#my own mother talks to one of my highschool friends than she does me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kasagia · 1 year

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Hi there! Could you do an imagine where the reader is elenas younger sister and she used to date stefan in highschool( instead of stefan and elena) but after klaus arrives to town her and klaus fall in love despite elena and the mystic falls gang being absolutely upset with for being so and try to warn her about klaus and she doesnt listen and ends up moving to new orleans with klaus and leaves a heartbroken stefan whos still in love with her and a very dissappoitned friend group but after she goes to new orleans she realises that everyone was right and that klaus was very toxic and possesive over her and she regrets moving and doesnt really know what to do(you could write about what she does next if you can)

Sorry,if this was too long and thank you

Together(doesn't feel right at all)

Pairing: Klaus Mikaelson x Gilbert!reader, past!Stefan Salvatore x Gilbert!reader Summary: After you dump your boyfriend, Stefan Salvatore, for the big bad wolf, Klaus Mikaelson, and move to New Orleans with him, you start to realize his toxic, possessive behavior towards you. But is there still enough time to leave the devil who seduced you and go back to your normal life? Warning(s): toxic and possesive behaviour, angst, escape, curses, unhealthy relationships, panic attack, maybe dark!Klaus but idk - this man could kidnap me and I would thank him, so... Word Count: 5,3k+

Something just isn't right I can feel it inside The truth isn't far behind me You can't deny

In hindsight, you should have known better.

Everyone warned you against him. Your sister Elena, your ex-boyfriend Stefan, Demon, Bonnie, Caroline, Katherine, even his own siblings.

But no, you knew better. You could change him, you saw him as a good man who might be harsh to others but would never dare to do you any harm. A man who would care for you until his last breath. Who would never intentionally make you feel insecure or uncomfortable. Which will never make you fearful or anxious.

But now, as you sit on his bed in his bedroom in New Orleans after he locked you here last night when you threatened to leave him and that damn city in a fit of anger, you feel like he might have crossed this line with you a very long time ago.

You couldn't deny that the truth wasn't far behind you.

But it was too embarrassing to face the fact that you voluntarily abandoned Stefan—your sweet, always supportive boyfriend—for this devil in disguise who seduced you with his pretty words.

Your mother may have been right to say that Satan no longer wears horns and a tail. He had beautiful blonde curls and captivating blue eyes glued to a perfect face.

And that's what Klaus was like from the beginning. Too perfect. From your first meeting, he was your (in this case, black) knight in shining armor. Always gallant, always tactful, always charming.

Your Mr. Right.

"I love you Y/N. No one can love you as much as I do. Not even your sweet Stefan."

"We belong to each other. Our souls have been connected since the beginning of the world and I can only thank this higher power that I finally found you on my way."

"Run away with me, love. Run away from this rotten town and your friends, who are jealous of our love, to the place, where we can be together and don't bother about others opinions."

"I promise you love. I will treat you like a queen. You will lack nothing, everyone will be at your beck and call, my beautiful human, whom I love more than my own life."

Yeah… you should know better than to believe those whispered promises of the devil kissing every inch of your flesh.

When I turn the lights out When I close my eyes Reality overcomes me I'm living a lie

But it was a beautiful lie he made up; you had to give it to him.

The most powerful man in the world, hopelessly in love with you - an ordinary human, the doppelgänger's sister.

Staring emotionlessly into the mirror of the dark room, you began to wonder how you got into your current situation.

"Klaus. We need to talk."

I announced as I entered his art studio. The man was painting his latest painting - New Orleans spread out at his feet. I stopped being his muse a long time ago. Now this city was his enemy, best friend, and lover. And I became his favorite toy, the thing he was used to having. I had to face the truth and escape the possessive hybrid while there was still time.

"Later, love. I'll finish in a moment and come to our bed."

"This is what we need to talk about."

"Our bed?" he asked, annoyed by my presence. "What's wrong with it? I just replaced it yesterday."

"I want to move out of here." my confident, firm statement effectively snapped him out of his painting trance. He put down his supplies and gave me his full attention for the first time in two weeks.

"What?"

"We're not good to each other. I think it will be better..."

"You're joking, right? Love, you can't live without me." he interrupted me, laughing amusedly as if I had told him a funny, stupid joke.

"Well, over the last few months, I've proven that I'm doing great. Besides, I don't remember you holding my hand before I turned seventeen. I don't need care, Klaus."

"A few months? I was right next to you all this time; are you hallucinating, love?" his feigned concern, laced with a clear desire to unnerve me, almost worked. But I'd replayed that moment too many times in my head to succumb to his games so quickly.

"Do not make fun of me. I'm serious. I've had enough, Klaus. Your condescending behavior, your sudden outbursts of jealousy, and the slow erosion of my independence. You think I didn't notice how suddenly my credit card and my car keys disappeared? Or how suddenly every man or woman, after talking to me, magically ends up in the hospital? Are you going to punish your siblings too for talking to me?"

"It's all up to you, love. You can start acting like a good girl again, or I'm going to get a little... nastier."

"Nastier? Could you be even nastier than you already are?"

"Be careful, love. I'm not the one of us with mortal siblings that could be killed at any time."

"Are you threatening me with the deaths of my own siblings? Where is your fucking border, Niklaus?! Look at us! This is toxic, we're in a toxic relationship! You promised me that you would never, ever treat me like one of your enemies, like a fucking impostor, but that's all you're doing since these damn three months we've been here! I'm not going to be part of your plan or play your fucking toy anymore. This is ending right here. I am leaving, and I do not want to see you again."

As you might have guessed, you hadn't even taken a step out of his studio. He pressed some liquid-soaked cloth over your mouth and nose, and you passed out in his arms. Now you are here, locked in his room, which you once thought was yours too, and waiting for the hybrid's decision. What you wouldn't give to hear Elena's or Stefan's calm voice right now.

When I'm alone I Feel so much better And when I'm around you I don't feel together

"Oh! Hi, sweetheart." Klaus' sudden arrival in the living room startled me. The man stared at me wordlessly, watching my every move carefully. Still, I smiled at the oddly behaving hybrid and tried to talk to him. Apparently, something must have been bothering him since he has been so… different lately. Maybe today I'll be lucky. "How was your day? You disappeared from our bed earlier; I didn't even get a chance to say hello to…" the shattering of glass against the wall dangerously close to where I was standing effectively silenced me.

"DON'T LIE TO ME! I saw you with Marcel in the pub earlier. If you missed me so much, what the hell were you doing with him?!"

"Klaus. Please, try to calm..."

"Don't even try to calm me down! You're cheating on me with this lesser vampire?! While I'm tearing my veins out to keep your mortal ass alive every damn day?!"

"I DON'T KNOW what you have seen, but if you stay a little longer and listen to us, you will know I was talking about you. I'm worried about you; you act completely different than when we were in Mystic Falls."

"You don't even realize how incorrect this comparison is." he laughed at me, turning his back on me to walk over to his minibar and pour himself a drink.

"Sweetie, maybe it would be better for us, if we took a short vacation? Just you, me, and some nice place. What do you think? We can even go back to Mystic Falls." I tried to ignore his furious provocation and smooth things over.

"So you could see your Stefan?" he said it bitterly, drinking a whole glass of bourbon at once..

"What?" I turned to stare at the angry, jealous hybrid in disbelief.

"Never mind. It's a ridiculous idea anyway. I have to stay here and finish things. I can't just take breaks. Do you know how many enemies I have here against me and how hard I have to work to keep my family and you safe? Knowing your girlfriend is a slut who throws herself at any man she comes across doesn't help at all." that's it. I had officially had enough of his condescending, humiliating behavior.

"You know, you might be right. I was slutty whore enough to get into your fucking bed." I growled furiously, trying to get out of the room and away from his overpowering presence. However, the original wouldn't let me have the last word. He grabbed my elbow in a firm, bruising grip.

"Stop acting like that or…"

"Or what?! What did you gonna do?! I'M ALREADY IN HELL! Killing me would only be a favor on your part."

Suddenly, he pulled me to him, so I crashed into his chest. He wrapped his arm around me in a tight hug, not letting me move an inch from him, and with a tenderness that was surprising for me at this moment, he ruffled the stray strands of hair that fell over my eyes in the heat of our argument.

"Who said I would get rid of the most valuable thing in my life? No, love. You will never run away from me. You sealed your bloody fate the moment those alluring, pretty lips smiled at me in challenge." he came towards me, with each step he took towards me, he forced me to back up until I bumped into the wall. "You're mine. And no one, not even you, can change that now." he said, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look into his eyes.

"Fuck you."

"You want? I didn't know you were into make-up sex, love. I would have used it a long time ago." his devilish smirk used to make my heart flutter; now I couldn't feel anything but revulsion.

It doesn't feel right at all Together Together we've built a wall Together Holding hands we'll fall Hands we'll fall

"Y/N?" Rebekah's whisper snapped you out of your thoughts about your toxic relationship with her brother. "Are you there?" you frowned as you walked over to the door and put your ear to the cold wood.

"Bekah?" after a while, the crunch of metal could be heard in the quiet mansion, and the door to your makeshift cell was opened.

The blonde's sympathetic gaze sent chills down your spine, and the reason you've been so persistent in avoiding Klaus's siblings as well as him was instantly reminded of you. All those sad and anxious looks made you sick to your stomach. You preferred to indulge in beautiful, dead silence in a corner of the house than to be in the same room with any of them. At least no one treated you like a victim.

"Y/N. Come. We need to hurry up. I don't know how much time we have left." she took your hand carefully and gently dragged you to the porch in front of the house.

"Rebekah, what are you doing?" you asked and pulled your hand from her gentle embrace.

"I'm rescuing you from my brother. He completely went mad after your argument. He's more paranoid than usual, and believe me, it's only a matter of time before he goes back to his maniac state. You're not ready to deal with this. You're just a human; you can't protect yourself from him anymore. Elijah thought maybe you'd be his anchor and help keep him normal, but this has gone too far, and I'm not going to watch what he does to you anymore. So I'm giving you a chance to leave."

"This isn't just about me. I can see it in your eyes. He did something to you, and you want to get revenge on him; make him pay for it. I want to know what he did."

"He's holding Marcel somewhere. I can't let my brother kill him before I get to him, so I'll focus his attention on something else."

"On my escape."

"Exactly."

"This won't work, Rebekah. If Klaus has a plan, sooner or later he will carry it out. He will not be stopped by the loss of some simple mortal."

"I know something about my brother, Y/N. Maybe he's now in his imperious mood and wants to take control over this city, but he loves you. In his crazy way, he cares about you. Not because he claimed you as his, but because he has some feelings for you that he may not understand clearly. I've never seen him like this before with any woman. But he is Niklaus after all. His hunger for power is greater than anything else." the blonde stopped, noticing something over your shoulder. She sighed with relief. You turned to see a black car pulling into the driveway. "Finally."

"Who is that?"

"You will see. You will be happy." she handed you a bag that was waiting outside the front door and led you to the parked car. After a while, the only person you wanted to be with you ran out of it.

"Lena?"

"Y/N!" the brunette screamed, throwing herself on your neck and hugging you tightly. "I missed you so much." you suddenly felt someone take the weight off your bag. You pulled away from your sister to look at Stefan Salvatore himself. Someone you least expected to be your savior.

"Thank you, Rebekah. We'll be fine from here."

"Take care of her!"

"We will. Get to the car, ladies. We have a long road ahead of us."

Without a single word of explanation, Elena grabbed your hand and dragged you into the backseat, positioning herself so she could hug you from behind and comb your hair. You sighed, grateful for a little peace and comfort from her reassuring touch.

Stefan threw your bag into the front seat and started the car, leaving this damn city as fast as he could.

To your great relief, none of them gave you sympathetic looks or words of comfort. You drove in a pleasant silence, punctuated by the sound of the engine running as Stefan gave it more throttle. You thought you were going to get dizzy from how quickly you dodged the burning lampposts, the light of which was pouring in and out of the car window like you were at a disco.

You just couldn't shake one lingering thought from your mind that had been nagging you ever since Elena had shoved you into the car with a pleased, malicious smile from Rebekah.

Will Klaus be okay?

This has gone on so long I realize that I need Something good to rely on Something for me

As it turned out, Stefan drove you to your parents' old summer house near the mountains. You were glad that they chose this place as your hiding place. You've always hated it, but at least your forced stay won't destroy any of your childhood memories.

And judging by Elena's amused smirk when she saw your grimace, you guessed that her choice of location wasn't so accidental.

Your bodyguard (that's what you've called Stefan since you arrived) and your sister have been living here for two weeks now. You haven't had a single message from Klaus during this time. Nothing. No threatening text messages, no drunken, desperate voicemails begging for your return, or at least one goddamn call. Nothing. Totally. You were more worried about his silence than if he was bombarding you with a thousand messages. You wondered how much of that was deliberate to scare you, and how much of it was possible that his sister had finally finished him off.

You shuddered at the thought that he might be dead.

"Are you cold?" Stefan's question was the only prejudice on his part until he threw the blanket over your shoulders. "It's not the time of year to think on the balcony at night, would you agree?"

"Maybe. But sometimes we do stupid things. Probably too much in my case." you tried to make a joke, but you met his worried look instead. "Come on. It was funny."

"That he used you and mentally abused you? You have a messed-up sense of humor."

"He didn't abuse me. He was just…"

"He treated you like a favorite toy, gradually restricting your access to the world and making you feel like you couldn't live without him. If you call it caring, you're going to go to New Orleans and rip out his cold heart, if only he has one."

"Don't talk like that. You know he would kill you before you even reached him."

"You sound like you still have feelings for him even after he tricked you into loving him and locked you in the gilded cage of New Orleans."

"Don't sound so offended. It's none of your business what I feel for him. I'm not your girlfriend, Stefan."

"No. But you used to be my princess." he replied bitterly.

"And yet, I truly wanted to be his queen. He didn't trick or fool me into loving him, Stefan. Everything I felt for him was real. I know this seems silly and naive to all of you, but… you didn't see him as he was when it was just the two of us. You didn't see the gaze he gave me every time he looked at me. He was so charming, loving, and caring, and with him I felt… free. Not for as long as we can see, but still. I felt like he was the only one for me."

"You can still come back to me. I never stopped loving you, Y/N. Not even a little bit. This nightmare can end right now. Just say a word."

"Stefan, you know I'll always love you." you began, taking his hand and looking into his eyes, feeling guilty for his hopeful look. "But I'm not in love with you anymore, and I don't know if I could be ever again. I'm so sorry, Stefan, but you deserve someone better than me. Someone who'll love you and adore you, who'll be a princess for your prince charming."

"I don't know if I'll ever find someone else I can love as much as you."

"Believe me, you'll find. One day on your way will appear some beautiful, less fucked up girl who will give the world to you, but… it won't be me, Stefan."

"How can you, after everything he's done to you, still care about him?"

"He's half of me, Stef. My worse half, I have to admit, but I can imagine myself with someone else. And maybe I'm stupid and blind and have too much hope in him, but I know that there is good in him. Maybe I can't reach him, but someday someone will. And everyone will see the man I fall in love with. Not his bad, terryfing a shell he created to protect a broken boy inside him." he leaned towards you placing a tender kiss on your forehead.

"I'm afraid you might not live to see that day, Y/N." he whispered, leaving me alone with my thoughts on the balcony.

You sighed, closing your eyes and feeling a single tear roll down your cheek. It would be so much easier to love Stefan than Klaus.

When I'm around you When I'm around you I don't feel together I don't feel together When I'm around you When I'm around you I don't feel together, no I don't feel together

"My sister is going to be so mad at me." I groaned, turning in his arms to bury my face in his pillow.

"Well. I wish your sister wasn't the first thought that comes to your mind after our first hot, long night together, but I can live with that as long as I have you in my bed."

"Don't make fun of me!" I tapped him on the arm, smiling as I heard his beautiful, carefree laugh. "This is a serious situation, Miakelson. If she knew I slept with you the same day I broke up with her boyfriend's brother, she'd gouge my eyes out."

"I think they were well aware of the tension between us. Beyond me is how you managed to stay faithful to him and not succumb to my charms earlier. You resisted bravely, love."

"What can I say? You followed me around until you finally begged. In hindsight, I should have let you chase me a little longer."

"So you like it when I beg? Should I get down on my knees then, for my queen, and beg her to let me please her again?"

"Insatiable bastard."

"Only for the touch and affection of my queen." I pulled away from him with a mischievous smirk, watching his face contort in feigned horror as his eyes still shone with pure amusement and happiness. "Oh, no... I know that smile. What did my cruel queen has in mind?"

"So, can I officially call you my boyfriend?" he groaned in embarrassment, pulling away from me and covering his face with a pillow.

I laughed as I climbed on top of him and removed the pillow from his face. I lay down on top of him, resting my chin on his chest, close to his collarbones. We stared at each other for a moment, completely infatuated with each other. After a while, Klaus reached out his hand and brushed my hair behind my ear. His hand slid from my cheek, over my shoulder, arm, and hand, until he stopped, playing with my fingers. He kissed each of my fingers before suddenly slipping something onto my ring finger.

I pulled my hand out of his grip, examining the new simple gold ring on my finger.

"Don't worry. It's not what you think. I'm not going to propose to you with some ordinary ring. You can trust me to go all the way, then."

"So what is it?"

"There were no such illogical, unstable phrases as boyfriend or girlfriend in my day. If two people liked each other, they usually courted each other. I believe in your day it's called a promise ring."

"Aside from the fact that you almost proposed to me, or at least declared your intentions to do so, and did one of the sweetest things in the world, are you implying that those looks and gifts and all that romantic talk and gestures weren't courtship?"

"Of course not. It was meant to arouse your love for me. Now I can confidently declare my feelings and devotion."

"As if you were holding yourself back or feeling insecure in any way."

"Was I too…"

"A little" I cut him off before he could finish. "But that's one of the reasons I felt for you. Now, kiss me and delight your queen, as you said earlier."

"As you wish, my love." he murmured, kissing me with all his fervor.

You woke up, looking around the room in disappointment. You've had these dreams ever since you left New Orleans. Flashbacks to those good times, when your self-interest was untainted by his problems and manipulations. When butterflies appeared in your stomach every time your skin touched.

You read in some stupid teenage magazine that it's safer to choose the boy who doesn't make you feel butterflies in your stomach. This one would keep you safe. However, knowing what awaits you as Klaus' girlfriend in New Orleans, would you change your decision? Probably not. Would you change your behavior? Definitely yes. You would never let him have that kind of control over you a second time.

You jumped out of bed abruptly as you felt nausea approaching for the fourth time this week. As you leaned over the toilet, you felt someone hold your hair and stroke your back. You relaxed, sensing Elena's presence behind you. When you finished and started brushing your teeth to get rid of that awful taste, you caught your sister's worried look in the mirror.

"What?" you asked, spitting toothpaste into the sink.

"Y/N, I don't think we can avoid this topic any longer." she sighed as she walked over to the bathroom cabinet and took out a rectangular package. She threw it in your direction. You frowned as you recognized what was currently in your hands.

"Are you crazy? Pregnancy test? Like, how could I be pregnant by a vampire?"

"Just do it for me. Please." she asked, looking at you with her most adorable pleading eyes.

"You're going crazy in your old age, but okay. I will grant your stupid request. But get out. I'm not going to pee in front of you."

My heart is broken I'm lying here My thoughts are choking on you my dear On you my dear On you my dear

Elena was right… you were pregnant.

You stared in disbelief at the positive pregnancy test, wondering how this could have happened.

Klaus was a vampire, so it was impossible for him to get you pregnant, but you stood in the bathroom crying over the positive test you had, at one point throwing it down the sink in panic.

Even if you were somehow magically pregnant with Klaus, this couldn't be happening right now. Not while you and he were standing on shaky ground in your relationship. Not when he acted like an obsessive bastard who would surely lock you in his room for 9 months or more after learning that a bun was in the oven for fear of something bad happening to you two.

However, despite everything, all you felt was an unimaginable longing for the father of your (possibly existing) child. He should be here, right next to you, you should rejoice with him about this news and it should be the happiest day of your life.

