#nice. idk. like. i know i could ask but it feels fucking stupid. like we’ve agreed before that i am included always. like im their friend

[hairydykecunt]

i cant fet myself to do anything

[letstrywritingmaybe]

I’m requesting yet again for yall not to leave me comments, I don’t need them and I don’t even necessarily want them. Especially if you’re going to question me and I don’t know you. I don’t care to defend myself. I hate conversing through comments, yeah I know it’s a thing but I don’t like it. I prefer messaging on tumblr or even an ask.

My reputation as a Shinichi hater is alive and well. Good, cause it’s true and I won’t deny it. I’ve been trying to escape this ship for years now and I still haven’t. I’ve said a million times I’m just here for Shiho, give me a better option and I’ll jump ships in a heartbeat! I just can’t get over how cruel he was to her, and how he tried to get into her good graces by pretending to be nice. Plus the canon ship propaganda is so tiring. Sure recently we’ve gotten some stellar moments and I try to focus on that, but I just think my queen deserves better. She deserves someone who can and will love her loudly without making her feel like they settled. Yes his actions speak louder than his words and it’s clear he cares about her, but then I get stupid shit about the canon ship and I’m just like really? This again? Give me a reason to root for them! Or at the very least let my queen live and let her move on. I could care less about him. Everyone fucking loves him already, where’s the love for my queen? I swear most fics go on about how perfect he is and how she’s the problem and how much she needs him, miss me with that bs. I get that in canon, and I’m so over it.

Now excuse me while I continue to write CoAi fics that end happily

Update: while I’m here ranting on my blog. I truly don’t understand why we continue to romanticize the idea of him being an idiot and expecting them to be closer when he didn’t fucking ask or make things clear. The amount of times I’ve heard my irl peeps complain about not knowing where they stand with someone cause it was never clarified is annoying. I don’t want that in fiction too even if I do prefer things to be realistic! Either let my queen make a move and be like this is what I want with you or have him say the actual words to get them together! What’s with all this not knowing and not being on the same page even though you’re supposed to know each other best??? Idk man. I just find it ooc for her to be open with her feelings so I think he has to be the one to spell it out. But then I read this fic and I’m like it’s well written sure but why is it my queen’s fault that she thinks they would be better off apart? That’s very in character to me. And yes him having a problem with it also makes sense, but then to have him go around and play the victim and be like why don’t you understand me???? Like what???? Boy you fucking didn’t say shit! And okay sure you can say she avoided him cause she would, but then why wouldn’t he be clear when they have the actual convo like why make her guess? She’s going to second guess cause of course she would! And that just makes it a whole mess again! Cause now he’s upset with her and she doesn’t get it and he still isn’t being straightforward. It’s 2024, is it really that hard to get a real confession out of him? Must it be coerced like whatever bs happened with the canon ship? Does he really have to lose her to finally go after her?? Cause at that point I low key fucking wish he would. I just really freaking hate that it’s always her fault. Why the fuck is it always her fault for not catering to him? I’m so annoyed cause I like the writing style but it’s exhausting reading this bs. I want out of this fandom. I really want to be done. I care way too fucking much and it’s not healthy at all for me.

[realitycanbewhateveridesire]

I know asking people on here might be a stupid decision, but...

I need you guys to help me.

I need to preface this by saying that ik I fucked up and am probably (most definitely) in the wrong here.

(also it’s awkward talking about it and ik i’m probably exaggerating it, also idk anything about love or relationships cuz i’m a late bloomer and i’ve been sheltered my whole life)

So, basically:

During the lesbian apocalypse on tiktok, I (18f) started to chat with a girl on tiktok who’s a year younger than me. We’ve been mostly sharing funny and wholesome tiktoks between each other and also talking a bit. Over the course of over the month the tiktoks she sent me started to be more and more flirty. I was afraid to ask her about it, but I assumed it might be platonic so I kinda just mirrored her energy (idk how to explain it). Finally, a few days ago I asked her about it and she confessed she had a crush. I didn’t know how to react and I just went along with it. Although I found it strange that: a) someone could fall in love through chatting with someone b) that she did in such a short span of time (for me that month seemed like few days) c) that a person could even fall in love with me We started flirting and quickly became “online girlfriends”. But I still kinda felt someting wrong with the idea of me being with her. Don’t get me wrong, she is an amazing person, she’s adorable, kind and so nice, even when a person like me is not deserving of it. She’s better than anything I deserve and could ask for. I feel so bad for feeling like I’m not really attracted to her cuz she’s really a keeper. Tho at the other hand, I already feel attached to her. So, maybe I am a bit attracted to her? (Also, I am an asshole cuz my “lack of attraction” comes largely from fatphobia I think)

I believe that I also have some sort of anxiety issues and fear of abandonment. Which makes the matter worse. Cuz now, I don’t wanna drive her away. The way I feel like I drive everyone else away.

I also feel like such a bitch for hurting her, for hurting her feelings. And I don’t wanna hurt her feelings further. I’m afraid of being honest. Yet, I feel like I myself don’t know what’s my “real feelings” anymore.

Also I’ve taken some time alone from her to decide my feelings, yet I still feel I have not yet come to a conclusion and it frustrates me.

What should I do?

[theycalledmeboring]

Baby this is not working for me and idk why. I wanna be with you, I can’t stand the thought of you with someone else, but idk.

I hate that we don’t talk. I’m the kind of person who tells you every little thing that happens in my day and you know why I’m not like that with you? Cause you don’t care. You barely reply when I send more than one text in a row so it became pointless doing it. And that is really sad cause you never know what’s going on in my day. And I never know what’s going on in yours.

I’d come to the US now if I could cause I know everything would be so much easier, but I can’t. And I feel like if we can’t work it out, we’ll break.

I hate that we barely know each other. Like you don’t even have my number wtf? You don’t know anything about my school, my family, my friends, my mental health. And yeah partly is because I didn’t tell you, but partly is because I truly feel like you don’t give a fuck about it.

Like why do you even like me? We don’t fucking know each other and we’ve been saying “I love you”.

You know sometimes I think it’s stupid, it’s lame. Some people told me to just “keep you there, but act like you are not my bf”. I’m not like that. But I also don’t call you bf with my friends.

We’re something, we’re complicated, we’re not bf and gf. I just don’t know how I got myself into this. Like I’m such a complicated person, a weirdo who has such specific ideas on everything and here I am.

I said NEVER do long distance, but there’s you. I said there is NO relationship before at least one kiss, but there’s you. I said I didn’t want someone who didn’t give me fully what I wanted and expected from a bf, but there’s you.

Sometimes I don’t even know if I love you or if I just love the idea of being with someone. Sometimes I am so into you I think it’s unreal.

My life has been messed up pretty much since I was born, but it got way worse. Now it’s way way worse and you don’t even know it.

I get that is not your fault cause how the fuck would you know when I don’t say anything. BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU DONT CARE.

The only thing we talk about is “how was your day” nothing else except when I bring out some kind of problem.

Apparently I’m the fucking problem here.

But seriously how tf are we together. Don’t get me wrong, I mean it when I say I love you. But idk know.

I lied to you. About my first kiss, I almost gave it but never did. But the story and the guy, those were true. You just assumed I gave it I didn’t wanna say I didn’t. That’s stupid, I know.

There are so many things I wish I told you.

I hate when your not by my side. When you say “you should have studied”. When you get mad if I drink too much (but this one is okay). When you forget about things you said. When you don’t listen to my massages. I hate when you don’t put the “I” in “I love you”. I hate when you don’t say anything if I say “gn”. I hate you never say “goodnight”. I hate you never send pics of your face. I hate you don’t call. I hate I have no clue what you like and what you don’t about me. I hate you’re nice cause I can’t be mad at you. Sometimes I hate that I love you. And I hate that I feel empty when I put your hoodie in the washing machine. I hate you’re childish sometimes (like in a bad way). I hate that you don’t notice things about me.

I love that you’re nice. I love when you call me pretty. I love that you care about me. I used to love that you asked “day from 1/10”. I love holding your hand. I love when you make me blush. I love when you give me butterflies. I love that your jealous. I love that you work out. I love that you play soccer. I love that I can trust you. I love when you stay up late to talk to me. I love when you talk about things you like. I love that you get high (but be safe). I love your eyes. I love that you play innocent. I love that you think about the future. I love that you love me. I love that you stick with me even when I’m only bringing out problems. I love that you have a good relationship with your family. I love that you can drive.

They said they are better now as friends. I don’t wanna break up with you, but maybe it’s for the best? I hope not.

There was a point where I wished you’d break up with me. I honestly don’t know how you still wanna be with me. I also always feel bad after bringing out something. As if keeping it inside was better. As if everything was my fault and you don’t deserve to know it.

I don’t want you to feel bad. I am scared you’ll leave me.

I don’t know what to do Baby. I just really don’t know anything anymore.

I feel like I’m falling apart and I’m so sorry.

[theharrowing]

Entanglement

Namjoon is eager to finally lose his virginity and decides it would be wise if his best friend Yoongi helps him. He is totally not in love with Yoongi, or anything...

🌱 Namjoon x Yoongi 

🌱 word count: 10.9k

🌱 friends to lovers, virginity loss, smut, fluff, slash, nsfw, 18+

🌱 warnings: Namjoon is a virgin! top Yoongi, this is more or less porn without plot! but it's also very fluffy! switch Namjoon & switch Yoongi, anxiety (overthinking, some self doubt, spiraling), flirting, mutual pining, love confessions, making out, frotting, spit used as lube (actual lube is used too), rough blow job, first time giving blow job, cum eating, ass to mouth, anal fingering, anal sex, teasing, begging, degrading language (cockslut), praise, crying, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, tooth-rotting fluff.

🌱 written for the Namgi World Tour Fest!

🌱 shout out to @neoneunnajimin for beta reading and to @blog-name-idk​ for helping me come up with the name! thank you babes!

🌱 posted aug. 2022 | read on ao3

It's not a big deal. Namjoon knows it's not a big deal. Virginity is a social construct—it means nothing in the grand scheme of things. It is just something he has never felt comfortable exploring with someone, and that is perfectly okay because it's not a big deal. 

And it is not as if he hasn't explored his own body or watched porn before; he knows what feels good to an extent. He just doesn't know how to feel good at the hands of someone else and how to put his trust in another person. And that makes him spiral.

So, once again, here Namjoon is: at a shitty bar near his best friend Yoongi's place, two pitchers deep mumbling about how he should just lose his virginity already to a close friend, so he can stop dwelling on it. He feels pathetic. He feels like a sad sack standing against the high-top bar table while Yoongi sits perched on a stool, calmly listening to Namjoon blabber on about his insecurities with his pretty chin propped onto his pretty hands. 

"God, I feel...stupid," Namjoon admits with a sigh. He knows he sounds like a broken record at this point, but sometimes he just feels so burdened by the stigmas and assumptions that come along with being a virgin at his age, and everything culminates to moments like this, right here. 

"You once said you think you should just have sex with someone you trust to get it over with," Yoongi mutters after a long silence. "Is that still how you feel?"

Namjoon sighs once more, runs his hands through his dark, overgrown hair and squeezes his eyes closed. When he opens them again, Yoongi stares back, calm and patient. Always calm and always patient.

"Yeah, I mean...I don't really want to go through the motions of meeting someone new, going on dates, and all that. I have work to focus on, and it just seems like a lot of stress, you know?"

Yoongi nods. "Dating is a lot of stress."

"But, maybe it would be nice if I did it with someone like...like..." Like you, Namjoon almost says.

Someone kind and calm. Someone who already knows Namjoon, already understands his insecurities and even some of his desires. His gaze falls to the sticky bar table, and he struggles to figure out how to end that sentence.

"Someone like me?" Yoongi offers softly.

Namjoon's eyes widen, and he looks to his best friend, wondering if he is. joking. There is no hint of sarcasm or teasing in Yoongi's tone, but that doesn't stop Namjoon's stomach from going haywire.

"Wh—I-I mean, I guess maybe, if—"

Yoongi shrugs and mutters, "It's not a big deal, man. I would be happy to help you."

"That's—are you sure?" Namjoon asks, suddenly so flustered over the idea of fucking his best friend that he is unsure whether it really isn't a big deal, after all.

"I mean, we've been friends for like a decade, so it's not like you have anything to hide from me or be afraid of. I could make sure you're comfortable."

Namjoon gently sucks his bottom lip between his teeth, nodding his head as if in thought. In thought is too generous of a way to describe what goes on in his head, however, as any semblance of words swim and tumble, causing Namjoon to absolutely fucking panic. 

Pretty Yoongi with his pink-bitten lips and long, dark brown hair that falls around his ears in delicate wisps. Pretty Yoongi, who has no trouble finding someone equally pretty to take home with him on any given night, 

By some miracle, Namjoon opens his mouth and actually sounds fairly calm when he says, "That's true. I trust you." 

Yoongi seems to study Namjoon's face for a long moment, then, with a smirk, he rasps, "I'll take such good care of my Joonie bear."

This makes Namjoon sigh heavily and shake his head. This is not happening. This cannot possibly be happening. "Forget it. Forget it! Let's just call the whole thing off." 

Namjoon backs away from the table resolved to leave the bar and never look Yoongi in the eye again, but Yoongi scrambles off his stool and grabs Namjoon's sleeve, stopping him in his tracks. 

"Wait, wait. Not so fast, Joon." 

There is an earnestness in Yoongi's voice that makes Namjoon turn on his heel and look at his friend with an impatient sigh. Yoongi smiles softly, sweetly, causing something in Namjoon's tummy to swoop.

"I'm sorry, Namjoon," Yoongi mutters. "I don't mean to be so nonchalant. It's a big deal if you need it to be, and I am not going to make fun of you, okay? Let's go at your pace."

Namjoon shrugs, suddenly feeling silly for getting so worked up. "You're right. It doesn't need to be a big deal." He repeats the words to himself, almost as if willing them to be true.

Yoongi grins and tugs harder on Namjoon's sleeve, looking at him with wide, playful eyes. "Perfect! Then let's go fuck!"

"Wh—we can't just go fuck, are you insane?" Namjoon argues, possibly a little too loud, but he can't be bothered to care about anyone overhearing him when all he can focus on is pretty Yoongi and his devious words.

Yoongi sighs and nods his head. "You're right. There's too much to plan; we shouldn't just try to jump in. Plus, we've both been drinking, and I'm not sure how that makes you feel."

Everything swirls around, and Namjoon nods as if considering what Yoongi has just said, despite struggling to get up to speed. Then, all at once, it hits him.

"Plan? What is there to plan?"

With a smirk, Yoongi says, "Buy us one more pitcher, and we'll sort out all of the details."

Turns out, sorting out all of the details means having a pretty serious chat that makes Namjoon feel quite nervous and shy to have while at the bar. Yoongi is helpful, understanding and thorough, but all of it more or less overwhelms Namjoon to the point of him feeling dazed as he walks back to his apartment. 

Namjoon isn't sure if he wants to top or bottom, so they decided they will both get bottom ready just in case. Based on what Yoongi described, what that means is only eating foods that won't make him gassy, and getting some butt-safe products to clean himself out. Yoongi is regularly tested but will bring condoms just in case, and Namjoon is going to do some homework about anal prep and sex. 

Laying in bed with a head full of Yoongi and a body full of beer, Namjoon feels anxious. When his phone buzzes beside him, he startles and swears under his breath before groaning about how ridiculous he feels for being so jumpy.

Yoongi: Maybe you should try jerking off while thinking about me...

Namjoon stares at his phone, blinking heavily. Sometimes he can't believe how brazen Yoongi is, and it catches him completely off guard. He types, "Bold of you to assume I don't jerk off while thinking about you already," but then deletes it and stares a little longer before deciding he has nothing to say in response to that. 

Namjoon: Wow.

Although Namjoon can picture Yoongi's crooked smirk and the mirth that must be swirling in his eyes, he wishes he could see it firsthand.

Yoongi: I'm just saying…it might make the process easier if you train yourself to get a boner while thinking about me.

Namjoon: I don't think it'll be a problem, hyung.

Namjoon nibbles on his lip as he hits send, then drops his hand down to the bed, squeezing his eyes closed. There have been times in the past when it has seemed like Yoongi was flirting with him, but it's hard to tell with him sometimes, especially over text. 

Regardless of possible intent, Namjoon is always afraid of fucking it up. His crush on Yoongi is, and always has been, insurmountable, and it is important to Namjoon that he keeps their friendship intact. 

When his phone buzzes, Namjoon squeezes his eyes shut tighter and sighs. Then he opens them and lifts his phone. 

Yoongi: Go on…

Namjoon: Good night, hyung! Talk to you tomorrow!

Yoongi: Wow, you're just gonna blue ball me after I've offered to take your virginity??? Some friend you are!

Namjoon closes his eyes and lets his head thwack against the wall. There is enough beer in his system allow him to convince himself that Yoongi is probably not flirting and is just drunk. He is also intoxicated enough to concede that, yes, it would be a good idea to jerk off while thinking about his friend. Not that he has never done it before. 

 For several days, the conversation doesn't come back up. Namjoon gets on with his life, keeping his nose in his work, and Yoongi does the same. Everything is calm. Normal. Ideal.

But then their schedules line up, and they decide that they will do the deed the following evening. Namjoon goes to bed feeling so nervous and excited, he worries he might throw up. 

Yoongi: I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. Can't believe I get to fuck my best friend!

Namjoon's impulse is to respond, "It's too early for this shit," but it is just after 1 PM, and he is on his way home from the gym. He stopped along the way to pick up necessary items to prepare himself for later and is doing his best not to freak the fuck out. 

Namjoon: What time should we kick this thing off?

Yoongi: Kick this thing off? Really? You make it sound like we're tailgating a football game.

Namjoon: You're right, that wasn't very sexy of me.

Yoongi: Not even a little bit...

Namjoon: What time would you like to come stick appendages into one another's orifices?

Yoongi: Absolutely astounding to me that you haven't found another human being to jump your bones yet, Joonie!

Namjoon: Right???

Yoongi: 8?

Namjoon: Sure, see you at 8!

It is 7:53 PM when Yoongi knocks on Namjoon's apartment door. Namjoon is already stressed out, albeit feeling as prepared as one can under these circumstances, and he answers the door with a tremble in his hand. The warm smile that greets him melts away at least some of his trepidation, and he lets out a deep exhale as he steps aside and gestures for Yoongi to come in. 

"Not too often I see my Joonie so nervous," Yoongi drawls, sending goosebumps spreading over Namjoon's skin. There is a certain tone to Yoongi's voice that Namjoon rarely hears, and he thinks he would like to hear it a lot more. 

Namjoon must be staring, causing Yoongi to cock his head as if to beg a question. The feeling coursing through Namjoon is more than pure apprehension. He knows that he is attracted to Yoongi—and has been for years—but perhaps because of the anticipation of being more intimate with him, he has finding himself responding a lot more to subtle things. 

Subtle things like the way Yoongi's hair is pulled back behind his ears, exposing his forehead and the swell of his cheeks. Subtle things like the rich, dulcet tones of Yoongi's already deep voice—rough yet saccharine and something Namjoon wishes he could drown in. 

Namjoon blinks, swallows thickly, and shakes his head. He feels silly. But Yoongi stands patient and calm and doesn't regard him as if he should feel silly, despite his gentle teasing. With a shaky exhale, Namjoon feels his shoulders relax. It's not a big deal, he reminds himself. Yoongi will take good care of him; he knows that. 

"I brought soju in case you'd like to loosen up a little," Yoongi says, breaking a very thick albeit comfortable silence.

Namjoon nods and cracks a smile. "I think a little soju would be nice."

They manage to leave the entrance of Namjoon's apartment. Yoongi takes off his shoes and walks over to the couch, and Namjoon goes to his kitchen for two small cups before returning. 

Namjoon's apartment is quaint and cozy, with more books on surfaces than empty surface space. His plain but tasteful brown couch is large enough for two and a half people, and his table is a simple, cheap black wooden thing that came ready to easily assemble, with zero bells and not a single whistle. 

As Namjoon returns to the couch, he is acutely aware of just how shaky each breath is—both as it goes in and especially as it comes out. Yoongi unpacks a bottle of yogurt-flavored soju from the plastic bag that he has set on the floor beside the couch, and he shakes it up, tilting his body toward Namjoon on the cushions. 

Yoongi wears an oversized white tee and black basketball shorts, and Namjoon finds himself surprisingly more intrigued by his knobby knees than usual. When did Yoongi hyung get so cute?

Always, Namjoon reminds himself. He has always been this cute.

"I don't know why I'm so nervous," Namjoon admits, partially to himself as he adjusts on the sofa, pulling one leg onto the cushion to sit at an angle. Namjoon wears a black tee over grey joggers, and as the grey fabric brushes against Yoongi's knee, he seems to subconsciously inch closer. 

"I know why," Yoongi says, reaching for the glasses to fill them with soju. There is a musk that comes from Yoongi which is a little stronger than usual, and finds its way into Namjoon's senses, and he takes a deep inhale, suddenly feeling intoxicated before having a drop of alcohol. 

"Whether or not we admit that this is a big deal, in a sense, it is," Yoongi continues. With both glasses full, he hands one to Namjoon, but as Namjoon reaches for it, Yoongi doesn't let go. Instead, Yoongi makes stern, caring eye contact. "And if you psych yourself out so much you need to stop, we'll stop. Okay?"

"Oh—okay," Namjoon responds softly. 

With this, Yoongi smiles, allows Namjoon to have his cup and raises his for a toast. "To taking good care of my Joonie," he announces sweetly.

"You have to stop saying that," Namjoon grumbles, clicking his cup against the side of Yoongi's despite feeling embarrassed by his toast.

Yoongi raises an eyebrow and, with his drink to his lips, mutters, "Stop blushing so cutely whenever I do, and I'll consider your request."

Namjoon feels beside himself and pauses with his glass against his bottom lip. Yoongi so openly flirting with him has every inch of his skin feeling hot—has his heart pounding and his head spinning.

As soon as Namjoon takes the shot, the sweet liquor hits his tongue and spreads even more warmth throughout him. Feeling brazen from all the attention, Namjoon chuckles, shakes his head and says, "Shit, this is so bad for me."

Yoongi hums a question, and Namjoon raises his gaze to find his hyung smirking with an eyebrow cocked. He licks his lips then nibbles on the inside of his mouth, watching as Yoongi's eyes follow each movement. 

"You," Namjoon blurts, feeling his face warm with blush. "This. You're so…"

"Charming?" Yoongi supplies jokingly, only that's exactly it.

"Yes. Charming." This makes the apples of Yoongi's cheeks turn a pretty shade of blush, and Yoongi busies himself with pouring two more drinks. The tables have turned, and Namjoon cannot get enough. "When did hyung become so cute, hmm?"

"Please, Namjoon," Yoongi mutters, but his grin tells Namjoon that he enjoys it.

"Please, what? Continue? Cause I could do this all day."

Yoongi shakes his head and slides Namjoon's cup across the table to him, then sits back. Namjoon's mouth drops, and he can't help but chuckle at how adorably shy Yoongi is. This is a plot twist he was not anticipating. 

"To making my hyung so shy," Namjoon taunts as he holds up his cup. Yoongi gives Namjoon an incredulous grin as he raises his glass. "I had no idea you could blush so much."

"Shut up," Yoongi grumbles, holding his cup suspended as if to refuse the toast. 

"Like sakura petals," Namjoon continues, watching Yoongi's eyes widen. "So delicate and pretty."

Something in Yoongi's gaze sharpens, and he taps his glass to Namjoon's and quickly shoots the liquid back. Namjoon grins, feeling satisfied with his ability to make Yoongi squirm. 

As soon as the liquid passes Namjoon's lips, his cup is being yanked from his fingers, and Yoongi is advancing, straddling Namjoon as best as he can at such an awkward angle. Namjoon lifts Yoongi by the hips, adjusts so he is sitting forward on the couch, then lets himself get wrapped in Yoongi's limbs. 

Suddenly, Namjoon feels incapable of speaking as Yoongi's hands find his hair. He has to remind himself to breathe as Yoongi settles his weight on his lap. He must look as dumbfounded as he feels, and Yoongi cocks a playful grin. 

"You wanna play dirty, hmm?" Yoongi practically growls, speaking through his teeth. "Wanna sit here and call me pretty and compare me to flowers?"

"Y-yes."

Yoongi leans close—so close his breath ghosts over Namjoon's face. It is sticky-sweet and fills Namjoon's chest with warmth. "Show me."

"Wh—what?"

"Show me how pretty I am. Show me the way I make you feel."

Namjoon lifts his hands and settles them on Yoongi's waist, cinching his loose shirt. "How?"

"However you want to, Joonie."

Namjoon has kissed people before, so it shouldn't psyche him out, but as much as he wants to kiss Yoongi and show him exactly how he feels, he falters as soon as he inches his face closer. 

Yoongi leans in and rubs the tips of their noses together, and groans, "Don't be shy," and that is all the encouragement Namjoon needs. He closes the miniscule gap between them and captures Yoongi's soft bottom lip between his and sucks gently, pulling a deep gasp from Yoongi's throat. 

The fingers in Namjoon's hair tighten, tugging slightly, and Namjoon responds in kind, gripping firmly to Yoongi's waist. Rather than start slow and ease into it, Yoongi licks over Namjoon's lips and Namjoon gasps, giving him entrance. He moans as Yoongi's tongue rolls expertly over his, and his hands fall to Yoongi's thighs, gently squeezing. 

Kissing Yoongi is better than Namjoon could have imagined. His mouth is soft and inviting, and arousal flows through Namjoon and goes straight to his cock, which tents his pants, aching to be touched. 

"Fuck," Yoongi gasps, pulling from the kiss. His lips are spit-slick and pink, and Namjoon fights the urge to pull them back to his. "I knew kissing you would be good, but…god damn."

It takes a few seconds for Yoongi's words to settle over Namjoon, but as soon as they do, his gaze flies to Yoongi's eyes. "You what?"

