#my lonely webweaves

[go-to-the-mirror]

WAR MASTER: We've always been two sides of the same coin, and can you really imagine a universe without me? Could you live with yourself?

TENTH DOCTOR: Uh... I...

WAR MASTER: Interesting.

TENTH DOCTOR: What is?

WAR MASTER: I seem to have touched a nerve. A fresh one, too. What happens to me in our future that makes you so afraid of losing me now?

TENTH DOCTOR: Don't, just don't.

WAR MASTER: Why? Because it might violate the laws of causality?

TENTH DOCTOR: Because there are some things I cannot face, and I won't, again.

The Surrender Theory by Caitlin Conlon / The Sound of Drums / Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths / The Last Line / The End of Time Part One / -Bleed- by Aaron O' Hanlon / The Sound of Drums / Scheherazade by Richard Siken / The End of Time Part One

[insane-in-the-membranee]

I can forgive my father for all his wrongs against me, if only he had treated my mother differently. It is an echo, of what my mother says, "He may not be a good husband, but he is a good father." How do I tell her that one cannot exist without the other? He will never be a good father. He is not good to my mother.

—Reva

[moon-icarus]

the paradox of having a good father that died a bad man

someday i'll love ocean voung - ocean voung / lyra wren / forever's stream - 12.8.23 / supernatural, s12 ep22 / forever's stream - 12.22.23 / Karch_art on Twitter / i guess the old you is a ghost - unknown / the three ages of women - gustav klimt + bethanywebster / "i guess", mitski / bad's stream - 12.22.23 / bagi's stream - 12.28.23 / forever's stream - 12.28.23 / let your father die energy drink - cecilia corrigan / tubbo's stream - 12.28.23 / "the frost", mitski / ontarioparks / forever's stream - 12.6.23 / aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe

[deadpoetneenzs]

[thecosmoswhispers]

on loneliness.

Vincent Van Gogh, "The Complete Letters" / Albert Camus, "Notebooks" / Dogma / Ask Polly, "Help! I'm The Loneliest Person In The World (?) / Henry Miller

[sighmurderbot]

Loneliness

[jules-hates-vapes]

i’m not a boy but i want a deep voice and a little facial hair and i like my flat chest but i’m not ashamed of top surgery scars

i’m not non binary because sure it fits like a pair of dress shoes, proper, but constraining and the toebox is too small for my feet even if i size up, but if i size up i get blisters on my heels.

so i’m not nonbinary, but i’m still not a girl. i love my womanhood and dresses and makeup but i’m not a girl or even a woman, because i can’t take solidarity in feeling proud of the terms “mother” or “wife” or “sister” and maybe that’s a product of the patriarchy.

like i can’t use the word butch because i’m not a lesbian but i also don’t feel valid enough in my feminity to say i’m a gender non conforming woman, but i also dont want to be a girl because of the negative social connotations of it. i don’t hate women, and i am a feminist, but i also don’t think i’d choose to be female.

if i was born a boy, i’d be in the same boat- i’d be more comfortable wearing dresses and skirts but then i’d feel odd in suits until i got something done to make me more feminine. i’d reject my assigned sex either way, i don’t think gender’s a concept that really fits in me.

which sucks, because so much community is built on gender. wether it be the female experience (good or bad) or the male experience (good or bad) or the trans experience because i’ve never met another person with my feelings, because other trans people are so comfortable in their identity and find fellowship within it

i’m really lonely and frustrated because nobody seems to truly understand

[kyoukamybeloved]

“You sound like you’re certain he’s human.”

“There’s no way I could hate a man-made character string this much.”