Instead of this, all you get was the cold, gold ring on your finger, which was making fun of your current situation. And the first tears, which were already dripping from your cheeks onto the floor.

But you decided to pull yourself together to make sure you weren't only concerned about yourself anymore.

"Elena! Can you call Bonnie?!"

When I'm around you When I'm around you I don't feel together I don't feel together When I'm around you When I'm around you I don't feel together, no I don't feel together

"I will open!" you screamed, jumping off the couch hoping it was the pizza you ordered.

You started making excuses a week ago, saying that the baby and you needed more food, and you ordered absolutely everything you wanted. Including fast food, chocolate, ice cream, and weird midnight cravings. To be honest, you were beginning to fear that one day you might want to drink blood, but that was a problem for another day. Now you had to get the pizza.

The problem is that when you opened the door, you saw someone completely different than the pizza delivery guy. Unless Klaus decided to make extra money and is a lousy pizza delivery guy.

"Hello, love."

Shit. You shouldn't text Rebekah that you need to meet. But hey! You thought the blonde had pacified him. So it was appropriate to inform any of the Mikaelsons that they were going to be uncles/aunt, wasn't it?

"Hi." his messy sight didn't make you feel any better. Apparently, this month has not been easy for him either.

"Can we… can we talk?"

"Talk. For obvious reasons, I have no intention of letting you into the house." you replied coldly, not thinking about making it easy for him. He screwed up, you will let him try to fix you two now.

"Of course. I wouldn't blame you at all if you slammed the door in my face." he replied, laughing, trying to lighten the situation somehow.

You raised an eyebrow, completely unfazed, which made him even more embarrassed. It's probably the first time you've seen him in such a precarious state. He always knew what to do and when to do it. Apparently, he must have really come here as quickly as he could, without any plan in mind. All right. At least you'll know his true intentions sooner.

"Honestly, I should probably do that. But I think we've long established that I don't usually do what I'm supposed to do. You have five minutes."

"Where to start here…"

"An apology would be fine. So is the story of how Elijah managed to get your mind back to normal after accusing everyone of treason and scheming behind your back."

"We both know you don't believe in empty words like sorry, but if you want to hear it, I'm more than ready to beg on my knees for your forgiveness, and that really means something, love. Besides, it wasn't my brother's doing. After you left, something in me... snapped. But the situation made it impossible for me to find you so quickly and try to make amends in any way."

"And what was that?"

"I couldn't believe what Elena told me, but apparently it's true." your conversation was interrupted by Stefan, who stood next to you in the doorway. Klaus winced as Salvatore put his arm around your shoulders, but didn't say a word.

"Stefan." Klaus greeted him coldly, completely surprising you that he hadn't tried to pounce on the younger vampire.

"Klaus. I knew you had some impudence, but I thought after 1000 years you'd learned any decency and you will left her alone."

"Stefan." you scolded him, breaking your eye contact with the hybrid for a moment.

"No, Y/N. You shouldn't be standing here talking to him, much less opening the door for him."

"Nobody, not even you, will tell me what to do." you growled, flicking his arm off of you, much to the original's relief and delight.

"Do you really care about him that much? Can't you just walk away from him?" Like you did from me. He forget to add. You saw this resentment in his eyes, and you couldn't blame him for it. He had a right to feel that way after you broke his heart.

"I can't."

"Why?"

"Because he's going to be a father of my child." wow. It's very interesting how one sentence could make these two stunned.

"What?'

"Child?"

"Yes. In a very nutshell, as a half werewolf, you can have children. Surprise! You should start using some protection. Stefan, could you give us a second?" the shocked vampire obediently walked away, leaving you alone with the befuddled hybrid. "Are you okay? You look pale. Do vampires faint?"

"You're pregnant. With my baby."

"Yes, I thought we already established that."

"And you… do you want to keep it?"

"Yes and it would help if you didn't call our baby it."

"Try to put yourself in my position. This morning I was in New Orleans fighting with my siblings, Mikael and Esther and now…"

"Wait. What? Your parents? What happend? Are you okay?" in your concern, you didn't even notice that you had left the house. You were standing in front of him and touching his face, looking for any sign of injury.

"I'm fine, love. I'm perfectly fine now." he murmured, leaning against your hand, absorbing every ounce of touch you were giving him.

You sighed, resting your forehead against his, letting yourself get lost in the familiar scent of his perfume for a moment. The mere fact that he didn't move an inch to touch you made you believe in his sincere desire to repair your relationship (as well as irritating that even though he was so close, you still had a long way to go to reunite.)

"Don't even think those sweet eyes of yours will make me forget what happened. You're going to have to do your best to make up for the fact that instead of talking to me about your concerns, you decided to make sure I didn't abandon you by making me as dependent on you as possible."

"So you still think my eyes are sweet?"

"Shut up." I murmured. Klaus pulled away from you so he could see your face. His serious expression dispelled the playful mood beetwen you two.

"I love you, Y/N. I'll do anything to get you to trust me again, but until that happens, we'll do everything on your terms. I'll buy you whatever house you want, a car, a dog, a cat—name a thing and you'll get it. I will make sure that you and our child do not lack anything. Even if you decide we shouldn't be together."

"You must really want me if you're ready to buy me a cat."

"I remember you arguing with me that they were Satan's spawn." he rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around my waist tentatively. I hugged him to me, allowing this small expression of tenderness between us. I missed him just like that.

"I think you're exaggerating it a bit, love. I called them my natural enemies."

"Of course, wolfie." I said, hugging him again.

Maybe, together, we do feel right after all.

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kannymaei · 1 year

Text

The Perfect Girl - Chapter 13 (Kamisato Ayato x Reader)

Author’s Note: All characters are OOC! Please be reminded that this fanfic is Modern! AU and Highschool! AU and none of this are canons to the actual lore of Genshin Impact. I do not own Genshin Impact or the characters in the game!

Synopsis: You were a graduating high school student who somehow got involved in unfortunate events and transferred to Teyvat International School. Due to your “complicated” physical features, you became the main target of the school’s “bully”, Kamisato Ayato! Together with his friends, Diluc Ragnvindr, Tartaglia, and Arataki Itto.

Word Count: 3.2k

Taglist: @frieschan @nejibot

Masterlist

Next -> Chapter 14

“I need to talk to him.”

“I need to talk to her… We have a lot of things to sort out.”

—

It has been three months since that incident which means it is already December. Kamisato Ayato has been avoiding everyone and he probably went home schooling for a bit and no one has heard anything from him.

The affair broke out in the news and has affected the Kamisato Family significantly. Ayato has been taking this incident hard which can also be the reason why he was avoiding everyone. The good thing is that the news stopped pestering Ayato after a month.

Guuji Yae somehow disappeared since that day and was nowhere to be found.

Aether has transferred schools and hasn't contacted anyone including his sister.

Kamisato Ayaka looked so much better than she was back then. She began doing the things she loved as a child.

Diluc Ragnvindr has been extremely cold towards you.

Tartaglia and Arattaki Itto are a special case, their treatment towards you and other people remained the same.

Lumine has told you everything that happened that night and like Childe and Itto, she remained civil and was glad her brother wasn't contacting her.

…

Ayato was so preoccupied about his responsibilities in his family that he forgot that it’s that time of the year already.

(I suppose I wouldn’t attend this year’s Christmas ceremony before the students proceed to their winter break because of that incident.) He said to himself while he fixed the books on the shelves of his study room.

“I, Y/N L/N, will soon be the wife and lady of the Kamisato clan!” The younger version of you said confidently to a young Ayato that was completely stunned, amazed, and felt excited about the future with you.

Ayato felt a sudden headache that disrupted his work. It was so painful that he couldn't concentrate on the papers he was signing.

(My memories of her… It’s gradually coming back… Hah… at unexpected times.) He said to himself. Ayato was smiling as these memories came back to him and he does not see this as a nuisance to his work. He’d love to stop working just for his happy memories to come back in a day or even a week.

He continued his work despite the headache but reading and writing papers did not help in the process.

“Who is she?” You asked innocently to Ayato.

“Ah, that’s the youngest daughter of our servants, Guuji Yae. She’s quite shy and doesn't interact with people in the household that much." You and Ayato looked at the girl that's peeking in one of the rooms far away.

"I used to play some games with her since my mother told me that children shouldn't do household chores until you begin coming to my house." Ayato added and made a wide smile indicating that he was so happy that he met someone like you.

"We should go invite her with us sometimes! That way she won't feel left out!" You replied and happily walked your way across the rooms towards her. Every step forward near her, Guuji Yae starts to get frightened because she thinks that you're annoyed with her peeking out.

"M-my lady…" Ayato then whispered, "I just want to be alone with you.".

"I-I'm sorry! It's just I haven't seen you around here a long time ago hence I'm curious why y-you're here with Lord Ayato…" Guuji Yae bowed her head and apologized to you.

"Don't be afraid Guuji Yae, I'm here to ask you to come with us and play!" You held her hand and dragged her back to Ayato.

"The three of us should hang out more… The more the merrier!" You said and hugged the two of them closer. Ayato seemed bothered and Guuji Yae seemed surprised that she's being treated like a normal person and not like someone with a lower class.

You, Ayato, and Guuji Yae spent the whole afternoon playing with each other. From drawing stuff, playing instruments, to playing house.

You and Ayato had to teach Guuji Yae some things she's not familiar with such as drawing basic shapes and naming each of it. Unlike you, her family can't afford education.

Ayato didn't seem to enjoy hanging out whenever Guuji Yae is around but you didn't let it bother you.

The day ended and you had to bid farewell to the Kamisato Family. Ayato's mother is quite busy with his newborn sibling that they named "Ayaka" which is why she wasn't able to accompany you as usual.

He was upset that you had to go soon.

(I still am…) He said in his mind while checking the binders that were piled.

Later that night, Guuji Yae was dragged harshly in the storage room by her parents.

“You know you do not belong with those two!” Her father grabbed her hair and Guuji Yae was tearing up, begging to let go of her hair.

“F-father! Lady Y/N was the one who asked me to hang out with them… I… I didn’t force myself to be with them…” She begged while holding the hand of her father to ease the pain a little bit.

“Haven't you realized it yet Miko?” The father stated as he was furious about his dumb daughter.

“Ayato only knows you as the girl he's been close with his entire life not until that Y/N bitch came in! You could have been that girl he was willing to marry but she got in the way! Father has a plan, so be a good girl and follow my orders.” Her father let go of her hair and smirked on the way out formulating the accident.

Since the accident, Guuji Yae’s mind was set on stealing Ayato away from you. Truth be frank, her family’s plan was already 90% done as soon as your parents were murdered, not until you and Ayato’s path has crossed again for the one last time.

(I never liked Miko as a child not until she convinced me she was Y/N. I was too dumb to see through their lies.) He sighed in disappointment.

(I have decided… I wouldn’t tell Y/N about my memories of her. Not until she asks about it because I don’t want her to remember any of her painful memories.) He added but he was oblivious that you already regained your memories since you were confined in the hospital.

“You are my princess that I admire dearly.”

“The rose that I am willing to hold despite her deadly thorns.”

“No bullet can pierce your elegant body when I am here to shield you.”

“And as your knight, I am sworn to carry your burdens.”

“My dear Fille parfaite (Perfect Girl)” Ayato said, ending the short poem only the two of you know.

“Fille Parfaite” was a nickname he gave you when you were young. You were his perfect girl and he knew the first time he saw you that it wasn’t just love at first sight. There was something interesting about your personality that piqued his attention, he would love to dive deep down into your soul and explore your life.

Kamisato Ayato was really happy reminiscing your memories because he hasn’t felt anything like this his entire life.

There’s something bothering him though, apologizing to you and making you fall in love with him. For once, he knew he needed to set things right. It sounds like a dick move to apologize just because he remembered his memories, it has to be sincere.

To be honest, he felt like he had fallen deeply in love with you even before remembering his memories but he was just in denial. He stopped working for a bit and searched on google how to apologize sincerely, how to make someone fall in love with you when you did bad things to them,

—

“Then? What happened next?” You were so interested in listening to Lumine’s story. There’s five of you in the library, Lumine, Diluc, Childe, Itto, and you.

“C-calm down Y/N… Look at Diluc, he’s calm.” Childe assisted you back to your seat or else the librarian would scold you. You knew that Diluc has been giving you a cold shoulder ever since… he confessed his love to you.

“Okay so…” Lumine continued.

…

“Ayato, I’m sorry!” Guuji Yae begged while looking at the man whose eyes didn't reveal any shine at all.

“W-what can I do for you to forgive me?!” She curled up in the corner afraid of everything that Kamisato Ayato might do.

Ayato looked down at her menacingly, his face said it all. He was angry, disgusted, annoyed, and most of all… He despises Guuji Yae and her family because of the things that they caused to ruin his family and his relationships with other people.

“Guuji Yae… There’s nothing you can do but pay for the sins you and your family committed. You, out of all people, should know that there is nothing you can do in order to redeem yourself.” He coldly responded, no hints of emotions were shown in his eyes. Everyone in the room could feel the cold aura of Kamisato Ayato.

There was a long pause with his words and in between those minutes, Diluc returned to the room.

“Diluc! Where the hell have you been?! We’ve been looking for you the whole time… This event is a mess!” Childe held Diluc by his shoulders and shook him a little.

“He was busy trying to steal someone else’s woman.” Ayato didn’t look back while he spoke, he continued to stare at Miko and Aether.

"Someone's woman?" Childe looked at Ayato and Diluc. He was quick to realize what happened and why Ayato said that.

(Could it be? He remembers Y/N?) Childe was lost in his thoughts.

"Ayato… do you?—'' When he was about to ask Auato, he spreaded out his palm in front of him, indicating that he should not speak any further.

“Yes, I do.” He said and that was the moment when Guuji Yae realized what she had done. The hit that Ayato took to protect Ayaka was her biggest mistake, because of that, Ayato finally remembers everything even if it’s just a little. It was very clear that he could see through everyone’s lies.

“A few days from now, your family will be punished for all of the sins that you have comitted, this includes the murder of my parents, the murder of Y/N’s parents, the so-called accident that me and Y/N got involved, and lastly, for stealing my family’s precious treasures and wealths. In the name of the Kamisato Family, death is justice.” When Guuji Yae heard the last sentence, she kneeled and bowed her head to Ayato.

No hint of mercy was seen from his eyes, he wasn’t being delusional, it’s just he can no longer explain his emotions. He was a deemed respectable, composed, and matured man that knew punching or hurting Aether or Yae Miko isn’t a choice since he believes that justice should be served in the court where everyone is equal and it doesn’t matter if you are rich or not.

“A-Ayato! P-Please! D-don’t execute me and my family!” Guuji Yae pleaded, her tears had been streaming non-stop since they were caught. She didn’t care if she was just in a rob and some of her body was being seen, all she wanted right now is to be forgiven by Ayato.

“Apology is not accepted. All I want is justice for the Kamisato and L/N Family, if I were to have mercy on you. I’d let you live but never show your face again in this city. If I see you anywhere here, I’ll immediately have someone assassinate you. I’ve grown some respect from you back then but I am regretting that I did, you truly belong to a place full of dirt. Just seeing your filthy face makes me want to step on you.” Everyone in the room was just listening to Ayato, everyone was scared of intervening his words. This was the first time everyone saw Ayato angry.

“I assume the daughter of the Kujuo family also knew about these schemes.” Ayato glared at Kujuo Sara that made her jump on her place.

“L-lord Ayato… I do know about it b-but…” Sara was so nervous replying to him because she was scared that her family might be included in the execution.

“But Guuji Yae threatened you that she would hurt your family if you told anyone about it. I understand, an apology is accepted.” He said and smiled at her. There was a huge sigh of relief coming from Sara’s mouth.

“I am waiting for your family’s execution, Guuji Yae. Now scram and never show your face in front of me, my friends, my family, and most importantly, my Y/N L/N.” He said before departing in the room, he pulled out his phone to give orders on arresting each of the members of Guuji Yae’s family before he realized he left something so important. That there was still a celebration on going and has been waiting for him and Ayaka.

—

He got downstairs and went to the stage, holding the mic, and spoke.

“I am very sorry to tell you that the party's over, something important came up and I need to dismiss each one of you today.” There were loud noises and whispers from the crowd, who are currently curious what took the siblings so long and now he announced that everything is over.

A certain man smirked and turned his back, walking straight forward to the door and left the venue. Kamisato Ayato has his eyes on this man since the event started, he wonders what secrets that this man holds.

—

“A-ayato is truly scary…” You said wrapping your arms around yourself thinking how he got a whole family sentenced to death, you wondered what kind of power does he hold in the country for him to order things like that.

“Now that I think of it, Miko was partially at fault but she did a lot of things to you as well when you came to this school. She was on the verge of Ayato’s mercy so he considered for her to disappear instead of being killed with her family.” Lumine stated, you could see on her face how much she despised remembering what happened that day.

“Can we talk about how there’s a new student again at the end of the semester?” Itto said, averting the topic.

“And where did you hear about Itto?” Diluc said he was disappointed at Itto who believes immediately to rumors instead of searching for facts before telling it to them.

“C-come on? You don’t believe me, I heard it from Sara. She doesn’t like rumors, you know that.” He said in his defense.

“Now that I think of it, there are rumors about a new student. I do know that Itto isn’t making it up or lying about it. One of the things that caught my attention is that this student is on par with Ayato.” Childe said, also defending Itto.

“Oh yeah! I heard some of the girls were fangirling at how handsome he was. I'm honestly curious about his appearance, it made me feel like I wanted to see him.” Lumine added, thinking of how it was possible for someone to be on par with Ayato.

“H-how come this was the first time I’m hearing about it?” You said you were so focused on your studies that you didn’t know there was a rumor about a new student, you just assumed that you’re the only transferee for this year.

—

???’s POV

(This university has never failed to amaze me. Its architecture is so refined that it reminded me of someone that loves everything about buildings.) He thought while walking through the hallways with large windows revealing students either eating or hanging out with their friends.

(The heir and the heiress of the Kamisato family reside here, it’s a shame that the Guuji family tainted their reputation. I always had a feeling that family was up to no good, it made my family wonder why the Kamisato family took them as their servants.)

(As for Lady Ilia’s daughter…)

A/N: Ilia is the name of Y/N’s Mother, although I am not quite sure if I revealed it a few chapters before since I searched for that word in every chapter and I can’t find it.

(Lady Ilia, your death was truly unfortunate. But your beauty has never escaped the grasps of my father, up to this day, he still wonders why you chose another man instead of him.)

(I am curious what your daughter looks like… and if she’s enough to be my wife.)

(If Ayato doesn’t want you, then I will.)

—

Truth be frank, this man does not have any bad intentions towards you. He simply became fond of you since your family resurfaced in public a long time ago.

—

In the meantime, you parted ways with your friends since you needed to get something from your locker. You knew you had to return quickly to your friends so you ran and ran to the stairway. You wanted to show your friends an artwork that you did which is like a reply to the artwork you and Ayato did a long time ago, it is also the first time that you were alone in his bedroom.

You were careless with your steps and you missed two of them that caused you to fall down. You wished for someone to catch you as your arms were short enough to hold on the hand rails, in the end, you closed your eyes waiting for your doom, hopefully you don’t get sprained again like you did back then.

You remembered how it was Diluc who carried you and brought you to the hospital, little did you know that he had some feelings for you from the beginning but you didn’t notice it.

Not until you felt yourself pressed into someone’s body.

“O-ouch!” You said, you looked up to that someone who fell with you.

“I should be the one saying that, after all. You are, in fact, on top of me.” He said.

Your eyebrows crossed wondering who this person is, you haven’t seen someone like him. Your thoughts immediately shifted to what your friends said a few minutes ago, and that is about the new student for the new semester. Although, you felt like you’ve seen him somewhere before but you just can’t point out where.

“I-i’m sorry Sir! Are you alright?!” You asked, he sat down before standing up and offered his hand to assist you as well.

