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esotericakit · 3 years

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Fancy ranting about why you love kit snicket?👀 tbh I never found her character that compelling but I’m extreme open to changes of opinion hhh? pls feel free to ignore this hhgkkgkg

oh my god i’m so sorry i’ve been super busy I only just saw this but ahhh I love this question ((also sorry if some of thisk doesn’t make sense, i just got off a 7 hour bus ride and I am sleep deprived)). also a tw here for some discussions of painful stuff like death, loss, grief, implications of suicidal thoughts (nothing graphic)

okay so that’s valid bc she doesn’t get a lot to work with in tpp BUUUUUT what you do get is very rich. so basically it’s all tied in with vfd and what they’ve done to the sugarbowl gen. every member of the sugarbowl gen has been ripped from their family extremely young and recruited into this organisation, forced into life threatening situations, kept from loved ones for long periods of time (like kit and lemony in atwq) and have sort of convinced themselves, to varying degrees, that it’s important because the organisation is important. with lemony, he’s disillusioned and disappears after heartbreak. with beatrice and bertrand, they decide to pull away and leave. with jacques, he buries himself so deeply into his work with vfd so that he doesn’t have to reckon with what they did to him. and then you have kit.

with kit, I think she isn’t as sold to vfd as jacques and can still be somewhat critical of it, but also recognises that she’s trapped and always will be at their beck and call, and it’s not easy to break out from this illusion of the mighty organisation she’s a part of. she’s a quick thinker, she’s a mechanic, she’s resilient, she’s quick-witted, she’s as good a volunteer as they come, and so they exploit that and use her gifts (like building the queequeg and having her make the poison darts). for the most part, she buys into vfd’s bullshit, but i think it’s a sort of defence mechanism where she knows that resistance is going to be harder than compliance, so she puts her head down and does the work.

and this leads her to do things that she maybe wouldn’t have done of her own free will, like aiding in the murder of olaf’s parents. we don’t know exactly what kit and olaf’s relationship was like, but from what’s given in their interaction in te, i think they were young sweethearts, i think kit did genuinely care for him, and i think that it was vfd that ordered the murder, and not beatrice and bertrand, as many people have implied. so, by giving beatrice and bertrand the darts, she chooses the organisation over her relationship, and it can’t have been an easy choice. this then re-ignites the schism, olaf becomes a firestarter and kit has to watch as her brother is framed by olaf for crimes he didn’t commit.

and then lemony dies, or so she thinks. i’m of the mind that kit never learns that her brother is actually alive, and dies thinking she lost him. and we know that family is one of the most important things to the snickets; “we snickets look out for their own”, and I imagine kit going beside herself trying to find ways to protect lemony from all the attacks, the frame jobs, the rumours, only to have it be too late, and she’s lost her brother forever.

and so she’s left there, mourning lemony, and all she has left of her family is jacques. and she loves jacques but his first priority is vfd, it’ll always be vfd. she has beatrice and bertrand, but they’ll leave to the island soon, and they’ll leave vfd after that, and be largely out of her life for good.

she starts building the queequeg and at last, her vfd work seems to be doing some good. she meets ink, monty’s latest discovery, and at last, it seems that other members of vfd are doing some good. and then she hears about the medusoid mycelium, and the illusion of vfd cracks a little bit more. she desperately tries to stop gregor from creating the mycelium, only for that to fail. another loss.

then, we don’t know the nature of kit and dewey’s relationship so again, going off what we have with the fact that she is pregnant when we meet her and that dewey’s last word is “kit”, not to mention the way that she explicitly asked about dewey’s wellbeing when she meets the baudelaires on the island, the implication is heavily that she and dewey are romantically involved. and I think she found a lot of solace in dewey. dewey, in his own way, had lost a lot, from his parents to his brother (joining the firestartera), to his own identity, all to vfd, and he understood where she was coming from in terms of being disillusioned but also being trapped.

and then the baudelaire fire happens, and it’s very clear to everyone that olaf was involved (whether he actually was or not is a different debate). so this is now 3 people who kit has loved that olaf has had a hand in their deaths. someone she loved killing other people she loved, and it’s the most painful thing.

we don’t know where kit is for the events of asoue, but regardless, she has to hear how other associates and friends have died or been killed at the hands of olaf, and each one hurts more than the last, because she can’t stop or slow down how many people she’s losing, and I think there’s an element of not being able to help but blame herself for his actions, because if she hadn’t helped kill his parents, maybe he wouldn’t be doing this.

and then jacques dies, and it’s the biggest blow yet. she just lost the last member of her family she had left, and she can’t cope, she stays in bed and decides that, despite dewey, despite her child, she’ll never leave her bed again.

what does make her leave, however, is vfd business; the message from quigley. she knows that she can’t even take the time to mourn her brother, she has to keep moving, and the pressure to carry the whole “good” side of vfd, to continue what her brother started, is on her shoulders, and that’s immense.

and so that’s when we meet her in tpp, and she is a broken person. she has lost so many people, been put through so much, had her entire worldview and foundation turned upside down, and she’s still doing all of this work, putting her life on the line over and over again, for an organisation that has done nothing but take things from her and hurt her, but there’s absolutely nothing else she can do. she’s pregnant and she can’t allow herself to be happy or excited about that because she just doesn’t have it in her. all she knows is that she has to get through this as quickly as she can, losing as few people as she can. her conversation with the baudelaires is interesting too, and is so exemplary of how she’s mourning; she remembers little details about beatrice and bertrand (like the feathers on bea’s shawl) and reminisces about how much the children look like them, and you can tell that it’s extremely painful to go through

she then leaves the baudelaires and risks her life again trying to rescue the quagmires, and it’s unclear whether it was a success or not but regardless, when she finally pulls herself up onto that stupid book raft she insists on making, she’s so so so so tired. she’s in labour, she doesn’t know what’s happened at the hotel denouement, she doesn’t know whether she’ll return to the city and find more destruction or not. i think the only thing stopping her from giving up while on that raft is the thought of her child and dewey, so she holds on.

she washes up on the island and the baudelaires are there, which means they’re alive, so that’s something. but then she hears that dewey’s dead. that the hotel went up in flames. that all that’s waiting for her in the city is more pain and more loss. and that’s the final blow, that’s the moment that she knows that there is nothing can happen that can repair the damage created by what’s been taken from her. she refuses the apple, citing fear that it would harm the baby, but I think the truth is that she couldn’t bear to consider continuing her life after all that’s happened, even if it means sacrificing a life with her child.

and then olaf shows up and he rescues her from the raft and she’s suddenly face to face with the reason for so much of the loss she’s faced. it was him who killed so many of her associates, her friends, her brothers. and she doesn’t forgive him, because she knows she isn’t big enough to do that. we can also hypothesise about whether or not olaf could be the baby’s father (i like to headcanon that she doesn’t know either way but it’s either dewey’s or olaf’s, and the stress of that makes this moment even harder). but she also doesn’t have the energy to be angry at him. she knows these are her last moments, and she knows that olaf was a victim of vfd, just like she was. so she touches his tattoo and chooses instead to recite poetry, because it’s easier than being angry, it’s easier than hating him. he recites poetry back, and then dies. and despite the fact that he’s hurt her so much, she did care for him once, it’s one more person she’s lost, when she didn’t think she had anyone else to lose.

and then she gives birth to her daughter, using the last ounces of strength she has left. it’s a horrendously sad thing, because i think she could have had the capacity to love her daughter, to be a good mother, but the pain won out and she stopped being able to want to help herself, if that makes sense. so she gives her daughter life, the only thing she has left to give her, and then dies.

