility at every avenue, this video game’s patterns must be a rejuvenating breath of fresh air.

It’s addicting.

...Kinda makes me think of how I get sometimes when I play solitaire on my phone for an hour straight. After a while, I barely even think, I’m just shuffling through my deck and moving cards almost on automatic. I don’t have to use much energy to play, and it gives me animated fireworks every time I finish a match. It’s a win-win.

Amethyst: “I’MMA WIN AN AIRPLANE!”

I don’t know what it is about the way Michaela Dietz says the world “airplane,” but this makes me laugh every time. Does... does she think she can win a genuine airplane here because she saw Onion win a tiny motorbike from the ticket booth?? Amethyst, oh my god. XD

She’s got the spirit, this wild child.

So, moving on- we meet up with our crew later the next morning, Garnet nowhere to be seen. There’s an interesting exchange I’d like to highlight real quick-

Pearl: “If we’re supposed to fight a giant foot, Garnet would let us know.” Amethyst: “Yeah, Garnet’s the boss!” Pearl: “Well, we’re all a team. Garnet just has heightened perception that guides us towards our mission objectives.”

Considering the specific phrasing Pearl uses here- “heightened perception” instead of “future vision-” did Garnet outright tell the two of them to not explain her powers, just like she told them not to mention she’s a fusion? Because I’m pretty sure no one ever uses the phrase “heightened perception” again in reference to her powers.

Given the fact that Garnet chose to keep the knowledge of Ruby and Sapphire under the table until she felt Steven could understand her better, my guess is that this is a similar scenario.

Ahah, I genuinely can’t tell if this is Steven being gullible, or just impulsively playing along with Amethyst’s antics. Still- gross, kid. Don’t wipe your wet cereal face on your shirt! Ew! :O

When he goes outside and starts to use a kiddy metal detector to scan for quarters... so THAT’S where he finds his arcade money! Because I can’t imagine Greg is financially able to give him that much to spend on non-essentials at this point in the show.

Okay, so... I just want to bring light to the fact that Garnet has literally been in this arcade ALL NIGHT LONG.

It was evening when she first arrived here- the sun was visibly setting in the background, and when Steven, Amethyst, and Pearl left, the sky was dark. But now it’s morning. Steven was just seen eating breakfast. And Garnet is STILL HERE.

Does this mean Mr. Smiley locked her IN? I have so many questions... Did he try to get her to leave, only to be intimidated by her complete lack of response? I would kill to know more about this interaction. Poor Mr. Smiley. That man deals with so much bullshit in this town, huh?

Geebus, is Garnet a solid wall. Previous episodes have shown Steven forcibly shoving whole tons of food, and swinging a mini-freezer over his head, and yet he can’t get her to budge even an inch.

I absolutely adore how he climbs up her frame like a koala, though, ahah. Cute.

Meat Beat Mania announcer: “That’s rare!!” Steven: “Oh my gosh...!”

I take these two lines as evidence that this is the first time Steven’s ever seen Garnet’s eyes. Specifically, the fact that there’s three of them. Which, makes sense- since Garnet is still really reserved emotionally at this point, and is only begins to get in the habit of taking her visor off to show Steven her full face later on in the show.

This expression deeply hurts me.

Steven’s so distraught here- because the others are in danger, the town is in danger, and he doesn’t have his trusty, dependable guardian who catches him when he falls and beats up scary monsters for him. Without her, the whole team is vulnerable and blind.

He feels alone. He feels... powerless.

And so he responds to that confusing, powerless feeling by trying to compensate with his own power. When all other routes he can think of fail, he smashes the video game console.

It... uh, it works... but once again, Steven entirely fails to consider the consequences, huh? He experienced a little bit of character growth in this regard in the episode Serious Steven, but even past that it’ll remain an recurring issue for him. Hell, his impulsiveness is a general character flaw even stretching into SUF.

In summary, though:

Poor Mr. Smiley. He works so hard, and doesn’t deserve this BS. ;-;

[popculturebuffet]

Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: “Morpholomew” (American Dragon Long): Stop Trying to Make Am Drag a Thing (Commisson Done For WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! And welcome to a brand new retrospective/story arc/thing from yours truly, comissoned directly by WeirdKev27. If you’d like to comission your own review or set of reviews like this one, it’s 5 bucks. Just contact me via my ask box or direct messages on this very blog or my discord technicolormuk#6550.

With Shadow Into Light in the books, Kev decided he wanted to comission something not duck related and a bit smaller as a buffer before the next big arc, ALL of three arcs from season 2 of Ducktales, and decided to go with something he suggested to be a while back as a possible future retrospective: The Lilo and Stitch Crossover episodes! 

That’s right for the next three weeks, with TWO reviews this week since I had a spot open up and Kev paid for this one in full and way in advance, we’ll be taking a trip to Hawaii to visit everyone’s faviorte little girl, her best friend/pet/killing machine as they try to find homes for his 625 cousins. 

I loved Lilo and Stitch when I was a kid: Disney admitely got their hooks in me on that one with their cool prequel comics in disney adventures. These comics set up the movie, showing Jumba creating Stitch and the events leading up to both getting captured. The movie did not disapoint with cool character designs, a drop dead gorgeous recreation of Hawaii, and a really heartfelt, heartbreaking and heartpumping story of loss, family, and ving rahmes voicing one of the few heroic child services workers i’ve seen in a medium, a refreshing change of pace. The film is a masterpiece and I really do need to watch it again sometime. 

Given the series was a huge hit and that thsi was before the big lull in the late 2000′s and early 2010′s where Disney refused to make any tv shows based on their movies, a series followed, given a lead in by the direct to video movie Stitch.

The movie set up the basic premise; 624 capsules containing Jumba’s previous experiments, cousins as Stitch calls them, ended up raining over Kauai, awakening when dropped into water or any other liquid. Lilo and Stitch, with help from Jumba, his live in boyfriend Pleakley, her tought but fair sister Nani, and her boyfriend David, who dosen’t show up as much as i’d like but is my boy so he gets a mention here. But anyways our heroes try to reform the various engines of distructoin who all have unique powers and find them their one place they truly belong. 

So yes the show was a Mons-type show clearly captalizing off pokemon.. but the slice of life setting as opposed to the shonen style of most shows following in pokemon’s wake, gave it it’s own unique feel: while our heroes did fight, it was more about shenanigans, adventures and what not with these unique creatures and the purpose is very heartflet: Lilo simply wants to give these guys the same kind of love and support she’s given Stitch and a chance to do good. 

Opposing them is Gantu, the shark bounty hunter from the first film who, now out of a job, is working for Dr. Hamstervile, an imprisoned sceintest and a character I really don’t like that much as he’s not funny or a genuine threat or both and feels like a waste of time. Thankfully he’s not the focus and Gantu is instead partnered with 625, my faviorite Lilo and Stitch character. 625, as the name suggests, is stitch’s immediate prototype.. but unlike Stitch is too lazy and peaceful to be a real threat and isn’t even really a villian despite being on Gantu’s side. He’s busy making samwitches, his calling to the point when he gets a name in the finale movie it’s naturally Ruben, and snarking at gantu. He’s sadly not in this one but hopefully it’s JUST this one. 

As you can tell I liked this show a LOT at the time. I haven’t watched it since, mostly because disney scarely replayed it after it’s run, but it was vibrant, fun and intresting and a nicely laidback and creative take. The fact I came into the franchise with the comics and thus 625, who was introduced there in fact, and had a hunger to know more about the other experiments certainly helped. It was great fun. 

But while I grew up with the show and the four shows it teamed up with, i’ve never seen these episodes before these reviews. I wondered why for years as I caught the tail end of the kim possible one and saw images ocasionally, but never saw them. 

Turns out it’s because in general Season 2 got screwed over. While Season 1 was pushed out the door fast and aired at a rapid pace Season 2.. was portioned out over several years, and the Recess crossover one, the last one aired and the last one i’ll be covering never even got to Disney channel, only airing on ABC kids, DIsney’s saturday morning block at the time I rarely watched. I did watch it’s predecessor one saturday morning though. Good stuff. 

Since I couldn’t find any making of stuff for why these episodes happened, my best guess is DIsney wanted some cross promotion, and the shows used were chosen because they were the most popular at the time and honestly all 4 represent some of disney’s best, with Recess being in heavy reruns at the time, hence i’ts conclusion despite the show being finished before Lilo And Stitch the movie came out, let alone the series. 

So yeah i’m taking this ride for the first time.. but I was happy to. While Kev pays for a lot of my work, I still have to accept the idea.. and this was a great one. It allows me to cover 5 amazing series and gage how much people would want to see reviews of said series on this blog in one fell swoop.

So to kick us off we have American Dragon: Jake Long, a series I waited forever to come to Disney + as I loved it at the time, badly need to rewatch it (Been busy ), and find it genuinely great: It’s a great teen superhero story about the magical protector of new york, with a charming lead, a great setting and horrifcally great villians in the violently racist magic creature hunting huntsclan.. and their top agent who happens to be jake’s love intrest Rose. It’s really excellent and i’m glad it’s now widely avaliable for all to see. I will say ahead that all four shows in this crossover arc are excellent, and were fine choices for this. 

So what happens when an action comedy about a hip hop teenage dragon meets a slice of life show about aliens? Find out under the cut. 

So we open at a fancy hotel where Lilo’s bringing lunch to her sister Nani when she runs into.. Keoni Jameson. 

The second I remembered this kid all the hate just came flooding back, coursing through my veigns. Just pure liquid hatred for this little perosnalitiless little punk. Keoni is Lilo’s crush and local “stupid white audience stand in”. He has no real personality other than “generic cool kid” and “likes skating”, and just sucks the air out of the room anytime he’s in an episode. Keoni is part of a recurring problem in cartoons across the ages, one that’s slowly going away: the bland love intrest. Intorducing a character whose only traits are being cool for the lead to fawn over with usually no intent of either getting the two togehter or just ending it. IT’s annoying, it was in a good chunk of my childhood, I wish it’d stop. I cannot tell you how many shows used this trope. There were exceptions, American Dragon Jake Long actually used it well by not only making Rose a fleshed out character..  but making her jake’s nemisis in their other lives, and thus making things increidbly difficult on both once the truth comes out, with Jake grappling with if he can trust her or not and Rose grappling with the slow relization eveyrthing she was taught her whole life was wrong.

And again I have seen GOOD storylines using this as a tool: Dipper and Wendy ended with her having been aware teh whole time, but simply not knowing how to let him down given the age gap, and Regular Show rebounded the best from it: it turned the stop and start relatoinshpi of Mordecai and Margret’s relationship into a character flaw for him, openly explored it.. and ended up having him work past it and actually date her for a bit. Before she moved away, he got an even better love interest, then they destoryed the relationship in the worst way posisble and I wil lbe getting to that at some point. Some point. 

So yeah even at the time it was done better, hindsight haas only made it worse and it made watching the first few minutes tough because I had to keep pasuing because I hate him so damn much. He just adds NOTHING to the show and is a blank yanwing void from which no good came out of and I was terrified he’d be in the rest of the episode. Thankfully while he drives the plot he’s only in this scene.. but it’s still one more scene than both 625 and Pleakly got. yeah both are missing, as is nani. 

I did uncover one fun fact that made things a bit easier though: The crew ALSO hated Keoni. No really. Disney forced the character on them as they wanted an audience surrogate, and this abomination is what popped out. They DID NOT want him here and likely only used him as mcuh as they did because Disney forced it on them. And Disney would NOT learn from this as Star Vs got saddled with Alphonso and Ferguson soley because of network mandate. The two aren’t TERRIBLE characters but they aren’t great and feel as tacked on as they were. And part of this does fall on the crew: you CAN twist a stupid mandate like this to work well: Joe Murray was asked to add “A female character with a hook”, as in some sort of dumb gimmick to Rocko. He used those words, meant to create a superfical girl power cardboard cutout.. and created the wonderful Dr. Hutchenson, a bright cheery doctor, the series best sidecharacter.. and someone with a hook hand. But I won’t go too hard on them: they probably didn’t have as much room to manuver and the fact Keoni was sitll being shoved into episodes in season 2 tells me they likely had a set number of episodes he had to show up. I’m suprised they didn’t demand they have characters ask “Where’s Keonie?” any time he wasn’t in an episode. He was unecessary and it comes across with a massive chunk of unforutnate implications: that they didn’t think a series with a mostly hawaiann cast would work, that they wanted at least one other “nice” white character to offset myrtle instead of having the only major white character be a bully and antagonist, and that they thought tehir mostly white audience coudln’t enjoy a series without a white character, which as someone who was in the target demo at the time, I call bullshit on. As I said I hated him then, I hate him now and his involvement is the worst aspect of this episode. 

So after Lilo fawns over him for a bit we find out this chonk of wood’s purpose in the episode: to set up the plot. There’s a massive Skate Competition coming to town with the prize being a really cool skateboard.  This plot point itself.. I don’t mind. Jake is a skater, it’s part of his character and one of the things he loves doing in what minsicule spare time he has. And while it was a common trope at the time having a character skateboard really dosen’t harm most works. We’ve gotten great characters like Jake, Jackie Lynn Thomas, Branwen and Ronnie Anne Santiago out of it, and it feels like natural parts of the character, and frankly An Extremley Goofy Movie wouldn’t be NEARLY as awesome without having skateboarding bizzarley attached to the plot via the college x-games. Granted somtimes you get Rocket Power out of the deal but that’s the price you pay for the good stuff. I only regret it’s involved because Keoni has to be there and I had to pause multiple times to get through his scene. He’s just a sampler platter of terrible decisions made in 2000′s cartoons and he irritates me more than this guy. 

And anyone whose read my Loud House reviews can tell you that is a high bar to clear. 

So naturally Lilo wants to enter the Hawiann X-Games to get the board for Keoni. Though I will give the writers credit for having Stitch voice their thoughts and the audiences thoughts by having him take Keoni’s picture and throw it in the garbage. Where he belongs. 

Lilo’s not great at it as they practice.. and said practice naturally ends up waking up a new experiment, 316.. who i’m just going to go ahead and call Morpholomew. Stitch eventually catches him though like many of the experiments he’s not actively malevelolent and is easy enough to get home. 

Jumba gets to his schitck of breaking down what the experiment of the week does: In this case Morpholomew is  a shapeshifter though he has a VERY intresting twist on those powers: while he can naturally morph himself into anything he’s seen or has a picture of, he can do the same to anyone he touches. It dosen’t effect their voices, but otherwise it’s a perfect recreation. 

So Lilo instead of finding him a home right away.. decides to wait until after the compettition because we need him for the plot. 

So at the Skateboard Competittion Lilo tries to enter, but finds she’s too young.. but since she has a picture of Keoni, which is a nice way to use her photo hobby from the movie for plot reasons and thus dosen’t feel like an ass pull. Why Keoni’s not in town to skate is as his dad left because it’d be too crowded.. even though the event is at the resort he owns. 

So while Lilo commits identtity theft, our guest star appears. He’s cool, he’s hot like a frozen son, he’s young and fast he’s the chosen one, people i’m not braggin, i’ts the American Dragon. Jake is here for two reasons: the first is that Grandpa Long got reports of magical creatures out in the open, so naturally they need to look into that. It’s a clever way to get him, along with Grandpa, Fu, Trixie and Spud, over to Hawaii. The Dragon Council would defintely be suspcious hearing about this, and my guess to why they hadn’t sent another dragon over is they simply dont’ have one on the islands. As for why the Huntsclan didn’t get involved in any way, it’s simply too public for them.  With the magical community in new york, they don’t have to worry about exposure because neither side wants it, so neither side can out the other. Here with a bunch of creatures out in the open it runs the risk of the Hunstclan being dragged into the light.. and given the populace dosne’t care about the “magical creatures” alongside them, it would make them look like the monsters they are. 

Spud and Trixie tagging along also makes sense besides “they needed them for the plot”: While they’d obviously want to come to Hawaii, the skate competition is likely Jake’s cover for why he’s there, as well as one for why it’s just him and grandpa going with a couple of his friends so they don’t have to deal with manuvering around jake’s dad. That sad them never TELLING jake’s Dad is it’s own can of worms as it feels cruel, made things harder for jake and there was no real reason not to. At worst he’d want Jake to stop for his own saftey but given ther’es an active threat in  the huntsclan for the first season and a half, NOT helping people would be the right thing and I feel he’s a sensible enough man to understand eventually. 

And it’s stuff like this that already makes this crossover really work for me: they don’t really have to strain to get Jake over there or tell the audience heavily, the blanks fill in themslves. Or I am but that’s because it’s my job and I love doin it. 

So everyone goes off to their corners; Jake to do a few practice runs, Foo Dog to bet on his friend because of course, Trixie and Spud to go to the beach (even though Spud’s terrified of sharks so I question why Trixie needs him for this), and in a delightfully adorable subplot, finds a lady to woo: local fruit stand vendoer and crankly old lady Mrs. Hasagawa. 

I am here for this subplot: While Grandpa not focusing on the mission is weird for him that’s the entire point.. and their just really cute together. He’s smitten with her entirely because he sees her chewing out one of the people running the contest for making her sign too small. And he performs one hell of a romantic gesture by, while everyone’s back is turned, using his dragon fire to make an add for her on the skate ramp itself, and they have a lovely montage of their time together.. which also weirdly includes grandpa using his dragon fire on stage inf ront of everyone which makes no sense for his charcter but is so cute and does feature david I really don’t care. The writers of Lilo and Stitch probably weren’t deeply familiar with the show and likely just wanted a fun gag. Could be wrong there but it’s cute. He continues to act grossly out of character by trying to avoid going home at the end.. but again I find it simply because he’s in love, they have genuine chemstiry and I like to think they stayed in touch and he retired out there at some point once Jake was old enough to handle things himself. This may not be a ship I expected to support going in but I will die for it going out. 

So back to the main plot, Lilo uses Keoni’s body to imitate him which... she’s only loosely called out on and realizes is bad by the end only because she gets stuck in another body. And that’s not even getting into the fact she BREAKS UP WITH KEONI’S GIRLFRIEND. Yes really.. she just does that to get her out of the way. She comes around and realizes she was wrong and tries to fix it which would be fine.. if hte episode didn’t try to cop it out by revealing “Oh she’s not his girlfriend, she’s just someone who keeps telling people that”. It just feels lazy and dumb and a way to keep Lilo’s crush on Keoni for reasons I DO. NOT. GET. But the identity theft is just brushed aside by everyone: Keoni never finds out, and Jake just brushes it off. The real issue is more her trying to bribe keoni into likng her which while something kids need to learn is not the only thing she did wrong here. It feels like they didn’t think all the implications out here and it hampers the episode

Speaking of which as Gantu captures Jake, he sees him transform into dragon mode and assumes he’s the experiment, Jake’s charactization is pretty shallow.  And why yes it DOES feel weird writing sentences about a character with the same name thank you for asking. I wasn’t expecting a deep character piece or anything: This is a guest spot, the writers here are not the same normal ones for American Dragon. That’s fine. The problem.. is that they clearly did not get Jake. Grandpa being partly out of character is half the joke, Trixie actually gets a really nice moment towards the end, and Spud.. is eh. But out of them Jake just feels like a basic character description: He likes hip hop, he likes skateboards, he calls himself Am Drag despite that sounding like a good name for a drag act but a terrible name to shorten your title, he fights.. that’s it. 

While jake is all of that in the main series, he’s also a kind young man who while sometimes irresponsible does the right thing when the chips are down.  He’s someone weighed down by a responsiblity he didn’t ask for, often makes his life more difficult and often finds himself in trouble because his mother and grandfather won’t bother to tell his dad he’s a dragon. Yes that part still bothers me, and I don’t see why we couldn’t just have a superhero show where both parents know. But regardless this just dosen’t feel like Jake , like they just watched the intro and that was it. Jake feels more like a plot device in his own crossover. 

That being said there is some good stuff: The minute Jake realizes some Sci Fi stuff is going on instead of hte normal magic stuff he tells him “The am drag’s show isn’t about sci fi” a nice meta bit and then breaks out. Meanwhile Lilo takes on his form.. and ends up stuck after badly botching her run again, as Gantu finds the real shapeshifter. 

We get the best stretch of the episode from here though: Lilo awkardly tries to play jake and like jake we get a nice meta nod to how diffrent their show is as she’s worried about his belief in magical creatures.. and is startled out of her charade when Foo Dog talks, a really nice bit especially since it’s tame compared to the weirdness he deals with. Spud and Trixie have questions... only for Jake to show up and his agressive behavior leads to the best bit of the episode: Jake Vs Stitch. The catlyst is understandable: jake has no idea why Lilo’s taken his identity and Sttich is just protecting his best friend from harm. The animation is fluid, the fight is fun and quick and uses both’s powers stellarl. Whle “two heroes get into a misunderstanding and then fight” is a well worn cliche at this point, it’s moments like this that show why: you get to see two heroes who in this case never have interacted before or sense, duke it out, why each is special and it’s fun to watch. 

Lilo breaks it up, and admits to the whole thing.. including the whole give Keani the board stuff. While Jake and Spud, being awkard with girls and a loveable moron don’t see the problem with that Trixie gets a moment to shine. As far as I can remember she really didn’t get much on the show proper so it was a nice suprise to see her mentor lilo her, telling her trying to give someone gifts to love you is not okay, she should just be herself all that good stuff. It’s a nice character stuff and tha’ts the kind of character interaction this episode needed more of. 

