#n no energy to Do Anything About It!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cutearose · 2 years

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#i am touchstarved and extremely brainfoggy and very overwhelmed and life is hard rn!!!!!!#i need someone to come hug me for a few hours and help me write some emails and like. sort out my life #mostly the hug. i need extended physical contact. and the worst part about getting older is knowing my friends dont necessarily have time #im so proud of my friends with their jobs and houses and partners and stuff. but i miss spending a solid 24 hours w someone yknow?#anyway. i feel untethered rn. life has been overwhelming n i have nothing to ground me!!#n no energy to Do Anything About It!!!#living alone as a disabled anxious extrovert with mostly introverted or touch averse friends who are mostly far away is hard #anyway. thanks for reading my ramble. i miss posting actual thoughts here #today was a bad hard day but. will try again tomorrow. and i managed a few hours of crochet so thats something #gonna go try to sleep now.#post

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inkly-heart · 27 days

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please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤

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#🌱Thank you<33🌱#I guess my latest vent art post made some of you guys worried. I'm sorry ;;n;; )#but I'm alright. well.. kind of? Like I haven't done anything to myself kind of alright?#maybe I should explain bit about my situation but at the same time I don't feel comfortable to open up too much #but simply said it's about doing art as a job and mental health #Things haven't been going well but I am getting help for my mental health #This is all what I will say for now about my situation #I apologize again that I made you guys worried #but I do warn that I might post more vent art if I get enough energy to draw #this is just one way how I deal with my emotions #but if you don't like vent art I suggest to block the words vent and vent art #I remember tumblr has this option somewhere??#and uhh.. I don't really know how to end this post but thank you everyone who has been sending support<33 #I might not know how to reply to them but I have read them all and I'm very thankful for all the support what you guys have given me🌱#Thank you🌱#ask #anon #me talking

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theywontletmebeprincipal · 6 months

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yeah ok fuck it, if you know what post this is about you know what post this is about. I think doxxing senators is a very good and useful tactic but you should never ever never show pictures of their very young children n imply that firebombing them to death for the random circumstance of their birth would be a good thing. what is fucking wrong with you

#civil disk horse #the whole post has ‘this pales in comparison to my strategy. firebombing a walmart <- doesn’t firebomb a walmart’ energy anyway #so I highly doubt anything will happen #n honestly I don’t even think it’s bad necessarily to discuss assassinating *politicians*#a lot of them do in fact deserve it #but how fucking evil do you have to be that the strategy you fantasize about is? killing their school aged kids to torture them?#what. is WRONG with you.

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cupuasu · 5 months

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idk man i dont feel the need to always message my friends and always go out with friends like if it happens it happens i like the spontaneity of it all. i don't think i'm a bad friend for not being up someone's ass all the time. i can spend months not talking to someone but if i see them on the street i'll go up to hug and talk to them bc for me it's never that deep to spend a long period not contacting someone. plus now all friends i made irl are at completely different point in their lives and i'm still at the same place i was in like 2019 so i do feel like i'm not "supposed" to be bothering them (wrong of me to assume im bothering i know but all i do is wait for most of them to do the first move). and nowadays all everyone posts about is you're not a real friend if you dont answer my msgs 1 second later you're not a real friend if you don't go to parties 8 days a week with someone you met in the public bathroom a thousand years ago you're not a real friend if you don't go to therapy and stop bothering your friends about your illness like omg. i'll talk to people i like i'll hang out whenever it works and i'll message you back and i won't mention my depression and i'll act normal in public but i honestly can't wait to go back home and be alone. i love you so much and me not talking to you doesn't mean i like you less or that i don't want to be your friend it just means i want some time out to be on my own lol

#like im quiet with ppl i dont know but i used to talk about anything with my friends irl and now i cant bc #apparently all of them hate people who share their thoughts too much and like ok i can be quiet with you too i dont mind spending time in #silence i actually like that better.#n now theres this 'get away from ppl who are too negative or too oversharing or too trauma dumpy or too weird bc their bad energy is pushing #you back' thing like.....???????????????????????#sure im defensive bc i Am that guy but i understand that can be annoying #however its just crazy that like for me at least being around my friends feels like im performing the same way it feels when im with a #stranger #bc they just want to surround themselves with this idea that Everything has to be perfect all the time and you cant feel anything #or you'll ruin the vibe #like HELPPPPPPPPPPP. fellow depressed oomf-chan let's do euthanausia together #its not like i want to be depressed all the time its i cant help it being that way and i will try my best to not ruin my friend's day ofc #& also i would never not hang out with my friends that are going thru a bad time bc of 'bad vibes' or 'bc i dnt need that in my life rn'#222

