#no I’m not fully bald yet lol my hairs just up

[transsexual-divinity]

First ever tattoo before/after

[boredzillenial]

That Damn Smile

summary: flirting in a bar

content: just some old fluff

A.N: this has been sitting for months and I’m tired of looking at it lol not beta’d

You’d think you wouldn’t want to hang out in the bar you live on-top of. But after a long first day working at the Central Park Zoo you needed a drink, or maybe a few.

It’s not a huge bar but it’s decently packed. Groups of friends gathered around tables, regulars having conversations with the bartender and laughing like they’ve all known each other for years. You feel like an intruder in such a seemingly close community of bar-goers. You shake off the feeling and the rain as you fully make your way inside to a seat by the back wall.

But as you are passing different groups of people your eyes linger for just a moment on one particular trio. Their banter was too quick for you to catch but you noticed one of the three in particular sporting a pair of bright red rose tinted glasses and one of the most attractive smiles you’ve seen in a long time.

Your heart skips a beat and in that moment you could’ve sworn the stranger tilted his head in your direction. You keep your feet moving to the back wall as your cheeks flush hot. You always hated how quickly you blush and hoped he didn’t notice it as you passed.

—-

You finished your first drink quickly as you stared at the bar counter and recount your day. After some time nursing drink number two you gather the courage to people watch for awhile. Pushing your back flush against the wall behind you you turn and your eyes go straight for the trio. They’ve got several empty beer bottles on their table and their boisterous laugher carry’s throughout the already loud bar.

Your gaze lingers on them. A pang of loneliness and jealousy shoots through you as they continue on. The woman with long blonde hair claps the shoulder of the man with short blonde hair next to her. Your eyes shift to the brunette head facing away from you as blonde stands and makes her way to the bar, presumably to order another round.

She leans back and shouts something to her friends and the handsome stranger turns, a broad smile plastered on his face as he shouts back. Your breathe hitches at the flash of that smile again and yet again you swear he tilts his head in your direction.

You quickly whirl on your barstool to face bartender closest and flag them down for another drink. Tossing your current drink back you huff a breathe and chuckle to yourself. How could he catch you twice eyeing him? Especially with those ridiculous glasses in this dimly lit bar.

“Mind if I buy you a drink?” A slurred gravelly voice sounds behind you, a large hand rests on your mid back. You recoil away from the touch as you turn to a 60 something balding man who despite his short stature is puffing his chest out as best he can.

“Ah, no thanks.”

“Aww come on you look so lonely” he slurs trying once again to make contact with his hand.

You push his hand back, “Not interested.” You say sternly, letting your best rbf shine.

“Ya know you don’t have to be a bitch about it, lemme buy you a drink.” He tried to lean forward to get the bartender’s attention.

You felt heat flush to your face in anger and your fist began to clench as a hand grabbed onto the man’s collar. “Buddy, she doesn’t sound interested.” A smooth voice pulls your attention and there are those rose tinted glasses not 3 feet from you.

The little man shrugs off the grip on his collar and walks off while mumbling under his breath.

“I’m so sorry about that. Creeps don’t usually hang out in here.” He smiles, “I’m Matt.” Your heart is pounding in your chest and he sit on the stool next to you.

You give him your name as your gaze shifts down to the bar counter. Your third drink arriving just in the nick of time.

“My friends told me you were actually the one creeping a couple times tonight.” he chuckled, “Don’t tell me they made it up just to embarrass me.”

Your face burns hot as you turn to him. Looking closer you realize he’s got a thousand yard stare. “I was wondering when you would catch me,” you chuckle into your third drink.

“It’s a bit difficult for a blind man to catch looks from across a bar. That’s why I keep them around.” He chuckles as he tossed a point in the general direction of his table.

“Fair enough,” you laugh and you take a long sip from your drink.

“So, what brings you to Hells Kitchen.” He says as he turns to face you. Even knowing he can’t see you you can help but hold your breathe for a moment, with him so close.

You proceed to tell him about your new job, the ins and outs of your new “Head Keeper of Mammalian Predators”. Matt listened intently as you explained all that it entails, including the absolute high-school level shit show of coworkers and employees who made it clear they were having a difficult time taking direction from someone who didn’t grow up in the area.

“New Yorkers are so…” you pause as his eyebrows raise and he leans back. “… territorial.”

Matt barked out a laugh as he leaned forward. His hand landed on your knee as he caught his breath. “You could say that. I love this neighborhood. Hells Kitchen is - well it’s home. And I’m happy to welcome you to it. Come on.” He put his hand out, palm up awaiting your own. “You don’t need to drink alone anymore. Join us.” You placed your hand in his and he lead you over to his friends.

——-

Through friendly conversation and several more rounds of drinks you come to know Karen and Foggy. And learn they have a joint Law / Private I practice they run out of a deli owned by Foggy’s brother.

“Things are really looking up now that Fisk is gone.” Foggy grinned, throwing his arm around Karen and finishing what must’ve been his 5th beer.

“I mean New York City didn’t turn into Candyland but things are getting better.” Karen chuckled.

“How long does it take to get used to the city? I feel like a rat in a maze trying to figure out where everything is.” You giggle as your 4th drink settles in your head.

“You know, I grew up in this neighborhood. How about tomorrow I show you around?” Matt grinned. “Unless you’re busy?”

There goes your face again, except this time there’s an audience to catch your flushed expression. “Ahh yeah. Yeah that sounds great.” You smile a little bit broader due to the liquid courage running through you.

Karen and Foggy share an expression you didn’t quite catch before Karen sighed loudly. “Well I think it’s time Foggy and I head out. Foggy I’m sure Marci is waiting for you. Matt -“ she looked over as Foggy struggled with his jacket. “Keep our new friend safe will ya?” She winked and directed Foggy to the door.

Matt dropped his head and huffed out a chuckle.

“What’s so funny hmm?” You tease, leaning in a bit closer to him and resting your head in your hand.

“Just an inside joke.” He paused “I’m not keeping you am I? It must be getting late if Karen called it a night.”

“Not at all. I’m just procrastinating my long walk home.” You sigh playfully.

“Oh, do we need to call you a cab?” He asked.

“Nopeeee, but could you carry me up the three flights?” You giggle as you point at the ceiling.

“Ah well, I can definitely help you up.” His voice goes into a low, gentle murmur.

You feel your heart pump wildly as you stare down at his lips. And here creeps that grin.

“Ye- yeah.” You shake your head for a moment trying to pull yourself together. “You can come up.”

“I’m ready when you are.” He leaned back, a calm confidence oozing off of him.

“Give me a few just to knock back some water so I’m not totally useless.” You go to stand and stumble. In a flash his hand is on your elbow to steady you. “Okay maybe two.” You jest as you regain your feet and head to the bar.

It’s not until you reach the bar and flag for another water when you realize what just happened. How did a blind man manage to grab your arm to steady you?

Before you have any more time to linger on the thought your water arrives and you make your way back.

With the water sobering you up you are acutely aware of how close he is to you as you take your seat beside him. A whisper of a smile flashes across his face and you catch his head tilting slightly.

“What.” You tease as you pluck up the courage to gently shove his shoulder and sending your pulse skyrocketing.

He tilted his head down and gently brushed his fingers on your thigh. With the way your heart was thundering in your chest you convinced yourself he must be able to hear it. “I uh - I’ve just had a really nice night. The first one in awhile.” He leaned in, his finger making their way up to your hand on your lap and making a slow pattern up and down your palm.

“Me too.” Your breathe hitches. You feel yourself lean forward just slightly, but in your already close proximity you can feel his breathe dance across your face.

He went completely still. “Did you -“ he hesitated a moment “did you still want to you up?”

You bit your lip as you stared at those rose colored glasses. “Yeah.”

—————-

Masterlist

[smiting-finger]

I tripped and I fell and this HP AU came out

So I was chatting to @silverink58​ about the beautiful original picture of Professor LWJ, and they were saying that when they picked up the prompt for the inktober exchange, they were hoping to read Hogwarts student!LWJ, 

And I thought “oh how delightful, maybe I’ll think about that idea later”, and then that “later” became “now” and what I’m saying is they shouldn’t have let me download the google docs app onto my phone, because I clearly cannot be trusted.

@silverink58​ this is for you, lol. Thanks for naming “Little Apple” :’D.

He almost doesn’t see it: a flutter of black fabric, the edge of a student robe before it slips away out of sight. But he catches the movement from the corner of his eye, and pure reflex has Lan Zhan drawing his wand to fire off a quick body-bind curse.

There's a muffled noise of surprise, abruptly cut off, and then the thump of a body hitting the floor.

When Lan Zhan turns the corner, it’s to the sight of Wei Wuxian, lying face-down on the ground.

“It’s after curfew,” Lan Zhan says, turning him over with a quick Levitation spell. “You should be inside your dormitory.”

Dark eyes glare indignantly up at him. Calmly holding Wei Wuxian’s gaze, Lan Zhan lifts the curse.

“Report for detention tomorrow,” he says, as Wei Wuxian sits up and pointedly rubs the small pink spot on his forehead.

“Lan Zhaaaan,” Wei Wuxian complains, giving the edge of Lan Zhan’s robe a beseeching tug. Lan Zhan feels his own lips thin at the over-familiarity of both the form of address and the physical contact. 

“Don’t be like that! Let me off just this once? Think of the five wonderful years we’ve spent together as potions partners!”

“Just last week, you exploded our cauldron,” Lan Zhan reminds him flatly, and Wei Wuxian grins.

“Oh come on! Let’s not harp on about petty things like that,” he says, pushing himself up onto his feet. He shakes out his robes. “You wanted to know what would happen if we added the xiezhi horn, too, just admit it.”

Lan Zhan doesn’t dignify this with a response, and simply meets Wei Wuxian’s gaze and holds it.

He is a Lan of Gusu.

He would never admit to such a thing.

Wei Wuxian pouts, reaches out a hand and uses two fingers to give Lan Zhan’s sleeve a pleading tug.

Lan Zhan sighs. 

After five years of being a detention hall regular, if Wei Wuxian was going to learn anything from writing lines, he would've done it already.

“Return to your dormitory,” he says, and Wei Wuxian smiles brightly.

“Yup, sure thing, absolutely,” he chirps, nodding in enthusiastic agreement.

He doesn’t move.

Lan Zhan looks at him expectantly.

Wei Wuxian blinks back at him with wide eyes.

Lan Zhan continues to wait.

It’s Wei Wuxian’s turn to sigh.

“Okay, fine,” he says, shoulders slumping in defeat as he turns back to his original direction and beckons for Lan Zhan to follow. 

“There’s just something I have to do first - I swear it’s important. You can come with me to see, if you want.”

-

It’s a … bird.

A hatchling, almost completely featherless, that Wei Wuxian has hidden in a corner of one of the lesser-used greenhouses, and has been coming to feed every four hours.

It’s also, Lan Zhan thinks, staring blankly at its oversized head, squat little body, gangly legs and stumpy wings, really-

“Don’t stare at it like that just because it’s ugly!” Wei Wuxian hisses, turning from pouring whatever paste he’s made down the bird’s throat to swat Lan Zhan admonishingly on the arm. “You’ll hurt its feelings!”

“You just called it ugly,” Lan Zhan feels the need to point out. “But I’m the one who’s hurting its feelings?”

“Well, it’s just a baby,” Wei Wuxian replies reasonably. “It doesn’t understand anything that’s not bird-language yet.”

“It doesn’t understand anything but bird-language,” Lan Zhan repeats disbelievingly, “but it’s offended by stares?” 

Wei Wuxian nods gravely. 

“Everyone knows that body language is universal,” he claims loftily and Lan Zhan suppresses the desire to roll his eyes.

-

“You can’t keep coming every four hours,” Lan Zhan says, after the bird curls up and goes to sleep underneath a heating charm and Wei Wuxian’s threadbare toy demiguise (“What? I didn’t know if Jiang Cheng and I were going to be in the same dorm, and I was scared of getting lonely at night! I was eleven!”).

“Well, I’m going to have to,” Wei Wuxian replies carelessly, and shrugs. “Or it’ll die.”

“Its parents?” Lan Zhan asks and Wei Wuxian shrugs again.

“Didn’t seem to have any,” he says, quietly getting up and beckoning wordlessly for Lan Zhan to follow. “I waited an hour to see if one of them would come back, but nothing did, and it was crying, so.”

The moon is full and bright, providing ample light to guide their way back to the dormitories even now that all the lights have been put out.

“I did some reading in the library,” Wei Wuxian says around a yawn. “As it gets bigger, feedings will get less frequent. I don’t know what kind of bird it is, but it should only be like this for a couple of weeks, at most.”

Even for a couple of weeks, it’s not sustainable, Lan Zhan thinks when Wei Wuxian begins to list into his shoulder as they walk. He’ll have to leave halfway through every meal and risk getting caught by the other Prefects at night. He won’t be able to get enough sleep, which will affect his classwork, and, in turn, his learning, his grades, his disciplinary record-

“You can’t keep this up for that long,” Lan Zhan states firmly.

Wuxian groans. “I told you, Lan Zhan, I can’t just let it-”

“I’ll help you,” he says.

“You’ll - wait, really?”

-

They name it Little Apple because Wuxian says he's no fun.

("We should call it Little Ginseng, because that's what it looks like - bald and lumpy."

"...No.")

When it gets big enough to have a personality beyond eating and sleeping, Little Apple is surprisingly sweet. It loves: cuddles, being hand-fed and chasing after a love-knot tassel that Wuxian charmed to dance around in front of it.

It hates: eating by itself, being left alone for too long, cats (after Headboy Jin Guangyao's familiar somehow gets into the greenhouse and they have a very near miss), and Lan Zhan and Wuxian arguing.

It absolutely refuses to go to bed without being personally tucked in.

Soon, it starts to grow feathers; brown and grey patches of down sprouting all over its body, enough that they can stop renewing the heating charm.

It doesn't get less ugly.

("As its mother, even I think it's hideous. We should've called it Little Dustball, but it's too late now ")

They do, however, become very fond of it nonetheless.

("Hey, Lan Zhan, look, we learned manners today!"

Wuxian bows to Little Apple, who bobs its head unsteadily in return.

"-Lan Zhan, what's happening to your face? Lan Zhan? Lan Zhan, is that a smile?!")

-

They get caught.

"Wei Wuxian I expected no better of," his uncle growls after the greenhouse doors fly open to reveal his thunderous expression. "But Wangji, you are a prefect. I am deeply disappointed in you, sneaking off to the greenhouses at night to-"

Little Apple squawks. 

(Although its adult plumage has started to come in, there is no colour pattern that Lan Zhan can see; it has three red feathers on this wing, two on that one, small tufts of white in a patch on its belly and a scattering of green along its back.

“It’s … really not going to get better, is it?” Wuxian asks, sounding like he doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry.)

Lan Qiren stares.

-

"It's so…" his uncle says, still staring down at Little Apple, who squawks again and stares right back. "Ug-"

“Don’t listen to him, Little Apple!” Wuxian cries, hastily covering Little Apple’s ears with his hands. “It’s what’s on the inside that counts!”

-

And then one day Lan Zhan walks into the greenhouse and realises that Little Apple is ugly no longer.

Its wings are in fact red and black; red coverts edged with a line of striking black primaries and secondaries. A small plume of blue curls back off its forehead in a proud crest. The feathers on its back and shoulders are a shimmering emerald green, in some areas even tipped with gold, its belly is a soft pearlescent white, and its tail feathers are starting to lengthen into an impressive train.

Beside him, Wei Ying gasps and places a hand against his mouth, evidently coming to the same realisation. 

“Lan Zhan,” he says, deeply moved. “Our son is beautiful.”

-

It still can’t fly, though.

“I wonder if I should get my sword,” Wei Ying says, after an afternoon of running around flapping his arms has yielded no results beyond Little Apple having the time of its life chasing a new, human-sized tassel around the grounds like a particularly speedy chicken. 

He flops backwards onto the grass. Little Apple promptly jumps on top of his chest and starts to preen his hair.

"Or what if I flapped my arms and you Levitated me," Wei Ying wonders, squinting thoughtfully. With a lazy wave of his wand, he Levitates Little Apple, who squawks angrily in protest until it's brought back within range of his ponytail.

Lan Zhan takes the opportunity to re-tie the bandage on his wrist, and can’t help but hiss slightly when he has to unstick it from his burnt skin. It’s not a serious injury - a small graze from a ricocheted spell he’d been hit with between classes, while stopping an altercation in the hallway - but he hasn’t had the time to visit the infirmary to have it healed yet.

When he looks up, Little Apple is right in front of him, staring up with glistening eyes.

“Aw,” Wei Ying says, propping himself up on one elbow and looking enchanted.  “Look, Lan Zhan, he’s sad that his daddy’s hurt!”

Little Apple rests his face on Lan Zhan’s wrist for a moment, then sits back up and gives a self-satisfied squawk.

Lan Zhan looks down and finds that his wrist is fully healed.

“Huh,” Wei Ying says.

-

It turns out that they don’t need to worry about the flying, because the following week, Little Apple, eye caught by a firefly, simply spreads its wings, pushes off Wei Ying’s arm and takes off after it.

“Well,” Wei Ying begins after a moment of stunned silence. “I-”

Then Little Apple’s tail promptly bursts into flames and blazes a bright trail across the night sky.

“LAN ZHAN,” Wei Ying screeches, grabbing hold of Lan Zhan’s arm and shaking it. 

“LAN ZHAN, OUR SON IS A PHOENIX!”

-

There’s no keeping Little Apple in the greenhouse after that. It comes and goes as it pleases with the blessing of even Lan Zhan’s uncle, who is kept mollified by the fact that Little Apple is a phoenix, as well as the steady supply of tears and feathers for the school. 

Both Lan Zhan and Wei Ying take to leaving their bedroom windows ajar so that Little Apple can come in to roost at night when it returns, which it always does.

Until, one day, it doesn’t.

-

The next month, the Ministry announces that the Wizarding world is at war.

(And then, on a random morning after WWX comes back, there’s a tapping at the window of their shared bedroom, Lan Zhan gets up to investigate, and----!)

[egg-emperor]

☼ - appearance headcanon

I've had this in my inbox for a while now because I feel like it was the most vague prompt on the list. It could mean so many different things and I don't know which to discuss!

