#never beating the fucked up found family allegations

[spacelaserlulu]

Rewatching It’s Always Sunny, and I’m so obsessed with how Charlie was immediately on Mac’s side and trying to help him with zero hesitation whatsoever when he thought Mac was a serial killer because he was like Sure Mac is a serial killer, but, more importantly, he’s my bro.

[tennessoui]

It intrigues me so much thinking obi wan probably thought he was going to have a nice normal partner maybe a school teacher or a nurse, and live his days solving crime and then BOOM undercover on mob work and then BOOM Mob Boss is all over you like extreme osha (is that how you spell it idk) violations happening and then BOOM Killing someone because they could take it all away because they blew your cover and then BOOM going to the police ball where his shitty father can see him on the arm of said alleged mob boss WITH built in twins i feel like at some point obi wan is just sitting there thinking all of them and then shrugs cause in the end he got the hot rich dilf and he can do literally whatever he wants (well not everything but I’m sure you understand)

hello hello i finally wrote the scene where anakin/vader and obi-wan meet :D aka "boom mob boss is all over you like extreme OSHA violations happening" because i thought that was funny af

(1.7k)

It’s never a stellar sign when Obi-Wan wakes up to a headache like this. In the academy, it’d been a rare occasion. He’d never been one to join his fellow recruits for late nights out in the sort of clubs that dot the darker corners of Coruscant. He was the son of a police chief, after all, and that gave him certain expectations to follow, none of which left much room for drunken tomfoolery.

But the sort of headache that greets him when he wakes up is the kind of headache he recognizes from the worst sort of hangover, the sort he’s only had a handful of times in his life.

For obvious reasons, the very first thing he does when he finds the energy to squint his eyes partially open is to immediately roll over and away from the light source in the room with probably the most pathetic noise he’s ever uttered in his life.

He can’t even remember drinking that much the night before is the thing. He’d—why would he? He was—last night was—the first night of his undercover mission, he’d never risk it all to get drunk—

“Careful with your head,” a deep voice murmurs from very near to him, and Obi-Wan freezes. He doesn’t know who that is, where he is…how he got here. The material beneath his cheek is leather, so it’s most likely a couch that he’s resting on. “You took quite a beating,” the voice adds, and it sounds amused.

Obi-Wan squeezes his eyes shut and tries to take stock of his body. He does hurt, that’s true. He hurts pretty much everywhere actually, like his body is one giant bruise.

He took a beating? He was only supposed to be a server at the club—it had been his first night on the fucking floor, how could anyone have even noticed him enough to—

Oh. One of Skywalker’s men. He’d hit on one of the dancers, Shela. She’d been nice to Obi-Wan, had shown him around and called him Benny.  

He’d gotten into a fight with the mobster when he wouldn’t leave well enough alone.

The fight had been taken outside. Six men against Obi-Wan. It hadn’t been much of a fight at all.

But where—

“Luckily, you’ve already been seen by the best and brightest in our fine city,” the voice says, and he must know he’s awake to be talking to him at all, but he still reaches out to touch Obi-Wan’s hair, proprietary. As if he knows he won’t be stopped.

The touch of fingers running along his hairline makes Obi-Wan freeze and then move, turning his face away, out of the man’s reach, and forcing his eyes open to glare at the touchy intruder.

His glare falters when he sees who exactly has found him. Where he must be.

Anakin Skywalker, businessman, restaurant owner, and suspected leader of the Coruscanti mob scene and its most violent family, stares back at him. His eyes are dark, his lips curled up into a smirk that makes Obi-Wan’s stomach tighten and his heartbeat rise. There is something very calculated and very cold about his eyes, and being under the full weight of them restricts his very breath.

“I was wondering if you had those,” Anakin Skywalker—known to all but a few simply as Vader—murmurs. He reaches out and touches Obi-Wan’s cheekbone, rough this time as if daring him to protest or flinch away from the movement.

The spike of tender pain makes Obi-Wan’s breath stutter. He must be pressing into a newly formed bruise. “Had what?”

Skywalker’s smirk grows. “Prey instincts.”

It’s like his heart misses a beat, lurching in his chest as he stares back at the mob boss. After all, he is wounded and weak and on what must be Anakin’s couch, inside what must be his home.

He’d been tapped by his father to infiltrate the Skywalker family’s mob, and he’s been studying up on all the information there is to know about Vader, his business, and his family since. The plan had been to work his way naturally into the confidences of the men of the 501st that frequented the strip club Obi-Wan got a job at. A free drink here and there, a charming smile, a flirty look….

The best way into the mob was to become a mobster’s fuck of the week. Or longer. Everyone knew that. Obi-Wan doesn’t want to think about his father signing off on his deployment, giving his permission for Detective Kenobi-Jinn to bend over and take it for the good of justice and law and order everywhere.

The plan had been to work his way into the affections of the mob, ask innocent questions in the minutes after sex when a mobster’s shields were mostly down, record the answers and report his findings to Detective Secura every other week.

The plan was not to wake up on Anakin Skywalker’s couch with the man caressing his face. The plan was not to ever even meet Skywalker. He was supposed to spread his legs for an underlying. A commander at most.

Someone like—what was the man’s name? One of the men last night—he’d been kind. He’d been someone Obi-Wan had hoped would come back, because—

“Daddy?” A voice asks from the doorway, and Obi-Wan lifts his head slightly at the sound. He’d known Skywalker had children, but he hadn’t known they’d be here—meeting Vader’s children was not in the plan at all.

Skywalker’s eyes darken, and he doesn’t take them away from his face, not even when he reaches out a hand to the doorway. “Come here, Leia baby.”

There’s the pattering of little feet and then suddenly a pair of big brown eyes is blinking at Obi-Wan from far too close to be socially acceptable. He twitches back on instinct, and a large hand wraps around the girl’s throat to tug her away gently. “We shouldn’t scare him, baby,” Skywalker murmurs in his deep, soft voice. “He’s skittish.”

Obi-Wan barely holds back an offended scoff. He’s not skittish, he’s aware enough to know that he’s at a significant disadvantage here.

At least it’s highly unlikely that he’ll be murdered in front of Skywalker’s kid.

“Daddy, Luke and I put all those band-aids on him and patched him up so good,” Leia says, allowing her father to drag her backwards and settle her onto the edge of the coffeetable. “You can’t make him bleed again.”

Alright, maybe the presence of his kid isn’t enough to usually keep him from murder. He sits up carefully, swinging his legs down onto the ground even though the motion makes him want to vomit. 

He’s barely vertical when Leia pushes herself under his arm to put her head in his lap, arranging his hand so that it’s resting on her head.

Obi-Wan’s eyes widen and he looks at Skywalker.

The man just smirks as he leans back himself to look his full.

“You gave Luke head scratches all night,” Leia accuses when he doesn’t move.

“I—what?” Luke? Who is Luke?

“Rexy brought you to Daddy and he wasn’t here so he put you on the couch and Luke and I patched you up and you gave Luke so many head scratches even though he fell asleep which isn’t fair because we used my band-aids and you were sitting on my end of the couch!”

Obi-Wan blinks.

Obi-Wan’s hand starts moving, petting the girl’s head. 

Rex. That was the name of the man from the bar last night, the one who had been kind. Who had apparently looked after him, gotten him somewhere…reasonably safe. 

Perhaps the plan isn’t ruined after all.

“Oh,” he says very carefully. “Rex helped me? That’s very nice of him. I should like to…thank him personally then.”

Leia shoots up away from his side with an insistent scowl, one Obi-Wan is unprepared to deal with or understand. He looks away from her to frown at Skywalker, but Skywalker is wearing the same expression—though much darker.

“Weren’t you listening?” Leia demands. “Me and Luke helped you! Rex just gave you to Daddy!”

“Oh,” Obi-Wan blinks. He doesn’t…know what he’s supposed to be doing. Or saying. But he can try. “Well, thank you very much for your help, Leia. You and your brother made me feel much better.”

Leia beams and gives him a pat on the arm as if he’s a dog who has gotten a trick right. “Daddy,” she says and looks to Skywalker. “We are keeping him. Luke and I talked about it and that’s what we decided. We want Ben.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes widen. This is definitely not part of the plan.

But at least he’d been with it enough to give them his undercover name, despite being out of it enough to end up on Anakin Skywalker’s couch surrounded by his children, and then pet at them.

“I thought you were talking to Ahsoka about wanting a puppy,” Skywalker says. His tone is unreadable, but his eyes are softer as they look at his daughter.

Ahsoka. Ahsoka Tano. Vader’s second.

“Ben is better than a puppy,” Leia declares, and Obi-Wan feels sort of—touched. Despite himself. Despite the myriad of reasons he should be on his highest guard, even against this child.

“Ben is not even in the same realm as a puppy,” now Vader sounds amused. “If anything, you are requesting to adopt a little mouse.”

“Well…maybe Ben can be mine, and Luke can get the puppy,” Leia suggests.

Obi-Wan wonders if Ben is going to get a choice in this conversation, and then he wonders what he’d choose.

The plan does not mention him getting within touching distance of Anakin Skywalker.

As if he knows what he’s thinking, Skywalker turns dark eyes to him. “What if,” he says, in that soft tone he’d been using when he told Obi-Wan to mind his head, “I keep Ben, and you and Luke can get the puppy?”

That’s it then. The plan—and Ben—and Obi-Wan are all fucked.

“Okay,” Leia says.

Obi-Wan doesn’t say anything. His chest feels tight, and he's confused. He's confused because he's not sure he did anything to warrant being kept. He hasn't earned his keep yet. All he's done is bleed all over Vader's sofa. This is a deviation from the plan. He was supposed to be flirty and seductive and work to get the attention of one the mobsters until he ended up on his back for the good of the city. He's not supposed to--

“Well?” Vader asks, cocking his head slightly. 

“Okay,” Ben whispers, and Vader smiles. 

[adhd-pixie-nightmare-girl]

Fantasy High Character Text Posts 4

Fabien: "he's never beating the babygirl allegations" and it's a fictional man wanted for murder./ who needs therapy when you have murdering every unfortunate bastard who ever wronged you?

Riz: *bottles up emotions* this coping shit's easy

Fig: just found out my entire personality is a trauma response/ my toxic trait is how badly i want to domesticate a racoon

Fig to Kalvaxis: Is that a swarm of locusts in your pants or are your dick and balls heralding the end of days?

Gorgug: yes my feelings are valid but i don't want them

Adaine: I hate when people say that I have to 'get out of my comfort zone' I don't even have a comfort zone. I am literally always uncomfortable

Kristen after Tracker kisses her: wtf do you say after kissing someone? don't forget to like and subscribe

Kalvaxis: my biggest personality flaw is definitely my personality

Gilear: are you mad at me? would you like to be? / he has the looks of a depressed English professor and the soul of a whore.

Aelwyn: but at least im mature enough to admit that fuck you. fuck you fuck you fuck you

Ragh: i am EVIL!!!! no i don't want to join your found family please go away. I'm literally pointing a death laser at you *sobs* stop asking about my dad

Zane: gonna see how hard i can bully the gay little protagonist kid until i get my redemption arc privilege revoked

The Bad Kids to Biz: I used to fantasize about befriending you and making you less fucked up. Though you are a lost cause

The Bad Kids: ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened./ Can't neurodivergent minor our way out of this one, boys

[limnsaber]

Mandalorian Slash Fic Rec List - Volume IV: ArmorKatan, DinCobb, BobaDin, Others

What it says in the title! 💜 means a personal favorite of mine. Volumes I, II, and III can be found at the associated links, as well as Mando Gen Volumes I, II and III. Give your love to our beloved authors, and please enjoy! -Limn <3

Bo-Katan/The Armorer

your hands in the heat by noraelle (Bo-Katan Kryze/The Armorer, Missing Scene, Gen, 2.5k)

Bo let her gaze drift across the surreal mix of Mandalorians sprawled out in front of her on deck before letting it linger on the Armorer, who was still tending to the wounded, changing medpads. The movement of her hands was quick and skilled, similar to the few times she had seen the other woman forge beskar, telling her this most likely wasn’t the first time she’d been in charge of patching up a group of injured. or: bo has a lot of thoughts, gets teased by koska and the pirates ship turns out to be the perfect backdrop for a heart-to-heart

💜 accidents let the evening in the back door by @swampcowboy (Bo-Katan Kryze/The Armorer, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Teen, 7k)

They might as well put it in the papers: Former Up-and-Coming Political Spitfire Turned Alleged Domestic Terrorist Found Absolutely Fucking Pathetic, Might As Well Be Dead, Aged 36. Because nobody who found themselves plastered at a fringe Mando bar for the third Friday night in a row had anything left to contribute to the world, obviously. (Or, Bo-Katan Kryze finds herself in the depths of a personal crisis at a birthday party for some asshole she doesn't even know. She makes the best of a bad situation. The Armorer helps.)

why don't you close your eyes and reinvent me by @novasforce (Bo-Katan Kryze/The Armorer, Missing Scene, Mature, 1k)

But she keeps her helmet grasped between steady hands, keeps her eyes focused and unblinking, and her head held high. She is Bo-Katan Kryze, and she is none of the weaknesses that had once gotten her sister killed; she is forged from beskar in both body and mind, unshakable and impenetrable. Or: a meeting in the Forge beneath Nevarro

DinCobb

how it feels when we fall, when we fold by @ckerouac (Din Djarin/Cobb Vanth, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Missing Scene, Gen, 11k)

“Well… shit, Mando,” Cobb breathed, resetting the safety on his blaster and holstering it. “This isn’t exactly what I meant when I said I hoped our paths crossed again.” Din gave a humorless chuckle and let his head fall back against the wall. “This isn’t how I saw it going either.” Cobb takes in a grieving Mandalorian, who isn't quite ready to accept he's grieving yet.

They got me and I’ll never give up (But I need you to save me now) by @emmeddt (Din Djarin/Cobb Vanth, Mistaken Identity, POV Cobb Vanth, Fluff and Angst, Explicit, 33k)

“You planning of making a mess in my town?” The answer is immediate, right to the point. “You planning on shooting me?” Cobb decides to play it safe: he doesn’t remove his hand from the blaster. “Not if it can be avoided.” The stranger’s lips break apart in more than one place when he produces another little grin, a sarcastic twitch, but somehow Cobb knows that the smile is not for him: it’s meant for the stranger himself. “Maybe it can’t,” the guy says after a beat. “Maybe it would be better that way.” -- Or: my take on what really happens after Din is forced to say goodbye to Grogu.

BobaDin

think not, the eleventh commandment by qigiined (Din Djarin/Boba Fett, Ensemble Cast, Family Dynamics, Disabled Character, Moby Dick AU, Mature, 18k)

Boba leaves Djarin to his tracking while he takes deep breaths and tries to convince himself that running screaming into the wastes is not how he is going to deal with all this. He needs to think smarter, not harder. The sarlacc is an enormous motherfucking terror dome. It cannot move far, and it cannot possibly move fast. If it moved, it has to be around here somewhere. Someone has to have felt it or seen it. Someone has to know something about sarlaccs. Someone living. Someone dead. (Boba sets out to hunt his white whale.)

💜 still got it by qigiined (Rex/The Armorer, Din Djarin/Boba Fett, Ensemble Cast, Romance, Drama, Teen, 14k)

Bly points out that it’s a good thing that Boba has found a connection with someone who is so orderly and collected. Opposites attract, he says. “Mando only remembers he exists twice a day,” Fives deadpans. “When he speaks,” Cody corrects. “Guys, you don’t know that,” Bly says. “He could be just as smitten. Rex, you dated a Mandalorian once. Tell them.” All eyes land on Rex. He begins to sink into his chair. (Rex dated the Armorer back in the day and finds her again when he meets the guy who Boba is trying to court.)

Rarepair/Multi

oh you little night by qigiined (Din Djarin/Cobb Vanth, Din Djarin/Boba Fett, Ensemble Cast, Misunderstandings, Drama, Romance, Mature, 18k)

Cobb can’t help smiling wryly and wondering if the Mandalorian has been looking for someone to take home who his mama would approve of. He wonders if the Mandalorian’s knees went weak in the face of Boba Fett’s endless list of successful bounties. He wonders if he stammers when he tries to talk to him. It would be cute if so. Cobb’s jaw has been aching for the last two days. (Cobb Vanth is called down to Anchorhead to investigate a case on behalf of a Tatooine historical society. He leaves having just learned that the Mandalorian he's been opening his heart to has been opening his heart to someone else.)