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 1 year

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i want to compile a list of horror media that people need to watch before they call genloss groundbreaking incredible material. like yall are soooo so deeply entrenched in copium toting this thing around like its the best piece of horror media in the world when like. theres no horror. there has literally been no horror. how are we watching the same thing. go watch gemini home entertainment or marble hornets or daisy brown or unedited footage of a bear or this house has people in it and then come back to me. dont fucking talk to me until youve consumed some horror media thats actually good first!!!!!!!!

#sorry i KNOW i said i wouldnt genloss post too much but it just makes me so fucking angry #as a very very very long term horror enthusiast and aspiring horror creator #i feel fucking insulted every time i see genloss being listed as something incredible . when.#theres no horror or comedy in your horror comedy that was originally advertised for two goddamn years as an arg n then analog horror and th #like. pick a theme. give me literally anything. its so bad. im so angry. and i DONT get angry at media.#i actively try not to grt angry at media and legitimately havent since veryyyy early middle school.#so the fsct that this thing is making me so mad is a huge deal.#anyone who has known me for any number of years knows like. i dont get mad about shit!!!#especiallt shit that doesnt rlly matter like fictional media!!! i dont like to expend the energy on that!!!#so when i say genloss makes me so angry to the point where i was literally #sweaty and out of breath after aster and i got off the phone talking abt it the other day #i need you to understand i am not a hater #like #ughgrrghrggghghh #go fucking watch saw (2004) youll have a much better time than watching whatever bs this is #ranboo makes this big long post about how his project is better than aevery other horror short film #and doesnt deserve to be put on a shelf with the rest of them as if theyre beneath his genius vision #and then gives us this cheap heartless garbage that isnt even unique in its badness.#hes just using ideas from other things but doing it worse!!!!!! theres nothing new!!! theres nothing unique!!!#two years of promotional content and like 5 hours of livestreams and they have not given me a single #character or story beat that is interesting enouhj to care about. you cant have horror without first #giving your audience something to care about and then snatching that thing away from them. urhhggghghghgh #reaction time #genloss neg #genloss crit #sorry. im trying to keep the hater posting to a minimum but im so. exhausted

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warm-mangoes-with-chai · 4 months

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Maybe I need to calm down bc why did I see a post comparing wangxian to joongdok but because 'wwx & kdj are both dumbasses but lwj & yjh fell in love anyways' and I just felt so irritated that some fans still ignore wwx's academic and emotional intelligence, don't even get me started on kdj-

#i know i should be past this like i just need to mind my own business #and i know it's because i foolishly had a cup of coffee a few hours ago #such means i couldn't focus enough to do my homework so I've just been cleaning things here n there to burn off the energy #but now that I'm sitting in the orv tag. i do wonder.#how do u read such a transformational work and come out of it like. how do i make surface level connections to the other popular yaoi i kno #it's giving mdzs donghua only like please.#what am i even ranting about. god i should sleep #wait i kinda don't wanna tag this with anything bc i feel like it'll make me mad again 😭

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im2tired4usernames · 18 days

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Ugh I was excited for today until I found out I'd have to spend it with people that actively make me hate being alive hate the future and drain me off all energy physically mentally spiritually like a vampire I can't stand to be around her she is the definition of stupidity and even then that's generous as fuck this bitch has filled her brain with so much garbage I watch her brain cells die at alarming rates every single time she uses her vocal cords her giggles make me want to jam a sewing needle into my ear repeatedly so I can never have to hear it again its a friendly reminder that my parents decisions this time my dad's constantly makes me want to die