With the misunderstandings washed away our heroes team up and storm gantu’s ship leading to another great sequence as Stitch rides on Jake’s back while the two keep him busy and Lilo gets turned back, Trixie complimenting her dress “Thanks I have 10 just like it at home”. It’s such a sweet and genuine moment” They head back out and gantu semeingly grabs morpholmew from where they hide.. only to find out when he gets back it’s spud, our adorable little blob monster transforming Gantu into a bunny and our heroes leaving. How does Gantu get out of being a bunny?

But it’s a nice enough gag. So we end the episode. We get another nice gag as grandpa had himself and his lady transformed to try and avoid going home, and Jake is fine with having lost out on the board what matters is he made a friend. Sadly we did not get a followup in ADJL., but spud does name our experiment, Morpholomew. 

We end on Morph getting his home: a costume shop where he gets paid in fried chicken, he was shown to enjoy it throughtout the episode and changes people into things. It’s a nice little button to the episode and one of the funnest parts of the show was figuring out where the experiment would end up at the end. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is a really mixed bag. There is some good character interactions, two tremendous fight scens and Trixie gets a chance to shine for once if only for a scene or two, and the clashing genres end up making for some great jokes> The shows do go well together as while Lilo and Stitch is more laid back both have slice of life elements. And hasgawa X Grandpa is just oto cute for words. 

The episode is held back by Jake and Lilo’s lackluster characterizatons: Jake is simply the theme song as a character, which in theory is awesome because that theme song slaps but in practice is pretty lame, and Lilo is selfish and irresponsible even for her in a way that dosen’t feel at all convincing. It drags down what’s otherwise a fun crossover and Morpholomew is truly a unique and wonderful experiment. Still if you like either show it’s worth a watch even if you have to suffer through Keoni for it. It’s worth it.. I just wish it was better and hopefully the next 3 will keep the good parts but take out the bad. Granted this was produced last so I could be wrong, but here’s hoping.  Oh this episode also featured Miranda Cosgrove as the girl who claims to be Keoni’s girlfriend. This is also Keoni’s last episode meaning I do NOT have to worry about accidently running into him. Thank fucking christ. 

Next Time On American Dragon Jake Long: Jake’s dad drags him and his friends on a camping trip and Jake ends up encountering the Jersey Devil. Now all they need is a sexy lady devil cake to lure it out... what it worked for the Cake Boss. And yes that happened, Allison Pregler did an episode on that episode. Check it out. 

Next Time On Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: It’s the family, the family, proud familllyyy as the Prouds take a vacation at Peakly and Jumbas bed but not breakfast and we get some kind of squirrel demon for our experiment of the week. We also get Wizard Kelly appearing...

See you at the next rainbow. 

[magicofthepen]

For the character thingy, romana and leela?? ❤

ROMANA - I’m going to answer for Romana I, since I already did Romana II!

favorite thing about them: so I fell in love with Romana I instantly when I watched The Ribos Operation. I was like “wait no one told me that Romana’s basically a recent graduate who always thrived in school but has now suddenly been thrust into the Real World and is a bit of a mess” and oh my god why is she so relatable, also I love that about her. I love that she doesn’t quite know what she’s doing, and her academic brilliance doesn’t necessarily help in the situations she’s finding herself in, but she keeps trying and learning, so by the end of season 16 she’s much more confident and capable on her own than she was when she started. I just absolutely adore the premise of her character and how she develops during the key to time quest. also her banter skills are so excellent. (….this wasn’t one thing whoops. 😄)

least favorite thing about them: I feel like it’s something about how she’s portrayed in the Gallifrey audios, but I can’t quite articulate what? but I feel like somehow, some of the things I really liked about her on TV (her witty fun banter, her determination even when she’s out of her depth) aren’t represented as much when we get glimpses of Actual Romana I (not Pandora or an alternate universe version). idk if this is even fully true, it’s just….she doesn’t quite have the same vibe as the character I remember from the TV show (but this is also tricky because the Lies scene, the Matrix projection in Lies (which *isn’t* really her technically) and the remains of her consciousness in the body that Pandora’s using are the only times we get Actual Romana I - which isn’t that much time to express all the nuances of her character.)

(continuing to skip the favorite line question because it’s too hard)

brOTP: her and the Doctor!! (like I said in the Romana II ask, I used to ship them more, but lately I’ve been more into a platonic interpretation.) I just as instantly fell for their dynamic in the Ribos Operation - two people with very different personalities who don’t get along but are forced to work together and gradually become friends?? this is exactly the kind of relationship arc that I adore. Their banter and snark is So Good (I was so entertained by their interactions in Ribos Operation that my brain refused to pay attention to anything but their scenes, and I ended up having issues following the plot later oops). And I love their growing respect and care for each other - how they go from being mutually dismissive of each other to valuing each other and being a solid Team and just really genuinely liking each other! their friendship is just Very Good (…..and now I really want to rewatch season 16….I’ve only seen it like one and a half times but I loved it very much….)

OTP: I don’t think I have any ships with Romana I that I would consider an ‘otp’? (the closest would be her and the Doctor since I have sometimes shipped them and I adore their relationship in general)

nOTP: Brax/Romana again….and tbh with Romana I it’s more of an actual nOTP (rather than ‘kinda nOTP, kinda ‘it’s complicated’’) because this is the time frame when she’s actually his student and so my discomfort with student/teacher relationships really rears its head (although there’s still one fic out there that I just think is so well-written.....but it does show the relationship as very unhealthy). 

random headcanon: .....so sorry to continue Sartia posting, but oops the first thing that popped into my head is my new maybe-unrealistic headcanon that Sartia was Romana’s first kiss. in a teenage “I’m curious and want to try this thing and you’re the only person I hang out with, but it doesn’t mean anything....or does it??” way. (.....this is so self-indulgent in such a terrible way rip.)

unpopular opinion: Armageddon Factor is my favorite Key to Time story! (I gather this is an unpopular opinion in Doctor Who Fandom At Large, it doesn’t seem to be liked as much as some of the earlier stories in the season.) technically I’ve only seen it once and it was a couple years ago, but I remember loving it as a Romana story, there were a lot of really interesting character bits for her!

song i associate with them: hmm I don’t really have one? my Romana playlist is specifically for Romana II in Big Finish so....yeah.

favorite picture of them: anything with her Ribos Operation outfit (with the full cloak), it’s iconic and beautiful! on a similar note, I love this Romana I art by @volucris-liga, it’s the first Romana fanart I ever reblogged and it’s so pretty!

more under the cut!

LEELA

favorite thing about them: her resilience and her kindness. Leela goes through so much grief and pain, she has her world upended again and again, she never really finds a place where she belongs. and yet she still keeps choosing to love, choosing to keep fighting for what she believes in, choosing to rebuild again and again. and sometimes it’s really hard and she doesn’t want to go on….but she does, and she finds moments of happiness again. and that strength is really powerful. and no matter how cruel the universe (and other people) are to her, she is still relentlessly kind - she listens, she protects, she wants to help, she cares. 

least favorite thing about them: I mean, the “savage” stereotype that her character references is a racist/anti-indigenous trope (especially the whole dynamic of the Doctor trying to “civilize” her ugh). and I hate that characters keep calling her “savage” (even when they’re the Bad Guys, it’s still bringing up this trope again and again, and it’s even worse when it’s the Good Guys). why are they still doing this.

brOTP: see all characters listed under otp, every relationship that I ship is also an incredibly important friendship in Leela’s life and I love all of them <33 as far as relationships that I see as entirely non-romantic….I really love the version of Leela and Ace’s relationship that exists in my head (and in fandom) - they didn’t get to interact enough in the audios, but I absolutely think they were really close, because of their shared experiences and the ways their personalities mesh. (I feel like I should also say the Doctor here, but tbh I don’t remember her TV stories that well, so I don’t really have a solid memory of what their relationship was like.) and of course, Leela’s parental relationship with Rayo is very important to me!

OTP: once again, ot3 my beloved <33 and Leela/Romana first and foremost (I already rambled about them here, so I’m just going to second everything I said earlier). 

and I also ship Leela/Narvin, although I’m not quite as invested in that pairing? (due to a combination of ‘Romana is my favorite character and so I’m just more interested in her relationships with other characters,’ ‘I joined the fandom when things were pretty much all Leela/Narvin all the time (I say with great respect and affection for the artists and writers putting out amazing content for that ship) so I was motivated to write fic primarily for R/L and N/R to balance out the ot3 content,’ ‘apparently I have a contrary streak with Gallifrey and the more the writers push a romantic interpretation of a relationship, the less interested I am in actually shipping it,’ and ‘I’m not really into Leela/Narvin as a pairing on its own - although I do love a lot of fic that portrays them that way bc it’s just very well-written.’) But just. how they form a grudging alliance for Romana’s sake and then develop genuine respect for each other and then build this really solid foundation of teamwork and fondness and care and really relax and feel comfortable around each other….the way they become ride-or-die for each other and just trust and love each other so much….it’s Very Good!! (And I did love writing scenes with the two of them in Call It Home - I might not focus on them, but I do genuinely love their relationship.) 

And of course Leela/Veega <33….I debated if they even interacted enough in the actual audios for me to consider it an otp, but I love the idea of their relationship and the story of them in my head so much?? going to link to this post because it really captures my feelings about them - they’ve both been through so much grief and pain by the time they meet, they’ve both lost people they love before, so the idea of them choosing to love each other and build something together against the odds is just. very powerful. plus I have a whole playlist for the family they’ve built together, which is a strong indication that I really love this ship. 😊

nOTP: Leela/Andred. last time I answered an ask meme about Leela, I had this complicated response about how I hated Leela/Andred when I watched Invasion of Time (bc it’s so abrupt and arbitrary), and then Louise Jameson’s voice acting Convinced Me To Care because oh she really did love him....alas i am a Leela/Andred detractor at heart, and I have been nudged back to my default state by re-listening….I simply hate how he treats Leela in Gallifrey.

random headcanon: I really like the idea of Leela being more politically involved in her own right after they all return from the Axis. She’s just spent a lot of time leading a group of people who don’t have a voice in the government, fighting for their rights against the established injustices of Gallifreyan society. I don’t think she’d easily slip back into only being Romana’s bodyguard after experiencing more political autonomy on the other Gallifrey. What exactly this looks like in practice I’m not sure about - in my one fic ‘verse, I wrote about her being more directly involved with the Academy as a political liaison and guest tutor, and also advocating to Romana for policies that would benefit those who live outside the city on their home Gallifrey. but there’s probably a lot of options to explore here!

unpopular opinion: hmm I don’t think this is necessarily unpopular but idk and I want to talk about it: even though Leela identifies so strongly as a warrior, a “happy ending” for her would, I think, need to involve getting away from fighting. too often she throws herself into a fight to try to avoid thinking about how much she’s hurting, and it doesn’t work, it doesn’t stop the pain. and in the Time War, she’s tied her identity so strongly to war (it’s inevitable, inescapable, and she will Fight and Defend because that’s all she has left). there’s a difference between “I am a warrior” and “all I am is a warrior,” and Leela’s slid too far into the second one, and she needs to untangle her own identity from war to heal. 

song i associate with them: Freedom by Karmina (it’s a song about going on defiantly in the face of heartbreak -  “Tearing my room apart, I’m starting over” / “Take my pride I can still survive I’ve got my freedom” / “Hunt me down you’ll never find me now that I’ve got my freedom”)

favorite picture of them: the first one that came to mind is this gorgeous art by @laurelhach (which I didn’t realize was based on a picture until I stumbled across the original picture and was like oh my god!! it looks exactly like the art!!)

[staygoldaj]

Analysis on the MHA Girls

(Part I: Uraraka & Momo)

I know that the fandom tends to dislike these queens and push them aside, and I know Hori doesn't really know how to write women, but what he has given us is great and I wish the fans would appreciate these awesome ladies more. So here's an analysis for my girls, I wanna do an analysis on the three musketeers (broccoli, popcorn, & candy cane) so that'll be posted soon too :)

Uraraka

BEST. GIRL. I love Uraraka so much, she is the reason why I started watching MHA and she's such a sweetheart, I wish she wasn't so hated amongst the fandom.

We first meet her as this wholesome, bubbly girl who saves Midoriya from falling, and it's pretty clear that she's gonna be the main love interest. Honestly, I was a little disappointed during her first few scenes. Like I said, she was the reason why I started MHA, and she turns out to be the typical sweet girl the main dude has a crush on. I didn't have high hopes tbh. What first intrigued me was when she admits her reasons for becoming a hero. You would never expect the innocent girl-next-door love interest to be doing something for money. Even she herself says it's "such an unwholesome motivation" in comparison to Midoriya's and Iida's reasons, and she gets praised for "looking out for herself." This is the first misconception I see often on her character; she wants money for herself because she's poor. If you look into her reasons, she just wants to make money for her parents, not for her, so that her parents can take it easy. She is just as selfless as Midoriya and Kirishima, but I don't see her get praised for her selflessness nearly as much as for those two or other characters. I also really like the small flashback they included; her father tells her to not worry about them and to follow her dreams. Whether at the start Uraraka truly wanted to be a hero or solely did it for the money is up for interpretation. I personally think she started solely for the money, which I'll get into after I talk about the Sports Festival.

Uraraka vs. Bakugo is one of the most emotional fights in my opinion, and it's one of my favorites. EVERYONE in that stadium underestimated her. I'm not going to say that the reason was because she was a woman, but rather, Bakugo is pretty ruthless and powerful, where as she is not, and people knew that. The fact that she was a "small young girl" just added more fuel to that, if that makes sense. And this best girl did what she could to prove EVERYONE wrong. This is where Uraraka proves that she isn't a typical sweet shonen love interest and I wish people took notice in that. People think of ambitious, determined, driven, cunning, and powerful women as dark and mysterious, femme fatale so to speak. But this fight shows that Uraraka, a pretty extroverted, kind, and bubbly person, is all of those qualities, just as ambitious and determined as the strongest male characters in the show, such as Bakugo and Todoroki.

And when she loses the fight (after basically passing out btw, queen didn't stop until the very end), she doesn't just mope and quit and wait for encouraging words from her love interest, she 1. GIVES the encouraging words TO her love interest and 2. she understands that her quirk alone isn't going to be enough to get her to the top, so she carefully chooses a hero agency where she knows she will be taught combat, AND SHE LEARNS. The next time her class is attacked by villains, she single-handedly takes down one of the more dangerous members without a quirk, just with the fighting skills she took the time to learn.

Back to what I said earlier, Uraraka started her hero journey solely for money. This plays directly into her development in seasons 3 and 4, which is criminally underrated. She sees her entire class working harder than ever, and even though she's dealing with unfamiliar emotions, she decides to push those emotions aside to not fall behind, determined to be a good student and hero like her classmates. During the events at Shie Hassaikai, Uraraka finally learns the true environment a hero works in. Failing to save Nighteye, she realizes that what she truly wants for herself isn't money or Midoriya, it's being a hero who saves people. I believe Nighteye's death directly ties into the "who protects heroes when they need protection?" line. This recent chapter in the manga makes me think that she's gonna do something big and go through a character arc. I said this on Twitter and I'll say it here, I want Uraraka to become a hero who protects heroes (whatever that could mean, it has a nice ring to it lol). Honestly, her character has sm potential, I'm excited for what Horikoshi has in store for her.

Momo

God is a woman and that woman is Momo Yaoyorozu. I'm tired of people calling her annoying because of one episode, as if you've never had self-esteem problems before 🙄 so now I'm going to talk about why she's amazing 😋

My initial impression of Momo was the typical smart girl, stern, formal, and aloof, but still caring. And as I rewatch the series, I believe this is what Horikoshi was going for at first. I think her voice was deeper in the first season too. As much as I love the Erza type of characters, I love where Horikoshi ended up going with Momo. As a teenage girl, I find the arc she went through during season 2 very relatable. It's obvious that Momo was raised to have full confidence in herself. While she may not show it like Bakugo does, I think it's obvious that she's not used to losing, she was probably praised for having an amazing quirk growing up, like Bakugo, but is a way more humble about it because she was raised differently. So at the Sports Festival, she experiences losing, seemingly for the first time, in a place where she just can't afford to lose. But she does. And this takes a huge toll on her.

She's rich, pretty, the top student in class, and admired by her peers, but obviously that's not what mattered to Momo. What mattered to her most in that moment was looking good in front of agencies, what mattered most was to be a worthy hero, and she feels like she's failed. She seeks guidance from a female hero, hoping to have a female role model guide her through issues she has as a 15 year old girl, but instead finds herself being used for her looks. Again, Momo doesn't care about any of that, she just wants to be considered a worthy hero, and her defeat at the Sports Festival made her completely lose the confidence she needed to accomplish that goal.

Now we have the Yaoyorozu Rising episode. Fans who hate her often refer to this episode as "evidence for Todomomo", "her being annoying by not knowing what to do," etc. etc. etc. 🙄

I like Todomomo. It's a cute and healthy ship. There are WAY more Todomomo scenes, not in this episode. Todoroki is a side character in Momo's story in this episode. This episode is MOMO'S. Sorry but she’s not sharing the spotlight. I know that seems a little aggressive, sorry, but this episode shows a lot of development in Momo, and it just gets brushed off as Todomomo content when it's not. She did know what to do, btw, she has a plan. She didn't know how to communicate that. She didn't want to communicate that. She was scared that her plan wouldn't work. She was scared that she'd fail. All of that stems back to her defeat at the Sports Festival, she has lost a major amount of confidence, and Aizawa and Todoroki notice this. Aizawa even says that her actions are of a normal 15 year old girl's, and even though he wished to help her, he couldn't, so Todoroki does it in his place. This is something I notice about Momo that is one of the most relatable things I've ever seen in a teenage girl in not just shonen, anime but just in fiction in general: she knows she has a good plan, but she doesn't have confidence in it until someone else gives her the validation. Upon seeing that others trust her, she regains her confidence and fulfills her plans with excellency. She is a REALISTIC 15 YEAR OLD GIRL which is honestly SO refreshing to see in a work of fiction. It's what I love about her character: she represents many teenagers, girls, boys, and theys alike.

And yeah, it might've been annoying if she had stayed the "has good plans but only executes them if she gets the validation from others" type of character. But she doesn't. By season 3, she has shown a significant amount of growth. She is shown to be more of a leader now that she's more confident in herself, and she's still dealing with it (that one scene with Sero & Jiro 💀), but she's gotten a lot better after realizing her worth, after realizing the trust others have in her, after realizing that others see her as an intelligent leader. So in the forest, she quickly comes up with a plan and executes it quickly. Had she not done this, had she not thought and acted quickly, who knows how long it would've taken before the heroes found Bakugo.

Another thing I want to mention before I finish Momo's section- at the hospital, All Might calls her a worthy hero because of her actions. It was her inability to act quickly at the Sports Festival that made her doubt her worth, and it's her ability to act quickly that makes All Might see it. I think this plays a major role for her character, maybe why she ultimately decided to go on the mission to save Bakugo. She's gonna have some of the spotlight to herself during the Joint Training Battle.

I also want to mention something from the manga, if you don't want spoilers then don't read this part.

Some of Midnight's last words in the manga are "Yaoyorozu's going to make a fine leader someday," which shows how her peers and mentors alike notice her potential. Additionally, she proves this statement right by quickly coming up with a plan to stop Gigantomachia. I'm very excited to see how Momo develops into an even more inspiring leader as the manga continues.

[fcparagon]

Okay, after Jonerys, WandaVision took my heart, and after the season finale, I have to say, it was sad, but it was not heartbreaking. However, I would like to discuss what is in store for our two beans in the coming movies, or shows. SO SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVEN'T YET FINISHED WATCHING THE SHOW. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED....

Alright, so Wanda's origins and her identity has been actualised in this show. She is now officially the Scarlet Witch, and we know that the events of WandaVision ties directly with Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. I would like to speculate as to what her role might be in the movie. I was definitely expecting Strange to do a cameo appearance at the end, but that didn't happen. The season finale left a lot of things untied. Anyway, I for one do not believe that Wanda will be the baddie in DSMM2. The finale showed us that she is not the woman who would use her powers for destruction. I mean seriously, she saved sword soldiers from dying, she didn't destroy Agatha even though she could've, she let go of the people of Westview the moment she realized what she was unintentionally doing. This was when she had little to no knowledge of her powers. Now that she's learning, she will find a way to better control her powers and use it for good. However, that last end credits scene, where she hears the voice of her kids, and it seemed to be something ominous. So here's what I think:

Some malevolent entity, I'm guessing Mephisto, got to know about her due to her chaos magic she used to create the Hex. This malevolent entity, is holding her kids hostage, so that Wanda will come for them, and maybe, this villain would want to take her powers, or basically have some malicious intent with her. Initially, it would seem as though there any malevolent entity present. Mama Maximoff will go full ham in trying to save her kids, and Strange will think that she is trying to destroy reality. However, in the end they both team up against the actual villain, and Wanda stays being mentored by Strange. The kids may grow up to being main characters in the Mutants.

The reason why I don't think Wanda will be a baddie, is because WandaVision already tried to use this card, and then flipped it to make her the heroine. I don't think Marvel is going to pull of a David & Dan stunt, and turn Wanda into a baddie again.