Everything Else by skywalkers (Han Solo/Paz Vizsla, Background Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Ensemble Cast, Mandalorian Religion, Force-Sensitive Paz Vizsla, Teen, 39k)

The Armorer raises her hand. “The Manda appeared before you, for which you are destined. You have toiled under this dishonor, and now the Gods have shown their favor. But these portents show more.” She takes a moment to gather herself; Paz hears it in the air like a hammer. “You will have your glory and name, Paz Vizsla. And you will betray Din Djarin.” - Paz receives a vision from the Gods promising his redemption—and Din's doom. While struggling with his new connection to the Gods, he and Han Solo, a general of the New Republic, are sent to the planet of Corellia to investigate a covert that's gone missing.

[rigginsstreet]

The Duffers trying to peddle the whole found family, outcasts band together arc is so fucking funny to me because:

Nancy was never an outcast, they just gave her that shitty 'preppy popular girl gets moral angst so becomes a badass gun wielding apocalyptic grunge princess overnight' arc and then literally never showed her at school again so even if she did become an outcast, you actually never see it. In fact, we see multiple times beyond that that she's still very much considered the polite, proper, middle-upper class small town girl by any of her peers who aren't The Gang.

Barb. Chubby shy girl always in the preppy princess' shadow as the holy voice of reason, invited along as nothing but the moral support so Nancy can get laid. Dead. Dead and forgotten by literally everyone except her parents and used as a character device for Nancy (and by extension her romance with Steve.)

Steve is only technically an outcast by association. Sure, he has that fight with Tommy, but Tommy and the dude always kissing ass in Tommy's shadow are the only ones we ever see actually like. Treating Steve any differently, arcade manager dude aside (who just does not give a shit about anyone else anyway.) If the Duffers had actually properly shown Steve at school like Nancy we would've seen that while he might not have been as popular, he definitely wouldn't be sat alone in the corner. I mean come on he was in Scoops Ahoy and still getting flirted with. If you actually peeled him away from The Gang for like five minutes he'd be top of the food chain again.

The actual outcasts themselves pick and choose who is and isn't allowed in The Gang and will immediately turn on each other the moment one of them doesn't meet the standard, as we clearly saw with Lucas, who literally just got into sport and made a few friends on the team. They turn on each other constantly, weaponize their knowledge of each other as and when it suits them, and clearly have a classification of what is and isn't the 'right' kind of outcast. (coughBillyHargrovecough.) Which is exactly the behavior they resent the 'normies' for.

Apropos Billy. The Duffers literally said "its about outcasts and found family and coming together against monsters both human and not" and then also said "except for the traumatised queer-coded abuse victim. We very very clearly want you to know he is the most evil of evil out there and his sole purpose is to get beaten up and die." They decided Steve Harrington couldn't die so they made his evil gay clone. The literal only way they could think of to make Billy "bad" was to have him shout at Lucas and beat up Steve. They said "his ass is too big for him to live but we're gonna ride it for the entire PR train."

Speaking of queer-coded outcasts and dying. I know you hate Eddie Munsen, but he was basically the Queer Canary 2.0. The Duffers really said "anyone who would not be on a Home and Garden magazine cover must be shot on sight." Joe and Joseph started getting a lil too homerotic and the Duffers started loading up the gun.

And controversial but Robin. I love love love Robin but its really like the Duffers said "we have to keep one queer alive to avoid the homophobia allegations" and then after months at the drawing board they just shrugged and said "why don't we just copy-paste Steve but change the formatting to lesbian?"

And like. Its been shown that the moment all these so-called outcasts are separated, suddenly, they're not really that outcast anymore! They're all growing up, getting hobbies, making new friends, realizing that they don't have quite as much in common as they thought they did. Will and Dustin are the only two who kind of stay on the hem of that original format.

I'm not even going to talk about whatever the fuck that was with Eleven running away to some fever dream Murder Goths™ secret club. Not even the Duffers want to talk about it. It genuinely makes me think of the Twilight baseball scene. Its like you know the vision they had in mind when they thought it up but then its like they asked AI to create it.

Stranger Things is just the Duffers' Wattpad Mary Sue Y/N fanfiction.

Don’t you DARE disrespect the twilight baseball scene like this

No one in this life could ever convince me Eddie is queer like god himself could stand before me and I will tell him he is wrong

Billy being Steve’s evil gay clone is so real tho I’ll give you that

Um it’s 2024 are we all ready to admit the party is just the nerd boy version of the plastics? Are we ready to have that conversation? I’m ready to have that conversation

[complete-idiot-in-love]

Watching Once Upon A Witchlight episode 40!! (SPOILERS AHEAD)

Episode 40 was as funny as always! I love this show so much!!

@cafekitsune made the dividers :3

"Why are you so ugly, why are you such a little fuck?” - Gricko Grimgrin once again making me laugh with his unchecked agression towards lornlings

Twig asked the big question of “when the quest is done, are you all going to go back home?" That my self insert dreads the answer to only to be met with a " yeah, but we'd be able to come back through the mirrors” which I'm VERY happy about because that's my self inserts main worry is that their new found family would leave and never come back and they'd be alone again

Twig is so little sister coded

No Pathetic man (Torbek) in this episode :(. I wonder when he'll come back, I already miss him

They want Twig to come with them back to the material plane and open her inn there when they reopen carnival lecroux!! That would make my self insert so happy!! I can already imagine my self insert performing at the inn every night while their family ran the carnival!!

So glad they left Torbek with the lornling pot while they drank hag wine, gods know that alcoholic bugbear doesn't need more alcohol (My self insert still saves a flask for him though because why wouldn't they get some of the good shit for their bestie??)

Kremy and Frost getting absolutely FUCKED up on hag wine is so funny in comparison to Gricko being the shortest and absolutely fine with it

Gideon trying to save his husband from the wine only to tackle him into a sea of broken glass XD

“It was free and I want a refund! I'm tripping balls!” - Morning Frost can't handle alcohol new headcanon!!

“I'm not Torbek levels of disgusting, I only occasionally eat rat snacks!” - Gricko Grimgrin (My self insert: "HEY! He may be gross but he's my bestie!!")

“I may be totally off bussay (base)” “I thought you were saying something different.” “Gimmie dat bussay >:3” - Gricko and Kremy (I love them so much when they accidentally stumble into a joke. Chaos twins fr fr)

END STREAMINATOR!! AN OWLBEAR? HOOTSIE THE OWLBEAR???? (Dan Povenmire would be so proud)

Loved when they stopped playing D&D in the middle of the episode so Derek could talk about tomb raider and how he had to see the movie twice and hated it

The fake out of Torbek eating the lornlings to him sitting on the "pot" is so damn funny because you know that if Andy was there he probably would've made that joke!

Everyone doing their Torbek impressions throughout the episode is so cute, they're all one big dumb family and I love it!!

YOOOOO, IS THE FOURTH SISTER ZYBILNA???

Torbek "fist pumping" in the corner made me die from laughter, bro isn't beating those public masturbation allegations anytime soon! I still love my gross bestie tho!

[lostacelonnie]

Hey no worries i have to interact with people i dont wanna all the time & have to take a moment & not be like that myself. Oh shit its school time already? Maybe some will know but the beauty is that eventually you reach a point where nobody will who you dont want to so fuck it we ball on that one. Lakeside beaches are also very good i think mt fuji in japan has some like. Lakeside beaches that offer a good view of it & i wanna see that. Im not sure what the definition of fancier english words is here but mostly you dont need them in my experience anyways. Even specific words have workarounds. Ah so making it easier & more generic but not going into the details like they used to. Thats a shame especially with how confusing english can get. I went one town over a week or two ago & it was 108 F, or 42 c i had to convert that, at like 8 at night i was dying. Totally fair sometimes knowing when to hold off is best & its nice to enjoy stuff later for certain things. Turned out i had enough for 2 ten pulls but kafka came home on the first so my luck got burned for a bit i think. Cant wait to use her. The story is interesting but ive been having. So much fun diving in fontaine i ignored the story for a whole day. Good luck on your gear maxing & eventual ender dragon fight! Ah yes a tough choice. That i guess boils down to how much you like your family. So good luck on that decision as well! Oh please do! I found a purple that should work with my hair just need to use it when i have time. I would like to grind more but it kills my phone battery. Oh i got sampo too but i dont think i need to worry about building yet. So no artifact grind for me. The aeons are conceptually really cool & i cant wait for more simulated universe. When i get back to it. So many side quests. My brain is a sponge for fish facts mostly. Its weird. Like antarctic sponges are theorized to live so long because the low temperature & high pressure slow their aging dramatically

thanks ahdfkjg i appreciate it. it is indeed school time already! i start in just under a week but the beginning of the school year is pushed back this year bc september 1st is on a friday so its starting on the 4th instead! yippee! and yeah defo but luckily the people who already know, that being my mother and a couple friends, are very chill about it so even More fuck it we ball. yeah im pretty sure it does but not completely certain. speaking of which maybe ill go see mt fuji if i end up traveling more when older. and well its hard to explain shdfj i mostly mean like, rarer words used, for example, in poetry, or more specific words, lets say the parts of a ship- which, yes, i DO know the basic ones, but theres a couple that i only know the polish equivalent of [for example, a dziób is called a prow! i had to look that up!]. but yeah it doesnt really hinder my day to day understanding of the language, its just occasionally mildly annoying. and yeah it is like that but oh well. GOOD LORD 42C????? id just Perish. the moment it starts getting uncomfortable for me is like 27c [80f]. yeah ill see What Life Brings!! and oh congrats!!! tbh i didnt really have the energy to play star rail recently sjdnflgk but at least i converted that time into actually drawing so id say its for the better. and oh cool!!! im back in warsaw so ill probably check it out any day now sjdkfjm if im not too busy with rain world that is. god i love rain world. and thank you!!!! its extremely funny bc while ive liked minecraft for YEARS now i never actually ended up beating the game cos i have an unfortunate tendency to abandon saves.... but ill try to finally do it. beat the fake gamer allegations. i do actually like my family, or at least my mother since im not really close with my half siblings [all adults, also 2 outta 3 dont moved out of poland] or the rest [live like half the country away] so yeah i still have to think about it. anyway, dye update: i actually managed to do it! finally. thank god. and oh i feel you, my phone was dying bc of memory so i play on pc now. best decision of my life tbh. YEAHHH im so curious about them...... SWARM DISASTER GAME MODE SOON THO....... AND EPIC thats so cool!!! i love hearing fish facts knowing damn well im Not going to remember anything

[bagog]

What On Earth Has Happened

Hey, no story here, no experiments. Just a play by play of an awful year in my life. Please don't reblog. Trying to just get it down in one place for people who care about me. Long, sob-story beneath the cut.

Air - 'Things are looking up!' I had started to drift a bit from tumblr. The porno purge came and a lot of my friends trickled off the platform after that. I went back to school, attempting to score myself a Masters degree in something that would pay enough to get me out of Student Debt. I was doing great, picking things up fast. I got a new job at a company doing pretty menial work, but the people I worked with were great conversationalists. The work didn't involve dealing with customers at all, paid well, and was small and accomplishable tasks. Essentially I was being prepped to take a better position at the place once I had my Masters. Covid happened, then. Earth - 'The Whole World Sucks Right Now' My company was "essential," so I continued going to work, now on weird schedules. The company I worked for was profiting off Covid, all the while making fun of it as an overblown conspiracy, even as their own epidemiologist urged them to take better precautions. Work became hard to swallow. Water - 'When your lowest place could be lower' The apartment I shared with my boyfriend flooded. The lowest place in any sewage system is typically the bathtub, such that if it backs up, it does so into that tub. Our lowest point is the toilet. So the apartment flooded. Three times. Roots growing through the sewage outflow meant that, often, you needed to wait a solid hour between toilet flushes, or else the toilet would back up with such gusto the sewage would slosh down the hallway and into the living room. We mopped many times. The problem was finally fixed 8 months later, necessitating our having to camp because our house had no water. Fire - 'To destroy all you've done' One afternoon, I smelled burning. Going to our bedroom, I found our shelf a column of flame. I could barely breathe for all the smoke, but I managed to grab a blanket and beat the fire out. On the other side of the room, the pages of the books upon another shelf had begun to crisp from the heat, the blinds on all the windows were warped. The whole apartment had been about to go up. I'm kinda scared of fire now. Heart - 'When moving is too much to ask' Personal health sorta hit a new low. Migraines kept me out of work for two full weeks. I have seasonal foot pain, I always assumed from hiking for a living in my 20s. Turns out it was gout, all the while. Gout is exceptionally painful: it's like a messy pile of razor blades in the ball of your foot every time you step down. At work, I could barely stand. Walking from my car to the door became something I needed to psyche myself up for. Not a lot can stop a gout flare-up once it's in full swing, so I just had to wait it out. For a month. Two. Some of the worst sustained pain I've been in. Little did I know that, in January, come the kidney stones. Kidney stones feel awful. Feel like total shit. Gout and kidney stones are comorbid--brought about as a result of the meds I take to help me focus. So any day I don't drink enough water is a day when my kidneys or my foot just starts aching. But going back to September of 2020... Homophobia - 'goddammit' Finally things are looking better. I'm limping quickly again. Then I am called into the HR office. I am told that two sexual harassment charges have been brought against me. I'm told that one individual has alleged that I, while in the restroom, used a reflective toilet brush to attempt to peep him under a stall wall. I did not do this. I do not understand--reflective toilet brush?? wtf. The second allegation: I just straight up looked over a stall at a guy. I didn't do this either. I'm asked to defend myself, I ask who or date or time of day. I am given nothing. I remark that I don't think I'm tall enough to see over the stall, and I do not understand about the toilet brush. Of the ten minutes of the meeting, I spend 8 of them trying to get my head around how a claim about a reflective toilet brush has me here. "Would you like us to go now to see if you're tall enough to see over the stall? If that would help your defense?" says the HR head. "Yes, I

would," says I. We did not go. I am told that the accusers have no reason to be collaborating, or to even know each other made a claim. This is bullshit, because it was a company of 80 people, and only a quarter of those employees used the restroom where my alleged harassment was to have taken place. Before I am dismissed from work for the day to go home and wait to find out if I'll be fired or not, I march into the HR office once more and say "I hope none of this is happening because I'm gay." The HR head looks positively offended. I got fired cuz I'm gay. Next day I got a call. They'd come to the "objective truth" (that phrase is burned in my mind), and were terminating me. Apparently they discounted the toilet brush rumor, after all. But they really honestly believed I looked over the stall at a dude. Nightmare - 'No Fear One Fear' Let me tell you something: this is a nightmare. This is my honest-to-god nightmare. I've been terrified of getting accused of something in a bathroom since I was 11 years old. I am incredibly self-conscious and careful in public restrooms. To be fired? From a place full of people I like? And all of them will think I'm a pervert. My boyfriend worked at the same place. He would now have to work there every day dealing with people looking at him and wondering what he must think of his boyfriend. That sent me on a spiral. I'm still out of work, almost a year later. It would have been the worst mental health crisis of my life if it wasn't for my boyfriend, my support network, and the meds I've finally been able to get ahold of. Oh, also. My two accusers? Were roommates. HR knew they were roommates. They basically collaborated on a story to get me fired. The story circulating around the place (I still have acquaintances I talk to working there) has dropped the reflective toilet brush entirely. I guess they thought it was too unbelievable. So anyway, the people who accused me are now telling a different set of events than what I was told. Absolute horse shit. Tried to go to my city's human right's council to see if my situation warranted further attention. I gave my side of the story--including tales of the straight manager who had had enough harassment charges brought against him that he was no longer allowed to meet female staff--which indicated I'd been treated differently and wrongly. My old job made an impassioned argument that the committee violated their First Amendment rights(?) ('Freedom of speech' is the biggie with the First Amendment, for people who cba re:USA). I won the vote!! But one member of the committee was missing. So there weren't enough people for the vote to pass. Dismissed. We took it to the EEOC to make an official federal complaint. Just a week ago, an agent of the US Government patiently explained to us that these laws are literally designed to fuck over the worker and protect the employer unless they are epically stupid, and unfortunately, mine had not been epically stupid. So there's nowhere to go, no recourse to be had. It's over, I guess. Family - 'How to sum it up quickly...' My family hit me with the old soft-disown. No more calls, no more communication. They think they are loving me by not having contact with me. By depriving me of my family, they hope it will make me realize that the path I'm on is destructive, and I'll return to them living an upright life. No. I'm living an upright life, now. And if my family can choose to throw me away, then they are not a family I choose. Then my dad hit me back two months later, absolutely gaslighting me and pretending we never had the disown conversation at all. Reality - 'I don't know who I am anymore' I have trouble knowing what's real, anymore. Every message my dad sends on the surface seems loving and supportive and plaintive. I feel I must be the one in the wrong. I got fired for bullshit reasons. It doesn't feel real. "My family can't possibly have ceased contact with me: that's one of those things I know can never happen!!" But that did happen. So what else that feels real, actually isn't? I do

mean to be so dramatic, and I won't apologize for it. But I truly do feel like my mind has been pretty thoroughly unseated by the last year. Whoever I am, I'm becoming someone different. More distilled, at very least. I've discovered a lot of things about myself: trauma that has likely led to a lot of my mental health problems. Discovered I actually have RAGING ADHD, and it has robber me of a lot of things I wanted to do, and now is sort of consuming me completely. I'm looking for help. Trying to get better. Here's hoping. Every bold point above could be its own book, for all my thoughts about them. But enough of that for now. Love you. Thanks for reading.

