#my own mother can you believe it

[izupie]

Finally got back to a Writers Retreat today!!

First one since covid - so it's been a lonnnnng time

I've been doing them online from time to time, but it's just not the same as sitting in a room with a bunch of other writers tapping away on your keyboards and being big nerds together

So much fun

Today there were a few people I didn't recognise, and two of them were these really snooty book snob types (they both got along great) so at lunch they were having this back and forth peacocking over who was the better read between them and talking about their favourite books (pretentiously)

And I was sat near them like Oh dear god

I had to bite my tongue to stop from laughing because they were just so over the top I couldn't believe they were real

Anyway, I was telling this story to my mum on the phone tonight and she replied back "can you imagine their reaction if you'd told them your favourite books are all fanfiction" (affectionately)

And I have never felt so seen because I mean, she's not wrong, but also hEY

[sysig]

Gotta sweep up all this Dust (Patreon)

[teawizard]

Okaaaay! 'Week 2' of @encanto-extended-edition event!

Relationships...... (warning: a lot of words, I feel like I am coming up with the stuff on the go, but some pictures too! So please at least have a look at them!)

I am slowly reimagining Daniela's whole narrative and I want to focus on her having the time of her life :)

So, I thought that making her a part of a small chaotic friend group would be fun!

Daniela (left) and Dioselina (middle) are close neighbours, really old childhood friends and are really passionate about art, acting out their favourite books, etc. Bruno joins the group later.

Dioselina

Dioselina is a really huge support for Daniela. She lives on a farm and is used to manual labour from when she was little. Due to an accident, she loses her right arm but is still insistent on helping her parents and siblings. She is kind of stoic and brave, sociable and very confident. Dioselina is like a 'straight one' of the group, the voice of reason. She is more inclined to music than other art, but because she lost her right arm, she is not capable of playing musical instruments and is left (😉) with singing which she does really well.

Her deal with Daniela is that Daniela is 'the creative and crazy one'. As they are close friends, Daniela is comfortable to be her curious and impulsive self around Selina. They really enjoy talking with each other, they have the same sense of humour. And Selina keeps Daniela out of trouble :)

Bruno

Bruno is introduced to Daniela by Dioselina. One day Selina went to him for a vision, than he almost had a breakdown because it was the third vision that had to do with the agriculture that day. Selina felt sorry for him and asked about the familiar book she'd seen on the shelf when she'd entered the room. They talked a bit and she left. She starts to visit him, they talk about the book and they get close really fast.

Bruno isn't really shy at this age. He is adventurous and gets really irritated that he has to do visions for everyone everyday (because they are good visions mostly). He has some friends at school, but most of them think he is weird, because he can infodump about books or future for hours and has no filter, so he sometimes says a lot of disturbing shit. His sisters love him and defend him against bullies, but they have too much responsibility. They skip school a lot and don't really share his interests.

So, when he meets the girls, he is over the moon. They share his interests, they listen to his rambles and come up with scenarios even crazier than he saw in the future 'movies' (whatever that means) and they don't 'censor' him. Of course, it takes time for Daniela to warm up to him, but she does eventually.

The group

As a group they are a menace really. Bruno is usually the one that initiates 'the troubles', Daniela supports him and makes it more unhinged and Dioselina is here to look at those idiots fail and then help them.

At first, they try to prevent Bruno's visions from coming true. As an experiment they try to not let old Señora Sevanna's favourite apple tree fall but they unknowingly trigger said vision and end up in trouble.

As Bruno is overly righteous, after some not good people asking for his vision, he asks the girls multiple times to help him take revenge. Daniela usually gets really agitated and they come up with a thousand plans to kill the guy, but Dioselina reasons with them and they instead steal his chicken or trick him into thinking his barn is haunted.

Also, I thought, one time, they try to make Bruno more popular. They fake some of his visions, Dioselina gossips around town that she had heard only good things from him, because his limit of good news is one vision a day, but it ends in the whole town standing in line and fighting to get Bruno's vision first.

With time they become less interested in the shenanigans. They gossip about their respective sisters and brothers, their friends from school, discuss their future. Daniela is the one that brings up 'adult stuff' on the group meetings. She hangs out with her brother and sister's friends sometimes and also found a dirty book in her siblings' room, though she doesn't know who it belongs to.