Now, about the finale, I was wondering why Vision never told Wanda about White Vision gaining back his memories, and that she should look for him. I wonder where Whision just yeeted off to. I hope we get to see a cameo appearance in Falcon and the Winter Soldier, or in Loki, coz waiting to know what became of him will be tiring. But I hope to God that Marvel doesn't follow the comic books about White Vision and Wanda, because White Vision basically dumps her saying that he has the memories, but he doesn't have the same emotional connection Vision did with Wanda. Please don't do this Marvel. Let my babies live together happily.

Also, Peter Maximoff fans, I get why you're upset. I was a bit disappointed, but the fact that they left this open ended, means a whole lot of things. That dude was not Ralph, that was definitely Peter Maximoff being under the spell of Agatha. And I have a feeling we might just get an answer in Captain Marvel 2, because Monica definitely has him.

Aside from that, I have to say that this was the only show I was ever invested on after GOT. Except, I will be rewatching this series, unlike....you know.....

But man, what a love Wanda and Vision share. I will riot if those two don't end up happy.

[panharmonium]

a face like a wounded bear (i’ve just got a few things on my mind, that’s all)

back on my merlin rewatch rambles this week.  i’m finishing up S1 now and just putting down some notes here for myself about 1.11 - specifically, how it ties back to/is informed by 1.10, because this is something that’s been on my mind for a long time.

these got a bit long so feel free to scroll past if this isn’t your cup of tea!

standard disclaimer for people who don’t know me and might stumble across this: i got into this show late and i have not finished season 5.  i am GOING to finish season 5, hence this rewatch.  so far i have remained unspoiled for the end of this show; i super appreciate everybody helping me stay that way.  you have my permission to laugh at me for being ten years late to this show in the first place and also for taking a geological age to finish the last four episodes.  i understand and fully support you in this; in my defense, i have been using the break to write fic, so i hope all can be forgiven in the end X)

with that out of the way, some thoughts!

i. a wounded bear

i really appreciate how much angrier merlin suddenly is at everything once we hit ‘the labyrinth of gedref.’

he’s still trying to help solve arthur’s problems, and he’s still rooting for arthur to succeed, but he’s also snappy and irritable and getting lost staring out windows, and his patience level with arthur in particular is set to absolute zero.  it’s not a catastrophic change - it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like arthur anymore or that he doesn’t still respect arthur for what arthur...could be, and for what he is, at moments; merlin obviously still deeply admires him for caring so much about the people of camelot and he obviously still believes that arthur is noble at heart and worth supporting.  but he’s simultaneously sick and tired of arthur’s particular brand of princely BS, and in this episode it’s starting to show.

before this episode, merlin used to tolerate arthur’s dumbassery with a kind of...willingness to be amused as opposed to annoyed.  arthur would go into his “insult merlin” routine or say something only a rich idiot would say and merlin would just laugh it off, or quip it away, or roll his eyes and get on with his day.  he was kind of…gently entertained by the people he had to serve.  he was having a little adventure right then, you know?  and the nobles, arthur included, were colorful characters in this story he’d walked into.  if they were occasionally insufferable, well, at least they were good for a laugh.

for example, that episode where arthur keeps asking merlin to cover for him so he can go have his little dates with sophia?  merlin winds up in the stocks for it three times in a row, but the first time, he just shrugs it off with his typical cheery equanimity and wryly says, “i forgot how much fun this was!”  and then when arthur asks him to cover for him a second time, merlin is just psyched that arthur is having such a good time with sophia, and he immediately agrees to do it, saying, “don’t worry, i’ll find a way to get you out of it!”  and then he’s back in the stocks, but when he comes out of them, gaius is more annoyed at arthur than merlin is.  and then after arthur runs off to “elope” with sophia, and merlin ends up in the stocks a THIRD time, it’s just the funny zinger at the end of the episode.  he’s not upset about it.  it’s just like, “meh!  here i am again!  classic merlin misadventure, what can you do? :)”

there is no chance that would fly in the back quarter of S1.  none.  zero.

merlin is completely fed up in 1.11.  starting with the hunting party’s slaughter of the unicorn, and then branching out to other, smaller things - every dismissive thing arthur says to him, every time arthur ignores or denies the reality of their situation and tries to pin responsibility for camelot’s misfortune on sorcery rather than his own actions, every time arthur makes stupid comments like ‘merlin you’re less intelligent than a rat’ - in this episode, merlin doesn’t roll with those things.  he snaps back, or raises his voice; he refuses to be talked over, he bites back “i’m THIRSTY” when arthur tells him to stop smacking his lips in the granary.  

in another episode, that stuff might have been delivered in a jokey way - and it will be again, some day in the future, when they’re both back to having fun with it - but merlin’s not having fun with it in 1.11.  he’s giving arthur challenging stares and resentful glares instead of friendly, this-is-just-how-we-tease-each-other looks.  his tone isn’t amused or fondly exasperated, it’s frustrated or irritated or, sometimes, straight-up angry.  

there’s a point in one of their arguments where merlin says he believes what anhora is saying, and arthur’s cold response is, “then you’re a fool.  you cannot trust a single word a sorcerer says.  you’d do well to remember that.”  

and merlin gives him the most baleful glare. like he wants to just...strangle him with his eyes.  like he has so many cutting things just sitting on the tip of his tongue and can’t decide which one he wishes he could say first.

ii. a few things on my mind

this, i think, is where it’s worth remembering that this episode takes place in a larger context than ‘arthur did a dumbass thing at the beginning of the episode and merlin’s upset about it.’  

because merlin definitely is upset about the unicorn, but merlin’s also just upset, full stop, about things that have nothing to do with the unicorn or camelot’s curse or camelot to begin with, and it’s bleeding over into other areas of his life.

to clarify: i don’t think we can really understand merlin’s subtle attitude shift in 1.11 without understanding that 1.11 takes place immediately after 1.10.  

1.11 is one of two S1 episodes whose positions in the timeline we can actually pinpoint relative to their neighbors (the first being 1.02, which is directly stated to take place on merlin’s “first day as arthur’s servant,” aka the day after 1.01).  1.11 likewise can be mapped accurately onto the timeline, because kanen comes thundering into ealdor bellowing “it’s harvest time!” in 1.10, and then in 1.11 camelot is bringing in their harvest, too (literally, gaius yells at the end, “they’re bringing in the harvest!”). 

there’s really not any wiggle room there.  the harvest season is only so many weeks long to begin with, and we know ealdor was pretty far along with their work in 1.10 - we see the evidence of their labor, and if the grain hadn’t already been harvested, kanen’s group wouldn’t have had anything to steal.  ealdor is smaller, so it makes sense for them to finish faster than camelot, but it looks like camelot is just getting started in 1.11, given the state of their grain reserves and the fact that so much grain appears to be unharvested when the blight hits.  and, that being the case, honestly, camelot had to have started like, immediately after 1.10 finished, or even while that arc was still going on.  it’s already pushing the boundaries of disbelief that they wouldn’t have started by the time ealdor has gotten so much done.  there’s no plausible way they could have waited any longer.  harvest season is the same for everyone; it’s not some kind of rotating schedule.  people only have about a month to get it done in the first place.  

so these two episodes occur, at the absolute most, a couple weeks apart from one another, and that’s only by the most generous of estimates; it’s more likely that they’re closer together than that, given the information above.  but honestly, it doesn’t matter whether it’s two weeks or two days - either way, merlin in 1.11 has something going on in his head that’s extremely recent and taking up kind of a lot of his energy.  

i don’t know that this angle gets looked at often, because the understandable tendency is to mostly focus on merlin in relation to arthur, and this becomes especially true in episodes that contain arthur+merlin umm...idk, focus scenes like the one near the end of 1.11.  but this is the angle that’s always on my mind when i watch the end of S1, because if there is one hill i’ve staked out for the digging of my future grave, it’s the following:

merlin’s life does not revolve around arthur pendragon.

this probably qualifies as an unpopular fandom opinion, but it’s something i absolutely refuse to budge on.  

and of course it’s just my own read, obviously; you may have more fun coming at this episode from a different direction, and that’s totally cool!  but for me, my understanding when i’m watching this season - merlin’s life does not revolve around arthur pendragon.  especially not yet, especially not now, when merlin has only known arthur for a few months and he’s just coming back from being with people who have known him (and i mean known him, known everything, known him for real) for something like twenty years.

merlin’s life does NOT revolve around arthur pendragon.  his relationship with arthur, at this point, is not the most important relationship in his life.  arthur is not the best friend he’s ever had.  arthur is barely merlin’s friend at all, right now.  arthur likes him all right, yes, and merlin likes him back, most of the time, but arthur doesn’t even know him, really. 

arthur doesn’t know.

and i love arthur and merlin, like - i’m as down for the mythic, destiny-laden, we-find-each-other-in-every-universe dimension of their dynamic as anybody, and when those two finally have an equal, healthy friendship going on, i’m going to be cheering for them.  but it doesn’t change the fact that merlin had a life before he came to camelot, or the fact that by 1.11 he’s only been in camelot for a few months and doesn’t really know arthur all that well yet.  

you can pick whatever example you want to illustrate this point; there are enough of them to choose from, but one of the clearest is in 1.11, when arthur passes his final test and drinks anhora’s fake poison.  merlin thinks arthur is dead, at that point - he’s pretty well convinced that the poison was real and that arthur has just keeled over dead on the beach - but his reaction to arthur’s ‘death’ is....i don’t want to minimize it, exactly, because merlin's obviously upset about it, but at the same time the level of distress he displays is visibly, objectively different from what we see from him in other contexts.  it looks nothing like his naked grief when will is slipping away from him in 1.10, or his desperation when his mother shows up deathly ill on his doorstep in 1.13.  he doesn’t look at potentiallydead!arthur the same way, or talk to him the same way, or touch him the same way - of course he hustles right over and shakes him to see if he can wake him up, but it is just...you can watch these scenes next to each other and they are just not the same.  it is not the same gentle way he leans over his mother, the way he takes her hand, strokes her forehead, folds gaius’ rabbit’s foot into her fingers.  it is not the same way he cradles will in 1.10, when his fingers are in will’s hair and his hand is just - reflexively rubbing will’s head in a way that is just so...intimate and automatic and brokenly tender like -

of course it’s different with them!  he loves them!  watching them suffer is torture for him, and the idea of losing either of them is devastating to him on a scale i can’t possibly understand.  he’s only ever had two people in his life.  one parent.  one friend.  they were his whole world.

so, yeah, merlin is stressed about arthur’s apparent death.  he’s upset.  he likes arthur, he believes in arthur, he’s appalled that this is happening.  but it’s not a personal grief.  there aren’t any deathbed confessions.  there aren’t any gentle touches.  there aren’t any tears.  his protest to anhora isn’t ‘i love this person and i don’t want them to leave me;’ it’s ‘i was meant to protect him!’  it’s about him failing at his “destiny;” it’s about the fact that someone told him he was born like this for a reason and now he’s failed at the job that gave him a sense of purpose, at the thing that made him feel like having magic was worth all this terrible trouble.  

contrast this to when his mother shows up dying in 1.13, and gaius tries to prevent merlin from saving her by bringing up the importance of merlin’s “destiny.”  on that occasion, merlin’s immediate incredulous retort is, “my destiny?  this is my mother.”  

arthur’s death and merlin’s distress over it all come back to merlin’s unfulfilled destiny, in 1.11.  but merlin couldn’t care less about his destiny when it’s his mother’s life on the line.  my destiny means nothing if i cannot save her.

merlin’s life does not revolve around arthur pendragon.  not here, not now.

[that said - it’s different, of course, later in the series.  merlin’s reaction to arthur’s supposed death in 5.07 isn’t just “oh no i failed!”, it’s also a personal, particular anguish.  they matter to each other, by then.  (though even then i think there’s a lot to be said about the…unhealthy tragedy of merlin giving up on his own wants and needs and worth as a person who exists outside the context of this narrow mandate to protect someone who doesn’t know who merlin really is and wouldn’t love him if he did - but that’s just the situation merlin’s trapped himself in, by that point.  it’s what he’s accepted for himself.  it’s all he thinks he deserves.)]

[that’s a post for another day, though, so.  back to the point.]  

merlin’s life does not revolve around arthur pendragon.  merlin had a life all his own before he came to camelot, and during the last quarter of season 1, every part of it that matters to him is falling apart.

i keep coming back to this, every time i think about this kid.  there’s just no way to overstate the fact that merlin’s world up until this point has always been just two people.  his whole life has been just two people.  his whole life has been just one parent.  his whole life has been just one friend.  

and after 1.10, his one friend is dead.

i think we dramatically underestimate the impact of merlin having half of his world obliterated, just like that.  

that’s not something he gets up and strolls away from.  he can’t roll with that punch.  he carries that for the rest of his life.

you know what i mean?  it would be a disastrous enough thing on its own, without even getting into the fact that it unfolds in a way that is SO complicated and tied up with messy personal history and regret/guilt that it needs to be parsed in an essay of its own (which, yes, i might already have half-written; yes, i have too much extra time on my hands this month.)  we’re also not getting into the fact that like - okay, the sort of grimly positive flip side to only having two significant relationships in your life is that you’ve also never personally experienced any significant bereavement.  you don’t have any extended family to mourn, no friends to lose, et cetera.  so to have your first experience with loss be something so huge, when you’ve had no practice dealing with grief, and to be trapped in a place where you aren’t allowed to discuss it honestly because if you told somebody what it all really meant you’d be executed?  

i’d be in a bad mood, too.

merlin is such a good kid and he tries so hard to have a smile for everyone, but i can’t watch the last quarter of S1 without seeing the strain of this weighing on him.  it affects how he reacts to the situation with gwen’s father in 1.12 (more on that another time), and it absolutely plays into the fact that he spends the season finale racing from one side of the kingdom to the other, desperate to sacrifice his life for someone else’s.

^^ regarding that last bit - i think about that a lot.  merlin tries to die three separate times over the last three episodes of S1, and it’s not that he’s...running around trying to get someone to kill him, exactly, but there’s definitely a very real sense that he’s dumped any interest in self-preservation, at this point, that he doesn’t care what happens to him.  if dying is what it takes to make sure nobody else is taken away from him, then that’s fine.  he will do literally anything to not feel this again.

merlin is trying to process something so big for him and he’s trying, by necessity, to do it alone, because he left his mother behind and came back to camelot where nobody understands that the only person other than his mother who ever loved him just died lying for him.  he is so stressed out in the last three episodes of this season and so desperately unhappy about things he isn’t allowed to even mention, and i just think it’s impossible to evaluate these episodes outside of that particular context.  

“we haven’t done all the things we’re meant to do,” he protests in the finale - and you can feel that aching admission come welling right up out of his soul.  it’s uttered in a new context, yes, but he’s been thinking it for weeks and weeks and weeks already, too late to change anything, too late to buy his friend any more time.  he’s hurting.  and he goes zipping around from life-sacrifice to life-sacrifice in the last three episodes in a desperate attempt to keep himself from hurting more.

iii. i’d never have a friend who could be such an ass

the point of all this is the following: the reason merlin sounds like he’s fed up with arthur in 1.11 is because he is fed up with arthur in 1.11.  he’s fed up with everything.  they all just got home from ealdor somewhere between a couple of days and a couple of weeks ago, and merlin is reeling.  he feels like his head and his heart are still trapped on the other side of the border.  he’s sick of looking at arthur’s arrogant, insensitive, infuriatingly alive face - and i say this while recognizing that, even at the same time, merlin also cares about arthur, and believes in him, and lionizes him; admires him; hero-worships him, even.  these two things can be simultaneously true.  merlin’s relationship with arthur is already so fraught with dissonance (how can you care about someone who thinks people like you are inherently evil?  how can you respect someone who oppresses you?) - and merlin’s always carried two contradictory truths when he navigates their relationship, one in each hand.  and right now it’s just that one hand is holding something too heavy.  he’s not being bitchy, he’s busy - he’s trying to deal with something that is taking up 100% of his mental and emotional energy; he doesn’t have anything left over to accommodate arthur pendragon’s dumbassery. 

and arthur pendragon IS a dumbass; let’s not pretend that he isn’t.  i love him, and he has moments that are so admirable and glorious and shining that they take your breath away, when you can see why gwen says you are going to live to be the man i see inside you; i can see a king that the people will love and be proud to call their sovereign (that speech makes my eyes sting EVERY TIME, it gets me right there) - but arthur is STILL a dumbass.  no question about it.  he has so far to go, still.  he’s dumb in all the generic ‘oblivious rich dude’ ways, and he’s also a jerk in his own specific ‘arrogant arthur pendragon TM’ ways, and merlin at this particular moment doesn’t have the energy to deal with it.  he likes arthur, even at this early stage, despite all the mental gymnastics he has to do in order to like someone who hates magic-users.  but merlin’s closest friend in the world is dead, and arthur is such an asshole sometimes and it’s like - this is what i got in exchange?  this is the trade the universe made?  what the hell makes arthur more deserving of being here than somebody who loved me without being told, without being taught, without needing to be constantly convinced that i should be allowed to exist and be safe and be loved on this earth?

are we really surprised that merlin wants to strangle arthur after that trademark ‘you cannot trust a single word a sorcerer says’ comment?  merlin has enough reasons to resent that on his own behalf, but his own secret isn’t the problem, this time; the problem is that they literally just got home from their little jaunt to ealdor and the only reason arthur even made it back from ealdor in the first place was because (as far as arthur knows) a ‘sorcerer’ died saving his stupid life, and arthur knows that, and still, this is what he has to say?  

and that’s on top of like - back in ealdor before they left, the fact that arthur really felt it was necessary to take time out of his day to come over and reproachfully chastise merlin about not disclosing will’s ‘magic,’ AT WILL’S FUCKING FUNERAL???  “you know how dangerous magic is.  you shouldn’t have kept this from me.”  AT WILL’S FUNERAL?  RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS BURNING CORPSE?  LIKE????  HELLO????

can you imagine being in this scenario???  and thinking???  yeah this is appropriate.  this is the time.  

how is merlin supposed to respond to that?  when arthur’s like ‘you know how dangerous magic is’ and merlin is just like ????!!  we are AT HIS FUNERAL!!!  we are literally WATCHING HIS BODY BURN!!!!  you know how dangerous magic is FFS THAT ‘MAGIC-USER’ COULDN’T STAND YOU AND HE STILL SAVED YOUR UNGRATEFUL LIFE AND HE’S DEAD BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT AND WE’RE AT HIS FUNERAL OMG IS THIS THE TIME?  IS IT EVER GOING TO BE THE TIME?  SHUT!  UP!

of course merlin wants to kill him.   

so anyway.  i really appreciate merlin’s sudden prickliness in this episode.  it’s subtle enough not to be completely jarring, but it’s still clearly perceptible, and i’m glad for that, because this is something that should be perceptible, given the timeline, but at the same time merlin would never, ever mention what’s really bothering him out loud, because a) the sorcery element and arthur’s involvement in how things went down have made it an absolutely unbroachable, forbidden topic, and b) guilt has wired merlin’s jaw shut.

^^ re: that last thing - it’s a post for another day, and i won’t really get into it now, but suffice to say, once again, that merlin spends the last quarter of season 1 running around trying his absolute hardest to throw his life away for someone, and i just feel like...i think it says something about the kind of pain he is in, and the kind of apology he feels he needs to make.  

he is having a very hard time.  merlin in the back quarter of S1 is feeling very alone and very much like he doesn’t deserve to ever feel better. 

so if he’s a little bitey with arthur’s trademark noble nonsense, i think we can cut him some slack.

[incarnateirony]

Without maybe putting too fine a point on it, based on your observation of the way the show is headed, do you think we're moving to an ending that separates all of TFW from each other? I know the diverging of Sam and Dean's paths is a big part of their journeys, but do you think that applies to Cas (and even Jack), too? I think of all of them, I'm least clear on what the rest of Cas's journey looks like from here (beyond the Empty-that's pretty clear).

If you watch nothing else of my videos, I suggest taking the time to watch Galactic Grudge and Destiny’s Reflection. It takes about 20 minutes total, requires headphones and 1080P and yes, I understand people with audio processing hurdles or language barriers might struggle a bit but long term it maps out a path that would take several hundred pages or more to map out in text.

That disclaimer out of the way as to why I’ve arrived at this destination:

Yes.

Not entirely, nor permanently. Death is nothing to fear. Once they stop fearing death, and especially once they break the system so people aren’t auto-sorted into cages of passivity without their People and Families -- once All of the Heavens function on grand scale like, say, Ash’s bar did -- once humanity has reclaimed the throne/garden. What IS there to fear? That’s the real question.

With the video TLDR spec minded, my hot take:

Whether before or after Cas gets yeeted to the Empty (probably after), he’s due to mirror Rowena’s unbirthing of hell for a long, long list of reasons. Which sure, is her final death. But it wasn’t her end, was it?

But it’s Castiel most definitely arranging a home in which the Winchesters can have peace.

While I see Sam being the one to throw open all the doors of heaven as Chuck did hell and lead a giant MOL resistance through it to TAKE back the throne (another reason I think Cas won’t be until after the Empty, because taking heaven back is  one thing but actually stabilizing it in all the omens of what happens if God disappears or w/e is another -- we’re talking 15.20 here) (also a note, berens wrote 12.22 as a two parter alongside Dabb for 23, and Dabb also wrote Inside Man where the Bobbies revolt), Cas is probably the one going to end up with that throne. Very loosely.