#i cant even shes just so dangerously stupid #she thinks energy drinks with natural caffeine are safe to give people who have been told by doctor doing take caffeine with thia meds #ahe thinks of a child is CHOCKING to lie them face down n rub their back #she has the evangelical woman voice worse then women I've met n that cult ahe giggles constantly and behaves like the stereotype lil german #boy just got a lollipop over.... everyone and everything whe acts likw an 11 year old I just got the first boyfriend and all they could talk #is how perfect their boyfriend is and they're so pretty good for that I pulled a boyfriend is and it's like a God thing that they met how #SOOOOOOOOOO in love while constantly nonstop touching ahe has to be touching him her hand on his thigh her atm linked with his her heaf on #his chest she has to be in her lap they make out all over the place IT'S DISGUSTING AND EMBARRASSING STOP SWAPPING SPIT #she started a i. hwr words 'love diary of their love journey' they hadn't been dateing 2 months her kids are spoiled fake Instagram bitches #with such shitty views on politics SHE'S A TRUMP FAN GIRL SHENLOVES TRUMP MY DAD BROUGHT IN A TRUMPIE #there's so much i cant even say because even admitting it on tumblr is too embarrassing i wanted.to.likw her i liked her the first day but #THE MORE I GET TO KNOW GET THE MORE N MORE N MISS RED FKAGS #she threw away all my siblings clothes school books toys uniforms for sports their in toys i bought them that week make up jewelry #in the disguise of helping clean house #while i was at the hospital the kids call me in tears i call her beg her to wait and nope.ahe didn't i found the bags by the curb i brought #my dad sided with hwr because 'she didn't mean any harm she didn't know sje was throwing them away'#my mom hasn't bsen dead a year he started dating right after ahe died #hes talking about marrying this woman this woman who has never had an honest educated thought once in her life #WHO ASLO SPEMDA MONEY LIKE A DRUNKEN SAILOR AHE CAME FROM A WITCH FAMILY HER LAST TWO HUSBANDA WERE TOUCH SHE HAS NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE COMMON #SHE SPENDS LIKE SHE STILL HAS MONEY WHEN SHE DOSE NOT AND IT'S LIKE YOU DID NOT JUST SPEND OVER 180 DOLLARS N PASTRIES GOD #SHES SO FUCKIN STUPID AND EVERY HOLIDAY SINCE MY MOM DIED WVERY FAMILY GWT TOGETHER BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK OR.DO ANYTHING WITH MOM'S SIDE #OF THE FAMILY ANYMORE SHE'S THERE EVERY WINGLE MOTHER FUCKIN WEEKEND SHES HERE I'M EXHAUSTED SHES PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY DRAINING TO BE ARO #OUND SHES LIKE IF SOMEONE TOOK A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON A DIET OF JUST FUCKIN COCAINE LITTLE GERMAN BOY WITH LOLLY AND CRUELLA DEVILLE AND FUSE #THEN TOOK A STRAW AND DRANK ALL THE SMARTS OUT OF THAT BEING #UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH MY DADS GOIN TO NARRY RHIA BITCH SHES GOIN TO TRY TO BE A MOTHER TO ME AND MY SIBLINGS AND THEY'RE GOIN TO #be so fucked up because her kids are not ok SHE FUCKED THEM OVER BAD SHE HAS FOUR KIDS ALL ADULTS THEY'RE JUST WOW #I HATE MY LIFE I HATE WHAY FUTURE MY FAMILY IS GOIN TO BE THE GOOD THINGS IS I WON'T HAVE TO STAY I CAN GO N MAKE A NEW ONE WITH MY WIFE #FOR ME BUT MY SIBLINGS ARE FUCKED AND ANYTIME I WANT TO VISIT MY FAMILY YANDERE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BITCH WILL BE THERE WORMING HWR WAY IN #SHES CONSTANTLY CALLING N TEXTING MY DAD NONSTOP OF SHE'S NOT NEXT TO HIM AND IF HE CAN'T RESPOND INSTANT SHE FREAKS OUT N BUGS ME

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no1ryomafan · 1 month

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I say I was gonna use tumblr more then went MIA for a few days-albeit I’ve also been less active on my twit lol-so time for an oddly specific meg ramble once more!

So recently I’ve been playing Persona 3-not the remake, would love too but 70 is too much even if on game pass I can get it cheaper, I just hardly use my xbox even if I should more so I forgot that’s a option💀 so I settle with portable on switch-and it’s a game I knew for a long time I was gonna eventually play. I really like it! However I’m oddly *not* deeply hyperfixating on persona as a whole despite the fact I’ve spent the last two days playing the game hours on end. It’s like I will probably play the others but it’s not a strong desire and I can’t pinpoint why exactly.