But I'm going with describing how I imagine Eggman's appearance throughout his life, since there's no right or wrong way to answer. It's an opportunity to describe it because I still have yet to finish and share art depicting my ideas for what he looked like/will look like.

When Ivo was a kid, I imagine that many of his features closely resembled his classic design. He never looked drastically different from it.

His face has always been round and his cute chubby cheeks were especially visible before he had his stache. His nose was never all that different in shape, (Idk why people change that, it doesn't make sense) just slightly in color. It wasn't as pink because his rosacea and other contributions to its color became more intense with age.

He's always been chubby and it's a common body type for Robotnik family men. But there's always a reason and for Ivo it was various aspects of his lifestyle that resulted in his weight. As for his limbs, they've always had the unique contrast of being more attenuated than expected. It's a unique Robotnik family genetics thing.

A lot of fan designs of Eggman as a kid to young adult include him having wild hair styles but I don't picture it looking too extreme. Just fairly simple, short most of the time, naturally parted, and not specifically styled to look a certain way. It ever looked anything like jimbotnik's because I don't feel like the style suits him.

His hair had quite a soft and fluffy feel to it like his stache does now. It would fluff up easily and look a bit scruffy. He didn't pay much attention and would leave it that way because it wasn't something he prioritized. He never had pride or attachment to his hair like he does with his stache, so it was easy for him to rid of it as an adult.

He used to have eyebrows! Despite both him and Gerald lacking them, I imagine he had them at some point but ended up losing them. I've never decided exactly when or how but it could've been because of an accident. Either way, they were gone by the time he lost his hair. It's a good thing he has expressive brow ridges. XD

Despite his height of 6' 1" now, he was pretty short throughout his childhood, even in some of his teen years. He didn't like how some people wouldn't take him seriously and would look down on him but he wasn't too worried or insecure because it's common for men in the Robotnik family to be big and tall, so he knew he'd catch up.

He was right, he had a growth spurt that surprised everyone because it was so fast and sudden that it seemed like it happened overnight. He even ended up being taller than his father ever was! His height then matched his confidence and ego, he enjoyed finally being the one to tower over others and make them feel small. He still feels that same power and pride in it to this day! XD

His weight only ever increased with his growth so he's always been round and chunky, never skinny and lanky. But he finds himself handsome and only cares about being comfortable in his body. With it being common in the family, nobody tried to make him feel bad for it. Perhaps they might have had something to say about him becoming the heaviest, but that was after he left to start his own life and he never saw them again.

Somewhere in his 20s or maybe early 30s, he started getting early signs of male pattern baldness. It was another expected genetics thing so the only part that surprised him was how early it was. Unlike his father who was desperate to maintain his hair, Ivo didn't really care much about his own. His father spent years trying to keep his, while Ivo didn't even bother trying to save it and just shaved his entire head.

He might have tried a couple of wigs in case a bold head didn't suit him but he quickly realized how he found them too uncomfortable and itchy. He also realized that bald is beautiful and embraced it. He still has a number of wigs for disguises and they always looks convincing so he could have hair if he wanted to. But they still make him itch and he thinks he looks much better without them now.

He'd already started growing a mustache before losing his hair because he always thought they were cool. A lot of the males in the family did with his grandfather and father having one too. When he still had hair and a smaller stache, he looked very similar to his father and some confused them with each other. He's always been up to sly trickery so he used it to his advantage at times for useful benefits in his father's business.

But after he shaved his head and started growing out his stache so it could be as magnificently big and fluffy as it is now, he soon had a lot more in common with his grandfather's appearance than his father's. Even more so when he changed his round glasses with arms and clear glass to his shaded pince-nez ones. He welcomed this because he idolized his grandfather but disliked his father.

I don't try to find a logical explanation for the way he changed shape from spherical to more of an egg shape from classic and modern, or the way he seemingly got taller during adulthood lol. I just see it as a design and style choice that doesn't need a story based explanation. No characters notice or acknowledge the changes in their appearance, kind of like how nobody in 06 did.

That was a summary of the progress behind his appearance up to the present! I have ideas for extremely specific extra details for his present look and how it changes, such as small things with his eyes and skin. But I've decided I'll get into that in the second ask of this same prompt I got. So stay tuned! For now, I'm going to move on to how he'll look in the future because I have a few more things to say about it!

When he gets even older, he'll go through quite a few drastic changes but he'll still just look like a slightly altered version of his present self.

The most visible sign of age besides his graying stache is his weight because of how his current almost ends up doubling. It's mostly because he dropped his exercise routine when he started to let himself get comfortable in his old age. He couldn't accept it immediately due to the judgement he knew he'd get but he learned to expect reactions and not take it to heart. The teasing still gets to him at times but he deals with it.

He also does end up losing some of his height. I still haven't decided how many inches he loses but it will at least noticable enough for people to point it out. This is extremely disappointing to him and he'll heavily deny it because he really doesn't want to accept it. Luckily he'll still have a decent posture because he tries hard to maintain it, so that helps him keep a bit of height.

His most noticable wrinkles will be those that are around his eyes and also his brow area because of how often it furrows. It's definitely another point of teasing for people but he doesn't care about the wrinkles on his face because what is he supposed to do about it? He doesn't try to cover it up. He's secretly a bit insecure of wrinkles he has in other places but most people don't get to see that.

Because he'll still be so hardworking, he'll be visibly affected more noticably after lack of sleep. The circles/bags under his eyes will become even darker and will be seen on most days. He often looks tired and pissed off but rest assured, he isn't always feeling as miserable and exhausted as he might appear. But it will seem to stand out even more prominently when he has a rough day.

It impressively takes a while for his stache to fully gray, despite his age and constant stress. But it doesn't take as long as it seems because he keeps trying to hide and even dye it. The hair comes in as a very dark gray at first and he really won't be happy with it. It will take a while for him to accept and embrace it, mostly because it's a sign of his mortality that makes him feel like he's 'running out of time' because he's dramatic like that.

But by the time his entire stache grays, it will look like more of a snowy white color with some slightly darker patches here and there. The rest of his body hair will look the same way, so he goes from a brown bear to a bigger polar bear! 💜 And while he'll still have his worries about aging and mortality, this is the point where he'll learn to embrace the affects that age has on his appearance and he stills finds himself as handsome as ever. 💕

[innenofutari]

On Goro Akechi’s morals and forgiveness (character analysis, but also just a very rambly post)

Akechi is… a very interesting character, I have no doubt about this. Also my favorite of course, if you hadn’t figured that out yet by this giant text you’re about to read (sorry). I have a lot I want to talk about in regards to him since he is so intriguing and we actually don’t have that much info about how his thought process works so it leaves a lot of room for speculation.

In any case, in this meta in specific I’m going to be talking about Akechi’s...morality(?), forgiveness and his relationship with regret. I’m not sure if that’s the best word to define this but I’ll roll with it for now. I’ll try to be fair and talk about things as I personally see them, it’s totally fine if you don’t share my views! Now, onto the actual meta.

Starting off, as people are obviously aware, Akechi is a morally gray character, a darker shade of, but he’s a sympathetic and tragic character nonetheless. That much is undeniable, he was written to be sympathetic, even if I’d argue Atlus did a pretty poor job of it in Vanilla (he was still my favorite ever since then though lol) but he’s reached his true potential in Royal, which makes me immensely happy to see. I get so unbelievably happy whenever I see people saying Royal changed their perception of him and started to like him more! But even then, there are a lot of people who just can’t forgive him for what he did, and that’s only natural. I personally think that, if you don’t try to sympathize with Akechi and truly, truly try to understand his mind and history, you’re doing him a huge disservice. But, forgiveness is something that everyone is free to think and decide if he deserves it or not. In Akechi’s case, I feel like forgiveness is something much more personal to the player, and this shows between the Phantom Thieves too.

There is a visual novel I hold very close to my heart called Umineko no Naku Koro Ni (which I’ll be quoting relentlessly throughout this entire post) that illustrates what I think better than I could put into words, so I’ll be quoting that scene with a few tweaks for better context:

“You said you understood the culprit’s motive.”

“...Yes.”

“Is that motive… a satisfying explanation for why they’d [commit murder]?!”

“Who knows. That’s for you to decide. Even if I say it’s satisfying, that doesn’t mean it will satisfy you. …You have to decide that for yourself.”

I really like this. It reminds me a lot of Akechi’s situation. I firmly believe that this has no “objective”, “most correct” answer to, just your personal feelings, which are the most important. I, as a player, do forgive Akechi, I want him to have a happy ending, another chance at life, manage to live happily with Akira and have some fun for once. That’s what “forgiveness” means to me in this situation, but while some people may empathize with Akechi, they still can’t forgive him. They think he should stay forever in jail or die since he cannot be redeemed in any way in their eyes. Where do I wanna go with this endless blabbering you ask, and I respond, I just want to try and see Akechi’s actions through two different lenses.

Well, I personally don’t like downplaying the crimes he committed and dumbing it down to “he was being manipulated” because, even if this is not false, it is not entirely correct either. Akechi is so fun to speculate about because he’s a character who is always clashing against himself in various ways as if he was in a constant state of internal turmoil, and this is not very different.

Akechi himself made the choice to go to Shido. It is extremely unlikely that he didn’t know he was going to be using his new powers for murder. He may have been very young, but despite the fact that he was a child forced to mature prematurely, he knew exactly which type of person Shido was. When he walked into that deal he was aware of the consequences and had fully made peace with the fact that he’d be taking another person’s life. Now, I’m not saying that Shido never manipulated him because he did, but not with that particular choice. 

This alone tells plenty about Akechi’s morals. I believe that Akechi indeed has some level of empathy for other people, but I sincerely doubt he feels especially bad about the Okumura-like people he had to kill. He might feel bad for the family of the victims or just feel nauseated with himself, however, he doesn’t regret a thing. As if he had grown numb to it. ...Until a certain point, that is, but I’ll talk about that later.

I would also like to elaborate further on Akechi’s continuous conflict with himself, and this particular piece of Maruki’s confidant immediately reminded me of this:

He’s talking about Akira here, but isn’t it interesting to note that Akechi’s internalized and externalized realities are, in contrast to Akira’s, the farthest they could possibly be from each other? His sense of justice, childlike desire to be loved and seen as a hero, in contrast to the cold-blooded murderer he had become? It’s like there are two people fighting it out inside of Akechi’s brain (lol) which must cause him a lot of distress. I don’t believe that Robin Hood is a ruse or that his Detective Prince façade is entirely fake. The way I see it, they are his ideal, which he strayed so far away from he lost grasp of who he himself is.

In my opinion, Akechi has never cared about fame the slightest bit, he used all of that as an opportunity to act out the person he wished he was, just and virtuous, while still being the feral murderer and bloodstained person he is today. These are two integral parts of him that he has never known how to reconcile. It’s interesting to note that in the third semester he was the one who since the beginning advocated firmly to return to the harsh reality but he had spent the entire game living in the comforting “detective prince” dream he made for himself until the engine room scene happened. 

With the third semester context, the engine room becomes so interesting because that scene is akin to Sumire finding out she’s not Kasumi. It’s a cold bucket of water thrown straight to Akechi’s face and telling him to wake up from this lie he made to comfort himself and face reality: he is no hero. Despite the fact that he is, too, a victim, he is simultaneously a murderer who perpetuated with the cycle of his father’s aggressions and he cannot escape that fact. Worse, he was being manipulated all along and his revenge plan and arguably his only reason to live AND justification for his actions was completely crushed.

Once again, this Umineko scene illustrates what I think Akechi’s situation up until that point was like:

Akechi rationalized every awful, inexcusable thing he did as, “It’s for my revenge’s sake” and ran with it. He was incredibly blinded by his hate and ignored the weight of the consequences of his actions up until that point where everything came crashing down right in front of his eyes. There is no excuse and no justification for that.

However, Akechi was also abused himself. There is no excuse for what he did, but is getting back at the person who took everything from him so reprehensible a thought? Is wanting justice against someone who essentially ruined your life not understandable? Many people like to say “cool motive still murder” or things of the like, but I’m asking you again to put yourself in his shoes.

Yet AGAIN with a Umineko screencap:

I played this the other day and one of the first things I thought of was Akechi. A lot of people draw parallels between Akechi and Adachi, but that’s just so damn wrong and make me lose my hair so much and become completely bald because that couldn’t be farther from the truth and I’m gently asking you to reconsider. In the pic above, Adachi would fit the “homicidal maniac” mentioned to a T, and while Akechi is by absolutely no means free of guilt and much less a stellar person, his crimes were moved completely by his heart. 

For the people who use his choice to become Shido’s hitman to say Akechi does not deserve any kind of forgiveness and that he’s a murderous maniac, I ask you to at least think of what state of mind he was at that moment. Think very hard about it, imagine how completely bleak life must have looked like then, to the point that he risked everything on murder.

This is nothing more than my speculation, but I believe Akechi’s thought process at that moment was something along the lines of, “I have nothing to lose since my (current) life is completely meaningless". It was as if he had reached such a numb state he chose to forgo all his morals and humanity in pursuit of at least one thing that would give his life meaning, that being his hate for Shido, which I also think was the only emotion he ever truly understood well ever since his mom passed.

Since Akechi is all about conflicting emotions though, I would also like to remind you how vulnerable Akechi really is to any kind of affection. His “childlikeness” that Robin Hood represents was, by all accounts, still there. Akechi has a desperate need to be loved while simultaneously putting up walls and wearing masks, making it extremely difficult to have any kind of meaningful relationship. This is something that Shido thoroughly takes advantage of, too.

That’s also why one of his lines to Akira hit so much harder for me, following this reasoning. “If only we had met a few years earlier,” expresses many emotions at once. If Akechi had known something other than misery and hatred during that period of his life he would not have latched so thoroughly to that revenge plan. Akechi simply had nothing to lose, since he had nothing at all.

I mentioned earlier that Akechi doesn’t regret a thing, which I still think it’s true. Before he had met Akira, he truly did not regret a thing, but meeting Akira caused him a lot of strife because not only Akira is a person whose whole existence flaunts everything Akechi could have had if he hadn’t fallen into fate’s trap, but Akechi also experiences happiness through his connection with Akira. Hanging out and talking to him truly makes him happy, and it’s something more genuine than he’s ever known. Yet, it’s too late, because his choices were already set in stone and he had already pulled the trigger with no way to take any of the bullets back.

That’s why Akechi is so confusing, so controversial and sometimes uncomfortable to think about. There is no clear line between good or bad, he just is something in the middle. Akechi is both a person who ruined a lot of people’s lives with no regard whatsoever to the consequences but also a victim rebelling and retaliating against the person who took everything from him and made his life a living hell. That’s why it’s so hard for not only some players to form opinions about him but also downright uncomfortable for the Phantom Thieves to think about. There is no objectively best answer for what he deserves. It just doesn’t exist. Should he spend the rest of his life in jail, or dead, because his crimes were inexcusable? Or should he be given another chance at life to learn to be happy? It’s entirely subjective, and that’s why he’s so great to think or discuss about. 

Aaand that’s it, I’m grateful you read so far, hope I didn’t piss anyone off, also not gonna pretend this wasn’t very self indulgent because of the amount of times I quoted Umineko in it. Anyways, thank you!

SIDE NOTE: I didn’t write this recently, it had been sitting on my drafts for some months now and I found it again today and decided to just release it into the wild because why not? I think this was meant to be much longer than it is and to elaborate more eloquently on a lot of points I brought up (like the PT with Akechi) but alas, I lost the train of thought and so it Perished.

[saladejin]

Solace (M) | 01

4-part Jimin x Reader | fantasy au, school au, magic user!Jimin | Fluff, angst (basically unresolved), smut with some plot 

Summary: Why not spice up your high school life with a teleporting boy of your very own? You find yourself not having a choice in the matter.

While he figures out how to fix his mistakes, strap yourself in for an adventure to remember…

Warnings: Kat’s early ass writing, nothing smutty in the first chapter (bear with me, it gets there lol). 

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 2.7k - first chapter

A/N: Okay, okay. As much as I wanted to edit the absolute shit out of this, and make it 10x better, I stopped myself. This was one of the first smut pieces I ever wrote, and it’s quite old, but I really wanted to have some of my older/first-time writing on the blog so that I could have something to look back on and - better yet - improve from! 

I want to look back on it and just think ‘wow, this is absolute trash’, but in a good way. Ya know?

I apologise in advance, yet at the same time I’m hoping some of you out there might find some enjoyment :) 

»»————- << masterlist | next >> ————-««

  If someone had asked you if you believed in magic a year ago, you would have answered ‘no’ without batting an eyelid. It was simply illogical and plain wrong on so many levels to think greater forces out there actually existed. 

Children’s storybooks, fairy-tales, and fictional novels were already out there appealing to the fantasy-ridden minds of the human race, to name a few. So nope, you would never allow yourself to foolishly believe in such silly myths.

Or so you thought. 

Reader’s POV - 2nd Person

“As you can see, this historical movement meant…”

You sighed. Over time, drowning out your teacher’s monotonous voice had become much too easy for your liking. You listened to the whispers and soft giggles of your classmates as they all mucked around and paid little to no attention to the lesson taking place.

The year is only halfway done. Should I consider transferring schools?

This place had taught you nothing for the five years you had been here. High school was something that was originally meant to be an ocean of opportunities waiting to be discovered, but now it seemed like a mere wasteland holding no promise for the future; well for your future anyway.

“Does anyone have any questions?” Your teacher droned, looking at everyone over the rim of his glasses as if daring someone to waste his precious time.

Yeah, what’s the point of being here?

You tapped your pencil absent-mindedly against the lined paper in front of you.

“(Y/n),” Your class friend whispered to you from the seat beside yours. You raised an eyebrow at her with a bored eye roll as she pursed her lips guiltily and glanced at your tapping pencil.

“Do you know what he’s been talking about for the last half hour?”

You almost laughed. “Does anyone?” came the scoff from your lips almost instantly. Your friend stifled her smile with one hand so she didn’t draw any unwanted attention to the two of you.

“You’re right, but I also want to pass this exam coming up. How are we meant to do well here?” She asked with a light growl edging her tone. You could only shrug in response, because the answer was also lost on you and had been for as long as you could remember.