Because they can’t just throw it to their kid and put the weight of the world on his shoulders, it doesn’t break anything. And Rowena has gone from Cas foil to Cas mirror over the years, and even as far as, say, The Things We Left Behind -- much less later Funeralia when she actually MEANT IT, or anything else to follow -- it’s about regret over a child that our stupid battles pretty much condemned. Sam and Dean also have a foot in this story pond but it most centrally belongs to Cas.

So while Cas chases the path of the goddess (Mary, Rowena, Amara), and Sam subverts the allfather he was tied to this season (John, Chuck and yes, even histories of Dean himself), where is Dean? Well one, Dean’s always been tied to someone fans aren’t asking enough questions about right now: Death. Who is very, very prominent this year, and I think everyone has to go rewatch Two Minutes To Midnight right now, too. Focus on more than the pizza or even “one day I’ll reap god, too”. Just focus on it all. Hell, focus on the inversion of Death finding them inconsequential to them being important. Focus on it all.

Dean has emotionally lensed parts of Chuck’s pillar this season, but that’s not really HIS, that’s what Sam was directly tied to. Dealing with daddy issues has always been a Dean thing, and part of his residual anger and hurt are what drove him and Cas apart this year, so the Chuckmara mirroring he kinda filled that emotional slot, sure. But his mytharc positioning, I’m gonna need everybody to think about that.

Dabb has spent like, 2 years teaching people that it’s fine to let go in a mature way and process your grief. Both Sam and Jack got passed a philosopher’s stone in order from Dean to Cas to (cursed aeonchild), once in 15.09 and once in 15.13. The magenta light of death is on both Dean and Cas, but largely avoids Sam, and Jack after his rebirth, while they stand over the christchild in place of Joseph and Mary.

Be it Swan Song “I can’t keep treating you like a kid anymore; you’re a grown--well, overgrown--man”, to modern “But now... you are a grown man, and I am incredibly proud of you”; it’s recognition of the child as a man. Be it Dean’s 12.22 “I saw you. Back there. You’re ready for this.” -- be it John’s “What next?” while moving on. Be it “go, mom, be happy.” be it even when she died, and they thought of bringing her back, “I saw your mother’s heaven. And she is. Happy. She’s... with John. And there’s no hurt, there’s no pain, guilt. Just joy.”

Sam’s place is on earth. His chance to have a home. A family. Dean... Dean has a family. And sure, Sam does as part of that family. But to even be a head of a home. To HAVE a wife. And a son. To finish leaving behind his legacy. Dean... has his I’m sorry.

So let’s play a game, presuming relinquishing the angel’s hold on heaven is done. Saving Cas from the empty is done. But Cas is sitting on that heaven throne while they all look different ways on what to do. Sure, Jack could revive Sam and Dean and bring them back to earth even if Cas is stuck glued to heaven like Rowena is hell. But if Dean’s done his duty AND is proud of his brother beyond duty, if the monsters are all but taken care of short of some stragglers Sam’s legacy system with Eileen can clean up. And ultimately... someone still needs to raise Jack, yes-- what does that give us?

I saw you. You’re ready for this. Now, you’re a grown-- overgrown-- man. I can’t treat you like a kid anymore.

It’s okay, dadmom. You fought for me, raised me, loved me. That’s enough. Go. Be happy. I’ve got him.

So back to “Dabb’s Dark Side of the Moon, Ash bar, megascale”, well. I’m gonna say. They’re gonna need a good hand on deck for that dream to let people find their people, to find their heaven, hell, to decide if they haven’t found their people yet and go back and try again.

It’s not goodbye, it’s I’ll See You Later. Because there’s still parts of earth they can make better. Every day they can make it better. And once Sam has his life, full, he can and would rejoin them all, in heaven. Be that wayfarer bars or toes in the sand, a world where people, families--they’re just as real there as they are on earth, able to make their perfect worlds. Dean and yes, Cas, can go and make that world even ahead of Sam-- with John, and Mary, and whatever old friends they choose to see again. And Sam, and Jack -- and Eileen -- can live on earth. Because for years Dean has wanted Sam to have a life. And die old of something normal and have a kids and grandkids. Trial and Error (Dabb), anyone.

The issue is letting go without it either being suicidal ideation of destructive sacrifice. And I think that’s the framework we’re going to be delivered.

Could I be wrong, sure I guess, I’m human. But as of right now, that’s what I see.

Cas has always wanted to bring his People home. But who have his People become? While yes, being seated in that chair gives chance to make things right with a few remaining angels he would no doubt give a chance, humans reclaiming the garden and planet from the divine they surrendered it to (Hammer of the Gods, Dabb, if you read between the lines on the Billions of pagan gods), or reversing various sealings (Clip Show, Dabb, if you pay attention to how and why EACH WORLD WAS MADE TO BEGIN WITH and how many Falls there have been and WHY THE TABLETS EXIST TO BEGIN WITH), whatever. It wouldn’t really be about establishing authority--and in the end, I’m fairly certain the Castiel seated in that throne would be irrevocably human. Because it’s the human soul that’s immortal. Be it using his grace to establish a spell and reversing elements like in Sacrifice, or tied into the angel blood and human heart theme that’s screaming at us this year-- that’s pretty much where I see Cas ending up. 

So Dean and Cas separate off to heaven in one way, Sam and Jack another, but still fated to come back together. Sam will have Eileen waiting for him. And Jack to raise.

Because the point is that they were here at all and you got to know them. And when they’re gone, it WILL hurt. But that hurt will be a reminder of how much you love them. But learning to let go -- it’s a part of growing up.

I’ve seen you. You’re ready for this. I can’t keep treating you like a kid anymore. You’re a grown, overgrown, man, and I am incredibly proud of you.

Go, be happy.

“See you on the other side.”

If people can’t watch my vids and pull anything out of it, my second note is to go do a Dabberens rewatch. Pull up Dabb and Berens eps on superwiki, make yourself a chain. I WILL note most of 6 and 7 has been seemingly obsoleted by Dabb, which should surprise none of us with all the ball punches at season 7 he does, so if you wanna save yourself a few hours, feel free to bypass. Season 10 also seems to have been addressed in season 14, and everything after that is the onset of Dabb era, so once you get to season 11 (where Carver and Dabb were sharing) and/or 12 (where Dabb took over entirely), just do a straight run. I also won’t blame you for bypassing Bloodlines. 

But if you do truncate 6/7, and a few eps, I suggest replacing them with the finale of each season (4-14, 6 and 7 pretty much already addressed last year), because Dabb still heavily employs those whether they were his own or not. Before Carver came back Dabb was sitting in the upcoming showrunner slot even during Gamble era. Dude has been primed and paying attention for a long fucking time. Absolutely 0% of people should have been surprised at Dabb inheriting the show when he did. And he’s been telegraphing his ideas for this show for years. Notice how many eps I cited above have Dabb’s pen all over it.

It’s where my headspace already was but damn if it doesn’t put Dabb and Dabberens’ direction in scale.

So for all my talk of philosopher’s stone and Death and all of that, if you can’t bring yourself to wade through all 20 minutes of Grudge-Reflection, I ask you to at least think on symbolism here

undefined

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

bound to each other's hearts (this love is like wildfire)

Lizzington, The Blacklist. Sequel to Lost In The Forest Of This Heart. Cross-posted on AO3. Important notes can also be found there. 

I’m not in the fandom anymore and I don’t plan to make things for TBL ever again now that this is complete, but I had a surprising amount of fun rewatching the first two seasons in order to wrap up this series. Turns out, I do still love what it could have been. I’m glad to know that! And I’m grateful for the friends I made along the way. You all were definitely the best part of this show for me.

Summary: Between dealing with the Cabal and evading the FBI, Red and Liz try to figure out what the future holds for them both. 

He still doesn’t quite get it, Liz knows: that she wants more than separate lives, occasional dinners together or friendly evenings of chatting over wine and poker. Red isn’t fighting her on that front, but he doesn’t see himself in her picture. And if she’s being honest with herself, she knows that could be because she hasn’t yet decided on the specifics of it.

They settle into a new routine when they leave the Wisconsin safehouse, Liz full of single-minded determination and Red watching her warily whenever her attention is elsewhere. 

Much like he felt when they first went on the run, she is everywhere. Except it’s a different kind of awareness now, because she’s no longer so broken and he’s no longer an enigma. 

When she smiles at him, it’s unguarded, pulling him in. When she reaches for his hand or hugs him, he can tell she’s trying to make it commonplace. They are friends, or as close to it as they ever could be, and it’s eroding what’s left of his barriers. 

Over the next few weeks, they arrange meetings with Cabal members. Rather than by Red’s invitation directly, each is through trusted liasons, and Liz has fun playing with the disguises before they arrive at each site together. 

Red chooses the Cabal members they kill based on several factors, beginning with those who are high-profile and legally untouchable. It frustrates Liz to know it’s true, but some Cabal leaders are too powerful to be harmed by even the world-shaking effects of the Fulcrum leak.

Their list of targets is further trained on people inside the Cabal who have murdered or directed others to murder--especially on a large scale. That makes them especially dangerous enemies and also important to remove. It sends the message that no one who remains is safe.

At the third meeting, they take out two men simultaneously; Liz shoots the head of a multinational corporation before he can finish aiming at Red, and means it when she tells him later that she has no regrets. 

She feels safe with a gun holstered under her shirt again. She’s slowly moving past the guilt she’s been carrying since Connolly.

She feels even safer with Red’s hand hovering at the small of her back whenever they enter new situations. He expects her to hold her own, always has, but his presence--especially the way he’s reaching out more, relaxing around her--is a comfort. 

Liz has trusted him with her life since before it made sense, and that’s one of the things between them that remains the same. 

They’ve killed a handful of high-ranking Cabal members when something slips. 

Red thinks it was Julian, an associate he has trusted for decades. One he will never trust again. Whatever the weak link in his careful arrangements, instead of meeting Ingrid at the deserted farmhouse in dusty Kansas, they’re almost caught by the Task Force. 

Ressler and Samar are there, Samar’s eyes apologetic but her aim unflinching as she trains her gun on Liz. Ressler should be aimed at Reddington just as steadfastly, but his gaze flicks to Liz for the briefest of moments and that’s all Red needs. He takes the shot.

The second he does, chaos breaks loose between the FBI team and the men Red brought with them. Red and Liz take cover behind a rusted truck until Dembe pulls up in an SUV. Samar fires in their direction, but doesn’t stop their escape in the bulletproof vehicle.

Taking narrow backroads after that, they switch vehicles twice and don’t stop moving until they’re in Denver, letting the city swallow them up.

While Dembe is still driving, Red finds a bloody graze on Liz’s arm that she neglected to mention. 

“It was from Samar,” she tells him. "She could have fired on the tires or gas tank and stopped our escape entirely, but she didn’t.”

Their orders were clearly to capture, not to kill. This was just a warning shot.

She frowns. “But Ressler…”

“What about Ressler?” Red’s voice is gruff as he dabs at her arm. Since waving him off didn’t work, she lets him disinfect what’s barely even a wound. She hopes it’ll calm him down. 

“Red, you got a clean shot at him. Should we talk about that?”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He runs his fingers around the edges of her bandage, making sure the adhesive will hold. Reminding himself that this is the extent of the damage. It could have been so much worse. 

Her smooth skin is still warm, alive. Her eyes keep trying to find something in his. He can’t bear to look at her.

“If that were true, I don’t think you would seem so upset. I’ve seen you shoot people before and barely blink. Red--I know you’ve shot Ressler before. So what’s going on?”

“Nothing, Lizzie. We’ve already talked about this. They’ll chase us until this mess is over, one way or another. I gave them a distraction so we could escape. It’s that simple.”

“It’s not simple at all, though, is it. You’ve fought back to back with Ressler now. You know him. To face him and pull the trigger...I can’t imagine it.”

“I hope you never have to. But as you said, Donald and I have a history that goes back to long before you joined the Task Force. We only fought on the same side at times...to protect you. We were both on your side. Allegiances shift. Loyalties change.”

She nods. “That is incredibly sad.”

“Yeah.”

He shrugs and gently pats her arm. “At any rate, his injury, like yours, will be a flesh wound. He will recover. But if we’re lucky, he won’t be able to chase us for a while. We need to regroup.”

****

They move to the coast, spending a few weeks in Seattle, then Portland. The crowds pose more of a risk, especially with the Task Force having seen their faces...but they saw a blonde Liz and Red in a dark wig under his hat. 

Though he doubts that will fool them, he can hope.

Urban areas are the better option for now, even with the risks, because the crowds also offer anonymity. People in cities wish to mind their business and be left alone. Because Red can’t postpone it any longer--the endgame is approaching--Dembe joins them in their various apartments.

Red lights up in his company, and Liz laughs more. 

Mr. Kaplan only contacts them by phone; Red invites no one to meet in person. But well-paid colleagues are still picking off Cabal members, now with stealth and finesse. 

“It’s almost time,” Red tells Liz over dinner. They’ve been ordering groceries, grateful that local markets cater to shut-ins and fugitives, and cooking all their meals together instead of taking turns. She insists.

“Time for…”

“The end of it.” He smiles, slow and satisfied.

Liz takes another bite of the French fish dish he suggested they fix that evening, thinking it over. “But we’ve barely gotten started with the Cabal. Red--what exactly is the endgame here? We’ve never talked about it.”

He glances at Dembe, who nods appreciatively over his food, then aims that dangerous smile her way. “You see, Lizzie, it was so up in the air. There really wasn’t much to talk about while we waited to see what needed to be done. We poked holes in their organization. We weakened their trust in each other.”

“And now?”

“Now it has become clear to me that the best way to stop them, to neutralize them, is not to wipe them off the map. It’s to stoke that power vacuum and step into it.”

“Wait.” She raises her hand, letting her fork clatter on the china plate. “You’re telling me that you want to join the people who want me dead? Who tried to have me framed for murder?”

“These are also the people who had me on the run,” he reminds her. “Even before they became a force in your life. Surely, if you’ve learned anything since we met, it’s that the maxim is true: the closer you keep your enemies, the safer you are from their attacks.”

“We’re their enemies, too. Why would they welcome our involvement in their organization? They have us on the run, Red. They’re winning.”

“Are they? Seven of them have died in the last six weeks. Their numbers are many, but not limitless. They’re unwilling to meet in public. And we put their secrets on full display. I think we’re not the only ones on the run.”

“So you propose, what, a truce? An alliance?”

“Oh, heavens, no.” He dabs at his mouth with a cloth napkin. “Those sorts of things require trust. A level of mutual respect that can transcend disagreement. You cannot form an alliance with someone you know will murder you at the earliest opportunity. No, my plan is much more straightforward.”

He stands, holding his hand out for her plate. Liz passes it to him, waiting for further explanation.

“While we’ve been on our own the last few weeks, Mr Kaplan has been using her many skills to gather information. Following leads, hunting down trails I suspected might be fruitful. Thanks to her, and to Dembe--” he toasts his friend with a glass, “the final pieces are in place. Now we make a trade.”

Her hands, no longer busy eating, are free to grip the tablecloth in a moment of sheer blinding terror. Red loves to make these moves behind her back, playing chess and telling her nothing until checkmate. It would be just like him to trade himself for her freedom.

The exact opposite of what she wants, the last thing she will ever agree to. Bold and brave but completely futile--because the second he gives himself up for her, she knows she won’t be able to rest until she gets him back. 

Will they never stop this? Liz wonders, listening to the pounding of her heart as Red pauses long enough to blink at her.

“A trade of information,” he clarifies slowly, watching her with concern. “Lizzie, are you alright? You look...”

She nods, swallowing the taste of fear along with a fair amount of shame for the conclusion she was so ready to believe. It takes her a moment to gather her words. 

“So, you’re going to blackmail them, to give you a seat at the table. And then you’ll...run the table.”

Red’s smug smile wars with lingering worry. “Quite right. You already know that the Cabal runs through governments and militaries and nation-states alike. With the right leverage, I can make their hunt of us a liability that will hurt them far more than any success would ever be worth. I may even be able to get your former position back.”

“It would be nice to no longer be a fugitive,” she agrees. “Buy my own groceries sometimes. It’s impossible to surprise you with a menu when you know everything that arrives on our doorstep.”

“I understand. You’ll be free to buy whatever you like, then. And invite me for dinner, I suppose, if the mood strikes you. I would be amenable to that,” Red says with a more relaxed smile.

He still doesn’t quite get it, Liz knows: that she wants more than separate lives, occasional dinners together or friendly evenings of chatting over wine and poker. Red isn’t fighting her on that front, but he doesn’t see himself in her picture. And if she’s being honest with herself, she knows that could be because she hasn’t yet decided on the specifics of it. 

She knows she wants Red. That part is easy. 

But if what he’s saying is true, that he can use their leverage to clear her name, she will have more choices to make. Harder ones.  She worked her whole life to become an FBI agent, to earn her place as a profiler. She knows it’s something she’s good at. A career she was made for, even. 

But.

And then.

Raymond Reddington in a box. 

She isn’t that person anymore, if she ever really was--the young woman with the loving husband and the dog, nervous about her new desk job working in DC. The edge she lives with now, the side of herself that can hurt and hunt and kill...part of Liz thinks she has always had that darkness. Since she was a child. Maybe she was born with it. 

God knows that despite the blame she’s flung at Red, he isn’t the source of her darker tendencies. He did everything he could to steer her away from being more like him. And with all the harm she caused, her work on the Task Force also helped her save people. 

Liz stills wants to save people. She wants to use her skills for some kind of greater good. But she can’t pretend she’s a paragon of virtue going forward, no matter how clean her record is once Red gets done with it.

Which leaves her where, exactly? 

****

Liz goes with Red to the summit he sets up with the remaining core of the Cabal. She feels useless there, since he also brings a full guard of men armed to the nines. And he certainly doesn’t need her help to negotiate. Yet he insists on inviting her, shaking his head when she questions him. 

“I’d like you with me,” Red says, without explaining further. The understanding that he means it for himself--that he wants her by his side not to protect her, or humor her need to be involved--is a gift. So Liz takes it, and bites down hard on the urge to speak up during the information exchange.

Even if all her presence does is affirm their new unity as a team, she can see the value in that, for their strength in the eyes of the Cabal. Word will spread in the underground Red travels, making its way eventually back to the FBI.

Everyone will know that Red has made a play for greater power, and that Liz was right there with him when it happened. She wonders what her old friends will think: if Samar will understand her choices, if Aram will worry that she didn’t make them freely. If Ressler will get that defeated look in his eyes and consider her a lost cause. 

She can’t blame any of them for their judgments from a distance--they don’t know what she knows. But she’s never felt clearer, not lost but found. The Cabal can be run by people who want her dead for threatening their supremacy, or it can be run by Red. 

Who she trusts to find the right balance between control and domination. Who she knows will keep the rest of the Cabal on a tight leash. 

As Liz sits with him in a glass-and-chrome boardroom, watching the Cabal give him the command he requires, she suspects he’s already seeking out leverage to hold over each member. 

Mr. Kaplan has been hard at work again, coming to their newest safehouse, passing Red messages. Now that he’s busily reining the Cabal in, he and Liz don’t have to move every few days--and his family can visit safely. Dembe stays over for a week, recommending books to Liz and telling her stories about Red when they first met. 

"Don’t believe a word of it,” Red warns her. “This man is a notorious fibber.” But his eyes shine with joy when he looks at the two of them. 

Liz has never seen him so happy. So settled. Power suits him. 

Red finds her in her room one night, strolling casually through the open door. He has learned the hard way that if he tries to return to polite formality, Liz will roll her eyes at him or ask “What are you waiting for, gold filigree?” without looking up from what she’s doing. 

“It took longer than I would have liked,” he says, unprompted. “But it’s finished.”

“What?” She has no idea what he’s talking about, since the Cabal restructuring was completed a week earlier.

“Your record has been erased.”

Liz sets her book down. “My criminal record?”

She’d forgotten Red was even working on that, and she knows she should feel excited. Or relieved. A rush of something should be washing over her. Instead she feels numb. 

“Yes. It’s been fully expunged, as though none of this ever happened."

And there it is, she thinks. That would be why.

“But, Red,” she corrects him gently, “it did happen. Erasing my record can’t take any of it back. I still have to live with it.”

He sighs. “I wish this could be easier, Lizzie, I really do.”

“Well, it’s not.” 

She reaches out and grabs hold of his hand, tugging him over to sit next to her on the bed. “It’s okay that it’s not, though, Red. It really is. I’m okay.”

“Yeah.” She does look okay lately, he has to admit. Red expected this news to bring her peace, but Lizzie seemed content even before it. 

Now she smiles at him, still holding his hand loosely. “Got a minute?”

“Sure.” He turns a little more to face her, giving her his full attention. 

“Since you mentioned it, I’ve been thinking a lot about what comes next for me. All those choices I have now, you know? With a clean slate.”

Red nods. 

“I could go back to working at the FBI. As a profiler. It might take some string-pulling, but you’re good at that.” 

“I’m sensing a ‘but.’”

“That’s because you know me,” Liz says. “The Task Force only existed because you wanted to keep me close and take down the Cabal. Which means there will never be a Task Force again. Not like there was.”

