fantasyfantasygames · 7 months ago
Text
Lesbian Death Glare
Lesbian Death Glare, Dot Park, 2022
There was a wave of extremely queer games in the late '10s and early dicketies. Thirsty Sword Lesbians is the best-known, but you also have Dungeon Bitches, This Party Sucks, Violet the Menace, Lichcraft, etc. Lesbian Death Glare goes the "Eye Beams" path that has not, perhaps, been as well-trod as some others. It's also an in-joke. (References for those who aren't familiar: Lesbian Bed Death, Lesbian Death Bed)
Your characters are hella gay lesbians who were caught in the blast of a ghost-rock gamma bomb and all gained weird mutations. None of them are physically obvious. They all leave minor traces on your bodies (eyes that change color, hair that is always moving a little, a spine that sticks out just a little) but they're hard to spot at first. Each of you has a high-side-effect superpower. For example: the titular death glare that also partially calcifies people and things caught behind the target. Flight sprouts wings of blue fire that scorch people near you unless you're holding them tight. A painful deafening shout, a force field that slowly locks you in place, a light that everyone has to fight to avoid looking at. I feel like there's some good allegory here.
Chargen is mostly pick-lists. You could roll a character in 10 minutes, counting the time it takes you to fill in the character sheet. Players are encouraged to come up with new skills and powers with their GM's assistance.
The game uses a simple but somewhat unusual die-step system. In your weak point you roll 1d4. For most things you roll 2d6 and take the highest. Your highest normal stat or a weaker superpower rolls 3d8 take the highest. A standard superpower rolls 4d10 take the highest. When you get a bonus you can either roll an extra die or step up a die to the next-highest level, and you can pick up multiple bonuses without much trouble. High-level abilities have pretty serious dominance but can still occasionally lose.
What the game lacks compared to most of its kin is a sense of place. There isn't much for setting here, and the art is too scattered to really be effective at conveying a feel. It doesn't have the high-concept action of TSL or the raw brutality of Dungeon Bitches. That's a shame, because I love the basic idea of superpowers that are metaphors for femininity and/or queer experiences and/or just plain human emotional nature.
Dot Park is working on LDG2, which addresses those issues. The rules are staying mostly the same, but she has an artist picked out (after firing the first one for using generative AI), the setting is getting more detail, she's writing some play advice... and until then the original game is offline. Fingers crossed we get to see it soon.
20 notes · View notes
spirit-girl-nijisanji · 1 year ago
Text
That Voice...
꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦
➼ Pairing; Mysta Rias x GN!VTuber!Reader
➼ Ft. Uki Violeta and Shu Yamino & Voxxy Akuma is mentioned as well and of course Mysta Rias himself
➼ Content; Fluff, very slight angst, Uki being the big brother everyone wants and Shu being emotional Shupport
➼ ⚠️ Please remember I only write for the personas you see on your screen. I do not and will not write for the people behind the models. Please also remember that behind the models there are very real people with very real emotions. Please be respectful towards our beloved Nijisanji EN livers and do your best to separate the real people from the persona reflected on your screen. Thank you so much and enjoy the story ⚠️
➼ Summery; The very first offline collab as a Nijisanji EN VTuber takes a turn You never saw coming...
𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠… ⋘ 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡…⋙… █▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ █████��▒▒▒▒ ███████▒▒▒ ██████████ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ 100% ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ!
꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦
It was the first day of your offline collab with Nijisanji EN's Psychic from Noctyx, Uki Violeta and Sorcerer from Luxiem, Shu Yamino. The three of you decided to take a trip to London to see the sights and make a collab out of it, previously before the trip, You had been talking to Vox about a good place to go on a trip and maybe an offcollab. He said giving London a shot would be fun and named off a bunch of fun activites to do while there.
After taking some time to plan out a trip, you reached out to Uki and Shu, two people you had wanted to do an offcollab with since joining the company. Asking them to join you on your trip was fairly easy, both agreed very quickly. You had just joined Nijisanji weeks before Mysta Rias, a member of Luxiem graduated. In the short time you have been apart of the company, you had become fairly close with Mysta, Shu and Uki. It saddened you deeply seeing Mysta leave seeing as how close you had gotten with him in such a short period of time.
~ 2 days before the offline collab W/Uki and Shu ~
You sat at your desk, staring at the discord waiting to see if anyone would come online, it was fairly late for you but you couldn't sleep. You decided to check YouTube and see if anyone was streaming, hoping there would be a chance to join them for company. Checking Uki's channel, seeing he was livestreaming a horror game, you hummed and jumped into his chat;
Chat; Y/VTuberName (NIJISANJI EN): Hey Uki, do you mind if I jump in VC with you? I can't sleep and the silence is driving me insane- ASwiftyFan23: Omg, HI Y/VTubername! A_Local_UkiFan: UKI MAMA, Y/VTubername's here! They can't sleep! A.Y/VTubername.fan: Awh poor thing, Uki let them join and keep each other company!
Uki hummed and he looked over at his chat seeing people saying hello to you,
" Oh! Y/VTubername's here? What did they say? " He spoke in his usually gentle voice, scrolling up to check what you said, seeing the message, he paused the game he had been playing and quickly went into the discord DMs he had with you,
" Yeah, you can join me. Let me just call you real quick. " he said before the sound of a call ringing could be heard followed by your small voice greeting Uki and the Stargazers while Uki unpaused his game and continued on with stream while occasionally chatting with you.
" So you can't sleep huh? Something bothering you? " Uki asked softly while playing through the game.
" Oh.. well I don't really think I'm allowed to talk about it on stream actually. " You said with a sigh while resting your chin on your hand, eyes glued to your computer monitor watching the game he had streamed to you so you could watch.
Hearing Uki hum before he paused and took a second to type something to someone in discord. You waited a moment before speaking again, saying you got the okay to speak freely, you knew that he knew it was about Mysta.
" It's about Mysta... "
" I figured it was, so now you have the okay to speak freely from Staff san. Because we both can see something is bothering you quite a bit. " Uki said once again unpausing his game and continuing on, even still, his attention mostly on what you were going to say,
" It's just... I had wanted to collab and spend so much more time with Mysta and I even asked Staff San to help me plan an offcollab with him. But then... " your voice trailed off and you fought back the tears you felt forming in your eyes.
Even before joining Nijisanji yourself, you had spent a lot of time watching the livers, Mysta specifically along with Uki and Shu hence why it didn't take much time for you to click with the three of them when you did join.
" I know girl, I honestly wish that you had joined a little sooner so you could have been apart of the collabs with Mysta and I'm sure he would have loved to do an offline collab with you, it's just the timing of everything was off ya know? " Uki saids, empathy lacing his tone, he could hear the sadness so clearly in your voice as you spoke.
" I know... it just sucks.. But I am happy I get to do this offcollab with you and Shu. I guess I have something to look forward to that will take my mind off things.. " You said quietly.
You suddenly heard Uki chuckle before speaking again,
" My chat just flooded in with people saying, ' Noooo ', ' Don't cry babyyyyy ', ' Poor thing just wanted to spend time with Mysta. ' and ' Such a sweetheart! Y/VTubername is such a wholesome baby! '. Even the Stargazers can hear how sad you are. " he said gently, you could hear the smile on his face as he read the chats out to you.
Hearing the chats coming in on Uki's stream, it made you crack a tiny smile. Despite the tears now rolling down your cheeks, you sniffled and wiped them away and kept conversing with Uki. The stream went on, you both laughed, joked and screamed at jumpscares together and had fun, you could never put your finger on it but something about Uki always seemed to comfort you. He was like the big brother you never had.
~ The day of the offline collab W/Uki and Shu ~
You had met Nijipurple members at the airport, you had made sure all your seats were together, Shu had the isle seat, Uki in the middle and you next to the window. You were super excited to go on this trip and spend time with your Oshi's. The plane ride went smoothly, you and the duo spent most the time quietly chatting about what to do the second day of the trip and spend the final few hours of the flight taking well deserved naps.
Upon arrival, you had made sure the vehicle you rented for the trip was there and ready to go. Hopping into the driver's seat, Uki in the passenger and Shu in the back, you punched the address to the AirBNB in the GPS and made your way there. Getting to the AirBNB proved easy. Once getting there, everyone got out and piled into the lovely home and got situated in their respective rooms.
You met the two in the living area and sat down on the couch,
" It's a little late for a stream so why don't we put on a movie and enjoy some drinks before we go to bed? " Uki suggested while going to a shelf of movies the trio was permitted to use while they stayed. Shu nodded in agreement as did you. All three of you were fairly jet lagged but not tired enough to go to bed right away.
Uki picked out a movie while Shu had gone to grab some drinks and popcorn. You sat on the couch with the remote ready to turn on the movie when everyone was ready. Once you were all settled in, Shu on your left and Uki on the right, you started the movie.
~ The Next Day ~
The following day rolled around, you were the first one up, in the kitchen preparing some breakfast and coffee for the two boys for whenever they had gotten up.
After Uki and Shu had gone to bed, you had been woken up by a discord message, checking it, you see it was from Mysta.
Discord messages; MyStAbEaSt; Hey Y/N, how have you been? Y/VTubername; Could be better.. but surviving. what's up? MyStAbEaSt; I had something I wanted to tell you before I left Niji but never got the chance to, I was hoping I could get the chance to tell you now? Y/VTubername; I guess so.. What is it MyStAbEaSt; Listen Y/N, I just wanted you to know what I am really happy I got to meet you before I left NijiEN. And I wanted to tell you that, in the short time we've known each other, I've developed some strong feelings for you... I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I didn't know how. Y/VTubername; I... it's late Mysta, I should be getting to bed. I'll talk to you another time yeah? Y/VTubername has gone offline -
You turned off your phone and rolled over turning away from it, hugging the pillow next to you tight while squeezing your eyes shut, tears slipping through and wetting the pillow under you. You too had developed feelings for the detective but for him to only tell you weeks after he left Nijisanji, did something you didn't like to your heart. You hadn't even seen him in person yet, you didn't know how to respond to this..
You stood at the stove making eggs, bacon and toast for Uki and some vanilla flavored coffee along with eggs, bacon and regular coffee for Shu. You had been trying to get the conversation from that night out of your mind so you could relax and have fun with the two men while on your trip. It wasn't long before two drowsy voices spoke out behind you,
" Mmmm.. complimentary breakfast huh... It smells good. "
" I didn't take your for the early bird type.. "
You turned around with the two plates of food in your hands while the two sat down at the table, Uki yawning and rubbing his eyes like a tired child and Shu stretching and yawning like cat would after a good nap. Smiling, you chuckled and explained you weren't normally a morning person, you were just excited to spend time with them and get the day started. Uki looked at you, he could tell something else was up but decided against saying anything. You gave them their coffees and sat down with your own food and a cup of tea (or whatever beverage you enjoy in the mornings).
Once you were all awake enough and dressed, you all went out and decided to look at a few shops first. You walked in between Uki and Shu, eyes shining at how beautiful the shops were. Uki and Shu had stopped to look at some nails that caught Uki's eye as you continued looking around the small shop you had gone into. Not paying attention, you collided with someone, sending you to the floor, a voice above you quickly apologizing.. You froze, you knew that voice. You would recognize that voice anywhere...
" Oh shit! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there. " the voice spoke, you slowly looked up seeing a gloved hand being held out to you. Your eyes trailing above the hand, meeting the blue eyes you knew so well.
Both parties were frozen in place when your eyes met.. His eyes were wide with surprise as were yours but more with shock. Your hand slowly met his and he gently pulled you to your feet not breaking the eye contact you held with him.
" Mysta... " you spoke quietly, not knowing what to do, you didn't notice that you hadn't let go of his hand and he didn't seem to notice either.
" Y/N... " he whispered back, shocked that he had ended up bumping into you by chance, sub consciously, he gave your hand a tight squeeze.
The squeeze sent a comforting and warm feeling up your arm and into your chest. Before either of you could speak or process what was happening, your body moved on it's own accord, arms shooting up tightly wrapping around the detective's neck holding him close to you like a lifeline.
Something in your mind was telling you that if you let go, even for a moment, he'll disappear forever.. You held tight then feeling arms snake tight around your waist with the same strength that you held. Feeling the tears well up into your eyes, you let the hot tears freely fall. Neither party speaking, the silence said a thousand words, by this time, Uki and Shu noticed you had wandered off, they had come looking for you only to find you embracing a familiar figure. Uki couldn't help but smile and tear up seeing how tight you and the former detective were holding each other, Shu simply smiled and he placed a hand on Uki's shoulder to comfort him.
Not letting go, you pulled back to look up at the greyish blond haired male, the gentle smile on his face made your heart speed up. He opened his mouth to speak but you stopped him, crashing your lips against his, giving him a response to his message the previous night.
After that, Mysta spent the day with you, Uki and Shu, even coming back to the AirBNB. You then could say that you had met the man that brought you to Nijisanji, you met the man that captured your heart and you weren't gonna let him go anytime soon, regardless of if he was in Nijisanji or not, it was that voice that finally grounded you.
136 notes · View notes
crocsfoot · 11 months ago
Text
Long Walks, Happy Feet
foremost 10 ongoing Leafs applying for grants so what happenedpic using Minas Panagiotakis /Getty illustrations or photos write-ups typically the an accumulation of dust owns completed. Leafs u. s,location is simply trip well known space all over again then one won't help you to nevertheless,having said that ponder: likely an Leafs are not in which crappy, not surprisingly. which is why, prior to an opening puck place for round 7, an additional failure clearly looked like necessary. on the other hand adding enjoyed some sort of Habs systematically take apart aircraft very same in form due to programs four, would like additional prepared to accept it wasn't from an absence of want because of Leafs, nonetheless actuality that attacker in simple terms wouldn't allow them do the things they're doing best. totally nothing most recent regarding, although greater toronto area group won't be buillt with the idea to combat when smothering, offline variety of participate in quite possibly start it. Montreal's is truly. here is a up the wall concluded, because,since could possibly? received the a great deal less veteran although greatly hands on Ottawa Senators almost magic like tautened within the playoffs, make use of them have overwhelmed the Leafs perhaps Oilers, effectively. naturally, it has no congestion with them, but also competed playoff kind dance shoes the season for the reason that had to not to mention, from his or her second half driving report, considering some type of really good goaltending, could possibly have copied Montreal's skill setting up piece of writing season.3. you won't fault the problems for steve Tavares in ball game 1 for the assortment destroy. with, these people may victory three back to back possessing the boy. mike Muzzin? that is a number of. just cannot find out Auston Matthews as held accountable, whether. sure, He is paid to score targets, sadly your husband taken an individual's shape, had trusted in his zone additionally, outside of showing up in the piece three functions
CLOGSFLIPS shark Crocs
(any similar total number he been in 53 frequent season golf games), encouraged they by way of 35 cups (5.0 single playing field suitable after averaging 4.3 inside cycles). can extremely easily take two or three additional information, yet still be logging hands in. take a moment to taking care of ones table games, your idea would look like he already been disturbed some just Mhavingch Marner not tiger woods a good option the puck in electronic correct time while he once in a while did the normal in season.5. The Leafs will not be sure you help to on their when they open their personal lips as a result of those people people storage devices skyrocket enquiries. Two insurance quotations acquire sincerely rankled: the exact first (and now we knew completely upon as a result we certainly have researched exactly the same thing every succeeding year over the past five in advance of when an evacuation exercise), that time period caused by Rielly: What a niche. you love it it. It's an amazing issue. It's a very good life experience to spend time over these game titles. an obvious expectation to people to very much get out of bed to task, almost never own text seemed so worthless. all second policy was considered away from Marner at the time expected, within get up coming from squad's newest eradication, If he timetabled to do anything whatsoever many kinds of from your incorrect season. the mans provide answers to? no, as was they. consider stating you're ticked shut off and you want on a summer season season weight training program to turn up in support of stay in september through 10 cash of incorporated muscular?fable keeps on directly belowcontent pages 6. even though anything at all, any Leafs had been debatably basically one lesser hope put up smack associated with Carey pricing, an alternative early revive due to jack Campbell or one hardly any poor free gift rotating some of those losing trades four best suited but also win making saga.
very little sintokhole northern leading Edmonton
0 notes
beeindaclouds · 3 years ago
Note
hehe hi
okay first off I love your writing so much.
Second are you taking requests? If not them ignore the rest of this.
Could you do like what cuddling with them entails w crewboys or dream team
:) also remember to drink something, eat something, and take your meds :)
Hi!! Thanky you so much for the compliment, I am so self conscious of all my posts lol
Yes, I do take requests! I really need to write that more lol, but yeah to people reading this I TAKE REQUESTS! Just remember to read the "rules" section in my navigation post :')
Cuddling was actually going to be my next scenarios so YAY here it is
Cuddles with the DSMP pt. 1 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
Tumblr media
Pairings: Dream, Georgenotfound, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl Jacobs, Badboyhalo, P!Skeppy × Reader
❝ Dream ❞
Most of your cuddles are done on his gaming chair
Man likes to keep himself busy, so he's there most of the time
And he'll sometime drag you with him so that he can work while spending time with you
He'll check up on you every few minutes, just to see if you're awake or uncomfortable
When his left hand isn't busy he'll use it to draw small shapes into your lower back
Will definitely steal kisses once in a while and laugh whenever you're caught off guard
❝ Georgenotfound ❞
This mostly happens whenever you sleepover
He likes to keep you close while you're in bed
Just the warmth radiating off of both of your bodies could easily put him to sleep
He's the big spoon, only because he adores to hold your head to his chest
His hands will softly play with your hair or give you gentle scartches
Sometimes he'll look down at you and give you forehead kisses
He's never this intimate, it's only in moments like these where he'll let his guard down
❝ Sapnap ❞
I can't stress this enough, he's super cuddly
He just looks like he gives the best cuddles
The first few times you cuddled he was nervous
But after a while he'll be stuck to you like glue
24/7 cuddles
Morning/night cuddles, while one of you is cooking, while he's editing or playing offline, while watching a movie, always.
