#never said it was a good one stop typing that too ok moving on

[nomairuins]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[goldsbitch]

BEEP

First night in a shared apartment with Lando. All is idyllic - until there is an unidentifiable alarm sound, which brings out insecurities buried safely inside under normal circumstances.

fluff, anxiety vibes, one shot

Y/N was a baths type of person. In fact, Lando suspected her being a part-time mermaid. Always in a body of water, if possible. For hours and hours. Many times he had come to her home only to find her sitting in a bathtub of then already cold water on her "home office" hours, with a laptop on her precisely curated set up. He would come to her, chat a little and playfully splash some water into her face, before having her drain the tub and joining her after another set of hot water was in it. Even after that, he could only last about 20 minutes before getting uncomfortable.

He was glad water bills were not life or death for him when they moved together to their first official shared apartment in Monaco. Making it their own was her priority, so a bathtub was an absolute must. Pool nearby as well.

As far as moving houses goes, this was a hectic one. Lando's schedule making it hard for him to participate, so she had to organize it all with the help of movers. Cleaning out two apartments into one. She was few years younger than him and this was the first time she had actually moved on her own, making it a classic test of adulthood. There were few pseudo panic attacks involved during the process. However, the feeling of accomplishment? Being able to prove to herself that she can do it alone was something nobody could ever take from her. Another level of adulthood conquered. But she didn't want Lando to know about this little insecurity of hers - with him having to grow up faster than most of his peers, she sometimes felt like she was lacking behind. Though Lando never made any comment about that, in fact this did not cross his mind at all, until their first proper evening together in their new apartment.

Lando was excited for that evening, but he was proper tired. Physically and mentally drained. Few weeks of constant travel and racing drama had him totally off.

She managed to get most of things ready for his arrival. They hit the bubbly bathtub immediately upon him coming home. Lando was smitten. Coming home, it felt really refreshing after months of "your place or mine?".

It was raw, both of them naked facing each other in the tub, legs entangled, their bodies touching at multiple places. Hot steam coming out of the water filled the room, curling Lando's hair more that usually and the scent of her latest favorite vanilla bath salt gave into the relaxing atmosphere. They casually caressed each other, engaging in a light simple conversation, carefree and intimate.

All of that went out of the window when there was an excruciatingly loud and sharp beep alarm noise suddenly out nowhere.

BEEP

Y/N eyes went wide. Lando knew that look all too well by then. Pure panic. He knew there were few moments he had to stop her spiraling.

"What was that? Did you hear it?" she asked, boring her eyes in his for answers he did not have.

He smiled and tried to pass on some relaxing energy onto her. "Yes, I did...Calm down, it's probably nothing."

"Probably?! How can you be sure?"

Lando reached for her hand. "I'm sure. All is good and fine, let's not get bothered by anything. I missed you so much," he said truthfully. She was what he wanted to focus on. Not some nonsense sounds.

She eased a bit, her fingers still feeling tense in his hands. "I miss you everytime."

"Oh, so it's a competition now?" he smirked, happy he got her distracted.

BEEP

The two stared at each other in silence for few moments.

"Honey, ignore it," he said trying to sound more demanding than a plea.

Y/N took a deep breath in. "I am ignoring it."

"I can see that, clearly," he said sarcastically. "Tell me about your week instead. Were the movers ok? Did they do a good job?"

"Well, we're sitting here and we have a bed to sleep in, so I'd say it was a success," he replied dryly.

"You're my little nervous peach, aren't you?" he said, leaning closer to her so that he could caress her face. Oh boy, was he drowning in love with this strange human sitting across him.

She let go of her pout. "Yes...But, you're the one to talk! You always get nervous before a car upgrade."

He was truly fascinated how she was unapologetically able to compare new McLaren upgrades with a random beep sound. He'd already made a mental check of the things that could have been making that sound and figured all the important alarms made a completely different sound. For a moment, he imagined his girlfriend sitting in a formula 1 car going over 200 km/h, freaking out in the style only she knew how. He'd never admit this to her, but he found her "freaking out" face irresistible.

He calculated his response. "It's perfectly fine to get nervous. But trust me, this in nothing."

BEEP

Her question was almost immediate. "What if it's the gas. What if we have a gas leak. A guy came here to do an inspection yesterday, what if he didn't close the vent or whatever?"

"Honey, the gas is not even on now..." he looked at her perplexed.

She was unstoppable at this point. "I don't know that! I don't understand these things! It's all gas heater there, air conditioning here, water boiler this and insurance that. Did you know we need to have a property insurance for the lease?"

"Yes, I knew that." He was not sure how to keep responding at that point. The last thing he wanted was to make her spiral more.

"Well, I didn't! Felt like an absolute idiot talking to the guy, I thought these things were part of leases."

Lando squeezed her hand. "It's fine. Once we get out of the tub, we'll go and search for the sound. Hey, maybe it has already stopped."

She was staring at him, waiting for her cue, expecting a beep sound any moment now. He returned her look, challenging her, making a battle of who was right. And the sound? Suddenly, not even a little ding.

"See?" he said, really hoping it was not going to come as he finished.

Tension was high in the bathroom, making it the opposite of relaxing. Yet still, there was no place other than these two would rather be. Well, Y/N would rather be at the source of the forsaken beeping, but, that was not happening now.

"Ok. Maybe you're right," she said, visibly tired as well.

"We'll get out of this bath in few mins, have dinner in the bed, watch some nonsense and go to sleep, ok? I need your cuddles, desperately," he said softly and leaned to kiss her.

BEEP

"Oh my god, what is that???" she screamed in utmost annoyance.

"Honestly, it sounds like it's coming from outside the house," he observed - and she was not having it anymore.

She gave him a sassy smile. "So, what. Is it the apocalypse now?"

"It's not the apocalypse."

Flustered wave hit her face, having her melt down completely. "Why would someone install an alarm somewhere and have it beeping for no apparent reason? People don't do that."

"I don't know, my love..."

"That's ok, but I should know! I took over the apartment from the realtor - I should have asked!"

"And what would the question be? What are the things that could beep?"

She threw her arms out, splashing water everywhere and not even noticing it. "I don't know! That's the thing! I just don't know. And I don't have a single idea where people find these out. How come everyone around always seems to know and I'm here just sitting, vibing and hoping we're not going to burn the house down."

"Y/N? What's this about?" he asked, concerned. Was she ok? Was there something he'd missed?

She was on a roll, words just flowing out of her mouth, the way only speaking to Lando made her do. "I just feel so out of place some times. I'm doing all these adult things, far away from family and from you as well. And I want to be able to do it, I want to be a good adult. But I just don't know."

He tried to hold her hand once again, but she was busy having her arms crossed around her chest. "You're still young, this is growing up. I also don't know yet, many times..."

"I don't want to be your burden, I want to be your support."

"You are my support, what are you on about?"

"I was suppose to be in charge of the whole moving thing. And here we are and I can't even tell you what's beeping."

BEEP

"My god! Can it just stop! Please!"

Lando was still thinking about what she said previously. The familiar feeling she described.

"You did a great job with the move, by the way. Honestly. It would not happen without you. I wish I could be here more," he spoke slowly, hoping she would subconsciously join in his tune.

She sighed. Might as well get everything out now. "I love you, you know that. But it gets lonely sometimes. And there is no end of your nomadic lifestyle in sight. And what if you get bored of me once you stop traveling? We've never spent a month without a break together. What if when you're older, you decide I'm actually pretty boring and you leave me for someone younger. And I'll be old, pass my best years and alone once again."

She stopped, surprised a little bit by the words that came out of her. Now that it was out, it was impossible to ignore.

Lando was hyper focused now. Every word a calculated decision. This was no longer a chill chat.

BEEP

"Y/N. I love you too. And I love you the way you are and I can't imagine loving anyone else. I'm also excited for the older version of you to come one day, to accompany my older self that I have yet to meet. I want to be with you. My job is making this harder, but I hope this will not be an obstacle for you."

The last thing she wanted was to make him feel guilty. She got mad at herself for tangling things up together so much that it stopped making sense to her. "Of course not. I love your passion and the fact you dream big. Sorry, this got a little out of hand."

"No, I'm glad you're finally phrasing your worries. Is there anything more?" Lando was keen on continuing this impromptu chat.

"What if we grow apart? People change all the time. What if we stop wanting each other? How long can love last?"

He smiled. "For me it's impossible to imagine it now. I can only speak for my present self. But what you described it the last thing I'd ever want to happen."

Y/N took a deep breath once again. "Do you want children? Because I don't know yet. Yet, unlike you, I don't have the luxury of decades to decide. My time is slowly running up. And here I am, not even sure if want them?"

"Honey, plenty if time for that. I'm sure I do not want children in the next two years anyway. It must be real fun in your head sometimes - in one sentence you're too young to know adult stuff and in other you're too old for having children?"

She finally laughed. "Yeah. It is confusing sometimes."

"I hope you don't get offended, but you look absolutely gorgeous when you're flustered. Don't be too hard on yourself, please."

"I'll remind you of that when you're on your typical self-hate trip after a bad race."

"Touché." Got him there.

"Shall we get out of the bath? Would you mind searching with me for the alarm?"

"With you I'll be happy to do absolutely anything."

He got out and reached a hand for her when she was getting up, almost as a metaphor for her current state. They helped each other dry out, put on new matching bathrobes that Lando brought as a gift and searched the whole apartment for anything that could or would beep. There were few more beeps coming their way before they suddenly stopped. The two figured it really was coming somewhere from outside. Once Y/N was finally convinced they checked everything, she agreed on getting to bed and cuddle. Lando offered going out to get her ear buds for sleeping, but by that time it had already stopped.

They never found the source of the beeping. But, that's ok. Sometimes things just make unexpected noise and it's fine.

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

I Can Go Anywhere I Want- Just Not Home | Bucky Barnes x Reader

Hi, friends. I've been BUSY with school and this one took fucking forever. But it means a lot to me, I hope you like it. :)

Word count: 13.3k

AUTHOR'S NOTE: do me a favor and pretend Bucky didn't disappear in the blip. ok thanks bye.

Warnings: talk of financial struggles, food insecurity, housing insecurity

A familiar shape stepped onto the sidewalk just ahead, freeing itself from the shadows of a rundown motel. The lines and curves of this body forced your heart into your throat. Time seemed to stop. The world round you ceased its turning. You’d know those broad shoulders anywhere, and you’d remember that sharp jaw even after your soul left this mortal coil. 

You stood there, your feet rooted in the concrete, watching him with a longing that tore through your chest. How long had it been since you last saw him? How many months had passed since you last spoke? You made yourself stop counting the days long ago; it was too depressing, too pathetic. But while you forced your brain not to continue the tally, your heart kept count. 

His sudden motion caught your attention, pulling you from your thoughts. The shape that once resembled home headed down the street, slipping through your fingers a second time. But you couldn’t let him get away- not again. 

Even after you freed your feet and increased your pace, he remained ahead. His long legs carried him away from you as he glided past people on the sidewalk. His hands rested in his pockets, concealing his trademark from the world. His head bowed forward, he kept his gaze down. He didn’t want to catch the eye of the public. But he caught yours. 

“Bucky?” your call came out a desperate plea. Blowing his cover wasn’t your goal, but he was too fast. You had to stop him before he vanished again.

He stopped in his tracks at the sound of your voice. You could’ve sworn you saw his head fall another inch or two, as though he were disappointed to know you’d found him.

But he turned. And for the first time in almost a year, he faced you. 

“Bucky.” It wasn’t a question this time, but an affirmation. A reassurance. An unstoppable smile pulled at your lips, a sigh of relief left your chest. You almost wept. “Hi…” 

The darkness that clouded your mind in his absence parted all at once, making way for a golden glow of twinkling lights. You hadn’t seen him since the battle. Since the shimmering portals. Since everyone returned home after Thanos fell. 

He simply stopped answering your calls. Your texts. He didn’t return your voicemails. 

To this day, you wondered what you did wrong. What you did that pushed him so far away. It wasn’t like him to ice you out, to cut you off without warning. He had baggage, sure, but he never shied away from you. Not like this. At one time, you were his closest friend. His most trusted confidante. And he was yours. You spent every moment together, taking shelter in each other. But not anymore. 

Each night, you recounted the last time you saw him. You analyzed every detail, scrutinizing the minutiae of the interaction. Maybe you said something that offended him. Maybe you did something hurtful. But no matter how hard you wracked your brain, not one single red flag made an appearance. And it made Bucky’s sudden disappearance from your life all the more maddening. More hurtful.

Sometimes, you liked to think that he just used you. That he got what he needed from you and moved on. It somehow softened the blow of his loss. Painting him as a manipulator took the blame off your shoulders and made him the villain. But you could never convince yourself of this narrative for long. Bucky wasn’t the type of person to use others. He gave and gave until he had nothing left. Or until he left.

With a few strides, you closed the gap between the two of you. “It’s so good to see you, Buck,” your instinctive reach for a hug left your arms hanging in the air as he took a small step back. It was then you realized just how embarrassing it was to drop your arms to your sides after an unwanted embrace.

“Hey- hi,” he cleared his throat and cut his eyes to the side, almost like he couldn’t bear to look at you. He stared at the passing cars, the flier-covered streetlight. Anything to keep his gaze from lingering on you. He wasn’t sure he had the strength. 

But he couldn’t help himself- he had to look at you. And as his eyes finally landed on yours, a familiar warmth sliced through his trepidations. He’d been aching for so long now; he’d didn’t know what a life without pain felt like. Every day, he hurt. He suffered. But the biting agony stilled as he stared at you. 

His lungs filled to capacity for the first time in months. The knots in his stomach untangled themselves. He’d forgotten how light he felt around you. You had a way of making things feel so easy, so simple. Everything in his life was complicated, and each day grew more difficult than the last. No matter how hard he tried, he never quite got his head above water. But with you standing there before him, he broke through the surface for the first time in ages.

He drank you in for a long moment, taking inventory of the ways you’d changed, and the ways you’d stayed the same. Your radiant smile still poked dimples into your cheeks. Freckles still splashed across your skin. But he noted the all too familiar braid in which your hair was twisted. The letter ‘N’ dangling from a dainty gold chain around your neck.  

Bucky knew losing Nat wasn’t easy on you. Knew that you’d been mourning her all on your own. He should’ve been there for you, should’ve been your shoulder to cry on. He hated himself every day for making you go it alone.

“It’s um,” Bucky didn’t know where to start. “It’s been a while…”

A quiet, awkward laugh rasped out of your throat at his understatement, “Yeah, you could say that.” 

A long pause forced its way between you. Things with Bucky never used to be this awkward, this tense. He was nearly a stranger now. And it killed you. Your friendship always flowed without difficulty, without pressure. It became second nature. The two of you moved together almost as though choreographed, anticipating the other’s actions instinctually.

But those instincts died and were buried, along with your hope of ever patching things up.

“Um, are you- where are you headed?” you asked, breaking the silence.

“I was just gonna- I thought I’d grab some breakfast.”

“Oh! Me too!” Finally, you had something in common. “Can I-” you quickly rephrased, fearing you may scare him off. “Do you wanna go together? Maybe we could catch up?” You knew you were throwing yourself at him, but you couldn’t stop. You were so overwhelmed, so desperate to be near him; you didn’t care how crazed you seemed. 

Bucky’s shy smile made an appearance, “Yeah, that would be nice.” He kicked himself for not appearing more excited, more overjoyed by the reunion. But he couldn’t find it in himself to feel anything other than anxious. 

The walk to the diner was less awkward than you anticipated. The conversation flowed a little smoother, the words came a little easier. But it was still clunky. And though more silence than you would’ve liked hung in the air, you breathed easier knowing that he was merely a few inches away. 

Things between you simply needed to thaw. You needed to shake the rust off and find your way back into the groove you carved out for one another. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

“I thought you said you were getting breakfast,” you joked, “not just coffee.” You sat across from Bucky in a beat-up booth, it’s cracked, torn vinyl dating the restaurant. When the waitress asked for your order, Bucky insisted you go first. And when you’d finished rattling off your perfect breakfast, Bucky dismissed her with a “nothing for me.”

He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee, “I’m not really hungry anymore.”

“Wow, I didn’t know I had that kind of effect on people,” you said, only half-joking. Maybe he really did hate you, after all. The months of dead silence suggested as much. 

More often than not, you tried lived in denial. You told yourself any lie you could come up with- anything to ease the pain of missing him. Even after his less than enthusiastic reaction to your reunion, you buried your head in the sand. Surely, he was just surprised to see you. He just needed some time to warm up, to come out of his shell.

But he only ordered coffee; clearly, he didn’t plan on staying long. He had an escape strategy locked and loaded. You knew he planned to fulfill your request for a catch-up session and run for the hills as soon as he emptied his mug. Upon your realization, everything came crashing down. His scant order slapped you with the cold hard facts: he’d cut off all communication, ignored you for months, and seemed to lose his appetite at the very prospect of sharing a meal with you. 

Maybe missing him was a waste of your time.

“No, it’s not like that,” very real concern coated Bucky’s words. “I’m so- I’m really happy to see you.” 

His fingers twitched as the logical side of his brain shut down his attempt to touch you. All he wanted to do was reach out and rest a hand atop yours, maybe stroke your knuckles a few times. It was something he used to do all the time, something that, at one point, reassured the both of you. But things were different these days. He didn’t have the right to be so familiar with you, not after he chose to make himself a stranger. 

He gripped his coffee mug with both hands, stemming any impulses to reach for you. “How have you been?”

There’d been a time when you would’ve told him everything. You would’ve spilled your soul and let loose every ugly detail of your life. Being honest with each other used to be easy. Neither one of you had to fear judgment or ridicule; you were safe in the other’s hands.

But those days were long gone. He clearly didn’t want to be your best friend anymore- he barely wanted to know you at all. He was, at most, an acquaintance whose soul used to be tied to yours. And so, you opted to forego the truth. You didn’t tell him that you cried yourself to sleep most nights. You didn’t tell him that you missed him so badly it caused you physical pain. You didn’t tell him that you needed him. Instead, you gave him what he wanted: an easy, canned response.

“I’ve been good,” you forced a smile to your face and shrugged. “Just been working, doing the whole SWORD thing.”

He raised his brow, “Oh, wow. You work for SWORD now? I had no idea. Good for you.” 

He feared his feigned surprise came off too fake, too forced. But you didn’t seem to clock it. You really believed that he was out of the loop, but you should’ve known better. It was ludicrous to think he’d ever be uninformed about your life. Of course, he already knew you worked for SWORD He knew that you moved into a new apartment. He even knew that you were planning on adopting a cat soon. He asked Sam about you almost daily, scrounging for any details he could get. 

He just needed to know that you were okay, that you were safe. And happy. 

“Yeah, I started a few months ago. It’s been-” You paused a moment, allowing the waitress to set down your food. The table in front of Bucky looked so empty; with no food anchoring him to the restaurant, he could leave at any moment. “It’s been alright. But how about you? What have you been up to?”

He took a moment to formulate his response. He needed to be careful. Precise. Allowing too much to slip could ruin everything. “I’ve just been working with Sam,” he shrugged. “We had to take care of that whole Flag Smashers thing.”

“I saw that!” you said, your mouth full of pancakes. “You guys did a great job.”

“Thanks, yeah,” Bucky’s cheeks flushed pink. “And I had my pardon hearing.”

You nodded, “I watched all the news coverage about it.”

He forced his eyes down to his mug; he never used to get embarrassed around you. “You did?”

“Of course.”

Bucky wanted you there that day. He wanted to rest his hand in yours and experience the peace only you could provide as he waited for the judge to call his name. And when he finally received his pardon, he wanted to turn around and see you- wide smile, eyes brimming with happy tears. He wanted to wrap his body around yours and thank you for being his rock. 

But he didn’t invite you along.

He, instead, sat alone in the hall, with no one to hold his shaking hand, until a bailiff ushered him into the courtroom. Sam wanted to be there, but his nephew begged Captain America to make an appearance for Bring Your Dad to Work Day. And who was he to say no?

When the judge awarded Bucky his pardon, no one cheered. No one ran to his side and granted him a congratulatory hug. He collected his papers and made his way out of the courthouse. Alone. 

He got a heap of texts and calls from you that day, though. He watched his phone ring with your name and picture taking up his screen. He poured over your kind texts and listened to your congratulatory voicemails. Even after he shut you out, you made sure he knew that you supported him. That you still cared. But he didn’t return your messages.

He did, however, listen to your voicemails on a loop. Hearing your voice again gave him an escape, a life preserver. You’d never know how much those messages meant, how often they saved him. He promised himself he’d tell you- one day.

 “Honestly, you shouldn’t have even needed a pardon,” you said with an eyeroll. “I mean, you didn’t do anything. None of it was your fault.”

Bucky had nearly forgotten how unabashedly supportive you were. How you were always on his side, no matter what. He wondered why you still wanted to be on his team after months of silence.

“Well, the US government feels differently,” he sighed out a soft laugh. “And it’s taken care of now, so it’s all good.”

He appeared hopeful, almost optimistic. He had Sam, he had his pardon- he seemed to be doing well. And though you wanted more than anything to be in his life, you just wanted him to be happy. Maybe your friendship didn’t serve him the way it served you. Maybe he felt like you didn’t give him what he needed. Maybe his life was better without you in it. The thought stung. It forced your throat closed, nearly sending you into a choking fit. But you swallowed your pancakes along with your pride, and vowed never to beg Bucky to come back to you. 

“Good. I’m happy for you.” You stopped yourself from reaching for his hand. “Can I ask something that might be a little invasive?”

Bucky’s heart stopped, “Um, sure.”

“I saw you coming out of that motel…” you shot him a suggestive glance. “What was that about?”

Bucky stiffened. He grew tense, anxiety flooding his system. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… was there maybe a little-” you raised a brow at him, “hook up situation going on?” 

He laughed at your overdramatic wink, the way you licked your lips. And he thanked his lucky stars you came up with a cover story for him. “Oh, yeah…” he grew bashful about his fictional sexcapades. “It’s just a- it’s casual, you know. Nothing serious.”

The confirmation of your suspicions made your jaw drop. Bucky Barnes, the old-fashioned gentleman, actually had a friend with benefits. He’d had a secretive, motel rendezvous. Hell, he probably had hickeys and nail marks hiding under his shirt. 

A pang of jealousy tore through you like the nails of his lover. Why did she get to be near him? How did she rank above you? The unsettling feeling of envy almost possessed you, but you pushed it aside.

“Woah, look at you,” you feigned appluase. “I always knew you were a ladies’ man, I just never got to see it in real time.”

He rolled his eyes, “yeah, yeah, I’m a real heartbreaker.” He regretted his word choice immediately, knowing full well he broke your heart.

You sidestepped his comment and forced the conversation forward, his comment stinging your open wound. “Seriously, Buck. I’m happy for you.” Once again, you stifled the urge to touch him. “You deserve to have some fun.”

He stared at you for a long moment, a genuine smile on his face. You were so sincere in your support of him, so unashamed of how deeply you cared. Sam was an incredible friend, of course- but you were his soulmate. He was tied to you with an unbreakable thread, unable to free himself even if he wanted to. And he wanted to. But not because he didn’t adore you; it was a simple matter of worthiness. 

But no matter how hard he tried, he still thought of you daily. Almost constantly. He missed you, pined over you, wished he could exist in your world. But he couldn’t- not yet. 

He shook the grin from his face and pulled his gaze down to his mug once again. “I’m um- I’m sorry I haven’t been around. Things have just gotten…” He cleared his throat, “I’ve been really busy.”

A scream scratched at your throat, but you forced it away with a bite of eggs and a swig of coffee. Of course, Bucky was busy. But he wasn’t the only one. It seemed that SWORD wanted to run you ragged. They were always assigning you extra operations and looking to you to solve problems. But even with the mountains of work, even in your sea of grief for Nat, you still managed to reach out to Bucky. You still called, still texted. 

But he clearly didn’t want to make the time for you.

“I totally understand,” you lied. “Shit has been crazy. Don’t worry about it.”

You worried about it every day.

Breakfast wrapped up all too soon. Bucky argued when you paid for his coffee, you hushed him with a promise to let him cover yours next time. And in the blink if an eye, you found yourself standing next to him on the sidewalk, praying he wouldn’t walk away.  

“I should really get going,” he said, taking a step away from you. “I have a meeting.”

“Cool, yeah,” you forced a smile, “this was great- I’m so glad we ran into each other.”

