#my personal toontown ideas need me

[cathalbravecog]

long ramble, haven't had one of these in a while! if you read this, have fun. it's headcanons/thoughts on some stuff. i don't talk about my thoughts on story stuff publicly much anymore especially because 1) i'm shy 2) trust issues 3) bad rsd 4) i forgot the last point

i was writing for oNCE yesterday (some headcanon stuff, for myself, won't be posting that unless i change the wording of some of it to make more sense because i ramble a lot and it's a mess. like i am doing right now. also that turned into being mostly about hr in the end because i am ill. now hopefully this motivation will get me to write my mary and archie stuff.)

and when i went to bed i was thinking about some stuff in toontown, mostly the cogs - and how things work. these are things i ponder on very often and have talked about with my friends many time, throwing ideas back and forth and my headcanons for how things work.

though, there's one thing i really wonder about, and that's where cogs come from in ttcc exactly. in 'that' way though of course to keep things on the same rating as the game is i won't discuss anything explicit so don't worry. (besides they're robots and also are sexless to me, anything related to gender is purely cosmetic to them. you are usually assigned a certain expression when built though, but can change that later on. that's how i explain trans cogs.)

i think about how there are canonical families and children, and that they have "built" dates and places where they've been built. it's obvious as they're robots, they're not born they're built and made.

it's a bit difficult to explore with the limited info we have, which is kind of both an hassle to work with, but also beautiful because you can let your creativity go and make up your own headcanons, without things being set in too much canon. it's also difficult due to how different the suit culture is to us humans and also what we see from the toons which is by nature more familiar to us.

we also do not know much about suitopia, or other possible places where cogs live.

(i, personally, imagine suitopia as essentially a big country where most if not all cogs live. it has it's own regions, cities... all that. where as c.o.g.s. inc has built itself to be essentially it's own small country/community, if that makes sense. though cogs don't always only mention suitopia, at least once 'the whole world' is used. this is irrelevant tho so i won't discuss that but it's still a 'core' headcanon i have - as other things i may hc rely on this personal interpretation / headcanon.

but be aware i do not know everything is canon and can discuss things outside my realm of HCs and interpretations, but if i go deeper into like, let's say, analyzing a cog and imagining their backstory, instantly assume i'm using all these things. sorry for the side ramble, i want to make things clear for possible future reference.)

i wish it will be expanded upon slightly in the future, even a slightest crumb of what it's like out there and i can have a field day with it. i do enjoy the vagueness tho, again, as i've said we do not need to have all the information out there and it's not necessary to the main stories that are being told but MAN my brain itches for MORE. i demand EXPLANATIONS. and so i make up my own lol and i love that i can do that /gen (there's some stuff i do have an issue with that it was not explained better, but again, fixed that with hcs. talking abt atticus but im not getting into that rn)

there also may be things i am missing - i have known of ttcc's existence since it's early days, but i wasn't there for it and missed being there in person for any lore until i started playing for real in early 2023 and became a part of the community. like, there ARE things i have missed AND small details i am missing. that's one criticism i have about some info being more difficult to access now, but the main stuff is on the wiki an all luckily.

anyways that ramble out of the way... how the heck are cogs made? there's a few ways, that seem contradictory in some ways at first but i just see it as different methods.

we know cogs can change their appearances (their shell) and be "upgraded". we know cogs can even choose to be just their skelecogs (Atticus) and i suppose every other skelecog we see.) we know cogs have families and have their own kids. (cathal and bobby jr come to mind, and also belle's own kids and grandkids. not to mention, we have siblings too - thomas and robert. and their whole family drama DOES involve their unseen parents.) we know many cogs, mostly the managers, come into the company as their are - but also new parts are built, at least for the employee cogs in sellbot hq. (recently re-read the dialogue which confirmed this - literally as you're building your sellbot suit.)

we know cogs are more than just some working machines and do have deeper lives and desires and even relationships, though all instances of a parent/child relationship in ttcc have only one parent. makes sense after all they don't reproduce sexually to put it that way, again they're built and they're robots.)

it's easy to conclude, that, cogs are just built. which is true. but it just makes me wonder. we know they age. we have at least 1 cog who is a literal child, and bobby, in human years at least, looks no older than like, 8 years old. (we also don't know how cogs age. we also know cog's don't die like that, due to the whole deal with atticus. i will talk about this one day i have so many thoughts on it)

we know they grow up and even have schools - they're not programmed with everything. they earn experience as they live life and even have?? education systems? like they're more like people than we thought. (ttcc does make cogs more easily sympathized with and gives us INDIVIDUAL cogs and not just... 'The Cogs'. cogs are the focus of ttcc so of course they're developed more and are more 'human' despite being machines.)

so clearly, there's cogs like bobby. who are built young and eventually grow up. we have not seen a cog growing up yet, at least i don't think. but i wonder how that works. through cartoon logic, do they just grow up? their skelecog and perhaps their shell, too? or do they periodically get upgraded to be larger - wouldn't it make sense to built a cog as, well, an adult already? to program all these things? there may be more limits to this than we think, but also just... cultural things possibly.

the only cog CHILD (not just the child of someone - cathal's an adult. also, redd mention, but redd's adopted so he doesn't count) we ever see is bobby and, he is the child of robert, who is known to be very short. we don't know if bobby's going to grow up, or if this height is what he's just going to be like. we have one image where he's way smaller than robert, and other, more recent ones, where they're a similar heights. is that just art inconsistency due to the nature of all the (amazing) artwork being, well, volounteer work and that not everything is (or has to be) perfect? or did bobby really grow up. i'm talking about the wallet picture and the comics featuring bobby, by the way.

though, as things are, i'm sort of assuming that bobby's going to grow up or be upgraded in some way to "grow up"? i don't think we need an clear explanation for that, and in a universe like this 'cartoon logic' would be enough, but it's still something to think about.

like...how do cogs go about having kids, anyways? all instances we see are visually similar as well. cathal has the same gear for his neck as allan's body does, and they have the same head lightbulbs and wires. bobby jr and robert are both furniture.

i've always assumed that it's like in robots (the movie, that i havent watched in years which would be helpful for all this, probably.) if you decide to have a child just for the experience of raising a child, to have a legacy, or due to a bond with a partner - you literally just build one. perhaps not in the same way as in the movie - in here it definitely requires more paperwork and blueprints. but again, it's interesting to think about! hey company i want a CHILD. i look like this build them like me thanks here's some blueprints. (this also explains the amount of single parents. though belle has to have been married/is married as her honorific is listed as mrs. hey fun fact, non native english speaker here. i didnt know 'mrs' means a lady is married until like this year. i've been on this earth for 19 years.)

like the concept of family is possibly just more social there than anything. duh... can't exactly have the same oil and wires inside of you as Robots .

anyways, so that explains kids... but what about the others? some cogs don't have any families mentioned but it's not hard to assume they come from families with parents and siblings as well. what about the employee cogs? who are quite literally very disposable in a way?

we do have to take into account that after all, employee cogs we see just on and about on the streets are mostly a game mechanic, and there are some individual cogs who ARE cogs who would typically be employees cogs. (jennifer comes to mind first, she's a micromanager but also a secretary and counts as a manager. same goes for judy and so forth.)

and y'know, the game won't have a personality and backstory for each random flunky on the streets you fight. but with often they get destroyed and repaired and that there's just... so many of them! of the same model and appearance... makes you think. is that why they were made? are they truly more robotic than the others, more devoid of 'humanity'? or were they different cogs, perhaps more lower class, who's appearances were changed entirely to fit into more easily fixable and replaceable shell forms? something that's less expensive for the company and for them? i swear i am missing some details on this, but that's for me to re read the wiki and cogs ink for on my own later. (i need to have full info n everything and if i dont bring up that i know one small detail i will explode bc someone will bring it up and make me feel dumb and that's the rsd part and it's often physically painful!)

very hard to tell, i'm sort of content with my thoughts on how cogs have kids, but i hope we ever get a bit more clarity on employee cogs - though it is a bit problematic as these are the guys you beat up on the daily who don't have individual personalities.

like i'm just rambling as i go here man, it was gonna be cohesive but i'm just spitting thoughts here now. like, we have 3 seperate skelecog types - all cogs come with a skelecog like we have a skeleton so that also comes into play. it can be adjusted in ways, most notably the head and also in size. though we do have a 4 arm cog. jason please i love you /p we need more jason content. it's wacky, it's tacky - it's toontown!

fun stuff to think about but i just deep fried my brain. tdlr i guess.

how cogs made. how cogs have kids. how cogs work in general. very swag very cool. guzma cathal spades spamtongender goes on 1568854 different tangents while saying they wont aka your swagesty your adhd symptoms are showing

that's it fellas enjoy 2k words of incomprehensible rambles that i am happy to finally get out! you see the way i explain things is precisely why i almost never do it publicly and i need practice shortening things.

[prettymuchpotter]

Fanfic Requests: Open!

My fanfic requests are open! I write for many fandoms, and am comfortable writing SFW and NSFW. Please read this before sending in a request, as I do have some requirements/preferences when writing. Here is a masterlist of what I've already written, and it will be continually updated until stated otherwise. List of fandoms I write for and request preferences below the cut.

Fandoms:

Resident Evil [both the games and the CGI movies]

Toontown [Online, Rewritten, Corporate Clash]

Baldur's Gate [2 and 3]

Call of Duty [Modern Warfare 2 and 3]

Dead by Daylight

Outlast [entire series, excluding Outlast Trials]

Nancy Drew [games and classic book series]

Harry Potter*

Criminal Minds

Northern Exposure

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Grey's Anatomy

Overwatch

I can write for any character and pairing in these fandoms, and I'm open to writing x reader and x OC as well. These are all fandoms I've been in for a while and am most comfortable with, however I've dipped my toes into other fandoms throughout the years, so even if the fandom isn't on this list, it's totally okay to send an ask to see if I'll write for it. [* Harry Potter is no longer my main fandom due to JKR's treatment of trans women and her disgraceful way of targeting and attacking individuals who call her out, but I will still write for Harry Potter. It was my hyperfixation for seven years, and despite how I feel about JKR, I still enjoy the Harry Potter universe and have ideas for things I want to write for it. Requests sent for Harry Potter fics will be moved behind any other fandom requests, simply due to wanting to continue to have some distance between myself and the bulk of the fandom (if that makes sense?)]

Important information to read before sending a request:

When sending a request, please try to be as detailed as possible! You have the idea in your head, and I'll write it, but I want to make sure I include everything you want so that means I need to know all the cool ideas you have.

Anonymous requests are fine. However, if you're requesting NSFW, please do not submit the request as an anon, because I need to verify that the request is coming from an adult. If I receive anonymous requests for NSFW fics, they will be ignored.

On the topic of NSFW, please do not request NSFW of minor characters. This shouldn't even have to be said, but I will not write it.

I'm perfectly fine with writing angst and dark topics. They will all be tagged accordingly when posted. If I miss a tag/forget to flag something triggering, please let me know!

Requests to write x reader and x OC are perfectly fine. If you're requesting x reader, please be as specific as possible when sending your request when it comes to how you envision the reader in the fic. I understand the frustration of never finding a reader insert fic that resonates with who you are, so I never want to be that writer that doesn't include every kind of person in their reader insert fics.

Request all kinds of things! Any ship you can think of! Any plot you want! Most fics will be oneshots for the sake of being efficient, but some plots that grab me will be series.

My requests will be open for an indefinite period of time. Please be mindful that I have mental and physical health issues that may limit the speed at which I get to your request, but I'll do my best to get to everything as quickly as possible. Crackfics will remain on this site only, but serious fics will be crossposted to AO3 and Wattpad (prettymuchpotter on both of them).

[marinerainbow]

No one asked, but here are some headcannons for the one and only,

~Jessica Rabbit~

(Why isn't this GIF used more often? No joke, she looks amazing here (then again she looks amazing in the whole movie))

I've seen people headcannon Jessica is asexual, and that's definitely awesome to see! However, I personally think she's demisexual. In one of the canon Roger Rabbit shorts, specifically 'Tummy Trouble', at the end we see Jessica actually instigate/suggest pattycake to Roger. And it wasn't in the cartoon she was starring in with him, it was after they were off set. So it does look like she does enjoy that sort of thing, but only with her husband. Again, I'm not ragging on anyone who sees her as ace, this is just my personal opinion.

I saw a post on here saying that Jessica's maiden name might be Krupnik, and that implies she's Jewish. And honestly, regardless if that's canon, I like it. I'll have to look into it more. Not necessarily a personal headcannon I guess, but I'll still add it.

Jessica wants to be a baker someday. Yes her main job is a singer and actress, but her real dream is to own a bakery. So far she's just baked for Roger and their neighbors, but she's getting there. And it's not just baked goods, she's a master with the frying pan. Cooking dinner together is one of hers and Roger's favorite at home dates (Disney, where's the Jessica Rabbit restaurant?)

This one i highly doubt is canon and I imagine would be difficult to figure out how it would work for toons, but I'll still share. Her hair kind of looked like it was ready to fly off when she and Eddie were driving out of Toontown, and that led me to this headcannon: Jessica has alopecia. She usually just sticks with red hair, but she'll wear different wigs based on what character she'll play in a cartoon (maybe it was Jessica playing as Hello Nurse from animaniacs?). And you all know Roger supports and adores her anyway and helps take care of her wigs. (I do know that some people just have wide foreheads or hairline, and I can see that with Jessica too! I just like imagining Roger reassuring Jessica she's beautiful no matter what).

I'm nor sure why, I have no reason to think this, but I like the idea that she and Smartass used to be friends before the events of the movie. Who knows, maybe he gave her relationship advice from his last marriage. I'm not sure what would have happened between them, (aside from you know, framing her husband for murder and trying to get him killed), but I do crack-headcannon that he wasn't her best man (man of honor?) at the wedding, and that's what made them enemies.

I think that Jessica genuinely likes to be beautiful. She doesn't like the attention and judgment that comes with it of course, but frankly that says more about the people around her than her herself. She likes putting on her makeup in the morning, she likes wearing her dresses, she likes styling herself. And not just her own cosmetics, I can imagine she likes picking out new furniture for the house (not all the time, just when it's needed), and she loves helping Roger put together his outfit for the day. There's nothing wrong with styling oneself, and Jessica can preach to the choir on that one.

Speaking of the choir, Jessica volunteers at singing classes to help others with their own voices. She's a very sweet teacher and will offer tips on how to stretch your voice or sing those high notes without strainging yourself too much (What if this is how she and Roger met? He went to a class she was helping out in, and they hit it off?).

This was seen somewhat in the squeal comic Resurrection of Doom. I think Jessica has a soft spot for horror films. Specifically the classic horror films like Frankenstein or Dracula. She's not a die hard horror fan, but she does enjoy them from time to time. She knows Roger doesn't like them though, so she won't force him to watch them with her. But of course, he loves her just as much as she loves him, so he'll still watch them with her, as long as she holds him during the scary scenes.