I think it’s so staggering to think about this person, who could have lived a life full of colour and fire, and see her completely beaten down to what she ended up as in tpp. she’s a prime example of what vfd does, she’s the last one standing of her generation, and the toll that takes on her is immense. i think the juxtaposition of her recklessness and her grief against the fact that she’s pregnant and about to become a mother is even more heartbreaking. she’s such a compelling character and so gorgeously written, even though what we see of her is so brief. she’s a person who so desperately wants autonomy and control over her situation, things she’ll never truly have, so she does reckless things that endanger her life, to get that control back and because she truly stops caring about her well-being.

and it’s a little comforting i guess? i tend to project onto kit a lot because of some of my own life experiences and losses and i understand where she comes from a lot of time time and it’s such a difficult place and my heart just hurts for her a lot

i’m sorry that this was so long, i got carried away lol thanks for the question though!!

#kit snicket #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #fran rants about kit snicket again

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serpentstole · 3 years

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Luciferian Challenge: Day 12+13 (And 22)

A few of these prompts ended up being very similar in theme, so I’ve combined them into a bit of a long reply.

Dogma is something we throw about…that we reject it. Where do you think we may fall short as Luciferians/Satanists when it comes to dogma? Do you think dogma has a certain value?

I don’t think dogma has any value really, no, as I don’t like the idea of rules or ideas that cannot be questioned on principle. Even as a child, I took issue with blind obedience. My mother once called me downstairs, and I asked why, and my father got angry and said that I shouldn’t bother to ask why and just do it, and that even if one of them told me to jump out of a window they probably had a good reason for it.

That memory is seared into my brain and still irks me.

I do think rules themselves can be important, but when we speak of rejecting dogma it’s typically in the sense of it being some authoritative status quo that cannot be discussed or challenged. I think my example above is a good example of that, as petty as it may seem: that parents should be obeyed without question and with the assumption they have our best interests at heart.

I do not believe there’s room for that sort of attitude in an empathetic and respectful society, even towards children. Respecting their natural curiosity and teaching them about bodily autonomy is something I think can only be a net good. The only thing growing up in a strict household taught me, where there was little room for negotiation or challenging of the way things were, was how to be a decent liar.

It harmed me in far more ways than it helped instill any positive values, and while I would not want to belittle the experiences of anyone in a similar boat, I consider myself one of the lucky ones. There are some families where a dogmatic stance, whether based in politics or religion, can lead to the alienation or outright abandonment of LGBT youth, of young women who wish control over their own bodies, of those with views that differ from their parents’, or any other black sheep.

I feel like this question and my thoughts on it really go hand in hand with the next one, so I’m going to actually combine them into one post and make up the difference later.

Do you think it’s dogma or silly to say what Luciferianism/Satanism is not?

I do not think it’s dogmatic to say what Luciferianism or Satanism is or isn’t. The reason I’ve kept both labels in these two prompts, when I’ve removed them in every other post, is because I spent a lot of time in a mixed Luciferian and Satanist community during the beginning of my religious journey. Despite our differences, especially in the case of Atheist Satanism versus Theistic Luciferianism, I saw a great deal of overlap in a lot of the values/ideals, inspirations, and talking points.

I think outlining those ideals and values is important to just… having a label. Words mean things. Religious affiliations and ideas mean things. Even saying you belong to or adhere to a school of thought typically has some manner of definition or parameters. While Luciferianism and Satanism can be incredibly diverse when it comes to the details of one’s ethics and morals, practices, views of the divinity or lack there of, and other suck points, there’s a good deal that does unite us that’s reflected in the archetypal figures our religions are named after. I also believe that certain aspects of what is seen as the Standard Luciferian should be weighed more or less heavily. For example, I don’t see my irritation with hostility towards Christianity as something that makes me less of a Luciferian.

However, I want to combine these two prompts with one more to round out my view of this topic.

What do you disagree with Luciferians/Satanists most?

In the goddamn dogma they cling to and perpetuate while claiming to be adversarial to or enlightened above such ideas. It’s become almost a meaningless buzzword. It barely still looks like a real word to me anymore. This is honestly where my post goes completely off the rails into a mini essay, so it’s under the cut.

The idea that all “Abrahamic” religions should be treated as inherently harmful and oppressive is a bad take.

That Christianity, Judaism, and Islam should even be lumped together when discussing such issues betrays a shallow understanding of these religions that’s been regurgitated from one person to another, typically through a culturally Christian lens.

The idea that “only LaVeyan Satanism should be called Satanism because nothing else that calls itself Satanism is actually Satanism” is exhausting, and I will fist fight Anton myself in hell.

The principles of Might Makes Right and Social Darwanism that some Satanists perpetuate is dumb and bad and wrong, sorry, that’s the only rebuttal I’m dignifying that school of thought with. Once again, I will be fist fighting Anton in hell.

And that’s to say nothing of the Satanists and Luciferians out there that regurgitate the same racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, and other assorted bigotries that they’ll condemn religions like Christanity for while perpetuating it with a coat of black paint. Because I have absolutely seen this first hand, both as an observer and as the target of it.

Like... I can’t speak on Islam at all, because I have very very limited experience with it from both a research and real life experience point of view, and thus I’m not comfortable making any claims. On the other hand, I do know that to list all the ways that Judaism is not a dogmatic religion would deserve its own post written by someone far more knowledgeable than me, and it somehow still gets lumped into the Problematic n’ Dogmatic category of AbRaHaMiC ReLiGiOnS. For that reason, in the case of Islam, I can’t help but wonder if the assumption that it’s also dogmatic comes from the harmful assumption that it’s a religion that’s strict to the point of harshness that a lot of people have.

Even in the case of Christianity, which I would argue (as someone who I’d say was raised within the church) is hands down the most seemingly dogmatic of the three (particularly in North America), this is just not universally true. If it was, there probably wouldn’t be so many branches and denominations, many of which cannot stand each other and think the rest are misguided at best and heretical at worst. This is something that’s even brought up in the Satanic Bible; I’ve read the miserable thing. Have you ever seen someone say “Christians and Catholics”? That’s a pretty loaded example of how much disagreement exists within the religion when an entire core branch of it is considered tangentially related.

Not to mention, I was raised Lutheran. That came about because a German Catholic got incredibly steamed at his own religion so he made a more boring different version of it. While the existence of dogma has led to these schisms, historically speaking, the end result has been a religion so varied that it’s hard to say what is and isn’t treated as inarguable law. If you don’t believe me, try talking to a Protestant pastor about the Seven Deadly Sins and see how far you get. I tried during confirmation class and got shut down immediately... but on the flip side, my church was pretty accepting of LGBT folks, which I think some people would claim Christianity is dogmatically against by default.

Is there dogmatic thinking within specific churches or branches or communities? Absolutely, I wouldn’t argue that. I think it can arise in any community, religious or not, but that some religious communities seem to be particularly vulnerable to it. But the harm those specific cases could do should be where our focus goes, not the condemnation of these religions or the concept of religion as a whole, which I touched on in a previous prompt.

I’m not some glorious enlightened mind. I would not want to give the impression that I think I hold in my hands the One True Way to do Luciferianism, or that I think the majority of this religious community are uncritical edgelords. This is, after all, my answer to the thing I take issue with the most, not my thoughts on Luciferianism or Satanism as a whole. I just don’t think it should be a particularly hot take that Religious Discrimination Is Bad Actually, or that maybe you can be rebellious and adversarial and hedonistic and enlightened while still genuinely giving a shit about people. Because otherwise what’s the point?

If we are hostile and rebellious with no actual end goal, no greater cause or purpose, we are simply being contrarian for the sake of it. If we blame the idea of organized religion instead of those who manipulate and abuse faith and scripture for selfish and malicious ends, we’ve missed the point, as I said in the aforementioned previous post. Not all of us have the ability to become an activist, obviously, and I would not ask you to. But I think as those who would claim to reject dogmatic thinking and strive to embody either the ideals of enlightenment or the adversary would do well to be ever questioning their preconceptions of the world around them, of other religions, and of less obvious unjust structures of power.