“Tell you what, we should get everyone together and come up with a plan to get him fired,” Your eyes lit up, hands suddenly clasping together as the brilliant idea blurted from your mouth. Your friend looked like she was about to whoop for joy and agree with you, but an obnoxious voice cut her off rudely.

“Miss (Y/n), do you have something to share?” The teacher wore his stern expression, eyes flashing with irritation as he stared you down with menace. You felt the anger burning hotter and hotter the more you looked at his punchable face.

Oh, I’m about to tell you exactly what we were talking about you piece of shit.

You were about to stand up and lay it on him, but something interrupted your outburst. Your classmates shifted their attention from you to the strangely flickering lights on the ceiling. Everyone fell silent as the excitement from seeing their teacher get sassed died down, the atmosphere was eerie as the room suddenly became very chillingly cold.

“Who’s playing a prank? Show yourselves before you get punished even worse,” The teacher shouted into the stagnant air. Nobody answered to him or his threat.

“What’s going on? Is it that kid from the other class messing with us again?” Your friend clicked her tongue while gradually moving to cling onto your arm. You barely felt her touch due to the intense amount of goosebumps travelling along your exposed skin. Students begun to question things loudly and the nerves shook their voices as the weird power outages continued.

“It’s probably just the building’s power. Can we get help from the office?” One boy asked your scowling teacher after a few minutes.

“Yes, that’s probably a good idea,” The bald man shook his head and finally walked towards the closed door of the classroom to check for any tricksters.

Before the boy or anyone else could make a move to get help, the flickering stopped and the temperature seemed to return to normal. Everyone exchanged confused glances until the weirdest spectacle of all occurred right near the teacher’s desk.

A body appeared from literal thin air and landed heavily on the carpet below. There was a muffled groan from the figure and the room filled with gasps and shouts of alarm as the person sat up straighter. It was definitely male, seemingly Asian and probably the same age as you. You blinked your eyes rapidly as you tried to comprehend what had just happened.

“You! Were you playing this prank?” Your teacher screeched as he turned around. He hadn’t seen what had happened, but had heard everyone’s shock and responded immediately.

You watched in amazement as the randomly appearing boy lifted his head and furrowed his brows in confusion. When you looked closer, you could see his chocolate brown eyes gleaming with fear.

He knows just as much as we do…how did this happen?

You being the courageous person you were, got to your feet and stepped around the table tentatively. You didn’t want to approach him just yet because you didn’t know if he was dangerous. Your teacher continued to yell at the boy as you drank in his beautiful night-black hair and perfectly even complexion. You realised just how attractive this person was, but those thoughts had to be swept aside as you recognised the pure terror flooding his gaze.

“I don’t know what’s happening! Please help me, I don’t know where I am,” The boy finally spoke. Well, he spoke, but in flawlessly fluent Korean…

What the-

Your classmates threw even more concerned glances at one another while your teacher just stood still, fully stunned. They hadn’t understood a single word, but you had.

“(Y/n) sit back down, he could hurt you!” Your friend hissed, and you jumped when she grasped at the bottom of your school dress to bring you backwards. The movement caused the strange but beautiful boy to whip his head around in your direction. He was only wearing a casual white t-shirt and loose grey pants with no shoes, but everything looked a little dirtied. How exactly had he appeared here of all places? By what method?

“Hello,” You murmured shakily in his language and squatted down to seem less threatening. You had to muster up what scraps of Korean you knew, as you were known to be the language-centric person of your year level. It was one of your favourite things to do, learn languages, but you never thought it would come in handy for a situation such as this.

“Hello? Do you know Korean?” The boy breathed in a sudden gush of hope and relief. You could’ve sworn tears were pricking at the corners of his eyes, but you weren’t judging because he seemed so lost and scared. You stood up again as he hurriedly got to his feet, his hands trembling and gaze darting around the room from one student to the next.

“I’m calling the principal, we need to figure out what is going on!” Your teacher spluttered before racing from the room, a few pieces of paper from his desk fluttered to the ground as the air rushed past. A few students followed the teacher, and their gazes were terrified from the weird events. You tried to breathe deeply.

“H-how did this happen? I want to be home, argh why did I try that fucking spell?!” The boy cried angrily as he stumbled until his back hit the classroom wall. He buried his fingers painfully deep into his hair and keeled over. You raised your hands, not knowing what to do or how to act. You wanted to help him, but was that okay? Should you even be going near something so strange and unpredictable?

“(Y/n) do you know that language? Maybe you should say something else?” Your friend whimpered from behind you. She had gathered nearby with the other remaining students whose curiosity had gotten the best of them. You felt the overwhelming pressure envelop you whole as your eyes trailed from the group of familiar faces to the frustrated boy.

I have to help him. It’s not something evil, I can tell.

He looked so out of place here, you could see he didn’t have a single clue about what had happened. You carefully moved towards him while ignoring the loud warnings of your friends behind you. You had to know what was happening, and you had to make sure he was okay.

“Um, hello. Who are you?” You asked in Korean, standing in front of him but not too close. You could be as brave as you wanted, but you didn’t want to die just yet.

The boy looked up, his red-rimmed and puffy eyes were the only evidence left of his overpowering emotions. Now he just looked empty with disbelief and shaky with apprehension.

“I’m Park Jimin, just Jimin I guess,” He answered, voice broken and cracking. He seemed weary and emotionally exhausted after all the disorder. You felt seriously bad for him, but still didn’t know how to approach the situation. The only reason all of the responsibility dumped itself onto you was because of your particular skill with language.

“You? What’s your name?” He asked unexpectedly. You looked up from the ground with raised eyebrows, shocked to see that he had taken a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He even managed to smile for a solid second before his full lips pulled into a frown once more.

“Uh, (Y/n). I’m (Y/n), and this is my school,” You tried to explain with your musty skills. He seemed vaguely amused with you, but the humour was lost underneath his crushing anxiety and fear of the unknown. You caught the way he observed you as if he had just seen you for the first time. You could only hope your hair wasn’t too messy.

“This is (Y/c), but how did you get here?” You questioned while using one pointed finger to emphasise what you were asking. He started to explain something quickly, but you only managed to translate a few of the words in your head. He was growing agitated fast, and you regretted asking immediately.

“Hey, hey! Calm down Jimin,” You soothed to the best of your ability, reaching out to touch him but jerking your hands back when you thought about what you were doing. You took one step backwards and sighed, wishing this had never happened.

“Sorry,” He apologised softly.

Before you could protest, your teacher burst into the room with the principal hot on his heels. A few other members of the school’s authority followed, and you winced when you thought about how scary and intimidating the whole thing looked. You turned around just in time to see Jimin’s eyes flashing with more fear.

“It’s okay, they’re okay. They’re teachers, they’ll help you,” You comforted and actually brought one hand up to touch his shoulder. The contact was brief but it seemed to ease some of his worries. He flashed you such an immensely grateful look that your mind short-circuited suddenly. He was really, really handsome.

“Please come here,” Your principal commanded, and to your surprise Jimin looked like he understood to an extent. He pushed off the wall to obey, but looked back as if asking for you to come with him, to be his solace through this hell.

“Do you need someone to help translate and everything?” You piped up hopefully, but you completely expected to be met with the cold hardened stares of the teachers and principal.

“No, we’ll be fine,” The principal assured with a clipped tone, eyeing Jimin as if he were a dirty rag on the side of the street. You clenched your teeth in anger as the party of teachers left with the boy in tow. He saw your frustrated and guilty expression, but only flashed you an understanding smile before leaving the room.

He seems so kind-hearted, I wish he would be treated better. I hope he figures out his shit.

You felt upset, but didn’t know why since you had literally barely met the guy. In all honesty, you should still be scared of him just like everyone else was, but you just weren’t.

“Girl, are you okay? At least that weird person didn’t attack you,” Your friend shook her head in disbelief. The other students dispersed back to their seats and you only noticed then that the rest had returned when the teachers had arrived. Everyone was back and chatting about the strange happening animatedly.

“He wouldn’t. Didn’t you see him? He seemed so afraid, but he was kind,” You argued. You felt angry that nobody seemed to be feeling sorry for Jimin. He was the one that deserved to be scared, not any of you or the teachers.

“I don’t know how you got all that from the small conversation you had, but I guess whatever you say,” Your friend shrugged.

As things seemed to return to normal, you couldn’t push your concerns for the boy out of your mind. Was he okay? What if those cold-hearted teachers shipped him away somewhere just because he couldn’t properly explain how he’d appeared? He could quite easily be sent to the police, or eventually a random orphanage.

“Are you still thinking about him? I’ll admit he was pretty handsome, but that was way too weird! I mean didn’t he just randomly appear in this room?” Your friend grunted, her tone raising as she tried to convince you to think of something else.

“I don’t know!” You widened your eyes, feeling slightly irritated that you couldn’t know absolutely everything, yet you were still expected to. Maybe coming from a family of lawyers did that to you.

Everyone fell silent again and you jerked your head towards the door impatiently. The teachers filtered back in with Jimin, but you blinked firmly when you saw that the boy was dressed in the uniform of your school. His hair was a little neater than when he had appeared, and his eyes were now crinkling along with the striking smile he wore.

“Everyone, please welcome Jimin Park to your class. I’m sure you will all treat this new transfer student with care,” The principal eyed everyone pointedly, just as she usually did, but you sat further backwards in your chair in bewilderment.

“Why-”

“I’m glad to meet you…all. I am (Y/n)’s family friend,” Jimin cut you off and spoke with a broken accent, which in all honesty you and many others found to be adorable.

Wait, my family friend?

You widened your eyes and brought your brows together in sheer confusion. Did you just hear that right? You were about to open your mouth to question him when he flashed you a knowing look. It was a warning, a warning to keep your mouth shut.

“I’m…not good at English. I will try my best, thank you,” He finished and instinctively tried to bow, soon straightening as he remembered he wasn’t in Korea anymore.

“Oh, so this is the dad’s friend’s son you always talk about. Wow, he’s handsome!” Your friend whispered to you with a tiny giggle. You looked at her in shock, mouth hanging slightly open as you tried to grasp what was happening.

The principal left as Jimin moved forward to take the empty seat right next to you. You threw him a glare that demanded an explanation, but you knew it would need to wait for later because your asshole of a teacher was about to start class again.

“Sorry, when we get home I will talk,” Jimin muttered in Korean, leaning towards you so that no-one would overhear. Not that it would matter since you were the only one who could possibly understand him anyway.

“Um, ‘we’? I don’t remember my home being yours too,” You choked out, not even caring if he understood or not.

To sum it up, a random boy had landed in your classroom, caused the whole class and its teacher to freak out, and had then proceeded to alter everyone’s memories somehow.

You were in for one hell of a ride.

           Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.

[singeramg]

Midnight : Chapter 1

Pairing: Clark Kent / Black!OFC

Universe: DCMCU

Rating: The story will definitely be a M. Just not for a few chapters yet.

Warnings: Ummm, Nothing much for this chapter. 

Summary: When Gia, a Metahuman by force, left Metropolis, she vowed to never come back because nothing was there for her anymore. Secret in tow, she’s stayed out of the way of anyone that could destroy the life she’s built for herself. What happens when the Justice League needs her help reviving the one man she vowed to never see in the flesh again?

A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first time writing anything in DCMCU. I just had this plot bunny that wouldn’t go away. So if anything is wrong or off then idk what to tell you. As far as I know my character and her powers are original. Anywho, I hope you like this, please give me some feedback and let me know if you want more!

Midnight: Chapter 1

 I had taken more hits than I had been used to in my short time as a superhero, I could feel the fist coming toward me and ducked resulting in my attacker hitting his no-good buddy in the face. The sound of his nose breaking gave me furthermore proof of the force behind his punch. I used the distraction to kick the legs out from under the bald attacker while his friend grabbed his nose in pain. Another ran toward me, attempting to charge me, but I was quicker. Using my built up kinetic energy from taking various hits I expelled it from my body, sending all three attackers into the ally’s dirty brick wall, leaving them all unconscious.

 I huffed, finally letting the exhaustion out in deep breaths. The woman I had saved from an attack was also unconscious, having passed out due to her presumed injuries, but I was grateful that she was safe. It had been at least 4 years since I fought like that, and I was a long way from Metropolis. I conjured my bag from whatever dimension I stored it in when I heard the woman in distress, pulling out my cell phone, in my best worried and distraught voice I begged the police to hurry, there had been an attack but the men responsible were being held. With an unnatural leap, I landed on the fire escape above and then climbed up just enough to see but not be seen, adding a force-field to protect the young woman from harm, should the robbers wake up before she did.

The cops arrived fairly quickly and arrested the criminals, and leaving me relaxed as I  ran and jumped across the building tops, until  I landed on the roof of my shoddy but livable building. Scaling down, I waved my hand over my body, skin tight black and gray suit disappearing and matching face mask along with it , leaving distressed, dark washed jeans, and black sleeveless crop top. The high ponytail and makeup never left my face so I looked like I had just come home from working one of my jobs at the local bar. It was exactly what I had been doing before I head the noises that lead to my intervention.

 Soreness from that level of exertion had begun to set in as I climbed the steps to my fourth floor apartment.  I opened the door, a small smile on my face as my neighbor, a friendly, and gentle woman in her 70s slept in my dark grey recliner (never mind I had gotten it just for her sake.) the tv replaying the news, despite it being so late. 

 “Ms. Alphonse, I am home.”

 I said gently shaking her, she jumped slightly and smiled once she realized who had been shaking her.

“Oh goodness me, Tiffany  you scare me every time you do that, how in the world are you so quiet?”

I chuckled, tossing my purse on the nearby couch.

“Guess I’m just good at it. How did tonight go?” I asked her, picking up the leftover plates off of my kitchen table in the small space. She stood and stretched, a small yawn followed, as she began to look for her keys.

“As always, a little angel. Gave me a little push back about dinner, but still well behaved.”

I nodded and smiled.

 “Good, did you leave your shopping list for me? I’ll be headed out tomorrow to do the weekly run.”

She moved to her purse and hands me a wad of cash and a piece of paper. I quickly try and hand the money back.

 “Now, Ms. A. You know this is too much! Plus I owe you for the week anyway.”

 “I told you as long as I’m breathing your money's no good with me. Plus me and the youngster are going to need some snacks for our movie night next weekend.”

I laughed, sticking her list and the money in my purse. 

“Fine, but please let me know if you need anything else this week from anywhere and I’ll be sure to get it for you.”

 “I am just grateful I don’t have to climb the steps with these knees being the way they are with bags of groceries. You are a godsend child.”

 She touches my face, it’s still a little sore from a blow I took earlier, but I do my best not to let it show. Somehow she knows it there, and her caress, dark and  withered against the caramel of my skin is cooling and comforting. Reminding me of a comfort long since lost to me. 

 “Sweetheart, you be careful out there.”

 I knew she had no way of knowing about my long since abandoned- recently-revived for one night alter-ego but somehow I felt she knew something was amiss. She didn’t push me however and left it at that.

 “Always Ms. A.”

 “Good. Now I’m going to go rest in my own bed. That chair is lovely but I need to stretch out.”

 I laughed at the dramatic way she cracked her back and walked her to the front door, then watched her walk down the hall to her door, making sure she got in and locked the door behind her , before I did the same. 

I sighed, resolving to do the dishes in the morning, I took my hair down, and walked to the back of my apartment. Stopping at a semi-closed door, gently pushing it open with my hand.

My heart always clenched looking at this little human. I could feel the energy of his heart beat pulsing as he rested so peacefully, not having any cares in the world. At peace knowing his mom would protect him from anything set out in the world to  hurt him. 

At least the best I could. I would do anything to protect him, even if that meant taking him away and hiding him. I left Metropolis before he had been born, vowing that no one would hurt my child in the ways I’d been hurt, no one would come after him because of his parentage, because no one knew he existed outside of being the son of a exhausted- young single mother named Tiffany March. He was Kyle March  and would stay that way for as long as I was alive. 

I hung up my alter-ego Midnight, a long time ago.

 Nobody would know that Kyle March and Tiffany March were not our real names at all.

 No one would know that Kyle was not fully human. 

 No one would know that Kyle was now the last child of Krypton due to the death of his father.

 No one could ever know that he was the Son of Superman...

A/N: SO I TRULY BELIEVE THIS FEELS MORE LIKE A PROLOGUE BUT DAMN ITS GOING TO BE CHAPTER 1 LOL

Thank you for reading and for your continued support...

[thatbrontide]

1:  Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer? Couch. I am bony. 

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why: Both bc he came too fast, which he said was by accident, and maybe it was, but  it felt fucked up. Good bc I deeply needed intimacy and it was otherwise decent. He kisses well. Also I blocked him about a week afterward bc I realized he’s an asshole. 

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed: Kristen Wiig in Hateship Loveship. 

4: Something that never fails to make you horny: A hot guy being nice af. 

5: Where is one place you would never have sex: I’m pretty adventurous, so idk. I’d prefer to not fuck in a family member’s bed, but you could pay me to do it. 

6:  The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when: I don’t really feel awkward during sex. Maybe a burning dildo. It had deteriorated an I didn’t know they did that. Sorry about that burning asshole I caused. 

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny: sock garters?

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone:  shibari/kinbaku

9: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other: rope

10: What is the fastest way to make you horny: OTK spanking

11: Top or bottom? both

12: Fill in the blanks: We were about to cum but then people showed up to church 

13: Would you ever take a sexual enhancement drug? Poppers or X, I guess? Nope. I prefer sober sex. 

14: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary? Depends. 

15: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: books about codependence

16: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you: Nothing weird. 

17: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex: I like having a big dick in my mouth and that I’m good at it. I used to adore being face-fucked. I have sucked a dick of someone who could not stay hard, which is the worst possible thing. Don’t act like it makes sense for someone to suck your dick if you don’t maintain an erection. Fuck you. 

18: Weirdest sexual act some has performed  on/with you: This fucking guy and I were hanging out naked after sex and he came over to me and basically started humping me like a dog. It was awful. Other than that, probably knife play, which was extremely fun. (not blood play)

19: Have you ever tasted yourself? I can’t believe anyone doesn’t. 

20: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: Of course, if he’s good at pulling out on time and it’s monogamous and we’ve both been tested. 