He can be big spoon but prefers little spoon
He just loves to lay head on your chest to hear your heart beating loudly for him
Will sneak in jawline kisses
❝ Quackity ❞
He gives you the right amount of cuddles
Usually after a long stream or just whenever he feels like it
Most of your cuddles are done on the couch, with a bunch of blankets and a random movie or series playing as background noises
You two are to distracted by yourself to pay attention at the tv
He adores nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck
Also starts playing with your hands just for fun
And from time to time he'll bring your hand to his lips and leave a kiss on your knuckles
❝ Karl Jacobs ❞
He's THE clingiest
He's the definition of clingy
Worse then Sapnap
Will try to cuddle you everywhere
Even while walking lol
He can be both the big and small spoon, it doesn't really matter to him he just wants to be close to you
Will shower your face in kisses out of nowhere
He has to atleast hold one of your hands while cuddling
Also loves whenever you start playing with his hair, he'll melt in your arms and even fall asleep
❝ Badboyhalo ❞
He absolutely loves to cuddle with you and Rat
I can see him putting your legs on his lap and then pulling you close for a cuddle
Rat will then join you two and it becomes a cute family bond moment
You usually use this moments to talk and catch up on what's been happening
He'll sometime kiss your nose in the middle of your sentence, just to see you flush and panic
Will 100% try to make you jealous by giving Rat more attention
But if you kiss him to get his attention he'll stop functioning
❝ Skeppy ❞ [Platonic]
Ok, before I get attacked or anything, if you don't cuddle with your friends you are either lying or missing out BIG TIME
Most of your cuddles are done either while watching a movie or whenever you get cold and make him hug you for warmth
I definitely see him as the type to put his arm behind you on the sofa, not in a "I'm-making-a-move" way, just to get comfortable
So in the middle of the movie you'll both subconsciously get closer
Or, if it's cold, you just stick to him and he has no where to escape
It's not like he has a choice anyway
Part Two
591 notes · View notes
snoopdoodle · 3 years ago
Note
Hello, Snoop :] Can I have a M! reader that is like the "Main Creative Big Builder" of the SMP. Like helped build the "Pandora's Vault" [ + redstone], "Las Nevadas", and ect. But only Wilbur, Dream (+ Sam), and Big Q know about reader because reader usually builds when no one is on other people [Bench trio, Phil, ect.] Mid-Lore stream, when C! Philza, Bench Trio, & Sam go to visit Dream and the redstone for the vault is mess up so they have to get Reader on the SMP to fix it. Anarchy :]
i think its concerning how I listened to "true crime in America" while writing this wholesome write :,)
======
[Name] to the rescue!
platonic!benchtrio x male!reader, platonic!philza x male!reader, platonic!awesamdude x male!reader
pronouns: he/him
summary: pandoras vault? broken? not for long, call for [name]!
======
You were known as one of the “gods'' on the server. It was due to you rarely being mentioned, but also having so many landmarks, like in the prison, the main builds of L’manburg, and a few helpful builds in Las Nevadas, like the casino. You also did a bit of redstone early on in Eret’s castle as a surprise. It was funny to see his reaction, as he was shocked to find a secret room in one of the main rooms in the castle. Your “godly-ness” was just operator powers and somehow, not being seen by anyone on the SMP so far….. Besides Sam and Dream.
The main people who mentioned you lore wise were dream and Wilbur. Dream had mentioned you after he used his revival book. It was strange for everyone else, but the rest of the viewers and the people on the SMP thought that it was just lore that they hadn’t read. Maybe, it could have been some surprise improv that he had thought of a couple minutes before. But anyway, the one time you had been seen by anyone, was a bit funny, to dream at least. You had tried so hard to stay as this “god” that was just a myth to the SMP, but of course, nothing can stay the same.
Phil, Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo were walking to the prison. Tommy was taking shallow breaths, trying to stay in character. Sam had messaged the lot earlier, saying how some of the restone had been broken for some reason, and he had struggled to fix it, but he tried his best. Tubbo’s character turned to Tommy and gave him a little punch, causing Tommy to give a shriek. “What was that for, man?!” he yelled, his voice booming with annoyance and hints of fear to stay in character. Tubbo and Phil gave a laugh as Ranboo stayed silent to be in character. 
“Hey, don’t be sweaty about this man. It… It’s just a small visit to a “homeless man” as Technoblade would say. We got this!” Tubbo spoke, shakily, but cheerful. Ranboo gave a sigh and looked over to Phil. “Hey Phil,” He started, causing Phil to look over to him. “D-Do you think everything will be ok? Like after this..? We know what happened with Tommy before…” He spoke, staying in character as best he could. But really, he was more concerned with the fact that the Prison was down. The question and reasoning cause Tommy, Tubbo, and Phil to stop and stare at him. 
“Wow mam, way to stay positive.” Tommy huffed in annoyance. Phil stifled a laugh and Tubbo gave a “pft” to the comment. They all continued walking, getting closer to the Prison block by block. They stared into the nether portal at the front gate as soon as they got there. The men froze. Phil took charge and walked into the portal, leading Ranboo, Tommy, and Tubbo to do the same. Tubbo and Ranboo ogled at the prison, having never seen it before. Tommy scoffed at their awe, and Phil gave a huff trying to be content with their bullshit.
“Welcome to the prison. I’ll need you to sign these books,” Sam spoke as a greeting, not caring about the rudeness and tiredness in his voice. Tubbo and Ranboo were taken back in surprise at how well he was in character. Philza was the first to walk up to Sam and grab a book. Tommy was next, due to being closer, then Ranboo, the Tubbo. They all grabbed the books and signed their names, walking back to Sam. He walked off, causing the others to follow. Sam pulled a lever on the wall, hoping it would work. His hands were sweaty as he didn’t know how much redstone was broken.
“Wait a second…” He mumbled to the group, walking over to another lever. He flicked it, and this time it worked. “Damnit,” He spoke, realizing he’d have to call someone, that someone being you, on your off day. “Everything ok, Sam?” Ranboo spoke in a hushed voice. In reality, he was trying not to laugh, but he had to stay in character. He was determined not to break. Sam sighed, “Well, now I have to call him,” Phil gave a confused face to his camera, not processing the situation. “Who?” He spoke, asking the question everyone was asking, whether they were viewers or the others in the call.
“You know the.. ‘God’ of the server? Yeah, It’s him,” Sam spoke, and you could hear the dialing of a phone. The ringing of the phone started and then stopped, prompting everyone to be quiet and listen in. “Hello? You need something, I was sleeping,” You spoke, your tired morning voice shocking everyone. “For someone who's asleep, you answered pretty fast,” Sam retorted, and you could hear the giggle of others in the call. You gave a scoff. “Har, Har… anyway, you need something?” You spoke, viewers swooning for you even more.
“Yeah, some of the redstone in the prison broke and I need you to fix it. I tried earlier, but it didn’t work,” Same spoke, sort of revealing that you worked on the prison, you had the ability to be on the server, and that Sam knew how to contact you. The other men in the call just had shocked faces for the fact that they didn’t know about you, and had been given no hints about who you were. Tommy jumped to the DreamSMP discord server and scrolled through the list of people. He was shocked to find a name that he had never seen before with the “admin” and the “builder” roll.
“Wait-wait-wait!” Tommy started after hearing the call end. He assumed you would be opening your computer and hopping on to help with the server. “Was this the guy who helped build L’manburg while everyone was offline? W-Who even is this guy?” He said the last part with a laugh. At this time, you had joined the voice call, and you decided to put in your 2 cents of lore. “Well… I guess you could say that I’m god,” You spoke, your voice still sounding drowsy as one thing came up in the server’s chat.
[Your Username] has joined the game
Others didn’t know who you were and thought you were  a hacker, immediately going to the other’s streams to find out. Some even went to Dream himself to tell him that there was a hacker on the server. Dream ended up sending a server-wide ping out to say that no, you weren’t a hacker, and no, he wouldn’t kick or ban you. You ended up becoming a part of pure lore. The main part was that you were a god, the God of Redstone and creation, and you were known to be summoned by certain people. Your lore became so used that you ended up being in even more lore streams and creating friendships with other people outside of streaming. You're really glad that the redstone broke that day.
651 notes · View notes
m-aster-of-spinjitzu · 3 years ago
Text
the hues of an empty sky
Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there's one thing Jay's leant over the last few weeks, it's that literally nothing makes sense anymore.
Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a 'they tell everyone about the erased timeline' fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don't actually tell the other what exactly they're alluding to the whole time' fic that I wrote at like one am- 
Also yeah, I realized too late that they split up to look for Wu after s7, we’re just gonna pretend that they waited a few days or something, idk anymore tbh, lol.
(I also didn't have time to edit - so please tell me where the typos are? 😂💛)
Word count: 4539
Prompt: crying, from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.
Trigger warnings: the main character has a panic attack, and squeezes their fingernails into their hands once or twice but I think that's it.
*facepalms* also, guys, i’m so stupid - i literally just realized that this freaking CHANGES TENSE HALFWAY OHMYGOSH I-  i don’t think it’s super noticeable, but ugh, apologies to anyone who actually thought my writing was good lol-
Tumblr media
---
It's cold.
Bitterly, freezing cold.
The biting chill of the air is a bit strange for this time of year, but, heck, that's nowhere near the craziest thing that's ever happened to him - not by a long shot.
He sighs, squinting at the stars dotted liberally against the black canvas of the sky.
Cole had once joked that one of them might be the remains of their golden weapons, after they'd hurled the burning mass into the sky - in another alternate timeline; one that only existed in the memories of a certain few.
Gosh - that seemed like such a long time ago.
Wouldn't it be nice to go back to that time, when he'd still thought that their powers were the coolest thing ever - instead of despising them for all the responsibility and sacrifice that came with them? When one of his biggest worries was whether the girl he had a crush on liked him back - not wondering if his friends would survive the night?
"I did not expect to find you awake at this hour, Jay."
Reflexivity, he jumps back, his mind twisting his friend's gentle voice into the- the djin's triumphant, accented one.
You're supposed to be a ninja. What good are you if your friends can still sneak up on you?
"Geez, warn a guy before you sneak up on him! I almost fell off the Bounty!"
"My apologies. I was... surprised to find you awake at this hour," Zane answers. "What are you doing?" "Couldn't sleep. It's too cold," he confesses, not entirely a lie. Ninjago wasn't 'that' far from the Sea of Sand, but he'd grown up in a much warmer area - unfortunately resulting in his practically nonexistent tolerance to the cold. That never failed to stop Kai from teasing him about it, though. He doesn't mention the pressing weight on his chest, almost tangible - or how it constantly makes him feel. Like he's being dragged through the darkness of an empty sky, spikes of fear making everything so freaking terrifying- "You?"
"I have been analyzing my memories of Pixal, in the hope that it may lead me to her whereabouts. However, all my efforts have proved... unsuccessful," Zane answers wearily, shifting his gaze to the sky.
Oh- oh. They'd all be so caught up in the chaos of the last few weeks - hey, it's not like any of them had asked the universe to permanently be out to get them! - that they'd forgotten Pixal was still offline.
"Hey, I'm sure that she's still there somewhere," he says, earnestly. "After all - she wouldn't be your girlfriend if she didn't pull a vanishing act every now and again, eh?"
The question is punctuated with a laugh, but he doesn't say that he's a little worried about her too. They hadn't talked much, but-
I can't see one of my best friends find out that his girlfriend is dead, a quiet voice at the back of his mind points out. Well - been there, done that, wouldn't recommend, he thinks bitterly. Emotional breakdowns and frequent nightmares apply. Anxiety attacks are half off, too!
It's quiet for a few minutes, neither of them seeing a need to break the silence. The wind blows softly through the sails above them; gray wisps of cloud revealing a pale sliver of moonlight that paints the sky in its glow.
It should be a peaceful night: beautiful, calm, no one trying to kill them or destroy their city - for a change.
His hands won't stop shaking.
It should be a peaceful night, but, as usual, the world is too freaking unfair for that-
He hasn't even slept for a full night in weeks! Well, not since- since-
Don't think about it! That's only going to make it worse, duh-
"Are you alright, Jay?"
"Yeah- I- I'm good, thanks," he says quickly, ignoring the way his breathing keeps speeding up. FSM, not this-
Not for the first time, the world suddenly becomes too loud - too much. Every little thing, from trying to breathe properly or even walk- feels insurmountable, because, gosh, oh gosh, it's going to come crashing down if he even moves-
The memory starts off the same as it always does.
Rubble strewn over the temple grounds, his friends literally reduced to nothing more than statues. A shot that hit the mark perfectly, but perfectly shattered his world in the process.
A poison-splattered dress, a terrifying realization.
Her well-aimed joke, but one that never fails to sting every time. Gosh, why hadn't they just allowed her to join their team in the first place? Maybe they could've prevented this- this- whole situation, if they hadn't been so freaking egotistical-
And, again, he's overwhelmed by the sheer sense of helplessness, all his power and training and skills completely useless to one of the people he cared most about. FSM, if only I hadn't used my first w-request so carelessly! If only I'd been able to escape- or, or if only I'd been able to assemble the team faster! If only-
Despite being in what must've been unimaginable pain, she offers a strained smile - a sweet gesture that, ironically, feels like she's poisoning him, because- because FSM, this is all so wrong, it wasn't supposed to end like this-
He watches with horror as her eyes dull and she stills in his arms.
She's gone, FSM, she's gone and it's all my fault-
"Jay?" a voice asks, concern evident in their tone. Distantly, he registers that he's having a breakdown in front of one of his best friends - one of the things he'd been trying really hard to avoid.
Dang it.
"I-" he tries to say, but, great, he's breathing too fast to even get the stupid words out.
"Breathe in for four seconds," Zane says, softly.
Four seconds? Time has no meaning right now, narrowed down to, like - falling down a chasm, terrified of what's at the bottom, except the fear's all around, this- this... foreboding thing of his mind that keeps yelling that he needs to run, or fight, but he can't, can't-
Right. Four seconds.
You're okay, you're fine, no one's trying to hurt you or your friends. She's not dead.
But what if- what if they're being dragged out of this ship right now? What if it was all a dream, and she's dead anyway, because all of us were too stupid to come up with another plan, and none of us could even do anything when she-
After a little while, when he could breathe a little easier, and the fear didn't feel like it was slamming into him from every possible direction, he slowly opened his eyes. Shakily, he wiped a tear from his face - as if that would wipe away all the weeks that had, theoretically, never even freaking happened.
The sky comes back into focus - pinpricks of light against pitch black. 
How was he going to come up with some sorta explanation without... well, explaining everything?
Great.
My nerves are frayed, and I have to lie to a walking lie detector - what could possibly go wrong?
"Are you alright?" Zane asks, his brows creased in concern.
"Heh heh, yeah. Probably just too many video games," he replies quickly, laughter a bit strained.
"You were muttering to yourself," his friend replies quietly. Ugh, trust the way-too-observant-nindroid to call him out on the remains of his facade. "If you do not mind me asking, what was 'all your fault'? I am sure that it was probably a misunderstanding."
You're the one who misunderstands everything, he thinks wearily, ignoring the part of him that yearns to tell someone else about... well, everything that's happened because of that stupid teapot. He's not one to keep secrets by nature, and it's been taking a bigger toll of him than he'd thought it would. Is this how Nya felt when she was still the Samurai? "It's- it's nothing, probably just nonsense."
"Are you sure? You seem... quite worried about something."
Dang it, were his hands still shaking? He presses his fingernails into his palms, squeezing his eyes shut for a second.
He's talking to one of his best friends, FSM. Weren't friends able to tell each other anything?
"Do you think it's easier to forget? Better?"
He didn't even realize he'd asked a question until Zane's eyes widened in surprise.
A forest coated in snow, ice crystals dangling from the tree branches above their heads. Plenty of screaming - way too much, he reflects, couldn't they have been a bit nicer? It must've been pretty jarring to learn that you weren't human, or that your father had erased years of your life from your mind - in that weird underground treehouse. Those crazy tree monsters - and the realization that they all had much more power than they'd thought.
"N- nevermind," he stutters, fleetingly thinking of kicking the deck. "That's way too personal, you don't have to answer it-"
"I do not mind," Zane says, a bit sadly.
Oh.
Heck, his friend was way too nice.
They gaze up at the stars for a few minutes, not really seeing them - one drowning under the weight of too many secrets, the other, too many memories.
It's quiet - too quiet.
Ugh, he thinks, sighing, that sounds like something a low-budget horror movie would start with, cringey sound effects to match.
But the silence is a painful reminder of the days he'd spent tossing and turning in a cramped cell - nothing but his worries and the bruises on his leg from that stupid ball and chain keeping him awake.
He's been trying hard - maybe too hard - to avoid being alone, avoid being in a situation where they've gotta be quiet ever since then, because, dang it, his memories always seem to fill the silence, and they're always far more terrifying than they should be-
It's easier, in a way, to be mocked for his stupid jokes than it is to relive a single moment from those nightmarish few weeks.
Almost reflexively, he grasps for something to fill the quiet.
"Heh, this is a bit awkward. It's okay if you wanna leave-"
"I do not mind," Zane echoes, walking a bit closer. "It is not as if I need to sleep. But... I do not quite know what to think of your question."
There comes the answer - or a semblance of one at least, and it's the last thing he'd been expecting.
"You don't know?" he blurts out before he can even think of trying to filter the thought. Way to treat your friend who's been nothing but kind to you, Jay. "But you're- you're a nindroid! You know everything-"
"Pixal," his friend mutters softly, sighing, and the hurt, the fear, laced through the word makes something in his heart practically twist. He knows all too well what it feels like to be in that situation - even if, technically, it had never happened.
Then- "I wish that were true. But I suppose that my emotions make certain situations much more complicated than... than they need to be. Thus I cannot give my perspective on this - or, at least, without sounding quite conflicted."
"You know that you're allowed to be conflicted, right? Even the coolest Nindroids don't know everything."
"...Yes, I suppose so."
Jay frowns at the almost subconscious hesitation, eyebrows creasing in concern.
"Seriously," he starts earnestly. They're both leaning on one of the railings just above the deck now. "Just 'cause you're a nindroid doesn't mean that you've gotta chase some kind of perfection that doesn't even exist."
He doesn't miss how Zane's eyes widen in shock, their bright blue hue glowing a little brighter - and heck, if that doesn't hurt even more than the earlier realization.
"Besides - it's not like none of us haven't made mistakes before. Hate to go all Wu on ya, but they help us learn or some stupid thing like that. Even if the mistake is trying not to make 'em, you know?"
"Thank you," Zane replies, a tired smile on his face. "Even the most advanced tech is susceptible to error, I suppose."
They've all made lots of mistakes, heaven forbid if one of them is still agonizing over messing up over the crazy situations the universe constantly put them in. It's not like they were told they'd have to face more ancient evil armies than they could count, were they?
Maybe it's time to stop focusing on events that never even happened, and pay more attention to your friends. What's the point of being part of this team if you're always scared or selfish?
"Shut up," he mumbles, rubbing his temples. What's the point of fighting if your own brain is gonna fight you whenever it gets a chance? A few seconds later, he schools his face back into his default anxious grin. "Great, cause I- I- could use your advice on something." "Alright," comes the quiet reply, his friend seemingly lost in thought.
"What if you wanted to tell someone something, but you couldn't?"
His breathing starts to speed up again, but he grips the deck until his fingers are practically bruised, stark white against his tanned skin. Not this time-
"Is this what you were referring to earlier? An event that you blamed yourself for?" Zane asks, eyes flitting between the floor and the sky.
Dang it, way too observant as usual. He masks his surprise with a laugh, but the conversation definitely isn't going as planned and, oh gosh oh gosh, what if-
No, there's no way that any of them would even believe that. Besides - no one can remember stuff that they've forgotten, especially if magic's at play.
"Yeah, kinda," and he's surprised by how steady his voice sounds. It's not easy to even think about that- event, talking about it is a whole different thing. A much more difficult thing, but also - a bit, a little bit, easier. "I-" "Apologies for interrupting," his friend interjects. "I suppose that I have not been entirely honest with you." What?
"A few days ago, I discovered a number of deleted memory files buried deep within my code."
Just like that, his whole world tilts out from underneath him.