This is kind of a darker headcannon; just mentions of drugging, but proceed with caution. In the club, or when she's out, she'll keep an eye out for any suspiciously fizzy or cloudy drinks. She has lost count of how many times she's caught someone trying to roofie somebody else, and she'll teach others how to look out for bad drinks. She mentions in the deleted scene that someone tried to break in her dressing room once, so who knows how many times someone tried to drug her as well? Needless to say, she doesn't play around with that shit (if I could draw, I would definitely draw her punching a roofie user in the face)

Any questions anyone has, I'm more than happy to answer! ^^

[kieuecaprie]

KieueCaprie's Steam Deck non-Steam Game Test Results #1:

Toontown Corporate Clash

(Results may indeed vary based on user experience, this is just how I've experienced it.)

My Summary

Toontown Corporate Clash runs reasonably well on Steam Deck with mild graphical issues (no transparency on the stars when Cogs and Toons are hit) and mild frame hitching when roaming streets.

Changing Lutris runner to GE-Proton7 and using Cryobyte22's CryoUtilities tool to adjust Page File Size and Swappability may have had some impact on performance, potentially positive?

Full report in the Read More below:

Report

To start, I installed Toontown Corporate Clash onto my Steam Deck via Lutris (https://lutris.net/games/toontown-corporate-clash/), fortunately, there is already an installer script so I didn't need to jump through any hoops to get it running.

Upon starting it up, I had to put in my credentials manually into the launcher via use of the touchscreen and virtual keyboard, made easier with just using Steam Link to remote in and use my PC to just set it up.

For the controls, I had decided to just use a community control layout, seen below:

Small minor adjustments to the controls (setting advance dialog to space bar as suggested by the person who initially made the custom layout) had been made but the in-game control scheme as a whole was left untouched.

As I already had a toon created before starting this test, I didn't need to go through the Create-A-Toon or the Toontorial but I can hypothesize that these segments will run perfectly well on the system. Custom names will need use of the virtual keyboard to put in but everything else is perfectly usable with the touchscreen, although changing the steam input controls to include a mouse should be preferred.

Load times are a bit rough, not terribly long but should've been faster considering the storage media I had it on (I had it on the internal SSD). Not entirely sure if it's because of the game, the Deck's specs, or just plain Lutris shenanigans.

For graphics, I lowered the texture quality from Highest to High and lowered the Anistropic Filtering down a notch in kind. ESync/FSync seems to be enabled by default for me on Lutris but it's worth looking into.

Combat works fairly well, no issues to report here. Using the community layout above helped me navigate the mouse-only interface and I was able to complete a simple solo street encounter with relative ease.

It should be noted that the game hitches at times when roaming areas filled with Cogs. This is also an issue on PC as I've had hitching there as well. It could be the issue with the engine itself and how it loads in things or it could be something else entirely. This doesn't really impact gameplay all that much.

Non-Combat activities work just as well, although I have done Trolley games solo so far, so I have no idea about the performance when done in larger groups. The controls are about as clunky as I remember them being!

Additional Notes

In an attempt to eke out some performance on an incredibly old game being held up with some more modern-day code on a Linux distro (SteamOS, well, ArchLinux technically but still), I changed the runner in Lutris from Lutris's WINE to GE-Proton7. This seems to have made the game a smidge better in busier areas but I do not have an endgame toon, so I cannot test any of the Big Boss Fights™ for performance.

On top of this, I have used Cryobyte22's CryoUtilities script to increase Page File Size and change swappability to 1. It may or may not improve performance but it's worth looking into.

My Steam Deck Performance Profile

Refresh Rate - 40Hz

Half-Rate Shading - Enabled

Thermal Power (TDP) Limit - On @ 6W

Manual GPU Clock Control - On @ 700Mhz

[toonsurvival]

My Dream Fanmade ToonTown Series

I want to create a Full on Season of Fan-Made Episodes based on the History of Toontown Rewritten and Toontown Corporate Clash, I like the Idea and the Lore of the Games including the Story and Design.

The Problem is that I don't have the Skills or Experience on how to make a well made story and money to hire people to help make my Dream Come True, I have a few Ideas on what the Characters relationship are and what they Experience also Personality.

I just have not flushed it out yet and finished their backstory and World Building on how the World and Logic Works in that universe.

I want to make sure my future Coworkers are happy with the Rules and Pay i have for them in the Future Once I prepare and gather stuff.

I don’t want to end up being in a Dead Team or Toxic work Environment once I start this Project. I'm not good at Socializing or telling People my Imagine but I will try my Best.

I also want all the NPCs to have their Own Personality and Different LifeStyles with their Unique Personality and including backstory while putting Background Characters either made by me or my Team.

I also want to include Random Strangers in the Toontown Fandom to summit their Toon or Cog Characters so they can be in the Background, this includes Doodles and Fishes.

I was planning to Include Disney Characters in the Series like Goofy, Donald, Mickey, Minni,Oswald, Max basically Goofy’s Son

Clarabelle Cow and The Mcduck Family but… I'm worried that I will get in trouble if I ever put them in the Fanmade Series so…. I might make a Knock Off Versions of them or just scrap them out of the Story Completely and focus on the Main Characters instead.

It’s really hard to collect every single piece of information in Toontown by myself so… i’m also gonna create or ask people to summit Fanmade Toontown Food and Drinks including Product and Fanmade Music. I also want characters to have their own fighting styles so it won’t be boring to watch and it will have fun animations.

All the NPCs and Characters will talk in Dialogue or Pop Bubbles like from the Comics or Games. Only in special Scenes they will have their own Unique Voice, and this Series definitely will have Amazing Music and Theme Songs too 😀.

Also the Cogs will look More Machine Like since Transformer Earth that show… the Characters Look too Damn Human

And i don’t like it, i rather have them take more of a Robotic appearance instead… that what makes them Unique in the First Place, Same thing with the Toons, i want to stick to the original as much as Possible. No Boobs on Toons it looks Uncanny… and the Toons having Human like Legs is a No No.

The Toons will definitely have different body shape and sizes

The Design of the will look similar to the base design like Toontown, Looney Tunes And Animaniacs but mostly Toontown Bases.

Even though the Game is for all ages the Show will be 13 and Up since it will have some Dark Themes And etc. Honestly it depends on how mature the Person is and who they introduce it to.

Problems I need to solve 😩

The problem is I don't have money, and I don't have the skills to make my Dreams come ture

It's gonna take time and a lot of work, plus my family life will sometime make me ditch my Plans and Projects I want to make since I'm Damb Helpful and Useful Everytime they need help with something. It's a curse and a Blessing to be Resourceful and Children like playing with me so much.

....

Even though I am a Bad Influence, since I showed them Horror and they instantly fall in love with that Genera.

Lol, my friends don't trust me to babysit 🙃 their future Kids if they ever get married in the future

Since I will definitely show them Video Games that are meant for Older People like FNAF or Poppy PlayTime, etc.

[marigoldplastic]

I literally stayed up all night making my various internet profiles prettier

I spent my whole night editing profiles and making a whole ass linktree. It was really fun tbh, and I ain't even mad about staying up so late. It's currently 7:48 am and I'm not even tired. I want to stay up long enough that I'll crash at a decent time and then feel ok to wake up by at minimum 6:45 am to prep for school wake up time.

Is my idea crazy and probably really dumb? Maybe. Will it probably work at the detriment of my mental state for the day? Absolutely.

Anyways, back to the creative crap. I wish I could figure out internet personalization better. A lot of it can be pretty complicated if you're not used to the formatting. I've grown up on solely my phone pretty much (Thanks again narcissistic mother) so a lot of the deeper tech stuff can get pretty confusing. That's the downside of a phones simple UI, it can become TOO easy to manipulate and get what you need done in a fast and efficient way. But with a computer, everything is manual and done step by step by hand pretty much. Definitely makes me regret not paying attention in all of those computer classes and HTML courses I took in high school and my first community college lmao.

Welp, back to the old grind I guess. I think I'm gonna hop back onto Toontown for now until 9 and then I'll "wake up" lolol

[ask-dark-monita]

Ugly sonic is the uncle that I genuinely need for some reason

“Hey, if ya ever need an uncle, I got ya back!”

“Also, I heard that yesterday was ya birthday! So I apologize if I’m a little late on this, but I like to wish ya a belated Happy Birthday! Best wishes, from Ugly Sonic!”

“Actually, you know what! I got an even better idea! Let’s have all of the muses here in this blog wish ya the greatest belated Happy Birthday ever! Starting in 3...2...1...”

“Starting things off, here’s the mun wishing you a Happy Birthday! I know I’ve already wished you one before, but I still think it would be nice to still wish you one here as well.”

“Happy Birthday, may you have many great birthday wishes.”

“Happy Birthday, may you have a wonderful life.”

“Happy Birthday! Do whatever you can to make yourself happy!”

“Happy Birthday! There’s no such thing as a broken sense of humor! Any humor can be funny in its own way!”

“Happy Birthday! If you’ve never tried melon bread, you should try one right now! They’re the greatest thing humanity has ever made!”

“Happy Birthday! Hope you’re having a great rest of the day so far!”

“Happy Birthday! May all of your wishes come true!”

“H-Happy Birthday!”

“Happy Birthday, you!”

“Have-a-happy birthday!”

“Nico Nico Nii~ Happy Birthday!~”

“Whoa!” Crash would shoot some birthday party confetti at the person to wish them a happy birthday.

“Happy Birthday! Stay cool out there, alright?”

“Happy Birthday!”

“Happy Birthday!”

“Happy Birthday! Although I don’t really have much a gift, I hope my wishes will be enough for you!”

“Konnichiwa!~ Happy Birthday to you!”

“Happy Birthday from the Seventh Heaven crew!”

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!~”

“Have a very happy and kool birthday!”

“Happy Birthday from me and all of the alternate Spider-Mans out there!”

“Happy Birthday from everyone from Planeptune!”

“Happy Birthday! I dunno how old you are now but have a great one!”

“Happy Birthday!”

“Happy Birthday! We’d be more than happy to celebrate it with you!”

“Hey, it’s me, Goku! Here to wish you an awesome happy birthday!”

“Woo-hoo! Happy Birthday from us and everyone from ToonTown! Smile, darn ya smile!”

“Poyo! Poyo!” (Translates: Happy Birthday!)

“Happy Birthday!”

“Ehh, Happy Birthday, doc!”

@brokensenseofhumor

[thebrownssociety]

Hi, so I was wondering about the toons getting an education. You said that they didn't know how to read or write at the begining. First of all, when did they learn to read and write? And second of all, when they started learning those things, how did they do it? Did all of the toons go to school, you know, like kids do? Did they have classes and classmates, different subjects, different teachers? Or did they have private tutours?

So, first things first, thank you Ana for giving me one of my most complicated asks yet! That's why it's taken me so long to answer, I need to first of all sort through the strands of my brain in order to find the answer, and then translate it so it can be understood by normal people.

This headcanon is LONG, I hope you lot enjoy.

the majority of the toons [about 90 percent] are NOT created with the ability to read and write. In the olden days it was generally assumed that they didn't have the ability to learn either.

The other ten percent DID. They tended to be toons that were created to be doctors, lawyers or other professions that need the ability to read and write. Or members of royalty because the creators made the decision that royals would have been taught to read and write and so incorporated that into there designs. This is why Porky Pig is unusual, because he has the ability read and write, but he's not royalty and he doesn't have an official profession. Technically Porky is an anomality, it just happens that his anomality has helped him more than hindered him.

Moving onto the villains, it tends to follow the same rules as above. Grimhilde [wicked stepmother] has the ability to read and write because the creators assumed that as the now queen she had to be a princess before, therefore fit the rules.

Maleficent however, couldn't read or write [much to her frustration] because she was a villainous fairy and although she was [I think?] royalty of some sort within the fairy world the creators decided she didn't need the ability.

You might be getting an idea of the timeline from the movies I mentioned. I headcanon that the toon began campaigning to get an education during the 60's. They did this largely via peaceful means [mainly because one thing that has always been acknowledged by humans is that Toons are quite powerful and they aren't to keen to annoy them massively. The toons for their part don't want to cause massive distress to humans - they want to make them laugh! - so it actually works to a degree. During the 60's though the Toons decided something needed to be done.

The directors and other higher-ups had been promising to change the rights for the last decade and it hadn't happened. In 1965 the Toons decided enough was enough, they would start peacefully protesting. They adhered to the riles of there contracts to the letter. The LT's contract for instance says they have to arrive at least five minutes before filming starts, so they arrived five minutes before filming started when previously they'd been arriving half an hour so the director could run through everything with them.

They also left straight after seeing as there contract said they were free to go after the filming ended.

The LT's were also contracted to be available should WB ask them to do anything like help in the kitchens, but they only gave to do that for a set amount of hours each week. They worked those hours to the letter and went straight after. A few of the more devious toons even reasoned the contract just says they have to show up, not do any work, so they didn't. At first the studio got round that by asking toons who they knew would do the work properly, but it didn't take the toons long to figure out that was happening and then the 'good' toons wondered why they should bother when the 'bad' toons were being allowed to get off scot-free?

Eventually no toons was doing any work to help the general running of WB at all.

The above, I should mention, did not happen overnight. It took around 18 months, and it wasn't just happen at WB. Although Disney didn't have the exact same contract, they ran on the general principle of arriving at a set time and leaving straight after, so the toons just adhered to there contracted times.

18 months later and the companies decided enough was enough. They were having to go overtime to film the cartoons/movies now the toons weren't doing extra [previously unpaid] hours. [Which they did because the majority of them are perfectionist when it comes to the cartoons and wanted them to be the best they could be.] They were also having to pay the Human employees extra to cover the hours, often at extremely short notice. And unlike the toons they weren't contracted to come in just because the company wanted them to.

So anyway, the point of me detailing this is to explain the circumstances that meant that the companies were at there wits end and ended up petitioning the president to give the toons rights. Mickey Mouse also helped out enormously here as well. Walt Disney had died a few months earlier and Mickey was now running Disney. Which also meant control of the theme parks. Mickey decided that seeing as Toons clearly weren't valued enough to bother educating [despite being proven as intelligent] they shouldn't bother providing entertainment at the parks either.

The Disney toons also had it worked into there contracts that they had to make periodic appearances at Disney's parks [kinds like the people dressing up as the characters do now, except it's the actual toons] and are on a rota basis. Unless they're doing an events [like Halloween for the villains or valentines day for the princes and princesses] then each toon does at least one 12-hour day at Disney per year. It was this bit that Mickey was putting a stop to.

It had a real knock-on effect as, as well as the rides, most people went there hoping for a glimpse of there favourite toon. Without that...

As much of an absolute business-killer as this idea was, Mickey was more than happy to explain to anyone who would listen [read: most of the world news] exactly WHY he was doing it. With all this pressure it was really just a matter of time until the laws changed and the toons were able to gain an education. This was in 1968.

Now as fast as things work in Toontown, this was such a complicated area that it took a full 2 years for the various schools to be built, staffed and a curriculum drawn up (which followed the same basic guide as human education, but with some added stuff and some stuff taken out. It basically followed a 'would a toon actually need this in future life?' and went from there.

Here's were it gets slightly complicated. Because I mentioned before that toons age in a weird way. But the main thing is they go up and down in there age on a day to day basis until they are about 20. This makes educating them quite difficult, to say the least.

The studios solution to this was to bring in Human teachers to teach them at the grades human children would go through. So Kindergarten, Grade 1 ext. The thing was that a lot of the toons had learn some of th education already, like identifying shapes and coulors and things. And of course the ones who were professionals [Like Ludwig Von Drake and Gus Goose] already had a college-level of education, they just needed to prove it to the teachers.