21: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had? Sexiest was probably this history teacher in high school, but he turned out to be racist. Most attractive was an acting instructor I had. I had a problem being around him, it was rough. 

22: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: Noooope. 

23: How big is too big (peniswise): I have yet to encounter one that was too big. 

24: One sexual thing you would never do: A race fantasy. Like if a guy who’s black wanted me to call him the N word or do racial master-slave shit. 

25: Biggest turn on: communication, but not too sincere and not too buzzwordy. Ugh. 

26: Three spots that drive you insane: On me? nipples, kiss on forehead, being held at the upper rear thigh, or where the crotch meets the thigh when I’m being eaten out

27: Worst possible time to get horny: during a pandemic, when depressed, at work

28: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans: absolutely. 

29: Worst sexual idea you ever had: Being too open with my kinkiness with someone much less experienced. I should have taken it slowly. 

30: How much fapping is too much fapping: maybe 5 times a day is too much. I don’t know if I could do more than twice a day. 

31: Best sexual compliment you ever got: He cried it was so good. I’ve been told that I’m the best head they’ve gotten, best kisser they’ve kissed, best sex they’ve had... 

32: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji: depends on my mood and whom I’m dating

33: Is it good sex if you don’t nut: Not usually. It can be sweet or intimate, but that’s just good intimacy, not good sex. Like if someone started crying and we stopped, for example. The sex is no longer important. 

34: Fill in the blanks: “If they come first, we are over.” lol

35: What your favorite part of your body: I have nice boobs, but idk. 

36: Favorite foreplay activities: um... making out? being eaten out? 

37: Love (>,<, or =) Sex I reject the premise. 

38: What do you wear to bed? leggings and a t-whirt and socks. Sometimes just boy shorts

39: When was the first time you masturbated: 13 or 14, but I didn’t know how to do it, so I didn’t cum until my bf ate me out when I was 17. He taught me how to masturbate, basically, and I needed to think about him to do so successfully. 

40: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? Eh. 

41: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? It was probably 2009. The guy was a permaculturist 7 years older than I was and had somehow never fucked outside. He was so excited. I miss outdoor sex. I liked fucking him. 

43: Have/would you ever had a threesome? I did once. Hated it. Would realy love to never do it again. 

44: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? A jumbo carrot. 

45: Have/would you ever masturbate at work? No. I don’t think that’s okay, and would judge anyone who did it, unless they had PGAD or something. 

46: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane? No. I don’t get the mass appeal. I would, but who cares. 

47: What is one song you’d like to have sex to? FLOTUS

48: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny? I’m not sure. Someone I like being genuinely nice to ppl is one. 

49: Most attractive celebrity? Bill Hader? That drag photo shoot of him kills me. 

50: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? Not usually. I used to, but mostly for educational purposes. 

51: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now? About two months old. It’s rough out here. 

52: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online? I hope not. 

53: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny? “Cum for me,” and I’m sure myriad others things guys think are hot to say. 

54: Do you have stretch marks? just a few on my butt

55: How do you feel about your stretch marks? don’t care. 

56: Has anyone ever had a problem with your stretch marks? That would be ludicrous. They could leave. 

57: Do you like giving head? (why/why not) I fucking love i if I love the person or in the rare situation that they have a big dick and we have great chemistry. 

58: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? They are fine. It depends on the tattoos. Some ppl have awful tattoos that I’d have to actively ignore the whole time. 

59: How would you feel about taking someone’s virginity? I’m not sure. I’m mostly attracted to ppl like 10 years older than I am, so I’d be okay doing it w someone who’s fully not even a young adult. The circumstances under which I’d want to would be unlikely, though. 

60: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? Any and all food. No thank you. 

62: Do you own any sex toys? Which ones? nipple clamps, vibrator, dildo, flogger. 

64: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery? Yes.

65: Would you rather be a pornstar or discreet sex worker? Depends on what kind of sex worker. idk. 

66: Do you watch porn? Every once in a while, and only when I’m too unimaginative

67: How small is too small? Haven’t had it happen, so idk. 

68: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? Sure. I’m kinkier than most ppl. 

69: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything? The last guy I fucked, who I blocked on my phone. It meant that we were both horny/lonely during a pandemic

71: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? Not at all. I don’t know how vagina-owners don’t mind a vaginal fluid straight onto their pants. 

72: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? Nope

73: If you could give yourself head, would you? It kind of saddens me to think about that. I’d probably try once, and maybe until I felt like I’d be good at doind it to someone else. 

74: Booty or Boobs? I’m not gay enough for this question. Probably boobs. 

75: If you had a penis, what would you name it? I hate when ppl name body parts and cars. It’s dumb. 

76: Have you ever been on an official date? Of course. 

77: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) Kind of. I made out with a member of my favorite band when I was 19 bc I thought I couldn’t miss the opportunity. He invited me on his tour bus but I couldn’t “fully” cheat. 

78: If you were a stripper, what would your name be? It’s a secret

79: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?) I haven’t. You could pay me to, but I don’t rly want to. Part of me also kind of doesn’t care. Like in sitcoms when ppl are like “Ew! You had sex on the chair I’m sitting in?” Who cares, it’s not like you’re sitting in a puddle of jiz. 

80: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed? I would be v surprised bc they hate each other and prob haven’t had sex in at least 30 years. 

81: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina? I remember seeing my brothers, and thinking it was funny. I just remember being in a locker room when I was maybe 8 and seeing women’s crotches and noticing they were all different. I don’t think I looked at my own until I was like 14, so I wasn’t worried about it. 

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x04

Well now, we’ve hit a rather interesting point in the season now haven’t we? Can you say DRAH-MAH. This week’s episode, ‘An Inside Glob’, sees the tension that’s been mounting in the first three episodes of season 6 reach boiling point. And then boil over. Into a restaurant full of onlookers. Then onto Reddit. Lol. Now I may be biased because of my love of Miriam Shor (or I am simply an appreciator of good directing when I see it), but this week’s ep was so well put together, it felt like there was ample room for each scene to breathe and the pacing overall felt significantly less frantic than it sometimes does. There was a familiarity, for lack of a better word, about the structure and the feel of this ep, not to mention the writing left me legit laughing out loud many times throughout. The writers are bringing it this season. We also see the welcome return of two faves: Charles’ three-piece suit and Liza’s silver-suit power-tude. Let’s dive on in.

You always know it’s going to be a good ep when it opens with a loft heart-to-heart between Liza and Maggie, but not before Liza meets Maggie’s new boo Beth (with Liza’s ‘ew’ and hand wiping after Maggie tells her they just finished a session equal parts gold and gross). Their whole interaction, from the ‘I promise not to call him Chaz’ (was anyone else hoping she would call him Chaz, because I was HANGING for a Chaz drop at dinner. There’s still time...), to Liza sharing her concerns that Charles is secretly financing a new company and Maggie trying to justify all the coincidences and reassure her, it was just premium bff content. Not to mention a great set-up for the episode and follow on from the last one.

Liza continues to try and allay her suspicions about Charles by getting Kelsey’s view of the funding source after the morning meeting with my new fave power-trio (quick poll: Zane always looking like a dog who just ate your pizza - accurate or nay?) and Diana brings the top quality delivery of one liners right from the get-go as we’re introduced to this week’s author, Bronwyn Madigan (aka, the cash cow whose milk Millennial could use...yes, D. Trout, you did need to say that). Apparently baby boomers like to top off their reading of erotica with a good meatloaf (actual meatloaf, get your minds out of the euphemistic gutter) and that is now two foodstuffs I have a strained relationship with following this ep of Younger. Liza is able to quash her spidey senses re: the Mercury money briefly, as Kelsey reveals she’s been doing some digging and discovered the company is operating out of the financial district, therefore obviously it’s a big media company behind it. Obviously...

Lo and behold Kelsey marches her feisty self down to the Mercury office to confront Zane and weaves through hopeful start-up founders in a co-working space to find him (also, are AirPods a pre-req to land a job at Mercury?). Their entire exchange had a couple of ‘whoa’ moments for me. Exhibit A, when discussing how Zane secured Audrey Colbert’s book:

Kelsey: ‘So you slept with her? God, that is completely unethical. And so creepy”

Zane: ‘But it’s fine when you do it?’

File under: T for TRUTH. Not gonna lie, I almost applauded. I would have filed under H for Hypocrite except the next part of the conversation, in which Kelsey throws the accusation that Zane went after Audrey because he knew she was (and I’m with Zane on this one, she is going to need to learn to suck it up when Millennial loses out on books, our pal Kels is on one steep learning curve), followed with, ‘that book was important to me and you knew it’, goes straight to the H folder. How does Zane know it? Could it be because Kelsey told Zane she was going after Audrey’s book? Even after he told her he had a job, that he was just waiting for everything to line up and considering his history of swooping in and being competitive? While they are not fully comparable situations, I found this a bit rich considering the grief Kelsey gave Liza for discussing business with Charles (I get that was her insecurity and feeling he would interfere), when her discussions with Zane have seemingly led him to going after this book. Which is 100% in character for him btw.

I have been liking a lot of Kelsey’s boss moments this season but this week it certainly felt like she was in way over her head. At her lunch with Lauren, yet another combo I thoroughly enjoy on my screen, we once again see Lauren being the relentlessly supportive friend she always is and educating Kelsey on the dos and don’ts of dating apps (surely Kelsey knew that deleting an app doesn’t delete your profile right??? Putting it down to stress amnesia). Pointing out that putting your job title on your dating profile if it is in any way a potential threat to male ego is a big no-no (’this kind of over-accomplishment only works if you’re trying to pick up women’), Lauren offers up that Kelsey suffers from BDE. Of course we later discover that rather than big dick energy, Kelsey is suffering bald dude energy, confirmed by her alopecia diagnosis. I did so enjoy Kelsey’s dramatic reactions, ‘just keep an eye out ok?’, to the whole ordeal and it certainly added another element to the rising tension.

Cue hilarious conversation with Diana about her own battle with hair loss (not on her head) along with the rest of her ailments (shingles seems to be a running theme this season. Did someone in the writers room have a shingles flair up recently after reading a particularly terrible autobiography or suffer month-specific breakouts aka Diana’s electric tube top? Need to know). Even though it was not making Kelsey feel better necessarily, this was Diana being supportive in her own way and I am just here for it every day of the week. I think what I enjoyed most about the office scenes in this episode, aside from every single line that came out of Diana’s mouth, were the moments that were reminiscent of the old office dynamic. From Diana bleating ‘Liza’ as she enters Liza’s office (still can’t believe that’s a thing) with the idea of advertising erotica on the bike kiosks to the sarcasm when Liza asks ‘Bronwyn’s?’ and Diana responds with ‘no, my own’. We finally get to meet author of ‘The Seasoned Slut’ (loving the guest casting this season btw) who oozes a self-assurance that only serves to emphasise her reason for not re-signing with Millennial: that her problem ‘is with the lack of value placed on experience’. Ugh, I loved this line. 

I loved it because it is an absolute reality, especially for women in the workplace, and goes hand in hand with the ageism this show’s entire premise was built upon. I loved it because this show tells us that experience is and should be valued through Zane’s comment in episode one, that Kelsey should not lose Diana as she is the best in the business and Kelsey telling Diana that she values and respects her. And I loved this line because the set-up for this season remains true to the original premise and challenges it at the same time, taking another look at the role age/experience and gender play in success and reinventing yourself. Did I mention I love this show?

Liza’s reaction to the question of ‘where is the grey hair in the room?’ was also noted, a nice reminder that the age-lie is still in play and is never far from the surface. The other thing I loved in the meeting with Bronwyn was Diana’s horror that she a) might be considered the demographic for her books and b) ‘do people think I’m her age?’ I cannot imagine a time I will ever watch this line and not roar with laughter. I also love that that was the main takeaway Diana had from the whole BJ comment this woman just casually dropped in as she exited, you know, as one might mention they know a great bagel place you might enjoy nearby. 

Josh’s parenting journey continues to unfold as he gets his first overnight stay with Gemma, but not before experiencing some kind of parental rite of passage and being squirted in the face with breast milk. I know there is a lot of mistrust of Clare out there in the internet but I will keep saying this week after week, I am so enjoying seeing Josh and Clare navigating this modern-day parenting arrangement together. I appreciate Josh’s desire to be there for both Clare and Gemma in any way he can and I appreciate that Clare appears to be open and wanting the same. I am not the biggest fan of baby storylines in general but I tell you what, to see Lauren pacing up and down cradling this little person, I am 100% pro-baby. This is one of my favourite moments of the whole episode and just when I thought there couldn’t possibly be any more layers to Lauren Heller, I get the up-all-night-with-crying-baby Lauren and I simply cannot: ‘I have been up all night with a crying baby. Why? I don’t know, because the rest of you either don’t have ears or you don’t have souls’. Early contender for line of the season. Kelsey’s bag-of-hair inducing scream finally wakes Josh and Lauren’s reaction, for him to ‘get it together man, Kelsey doesn’t need this’, epitomises Lauren’s selfless nature (which I just love as it seems so contradictory to her sometimes self-absorbed tendencies). It was not because she was up all night with his child, it was that Kelsey was in the midst of a crisis that Lauren needed Josh to pull it together and it just reinforces yet again what a multi-dimensional, caring character she is. And yes Josh, you are the dad, not the babysitter (kudos for this Alison Brown) so you may need to learn to sleep a little more lightly or something FYI.

Kelsey’s hair stress continues to play out as she runs into Maggie, who was also hoping to make a covert pharmaceutical purchase and the two wander back to Maggie’s for the scene I have been looking forward to since the possibility of such a scene came into play. I am of course talking about dinner at the loft and the integration of Charles into the friend circle. Kelsey’s freak out seems to be hitting fever pitch as she asks Beth for advice but this is soon interrupted by the arrival of Charles and Liza, who come bearing blackout cake (which I googled and holy chocolate pudding it looks AMAZING) in the most adorbs coupley entrance and don’t mind me, just having a quiet gush over here. Ok, I’m done. While Kelsey is over chatting with her old boss, Beth puts her naturopathy into practice by suggesting Maggie take a more natural approach to treating her yeast infection, doing some seasoning of her own to let a clove of garlic work its magic. Between jalapeno dick and garlic vag, this show loves to make us consider our spices in a whole new light.

This entire dinner party scene was next level, I want to frame a picture of it and put it on my wall because yes. We have casual, relaxed Charles, who is the first to ask if there is garlic bread on the menu (I love so much that he was the first to smell it) and seriously, from this moment, the unfolding of the garlic saga was nothing short of amazing. Kelsey was so amped this whole scene, she’s like a tightly wound ball and it was palpable. Her interjections as she commented that it smells like an everything bagel and agreement about the garlic knot and escargot were just brilliant contrasts to her otherwise increasing intensity. I so adored seeing Kelsey and Charles interacting casually and seeing what this would (ahem, could have) look like. But Kelsey asking Liza if she’d told Charles about Brownyn Madigan...I’m sorry, but how could she WHEN SHE CAN’T TALK ABOUT WORK WITH CHARLES? This bit made my head hurt a bit. Surely Liza in that moment must have been thinking the same (also Liza’s moment of identifying a garlic knot, so so good). 

What I love most about this scene is that we have Kelsey’s conversation getting more intense by the minute as she jumps from unloading about the stress of work, to Zane and his new venture, before finally climaxing with her ‘who is it?’ declaration, all the while having zero suspicion that Mercury’s investor is sitting right beside her. Side note: I really like Charles’ comment that he’s sure it is business, not personal re: Zane. I think it’s interesting considering the stereotype that women are too emotional vs. men and I’m curious to see how this plays out this season as Kelsey finds her feet. Meanwhile, Charles is trying to have a nice double date with his gf, while also keeping a secret that is the cause of much of the distress Kelsey is sharing with the table, while Liza takes the opportunity to make Charles squirm by pressing the point about the money for Zane’s venture coming from somewhere. It’s such an intricate web and of course parallel to that is Maggie’s secret vagina garlic that has the whole room assuming some kind of paranormal baking is taking place before Maggie responds to Kelsey’s ‘who is it?’ with, ‘it’s me!’ and it was just too much. My reaction was the same as everyone around the table when Maggie announced the source of the garlicky aroma, what a dinner party (and what a way for Charles to avoid any further scrutiny).

I am so glad that the conversation that needed to happen finally did this week and that was, of course, Liza confronting Charles about his involvement in Mercury. Oy, my heart. It broke a little when Liza gave Charles the opportunity to come clean and he didn’t and she had to ask so directly. It was so good to hear these two talking, like properly talking, and Charles explaining that he had to make choices in order to be with Liza but he never wanted to give up publishing for good was great insight into the journey Charles has been on post-Empirical, especially as we really haven’t been privy to that. I felt for both of them at various stages during the conversation. I do believe Liza understands why Charles would want to reinvent himself but I also understand why she would feel so hurt that he would keep such a huge thing from her (although again, they’d agreed not to talk about work at Liza’s request so *insert shrug emoji here*). 

But it does highlight an ongoing issue which I really hope gets properly addressed sometime soon and that is where Liza’s loyalties lie. I think it is unquestionably not ok that Charles set up a rival company while Chairman of the Board of Millennial, for obvious reasons. However, had he told Liza, she would have felt compelled to tell Kelsey, which I have no doubt Charles knows and would expect as she is the publisher, so in not telling Liza he is yes protecting his own interests but also stopping her from being in a compromised position. So while Charles’ secrecy is disappointing, so is Liza’s text to Kelsey the following morning asking to meet before work after Charles asked specifically that she tell no one about him financing Mercury just yet. 

This episode comes to a head at Suffolk House in a most spectacular fashion. Hilary Duff really did knock this entire ep out of the water with her acting, I cannot heap enough praise on her for the entire performance. You just knew it was gonna be good when Liza turned up as Kelsey was intercepting Bronwyn in an attempt to convince her that Zane was a bitter ex-employee (not very professional IMO but we won’t focus on that for now), only to discover that Bronwyn didn’t know Zane from a wart on her butt (delightful). She was in fact there to meet...dun-dun-dunnnnn...Charles (shout-out to the three piece suit, always a welcome sight, did not disappoint)! Kelsey was justifiably angry, however the stark contrast in experience and maturity was well and truly on show as she proceeded to express herself very loudly and publicly, despite Charles and Zane suggesting they step outside. Zane clocked the smart phone filming the entire incident and you just knew that Kelsey’s outburst was going to come back to bite her.