Bucky nodded, “yeah, me too.”

It seemed to you that Bucky couldn’t care less if he ever saw you again. He was disengaged, disinterested, inching ever farther away. He tried to be subtle about it, tried to slowly escape the interaction. But you caught his tiny steps in the opposite direction. His body remained closed off, the space between you growing with each long, awkward pause. 

But even so, you couldn’t let go. You couldn’t let him walk away without knowing if this was the last time you’d see him. 

“We should do this again-” you sounded so needy, so anxious, but couldn’t find it in you to care, “but only if you want.” Never had you felt so pathetic. There you were, practically begging Bucky to signal that he gave a shit about you. 

But all he could muster was a nod. 

“Awesome,” you pulled out your phone. “Do you still have the same number?”

Again, he nodded. 

It killed you. All this time, you’d hoped that he got a new number and simply forgot to tell you. That your texts and calls went unanswered because he didn’t receive them. But he did, indeed, receive them. He just chose to ignore them.

With a swell of tears gathering behind your eyes, you sped through your goodbyes. You threw Bucky a hurried “great to see you, I’ll call soon” and quick smile before turning away and heading for a hiding spot, a concealed place to cry. The person you cared about more than anything, the person you adored, the person for whom you’d lay down your life, didn’t want you anymore. The bitter taste of rejection coated the inside of your mouth. And as you ducked into a bodega down the street, you feared you might get a second look at your breakfast.

You were gone too soon. Bucky wanted to call your name, to run after you. Even after months apart, he could still sus out when you were upset. He remembered your tells. Your dead giveaways. The way your jaw hardened against oncoming emotion. The tendency of your voice to grow thin and hollow as tears loomed on the horizon. 

He knew he hurt you. 

But he found himself stuck, his body defying the orders of his brain. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. He could only stand there, helpless, watching as you disappeared. 

He knew you couldn’t possibly be happy with him after he abandoned you; he was surprised that you even acknowledged him on the street- let alone invited him to breakfast. And after the way he acted at the diner, he was shocked that you asked to see him again. 

The conversation you had replayed on a loop inside his head, and he kicked himself for being so closed off. So cold. He’d sullied your reunion so severely- it was almost aggressive. He was dismissive. Curt. And he lied to your face- multiple times. 

He was so happy to see you- he didn’t want you to think otherwise. But he didn’t expect to run into you like that. He didn’t expect to be near you for another few months, at least. He had a plan, and he was doing his best to follow it with as few setbacks as possible. If he kept his head down and pushed himself, he could get to the point where he could explain. He could tell you the truth and make you part of his life again if you even wanted anything to do with him. Though he wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.

But running into you outside the motel wasn’t part of the blueprint. And he panicked.

He'd held you at arm’s length, never daring to get too close. He kept everything superficial. Surface level. It was the shallowest interaction he’d had with you to date. And it felt wrong. It didn’t fit who you were as people, who you were as friends. Your bond was never the skin deep, small talk type. No, you delved into one another’s deepest thoughts. Bared your souls. He’d never kept a secret from you- nor you him. But that was a different time.

Disappointed, Bucky unrooted his boots from the concrete and trudged off in the direction of his morning meeting. And while he did his best to focus, to participate, he could think of only you. The heartbreak in your eyes. The hurt in your voice. A wave of nausea barreled into him as he replayed the interaction again and again. You deserved better. And Bucky wished more than anything he that could be better. For you. 

But two nights later, your phone rang.

It was late- nearly midnight. You were curled up on the couch under a blanket, neck deep in your Vampire Diaries rewatch when your phone started to buzz. An unfamiliar number popped up on your screen, accompanied only by Siri’s suggestion of who might be calling.

‘Maybe: Kings County Jail’

You stared at it for three rings, wondering how someone from the jail got your number. And just as you were about to deny the call, something in your gut told you to answer it. Maybe it was curiosity, maybe it was divine intervention. Either way, you hit accept and held the phone up to your ear. 

“Um, hello?”

An automated message responded, “You are being contacted by a detainee at Kings County Jail. The detainee-” the recording paused, leaving space for someone to state their name.  Your favorite gruff voice followed, “Bucky-”

“-is trying to contact you. Do you accept the charges?”

A riptide coursed through your brain. Questions upon questions piled up, each one trying to escape your lips first. But you swallowed them for the time being. 

“Yeah- yes, I accept.”

The line connected, and Bucky’s soft “hey…” came through from the other end. “Thanks for picking up.”

“Buck? Is everything okay?”

He sighed, “Yeah, I’m- I’ve been better. But I’m fine. I was just wondering if,” he couldn’t believe he was doing this. “I was wondering if you could come bail me out?”

He gave no context, no reasoning, for his stint in the county jail. But you didn’t care. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

Even after he ditched you and left radio silence in his wake, even after he practically ran from your reunion at the diner- you’d do anything for him. And there was no way in hell you’d ever just leave him there; you couldn’t. Bucky didn’t belong behind bars.

And so, you pulled yourself off the couch, found some shoes, and headed in his direction. 

The bail money didn’t matter to you. Sure, things were easier now that SWORD paid you the big bucks. But even if your account was running on empty, you’d sacrifice your last remaining cents to free Bucky. 

A guard led him down the hall by the arm and shoved him through the door. This wasn’t how he wanted you to see him. None of this fit into the plan he’d so carefully crafted all those months ago. But there you sat in the lobby of the police station, clad in your sweats, waiting for him. The shame nearly tore him apart from the inside out. 

But as he locked eyes with you across the room, he didn’t find the judgement or irritation that he expected. You should’ve been angry with him- why weren’t you angry with him? He’d called in a favor after abandoning you. He made you come down to the police station, made you pay his bail. You should’ve left him to rot in a jail cell. But you didn’t. Because you cared. Even after everything he did, you still cared about him. He wished you didn’t. He wished you’d scream at him in front of everyone- but you were too good for that. Too kind. 

He threw you a bashful wave, but averted his gaze when a warm smile crossed your face. He couldn’t quite stand the way your gracious expression made him feel. Why did you seem so happy to see him? Why weren’t you furious- or even a little frustrated? 

As he waited in line to gather his backpack and personal belongings from the desk, he hoped for something to prolong his time away from you. A clerical error. A massive stack of paperwork. What was he supposed to say to you? How was he supposed to explain this whole mess? He needed time to put his thoughts in order. To organize his lies. 

But, for the first time in history, a United States government agency did things efficiently and without error. And after only a few minutes, he made his way to your side. 

“Hey,” he granted you only a flash of eye contact before dragging his gaze to the floor. “Thanks for- thank you for coming to get me. And for paying my bail…”

You shrugged, “yeah, absolutely”.

“I’ll pay you back, I swear.” It was then he realized that he didn’t want you to be angry with him. Sure, you cursing him out in front of everyone would be easier. Less complicated. But he’d rather die than upset you again. 

“I know. I’m not worried about it,” you granted him another kind smile, “I trust you.”

It was a dagger to the heart. How- and why- did you still trust him? He’d excised you from his life without warning and left you in the cold; he wasn’t worthy of your trust. 

“Are you all good here?” you asked, “Should we get going?”

“Sure- yeah.”

The walk to the car was quiet; Bucky couldn’t bring himself to walk next to you. Existing in your sphere, being seen by you- it was too much for him. Too shameful. Even if he was only in your peripheral. And so, he opted to position himself a few paces behind you. In the safety of your shadow. 

He got settled in the passenger seat of your car as you turned the key in the ignition. But you couldn’t bring yourself to pull out of your parking spot. Everything in you wanted to ask how he ended up in handcuffs. He wasn’t a troublemaker. He wasn’t violent. He wasn’t the type to make waves. Something bad must’ve happened- something out of his control.

But you knew it wasn’t your business. He clearly didn’t want you around anymore, didn’t want to clue you in on the details of his life. And you never liked to pry. 

As the seconds passed, however, your resolve crumbled. No matter what happened between the two of you, you’d always care about Bucky. You’d always worry about him. And your concern finally got the best of you.

Before you could stop yourself, the words came tumbling out of your mouth. “Are you okay?” you stared at him, anxiety brewing in your chest. “You don’t have to tell me what happened- I won’t force you- but I’m worried about you.”

He nodded, “I’m fine.” It wasn’t rude, but his tone didn’t invite further probing. 

With a sigh and an unconvinced “okay”, you put the car in drive and prepared to take Bucky home.

Your blinker clicked incessantly as you waited for a few cars to grant you a clear path. Bucky had ample time to give you directions, but he remained quiet. He didn’t offer up information of any kind, not even a neighborhood. It broke your heart that you didn’t know his address.

“Um, where do you live? Should I turn left or right?” 

You waited patiently for an answer that Bucky didn’t seem to have.

“Actually, do you mind if-” he flashed you an apologetic smile, “could we just drive around for a while?”

Maybe he had some residual adrenaline from being arrested. Maybe being in jail gave him flashbacks to his captivity under Hydra. Either way, you knew he wouldn’t have asked to go for a drive unless he really needed it. Part of you was surprised, though, that he’d willingly spend more time with you. That he’d choose to share a confined space with you. He was all too happy with removing you from his life, and practically sprinted through your reunion breakfast. But after so many months of missing him, you’d take whatever extra time you could get.

The drive was quiet, though it did seem to help Bucky relax some. His leg stopped bouncing; his shoulders loosened up. Being around you had that effect on him; it wasn’t something he could help. But as he mellowed out, the questions swirling around your brain only multiplied.

At a red light, you tested the waters. “Can I ask you something?”

Bucky nodded. 

“What happened tonight? How did you end up in jail?”

A litany of emotions ran across Bucky’s face. Frustration, worry, shame, and sadness tied his expression in a knot. Part of him wanted to lie. He could say it was a bar fight. He could make up an elaborate story and placate you for the rest of the ride. But you bailed him out. You answered his call and showed up for him when he needed you. You sat, clad in your pajamas, in the waiting area of a dirty police station. For him. He owed you the truth.

“I was arrested for sleeping in the park,” he said, his tone flat.

It wasn’t at all what you expected to hear. No answer formed on your lips. You couldn’t pull your eyes from his face. The words sunk in, burrowing their way through your flesh and plunging into your heart. 

“Um, it’s- the light is green,” he said, snapping you out of your trance.

You hit the gas and accelerated on autopilot. And as soon as you made it through the intersection, you pulled over. Bucky’s confession knocked the wind out of you and robbed you of your focus. And if he had more to say, you wanted to give him your undivided attention.

“Why are we stopping-”

“Buck, why were you sleeping in the park?”

Bucky let loose a deep sigh that seemed to come right from his soul. “Because I don’t have anywhere else to sleep,” he shrugged. “I ran out of money.” He was silent for a moment, wondering just how honest he should be. “I’m supposed to be getting some POW benefits from the government, but you know, bureaucracy is slow.”

“Oh, Buck…” After everything he suffered through under Hydra, after the way the US treated him upon his arrival home, the least his country could do was pay him back. Or provide him with a safe place to sleep. But, once again, they failed him.

“You know that motel you saw me at the other day? I wasn’t there for a hook up; I’ve been staying there-” He corrected himself, “Well, I’ve actually been staying at a few different motels. None of them are extended stay, so I can’t be there more than a few nights.” 

He noticed the way your eyes grew sad, the way your mouth fell open the slightest bit. Heartbreak was written all over your face. “Sorry to disappoint you, I know you hoped I was getting some strange with someone from Tinder,” he shot you a wink and flashed a smile your way. But you couldn’t bring yourself to laugh.

Bucky, of all people, deserved a comfortable home. Someplace warm. Permanent. Someplace he could call his own. Someplace he could feel safe. But, instead, life gave him the short end of the stick. Again. 

“Anyway, no matter how cheap those motels are, paying for them every night adds up, you know? So, now I’m broke,” a rush of heat flooded his cheeks. Admitting to his situation was so embarrassing, so shameful, he thought he might drown in it. He was a grown- overgrown- adult who didn’t even have a roof over his head. “I got a warning from the cops last night -and the night before- for sleeping in the park. But tonight was my third strike, so…” He shrugged, “they arrested me.”

“Jesus Christ, cause not having a place to live is criminal?” you scoffed, “This country is ridiculous.”

“Trust me, it’s not for lack of trying,” Bucky quickly added on. He didn’t want you to think he wasn’t working on it, that he was slacking, that we was complacent in his situation. “I tried for a long time to get an apartment, but I either didn’t have enough money for the deposit or I’d get turned away when they realized who I was. Though it’s not like I could ever make rent…” 

When he learned how much an apartment in Brooklyn cost these days, a suffocating sense of hopelessness swallowed him whole. He knew he’d never be able to afford the one place he ever really saw as home.

“And I tried a few shelters, but they wouldn’t take me, either.” He didn’t know a shelter could turn people away; experiencing it first-hand broke him. “So um, the motels were my only option.”

Sobs blocked your airway and burned the inside of your nose. Tears pooled along your inner lash line; you prayed to god Bucky wouldn’t see them. You could sense his shame, his embarrassment; the last thing he needed was you crying over his circumstances. 

“What um,” you fought to keep your voice steady. “What about Sam?”

Bucky shrugged. “Sam’s been helping me with all the stuff for my benefits and getting my record expunged- he’s been a godsend. And he’s offered to let me stay with him more times than I can count. He’s offered me money- he even snuck some cash into my jacket pocket the other day,” Bucky gave a soft laugh. “But I can’t take any more from him; he’s already done too much for me.”

“I get that…” You knew Sam would happily let Bucky crash. But Bucky wasn’t the type to impose. “Sam’s a good friend.”

“He’s the best. I’m gonna pay him- and you- back, either when my benefits come through or whenever I can get a job. Whichever comes first.” It was a promise, a verbal contract. He didn’t want you thinking he wasn’t good for it- even if he wasn’t good for it quite yet. He knew he would be someday. And as soon as he had the money, you and Sam would be his first priority. 

“I keep applying for jobs on the off chance that someone will cut me some slack, but until my record gets expunged, I’m fucked. Every place I’ve applied to has done a background check, and every time, my name is surrounded by red flags.” He let out a sigh, “I’m still a criminal.”

Your heart buckled. He wasn’t a criminal- he never should’ve been burdened with such a title. He didn’t do anything wrong, he didn’t choose to be the Winter Soldier. But people didn’t care about the truth.

“What about SWORD?”

He shook his head, “They don’t want me. Hiring an ex-Hydra assassin doesn’t really work for their image. They’re trying to steer clear of the whole SHIELD thing…”

The two of you sat in silence for a long moment. Bucky hadn’t originally planned on laying everything so bare, he just couldn’t help himself. Opening up to you came naturally. But in the quiet, he felt naked. Exposed. He regretted spilling the details of his pathetic existence for you to see. 

But you’d never judge him. You simply wanted better for him. And wished he’d come to you when times got tough. 

The shards of your broken heart sliced through you with every breath. Imagining Bucky in rundown, roach infested motels or sleeping on an uncomfortable park bench on a cold night made you want to vomit. Waves of utter devastation crashed into you one after another, barely giving you enough time to breathe. But you couldn’t allow yourself to fall apart. Not when Bucky needed you.

When you finally steadied your breathing, you spoke. “Buck, can I ask- and I don’t mean this in an accusatory way,” you prefaced, “but why didn’t you come to me?”

“Because I care what you think about me,” he said, almost automatically. “Your opinion of me is important.”

“Well, my opinion of you hasn’t changed now that I know what’s been going on…”

A smile fought its way to Bucky’s lips. Logically, he knew you didn’t think less of him now that you knew the truth. He knew you were too kind to look down on him. But his anxiety didn’t think logically. The smile lasted only a second, as his worries about your perception got the better of him. 

“My life is a disaster,” he said. “I have almost nothing to my name. I don’t have any money. I don’t have a place to live. It’s humiliating.” He ran his palms up and down the length of his thighs, fighting the nervous energy. “I wouldn’t have even called you to bail me out if Sam was in town; I didn’t want you to know about all this.” 

Without a word, you pulled back onto the road. 

Bucky eyed the surrounding street, “Um, where are we going?” 

“My place,” you kept your eyes on the road. “I’m taking you to my apartment.”

Panic bloomed in Bucky’s chest. “Oh, no, it’s- that’s okay. I’m fine. You don’t have to do that.” A swell of anxiety barreled into him at the thought of you taking him home like a dirty, stray dog. He didn’t want to be a charity case or your good deed of the day. And as much as he would’ve loved to spend time in your home, he wished to do so under different circumstances. Circumstances that didn’t involve pity.

“You can really just drop me off anywhere-”

His words tore through you. “Buck, it’s late,” you cut a glance at him. “And it’s cold out. I’m not just leaving you on the side of the road somewhere. I-” you cleared your throat, “I care about you” 

Part of him wanted to open the door and jump from the moving car. Surely, it would be less humiliating. But the look on your face kept him from pulling the rip cord. Concern pulled your brows together. Worry made you bite at your lip. You genuinely cared about him, genuinely wanted to help. And though he could actually feel embarrassment seeping from his pores, he chose to stay. Because you caring about him trumped any and every other feeling.

“Okay, so, this is my place,” you said as you led Bucky though the front door of your apartment. You flicked on a few lights and kicked off your shoes, “make yourself at home.”

Bucky didn’t know how to do that anymore.

He stood stone still just inside the door, too overwhelmed and unsure to move. 

“Um, so, obviously, this is the kitchen- and that’s the living room,” you said, pointing to an area with a massive suede couch. “My bedroom and the guest room are down that hall, laundry is to the left, and guest bathroom is to the right, next to the office.” 

Bucky was impressed. The apartment was beautiful. You’d decorated to match your warm personality; it made him instantly comfortable. And it was nice- fancier than anything he could ever dream of affording. He was so proud of you. He knew you’d worked hard to get here, and seeing the fruits of your labor brought a smile to his face. He only wished he could’ve been a part of your journey. 

“This is really nice,” he said, taking a few more steps inside. “Is it all yours? Or do you have a roommate?”

“Nope, no roommate. Just me.”

Bucky’s brows lifted as he drank in the space. You paid for this place all on your own, no help from a roommate. He wondered what it felt like to be that stable, that secure. He never knew where he was sleeping from one night to the next, and you practically lived in a penthouse. 

“Um, we can sit, if you like,” you gestured toward the fancy couch, “it’s more comfortable than it looks, I promise.”

But Bucky didn’t go for it. “Actually, would you mind if I took a shower? I’m just- I feel pretty grimy from the motels. And the park. And the jail,” he felt his cheeks flush at the admission. He really was the filthy mutt you brought home from the pound. “I just don’t wanna sit on your couch when I’m gross like this.”

“Oh, sure. That’s- I totally get it. I should probably change my clothes, too.” 

With a wave of your hand, you gestured for Bucky to follow you to the bathroom. As you guided him through your apartment, he admired the art on your walls and the expensive rugs covering your floors. 

With a clearing of your throat, you gestured to the guest bathroom. “Everything you need should be in there but let me know if I can get you anything else. Can I throw your clothes in the laundry? I’ll wash whatever’s in your bag, too.”

Bucky gave you a strange look, “I appreciate it, but I don’t think you want me walking around here in a towel.”

You didn’t necessarily shy away from the idea, but this wasn’t the time for a suggestive response. “Okay, but- what are you gonna put on after you shower?”

Bucky shrugged, “I don’t know. Whatever I have in my backpack.”

You eyed the bag slung over his shoulder and imagined the heap of clothes he’d balled up and shoved inside. “Are they clean?”

Bucky thought for a moment, “Define ‘clean’.”

“Buck,” you laughed,  “just let me put your stuff in the wash.” You gave his backpack a gentle swat and motioned for him to relinquish it to you.

“So, you do want me walking around in a towel,” Bucky quirked a brow at you. “I knew it.”

“Oh my god,” you rolled your eyes, “just come with me.” 

Bucky did as he was told and followed you into your bedroom. It cloaked him in an instant warmth, a sense of home he hadn’t experienced in eighty years. The whole room seemed to glow with a cozy, welcoming aura. He wondered what it was like to fall asleep here every night, to wake here each morning. Well-loved books populated a large bookcase in the corner, an armchair sat near the window. Bucky could practically see you curled up on its large cushion, your nose buried in Pride and Prejudice. But a photo on the wall near your bed caught his eye. 

“Is that me?” He took a few steps inside your door and found his suspicion to be correct. 

It was a slightly out of focus candid shot of you and Bucky laying on the floor of the war room at the compound. Nat snapped it as the team talked through different strategies to bring everyone back from the blip. In the photo, you sported a massive smile, and had your face smushed against Bucky’s arm to stifle your laughter. Bucky’s eyes were squeezed shut, his metal hand covering his mouth. You were both exhausted, and loopy, enjoying a moment of levity amidst a sea of tragedy.

“That’s my favorite picture,” something about your words came off sad. And Bucky knew it was because of him. The joy, the closeness exhibited in the photo didn’t exist anymore. He’d stripped your friendship of everything warm and left you out in the cold. Alone. 

You made your way over to the dresser and fished around in the bottom drawer, “let’s find you something to wear.”

“Um, I don’t…” Bucky chuckled, “I’m not gonna fit into any of your clothes.”

You cut glance at him, “I know that. That’s why I’m giving you…” With a grand gesture, you unearthed a pair of sweatpants, “your clothes.”

Bucky’s mouth fell open. He stared at the pair of charcoal gray sweats he lent to you ages ago, the pair you loved, the pair he told you to keep. He didn’t say anything when you plopped them in his hands; he was too stunned to speak.

“And here’s this,” you said as you draped a faded blue ‘NYC’ t-shirt over his shoulder. He’d loaned you that shirt so many times back at the compound, you wore it more than he did. Eventually, he started putting it in your closet instead of his on laundry day.

“Now, give me your bag and I’ll throw your stuff in the wash.”

Bucky finally dragged his eyes from the pair of pants and furrowed his brow at you. “Why do you still have this stuff?”

Something in you grew nervous. Was he mad? Or did he think you were a creep for holding onto his things? Maybe it was too weird of a gesture. Maybe you should’ve let him hang around in a towel after all.

“Cause I like wearing it,” you said with trepidation in your voice. “Your clothes were always more comfortable than mine. And I-” you cut yourself off. Saying ‘I miss you’ was too much. Instead, you rerouted, “I like to wear oversized stuff.”

Bucky nodded and gave a quiet “right” before thanking you and heading for the bathroom. At your request, he left his bag in the hall. You scooped it up and dumped his clothes into the washer before doubling back to the bathroom, where Bucky had dropped his dirty jail-clothes outside the door. You changed out of your dirty clothes from the police station and threw them in the laundry with Bucky’s. It was the closest you’d been in months.

Bucky nearly teared up as the water sliced through the layer of grime coating his skin. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a shower this hot. The motels always seemed to have faulty water heaters that only allowed for subzero temperatures. And at some of them, the water didn’t quite run clear. Sometimes, there was a brown tint. Other times, it was gray. And showers like those left only him feeling dirtier. 

But he didn’t want to think about the rust-eaten pipes of the decrepit motels in which he stayed. Instead, he basked in the nearly scalding water, the tiles that didn’t have moldy grout. For the first time in a while, he didn’t feel like a husk of himself, but a real person. All his time shuffling between park benches and rat-infested motels had stripped him of his personhood. And something as simple as a shower restored it. Though, deep down, he knew it wasn’t the incredible water pressure or the lavender body wash that had him feeling human again. It was you.

With the entirety of Bucky’s wardrobe in the washing machine, you paced lap after lap around the kitchen. Only a few days ago, you feared you’d never see Bucky again. And now, he was in your shower. After your chilly reunion at the diner, you couldn’t help but be mad at him, no matter how much you’d missed him. He was cool and aloof. He didn’t open up. And he didn’t seem at all interested in repairing your friendship.

But listening to him in the car laid almost every piece of the puzzle out before you. And though there were still gaps and empty spots, you nearly had the picture complete. Bucky didn’t ice you out because he hated you or didn’t want you anymore. He was simply too embarrassed to admit what he was going through. 

A sharp twinge of guilt needled at you. You shouldn’t have been mad at him after what happened at the diner. You shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions or assumed the worst. Bucky deserved better. You should’ve known in your heart that he was only pushing you away to protect himself. It was his nature; it always had been. You’d just been too hurt to see it.

“Your shower is unbelievable,” Bucky said as he padded into the kitchen, his hair still damp. “And those towels? They’re amaz-” A stack of Tupperware on the island caught his attention. “What’s all this?”

