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vixen7243 · 11 days

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Undivided Attention : Snake in the Garden

TF 141 X AFAB!Reader

Masterlist | Soap | Snake in the Garden | Team bonding

CW: It's been a bit hard lately so this is gonna be dark thoughts, isolation and neglect. If you're going through something, feel alone or anything you're not alone, don't give up. After this things will be lighter and make up but this has been plaguing my mind. Enjoy..?..

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The guys didn’t tell you anything on the news of the recruits that had harassed you in the clinic, but your answer was that you hadn’t seen even a glimpse of them around base since, whispers of theory’s followed you everywhere. They either killed them and John forged papers or he pulled some strings and had them moved… Either way you minded your business and carried on with your work.

Until you heard some medics giggling in the break room off from the clinic. “Soap is so funny, I’m telling you if she could just stay locked to the base forever then I’m sure in no time he and I will end up together. The way he looks at me, I’m at the edge of my seat waiting for him to invite me with him to the pub for drinks.” Your heart pounded in your ears as you stepped closer to listen, “His hands are always lingering on my arms and waist longer than need be you know, like it’s been months, if he wants any I’ll give him whatever he wants. And Gaz, talk about pent up, the last time we were on an outing his groin wouldn’t leave my hips, if I’m lucky they will just replace her with me full time.” Peeking in you checked out who was talking, it was Angie, she was short, thin, short pixie cut dirty blonde hair brown eyes thin lips, completely opposite from you, she was pretty knew to the base and she hated you. You had picked up very quickly on the disgusted glances, her shoving past you never saying a word to you and spreading nasty rumors.

You always ignored her treatment towards you, there were quite a few girls around base that didn't like you because of how close you were with your team and they all had crushes on the lads, but they only ever sought you out also ignore the girls. But Angie compared to the other girls openly to your face showed distain. "John practically begged be to continue to work with them on missions, saying he needed me, had me pushed up against the door in his office, if Ghost hadn't of knocked, girl, we were so close to kissing." You felt sick, turning you quickly made your way back to your office slamming the door shut squeezing your eyes closed. You didn't want to believe that they would all so cruelly sneak behind your back and tease and entice someone like Angie. As much as the pain with the knowledge that you all weren't technically exclusive and no one ever said that they couldn't fornicate with other women or yourself with other men but you always thought that truly, with how much they let themselves be vulnerable with you, letting you see the worst in and of them while still holding them dear and treating them as if they were everything, like they were the air you needed in your lungs, the reason for you to wake up everyday and get out of bed. Sitting in your chair wiping a few tears from your cheek you blankly stared at your door.

Walking passed the food hall you stopped momentarily to see Angie standing very close to Johnny, her hand on his forearm, trailing up and squeezing his bicep a disgusting smile showing on her face as she tried to bat her eye lashes at him. Pushing her small chest into his hand she giggled as he turned from her walking, she all to quickly chasing after him like a desperate creature made you irate at Johnny's lack of care. Going into the rec room you looked at Kyle as he got up from the couch and followed you to the fridge, as you felt his arms wrap around your waist you hear Angie's claims of his closeness to her making you side step and carry on making a snack, "Been missing you gorgeous, need you." He breath, typically very warm and welcoming as it would tease down your neck felt uncomfortably hot, arms too tight. As he eased you from the rec room you aimlessly followed him to his room, as he laid with you in his bed you listened to his qualms, doubts and self image. Every few moments you spoke soft words, praises that made your throat tighten, gut twist and mind filled with the echoing of Angie's claims of her boys. As Kyle undressed the both of you, you couldn't help but wonder if he fucks any one besides you, pulling his head to the crook of your neck so he wouldn't see your eyes well up with hot tears you let him finish, the once warm feeling in your heart cold, lost, used.

As he laid down you turned to your side feeling his arms pull you tightly to his chest, his groin shoving against your ass. Squeezing your eyes you fisted the pillow beneath your head sighing heavily before easing yourself from his embrace once he had fallen asleep. Cleaning between your legs you dressed yourself and left the room, rec room dark you didn't want to see any of the others so you went back to your office and stayed there all night, nearing morning you busied yourself with work, whenever seeing any of the guys nearing you, you made quick work to avoid them and take over any injuries or emergencies.

"Darling, we're going to be gone for a few days." John said, tapping the side of his desk without looking up at you. He had requested that you see him, it was important he said, walking around the desk you stood beside him not saying a word as he leaned back grabbing a hold of your hand he pulled you to his lap, his cigar carefully set down as he kissed along your jaw. Each careful kiss burning you, even in his arms, his burning body heat searing your skin, you felt cold at your core. His fingers fiddled with yours, tracing your delicate digits, following up your wrist, forearm, before huffing against your cheek. "Nights have been colder without you dear, won't you come back with me tonight?"

Raising your hand to his rough beard, due to you dutifully and successfully not being near him or the others, it's grown quite a bit, and not as smooth. "After I wrap some things up at the clinic." He's tired, the darkness under his eyes evidence, he was also sad, the desperate glance he was giving you as he nodded, holding the back of your neck he pulled you forward, tongue explore your mouth, hands squeezing along your body. As much as the sight, touch and sound of them has been bringing you pain and anger, you've missed all of them so much, betraying your sadness, your body yearned for them, already so well trained to want them and take them.