The end result of this was that it wasn't unusual for a toon to be in a class for only a few months at a time while they did the work [don't forget, they only need 4 hours of sleep as well, so they could study for longer if they wanted]

It did eventually even up though and the toons ended up spending 9 months if the right class. For example, Porky Pig aced Kindergarten all the way up till 4th grade and then found he was struggling with 5th grade. This was a shock to him after spending 21 months in education [excluding holidays], to suddenly need help. Porky was forced to realise that he had centred a lot of his identity around being 'the one who can help his friends/family read.' and hadn't expanded his personality much beyond that.

So yeah, as an average most toons took about ten years to complete Kindergarten - end of high school.

Then a few of them took college courses, which lead to them getting degrees, which led to a couple of them getting teaching degrees. The majority of the LT's you see in Tiny Toons [excluding Foghorn, who decided he didn't want to be a teacher, and Elmer who took a undergraduate degree in law until 1992] did their teaching degrees from 1988 - 1992.

There's a couple of you who might had realised that they were filing Tiny Toons at the times and learning how to be parents at the same time. That was partly why they wanted to do it then, they realised that after Tiny Toons had finished the kid would need educating. Although the human teachers had been alright, they'd found it slightly difficult to cope and the LT's didn't want their kids to go through that particularly. Also, what's the point of building a school just to got rid of it after?

So here's the main schools: (After the toons gained teaching degrees)

Disney Elementary - Kindergarten- Grade 5.

Hanna-Barbara Middle School - Grade 6_8.

The Looniversity (the name stuck after the TV show) Grades 9-12.

So the Tiny Toons finished filming in 1992 and had it promptly explained to them that they would be attending school the next August [Tiny Toons were created in 1987, so were 6 by the end of filming.]

Toons don't do pre-school because there doesn't seem to be any point. Loads of Toons have coped without preschool for decades now, why would they start now?

So the TT's started Kindergarten at Disney Kindergarten, run by Snow White and helped out by Cinderella and Fairy Godmother. Kindergarten is the only school year where the toons have to do an entire year in it, the logic being they'll have longer to get adjusted to school if they're there for a year as opposed to three months.

Then it was decided which was the toon would go. Would they move upwards into Disney Elementary school, run by the Three Good Fairies? Or would they be taught by human professors? Or - the final option - they could be privately educated. [It's mainly royalty or the children of famous toons like Micky and Minnie that go down this option. The TT's were unusual in that all the LT's opted to send there kids to Disney Elementary with the hope it would help them make friends with other toons outside the LT bubble. Whether it did or not remains up for debate.

Anyway, they then go to Hanna-Barbera Middle School, which is then followed by the Looniversity. Now, despite what was shown in Tiny Toons, The Looniversity does not focus solely on Toon Physics and the like, the kids have to study the curriculum. They have options to take Toon Physics class if they wanted to, but they don't have to.

The Toons technically don't HAVE to finish High School, but they're strongly encouraged to. College is another matter, it's quite hard so only Toons who the adults know will stand a chance of passing are encouraged to do it.

Toontown University focuses primarily on The Performing Arts and Toon Physics. As well as those subjects, it offers Art, Physical Education, separate courses of Dance, Drama and Music and LAMDA.

If a Toon wants to study the likes of Maths, English and Science they can either be privately educated [A lot of the adult toons have ridiculous amounts of money due to there cartoons and the fact that until the 50's Toontown didn't exist and all there expenses were being covered by there respective directors/studios] or they could join one of the smaller colleges that specialised in what they want to do.

Push comes to shove, they find a Adult toon [over the actual age of 25] with a degree and try to mentor under them. This happens a lot.

[dreamingabouthendery]

Soarin’ (m)

pairing: jaemin x reader

au: disneyland worker!jaemin and reader

genre: fluff, smut

word count: 6.4k

warnings: smut, swearing, mentions of drugs (you’ll see), descriptions of sick? slight tainting of childhood (not enough to scar), controversial opinions (but not literally), unfunny humour

specific smut warnings (in case you dont want spoilers): fingering, blowjob, unprotected sex (but assume character is on the pill), semi-public sex?

summary: You have worked at Disneyland since the first year of uni, which has all but destroyed your ideals of magic. But when a new boy becomes the Mickey to your Minnie, you can’t help but find yourself intrigued by the bright-eyed newbie. Maybe Disneyland is magic, afterall. (this sucks im so sorry)

very, very heavily inspired by this thread on reddit. also, i hope you enjoy! any feedback will be much appreciated (this is my first fic as im sure youll be able to tell)

Ah, Disneyland, ‘The Happiest Place on Earth’. If you’re a child, that is. Not only can you meet your favorite characters who are probably doing lines in the back between rounds, but you have the honour of being able to watch them dangle helplessly from a wire during the firework display and narrowly avoid death. It’s no wonder you’ve been working there since your first year of uni.

‘Johnny told me there’s a new Mickey coming today.’ Eva, Princess Tiana and, quite frankly, the only decent princess in the whole park, says. She’s currently struggling to pull the long, white gloves over her own blue plastic pair of gloves she puts on for ‘safety reasons’ - her words, not yours. Though, it’s not like you can blame her when the outfits only get washed...well, never.

The two of you are currently the only two in the spacious dressing room which is permanently accompanied by the stench of sweat clinging to the walls, especially since it’s summer.

‘Oh, really?’ You ask from in front of her on the worn wooden bench, pulling your clunky yellow shoes on that dwarf your feet in their enormous size. It took you months to be able to walk in them without constantly tripping. Thankfully, it seems they at least got a wash after being puked on a few days ago.

She nods, moving towards the vanity and smoothing down a stray hair. ‘I know, it didn't take them long. Poor Jeremy, though.’

You hum in agreement. Jeremy ran into some trouble whilst covering a shift for the Donald Duck regular, resulting in a few broken ribs, a black eye and a dislocated shoulder. Or so the NDA requires you to say, anyway. Needless to say he quit on the spot.

‘____?’ You turn and see Johnny, your manager, making his way over to you with a cute guy in tow. ‘This is Jaemin. Jaemin, this is ____. He’s the new weekend Mickey regular. I need you to show him around Toontown discreetly,’ He gives you a pointed look to remind you that your characters aren’t supposed to talk. ‘And then you can camp out in Mickey’s House until the attractions close.’

You smile at Jaemin and he smiles back sheepishly as Johnny walks away without another word. Jaemin has arguably the prettiest smile you’ve ever seen, accompanied by the prettiest lips and the prettiest - is that too many ‘pretty’s? -  twinkling eyes and you can wholeheartedly say you have no problem showing him around ‘discreetly’.

‘Hi, Jaemin.’ You say, suddenly aware of your current state of half-dress with your suit still unzipped and bunched around your waist. You catch him glancing at your exposed top-half and quickly zip up the back before clearing your throat and gesturing towards the locker opposite yours. ‘Mickey’s suit is usually kept in there.’

‘Uh, thanks.’ He turns quickly before looking back at you, clearly not wanting to ask you to leave but not wanting to change in front of you.

‘Meet you outside?’ You take the hint and stand up, grabbing Minnie’s head and placing it over your own.

He nods gratefully and you leave.

‘You’ll have to get used to that, you know.’ You say quietly as he joins you. For a late Saturday afternoon in the summer, the park isn’t as busy as usual; only the occasional family loiters in Toontown, though in the distance you can see the beginnings of a crowd forming in front of Sleeping Beauty’s castle in preparation for the fireworks as the sun begins to set.

‘Used to what?’

‘To seeing other cast members undressed and to them seeing you undressed.’ You say simply, waving to a child with a short brown bob and bucket hat that’s walking towards you as you head slowly from the staff area towards Goofy’s Playhouse. The child stops and asks both of you for your autographs, something that every Disney cast member has to perfect before they get to wear their suit.

‘Right,’ He mutters when she leaves. ‘What happened to the guy before me?’

You glance at him from the corner of your eye, momentarily forgetting you can’t see his face. ‘What’ve you heard?’

‘Nothing, why?’

You sigh. ‘He was jumped by some asshole teenagers. You don’t need to worry, though,’ You add quickly at his sharp intake of breath. ‘You aren’t dressed as Donald Duck so you should be fine.’ You joke.

He laughs slightly at that. ‘Who thought dressing up as a kids’ character could be so dangerous?’

‘Oh, you have no idea.’ You laugh, a little too loudly, drawing more attention to yourself than usual but automatically correct your pitch to match Minnie Mouse’s. You wave at the kids that turn to look at you and they hurry over, asking to take pictures. After they run back to their parents, you turn to Jaemin and ask, ‘So, why did you apply for the job?’

‘Wow, it’s like a second interview.’ You shake your head, mumbling a quick apology. ‘I’ve never actually been to Disneyland before, and you know,’ He gestures his hand aimlessly. ‘This is supposed to be The Most Magical Place on Earth’ - he quotes - ‘so, I guess I wanted to experience the magic firsthand.’

‘That’s Magic Kingdom.’ You correct automatically.

‘Huh?’

‘That’s Magic Kingdom’s motto. Ours is ‘The Happiest Place on Earth’.’

‘Huh. I guess there is a difference, then.’

‘Of course there’s a difference. Magic Kingdom isn’t nearly as good as Disneyland.’ You say simply.

Jaemin snorts. ‘I’m sorry I offended you.’

‘Anyway,’ You say, ‘If you’re looking for a magical experience, you’re coming at it from the wrong angle.’

‘Exactly how bad is it to work here?’ He questions, though you can hear a hint of amusement in his tone.

‘The best I can give you is unforgettable.’ You would explain to him the number of times you’ve caught both members of the public and workers having sex in various places including on various rides, and how Haunted Mansion is notorious for having people leave their loved one’s ashes in it despite the fact they just get vaccumed up, but it’s only his first day and you don’t want to scare him off.

‘Gotcha.’ He merely says and you continue on to show him the Chip ‘n’ Dale Treehouse, your favorite place in Toontown. At night, the treehouse is lit in such a way as to make it whimsical, the ragged branches no longer menacing as they are during the daytime. You can’t complain at the fact that it’s quiet due to the fact that most people overlook it, either, instead mistaking it as decoration and not an actual attraction that you can go in.

This makes it the perfect place to hide out in the nighttime, when people are busy with the most popular attractions and has made it sort of an escape to you. Well, that and it’s given you a bad back.

You pause in front of Mickey’s House. ‘This is your crib,’ you joke. ‘Are you ready for your first official shift?’ You say, feigning drama in your tone.

‘Oh, gee, Minnie, I sure am!’ He replies in Mickey’s tone, emulating it perfectly and making both of you crack up.

‘I have to warn you, though, expect your arm to go dead within the first few minutes from all the waving.’

‘Noted. This job isn’t going to give me carpal tunnel syndrome, is it?’ He asks, only half serious.

‘No, but it may make you hate kids.’

He chokes, but before he can say anything in reply, a small boy who looks about four illustrates your point by pulling down his denim shorts and taking a dump right on the tarmac next to the hideous grey mouse-shaped letterbox.

You can read Jaemin’s horror in his speechlessness as you merely sigh and pull out your radio to call in, ‘We have a code Pooh outside Mickey’s House, over.’

As you walk in your front door to your shared apartment with your roommate, Ailee, you catch her and her boyfriend, Sam, making out on the couch in the living room. You two met in the first week of uni when you both ended up at some frat party that you hated and hit it off.

‘Ew, gross, guys. You have a bedroom, you know.’ You say, throwing your bag on the coffee table and slumping down on the couch next to them, sinking into the plush white cushions.

Ailee merely throws her head back and laughs before saying, ‘Tell me all about it.’

You frown. ‘About what?’

She tuts at you impatiently. ‘Work, duh. Everyday you come home it’s been a bad day,’ She plays with a few strands of your hair comfortingly. ‘So, tell me about it.’

You scrunch your nose up. ‘Nothing out of the ordinary happened.’ You say simply, looking at your nails.

Sam laughs. ‘Even I know you look at your nails when you’re lying, ____.’

Your mouth falls open in shock, offended. ‘I do not.’ You insist and scowl internally.

‘You do,’ Ailee agrees. ‘But it’s okay, that doesn’t matter right now. What’s the juicy story for today?’

You roll your eyes. ‘I’m glad my misery is so entertaining. The only thing that’s different is that there’s a new weekend Mickey regular.’

Ailee and Sam share a pointed look. ‘And?’ She asks, drawing out the syllable.

‘And he’s cute. I guess.’ You add as an afterthought.

Ailee snorts. ‘You guess?’

You groan. ‘Okay, he’s cute, period.’ You concede.

‘So, ask him out.’

‘Can’t. It’s against the rules.’ You mumble.

She gives you an exasperated look. ‘____, sweetie, you’re the most lax person with a job still in the whole park. What’s one date to you that nobody knows about?’

You bite your lip. She does have a point. You think about how cute Jaemin was when he was nervous to greet the kids at the House and hide your grin.

‘She’d have to actually see him again, though, right?’ Sam interjects, interrupting your daydream.

‘Sam, don’t be such a Debby downer.’ Ailee whines.

Whilst it’s true that cast members in a couple usually split up, you doubt they would make Jaemin do his second shift on his own. Resolving to pluck up the courage to ask him out, you go to bed that night apprehensive about the following day.

Apparently God is punishing you for some unknown reason, because you don’t see Jaemin at all that day, or the week after. In fact, you don’t even catch a glimpse of him or the big round ears that are telling of Mickey’s character.

Eve informs you that Johnny teamed him up with Goofy for ‘variety’, meanwhile you’re being sent over to Soarin’ in Grizzly Peak, the most boring area in the whole park due to its unpopularity. You can’t help but worry slightly about Jaemin, though, thinking of the previous time you saw Daniel, Goofy’s actor, when he pulled a flask from seemingly nowhere inside his costume and took a long, deep drink before heading back out, slightly stumbling.

Before you step out, Bella, the girl who plays Cinderella (no, the irony is not lost on you), stops you and says, ‘Oh, ____, I heard the new Mickey Mouse arrived yesterday. Fingers crossed you don’t scare him into quitting, too.’ Ever since you auditioned for the part of Cinderella and lost it to her, Bella has taken to rubbing your inferiority in your face every chance she gets.

You roll your eyes and Eve says back, ‘Oh, fuck off, Bella,’ She turns to you. ‘She’s just jealous ‘cause she thinks he’s cute and he hasn’t even acknowledged her yet.’

You snort as Bella narrows her eyes and stomps away as best she can in her flimsy costume heels.

‘He was asking after you when he came in earlier, you know.’ Eve says.

‘Jaemin was?’

She hums before saying, ‘He looked so disappointed to be paired up with Goofy.’

You feel the blood rushing to your face as you smile. ‘Really?’

Eve looks at you knowingly. ‘Yep, said he wanted to thank you for being so understanding yesterday since no one wants to babysit the newbee.’

‘I’d happily babysit the newbee anytime if they looked like that.’ You say and Eve laughs.

Whilst you’re at the most boring attraction in the park, the day is still no less than eventful. You encounter a child stuck in a tree trying to skip the line for Anna and Elsa’s Royal Welcome on your way to the bathroom due to the nearest one being blocked off. After you manage to actually use the bathroom, you’re surprised to see Elsa herself there, half-dressed at the sink and you can’t help but wonder if that’s the reason the line is so long. To top it all off, one of the only times you manage to fill the ride at Soarin’, you notice a couple getting on while holding a backpack that’s moving and alert the ride operators. When they finally report back to you that there was a six-month-old baby in there, they have to convince you not to ring child protective services.

