#my life is a shit show rn

[ezratheunready]

Oh the joy of family holidays! Getting misgendered, deadnamed, ridiculed, and reminded that they will never actually see you as your true self.

They will only see you as the version of yourself that wanted to die every second of every day because you felt like dying was the only way to be free of that pain and hurt over something that people told me made people disgusting and unloveable, being trans. The person you pretended to be that was killing you.

For all my fellow trans people that experiencing the same thing, I’m so deeply sorry. I love you, you mean the world to me for just existing against all odds. You deserve to be seen and accepted no matter what your family or society tells you.

Stay strong and remember that when you face all that hurt and struggle with your family, that there is a whole community that understands, sees you, and loves you, the REAL you. ❤️

[starheirxero]

After revisiting your "came back wrong" comic, absolutely wonderful btw, I came to a rather haunting realization.

Because it became true. But instead of Bloodmoon, it's Eclipse. And that's both much worse(for the characters), and much better(for the narrative).

Because both him and Lunar went through the same, and in a way seem to parallel each other, though that's probably me overthinking.

Both of them died. Both of them were blown to smithereens. Both of them came back after several months. Both found themselves in a body not their own. We've seen what they look like in every other universe.

Both of them came back wrong.

Lunar came back numb, quieter than before, with all their energy being a play. He came back running from unknown danger. They died a normal animatronic, and came back being more.

Eclipse is the opposite. He came back louder, erratic, full of madness. Where Lunar is running from unknown danger, he is sprinting towards it, not realizing the consequences until it's to late. Not to forget the star. Eclipse died being somewhat of a god, and came back as nothing more than a plaything, a puppet on a string.

In a twist of fate, they can relate best to each other now, and that might be the worst part for both of them.

Because what is there to do? Even though they understand, even though, one day, they might glance at each other and wonder "Do you feel the same?", they will never be able to confide in each other. Their relationship is beyond repair, and for good reason. Eclipse hurt Lunar, used and ab*sed him, and then blew him up.

This also opens up so much emotional baggage. What will Lunar think? Will he wonder "Do you regret what you did now, knowing how it felt?" Will a part of him feel the smallest bit of satisfaction? Will they ever be able to look at him at all, or will they forever hide away?

What about Eclipse? Will he feel guilty? He seems aware of the damage he has caused the celestial twins, even telling Ruin that he deserves what's coming for him, but he still showed no remorse when he talked to them.

I'm sorry this got so long, I am incredibly emotional about this right now, and I can't even begin to describe, how this makes me feel-

ANON OH MY GHOD /POS

DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THE BIGGEST FUCJING BRAIN EVER. DID YOU KNOW YOU'VE CONNECTED THE MOST PERFECT DOTS KNOWN TO MAN. HOLY SHIT.

LUNAR CAME BACK AS MORE AND ECLIPSE CAME BACK AS LESS BUT BOTH CAME BACK WRONG AAIAUAUAYAGAGGGHHHHHH

[braisedhoney]

so you’re asking for some prompt ideas :) that’s great ! i love your small dark comic and hope to do more (i love the lore) but i was wondering if you could the captain being angry or mad or smthg and hold dark wrists and says don’t. basically that scene in iswm. Or some Mack stuff thanks!

“I’ve almost got it, Captain!”

‘Take your time. No rush.’

OKAY ONE LAST DON’T MEME. ONE.

Also extra heads up, I won’t be making comics for every one of the requests I actually pick. I have no idea how I kept up the momentum, but I’m pretty close to hitting burnout again lmao. 

(For the record I did want to do the Mack stuff, but this started as a sketched out meme and ended in a comic because I’m insane. Also vaguely inspired by one of my other asks which involved some of the characters playing cards at the end of the universe.)

Brushes: 

 - Jingsketch Clean Render (all sketching, painting, drawing, etc.) 

- Random watercolor brush again (backgrounds)

[dailykugisaki]

Day 121 | id in alt

They're recreating something that happened on a mission. Gojo is invested. Fushiguro? Lightly shaken.

[iholli]

glaring directly into the sun as I write them into my unpublished f/o list

[tenitchyfingers]

I have found this just now and have actively been losing my mind over this like one of those Loki fans in the early 2010s like

his FACE. He knows something we don’t and he’s TRYING to not say anything.

“I know that there’s been a lot of effort to establish that Stu is still alive in the last movie”

“They’re shooting Scream right now and I’m not in Scream right now. Right now I’m not in Scream, right now I’m in San Diego” (this video was posted in February but it’s sure that it was shot during SDCC 2022 which means he was talking about Scream VI, not anything in the future and him repeating he’s not in Scream RIGHT NOW doesn’t exclude he’ll be in Scream sometime in the future)

So, me, once again:

[lnkedmyheart]

Basically the condition of skk rn,

Fyo to Dazai- lololol fake chuuya stan.

Dazai- le gasp!

Chuuya- If I pretend to be a vampire I will not have to acknowledge anything.

Sigma- questioning every life decision that led him here.

[caramel-mocha-latte]

Hi hello!!! Sorry for the lack of posts recently, I've just been dealing with some pretty bad depression

And uhhh! I am currently unable to afford meds rn so I'm just gonna...

points at my $5 headshot commissions again

and even link my cashapp. Only $3 extra for a tiny on your shoulder now for my commissions! No charge for having a big hand patting your head or something cause it's actually easier to add than a tiny for me lol

https://ko-fi.com/mocha_latte/commissions

https://cash.app/$Astakoi

So uh.. if any of you want anything/just want to help me out, yeah I'd appreciate it a bunch!