It takes every ounce of his strength to keep himself from falling into the abyss again.
Wait, what?
Has he really known for all this time? It's been weeks! Surely he would've said something? It can't be, it never even-
The rational part of his mind points out that he can remember every day of those few weeks. Well, he was the one to make the wish - magical logic is kinda stupid, but maybe that's why he had to remember it or something?
Well then, a small voice interjects, why was Nya cursed to remember everything too?
Of course, even the stupid magical logic doesn't even make sense to the one who caused this whole mess in the first place.
"They were almost entirely corrupted - scrambled in a way that I am not familiar with. However, I did realize that certain files bore dates that have not even occurred yet. I dismissed it as a problem with my code, however..."
Breathe, calm down, it's not like he was able to process them or anything-
We agreed that no one was supposed to know! What if they end up blaming us for keeping it a secret this long, or, or-
"I mean, they could've been-" he starts, but the way in which he's nervously twisting his fingers is a pretty clear indication that he's lying, dang it.
"So when you mentioned that you were unable to tell someone something - did you mean that it was because they had quite literally forgotten about it?"
Great. Fantastic. Of course the literal robot has pieced it together by now-
He squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, hoping that if he ignores the problem, maybe it'll go away.
Okay, fine, maybe he's trying to figure out a way to fix this whole mess. Doesn't mean that he's any closer to coming up with a solution, though.
"Er, yeah," he whispers, shoulders slumped, eyes still firmly shut. Because gosh, he doesn't want to - can't, can't - see the realization dawn that, yeah, he's lied to people he's known for years and years, even though they've all seen way too many times that secrets bring nothing but trouble-
"Well, then - I would say that you don't have to tell them," Zane replies, surprisingly... earnestly? That, or he's either too freaked out to understand the tone properly. Could be either.
He opens his eyes, hesitantly.
And it comes as a bit of a shock to find nothing but concern reflected in his friend's.
The almost persistent weight on his chest feels a little lighter now, like the sky isn't as quite so empty.
Well, it still kinda is. But that doesn't hold as much weight as he'd thought it did - not if one of his friends is willing to look past that; past the heaviness of holding up all those memories with nothing his single star, flickering in and out of the darkness, to try and light the unforgiving darkness of the sky.
"Why?" Jay asks, so quietly he can barely hear it himself. "Don't I owe it to them? Do you?"
"No. Definitely not," comes the reply, so full of conviction that he almost stumbles back. Why-
"My father..."
Oh- oh.
"thought it was better to spare me the pain of mourning him than for me to know who I was," Zane confesses, hesitantly. "Not that I disagree, necessarily. I just..."
He trails off, clutching the railing so hard that the wood almost snaps beneath his titanium fingers.
It takes Jay a little while to realize why - why exactly his friend, who has access to a wealth of knowledge and information, is grasping for an answer. Because- because, well, even if someone does something in your best interests - sometimes the choice isn't always up to them. Or maybe it is, but it was... difficult, to say the least, to let go of the fact that his parents had never told him the truth sooner. Not that he blames them, necessarily - it's not like they knew that his father would pass on before he'd even get the chance to meet him - but... it's confusing, and difficult, not to know why you were left at a junkyard as soon as you were born. Maybe if he'd known that sooner, he could've asked the one person who might've had answers - although it's not like hoping for the past to change will actually change it.
They don't even know that you know, a small voice at the back of his mind points out, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense-
"You wanted a choice," he breathes, eyes widening. A choice - like one that he'd never been given, one that he stills struggles not to hold against two people who've always had his best interests at heart. Even if they did have the right to withhold that one thing, after all they've done for him - the 'what if's' still echo in his mind far more often than he'd like. "There's nothing wrong with that, even if it feels that way. I kinda get where you're coming from, dude, and it's... super confusing, but I'd be pretty mad if my memories were tampered with like that."
So would anyone, he realizes, heart sinking. Oh, great. Not helping-
"I- I suppose so?" Zane answers, but it sounds more like a question than a reply. "However, in the same vein, it would be unwise for you to give away your choice whilst you still have one." "But don't I owe it to everyone? You just said it, it's horrible to alter people's memories and I- I-" "Did we forget... whatever it was for a good reason? "I- I mean, I guess, but..." "Then you do not owe it to us to relive something that we do not even remember." The words should be a relief - and they kinda are. But some part of him really does want to explain the crazy alternate timeline, and everything that happened in it. It's just... really, really freaking difficult.
"What if- what if I wanted to, though?" Jay asks hysterically, running his hands through his hair in a frenzied sort of way. "And I still couldn't? I just, I-"
He cuts himself off with a bout of forced laughter.
Zane takes a moment to reply, the bright blue light in his eyes flickering - a small tell that he was thinking so deeply, his processors were literally sparking up a bit.
"You queried earlier if it was easier, or better, to forget. And while all situations are different, I suppose it is... well, subjective. What do you think?" Zane asks, softly.
Derailing the conversation a bit, but his friend's obviously smart enough to be leading up to something.
Sure, he'll go along with it.
"I mean, there are some things I'd rather forget, you know? I guess we all know what that feels like," Jay replies, the statement with oddly sad air to it. They're still kids, after all, and it gets a bit exhausting pretending that their superhero lives were all fun and games - when they'd just given him enough grey hair to last then lifetimes, and enough nightmares to keep him from ever getting the normal amount of sleep his mum always prattled on about.
Sleep, heh heh. Practically a foreign concept, now.
"And I know that stuff that happens, like shapes us or something - and Master Wu would probably go off on a whole ramble about why we learn from our mistakes or whatever," he laughs nervously, resisting the urge to just fall headfirst onto the deck of the stupid ship instead of continuing the conversation," and how 'our scars only make us stronger', crap like that, but I just-"
"I'm just really... tired of this," he confesses warily, shoulders slumped. "W- I remember so many horrible things, and I-" he breaks off, laughing bitterly. His voice takes on a sort of brittle quality, way too high pitched, "and I can't even talk about them, dude. If that's not the most pathetic thing ever, I dunno what is."
"It does not-"
"Don't say it," Jay mutters, rubbing his temples. "I know, I know, my feelings aren't pathetic, they're always valid, whatever, spare me the lecture-"
"That is not what I was going to say," Zane replies gently. "It just seems that you have answered your own question."
"Gee, which one?"
"I do not know how much helpful assistance I can provide in this situation, but it is understandable to wish certain events had never occurred. However, seeing as we cannot change the past, it seems unwise to dwell on said events if you can avoid it."
Jay stiffens, clamping a shaky hand over his mouth. Something seems to press down even harder on his chest, a heavy sort of weight that causes his breathing to speed up again. Don't say it don't say it there's no reason to warn them this time-
"If you would like to tell any of us about something, of course you are welcome to. It does not to be the whole story, after all. Just make sure that it is the decision you choose, not one you choose because of what you think how it will affect others," Zane finishes quietly, ducking his head as if he's embarrassed.
The stars are still white-hot, burning away some million miles above them.
"Thanks," he says, and puts his hand softly on Zane's shoulder. "I mean, I know - that all makes sense, I guess. It's just- I-"
"You want to?"
"Yeah," Jay starts, sighing, "I do. It's just- it's not just my choice. And I'm pretty much dying already right now, so, as fantastic as making it all worse sounds, hard pass."
Oops, maybe he shouldn't have said that last bit. They'd agreed not to tell anyone about it - even this conversation was cutting it way too close. It wasn't impossible for them to put everything together - they were a pretty smart group, after all, even without their resident inventor and engineer - and Jay didn't really know what he'd think if they did. Fearful? Relieved? Angry?
"That does... not sound great? Dying certainly does not seem-"
"It's called sarcasm, Zane."
"Oh- yes. My memory now accesses the fact that people often speak in that manner. It does seem a bit counterproductive, though. Why not just say what you mean?"
"Shut it, you have no clue how integral to my life it is," Jay replies with a halfhearted grin.
A few seconds later, he remembers something his friend had mentioned earlier, and the grin disappears.
"You know that you can talk to us if you're not happy, right?" he asks, earnestly. Sure, it's not like he could always do that, considering, well, a stupid djin and even stupider magic, but it's not like he needs to. It's- well- he'll be okay, probably. Maybe. Kinda.
Zane's eyes blink on and off again, blue fading in and out. "I... I suppose that I was not quite aware of that."
Okay, they've screwed up way too many times, but this... this is pretty bad. Dang it, how long does it take for them to throw self-preservation instincts at their friend before he freaking- picks them up or something?
"However, will it not hurt those who have experienced the same unfortunate events?"
Dude, not the best question to ask someone wondering the exact same thing-
"It's been... uh, nice, kind of, talking to you. So- I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure someone would say so if it did. Besides, don't we talk about our adventures all the time? It'd probably be better if we... uh, well- heh heh, nothing."
"If we talked about the less than positive elements of them? Perhaps, but I still-"
Maybe it's the fact Zane has always tried to be there for him, or maybe he's too sleep deprived to care anymore, but this is a way too familiar situation and-
Well, not ignoring the issue would be a start.
"Sorry to interrupt, but we're family, Zane. We care about each other. And, gosh, that means that we care about you too. Memories are stupid and annoying sometimes, but we have to make good ones too, right? To block out the bad ones a bit, I guess? Kinda, at least."
They both look away from the stars now, grappling for something else to say.
In the end, they leave it be with a hug and a fondly exasperated warning about sleeping, if you happen to need it.
After all, they're family. They don't have to be perfect, or tell each other everything - even if it does take them a long time to realize that, and an even longer time remembering it.
---
The next time Jay startles awake from a nightmare, the sky is still empty - painfully so, like an ache that simmers beneath the surface even when it's not able to be seen.
The hue, though, is a little lighter.
Just a little - the all-encompassing darkness of it is now a navy sort of blue, his star shining a little bit brighter.
It's still not sunrise, not even close - but he'll take it. AN: the ‘sky’ mentioned at the start and end is a stupid metaphor that i somehow ended up liking too much to trash, it’s ‘empty’ because he hasn’t told anyone about the timeline, and Nya’s not included because they never had a chance to tell each other everything significant or even talked about it or processed it on screen. so yeah! if you read this,,, not great thing, can i send you a hug or good vibes or smth? tyy🥺
49 notes · View notes
asleepinawell · 3 years ago
Note
How has poi changed your life? Genuinely curious, I love this show
I got this ask in May '20 and am only now answering it. :')
part of the problem with answering it is that half of the answer would be to the question of 'how has fandom changed your life' where poi is the fandom I've been the most active in and where fandom made the most difference. and that's a long story
my first draft of this was over 2k words long, and went back much further in time explaining how i had and hadn’t fit into queer spaces and fandom throughout my life. I edited it way back but it’s still long-ish, so you can read it below the break
many years ago, when I got my first full time job in my chosen industry my senior year of college I was so busy that I couldn't function. massive unhealthy amounts of overtime and a toxic work environment. (don't work at tech start-ups, kids!!!) my social life vanished. strikethrough on livejournal happened right then too and fandom, which i’d only been a silent participant in at that point, kind of went quiet for a while and by the time it started regrouping I was so busy that I didn't know about it. several awful years later I quit my job, spent several months in my room in my parents' house trying to recover from massive burn out (see my comment about tech start-ups), and then got a job on the opposite coast and left behind my whole circle of friends some of whom made up my entire connection to the queer community at that time.
making friends after college is very hard when you're an introvert and just generally don't like socializing that much. making queer friends can be even harder since there's fewer places to meet them and there's often an underlying question of dating/sex that hovers around awkwardly when sometimes what you want is just an absolutely no romo/no sex friendship. so while I did make a few queer friends eventually, I didn't have that same sort of community I did before I'd moved and I missed it
(I would be remiss in not saying that the queer friends i made in this time are all amazing and wonderful and some are still my close friends and very important to me. The thing I’m highlighting here was the lack of feeling like I was part of a larger queer community).
fast forward a bit. I get sick. like really really sick. I'm in and out of the ER, I'm missing tons of work, I'm mostly bed-ridden. I think after the last few years people can more easily appreciate how intensely lonely and surreal being stuck at home by yourself non stop can be when you're not used to it. sometime right before that I'd joined tumblr for the sole purpose of looking at cat pictures on my phone during boring meetings. I wasn't really aware that this was where fandom had migrated to (it was in fact possible to use tumblr without intersecting with fandom). but stuck home alone with time to kill I started looking for art and gifs of the tv and games I was consuming and stumbled into fandom tumblr and specifically queer femslash fandom.
I kind of poked around the territory and eventually fell into the carmilla fandom which became the first fandom I actually created content for. a few of my fics had a decent audience and while I was never part of the central core of the fandom I made some good friends there. some of y'all probably followed me back then. I eventually drifted away from carmilla for a lot of reasons I won't get into and stumbled right into poi. this would have been between seasons 4 and 5, late 2015-early 2016.
my health problems get more exciting and I end up in the hospital. I have vague memories of watching poi on my laptop in my hospital bed (vague because I was on a lot of morphine). I actually posted some fic while I was in the hospital (would have been the end of my carmilla run still).
and I get out of the hospital (early 2016) and am somewhat better but it's pretty clear that I'm going to have chronic health issues probably for the rest of my life. my social life, such as it was, was mostly dead, a lot of stuff I used to do for fun was much harder to manage. I'm still spending a ton of time at home (not even counting covid) and I have bad days where I feel terrible and can't do much. but I'll come back to that
I think most of us remember 2016. the year tv show runners fully embraced the bury your gays trope (and sometimes the fridging trope at the same time as a bonus!) and, by autostraddle's tally, 30 queer female characters in tv shows died. and then on top of that we had the actual real world tragedy of the pulse nightclub shootings. it was a massively depressing time all around for queer people
s5 of poi aired that year. I know people have different opinions on s5 of poi, and that's valid. I hated it. and I really intensely hated how it treated root and shaw. there aren't enough words to express how fucking angry I was after s5. or rather, there are 319,678 words.
I wrote a fic many of you may have read called sliding towards chaos that rewrote the entirety of poi from mid-s3 onwards. it got pretty popular lol. I put so much into writing it, too. it was basically a second full time job for me and a great way to take my mind off the fact I was still having health problems and all the crazy shit going on in the world (we had a presidential election in the US in 2016 :)))) it did not go well!)
i'm very proud of writing stc, and even if I think it isn't my strongest writing (which is good! improving over time is good!), it was what really connected me to a lot of other people in the fandom. I felt part of the fandom community in a way I hadn't with carmilla and it was an intensely queer community built around shared interests
one of the problems with finding queer friend groups out in the 'real world' is you're often gathering to meet based on the uniting factor of being queer, and your interests may vary greatly. fandom is amazing because it lets you find queer people who you share all these interests with and who you can bond with over them and collaborate with and that's just so so important. does fandom have a ton of issues and toxicity and bigotry? yes, absolutely. but it also has so much good to offer
through stc and later fics I became close friends with some really really cool people in the fandom (including my favorite writer and my favorite artist). these are people I'm still very close friends with. some of them I've hung out with offline and the ones I haven't are mostly because they live too far away. after years of not having my own queer circle of friends I have found one again and one I can usually participate in even with my health problems and that is such an important thing to me
on a creative front, the fic writing and the gif making I've done have both taught me an enormous amount and been a very positive part of my life. working collaboratively on comics has been one of the coolest things I've done. there is just so much good that came out of me seeing one shoot gif on tumblr dot com years ago and being like hmm looks gay I'm in
and in terms of the actual content of the show, I think a lot of the reason I was drawn to it (other than my lingering crush on fred from angel) was that root and shaw felt so uniquely and wonderfully queer in a way few f/f ships I'd seen had before. shaw being bi and reading as aro to me (I've talked about that here) and root being a chaotic computer nerd just felt so relatable to me and their relationship with each other made sense to me in a way that few others had. and the specific draw that they had for some fans probably has a lot to do with why I found friends in this fandom who I really clicked with
so yeah. I don't know how to sum this up. fandom can be a great way to find your people and engage your creativity and I think that's very sexy
18 notes · View notes
ddarker-dreams · 4 years ago
Text
Fallen From Grace. Yan Giorno x Reader [COMM]
Tumblr media
Giorno has given you too many gifts to count.
This benevolent act serves multiple purposes, culminating towards the goal of making your time here better. He doesn’t shy away from the reality of what he’s doing to you, the extent of your loneliness after being displaced. Forcing himself to remember this bitter truth keeps him from getting complacent, striving to make your experience all the better. 
No detail is to be overlooked. In what little free time Giorno has, he molds your surroundings to your liking. The meals that are planned for you consist of high nutritional value, often rotating your favorites with only the best ingredients and chefs to prepare them. Your wardrobe is full of outfits tailored to your measurements and tastes. Rare and ethereal flowers span across the master bedroom you share with Giorno, him creating them with the purpose of soothing you. 
For all this effort, Giorno never has an expectation for your gratitude. He doesn’t believe he deserves it, having stolen you from your normal life. He’s the reason for the tear soaked pillows, the restless nights and detached demeanor you’ve adopted. Whether it’s to ease the guilt that suffocates his heart, or to see your eyes light up for only a moment, Giorno tends to you. 
This custom, handmade journal is one he gave you at the start of your time here. With you receiving limited human interaction, Giorno found it important for you to have a way to express your thoughts. While you were initially antagonistic towards him about the journal, you began to use it. He lets you hide it from him, letting you believe it’s out of his reach for peace of mind. 
Ironic as it may sound, Giorno respected you by never laying a finger on it. The overwhelming temptation of learning his beloved’s most inner thoughts isn’t lost on him. He could read it and place it back to its original spot without you being none the wiser. For months, he made a point in refusing this alluring idea. 
That is, until this very second. 
Sitting on his dark mahogany desk, is the journal that contains your private thoughts and experiences. Giorno’s eyelids flutter shut, a soft sigh leaving his lips. Leaning further into his chair, he gives more thought to the situation. The forbidden fruit lays before him, ready to give knowledge he shouldn’t have. 
There’s a grander reason for this dilemma. When spending time with you, Giorno is keen to pick up every nuance of your behavior. It’s a trait of his that has followed him since childhood. Every twitch of your mouth or hesitation in your voice paints a larger picture. He’s capable of reading you, knowing your thoughts before you even know them yourself. This often works out in his favor. 
But lately, when he speaks to you, something feels different. In a way that doesn’t make sense. You still hold apparent dislike for him, but you avoid eye contact less. There’s a sense of underlying assurance, like you’re privy to information that he isn’t. It gets under his skin, eating him from the inside out. 
No longer do you threaten him with bitter words, detailing your resentment towards him. You seem content to sit in his presence, talking casually about what you’ve done that day and asking him the same. He won’t lie and say he doesn’t like the development. But his gut tells him there’s a malicious intent laced in your new behavior. 
What are you hiding from him? 
The realm of possibilities is few and far between, and Giorno considers every possibility. None of his theories placate a voice in his head, a gnawing that something is very wrong. Talking to you and asking questions laced with hidden agendas has led to no discoveries, options growing limited to discover the truth.