“Yes, I am alright. You’re just careless that you didn’t see someone going up as you go down.” He said in a monotone voice.

“I… I’m really in a hurry right now, I’m sorry but here’s one of my student cards that I give to people who would like to know me. Good thing that I have one in my pockets. I owe you for saving my life from another sprain, kindly contact me if I need to pay for your injuries” You bowed your head and handed it to him before running away.

(Your name and contact number is already enough for me to pay for the minor injuries that you caused me. I am truly delighted to meet Lady Ilia’s daughter…) He said while watching you go out in a rush.

(I’m quite amazed that you know how to think before you act).

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jadejedi · 2 months

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Fantasy Book Review: Babel, Or the Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Translators’ Revolution (R.F. Kuang)

JJ’s rating 5/5

How feral did it make me: ⅗

My book reviews

This book is genuinely one of the most impactful books I have ever read. I have read multiple books where the author is trying to make some sort of political statement, and for the most part I have found that they fall flat. They don’t go far enough, they are more of a utopian dream than any sort of real political statement, or alternatively the themes are so covered by metaphor that they can easily be misinterpreted.

Neither is not true for Babel. From the beginning, this book does not pull any punches. R.F. Kuang wanted to really pull back the curtain and show the cruelty and injustice of colonialism and of empires, and boy does she ever.

Babel is set in 1830’s Great Britain, in a world not that different from our own, except that Great Britain’s empire is run on magic, specifically magic that comes from translations written onto silver bars. Oxford University has the largest Translator’s department (which is nicknamed Babel) and is therefore the center of the empire’s power. A young boy from China is taken by an English guardian to Great Britain. The boy chooses the English name Robin Swift. Robin is educated by his guardian, who is also a professor at Oxford and believes that Robin could be a great translator, and therefore an asset to the British Empire. As Robin goes through his time at Oxford, he has to choose between an easy life of comfort as a piece of the machine of the Empire, and a life fighting against the very Empire that has given him so many opportunities.

Babel is also an outlet for R.F. Kuang to showcase her knowledge on languages, as she is currently pursuing a PhD in East Asian languages at Yale. There are lots of footnotes on the language stuff talked about in the book, which is interesting, but I do understand that this makes the book very dry to some people.

This book is absolutely phenomenal. I hope that someday it is one of those books that all kids have to read in highschool. The characters, the themes, and the story are all very well executed. I will admit that it is a tad slow in the middle when Robin and his three best friends are just going through school, but there’s still a lot of interesting things happening. Specifically, there are a lot of subtle things going on with all of the characters and their relationships that I really loved.

The plot of this story is, in my opinion, fairly easy to predict, but I think that’s on purpose. The title is literally “The Necessity of Violence: An Arcane History of the Translator’s Revolution”. So we know that there is going to be a revolution and we know that violence will be used in it. With those two pieces of information, I was fairly easily able to guess the ending, but that in no way made it less impactful. In some ways, it made it more impactful, because the whole time, I was like, no way. She’s not going to go there. There’s no way. And then as it became clearer and clearer that she was going to go there, I was just more and more shook each time. It felt extremely real.

On a personal note, this book resonated very strongly with me because like both Robin and Griffin, my grandmother was taken from her home country as a very young girl when she was adopted by a white American family. She did not have a good experience, from racist bullying, to her abusive family, again like Robin and Griffin. My grandmother no longer speaks her native language because it was essentially bullied out of her. My mother doesn’t even know her own mother’s birth name. Obviously, none of this happened to me, it happened to my grandmother. But it is still a large part of my family’s history, of my history, and it was something I thought of frequently as I read this book. There were multiple scenes in this book that reminded me so strongly of her story that it brought me to tears. At the end of the day, this book is not just about revolution, it’s about what alienation from one’s culture does to someone, and about Robin’s journey to try to reconcile his native culture to the culture he was brought into.

As I’ve already mentioned, the themes of this book are not particularly subtle. In fact, if you removed the magic from the world, the story would basically be the same. But that is the point. R.F. Kuang did not want to be misunderstood. Take something like The Hunger Games. That is a series that I would argue has very similar themes overall, but like, my ultra conservative dad loves The Hunger Games. He does not read it as anti-capitalist at all, and he can read it that way because it is couched in metaphor. You can not misread this book, and I think that is a bold thing to do.

This book brought me to tears multiple times, it made me fall in love with these characters and their relationships, and it honestly astounded me that an author would write something as radical as this, and that it would be published and then be as well received as it has been.

I will also say that I am categorizing this book as “gen” as this is certainly not a romance novel, but there are characters who are queer, and openly acknowledged by the narrative as queer, and I found their portrayals absolutely beautiful.

Again, this book evoked A LOT of emotion for me. Specifically the last ¼-⅓. Also the last couple of lines of the last chapter before the epilogue made me SOB while at work listening to the audiobook.

#book review #fantasy book review #gen #dark academia #babel #babel an arcane history #alternate history

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hdsienna · 1 year

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hello! nice to meet you all! i'm j and i'm here to bring you kang sienna (kang siyoung)! a 20 year old somewhat starlet who's trying her hand at this industry again, mainly because she's mostly funded by her parents who don't care more to invest in her. she has siblings and step-siblings but she's not close to any of them.

if she's not at the company or dorms, she's with her friends and when they have breaks, her focus is on seeing her grandparents.

below! you'll find more about siyoung and as well as some rough plots! also, if anyone wants to give me to permission to use their profile layout bc im too lazy to make my own, pls!

about

her mother and father divorced when she was 10 years old, her mother is an actress and her father a music producer. he works with a lot of korean artist.

she lived in gwangju until she was 5 but often visits her grandparents, her satoori has stayed due to this and she's proud of it.

her parents did one of those baby tv shows so she was in the public eye at a young age.

from age 9 - 12 in a few popular drama's. mainly at the pushing off her parents. so when the divorce came, it was messy (mainly on her dad's side) and very public. finally, the cord was cut and her father went back to america. they've only talked on the phone a few times, he sends money and gifts but they don't have a relationship.

her mom threw herself into work and was barely around, deeming sienna old enough to fend for herself.

her mom never really wanted kids so sienna was able to be a wild child for a bit (still is sorta)

she faded from the spotlight and developed her interest more, siyoung always liked attention so becoming an idol was her new goal. in trying out her skills, she was a good performer and leaned well into rap and dance but she doesn't consider herself a horrible vocalist.

maybe, she's more of a daddy's girl than thought.

she joined a company and there were red flags but her debut came fast! due to lack of funds, they had to build the group themselves really and the company banked on her former fame

honestly, the group didn't do horrible but there were long breaks between comebacks and then it came out the company was a front for money laundering.

they disbanded and she was still in highschool.

wild child bloomed then, more partying, drinking and smoking. at one point she had dreams but now she was aimless, doing what she could to get attention with no goals.

this was channeled into making her own music but it's not something she shared, she still enjoyed busking and dancing and hanging out in the 'underground' scene but it amounted to nothing

the adults around her didn't care and those that would, siyoung was good at putting up a front

she's an out-going girl, maybe a little desperate to be liked at times. she doesn't manage her anger well in that it she bottles it up until it explodes on the right or wrong person

she's signed under starlight!

i have plans in the future for an attitude scandal / past bullying thing

not that she was a bully but she would give as good as she got and even more. revenge doesn't need to be served cold as long as it's served.

she's good to those she likes and vile to those she hates.

a girl who teeters the edge and could easily slip into 'mean' girl mode

her sense of humor is a little dark, morbid

a soft grunge girl who loves one piece and the sims, horror moves, thrillers but can also wallow in self-induce misery if you can't her on the right day.

is very worried about her age and debuting

ideas

she speaks perfect english and korean so if someone needs help in either

muses who act? i don't think it's her arc maybe but she doesn't mind helping people read lines

someone who's fans of her parents

someone who's seen her act in dramas and wonder if it's the same little girl or who someone who does know

she's rich and she doesn't mind showing it so muses who either vibe with that or don't? resentment over shopping trips maybe? or someone who's irked because she chooses expensive places and offers to pay and they think it's pity?

someone she's had beef with in high school?

someone she stood up for in high school?

pls give me this idea. someone (or friend) fucked with her in high school and in response, she stole their man. she's never been sorry.

rivals

one great love, would've been when she was 18-19 and dated for a year, they broke up with her. could've been a player or even siyoung was too intense as a girl friend (extreme opposite of her parents loveless marriage) and they couldn't take it

a boy who was a player, played with her and then broke up with her by dating someone new...they meet again and he doesn't realize it's her

a boy she ghosted and some other small quick relationships that ended

muses that she partied with

a good bestie and a good circle of friends

muses who are into producing and muses she met while busking in hongdae!

someone who doesn’t see her talents and thinks she only got where she got through money! let’s have fun with it (she’d agree, to get a sense of her personality)

if you've seen something you like, let me know or like this post! can't wait to plot with you all!

#3rd. gear. ooc

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poisonouswritings · 2 years

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im sorry i have to say this i dont want to offend but ur mom is so fucked up. every time i see a post youve made or tags youve written on another post and it starts out like "one time my mom" i prepare myself to hear the most buckwild shit imaginable. i hope ur ok

No you're fine!! Don't worry about being offensive lol.

My mom has been going to therapy so she is kinda working on some of her issues but she's still an utter shit show

Little bit of a rant under the cut, tw for mentions of abuse/slurs/assault/self-harm/etc. All pretty vague but better safe than sorry.

And, thank you for being concerned. It means a lot.

My mom is incredibly emotionally abusive (she would be physically abusive if she could be but she has carpal tunnel in both wrists and is also half a foot shorter than me so the few times she's tried it didn't really do anything). I know that. Took me a while to realize it. I remember there was this one time - I was 14 or so - and she was screaming in my face and I was just zoned out wishing that she would just beat me to a fucking pulp so I could have physical evidence of how she hurt me. So that there would be no 'oh she didn't mean it' or 'maybe I misunderstood, I should stop being so sensitive' or whatever. I craved confirmation of my pain. That's how I finally accepted it was abuse.

Admittedly she had a fucked up background (was abused as a child and had an abusive relationship) and it severely messed her up. Being raised in a strict Hispanic Catholic household where the elders were always right, anything going against God was horrible, and you were constantly criticized for the way you looked and acted, none of that helped either. First time I met my great aunt (the one who raised my mom) she told me I was disgustingly fat and should starve myself so boys would want me. So I see where my mom got it from. I think that's why I lost it so hard at Turning Red.

Things didn't used to be this bad. When I was younger my mom and I were really close, y'know? But then I hit middle school and started forming my own opinions that differed from hers (and started showing more clear signs of nuerodivergence) and shit hit the fan. It's one of those things where 80% of the time we get along fine but then the other 20% she's basically calling me a dyke-slut-whore-retard etc etc. Don't remember if I mentioned this or not but I'll throw it here again anyways, she refused to let me go to therapy when I was in middle school (when I was suicidal) because she 'didnt want to be the mother of the crazy kid'. When I was in highschool and was self-harming she screamed at me because 'what if the boys see it then they'll never want to date [me]' and then bought me a cardigan so I could cover the marks. She refused to acknowledge I was autistic until I could use it on my college applications. She always makes sure she's the biggest victim in the room. Constantly talks about/threatens suicide when I call her out on her shit. Dumps all of her emotional problems onto me. I was fucking six or seven when she told me about my dad's affair, and she's just continued sharing every little thing with me ever since. I make jokes about it but honestly,,, if she wasn't a Catholic who believes suicide = Hell, I'd be afraid she would kill me in a murder-suicide thing. I've had friends who have met her irl tell me that if I ever suddenly disappear they're just gonna assume she was involved somehow. So. Idk. There's a lot more shit she does that I haven't talked about yet because it hasn't come up, but yeah it's always the weirdest shit.

Oh I am definitely not okay. I have a pathetically low self-esteem and need constant validation or else I assume everyone hates me because that's how I grew up. I really wanna talk about myself and my oc work but I get anxious that everyone will hate it and think it's dumb and insult me for it because that's how it was growing up. I call myself an idiot because that's what I was always called growing up. I will put up with massive amounts of abuse/manipulation because that's how it always was growing up. Any time someone compliments me my initial reaction is to assume it's a sarcastic insult because that's how it's always been growing up. I've had people tell me that sometimes they feel shitty about their home life but then they look at my mom and remember how great they have it, so at least my trauma serves some greater purpose.

I try my best to remain positive and laugh about things, and that helps somewhat. My Life Is A Fucking Soap Opera And I Will Liveblog That Shit. I probably should get into therapy but since I'm not even allowed to talk on the phone without my mom listening at my door, that probably won't happen anytime soon.

Idk guys. If you have a decent parent then go give them a hug. And if you don't, then, rip to us.

#anon asks #ozzy answers #ozzy speaks #cw abuse mention #cw abuse #cw slurs #cw self harm mention

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whatsnothappening · 1 year

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stopped my last entry bc i didnt really have much to say but heres whats up

So, here i am yet again... up in the middle of the night sharing my thoughts. i kind of find it funny that i write these in a sense that someones reading them or that i am actually talking to someone. i guess i could say that im talking to myself. best conversation you can have is a conversation with yourself, right? anywho, im going to start off with some positives that have happened recently... My dad has actually started reaching out to me! i dont remember if i have mentioned anything about what has been going on with me and him recently but it has been tense. it really isn't his fault though. it is mainly his girlfriends/my stepmother. So i will start by saying that i understand her issues but i think she is taking things way out of proportion and she also needs to handle her drama with him, her self and not bring me into it. he is my father, she is now technically my step mother. i am not her gal pal and my dad is not just a friend. although they both act as such, they arnt. So i shouldn't be involved in their relationship as much as she sucks me in. im going to keep a long ass story short, maybe ill rant on about it if i feel the need to in another entry but not now, i have other things to address haha. but my father has a history with drug and alcohol abuse. he has come an extremely long way and has made so many strides, i am always quick to say that i am so proud to have him as my dad. which is all very true. he is an amazing man and a wonderful father. but he is human... everyone digs their own trenches at some point in their life whether it involves substance abuse or not. everyone digs their own. what makes you an amazing individual is if you can get yourself out. granit, my father did have a lot of help from my mom. but you have to also give credit to him for accepting the help. i have seen many people who need help and are offered it and completely ignore the help until it is too late or everyone has given up. if you are given help and you see an opportunity for a way out or a way to grow then take it. you are not higher than anyone else, and getting help does not make you lower than anyone else. keep that in mind. (im saying that to myself as well..) but anyways i am 100% rambling and making what i wanted to be a short story a long story. he dealt with substance abuse and over came it. years go by he moves out i graduate highschool and he meets a British lady. she's wonderful. very earthy. very family oriented. but also extremely posh and stand offish all at the same time. she wonderful but odd. i do love her though. but so they have been together for quite some time, they might as well be married by now. rewind back to last year a day before christmas eve. she texts me explaining that my dads drinking has gotten horrible and that he is verbally violent and horrible to live with. i immediately text back saying that im on my way and i am going to set him straight. she tells me not to come by and that it will just start a fight. i tell her that she needs to tell me what to do because i cant just get a text about my father going backwards in his years of progress and growth and not do anything about it. we text back and forth a little bit i calm myself down and move on. now it is christmas day. the first house me and my husband need to head to is my fathers. i am nervous. i keep telling my husband that we can skip my dads this year and just spend time with his family. he insists on going and keeps telling me that i will regret it. well no. i regret going. i spent the entire christmas crying,. i was uncomfortable and emotionally beat. i felt i couldn't have fun with my dad and enjoy family with him and my plus one family. i was jealous of her daughters. im sure none of them knew the information i was given days before and are just able to enjoy christmas happily and stress free. not me. i sat upset. kept making runs to the bathroom so i could cry and get it all out so i could put on a face for the next few hours. fast forward to new years. continued-

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hungrygayandtired2 · 2 years

Conversation

Asking 11 Top Heroes What They Would Be If They Weren't Heroes

(In a sparse studio, akin to one of those celebrity videos on WIRED or The Cut.)

PA: So, Deku, what would you be if you weren't a hero?

Midoriya: Oh, I'd have to stay in the field. I love hero work too much. I'd probably be a support item designer or something.

...

Uraraka: Oh, me? Probably a nurse.

...

Bakugou: An engineer, I think, or something similar. It suits my quirk.

...

Midoriya: Y'know, I’ve always wanted to be a hero, but we really need to give more credit to everybody behind the scenes. Jobs like fight scene recinstructionists and support item designers are just as important.

...

Todoroki: If I wasn't a hero? I’m not really sure. I haven’t given it much thought.

...

Bakugou: I find both math and science pretty interesting. Engineering has always been a backup choice of mine.

...

Sero: If I wasn’t a hero?

PA: M'hm.

Sero: Oh, a drug dealer, for sure.

...

Kirishima, excitedly: Oh, I'd be a fireman!

...

PA: Sorry, you said-?

Sero: A drug dealer, yeah.

...

Kirishima: I just love helping people. And it’s such a manly job!

...

Sero: I actually did deal in highschool. Made some decent money.

...

Momo: If I wasn't a hero, hm... I’d probably be helping my father run his company. Maybe, a regional CEO at a subsidiary.

...

Uraraka: Since I’m already a rescue hero, I have a lot of med training already. So a nurse is a natural choice for me, I think.

...

Todoroki: It’s hard for me to say what I would be. I've only ever really known hero work. But I have always been interested in art, so maybe a museum curator?

...

Mina, wearing chunky sunglasses and no makeup, visibly hungover: If I wasn't a hero? *She sighs* Probably a stripper.

...

Midoriya: It really irks me when people don’t acknowledge all the invisible work that goes into keeping our world safe. It’s not just heroes doing the work, even if it’s ours that's most obvious.

...

Kaminari, similarly clad to Mina in sunglasses and rumpled clothes: At the risk of giving myself more credit than I'm due, I'd probably be an olympian.

...

PA: What sort of business specifically do you think?

Momo: My father owns a major pharmaceutical company in the states. I've always been quite good at chemistry, so maybe there.

...

Kaminari: I was actually supposed to compete in the junior olympics for ice skating. But I ended up having to pick between that and going to UA, and I chose UA.

...

Iida: If I wasn’t a hero? I think I’d be a doctor.

...

PA: Olympian is a pretty unstable choice. What if you didn’t make the cut?

Kaminari: *Leans back in his chair to think, then shrugs* Probably a stripper.

...

Iida: My mother is actually a top neurologist. Medicine runs in our family.

...

Mina: *Pushes her sunglasses up her head to reveal that her eyes are half-lidded and bloodshot*

Mina, to a PA: Can I smoke in here?

...

PA: What do you think your friends might've answered?

Midoriya: Probably athletic jobs. Jobs in medicine. Stuff that's adjacent to hero work.

...

Kirishima: Oh, they probably answered stuff like doctors and lawyers. Sensible stuff, y'know?

...

Kaminari, rubbing his temples like he has a headache: Does anybody have a cig I can bum?

...

Kirishima, looking off camera, assumably at a PA who's just finished talking: They said that? During this interview?

Kirishima, under his breath: Jesus fucking christ.

...

Uraraka: I’m sure they answered pretty normal stuff.

...

Sero: Yeah, I think I made like $500 one week just dealing?

...

Uraraka: All any of them really want is to help people.

...

Sero: Teenagers, man. They’ll smoke anything.

...

(Somebody off camera tosses Kaminari a pack of Marlboro Lights.)

...

Iida: *Nodding for a second like he's scared* What do I think they said?

...

Kaminari, cigarette hanging limply out of his mouth: Anybody have a light?

...

Momo: What do I think my classmates said?

...

Shinsou, also in sun glasses and looking like death: *Sits down in the chair opposite the camera*

PA: What would you be if you weren’t a hero?

Shinsou, pulling off sunglasses and hanging them on the collar of his shirt: If I wasn’t a hero?

PA: Yeah.

Shinsou: Dead.

...

Momo, shaking her head slightly like she's trying to assuage her own doubts: I’m sure they all answered reasonable things.

...