[whorhees]

Cracks in the Sun (Euphoria)

This is a little snippet of my euphoria character synopsis. All of this is done by Rue’s narration.

Jaden Art was the definition of a sheltered child.

Her entire life, her family kept things from her. She was the moment for them, they wanted her to be happy. And in return, she bloomed. She was one of the wealthy families, sitting at the house at the tip of the hill of the block known as ‘rich row’ her family seemed like your average wealthy black family.

Her father, Andrew Art, was an big investor in Jacob’s construction. Him and Cal went way back to College, promising that they’d always look out for each other. Andrew would buy land, allow Cal to put buildings, and boom. They both made their money. Andrew was handed his company by his father, and the rest was history. Well of course, just like every wealthy black family, Andrew was faced with certain scandals. All that were just out to get him like OJ.

That’s not a good comparison now is it, he’s more like Kobe Bryant or Tupac with the false allegations.

Andrew always kept his mouth shut, the coke wasn’t his and the pills were prescribed he’d always say. And every single time he beat them, now he wasn’t technically telling a lie. They weren’t his, and he did have certain medications. But Andrew was hiding and covering for someone. But it’s not like that matters, the cases were always thrown out and swept under the rug just like every other rich person case.

Now her mother, Lashawn Art, was first in it for the money. Her mother would tell her when she first came to America to either get rich or marry into it. And Lashawn did just that, but along the way they did end up falling in love. And it wasn’t one sided anymore, they were both full blown in love. They had two beautiful kids and the rest was history. Some what. Lashawn was somewhat of a trophy to Andrew, he was always eager to show her off. To get her the biggest of diamonds and the flashiest of clothes. Lashawn loved to be envied, you could say that green truly was her color.

Lashawn would always tell jade to never settle for less, to find someone who would go to the end of the earth and come back with the biggest diamond possible and then and only then, consider marriage. It worked for her didn’t it?

Now the woman did have her faults, her faults came as her son. Demetrius Art.

Demetrius was a wild child growing up, he was never humbled. His mother adored him and his father fed his ego. He was fed with a silver spoon, on a silver platter, in a fucking diamond chair. He was a dick needless to say. Remember what I said about Andrew covering for someone? This is someone, his own damn son. Andrew was hoping that one day Demetrius would grow up and get serious, that one day he could take the boy around the office and teach him stocks. But Demetrius was far from growing up actually, he was living it to the fullest.

Demetrius met Fez during middle school and the two of them were practically inseparable. Everything Fez did, Meech did. Everything Meech did, Fez followed. Demetrius didn’t get into the gangs, the dealing, the problems, until his sophomore year. He learned that dirty money was a lot more quicker to get compared to investing, waiting, dealing your cards. With dirty money it comes right to you, with the needles out high and junkies coming to get higher.

His father found out about his side hustle and lost all faith in Demetrius, but instead of confronting him. Arguing, or even talking about it, he ignored it. Hid it from the world, and just like that Demetrius became forgotten to the company and to many people. But hey, his father’s leadership talk did end him up somewhere. He became the leader of Cobra Kings during his first year of college all the while raising his 4 year old son and making sure he was alright.

But back to the person at hand, her. Jaden Art, the golden child. She was Junior chess champion six years in a row, regular chess champion four years in a row. Jaden was never really a people person, she was quiet and shy. She would always freeze when people talked to her and they only found it cute. Jade was everything that her mother and father wanted. A quiet, obedient, soft spoken child. It always took her a little push to talk, to make friends. Andrew ‘forced’ her to be friends with Nate Jacobs. If you ask me, Nate was full of shit since we were kids. If you ask Jade, Nate didn’t become full of shit until eighth grade.

Now Negatively Nate Jacobs being your first friend never seemed good, but he did give jade the push she needed. She met Seven Mckay, from Seven she met two more friends. Sierra and Sekani. Together they called themselves SSS and it just kinda, stuck. Jade was slowly coming out of her shell and needless to say she was proud of herself, she started talking more, smiling a lot, she was like the sun to some people. They could look at her for hours…

Jaden Art continued to be, well her. She was always sweet, never judged anyone. Some would say she was even a saint, others would claim she was just being stuck up. But that all changed when her brother got kicked out of college and was put on house arrest her first year of high school. Demetrius was losing money, he owed people, and he could feel himself slipping at the thought of his family getting hurt. He couldn’t find a solution to move the drugs and money without getting caught until…

“Meech? Are you okay?”

His baby sister, naive and worried. She’d do anything to make sure he was straight. He swallowed a lump in his throat as he picked up a black book bag.

“Hey, can you take this to Fez for me? Make sure you keep your head down and watch everything around you”

Now that should’ve set every red flag off in Jade’s head but she smiled and nodded her head. “Yeah!! Uh!! And we’re gonna watch movies when I get back right?” Demetrius mustered all the courage to put a smile on his face, nodding. “Yeah, Sixteen candles. It’s our day now” Jade took the book bag and walked out of the room, Demetrius watched her from his bedroom window that day. Guilt pooled in his stomach, unknowing to jade, she got herself into the game.

It was like that for two years, every time Demetrius was in gang or legal trouble jade would deliver his things to the buyer, the seller, to whoever. Jade was happy to help her brother, it meant they got to hang out more. And that’s all that really mattered to her, she truly really cared for him. But after awhile, Demetrius stopped needing her help. He stopped coming by, and eventually she rarely saw him. She was lonely in that big house by herself, her mother was too deep in her head and her father was so busy trying to impress his business friends with how beautiful his daughter was.

Jade learned that getting out more was for the better, hanging out with Seven. They even had a thing for each other sophomore year much to his brother’s annoyance. Or, getting high with SSS to even forget everything that burdened her. Now jade hated drugs, she was the goodie two shoes who actually followed the dare pledge. But when she got high that night, she never wanted to come down.

“Holy shit, look at Shante” Sekani giggled seeing the girl pull Seven in for a kiss, his hands couldn’t stay restricted to one place. They went up her hoodie, in her pants for a bit. For a moment she was focused, on him and only him.

Then the high came down and she felt like shit. There were unexplained marks and hickies on her neck and stomach. Seven became clingy and wouldn’t leave her alone. But the very next day, the girl had to do what she’d did best and put on her pretty yellow dress with the bow high on the back. Followed by the mask she always wore and practice so hard in the mirror to make sure it didn’t falter as she prepares to head out with her family to do whatever rich people activities they’d do.

And just like that, that was her life. It was short and sweet, something that people drooled over to have. To me, I could as tell she was a bit miserable. You can always tell, because when the sun shines you can always see the cracks left behind. But that was the beauty of being her, everyone was too blind to see. I wasn’t though, I saw her for her. And I guess that’s why I fell in love…But this isn’t about us anymore. Only her, and the prettiest of sunshine was going to get her wake up call to what such a cruel dark world we really reside in.

[pandemilkbread]

nine days // bakugo katsuki

author’s note: here is the sequel to paubaya! it can be read as a stand alone fic, but it’ll feel better once you read the first one. 

please enjoy ♡ please leave a like or comment if you enjoyed it,, it’ll mean alot aaaaa. also, beware. this is pretty long! 

ʙᴀᴋᴜɢᴏ ᴋᴀᴛsᴜᴋɪ

nine days. (angst!fic) part 1

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: It took eight, just eight days to fall in love with you; and as dense as Bakugo was, it’ll take him a lifetime (or two) to admit it.

i.

The idea of love has always been a difficult subject to comprehend. 

And to a young boy at the tender age of four, whose typical acts of love revolved on beating the crap out of anyone who dared to mess with him (or his friends, though he’d rather not call them that), the subject was more troublesome to speak out loud. 

Which was quite contrary to the Bakugo household persona that radiated pure noise throughout the whole course of the day, a feat their neighbor would love to refute if they were able to.

(how a detached and sound proof home such as theirs could release that much clamor, they hardly knew.)

However as loud as the Bakugos were, it’s a no-brainer to realize how quiet they became in regard to their own feelings. The eccentric family breathed the words “show don’t tell” like a mantra; the essence of touch being the utmost way of showing affection—something Bakugo Katsuki never truly understood until one Saturday afternoon. 

Bakugo loved his quirk. His favorite part? Not one single part, but a bunch load of favorites. 

Blasting shit into smithereens. 

Screams of wow! and cool! from his followers. 

(”the imaginary people in his head, who continually shower him with praise.” not that he’d admit it.)

The sizzle of sweat on his fingers. 

…And exactly everything else that buffed up his currently fragile ego.

The worst part? 

The smell of burnt cloth that followed his usual fits of excitement. 

The lukewarm water plummeting from the ceiling sprinklers.

…Most especially the whack that vibrated through his skull when his mother found out his only son almost managed to burn down the whole kitchen. 

He took it personally, very personally. What happened? An accident!  The All Might segment thrilled him to the point of attempting a somersault, one that he succeeded in doing! Was it his fault a measly floor couldn’t handle his greatness? Yet, how does his crappy mom reward him for this feat— a full throttle to the head. 

“Katsuki,” his father muttered, rousing him from his thoughts. The scent of antiseptic lingered in the air, forcing him to scrunch his nose in disgust. Was he so weak to need a dab of a stupid medical solution to—

“You could have gotten hurt. Don’t be stubborn.” He sighed. “Your mom was very worried.”

Bakugo grunted. ‘A pissy way of showing it!’ He’d retaliate, but the downcast glint in his father’s eyes stopped him. He was clearly worried for his son’s wellbeing. 

“...Could’ve said so.” He sputtered out. (unwillingly, of course.)

“Sometimes you have to look past words to truly understand how someone is feeling, Katsuki.” A small grin perched on Masaru’s face. “People love differently. You just need to spot how.”

ii.

“I like you! Can we please start seeing each other?”

“Hah? Who the fuck are you?”

One tear, two tears, three tears. With that, the girl ran, and down the middle school staircase she went. 

Bakugo hardly understood why he was invited to the rooftop in the first place. No. He knew a confession would take place, that was obvious. All thanks to his fellow female classmates who couldn’t stop gossiping about it. One more ‘oh God! she’s going to confess to Bakugo-san later!’ and he’d burst, literally.

No. He couldn’t grasp the whole idea of confessing your love to a stranger. Bakugo knew nothing of the teary-eyed student, except she was a crybaby. Besides, it irritated him to the point of seething. Why confess your love only to run out halfway when things go sour? 

It wasted his time. Time he could have spent training, studying, doing something important. 

Don’t misunderstand. Bakugo was not a cruel person, he never was. Just one with below par conversational skills. He wanted to know the reasons, not disregard her feelings. He wanted to understand the why’s and what’s of the equation; the basis of what directed her feelings onto him. 

But, he would never accept her proposition, even if she managed to spur out a million reasons. Bakugo never saw himself in a position to love someone, it was too troublesome. Hell, he never understood the whole idea of love itself. 

He scoffed. If he had found himself fancying a person, it would be one akin to himself. 

Someone strong. 

Someone who spoke their mind. 

Someone who could handle him. 

Someone who—

Whack! A shoe smacked him out of his dazed stupor. Apparently, the friends of so-called stranger who shuffled off the rooftop in a crying heap told what transpired. The whole girl squad fashioned themselves into a line meant to reprimand his actions. 

“You could have softened the blow, you know!” One of them hissed. “In a way that wouldn’t hurt her feelings!”

“Yeah. You’re pretty selfish, Bakugo-san. You could have at least tried to hang out before deciding!” Another chided.

The act ignited his anger, leaving him an irked mess. 

Soften the blow? What did they expect him to do? Listen to the confession wholeheartedly, seemingly interested in actually dating the other party? Hell no. Why would he do so? It would only make the rejection hurt more. No matter how you put it a rejection is still a rejection; and a rejection will hurt. 

Selfish? He had done the girl a huge favor. More or less she would finally move on and treat the event as a lesson; focus on someone who had the time for affection. 

Was it his fault for not feeling the same way? Fuck no. He owed them nothing. 

“Don’t wanna. Too much of a hassle.” Bakugo sneered. 

And, oh boy were women scary. Nothing was more terrifying than a group of women who managed to suppress Hell’s fury and rage into their whole being. Hypocrites. Speaking of softening blows when one hit from any single one of them could break bones. 

God. He hated their quirks. 

(scratch that. he hated the sound of his mother’s cackling the most. ‘now what did i tell you about pissing off girls!’ she scolded.)

iii. 

Bakugo was a lot of things: perceptive, intelligent, strong— Hell he could list down a thousand adjectives if he wanted to. But, he was never the observant one. 

Sheer power? He was fucking amazing. 

Keen leadership? Bakugo is your guy!

Socializing skills? …Working on it. But, God yeah!

As perceptive as he was, his ego took a bit of a hit the moment he crashed into her. And as much as he would like to boast it was her fault in the first place, with the stacks of books that perched on her forearms, he knew better than to daze off in the middle of a crowded hallway. 

The books shook in momentum, and in return one hand steadied the massive collection. The blonde Pikachu outwardly reached out preventing the crash, a feat Kaminari would evidently use as a bragging tool later on. 

“Ah, sorry about that! Spiky over here’s in a daze after the math quiz,” Kaminari snickered. 

“Says the cheater who got caught on question one.” Bakugo retorted with an eyeroll to match. 

The other person in question huffed out a breathy laugh, the books shook once again in reaction, forcing her to side step to balance them out. “That’s fine. Sorry for blocking the way too.” The stranger reassured. 

By then, Bakugo’s stomach growled. God was he hungry. He casually followed the flow of people toward the lunch area. A few steps later his blonde companion tapped him on the shoulder, almost frantically. 

“I-I’mma help carry the books to—” Kaminari whipped his head back and forth at him and the other person walking the opposite direction. “So... yeah! Go without me!”   

Bakugo grunted. A non-verbal consent which easily meant “go, I don’t care”, or more likely “bye. i’m fucking hungry”. He couldn’t understand why Kaminari would go that far for someone he barely knew, especially when their whole body was covered by the stacks of books. Suspicious if you asked him. 

The boy was simply unpredictable and troublesome. Nah. He had no time to think about the electrical cord, he wanted to eat. Once he arrived at the dining hall, the other three constituents of his group sat on their usual hangout place. Thankfully (he won’t admit it) the eccentric red head ordered his regular lunch for him, allowing Bakugo to immediately slide into the table. 

“Bahkuwgo! Whersh Kahmiyari?” Pinky blurted, her mouth filled with food. 

His eyebrows furrowed. Where was Pikachu? “Shithead’s busy.” 

Bakugo returned to the matter at hand, his aching stomach, and began chewing. Obviously, the angry porcupine had no time to gossip about the who, what, where, and when’s, hello? Stomach first. His ears on the other hand had no shut-off button, prompting him to listen in the conversation rather irately. 

“I told him to study! Three nights ago! And what happens? He decides to write down the whole syllabus into his hands!” 

Sero sighed. “Mina. He’s helpless and will never learn—”

“Didn’t you copy off him too?” Kirishima chortled. “I saw you look over his answers!”

The black haired boy feigned shock. “Are you assuming I cheated? I thought we were friends!” Seconds of thought later, his eyes widened in real shock. “If you saw me looking... it means you looked too!”

“Bro. I wouldn’t cheat. It’s against my honor—” 

“Oh my God! All three of you are idiots.” Mina gushed. 

“Says the girl who left the whole back page em-empty.” Sero snickered, his palm jabbing his chest to dislodge the food stuck in his throat. 

Kirishima gasped. “There’s a back page? The—”

“Hey! How do you know? You’re seated at the third row! So you’ve really been chea—”

The thwack of a lunch tray interrupted the conversation, an achievement only possible by the fourth idiot of the group. The lightning bolt returned from the alleged errand in a sputtering mess; like he would be when overloaded by his quirk, almost but not quite. 

“Denki! What took you so long? I bet Aizawa-sensei decided to talk some sense into you!” Mina teased, tilting her head in confusion when the blonde suddenly dazed off. 