I don’t know why a community that believes in illumination and free thinking sees the world in such black and white ways.

While I will always strive for a greater understanding of the world, and I hold the concept of enlightenment very dear to my heart, I think it’s something that one spends a lifetime working towards. Alongside my favourite quotes from Paradise Lost, I hold the Socratic Paradox of “I know that I know nothing” as a personal motto, and I wish more people who I share this label with would do the same.

#luciferianism #theistic luciferianism #satanism #theistic satanism #witchblr #left hand path #lhp #30 Day Luciferian Challenge #30dayluciferianchallenge #illumine

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snicketstrange · 4 years

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The contents of the sugar bowl were radioactive

This is a new hypothesis about the SB. I believe that I finally found something that closes all the gaps. The hypothesis is that within the SB that belonged to Esme you will find radioactive stones (or powder from radioactive stones). Let's just use as an example something that exists in our universe: Uranium. Now let's look at the reasons. The deadly fungus MM can be used as a weapon of mass destruction. But not any kind of weapon of mass destruction. It is a biological weapon. Kit hinted that if Olaf got his hands on SB, we would be in a scenario almost as bad as if Olaf got his hands on SB. So, I deduce that just something that can be used as a weapon of mass destruction could be almost as bad as MM. (Note .: Like MM, uranium can also be used for good, to produce electricity.) Kit said: "The sugar bowl is on its way to the hotel even as we speak, and I'd hate to think what would happen if our enemies got ahold of it. I can't imagine anything worse, except perhaps if our enemies somehow got ahold of the Medusoid Mycelium. " (TPP chapter 2) Radioactive stones like uranium can be used both to produce atomic bombs and to produce dirty bombs, that is, use the power of radiation to cause death. In addition, Esmé stated that the content of the SB was found on a kind of mission, where many volunteers died. Notice what she said: "Then you know all about the sugar bowl," Esmé said, "and what's inside. You know how important that thing was, and how many lives were lost in the quest to find it. You know how difficult it was to find a container that could hold it safely, securely, and attractively. You know what it means to the Baudelaires and what it means to the Snickets. " (TPP chapter 9) Uranium is a radioactive element, so it makes sense that volunteers have died from not using adequate protection. (note: Some believe that the volunteers died in the search for the container set with the contents. But if you read this section carefully you will clearly see that the deaths happened when a team was looking for "that thing", and "that thing" is the that we had inside the SB. We know that this is because shortly afterwards Esmé said it was difficult to find a container that could contain that. The container found was the sugar bowl itself.) In addition, speaking of electrical energy, it is possible that uranium was used to create the nuclear reactor that served as propulsion for submarine Q. And so it was Kit who built the submarine. After all, according to Esmé, the Snickets had a special relationship with the content of the SB. Submarine Q is different from submarine C in a fundamental and very prominent issue: there are only two crew members and a captain. On the other hand, submarine C needs human propulsion, and so it needed slaves to be captured in order for the submarine to work. Captain W seems to know a lot about the SB's content, which may indicate that his submarine's propulsion was related to the SB's content. In addition, when refined using lime, uranium is white and could easily be mistaken for sugar. Esmé stated that it was necessary to find a beautiful and safe container for the contents of the SB. Why "safe"? Because it would be necessary to contain radiation. That's why SB ended up in GG. Dewey and Kit threw objects from the headquarters window so that those objects would land in a safe place in the ocean. But SB ended up in a very different and unknown (and not at all safe) place. This probably happened because SB was made of lead, a material that has a very high specific gravity. (Lead is capable of containing radiation.) Thus, the SB behaved differently from all other objects thrown out the window, because it was made of lead. And the SB was made of lead to contain the uranium radiation inside it. There is one more interesting detail. Uranium generates energy through nuclear fission. What is Nuclear fission if not a small schism with the power to wreak havoc? The Schism that happens inside the nucleus represents very well the VFD Schism that ended up generating great Unfortunate Events. Daniel Handler probably came up with this idea when looking up synonyms for the word "schism" in a dictionary. But the evidence doesn't stop there. During the VFD construction committee meeting, Olaf removed an item from a box, and everyone was alarmed about it. At first I thought that item could be MM, but it doesn't make sense for MM to be kept in a box. It makes more sense that a radioactive stone research had been stored inside a lead box. So soon someone asked Olaf to put the stone back in the box, to avoid the effects of radiation. At that time, Esme had not yet found a beautiful container for uranium, but she soon resolved that. She used the SB itself, which was probably made of lead.

Note the excerpt: Chapter 3 of LSTUA: E: We're not going anywhere, you fools. O: Take a look at this! (gasps from quite a few people) L: Egad! M: Put that back in its box immediately! O: Not until I issue the following demands: Radiation is deadly, but it does not kill immediately, especially if it comes from stones found in nature. Olaf could hold such a stone for a few minutes, threatening everyone present, and yet health problems did not arise immediately. Still, M believes that in a box, that thing would not do any more damage. This fits perfectly with a radioactive stone, and when we associate this event with the fact that Esmé said it was difficult to find a beautiful and safe container to contain what was inside the SB, it all makes sense.

It is true that at the meeting someone mentions something about the secret of the SB, but this only indicates that many volunteers had a SB that served some other purpose. Esmé simply used the SB that belonged to her to store the stone that the team of volunteers had acquired on the mission where many of them died.

#ASoUE #asoue theory #Sugar Bowl #sugar Bowls Theory #sugar bowl theory #esme squalor #olaf

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marzeline · 4 years

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So i heard y’all like religious symbolism in She Ra, so i decided to offer my own knowledge from 17 years spent in a very strict Orthodox household.

I’m gonna talk particularly about one specific moment in “Save the Cat” because I haven’t seen anyone pointing it out before.

When I was first watching this episode, devastated and overwhelmed by emotions, I still felt a bit of a... déjà vu? I have definitely seen these images before, but where? And then it hit me.

Everywhere. I have seen these scenes all my life. Glorified them even. Let me give you a little bit of context...

My family (and my country predominantly) is part of the Christian Eastern-Orthodox Church. The western world is not that familiar with this specific part of the church, but it’s basically presented as Christianity as it was preached in the beginning. In 1054, the East-West Schism happened, when the institution of the Church and Religion as a whole split into the Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox Churches. It happened from various reasons like changes in the doctrine and political reasons but I will not go into details here.

Since their departure, the Catholic and Orthodox Church developed even more differences - one of them being the decoration of the church.

While Catholics use mainly statues and mosaic, Orthodox practice allows the use of only icons (there is no exact term in English from what I have found, but think Icoană in Romanian or Икона in Russian), which are basically pictures.

And you have probably seen pictures or icoane as well - here is an widely used image in the western world of Jesus Christ

The images that you’re used to seeing have realistic details, but this isn’t what I’m used to seeing. Because in the Eastern Church, we use the byzantine style of art (Greek), the one used in the old times. The artist’s goal isn’t to portray the characters and scenes realistically, but to have a symbolic sketch that dehumanizes them (ig you won’t look at an icon and fall in love with the face, you won’t be distracted by earthly things).

With this out of the way, let me show you what I meant when I said I have seen those scenes before. There are 3 of them, the last one being the most important, and while you can find so many other icons, these are the few that I have selected:

Now here me out: Jesus is Great. My views on religion have changed a lot, but I still think Jesus was the greatest man to ever live. His lessons were revolutionary at the time, and his teachings are still passed on.

In Orthodox traditions, we believe God has three personas that are different and independent, but one in God: The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. The Church is raising you as a family, with the priest addressing the community as “brothers and sisters (in Christ)” and we pray to our divine Father.