Yoongi chuckles and rests his forehead against Namjoon's. There is a swelling of affection in Namjoon's chest that threatens to suffocate him, and he watches Yoongi's lips. 

"Come on," Yoongi mutters, "you can't tell me you've never wanted to kiss me."

"Of course I have, but..." Namjoon blinks rapidly and sucks on his lower lip. He is tempted to pinch himself; maybe he had fallen asleep earlier, and all of this has been a dream. 

"But?"

"But...well...why haven't we been kissing, then?"

Yoongi chuckles and sits back, tilting his head to the side. His hair has fallen from behind his ears, his cheeks and neck are flushed, and he looks devastatingly pretty. He shrugs as he mutters, "I wasn't sure you'd want to."

"You could have asked," Namjoon rebuts, knowing how ridiculous he sounds as he says it. 

"Yeah?" Yoongi challenges, raising his eyebrows. He leans in closer, turning his head to fit their noses beside one another and says, against Namjoon's lips, "I could have simply asked my best friend if he wanted to kiss me?"

Namjoon nods and hums, nipping at Yoongi's bottom lip. "Just like that," he groans as his mouth moves along Yoongi's jaw, making him shutter. "All this time, we could have been..."

Yoongi lets out a whine as Namjoon's lips find his pulse point. "But what if we started kissing and you felt pressured to do more?"

There is a sincerity in Yoongi's voice that makes Namjoon's movements falter. He smiles and inhales Yoongi's sweet natural musk. "I wouldn't have felt pressured. Or, more likely, I would have felt comfortable because it's you."

"Oh."

Namjoon can't help but laugh softly and fall back against the couch. He gazes at the ceiling before tilting his head to look at Yoongi, finding him with a soft but unreadable expression. 

"We are such idiots," Namjoon says with a slow shake of his head. 

"Elaborate."

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Namjoon starts, sitting forward and wrapping his arms around Yoongi. "We both have feelings for one another."

Yoongi scrunches his nose in mock disgust and pouts. "Please; who would have a crush on someone as beefy and adorable as you?"

A loud giggle leaves Namjoon's chest. "Beefy and adorable? Wow."

"Have I spoken a single lie on this day?" Yoongi challenges. 

There it is—the tingle of the alcohol settling in and making Namjoon lightheaded. Or, rather, more lightheaded than before. "I bet you've told no fewer than two lies on this day, hyung. But somehow, I can believe that you see me as both beefy and adorable."

"To be fair," Yoongi says as his hands fall to Namjoon's shoulders and rub down to his pecs, "I flirt with you. Openly. All the fucking time."

"Right, blame everything on the virgin, hyung."

There is still a tension that hangs between them, but Namjoon rather likes it. He likes the uncertainty and excitement that comes with having Yoongi on his lap. Until he said virgin, he had actually forgotten what they were doing in the first place, feeling so wrapped up in kissing Yoongi that the goal had been lost on him.

"You're right," Yoongi concedes. "We're both idiots. I should have kissed you ages ago. We have a lot of lost time to make up for."

Yoongi leans forward for a kiss that is deeper and needier than the last. Namjoon moans as his lips fall open, and Yoongi hums a sound of pleasure as he licks into his mouth. Namjoon's arms wrap around Yoongi tighter, and Yoongi rolls his hips, causing his and Namjoon's clothed cocks to rub together. 

A gasp leaves Namjoon's lips, and Yoongi releases the kiss with wide, worried eyes. "Shit," he mutters, "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to—"

"I liked it," Namjoon interrupts, pulling Yoongi's lips back to his in a desperate need to kiss and kiss and never stop. "Don't hold back, hyung."

"Wait, how mu—how much have you actually done?" Yoongi asks, panting against Namjoon's face as if he has just run laps around the apartment. 

Namjoon laughs, loving the effect he has on Yoongi. From this distance, all he can focus on is Yoongi's mouth. "The girl I dated in college would give me okay hand jobs and okayer blow jobs. I fingered her and ate her out. Obviously, I've masturbated."

"Obviously," Yoongi chuckles. "Only okay blow jobs, hmm?"

Namjoon hums and holds Yoongi close. Yoongi rolls his hips, deliberately rubbing their cocks together and forcing a moan from both of their throats. Namjoon can't believe how good he can feel from so little, and he craves more. 

"We'll change that," Yoongi groans into Namjoon's lips. "I'll make you dizzy with my mouth."

"You already are," Namjoon whines, commanding Yoongi's lips. He has had enough talking; he wants to taste and touch and feel. He wasn't sure what to expect tonight, but it definitely wasn't to be so wholly consumed by both desire and affection. 

Namjoon knew, going into this, that Yoongi would take good care of him and treat him like he is something special, but he did not anticipate the feeling of holding Yoongi and kissing him to ignite something so bright inside him. Yoongi has become oxygen, and Namjoon's blaze will surely die without getting its fill. 

Feeling as if he might burst without more, Namjoon groans, "Touch me, hyung. Please."

Yoongi's hands fall to the bottom hem of Namjoon's shirt and tug upward. Namjoon does his best to sit forward, unwrap himself from Yoongi and release the kiss just quick enough to get the pesky garment out of the way before hands and lips are back where they belong. Yoongi rubs his palms over Namjoon's nipples, forcing a groan from him as the throbbing in his pants grows.

"Is my Joonie sensitive?" Yoongi teases into his mouth. 

"Feels good."

Namjoon gathers Yoongi's shirt from the bottom and pulls it over his head, then runs his hands up and down the expanse of Yoongi's back. Yoongi leans in, pressing their bodies together, and Namjoon grabs Yoongi's ass in both hands, forcing his hips to roll and brush their cocks together. 

"Let's move to your bed?" Yoongi asks, and Namjoon takes a firm hold of Yoongi's thighs, scoots forward on the couch, and stands. 

Yoongi yelps and clings to him, and Namjoon can't help but chuckle as he swallows the sound and continues to kiss Yoongi while he makes the short walk to his bedroom. Feeling bold, Namjoon presses Yoongi into the wall, reveling in how Yoongi grinds himself against him, desperate for friction. There is undeniable chemistry between them that takes Namjoon's breath away.

"We're going to have a lot of fun, aren't we, hyung?" Namjoon asks somewhat teasingly. 

"Fuck," Yoongi moans. 

Namjoon backs from the wall, slams his back into his partially open door and then spins as he enters his room. He releases the kiss just long enough to look over Yoongi's shoulder and get him to the bed, then connects their lips once more as he turns and sits down on the edge. Yoongi's hands snake around Namjoon's shoulders, and he gives a firm push, laying him back against the mattress with his legs hanging off the edge. 

"Is there anything you don't want to do?" Yoongi asks as his lips travel to Namjoon's jaw.

"No," Namjoon pants. 

"If you need to slow down or stop, just say so. Okay?"

Namjoon nods, staring at his spackled off-white ceiling. "Of course, hyung. You too."

In one swift movement, Yoongi stands between Namjoon's legs and pulls his joggers and briefs down. "God damn," he mutters, and Namjoon looks to find Yoongi pushing his shorts and briefs to the floor while staring at Namjoon's cock. The attention makes Namjoon blush, but all feelings of shyness evaporate quickly at the sight of Yoongi's length—long, thick and dribbling at the tip. Namjoon has never had a cock in his mouth, and suddenly he wants it badly.

Yoongi places one knee on the bed and keeps his other leg between Namjoon's thighs. He isn't sure what to do with his hands as Yoongi hovers over him, but that doesn't matter because as soon as Yoongi bends and grabs both his and Namjoon's cock in one hand and thrusts, all time and space evaporate, and Namjoon falls limply against the bed, moaning deeply while drowning in a wave of pleasure. 

The dry slide of Yoongi's cock against Namjoon's fills him with a rush he has never felt before. Namjoon manages to make eye contact with Yoongi, enamored with the way his mouth hangs open and his brows knit from pleasure. Namjoon's eyelids flutter, but he does his best to watch as Yoongi unravels above him.

"Feels good," Namjoon manages to whimper. 

Yoongi rubs his palm and fingers over their cockheads and collects the dribbles of precum, sending Namjoon into another dimension with the next downstroke. He needs more. More lubricant, more stroking, more of Yoongi's body above his. 

"Spit," Namjoon suggests.

Yoongi's eyes widen, then he bends, drops their cocks, lifts his hand to his lips and spits. Namjoon wants to test the waters by praising Yoongi for being so obedient for him, but Yoongi grabs their cocks and rubs the spit along their lengths, and Namjoon doesn't find the words. 

Every nerve is on fire—every inch of Namjoon is ablaze. He had no idea something like this could feel so good; he never would have imagined doing this before. Namjoon's pleasure builds at an alarming rate, and he wonders if he might cum like this—if both of them might cum like this. But Yoongi gives them one long, slow tug before releasing both cocks and leans forward to capture Namjoon's lips once more. 

"Don't want to cum yet," Yoongi whimpers into Namjoon's mouth as if reading his mind. "I still need to give you a better than okay blow job."

"I said okayer," Namjoon clarifies against Yoongi's lips, making Yoongi chuckle that deep, pretty sound he likes. 

"I'll give you a blow job that is better than the okayest blow job you've ever had. Sound good, Joonie?"

Yoongi doesn't wait for Namjoon to respond before he slides down onto his knees on the floor. Namjoon scoots his ass to the edge of the bed and attempts to sit up, but Yoongi's hands on Namjoon's thighs move to grip his length and cradle his balls, making Namjoon fall back against the mattress. 

"So big," Yoongi groans, ghosting warm breath over Namjoon's cock. "I wonder if it will fit."

Namjoon has never had a complex about his big dick. He has never let the size get to his head, and when his ex commented about it, he never felt any kind of way, merely blushing and brushing it off. But this—pretty Yoongi holding onto him, groaning about whether or not he will fit—this does something to him. 

Maybe because he knows Yoongi is just teasing him to rile him up. Maybe because he wants to watch the look on Yoongi's face as he tries to sink his big cock deep inside him. Whatever the reason, Namjoon feels good. 

Yoongi slowly strokes Namjoon's length, sending tiny sparks of pleasure through him, and Namjoon manages to anchor himself onto his elbows so he can watch. Yoongi meets his gaze and, with a grin, sticks his tongue out to lick a firm stripe up his shaft. His tongue is wet and warm and feels heavenly as it swirls over the sensitive spot just under his cockhead, making Namjoon groan and shiver. 

"Ready, Joonie?" Yoongi purrs, to which Namjoon nods and mutters, "Please."

Yoongi continues to stroke Namjoon's length as he sits high on his knees and leans over his hips. His tongue flicks out over the tip and teases the slit, and Namjoon's hips jerk from the sensation. Then Yoongi swallows Namjoon's cock into his mouth—deep into his mouth—and Namjoon moans loudly, feeling his body tremble in response. 

Yoongi sucks eagerly. He strokes Namjoon's length in time with the bobbing of his head and and little hums of pleasure with each upstroke, making Namjoon dizzy. 

"So good," Namjoon mutters, feeling his body go limp. His arms give out, lying flat on his back as his eyes flutter closed. "F-fuck," he stammers as Yoongi sucks and licks and swallows him down. He feels overwhelmed and so, so ready to burst. Never has he felt so close to cuming in such little time. 

Yoongi moans around Namjoon's cock, sending vibrations that rock through him and settle in his guts. Namjoon raises one of his hands and tangles his fingers in Yoongi's soft, long hair as Yoongi slurps loudly and sucks Namjoon deep into his throat, swirling his tongue up his length. Namjoon isn't sure how much longer he will last, but he doesn't want to speak it into existence—he doesn't want this to end. 

The hand gently cradling Namjoon's balls squeezes ever so slightly, making Namjoon gasp. Then Yoongi rubs his thumb down, over his perineum, forcing a strong shutter to rock through him. Namjoon's grip on Yoongi's hair tightens, and his hips buck, forcing his cock deep into Yoongi's throat.

"Sh-shit, s-sorry, hyung," Namjoon stammers, loosening his grip.

Yoongi releases Namjoon's cock with a pop. "No, that's good," he mutters, voice raspier than before. "Fuck my throat until you cum."

Namjoon raises his head just enough to look at Yoongi to be sure he is not joking around. Yoongi smiles beside Namjoon's cock while his hand slowly strokes his length, and Namjoon feels his breath catch in his throat from the sight of him—dark, blown-out eyes and swollen, rosy, slick lips. Yoongi looks sinful, and Namjoon wants to catch those lips between his teeth and make him whimper more deep, pretty sounds. 

"Joonie," Yoongi groans with a raised eyebrow. "I gave you an instruction."

Namjoon scrambles to sit up on his elbows, and Yoongi releases his holds and sits back on his heels, creating an uncomfortable amount of distance between his pretty lips and Namjoon's body. Namjoon sits up all the way, scoots forward and reaches to take Yoongi by the hair.

"You sure, hyung?" he asks.

Yoongi grins and nods, lips hanging slack, and Namjoon leans forward and pulls him into a kiss. There is a faint hint of something on Yoongi's lips that must be the taste of Namjoon's skin, and he licks and sucks on his bottom lip, pulling sweet, deep sounds from his throat to swallow whole. Their kiss is sloppy and desperate—a gnash of teeth against teeth and a tangle of tongues. 

"You're so fucking pretty," Namjoon whines, catching his breath. "So fucking good to me. Holy shit."

"I would look prettier with your cock in my mouth," Yoongi groans, and Namjoon tightens his grip on Yoongi's hair, sits up straight and pulls Yoongi's head toward his tip.

Namjoon palms his shaft in his free hand and angles it toward Yoongi's eager mouth. "Open," he instructs, and Yoongi obeys with widened eyes, parting his lips and sticking his tongue out flat. Namjoon finds the right angle for Yoongi's head, lines his cock with his lips and pushes Yoongi down, down as far as it seems he can go. 

Yoongi rests his hands on Namjoon's thighs and sinks his cock even further into his throat until he lets out a soft gagging sound. Namjoon pulls Yoongi's head up, worried he may have hurt him, and finds his mouth and chin covered in drool. 

"More," Yoongi rasps. "I can take it. Give me more."

This time Namjoon sinks his cock into Yoongi's throat while driving his hips upward. Yoongi's hands fall from Namjoon's thighs to the edge of the bed, which he grips onto. Slowly, Namjoon begins to thrust in and out, and already it is too much. 

"I won't last, hyung," Namjoon whines as he picks up his pace. "Do I cum in your throat?"

Yoongi hums something muffled but emphatic and gives Namjoon a thumbs up.

With that, Namjoon bucks his hips. It is sloppy and a bit awkward, but he finds his rhythm, and soon he is fucking Yoongi's throat. Tears pool and run from Yoongi's eyes, and he sputters around Namjoon's length as he seems to be fighting the urge to gag and holy shit, this is going to be Namjoon's undoing—there is no way he is making it out of this alive. 

Yoongi keeps his eyes open, keeps his gaze on Namjoon, and Namjoon unravels so fast he can barely comprehend how everything feels until he is flung over the edge of pleasure. 

"F-fuck, gonna c—" is all Namjoon can manage before he is shooting his release into Yoongi's throat with a pitchy moan. 

Namjoon does his best not to thrust more into Yoongi's mouth, instead allowing his hips to rut in shallow bursts as his orgasm quakes through him. Yoongi swallows down every last drop eagerly, and when Namjoon finally pulls Yoongi's head off him, he is panting and overcome from pleasure and ready to curl into a ball and fall asleep. 

Yoongi grabs Namjoon's spent cock and strokes it, making Namjoon shake from a sudden burst of overstimulation. "Wanna make sure I got every drop," he whimpers as his tongue flicks out and presses into Namjoon's slit. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Namjoon sobs as he tugs on Yoongi's hair to make him stop. "Too much, baby, too much."

Yoongi stops all movement and stares at Namjoon, and suddenly, Namjoon realizes what he has done.

"Baby?" Yoongi asks, with a careen of his head. "Did you just—"

"It was an accident," Namjoon blurts, feeling anxiety crash over him.

Yoongi's lips tug into a playful smirk. "No it wasn't. You called me baby."

Namjoon isn't sure what to say, so he sits and waits for Yoongi's response. When Yoongi makes no move, Namjoon sits up, wraps his hands under Yoongi's armpits and pulls him up enough to make Yoongi hobble up onto his feet. 

"Did you like it?" Namjoon asks, feeling bold despite his uncertainty.

Like this, Yoongi's hard, pretty cock is right in Namjoon's face, and he takes it in one hand, leans forward and licks him from base to crown.

"Fuck," Yoongi whimpers, trembling in Namjoon's hold, leaving his question hanging in the air. "Have you done this before?"

Namjoon holds his tongue out flat and, with it pressed against the sensitive spot under Yoongi's cockhead, he shakes his head slowly, muttering, "Uh-uh."

Gently, Yoongi cradles Namjoon's head. Namjoon sucks the tip of Yoongi's cock into his mouth, closing his eyes to savor the heady mix of tangy and sweet. Yoongi gasps and moans, and Namjoon sucks a little more into his mouth. 

The stretch of Namjoon's lips around Yoongi's cock is a bit uncomfortable, but he loves the way it feels—loves how heavy Yoongi is on his tongue. He sucks Yoongi in a little further, touches the tip of to the back of his throat and gags. Panic surges through Namjoon, and Yoongi, too, apparently, as he pulls Namjoon's head away from him and strokes his hair and cheek. 

"Slow, Joonie," Yoongi purrs. "Don't push yourself."

Namjoon nods and pulls Yoongi closer, snaking his free hand around to grab Yoongi's ass and knead the soft flesh. Yoongi lets out a shattered breath which encourages Namjoon to continue as he wraps his lips around his cockhead once more.

Rather than try to take Yoongi deep into his throat, Namjoon strokes his length, matching each pass of his fist with each bob of his head. Yoongi's fingers tighten in Namjoon's hair, but he doesn't do anything to change the pace. 

"Fuck, just like that, Joonie; you're doing so good," Yoongi moans. 

Namjoon looks up through his lashes and watches as Yoongi's head lolls back and his tummy trembles. What a sight to behold.

"Can you suck your cheeks in?" Yoongi asks sweetly, and Namjoon does as he is asked, causing his lips to make a slurping sound. "That's it. So fucking good, Joonie. So perfect for me."

Yoongi's words sink into Namjoon and settle like warmth in his chest, and he speeds his movements, not sucking Yoongi any deeper but moving his head and hand much faster. Drool falls from his lips and lubricates beneath his hand, and Yoongi's hips begin to shake. 

It takes a while. Finding his pace, getting used to the uncomfortable stretch of his jaw, making Yoongi cum. It takes longer than he thinks it should take, considering how good it felt for Yoongi to give him head, but Namjoon knows he is no pro, and he figures maybe it takes Yoongi a bit longer to get off. Maybe Yoongi is used to better than okay blow jobs. 

But when Yoongi does announce he is going to cum, Namjoon has no idea what to expect. He wants to suck Yoongi's release into his throat and swallow him while milking his cock dry until he is begging him to stop, but he is scared to try that. What if he doesn't like it? 

So Namjoon pulls out, uses broad strokes on Yoongi's length and then squeezes the tip in an effort to let Yoongi's release collect onto his fist. Yoongi still holds onto Namjoon's head as he trembles and moans and lets his orgasm shudder through him, and when he is finally bent at the waist and begging for mercy, Namjoon slowly lets Yoongi's cock go. 

Yoongi pants and anchors himself up with his hands on Namjoon's shoulders. Tentatively, Namjoon leans forward, flicks his tongue out, and collects a bead of cum that has pooled at the tip. Yoongi moans, and his hips jerk, and Namjoon tastes him—thicker and more bitter than his precum was, but just as sweet. 

"I was worried I wouldn't like how you taste," Namjoon admits as he brings his fist to his lips. "But I do like it."

Namjoon holds Yoongi's gaze as he laps the cum off his hand, and Yoongi stares down at him as if awestruck by his actions.

"God damn," he mutters, making Namjoon smirk.

Once Namjoon's hand is clean and Yoongi has caught his breath, they sit side by side on the mattress. Yoongi wraps his arms around Namjoon's ribs and rests his head against him. 

"Are you good?" Yoongi asks. "Should we stop? Keep going?"

Namjoon turns, takes Yoongi gently by the jaw and pulls his lips to his. "Oh, I plan to fuck you tonight, baby," he groans before pulling Yoongi's lower lip between his teeth. 

Yoongi moans and seems to melt as they kiss languidly, letting their tongues push and pull in slow, delicate movements. 

"Better prep me then, Joonie."

Namjoon spent days reading various websites about the best technique, and he has used a finger on himself before, so he is somewhat aware of how this works, but it doesn't stop him from being nervous. Yoongi releases Namjoon from his grasp and crawls onto the bed, laying on his stomach, making Namjoon swoon over how soft and inviting he looks. When he catches Namjoon staring, he pokes his ass out and wiggles it. 

"I cannot express with words how badly I need you to fuck me," Yoongi pouts. "But only if you're ready, my Joonie."

Namjoon swallows thickly, feeling heat spread through him. "I'm ready," he says, half unconvinced by his own words but willing to talk himself through it. He wants to do this. He wants it more than anything. 

"I did a lot of research and I’ve used a finger on myself before, but I’m still kinda nervous. Let me know if you need me to slow down or stop," Namjoon says as he stands, reaches for a bottle of lube on his bedside table and then gets onto his knees on the bed. 

“Used a finger on yourself before, hmm?” Yoongi asks, watching as Namjoon returns to the center of the bed. “I would love to see that.”

Heat fills Namjoon’s cheeks as he wedges himself between Yoongi's thighs. As Yoongi spreads to accommodate him, Namjoon catches a glimpse of his rim—puckered and blush-brown and just as pretty as he imagined—and he sets the bottle of lube beside Yoongi, places both hands on his ass and spreads him wider. 

Yoongi gasps and, through what almost sounds like a nervous chuckle, asks, "Like what you see?"

A groan passes through Namjoon's chest, but it could be mistaken for a growl. Suddenly he feels ravenous, eager to taste as he leans forward and licks over Yoongi's hole. The tangy, sweet flavor on his tongue mixed with a loud moan from Yoongi's lips fill Namjoon with a desire he has never felt. Suddenly, he not only wants to fuck Yoongi, he needs it. 

Namjoon eats out Yoongi's ass like a man starved, spreading Yoongi's cheeks to dive his tongue in deep and stretch him around the muscle. Yoongi whimpers and moans, and the deeper Namjoon fucks his tongue into him, the sweeter the sounds he makes. 

With his tongue plunged in deep, Namjoon pats around blindly on the bed until his fingers grip onto the lube bottle. With his thumb, he flicks the cap open—he is proficient with using this bottle on-handed while scrolling for a video to watch—and he squirts some of the clear liquid straight onto Yoongi's asshole, coating his tongue. 

Yoongi wiggles and shouts, "What the fuck! That's cold!" causing Namjoon to chuckle. He doesn't care much for the taste of the lube, but he loves how messy it feels as his tongue squelches in and out of Yoongi. He rubs a finger over Yoongi's rim as he laps his tongue around. 

Slowly and gently, Namjoon stretches Yoongi around his fingers with plenty of lube and a lot of attention to the way Yoongi sounds, breathes, and trembles. This being his first time, Namjoon studies Yoongi like a delicate, beautiful puzzle that he slowly has to piece together—despite his goal to make Yoongi completely fall apart. Each time Yoongi takes in a sharp inhale or lets out a pitchy, broken moan, Namjoon slows or stills and gives him time to breathe and adjust. Yoongi whimpers and clenches around Namjoon when he is ready for more. 

"Your legs tremble so hard, hyung," Namjoon notes as Yoongi insists on more. 

"Th-that's fine, Joonie. They do that; just give me another finger."

Yoongi is insistent and vocal, and Namjoon watches with his mouth hung open, learning to play Yoongi by ear. After two, and three, and four fingers scissored and twisted and fucked into him every way imaginable, they deem him ready, and Yoongi fumbles to his knees, then pats the bed.

"I want to ride you, Joonie," Yoongi rasps. "Want to kiss you while I steal your precious virginity."

Namjoon can't help but grin as he grabs the bottle of lube and crawls to the head of the bed. Yoongi has moved his pillows to the side, and Namjoon winces as he settles and his back hits the cold wall. 

Yoongi climbs onto Namjoon's lap, straddles him with his thighs, and, as he wraps his arms over his shoulders, studies Namjoon's face with a sweet smile. 

"What is it, baby?" Namjoon asks, loving the way Yoongi's eyes widen from the nickname. 

Yoongi licks over his bottom lip and chuckles to himself. "It's…I don't want to say it."

Concern washes over Namjoon, and he lifts his hands to caress Yoongi's sides. "Whatever it is, hyung, I want to hear it."

"It just feels so…insincere to say while taking your virginity."

Namjoon rolls his eyes and pulls Yoongi close. He does his best to ignore the caress of their cocks against one another and focus on the possible tender moment, moving his hands to hold Yoongi's face less than an inch from his. 

"I just…you know I love you, right, Joonie?"

Butterflies swarm inside Namjoon, kicking up a storm that threatens to make him absolutely fucking vomit his guts out if he is not careful. He swallows a lump and smiles as he says, "Of course." Namjoon knows Yoongi is being sincere, even if all he means is that he loves him as a close friend. But there is a shine in Yoongi's eyes that suggests something more. 

"Also," Namjoon adds with a smirk, "virginity is a social construct, and it's not all that important to me in the grand scheme. I just…haven't felt a connection that I thought would be nice to have with the person I would do this with."

"So this is not all that important," Yoongi teases, pouting, "I see how it is."

Namjoon chuckles and pulls Yoongi's mouth to his, sucking his lower lip until Yoongi lets out a pleased sigh. "Everything about this has been important. I don't know if I'll be able to kiss someone else after knowing how your lips taste."