SO being high on the hormones and her mother disapproving her friendship with Bruno, they start a relationship, which ends fast. They aren't exactly ready for marriage (they are 16 and 18 come on), and Daniela doesn't want even to kiss Bruno. They decide to be friends, but after a year or two he falls in love with her and is low key miserable.

(a first version of their group 'photo' in their 20-ies)

(a second one, which is accidentally a Modern AU and look! they wear each other's colors!)

Okay, when they are 20-ish they still hang out. They love playing little pranks, but generally they have their own struggles and really miss hanging out every day.

Bruno gives more bad visions with time and becomes more of a recluse. He still goes to town, sometimes they meet with Dioselina, he visits Daniela's workplaces (sometimes accidentally, sometimes on purpose). The girls are worried about him and try to cheer him up. In public spaces he is shunned and Bruno is very uncomfortable, even more when Daniela is almost screaming at people for being jerks and Dioselina tries to shut her up. In private Dioselina and Daniela end up having conversations that Bruno can't contribute to and he gets frustrated and leaves. The girls try to make things better by making the town not that feared of Bruno again, but fail. Bruno is hurt that he is a-

Oh no, it is sad again. Soooo, let's end here, before it becomes worse :)

[caeslxys]

gonna be real I don't get the takes saying Imogen's comment about Ludinus' view of the gods is out of left field or otherwise out of character for her. Personally I don't know how anyone didn't see this coming for her character from a mile away.

like, imogen temult? whose life was taken from her and twisted into something so miserable that before she met laudna she wasn't sure how to go on? imogen temult? who found that her mother was alive and left her because of the same powers that ruined her life to begin with? imogen temult, whose best friend is someone she was only allowed to meet to begin with because she was brutally tortured and murdered for display and wandered the world for 28 lonely years until she wound up in gelvaan? imogen temult, who watched fcg attribute the coin flip that took her best friend from her to the divine? imogen temult, who just learned that the person who killed her is working with her mother?

what in her entire life would have led her to feel anything but, at best, apathy towards the gods. she's probably been toeing the line of active disdain for divinity for longer than even she realized.

"they made some good points" isn't her agreeing with ludinus or falling for his pyramid scheme or whatever else. she isn't suddenly agreeing with the man who appears to want—to our and the players current understanding—to unleash a second calamity level event. she was specifically speaking to the effectiveness of their pantheon, of which she has been given every single reason to question.

the wildmother isn't leaving her magic imbued swords and backing winds. she doesn't have a coin to flip and leave her decisions up to some elevated being. she has her mother, who left her, and a god-eater trapped on the moon haunting her. given the entirety of her life, is it really so shocking that she is so ready to question the divine? even if it was a question presented from the antagonist?

[j-esbian]

sometimes i really do want to study the flavor of intense misogyny from older folks, especially when it comes from older women, that assumes all women and girls are sluts and deviants because (checks notes) fashion trends, which the individual consumer has no control over, means that most people’s only options, especially in summer, are to wear somewhat revealing clothing. because it’s hot.

[anthromimicry]

okay, but i think it is about time to talk about one of misao's fears is, because i believe that they can tell you a lot about a character and their psyche — and i came to tell y'all that the one i'm going to be talking about today is that misao fears becoming a mother / motherhood. the first reason in which why i believe this is because misao just genuinely thinks that she is not the nurturing type and that she would likely be a terrible parent to her child ( which i know is a very depressing thing to think about. but it is something that she has feared for a long time, unfortunately. ) this likely stems from a mix of misao's inability to deal with her own emotions, though, as she feels like it's better to just bottle them up and deal with them all on her own rather than the alternative. and this would be to try to confide in someone and/or get help from them should she need it. so, misao feels as if her child were to come to her needing emotional support from her, she would absolutely fail at it and the last thing she wants is to emotionally neglect someone the way she had been as a child ( p.s. of course, this was mostly just borne out of unfortunate circumstances, as i've stated before because of kaiyah's illness. though this hasn't stopped misao from feeling the brunt of the impact that it had on her. )

plus... i feel as if misao also doesn't have a lot of confidence in herself whenever it comes to the concept of always being able to put a child first, as she has a pretty negative self-image of herself deep down if i'm being honest. she sees herself as an extremely selfish person who can't even become friends with one person because she is so afraid that someone will hurt her, and in her opinion, that makes her pathetic or weak. so she doesn't feel like she'd be able to take care of a child with the amount of responsibility that is required to in order to raise them properly and protect them at the same time.