Now let me tell you why I have selected these specific icons: The Baptize of Christ, Jesus saving Adam from Eternal Damnation, The Apostle and Jesus AND the last one that I’m gonna talk about a little bit later.

In scene one, we see Catra coming with the clones. Her hair is wet and later we find out that she has been “purified”. When undergoing this same process, Horde Prime told Hordak that his fault was his pride: how dare he think he is worthy to stand besides Horde Prime, Hordak was a mere clone created “in his image”

“So God created man in His own image” Genesis 1:27

Hordak forgotten who he is. He shall be reminded.

The Orthodox Church has 7 great rituals, but the most important ones are considered the Baptize, the Eucharist and The Ceremony that you undergo at Death.

Let’s talk about the Baptize because they look wildly similar to me. We believe that everyone is born carrying the original sin - that’s why it doesn’t matter how good of the person you were during your life, you go to Hell. But when Jesus came to Earth, He taught us how to be baptized in the name of the Lord. The process of The Baptize reclaims you as one of Lord’s sheeps and saves your soul (doesn’t guarantee you’re going to Heaven either; just opens the possibility). It purifies you of the original sin and makes you reborn, ready to join the big family that is the Church. Sounds familiar?

The Symbol of the Baptize is easy to spot, definetly out there for a reason, a scary, twisting interpretation of a ritual that is viewed as sacred by the community.

Catra kneels 2 times in front of Horde Prime. The second time she does it in Adoration at HP’s altar, when she is brought for Adora to see (see the first image), but the first time she does it when she is brought defiant after helping Glimmer escape. That’s the moment of her Judgement.

In the second image, Prime is holding her hand and Catra lovingly accepts it while being raised from the ground. It’s sickening to see because you know the character, you know her desires and history and holding HP’s hand while being embraced by him doesn’t really hit her persona.

Now let’s look at this in detail again

Here is the moment when Jesus, dead, is lowering to Hell (like I said, before Jesus, no one could go to Heaven) to save the worthy ones (like Abraham and David and Adam - the first man, the one that lived almost 1000 years). Yes, Adam sinned in the Eden, but in the Bible we’re being told that he had lived a righteous life overall. Adam was a good man and he deserved to go to Heaven after he died. But he didn’t, so Jesus could come and free him. He raises him from Hell and saves him. Heaven is now opened for Adam. HP is doing the same for Catra here.

And last, but certainly not least, we have the third image. I have rewatched this episode so many times since its release and I always, always stop at that scene with my blood frozen in my veins. The resemblance it’s terrifying. That frame alone, shows you every Christian’s biggest dream. Jesus and the Apostle. You being saved. God accepting you. Loving you even. It doesn’t matter how much you love God, He always loves you more. How could you not stare in adoration? All your adoration will never be enough for He is just That Great.

Catra does it, the clones do it, and we do it as well - we’re content being in His Graces. I don’t think I will ever be able to explain how much that scene scares me. Because we, as the audience, know that is wrong. That is not Catra. She’s so many people’s favorite character for a reason! She’s obnoxious and loud and mischievous and disrespectful and cunning and fast and mean but caring and she loves Adora! We know that and we expect to see that every time she’s on the screen. Seeing the complete opposite of her... is wrong.

“Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

The last icon: the one where Jesus greets the kids into his arms and promises them heaven and peace. That is how the clones and the ones being chipped are looking at HP. This is what they think they will find under his protection. Spinerella always mentions how happy they are under his rule and Catra?

“My place is with Horde Prime, I don’t want to leave”

“Prime has given me peace. Something you could never do.”

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have access by faith into his grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.” Romans 5:1-2

I’m gonna tell you from my own experience: I came out as bisexual to my mother (who is definitely the most religious person you’re ever gonna meet) at 13. She wasn’t mad. She tried to deny it but I stopped her cold. You know what she said? I will pray for you. Everyone has their own stuggles and the devil tempts us in many ways. You’ll have to fight these urges all your life and never act on them, but you’ll be rewarded. You will find peace in God.

For my mother, God is the giver of peace and my attraction to the same gender is what actually troubles me. My struggle is because of my sins.

I’m sure that conversation remained forgotten in her memory, but I will never be able to forget it. For the Church (Horde Prime here representing organized religion) homosexuals are sad, confused and unhappy - because they don’t know the peace of the Lord. No one can be happy, if not in the light of Horde Prime God.

I don’t know if there is ever gonna be a time in my life when that scene won’t terrify me. It’s reminding me of everything that I was for others, for everything that I thought I wanted for myself. At 14 I would wake up praying to be killed just so I can die in God’s light before sinning. Catra is also a victim of abuse, and you could never never never understand what is that about unless you have experienced it first hand. In the episode she is being mind-controlled, not far from others have experienced due to indoctrination. But to be so codependent, to Adora first (and probably always - that’s just how childhood trauma works) Shadow Weaver and then to HP?

This breaks my heart in so many places, but it also gives me hope. You can still get the chip out. You can still open your eyes. And you can still love! There is no fear in love.

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reddragdiva · 4 years

Text

What Makes A Fuckhead?

by David R. Kendrick, late 1990s

Ever since the dawn of time, Humankind has been divided into two camps: Those who were welcome in the camps, and those who weren't. Stanley Kubrick's film classic 2001: A Space Odyssey best depicts this early schism in human ancestors: At the side of the communal water stream, the social apes whacked the antisocial apes over the heads with bones.

Over time, religious tradition, social science, and human evolution have recognized the basic division of mankind into social and antisocial camps. The antisocial have been shunned, excommunicated, pressed into exile, and even hunted as the social group has forced the antisocial from its camps, cities, and homes.

With the advent of the Internet as a force in popular culture, this schism has not only survived, but become stronger and more readily acknowledged. In the new Information Age, the antisocial face new pressures, such as flaming, Usenet death penalties, and being netcopped, and they even have a new name.

They are called Fuckheads.

But what makes a person a Fuckhead? You cannot tell a fuckhead just by looking at the e-mail address, or the Web site, or even by the newsgroups the individual frequents. A fuckhead is a person who, through the pattern of repeated behaviour when dealing with other Netizens in IRC and Usenet, demonstrates certain characteristics and a repeated inability or unwillingness to change or modify his/her behavior to conform to the social code of conduct called "netiquette."

These are the characteristics that make the Fuckhead:

A Fuckhead Must Have An Exaggerated Sense of His/Her Own Importance

The Internet fuckhead will come to the table insuperably convinced of his/her own correctness and of his/her immediacy in any debate or discussion. For example, the non-fuckhead will join a discussion cautiously, reading over the prior correspondance and offering an opinion thoughtfully. The fuckhead will come plowing in without regard to the established parameters of the debate and without regard to the existing participants.

The fuckhead, when challenged, will then state some fantastic-sounding credentials to justify and bolster the strong opinion. When challenged further, the fuckhead will usually display anger and refuse to further substantiate the presented credentials, some sort of "I already said so, and that should be good enough for you!"

At this point the Fuckhead has demonstrated an exaggerated sense of his/her own importance: He has presented an overriding opinion which, in the fuckhead's mind, should be definitive and cease all debate, and the fuckhead will be unable to understand why the other Netizens will not accept his/her opinion on sight.

A Fuckhead Must Refuse to Abide By Common Social Rules

One of the most common traits of the on-line Fuckhead is the absolute refusal to follow common social rules. For example, the fuckhead will use racist or sexist terms, will use inappropriate references to bodily functions, or will otherwise not respect the rules of society.

Fuckheads will frequently use a persecution defense when they are asked to cease their antisocial behavior. They may claim that they are being singled out because of their unpopular viewpoints, or that they are victimized by the nebulous "political correctness" movement. These claims attempt to avoid the obvious cause of the challenge, which is the antisocial behavior itself, by demonizing the reaction to the behavior.