Blush fills Yoongi's pretty cheeks, and his face falls from playful to something more serious. "Shut up," he mutters.

"I mean it, baby. You're incredible."

Yoongi shakes his head and looks Namjoon in the eye. "Stop. Unless…unless you plan to hold me close and call me baby all the time, I need you to stop."

"Why wouldn't I, baby?" Namjoon challenges.

He pushes Yoongi's buttons, knowing full well that what Yoongi is trying to confess to is bigger than casual best friend love, and he wants to make him say it. Yoongi is so dreadfully stubborn about the silliest things, and Namjoon is not going to allow him to shy away from this.

"Sit on my cock and purr about how much you love me, then, baby," Namjoon says, surprising even himself. "Let me hear how pretty you sound taking my virginity."

Yoongi's face falls from surprise to intrigue before he squints at Namjoon, seeming to accept the challenge. "Gonna fuck you so good, Joonie," he rasps as he raises his hips and reaches for the lube bottle beside their legs. 

"I bet you'll make me feel incredible, won't you, baby?"

Yoongi slathers Namjoon's cock with the lube, then reaches between his legs and rubs some over his own hole. Namjoon rests his head against the wall, feeling his heart pound at a dizzying speed. 

With his ass lined up on Namjoon's cockhead, Yoongi uses his non-sticky hand to pull Namjoon's face close, slotting their lips together for a soft kiss. Namjoon flits his tongue out but can barely focus on anything but the warm, tight press of Yoongi's rim over the tip of his cock. 

Yoongi sinks down so slowly and steadily, and the feeling is so overbearing, Namjoon feels powerless to do anything but sit pretty and allow Yoongi to use him as he pleases. Yoongi moans and sobs into Namjoon's mouth, sucking harshly at his bottom lip, and Namjoon watches the blur of Yoongi's pretty face through fluttering eyelashes as he slowly works himself up and down to take his length. 

"Fuck," Yoongi cries, "you're so big what the fuck."

"S-sorry," Namjoon mutters, forcing a sharp laugh to burst from Yoongi's lungs. 

"That's not something you should apologize for, oh my god, it's incredible."

"Oh," is all Namjoon can say. Nothing makes sense to him, and Yoongi may as well be speaking an unfamiliar language. 

It is unclear to Namjoon whose hips are trembling the hardest, and as Yoongi fully seats himself on his cock, they fall into a puddle, Yoongi gasping and sucking marks into Namjoon's neck while Namjoon's head lolls side to side against the wall. Yoongi is tight and warm and squeezing him so hard, he worries his heart may actually stop beating. 

"Ready?" Yoongi rasps against Namjoon's skin.

Namjoon, in all his disoriented wonder, blurts, "Wh—there's more?"

Yoongi's giggle is bright and lovely. "I still have to fuck you, silly. Ready?"

"N—yeah. Yeah, yes. Fuck. Please fuck me."

With a roll of his hips, Yoongi lifts himself, and just that movement alone is enough to cause something inside Namjoon's brain to snap. It feels so good, so tight yet so slick, and Namjoon worries that he will cum in exactly two seconds flat.

As Yoongi lowers himself, Namjoon cries out, hardly recognizing the pitchy, strangled sound that crawls from his throat. Yoongi's head falls back, and he moans and trembles while his hands scramble to grab onto Namjoon's shoulders.

A roll of his hips up, a crash of his thighs down, over and over until Yoongi has a set, steady pace, and their voices create a grand euphony of lewd cries against the squelch of Yoongi's ass gripping Namjoon so deliciously.

"I'm gonna cum, baby," Namjoon whines as the pleasure begins to reach a new elevation. He is certain that it is too soon, but nothing has ever felt this good and his entire body is in panic mode.

"Touch me, Joonie," Yoongi cries. "Make me cum with you."

Namjoon spits into his palm and grabs Yoongi's cock, forcing a strained sob from Yoongi's chest that further tugs Namjoon up into the heights of arousal and pleasure. Namjoon hardly strokes Yoongi and instead allows Yoongi to fuck them both, down onto Namjoon's cock and up into his hand. 

Yoongi's fingers dig into Namjoon's shoulders as he moans and sobs, "Please, please, please," as his movements become sloppy. 

"Cum, baby," Namjoon moans, pulling Yoongi's face near. "I'm so close."

Yoongi is the first to cum, spraying his release onto Namjoon's stomach fist. The sounds Yoongi makes—gruff, legato notes of pleasure—would already be enough to make Namjoon follow quickly, but it is the fluttering of Yoongi's ass around Namjoon's length, squeezing the absolute fuck out of him, that shoots Namjoon into space. 

Namjoon hardly recognizes his voice—husky yet whiny—as he spills his release into Yoongi and shakes through his orgasm. Yoongi licks and sucks on his lips and tongue as if willing more sounds from him. Then, all at once, it is overwhelming and Namjoon begins to beg. "Too much, too much, baby, please."

Yoongi lifts his hips, dropping Namjoon's spent, heavy cock against his tummy, and pulls Namjoon into a sloppy, desperate kiss. Namjoon's head spins, twinkles as if full of stars, and he sits pliant as Yoongi kisses and touches and praises him for being so, so good. 

As soon as Namjoon feels capable of moving his limbs, he wraps his arms around Yoongi and flops them onto their sides in a crooked, lopsided configuration before pulling him in for another kiss. He wants to pour his heart out—wants to tell Yoongi that he has never loved anyone so deeply as he loves him—wants to tell Yoongi he is certain he may never love anyone the same again. 

Yoongi seems to gain a little more energy and begins to assault Namjoon's cheeks and neck with enthusiastic pecks, making loud, exaggerated kissing sounds. Namjoon can't help but chuckle and try to get Yoongi to stop, feeling somewhat claustrophobic by Yoongi's close, quick movements.

"God, that was…holy shit," Yoongi mutters into Namjoon's neck as he settles down. "I have never felt so—"

Namjoon notices Yoongi hesitate and gives him a tug around the ribs. "Never felt so, what?"

Yoongi shakes his head. "There will be time for that later. I need to fuck you, now."

A chuckle leaves Namjoon, and he struggles to catch up with what Yoongi is saying. "You just fucked me, hyung. You fucked me so good, I thought my heart might actually explode."

Yoongi flops down on his side and pulls Namjoon's face close. There is a darkness in his eyes that Namjoon is shocked he is still capable of; does Yoongi plan to keep going?

"I mean, if you want to call it a night, we can, but…I was hoping to stretch you and stuff you full of my cock…if you'd let me."

Yoongi pouts, and Namjoon shakes his head with a scoff. "Pouting is emotional manipulation, hyung."

"Alternatively," Yoongi grumbles with the raise of an eyebrow, "you could let me eat you out, and if you're feeling good about it, I'll stretch you and fuck you."

Namjoon can't deny wanting to know what it feels like to be eaten out, and—with a deep, exaggerated sigh—he concedes. 

"Alright. Fine. Only because I wanna know what that tongue feels like."

"Yeah?" Yoongi asks, grinning. 

"Yeah."

The giddiness that pours from Yoongi feels a bit disarming, and Namjoon allows Yoongi to roll him over onto his stomach and position him as he likes. He definitely feels shy about letting someone get eye-level with his asshole, but he did plunge his tongue into Yoongi without a second thought and tells himself that probably he has nothing to worry about. 

Yoongi's process is the same as Namjoon's, starting with an eager tongue against his hole. The wet warmth of Yoongi's muscle is beyond anything Namjoon could have imagined, and he fears once more that he may cum too soon. And just as Yoongi had predicted, Namjoon begins to whimper for more, becoming delirious with his desperation to be fucked. 

"Finger me, hyung," Namjoon begs while gripping to his pillow. It is not long until he is accustomed to the stretch and begging again, "Another finger, please, hyung, please." Finally, after three fingers, Namjoon is babbling nonsense, "Fuck me, please. Please, please, hyung, I need you to fuck me."

Yoongi goes slow and is gentle, and as he eases Namjoon into each new stretch, Namjoon feels simultaneously on the brink of death and more alive than he has felt in all his life. By the time he is certain he is ready, he is begging Yoongi as if his life depends on it. Yoongi makes Namjoon flip onto his back, and as he settles between his knees, lubing his cock, he happily agrees to give Namjoon what he wants.

"If it's too much, we'll stretch you more, okay?" Yoongi insists. 

Namjoon feels desperate, and he nods frantically, reaching his hands out for Yoongi. "Yes, sure, whatever, just fuck me, hyung, please."

Yoongi spreads Namjoon's thighs and gets between them, rubbing the tip of his cock against Namjoon's hole. The feeling is light but exciting, and Namjoon gasps and whines, desperate for more; he feels drunk from Yoongi's touch—dizzy and needy and on the edge of total mental collapse.

"Such a good little cockslut and you haven't even felt a cock, yet," Yoongi teases.

All Namjoon can do is groan and plead with his eyes. He likes the way Yoongi talks to him, but it is something he will have to unpack later.

As Yoongi begins gently breaching Namjoon's hole, everything in the room seems to evaporate, leaving just the two of them and nothing else in the world. "Please," Namjoon sobs, and Yoongi presses in a little deeper. 

It stings and feels so good, and Namjoon breathes through the slow, steady stretch, mentally telling himself to relax, relax, holy fuck, relax. It is a process to fit Yoongi inside him—a process to open for Yoongi and be so good for him. 

When Yoongi's hips still and he waits for Namjoon to adjust to the final stretch, Namjoon reaches for Yoongi and pulls him down, eager to feel the slot of their lips together. The movement makes Yoongi's cock sink even deeper, and they connect their lips between gasps and moans. 

"Fuck, baby, you feel incredible," Namjoon whines. "I don't know which is better. But this one makes me feel fucking drunk."

Yoongi chuckles against Namjoon's lips. "I'm so glad you like it, Joonie."

"Not like," Namjoon blurts. "Love. I love this. I love you. Fuck, baby, I love you so much."

It takes the shocked, wide-eyed look on Yoongi's face to pull Namjoon back to earth and realize what he has just said. He feels his face warm, but he doesn't let it deter him. 

"Stop looking so surprised, hyung," Namjoon mutters. He is adjusted to the stretch and begins to grind himself against Yoongi, feeling punch-drunk with love and desire. "We’ve already established that we both have feelings. Now fuck me."

Yoongi scoffs, shakes his head and stares at Namjoon as if, for once, he has nothing to say. They watch each other for a few long seconds until Yoongi pulls his hips back and snaps them forward, filling Namjoon with such a force it punches the air from his lungs with a pitchy sob.

“Too rough?” Yoongi asks with a smirk.

Namjoon shakes his head. He can tell from Yoongi's amused grin that there is a dopey look on his face as he catches his breath. The fullness and dull ache of the stretch are like thorny vines laced with venom, slicing through every inch of him in an ensnaring grip that pins him to the bed. It is intoxicating.

“No,” Namjoon breathes, “I want that again. Fuck me, baby, please.”

“Anything for my Joonie,” Yoongi growls as he pulls his hips back and snaps them forward again, this time not giving Namjoon a chance to catch his breath before doing it again. He can’t begin to comprehend the arousal that pools and rushes through him as Yoongi picks up a pace that is far rougher than he fucked himself onto Namjoon’s cock earlier. 

Sloppy consonants and vowels fall from Namjoon’s mouth, some half-formed words of praise and curses. Namjoon’s arms are spread against the comforter while Yoongi holds his thighs open, and he lets his eyes trail over Yoongi’s body—pale with sakura hints that he loves so much; lithe and thin yet muscular and wide—and he allows himself to get fully swept under by overwhelming bliss. 

“Joonie, are you crying?” Yoongi asks with a concerned gaze, and Namjoon lifts an arm and brushes his hand over his temple, finding it wet. All at once, it hits him how good and loved and cherished he feels, and he begins to sob. Yoongi’s hips slow, and Namjoon shakes his head. 

“Good cry, hyung. Please keep fucking me.”

Yoongi smiles and continues, slamming his hips into Namjoon so hard it makes Namjoon feel as if his soul might be slipping from his body. He wants this again and again. He wants this as much as Yoongi will give it to him. 

“Why is my Joonie crying?” Yoongi groans sweetly through his thrusts. 

“I just f-feel so…g-good. I feel love.”

“Are you gonna cum again, Joonie?”

Namjoon is going to cum again, and soon. He nods and attempts to lift his hands. “Kiss me.”

When Yoongi leans forward and angles his body to connect their lips, the sensation becomes even more intense, and Namjoon begins to feel as if he is hurtling toward the finish line. He squeals and pants, and the tears run and run from his eyes.

“Am I hitting your prostate, Joonie?” Yoongi teases against his lips.

“Y—ah—think so.”

Sweat beads on Yoongi’s skin, and Namjoon watches as he knits his brow and drives his cock in deep, precise movements. Although Namjoon’s cock bounces and slaps between his and Yoongi’s tummies, there is a lack of friction that Namjoon expects he would need in order to cum. But he doesn’t.

“Fuck, fu—hyung, holy fuck!” Namjoon sobs as orgasm rushes over him, grips him tight and yanks him down, plunged into depths of pleasure Namjoon didn’t know were possible. Yoongi captures each sound, sucks on Namjoon’s lip and praises Namjoon for being so good. 

“My perfect cockslut,” Yoongi groans. "So good for me."

Namjoon can’t tell if he’s teasing, but he doesn’t mind; he wants to be Yoongi’s cockslut. He wants to be anything Yoongi needs him to be. 

“I’m gonna cum, Joonie,” Yoongi groans.

“Please, please cum in me, baby.”

Yoongi’s back bows as his head flies back, mouth falling open as his hips stutter, and he fills Namjoon with his release. Yoongi rasps sounds that fall short of moans, guttural and rough around the edges, and Namjoon watches in awe as he pants and rides his high above him. He is still crying, and he sniffles as Yoongi finally looks down at him.

“Awe, you’re still crying, Joonie.” Yoongi says sweetly. He pulls out of Namjoon, leaving Namjoon to feel sticky and empty and satisfied. “Did you really confess to being in love with me while I was balls deep in you?”

Namjoon heavy-blinks, feeling warm tears streak his face. “Well, when you put it that way…”

“I didn’t want to confess to loving you like that while we were fucking,” Yoongi groans, scrunching his nose. He settles atop Namjoon, not flinching as his body makes contact with the cum slowly drying on Namjoon’s tummy. 

“Emotional manipulation,” Namjoon grumbles with a smile.

Yoongi chuckles and kisses along Namjoon’s clavicle. “Exactly. But I do…you know that, right?”

Namjoon hums in question, playing dumb; he wants Yoongi to admit it with his whole chest.

“Don’t hmm me, you brat,” Yoongi teases, burying his face into Namjoon’s neck.

“I want to hear you say it,” Namjoon confesses softly. 

Yoongi lifts his head and finds Namjoon’s gaze. He settles his lips against Namjoon’s chin and smiles. “I love you, Joonie. Like…a lot. I don’t want this to be the last time we do this.”

Namjoon feels a swell of affection and hugs Yoongi close. “This won’t be the last time. In fact, I need to hear you moan on a regular basis or I might die.”

Yoongi laughs. Everything feels surreal as they lay in each other’s arms, love-confessed and fucked out. The tears have stopped, but the strong squeeze of emotion grips Namjoon tight. He can’t believe fucking his best friend could turn into something like this.

“Let’s get into a shower,” Yoongi groans against Namjoon’s chin. “You may have lost your virginity, but I still need to teach you the art of fingering the cum out of your asshole so it doesn’t potentially irritate you later.”

All Namjoon can do is laugh at Yoongi's candor as he wills himself to move. "Such a thorough teacher," he teases. 

"Only the best for my Joonie," Yoongi responds with a grin as he sits up and holds his hand out.

Namjoon feels stuck in time, staring at Yoongi in awe of everything that has transpired. A lift of Yoongi's eyebrow pulls Namjoon from his reverie, and he takes Yoongi's hand, groaning as he gets up onto shaky legs and makes his way into his bathroom. 

They shower and giggle and kiss and Namjoon feels like he is standing on clouds—feels like nothing could ever be better than it is right now. He can't believe what a big deal everything actually turned out to be—just not for the reasons he expected. Being here like this in Yoongi's care, feeling sated and loved, is far bigger than anything he could have imagined.

sorry for the abrupt ending? sometimes i get too overwhelmed and my brain goes brrrrr and i can't continue anymore lmaoooo.

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[ereawrites]

Dick Grayson x Reader - Mania

this was requested by: anon

word count: 10.5k / rating explicit

a/n: sex pollen so auto dubcon (?), but both reader and dick are affected so idk

taglist: @daddyissuesmademe @idkmanicantenglish

It's your fault, really. You should never have got involved in the first place, but the temptation was just too great to resist. How could you pass up the opportunity to investigate Poison Ivy's pollen? This was the first decent sample any of you had ever managed to get - even Bruce, though you suspect there have been a few times he's managed to get up close and personal with the pollen - and normally Tim would handle it, but he's away on business with Bruce, and Damian's too young to deal with intensive research, and Jason just can't bring himself to care. So, that left Dick, and you could've left it at that. You should have. Then again, Tim did text you to recommend that you helped Dick: actually, you would never have left your room if it hadn't been for his intervention. It's Tim's fault.

The thing is, everything was fine at first; you've, perhaps, been harbouring the slightest crush on Dick for a while now, and it's always nice to spend time with him. He's fun to be around, even if his classic charm sometimes borders on teasing flirtation, and he's got such an incredible mind. You forget that, at times - he has a bad habit of putting himself down as the 'kind one' of the family, the emotional support or the comic relief, and he forgets to let himself be brilliant, too. He doesn't realise you've noticed that. Or maybe he does, but he doesn't say anything, and you've happily spent the past two hours studying Ivy's pollen together.

"It's definitely pheromonal, but I've never seen a chemical composition like this before-", you say, eyes glued to the computer screen. Dick is leaning over the back of your chair, one hand on your shoulder and one hand on the desk beside you, and you shouldn't feel as tense as you do. "-look, this section doesn't occur naturally in any species we've seen. She's synthesising these pheromones somehow, it's not like she's injecting them, but I just - I don't get how."

He pushes off from the desk, grabs the back of your chair, and spins you to face him with a half-smile. "I hate to break your train of thought, but I think we need a biochem specialist.", he says, and you suddenly notice how tired he looks: his eyes are still vibrant, warm, but exhausted. "We've done as much as we can on this, right? No shame in calling in the big guns."

"Tim?", you reply, knowingly, relishing in the way Dick's smile grows into a full grin. He's still gripping the edges of your chair, effectively caging you in: you are not looking at his arms, and you can be certain of this because you are looking very, very intently at his face.

"Having a genius brother has its perks, I know. I'll call him now. It's late in Tokyo - he won't be in a meeting, he'll probably just be awake in his hotel room, tapping away at his laptop.", Dick says, finally moving away to fetch his phone, and his voice trails off into a mumble that he clearly doesn't mean for you to hear. "God, he worries me. He really does."

It's much too warm in here: you sigh, and shrug off your jacket, slinging it over the back of the computer chair before calling out,"You're such a mother hen sometimes, Dick."

"I care. Sue me.", he replies with a faux scowl. "You don't complain when you're ill and I bring you hot soup."

"You're a good cook, what can I say?"

"Husband material!", he chirps. You feel your stomach leap and your cheeks heat up at his words. He's only teasing, but the truth of it is, it has more effect on you than you would like to admit. Thankfully, he's quickly distracted by the crackle of Tim picking up the phone. "Timmy! How's things?"

Tim's voice is dry, as always, but with a noticeable undercurrent of frustration. "Shit. I hate it here."

"Hey, Tim. Bad day?", you say with sympathy. You feel a little bad for bothering him, now; as hard as everyone in the family works, Tim definitely pushes himself the hardest.

"I'm the youngest person here by at least twenty years, and my stomach can't handle sushi. Plus, Bruce gets separation anxiety from the rest of you. The one upside is that I've been able to practice my Japanese.", Tim replies. You feel bad for him, of course, but the image of him having to comfort a homesick Bruce has you suppressing a snicker.

Dick shoots an amused smile at you - he's too beautiful when he smiles, it isn't fair - that starkly contrasts the comforting tone he uses to respond to Tim. "Don't worry, darling brother - I've got something exciting for you! Check your emails - wait, only the most recent one, though, I sent you a link to a Red Hood fanpage-"

You interject with an accusatory wave of your finger. "Why the fuck didn't you send me that? Red Hood is sexy." If Jason were here, he would probably threaten to shoot you, but as it is, Dick's amusement only grows. His smile is so infectious, like it spirals out into the air and right into your chest, and you can't help but smile back at him. You don't know if it's the warmth of the room or simply from Dick himself, but you feel as though you're going to need to step outside for some fresh air soon.

"Because of your raging crush on Nightwing, probably." Tim cuts in, and you could fucking kill him. Dick gives you a pleased wink. "I'm looking at a pheromonal compound, right? Ivy's special formula?"

You muster as much venom into your voice as you can, without pissing Tim off so much that he leaves you to deal with this on your own. "Fuck you, Tim - and yeah. It's a newer version, though - I think she's evolving, if that makes sense? Her physiology is definitely changing." Tim gives a thoughtful hum in response to your words: you imagine it's in agreement.

Dick continues your train of thought. "We think she's working with someone else, or she's been experimenting on herself, maybe. Do you have any ideas about how she's making the new chemicals?"

"I'll need a few hours. Send me all the data over. You're right about it evolving, though - it's definitely airborne. Shit, this is actually really interesting - the molecules are more compact, smaller, so she doesn't need to rely on physical touch through her plants anymore-"

The rest of Tim's words are lost to a wave of horror. Airborne, he said - you'd doubt it if it wasn't for the similar shock that's written over Dick's face - and you have not been treating this sample as airborne. Ivy has always relied on physical, tangible contact to use her chemicals: you couldn't have known, there was no way you could've known, neither of you are experts on this kind of thing - you've fucked up.

"Airborne? How... airborne are we talking? Like, don't-sniff-the-test-tube?", Dick asks, cautiously, maintaining eye contact with you all the while. *Please, God, let it be don't-sniff-the-test-tube and nothing more than that. Please.*

"Shit, you haven't been wearing respirators - have you?". Tim sounds positively horrified. It does nothing to allay your fears, the worries that you've both been infected with Ivy's pollen; in fact, he all but confirms it. Everything is beginning to fall into place now. The tension around Dick - more so than usual, at least -, how warm you're feeling, the mental sluggishness that had you calling Tim in the first place.

You're angry at yourself, for your own stupidity - not Tim, but you're panicked, you're so unbelievably freaked out, and so you can't help but snap at the phone. "How were we meant to know, man? Ivy's never even hinted at having something of this level before!"

"You're working with chemicals, unknown chemicals, I hate-"

Dick cuts in before this can turn into a full-on confrontation. You've got no idea how he's managing to keep a level head. Perhaps the pheromones are already taking a more severe effect, or maybe it's a placebo effect, and you pray that it is, but you can already feel your heart beginning to pound against the confines of your chest. "It's just pheromones, right? We know it's not toxic, at least - Ivy's victims only take a few days to come around, at most. They're just kinda fucked up for a few days."

You admire Dick so, so much. He's right, he's always right, he always manages to keep you calm and make you feel safe: you'll just have to stay with him, and you'll be okay. If you stay here, he can comfort you, and maybe the impacts of the pollen won't even be that bad. And, if they are, well, there's no one else in the manor tonight, and Dick's so handsome and kind and strong, and maybe he'll - fuck.

Tim snickers. "Fucked, indeed. Only when Ivy's in a good mood, though. You guys better get ready for a tough night. I've heard it can get really bad, especially if you're deprived of - oh, fuck, I can't talk about this, this is too funny but it's so weird, oh my god-", and he dissolves into a fit of awkward, stunted laughter. Dick fixes you with an apologetic look, but you swear his golden cheeks are tinged with red.

"How long until it kicks in?", he asks. It's a stupid, stupid question, because you feel like you're close to dying already. You know what he means, though: when will it get bad? You've seen Ivy's victims before. They're entirely without dignity, practically begging to be touched, sobbing from the pain of it all - and you've only heard rumours about the depraved things they let Ivy do to them. What they ask her to do to them.

The huff of Tim's breath crackles through the phone. "Uh - I don't know, maybe an hour? A little less, since Bruce never opens the windows in there. Just seal the sample up, drink plenty of water, and try not to freak out. It'll pass. You won't die."

///

You thought you could do it - stay in your room, deal with this alone, avoid any potential awkwardness with Dick -but you can't. It's barely been an hour. Sixty-seven minutes since you left the cave, to be exact. Sixty-seven minutes since Dick grabbed you by the waist to halt your speedy departure, touch light but insistent, and said if you need anything, come to me. His eyes were dark when he said it. Deep, dark blue, an ocean that you could get lost swimming in; but pupils already dilating, breath already speeding up. He meant it as nothing more than a kindness. Still, though, that hasn't been enough to stop you from coming onto your fingers with the image of those eyes burned onto the backs of your eyelids.

Ivy's pollen is designed to induce lust, yes, but only for the first person you see after you're infected with it. This means two things: firstly, that you need Dick more than anything right now. Your head is pounding, your lungs feel like they're on fire - the sensation between your legs isn't aching, it's agony, and you've spent fifty-two of the past sixty-seven minutes trying, and failing, to fool your body into believing that your fingers are his. The first thing you know, is that you need him, because you saw him right after you were infected. The second thing you know - there was no one else in that room. You were the only person Dick could have seen.

So, stupidly, you seek him out. You go back down to the cave, without even taking the time to wash your hands, because that's what your body is telling you to do, and you're acting more and more on instinct. Potential awkwardness be damned. He'll fix this.