After you slam your locker closed in the deserted dressing room, you sink down on the rigid bench, putting your head in your hands and massaging your growing headache.

‘____,’ A voice starts and you jump, looking up to see Johnny standing above you, clipboard in hand. He barely gives you a second glance when he startles you, instead pretending not to notice and continuing, ‘I need you next Friday for a grad night.’

You groan. Grad nights are the worst events Disneyland continuously puts on, in the past coming second only to Nights of Joy, the annual Christian festival, before it was cancelled for good. Even the managers rejoiced in the abolition of Nights of Joy. ‘Can’t you find someone else to be Minnie? Everyone knows how bad grad nights are.’

Johnny sighs. ‘Fine, then. I’ll put you on watching the cameras for Star Tours with Jaemin.’

You ignore the way you want to immediately jump on the chance for some one-on-one time with Jaemin and raise an eyebrow. ‘Aren’t you not supposed to do that? You know, because he’s new and I’m not trained in…’ You trail off at the glare he’s giving you and purse your lips, nodding your head in acceptance.

‘Great, thanks.’ He says sarcastically and walks out.

At least the next time you return to Hell on Earth it won’t be in a Minnie costume.

You feel strange as you unlock and push open the door to the CCTV monitor room. If you had to put money on it, you would say it’s because this isn’t your job and you technically shouldn’t be here, but you’re not much of a gambler.

The heavy metal door gives way, opening to a small room with roughly fifty monitors, each displaying the Star Tours ride, the attraction itself as a whole and the surrounding area. You note the odd statue opposite the entrance that you don’t remember the name of - the satellites surrounding a distinct shape that is rocket-like. You shake your head internally at the sight. Why are the only pretty decorations reserved for Fantasyland?

You also note the dim red lighting and frown in confusion as your eyes land on Jaemin, sitting in an office chair in front of the wall of screens, wearing the same uniform consisting of a pale blue shirt and black trousers as you, except wearing it a hundred times better.

He turns upon your entrance, smiling as he takes in your attire. ‘I thought I’d set the mood with some lighting.’ He grins cheekily.

‘Oh?’ You say, stepping into the room, locking the door behind you. ‘What mood is that exactly?’

His smile grows wider as he says, ‘Adventure. We’re in for a night, so I hear.’

You groan, ‘You’ll wish you never agreed to doing this.’ You make your way to the chair next to his, sitting down on the flat cushion and leaning back.

‘How bad can it really be? These are literally a bunch of eighteen-year-olds who aren’t of legal drinking age yet and they’re supervised.’

You shook your head in mock sympathy. ‘Sweet, sweet, naive boy,’ You say. ‘Now you’ve jinxed it.’ You eye his coffee cup and wrinkle your nose in distaste at the black liquid. It looks like you’re staring into the pits of Hell. ‘What is that atrocity?’

He follows your gaze and laughs. ‘It’s coffee. Wanna try some?’ He maintains eye contact as he takes a sip and then offers it to you.

‘God, no. I have self-respect.’

He places it back down next to an intimidating set of controls, a hint of amusement in his eyes. ‘Also, I wanted to say thank you for the other week. For showing me around and stuff.’ He looks down shyly.

‘Oh, it’s, um, no problem. How have you been coping?’ You ask slightly awkwardly, not knowing what to do at his sudden personality flip-flop.

‘It’s a lot harder than I imagined it to be, honestly. I thought the worst that could happen would be screaming children and impatient parents.’ He admits.

You nod. ‘I thought the same when I first started last year. Little did I know the Karens were the least of my problems.’

He laughs breathily. ‘Tell me about it. I don’t know how you’ve managed to last so long.’

You shrug, embarrassed. ‘I just like making the kids’ day I guess.’

He coos and you push him lightly, smiling. ‘Why don’t we play a game?’ He asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You narrow your own eyes. ‘What kind of game?’

‘Hmm,’ He pretends to think, tapping his chin. ‘How about twenty-one questions?’

‘Okay,’ You say slowly. ‘What are our rules going to be?’

He smirks. ‘You only get one get-out-of-jail card. And if you use it, you have to do what the other person says.’

You sigh. ‘Fine. Then, follow-up questions to your answers don’t count.’

‘Deal. I’ll go first,’ At your mildly worried look, he says, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you. What are you studying in uni?’

‘Business and management.’ You say instantly, and he looks intrigued. ‘It was either that or English lit, and my parents weren’t too keen on me studying that.’

He frowns. ‘Why not?’

You avoid eye contact as you answer. ‘They’re both doctors,’ You clear your throat. ‘Are you in uni?’ You love your parents with all your heart but sometimes you wish they would just be happy with you being happy.

He takes the hint and moves on. ‘Yeah, I’m actually doing photography.’ He says, scratching the back of his neck.

Your head perks up. ‘Really? That’s so cool. My roommate is studying photography, too. Is that what you want to do after you graduate?’

His face relaxes. ‘I’m not really sure, to be honest. I just know it’s something I’m passionate about, you know?’ At your nod of encouragement, he continues, ‘There’s just something so amazing about capturing a moment forever in a way that really brings out its true beauty.’

You give him a small smile. ‘That sounds really special.’

He shrugs, though you can tell he appreciates it. ‘Anyway, it’s your turn to answer. Do you have a boyfriend?’

If you were drinking something, you’re sure you would have choked. ‘I-no?’

He looks slightly put out. ‘Is it complicated?’

You shake your head, maybe a little too hard. ‘No, sorry, you just caught me off guard. No, I don’t have a boyfriend.’ He looks instantly brighter. ‘Why, are you asking me out?’ You tease.

He blushes. ‘I mean, uh, I, um-’

‘Oh my God,’ You laugh, though you feel disappointed. ‘It’s okay, I was only joking. Ouch.’ You’re almost glad you didn’t get a chance to ask him out and make things awkward between the two of you. Maybe not seeing him for two weeks was a sign from the universe not to fuck up.

‘I didn’t mean it like that, oh God, I’m sorry.’ He groans and buries his face in his hands.

You tap him playfully on the shoulder. ‘It’s fine,’ You can’t help but feel hurt. Why did he ask you if he doesn’t care whether you have one or not? Maybe you’re just reading too much into it. ‘My turn, anyway. What’s traumatized you the most since working here?’

‘Learning that when cast members say ‘have a Disney day’ they really mean ‘fuck you’.’

You throw your head back and laugh. ‘That’s my favorite. Although as far as things go, that’s pretty vanilla.’

‘Maybe I’m a vanilla guy.’ He teases, and you can’t help but let your mind wander to an image of him hovering over you, reaching up to intertwine your hands together as he moans sweetly in your ear and you feel your face heat up.

‘So you’re admitting you’re boring.’ You joke halfheartedly, almost off-beat.

He places his hand over his heart in mock hurt. ‘That was uncalled for. Alright then, little miss kinky, where’s the most daring place you’ve had sex?’

Your eyes widen comically. ‘I-’ You glance at the monitors and see two figures in the back row of the mostly deserted ride, one hunched over with their head in the lap of what you make out to be a guy judging by the other figure’s movements. ‘Oh my God, no!’ You cry and fumble for the microphone.

‘What? What is it?’ Jaemin asks, his eyes searching. You can tell the moment he sees what you’re seeing, because he instantly cracks up laughing.

‘It’s not funny,’ You whine, pressing the red button on the microphone and saying as firmly as you can as monotonous as you can, ‘This is a family-friendly ride. Please refrain from scarring’ - you hiss and the figure has the decency to bolt upright and you see that they’re a girl - ‘the camera operators and fellow riders. Thank you.’ The others on the ride look around in confusion, and you can see the girl turn to say something to the boy. Judging by the way she gestures, it’s safe to assume it’s something biting.

‘I thought you said this happens all the time.’ Jaemin says once he’s calmed down enough to make the words out.

‘It does,’ You keep your eye on the couple, the guy wearing a smug grin as he zips up his trousers and the girl looking meek and embarrassed. Good. Public indecency is no joke. ‘But that doesn’t make it any less gross. This is a kids’ park for goodness sake.’

‘But there aren’t any kids around.’

You give him an exasperated look. ‘Well, I would never be okay with doing it on a ride in public.’

He licks his lips and you follow the movement only slightly too closely. ‘So when I asked where the most risky place you’ve had sex is…’ He trails off, smirking.

‘You can cross a literal children’s park from the list of possibilities, and proudly so.’ You say stubbornly. ‘Please don’t tell me you have.’ You rush to say upon seeing his face.

‘I haven’t.’ He says slowly, crossing his arms over his chest and sitting back in his chair, spreading his legs. You wish they didn’t look so inviting. You wait for him to elaborate, but he doesn’t.

‘But?’ You probe.

‘But nothing,’ He says simply. ‘So, are you gonna answer my question or are you gonna forfeit?’

You scowl at him. ‘What do you want if I do?’ You can feel your pulse racing in both excitement and fear but you keep your face blank.

His eyes shine as he leans forward, bracing his elbows on his thighs. ‘I don’t know yet.’

You swallow at his suggestive tone. ‘Fine, I’ll tell you,’ You concede, and he seems to not know whether to be pleased or disappointed. ‘My ex was a bit of an exhibitionist. He, um, you know, touched me when we went to see a movie.’

Jaemin raises an eyebrow, but you miss the glint in his gaze. ‘I thought you weren’t down for doing it in kids’ places.’

‘We were watching Paranormal Activity.’ You say flatly.

‘And?’

‘And it’s rated eighteen plus!’ You defend.

‘Is that the furthest you’ve gone in public? No compromising positions? No p in the-’

You cut him off hurriedly before he can go any further. ‘I’ve just never done it anywhere risky,’ You sigh dramatically. ‘I think I’m vanilla, too.’

He laughs loudly. ‘You don’t have to say it like it’s a bad thing. Anyway, I never said I was vanilla.’

You frown. ‘Earlier, you did.’

‘Did I? Maybe I was just saying it to tease you.’ He smiles a wide, boyish smile, completely contradicting what he’s implying with his words.

‘Oh?’ You say breathlessly. ‘Well, okay then.’

‘Don’t believe me?’

‘I-what? I never said-’

‘Would you rather I show you?’ He offers and your breath hitches as you meet his intense eyes. The warm brown seems darker and he glances at your chest as you breathe deeply. You can’t believe he said that. In the short time you’ve known him, you’re taken aback at how quickly he can switch between shyness and confidence.

When you merely stare back at him, not knowing what to say, he stands up and closes the short distance between the two of you so that his knee grazes your own as he stands above you. ‘____,’ He says, a slight rasp in his voice. ‘I need you to say it if you want this.’

You swallow and whisper, ‘Yes.’

He cups your face with his hand, his thumb softly stroking your cheek as he brings his lips down upon yours. You lift your own hand to hold his wrist which is currently beside your face and use the other one to grip onto the arm of the chair to ground yourself in the moment.

You let loose a small whimper as he glides his tongue across your bottom lip, and you part your lips to allow it in. He grips you tighter before he pulls away from your mouth to trail wet kisses across your jaw. ‘Guess you ended up tasting my coffee, anyway, hm?’ He whispers lowly into your ear before pecking it and you shudder, with both pleasure and laughter.

‘I guess so.’ You look into his eyes and see the pure hunger that makes you squeeze your thighs together.

Jaemin notices and pulls you up gently, pushing your hips into the desk with the monitors above it. Taking the hint, you spread your legs to give him room to stand between them, and he praises a quick, ‘Atta girl’, before leaning back down to reconnect your lips. You now take note of the slight hint of coffee on his tongue this time but you don’t care as you impatiently and desperately kiss him back and wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer. His hand ghosts up your thigh, making you shiver in his arms. He slowly moves to unbutton your bottoms, giving you time to stop him.

In response, however, you whine at what feels like his teasing and unbutton and unzip them yourself, causing him to chuckle as he pulls away. ‘Are you impatient, baby?’ You swoon internally at the pet name and nod, biting your lip.

‘Please,’ You manage. ‘Want you to touch me.’

He moans and slides his fingers into your underwear, not wanting to tease you over them after you asked so nicely. He grins as his fingers slide in your arousal and says, ‘You’re so wet already. Do you want me to make you come all over my fingers?’

‘Fuck, yes.’ You breathe.

His eyes drink in your rapidly rising chest and the utter desire written all over your face as he gently slides a finger inside you. ‘So tight and wet. How are you gonna take my cock if you’re this tight, hm?’ You whine and he eases a second finger in and starts thrusting at a pace that makes you arch your back. 

Your hand flies to his bicep, feeling the way it flexes under your fingertips as he scissors his fingers inside of you. His thumb finds your clit and rubs hard circles into it, the pressure being just enough to make your toes curl. You lean into him and rest your head on his shoulder, pressing a swift kiss to the juncture between it and his neck. You marvel at the way goosebumps rise upon your touch and the way your breaths feel huffing against his rapidly heating skin. You can smell the faint scent of earthiness and wood from his cologne, which you take a deep breath of and breathe in his aroma as your hand winds itself in his hair and tugs when a particular deep surge of his fingers hits a spot that makes your brain go fuzzy.

‘Jaemin.’ You moan and he all but growls.    

‘That’s it, baby, say my name. Are you close? Wanna see your face when I make you cum.’ His words weigh down your lower stomach like a ton of bricks, furthering you along in your chase to find your release. He nudges your clit deliciously, teasing you by rubbing around it every now and then, pulling you away only to bring you back with ten times the sensitivity and it’s enough to push you closer to the edge faster than when you touch yourself.

You feel the coil in your stomach tightening as you nod to answer his question and unbutton your top enough to fit your hand into your bra, your fingers finding your nipple and rolling it between them. You lift your face from his shoulder and stare into the seemingly pitless black of his eyes as they’re stuck to your face and the changes in your expression as he brings you to the edge. ‘Yes, don’t stop, please.’ You manage. His features are hard to make out in the dim lighting, but you notice the way his eyes zero in on your hand stuffed into your bra and it’s when he picks up the pace, fucking his fingers into you harder that you finally let go. Your eyes roll back and your grip on his arm tightens as you moan his name like a mantra.

He takes his fingers out after riding you through your high and makes eye contact as he sucks his fingers clean. ‘Mm, sweet.’ He teases.

You hide behind your hands in embarrassment and he laughs as he pries them away from your face. ‘You gonna let me bend you over this desk, now?’ He grins.

You nod meekly, your legs trembling as you stand up to your full height. Jaemin unbuttons your blouse as you return the gesture on him, pushing his shirt open to run your fingers down the ridges in his stomach. You teasingly flick your thumbs over his nipples and he gasps, to which you smirk and repeat the motion, causing him to moan and you bite your lip at the sound. ‘Sensitive, are you?’

He slaps your ass playfully in response, pulling your trousers and underwear down in one go. You reach behind you and unclip your bra as you step out of the pool of clothing at your feet, pulling it down your arms slowly. He opens his mouth to make a remark, but decides against it as your breasts come into view. He sucks in a breath and reaches up, tugging your left nipple that’s standing to attention. ‘You’re perfect.’ He says, taking in your figure.