“Leftovers. I cooked dinner earlier tonight…” You shrugged, “I thought you might be hungry.”

He shifted his wide-eyed gaze from the food, forcing his eyes to land anywhere else. “Oh, no, that’s okay. I’m fine.”

You quirked a brow at him, “You’re not hungry?”

“No.” It was quiet but firm. 

“Really? Cause the Bucky I knew needed to eat like, six thousand calories a day.” Bucky’s insatiable hunger was a running joke between the two of you back then. He always finished your food when you couldn’t clear your plate, and snacked on anything he could get his hands on. On one occasion, he even fell asleep in your bed with his hand in bag of honey mustard pretzels. Hearing him refuse food was strange, almost alarming. “You always called yourself ‘Earth’s hungriest hero’”.

Bucky gave a small laugh, “yeah, damn super soldier serum will do that to your metabolism.”

You stared at him, “So…” 

“So?”

“So, do you want something to eat?” 

“No, really,” he shook his head, “I’m fine.” 

But you noticed the way his stare always returned to the stack of containers. Even after he’d pulled his focus from the food, his eyes found their way back. You sensed a longing in him, a deep desperation that left you gutted. Any jovial, lighthearted quality your words held fell to the wayside, making way for concern. 

“Buck, when’s the last time you ate?”

Bucky did his best to think back to his last meal but couldn’t find an answer. Part of him wanted to lie, to appease you with details of a made-up dinner from earlier that night. But he didn’t get the chance; his pause was too long for your liking. 

“Okay, if it’s taking you that long to remember, you need to eat.” It wasn’t an offer or a request, but an order. “Help yourself.”

But once again, he shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I don’t want to impose-”

“It’s not an imposition,” your words came out with an unexpected fierceness; it almost sounded like a scold. The idea, the mere suggestion that Bucky could impose on you was ridiculous. You took a breath and softened your tone, “I live alone, and every recipe is for more than one person. There’s plenty.”

Before Bucky could refuse again, you opened the Tupperware and allowed him a look at the fruits of your labor. “There’s roasted chicken with rosemary and thyme, garlic mashed potatoes, and maple-glazed brussels sprouts.” Bucky’s eyes lit up. You could practically see drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. 

A sense of satisfaction enveloped you, like you’d finally banished Bucky’s unnecessary fear of imposition. But just in case he wasn’t sure, just in case you hadn’t won him over, you threw one last piece of information his way. “Oh, and there’s chocolate chip cookies over there.”

Bucky was almost overwhelmed. He took in the beautiful spread and gave the cookies a long glance; it was almost too much. “Woah, you weren’t kidding…” He gave a small laugh, “this is a lot of food.”

You shrugged, “I don’t know how to cook for one.”

With that, you handed Bucky a plate and let him go to town. He filled his dish with chicken, mashed potatoes, and brussels sprouts. But the look on his face signaled more relief than joy, more solace than happiness. You wondered how long he’d been without food, how long he’d worried about where his next meal would come from. As he stood over those plastic containers, that anxiety vanished- for the most part.

A debate raged inside of Bucky’s head. He was famished, literally starving. And you’d given him full access to a massive meal. But he didn’t want to overdo it. He knew he shouldn’t empty your Tupperware and leave you with nothing; he just he didn’t know when he’d eat again. And he could practically feel his body digesting itself. 

Before he could tighten the reigns, though, you spoke up. “Seriously, Buck, don’t be shy. I can’t finish all of this- it’ll just go bad.”

He nearly broke down. For so long, he knew only wanting, only appetite, only emptiness. And you offered him a respite. “I haven’t had a home cooked meal in…” Once again, his pause was too long; it crushed you. “Anyway, I really appreciate this.” He pulled his gaze from the food and gave you a long look filled with admiration. “And I’m impressed- I didn’t know you were such a culinary talent. I distinctly remember you burning ramen noodles to a blackened crisp more than once.”

The laugh that erupted from your chest filled the kitchen, “Well, I distinctly remember you eating my disgusting ramen without hesitation.”

Back when things were good between you and Bucky, you’d always volunteer to make dinner. Between strategy sessions and long, complicated meetings, the team simply forgot to eat. But you knew they needed nourishment to make defeating Thanos a realistic option. No one, however, wanted your charred ramen. Except for Bucky. He always accepted your offerings with a kind smile and a mountain of appreciation. He was grateful, no matter how awful it tasted, because it came from you.

“My therapist actually suggested I get into cooking,” you told Bucky as he popped his plate in the microwave. “I was really depressed and stopped caring about eating or taking care of myself. It felt pointless. But she told me some people find comfort in cooking. It’s almost meditative, you know? And if you focus on the recipe, you can’t think about all the um, the painful stuff.” 

Bucky knew he was ‘the painful stuff’.

“There was a bit of a learning curve, but now,” you shrugged, “I love it.”

“Oh, wow, that awesome. So you get some peace and a delicious meal? Sounds like a good deal.” He mulled it over, wishing he had a kitchen into which he could retreat. But the motels only ever had a microwave, and most of the time, it didn’t work.

“I had a therapist- well, a court appointed therapist,” he said, “she was the worst.”

You sighed. Why were things always so hard for him? Why did people treat him so terribly? 

“What was so terrible about her?”

“Honestly, I think she hated me,” defeat coated his words. “She was mean- I know that sounds childish, but I mean, the things she said were biting. They hurt. And she did it on purpose. I left every session feeling worse.” He thought back on his sessions with Dr. Raynor, on how she broke him down piece by piece until he was only a pile of ash. “She said I wasn’t a victim, and that I needed to take responsibly for the things I did and the choices I made.”

Anger surged inside your chest, “The choices you made?”

He nodded. “She was actually so terrible that I thought she worked for Hydra. I thought they were trying to get me back and that she was working undercover with them to manipulate me.” A small laugh broke free from his chest, “But she wasn’t. She’s just an asshole.”

“Jesus Christ, Buck…” You couldn’t imagine anyone being so awful, so hateful, toward Bucky. He was kind and warm. He showed people compassion and understanding. Why the world didn’t show him the same baffled you. “I hope you don’t see her anymore.”

He removed his plate from the microwave, “Oh, I don’t.” 

You sighed with relief, but it was a short-lived respite.

“I couldn’t afford to.”

He dove into his food before you could even usher him to the table. Between huge bites of potatoes and chicken, he praised your cooking. He swore on his life that this was some of the best food he’d ever had. It warmed your heart for a brief moment, but reality put a stop to the fuzzy feeling. Sure, you were a good cook. But you were certain than Bucky’s gushing compliments were the product of his empty stomach. He couldn’t even determine how long it had been since his last meal; of course, he was going to inhale his food with gusto and deem it ‘the best’.

It gnawed at you to see him like this. He laughed as you guided him to the table and settled into the seat across from him, but you didn’t match his lighthearted energy. He’d been struggling, suffering in silence without knowing where he’d get his next meal. For decades, Bucky knew nothing but pain. He was tortured, abused, treated like an animal. Hydra infected him like a parasite and devoured him from the inside out. They saddled him with PTSD and enough demons to fill even the deepest pits of hell. And after all that, life refused to give him a break. It killed you.

“I thought- correct me if I’m wrong, but- I thought court appointed therapy was paid for...” 

“Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t,” Bucky said with a mouth full of brussels sprouts. “It depends on the situation”. He threw a shrug your way and speared a piece of chicken with his fork, but a thought stopped him from shoveling it into his mouth. “Even if my appointments were supposed to be covered, I don’t think anyone wanted to give me anything for free.”

A heavy silence fell over the room. Only the sound of Bucky’s fork scraping his plate interrupted the blanket of quiet. But the stillness made him squirm. Suddenly, he piped up.

“So, I did the required amount of sessions with that therapist and promised myself I’d never go back. It was tough, but I made it work. I scraped by.” His gaze took on a hollow quality, “That’s when I started staying in the really shitty places. The ones with asbestos and mold. And there was this one place where the sheets were stained with what looked like blood.” He grimaced, “I haven’t been back there.”

You forced a laugh, “Good call.”

Bucky shifted his focus back to his plate; he’d sprinted through his meal, leaving only a few bites remaining. The flicker of a frown ghosted across his face. The food was gone too soon, replaced by an empty plate. He was tired of everything in his life being empty- his bank account, his stomach, his heart. But he didn’t dare let himself wallow in self-pity with you sitting mere inches away. Instead, he overcorrected with a large smile, hoping you hadn’t noticed the look of disappointment he wore just moments earlier. He’d rather die than appear ungrateful, even if his hunger pangs had already returned.

“You can help yourself to seconds, there’s more than enough,” you took a look at the containers still sitting on the counter. Even after he’d piled his plate high, not a dent was made. “You can have thirds, fourths- I don’t care.”

Bucky shook his head as he cleaned his plate, “No, that’s alright. I’m good. Thank you, though.”

It was an egregious lie; maybe the worst you’d ever heard. 

“Buck, I can practically hear your stomach rumbling from here.” You knew him. Even after all this time apart, you knew him. You knew he was still hungry, especially after having gone so long without eating. His metabolism burned through fuel at a massively accelerated pace; he needed the calories. “Please, have some more.”

Once again, he shook his head. “I’m okay, really,” he gave you a smile. “Plus, I don’t want you to think I’m a freeloader.”

His words struck you in a strange way. Bucky never used to worry about your perception of him. And you never thought twice about how he saw you. There was a mutual respect and sense of comfort that didn’t fall victim to judgement. You accepted each other without hesitation. But Bucky couldn’t find his sense of security. He shifted in his seat and averted his eyes every so often, fearful of your inner monologue.

“Why are you so worried about what I think?”

Confusion lifted Bucky’s brow, “what do you mean?”

“You just said that you don’t want me to think you’re a freeloader. And in the car earlier, you said you didn’t reach out and ask me for help because you care about what I think.” You shrugged, “I just want to know why my opinion matters so much to you.”

“Because you’re my friend,” his tone was sure, steadfast. “I’ve always cared about your opinion.”

“Yeah,” hearing him call you his friend eased some of the tension in your neck. “And I care about what you think of me, too, but- I was never worried about it.” A sudden thought popped into your head, “I mean, I’ve been worrying about it lately, cause it kinda seemed like you hated my guts for a while there, but…” 

Bucky stared down at his empty plate. He didn’t want you pulling at this thread, didn’t want you unraveling his thought process. He prayed you’d drop the whole thing and move on. 

You didn’t.

“Sam’s your friend, too. Don’t you care what he thinks?” You feared coming on too strong, but you needed answers. “He knows about what you’ve been going through. You let him help you. You didn’t-” you stopped yourself. 

Bucky gave you an expectant look, “I didn’t what?”

“You didn’t cut him off.”

Bucky’s face fell. You never meant to hurt him, to make him feel bad about pushing you away. No matter how badly he hurt you, you’d never throw it in his face- especially after you learned why he did it.

“Buck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like-”

 “No, don’t apologize,” a sad smile crossed his face. “You’re right.” He was quiet for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. He planned on having this conversation with you someday, months from now. He didn’t have his script organized, didn’t know how to best express what he was feeling. Worry encapsulated him. What if he misspoke? What if he messed things up even worse?

“Things with Sam are different. He and I became friends because of Steve. We promised him we’d look out for each other.”

It sounded all too familiar. “You and I promised each other the same thing…” It was a pinky promise made on the living room floor of the compound. In the middle of the night, by the light of the fireplace, you swore to be there for one another come hell or high water. Never did you even consider breaking that covenant, that bond. You upheld your end of the bargain without issue. But Bucky fell short. 

He thought about that promise every night, berating himself for breaking it until he fell asleep. 

He sighed, “I know we did, but- that’s not the same thing. You and I became friends when everything fell apart. The entire universe was in chaos, everyone’s lives imploded.” He dragged his gaze downward, “You and I were on an even playing field back then.”

“What do you mean?”

“Back then, we were equals,” a faint smile flickered on his lips at the thought of those days he spent with you. They were dark, sure, but he remembered them fondly. Those were the days when he never left your side, the days when we woke up and fell asleep next to you. His favorite days. “We slept on the floor at the compound. We lived off ramen and red bull and worked around the clock to try and figure out how bring everyone back. We struggled. Together. But now…” He looked around your beautiful kitchen, “everything is okay again, and everyone has gone back to their lives. You’re doing well- really well. And I’m stillstruggling. I’m in almost the exact same position as I was back then.”

Words formed a traffic jam in your throat. Each new idea of how to comfort Bucky seemed too sappy, too corny. Just as a new phrase tried to exit your lips, you swallowed it. How were you supposed to make him feel better? How were you going to make any of this okay?

Bucky knew you were at a loss. He could see your desperate attempts to come up with a fix-it phrase for his situation, a way to assuage the way he felt. All you ever wanted was to make him feel better. “You have this great apartment and you’re working for SWORD. You found your way out. Meanwhile, I’m scrounging together any cash I can find to pay for a few nights in a rat-infested motel. Or I’m sleeping in the park- and getting arrested for it.”

He was going through a hard time- a really hard time. His life was in shambles and a new hardship greeted him at every turn. But you couldn’t make sense of his departure from your life. If anything, he should’ve grown closer to you, shouldn’t he? He should’ve leaned on you, asked you for help, sought comfort in your arms. 

“I guess I’m just- does that automatically mean we can’t be friends?”

Bucky’s humiliation piled on top of itself. It grew with each breath, with each passing moment. Admitting just how destitute he was, how utterly lacking- it destroyed him. “No, but- who wants to be friends with that guy? Who wants to hang out with the guy who can’t figure his shit out?” A strange mixture of frustration and melancholy dripped from his words. “I have nothing. And I’m just not- I can’t be your friend yet.”

His words hit you like a train. “We were already friends; you were my closest friend-”

“We were rock bottom friends,” his voice was low, hollow. “We were wartime friends.” It came out almost as a recitation, as thought this was something he told himself to justify his actions. 

You swore he made up that phrase right there in your kitchen. It seemed more like an excuse than an explanation. “What does that even mean?”

“A wartime friend, it’s- it’s the person you cling to when the world implodes. The person you’d never actually be friends with in real life, but you lean on them when life falls apart because they’re just- they’re there.”

The day you two met, Bucky found you crying in a supply closet at the compound. You were at the end of your rope, heartbroken over the loss of friends and family. Never had you experienced such an earth-shattering loss. You had no one- nothing. But Bucky was there for you. For a moment, you weren’t alone. You had someone. And he quickly became your favorite someone.

“People get desperate during wartime, you know?” Bucky continued, “They’ll befriend anyone if it brings them even a sliver of peace or comfort.”

“So, you thought-”

“I thought for sure that’s what you were doing.” 

Bucky stood from his chair. Anxiety ate away at him from the inside, leaving him unable to sit any longer. “I mean, you knew who I was. You knew I was a mentally ill, train wreck of a person. I figured we’d buddy up until the clouds parted- since neither of us had any other options- and then when things when back to normal, you’d find your real friends.”

He considered himself a consolation prize, a leftover. He didn’t know that, from the very beginning, you considered him a ‘real’ friend.

“But after knowing you for a few days, I wasn’t okay with that anymore,” his words came out hurried, almost frantic. “I wanted to be friends with you for real. I wanted you to want me around after we fixed everything. But I knew there was no way you’d want me as a friend outside of the shitstorm.” 

The realization played out across his face in real time. You watched happiness turn to disappointment, to despair, to desperation. 

“So, I just resigned myself to enjoy our time while it lasted. I knew it was all the friendship I could ever hope to get from you-” A shy smile pulled at his lips, “though, I was lucky to be close to you for any measure of time.” 

The smile faded, “but then when it was all over, and things went back to normal, you kept reaching out. You kept trying to get in touch with me and I- I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t make sense of it-” 

You gave a small shake of your head, “I missed you. I needed you. I just wanted to see you…”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to react. I panicked.” The nervous energy left Bucky’s buddy all at once. He slid into his chair and let his spine rest heavy against the wood. A sense of dejection befell him like and angry, icy sleet. “I didn’t want you to see me struggle in real life. I didn’t want you to see how much my actual life resembled the disaster we’d been living in. Cause when you look at my situation in the cold light of day it’s…” he swallowed the urge to hide from his humiliation. “It’s ugly. There’s no romanticizing what I’m dealing with.”

“I know you’re going through a lot right now.” For the first time in almost a year, you reached across the table for his hand. And for the first time in almost a year, he let you. “But Buck, you are not the only person struggling. I know it feels that way, but there are still so many people trying to get their lives on track after the blip- I’m still trying to get my head right. No one has a perfect life.”

Bucky gave a gentle scoff, “I know, but yours is a lot closer to perfect than mine.”

Again, you found yourself at a loss. No pep talk, no encouraging words, could make Bucky feel better about his situation. And nothing you could say had the power to fix how he felt about the state of his life. Instead of speaking, you opted to wrap his hand in both of yours the way you used to. You only hoped it would comfort him like the old days.

After a while, Bucky spoke again, “I just wanted to get my life together before I saw you again. You know? Cause my situation right now is embarrassing. I was afraid to admit the truth of my reality.”

You nodded, “And that’s why-”

“That’s why I was so weird when we ran into each other the other day,” he confirmed. He cringed at the way he acted, the way he treated you. It was all wrong. “I knew you saw me leave the motel. I knew I couldn’t pay for a meal at that diner. I was afraid that, as we spent more time together, you’d put the puzzle pieces in place and figure out that I’m a mess.”

His sense of frantic desperation reclaimed him all at once. He leaned forward and captured your hands in his own as his gaze bore into yours. “I never wanted to cut you out of my life- you have to know that. I need you to know that.” 

Tears formed along your lash line, creating a haze around your vision. “I know.”

“I just needed time,” he said. “I needed time to prove that I’m not a loser, that I’m good enough- I just wanted to be good enough for you.”

“Buck, you didn’t have to prove anything to me. And what do you mean you needed to be good enough? I’ve only ever wanted you to be yourself...” It was the most certain, the surest you’d ever been of anything. Bucky was exactly enough. He was himself, and that was all you could ever ask.

“And hey, I bailed you out of jail tonight without having any idea what you did- I didn’t even ask. I didn’t care. I was going to be there for you, regardless. Because I care about you.”

The storm clouds in his eyes parted. He hadn’t even thought about that, about how you paid for his release without context. If ever he doubted how you felt about him, that gesture was enough to set him straight.

He bowed his head a moment, thanking his lucky stars for your gracious nature. “I know you care about me. And I’m so sorry I abandoned you like that- I never wanted to hurt you. I just didn’t know what to do…”

“It’s okay,” you sniffled. 

Bucky freed your hands for a moment, allowing you to wipe the tears flowing down your cheeks. He recaptured them as soon as he could, even if your knuckles were still damp. 

“Well, it’s not okay- like, don’t do it again,” you joked. “But I understand now why you felt the way you felt. And you understand that I want you in my life, full stop. Right?”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah, I get that now.”

With the deepest sigh of relief you could muster, you banished the feeling of abandonment Bucky with which Bucky saddled you. You shed your fears, your worries. The deep pit that formed in your stomach all those months ago closed, the prickling anxiety in your chest faded away. And for the first time in long time, you breathed easy.

“Just so you know- and I don’t wanna hear any complaints or refusals on this-” you gave Bucky a look, prompting him to nod in agreement. “You have to have at least one more plate of food.”

A rebuttal brewed beneath Bucky’s surface, his fear of imposing rearing its ugly head. He’d already called in a massive favor, had you pay his bail, used your shower, and eaten your food. The anxiety of overstepping vibrated inside his skull. But he kept his promise and nodded in agreement. 

“And-”

“And?” he gave you an exasperated look. 

You gave a firm nod, “Yes, there’s an ‘and’!” 

Bucky sighed out a tired laugh, “What more could there be?” A sudden darkness eclipsed his expression. His smile fell, his laugh halted. Anxiety had him by the throat. His snaked his hands away from yours and tightened them into tight fists. “I already feel like I’m taking advantage…”

“You’re not. I promise.” All at once, you were fed up with sitting across from him. You needed to be closer, as close as possible. Bucky needed to feel your sincerity, to hear your words loud and clear. In a flash, you gave up your seat across the table for the one right next to him. “You can’t impose or take advantage- not here. Because…”

Bucky eyed you with a nervous glance, “because?”

“Because… you live here now!” A victorious laugh fluttered out of your throat, “Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

Shock overtook Bucky’s expression. He didn’t know what to say, what to do. His heart raced, his hand shook. All color drained from his face. “No, I can’t- that’s too nice…” He stared at you, “Are you serious?”

You nodded, “Dead serious. This is your home now, too.” Suddenly, you felt the need to clarify. “But only if you want. This isn’t like, a hostage situation or anything.”

Bucky’s head fell back in a loud laugh that nearly brought tears to your eyes. He hadn’t felt this carefree, this at peace, in a very long time. He didn’t remember the last time he laughed this way. 

“Well, that is a relief,” he said with a chuckle. “I’d love to live here with you, I’d be- I’m so…” Suddenly, his hands found yours. He squeezed your fingers until your pulse throbbed against your skin. His anxiety practically seeped into your bones. “But I swear, I’m not gonna stop looking for a job or trying to get my benefits. I promise. I’m not gonna sit around like a deadbeat and mooch off you-”

“Buck, don’t worry about that right now, okay?” 

He shook his head, “And I won’t stay here too long, I’ll-”

“Hey,” With great effort, you pulled your hands from his and places your palms against his cheeks. “There’s no move out date. There’s no ticking clock. You’re allowed to live here as long as you want- I want you here.” You shot him a smile, “Plus, I’ve missed you- a lot. So this arrangement is good for me, too.”

A swirling cloud of worry hovered above Bucky’s head. He was overwhelmed, you could tell. He tensed his jaw, his shoulders. His every muscle went rigid. “But are you sure? This is generous- it’s too generous.”

“I’m sure. Here-” You stood from your chair and gestured for him to do the same, “I thought you might need this.”

With that, you enveloped him in a tight hug. Back at the compound, a hug from you could solve any and every problem for Bucky. And his embrace did the same for you. There was something so warm, so welcoming about the arms of the other. It was salvation, it was solace. It was home. Without a place to live, Bucky could survive. But without you, without his home, he’d been lost. As he wrapped his arms around you, though, his entire world changed. And the severed soul tie you feared would never heal grew back once again, stronger than ever.

-----------------------------------------

@beefybuckrrito @shadytalementality  @everything-burns-down @rainbow-unicorn-pony  @mandersshow @breakablebarnes @psychoticmason @glxwingrxse @lonewolf471 @dreamerglassesgirl  @the-gods-gloted-but-they-burned @purpleshallot @seitmai @itvy5601 @dailyreverie  @navs-bhat @eviesaurusrex @themorningsunshine  @evangeliamerryll @buckys-metal-arm @broadwaybabe18 @the-kestrels-feather  @avocadotoastwithegg @goldylions @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @vrittivsanghavi @idkitsem @avengetheunnatural @rassvetsky @hereforbuckyandsteve @barnesselo @juvellian @samanthacookieone @frombkjar @blackbirdsinatrenchcoat

[selineram3421]

👁️

You're Off-key

Part 1

Prologue

Reader X Gravity Falls

Warnings ⚠

⚠ italics=thoughts, swear words, some or many book of bill spoils, blood, mentions of a concussion, minor panic attack, we pacing now lol, ugh Disney mention ⚠

Ow..

You woke up in pain and the sunlight hitting your eyes.

Everything hurt.

Like a lot.

Geez.. You thought with a groan. Why is everything so bright? What is this vividness? Disney?

Sitting up, you notice that you're still in the woods and it's around noon or at least in the afternoon. Rubbing the back of your head, you try to remember what happened.

I was in the woods..with spaghetti and..my best friend was going to take my picture. Ow-!

You hiss and you pull your hand away from your head, finding blood once getting a look at it.

"Oof ok, time to go get help.", you said to yourself and stood up.

Like any gamer out there, you checked your surroundings before checking your inventory. So far you were deep in the woods that looked oddly..cartoonish? And you had a backpack nearby with a water bottle, phone, and wallet inside.

Where's my flashlight? Wait, I had a flashlight? Also, where's by bestie?

Every time you thought about it your head would start hurting.

"Never mind that, I have to get moving before it gets dark out.", you sighed and began walking.

