#my need for long buildups will be the death of me

[valeriianz]

so, i HAVE an idea for something 00's romcommy (thanks to @carnelianmeluha and @wordsinhaled) but as i was writing it, i thought to myself, "but they need backstory!" and what was going to be just a few paragraphs of introspection turned into a 3.3k high school AU set in the 90s. so, have this for now. part 2 will be up whenever i feel like it :)

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“Dream!”

Hob found him in a corner, blending into the shadows and had to laugh as he looked up at the sound of his name. He was wearing black, as usual, with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his tight jeans.

“So glad to see you here.” Hob said as he approached, looking upon his friend with a little less restraint than he typically allowed. The vodka-spiked punch was hitting him hard.

Dream relaxed a modicum, his shoulders visibly drooping as his chin tilted up.

“I am only here because you invited me.”

Hob’s smile only widened as he leaned forward. 

“Then I’m flattered. Do you want a drink?”

Dream shrugged and Hob laughed again, turning halfway and inclining his head for Dream to follow him.

Hob, despite being in with the more popular kids in his grade, wasn’t the biggest fan of house parties. He knew Dream wasn’t either; moreso, in fact. Dream was more likely to be found spending his Friday nights cooped up in the library, nose stuck in a book.

But tomorrow they were graduating from high school, and Hob’s parents weren’t coming back from their anniversary trip until the morning. Which meant this was Hob’s last chance to throw an epic rager. 

Though Derek Gallagher, the star athlete of their high school’s football team, was also throwing a party tonight, so it was less of a rager going on here, and more of a casual hang sesh. Hob couldn’t complain though. At least he liked the dozen or so people in his parent’s house, and at least cleaning up the next day wouldn’t be impossible. And no one had messed with the volume control for the music yet; 90s hip hop and r&b dripping through the entertainment system. 

Hob nabbed a red solo cup and ladled out the sweet drink into it, passing it along to Dream, who took it with a suspicious look before taking a sip.

Dream immediately blanched.

“Oh. That’s awful.”

Hob laughed again before biting his bottom lip. Dream didn’t seem to mind though, his own little smile peeking through.

“You can dilute it with more juice in the fridge, if you want.”

Throughout the evening, Hob tried to keep his attention on more than just Dream at his side, chatting with his fellow classmates and laughing along to stories and jokes, one last go at clearing up the rumor mill.

And though Dream mostly kept quiet, he did acknowledge those who greeted him, congratulated him on getting into a university in England, how fun it was going to be moving overseas, to which Dream hummed and nodded politely.

Hob was the only one who knew the truth: that Dream’s parents were sending him away. That while Dream had been accepted on an academic scholarship, it was only because his family had set it up for him. Had forced him to apply, had paid for his application and was having him shipped off next month, when Dream would turn 18 and they didn’t have to keep him in their house any longer.

What looked like a privileged situation was actually cruel and heartbreaking. Yes, Dream was going to Oxford. That was insane. Yes, his stupidly wealthy parents were paying for his room and board and what tuition the scholarship didn’t cover. But it was only a drop in the bucket for them. They saw Dream’s future more as a promising investment for when they grew old and needed Dream’s career to take care of them. Not as if they had plenty of money stowed away to keep them afloat during retirement and then some. Or plenty of children, for that matter.

And of course to say they had yet another child in some prestigious university didn’t hurt their reputation either.

Hob managed to derail the subject every time it came up, of where everyone else was going to college. It was inevitable, discussing the future with his classmates, given the timing. But Hob could see Dream sinking more and more into himself as the night went on, holding onto his drink more for his hands to be occupied than anything else.

“I know,’ Johanna announced suddenly, hours bleeding into the late evening. “Let’s liven things up a bit.”

She had several hands help clear a large area in the living room as she procured the empty vodka bottle, shaking it with a drunken twinkle in her eyes.

“Truth or dare, motherfuckers.”

The party, which had been dying down, suddenly turned up again. Everyone refilled their drinks and formed a large circle on the floor. 

Dream plopped down next to Hob, folding his legs and throwing a lazy, tipsy smile at Hob. Who had to take another sip of his drink to keep himself from doing something drastic. Like tell Dream how cute he was right now. 

His coal black hair was a mess, sticking up and curling around his ears from the excessive amount of times Dream had run his hand through it. His boots were off, his sock-clad toes wiggling in anticipation. And his blue eyes seemed to shine, reflecting off the Christmas lights Hob had hung around the house for the party.

The game started and everyone played along, turning up the stakes and performing various wacky scenarios that only teenagers were capable of escalating. Cori licked Alex’s eyeball on a dare, erupting a chorus of screams and gags and Alex furiously rubbing his eyes afterward. On a demand for truth, Rachel confirmed the rumor that she’d fingered Johanna under the bleachers freshman year to an absolute assault of jeers and hooting and hollering, causing the extremely rare sight of Johanna flushing scarlet from her ears down to her neck. 

Naturally the game turned racy after that. Dares to kiss and show off hidden tattoos. Truths to admit who fucked whom and what would you do for such-and-such.

Hob feels himself getting warmer. And not to mention Dream, who remained seated next to him during this entire debauchery, becoming increasingly more uncomfortable as the game wore on. Hob could sense him slowly slipping out of the circle, until his knee lightly touched Hob’s hip, instead of where it had been for the better part of half an hour, resting against his thigh.

Hob turned, finding Dream staring down into his empty cup, turning it around and around in his grasp, and had just opened his mouth to comfort him, when Johanna piped up across from him.

“Hob, truth or dare.”

Hob’s head swung forward, eyes falling on the bottle top pointing directly at him. He sniggered softly, taking another peek over at Dream and finding his eyes now on him. Hob gently laid his hand over Dream’s foot, giving it what he hoped was a comforting squeeze before facing Jo again.

Truth be told, Hob was feeling much too invigorated from the alcohol, and he’d been waiting for his time to shine. Hob loved making a spectacle and so let his smile turn into a smirk, meeting Jo’s challenging stare head on.

“Dare.”

A collection of “ooh”s and delighted giggles spread around the circle.

“Good choice, Hobsie.” Her own brown eyes sparkled with mirth. Hob wasn’t sure when Rachel had crawled into her lap, but didn’t let it distract him from her next words. 

“I dare you to…” Jo tilted her chin, tapping it in mock consideration. “Kiss the person the bottle next lands on.”

Oh, easy, Hob thought. About to open his mouth to say so, when Jo spoke up again.

“With tongue.”

“Pfft,” Hob sat up, pushing his chest out. “You’re on.”

He reached forward, licking his lips teasingly as his eyes roamed around the circle of his peers, getting a hand around the bottle and giving it a powerful twirl.

The room went quiet save for a few hushed exchanges and some girls giggling that only made Hob grin flirtatiously. He felt the alcohol in his blood rushing with enough speed to make him dizzy, and the spinning bottle honestly wasn’t helping. But Hob had been patiently waiting his turn all night so watch it he would. 

Soon, all eyes followed the bottle as it began to slow, a hush of anticipation that Hob’s peers had been accustomed to all night falling over the circle once more.

Until the bottle finally stopped, and Hob’s heart along with it.

Because the mouth of the bottle pointed squarely at Dream, sitting right next to him. 

Scattered hollering and clapping filled Hob’s ears as his gaze flicked sideways to his friend, who was staring at the bottle, his posture ramrod straight, his hands no longer fiddling.

Hob swallowed and ignored the jeering and playful jab at his side from Cori, eyes fixated on his friend, his best friend. Who didn’t like going to parties, who only smiled when he meant it, who only complained about his parents stupid and strict rules only if Hob asked, never wanting to appear annoying, or too much, preferring to keep to the shadows.

Dream, who would fold if only Hob gave him his best pout, allowing himself to be tugged along to a concert or arcade with a well timed joke and friendly pestering. Who seemed like such a stick-up-the-ass to everyone except Hob, who only had eyes for him. Hob’s best friend, shy and awkward and a little mean, and so devastatingly handsome it was a wonder Hob hadn’t had the balls to do something about it yet.

It would take something as juvenile as a dare to finally give Hob the excuse to act upon his helpless crush. Though Dream…

Dream hadn’t looked away from the bottle. Bringing his lips in to form a line and. Hob felt his nerves begin to escape from out his ears.

“Hey…” Hob spoke gently, moving his hand to carefully rest on Dream’s knee.

Dream’s gaze snapped to Hob at once, and the look in his eyes made Hob’s stomach drop.

He looked terrified.

Hob’s breath caught in his throat, the air around them suddenly thick with an unidentified tension. 

Cori’s voice popping up over Hob’s shoulder made them both jump.

“C’mon, Morpheus. Hob won’t bite, unless you ask him to!”

Hob sighed loudly, rolling his eyes for the group’s benefit, who eased up with a roll of snickering around them. One time, that happened!

“I–” Dream started, swallowing hard enough for his Adam’s apple to bob harshly. “I’d rather–”

“Just one kiss, Dream,” Hob heard himself say, a little desperate. A little too drunk. “It’ll be really quick…” He felt himself already leaning in and Dream’s lips parted, sucking in an audible breath.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss!”

Jo and Cori started the chant, and everyone around them followed suit, egging Hob and Dream on.

The realistic, rational part of Hob’s brain, which was still muddled by cheap vodka, tried to remind Hob that this was just a game, and Dream didn’t have to do this if he didn’t want to. He’d even opened his mouth to say so, amongst the drunken, teenage laughter and clapping in time to the chant.

But what he spoke, instead of insisting they didn’t have to kiss, that they could potentially even revisit this, and Hob’s ego wouldn’t be bruised, thank you very much, was a quiet,

“Please?”

Dream’s brows pinched together, he looked truly torn and Hob couldn’t figure out what that meant, especially as the seconds ticked away. Driving Hob crazy, waiting for permission; verbally or even a single head nod. Hob wet his lips and his stomach did an acrobatic leap as he caught Dream’s gaze flick down to catch the motion, his shoulders visibly rising as he took a breath.

“No.”

Hob blinked and Dream was untangling himself from the floor, standing up so fast he wobbled, and stomped out of the room.

The chanting died down at once. Hob felt himself frozen to the carpet in the surrounding silence. 

Somebody politely coughed. Hob’s gaze found Johanna, who only looked back at him in sympathy, her eyebrows tilted up. 

Humiliation and rejection burned in Hob’s chest, crawling up his neck and making his ears hot. 

Cori clicked his tongue and Hob whipped his head around to glare at him.

“Tough luck, buddy.”

“Shut up,” Hob hissed, feeling all the more embarrassed for it. He splayed his hands flat on the floor, pushing himself up without another look at his classmates, and walked towards where Dream had vanished to with shaking limbs.

—------------------------------------

Hob found him quickly enough, going through the laundry room and out the door that led to the back yard.

“Dream?”

Blue eyes, barely visible in the darkness, rose to find Hob as he made his way down the steps, sitting across from Dream, against the railing, putting distance between them.

Dream looked forward again, his eyes set, face unreadable. Hob hated that he was drunk at the moment because he’d otherwise never chuckle sarcastically like he’s doing now. Hiding the pain, perhaps, hoping Dream can’t see how ashamed he’s feeling, how rejection boils in his blood and even looking at Dream right now, twists Hob’s insides.

“What the hell?”

Dream takes a long breath through his nose, pushing his shoulders back. And says nothing.

“It would have just been a stupid kiss,” Hob goes on, unprompted. Words tumbling out of his mouth like vomit. “You’re my friend. Is the thought of kissing me so disgusting you need to run away?”

Hob feels his eyes begin to sting and throws his head back, smiling derisively. He was about to start crying. Great.

Once he’s gotten himself under control, Hob tilts his head down and finds Dream watching him, his own gaze softened, if only minutely.

His lips part, voice low and quiet. “You misunderstand me.”

“Then I’d love it if you’d explain,” Hob sighs roughly. “Because you just made me look like an asshole in there.”

Dream shakes his head, unfolding his arms over his lap and getting long, pale fingers around his knobbly knees instead.

“The world is ending tonight.” Dream starts cryptically, staring at how his fingers pick at the tears in his jeans. “Tomorrow we graduate. I’m going to England and we’ll never see each other again.” He looks sideways at Hob, who’s holding his breath.

“And you’re still worried about how people perceive you?” He takes a breath. “You choose to spend your last hours getting drunk and playing juvenile games? Instead of…” Dream gaze flits back toward the house, swallowing.

Hob scoots over, closer to Dream. Summer is right around the corner but the night air is cool still, clean and pleasantly quiet. And Dream blends into the darkness like he belongs there, the stars in the cloudless sky, how they light up the darkness along with the moon, giving just enough illumination to see by, to marvel at Dream sitting on Hob’s back porch steps. 

Taking in the wonder that is Hob’s closest friend, beautiful, shy, wicked smart Dream. Hob feels calm fall over him like a blanket. Mulling on Dream’s words, and settling on a response.

“What would you rather be doing?”

Dream finds Hob’s gaze again, and Hob lifts his shoulders, prompting Dream further, but he remains silent. Hob takes a breath, speaking again when Dream doesn’t respond.

“If the world is ending anyway…” Hob starts, licking his bottom lip. “Then just say it.”

Agonizing seconds slip by, where Dream stares at Hob, lips slightly parted, eyes widening.

“I want to kiss you.”

Hob’s heart lurches in his chest and he feels the air leave his lungs. Dream’s voice is so quiet, so fragile, it makes Hob ache.

“But not–” Dream inclines his head slightly, toward the house. “Not like that.”

“Oh…” Hob says eloquently, finding himself petrified once again.

There’s a new tension in the silence that falls between them. Waiting, anticipating. Hob takes a steadying breath and feels like he’s jumping off a cliff.

He gets on hand on the floor between them and leans over, his other hand hovering towards Dream. 

“Can I–?”

“Yes.”

Dream meets him halfway, pressing warm, chapped lips to Hob’s, and holding still. 

It’s sweet, and careful, and when Dream exhales from his nose, the warm air hitting Hob, his lips part to take a breath and Hob lunges forward, getting a hand around the side of Dream’s face and pulling him in. Hob sweeps his tongue along the seam of Dream’s lips once before diving past, pulling a surprised gasp from Dream that turns into a soft groan.

Hob’s fingers caress into the soft strands of Dream’s hair as they kiss, elation popping off like fireworks under Hob’s skin as he finally is able to touch his friend like this. Move his lips along Dream’s with drunken coordination and vigor, putting as much affection and want into the kiss as Hob could, hoping Dream could understand. Could feel how long Hob has wanted to do this. And as they move together, bodies naturally closing the distance between them and Dream’s hands finsting into Hob’s shirt before weaving up and around his shoulders, Hob understands why Dream would rather share this privately, without an audience of their peers gawking.

Because this was real. Years of repressed yearning and feelings bubbling up to the surface and tumbling forth in exchanged breaths and needy whines, Hob’s fingers digging a little harder into Dream’s scalp, Dream’s hands, in response, clawing at Hob’s back, pulling him impossibly closer as his body arched like a bow so their chests bumped and Hob could feel the heat of his friend’s body against his own.

Hob tore his mouth away, taking a ragged breath, stealing it from Dream, before going back in, again and again, little lips-only kisses that elicited the prettiest noises from Dream. Especially as Hob’s lips wanders down his chin and up his jaw, causing his friend to cling tighter to Hob, tilting his head to give Hob better access, breathing through his mouth, the hot air hitting Hob’s ear and driving him wild.

“Dream…” Hob finally spoke, his low voice painted in arousal and causing Dream to shake in his arms. He nipped Dream’s ear before licking it. “Why is this all coming out now?”

One of Dream’s hands went up into Hob’s hair, fingers tangling in the brown locks as he huffed his response.

“I could ask the same of you.”

Hob smiles, but it’s sad. He’s slowed down now, gently nudging his nose underneath Dream’s ear before pulling back, facing him once more.

Dream’s eyes flutter open and Hob feels struck down. He’s never seen Dream’s eyes so dark, his blue iris’ nearly all encompassed by the black of his pupils. Hob, unable to resist now, taps his nose to Dreams, taking a breath.

“I was scared.”

He can hear how Dream swallows.

“Me too.”

They sit like that for a long moment, holding on to one another, breathing each other’s air, savoring the revelation that had just transpired. And knowing it wouldn’t last. 

—-------------

They of course saw each other again at graduation, and throughout the days that followed. Hob prepared to move across the state to his chosen college and Dream prepped to leave the country all together.

Hob offered to drive Dream to the airport on moving day, but Dream shook his head, saying it was already too painful that he was leaving, he didn’t want any lingering looks. Instead Dream’s father took a quick detour to Hob’s house, where Dream stood in Hob’s doorway to say goodbye, and in full view of both their families, all they could do was hug. And Hob put his entire body into it, crushing Dream, who had always been so damn thin and gangly, in his arms and nosing his way into Dream’s hair to take one final, deep inhale.

“We’ll see each other again.” Hob promised, in that hopeful way young people did.

Dream only smiled ruefully, his eyes shining and causing a lump to form in Hob’s throat.

“Promise?”

“Yeah.” Hob nodded, getting his hands around Dream’s face and caressing his thumbs under his eyes and across sharp cheekbones. “You think you can get rid of me that easily?”

Dream huffed out a quiet laugh, the blue of his eyes sparkling.

[crystalflygeo]

Last of her kind Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Omega!Dragoness!Reader

cw/tags: Your usual mentions of slavery and sexual themes, A/B/O dynamics and heat mentions. Also allusions to depression and mentions of death.

notes: Aahahaha this took forever..... allow me top explain: first of all my new job is killing me and second of all I'm going through a hard period where I don't really like anything I write anymore. This work in particularly I kept struggling with the pacing, the dialogues, the way I wanted feelings to come across or scenes to flow it's just hhhnnnggg. I told a couple of friends that I set the bar so high with the first part I feel like nothing else I write will be that good. Then the second part was "ok" but cut off in a cliffhanger and has been there for SO LONG that now I feel this will be underwhelming after all the buildup//hit

I hope it's not. I hope it's good.