You smile, hearing the sincerity in his voice. ‘I want to see you, too.’ You pout, pulling on his belt loops so that he’s even closer and then reaching down to undo them.

He helps you by unbuckling his belt and letting his trousers drop to the floor. You reach into his underwear and run your fingers down his length before wrapping your hand around it and moving it up and down. He throws his head back and you kiss down his neck, tasting the bittersweet salt of his sweat and the natural flavour of his skin. You pull him out of his underwear and begin to pick up the pace but all too soon he puts his hand over yours, halting you.

‘I want to come inside you.’ He phrases it like a question and you nod, turning around and bending over the desk. His hands smooth over the flesh of your ass as he says, ‘You look so good like this.’ Jaemin runs his length between your lips to lube himself and then situates himself so that he’s pressing against your entrance. ‘Ready?’

‘Yes. Please, Jaemin.’ You push your hips back so he gets the hint.

‘That never gets old,’ He pushes himself in steadily and you gasp at the stretch and how satisfying it feels. ‘Been wanting to hear you moan my name since the first day.’

You moan as he thrusts into you, hard and fast. His pace is almost bruising, the way he grips your hips assures you that you’ll feel a smattering of fingertip-shaped soreness tomorrow when you run your fingers over the area. ‘Me too.’ You say in between breaths. He reaches up to roll your bud between his fingers and you whine; your hand travels between your legs to rub your clit. It jumps a little from sensitivity but you keep at it until you just feel pure, white-hot pleasure.

‘Fuck!’ He shouts as you clench around him once he hits a spot that has you grasping his wrist. ‘You feel so fucking good,’ He praises, kissing up your back until he’s whispering in your ear, ‘So. Fucking. Good.’ In between thrusts. You shudder and turn your head, capturing his lips in yours. The kiss is messy but neither of you can bring yourselves to care, too lost in the feeling and taste of each other to pay it any mind. The sound of your hips connecting fills the small room, echoing as it bounces off the walls until your head is filled with his moans and his skin on yours and just Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin.

You feel yourself hovering over the edge almost embarrassingly quick and you cry out, ‘I’m so close.’

‘Yeah? Gonna come all over my cock like a good girl?’ He says huskily and you bite your lip and nod. You never would’ve guessed the timid boy you met on the first day who looked so innocent as the new guy had such a dirty mouth. It makes you shiver all over, loving the way his words caress your skin and make your nipples stand to an impossible hardness.

‘Yeah. Wanna be good for you.’

He groans. ‘You are, baby, you’re so good for me.’ At his words, you feel yourself come undone and your legs shake from the effort of holding you up. Jaemin whines as you clench around him sporadically, your breaths coming out in ragged puffs. You swear the sound pushes you harder for longer, wanting to do everything you can to hear him make such a pretty noise again.

‘Wait,’ You say, and he stops immediately. ‘I’m too sensitive. I can’t-’ Your voice cracks.

‘Can’t what, ____? Do you want me to stop?’ You can hear the genuine concern laced in his words.

‘No, well, yes,’ You huff and turn around, letting him slide out of you and you internally cringe at the feeling of him brushing against your sensitive walls. ‘Come here.’ You reach for his hands and pull him back over to you, closing the distance he put between you after you turned around. He looks confused as you smile lazily and kiss him sloppily, your hand moving between his legs to grab him at the base and squeezing him.

He moans and breaks off the kiss. ‘____, if you want to stop-’ You shush him as you drop to your knees and his eyes light up as you lean in to kiss the tip of him lovingly.

You trail your tongue from base to tip and take him in your mouth, suckling the head.

He curses. ‘Please don’t tease, I’m so close already.’

You relent, opening your mouth as wide as you can and sinking down to fit as much of him as you can. What doesn’t fit, you stroke with your hand. You can just about fit your hand around his girth and you can taste yourself on him, something you never thought you’d like but in that moment nothing could be hotter. He fists his hands in your hair, tugging slightly to make you look up at him. When you do, you moan around him at the sight - teeth tugging on his lower lip as he lets out moans here and there when you pay extra attention to the tip and his head thrown back, baring the honey-colored skin of his neck to your hungry eyes. He finally looks down at you and you’re close enough to hear his breath hitch as he watches you take him in and out of your mouth in a trance. You twist and tug him in a way that has his thigh twitching next to your head and so you place your hands on them and take him into your throat.

It’s when you simultaneously fondle his balls that he lets out a quiet ‘fuck’, followed by an ‘I’m coming’ and thrusts shallowly, causing tears to spring in your eyes. He releases into your mouth and you swallow it down and clean him off, earning that whimper that makes your clit throb.

Jaemin pulls you to your feet and into a kiss that you both commit to; one that’s passionate and slow as you calm both of your racing hearts and come down from the high of intimacy. You know he can taste himself on you, but he doesn’t hesitate to give his all. When he breaks away, he leans his forehead against yours, leaving wet kisses all over your face and you giggle. He runs his hands up your arms and says, ‘So, can I take you on a date now?’

You look into his eyes and nod, feeling suddenly shy at his vulnerable stare. ‘Yeah, I’d like that.’

‘So,’ He says casually, pulling you in closer by wrapping his arms around your shoulders. ‘Is this officially the weirdest place you’ve had sex?’

You gasp and slap his chest lightly but he just cackles in return, pulling you back into him.

[uwuinator]

okay some of the members on the dsmp are just so,,, surreal to me still

like quackity? yeah he's been on the dsmp for almost a full year now but i still can't get over that fact that

he's IN it, you know?

i used to be so active in his community when he was a toontown streamer, i used to watch him when he STARTED YOUTUBE, and we used to genuinely be friends! i was literally a mod in his twitch chat!!!! so it's just,, insane to see that he's been able to make it this far and do what he's able to. hell, he even WON MCC TODAY! he's so much happier with his content now that it's truly insane. and i'm so glad for him for it.

i have a friend who edits for someone really close to michaelmcchill!

i literally have a friend who STILL TALKS TO CHARLIE SLIMECICLE BECAUSE THEY WERE COLLEGE BUDDIES! HE'S LITERALLY A MOD IN THE CHAT!

it's incredible to see these things, and i don't think i'll ever be able to get over it.

(it's gonna get ✨extra vent-y✨ in here under the cut so read only if u want to im extra emotional today)

i just can't help but feel jealous and envious, because it's something i've always wanted to do and i've worked decently hard for it with no fruit to bear for it, and i've always struggled with the feelings of validation. i've always had a desire to be famous for something, whether it be myself or something i create, so seeing my friends get an easy pass, despite me being happy as all hell for them, i can't help but feel a pit in my stomach that's just burning jealousy. and i feel awful for it. like, "i'm trying my hardest out here and not getting rewarded at all, and yet someone else does something small and they get the praise? but it's my friend! i should feel happy for them! why am i feeling so bad about it?!" it's so much worse for me too though because i've always struggled with the feeling of being invisible and never feeling like i'm really there even though i am, and every time someone gets praised for something i've also done beforehand it just,,, hurts you know?? like i want to be seen for something for once! i have ideas and i'm here! and yet, nobody even hears it. or sees it. unless someone else says it. i have to make people see it myself, and i feel bad for it. like, i know i should be promoting myself, but i feel guilty for doing so and i can't shake the awful feeling, because even though i really need to, i can't bring myself to it... but even then whenever i do it just feels like it's ignored and nobody cares. and it only makes me feel worse. i'm happy where i am right now, but i can't find my way out of the low points, and yes, i have a better time now then i did a few years ago, but i can't shake my feelings of self doubt and dehumanizing myself every time i want to feel happy about something related to it. i just want to make content people are happy with, but i can't find the right people, or anything. i never feel supported even though i know i have people there for me. i always feel like i'm alone whenever i'm with a group of people. hell, that one stream where c!ranboo was like "i'm not a person anyone would pick over someone else" hit me SO HARD that it still shakes me to this day. i honestly struggle with those feelings so much, like, i'm in a huge group of friends, but i don't think anyone would pick me over someone else. everyone else has someone they like more, who they've talked with more, who they see as a bigger person in their life. i'm just there to provide entertainment. i always feel like a side character in my own story. i'm the stage crew in a play of my own life. i'm filming a movie of my decisions instead of being the star. and it gets so much worse when one thing gets attention and i feel like "oh its my time! i'm finally growing! i can finally do something! i can finally be someone people look up to!" and then when the next day comes and i'm ready to go, i'm just left there. because it was a simple one-time thing. and i shouldn't feel that much validation from it. but i do. and i don't know how to stop that. i find myself sitting there without a smile, and without a happy spot for a good few days. i feel like i failed and people hate me because i was doing something. i always feel like my ideas are shit because they flop due to no reason at all. i try and do something cool that i think will catch attention, but it doesn't work. and when i see all these people i know and follow get praised for the exact same thing i can't help but feel ill with my own feelings from it. i shouldn't be, but i am, and its getting to be a lot on my own mental health.

like jesus christ i shouldn't even be venting on this post yet here the fuck i am spewing whatever comes out of my mouth like a madman

sorry about that

i'll leave you guys alone now, enjoy the post without the vent

[freddiesaysalright]

Dancing With Ben Week 3

A Ben Hardy x Reader Fic Disney Night - Jazz

Summary: Reader is one of the pro dancers on Dancing With the Stars. It’s her second season on the show, and this time, her partner is none other than Ben Hardy. Will they win the Mirror Ball? Maybe they’ll win something even more meaningful!

Word Count: 3K

Tag List:  @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @twigleektribute23, @ionlyhavepicturesofflowers, @asquiresofftime, @caborhapch, @iwasnothingbutacityboy, @a-kind-of-magik, @anxious-diabetic, @royalblueviper, @toms-irish-girl If you’d like to be added, let me know!

Week 1  Week 2

Week 3 here we go!!!

Disney night was a favorite of yours. It reminded you of childhood and the night was always joyful. Also, you got to take a break from rehearsal one day and go to DisneyLand. You were really looking forward to spending the day at the park with Ben, even if the cameras were following you around for most of the day. 

“Are you ready to have a fun Disney day?” you asked eagerly as you entered the park.

“I am,” he chuckled, looking at you.

You felt like a little kid again. You donned Minnie Mouse ears and everything for the day. You hardly noticed the way Ben gazed at you, like you were positively the sweetest thing he had ever seen. You took his hand and led him over to Cinderella’s castle, where you would shoot some things for the video package.

You stood with him in front of the castle, and faced him. “So, what was your favorite Disney movie as a kid?”

“I always loved The Jungle Book and 101 Dalmations,” he said. “I was into the animals.”

“No princesses, huh?”

He shook his head. “Nah.”

“You do know you look like a Disney prince, right?”

He laughed, throwing his head back. “I guess so.”

“It’s not a guess, Hardy, I’m right,” you insisted with a smirk. 

“Which prince am I going to be this week, then?” he asked.

“Actually, we’re doing something different,” you told him. “You and I are doing a jazz routine to Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious from Mary Poppins.” 

“I can’t believe you said that without messing up,” he said, impressed. “Do it again.”

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,” you said.

“One more time.”

“Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”

“Oh, you’re good.”

You giggled. “Thank you.”

“So, what do I need to know about jazz?” he asked.

“It is very fun and very Disney,” you said. “One step you’ll have to know is the Charleston.”

“Show me, coach,” he said.

You slowly walked him through the basic Charleston step. The camera guys got a shot of you doing it together for the package. Ben already had it down, blowing you away with how easy most of this came to him. Then, you headed out to enjoy the park.

“Do you like roller coasters?” you asked.

“I love them,” he said. “You?”

“I love them!” you agreed. “Oh, we’re gonna have so much fun today.”

You took his hand again and led him to the first ride. The line wasn’t terribly long since it was the middle of the week, but it was still Disney, so tourists were crowding the park. Ben held your hand throughout the ride. Even through the first drop, when your hands were in the air, they were intertwined. You looked quickly at each other before it went down, your stomach turned, and you screamed together. When you clamored off the ride at the end, your legs wobbled, but Ben held you up.

You continued through the park this way - hand in hand. You were heading to get some food, when a tiny hand tapped your knee. You looked down and saw a weepy little girl, looking desperately up at you. She was wearing a Cinderella dress, but her tiara was askew in her hair.

“Excuse me,” she sobbed. “Can you help me?”

“Yeah, honey, what’s wrong?” you asked, kneeling down to her level. 

“I’m lost,” she said with a sniffle. “I can’t find my mommy.”

“Where did you last see her?” Ben asked. 

“By the castle,” she answered.

You were in Toontown, so it wasn’t terribly far. It was still a long way for a girl her age to go alone. 

“Alright, we can walk you back over there and see if we can find her,” you said.

“O-okay,” she stammered with a nod.

“What’s your name, lovie?” Ben questioned gently.

“Laci,” she said.

“I’m Ben, and this is Y/N,” he told her. “It’s nice to meet you, Laci.”

The corners of her mouth  twitched upward as he smiled at her. 

“Can you hold our hands?” you suggested. 

“Hold on, I’ve got a better idea,” Ben said. “How’d you like to sit way up high on my shoulders, Laci? That way you can see your mum from wherever she is.”

Laci nodded enthusiastically. Together, you hoisted her up until she was settled on his shoulders, legs dangling on either side of his head. He held her ankles. At last, she laughed.

“Lean forward, lovie,” he said. “Don’t want you to slip off.”

“Okay!” she agreed brightly.

“That was a quick turnaround,” you said to Ben under your breath. 

“Kids love to be tall,” he replied simply. 

“Mr. Ben, why do you talk funny?” Laci asked from her seat atop him.

You grabbed his arm and snickered. “Mr. Ben!”

He chuckled. “Well, I’m from another country. England.”

“Oh!” she said. “Like Harry Potter!”

“Yes, like Harry Potter,” he said, smiling. 

“Do you know him?” she wondered.

“Not well,” he answered. “We’ve met, but, as you know, he’s a rather busy person.”

They carried on back and forth and you looked on with admiration. A pang of irritation went through you as you overheard the camera guy and producer exchange a few words.

“Are you getting this?” the producer asked.

“Yeah, they’re gonna love it,” said the camera man.

You made your way back to the castle and Ben instructed Laci to be on the lookout for her mother. You kept your eyes peeled as well for a woman who might be distressed. Laci wiggled on Ben and gave an excited cry. He gripped her legs tighter to keep her upright.

“There she is!” she said. “By the statue!”

You squinted and saw a pretty blonde woman up ahead. She looked frantic and was calling out. You jogged ahead, so you could lead her back to her daughter. 

“Hi!” you called. “Are you Laci’s mom?”

“Yes!” she sighed. “Is she with you?”

“Yeah,” you assured her. “And she’s fine, don’t worry.”

At that moment, Ben caught up. He lifted Laci off his shoulders and lowered her to the ground. She hurtled toward her mother and wrapped herself on her legs.

“Thank you!” her mother cried. “I stopped in a shop to grab one thing, and the next thing I knew she was gone.”

“She came right up and asked us for help,” you said.

“Seriously, thank you so much,” she said. 

A beat passed as she looked at you. “Aren’t you two on Dancing With the Stars?”

You smiled. “Yeah! I’m Y/N, and this is Ben Hardy.”

“I thought I recognized you,” she said. “The whole family are big fans.”

“We hope that means you’re voting for us,” Ben joked.

She laughed. “Of course! Especially now, after what you’ve done. Is there...anything else I can do for you guys to thank you?”