though this isn't necessarily true as misao has put up those barriers that would normally let people into her heart mostly due to trauma, and having experienced trauma doesn't make anyone weak. i just feel as if she desperately needs to remedy her self-image because it is very damaging to think of yourself like that and it would be really good for her emotional health if she were to try to ways to better cope with everything that she's experienced throughout her life. there are other reasons as well behind why misao fears motherhood while i'm talking about it, however, and these are arguably one of the more bigger ones: the act of giving birth itself and suddenly being thrust into having to not just take care of yourself, but the baby inside of you as well. which sort of makes sense whenever you connect the dots as to how many horror stories misao has heard about delivering a baby and also how much a person's experience while being pregnant can vary from others. i mean, it has been shown that some people may have more morning sickness than others and that they just don't have a very good experience with being pregnant in general, for example. but other's may be 'glowing' as they say and may find it easier to deal with.

so, you never really know what kind of pregnancy you're going to have until you actually become 'with child' as misao would call it. and the unknown aspect surrounding it scares misao more than anything. plus, as it stands now, she isn't sure whether she'd want to go through the process of giving birth as there can be a lot of complications regarding it. but there can also be so many good things about inviting a new member of the family into your home and misao feels as if it is kind of expected of her to have children so she can continue the kanade line.

but misao is just so afraid of it for these reasons that she can not see herself as a mother, even in her head. however... there is the matter of adoption that she has yet to take into account, but with how focused the jorōgumo are about having biological children, i feel as if misao hasn't even considered it to be an option for those who are afraid of giving birth and also to give a baby / child a loving home as everyone deserves one of those. but yeah. i hope that this gave y'all a little more insight into her character, as misao is scared of re-enacting her past in a way, though i feel as if you become a mother yourself... you have to separate what will be your own experience of parenthood from your parents. so, in order to overcome this fear she has, misao would have to treat it as an entirely different thing from kaiyah's experience as a mother and her own child self's experience of her as a mother.

and this is definitely possible. it would just take some work, as overcoming any kind of fear would. plus, i feel as if misao were to accept other people's help it would also benefit her, since discussing motherhood / plunging into the topic of the sometimes seemingly scary thing that is parenthood is definitely not something that you have to try to go through alone.

[vulpinesaint]

thank god i have realized that i can Post On Tumblr (make insane little personal posts whenever i want) since the last time i picked up paradise lost. the girlies in the gc were not very receptive to my screaming over milton's descriptions of satan and of hell but i know in my heart that the tumblrinas will come through for me

[blujayonthewing]

reflecting on how all of my other DMs have gone above and beyond to lovingly weave my and my friends' backstory elements into the larger worldbuilding of the campaign by contrast to all of the ways Elyss' DM has gone out of his way to suppress or excise any influences her family may have ever had on anything and I'm genuinely near tears over it

[bonesrbleaching]

had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

[hraishin]

Boruto's biggest sin as an anime/manga was not showing us the talk between Orochimaru and Naruto when Orochimaru asked him to take Mitsuki as a Konoha shinobi . that shit must've been hilarious

[ectoplasmer]

in the middle of reading the new wind excerpt and god. oh my god. someone sedate me

[kidfoundonstreets]

mom may possibly take technology away again so watch out for that.

[widevibratobitch]

need to reread dorian gray... basil hallward my beautiful faggot girlfriend i miss you so much

[urostakako]

my mom is the best person in this household and she is the best person in this whole fucking family and im sick of people acting like its otherwise

[valerieismss]

I’m not sure if my inane ability to make miis extremely accurate to their real world counterparts contradicts or is a result of my prosopagnosia

[vole-mon-amour]

In all fairness, if people that I called friends and trusted to be by my side plotted behind my back and then betrayed me by 1) trying to kill me the first time (moxxi, i swear to god—) 2) when that didn't work, semi trying to kill or at least injure me by punching an entire vault relic into my face so hard that it left a burning scar and only one seeing eye, I, too, probably would call them bandits and want revenge. Lilith got it easy with the collar Jack made her wear for, like, one hour at worst.