Regardless of whether Kelsey was in the right or wrong, she certainly came off worse in the way she handled it. My favourite part of the scene was Liza FINALLY re-awakening that gutsy silver suit wearing power, her turning and telling Bronwyn that Charles called her books matron lit was this season’s manuscript drop. And thank f-ing god. One of the things I’ve always loved about the Liza/ Charles dynamic is that Liza stands up for herself with him when she doesn’t with so many others and she is not afraid to call him out, which has been missing these past couple of eps. So now that that has been restored, I am legit so excited to see how this relationship moves forward.

The ramifications of the restaurant confrontation are of course trending on Reddit by the next morning, and Liza and Diana have the unenviable job of delivering the news that even though Charles was in the wrong for setting up the company the way he did, he has since resigned from the board and a number of authors are making noise about jumping ship to Mercury (I was going to say that I think Kelsey might have preferred it if her eyebrows actually had fallen off in that moment but I feel like that’s probs false).

The fact that Kelsey and Charles are pitted against one another as publishers and Liza and Zane as editors provides the most glorious opportunity to explore the ideas of reputation vs. experience. vs. gender vs. fresh ideas and I am so here for it, so damn excited, and so sure that whatever ends up playing out this season, it will be nothing that I expect. In the meantime I’m going to compile every Diana Trout line from this episode into a ringtone because what workplace wouldn’t want Diana talking about nutcracker’s oesophagus ringing through the open-plan office?

[eerythingisshaka]

Hi. I'm not sure if you do, but could you possibly write a story between Okoye and a female reader?

I know this was sent to me a while ago, so I apologize for the delay.  But the prompt is so broad and can literally be anything, I feel like I might as well give it a tiny bit of a go.  I’m giving you this mini oneshot and I hope it suffices.  Okoye deserves so much more lol

“Are you ready?”  Okoye asks as you steady yourself between her legs.  They are strong and ample from years of training and execution of duties for the royal family and protection of Wakanda.  You never thought you would be this close to her before, but you are thankful she is allowing you this moment with her and what is yet to come

You take a deep breath.  “Yes General. I’ve been waiting for this for longer than you could imagine.”

She smiles as she feels her fingers through your hair.  “I must say, you have an adorable curl pattern.”

You shiver slightly under her gentle yet firm touch, feeling embarrassed.  It’s completely opposite of what you know of her to act like.  Usually she is cracking the whip at training, leaving no room for weariness or failure.  You loved her aggression and hoped to emulate it one day.  But Okoye knew that a true warrior bares their own unique set of characteristics that can be vital in the field and never let you feel wrong for who you are.

“Thank you, General.  I have my father to thank for that.”  You smile with a closed mouth.

Okoye reaches over for something in a table drawer.  “Now you promise not to back out?  If you want to of course, you can.  however I would be sorely disappointed.  And deep down I think you would be too.”

You look at her seriously, keeping direct eye contact, so to not waiver.  “I want this more than anything.  And under your hands, I know that I am completely blessed.  To share this moment with anyone is an honor but from you I would never let the opportunity pass.”

Okoye smirks at you as she handles her fingers through your hair once more, scooting her hips further towards you, thighs tighter around you.  “Alright, I appreciate the appreciation, I get it.  But this means a lot to me too.  I don’t do this with just anyone so savor this moment.”

You close your eyes and nod.  “I will.  I am ready.”

Okoye calls over another Dora, Linoma, who sits at your feet with a bowl of dyed clay, dipping her fingers into it as the blackness glistens on her fingertips.  She’s been a great companion to you during your months of training, sticking by you and mentoring you.  She smiles at you beautifully, head clear of any obstruction.  In your opinion, hers is the most flattering shape, not that you had the chance to tell her.

Okoye speaks.  “We call upon Bast and the ancestors to bless our sister (Y/N), who has endured our traditions set before us to generations of Dora preceding us.  She has proven herself worthy of this honor, to become one with us.”

The Dora in front of you smears the clay along the apples of your cheeks and down your forehead.  Okoye looks at you in the mirror reflection with a razor blade held high as a drum beats in the background.  

“We call upon your guidance as we go forward anew with our sister warrior!  May she remember her duties as warrior, her culture as a Wakandan, her character as a human and follower of you.”

You feel the cold blade along your scalp as you look on, seeing your curls fall to the floor little by little as Okoye saddles in for the shaving of your head, clean and pristine.  Bald and glistening with the pride of becoming a part of the elite force that is the Dora Milaje.  

A tear runs down your face as you see your hair fall.  Okoye notices your shoulders jumping.  

“Are you ok?”  

You take in a breath and let out a drawn out howl, followed by a staccato of chuckles.  “It’s gone!  It’s gone!”  You feel your smooth scalp and your eye bug out at the new sensation.

Okoye swats your hands away.  “Eh!  I’m not done!  Do you want razor bumps??  Let me finish.”

She runs a salve through her hands and across your scalp making it tingle pleasantly.  

Okoye claps her hands together before squeezing your shoulders.  “Congratulations!  Now we will get you to the River Province for the blessing and to then to pick up your armor.

You get up to brush off your shoulders, receiving hugs and congratulations from Okoye, Linoma, and the other Dora participating in the ceremony.  “I promise I won’t let you down.  I have never felt more at home and more inspired to live my life fully as I have since joining this sisterhood.  You do not judge me, or ask me to be anything but my best self.  I will honor the legacy of our fallen sister Xoliswa as best as I can.”

Okoye nods, placing a hand on your shoulder.  “I know that has been important to you ever since we recruited you after her passing.  However you need not look to be like her.  You be as good as you are, genuinely true to yourself.  You did not get here by being her, you got here by being you.  And it does not matter how much we dress alike, T’Challa can always tells us a part.”

You share a laugh, allowing her to guide you into the world renewed with your new family and gained acceptance.

[5sauceprefs]

ghost of you (l.h)

Hey guys THIS IS FUCKEN SAD LOL. 

Request: Promp list!!! I couldn’t choose one so i kinda put some together to create a story and you can write the rest.. and can it be with LUKE, please? Thanks!💛 “I can hear you crying through the door” “I’ve been so worried about you lately” “Baby answer the question” “You think this is what okay looks like?” “I’m suffocating” “My heart feels heavy” LOVE YOU

Summary: You and Luke begin to experience the hardships of a long distance relationship. You are excited to finally see Luke as he returns home, however will things go back to normal despite your fear that your relationship is just based off memories of happier times? That the two of you are constantly chasing after what was a loving relationship before Luke was always away? 

Word count: 3500+ (why did I write so much when it’s sad lol)

Here we go.

You flattened down your top for what felt like the millionth time. Another quick dust of your pants. A quick fix of your hair. Anything to put off having to actually leave your room. The ding! of your phone made you jump; you were completely on edge. Walking over to your bed, you picked up your phone to have a look at the message you knew was coming.

Hey baby, can’t wait to see you x

Luke had been sending these types of messages all day, not constantly but enough to remind you why you felt a hole in your heart and a bottomless pit in your stomach that was full of nothing but nervous waves. You wiped your clammy hands on your pants again, unlocking your phone.

Same here babe x

Except that was a lie; you most definitely could wait. You locked your phone, the lock screen lighting up; a photo of you and Luke pulling silly faces, his arm wrapped around you tightly and pulling you close to him. That felt like it was years and years ago, a faded memory that couldn’t help your nerves. Another look in the mirror and you decided it was time to stop being a little bitch and leave your apartment.

5 Seconds of Summer’s Youngblood had just received its number 1 spot in Australia. Whilst the boys were back in Australia for this leg of the ‘Meet you There’ tour, they decided it would be great to celebrate their achievements since releasing the album. This meant a big party, lots of people, and lots of drinking. Not an ideal situation when it was your first time seeing Luke again, but at this point you would take whatever you could get. Even a Facetime would be great. You just wanted to see his face again and know the two of you were okay, that distance hadn’t affected your relationship at all.

You were so happy for Luke and the boys, there was no denying it. However, the back to back tours were starting to take a toll on your relationship with Luke, especially considering your career was starting to take off on its own direction now too. It was hard to get any time at all with Luke, and now the one time you were seeing him was a big party where he’d be drunk and busy with everyone else to even notice you. Which was fine, you knew what you had signed up for getting into this relationship with him, but you couldn’t help but feel a little upset that it had to fall on your two-year anniversary. Two years, just like that.

They say time flies when you’re having fun, but you could argue that time flies even faster when you actually never see your significant other.

You headed downstairs into the Uber you ordered, having denied Luke’s previous insistence that you be driven by their driver to the party, and sat in the back seat. You scrolled through your phone, watching the boys’ Instagram stories that they had put up for the party. It was happening at The Rocks, on a big yacht that was going to cruise all around Sydney Harbour. You didn’t live too far away, so you didn’t have much time to prepare yourself to calm down. It had literally been months since you last saw Luke. Today, when the boys arrived, was the first time you had heard his voice in a month when he rang you to tell you about Youngblood’s accolades and the party tonight. You picked at your nail polish, remembering the conversation.

Your phone rang loud and clear as soon as you started your lunch break and you swore your heart could have exploded at the sight of Luke’s goofy face on your phone, signalling that your boyfriend was finally calling you. ‘

“Hello!” You picked up eagerly, not caring that you sounded a little crazy.

“Baby! We made Number 1 in Australia!” Luke’s voice cheered back and you grinned. You didn’t care he forgot your anniversary; this was a big deal! Anyways, you knew once you saw him tonight, after a few hours to let today sink in, he would realise and the two of you would celebrate after the party how you always did. Take-away ice-cream and dancing in your apartment that the two of you shared in Sydney. Even though it was really just you that lived there most of the time.

“Congratulations! I told you,” you laughed into the phone. You could picture Luke rolling his bright blue eyes on his end of the call. A few cheers in the background and Luke’s laughter going through the phone let you know he was with the boys.

“I just can’t believe it actually happened. We’re celebrating tonight,” Luke said and you couldn’t help but do a little dance on the spot; he remembered!

“I can’t wait, I was thinking ice-cream and d-“

“On a yacht on The Rocks! We’re having a big party for Number 1! Everyone’s going to be there baby, you’re coming right?” Luke interrupted and you could tell he hadn’t heard what you were saying before. You bit down on your lip but decided not to worry. This was Luke’s day; it was time to celebrate him. Your little anniversary ritual could wait.

“Of course baby, I’ll be there,” you nodded even though he couldn’t see you.

“Great, Ashton stop!” You could hear Luke’s laugh as he distractedly talked to you.  

“I lov-“

“Baby, I gotta go. I’ll text you the details!” Luke said into the phone, he sounded distracted with what was happening with his end of the phone call, before hanging up. The photo of you and Luke on your lock screen staring back at you.

You were so happy to hear his voice, but this was how all your phone calls had been. That’s if you and Luke ever did get to talk on the phone. It was rare that the time difference allowed the two of you to talk to each other, that either Luke or you weren’t too busy to talk to each other.

You tried to ignore the little sick feeling that appeared in your stomach. You swallowed hard, trying to get by with your day, the thought of Luke forgetting your anniversary making the butterflies bigger and bigger.

Nervous was an understatement; you were shitting it. You had been feeling a little upset, missing Luke, for quite some time now, and all you wanted was to see him to reassure yourself and your heart that he was still what you wanted. That this life with him was what you wanted. There was only so much more you could give with receiving little back until it took too much from you. It has getting harder and harder to come home, the place that Luke and you had bought together, without him. To talk to him less and less. To go about your days as if he wasn’t apart of your life anymore, even though he was. To only know how he was through Twitter, Instagram, but not know anything that was happening personally.

You were also trying to convince yourself that it was completely normal to feel this nervous before seeing your boyfriend. You weren’t actually sure if you were excited, which surprised you because you really did miss him.

You went to the Harbour, boarding the yacht as you showed your I.D. to the bouncer. He smiled, letting you in with a nod of his head. You walked past him, constantly playing with the ends of your hair. You looked around; there was already so many people here and you weren’t even leaving the dock for another five minutes. There was a DJ in one corner, a long table covered with assorted cheeses, crackers, fruits, all kinds of finger foods. The bar was lit up and full, all different kinds of liquor on show. It was definitely going to be a big night; you were going to need to down a few mimosas before you were ready to see any of the boys.

“Y/N!” Looks like the night had other plans. You turned around finding Ashton approaching you, a big smile on his face. His blue button-up shirt wasn’t fully buttoned up to show off the several gold chains around his neck, he wore the classic black skinny jeans and boots to match. He looked good and the sight of him almost made you tear up.

“Ashton,” you cried, a grin on your face as you hugged him. He laughed, giving you a squeeze. “Congratulations,” you said as he pulled away.

“Thanks, I can’t believe it,” he ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I can,” you grinned, wiggling your eyebrows.

“Are you drinking?” Ashton asked, gesturing to your empty hands. You nodded, following him to the bar. “Have you seen Luke yet?” Ashton asked you as you waited for the bartender to make your mimosa. You shook your head.

“No, do you know where he is?” You asked and Ashton shrugged. The bartender handed you your mimosa and you smiled in thanks, following Ashton as he helped you find Luke.

“Ashton! The man of the hour,” a bald man came up and cried, patting Ashton on the back. He gave you an apologetic smile, to which you dismissed with a laugh, letting him walk off with the bald man as you searched for Luke on your own. This yacht was fucking massive; it was going to take you all night at this point to find Luke. It honestly wouldn’t surprise you at this point if you didn’t even see him tonight with the way things were going.

Then you found him. Standing tall and happy, a beer in his ring-clad hand. He had a big smile on his face, his blue eyes looked a little tired but still bright, his hair was a little longer, pushed back, and he wore a red silk button-up, his black skinny jeans, and his boots. Your heart felt like it was glowing. All those days alone were now worth it. All that time spent wishing you could just see, touch, smell your boyfriend and have him with you was now real. With a grin on your face, you started walking over to the group to go see, kiss, hug, touch your boyfriend. Maybe it was a good thing that they had decided to do this party; you knew you would have never left the bed if Luke and you had spent the night alone together.

You came up from behind him, tapping him on the shoulder with a big grin on your face, looking stupid. Luke turned around, his eyes widening and his smile getting even bigger. It made everything inside you feel whole. Your heart was Luke’s, no wonder it felt small and missing when he was gone. He took it with him and now he was here and could give you what was rightfully yours, his love.

“Y/N!” He said, as if he couldn’t believe you were standing in front of him even though he invited you. He placed a hand on your shoulder, making your grin falter a little bit. You had been expecting a kiss at the very least. “I’m just talking with a big producer baby, how about you get us some more drinks and a seat by the back and I’ll meet you there in a second?” He said quietly and smiled before turning back around. “So, where was I?” Luke grinned.

You stood there for a second, trying to process what the fuck had just happened. Get a couple of drinks and a seat and he’d be there in a second? No ‘baby!’, ‘I missed you!’, ‘Let me love you until the sun rises!’, ‘Happy two-year anniversary!’? Just a touch of the shoulder and then a fucking order for drinks and a seat?

Your heart, which had been glowing and growing twice its size moments ago, was now small. So small you thought the hole that had been there at the beginning of the night had swallowed it. Luke did have your heart, but he had left it behind when he had first left you to go on tour, and now it was anywhere but with his heart. You realised this now.

You walked over to the bar, before you stopped. Wait, what were you doing? Actually going to go get a drink for Luke? He had completely dismissed you in front of the ‘big producers’, basically treated you like his little bitch, and then you were actually going to do it? Plus, he had forgotten your anniversary after all your hints and references. Fuck this. No wonder you were feeling so nervous and sad to come; future you had your back and knew some fucked up shit was going to happen. A burning in your throat signalled that a fat cry was coming along, so you quickly walked over to the on-board bathroom.

“Testing, testing, 1,2,3? DJ Calum, 1, 2, 3?” Calum’s voice made you turn around as he talked into the microphone at the DJ’s set-up, your vision a little blurry from the tears that were threatening to spill. “Welcome everybody! Thank you for coming and thanks for celebrating Youngblood going number 1 in Australia with us!” Calum was interrupted as everyone started cheering. “We are about to start our cruise so drink up and get fucked up!” Calum rose his glass in the air and everyone did the same except for you. You were fucked up alright. You walked quickly to the bathroom as the music returned loudly through the yacht.

Closing the door behind you, you placed your mimosa on the counter and stared at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were puffy and red as tears streamed down your face, snot coming out of your nose and your lips were all red puffy too as you continued to cry.

This is what you and Luke had come to. It seemed to be some fucked up graph where Luke was exponentially rising as you were the opposite end, going down. You had given your all and still did so, Luke gave his all too but just not to you. To his career. You couldn’t hate him for that, but before your feelings turned into hate you needed to do what was the best for you and Luke’s relationship. It was time to end it. Before it became messy and you did start resenting each other; Luke hating you for leading him on once you realised you were done and you hating Luke for not being as committed as you were.

“Happy fucking anniversary,” you said to yourself quietly, sculling down your champagne drink and then washing your face. You dabbed tissues under your eyes so as not to smudge your mascara any more and then reapplied your liquid lipstick. You blinked a couple of times, widening your eyes and pretending to sneeze. It’s what you would do once you left the bathroom, to make it look like you hadn’t been crying but were just sneezing a lot and that’s why your eyes were all red and puffy and watery. With a final look at yourself in the mirror you grabbed your empty glass and opened the bathroom door, facing Luke.

He was leant up against the door, a frown on his face. Shocked, you closed the door immediately, locking it.

“Y/N, open the door,” Luke said and you shook your head even though he couldn’t see you. “Y/N, I can hear you crying through the door,” Luke said quietly and you covered your eyes, full sobs coming from your body. You thought you had composed yourself, you thought you had it all figured out. You were ready to leave. But then you saw Luke, his beautiful blue eyes so concerned, and now you weren’t so sure. “I’ve been so worried about you lately baby,” Luke continued to talk as you continued to cry on the opposite side of the door. “You’ve seemed distant and I don’t know what to do.” At this you frowned. You seemed distant? What about when he just blew you off in front of all those people?