Mina, now smoking: I actually do pole classes on the weekend for fun.

...

Kaminari, having found a light and now also smoking: I know it’s not, like, all sunshine and rainbows, but I think I could have some fun with it.

PA: With stripping?

Kaminari: Yeah.

...

Mina: And I’m damn good at it, too.

...

Iida: I’m sure their answers were… normal.

...

Kaminari: It’s money and male validation. What more could you want?

...

Bakugou: Oh, they said some stupid ass shit, for sure.

...

Uraraka: Some of them also said medical jobs, I'm sure. Doctors, physicians, stuff like that.

...

Midoriya: All they really want is to help people. I'm sure that's reflected in their backup career choices.

...

PA: What if you weren’t dead?

Shinsou: *Leans back in his chair to think*

...

Uraraka: Hero work and medical work do kind of exist right next to each other.

...

Iida: Medical work? Maybe?

...

Shinsou: Naw, I think I’d definitely be dead. That’s, like, the only reasonable alternative.

...

Todoroki: Most of them probably said hero adjacent jobs. Athletes, doctors, etcetera.

...

Midoriya: It's actually really great to be friends with people as good and dedicated as they are. I know there's really nothing they'd rather do then help others.

...

PA: We really can’t just include you saying you think you’d be dead.

Shinsou: *Sighs*

...

Midoriya: Ultimately all any of us want to do is be a force for good in the world. That’s what being a hero is really about. Not the fame, or the fighting. It’s all really just about helping people. I have total confidence that any other options my friends might pursue would be only ones which would help people.

...

Shinsou: I don’t know. Probably a drug dealer.

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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

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Genshin: University AU [V1]

I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.

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Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha.

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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki

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Diluc

Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.

“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.

He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.

“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

Ningguang

Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.

Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos.

She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.

"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."

Kaeya

One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.

He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok?

The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished.

“I was taught how to lead not to read.”

Mona

Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...

Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.

Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.

You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways.

“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”

Venti

Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.

Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing?

He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?

He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.

"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."

Childe

An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out.

This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”.

Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.

"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”

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God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.

This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )

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nhlandotherimagines · 3 years

Text

Since When? -Matthew Tkachuk X Fem!Reader

This is approximately 11.2k words of a friends-to-lovers rollercoaster of emotions! I hope you all enjoy! I hope you all enjoy it! @anastasiyaigorevnadobrodevskaya @jonnytoews19 @puckbitchesgetmoney @glassdanse @suzukick

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of nudity, implied sexual acts, angst, negative self talk, “unrequited” love, drinking, also some fluff as well. Please let me know if I missed anything!

In case you don’t know: Y/n: your name, Y/l/n: your last name, and Y/n/n: your nickname (can be replaced with your name if you do not have a nickname of course)

flashbacks are in italics :)

———

“Y/n, this is Macy. Macy, this is Y/n.” Matthew introduces you to the blonde girl he’s been talking about for weeks. She is so much prettier than you could have ever imagined. Beautiful blonde hair, flawless tanned skin, and her legs went on for miles. You shake the thoughts from your head a large grin taking over your own face.

“Oh how formal of you Matthew,” you say mockingly. “Please call me Y/n/n, and despite how Matty here is acting you have no reasons to be nervous. He talks about you all the time, I like you already!” You beam with a wink. Matt’s ears and neck burn red in embarrassment, as you and Macy giggle.

“I could say the same about you y/n/n!” Your stomach twists a little at that, what could Matthew possibly have told her? You and him have been friends for years. Best friends. You live across the hall from him now. When you moved to Calgary he insisted you moved into his apartment, but you know he would never take a girl home with you around all the time. If you are being truly honest with yourself, it has more to do with the fact that you don’t want to think about Matthew with other girls.

Yet here you are, standing in front of his new girlfriend, who could be supermodel. “Would you like to get a drink Macy? Let Matthew go talk boring old sports stuff with his jock friends.” Macy giggles at your request, but agrees quickly placing a kiss on Matthew’s cheek.

————

“Thank you for this. Matt’s been really weird about me meeting you, and I was worried you were going to hate me.” Macy’s smile falters a little when she says this, causing you to choke a little on your drink.

“Wow! He must have made me seem like a total bitch! Sounds like him really. I guess he knows I want whoever he’s with to be perfect for him, but he doesn’t understand that as long as he’s happy and that girl isn’t just a gold digger than I’m happy too.” You knock her shoulder playfully with yours, “He seems very happy with you, and for the record I think you’re really cool.”

The two of you sit in silence for a moment, before Macy speaks again. “So how did you and Matt become friends?”

“It’s a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?” You chuckle, as she nods excitedly.

“Y/n l/n?” The teacher reads out your name.

“Present!” You beam from your spot at the front of the class hand in the air. You hear a few chuckles from behind you, and lower your hand slowly slumping into your chair.

“Matthew Tkachuk?” The teacher continues, after giving you a sympathetic smile.

“That would be me!” His voice causes your eyes to snap to the door. He’s beautiful and chaotic. Bright blue eyes, messy curls, a little smirk, and a cute little dimple to tie it all together.

“Mr. Tkachuk, being late on the first day isn’t the best first impression. Please don’t make a habit of it.” The teacher scolds lightly.

“Sorry, I won’t.” He smiles sheepishly, as he places his backpack on the chair beside yours. “Okay if I sit here?” He looks at you expectantly.

Unable to find your words you nod. He sits down, and smiles at you. “I’m Matthew.” He adds sticking his hand out for you. You take it, face burning red.

“Uh- I’m y/n.” You stutter out. More snickers coming from the seats behind you. Immediately you pull your hand away and stare down at your lap, tears burning your eyes. It was your first day of highschool, and already you weren’t fitting in.

“Well y/n, can I call you y/n/n?” He asks quickly, but doesn’t bother to wait for a response, “Want to eat lunch with me? It being the first day and all I’m trying to make friends. What do you say?”

“Okay.” You reply, and smile up at him. No longer feeling as shy.

So you did eat lunch together that day. And every day after that. You became best friends almost immediately. After a couple weeks, you met his family and fit in well with all of them. Matthew fit just as perfectly in your life. You studied together, you went and watched his games, you did everything together.

It was so easy to be with Matthew, so when he got drafted to the Flames your decision was easy. You immediately applied to the University of Calgary.

“And we’ve been friends forever it feels like.” You smile at her.

“So you guys dated in highschool?” She asks, but it sounds more like a statement than a question. Your eyes nearly popped out of your skull at that.

“No way! Matt and I are only friends, that’s all we’ve ever been, and we are both VERY okay with that.” You cringe to yourself at how awkward you sound, trying to convince her what you were saying was true. And it mostly was, aside from the fact that part of you wanted more, and still do.

“Seriously? Not even like one date?” You shake your head, “not one awkward game of spin the bottle?” Again you shake your head, “not even a drunk hookup?” At that you laugh, and take another swig of your drink.

“I’m being honest Macy. The closest to any of that Matt and I ever had was my seventeenth birthday.” You shudder at the memory, “Neither of us enjoyed that.”

Macy’s face lit up at that. “Well now you have to tell me!”

You are standing in front of your bedroom mirror getting ready for your birthday party. People would be showing up in about an hour, your mom is in the kitchen finishing the cake, your dad cleaning the barbecue, your siblings at friends houses, and here you are standing mostly naked in front of the mirror. Admiring the brand new navy blue lingerie set you just bought, your very first set. You feel really sexy, for the first time ever, which at seventeen is a big deal.

You aren’t sure how long you’ve been standing there, when the door opens, but you are too zoned out to even notice as you run your fingers along the lace resting on your hips. “Oh fuck!”

As soon as you hear his voice you turn towards the door and do your best to cover your exposed body.

“MATTHEW JESUS CHRIST GET OUT!” You scream at him, tears blurring your vision. He mutters an apology as he quickly exits your room.

You cry for awhile, the embarrassment making you not want to get off your floor. However, you do eventually, and change into the dress your mother bought specifically for your party. It was black, and much more mature than your mother would have ever let you wear before, or maybe it’s because you yourself look more mature. Who knows? All you know is that you don’t want to face Matthew.

It turns out that you don’t have to. Matthew doesn’t show up for the party. Brady does though, telling you he isn’t sure what happened, but Matthew isn’t feeling well. You know why though. He was repulsed.

You cry yourself to sleep after everyone leaves. Even going as far as throwing out the set of lingerie, unable to look at it anymore.

You thought you lost him that day. Thankfully though, the following Monday it was like nothing happened. Neither of you bring it up again.

“Wow! He never mentioned it?” She laughs in astonishment.

“Not once! I think he’s forgotten really. It’s not like there was really much to see anyway.” You go back and forth like that all night, sharing stories, buying each other drinks, dancing together. It is perfect.

Across the bar Matthew smiles to himself, watching the two of you getting along so well.

“Dude I told you they’d get along!” Noah Hanifin says slapping a hand over Matthew’s shoulder. He doesn’t hear him come over to where he stood leaning against the bar watching you and Macy dancing together, so it startled him at first.

“I knew they probably would, it’s just if they didn’t,” Matthew stops for a moment staring down at his drink. “I wouldn’t be able to choose.”

“Why would you have to choose?” Noah doesn’t get it, and Matthew isn’t sure the answer really.

“Every time I’ve been seeing a girl they always get weird once they finally meet y/n. Most of them just can’t handle the fact I’m so close to a girl.” He shrugs, and Noah sends him a knowing smile.

“So you’ve never told me, were the two of you ever a thing?” Noah asks, taking a drink of the beer in his hand.

Matthew throws his head back laughing loudly. “Seriously Hanifin? You’ve met the two of us right? We have been friends forever. Nothing else.”

“You’ve never even just hooked up? I don’t know, you two just fit so well together I assumed you would have tried it out at least once.” Noah shrugs.

“No way!” Matthew chuckles awkwardly, wanting the conversation to end.

As the two friends lean against the bar in silence, his eyes fall on you. You’re wearing a cute little black dress similar to the one you’d worn the day he thought he’d lost you.

It is your birthday, and Matthew can’t wait to give you the present he bought you weeks ago. It is a miracle he kept it a secret this long. Sure your party isn’t for another hour or so, but he can at least help everyone get ready. That way he can give you your present sooner, and without the prying eyes of your mutual friends.

So here he was walking up to your front door, the little velvet box tucked inside his backpack. Inside it a beautiful gold necklace, the pendant a simple letter ‘M’. Sure, maybe it was cheesy, but you love cheesy. As for Matthew he loves seeing you happy, and he loves you.

“Hey Matthew honey! Y/n is in her room.” Your mother greets him as he comes through the front door. He exchanges a quick hello and starts up the stairs to your room.

Matthew takes a shaky breath, trying to steady his breathing. His heart is racing, why is he so nervous? He tries to convince himself it is just because he wants you to like the gift and not because he has feelings for you. When he finally pushes open your door though, all of the air he had just tried to hold onto, leaves his body immediately. There you are. Standing in front of your mirror, back to him. Your hair curled loosely, and wearing nothing but a set of navy blue lingerie. Matthew is frozen, unable to speak. His eyes rake over your body, even though he knows it is wrong. You look good. So good in fact, Matthew’s pants have tightened considerably since he stepped through your door.

“Oh fuck!” He groans, eyes widening as he finally realizes the gravity of the situation. He watches you spin around, horror and embarrassment clear on your face.

“MATTHEW JESUS CHRIST GET OUT!” You yell, you sound so angry to Matthew. He is immediately embarrassed. Embarrassed to be caught, but mostly embarrassed by the affect you have on him.

Matthew runs home. He pleads with Brady to just put his name on the gift he is bringing, and to let you know he isn’t feeling well. The truth is, he doesn’t feel well. He is scared. Scared everything has to change. The two of you don’t talk all weekend, but maybe Matthew stalks your Instagram to make sure you have a good birthday.

However, the following Monday the two of you fall back into your normal routine. The incident is never brought up again, aside from in Matthew’s dreams that is.

Matthew shakes his head, trying to physically rid it of the memory. He smiles sadly down at his drink knowing that the necklace he bought you that year now sits safely in a box on the top shelf of his closet. He never got to give it to you.

“What ‘cha thinkin’ ‘bout space cadet?” You grin up at him. He smiles back at you, and throws his arm around your shoulder. Subconsciously he scans the room for Macy. “Chill out Matty she’s in the bathroom. You looking to dip on me already? I mean how can I blame you? If I got to go home with someone THAT hot I’d be leaving as soon as I could.”

“I’m not trying to dip!” He shoots back in defence.

“Okay! Okay! Cool it Chucky! I’m just teasing. I like her a lot! Why were you so worried?” You wrap an arm around his waist as he pulls you tighter into his side.

“Dunno. I guess your opinion is kind of important to me. Wouldn’t wanna displease my sidekick.” He smirks down at you.

“Oh please! If anyone is the sidekick here it’s you Tkachuk! Know your place.” You tease, as Macy finds her way over to the two of you. “He’s getting on my nerves! He’s your problem now. Have fun lovebirds!” You wink at them as you slip away. You need another drink, something hard. You also need someone to take home tonight. So you wouldn’t have to think about Matthew and Macy.

You like her. She is perfect for him, and she makes him happy. That’s what you want. It doesn’t mean you don’t wish it was you.

————

The next morning Matthew makes his way back to his own apartment. He had spent the night at Macy’s, but decides to get home early as his parents and siblings are going to be in town later in the day. When he turns down the hall, he notices the guy leaning against your doorframe. He can’t see you, but he can hear your laugh. “I’ll see you later yeah?” Nathan says leaning in to press a kiss to your lips.

“Um sure. Yeah.” You immediately start beating yourself up internally for how awkward that sounded. Sure Nathan is sweet, and last night was great! He just doesn’t feel right.

You say your final goodbyes, and promise to text him later before you close your door. Little do you know, your best friend is waiting in the hallway to greet your new friend. “Fun night fella?” Matthew smirks at him.

His eyes go wide as he realized who exactly it is standing in front of him. Matthew’s ego inflates significantly at how terrified this guy seems. “Uh yeah it was alright.” Nathan manages to stammer out.

“She’s something isn’t she? I’m Matthew.” Matt sticks his hand out for the stranger.

“Nathan, and uh yeah she’s great.” The two continue awkward small talk for a couple seconds longer before Matthew lets himself into your apartment.

“So Michael huh?” Matthew grins over at you. You roll your eyes, taking a long drink of your coffee from where you stand leaning against the counter.

“It’s Nathan, but you knew that smart ass. What about him?” You challenge, slightly annoyed that he had to show up and give you a hard time. Matthew just shrugs walking over to you, pushing himself up onto the counter beside you.

“He just doesn’t seem like your type.”

“Matty, how the hell would you even know what my type is?” You cross your arms glaring at him.

“He’s skinny, and he is definitely vanilla as all hell. Sure those aren’t bad things, but you and I both know you want a strong man to be in control. Only in the bedroom of course.” He adds with a wink. Your cheeks flame in response, shoving him. He’s exactly right. Nathan was a little scrawny, and not overly confident in the bedroom. Sure he was great, but he wasn’t Matthew. You curse yourself for even thinking about your friend that way. Your best friend that’s all he is.

“Matthew, get out of my apartment. Your family will be here soon, and I need to get ready to see my favourite Tkachuk.” You tease back. He rolls his eyes, but says nothing as he slips from the counter making his way out of your apartment.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as the door shuts behind him. You need to start distancing yourself from him before things get out of hand.

————

“Y/N!!!” Brady gathers you up in a hug before you even have the chance to close Matthew’s door.

“Hey Brady” you giggle into his hair. He sets you down after giving you a quick spin, pressing a soft kiss to your hairline.

“How’ve you been bug?” He asks, throwing an arm over your shoulder after you finally shut the door. Him and Matthew have called you the dumb nickname for a long time, and at this point it hardly bothers you. You and Brady were always really close, but it was never the same as you and Matthew. He was more like a brother for you, one you annoy, share all your secrets with (especially if they involved boys), and also gave him a hard time. With Matthew, sure you annoy each other, and share secrets, but you and Matthew were a team. Inseparable. It doesn’t make sense, even to you, but you did love them both.

“Not too bad, trying to keep Mr. Hotshot in check. The usual. Though I’ve had some help recently, so honestly I’ve been a little bored.” You quip loud enough for Matthew to hear. Judging by the look on Matthews face though, he hadn’t missed any of the interaction.

“Oh get a room already would you!” He grumbles rolling his eyes and walking away. You and Brady share a look, and he shrugs to signal he’s just as confused as you.

Brady leads you to the couch, and you sit down. The two of you already deep in conversation, catching up on your lives. Taryn finds her way to the couch soon after joining in on your conversation. “So what’s she like?�� Taryn asks after awhile.

“Macy?” You ask, and the two siblings nod at you expectantly. “She’s really great! She’s kind, smart, and not to mention a total bombshell! She is perfect for Matthew, I’m happy for them.” Brady just looks at you with a sad smile.

You want to tell him that it’s the truth, that you actually love her to death. Something stops you though, you’re not sure why, but you stay quiet.

Soon after Macy knocks on the door. Matthew runs to answer it before either of his siblings can even react. When you see her, your heart nearly stops. Once again you are in awe of just how beautiful she is. You stay rooted in your spot on the couch as the Tkachuk family takes turns fawning over her. For the first time ever, you felt out of place. You’ve spent the better part of a decade being that girl, the one the whole family raves about. The family chirping Matthew about what a miracle it was you stuck around. Sure it got old fast, but you loved it. Now you can’t help the jealousy that spreads it’s roots through your heart.

After the dinner, if you could even call delivered Chinese food that, you pull Matthew aside after the others make their way to the living room. “Hey Matt, I’m gonna head home I’m kinda tired.”

“String bean do that much damage Y/n/n?” He smirks down at you, and your face twists a little unable to find the humour in his friendly chirp. Matthew’s smirk quickly falls from his face. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah ‘m fine Matty. I’m just gonna go okay? I’ll talk to you tomorrow yeah? Tell everyone I’m glad I got to see them.” You muster a small smile as you turn towards the door. “You’re not gonna say bye yourself?”

“They’re having fun Matt.” You send him a better smile at that, trying to let him know everything is okay. You feel far from okay though, and you can’t even explain why. “And you should be too! Now get in there before Brady talks Macy into finding someone better!” You give him a playful shove towards the chatter in the living room. Thankfully Matthew chuckles at that, and let’s you go.

He watches you closely as you leave, and he feels guilty. Running through his mind everything that might have made you want to leave. Was it Brady? Was it him?

God it was killing him, and that was evident on his face as he walks into the living room. Brady catching his eye as soon as he did, noticing the frown that Matthew quickly covers with a smile. “Y/n told me to let you know she was heading home for the night, and she was so happy to see you all. Except Brady of course.”

“Awe well I wish you let us know before she left Matt, we hardly see that girl anymore.” Chantal spoke, but Matthew barely heard her. All he could focus on was the glare Brady was sending him. Matthew just shrugs at his brother, his form of silent communication to let Brady know he doesn’t know what he was upset about. Brady responded with his own silent gesture, a head nod in the direction of the kitchen.

As he peels himself from the chair he was seated in, Brady makes his way silently to the kitchen. Matthew follows, hand rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly once the two brothers are finally alone. “Why did she really leave? What did you say to her?” Brady was quick to jump on Matthew with questions, that if he were honest, Matthew was not expecting.

“What the fuck are you talking about? She was tired so she went home.” Matthew throws back, already angry his brother assumes it was his fault.

“It’s Y/n we are talking about! That girl has been around for years, I’ve seen her pass out at our kitchen table on family game night. She’d sooner fall asleep on the couch and spend as much time with us as she could than to just leave. And without saying good bye? Seriously dude what the hell did you say?” Brady was trying to keep his voice down, but he was upset. You were his friend too.

“Nothing! And how could I? She spent all night talking to you! She’s probably just going home to sleep with that idiot Nathan anyway.” Matthew grumbles. Brady freezes at his brothers statement. “Nathan?”