Anyway this part is in Zhongli's pov and contains flashbacks which will be fully in italics! Enjoy! and thanks for caring so much about this story ;w; ILU all <3

<- Part 2.

Your instincts mess up with your head.

Your crying and anxiety have simmered to a cold numbness.

Hours blur together, time loses meaning.

The doctor comes by sometimes. The maids bring you food. But everything feels… off, distant.

This doesn’t feel… like your usual heats.

You curl up and sob, a choked soft noise.

You don’t feel hot, but rather cold. Limbs weak. Dizzy.

Your heart aches.

You’re so tired.

And so sleepy…

Zhongli puts down the seal stamp and deflates back into his chair with a sigh, he must have read the same line at least five times already. He cannot concentrate at all. It’s not even been three days and each hour, each minute, feels eternal.

He’s already gotten so used to your presence, so smitten with you and your little quirks, your rare smiles, the way your ears and tail flicker, your pretty eyes…

And he remembers those same eyes begging for him, teary. Your pitiful cry. Your distressed scent.

Guilt eats at him. As well as something else…

He’s been restless, barely slept. Your scent is a siren’s song on the blankets, tart and fresh and tantalizing, but you are not with him. Anxious energy flows in his veins. This emotion, this thing that is like regret and sorrow and fear all tangled together, cleaves him through. His instincts are screaming at him, rattling inside a cage of his own making. His mate, his precious Omega is in heat, you’re scared and lonely and need him. Zhongli has to suppress a growl and feel the shudder of his scales at the fact that he’s not with you. In your nest. Taking care of you.

It’s agonizing.

"How is she?"

The same question, over and over, at any chance he gets.

"She refuses to eat, your majesty." Xiao tells him, and he can feel the concern in the younger Alpha’s voice. “According to the maids she only took a few bites of the ajilenak nuts, the rest of the food was left untouched.”

…

"She's um... she's always sleeping when I go check up on her." Ganyu explains a little crestfallen. She too is worried. “A-at least I think she’s in no pain… she was clinging to one of your hanfus.”

…

"You should go see her, Zhongli." Ping states, a rare serious expression on her usual gentle factions. “Baizhu says she’s going through the worst case of separation sickness he’s ever seen. Is that really what you want your poor Yin to go through?”

He lets out a frustrated rumble.

“Of course not. But it’s for the best, I don’t want to… take advantage of her, or force her to anything.” Zhongli frowns, trying to focus on the papers in front of him again, in an attempt to ignore her piercing gaze.

“Is it really any of that if she wants her mate?” Ping retorts. “She was begging you.”

I know.

He growls this time, and shakes his head at his memory of you. It haunts him.

“She doesn’t know what she wants.”

“So, you’re deciding for her then? Is that it? Honestly, are you listening to yourse-”

“She’s been conditioned to serve.” He cuts her off, voice grave and somber. “Trained to be submissive and please. She likes me simply because I’m kind to her, she wants me because she thinks it’s her obligation as my mate. I feel the pull of the bond too, the need, the yearning. But I also know she is afraid of Alphas and she thinks… she thinks she has to obey me. That she owes me something or that own her.” His eyes narrow. “I didn’t need to bond her. I shouldn’t have bonded her. I just… wanted her to be free and instead I chained her to me. And now she’s in heat…”

And it drives him insane.

“Listen to me, we’ve both spent time with her, enough to know she’s opening up and learning to voice her feelings…” Ping reasons gently. “It’s a slow process, don’t hurt her this way. At the very least… go see her.”

“I lost control once with just one kiss from her. I will not do it again. I will not harm her any further.”

The elderly woman keeps silent for a few moments. Zhongli sighs and rests his forehead in his palm in defeat.

And then Ganyu approaches, a little tense, a stack of papers in her hands.

“Your majesty, the Qixing are starting to arrive, council meeting will begin soon.”

“Very well. Thank you Ganyu.” He stands up and nods at her, then turns to Ping and his demeanor softens a little. “You know I just want to correct my mistakes, and give her the life she deserves. At least a fraction of it, of happiness.”

It wasn’t supposed to go this way… Zhongli sighed as he walked up to the room where the “reunion” with the sumerian would take place. It was long overdue seeing as he had spent the night by your side, refusing to leave after you had cried and begged so desperately…

After he had bonded you.

He had initially taken the eremite’s claims with a grain of salt, but naturally he had to make sure. The last dragonblood had supposedly died decades ago, so how…?

And yet when he saw you for the first time in that room, he knew.

You were real, you were beautiful. Suddenly he felt a million things at once: He wanted to get to know you, stay close to you, protect you. Old draconic instinct vibrating excitedly on his soul. You smelled vaguely familiar, your tail was gorgeous, your ears adorable. What if you didn’t like him though? What if he harmed you? Scared you? Suddenly he was nervous, nervous of ruining this, nervous in a way he hadn’t been in so long, like when he’d been young and Liyue had been at war and he had lost everything to fire and smoke and dust and he had to make difficult decisions and-

He had always calculated his moves. No room for risks. Too much at stake.

But you, you disarmed him. Completely.

You, with your polite gentleness despite the obvious cracks beneath the surface.

You, with your beautiful looks and enormous potential, even if you didn’t see it yourself.

You, with that look of yearning and hope, with your soft lips and sweet moans, with your warm body fitting perfectly against his.

For once, he allowed himself to make a decision with his heart, not logic, not politics. Just instincts.

And he claimed you…

…

He enters the room. A couple Millelith soldiers stationed by the door, Xiao standing by his side loyally as he sits at his place of honor as the emperor. Your ‘master’, an Alpha eremite named Zaheer, kneels respectfully a little below.

“I see you liked her, your majesty” He offers a sly smirk. “Did she satisfy you properly? She’s been trained on her gag reflexes to-”

Zhongli -Morax- resists the urge to growl. “We are not here to discuss that.”

“Ah, of course, business!”

Business.

“Since she’s such an exotic and well-trained slave I suppose we could agree on…”

“Do you think of me an idiot, Zaheer?” Morax’s eyes narrow.

“P-Pardon me?”

“She is a pureblood xiānshòu. I want to know exactly how she ended up being enslaved by you and your people.”

Cold and calculating golden eyes stare down at the eremite.

“W-What… she’s desert-born!” Zaheer retorts back angrily “She was born at a heat house. Maybe she has traits from your people because one of them decided to get a cheap fuck while traveling.”

“You expect me to believe that?” Morax asks unfazed “Liyue has records of the last of her kind disappearing and presumably being murdered when a village near Sumeru borders was razed to the ground. Do you have a disclosure?”

Zaheer stands up and growls, clearly an Alpha not used to having to bow his head and accept things not going his way.

Clearly an Alpha used to intimidating and attacking others.

Xiao wields his spear and changes his stance to an offensive one. The Millelith guards also tense.

Zaheer gets even more irritated, feeling like a caged animal. Backed into a corner. “Emperor or not” He starts through gritted teeth. “If you’re not going to pay me then I’ll take my merchandise back and do business elsewhere where I’m not being accused of ridiculous claims.”

“You’re right that I won’t be doing any business with you, but we’ll see how ridiculous those claims truly are. Zaheer, by my word as the emperor you will now remain detained in Liyue.” Morax sentences.

The eremite’s red eyes widen in shock and rage and the desert-dweller shoots up to attack Morax, getting easily overpowered and neutralized by Xiao’s quick moves. In seconds his weapon drops to the floor as the Yaksha general points his spear at the unconscious man. The Millelith quickly retrieve him and the blade before Morax simply nods at them.

Months. It had been months since then and he had to begrudgingly release the man as no accusation connected him to anything. They were essentially out of leads. There did appear to be documentation of your birth at a desert village but Zhongli would be hard pressed to believe the half-assed story you’ve been told…

And since you are pureblood, then both of your parents, and most importantly your dam, was also a dragonblood. That’s at the very least one Liyue citizen enslaved in a foreign nation.

He would get to the bottom of this.

For now, however, he had to cast those worries aside.

The Seven members of the council sit around the large table, the Liyue Qixing, leaders of all the commerce and trade sectors of the nation.

Zhongli takes his place at the head of the table. Ganyu does so as well by the sideline.

“Very well, what’s our first topic today?”

“Did Master just… leave?”

There was silence at the table, Zhongli and Ping sit frozen and you get just a bit nervous.

It’d been a few days since you started your new life, and though Zhongli was sure you were warming up to it he knew you still had a long way to go. It was probably still a little surreal for you… such a big change from everything you knew.

The tension on his shoulders quickly drops again. He continues eating. “Yes.” He says simply. Ping follows his lead, saying nothing.

The faster you forget about that eremite, the better.

“Hm…” You continue eating as well. Your expression is a little conflicted…

You inhale.

“Was he… happy… that I finally found a mate?”

Zhongli turns to you sharply and tenses again like a cat bristling. He holds back his tongue so as to not say something he’d regret. Why do you still care about that despicable man’s opinion? Why do you still seek his approval? Did you really think he cared about you? Zhongli desperately wants to make you understand how that slave-owner only saw you as an object, how he fed you lies, how his mistreatment is inexcusable…

But he can only imagine how deep your scars run, and how that toxic mindset has settled and accompanied you for years. He cannot judge you for caring about someone who doesn’t deserve it.

“Why do you ask, dear?” Ping asks instead.

“I don’t know…” You mumble, poking at the congee with your spoon. “I always wanted to make him proud.”

Proud.

Him?

“I think what matters most is how you feel.” Zhongli says, his hand reaching out for yours invitingly and you place your fingers on his palm, getting a soft reassuring squeeze. “You don’t need to rely on how others view you or think about you.”

You seem thoughtful for a second, your ears flickering back insecure but then standing up alert again. “I am happy” You admit. “Very happy. I have the best mate in the world.” You smile brightly.

Zhongli’s heart does a flip.

“With the excessive rains in the northern villages, there have been many floods and a lot of crops have been severely damaged or lost. Our previous contingency plan is in action already and donations are being sent to help the affected families. However, we must prepare for a decline in the harvest of certain grains and vegetables this season, as well as an increase in prices for a few months due to the shift in demand and supply.” Keqing explains expertly, the young alpha’s expression is serious and solemn.

“It’s an opportunity to strengthen commerce with Mondstadt and Sumeru.” Ningguang chimes in, leaning back on her chair, arms crossed. “The value of jade and other crystals is on the rise as well.”

“Not to mention, we’ll be employing several architects from the Akademiya to help with the rebuilding.” Keqing adds, turning to Ganyu, who nods.

“Greater lord Rukkhadevata and lesser Lord Kusanali have agreed on a certain exchange program with Liyue. I started drafting up some proposals already if you’d like to see.” The blue-haired secretary passes along some documents.

Ningguang’s eyes skim along the page. “It’s almost like our new Sumeru-born empress was a sign.” She smirks. “By the way, where is she?” She turns to Zhongli, curious about her fellow Omega.

“She’s rather indisposed at the moment.” The emperor replies dryly, not wanting to delve much onto the touchy subject. “Ganyu this looks good, however we need to think about-”

There is a knock that quickly surprises everyone. Who could interrupt a council meeting and why?

Baizhu peeks in with Changsheng curled around his neck, a frown on his usually gentle features. “Your majesty, a word. It’s an emergency.”

All the members at the table stare silently as Zhongli stands and follows the doctor.

Ganyu has a bad feeling…

“We have no time, follow me.” The green-haired doctor walks briskly along the wooden corridors, he looks… frustrated, dejected.

“What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t want to panic. He never panics. But something inside him does. It’s obvious that this has to do with you. 

“I apologize, your majesty. I thought it was just a case of separation sickness but… the empress is showing signs of widow’s wasting.”

Zhongli stops.

His heart skips a beat. His skin prickles with dread.

“She’s… dying?”

Baizhu shakes his head. “It hasn’t reached that point yet, but… she’s deteriorating.”

The guilt is back. The fear.

“Given what happened, I’m pretty certain the shock of your rejection was the trigger. Still, it is highly unusual for a Yin to suffer from widow’s wasting without their partner actually dying, even more so for it to settle so quickly. Her reaction is akin to someone who had never left their mate’s side for years.” Baizhu explains.

You trusted him.

And he turned his back on you.

What have I done?

“In any casssse, it’ssss not too late.” Changsheng’s little voice pipes in. Baizhu keeps leading the way and Zhongli follows, though he obviously knows the entire palace like the palm of his hand, at the moment his thoughts are scattered and far far away.

“She needs her mate’s reassurance. I have done what I can with medicine but this is a bonded pair matter.” Finally, he stops at a juncture and turns to Zhongli. “Please, your majesty, only you can save her. I will tell Ganyu, Xiao and Ping of the situation, and if you need anything, just ask.”

Zhongli nods, mute.

The snake narrows her eyes. “Don’t leave her sssside.”

“Changsheng.” Baizhu shushes.

She is right to chastise him. He deserves that and more.

“I won’t.” Zhongli nods and heads down the hall.

Widow’s wasting.

The words echo in his head. He’s seen the damage it can do. How a broken bond, the loss of the most important person, can destroy someone inside. Did you really care that much about him? Did he really hurt you that badly?

“Please…”

He didn’t mean to.

“I have the best mate in the world.”

He feels like a monster.

“I want to stay with you. Sleep together. Like mates.”

He needs to see you. He needs to make sure you’re ok…

He stands in front of the nest room. The same one where he first met you.

Opening the doors only slightly to slip inside, Zhongli's eyes widen and a hand flies to cover his nose and mouth when a strong smell shakes him to his very core.

The room he expected to be completely saturated with intense heat pheromones… instead bears the acrid scent of despair.

This isn’t the lustful call to breed and have children that made an omega vulnerable and pliant. No. It is a desperate cry from a heartbroken omega for their mate to come back, to stay with them, to love and protect them. It is grief.

You are suffering because of him.

To think all this time… he was afraid he'd make you uncomfortable. That he’d scare you, hurt you, ruin the bond you’ve carefully built. Instead, he is overcome by an all-consuming terror. Every part of him screaming at his mate's weak essence.

And there you are, his precious treasure, his sweet dragoness.

You lay curling in on yourself letting out small muffled sobs.

“Y/n…” 

No reaction.

“Darling, my dear dragoness…” He rushes up to you immediately, grabs your hand and pets your hair. You look so weak, your skin is feverish, how has it only been three days? It feels like a lifetime…

You shift a little and your eyes blink open, staring at him dazed, red and puffy and your expression defeated. You let out a pitiful whine and more of that bitter sad scent is released. 

“No my dear, don’t cry, I’m here. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Zhongli coos as he curls up to you, frantically starting to scent and nip at your neck and shoulders affectionately. His horns manifest and his tail follows through, lashing about a little restless. The bond… feels wrong, broken. He should be able to intimately feel you this close and yet…

He tries to reposition you a little so you can lie on top of him, rest on his chest. It’s concerning how easily he can do so, you’re like a ragdoll in his arms, unresponsive and unmoving. His hands cup your face, thumbs rubbing at the traces of tears in your cheeks. You let out a frustrated whimper. “Shhhh shh it’s okay. I’m so sorry.”

Even if he says it a million times, it won’t feel enough.

Zhongli nuzzles at your neck and proceeds to do something he hasn’t done since he was practically a teen. He purrs. It’s a little rusty, comes off more as a grumbling but it seems to work as he feels you relax just slightly in his arms.

“I’m right here” Zhongli’s deep voice assures you, tugging you closer, mouthing at the soft skin along your collarbone. “I’m not going anywhere and I’m all yours, I promise, I promise. I won’t leave you alone, not ever.” He soothes.

He lowers a bit of your clothes at the shoulder and grazes his fangs along your faded mark, you tense and let out a long shaky breath.

“Everything will be ok.” He kisses the spot. “I’m sorry.”

And then he sinks his fangs in to reestablish the claim.

You cry out in pain and squirm, clawing at his clothes, but he holds you, his hand rubbing circles at your back, his tail intertwining with yours.

...

.....

...

At first nothing changes, but after a few moments… a low strained purr bubbles up from within you again.

[iamnmbr3]

just imagine a drarry au where draco and harry meet again after the war because they're both in the auror program. the first time they have to practice dueling everyone thinks it's going to be super dramatic between of their history of rivalry at school and the fact that Draco was a Death Eater and Harry defeated Voldemort

But the thing is, a lot has changed for them. Harry spoke at Draco's trial and saved his life and he knows Draco risked everything by not identifying him at the Manor. They don't want to hurt each other anymore. They're not enemies now, but they also don't really know how to be around each other yet.

And there's too much history around the other times they've fought. Harry can't stop remembering the duel in sixth year and how he almost killed Draco by mistake, can't stop picturing him just sixteen, lying gasping in a pool of his own blood. And he can't bring himself to strike first.

Meanwhile Draco's trying to make amends and redeem himself. The last thing he needs is for everyone to think he intentionally cursed the Boy Who Lived Twice, Savior of the wizarding world. And even worse than other people thinking it, is if Harry thinks it, if he has to see those green eyes looking at him with disappointment, thinking he hasn't changed. So he doesn't want to strike first either.

So after all this buildup and even though they're both formidable duelers with seeker-fast reflexes, they just both kinda end up awkwardly standing there with their wands at their sides.