You and Ben exchanged a surprised look.

“No, nothing,” he assured her. “Really, she was no trouble.”

“Then can I just ask for a picture?” she said a little sheepishly.

“Of course!” you agreed.

She picked up Laci and put her on her hip. Ben took her phone and you all leaned in for a selfie. He snapped the photo and returned her phone to her and she thanked you again and again. When you parted ways at last, Laci in her mother’s arms, she waved to you over her shoulder, until she was out of sight.

“What a sweetheart,” you cooed. You turned to Ben. “And you! You really were like a Disney prince!”

He looked at the ground. “No, I wasn’t. I was just being a good person.”

“You literally swept her off her feet,” you said.

“I do the same thing to you every week,” he teased, winking at you.

It made you stop in your tracks. You caught your breath and then kept on walking. Shortly after, the cameras were gone and you and Ben were free to enjoy the rest of the afternoon however you liked. You packed as much as you could into the day, since Ben had actually never been before. You had an absolute blast on all the rides, sometimes holding tightly to him as you went. A few other people recognized you and asked for pictures as well, which you happily agreed to.

Finally, you stopped to eat something. You picked a restaurant in the New Orleans Square and sat down to eat. As you waited for your food, you chatted some more.

“So, are you excited for this week’s dance?” you asked.

“I’m always excited to dance with you,” he replied, and you hoped he missed the color that flooded your cheeks. “But I am excited for this dance. I’m actually a bit relieved to not be a prince character.”

“Why?” you wondered.

“Well, I feel like it’s how everyone sees me,” he explained. “The hot guy or whatever. I want to be known for my performance, not the way I look. It’s why - when I have a choice - I always choose to remain clothed.”

You cocked your head to the side with a questioning look. He laughed at how cute you were.

“For example, when I did Woman in White, there was a scene where I could have had my shirt off,” he said. “I chose to keep it on because I wanted people focused on the scene. Not my body.”

“Are you insecure about it or something?” you asked, incredulous at the idea.

“No, not at all,” he answered. “I’m proud of my body and all that but I don’t like being objectified. Ogled.”

“It makes you feel like the reason you get parts is because you’re eye candy,” you summarized.

“Yes, exactly,” he said. “I want to be recognized for my talent.”

“Ben, you are a very handsome man,” you said, holding out your hand, which he took. “But you are so much more than that. You’re really talented. Not just at acting, but dance now too. Even more than both those things, you’re genuinely one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. It’s probably what I like most about you.”

“I appreciate that,” he said. “Really.”

You enjoyed dinner together and you realized your newfound respect for Ben. He took his art really seriously. He had fun, but he was intent on doing things the right way. You admired him greatly for it.

The next day, you began rehearsals. Ben was enthusiastic as usual as you broke down the basics for him. One fun thing about this routine was that you were doing a lift where he had to flip you over a cane. It was whimsical and interesting. Ben was incredibly careful with you. Luckily, he was strong and only dropped you once. You laughed on the floor when he fussed and wondered if you were okay. 

“I’m fine!” you insisted. “Believe me, this happens all the time. Do you need a break?”

“Yeah, maybe a short one,” he said.

You sat down and grabbed some water, allowing him to shake it off. At that moment, Sasha entered, carrying a gossip magazine. You raised an eyebrow at him.

“Look what I found!” Sasha teased. “You two were really cozying up at Disney, eh?”

He handed you the magazine and you opened it to the page he had dog-eared. You groaned when you saw it. It was you and Ben at the restaurant holding hands. The text speculated you were in a relationship, and also implied how it would break James’s heart that you had “moved on.”

“Looks like you two are the couple of the season,” Sasha said.

“I’m happy to take some of the pressure off Sharna, but this is ridiculous,” you said. It usually was Sharna who was rumored to be dating her male partners on the show. 

“Yeah, Y/N was just being nice to me right then,” said Ben. “We were really just having a moment of genuine friendship.”

“You know how it goes,” Sasha said. “The press has to come up with some scandal if they can. Unless of course it’s true.”

You smacked him on the arm. “Don’t you have some rehearsal you need to be at, Mr. Bottom Two?” 

Sasha feigned offense. “Oh, she’s feisty. Good luck, Ben!” 

He left with a laugh and without the magazine. You kicked it into the corner. 

“Let’s get back to work, shall we?” you said. 

Ben smiled and agreed. 

He picked up the routine well. You worked extra hard to get the parts where you tossed his cane and your umbrella down to perfect timing. By the time dress rehearsal rolled around, you were feeling great. You were getting fitted for your dress. It was the white one, similar to what Julie Andrews wore in the movie, but with a little more sex appeal. Your neckline was a deep vee, and the red bit really cinched in your waist. The skirt only went just past your knees and you couldn’t resist doing a twirl and getting the layers floating around your legs.

You heard Ben gasp in the doorway. You beamed at him. 

“Wow,” he sighed. “You look…”

“Practically perfect in every way?” you finished.

He nodded. You naturally made you way to his arms and settled there. 

“You look pretty good yourself, handsome,” you said, straightening his bow tie. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

“Are you ready to kill it?” you asked. 

“It’s only dress rehearsal,” he laughed.

“No excuses, Hardy,” you said, poking his chest. “Give me everything you got, remember?”

“Yes, coach.”

You made it through dress rehearsal without a hitch. You were sure you and Ben would be getting even higher scores this time around. It was going so smoothly. 

The time came for the performance. You and Ben were going right in the middle of everyone else, which was fine with you. You were certain he’d stand out. Tom started to introduce you.

“Next up, take a look at Ben and Y/N’s experience at Disney, where they faced an unexpected visitor,” he said.

The video package showed you and Ben talking and then they included finding Laci. You rolled your eyes. Ben actually watched the video this time, and he smiled at Laci’s face.

“She really was cute, wasn’t she?” he said.

You nodded. “Well, she and her mom are voting so let’s do them proud.”

You got set up as the video faded to black, the music started, and you began your routine. 

You and Ben leapt around that dance floor like Mary Poppins and Bert were right off the screen. He got every step. He nailed the small lift, and you felt like you really brought some fire to that jazz. When you finished, you embraced, before heading over to the judges, very much out of breath. 

“Once again, I’m shocked,” Carrie Ann began. “Seriously, jazz can be so hard, and Y/N pulled no punches with that choreography.” She added a few notes about footwork.

“I won’t lie to you, Ben,” Len began, but then he broke into a smile. “I really, really liked that dance. You went in there, gave it some welly, and you performed a real jazz number. Well done.”

You and Ben laughed and squeezed each other. 

“I loved that dance,” Bruno agreed. “You were bouncing around, and you really captured the essence of Mary Poppins and Dick Van Dyke in that movie. And honestly, you behaved like a real Disney hero for that little girl in the park. Well done, Ben!”

They all clapped for you as you headed to the skybox to talk to Erin and receive your scores. The other pros and contestants high fived you guys as you came through, finally stopping in front of the camera.

“Great job, you guys!” Erin said. “Honestly, Ben, you and that little girl had my heart just melting. What exactly happened there?”

“Y/N and I were walking and the girl - Laci - literally just walked up and asked us to help her find her mum,” he explained. “She was so sweet, so we helped her out, and luckily, her mum wasn’t too far away.”

“Still so, so cute,” she said. “Let’s see what the judges thought.”

You waited while the scores came in. All three of them scored you a nine. You screamed with joy and leapt into Ben’s arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. The three nines placed you at the top of the leaderboard. You felt like you were in the clouds. Between the dance, the scores, and the thrill of being in the lead, nothing could bring you down. Ben was exactly the same. You couldn’t stop hugging each other. 

“You did it!” you cried. “I’m so proud of you!”

“We did it!” he returned. “Together!”

You got warm all over from the sentiment. 

Finally, it was elimination time. You and Ben joined the other couples on the stage as you waited once again for Erin and Tom to go through couple by couple to tell them who was in danger. You gripped Ben’s hand so tight, you were sure his fingers were bruised. 

“Ben and Y/N,” Erin said. “I’m sorry, you guys are in danger tonight.”

Your mouth fell open and you looked at Ben. He swallowed and pulled you under his arm. He kissed your forehead and you closed your eyes. You held tightly to him, fearing you may not get to hold him again. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“It’s not over yet,” he said, sounding more confident than he looked. 

You waited. There were three couples total in danger. You and Ben, Sasha and his partner, and Lindsay and her partner. 

“The couple that is leaving us tonight is…” Tom began.

You gripped handfuls of Ben’s jacket, sending a silent prayer that you wouldn’t have to let him go yet. You weren’t ready. 

“Sasha and…”

You sighed with relief, but did not let go of Ben. He didn’t release you either. You held each other for a long moment. The others were already moving to say goodbye to Sasha and his partner. You and Ben looked at each other and then joined them, noticeably behind. 

“That concludes Disney night,” Tom said to the camera. “Thanks for joining us and come back next week to see what our stars come up with for country night!”

[cetaceanhandiwork]

Disneyland Reloaded

So a week ago, give or take, I replied to a post on another website which basically asked “if you were given the job of rebuilding Disneyland, would you change anything?” The question got me thinking a fair bit about the Anaheim Disney resort’s overarching themes, and where they work or don’t work, resulting in a giant three-part comment to fully explain my redesign.

Today, I feel like sharing those ideas with y'all over here, too!

Let's begin with the assumptions that...

we can get permits in Anaheim but no new land...

we have a budget that could theoretically rebuild the whole park if it had to but not too much beyond that, and...

original Walt-era Disneyland stuff may be difficult to move without damaging or destroying, and deliberately destroying and rebuilding it, while allowed, may not be desirable for reasons of preserving park history.

Given that, my high-level approach would be a refocusing of each park's experience on its core concept. I envision three parks:

Disneyland - worlds of "yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy" - embodied by the genres Walt himself grew up with.

A reimagining of California Adventure that synthesizes the original idea of "Califorina, the real place you are visiting right now, presented as a fictional place to explore" with the running Pixar theme of "secret peoples and communities that live alongside humanity, in the here and now, just outside our line of sight".

A new third gate that focuses on stories of larger-than-life heroism and villainy - the native park of Star Wars, MCU, Pirates-the-movie-series, and other similar properties.

This effort, as I see it, would have to start with some Tetris-ing, in an attempt to make the most of the limited Anaheim acreage:

Utilidors. This Disney World system - of putting backstage and CM areas underground - was invented precisely because WED wished they’d done it in Anaheim. If we’re starting from scratch, we can backport this design and immediately unlock a lot of space.

Drop Disneyland Drive north of Cerritos underground as well.

Consolidate remaining parking. At worst, this is a third Mickey & Friends that encompasses all other resort parking. At best, we get permits to put underground levels on parking structures and reduce the footprint further. Put this in the southeast corner of the resort; get rid of the Paradise Pier Hotel for now.

Strip Avengers Campus off of DCA, strip Galaxy's Edge and the Fantasyland Theatre off of Disneyland. This will free up enough space to put DCA and the GCH east of Disneyland, with its gate on the other end of a rerouted Downtown Disney.

That done, we can move on to the main event.

❖❖❖

Of these, Disneyland itself would see the fewest changes, both in the interests of preserving the history and because it's already fairly close to what we want. The paradigm is as it always was: each "land" represents a genre in microcosm, matched not against any particular IP, but presented as a... prototypical or archetypical space in which all those stories might occur.

This is a good framing device and a solid core concept, and I'm not gonna mess with it. However, there are still a few things I'd rearrange.

For instance: Critter Country would move to the eastern side of the Rivers of America, placed between the rural American Frontierland, the funny animals of Toontown, and the fable-laden Fantasyland. I imagine it taking up sort of the same space as the old Big Thunder Ranch and Fairgrounds, connected with Frontierland on one side (with Splash Mountain still bordering the Rivers of America) and Toontown (bordering Winnie the Pooh) and Fantasyland (bordering a new indoor/outdoor Robin Hood darkride) on the other.

Toontown would need few changes, other than a careful touching up of the effects to match modern standards. I would like to squeeze in one minor expansion, though, if possible, by moving the Monorail wheelhouse: a small Disney Villains themed area - perhaps a seedy watering hole? - nestled away in Downtown Toontown.

Fantasyland, meanwhile, would reclaim the Theater and some backlot space (thanks Utilidoors!) and use that room for a couple new rides - particularly, a Beauty and the Beast attraction and a Frozen attraction. I resist here the impulse to put Frozen next to the Matterhorn mainly because that Fantasyland real estate has another important purpose: the Fantasia and Tomorrowland lagoons get rejoined, and become the show area for a Little Mermaid ride, boarding near Small World, that actually takes place "unda da sea". (The technology for underwater, low-occupancy-vehicle ride systems does exist in the current state of the art, although it'd need some iteration to theme as properly Fantasyland.) As much as I would personally regret seeing the submarines go, I can't deny that their ride system is claustrophobic, stuffy, and poorly accessible, and that guests deserve something with lower "minimum requirements" to ride.

Compared to those, Tomorrowland would get a more comprehensive refocusing. I've posted before about my take on Tomorrowland's DNA: that isn't just "the future", but "the challenge and promise of the future". People talk a lot about how it's a Land that's perpetually out of date - that our vision of the future changes too fast for the Park to keep up. Aesthetically, that's a fair point. But on an attraction level... we don't have to aim a mere five minutes into the future to talk about its challenge and promise - to talk about the future optimistically, as as better world we can reach towards today and eventually grab onto.

Space is, of course, an easy example; space has been an "unreasonable but longed-for future" since Walt's days. Bring back the mission to Mars. Add a space elevator that you can ride as an observation tower, or take the "express" and make it a droptower that uses its drop to simulate zero gravity. On a more terrestrial side... put in a dinosaur or giant animal dark ride - fantastical experiments in biology, at once excited for the potential there, and cautious about how important it is to get right. Maybe do something with Inside Out as a "fantastic psychology" concept. Give the Land an AI caretaker character, puppeteered by several CMs behind the scenes to create the illusion that it's a single person multiplexing.

You can keep Star Tours - the galaxy of Star Wars may be a gritty and cynical world, but Star Tours is a lighthearted and hopeful take on it. You can keep the monorail, too - it's still futuristic to Americans - and route it through the Land's rides the same way the PeopleMover once did, and the same way the boats and trains do in other Lands. Maybe you can even fit in a Wall-E based attraction - now that's a story that's an emulsion of the future's "challenges" and its "promise" if ever there was one in Disney's catalogue.

As for Adventureland? It's got a different obsolescence problem than Tomorrowland: not that the world has left a particular vision behind, but that the world has left the whole genre it represents behind. Walt grew up with the "Adventure" genre, of pith helmet explorers in the Southeast Asian jungle or the African veldt, but we don't really have that genre anymore. And with Disneyland as a worldwide tourist destination, it becomes... strange to have people coming from the places that genre was based on, only to see this caricature of the places they know reflected back as it was seen by clueless Brits a century ago. I want to believe there's something sensible to do with this Land, something that can preserve its essence and history while still making it meaningful to the stories we tell today and the people who were on the other side of the old stories, but I honestly don't know how to do it, or what it would even look like when we were done. All I know is that if nothing else I need to stick a giant bookmark here, because I'd have to do something.