Dick's facing away from you, reclined in the computer chair: his posture seems almost relaxed, just almost, legs sprawled out and left elbow visibly sticking out from around the back of the chair, like he's got one hand close to his head. You'd assume he was still looking at the computer, if you weren't so hyperaware of everything right now, but you are, and you notice more. From what you can see of his body - it's low-blue-lit from the computer screen, enough that you can make out the muscle of his legs through his sweatpants if you squint, but it's not enough, you need to see more - he seems tense. Too tense. Normally, you'd sneak closer, but your head is practically spinning now and Dick will help you. He'll make this better. Your voice is hoarse and dry when you manage to call his name.

He immediately jolts in his seat, spinning to face you, and now that he's backlit by the computer, you can barely see more than the outline of his body. God, he looks so lean, so tall - "Are you okay?", he asks, and he sounds almost as bad as you feel. You swallow thickly before responding - and, through the fog in your head, you realise that your jacket is clutched in his left hand.

You, miraculously, manage a weak smile. "I just - I thought maybe it would, you know, be better to... be together, during this. In case - if one of us needs help, or something. I don't know.". You sound stupid. Dumb. You feel it, too, and you can't even bring yourself to care. The mere sight of him is helping: it doesn't remove the pain, or any of the physical sensations, really, but at least the panic of not being near him is being soothed.

"That's - yeah, okay. How are you feeling?", Dick replies. His voice is barely more than a whisper, but you hear it as clear as if he were right up against you. Chest pressed to your back, lips on the curve of your jaw, that voice going right through you and into the pits of your stomach.

It's wrong, to think of him like this, when all he's doing is trying to check that you're alright. He knows you aren't, but he's trying.

The best thing you can think to do is make a weak attempt at a joke. "I've got a newfound fear of Ivy." Dick even huffs out a laugh, but it's just as half-hearted as your words. "I didn't think it was going to be this bad at first, Jesus - but it keeps getting worse, and, it just-"

"-it hurts. I know.". Dick nods. As you take a step closer to him, you realise that your eyes have finally adjusted to the relative darkness of the cave, and you realise that you can see his cock straining against his sweatpants. He's hard. What's more, there's a distinct wet patch leaking through the material.

When you entered the cave, you couldn't see one of his hands; the chair wasn't moving enough for him to be stroking himself, and you're not sure whether you're glad he wasn't, but now that you think of it, there was definite movement. Like he was palming himself through his sweatpants, maybe. And the hand that was close to his head, it's clutching your jacket, he was holding your jacket close to his face while he-

"Dick - were you...?"

He sighs, halfway between embarrassed and resigned, and sinks back down into the computer chair. He keeps your jacket clenched in a white-knuckle grip. "I had to take the edge off somehow, right? I'm sorry, I didn't think you would be coming back down here, I never meant to make you uncomfortable or anything-"

"I'm not uncomfortable.", you blurt out before you know what you're saying. Dick's expression visibly shifts - you don't have the mental clarity to figure out into what, exactly - but you can feel your own eyes widen as you process  the implications of what you just said. "Oh, fuck - I didn't mean it like that, I - sorry."

Dick just shakes his head. He must mean for you not to worry. You stand in silence for a while, not exactly awkward but certainly thick with tension, before he pats a hand onto the desk beside him. "God, this is worse than I thought. Do you wanna come sit down?"

Do you? Although being closer to Dick sounds like the only thing you want in the world right now - god, you can't help but think about how good he would look, if you were close enough to really study him, now that you're beyond giving a fuck about etiquette - you're also acutely aware of how difficult it'll be to control yourself. Undeniably, you want him. You've wanted him for months, really - but the pollen has taken that desire and multiplied it tenfold, made it so that it's all-consuming and painful. In your room, nothing more than imagining him, it was bad enough. Now, now that you can see his fucking cock, now that the image of him rubbing himself with a blissed-out look on his face, it's almost impossible to control.

You move to sit next to him. You can't help yourself. Once you start moving, you feel like it's all in slow-motion: Dick's watching you, dark eyes trained so closely on your form, and you're wearing nothing more than a tight-fitting pair of leggings and a thin t-shirt. After what feels like an age - too long to be apart from him - you reach the desk, and upon clumsily perching yourself on it, you see Dick looking as though he's about to pass out.

"Fuck, did I - did I do something wrong? I'm sorry-", you say hastily, but he instantly shakes his head and trains his eyes on yours. The blue is nearly gone. It's all blown-out pupils now, so much that his eyes are nearly black.

He licks his lips as if to wet them. "-no, no, but - when you were in your room - when you were alone - did you do anything to take the edge off? Did you touch yourself?"

You could say no, if you wanted to. You could lie. He would know, but he wouldn't press it, and you could save yourself the shame. For all that Dick must be struggling just as much as you are, he's exceedingly kind, so much that no amount of fucked-up drugs could change that: he's still your Dick, underneath all of this.

"Yeah.", you admit after a heartbeat, and your stomach lurches when you see his cock twitch through the sweatpants. Still, you're embarrassed, and you feel the need to explain yourself just a little. "It felt like my skin was on fire unless I did. It still feels like that, though - like it just wasn't enough, I guess."

"I can smell it on you.", Dick says lowly. Oh, God. That's hot. That's so, unbelievably hot - especially when you see his cock twitch again - but absolutely mortifying. You're torn between wanting to jump on him, right here and now, and retreating back to your room. You compromise by burying your face in your hands, and letting out a pathetic whine to signal how fucked-up you are right now. Maybe you can calm down, now that you don't feel on the verge of a panic attack from being away from him, if you take a few deep breaths.

Naturally, Dick hardly gives you the chance. You feel his hand come to rest on your knee out of nowhere; it's a gentle touch, but you can feel him trembling, and the touch sends a bolt of electricity through you that's strong enough to make you jolt. "I want to help you. The whole point of these pheromones is to make it so that you need touch - it only hurts because we're not getting that. So, I can-", he says raspily, punctuating the pause with a reassuring squeeze to your lower thigh, "-touch you, just... platonically, if that's what you want. What you need."

His voice drops down an octave with the last sentence - you whine again, involuntarily, but you just about manage to turn the sound into words.

"Dick, you don't have to - we can just push through this, I know it'll be uncomfortable for you - I mean, I know it's not like we haven't hugged and stuff before, but this is different, I don't want you to feel forced because you feel bad for me."

Dick must lean forward, closer to you, because his palm slides further up your thigh. The pain that prickles insistently under your skin is beginning to turn into fiery heat: not unpleasant, but desperate, hot, and you're starting to feel like you're not going to be able to stop if he asks you to touch him. "I don't feel bad for you.", he insists, reaching up with his free hand to peel your hands away from your eyes. He curls his fingers around yours as he continues. "I just want to make you feel better - both of us feel better. See, it's already helping, right? Just relax. This is bad enough as it is."

His thumb starts to trace circles on the inside of your thigh. It's nowhere near high enough to be considered sexual, but the movement has your legs almost trembling. You wonder if he can feel the tension of your muscles. "It's... it doesn't hurt anymore. Thank you.". And, technically, you're not lying: it doesn't hurt, in fact it feels fucking incredible. You spent fifty-two minutes trying to replicate this sensation. He's only touching your thigh, it has no business feeling this good, but each little beat of his thumb has waves of pleasure crashing through you. God, how good would it feel to fuck him like this? You're shaking, and you know it, and it only makes him tug you by the hand to stand up.

Even the loss of his touch on your thigh feels devastating, but Dick's next words are more comfort than you could have imagined possible. "Here. Come sit, if you want.", he says - whispering again, voice so low and so deep, but it's just the effects of the pollen, you tell yourself - and gestures to his thigh. "You can lean back into me, don't worry, it'll be better for your back."

This has to feel as good for him as it does for you. Logically, it has to. You've both breathed in the same pollen, his skin has the same sheen of sweat that you can feel on your own skin, you're both trembling in every part of your body, and he's still rock hard. You can feel yourself leaking, god, enough that it might have dampened your leggings and left a wet spot on the desk. What would Dick do, if he saw that? He's clearly turned on, but maybe he still has the good sense to avoid fucking: maybe his view of you as 'just platonic' is so deeply ingrained, he would never touch you down there to feel how wet he's made you. Or, maybe he wants you like you want him.

"Are - are you sure?", you stammer. You can't stop looking at his lap. His cock, painfully obvious (and he mustn't care, because he blatantly drew your attention to it), and the corded muscle of his thighs, spread out straight to form you a perch.

"Mhmm...", he hums from somewhere deep in his chest, and suddenly you're grateful that he's still holding your hand, because the sound almost makes your knees buckle. He tugs gently. "Only if you want to be close to me, though."

He says that like an afterthought - like he knows exactly what you want, and like he's hungry for your touch and doesn't want to consider the idea that you don't want to give him it. You can't bring yourself to look at him before you move to sit in his lap, because you know he'll see the desire, and for now, you're still pretending that you don't want to push him down in that chair and ride him for hours. He'd like that, you think. He'd like it if you pulled his hair while you did it.

Dick lets go of your hand so he can take your waist in both hands, guiding you down onto his lap and gripping harder when your ass inadvertently brushes over his cock. You don't mean to do it, of course, and you jump like you've been shocked: you shuffle further down his thigh to avoid another mishap, but the movement causes your pussy to just barely drag against the hard muscle - you hardly manage to control your moan, forced to sink your teeth into your lip. Thankfully, Dick doesn't seem to notice, and he helps you lean back so his chest is pressed to your back, before lifting his arms to rest on the armrests. From here, he begins to rub soothing lines up and down your arms, and he tips his cheek down to rest against your shoulder with a relieved sigh.

"Fuck, that... yeah, that feels better.", you practically gasp. Feeling him pressed up against the entire length of your body, as torturous as it is, is the most relief you've gained all evening; his legs are shaking just enough that you can feel it in your core, though, and you're forced to tilt your head back to rest on his shoulder. You'll lose your fucking mind if you don't start to relax, he's right.

With your neck exposed, though, you can feel Dick's hot breath tickling your skin when he speaks. "Good, right? It feels good?". For the first time, you really hear the tension in his voice. So much so that you can't pass it off as your own projections, or a trick of his tone - he's just as desperate as you are, holy shit, he sounds halfway to begging, he sounds like he's dying to know that his touch is making you feel good. Your hips twitch of their own accord.

"Yeah... Dick?", you whisper after a few moments. He nods in response against your shoulder, a slow, dragging movement that feels like honey dripping through your veins from the point of contact. "Are you really warm, too, or like - is that just me? I - I feel like I'm burning up... Do you mind if I..." - you trail off, instead opting to tug cautiously at the hem of your shirt.

He sucks in a deep, rapid breath that you feel press against your back. For a moment, you worry that you've gone too far - it feels so good, but it's too weird, too strange for him even now - but then he slowly curls his fingers around the hem, replacing your own hands, and starts to pull upwards at a torturous pace. His knuckles drag over your lower abdomen for just a second and your hips twitch again, and he definitely felt it this time but he says nothing, and his breathing is warm and fast against the skin of your neck; with the shirt discarded, you're left in nothing more than a thin bra. Although the room feels warm, furnace-hot, you're all too aware of the blatant hardness of your nipples, and you tell yourself it's okay, he won't notice, because you're facing away and he won't - his palm drags against your breast on the way back down and it feels so good, too good, and you can't help but whimper, "Fuck, yes-"

Three things happen in quick succession. Dick freezes, you realise what you've done and move to jump up and run for the hills, and then Dick grabs your hips and pulls you back into him, right over his cock, this time. The friction makes both of you let out a breathy sigh, but where you clap a hand over your mouth, Dick follows it up with a hoarse proposition. "I can touch you properly, if you want. It'll make all this go away, I promise - do you want me to?", he rasps, pressing one, quick kiss to the skin where your neck meets your shoulder. "Do you want me to touch you?"

His grasp on your hips is tight, wanting, but gentle enough that you know he wouldn't stop you if you tried to leave again. When you make no move to do so - you're frozen, you can't believe he's just offered to do what your body is screaming for - Dick pulls at your hips, slowly, dragging your ass over his cock and then pushing you back down. He repeats the motion a few times, rolling his own hips up into you a little more with each motion, and soon your muscles start to work so you can grind down onto him. Dick rewards you with a quiet moan - oh, you want him to do that again, you're going to make him do that again, louder and louder - and then, with a touch so light you could cry, he traces one hand over your hipbones and down to your pussy.

One finger traces your slit through your leggings, and you hear yourself moan, but you're hardly aware of making the noise - just this simple touch feels almost as good as the orgasm you had earlier, even just this feather-light pressure through two layers of fabric, and every nerve ending in your body sets alight at once. This is what you needed, more than anything, for Dick to touch you and drag you down onto his cock, and you're so overwhelmed that every muscle in your body goes lax, leaving you to collapse into his chest.

Dick rubs gently at your pussy a few more times, like he's exploring you, and then suddenly he taps right where your clit is. You cry out, and he sighs against your neck. "God, I can feel how wet you are already. You should have told me, I would've done something sooner, you know that - fuck, you're so wet, let me - let me finger you, huh? Please?"

"Yeah - please, Dick.", you whine, and when you say his name, he moans and shoves his cock up against you again. He mumbles something into your skin that you don't quite make out, and then his hand is fumbling with your waistband, clumsily slipping into your underwear and then he's there, his fingers are brushing right against your clit, you sob out a broken cry - you're so wet that his fingers brush right through your folds, gliding like silk, and by the time he reaches your hole, two fingers easily sink in right to the knuckle.

Your pussy instantly clenches down, hard, and you feel more full than you thought could be possible. Dick moans into the skin of your neck and gives you a moment to calm down, to soothe the desperate jolting of your hips, before he starts to pump his fingers; slowly, at first, but soon picking up into a faster and more urgent pace. With each movement, he scissors his fingers a little, spreading you wider every time, and he starts to mouth at your neck with hot, wet kisses. "Do you like that, yeah? Am I making you feel good? Is this what you need?"

You fling an arm behind you to grasp at his hair, and when you tug after a particularly delicious curl of his fingers, he bites down hard onto your shoulder. "Fuck, yes, yes - please don't stop, please, Dick, don't stop-"

"I'm not going to stop, don't worry, I've got you - I'm here, I'm not gonna stop, you sound too pretty for me to stop, fuck - I knew you would sound pretty, keep making those noises for me."

Your body feels like it's going through the most intense orgasm of your life, especially now that he's given up on pumping his fingers in favour of curling them in rapid beats against your g-spot, but you know that you're not even coming yet: you're close, though, judging by the way the room is spinning around you, and the pressure building in the pit of your stomach - "I think I'm close, Dick, - oh, oh, oh my god, I don't - it's never felt like this before, I don't - fuck-"

"I know, I know, baby-", he croons, and the pet name has you tugging at his hair again, the other hand white-knuckled on the armrest, "-it's okay, it's gonna feel different - it's gonna feel better, I promise, it's going to be so good, I'm going to get you there, baby, come on."

"Fuck - fucking - Jesus, Dick, keep going, just like that-!", you all but shout, and Dick continues the massaging movement right up on your g-spot: the positioning of his hand means the heel of his palm is dragging over your clit, and your hips are frantically grinding up into his hand - god, you're gonna come, the world feels like it's crashing down around you, you feel the contractions start a few seconds before it actually hits you and it's going to be earth-shattering, you know it, every muscle in your body tenses up and through it all you hear Dick whispering, come on, that's it, I've got you, come on, come on, and then you're coming-

Distantly, you can feel his fingers continue their movements inside of you, unrelenting - and the other hand keeps a firm grip on your hips, grounding you onto his lap - but other than that, all you know is the white-flash across your vision and the pleasure slamming into each nerve in your body, one by one and then all at once: this is better than anything you've ever felt, better than every orgasm put together, and it feels feels for a moment like you're actually going to black out from the sheer intensity of the pleasure.

Then, suddenly, you're back in reality. Dick is heaving for breath against your shoulder, but it's nothing compared to the way your own lungs are screaming for air - god, you think you were screaming, given the scratching sensation in your throat - and his fingers are back to a slow, steady pumping, in and out of your swollen pussy. It hurts, a little, but this one orgasm has done nothing to sate your desperate hunger: in fact, it's only made it worse, only increased your desire for him, and you swear his cock is impossibly harder against your ass now.

"You - you're dripping onto my hand, baby, oh my god...", Dick pants, and there's a heartbeat where neither of you move - then, you feel his breath hitch, and suddenly his other hand is shoving unceremoniously under your waistband and going straight for your clit. He picks up the pace with the two fingers still inside you, matching each curl with a flick over your clit, and the motions are all so frenzied, those of a man possessed with some ravenous desire, like his one purpose is to have you writhing in his lap, and you give a wordless cry - too overcome with blinding pleasure to actually make a sound - that allows you to hear his ragged words. "Please, give me another one, one more - I want to make you squirt this time, it's going to be so good, I promise, just give me one more, pretty girl-"

This time, it's not just one wave of pleasure, spreading from your core and emanating outwards; no, it's wave after wave after wave, violently crashing over you and completely overcoming every part of your body, unrelenting and constant - this one lasts at least twice as long as the last, but you're hardly in the right state of mind to keep track of time, and every wave of pleasure that rushes through you is tenfold stronger than the last. You hear yourself shriek his name in the most pathetic, broken tone, and Dick cages you in against his body as best as he can as he keeps both hands working at your pussy, and you realise you're sobbing when he finally, finally stops.

When his fingers slip out of your pussy and exit your leggings, they're dripping wet. Dick audibly gasps, and then he brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks, moaning around the digits, and through hazy eyes you can see the most fucked-out look on his face just at the taste of your cum. He licks his fingers clean - you feel your pussy clench down again at the sight - before opening his eyes, fixing you with an intense stare, and panting, "You taste so fucking good - baby, I'm not going to be able to stop, I'm sorry, I need this, I need to fuck you - please."

He's asking permission, you realise. Neither of you are in control of what you're doing anymore, and he's still asking, as best as he can, if he's allowed to fuck you. There's a terrified look in his eyes, behind the frenzy and the lust - you clumsily crash your lips against his. He tastes of your juices, but it's one of the hottest things you've ever experienced, and he moans openly into your mouth, eagerly meeting your tongue with his own. You're exhausted, but kissing him renews your energy tenfold. You're suddenly overcome with the urge to feel his cock - inside you, yes, but you want to see it first, you want to make him cry out and moan and gasp for you - so you manoeuvre in his lap, keeping your mouth against his, to straddle his narrow hips and face him.

"Ah - ah, god, that feels amazing.", Dick moans, broken up between sloppy kisses, saliva starting to drip down both of your chins - but it's hot, so hot - as you frantically reach down to palm at him. The instant you finally touch his cock, you're gone: there's no stopping now that you can feel how achingly hard he is, now that you feel how he twitches under your hand each time you kiss him, and it takes much longer than you would like to undo the drawstring of his sweatpants, pull them down, and wrap your hand around the exposed length of him. He hisses as his whole body jerks.

Instantly, you set a frenzied pace of stroking him, relishing in each ragged moan that you rip from his throat; he's leaking into your palm, you realise, dripping over your fingers as you pull him back by the hair and attach your lips to his neck. When you suck a bruise into the softest part of his skin - the salty-sweat-tangy hollow beneath his Adam's apple - he shouts out your name, loud, followed by, "-fuck, fu- let me fuck you, baby, please, I - I'm close, you have to stop-"

"Come on my hand, Dickie.", you plead, and you're granted a thick spurt of precum when you lick a stripe up the column of his throat: he tastes so good, his skin so hot under your mouth, you can't stop, and you croon right into his ear, "It's - it's gonna last for hours, still, you're still gonna be hard - I'm still so needy for you, Dickie, look - come on my hand, let me see it, please. You can fuck me after, just come for me where I can watch it, oh - oh, please." His moans start to pick up in volume and frequency, coming from a place deeper in his throat. He's close, you know.

You've started to grind onto his thigh somewhere along the way. It feels amazing, it feels even better because you know he's twitching and aching for you just inches away - once you finally drag yourself out of the crook of his neck, you see that you've left a damp streak on his sweatpants in the wake of your hips, and the steady stream of precum leaking from his cock has soaked the material higher up. "Come on, Dickie, come on, let me see you come, I wanna see it, I - I'll, fuck, I'll lick it clean after, Jesus-", you blurt out, too far gone to be horrified at the ease with which the words spill from your lips.

"Oh, baby, shit-” he cries, and then his voice dissolves into a broken jumble of incoherent mumbles and whines. His cock twitches hard in your palm, once, twice, three times against the rapid pace you maintain on him, and then Dick bucks his hips up into your hand, back arched, perfectly still and tense; he comes hard, almost whimpering, head thrown back and eyes tightly shut, looking so, so perfect as you stroke him through it and grind feverishly onto his thigh. It's the image of his cock that has the breath snatched from your chest, though. Several thick ropes of cum spurt from him as you work him through it, some hitting the skin of your abdomen and some dripping down the length, and it just keeps going, no sign of stopping until Dick completely collapses, after almost a minute of moaning and coming - your hand is drenched with him.

The sight of his cum dripping from your palm makes something in your stomach clench hard, painfully, and suddenly you need to taste him, you have to, it hurts so much and it'll go away as soon as you get your mouth on him. You scramble off the chair, almost falling to your knees in front of him - he rushes to steady you, even with weak and shaky arms - but you don't care about how graceful you look right now. As soon as you manage to nestle yourself between thighs, you lick flat up the underside of his cock. The taste of it makes your eyes roll back in your head. Dick spits, "Holy shit!", and it trails off into a deep gasp as you wrap your lips around him and sink down as far as you can go. You'd take your time, usually, but everything in your body is screaming for you to taste him, let him fill you, and you're in no position for argument.

With each dip of your head - punctuated with a moan from the man above you, each one becoming closer to a growl, animalistic, and you think the pollen is beginning to send your bodies into total overdrive now - you take him as deeply as you can. You're nearly gagging, but that's what you need. His hands tangle into your hair; at first, you can tell he's trying to be as gentle as he can, but that's soon overcome with a tight, guiding grip that pushes you further down onto his cock with each bob of your mouth. The burning heat under your skin is killing you now, too much to ignore, so you manage to shuffle out of your leggings and underwear and kick them away: Dick groans roughly, maybe because he can smell you more clearly now-

"Come here, pretty girl-", Dick says, sliding his hands from your hair to lift you up by the jaw. You mean to whine, perhaps beg him to let you back down, because he feels so good in your mouth - then you see the look on his face. He looks totally gone. Nothing like the Dick you know, warm and gentle and relaxed: his eyes are completely clouded over, lips parted and slick with saliva, brow furrowed with something between pain and carnal desire. You imagine you look much the same, with spit dripping from your chin, the heat you can feel burning your cheeks, and the wetness you feel running down the insides of your thighs. He meets your eyes, and there's a moment of stillness. One thumb slips from your cheek to trace over your lower lip.

Then, both of you move at once - you surge forward to kiss him again, those perfect, pink lips - you fumble with the hem of his shirt, ripping it up and over his head while barely leaving his mouth for a second - Dick's hands slide down your body to your waist. He pulls you into him as he leans forward, half-supporting your weight, and suddenly your back is against the floor and he's on top of you, kissing you hard and bruising, the chair long since kicked away and forgotten about. Every inch of freshly exposed skin feels like molten silk under your touch: you slide greedy hands over his torso as he licks into your mouth, feeling the network of ridged scars and each ridge of muscle. Thankfully, Dick grants you a few precious, savoured moments to feel his skin, while he alternates between rolling his hips against your bare pussy and kicking off his sweatpants.

It's all ungraceful and clumsy - wet kisses stolen between your movements, each of you moaning against the other's lips - and it takes much, much too long for both of you to finally shed yourself of all your clothes. Dick's hands grab greedily at your breasts as he ruts his hips against you a few times, and you can feel how your wetness spreads over his cock. Then, his hands fly down to find your knees, and he drags them to fit around his waist, pulling up until your hips are fully tilted, the stretch of your muscles verging on uncomfortable. "Oh, fuck, that's it, baby. Keep your legs there for me, won't you? Come on, wrap your legs around me - I want to get as deep as I can, it's gonna feel amazing, I promise.", Dick says, bordering on a growl now that his voice is so deep and strained, and you do as he says immediately. You need him inside of you, now; you hook your ankles behind his back, kiss him, and desperately grind your hips into his.

And then, with one deep roll of his hips, he's inside of you. One quick thrust and he's buried to the hilt, and, God, he fits inside you so perfectly: your body all but melts at the feeling of finally being filled, and you keen as you instinctively use your ankles to press his hips further into you. Dick's just large enough to stretch you out, even with how wet and ready you are, without becoming painful, and the pollen means it only takes you a short moment to adjust to his size before your body is pleading to be fucked. He's shaking and panting with restraint above you whimper, "Ho-holy fuck, Dickie, please... please move, oh my god."

"I know, baby, I know.", he says, breathlessly, voice tight with pleasure but still sympathetic. Even with him motionless inside you, it already feels so good, better than anyone you've ever fucked, and you can hardly stop yourself from grabbing him by the shoulders, pushing him down, and riding him. "It just feels so good, you feel so good - I don't want to rush it, I want to make it last. Jesus, my body feels like it's on fire while I'm touching you, I - oh, fuck, I want to take it slow, make you feel so good you cry-"

"-We have all night to be slow, Dick, you can do whatever you want to me, just fuck me-"

Dick's hips roll into yours and a drawled curse falls from his parted lips. He pulls out, almost completely, enough that you panic and squeeze him tighter with your thighs, but then he pushes back into you, slowly, letting you savour the way each nerve ending inside your pussy is set ablaze; he repeats the motion, faster, his curses morphing into sweet mumbles of your name each time he bottoms out. You can hardly breathe - it feels so good, and each thrust of his hips is met with a pollen-driven roll of your own, so it's half-grinding, half-fucking - the slight curve of his cock has him dragging deliciously against your g-spot every time. His movements are picking up in intensity now, and you can tell the pollen is taking him over completely. The same is happening to you: fuck it, you don't want to think about the pollen anymore, you just want him.