In all honesty, you did not know where you were going. Just picked a direction and decided that was good enough. Maybe you'll find civilization or maybe you're walking deeper into the woods. Who knows!

My brain is a little optimistic right now. You thought. Or maybe it's due to lack of sleep.. I was driving the whole time.

Then you started getting a little clumsy.

Tripping, swaying, falling flat on your face a few times, and overall just feeling drained. Also, you kept hearing maracas? Was that some kind of bird or something?

Ah, wait. Wasn't that the Hide Behind? You remembered about reading it in Journal 3 and that scene when Mabel says maraca owl. Maybe it is a maraca owl or maybe it's the tall thing that follows people.

Currently, you were laying on the ground because you fell..haha. AGAIN.

Thank Glob you landed on grass this time.

Ok. Do I or do I not take a nap? Probably not the best choice because I might have a concussion. Hm..the choices.

Deciding on one last try, you push yourself off the ground, take a quick sip of water, and continue on your journey! Nothing was gonna stop you now-!

Oh, a bird!

Then you ran into something, fell back and hit your head on the ground.

It was silly because it was kinda like a light switch.

You were awake and then you passed out,

Ha!

⯅

OW! How many times am I going to wake up in pain!?

"Great job Dipper! You killed someone!", a feminine voice said.

"They aren't dead! They just hit their head and passed oUt after they fell!", another voice says with a slight voice crack.

"Haha ha!", the girl laughs. "Your voice cracked."

Slowly waking up, you feel a type of rocking motion, like you're in a car or something.

A car!?

You sit up quickly. Too quickly and almost fall out of the golf cart but someone manages to pull you back to the seat.

"Whoa! Careful, you do not want to fall out of this thing when going almost full speed.", the female voice says next to you.

Looking over, you find a brown haired girl wearing a keyboard sweater.

"Hi! I'm Mabel! I have a pet pig named Waddles!!", she introduces herself loudly.

You feel your head hurt at her polite screeching.

"Ow. Hold on, give me a sec.", you say and rub your forehead.

"Uh.. Mabel? It's not a good idea to be loud around someone who just woke up after hitting their head.", the guy says, who you are assuming is driving the golf cart.

"Oops.", the girl, Mabel, smiles at you sheepishly. "My bad."

You wave her off.

"It's fine, I've dealt with worse.", you reassure.

"Let me start again.", she says and extends a hand for you to shake. "I'm Mabel and the one driving the golf cart is my twin brother, Dipper."

"STOP THE CART!"

The golf cart screeches to a stop and you hobbled your way out, beginning to pace back and forth.

Holyshitthisexplainsalot!That'swhyeverythingwassobrightandcartoonybecasuethisisfuckingDisneyshit!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH-!

"Uh..you ok there?", Mabel asks.

"Um? Maybe? I-", you begin but then panic about what to say next.

Shitshitshitshit! Think of something! Anything!

"I don't remember how I got into the woods..", you say and cringe.

Yeah! Nice job! Now you're suspicious! YA DOINKUS!

"O..k, so you hit your head harder than we thought.", Dipper speaks up. "Let's get you patched up and see what we can do from there, ok?"

Pros: Going with two of your favorite characters will lead to adventures. Cons: They might try to read your mind to see if you're a threat and might threaten you with some random weapons..

.....

"I guess I can go with you guys until I can go to the hospital or something.", you say and finally stop imprinting foot prints into the dirt.

"Cool!", Mabel cheers. "Let's go! I've got Mabel juice in the fridge and I wanna see if the new dinosaurs inside taste different!"

"That's not how that works.", her brother mumbles and puts the golf cart in drive.

Hopping back on, you notice your backpack was opened.

"Uh? Who raccooned into my pack?", you asked.

"Racooned?", the Pines driving asks.

"Dug through your stuff? That was Dip.", Mabel says, completely understanding what you meant.

"Oh, sorry.", Dipper pipes up. "That was to see your ID, nothing else. I mean, wouldn't you try to identify someone after they passed out randomly?"

He is kinda right.

"Understandable racooning.", you say and start to brain storm ideas for a plan on how to stay under the radar.

Ok, so I might have/most likely freed Bill and now I have to do something about it before he's running wild around Gravity Falls again...fun.

You sigh and just decide to sit back and enjoy the ride for now.

Jerk didn't let me keep the pictures.

The sun was starting to set, within a few minutes you saw the Mystery Shack in the distance.

23 1 12 11 9 14 20 15 20 8 5 16 9 14 5 19

~Seline, the person.

Part 2

Taglist@

@diffidentphantom @sleep-7372 @boredwithlifeatthispoint @mspurpl3 @+?

GF List🏞️ | YO-🎹

[space-matt]

Could I request a Matt x reader.They have been dating for a while but the reader has never left that honey moon stage.One day Matt is not having a good day and the readers presence make him on edge.He ends up blowing up on her calling her overbearing and clingy.Things shift and she becomes more distant,for a while he feels ok but he starts to miss the relationship they way it was before.when he tries to talk to the reader she cries to him about the whole situation.He is really sorry and does his best to make it up to her.

I’ll make it up to you 

matt.sturniolo x fem.reader

summary: It's really true that you understand the value of things when you lose them.. Matt figured it out too late, but will he be able to make up for it?

request: yes 

author’s note: thank u so much for the request!! I hope you’ll enjoy it ♡ I added the song that helped me to write it. For everything I’m here!

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English is not my first language, if you see grammar and typing mistakes, I apologize in advance! I just ask you not to be rude to me ♡

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revised

Still lying in bed you feel the heat coming from the window left half open in Matt’s room, with your eyes closed you stretch by turning to the other side meeting a boulder of a blanket, you reach out your hand in search of your favorite person but to your surprise, your hand leans on the mattress, so you open your eyes trying to focus and notice that half of the bed is empty.

You've been together for seven months and thirteen days now, and you have to say that they are the best months of your life; Having never had previous relationships, it can be said that Matt is your first true and actual relationship in your 20 years of life. 

Everything had started as a pure joke between you two to make fun of Chris and his girlfriend Maddy, but the more time passed, the more you began to feel real feelings towards the boy who unlike you had liked you for a long time, but for fear of being considered only and solely a friend, he wanted to avoid putting his heart in the foreground and listening to the rational part of his brain. 

But fate wanted that one evening while you were saying goodbye to go to your own house, the moment you were about to press a kiss against his cheek, Matt turned earlier than expected causing your lips to collide, making you immediately move away but when you stopped to look into his eyes you saw in both of them a spark to burst a breathless kiss.

It must be said, from that moment you have been together, indeed perhaps precisely because it is your first relationship that you try to always make everything go for the best unlike Matt who still had his first relationships during his adolescence that, however, according to him, ''they can't compete with you''. Of course, it scares you that sooner or later it may get bored or otherwise lose interest in you, but you still try to eliminate this thought and be the best girlfriend in the world. 

So you get out of bed by completely opening the window so that the room can change air, leaving the bed undone; Take your change in the drawer that Matt has free so that you can put some of your things when you stay at his house to sleep, and you head to the next bathroom without noticing who is in the open space connected by a small corridor to his room.

Meanwhile Matt was lying on the sofa, the TV turned on in the background, with the phone in his hand looking at the various social networks but his mind was elsewhere, indeed the day had started in the wrong direction.

All night you did nothing but stay attached to him not making him move, which didn't make him sleep a wink and that's why he was quite nervous.

His brothers were still in their respective rooms changing, as they would then be out all day under your precise instructions, as you wanted to spend a day entirely with Matt before leaving for spring break in two weeks. 

When Nick and Chris find themselves in the living room ready to go out, Matt pulls up his head ''Do we have any meetings today?'' He asks confused getting up and putting the phone in his pocket ''The two of us yes, you have the day off today.. enjoy it'' Chris replies with a grin on his face which vanishes when he hears a puff from him ''Wow I didn't expect all this enthusiasm '' exclaims ironic Nick going to the door of the house ''Please let me come with you, I need to disconnect, I need air'' Matt responds whispering so as not to be heard by you ''Sorry MattyB but no'' says Chris taking a can of Pepsi from the fridge and then he goes out too.

Another puff comes out of his lips knowing he has to stay with you all day, and resignedly throws himself back on the couch closing his eyes.

When he feels your steps approaching a sense of annoyance and nervousness pervades his body, he can't even understand the reason for all this but it's already been a couple of days that he just wants to have a moment for him, but with you in the middle it's almost completely impossible.

On the other hand, you do not notice anything different, perhaps because taken by too much love even the most obvious things go unnoticed by your eyes in the shape of a little heart. 

All happy you go to the kitchen take water pouring it into a glass, you notice Matt on the sofa, you leave the glass on the counter and go in his direction lowering yourself to his height ''Babe, let's go out for breakfast?'' you ask trying to caress his hair but at your touch, he moves by sitting down looking at you ''I can't, I have to go out'' he responds annoyed without even looking at you, leaving you a little surprised but doesn't give up trying with a ''Then when you come back we can go for a ride at Lake Hollywood Park, right?'' hopeful in one of his answers but the only thing he pronounces is a ''See you later'' without greeting you and leaving the house, leaving you standing in the middle of the living room. 

The hours go by and so does your enthusiasm, you start thinking about the worst situations in your mind, which do nothing but increase your paranoia;

Okay maybe you recognize that in the last period, you have always been with them but although it has been almost a year since you moved to Los Angeles, you have not been able to make many friends due to your armor that you tend to raise when it comes to new people. But with Nick, Chris, and Matt it's different, you've known them since you were little, and with them, there was never a need to create a wall to protect you, because they are your guardian angels.

You've always gotten along, except for a few quarrels which is normal, but you've never noticed before behaviors so distant from Matt, as if your presence wasn't welcome.

When you hear the door open you hope that your boyfriend's figure will come out of the stairs but you recognize the voices of Chris and Nick, you resign yourself completely on the couch with your pajamas and the tray of ice cream on your legs.

''Ookay... why are you at home? Didn't you have to go out?'' Nick asks looking at you confused ''By the way where is Matt?'' Keep looking around ''I have no idea'' you answer him in a subtle voice while you eat a spoonful of vanilla ice cream, you feel the tears stop at the corners of your eyes, so you don't see you turn your head on the other side putting the teaspoon in the tray ''He came out this morning and never came back, I tried to text him and call him a couple of times but I didn't receive an answer'' you keep whispering closing your eyes making the tears fall.

You feel the package of ice cream being removed from your legs and two arms that surround you, from the essence that envelops you, you recognize that is Chris and with your eyes still closed you abandon yourself in a liberating cry after holding it all day ''Shh, it's okay'' he whispers massaging your back ''You know that now and then he has its relapses and behaves like this'' he keeps trying to reassure you.

You pull up with your nose and detach yourself from his arms ''But with me, he had never behaved this way.. at all he always came to me'' you explain looking in his direction receiving almost an expression of pity on his face ''What do you say if we order something and watch a movie here all together? We will make you choose'' announces trying to cheer you up But on your part, he only receives a nod with your head.

Even though he had spent the whole day outside walking around the crowded streets of Santa Monica, his mind did nothing but think about the time to get home, the only thought of having you always stuck made him take his breath away, of course he cared you but this so much physical contact, at that time, was leading him to detach himself from everything, but especially from you.

That's why he had waited for a late time to come back, so as not to have to face you trying to postpone everything to the day of your departure. But you know how his thought works more than yourself, in this way after finishing watching your comfort movie together with the two boys, you decide not to go to sleep right away but to stay on the couch not being able to stay alone in bed without Matt by your side, with the knowledge of having done something wrong. 

The fact that there was no communication between the two of you was new, you have always been the anchor of each other, and not being it in a short time has completely upset you, especially not understanding how to act, and consequently how to find a solution. 

The silence that reigns in the house is broken by the noise of the keys that are inserted into the door patch, your heart begins to beat quickly but you remain motionless sitting with your gaze turned in his direction, while he tries to slowly climb the entrance stairs but when it reaches the last one, he stops seeing you pulling his eyes up ''you shouldn’t have waited up for me, there was no need'' he says changing towards the fridge taking a bottle of water but no longer being able to hold back your thoughts for you ''What have I done? It's all day that you avoid me indeed it's days that you behave strangely'' you blurt out getting up to get closer to him, and given your height difference you are forced to pull up your head to look him better in the eyes.

As you stand in front of Matt, you can feel the bitterness in his words cutting deep into your heart. "What did you do to me?" he asks, his voice laced with anger and frustration. "There's that you've become overbearing and clingy. I can't take it anymore. You're always sticky, I never have a free moment, and if I have it, you're always there" he exclaims with clenched teeth and a hard look.

His words strike you like a bolt of lightning, and you take a step back, not believing what you're hearing. "We weren't like that before, and now I understand why no one has ever wanted you" he adds with wickedness, making you feel small and insignificant.

You try to speak, but your voice catches in your throat. You know what you've been through, and you've always hoped that Matt would understand. But instead, he holds it against you, making you feel like an outcast.

"You're an asshole" you finally manage to say, raising your voice as tears slide down your face. It's not like you to use such harsh words, but you're hurt and angry, and you can't help it.

At that moment, Matt opens his eyes, and you can see the surprise and shock on his face. He had never heard you say such a thing to him. Among all people, it was always you who used a calm tone, even in the most difficult situations.

Seeing you rush into his room, he follows you around, but when he sees that you start to take your bags, he realizes that he has exaggerated. "What do you do?" he asks, trying to take your arm. But with all the anger that you had in your body, in very little, you wriggle from his grip. "Let go of me" you say in a dry tone.

"I'm not going to stay in the room with you anymore. I'll go to Nick's, and I'll bring all my stuff" you finish, closing the zip and dragging the bag on the ground. As you come out of his room, you find yourself facing the two guys who, from the screams, immediately catapulted to see what had happened.

As you ask Nick for help, you feel exhausted and drained from the situation at home. Without even turning to see him, his hand takes the bag from yours and you head up to the room with the older brother. In the distance, you hear Chris saying, "Dude you have already done too much damage, let her be."

Days pass by, but the situation at home remains the same.

After receiving some harsh words, you decide to build a wall between you and Matt and try to avoid being alone with him.

You attempt to behave like a mature person, spending more time with the two brothers and going out on your own when they can't accompany you.

Matt, on the other hand, feels good when you're not around. However, as time passes, guilt starts to creep in, and he realizes that he doesn't want to push away the one person who means the world to him.

He understands this even more when you don't even look at him at the airport and leave without a single glance. "Why did I do wrong to her?" he says to himself as he watches you go through security checks. "Because you're a jerk, that's why" answers Nick, watching him with a serious expression.

Although he regrets his actions, Matt is determined to make things right between you two. Without telling anyone, he packs his backpack with only the bare minimum and heads off to the other side of the country.

Spring break is coming to an end, and leaving your family and friends in Boston again feels like a stab in the heart. This time, it hurts even more because you know that once you get back, you'll have to fend for yourself completely, starting with finding an apartment.

You and your family were having a pleasant evening playing board games when you heard the doorbell ring. "Were you expecting someone?" you asked, moving your pawns on the board. "No, we weren't. Why don't you go and answer it?" your mother replied, gazing at you with a gentle expression. You got up from your spot, a little confused.

As you reached the door, you saw Matt standing outside with a bouquet of your favorite tulips and a puppet with the words <I'm stupid> written on it. The sight of the flowers made you smile, but you didn't let your guard down completely.

''Please, I have to talk to you''

"You have five minutes" you told him as you closed the door behind you and sat on the porch, keeping a distance. He handed you the flowers and the puppet, and you accepted them, putting the flowers next to you and holding the puppet in your hands.

"I'm sorry" he began, fiddling with your fingers. "I know I'm not good with words, but I realize now that I was wrong to say what I said.

I shouldn't have blamed you like that. I just wanted to talk to you and explain my side of things."

He paused, looking down, and when he looked up again, his eyes were watery. You felt your own eyes fill up with tears, too.

"I don't want to lose you" he said, touching your cheek. You closed your eyes and put your hand on his. "I was an asshole, but I understand that now that you're gone."

You spoke up, your voice barely above a whisper. "It was a low blow. You've never made me feel so small and helpless before. But I have to admit, I've been clingier than usual lately. That's just my way of showing you love, and if you don't like it, we can end it here."

"No way" he said, taking a step closer. "I flew over 2,500 miles to see you and tell you I love you more than anything. We just need to communicate better and make sure we're both happy. I'm here because I want to be and make it up to you." concludes by looking into your eyes '' I love you too... but please let's not hurt ourself anymore'' you leaned your forehead against his and felt his lips on yours in a gentle kiss.

When you pulled away, you grinned and grabbed the puppet. "Would you be him?" you asked, laughing together.

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Taglist:  @sturniolosreads @mayhem-72 @dracoflaco @lyzsaphrodite @ifilwtmfc @xoxo4chrisss @soimightlikeoldmen69 @inlovewithmattstur @sturniolobendystrawsposts @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07

[anastasiabowe]

I hope this isn't too much, but, can you write about JJK (Nanamin Toji and Choso) men and how they have a plus size girlfriend, and can you make it nsfw? It's ok if you can't! Happy Belated valentines day!💖💖

𝙏𝙤𝙤 𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙈𝙚 - JJK men with plus size reader!

note: I loved writing this so much, this is one of my favorite requests! Also I'm making my way through requests for real this time💀

𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨:

♡ 𝙉𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙞 - The Admirer

Not another day goes by without Nanami being infatuated with you. Nanami always stops dead in his tracks when he sees you every morning dragging your feet into the kitchen, lazily smiling at him as you wiped the sleep from your eyes. He always puts whatever he was doing or eating down so he can get up and help wake you up with kisses and coffee breath.

Nanami never found anything wrong with you whenever you looked unhappy at yourself. He usually asks you what's the matter and gets shocked every time you mumble out "I'm fat." It hurts him every time you say that, knowing saying it seals it deeper into your head, making it a reality. Nanami never knew what to say when you say that but the usual "you're not fat, you're beautiful!" Which he too knows is getting old. Nanami knew nothing he said would completely erase the idea from your head since he himself is quite fit and muscular. But, he does know one way as to which helps you temporarily forget.

"Not there, Ngh! I'm sensitive there!" You squeal when he is laying on you, softly sucking on your tits. You guys didn't have much time, but he knew how to get you going fast.

"just relax baby, you know this feels good." His deep voice rung in your ears as he slowly brought his hand down to your cunt slipping it under your dress. "You're so beautiful Y/n, especially like this. You make me insane for you, absolutely psycho." He groans as he felt how wet you were. Your lips were red and wet from you biting on them. Everything felt so good, and there was nothing you wanted more than to be like this.

Nanami took his time, even though you guys had a dinner to attend, he had to slowly bring you to your high so it could crash down in the ultimate euphoric finish. He knew you were close by the increase of you squirming and pushing his shoulder with your hand so he could give your boobs a break.

"Uh uh, move your hands." He lowly commanded as his fingers inserted into you. You let out a moan gripping the back of Nanamin's head pushing him deeper into your chest.

"I-im cumming! Don't stop Kento, please don't stop!" You begged as he sped everything up. His tongue flicked your reddened nipples and his thumb circled your clit at the same time as his fingers fucked you finally pushing you over into a coma.

You let out a choked moan and Nanami chuckled as he helped you ride out your orgasm, taking his fingers from your cunt and and licked/sucked them clean.

"So fucking beautiful, fuck, it hurts just to look at you so cute and perfect for me. Too perfect for me."

♡ 𝙏𝙤𝙟𝙞 - The Fondler

Always touching you somewhere. You used to think that maybe he genuinely didn't realize how touchy he was, but you soon realized that he knows what he's doing. You guys could be simply watching a movie on a 4 seat couch, and out of those 4 seats, only 2 were taken. He would be either pulling you as close as you could into him, if he'd be laying on you.

He seemed like the type to hate clingy girls but he's the clingy one in the relationship! I mean everywhere you go, he's maybe 3 inches away, body touching yours, and hands gripping somewhere, and what I mean by somewhere, it's ass, tits, or thighs. You guys would be in Walmart and he'd have his hand in your back pant pocket, every once and a while squeezing your ass cheek. You guys could be driving home, his hand obviously on your thighs, or you could be simply reading a book in bed, and he'd be laying over you, one hand on your tits and the other holding his phone as he scrolled or watched something.

"Fucking love this ass, but you already know that though." Toji chuckled as his hips and your ass collided every 2 seconds. He loved how your ass rippled when you both made contact. He loved how he could grip you hips and squeeze the flesh on them, giving him the perfect handles to fuck you into oblivion. He knows that no matter how much he loves you and your body you will always find some reason to fucking hate yourself.

All through this fuck session, he keeps finding more things that you had said throughout the day about how much you hated your tummy, hated how wide you looked, hated your thighs and how they rubbed against each other, how much you hated how your feet hurt all the damn time. He never hated any of those, he never hated you, he never disliked any part of you, actually, how could he? You were so fine in so many different ways that even he himself gets surprised by, but he shouldn't because you are ethereal.

"Can't. Fucking. Get. Enough. Of. You." Toji said breathlessly as he now had you in the mating press. His hard chest against your soft tits felt so amazing in a weird way to him. Having your cute face so close, and your thighs wrapped around him had him cumming faster than usual.

"Sh-shit baby, I'm gonna cu-" he groaned loudly as he finished inside of you. You giggled, shocked he came this quick, but also turned on by how hot he was.

He didn't realize how much you turned him on until he really started thinking about it. Shit, now he's gonna have to work on not cumming so fast just thinking about you.

♡ 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙤 - The Overachiever

Choso always felt like he had something to prove with you, but definitely not in a bad way. He genuinely thinks you are way out of his league. Anything you complained about, he'd be there to do it better and more efficiently. If your feet hurt, he'd give you a whole massage AND he'd wash your feet. If you didn't like how the food tasted from a fast food restaurant, he'd go back and order a new meal telling them exactly what to do and how to do it better. He wanted to praise you, wanted to be there at your every need and desire. And when I mean every need and desire, I mean every need and desire.

Choso would do everything in his power to let you know how much he loved you. If you complained about anything you didn't like about yourself, that'd be everything he worshiped until you thought differently.

So when you complained about how your tummy couldn't fit into your jeans, he'd fuck you and fondle and praise how much he loved your tummy, "Fuck, I fucking love your tummy so fucking much, love it so much I wanna see it full with my baby, fuck imagine having my baby, oh that'd be so fucking hot." Even though you knew what he was doing and how it might be corny sometimes, it still made you love yourself so much more.

On that matter, if you weighed yourself and complained how you gained a few pounds, he will strictly fuck you by either carrying you or having you sit on his face, his favorite was the latter.

"Cho baby, I can't!" You whispered as he tried to tug you down on his face.

"Yes you can, and you will. Sit on my fucking face." His usual soft and cute demeanor was shifted into a dominant commanding demeanor. You only held yourself up by the help of the headboard, not even trying to lower yourself, afraid you might hurt him.

"Chooo, I don't wanna hurt you, please can we do something else?" You cried out. You did deep down wanted to sit on his face and have him ruin you, but it'd be so embarrassing if he'd tap your leg because he felt like you were crushing him. Choso only sighed and forcefully pulled you down catching you off gaurd. His arms locked around the base of your thighs, securing you onto his face. He even pushed his face up into your cunt to get deeper. You let out a moan as you felt him instantly sucking on your clit.

"F-fuck Cho, feels so good!" He chuckled sending vibrations straight to your core. His fingers dug into your thighs as his eyes rolled back. Your hand found its way to Choso's dick, you leaned back a little and started pumping his rock hard dick. You began to feel confident that he was okay, and you could finally relax, which Choso was so happy you did. You tasted so amazing, and he felt so amazing tasting yummy, and you touching him. Soon Choso came, and you right after. Your body shook as he continued to hold you down on his face, overstimulating you both.

Choso finally released his grip, letting you get off of his face and lay beside him. He had a cute smile on his face and looked so out of it. You laughed and he looked over at you. "We need to do this more often."

[lil-quinnie]

Pity party

part I

Warning +18 smut, jealous Eddie

Summary college au After Eddie kissed the girl in front of you, you decide you NEED to move on.

F!boy Eddie x Plus size reader

a/n: Hi guys, sorry for the delay in posting part 2. I was very insecure about the story and this year I started working as a full time teacher so time is also very limited, anyway. Sorry for any typo or mistake, i'm brazilian god danmitt. I hope you like it <3

-

The return to your dorm was humiliating, you tried to explain everything that had happened amid sobs and inaudible words, Steve tried to support most of your weight in his arms as he guided you safely to your room. The boy tried to comfort you the whole way, even though he knew what his best friend had done would be difficult to reverse.