After an uncomfortably long pause this actually breaks the tension between them because it's so ridiculous. Draco's all 'go on then' and harry kinda mumbles something about how draco should go first and draco rolls his eyes and is all 'yeah im really going to curse the "Savior" in front of everyone. that will do wonders for what's left of my reputation' and harry's like 'oh so u think you're fast enough to actually hex me then' but draco doesn't rise to the bait and just insists that harry go first, though he's starting to sound annoyed now for all he tries to control it.

but now harry's set on being stubborn and finally draco does Rictusempra just to shut him up and as a callback to when they were children. So of course Harry has to counter with Serpentsorsia. (Draco insists to himself that he absolutely does NOT find the fact that Harry can still speak Parseltongue attractive at all. Really. He DOESN'T.)

Afterwards things are easier between them. they find themselves gravitating towards each other. and sitting together. and chatting. and eventually even spending time together outside of training and starting to consider each other friends. and then more than friends.

by the time the 3 year training program is over all of their classmates are tired of how soppy and in love they are. they still get silly when they duel though and throw ridiculous, juvenile spells and bait each other. but now it's more playful.

[lunafreya24]

A Passion of Ice and Fire

Pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon/Cregan Stark

Chapter 1: Jace returns home after his visit to the Vale and Winterfell. He has discovered he has feelings for men, and he doesn't know how to tell is family. I'm terrible at summarizing.

(cw: talks of sex (more in later chapters), internalized homophobia, period-typical homophobia)

Notes: Luke is still alive because I love his dynamic with Jace. Aemond still attacked Luke and injured Arrax, but neither of them died. However, because of this attack and the death of Visenya, the Dance of the Dragons is still going to happen. The buildup to the war is going to be slower, and Blood and Cheese won't happen now. This story focuses mostly on Jace/Cregan.

As Prince Jacaerys flew back to Dragonstone, anxiety brewed in his chest. His visit had gone well, too well in fact. He had fallen deeply in love with the Wolf of the North, Lord Cregan Stark. That would have been horrid enough, but the most awful thing was, Cregan had fallen for him as well. They had shared their love under the stars in the Glass Garden, then once again in the young Lord’s chambers. Jace longed to tell his mother and brothers about the passion and warmth between himself and the Lord (leaving out major details when discussing it with his mother), however it wasn’t that simple. Intimacy between two men was seen as one of the highest crimes in the realm. Many whispered that his father Laenor had such affection for a multitude of men. Those rumors never ceased after his death. If anything, they had doubled in the years following and were just now starting to fizzle out almost a decade later. As he grew older, Jace realized there was a great deal of truth in such tales. And while his mother always spoke so kindly about Laenor, his mind still played tricks on him. 

What if she only spoke kindly about him because she didn’t want her children to think badly about their late father, true father or not? 

What if she only tolerated him because she needed the allegiance of the Velaryons?

Then he turned his thoughts to his own fate. 

What if she finds out what I am and hates me? 

What if she takes my title away? 

What if she kills me? 

What if….What if she doesn’t want to be my mother anymore. 

Jacaerys didn’t realize he was crying until he felt coldness on his cheeks with the cool air above the clouds. Vermax could sense the tension in his rider’s frame. Each twist and turn were more erratic than normal, and the usually levelheaded dragon became easily spooked by each bird and insect that came in close proximity to them. Jace took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down before his emotions caused Vermax to have an accident. The last thing his family needed was for him to crash because he was too busy being upset about his would-be relationship with a political ally. 

The ride became much smoother while he made the rest of his journey back to Dragonstone. As he descended into the mainland, Lucerys and Baela were there to greet him. As he jumped off his dragon, that terrible feeling came flooding back to him. How could he do this to Baela? A mere few weeks after they are betrothed, he lay in bed with Lord Stark. Had they not been betrothed, she and Lucerys would have been the first people he'd tell, now he can never tell her. He hugged Baela first then immediately turned to face his brother. Luke noticed something wasn’t right, but he continued with his usual greeting whenever his brother returned from a long flight. 

“How was it?” Luke asked

“How was what?” Jace asked, slightly flustered. 

Luke was certain now that something had happened while his brother was away. He answered back slowly. 

“Your flight.... Jace, is everything alright?” 

“He’s right cousin, you’re sweating, are you ill?” Baela asked, concerned. 

Jace flinched subtly as she touched his forehead. “I'm fine. It must be from the cloak they gave me at the Wall.” 

Baela nodded. Luke quickly grabbed his brother's arm and began to pull him inside. “Well, you must want to change your clothes before you give your report to the Queen.” 

[sickficideas]

Hello it’s me Rui again! You’ve been so good to me recently for absolutely no reason at all but your own kindness. But I’m here to share some sickfics with you and the wonderful lurking community that looks at your page. 

In my opinion, I think that finding good bsd sickfics is actually really hard. So many of them are too short, not enough buildup, emit enough suffering… you get the idea. I tend to find that sickfics are best (in my opinion) when there is good buildup and absolute suffering that then elicits care :]

I have 411 (mainly soukoku) bookmarks, that vary between hurt/comfort and sickfics. (Most are hurt/comfort because sickfics that I like are hard to find). I’ve spent an unholy amount of time going through thousands of bsd fics to find satisfactory sickfics, and I thought I’d share them here for anyone else who struggles finding them <3

Mainly focusing on emeto fics for this blog because that’s what the central topic here is lol. I hope you enjoy some of my stash! If you end up liking it, maybe I can share my larger stash of hurt/comfort. I wish this category wasn’t so sparse.

» Nothing || Fraink5 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/11365941

A sadder fic with a bit less emeto. TW for major character death. I know it’s not exactly emeto, but it has its moments, and I find that this short little fic provides some of the same things that standard emeto fics do. Definitively worth the read if you’re in the right headspace for character death.

» Nebulous || way1203 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/37985296

Beautiful Chuuya sickfic oneshot. It’s about the aftermath of corruption. There’s a lot of delirium, sometimes it is hard to suspend my disbelief, but I still enjoy this one a lot.

» You’re a Canary, I’m a Coal Mine || PlayRough - https://archiveofourown.org/works/37985296

One of the more popular bsd sickfics writers, but I found myself needed to include this fic. It is quite long, but it’s basically just Dazai suffering from sickness and Chuuya assisting him. I’m ashamed to say this has become one of my bedtime stories.

» surely i’ll go bite the dirty dust || lizzielovessharks - https://archiveofourown.org/works/36533236

I can confidently proclaim this as one of the most criminally underrated bsd sickfics I’ve ever had the honour of discovering. Chuuya and Dazai are severely injured after a mission, Chuuya can hardly walk, and he’s sick. They just get so tormented but there’s so much comfort in this short and sweet fic. The ending always makes me smile, and I find myself coming back to this one very often.

» In Sickness and In Heath || TheShortestAlchemist - https://archiveofourown.org/works/48006802

Chuuya taking care of Dazai :]

Less emeto but still provides much comfort for the soul. 

» I’ll Take Care of You || Anonymous - https://archiveofourown.org/works/49949443

Sorry this one isn’t emeto either… but it’s chuuya being torment by Arahabaki so much that he gets a migraine that renders him unable to do anything. Still fulfills many sickfics desires.

» Poisoned Valentine || Wolf___Spirit - https://archiveofourown.org/works/53768785

Someone tries to send Chuuya home with poisoned chocolates with the intent to kill. However Dazai ends up eating them first, thus causing him to endure a lot of pain. (Read this honestly it’s wonderful)

» Burning Out || Trinity_of_Madness - https://archiveofourown.org/works/18899161

Long term corruption side effects… that’s all I’m gonna say. Take it or leave it as you see fit :] (it’s very fluffy, however it is quite bittersweet in case that’s not what you’re looking for)

» crimson headache, aching blush || kaiunkaiku - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344119

More post corruption. Chuuya really needs a hug. He gets one. (Recommend reading lol)

» Underwater || TheGreatCatsby - https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344119

I’m so sorry. Not as much of a sickfic, but gosh it has to be one of my favourite comfort oneshots to ever exist. Chuuya does have a small emeto moment though. Ahhhh I’m so sorry for getting off track in these recommendations, I just have so many 🪦

» A Joyless Ride || calmlb - https://archiveofourown.org/works/55224694

This one is beautiful. I personally love the motion sickness Dazai headcannon. And this does a perfect job at demonstrating it. Dazai and Chuuya are on a mission, but they have to escape via Chuuya’s motorcycle. Dazai gets motion sickness that Chuuya had not considered.

» on standby for you || lonelydoctors - https://archiveofourown.org/works/48558496

Chuuya is hit with a virus ability and Dazai has to take care of him while he suffers. I really enjoyed this one. 

» Flashover || affectropia - https://archiveofourown.org/works/35640841

Bittersweet concept that is the reason behind this fic being a sickfic. However, it has a fluffy ending, and is only the care taking half of it. 

» beating drums and piping flutes - as they play the rain will fall || saanoir

This fic has to be another criminally underrated one. It’s the insomniac Dazai headcannon, except he starts feeling badly. All alone, he remembers a promise him and Chuuya made years ago. Hurt, even more comfort.

» I Think I’ll Just Collapse Right Here, Thanks || huntersserenity - https://archiveofourown.org/works/27219268

Chuuya has a drink poisoned. He is disoriented and not very functioning, but Dazai is there to assist him like he always is. (Very good, underrated, highly highly recommend)

Andd that’s all I got for now! Aside from another wonderful writers works that I didn’t include. Their username is ringingmaybelles and they make very very quality sickfics. Definitely read their work if you want the best there is to offer.

I’m sorry for the long list, I hope it is helpful/enjoyable. Sorry to come back and bother you with this essay. Thank you for letting me share these for the fellow sickfic enjoyers 😭😭😭

(Apologies in advance for the links not working I’m sorry ahh, you’d have to put it into your browser qwq)

RUI!!! You have no idea how much I appreciate you doing this for us 💖💖💖 hehehe...you're so sweet🙈🙈

I know a lot of people on this blog loooove SKK as well, and you've included many sick Chuuya fics here which I find more difficult to come across...this hand selected list is so beautiful and I really appreciate all of the effort you went through to give this to us 🥺💖

It took me a little bit to get to this ask chronologically between all the asks in my inbox but here are clickable links compiled for everyone's ease, since tumblr asks took yours away hahaha!!

I've included short summaries from the fic's original summaries along with Rui's descriptions, but please head the warnings and tags on the fics themselves!

Enjoy and share with fellow SKK sickfic enjoyers :))) I haven't read many of these and I'm so excited to dive in 🙏 let me know if any of the links are wrong so I can fix them, and if any of these authors see this and want to be tagged on tumblr ;)

Nothing by Fraink5

"Chuuya wakes up with a terrible fever--except he can't stay awake. Dazai is determined to keep Chuuya from losing consciousness, but how long will it last?"

Nebulous by way1203

"Chuuya struggles with the aftermath of using Corruption too many times and Dazai helps him through it."

You're a Canary, I'm a Coal Mine by PlayRough

"Super self indulgent Dazai sickfic."

surely i'll go bite the dirty dust by lizzielovessharks

" "Come on Chuuya," He muttered quietly as they felt themself having to pull Chuuya harder and harder to keep up, "Just a little bit further." -- or more Chuuya angst :) "

In Sickness and In Health by TheShortestAlchemist

"Dazai is sick and Chuuya takes care of him like the loving bf he is~"

I'll Take Care of You by toucheslikethesun

"Dazai walks into the ADA to find a desperate and distressed Chuuya looking for him, haunted by Arahabaki and having been unable to sleep for a long time."

Poisoned Valentine by Wolf__Spirit

"On Valentine's Day, Dazai steals and eats some chocolates that were given to Chuuya in the mafia. Turns out they were poisoned chocolates."

Burning Out by Trinity_of_Madness

" “Chuuya… We have to go…” Dazai whispered and pulled him up unwillingly. -- Chuuya held his hand, followed his guide with his usual smile on his face. Dazai’s chest tightened painfully at the sight, and he couldn’t stop himself from pulling him into a tight embrace."

crimson headache by kaiunkaiku

"the aftermath of corruption is its own kind of hell."

Underwater by TheGreatCatsby

"Chuuya has never liked water, but he never thought about why."

A Joyless Ride by calmlb

"Dazai hates motorcycles but right now he doesn’t have a choice. It does not go well"

on standby for you by lonelydoctors

"Chuuya gets hit by a virus ability and Dazai has to take care of him"

Flashover by affetropia

"Dazai tried again. Now, he gotta to deal with the pain, and Chuuya is there. He always is there when he needs."

beating drums and piping flutes - as they play the rain will fall by saanoir

"Dazai, in the midst of suffering another bout of insomnia, remembers a promise he made to Chuuya a long time ago -- to go to him when he's feeling bad."

I Think I'll Just Collaspe Right Here, Thanks by huntersserenity

" ‘ ‘Samu,’ Chuuya groaned. ‘Wanna take a nap.’ -- ‘You can’t nap right now, darling,’ Dazai said." "

The end 🏁 Enjoy!!

[lunasuccor]

Alone Together

Hiei x (Fem)Reader

————————————————————————

Author’s Note: This fic came from the inspiration I got from reading other user’s works about Hiei and being such a huge fan of his character. Mainly written for me and my friend a fellow Hiei enjoyer, this is kind of a feel good type fic that has a lot of buildup playing on his curiosity and softer side. When I first wrote this I never thought about posting it anywhere, but the more I wrote the happier I was with it, and near the end I realized how proud I was of it and wanted to share it around. I may be posting another part or two, and if I do, feel free to send me an ask with suggestions if you liked this one :) enjoy!

TW: Blood, Hickeys, Biting, Fingering, Unprotected Sex, Pinning Down, Minors DNI, 18+

————————————————————————

Everyone had been asking why you were suddenly taking a different route home from class, not walking with your “friends”, and even going a good distance out of your way. Your explanation was always the same, that you just like being able to walk by the water - a lie of course. Your interest wasn’t so much the water glistening during the sunset, but a person who sometimes could be found there. Ever since you were young you’d seen and felt things you couldn’t explain, like the creature that knocked aside your parents car like a toy back when you were in middle school. Of course no one believed you, that your parent’s death in that crash was no accident, so you had learned to keep whatever you were seeing and feeling to yourself. Maybe that’s what drew you to him, the dark haired boy dressed in black, sometimes laying in the grass by the river other times miraculously standing on telephone poles nearby. You never really gave how he got up there much thought, all you knew was that like you, he seemed to be so alone.

Finally, you reach the river and like everyday, give a cautious glance around for the mysterious boy. Despite your numerous trips this way passing him, you’d never dared speak to him or even given him more than a passing glance. You’ve put yourself out there far too many times in an attempt to make friends, only to have your hand slapped away. It was enough that you and the boy could share in this moment of silence together as you strolled by, that, and your own imagination. But looking down the street you notice him, with a group, and your heart sinks. You retreat back behind the building, sliding down the side of it to sit on the ground, pulling your legs in. Of course he’s not alone, no one would be as lonely as you are.

You lean out from the side of the building to get a look at them all. The tallest one had orange hair in a pompadour, which was….certainly a style choice. Both him and the other dark haired guy looked rather plain, average even. The third guy had pretty features and long red hair, and then there was him. Though you’d never noticed before quite how short he is, it hardly seemed to matter, as his voice and demeanor easily dominated the conversation when he felt the need. You suddenly felt your face turning red, and realized you probably shouldn’t think about him and “dominate” in the same sentence. You shake your head to dismiss such thoughts and then you notice his ear twitch ever so slightly, he motions to turn his head but you’ve already retreated back behind the building. After a moment, you dare another peek and try to focus on what they’re saying, the boy seems to be disagreeing with something. Suddenly through the groups arguing you hear “C’mon Hiei”, which he seems to answer to.

“Hiei” you repeat back to yourself under your breath, though somehow he seems to have heard and whips around in place, and you can no longer be sure if he was able to see you as you darted back into hiding. Still you listen as they seem to resume talking, causing you to sigh in relief. You sit for a while with your eyes shut, listening for them to finally leave so you can finish walking home. Letting your mind wander, you think about how you’ll go about trying to approach him the next time you come this way. Not that you’d ever have the courage to do something as bold as that, besides you feel it’s doubtful he’d be interested in someone like you anyways.

After some time you hear them saying goodbyes and breathe a small sigh of relief, you open your eyes to get ready to go and yelp involuntarily. There Hiei stood mere inches from you, his stature meaningless since you are sitting on the ground. He stares daggers at you saying nothing, perhaps expecting you to merely flee yet you sit there frozen, staring at him as well like cornered prey. After a moment, your heart begins to pound in your chest, you’ve passed him countless times but never been this close. As much as you hate to admit it, you enjoy having him stand over you like this, right now he may as well be 8 feet tall. You yourself feeling so small and helpless, your mind spirals thinking about the possible things he could do to you. Suddenly, Hiei also blushes, seeming almost embarrassed and angry.

“THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT??” he blurts out before turning around seemingly to hide his face as he seethes.

“I…what?”

“Listen girl, I’m a demon, it would take less than a second for me to kill you.” He says turning around and pointing at you accusingly. “The idea of what I could do to you that would stimulate your sexual human desires should be the last thing on your mind! Now who are you, why were you listening in on our conversation and what are you doing here?”

You sigh, tell him your name and continue on to explain everything, he listens but clearly seems annoyed nonetheless. It feels rather strange that Hiei was just a stranger a few minutes ago, yet you find yourself so comfortable with him, demon or no. Hiei is surprisingly silent even as you finish explaining, perhaps some part of him understands your feelings, or maybe he’s just being polite - not that he seems like the type.