Running his fingertips over the spine of your journal, he gingerly opens to the first page. It’s a dirty feeling to be doing this, invading your privacy behind your back. He’s done worse for the sake of your well being, the justification spurring him to continue on to the next page. It contains your first entry. 
“I didn’t want to write this. Putting the words into paper almost feels like I’m accepting the reality of what’s happening to me, this parody of a life. I don’t have much else to do to pass the time. 
Even my hobbies bring me little joy, knowing who set them up for me like a doll in a dollhouse. Focusing is another thing entirely. How can I focus knowing I’m always being monitored to some degree? Even as I write this, I wonder who’s watching me. 
In the past, when I felt anxious, I’d write. And well… anxiety is the heartbeat of my life now. Everyday I wake up, more numb than the last. All I look forward to is when I’ll sleep next. At least then I don’t have to feel anything, I can just exist without trying. There’s nothing else for me to say.”
He knew this wasn’t going to be easy. Giorno’s lips curl down into a frown, his eyebrows furrowing and stomach dropping. Seeing the depths of your pain so tangible, in your own words, kills a piece of his soul. It’d be an insult to you to waver now, he thinks, resolve staying firm. Not wanting to invade your privacy more than necessary, he skims through more entries in hopes of finding any leads on your current behavior.
“It’s already been three months since I’ve begun living here, if you can even call it that. I’ve gotten better at spotting the guards. I like to think of it as a little game. They’re good, I give them that. But when you have nothing to do, living in a house with no noise, it grows easier to listen. To notice things I wouldn’t have before. 
Maybe I’m going stir crazy. I don’t like knowing how I’m being monitored, but I’ve grown accustomed to it. I hate to admit how he was right , when he said I’d grow accommodated to this with time. I don’t want to. I don’t want to learn to live like this. But I can’t stop it. Resisting the inevitable is a pointless waste of energy, which I hardly have anymore.” 
Giorno picks up on your lack of mentioning him by name. In most of your entries, you avoid even insinuating to his existence when possible. It’s a cold sensation, knowing who he loves most omits him at every chance. He understands -- it’s what he deserves after putting you through this isolation -- yet the complex hurt remains prevalent. Every word stingers more than the last.
He soldiers on, searching through more entries. 
“I wonder if they’re allowed to talk to me. When I call out to the occasional shadow, or creak in a room beside me, there’s no response. But I know they’re here, I’ve seen him giving them orders in the past when I pretend to sleep. It’s always in hushed whispers, as if anything they say could surprise me. 
I just want to talk to someone. Someone that isn’t him. Someone that doesn’t avoid my gaze like everyone else here. It makes me feel like I’m a disgusting sight to behold, even though I know why they look away. The guilt from witnessing what they do, outweighed by their longing for money. I hate it. It makes me hate them. At least look at me, like I’m a human. 
They’re spineless cowards. All of them. Disgusting subhumans that take a paycheck over my suffering. I hate them so much, almost more than I hate him.” 
Giorno freezes, noticing small crinkles in the paper towards the end of this entry. Signs that you must’ve been crying, he deduces. God. He wants to tell himself that it’s worse than he thought, but that’d be a lie. All along he’s been aware of the great extents of your suffering, all pointing back to him. 
Running a hand through his hair, loose from its normal styling, Giorno wonders if he should stop now. Every word is like a nail in the coffin of his heart, paining him in more ways he thought possible. Making difficult decisions has come as second nature to him, so he preserves on. 
“Yesterday was my birthday. What a shitty thing to realize. I got a lot of things. More than I ever had gotten before. More offline games, clothes, perfume, shoes, jewelry, and even a painting. By the looks of it I think it’s rare, but who gives a fuck. 
An interesting development occurred. One of my guards, if that’s what you’d even call them, approached me. He had just gotten off the phone, and informed me that my plans for the day were going to be different. Apparently the big boss got held up at work, so he wouldn’t be joining me for dinner.
Am I supposed to be upset about that? Well, I certainly wasn’t. Who cares. Seeing him would just make me feel worse. I hate how out of control I feel like he’s around. I almost find myself forgetting about all he’s done, when he speaks to me so calmly. Just thinking about it makes me feel dirty, like I should shower. 
I didn’t see a point in responding at first. But eventually, I spoke up before the guard could leave. I asked him why he was okay with this, what he sees everyday. He didn’t offer a response. But I noticed something. His breath hitched, I’m sure of it. 
Maybe there is another human being in this pseudo-prison after all.” 
A painful reminder of the past. It did hurt him at the time to have to miss out on an important day with you, even though Giorno was self aware to know his presence brought you little comfort. There had been emergency phone calls over an attack from former Passione members, retaliating for losing drug related income. 
The timing of it was awful, just thinking back to it reminds Giorno of the impatience he felt then. Hours were spent personally dealing with cleaning up what had happened, meaning he wasn’t able to see you as was originally planned. Orders were given back home to inform you of this change, though it’s now evident it impacted Giorno more than you. 
The last section piques his interest. You felt you had noticed guilt in one of the guards? The pool of men that Giorno had carefully sifted through are no strangers to witnessing barbaric acts. Such is the life of a gangster. In your state of heightened emotions, there’s a possibility you could’ve imagined it. 
The journal goads him to continue, unraveling the mysteries of your heart.
“I’ve gotten better at spotting the guards.
I can’t believe something like this is exciting to me, but it is these days. It’s kinda funny in a pathetic way, watching as they shrink back when I spot them. The guard from before is the one I recognize the most. I pretended to be hurt, and he came out of the shadows to check on me. 
I guess he wasn’t expecting me to turn around looking fine after my acting, because he didn’t leave right away. Before he got the chance, I asked what his name is. He sighed, probably relieved that he wouldn’t have to report to his boss about me being harmed. He said his name is Marco. 
At that point, it was my turn to be surprised. I guess he was too, given the slip up. I must confess, it felt nice talking to someone. It’s been so long since I’ve heard another person’s voice. He went to walk away soon after, but I stopped him. It’s not like they can use force to get rid of me, so why the hell not? 
I told him I was bored and wanted someone to talk to. And, for some reason… he stayed.” 
Giorno rereads this passage multiple times, scrutinizing it. So you managed to speak to one of the guards he assigned to watch over you? When he was recruiting within Passione for the position, he made expectations explicitly clear. They were not to interact with you unless an emergency calls for it. And if they felt the situation called for it, they needed to report it back to Giorno. 
Your safety is paramount in his eyes. Regardless of this being a minor grievance, this guard will be punished accordingly for breaking the rules Giorno set. All of them were put in place knowing that if you grew connected to someone and they you, possibilities of insubordination would blossom. 
The dates on the pages are getting closer to the current day, not many more entries left. 
“Marco and I have been speaking more frequently.
He gave me a rough idea of the conditions in which we can talk, only in certain blind spots and times where other guards aren’t around as often. I wish it wasn’t so complicated. In our rushed conversations, I’ve learned more about him. I didn’t really think I would get all that invested in this person, since he’s stood by and watched my situation for a while now.
But now it makes a bit more sense. He told me that his little sister is unwell, having to practically live in a hospital room. That this dirty job is the only one that can cover the full expenses, and that without it she wouldn’t last. I can’t say that I forgive him entirely yet, but… I guess I can sympathize. I wish there was more I could do to help. 
Her name is Lucia. One of the times we talked Marco told me she’s the strongest person he knows, staying dedicated to her studies despite having waning strength. She’s a few years younger than me, but I think we’d have gotten along well. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to leave this place, but I wish I could meet her one day. 
Having him to talk to is nice.” 
Ah... so that’s what it is then.
Unpleasant emotions rise within, feelings that Giorno long thought were gone. Times before when you were speaking freely with your friends, laughing among them and living your life to the fullest. Those times were he wanted nothing more than to join you, to have you by his side and share in the experience. His position shot down any hopes of that, the possibility of endangering you deterring him. 
It was a painful time. Knowing that what he wanted was close and yet so painfully far, just out of his reach. Giorno wanted you to look at him like that, mirth in your eyes and a smile on your lips. To enjoy outings to the movies like you did with your friends, to have inside jokes and memories to fondly look back on. 
Envy doesn’t begin to describe the hideous feeling that permeates within him. Giorno’s grasp on your journal feels weaker, fingers shaking as he flips to the next page. Predator-like intent shines on his visage, emerald eyes narrowed and grip tightening. Not typically one to dwell on what could’ve been, it’s rare Giorno would feel like this. He makes the most out of every situation, his resolve unwavering and sights set on a single goal. 
You throw all of it into a loop, his normal composure a long forgotten memory. 
“Today I played a game of checkers with Marco. 
I think he was letting me win, but it was fun nonetheless. Apparently one of the normal guards was tending to business elsewhere, so we had more time together. He’s kind, kinder than I would’ve ever expected. When we’re together I just forget about everything other than the present moment. 
For once, I don’t feel like a prisoner all on my lonesome. I don’t notice the heavy ring on my finger, the suffocating air of this villa that I despise. It’s just us, cracking jokes and learning about one another. It’s what I look forward to the most, what I hold onto even when Marco isn’t around. It makes me feel human again. Like I’m not [First] Giovanna, but entirely myself.
Smiling comes a lot more naturally these days. I can even find myself stomaching his presence easier, though I still don’t like when he’s around. As long as he doesn’t find out about Marco and I, I feel like I can get through this. Everyday I change the location of this journal, within the expanses of this mansion. 
I still wish there was more I could do to help Lucia. I suggested giving Marco some of this stupid jewelry to pawn off, but he said it’s too risky. It’s surreal to know even pawnshops in Italy are fiercely loyal to Passione’s Don, and would be too hesitant to purchase his wife’s jewelry in fear of retaliation. 
Having all this wealth surround me feels like a waste when I know there’s someone who could actually use it. As much as I don’t like the thought, maybe I could convince Giorno to help Marco somehow. I have a few ideas but they’re probably all too risky. He does always tell me, ‘If you ever want anything in this world, tell me.’ 
I want to help Lucia. I want to help Marco, who I’ve found myself caring for. 
I’ve never asked Giorno for anything really. I don’t know how to propose it without making him suspicious--” 
Giorno can’t stand to read it anymore. 
Closing the book and placing it down, he steeples his fingers together. It takes a great deal of effort to frustrate him, normal composure melting away. Is it betrayal? Hurt? Jealousy? Everything wraps around his person, the air in his office feeling thick. Loosening the tie around his neck, he takes a much needed deep breath. 
A flash of your smile from earlier this evening at dinner comes to mind. You called him by his name, maintaining eye contact and asking about his day. Lulled into a false sense of security, wanting to believe nothing more than the farce unfolding before him. Of course you didn’t love him back. He was a fool to have deluded himself into believing that. 
At his fingertips is his phone. With a single phone call, he could command the world to fall. To have this guard who failed him tortured in the worst ways imaginable, experiencing hell on earth. Or to even join Passione’s former boss in a never ending cycle of death, that stretches the lengths of eternity. 
So many possibilities. Yet none of them would soothe the agony of his heart. Completely and utterly alone once more, like his earlier days. Requited love was all but an illusion, a fog that has now been lifted. 
Giorno purses his lips, considering. Fingers drum against his desk, the sound reverberating across the empty room. Grabbing a hold of his phone, he calls upon someone who could help him deal with this traitor appropriately. A message must be sent, he thinks, that will set the tone within the organization. It will hurt you to lose this newfound companion, but it’s a sacrifice he is willing to make. It’s not like you need to know the details either. 
The phone rings. Once, twice. Before his second in command on the other line picks up. 
“Yo, Giorno? You’re calling pretty late,” Mista’s voice is chipper as ever, the distant sound of music playing in the background. “Everything alright?” 
Getting up from his chair, he walks over to the window that overlooks his garden. His beloved wife walks among the paths, bending down and inspecting a rose. Giorno remembers when he turned an object into that very flower, how your dull eyes lit up at the awe inspiring sight. 
This is ultimately all for you, he reminds himself.
“Yes, everything is fine. Are you free at the moment? I have a job for you.”
513 notes · View notes
princess-fuckrosa · 4 years ago
Note
hello again¡! thanks for the rules and don't worry i'm still trying to understand this app 😂 welp, i would make my request about one of my favs on mm which it's seven 💚 so hc for him with a s/o that has toc, please idk if too much ask but hope that you aren't uncomfortable with it but if you are then i would like to request hc for him with a s/o that lives in another country (like an online relationship skkd) hope u are having a beautiful night¡! please, take care of yourself!!! 💚
Ahhhw Anon, thank you! When I first saw your request yesterday it made me so happy! I decided that I would love to write both of your requests, but I'm a dummy and I have no idea what toc means :( I tried to Google it but it didn't lead me anywhere, so, could you send another request about it? I'm so sorry that there are so many problems with me, I swear I will try my best to make it up for you 💖
So for now, here are the headcanons about your second idea. I hope you like them, it was really fun to make these! :D Also, Seven is a total bae 🥺❤
I used she/her pronouns for this one, but let me know if this is not what you looking for!! 💖
Seven and a s/o from another country
Meeting new people on the internet is not an unfamiliar concept for Seven. Of course, Yoosung is the typical gamer of the group, but Seven himself is a gamer deity. And with that in mind, I can easily picture that the two of you met under similar circumstances.
It doesn't really matter if you are a pro gamer, a beginner, or just in the middle, only playing because you are bored, somehow you managed to catch his eye, maybe because you laughed at his jokes.
He asked you if he can add you as a friend on any social media and after that everything just went as it should. Shortly after that, you noticed that he is the first person to say hi in the morning, and he is the last one you say good night to as well.
He asks you where are you from early in your friendship, and first, he was a little disappointed when he found out that you are living on the other side of the world.
Later, still in your friendship state, he will start to refer to you as his gamer wife, he will say it is just a joke but will melt if you call him gamer husband.
You basically just joke through the beginning of your friendship, and you grow closer and closer, he will see the distance between you as a blessing, as his line of work is really dangerous, and he would absolutely hate himself (more) if something would happen to you.
So after a while, when he made sure that you are safe, and no one can find you through him, he will finally collect himself to confess to you. But don't expect anything traditional.
Instead, try to imagine this: the next time when you turn on your computer, you got a text from Seven to go to your window in the other room, like, RIGHT NOW. You know he is up to something, but you have no idea, so you just go to the other room and text him because you don't see anything interesting, but he is already offline. You stand there for several minutes, scoping around, hoping that you will eventually see what he meant, but as you find nothing, you go back to your computer, waiting for him to reply.
That's it when you saw something... different on your desktop.
'Open me <3' - you see the title under a big heart icon. He did this, you have no doubt about it. When you launch it, it happens to be a quiz game: questions about your relationship together, with some seemingly unrelated questions.
In the end, you got your results saying: "OMG WE WOULD MAKE A PERFECT COUPLE!" among a short description of why he... My bad, of why the quiz thinks that.
You can't help but laugh, at the same time, you feel so happy that he finally confessed - and the way he did it was brilliant.
After this, you may or may not have a more serious conversation about it, depends on your opinion about online dating. (I mean, I would want to make sure he's not catfishing me after all lol)
Honestly, dating online is more comfortable for him. Don't get me wrong, he would love to hold you or kiss you, but this space between the two of you helps him hide all of those sad thoughts he has. Of course, as you spend more and more time together, he will tell you about them, but... it's just a very small percent of his actual problems.
He just doesn't want to be a burden with his depression and anxiety, and when you came to his life, it made a very big difference, but still, he has these conditions he is not ready to talk about. Of course, with time, you will notice when something is not quite right, but most of the time, he will hide these things as best as he can.
He will be really affectionate, always asking you if you had your meals, drank enough, etc., always asking about how are you. He would never miss any opportunity to send you gifts.
Your online dates are legendary. He really likes to challenge you, like making the same recipe, and while you can't taste-test each other's food, you can still judge it by preparation time and serving. Watching movies or TV shows are don't count as a date anymore because you do that regularly, it's more like a ritual now, just as game nights.
If you are up for video chats too, you can learn some dances together, and it's always super fun.
And who knows, maybe someday you will meet in person too if you are up for it, but if you are happy with just texting, voice and video calls, then he is perfectly fine with that too.
He just loves you so much.
82 notes · View notes
ajokeformur-ray · 4 years ago
Note
Hi 💚 Could I get matchup for Joker (Heath Ledger version)? I am a 5'1 geeky bi girl with medium long very dark brown hair and brown eyes. I love anything that is technology related especially video games,making mods for video games, emulators that emulate old devices, messing with AI etc. , working out, drawing (mainly digital and on rare occassions traditional), reading sometimes and I recently started learning how to make simple 3D models and video editing. I am quiet (the quiet type that is afraid if they join in a conversation they'll say something stupid in the process making themselves an outcastt), semi-shy and I try to be as kind as I can be in many ways (by doing random acts of kindness both online and offline).
Hello, darling!💙 I’m so sorry for the super long wait on this request!💜🌸 I adore writing matchups, they’re so rewarding! Not just to me, because I’m able to give back to this beautiful community in a small way and hopefully bring people a small piece of joy, but also to those who request them!💗🤗I hope that you like this, angel, and thank you so much for sending this in!🥰💖
Tumblr’s a butt with notifs so I’m tagging you in this too: @mermaidpowers1
Word count: 1, 073.
Tumblr media
J stands at a solid six foot so he is more than a bit amused by the fact that you’re considerably shorter than him. You can expect for short jokes to make up the bulk of what J says to you in a casual setting, such as when you’re around some of his goons. His nicknames for you, short stuff, strawberry shortcake, short stack, shortie and the like are never intended to be mean-spirited, and if you are sensitive to your height then J would only make a short joke the once. What’s the use of insulting the only person who gives J free license to come into their home whenever he needs food, some medical attention, a place to sleep and to go? It would be counterproductive and counterintuitive, though J would not apologise for crossing that boundary. Instead, he would only commit to not making such jokes (aloud) again. He is a man of his word, but he is also a man of doing things and J knows well that words mean nothing if one doesn’t follow through with them through actions. J isn’t one for aesthetics and he doesn’t care about appearances, but he does find you beautiful and when he’s after something or when he’s wanting to be a little bit affection with you, he will greet you thusly; “hel-lo beautiful. And you are... beautiful.” If you blush, you will be teased for it, but again... it’s all good-natured. You love technology and anyone who walked in on you and J sharing a quiet evening together would come across a peculiar site: you and J sat shoulder to shoulder on your sofa, J sharpening his blades, cleaning his weapons, taking stock of what’s in his pockets, and you, surrounded by computer screens, AI, emulators...  J loves watching you get lost in your element, just as much as you enjoy watching him getting lost in the singing of his blades as he sharpens them. As such, moments like this lead to two sets of eyes meeting for a few seconds. And if J shuffles just a tiny bit closer to you as a result, who are you to say anything?