"Ah, yes! Yes, right there-right- keep going-", you cry out after a particularly hard slam of his hips. Dick is propped up on one elbow, hair clinging to his forehead with sweat, and the other hand slips down to grab at your ass and pull you up into him. He's deep enough that it hurts, but it's the best pain you've ever experienced. "Fuck, faster, please!"

He obeys, mercifully, and you think you can see sweat starting to bead on his temples. "Is this what you need, pretty girl? Come on, tell me what you want - tell me I'm making you feel good, because you're making me feel so fucking good, I swear, better than I ever even imagined - fuck, you're so wet, are you going to come again? Please, please let me make you come on my cock."

The combination of his cock inside you, and his pelvis bumping against your clit, and the overwhelming sensations coursing through your body: it's all too much to bear, your body is going into total overdrive, and it's so embarrassing that he's got you like this. You never normally beg, you never normally come so fast, but this is different and addictive and incredible - you cry out an affirmation to his words, and suddenly his hand is gripping your chin. He's fully collapsed onto you now, and his movements are more frantic rutting than anything else.

"Look at me-", he pleads, using his hand to guide your face so you're staring right into those glassy eyes. "-look at me while you come, and it'll make me come."

You can feel your muscles beginning to tense up as your orgasm starts to grow. Already, your world is spinning, and you feel halfway to blacking out from the sheer intensity, so you tangle your hands into his hair as a way to ground yourself. "Please come inside me!", you whine - the idea of being filled with his cum, letting it drip out while he fucks another load into you, it's fucking mind-blowing and you can't imagine anything better than feeling him shoot into you while you come on his cock.

Dick's jaw clenches tightly. "Are - are you sure, baby? Is that what you want?"

The next thrust hits you perfectly, and you can't help but pull him tighter into you, so his head drops to the crook of your neck. "I need it, Dickie, you know - you know that - you need me too, right? Fuck, fuck - it's gonna feel so good, I'm so close-". He spends a few moments sucking a bruise into the most tender skin of your neck before moving to press his forehead to yours. Each rough movement of his hips has you jostling against the floor; your nipples are dragging against his chest every time, making you keen, and your swollen clit is being hit so perfectly by his hips, and he's making the most perfect and breathy noises against you - he looks so fucked-out, so gone, so completely absorbed in the feeling of his cock inside you, and your vision is starting to blur at the edges as the spark in your stomach finally bursts into flames-

"That's it, baby, come for me just like that.", Dick gasps, just as your orgasm rips through you. You've got no choice but to clutch at him desperately and ride out each devastating wave as a scream tears itself from your lungs: it feels like your body is tearing itself apart with each ripple of pleasure emanating from your core. Like your body is folding in on itself like a black hole does, when everything becomes too much to bear. You actually feel like you've died, you must have, this is too good and too much and too overwhelming - you hang on to Dick through it all, and your pussy clenches down so hard he can barely move inside you, and he chokes out your name before his own orgasm hits him.

You've come down just enough to process the way he looks and sounds as he comes. Your eyes are still hazy - you kept them on him, you must have - but you nearly come again at the mere sight of him. He's too far gone to even make sounds, and instead he stutters out broken breaths through wet lips, cheeks flushed and eyebrows furrowed hard, and his eyes stay fixed on you the whole time. Even as the rest of his body spasms and rocks into you uncontrollably, even as the hand on your chin slips down to your neck and squeezes, he keeps staring at you with all the lust in the world. The best part of it all, though, is how you feel his cum spilling out into you; even more than he shot onto your hand, somehow, and you realise you're crying from how relieved your body is. Fully, fully, crying, and Dick kisses away your tears as he collapses against you.

Despite how both of you are wincing at the overstimulation, neither of you ever stop moving through it all, and you keep grinding gingerly, carefully but sloppily, against each other even while you gasp for breath against each others' lips. It can't be more than ten seconds from when you come down, before you can't control the urge to whisper, "Give me another one, Dick, please. Keep fucking me." It hurts - it hurts because he's not fucking you, he's not moving enough - you need more.

Dick keeps rolling his hips against yours in shallow movements for a few seconds. His mouth is occupied with sucking more bruises into your neck, up your throat and across your jaw: he's mumbling something incoherent, slurring his words. Each fresh bruise has you gasping his name. You're going to be covered in marks after this - not just your neck, his grip on your ass and hips has been tight enough to leave bruises there, too - and you're entirely certain you've left scratch marks down his back. You nearly come again just at the thought of that; Dick, walking around for days with your marks left on him. Scratch marks under his dress shirts when he's on business, or under the tight material of his Nightwing suit, or blatantly visible through the obscenely sheer shirts he wears out clubbing. He's going to be marked as yours.

"You look so pretty like this, holy shit-", he says, pulling his head from your neck to admire his work. "You're so gorgeous - you always are, you always fucking are - but you look even better when you're mine, fuck-"

“-make me yours, then, please-"

You gasp in shock and disappointment as Dick suddenly pulls out, and his own face crumples at the loss of touch, but his palms are firm and insistent on your waist - he kisses you once, firmly, before he's manoeuvring your body like putty in his hands. You're flipped onto your stomach with another whisper of how pretty you are, and then Dick runs calloused palms down the soaked flesh of your thighs, up over your ass, over the curve of your spine and all the way up to gently, gently, press your cheek flat against the floor. He follows his hand with hot tongue, and when he reaches your ear, he murmurs, "You taste so good, pretty girl. Stay there for me. It's okay, let go. I've got you."

Uncontrollably, your ass jerks up and backwards against where his cock is pressing into you. He chuckles. He fucking laughs with his lips pressed to your cheek - maybe having came inside you has cleared his head enough that he can think straight enough to find your desperation funny - and one of his hands slides back down your body, spreading your pussy open for him to look at. You sense his body tense as he gazes at you. "...My cum is dripping out of you, oh my god."

Fuck it back into me, you think, but you're too far gone to string together a coherent sentence anymore. Your body can do the talking. You keep your cheek pressed to the floor, maybe because your muscles are too exhausted to lift your head, or maybe because it was so fucking hot how Dick pressed your head down, but you manage to meet his eyes. You plead with him as well as you can.

Dick's piercing blue eyes roll right back into his skull when he pushes into you again. From this angle, he feels even deeper than before: with one of his hands running lines up your spine, and his lips wet against the backs of your shoulders, and the steady, strong pace he sets fucking you, you're brought to the verge of tears again within minutes. You can hardly move your body to work with him in this position: he uses the weight of his body to press you into the floor, and each thrust of his hips has you moaning loud against the floor.

He brings a string of kisses and nips up your nape, so he can kiss your cheek again. It's sweet, a gentle gesture, only amplifying the pleasure that each deep snap of his hips brings. "I - I'm not hurting you, am I? I know it must be sensitive, baby, I understand if it's too much, I know - you can tell me if it's too much-"

"-no, please-", you whimper, terrified he's going to stop, "-it's so good, please, Dickie, you're exactly what I need-", and then your voice cuts out into a broken sob as one of his hand snakes between your body and the floor to find your clit. The rough pad of his finger brushes over it a few times, eliciting whimpers from you, before he settles for simply resting his finger on your clit. With each thrust, your hips are jostled against his finger just enough to send sparks of electricity shooting through your veins - every time, it feels like flames licking through each limb, and he's fucking into you so perfectly, claiming you with teeth at your neck, rasping your name against your skin - there's wetness against your cheek, like you're drooling, and you're almost certain you can feel the wetness of your pussy dripping onto his hand.

You're so swollen with desire, you can feel how tightly you're clenching down onto his cock. The mind-blowing pressure Dick's applying to your clit is only making it stronger. "You feel so good, baby. So, so, fucking good - holy shit, you're taking me so well." Then, there's a savage thrust of his hips, one that has both of you crying out in surprise and pleasure: he freezes buried to the hilt inside you. "You're going to make me come again soon, sweetie."

That means more of his cum inside you, more of his delicious moans and groans as he comes, and you say, "God, please-"

"-not yet, I want to make you come for me again. You feel so tight and hot when you do - I need it again, I want nothing more than that, please - you think you can give me another one, huh? One more for me?"

"I - I - yeah.", you stammer. You can, you know you can - your body is practically vibrating from how hard you're trembling on the edge of another orgasm - but you don't know when it's going to stop, you don't know it ever will - maybe this will go on all night, maybe he'll fuck you for hours on end and make you cry and let you lick your mess of his cock. But maybe it won't. Maybe your body will give out, or the pollen will leave his system: this will end and nothing will ever compare. You don't want to come again if it means the end of this pleasure. "...Promise you'll keep going after, Dickie."

Dick starts rubbing rapid circles on your clit with his ring and index finger, and kisses your hairline to soothe you as you sob again. "I'm only going to stop if you ask me to, baby, I promise. You feel too good to stop, I swear - I never thought you would be so fucking perfect, but now I know, I can't stop - I'm right here, I've got you, I'm going to make you come so many times you forget your name if that's what you want."

God, you're going to come again, holy shit-

He hardly gives you the chance to come back around before he's crooning, "-one more, one more for me, right on my cock like that-"

You can't even breathe. Your lungs are on fire, your vision is completely blacked out even once the second orgasm ends, your muscles and bones have turned into mush and you can't feel anything other than the sensation of flying. You're weightless, Dick is the only thing grounding you - he coaxes you down from the aftershocks with soft kisses to your cheek, and his hand tracing circles onto your aching hip, and the muscles of his abdomen are flexing with restraint against your back. "I'm gonna come, baby-", he hisses, and you manage the barest nod and then he sinks his teeth right into your shoulder as he starts pounding into you like a whore, fuck, it's sending you spiralling out of control again-

"Fuck, yes, take my cum like that, that's it, keep coming for me, holy shit-"

You're both boneless and drenched in sweat by the end of it. You're collapsed against the floor, Dick's collapsed against you, and he's still hard inside of you. You can feel his cum - it must have spilled out onto the insides of your thighs, judging by the wetness you feel there. His cock twitches inside of you with every ragged breath he takes. You're so exhausted; this is destroying your body, it's ripping you apart from the inside out, and you're terrified that if you come again it'll split you into pieces. And you want that. You twist your body, wincing against the waves of pleasure that crash over you at even the slightest movement of his cock inside you, and kiss him.

[cryingoverafictionalcharacter]

Pinky Promise

Summary: Fred and Y/N have been rivals for a while, but no matter if it was pranks, or quidditch or something else, they always had their limits to not hurt the other. In fact, for the past few months Y/N and Fred have been growing closer, and even developing feelings for each other, but everything changes when one of Fred's pranks go to far, and he needs to find a way to fix it to save their relationship.

Warnings: Swearing, Fred being kind of a dick, Reader getting angry, confrontation, some angst, kind of a lot of angst actually, ends in major fluff though, also humor because I may not not how to spell but I’m hilarious.

Word count: 2.7K

A/N: comin at cha with ANOTHER ENEMIES TO LOVERS FRED WEALSEY FIC??? Why am I so uncreative? Idk, anyways I hope you enjoy!

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You were beyond furious. You didn’t think there was a strong enough word to describe how angry you were, and you were pretty sure if you were any angrier steam would be coming out of your ears. And the reason for all this anger you may ask?

Fred Fucking Weasley

You stormed through the hallway, heading straight to the dining hall. It was late, and you barely anybody would be in there, but you knew he would be. 

You stopped in the doorway, scanning over the tables until your eyes landed on a familiar mop of red hair. Locking your eyes on your target, you stomped over, clutching your bag tightly in your right hand.

“Oh shit- what did you do this time?” You heard Lee whisper to Fred, as you got closer, but you paid him no mind, eyes locking with Fred’s, who had that same stupid smirk that he always did. It made your blood boil.

“Good evening love, how’s your night going?” Fred asked nonchalantly, as if you were friends and not life long enemies.

“I have to say, it was going quite well, until I found this” You seethed, slamming your bag onto the table in front of him. “Say, does this bag look familiar to you?”

“Nope, can’t say it does” Fred shrugged, but the glimmer in his eye said differently.

“Really? Why don’t you take a closer look” You insisted, grabbing the bag off the table, flipping open the top, and flipping it upside-down, causing an eruption of water to fall from the mouth of the bag.

The water continued for what felt like forever, pieces of paper and pens falling out with it as the contents emptied out onto the floor, soaking yours and Fred’s shoes, but neither of you made a move.

After the water had finally stopped, you threw the bag into his lap, causing him to look down at it, a thoughtful hand on his chin.

“You know, now that I’m looking more closely at it, it does look a bit familiar” He said simply, and judging by the nervous looks on George, and Lee’s face when they saw you, you for sure had steam coming out of your ears now, but you kept your composure.

“Oh, well that’s good. You see, I’m trying to solve a bit of a mystery of who could have done this. Would you have any ideas?” You asked, crossing your arms in front of you.

By now, most of the cafeteria had cleared out. They have seen you and Fred get into heated arguments before. But this was different.

This was going to be fatal.

“No clue, but I have to say whoever thought of it is a bloody genius” He complimented, giving you a grin.

“Genius you say? So you think, flooding my one bag, and ruining all my homework, as well as my ten page essay that I’ve been working on all month, that’s due tomorrow... is Genius?” You asked, the calmness in your voice adding a coldness to the room that shot straight to everyone's bones.

And judging by the now terrified face Fred wore, he was feeling the effects of your voice as well.

“Oh, I see there's been a mix up, I’m actually George-”

“You are fucking not! Don't get me caught up in this” George interrupted, standing along with Lee to flee the scene 

“So sorry about him, Y/N, he can’t be helped. Try not to go to hard on him-” Lee started, but a quick glance his way shut him up instantly “Actually on second thought, do what you see fit, see ya Fred”

With that, George and Lee practically sprinted out of the dining hall, leaving you standing over Fred, who suddenly felt very small.

“I swear, I had no idea your essay was in there, if I had known I wouldn’t have-” Fred started apologizing, but was quickly cut off when your hand slammed down on the table beside you.

“You see Fred” You said, taking a seat on the bench next to him. “I think you did know. We’re in the same class, you’ve seen me working my ass off trying to get this essay done, and you’ve even asked for my notes, which I refused because of this kind of shit you pull” 

Fred swallowed thickly, his heart beating out of his chest at your anger. He had seen you angry before, and he’s been cross with you a few times as well, but those died down fairly quickly, and most of the time there weren't to many hard feelings. And you were right, he had seen you working on that essay, both in class, and at two in the morning in the library.

“Now” You continued “We’ve had out little quarrels in the past, you prank me, I prank you, you hit me with a quaffle at quidditch, I hit one back at you, nothing too serious. But this” She paused, picking a sopping wet pile of papers off the floor, and plopping it in front of him “Is really really fucking low. Did you know, I was already failing this class?”

The question put Fred on the spot, and he felt his heart sink to his stomach. He had always known you to be extremely smart and quick minded, so to hear you weren't doing so well in that class came as a surprise.

“Yeah, I’m failing because, fun fact, I’m fucking exhausted. I’m staying up till three in the morning every night, trying to get caught up in classes. I’m writing back and forward to my family constantly because they’re going through financial problems again, Umbridge is constantly writing me up for no reason, and on top of all of that, I still need to be worried about this” 

Your voice was beginning to shake a bit, and you both knew you were about to cry, but you were determined to keep the tears in until you were done. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“So... Fred, consider this little rival, or fight, or whatever the fuck this is, over. I’m done, you win, just please, for the love of fuck, leave me alone” 

With that, you stood up and left the dining hall, quickly wiping the stay tear that snuck out on your way. All the while, Fred sat in shocked silence. He had always seen your little back and forwards as friendly competition, and had even thought they were a bit flirty at times. In fact, you two had been getting a bit closer these last few months, and had even started hanging out as friends. But now, he had royally fucked that up, and he needed to fix it.

The next day, you were exhausted. You had spent a lot of the night crying, which you hated but all the pent up emotions just came flooding out. Yes, you were absolutely pissed at Fred, but most of all, you were hurt. In the last few months, you’re arguments had died down a bit, and you found yourselves hanging out from time to time, always accidentally, but you enjoyed his company none the less.

You had even begun to like him a bit, maybe even more than a friend. He was nice, and charming, and wicked funny, and always tried to make you smile, but now, after seeing how careless, and almost mean he had been, you knew you needed to shove those feelings down. So you did. 

Your first class was potions, which of course you had with Fred. He sat behind you, and for a while, he made the class bearable, passing notes back and forward. But now you were absolutely dreading it.

Fred was sat in his usual seat, waiting for you to walk in. He had come in early, hoping to get the chance to talk to you, but when you walked in just as class began, he knew he would need to try a different approach.

Not even five minutes into the class, you felt a piece of paper land beside your elbow on your desk. You looked down, finding a folded up piece of paper, which you immediately knew was Fred's.

You could feel his eyes burning holes in the back of your head, but instead of turning around, you simply flicked the paper off your desk, returning your gaze to the chalkboard. A few minutes later, another piece of paper, this time on top of your notebook. Again, you flicked it off. 

Finally, five pieces of paper later, you smacked your quill down and picked up the newest piece of paper from your desk, unfolding it and looking it over, Fred watching you closely as you did

Can we please talk? I’m sorry

You finally turned around to meet the boys gaze, his eyes instantly lighting up at the change, but his spirits quickly fell when he saw your face, not angry, or frustrated, but sad.

You had had enough, facing the boy, you placed the paper back onto his own desk right as the professor dismissed the class, quickly slipping out of the room before Fred could follow you.

You avoided him like the plague the rest of the day. You didn’t have many other classes with him, and the ones you did share you made sure to find an empty seat far away from him, you even skipped lunch, choosing instead to read in your next class. 

You even skipped the class where your essay was due, not wanting to show up and hand over nothing, you decided to spend the rest of the day alone, and try to redo your assignment, even if you now only had a day to do it.

Fred only saw you again after class by the forbidden forest. He had found you pretty easily, you weren’t in any of your usual spots, so he knew this would be the next best spot to check. As he approached you, he found you had changed out of your uniform and were now in some joggers and a sweatshirt, sitting with your back against a rock as you scribbled in the notebook in front of you.

You chewed your lip as you tried to rewrite your essay, looking to your textbook and back every few second, before messing up on a word. Frustrated, you scribbled out the paragraph you had been working on and threw your notebook and quill to the side, resting your elbows on your knees as you held your head in your hands.

You quickly snapped out of it though when someone behind you cleared their throat, getting your attention and making you jump out of your skin. Panic surged through you, expecting a teacher, or worse, Umbridge, but the fear was soon replaced by irritation when you made eye contact with none other than the very red head you had spent all day trying to avoid.

“What do you want Fred?” You asked, turning back to face the forbidden forest, away from him. 

He didn’t answer, instead you were met with the sound of grass shuffling beneath his feet as he got closer, taking a seat before holding something out to you, causing you to look over at him.

It was your bag from yesterday, but now completely fixed and dry. It looked like brand new. 

You took the bag from him and looked it over, going over the seams and the straps before finally opening it, finding your notebooks, pens, and homework assignments all neatly tucked inside.

“How did you- When did-” you rambled trying to find the words and you shuffled through your belongings, finding them all intact and dry before finally turning to look at him “Why did you do this for me?”

Fred wasn’t expecting that question, but he still answered, looking down at the grass.

“I felt really bad after yesterday, and not just because of that stuff you... anyway, I know I went too far, and I shouldn't have done it in the first place, but I wanted to have a reason to talk to you I guess, and I did it in the worst way possible, and I wanted to make it up to you. I’m sorry”

You looked at him, before turning back to the bag, noticing there was something missing, but before you could say anything Fred continued.

“I was also able to save your essay, it took a while but it was all there. I was going to give it to you in class, but you didn’t show up so I turned it in for you and said you were sick. I got to read some of it by the way, its really good and I would be surprised if you-”

Fred was cut off by you moving your bag to the side and turning to face him, wrapping your arms around him to pull him into a hug. 

Fred was too shocked to move for a second, but quickly found himself returning the embrace, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you closer. You sat like that for a minute, your face buried in his neck as a thousand emotions flooded over you. Finally, you pulled away, looking him in the eye.

“I’m not saying I’m not entirely grateful” you started “But you could have just come and talked to me, why did you feel you needed to do that to talk to me?”

At this, Fred’s face began to heat up a bit and he looked back down, fiddling with the grass. He was hoping to fix your friendship and move on, maybe one day growing to be something more, but now he was faced with the choice to tell you his feelings, or lie, and he didn’t want to deny it anymore.

“We’ve always had our little competitions and stuff, ever since we were kids, and for a while we really hated each other. But then, these last few months I got to know you a lot more, and I always knew you were funny, but you’ve got a wicked sense of humor, and you’re super smart, and are always helping people, and you’re always kind to everyone you meet, and I thought I might have had a crush or something. And I didn’t really know how to interact with you in a not competition way, and I didn’t want to freak you out, but after the bag, seeing how it hurt you, it broke me. And I realized that I liked you a lot more than I thought I did”

Fred looked up at you, waiting for your reaction. Were you angry, upset, happy? Your face wasn’t giving him any signs, but then, a small smile crept to your lips, and despite how hard you tried to fight it.

You laughed.

“I’m sorry” You started, trying to fight the laughter bubbling in your chest “I’m not laughing at you, I’m not, it’s just-” Another laugh. “God were just a bunch of idiots aren't we?”

Fred was looking at you like you’d gone crazy

“What do you mean?”

“I like you too dumb ass” You confessed.

“You... oh... Oh!” Fred exclaimed, finally putting the pieces together. “Wow, I really fucked up didn’t I”

“Oh for sure” you nodded, causing Fred to let out a groan, shaking his head before looking back to you, a smile on his face.

Without thinking, you leaned forward, closing the rest of the space between you and pressing your lips to his. Fred returned the action, bringing a hand to the back of your neck to pull you in closer, deepening the kiss.

After a few seconds, you both pulled away, each with goofy smiles on your faces.

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” Fred asked.

“Only if you promise to never do it again” you said

“Deal” Fred answered quickly, holding out his pinky to you, which you wrapped your own pinky around, shaking on the agreement.

“Wow a pinky promise, that's some hard core shit” You joked in a serious tone.

“Hey, if it means I get to spend more time with you, I’d pinky promise to anything” Fred replied, to which you gave him a feigned shocked expression.

“Anything?! Aww, you like me like me” you teased, laughing as Fred playfully pushed your shoulder.

“Shut up you like me like me too” Fred argued

“That is true” you nodded, before smiling and grabbing the front of his shirt, pulling him into another kiss, smiling as he pulled you even closer.

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A/N: Heeey, so I was hit with the biggest surge of motivation today and I literally got two weeks of homework done, deep clean my room, and wrote this, so if I go dark for a few months its probably because I’ve used my adrenaline budget for the year lol.

But seriously, I know this fic gets a bit... deep ig? Idk, I’ve been going through it recently and I wanted some angst that would actually reflect how I would react in that situation if you know what I mean? Like I see a long of angsts where the love interest does something really mean, but a simple apology solves everything and yeah. No hate if that’s your writing style, its just not my thing, and I wanted to express my emotions through here, because nobody directly fucked up an entire month of my work but it certainly feels that way sometimes.