The Fuckhead's refusal to abide by common social rules is therefore manifested. In the early chapters of history, such refusal to abide by the rules of the group would lead one to be unwelcome by the fire, or to be tarred and feathered. Now, though, it is just one more characteristic in the profile of the Fuckhead.

A Fuckhead Must Never Back Down When Caught In A Lie

It is so easy to obtain all sorts of facts on the modern Information Superhighway that it is hard to imagine anyone attempting to lie, simply because it is so easy to get caught in a lie and therefore have your credence demolished. That does not stop the on-line Fuckhead.

The on-line Fuckhead will lie about where he/she is, what he/she does, who he/she is, and what he/she knows. For example, a Fuckhead will claim to be an attorney, even though there are several on-line directories of attorneys which do not include the Fuckhead. A Fuckhead will claim to be in a certain geographic location but not be able to provide details such as the street on which he/she is located, yet the Internet provides many detailed maps and guidebooks and even services which tell you how to drive from your location to any address.

Yet this abundance of proof and truth does not deter the Fuckhead trait of mendacity. "I never said that," claims the Usenet fuckhead, yet the Usenet archive can give you chapter, verse, and message ID. And, as befits the Fuckhead, when you challenge the Fuckhead and prove that the Fuckhead has lied, the Fuckhead will usually respond with a completely irrelevant ad-hominem attack. Such is the way of the Fuckhead.

A Fuckhead Must Keep Coming Back Without Mending His/Her Ways

"Don't you ever learn?" This question is one of the most frequently asked of wayward children or oft-injured adults. But when asked of the Fuckhead, the answer is always, "No." The Fuckhead does not learn.

"Why must you come where you're not wanted?" This question has been asked of the socially deviant and challenged since the dawn of time. Yet the Fuckhead will keep coming back, over and over again.

The Fuckhead will defend his or her inflexibility by saying, "I have every right to my opinion," and "I have every right to participate in this discussion." And, in the egalitarian world of IRC and Usenet, the Fuckhead is correct. But the Fuckhead will find that other participants, who do not appreciate the Fuckhead's presence or contributions, will make use of tools such as "Ignore" commands or killfiles. These tools would not exist if it weren't for the Fuckheads.

You can count on the Fuckhead to shriek "Censorship!" when you tune out their input. You can count on the Fuckhead saying rude things about you when he/she is sure you're no longer listening. But it will never occur to the Fuckhead to approach topics and people differently, and never, ever occur to the Fuckhead to avoid venues where the atmosphere is unfriendly. This inability to exit gracefully is a distinguishing mark of a Fuckhead.

A Fuckhead Will Change His/Her Beliefs To Suit The Situation

Fuckheads are dedicated to one cause, furtherance of self; and they are committed to only one opinion, superiority of self. All other causes and opinions are secondary to the Fuckhead. The non-Fuckhead may change his/her opinions from time to time, or support or abandon causes throughout life, these changes usually come about when new information is learned, or when circumstances change. The Fuckhead, however, changes opinions and causes as readily as a non-Fuckhead might change shirts.

A good example of this change of opinion was shown by a notorious net Fuckhead in relation to a specific issue. Originally, the Fuckhead held that unsolicited commercial e-mail was evil and a nuisance. The Fuckhead put himself on the record as holding that opinion on more than one occasion. However, when the Fuckhead and his Web site were dismissed from one ISP after another for rules violations, the only ISP left over which would host the Fuckhead's Web page was a widely-reviled purveyor of unsolicited commercial e-mail. The Fuckhead then, as circumstances dictated, reversed his opinion on UCE and became a booster of that method of advertisement.

Fuckheads change friends as needs dictate, aligning themselves with and against other Fuckheads seemingly without regard to history or common sense. In fact, it is not uncommon for Fuckheads to be at war in one Usenet newsgroup and aligned in another. Rational people may agree to disagree, but the Fuckhead's limited focus and lack of loyalty allow the Fuckhead to fight with friends and agree with foes so readily that there is almost no distinction between the two. But this changeability makes the individual an unworthy foe and an untrustworthy ally -- and hence, a Fuckhead.

What Makes a Fuckhead?

The Fuckhead may display all of these characteristics, or some of them, or only one. Some may love a Fuckhead like a brother, some may think their brother is a Fuckhead. What is incontrovertible is that for all of humanity, there are people that you would rather not have to deal with, and those people, throughout history, are the Fuckheads.

#usenet

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flightfoot · 5 years

Text

Memories of Godly Selfishness Ch. 1

So I’ve been working on this for the last few days. The ideas been banging along in my head for the past few months. I remembered it again a few days ago and thought “hey, maybe I should submit this as a prompt!” and then realized “Oh wait, I’m a fanfic writer, I can just write the darn thing myself.” It was faster and easier to write than I expected! Still took a while though.

This will be a two-shot, though I’m not sure when I’ll write the second chapter.

The context here is that Apollo manages to accidentally drag Meg into his flashbacks, the same way Hazel took Leo and Frank along on some of her flashbacks. So they’re viewing these memories from a third-person perspective.

Meg and I stood in the middle of an amphitheater. Scraggly bushes populated the area beyond the stone of the amphitheater. It all seemed very familiar...

Before I was able to figure out why (curse my tiny mortal memory) I heard the twang of a ukulele’s string being plucked. Instinctively I turned around. As a god of music, I naturally grew curious whenever I heard music, plus the months I’d spent as a mortal had honed my sound identifying and threat assessment abilities... which was a nice way of saying that I listened fearfully for any sound I didn’t know the origin of and looked for hiding spots if I thought it was a monster... or worse.

My mind came to a screeching halt. I was looking at a highly attractive young man, roughly seventeen years old, with curly blond hair and a nice tan, mournfully plucking away at a ukulele. I was looking at myself. Me, before I’d lost my divinity, before I’d met Meg, before my children were kidnapped, before I dragged Meg out of the Cave of Trophonious, before Crest and Jason died, before any of the events that had radically altered how I behaved and my perception of the world.

That still didn’t tell me WHEN I was, though. My memory was faulty at the best of times, and trying to figure out what was going on just based on me sadly playing a ukulele by myself wasn’t much of a clue.

Wait... by myself?

I broke my gaze from my glorious divine self (oh, how I missed my true appearance), and cast my gaze from side to side. My eyes locked onto the form of a young teenage girl with long dark hair, whittling away on a piece of wood, forming it into a bow.

Artemis.

Before I could form another thought, I was scrambling across the floor to get to her.

“Sister!” I yelled as I ran at her, my arms open, desperately wanting, NEEDING to see her face and to feel her embrace again.

I passed right through her as if I wasn’t even there.

Reality reasserted itself. This was a memory. I couldn’t interact with anyone here. It only existed in my mind.

Meg caught up with me and gently took my hand. I turned to her. That’s right. Meg was real. She was here.

“You’ll see her again,” Meg reassured me. I wanted to believe her, but after everything I’d been through, I wasn’t so sure. I settled for studying her face, trying to memorize every detail, the color of her eyes, the expression on her face as she vented her frustration through her crafting. I wanted to hang onto my memories of my sister this time. I had to at least try.

As I was staring at my sister, I heard a yell from the edges of the amphitheater, “Don’t shoot!”

Startled, I looked up. Descending the stairs to the center stage were Leo, Frank, and Hazel.

Ah. That narrowed things down a bit. I remembered this, but vaguely. Leo had asked me for advice on his plan to defeat Gaea and for help with the Physician’s Cure. In exchange he had traded me the Valdezinator, that wonderful musical instrument of his. Sadly I couldn’t remember much beyond those facts. The memory itself was blurry and hard to get ahold of. I decided to give up on forcing myself to remember and just watch it instead.