“So, is it…still okay if I come this way after school? Maybe talk with you?” You ask sheepishly, Hiei merely giving a vacant stare as though considering it, he closes his eyes and turns away.

“Do whatever you want, but don’t say I didn’t warn you that demons can be dangerous, and if you talk don’t expect me to converse with you.” Turning just his head to look at you, Hiei appears to be deep in thought, hesitating even.

“What’s the matter?” You ask tilting your head to the side, confident that he’s merely trying to find the words.

“...What even is ‘making out’ anyways” he says plainly, causing you to snicker a bit but turn red once more all the same. “Those words seemed to cross your mind a lot when I read it earlier, so what is it?”

“Um, well…it’s like you touch your lips together in a kiss but like, over and over. It’s what people do when they have a connection or you know like each-” You barely manage to get your description out at all then abruptly Hiei grips your side pushing you against the wall merely collapsing before he presses his body against yours to hold you up. He is warm, and a scent reminiscent of a campfire wafts about him, using his other hand he cups your face. Hiei’s staring at you once more but now there’s a curiosity in his glare, like he’s studying your reactions and wondering if they’re the right ones. Grabbing you at the back of your neck he pulls you down somewhat - into a kiss, your heart flutters and his warmth seems to spread through your body. After a moment, he pulls away, still keeping your faces touching.

“Is this what you had in mind, how you pictured it?”

You find yourself unable to find the words to answer but manage a few quick nods, Hiei then takes this as reassurance and kisses you again, then again.

Despite supposedly not knowing what making out was, he quickly finds his rhythm, even starting to grip your hair causing you to moan softly. You feel your breath getting heavy and the growing excitement between your legs, when suddenly he stops, pulling back to look at you while quite red himself. Slowly, he pulls away as you get your balance back, then turns on his heels taking a few steps away.

“Interesting.” Hiei says without turning around, and in a flash he’s gone. You slump back against the wall trying to process what just happened, soon enough however, you collect yourself and head home.

————————————————————————

The next day went by in a blur, all you were able to think about was Hiei, about feeling his warmth again. As you walked to the river, you couldn’t help hoping he’d be there and in the mood to talk - among other things. You shook your thoughts away once more, after all Hiei seemed to do what he did out of curiosity more than anything else. Turning the corner to the river, you peek around for your mysterious ‘friend’, and there he was - laying in the grass on the hill without a care in the world. Doing your best to still your rapidly beating heart, you approach, stopping once the sidewalk meets the grass.

“Hey Hiei, it’s me *****.” you provide your name again half expecting him to have forgotten you, he doesn’t open his eyes but answers you nonetheless.

“Yes, I knew it was you, human.”

“Is….it okay if I sit with you?” You request hesitantly, yet Hiei still does not move, hands supporting his head and his dark coat billowing in the wind.

“As I said, do whatever you like.” Hiei answered you plainly, he almost appears mad - frustrated even, although he’s doing his best to hide it.

Regardless you quietly step through the grass and sit a few feet beside him, setting down your bag as well. You sit for a moment enjoying the gentle breeze, the sunset glistening on the river, the soft fresh grass beneath you. You may have been alone and sat in silence for much of your life, but never like this, sitting beside Hiei gave you a comfort you’ve never known. He can struggle to hide it all he likes, but you can sense Hiei more than simply tolerates your presence, perhaps even enjoyed the moment you shared yesterday.

“You have an unusual level of spirit awareness, you know.” Hiei said suddenly, shattering the silence and startling you.

“Spirit Awareness?”

“...Demons can make themselves invisible to humans in this world, I’m doing it right now, and usually am for that matter.” Hiei turns his head towards you and opens a single eye as he talks. “So right now, you look crazier than everyone already seems to think you are.”

“...That’s…fine, I’m comfortable here - with you.” You manage to force the words out while looking away, and when you turn your gaze back, he’s staring at you. It’s just like yesterday, he’s gauging your reactions, searching for anything you might be holding back. You get the distinct impression he doesn’t spend much time around people, and he’s learned to be cautious, never risking giving something away he shouldn’t.

“You’re a strange one, finding comfort beside a demon.” He turns his head back to stare at the sky before continuing “You have no idea the things I’ve done, the things I’m capable of doing.”

“I’d say you’re a strange one for finding comfort with me then.” You cover your mouth unsure where you even got such an absurd idea in your head, but then again he does seem interested in you doesn’t he? Looking back at Hiei you see he hasn’t moved or reacted, perhaps he didn’t hear you? Just then he laughs, sitting up to lean back on his hands.

“Oh? I tried out a single human gesture, let you sit here with me, and that must mean I’m utterly infatuated is that it?”

“Typically that’s what would happen, yeah though not necessarily in that order.” You explain calmly once he’s finished attempting to make a fool of you. “However, maybe it’s different for demons.”

“If you must know, mating simply isn’t as big a deal.”

“Is that so? Then you didn’t feel anything after yesterday?” You retort but Hiei seems to have lost interest as he turns back toward the river leaning on one knee, at least so you thought. Even with the sunset turning the river into a shimmering stream of golden light, you can still see Hiei’s cheeks redden as he thinks to himself. You inch closer, again taking in his woodsy campfire scent, Hiei only turning to look once your shoulders are nearly touching.

“That feeling? Your body, sending the blood rushing to your face like that.” You whisper to him, even reaching out to poke his face to make your point, but Hiei continues to stare unflinchingly. “That's what gave me the idea you’re comfortable with me.” Feeling ever bolder, suddenly you cup his face in your hand, and kiss him - a long heartfelt kiss. You feel the familiar warmth spread through your body as Hiei hesitantly places his hand on yours, gripping it tight enough to pull grass up with it, as though he was afraid to get lost. When you pull away, Hiei’s expression fades back to normal ever so slowly, and he turns to face the river once more without another word.

After sitting together for a while, you finally attempt to get to your feet, only to realize Hiei is still holding your hand. You lift up your hand and Hiei turns, watching you curiously. Removing your palm from his grip, you then slowly take the opposite hand and interlock your fingers with his. You then give his hand a gentle squeeze and Hiei gives a much rougher squeeze in return, though he seems to get the idea. You smile and take back your hand but Hiei merely lays back down onto the grass with his eyes closed as he was when you arrived. Picking up your bag, you make your way back to the sidewalk, but stop when you hear Hiei call your name.

“See you tomorrow.” He uttered the words so simply, but you could feel the weight that was behind them.

“See you tomorrow.” You repeat back with more enthusiasm, then noticing the faintest smile on his face, you smile and head home.

————————————————————————

Another day of class, and another day of doodling poorly in the margins of your papers, constantly distracted by thoughts of Hiei. You haven’t been able to stop from wondering what else Hiei might’ve seen in your mind that day, what else he might be curious about. Funnily enough, you’ve never fallen for anyone, even your kiss with him was your first. Still what you lack in experience, you make up for in imagination, and the long list of dark romance movies you’ve seen has given you plenty to think about. You reach your typical meeting spot but Hiei was oddly nowhere to be found, you give the area a good once over to be sure, but eventually resign yourself to sitting back down in the grass.

Besides your spot you can still barely make out the indent in the grass where Hiei was laying just yesterday, you smile until a chilling thought slips into your mind. Remembering Hiei’s words about how crazy you must look to people since he’s invisible to everyone without Spirit Awareness, you fold your arms, looking back toward the river. After a moment you grip yourself tighter, reassuring yourself that you’re not crazy, Hiei is real and he’ll be here. Giving Hiei’s spot in the grass a few quick side glances, you take a moment to look around again, it’s mostly warehouses around here so there is rarely anyone around as usual.

“Hiei? Are you here?” You ask the open air beside you, considering that maybe your Spirit Awareness isn’t high enough to see him today, you have no idea how that works after all.

Suddenly, you’re startled by laughter from behind you, it seems you somehow failed to notice a group of boys from your class walking by on the sidewalk behind you. You blush and turn back towards the river, thoroughly embarrassed and hoping they didn’t notice you talking to thin air. Closing your eyes and burying your head in your arms, you sit there a while, reassuring yourself once again that you’re not crazy. Finally, after the boys have long gone and the dark of night begins settling in, you get up and head home.

————————————————————————

The next day you’re heading back, and although you get the feeling you’re being followed for some reason, you push on regardless. Hoping that yesterday he may have merely been busy, you hold out hope that Hiei will return today, even having thrown on some makeup and the star earrings you have left from you mothers belongings. Cautiously, you approach the river again, only to discover Hiei is once again absent. Even the indent in the grass has since stood back into full vigor, you make to approach the grass to sit but stop on the sidewalk, considering just heading home instead of waiting in futility. You’ve come this way for over a month now, and Hiei was always in this area, the fact that he hasn’t been here might mean he won’t come back.

“Did you come here to talk to yourself again girl?” A voice calls out behind you and in your desperation you whip around.

“Hiei?” You blurt out, only to see the boys who were walking by yesterday, you collect yourself as best you can and stand up straight. Though it’s not enough to hide the fact that you’re blushing in embarrassment, and the boys chuckle to themselves, certainly at your expense.

“Is that your imaginary friend’s name? It sounds like even your imaginary friend has left you, huh?” The other boys chuckle to themselves again, and you hold your bag tighter in your arms, you can’t believe you mistook this guy for Hiei and the frustration shows on your face.

“Hiei is not imaginary.“

“Isn’t he? Everyone who comes by here says you’re a freak who’s been talking to yourself.”

“That doesn’t make it true.” You insist back, though even now you’re second guessing your actions, one of the boys grabs your arm but you pull away.

“Why don’t you just admit you’re a freak, and this worlds better off without freaks.” He says back before nodding and the boys get a better grip on your arms.

“Stop it! Cut it out!” You cry out, but no one comes to your aid, the sound echoing off into the distance, before being drowned out by the sound of the river. The boy lifts his hand, taking hold of one of your earrings.

“You may be a useless freak, but these sure seem like they’d be worth something.”

“Those were my mothers, stop!” You yell and scream, but he gets a grip on it regardless, and instead of removing it he simply pulls it down. Tugging your ear harder and harder still, you stop struggling not wanting to hurt yourself but it doesn’t matter, he tears the earring straight out of your ear lobe. Tears start streaming down your face, it may be a small cut in your ear but between that and realizing you’re truly alone it’s just too much. You hear something faint over your crying but everything is such a blur, you can barely feel when he reaches for your other ear.

“Move another muscle, and I’ll end your pathetic lives.” You heard it that time, the voice and tone unmistakable, it’s Hiei. Sure enough his voice is enough to make the boys freeze, easing their grip on you as they turn their heads.

“What the-”

“I didn’t give you permission to speak worm.” Hiei’s voice sounds more aggressive, as though he’s teetering on the edge of erupting, similar to how he seemed to speak with that group before. “Release her. NOW.”

Shuddering at his words they comply, letting you slip carefully to the ground, you grip your ear keeping the pressure on it. You’re in a lot of pain, but you continue to shed tears of joy all the same. You slowly look over at Hiei several feet away through your tear-filled eyes, and he’s giving you the same stare he always has, though there’s a heat behind his eyes. He raises his head to stare at the boys, now backing away from him besides the one who ripped your earring out. In an instant, he closes the gap and has drawn a sword he’s touching to the boy’s throat, his expression unchanged. Each of the other boys starts freaking out and starting to calm down yourself, you can see why, their ears have been cut in a similar fashion to yours.

“I suggest you return that, before I make you.” Hiei hisses at the boy, he drops it onto the ground near you and raises his hands. Unsatisfied, Hiei slashes across the boy’s already bloody hand, though it doesn’t appear deep. Clutching his palm, the boy backs up to his friends and they run off. Hiei places his sword away and kneels down to your level, you can’t help but smile regardless of the state your face is in. “And just what are you grinning about?” He demands while placing his palm gently on your head.

“I’m just happy to see you.” You say simply, then Hiei gets to his feet offering you his hand and helping you up.

“You really followed me, Kurama?” Hiei questions as he turns his head, all the while keeping a firm hold on your hand.

“You can hardly blame me, Hiei.” Kurama answers as he steps out from the shadow of a nearby alley, he’s the pretty boy with red hair you noticed Hiei talking to the other day. “You were in such a hurry to get back to the human world, and I know all too well that’s not like you.”

Hiei gives a sharp exhale, tips his head in your direction, and releases your hand. Kurama steps over to you asking to see, and in seconds he’s healed your ear, apologizing that you’ll have to get it re-pierced. After a handshake and a quick goodbye, he takes off walking away, apparently not nearly as concerned about making a snappy exit as Hiei. Hiei takes a few steps away in the other direction, then stops and turns to you over his shoulder, staring at you expectantly.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.” His voice much calmer now, he waits for you to grab your other earring, and you catch up to him offering your hand. Hiei hesitates, then holds your hand just as you had instructed the other day, obviously the difference in height between you makes it difficult but you make due.

————————————————————————

Hiei is silent most of the way home, despite the fact that your heart is threatening to beat out of your chest, being this close with him feels like a dream. Still a few blocks from home, he speaks up.

“I had something to take care of, duties, obligations.”

“I gathered. You don’t need to apologize, Hiei.” You respond in kind, but Hiei merely stops on the spot, unmoving.

“It was just humans this time.”

“What?”

“It could have been worse.” Hiei sounds tense, though not angry, like he can’t just bring himself to voice his concern.

You gently tug on his hand, and Hiei continues moving with you. When you reach your door at the apartment building, he stops again, releasing your hand. You unlock and open the door, Hiei turns away but you catch his arm.

“How…um…how much of what I was thinking did you see the other day?” You ask hesitantly, but he does not respond, and only turns back toward you. You pull his arm out of his pocket, and gripping his hand, you lead him inside.

Once you’re both inside, you set to work attempting to tidy up a bit, since you haven’t had a guest in - ever. Hiei looks about and finding your coat hooks, he removes his in one swift motion, placing his sword down gently near it. He takes a few more cautious steps into your apartment carefully taking in his surroundings, then stopping when he notices your open bedroom door. Once you’ve finished you walk over to where Hiei is and take his hand once more.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” He whispers, usually you have a good idea of what Hiei is thinking, although he’s quiet his body is rather honest. Yet you can’t figure out what’s on his mind right now, maybe despite his usual calm collected attitude you’ll have to walk him through it.

You take his face in your hands and kiss him deeply, He returns the gesture whole heartedly. Pulling away, Hiei manages to sweep you up in one quick motion, princess-carrying you to your bed. Setting you down gently, Hiei wastes no time climbing on top of you, taking only a moment to gently caress your cheek. Staring at you and once again reminding you of your first meeting, a beast who’s cornered his prey, except you’re far more willing.

Hiei leans in and kisses you, letting slip a moan you lay back helplessly as he trails a line of them down your neck. You reach up to feel his side through his shirt, gripping it needily, your other hand snaking around his arm as his hand travels up running fingers through your hair. Slowly Hiei’s grip begins to tighten, tugging ever so playfully at your hair before biting down on your neck lightly, putting just enough pressure to leave his mark. However, it’s little more than a tease, Hiei’s taking it slow likely out of fear of hurting you. You mumble under your breath, and Hiei pauses to listen as you find the words in your throat.

“Harder . . . please.” You whimper to him and Hiei hesitates before obliging, getting a firmer grip on your hair, biting your neck deeper, sucking a second more intense hickey into your skin. His sharp canines threatening to pierce your skin, you yelp and moan all at once, your breathing getting heavier as you grip Hiei’s arm harder for comfort. When he pulls back you can hear him almost panting, his warm breath further teasing your sensitive new bruise. You lock eyes for a moment, your lips crashing against one another the next, your hands exploring each others aching bodies. Hiei’s hand traces teasingly over your breast, quickly throwing your uniforms tie aside and gripping the top button of your shirt then stopping.

You give a quick nod before tugging up his shirt in turn, Hiei instead taking it from you, repeating his previous trick and removing it in an instant. You giggle under your breath and Hiei gives a small smirk, kissing you again before moving back down to your neck, his fast hands making quick work of your shirt buttons. You take a moment to revel in his kissing while tracing your hands over his arms and back, his skin was warm, inviting to the touch, and coated in several scars depicting a lifetime of battle and hardship. It made it all the more comforting that he was being so careful with you, while so vulnerable at the same time.

Suddenly Hiei pulls your shirt open, and you sit up to remove it along with your bra. Placing his hand at the curve of your waistline, he ever so slowly moves upward towards your chest, teasing you. Taking and massaging your breast with one hand, Hiei kisses around your other before beginning to suck on your nipple, teasing it with his tongue and teeth. You squirm and moan beneath him from the sensation, running your fingers through his hair once more, the excitement beginning to grow between your legs.

After alternating, giving your chest the ample attention it deserves, Hiei gently traces his fingers down, slowly pulling up your skirt as he wraps his other arm around you. Coming to rest his hand over your underwear, you become aware of just how wet you are with excitement and moan, Hiei smirks as he pulls your panties aside. Runing his fingers along the wetness of your entrance, he teases it while rubbing his slicked thumb over your clit, you whimper in between moans.

“Please Hiei…” you beg and Hiei obliges, slowly inserting one finger, then two. You gasp from the sensation flowing through you and Hiei takes your exhale as a sign, beginning to slowly fuck you with his fingers, still tracing circles over your clit with his thumb. You cling tighter to Hiei, the edges of the room starting to soften, he holds you closer as you quickly begin approaching that peak. It all feels so surreal, of course you’ve touched yourself before, but here with the boy you’ve pined over for so long feels leagues more intense. You stare up at Hiei and he kisses you, moaning against his lips as he curls his fingers while maintaining the rhythm, quickly bringing you to a rather loud orgasm your muscles gripping fingers nearly in place.