With the promise of a call he left the room and disappeared down the crowded halls of the girls' dormitory.

11am

you woke up to an excited call from Robin and Steve, talking about a party that was going to happen that night and how it would be the perfect opportunity for you to try to get a certain metalhead out of your head.

"so, there will be this band and I'm sure one of the members will be your type...I promise" Steve said without thinking, receiving an elbow in the ribs from his best friend "dingus" Robin said rolling her eyes "We pick you up at 8?" the girl asked hopefully.

Even though you didn't want to interact with a lot of people, you agreed that staying in bed wouldn't solve your problem. "Yeah, okay, I'll be ready at 8, bye, see you guys"

-

19pm

One last check in the mirror before hearing Steve's horn followed by Robin's loud laughter. 

You could already see the number of people in the frat garden, indicating that the party was packed. "It's harder to find him this way" you thought , at the same time Steve squeezed your leg, checking if everything was ok.

The blue lights of the crowded living room hurt your eyes, the cigarette smoke turned into fog on the floor of the house, making those lights refract 10 times stronger back at your eyes. Nancy already had a drink for you in her hand because Robin had already told her everything, welcoming you with a smile and a hug as always. 

When she let you go, the girl said just so you could hear "Eddie is looking for you”, causing you to pour the cheap liquid from the cup down your throat in one go.

-

On the other side of the house, the metalhead was negotiating his sales, even though it was a good day and he had sold almost everything he had brought, Eddie couldn't change the uncomfortable expression on his face. 

His mind always brought back the vision of you and Steve hugging, or holding hands, hell even your schedule Steve knew and he didn't, the green bug of jealousy spent all day on his shoulder, blowing fears into his ear that he had been trying to keep away for decades.

Eddie was hustling around the party, looking for potential clients and for you. He saw Robin at the party so of course you were here too.

Some people stopped him to talk, some girls offering themselves as payment (it was no longer new to him), others trying to flirt without it being so obvious, a normal night if you were Eddie Munson.

While finishing a sale he heard your laugh, causing him to turn his entire body towards the origin of the sound, "Fuck" he thought.

Your cleavage revealed the soft mounds of your breasts, making his face burn with jealousy at the thought of anyone else being able to see what should be just his. “Harrington, of course,” he huffed as he put the crumpled bills in his pocket watching Steve making you laugh. 

Eddie's eyes were shining in a purple light, never leaving your face, moving from your cleavage to your eyes and your lips, the tip of his tongue insisted on leaving his pink lip moist and shining, delicious it looked.

Eddie didn't understand what was happening, why his heart raced every time you smiled at someone else or why there was a knot in his stomach every time Steve pulled you closer, or touched your thigh while telling you a story as if you were his, but you weren't, right?

Steve excused himself from a ‘lil crown and threw himself on the old sofa next to you "hi" he said, you responded in the same tone with a shy smile, looking at each other for a while, it could be alcohol or even joints but damn! Steve was really handsome and you’re pretty sure he thinks the same about you.

Soon everybody went to fill their glasses or smoke outside, except Robin who danced with Vickie as if she didn't have early classes tomorrow, leaving you and Steve in your own bubble.

What made Eddie most angry was the fact that you seemed so comfortable with Steve, in the way he couldn't make you feel, he thought. Eddie could never make you stay close to him among a lot of people, you always found an excuse to go to the dorm or any empty place while with Steve... "fucking hell" he exclaimed, while passing the bag with the customer's product. 

Eddie needed something stronger than weed if he wanted to swallow all of his wounded ego to get to you, and he couldn't do it dry. He poured the glass full of whiskey and downed it in two sips, letting a few drops of the golden liquid run down the corner of his mouth wiping it with the back of his hand, determined not to let anything pave the way to you.

You couldn't help the smile that widened every time he got closer. The rosy cheeks showed that Eddie had been drinking, a few curls of hair coming out of his low bun and that smile of someone who wants to be confident even though they're scared... 

How could you be mad at him? how you could cut him out of your life while he gave you that half smile he only gave when he was embarrassed, which was rare for a guy like him.

When Steve's fingers intertwined with yours, Eddie decided he had had enough of that and with his double shot of whiskey, he swallowed all his pride to go talk to you.

His hands in his jacket pocket only showed how uncomfortable he was, even more so after the disaster that happened last night, but he would never forgive himself if he didn't at least try to talk to you again before the night ended. 

On the other side, you and Steve didn't notice as the metalhead approached, still lost in your own world, exchanging too many small caresses and smiles.

He could hear your voice clearly, he even swore he could already smell the moisturizer that covered your skin, so close that he could feel you under his fingerprints.

He cleared his throat trying to get the attention of the two sitting on the sofa, when he realized that he was unsuccessful, he kicked Steve's Nike, who quickly turned his head, letting a HA! to escape from his lips going together with his hands clapping in the air "Munson" he smiled sarcastically, "Harrington" Eddie raised his browns and then turned around for you "can we talk?"

"I don't know, can we?" you said, getting up from the sofa and pulling Steve with you, who protectively wrapped his arm around your waist, hugging you from behind, resting his head on your shoulder, "I have nothing to talk to you right now, Eddie", you said while broking away from Steve's hug, signaling him to lead the way away from there.

"Please, let me talk to you", but before he could hold you, you turned and snapped 

"Isn't there anyone to save you again Eddie? That's why you're coming after me?",

Steve was amused by the situation, it wasn't often that he managed to get under Eddie's skin, so he planned to enjoy it.

"Follow my lead" he said with that smirk on his face.

Steve started to dance with you innocently but noticing the other man's gaze, he decided to be bold.. He had your back pressed against his hairy chest as you danced together to the beat of the music. 

One of his hands held your hips against his crotch, while the other danced down your body side, stopping at your hip and pulling you closer against the tent that was beginning to form in the boy's tight jeans.

Eddie watched everything from the other side of the room, his eyes following every slow movement your body made, burning holes in the uncovered skin of your cleavage. 

Every time Steve pressed his body against yours, Eddie looked away and sawed his fists, causing Steve to proudly smile.

Steve's eyes were locked with eddies while his mouth timidly explored the skin of your shoulder and neck, causing goosebumps that only a metalhead had caused to this day, when he realized that you didn't stop him, he was braver, leaving love bites on the exposed skin. 

Eddie noticed when your thighs pressed together, tighter every time Steve's mouth came close to yours. 

Eddie's heart missed the beat, it felt like hours of torture having to watch you like that with someone else, with his best friend on top of that.

Even though you understood the game Steve was playing, you decided to let yourself go and enjoy the little attention you rarely received. Seeing Eddie's reaction, watching each micro expression that appeared on his face was satisfying, with his knurled eyebrows and wrinkled nose you know that he was feeling the same thing you felt when he did the same in front of you.

"I need to go to the bathroom, angel. Do you want me to fill your cup?" Steve whispered in your ear and you just nodded, letting Steve go with a smile.

This was Eddie's chance to talk to you once and for all, and he no longer had the patience to put up with you being a brat. 

He knew that you would go outside, that you would light a cigarette and that you would wait for Harrington until he arrived with another alcohol bomb, he also knew that if he didn't do anything, he would lose you forever.

The mild temperature due to the late hour of the morning itched your exposed skin, causing goosebumps while you unsuccessfully tried to light your cigarette, too frustrated with everything around you to really pay attention to your surroundings.

“Here” you heard a husky voice coming from near the pool house “let me help you”.

The man approached slowly, the darkness using her cloak to cover your lover's face, only making you realize it was him, by fate's trap, when it was too late.

“I’m good, Edward. Thank you very much” you replied,

"What the hell is all that? What the fuck did I do to make you like this, Huh?” Eddie held your arms tightly, forcing you to look at him, you saw the anxiety and confusion that showed in his eyes, which caused an immeasurable pleasure to ignite in the pit of your stomach as you pressed his buttons more and more.

"What do you think I am Eddie? Just a toy when you don't have one of those dumb girls to fuck?" you spat at him with no mercy "and what do you think you are for him right now?" he said dryly,  "More than I ever was to you, right?"  he looks… hurt.

“Are you even listening to yourself? you’re sounding delusional.” he said letting your arm go.

“Oh! Poor Munson, where's Heather? giving a blowjob to some basketball player before ending up in your bed?" you cringed at the words that should have stayed in your head, giving up on the cigarette and making your way out the conversation.

“WOW!! Who stuck a stick up your ass, cutie? Was it Stevie?” He whispered in your ear, making you pull your arm free from Eddie's grip, leaving the mark of your five fingers on the boy's rosy cheek.

“Ed… I.. I'm" 

"Shut up, just shut the heck up ok?! I'm done with you” he said harshly, making you scared and before  you could say something, apologize or anything, Eddie was pulling you inside the pool house. 

You could feel the beats of the muffled music on the cold wall that Eddie pressed your body against. 

"Eddie, I'm sorry" you pleaded, almost begging, he pinch the bridge of his nose shaking his head in disbelief “let’s talk, please” you pleaded one more time.

"Of course sweetheart, NOW you wanna talk.” he gave you some space, sitting across the room, “just tell me why you're treating me like shit and I'll leave you, forever even.”

"Eddie, you... you” you tried to explain to him but the words just went away.

“I’m what babe? tell me what I did” his voice was almost failing. 

“You kissed her in front of me" you said through sobs “she said horrible things about me…and you did nothing about it” your tears betrayed you, rolling through your pale face, Eddie could see how big the fleek was on your poor heart.

The muffled sound of the party was the only thing that echoed inside that room, that and the heavy breathing of the man who stared at you, as if he had discovered some absurd secret.

“I went after you, I screamed your name several times through those damn corridors…I know you heard me” you could feel the sad tone behind the guy's bad boy pose.

He moved closer to you, entering your space, his contorted face reflected how painful the memory was. “and I found you, oh boy i found you! In the arms of MY best friend” he returned to the opposite side of the room and continued in silence, lighting his cigarette, the orange light from the lighter flame making Eddie's teary eyes shine in the darkness of the pool room.

“Eddie…what are you talking about?” You said with your voice still shaking, not paying much attention to what was said but to your best friend's sad eyes, “YOU kissed another girl in front of me, after we had sex! you asshole.”

Eddie stood up once again this time angrily shouting back at you “I DIDN’T FUCKING KISS HER”.

His hands caged you against the wall, against his body. He looked straight into your face, with his breathing still labored he whispered “and we didn't have sex”.

He placed a strand of your hair behind your ear, the tension could be cut with a knife. His eyes traveled between your eyes and your lips, waiting for a minute of weakness, any sign from you so he could have you the way he'd been wanting since the night you ran away from his dorm. 

Your hands shyly touched Eddie's face, bringing the boy's attention to stillness. You held his face firmly and still so unsure “I'm sorry Eds” you said running your fingers over the welts that marked his cheek.

Eddie pressed your bodies closer and held your hand against his cheek, taking advantage of the gap to connect your lips. The kiss started lightly, Eddie enjoyed every crumb you gave him, his tongue explored your mouth hungrily, trying to feel all your flavor, his thin fingers pressed the flesh of your waist, roaming freely over your abdomen, making your legs go limp “Eddie…” you sighed.

"what?" He said, moving his lips down your neck, following the same path that Steve had taken earlier, leaving bigger marks on your skin. He wanted everyone to know that you were his and no one else’s. 

He kissed your shoulder as he ran his hand up your thigh, past the hem of your skirt.

Noticing the lack of response, it's clear that teasing you was the boy's only option. “Did the cat get your tongue, sweetie?” His hands slowly felt your hips at the same time he pushed your legs apart with his knee and forced his leg between yours. He could feel how hot your pussy was from the heat that passed through his thigh “you seemed pretty brave when you were rubbing your ass against Stevie” he pressed his knee against your most sensitive part, gently brushing against your clit.

“I already told you Eddie, Steve and I are just friends” you said again, trying your best not to straddle your best friend’s thigh.

The boy finished taking off your shirt, exploring your breasts as he had done several other times. Eddie pinched and pulled your nipples, making the man feel you wet through your panties. He laughed in a mocking tone “look at you, you barely got off my best friend and you’re already here, all wet for me” his hands forced your movements, making you slowly ride his thigh “I saw your thighs pressing together, you know?” he said, increasing the intensity of the pace at which he guided you.

“Do you like being treated like a slut?” Eddie said taking you off his lap, in one movement he turned you around, face pressed against the old window covered in graffiti, it was too blurry to see you inside but depending on the angle you could see the people outside. “Did you like the feel of Steve’s dick rubbing against your ass?” he said as he pressed his own erection against you, making sure you felt every inch of him against the soft skin of your ass. “I know you liked it baby, there’s no need to be embarrassed” he patronizes you more and more.

With the panties around your ankle, Eddie adjusted your hips the way he wanted, brushing your entire pussy with the pink head of his cock.

"Are you sure?" he asked, without any malice or malice tone, you were already drunk on cock, just nodding your consent. “Words darling, use your words” “please Eddie, I need you” his voice came out more shrill than you wanted, showing his desperation.

In just one thrust, Eddie's entire cock slowly entered your tight pussy, “fuck…so thick” you moaned, not knowing if it was pain or pleasure, receiving sweet prayers from the man who filled you “shh…I know darling, It will soon be so delicious, I promise you” or “good girl, taking it all”, his words made you increasingly wet, making his back and forth movements easier.

“Fuck Eddie, more...I need more, please” you leaned against the window frame, managing to see Steve's confused features through the graffiti window, as he looked for you around the pool, not going unnoticed by Eddie either.

The man pushed into you harder and harder, your hands holding tight on the old wood making it shake. “Hmm… fucking tight, darling” he continued to fuck you, with one hand on your waist holding you in the position he needed and the other tangled in your hair, forcing you to look out the window, to look Steve.

"Eddie please" you begged, he could feel the adrenaline making his voice lower a few tones, every time Steve's eyes passed over you, Eddie could feel your pussy throb and squeeze his dick. “Make me cum Eds, please” you almost cried.

The large hand that held your head against the window ran down your entire body to where you needed it most. He fucked your pussy, changing the angle to hit your sweet spot while slowly massaging your citrices circularly, eliciting from you the most maddening moans Eddie had ever heard... "oh... Eddie I'm going to cum, fuck I'm going to cum " "fuck that pussy, please eddie" "Fill me, I want to feel you filling me Eddie", and Steve.

With his gaze fixed on his best friend, Eddie filled your pussy with his cum, not stopping pumping until the last drop of cum entered you. He helped you straighten up, bringing your back against his covered chest.

He kissed his neck while whispering how hot you were and how you were his and only his, leaving your breasts exposed against the window. His malicious smile began to make you suspicious of the boy's true intentions.

After a few minutes of recovering, you decided to get dressed again. Her panties on one side, her t-shirt rolled up on the floor and her skirt hanging from the window.

Your fingers pulled at the fabric of your skirt, revealing a large hole in the window where Steve stared at you and Eddie, while squeezing his erection through his pants. The boy's pink cheeks didn't bring you clarity, was that shame or lust?

Eddie’s hands went around you in a hug, resting his head on your shoulder “I told you he had a crush on you,” he kissed your cheek before walking away, opening the little door to the pool house “oh! Yeah and I'm sorry, I was really jealous." leaving you high and dry watching him go after his friend.

Taglist ~ dumblittlebunbun pettydonuts kerst666 emma77645 darknesseddiem tlclick73 the-fairy-anon mygirlchaos d4rk4ng3l86 corygshitilike madi-is-kinda-lame munsongirl97 alone-but-never themusingofagothicsoul foreveranexpatsposts anaibis laricebabe she-collects-smut chronicles-of-koystee

[whyse7vn]

RFWF -

[ ot7 x reader ]

RM’s NUTS

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

jimin: right freak wrong freak

that’s what you should of called ur album joon

jk: rfwf

hobi: ok but who gonna match MY freak

tae: who wanna go band for band

jin: let’s go shower for shower

you first

tae: STOP SAYING THIS

yoongi: lollll

tae: girlfriend tell them i don’t smell fr

namjoon: all of you shut up

jk: rfwf

jimin: who matching joons freak

jin: a JAIL CELL i hope

hobi: cool but i asked first

does no one care about my freak 😔?

y/n: i care

jk: ME TOO ME TOO

hobi: thanks guys >.<

tae: talking about freak this riding that what happened to the namjoon who hugged trees and read books

jk: that’s really bad because how can he show love to the trees by hugging them giving them false security and hope to then go an cut them down to make books

tae: wait ur spitting rn

jk: not true that’s nasty i’ve said this before

namjoon: i have never hugged a tree

or cut one down

jin: cuz you’re too busy writing about riding

you disgust me

yoongi: good pussy

namjoon: can we not please

tae: joon when you said HE a pro rider what did you mean by that?

y/n: happy pride month!!!

jk: who is pride

hobi: joon was talking about tae

tae: WHY WOULD THE PRO RIDER BE ME??

I AM NOT OF RGB DECENT

jimin: didn’t you kiss jungkook

hobi: Lgb

tae: i take NO L’s

hobi: cuz you take DICK

y/n: LMAO

yoongi: tae the biggest dick rider to walk this earth

hobi: yoongi gets it

tae: HOW AM I A DICK RIDER???

hobi: if we think about this logically you dick riding y/n 24/7

tae: OK WHAT

SO ARE YOU THEN????

I WOULD ACTUALLY ARGUE THAT YOONGI DICK RIDES HER THE MOST

jin: tea

yoongi: shut up

jin: ok sorry

tae #1 dick rider

jk: i’m confused

jimin: i vote joons talking about tae

y/n: same

jk: still confused i thought y/n was girl

jin: jk close second but tae takes it

hobi: real

tae: wtf????

hobi: freak of all freaks!!

tae: ok whatever

fine

don’t care

jimin: you accepted that very easily

y/n: my little dick rider 😘

jk: me too please

tae: i mean as long as it’s y/ns dick i’ll fuck around and cream on that shit too like

no shame

y/n: there is something severely wrong with you

jin: wow

yoongi left “RM’s NUTS”

hobi: he takes everything too far

jimin: like

jk: ok i don’t know if i want to be a dick rider anymore

i don’t want to cream

namjoon: jungkook stop talking we are moving on

namjoon added yoongi to “RM’s NUTS”

tae: don’t act like you all wouldn’t cream on her shit too

yoongi left “RM’s NUTS”

namjoon: tae stop talking now

tae: whatever

jk: rfwf

hobi: definitely surpassed my freak

namjoon: y/n

y/n added yoongi to “RM’s NUTS”

yoongi: why

y/n: stay with the family yoongi

hobi: family 💜

jimin: we practice incest here

jk: insect

namjoon: really…

jimin: just saying she literally called us family and you just wrote a song about her riding you

jk: i thought it was about tae

tae: jungkook did it first

jk: i did NOT ride joon

namjoon: guys

jk: I DIDN’T @Y/N I DIDN’T

jimin: she did LMAO

tae: nuts wishes it was seven

namjoon: shut up

hobi: family 💜

yoongi: fuck ur family

jimin: i know a girl that does

y/n: are you mad i don’t fuck you or something???

jimin: LMAO

you wish

jin: WOAHHH

jk: nct wish

hobi: come on family let’s not 💜💜

y/n: trouble with taemin again sighs this is getting old jimin

jimin: don’t talk about taemin

y/n: don’t talk about who i fuck

namjoon: ok guys chill out

tae: hold on ur all typing so fast ohmygod

y/n: tell HIM to chill

jimin: just saying you are most definitely the root of like 95% of our issues as a group

hobi: my root came 2005

wait

jimin wtf??

namjoon: jimin take that back

yoongi: are you crazy??

jk: jimin that’s mean

jin: and unfair

tae: ???????????????

jimin: she fucks you guys knowing there are feelings involved and then acts like everything is normal when you’re all at each others throats

hobi: we would be at each others throats regardless of feelings or whatever

that’s just our dynamic no??

tae: throat talk kinda rgb guys

hobi: L

tae: don’t call me a loser the hell??

also wtf is jimin talking about

jimin: tell me i’m wrong

yoongi: you’re wrong.

jin: you need to back the fuck up jimin it takes two people to have sex you know idk why ur putting this all on her

jimin: i’m just saying

jk: maybe you should stop saying

yoongi: definitely

namjoon: ok seriously everyone needs to shut the fuck up right now this isn’t something we should be talking about now or over text

jimin: yeah you’re right because we SHOULD of had this conversation ages ago

namjoon: you’re pissing me off jimin and this doesn’t actually involve you stop talking

jimin: yeah and maybe that’s the fucking problem namjoon

namjoon: what are you trying to say right now?

jimin: nothing bye.

tae: are we fr fighting

jimin left “RM’s NUTS”

tae: ok we are fr fighting

why did no one tell me we were fr fighting

hobi: can you not read

tae: ok there were a lot of words on screen going very fast may i add and i can only take in what i can take in

y/n: so you took in the word throat

tae: don’t speak to me right now

jin: anways y/n ignore jimin he’s clearly going through something right now

don’t let what he said get to you we’ve talked about this ok?

namjoon: you have?

sorry not important yeah

what jin said

y/n: i know

jimin didn’t upset me it’s fine

yoongi: it’s okay if you were to be upset tho

like later

or something

y/n: yoongi

yoongi: sorry

y/n: i appreciate you

all of you but i’m honestly fine

i’m more concerned about jimin rn

that wasn’t like him

he clearly had something say and he’s normally one to speak his mind fully not just leave half way

jk: yeah :/

namjoon: i’ll talk to him

hobi: no i think i should

no offence or anything joon

just trust me on this one

namjoon: oh

ok

that’s cool yeah

let me know when you do

hobi: thank you

i will

jk: we were on our biggest no fighting streak

this sucks

hobi: i thinks that’s part of why he’s upset

yoongi: 🤨?

hobi: anyways i’ll talk to him

let you guys know

namjoon: cool so uh

jin: did you just type “so uh”

tae: namjoon personally i love it

so…uh

*puts hand behind head bashfully smiles*

hobi: johnny so uh

get it

like johnny suh

y/n: smash

namjoon: nice guy

jk: hobi pls don’t mention the enemy rn

hobi: didn’t you mention nct wish earlier??

what is the harm in mentioning johnny ://

jk: hobi he’s tall

like really tall

hobi: ok??

jin: remember when hobi punched jaehyun lmao

hobi: no moving on

yoongi: i would also smash johnny suh’s head in

tae: YOONGI WANNA SMASH A MANNNN

A BOYYY

MALE HE WANTS TO SMASH A DUDEEEE

RBG BOY RGB BOY

hobi: for the last time it’s lgbt fucking idiot

y/n: homophobia in june is crazy

tae: i’m just saying how it is

yoongi wanna smash johnny spread the word

yoongi: how about you kill yourself

tae: how about no

spread the word

like yoongi spreads his legs for johnny

jk: he’s 6’2 btw

y/n: why do you know that

tae: bet the height difference turns yoongi on real bad

namjoon: okay stop

jk: joon you say stop a lot and nobody stops most of the time so why do you continue to say stop when it is uneffectuve

namjoon: don’t talk to me

jk: oh :c

jin: namjoons stop worked like 2 times today so this is actually a win for joon

tae: yeah the first 2 times in 74 years

hobi: LMAO

jk: i thought joon was 34

namjoon: i’m not even 30 yet

hobi: LOOLLLLLL

namjoon: stop laughing at me

shouldn’t you be talking to jimin rn

hobi: i said i would talk to jimin meaning i would talk to him in the near future further meaning not right now because i don’t want to be verbally assaulted and or blocked

gotta let him cool down you know how he is

namjoon: yeah okay makes sense

cool

going to bed

keep me posted on jimin

hobi: of course

namjoon: gn all

y/n: night joonie ^3^

jk: gn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hobi: night

tae: it’s like 6 tf

jin: it’s 11:45 pm

tae: ok clock wtf

i said it’s like 6 not that it’s actually 6

jin: next time i see you i’m punching you in the face

goodnight namjoon

tae: WOAH??? GUYS ARE YOU SEEING THIS RN????

yoongi: thumbs up emoji

tae: jin just threatened me can we all care rn

jk: i care

tae: you care about the turtles right to freedom of speech

jk: they should be able to speak

tae: you’re a care WHORE

you care for everything

you’re care is worthless overused and slutted out

jk: but it’s still care 😢

tae: used and abused care

jk: 😥😢😭

tae: @y/n do you care

y/n: no

yoongi why did you type out ur emoji

yoongi: couldn’t be asked to look for the emoji in the thing

hobi: wait that’s so real fire emoji praying hands emoji dance emoji

yoongi: thumbs up emoji

jk: how do i unwhoreify my care guys

tae: @hobi do you care

hobi: i am done communicating with you today

tae: @yoongi do you care

yoongi: middle finger emoji

—

#nopeacealllove

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @earth2ela @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @seokmyballs @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @meowgiz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @iammeandmeisiam @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos @featjunranghae @jksgirlfrl

[seresinhangmanjake]

Oh, Baby

Dad!Jake Seresin x female reader

Summary: You might not have been his girlfriend, but when you left town one night a month after sleeping together, it completely broke Jake's heart. Now, a year later, you've returned and you're not alone. You have a new little companion that just so happens to bear a startling resemblance to Jake. 