Main Street, finally, would remain mostly unchanged by the advancing years, except for one upgrade: its illusory second floor would at last become a real one - not as shops, but as Dream Suite-esque prestige accomodations. On any given night, roughly half of these would be booked like on-property hotel suites, at rates befitting the rare magic of spending the night inside the Magic Kingdom's pomerium. The other half would be handed out at random to guests who bought resort/GNH packages, or otherwise booked their trip such that Disney knows they're staying overnight, to put that magic, in theory, within every guest's reach.

❖❖❖

So for Disneyland, the changes have been less structural, and more focused on rearranging an existing structure to update and future-proof it.

California Adventure, on the other hand, needs something deeper, because at the moment, its theming is... confused. When it first opened, it was designed single-mindedly as a pastiche of California as a whole: Hollywood, San Francisco, Yosemite, Sonoma, Monterey, the Central Valley, and Santa Monica Pier. Over time, this theming - which proved less compelling than the Imagineers had hoped it would be - has eroded to make room for Intellectual Properties that could find no space on the other side of the Esplanade.

Today it's a hodgepodge of the old California theming, skin-deep Pixar references, and an increasing amount of Marvel stuff. There's no central idea like there is at Disneyland, or at Epcot and Animal Kingdom down in Florida.

Where I see the potential here is in Pixar's long-running theme: "what if [fill in the blank] were people", often imagined as those people secretly existing in our modern everyday world, which just so happens to be paired with a park that's themed to a real place, in the present day.

In other words, what if we made that pairing of themes explicit? What if we lean into the idea that you're "exploring" California, both to discover what's prosaically there, and what's fantastically there? What if we present that sort of Californian adventure?

I'm imagining a park pomerium based on the concept of the "road trip", inasmuch as it is the classical way to explore California. No miniature rail here; you'll pile into a trailer towed by Goofy and Max in their (now window-tinted) car, or by the Onward boys' van, or so forth. (I'd love to get the Cars cars in on towing duty but I don't know if the animatronics are good enough yet.)

You'll still pass through places like Grizzly Peak (where e.g. Bugs might also Live), a Pacific Wharf that's annexed some of Paradise Pier (where we can Find Nemo now that the submarines are closed), and the Hollywood Backlot (where city-dwelling nonhumans - like Monsters and Muppets - might lurk). Radiator Springs would be easily reconciled to this Park concept - melding it with the old Route 66 and I-5 travellers' towns, building it about half for humans and half for cars.

I would need external advice, at this point, to figure out how far this theme can go. I see... some potential in making explicit room to pay homage to Mexican heritage of California (with its hidden world being Coco's fantastical take on the Land of the Dead). But it'd have to be done respectfully, and would be easy to screw up without guidance on what exactly qualifies as respectful or not respectful.

From another angle, I'm also not sure yet quite where Toy Story fits into the picture, but every element of the park's Pixarish theming points to that headline IP needing to fit in somewhere.

❖❖❖

And with that taken care of, comes the question of the third gate. We position it across from Disneyland proper, in California Adventure's old real estate. Pragmatically, this mystery Park must support stories like MCU or Star Wars - the new additions to Disney's IP stable, set in soft sci-fi universes chock full of larger-than-life heroism and villainy. It would have more strict, single-setting-per-Land theming, to support Galaxy's Edge, the Avengers Campus, the new Artemis Fowl series, and so forth. Perhaps Tortuga as well - the cinema vision of Pirates is popular enough that it should be able to support a home, and building one for it here will ease pressure off of its Disneyland predecessor to be flagbearer for an IP it was never designed to host.

How does one support this with a gateway/hub Land? How does one define a pomerium around it? Strict set construction as a principle of the park implies that we have to invent a new IP for this purpose, something Kingdom-Hearts-like but less... cartoonish, to match the less cartoonish worlds it lets you visit. A futuristic mode of transportation seems called for to ferry guests from Land to Land. Perhaps this is where the iconic Disneyland Monorail design finally finds its place in Disney fiction and not just history: to be - within this new setting - a vehicle for interdimensional travel. The park's hub would then have platforms for two Monorail lines: one bound for "Earth 1313: Tomorrowland, Hollywood, and the Disneyland Hotel" (for we would expand the resort-wide monorail track to support park hopper travel), and the other bound for this new park's immersive Lands.

The third gate's position across from Disneyland proper, combined with the increased use of underground tunnels and infrastructure, adds another potentially useful gimmick: the ability to link it to Disneyland in a manner similar to Universal Orlando's Hogwarts Express. Imagine park-hopper-only lines where your Star Tour will land on Batuu, or your Pirate cruise will end in Tortuga.

There would, of course, be a new hotel attached to this park, just like the Grand Californian was attached to DCA on its opening. I'll leave the specifics of this up in the air; it could be another Galactic Starcruiser, but it could just as easily be based on some other property.

❖❖❖

And what of the rest of the resort?

As mentioned, Downtown Disney shifts north, encroaching slightly into what's currently the backstage area of New Orleans Square, to better link up with the new position of DCA. So as not to "isolate" DCA, the third gate's entrance would be halfway along this new route.

Trams would use underground infrastructure to cross from the southeast unified parking area into the DTD/Esplanade corridor at the appropriate places for different Parks.

The Disneyland Hotel would remain, as a nod to its historical status, but against two park-adjoining hotels, it's clearly the farthest from the action after all this rearranging - hence hooking it up to the Monorail as a way to give it connectivity.

[planetbass]

toons?? Toons?????? Pls tell me about ur toons

heads up,, this boutta be long as fuck!

well,,, if you insist. first of all yes it is a kin thing and no i shan’t elaborate (unless you specifically want me to, then i shall).

so! i have 3. first up… mayhem mania!

mania is a toon that loves mischief and causing problems on purpose. just pure chaotic bastard. but they are very valid and have a big heart which they use to love their friends/found family so goddam much. until some shit happens later on, for a loooong time they don’t realize that like. they forgot an entire portion of their life. to their knowledge, they n the bros have existed for as long as they can remember. but actually ! there’s like. at Least a couple years of their life in toontown prior to that that they forgot about. basically they were pulled through a tv (by swing), dropped into toontown, and forgot their entire life prior to toonification and couldn’t properly retain memories, so they ended up forgetting a lot of their life without realizing it. whoopsie! they end up remembering, tho, after some series of events.

can’t forget the emotional angst, tho! their entire self worth relies on the approval/acceptance/love of others, so on their own they have no idea how to be happy. mania be like feels unwanted all the time! mania the funny talkative jokester not allowed to be sad so will stay in house for days when sad and mute! mania be like i will invite myself into situations and then feel bad about doing so but no it will not stop me from continuing to do that bc i have a desperate need to feel included so it is just a never ending cycle ! coinciding w some events previously mentioned, they get better tho :’)

but they love gags, tend to break the fourth wall a lot, gives everyone nicknames (ex. shortstop, buzzer, pinball, etc), and loves to be as irritating as possible. anvils are their favorite, and their trademark. arson’s also quite fun. think… spencer shay energy. 

well, that’s enough of that. now onto heartie! this one requires a lot of lore for context, so it’s gonna be long.

heartie is an artie. artie stands for uh *goes to look* “artificial replaceable toon-adjacent intelligent entity.” basically “artificial” toons that’re made for specific tasks and filler pieces (testing (possibly life threatening) gags, musical performances, janitor, selling stuff at disney kiosks, personal butler, etc) that have roles based on a poker chip in their neck! (kind of like a computer chip). they are all numbered and referred to only by “artie” or their numbers, unless given a nickname by their owner. they all have the same general appearance, but are slightly different depending on their roles and can be customized for specific look if wanted. arties are made in factories - and that’s where my heartie comes in! heartie is ARTIE#010, the Head Artie of the main artie factory. he runs the place! his nickname is originally hartie, bc h.artie (for head artie). he’s a little bigger than regular arties (who are in general quite small) bc 1. he’s Head Artie, and 2. he’s an earlier model, which are bigger in general. 

arties generally don’t have a lot of freedom. depending on who they’re ‘owned’ by, they have varying levels. heartie didn’t belong to any particular person, more that he belonged To The State. or the company itself, that is. so he had a lot of freedom - when the factory closed, he had his own house that he went home to (v unusual!). however, arties were starting to defect - as you. imagine they would eventually being what they are. this kind of Freaked Out the powerful toons, so what they did was limit them more! so arties couldn’t leave their required workspace. so heartie was stuck in the factory. eventually, when arties were still defecting en masse, they kicked heartie out. can’t trust one of ‘em to be making ‘em, can ya? since he didn’t actually do anything wrong they didn’t recycle him (which is a Whole Other Can Of Worms), but just. fired him? they didn’t really care what he did as long as he wasn’t in charge of the factory. so heartie was left without a purpose/job. eventually he became acquainted with other defected/abandoned arties and became the artie/toon repairman! and his name was changed to Heartie bc he was no longer head artie. someone also gifted him a heart patch that he put over the old company logo on his overalls. 

*exhale* OKAY. so for his ACTUAL PERSONALITY LMAO. he’s a very caring and lovely guy. he knows a lot about arties and is a great handyman! he’s friendly n charismatic but also just like A Normal Guy. he also sounds like fix it felix but with less of a southern twang. after being forcibly defected he becomes more impulsive/off the rails, but not in a bad way. just in a ‘no one can tell me what not to do anymore’ type of thing.

mkay. Finally we get to dawn. if the artie thing wasnt weird enough for ya, well, now we’re gonna talk about Gods. 

basically for some reason toontown has Gods. dawn is one of em, some sort of goddess of the sky. she has a light pink, rose-gold hair, long and wavy. she has freckles of stars across her face. and!! wings!! big white wings. i don’t have a drawing of her yet unfortunately. i tried to yesterday but was about to lose my mind bc it was hard lkdjfjd

i don’t really know yet what it was she Did (i’m thinking of like. similar to the role of Victory/Nike?) but i know for sure that she was Gay. her parter is iris, god of the rainbow. iris created the concepts for the toonbros and most of the toons i think, and also eventually gave color to toontown! 

but basically a. whole slew of things happened and dawn ended up sacrificing herself to save/heal iris, who was basically the god equivalent of bedridden and dying. another god (pinny, who took care of the garden, where each flower represented a soul in toontown and all the alternate universes), took what was Left of dawn after healing iris and put her into a flower and planted it. dawn was reincarnated as a mortal in toontown! her name is summer and i don’t remember much of what happens with her. but eventually iris found her and reminded her of everything, and iris gave up being a god to live as a mortal with summer/dawn. they get married and live out a wonderful gay life as toons.

i made that complicated as shit!!! so if u have any specific questions…………. feel free to ask jdfljdkf tho! probably send em to @mayhem-mania!! that’s m toon blog

[dixxio]

(!!WARNING: OFFENSIVE!!)

A QuackityHQ x CallMeCarson Crossover Fanfic Spectacular

(Quackity Shags CallMeCarson)

"I’m not always called Quackity, I’m not always a duck,

But whenever I see Carson, I’m always willing to fuck.”

Credits: Founders: LinedStorm2: (the one faggot who came up with this fucking idea) subscribe to pewdiepie T-GAY Shetookthekidsagain: (the other faggot who encouraged it) add me on Ig: @homosexual.volcano Writer: Ruhmeel/RuhRuh/The RUH (the dood who recorded and wrote most of it) Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/ruhruh Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/the.moist.ov... Twitter: https://twitter.com/BabyShaqAtk?lang=en Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ruh_meel/?h... Narrator/Artist: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Peachie: (the other one had a yoda impression) shetookthekidsagain Editors: dixxiokat/kat/katana/kataeris: (the shagger who fixed the other faggot’s fuckin mistakes) Shiyen: (Hit the chug jug hit the chug jug uh) Music Composer: Lucky: (the faggot who plays the xylophone in the background) (also the best fucking musician ever) Peons: Lunar: (the faggot who didnt do jack shit) Ayobi: (the faggot who killed our fuckin ears) random train: (the other faggot who didnt do shit) Sans: Sans Megalovania Undertale!!

Chapter 1 : An Unexpected Beginning

Carson’s Perspective

My name is Carson. Yeah, Call me Carson.

It was a lovely day in Afghanistan, my slaves were mining for diamonds in the concentration camp but with the luck that I was having they only found dirt blocks.

Later on I went to the rice field wondering how much rice I would be able to get with a single dirt block. I found a very nice man- errr he was actually a duck but nonetheless he promised he will get me a grain of rice, that’s more than I get in a year! The duck turned to me and asked for my name “Call me carson.” I said, my face was burning up from how shy I was getting. I don’t know why I felt embarrassed all of a sudden.

“Hey nigger! I’m Quackity!” the large duck replied.

”Quackity? That’s...an interesting name.” he didn’t say anything much to my comment instead he left to get me the grain of rice he talked about. Quackity came back with two grains of rice and placed them in the palm of my hand. Our hands brushed against each other, I stood there dumbfounded not sure what to do. When I finally snapped out of it he was gone already

I got home and started playing farmville on twitch, when something caught my eye in chat, a twitch link with the name of the man I met earlier that day, “The duck?”, I wondered.

In this game, I finally met “Quacking” or whatever his name was. I went up to him, but he ignored me. Probably because of all the people that surrounded him during the raid. I just heard chants repeating: “Quack my zacc and bring free trials back” and “Minecraft rules and furries deserve to be gassed”. I gave in and chanted as well. When he ended the raid, I dm’d him on twitter saying that it was fun raiding the servers in Toontown.

Shockingly, he responded! He said, “Oh yeah no problem homie! It was REALLY FUN! Especially with you there!”

“W-what? N-n-n-nani?” I stammered. “Y-you noticed me in the raid?”

“Yeah! You were crazy out there! Getting all wild and shit!”

I blushed furiously, I didn’t even think he would notice me out of all those people!

“W-wow…. Thanks….”

“No problem homie! Hey, I think you’d like to meet my friends, one of them is in the house, and one’s a wild spartan! And anoth-”

“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!” I exclaimed, “Don’t worry, I’ll meet them with you buddy.”

“Woah slow down there, I ain’t your buddy yet. What do I look like a faggot?” said the gay homophobe duck.

“I-I’m sorry. Gomenasai~” I muttered softly.

“Ah don’t worry about it, don’t be such a puss next time.”

“Of course sir.”

He then left me on read.

I sighed dreamily and thought to myself, “Wow, he’s such a nice guy.’

End of Chapter 1: An Unexpected Beginning

Chapter 2: Call Me Quackity

Quackity's Perspective

When I got home to my pond that day, I felt, rather strange.

I just met this guy who seemed like a fan of mine, but it felt just more than that.

It felt like, I was supposed to meet him somewhere in my life.

Anyways, I kept thinking about him the whole day

When eating THE bread, terrorizing the neighbors, gassing the jews, and even doing the dishes!

I tried so hard going to sleep, but I just kept tossing and turning.

This guy, who wanted to be called Carson, he felt…

Special…

In an autistic way.

It made me feel strange as well.

There was this tension going on between my legs, that I couldn't resist. This sensation, I've never felt it before, it's as if I enjoyed his company. It's making me blush in my sleep, but I feel as if I got something inside that I have to release…

I have to release this anger somehow, yamate quackity, yamate I imagined.

I woke up in the middle of the night, having dreams about that Carson guy. “This is so sad, Alexa play despacito.”

I knew I needed help, so I called a hotline that helps with personal issues.

It’s more of a free counselor if you think about it through the phone.