“I know.”

“But even if they’re not hunting me...you cleared my name, Red, not yours. You will have to stay like this, won’t you? In the wind, still a wanted criminal.”

“Yes.” 

That doesn’t bother him; he’s used to his routine. But Red can’t tell what Liz is working towards in her explanation. It worries him.

“So the only way I can have a normal life is if I never see you again.”

“Not never,” he assures her. “You know that I’m capable of moving freely, off the radar of all manner of authorities. We can still...see each other.” Dinners maybe, he thinks. Game nights with Dembe. Arguing over which movie to watch.

“That isn’t going to work for me.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t want a few secret visits a year, Red, while I pretend to be an upstanding FBI agent.”

“I would argue that you wouldn’t be pretending, Lizzie. Even FBI agents are allowed to have friends. Of all stripes.”

“That’s not really the point. With my past already laid bare for the world to see, who would ever let me keep a low profile at a desk again?”

Red frowns, following her logic.

“You can whitewash my record all you want, but my face was on the news. That future is gone. And without you in it, I wouldn’t want it anyway.”

“Well, then. What do you want?”

“I don’t belong at the FBI anymore, but I still have all my training. All my skills. Red--I think we should start our own Blacklist.”

He clears his throat, genuinely surprised. “Our own Blacklist?”

“Yes.” She let go of his hand to gesture with both of hers. “Just think about it. We stopped a lot of terrible people with the Task Force. We could go back to doing that, now that we’re done running. You have your own access, your own connections, and yours are better than the FBI’s a lot of the time.” 

“Lizzie, I understand wanting to help people--I love that about you--but I worked with the Task Force to my own ends. I was never on a crusade to better the world.”

“So? So what if you’re not looking to atone for your sins and make the world better? It can be my crusade. I have my own sins, Red, and I don’t need your reasons to be the same as mine. I’m asking you to work with me anyway, because we’d be good at it.”

Red flexed his empty hand, trying to imagine it. “I suppose I would be your best resource for catching uncatchable criminals.”

“You would. And if we had leads we couldn’t follow up on, I’m pretty sure we could find a way to tip off Samar or Aram, without giving up our locations.”

Liz bit her lower lip while he thought it over. “Well? What do you say?”

“I think it’s a brilliant idea.” 

Red grinned, his smile stretching even wider when she hugged him. “It sounds perfect for your talents--and I can certainly think of some people whose neutralization would improve my hold on the Cabal.”

“See? Win-win.” 

“But, Lizzie...you’re sure this is the path you want to follow? Playing judge and jury, outside the law? It’s not a decision you can take back, once you begin.”

She nods, a firm dip of her chin. “I’m sure. The worst criminals work outside the law, untouchable. You taught me that. Somebody should be responsible for them, and I’m in a unique position to try. Who will do it if I don’t?”

“Okay, then.” Red pats her leg, pleased. “It will be fun to have a reason to work together more closely again. I’ve been so busy restructuring the Cabal lately, I’ve missed you.”

“Me too.” Liz eyes him across the inches that separate them on her bed. “Speaking of that.”

“Hmm?”

“I want to spend more time together.”

He shifts in place. “As I said, I look forward to it. Getting us settled and safe had to take priority, Lizzie, but of course I hope to have more time with you now. We should decide what to make for dinner.”

“No, Red. I don’t mean--” Liz takes a deep breath, trying to figure out how to explain without causing him to withdraw. 

“I love you,” she begins. 

He smiles at her, soft around his eyes. “I love you, too.”

One of the benefits of things settling down has been watching Red get comfortable with her affection. She says the words often, deliberately. Hearing him say them back is nice...but Liz knows he doesn’t mean it the way she does. 

He hears love and thinks family and friendship. And sure, they’re close in that way too, but she keeps saying it and waiting for Red to hear attraction and commitment, and it just doesn’t seem to be happening. 

With Red, blunt often backfires. Half the time, they end up in an argument, even when that isn’t her intention. But being gentle and trying to drop hints has been totally lost on the criminal mastermind she's all but living with.

So, blunt is the only option she has left to try. 

“Red...I’m in love with you.”

“You--what?”

“That’s what I mean when I say I want to spend more time with you. I want to spend it differently; I want to be closer to you. I want to share my life with yours.” She pauses, scared of the look on his face--it’s unfamiliar, and she knows his expressions well. 

“That’s the future I want: hunting Blacklisters, working together when you’re not busy with the Cabal...but also date nights. Early mornings and staying up late. Being together. Getting to a place where I know exactly what I want hasn’t been easy, Red, but I’m there now. I need to know what you want.”

Of all the situations he has tried to be ready for, Red feels shockingly unprepared for this one. 

A small part of him wondered, when she declared that she loved him in Wisconsin, if perhaps she meant it in this way. But he considered that part a traitor, hope running wild. Allowing himself to hope has often been--historically speaking--both foolish and dangerous. 

Lizzie has always been dangerous, because he can’t seem to defend himself against her. That’s what love is--being powerless. 

He loved her even before he walked back into her world; that was a lifetime of fondness mixed with debt and guilt. But it’s different knowing her as the woman she is now. He can’t imagine not loving her...and though he tries not to think about it, he can’t imagine not wanting her.

Admitting that out loud would be a betrayal of all Lizzie could have beyond him, and of the effort he’s expended to hold himself back from her.

“Being with me would make the target on your back infinitely bigger,” he tells her, hoping to walk the line between evasion and lying. “Combining our lives further...would be a terrible idea. Yours has already seen so much darkness, Lizzie. You don’t need to add more of mine.”

She’s patiently listening, though her hands are pressed down into the bed beneath them. He knows she’ll push back; he isn’t done.

“I need you to really think about what you’re saying. Lizzie, I know you’re a good person. In a way that I’m not. The idea that you and I could--” 

He swallows. “Have dates, or some sort of uncomplicated life, be a couple. It seems unrealistic given what I am, and who you are. You can love me and still keep yourself safe, keep a distance.”

“Reddington, I have no interest in keeping a distance. I’m trying to tell you that.”

Liz reaches up to touch his cheek. “I want less distance. I want you.”

“I will always choose you, no matter the harm to others,” Red explains. “Anyone who is a threat, even those you care about--it will always be that simple for me. I don’t have room for your morality.”

“I know.”

“How can you sit here and say that doesn’t matter to you?”

“Because it used to.”

Liz nods at the way he leans back. “I used to worry, a lot, about the way I felt pulled to you. Knowing everything you are, I worried what it said about me. Because it didn’t bother me--because I don’t care. Not the way I thought I should...the way a good person would.”

“The truth is, Red, I’ve made peace with it. I know you’re not a monster, no matter how often I used to throw that word at you. I know it because I’ve seen the real monsters. The people we caught, they were greedy and twisted and cruel. They were evil. But you’re not them.”

What’s coming next feels inevitable to Red. He can sense it, see it in her eyes. Evasion won’t be enough to save him. Nothing can save him. Salvation was never within his reach.

Sinning, though, he is well familiar with. Give me my sin again, he thinks foolishly, as yearning dislodges errant Shakespeare from the recesses of his mind.

"You don’t kill for pleasure, or entertainment. You’re willing to do whatever you have to, to protect others or save yourself. And we don’t have to have that in common for me to understand it.”

“I understand you,” Liz tells him. “Which is why I know as well as you do, you never answered my actual question. I did not ask you for a list of reasons why I should run for the hills rather than be with you. I asked what you want.”

She says it as though it’s a simple question. It’s probably the most difficult one he’s ever tried to answer.

“Forget the Cabal for a minute,” she offers. “Forget all our other enemies, including my old employers. Forget our complicated history, and think about the future. Yours and mine. What do you see?”

“Lizzie...”

“The manhunt is over,” she says, gazing into his guarded eyes. “It’s just us now. Here, in this moment, it’s only you and me. So tell me, Red...what do you really want?”

You. 

He watches her as she approaches, and doesn’t react at all when her lips meet his. It would be the easiest thing in the world to give in. That’s what scares him. 

When she finds herself kissing a statue of the Concierge of Crime, Liz hums a little in her throat and retreats, studying Red.

They’ve come so far from where they started; he’s not a mystery to her anymore. 

She can read his tensed muscles, coiled so tight he seems like he’ll shatter if pushed. A pulse is jumping along the column of his throat. His hands are motionless on the bedspread, but she sees the tips of his fingers curling into the material–gripping ever so subtly.

Raymond Reddington is holding onto himself for dear life, and that tells her two very important things. First, that he desperately wants to avoid touching her back…and second, that he has to stop himself from doing so with visible effort.

Which means that he wants his hands, and mouth, and skin, on hers more than anything in the world, but will not allow himself the satisfaction.

Liz smiles.

She can work with that.

[heyits-kk]

One Door Closes, The Devil Opens Another

Chapter 1

Summary: How does one enter an elevator in New York and end up in LA, specifically Lucifer Morningstar's elevator? I have no idea, but I need to find out and enlist the help of the devil himself.

AO3 | FFN

Life in New York isn't as grand and magical as it is in shows and movies. Yes, there are moments, like the holidays, and specific areas that have a feeling of wonder, but honestly it's mainly for tourists. At the same time, growing up here makes you appreciate the little nuances of the city finding hidden gems along the way. New York is still the place I’d rather be than anywhere else. That's how I feel about it, Kate, a twenty-eight year old woman currently pushing her way through the onslaught of people trying to make an appointment. I’m only about two minutes away, but sadly ten minutes late.

"Why did they have to choose such a busy area?" I mumble to myself while trying to fix my dark brown, almost black, straightened hair. Giving up and I decide to pull it up into a high ponytail. "And why during rush hour of all times!?" I exclaim.

I reach the building at Union Square and luckily catch the elevator. While going up to the tenth floor, I check that my equipment is okay from all the jostling earlier. Sighing in relief, I smile to myself and rejoice, "Great, now to work some magic!"

Three hours later and I’m all alone packing up my things ready to leave after having a smooth session with the client. Usually it wouldn't take long to put everything away, but for someone who's five feet juggling a lot of cumbersome items and exhausted, it's a bit more time consuming, not that I mind. I’m not someone who likes to be social all the time, I’m definitely an introvert. After having to be professional and chatty for so long, I can now recharge my batteries in the quiet.

The only sound in the empty studio is the slight hum and ticking of the pipes from the central heating. Complimenting the sound are lights dancing on the ceiling as cars pass the side of the building. Plus, in this alone time, I can freely sing to myself without worry of any judging ears. So, I start a playlist from Spotify on the phone and get lost in the music as I finish up.

Another ten minutes goes by and I pack the last few things neatly in the bags. At the same moment of me taking a sip of water, a slow song starts to play, a love song. Usually I loves slow songs, but after the session today with the couple, seeing them so in love with each other, it just makes me sigh. "One day..." I quietly say to myself. When it comes to the romance department, I’m a romantic, but fail horribly at it and I just don't try anymore. I tell my friends that I don't care and it’s fine, but as I see them with their partners of many years now getting engaged, I can't lie anymore. No matter how enjoyable it is to have that alone time, it doesn't mean I want it to be all the time. Shaking my head to get rid of those thoughts I tell myself sternly, "No need to think about that now. My time will come...there's no rush."

I stop the song before it finishes and assume that I'll be met with silence again, but that's not the case. Surprised, I turn to the window noticing that it's now raining heavily. Moving closer to the huge windows, I jump seeing a flash in the dark sky followed by a loud booming rumble.

"Are you kidding me?" I moan throwing my head back. I turn to the three large bags that were hauled here earlier today. "There's no way I can take these in the rain. I mean, they say the bags are waterproof...but I'm not risking it." I contemplate for a moment and fiddle with the two rings on my right hand, before deciding the only thing I can do at the moment. Putting on my jacket, getting my phone and grabbing my backpack, I head to the elevator. I step in and press the button for the lobby.

"I'll just ask for them to hold it and pick it up tomorrow, that should be fine." I remark while playing with the rings again and looking at the numbers slowly descending. Checking the time, it's 11pm. Sighing I mumble, "Maybe I can still rewatch at least one episode of Lucifer with some ice cream before bed." I smile thinking about the show. It's been one of my favorite shows recently. I’ve already binged the whole series and even saw a tiny clip of Lucifer guest starring in a CW show that aired recently. I’m definitely excited to see what happens in series five, but until then I'll rewatch the previous seasons.

The elevator dings and I step out into the lobby. I shuffle over to the doorman and ask, "I have equipment that I can’t take with me in the rain. Is it possible for me to leave it here and pick it up in the morning?"

"What floor is it on?" He asks me with a tired expression.

"It's on floor ten, the studio." I quickly respond.

The doorman sighs before saying, "That's fine by me, but come early or your stuff may not be there when you come back."

"Thank you so much! I'll make sure to be here as soon as the building opens. Have a good night." I respond happily. The doorman does a quick nod and goes back to his computer.

I then escort myself out of the building and into the rain. There wasn't supposed to be any rain today, but now it's a full-on heavy downpour. Sadly, I get soaked in a matter of seconds because an umbrella was not needed earlier today. Hurrying down the block, I stop halfway digging into my pocket for a Metro card only to find out the keys to my apartment aren’t there. With a loud groan, I turn around and rush back into the building.

Expecting to still see the doorman at his station since it’s only been a minute, I surprisingly see there’s no one in the lobby, not even the janitor. Thinking to myself, 'Okay...weird. I like the quiet, but not this eerie vibe going on. Let me just quickly get my keys before I'm locked in this building.' I scramble quickly to the elevator and tap my foot impatiently waiting for it. Glancing out the glass doors, the storm somehow gets worse. From the corner of my eye I see something flicker near the elevator, but as I turn my head back nothing seems out of the ordinary.

Finally, the elevator opens and I jump inside. Everything goes smoothly until the second floor, where the elevator light blinks. Again I fidget with my rings getting nervous, thinking, ‘Please don't let me get stuck in here.' Once the elevator passes the fifth floor, it jerks to a halt.

"No no no no!" I exclaim with my back against the wall. There's a moment of silence in the air and just as I start to relax a little, the light starts to flicker rapidly. "No! What the hell is going on!? Help! Help!" I shout in a panic. The elevator starts to shake and I fall to the floor. There’s nothing to do but hug my knees thinking, 'It's going to fall! I'm going to die! I was just going to get my keys and go home! Why me!?’ I sob as the shaking continues, 'Help me please! Help...'

Opening my eyes, I squint through the flashing lights and notice the elevator walls seem different, like they're glowing. I hesitantly reach out my hand to touch the wall and in that moment, the lights slow their erratic behavior. 'They're....gold? But, it was gray before. How?' I ponder. The shaking also stops and I slowly get to my feet glancing around now. 'It wasn't this big before.' stating to myself. From the corner of my eye, I spot the elevator buttons have changed as well. There are way more floors and at the bottom there’s a keypad.

Completely confused I question, "Where the hell am I?" As if someone is listening to me, the door opens. However, it just leads to more confusion and now panic. As soon as I stumble out, something large flies right in front of my eyes and crashes into, what looks to be in the millisecond I saw in the dark lit room, shelves of glass bottles. On reflex, I close my eyes and throw my arms up to shield myself from the flying shards. Suddenly, I hear the crunching of the glass and a groan that's not my own. Upon hearing footsteps slowly approaching and a voice that I somehow recognize, I immediately lift my head directing my eyes towards the sounds.

"You justify it all, don't you?" remarks the man with a posh sounding English accent in a tailored suit. He grabs a tall muscular man that got up from where the glass shelves were before by the neck. I can only stare in utter shock thinking, 'That's...not...possible.'

The well-dressed man goes on clearly agitated, "Claim it's all done in the name of our father, but... it's for your sake, brother. And they call me the prideful one."

"Enough!" someone yells from the left side of me. The two men and I turn our heads towards the female voice. Before I’m even able to begin processing what is happening, the female continues, "I'm the pawn. You both used me." She approaches the men and pulls out two curved daggers from her back as she hisses out, "You know what? Here. Kill each other." The woman slams both the daggers down onto a table in front of her and marches back to the stairs leading downward. The woman pauses a moment and adds dryly, "By the way..." She points her finger directly at me lazily. This snaps me out of the daze I was in and reminds me just how nervous I am at the moment. The woman’s eyes linger on me with a straight face stating, "...you have an audience."

She then disappears down the stairs while I feel two sets of eyes now directly on me. Slowly, I peek over at the men and they are in fact staring at me with confusion and wide eyes. The tailored man releases his grip from the muscular one and starts advancing my way slowly.

"Well, hello. Who are you supposed to be and what business do you have with me?" He says with a tight smile clearly not in the mood. I try to stutter out anything, but with my mind blank and throat dry, no words come out. The man insists more annoyed, "Well?"

As he moves closer, I lift my arms instinctively, but when I do, all it results in is pain. I was already lightheaded with feeling overwhelmed with what has been going on, but presently I have a feeling it was actually for a different reason. Peering down at the source of the pain, I stare at the torn and blood-soaked sleeves of my jacket. Slowly turning my arms, there's glass shards on the back of them.

From the horrifying experience of the elevator to the scene I just witnessed with the men and woman. Of course to top it all off with the shock of my injuries, it's too much. I start to take rapid short breaths with my eyes flashing up to the man in front of me who now wears a slight bit of concern on his face. He starts to fade from my vision and then my knees give out. Instead of feeling the impact of the glass covered floor, I feel a set of arms catch me.

"Bloody hell." I hear the English man curse under his breath. I muster up what I could to lift my head and try to utter something to the man gazing down with some anticipation.

All I can mutter before blacking out is, "Tom?"

The first thing that grabs my attention when slowly waking up is that it’s dark which suggests that it’s still nighttime. I try to lift my body, but quickly fails because of a stinging sensation. However, from that little bit of movement, I gathered some information of my whereabouts. My hands feel again what I’m laying on and it’s the texture of silk. I think to myself, ‘I don’t have anything silky in my apartment.’

With an attempt number two, now anticipating the ache, I successfully bring myself up into a sitting position. I take a moment to glance down at my arms to reveal they’re bandaged and the source of the pain. Shaking my head slightly and blinking a few times allows me to get my eyes adjusted to the dark just enough to figure out my location. The room is definitely big along with the bed I’m in. ‘Okay, am I in a luxury suite at a hospital, if they have something like that? Or maybe some rich philanthropist saved me from the falling elevator and I’m now at their penthouse. If neither of the two, then I have no idea and I should probably get out fast.’ Before fully leaving the bed, I’m stopped with the realization that something or things are missing on my person. ‘Where are my clothes!?’ I shout internally. With a new sense of alertness and energy, I jump out of the bed onto the cold wooden floors. Gathering the large sheet that was used to cover me, I try to wrap it around myself the best that I can. Continuing my thoughts, ‘There is no way this situation is good. My arms are bandaged and I’m naked! I have to get out of here.’

Perpendicular and off to the left of me there was a large open alcove. Bunching the bottom of the sheets so I don’t trip, I tiptoe silently. As I get closer, there’s a muffled voice, maybe two. They’re almost clear when I arrive at the edge of the alcove.

“What about her?” says a man with a deep voice. It triggers something in me, like I somehow have heard the voice before, but I brush it off to focus back on the task at hand. It’s not until I hear the other person that I freeze and I stop breathing for a moment.

“Ah right, the girl. Well, I’ll deal with that, brother.” comes a reply from a man with an English accent. I involuntarily let out a small gasp and hurriedly cover my mouth. It’s too quiet and they most likely heard me. I press my back against the wall and squeeze my eyes shut in hopes I wasn’t caught. I relax a little when the other guy adds mumbling, “And just when I thought I could have quiet evening after the night I had.”

The deep voice responds, “Just don’t scare her.” Suddenly there's a noise that sounds like a gust of wind.

Resting my head against the wall I remove my hand from my mouth and finally take the time to process the information. It’s coming back, what happened to me and why I blacked out. I think to myself, ‘I went back to get my keys, the elevator shook and I thought I was going to die…maybe I did? Or maybe I’m in a coma? Or it could be an elaborate prank? Those are the only ways this can make sense, how I’m here now…in this place…with them…with him.’ My thoughts are interrupted by a loud voice.

“Are you going to stand there all night pretending you’re invisible?” he asks.

Before hesitantly creeping out from behind the alcove I take a deep breath to try to control my nerves that have rapidly bubbled to the surface. I grip the sheets tightly as if they’re my lifeline to not fainting again as I finally take in the location. I’m definitely in a large penthouse, but this one is surprisingly all too familiar. The elevator door, the library, the balcony, the piano, and the bedroom I was previously in. The only difference is the smashed up bar area. To top it all off is the man who it belongs to, standing up from the leather chair with a glass of expensive whiskey in his hands. This is the Lux penthouse and the man right in front of me is Lucifer Morningstar.

I attempt to gather my thoughts, ‘I…but how…he’s…no cameras…this can’t be real.’ I must have looked dumbfounded staring at everything because Lucifer speaks again.

“Yes, I know this place is impressive, well excluding the bar. Sorry about the mess…and your arms. Good thing you humans have good reflexes or that would have been your face.” Lucifer says nonchalantly while taking a sip of his whiskey. I peel my eyes away from gazing at everything to look down at my arms with my hands gripping hard on the bed sheet, which then reminds me I’m still naked.