Bakugo smacked the Kaminari on the forehead, rather lightly. “...Idiot’s broken.”

“No... I met an angel...” The chargebolt mumbled. 

“Here we go again.” Sero shook his head in response. “Who is it this time?”  

“Shush! She’s here!” He hissed. “Bakugo bumped into her earlier. She had these big books—”

“Bro! That’s no way to talk to a girl—” 

“No! Not that! Real books! So, they were heavy and... Yeah. I helped her carry them to Recovery Girl— and yeah!” 

“You’re not making any sense.” Sero advised. 

“Shut up! She might hear us!” Kaminari gawked. “...She’s so pretty...”

Four sets of eyes travelled towards the person the Pikachu was ogling at, a silent agreement among all five of them to be as unsuspecting as possible. Evidently, she was a simple normal high school girl whose smile seemed to radiate glee likely from her co-classmates who sat with her. 

Bakugo surveyed her face, and then onto her gestures and actions. A Goddess? Huh. The girl seemed pretty normal to him, no one special. Kaminari unmistakably gushed over another woman, like he usually did for no reason at all. 

“Where’s she from?” Bakugo asked, rather boredly.

“Ah, yeah! I don’t know.” The lover-boy continued ogling. “...She’s not from the Hero department for sure.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” 

iv. 

Bakugo hated many things; failing tests (he’s too smart to fail), winning without actual merit, God he despises losing even more, Deku (he doesn’t actually, too prideful to oppose it though), nagging— He hates Aizawa’s nagging the most. 

It must have something to do with the nonchalant tone, more like dead and spiritless if you asked him, the all knowing attitude, the deep timbre of ‘Bakugo. Fix that up. If I find out you’ve been bleeding all over the floor. Good luck.’, the threatening staring contest thereafter, and the resolution: him walking furiously to the nurses’ office. 

He groaned. It was a tiny scratch. Maybe a bruise, or two. The gash on his temple stung, not just physically. The reason why he was cut in the first place was all because of shitty Pikachu blabbing about his fucking angel. If he said “You’re just jeaaaalous” one more time, he would explode. 

Bakugo warned him. Multiple times. Kirishima could vouch it. But, no. Bolty decided to repeat the phrase manifold of times, leading him to screech a “shut the fuck up!”, causing Pinky to scream, in succession scared Shitty Hair forcing him to activate his quirk—

Fuck that. In short, it was all thanks to the living and breathing phone charger. 

Bakugo gripped the clinic door and slammed it open. The quicker he found Recovery Girl the quicker he returned to class and beat the shit out of Pikachu. Yeah. He’d do that, but instead he found her. 

For fucks sake. The indirect reason why he was in this state. 

He marched toward the desk, dragging his feet in a somewhat stomping manner. The way she blankly stared irritated him more. Was she just going to stare? Bakugo rolled his eyes. Did she think he was pathetic to come in for a slight scratch?

He had no choice. Not his fucking choice. 

“What the fuck are you looking at?” 

Finally. The girl roused from her state of daze and stood up. Now all he needed to do was ask— nah, he’d wait for the head nurse himself. 

The other person in the room darted her eyes to him and a clock on the wall almost quizzically, as if she was contemplating what to do. With that, she spun around and faced him. 

“She’s not here. Bear with it for a sec, let me get something to help.” She mumbled. 

Oh? The girl wasn’t a bystander after all. She reached for a small kit inside a cabinet in the wall. Her hands then beckoned to a chair and it was his cue to sit down. 

This gave him ample time to observe the woman who’s been driving him nuts. Through the oddball Kaminari of course. 

First of all, she was no goddess. Looked more like an enraged chipmunk on Christmas morning. Her cheeks puffed up in concentration, dabbing antiseptic on his temple. How Kaminari fell for her, he had no idea. Not surprising though, he’d fall for the whole female populace if he had the time for it. 

Second, why the fuck would he be jealous! What was there to be jealous about? Pikachu should be the envious one. The girl he fawned for happened to be the same woman in charge of cleaning his wounds. No. Not wounds. Scratches. Stupid scratches. Her eyes glazed in utter focus at the task of hand, this beat Kaminari’s “watching habits” any day. 

Hell, he was a tad excited. Using this incident as a tool to finally make the idiot shut up. The imminent power he’d have over the crappy blonde. He would bring it up on every occasion possible, well— not every one. Bakugo did have mercy for the goofball. So, maybe five times a week. Almost enough to make up for all the weeks of his bantering. 

Third, he thought, wouldn’t it be better if he introduced you to Kaminari instead? Yeah, he barely knew you. Even so, it was worth a shot. Maybe referring you to the Pikachu would be better in the long run. Maybe, the experience could humble him. Bakugo shook his head. No. Even if he managed to coerce you into meeting Bolty, there was no guarantee you’d actually like him. 

Then there was the impending heartbreak and sobbing and whining and complaining. Nevermind. He’d go through so much shit for a tiny bit of satisfaction. Scratch that. 

Anyway, what was so great about you? You weren’t from the hero course. Obviously. Bakugo knew most of the students from that department. Although he couldn’t remember names, faces seemed to pop up in his mind. You didn’t have an awesome quirk. Hell, if you did, he recalled no one who looked like you from the sports festival. Business department? He assumed people like them don’t intern for the clinic. General department then? 

Bakugo growled. Why was he trying to understand you? You were nothing to him. A simple stranger who crossed paths with first time, and highly for the last time once the whole ordeal was over. God. He’ll kill Kaminari for this. 

At that instant, Bakugo felt repetitive pressure on head. It took him a few seconds to realize she patted him. Like a kid!? Fuck no. His ego couldn’t take her treating him as a child. A small vein popped on his forehead and when he was about to berate her for her actions, apparently she spoke first. 

“Good boy, you can leave now.” With. A. Matching. Grin.

Fuck no. This was worse. You didn’t treat him as a child, he was a pet to you! A pet? Why a pet!? He wanted to wipe that dumb smile off your face. You were exactly more annoying than Pikachu ever was! 

Her cheeks flooded pink from the small laugh she released.  Bakugo’s eyes hovered over to yours and one though popped up: cute. 

What. The. Actual. Fuck. 

Imaginary steam evaporated from the top of his head. Cute? Cute! Gross. The woman in front of him wasn’t cute. She was fucking annoying. He bet his mind spelled u.g.l.y wrong. The scratch on his head fucked up his intellect. 

Bakugo immediately stood up, pointing an accusing finger at her. “What’dya call me, ugly!?”

v. 

Anyone who thought Bakugo was the type of person to run away from a fight would be met with the indignant monster himself, threatening the offender with fury akin to the devil.  

It’ll take a million years before Bakugo willingly scampered off the battlefield without dealing a punch (or two). 

However it would take longer for him to admit he was running away from you. No. He wasn’t ‘running’ per se, he was observing the situation. The whole clinic event left him irked and in a sense, intrigued. 

Now that he thought about it, anyone who met his “angry” side were prone to either a. running; b. crying; c. anger; and d. all of the above; and in rare cases: e. laughing. He assumed anyone who laughed at him after his usual feats of anger were the real creepy ones— or idiots reincarnate. 

The moment he knew of her existence, he found himself noticing her more and more. He remembered specs of her daily routine from mere perception, something he hated he did, yet couldn’t stop. 

She hated tomatoes, he gathered from a passing conversation on the way to the lunch room. 

She hated snakes even more. Something to do with a childhood fear that forced her to go to the hospital. 

She loved reading, he presumed with all the books she had on the top of the desk in the library. 

As much as it irritated him to realize she took up a part of his thoughts (a big part, really), it pisses him off further when she spotted him looking at her as well. That led her to offer him a smile, sometimes a nose scrunch, other days furrowed eyebrows in confusion, but most of the time you never noticed the blonde hero student glancing at your direction. 

Well, that’s fine with him. More time to speculate the shitty woman who managed to take up his time. 

She took the courage to approach him one day. Bakugo knew she headed to his table in the library. So what does he do the moment her eyes met his in an attempt to introduce herself? Run. He fucking runs. 

An accomplishment that only happened when the world split into two. 

Yet, here were are on Day Four: Bakugo Ignores Gen. Girl to Restore His Self-Esteem. Part one of the “he was caught looking multiple times and almost confronted” franchise. This happened for quite a while, pretty easy actually. Both of your schedules never met, the only times he caught a whip of your existence were in the library (your humble abode) and the clinic (your humble abode part two). 

Obviously, he avoided both places like the plague. 

His plan worked for a while. 

(for the first five days, honestly.)

Bakugo’s broke his streak one lunch afternoon. He caught her eye the exact moment she looked at his, inciting a silent battle of leering. She grinned set out to stir his anger and he glared right back. The fight lasted for minutes neither parties admitting defeat, earning the attention of his fellow lunchmates. 

“Bakugo? Could you teach me this later?” Mina pleaded. “If I fail one more quiz I’d be dumber than Denki!” 

“Hey! I studied this time. I bet I might get a higher score than Midoriya this time!” Kaminari disagreed, flicking the girl’s forehead. 

“Finish eating already. We might be late again...” Sero sighed. “God. Aizawa-sensei gives me the chills...”

The red head of the group noticed Bakugo’s full tray and focused glare first. Kirishima lightly tapped the blonde, earning a grunt in response. Kirishima’s eyes then followed his line of sight to see the girl Kaminari has been talking about nonstop, and stop he did weeks ago. 

“Ah. You know her, Bakugo?” Kirishima whispered. “You might... with that staring contest going on between you.”

“No. I don’t.” Bakugo scowled, in concentration. 

Sero, who was in close proximity, heard the short discussion and pulled the other blonde by the ear. “Yo, Denki. Isn’t that Goddess #18?” 

“Ah!” Denki immediately covered his ears. “Stop! Can’t handle it! Don’t even mention her anymore— Bakugo ruined the whole experience! Remember Goddess #20? Yes. I’mma stick with her.”

“Woah... Bakugo that’s one intense stare you have. Don’t tell me... you’re dating her!” Mina gushed. “Denki you never stood a chance!” She laughed. 

“Who would like that— ugly!” Bakugo chided. 

“No wonder you hated it. You were reaaaally jealous, huh?” The Pikachu sang. “It’s fine with me. You have my permission.” 

Bakugo fumed. “I don’t need your permission to do anything!” 

Kirishima blinked. “Oh, you were serious, bro? You do like her?” 

“You’re all fucking annoying! Shut the fuck up!” 

Sero grinned, a wide cheshire smile. “You know what this means? Time to meet the princess who stunned the angry dragon.” He stood up. 

Mina understood the signal and followed suit. “Watch Bakugo for us, Kiri! We’re going to— Denki. You’re coming too.” She pulled the latter by the arm, dragging him unwillingly. 

“I don’t wanna!” Kaminari cried. 

“Hurry up. She could have pretty friends—”

“Ah? Let’s go.” The blonde picked up his weight and dashed. 

The remaining two students sat in silence. Bakugo groaned in frustration. He’s going to kill all four of them. Maybe a slower death for Spiky Hair since he called their attention in the first place. Bakugo smacked his head on the table. 

For fucks sake. Out of all the times they had to notice, why now? God. He hated his friends. 

Kirishima patted his back, gently. He did not want to enrage the irritated Bakugo even further. “There’s no harm in meeting someone new, right? Think of it as a — fun experience.”

Fun, alright. Bakugo was going to have fun beating his friends up. 

(says the angry pomeranian who heeded, and plomped down on the seat next to the stranger— not so unfamiliar anymore, almost happily. well, in his own way.)

vi. 

You and Bakugo were polar opposites; the duo that clashed every second possible. 

Believe it or not, the slightest of jabs ignited an argument so intense that calling the fire department would be justifiable. 

(alright. this may sound over dramatic. but, hey. it came from kaminari himself. dramatics beget drama.)

One argument in particular stood out among the rest. It started little, truly. A small squabble, really. 

Bakugo preferred sweets, she hated them. 

He liked mathematics, she detested the subject.

He thrived with attention, she favored staying in the sidelines. 

He loved the winter, she wished for summer. 

And one phrase led to another, one plain phrase led to an even more painful prick, and in conclusion—

“You’re quirkless. Stop complaining.”

happened. 

Bakugo never meant for the remark to hurt your feelings. It was a smooth attempt to disguise his embarrassment; you begged to hold his hand. Utterances of ‘we’re friends!’ and ‘don’t be shy!’ irked him. How the fuck was it possible to stay calm when the simplest brush of your hand against his, sent him into a frenzy?

Safety. He rebutted. It was for your safety. As much as he’d like to hold your hand with his—

(he’d die before admitting it, though.)

that quirk of his, stopped him. Sweat triggered his quirk. The very instance of the substance forming in his hands could cause an explosion. He doubted you’d be thankful spending Christmas in a hospital, your parents resorting to call a lawsuit. 

Was warmth a suitable reason to lose an arm? Hell no. Bakugo knew you hated winter, and all sorts of cold weather. Yet, he’s not stupid enough to risk your safety for something so... immaterial. 

Her words of ‘you’re selfish, Bakugo!’ prickled his skin. It was an innocent jab, he knew it was a joke. Still, if you haven’t understood the way his quirk worked. He thought it would be better for you to learn the hard way. 

And bingo. Bakugo said it. 

“You’re quirkless. Stop complaining.” 

Little did he know those words impacted his companion harsher than he initially thought. 

A small forced laugh came from your lips, compelling you to step sideward. An attempt to move yourself farther from him. “We should hurry up. I don’t think they’d like cold pizza.” 

Bakugo nodded, unconsciously watching your every move. He understood the topic of your quirklessness was taboo. A sort of innermost disappointment, and the focus of childhood bullying. He should have phrased it in a better way... a small part of him thought maybe, you wouldn’t get hurt, a way to attest your friendship. 

He grunted. His mom would kill him if she found out it was his fault. And knowing the woman’s personality, he preferred not being chewed out in front of his schoolmates. With a sigh, Bakugo unshuffled his muffler and wrapped it around his female buddy. 

“Next time, wear something thicker. I won’t always be here to save your ass.”

Her eyes blinked in succession. Her eyebrows furrowed after. Roughly, comprehending his actions. 

She beamed. “Oh? Is little Bakugo apologizing?” Her fingers twisted the pizza box, forcing it onto his hands. “Then carry this ‘oh holy’ one. I might forgive you then.”

“Fine. Crappy woman.” Bakugo grumbled, tugging her forward by pulling his muffler. “Hurry. I’m hungry.”

By 5:30 P.M., the pizza deliverers (Bakugo and her, the idiots who lost at rock, paper, scissors) arrived at the Bakugo household with the food. The appearance of the two prompted cheers and yells from Mina, Kaminari, and Sero who huddled on the couch. 

“What took you so long? Imagine listening to Denki sing the karaoke for hours!” Mina whined. 

Sero jested. “Next time, we forget inviting him. This early Christmas celebration can carry itself without his presence.”

“Get the fucking pizza yourself then! Stupid crowds hogging the whole pizza place...” Bakugo threw the box at the group, instantaneously, marching towards Kirishima.  

“Bakugo! B-Becareful!” Kaminari worried. “If it’s destroyed... you... get a new one!”

Heh. Like the expensive meal couldn’t handle a bit of force. Bakugo stomped towards the redhead and took a soda from the table nearest to him. 

Kirishima rose his eyebrows. “So. Had fun?” He elicited an all-knowing grin. “I think you did.”

“Shut up!” Bakugo hissed, eyes wandering to the bundle of people on the couch. 

“You know, you’re too obvious.” He laughed. “Well, except for one of us. That one has no idea.”

“I don’t fucking know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t? Or you’re pretending not to?”

“Ugly’s a friend!” 

Kirishima hummed. “Alright, bro. I won’t pressure you into talking about it.”

A loud pop interrupted their conversation. Kaminari opened a fizzed up can of cola, the drink sprouted into Mina’s face. “I’m going to kill—”

“But, If you want something to happen though. You have to learn to speak up, Bakugo.”

vii.

“Come on, Bakugo! Just this once, please!” Mina begged. “It’ll be great for everyone! Don’t you feel sorry for Denki... He’s been cramming for days!”

“That’s what the gets for playing the whole weekend.”

“Please! I promise we’ll make it up to you!” 

“No. Too much of a hassle.”

“C’mon... Princess, help?” The pink haired student gestured to the other girl in the group. 

You sighed. “Mina, he doesn’t want to do it.”

“See, ugly agrees!”

“...Oh, wait. On the other hand, Bakugo’s too busy to teach. Mina, try asking Midoriya to help.” Her eyes met his in a stare off. “He’s got the time, especially when he’s so busy himself.”