Warnings/notes: its mostly fluffy. cursing, i think. mention of pregnancy. that might be it. 

Words: 2900

Oh, Baby Masterlist / Masterlist

His Girls (Following Part)

-----

Staring is rude; that’s what his mama told him. That, and a handful of other little rules that didn’t fit the bill of ‘gentleman.' But he couldn’t recall a single one of them now. His mind was occupied and nothing else mattered. Maybe nothing else ever would. So he let himself stare.

You smiled and the air got trapped in his lungs for a moment before it decided to fight for freedom by way of harsh, sharp bursts. If his coughing drew the attention of others, he didn’t notice. It didn’t draw yours, and that was for the best. He needed another second to breathe; to watch your face light up under the influence of the infant in your arms. 

Two months old, that’s what Rooster had told him. 

You’d left town one night, leaving no note, no means of contact except through your parents who texted Rooster every once in a while to let him know you were Ok, but never to tell him where you were. Maybe they didn’t know either. Then, according to Rooster, you showed up at his door with a bag, a smile of apology, and a two-month-old baby cradled in a wrap around your chest. 

Jake didn’t know what to do with that. He didn’t know how to process what you’d brought with you, or why you went to Rooster instead of him. Maybe one more thing that didn’t matter at the end of the day. As it was, everything in front of him was too much to handle. 

“I don’t want to overstep,” Rooster said through the phone. His call had woken Jake, but the anxiety in Rooster’s tone cleared any grogginess faster than a cup of coffee. “Did you and Y/N ever…?”

Jake swallowed and sat up a little straighter in bed, running a hand down his face. Everyone had guessed there had been something going on between you and him. Everyone assumed that even if there wasn’t, if they were wrong, eventually the two of you would get there. You’d figure it out because it seemed inevitable. Jake had always hoped they were right. He’d pined for painfully long, and while it seemed like you felt something for him too, he wasn’t going to move until you did. And then you did. 

It was simple, really. He thought there would be something more complex to the two of you finding your way into bed together, but it was so easy. So natural. Simple and easy and natural enough for you to seek him out three more times before you disappeared from his life, breaking a part of him as you did. 

“Why do you ask?” Jake said. 

“Um—fuck.” It was a soft curse from his friend’s mouth, just barely detectable through the speaker. But it carried a heavy weight with it that Rooster’s voice alone did not. “Are you sitting down?”

“Yea.”

“Good.”

The seconds passing were nearly as painful as the day you left—that moment he realized you were no longer in his bed. He’d called everyone. No one had an answer for him. “Rooster, what the fuck is going on?”

He sighed, which was never good. Rooster wasn’t much of the sighing type. Sighing meant thinking. And he wasn’t much of the thinking type anymore, either. Hadn’t been since Mav had knocked that behavior out of him while he was in the air. That new mentality just so happened to carry into the rest of his life, and he lived in a world of impulsivity. Don’t think, just do. It was the exact same with his words. Rooster only ever spoke his mind, didn’t hold back, didn’t hesitate, and yet now he was.

“She’s back, Jake," he finally said. "Showed up last night.”

His heart stopped beating. He felt it seize in his chest. And then it began again, starting with incredible force and livening his entire body. 

“But, um…that’s not all,” Rooster continued. “She’s got a baby with her, and—” His breath was shaky, matching Jake’s hands. “Alright, I’m just going to say it—the kid looks exactly like you, Seresin. Spitting fucking image. Now, if you two never got together then I’ll chalk it up to a wild coincidence, but if you did…” He paused. “If you did, I think you need to get over here.”

Jake had never run so fast in his life, never driven so recklessly, never stormed through the front door of someone’s home the way he did Rooster’s, but how could he not? 

“Where is she?”

Rooster shot to his feet from his spot on the couch. “At the store. She took the kid with her. We should probably wait—”

“The one down the street?”

“Yea, but—what are you doing?”

He was already at the door, the knob squeezed viciously in his grip. “I have to see for myself,” Jake said. “I won’t ambush her. I’ll keep my distance, but I have to see.”

And he saw…everything. The woman he loved, casually walking up and down the aisles of the grocery store, looking at labels and deciding on brands and placing things in a cart, with his baby strapped to her chest. 

And that was his baby. He knew the moment he saw the eyes that were his, just smaller and on a face full of features that were also his, save for the curve of the lips that belonged entirely to you. Had his mother been by his side, she might’ve stumbled back from how similar this baby looked to her own. He would have too had his feet not been stuck to the floor. 

Every bit of him was holding back from reaching for you as his instincts demanded of him, but he had to move before you saw him. You could turn your head at any moment. So he had to go. 

—--

“When did you even…I mean, everyone always figured you would…but…when?”

Jake lifted his head from where it was resting over the back of the couch. “About a month before she left. A few times.”

Rooster nodded. “She’ll be back soon. Are you sure you want to do this now?”

“I–”

As if on cue, the front door opened and you stepped through with a bag of groceries in each hand, one of which fell when your eyes met Jake’s. Little jars rolled across the floor, making the only sound in the otherwise dead silence of the room. His lips parted, but nothing could slip out of them, nothing that would make reasonable sense, anyway. His mind was too much of a jumbled mess.

The baby broke the tension, its little wiggle causing you to glance down at the tiny head resting against your chest. You set the other bag down and took an immediate turn to the left through another door that Jake knew led to Rooster’s guest room. You returned a moment later, without the baby, your arms crossed in front of you as you walked toward him. 

He thought he would be mad; maybe betrayed; at the very least bitter and devastated, but all he wanted was to pull you to him and hold you and kiss you and thank whatever deity necessary for returning you to him. 

“You couldn’t have kept it to yourself for a little?”

He didn’t know what you meant until he realized you were looking directly at Rooster. 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Rooster replied. He nudged his head Jake’s way. “He was a fucking mess when you left, and it’s so obvious that the kid is—” He paused when your eyes fell to the wooden flooring. “I’m sorry. I’ll give you two some space.”

Jake waited until his friend was gone before he dared to take a step your way, but he stopped short at the hand you held up. 

“Y/N…”

“I don’t want to argue with you,” you said. “I’m not going to get into why I did what I did other than to say that I thought it was best for you, me, and her.” Your arms fully uncrossed and one hand began to pick at the other’s fingernail. “At the time, anyway.”

“She’s mine.” It wasn’t a question. He knew it. He knew it in his soul that the little girl in the next room belonged to him as much as she did you. But still, he needed to hear you say it; needed to watch the shape of your lips form the words. 

You nodded. “She’s yours.”

“And were you going to tell me?”

“I came back to tell you,” you said without a lick of hesitation in your voice; something that made him feel a bit lighter. “I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it yet, but I didn’t want her to wake up one day and start asking me fair questions that I only had unfair answers to. I couldn’t imagine telling her that her father had no idea she existed. So,” you took a deep breath, “I figured I’d see if you might want her, too.”

If. He could’ve laughed under different circumstances. If he wanted his daughter? There was nothing to mull over or consider. Of course, he wanted his daughter. Her and you, if you’d have him. But he couldn’t press that now. 

“What’s her name?”

“My family calls her Evy, but it’s Eve.”

“After my grandmother?”

“She was always nice to me when she would come to town, and I know you love her.” Your shoulders rose and fell in a shrug, but he knew there was nothing nonchalant about it. It was a deliberate choice, a careful choice. You could’ve named her anything under the sun. You could’ve named her after your own family, but you didn’t. “I wanted our daughter to have something of you other than just your DNA.”

The weight was back. A heaviness in the air from the beauty of what you’d just confessed mixed with the undeniable question of What now? He wasn’t going to push you. You were in complete control, always had been. Control over him, over what happened between you, over the future he had once hoped you may share—the future he thought was lost, but maybe could now be found. 

“Do you want to see her?”

His eyes widened, a confusing emotion filling his heart. He wasn’t sure you would offer, and giving him that chance swelled the love he felt for you. But more than that, adding to the confusing feeling was the hopeful note in your tone. Did you imagine he might deny you? Did you think he’d turn his child away?

“Yes,” he said with absolute surety, and by the grin you gave in return, he knew you felt his sincerity. 

You turned, leading him into the room he’d spent a drunk night or two in. A room in which he’d woken up insanely hungover and begging for the sun to die just to give him some relief. The irony. He silently snickered. You moved aside, facing him as he took in the sight before him. 

Your baby—his baby—laid on her back in the small travel crib, her eyes closed and body wrapped up snuggly in one of those sleep wraps he saw his sister use on her son. Her delicate face was so peaceful. Her long lashes rested on plump, rosy cheeks. Her lips were parted the slightest, the sweetest breaths making the softest of sounds. Her dusting of blond hair reflected the slim ray of sunlight sneaking through the drawn curtains turning the strands into pure gold.

Unshed tears stung the corners of his eyes. 

“You can hold her if you want.”

“She’s—she’s asleep. I can’t—”

“She’s a heavy sleeper,” you said. “Honestly, the best baby, Jake.”

Of course, she is, he thought. If she was anything like you, she’d be perfect. She was already perfect. 

Reaching into the crib, you carefully grabbed the baby and held her out to Jake. He’d held a baby before, plenty of times, but something about holding his own…he couldn’t describe it fully, just that it made his nerves fire off. His fingers began to twitch, but when he looked at you, he saw the familiar glassiness coating your irises and you nodded in encouragement. 

That was all he needed: the mother of his baby asking him to hold their daughter. So he did, extending his arms and gratefully accepting his little gift. 

She was so small. His hands and arms and chest dwarfed her compared to how she looked against your body. Up close, she was porcelain in form, fragile and light, and he would surrender his every breathing moment to protect what you and he had made. 

A soft sob echoed in his ear and Jake’s head shot up to see those tears had fallen, crafting rivers down your cheeks as your hand covered your mouth. 

“I’m sorry.” The apology was muffled through your fingers. You shook your head and finally dropped your hand. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t think—I didn’t think I would ever see this.”

With the hand not cradling his child, Jake cupped your cheek, smoothing your tears back into your skin with his thumb. You leaned into his touch and he suppressed a gasp. The first time in a year that he’d felt you, and it was like coming home. He’d missed everything about you, every ounce of your being and presence. He missed your scent filling the air: the vanilla perfume, the fruity shampoo, the minty chapstick that he’d pick up right when he was about to kiss you. All of it. Everything. And now you were here, and he wouldn’t be able to let go.

“Why did you leave me?” he whispered. 

“We had only slept together a few times,” you sniffled. “Doctor said I got pregnant that first time. Good on us for using a condom, right?”

He chuckled half-heartedly. Neither of you had one on you that night, and foolishly, neither of you cared. Pent-up desperation took over, and being inside of you, feeling you, became his sole need. Nothing short of you shoving him away could have stopped him. 

“Anyway, this wasn’t in your plans,” you said. “And I didn’t want to force it on you, but I also didn’t want to give her up. It scared me, so…”

“I would’ve helped you. I loved you. I’d been in love with you. I would’ve—”

“You loved me?”

Oh. He hadn’t planned on saying it. Certainly not now. Before you left, he’d hoped you already knew somehow. Then you were gone and he was sure the opportunity to tell you would never be within reach again. But, intentionally or not, you just presented him with a moment for the words to fall right out of his mouth, so they did. 

“Well…yea,” he said. “You could’ve told me you wanted a baby and I would’ve given you one.”

Your eyes shifted from his and you stared into the blank space next to his head, like your brain had short-circuited and your whole world was flashing before your eyes. You took a wobbly step back and dropped to sit on the edge of the mattress. Jake gave another long look at his daughter before kissing her forehead and placing her back in the crib. 

Kneeling in front of you, he said, “I still love you.” When you didn’t speak, he grasped your hands in his, intertwining your fingers. “I love you, and I already love our daughter. And I want you to stay. I need you to stay with me.”

He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Only you had that effect on him and he couldn’t say that he didn’t once hate it. It drove him insane for ages. He would simply think about you and the beating would start. That thumping would keep him awake at night, distract him at work, drown out the voices of his coworkers, but he accepted it now. It was an indicator of what he felt for you and that was too real and honest and beautiful to be bothered by. 

Finally, your fingers squeezed his back. A sign, small as it was, that you were understanding. 

“Look at me,” he whispered, and you did. He smiled as he peeled his fingers away from yours to frame your face between his hands. His thumbs ran along your cheekbones, then he leaned in a little closer. “Come here.” Another whisper, a bit broken on the final syllable. 

You didn’t protest when he pulled your face to his. You didn’t push him back when hot breaths caressed each other's mouths. Your fingers loosely fisted the collar of his shirt and you let his lips brush over yours in a gentle kiss.

And that was it. You were it. You had always been it for him. He knew it then, and he knew it now. But he didn’t want to overwhelm you. 

He pulled back a few inches to grant you some space, but your mouth chased after his, your hands sliding into his hair and holding him so you could force your lips together again. Harder, hotter, more desperate. You’d missed him, too. It was undeniable now. 

“Promise me, honey,” He said when you separated to breathe. "I can't lose you. Not again."

“I promise, Jake.” Your eyelids fell closed and you rested your forehead against his. “We’re not leaving you.”

------

tags: @thespeeder @nobody7102 @fangirlingoverfangirls @blue-aconite @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @dempy @chaoticassidy @alana4610 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @dracosluvbot @smoothdogsgirl @smit41 @wkndwlff @rileyloves5 @gigisimsonmars @hangmanbrainrot @withakindheartx @teacupsandtopgun @himbos-on-ice @xoxabs88xox​ @happypopcornprincess​ @violyn20​ @jordanturpen​ @buckymcu12​ @jerseybagel @nagygreta​ @rintheemolion​ @coldmuffinbanditshoe​ @avengersgirllorianna​ @oliviah-25​ @talkfastromance4​ @ysl-bby​ @chibijusstuff​ @kmsryles343​ @sometimesicryintheshower​ @cookielovesbook-akie​ @yanna-banana​ @taylahk109​ @buxkybarnez​ @elijahmikaelsonbitch​ @ravenhood2792​ @potato-girl99981​ @eccentricnos​ @kembry107​ @pono-pura-vida​ @topguncultleader​ @v0id-chaos​ @scrappybear89​ @stiles-banshees​ @audri_janis @caidi-paris @jake-seresins-girl @sass-masterkittenmama​

[base0h]

Hiiii. So this is my first time requesting or anything so I’m kinda really nervous??? Anyways, I love your crack fics, I literally giggle non stop and they bring light into my soul.

So, that being said, I have a request. Could you do something with Crocodile and Ace (and whichever other characters) reacting to their s/o having a spider or some type of scary bug on their back? Idk if your can go anywhere with this but hey, it’s worth a shot.

Okay that’s it bye bye have a good day :)))

a/n - omg I’m so glad I can bring light into your life 😭🫶 literally my goal when I’m writing this stuff 💜 oml bro crocodile is afraid of bugs I just know he is 💀 that’s why he had robin, so she could handle them for him

warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, crack, crocodile would leave you with the the bug just to run as far away as possible 💀🫶

- pls if he sees a single bug in his house he’d move out of his mansion and go to another sea of ocean 💀

- don’t get me wrong he takes you with him of course and makes sure you’re protected from those heinous insects. Get ready for loads of bug spray and pest killing chemicals, because your house is going to smell like that for at least a couple weeks 😃🫶

- so one day, you’re relaxing on the sofa, listening to some ambient music, the lights a bit dimmed, with the shutters open just enough for some light to shine through without being too harsh. It was a weekend, so it was due time for some relaxation!

- crocodile had just gotten finished with his work, and finally he’d get to spend some quality time with you. As he walked over, getting ready to join you on the couch, he froze.

- his eyes were locked onto your back, his breathing completely stopped, his body stiff as a board

- a tiny black speck on your back was… moving. Could that be a- SPIDER? You turned around because you heard footsteps, and you looked confused to see crocodile just- frozen, with wide, disgusted, fearful eyes as if you just committed some heinous crime against humanity

- “….Crocodile? You ok?”

- …

- “Hello???? Earth to crocodile?”

- “Y/n. You know I love you right?“

- “…What?”

- “Then you know why I must do this.”

- “What do you me- hey where’re you going?!”

- to go bag (he has one prepared for this exact situation bruh 💀) materializes out of thin air, then cue crocodile skedaddling out the door without explaining or warning you like a scared selfish asshole

- “CROCODILE IT’S NOT EVEN THE SIZE OF MY FINGERNAIL.”

- “IT’S AN INSECT Y/N.”

- “SO YOU’D LEAVE ME WITH THE FUCKING BUG SO YOU COULD GET AWAY FIRST-? 😭”

- “..well of course I would’ve sent someone back for you-“

- “SENT SOMEONE?!”

- see now ace is afraid of bugs too. But he’s not a selfish asshole like crocodile 💀 bro would at least try and protect you while screaming and sobbing

- you two were relaxing, snuggling together and watching the sun set on the deck of the Moby dick. It always never failed to amaze you with how many colors spread across the sky.

- ace absolutely adored these moments with you. It made him feel so- alive but also dead at the same time. Because how could one be this happy and in love with you?

- he looked down at you, and leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head, and that’s when he saw… it

- cue the scream of a demon plus a kid who just saw a clown

- “WTF ACE WHAT?!”

- “BABE- DO NOT MOVE. THERE’S A BIGASS BUG ON YOUR HEAD.”

- “EXCUSE ME?!”

- ace grabbed his shoe in a panic, and aimed directly at your head. But since he was so afraid, he was closing his eyes.. as he was swinging to kill the bug.. and he ended up slapping the absolute shit out of you instead of the bug

- “Phew, think I got it- Y/N?! WHAT HAPPENED ARE YOU OK?!”

- “WDYM AM I OK YOU SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF ME-“

- “Sorry.. OH SHIT I MISSED-“

- “NONONONO ACE WAIT-“

- you got hit five times before he actually got it. 💀🫶 I hope your brain isn’t damaged 😭

- luffy was one of those kids who collected beetles and watched them fight each other like it was the most intense battle he’s ever seen 💀

- so of course he’s not afraid of them. Bro likes them so much that he doesn’t know if the one piece is better or if beetles are better 😭

- luffy was rambling to you about the various different types of beetles, and which ones were the strongest in fights. He was giving you the WHOLE lowdown, their stats, weaknesses, special skills, traits, etc. 💀 you were surprised luffy had this level of knowledge on- anything really

- “Yeah so the atlas beetle can DEFINITELY take down the rhino beetle because of its really tough shell and- OH MY GOD-“

- “Huh-?! What’s wrong?!”

- “OMG OMG Y/N YOU HAVE AN ATLAS BEETLE ON YOUR HEAD!”

- “Luffy you better be joking. Is it even April yet?”

- “Nono it’s right here see?”

- he pulled it off your head and put it in front of your face. The way you froze, and the way your heart stopped, dropped down to your feet, and then climbed back up 😭

- you couldn’t even scream, you just got up and hauled ass away from whatever that abomination of a creature was

- “Y/n where are you going?! I have to show you how it fights!”

- “I’M PERFECTLY FINE NOT SEEING THAT LUFFY-“

- “But y/n they really like you! You’ve got a rhino beetle on your back too!”

- “WHAT?!”

- you legit stopped, dropped, and rolled 💀💀💀 poor robin was watching the whole thing transpire from really far away so she couldn’t hear the context of what the hell was happening 😭

a/n - bro I missed writing these. I’m a bit rusty tho 😂

[mikyur]

My favorite~

Yandere oc (Duke) x Fem/Reader

Warnings: obsession, romantic delusion, many wives, reader trapped in a mansion, Yandere stuff in general.

It's been a week since you've been trapped in this crazy duke's mansion. The good thing is that he lets you out of the room, that shamelessly the room he makes you sleep in is his room.

And he lets you leave like that because there's a strange magic around the house that means only whoever he wants can leave here, and obviously you can't get out since the door just won't open.

At this moment you are walking in the back garden which is even more beautiful than the front part of the big mansion, you are not alone he may even let you walk around but not alone, He always sends one of his wives to accompany you and now Lily is the one accompanying you, she's really nice, she's kind, cute and lively.

You really don't find all this strange? Like, he has some kind of power and he holds you and now me here. I question her again.

No, no, I think that's amazing! He's just protecting us from the outside world. She says smiling.

Protecting from what exactly?

Of all things, he said that the world outside is very dangerous, there are many types of monsters, very scary. She says with a serious face but it was supposed to be more cute than serious.

So he plays the knight in golden armor? You ask jokingly and laughing.

Yes! But he is as beautiful as any knight that could exist! She speaks again with her usual smile but this time there is a certain passion and admiration in her expression.

And have you by any chance seen many knights? I question her, really wanting to know the answer.

No, I haven't told you that I don't remember anything from my past, neither do I nor the other women, only you who are different and remember. She says thoughtfully.

Sorry, I must have forgotten and that must be his doing too. The last part I say to myself.

What did you say? She asks, stopping walking.

I just said it's a beautiful day to walk. I laugh nervously.

That's right, either way you're very lucky! She says smiling and I thank her for being naive.

Lucky? Why? Question getting confused.

Because you've just arrived and you're already sleeping with Mr. Duque! She says excitedly.

Oh- is that it? Well...if you say so... I feel embarrassed after her comment.

I only slept next to him 5 times... but we only slept ok!!! Now it was her turn to be embarrassed and it makes you laugh at her.

Ok, you just slept, I don't doubt that, relax, ok?You say, laughing, running your hand through her soft hair.

I just-just thought you might think the wrong things... sorry. She says softly, moving her own fingers with her head down and you can see that she is still blushing.

No need to apologize Lily. You say calmly to her and smile when she lifts her head to look at you.

Thank you for not being mad at me. She says smiling awkwardly.

I don't think I could ever be mad at you. You say to calm her down.

He really likes you. She says suddenly and you are confused.

What?

Mr. Duque never stops looking here. She says laughing.

With that you look around looking for him and there he is behind you leaning against one of the pillars staring at you specifically smiling.

How long has he been there? You ask slightly scared.

Since we came here. She says laughing as if this were something normal.

You look at her not knowing what to say and then look back at him. How could he have been there all this time and you didn't notice? It's certainly something you have to keep your guard up about at all times.

I see you're getting along well, and that's great. He says approaching us with a smile on his face.

I hope you are convincing her and stay with us dear Lily.

Of course yes, Mr Duke! He was telling her how dangerous the world is out there and that it's better to stay here. She says, all smiling and blushing, looking like a puppy trying to please her owner.

Really, the world out there is terrible and cruel, here is the best place to stay, here is beautiful and safe and I protect you all. He says in a serious tone and looks at me waiting for my reaction.

There may also be a monster in here. I speak in a mocking tone and smile at him.

This is impossible Y/n! Lord Duke would never allow a monster to be here! She says scared.

Lily is right, dear Y/n, I would never let a monster in here, but... maybe there is a good monster. He says and laughs at you.

Now let's go together, it's getting late and I don't want anyone getting sick here because of the cold. He speaks and I take the lead and Lily soon follows him like a good little dog.

What exactly are you? You ask yourself and find a way to find out before you leave this place.

Sorry for any writing errors 7w7

[unluckilyimnot]

wait ok what if there was one with “I’m still into you”, blue lock but the reader liked the guy when they used to go to school together and late they run into each other when they’re older and reconnect? Like he’s not a famous soccer/football player? Idk if that’s hard or confusing. For characters maybe at least rin and isagi?