“My clothes.” I squeak out since my throat is in dire need of something to drink.

Lucifer casually states, “They’re hanging up in my bedroom. I couldn’t let you on my bed when you were soaking wet in them.”

My expression turns to shock and I ask, “Did you—”

“No, I had Maze take your clothes off.” He interrupts rolling his eyes. Lucifer then scoffs, “I have enough decency to not strip someone when they’re unconscious.” I let out a small sigh of relief, but at the same time think, ‘Maze isn’t that innocent…’ Lucifer then continues, “Anyway, enough with the small talk. I need some answers.”

I nod trying to clear my scratchy throat with no luck, so I ask him, “Do you have anything to drink?” He ponders for a moment then gestures me to sit on his leather couch.

As I shuffle over and sit, he moves towards the pile of broken glass at the bar. As Lucifer rummages through the mess, I suddenly have a thought, ‘So…there are no cameras, I can feel pain so it’s not a dream and it doesn’t make sense that this is what happens to me if I died. A coma is the most logical reasoning, but…what if this is actually real? It’s hard to believe it is because how? How did I get here? Why me? And…should I tell Lucifer or any of them they’re a show? That they’re fictional to me?’ I get pulled out of my thoughts with a glass being waved in my face. Taking a hand away from the vice grip I have on the bed sheet I grab it. My fingers ever so slightly touch his during the transfer and I jump a little at the contact. ‘Okay, so this can’t be a coma. I don’t think it can…feel this real if it was. I don’t know. I’ve never been in one before, but…it’s a gut feeling.’ I conclude to myself. I take a sip of the contents in the glass without even looking and immediately regret it coughing.

“Sorry, I know it’s not right to give alcohol to minors, but it’s all I had that wasn’t completely shattered. Besides, it looks like you need it.” Lucifer says as he takes a seat on the chair across from me crossing his legs. I take another swig now expecting the taste of whiskey and it’s much better. Then I let his words sink in thinking, ‘Every...time.’

I sigh responding, “I’m not a minor…I’m twenty-eight.”

“Oh well now you could’ve fooled me with your height alone. Anyway, now we’re getting somewhere! Finally some information!” Lucifer says light-heartedly with a grin and continues, “So how about a name?”

“Kate Perkins.” I tell him.

He nods gently and says, “So, Kate Perkins, why did you come to my penthouse dripping wet from head to toe when there wasn’t a drop of rain earlier that day? I mean, unless you fell into a pool?” I knew the question was coming, but what I didn’t expect was him referring to the events as “that day.”

“Isn’t it the same night?” I ask him confused.

He chuckles replying, “Oh no darling, you were out for quite a while and a lot happened when you were out.”

I hesitantly ask, “How long was I out?”

“All that…” Lucifer points to the bar continuing, “…was last night.” He takes a sip of whiskey while adding, “You actually weren’t in my bed until about an hour ago.”

“What do you mean?” I ask even more confused.

Now Lucifer scoffs leaning forward to pour more whiskey for himself saying, “If you must know, after you fainted I got framed for murder, and had to run from the police with the help of my brother. He for some reason brought you with us and after visiting my therapist to hideout, we left you with her to tend to your injuries.” If I wasn’t familiar with the show, I would be figuring out a way to run from him. However, this gave me helpful information in terms of my situation. ‘If I’m remembering correctly, that’s part of what happened in an episode…excluding me. I’m not sure which one, but…is this really going to play out like the show?’ Lucifer then adds, "I brought you back after I settled everything because I have questions. So, let’s continue shall we? Why did you come looking for me?”

Without even thinking about my answer I blurt out, “I wasn’t.”

“Then what was your purpose for coming here?” he asks. This time I take a moment and think, ‘I guess I’ll just tell him…but not everything.’

I respond truthfully, “I don’t know.”

Lucifer downs his drink then sighs clearly getting agitated and orders, “Elaborate.”

I take a deep breath staring at my hand while fidgeting with my rings and explain, “I’m from New York. Last night, I was there, in a building cleaning up from a photoshoot. When I finished it was raining.” I pause and correct myself, “No…it was a huge storm. I left my equipment and went down the elevator then left the building. I got soaked because I didn't bring an umbrella, but there was no storm scheduled for that day.” I glance over at Lucifer to see him listening, but gesturing me to get to the point. I sigh and speak again, “I left my apartment keys and went back to get them. It was odd going back because the lobby, that had at least three people, including the doorman, were suddenly gone.”

“Probably clocked out early.” Lucifer chimes in.

“No! I was gone for not even a minute and it was deserted!” I exclaim getting a little too emotional and it grabs Lucifer’s attention. I calm down and continue explaining, “Anyway, um…I had to go back to the studio, it was on the tenth floor. The light on the elevator started flickering when I reached the second floor, but I just thought it was because of the storm.” I chuckle thinking how stupid I was for that thought. Getting to the main part I grip the sheet tightly and then say, “It’s not until I got to the fifth floor that suddenly the lights went crazy and the elevator shook violently which made me fall to the ground.” I take a deep breath and mutter, ”I…I thought I was going to...”

I must have paused for too long because Lucifer asks, “What happened?”

I grasp my drink taking a sip and say, “I don’t know how to make it seem like I’m not crazy, but the elevator changed. The one I was in had small gray walls with the floors going up to fourteen. Then right before my eyes, the walls were gold, it was bigger and had more thirty floors with a keypad. The door opens and I see you choke-holding someone.” I take a breath and finish, “That’s what happened to me and I don’t understand.” Finally I lift my head to see Lucifer was no longer sitting in the chair, but by the balcony with his back to me.

There’s a period of silence before he speaks, “So, essentially you’re telling me that you transported from New York to here through elevators and you don’t know how or why?”

I give him a simple yes getting up and mumble, “Do you believe me?”

Somehow he hears and responds, “Yes, but it might not be as simple as you transporting across the country.” He huffs and steps out onto his balcony. ‘Yea, I know that’s true because I wouldn’t be talking to you if that was the case.’ I remark to myself. I proceed to follow him outside hanging back a little and watch as he lights a cigarette. After taking a long drag, he informs me, “There are such things as other worlds, specifically Earth and you my dear…” He turns to me and states, “…somehow jumped from yours to this one.” I remember the small CW clip of him that hinted about other Earths, but never thought it applied to real life.

The only logical response is asking, “How do I get back?”

Apparently this makes Lucifer laugh and say, “Oh darling, for me it’s simple, but for you humans, I have no clue.” He notices my silence and clears his throat adding, “But if you got here, you can probably get back.” I ponder for a good second before I make a decision I will most likely regret. I ask myself, ‘Should I really do this?’ With no other options, I walk up next to Lucifer a few feet away, lean on the railing and stare out at the view.

“Can you help me?” I mutter quickly.

He turns his gaze towards me, responding, “What was that?”

I take a deep breath and repeat, “Can you help me find a way to get back?”

“Are you asking for a favor?” he asks smirking.

“Yes.” I tell him. Expecting Lucifer to give me his hand to make it official, I lift my own up, but surprisingly that’s not the case.

Instead he says, “Before we make a deal, I have a few more questions.”

I’m curious about what else he wants to know and ask, “What else is there?”

“Well you my dear have been acting odd.” He accuses turning fully towards me. Before I can ask him what he means, Lucifer continues, “Ever since you’ve woken up, you have not asked me about your current whereabouts, question as to why I call people “humans,” and you just fully accepted that there’s more than one Earth. Furthermore, you have not even asked me for my name. The only thing you did ask me was how long you slept and for a drink.” I try to keep my composure when he moved closer until he towered over me while he spoke. ‘Okay…I’m in trouble. Telling him that his life is a television show and he’s fictional on my Earth would not be a good idea. I need to think of something fast, but he’ll know when I’m lying.’ I internally panic.

My thoughts are put on hold when Lucifer looks directly into my eyes and asks, “Tell me Ms. Perkins, what is it that you—” I interrupt him by tearing my eyes away and turning back towards the view of Los Angeles. ‘Oh no no! He is not going to do that to me! I have no idea what I’ll say. I might spill the truth to him, so I can’t risk it.’ I mull over while glancing over to Lucifer from the corner of my eye. He’s clearly annoyed that I pulled away before he finished.

“Well that’s because…” I start lingering a little before I continue, “…I just experienced this weird phenomenon in an elevator that I can’t explain and you seem to have the answer. I decided I’m just going to accept anything else that’s odd because why fight something I can’t control in this moment?” I then add, “Also, it looks like I'm in Los Angeles and after you asked for my name, I assumed you would introduce yourself.” Hoping that relieves his suspicion of me, I peer back over to Lucifer. He adjusts his suit and stands a little straighter.

He holds out his hand and once I hesitantly grasp it, he smirks introducing himself, “Lucifer Morningstar.” I’m unsure if he fully trusts me, but I’ll take it as a good sign. ‘I have to be more careful with how I act around him from now on.’ I make a mental note.

“Lucifer? Meaning—” I say acting the way he’s expecting me to.

He let’s go of my hand and finishes, “The Devil.” Even though I’ve watched him have this interaction on the show a number of times, it feels different. When it was on the show, I liked seeing the reaction of the person and I smiled. However, with Lucifer addressing it to me, with the smirk he always has on his face, it’s a bit unsettling. It’s not a show anymore. This is the actual devil standing in front of me. However, I do have an idea, ‘I've always wanted to mess with him and shake him up a bit when it came to this.’

“So…what would you like me to call you?” I ask him casually and before he responds I finish with, “Beelzebub? Satan? Lord of Darkness?” The only sign I see of Lucifer being caught off-guard by response is the slightest eye twitch.

He chuckles and says with a tight smile, “Firstly, it’s usually prince, not lord. And secondly, again you don’t seem to be…surprised with the fact that I just told you I’m the devil. Do you think I'm lying? Because the devil never lies.”

“Well, like I said before…I’ve already had strange things happen to me. It actually makes sense with the explanation you gave me about multiple Earths. I would think the devil is the one to know about things like that.” I reply to him. There’s an unexpected silence which causes me to look over at Lucifer only to find him staring at me with a puzzled expression. “What?” I ask him.

“So, you believe me, yet you’re not afraid?” he questions.

I confirm, “Yea,” and explain, “you haven’t given me a reason to be afraid. I mean, the situation, especially waking up without clothes, scares me, but you’ve actually been kind of helpful.” My outside response is different from what I’m thinking, ‘Plus, it helps that I knew who you were beforehand.’

Lucifer clears his throat and speaks, “Right well,” he puts out the cigarette and holds his hand out announcing, “I’ll help you get back to your Earth, but I’ll require a favor from you whenever I choose to use it.” This is what the night has been leading up to, making a deal with the devil.

I lock on to his hand, take a deep breath, and shakily take his in mine saying, “Okay, it’s a deal.”

“Great!” Lucifer chimes while turning to go back inside, “We’ll meet and start first thing tomorrow, it’s been a long day.” I follow behind, but stop with the realization I have nowhere to go.

Feeling stupid, I stammer out, “I need another favor.”

Lucifer spins on his heels and scoffs, “Honestly, we haven’t even fulfilled our first agreement.”

“I need a place to stay.” I mumble embarrassed.

He pretends to not hear me and jokes, “Sorry what was that? You need a face to sit on?”

“What!? No!” I shout taken aback. Recovering from his comment, I repeat louder, “I need a place to stay.”

He laughs, “Yep, heard you the first time.”

I include, “Just until I can get my own place temporarily.”

Grabbing his whiskey glass to finish the last bit he says, “Fine! You can stay here until you get yourself sorted out.” Lucifer puts his glass down on the piano making his way to his bedroom.

I exclaim, “Thank you!”

“Yes, yes. I’m mainly doing it to keep an eye on you. Anyway, it’s been a long day.” He says turning to me on the steps and points to another alcove on the same side of his room. “Guest room is down the hall and to the left, further down to the right is the washroom.” He informs me. Before I can comment, he says quickly, “Good? Okay, night.” He retreated into the room afterwards leaving me alone in the main room.

Not knowing what else to do and feeling awkward alone in Lucifer's penthouse, I head down the hall he mentioned. ‘This area was never shown in the show, I’m kind of curious with how it looks.’ I wonder with a hint of excitement. Reaching the door, I open it and surprisingly it’s like Lucifer’s room. The only difference is it’s smaller, the bed sheets are white, no stone carved walls, and it doesn’t have Lucifer’s things. I immediately make haste towards the bed and flop down on my back.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully let this sink in.” I whisper, “I just made a deal with Lucifer Morningstar in…no…clothes.” Hopping out of the bed hoping I can get my clothes before he falls asleep, I hurry to the door and open it, but crash into something. I move back to discover it’s a torso, specifically Lucifer’s.

“You left your clothes in my room.” He smirks amused and adds, “Second time I’m saying that to someone who I haven’t slept with first.”

I snatch the clothes from his hand embarrassed and stutter out, “Thanks.”

Right before I shut the door, he stops me and says, “One more thing.”

“What?” I ask tiredly.

“Why did you call me Tom?” he inquires with curiosity.

“What?” I ask again, but more awake now.

Lucifer explains, “Right before you fainted, you looked at me and said “Tom?””

I reply fast, “I don’t know.” I attempt to close the door again and he stops me a second time.

With a stern expression he says, “You do know. Why?” I think, ‘Oh no…I can’t tell him. Unless…’

I respond, “I thought you were someone else that I know.”

Lucifer examines my face for a second then smirks, “Well, he must be quite handsome.” I sigh finally closing the door in his face and through the door hear him chuckle, “Have a good night, Ms. Perkins!”

Dragging my feet to the bed, I fall face first this time. That wasn’t the best decision because my arms scream out in pain and I immediately turn over. Lifting my arms to fully examine them, I sigh clearly exhausted physically and emotionally. ‘I’ll figure more things out tomorrow like where I’m at in terms of the show and if it does play out like the show, what I should or shouldn’t do. I dealt with enough right now.’ I decide for myself and also think, ‘At least I know how to get around revealing too much to Lucifer. Don’t lie, but be vague with my answers. Hopefully I can keep up the act and nothing bad happened. I just don't know if I can handle him.’ After that, I drift off to sleep with one more thought, ‘But seriously...Lucifer Morningstar is actually real.’

Thanks for reading! I don't know how long this story will be, but look forward to more of it! I hope you're enjoying it so far!

[primalinfinity]

HUGE HUGE RWBY SPOILERS BELOW. And this is a LONG one.

Okay, watching the finale was an EVENT. The last few episodes have been the sort where I’ve paused a few times to do a lap of my apartment. This one I sat frozen in place the entire time.

It’s...strange. I got huge satisfaction from the things I got right, but it’s hollow in a way because not all of them are good.

So yeah, thoughts on the finale:

- I’m actually really satisfied that Penny got the powers of the Maiden, it pretty much closes off her Pinnochio story arc because she is now a fully realised ‘real girl’.

- Watching Cinder fail feels sooooo good. But god damn she had the best lines this episode in her opening encounter with Penny and Winter, her lines about power. Even the delivery stole the episode for me. Seeing Cinder crack is satisfying because we’re seeing more of her personality again instead of just “Bwahaha I’m the villain” which it feels like she’s been since she recruited Neo. We finally saw some of HER again. God I’m happy to see her fail. Her just snatching up the Winter powers as well would have made me roll my eyes.

- I’m pretty disappointed the fight between Robin, Qrow and Tyrian never happened. We saw it in the intro and CRWBY are normally pretty good about that sort of thing. I guess they did it just to surprise us with Clover’s death but...boo. Disappointment for that.

- Still processing Ironwood’s descent into madness and paranoia. I get that he’s fully cracked, but shooting Oscar/Ozpin? Bruh, that seems a bit much even for how far he’s fallen. He goes from simply arresting team RWBY, to attempting to kill a kid, in a single episode? Gehhh not sure how to feel about it.

- I thought the fight between RWBY and the Ace Ops last episode would be my favourite fight of the volume, but god damn did Cinder vs Winter & Penny steal that podium. It was great to see Winter show her true power, since we only got a glimpse of it back in volume 3 against Qrow when she wasn’t even going full strength. After all this time of hearing how good she is over and over, it was great to finally see it. I’m glad she survived, but now Weiss has no-one left in her family on her side except PERHAPS her mother, for all the good that will do.

- WHY DIDN’T IRONWOOD KILL WATTS. Two episodes. Two episodes it took from him APPARENTLY sparing Watts, to shooting a kid. DUDE. What the HELL. Honestly the more I think about it, the more I twitch about Ironwood’s descent.

- We got maybe 2 minutes of interaction with the previous Winter Maiden before she died, and it took less than that for me to fall in love with her to a degree that her passing hurt my heart. And that’s twice now Cinder has seen what a TRUE Maiden can do, and fallen hilariously short in front of it.

- Neo continues to be utterly unstoppable and the least beaten character on the show except for Raven, I desperately want to know her backstory and how she got so STRONG. We know nothing about her except her attachment to Roman and being part of his crime gang, and yet she can go toe-to-toe with not just Cinder, but the entirety of JNOR too.

- So, Ozpin returns! I was completely convinced that we were going to see Oscar’s semblance, and that he’d be able to fly to stop himself from falling to his death, but seeing him use magic was amazing. What was the glow with the staff’s mechanics activating? We know Ozpin’s magic is green, as is Oscar’s aura, so what was the gold glow? And I really like how one of the first things Ozpin was going to say, was to apologise. And he sounded so sincere, but I’m also glad Oscar cut him off. Oscar has grown a lot since Ozpin vanished and he clearly sees himself as Ozpin’s equal now. Which is really good. I’ve grown fond of Oscar and I can’t wait to see what his dynamic with Ozpin is now.

- Also a note on Ozpin’s return; he didn’t take over Oscar while they were falling as he returned. We saw the eyes flash so clearly he was really present, but he DIDN’T TAKE OVER. He simply clearly told Oscar what could be done, and guided him. He let Oscar do it, with simple guidance. Going back to when we saw Ozpin’s backstory from the Lamp, there’s a line about how he ‘learned to live WITH the people he was bound to’ Which implies he learned to let them live their own lives and make their own choices, but with trust they’ll also do their responsibilities. And he finally did that here with Oscar, trusting him. Ozpin has decided to trust Oscar and respect him. He’s clearly been watching.

- Ren isn’t having a good time, ever since his kiss with Nora. He hesitated in regards to their feelings for each other for so long because he feared complications and he feared they’d be distracted and overall weakened because of it. But ever since she finally kissed him and he kissed her back, he’s been proven right again and again. And the final time this episode, hesitated to stop Neo when she used Nora’s appearance, Neo got away with the Lamp. His rage about that was believable, but he didn’t need to lash out directly at Nora. I understand he fears weakness, because of his childhood trauma, but he’s spoken to Jaun in the past in front of the Pyrrha statue about teamwork and now he doesn’t trust his team to be able to do the job. It’s frustrating. But I also understand it.

- The fight with Neo felt ‘off’ with me, and I don’t know why. There was something unbalanced about it from the start and I truly don’t know why I feel the way I do about it. Something about it was just off-kilter and ‘wrong’ with it. It’s a strange feeling that I’ll think over when I rewatch the fight a few times.

- I hate that Tyrian is still alive. The D&D DM in me hates it because he’s a villain that’s done enough. He’s taken enough away from the heroes, done everything he was meant to do. He was a big impacting force this volume. Ever since he was truly introduced in his fight with Qrow and team RWBY this volume is what it was building up to. He scared the audience and the characters, wreaked havoc, and took enough away from the protagonists again and again that if he had died this volume it would have been a release of tension.

His escape and survival isn’t a cliffhanger, it’s a sour ending. Robin & Qrow killing him in the streets of Mantle, as we see their fight in the intro, a fight which never happened, would have been a perfect symbollic ending to his arc as a villain. Symbolic for dying in Mantle where he ruined Robin’s life (in a way), and dying at Qrow’s hands after everything he’s done.

He should have died this episode.

- On the note of villains surviving, there IS a part of me relieved that Watts isn’t dead. In contrast to Tyrian, Watts HASN’T done enough as a villain. Sure, he was a major player this volume, more major than Tyrian, but we don’t know him. Tyrian radiates his personality, we got a grasp of who he was early, but we still don’t KNOW Watts. Will Salem let him live? Will we see more of him? All questions I want answered. I’m curious what they’ll do with him now after this staggering ‘failure’ of his.

His strength is technology. Specifically the technology of Atlas. But the next destination after Atlas is Vacuo, said to be the most run down of the cities (probably because of the relic of Destruction). What could he possibly do to them there?

- Ruby’s silver eyes flashing at the end when she saw Cinder did NOTHING to her. Cinder seemed fine later when she was raging in the sky. So. Uhh. Alright then. That happened.

- So far we’ve met the Cowardly Lion, and the Tinman. And both have failed and given in to their weaknesses. We’re yet to meet the Scarecrow, who’s almost certainly the Headmaster of Shade. The Scarecrow lacks a brain. Are we about to encounter an idiot, after the Atlas story is resolved next volume? Fun fun fun.

+=+=+=+

All in all, this volume satisfied me a great deal. It had a lot of spectacular moments. There are a few that left sour tastes, as mentioned above, but overall I was really impressed.

Some of my favourite fights in the show, although the original fight between Tyrian and Qrow still owns that title overall, and a lot of fantastic character moments. And some of the best dialogue so far said in the show.