“Look at us getting along so well. That’s what makes me love you!”

similar posts: 1, 2, 3

little beast - Richard Siken// art by @velaversal// I know the end - Phoebe Bridgers// cinnamon girl - Lana del Rey// This poem is want - Seema Reza// art from @seukorei// portrait of a blank slate - lovejoy// stormbringer - Kafka Asagiri// the secret history - Donna Tartt// art by @greendy2l// renegade - Taylor swift and big red machine// persuasion - Jane Austen// letters to Sartre - Simone de Beauvoir// art by @lotus-pear// pretty when you cry - Lana del Rey// for memories - wilbur// art by @liyv// Stormbringer - Kafka Asagiri// bite the hand - boygenius// shrike - hozier// Dazai Chuuya age fifteen - Kafka Asagiri// art by @thornedarrow// on a red horse - Marina Tsvetea// think of you - bleached// fragile - Molly Burton// art from dead apple manga// lonely - Natalie Wee// a loving feeling - Mitski// manga panels from Dazai Chuuya age fifteen and Dead apple// good light - Andrea Gibson// the papa and mama dance - Anne Sexton// ruin & rising - Leigh Bardugo// she is made of chalk - L.M. Dorsey// a farewell to arms - Ernest Hemingway// perfume - lovejoy// art by @j11nko// tasting the moon - Caitlyn Slehl// bonjour tristesse - Françoise Sagan// trust - Lucy Dacus// art by @pleucas// opera house / cigarettes after sex// on earth we’re briefly gorgeous - Ocean Vuong// the basket - Willa Cather// art by @pleucas// wanting - Emma Bleker//

tagging moots and some accounts who seemed to really like my other skk webweave, if you want me to untag you no worries just send me a message :)

@amagami-hime @philzokman @vivid-vices @nnavia @dazaiyuri @aelxr @bunglegaydogs @circuslemon @ricelover888 @anneme404 @charlidrawz @gorotic @oatmilkbasic @zamxii @dinosaur-mayonnaise @pendragonstar

[asoftepiloguemylove]

hii if you can, could u pls make a webweave on solitude? like, not being lonely but loving being alone and purposely being alone yk

i hope this is what you were looking for !!

José Olivarez February & my love is in another state (via @girlfictions) / All About Lily Chou-Chou リリイ・シュシュのすべて (2001) dir. 岩井 俊二 Shunji Iwai / Henry Miller Topic of Cancer / Isabel Allende The House of the Spirits (via @fromdarzaitoleeza) / pinterest / Franz Kafka from a diary entry dated July 1, 1913 (via @dailykafka) / Michel de Montaigne The Complete Essays

[llovelymoonn]

hello!! could i request a webweaving post ab feeling like you’re holding your friends back? if thats too specific its totally fine :))

mckenna grace do all my friends hate me? \\ siri hustvedt memories of the future \\ olivia laing the lonely city

buy me a coffee

[go-to-the-mirror]

03x13 Last of the Time Lords | Would Your Dog Eat You if You Died? Get the Facts. | 04x18 The End of Time (2) | Would Your Dog Eat You if You Died? Get the Facts.

[watchfuldeer]

man i miss tomgreg but mostly greg ugh. how do u deal w it? i have like 1 friend whos down to talk abt him w me 😭

anon if u ever wanna talk about greg with me

honestly it does get a little lonely when people move on to other things, but i can entertain myself for the most part - i’ve had a tomgreg webweave on the back burner for a month that i need to finish, i’ve been attempting some art. meeting jesse was also fun and gratifying, because he was genuinely very kind and positive about my interpretations of succession in addition to me as a person lol?? we clicked. oh and i got a shipping notification for the tomgreg zine, which i’m hugely looking forward to perusing.

i do have the keys to the tomgreg tumblr community, and in the last few weeks tumblr has finally made functionality, functional. maybe we can hang there :)

[thundercrack]

i read the article "the problem of marital loneliness" by agnes callard today because i saw this quote from it floating about on here:

It is a profound insight on Bergman’s part to notice that loneliness involves a detachment not only from other people but from reality in general. As a child, I had trouble forming friendships, and turned instead to fantasy. I could imagine myself into the books I read and, by embellishing the characters, supply myself with precisely the sorts of friends that I’d always longed for. If you have engaged in this kind of fantasizing, you know that the thrill of creativity eventually collapses into a feeling of emptiness. This is the moment when loneliness hits. You’ve prepared yourself an elaborate psychological meal, and you realize, belatedly, that it can never sate your real hunger.