15 “i’m still into you” with rin, isagi

m.list | rules | from this

note: hii thank you sm <3 it was just fine don’t worry, I hope you liked it ! Please be sure to mention the characters you want, it’s not like what I usually do

At first, you thought your eyes were playing a trick on you when you saw his tall and lean figure waiting when you entered your favorite coffee shop. Rin wasn't supposed to be in town anymore, he left after high school to study abroad and yet everything in the posture reminded you of him.

You couldn't help but tap the man's shoulder, it was just disturbing to see someone looking like him, in your two favorite coffee shops after all those years. So you weren't exactly surprised to catch his teal eyes at first looking down on you, instead a huge smile lit up your face.

“Rin, you're back in town !” your voice was loud since you couldn't contain your enthusiasm. “You should've texted me !”

“I didn't know how…” He confessed, now looking away with a small blush on his cheeks. Old habits die hard so maybe he secretly hoped to see you there again one day.

His name was called for him to get his very needed coffee and before he left your side, you told him to wait for you. You wanted to stay inside but since he took his to take out, you'll do the same. You were dying to know how it was, his study abroad.

It was still a bit cold for April but since it was to catch up with him, it suddenly seemed alright. He was still kinda reserved, even more after all those years, but you were happy to see that it didn't change your friendship – or him.

You used to have a huge crush on him back in high school, but never mentioned it to him. He wasn't the type to bother with friends so being around him was enough. University has been hard for both of you it seems, but you never really moved on from him sadly.

You felt kinda nostalgic at the feeling. You've never counted how many times you two meet up for a coffee then walk around the streets like this. You used to cherish this moment with him a lot so it felt weird to be back to it, almost five years later.

“It's good to go back to some olds habits, no ?” You suddenly asked, trying to fill the silence. “I used to think of those times together as dates, you know.” You joked but deep down knew it was true. It made you crack a resigned smile.

“Even after all those years, I think I'm still into you,” you mumble since he didn't answer anything. You thought it was stupid not that you've said it – he just got back, it was certainly too much for him.

And there was a heavy silence again. Neither of you looked at each other, well at least you didn't ; missing the way his eyes widened at your words.

“I've missed you, back there,” he confessed, stopping in his tracks but you couldn’t believe he just said that. It felt unreal and it was like a cat got your tongue for a second ; you had no idea how to answer.

“Can I take a sip ?” he asked, tilting his head at your coffee after making his way to your side. You just nodded, tossing it to him and waiting for his reaction. Without any surprises, it was too sweet for him but his disgusted face made you laugh.

Maybe you didn’t answer it after all. Maybe it was just a way to tell you that he used to like you as well, and that with time, you two might get even closer than before.

Isagi never expected to see you there but it seemed like neither did you. He almost didn’t recognize you, your hair was way longer and now you’ve got glasses – but that wasn’t so surprising since he hasn’t seen you since high school. It looks like both of you had the same address when it comes to choosing where to buy your new books. It was funny running into you here, he doesn’t remember you as a big fan of literature yet you now got one of his favorite books in hand.

“It’s been a while ! Are you free for, I don’t know, a drink ? A coffee ? You know, to catch up…” he hesitated a little, maybe you didn’t even want to talk with him but now we're kinda forced to. Yet a big smile appeared on your face as you nodded and Isagi suddenly remembered why he was obsessed with you during your last year.

He never really was popular, even if he was in the football team, yet you were always down to do projects with him, always saying that you two work well together. That’s probably where his crush started, and because you had the most beautiful smile he ever saw.

“You’re a teacher ?! No way !” He almost yelled while sitting at the front of a café, with a hot chocolate despite the hot weather of september. You giggled at his reaction.

“Yes, I’m teaching English, that’s why I’m reading this.” You showed him the book again and he nodded happily, ready to add something before you speak. “I remember it being one of your favorite books so I thought it was good to use it in class. I’ll use it for the next semester.” you explained and if you looked up a second earlier, you would’ve caught the blush on his cheeks.

“I never thought you’ll remember that…” he answered shyly, scratching his cheek and he thought to himself that it was bad.

His heart was racing in his ribcage even if it’s been years. He couldn’t tell if it was his old feelings coming back like a racing car or if he just found you pretty, and that fate was on his side to let him run into you again.

“What are you talking about ! I loved listening to you back in the day, it fed my fantasies ; my friends were tired of hearing about you,” you said it to sound like a joke, but to him it was shocking news.

You used to like him back ? He looked at you with shocked eyes, a million things going on in his little brain it made you worried. As you asked if he was ok, you seemed scared you'd said too much but instead he composed himself quickly, looking away from you.

“Sorry Isagi, it's just weird said like that,” it was your turn to act all awkward, you never expected him to react like this. You assumed he would laugh, to be honest.

“No I– it's weird too, but I think I'm still into you” He said with a blush but his eyes were looking at you with a confidence you rarely saw in him. “So maybe we can start again…?”

Let's be honest, he looked way too cute to say no.

[mixvyu]

Parfum d’étoile - episode fourty-one

scaramouche x reader smau

previous | masterlist | next

You weren’t late this time.

You were in front of your door gripping the fabric of your clothes in one hand and holding your phone in the other, waiting for him to text.

You turned your phone off then right back on to check the time.

3:32pm

Scaramouche’s classes ended at 3 and he texted you to let you know he’d stop by his dorm room to change but he was awfully long.

You started to think he might’ve stood you up and that you looked utterly stupid standing there.

As you started thinking that, he suddenly texted.

You could only see so much of the text on the notification that was displayed on your screen but you could read the words

‘Sorry, lots of things happened so I’m not…’

Your stomach dropped and you didn’t even want to read the rest of the text message but you were way too curious to not do so.

‘Sorry lots of things happened so i’m not gonna be able to pick u up rn but i’ll be there in less than 20 i swear’

You sighed in relief and your thumbs flew over your keyboard to text back.

´Dpn’t start a rext like tjat beo u scaref me… its finr tho i was gonba be late 2 neways.´

That was a lie.

´Good i feel less bad now’

He added a crying emoji at the end of his sentence, something out of character for him. You couldn’t tell if it was supposed to express relief or if he was making fun of you.

The cold air made your fingers shaky and it made it hard to type correctly but he didn’t seem to pay any mind to that.

You’ve been standing outside for almost 40 minutes now. The weather was awful and it even looked like rain would start pouring at any moment now. You felt like moving from your spot would be like giving up on him like standing in lines for something you’ve been waiting for all week and then chickening out and leaving your spot out of weakness but you got tired of standing there and sent him a text before even thinking about it.

‘Hey uh i’m not feeling that good laybe we should cancel ?’

You regretted it as soon as you sent it but he already read it so it was too late to unsend

‘? Are you sure??

You closed your phone as soon as you saw his reply, not wanting to answer or to face what you did but you realised he would see the read sign and that there was no getting out of this one.

‘Nvm i can manage haha!! I just need to take a pill i’ll be good’

You lied again.

Scaramouche replied almost immediately.

‘If you’re not feeling well we can do that another day i wouldn’t want to force you’

You clenched your jaw. You never understood his mood swing, how he could clown you one second then be the most caring person you’ve met the next it was almost annoying.

‘It’s okay!! I’m already ready anyways i wouldn’t want to waste a good outfit lmao’

Now it was your turn to use a crying emoji, still not sure of what it was supposed to express.

‘Ok :(‘

You chuckled at the frowny face. That too was out of character.

After ten minutes, there were still no sight of him.

You felt like every person that walked passed knew what situation you were in and were just pitying you and god it made you feel like shit.

Maybe waiting at home would’ve been smarter.

Just as you thought that a car you recognised pulled up.

You got up abruptly, opened the door in one swift movement and threw yourself on the passager seat without even looking at who was inside the vehicle.

You let yourself sink into the seat, sighing happily as the warm air hit your skin. And just as you thought you couldn’t get more comfortable you heard his voice

"Hey, so sorry i’m late i hope you didn’t have to wait for too long." Scaramouche said

You finally looked at him for the first time today

He was wearing black baggy pants but you couldn’t tell which top he decided to put on because of the coat covering it.

"It’s fine don’t worry. ‘Was just a bit cold."

"I have a jacket in the back, do you want to borrow it ?"

"Yeah i’d love to!"

He reached for the back seat without looking and pulled out a white jacket.

He handed it to you without a word and put his hand back on the steering wheel when you took it from his hands.

You put it on quickly and felt a tad bit disappointed when you recognise Kazuha’s signature cologne on it.

It wasn’t Scaramouche’s.

" So ? Where are we going ?" He said, finally breaking the silence

"Uhmm I’m not sure anymore… Do you want to go to the aquarium ?"

"Uh sure if that’s what you want"

"You don’t really seem enthusiastic."

"Fishes aren’t my thing to be honest, but if they’re yours…"

"What’s your thing then ?"

"I don’t know."

You let out a long sigh

"You’re not helping me ! Just pick a place and we’ll go !"

"You were the one that was supposed to plan it ! Why do I have to choose ?!"

God you forgot how annoying he could be.

"Ok, ok. What about the zoo ?"

"It’s like an hour drive, though…"

"The arcade ??"

"I don’t have any coins."

"The museum ?"

"It’s a bit boring isn’t it ?"

"Ok just kill yourself." You let out a sound that could only be described as a growl "where do you want to go ?"

"Anywhere is fine" he stopped the car engine realising that decided where to go was going to take longer than intended

"Anywhere is not fine ! You don’t like any of my suggestions."

"I mean, yeah they suck but if you want to go then we’ll go. Everything is fine if you’re here."

"Don’t try to romance me, asshole ! My suggestions are great !"

"I already went to all those places a thousand times so it’s not really interesting frankly."

You mumbled an almost inaudible ‘sorry rich boy’ before sighing for the thousandth time

"What about that library/coffee shop at the mall ? They opened like a week ago."

He turned to look at you so fast you thought he’d snap his neck

"They’re open?! Why didn’t you tell me that before ?! Let’s go !" He said restarting the car.

★

You took a seat at one of the few tables that were in place at the back of the library.

You hoped to use that face to face moment to talk to Scaramouche more before having to tell him that you like him even thought you don’t know him as much as you wish you did.

But that hope quickly died down when you saw that he did everything but stay in place.

He seemed to love books more than anything because he was going from aisle to aisle grabbing some of them so that he could read the back and either putting them back where they belong or nesting them under his arm.

After 20 minutes of that he sat down in front of you, pushed his cup aside and put down the 7 books he had picked up.

Some were novels, some were mangas, some were comics. The genre also seemed to be very different from one book to another.

"I’m so happy they restocked, i’m going to read all of them as fast as possible." He said, taking a sip of his coffee and making a funny face when he realised it was now lukewarm.

"So… you like books, eh ?" You laughed, not finding anything else to say to start a conversation

"Yeah, books are great."

"What’s your favourite ?"

He leaned even more into the backrest of his chair

"Uhm… if i had to say one it would probably be…"

He clicked his tongue not really knowing what to answer

"Oh ! The house of leaves is a super cool one ! I love it !" He exclaimed in a ‘obviously why didn’t i think of that one before’ voice.

"Oh really ? I never heard of it i should check it out."

"What’s your favourite ?"

"Uhm… I don’t really know"

He nodded.

If the entirety of the date was going to be this way, it was going to feel painfully awkward.

★

The walk back to the car was awkward as well even after the many attempts that both of you had at making conversation.

Scaramouche looked as good as ever even though he still didn’t discard of his coat and you were dying to see what was underneath and what kind of outfit he managed to pull together this time.

While in the parking lot, you noticed a few people staring at him and it almost made you feel proud.

"You feeling ok ?" He asked as soon as the car doors closed " you shouldn’t have forced yourself to come if you were feeling bad."

"I’m fine. It’s fine." You sighed "i’m fine."

"The more you say it the less i believe you." He laid his palm against your forehead "well, you don’t feel hot so that’s great." His hand traveled from your forehead to your cheek.

´If you keeps touching you like that, I might start feeling hot.´ you thought but didn’t dare to say out loud.

He looked at your eyes then your lips then your eyes again and you hoped to God he’d just kiss you but instead he took his hand off your face and rested his head back into the car seat headrest.

"So ? Where are we going next ?"

"Uhm…" you checked the time. It was already pushing 8pm "we could go eat."

"Sure that’s fine by me. Where ?"

"I’ll let you pick" you said trying to sound gentlemanly but knowing it was only because you had no idea what to pick and judging by his face, you didn’t fool him.

"We could go to a japanese restaurant."

"Don’t you already eat japanese at home ? It’s a bit boring for you isn’t it ?"

"It’s fine i haven’t had it in a while and i miss it. I’m doing this for me mostly."

You knew he was lying.

"I saw some leftovers when i went over, though ? If you want me to try it just say so." You teased

All he did was hum before starting the car engine."

★

Unlike what you expected, you weren’t face to face with him but instead sitting next to each other at a sushi bar.

"I haven’t had sushi in forever." You clapped your hands, excited for the huge free meal you were about to get.

"I could eat those forever, i’ll never get tired."

You downed the 4 makis you grabbed on the moving tray as soon as they were in front of you.

Before you could even grab something else, a green plate of three tempura was gently placed on top of the plate you just cleaned.

"Are you trying to shut me up ?"

"How’d you guess ?" He smirked half jokingly. "Try those next"

"If you insist !"

You took a bite out of it but before you could have a second one you suddenly felt like somebody was looking at you.

"What ? Were you planning on eating those or something ?" You didn’t have to stare back at him to know that it was his eyes that were gazing at you.

"No, no."

You took a second bite but almost choked when you felt his cold palm on your cheek.

You pulled away startled and uncomfortable by the sudden cold.

"What’s your deal, dude ?" You said, feeling your face heating up.

"Just checkin’ to see if you felt less warm than earlier."

"You said I didn’t feel warm at all earlier."

He looked away staring down at the plate of sushi he helped himself to previously

"Checking to see if it feel warmer then, i guess."

"God, you’ll be the death of me one day."

★

"You should take me out more often."

"Just so you can use me and drain my finances ? No way, i’m never doing this again."

You were leaning against the car, trying your best not to cough as the smoke from the cigarette Scaramouche lit made it’s way through your nostrils.

He seemed to noticed, telling you at least five time that if the smell was bothering you, he could open up the car and you could enjoy all the clean air you wanted but you so desperately wanted to stay close to him.

"Do you smoke a lot ?"

Scaramouche brought the cigarette to his lips, nestling it between them before inhale deeply. He brought it back to his side before releasing the breath he was holding, creating a cloud of fog in front of him.

He took so long to answer you thought he didn’t hear

"Not really. Tonight’s just a great night for a smoke." He finally said.

"How so ?"

He turned and glanced at you before looking up to the sky.

"The sun is setting, the sky is a mix of purple and orange, we’re in an empty parking lot talking about trivial stuff, it’s a friday night. It’s great for a smoke."

You giggled "When did you become so poetic ?"

He sat down, back against the driver’s side door and you did the same.

He put his cigarette out on the floor and rested his head on your shoulder.

"Are you tired ?" You asked, trying to stop your voice from cracking

"Yeah. Just a bit. Do you want to go anywhere else ?"

"No, not today."

Silence installed itself, a non awkward one this time. Only the sound of the wind let itself be heard and the few screams and giggles from the skatepark not too far.

"I love you, kuni."

He straightened up instantly

"What ?"

"I think I do ? Have feelings for you, I mean. I’m pretty certain."

"Wait… Huh ??"

You got up before he could even make sense of the situation

"Today was nice. I live not too far so i’ll walk. Thank you for driving me around." If you had the guts you would’ve kissed his forehead

You fled before he even had the chance to speak.

Extras !

• car seat headrest reference

• "erm i don’t like sushi 🤓☝️" WELL TOO BAD 👎👎

★彡Taglist! [open]

@gekkow-deactivated20230703 @aemiko @veekoko @kichiyoshi @scaramouchelover4ever @sukunasrealgf @lxkeeeee @kunisblog @yukiipc @brfrtbrt @simpforsubmissivemen @featuredtofu @fanfictionenthusiast @beriiov @lyzisbitchingagain @bluebelony @ryomiye @reinoodle @bananasquash @mikukksks @sakiimeo @kitanablades @pennyluvr @sakurapeach @crystalsguitar @feiherp @deluluangell @gracefulace200 @apinu @elernity @st4romii @cayl33n @ahseya @yelleloww @prettiestgirlxoxo @yoichiislovie @silly-ez @helix-frscr @morima2137 @boxedbest @serossidechick @yuraasia @xirthia @anastaxiah @angeilix @gyuhairclips @mikalei @yuuichilover @kacelah @sketcheeee @beebotea @keqing15 @yourmotherslover420 @m00mie-m00 @kyon-cherri @jkcryzzlis @im-inlovewithy0u @milceslv @certaindreampost @meowmeowmau @nnasv

[jamiedc-they-them]

Good People - Part II: Do Unto Others (Platonic)

Part 1 is here!

NOTE: Once again, this series (maybe? if people like it and their dynamic?) will be shorter pieces around certain scenes rather than full episodes. Kind of like summaries with specific lil bits with the main focus being Lucy and Y/N's friendship. Enjoy!

Chapter Summary: You take Lucy to Filly. A gunfight ensues. Lucy surprises you with loyalty.

"I thought I'd have to marry my Cousin," Lucy tells you as you both start to leave the desert and enter a forest area.

"...Uh...Ok?" you say, not really sure how to react to the information your new friend has just given you.

"Is that not...is that now how things are done up here? What about the survival of the Human Race?"

You snort, helping her over a log, "Don't think that's the thing on a lot of people's minds."

"How so?" she asks, genuinley confused.

"More so just concerned about the whole, survival of the self, type thing."

"That's understandable. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"I won't."

"No, I meant like, ask me. 'Sure, go ahead.'"

"Oh. Sorry. Still getting used to the lingo out here."

You snort again, "ain't too much to learn. And, you're fine, wasn't the worse miscommunication."

She nods, smile on her face, "okey dokey."

You keep walking on, passing two people. You move out of their way, but Lucy gives them a friendly greeting. Nothing comes of it, but you still find yourself leaning in close to her - and accidentally making her jump as she didn't see that you had stopped - and saying to her, "try not to do that in general when out, ok? In towns? Maybe, especially with your quest. But out here," you move your finger in a circular motion, "don't."

"Can I ask why? Nothing bad happened," you partly pity and find her innocence kind of endearing.

"Just...this time it didn't go bad. It might not next time."

"Sorry."

"Don't - don't be sorry," you say, finding your guard going down a bit at her genuine apology, "just...lessons learnt, right?"

She nods, enthusiastically, "yes. One hundo percento!"

You shake your head, "alrighty then. Onward to Filly."

Filly wasn't a bad town. It had all sorts of life in it, not all nice mind, and a certain charm with the environment it laid in. It was also what led you to realise that, for most of your time surviving, you had spent it wandering in circles essentially, with you almost always ending up back here and some point.

Lucy moves between two people, reaching out and grabbing your hand to make sure you don't get lost. She tightens it a bit as you look back at the two people as they look at Lucy, discussing to themselves about the Vault Dweller.

"Y/N, come on," she says, tugging on your hand, "no need to start a fight."

Your hand unfurls from the fist it was in.

You nod at her, she nods back.

A vendor tries to get her to try some meat; she tries to find information on her dad; the vendor just goes back to selling meat.

"Move on. Come on. Don't wanna get trapped here," you say, trying to usher Lucy along.

"But he might --" Lucy protests.

"Trust me?" you ask, attempting to just keep her moving.

Yet --

"I do," Lucy says.

It makes you both pause.

"What?" she asks, genuinley confused.

"That quick, huh?"

She nods, now moving of her own volition.

"Like I said, good judge of character."

She walks on a bit, as you stay put.

"Huh," you say. You'd never been told that before. A snake, sure. Or some other bad word. But never someone to be trusted. Sounded foreign to you.

Still, it made you have a slight spring in your step - or as much as you could, given your current predicament.

Lucy looks in wonder at the place, "Wow-wee!" she says.

"Not a bad looker, is it? End of the world really brings out the creativity in people."

"I didn't expect this, for sure," she admits. Maybe it's her honesty, the ability to have her guard almost always be down, that makes you admire her a bit more. She trusts easily. It shakes you a bit, how quickly she both did that and gave you her water. Things like that are worth gold out here. And yet she gave it to you freely.

She's the one with that dart gun, and yet you find yourself being more of the protector. She accidentally barges shoulder with someone, and apologises. The man, a towering figure, looks her up and down. You stand between them, until his friend hits him as well.

"They might have something for you," you say, nodding to the shop, "I'll stay with you until you find something here. Then, let you be on your way."

"Wait, you aren't coming with me to my dad?" she asks, saddened.

"I mean, I didn't think so? If she has something, then you know where to go. I told you the golden rule: don't fuck with people, and they won't with you. About all you need to know really. That, and you got that," you nod to her weapon, "so you should be ok."

"'Should'?"

You sigh, running a hand on your face. You feel off, "yeah. I mean, I know you said about your vault and all, but that life is too good for someone like me."

"That's not true," she says, hurt on your behalf.

You hold a hand up, "look, we'll talk after, ok? You just go in first, see if she knows anything, then go from there, ok?"

She nods, mood dampened a little. She goes in; you sit in a chair, coughing a few times as you do. You don't know if it's the heat, or what, but something is dragging you down. You just hope it's not this infection. That would be an embarrassing way to go.

Time ticks by, before she leaves, face looking depressed.

"What happened?" you ask. But you don't get an answer, instead, she pauses, looking to a man with glasses.

He warns her about going back to her vault. That it isn't safe here. You chuckle, a dry one but still, he's hit the nail on the head.

He then surprises you both, he tells her facts about her vault: their primary crop is corn; there is a telesonic projector in your farm; it loops images of the Nebraskan countryside; meritocracy - whatever that means - something about the right thing apparently.

You miss the rest, and jolt at a hand on your shoulder. It's Lucy, who is looking at you in concern. She says something, looks away from you, but the voices overlap until -

"It's ok," Lucy says, softly. You look, and see the man she was talking to, a doctor - round glasses, a kind smile on his aged face, "he's a doctor."

"I don't have many - or any tools," he says, looking apologetic.

You wave him off, "not like I have many - or any caps."

He chuckles, leaning down a bit to look at you, "I think, in your condition, I can make an exception," you chuckle a bit this time - it instantly goes into a cough, "let's have a look at you," he reaches out, and you recoil, "to help, I will need to touch."

You seem to forget Lucy had previously held your hand and you had felt nothing of it, but you flinch when even she touches you and puts a hand on your knee.

"Y/N, this is the only way to help you," she insists, "you helped me get here. And, to be honest, I don't really want to leave you in this condition."

You look at her pleading eyes. She's only known you for an hour, tops, and yet she wants the genuine best for you.

You've been looked at like that before, it didn't end well. Friendships never did.

Still, you find yourself nodding. The doctor is gentle with his touch, looking at your scratches.

"I believe it is this one," he says, gesturing to one on your torn trousers being exposed to everything.

"Someone urinated on it," Lucy says.

The doctor looks to you, you confirm it, "ah, then this is what may of caused the infection. Either that, or general exposure to wasteland itself. How long have you had this wound?"

"I honestly do not know."

The doctor nods, stands, and readjusts his glasses, "I will try find you a Stimpack inside, and see if that helps your pain."

The woman from inside the shop comes out, and helps the doctor 'Wilzig' inside. Lucy helps you up. However, before anything else can happen, a Ghoul stands up, calling out to him.

Wilzig's leg is blown off. There's a tense moment, before bullets start flying. A stray bullet catches you on the shoulder. You stumble into the store. You look for a weapon, anything to help keep yourself and Lucy alive as the gunshots keep flying.

"Y/N. Y/N!" Lucy says, making sure not to touch you, but close enough to catch you if you fall, "you can't fight like this! You need to hide!"

"I ain't hiding!" you say, memories of a previous failure flashing in your mind, "not with that monster outside."

"I'll deal with him."

"With that little piss shooter?!" you snap, adrenaline pushing you at this point. A couple more coughs leave you.

"Look, you can't help like this, ok?" she says, taking her weapon out. And, despite your own circumstances, you can see clearly that it's drugs loaded into the thing - it'll do nothing here, "I will solve this as peacefully as I can, ok."

"That really ain't a good idea -"

"Trust me, Y/N. Ok? Golden rule. I have mine and you have yours. Right now, I'm gonna use mine, but if it goes bad, I'll use yours and this."

You can't even stop her as she goes outside.