You opened the door and Luke immediately stepped inside. You closed the door behind you, locking it and facing it instead of Luke for a second to gather your thoughts. You felt Luke’s hands brush your hair off your shoulder, his fingers making goose-bumps raise on your skin. You shoved his hand off as you turned around to face him. It wasn’t fair that he could still have that affect on you when he touched you.

“You really can’t say that I’ve been distant,” you said angrily, wiping the tears off your face and pushing Luke’s hands away as he tried to help you. He frowned.

“I’m sorry about before,” Luke said and you rolled your eyes.

“You’re not though. I get it, you’re busy. I’m happy for you, I really am. But there’s only so much I can give to you before I start getting tired Luke of receiving nothing back. You’re always busy. You’re always rehearsing, always with producers, always with everyone. Whatever, it’s great you’re doing so well. But I need something, anything Luke. You can’t always blow me off like that. Even just a fucking kiss would have been nice. It’s so hard being lonely,” your voice was slowly starting to get louder as you threw your hands up in the air, running them through your hair in frustration. Luke stepped forward, leaning down and you immediately raised your hands to his chest, stopping him. “What’re you doing?” You asked, the frown coming back to Luke’s forehead as he reached his hands out to touch you.  

“Why won’t you let me touch you? I’m trying, Y/N. I’m trying to give you what you want. We’re okay, baby,” he leant down again and you pushed him a little harder, tears returning to your eyes.

“What I want? No, Luke, that’s not how this works. You’re supposed to want to want me, to want to be happy with me. Not just because it’s what I ‘want’. You think this is what okay looks like?” You raised an eyebrow. You wiped away the tears that had returned as you turned to walk out of the bathroom. Luke grabbed your wrist, his eyes wide.

“Don’t, Y/N. What’re you doing? What do you mean?” He asked, his blue eyes searching your face, full of concern and confusion and hurt. Your heart didn’t feel small anymore. It felt heavy; you were suffocating. It was weighing you down; you were weighing Luke down. He was weighing you down. You sighed, looking down at his beautiful red-painted fingers covered in rings wrapped around your wrist. You wanted to tell him you were okay, that the two of you were going to be okay. But it wasn’t right. Enough was enough, it was time to stop being selfish with Luke. It was time to let him be happy without you, fully. He had already started, there was no need for you anymore. “Baby, answer the question.” Luke said quietly, squeezing your wrist. You felt the hot tears against your cheeks, your lips, falling on to your chest.

“Luke,” you said quietly, looking up at him. His eyes were wide, his mouth open slightly and a crease in his forehead where his eyebrows were knitted together. “I love you. So much. I’m not good for you though, and I’m not sure if you’re good for me. I got a promotion,” you said, watching his eyebrows raise slightly. “I’m going to be travelling, just like you. This,” you gestured between you both, “is only going to get harder. I love you, and I will always love you. But I can’t stay and you know that,” your voice was quiet as realisation sank in to both you and Luke.

You had just broken up with the boy who made your heart feel like it was three times its size. The boy who made your stomach sick full of butterflies, made your palms sweaty. Your head woozy and your lips a constant puffy red from his sweet kisses. But also, the boy who was hurting you and you him. The boy who couldn’t be there for you, the boy who didn’t understand that soon you wouldn’t be there for him either. The boy who was only ever real for a few fleeting seconds before he returned to being a distant memory, just a photo on your lock-screen the only proof that what you had was real. Or had been real.  

Luke was silent as you raised your wrist, free from his hold, and turned to leave. You grabbed your purse, remembering something. You opened it, pulling out the silver necklace you had bought your then boyfriend. It was still nice, still relevant if he ever decided he’d still want to be your friend. It was his, just like your heart, always.

“Happy anniversary Luke,” you smiled a small smile even though you were crying and placed the necklace in his hand. “Congratulations, I hope you get everything you want. If you can ever forgive me, you can call me if you ever want a friend to talk to. I love you.” You squeezed his hand before you left the bathroom.

You had just enough time to leave before the yacht would depart, so you rushed off the boat without another look back to the blue eyed boy who was forever yours in your heart. Who you would always love. Who would always have your heart no matter what. He had never discarded it; he had just been neglecting it. You realised that now as you practically ran off the yacht.

It was just a shame that you left too quickly, too quickly before Luke could tell you that he was always yours, and you were always his. His heart belonged to you, just as much as yours belonged to him.

[mischiefandi]

I’ll Be Watching You - Stiles Stilinski

A/N: I wrote this for @disbestiles song writing challenge. My song selection was Every Breath You Take by the Police and my character was ***. I placed the character’s name in the story, it’s up to you to find out who it is. Send me an ask when you figure it out :). Don’t forget the Easter eggs (only one in this fic if you don’t count the name) This is pretty dark and twisty but I had fun writing it and I know I said I was gonna post Mine part 2 but I was super inspired and I wanted to get to it as soon as possible! I hope you enjoy it! Thank you @avadakedabitch for proofreading! anddd thank you @itsbilescallmebiles for getting me hyped about writing this and for the HONEST feedback lol, ily. ALSO thank you @disbestiles for organising this challenge, I’m super glad to have participated, congrats again :) Feedback is always appreciated (good or bad)(but nice)(stay civil y'all)

Summary: A broken man wanders through Brooklyn with one destination in mind, where to?

Warnings: ANGST, stalking kind of, pretty dark and twisted, a teeny tiny bit of smut (vague and brief), I think cursing? and alcohol. Did I mention angst? Read at your own risk…

Word Count: 2,7 K (pretty short whoops)

Many people were already asleep, it was pretty late after all. The light sound of water leaking out of a pipe and landing on the wet and dirty street could barely be heard over the loud jazz music coming from the piano bar just a couple of houses down. The only people in the street were dancing strangers, happily swaying their hips to the sultry sax under a star-speckled dome and the lone man, walking slowly down the road, his hands in his pockets and his head covered with his dark hood. His foot made the water ripple as he stepped in a small puddle, but he didn’t seem fazed in the least by the sudden dampness in his shoe. His gait was calm but determined, he knew where he was going, the way to the destination in his mind clear as day. Every stop sign, every bump on the street, every sidewalk, every inch of the concrete platform across which he walked, he seemed to have memorized them all; it was obvious it wasn’t the first time he’d gone down this road.

As the hooded man walked past a black Audi, the loud sound of music seeped from inside the car and his cool and composed expression quickly turning to a shaken one. Shrugging it off, he kept going, looking back just once.

In through the bedroom window pour the pinkish rays of sun, drawing beautiful shadows on the wall opposite her. She’s sitting in front of him, her back lying against the endless amount of yellow and white pillows on her lumpy bed. Her pink lips curl into a smile as her favorite song starts to play and she laughs out loud when he starts singing along. The sunlight flashes against her rosy cheeks and her splendid blue eyes sparkle as they gaze at him, time seems to stop when she lowers her eyes and blushes. Her delicate fingers fiddle with the bed covers and he holds out his hand, wanting physical contact between them, she shakes her head and dissolves into giggles when he fakes a pout. As she starts to speak with the softest voice he’s ever heard, he thinks to himself; “This is happiness.”

Eventually, the man turned a corner but then slowed down when he saw someone up ahead, obviously, he wanted to be alone, to be left in his misery and anger. It was simmering in his head and in the darkest and deepest part of him, anticipating the moment when it could finally resurface and blow up. He heard a train passing above him on the elevated railway tracks but didn’t bother looking up, he just stopped walking. His fingers curled around a small object in his back pocket and he took out a bright green lighter. Out of his other pocket came a pack and he sniffed lightly as he drew out one thin cigarette, placing it carefully between his lips and bringing the lighter up to it. Click. Inhaling deeply, smoke filled his lungs and he coughed slightly, still not quite fully back into his previous habits. He exhaled and stared ahead, watching a few cars pass by, occasionally honking at him for standing in the middle of the street. He didn’t even glance at the drivers, instead opting for giving them an exasperated sigh as if they were the ones in the wrong. As he resumed his footsteps, a low rumble coming from above made him lift his head up and he immediately felt a single drop of water land on his forehead. Bringing up a finger to his head in order to wipe it off, the man felt another and again the sky grumbled loudly. He shrugged slightly and kept walking, watching thin lines of water start falling from the stars and land on the ground beneath him.

Clouds cover the sky. They’re sitting on the humid grass in Central Park, there aren’t many people there. Tiny spots of blue occasionally peak through the thick duvet above them and the birds aren’t singing, all hidden away in the trees, confused by the lack of sunlight. The autumn wind blows through her hair and she laughs heartedly when orange and brown leaves get tangled in her blonde mane. He desperately tries to get one particularly hard-to-get leaf out of her smooth streaks and she makes fun of his lack of skill, throwing her head back and exclaiming. He grins and pushes her back, quickly covering her body with his and he nuzzles his nose in her neck, breathing in the sweet scent he’s come to crave. Making his slightly chapped lips dance across her pearly white skin, he grips her waist with his right hand and caresses her gorgeous face with the other. She smiles at him and he deeps in to kiss her when suddenly he feels droplets of water on the back of his neck; it’s started to rain. She makes a joke which makes him smirk at her and ignoring the rain that slowly starts to accelerate its descent, he passionately kisses her, immediately making her moan as she feels the tiniest prickles from his stubble on her chin and cheeks. They melt together in the pouring rain, forgetting the world that surrounds them.

“Zach, careful!” exclaimed a woman in the passenger seat of the car that swivelled just at the right moment, avoiding a crash with the man ignoring yet another honk. He moved forward, digging his hands in his pockets and pursing his lips tighter so the cigarette between them didn’t budge. He inhaled and exhaled a few times, slowly falling back into his addiction all over again, letting the smoke surround and embrace him in a way he hadn’t been for a long time, too long. Entering a new street, a busier one, where cabs and loud cars and people talking about meaningless things ruled, he remembered how much he despised them, how much he despised them all. His hatred for this hypocritical society, his hatred for how this awful and cruel world they live in corrupts every beautiful thing in the palm of his hand, his hatred for injustice and people with no morals, he bathed in it, he fed off of this anger and pain. That was what he was reminded of as he watched the disgusting people of Brooklyn he used to love.

Yellow and blue fireworks erupted in the night sky and it startled him as he walked onto the sidewalk, almost making him trip over a homeless woman sitting up against the wall of a shop and he groaned as she weakly lifted a little paper cup in his direction. He shook his head angrily and she backed away a little, a nervous and retreated expression on her dirty and wrinkled face. Ignoring her quiet moans and whimpers, he pushed past the crowd of turtle-resembling pedestrians and kept going. He didn’t feel bad for her, it was her fault. In this world, the world he’d come to detest with every fiber of his being, good and patient people were never rewarded, they were abandoned, left to their own resources. If she really wanted to have a shot at a life, she was going to have to grow a pair, that was the only thing that ever worked; hurting others and breaking promises. Almost completely drenched, the young man slipped under someone else’s umbrella and smirked. Walking at the same pace as his companion, he dragged his feet against the cold and wet concrete beneath him, eventually pulling out his hand and holding the last of his cigarette between his long and calloused fingers. He stopped and abandoned his umbrella neighbor in order to press the butt of his guilty pleasure against the front wall of a 7-Eleven, putting out tiny embers. He glanced at the shop itself and gulped down the emotion that threatened to rise.

Small clocks of various shapes and colours hanging on the white wall above the cashier’s desk all strike 1 when the pair enters the shop hand-in-hand. She’s wearing a knee-length red dress and white slippers, he’s wearing a disheveled tuxedo with an untied bow hanging around his neck. They’re both snickering about something and she leads him to the back of the shop where she picks out a bottle of vodka and starts giggling furiously. He trips over his own foot and they erupt in a roar of laughter, disrupting the cashier’s once peaceful sleep. As he struggles to get up, she giggles, walks up to him and wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him in close in order to drunkingly kiss him, letting the bottle of alcohol slip from between her fingers and land on the floor with a crash. The cashier jumps from his seat and starts yelling at them for making a mess in his shop but neither of them notice as she slips her tongue in her lover’s mouth and moans against his lips, making his heart swell and thump in the confines of his chest. When she pulls back to breathe and steady herself, she notices the angry owner of the 7-Eleven and she stares at him with wide eyes before grabbing her boyfriend’s hand and running towards the exit. The short and bald man runs after them but the young man in a tuxedo whirls around and notices an obscene pile of Kit-Kats on his right. Grabbing a fistful of the candy, he throws it in the owner’s direction and the blonde holding his hand shrieks and dissolves in a fit of giggles before pulling him out of the shop.

He snapped out of his daze and shook his head lightly before resuming his walk in the direction of an alley. Leaving the large and busy avenue through which he had just been, he took a left and immediately was greeted by tranquil silence and emptiness. He sighed loudly and straightened his back before burying his hands back into his pockets and looking up, his pace uninterrupted. The stars were gorgeous that night, he didn’t know whether it was his melancholic state that made the sky feel so attractive or if it really was as breath-taking as it seemed but he wanted to be up there, he wanted to drown in the dark blue ocean that was the night sky of New York, he wanted to forget all of the pain, anger and regret flowing through his veins. He wanted to forget her. It was his only desire really, to be able to erase her from his memories, from his past, but it was impossible. The sheer acknowledgement of that fact made his heart quake and legs tremble. But he ignored it, he had to. Facing his emotions, facing the brutal reality that had haunted him for the past six months was too much, and thinking about it only made it worse; it felt like dying. In the corner of the alley, standing in the shadows was a woman dressed in a leopard print dress that only went down to her mid-thigh and knee-high black leather boots. The woman wearing the most vulgar makeup he had ever seen approached him and catcalled which riled him up a little. He stared dead on and refused to meet the eyes of the prostitute calling out for him, focusing on the end of the dark pathway.

Lying on top of her, he feels her writhing beneath him, digging her nails in his lower back and whispering sweet nothings in his ear, occasionally groaning when he reaches a certain pace. He places wet kisses along her collarbone and nibbles on her earlobe as she reaches her high, holding her close against his sweaty body and feeling her heart beat a hundred miles an hour against his. He slows down and she breathes against his chest, clinging to him in order to keep from spiraling; he presses his head against hers and smiles at her.

Covering her sleeping body with the bed sheets, he slips on a pair of boxers and walks into the kitchen, the only source of light coming from the moon in the summer night sky. It’s gorgeous out, a slight cool breeze seeps in through the cracked open window and he breathes in and out deeply before sitting himself down and opening up the laptop on the kitchen table. Clicking on the email button and getting ready to type a message for his father, he realizes the user isn’t him and he quickly tries to change accounts. The words “Yes baby” make him pause and he looks down at the email, it’s hers. He glances back at the ajar bedroom door and furrows his brow before clicking on the email and reading it. His breath stops when he reads the words that make his entire world crash before him. No words can escape his mouth when he shuts the laptop and tries to make sense of what he’s just seen. She couldn’t have, right?

His fast pace went to a halt when he reached number 35, the red-bricked building standing tall and proud on the corner of the empty street. Above him, a wide window with its yellowish curtains drawn. He looked up at it and noticed that the lights were still on, she was awake. In front of his drenched and tired figure stood a beautiful red car and he laughed spitefully, taking in the hurtful information. He nodded and pursed his lips together then suddenly sent his fist flying onto the cold and wet metal, immediately letting out a choked sob and falling to the ground, ignoring the feeling of dirty rainwater coating his legs.

Angry tears streamed down his face as he stared down at the ground, nursing his injured hand with the other and forcing himself to breathe in and out. He leant his back against the car and stopped to think. She was in there, with the man she had used to break him. She was in there right now, probably eating Chinese food with her new lover, watching her favorite show with him, cracking jokes and looking like a modern-day Aphrodite. She was in there, living the life she was supposed to be living with him. She had taken a hammer and smashed his heart to pieces, she had destroyed him and his humanity, she had changed him forever and she was in there, pretending that he had never meant anything to her, pretending that it didn’t matter. She was a monster, she was the most beautiful, most manipulative, sweet and cruel angel he had ever had the misfortune of meeting, she was the worst thing that had ever happened to him, but still his heart ached for her. He had loved her, with every cell in his body, with every speck of himself, he had loved her. He still did.

Picking himself off the slippery street, he looked up at the window again and saw the silhouette of the girl who constantly haunted his dreams. As far as he could tell, she was getting ready for bed. He could barely make out the long mane cascading down her shoulders and it made his lips quiver.

Why was he out here and not in there with her? And what kind of cruel joke was this? Why was the universe only giving him a glimpse of her? It wasn’t enough, she was too far, he neede-Oh wait. Behind her, there was another figure, it was a man, that much was clear. The broken man standing on the curb saw him take off her shirt. He couldn’t.

He wouldn’t.

He had.

Desperation and sadness soon succumbed to sheer anger and he looked away, fury burning in his amber-colored eyes. As his gaze went from the window to the car, malice poked at his insides and he smirked cruelly. He wasn’t a part of her life anymore, she had made sure of that and he missed it, being present in her thoughts, in her heart, he wanted to know that she would be reminded of him every day. And so forgetting himself and everything he had once been, destroying the brilliant, kind and compassionate man his friends and family had known once and for all, he took out his keys and brought them up to the shiny red car. Scraping away every last inch of dignity he had left, he breathed out and looked at his masterpiece. She would remember him for sure now, and she would never forget him.

I’LL BE WATCHING YOU

if you would like to be added to my taglist(s), feel free to fill in this form

@honeymoonmuke @spaztic-genuis @writteninthestarsandthesky @hellogoodbyebitch

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Rokuhoudou 1 - 12 (REWATCH) | Fruits Basket 25 (FINAL) | Demon Slayer 25 - 26 (FINAL) | Mob Psycho 100 II OVA | Cop Craft 11 - 12 (FINAL) | Dr Stone 11 | Ahiru no Sora 1 | Shinchou Yuusha 1

New anime of the season, here we go!

Rokuhoudou 1 (REWATCH)

I’m doing a new project where I rewatch some of my favourites to test their integrity in that regard. Here’s the first show - Rokuhoudou. So what I remember about Rokuhoudou is that it’s very simple – the guys make food and help people, occasionally there’s cats – and that was enough to help me through a mental rough patch I was going through at the original time of airing.