You struggle to catch your breath in Hiei’s arms, his hand still idly teasing your entrance, he stares at you with a half smile still breathing heavily himself. Having calmed down a bit you run your fingers along the top of Hiei’s pants, taking a quick look at how excited he himself is, you flick your gaze back up to meet his.

In a moment you’ve both removed the last of your clothing, Hiei kissing you while lightly pushing you back into your place on the bed, you moan feeling the gentlist graze of his dick over your clit. Lining himself up, he begins grinding himself against your wetness, trailing kisses over your neck while pinning your hands above your head. Holding your wrists in place with one hand, he brings the other down to massage your breast once more, you can’t bear to hold back moaning as his kissing moves further up your neck.

“Hiei . . .” You barely whimper out between moans, yet he only nibbles your ear in response.

“Use your words, I want to hear you say it *****.“ Hiei whispers directly into your ear, hearing him say your name sending a shiver down your spine in the best way.

“Please. . .fuck me Hiei.” You beg in desperation, finally able to get out the answer that Hiei already knew.

With that, Hiei sat up somewhat to steady himself, flashing you a mischievous grin. You bite your lip, running your hands over his shoulders and back. The next second you can feel him starting to part you, moaning as you throw your head back, Hiei’s dick enters you slowly and completely as his hips meet yours. He moans along with you, leaning lower to wrap a protective arm around you, he pauses for a moment as if he’s overwhelmed which isn’t surprising given how tightly you feel yourself gripping him.

Then Hiei begins slowly but steadily fucking you, just as you begged, your nails now digging into his back. Keeping his pace as his eyes lock with yours, you kiss eachother deeply, and Hiei speeds up. Pounding his hips into yours, you can feel yourself approaching the peak again already, and based on Hiei’s sounds of pleasure you imagine he is too. Placing a hand on his face, you smile up at him, Hiei is thrusting hard when he suddenly cums and you along with him. The feeling of him filling you up pushing you over the edge, Hiei moans deeply between reaching the peak and your orgasmic grip on him as he does.

————————————————————————

The remainder of the night is a blur as you wake up, groggily rubbing your eyes you wonder what happened, your room is still a mess but theres no sign of Hiei.

Looking over at the clock, you realize you’re going to be late for school and hurriedly get ready. As you’re brushing your hair, and despite the bit of bruising on your neck, you can’t help but wonder if your night with Hiei was all a dream. Afterall, you can’t remember falling asleep after . . . on second thought, you probably shouldn’t think too hard about it in fresh underwear. Struggling to slip your shoes on, you grab the doorknob and pull it open. There leaning on the railing was Hiei, who turned around when you stepped out the door, you could feel your heart practically jump into your throat. Hiei sat staring, disinterested as usual, then held out his hand.

“Come on *****, I’ll walk you there.”

[lucyandherlunacy]

before i start episode 5 of minecraft story mode i thought i'd put my serious first impressions of the "wither storm arc" here

first the positives: surprisingly, i find it really entertaining how everyone talks. the little pg curse words forced into every conversation, like 'crap' and 'hell' etc.? absolute time capsule. it works for me because i can 100% believe that these are people who live in a minecraft server in the 2010s. the wither storm was an excellent threat for the first 4 episodes. genuinely one of the best monster-villains i've seen in a video game. the conflict surrounding its creation and how it spiralled out of hand mean that it can motivate meaningful character tension despite being a monster, and the way it works is honestly really cool. a regenerating, nigh-unkillable mass of destruction that drags everything around it to its death and only multiplies once it's seemingly dead for good? plus the wither sickness and amnesia it spreads and the fate of the people who get absorbed into it? love it. genuinely threatening and spooky the arc had me invested to the point that i wasn't willing to really make any kind of 'evil/mean for the hell of it' decisions in my playthrough. it felt really nice playing jesse as someone who is just earnestly a nice and caring person who tries her best and keeps her gang together. it helps that the voice actress playing femjesse sounds absolutely heavenly she killed it in this role honestly i liked jesse's character a lot more than i expected too! their inexperienced and kinda bumbling yet optimistic outlook compared to say, the kind of stoic hardened adventurer you see in petra was really fun. combined with me missing a qte or two on occasion i definitely bought into jesse as this unlikely hero that came from nothing soren, ivor, lukas and olivia were the standout characters to me in that order. idk what else to really say they're great. i liked the rest of the cast well enough even if i thought some of them were slightly underdeveloped or just didn't appeal to me personally, the former of which i'll get into in the next section. reuben the pig i can't really speak on since i have a personal bad experience with his name that made me wince every time it was said. he was cute i guess ----------------------------------------------------------------- a few criticisms: i did redstonia, and idk if this an issue unique to that area but i found it to be too short. i just kept thinking there would be more to this society or at least more buildup to meeting ellegaard. most of what you see is just people's attempts to win her favor. i especially would've liked to see more of it since it ends up getting destroyed there was only really one time that the character drama felt forced to me, and that was the start of episode 3 where lukas tries to pull the amulet off you and petra scolds you for not saving axel and reuben. it was all uphill from there but that was the only moment i really was like "yeah this is shoehorned lol" mobs are handled kind of weirdly in this game. it's a nitpick at best and not something super serious but i guess it's weird to see zombies and skeletons just kind of being treated as a given in a populous world of various humans. i dunno, i just felt that not taking advantage of the fact that half the generic monsters are the undead or even really mentioning it was a weird move i kind of wish we just had one more episode in this arc. certain moments like ellegaard's death didn't hit as hard as they should have just because i hadn't spent enough time with her to get attached. and generally i think characters like axel and petra could've done with just a little more time in the spotlight for their characters to grow. i think they needed the kind of treatment olivia got in her moment with jesse in the farlands. even having done redstonia over axel's path it really wasn't long enough to add to her character the way that moment did for me ------------------------------------------------------------------ regardless, i genuinely really liked my experience with this game despite all the silly moments. if anything they enhance the experience for me and i can't wait to play more :)

[poppinelle]

I know what I want now

This is something that's been living in my head and my Google Drive for a few months now, and I realize that I'm never going to expand on it more than this. So why not just post it?

Pre-Jedi: Survivor, when The Band Breaks Up. You guys, I am desperate for that canon-compliant Fallen Order to Survivor Merrin/Cal buildup, okay? I'm not normal about these two.

“Merrin,” He pleaded. “Don’t. Please, please stay. You can’t leave the fight too.”

She rounded on him sharply. ”Do not speak to me of the fight, Cal Kestis. I have been fighting for survival for too long. I have fought by your side without question. For years, I did not know what else to do with myself." She breathed in deeply, shaking her head. "I am not sure of what to do next, but one thing I do know is that death will come for us all one day, soon enough. So now I need something to live for. What is it that you want from me?”

Cal felt like he had just stopped short on a cliff, his foot hanging over the edge. The ground could crumble beneath him and he could slide. He could step back and scramble to safety. Or he could back up and take a running leap off the edge, and hope to grab a ledge somewhere on the other side. Merrin stared at him in a way that made her seem both incredibly vulnerable and incredibly terrifying. 

He wanted her to stay. He wanted them all to stay. But he knew what she was asking, and he knew that he had to answer her honestly. “I don’t– I don’t know what I want.” 

She stared back, brown eyes soft but her mouth set in a hard line and nodded.  “Let me know when you do.”

[milder-manners]

Which challenge was your favorite from Dream? (I'd say bar manhunt but maybe it's actually not your n°1)

I personnaly really liked the random item challenge and the death swap

- V

(Manhunt is def my n1, don't worry I'm pretty standard)

My non-manhunt favorites change pretty often but at the moment ...

THESE TWO!!!

Minecraft Random Item Challenge VS 2 Hunters my Beloved!!

Like you V, I fricking love this video. The Drama, the unintentional thematic items, the situational comedy, (the story fic potential)!!

The video starts off with pretty standard stakes, Sapnap and George vs Dream. An unfair match, but no one’s upset, the audience knows how easily Dream can turn the tables if the circumstances turn juuust right. And despite what the title says, Dream is a Hunter like Sapnap and George. They all only have one life, and are fighting to the death.

But then, not even 5 min in, the power levels get completely skewed. George and Sapnap both receive diamond weapons and George gets a diamond chestplate, and Dream gets his iconic turtle helmet. Suddenly, the fight becomes a chase, and Dream has to run for his life until a new item spawns in to even the tides. (He finds a ruined portal underwater, and inside its chest is a flint and steel.)

Dream then gets some good armor and a trident, and the dynamics change once again.

The video kind of takes a turn for the comedic here. It’s a 2v1, yet Dream becomes the aggressor. He’s starts initiating fights, the one who chases down Sapnap and George with his dozen tridents, and it’s the duo who begins running off, building up a tower to get away. And this goes on even when George gets netherite boots and chest plates, and Sapnap gets an elytra and rockets; they still mostly engage in guerrilla tactics to basically harass Dream. Dream literally begins yelling at them to come here and fight him.

And that tickles me so much because this is basically a culmination of how the manhunts conditioned George and Sapnap to treat Dream; a guy who’ll prevail against all odds.

And this over precaution is what ultimately does them in in the end. It gave Dream enough time and space to prepare a TNT trap that kills them all.

Man, it’s such a fun video. I didn’t even mention all the little moments between everyone, like “OH GEORGE” “IT’S OH SAPNAP!”, “You have better stuff than us” “Pff—how?”, “George, I know you can’t drive but you need to do a u-turn baby”; and how the items eventually gained a theme with each hunter, creating a pseudo narrative of a sky spirit and rock/metal spirit harassing a sea spirit. It’s such a good mix of tense competition, and silly fun.

Minecraft Hostage Simulator

Another 2v1 video but also a muffinteers video! This one is such a classic for me, I genuinely hope they revisit this one.

The gradual development of Bad becoming a complete menace. The long trek of the horn passing between George and Sapnap and eventually to Bad. That hilarious point in the Nether where the two beat the shit out of Bad while he hangs off the cliff as retaliation. Dream embracing his inner trickster archetype, setting a deal with Bad with specific conditions to loophole around them. Sapnap and George pulling off that incredible boat trick and snatching Bad from Dream. Dream getting murdered by dolphins, a complete turnaround from their usual grace. The dynamic shifting midway in the video to a 3v1 when the Hunters decide to work together to Get Bad.

And that epic fight/chase after the Nether!!! Oh My God!!

The improvisation, the lying, the music with the chase, the buildup of tension from the editing! The sudden introduction of the reason behind Bad being a hostage was that he’s a sacrifice to feed the dragon?!?! Chefs kiss. Incredible ten out of ten.

Again, I hope this video comes back but with a way for Bad to win. He was literally the star of this show.

[metabolizemotions]

The timeline is broken 😭

The structure both worked n didn’t work? I think it’s really more for Tully than Vic, cos Vic already has sufficient backstory, n buildup -only a trigger is nec. Esp that late into the last season when we’re eager to see where the characters r going, not where they’ve gone or rehash some things? 704-5 worked well cos there was a balanced focus on the main not guest characters. Also imo flashbacks work better when anchored by familiar events, not vague period of multiple timeframes while jumping back and forth to the present?

I think due to the time crunch they want to condense the indiv arcs into single episodes. Like 703 for Travis with his dad, 706 for Vic & Tully with Morris, 707 for Maya with Mason.

The non-linear structure did allow for building a sense of history with Morris n the emotional impact that came after. It was a better way to incorporate the story of the guest actors, and it allowed for the inclusion of as many of the main cast as possible. The team hasn’t been really like a team since Maya was captain. There hasn't been any sort of real, shared n lasting experiences.

Imagine if we had a format like that that tied a season together, instead of the captainship n political drama, n tonally different n sometimes inconsequential scenes strung together to make up episodes, which went on to make up seasons. 704-6 r better than 701-3 imo, in an already better season, despite some issues. Sadly only upon cancellation r they focusing their resources n efforts to make it more dynamic n cohesive... n we didn't get more much-needed fresh takes from new writers n directors sooner...

We got to see the progression of how Vic came into her own as the leader for Crisis One. How it led to her emotional burnout n compassion fatigue - she truly cared for people, taking on their pain, while not being able to release her own unresolved pain or seek help when she needed it. A reality of mental health professionals, of women, esp woc.

The Travic scenes are the best scenes in a while now. It resonates the most when the writing felt true to the characters. Underneath the goofiness, they tell each other brutally honest truths. Like how they fought over their way to cope with trauma - Travis feeling the full brunt of the grief over Michael's death n struggling to really move on. While Vic quickly tried to move on after Ripley cos to let herself feel the pain fully was impossible. Or when they talked about the blatant racism/ homophobia or microaggressions each faced n how they buried instead of dealing with the pain.

Their friendship is my fav of the show and it took a backseat for a long time. Barrett n Jay have great chemistry n they always crushed it in their scenes - the emotional ones, the funny ones... But Travis hasn't been Travis, Vic hasn't been Vic, n Travic hasn't been Travic. The show tends to put relationships on hold and isolate characters n shoehorn their actions to fit the multiple new storylines they start, but don't always follow thru. A waste of the talent of the actors. When given good material like this, see them shine, case in point - Barrett here.

In a way it also felt like part damage control.

Tully thru Boris's eyes...

A rose-tinted look at a relationship built on conflicts which the show is working around instead of facing head on? Just like how OOC Vic was written in s6 when it came to Maya. It's like they realized they went too far, n now they are retconning instead of ever addressing their attitudes n actions towards Maya.

Filling in some blanks to substantiate their relationship in the lead-up to their wedding? It's valid for the shortened season - to some extent. They had been writing them as very selfish n egoistic people. Now they want to show their better sides to make people like them as a couple ... so the show can end in a big celebration of them? But just showing their good side doesn't work for me if they don't also acknowledge their darker sides.

Basically a chief n a captain ganged up to haze a junior colleague for months. An ex-battalion chief watched on n mocked - the same person who rallied the team behind him n gave him a job when he had none; the same person whose job he tried to steal. But after the extended saga, only Maya should apologize repeatedly?

I find it hard to root for Tully as a couple. The same reason why I don't find Beckett's arc fully earned. If they want to move on, yet keep making Maya be the only one addressing her own actions directly after she faced devastating consequences. While finding other ways to justify/ explain away/ minimize/ ignore/ retcon etc the actions of the others... It just makes for a very conflicting watch.

// b/w the new mayor n Ross? Also is it considered her growth? Since the brief Maya's "sit-down" of immediately shutting her down and calling her insubordinate... To when she later reconsidered and praised Andy about the "mutiny" which she jumped to conclusions to reprimand with no context... To now being okay with insubordination towards her boss cos she thought she was fighting for the right reasons... ?

Is that subtle subtext again? Is it me or is the writing for her confusing? Or is she a conflicted person who's not very self-aware?

[lunabug2004]

I watched The Eclipse (the series) and OMG I'm in Love?!?! ⚠️ SPOILERS ⚠️

Ya'll I watched The Eclipse the series over the last few days and... omg. I have so much to say so buckle up. Obv there will be spoilers! I also wanna mention that this will be full of very biased takes because I absolutely fell in love with Akk soooo imma be defending him.

Now that that's out of the way, first, can we talk about the couples? FirstKhao's chemistry?! I know I'm late to the game but man they blew me out of the water!!! They were so cute and wholesome (dw I've seen the OF edits, ik they're not always this way lol) and Akk and Ayan just pulled me all the way in! They both deserve the world and I will not hear otherwise! Now, the side couple, KanThua, were not my cuppa tea. I love Neo, I haven't seen anything with Louis in it but he's a good actor from what I've seen, and they look cute together, but they just didn't snatch me up unfortunately.

That leads me into the second topic, the plot (this is where it gets long, strap in). I believe this is the main reason the side didn't snatch me. They were definitely given the short end of the stick (this is before I found out that I hate Thua with a passion but we'll get to that). I would've loved so much more buildup than what we got from them. Thua's storyline just felt kinda off to me. We saw his stepdad say one or two messed up things to him, which ya eff him for that, but every other time he was pretty nice??? Maybe I'm just missing something but idk. Also the whole "Bruce Wayne" thing was eh to me. Kinda cute, kinda weird.

Now, Akk and Ayan's storyline???? Sign me uppppp! I love everything about it! I love that they are so there for eachother and literally picked eachother up off the ground mentally so many times. They need eachother and you can absolutely feel it. Then, also their individual storylines are just amazing. My poor babies. Ayan and dealing with his uncle's death and witnessing the terrible things at the school and getting bullied by the teachers and his declining mental health. Akk dealing with the manipulation of the teachers and his need to prove himself and his need to put everyone above himself and his declining mental health and ugh... sorry I could talk about Akk for ages, ya'll know how I get with my babies lol. All this to say I definitely came not knowing what to expect but stayed for Akk & Ayan.

The general storyline is... a doozy. The whole curse thing was so interesting and then it just... wasn't. But at the same time it was??? Idk it's so hard to place how I feel about this part of the plot. I don't understand the whole thing with Teacher Chadock's confession and that somehow affecting what was going on? Like sir, you still manipulated kids (specifically Akk) into doing awful things, I don't think all that happened is an excuse for that at all? Yes, it sucks and never shoulda happened but like... why act like that towards the students this whole time? And he didn't seem to show much, if any, remorse for his behavior either so... idk.