“Yeah some guy she took home from the bar last night.” Matthew explains like it was common knowledge, “he seems like an idiot.”

“Matt are you jealous?” Brady asks, a shit eating grin plastered on his face. Matthew rolls his eyes and groans out loud. “Brady are you stupid? No wait don’t answer that, you are. Y/n is my best friend. She can sleep with whoever she wants whenever she wants. I have a girlfriend.” Matthew’s fists clench at his sides, and Brady’s eyes flicker down to them briefly.

“Well the two of you need to figure your shit out.” Brady adds, turning on his heels and heading back to his spot in the living room. Matthew unclenches his fists, and takes a deep breath before joining the rest of his family again.

———

You sit on your bed, legs tucked under you, leaning back against the headboard. You press Brady’s contact, and watch as the phone rings. You didn’t FaceTime Brady often, but this was necessary. “What’s up bug?” Brady’s smile immediately makes you feel less anxious.

“Well it’s kind of a long story, I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple months now. He’s great, but I don’t really know how to introduce him to Matt without him being weird about it.” You chew your bottom lip anxiously, cheeks warm with embarrassment. It sounds so stupid to say it out loud. Brady’s laughing pulls you out of your spiral. “What’s so funny? Brady I’m serious Matthew makes everything so awkward!”

Finally Brady manages to catch his breath. “Y/n I had basically this exact same conversation about four months ago with Matt. You two are literally impossible! You’re best friends, you just want each other to be happy. As for Nathan-“

“How do you know his name? I never told you that?” Your dumbfounded expression has Brady in hysterics once again. “Matthew.” You groan, finally having pieced it all together. You mumble something about having to go before you end the conversation with Brady. You pull on an old hoodie of Matthew’s that’s slightly too big for you, and quickly make your way to Matthew’s apartment.

You let yourself in, like you always have. Instead of being met by Matt playing video games like you expected, you’re met with a much more horrifying image. Matt has Macy pinned to the couch, and let’s just say they aren’t having a wrestling match. The noise of shock that escapes you alerts the couple of your presence. “Y/n!” Matthew exclaimes quickly crawling off of Macy. He grabs the nearest throw pillow covering his junk with it awkwardly.

After far too long of gaping at the couple you manage to snap out of it, turning back to head for the door again. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I didn’t- oh Jesus! Pretend I was never here I’m sorry!” You’re out of his apartment in record time. Collapsing just inside your apartment door, tears stinging your eyes. The embarrassment was overwhelming, how were you supposed to face either of them ever again?

———

“Well fuck!” Matthew groans after the door slams shut behind you. Macy starts giggling from her place on the couch, and Matthew sends her a glare.

“Oh loosen up tough guy! At least you’re even now!” She shoots back wiggling her eyebrows at him. Matthew stands frozen in his place. “What are you talking about?”

“Her 17th birthday Matthew, do you actually not remember that?” Macy let’s out an awkward laugh, as she watches the pain on Matt’s face. “She told you that?” Matthew is angry, and he knows he shouldn’t be. Why would you tell his girlfriend about that when you have never even talked to him about it? He’s your best friend.

Macy just nods, slightly scared to actually admit it out loud. Matthew lets out a small ‘oh.’ before leaving the room. He emerges a few minutes later fully clothed to find Macy gathering her things to leave.

“I’m sorry you don’t have to leave.” Matthew mumbles, but he only half means it. Sure he doesn’t want her to leave, but he needs to talk to you. Needs to make this right.

“Go talk to her Matty, seriously. Figure it out, I’m not sure why it made you so upset that she just walked in here. What did you expect? She always does. Set some boundaries maybe? You’re a grown man Matthew, it’s not my job to play the parent and fix whatever is happening here.” Macy huffs, slamming the door just as hard as you had not long before. Why was everyone so upset with him? First Brady, then you, now Macy too? What was he doing wrong? And why did the get so upset about Macy bringing up your 17th birthday?

Matthew tries not to get caught up in his mind too long. Instead he roots through his closet shelves looking for your birthday present. Sure maybe it was 6 years late, but how else could he make up for the awkward night?

———

You are laying on your living room floor when Matthew lets himself into your apartment. “What are you doing on the floor?” Matthew chuckles, leaning against the wall closest to you.

“‘M not sure.” You mumble, unable to look at him. Instead you study a paint chip directly above you. You hear Matthew set something down before he pushes your coffee table a few feet away. He then drops himself next to you rather ungracefully, tucking an arm behind his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t knock.” You say quietly, so quietly in fact Matthew almost doesn’t hear it. He does though and he turns his head to face you.

You turn towards him, taking in his features for the first time since he entered your apartment. The sad smile on his face knocks the wind out of you for a moment, as you get lost in his blue eyes. “When have you and I ever knocked? I should’ve put a sock on the door handle.” He chirps back, sealing it with a wink. You laugh lightly at his comment, and turn your gaze back to the paint chip.

The two of you stay like that for awhile. Staring at a paint chip, in total silence. Your thoughts consuming you, as the tension seems to grow thicker by the second. You’re not sure how long passed before Matthew breaks the silence, but it was long enough that it startled you when he does. “At least we are even now. Though I’m pretty sure you got to see a lot more than I did.”

Lifting yourself up onto your forearms you turn to him again, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, I thought you’d forgotten. Or maybe you just didn’t want to talk about it with me because you were so angry. I just can’t believe you talked about it with Macy and not me.” He rambles on, but now it was him refusing to look at you. He looks hurt, and your mind races trying to put the pieces together. Then it hits you.

“My birthday.” You say, more to yourself than Matthew, but he nods finally meeting your gaze. “I’m sorry Matt, I just thought if I told her that story it would ease her mind about us. I was too scared to bring it up to you, and then so much time had passed it felt wrong to even talk about it.” Your confession causes Matthew to look even more confused. “Ease her mind? How would that story ease her mind?”

So you tell him. You tell him about how, like everyone else who has met the two of you, Macy assumed something had happened between you. A kiss. A relationship. A hookup. Something. “So I told her the story so she’d understand that even at 17 you were appalled by the sight of me, and how embarrassed I had been. And I told her that was our one and only ‘intimate’ experience.” You make sure to throw air quotes around the term intimate. Your explanation however, did not seem to make Matthew feel better.

“Are you serious? Not once in my life have I ever been ‘appalled’ by your appearance.” He looks extremely offended as he uses air quotes in the most mocking way possible. “Why would you even think that?” You laugh at that, though there is very little humour behind it.

“Matthew, we were 17. I’m not much to look at now, and back then?” You wince at the mere thought of your 17 year old body. “I certainly never had anything like the girls you were into Matty. I’m not stupid it’s okay.” He stares at you now. Mouth open slightly, eyes scanning your face. Waiting, hoping you’d say you were joking. Admit you didn’t see yourself as less than any girl Matthew had ever been with, but you don’t. Instead you stare right back at him, an emotion swimming in your eyes Matthew can’t quite place.

“You really think I ran away because I was grossed out by that whole encounter?” He askes, and you nod. Your eyes dropping to the floor. Matthew lets out a deep laugh, and falls back against the floor again. “Y/n. That is so incredibly far from the truth! I was embarrassed, so embarrassed that I ran the whole way home and locked myself in my room. I then pleaded with Brady to just go without me, and put my name on his gift because I thought you were mad at me. I thought you looked incredible, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever sprung a boner so fast in my life.” Your stomach flutters at his confession. The thought of Matthew thinking about you like that made the want you’d been pushing down for years start to bubble up again. You can’t bring yourself to respond, instead you pick absentmindedly at a loose thread on your shorts. Matthew lets out a loud groan, pulling himself up off the floor entirely.

“Sorry if that made this weird. I hope you understand that you shouldn’t ever compare yourself to any girl. You’re amazing y/n.” You smile up at him and mumble a thank you. It takes everything in you to will away the tears that begin to form in your eyes. “If you don’t believe my story,” Matthew nods to a small box sitting on the coffee table he’d moved earlier. “that is the birthday present I planned to give you that day. It’s the whole reason I walked into your room that day, I wanted you to have it before everyone else showed up.”

With that, Matthew is gone again. A single tear rolls down your cheek as you take in the small box, wrapped in pink wrapping paper. Poorly wrapped you might add. You stand up grabbing the box and a blanket. Wrapping yourself tightly in the blanket, you fall back against the couch examining the package closely.

After twenty minutes of staring at it, you peel away the pink paper with trembling fingers. The dark velvet box, has a sticky note stuck to the top. As you read it, the tears start to fall steadily.

Happy Birthday! I hope you know just how much you mean to me. Hopefully this gift will mean that you never forget me. Love you bug xx-Matty

The little heart he drew at the end pulls a sob out of you. Contrary to the sobs now wracking your body, a smile forms on your face. Slowly, you flip open the small box. Gasping loudly, the box slips from your grasp as both hands come to your face. Although moments ago you wouldn’t have thought it possible, you cry harder now. The necklace is simply beautiful. The small golden ‘M’ makes your heart soar, and break simultaneously.

Your mind runs in circles now. Had you received the gift on the day you were intended to, would things be different? The gift seems more than platonic. You need to confide in someone. You had no idea who to call. You can’t call Brady, he wouldn’t understand. You most definitely can’t call Macy.

Without even thinking you pick up your phone and press on one contact. The phone rings as you press it to your ear. “Hello?”

“It’s beautiful Matt, but it’s too much I can’t take this.” Your voice is shaking and you hope he can’t hear it. Your heart is racing, mind spinning, and nausea swirls through you.

“Y/n/n, keep it please. I bought it years ago, I can’t return it. You’re still my best friend and I want you to have it. We are still friends...” Matthew pauses for a moment, “right?”

“Of course!” You say trying to fight off the urge to tell him you aren’t. You of course would always be friends, but you don’t want that anymore. You can’t continue being a third wheel. “Actually that’s why I went over earlier. I wanted to invite you and Macy out to dinner. Tomorrow night. With me and my boyfriend. If you’re free of course!”

You couldn’t sound more awkward if you tried, but Matthew agrees. You make plans to meet at your favourite diner the following evening, and then say goodnight.

Matthew doesn’t need to know that you slipped the gold chain on after hanging up. Just like you don’t need to know Matthew was currently canceling plans he had previously made with Macy.

———

“Matthew this is-“ You start to introduce the two men standing in front of you, but Matthew quickly interrupts.

“Nathan I know. Nice to uh- see you again I guess?” Nathan let’s out an awkward chuckle as he shakes Matthews hand. “Anyways!” You say breaking the awkward silence that fills the space around you. “Where is Macy anyway?” You ask, taking your seat at the table. Both guys follow suit, and Matthews gaze finally falls to you.

“She sends her apologies, something came up with work. You’re stuck with just me tonight.” He says, sending a wink in Nathan’s direction.

“Tkachuk I swear to god. Be a pest on the ice all you want, but can we for once have a civil meal?” You glare at him across the table, and Nathan sets a hand gently on your shoulder.

“Don’t worry babe, he’s just having some fun.” Nathan says reassuringly. You smile at him, but the smile quickly fades when Matthew speaks up again. “Yeah babe, we’re just having fun.” He laughs mockingly.

Dinner continues a lot like that. Back and forth, both men trying to prove something. Nathan trying to prove to Matthew that he isn’t temporary. Matthew trying to prove to Nathan, that Matthew is a constant in your life and can end this in a second if he wanted. Whatever this was. The pair even argue over who would pay the bill. You end up paying it yourself, as you leave the testosterone at the table to battle it out.

Nathan has to get home, as he has work early tomorrow. So of course Matthew takes it upon himself the drive you back home. The ride is silent, and you fiddle with the chain around your neck the whole way. No words are spoken until Matthew puts the car in park. “String bean know you’re wearing my initial?” He smirks, eyes falling to where your hands still tug at the chain.

“What’s your issue with him?” You spit, anger getting the better of you. “I was nothing but accepting of Macy. I befriended her for you Matthew! Why can you not for once just be nice and do this one thing for me?” You don’t wait for his response, instead you throw yourself out of the vehicle. You forego the elevator, choosing instead to take the stairs to get to your apartment as fast as you can. Once there you slam your door, and bang your forehead against the back of the door.

After a moment of just leaning against the inside of the door a small knock sounds from the other side. “Go away.” You grumble, knowing exactly who is on the other side.

“Bug. Please just listen.” He pauses for a moment and you just let out a shaky breath. “I’m scared you’re settling. I want you to be happy, but I get the feeling he’s not it. I’m sorry I was rude, that was a dick move. I just really care about you, and just because I know I could totally take string bean in a fight, doesn’t mean I want to. I know you’re lonely, and you’re feeling like a third wheel. You’re allowed to date Bug, but I want you to be happy and loved. If it’s really string be- Nathan.” He corrects himself, “If it’s really Nathan you want, then great! I’ll apologize to him, and we can move on. But Y/n, I think you and I both know he’s not. Find what you want and go get it. You deserve it.” Tears are flowing silently down your cheeks. Matt is right. Nathan is not what you want, he never will be. It’s Matt, it’s always been Matt.

After a minute or two of trying to compose yourself, you really think about Matthew’s words. Find what you want and go get it. He’s right, how can you ever be happy if you don’t at least try to chase what you want? So with that you fling open your door, ready to run into Matthew’s arms. To tell him how you feel, to tell him that it’s him you want.

As if the world was trying to play a cruel trick on you, it’s not Matt’s arms you’re greeted with. Instead of being held tightly in his warm embrace, you find yourself surrounded by a cold and empty hallway. It’s so quiet, you can practically hear the sound of your heart breaking all over again. You laugh humourlessly at how stupid you feel. You had hoped Matt’s words of encouragement were a sign. A sign that he could see your harboured feelings, and wanted nothing more than for you to act on them.

Matt watches you through the peephole in his apartment door, heart shattering as you shrink back into your apartment. Nothing was fixed. Macy had told him to fix this, but he’d only manage to make it worse.

———

“Why’d you call her that?” Macy presses, moments after her and Matt walk into his apartment. Matthew shrugs, which is not helping the situation. He could just be honest, and tell Macy that he and Brady had always called you bug.

It all started one summer afternoon when you had thrown a total fit after Brady had pointed out a bug had landed in your hair. For months Brady and Matthew would randomly yell ‘BUG!’ while pointing at you to get a reaction. At some point they just started calling you bug. It was stupid and platonic. At least it was for Brady. The way Matthew said it was always different. It gave you butterflies, and Matthew would be lying if he said he didn’t love the pet name.

“It’s just a nickname.” He defends, walking to the kitchen. She follows closely behind him, watching closely as he grabs a bottle of water from the fridge. He leans against the counter taking a long drink, as Macy stands with her arms crossed waiting for more. Matthew was getting frustrated with the whole situation. “Are you seriously upset about me calling her bug?” He asks in disbelief.

Macy shakes her head, laughing humourlessly with a roll of her eyes. “No Matthew. I’m not. It’s a cute little nickname and that’s absolutely fine. It’s the fact that when she’s around you’re different. It’s like you’re scared to stand too close to me, like she might be upset about it. You tiptoe around her, you didn’t even want to tell her about me Matt. Are you ashamed of me?” The emotion evident in Macy’s eyes, is something Matt hasn’t seen from her before. Something he wasn’t expecting.

“Macy, I am not ashamed of you at all. I-it’s just that Y/n has no one in Calgary, and I’ve always been her bestfriend. When I started seeing you I was scared she’d cling to whoever she felt could fill the spot I had to step back from. And she did, and she isn’t happy with him. I’m sorry that you suffered because of it.” He tries to explain, walking to the girl standing in front of him. He grabs her hips and places a kiss to her temple as tears threate to slip down her cheeks.

“I’m your girlfriend Matt. Start acting like it.”

———

“How did it go?” Brady asks, his goofy smile way too close to the screen. He FaceTimed you a few times a month usually. Checking in, on you and Matt both. He knows you had gone to dinner with Matt and Nathan two nights ago now. You know he called looking to say ‘I told you so’, but you know he won’t be able to. This was one time you truly wish he could.

“Uh it. Well, it wasn’t great.” You frown, and Brady’s smile quickly falls as well. “Nathan and I broke up.”

“WHAT!? Do I have to fight a man, because I have done it before and I’ll do it again?” He jokes to lighten the mood that quickly shifted.

“I actually broke up with him...” Brady’s face twists in confusion. Trying to piece together what he’s missing. A week ago you were so stressed out about Matthew not liking this guy, that you didn’t even want them to meet. Now you had broken up with him? Needless to say Brady was baffled. “He wasn’t what I wanted, I was settling.” You mumble a little embarrassed, as you fiddle with the chain that hasn’t left your neck.

“Y/n... you have to move on.” Brady says gently. Certainly not the reaction you were expecting.

“Brady, I’m fine. I broke up with him. I’m over Nathan, honestly there was nothing to get over.” You shake your head, bringing a smile to your face to emphasize the fact you are okay.

“Not Nathan.” Brady sighs shaking his head. It doesn’t make sense, but judging by the serious tone of his voice and the gentle smile. You aren’t going to like where this was going. “You need to get over Matthew.”

The minute the words leave his mouth you want to scream and cry. Tell him he’s wrong, and an asshole for even assuming that. You want to tell him he’s right. To ask him for help. You want to ask him why you have to get over him, and explain that you can’t. You want to ask him so many questions, but only one comes out; “Why have I never been good enough for him Brady?” You’re crying now. No actually, you’re sobbing. You’re inconsolable, and Brady is in Ottawa.

“Y/n it’s not like that.” He doesn’t know how to let you down easy. How can he explain that Matthew loves everything about you, but would never love you the way you love him? How can someone explain that you were exactly what Matthew wants, and that’s why you’ll never be his. Matthew can’t lose you. He can’t wreck what you have. Brady doesn’t know that Matthew used to want you that way. All he knows is that anytime he, Chantal, Taryn, or Keith brought it up Matthew would laugh and say he could never date you. You are his bestfriend. The truth is, Matthew knows he isn’t good enough. Not for you. No one ever will be. You are perfect to him.

“Forget it.” You bark, more aggressively than Brady deserves, but you are hurt. You have never talked to anyone about how you feel about Matthew. Having Brady call you out like that terrifies you. Who else knows? Taryn? Chantal? Does Matthew know? Just the thought of it makes your stomach churn. You immediately end the FaceTime call, not allowing Brady to say anything else.

He tries calling back. You ignore him, just like you ignore the constant stream of texts. He even has Taryn trying to get ahold of you. Of course he does. You shut off your phone, and curl up on your couch. The bad reality tv show playing softly in the background can’t even keep your attention. You instead, stare at the coffee table. It’s still pushed farther to one side of your living room, right where Matt left it. You continue to stare at it, your whole body feeling numb, until finally sleep takes over.

———

Matthew knows something is up as soon as Brady calls him. “What happened Brady?” Matthew asks, concern for you beating out any rational thoughts. He knows how pathetic he sounds, and prays his brother doesn’t pick up on it. As soon as Brady mentions your name, Matthew demands more information, but Brady won’t tell him what happened.

“I’m sure she’s fine Matt, I just upset her and now she won’t answer my calls. Please just check on her and tell her I’m sorry.” Brady says, before abruptly being hung up on. Again.

Matthew quickly makes his way to your door, and lets himself in. Sure he should knock, but he knows if you are upset you likely won’t answer anyway. The sight that meets Matthew when he enters your apartment makes his heart burst. There you are, curled up in a blanket fast asleep, hand clutching the pendant around your neck. He tries his best to stop the feeling in his gut as he realizes how domestic this moment feels.

Matthew gathers you in his arms as gently as he can, and carries you to your bedroom. As he lays you down, you adjust yourself slightly, but it is clear you are out like a light. “You’ll find him bug.” Matt whispers as he places a gentle kiss to your hairline. “The perfect guy is going to come along and sweep you off your feet. You’ll have that big wedding you’ve always wanted, a couple beautiful little babies, and I’ll be there cheering you on. You’re perfect bug, never settle.” Matthew fights back the lump that forms in his throat, as he pushes the hair gently from your face. “I wish it could’ve been me.” He says it so quietly that if you had been awake you still may not have heard him. So he leaves, pushing all those thoughts away and trying to remember that you’ll always be his best friend. Just his best friend.