She knew using his rival’s name as a bargaining chip kindled his anger. It was his fault for calling her such an offensive nickname in the first place. 

“Might let Pikachu teach you math too. You’re dumber at it than he is.”

“Oh? I should let him. He’s better at teaching than you are!”

Mina glanced back and forth between the two parties. A silent ‘oh boy, this will not end well.’ featured on her face. Pinky shook her head, and placed a hand on Bakugo’s shoulder. 

“It’s fine! Stop arguing, really.” Mina murmured. 

“No. She started it.”

“Don’t be a child, Bakugo! …Oh, you scared?” Ugly taunted. “I might beat your score in math.”

“Hah? You, the flunk? Fine. I’ll teach the shitty subject.” Bakugo grinned. “Any score lower than mine means you owe me one.”

And she gulped, anxiously. 

This became the humble beginnings of how Bakugo became the professor of the study group, ultimately leading to her doom. He was excited. Oh, what shit he’d make her do in retaliation. 

He agreed on the following terms: library after classes, subjects will be appointed beforehand, anyone skipping must be told in advance... and fifty other rules so on and so forth. 

And on the third week of the so-called cramming agenda, four of his classmates decided not to attend, leaving him and ugly as the remaining participants. The whole point of the activity was to teach the idiots, if they don’t show up why was he here?

Bakugo scanned through the math test he gave his companion. First, she was no idiot. There were hardly any errors, if there was, he presumed it was her faulty writing and adding. Solutions were well done, the logic was there. The problem? Yes. The idiot forgot her calculator. 

He clicked his tongue. The assumption was apparent, the whole back page had scribbles of numbers, divides, and all the shit. Why the hell did she not have a calculator? Forgetful one she was. 

And second, why the fuck was she dozing off? Sure, mathematics was a boring subject. Sure, he was a boring teacher. Sure, he was teaching them to pass the subject. They should all be grateful for his fucking effort. 

The hues of the sunset danced on her skin, the reds and oranges bounced on her hair radiating a wave of light. Her head perched on her crossed arms on the table, the head leaning slightly right. He saw the dark pigments below her eyes. 

Must have been studying hard, huh? Bakugo knew the girl was on a scholarship. It’s been discussed millions of times. He realized the pressure must have gotten to her, especially being one of the only quirkless students in the school. Seemingly, all she had to offer was her bright intellect. 

(not all. she was way better than most of the students in the whole department! bakugo punched anyone who thought otherwise.)

“...Do you like someone?” She muttered. 

What? In a split second, he focused his eyes on the girl in front of him. She stayed in the same sleepy position as earlier, convincing him she might have been talking in her sleep. Shaking his head, he returned back to the papers in his hands. 

Minutes later a sudden tap on the table prompted him to look at his companion. Her eyes gazed at him with such intensity, his stomach jumped. Somersaults, loops, rollercoasters. God. This only happened after a punch to the gut in battle. The woman was supposed to be asleep! What the fuck was she doing awake. 

Oh. So, she did ask the question. Was he supposed to answer? Silence is an answer. Knowing the girl, any answer he’d give sired more questions. God. He wanted to leave. What was the shittiest answer he could give her. Yeah.

“...Shut up, extra.” 

Perfect. Now back to the question at hand. What kind of fucked up person willingly confesses ‘You. Stupid. I like you.’ without proof the other party felt the same? It was simply a formula to fail. 

Hold. 

The. 

Fuck. 

Up. 

Did he really think he liked her? No. Brain thought wrong. Brain really thought fucking wrong. Just because he hated it when she focused on people who weren’t him doesn’t mean he likes her. Just because he’d break someone’s face for talking shit about her doesn’t mean he cares like that. Just because every retort she said in retribution turned him on doesn’t mean he wanted to kiss her. 

Fuck. He wanted to kiss her. 

Kiss her badly. 

He wanted to grab her by the collar and just kiss her. 

God. He hated it. 

The girl abruptly reached for his collar, pulling him towards her. “Who is it?” She whispered. 

Oh fuck. The cogs in his brain twisted and turned. Did he say it out loud? Did he fucking say that out loud? What the fuck was he doing? Who is it? What the fuck were you talking about? 

Who is it? Who was who? He hated cryptic messages. His eyes searched for meaning on your features. A person? Who?

Ah. You asked who he liked. 

Great. What was he supposed to say? It’s you, ugly! Wake up! He’d burn in hell before speaking up. 

One name popped up. Miruko’s agency. Rumi. The woman he was interning for. Like crap she’d find out about it. 

“Rumi, her name’s Rumi.”

viii.

12:00 P.M.

bakugo: i’m hungry

bakugo: bring ur snacks

12:50 P.M.

bakugo: u not gonna eat huh?

bakugo: suit urself brat

3:00 P.M. 

bakugo: think u gonna win the bet now aren’t ya

bakugo: keep ignoring me maggot

bakugo: fine

5:00 P.M. 

bakugo: spiky hair said to come 

bakugo: he has shitty fish crackers for food

bakugo: the fuck??????

bakugo: you ignore me and answer his calls?????

Bakugo was not an avid texter. Most of his messages consisted of ‘ok’, ‘nice’, ‘no’, curses, other single word messages, sometimes barely a reply at all. The sheer amount of effort he put into texting you proved otherwise. Yet...

Read. Read. Read. 

All of his messages sent to you were on read. What he fuck was going on? For five days, she’s been missing in action. He tried everything. 

Inviting the woman to lunch. Ignored.

Reminding her of the cram session. Bailed. 

Snacks! You loved snacks! Ignored again. 

Bakugo was this close to shoving you up against the wall and forcing the shit out of you. What did he do so wrong? Oh, was it the kiss thing? Did he say it out loud? Your face showed no clear answer at the time. Your deadpan expression irritated him. 

What if he wanted to kiss you? Was that shit so bad?

That had to be it. 

You weren’t ignoring Spiky hair, Pikachu, Duct Tape, and Pinky— then it had something to do with him. 

He grunted. Swiping the contacts on his phone, he hovered over the one named ‘Ugly’ and tapped it. Bakugo disabled the block function. 

If you weren’t talking to him, fine, he won’t fucking talk to you. 

(yes. he was that petty.)

Streams of notifications buzzed. All of them coming from you. 

Ugly: 6 P.M.

Ugly: Outside 3-A. 

Ugly: Don’t be late.

Ugly: stupid.

Fucking finally. The woman finally decided to text back. 

A meeting place? For what?

The exams were over. A celebration party then. No. Why was the location at 3A then? Oh. The bet. She wanted to compare answers for the shitty bet. 

Bakugo flicked his phone on. 6:25 P.M. 

Amazing. He was fucking late. 

The distance from the faculty room and the third year homerooms were near. It took him no time at all to stomp all the way to the designated meeting spot. Why you couldn’t have texted the shit down, he hadn’t understood. 

Bakugo sported a look of annoyance the moment he found you. Shitty woman. 

“You finally decide to text me back, shithead.” He cursed. 

The girl fashioned an amused expression. “Hm. You missed me?”

Of, course he did. How crappy of you to fill his thoughts of only you, annoy him ‘til worlds end, only for him to be forgotten and ignored. Like a thrown away puppy on the sidewalk. 

“Who would miss you, ugly.” He fumed. 

Yeah. That’s what you get for pretending he didn’t exist. You can’t leave him begging for your attention, that was something shitty fan girls did. And she stood there feigning ignorance of the whole ordeal. He bet she never even noticed he blocked her. 

She erupted in giggles, clutching her stomach as the stronghold. “I’m sorry. The exams were really difficult.”

You bet they were terrible. They had the same general education syllabus, except for major hero subjects and courses. The outright tears Pikachu shed after the math exam proved its difficulty. Bakugo bet she cried after the exam as well. 

Might figure out the task he would make her do. Something embarrassing? No. He wasn’t that cruel. A weird prank? What prank though—

“I missed you too, Katsuki.” She consoled. 

Of, course you did. Who wouldn’t miss him? The dweeb better be thankful he blessed the his friendship onto her. 

(though, he’d like a little bit more than that.)

Hah! Bakugo could force her to buy him a new muffler. The one he had disappeared (into her closet) and wanted a new one. 

Katsuki. 

Katsuki. Katsuki.

Fuck. She called him by his first name. And he only noticed it— now? Gears and cogs twirled within his consciousness. What did it mean? What did that mean? God. He hated it. Was that your way of showing your love? Did that love mean affection as relationship or love as friendship?

Fuck. He couldn’t tell. 

Yet, he knew one thing. 

He wanted to kiss you so bad. 

The snickers and giggles from the people outside the room stopped him though. His shithead friends managed to ruin it, yet again. 

Heh. Maybe next time. 

Love has always been a difficult subject to comprehend, and for Bakugo whose typical acts of love revolved around teasing, and riling you up, the subject was more troublesome to speak out loud. 

However, you were worth the trouble. 

Now, you just needed to spot how. 

[ratingtheframe]

Why Armie Hammer’s Scandal Is More Than Kink Shaming

The 34 year old actor has had numerous allegations thrown his way this past month, from cannibalism to an obsession with BDSM. But do these allegations go beyond a widely accepted community of kink lovers and venture into deeply rooted misogyny?

Warning: this article contains mentions of cannibalism and sexual assault. 

For those of you who aren’t aware of Armie Hammer’s presence on screen, you may be scratching your head and wondering what on earth people are talking about, seeing the cannibalism aspect to this all as face value without making the connection between Hammer’s past behaviours and current allegations. The actor who rose to prominence in Aaron Sorkin and David Fincher’s The Social Network (2013) playing both of the Winklevoss twins, has become quite the favourite amongst the film industry. His role Oliver in Luca Guadagnino’s Call me by your name (2017) has sent Twitter into a permanent frenzy as memes and daily adoration for Chalamet and Hammer’s on screen romance continue to thrive even 4 years after the film's release. As well as Call me your name, Hammer is known for roles in Sorry to Bother You (2018), Rebecca (2020), On the Basis of Sex (2018) and soon to be released, Death on The Nile (2021). He currently has another film due to be released and a Call me by your name sequel in development. Sounds as if he’s got a lot going for him and despite him not being the biggest star to be churned out of Hollywood today, the recognition is still there and with that, he’s still being paid. 

The Allegations

At the beginning of the year, an account emerged under the handle of @houseofeffie, that was created to expose some lurid and unpleasant communication between several women and Armie Hammer. Some of which he had relations with whilst married to his now ex wife Elizabeth Chambers. The nature of these dms are incredibly disturbing and worrying considering that Hammer not only has children but as an actor, spends a proportionate time around women.

These are just a few of the messages that were exposed that led the media to brandish Hammer as a “cannibal”:

Hammer:

 “You are the god damned standard I hold women to in terms of kink and enjoyment of fucking the[n]...”

“I need to drink your blood, why the distance?” “...thinking of holding your heart in my head and controlling when it beats”

“I am 100% a cannibal...I want to eat you....Fuck...that’s scary to admit..”

“I’ve cut the heart out of a living animal before and eaten it while still warm”

“You were the most intense and extreme version [that I’ve ever had]. Raping you on the floor with a knife against you. Everything else seemed boring”

“You [were] crying and screaming, me standing over you.  I felt like a god. I’ve never felt such power or intensity.”

“You just live to obey and be my slave”

“Would you come and be my property till you die? If I wanted to cut off one of your toes and keep it with me in my pocket so I always had a piece of you in my possession?”

“I want to see your brain, your blood, your organs, every part of you… I would definitely bite it...100%”

...O-kay. Lots to unpack here. First and fore mostly, I’d like to address the kink shaming element to all of this. I personally don’t see any harm in kinks, BDSM, pornography, as long as people are consenting and aren’t inflicting unsolicited pain upon people. Therefore, kink shaming and finding Hammer’s taste in sexual preferences isn’t what we are here to discuss. In fact when I first read the allegations, that wasn’t even my initially thought. CNN posted an article two days ago titled “Armie Hammer May Be Disturbed, But Is Shaming Him the Answer?” an opinion based article by Aaron Weaver that explores the allegations and believes Hammer shouldn’t be shamed for his kinks. But this begs the question whether Hammer was actually being shamed? I didn’t see much evidence for this seeing as people were mostly horrified by his taste in human flesh than anything else, a kink that is uncommon in the BDSM community and is only practiced by the most extreme. 

Kinks aside, the most worrying thing about the DMs above is the way in which he views women and their bodies. It’s clear to see that he might not have much respect for women seeing as he proudly states his willingness to cut them up and drink their blood. And funnily enough, the sexual objectification of women’s bodies for one's own sexual pleasure without considering their comfortability is classed as misogyny. A reddit user made an extremely good point on a thread about Hammer’s scandal stating:

“To me, the problem is not that he’s into rough sex, or that he has kinks some people find scary. It’s not about yucking his yum, so to speak. I’m more concerned that he may have ignored safe words and pushed his partners beyond their limits. I feel like the media is focusing so much on his kinks and sexuality as opposed to his ignoring of consent, which is a complete and utter inversion of priorities”

Past Relationships

Another example of Hammer disrespecting the boundaries of women and sexual pleasure would be his past girlfriend Paige Lorenze. Lorenze is a 23 year model and former professional skier who has shone a light on Hammer’s worrying behaviour and his involvement in BDSM activity. The sources of Lorenze’s allegations are highly unreliable, which is one of the most frustrating things about this entire charade. The BBC BRIEFLY covered the fact that Hammer dropped out of his latest film amid the allegations, without fully going into detail about the allegations or the abuse subjected towards his former partners. It just goes to show we’re rubbish at taking abuse seriously enough to the point where people are punished for their wrongdoings. Had a more reliable news source covered this story, then it’d make it more viable to the public. Even though this scandal is in its early days, that doesn’t necessarily mean it's unimportant or should be swept under the rug along with the hundreds of other scandals that Hollywood refuses to expose.

Only the Daily Mail, The Sun and Page Six seem to have gone in depth with the accusations, making the entire story rather murky for the reader. Anyhow, Paige Lorenze said to the Daily Mail that Hammer had carved an ‘A’ above her groin without her consent and licked it whilst it bled. He had also reportedly tied her up and hit her with paddles to fuel his BDSM obsession and sexual desires. Lorenze was quoted saying 'Any man who is fantasizing about crushing bones, eating them, having sex with female limp bodies is a danger to all women'. Hammer insisted to Lorenze that his behaviour was normal, and that there was an entire community of people that carried out the same things he did on her. This is partially correct seeing as the global sex play market is worth over $30 billion, with practices in such activities dating back to the mid 19th century. However, the one thing the BDSM community doesn’t condone is not giving consent, which is where the fine line is drawn in between Hammer’s sexual preferences and the BDSM community. His choice to carve that ‘A’ into Lorenze isn’t backed up by a wider community of people who enjoy a variety of sexual pleasure. Lorenze claims he also DMed nude photos of her being tied up to people without her consent, further perpetuating Hammer’s lack of respect towards people’s boundaries. This is a serious incident, that sees someone with more power (Hammer is 6’5 and Lorenze is 5’6 btw) assert their dominance and by doing so, degrades and harms someone else. We shouldn’t be kink shaming Hammer, but shaming him for thinking that this behaviour is acceptable.

Hammer’s previous relationships can also draw some light into his lack of respect for women. He and his wife Elizabeth Chambers divorced in July 2020 after a decade of marriage. Though it's unknown what triggered the separation, these recent allegations may have something to do with it. Furthermore, two other women have come forward to express their distaste towards Hammer and his questionable fantasies. Entrepreneur and ex-girlfriend of Armie Hammer, Courtney Vucekovich, told Page Six that Hammer wanted to “break [her] rib and barbecue it and eat it”. She also expressed how easy it was for Hammer to charm his way through into getting women, especially young women into doing what he wants through “active manipulation and making you feel like he’s never felt this way about anybody.” Lorenze was also subjected to similar retort after reporting that Hammer too wanted to barbecue one of her ribs because she “didn’t need it”. Writer Jessica Ciencen Henriquez took to twitter last summer after a lunch date with Hammer and expressed that she had blocked him on Instagram. She later went on to tweet this:

“If you are still questioning whether or not those Armie Hammer DMs are real (and they are) maybe you should start questioning why we live in a culture willing to give abusers the benefit of the doubt instead of victims”

Exactly my point here. There’s not much to this scandal other than the fact that several people were hurt and undermined and someone else caused it. Someone who is societally above everyone because of their race, class, status and gender, with a well connected and dominant family support system. 