Now... let's get into ep 11 and Thua's whole thing. I will never ever ever forgive the character of Thua for what he did. I don't care how right he was (which he mostly wasn't), I don't care if he was speaking some facts, you don't ever out somebody like that!!! Esp as a character who we know has faced such bad discrimination and bullying for the same effing thing!!! It makes absolutely no sense and there are no excuses! The fear in Akk's eyes... ugh I wanted to punch Thua so bad ngl. The way that he also isn't even right about Akk 'creating the curse' and doesn't mention that he himself continued it after Akk saw the error of his ways and stopped. He made himself out to be squeaky clean when he honestly had the most blood on his hands after this whole thing. When he was cheering the episode before about finding the "one responsible for the curse" IT WAS HIM! AKK HAD STOPPED AT THAT POINT SO IT WAS ALL HIM! He also wasn't telling the truth when he said Aye was covering for Akk using their love as a cover! At first Ayan wanted Akk to tell everyone what he did... but then he saw what a fragile state of mind Akk was in and decided to try a different approach. Thua should've gone to Akk and Aye himself, he had no right to say anything he said without knowing the full story!!! THEN HE JUST IS FORGIVEN!!! NOO! I know that it's because of the cuts they had to make that we don't get to see the characters forgive him and whatnot but I don't care. He. did. not. deserve. to. be. forgiven. No one is changing my mind!

I could go on forever tbh so let's move onto the third topic... the pacing. I know this is the main complaint for this show and rightfully so. I really really wish they would've gotten the 14 episodes they were hoping for instead of the 12 they got. The pacing is just out of wack. The first half-ish is beautiful.... then it drags (slightly).... then it's rushed. Just disappointing, but not anyone's fault. The crew apparently thought they were working with 14 eps, we can't blame them, and we definitely cannot blame the actors.

Fourth, and final, topic: the acting!!! Uuuugh, ya'll! I'd seen Khao in a couple things and First in Not Me, but this is by far the best I've seen of them! They showed all the emotions and omg these dudes are professional criers, how are they both so good at it?! Btw, I see people talk about Khao's acting more than First's I feel like (could just be what I see idk), but First snatched me up! He killed every single scene, give me chills multiple times (Khao too obv) and showed Akk's character development flawlessly! All the supporting actors were obviously amazing too (special shoutout to my boy AJ cuz I love the twins)!

Anyways, if you sat through this half-rant, half-review, congrats! I honestly love this show and it's for sure going to be one I rewatch all the time and try to dig deeper into Akk's mind every time lol. Also if you read all of this and I didn't touch on something you wanted or you're just curious about my thoughts on anything (seriously anything at all), feel free to comment or repost or send me an ask, I don't mind!

[tiredspacedragon]

Thing about me is that I'm a huge softie. I want everybody to get happy endings and be alright in the end. And that's great for fluffy headcanons. But when I actually buckle down and think about my ideas for how things would go post-canon, it's a little rough. Because the point of Marendar is to kill Toa, and to have it show up and be defeated or change sides or what have you before doing any Toa-killing would just be a cop-out (especially after 10+ years of irl buildup). So that means some Toa gotta die. But who?

On that note, here's a potentially gruesome poll. Pick whichever option you think should happen most, and add anyone else you think should bite it in the tags.

Would have added options for surviving, non-zombified Toa from the Red Star, and Nobody <3, but alas, ran out of room. Also, Krakua isn't here because he has to survive to do the whole "lone guardian of an island fortress" thing and send Vakama that Kratana-induced vision he got back in Time Trap. So his survival is guaranteed. Everyone else, not so much.

Some anti-propaganda (reasons they all should die *evil laugh*) below the cut:

Toa Nuva: Would there be a bigger gutpunch than this? The flagship characters, the six heroes with one destiny! But that destiny is complete now, they don't need to be kept alive anymore. Imagine how much it would shake things up to take them off the board, how ruined the survivors would be if only a few of them went down. Wouldn't it just be so juicy?

Toa Mahri: They're one down already, so it's not like you'd be breaking up a complete set. Besides, we all know they're built for tragedy at this point. Jaller and Hahli could fall together. Hewkii could go down in front of Macku's eyes. Nuparu could sacrifice himself using one last invention to stop Marendar, perhaps making up for the perceived sins of the Vahki and Boxor. Kongu could accept death as it takes him, at least now he might see Matoro again.

Toa Hagah: These six are prime candidates, aren't they? Important enough for it to hurt, for us to care, but not so important that they aren't expendable. Never truly frontrunners. Named characters it's safe to kill. What more could you ask for? I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out Greg had planned to kill them so he'd never have to describe Gaaki, Bomonga, Pouks, and Kualus' appearances. Plus, Norik dying just after getting to see Varian again? Or even just before? Doesn't it hurt so good?

Takanuva: He only needs to live long enough to end the civil war between the Great Beings, but after that, if Marendar is still in play, he's fair game. What do you say? It would torture him more to see his friends fall while he lived on, but there is something poetic to "Takanuva, the first and greatest Toa of Light, whose life burned brightly, but quickly."

Yesterday Questers: These three are like the Toa Hagah, but even safer. Named characters, important enough for their deaths to matter, but brand new, without much audience investment. Besides, they're asking for it, aren't they? Ancient Orde, the chip on his shoulder as old as he is, could finally know peace in oblivion. Perhaps Zaria's death would finally clear his guilty conscience. And Chiara... Does anyone actually like Chiara? Would anyone miss her? Are these questions she asks herself? And wouldn't it hurt to hear her ask them in her final moments?

Varian: Talk about tragedy. Thousands of years, locked in a tube, dead to the world. Unaware time is even passing. And when she finally awakes, it's only to die. A waste of her character, perhaps, but if you don't mind fridging, it would piss off Norik somethin' fierce.

Tuyet: Doesn't she deserve it? And you know, Marendar does track Toa Power, and there's no greater source of that than Tuyet and the Nui Stone. It would be gunning for her. And it would be so deliciously ironic. All that power, all the effort she put in to get it, and it would be utterly useless to save her in the end. Her dreams of empire ground to dust in seconds, right before her eyes, as Toa Tuyet dies one last time.

Helryx: Think of the poetry. Marendar, the Toa's bane. What more worthy opponent could there be for the first Toa's last stand? It practically writes itself. Helryx has done her duty. The will of Mata Nui has been carried out. This is her perfect chance to go down fighting on her own terms, not as the leader of the Order, but as a Toa once more.

Lesovikk: This guy is Orde and Zaria but worse. He wants death so bad. And what else is there left for him to do? Karzahni is dead. His Matoran are found. What, will he become a Turaga and gift his power to the next generation of Toa? Will he wander the woods and care for the animals? Will he find joy and beauty in living? Lame. He misses his team so bad? Let him join them.

20-odd nameless mooks: By far the safest option. A Toa-killer would be pretty pointless if it never killed any Toa, but nobody said it had to be anyone we cared about, right? This is the best of both worlds. A pile of bodies to make Marendar a credible threat, but nothing and no one of consequence lost. A perfect solution, right? Just uh. Hope you don't have any OCs in here.

Mutants: The Dark Hunters are scattered, vulnerable. If these lost souls haven't found the greater group yet, they'd be easy to pick off. Good options too, right? Actual characters, so their deaths have some weight, but not major ones, so they won't be missed. Guardian was killed off in Reign of Shadows for those exact reasons. Why not have Savage, Spinner, and Prototype carry on the tradition, and tie off some loose ends in the process?

Shadow Takanuva: Sure, it might suck for their home universes to lose their Takanuva like this, but hey. If you have a whole army just sitting around, might as well put them to use, right? The fight could be interesting to watch too. Shadow might be the only element Marendar has no countermeasures for, since Toa of Shadow were never meant to exist. Maybe this is how it's finally beaten, after taking several alternate Takanuva down with it, of course. Besides, Melding Teridax flattened several of them already, so it's not like they were all making it home to begin with.

[larks-birdhouse]

GENLOSS FOUNDERS CUT THOUGHTS

i want to make it so so clear i don’t want to dunk on genloss. this is my braindump and i LOVED genloss. please support young creators as they grow and improve i beg of thee

im putting this under a cut because i expect it to be long 😭

❤️ - negative

💚 - positive

💙 - neutral

💚 once again reminded how much ranboo’s acting has improved since dsmp <3

💚 AND a fantastic reminder of how great the other actors are!!!! all the deaths still hurt and the security officers did SO SO GOOD

💚 i love that hetch is more evil now. hurts even more watching hetch manipulate ran even harder up to his death

💚 ranboo has survivor’s guilt :’[ god him slowly accepting it was his fault (even though it WASNT) broke me

💚❤️ i think redubbing certain parts makes sense, but for some reason it was just really obvious during niki’s intro?? it felt so jarring

💙 ngl i paused the premiere to catch the qr code. in my defence i was about half an hour behind already :’]

❤️ GOD i wish we saw more of the carousel folks. so much time spent on setting up mousetrap, so little on them. is that in of itself a commentary? genuine question i do not know

❤️ also i am so sad we didn’t see more of austin’s “hey what the fuck is happening.” there was plenty of it but i want MORE

❤️💙 and i wish there was a little more time on ethan’s fashion show simply because it is funny

💚 the play on words with austin being the straight man is still fantastic

💚 someone else pointed this out (i’m not sure who i saw it from first but i’ll find them) but hetch near exclusively calling ranboo “hero” is such a good detail. not their name, but their character

💙 i forgot about the charlie stream! but honestly i would fully believe that is something charlie would just Do

❤️ I WANT MORE SNEEGGGGGG WHERE WAS HE

💚 the ART!! the DESIGNS of the devices!! adds so much to the story and i’m so glad they were shared. such fantastic art too!!

❤️ the create-a-creature kinda came out of nowhere, i was so confused and i wish there was a bit more buildup

💙 about hetch saying they aren’t themselves anymore: how many times can the actors get tortured and brainwashed before they stop being themselves? how much of them can be taken and replaced before it stops being them? (theseus’s ranboo)

💚 I LOVED THE SQUIGGLES ANIMATIONS!!!! SO GOOD I NEED TO FIND MORE OF THE CREATOR’S WORK

❤️ i might have missed it so correct me if i’m wrong but i don’t think we had the wide shot of the hero-kill-inator or whatever and i WISH we did because it goes so hard

💚 in terms of ending changes, i loved both endings!! both so good for different reasons, and the “thank you” KILLS ME IM SO SORRY BOO I HOPE YOU CAN JOIN YOUR FRIENDS IN THE CANON AFTERLIFE

💙 actually only hell is canon. maybe heaven just Doesn’t Exist. only suffering

💚❤️ at some points i thought the gore was great and at some points i wanted MORE. all the blood seeping out from under the doors, the room they haven’t “reset” yet, the guts instead of food were all great. but i wanted more of surgery charlie’s suffering to contrast the absurdity and just generally more carnage

❤️ i also wish there was more audio gore with austin & sneeg’s deaths. the wall just kind of Stops with no indication of them being crushed and its not apparently obvious that they died

💚 gen zero preview!!! i’m so excited, wondering who will be brought in for that one

💚 hearing the echos of “just let me die” in the beginning was haunting, fantastic stuff loved it

💚 HOW DID I FORGET THE PHOTOS THAT WAS SO GOOD ARE THOSE REAL BABY RANBOO PHOTOS?? INCREDIBLE

💚 overall i quite enjoyed the founder’s cut! can’t wait to see what comes next and i’m so proud of ranboo!!

💙 what is it with media about content creator self inserts that suffer immensely with little to no comfort that draws me in so? why has this happened so many times??

[chiptaylorsfirst]

Birthday Boy

A/N: Yes, I’m celebrating James Patrick March’s birthday and I’m aware that I’m behind. Some of this was inspired by Rooms of Pleasure by @americxn. 

Word Count: 3,484

Pairing: James Patrick March x ghost!fem!Reader

Warning: Mentions of death, exhibitionism kink, pet names, oral sex (male and female receiving), smut, aftercare

Summary: You’re celebrating your husband’s birthday and you decide to be his gift.

It was James’ birthday which you always insisted on celebrating. He would always complain and explain to you how unimportant his birthdays were since the two of you were ghosts. That never stopped you from acknowledging it though. You didn’t count his birthdays after his death since he wouldn’t age but you did celebrate him. You would tell him happy birthday and give him a gift. Recently, he’d been stressed and you were in the lobby, thinking of what would be suitable enough this year. You had gone to Liz and asked her to go out to get this beautiful dress and lingerie for you. You also asked her to get a blue tailored suit. You had decided it was time to go to him. You knew he was probably already waiting.

As soon as you opened the door, you were greeted with his smooth voice. “Hello, dearest. You’re here to amuse me as always?” You nodded your head happily. “Yes I am, Mr. March.” You placed a kiss on his cheek with a smirk on your face. You never called him Mr. March except during sexual times so naturally he was aroused. “Darling, you must want something from me, hmm?” Your smile grew wider. “Quite the contrary, sweetheart. I’d like to know what you want. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’ll give it to you though.” He heard the amusement in your voice and immediately his eyes turned practically black with lust and anger. 

“I’m sure you wouldn’t like a punishment, not on this beautiful day.” He paused to think of what he wanted. The two of you always played this game with one another. You both had an unannounced rule between one another. You had to build anticipation to the highest before losing yourself and letting it break so the sex between you would be way more fun and entertaining. You needed a buildup to get your adrenaline pumping. It was the closest thing the two of you felt next to killing which is why you always had sex so much. You missed it but you could only kill once every decade. It was a strict rule that James had made and you dared not to disobey it. 

“A punishment would be very fun. Is that what you want to do, James? You wanna be rough with me and play with me like your little toy.” You both knew the answer to that question. “You know I do but for now, I’d like you to get on your knees and taste me. Come here.” You slowly walked towards him, calculating your every move. When you were finally in front of him, you placed a kiss on his cheek and dropped down to your knees before him. You watched as he stripped the upper half of his body bare. He cupped your face in his hands and tilted your chin up, looking you straight into your eyes.

“I want you to undress my lower half and then you can begin. I want you to take the most of your time that you possibly can.” You started on his trousers, doing your best to take as long as possible although you were overly eager to please the birthday man. You struggled with his trousers but as soon as they were undone, he stepped out of them and you threw it into a far corner. You were happy to see the fact that he had no underwear underneath and you were met with his cock. You looked up at him before popping the tip into your mouth and starting.

He placed one of his hands into your hair, soft moans and grunts being pulled from him. You bobbed your head up and down, keeping a slow and simple pace. You relaxed your throat, taking in a little bit more of him each time you bobbed your head.

You craved some sort of relief. Your husband's sounds and reactions were making you impatient. You did your best to focus on the task at hand, reminding yourself that the two of you had all day. There was no need to rush and you’d get what you want eventually. You make sure that your mouth did exactly what your mind wanted so that James would fully enjoy what you were doing. It came to where you were slightly deep throating him, loving the feeling of the sharp tug that he gave on your hair. “Y/N.” His breath hitched as he moaned your name repeatedly. You finally felt him start to twitch but just as he was going to cum, he pulled you off of him. “James,” you said, obviously upset. “You had your taste, darling. You’ll get the full meal later. We both will.”

You didn’t understand how he had so much control over his entire being, physical and spiritual. “I’ll be back, sweetheart. I assume you’ll be waiting.” He smiled. “Of course, darling.” You fixed your hair before walking out. You went to the bar, watching as Liz’s eyes met yours. “Here you go, sweetie. Enjoy yourself.” She handed you the exact things you had asked for. “Thank you.” You took the stairs instead of using the elevator and walked to your shared room. You unlocked the door and walked in it then softly shut it. “Hello once again.” “Hey, my lovely. I brought you your gift and I’d like you to wear it today. He analyzed the suit and its beautiful designs. He nodded as silent affirmation.

You just thought about everything. “We have so many things to do and get done. I mean, I know invitations have already been sent but--” He interrupted your sentence by kissing you. You were shocked and taken aback by how quick he was. He had patience like none other but it always was cut rather short whenever it had anything to do with you and especially right now.

The kiss was sweet and passionate with only a hint of lust. “We can wait. Right now I’m hungry for some sweet breakfast and I don’t want you spoiling my meal.” Your brain couldn’t comprehend a thing, still waking up. Before you could ask him what he meant, it was made very clear when he started to lower until he was between your legs. He hiked up your nightgown, already knowing you wore nothing under it. It was simple and it gave him easy access. The easier it was for him, the better. He peppered your thighs with kisses before diving his head in between you. You felt his soft tongue against your folds, making you instantly shiver.

“James,” your voice slightly trembled. “Hmm?” He was already starting and you knew you weren’t gonna be able to sustain this. “What about the sche-mm.” His tongue did multiple rough flicks all of a sudden. Your back arched some and your eyes closed as he continued. It never failed to impress you at how good he was at this. It was as if his own tongue was crafted for this act and this act alone. He removed himself from you to speak. “The schedule can wait. My craving for your taste cannot.” 

He continued what he had been previously doing, on a mission to make you cum. You started to tug on his hair and he moaned against you, the vibrations of his voice almost impossible to bear. You could feel him smiling against you as he continued, very well aware that you were close. You were squirming and trying your best to hold on to anything you possibly could. “James,” you moaned loudly. He was sure that everyone heard you as you came on his tongue but he didn’t care.

He cherished the taste of you on his tongue, drinking every drop you gave him. He rose up from between your thighs, a content smile on his face. “You always taste so good, darling. I could spend this eternity tasting you and I’ll never bore.” His sentence sent chills down your spine. The two of you took a shower together and were now clean. You dressed in your matching outfits, linking arms as you walked to the elevator. 

Once you were at the lounge area, you went to Liz. “Have you done your part,” your husband asked. “I sure have,” she responded. The two of you had your next stop to Ms. Evers. You didn’t look forward to it because of her obvious infatuation with your husband. However, she took good care of the hotel because of it so you found it was the only way for her to be useful. You found her washing sheets, humming delightfully. “Ms. Evers,” you said.

