#nerdy prudes headcanons

[sky-neverending]

NERDY PRUDES HEADCANONS GO (specifically Richie)

ok my main Richie headcanon is trans!Richie!!! i’m like a huge fan of ftm Richie idk why, it just makes sense. like. ugh. yesss.

Richie became the mascot around the time he transitioned fully and no one really knew who he was under the mask so when someone saw him they were like oh it’s that nerdy boy and he was like BOY?!?!? anyway trans richie yes

also, not really a headcanon, but i have this fun theory (that i’m writing a fic for) that the school also had whatever spell the Waylon’s put on the house, so Richie could also come back as a ghost demon thing.

richie and max were childhood friends until middle school, when max’s parents learned he was trans and made him drop him.

despite what she says, grace’s first kiss was ruth when they were in middle school. she doesn’t admit it EVER and ruth pretends it never happened bc she doesn’t want grace to get all defensive and hurt her feelings

steph and pete have sat next to each other since the second grade and steph used to steal his pencils as a kid to get his attention, and then would tell him to stop looking at her.

pete has a secret collection of leather jackets in the back of his closet. not to wear, just to look at. for fun.

ruth and pete met during dance class

pete was the first kid to accept richie for who he was and he gave him his old clothes until richie decided to buy his own because he was tired of wearing bow ties. also they bonded over getting bullied for their last names

richie and steph actually get along splendidly and they talk about random internet drama together while pete drinks his hot chocolate and tries to understand what the hell is going on

max is a secret bisexual i don’t make the rules

i think that’s all tbh i came up with most of these on the spot but ermmm i think they are all great and fit well.

trans richie FTW!!!

[jaundicesenator]

i made a silly little family tree that im gonna go more in detail with

ok so paul and gary 100% brothers

paul is the reserved older one while gary is the more successful annoying younger brother

paul is obsessed with christmad but hates all the musical commercials that come with it

paul also hates that gary watched musicals just to spite him

paul has 2 Christmas trees, one that is plastic inside that he wraps lights around and one tiny little one, think of that charlie brown tree, thats outside and he just sets ornaments next to it because they won't fit on the tree

he has a million inflatable decorations

paul is also richie's legal guardian

gary 100% constantly calls paul bothering him about little things

gary also watched richie a lot whenever paul stayed after work

he is the only attorney in the town and has to run across the courtroom and argue against himself(i stole this from someone else but forgot who)

he loves musicals, he first started watching them in spite of paul but then he grew the love them, his favorite is phantom of the oprah

jerry is a distant cousin to gary and is hated by almost everyone in their family

jerry metions abstinence constantly during family gatherings and everyone is sick of it

jerry also bothers paul wheneve he finally introduces emma to his family about how important it is to be celibate

richie is paul's nephew

richie only realized that gary was his uncle whenever he turned 16 and asked why gary was at every family event

he thought that gary was just a weird friend paul had

he is close to both gary and stopwatch

stopwatch is his cousin on his mom's side

stopwatch liked to hang around a lot before he went into the fighting ring

richie started missing stopwatch and tried to get into contact with him but couldn't for months

when the ring finally shut down stopwatch finally called richie back and they became best friends again(if no one died)

(if richie died) stopwatch would try to get into contact with richie but couldn't and he finally asked paul about it and found out that richie died and he stayed stuck inside for a while not feeling motivated to do anything

richie would try to hide the bullying that he endured from paul but paul found out and comforted richie the best he could by showing that he went through the same thing

richie and paul are autistic while gary has ADHD and they all infodump to each other constantly

when gary found out that richie was getting bullied he tried to use legal action but richie stopped him

also gary and ruth immediately clicked whenever they met each other and are very chaotic friends (both tease the shit out of richie)

this turned into headcanons very fast but oh well

[rotteneldritchhorror]

There’s not enough trans genderbending genderfucking of starkid characters

Anyways, Peter is transfemme and a girlflux who uses he/they pronouns, grunt is a transfemme butch, professor hidgens is a transfemme genderqueer twink, Richie is transneu and genderfluid and uses neopronouns and xenogenders, Tiffany is a transmasc who’s gender is just “femboy/rosboy”, lex is a transmasc demiboy, Hannah is transmasc and nonbinary

[eldritch-ace]

I present some nerdy prudes (oh and Max)

(I really wanted to take a shot at giving them all more than 1-3ish outfits that I think fit their styles)

[mind-lost-in-the-stars]

make this any of the nerds, and it’s correct, but I like to torture my favorite bisexual brunette man <33

[vilnmelling]

Jon Matteson family tree headcanon, anyone?

Emma found out about each of Paul's relatives separately.

First Emma scratched someone's car, and while they were discussing what to do about it, Paul said, "If it comes down to it, I can get in contact with Gary." "Gary Goldstein? You're on a first name basis with the only lawyer in town?" "Yeah. He's my older brother."

A couple of weeks later, Emma's talking about the rare instances when she actually remembers something about the Beanie's customers, and she mentions a guy with really weird and greasy, anime-like hair. "Huh. I didn't know Richie liked Beanie's." "Who?" "Richie. My nephew. With the anime hair."