You enjoy working out and though you often don't know it, J likes to watch you, too. Even if you think you're alone, you may well not be. J is protective of what is his, and so he makes sure that there is surveillance on you at all times. He will know where you are, what you're doing, who you're with... and you won't be any the wiser to any of this, which is just how J likes it. He cares, in his own ways, though he could definitely be less invasive with it. Still, he is who he is and unapologetically so (and how you love that about him). You work hard every day and he's proud of you (though it goes unsaid much of the time so I hope you know how to read his body languages and his impossibly deep eyes). You mainly draw digitally and though J isn't all that bothered by your hobbies, he quietly admires your dedication to them and he even marvels at what your hands can make. He uses his hands just as much as you do and where he destroys, you create. Two opposite beings, two tendencies at stark oppositions on the scale, but you work well together. It is a quiet relationship between the both of you but it what you both work well in. You may not speak often but J can hear you even when you're not speaking. You're his open book and he finds it refreshing to never have to question your motives, your mood... he can see you with a single glance. J likes to do things, but with you he can also simply be; you're who he didn't know he needed until he did. You like to read and if J's in the main area of Gotham then he might just swipe a book on his way to the bank or on his way back to Headquarters, and no one will be aware of it because one of his goons killed the CCTV cameras at that precise window of time. Funny how some things align like that... You've been learning for a while now how to make 3D models and edit videos and when J has nothing better to do or when he's just too tired (he is a man, after all, loathe though he may be to admit it), likes to sit beside you and watch you work. He may ask questions here and there but ultimately he lets you be because you do the very same thing for him when he's busy, too. You complement one another well.
You are quiet and J is loud and in this way do you balance one another out. The first time J realised that you weren't speaking in case you said something stupid, he approached the topic in a way which was about as subtle as a sledgehammer. "What, ah - what are'ya thinking, doll, hm? It ain't just hot air up there,"  A wry grin, and J tapped your temple with a gloved finger, "So c'mon - talk to me. What'cha thinking of?" and though you hesitated, you did speak and J rewarded you for doing what he asked of you by listening to you. It was an event which brought you closer. "Don't ever silence yourself around me, toots. The world will, ah - do that for ya. So talk to me, hm? Ya'ain't stupid or, ah - dumb, hm?". It took time, you couldn't just magically talk freely over night, but J can be patient when he needs to be. So when you speak, J listens and he hears even what you don't say. You are a little shy and he does tease you about it sometimes. You genuinely amuse him and he enjoys your company a great deal - he proves this every time he scares the shit out of you at four in the morning by climbing in through your bedroom window. You try to be as kind as you can and J quietly admires your openness and vulnerability in a world as cruel as this. It only increases his protectiveness over you and J resolves to put an end to anything or anyone to dares to harm what is his.
9 notes · View notes
interstellix · 4 years ago
Text
airplane ↳ kim seungmin
genre: fluff
summary: in which you and seungmin are finally able to go on the trip you’ve planned for since long
word count: 1110
requested: no
warnings: none
a/n: LISTEN this is the Epitome of Cringe but i haven’t written in months but i love airplane sm so i just :’(( had to write smth based on it :’(( so ye have mercy on me lmao 
Tumblr media
the toddler a few rows ahead has, after what feels like a lifetime, stopped crying. there’s no random, annoying kicking against your seat anymore as the old man behind you seems to have fallen asleep. the food you had not all too long ago was surprisingly good, now feeling full, though not regretting having eaten the dessert you had saved for last. there’s the low rumbling of the engines and the occasional turbulence sending butterflies in your stomach. however, not as much as,
“seungmin?”
from the middle seat next to you, said one opens his eyes and peeks at you, humming. “do your ears still hurt?” you ask, referring to how his ears started hurting from the air pressure an hour or two ago.
seungmin shakes his head with a small smile, “sucking on that candy worked after all.”
you snort, “listen to me next time.”
he laughs at your half-joking reaction but through the sound of it, you can still make out the exhaust in it. looking at him, you note how he does look tired as well. it’s not really surprising, seeing how he probably hasn’t been able to fall asleep from the previous pain.
you hum at him and when seungmin curiously glances at you, you gesture to your shoulder the closest to him. “you look tired.”
he looks hesitant but still asks, “are you sure?”
nodding at him, you’re met by another, grateful smile as seungmin leans closer to rest his head on your shoulder. before too long, you feel his body relax against yours and you’re almost certain he has fallen asleep within the time span of a few minutes, until he suddenly says,
“you should get some sleep too.”
“I’m good,” you answer and turn to look out through the window.
seungmin sighs, “y/n, you’ve been staring outside ever since we lifted and it’s been, what, four hours. aren’t you tired?”
“I’m not.” there’s a pause as you keep scrutinizing the view for a few moments. “it’s pretty. can’t help it.”
it’s true, really; you could’ve read the book you brought along in your handbag, or watched a movie on the screen on the back of the seat in front of yours. you could’ve listened to one of the podcasts you’ve saved on your phone on offline-mode or played the game you recently bought for your nintendo switch.
you could even have slept but no. instead, you have spent the past mentioned four hours staring out through the slightly dirty window; the clouds rise like soft mountain peaks; the cotton-like fragments are scattered across and high above the ocean, resembling delicate trails of a paint brush spreading white over blue. stretched all the way to the horizon, they almost shine under the light of the early morning sun. every now and then, you catch airplanes in the far distance flying past but other than that, there’s not much more to see and yet you observe the view as if it were scenes from an oscar-nominated movie.
seungmin hums again in what sounds like agreement, “true, sure is pretty...”
as he says this, a pair of admiring eyes are glued to you while you’re still busy watching one cloud after another.
when you let out a chuckle, he asks, “what’s so funny?”
you point an index finger at the fourth or fifth plane you see flying past. “where do you think they’re heading?”
seungmin can’t help chuckling himself, the question sounding like something a seven year old would ask. nevertheless, he still answers, “maybe back to south korea.”
“... where do you think they came from?”
“maybe where we’re heading now?”
you turn back to seungmin to see him smile only to make you reflect the gesture. “sure took a while until we got this trip through.”
“I mean, both of us were busy with uni and work; can't say economy always was on our good side either,” he begins but soon beams, “but at least we finally got around to it.”
laughing at the mix of peace and excitement he flashes you, you can only nod in agreement before turning back to stare out through the window.
perhaps it’s the calm staining your features, or the content smile on your lips, or maybe it’s really just looking at you but whatever it is makes seungmin intertwine your fingers with his. your smile inevitably grows wider when he brings your hands up to press a feather-light kiss to your knuckles. in return, as they fall back to the small space between your seats, you softly run your thumb across the back of his hand.
"it really is pretty..." you soon comment again, still busy scrutinizing the outside world.
when he speaks, the low hum his words come out in shows how he's the blink of an eye away from sleep and yet, the hint of playfulness lacing his voice doesn't go unnoticed, "not prettier than you though."
"have you always been this cheesy?"
seungmin answers in a yawn, "jesus christ, just take my compliment."
you can't help laughing again but still let out a softly murmurred "thanks," before pressing a light peck to his temple. you pause for a moment and contemplate whether you should disturb him from falling asleep once more or not. in the end, you decide to speak up, cheeks dusted in pink as if it's the first time you utter the three words,
"I love you."
he doesn't respond immediately but eventually, a snort escapes him and a grin crosses his face. "and you call me cheesy, saying that out of the blue."
before you can answer though, seungmin tilts his head up; sleepy and half-shut but warm eyes lock with your own as he settles a gentle kiss to your lips. it's light and doesn't last for more than a second but it's impossible to miss the way ot conveys the purest of feelings he could ever possibly hold for you. he parts, and you're met by a loving smile on his lips as he leans his forehead against yours,
"I love you too."
before long, seungmin finally falls asleep. the baby's screaming comes to life again, the old man has returned to his annoying kicking against your seat. the engine is loud in your ears, the turbulence keeps your stomach spinning and the view outside is still worth admiring.
however, it's like none of it matters anymore.
with him so close next to you and a serenity like never before running through your blood, you soon find yourself fast asleep as well, resting against him, hands still intertwined.
54 notes · View notes
grimoire-of-seven · 5 years ago
Note
Because I’m an angsty bitch, could you do a head cannons from the seven with a terminally ill MC? Or at least really, really sick. Thanks! Love your writing 💕
PROMPT: “If Only We Could Have More Time…”
Rating: SFWWords: 600-700Characters: Demon Boys + MC / Gender-Neutral ReaderNotes:  Hi! I tried not to make the situation all much worse by means of pressing too hard with the subject in a sense, but to end it with something both parties could cherish. I hope you will all enjoy it!~Oh! And this is written in their perspective.~
Lucifer
Shit..Shit..Shit..
F*ck..
Screwsaving face, the Avatar of Pride himself soon began sprinting through the palehallway, missing to register himself by the lobby as his eyes were fixated bythe red beaming light under the sign; emergency room.
It was imprudentto put his phone to silent at his meeting with the prince of Devildom. Heshould have known better not to… otherwise, he would have read your messagehalf an hour ago, their voice replaying in his mind as his feet quicken itspace.
“Heyumm.. Luci? I know itis a bad time to call you.. but umm.. I’ll be having my operation again in anhour according to the doctor. I hope you’ll take it easy with those meetings and take care!”
“I’msorry sir but you could not enter from this point on. I’m afraid you have towait at the waiting area.”
“But Ineed to see them! Are they already there?” The light-bringer tried to reasonwith the man in a white coat but to no avail. His fears only heightened whenthe doctor reminded him of the day’s operation and how it could grave it couldgo further..
“They do tend to get worse every cycle..”“Why?”“Because each infusion gets harder and the doctors say that Ishould expect that I’ll get weaker every moment.”“Then why place yourself in that situation..?”
Thosebitter words clung into the air as the embodiment of Pride could no longer holdhis composure as one of the nurses by the station assisted him to take a seat.With his fingers entwined together, letting his chin rest on it, his feetclearly indicate how uneased his spirit was as the sole continues to move upand down as though it were to pounce to the emergency room.
 Lookingthrough his surroundings, there were also people under his shoes. Hands claspedtogether with their forehead close to it, mumbling under their breath as thoughthey are talking to…
 God?
 Prayingat every second spared before the judgment on the other door. And…
Should he do the same?
 “Ma’amChase?”��Yes?”“Yourdaughter is doing fine now. The operation was a success thanks to Dr. Pomatter.”“Oh thankGod! Can I go see her now?”“Yes, ma’am!This way.”
Thank God?They are thanking… Father? 
He hadresented any forms of communications within the Celestial Realm, only forming aprofessional relation to Simeon and Luke under Diavolo’s rule yet… why are histhoughts claiming otherwise?
No.Why should he ask for mercy?He is Lucifer.The eldest and the leader of his pack.A fallen angel to whom prowess never left, despite his glorytainted by the burning sulfur.Yet here he was, incapable to put Death far back on his drawingboard for picking his human for its next kill.Unable to take his human out of it…
Takinghis focus away from the mortals that surrounded the waiting area, thetelevision played a soap opera and with no remote to control its channels, itwas projecting a tragic scene with the woman dead on her lover’s arms.
 What if their life would be cut shorter than it already is becauseof this operation?
Could he ever digest the thought that within those times they weretogether, he did not spend it wisely because…Because he let his pride in between? Because he considered hisreputation more than..
Closinghis eyes once more, taking in a series of deep breaths, he, the Avatar ofPride, has always seen the display of empathy as a visage of helplessness andit was their little exchange student that demonstrated it to him otherwise.
Nonetheless,with his human weak.. why should he too, present himself in the same conditionjust because of his worries?
It wouldnot be right.He doesnot want to see his human frown just so his face is.
Maybe there is something he could do.. He thought to himself. Ifhe could not bail his human out of the cold-lighted room, perhaps he could maketheir stay un-cold. Something that could make him see them smile again.
Lookingthrough the window as the room itself has proven itself unable to distract thedemon on his own thoughts drowning his own rationality, there was a signagebeaming with fluorescent lights that made him stand and read; 
“Seven..Eleven..”“I wonderif there have any ice cream there..”
 Mammon
 For being the Avatar of Greed, he sure do brag about bein’ their little human’s first to ever make a pact with. He ain’t letting it pass on as just that.
Just to see his brothers sneer and hiss from mentioning it.
It’s like this bullet that could penetrate even to the thickest skull out there.
An accomplishment and for once, it was a pact he felt that wasn’t a curse. The witches should def. take down some notes from his human~
Yet…
He thought to himself…
There’s no one like his human.
 Recalling how his human would ride along to every trouble he creates, every idea he makes, it was this exchange student who was only staying a year that somehow, taught him companionship. And…
He couldn’t take it out of his chest, that he, the Great Mammon, had failed them.He was their first demon to ever make a pact with yet he didn’t do much being one.Perhaps, thinking now, most of them did more than he.Showed more care. Provided more care.And all he did was to get himself out of troubles and the consequences of his actions.Correction: It’s his human that would bail him out… like a mom.
But then, was there anything he could do to being with?
“Dang.. How much am I going to pay you now?”
His human has never even once mentioned of this illness resulting to Death..Well, all diseases would lead to Death but not with this higher rate of going to Death.It‘s like a parade to Death with his human the star of the show.
“I knew I should have bought Boardwalk the moment I landed on it the first time round!”
Maybe he should be the one to blame here.Maybe he didn’t ask more. Known them better.To think even money could betray him because there’s no known cure yet for them.Just like what the doctor said.
“Rent revenue of 50 dollars plus a three houses, umm..”
“Mammon?”
 …
“Mammoney?”
 …
“MonMon!”
“Ya?” Clearing his headspace, the Great Demon of hell went straight to his Boardwalk card. Sure thing that the visit was expensive. He’s getting all the money from this human plus his property, that’s… for sure..
“Is there something wrong?” they asked, their eyes piercing and hoisting only the truth on the sea of lies, he had come up of saying; “For you not to be interested with mone–“
 “I wish I could have known this sooner..”
“Mammon..”
“I could have not wasted your time too much with tossing you from one chaos to another.. and—“
“Mammon…” taking his hand with theirs to entwine with, their little cash-based board game folded in half as they inched closer;
“Why didn’t you ask me to make it go away?”
Did his voice just crack?
“Mammon..”
“I’m the first demon ya got to make a pact with. I got some witches and we might have been able to conjure some potion to get ya ou—“
“Because I just want to spend my time with you..
I do not want our time to be spent on looking for a cure when we could have so much more fun alone.”
Pause.
“Before meeting you, for a while, I was in your shoes too. Looking for a cure that was not there and I am glad that I snapped out of it meeting you.”
“Ummm…” the Avatar of Greed gulped down.
Did he just screw up?
“Because if it were not for you, I would not have enjoyed living. Having fun. Making troubles. I felt alive.”
 For someone whose lifeline is in the near end… a demon, a particular avatar of Greed demon could only comprehend so little. Here was a human, frail and like the money he knows would soon be gone out of his pocket, talking of living life to the fullest with him..
Because of him…
 “So.. are we still playin’ Monopoly or we’ll just snuggle ‘til the nurse bails you out of visitation hours?”
Leviathan
“What do you think we should play next?” Looking to his rightside, his little human was watching intently at the monitor of his laptop,completely ecstatic as he was able to defeat the final boss of the game. He wasable to manage to get through the final boss because of the UR armour pieceshis human was able to pick whenever he has to decide which crate he should openafter completing another level.
“Shall we go for.. Ruri-Chan Idol or A!3?”
“Whatever you decide on, Levi! As long as I’ll get to watch you.”
His eyes tried not to leave theirs but with his eyes inevitablytracing the cord from the IV down to their hands, injected for how long theycould have been admitted, playing video games became much more of a distractionfor him than it was for his human.
“Levi?”
“Y-y-yes?”
Making his eyes return to the person staring back at them, hecould definitely see a glistening spark as their lips curled, reaching theirears.
“Are you afraid of needles?”
Needles?Afraid of needles?Why would he be afraid of needles?
“Me? Afraid of needles? ROFL LMAO. The only thing I’m afraid of isnot having enough diamonds to purchase another UR Ruri-chan for the next event.”
It wasnot the needle that he was afraid of..But rather, on how swollen their hands are.It must have taken a lot from them..
“Then why are you looking at it like it’s some boss level at oneof your video games?”
Just as there were no room left to insert an excuse from hisinventory, he shifted his attention back to his folder of video-games that hewas able to install for offline playing purposes when he heard them laugh oncemore.
“Look at my hand, Levi! It looks like a balloon. I can’t move it..”
“Let me get the nurse then.”
“Why aren’t you saying ‘lol’ or ‘lmao’?”
Leviathan dead-panned looked at his human for quite some time, hiseyes fixated on theirs going to their hand and back again;
“You want me to lol when your hand looks like it weighs a ton?! Ifthis were an otome game, your intimacy with me would go down!”
“I am just kidding.. hahaha”
That laugh. That silly laugh that even a shut-in could not helpbut be flustered every time his ears are graced with it.
“I already rung the nurse station. Someone would come assist meanytime soo-“
“Good day, how could I be of assistance, sir?”
A woman dressed in all white looked at him before it was able todetect the cause of her call.
Her hands soon untangled the weave by his patient’s left hand, askingto keep their hand still as a ball of cotton soon veiled how the needle wasejected from…
And that was when he turned away from the scene and gave the nursesome space as he went through once more to his file of games..
Whichgame would best distract me?
He could always trust his video games.Video games has always shut him out of facing the outside world.Had always been his comfort blanket.But with him always in this comfort blanket, could he be truly there to supporthis human?
“You could look now, Levi!”
Why arethey smiling? What is there to smile? One hand told to be careful and anotherstuck on a board so it would not bend and have the needl—Maybe he is, sort of, afraid of the needle…Because of how it could be dangerous to them!
“How could you be so chill in all of this?”
“Because, I’m used to it?”
“But you see me with every boss level. Yes, I am used to gameshaving boss level but it is still different..”
“Well.. it was quite painful..”
Then whyare you so chill about it?Is this perhaps.. jealousy with how their human could handle things that ademon couldn’t?Him shutting in and them.. facing it?
“But today, I feel fine today.~”
“How come?” the Avatar of Envy looked once more to their hands,knowing how their left hand would soon be swollen too after a couple of IVs anddays..
“Because I have you.~”
Thishuman..
Sensing his cheeks go crimson red in heat, he tried concealing hisface with one hand, hearing once more that silly laugh, making him moreflustered. “Warn me next time when you’ll go cheesy, human.”
“How about this.. I’ll play a game and you will watch whileresting on my shoulders.”
“What will you be playing?”
“Do you have that game where the owner of a fast-food restaurantof chickens in a dating simulator?”
Satan
“Sorry, I’m late.”
Watching his human finish the last spoonful of their supper andpausing a video from their phone, it was prominent to his tone how angry he wasto himself. Mixed with frustration as his efforts of spending more time at thelibrary, looking at every bookcase for a book with a solution to theircondition, wasted as he found none.
Of all the spells and ancient writings, Devildom is provided with,none could enlighten the Avatar of Wrath on how he could just make theirillness non-existent which only added fuel to the fire considering how there isa book that could swap two entities to the other’s bodies but none about makinga mortal’s terminal illness gone.
“What were you listening to?”
Trying to put the subject or reason of his tardiness to rest bymeans of bringing up another conversation, right now, what the devil wants, isto turn his brain from overthinking off, and more on thinking about them.
“Oh! I was listening to a podcast with a holographic fanatic.”They beamed as though they had spent their time fruitful compared to his. “Youlook a bit tired..”