She turned around, slightly grimacing from the sight of you and James together, You were unbothered. You were used to it by now. “How may I be of service?” “We were checking to see if you’ve organized everything as planned.” She nodded her head. “Yes, I’ve made all of the requirements come true for you, sir.” You almost rolled your eyes at her words. 

“Good.” You walked to his office room and you let out a frustrated sigh. “What is it, dearest?” “I’m tired of Ms. Evers.” He nodded his head. “I know, darling. We’ve conferred this topic before and you said that it was tolerable.” Your mind remembered exactly what he spoke of. “She has one last time and she’s banished. We’ll have to find someone else to clean this hotel’s dirty laundry.” “Then it is settled. I will make sure if she ever upsets you again, she will never be in our presence.” 

You knew that he meant it and you knew it would be taken care of as he promised. A few hours went by and the serial killing ghosts were now here. You never really looked forward to this but you always had to attend for the simple reason that you took part in the hobby of killing while you were living. Every Devil’s Night, you’d think about the choices that made you have to come to that annual dinner and slightly regret your decisions. You didn’t know you’d have to be here. You truly didn’t mind it. You just would prefer living your afterlife without having an annual dinner.

You played with your food as you sat at the table, listening to everyone’s words and thoughts. “Darling, anything you’d like to say?” “Actually,” you thought about what you were going to say. “I’m proud of you all for conducting your crafts and arts in such distinct and individual ways. We are the future and we were artists, just unaccepted and misunderstood. A toast to the future artists who’ll carry out our work. To the future artists.” “To the future artists,” everyone repeated, clanking their glasses with yours. 

“She’s beautiful in every meaning of the word. You’re a lucky man,” Richard said to James. “I know. She has such talent and intelligence. I was enchanted by it the first time I met her.” You were happy that the conversation was going in a different direction, not that you disliked the topic from before. It was just that you loved things that were more colorful and lively. 

The conversation covered many other things then it was time for everyone to leave. You and James, being the good hosts you were thanked them once again for coming to your annual event. Once everyone was gone and you were sure, James closed the doors and locked them. He gave you a certain look that you knew all too well. “I quite enjoy the annual dinners but they are quite tiring. Wouldn’t you agree?” “Definitely. It was hard for me not to doze.”

He smiled. “The whole entire time my patience was thinning. I thought I was going to have to take you here on this table during dinner.” You walked over to him. “But you waited for me. Come unwrap your gift.” He smirked. “You come to me, dearest and I’ll do more than just unwrap you.” You walked over to him and placed his hands in yours. “You gonna do something first or must I myself?” He took both of your wrists in his hand in one swift motion, pinning you against the table, your stomach flat on it. “You don’t speak to me in that tone today as if you are in charge. Although you’re the cause, I’m always the one who delivers the effect. You understand,” he said into your ear.

“Yes, Mr.March.” “Good, Mrs. March. Don’t forget it or I’ll have to spank your pretty behind crimson.” You felt him lift up the skirt of your dress, snatching your panties off as if the apparel were offensive. He threw them onto the floor then tended to you. He started to rub your core for a few seconds before he stopped. “Why’d you stop,” you asked. “Because you’re more than ready to take me, darling. I wasn’t gonna allow myself to wait a second longer to be inside of you.” With that, he undid his pants and adjusted before sliding into your dripping heat. You both let out satisfied moans as he started a steady pace. 

In the back of your mind, you hoped that Miss Evers would catch the two of you in the act. She did once and the two of you laughed it off. You made yourself even more aroused as you thought about it. He pounded hard and deep into you, making you feel every inch of him and filling you up to the very brim. You could feel him in your stomach, constantly hitting that deep spongy spot inside of you and not daring to stop. You almost allowed yourself to forget how good it felt. “You feel mm, so good. Darling, I love you.” Each and every second of it, you were getting closer and closer.

“I love y-you too, oh fuck.” It felt too good, too perfect. Your eyes were rolling and your brain was turned into mush as your husband continuing fucking you senseless. You felt his hand wrap around your throat, providing a firm enough grip that didn’t hurt you. “I bet you wish to get caught.” “Y-yes, Mr. March.” “I knew it.” He placed a kiss on your collarbone, his breath now against the shell of your ear.

“I’m close,” you moaned out. “Hold it until I say.” You did as he asked, waiting for his permission. You both were too strung out in bliss to hear the door being opened so when you were met with Miss Evers, a loud gasp escaping her mouth, you only chuckled. “You can come back later. We’re busy,” you said casually. She let out a sigh. “The two of you lack the knowledge of how valuable cleanliness is.”You waited until the door was closed and continued.

 Anyone else probably would’ve been turned off but the shock on Ms. Evers face and the way that she caught you only fueled it. James was going particularly fast, his thrusts punctual as he fucked you. You tried hard to follow his instructions and not allow the knot in your stomach to come apart yet. “You’re doing so good for me, darling. Cum.” Your body immediately did as he asked and you trembled underneath him as you came. He made sure you came down from your high then pulled out of you. He fixed his clothing and you fixed yours. You smiled at him. “Miss Evers will be upset,” you said.

You already knew that you weren’t anywhere near finished with the rounds of the day. “I could very well care less.” You loved his carelessness when it came to you. He grabbed your hand, walking out of the room with you. “Now where are we going?” He smiled. “We’re going to the lounge. Liz and Iris should be gone by now and I know how much you love the idea of someone watching you. I knew that even before today.” You thought back to when he found it out. He must’ve read your journal whenever he was bored or something. Either that or he was very good at making inferences based on the multiple times the two of you had already had sex. You were excited and a little bit afraid as the two of you went to the lounge. Just as he said, no one was there. Nobody ever really came to the Cortez on the 31st because most of them knew the rumors of what happened. So what if it practically wasn’t true anymore. 

No one ever took a risk on Halloween. You stood at the desk, looking at James for instruction. “I’m going to sit in that chair and you are going to get on top of me. But, you’ll face forward so you can look at the windows, the cars passing by, the people walking on the sidewalks. You’re going to see it all sweetheart.” He smiled at you. “Come here.” You did as he asked, watching as he sat down. You walked over to him, already undoing his pants. You lifted up your dress then turned around, lowering yourself onto him just as he requested. 

You faced forward, slightly laying your head on the desk as you adjusted. You then started to bounce on him, facing forward and looking at all the activity on  the street.It just took one person to look through the window and see you, arms flat on the  receptionist desk, your hair messy, and your eyes rolling. You wished to see James’ face as you bounced on him. His moans and groans were enough for you as you continued, loving the feeling of his breath on your neck. You heard muttered swears from him, encouraging you even more. He barely ever cursed but when he did, it turned you on greatly especially with that accent of his. He wrapped his hand in your hair and tugged on it, tilting your face then kissing your neck. 

He placed hickies there, going towards your collarbone. You let out moans, whimpers, and sighs. You were close, very close. James could feel it from the way your warm cunt clenched around him. “James, I’m, I--.” “Go ahead, darling.” You came for a second time, almost losing feeling in your legs. You both got up, adjusting your clothes once again. James took your hand in his, taking you into the elevator. “I’m tired,” you said. “Just one more and we’re done. I promise this to you.” You nodded your head. 

You were his birthday gift and you needed to make sure he was thoroughly pleased with what you had to offer. Once you got out of the elevator, you finally realized where the two of you were going. He took you to the rooftop, a smirk on his face. “I’ve always wanted to do this but never found the one and never found the time, but you, you’re special. I can do anything anywhere with you and it always will be perfect. Lie down.” You did as he asked, watching as he started to unbutton his shirt. One of the many things that he barely did was undress. 

You knew he wasn’t anywhere near insecure.It just seemed that he enjoyed being half or fully clothed while you always remained exposed and fully bare. He threw off the shirt and his blazer into a far corner. He undid his pants, then started to finger you. His finger went deep inside of you then he slipped in another one. “Feel good, dear?” “Yes, Mr. March.” You were soaking his fingers. He let out a blissful sigh before removing them, sucking your essence off. “Your taste has always been delightful, nothing more.” He linked your fingers together, making both of your hands lay on each side of your head. He then slipped inside of you in one fluid motion, making you moan. You wanted to touch him but you knew it was a privilege for you to even see him shirtless. “Darling, do you like this dress?” He grabbed the fabric of your dress and tugged on it. “Yes, why?” You were confused. 

“My apologies.” He tore the dress off with ease, ripping the beautiful dress apart. Inside you were fuming with anger but you couldn’t do or say anything now because of how good he felt inside of you.He went slow, building up his pace a little bit faster than before. He kissed you tenderly and passionately with love. He only pulled back for air but you were already so high off of his love that you lifted your head up for more. He didn’t deny you or reject you in any way or form and he eagerly kissed you back. You didn’t have to say the three worded sentence ‘I love you’ to each other, you both already knew it. This night proved it. 

You were getting close to your release and you soon found it as James’ strokes started to get rougher. “Say my name.” That’s all you did as you came and soon he followed after you, letting your hands go and feeling your arms wrap around his shoulders. “I can’t walk,” you stated. “Okay, give me a moment.” He slipped out of you and collected his shirt and blazer, allowing you to wear his shirt. He covered some of himself by using the blazer. He picked up your body and carried you with him all the way to your shared room. 

You ended up running into Iris, Liz, and Ms. Evers. Ms. Evers let out a huff as she looked at the two of you. “I quit. I quit this godforsaken job if I have to clean up after the two of you all the time. I’m tired of it. He was supposed to be mines!” You rolled your eyes at her. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You’ll be back and I don’t care about the little temper tantrums you do. James will always be with me no matter what.” James continued your small trip as you made it to your room. He unlocked the door then closed it.

He placed your body on the bed and went away to get a wet cloth. He came back with a damp cloth in his hand. “Let me get you cleaned up.” He parted your legs just enough to clean your thighs and what was in between. He went away to clean himself then came back to you. “Happy birthday, sweetie. Hope you liked your gift.” “Oh darling, I did more than just like it. The experience was quite exhilarating. I feel that we should do that again.” “I agree.” And you did. James just couldn’t get enough of it.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

saw your yuki/kyo dissection and i was curious to know what's the other ship you think was an obvious possible option?

... after consulting @cafedanslanuit , Imma say it. For the plot. And Imma write my essay explaining my case. But y'all... don't get mad at me for being right. Strap in, this is gonna be a long one lmao.

But before I actually say it, we need to talk about Akito and Tohru and how they parallel one another.

Because these two are the same character at the opposite ends of the spectrum and 2/3 of the key aspects of Fruits Basket that make the show work. Without them, there's no Fruits Basket.

Both of them are quite literally the same character.

Masculine naming convention? Check.

Abandonment issues? Check.

A favored parent and a parent they have negative feelings towards? Check.

Especially since their respective relationships with their parents led to those abandonment issues and how they interact with the world. Akira was to Akito what Kyoko was Tohru. Ren's unnatural hatred of Akito, viewing her as a threat for Akira's attention, Akira's death and Kureno's curse suddenly breaking for no rhyme or reason led to Akito becoming the person she became.

Katsuya's death caused Kyoko to fall into a depression so deep she neglected Tohru for an indeterminable amount of time. Very nearly left Tohru to herself before coming her senses and becoming the best mom in the world that we the audience know her as. But that period of Tohru's life was very forming for who she became.

Kyoko came back after coming to her senses, we know this. But to Tohru, her mother suddenly embracing her for the first time in likely weeks, was the result of Tohru mimicking her dad's speech. A formal way of speaking that became so engrained into her daily habits, it's completely inseparable from her now.

Akito and Tohru's respective experiences ultimately lead them to the same core aspect of their character: Loneliness.

Both of them are terribly afraid of being alone, they just keep people in their lives in very different way.

Akito relied on fear, Tohru used kindness.

Akito used violence, Tohru used compassion.

Akito's go-to was embracing her father's words that she was a special child born to be loved. As such, she could do anything she wanted to the other members of the zodiac without facing any repercussions.

Tohru's go-to was her belief that her not prioritizing her mother over rest is inherently connected to her mother's death. That she should have prioritized her mother over everything. That her mother had to be her number one even in death. Thus, she became afraid of loving anything or anyone more than her mother. And yet, she still didn't want to lose anyone else in her life.

Tohru's kindness is genuine but there is a benefit she gains from it similarly yet juxtaposed to Akito's abuse.

That's why the two of them are able to come to an understanding with one another by the end of the story. Why Tohru was able to set everything else aside to start from zero because she understands that fear of being alone all too well.

They are both a mirror into what the other person could have been like if their circumstances were different. Tohru could have been that bitter, hate-filled woman, while Akito could have just as easily been the sweetest woman in the world.

Akito is Tohru

and Tohru is Akito.

All this buildup is to say that...

I think the only other obvious choice for Tohru was Shigure.

Yes, Shigure.

Y'all heard me right.

The final piece to what makes Furuba work, the one who instigated the plot in the first place.

And I'm sorry if y'all get mad at me for saying that, but I really don't think this is an incorrect assessment. I'll die on the hill that it was an obvious what if.

There's superficial things one can have fun mentioning in regards to these two ー

Across all adaptations of Furuba, Shigure is the first Sohma we are introduced to

Shigure's cursed year is the Dog, Tohru's birth year is the Dog

But the biggest thing for me is in how Tohru is an intrinsic part of something Shigure lacks as a person, that being empathy.

To make myself clear, I'm not saying Shigure is completely void of empathy. Because we can see him expressing it to the people he cares for in the story. (Ex. Wanting to go on a vacation during Golden Week so Hatori can avoid his ex's wedding.)

But for Shigure, empathy isn't something that comes easy for him. As he words it, his kindness isn't as good as the real thing someone like Hatori has. Shigure considers his kindness a hastily manufactured afterthought.

He's someone perfectly content using someone if he gets something out of it. And if he sees someone hesitating to reach for something they want, he'd rather just provoke them into action than attempt to warmly encourage them or understand where they're coming from. Because he doesn't see a point in hesitating at all and frankly, he knows comforting people like that doesn't come easy to him. So he normally opts not to.

As such, he's fascinated by the levels of empathy and kindness Tohru has. Tohru's kindness sometimes even makes him feel guilty and Shigure isn't someone who often feels guilt in the first place.

Contrast to him, Tohru is so pure that Shigure can't help acknowledging how twisted he is. In season 1/the manga's first arc, he even tells Hatori that because of that forced realization he gets every time he looks at her he thinks Tohru is too pure for him.

Compare to that to our final arc of the manga/season ー where it all eventually escalates to Shigure's quiet contemplationthat maybe he should have dreamed of Tohru.

That it's most likely that Akito wasn't the right one to dream of.

That someone as twisted as him needs someone like Tohru to balance it. To be that beacon that can lead him into being a 'normal' person.

He genuinely thinks about it in that moment as he playfully tells Tohru 「もしもの、お話し」 which is more accurately translated as "It's a what-if story".

Had Shigure dreamed of Tohru all those years ago, what would have been different?

...

But Tohru isn't who he dreamed of and this is the bed Shigure has decided to make for himself. One he has kept on the path of for years. So he lets himself think about the what ifs for a moment before ultimately deciding to keep lying in the bed he's made in hopes of the day Akito finally comes around.

But it's in Shigure's mind, and now the audience's mind, that more than likely it should have been Tohru. Tohru and what she represents is who he should have dreamed of.

You can see signs that a relationship with Tohru is something Shigure's considered even vaguely in the series even before that point though.

Sure it's passed as a joke, but when you look back at the scene with the "what if story" goggles, you can't help wondering "was it really though?"

Hell, Shigure desiring Tohru is something that even Akito feared.

She was enraged at the thought very thought of it during the Summer Vacation arc. It's what set Akito off enough to tell Tohru that she is the God of the zodiacs and they all belong to her, Shigure in particular.

Akito was already even in an agitated state before she asked Shigure if he felt anything even partially romantic towards Tohru. Why? Because she's displeased that Shigure isn't kind to her the way he used to be. That he used to only look at Akito but now he doesn't. She wants him to be kind to her again, like he was before.

And Shigure is exceptionally kind to Tohru.

Like he is very careful and considerate when he comes to Tohru which he even confesses to Mayu at one point when she tells him that he should treat her carefully. He tells her 「これでも僕にしてはめずらしいくらい大切にしてると思うんだけどね」 which can, more accurately be given a rough translation of "I think it's unusual for me, but I'm taking good care of her" or even "I think it's unusual for me to value someone this much".

And if you look back on the series, that isn't cap.

Excluding characters like Kisa, Hiro and Momiji (who isn't the same age as the other two but acts youthful enough it is easy to forget), Tohru is the only character Shigure doesn't really treat the way he does everyone else.

Shigure has no problem poking and prodding at people, even in moments where they're very clearly in emotional turmoil when he says them.

Asking Yuki what Akito told him during the Summer Vacation arc.

Telling Kyo that he is using hating Yuki as a shield for what he doesn't want to think about.

(... Telling Akito "bitch I wouldn't have cheated on you if you didn't cheat on me first" lmaooo.)

Even if at the end of the day, it is coming from his own way of caring (trying to get people to act and move forward), that doesn't change the fact Shigure can be a complete asshole. One that will say some very hurtful things to people.

And he's done it multiple times to the same people over and over again. Measuring what's the right amount of what to say to avoid or invoke a specific reaction that he does or doesn't want. Sometimes it's played for laughs, other times it is to rile someone up so badly they cannot contain their aggravation.

So it really isn't cap when he tells Mayu he does, in reality, treat Tohru very gently. For all that Shigure is capable of doing, he treats Tohru with more care than he normally gives to people. Especially considering he has no real reason to since she was a stranger to him until recently.

It takes Shigure until the final arc to do anything of his usual nature to Tohru. And when he does, he asks her if she's mad at him afterwards. It doesn't sound like much until you realize he's never done anything of that sort for any other character in the series.