As the demigods reached the front row where Artemis sat, she muttered, “There you are. We were beginning to wonder.”

“So you were expecting us, then,” Leo replied. “I can tell, because you’re so excited.”

“We were expecting to be found, bothered, and tormented,” my godly self interjected melodramatically, still plucking on his ukulele’s strings, “We didn’t know by whom. Can you not leave us in our misery?”

Beside me, Meg snorted and rolled her eyes. I had a feeling she was unimpressed with my past self. I didn’t blame her. This all seemed very silly and kinda embarrassing now. The demigods had had a FAR worse time than I had. It was ridiculous for me to be throwing a pity party for myself while they were risking their lives on a quest to save both camps and the gods, all with very little help from the gods they were protecting.

At least I’d been able to help here. I remembered that much. I had helped Leo survive. I had done SOMETHING right during all of this at least.

“You know they can’t, brother,” Artemis chided. “They require our help with their quest, even if the odds are hopeless.”

Meg jolted, eyes widening in realization. “That’s YOU?!” she exclaimed in disbelief, gesturing to my godly self.

Ah. Meg had never seen me as a god. She wouldn’t know the kinds of forms my divine self preferred. I nodded, putting my fingers to my lips in an attempt to quiet her. I was pretty sure there hadn’t been long pauses in this conversation for commentary by my future self and a young girl to talk during, and I doubted that I could rewind this memory. I didn’t want to miss any of this. We’d have to talk when there WAS a break in the conversation... assuming we had one before the memory ended.

“You two are full of good cheer,” Leo said. “Why are you hiding out here anyway? Shouldn’t you be... I dunno, fighting giants or something?”

I rolled my eyes. I WISHED. If Artemis and I had had the ability, we would’ve rained vengeance down on Orion for harming her Hunters. A memory resurfaced of myself holding Artemis as she cried, feeling the life drain from her friends’ bodies, unable to do anything to help them. I pushed it away before it could overwhelm me. I had my hands full with THIS memory, I didn’t want to get dragged into a different memory and miss this one.

Artemis glared at Leo. I began to feel a little nervous. I didn’t REMEMBER Artemis turning him into a woodland creature, but my memory was pretty faulty at the moment...

“Delos is our birthplace,” my sister said. “Here, we are unaffected by the Greek-Roman schism. Believe me, Leo Valdez, if I could, I would be with my Hunters, facing our old enemy Orion. Unfortunately, if I stepped off this island, I would become incapacitated with pain. All I can do is watch helplessly as Orion slaughters my followers. Many gave their lives to protect your friends and that accursed Athena statue.”

Meg turned to me, her brow furrowing, mouthing ‘Greek-Roman schism?’. I mouthed back, ‘Later’.

Hazel emitted a choking sound. “You mean Nico? Is he alright?”

I felt terrible seeing her like that. Knowing your sibling is in danger, and unable to do anything to help them... I know how that felt.

“All right?” my former self sobbed out. “None of us are alright, girl! Gaea is rising!”

I almost laughed. I sounded so ridiculous and pathetic. There I was, all my divine power intact, an Olympian! ...and yet I was losing my head more than the oh-so-squishy, oh-so-killable demigods, who had actually been forced to face Gaea’s minions. I’d just sat on Delos and sulked.

Artemis evidently agreed with my current self. She glared at my past self. “Hazel Lavesque, your brother is still alive. He is a brave fighter, like you. I wish I could say the same of my brother.”

“You wrong me!” my godly self wailed. “I was misled by Gaea and that horrible Roman child!”

I wasn’t sure how the demigods resisted busting out laughing at that exclamation. I sounded like a toddler that thought that the entire world had betrayed him because his mother wouldn’t push him on the swing.

Somehow they kept their self-control. Frank cleared his throat. “Uh, Lord Apollo, you mean Octavian?”

“Do not speak his name!” my former self exclaimed as he strummed another note on his ukulele. “Oh, Frank Zhang, if only you were my child.” I silently agreed. I’d gotten to know Frank better over the course of my quest. I would’ve been honored to have him as my son. “I heard your prayers, you know, all those weeks you wanted to be claimed.But alas! Mars gets all the good ones. I get... that creature as my descendant. He filled my head with compliments. He told me of the great temples he would build in my honor.”

My sister snorted. “You are easily flattered, brother.”

“Because I have so many amazing qualities to praise!” I felt my face twist in disgust. Yes, AMAZING qualities. Like my cowardice, my ignorance, my willingness to watch children die and treat it as ENTERTAINMENT... and my inability to save those children, even when I was trying my hardest. Death followed in my wake.

Meg looked over at me, her face scrunched up in a concerned expression. I smoothed out my expression as best I could. I didn’t want to worry her.

My past self continued talking while this was going on, “Octavian said he wanted to make the Romans strong. I said fine! I gave him my blessing.”

I looked down for a moment. Octavian and Commodus. I had given both my blessing. Both had gone crazy and died, one by my own hand. I had a terrible track record with my blessings.

“As I recall,” said Artemis, “he also promised to make you the most important god of the legion, above even Zeus.”

My eyes nearly rolled back in my head. Oh yeah, THAT was one of the things he promised me. How was I so much of an idiot that I didn’t realize that Zeus would take offense at that? He couldn’t stand ANY possible threat to his power, he’d never have allowed for my power to grow and his own to diminish that much, not while he had a way to stop it.

“Well, who was I to argue with an offer like that? Does Zeus have a perfect tan? Can he play the ukulele? I think not!”

I buried my face in my hands. Meg busted out laughing. I’d undergone a LOT of humiliation throughout my time as a mortal. It seemed ironic that the most embarrassing thing I’d been through so far was watching what I said and did when I was a god.

My former self continued, “But I never thought Octavian would start a war! Gaea must have been clouding my thoughts, whispering in my ear.”

Truthfully, I couldn’t remember now WHAT I thought Octavian would do. It never crossed my mind that my children would be in danger, but that may have simply been because I was in Roman form at the time, so my Greek children weren’t at the forefront of my thoughts.

“So fix it,” Leo said. “Tell Octavian to stand down. Or, you know, shoot him with one of your arrows. That would be fine too.”

I snorted. As if my life was ever that easy.

My past self quickly disabused Leo of that notion. “I cannot!” he cried. “Look!” He turned his ukulele into a bow. I watched enviously. Oh how I missed being able to do that, it meant I didn’t have to encumber myself. Alas, I was mortal now, and that was simply one of the many inconveniences I had to put up with.

He summoned a golden arrow (another ability I wish I still had, running out of ammunition was always a pain. And terrifying. Mostly terrifying) nocked it, and let it fly. It evaporated at Delos’s boundary.

“To shoot my bow, I would have to step off Delos. Then I would be incapacitated, or Zeus would strike me down. Father never liked me. He hasn’t trusted me for millennia!”

Trust.

I bitterly wished that I could trust Zeus not to torture me when I displeased him, . At the very least, I wish I could trust him to set his priorities straight. He might have decided that this was a good and just punishment for me, turning me mortal and making me go on a quest in order to regain his favor. Fine. But preventing other gods from helping was causing more mortals to die in the Triumvirate’s attacks than was necessary. But he didn’t care. He had faith that whatever happened, it wouldn’t get so far that it threatened himself directly, nor his power. Loss of life was of little concern to him.

“Well,” my sister responded, “to be fair, there was that time you conspired with Hera to overthrow him.”

“That was a misunderstanding!”

It hadn’t been a misunderstanding. I was bitter over being shocked for nth time that year, and when I saw a chance to stop from being shocked again, I took it. I should’ve known better than to side with Hera though. Honestly, she had tortured my mother, what was I THINKING siding with her?

“And you killed some of Zeus’s Cyclopes.”