Although I do often enjoy webweaving and the quotes that go about this website, I think taking this paragraph out of context erases the more interesting point of this article (the content problem with decontextualization!), which is literally continued in the next paragraph:

One is often loneliest in the presence of others because their indifference throws the futility of one’s efforts at self-sustenance into relief. (If you spend a party reading in a corner, you come to see, no matter how good the book, that you are not fooling anyone.) In a marriage, this loneliness manifests in the various ways that couples give each other space, demarcating spheres in which each person is allowed to operate independently. If I allow my husband to hold forth and he allows me to go paradox-mongering—if we humor each other—the very frictionlessness of the ensuing thoughts infuses them with unreality. “My husband and I cancel each other out,” Marianne’s client says. She means, I think, that we sap the reality from one another’s lives by way of our lack of interest, our noninvolvement, our failure to provide the constraining traction that is needed for even the most basic sensory experiences to feel real.

I thought the whole critique of the HBO remake of Bergman's Scenes of a Marriage was quite good and, justly, comes to a point at the end, which I find far more interesting than being lonely as a child:

By the end of the remake, Jonathan, Mira, and their daughter are flourishing, and even part of their house has been renovated. In Levi’s vision, the problem of loneliness can be addressed by adjusting the pragmatics of mutual dependence; at first, these changes are painful, but eventually everyone is better off—which is to say, better at achieving their goals. For Bergman, connecting is the goal, and it’s not clear that we can do it. It is when Johan and Marianne realize this that they become “citizens of reality,” a loss of innocence from which they cannot recover. Can any marriage survive an honest reckoning with itself? Can you get close enough to any person for life to feel real? These are Bergman’s questions; Levi doesn’t ask them.

Can you get close enough to any person for life to feel real? Anyway, I enjoyed the whole article. Probably more interesting than being annoyed by excerpts of it on tumblr dot com, a sin which i just committed and am now perpetuating

[blacknidstang]

I've been planning for ages to make dreamwidth account but knowing it doesn't have builtin reblog option makes it super depressing for me ngl. I am completely programmed to reblog and add silly expressions in tags and fill my blogs with posts and webweavings and poems and pics that makes me go cuckoo. Without rb it's so sos ooo lonely and sad

[dogearedheart]

Hey! I'm the request anon and I LOVED YOUR WEBWEAVE!!!! thank you so so much!❤️

Idk if I'm info dumping but I really wanted to talk to someone. Tomorrow is my birthday and so I've been struggling with the birthday blues and feeling of impending doom lol. Remembering everything unpleasant happened till now (I try so hard to be positive but it's like I've never been truly happy in my life ever) as a child I was lonely and too much of an adult and now as an adult I'm a hollow china cup broken and parts sticked together with weirdly cut tape. I'm sorry if I dimmed your mood with my sob story but your webweave made it a little bit better. So thank you 💙

i am super glad you liked it, anon!

i am sorry to hear about all of this. birthdays suck (at least in my experience, I've spent my last three alone in my apartment so yeah). life can be so fucking hard and especially when you feel like this. we can't make the bad things disappear, and it's okay not to always be positive. that's part of being human too - to feel everything, even the pain. i don't want to get too much into my life because that certainly doesn't help you, but I understand the loneliness part. i never really had any friends so i guess you could call me a lonely kid too. it's a certain feeling of 'am i unlovable' that comes with these things. but even tho you are feeling like a hollow china cup... there are people who love that shit! there are people who would look at this once-broken cup, and they would take it home to help you glue yourself back together, and treasure it for what it is!

no need to apologize or thank me! i am glad I could make your day a little better! take care of yourself, anon.

[gggoldfinch]

all posts about my writing can also be found under the tag “#goldfinch writes” below. additionally, all fanfic recommendations from other creators can be found under “#fic” which is also below. specific fic tags are also tagged.

additionally, here is the the masterlist of “my favorite fics of all time” recommendations