His background and past 

Hammer comes from a very powerful and wealthy family. Hammer’s great grandfather, Armand Hammer, was the chief executive officer and president of the Occidental Petroleum company founded in 1920. Now if you’re wondering the exact scale of such a company that is still running today, they are the 4th largest oil and gas acquisition in the entire world worth over $100 billion. ONE HUNDRED, BILLION, DOLLARS. Not all actors in Hollywood can say that their great-grandfathers were worth that much, which gives me little hope in seeing Hammer be held accountable for what he’s done. He was also kicked out of UCLA after apparently not “being able to do it”.  Just another rich white male with enough power, malice and money to work his way around any struggle.

Now that we’ve established Hammer’s allegations, it’s worth looking back to see whether the signs of such behaviour were already prevalent in the numerous interviews he partook in over the years. Complex highlighted an episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert from 2017, where the host brought up Hammer’s obsession with knots, to which he laughed off and claimed that “knots make sense” that they are a “language” and referenced how man used knots before the wheel. Valid points but ones that are debunked in light of his interest in BDSM. during a 2013 interview with Playboy (appropriate) Hammer expressed that his “sexual appetites changed'' when he married his wife and that hair pulling used to be something he enjoyed but could no longer do now that he was married “even though he wanted to”. This is quite the backwards comment when we’re talking about respecting boundaries and it's clear to see it was only a matter of time before his desires could no longer be repressed.

Since this whole shit storm began to travel Hammer’s way, he has since dropped out of the film The Billion Dollar Spy, which would’ve seen him star alongside Jennifer Lopez. BBC News reported that this move was made as Hammer stated that “I cannot in good conscience now leave my children for four months to shoot a film in the Dominican Republic” following the ‘vicious’ online abuse he’s been subjected to. Hammer was again put in the firing line by Grand Cayman law enforcement for lying about a woman provocatively shown in a video was Miss Cayman of the Miss Cayman beauty pageant that’s held on the island. He and the woman were warned for their misconduct and had confirmed the matter is now closed. 

Final Thoughts

There are enough red flags in Hammer’s behaviour to open up a flag store, and I would go as far as to say that this isn’t the end of it. For someone who’s grown up having the majority of things they want, it's easy to want more beyond morality and despite the discomfort of others. Hammer’s move to drop out of his latest film was an attempt to lessen the blow of hate being turned towards him as opposed to the benefit of those he’s hurt. So far, him and his lawyer have denied all allegations and further action hasn’t been taken against the Hollywood star. He’s apologised for the DMs and brandished his actions a “foolish attempt at humour”. 

Wrapping his own behaviour up in humour is an attempt to detract from the severity of the behaviour itself, whilst excusing it, something he can get away with because of his status. 

Major media outlets haven’t done much in even attempting to expose this man’s behaviour and have left it up to unreliable sources to piece together the true persona of Armie Hammer. Though innocent until proven guilty, common sense is widely available to the general public meaning we should be delving into the past a little and comparing it to these allegations. Along with Hammer’s character, family and unnerving Instagram posts of cutting up meat and eating raw steak, there doesn’t seem to be much in the actor’s favour. 

All I would say is as a director, producer, writer or actor, would you feel comfortable in being associated with someone who believes they're a cannibal and marvels at the idea of drinking human blood? Or someone who goes as far to objectify women to the point where they become nothing but sexual fulfilment and pieces of meat? 

That’s all I’ll say and those who do feel comfortable doing such a thing means that Hammer may still have a career at the end of the day. One point to Hollywood, no points to political correctness and respecting women. 

[onisiondrama]

Crows Of Judgement Onision Interview Part 3

January 18, 2021

James says the doc will show tweets and write "actual tweet" under it, but show no proof of the original. James says the belly photos they showed of Kai were from his Instagram. He says there is a question of if they were even sent or if they were taken from Instagram. Someone says documentaries use deception.

James asks if they think it's weird it's been a year and the FBI and police never talked to him? The host says no because he thinks James knows exactly what the laws are where he lives. Host says the documentary doesn't establish anything close to criminal behavior and they admit the laws aren't caught up to the internet and James didn't do anything he could be prosecuted for. James asks if the laws were modern, what would he be prosecuted for?

James asks why do they call him a predator? He says it's life destroying when the Pierce County sheriff says he's a predator. Someone says the sheriff also said they were looking for real witnesses and victims. James says the sheriff called Sarah, Shiloh, all those people not real victims. (Their department didn't have contact with any of them when he said that.)

James says the contract they tried to get him to sign releases him of any way to sue them. He says they wanted him to sign so they could say whatever they want about him. Someone says Edwin had to sign a similar contract. James says that's cool if they got the same contract because that would mean it was less malicious.

The host asks how many women have accusations against James? James says 4 or 5 women accused him of being emotionally abusive. He says zero women accused him of beating them, sexual harassment, rape, sexual assault, an actual crime. James says they accused him because he kicked them out of his life. He asks them to name a single person who accused him who he didn't kick out of his life. The host asks if they could be mad at him for the way he treated them? James says he's mad at Billie for the way she treated him. The host asks again and James says anyone can be mad at someone for how they treated them if they want to perceive it a certain way.

James asks why did the majority of women accusing of him not go on the documentary? The host asks why didn't James go on the documentary? James says because they wanted him to sign away all his rights so he couldn't sue them. The host is talked over by James, but I think he's saying the women could have not gone on for the same reason.

James said the goal of the documentary was obvious, praising Chris Hansen and Steven Asarch. He says it was executive produced by Steven, who he doesn't trust. He says Steven argued with him about where he was during 9/11 and still keeps up a slanderous article about him. James asks why Edwin was on the documentary when he doesn't like Shiloh? He says Shiloh said she was going to kill herself in relation to him. Says Edwin thinks Shiloh is a liar and doesn't like Chris Hansen.

Someone asked if James has any regrets? He says when Sarah told them her mom beats they helped her out. He says she admitted they kept her away from drugs, hard situations at home, and illegal activity. She shits on them anyway. He says his biggest regret was not being able to see those people coming and avoid them.

James says he is in the process of seeking legal action against a certain person. He says it's hard because lawyers don't want bad Yelp reviews. The host says lawyers like money. James says he doesn't have a lot of money or income. He's trying to get a lawyer to be interested, but it's controversial.

Someone asks if James can see why people have a horrible opinion of him of Youtube. James says he had no idea what people were saying because he didn't watch 99% of hate videos. He would keep to himself in his Discord server. He says he doesn't think he's seen a full Repzion video. He says he was blown away when he saw the documentary. They were making him out to be Charles Manson, but they wouldn't even say what he did.

The host asks if it's correct that James filmed Shiloh having a seizure and uploaded it to Youtube. James says Shiloh told him to upload it. He said he was tired of her episodes so he recorded it to show her. He told her he could upload the video to help people who are going through that and he could go to sleep or he could stay up all night and make another video. She told him she wanted to go to sleep with him. He says when it went online and everyone was freaking out, he went "oh, that's interesting." Someone asks so the decision was should I stay up all night or do you want me to upload your seizure? James says "yes, that's how stupid the decision was." He says he was told Shiloh said in a video on Tumblr she was fucking with him, but it was conveniently taken down. (That didn't happen. There was no tumblr video and she never said that.) He says the video her ex boyfriend made about her trying to put him in jail is also conveniently taken down. She was threatening to put a knife in someone's text. He says if you only watch anti-Onision videos, he looks like the most insane mother fucker on Earth.

James says at the end of the seizure video, they were laughing together and fucking around in the kitchen. The host asks about how it would help people, if he provided a link? James says throughout the video there was text on the screen describing what was going on. James says there was a part of the video where Shiloh points out a family member and says they're not dead. He says if she lost her memory, how did she remember they died? She says her mom looked old, but how did she age that much in three years? (He explained in the actual video that her mom lost a lot of weight, so she looked a lot older.) He says that's what makes him believe the tumblr video. He says her ex talked about the fake seizures too. The host says he just skimmed through the video and he doesn't see where James told people where to go for support. James says he didn't tell people go for support, he said there was a narrative. The host facepalms. James laughs and asks "what's up?" The host says he doesn't know how James thought that was appropriate. James says he was used to abnormal behavior in that relationship. He called the cops on her 3 times. She would go full mental breakdown when he would breakup with her. He says she threatened to kill herself and make it look like he did it.

The host asks why did James bring her back? James says because she told him she was pregnant. (That's total bullshit. He knew 100% she was lying and called her out multiple times online for lying.) He says she called him before getting on the plane and told him she wasn't pregnant.

Someone asks about the miscarriage. James says there's a few alleged miscarriages. (There was 1 fake one, 1 real one. He knows it was real. He was there at her appointments.) He talks about how she uploaded a picture of someone else's premature baby and wrote "in loving memory of Rogue." (that was the fake one) He says she miscarried at 6 weeks and found out at 12 - 13 weeks. He says it was the size of a peanut on the ultrasound. He said it was a shitty ultrasound because it was a mom and pop doula and a tiny place. They said she needed to remove it, but she didn't have health insurance. She had Canadian health insurance so they sent her back to take care of it the financially responsible way. He said she later shamed him for that and he sarcastically says he's so sorry he's financially responsible. He sent her back for that then she posted the Rogue photo. (That's not true. The Rogue photo happened way before their real miscarriage.) He says it's a mature fetus in the photo, so she was misleading. He said when she faked the pregnancy, she took a photo with her stomach pushed out and faked a doctor's note. He says KatSketch from Shane Dawson's channel has a specialty with pregnant people as far as her schooling. She said Shiloh was pushing her gut out and he celebrated with Cyr that she wasn't pregnant because he didn't want to be with a "psycho" (he literally says "quote, unquote") again. He says days pass and he got lonely and convinced himself to take her back.

The host says he doesn't understand that. James says he was an idiot and his comment section was filled with people telling him not to be with her. He would make videos about how in love they were, pissing off his audience. James says even people in serious abusive relationship where they could die take their partners back.

[creeping-shadow-heralds-storms]

In December 2019, Jessica Long feared her 16-year-old son was spiraling into a mental health crisis, drove him to a Lincolnton hospital and asked security officers to help get the defiant youth inside.

Instead, Long says in a new federal lawsuit, her son was tasered, beaten and body slammed by both hospital personnel and Lincoln County Sheriff’s deputies, and left bleeding and handcuffed outside the building where he had been taken to get care.

The officers’ violent response is captured in full on a 45-minute surveillance video taken outside of Atrium Health Lincoln just after midnight on Dec. 8, 2019. At one point, the footage shows the handcuffed teen, identified in the lawsuit as John Doe, sitting on a blood-stained curb when he is punched in the face by one of the deputies who had responded to a 911 call.

In remarks last year to Observer news partner WBTV, both Atrium and Lincoln County Sheriff Bill Beam defended the officers’ actions, saying they acted appropriately given the teen’s threatening behavior.

But Long’s attorney, Brad Smith of Charlotte, told the Observer last week that the video clearly shows that the Gaston County woman and her son came to the hospital “in crisis and in desperate need of medical care.”

“What they received instead from these defendants was a horrific violation of their most basic and fundamental rights,” Smith said in an email, adding that the officers’ violent methods undermine community trust.

“Do we live in a society where people ... should be afraid to come to the hospital or call the law out of fear of being assaulted and arrested?”

Long’s lawsuit names Atrium Health, the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Hospital Authority, Atrium security officers Adam Harczuk and Rolando Leal along with Lincoln County, Beam and deputies Justin Polson and Michael Johnson. It lists a broad range of claims — from assault and battery and excessive force, false imprisonment and infliction of emotional distress, to negligence, conspiracy and constitutional violations.

The complaint also says the defendants libeled and slandered the family by making false statements about the confrontation and the teenager to justify their actions, while also sharing the teen’s private medical records with unauthorized individuals.

Spitting blood

In a response filed by Charlotte attorney Sean Perrin, Beam, his deputies and Lincoln County deny most of the family’s allegations and asked a judge to dismiss the case, citing governmental immunity and the teenager’s contributory negligence.

Polson also filed a counter claim in which he accuses the youth of assault by spitting blood in his face.

In an interview with WBTV, Beam said Polson acted appropriately in response to what the sheriff described “a felonious assault.“

How the fucking hell does that pathetic excuse explain anything SNOWFLAKE?!!!!

“Spitting in a law enforcement officer’s face ... is a felonious assault and he had a right to stop that assault from occurring,” Beam said.

Spitting does not equate to beating the shit out of a teenager in need of medical attention

In her filing for Harczuk and Leal, Charlotte attorney Lori Keeton repeated many of the arguments in asking for the lawsuit to be thrown out. She said her clients acted appropriately, had governmental immunity, and that the family’s claims of damages were undermined by their own “willful and wanton conduct.”

Atrium media relations manager Kate Gaier declined comment last week, adding: “Out of respect for the process, we will look forward to sharing more about our position on this in court.”

In a statement released after publication of the TV station’s story in February, Atrium said its security officers took measures to restrain the youth after he became physically and verbally abusive to both his mother and the officers. The hospital said the youth threatened to kill Harczuk, Leal and others.

The teen’s behavior forced the security officers “to make sure they could keep themselves, our patients, and our entire care provider team safe. We take threats and acts of violence very seriously,” Atrium said.

Conflicting versions

The lawsuit and video map the combustible intersection of mental health and public safety, which frequently results in violence.

Nearly a fourth of the people killed by police since 2015 have a known mental illness, according to NPR. Injuries in such encounters are common, though not as well tracked.

According to Long’s complaint, she decided on the night of Dec. 7, 2019, that her son needed hospital care after he began behaving strangely at their Gaston County home. They pulled up to the emergency room in Lincolnton just after midnight.

The video, which has no sound, shows the teen getting out of the backseat of the car and begin arguing with his mother. He pushes her once, bumps her on another occasion. Eventually, a hospital security officer appears. The lawsuit identifies him as Harczuk.

The teen begins gesturing at Harczuk, who towers over him. A little later into the confrontation, the officer throws the youth to the ground and violently shoves him down again after he rises to his feet. According to the lawsuit, Harczuk shot the teen multiple times with his Taser — a claim the officer denies. Throughout the struggle, the lawsuit alleges, Long continued to plead for her son to receive care

Evidence Harczuk is a liar

Eventually, the teen and his mother walk back toward their car, which also holds Long’s 7-year-old son. There, as the mother turns away, John Doe is clothes-lined by Leal and falls face first on the pavement, the video shows. Leal then pounces on the teen, struggling to handcuff him and, according to the lawsuit. The pavement beneath them eventually appears bloodied.

The security officers’ court filings offer a different version of events.

Harczuk, according to Keeton’s response, answered a call for a disturbance outside the Emergency Room and found the teenager “assaulting his mother, cussing at her and threatening her.”

“Plaintiff Doe ignored his numerous commands to keep his hands off his mother and so Officer Harczuk grabbed Plaintiff Doe by the shirt and pulled him away from Plaintiff Long to protect her from being further assaulted and Plaintiff Doe fell to the ground,” the filing states.

The officer, according to the filing, says he pulled his Taser but did not use it after the teen punched him in the head and continued to threaten Long and him.

There’s video proof that he is a liar

Likewise, Leal said he later knocked the teen to the ground to keep him from entering the family’s car, according to Keeton’s filing, but says he never assaulted or beat the youth.

Another liar there is video evidence proving otherwise

In their filings, Leal says he asked Harczuk to use his Taser on the teen as the officers struggled to restrain him. Harczuk did, documents show.

Three Lincoln County deputies appear. At one point, Polson crouches in front of the handcuffed teen as the youth sits among the officers on the curb in front of the hospital. In the video, Polson appears to be talking to the youth when he winces, then throws two point-blank punches at the youth’s face. Court documents say the officer was reacting to the boy spitting blood in his face.

Polson is pulled away from the teen by another deputy as Johnson piles on the boy to restrain him. Long, according to the lawsuit, asked the officers to stop. Polson then charged the mother “like a raging bull,” according to the lawsuit, before he is tackled by another officer.

Some 40 minutes after he arrives with his mother, the teen is finally led into the emergency room. The lawsuit said he suffered serious injuries and deals with “persistent psychiatric trauma” from the confrontation.

In the weeks following, according to the complaint, “nearly all the defendants ... engaged in a civil conspiracy to publicly publish false and defamatory statements (about the youth) ... to defame his character and justify the violent and malicious conduct ...”

Statements by the hospital security officers that the teen had punched them and threatened to come back with a gun and shoot them are false, according to the lawsuit.