I loved it from start to finish, with only those few moments disappointing me.

Can’t wait for Volume 8

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 6

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 151: Great hour or so last night around Foggy’s. When I got home I watched World War Z and some stand up by Nate Bargatze and drank and smoked loads. Today, I got up just before 2pm and felt soooo unmotivated. I was going to have a day of doing fuck all but had a change of heart around 7pm so did my stair climb then walked for over an hour (7km) and got home at 9:30pm!

Day 152: Typing on day 153. I popped up and saw Foggy last night. One of the reasons was I wanted to take him a beer to say thanks for looking over my mitigation statement for my impending court hearing for speeding. He liked what i wrote but has given me some key amendments. Basically free solictor advice and I am very grateful. While there he hit me with the news that Ham’s sister, Preeya, has died (last Friday 14th August) from Covid 19. To say i was gobsmacked is an understatement. She was 49. The family could only talk to her over a loud speaker and had to say good bye that way as her life support was swithced off. Fucking hell, it’s terrible. And, what makes it worse, is how complacent I have become about the disease while it’s causing so much tragedy. As I said to Foggy, it’s important to renew our efforts in combatting this disease so that Preeya’s death at least means we learn. I also feel guilty for not realising that many people have passed like this - just because I (sort of) knew Preeya doesn’t mean I shouldn’t feel any less sorry for the dozens of people dying and many more affected everyday. My emotions are in turmoil and yet I’m not directly affected.

Day 153: Typing this on day 154. Gone midday before I woke up. Beers in the evening and watched Den of Thieves. Great film.

Day 154: Woke up at 2:37 pm FFS. Just done a walk and I feel like shit (booze induced).

Day 155: Went to bed at about 4am yesterday but was up at 10am today so, usual Monday correction of sleep patterns. Two long walks today plus a little housekeeping on photos, sharing to the Oundle chatter group, so, quite constructive. Hoir chat with dad plus a chat with a recruitment agemt about a helpdesk manager role in Peterborough.

Day 156: Typing on Day 157. I saw Karen sitting with TTP (and two others I couldn’t make out) at the T&K on my second walk. Why does that piss me off so much? I am being like Jack in Midnight Run. I need to let go.

I am also getting wound up with Tumblr - I can only make entries on this diary blog on the PC - when I try on the Android or Apple apps, they pop up with ‘post too long’. Trying getting info from Tumblr’s online help on that though - fucking not happening. I think I might move this to a Google Blog...it’s not like anyone else reads it. I’m not sure I’d want that - it’s far more a private diary now rather than the cute ‘blog’ idea it started out as. It is now a disciplinary exercise more than anything.

Day 158: Feeling less sorry for myself now. It’s 10pm and I am having a midweek beer as I wait for tea to cook.

Day 159: Decided I will split this diary into 30 day sections to appease Tumblr. My second walk today was at 8pm ‘cos it was pissing down from about 4pm ‘til 7:30pm...very dark and so wet. Home by 9.15pm.

Day 160: I went shopping in Corby (Tesco and Asda) - I only really went so I could get blue eggs. £75 on booze! I was going up to Fog’s tonight but at around 6pm it started to piss down. So, I shall drink at home. It’s 9.15pm, I think it’s going to get messy.

Day 161: Not sure when I wnet to bed last night but I didn’t get up until 2pm. Nice long walk (9km) in the rain!

Banners and Sam G went to London to have a few with Andy P. I’m a little flabbergasted, it’s like there’s no Covid19 all a sudden.

Day 162: Bank holiday Sunday so I am having a beer or two. Tea’s cooking, gonna watch The Accountant on BBC1 at 10.30pm. Today I got up at 1.55pm and managed to have a shower and be downstairs to see the start of the Belgian GP. Hamilton won, pretty easily. I then did my stair climb and a 9.8km (6 mile) walk.

Last night I watched a rather quirky, entertaining comic horror film called Ready or Not and then Ricky Gervais - Fame. That’s the tour I saw him live after seeing Henman’s final tennis match at the Davis Cup at Wimbledon. Bloody funny - the recording could even be the show Karen and I were at. Bed at around 5am, hence not egtting up ‘til way past midday!

Day 163: Bank Holiday Monday, just like a Sunday. I am making this entry on my phone as I'm now able to due to breaking up the diary blog into 30 day sections.

Molly's Game, a film I've tried to rewatch several times but it's never been free, is on BBC2 tonight. I'm recording it right now but actually watching Seinfeld from the start on All4. The first couple of episodes are a bit ropey if truth be told. Luckily, I know it improves.

Day 164: Managed to get hold of Michelle via her daughter Daisy to place a nice big order for C. Just as well ‘cos Tim’s ignoring me!

Rang and spoke with Barry Haddon today to check he’s OK.

Day 165: Picked up C from Michelle’s in Yarwell. While there I was mauled by her over friendly Staffordshirebull terrier getting bit on the thigh. Twice in six months I’ve been bitten by dogs.

Karen WhatsApp’d to see if I’d seen Miley Cyrus on the Live Lounge!

Day 166: Forgot to say that yesterday, I also bumped into and chatted with Pete Gilder. We mainly talked about (getting caught) speeding.

Today I did over 22k steps and I am fucked. 

I replied to an email from Shirley at work HR. After the furloughed staff call on Thursday, which I didn’t attend, they want us to cash in some (more) hoilday, which is fine by me, but I have also asked if we are any clearer as to what happens on 1st October, when the rentention scheme ends. I await her reply.

Day 167: Another 20k stpes today. Just 24k needed to have completed 1m steps since the start of July.

It’s Friday, about 9.45pm. I’m going to watch Molly’s Game and have a few beers.

Day 168: Got up at just before 2pm. It’s now 10.15pm and I am just having my first beer, Today was a lazyish day, completed 12k steps.

Day 169: Completed the 1m steps with 24 days to spare. Woohoo. Now, I am unsure whether to reduce the walking I have got so used to doing? I think I might keep up an average of 11k steps a day which is all I would have needed to accomplish to reack 1m in 3 months.

I’m pleased I did it today since I :went to bed a nearly 5am this morning!

Day 170: Actually typing this on day 171. Feels weird having done the 1m steps, almost like I’ve nothing to do. However, I am of course going to keep walking but not quite as hard/much. I did feel liek I was walking myself into the ground all in the name of finishiong the task ASAP. So, today I only had one walk, did 11,5k.

Yesterday’s Italian GP was a cracker. Hamilton had a penalty and ikt ended up with Gasly winning. Full of incident including a red flag so the race ‘restarted’.

I completely forgot ot make this entry on the correct day?

Day 171: I have decided to press on with the walking - not quite so urgently as before - to see what I can achieve steps-wise in 3 months. So, today, an unusually hot day for September, I did 18k steps plus cleaned the bathroom, hoovered my room and stairs and hallway. I am fucked!

Today I have bought a set of smart scales and a new pair of Skechers. The Skechers were almost free (£69 reduced to £30ish which I had in Paypal) and the scales were £20. Still, I shouldn’t. I don’t know what will happen at the end of October when the CJRS ends plus I don’t know what punsihment will be dished out, any day now, for the speeding offence! Fuck it!

Day 172: An eventful day. Boris has restricted gatherings to no more than 6 people and will use ‘Covid Marshalls’ to police this. It’s causing a stir amongst the online community. I have set up accounts with Gurushots and Picfair to showcase my snaps. The latter offers the opportunity to sell them. I watched Anchorman 2. It was pretty good. I also postd on the Oundle chatter group about walking in front of a car the other day - the driver, a yound lady, was enchanting the way she just smiled and let me pass - I used it as an opportunity to ask about George Higgins saving a child from near death at the hands of a lorry, the post about which has disappeared.

Day 173: Lots have seen my post re: my car incident but the bait hasn’t been taken.

Sarah Haines made a nice comment about my photo posts on the Oundle Chatter group also saying that she doesn’t know me but, it turns out she does. She is James Watson’s ex from when I first moved to Oundle so we caught up on Messenger.

Rachel Harris posted a meme slating Boris about the fact we were all encouraged to go out and about (inclding the Eat Out to Help Out scheme) and now we are being sent back to ‘our room’. Some of the comments continue to slate the government. I couldn’t resist commenting that, had the royal ‘we’ maintined social distancing and remembered there’s a fucking pandemic, perhaps we might not be under impending severe lockdown, as it now looks like. I also mentioned photos I have seen (one posted by Rach herslf) whereby you could be mistaken for thinking that there isn’t a pandemic. I have finished the comment with a line about we can only blame ourselves, not the hapless government! I wonder what reaction that will get!

Day 174: Scales were delivered today. If they are accurate I am a little over 11 stones, from 12st 7lbs before lockdown. Can’t quite believe it. I have a yearly diabetic review with Lynne in October so i can check then. If the scales are wrong, I’ll be livid on 2 scores!

Friday night beers as I type. Been looking forward to them since last Saturday!

Day 175: I do not trust the new scales. I get a different reading each time I step on them and by 10-12 lbs. Fucking things. Boots arrived today - they’re going back as well. Footy season started today. Posh lost away to Acrrington Stanley. “Who are they?”

Day 176: The GP was reflagged again today (a new track at Tuscany. A red flag two races on the trot is most unusual. Hamilton won.

Day 177: I managed to get the scales working. I’m pretty much the same weight I was prior to ld (about 12.5 st). This leads me to believe that if I wasn’t doing all the walking I am, I would be as fat as a fucking house. On that note, Google Fit is playing up. It loses the step and heart point count for each walk (although the workouts retain the route map info) Wtf?

I think K and TTP might be a thing from a post I saw on FB whereby some chap (who I don’t know) commented on TTP’s post that it was nice to see him and K. Kinda gutted if it is true but I shouldn’t be. That’s all I will say on here.

Day 178: Jim contacted me today to let me know he’s leaving RCI. He was quite secretive about why and what’s going on but, there it is. He went on to say that HR will be contacting me shortly to call me back from furlough. Sueanne is taking over as team leader but that’s temporary. and that they will most likely promote from within. I struggling to think what it would be like if Mark was boss! The way RCI are and how disjointed it is with Jim as boss, I shan’t take it as read until HR do contact me. Also, I dunno how I feel about it...I have got so used to not working. But, and it’s a big but, I doubt I’ll have a job after the retention scheme finishes so, if this does pan out, it’s good. I’ll be back to job hunting while in a job, as per before the pandemic.

Also, I received an email letting me know the punishment for my speeding offence was 6 points and a £233 fine, plus costs (£90) and victim support (£34), £357 in total. More than I expected. But, no ban, so I’ll suck it up. 

Day 179: Having midweek beers. I'm in that sort of mood.

Day 180: I WhatsApp’d Jim to let him know HR haven’t contacted me. His garbled response went from telling to give them a shout and let them know he is leaving, to which I asked ‘don’t they know?’, he then said hold fire (on Sueanne’s instruction) and she has said for me to sit tight and then, finally, that HR will contact me! Fuck knows what’s going on! I had a diabetic review with Lynne today. When you go to the surgery you have to let in, which I was by Keren. It was nice to see and chat with her. She is back with Ronnie which was news to me. Then Lynne came and got me. It was nice to see and chat with her also. She weighed me and I’m 12st 3lb. Apparently in Jan last year I was over 13st!

[anansislibrary]

All of my thoughts on RWBY: taken from one of my videos here

If you haven’t watched RWBY yet... I honestly don’t know what to tell you. The show is genuinely one of my favorite anime of all time. It’s got an amazing cast of interesting characters, great writing, an amazing world to get immersed in. Every character you meet sticks with you, many of the fights are fast paced and memorable, and being a lore buff like me pays off in this world.

But RWBY isn’t... perfect, and having finished the newest season and rewatched the show from the beginning... I have some issues.

Don’t get me wrong, the new season had some excellent parts. The fight between Blake and Adam was literally perfect, and side note, idk why fans are saying Adam got nerfed for this fight or made weaker, when some of his only notable feats happen during this fight. The man lands hits like mortal kombat combos.

Anyway, I don’t want to just crap on the show so before I go into what I didn’t like, I’ll get into what I did. But before then, I’ll have to give you a brief rundown of the show. But before THEN I gotta give my obligatory plug

So make sure you like and subscribe if you enjoy this video and want to see more like it, and consider donating to my Ko-fi if you’re able to to help support my channel and help me make better content.

Without further ado

Here’s RWBY

Quick basic spoiler full rundown of the show.

Rwby takes place in a world callled remnant, with a shattered moon. Why is the moon shattered you ask? Satan threw a temper tantrum

Anyway

There’s monsters

Schools for people to fight monsters

Except no Because the main character’s school gets blown up by this BITCH NAMED CINDER, SCREW YOU CINDER.

Prompting Ruby and her Gucci gang to go on an adventure.

Got it? Good.

So here’s everything I love about the series.

I really like the character designs. Every single character has an excellent design and I could really do a video on how character design helps develop character and tell a story just using this show. Every person in the show has an interesting and cool design that helps you to remember and understand them.

An easy example is Weiss. She dresses like an actual princess, her color scheme and weapons are all very elegant looking and it hints at her high class status without even having to spell it out for you.

Plus I love how characters names are based off of fairy tales or mythology. For example, Sun, Sage, and the ironically named Neptune. The motif of fairy tales is fun too, for example Ruby being Little Red Riding hood, Ozpin and Glenda Goodwich being wizard of oz references, ironwood being the tin man and Leo being the lion, Qrow and scarecrows and all of that. Weiss and Winter both have names very directly based on snow.

Every name in this show was very clearly thought out, and even abilities too.

Sun can make clones of himself just like in the myth, Blake has issues with running from her problems, so she can make clones, yang has anger issues and can go super saiyan, almost everyone’s power has something to do with their personality.

Salem is such a fun villain. I wish she could do more because she’s really sinister and scary. She’s such a fun villain to watch but she doesn’t do shit.

I also love the fight scenes, I love how bombastic and fast paced they are, and it’s really cool how every character has their own unique style of movement and fighting that vary between them. The fights in this show are quick and stick in your mind, and there’s an emphasis put often on how much a character can move in a short amount of time.

Cinder as much as I hate her is also a great villain, and that’s why I hate her.

Roman Torchwick is also a GREAT villain and The way he dies is satisfying as hell, and seeing Neo again made me scream.

The worldbuilding is my favorite aspect of the show. Now I’m weird and I like info dumps and that’s why I enjoy those World Of Remnant videos that expand on the worldbuilding so as not to bog down story with info dumps. The world is really fun to learn about, how humanity has evolved in terms of technology is fun to speculate on, for example since Grimm attacks are common and destructive, towns outside of major cities are less technologically advance because they often don’t have time to explore that and have to move from town to town quickly in an emergency.

The Grimm are excellent monsters with varying abilities that make them scary. I love the Apathy from the most recent season, and how it doesn’t just attack you like a Beowulf, Ursa, or Nevermore, but it drains away your will to fight back at all.

This show also has my favorite trope of all time MIXED TIMELINES

YOU GOT TRADITIONAL CHINESE CLOTHING AND DRESS AND ASIAN ARCHITECTURE ON TOP OF CELL PHONES TOWERS AND ALL OF THAT

this trope is so fun because it really makes a world feel unique.

The world of Naruto has all kinds of modern stuff, but until Boruto it was mixed with older tech and tradition, really selling how this is not our world.

Another thing I love: every weapon is a gun. That is SO fun.

Now as good as the show is, it does have problems. That’s inevitable though, all shows, movies, and books have problems, nothing is perfect.

Except Avatar. Avatar is flawless.

Me pointing out the issues I have with this show is by no means to say it’s bad, just to point them out.

I truly do have love for this series and I still cry about Phyrra and her death.

I love you baby.

But that being said, pointing out the issues a show has can be important for both understanding the pitfalls to avoid in our own writing, and helping creators fix issues later on.

A lot of hard work goes into making this show and I would just be an asshole if I did nothing but shit on the show.

No matter how many issues it has, I can tell the people making it love what they’re doing, and that always shines through a series no matter how many issues it has, just like a show or movie can do everything conventionally right and still be a soulless shit show.

Looking at you call of duty black ops 3.

So here’s the issues

Fight scenes

I love the fight scenes. I’ve said that, they really can be so fun to view and I find myself coming back to them a lot.

But I have issues.

Lemme just say first that I don’t like complaining against animation. Animators go through enough crap already and it feels mean to criticize them at times, but this needs to be said.

One, I hate how people throw punches in this show.

They swing so wide it’s annoying.

Okay listen. If you swing at someone with a punch this wide, and they know how to fight, it will not land. They will block or dodge. I know this because as my subscribers know, I am a martial artist. I know jujitsu and boxing, and I took taeqwondo.

This is a bad punch.

My theory is that they do it to emphasize the impact of a bit, but that’s not necessary. There are other ways to do that.

You could say “they’re animators they don’t know how fighting works.”

But Naruto exists and those animators get martial arts stuff down PAT.

Hell, avatar the last airbender depends on its animators being able to animate fights with consistent accuracy, and those characters use styles most people have never heard of like Baguazhang.

And I know this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it is. It’s hard to really get behind fight scenes at times when the characters can’t throw a simple punch right.

And again it’s not like it’s impossible for animation to animate a fight.

There’s a scene during a fight in Naruto where Obito Uchiha kicks Kakashi, and Kakashi uses his foot to redirect the kick and pull obito off balance.

This is a real move, that people do, and it’s done accurately, but RWBY seems to struggle with accuracy in their fights. Which is fine when a character’s weapon looks like this, but not in hand to hand.

This issue comes up in sword fights too. The way Weiss fights annoys me because her sword is a rapier, and the most important characteristic of a rapier is that often times they don’t have blades, they have points, and when they do have blades, they aren’t meant for slashing. Rapiers were made to exploit the gaps in someone’s armor by stabbing them, and thus it is a thrusting sword, not a slashing one. A sword like a Katana or Khopesh would be good for slashing. Roman gladius can kind of do both, but not as good as either one.

The point is that if they’re gonna give Wiess a rapier, they need to stop animating her slashing with it. Especially when her rapier doesn’t appear to have a sharp edge.

My next complaint is wasted characters.

It’s very frustrating when RWBY takes times to show us a character, but then never uses them.

I didn’t even know sun had a full team sometimes because you never see them.

And furthermore it’s annoying when a fight scene will just stop so that a character can do a cool thing.

Oh no this robot is so hard to beat, how will we beat this dangerous and powerful robot

Oh wait, this character can solo it because the plot needs to pause so she can be cool then promptly never be seen again.

It is so frustrating and it makes it hard to actually know when a character is in danger.

It takes 20 hits to kill a Grimm in one scene, then like two in another.

And the reason for that is because the plot is being pushed aside for the sake of spectacle.

A character’s abilities will be made inconsistent for a chance to make them seem cool.

Like this scene where Tyrion is fighting qrow, he uses his tail to block bullets.

But why?

He has his Aura up, the bullets wouldn’t hurt him anyway! Then when he gets shot later after he looses his aura his tail comes off.

If he was fast enough to use his tail to block bullets he wasn’t even paying attention to, why can’t he do it now!

There is no internal consistency.

Like why are Grimm so strong if they don’t have auras? That’s not explained because they Grimm rarely serve the plot, they spectacle. Adam putting 20 kombo hits into yang to beat her makes sense. He has to wear down her aura to actually hurt her.

But 20 hits to kill a grim that then gets solo’d by a character later on?

No.

Then there’s hazel.

He annoys me.

His villainous motivation is that his sister joined a school for trained soldiers, then died because it was dangerous and now he hates Ozpin.

Dude what?

Like I get why he’s mad, but she knew the risk and someone had to sign off on her getting in for her to be able to go to beacon at all. A child can’t just register for a school especially one where it’s a known risk you could die.

Also another thing I hate is how characters will overreact to stuff in annoying ways.

This is mostly in the most recent season.

Spoiler alert here

But everyone finds out the history of Ozpin and Salem’s relationship from Djinn

And then they just all hate and distrust Ozpin.

Here’s my reaction to finding out about ozpins relationship

It’s just... not that big a deal.

Okay so he was pipping the villain at one point

Nigga so was dumbldore!

It’s just annoying how Ozpin didn’t really do anything but he still was treated like he was just a bad person when he wasn’t.

That whole plot point feels empty, and I found myself more annoyed with the characters for being mad at him and wasting time, than mad at Ozpin for wanting to get laid.

My next complaint on this nitpick fest is

Shit what was I gonna say again?

Oh yea, that annoying ass military lady and her whole reason for not letting the heroes into atlas.

That was so annoying and pointless. She really had no reason not to let them through, and her getting into a giant mecha to fight them pulled me so far away from the story because it was just too ridiculous.

The mecha is for fighting Kaiju grim but it’s taken down by like five kids and their drunk grandpa.

Which like... fine but I hate it.

I hate that whole sequence.

It didn’t have to happen like that, it was another fight purely for spectacle.

It made me mad.

Plus I really really hate mecha anime and mecha fights in general.

God I hate them.

I skipped almost every mecha fight in Voltron because I hate them.

Look the point is that rwby is definitely a good show and I love almost every part of it, but these issues really pull me away from the story at times and you can really sense how much of the story is less about progression and more about increasing drama like the Ozpin thing, or looking cool.

Please watch rwby it really is worth your time, just be aware of the issues it has.