———

“Well if it isn’t Matthew’s better half!” Mark greets you as you find your way into the backyard. You somehow got an invite to the teams’ end of the season BBQ, and now here you are already getting chirped by the captain.

“Easy there Gio, Matt has a girlfriend now remember?” You joke back with a wink, but you feel a twinge of sadness. You don’t have much time to think about it though, as the captain throws his arm over your shoulder and leans down to whisper in your ear. “I’ve always liked you better though, not sure why he’d pass up on you.” The blush that floods your cheeks makes your whole body feel hot with embarrassment. You know he’s joking, but it does feel good to hear it.

Mark leads you deeper into the yard, as you say hi to everyone. “There she is!” Your head snaps around quickly as you hear Matt’s voice. As soon as your eyes land on him, you notice his are already on you. “Hey Matty!” You greet with a smile as he wraps you in his arms. He smells like sweat and beer, and he refuses to let you out of his grasp. That is until you hear someone clear their throat, and he pulls away awkwardly.

“Macy! How’ve you been?” You greet her with a big smile and pull her into a hug. She responds quietly, and soon after excuses herself to get a drink. You send Matt a questioning look, but he only shrugs and drags you to the beer pong table announcing you are his partner.

That’s how your afternoon goes, beating everyone in beer pong with Matt as your partner. You’re slowly getting tipsy, and subsequently warmer. Peeling your top off, Johnny Gaudreau whistles loudly from across the table. You are wearing a pretty revealing red bikini top, but given the fact you are slightly intoxicated Johnny’s reaction doesn’t bother you. In fact it is welcomed as you send him a wink.

“Hey Gaudreau! How about you stop staring at my friends chest and throw the damn ball?” Matt growls beside you. You bump your hip with his, and furrow your brows at him silently asking if he’s okay. He shakes his head gently in dismissal as he smiles at you.

Macy sits quietly to your left, watching you all play. She watches the way Matt places his hands on your hips to help you get in position. Watches as he lifts you into the air spinning you around after you win a round. Watches as Matthew tries to advert his gaze as you peel your shirt off, his neck turning red, and not because of the hot sun. The straw for Macy was when she seew the emotions on Matt’s face as Johnny hits on you. His entire body tensing, as he grips the edge of the table. Why was he so protective of you? Would Matthew not be happy if two of his best friends dated? It is in that moment that it becomes clear to her. It has nothing to do with him not wanting you to be with Johnny. He wants you to be with him.

———

“Everything okay? You’ve barely said a thing to me all day.” Matt asks when he and Macy finally make it back to his apartment. She sighs loudly, starting to gather anything of hers laying around the apartment.

“You were busy having fun Matt, I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that. Or anything for that matter.” She responds, though her words only confuse him more. She just sends a soft smile in his direction as she shoves more things into her bag.

“Aren’t you staying?” He asks, a small pout forming on his face. Macy shakes her head, turning toward Matt. Her face is apologetic, but mostly unreadable to Matthew.

“You know you’re in love with her right?” Macy blurts out, and quickly clarifies. “Y/n, you love her.”

“Since when?” Matthew shoots back, way too defensively.

“Since pretty much always. That’s why I’m breaking up with you.” She smiles sadly closing the distance between the two. Placing a small kiss to his cheek, she whispers a small apology.

Matthew opens his mouth to protest, ask her to stay. Tell her she’s wrong, and that he loves her, not you. He can’t though, because it would be a lie. She knows it, and so does he. So he watches as she leaves, an uneasy feeling in his stomach as a single tear falls down his face. What has he done?

———

You decide to take a few summer classes to help make your work load for the upcoming school year a little more manageable. Choosing to stay in Calgary for the summer, instead of traveling back to St. Louis with Matthew to see your family. Matthew tries to convince you to go, but you tell him you can’t. You need some distance from him anyway.

———

It was distance you got. You barely talk to him all summer, and tonight will be the first time you’ve seen him since that night at the BBQ.

“How is Matthew doing?” Elias’ girlfriend Annica asks you, as the two of you take your seats at the home opener. You shrug and sigh taking a sip of your drink. “I don’t know, I’ve barely spoken to him since the BBQ at Gio’s.” You admit, a small frown on your face.

“Wait? Did he not tell you!?” She practically shrieks in your ear. You just give her a confused look, a wide smile stretching across her face. “About him and Macy!”

Immediately your stomach drops. You brace yourself for the announcement. Maybe they’ve moved in together? Got engaged? Having a baby? All of the thoughts make you feel sick, but you smile over at Annica trying to hide your emotions. “No I haven’t spoken to either of them really. What are they finally tying the knot?” You try and joke, but really you’re terrified of the answer. Annica’s face falls slightly. Confusion written all over her face.

“They broke up.” Annica explains in a light tone. Almost as if she was explaining it to a child. “Oh.” Was all you manage to choke out, as Annica watches you. She’s waiting for more of a reaction, but you can only sit in shock. What happened? Why didn’t he tell you? Why did no one tell you?

You can barely sit still through the game, you’re mind is running wild. Why had Matt not talked to you about this? Why had he barely spoken to you at all? Was he okay? Who broke up with who? Why do you care so much? Soon enough though all of your questions will be answered. You are standing next to Annica outside the locker rooms, tapping your foot nervously. She asks if you are okay, and all you can do is nod. Elias makes his way out of the dressing room and over to you. He gives you both a quick hug and you congratulate him on their win. “Matt will be out in a few minutes.” He smiles at you, and you tell the couple to have a good night as they leave. Gio and Johnny both stop to talk to you on their way out.

Johnny hangs back and waits with you. “How was your summer? Finally got a break from the pest I hear.” He teases, leaning against the wall beside you. You smirk up at him, “My summer was great! Significantly quieter than I’m used to, but I enjoyed it. It’s nice to see you again though, how was your summer?” He smiles brightly down at you as he launches into some long story about how crazy his training was. You try to listen, and seem interested, but that becomes significantly harder as Matthew finally comes out of the dressing room.

He is wearing a navy blue suit with a white dress shirt. The top three buttons undone, and his tie just draping loosely around his neck. His hair is damp and falls across his forehead, he is staring at his phone still not having noticed you. He almost walks right past you, but you speak up grabbing his attention. “Any time for your biggest fan hotshot?” His eyes snap up from his phone, a grin replacing his previously shocked expression.

“My biggest fan huh?” He smirks pulling you into a tight hug. You grip onto his suit jacket tightly not wanting to let go as you hum into his chest. “That why you’re wearing that necklace?” He teases and you blush trying to hide your face even further in his chest. “Shut up,” You mumble, “I missed you.” He kisses the top of your head mumbling about missing you too. Johnny clears his throat awkwardly, as you quickly pull away from Matthew.

“Well I’m going to head out now, goodnight you two.” Johnny winks at you as he walks away. You turn back towards Matthew to see him smiling down at you, and your stomach drops. A small frown makes its way onto your face as you remember exactly what you came to talk to Matthew about. “Matt, we need to talk.” His face falls a little bit, but he nods and grabs your hand in his. He starts walking further into the building, and you follow. Eyes trained on your hand in his, heart beating rapidly in your chest. You’re so nervous, that you hardly even realize Matthew is leading you up the steps and into two seats in the top row of the arena. As the two of you sit down, you don’t look at him. Instead you stare down at the ice, now only lit by the emergency lights causing a strange glow. You’ve never seen the arena like this, so quiet and lifeless. Your internal thoughts seem amplified in the silence, but you can’t seem to find the words to say what you’re thinking.

You’re not sure how long the two of you sit in silence before Matthew let’s out a sigh, turning towards you. “St. Louis isn’t the same without you.” He says quietly, a sad smile on his face as you finally meet his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Macy?” You blurt out, face heating up in embarrassment once again. Matt stares at you for a moment, before dropping his eyes to his hands that are now fidgeting in his lap.

“I didn’t know what to say.” He mumbles out, playing with his fingers. You shake your head and sigh, pulling your eyes away from the distracting movements of his hands. You decide to examine the ice once again, wrapping your arms across your chest. You’re trying to brace yourself for how badly this might end.

“You didn’t know how to tell your best friend you broke up with your first really serious girlfriend?” Your voice is probably too accusatory, but you’re hurt. How can he keep so much of his life from you? Your mind is running in circles as you wait for a response, attempting to hold yourself tighter.

“Yeah like it’s that easy!” Matthew’s voice is significantly more angry than you are expecting, and your heart rate increases immediately. “I say ‘We broke up.’ And then you ask a million questions about what happened and why, I didn’t know how to say it!”

You look at him now. His eyes are glossy, and his face is red. In anger or embarrassment? Who knows, maybe both. “Matty, I know you really cared about her. It’s not easy to talk about, but if you’re going to move on you have to talk to someone.” You make sure to keep your voice gentle as you speak, “I want to be that person for you Matt, but if I’m not that’s okay. Just please talk to someone, you can’t stay broken forever.”

Matthew laughs at you, but it doesn’t make you feel better. The laugh is humourless, and you can hear the lack of emotion behind it. “That’s the part I can’t explain Y/n, you don’t get it! I’m not broken about it, and I should be! I was in love!” He’s frustrated now, as he runs his hands over his face and through his hair.

“Matthew, it’s okay. People fall out of love all the time!” You place a hand on his bicep to try and sooth him. It seems to work as you feel his muscles relax under your touch. He sighs softly beside you, as he lifts his eyes to meet yours once again.

“I didn’t fall out of love, I’m still in love.” Your brows furrow in confusion, as you search his eyes for any clue about what could be going on inside his head. “Just not with Macy.”

“T-there’s someone else?” You are taken aback, and now your mind is spinning. Did he cheat on Macy? Who is she? Matthew just nods in response. “Have I met her? Oh my god please don’t tell me it’s like one of the WAGs or something!” You are rambling uncontrollably, unable to comprehend what Matthew is trying to say. “Matthew did you cheat on Mac-“ Thankfully he was quick to cut you off.

“It’s you.”

You freeze. Eyes practically popping out of your skull, you open and close your mouth repeatedly. Sure you might look like a fish out of water, but that’s exactly how you feel. You must have misheard what he is saying. Right? The ‘you’ had to be someone else. The look Matthew is giving you right now though, a look of total honesty, a look that is teetering on the edge of disappointment. That look tells you all you need to know. He means you. He is in love with you.

“Since when?” You croak out. Your entire body is trembling with nerves, still terrified he will take it back. Maybe you’re being punked.

Matthew leans closer to you, uncrossing your arms that were still wrapped tightly across your chest. You can feel your heartbeat in your throat as he takes your trembling hands in his. His hands feel different now, softer. They are so much bigger than your own, and you’ve never noticed until now just how right they felt wrapped around your own.

Matthew releases on of your hands, as he brings one to your chin. He tilts your head so you’re looking into his eyes again. “Since always.” He smiles, pressing his forehead to yours. You subconsciously lick your lips, and Matthew takes that as a sign to lean in. His lips hover just above yours, but he doesn’t close the gap.

“Matty-“ you whine quietly, and he smirks in response.

“What’s wrong bug?” He’s teasing you now, and he knows it.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment since the tenth grade, please just kiss me!” Your pleads are finally answered as Matthew finally presses his lips to yours. It’s firm and certain, and intoxicating. Gripping his suit jacket, you pull him closer deepening the kiss even more. Matthew groans against your lips, one hand cradling your neck, the other gripping your hip tightly.

The kiss starts getting more intense, the years of built up tension and pining being shared in this one kiss. Matthew, despite not wanting to stop, pulls away first. Your lips chase his, not wanting the moment to end. Scared that when it does, you’ll wake up. Like this is all a dream. Or even worse, it’ll end, and Matthew tells you he was wrong.

“Easy tiger!” He chuckles, tucking some hair behind your ear. Matthew is positive you’ve never looked so beautiful. You’re lips are pink and swollen, face flushed lightly, and your eyes are big and bright as they look into his.

“Did you mean it?” You ask quietly, “When you said that you loved me, because Matty I can’t do this if you aren’t in. I can’t lose you.” Tears are stinging your eyes now, as your voice cracks with emotion. You can’t lose your best friend, and that has become more clear to you after not being with him all summer.

“I’m not going anywhere, if that’s what you want.” He looks at you hopefully. Your heart is beating so loudly in your chest, you’re almost positive he can hear it.

“Matthew of course this is what I want. I’ve always wanted you.” You pause momentarily, as you see a small smile spread across his face. His dimples now on full display. “I love you Tkachuk. I always have.”

He wastes no time kissing you again. Your hands tangle in his hair that’s still slightly damp, and his hands cup both of your cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles against your lips. You push him back, so you can look at him.

“Why are you apologizing?” You’re confused now, as you immediately begin building your walls back up. You’re waiting now, waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know this felt too perfect.

“Because,” he sighs, shoulders slumping under your gaze. “I should have done that so long ago. Instead I let you think you weren’t good enough. I let you go on believing that I didn’t love you. Brady told me about what you said, about not being good enough. I hope you know now that it was never like that. You are, if anything, too good for me. I was scared, and stupid, and I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Your heart breaks a little for him. You can see the remorse and guilt written all over his face. “Well Matthew. I can accept that apology under one condition.” You say teasingly, running your hand over his shoulder giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You take me out on a date.”

Matthew smiles brightly down at you, and places a soft kiss to your forehead. “On one condition.” He whispers, lips still pressed against your skin. “You let me take you out as my girlfriend.”

“Anyone ever told you that you’re just a big sap Tkachuk?” You smirk. You don’t think you’ve ever felt so happy.

“Actually my girlfriend has, just now. She’s kinda cute.” You slap his chest playfully and roll your eyes.

“Take me home Tkachuk.” You announce, pushing yourself to your feet. Matthew copies your actions, adding a little salute to make you laugh. It does the job, and Matthew has you laughing the whole way to his car. As he opens the door for you, you lean into his chest pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“You’re perfect.” Matthew says after the two of you are finally settled in to your respective seats in his car.

“Since when?” You scoff, rolling your eyes playfully.

“Always.”

#Since When?#matthew tkachuk #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #nhl writing #hockey imagines #hockey fanfiction #hockey writing #Matthew Tkachuk imagines #Matthew Tkachuk fanfiction #Matthew Tkachuk writing #Matthew Tkachuk x Reader

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itsmadamehydra · 3 years

Text

My Savior || Wayne McCullough

A/N: Just some teenage girl trying to write the story inside her head, hope u like it.

Pairing: Wayne McCullough x oc

Warnings: rape, intention of rape, harassment, blood mention, bullying, language (a little strong)

.................

I've always like to watch him by far, he just seems different from the rest (and oh boy, he is).

The first time I saw him I was in 7th grade. I was just one more girl of the many others that her tities just had started to show and my period started to visit me. I remember that day clearly, I was sitting at the hallway with my bestfriend at the time, eating infront of our lockers when I saw him.

"Am telling ya girl, the answer of number 5 was c." I said trying to reason with her about the science test answers "I told you that if u needed help to study, I could help ya." I smile at her and move my arm upward to touch her shoulder

"Yeah, yeah, I know...are you sure it was not D?" she said frowning her eyebrows once more. We stayed in silence for a sec before bursting into laughter and tears

Little by little our laughs started to fade, allowing ears to hear the background and aswell some loud voices, it sounded like an argument but by the hears of it a fight was going to start soon. "What you think is happening over there?" Cassie murmured, I stared at the end of the hallway where apparently was were the voices were coming from.

"I don't know..." my lips formed a thin line while I was thinking about what could have been happening in there, "You wanna, you know, go and see?" I looked back at my friend

"Freak yeah" she laughed grabbing my hand and running down the hallway to see the soon to be fight.

Once we got there, there was a mass of students surrounding what appeared to be the ones who where arguing. "Ugh, I can't see, I hate been so small." I said, "Hey, that smallness is beautiful and you know you can use that in your own benefit" Cassia said and winked at me.

"I mean, yeah but I can't-" my word stopped at the moment I heard a want sounded and I believe to be a punch in the face. "You saw that!?" Cassie said, "That was freaking awesome, please tell me you saw it!" "Um, nah Cassie, I cant see a crap" i said while trying to find a whole where to see through.

It was only a matter of seconds until more punches were heard. I started pushing people more frantically, I wanted to see what was happening. When I get pass a few amount of studens I almost slipped, looked sown to see what was it and it was stains of blood, only a few but still.

"Oh gosh, disgusting." When I look up only a few students are still in the cafeteria and a guy wearing a grey hoddie was just there, staring at the bloodie face of another guy. I stared back at the hoddie guy and noticed a little hammer in his hand, and the words just came out of my mouth without even noticing, "Why the hammer? Want to be a constructed or something?" He just stared at me and pass by me without saying a word and keeping a neutral face.

"Who the hell was that crazy ass weirdo?" I hear Cassie's voice behind me. "I don't know" I responded, "But I will know...one day."

"Ok,ok, am not going to get in between your little search thingi but am sure he is not good news." Cassie said, "You saw what he did, and he has a FREAKING hammer, y/n! Covered in blood y/n!" She grabbed my shoulders from behind, "I think we all understood the message, stay the fuck away from him, honey."

And I just smiled.

Months later I learned his name. Wayne, Wayne McCullough. Fits the ring if you ask me. Everyone was speaking about how violent, crazy and wierdo he was, about how he was going to show up at your house to beat the hell put of you.

I just observed him by far, well, I like to think that I noticed him. I noticed how he usually beats up those who are some assholes jerks that have only one brain cell as much. Noticed that he is not much of a talker and a shy boy. Noticed how he makes his lips thin when he gets lost in thoughts. How he closes his fist when he is about to do something. His strangely high pain tolerance. His pale skin and dark hair appeared to me to be very llamative and aswell his strength. He was and is skinny but somehow has a great strength, maybe do to the unincredible amounts of fights he gets in. Experience makes the master is what the say...right?

Years went by, we entered to highschool and the nervousness along with the fast beating, sweating and butterflies were still there every time i either tought about him or saw him walking around.

Cassie stayed with me for a while until she decided to join the group of nasty ass bitches with no brain cells who believed no one was better than them. While I...well, I stayed small for a big part I guess, always with good grades, teachers love me and try to be nice with every one I guess.

Everything was going great until Cassie along with some guys recorded me somehow while being drunk and them trying to overpass the boundaries, and let me tell ya.. that was just the start.

The had videos of me at the school bathroom, pictures of my underwear under my skirts and dresses, them trying to touch me. I had to learn to defend myself, stopped using skirts, dresses, shorts even do I loved wearing the. Replace my shoes with tennis and always had hair ties.

"Y/n, wake up! You're going to be late for school, don't think ama wait for you!" I mom yelled.

"Yes, mom! Dont worry, am up!" I run down the stairs with my backpack, went to the kitchen, grabbed an apple and went straight to the car.

"Oh for God sake, y/n" she said went she looked at me and noticed my new hair style.

"What? You don't like it? I just cut it a little." I satered at her innocently

"Your father is not gonna like it and you know it." She said and the stress lines appeared in her forehead, "You know this is his weekend and-"

She couldn't finish her sentence because I started taking, "Am not going to that dickheads house, mother." I said strainly, "Don't want to see his and face of that bitch he cheated you with..." i lowly said but loud enough to hear.

"I know, honey but you have to and besides you get to see your brother!" She patted my thigh, "Haven't seen him in a while right?" She said with a sad tone

"You should be the one seeing him...not me." I stared outside the window, there were just some trees and houses and garbage.

Mom and dad divorced a while back, he cheated on her. The house was a mess that day, screams and broken glass everywhere. Sammy was lucky, he was at grandma's but I was home...listening to every single word. That was also the first time a sneaked out and the first time I sort-of spoke to Wayne.

"What are you doing here?" I heard someone said behind me, I looked and it was fucking Wayne

"Just trying to have some quietness i guess..." I stared at my fingers and started playing with them because of my nervousness, "...What are you doing here?" I asked softly

And he stayed silent...the whole time after that. Either way, his company was nice and the side profile, ufff, amazing.