Being sick and watching with a cinnamon roll really brings home the idea of Rokuhoudou as “comfort food for the eyes”…No, it’s not what you think. I’m eating a cinnamon roll.

I always assumed the title was translated to “Four-Coloured Daily Life at Rokuhoudou”, because that would be the best translation if the title was fully in kanji. It’s not though, so the hiragana-rendered parts could mean anything.

Rokuhoudou almost gives you this sensation of being spirited away by good food (and Good Boys).

Sui sometimes reminds me of Kunikida (BSD)…must be the glasses.

Gure’s such a tease, LOL.

Tokitaka’s so refined, yet also has the heart and patience to help old people, plant things and make pottery. I love him~!

“You don’t need to show appreciation with bodily functions!”

I only just noticed it…but Gure has a nice eye colour.

Oh…I just realised this since I now know Tokitaka grows the veg and herbs out back, but Tokitaka must’ve grown them.

Hmm…I was wondering why you’d need a spoon for chazuke, but then I realised it’s because of the soup…D’oh.

I wonder if Tokitaka also made the chopstick holders…

Update: The ikura reminds me of Hinamatsuri…

Rokuhoudou 2 (REWATCH)

(Sorry, I had a note, but I didn’t write it down fast enough so I don’t have any for this ep…)

Rokuhoudou 3 (REWATCH)

Tokitaka has a flower in his hair (during the pottery wheel scene)…cute~!

Rokuhoudou 4 (REWATCH)

“You need to chill out.” – More like “you need to calm down”, amirite??? (LOL)

Look at how badass my bois are!

Now that I’ve been seriously working on my customer service skills, I sort of get the ethic behind the Rokuhoudou workers in general.

Rokuhoudou 5 (REWATCH)

Oyaji ga Susumeru Café Iko! – “The Old Guy Recommends Cafes to Go To!”, literally speaking. However, it’s quite slang and seems to be hinting at the positive connotations of an oyaji (fondness, the sort you’d have for your dad), so I approve of the chosen translation “Daddy-o’s Café Go!”.

Oh yeah…this is the weird delusion from Isago, isn’t it? I still rmembr writing a blog post about it!

Why does Tokitaka look so evil in this one scene (where he’s helping Tsubaki), anyway?

Rokuhoudou 6 (REWATCH)

(no notes, sorry!)

Rokuhoudou 7 (REWATCH)

(no notes, sorry!)

Rokuhoudou 8 (REWATCH)

I love how Gure gets all fired up just to pedal a duck boat.

Is it just me, or does young!Gure look like he was designed by Rihito Takarai (creator of Ten Count)…?

I can’t believe this…my stomach grumbled in the middle of an espresso episode…

“Who else could it be for?” – The dog?...I’m kidding, man…don’t get so angry at me, dog lovers.

I think this might be the 2nd time I thought the kid was called “you” (2nd person pronoun), but his nam is “You” (given name).

Oh! I don’t think I noticed this special ED the first time around.

Update: Gure is a happy drunk, LOL. Also, Gure is half-Italian, with his father being Japanese. (see ep. 1 of original watch-through for corresponding notes)

Rokuhoudou 9 (REWATCH)

Is the land of love France or Italy…?

Shinchosha is real…in fact, they’re the ones who publish Rokuhoudou’s manga!

Oh, seriously, I ship it now! Isago x Hayashi, that is…and Sui x kittens.

Update: Somehow I only just ralised it…but the titular “Mont Blanc Boy” is Tsunozaki, even though technically the only boys we see in this episode are young! Kyousui and Yakyou.

Rokuhoudou 10 (REWATCH)

The Napolitan episode…this is where Astral’s post comes from.

I get the feeling this segment’s title is a shoutout to “You Don’t Know Gunma Yet”, which is in…Kurage Bunch, also by Shinchosha, if I’m remembering correctly.

Gure and Tsubaki are like children sometimes, I swear…

Kuromitsu = brown sugar. (It means “black sweetness”, literally translating and it used to confuse me so much that I want to mention it here.)

VAINO computer, eh?

Tokyo NX, LOL. (Parody of Tokyo MX, which has a lot of anime.)

Short-haired Tokitaka!

I think Koto(ko…?)’s words, in particular, were one of the best monologues in this series when it comes to relaxing by realising I wasn’t alone in my doubts of the world. “Can I make it to my dreams?” I was asking the first time I saw this and even though I haven’t achieved the dreams of past me, I just had to adjust my expectations, make some new dreams and keep on going.

Rokuhoudou 11 (REWATCH)

Good heck, Gendo-I mean, Kyousui. (re: finger tenting)

Also, there is one univeral truth about this show: don’t watch it on an empty stomach…I had to go get some food a few eps. back in this rewatch because my stomach grumbled…

When I thought of “something rich”, I thought of a pudding too. Maybe my memory is better than I thought, huh?

I thought there was something dirty on my screen…turns out it was just Gure’s beauty spot.

Rokuhoudou 12 (FINAL, REWATCH)

“I’ll wake you up, then.”

I learnt this from the manga, but Itou is the old tea vendor.

Gin-chan reminds me of the inventor Logicalist from Hina Logi.

Karamimochi. By the way, from earlier in the ep…ankoro mochi.

Neneko was meant to be into kimonos, wasn’t she…?

Nion (sic) camera, LOL.

Okay, that’s the end of my first rewatch. It’s a keeper!

Fruits Basket 25 (FINAL)

Shihan = shisho = instructor.

Notice the Jizo, protector of children.

“…didn’t have to block…”

LOL, Tohru’s shocked face going from Kyo to Yuki.

Ooh, Makoto Takei and Machi Kuragi…

Isuzu!!!

Okay, that’s the end of that. See you next time!

Demon Slayer 25

So the other butterfly mansion girls (aside from Aoi, Shinobu and Kanao) are called Naho, Kiyo and Sumi, huh?

Tanjiro is seemingly a freakin’ masochist right now to those girls…

Ooh, there’s a butterfly in a chrysalis on the title card!

It seems, based on the kanji for Tsuguko, the word literally means “inheritor”, “successor” or “one who makes [another person’s role flourish by being in it]”…Like a Legacy Character from TV Tropes. Also, “Tsuyuri” literally means “chestnut flowers fall”, if I understand the characters right.

Kanao does the Naruto run. She wants to see them aliens too!

“Putting in effort isn’t my thing.” – Now there’s a sentence after my own heart!

Why does Kanao not talk???

Kanao’s coin says “front” and “back” instad of heads and tails.

Hmm, hmm…very heterosexual reading of Kanao here. It almost makes me lose hope in the “gay Shinobu” department (not that I’m angry about that).

This guy with the hat…I swear he looks like a jellyfish…

Why do all the swordsmiths wear that mask???

There’s one thing I realised this episode…anime humour means I expect exaggerated reactions to a lot of things, such as Inosuke chipping his swords like that.

I remember being a bit annoying about the interchangeability between the translation of honoo as “fire” and “flame” when I was a Boueibu rookie...*sighs happily* good times.

Okayyyyyy…Tanjiro’s gone cuckoo…

Nezuko, Inosuke and Zenitsu, huh? There’s a combo I’ve never seen!

Mob Psycho 100 OVA

Isekai hot springs, LOL.

I think I can see Saitama’s bald head, LOL.

I think there might be CGI on this hot springs establishment…

This is Reigen, king of bulls*%$, everyone!

Nanbanzuke.

“[P]air of plumbers”, eh…?

Ooh, 8-bit graphics! Remember season 2’s early scenes? That 8-bit one was good.

Dude, Reigen…just leave the train already…then you’ll get out.

LOL, “Mobpis”...Mobpis 100, maybe?

Strangely, Teru looks vaguely hot in one frame of one scene where he has his eyes closed.

Why do I get the feeling the capybaras on TV will be relevant later…?

Now, this parallel world brings a new meaning to “Infinity Train”!

Nice callback to the opening words of s1 and 2.

…and randomly, Dimple can be seen in the red waves.

It seems Dimple likes sprouting legs these days.

Cop Craft 11

Tourte’s career…almost sounds like Trump’s…

“No one treats me like an alien.”

Don’t bring a sword to a gun fight, Tilarna…

The name “transitional crises” is perfect for this episode…geesh. Just like episode 1, there’s a cliffhanger.

Dr Stone 11

Notice the focus on E=mc2 when Senku talks about passing on knowledge.

Ahh, science…the cliché says it’s for loners, but truth be told, science works in tag teams just like anything else. (Yes, even IT, if you look at it a certain way – such as how creating your code builds upon the people who built that code and the people who made the programs you code in.

Why do all the villagers have platform shoes anyway???

Demon Slayer 26 (FINAL)

Is that woman (not the Biwa player, the other one)…Muzan?! Update: Yes.

Genya…he got so tall in 2 years(ish)…poor Tanjiro. He’s fated to kill Kibutsuji, but he’s also fated to be short.

Does every girl in this series have to fall in love with Tanjiro?!?! (or be implied to be shippable with him, even Nezuko???) I obviously don’t like that kind of direction, as you can see.

Ah, Kanao speaks…for once.

I guess Nezuko has a really loud heart voice, to contrast Kanao’s tiny heart voice, so to speak.

How does Inosuke eat anything through the boar head if he’s taking it off all the time now to do things with his mouth???

Darn that ninja Giyu, leaving as soon as he feels sentimental. (LOL)

*starts yelling at top of lungs* MU-GEN TRAIN! (roughly to the tune of TM Network’s Love Train, which I heard about a few months before this)

I just realised Tanjiro’s probably never seen a train, considering the only transport he’s ever known is maybe a carriage/cart…or maybe just his legs.

As Zenitsu’s struggling to keep up with the train, I almost expect the Harry Potter theme to play and a flying car to appear in the distance…okay, I’m kidding about the car, but I did wish for a second the Harry Potter song would play. Nur-nurr-nur-nurrrrrr-nur-nurrrrrr-nurr…(or something)

Cop Craft 12 (FINAL)

“…taking the lead in the mayoral lead.” – That sounds redundant.

Hey! It’s that one Demon Slayer joke again! (i.e. Kei used his head.)

Dead Randall: too much for TV.

I still can’t believe they properly managed to incorporate the porn case into the finale…

I watched Hellsing today and all this “Sir Matoba” this and “Sir Matoba” that made me wonder…why is Integra a “Sir” as well…?

Zelada does look like Alucard in some senses…hmm.

I think the large bruise over Kei’s eye disappeared in one of the scenes…Now it’s just under his eye.

Wait, Tilarna has a sibling??? Wuh???

I like how they transitioned into the OP, but man…talk about a fast ending. That’s a Hellsing kinda ending fo’ sure. Oh well, see you next time.

Ahiru no Sora 1

New season, new faces, new series. Let’s get into it.

Man, this sparrow freaks me out…

Lyrics from the outset. This must be something special to warrant such a thing.

I always thought Kuzuryuu (“nine-headed dragon”, literally translating) was a cool surname to have! Or just a place name, in this case.

LOL, his name is Momohara (peach field).

The arcade machine says “fist” in the back.

Uh-oh…nothing ever goes right when a boy tries peeping into the girl’s locker room…

*sigh* The male gaze…geesh.

“What are you doing?!” (Nani yatterun da?!) doesn’t translate to “This isn’t the circus!”.

Oh right…Momo = 100, chi = 1000, haru = spring, aki = autumn.

Hey, Chiaki actually got Sora’s name right for once…

Basically everything I know about basketball is from Kuroko no Basuke, so…uh…Sora’s reminding me of Kuroko right now.

Shinchou Yuusha 1

I just call this “TUEEE” instead…don’t mind me. Obviously, my target here is Ume…y’know that, right?

Most of these gods and goddesses look suckish, but I wouldn’t mind an anime about the one with the long hair and Monkey King headband.

Ristarte’s already a bundle of fun…although her leg jiggling’s a bit annoying…

(mocking) There must be a downside to this, right, Listarte…?

Can we not with boob storage??? I bet no matter how big a woman’s knockers are, you can’t store anything between ‘em in real life! (I think we’d need an anime Mythbusters for something like that…make it happen, someone!)

YesyesyesyesYES! OOH, Ristarte, you sure know how to pick ‘em! The fact he’s over 180 cm in height is…well, it’s bad for trying to kiss him, but otherwise it’s just a cherry on the cake of smokin’ HOT!

“[F]ish story”??? You mean “fishy”, right? (Oh well, seems like synonyms work too…)

I…don’t quite get this song…but I think I saw a hot guy (might’ve been a woman, but I’d like it to be a man since there are already so many women in the OP as is) about halfway through the OP. It’s a real 2 for 1 bargain here, people. Update: Argh…that’s a woman after all…

Argh! *is suddenly sabotaged by one Ariadoa* If you’ve read the Spellbook, you’ll know one of my aliases is “Aria Noyed”. It just happens to be the same as an anime and manga already, but now I have it ruining my fun here too…

LOL, did you hear that “ba-bing!” acquistion sound when Rista produced the money?

To be honest, I think regular Seiya (with the purple-highlighted armour as you see here) looks pretty hot anyway (plus Ume’s voice, which I came for), so I think I have a lock-in for the season right here.

The sakuga in this show is way too good (according to all the cubes of soil I keep seeing)!

This ED is a pretty cool bop, yo.

[apocalypto12related]

Do all of them!

1: is there a boy/girl in your life?

Ye! Sammy! @deziac

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Um... My family, probably, and no.

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

Kitty! I love kitties!

4: what’s something you really want right now?

an apartment. on a less serious side, um, glasses???

5: are you afraid of falling in love?

Nope! I already have and since we’re poly im sure i will again owo

6: do you like the beach?

so/so. depends on my mood.

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

um... a pull out sofa, does that count? i have a hard time sleeping unless i can fully lie down.

8: what’s the background on your cell?

my old phone was tony my new phone is space. not sure what it’ll be soon. >w>;; considering i need to redownload all the stuff i got off tumblr. :’( i lost all my snapchat stuff, but i moved all of izaya to my computer so that’s fine.

9: name the last four beds you were sat on?

what??? O_o; um... a homeless shelter’s bed and other than that they were all my own??? (not counting the “bed” made of sheets at the one place.)

10: do you like your phone?

i just got a new one!! uwu It has 32GB with it’s own internal storage and I have a 32GB sd card. nwn;; So I have a lot of space~! plus it has a fingerprint sensor and im in love with unlocking it like that owo

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned?

prolly not, but when do they?

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

sammy! bc we both got new phhones!

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?

i heard poodles have bad temperaments!! idk about rottweilers!! whichever one is nicer??/

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

emotional!! physical heals!! short time span for pain! emotional might not go away!

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

DONt mmake me chosoelk??! i love both!!! i lovemy fluffy butts and i went to the met in new york!!! it was so cool!!! swords!! armor!! egypt!! aahhhh!!! i cant choose!!

16: are you tired?

im always tired!!!

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact?

um... well it’s sammy

so uh, ten years in march owo (technically december was the first time we met!! but we count it as march since that’s when he started talking rly)

18: are they a relative?

no!!

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

it depends on if they changed their personality!! if not then no!! i mean i did get back with sammy but yknow we just count that as a break since we did actually get back together lmao

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

this morning!! she is at work so she’s not too talkative rn!

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

we’re fine with what we’re at!! i don’t need to marry her to make it ‘official’!! we’ve lasted almost 9 years and through some big hardships!! both of us unmedicated and dealing with new medication changes, so i think we’re fine!!

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

of course!! :P

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

two!! my blue sylveon bracelet (i love sylveon, i would wear umbreon but i think i packed it!!!) and my pride rainbow bracelet! i took them off when we were looking for a shelter bc i was scared we’d get denied if they saw obvious gay signs :(

24: is there a certain quote you live by?

not directly!! something along the lines of that there is no set path in life you have to choose which ways you want to twist and turn and they’ll lead you onto new and bigger things.

25: what’s on your mind?

music! stuff for my phone! i have a lot of stuff i need to add to eeet!! it’s only a day oolllddd.

26: do you have any tattoos?

yes! it’s for my kitty who passed away! Her name was luna. I’m sure i’ve posted a picture somewhere.

27: what is your favorite color?

#00C5FF

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

prolly tonight. owo

29: who are you texting?

Sammy owo

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

probably?? lol what.

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

YES ACTUALLY D: idk if it happened any other time, but when we got into the car accident when I told our one friend we were joking about her coming up and hanging with us all my brain said was ‘You shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that.’ and again when we went out to the car and it was pretty heavy snow fall. I was like ‘I shouldn’t go.’ my problem with that one was I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t think ‘we shouldn’t go’. but... what can you do now?

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

um. i don’t think i have a super close opposite sex friend. closest would probably be @h0bsyrup

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you?

I’m sure Sammy does. >w> I’m not sure otherwise. My followers don’t tell me that stuff.

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

Yes omg. Sammy was staring me in the eyes the other day and was like ‘your eyes are pretty’ and i’m like ‘omfg shut up >//

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

if they’re not dating then she’s gonna punch their lights out, so i don’t have to worry.

36: were you single on valentines day?

November 24th, 2008 is when I started dating Sammy. You tell me.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed?

... of course?? wtf is with these kiss questions.

38: what do your friends call you?

Kiki :D

39: has anyone upset you in the last week?

lil bit.

40: have you ever cried over a text?

Um... probably. I can’t remember.

41: where’s your last bruise located?

omg... um i guess undermy belly button is the latest bruise??? i have a lot atm from surgery and being motionless for four days!!

42: what is it from?

Sammy actually like harshly pushed on that area. like when you go to land somewhere with your full weight then you go ‘oh fuck’ yeah.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

um... recently??? but i guess not as bad as with my mom.

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with?

Sammy owo

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Nah.

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

No.my hair style is like 99% bun.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style?

i dont follow trends i set them.

48: do you make supper for your family?

not recently but i would for sammy and i usually

49: does your bedroom have a door?

i don’t have a “bedroom” atm e.e

50: top 3 web-pages?

tambo.c0m (tumblr), archiveofourown.org (ao3), youtube.com (the three i use the most anyway)

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Sammy. xD at least food shopping.

52: does anything on your body hurt?

Abdomen. (:

53: are goodbyes hard for you?

it depends. if it’s unnecessary then prolly. if they’ve fucked me over idc. (i.e. my family trying to replace my mom’s abusiveness, fuck them.)