Gonna try to get back into posting more art :> and do a few artfight things before the month ends

[dizzybevvie]

If I die within the next week know it wasnt an accident

[starlooove]

I rlly liked red hood the hill bc besides the gift it completely ignored everything else with the batfam which to meeee I’m taking it as the hill has been overlooked by the bats forever (see Orpheus rising) so yeah nobody there gives a fuck about those people and jason knows better than to bring that shit over there

[agenttexsflippedshit]

In an effort to spend less time on doom scrolling and falling prey to buying dumb shit I don’t need, I’m trying to get into new hobbies and make new art and just like. Be a better version of myself. And yeah rn the progress is looking like “spend an hour getting lost in the bobbin lace tags while watching a show at 1.25 speed” but there’s a project on the pillow and I’m excited to make progress.

This is also a roundabout way of regretfully informing my friends here that I’m watching one piece.

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

ik i'm getting emotional over a fucking himbo but the love hannibal puts into his food is like a desi mother's hug istg

[sga-owns-my-soul]

ha

[bpdohwhatajoy]

If you need a sign that it gets better here it is.

I sincerely mean this. You have to understand where I’m coming from. I’m mentally ill and traumatized and I’ve been like this for most of my life. So much of my life has been bad day after bad day. When people would tell me shit got better I’d get mad. I would get mad over the word happy because I thought the capacity to be happy had been removed from my brain. I didn’t think it was possible. I genuinely thought I would never get better and I believed it to my core. If you put a gun to my head and said to believe it I would’ve gotten shot that’s how intent I was on this. But if it could happen to me it can absolutely happen to you and it’s never too late for things to get better.

This doesn’t mean things will never be sucky. Of course they will. That’s life. But fuck. I used to have mental breakdowns constantly. I would be in abusive relationships that tore me apart. I lived in so much fear. I was so sick with anxiety. I would tolerate mistreatment from partners and friends and even people I hardly knew. I’d people please to no end. I’d overextend and be everyone’s therapist meanwhile I was drowning with no one to help me. I couldn’t set a single boundary without immediately feeling immense guilt and retracting whatever it was. I let everyone’s opinions on me inform me on who I was. I couldn’t cut anyone off or leave. I’d tolerate so so so much discomfort for the prospect of “love” that was actually abuse. I let things destroy me. I put myself last just like my abusers did. I didn’t stand up for myself. I’d ruminate on my past constantly. I couldn’t let anything go. I read old messages from shitty people like it was my morning news. I was so incredibly hopeless and alone. In all honesty I thought my last abusive relationship would be the end of me. I didn’t think I would survive it or the aftermath when that hit.

But it snapped something in me. That and being played by someone I trusted who betrayed me and took advantage of me. After that I vowed to never again tolerate the shit I had in the past. I gradually started to learn and apply shit I hadn’t ever before. I started to stand up for myself. I started to learn how to stop overextending as much. I started to protect my peace. I started to spend time on myself rather than shitty temporary fucking awful waste of time people. I started to trust my own intuition over what my abusers tried to convince me of. I learned how to cut people off, something that for most of my life I couldn’t fathom. I started to let people have their own opinions on me and not let it ruin my day. So what if someone thinks I’m rude? So what if someone doesn’t like me? I may be more alone than I have been in years but it feels much less lonely than having a bunch of shitty people in my life who are toxic and not genuine.

I’m okay being alone if it means I have my peace, something I used to be terrified of. I’d tolerate mistreatment if it meant I wouldn’t be alone. I smile and laugh easier than I used to. I have fun. I experience joy. I see beauty in the little things like the night sky and the moon or the waves of the ocean or the feeling of fresh air on my skin. I put myself out there more and people actually like me for who I am. I don’t mask nearly as much as I used to. I embrace my interests and parts of me I used to adamantly suppress. I don’t need anyone to make me whole. I’m whole on my own. I don’t think pretending to be something I’m not so people like me is worth it anymore. I don’t let little things destroy and completely color my day anymore. I don’t constantly read old messages anymore. I actually deleted a bunch of old shit from my camera roll for the first time ever days ago.

Like I said I’m not perfect. I still have bad days. My esteem has a ways to go. I still feel dissatisfied with my life at points. My mental illnesses and trauma still act up. I struggle. But my god. My growth is genuinely incredible when I sit back and look at the big picture which I guess I haven’t really done before now. I’m excited to see what progress I make even further as I continue to grow. I’m so different than I used to be and I suppose that’s part of why I’ve lost so many people. They can’t handle me actually setting boundaries and standing up for myself. They banked on my tolerance that’s no more. You will lose (toxic) people when you start becoming healthy which is something no one told me. But it’s so worth it. It’s so worth it.

I’ve made it through so much horrific shit. So many close calls where I nearly took my life or contemplated it. Yet I got through it all and not only that but I changed for the better. I lived to see it get better. If you’re struggling to find a reason to stick around, live for the possibility that things can get better. If they can get better for me, they absolutely can for you. Live for the possibility of joy, ease, beauty, and a life you like.

I made a post on here that blew up awhile ago that said that I wished I killed myself at 15. I disagree with that sentiment. I would’ve missed out on so much growth. I would’ve died without seeing it get better. I wouldn’t have accomplished so much. I wouldn’t have made so much progress. I’m glad I didn’t die at 15. I’m glad I saw things out and I’m on the other side of that despair with a smile.

[euphoricfilter]

why can’t i ever like stuff a normal amount. it’s either there is no interest or i’m intensely obsessed where whatever it is becomes my entire life and the only thing i can think about 🧍🏻‍♀️

[farminglesbian]

*BITES INTO GLASS ABOUT WHEEL OF TIME*