“This is a family that was within footsteps of the hospital when all this happened,” Smith, the attorney, said. “They went there looking to get help, and this is the result

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

22. Unpacking a Few Things

Word Count: 3914 I have had most of this damn conversation written out almost since the beginning of the story! So, I am SO GLAD to finally be able to give it to y’all. I’m making my way towards the end of this fic, and I already know how I’m ending it and have outlines and notes, BUT, as readers, I want to know if there is anything in particular that y’all want to know or wish you could see/had more insight about whenever it comes to this story and this dynamic? Anything that you feel like I didn’t quite explain or just general questions? I’m gonna be open to those! So, let me know, and hopefully enjoy this installment.

Previous

Grace hadn’t wanted this to become a “Finally, we'll get the truth" type of hyped up event. Because she was mostly wanting to tell Simon to his face how he had affected her life and maybe gain a better understanding of why. She hadn’t wanted to expose him or dig up any of the old feelings. She wanted to move past them and never have to worry about them hurting her again. That was extremely difficult, as she tried to make notes of everything that she wanted to address and how she wanted to word it, she found that the words that she knew she should say were not necessarily the ones that she felt deep down inside. She even tried to get with her therapist to make the best selection of words. Then, to be on the safe side, she was sure to have the woman be there for this meeting. 

Whenever Simon arrived at the rented studio, he looked like a completely different person. He looked like he had gotten everything refreshed right before he entered the building. His hair was shiny and clean, brushed, but not pulled up into his ponytail. He had shaven, his eyebrows and lashes seemed to be perfectly maintained. She made notes of the amount of self care (or spa treatment, possibly) - the manicure, the glowing skin, the glistening smile. It was like that person outside of Julliard had been an imaginary, distorted doppelganger. 

He had a few people with him, and she recognized one as his lawyer, one was she thought his publicist, maybe, and there was another man that she had never seen before. She glanced at her own therapist, still so fly in her pantsuit, even though she was just on the sidelines, and they smiled at each other. Grace knew she would be okay with her there. Whenever the cameras began rolling, it was Grace’s doctor that nudged her head that she could begin. 

Grace held cards in her hands, just to not forget anything. Simon sat smugly across from her, staring at her like he was waiting on her, like he was impatient, almost… like he hadn’t come to her, begging for this chance to talk! That already rubbed her the wrong way, so she started with that. “Simon, it’s good to see that you look well. The last time I saw you, it was… more than a little troubling. Were you able to get things sorted out?”

Something flashed in Simon’s eyes like shame and shock for a moment, like he wasn’t expecting her to speak about that. He blinked, tilted his head, nodded and she noted the exact moment that he switched from his honest feelings to whatever lie he was ready to spin. “There have been some very hurtful, very potentially future threatening allegations made against me, and I suppose that I just made a few rash decisions in trying to cope with these sudden stressors. I didn’t mean to trouble anybody while I dealt with that.”

“When you say hurtful allegations, you mean hurtful in that the allegations could possibly affect what you value,” she said, “Not like it hurts you personally to know that people are speaking about what you did…”

“Allegedly. What I allegedly did.”

“What you told me that you did,” she blurted, and there it was again, that blend of shame and shock, now with a heap of anger. “Which… I will say, I never told anyone that, aside from my therapist, so the fact that other people have come around saying that you also told them the same thing does seem to be a little more than allegedly.” She sniffled, “Because, I didn’t even realize that you had said that to anyone else. I thought, at worst that you were bragging about sex. I mean, we were both virgins until that weekend and we spent a few days exploring. I did things that had never crossed my mind to do and I figured, a teenage boy will probably tell his friends at least a few of these things… But then whenever you told me that it didn’t even matter to you…” Simon clutched the arms of the seat tightly and tried to catch his breath, “I was heartbroken. Because, it meant the world to me. Then, well you know what you told me about it after that, and you know that I got really angry and I hit you.” 

He relaxed a little more. It was so much easier for him to focus on the things she did to him than to face the things that he’d done to her. “Right. You injured my gums and tried to give me a concussion,” he laughed a little and said, “I knew that was my fault. I even said to to your mom after she pulled you off of me.” 

Grace furrowed her eyebrows and she asked, “Are you trying to antagonize me right now? Because, that’s not why we’re here.” He ONLY told her mother that in order to make her look worse, and they both knew it, so the mind games apparently were still on the menu...

“Okay. I thought we were going to point out the shitty things that we did to each other so that we could both feel bad,” he said in an accusatory tone, as that was what it felt like she was doing to him at the moment.

“My list would be so short, Simon. In fact, why don’t I get it out of the way for you, because we both know that I didn’t do anything at all to hurt you or anger you until I told you that I was going to go to college!”

“You did plenty before then, I just always gave you a pass,” he said through his teeth.

“On WHAT, exactly?” she asked.

“Let’s start with the fact that you thought it would be good idea to display my pain about my family to get into your bougie ass school, because you didn’t want to be alone!” She flinched at that. She had absolutely forgotten about it, but was unsure if it warranted his hatred, especially because that was years before and it wasn’t like she hadn’t tried to take it back… 

“Then, whenever I got into the school, you didn’t even notice that they were making me miserable. You didn’t care that I had to rip my own heart out and serve it up to be near you because by then you had everybody so charmed that you didn’t need me or want me around anymore.” She clenched her cards and bit her lip. That wasn’t accurate. It was... a perspective, but not hers... “Your mother talked about me like I was a piece of filthy garbage when she met me, and you just stood there!”

“I was terrified of her, and you know that...”

“I shouldn’t have been a surprise! Why didn’t you TELL THEM that I was taking you? Because, you knew that she wouldn’t approve, even though we were going as friends and you were too ashamed of me to clear it up first. You didn’t care to even consider my feelings again until I almost beat a guy to death for you!” 

She felt tears welling up in her eyes. She… had sort of forgotten about that too. More accurately, she hadn’t thought about it in many years. “I’m not a fool. Grace. I took note of what made you happy, of what made you care about me. I only mattered to you whenever I was protecting you. You only cared about me whenever I was exacting revenge in your name. You got so mad when that girl called me your guard dog, but what the fuck else was I ever to you?”

“I THOUGHT you were my FRIEND! I thought we protected EACH OTHER!” She cried, “It’s not fair to bring my mother into this. You know that was different. Nobody else would have been able to get away with that in front of me. It was HER! What could I do? You know I was terrified of her!”

“That’s why I didn’t hold it against you. But, you wanted a list, Love.” He narrowed his eyes at her and she took a deep breath, centering herself as he scoffed and continued, “You smiled, laughed, cheered me on so many times when I was hurting someone for you, then when you decided that wasn’t enough anymore, you became bored with me and irritated when I responded the same way I always had. We never even had a discussion that we shouldn’t do that anymore! How was I supposed to know that you didn’t want that anymore? But, I took responsibility for you to not look like a violent brat… which. You. WERE! You just happened to not be being one THAT time!”

Grace didn’t feel like pointing out that she repeatedly tried to intercede that night and many nights like it. She definitely knew that he was the more violent of the two of them. Sure, she started it when they were 12, but she grew out of it when they were 15 or so, and according to the reports about charges against him, he STILL hadn’t. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. He looked suspicious. She nodded her head and said, “I’m sorry for convincing you to do things that you didn’t want to do for me. I’m sorry for making you hurt for me to feel comfortable. I’m sorry for any times that I was unfair, or untrue, or unclear. I’m sorry for being confusing. I guess I didn’t know enough about myself to know what I wanted or what I liked, so I was willing to try a lot of things out and I must’ve accidentally neglected your needs in the process. All this time, I honestly just presumed that the things we did together and for each other were the things that kids did for their friends, for people that they loved and respected. I just didn’t have the insight to realize that it would’ve hurt you enough to make you feel like you had to do what you felt like you had to do to me.” She bit her lip, trying not to cry and looked at her therapist. The woman seemed chill, so she guessed that she didn’t look as bad as she felt.

Simon was silent for a long time. His lip was quivering and his heart was pounding. He let out a shudder and leaned back, covering his face with one hand. This scared her. This was similar to what he did right after she told him that she was thinking about leaving. “I don’t need you to apologize for any of that. My entire point was that it didn’t matter to me. I loved you. I didn’t care about enduring those things. I cared about you… growing apart from me.” He uncovered his face and this might have been the first time all day that he had been genuine. “It didn’t feel good to watch you bloom and to feel like I was this weed that was wrapping all around you… but… I couldn’t stop myself. The more you tried to grow away, the tighter I wrapped myself around you and… and…” He shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

Hearing him say those words was something that she never thought would happen, especially when he came in today, acting brand new again. She offered him a gentle smile and chuckled a little bit. “This is why instead of me calling on all my witchy friends or leaning back on my parents’ wealth or something to get back at you, I basically told the universe that whatever happens happens. I feel like we all get what we deserve, eventually, and I didn’t know that it would be today, but I have to admit, I do feel like I deserved that apology.”

“What do you think I deserve?” Simon asked, tilting his head slightly, his eyes still damp, but smiling slightly. 

She shrugged her shoulders, “I think you deserve whatever you deserve.”

He sat up very suddenly, his body stiffened and he looked at her, hurt, confused, angry, again. She looked confused as well, because she thought the conversation was going well and she couldn’t guess what she said that he didn’t like! “You think that the things that have happened to me were deserved? My family, my trauma... those are things you believe that I deserved, as a kid?”

“What? No. I’m not talking about that. I’m just saying...”

“YOU’RE TALKING SIDEWAYS AGAIN!” He fussed and snatched off his mic. “You can never just be straight up! You brought me here JUST to throw it in my face that things have been going badly for me and that it’s my own fault for hurting you!”

“That’s not what I meant, at all! All I meant is that we don’t have to try to seek our own vengeance. You and I used to do that and it only brought us more pain and years of being apart. I thought that we JUST established all of this, Simon!” 

"You lied to me. You made me think you cared about me. You told me we were friends. You said that I was half of you and then you just cut me off like I was nothing! I was never anything to you! I never would be because you don't care about anybody but yourself and I loved you so I couldn't see it. THAT’S what we just established. Well, you're nothing to me now. I come here to settle things and you’re just feeding me more lies, this time for everybody to see? You really think I’m such a fool! Maybe I am for even agreeing to this. I THOUGHT you wanted us back.”

"I'm sorry that I made you feel that way Simon. I know you're hurting and I'm partially responsible for that. But, I loved you. I loved you for a long time and I think I maybe always will. I was wrong to say that you were half of me. I should have found ways to be complete without you. We were children! But now, we're both people who have gone our separate ways, done life without each other, and came out on the other end. We can make better choices. We can change. It doesn't have to be this pain between us, this anger, this hate... I can't make you forgive me but I promise you, I did love you and my life has not been the same without you.”

"Bored without your worshippers?”

"Sad without my friend.”

"You were never my friend. You were some rich kid who thought she could play with me like a toy until you got bored with me.”

"You left me, Simon. Not the other way around!

"YOU WERE GOING TO TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME!!! You were going to destroy what we built! You were going to ruin what I had. What I DESERVED.”

"I was going to give up things I didn't need. You were never on that list!!! You were ALWAYS essential! My biggest mistake was not letting you know that. I don't know where I went wrong. But, I’m sorry that i didn’t notice. I’m sorry for the things that I didn’t even realize or remember. For whatever part I played in all of this, I’m sorry and I want to forgive you for your part. But, I can’t even begin to do that, if you keep insisting that it was all my fault. And… I just want it to be over. I was extremely hurt. I still am, in a lot of ways that we haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of. But I missed my best friend. You didn't miss me?”

He had tears pouring from his eyes and quite frankly, he was sick of how frequently this had been happening to him, but what could he do? His life was falling apart and the one thing he wanted and needed back in it was trying to give him a lifeline… and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to take it! He wanted to, but it all hurt so much. Just thinking about what he did hurt, and they hadn’t even scratched the surface? Of course they hadn’t! You know what the fuck you did to her… 

Grace closed the space between them and said, in a soft voice, “Sometimes, I’m so angry that I can’t see straight. I think about how much you hurt me and I focus on all of the details, every single place that I might have went wrong, and I’m at a loss for coming up with anything that has made sense of it to how you were able to be somebody that would kill for me one day, then be the person who...” She sobbed, “I was crying. I was breaking right in front of you and you didn’t even budge. You were so harsh that sometimes, my mind can’t even believe that it happened that way. I think that whenever I snapped, I must’ve reimagined things and made you out to be more cruel than you were, because surely my Gray Eyes, my Partner in Crime wouldn’t have did the things that you did or said the things that you said.” She covered her face with both hands and Simon stared at her, unable to formulate a response.

I did it? Yep, it happened just like that. Now, you know good and damn well you didn’t imagine that... Like... what does one say to somebody whose life they purposefully tried to end in every way but physical? Someone that they once meant the world to? “And you’re still just standing there...” She said from beneath her hands.

“I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. Not an easy thing for somebody like him to admit - a perfectionist, a know-it-all, a smartass... He knew nothing, especially not what he could do to help this clusterfuck that he both asked for and provided...

“BE SOFT WITH ME AGAIN!” She screamed. He jumped at her loud cry. “For fuck’s sakes, Simon, haven’t you been mad and mean long enough for it to suffice for the suffering you thought I deserved? I’m HUMAN! I did things that hurt people. I did things that hurt you and you got back at me, tenfold! I have to live with the mistakes I’ve made everyday. They bother me. I want to be a different person today. If you can live with being cold for the rest of our lives, I can’t change that, but unless we’re leaving here today, DEAD to each other, be. gentle. to. me.” 

His hand shook as he reached forward, scared to touch her, lest she crumble into countless shards. But, his hand connected with cheek and she let out an exhale that sounded like she had been holding her breath for years. He withdrew his hand, scared that this was a mistake. He should leave. Dead to each other wasn’t so bad. That was probably better than allowing himself to get caught up in her again, which he felt was right around the corner, if he didn’t leave immediately...

Grace hugged him as he tried to pull away and maybe she should have just respected his wishes, but she didn’t this time. He owed her at least a hug, damn it! “I loved you, Simon. I loved you in spite of the things that happened and besides the fact that you say you hate me... I think you'll always be loved, as long as I'm alive.” Simon broke down crying against her and started to collapse to the floor, a lot like he did outside of Julliard, but this time, Grace went down with him, instead of just watching, refusing to let him go and wrapped her legs around his body. 

Simon curved into a fetal position in her arms, crying uncontrollably, remembering the last time he held someone this close for this long... his sister... whenever he couldn't get her to wake up and he was crying and trying to bargain with her to get her to please wake up. “I’ll never hurt you again,” he said. “Please, don’t leave me. I need you.”

He had to be pried away from Hope for her to get medical attention, but it was too late. And his parents hated him for it. They never held him again. He was afraid that Grace wouldn't have him. He didn't know that he could still BE held. Even then, while it was happening, he expected to die from the shock, or the stimulation of the discomfort of being held again when the last time was so horrible and this time, he was so unforgivable...

Then again... he had been held since Hope. Not this long, but Grace had held him before - held his hand, had her arms around him, held him in place when she taught him moves. Held him lovingly against herself as they explored the more carnal side of their connection... 

She had been... a good friend. But... he’d shoved her away the moment she seemed like she might turn him away too. He had to hurt her before she could hurt him. He had to show her that he was the Apex and she was... a void. He had to make her meaningless. So he had forgotten the gentleness of her embrace. He had lied to himself about the warmth of her spirit and the softness of her arms. He had unlearned her goodness and convinced himself it wasn't ever real, and he had believed everything that he concocted about her... "What is wrong with me?"

"You didn't get the love you deserved, but you still have time to learn how to love yourself. You can still change." Grace kissed his hair and began rocking him on the floor. “Simon, I can’t be the person who saves you. You know that, right? I have myself to look out for. I have to make sure that I live my life with the least amount of hurt. But, you really need to get some help. It can’t be me, but... something has to happen.”

“I’m going to get help, so I don’t hurt you again” he said extremely softly. She nodded. It wasn’t the time to point out to him that he shouldn’t be hurting anybody, but she knew that if he got help, help would teach him that. After a while, he got up and started to leave, more calmly than before. She stood up, stretched and sputtered air out of her mouth. They stared at each other a while. What on Earth does one say after something like... whatever that had just been? She didn’t even know if he meant what he said. She knew that she did, but time would only tell if Simon actually listened to her. His publicist, lawyer and therapist collected him, making it easier to transition away from the awkwardness of having held on to Grace for dear life while he cried about things HE did to HER. 

They left the building, dragging him away as Grace watched, feeling at least on her end, she had done everything that she could to clear the air. Then, he just vanished. Nobody saw or heard from him for a while...

Next

[lunasilvermorny]

Facing the past - Luna and Jacob

This is not part of the headcanon. It’s simply a dialogue that Luna and Jacob would have had if they actually talked about their problems instead of sweeping everything under the rug.