“I had a good reason for that!”

I looked down at my shoes, not wanting to meet Artemis’s eyes, even though she couldn’t see this version of me. I hadn’t had a good reason. I’d just told myself I did. I needed someone to blame, someone to take my anger out on who wouldn’t destroy me if I tried, and they were convenient. I was willing to admit this to myself now, though I’d always known it. Meeting Tyson had made me regret taking my anger out on those Cyclopes. Those gentle, but still somewhat bitter eyes as he asked me if I would kill HIM if Zeus or another god used one of the weapons he made to do something cruel, something Tyson had no knowledge of and couldn’t stop even if he did... it filled me with shame.

I was still talking. At this point I wished he’d just shut up. He reminded me of everything I hate about how I used to act.

“At any rate, now Zeus blames me for everything - Octavian’s schemes, the fall of Delphi-”

“Wait,” Hazel inquired, forming the gesture for ‘time-out’. “The fall of Delphi?”

I groaned. Did we REALLY have to go over this? It had been my reality for the past few months, I didn’t need a recap.

Hazel needed to be informed, however. My former self sated her curiosity. “When the schism began between Greek and Roman, while I struggled with confusion, Gaea took advantage! She raised my old enemy Python, the great serpent, to repossess the Delphic Oracle. That horrible creature is now coiled in the ancient caverns, blocking the magic of prophecy. I am stuck here, so I can’t even fight him.”

I shuddered. I still wasn’t sure how I could defeat Python like this. The thought of facing him again sent my knees knocking, and I had to fight to stay upright. Meg took my hand, wordlessly showing her support. I calmed down. Maybe I was mortal this time, that was true. But this time, I wasn’t alone. We would defeat Python together.

“Bummer,” Leo said. He didn’t look very bummed. I couldn’t really blame him. It was awful that the power of prophecy had gone out, but I knew first-hand how taxing it could be to be the subject of a prophecy.

“Bummer indeed!” My godly version cried. “Zeus was already angry with me for appointing that new girl, Rachel Dare, as my Oracle. Zeus seems to think I hastened the war with Gaea by doing so, since Rachel issued the Prophecy of Seven as soon as I blessed her. But prophecy doesn’t work that way! Father just needed someone to blame. So of course he picked the handsomest, most talented, hopelessly awesome god.”

Anger and resentment nipped at my core. Zeus KNEW Rachel issuing that prophecy hadn’t caused it to arrive sooner. But he needed an excuse, ANY excuse, to blame someone, ANYONE else. Just so long as he wasn’t to blame.

While I was simmering about Zeus’s injustice, Meg burst out laughing again, which quickly extinguished my anger. Artemis faked some gagging noises at the same time. I started chuckling as well. My vanity HAD been pretty hilarious at times. Meg and I were laughing so hard, I nearly missed the next part of the conversation.

“Oh, stop it, sister! You’re in trouble too!”

“Only because I stayed in touch with my Hunters against Zeus’s wishes,” my sister said. “But I can always charm Father into forgiving me. He’s never been able to stay mad at me. it’s you I’m worried about.”

“I’m worried about me too!” my past self agreed. “We have to do something. We can’t kill Octavian. Hmm. Perhaps we should kill these demigods.”

The laughter died in my throat. I must have heard wrong. That couldn’t be right. I may have been an idiot in the past, I may have been negligent, and perhaps even callous, but there was no way I had seriously suggested murdering the heroes of the prophecy - the young demigods who would become my friends - simply because I felt the need to do something. My first instinct while I was panicking couldn’t have been to murder some innocent demigods who were trying to help rectify the situation, just because I couldn’t murder some other person. I HAD to have that wrong. I HAD to.

I felt Meg turn rigid next to me, immediately falling silent. It was the same way she behaved when reminded of The Beast.

Leo dashed my desperate hope, my denial. “Whoa there, Music Man. We’re on your side, remember? Why would you kill us?” A dash of fear colored Leo’s face as he said all this. I felt my stomach twist. He had really thought there was a chance, however small, that I would actually kill him. And the worst part was, I was pretty sure he was right.

“It might make me feel better!” my stupid, STUPID past self proclaimed. “I have to do something!”

Make me feel better... really? Killing children for no reason might make me feel better? My hand clenched, my knuckles turning white. I wished I had something to smash, but everything here was an illusion, simply a memory.

Leo kept things moving along. “Or you could help us. See, we’ve got this plan...” I calmed down slightly, listening to Leo’s plan. It had worked, and I had helped. I had been stupid in the past, but I HAD still helped. That counted for SOMETHING, right?

I may not have been able to vent, but my past self had no such problem. He stood up. “The physician’s cure?” He smashed his ukulele on the ground. “That’s your plan?”

Meg jumped slightly at my former self’s show of violence. Her expression closed off, as if she was trying to shut out the outside world. I wanted to comfort her, to explain, but we needed to get to a lull in the conversation first. I hoped one arrived soon.

Leo held his hands up, attempting to calm down my former self. “Hey, um, usually I’m all for smashing ukuleles, but-”

“I cannot help you!” My godly self cried. “Yes you can,” I muttered quietly to myself. “You’re just afraid too.”

I at least understood why I had been afraid. It’s not JUST that I was afraid of Zeus hurting me. I still remembered what happened the last time the cure was used, how Zeus had struck down my favorite son. I could take Zeus’s wrath. My loved ones couldn’t.

My former self continued his wailing, “If I told you the secret of the physician’s cure, Zeus would never forgive me!”

I blinked. Actually, neither Zeus nor anyone else had seemed to care too much. I guess Leo got one Get-Out-Of-Death-Free card. Too bad he was the only one, and only once. I was certain that if he died again, he would stay dead.

Leo attempted to persuade him. “You’re already in trouble. How could it get worse?”

I gaped a little at that. Had Leo seriously tried that line of reasoning? ‘How could it get worse?’ What had he been thinking?

My past self must’ve agreed with me. He shot Leo a withering glare. “If you knew what my father was capable of, mortal, you would not ask. It would be simpler if I just smote you all. That might please Zeus-”

I just groaned and buried my face in my hands again. As soon as I got back to reality I was gonna bang my head on the nearest wall. We were back to this again? Seriously? Why would murdering these demigods please Zeus? He didn’t generally take kindly to people murdering his-

My blood turned to ice. I had contemplated killing Jason. Even for a moment, I had thought about it, seriously considered going through with it. I don’t think it would have actually come to that, but the fact that it had even been a possibility in my mind...?

Thankfully my sister, my dear, sweet, sensible sister was there. “Brother...” she said warningly, glaring. The two locked eyes, commencing a mental argument. Artemis won, as usual. My past self sighed and kicked the broken remnants of his ukulele across the stage, a display of his childishness.

My sister stood up. “Hazel Lavesque, Frank Zhang, come with me. There are things you should know about the Twelfth Legion. As for you, Leo Valdez, Apollo will hear you out. See if you can strike a deal. My brother always like a good bargain.”

Frank and Hazel glanced back at Leo as they left, looking worried. A weight dropped into my stomach. They thought he was in danger too. In danger from ME.

I stared longingly at my sister as she left. I’d much rather be with her than with my past self. Sadly, I could not venture beyond the constraints of my memory.

A moment later my godly self turned to Leo, his arms folded, eyes glowing. “Well, Leo Valdez? Let us bargain, then. What can you offer that would convince me to to help you rather than kill you?”

Stop saying that, I silently begged. I GET it, I was a childish, murderous asshole. You don’t need to continue auditioning for the role, you already won an award for the part.

Fingers twitching, Leo talked with my former self. “A bargain. Yes. Absolutely.”