Anyways, rant over, I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave any feedback or recommendations you may have.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 297: We’re Bustin’ Outta This Joint

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi did his best to undo all of the good vibes from the Girl Power arc by killing off Midnight. It sucks and I still don’t like it, but it is what it is. Unfortunately, Not Killing Off Your One Female Teacher Character With Any Character Development was worth 30% of his grade for the semester, so it brought his average down all the way to a C-, and so he and his report card will just have to live with that. Meanwhile Ochako did some rescuing, and the other U.A. kids lay around unconscious and/or traumatized. The chapter ended with an abrupt cut to Tartarus, where AFO is apparently just chilling and waiting for the Nearly High Ends to come bust him free. What kind of a cliffhanger is that to leave your fans hanging on for three whole weeks. Who’s suffering more here, the characters or the readers.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “okay I know you all want to know what happens to Deku and Shouto and the rest, but have you considered finding out what happens to Overhaul and Muscular and Moonfish and New Girl Character instead?” Fandom is all, “you had us at New Girl Character.” Seiji’s dad is all, “I’m just going to say a bunch of stuff to help make sure none of the readers feel conflicted about cheering on a bunch of mass murderers escaping from prison.” Tomura is all, “dammit AFO why are you still here.” AFO is all, “shhh, Tomura, go back to sleep.” Tomura is all, “wtf but you’re literally hijacking my body and continuing to shred it to bits while we break into BnHA Alcatraz to recruit your own personal Suicide Squad.” AFO is all, “:).” Real!AFO is all, “HERE I AM, EVERYONE, SORRY TO KEEP YOU WAITING.” And then the chapter ends. Geez.

oh shit lol it’s a whole big fucking page all about Tartarus

my very first thought was “that’s a long-ass fucking bridge”, and then I went to go google “longest bridges”, and Wikipedia was all “son there are literally a hundred and fifty bridges in the real world longer than 5km, and the longest one is actually 165km”, and I was all “oh shit I really don’t know jack shit about bridges.” then I looked at the list for a few more minutes and realized that the super-long bridges were all built over land, and that the longest bridge over water is only 38km. which is way more reasonable, but also still really fucking long though?? ngl I would freak the fuck out on that bridge. what does any of this have to do with Tartarus you ask?? absolutely nothing, I literally forgot I was reading a chapter for a sec lol uh

anyway, my parting thought on the bridge is that it kind of defeats the whole purpose of having a giant island fortress prison, but whatever. moving on

and the six levels thing is straight out of One Piece lol. something tells me BnHA’s prison break arc isn’t going to be quite as fun. hmm

so now we’re cutting to “the Bronze Gate”, which is the main entrance off of the bridge, and some goat-looking motherfucker is out here trying to become my new favorite character. bro

SON OF A BITCH WHAT’S WITH THE BULLETS FLYING IN THE BACKGROUND. DON’T TELL ME THEY’RE SHOOTING AT GYGES. THEY CAN’T KILL OFF MY FRESHEST HOMIE GYGES. SURELY THEY WOULDN’T

ooh and now, giant robots!

giant robots with machine guns. “I’m very sorry I killed off Midnight, makeste” you know what, fuck you Horikoshi. thinking you can buy my affections back so easily

does Gyges have six arms??? look how fucking calm he is announcing the code red security lockdown, holy shit. GYGES

NOOOO

NO NOT BRIAREUS. THIS DAY EXACTS A HEAVY TOLL

YO, WHAT

he came there himself?? so much for making the Noumus do his dirty work. and based on the speech bubble shape and font, this is still AFO talking

uh oh what’s happening

is he using Decay or is his arm just sort of crumbling to pieces because he hasn’t had time to heal up yet? if it’s the former this prison break is going to set a record for shortest arc yet isn’t it

now we’re cutting to B10 which is apparently the lowest level. but do they mean lowest as in the least security, or lowest as in the deepest underground, a.k.a. the most security? idk it’s confusing and I think they should be more specific. is it B like in basement?? are there six levels or ten?? stupid Tartarus

anyway so the guards are talking about how Gigantomachia is scheduled to arrive tomorrow morning. heh. will there even be a Tartarus tomorrow morning

(ETA: WELL, UH.)

wow they’re talking about just killing him outright. damn

I kinda feel like “prison guard” is one of those jobs that just sort of naturally attracts shitty people. anyways yeah, Seiji your dad is a real piece of work

and he’s even doubling down on it after the other guy repeatedly keeps trying to hush him up. dude we get it, you’re an asshole

ooh and now we’re getting an interesting look at the various prisoners, some of whom look suspiciously familiar!

for starters, that’s definitely Moonfish in the upper left corner, I’m like 99% sure. not quite clear who that is across from him in the upper right, but it’s been a hot minute since we saw Muscular, so maybe?

and could that be Overhaul in the panel beneath him?? they’re not showing his face so I assume it’s someone we’d recognize, and he’s the only currently-incarcerated villain with that haircut as far as I can recall. though it seems weird that he’s not restrained more given his quirk. I thought Horikoshi mentioned in Ultra Analysis that he’d gotten it back somehow. eh well we will wait for answers

I don’t recognize the person to his left either (though she has an oddly familiar look to her?). but the person on the bottom right, next to Kurogiri... is it Stain?? the hair and body language are sure giving off Stain vibes. if someone had told the me from two years ago that I’d actually be excited to see Stain again I would have said you were full of shit. and yet here we are. these sure are interesting times

anyway so now the Code Red intruder alarm is blaring. and I gotta say, that one scene sure was effective at killing any sympathy I might have been inclined to feel for these guards lol. bring on the imminent massacre

“what horrible timing” lol yes. it’s almost as if they planned it that way

uh oh

is he omae wa shindeiruing. watch your six, Mr. Prison Guard

oh shit

WHAT DID I SAY. WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY. but nooo, you all were all, “but a bridge is more convenient!” VERY WELL THEN, LIE IN THE BED THAT YOU HAVE MADE

anyway so it’s the High Ends lol. I mean we already knew it was them. let’s just get on with it

omfg Tomura ARE YOU RIDING ONE

WHAT ARE YOU, A NAZGUL. WHY IS THIS MY FAVORITE THING

and it looks like it actually is Tomura again, too (as opposed to AFOmura)

-- is he using Decay on himself?? is that what it is?? or no wait, is this just more of the weird side effect shit that’s been happening since he Awakened. actually yeah never mind that’s clearly what it is

y’all this man is out here having a full blown argument with himself

so this is equal parts compelling and hilarious to me right now lol. like I feel so bad for Tomura, but I also lowkey want to see how far this escalates. like do you think he’d go as far as to punch himself in the face. where will this journey lead us

fucking look at this shit

other people have already mentioned this, but with this scene especially it makes me really curious how they’re going to show this in the anime. will it be AFO’s voice coming out of Tomura’s mouth? or Tomura’s voice using AFO’s speech patterns? more importantly, will it be cool and dramatic, or will it actually wind up being hilarious? or both?? never count out both

also he’s looking pretty good there in that bottom panel with his one eye just barely visible. that doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but here I am, pointing it out

also also, lol at Tomura being all, “the fuck do you mean, ‘rest’, you’re the one that dragged my body out here to raid a fucking prison,” and AFO being all, “oh yeah, lol, true true, but I meant rest after that.” yes, this man clearly has nothing but the purest intentions, Tomura. trustworthy af

this fucking guy. Tomura is your bullshit radar finally operational yet?? can you see yet that it was always his intention to use you right from the very start?? oh man I am starting to get fidgety now listening to this

so Tomura’s saying he doesn’t just want to be used as a chess piece. and AFO is all, “well okay but what if it’s a VERY NICE AND IMPORTANT chess piece.” bro DID HE STUTTER

-- AHH BUT NEVER MIND THAT, HERE IT IS, THIS IS WHERE THE FUN STARTS OMG

GO ON AND ACQUIRE THEM THEN! omg. why am I so fucking excited. it seriously makes no sense. like seriously, ‘hooray, our old buddies, Overhaul and Stain!!’ -- come again now?? who is this person that I have become

meanwhile AFO is making all this fuss and I really don’t understand it though

why would you need to plow directly through the building. why can’t you just use doors like a normal person. it’s not like they can lock you out, like hello, you can literally turn anything you touch into dust, what’s with all the melodrama

anyway so he’s apparently hitting the prison with some sort of EMP attack now and shutting down all their systems

omg the suspense is killing me. this is going to be so badass once it’s animated, but right now all I keep thinking is “YES, GREAT, CAN WE PLEASE JUST MOVE IT ALONG”

the doors are opening ahhhhhhh come on come on come on let’s go let’s get to the excitement already

now the guards are running over to try and regain control. but, like

yeah that’s pretty much how I’m expecting the rest of this to go basically

so now they’re shooting at the dust cloud lol. well if there’s one thing movies have taught me, it’s that bad guys who wait inside clouds of dust while panicked cops blindly rain bullets at them until they run out of ammo are basically invincible lol. soooooo

OHHHHH SHIT

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. THEY ARE SO FUCKED LOL, SHIT

YEP, AND HERE’S ANOTHER ONE

is this the first time we’ve seen Moonfish’s face? I feel like we might have caught a glimpse of it before on an omake page or something. either way, it wasn’t anything I actually needed to see again. thanks...?? I guess??

okay but seriously, are we supposed to actually know who this badass lady is?? like I don’t know her but I feel like I know her, you feel?

(ETA: lol there are already like 60 different theories about how she’s related to every single character in the series. will be interesting to see if anything comes of this. although we did just get three “this villain was secretly related to [insert character(s) here] all along” reveals just in the last arc, so idk, it might be better if we pass on it this time lol.)

girl who are you. please stick around. for the love of god don’t let this man kill you off too

????

wait so is this Overhaul? boy sure has seen better days huh. but the floppy sleeves... yeah, it’s gotta be him

anyway so then the only ones missing are Stain and Kurogiri, yes?? omg. and one page left to go

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO CONVINCE ME HE COULDN’T HAVE DONE THIS SHIT RIGHT FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. FUCKING TIME-BIDING DRAMA QUEEN

AND HE’S JUST FLOATING HIS LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM ALONG BEHIND HIM SOB. THIS FUCKING GUY

AND IS HE JUST ABSENTMINDEDLY DRAGGING SOME POOR SCHLUB’S CORPSE ALONG BESIDE HIM LIKE A SLEEPY TODDLER CARRYING THEIR TEDDY BEAR. I FUCKING CAN’T. REST IN PEACE, FRIEND. GIVE MY REGARDS TO GOOD OLD BRIAREUS

so that’s it! and we still don’t have any idea what AFO is actually planning to do now, after all of that. are they going to merge bodies?? or is he going to try to switch with him?? either way Tomura’s body has to be part of the plan somehow since he keeps making so much of a fuss over it. flkhglkhlk. dammit I need answers lol

[thelittleboyfromloveactually]

Two Shorten the Road

part 1

joel dawson x reader

warnings: cussing? idk, bad writing.....fluff, cuteness, monsters(is this a warning), mentions of death, SPOILERS

word count: 2154

prompt: when your best friend decides to leave your colony to go find the love of his life, you decide to join him on his journey even if you aren’t so happy about where this journey is going

Welp I did it, I took it into my own hands. I am writing a joel dawson series. Because we👏need 👏more👏joel👏fics👏 it’s basically the movie, almost the same script but obviously slightly different…ENJOY! <3

No one in my generation or later had a typical upbringing, I mean some of us did but then the world ended. This type of thing sounds straight out of some apocalyptic movie, but we basically live in one now. Agatha 616, an asteroid heading straight for earth, I know, so original. So we all came together and did what we do best, blow things up. Yup, we blew up teh asteroid, and humanity was saved! We thought. But here’s the thing about rockets, they are made of a bunch of chemical compounds which eventually rained back down on earth. Suddenly there were these Aileen creatures that mutated and started eating us. Ants, lizards, roaches, crocodiles, you name it. Our president was even killed by a giant moth. Ya….not so original now huh? We suddenly need tanks to kill ants, oh man I remember the good old days when a shoe would do just fine. Sometimes even the tanks didn’t work. Eventually the really big ones and our military took each other out and we lost 95% of the human population in a year! Those of us who survived hid, bunkers, caves, panic rooms, all around the world. So for the last seven years I’ve been hiding in an underground bunker. It’s really not as bad as it sounds, and it’s better than getting eaten alive. It’s a great group of people and we all love each other.

“Are you sure they’re asleep?”

“Who?”

“Y/N and joel!”

“Oh ya I’m sure”

“Joel? Y/n?”

“He’s asleep”

Actually we are both awake. Me and my best friend joel have kinda mastered faking being asleep. Our beds are right across from each other so we normally just lie there and make stupid faces at each other. We are the only two single people in our bunker. Nice huh? Joel is my best friend. I met him when I joined the colony. He’s the sweetest. It’s funny cause everyone thinks we should just have sex already because that’s literally all everyone else does. But we are way above that. Anyway, joel is in love with his girlfriend from before the colony, her name is Aimee. With one “I” and two “e”s. He loves to talk about her, he writes her letters. So in reality, I am the only one who is not in love in this bunker. I’ve never had a boyfriend, ever, even before the world ended.

We don’t really get any sleep. The moaning kinda keeps us awake. I got up and out of my bed and headed for the kitchen. I heard Joel’s bed creak and then his footsteps as he followed behind me. Another annoying thing about being down here is that to get to the kitchen from my room, you have to walk though other people’s bedrooms. Oh shit, they are busy, why would they leave their door open. Me and Joel stopped.

“Oh” joel and I said in unison

“Hey Y/N! Hey Joel!” Ava said

“Oh hey Ava” Joel said, we didn’t dare look over to our left.

“Y/N how’s it going?” Tim asked

“T-totally good tim, h-how are you doing” I asked

“Yeah, good” he responded

“I uh we couldn’t sleep” said Joel looking at the ceiling

“Ya we know the feeling” Ava said with a laugh

“Yeah probably not for the…..same reasons” joel said looking straight ahead

“Your guyses door was open, did you…did you know that?” I asked

“Yeah we know” they said

I shook my head and knitted my eyebrows together

“Okay” joel trailed off

Ever since Tim’s parents were eaten by a swarm of termites he and Ava have gotten really close, in every way.

“Okay, goodnight” joel said as we walked

Basically everyone is coupled up down here, a baby was born last winter! Welcome to the apocalypse kid. Ok if we ever get out of this, that would be an awesome story to tell your kids. “Oh ya I was born in an underground bunker doing a monster apocalypse” “yes exactly like World War Z but with bugs bigger than a 5 story building”. I mean come on.

So your probably wonder how the hell we get food, we’ll we have a cow. Gurdy. Gurdy is great. We also have a hunting party that brings back whatever they can from the surface. It’s gotten harder and harder, cause we ran out of bullets. And facing one of those things with a handmade weapon is just as hard as it sounds. It’s very very difficult. I go with them….sometimes. I still get scared. But I’ve been out quite a lot, especially compared to my man joel over here. I’ve been out maybe 30 times, he’s been out…maybe once, or not even. He’s the chef of the bunker. He makes super good Minestrone.

Me and joel like to hang out with Mavis. A robot. Yup. Not much for conversation, her batter is shot. Just like every other mavis I would imagine. When I’m not hunting we hang out with her. But sometimes I just go read. Reading and joel keep me sane. I mean sometimes joel drives me insane but I still love him. I have quite the collection of books too! I’ve got Emma by Jane Austen, a couple random ones that we found, all the hunger games and Harry Potter books, some mysteries that stopped being mysteries after a while, and then of course some smutty romance books for personal entertainment.

Joel likes to say that his thing is target practice. He has never hit the target but ya know, gotta entertain yourself. I think his thing is drawing though, he has this book that he draws in from Aimee. It’s really cool actually. He’s really good.

I sat watching Joel as he tried to hit the target, laughing a little every time he missed. It was cute how hard he tried.

“Shut up” he said shaking his laugh away

I laughed again, but then suddenly the lights started flickering. You could hear screeches and creeks echoing through the bunker. Joel turned to look at me. Worry and determination in his eyes. We both scrambled out of the room and into the kitchen where everyone was preparing.

“Hustle, hustle people we’ve gotta move”

I turned to look at Joel but then realized that he wasn’t next to me. Where did he go? Worry flooded through me. Suddenly the clanking of our weapon started behind me.

“Hey guys!” Joel said as he rammed into the railing, I shook my head. “Guys! I’ve got the weapons” he smiled at me

A few people walked over to him taking them out of his hands

“Stay” said Tim

“W-what?” Joel asked looking around in confusion

Everyone was talking and barking orders “grab what you need and let’s go! Y/N you coming?”

My eyes shot open “yes! Yup!” I jumped up and grabbed the bow and arrow from Joel.

“W-what's happening?” He asked innocently “what’s going on?”

“There’s a breach” said Tim

“What do you mean? Like inside the bunker breach?!” He asked

“Yes joel! Now come on!” I told him, patting him on the pack as I followed the others

He followed me and watched the plan get arranged

“Anna, Y/N and I will engage. Anderson and Tom plank him”

“Plank him, ya ok where do you guys need me? You want me to uh come through the rear or..?” Joel asked eagerly

“I don’t think your going to pass this joel” I told him

“Pass what? You guys need help, let me help” said clutching his crossbow

“You gonna make me say it?” said Sam

“Say what?!” God he was so adorably clueless

“You can’t handle it joel, your shook” said Sam, we all began getting into positions

“Ya ok, yes so you guys don’t get scared..ever?” He asked still getting ready to fight

“We get scared, we all get scared joel, but you get really scared” said Sam

“They are trying to make you feel bad joel” I said sweetly, trying to calm him down

“We love you joel”

“But your a liability”

“Ok why did that speech feel so rehearsed? And what about Y/N? She’s like…ya know?” He said bobbing his head

“Joel-“ suddenly the bunker shook and the lights flicked again

“Ok 30 meters out! Let’s move!” And we were off

Leaving joel and some others behind. You could hear the growling of whatever we were up against

I followed the others and listened carefully. I was freaking shaking. Don’t ask how I got sucked into becoming one the the hunters. Kinda just happened and I was just-

“OH SHIT!” I heard someone yell, it was too dark to see. Someone was gone, that thing took them. I couldn’t even see it. Oh fuck my life. Everyone began scattering, running away from the monster. I stopped running to take a breath, when I realized I was alone. Nicely done Y/N. The lights kept flickering. I heard something blow up in the distance.

“Conned? Conner?” I heard a whisper, one I knew all too well. Shit, joel. I ran toward the sound, and had no idea I was also running toward certain death. I stopped running. There it was, that thing. I’d never seen this before. I didn’t recognize it. I stayed silent, not moving at all. It slowly crawled over a shower curtain. Oh fuck. He was going toward joel! I quickly grabbed my bow and arrow and shot it. Right though the face. Next to its….eye I guess you could call it. Joel stood there, frozen.

I slowly walked over to him “Joel, hey are you ok?” I asked as I slipped my hand into his. He was trembling. Tears ran down his cheeks. He has a bad freezing problem, so I've been helping him work on it.

About an hour later I sat with Joel, still holding his hand as he stared out into space. We could hear everyone talking. How could this have happened?

“It ripped through steal”

“Anderson and I resealed the Breach point, nothings getting in that way again”

“But why did it happen?”

I tried to toon it out, and I hoped Joel did too.

“Joel, do you wanna talk about it?” I asked squeezing his hand, he looked so sad, which just crushed me

He shook his head

“Ok….” I nodded, I leaned into hug him but was interrupted by his voice

“How far away is Aimee's colony?” He asked

I pulled back, looking at him confused. The talking stopped and everyone look at him

“What?” Tim asked

“Aimee’s colony, how far away is it?” He repeated

“About 85 miles” he said as he furrowed his brows

“How long will it take to get there?”

“What do you mean joel?” I asked leaning closer to him

“Just humor me, how long?” He insisted

“7 days” said Tim

“Someone who’s armed and trained would hardly last 50miles, but you…joel” Ava said, I felt bad for him, he really didn’t deserve any of this

“Alright” Tim continued “now I need volunteers”

“I’m gonna go” joel said

No one said anything, they just stared

“It’s an impossible journey joel” said Tim, crossing his arms

Joel stood up, moving around my chair. “No im serious…I love you guys but there’s only one person in this world who ever truly made me happy and she’s only 85 miles away” he said strongly “I’m gonna go see her” I could see his mind was made up

God he was such a romantic, how could you not love this guy? Sure it hurts when your best friend tells you that you didn’t make him truly happy. Especially when you maybe sorta kinda have a crush on him.

He let out a breath “woah, that felt awesome” he said as he walked off to start packing

I stood there for a second processing and thinking, but then suddenly my mouth took over and well….

“I’m coming with you!” I said, he froze “I mean you can’t leave me here with these middle aged people, and your my best friend so” I shrugged

“I’ll come back for you I promise” he walked over to me “I can’t let you put yourself in even more danger” he said grabbing my arms

“I can’t let you put yourself in danger knowing that I could have helped protect you” I said, he stared blankly at me

I smiled “o-ohK…then I guess…” he trailed off

“Cool I’ll go pack” I skipped past him. Was I scared? Hell yes. But like I said, I needed to help joel and protect him in every way I can. And sure I wasn’t so happy that he was returning to his long lost love but if it made him happy then I would live. And anyway, two do shorten the road.

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

😡🤬ANGER MANAGEMENT (PART 1)🤬😡

Prompt: Y/N has the life she’s always dreamed of: a good house, a nice car, a fat paycheck, her dream job and some loving friends. Her life feels like a fairytale...but just like every fairytale she’s not safe from the villain, the problem with that? He’s not only an incredibly hot Scotsman but also a fucking pain in the ass!

@drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Drew McIntyre x Reader

Warnings: +18 smut, clit stimulation, angst, dirty talking, cursing, name calling,(possible part 2?Idk)

Notes: I think it’s time for me to face my biggest fear: Drew McIntyre! 😂 all jokes aside, I’ve lost count of how many one shots I have written and soon after deleted about this handsome hunk. There are so many good stories of him out there that I’ve always felt like mine were actually horse shit compared to those so I’ve never had the courage to make this Scottish wet dream an official brand of my writing, but I’m looking forward to achieve new accomplishments on my writing in 2021, so here goes nothing folks! Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Oh Thank God! Just the woman I wanted to see”

I turned around to meet Becky Lynch, one of the few dear close friends I’ve made while working for the WWE as a massage therapist.

“Hey Becks! What’s up?”

“Y/N I need your help, I was doing some training with the guys when suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and now I feel like I wanna cry”

“Oh Becky, c’mon let’s go to my office”

Once we got there I mentioned for her to sit on the massage table.

“So tell me exactly what you were doing”

“I was doing some regular weightlifting, then all of a sudden I felt this sharp pain stretch from my elbow to my shoulder”

“Ok, did you warmed up before hand?”

“Yes”

“Did you added the weights in progressively or were you in some sort of competition against Sheamus, Cesaro and McIntyre as to whom could perform a proper weightlifting faster?” I crooked my eyebrow

“Y/N! You know I would never do that” She tried to hide her shame for being caught

“Becky, I know you! I know how competitive you are and how competitive you GET when you train with Sheamus, Cesaro and the Scottish prick.”

“They started ok?! They said I was no match for them, so I had to make them swallow word by word” She said slightly angry

“Calm down” I chuckled “And I presume you won?”

“Of course I won! As if they stood a chance” She scoffed

I touched her shoulder and palmed the back of her upper arm til I reached her elbow

“And your prize for that my darling is” I looked into her eyes “Six muscular knots, probably some small damage to your elbow nerves resulting in a little trip to the physical therapists and shit ton of pain, congratulations! Are you happy now?”

“Oh no!” She whined “Y/N, please don’t send me to the physical therapists, they will eat my ass off and they’re gonna tell Hunter about this. Please Y/N, please tell me you can fix it?” She stared at me with begging eyes

“Becks” I sighed “I can undo the muscular knots but I ain’t no fairy godmother! If you have some sort of nerve damage that’s up to the physical therapists...there’s nothing I can do about that honey”

“Please Y/N give me some of the red magical relief juice you gave to Kofi” She pleads

“Red magical relief juice?” I asked confused

“Yes, Kofi said he had this horrible pain from an injury and you gave him this red magical relief juice that helped him better than any medicine! Please give that to me too!”

I laughed before answering

“Oh Kofi, Kofi... it’s not an juice, it’s a liquid... a toner. A home made medicine I learned with my grandma. Technically I’m not even allowed to use that, but I know it works, better than these crap versions of Vick’s Vapor Rub” I tossed a little small green package in the trash can.

“Can you give that to me?” She asked with her eyes full of hope

“Fine” I said and she smiles widely

“But, you have to promise me that you will stop with these stupid and senseless competitions! They could permanently damage your nerves you know?!”

“Ok I promise”

I took a small plastic bottle from the cabinet and filled up with some small amount of the toner and placed the bottle inside a small paper bag. I also gave her a little bit of my grandma’s famous ointment in a tiny tin can.

“Alright, so here’s what you’re gonna do: once you get to your hotel room, you’ll take a hot shower and before you put your clothes on, you’re gonna rub the toner from your neck to your elbow all over your shoulder and back upper arm” She nods and I proceed “Then right after you’re going to take a small amount of this ointment” I show her the little tin can “And rub it all over your shoulder, back upper arm and elbow. Right afterwards you get dress with a long sleeve shirt and go to bed. Remember that you cannot leave your skin exposed to the cold air of air conditioning, because if you do it will make your pain and damage way worse! Do you hear me?”

“Yes Ma’am”

“If in three to four days you still feel any sort of pain you’re gonna have to go to the physical therapists”

“Ok”

“Becky I’m serious”

“Okay Y/N I got it” She smiles softly

“Good, now please, don’t tell anyone about this” I shook the little bag “And tell Kofi to keep his mouth shut. I know he means well but I could get fired for this”

“My lips are sealed” She pressed her lips in a thin line

“Thank you” I chuckled “Now, go on and take 20 drops of this” I give her some Ibuprofen “And come back in 20 minutes”

“Why?” She asks confused

“Because we still have to undo those knots and it’s not gonna be the fun kind of pain my dear”

“Argh” She groans

One week later

I was finishing tidying up the massage table from the session I just had with Bayley when someone knocked on my office door

“Come on in”

“Hey Y/N” Seth Rollins said in a voice full of pain as he tried to walk towards me

“Seth are you ok? Jesus, you look like somebody just kicked your balls so hard that they went up to your throat! What happened?” I tried to hold back my laugh

“A long story involving Cesaro and Drew. Moral of the story is my back is fucked up, do you think you can help me?”

“Can you lay down here?” I patted the table

“I guess so” He made his way to it excruciatingly slow as I helped him to lay down

“Where’s the pain worst?”

“My lower back” I touched and he gasped in pain

“Do you think you could give me some of that red magical relief juice?” He whispered so only I could hear it.

Of course I wasn’t surprised about him knowing of the “magical relief juice” since he and Becky were together I figured she told him.

“Did Becky told you?”

“Only today, once she saw I was in a tremendous pain...When she was using it I pressed her to tell me who gave it to her but she didn’t wanted to say, she said it was her fairy godmother”

I couldn’t help but smile at Becky’s inside joke and loyalty. I truly love that girl.

“Sure thing Rollins, just please don’t-“

“I won’t tell anyone Y/N don’t worry! Your witchy recipe is safe with me” He chuckled “Ouch fuck, that hurts” He groaned

“Did you bring any jacket on with you?” I laugh

“Yeah Becky told me to”

“Ok, let’s get start it”

Forty minutes and a relaxed thankful Seth Rollins later. I was finishing washing my hands while Seth pulled the zipper of his jacked up. I could feel his eyes on me

“What is it Rollins?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“If the question is if I am a 450 year old witch then my answer is, you will never know” I whisper as I turn to face him with a smirk

He laughs before saying “Well I’m sure you are sweetheart” He winks playfully “But that’s not the question though unfortunately”

“What is it then?”

He looked at me with a sense of caution before asking

“Why do you hate Drew so much?”

“McIntyre? The Scottish prick? The shitty bearded version of Gastón from Beauty and The Beast?” I ask in disbelief

My hatred for Drew McIntyre goes way back to 5 years ago. To make a long story short he has being a pain in my ass every since I started working here. It all resumes to the bad flirting and endless fights. We’ve always fought at least 3 times a week for as long as I can remember. It’s like a weekly ritual for us, and our fights are always petty and ridiculous such as who will get in the elevator first or who will rent the last SUV car.