AO3 LINK • KO-FI LINK

Game of Thrones

★AO3: Free Treasure (Sandor Clegane/ OFC)

multi-chap ongoing WIP ★ canon-divergent ★ major warnings/ tags: modern chara in Westeros, arranged marriage, wedding night, eventual romance, explicit sexual content, sexual inexperience, pregnancy, canon typical implied/ referenced child abuse & sexual assault, violence, third person POV

official imgpost 🐺

launch imgpost ⚔️

fic playlist 🛡️

Fallout

★ AO3: From Eden (Cooper Howard “The Ghoul”/ OFC (could also be read as xReader))

oneshot: 16,631 words ☑️ ★ pre-canon ★ major warnings/ tags: dead dove: do not eat, canon typical cannibalism and violence and gore, horror, references to sexual assault by another character (doesn’t happen), chem use, radiation sickness, explicit sexual content, loss of virginity, rough sex, vaginal fingering & sex, praise kink, possessiveness, irradiated creampie, third person POV

imgpost 🌾

the ghoul playlist 🥩

★ AO3: The World Ender: From Eden Sequel (Cooper Howard/ OFC (could also be read as xReader))

oneshot series ongoing WIP ★ pre-canon ★ major warnings/ tags: dead dove: do not eat, canon typical cannibalism and violence and gore, horror, decapitation, chem use, radiation sickness, explicit sexual content, oral & vaginal sex, rough sex, daddy issues

imgpost 🦷

The Umbrella Academy

★ AO3: The Order of Death (The Swedes/ OFC) REWRITE OF SOMETHING GOOD

multi-chap WIP; rewrite/ reimagining ★ canon-divergent fix-it ★ major warnings/ tags: violence, major character injury, PTSD, references to suicide & mental health, mutual pining, domestic fluff, polyamory, eventual smut

playlist post 🧭

teaser trailer webweave 🧳

ch 1-3 webweave 🐈

ch 4-6 webweave 🥛

ch 7-8 webweave 🍳

Ghost (The Band)

★ AO3: I’ll Meet You at the Cemetery Gates (Cardinal Copia/ Fem!Reader)

multi-chap WIP ★ canon-divergent (ghost is not a band) ★ major warnings/ tags: meet cute, mutual pining, slow burn, friends to lovers, religious symbolism & imagery, eventual smut, unprotected piv, implied bullying & abuse, anxiety, angst

playlist post 🥀

★ AO3: The Devil’s Bow (Aether Ghoul/ Fem!Reader)

oneshot: 8,675 words ☑️ ★ canon-divergent (ghost is not a band) ★ major warnings/ tags: pwp, monsterfucking, explicit sexual content, loss of virginity, breeding kink, blood drinking, biting, praise kink, slight degradation, pet names, orgasm delay/ denial, religious imagery & symbolism

read on tumblr

Star Wars

★ AO3: Lonely Universe (Darth Maul/ OFC)

multi-chap WIP ★ semi canon divergent fix-it ★ major warnings/ tags: childhood trauma, hurt/ comfort, hurt no comfort, violence, force bond, eventual romance, eventual smut, unhealthy relationship (sort of), eventual unplanned pregnancy

playlist post 💫

Fargo

★ AO3: You’re an Angel (I’m a Dog) (Ole Munch/ Fem!Reader)

oneshot: 18,830 words ☑️ ★ canon-divergent ★ major warnings/ tags: domestic fluff, family feels, love & forgiveness, religious & supernatural imagery, hurt/comfort, smoking, bathing, tension, explicit sexual content, enthusiastic consent, body worship, oral & vaginal sex

Riddick Series

★ AO3: Hatchetknife (Richard B. Riddick/ OFC (could be read as xReader)

oneshot: 12,144 words ☑️ ★ canon-divergent (sort of?) ★ major warnings/ tags: possibly a little ooc, very brief discussion of SA (non-threatening), minor violence & injury, explicit language, forced proximity, only one bed, explicit sexual content, smut, oral sex, praise kink, scent kink, size kink, light choking, biting

read on tumblr

Dune

★ AO3: Nearly Fine (Book!Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen/ GN!Reader)

oneshot; 1,374 words ☑️ ★ during-canon ★ major warnings/ tags: SFW, written pre-Dune 2 movie, vague references to sex & violence, existentialism, references to bene gesserit order & political espionage, cuddling, angst & fluff

THE FIRST FEYD/READER ON TUMBLR & AO3 LMAO

read on tumblr