I’ve always had such a weird inverse to popular things I’m into, where I’ll mention them once off handily but never in full even if I really like it which also in turn causes me not to hyperfixate on them a lot. I know with autism you can have causal interests but I know people who frequently swap interests, and while I’m more of a case of “getter is most of my fucking brain but I’ll have a second interest that I’ll swap out” I find it odd how it works for me. I can’t tell if it’s just because it’s not clicking fully since I’m not a rpg person really and I did get burnt out-but I also MARATHONED the game so it’s kinda my fault-so I don’t feel inclined to immediately go to persona 4 after this or something or if it’s really because my brain fixates on way more niche things.

Like brain sees popular thing and finds it good? Normal response. Brain sees EXTREMELY niche thing? Hyperfixating IMMEDIATELY.

#meg text #persona 3 #autism ramblings #its like there’s so much about p3 I could say but in a normal way and I’m going to a con soon so I’ll def get p3 stuff #especially knowing they are having persona events n all #but despite the fact me rotating stuff about it it doesn’t pop out at me #I could absolutely discuss the characters or plot or even gameplay but I’d do it in a normal fashion #but my other interests I’d be like YIPPPPIE #I know it’s not a bad thing but I feel a little weird when I’m not overly passionate about anything I consider good #but I guess the difference between popular and niche things is there’s more passionate people for the former #so all my energy goes into getting excited about a series people never heard of and is irrelevant #I’m funny like that

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slippery-minghus · 2 months

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hmm. had an actual conversation with nightmare coworker today that seemed mutually productive. she apologized for saying some bullshit that hurt my feelings and i clarified that my intentions are to help not to undermine her, and we both agreed that there's no competition against each other and that it's the lack of growth in our role that's the problem. it was...productive.

and further cementing for me that it is time to begin making my Exit. i will be sending out my resume to a few places this weekend.

i'm still processing the conversation, and am struggling to place myself in where i am responsible to better my behavior. because i genuinely don't want to be an ass, even though i really don't like this lady and will jump for joy the day i never have to see her again. she stated that she knows my intentions aren't to hurt her, and that she thinks i'm very kind. i apologized for if my behavior came off as undermining her, and said that my intentions are only to better my own growth—and that i know she's trying to succeed too. i validated her feelings, and complemented the effort she is putting in.

where i'm struggling with is: am i in the wrong/causing harm and needing to change if the issue is that her feelings are incongruent with what she knows of my intentions? her feelings are her responsibility (WOW i almost typed "her feelings are my responsibility". i feel like that's a freudian slip) and she states that she knows i don't mean to hurt her. i'm going to try to be more clear in wording my intentions with her (she feels like me trying to take work off her plate is to undermine her. when really, i'm caught up and see her getting overwhelmed, and i want to help and also have something to do since i'm bored).

but i'm really struggling to look at my role in this and pass judgement on myself. i can and want to do better, and i don't think i did anything wrong, but i'm always so hesitant to say it's not my fault or i didn't do something bad. like i can't trust my judgement on that. my intentions were good, her bad feelings are ones caused by her insecurities, which she more or less has expressed to be aware that they are not true—the hurtful thing she said to me, she acknowledged was said out of hurt and not what she actually thinks. so, is it fair to say i'm not the bad guy? i'm not in the wrong? i know good intentions that still result in harm don't absolve anyone, but when the things that are clashing are insufficient communication and reactive insecurities... i'm not a monster, am i?