"Ok, we are here." I stared at the building for a sec before giving my mother a kiss in her cheek and entered to the building.

"Hey y/n! Nice ass!" That was the jerk of all jerks, Jonathan.

I turned around and stared at him, "Oh yeah?" He nodded, "Want to see me shop of your dick?" Changed my tone while saying that into a lower and more serious tone. He just stared at me with sealed lips and left.

I continued walking to my locker and I come to see tgat my freaking lock is broken, I search in all the spaces but nothing is missing.

"Come on! They had just changed me of locker!" I silently yelled. Started grabbing my books for the next few classes when I felt a hand in my shoulder, by instinct I grabbed the wrist, pushed the person against the locker and added pressure in the throat with my other arm.

"Hey y/n" Orlando smiled, "New move?" I chuckled and removed my arm, now, standing face to face I respond

"You know you shouldn't do that Orlando bunny." I laugh st the nickname I gave him a few time ago. Orlando was one of the few FEW people who talked to me, well, he talked to everyone but still.

"I know... I just forgot I guess man." He looked down, "Y/n...have your tities grown bigger?" His face looked confused.

I slapped his head and punched his shoulder, "Could you please stop looking and thinking 'bout tities when am around you?"

"I mean, yeah sure...and sorry about your lock." He points the locker, "Wayne thought it was still his but since-" I cut him off before he could continue

"Wayne?" I asked confused

"Yeah, Is tha-" i cut him off again

"Why did he tho?" I murmured staring at my lock in hand.

"It used to be his locker but oh well...he missed school for 3 weeks and yeah." He grabs his backpacks laces after explaining.

"Oh...ok, is he still here tho?" I looked at Orlando

"I guess..." he was about to say pther thing when the bell ring and we started to go toour classes, "See you later gorgeous!" He yells from the corner of the hallway.

I stayed there...just staring at my lock for a while, then order my things fast and left to class. What I didn't know was that someone was watching at me.

Three days later, i was walking back home and i heard s car going at full speed and nasty comments were started to be listend. I kept walking trying tk pretend they didn't exist when the car is suddenly over the sideway and infront of me.

"YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME ASSHOLES!!" I yelled.

"But...you are bot dead right, bitch?" Jonathan said getting out of the car. There were five, 2 guys and 3 girls. "Don't prefer to suck my dick and be my slut, promise I'll pay a good amount." He said infront of me,

"She is already a slut baby." Veronica said

"I bet she has sleeped with half school, wouldn't surprise me if you haven been org*e or something." You know, comments are comments, you are the one who decide what hurt you and whats does not, but being Cassie the one who said that...broke my freaking heart.

I couldn't stand it anymore, wanted to leave the place so i came up with a plan very fast. I walked closer to Jonathan trying to be the most seductive I could, touched his chest, abs and got closer to his ear and said, "You are going to regret everything" Punched him with all my strenght in this genitiles, stomp on his feet, punched his nose and ran the faster I could out of there.

"You bitch!" I heard from far but i continued running, I couldn't stop, i was scared, didn't know what could happen if the get me. I could hear the car engines behind me, but i didn't stop.

I was close a bridge, ran underneath it, passed some houses but i could still hear the voices and car. My legs hurt, i needed to catch my breath, i could hear my heart beat, my body felt on fire. When I less expected am suddenly trapped, there were some abandoned buildings and warehouses but no way to get put of there. This was it, my end.

"Couldn't escape from me you nasty little bitch!?" I heard his voice, i was never one to pray but believe when i say i begged to God to save me. "You ain't going anywhere...bitch" he was behind me, I could sense it.

My hair was pulled, he pulls me by my hair to his car and i notice that it's just him and another guy. Am not getting out of here.

"We are going to have so much fun!" He licks my cheek and i try to kick him wherever.

"HELP!" I yelled, "SOMEBODY PLEASE, HELP!" my voice sounded horrific, like if i hadn't drank a single drop of water in ages, "please" y murmure my last pledge before he finally puts me over the capo of his car.

"No one's gonna help you, you slut." He says, the other guy was just watching and standing still, doing nothing.

I gave up, didn't even notice I was crying until I tasted the salt in my lips. I felt him over me, unbucking my pants and then...i didnt felt his weight anymore, instead, i heard a cry of pain, and then another cry, and another and another.

I lifted my head and there he was, grey hoddie and little hammer in hand...my savior. I smiled.

My smile just grew bigger and bigger every second I saw that boy swing that motherfucker hammer, every second that Jonathan's blood was spilled. I lool around in search pf the pther guy scared that he might try to grab but I get calm when i see him unconscious on the floor.

A few minuts later th cries stop and i look up, Jonathan was missing 3 teeths and face covered with blood, i think he could even have a brocken rib or something.

Am sitting on top of the car's capo when a feel a slight, fragile touch.

"You ok?" Wayne askes pulling a string of my hair behind my ear.

"...now I am." I smile to him and he returns a little small tiny one with a grin. I was about to say something else when he suddenly speaks

"Want to be my girlfriend or whatever?" He says looking exhausted, I chuckle

"Try a little harder and I might be." I say soflty with a small thin smile and he avoids my eyes but I still get to notice a small blush.

...................

Hey! So, yeah. This is my first ever published thing. Hope you enjoyed it and if you want a part two or to keep writing, am open to any suggestion! Am not very good with the warnings section so if you could help me with it, i would totally apreciate that!

Thank you for reading,

#fanfic #wayne mccullough #wayne mccullough x reader #wayne mccullough x y/n #fanfiction #wayne mccullough fanfic #wayne mccullough fanfiction #wayne #wayne x reader

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pockyxx · 3 years

Text

“ christmas day ”

iwaizumi x fem! reader

genre: domestic fluff. (dad! iwa, uncle issei + uncle takahiro, mentions of uncle toru)

the sun poured into your bedroom, comfy blankets draped over you and your husband’s intertwined bodies. it was christmas morning and you knew that you children would come storming in any moment.

as expected, tiny foot steps pattered along the hardwood floors. you smiled to yourself pretending to still be asleep while you felt the weight of the bed shift just the tiniest bit.

“mommy wake up it’s christmas!” your youngest, misa shook you lightly as you acted as if you just woke up.

“what really it is?” you shook your husband, “hajime did you know it was christmas?!” your daughter giggled as hajime woke up himself.

he rubbed his tired eyes before getting a look at his two girls. he gave an equally shocked expression, causing more light hearted giggles to erupt from misa.

“does hiroki know?” he asked, groggy morning voice sounding in the quiet room. this caused a laugh to come from the hallway. peeking head through the door frame, hiroki your oldest child tried to over his mouth with his hands.

hiroki looked more like iwaizumi than you, in face the spitting image of him when he was young. he was two years older than misa who was 4.

“i tried to tell misa not to wake you but she didn’t listen.” he inched closer to the bed. hajime laughed, gesturing him to come to the bed along with misa.

as both your kids sat in between both of you, hajime jumped up, tickiling their bellies and roaring like godzilla.

from the squeals and giggles from your children, you couldn’t help but close your eyes and enjoy the sound of their voices.

you pulled misa closer to you, “hey bug did santa come?” her eyes widened with a child like glee before she grabbed her brothers arm, dragging him out while exclaiming ‘we need to see if he ate our cookies!’

hajime looked over at you with a wide smile, pressing a long passionate kiss onto your lips. as he pulled back he’d transferred his smile onto you.

“let’s go, the kids are waiting.” you both got up, the morning routine had been put aside for the day. hajime looked just excited as your kids, scrambling to get his cellphone ready for pictures.

both of you walked down the hall walking in on misa and hiroki gasping at the missing cookies and half drunk mug of milk.

misa ran up to hajime, pulling on the brim of his sweater, “daddy, daddy santa ate our cookies!” she gave a toothy smile.

“and he drank our milk!” hiroki added, running over to you. you beamed down at the two children who eagerly rushed to their presents under the tree.

“alright bug.” hajime looked at misa, then to hiroki, “bubs, which gifts do you guys want to open first?” he let the kids scan over the gifts, both picking out ones with similar wrapping.

“good choice,” you sat down at the couch, “those are both from uncle toru, he sent them from argentina.” it was clear by her expression misa was thinking, ‘where’s argentina?’

nonetheless both of your precious children began unwrapping and tearing at the boxes. misa shot up at her gift, holding it up in praise.

“look what uncle toru got me!” she waved up a small white puppy stuffed animal with a small purple colour and a brown spot in the shape of a heart.

she hugged it with all her might while hiroki pulled out his own gift, his eyes wide in marvel.

“uncle toru got me a dinosaur kit!” both kids were equally energetic and it was only the first present. hajime smiled as he video tapped, asking “alright what do we say to uncle toru?”

both chimed in with thank yous as hajime stopped recording and sent the video to his friend.

the morning was filled with opening presents and slowly sipping coffee as the children had already started playing with their toys and trinkets.

hajime sat next to you in the living room as misa played pretend with her new puppy and hiroki was trying to set the new volleyball given to him that year. your husband nudged you a little, slipping his hand in yours and bringing it up for a kiss.

“merry christmas darling.” he winked at you as you laughed, looking at the time, getting up to put the christmas turkey into the over. in the kitchen you could hear the hushed voices of your kids along with their father.

you walked back into the room to see what they were up to and all of them straightened their backs, hiroki and misa holding something behind their backs.

“go on give mommy her gift.” hajime placed his hand on hiroki’s back and he stepped forward, pulling out a box.

“oh, i made a card too mommy!” the card in question was mostly just a picture that misa drew herself of your small family. of course there was hajime, standing tall with exaggerated spiked hair, with you right next to him, a small heart connecting both of you. then misa had drawn both herself and her brother holding ice cream cones, why? who knew but it was adorable.

“thank you so much babies! should i open the gift now?” both kids nodded vigorously as you shot a cheeky look to hajime. you sat down on the couch, hiroki wiggling in on your left and misa to your right.

“hm, i wonder what it could be...” you played along, slowly unraveling the ribbon keeping the box together. gasping when you saw it, you looked up at your family. “this is so pretty.”

“the kids helped me pick it out.” hajime rubbed the back of his neck as you picked up the small bracelet, “will you help me put it on?”

misa quickly ran over to your aid and snapped on the bracelet. you pecked her cheek and pulled hiroki in as well and planted a kiss on his cheek, to which he crinkled his nouse. “you too.” you smiled up at your husband who leaned down and kissed you.

both you children gagged slightly in a joking manner while you and hajime laughed at their expressions. you looked at the time.

“now you two need to go clean your room and get dressed— uncle issei and uncle takahiro are coming over for dinner.”

—

“alright, room check bug!” hajime called out before entering his daughters room. he held his fingers to his chin like he was deep in thought.

“hmm... nice work bug.” he swooped down rubbed her head causing her to jump.

“daddy your gonna ruin my hair!” she pouted, hajime took her up into his arms and laughed,

“you really are you mother’s daughter. let’s go see if your brother did just a good of a job.” he walked with misa in his grasp as he pushed open hiroki’s door.

the boy sat in front of his mirror, trying to properly button up his dress shirt. hajime placed misa down, telling her to go help you set the table.

“dad can you help me?” he frowned, flapping his arms down after failing to fix his shirt. hajime chuckeled, kneeling down.

“‘course bubs.” he smiled, carefully realigning the buttons so hiroki’s shirt would be even. hajime put his hands on his son’s shoulders, smiling profusely before giving him the same pat on the head that he gave his daughter.

the doorbell rang and hiroki’s head shot up, “uncle issei and uncle hiro are here!” he rushed out of his room and to the door.

hajime wasn’t too far behind as he met you and the children at the door. you fixed a clip in misa’s hair before opening the door.

mattsun and makki stood at the door, carrying gifts for the children and wine for the adults.

“for you two.” mattsun bent down and passed the two same size boxes as makki leaned forward, a nice bottle of wine, “and for the mr and mrs.” he handed you the bottle as the two stepped in and stood off both their coats and winter boots.

“how are the two of you?” mattsun asked, hands on his hips, watching the children shake the gifts trying to figure out what was inside.

“we’re doing good, come come, dinners already ready.” you guestured bringing everyone to the dinning table where the meal was spread out like you said.

“hope the drive up wasn’t too bad.” hajime mentioned, sitting down across from his high school friends. they shook their head.

misa ran to mattsun’s side, hiroki not too far behind, “can we open the gifts now?!” they were too hyper. mattsun looked at you two for approval and you nodded.

“go ‘head.” he smiled as the adults resumed their chit chat. hajime shook his head slightly as he saw his kids rip more wrapping paper from the corner of his eyes.

“you guys really didn’t have to, it’s bad enough oikawa spoils them all the way overseas.” they all laugh at the comment.

“mommy look we got remote control cars!” misa showed you, holding a red racer while hiroki held a blue one.

“don’t forget to say thank you.” hajime reminded them as they scurried to their uncles, bowing in thanks. it was almost like hajime could read their minds as he continued, “you two can race them after dinner.”

both pouted but listened to their dad nonetheless and silently the food was passed around. a quick ‘thank you for the food’ and everyone had dug in. it was a saying that the food was tasty is no one talked over the meal.

in this case, it was true. a few snickering comments and ‘hiroki use your napkin’ later everyone was stuffed.

“y/n the food was was..” hanamaki mimicked a chefs kiss before falling back in the chair. issei agreed, pouring himself another glass of wine.

you shook your head, thanking them for them for the compliment while misa tugged on hajime’s sleeve.

“daddy, can me ‘n hiroki race our cars now?” he nodded, “of course bug, just make sure not to break anything.” and like that they rushed off to give the toys a whirl.

mattsun and makki talked about how their jobs where going or in makki’s case, how the job search was going. bringing up how much the kids had grown since the last time they saw them, despite it not being that long. you laughed as they retold embarrassing stories from highschool. overall, the night was fun.

by 10:30 both misa and hiroki had gotten a bit bored of racing, finding their way back to the dinner table.

misa sat in hajime’s lap, tiredly flipping through pages of ‘volleyball monthly’ but mostly to just observe the picutres since she’d only just started learning to read.

“hey isn’t that uncle toru?” she asked, pointing to a picture, everyone laughed and nodded as hajime explained how he was playing for argentina and how they’d made it past the qualifiers for the olympics.

misa woke up slightly, “daddy will you teach me to play volleyball too?” it was in that moment that you could swear you saw tears in hajime’s eyes as he nodded in agreement.

his friends all smiled, seeing how truly soft iwaizumi had become. they’d always known him as a rough-around-the-edges sorta guy, who was a strict vice captain. now, he was just a strict coach but he was also a family man. they mentally applauded his duality.

the conversation slowly began to die down, hiroki had started to read a book he got, dismissing himself for bed while misa had managed to fall asleep on hajime’s lap.

“do you want me to take her up?” you offered but your husband shook his head, carefully getting up and carrying misa to her room.

“iwaizumi is a good dad.” matsukawa stated, leaning forward in his chair with a smile. you agreed, telling them all about it.

“i’m not surprised he’s managed to get them both into volleyball.” takahiro laughed as well.

“yup, hiroki just started volleyball lessons and misa’s still a bit too young but i’m sure hajime will keep that promise and teach her when she’s old enough.” you placed one hand over your other, feeling the wedding ring you adorned. “he really is a great father, just something else.”

while up in misa’s room, hajime has placed the 4 year old under the covers, placing her head gently on her pillow. he smiled, cautiously taking out her hair pins, scared they were going to hurt her if she turned over.

she had subconsciously grabbed ahold of the stuffed animal oikawa had gotten her and he smiled. hajime placed a kiss on her forehead, “‘night bug.” he whispered, too quiet to wake her as he turned on her nightlight and left the room.

his next stop was hiroki’s room, and not surprisingly he was already in his pajamas, under the covers. with his book in hand, he smiled when he saw his dad.

hajime sat on his bed, peeing at the book. “how’s the reading coming bubs?” he asked while hiroki yawned slightly.”

“it’s good dad, they’re about to go on a quest to stop the demon king.” he laid his head down on the pillow. hajime laughed, “i’m glad you’re enjoying it but it’s bed time now.”

hiroki nodded, placing his book mark where he left off, sliding it onto his nightstand. hajime couldn’t stop smiling.

“goodnight bubs, sleep tight.” he chuckeled, placing a kiss onto hiroki’s forehead, the boy’s eyes fluttering shut.

“goodnight dad, say goodnight to mommy too.” he turned on his side.

“will do.” he nodded, turning off the lights and making his way back to the dinning table.

once issei and takahiro had taken their leave, wishing them all the best you and your husband could finally unwind.

hajime’s kissed your shoulder playfully, smiling into you skin as you changed into pyjamas. you turned around, hugging him with all the energy that was left in you.

“your so good to us.” he said into you ear and you laughed.

“speak for yourself, haji.” you kissed him again, “you’re an exceptional dad.” he blushed at the comment, tugging you to bed and under the cover.

you found yourself in your usual spot, head on hajime’s chest with his large arms stayed snaked around you.

kissed were thrown back and forth, small conversation about how you two would need to burn off all the food that you ate today.

hajime lookedbdown and thought you were sleeping, pressing a kiss to your temple, you let out a small confession. “i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

you peaked your eyes open and his cheeks reddened realizing that you heard him.

“i don’t know either but i’m glad we have each other.” you laughed, pressing your ear to his heart beat.

“yeah, y/n, i love you so much.” he kissed you before slowly closing his eyes.

“i love you too.” and like that you two fell asleep together after celebrating another christmas with your beautiful children.

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iwaisuke · 3 years

Text

i like you so much, you'll know it

ft. kageyama tobio, semi eita, iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre: fluff (prompts are based off lines of the song)

masterlist

a/n: from the c-drama a love so beautiful :) i wrote this at like 4am so sorry if its crap haha. not proof read either. also, sorry in advance if they're too ooc lol im a mess rn.

» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

i like your eyes, you look away when you pretend not to care i like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear. i like you more the world may know but dont be scared cause im falling deeper baby be prepared.

» today was your first day at karasuno highschool. honestly, you were so scared. that was up until you found out kageyama was going too.

» the two of you had been childhood friends due to each others grandparents knowing the others. you had been with him through his ups and downs. his victories and defeats. almost everything kageyama did, you were there with him.

» actually, you didnt know kageyama was going to karasuno until you walked outside your door to find the raven haired boy in the same school uniform as you

» "tobi? you never told me you were going to karasuno?" giving him a side eyed grin. "i thought you were planning on going to aoba johsai like oikawa senpai and iwaizumi senpai"

» you viewed kageyama as someone who expected others to reach his level in order to be a good match for him. he had a strong head on his shoulders. naturally gifted in volleyball, like everything was given to him on a gold platter. of course, he wasnt perfect and thats where you come in and keep him level headed. helping him understand his faults and weaknesses as well. doing your best to encourage the setter

» he let out a sigh. a slight frown forming on his face. "i didnt get in.." he quietly said. "karasuno has a good volleyball team though and i can feel myself growing here" he stated bodly

» and boy was he right. something about kageyama did changd that day. he usually was so bitter and angry. a very pessimistic look on life if he and others weren't at the top. maybe it was the orange haired boy, hinata, that the setter and you became friends with. and maybe it was his great senpai's who were patient with him and gave him the opportunity to grow

» kageyama started smiling more often. his small unnoticeable dimples showing. he became kinder. softer. and more carefree. he was a growing boy both mentally and physically.

» what you didnt realize was that not only was kageyama changing, you as well, had something changing and growing in your heart.

» but kageyama noticed. oh boy did he really notice, the way you seemed to become happier and livelier by the day. how the stars sparkled in your eyes when you talked about something you enjoyed. the kind of perfume you would wear and how you would tie your hair differently each day. the weird trinkets you just seemed to love that decorated your bag. but most importantly, how much bigger your heart has become, loving everyone and their faults. always encouraging and motivating him and his team.