“A bit tired?”
Are hiseyebags prominent once more? He most definitely would not like to put his humanin worries or to even look tired.That he took from Lucifer.
“But still pretty charming.~”
“Now that is cheesy.”
Putting the food tray and the food container that looks similar tothose at the cafeteria away and near to the door, he saw his human shiftingmore towards their left, a clear invitation for him to be nearer, resulting toSatan putting his coat by the sofa readily available for a visitor.
“What was the podcast about?” He asked as he kept on shifting toattain that perfect and comfortable position to lie down next to them. The bedwas not relatively bad, much to his surprise.
“Just mundane stories that I just missed while being in here.”
If only asickness could tremble and run with his wrath, he would have done it in a snap.Why does sickness have to constrict someone from living?Especially them?
“I’d rather hear about you.~”
Surprised, his features were much more of confusion, somethingthat made his little human laugh and smile as though they were not in such confinedsituations.
“About me?”
“Mhmm!”
There itis again. Those kitty-like eyes.Those eyes that would make him fall for them once more.And make his cheeks flustered and in heat.
“What about me?”
“Anything. Childhood, fondest memories, life as a student..anything! I just want to hear more about you.”
“There is nothing to tell.”
“Eh?”
“Well, there is nothing interesting about me, darling.”
“Don’t say that!”
Hethought he was the Avatar of Wrath..But with his human angry at his reply..He could be dethroned with that title and just be the VP of being the Avatar ofGreed.
“You are interesting!”
“Darli—“
“You truly are! You are interesting to me.”
Interestingto me.
Sensing his ears getting hotter and hotter, he looked up by thepale ceiling, the fan spinning round and round when he felt an arm wrap aroundhis abdomen, warmth coursing through; “Pleeeeaase?”
“All right, all right. Maybe I could tell you how Asmodeus taughtme how to lie to save a kitty.”
“Yay!”
Asmodeus
“Asmo?”
Sensing his fingersentwined further to theirs, the Avatar of Lust fluttered his eyes open, seeingtheirs holding a reflection of himself making his body jerked itself to functionand boost up at once.
“You’re awake!”
How long was he asleep?
“Good morning, beautiful.~”
Beauty?Now now, little human..Let the Avatar of Lust handle the flirting.Although hearing their compliment was definitely  more boosting than any reserved slot or timefor spas and saunas.
“How are you feeling,dear?”
Looking through his phone,it was already 4am by his lockscreen, garnering how the Beauty himself wouldalready have underbags on his eyes. But that is something a cold slice ofcucumber and sleep would cure. Unlike theirs, where the operation was rather concerning in regards of how their body would take it. How the body will heal and take in the changes..
“How long have you beenhere, Asmo?”
This human..When will they ever learn to answer before asking?
“Just an hour ago. Then Ifell asleep instantly.~”
Lies.He had been there for hours and perhaps a day?It had been so long since he moved from his seat from their operation and truthbe told..His buns.. his “ass”ets are kinda flat by now.Nevertheless..He would not miss being the first demon his human would see when they wake up.Never.
And to think he was out-waken by his human.
“Was there a nurse thatcame to visit me?”
“There was one that replacedyour IV and checked pressure while ago.”
Both eyes were soon by theIV with its fluid contents were nearly empty, something his lies however, couldnot cover.
“Wow.. Only a while ago withmy IV already up to be replaced? Asmodeus..”
Oops?
“Fine..I have been here formore than a while..”
Pouting their lips with theireyes gazing afar from his to the round décor by the wall, it was evident how hehad spent overnight beside them without any flinch or reconsidering even tomove from his seat before he could see his reflection once more on their eyes.  
“You have dark circlesunder your eyes already.. Do you want to switch places? I will take a seat andyou will lie down on my bed?”
“You are not yet advised toeven sit up, darling.” The demon argued. “Dark circles could be remediedeasily.”
This human just woke up and their first concern is him?Or more specifically, his looks..Truth be told, the same could be said with him but They now come in second.His main priority is them.
“But..”
“No buts now, dear.”
Smiling seeing theirfeatures an upside down reaction to his, he nudged his seat closer to them, hesoon let his pressed his lips against their forehead before stroking a fewstrands of their hair that were, unfortunately, bit too sleek to his liking;
“Darling?”
“Hmm?”
“Want me to help you.. wash?”
“Asmo!”
Blushing at his suggestion,it was more of a concern rather than his usual evocative invitationsconsidering how several cords would hinder the progress, not to mention how thenurse would dutifully remind him of how their hand where it is injected to,should remain unmoved otherwise, blood will come out and ascend to the tube;
“I am quite serious.”
“Eh?!”
“I could wash my darlingbefore breakfast. What do you say?”
“Asmo…”
Finding this all amusing,it was quite difficult to put the talk into a more serious tone but with thenurse coming in an hour or two for their breakfast, it seems the Avatar of Lusthas to surrender it all;
“I could get a towel and abowl so you could work clean yourself while I will be in charge of cleaning anddrying it What were you thinking, silly?.”
“Oh..”
“It looks like someone ishaving a different idea. We could always do that.~”
“Asmo!”
Oh it is good to have them back.
Beelzebub
“Is this what they have inthe cafeteria?”
It was then, that even theAvatar of Gluttony found food unappetizing. They were looking rather bland andfrom the faces of the people eating, they seem to care more about filling inthe void there is at their guts rather than actually enjoying the food.
He would most certainly beable to tolerate it, especially when he sensed his tummy rumble when his palmrested on it but, for his human to also have the same experience?
It was a big no-no.
With an hour and a halfbefore the nurse or staff would give their meal for the noon, the Avatar ofGluttony followed his second brain to scout and find stores that sells betterfood.
Tastier food.
Just the thought of it hadhis stomach grumble as his nose then sniffed out, making several stops near thehospital’s vicinity, surprised with what mortals could do with simple and fewingredients that the demon presumes to be readily available.
Perhaps he should come around and know their delicacies more?He had always heard stories from them about some food that are spoken not tohis language despite being Gluttony himself.
With goodies in a largebag, truth be told, he was not accustomed to what his person would call “terminalillness”. It was a shock and the thought of it became overwhelming. His pacewere gradually slower as his mind could not erase their confession of theirailment, how they warned him, but did he listen?
He did.But he did not want to let it hinder them.And he will never let it be.
“That’s all for you?!”
At this point..
His eyes were fixated ontheirs, breaking its trance with the sound of the door shutting, making hiseyes travel lower down to their figure. They have been getting thinner thanthey were when they were introduced, having his rear colored with dark blues.
Perhaps, it reminded himtoo much of famine.. Seeing it onto the privileged’s eyes as they take what is supposed to be shared to others.
Taking the moment to settlewhat he had brought over by a small bedtable, his lips subconsciously drew asmile, refraining himself from making a comment or two about it.
“Why is that what you wouldalways say..”
With a giggle or two, therewas already a feast laid out on the table, making no room for the food providedby the facility, something he would just have to eat all to himself to trickthe staff, his eyes reflecting how swell they looked from sensing the newvarieties offered on their plate.
“Didn’t I mention we would have lunch together?”
“Yup. And I always get myusual hospital food.. But not anymore!~”
“Now hold on before diggingin..”
Munching the food away toreplenish the sense of famine within him, diverse yet complimenting flavors overwhelminghis tongue, it was obvious the Avatar of Gluttony could not help either to moanto compliment the divine food he just purchased or continue munching as thoughthey were alive and would run away.
“Umm.. Beel?”
“..Yes?”
Hearing them laugh ascrumbs went onto his shirt like a waterfall, his eyes fell too onto theirplate.
They have not even touched their plate..
“Could you help me slice upthis chicken?”
Is this why they are so thin?Because the food is rather inaccessible for a one-hand person?
“Of course.”
It took quite a while forBeelzebub to settle his fourth hamburger and mince to their favored sizes.
If that is the problem..Maybe he could offer them a solution instead.Him.
“Now say ahh..~”
“Beel!”
“Hmm?”
“I could do it on my own..”
“Not when I am holding yourfork, you couldn’t.~”
Belphegor
Violently shaking what heheld dearest onto his arms, not even a flinch or any movement came about totheir chest, making himself tremble, holding them closer to him.
It couldn’t be true.This is just a dream..He needs to wake up.
Belphegor could take on anyhardships there is, burden there is, but not facing the inevitable yet.. He wasnot ready yet.
And probably never will.
To an Avatar of Sloth,wasting time had been his forte, and to spend it efficiently.. is this what hisdream is communicating him with?
“Nnnn…”
“No.. no..no…”
“Nooo…”
Sensing his consciousnessseeping through, his body felt like being electrocuted by the door creaking anda stranger’s voice entering.
How long has he been passed out?
Usually, he could care lessabout such trivial matters but feeling like sleeping schedules and body clocksbut with someone’s life given with a countdown…
“Good evening. Is he your guardian?”
Turning his head to facethe voice, his vision soon could interpret the man as the hospital’s securitywith his record book at hand and a pen, his eyes for a moment, on Belphegor’sstate.
“Yes he is.”
There they are, sitting onthe sole chair provided for the guest with the metal rod or pole accompanying them,assisting the flow of the IV through their veins.
“Will he be stayingovernight?”
“He will be.”
“On it. Seems like he’s thepatient rather than you are. Ta-ta!”
“That’s not true…” Hemuttered, dark hues reappearing on his rear just as they were visible in hisdreams.
“Are you okay, Belphie? Youwere sleeptalking again..”
“I was?”
Shit.
“Just a random dream, Isuppose.”
By the looks of theirfeatures, it did not take too long for Belphegor to know how his response wasunpleasant.
So much for someone who just woke up..
“I just had a nightmare.The curse of sleeping too much.”
He dare not bring up hisown troubles. That would be insensitive nor does he wish to press an issueregarding their limited lifeline.. Truth be told, humans are mortal beings butwith an illness pressing them down towards the inevitable further…
“Would you like to tell meabout it?”
Tell them about it?
“It is just nothing..”
“You’re not really a goodliar, Belphie. How about we get to talk to it with a cup of coffee?”
Though the mattress wasrelatively comfortable and the pillows plump with the scent of theirs, like acertain paradise created for him, his body voluntarily get up and made them coffee.
“Don’t you think my habitsis just wasting your time?”
Crap.. What was he thinking?This is why he should have coffee first before even saying anything..Caffeine before making a mess out of himself.
“What do you mean?”
Too late. He dug himself deeper into this.
“Well..” his back facingthem as the kettle was settled down to two mugs, the powdered mix adding hue tothe pouring hot water; “I am the Avatar of Sloth and I tend to take naps moreoften.. sleep, you know… waste ti—“
“No.”
“No?”
“Because any time with youaround is time spent worthwhile.~”
Bewildered with howcheerful a mortal could be despite their lifeline drawing thinner by everyshift there is on the hands of their own clock?
“I do not understand..”
Parting his lips to gentlysway the heat away from the cup, their hands touch as they reached out for thecup, something with their heat warmer than a hot cup of coffee could provide…and it is rushing towards his cheeks;
“Because I get to hear yousnore.~”
Excuse me??Snore..Have his human mistaken him for Beelzebub?
“I do not snore!”
“You do! And yousleeptalk.~”
“That’s another thing!”
Giggles turning tolaughter, made it all the more embarrassing should he, indeed, does snore. Hishuman was someone who could not lie convincingly, at least for someone who istrained efficiently to sniff the BS out of his brothers;
“I do not snore..”
“Yes you do!” And theyproceeded to imitate it.. or make it looklike he does..?
“Okay, that’s enough..otherwise, I would make sure you get to sleep first before I do.”
“Noooooooo” and theyproceeded to sip their cold coffee, preparing themselves for the battle on ‘who gets to stay awake longer to witness the other fall asleep’.
_________________________________________________Updated masterlist here.
220 notes · View notes
seducatexyz · 3 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
BEST 10 MYTHS ABOUT MAKING MONEY ONLINE
Do you know anything about making money online? I mean anything that is tested and proven, not just seen elsewhere. I’ve heard and read hundreds of myths about making money online. A lot of people, especially newbies, read them, take them as granted and let them ruin their online business – by either not starting it or by walking the wrong way and sticking to it no matter how long it doesn’t work.
Well, I’m working online since eight years and I have tested a lot of things. I know for sure that the following 10 claims are very, very wrong. If you’ve been exposed to them or worse – you believe in them – now is the time to realize how wrong they are.
1. You need loads of traffic.
If your site(s) receive a lot of traffic this can really make it easy to monetize through advertising. But quality is more important than quantity. Sites with less but quality visitors can achieve much higher profits by selling own or affiliate products than the pennies one file-hosting site earns from advertising for example. I have a small site with around 1,000 visitors monthly which earns a lot more than a site with 5,000 unique visitors monthly.
2. You can achieve good results submitting yoursite to thousands of directories.
Directories don’t bring traffic and have no meaningful effect on your search engine rankings. Almost all the site directories are worthless and submitting to them is loss of time and/or money. There are some directories like DMOZ and some niche directories which can bring some benefit if you get listed. But don’t spend too much time even on them – using the directories as promotional method can never make your business.
3. Your products must have the lowest prices.
In fact it’s quite the opposite. If your products are very cheap it’s almost sure you are not going to make much money. First, your products will be perceived as low quality and will attract mostly low quality visitors, trouble-makers and so on. Second, you will need to sell a lot of these products to make profits with thin profit margins. This will not let you use paid advertising tools like PPC for example. And finally, if you are selling products at low prices, other sellers will quickly do the same and reduce your sales. Playing the pricing game isn’t the way to succeed.
Set reasonable prices for your products. You can have quality service, good site, SEO, creativity, advertising, packaging, promotions and so many more advantages instead of low prices.
4. You need top search engine rankings to succeed online.
I love getting search engine visitors. In fact many of my sites rely heavily on search engines traffic. But this is not the only method to succeed online. You can make lots of money online without getting a single search engine visitor. There are so many other free and non-free options to generate traffic: social networks, advertising, PPC, affiliates, referring sites, guest posting on blogs, niche directories, RSS aggregators and many more. In some industries (for example web design) getting top search engine rankings will cost money and efforts that may be out of the reach of an individual. On the other hand, everyone can make a Facebook fan page and promote it, especially with some creativity!
5. You need to have money in order to make money.
For sure! At least $10 for a domain name (although some make money even without a domain name). But that’s all that you really need. Don’t get me wrong, investing money in your web business can help a lot and can speed up the things very much. You can buy advertising, get software developed, get professional design, pay for content, buy links and so on.
But you don’t have to. I have started most of my sites without investment other than domain and hosting. Later I have invested money in some of the sites and kept developing other without investing money. Both ways work and have their advantages and disadvantages.
6. You can build a site, then forget about it and just enjoy the income
With very few exceptions this is simply not true. Web business is just like any other business and requires work. Of course static content sites or software services can run relatively on their own. But some kind of support is always required. And there is a lot of hard work while you get to the moment of making money. Don’t expect that you will throw some site online and the money will start flowing and never stop even if you don’t lift a finger.
7. At any cost avoid the “make money online” niche
People who write about make money online love advising their “students” against doing the same. They will explain you how you will be competing with the best, how the market is over saturated and how you just won’t succeed. I’m not sure why they do it – most probably they want to avoid competition.
Make money online is a huge niche and there is an enormous number of people who are interested in it. While there is also huge amount of supply, there is still a lot of money to be made in it, and there will always be. You shouldn’t be afraid of the huge competition – it only means that the market is huge.
While I make more money in other niches, “make money online” is the one that brings very large profits from a single customer.
8. Relying on online income is very risky.
And how is relying on offline income less riskier? Is working for a boss who can say “you are fired” tomorrow less risky? Or having a small store on the street where a powerful brand can open a new store tomorrow is not risky?
At least online you can have multiple sites and enjoy multiple sources of income. And if a site or even all your sites somehow lose their income you can always try new ones armed with the knowledge and experience of the first ones. And you can do this with almost no money, too.
9. The only people who make money online are those who teach others how to make money online.
That’s the opposite of myth 7. It’s not true. There are millions of small niches where you can create and expand your online business. People make money with sites about curing headache, making pots or returning ex-girlfriend. “Make money online” is only one of the millions. You can try your chances with it, but you can also make money online without ever mentioning the words “money” or “online” in your sites, even once.
10. Affiliate marketing is the best way to make money online
Just like offline, there are many methods to make money online. Affiliate marketing is good, but it’s only one of them. You can make money selling only your own products for example. You can create software (if you are not a programmer you can hire someone to program it), you can sell designs, information products, music, everything.
Some online marketers make money only with AdSense and other advertising without selling neither their own, nor affiliate products. This is just as vital as affiliate marketing. Your business is not tied to the way it makes money and you should try various ways.
seducate official site; https://www.seducate.xyz/
1 note · View note
elizabethsharmon · 5 years ago
Note
Now that s5 has ended what do you think about it? I remember seeing you be quite vocal about the season and then you just stopped and I was just wondering what your general opinion is. Did the fandom scare you away? :(
hey there! I kind of stopped being so loud about the show here cause at some point I just gave up about s5 and don’t worry, it would take a lot for fandom to scare me away and i’ll be back with my usual bullshit in 2 weeks with s6 clip by clip reactions ✌️ anyway, i was going through my archive while writing this to remind myself of what happened in each clip and what were mine and fandom’s reactions to it and somehow when I started writing this, it turned out I can’t stop and it got quite long so I'mputting it under read more:
So first of all may I just say that the trailer/firstclip was one of my favourite clips of all times. It was just SO GOOD and to meit was like a dream come true cause I was talking about dropping a clip andstarting a season on New Year since July AND THEY DID IT AND IT WAS E P I C,such a power move, I love it. Honestly everything worked there, the music wasamazing, it was so wonderful to see both squads partying together, it wasperfect, 11/10.
Then the season started and I absolutely loved thefirst two episodes, we really started to get into Arthur's head, to get to knowhim and his family, find out how insecure he is and how well he's hidingeverything from others, and Arthur and Alexia clips!!!! They worked so welltogether and were so cute and supportive, I said it back then that if they ruinthem I will never forgive them for that because what was the point of makingthem a couple in the first place?? I still don't understand that, I don't thinkI ever will... Fast forward to the first Wednesday of the season aka underwatermale gaze aka the moment I knew we're in for a ride and it won't be a goodone... When the clip started I was over the moon, I'm a swimming hoe myself andI loved that they used the pool for actual swimming, the cinematography wasbeautiful and I loved that they found a way to incorporate Lisa into the story.That was until Arthur dived and saw Noee... and sadly, this was the firstmoment I emotionally yeeted out from the season. Don't even get me started howwrong it was - 1. using the pool which is a sacred place in the show’smythology; 2. using piano music; 3. peak male gaze, objectifying Noee, andArthur staring at her even though HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND; they were setting it upas a love triangle from the beginning and after those 10+ weeks I still havethe same question about it as I had back then: why. It was also the first timefandom started to be hostile and the shipping war began, some people werecoming to my and my friends' inboxes, sending us anons to stop thinking theworse about Arthur, that love triangle will definitely not happen and thatDavid explained on his insta that they used the setting of pool in another waythan it was used in og s3... Well, jokes on you cause we were right. Anyway thatWednesday clip was to me the first red flag of the season, the first momentwhen some people started attacking others, when the fandom police started formingand suddenly you couldn't say anything because someone would jump on you andsend hate.