An ad for Camp Idontwannabang comes up on TV, and Emma recalls her horrible summer at Camp Idontwannabang as a teenager. Then Paul pulls out the, "I'm glad I never had to go. My cousin's one of the counselors — well, one of the directors now — so my parents decided I shouldn't have to spend an entire summer with him." "Boy Jerry's your fucking cousin?"

While on their way somewhere, they run into Daniel outside the Roller-rama. Emma's like, "God, I feel like I've seen that kid outside the Roller-rama ten times." "Yeah, Daniel goes there a lot." "Why the fuck do you know his name?" "He's my other nephew."

Finally, Paul brings Emma to a family gathering, where she spots the identical Lipschitz twins, who she's always assumed to be the same person when she's seen them separately. "There's TWO of them?" "Yeah, that's Trevor. My third nephew."

Skip forward another few weeks and there's something on the news about politics and so forth. "That secretary of defense looks a bit like you, Paul. What's he; another secret brother?" "No." "Yeah, I know, I'm just messing—" "Wallace is my cousin."

[map-of-obsessions]

Richie is asexual. To me. Because when he talks about being his anime girls, he says he wants to 'hold them in his arms' which is an entirely nonsexual activity, when in my experience anime nerds will not hesitate to tell you all the wild freaky things they want to do with the characters. Also, the whole 'hit it and quit it conversation' feels like a desperate attempt at bro talk (possibly inspired by Richie eavesdropping on the football players when he's in the locker room as Zeke) that just culminates in awkwardness. Richie can't understand why Pete wouldn't want to hook up with Ruth (because all allo people seem to want to have sex all the time, right?) but simultaneously has no desire to do so himself, despite his own arguments about how easy it would be.

Also because I can do whatever I want forever and all of my faves get the 'asexual panromantic' beam projected upon them.

[reverseisekai-richie]

Aww... Pokey is getting into the weeb spirit of this blog.

[l0st-marblezz]

I saw this image of Ruth on Pinterest and I will never be the same

Unrelated but i headcanon that Ruth’s favorite song is Hot To Go! by Chappel Roan and taught the dance to Richie and Pete

[hauntedmanuscripts]

I’m a trans Peter Spankovski truther

Exhibit A: The “micro Peter” insult (cause he ain’t got no dick)

Exhibit B: “My titties are tenderized”

Exhibit C: He’s in a small friend group with a at least 1 bisexual/queer person and, in my personal experience, queer nerds flock together in high school

Exhibit D: His character revolves around being a “social outcast”

Exhibit E: Because I’m trans and I said so

[inkwell-illustrations]

I'm not projecting Paul's autistic

[jaundicesenator]

my richie headcanons :^

he is 100% trans, you cannot tell me a cis person would dress like that

pigging back off that, he has mayne anime themed binders

he wears a hatsune miku backpack

he is autistic

he hates soft and fuzzy textures (me fr)

he randomly quotes random tik tok audios

he used to have big rectangle glasses before he got bullied so bad that he wore contacts

he has pins all over his backpack and vest

he never officially came out as trans, but he was so unnoticeable before he started to transition, so no one noticed

his uncle paul helped him cut his hair

he dyes the tips of his bangs the color of his favorite character

he also really likes analog horror (im projecting on him)

he enjoys the stories behind analog horror and the hidden lore

he also enjoys chick-flicks

he is a hopeless romantic

he is bi asf

he wants to have a degree in film or art so he can his own films or anime

he can draw really well both realistically and cartoonish

ok thats it for headcanons sorry for the long list

[xxbimboboyxx]

This is how their homecoming went right?

Also i changed stephs dress to an extent because i have a giant hatred for the dress she wears in canon. Lemme know if you want me to rant about how shitty that outfit is for the setting shes in :3

oh and mixed steph cuz Corey plays her dad so it makes sense to me ^^

[eldritch-ace]

I love both of these nerds so much, they are unhinged sillies. I feel like they have a love/hate friendship.

[coloredlion102-blog]

RICHIEEEE !!!!

[tedlovesmusicals]

Some nerdy prudes headcanons in no particular order:

• Steph is a gamer girl. Her dad bought her the full gamer girl set up with the pink cat ear chair and see-through computer tower for her to just play the sims and stardew valley. Richie and Ruth get her into fortnight.

• Pete gets motion sickness so he reads a book while listening to his girlfriend cuss out 12 year olds.

• Richie made them all a discord server because it's "way cooler and more efficient than snapchat."

• Grace constantly sends Jesus themed gifs into the chat as reactions. Think of the stuff your grandma sends you when she discovered how to use the keyboard on her phone. Exactly. A lot of glittery easter crucifixes.

• Steph convinces Ruth to audition for the next school musical. Ruth gets her first ever lead role. Steph agrees to be in the chorus with Pete to support her.

• Grace forms an Abstinence Club so she can lure more dirty dudes and eat their souls or whatever.

• Pete gets them to play dungeons and dragons with him once. He was the dm. Richie was a dark elf rogue with a complicated backstory. Ruth was a bard that tried to seduce everything that moved. Steph got frustrated with the rules immediately and eventually just had Pete make a character for her. Grace played a real human priest that shamed the entire group for playing the devil's game before storming out after only being there for five minutes.