#well. i AM probably a monster for how much i dislike this lady #but i don't ACT on it #and i genuinely couldn't care less about her. i participate in decent human pleasantries because i am a decent human.#and at work we're stuck together #the thing that's irked me so much about this conversation is just.. her self centeredness #that she thinks everyone is out to get her. to undermine her. whatever.#bitch nobody cares about you enough one way or the other to put in that kind of effort. i sure don't #i empathize but i do not sympathize. to feel that pit that makes you feel like the worst kind of center of attention #i get it. but genuinely you are not the main character and no one is going to spend their limited time and energy to slowly attack you #you are not the cat with all the knives pointed at it #it's a terrible feeling to feel like you are! but when it influences your behavior to the point that you are making snide comments #to people who have no option not to interact with you then uh. then you're in the wrong buddy #and the people around you (who cannot easily leave! bc work!) should not have to bend over backwards to assure you #that they're not pointing knives at you. to protect themselves from your feelings making you say mean shit #like yes. i can be more clear with my intentions. i'm generally not the greatest at that. but my baseline that i want to #modify my behavior from is NOT one that a regular well adjusted person would take as anything but kind #and if a regular well adjusted person got a little offput by me volunteering to take work off their hands we would've had a very chill #3 sentence conversation about it MONTHS AGO.#i understand and respect (even if i find it annoying and overbearing) the need for me to announce my intentions like im working in a kitchen #and saying 'hot water' or 'knife' as i move around other people but we shouldn't have reached this conclusion this way #and frankly who's to fucking say me being more clear with my intentions will only feed the flames of her thinking i'm out to get her!#'i caught up on my stuff and your plate looks full. i'm bored. anything i can do to help?' could be a pointed knife for all i know!!#and if it is- and my actions still hurt her in that scenario- am i still responsible for the hurt caused??#like WHERE DOES IT FUCKING E N D ?#personal #*exhales* okay i feel better now #i just hate talking about my interactions with her bc i just want NOTHING to do with it. i want her out of my head!!#but until i process it i can't let go #and i'm still going to have to go over all of this with my shrink tomorrow #it just makes me mad how much of my time this bitch takes up. i'm not getting paid to think about work right now!!!!

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hatedmaggot · 4 months

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theres like no sympathy for people that just cant be nice

#im TIRED i dont have the energy left to be polite and sweet to everyone i interact with anymore #I KNOW its annoying and tiring but how do you think i fucking feel living n thinking like this #ive got nothing nice to say about anything anymore unless im drunk and delirious #'youre so negative' 'youre getting annoying' yesss keep telling me how horrible i am its making me want to be so kind and cute 2 you

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arcadequeerz · 4 months

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#Cade.vnt #I complain a lot about shit on here so im sorry but haha things fucking suck n i hate everything.#i wanna curl into a ball and just rot here.#evrrything costs so much money i cant do anything. getting shut off notices for everything.#being alive is so fucking expensive and i am so damn tired of trying anymore.#im just exhausted. im tired. everything keeps gettibg worse. i wanna sleeop #i cant even get myself into therapy or get myself to a fucking doctor.#i have no energy for anything anymore.#i wish things could just be ok for a little while n things could be easier.#why is living so expensive

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ezraphobicsoup · 5 months

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my brain is so exploding i don’t know anything i drew a picture i. b hmm bhhhbvhjhbvbvbbbbbb my brother did me biology revision and i’m now like aeerrreseessdddssddd yknow

#you can ignore this epic post i’m just saying words #i drew a picture i think i already said ghag it’s my face it doesn’t really look like me #uh there’s someghinv else i dunno what #man i do not want to go to sleep yet but i won’t get anything done like this will i #ezra’s real life rambles #silly hours posting #<- it’s not even silly hours i’m just dying of plague + 5 hours 20 minutes sleep + kinda busy day #i was thinking earlier right i think i had a dream where i was talking to pictures or something right cause like #i was saying something about not liking chocolate n jam together and then it’s a picture of this one dessert thing i had on holiday which #was chocolage and jam and i felt really guilty and i was thinking about that #and ie as thinking about something else as well but i forgot it now #4 days is not enough days i don’t like that i’m afraid (exams)#yeah sorry this post sucks but now it feels like if i don’t post it i’m like hiding something or lying ??? which isn’t how it work??? but i #don’t have the energy to argue right now so i’ll just go with it and apologise. i’m sorry #scorpions and crabs and they have spoons that’s quite funny it’s not i find it funny i smile

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monster-noises · 9 months

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Auguh not to get too Hopless Shell of a Man on you but i'm trying to find a daydream to get lost in to lull myself to sleep but i'm finding I can't.

Cause the kind of daydream that puts me to sleep have always been more aspirational, if grandiose and slightly unrealistic, explorations of like.. what my dream house would look like, hanging my art up in a new-bigger better- apartment, what my table would look like at a con, or my work in a small gallery or art show..

but it's at the point where i can't suspend my disbelief enough anymore to indulge in the Premise of most of these things because Every Ounce of possibility has been squeezed out of these things.

And maybe i'm just really too depressed and there's something i'm not seeing but god it's Really Fucking Bad Out here if My can-imagine-anything-like-it-could-happen-tomorrow-regardless-of-probability Ass can't even daydream myself to sleep because it's... Just not realistic!!!! Like i know we already know that but damn!!!! My mental health is in shambles and almost all of the causes are external and i can't control them!