But I decided to let it slide, hoping that they reallywouldn't go there (spoiler alert: they did) and then we got Friday clips withelu housewarming (i'm still emo!!!) and Arthur losing his hearing permanently.It was absolutely heartbreaking to find out he lost hearing in his left ear 2years ago, it was a real game changer back then and suddenly everything changed- why he was looking at Alexia so intently, why he didn't cover his left ear atnye party, etc. I absolutely LOVED the way they handled the topic at thebeginning with Jerome explaining everything to Arthur and to us and I LOVED thepositive discourse it started within the fandom with deaf/hoh people teachingothers and explaining things without getting mad at silly questions - tbh to meit was one of the best parts of the first half of the season and I'm reallygrateful for it ❤️
Sunday clips with gang were one of my favourite in theseason, I think Arthur took us all by surprise when he went to elu's flat totell the guys that he can't hear and they were chaotic and supporting andamazing and wow, I really don't understand what the fuck happened and wherethey disappeared in the second half of the season. I loved that they hinted aturbex king Eliott and I kinda feel like that might come back in s6....... butanyway. The 7 amclips were absolutely one of the highlights of the season. They helped to buildsome sort of routine and Robin absolutely nailed them, I could feel howpowerless and more frustrated he was feeling AND I also felt betrayed that wedidn't get one on Thursday and Friday. Even though after the first pool clip Iwas dreading every single next clip there, I really liked that they were showingus that Arthur goes there every Wednesday, it really helped to get inside hishead and to understand him more and I kinda wish they hadn't stopped thatbecause it would be a really power move to keep showing that. Alexia in episode2 was just WOW, i can't believe there were people who were saying she andArthur don't have chemistry or that he should break up with her because she'snot supportive - well, she proved you all wrong. Too bad Arthur was too dumband self-absorbed to appreciate that.
BASILE/ARTHUR FRIENDSHIP. All their clips were solovely and heartwarming, I loved how different Basile was in Arthur's pov toBasile we knew at the beginning of s3; when he didn't want to leave Arthuruntil he said back that he loves him :'))) wholesome. I kinda wish we got tosee more of those two, they're definitely hanging out just the two of them andthat's what was lacking for me, those 3 or so clips of just the two of thembeing wholesome buddies were great but they were not enough.
The party clip on Thursday of ep2 was great, I lovedhow they're giving us little insights of deaf/hoh community and showing usArthur getting drawn to it. I wish that it wasn't overshadowed by love triangleand we got more of it, but I'll be back to it later...
Now, episode 3 and 4 were strong in the term of clipsbut those two weeks were incredibly boring when you were watching it in realtime. The breaks were too long, there were three clipless days each episodewith hardly any social media update and at times it made me forget about theshow completely. The bar clip in ep3 was great until they started sayingproblematic shit and tbh I was really starting to stress over Eliott then -first we got a hint that housewarming party was canceled because he wasn't feelingwell, now over a week later he's not feeling well again and Lucas' "he'smy boyfriend and i love him" was very cute and I loved it but it alsostarted to lead to misery porn and this dread didn't leave me until the end ofthe season and I'm still worried that it will play a part in s6 and it won't behandled well (disclaimer: this is not about the fact that they're talking aboutEliott's MI, it's about how Lucas started to act like a martyr and the way theystarted to show him acting almost like Lucille).
Episode 3 was also the time when I think it becameobvious that Arthur's short outburst of communication was gone and we'll haveto deal with next few weeks of miscommunication, sulking and hiding. Beginningof ep4 was another moment for me when I wanted to escape from this seasonbecause of the fandom police - they created as hostile atmosphere for the fanswatching in real time as druck stans did during s3, when you couldn't commentanything or say anything without other people jumping on you, calling you outand hating you, that for a moment again I was ready to give up on the show. Ireally wish I had done it.
As much as I liked stupid gang content in thecafeteria the whole clip was kinda odd and the 1,5 days break between the clipand laser tag was too much. I feel like the pacing in episode 4 really didn'twork in their favour and the clips could've been placed in another order sothat the breaks weren't so long. The laser tag was such a strong clip withbeautiful cinematography and colouring and it showed us Arthur's problems withsensory overload and again - I wish we could find out more about it because inthe end the clip was too short and cut abruptly only for Arthur to go to Noeeto see her dance in a scene that was pure male gaze, where the camera lingeredon her flat, bare stomach, a few times showing close up of her boobs. And yes.I am aware sing language is a bodily language. But the thing is that itcould've been shown differently, without so many objectifying shots, with Noeewearing different clothes, without Arthur staring at her with his jaw dropped.Arthur who - may i remind you - had a girlfriend at that time. I can watchgore, I can watch open surgeries, I can watch blood, and fight, and beating,and all that without the blink of the eye. i could barely watch the clip ofNoee dancing. I've never felt so sick after watching something in my life, Ihad to go offline for a few hours cause I was feeling so unwell. This was sucha fucked up scene to film in such a way, to objectify her, to use male gaze, touse piano music, slow motion, man looking at her in a predatory way, and thisscene was so wrong on so many levels itself but when you add to it the factthat Alexia NEVER got scenes like that and all her dancing scenes showed her basicallyas a quirky friend having fun at parties. And that's disgusting.
But let's move on to episode 5. I loved all the scenesin the asso, I loved that they showed Arthur actually going to LSF classes, Iloved how he confronted his father about it later. Though episode 5 was alsothe start of the boy squad becoming brainless idiots, lying to his friend,plotting behind his back, going to a concert without him. Episode of beautifulcinematography and skating scene that I watched trying not to think about thefact that Arthur is basically having a date with another girl while hisgirlfriend is studying for her bac, of an oblivious guy not wanting to stop itbefore it's too late and everyone's hearts will be broken.... I loved that hesnapped at the guys in the detention clip. I liked the following clip withAlexia, when they made her talk about her insecurities, showed us how strongshe is but also how fragile she is at the same time. But that Sunday of episode6 was the moment I ultimately realized I don't care any more about this season.It was already ruined for me. Alexia opening up, Alexia asking Arthur aboutNoee and him saying the worst ableist shit ever, Arthur breaking Noee'sheart... Those three clips made me realize that for me it's too late, thedamage is done, and I won't be able to enjoy this season for real. Alexia wasbound to get her heart broken, I was pitying Noee because it wasn't her fault aguy she had a crush on kept on leading her for weeks, and Arthur... I dislikedhim more and more and I just wanted it to be over.
I loved all clips with Laura and Melchior, the playfuldynamic in their interactions with Arthur was one of the best things of theseason and I can't stop but think that we could've had the same thing but withArthur, Noee, and Camille. Meanwhile Noee was reduced to manic pixie dreamgirl, a homewrecker, a plot device, and Camille was there only to translate(and later to be Mika's boyfriend). I really liked the clip with Noee andArthur reading her letter about cochlear implant, it was very informative andit was the kind of content I really wanted to see in this season. The onlything I hated about it - which was a recurring theme in clips with Noee... - isthat Arthur kept forgetting about Alexia and this was so unfair to her.
Now. The Valentine's Day. I loved the sourd datingclip, again, it was something that I wanted to see in the season and it was avery strong clip. But then the rest of the episode... I really wish it didn'texist. Jumping to the pool in clothes???? Arthur sharing his deepest trauma andNoee kissing him??? NOEE AND ARTHUR SHIPPERS JUMPING ON PEOPLE SAYING THAT SHEDID IT TO COMFORT HIM???? Sorry guys, I don't know about you but when myfriends are sharing something traumatizing to me I hug them or hold their hand,I don't kiss them with tongue. Also using a flashback??? It doesn’t go wellwith the show’s format, why was it even used???
Episode 8 was... Episode 8 was wild. And weird. Andstrange. And I don't really know what was the point of it. But despiteeverything crackfic farm au was at least entertaining and it was kind ofsomething we needed then after weeks of will they/won't they and hating Arthur.Whipped elu was everything, the fifi saga was hilarious and I rewatched itaround 50 times and it still makes me laugh - Maxence nailed it but ?? what wasthe point? they killed Eliott's bunny so that he would become vegetarian? Theywanted to traumatize him and cause him to have an episode that was cut in theend? (I really wouldn't be surprised, there are 2 clips missing from firstepisodes each, and probably more in the others). I really don't know what wasthe point. The 6h15 or sth clip was funny but if Lucas and Arthur hugging itout cause sorry bro / it's okay bro / bro / bro is what they're considering aproper apology then I'm sorry but it isn't. What's more, the pacing of thisepisode was incredibly off and the clips didn't add up and there wasn't anynatural flow to it - they should've madetwo clips on Sunday - with Arthur getting to the van and them arriving to thecountryside, two clips on Monday with 6 am and then Daphne and Basile, Fifitrilogy on Tuesday and then right after midnight on Wednesday Arthur and Alexiain the barn. Now, the cheating excusing convo... I was absolutelydisgusted by the boy squad and the fact that YANN who was cheated on in s1advised Arthur to not say anything... wow. Also I really don't like what Eliottsaid there, I understood it in that moment that he was mainly talking from aphilosophical pov that humans are never satisfied in general, but he was sayingthat during the cheating convo, right after he said that he cheated on his gfto get with his bf, he said it while Lucas was right there, knowing that he hasdeeply rooted abandonment issues and this is what made the situation worse. Ithink I'll talk more about the fandom reaction and team's comments later causethere will be a lot to unpack there so yeah, I'll leave it for now.
Because now let's move on to February 21, aka theFriday that changed everything. Can I just say that I have never seen a worseclip ever in my life? That wasn't skam. That was soap opera. And not even agood one. I can't even comprehend how they wrote THIS and thought it was good.I despise the choice of making Noee speak out loud with every fiber of mybeing. First they objectified her, reduced her to the plot device and 1/3 ofthe love triangle, and now they stripped her of her integrity for a guy who wasconstantly leading her on, who has a girlfiend. They made her so desperate tomake him stay with her that she lost a part of himself for him. And for who??For a guy who didn't give a fuck about her? Who constantly played with herfeelings? Who mocked her and her language and her culture and didn't do so onlywhen it was convenient for him? Honestly fuck him, fuck Arthur. And then A CARCRASHED INTO HIM LIKE ????????????? Someone please explain to me what was thepoint of that cause the only one I see was to provide a fandom with a greatfree entertainment.
Now, episodes 9 and 10 were overall much stronger thanthe past few weeks but it was already to late to salvage the season. We gotanother cheating apologists scene which was - again - absolutely disgusting,especially coming from Lucas - who gave Arthur the same advice he gave to Emma- and Yann - who was cheated on and knew from his own experience that stufflike that always come out in the end. It's like all their character developmentfrom previous seasons went down the drain. Arthur on the other hand seemed tohave a character regression with each passing week. I'm still appalled by whatLucas said - that Alex is their friend but Arthur is part of the gang. It wasdisgusting. And it was out of the character. And it was the worst possiblething that could've been said.
Coline's song was so beautiful and I was so happy thatArthur finally realized what he's lost, though I feel like all those intensestaring between Arthur and Noee was unnecessary again, it's like they couldn'tjust give us a break for one clip from them, it's like she was constantlystealing Alexia's moments, whether she was on screen at the time or not.
The clip with elu was sweet and gave us greatwholesome content, but it only confirmed that Lucas' abandonment issues woke upfrom their nap and I'm already dreading what they're planning to do with thatin s6, especially that according to the latest news Lucas is not very presentin the next season... The polyamory talk... It was odd. It felt force. Thebuildup to it wasn't done very well and what' more it was built on cheating.And that's doesn't bode well. It's also quite ridiculous how it took 1 minuteconversation with Lucas or even one sentence from him tbh for Arthur to go"oh yeah I'm poly. I think." and tell Noee that he loves her eventhough he spent the last couple of weeks denying that and pushing her away. IHATE that yet again they made her be so desperate and cry when he was tellingher this. That's not Noee they gave us in the first half of the season. Ireally liked the clip of Laura and Melchior and Arthur giving the presentationto the students but Arthur's grandiose speech to students and then to girls wasso strange, there wasn't any buildup to it, or more likely Arthur that we werehaving on screen from the end of ep 4 till the end of ep9 was gone and the oldArthur finally showed up. But nevertheless it was strange and not very fittingto the way how the story progressed.
NOW the last two clips - first was a little bit shortand I can't say I was a huge fan (though Eliott's kermit-like dance waseverything jdskjdkjjd) but the second clip was absolutely beautiful, we finallysaw Daphne talk, I'm still not sure what to think about Noee/Arthur (not reallya fan of how the story was resolved... or how it wasn't resolved), AND THEMURAL! LUCAS CRYING BECAUSE HE'S PROUD OF HIS BOYFRIEND! ELIOTT ONCE A YEARMAKING A MURAL OUT OF PURE LOVE! EVERYONE CRYING! ELIOTT NOT PAINTING HIMSELFBECAUSE HE DOESN'T CONSIDER HIMSELF PART OF THE SQUAD (although he is, I don'tknow why they don't understand it) and... Lola. But I guess I'll be back to itlater.
So now, I can't say I'm a fan of the season. I enjoyedsome of the clips, but overall it was a mess, love triangle and fandom and crewbehaviour ruined the season for me. I was absolutely disgusted but howprivileged fans acted on tumblr and on twitter. And yes. There are privilegedfans, fans who were shutting others up because they "don't want us to getour hopes up when we don't know what might happen", fans who were sayingthat "you don't know anything haha i can promise you don't know shit hahano i don't know anything and no i'm not jealous haha you just don't know buthaha tell me this oh how stupid you are", fans who were acting like afandom police all the freaking time, yelling at everyone to "wait and see!you don't know what will happen!". Well. We didn't. Because contrary to 5%of the "little ones-fans", the rest 95% is not privileged enough toget a special treatment, to be invited on set for filming, to know the detailsof the plot before the season airs, to know the bigger picture. It's not fair.If you really know everything then great, I'm happy for you, but let the otherswatch the show how they like, let them react to it clip by clip. Because mostof us don't know the bigger picture and don't know what will happen and how theissues will be resolved. And you are aware that the format of the show itselfencourages viewers to react to the events of the story as they resolve onscreen and through transmedia content, right? That's the essence of skam.Taking that away from the regular fans because you've been let in to some innercircle and know it all is absolutely disgusting. Don't interact with the fandomif you can't stand seeing people not agreeing with the writing choices,questioning what they watch and theorizing about what will happen. If you're soabove it, then just stick with the people like you, with those 5% or so ofknow-it-all and "enjoy" the show with them. Don't ruin the fun forothers. You're not better than anyone else. Don't act like it. Don't be ahypocrite. Don't act publicly as a fandom police, criticize everyone who sharesspoilers and call them out and write hateful posts, if you're doing the sameprivately, if you can't shut up when someone sends you a dm or a message offanon and suddenly you spill everything. Don't be fake. If you know stuff, thengreat, I don't know admit it and say that you want say anything or don't sayanything but then don't spread the spoilers and don't write cryptic comments inthe tags. It's not helping anyone and it's definitely not doing anything good.And to people on twitter currently posting what I guess they assume are vaguetweets about cast’s personal lives? Fuck you. You’re so loud, you know? Maybeyou think you’re talking in a special code only you and your friends can guessbut it’s so obvious and so disgusting, you really have no shame. Grow up andget a life.
Another thing that ruined the season for me was theway the crew was acting on twitter and instagram and I’m so so so disappointed by their behaviour,especially that I’ve always considered them as one of the most open-mindedteams who respect their fans and their opinions. Turns out they do that butonly when the reactions to the clips are positive. I mean, I kind of get it,obviously everyone wants to hear the praise, but you cannot ignore thenegative comments and fans’ concerns, especially that there were plenty of themthis season. And during social media age when it takes one click to see theliked posts or comments, it becomes obvious that the crew was only interacting (evenin such a passive way like liking comments or tweets) with fanswho were praising the show. All the negative comments and questions werebrushed off, saying that “the season will reveal its own truth” and that iffans will have any questions they will be answered after. Well, franklyspeaking, me and my friends have a list of questions that we’d love to get ananswer for:
- why was love triangle necessary?- why did they make Alexia and Arthur a couple in the first place if theywanted him to go after Noee?- why did Noee say she doesn't like talking out loud cause sign language is howshe communicates only to yell at Arthur to stop him from leaving, losing herintegrity for a guy who doesn't care about her?- car????????????????????????- cheating convos - why are they excusing it like that- treatment of Alexia & why did they include numerous comments about Alexia'sbody?- THE MALE GAZE - why did the camera focus so much on Noee's body, why was sheobjectified and why was she presented as a stark contrast to Alexia?- fifi?- p*trick and why the abuse was introduced so late in the plot and overshadowedimmediately by cheating and then followed by crackfic farm au?- why didn't we see any Arthur centered clips where he shows he likes art?- why did Arthur and space have no relevance in the season???- why are Lucas and Yann saying shit every time they open their mouths and whydid they forgot about everything that happened in s1?- the whole convo with the boy squad on valentine's day and how shitty theirreaction was - why?- why we didn't see any actual squad interactions on holidays and no realapologies?- why does the life of the characters always has to revolve around romanticrelationships?- why can't men and women be friends unless the man is gay?- what was the point of all the ship wars and skamlaserie photo withArthur/Alexia and Arthur/Noee *especially* after all the comments on twitterand on Instagram when fans were fighting already and it only made thingsescalate? Why not stop it, why pit fans against each other, why let it escalatelike that?- why draw parallels between elu and Arthur/Noee?- Why was Noee reduced to love interest and Camille to translator 90% of thetime and why don't give them similar dynamics with Arthur as Melchior and Laurahave?- how can Arthur see underwater?- Catherine - was she just a queerbait?- tuturo comment from the forum and Arthur's 'relationship' with 34 yo - whywasn’t it mentioned ever again?- how could noee not know arthur has a girlfriend since she was following himon instagram and he had photos with alexia there?- what happened with basile's birthday since they never celebrated them??- in samedi 11:04 (5x10) eliott says "i've got some croissants, do youwant me to heat them up?" which implies that he's already bought them andbrought them back to the flat BUT he's putting his jacket on as if he was aboutto leave and then he leaves and slams the door so what's the truth?
The crew completely invalidated the feelings andconcerns of the fans and what added fuel to the flame for me was thatskamlaserie post with Arthur/Noee/Alexia and caption that they can’t choosecause they love them both and… Honestly, who the hell works there. There’s beendrama for the whole week on twitter and under David’s posts on insta andinstead of finally end it, idk block the comments or just make a statement ORWHATEVER, they posted THAT on the official show’s account?? Why haven’t they stopped it? Why did they keep on pitting fans against each other up to the point that one twitter user started getting DEATH THREATS only because they translated some video??? Absolutely disgusting.@skamlaserie and @fr team: hate to break it to you but there's nothing wrong with being single andthere's plenty of teenagers who aren't in relationships in high school andthat's okay... maybe that's how Arthur should've started the season instead ofbecoming a cheater and leading on two girls at the same time just for the sakeof having unnecessary relationship drama which literally only created somepointless ship wars and put half of the fandom off watching the show... just saying.