“Yeah...” He answers slightly embarrassed

“Well that’s simple, he’s an asshole! A smug fucker who thinks he’s the most beautiful man to ever walk the earth and that every woman alive must fall for him in all fours”

“Is there anything else beyond that?” He asks

“No! Of course not!” I lied. As if I could tell him about my deep sexual desire for the Scotsman

“Are you sure? I mean, you must agree with me that he is very beautiful” Seth answers

“I’m not saying he’s not. I have eyes, so trust me, I know he’s hot as fuck and a very handsome man but that doesn’t mean that every woman on this company wants him!” I scoffed

“Does the ‘every woman’ equals Y/N?”

“Why are you asking me this?” I asked aggressively

“Look, there’s no need for you to get all defensive ok? I’m your friend and I’m just asking this as a friend. I’m not coming for you by any means” He says with a soothing voice

“Sorry, it was just my automatic response”

“It’s okay sweetie”

“But Seth...why this question now?”

“Let’s just say that I may or may not have heard some backstage talk and I would like to know this from your own mouth instead of other people’s”

“Backstage talk? About what?” I ask angrily

His eyes widened “You know what? Let’s forget I ever men-“

“No no no Rollins you’ve started this now you will finish it!” Now I was really angry

“Fuck, I should’ve kept my mouth shut” He murmured

“But you didn’t! So spit it out”

“Ok...I’ve heard one of the girls say that the reason why you hate Drew so much is because you kinda have a hidden want for him to fuck you but since he’s ‘not interested’ you get pissed off” He whispered

“I WHAT??? WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?”

“Y/N please keep your voice down! Somebody is gonna hear you”

“I COULD GIVE TWO FUCKS IF SOMEBODY CAN HEAR ME! Who’ve said that Seth?” I was boiling with rage

“Sweetie, I’m not gonna tell you who’ve said it because I know you will-“

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and whispered

“If you don’t tell me who’ve said that right now Rollins I swear to God on God in heaven that I will cut your balls off and shove them down your throat!”

He gulped

“Now who’ve said that?”

“Carmella” He whispered and I smiled letting go of his collar “Y/N please don’t do anything stupid!” He said as I removed my coat

“Don’t forget to rub the toner on your back once you’re out of the shower” I patted his shoulder and made my way to the door

“Y/N where are you going? Y/N please whatever you’re thinking about doing it, just don’t ok? She’s not worth it! Y/N PLEASE!”

But his screams were now faint as I make my way down the hallway to find the blond gossiper girl.

I finally find Carmella “talking”, to Sheamus in one of the hallways.

“Oi Y/N, how’s life treating ya lass?” Sheamus smiles widely at me, making his usual greeting. At any other day it would’ve made my afternoon happier to find that amazing Irish man, but not today! I was so furious that I ignored him and went directly to Carmella

“Would you mind telling me why the fuck are you not only minding my business but also spreading rumors about me and McIntyre?”

From where I stood I saw Sheamus visibly gulp

“Hey Y/N, what do ya say about we go to tha catering grab some coffee huh?” He said urgently pleading

“So? I’m waiting for an answer” I said to her fully ignoring what he just said

“Well Y/N, from woman to woman, I think we both can agree that it’s no rumor. It’s quite visible, to not say pathetic, the way you can’t deal with rejection my dear” She batted her lashes

“And what exactly are you implying?”

“The obvious Y/N! That you want Drew in between your legs but he doesn’t! I mean, let’s face it, he’s too much of a man for you anyways! It’s not like you can handle him, because we know you can’t” She measured me from head to toe making me feel very conscious about the difference between her slim toned body and my thick one full of curves.

I know that most of the men’s in this company usually date or even have one night stands with women who were body equivalent to their own - slender and beautifully toned - , but that doesn’t mean that they didn’t saw my own curvy beauty. Hell, I even got some dinner invitations from some of the guys! Cesaro, Baron Corbin, Finn Bálor and even Seth Rollins (before he got with Becky) were some of them.

“I bet that I received more dinner invitations in a week than you in a year” I scoffed

“But not from the man you want the most right darling?” She evilly grins and I see red! Pure rage in it’s rawest form took ahold of me and I jumped towards her neck but a pair of strong arms stopped me from attacking her.

“Wow, easy now lass” He said

HIM! The cause of all this gossiping with my name, I couldn’t get even more angry even if I tried.

“Let me go McIntyre!” I roar

“Uh, enjoy it while it lasts Y/N, it’s as far as you’ll ever get anyways” Carmella chuckles

I tried to wiggle out of his arms “What the fuck did you just said bitch? I’ll feed you your own teeth you fuck-“

I couldn’t finish my sentence thanks to Drew, who lifted me off from the floor and tossed me on his shoulder, taking me to back my office.

“What are you doing? Let me go! I’m gonna punch her stupid rat’s face!”

“No you won’t”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m preventing your ass from getting fired!” He answers

I tried to release myself from him, but who was I fooling? The man is a brick wall, I couldn’t let myself go not even if I tried hard!

Once we got into my office he locked the door, placing himself in front of it and released me.

“Don’t you never, EVER, dare to manhandle me like that again! Do you hear me?” I stare at him with my eyes full of rage

“You know Y/N, all that anger is not good for you...you could have a heart attack” He chuckled

I was so mad, that tears of anger rolled down my cheeks as I cut the small distance between us and begin to punch his torso, arms or whatever I could reach

“I HATE YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON WHY I AM NOW A FUCKING BACKSTAGE GOSSIP SUBJECT! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU’RE SO FULL OF YOURSELF AREN’T YOU HUH? SHITTY ASS GASTÓN!”

I was starting to loose my strength due to my ferocious attack, and I would be damned if I let him see that...

When suddenly everything changed, the air in the room thickened and I saw myself now pressed against the door with my hands forcefully pinned on top of my head.

“Aww, that was sweet princess” He smirks confidently

“What are you doing Drew? Let me go” I murmured

“Oh it’s Drew now huh? Why the sudden change love? What happened with ‘Scottish prick, asshole and Gastón’?” He cackled “What’s wrong princess? Not feeling so confident and in charge anymore are we?” He pouts

“You’re hurting me” I lied

“Nu uh, we both know that, that’s a lie. I know you Y/N, every inch of you so don’t you lie to me now! That’s not what pretty little girls like you do” He reprimanded me

I felt confused and slightly turned on by his whole dominant character. But still I felt the urge to fight back.

“And what do you know about me McIntyre? NOTHING! So don’t YOU dare to pretend that you do! You know nothing about who I am or my needs, so quit the act”

He laughed before saying “And that’s where you’re wrong princess” He towered over me, securing my wrists with one of his hands while the other grabbed my cheeks making my lips pout(like one would with a child) and tilted my head up to meet his blue gaze.

“You see Y/N, we’ve known each other for what? 5 years? I’ve done a lot of observing in those years... I became quite good at reading you” He leaned forward..his beard,lips and mustache brushing against my own lips

“So I know for a fact that what triggered you into fighting Carmella wasn’t what she said...But the fact that what she said is true” He searched my eyes for confirmation and when he found it he smirks in appreciation

A murmured ‘Fuck you’ came out of my lips the best way I could since he had this vicious grip on my cheeks.

“Oh Y/N, Y/N... what am I going to do with you princess?” He asks amused as he release my cheeks “I must say though... I agree with almost everything Carmella said” He vaguely added

Pure humiliation filled me, the thought of him knowing that deep down I had a thing for him which wasn’t reciprocal at all made my stomach turn. I felt the tears of humiliation start to rise to my eyes, but I wouldn’t give him the pleasure to see that he had broken me. Instead I reached for the safety of the one thing I knew I could do: fight!

“You let me go right now you fucker or I swear you will regret it!” I said as threatening as I could

“Oh my, won’t you look at that? Kitty has claws huh?” He chuckled lightly

I took advantage of his distraction and yanked my arms as fast as I could out of his grip. The action caught him by surprise, giving me the upper hand to turn around to unlock the door so I could leave. But his surprise didn’t last long as for he saw what I was about to do and pressed me against the door once more, instead now my back was the one facing him so he pressed his semi hard bulge up against my ass with my hands and face now pressed on the wooden door.

“Where do you think you are going princess? We’re not done talking just yet” He whispers in my ear, making my whole body shiver.

“As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me” His lips were glued to my ear “I almost, I said almost, agree with everything that she said..except for one thing”

“If you’re gonna say that-“

“Maybe I’ll have to buy you a ball gag, since you don’t seem to ever know when to shut up...or maybe I should choke you instead,what do you say?”

I gulped loudly

“Or even better, I should fuck your mouth..bury my cock so deep on your throat that you will have no other option but drool all over yourself” He pressed his bulge harder against my ass “, that will make you shut up! I can already imagine how gorgeous you will look with my cock shoved down your throat” He moaned “Would you like that princess? Would you like for me to show you where’s your place? Where you really belong?” He grinds his erection on my ass and the feeling makes me moan softly

“Drew...” I pleaded

“The only thing I don’t agree with Carmella” He continues his previous statement ignoring my plea “Is that I’m too much of a man for you. To be honest I think you’re the only woman in this company who can actually handle me! The only one who will love and beg to be fucked faster and rougher..” His hands let go of my wrists and roam down to cup my breasts roughly, pulling me even closer to his body

“The only one who is the perfect fit for me...who will let me use every single hole as I please” He bites my ear making me gasp for more air.

“Won’t you Y/N? Do you want me to use you like the good little whore that you are?”

My head was buzzing with excitement, I could feel the now very wet pool of desire in between my legs. To think that all of my darkest fantasies with this man were about to come true made me moan a faint ‘Yes’ to him

He grunts at my positive response while one of his big hands unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans so his hand could sink down the fabric to find my very wet core.

“Hmmm I’ve been waiting 5 years for this lass...Fuck, you already feel amazing on my hand I can’t wait to feel this pretty little pussy around my cock” He growls

“Fuck Drew, please” I whisper

“It’s Sir to you, my good little pet” He smirked “Now tell me, do you think I should fuck you right here, right now so that everyone in this company can hear me make you my fuck toy or should we head back to the hotel? What do you say pet?” He asks as his fingers firmly circles my clit making my legs shake

“W- Whatever pleases you Sir” I stuttered

“I see you’re a quick learner huh?” He chuckles amused “I say, let’s show this roster who is the only woman who can properly handle me” He says as he removed his fingers from my core and licked them clean while staring at me. I softly moan to that scene and he smiles deviously before whispering

“Strip now pet and show what a beautiful fuck toy you are for Sir”

To be continued...

Please let me know if you would like to see a part 2 🥺?

[kpopsickies]

Maybe something with Joohoney taking care of IM? Maybe like Kihyun is of town for whatever reason and Jooheon tries his best to take his spot and IM keeps saying he’s fine when he’s obviously not. I’m picturing Emeto with this or maybe a Migraine.

(Idk if it makes any sense and it’s ok if you don’t like it!)

Love your writing though🤍🤍🤍

 I really appreciate your comment about my writing, It’s always nice to see people like what I do!!! 💜💜

sickie: Changkyun 

caretaker: Jooheon

(Jookyun in a platonic, soft, brother, best friend, soulmate sort of way)

(TW: vomit, nausea, dizziness, brief mention of fainting) 

Jooheon p.o.v

“I’ll be back on Friday at about 6″

“sounds good, have fun on your vacation hyung”

“I will, please don’t do anything too stupid”

“we won’t”

“I can’t believe I’m trusting you two at home alone”

“it’ll be fine hyung, I’m a very mature person”

“no you aren’t you’re a baby trapped in a 177cm tall body”

“hyung, I promise, I’ll be responsible, so you can breathe easy and enjoy your vacation.”

“you SWEAR you will be responsible, and when I come home the house will be in one piece” 

“I promise hyung, I’ll be careful, responsible, and whatever else you can think of”

“just.... be responsible, that’s all I ask”

“yes hyung, now go have fun on your vacation”

“okay” he gave me a very quick, small, short hug, “tell Changkyun I said bye when he wakes up”

“I will, have fun hyung”

“I will see you friday”

“bye!” I yell as he drags the small suitcase out the door. He waves back, not even fully looking at me. I’m happy he could take a vacation, he needs a break. 

okay now what? It’s just me and Changkyun, Kihyun hyung is on vacation, Shownu hyung is at his military service (*cries in missing Shownu*) Minhyuk hyung is God only knows where and Hyungwon hyung is also on vacation. So now I’m bored alone, I could go wake up Changkyun, but honestly I like being alive so I’ll settle with being bored for awhile. 

hmm... I’m hungry. I head to the kitchen and begin searching for food. I eventually settle on ramen, because I don’t feel like cooking anything and ramen is good. and maybe kyun would wake up if he smelled the food. 

Sure enough the ramen was about half done when Changkyun came trudging into the kitchen, he had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “good morning hyung”

“morning? Kyun, it’s 12:30, Kihyun hyung left about 20 minutes ago, he wanted to wait till you woke up but he was worried you would sleep all day and he had to catch his flight, he said to tell you he says ‘bye’“

“it’s 12:30″ he asked sounding a bit disoriented. It was then that I noticed he seemed a bit pale. “You alright?” I asked casually, knowing there was no way I’d get an honest answer. “Yeah, I’m fine” ha knew it “do you want some ramen”

“for breakfast?”

“once again I will remind you that it is 12:30 and the average human does not sleep this late, so I’ve been awake for 4 hours already, so it’s not breakfast.”

“so what I’m hearing you say is I’m above average” I roll my eyes “actually more like I’m calling you lazy.” He puts on a fake offended look.  “okay so do you want any or not?”

“umm... no I think I’m good. I’m not hungry.”

“but you’re always hungry when you wake up.”

“I’m just not hungry right now” he said before turning away, obviously annoyed. “I’m going to lay down, I’m tired” He said walking away. A slight icy tone in his voice. 

something is definitely up with him, I get that he is often unbothered, maybe even a little lazy but never like this. He also never gets mad at me, we’ve been such good friends since before debut, even on no mercy I was first to approach him, (okay but like low-key fuck no mercy)  we never fight. So of course I’m have a good reason to be concerned that he’s mad at me. 

I turned off the stove and put a lid on the noodles keeping them warm while I went to go check on the younger. Upon arriving in his room he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Not in his bed, which is where I expected him to be. I began to walk back to the kitchen when I heard a strange noise coming from the bathroom. I gently drummed my knuckles against the wood. “kyun, you alright?” I say softly, getting no response I gently push the door open, where I see the maknae bent over the toilet, half-sobbing as he heaved up waves of vomit. 

I quickly moved over to him placing my hand on his back. “Kyun” I say softly, he shrugs my hand off, “go ‘way” he mutters before heaving again, bringing another wave of sick up. “I’m not leaving, you’re sick”

“Go awa-” he cuts off gagging harshly, he whimpers clutching his stomach. “please, just let me alone, I’m fine I d-don’t need you” he said, his voice weak but his tone sharp, I was hurt by it, but I wouldn’t let my best friend suffer alone. “I’m not leaving, you’re sick”

“I-I’m fine” 

“tell that to the vomit” 

“shut the hell up” He says sitting up, wiping his mouth off and flushing the vomit away. I gently place my hand on his forehead, “that explains it”

“what?” 

“you acting like a bitch, you’ve got a hella high fever”

“no I don’t”

“okay now this is getting ridiculous, you literally have a fever, I can feel the heat radiating off of you, and on top of that you just threw up, I swear to God if you say you aren’t sick I’m going to throw a pillow at you”

“go ahead and throw a pillow because I’m not sick”

“okay you know what, forget the pillow I’m calling Kihyun hyung” (why does this have the same energy as telling your sibling ‘I’m calling mom’?)

“NO don’t, okay maybe, just maybe I might be a little bit sick” He says a hint of exasperation in his voice.  just then his face went and dead, ghostly pale. He gagged and quickly threw himself over the toilet again, bringing up another harsh wave of vomit. I gently rubbed his back. I felt each gag, heave, and sob tear through his body. the boy was shaking, most likely a combination of the fever, and how hard your body works while throwing up. I felt so bad for him. 

The cycle went on for nearly 20 minutes, him throwing up, crying, dry heaving, gagging, and begging me to make it stop. I felt helpless, it broke my heart to see my friend like this, it’s times like this that I remember that he’s the true maknae, not me, not Minhyuk, him, and he’s relying on me, his hyung to be there for him, but I feel like I can’t do anything to help. I just silently hoped that I was at least providing some form of comfort to the younger boy. After 20 minutes the boy leaned back against me, pale, sweaty, shaking, and exhausted. “do you feel well enough to move to your bed?”

“maybe, I’m really dizzy right now, so can i just stay here for a few minutes.”

“of course” I say as I gently pull my donsaeng into me. “I’m sorry that you’re sick, I wish I could do something to help”

“just you bein’ here is enough” He says weakly. We sit there as he takes a few deep breaths. “okay, I think I’m ready to move.”

“you sure”

“yeah” he says. I place my arm around him and pull him to his feet. He shakes quite a bit. “you okay”

“dizzy” he gasps out weakly “are you going to pass out?”

“n-no I don’t think so, I just need to lay down”

“okay, let’s get you to your bed” we move slowly, and carefully, and finally  help him lay down in his bed. I place my hand to his forehead. “yikes, you for sure have a fever” he mumbles something incoherent in english. “I’m going to get the thermometer and some fever reducers, then you need to rest, is there anything else you need?”

“water?”

“do you think you can stomach it?”

“yeah, I feel a little bit less dizzy, I’m really cold, can you get me more blankets?”

“I’m sorry bud, but I’m gonna have to say no”

“why not?” he whined. I felt bad, but his health is more important. “We can’t let your fever get any higher, so I’m gonna say no”

“alright” he mutters in english. “I’ll be right back” I say softly as I duck out of the room. It was then that I thought about how Changkyun had mentioned that when he gets sick he tends to forget certain Korean words, and I just prayed that he would still remember enough Korean so i could understand, even though I can speak some decently good basic english I did not have the brain power to do this today. I gathered the thermometer, fever reducers, a cool cloth for his fever, and a water bottle. I got back into the room and saw that he was already half asleep. “hey Kyun, can you sit up for like 10 seconds while I check your temperature?”

“mmkay” he half groans, half whines. He slowly sits up. I place the thermometer in his mouth We sit in silence, I notice how pale Changkyun looks, looking like a white-washed zombie.  The thermometer beeps, I take it out of his mouth and right away he goes to lay down. “just wait a few more seconds, you need to take the fever reducers” He whines in protest but he stay sitting. I glance at the thermometer in my right hand, with my left hand, I fumble around trying to take the pills out of the blister pack one handed. “38.5 so bit high, but I think it’ll be alright.” He once again mumbles incoherently while I pass him the water bottle and fever reducers. “take these the sleep” 

“yes hyung” he says softly, swallowing making a face as the pills scrape his already raw (from vomit) throat. “now sleep, If Kihyun hyung gets back and he finds out how sick you are I’m gonna die” that gets a weak laugh out of him, a he lays down in bed, pulling the thin blanket up to his chin, falling asleep barely seconds after his head hits the pillow.

*time skip to when mama Kihyun returns*

Kihyun p.o.v

“I’m back” I say and right away I regret coming back, the first thing I hear the is the maknaes shouting from the other room. I walk in and see them battling aggressively at mario cart, the room is messy, but not nearly as bad as I expected being honest. “I’m back” I repeat seeing that they clearly hadn’t heard me the first time. they both look up at me, startled. Jooheon moves to pause the game. Now looking at them I notice Changkyun is really pale. “wow, the dorm isn’t as destroyed as I expected” I say sitting down on the couch. “well.... Kyunnie was kinda on his death bed for the first few days after you left so we didn’t do much” I thought he looked pale “you were sick and you didn’t tell me?”

“well yeah, we didn’t want to bother you, besides Jooheon hyung took good care of me”

“even though someone was all like ‘I’m not sick, I’m fine’ while he was running a 38.5 fever while vomiting his guts out”

“yeah, but I’m fine now, so no harm done” I roll my eyes but smile. I knew I could trust Jooheon, and seeing that even though he teased Changkyun, he’s such a good hyung, and yes, he still is a baby trapped in a 177cm tall man’s body, my mind hasn’t changed on that.

[faithinthefuture28]

Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 

 2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”. 

[oikawaplssteponme]

The Apartment: part 5

▪️for parts 1-4, click here

pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem! reader

rating/warnings: swearing, angst (?)

synopsis: You knew that living with your three best friends, Kuroo, Oikawa, and Bokuto, would be a wild ride. It’s never a dull moment with those three. Let’s just hope you can keep your huge crush on Kuroo a secret when he is only a room away.

a/n: hi friends✨i hope you all are doing well:)) just a friendly reminder to eat something today and stay hydrated 💕 as always, my inbox is open for anything and everything so feel free to reach out:) and the taglist for this fic is still open if you’d like to join✨ okay, enjoy xx

•

Five: best friends

“Okay do you have all your bags?” You asked. Bokuto nodded, holding a backpack and small suitcase.

“Yes Y/N.”

“And your phone? And your pillow, because I know you hate hotel ones. And-“

“Y/N calm down you’re going into ’mom mode’,” said Kuroo. You rolled your eyes.

“I just wanna make sure he has a good trip.”

“Akaashi will take care of him, don't worry,” smiled Kuroo.

“Do you not want me to have a good trip?” pouted Oikawa. You put your arm around him and smiled.

“Oikawa, I wouldn’t mind if you didn’t come back.” You joked.

“I fucking hate you,” he growled, pushing you away. You laughed and ruffled his hair.

“I love you both okay, now get out of here, Iwa and Akaashi are probably already outside,” you smiled. The four of you gathered for a group hug. Oikawa was off to his mini getaway with Iwa and Bokuto was joining Akaashi for his writers conference. The apartment would be just you and Kuroo.

“Hey, Y/N,” called Bokuto. He pulled you aside and whispered something in your ear.

“Remember what I told you.”

You sighed, remembering well what Bokuto had told you those days ago. You nodded.

“Farewell my lovely apartment! You two better not burn the place down while I’m gone,” said Oikawa.

“No promises,” smiled Kuroo. He pushed Oikawa out the door as Bokuto followed.

“Bye you two, we love you!” You cheered. Kuroo shut the door behind Oikawa and Bokuto, leaving you alone with him.

“You act like they’re never coming back,” laughed Kuroo.

“Not my fault I’ll miss them. I don’t remember the last time I went more than a week without them,” you explained. Kuroo nodded.

“Wanna grab some food after class?” Asked Kuroo. Your face felt warm.

“Uh yeah that sounds good.” You and Kuroo both had a lecture together today for your marketing course.

“Just give me 10 minutes and we can head to class,” you said. Kuroo nodded. You went inside your room and saw that Oikawa had left something on your bed. You picked it up and it read: “I suggest you use this before it expires”. You turned the card over, and saw that it was a coupon for 10% off a purchase at Party City. You groaned and threw the card away.

“Dickhead,” you mumbled.

“Who, me?” said Kuroo. You jumped.

“Kuroo oh my god you have to stop sneaking up on me like that,” you ordered. Kuroo laughed and sat down on your bed.

“Hurry up I don’t wanna be late.” You sighed and grabbed your jacket and shoes from your closet and slipped them on.

“Fine then let’s go.”

~

You and Kuroo walked a couple blocks to campus. Your lecture hall wasn’t too far away.

“A 3 hour lecture never gets easier,” you sighed. Kuroo patted your shoulder.

“Come on Y/N, don’t you just love getting all that knowledge thrown at you.” You rolled your eyes.

“Marketing is boring, even a nerd like you could agree,” you joked.

“Okay fair,” smiled Kuroo. The two of you reached the lecture hall and took a seat next to each other.

“Hi Kuroo! Mind if I sit here?” a voice said. You turned to see a girl standing next to Kuroo.

“Oh Calie, hi, yeah sure,” said Kuroo. The girl joyfully sat down next to Kuroo, causing you to clench your fists.

“Uh Calie, this is my friend Y/N, Y/N this is Calie, we have organic chemistry together,” explained Kuroo. The girl flashed you a dazzling smile. Great, she's pretty and smart. You shook her hand firmly.

“Wait aren’t you guys roommates too? That must be so fun living with someone like Kuroo,” giggled Calie. You gave her a sarcastic smile. I already hate this bitch.

“Yeah we’ve been friends forever so I definitely get my fair share of Kuroo.”

“Well you’re probably so sick of him, mind if I borrow him after the lecture?” She asked. Calie wrapped her hand around Kuroo’s bicep. You had to stop yourself from beating the shit out of her.

“Well actually-“ you began.

“Sure that sounds fun. You don’t mind right, Y/N?” said Kuroo. Is he being serious right now?

“So I’m supposed to grab dinner by myself?” You whispered, without thinking. Kuroo’s eyes widened. Calie gasped.

“You can come with us! I’d hate to leave you all alone,” She smiled.

“Yeah come with us,” said Kuroo.

“No no it’s fine, you two have fun. I’d rather be alone anyway,” you muttered. Before Kuroo could reply, your professor had walked in and began his lecture.

~

Your lecture felt longer than normal. Probably because all you could focus on was Calie’s giggles as she whispered with Kuroo throughout the whole 3 hours. Kuroo was always good with the ladies. His confident nature caused girls to be drawn towards him. Yes, you liked him too but you liked all of him, not just the surface level of Kuroo.

You tried to contain your annoyance with Calie and Kuroo. It was obvious she was flirting with him.

“See you next week,” said your professor as he wrapped up his lecture. You got up from your seat and began packing up your things. You didn’t look at Kuroo and headed right out the door.

You began walking back to your apartment when you heard Kuroo call after you.

“Wait Y/N-chan!” You turned around to face him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to hang with me and Calie? She’s really nice once you get to know her,” he said. You almost rolled your eyes.

“No it’s fine. I promised I’d FaceTime Oikawa now anyway,” you lied. Kuroo raised an eyebrow.

“Well if you say so. I’ll grab dinner with you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah sure. Make sure you have your key to the apartment or else I’m locking you out,” you said. Kuroo laughed and nodded.

“Bye Y/N!” cheered Calie. You gave her a wave and watched as Kuroo ran back towards her.