They have so many unresolved issues, that I thought it would be an interesting concept to explore. It got intense.

Enjoy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luna: Aren’t you tired of playing the victim when you’re clearly at fault here?

Jacob: Right, I forgot I was talking to father’s mindless lacky.

Luna: I am not his lacky! Just because you have a warped perception-

Jacob: Accurate perception.

Luna: -of me, doesn’t mean that you know what the bloody hell you’re talking about!

Jacob: Won’t you ever shut up?!

Luna: You’re a failure! You have no one to blame but yourself-

Jacob: Yes, father.

Luna: -if you only did something with your life-

Jacob: Yes, father.

Luna: -instead of acting like a child.

Jacob: You’re right, father.

Luna: LIKE NOW! ACTING LIKE A CHILD!

Jacob: At least I can think for myself!

Luna: Oh, right. You’re so edgy. Hey everyone, look at me-!

Jacob: And I’m the child?

Luna: I wear leather and I smoke like a chimney! Aren’t I cool? Screw the man - literally!

Jacob: Is that supposed to be funny?

Luna: You are a self-centered prick that has nothing to offer and can only stand up against literal children and bully them!

Jacob: I was trying to prevent you from turning into HIM!

Luna: You were trying to kill me!

Jacob: Oh, please. Could you be any more mellowdramatic?

Luna: What about the time you used Bombarda on me?

Jacob: I was aiming for your toy.

Luna: You hit my god damn face!

Jacob: By accident!

Luna: I was 6, you psychopath!

Jacob: Were you already a mindless lacky at the age of 6? Impressive.

Luna: What about the time you destroyed my arm?!

Jacob: It was a tiny scratch-

Luna: It took the healers 6 mouths to fully reconstruct it!

Jacob: Fine, but I was a kid too!

Luna: Funny, when I was at that age, I haven’t completely obliterated any of Olivia’s limbs!

Jacob: Of course not, you were too busy climbing up father’s bum!

Luna: Father this, father that-

Jacob: Yes, father this, father that! He’s the real monster, if you’re looking to blame anyone.

Luna: You think I don’t know how he’s like?

Jacob: Oh, please.

Luna: Because I do-

Jacob: OH, PLEASE!

Luna: I know more than you think, you just never gave me enough credit. You never had even the slightest respect for me!

Jacob: What is there to respect? You were a mini version of him!

Luna: I was a child!

Jacob: You were a little devil.

Luna: I WAS A CHILD!!

Jacob: You can yell it all you want, still doesn’t change the fact that you were a nasty little twat.

Luna: Oh, me? Really? Was I the one that constantly pranked you?

Jacob: You were asking to be pranked, with that stupid face of yours.

Luna: Was I the one that constantly belittling you?

Jacob: It was a matter of time and you know it.

Luna: No, it wasn’t.

Jacob: It was. I knew he’ll get inside your head eventually and turn you against me, so what was the point in even trying? I had no chance, you adored him!

Luna: I have my issues with him, just as much as you do.

Jacob: Yeah, right.

Luna: What the hell would you know?!

Jacob: Aren’t you still in that cozy closet of yours? I know mum knows, she always knew, but does he know?

Luna: ...

Jacob: Right. So you haven’t told him - what a shocker!

Luna: Why the hell would I tell him?

Jacob: Because that’s who you are! You want to know how he reacted when I told him?

Luna: You should’ve kept it to yourself.

Jacob: How can you, of all people, say that?

Luna: He’s old and set in his ways. What’s the point in antagonizing him?

Jacob: You’re right, how dare I find men attractive?

Luna: That’s not what I meant and you know it.

Jacob: All I know is that you’re a little coward. Afraid to ruin your reputation as his perfect little princess?

Luna: He is old! What good would it make?!

Jacob: Don’t you want to be yourself?

Luna: I don’t need to! Not in front of him.

Jacob: Wow, so rebellious.

Luna: You told him because you knew it would push him over the edge!

Jacob: Ha! Oh, really? Was that the reason? Good to know!

Luna: He already had his problems with you-

Jacob: Exactly. EXACTLY! Do you have any idea how it feels that my own father hates me?! My own father thinks I’m a bloody mistake!

Luna: And instead of proving him otherwise-

Jacob: There was no way to prove anything! That horrible man made my life miserable ever since I can remember!

Luna: Look at that, just like you did to me.

Jacob: I was trying to help you!

Luna: You were taking your frustration on me! I was your bloody scapegoat, since you couldn’t confront father, and you know it!

Jacob: You are so blind!

Luna: No, you’re just a hypocrite!

Jacob: Fine, I’m a hypocrite! But it doesn’t mean that man gets a free pass for all the crap he put me through!

Luna: He had a messed up family too-

Jacob: Don’t you even try-

Luna: -they were literally Death Eaters!

Jacob: -to compare the situations. He married mum out of spite! He brought us to this world out of SPITE!

Luna: They messed him up-

Jacob: That doesn’t justify his actions!

Luna: -really bad and you know it.

Jacob: He messed me up!

Luna: Yeah, well. Me too. That doesn’t mean I’m crying about it like a freaking infant!

Jacob: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS MAN DID TO ME!

Luna: Yeah, made you feel worthless. Boo-fucking-hoo. Join the club.

Jacob: Really? Did he ever beat you up?

Luna: Of course not.

Jacob: Did he ever screwed up your face so badly that mum had to literally reconstruct it?!

Luna: I know that he’s not a good man, but he wouldn’t resort to violence.

Jacob: When he found out I’m gay, he used the CRUCIATUS curse on me!

Luna: ...

Jacob: Do you have any idea what it’s like being tortured by your own father?!

Luna: ...

Jacob: Nothing to say, all of a sudden?

Luna: You’re a liar.

Jacob: Oh, am I?

Luna: Yes, you are clearly lying.

Jacob: Of course you’ll say that, you worthless arse.

Luna: You must be really desperate-

Jacob: Why would I lie about it?!

Luna: -to create such fake- BECAUSE YOU’RE A LIAR!

Jacob: ASK HIM! Ask mum. Let’s see what they’ll say.

Luna: Fuck you.

Jacob: And if you ever come out to him, that’s exactly what’s expecting you. You’re welcome, by the way. I had no one to give me a heads-up.

Luna: Shut up! I don’t need to hear these kinds of lies for the psychopath that was probably a few pranks away from using the same curse on me!

Jacob: I would never-!

Luna: You are the only one that ever physically hurt me in our family.

Jacob: ...

Luna: How dare you pass the blame to him, after everything you’ve done.

Jacob: I... I never intended to hurt you, honestly. You were just so much alike! With your stupid smirk and insufferable voice-

Luna: I was helpless.

Jacob: Well, so was I.

Luna: I don’t care. You are the older sibling, you should have known better.

Jacob: ...

Luna: You don’t deserve any sympathy. None!

Jacob: I care about you and that’s more than that horrible excuse of a father would ever give you. He is incapable of real love and you know it.

Luna: ...

Jacob: There is no such thing as unconditional love with that man.

Luna: I don’t need unconditional love. Never have.

Jacob: He is a bad man.

Luna: I know. You’re both bad-

Jacob: He’s worst!

Luna: I know.

Jacob: No, you don’t. If you don’t believe me, then you don’t know.

Luna: Nothing would convince me that you’re telling the truth now.

Jacob: Then ask him.

Luna: I will, but I already know that you’re lying.

Jacob: We’ll see.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some cuts are just too deep to mend. I can’t think of any scenario that could ever truly repair their damaged relationship. That’s why they chose to just ignore the past and act as if nothing happened, while letting all the passive-aggressive remarks slip through the cracks.

This post is long enough, but if you’re interested, I’ll add the part where she asks their father about Jacob’s allegations.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edgar: Yes, Luna. Come in.

Luna: Hello, father.

Edgar: As you can see, I am very busy. Is it urgent?

Luna; I just have one question.

Edger: All right, go ahead.

Luna: Have...have you ever…?

Edgar: Speak, child. I have no time for hesitancy.

Luna: Have you ever used the Cruciatus curse on him? Jacob, I mean.

Edgar …

Luna: …

Edgar: No.

Luna: Okay…

Edgar: Anything else?

Luna: No, that's all.

*She turned to leave*

Edgar: Luna.

Luna: Yes, father?

Edgar: You have great potential and your OWLs prove it. Do not let him take you down with him. He is below your level in any regard and he knows it. That is why he dragged you into the these vaults nonsense and that is why he is planting these ridiculous ideas inside your head.

Luna: Yes, father.

--

Rowan: So, what happened?

Luna: He did it.

Rowan: Oh, Luna, I’m... I’m so sorry-

Luna: I don’t want to talk about it.

--

Jacob: So, have you asked father yet?

Luna: ...

Jacob: Didn’t like what you’ve heard?

Luna: Of course I haven’t asked him, you’re obviously lying!

Jacob: Figures. You’re such a coward.

[alexandermanes]

ghost whisperer - rnm fic

hey so here’s the ghost malex au/human au fic  wrote but didn’t post on halloween week bc i was unmotivated

hope you like it :)

ao3

Chapter One - Ghosts

“First, you need a location”, declared the man, Tom, also known as MythCatcher on Youtube

Michael nodded then furiously scribbled down in his scrawny handwriting “Location”

“Then, you need to do research- Research is a very important part of paranormal investigation. You need to fact-check myths, learn about history of the place you’re looking for poltergeists”, he informs Michael via the small screen of his phone, “Learn about the deceased’s, their name, their story”

He stops the video to write “Research” on the notebook, underneath “Location”, obviously.

“After that: planning. What kind of gear are you planning on taking? Camera? Infrared night vision goggles? An Ouija board to facilitate communication? What kind of questions will you ask, with or without the board? What time are you going? What time are you going to visiting the haunting site? What are the alleged time of the apparition’s sighting?”

Those are too many points, Michael observes and writes “Planning” as a third bullet point in his “How to ghost hunt” list. Tom (MythCatcher) doesn’t appreciate the term “ghost hunter”, he thinks it’s demeaning since people don’t take ghosts seriously. The paranormal, though, that they fear and believe in. Idiot, he muttered as he pressed play on the video again. He does not care about Tom’s sensitivities.

Michael isn’t delusional, he knows most paranormal investigators are as genuine as his will to admit when Max’s right, which is non-existent. But, amongst the sea of “myth catchers”, Tom is the one that makes the most sensible points, despite the fact that he earns money by making Youtube videos in his 40s and advertises for “high-end ghost hunting gear”. Needless to say, he takes Tom’s points with a grain of salt.

         “Once you have a list of equipment to take with you and a scripted way to approach the site, the hows and when, then you’re ready for the next step: Communication”, Tom states, “Now, this is a crucial step. To communicate with the paranormal, you must be respectful”

Michael isn’t sure what constitutes as being respectful amongst investigators of the paranormal but invading their space, often the site where they died in, and demanding their participation in whatever nonsensical conversation they have planned doesn’t seem like very cordial behavior.

“No mocking, no inviting dangerous entities to that space, address them by name and be polite. Also you must be protected, always be straightforward about the kind of entity you allow to be in your vicinity. If there’s any funny business going on, send it away immediately. Bring your salt with you. ParanormalActivityStore has a ten percent discount if you use my code for a personalized-“, he is interrupted by Michael closing the app

“That’s enough dead brain cells for a single afternoon”, he reminds himself., after that he scribbles “Communication” as a final bullet point in his list.

Michael Sanders isn’t sure when his obsession with ghosts started, although he doesn’t appreciate his interest and curiosity being labeled and an obsession, thank you very much, despite what everyone else has voiced in the past; that’s why he keeps it to himself these days. No, in fact, he actually knows when this journey began, he can pinpoint it.

See, Michael is a man of rational thinking and little faith, a man of science and not religion which is why he believes in ghosts. Every night for a year he sees his mom, not in dreams, and with no previous history of mental illness, not in delusions. Every night religiously for a year his mom has visited him. When it started he believed himself to be dreaming but that wasn’t the case. She never says much, kneels by his bedside, cradles his face with one hand, caresses his cheek and smiles at him, teary-eyed and whispers. “Manes Residence”, those words haunt him but with a foreign intent. Though it’s a balm to his soul seeing his mother smile at him even when her eyes are so woeful, even proffering such ominous words.

It is a mystery to him as to why, ten years after her death, a brain aneurysm that took her unexpectedly from his arms, she began to visit him during the night and why she whispers those words. He has exhausted every method he’s ever heard of: Ouija boards, calling out to her, lucid dreaming, leaving candles and objects for her to communicate through, he even considered hiring a psychic but that somehow seemed too extreme. He tried praying and still prays at any given time during the day but that doesn’t seem to have been successful. At first he assumed he wasn’t doing it correctly, but then again, at the ripe age of eleven years old, in one of the foster homes he inhabited lived a family of religious fanatics, so he doubts he’s doing prayers incorrectly. Especially when hesitating or stuttering during prayers resulted in punishment. This situation is a big enigma to him and it pesters him on a daily basis. He needs answers. If this was any ordinary mystery he wouldn’t have bothered this much but he has bone-deep certainty that this, whatever it is, is very important.  So keeps trying to contact his mom. He tries unrelentingly.

-

Until one day. He makes his way to the Crashdown, Isobel and Max by his side. After a long day of school (he was thankful it was his senior year), they all decided they needed a well-deserved milkshake with a side portion of french-fries. As they entered the diner and the small bell rang overhead, they noticed an unusual amount of patrons for a Thursday afternoon. Oh, well, he thought. They sauntered towards the counter and waited in line, a single person in front of them, a truly serendipitous event. In the indistinct chatter he picks up two words: Manes Residence.

“Sorry?”, he says loudly, turning towards the person who emitted them

Rosa Ortecho asses him with an unimpressed, and frankly disgusted, expression and continues talking to Liz, disregarding him as if he were a vexing fly.

“So anyways. Lydia told me that now the house is haunted. Sargent Psycho took off with hs ten kids or whatever to nowhere land during the nightly hours. Not a soul saw them ever again”, she points out, “dude murdered his wife after she tried to leave him, buried her than grabbed his five sons and fucked off”

“It’s just a rumor, Rosa!”, Liz replied, laughing purely out of amusement and disbelief

“So this Manes House”, Michael chimed in, “where is it?”

“Michael, stop barging in in people’s conversation”, Max reprehended him, an honest to God blush creeping in

“I’m sorry”, Michael looked from Liz to Rosa, “He isn’t usually this rude”

Michael gave him an eye-roll that screamed Fuck off, Max. Rosa just mimicked him while Liz smiled, a bright and toothy smile.

“It used to be Master-Sargent’s Jesse Manes residence, he lived there with his wife and four sons. Then one day they disappeared off of the map and the house was put up for sale. No one ever saw them since, I think, the fourth of July fair last year”, she informed him, “The house was never sold, probably because of rumors that it is haunted. I can give you the address, me and Rosa used to be best friends with one of his kids, Alex”

“Yeah, right up until the moment the left and just like poof, never called or texted”, Rosa supplied

“He probably just didn’t find the time or-“, Liz tried to explain

“For a year, Liz?”, she replied with a very irritated tone, “Either he is ignoring us, completely forgot us or is dead”

Liz gave her a good-natured eye-roll and simply told her she was being dramatic.

“Can you give me an address?”, Michael asked suddenly feeling anxious

Liz acquiesced then ripped a sheet of paper from her notepad and wrote the address.

“You’re one weird little dude”, Rosa told him, though Michael completely disregarded her

He thanked Liz and almost forgot about the shake and fries, the original reason for his appearance at the Crashdown. As they waited, Max and Isobel engaged in conversation but Michael was far too distracted to hear any of their words, instead, his mind raced, making plans about when to visit the residence. Something akin to energy traveled through his veins, similar to electricity, his heart sped-up, he felt restless and suddenly very aware of his surroundings. The movement of brown paper bags being set on the counter snapped him out of his gaze. He immediately took one, knowing they order essentially the same dish, and strode to the door.

“Michael!”, Isobel called out, drawing heads to her, “where are you going?”

“Sorry. Forgot I had something to do at- um, the junkyard. Talk later”, he immediately turned his back on his friends and exited the diner.

He scrambled for his keys inside his pocket, growing more frustrated by the second, until the skin-warm metal found his finger tips and at last, picked up his keys. He unlocked his baby blue beat-up truck and tossed his food on the passenger seat, subsequently starting the engine. He felt possessed, moving by this ominous force, an urgent feeling, but regardless of his feelings amongst other things, he was hell-bent on finding the Manes residence at that very instant.