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

prolly water owo

55: how is your hair?

it’s feeling fine, thank you for asking!

56: what do you usually do first in the morning?

it depends! if it’s my “morning” i wake up and usually bathroom.

57: do you think two people can last forever?

sure but it takes work. it’s not gonna be perfect 24/7 without communication or compromise.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?

ye. omfg why would you give me nightmares. that’s when i started the rping side of myspce and met that douche wesley. his lying ass made me start self harming. fuck him.

59: green or purple grapes?

i don’t eat grapes .w.;;

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug?

sometime in the future! prolly sammy!

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

in an apartment. >w> or at the pompeii exhibit!!!

62: when will be the next time you text someone?

possibly today

63: where will you be 5 hours from now?

lying in bed. :D

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning.

struggling to be alive. (eating chocolate chip muffins)

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked?

oh god. w8 no. i didn’t like anyone yet. that started like october or shit. ugh my ex. he became an ass. (aside from sammy obvs)

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

sammy!!

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today?

um... i don’t think so. i think we were both too tired and stressed. we didn’t get into bed until like 1 and the shelter has us be out of beds by 8:30 x3x;

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

um... ‘i should go back to sleep’ after waking up a third time and distracting myself with the phone

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

yeah,but at least i tried.

70: how many windows are open on your computer?

it’s not *my* computer, so it doesn’t count! ;D (8 but im downloading music stfu)

71: how many fingers do you have?

i have 10. my one pinky counts as a half finger sometimes though. i broke it and bc i didnt have insurance i never went to a doctor to get it fully take care of so it healed up all wrong.

72: what is your ringtone?

default at the moment!

73: how old will you be in 5 months?

oh fuck i’ll be 24. man if you asked me that back in june i’d be like ‘still 23 (;’ but no. my bday is december

74: where is your mum right now?

She passed away. :/

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

I realize that as much as I wanted to believe it was love, it never fully blossomed into that until I was with Sammy. I don’t think I’ve truly ever gotten to love anyone else, but that’s okay.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

of course owo sammy and i are hella gay don’t u know.

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

i believe so owo we just don’t talk as much bc im a lazy sack of shit.

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

fuck. i think i had a minor crush on some dude who also liked green day but never fuckin talked to me so i never bothered. that might’ve also technically been when i started liking wesley. does billie joe from green day count?

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike?

personally? uh.... i’m not totally sure o-o; fuck me man.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

probably wait yes. sammy. spooning is our fave position.

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months?

e.e no one that wasn’t a celebrity. 

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

no bc shelter e.e

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight?

:P i talk to them everyday.

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

i wouldn’t get drunk! i wouldn’t scream at ppl! that’s rude! ppl usually can’t even hear you when you yell at the window! we hear ‘whoosh’ with your voice in the middle’

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care?

i would be concerned since she’s said she doesn’t like them!!

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

um... oh! a conversation started and a lil girl asked if we were in a certain theatre and I said ‘no we were in theatre blah’ so I asked what they went and saw. She said “Wonder Woman” “hey we just came out of that, too!” :P

87: who was your last received call from?

.3.; sammy

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

i-i’m torn??? i needm oney but poor butter-san... ;____;

89: what is something you wish you had more of?

money. clothes maybe

90: have you ever trusted someone too much?

yeah. lmao.

91: do you sleep with your window open?

i usually do! esp in the winter/summer! need air and love cold!

92: do you get along with girls?

ye!

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

no. owo

94: does sex mean love?

no! sex is something that can bring someone closer, but it is not necessary for a relationship! 

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

>3>;;; again, no.

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

owo; indirectly. i shared a drink with someone who had one. xD

97: did you sleep alone this week?

not this week! :D last week. ;~; at the hospital.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

yes. >3>

99: do you believe in love at first sight?

no!!! that’s not love!! you might end up loving them but you can’t love someone unless you know them!! :c otherwise it’ll lead to some bad decisions!! D:

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise?

OwO Sammy I think.

[yessoupy]

2016 fic retrospective

no one’s tagged me for this, but i need to do it because i got shit to write this year and i need a kick in the ass.

1. List of works published this year:

a man, a planet, a house, and a tree (technically december 2015); making space; mutant; on babies; memoria

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

a man, a planet, a house, and a tree. the first fan fiction i ever read was star wars. i’d been kinda sad that after seeing the force awakens i didn’t jive with the main ship (finn/poe aka stormpilot) so couldn’t really get into the sudden explosion of fic. the second time i saw the movie i saw the guy who took poe’s helmet from him and i decided that would be my ship -- after scouring the imdb page and posting a comment on the actor’s instagram page for confirmation, thus was born poe dameron/resistance soldier. i gave him a name, and a backstory, and gave them a story. what i’ve always loved about the star wars universe is how VAST it is, and how many stories can exist in it without even touching on what we see in the movies or even read in the books. i could write about these two forever!! ALSO i wrote the whole thing without defining a gender for BB-8, and none of the references were tortured. :)

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

on babies. i had this concept of harry as a pediatrician but the research involved would be wayyyyyyy too much, so i made him a nurse instead and rushed right through the entire thing to get it out. i’m least proud of it because it deserved more time than it got.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

i’ll do one from each, since i finished so little, lol.

a man, a planet, a house, and a tree (in 2 short paragraphs i was able to build in huge pieces of marek’s backstory, if you’re more than a casual star wars fan):

“You understand why I do this, right?” Poe asks quietly, fingering the yellow piping on Marek’s pants. He’d tried once to pry out of Marek how he’d earned his Bloodstripe to no avail. He’d registered the mix of pain and pride in the soldier’s eyes and hadn’t tried again.

“I do,” Marek answers. “I just want you to come home to me every time you leave. And crashing squints into desert planets isn’t going to result in that outcome more than once.” Marek’s gaze flicks down to Poe’s chest. He traces the letters of his own surname beneath the crest of the Resistance. A N T I L L E S, with the second L halfway gone from wear. Poe closes his eyes at the soft touch and feels his deep exhaustion pulling at his consciousness.

making space 

“Okay. Fine.” He takes a deep breath. “When I was holding them, they were so warm and squirmy and ... god, it’s been years since I held a child that young. They’re so close to the womb, you know? They’ve spent longer inside of her than outside of her and ... I just wonder. What that would be like.”

“To be in the womb?” Bryan hopes this isn’t Jared’s surprise hidden kink, he’s not sure how he’s going to meet expectations on that one. Shower sex with the bathroom lights off and hot water? God, if he wants, like, a birth experience ... that could get messy. Also, the thought of that ... kind of gross. He could probably, like, tolerate it, but just barely. He won’t get hard, that’s for sure.

“No, to ... to have one. To have that capacity.” Jared locks eyes with him in the mirror. “Women are amazing.”

Bryan smiles down at him. “A touch jealous you lack the parts to bring life into the world with just a little assist?”

He bites his lip. “Maybe ... maybe a little.”

mutant

“Who’s a mutant?” Ryan asks, dragging his eyes away from Jason Lezak.

Michael waves at the dark-haired boy pulling himself out of the pool. “Cseh.”

Ryan scoffs and reaches for his hotel towel and briefs. “That’s not Cseh. Cseh is bald.”

Michael hasn’t known Ryan long, just through the training trip, and so he is still being surprised by Ryan’s idiosyncrasies. Or idiocy, he’s not sure yet. “Cseh shaves his head.”

Halfway through his deckchange, Ryan stops and cocks his head to the side. “Oh, well that makes more sense.”

on babies

Harry is just easing the crying newborn onto her mother’s chest when the paramedics board the bus. One of them accidentally kicks his phone, Louis still on the line, and the teen picks it up, takes over handling the call while Harry updates the paramedics on Sarah’s status. Sarah cries and refuses to let go of his hand as they load her onto a stretcher and they busy themselves with checking the vitals of the new baby.

The elderly woman -- Mary, she’d told Sarah to call her, Mary -- reaches up and dabs at his cheeks with her handkerchief. He hadn’t realized he was crying.

memoria

First things first, he’s debriefed. He’s clinical in his description because he has to be. When he recounts his interrogation, he describes what happened and that’s it.

“He raised his hand and I felt a pressure inside of my skull.”

He was pushing around in there, rooting through my memories.

“I knew he wanted the location of the map, so I thought about everything else. It was hard to hold onto the mundane ideas -- I started with a TIE fighter’s schematics -- so I moved to more personal thoughts.”

Marek Marek Marek my love your hands steady oil-stained Marek my soldier

“That worked for awhile, I think he was getting frustrated, but eventually ... I’m sorry. I ran out of energy.”

General Organa shushes him and squeezes his arm. “It’s alright. You did as well as you could.” He can see the pain in her eyes. “Commander, is there anything else about his interrogation technique that might be helpful in understanding his capabilities?”

General Organa never says his name. Either of them. Poe sighs. “I don’t know. I think ... I think he took something from me. But I don’t know what it is.” He blinks, a sick feeling settling into his stomach. “I guess I never will.”

General Organa nods at her assistant, who stops recording.

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I know you probably think this is so old by now, but I love this concept so much and I've read this at least 6 times now! Just like.... please write more

This review encouraged me to write another poe/marek piece i had kicking around, so that piece (memoria) was dedicated to this person i don’t know!

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

felt like ALL the time it was ... one time i sat down to write and cleaned the entire kitchen!

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

i really love marek. he’s essentially an omc so it’s probably no surprise that he is my favorite, but outside of my novel i haven’t attempted a fully-developed OC. i’m pissed at myself for making his bloodstripe a mystery to poe -- it’s fucking up some other stuff i’m trying to write. i might go in and change that actually ....

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I think I’ve done a better job taking an idea from inception to fruition? and also, writing the shit i wanted to read. 

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I’d like to write and post more. In 2015 I posted a lot of stuff I really liked but knew I’d never finish (basically same thing as with Mutant). I need to finish some shit.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Oh, I chatted with @missboomissquick about just about everything I wrote this year. She’s always encouraging!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

last semester i had to teach psychology. i finished memoria after i taught the unit on memory!!

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Even if you think it’s absolute shit, write it. If you finish it, publish it. You won’t get any better if you don’t practice. that’s not new wisdom, but eh.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I have a Poe/Marek I was plotting that would take place after TFA, going to Corellia to pick up some more ships (because the Resistance is woefully under-shipped????). It’s so much fucking research to write in the new canon, so I decided that I could write Poe/Marek as an AU in the old EU, since I’ve read all that shit and wouldn’t have to research as much. But idk what the plot would be in that one. :/ For most of 2016 I set aside my original novel (it’s political in nature and shit with the Trump nomination and election just fucked with my head so I had to let those guys take a seat for awhile). I need to pick it back up and make some decisions about it -- i have 4 different routes for it. At least. I also have a Larry faux mpreg I really want to write, but I have to change the premise again. 

14. Tag three (or as many) writers whose answers you’d love to read:

meh, do it if you want! i’m not gonna pressure anyone.

[mauridianhallow]

All of the questions xoxo

Hey Anon, what's up, how're you, wanna get breakfast, maybe see an early film? Hmu Also these took forever and I hate you thank you for asking 😂 (I love these kinda things) 1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? There is not, hasn't been for a while haha 
2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? I do, because at the heart of it all, they were afraid. I've acted out of fear before, I wasn't proud of it. They were afraid and they acted out, it's been a long time and took me a while to get here, but I don't hold it against them. 
3:What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” I...I can't answer that omg there's this inside joke between my friends and I and this...thing that happened almost a year ago just yeah I can't answer that Jesus Christ 
4: What’s something you really want right now? Mental stability my dudes and also a coffee and maybe some physical affection because I realise it's been nearly 4 months since I actually hugged someone and that kinda sucks. 
5: Are you afraid of falling in love? Terrified, but not in the bad way, in the way you're supposed to be scared of falling for someone. 
6: Do you like the beach? I am inclined to give to answers, that I like MALTESE beaches because that country is like a second home, and I hate SCOTTISH beaches because they are not fucking beaches 😂 
7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Never with someone as far as I can remember. 
8: What’s the background on your cell? It's the Assassin's Creed insignia. 
9: Name the last four beds you were sat on? Oh right, easy, eh, my friends: Andrew's, Laura's, Carol's and my nephew's. 
10: Do you like your phone? I do like my phone, it's an iPhone SE. 
11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned? No they aren't, but a plan is only as good as how well it holds up when it fails, my English teacher used to say that to me and it's the truth as far as I'm concerned. Things aren't going to plan, nor are they going badly. 
12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? Some girl in Firewater who I never called, who never called me, and I should probably delete. 
13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? Comparing dogos is wrong and I shall have both please they will be called Alduin and Paarthurnax. 
14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Right now, both. 
15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Zoo for me! 
16: Are you tired? I'm always tired 😔 
17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact? Considering it's my mum? Haha about 20 years now! 
18: Are they a relative? Yes. 
19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Consider, probably. Actually do it? Never. 
20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? Probably the night that I kissed them which was ages ago and not really a big deal. 
21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? No, even if they were The One™ we would still be too young. 
22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Not really. 
23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? I don't wear them sadly. 
24: Is there a certain quote you live by? Laa shay'a waqi'un moutlaq bale kouloun moumkine, that is to say, nothing is true and everything is permitted. 
25: What’s on your mind? Food, having not eaten in a while, and college having not studied in a while. 
26: Do you have any tattoos? I have a few, 3 to be exact. 
27: What is your favorite color? Red or light grey. 
28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? The next time myself and a person who wants to kiss, kiss. So probably never again lol 
29: Who are you texting? Lots of people, mostly my sister to pick up milk. 
30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? I have not. 
31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? A few times, the last I can remember clearly was way back in August last year, when I was at my friends house, and my phone rang. 
32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? I do, a few. All of them I trust, all my friends. Near or far haha 
33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I wouldn't know, unless they felt like telling me. 
34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? I have brown eyes, so, not really. Which is a shame, because brown eyes are beautiful. 
35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? Good for them?? I don't really know how I'm supposed to react to these questions. 
36: Were you single on Valentines Day? Lol yup. 
37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed? I'm just gonna ignore these kissing questions now wtf 😂😂 no I am not! 
38: What do your friends call you? Condie. 
39: Has anyone upset you in the last week? The last week? Not really no, it's been a chill-ish week. 
40: Have you ever cried over a text? I have. 
41: Where’s your last bruise located? My face, where most of my bruises have been located recently. All healed up now tho. 
42: What is it from? I was in an accident, got some pretty bad facial injuries. Like I said, all healed up. 
43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Usually every Monday in Psychology 😂 but in all seriousness, my house sometimes. Just, miss going out as much. 
44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with? My sister. 
45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? I do, I have a pair of white converse I bought when I was in London, and they remind me of a pair I had when I was a kid. I love them!
46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? Yeah so that's why I'm wearing a hat in most pictures 😂 I love my hats leave me alone! 
47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style? Probably not. 
48: Do you make supper for your family? We don't really do supper. 
49: Does your bedroom have a door? It does indeed! 
50: Top 3 web-pages? Fallout Wiki, Stanford University Sociology, tumblr.hellsite. 
51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping? Now I think on it, I don't. 
52: Does anything on your body hurt? My soul? Ahaha nah my teeth, I don't get my face fixed fully till next Friday so I'm pretty much always in pain. 
53: Are goodbyes hard for you? They can be, depending on the person. 
54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Coffee, last night. Stupid thing to do really! 
55: How is your hair? I haven't left my bed yet so eh not great 😂 
56: What do you usually do first in the morning? Check my phone. 
57: Do you think two people can last forever? If they work at it, yeah. 
58: Think back to January 2007, were you single? I was 10 years old. 
59: Green or purple grapes? Purple all the way! 
60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? Ahaha starved for physically affection this question makes me sad. 
61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? With friends? 
62: When will be the next time you text someone? Later today probably. 
63: Where will you be 5 hours from now? Probably still in this fucking house. 
64: What were you doing at 8 this morning. On tumblr I think. 
65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked? I was in a relationship this time last year. 
66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? There is. A message from any of my friends, or my niece and nephew. 
67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today? I hate these questions now, I'm lonely you asshole. 
68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Gosh darn I hope I can sleep tonight. 
69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Hey look it's the title of my autobiography 😂 yeah son 
70: How many windows are open on your computer? Six. 
71: How many fingers do you have? 10...
72: What is your ringtone? Because I'm a Fucking Nerd™ the TARDIS noise. 
73: How old will you be in 5 months? Twenty. 
74: Where is your Mum right now? At work I think. 
75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? AhAhahaha because the world is a cruel place 
76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Can these physical affection questions actually fuck off? 
77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? I am indeed, and I fail to see why, according to some people, that's a bad thing. 
78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? Lol yeah I do 
79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? There is not. 
80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? I have, a few times. 
81: How many people have you liked in the past three months? Maybe one or two? I'm not really sure I'm so starved of love these days I can honestly start to like someone if they are nice to me. 
82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? Nah. 
83:Will you talk to the person you like tonight? How about N O P E on this question. 
84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? Alice, my legendary drinking buddy, or Heather, my other legendary drinking buddy, or ALTERNATIVELY, we're not harassing innocent people on the streets because that's fucking creepy and who does that???? You choose which one you think is right. 
85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? Anything over weed and I'd be pissed. 
86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? It was Logan and everyone cried. 
87: Who was your last received call from? My sister. 
88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? Y'know what, I would. Yeah it's fucking awful and disgusting and I'd feel bad but I'm also a student, I'm poor with bills to pay and I kinda need food. So yeah I would. 
89: What is something you wish you had more of? Time. 
90: Have you ever trusted someone too much? I have. 
91: Do you sleep with your window open? Hell no because I'm no barbarian 😂 and also Scotland is freezing! 
92: Do you get along with girls? I do, I get along with most people. 
93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? Everyone is. 
94: Does sex mean love? Sex means whatever you want it to mean. 
95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? O H. MY. GOD. 
96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? I think so...? I'm not sure. Would be up for it but I can't remember. 
97: Did you sleep alone this week? I'm always alone dude. 
98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? My friends yup. 
99: Do you believe in love at first sight? For some people sure, if it ever happens with me, I'll be the first to tell y'all. 
100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise? I can't remember sadly.