-

You walked back to your apartment, upset. Kuroo had every right to hang out with other girls but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It was just another reminder that Kuroo might not share the same feelings as you.

The apartment felt weird being so empty. All dark and quiet. You threw your keys on the counter and plopped onto the couch. You checked your phone and saw a plethora of texts from Oikawa.

i've been in the car FOREVER -sent 5:35pm

my legs are cramping -sent 5:40pm

do you think if i asked Iwa to stop for a bathroom break he would be mad? -sent 5:41pm

bc we just stopped 30 minutes ago and i said i didn’t need to go -sent 5:43pm

but now i do -sent 5:47pm

update: he stopped for me🤩 -sent 6:01pm

y/n answer me -sent 6:37pm

im bored -sent 6:38pm

you better be buying that maid costume -sent 6:40pm

that coupon expires soon -sent 6:41pm

btw bokuto forgot his pillow but he told me not to tell you -sent 6:52pm

oops -sent 6:52pm

wyd -sent 7:03pm

You laughed at your phone. Good to see you weren’t the only one missing your friends.

well im currently sitting alone in the apartment as kuroo ditched me for some girl -sent 7:15pm

HE DID WHAT -sent 7:18pm

maybe im being dramatic but he’s kinda on a date with some girl from his organic chemistry class -sent 7:19pm

i bet she’s ugly -sent 7:19pm

no she’s gorgeous -sent 7:20pm

fuck

well

im gonna beat his ass

how dare he -sent 7:20pm

it’s fine

maybe it’s better im alone rn anyway

gives me time to get over him -sent 7:21pm

come on hun

don’t say that

don’t give up -sent 7:25pm

idk toru

i feel like it’s never gonna happen

especially when he could have someone like her -sent 7:27pm

bokuto said it best: kuroo would be stupid not to like you -sent 7:28pm

i guess he’s stupid then -sent 7:30pm

:(((

okay Iwa and I got to our hotel but I’ll talk to you later okay love? -sent 7:33pm

okay

bye shittykawa -sent 7:34pm

why do you hurt me? -sent 7:35

You set your phone down and checked in the kitchen for anything worth eating. You weren’t in the mood to go out anymore.

Rice. We have rice. Well, rice it is.

You took out the rice cooker and began to prepare your sad dinner.

Why didn’t I just go with them?

As the rice cooked, you sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. You put on ‘Gilmore Girls’, wishing your friends were there to watch it with you.

~

It was late. Close to 11pm. Kuroo still wasn’t home. You laid on the couch, basking in your loneliness. A little dramatic yes but you hated being without your friends. It was a weird concept that they had friends beside you.

You heard keys jingle outside the door and you felt a wave of comfort come over you, knowing it had to be Kuroo. You got up from the couch and peaked at the door.

“I was starting to wonder what happened to you…” your voice trailed off when you saw that Kuroo wasn’t alone.

“Hey Y/N! Oh my gosh your apartment is so cute!” said Calie. Your jaw dropped and you looked over at Kuroo.

Your expression had to be screaming: “are you fucking kidding me right now!?”

“Oh uh thanks,” you muttered.

“Is it cool if Calie stays for a bit? Her roommates are having people over and she doesn’t know them too well,” explained Kuroo. Hmm I wonder what that’s like.

“You don’t have to ask me, it’s your apartment too,” you said plainly. Kuroo raised a brow.

“Just checking…”

Calie walked around your small apartment, admiring all the decorations that you had up.

“Aw isn’t this the cutest photo!” She said. She picked up a picture of you and Kuroo. It was when you had gotten dressed up together to take graduation pictures. Your smile was the brightest it’s ever been. Holding your diploma as Kuroo wrapped his arm around you. In the background of the photo you could see a faint image of Oikawa and Bokuto.

“Yeah I love that picture,” Kuroo smiled. Kuroo took the photo from Calie’s hand and looked at it.

“Best friends, right?” He looked at you. Your heart sank.

“Yup, best friends,” you whispered with a dull smile. Kuroo smiled and showed Calie to his room. You tried not to react. You walked over to your room, locked the door, and curled up onto your bed.

Is best friends all we are ever gonna be?

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @lilnuances @tetsoleil @cloudswritings @foxyyychan @tamaguchi @jessie9008 @bitandbytes @yeehawnana @166cm @bigchaosenergy @tumbledor3 @captain-janeway @answer-the-sirens @simpletype @ysatrap @stinkybitch1919 @bokutory ]

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Art of Conveyance and Round-Trippery' Liveblog!

Sorry this is a few days late!! I moved across the country this weekend, we drove like 13 hours within 2 days and we did a lot of heavy lifting. I'm exhausted, but the boxes are slowly emptying and I've been wanting to watch this episode so gd bad, so LESGO

Over halfway through the season!!!! That's absolutely surreal

1:11 oooh they're getting their royal fitting

1:22 LMAOO WTF 😂😂 Princess Diaries vibes

1:42 ✨CONFIDENCE✨

1:52 Alfonse is a perfect name for that guy HAHA

2:05 Nathaniel, my guy, you've made some points

2:11 "do you feel your power?" POWER RANGERS, GO

2:24 no no hesitation just prolly thinkin bout how he was caught cheatin

2:39 "can you not allow yourselves luxury?" okay fr I feel that I get Nice Things Guilt(tm) too easily

2:52 dayummmm let's talk about Sticky being a hat stall between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, mans is brave as fuck under extreme pressure and loyal to the point of putting himself on the line

3:15 bro Sticky getting some recognition. Love to see it, he deserves it

3:19 "is that a coincidence? Or written in the stars?" IS DR. CURTAIN CATCHING ON THAT THEY KNEW EACH OTHER BEFORE OR LIKEEEE

3:49 WHAT WORD AROUND CAMPUS 😭😭😭 MY BOYS ARE NOT A MISTAKE HOW DARE YOU

4:09 why doess the action of Dr. Curtain putting the sash on them seem so nefarious

4:36 I dont really understand the whole pastel yellow, blue, and pink palette of the school but the boys both look pretty okay in their vest-sash getup

4:42 THE OPENINGGGGG. This shit slaps.

5:41 Kate and Constance look so fucking cute in that shot, dont ask me why but hnnggggg

5:54 sash rope 😂😭 kate, honey, that's a reach

6:09 it might feel buttery, but, my guy, it also looks buttery. It's literally the color of butter. Get yourself some crisco

6:24 I find it kinda interesting that they made up new riddles for the show, I'm almost positive that that one wasn't in the book. Correct me if I'm wrong though

7:03 "I'm not gonna apologize for knowing things" the sass. the ✨confidence✨. living for it

7:03 If they build on that it sets Sticky up really nicely for the arc in the second book where he starts to show off a little

7:15 tiny Constance who is constantly dressed in pink with cute little braids is the perfect medium for the most morbid comments 😂😂

7:55 Martina's hot in her uniform. Can't prove me wrong.

8:15 why does that make me sad 🥺 eat with your friendssss. iirc they only talked about eating at the Messenger table in the books

8:26 dipshits forgot their lunches. Seems Constance is holding the communal braincell atm

8:50 anyone have Guiness on speed dial? Reynie and Sticky have a submission for them

9:25 oh hello this was alluded to in the preview!!! Morse code is compromised, rip

10:05 so are Jackson and Jillson stuck with night guard duty all the time?? They've been outside at night a lot

10:18 ahhhhhh the little blinkie light, stopppp

10:25 MILLIGANNNNN!!!

10:25 so is this the point where he starts staying on the island with them????

10:39 so are they just like "fuck it we'll do it right before sundown" ???? Like Jackson and Jillson are still gonna be on the lookout, they aren't gonna chill just because it's not fully dark

10:50 did the kids.....just not tell them that Mr. Bloom was on the island 😂 nice oversight guys

11:05 MADGE TIME MADGE TIME

11:05 remind me to tell you guys a story about Madge, I may or may not have done something irl a few years ago that would make y'all proud 😂😂😂

11:16 idk why but it makes me so happy that they kept Madge as a peregrine falcon

11:37 Rhonda, my love, you have my heart in your hands

11:46 roll credits

12:05 THE HEAD SHAKE HAHAHAH

12:06 Awww man, I was so excited for Milligan to be on the island .-. He must have been scoping out the inlet

12:07 "they're quite regal" A. I read the subtitles as "legal" the first time and that's somehow really in character for him, and B. IS MILLIGAN GOING TO NAME HER???!? HER MAJESTY???? PLEASE I WOULD LOVE THAT SO MUCH

12:15 his grimace KILLS ME

12:17 the hard cut from Nicholas in a brown setting and brown suit to Nathaniel in a blue setting and blue suit was lowkey striking

12:36 are they looking up Morse code 😳 can you imagine if they wrote down the message and are now decoding it

12:41 omfg all that for a HAT 🙃 I feel stupid

12:51 two things: 1. Those walls are atrocious, and 2. Yeah, talk about Morse code in a louder voice Connie girl, you're just in a public hallway

13:03 I'm sorry but those orange pillar things are not the vibe

13:03 the golden gate bridge called, they want their arches back

13:10 please let Kate climb the tower before the end of season 1. please.

13:22 y'all are about to be flying something else 😎

13:33 cleansing breaths

13:47 OH HELLO MESSENGER DUTY ALREADY??

14:06 what the heck is that teal pole for 😭😭

14:12 blindfold timeeee

I'm so sorry but I'm exhausted, it's 11:30 pm on Sunday night right now, I'll finish this episode tomorrow morning after I get some sleepies

~~

Good morningggg lesgetatit

14:50 "vomit of metal" ashhdjdjd

15:16 a wild Martina appears!

15:36 and if you folks look to your left, you'll see a wild Constance being the voice of reason once again

15:57 "lose the bucket" "I'm not gonna do that" HELL YEAH KATE

16:07 I get not having the bucket on the court lolol, I thought Martina was telling Kate to lose the bucket in general. Like, yeah, good luck convincing her to so that

16:35 show!Kate is much angrier than book!Kate and I'm still deciding how I feel about that. The Kate we've known from the books is a sunshine baby with looots of repressed trauma.

17:03 ......what is that. why is that.

17:11 WAIT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE REYNIE AHEHDJDJD

17:15 HI MADGE

17:41 the grand swell in the music makes me think it's going to go comically wrong

17:51 she's majestic because she's a queen 🥺

18:03 LMAO CALLED IT

18:14 Rhonda and Number Two getting at each other is such a sisterly thing to do 😂😂😂

18:37 ohhhhh? Someone's approaching? Miss Perumal perhaps????

18:45 YEAHHHHH BABY

18:50 PROTECTIVE MOM COMIN IN HOT!!!

19:22 THEYRE SO PRECIOUS 😭😭😭😭 I feel like I've been subconsciously starved for her and Mr. Benedict's interactions

19:36 died at that line in the one trailer

20:00 so Miss Perumal pulled a Sherlock Holmes. Love that for her

20:20 Cheri Tupintown??? Of all the aliases they could pick, Cheri Tupintown???

20:33 "Power in Truth Inc" that HAS to be something Rhonda came up with

21:01 you can literally watch Mr. Benedict realize that this is a woman not to be fucked with and he is CORRECT

21:23 "he's fine. Perfectly fine." At this, Mr. Benedict's pants caught aflame.

21:52 something about Constance sitting in on practice!!! It scratches an itch!!!!

22:19 "incorporate the helix. Live in the helix." Lord Helix is pleased with this offering.

22:26 so what I'm hearing is Kate is going to blow up on Constance for messing with the bucket

23:13 unrelated but Jillson'a shoes are cute

23:29 why does this room give off Johnny Depp's willy wonka vibes

24:13 that looks like a chair from a doctor's office waiting room 😭

25:29 they do be egg heads tho

26:02 baby girl, I have no idea why you're crying at weird art but let me dry your tears 🥺🥺

26:50 SHE FOUND ITTTT

27:27 okay Indiana Jones, go off

27:46 why did that kinda sound like Miss Perumal

28:43 the return of everyone's favorite, "enjoyable"

29:05 not that I'm not loving the ice breaker questions and the one-sided conversation, but I'm not loving it

29:22 oh so we're getting right into it aren't we

29:54 his eyes being open again makes this infinitely creepier

30:36 "where's your proof?" Miss Perumal doesnt fuck around!!!

31:29 you're telling me Constance has been there all day?? And Kate went to find her???? 🥺

31:58 oh so we're getting right to it then?? Kate addressing her independence and trust issues arc????

33:29 NEWS!!!!

33:49 CONSTANCE RIDING PIGGYBACK!!!!!!

34:04 okay, so they opened the murder hole, what are they gonna do now

34:59 Italian? 🤨 m'sir that is so fancy

34:59 fun story I learned Italian diction in college, so I know a little bit

35:16 "take your time" the whisperer says, immediately repeating the prompt to get the answer sooner

35:31 theeeeere it is

35:46 SOMETHING ABOUT THE WHISPERER SAYING "YOU ARE HOME" 😭😭😭 the show really played up the cult shit!!

36:02 Kate being protective of Constance 🥺

36:20 ohhh shit is it time for Connie girl to have double Reynie? Double Sticky?

36:36 STICKY

36:52 "what kind of nonsense?" HAVE THEY NOT ASKED THAT BEFORE THIS?????

37:14 "and your tiny brain can somehow pick it up!!" KATE STOP 😂😂😂

37:16 "I knew you had to be special in some way." WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT

37:51 she's right, this is disregard for their safety. The show made Mr. Benedict and his team a lot more back-alley and dishonest, and Miss Perumal has every reason to be pissed

38:30 oh good they finally remembered he has narcolepsy

39:38 and the best mom award goes to:

40:38 I was gonna say that this hallway is how I imagined the KEEP in riddle of ages but then I remembered that (spoilers) the Institute is the KEEP

40:46 oh, hello propoganda

41:10 that's the other person Rhonda couldn't contact, along with Mr. Bloom. This has to be the brainsweeping process

41:22 yeppppp

41:44 this dark doctor's office theme gives me horror movie vibes

42:22 ohhhh, so that's how they replaced that scene where the four of them jump in a crate to hide and Sticky drops his glasses in the open

42:47 and so we've come to the part of the story where Sticky and Reynie become infinitely more conflicted

42:47 and since we've reached that point..... can we have the white knight scene? Pretty please? Please Disney I'm begging you-

43:12 so Reynie just figured that out without Constance? :/

44:03 love the manipulation

44:31 I'm sorry, the farm?

44:35 farm and forest????

45:16 "the Emergency has served its purpose" 😳 well okay then murder man

45:39 "one thought, one purpose" the hive mind rises once more

45:48 LOVE THE MANIPULATION

46:07 "what have you done to earn anyone's trust?" VALID

46:26 "please do!" WHY AM I EMOTIONAL

47:06 "we still have the falcon" that you do 😂

47:19 AYYY HERE WE GO!!! Time for Milligan to stay on the island??

47:49 ohhhh Constance, casual telepath strikes again

48:16 "stop it, Kate!" OOOOHHHHH

48:53 that line ("it would be nice to be unburdened") would be funny as shit if not for the fact that Constance is a telepath unbeknownst to herself and can both subconsciously perceive people's thoughts and hear the subliminal messages

49:20 HI MRS. PERUMAL!!!

49:25 wow, she's really going through with it 😳 not that I doubted her, but still, that's dedication

49:39 OH SHIT

50:17 oh, so he's an asshole to SQ too. Got it. Torches and pitchforks? Ready to kick his ass?

50:40 "for the moment, anyway" FUCKIN WHAT

This episode was really good!!! They covered a LOT. I hope Miss Perumal comes back to the group and talks about her findings, I hope Milligan goes to get the kids and they tell him no, and I hope they get that classic 4-person Society brainstorming and binding time that hits that sweet spot

[wychive]

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic 

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn​ !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph)  sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol  im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:) 

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3 

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?  

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me.. 

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you. 

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people. 

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them. 

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog. 

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine. 

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were. 

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar. 

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio​ , @neo-shitty​

reply to be in my gen taglist!

[clumsyclifford]

hi! idk if you're still doing the prompts but if you are #47? whatever pairing you're vibing with atm 😊 -🦥

HELLO! first of all, the pairing bot gave me malum after it gave me cashton twice but i didn’t feel like doing this for cashton so i wrote it malum, hope that’s cool. ALSO. one day i am going to write a real proper epistolary fic, mark my words, but for now this is all i have to offer you. i know it’s rather different from like. a Normal fic. but i had fun writing it so :)

read on ao3

-

Dear Calum,

My mum suggested I write you a letter because of the whole data thing in Brazil. I don’t know what that really means but apparently calling would be extremely expensive so I’m doing this now. Maybe it’s weird. Don’t really care. Deal with it.

So how is Brazil? I don’t know the time difference. Wait, I can look it up. Google says 13 hours. That means you’re a day behind me half the time. I’m in your future! It doesn’t look good for you, Cal. Future is pretty grim. If I were you I would stay in the past. Although by the time you get this it will be way in the future for both of us…oops. Oh well. I tried.

Anyway. What was I saying. Brazil? How is it? Hot, I bet. Probably playing loads of football. Luke and I have been playing FIFA but it’s so not the same. He sucks at it and he doesn’t even cheat because he’s boring I guess or has “morals” or whatever (his words not mine). I miss playing FIFA with you. Always beating Luke is not fun. Okay it’s a little fun. But I still miss you. As soon as you’re back you’re reclaiming the player 2 controller. Did I mention that I miss you? You probably get it.

What can I update you about here? There’s not a lot to say. Nothing has really happened. At least not in my life. Oh! I can tell you a secret but don’t tell Luke I told you because he will definitely kill me. Not that you have any way to reach Luke. Don’t go behind my back and write a letter to Luke telling him I told you this. Anyway: Luke fancies Ashton! I totally got him to admit it during one of the FIFA games I mentioned. It was almost cute if I’m honest. He turned really red and got all blushy and stammery. I am now wondering if I should meddle or not. On the one hand, Ashton must like him back, right? Have you seen the two of them? I don’t want to deal with intra-band sexual tension. Unless it’s ours. We’ve already claimed the “insufferable band boyfriends” role though, so do we really want this to happen? I don’t really know what I’m arguing anymore. I don’t think I’ll do anything for now. Will keep you updated in case anything dramatic happens. Then again I have no idea how long it’ll be before you receive this. Something very dramatic might happen while this is in the post. Let me ask my mum. Okay she says it could be two weeks. That’s fucking long. You might just have to come back and get the Luke/Ashton updates in real time.

Besides from that there isn’t much to report. Everything is the same. Except I’m a lot lonelier now. This is what you’ve done to me Calum. I’m returning to my natural introvert state. I need you here, Cal!! Otherwise I’ll just have to become a turtle and by the time you’re back it might be too late. 

I’m joking by the way. I hope you’re having a good time at football camp. Making new friends and learning Brazilian(?) Portuguese and kicking everyone’s arse and showing them up. I’m sure you are. I just miss you lots. :( Counting down the days!

Sending you lots of kisses and cuddles through the post,

Mikey

~

Dear Michael,

I don’t care either! I think writing letters is cool. We’re like lovers at war. Except neither of us are going to die. Probably. (Some of these footballers are CRAZY good. You never know!)

Actually, Brazil is pretty nice. It’s winter so the days have actually been not too hot, thankfully. It’s exhausting enough playing as it is. If it got any hotter, I might actually pass out. Forever. They’d have to ship me home in a body bag. (Are those only for dead people? Maybe not a body bag.)

It’s been almost two weeks since you sent your letter (I assume you sent it soon after I left?) which means there’s a good chance this one won’t get to you until I do, but in case it does I’m going to write and post it anyway. I hope by now you’re getting on better with Luke. If I’ve said it once or a million times, you guys have a lot in common and I really think you could be best friends if you weren’t both such stubborn shitheads. Which I say in the nicest way possible!

Of course Luke fancies Ashton, he’s liked Ashton since…honestly I don’t know when. Months and months at least. And Ashton clearly likes him back. I’ve never seen two people less capable of hiding their feelings. I’m surprised you didn’t notice before. Please tell me you decided to meddle in the end. You’re right, we can’t handle more sexual tension in the band. Don’t worry, they can’t possibly be more insufferable than we are. We are the most annoying boyfriends on the planet. We’re writing each other letters. Basically, it’s best for everyone involved if they get over themselves. Suck it up and kiss already! My friend Gustavo agrees with me. Also he says hi. (Well he says “oi” but I translated for you. See, I can do stuff like that. Kinda cool, right?)

I miss you too, you know. Very much. This might sound weird, but I keep having dreams about you? Like…I’ll be dreaming about whatever (usually football these days) and then you’ll just be there. Clearly my subconscious also knows I miss you. You know Ashton says that when you dream about someone, it’s because they’re thinking about you, so I hope that’s true. It’s kind of a cute idea. I hope you’re thinking about me. I’m thinking about you. Obviously. A lot. A lot.

There is one thing I want to tell you, though. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this, and the more I think about it the crazier it feels, but also more right. So…I think I’m gonna do the band. Not football. This is cool and all, but everyone here is so scary good, and…I don’t know. Maybe this is stupid but I don’t like the idea of a future without you when I could have a future with you. Like with the band, I mean. And I know it’s not the most practical dream, but imagine how cool it would be if it actually worked out. You know I like a challenge. So, anyway…that’s kind of where I’m at now. I’m going to keep thinking about it for the last two weeks here, but I don’t think I’ll change my mind. Don’t tell anyone, please. I just wanted to tell you as soon as I knew. My parents are going to be soooo mad. Not excited to tell them, but this feels like the right decision.

Anyway…this got weirdly deep. Sorry. Here’s something super not-deep to make up for it: one of the football coaches here has a dog whose name in English is pasta! PASTA! (It might be apple. Apparently they’re the same word just spelled differently and the Brazilians here can clearly tell the difference. I cannot. But I think it’s way funnier if the dog’s name is pasta so I’m going with that. Not that apple is much better? Imagine seeing any dog at all and thinking, “You know what this dog’s name should be? A common food item.” LOL.)

This letter is so long and I’m running out of space on the page and I also really need to go to sleep! The boys are telling me to turn off the lights. I miss you so much. Football camp is fun, but I can’t wait to be back. Counting down the days!

Thank you for the cuddles and kisses I am sending them right back to you,

Cal

~

“Oh my God,” Michael mumbles into Calum’s shoulder, “you smell.”

Calum laughs, but he doesn’t loosen his grip on Michael. “Seriously? I haven’t seen you in a whole month and that’s the first thing you say?”

“Ugh, I missed you so much, but that’s boring to say, you already knew it,” Michael says, drawing back to kiss Calum for a second. Then he buries his face in Calum’s neck. “Seriously, I’m not joking, if you ever leave me alone for that long again, I will die.”

“You had Luke. And Ashton.”

Michael groans loudly and overdramatically. “Ashton is busy with family stuff all the time and don’t you dare compare yourself to Luke.”

“We’re going to talk about this,” Calum says. “You’re going to be friends with him if it kills me.”

“Then prepare to die,” Michael says. Calum laughs, pressing a kiss to the slope of Michael’s neck. “I tried, okay? I promise I did. I said in my letter we were playing FIFA! Did you get my letter? I didn’t know how to check if it ever actually arrived.”

“I got it,” Calum says, stomach lurching with nerves. Ignoring them for the moment, he squeezes Michael and then steps back to give him a full once-over. “I loved it. It made me laugh. God, I really missed you, you know?”

“Join the fucking club,” Michael says, smiling. He’s been smiling this whole time, Calum realises; he’s just good at sounding like he’s whining even when he’s smiling. That’s probably the most Michael thing Michael can do.

“Alright, boys,” Mali says from a ways away. “Come on. Let’s go. And seriously, Calum? You hug Michael but not me?”

Calum throws his arms around Mali, and Mali wraps him in a hug. “Missed you,” Calum says sweetly in her ear. “Thank you for coming to get me. And for bringing Michael.”

“You’re welcome,” Mali says drily. They separate and Mali just gives him a small smile. “And I missed you too, you punk. Come on, you both. Baggage claim awaits.”

Mali takes off and Calum lingers behind until he can throw an arm over Michael’s shoulder. Michael leans heavily into him. It’s been so long since the last time Calum had Michael in his arms, but it’s so immediately familiar that it almost knocks Calum off his feet. 

“So…” Calum bites his lip. “Did you get my letter? I sent it just after yours arrived, but I don’t know if it got here before me.”

Michael shakes his head. “Nope, nothing.” Something in his voice tells Calum he’s making no mistake. He’d probably checked the mail every day, just to see. There’s a pang in Calum’s chest, all mixed up with the anxiety flitting out to his fingertips from inside his rib cage. 

“Oh,” Calum says. “Well, there was something in there that I wanted to tell you, but I guess I’ll just tell you now. Um.” He drops his voice to a half-whisper, clears his throat. “I don’t want to tell Mali or anyone yet, but…I decided I’m not going to do football.”

Michael jerks. “What?”

“I want to be in the band,” Calum says quietly. His heart is racing, but at least it’s racing towards the finish line instead of away. This is the right decision. He’s…ninety-five percent sure. That’s enough to know. It has to be enough to know. “I just, you know, football is fun, but music is more fun. To me. And anyway, um.” He rubs the back of his neck. “If I have a choice between a career that has you in it or one that doesn’t, I choose you. Obviously.”

“You’re gonna be in the band?” Michael repeats lowly, looking over at Calum like he’s seeing something he’s never seen before. “Seriously? You’d give up football?”

Calum shrugs, nods. “Yeah. I know my parents are going to kill me, but I don’t care. This is what I want.”

Michael stares at him. “I love you,” he says, and then kisses Calum too fiercely to give Calum adequate time to process that. 

By the time they break apart, he’s processed it. And as he inhales to catch his breath, licking his lips, he knows with one-hundred-percent certainty that this is the right choice.

“I love you too,” Calum says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Where Michael is concerned, it usually is.