Yuki. Kyo. Akito.

He'll back off. He might sigh and state it's pointless to continue a debate when he and the other person are going back and forth in circles. But he never asks to see how that other person feels because he doesn't care. Hell, he can tell if that other person is upset with him or done with his shenanigans.

And yet with Tohru, he feels compelled to ask for the first time ever.

And, of course, I can't talk about all this stuff and not mention Shigure's calm fury when Tohru fell from the cliffside. He stayed quiet for damn near 20 seconds as he processed that Akito told him that Tohru fell and we don't see his face the entire time he's processing. Then once he finally pulls himself together, he couldn't even let Akito finish her sentence when he asked if Tohru's 'fall' was a push.

We never truly get to see in Furuba, something that could set Shigure off.

But I think in that moment we get a glimpse of it. A glimpse that shows just how strongly he feels for Tohru. Because it begs the question, if Akito had pushed Tohru off that cliff, what would Shigure have done? How would he have reacted? I don't think even Shigure knew how he would have reacted.

I'm honestly morbidly curious.

That's all to say, that, "what if" story was with Shigure. Not Momiji, not Yuki. It was Shigure.

'If you didn't end up with A, you definitely would have ended up with B'. If we narrowed this down to Yuki and Tohru specifically, there's only two other characters that come close to that. If it wasn't Machi for Yuki and Kyo for Tohru ー YuKyo and ShiTohru would have been at the finish line.

If Shigure had dreamed of Tohru... or hell, what if he had dreamt of Akito but decided that that dream alone wasn't enough to keep the canine sense of loyalty he was cursed with?

There definitely would have been more than just proposals played for laughs and musings of that 'what could have been's.

Well anyway if you're curious to see my take on what it could have been like if Shigure dreamed of Tohru (complete w/ YuKyo and onesided AkiGure) do I have the story for you because I'm writing it on AO3. Read and give me comments to validate my delusions wwwwwwwwwww

[anxiety-elemental-kay]

Howl All You Want, It Won’t Bring Him Back: Further Comparisons on Agency, Grief, and Villains in Warcraft and Warframe

Guess who’s back on their bullshit!

Here’s why I’m comparing these games again: they both involve a storyline with a blue-skinned villain (with some body horror physical feature) who recently showed up in the story, torturing and mind controlling someone. Both stories touch on grief for a family member and the relationship between a father and a son. One story was the final nail in the coffin for my love of the game and the other still makes me emotional thinking about it.

This time I’ll be comparing the A plot of Shadowlands, with the Jailer and Anduin, with the quest The Sacrifice in Warframe, with Ballas and Excalibur Umbra. Again, this may simply be the species of brainworms I suffer from, but I think these two stories make for an interesting comparison, and demonstrate how I feel the Shadowlands story could have been improved.

Some brief background for anyone who needs a reminder and/or is unfamiliar with the games. I've included relevant cinematics for folks who want some additional buildup/context. Big spoilers for both games, of course.

[Video is the opening cinematic for the Warframe quest The Sacrifice. This is the first time we see Excalibur Umbra]

For Warframe I’ll be talking about the main story quest The Sacrifice It focuses primarily around the major villain Ballas, who created the titular warframes, and Excalibur Umbra, one of the first warframes Ballas created. Except unlike warframes the player is familiar with, which are lifeless puppets for the player to control, Umbra is sentient, can be partially controlled by Ballas, and is very upset about pretty much everything. The Sacrifice is about the player discovering what (and who!) Umbra is, what Ballas did to him, and how the warframes were first developed.

[Video is the reveal trailer for Warcraft patch Chains of Domination. It's the first time we see dominated!Anduin]

For Warcraft I’ll be talking about the stories of both the Jailer and Anduin in the expansion Shadowlands. The Jailer is the primary antagonist of the expansion and Anduin is an established character who’s had a major role in several previous expansions. The Shadowlands are the afterlife in the Warcraft universe, and something has broken death, which the player now needs to investigate and fix. In the first content patch the Jailer mind controls Anduin and uses him as a pawn to enact his evil plans.

Among people who've played Shadowlands, it's pretty universally (in my experience) seen as, at best, a disappointment. In some ways Ballas feels like a demonstration of how a character like the Jailer could have worked. Though these are both different games and stories, there's a core they share that I find illuminating.

From Ballas and Umbra, there are four major things we can learn to improve the Jailer’s and Anduin’s story:

Foreshadowing

This is probably the most obvious criticism: The Jailer straight up did not exist until Shadowlands was announced. We’re supposed to believe he’s behind several major events in the story? Really? This guy we’ve just heard of for the first time?

Ballas, similar to the Jailer, doesn’t make an appearance in the story until quite late. However, references to him, and people like him, are scattered through the story. I want to go over this because I think it demonstrates mechanically how this kind of foreshadowing can work in an mmo.

In Warframe’s past, humanity used to live under a single united government called the Orokin Empire, named after the immortal ruling class. Long story short the Orokin solved every problem they had in the most inhumane way possible, until karma caught up with them. The Orokin were slaughtered and their empire destroyed. In the present day story, the Orokin are a long dead memory, but their legacy lingers. Every major antagonist faction has at least some connection to the Orokin, either they were outright created by them (the Grineer, the Infested, the Sentients) or were enabled by them (the Corpus, possibly the Murmur).

Ballas specifically is only occasionally mentioned by name before the player encounters him in-person. He’s referenced as the guy who first created warframes, he was on the ruling council of the empire, and had a creepy crush on the players’ surrogate mother, but didn't save her from execution, among other things. Not a great guy.

These references to the Orokin and to Ballas are small and scattered through the story, appearing in different places. It’s possible to overlook, but I find it works as a kind of background radiation for the setting. The legacy of this evil, decadent empire is still hurting people even long after it’s fallen.

Which transitions us nicely to the second big lesson:

Personal Investment

When you finally meet Ballas in-person, in the quest Apostasy Prologue, the first thing he does is literally mind control and walk off with the Lotus, your mission control/second surrogate mother. Literally the first thing this bitch does when he first appears is orphan you for a THIRD time.

Even if you’re someone who didn’t pay much attention to the lore until this point, and have no idea who Ballas is, he’s just affected the player on a personal level. This is reflected in gameplay, the Lotus’ normal mission transmissions are replaced with an imperfect replica. It’s a constant reminder that this fucker just walked into your life and effortlessly changed it.

And that’s before he appears in The Sacrifice, where he does some more evil shit, but I’ll cover that in detail in the next section.

The point of all this is the player, the actual person sitting at the computer, now has a personal relationship to Ballas. He’s not just some historical figure or an abstract bad guy to fight, he’s directly affected the player, affected you. Regardless of what his other plans are, which are unknown at this point in the story, the player is already invested in seeing Ballas defeated. You know who this guy is and you have a reason to hate him.

As for the Jailer…

...eh?

He just kind of drops Baine? He's just standing there being Evil(tm). It's not much of a first impression. In that Maw opening we see the Jailer one more time when he shows up with his army to try to stop the player and friends from escaping, and...

...eh?

I have no reason to be afraid of this guy. He dropped a tauren from a great height. Wowee. He hasn't made any meaningful demonstrations of power or cunning at this point, has done nothing to make me want to defeat him. It's just. There he is. The Bad Guy.

The player never really gets any closer to the Jailer after this point, and as such never presents a personal threat to the player. We can encounter him one or two times later and see him in cutscenes, but we never have any kind of meaningful interaction with the guy. Aside from breaking the sky over Icecrown, which really Sylvanas did, the Jailer hasn't really even done anything to Azeroth!

I remember early in Shadowlands theorizing that the final raid would take place, at least in part, in Silithus. Maybe for Reasons the Jailer wants to claim the Worldsoul, and he plans to turn Sargeras' sword into a giant mourneblade to do it. I still think that would've been cool! It would be a way to bring the threat of the Shadowlands back to Azeroth! Tie it all together into one cohesive world!

The Jailer being such a distant threat doesn’t even work in the sense of ‘the Jailer is so big and powerful as to be entirely indifferent to the player’. That kind of terror is possible to do in a game but that’s not something Warcraft is trying to invoke here.

This is a good place to shift attention from Ballas and the Jailer to Anduin and Umbra: how do these stories of mind control differ? What makes one work while the other fails?

Disempowerment

You’re in a hospital bed. You cannot speak or move. The best you can do is turn your head, your breathing wheezing and difficult.

There’s a man sitting at your bedside, the one who put you in that hospital bed. He assures you that you will receive the best care, and they have prepared the “finest serums” to treat you. At your other side is a young man, your son, worried for you. The man who is poisoning you assures your son that you will make a full recovery. You cannot warn him of the danger.

The man invites you to play a board game. How well or how poorly you do is irrelevant. Your poisoner looks down at his nails, unbothered, almost bored. You try to scream in agony as your body changes, and your poisoner speaks directly into your mind: explaining that the serums are transforming you into a monster, a weapon of war, a miracle!

“But all miracles require sacrifice,” he says.

He is going to make you kill your son.

The memory ends and the player Tenno is back in the real world.

At several points in The Sacrifice the player experiences Umbra's memories, or more accurately, memory singular. You go from the third person to first person, seeing the world through Umbra's eyes. Ballas messed with his mind as well as his body, and we're forced to watch several scenes where Umbra is helpless to stop Ballas from doing evil shit. The player not just sees but directly experiences what Umbra did.

The hospital scenes in this quest are so impactful because you spend the rest of the game in a power fantasy. You’re an immortal space ninja with magic powers and tear through hordes of enemies on the regular! The game knew exactly how to strip that all away. The hospital scenes in The Sacrifice are gameplay. Sure a similar effect could have been achieved with a cutscene, but by still giving the player some input, the illusion of agency, it makes everything hit harder.

This is something the game has done effectively before too, had a moment where your all powerful player is pitted against something they can't fight against. It's rare, but when it happens, it makes an impression.

(Pro tip: You can jumpscare any Warframe player by whispering “Hey kiddo.”)

(If you want to know why tough luck play the game yourself.)

(Or I guess. Google it. If you hate fun.)

It’s worth noting that Warcraft does have an impactful moment of disempowerment! It’s no longer in the game but it’s still a great quest!

In the pre-expansion patch for BfA there was a quest Alliance-side where the player tries to save as many people they can inside the burning Teldrassil. The task was designed to be impossible and your character collapses before you can get anywhere near the number of people you're being asked to help. You're setup to fail in a way the game doesn't do elsewhere, and it works!

...But when we get to the storyline about domination magic, the ultimate means of disempowering someone... and we never really see it. We never feel its effects. This is why I made such a big deal about the hospital scenes in The Sacrifice being gameplay, because even though there's very little for the player to actually do, that's the point of the scene. I wish I saw Blizzard experiment more with the medium of games and interactivity as a storytelling device. It doesn't happen as often as it could.

I think back to the Jade Forest quest lines in Mists of Pandaria, where you temporarily take over the role of an NPC as they relate a story to the player. Maybe there could’ve been a similar quest where the player experiences what Anduin does under domination when he’s not out doing the Jailer’s bidding. Maybe as Anduin the player is actively punished for doing things they shouldn’t. Try to walk out the front door? Nope! The Jailer seizes control and walks you right back to the start of the mission. You could really twist the knife here too, if it demonstrates that Anduin suffers as a consequence of the player’s actions. Trying to help? WRONG you fucked up and made things worse!

Now, what’s the second half of telling a good mind control story?

Transgression

I wasn’t sure what to call this section, transgression still doesn’t feel like the right word, but I’m stumped for what else to call it. Especially when comparing these stories, and what Umbra and Anduin actually do when mind controlled.

Through The Sacrifice, the player sees more of Umbra’s memories, more of what happened when he was trapped in that hospital bed. In the final one, the player appears at the foot of Umbra’s bed, even though they were not present for this event. The player speaks gently about how Umbra has been forced to experience this same painful memory over and over, but this time there’s someone else with him to help him get through it. In the memory Ballas seizes control of Umbra’s body, and Ballas makes Umbra kill Isaah. You kill your son. Umbra does not get to escape this, even in this final moment when he isn’t alone for the first time: it’s what happened and he cannot change it. A parent kills his child.

The objective truth that Umbra was not at fault for Isaah's death is irrelevant. Ballas achieved his goal in torturing Umbra by forcing him to do this terrible thing, and Umbra was consumed with anger and grief. The player understands Umbra's pain because we experienced it along side him, felt his fear and helplessness.

By contrast, even while under mind control, Anduin never transgresses in the way Umbra does. Sure he’s helping the bad guy fulfill his big evil plan, but the whole arc lacks teeth. He doesn’t even kill the Archon when he stabs her in the above trailer! Both Umbra and Anduin are equally blameless for their actions, but Anduin’s guilt feels vague and unearned, where as Umbra’s is specific and deeply felt. Anduin is never made to do anything that would cause him personal pain or loss.

This, I think, one of the primary reasons The Sacrifice works and Shadowlands doesn’t. Like the point about Blizzard being unwilling to give Anduin flaws in the last essay, they are also unwilling to make him do something bad, even if it’s against his will. They would never, for example, force Anduin to kill a family member. The ways he supports the Jailer's plans feels vague, and even when he's forced to fight the people he cares for... I don't feel anything about it? He doesn't even really hurt them. (Also because of a bug Thrall and Bolvar stand off to one side while Jaina does all the work. The story of her whole fucking life, let me tell you.)

So at the end of the story when Anduin expresses guilt over almost killing his friends and how his hands feel unclean... why? He did no lasting damage to any of them. Anduin suffers no material loss for his time under mind control. His hair even grows back and turns back to blond when he's free from domination! There was literally no consequence for the time he was forced to serve the Jailer. As a player I can't understand why he reacts to these events the way he does. It doesn't help that they seem to change the plans for Anduin's arc partway through Shadowlands, but that's a whole other can of worms.

To wrap up, how do these two stories conclude, how do Umbra and Anduin break away from mind control?

Finding Peace

One of the footnotes in the last essay I referenced a choice the player got to make in The Sacrifice. Once the player soothes and unites with Umbra, the player is presented with three options: Wrath, Acceptance, and Emptiness.

Regardless of which you pick, this choice is about Umbra making peace with what happened to him, and the player helping him achieve it. It doesn’t erase the harm done, it doesn't bring Isaah back, but now Umbra can begin to heal.

I especially like how it gives nuance to the concept of grief and how Umbra might move on from his son's death: does he use that grief to fuel his revenge, does he let the memory go so it cannot harm him anymore, or does he embrace a feeling of emptiness and find freedom that way?

Later the player helps Umbra stab Ballas, after he boasts about how Umbra cannot defy him. Get murdered, idiot.

That’s not the end of Ballas’ story because of Shenanigans, but god damn does it feel good. I’m disappointed that Umbra doesn’t get to be a character going forward, which is a painful missed opportunity. (But I can role-play it on my personal ship! He can wander around, I got him a new guitar, and he can pet my cat whenever he wants.)

As for Anduin… um…

The power of his ghost dads help him break free? After the players have hit him on the head a bunch? I guess?

You fight raid boss Anduin, and then there's a cinematic that's entirely disconnected from anything that happened in the fight. As far as I can tell nothing the player did had a material affect on Anduin’s ability to resist the Jailer. Did the player even need to be there? I don't know!

Anduin's story ends with him failing to make peace with what happened to him, and that's a good ending for him! It's a great setup for possible future story arcs for him! That said nothing about his emotional state or character development had any play in him breaking out of mind control, and the moment lost a lot of punch as a result.

To wrap up this essay...

Last time I referenced a monologue by Ballas in The Sacrifice, and included a quote. Here’s the speech in its entirety, which I’m including because 1) I love it to pieces and 2) it’s a great demonstration of Ballas’ character.

“— We had created monsters we couldn’t control. We drugged them, tortured them, eviscerated them… We brutalized their minds… but it did not work.

Until they came.

And it was not their force of will — not their Void devilry — not their alien darkness. It was something else. It was that somehow, from within the derelict-horror, they had learned a way to see inside an ugly, broken thing —

— and take away its pain.”

This is a perfect summary of why Ballas is a villain, why the players are meant to oppose him. He genuinely and literally, cannot understand the concept of empathy, of understanding someone else as a person. He cannot understand why the player Tenno’s effort to see Umbra as a someone who is suffering, and to give him comfort, achieved what Ballas never could with his cruelty and violence. This is all because he was the beneficiary of empire, at the very top of the highest pyramid, he's vain and petty and greedy, and there's nothing inside him capable of self-reflection or remorse.

The narrative doesn’t seek to justify Ballas’ behavior, or even go over the top in condemning it. It shows you the horrific things Ballas is capable of, and assumes the player can draw their own conclusions.

At the end of Shadowlands it tries to retroactively make the Jailer into a sympathetic (maybe tragic?) character by implying he was trying to protect the universe from some greater threat. But. Okay. Literally nothing before that point even implied such a motivation. He was just Evil McBadguy until now, and only when the players have literally killed him are the developers making a shred of effort to give the Jailer some kind of motivation or arc?

The Jailer isn’t even a character in his own right. Yeah he’s upset about being imprisoned, feels it was unjust, and wants to dominate the whole universe, okay, but… that’s it? That’s the skeleton of a character. He’s not even a fun skeleton! I get he's the bad guy because he wants to take over the world, but why? Why was that the choice he made? What need would that satisfy? What kind of person is he? What's his place in the universe and how did that affect his choices?

The Jailer could be replaced entirely with an especially malicious toaster and the plot would be the same.

I don't have a witty ending for this essay. Just. Dang. Shadowlands was such a missed opportunity.