Although the thought of finally after the past few days of avoiding everyone you almost let yourself be swept under the waves of his desire, his hands working your tired, sore muscles. You had been isolating yourself to your office, none of them ever really questioning on if your okay, where you've been and that has only worsened your despair that you really could only be of value for their release and comfort. The thought and rushing suffocating sensation over whelmed you, causing you to pull back from John who had started panting, hands close to undoing your pants, "I will see you shortly dear."

"Yes."

Collecting yourself you left his office and went to yours finding work to do, refusing to let anyone else do anything and take all the work for yourself. Creeping feelings and guilt for lying to John consumed you, seeing that it was very late, you decided that it wouldn't hurt to just go and that maybe you could shut up the horrid voices screaming at you how little you really are, pathetic you are for still caring so much for them when they clearly show you how little you mean to them. Walking through the base, voices of your ex mocking you for being so desperate to be loved, needed and wanted, his exploits to take advantage and abuse you running through your thoughts as you entered the rec room. Standing in front of John's door you tried to relax your shoulders and hush the viscous whispers and endings, endings of relationships, bonds, connections and life. The last, lately loud and prominent whenever you would see Angie around base slithering about snarking at you and being giddy with the guys. Silencing the noises you snuck into the room, stripping and crawling into his bed, his snores stuttering as you curled yourself around him.

Feeling him stir against you, you tilted you head up and returned the gentle kiss he gave you. "I'm here." You whispered feeling his hand pull you leg up to his waist.

"Darling." It started so fast, his pleas for you, his failings, hardships, his needs. Your heart broke, as much as you wanted to comfort him, give him something you found nothing, everything was emptied from you. You didn't even have anything for yourself to keep yourself together, your mind broke, you were thoroughly convinced that you will never be anything for or with anyone. You did not utter one word beneath him, he took comfort and desire from your body as you pushed your face into the crook of his neck.

Laying with him through the night you listened to his heart beat, his snores starting back up. You didn't sleep a wink, body heavy when he woke up getting ready to leave you laid there watching. As he helped you up, he cleaned you up asking if you wanted to shower, shaking your head he dressed you, slowly, eyes watching you intensely as you avoided looking him in the eyes. "We'll be back soon dear." Dumb little toy, you watched as he left, waiting a moment you then trailed them to a heli and watched as Angie had her arms wrapped around Johnny's arm and Kyle stood close behind her chatting with Simon who was glaring at her. When she turned and slapped Kyle's chest your felt tears burning your eyes when he smirked and pushed her shoulder. They were all so comfortable with each other, the physical contact that transpired between John and Angie when he got closer made your stomach drop when she reached for his beard and ran a hand through it saying something. When throughout this whole time none of them made a move to stop her and reject her, you were seething. As Simon took her hand helping her in you turned and set back to the barracks, going into each of their rooms taking back everything that was yours and hauling it all to yours. Pushing the door open the cold air rushed out, flipping the light on there was a layer of dust on everything. Rechecking their rooms that there was nothing left of yours in any of the rooms you closed and locked your door you pushed your back against the door and finally, finally cried, the tears burning down your cheeks. Sobs raking through your body as your slid down and wailed, it had been so long that the dam broke, the tears didn't stop for what felt like hours. Your throat was scratchy and dry, sleeves soaked with your tears, coughing, you went to your bathroom and puked.

Huffing you leaned against the toilet trying to think of how you could possibly get transferred to a different TF. The next few days you didn't leave your room, isolated and alone, you were drowsy when you heard rapid knocking on your door.

Returning to base the lads were thoroughly exhausted and annoyed with Angie, no matter how much they told her to back off, to be appropriate and leave them the fuck alone she never gave up. They couldn't wait to see you and hold you, your touch over writing the sickening feeling of Angie's touch. When they got to their rooms they did feel like something was off, unsure they unpacked. Simon right away noticed that all your stuff was missing, walking out he looked into Johnny and Kyle's rooms, "Is Y/N's stuff in your guy's rooms?"

"Huh?" Confused they both looked around and realized that in fact your stuff was missing, "What the hell?"

The three walked to John's room, he was in his office already getting back to work, they looked around and searched for your things yet again coming up empty handed. Going to your door they tried to walk in but the door was locked, "Y/N?" They started knocking and when they heard a whimper the knocking became more persistent.

Getting to your door you sniffled, "Just go away." you croaked, finally speaking.

"Bonnie -"

"I'm serious, leave me alone I don't want to see any of you." You started crying as you heard them walking away. Sitting on the floor you cried softly, so tired and alone, you hoped they would stay away and that when you finally came out they would leave you alone too. Looking to your desk the letter of your transfer waiting for Laswell, you already knew John wouldn't sign it, not willingly. Resting your forehead against your forearm you sighed.

"Y/N, open the door."

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Team bonding Urgh!!!!!!!!

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