I called the number, waiting for an answer.

“Hello you have reached Aihate Gaze tech support how may i help you?” says the Gaze Man.

“Hi! I have this problem regarding this guy that I met from a raid I did, not too long ago.” I said.

“Is that guy a machine sir?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t get to know him that well but he did have the spicy memes.” I responded.

“Well, I would say that you would have to check his ZIP drive, it holds all the secret information there.”

I was confused.

“Wait, what?” I said, confused.

“Yeah. All you gotta do is that you gotta hack into his windows XP computer and look for the files inside the computer by inserting the ‘USB into the tight port’.” he said.

“ALL I HAVE IS A WINDOWS 98!” shouted Quackity, while doing the floss in frustration.

“Well I believe you could find it’s USB port in the rear.” he said.

Rear? I don’t know what he means by rear, but all I know is that we have a rear in ou- oh…

I guess that means we have to stick the USB inside the ‘rear’...

“Thank you for your help, Mr. Gaze.”

“No problem, but you have to leave your credit card number with the numbers in the back alongside the Clash of Clans account name and password for free coins!! Thanos has returned and he needs it to destroy Fortn-”

I hung up before he could say anything else, and I grabbed the nearest USB I had. I knew what I had to do next.

I stuck it into my rear, just as the Gaze man requested.

“yAhOoOoOoOoO~!” I moaned loudly.

I realized I just stuck this USB drive with all my family photos and burger king foot lettuce pictures up my booty hole.

I didn’t care however, all that was on my mind was HIM.

Carson... oh Carson.

“Call me Carson~,” I imagined him saying.

“No Carson, Call me QUACKTITY.” I responded.

I pushed the USB drive further into the bunghole, until it disappeared into the void.

I’ve done it.

My family photos, my burger king foot lettuce pics, my minecraft skins, all of them, are now inside me.

All for this one guy.

I felt it in my stomach, and shockingly enough, I could see it through the bump shaped like a USB shown on my skin.

I touched it, it hurted, but I grabbed it even tighter, and moved it even higher into my stomach!

“Carson, CARSON, CAAAAAAAAAAARSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!! ORE WA OCHINCHIN GA DAISUKI NANDAYO~~!!!!!!”

I moved it up towards my hard nips, then upward to my chest, then my throat, then finally, through the mouth.

I regurgitated the USB that I stuck through my asshole.

That brown, smelly, shit-covered, saliva covered, stomach acid covered USB drive.

All for that one guy I met at a raid.

Thank you Mr. Gaze…

Thank you...

End Of Chapter 2: Call Me Quackity

[bepoets]

Top 5 ANYTHING WDW. Feel free to do multiple lists!

THIS IS SO VAGUE I LOVE IT!!! So I did four really obscure things for my separate lists because why list my favorite rides when I could list my favorite ride PRE-SHOWS. Enjoy my nonsense rambling!!-Extinct Attractions/Things (keep in mind I LOVE progress and change, and most of these I’m cool with being gone, but I miss them on occasion) 1. River Country: I am forever crushed I never got to visit the first ever water park, don’t let anyone say otherwise river country was FIRST. It’s such a mess and I love watching old videos of it and it’s unsafe waterslides and disgusting water. And since it’s getting demolished soon...may it Rest In Peace. 2. Osborne Lights: No other Christmas show or light show will EVER top the Osborne Family Spectacle of Dancing Lights. The one thing I’ll never stop grieving over and really just can’t forgive Disney for taking it away from me!! It was the epitome of Christmas magic for me and I miss it every day of my life. 3. Wonders of Life Pavilion: another thing I never got to visit but love with my whole heart like River Country. I always thought Body Wars seemed like the coolest concept to me! And I love going in the building now, when it’s someone’s used for festival headquarters and admiring how outdated it is I just!!! Love old things so much!!! 4. Toontown Fair: Toontown being replaced with Storybook Circus was FINE until I realized that Toontown was the only reason Tomorrowland and fantasyland blended just a tiny bit in their transition. (Tomorrowland speedway drove by Pete’s Garage.) So I’m just a tiny bit bitter, also I miss Mickey and Minnie’s house because I’m a sucker for oversized childish things. 5. Frozen Summer Fun: oh my god I miss Frozen Summer Fun SO MUCH. Bring. It. Back. I know there’s only 1 frozen thing in DHS but I don’t CARE I want my frozen parade with skiers and flag twirlers and THE FIREWORKS!!!!! THE ICE SKATING RINK!!!!! My heart beats for Frozen Summer Fun I miss it everyday. 1Hotel Lobby Smells (I don’t trust a person who says the Main Street Confectionary is their favorite smell because there are like A MILLION AWESOME LOBBY SMELLS RHAT ARE SO MUCH BETTER!!!)1. Contemporary: the main hotel, not Bay Lake at Contemporary. And the actual lobby not the main floor where the monorail stops. It is my very favorite smell on Disney property I don’t think anything can top it ever! 2. Polynesian: I have taken the monorail to Polynesian just to sit in the lobby and take in the lobby smell, I know that’s bizarre but I don’t care I love it so much. 3. Grand Floridian: something about the magic kingdom monorail loop hotels just have the best lobby smells I can’t explain it but I love it. 4. Beach Club/Yacht Club: the only time when two hotels that are TECHNICALLY separate have the exact same lobby smell and it’s beautiful. 5. Wilderness Lodge: I couldn’t decide between Port Orleans Riverside or Wilderness Lodge But at the end of the day I think I just prefer the overall atmosphere in Wilderness Lodge which adds to me preferring that lobby smell!! -Ride Pre-Shows (I actually have an entire plan to dress my entire family up as characters from Disney Ride Pre-Show Videos. It is a work in progress but we are getting there.) 1. DINOSAUR: Disney, or any theme park for that matter, will be able to top Dr. Seeker and Dr. Marsh. I can recite. At entire pre-show video in full and it’s on my mind at least once everyday. I only say “continue” in the same voice as Dr. Marsh and I frequently say “we were just talking about seatbelts, plug them in, use them.” It is legendary. 2. Soarin: “And even these little beauties....nice work pal” some of the most iconic lines spoken at Disney World ever. I feel so blissfully happy every time I watch this pre-show. 3. Rockin’ Rollercoaster: MAKE IT A SUPER STRETCH!!!!!!!!!! This one is ESPECIALLY fun when the CM’s in the room add to it by talking in the show to make it seem like dialogue!!! I had one CM say “what about some backstage passes?” And then That makes it seem like Steven Tyler responded with “wait a minute!!! I love that idea!!! How about some backstage passes!” Which just made it so clever and I love that!!! 4. Test Track Old Pre-Show: This closed April 2012 and it’s the thing I miss most about the old test track. Bill McKim! The hesitation when they push test number 7!!! The dance one of the actors does when she sits down and buckles her seat belt!!!!5. Flight Of Passage: I get extreme second hand embarrassment when watching this pre-show because the dude just says “uh” and “um” so much!!!! I totally get the goal to make him seem less scripted but it did the opposite and it is uncomfortable. But I do love the fact that the pre-show is different depending on the time, if they need you to wait a little longer they add in extra scenes and such, which is SO CLEVER. -Sidewalk Details (THE BEST PART OF THE DISNEY PARKS!!!!)1. Pandora in Animal Kingdom: THE FLOOR GLOWS!!!! IT GLOWS!!!!!!! it is pure magic 2. Asia in Animal Kingdom: the best combination of plants, animals, humans, transportation AND yeti’s for mythical creatures. I’ve talked a lot about DAK sidewalks so I will spare y’all my speech on the beauty of Animal Kingdom Sidewaks3. Toy Story Land: The giant footprints from Andy is AMAZING particularly because it’s shallow enough to not be as much of a bother for strollers/wheelchairs/ECV’s 4. Sunset BLVD in Hollywood Studios: this is, for the most part, just a normal street with sidewalks for pavement. But the addition of the trolley tracks closer to Tower of Terror are my FAVORITE part. Those tracks are the last bits of the semi-planned Roger Rabbit themed area!!! 5. Adventureland near Aladdin’s Magic Carpets: Any place where I can hunt for gems buried in the pavement is a good place.

[khdiscussions]

Kingdom Hearts Attraction

So uh, for those of you not up to date: This was said as a mention about the idea of Square and Disney collaborating for this and if it gets off the ground it will be huge. Right now, it’s nothing more than a pipe dream, but I’d like to address this anyways since I come with a very unique perception in that not only do I live near the Disney parks, but the parks might be the only thing I’m more obsessed with than Kingdom Hearts.

(Going under a read more because when I talk about parks I get rambly.)

So first off, if this becomes a thing, which it still needs to be discussed with a bunch of people first, it will very likely start off in one of two parks. The more likely Tokyo Disneyland or the Walt Disney World Resort. Tokyo Disneyland is likely due to...well...Japan. Japanese video game company, I shouldn’t have to spell it out for you. Disney World, however, has already had a history with the parks as early as 2004 when costumes of Sora, Donald, and Goofy were actually able to have meet and greets due to Mickey’s Not So Scary, as well as a couple other tiny easter eggs. Furthermore Walt Disney World is still the number one tourist destination in the world, so really there’s a 50% chance of anything new starting there between the four parks. Admittedly Disneyland is possible due to the Dandelion meet up taking place in Anaheim, but like with Disneyland Paris being the park Nomura visited for inspiration on attraction flow, it doesn’t feel like enough to lock in that park for a likely location.

So limiting ourselves down to Tokyo Disneyland Resort and Walt Disney World Resort, there’s really only six parks it can go in. So let’s break it down:

Animal Kingdom: If Disney still has a shred of self respect for themselves and their theming, they won’t do this. This might be the combination that could have KH make me cancel my Disney park pass and that’s all I feel should be said on the subject.

Tokyo DisneySEA: I would normally consider this likely, however, Disney has just announced a huge expansion opening in 2022. With this in mind, it’d be bad business practice to announce the KH anything here next year (since if I were them I’d announce summer 2019 so long as it ends up being worked out) since that’d be opening around the same time and be horribly overshadowed. It’d be like if they decided to open a KH ride in MGM in 2019 when Star Wars land opens. It just isn’t going to happen.

Tokyo Disneyland/Magic Kingdom: Admittedly, I don’t know a lot about the Disneyland clone over in Tokyo, but what I do know is that it shares similarities with the park we have here (down to both parks having Cinderella Castle), as such I feel confident in lumping it in with Magic Kingdom. If they were to build the ride here, it would fit in best with Fantasyland theming, which touches on the various Disney movies and high fantasy elements, it’d work pretty well. On the flip side, a Gummi Ship based attraction could fit in well in Tomorrowland, and exclusively in Tokyo Disneyland there’s also Toontown, which might work decently. So long as they stay out of the Adventureland and Frontierland skinned areas (and even then if done properly Adventureland could be justified), it would work. (This applies to any of the Disneyland clones, do Anaheim and Paris apply here too.)

Hollywood Studios: I mean it’s unlikely because it goes against theming but also at the exact same time this park is identity-less and bad anyways so I wouldn’t even be mad if they did destroy theming here for it. I’d just be excited to have a reason to care about the park. I don’t even care about the principle I just really hate this park.

Epcot: This is the most likely location for a Kingdom Hearts themed attraction at the Walt Disney World resort, if not period. Not only is the park due for major refurbishments soon (Guardians and Ratatouille being the start of that) but the park also has two locations it could work. Future World, using the same excuses as Guardians and making a Gummi Ship explorations attractions, something in Innoventions perhaps, putting the empty space to good use, or in the Japan Pavilion as an attraction. Personally I’m not the biggest fan of this idea since I don’t really care for the direction Epcot seems to be going in and I’m very protective of the park, but I can accept it.

Disney Springs and the like: Unlikely as all get out but for once I’m literally going to let my bias come into play and concept: Cancel the stupid NBA experience and make Disney Quest 2.0 with a heavy focus on Disney’s video game related properties such as Wreck it Ralph, Disney Infinity, Epic Mickey, and Kingdom Hearts. It’d be so much better of an idea and can you tell I’m still salty about Disney Quest being torn down?

Anyways, basically it’s going to be in one of the main parks (Disneyland/Magic Kingdom/Disneyland Paris/Tokyo Disneyland) or it will be in Epcot due to openings, announcements, and theming.

So that being said, what can we expect from this? In truth um...not as much as you’re thinking.

As much as I’d love to go blasting the drums and screaming for a whole Kingdom Hearts theme area, not a lot of things get the same treatment that Star Wars and Pandora got. And trust me, considering my opinions on those franchises I would much rather KH get that attention. If I’m honest, I hesitate to even propose the idea that Kingdom Hearts should get a ride.

Looking at the ride types, the only attraction the ride could feasibly get would be a coaster, a dark ride, or a screen ride. A dark ride is immediately out of the question imho due to the story of KH being impossible to do anything with in that format. A screen ride, while doable, is a gamble since they can run the gambit of really good (Star Tours and Flight of Passage) or really bad (Jimmy Fallon at Universal Studios is the worst ride I have ever been on) and runs the risk of being underwhelming, since it could be simply a sit down show. Which would then bring the problem of these rides are meant to be enjoyable for non fans too, or else it would be shut down. A coaster would be the easiest to implement and most likely to succeed since nobody has to know the theme to enjoy a good coaster, so I could see them doing that, but coasters require a decently large amount of space to build, especially when compared to a screen ride, which creates its own problems.

So what do I think KH will likely see? Well for one: Merchandise. Even if they don’t make a cooperative effort into a ride or attraction, KH might still have a presence in the gift shops like Magic Kingdom’s Emporium as time goes on, or even simply a new pin available at Pintraders. The game is huge and people care. So some merchandise coming from Disney milking the cash cow is inevitable. You might also see some small shout outs such as changing a store name or a restaurant name to feature Sora and co. Hell maybe even a new one will be built as part of promotion. Or we’ll get new costumes for Sora this time around.

However, I think what will most likely be seen is a new game sort of thing. Similar to how Magic Kingdom has Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom and Epcot had the Kim Possible and, later, the Phineas and Ferb missions, an interactive game could be an easy fit for the series. Similar to how Sorcerer’s of the Magic Kingdom allows players to fight eight iconic Disney villains, a game like this could easily have players aid Sora, Donald, and Goofy as they take on Heartless and iconic Disney villains around the parks. It doesn’t require extensive knowledge of the series and a final showdown with Xehanort or even an entirely original villain or Maleficent herself could make for a fun way to kill the day. It’d keep in the spirit of KH and not distance it too far from Disney properties. It could also end up similar to VOID, the new Star Wars laser tag experience at Disney Springs, and focus in on the Keyblade War instead and have vr whacking people with stuff. Is it what I want...well no. I’d actually really like a VR coaster for this, but I think it’s a safe bet and gives them the ability to update either Sorcerers of the Magic Kingdom or the Phineas and Ferb world showcase adventure, both of which haven’t had changes in a very long time. It also puts KH in a position where if the attraction doesn’t do well it doesn’t feel like a huge waste of investment and allows Square and Disney both to test the waters to open up the gates to a more grand Kingdom Hearts attraction.

Anyways, that’s my two cents. Really I’ll be happy with any representation at the parks since for years all we’ve had is a Sora shirt, sweatshirt, three Disney pins, and a hidden poster at Epcot, but who knows, maybe we could see something a little bit more at long last along the horizon.