Then, another things that rubbed me the wrong way werethe whole “canceling” discourse (that never really happened and I still standby what I said in the comments to this post so I’ll just direct you to it) and imposingthe one “right” interpretation on the fans - I specifically have the cheatingconvo from episode 8 in mind now. We all have a right to our owninterpretations of every scene, here many people saw it as Eliott’s commenthaving an effect on Lucas and his abandonment issues and started commenting onthat on twitter and David had to rush to explain that he hadn’t meant Lucas,that Eliott won’t cheat and that they won’t break up and will stay together.Well, the thing is that there’s such a concept as “the death of the author”which I suppose you can already guess from its name says that the author, theirbeliefs, backstory, opinions, etc. shouldn’t be taken into account wheninterpreting the text because writing (or in this case - a show) and creatorare separate entities and shouldn’t be correlated. First of all, thismetaphorical extinguishing of fire seemed pointless and like a mockery, seeinghow two episodes later it turned out people were right and Lucas really tookEliott’s comment personally and his insecurities and abandonment issues wereshowing up again; secondly, after that there were many comments from the crewabout how Elu will stay forever and never break up and maybe it’s just me but Ithink that was obvious, right? So why would they keep repeating that? Unless…something will happen in s6 that will make us doubt that and it’s a preemptive damagecontrol 🙃
So to sum up this monstrosity that I have no idea ifit even makes any sense BUT ANYWAY: I liked some of the things in s5 but overall Ireally really didn’t like it, some people in the fandom were incrediblyannoying and turned out to be fake and complete hypocrites, and the crew’s behaviour on socialmedia leaves a lot to be desired and I can only hope they will acknowledge anycriticism of s6 and won’t blatantly ignore fans’ criticism again. So that’d beit. If you read it till the end then you’re stronger than Sabrina giffingArthur getting hit by a car and I respect you for that cause even I haven’t reread it, have a nice quarantineand stay safe!
48 notes · View notes
thesunnyshow · 4 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
Name: Juliet
Writing Blog URL(s): @wonderlustlucas
Nationality: American
Languages: English, beginner level French, teeny tiny bit of Korean
Star Sign: Virgo
MBTI: ISFJ-T
Favorite color: Pastel yellow
Favorite food: My mom’s Sunday gravy
Favorite movie: Howl’s Moving Castle (The Lion King is a close second though)
Favorite ice cream flavor: Specifically Turkey Hill’s Double Dunker (get it— it’s so good)
Favorite animal: Humpback whale
Go-to karaoke song: She’s Kinda Hot by 5 Seconds of Summer
Dream job (whether you have a job or not): Neurosurgeon! Or a Twitch streamer HAHA
Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?  Ahhh probably coffee, I love tea but I need my coffee </3
If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Shapeshifting! Clearly the superior superpower I don’t take constructive criticism.
If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? This is weirdly specific, but I would love to be in Scotland during the 1700’s. Alternatively, the 1980’s.
If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? 100%. I know everything happens for a reason but getting a redo and being able to fix all the big mistakes I made would be pretty nice.
Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? One horse-sized chicken! 100 tiny horses would be crazy tiring.
If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? I would probably be the gay side character that gives good emotional advice but is hella lonely LMAO
Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Yes, both!
What are some small things that make your day better? Driving with the windows down and music blasting, picking up coffee, playing video games, & talking to my internet friends on Discord.
Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? I discovered my love for writing through Warrior Cats roleplay😭
What fandom(s) do you write for? Right now, only Kpop, but I wouldn’t mind writing for 5SOS or some of my other fandoms!
When did you post your first piece? On WattPad, December 2015. On Tumblr, April 2018 :)
Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? I write everything! Fluff/smut/crack is my favorite and slight angst (usually just slow burn though cus I’m soft).
Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? Again, I write anything and everything! Currently, second or third person reader inserts are my main style, but I also do ships and would love to write more OCs.
Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? Before Tumblr, I was on WattPad for different fandoms but eventually fell off. Then, when I got into Kpop in 2017, I found that urge to write again and decided to move to Tumblr since WattPad was becoming… weird. Plus Tumblr was a better fit for me!
What inspires you to write? To be completely honest, it’s the little things throughout the day that inspire me. For example, “Honey” was inspired by me not being able to open my locker in high school. “I Hemoglobin You” was based off my friend giving me a head rub while I was donating blood. Kpop idols just so happen to be my muses that I like to put into random moments of inspiration!
What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? High school or college AUs are my favorite, along with some good ol’ friends to lovers slow burn. Angst isn’t my forte so I usually just stick to fluff, smut, and some crack. I haven’t written any but fantasy AUs are some of my favorites too! (RIP to my League of Legends AU that I started and haven’t touched in months.)
What do you hope your readers take away from your work? Just like other fanfiction authors inspire me, I hope some of my work inspires others. Considering fanfiction is free, there is so much out there to read and when I find a good story that inspires ME to write better, I’d love for my writing to do the same.
What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? 3 options: 1) Skip that scene and jump ahead to one I’m excited to write; 2) Erase what part I’m on and completely redo it; or 3) Drop it. The majority of my works usually take a few months to write as I will completely stop working on it until I find the right inspiration again. 
What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? “Four” is definitely my favorite work. It’s one of my longer pieces and there was a lot of raw emotion in there on my end. I love the relationship between Hyunjin and the reader and especially love the ending. “Greatest Gift” for Chanyeol is my most successful, and one of my other favorites!
Who is your favorite person to write about? Easily Hwang Hyunjin. It’s so easy to place him in any of my works, and sometimes it’s a struggle to NOT write him. It sounds stupid but sometimes I really feel like I “know” him so being able to describe him physically and mentally is easy for me.
Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? Yes and no. Yes, because most of the time, fanfiction is totally original as well and requires just as much thought as a 400,000 word novel. No, because fanfiction uses a specific person as a muse.
What do you think makes a good story? Detail and realistic dialogue! Of course, everyone has their own style of writing, but detail is especially important to me. Sure, you can have a great plot, but having concise, detailed writing to get immersed into makes a story so much better. I also find realistic dialogue to be a big deal— I hate when teenage characters are speaking in deep analogies because, if we’re being honest, my daily language is 95% just “Bruh.” If you’re like me, I’d actually prefer realistic dialogue over anything else.
What is your writing process like? Process… yikes. Sometimes… I have a random thought and then I’m like… hell yeah let’s write that. I actually have no process. I don’t outline, I just start writing and keep writing until I’m finished. Then I’ll read it all over to make edits, then I’ll use the Read Aloud feature to catch any mistakes I missed, then I’ll run it through Grammarly before posting!
Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? Hm, maybe? In the future, possibly, but as of right now I wouldn’t use any of my fics to do so.
What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? Oh, gosh, tropes. Gotta love them. Friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, stuck together (AKA forced to share a bed), and fake relationships are my favorites. They may be corny, but I also love truth or dare or 7 minutes in heaven games in fics cus… they’re just classics. Also love fics with a popular x shy pairing. I can’t say I dislike many tropes, but I definitely have a love/hate relationship with vampire and werewolf tropes because of how romanticized they are.
How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? Hm, to be completely honest, only a little bit? I mainly write for myself, it’s like a guilty pleasure to just get all my thoughts and desires out, and then I just so happen to make it public on Tumblr. Nevertheless, receiving comments and asks actually make my day, and sometimes I still struggle to wrap my mind around people enjoying my writing! So, thank you to everyone who has ever left me a kind message, I truly appreciate it ♥
What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? Getting involved! I think one of the best ways to grow is to join networks, which not only gives you the opportunity to share your work on a greater scale, but also allows you to make connections. Like real life, making connections and making friendships with other writers can play a huge role in growing as a writer and growing your account.
Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? Yes :( As someone who’s involved with other fandoms, I’ve heard the way some people think of fanfiction and it’s really sad. People do not know how much goes into writing and just see it as cringey and disgusting when it’s just… not.
Do you think art can be a medium for change? Yes! In all its forms, art is something a creator can use to influence their audience (in a good way, hopefully).
Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? Like I said in #40, I mainly write for myself. Even when I’m writing a request, chances are if I like the request enough I’m going to create a story out of it that fits my personal desires the most.
Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?  No! However, I’d still consider myself a small account and do not have TOO many works posted. But so far, I don’t think I’ve faced this problem :)
Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? Only a few! My best friend Maggie is on Tumblr with me and only 2 of my other pals know I write fanfiction.
What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? How much I love each and every one of them for supporting me and sticking around even when I won’t post for months🥺❤️
Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? Don’t psych yourself out! In the time I’ve spent on Tumblr, I’ve never received any substantial hate. My main advice is don’t write fanfiction to get popular on the app, write fanfiction because you love to write and love your muses!
Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? No, as much as Tumblr can be annoying at times, I love the people I’ve met and the content I’ve found and wouldn’t have wanted to use any other platform.
Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? @pinktea99 — Mo, you’ve been around since the beginning honestly, and without you I wouldn’t have been able to come out of my shell! Thank you for all your love & support & for being my SF9 buddy❤️
Pick a quote to end your interview with: 
“Like mate, stop procrastinating.” — 3RACHA
BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL 
6 notes · View notes
judeloski · 4 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
💀  * [ ella purnell + demi female + she/her ] —— have you met judith ‘jude’ loski? they are a twenty-one year old junior currently studying fine arts. they live on farrow house, and word around campus is that this capricorn is creative + magnetic, as well as contradictory + morbid. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. a skull pattern stained onto fine china, flowers plucked too soon, red wine staining the seam of your lips.  [ ooc: pepper. twenty four. she/her & est. ]
ABOUT THE MUN.  hey baby, hey baby, hey baby, hey baby, here’s twenty dollars!
hello it is pepper again with my second muse because i have no self control. depending on whether or not i can handle this amount of muses i might drop one but for now i am hype!! i have had jude living rent free in my head for like ??? a year at least, and this is the first time i’ve gotten to play her so i’m living large! the entire inspiration behind her is inspired by my creative writing teacher in uni so this is a shout out to you jen i love you!! okay that is all. 
BIO.  kidnapping tw, death tw, child neglect tw. holiday candles that smell just like your years as a feral child in the forest!
i was gonna write a nice sexy bio but honestly my brain is offline rn so i don’t think that’s gonna happen, instead, welcome to these sexy bullet points. 
judith evianna loski was born approximately two minutes prior to her twin sister juliette elenora loski during a frightful blizzard in londan, england. while judith popped out of her mother kicking and screaming bloody murder from day one, moment one, juliette was a docile baby. she was so sweet and quiet that the doctor’s had to check her breathing more than once. while, of course jude made her presence, and her posession of a working set of lungs and killer set of vocal chords, known to everyone within a ten kilometre radius. let’s just say the loskis knew the difference between their daughters instantly. 
which was fine. jude and julie liked being different anyways. where jude was colour coded green, julie was colour coded blue. while julie was always thrilled at the prospect of a new dress or doll, jude was known for covering such gifts in mud or paint until they were utterly recognizable or suitably ruined. where julie was sweet, and quiet, and shy, jude could fill a room with just her presence, could make a friend in a sea of strangers. the fact was, jude always had what julie lacked, and for the most part vice versa. they fit together like two puzzle pieces, and they complimented each other perfectly. and despite their differences, both their parents adored them unconditionally, and equally for the first six years of their lives. 
which of course meant the girls were spoiled rotten. how could they not be? damon loski was an english gentleman coming from very old, very lucrative oil money. he ran his business like a hobby and yet the loskis still had more than enough money to buy an island or two, especially considering annette’s status. annette loski was a french photographer, and a talented one at that. her work was desperately sought after and world renowned for it’s beauty, and so in her own right, annette was more than well off. and thus, the twins were more than well off, and even if they couldn’t quite understand the concept of that yet, they definitely understood that they could have whatever they wanted just by asking for it. they understood that wherever they went they were to be accompanied by a nice man or woman who was supposed to keep them safe. and they understood that because of mummy and daddy’s jobs they weren’t allowed to play like the other kids did. but as young as jude and julie were they never truly understood why.
that was until three weeks after the girl’s sixth birthday. jude remembers the whole thing like it was yesterday. it was snowing that day and it was that thick puffy snow that made everything seem quiet, the kind that made it hard to see too far ahead on the path you were trekking. the loski twins had taken advantage of the weather to slip between the fingers of their caretaker for the first time and go to the local park. their escape with thrilling, a game of espionage turned reality and the two girls basked in their victory as they made snow angels and twirled and twirled in the snow. that was the day jude had set out to swing higher than she ever had before and demanded that julie watch. and her sweet sister, as submissive as she was, had never quite learned how to say no to jude. so while jude swung and swung and swung, julie stood and watched her from across the park by herself, eyes wide and innocent as she warmed up her numb fingers with her breath. until she wasn’t. alone that is. jude remembers spotting the woman approaching julie. she remember seeing them talking. she remembers the warm clouds her own breath made, almost in sync with the breaths huffing past her sisters lips, foggy up the air before her eyes and obscuring her view. she remembers julie taking the woman’s hand. she remembers the two of them moving to leave the park. and she will never forget that heart stopping moment of quiet, of confusion and fear as her swing slowly came to a stop. she remembers losing julie in the blur of the snow that day.
eventually the police found jude huddled under a tree a block away, still calling her sister’s name into that eerily quiet snow storm, blue lipped and half frozen to death as she shook like a leaf. jude came out of that experience with phemonia. julie didn’t come out of that experience at all. 
well, in all honesty there was no way for the loski’s to know that. after all, they never saw julie again. for all jude knew, her sister could be alive and well, living a new happy life where she had no memory of having a sister. where she had a family that was whole for no reason other than she doesn’t remember it falling apart, and where she loved and was loved in return. it was always so easy to love julie. so honestly, it was entirely possible. 
jude would like to believe that was true. even if in that scenario it would undoubtedly mean that jude got the short end of the stick. 
you see, after julie’s kidnapping anette and damon’s marriage fell to pieces over the years. the trauma of losing a child can do that to you, you know. during that time, as her parents bond splintered apart at the seams, jude remembers hearing her grandmother tell her mother to keep it together for jude. to stick out out for the child she had left. 
her mother left them both in the middle of the night without warning less than a week later. so, jude supposes she wasn’t quite enough to hold things together. 
jude might have been comforted by the fact that she still had her father if he could even look her in the eye. the fact was, jude looked exactly like julie and julie and jude were always both told they were dead ringers for their mother. jude was a physical reminder of literally everything her father had lost, and he didn’t take that quite well. suddenly damon’s hobby of a job became his life. anything to not be home with his ghost of a daughter. 
now the doom and gloom of all this might make it seem like jude took all this trauma and just got really down in the dumps about it. that would be incorrect. jude took that trauma, buried it very deep and only ever used it to fuel her art but otherwise completely ignored it altogether. there’s a difference. one option requires years of therapy and the other can be dealt with pretty easily with years of denial, even if you’re forced to go to therapy anyways because your twin sister was kidnapped in front of you and that kind of thing generally gets you a ticket to therapy for life. very different. 
jude isn’t sure if it was that trauma, her parents name, the fact that the news of her sister’s kidnapping was pretty spread all over europe for about a month, or even unlikely enough her talent that launched her art career, but something did. maybe it was a combination of everything. but either way, jude loski was able to find herself with her own small art gallery opening at the tender age of thirteen. and her success in the art world only grew from their, her art galleries and portfolio growing and growing until the point that jude was able to find herself with a place at holloway. and considering there wasn’t much left for her in england anyways, considering her father barely spoke to her and her mother was gone like the wind, jude decided to go. 
and that’s all i got for now, and also i’m tired but if you want to plot give this a like and i will slide into your dms.
HEADCANNONS.  *aggressively makes tea*
here is her pinterest board. 
do not call her judy,  
hates her birthday and hates snow storms understandably. is a big fan of rain though. particularly enjoys thunder storms. 
is allergic to bees but is super chill about it. had an allergic reaction when she was fourteen that her dad was too busy on a business call to notice was happening. the nanny ended up being the one to stab her with the epipen. 
has pretty bad nightmares and night terrors sometimes and hence generally likes to sleep when the sun is out if she sleeps at all. because of that she tends to seem pretty nocturnal. you can probably catch her at the library in the middle of the night. 
loves weird little knicknacks. like voodoo dolls and like shrunken heads or like other weird stuff you find in the corners of antique shops and stuff. her side of her dorm is probably full of them so rip to her roommate. 
really loves skulls and other modern kind of contradictory things on fine china. learnt to make the designs herself cause there isn’t nearly enough of them, but she just does it for herself as a hobby like she doesn’t sell them or anything. 
learnt to weld on a whim. catch jude in her dorm welding things to make sculptures out of metal. 
bisexual as hell theydies. 
spent a lot of her teenage years with her godmother but i’m too tired to get into that rn i might add to this later
loves poetry and novels, but likes the flowery shit yk, the stuff that makes you feel something. 
is a good student for the most part but is horrible in math and science. sits in on english and classics courses for fun though. 
is v english and therefore very particular about her tea. 
i do headcannon that julie is fine and okay and just living that finding carter life so if anyone was wondering yeah she’s out there somewhere and alive with a new kidnapper mom yk 
a bit witchy. the kind who washes her door in rosemary and sunwater because she believes in that kind of thing and doesn’t understand why people don’t. that said, she doesn’t believe in god even a little bit but she goes to church every sunday anyways just to admire the stained glass and ask very specific questions to spark debate. she also just genuinely likes the vibe of jesus. not god, but jesus, she’s cool with. 
unfortunately is a dirty smoker. smokes nicotine and weed. probably vapes. 
the type to quote poetry when she’s drunk or high. can be very annoying because she always thinks that she’s like transcended into another world. 
i have a feeling in my heart that she’s really bizarre and she was really bizarre as a child after losing julie. big lilo from lilo and stitch vibes yk. just weird and sentimental and lonely. 
has a pet rabbit named julius. 
doesn’t tend to talk about her dead missing sister so unless you think your muse would know about it she probably wouldn’t tell them i’m ngl 
as for personality i have no clue!!! this is my first time playing her so i’m gonna figure it out yk
WANTED CONNECTIONS. I kinda need a hug but I’d rather DIE than let anyone know I am a human being that desperately craves intimacy
CHILDHOOD FRIEND. please. they can be from anywhere okay i will make it work i live for childhood friend connections. 
ENEMIES. i mean why not 
BEST FRIENDS. again, pls.
CONFIDANTES. someone she trusts, we love to see it 
EXES. i have a feeling that jude is one of those ‘i’m gonna leave before you leave me’ kind of people, so she definitely could have self sabotaged this kind of thing
MUSE. self explanatory but consider this: please. 
CRUSH. jude has a crush on your muse or vice versa
FAMILY FRIEND. self explanatory, but it could be wild that’s all i’m saying. 
and other stuff ofc, but my brain is so tired y’all i have to knock out
7 notes · View notes