» was she always like this? he would constantly think to himself. all of a sudden being hyperaware about you... but he would NEVER let you know that, let alone his senpai's. it was just too embarrassing. just thinking about the never ending teasing he'd get from tanaka and noya senpai made him shiver.

» all of these things he felt about you hit kageyama like a truck the day everyone started to wear their winter uniforms.

» picking you up to walk to school together was a normal thing since the two of you lived close, but how was kageyama suppose to do this now when you're standing in front of him. thigh high socks to keep your legs warm, an oversized jacket that you had borrowed from him a while back you forgot to return. white mittens to cover your cold hands and the slight blush on your face from the wind chill.

» "does it look weird?" you shyly asked. kageyama was silent. "ah.. give me a second. I'll go back in and change real qui-"

» kageyama tugged on your hand. "its fine. lets just go to school or we'll be late." refusing to look you in the eyes. heat rising to your cheeks as tobio dragged you along with him.

» your feelings for the setter had blossomed over the past few months. falling deeper and deeper into him, and at this point you felt like you couldnt hide it anymore. you just had to tell him. tell him all the wonderful things he's done. the way he's grown and how much he means to you.

» "tobi..." your soft voice spilling out. eyes closed, the fog of your breath coming out as you exhaled. "i lik-"

» you felt something wrap around your neck. "wait y/n..." kageyama spoke, interrupting what you were about to say. not gonna lie, you felt like your heart was about to be shattered like ice eventhough kageyama continued to wrap his scarf around your neck.

» "dont say it..." he quietly said as he began to walk forward without you.

» ah... is this what rejection feels like? i didnt even get to say it properly... your hands felt colder now that kageyama wasnt holding them anymore.

» he took a quick glance back at you. blush on his cheeks. "be prepared because i want to be the one to tell you first."

i like the way you try so hard when you play ball with your friends. i like the way you hit the notes in every song you're shinnin' i love the little things like when you're unaware, i catch you steal a glance and smile so perfectly

» semi eita, your 3 year heart throb from the moment he first spoke to you.

» at first, you had suppressed these feelings, telling yourself he would never look at you the same way. but something about the blonde tsundere struck a chord in your heart that you just couldn't forget.

» the two of you ended up becoming friends. closer than you had actually imagined within these past 3 years. doing everyday life with you. waking up and saving you a spot at breakfast. helping you with your studies in exchange for being his workout buddy and motivator.

» semi kept his tabs on you. your likes and dislikes. the things that made you smile and the things that made you groan in disgust, but he would never let you know that.

» to semi, you were his breath of fresh air. the song he has on repeat everyday. the kind of person who would keep him on his toes. in a good way of course

» "oi what are you daydreaming of this time?" semi asked as you zoned out while drinking your carton of strawberry milk. "hm? oh nothin. just thinkin about whats in store for us today!" reaching your arms above your head letting out a stretch. "i just know for a fact. today is gonna be a good day." semi chuckled at your optimistic claim. "how do you know for sure?" "i dont know how. i just do" you replied with a smile on your face.

» today, shiratorizawa had a practice match with aoba johsai and today, eita was picked to be in the starting line up. the pure joy that radiated from his body. maybe today was a really good day just like how you had said.

» semi took a quick glance up into the stands, you gave him a thumbs up and wished him good luck. his smile was brighter than you had ever seen it and his eyes shined like stars. he always told you that whatever chance he got on the court, he would be sure to not let his team down no matter what. he was in his zone. playing his best and sure enough, they had won all 3 matches.

» after practice, semi and you would hang out at his dorm afterwards. he liked to show you all the new songs he was working on. whether it was a cover or a song or a song he was writing on his own.

» the two of you leaned against the wall as you sat on semi's bed. his sheet music all sprawled out before him on his bed sheets. guitar in his arms and you beside him.

» "what are you working on semi?" "a song" "well obviously dum dum" you laughed, reaching out for a paper in front.

» "so who's the special lady?" you teased him as you read the lyrics. deep down inside you could only wish these words were meant for you. a blush formed on eita's face. "just... shut up about it... its not ready yet"

» it was getting late and falling asleep at semi's place was a normal occurrence at this point. your eyes became heavy and your head started bobbing.

» "sleepy?" eita asked as he noticed your eyes drooping. "mhm. sing for me semi? please?" his voice was so soft like a mothers touch yet somehow had the power to pierce through your soul sometimes. although, it never failed to help you fall asleep when you needed it.

» hesitantly, semi started humming. softly speaking some lyrics here and there. you didnt know where the tune was from so you listened the best you could.

» "... till the last of snow dissapears ... till a rainy day, becomes clear. never knew a love like this, now i can't let go..."

» your eyes had closed. slumber taking over you as you fell onto semi's shoulder.

» "im in love with you... and now you know..."

» yeah. today was a good day. just like you said it was going to be.

in a world devoid of life, you bring color. in your eyes i see the light, my future. always and forever i know i cant let you go. im in love with you and now you know

» to iwaizumi, unlike volleyball, oikawa, maki, mattsun, school, anything life threw at him; you were the thing in his life that was constant yet at the same time a whirlwind of new beginnings. not in a bad way though.

» ever since you were kids, you showed iwaizumi the beauty in things he would have never guessed had. he was bold and tended to look over things without giving them much thought. his eyes straight ahead to the trials before him. you on the other hand, stopped him and slowed him down from rushing into them blindly.

» "every moment is precious. you should learn to cherish it because you never know when it's gonna be your last" you always said

» your views of the world were beautiful compared to how cruel it actually was. naivety maybe? or maybe it was just because you were blessed with a kind soul.

» iwaizumi always knew he had feelings for you. you had been with him through thick and thin. he could depend on you and you could depend on him. in his eyes, you were the most beautiful person on earth. deep down he had hoped the two of you could stay like that forever. nothing could ever change that.

» or so he thought...

» "iwa chan~ you owe me a meat bun" oikawa whined as the group of friends were walking to the gym for volleyball practice. "shut up crappykawa. i already bought you one last week" "oi isn't that y/n over there?" maki said, shaking iwaizumi's shoulder.

» sure enough it was you. apparently you had told iwaizumi to go ahead of you today because you had something to take care of in the afternoon. telling him you'd meet up with him after practice was over. not thinking much of it, he bid you a farewell and went on in his day.

» "oooou by the looks of it, this is the perfect confession scene" mattsun teased. "oi stop messing around" iwaizumi's voice hoarse. not gonna lie, iwaizumi felt his heart drop when mattsun said that

» the 4 boys crept closer to see what was going on.

» there you were, standing in the middle of a classroom with a black haired boy. "mhm. definitely a confession." oikawa stated. "shut up tooru we cant hear" maki retorted.

» you weren't considered popular in school but that didnt mean people didnt know who you were. iwaizumi knew you were gorgeous and on top of that, smart, kind and one of the sweetest girls, so it was only natural that people would be drawn to you.

» they watched as the boy got closer and closer to you. voices barely being audible to the 4 boys outside. iwaizumi's heart could bear to see this right before his eyes.

» without even thinking, his feet moving on his own, iwaizumi barged into the room. all eyes towards him.

» "iwa what are you-" without letting you finish, iwa dragged you out of the classroom. "iwa where are you taking me" asking him as he took you to who knows where, leading you up the stairs of the school.

» up on the roof, he finally let go. "sorry..." he mumbled.

» "sorry for what iwa?" "for ruining that confession... i just-"

» "you just...-?"

» "i just love you ok?!"

» your heart shook at the resonance of his voice. iwa liked you? he liked you back?! wait no- he loved you.

» you had loved iwaizumi from the moment you met him and as the two of you grew up, your love for him only grew deeper. he was the only one you'd ever look at. the only one who would ever cross your mind. you had hoped he felt the same about you but he was always so busy with other things you only felt like you would be able to support him on the sidelines as he faced the world head on like he always does.

» just being in iwaizumi's presence was enough for you. no need to be greedier, you thought. its good to be content with what you have, but just knowing that he shares the same feelings... its ok to be a little greedy right?

» your silence being louder than it should have been, iwaizumi took it the wrong way. "look I know this isn't the greatest confession. heck it's not even the way I wanted to confess to you, and get it if you like that other guy, you don't have to-"

» shuting him up with a kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. needless to say, he was shocked, but embraced you as well.

» "you're overthinking too much iwa. that's so unlike you" you chuckled. his face bright red at the previous actions.

» "i love you. I've loved you for a long time actually. every single second. every moment we've shared. i cant picture myself with anyone but you hajime."

» iwa let out a sigh of relief. a smile being brought back onto his face. "good because all I know is that i cant let you go. in the past, present and even in the future...."

» the blue sky slowly changing into shades of coral warmed your heart even more on top of his sweet words that you've always longed to hear.

» "im in love with you, and now you know"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

enjoy your order! have a great day!

#haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #kageyama tobio #kageyama x reader #kageyama fluff #semi eita #semi x reader #semi eita fluff #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu fluff #yinny!drabbles

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kaypeace21 · 3 years

Text

Analyzing the 5 plays in this drama club poster .From the bts pics of stranger things 4.

So... some of ya’ll know I'm going through the st s4 films given to us by the official st twitter + the films reffed in the show itself or mentioned by the Duffers in interviews .

So I decided to look at the plays mentioned here. Because even if we don't see the monologues in the show directly - the Duffers wouldn't name drop anything unless it inspired them in some way. Similar to films name dropped in the show. Tw : for some dark themes .

This is just a quick little analysis I decided to do since we probably won't get any new st content today (3/22). Nothing too deep. Just mentioning things that caught my interest especially cause these plays have a lot of narrative connections to the st s4 movies I've been watching.

Invitation to a march (Authur laurents)

Reminds me of the stancy/jancy love triangle. "A young woman is having second thoughts about doing the right thing and marrying a respectable , rich, kind, young man with good prospects.By way of a prewedding diversion, this woman becomes interested in the passionate but poor and entirely unsuitable son of a local landlord.Basically, the plot concerns the efforts of Norma Brown to choose between a conventional fiance who "puts her to sleep" but is wealthy (like what her own mother did) or go for this new-poor guy. The play is principally interested in how this youthful love triangle affects the three mothers involved (whether the kids like it or not)

12th night (Shakespeare)

- viola (el) wrongly assumes a family member (hopper) is dead. She dresses up as a man named 'cesario'. A girl named Olivia falls for 'cesario' (violet dressed as a man). "Finally, when 'Cesario' and Sebastian (violet's twin brother: assumed to have drowned - Will) appear in the presence of Olivia there is more wonder and confusion at their physical similarity. Taking Sebastian for 'Cesario', Olivia asks him to marry her, and they are secretly married in a church. Cough if Olivia is 'straight' cause she fell for Viola (as a doppleganger dressed like her twin brother).Mike being into el who multiple characters in s1 said looked like a boy and specifically like Will is...suspish and a hint he's not straight lol. just like Olivia they're both into guys . plus, this play just has a butt load of love triangles (ugh i hated that aspect). There was also romantically coded letters (which was in the s4 films) . One character is also thrown into an insane asylum and framed as 'insane'.'Pretending that Malvolio is insane, they lock him up in a dark chamber. Feste visits him to mock his insanity'. We all know the psych hospital will be narratively important- talked about it more here.

The seagull (Anton Chekhov-russian)

similar to how I believed s4 will show m*#even already broken up since the months between s3-4 : act 3 (s3) ends with Nina begging for one last chance to be with Trigorin before he leaves/moves away. They kiss and make plans to meet again in Moscow.And in act 4 there's a timeskip where it shows they've been broken up for a long time between acts- and its established they never actually loved eachother. Do i even have to spell out why this parallels the m*#even ending in s3? There is also a play within the play (this is common in a lot of the st films- they have plays- or a story within a story- which illustrate certain themes or emotions of the characters within said film : blackswan, children of paradise, highschool musical, Rushmore, book of Henry, welcome to marwen, never ending story, romancing the stone, wet hot American summer, etc).The play is Konstantin's latest attempt at creating a dense symbolist work. There is also alot of love triangles in the seagull. TW!: for se#ual ab*se/su*cidal thoughts/ inc*st (here and in other play segments). The seagull motif reminds me a lot of Jonathan's rabbit story.Konstantin romantically into Nina shows up to give her a gull that he has shot. Nina is confused and horrified . Trigorin sees the gull that Konstantin has shot and muses to Nina on how he could use it as a subject for a short story: "The plot for the short story: a young girl lives all her life on the shore of a lake. She loves the lake, like a gull, and she's happy and free, like a gull. But a man arrives by chance, and when he sees her, he destroys her, out of sheer boredom. Like this gull." This immediately reminded me of jon's rabbit story and some of the movies on the s4 list . Like in forrest gump- Jenny (who is poor) was se*ually ab*sed as a very young girl by her father. As a child she runs away into a field-away from her alcoholic father yelling at her -there she prays that she can "be a bird so I can fly far far away" .

Jenny as an adult struggles with this unresolved trauma- being with ab*sive partners, doing dr*gs, and having su*cidal thoughts . She as an adult when contemplating su*icide, jokes 'you think i can fly like a bird ?' while looking down at a bridge.God-i'm worried about jonathan (Jenny was also a musician sort of like jon). In another s4 movie example ' mystic river ' :(in the 80s) a preteen baseball playing boy is r*ped by men in the woods. He later says he wishes he could become an undead monster to not feel the pain of that experience - cause quote " if I'm not human anymore maybe the pain will stop" (Will) . slightly off topic but he also has another personality, imagines a alternate word that dissappears when he turns his head. And as a less direct animal parallel to the play - the boy from the film also imagined his perpetrators as monsters and wolves to cope.In 'getout' the photographer character sees a dead deer in the woods and it represents a parent/his own childhood tra*ma relating to his past. similarly in 'prince of tides' the 2 siblings as kids were ra*ed by men. The older brother remembered it and the younger sibling developed DID (so didn't remember but she would draw wolves- as the perpetrators/villains in her picture stories she created . In the film they also had an ab*sive dad and were very poor. She also tried k*ling herself multiple times-but started to get better after remembering the source of her pain and trauma. There is also the theme of multiple attempted su*cides in the play- and the play ends with yet another attempt- and the audience is left unaware of the artist's fate at the end of the play.

The tempest (Shakespeare)

Prospereo - (the perceived antagonist) is a wizard with monstrous looks, storm powers , and ability to create monster-dogs

He wants revenge on a man who tried ra*ing his family member & revenge on his other family member who wronged him years ago. I mean... pretty much my did theory.But in the end.Prospero decides to show his enemies the mercy that they did not show him twelve years earlier. He tells Ariel to bring the men to him, he will restore their sanity and then renounce magic forever.Prospero breaks the spell that the men are under .

Diary of a scoundrel (Alexander Ostrovsky-Russian)

- I suppose this could loosely relate to Jonathan? Glumov, is a young man from an impoverished family lacking status seeking entrance into society's pampered class. A 19th-century Russian scoundrel must scheme his way out of his meager life in a small apartment -whatever it takes.He has a quick mind and some talent for seeing through the hypocrisies of people around him ( Jonathan does make a lot of social critiques about society). That gives him some advantages. A tale of one man's mission to finagle his way into upper-class society and find a cushy job. Set in 1874, this social comedy follows Glumov, a Russian youth who begins his ambitious ascent to social esteem. He progresses by wit, guile and rhetoric. Pitting one stupid person against another, he soon gains his ends. To reach these goals, Glumov will lie, flatter, and cater to the vanities of the wealthy. Unable to contain his disgust with his victims, Glumov decides to relieve his unvoiced satirical comments by recording his schemes in a diary. But he is tripped up by his uncle's wife, to whom he has made passionate love on his way to success. At the end of the play, his diary is stolen and his duplicity exposed, but he can nevertheless suceeds. The author is much more critical about the high society itself than about the main character, so the play keeps attracting generations of directors by opening possibilities for political criticism while also avoiding naming names of the current rulers.The play's aim was to overthrow bourgeois tradition and establish a class-conscious art called eccentricism giving a deliberately comic portrayal of reality.

I suppose I notice some possible commonalities- besides s3 critiquing the wealthy/capitalism in comedic ways . jonathan since s1 has worried about his family's finances / had some resentment toward the rich . In some of the s4 movies ‘orphan’ & ‘ girl interrupted’ someone reads their diary out loud to get at them (in girl interrupted the winona character’s diary even had critiques of her new friends). Alot of movies also have someone (usually a teen/young adult) making a documentary about their life -which could narratively replace said diary? A few movies have a poor guy adjusting to snobby rich social circles (or being poor and then getting money)- titanic, kingsmen, karate kid, the craft , godfather, wardogs,into the spiderverse,flashdance, and many others . And movies like wardogs has a poor-young-character do shady things to finacially support his family . There’s also that whole uncle’s wife thing- which makes me uncomfortable for obvious reasons (but I’m just thinking of Lonnie’s creepy gf who was into him). A few movies had the guy’s step mom innappropriately hit on him- orange county & you got mail. And him trying to avoid her advances. Or...not to mention ... it may be a problematic coincidence /trope. But in enter the void -the guy who needs to finacially support his sibling/ does dr*gs -hooks up with his dr*g dealing friend’s married mom (who would give him money). Or in gilbert grape- the poor teen-who has to finacially support his siblings/single mom-has his endgame relationship be a girl his own age. But before that he h*oked up with a married woman -who would give him money. Don’s plum -young film guy-propositioned by older female film director (for dream job). Not even mentioning the other films that have the guy hooking up with toxic older women (like ‘the graduate’). Or analyze this-where the therapist accuses him of having an Oedipus complex (not touching that one... but the guy in ‘enter the void’ a 100% had one). It’s possible those movies were just- inspo for s3? A coincidence? Or s3 was foreshadowing for this in s4- but unlike s3 it will accurately be played as wrong and a sign of Jonathan recreating past tra*ma caused by Lonnie (cough like the photos) /being desperate for money. And not played ‘comedically’ like how it mostly was in s3. But shown as self destructive (for Jon) and immoral on the Woman’s end. Like... Billy and Jon are character foils. Both are older siblings into rock music, with ab*sive dads who shoved them into walls. Both lose it (and beat steve to a pulp when Steve accidentally triggers their daddy issues). In s3 it’s established womanizer Billy has mommy issues, than he tries ho*king up with someone his mom’s age, and the characters ref ‘back to the future ‘ and Steve incorrectly says it’s about “alex p keaton trying to bang his mom.” This could illustrate his subconscious issues with parental figures/adults cause of Lonnie’s possible past se*ual ab*se . One film the friend even says to the guy “you don’t have friends!” guy b: i have friends! him: no you have acquaintances! ADMIT IT! YOU’RE AFRAID OF MEN!I mean-Jonathan liked Nancy- but he initially hooked up with her cause he wanted to prove he didn’t have ‘trust issues’ from his dad. Also it’s prob a bit of a reach (and maybe a coincidence)- but the fact Murray in the same breath compares Steve (Nancy’s then bf) and Lonnie ... uh... if you think too long about it ... it’s very sinister . Especially because in s3: muray tells Joyce that despite her wanting to be with a nice guy, she’s curious about “the brute” Hopper despite him reminding her of a past “bad relationship”(aka Lonnie). Like- yeah connect some dots. Quite a few films (other than forrest gump) also have the character who (as a kid) was r*ped by their dad/parent- begin to do dr*gs/be pr*miscuous as adults since they never learned to properly cope with their trauma (’girl with the dragon tattoo’, ‘black swan’, and ‘magnolia’). Unfortunately the whole relative doing such things to kid-relatives is in at least 30+ movies.

Personally, i would be MUCH happier if Jon had a age appropriate romance- and had not a single creepy adult near him. A few movies actually imply Lonnie gets yet another ‘new model’ replacing his gf in her 20s with a new gf- who is ‘barely l*gal” and just turned 18. so there’s that possibility as well- that she’s jonathan’s age.I just want Jonathan-happy &safe. GOD. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

#byler #byeler #will byers #mike wheeler #Jonathan byers #nancy wheeler #joyce byers #jim hopper #murray bauman #stranger things #el hopper #s4 theory #stranger things theory

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