The Ghoul seems almost annoyed at this whole thing. But, before he can shoot Lucy, a Brotherhood member appears in a suit, and blocks shots aimed for Lucy as they both come through the wall.

With the distraction, you take your moment. You don't have a gone, but you may as well...help. The good doctor helped you after all.

With Lucy and the shop owner's help, you pull Wilzig inside. They sit him down on a seat, as your wounds get to you. You stumble.

Lucy, in an instant, catches you and puts you on your own seat.

"Holy moly," Lucy says, looking at your bleeding shoulder, "that is in deep.

"I know," you say, trying to find something to pull it out with. The shop owner seems to know this, and pushes a knife towards you. You take it, and take a few steadying breaths.

Your hand shakes, adrenaline not helping you here at all. You're scared too. Have whatever the hell is wrong with you plus your fear. Not a great combo.

Lucy, attempting to ignore the Wilzig having a robotic foot being shoved into him, looks at you and approaches you.

"Here," she says, taking your hand and taking the knife, "let me."

"You even know what you're doing?"

She shrugs, "steadier hand, somehow," she quips, holding out her hand and comparing it to yours, "and, no time like the present."

You suppose you have like no options, so you just nod.

"You wanna know my golden rule?" she asks, trying to distract you as she psyches herself up. You make a noise she assumes is 'ok' and continues, "'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.'" she says, "you helped me, I'll help you. That is how we rebuild."

"The hell you jump from me to rebui--" you are cut off when Lucy jabs the knife into your shoulder. A burning white flash hits your vision. You hear a plethora of 'sorry!' leave her, but you finally the pain start to fade a small bit when you feel the knife be removed along with the bullet casing.

"Done! Done!" Lucy says. You try and focus your breathing and mind, trying to escape the pain.

You feel a glass of something be put in your hand. You down it. You feel the burn of some alcoholic drink.

"Now," the shopkeeper says," that should keep your friend going for a little bit. At least, until they find a Stimpack. I'm sure you'll find one on your way to Moldaver. You feel her pat you - you don't flinch, too focused on being in the present and not spinning, "you alright, kid?"

You give a thumbs up.

She gives you another pat. You open your eyes. You don't feel amazing. But, you don't feel as worse, so in this world that's positively amazing.

"I'll sneak you three out back," the shopkeeper says.

She keeps her word. Once again, something rare here.

Lucy, yourself, and Wilzig walk through the wasteland. Lucy keeps checking her pip boy every so often.

He passes away, and Lucy looks to the blade she has been given. It startles her when it activates.

You come to a rest, and your day gets even better:

Wilzig has taken a cyanide pill, and you need to decapitate him to keep going and have something to give Moldaver.

"Okey dokey, Luce," she says to herself, "you can do this. You can do this. Just...think of it as a massive knife that...moves, and you'll be -"

It activates again and she drops it. She doesn't reach it first, however, you do.

"Look away, is all I'll say."

"No, Y/N. No, you don't have to do this --"

"'Do unto others', right?" You nod, preparing yourself for the grim task, "I got this, ok? Just, look away, please? It'll get real messy."

She stutters a few times; seemingly wanting to persist, thank you, and object all in one go. But, she turns around. You look back at the body.

"Here we go..." you tell yourself, before activating the blade.

Guess you're in this now...fully.

Part 3

[spectrerie]

Ok I have no idea if your requests are on or not because I literally never request but I love your writing so here I am! Anyways I can’t stop thinking about ghost x hacker reader who works with 141 and they have to go with the guys on a mission to like hack through security systems or something (idk) but ghost absolutely refuses to let them go like he is so against it. And maybe while they’re on the mission the reader gets hurt or something idrk I haven’t thought that far ahead but I thought you would do so good with this idea!!! Thank you!!

Hello!!!!!!! This request is so good! I got a bit carried away and wrote 3.5k words on it lmaoo, but I'm happy with it now, so I'll post it as an answer to this ask

If you die, I swear I'll kill you.

Simon Ghost Riley x gn!reader

Please enjoy this anon, and anyone else who reads it.

TW: injury, slight workplace bullying, enemies(?) to friends

“With all due respect, sir, no. I don’t need to babysit some egg-head while I’m in the field.” Ghost sat with his arms crossed, knees apart, filling his chair and the room with his presence. 

You glanced at Price, you’d both expected this reaction, but it still hurt to hear him say it so easily.  For nearly two years you’d put your best foot forward. Did everything to get him to like you until it became clear that he never would. You were ready to settle for respect, for a crumb of acknowledgement. Though soon that too was clearly out of your reach. Now you were just happy to keep out of his way. You weren’t part of the 141, no matter how much information you’d stolen for them, no matter how much data you mined for them, no matter how many sleepless nights you’d given them. You weren’t a soldier. Ghost made sure to remind you of that at every chance he got. 

At every debrief he treated you like you were just a piece of the furniture. He ignored you with ease, asking questions to everyone but you. Making plans and strategising with everyone’s strengths in mind but yours. Any information he needed about what you could do he’d obtained through Captain Price. Often with you in the same room, going over your head like you were some machinery he’d be crazy to speak to. 

You typed and looked through files. You were a glorified intern as far as he was concerned. 

“Well Lieutenant, it’s not up to you, is it? Owl is going with you, and that’s final.” 

A part of you cringed at the nickname despite the joy it normally filled you with. You’d felt honoured when Soap had coined it. The night owl of the 141, playing with mice and bringing veritable feasts of information back to the nest. But hearing it used in front of Ghost felt wrong. You could feel his eyes roll without even looking at him. 

You didn’t need a call sign. 

You didn’t need to be closer to the 141.  

You didn’t even need a name, because they didn’t need you. 

“Yes, sir.” He said as he stood to attention, mumbling his acknowledgement to the Captain            as he prepared for his dismissal. 

“Final brief at 0400. Wheels up at 0500, understood?” Price barked out at the two of you. You both gave your acknowledgement and he nodded, satisfied for now. 

“Alright, dismissed.” 

Ghost made a quick exit, as though being in your presence was more than enough to make him ill. You sighed and began to move, but a hand at your shoulder stopped you. 

“Owl, don’t let him get to you. You’re a part of this team, and you’re needed on this mission. I wouldn’t send you out if I didn’t believe you needed to be there.” 

You nodded, dropping you head to pull back the tears that threatened to fall. 

“Thank you, sir. I won’t let you down.” 

“I know you won’t. Your intel has always been good. We don’t have the time to wait for the boys to bring the drives back, if they even knew what to look for, time isn’t on our side.” 

You knew that better than anyone. If only Lieutenant Riley would admit that you weren’t an incompetent civilian, maybe things would go along quicker. 

 — — — 

“Alright boys, this one should be simple, yeah? We go in, subdue any hostiles, grab the tech and get the fuck out. I don’t want any mistakes, I don’t want any problems,” Ghost’s eyes stopped at you as he said the last word, “I don’t want any bad news, understood?” He said as his voice boomed over the sound of the plane's engine. 

“Yes sir!” The group called out as one. This would be easy, as he said. You didn’t have to do too much, just follow the group and live long enough to break through the encrypted drives. From their you could relay the information back to Price and Laswell. Simple. 

Your eyes drew closed as you took in a breath, trying to centre yourself. Get in, get the drives, get out. Job done. You repeated your mantra until you fell into a fitful sleep.

You woke with a start as your name was barked out. 

Lieutenant Riley stood over you, arms crossed. An obvious scowl beneath his mask. 

“Gotten enough beauty sleep, sunshine?” 

The plane was empty, your teammates stood out on the makeshift runway, watching your change out of earshot. The late evening sun hung low on the horizon, casting long shadows into the plane.

“I’m sorry sir, I just wanted to be rested for the mission.” 

“Well, aren’t you considerate, thank you so much, Pigeon.” His voice dripped with a saccharine sarcasm that cut you to your core. You hate that he’d made a mockery of the callsign you were so fond of. You were sure other people had slept on the flight over. Why was he singling you out so cruelly? 

“Are you still on your bloody arse?” He barked out, loud enough too draw the attention of your teammates. “Sorry, sir!” you replied as you jumped up. Your body was yanked back with a start, bucking against the fastening that had kept you in your seat. Your head knocked back against the body of the plane, tilting your helmet over your eyes. 

“Oh fucking hell, Pigeon. If you get yourself killed on this bloody mission, I’ll murder you.” His hand made quick work of your seatbelt, snatching it off you in one sharp motion, sending you lurching forward.

If only you’d had the confidence to tell him off. 

If only you had the kind of easy relationship with him that he had with everyone else, one that transcended rank enough to quip back at him. 

If only he didn’t hate you. 

If only he could see you. Not just look at you scornfully, but see you. See your efforts, see your strength. 

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” You said with your eyes focused on the floor. Your gaze could have cut two pinholes in the undercarriage of the plane. You grabbed your gear and rushed down the gangway, thankful Ghost hadn’t pointed out all the things he found wrong with your apology. With your posture, with your face, with your breathing, with your existence. 

“Alright. It’s 30 klicks to their base, but we’ll have to trek the last 5k. Johnny, you get us in, Gaz and I will clear a path while you watch our six. You,” Lieutenant Riley said with derision, “don’t die and find the drives after we’ve swept the place, understood?” You nodded sharply. 

“Alright lads, this one’s easy. Any hostiles will be eliminated on sight, in and out, home in time for Eastenders.” Soap and Gaz laughed easily at Simon’s joke. You weren’t sure if you were allowed to show any crumb of happiness in front of him. Maybe he’d yank your tongue out if you so much  as chuckled and bring it home for his dog. 

As you made your way to the jeep Soap fell into step with you. 

“Ye alright?” He asked, a gentle smile playing on his face. How could you be alright? He was always so kind to you, and Kyle always treated you with respect. Even the KorTac boys said ‘hello’, or ‘thanks for the intel’ once in a while whenever you ran into them. Ghost seemed pissed that he had to breathe the same air as you. 

A short sigh escaped before you could regain your composure, “yeah, I’m okay. It’s just… I don’t want to mess up. It’s my first time really out in the field and—” and Lieutenant Riley, your best friend and our commanding officer hates my guts and doesn’t care to hide it. “And I just want to do well.” Soap nodded, though he couldn’t really understand. He’d been a soldier since he was 18. He’d proven himself time and time again even before he ever saw active duty. His abilities were undeniable. 

You, as Ghost loved to remind you and everyone around you, were a desk jockey egg-head recruited after you’d been caught ransoming credit card companies and running stings on pedophiles with your ‘internet pals’. Caught or betrayed, the thought still plagued you, though the end result had been a job offer from the British Army in lieu of prison time. Soap and Gaz thought you were a genius, some sort of cyber Robin Hood fighting the good fight from smokey internet cafes or 6 monitor supercomputers. Captain Price saw you as a clever kid with good intentions but questionable methods. 

Ghost… well Ghost made no secret of the fact he thought you were an egg-head. An energy  drink guzzling college drop-out with a lot of free time and no common sense. A basement dweller with more waifu body pillows than real life friends. A useless kid with no place in battle, regardless of the fact that your intel was what told him where to go more times than not. 

“He doesn’t hate you, he’s just… well he’s just Ghost. He’s never worked with you, I’m sure things will change after this.” You nodded, thankful for the reassurance though you didn’t really buy much of it. As you opened the jeep door and slid into one of the back seats you noticed Ghost’s eyes were trained on you through the rearview mirror. Watching for something to pick on you for, of course. 

You held his gaze as you closed the door and dropped your gear bag between your feet. ‘That’s right Lt, I can sit down without strangling myself on the seatbelt’ you longed to say to him. You settled for holding his gaze and raising your eyebrows at him. As the jeep rumbled to life you could have sworn you heard a laugh. 

— — — 

Ghost glanced at the pistol holstered on you thigh, as well as the knife sheathed at your hip. The urge to ramble about your right to protect yourself and defend your teammates bubbled up in your chest, the citric need to bite back at him almost won. Thankfully he spoke before you did. 

“You do know how to use that, right?” He whispered to you, crouched to your right, Gaz to your left. You’d gone through basic gun training and safety as well as first aid at Captain Price’s insistence once you’d begun working more and more with the 141. A fact you were sure Ghost knew. He’d never let you carry a weapon without a direct order from Price. A direct order not to snatch it on sight and send you to sit in a corner and think about how stupid you were. 

“Of course, sir,” you quipped back. Your sarcasm was cut with anxiety. This was real. You didn’t have to kill anyone, you just had to keep up and not die. But this was so real. A gun range was nothing in comparison. The slide of the gravel beneath your boots, the heat of your comrades beside you, the dull green of the night vision. This was real. 

“Ghost, do you copy? 30 seconds to detonation.” Soap’s voice was tinny through the comm on Ghost’s shoulder. 

30 seconds? 

Seconds?!

Your heart pumped a punishing beat as the reality of it all sunk deeper and deeper. 

A hand on your knee brought you back to the moment. “Look at me,” the last voice you’d ever expect to comfort you was all that filled your ears. The surprise washed away the fear for a moment as you looked into Ghost’s eyes. 

“The second you hear the blast, stay low and follow us, okay? You’ll want to jump up, don’t.”

“Okay.” 

His dark eyes stared into you as he spoke. “Keep your weapon in your hands, keep your eyes on me, keep up, and keep calm. This is the fun part.” A low chuckled from Gaz calmed you further. 

“I’ve got your six, just focus on moving with the group, okay?” Gaz whispered beside you. 

“Okay.”

All you could do was agree, any eloquence you’d had before had long since dissipated. 

A deafening boom rang out and the urge to run flooded every nerve in your body. You watched Ghost. 

Keep your eyes on me

You focused on Ghost’s broad back as you moved with him. Focused on keeping close. On surviving. 

The next minutes were a blur of gun fire and barked out commands. The muzzle flash of the weapons around you was enough to make the night vision useless and so with shaky hands and shallow breaths you pushed the goggles up as you moved through a maze of rooms with Ghost as your guide. 

A heavy hand against your chest stopped you before you had a chance to run into your Lieutenant. 

“Gaz, now.” He barked quickly as a heavy boot made contact with the door, pushing it from the frame. Garrick fired as he moved deftly into the room, sweeping the corner as Ghost fired at a figure hunched over a laptop. 

Everything was happening too quickly. You were pushed into the room, or pulled, you couldn’t know. As your body entered your mind stayed back and watched as a figure rose from a position under the desk. Before you could even see their eyes they hit the floor with a thud. 

A wave of nausea spread through you as you moved to where they’d been, pushing the bodies away from the computer as you grabbed it and began to type a series of commands into the terminal. Your hands shook as you pushed a thumb-drive into a port and watched as your code froze the deletion process. You left that to work as you pulled open desk drawers and riffled through their contents, shovelling everything in sight into your pack. 

“Hurry up!” 

You obeyed, moving quicker as you grabbed files and thick plastic drives with greedy, shaking hands. The final drawer was locked tight. You wanted to call out for a key but shame held you tongue. You pulled at it and it held firm. Ghost could have yanked it open with one hand, you were sure. His presence in the room motivated you to think like a soldier. Think like him. 

‘I’m not useless. I’m not useless. I’m not useless.’ You chanted to yourself as you reached to you side and gripped your knife. Jamming it into a gap in the drawer you pushed your whole weight onto it and heard a click. 

Yes. You weren’t useless after all. 

“Owl! Wait!” 

With unbridled euphoria you yanked the drawer open and felt your body and mind reconnect with a violent snap. Like a spark to gas you ignited with something you couldn’t recognise. Warmth spread through your middle as you glanced down into the drawer. It was empty. 

“Oh shit.”

“Soap call in a medevac, now!” 

Why was it empty? Were they all shouting because it was empty?

Your hand dug into the wooden cube, patting around until you felt something give. You pushed up into it and heard something drop. Another hard drive. 

“Owl, Owl you need to move, now.” 

A firm hand grasped you by the shoulder and you shook it off. You bent down to pick up the drive and a white hot pain seared your abdomen. You ignored it, and with a sharp wince you grabbed the final drive. 

Why were your hands shaking so much? Was it the excitement of war?

You turned to collect the laptop but it was already in Gaz’s hands. He was shoving it into your pack as Ghost grabbed the drive in your hand and tossed it to him. 

“No! No, I have to decrypt the—”

“You have to move. Now.” Ghost retorted sharply as he angled himself to block your view of Gaz. 

When had they stripped you of your pack? 

Why was Lieutenant Riley suddenly pushing you out the door you’d all just come through?

How were you able to see your group moving through the halls? Watching the retreat from an unnatural vantage point, making note of the thick trail of something syrupy behind you. 

Was that blood? Did your sloppiness get one of them injured?

— — — 

The jeep you’d left 5 kilometres away speed into view in front of the compound you’d just sacked. 

Was it moving or were you? 

Hands pushed you into it and began pulling off the kevlar and fabric of covering your torso. 

‘Is it bad?” Soap’s voice came from the front of the vehicle. 

“No, its not too bad,” Ghost said to you rather than Soap. You craned your head down to look at the wound, but a strong hand tilted your chin away. 

“I thought I told you to keep your eyes on me, Pigeon” he said lowly as you searched his face for some clue of what was happening. His derisive diminutive sounded odd now, it was laced with something tender. 

“Sorry lieutenant, I just wanted to—” you didn’t know how to finish. 

I just wanted to see for myself? 

I just wanted to be a part of the team?

“— I just wanted to impress you. I’m sorry, sir.” You mumbled as your lids grew heavy. 

The pressure on your stomach increased as Ghost spoke to you in low whispers. “Impress me? How? By falling asleep? We’ve already talked about that, soldier. I told you to keep your eyes on me. That’s an order.” 

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” 

— — — 

Your eyes fluttered open, catching a glimpse of a white stucco ceiling. 

Shit. 

Ghost would kill you for falling asleep again. As you tried to sit up your body barked out in protest. A dull ache blanketed your left side and pulsed through you. 

A hand pushed you back down gently. Resting for a beat on your shoulder before pulling away.

“Slow down, kid. You’ll rip your stitches out.” You knew that voice. You turned your head to look at the Lieutenant. You’d already known it was him, all that surprised you was the lack of contempt in his voice. 

You couldn’t speak. You just looked around, taking in the small makeshift clinic you’d found yourself in. 

“The hospital was too far,” Ghost said, answering the question you mind was already forming, “so they set this up in a safe house nearby.” You nodded, laying back against the pillows. “Sir? What happened?” 

You heard Lieutenant Riley sigh as you stared up at the ceiling above you. Too timid to look at him as he recounted your failures on the mission. 

“The drawer was rigged. If you’d been taller, or wider, the shrapnel that hit you would have been fatal, Owl.” 

The name drew your eyes to him before you could stop yourself. 

“I’ve graduated from Pigeon?” You asked, trying to cut the tension in the small room. He laughed,  and the sound was enough to make the pain in your abdomen dissipate. 

You’d made him laugh.

You had made Ghost laugh. 

“You got injured, and didn’t give up. That was a tough thing you did, Owl. I’m proud of you.” 

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, it took everything you had not to let them fall. A warm  on hand your head was what completely undid you. Hot tears slipped out of your closed eyes as Lieutenant Riley stroked your hair more gently than you’d ever thought a man of his size was capable of. 

“You did well, don’t worry.” 

You gathered yourself, remembering the objective of the mission. “How long was I out, sir? Has the  operation window passed?” 

He pulled his hand back slowly before he spoke. “Intel over here took a look at some of the materials before sending them back with Soap and Gaz. The boys back home will decrypt as much as they can while you’re healing up here. Doc said you’d be okay to fly within 48 hours.” 

You nodded, trying to keep your disappointment in check. You wouldn’t even get a chance to do what you were good at. 

“But,” Ghost said slowly, drawing your attention away from the pity party you’d already began throwing for yourself. “No one could make heads or tails of what was on the laptop.” 

“So its useless then?” You asked, trying to push the hurt out of your voice. 

“Oh I wouldn’t say that,” Ghost let out a low chuckle. God, you’d become addicted to that sound already. “Whatever you plugged into it before you got hurt completely stumped everyone, they said only you’d be able to retrieve anything from it.” 

A warm pride filled your chest. No one could do what you could. You weren’t useless. 

“So… unfortunately for you, Pigeon. I’ve brought you some homework while I babysit you. Are you up for it?” 

Ghost dropped the laptop onto your lap. Your thumb-drive was still plugged into it, filled with malware and viruses you’d cooked up over the years. 

You smiled at him, beaming with pride as you opened the device. “Of course, just keep your eyes on me, sir. I’ll be done in no time.” 

[lesbianloml]

Ur looking for ideas? IM STARVING anyways ur writing is amazing ily boo<3

It’s actually a post of mine but I’ll go more into detail for you

Mommy!wanda finally letting reader top and use a strap on her for once, r being so excited to fuck wanda they start at a bruising pace needing wanda to guide them and show them how to make her feel good, once r gets a hang of it the friction of the strap on them plus Wanda’s moans and praise is too good making it hard for them to stop and pushing them into subspace, which ends up overstimulating both r and wanda, imagine wanda having to calm down r, cupping their face and telling them to breathe and that they’re doing so good for her, “you’ve made mommy feel so good baby, it’s okay calm down pup” and r just whining, hiding into her neck, barely able to from words anymore just mumbling “too good, I don’t wanna stop, hurts” but they keep going until r just physically can’t move anymore and they’re both a mess by the end of it🤭

(Ive lost all my shame٫ help)

In and Out

Type of piece(s): imagine, oneshot, drabble, series

Type(s) of writing: smut, angst, fluff, dark

Pairing(s): emo!soft!dom!wanda x sub!fem!reader (I hope everyone reading this knows the difference between top/bottom and dom/sub)

Warning(s): praise kink, use of strap, overstimulation, tummy bulge

Summary: Mommy finally let's Reader be on top. (Mostly) Reader does pretty good. A little too good.

A/N: I would love to write this request! Thanks for being my first writing ask! Hope you like it! Enjoy!

"Hey, Wanda?" "Not my name, detka." Wanda responded, not looking up from her book. "Mommy?" "Yes, sweetheart?" "Can I be on top today?" You asked, sweet as can be. Wanda sat and didn't respond for a minute. "I guess that would be ok. Let's go." Wanda said, standing up and holding her hand out so you could slip yours in. As Wanda walked into the bedroom, she layed on the bed after taking her clothes off. "You know where the toys are, don't you honey?" "Yes, Mommy." You say.

You stripped as you walked to the drawer and opened it. You decided to get her back for all the times she did this to you. You picked out a very large strap with a little piece that would move in circles on your clit while you thrust. Then, you pulled out a blindfold. Just in case. You walk over to her and she sees the strap. Her eyes widen a bit but she doesn't say anything. She wants you to feel like you're in control, even if its only for one night. You put the harness on and groan as you feel a little pressure on your clit. It was tight enough that it squeezed and put pressure on your clit every time you moved. You didn't want to know how it would feel when your start to thrust.

You straddle her waist, gasping a bit as it rubs at your clit. You sit there for a moment staring at her pretty pussy thinking about how you've never done this before and you don't know how to please her. "Malyshka?" "Yes, Mommy?" "Do you need help?" "Yes please." "So you go like this." She said, pulling you to straddle her lap. You lifted your hips up and started to sink down, moaning as the toy rubbed and squeezed your clit. As you got a little more than halfway, you saw a bulge appear in Wanda's stomach. Wanda was groaning as she saw the bulge. As you kept going down, she began to whimper. You had never seen Wanda like this. Whimpering. She usually looked so composed.

You continued bouncing and as Wanda was moaning and praising you as she came for the second time, you also came. But as you came, moaning loudly, you drifted into subspace. But you just kept thrusting in and out, in and out. You had no thoughts in your head at all, just the pleasure you felt. Wanda and you had both came 6 times before Wanda cupped your face. "Sh sh sh. You've made Mommy feel so good pup! You did so good. Just breathe. Take a breath." But you just buried your head in her shoulder, whining and whimpering as you continued to circle your hips, thrusting in and out. "So good. Don't wanna stop. Hurts! Hurts so good." You whimpered into her ear.

Wanda just didn't have the heart to stop you. You and Wanda both came twice more before you physically couldn't move anymore. You looked down at Wanda. She was panting, moaning, covered in a sheet of sweat and looked like an absolute wreck. Little did you know, you mirrored her looks. As you and Wanda limped over to take a shower together, Wanda stared at you, amazed. Without even meaning to, you had ruined both yourself and her.

Thanks for reading! Keep those requests flowing!