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: 4x10 Die All, Die Merrily

I solemnly swear to myself that I’ll start writing short rewatch posts starting with the next episode, because I would like to finish this rewatch before the end of season 6. This will have to be the last long one...

This entire episode is basically JRoth and The 100 trying to do a Hunger Games episode, only without the essence of The Hunger Games series – where this violent death match between (usually) 12 participants was portrayed as a terrible thing, an example of the cruelty, privilege and voyeurism of the ruling classes and the oppressiveness of the system, while here, in The 100, it’s just a Grounder tradition that the show doesn’t seem to pass any judgment on and that’s just a way to have some cool sword fighting action on screen.

But a lot of people really love this episode. It’s probably the most overrated episode of the show. Now, don’t get me wrong, it is a very good episode. What is does – the fights are well staged, unlike the one in 3x04, and the action, the drama, even some the emotional moments, it all works very well. That’s why I gave it a pretty high rating. It would be in my top 30. Maybe not my top 25? But I’ve seen so many people, including media articles, call it one of the best episodes of the show, put it in top 10 or even top 5 best episodes…and that’s just odd. Come on, it’s not top 10 material. It’s not in my top 5 episodes of season 4 (let alone the entire show). But I guess people really love sword fighting?

In retrospect, the main purpose of this episode was to set up Octavia as the Osleya – Red Queen/Blodreina, making her the winner of this version of Grounder Conclave, and the ruler of the bunker. Now, pretty much every viewer could have guessed she would win, because she’s one of the main characters and has a massive Plot Armor, but in-universe, Octavia was the dark horse, the least likely to win out of the 13 participants. She’s been training in Grounder fighting for some 6 months, but that’s nothing compared to all the others, who had been training and fighting all their lives. The show hasn’t often been too realistic about her fighting skills, but this time, to be fair, her victory is made to look a little bit more realistic because her tactic is to do what she is uniquely qualified to do – hide, let the others kill each other, and wait for the moment when she can kill the last living opponent.

This is Octavia’s most triumphant moment, when she wins, and then when she decides to not keep the bunker just for Sky people (who would have filled just 400 out of 1200 places) but to share the bunker between all the clans. * And with that, Octavia becomes the Queen and Savior in the eyes of the Grounders and unite all the clans, living the dream that Lexa tried but failed to make happen.

* …Oh wait, wasn’t that the exact same thing Clarke suggested to Indra, Roan and the other Grounder leaders in the previous episode, and they all ignored her, because they preferred war over the bunker, and then to fight the Conclave, and flat out told her that they wouldn’t listen to her because she’s not a Commander? If you want Grounders to listen to you, you must either kill a dozen other people in the Hunger Games-like sworf fight, and/or have “special blood” from birth and then have a chip with dead people’s voices put in your head. You may have good ideas, Clarke, but it means nothing if you can’t fight with a sword.

From the point of view of the characters in-universe, they gained absolutely nothing with this Conclave that they wouldn’t have had if they had accepted Clarke’s suggestion – except 12 of them would be still alive. Roan, who suggested the Conclave, only managed to get himself killed. But in terms of the narrative purpose, this is the show raising Octavia high, making her the hero/savior/queen, just to make her a tyrant and a villain in season 5. It’s also why some other characters needed to die so Octavia’s dark story could happen – Roan, because having a strong and sly Grounder leader in the bunker would prevent the same power dynamic; Ilian, because his relationship with Octavia was starting to become (gasp!) healthy and healing, and we can’t have that. And then there’s Luna, who goes full grimdark, wiyh the worst “DEAATH TO EVERYONE! Humanity doesn’t deserve to survive!” nihilism, so she could be the main antagonist, and also push Clarke into her own desperate actions.

Luna’s character turn used to be one of my two main problems with this episode. I used to really like her, and this seemed like a completely OOC twist. But she is the character I’ve changed my mind the most on during my rewatch, and now I think this turn was foreshadowed and in character for her.

But my other big problem with this episode still stands. It de-protagonizes Clarke, and pushes her into a pseudo-antagonist role, by framing the episode as a battle where the audience roots for Octavia (and Bellamy) and spends all the time with them and other people involved in the Conclave, directly or indirectly, while not letting us see Clarke’s perspective and her decision-making for more than a few short moments early on, which are easy to forget when you’re watching the episode for the first time. Obviously, the goal was to make the twist ending more surprising. And because of that, I was really confused the first time I watched this, and didn’t understand how Clarke went from asking for everyone to share the bunker (and refusing to let Roan be assassinated, so only Arkers people and Trikru would share the bunker – which, apparently, even saintly Kane agreed to!), to stealing the bunker for the Arkers with Jaha. But on rewatch, Clarke’s motives and state of mind are so much clearer and more relatable to me throughout season 4 – and, to be fair, this episode does set up her reasons early on. It just distracts the viewers too much with the Conclave itself, which the viewers know Octavia is likely to win. But looking at the situation as the characters themselves see it, Clarke’s decision to steal the bunker makes sense – certainly a lot more sense than the Conclave itself, which is an incredibly stupid way to make decisions on the survival of the human race.

 I used to be one of the people who really liked Luna and thought she was this wonderful voice of morality and non-violence, and when she appeared with the whole “I fight for death!” thing, it seemed out of nowhere. But she’s the character I’ve changed my mind the most on rewatch. What was I thinking? I guess I was just tired at the time of all the people celebrating violence and ruthlessness. Rewatching seasons 3 and 4, I realized that 1) this turn was, actually, in-character, and that 2) even before that, her pacifism was of the wrong kind and her moralizing was always hollow. She was running away because she was scared of humanity’s, or rather, her own capacity for violence, but she was OK with letting the rest of the world fall apart, as long as she could stay in her little bubble and not get her hands dirty. Maybe that’s a bit harsh. I’m aware that she’s been through terrible things – Grounder traditions are awful, she had to kill her own brother, and then everyone she loved died and she remained the last of her people. But even before the latter happened, she was flat out refusing to take the Flame and save the world from ALIE. Which, fine, her choice, and having voices of dead people in your head is pretty messed up – but she didn’t care if the rest of the world was enslaved by ALIE, as long as she thought her people would stay safe on their oil rig. Then, in season 4, after all of them had died of radiation, she didn’t want to help save the entire human race from Praimfaya, and had to be convinced to do it. Instead, she was moralizing about how humans may not deserve to survive. If you don’t want to save people because they aren’t morally perfect enough for you, there’s something wrong with you and your own morality. Having that in mind, it’s not OOC that she ended up making the step from letting the human race die, to actively trying to kill everyone.

(BTW, does Nightblood give people superpowers – and I don’t mean the ability to survive radiation and have the Flame or mind drives in their heads, but things like superior strength, agility, speed…? In season 4, I was definitely under the impression that it does, since Roan made that remark in 4x08 about Nightbloods like Lexa and Luna being superior fighters. And that would explain why Luna is supposed to be the most dangerous warrior of them all, which otherwise wouldn’t make a lot of sense, since she hasn’t done almost any real fighting for about a decade (I don’t know if she trained, I guess she should have just done it for sports), but she’s better than all of those other people, many of whom are physically much stronger than her if Nightblood doesn’t give you superstrength and who have been training and fighting all the time. You can’t even headcanon something like “she has the skills of all the previous Commanders in her head” as you can with Lexa.  But nothing we’ve seen with Clarke, Madi or the Primes suggests that about Nightblood, so I’m very confused now. To be fair, The 100 was never very realistic about fighting skills, especially not when it comes to the Girl with a Sword characters.)

In any case, for the purpose of the show, Luna is the clear favorite, and Octavia is the least likely to win. Clarke is well aware of it, though she pretends otherwise in order to give Octavia encouragement. Bellamy is also aware of it, but he has to put all the hopes in his sister, because he loves her so much and can’t accept the idea of her dying. He also gives Octavia the best advice - use her experience of hiding as “Girl under the floor”, hide and let the others mostly kill each other.

While Kane also decides to hope for the best, Jaha really isn’t happy about having the Conclave as a way to decide who survives, and thinks it’s stupid (of course, he’s right), but, unlike the others, also doesn’t believe the Grounders would honor the deal if Octavia won. However, Kane assures him they take the tradition as sacred. We can see Clarke listening carefully – and, no doubt, thinking that Luna is most likely to win, and if they really honor the outcome, that would mean everyone would die (except Luna, that is – who really would be the last person on Earth). Clarke then goes to find Roan and tell him they have to stop Luna (while Echo is listening), but Roan blames her for disrespecting their traditions etc. Clarke tells him that she wants the humanity to survive, even if it’s not her people. (Which shines more light on her motivation. As she points out in 4x11, excluding any of the Arkers from the bunker means that the Grounders wouldn’t have anyone to run hydro generators and produce artificial food etc. But she made her decision to steal the bunker only after Luna entered the picture, and the possibility of the human race all dying became very likely.) Roan doesn’t listen and tells her to leave before she “dishonors her people even more”. Huh. Interesting views on honor. This is a guy who has no problem ordering assassinations and wasn’t upset when his army was burning villages and killing people just for the sake of it, but he takes Grounder traditions very seriously, as seen later when he banished Echo for cheating at the Conclave. However, Clarke’s words seem to have gotten more than he was ready to admit, because, in the end, he came to his senses and offered Octavia an alliance against Luna, deciding that, after all, the most important thing is for the human race to survive.

There are hints of what would happen that I didn’t notice the first time: Close-up of Clarke in thoughts. Close-up of Echo, also deep in thoughts, and deciding to cheat at the Conclave. IMO, Echo’s actions in this episode are more defensible and understandable than anything else she’s done up to this point. Everything else she did was for Azgeda to get more power, or she used the “I was following orders” excuse, but this time, it really is a matter of survival, so I can’t even blame her for deciding to kill a bunch of people to ensure that Azgeda gets the bunker, in the sneaky way, rather than by the rules, as Roan is trying.

One of the strengths of this episode are all the emotional moments. There is a big one between Indra and Octavia, as Indra genuinely gives her advice to help her, which Octavia finds strange, since, if she won, it would mean her people wouldn’t get the bunker, but Indra tells her she’s her people, too. The meaning of the phrase “my people” means is something the characters are constantly defining for themselves. (Interesting that same phrase “You are my people” was said in season 2 by Clarke to Lincoln, at the time when he still wasn’t living in Arkadia.) Indra is Octavia’s surrogate mother in a way, and considers her family. Besides, I don’t think it’s that odd to wish her luck, since the odds of her directly facing the Trikru warrior aren’t high anyway.

Gaia and Indra get a rare mother/daughter moment, when Gaia cries in her mother’s arms after the Trikru warrior is one of the first to fall. As far as they know at that point, this means death for them and all other Trikru.

Octavia and Ilian later do their best to pretend they are Katniss and Peeta in the first Hunger Games, since he is saving her and offering her alliance against the others, while she is rejecting it because she’d then have to kill him. He claims he didn’t volunteer to be there because of her, but it could have been a combination of motives. His entire family is dead, he will also die, but in a much worse way, of radiation, in a few days, unless one of this people wins the Conclave, but I’m sure he also wants to give Octavia more chance to possibly win, and the odds of the two of them being the last are very slim.

Of course, this episode also has big emotional moments for the Blake sibling relationship, and brings them together after almost two seasons of conflict – or rather, of Octavia being angry at Bellamy. Which leaves me halfway between feeling its’s heartwarming. and feeling bitter that it’s still all about Octavia forgiving Bellamy, after beating him bloody at one point. It’s a two-episode storyline - at the beginning, Bellamy regrets he wasn’t able to tell his sister that he loves her, even at the end of the world. (He gets the chance to do that in the next episode.) When Bellamy realizes that Echo is cheating, he decides to go in there to stop her. (I like how the show made it look for a moment like Kane will be against it, but then it turns out he just tells Bellamy to wait till it’s dark, so he wouldn’t be discovered.)

After killing a few people including mortally wounding Ilian, Echo tries to kill Octavia, again, and Bellamy stops her, and in their fight, almost chokes her to death. Bellamy chokes or strangles people quite often. Four episodes later, these two will be an item. Sure, it’s 6 years in-universe, but for the viewers, very short time, and Bellamy and Echo will have just one one-to-one scene together before they become a couple. I guess trying to kill each other counts as setup for romance on The 100, it’s like an equivalent of at least six months of dating.

Roan stops him and then banishes Echo, and Octavia overhears Bellamy talk about his love for her – telling Roan that he was the “lucky one” to have her as a sister. Is feeling unconditional love lucky, even if that person treats you like crap most of the time? Anyway, Octavia is very moved. I guess she really did not realize before how much Bellamy loved her, which is almost unbelievable - if anything was always super-obvious, it was how much Bellamy loves his sister and how much he was willing to do for her.

There are a lot of mentions of Lincoln. Octavia’s final decision to share the bunker is obviously supposed to be something inspired by what Lincoln believed in - and Octavia and Luna even argue over who Lincoln would be ashamed of. Which is silly, because Luna must be aware she’s talking nonsense and that he wouldn’t approve of what she’s doing. But most of what she says in this episode is BS, as when she goes on about how Skaikru taught her that people are selfish and awful. (Really? The Mountain Men didn’t, the Grounders fighting each other all the time didn’t, making her kill her own brother and fight other children in the Conclave, nothing? But when Skaikru tried to find a way for everyone to survive Praimfaya, which ended with Clarke injecting herself with Nightblood and volunteering to risk her life and be tested? That convinced her that people are awful and selfish? OK then.) She only starts making sense when she finally admits it is all about herself – she clearly has been traumatized and afraid of her own capacity from violence and darkness since she killed her brother in the Conclave.

Twist! Bellamy is kidnapped. And then we get the twist ending OMG! Shock! They stole the bunker! “They used the gas to knock everyone out, as in Mount Weather". Dum dum dum – another comparison to Mountain Men OMG, they are as bad as the Mountain Men, because they can use gas and… they knocked those people out that stood in their way, instead of killing them all (as Azgeda and Trikru had a habit of doing this season)? Uuum...

Timeline: There are 3 days left until the death wave comes, and the conclave lasts  one day and one night.

Body count: All the people who die in this episode die in the Conclave: 12 Grounder warriors, chronologically:

Two warriors, including the Fio of Trikru (recurring character – he’s the guy who used to beat up Octavia in 2x11), killed by Roan;

two are killed by Echo’s arrows;

one warrior killed by Ilian, who was helping Octavia, another by some other warrior, one by Octavia (this was during one four-way fight);

two by Luna;

Ilian, mortally wounded by Echo and then Octavia mercy-killed him at his request (dramatic irony – she threatened earlier that she’ll kill him the next time she sees him);

Roan, killed by Luna, in a pretty horrifying manner, slicing his stomach and drowning him in a fountain of radioactive rain;

Luna, stabbed from behind by Octavia, after falling for a pretty cheap trick.

Rating: 8.5/10

Bonus:

Episodes 4x09-4x10 in a nutshell:

Grounders * fight a war for the bunker *

Clarke: The end of the world is coming! Instead of fighting, we could all share the bunker instead! There is place for more than just one clan!

Grounders: Meh. We don't care, we prefer war, and we would only listen to you if you were a Commander!

Clarke * is exasperated by everyone's stubborn and stupid behaviorand the probability of everyone dying * OK then, I'll make myself a Commander *

Roan: She became a Nightblood through science! Blasphemy!

Grounders: What an insult to our sacred traditions that were started 90 years ago by a bunch of nutty cultists and a scientist who made Nightblood through science so people could get computer chips in their heads! So, let's have war.

Roan: Let's have Hunger Games instead. The one tradition we love more than hereditary special blood that lets you get a computer chip in your head. A dozen people killing each other with swords is the best way to decide the fate of the human race!

* everyone agrees*

Luna: Hi. I'm the strongest fighter by far, and I want to fight so I can destroy the entire human race. DIE DIE DIE! DEATH TO EVERYONE!

Everyone: Well, that's fair. She will probably win and everyone will die. Reasonable. Let's hope that it doesn't happen.

Clarke * is really exasperated * Oh, hell no. I better make sure at least some people survive. * steals the bunker *

Octavia: * wins against all odds * We should all share the bunker!

Everyone: This is such a great idea, because someone who can fight with a sword said it! Hey, wait, what happened?

Clarke: .........

[keepseaveyweird]

A blurb where you are a popular-ish singer and you’re the opening act on the boys tour and Zach crushing on you and he finds out you wrote a song about him?

a/n: this was a very cute idea so thank you to whoever sent it in! Sorry it took so long!

It was the last day of tour, your last opening act for the boys. You had been thinking about it for a while, finding the guts to say it to his face, but it was never the right moment. There was never the right time to truly express how much you cared about the boy who left your dressing room a mess every time he came to hang with you before a show. Never the right opportunity to define how he made your heart swell with every joke, every laugh, every smile and word that he expressed in your direction.

So when the stage manager gave you the paper with the set list on it before the show you knew the universe was on your side.

The crowd was insane, full of energy and yelling and screams. Being the opening act meant not much singing along, only the front couple rows on their feet while everyone sat. But not this show, it was like the crowd knew. Knew of your intentions and knew what was going to happen next as you finished your second-to-last song and the lights went out momentarily.

You found your way to the piano, sitting on the bench and adjusting properly to get comfortable while also making an excuse to kill time as you still didn’t know exactly what you were going to say.

The crowd’s cheering calmed down, waiting for your closing words before playing your last song of the tour. You couldn’t help but stare out into the sea of girls who were waiting for your five friends to hop on stage, who were just as eager to see him as you were. In the moment you knew that no words would be able to describe how you felt. There was no perfect string of words to truly articulate the bubbly feeling you felt in your stomach when he hugged you or simply draped an arm over your shoulder. There was no definition for the smile that encompassed your face every time you ran off stage to see him there with open arms, ready to tell you how good he thought you did.

So instead of being choosy with your words, you chose to word vomit, much like he would have done.

“Thank you all so much for the love I’ve felt tonight. This tour has been amazing, the best experience of my life and I couldn’t thank you enough!” you told the crowd, earning a cheer.

“This is my last song, and before I end I’d really like to tell you guys a story. I wrote this song about a boy,” the crowd, ‘oo’d’ and as they did, you saw him waltz over to the side of the stage, a weird look on his face. With a sudden boost of confidence, you looked him directly in the eyes, across the entire stage, ignoring the eager fans.

“I wrote this about a boy who happened to be my first love. And I’m not really sure if he ever felt the same way... but I love him, still love him and will continue to love him. We met almost a year ago and instantly I knew he was special. He was charming and funny and kind and witty and always had something to say no matter what. And as time went on, as we became closer and got to know him better, I unknowingly grew this love for him. Because he’s generous and giving and funny and though people would tend to fight me on this, he’s actually very smart.” the crowd laughed, “and, god, his smile could move mountains.”

The crowd was then silent, as you assumed they were putting the pieces together. Because if they hadn’t before, they were now. From the amount of stories and instagram posts he was in of yours, and the amount of times you were in his, it was inevitable for people to be somewhat suspicious of you two. Always together, always side by side because if he wasn’t with Jack he was with you. The two of you, three of you at times, were a package deal.

By this time his face had softened, no longer with his jaw tightened and arms crossed. He seemed calm and happy, his arms hanging at his sides, with Daniel who was standing by his side smiling like an idiot. He knew, it didn’t take much for him to figure it out once he walked in on you rewatching the story you had posted one day with a loving smile on your face.

A small laugh left your mouth, because what you were doing was cheesy as hell, but you felt more comfortable on that stage, more confident. Just enough to get the words you needed to say out.

“And I’m not exactly sure what I’m saying, but I needed to get it off my chest, cause me and a friend have had this secret and as the tour is coming to an end, this might be my last shot for a while. This song is called you’re the one and I hope you like it,” you broke your eye contact with him, looking down to place your hands on the keys before starting.

Zach stood there side stage, a warm feeling in his chest as you began singing. It was slow, it was soft and it was heart wrenchingly beautiful. His mouth agape, he couldn’t process what had just happened. Because since the beginning of the tour, he had done everything in his power to get you to notice, to get you to understand without him having to say it to your face, thinking you never caught on to his intentions. 

With every note, every harmonic chord progression, every syncopation, your feelings became clearer and clearer; she feels the same way.

You couldn’t help but be emotional, couldn’t help the couple tears that rushed down your cheeks as you played. You were putting everything on the line and when you hit the big note at the end, the lights shutting off for the moment, you looked up to see Zach no where in sight.

The lights turned back on and music played behind you as you bowed, saying your goodbyes and thank you’s, making your way off stage. You rushed off to see a smirking Daniel while your cheeks were still flushed with tears.

“Dressing room,” he said pointing towards the corridor. You had time, had all the time in the world while Eben performed after you, but you ran, sprinted down the hallway and into the dressing room.

You found him sitting on your couch, feet propped up on the table while he was deep in thought. Slow and steadily, you found a spot next to him, looking down at your lap with a big gap between the two of you.

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way-” you began, but were cut off by a hand cupping your face and smiley Zach looking at you.

“Baby, you don’t know the half of how I feel about you,” he told you before crashing his lips to yours. And it was soft and full of life and you felt at home, at peace. Like all the colors of the sky, the sea and land had come together to form this moment as the two of you held each other close.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” Zach panted as he radiated with warmth, “I love you too y/n, for quite a while now actually.”