I watched as Leo started assembling that beautiful musical instrument of his, his hands working feverishly as he talked. He was barely even LOOKING at what he was doing. All the while, he continued reasoning with my past self. “So the thing is, Zeus is already pretty P.O.’ed at you, right? If you help us defeat Gaea, you could make it up to him.”

Honestly I doubted that even that would have been enough to quell Zeus’s wrath, but it was a far better plan than ‘murder people’. Speaking of which...

My godly self wrinkled his nose. I guess he really preferred the murder plan over the help-save-the-world plan. “I suppose that’s possible. But it would be easier to smite you.”

Leo wasn’t giving up THAT easily. “What kind of ballad would that make? You’re the god of music, right? Would you listen to a song called ‘Apollo Smites a Runty Little Demigod’? I wouldn’t. But ‘Apollo Defeats the Earth Mother and Saves the Freaking Universe’... that sounds like a Billboard chart-topper!”

At that moment, I was thinking of composing a song titled ‘Apollo is a Stupid Vain Idiot’. I’d have plenty of material to draw from for the lyrics.

At least that argument seemed persuasive. When in doubt, flatter. “What do you want exactly? And what do I get out of it?”

A chance to help a demigod survive, I added silently in my head.

Leo launched into his description of his plan for defeating Gaea. Listening to him, I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t realized his true intentions back then. It was obvious he was planning on implementing it himself. I suppose I just didn’t care much about what he was going to do. It didn’t concern ME, after all. I kept my eyes focused on Leo’s hands, at the brilliant device he was constructing. He seemed to be on auto-pilot.

Finally even my former self noticed that Leo was doing more than just keeping his hands busy. Looking at the strings and levers, I could almost hear the *click* as he realized that what Leo had assembled looked an awful lot like a musical instrument... “What is that you have made?”

Leo stared down at his contraption, as if he’d never seen it before. He looked puzzled, almost as if...

And then I got it.

I gaped at Leo in disbelief. Had he seriously...?

Leo seemed to stall a little. “Oh, this...? Um, well, this is quite simply the most amazing instrument ever!”

He had. He seriously had. He’d invented a musical instrument from scratch in the five minutes he was talking to me, in order to use as a bargaining chip to get me to help him with the physician’s cure and not kill him. And he hadn’t even MEANT to do it. I would have to congratulate Leo on pulling off that feat when we got back to reality... and lecture him about how reckless he’d been, going into this without a plan.

Also, I should probably check Leo’s bloodline. I wondered whether he was one of Hermes’ Legacies...

“How does it work?” my past self inquired.

Leo nervously looked down at his invention, inspecting it. Being familiar with Leo’s expressions and mannerisms, I was pretty sure that he didn’t even KNOW how it worked, and simply made a good guess based on how it was constructed.

Wait. If Leo didn’t even know how to play the Valdezinator at first, I doubted he’d put in some secret scales. He’d tricked me! Oh, I was SO getting him back for that.

Leo’s hands flew over the machine, tweaking a lever here, turning a gear there. The most wonderful melody sprang from the machine, a somewhat sad, longing song. Home. The song was about homesickness, I could tell now. But for Leo, there was more to it.

In his expression, I saw the longing of a lover long separated, much like Odysseus’s longing for home.

Odysseus. Ogygia. That song was for Calypso. Yet he had played it for me, to obtain my help. I felt strangely honored that he would share such a private melody with me.

When he had finished, there wasn’t a dry face around. Even Meg was enraptured my the music, tears flowing down her face. I imagine that she knew something about missing home from those long years after she was taken from her childhood home, from her father, and forced to work for Nero.

My godly self was just as transfixed by the instrument as I was. “I must have it. What is it called? What do you want for it?”

Leo hugged the instrument to himself at those words for a few seconds. Then a look of resignation, and a moment later, determination passed over him.

He hadn’t wanted to part with the machine. It must’ve been one of the few things that had reminded him of his girlfriend, but he had done it so that he could get what he needed, and return to her. I decided that when I had obtained the instrument again, I’d let Leo borrow it on occasion. He’d invented it, it was only right.

Leo bluffed for all he was worth... though considering that the instrument lived up to his praise, perhaps it was less a “bluff”, and more just ‘quickly pulling a sales pitch out of nowhere based on things he’s figured out in the last ten seconds and hopes are actually correct.’ “This is the Valdezinator, of course! It works by, um, translating your feeling into music as you manipulate the gears. It’s really meant for me, a child of Hephaestus, to use, though. I don’t know if you could-”

Ah, a CHALLENGE. He knew me well. Seriously, even though he had just met me, he played me like a fiddle.

“I am the god of music! I can certainly master the Valdezinator. I must! It is my duty!”

Oh how I hoped I’d actually be able to do that. I had only just begun unlocking that marvelous instrument’s secrets when Artemis and I had felt our Greek and Roman halves unite and had promptly raced off to help fight the Giants.

“So let’s wheel and deal, Music Man. I give you this; you give me the physician’s cure.”

“Oh... Well, I don’t actually have the physician’s cure.”

“I thought you were the god of medicine.”

I rolled my eyes. Being the god of something didn’t mean I knew everything about it, or that I was best at every aspect of it. When would mortals learn that? Then again, us gods tended to get pretty upset if they suggested such a thing, so perhaps it wasn’t too surprising that they assumed we had more power and expertise over our domains than we actually did.

My godly self explained, “Yes, but I’m the god of many things! Poetry, music, the Delphic Oracle-” here he let out a large sob. “Sorry. I’m fine, I’m fine. As I was saying, I have many spheres of influence. Then, of course, I have the who ‘sun god’ gig, which I inherited from Helios. The point is, I’m rather like a general practitioner. For the physician’s cure, you need a specialist - the only one who has ever cured death: My son Asclepius, the god of healers.”

Ah, Asclepius. I’d have to see if I could visit him. It’d been awhile. I wondered whether Zeus would allow Asclepius to help me, or if he had forbidden Asclepius as well as Artemis from giving me assistance.

Leo clearly wasn’t going to give up that easily. He played a few more notes, tempting my godly self even more. “That’s a shame, Apollo. I was hoping we could make a deal.”

My former self was putty in Leo’s hands at that point. I was a sucker for musical instruments. “Stop! It’s too beautiful! I’ll give you directions to Asclepius. He’s really very close!”

“How do we know he’ll help us? We’ve only got two days until Gaea wakes.”

“He’ll help! My son is very helpful. Just plead with him in my name.You’ll find him at his old temple in Epidaurus.”

Come to think of it, I’d have to ask Leo how that visit had gone. Asclepius didn’t get a lot of visitors, what with his guards preventing most visitors, so I’d imagine he was pretty pleased to have some new company.

“What’s the catch?”

“Ah... well, nothing. Except, of course, he’s guarded.”

“Guarded by what?”

“I don’t know!”

I didn’t know? Had it really been so long? When was the last time I even tried to check on him? A decade ago? A century? I resolved to visit him as soon as was feasible. I’d been neglecting so many of my family members...

“I only know Zeus is keeping Asclepius under guard so he doesn’t go running around the world resurrecting people. The first time Asclepius raised the dead... well, he caused quite an uproar. It’s a long story. But I’m sure you can convince him to help.”

‘Quite an uproar’. Well that was an understatement. Zeus killed Asclepius, I killed some Cyclopes, Zeus made me mortal, and made Asclepius a god.

“This isn’t sounding like much of a deal.” Well sorry Leo, but I honestly COULDN’T help more than that. Well, except for... “What about the last ingredient- the curse of Delos. What is it?”

My godly self stared entranced at the Valdezinator. Leo started looking concerned. I think he may have thought I would just take the thing... which I wouldn’t have. Stealing instruments from their inventor would only discourage others from innovating in the future. I suppose Leo didn’t know that though. I’d certainly given him no reason to believe that I was fair or reasonable.

“I can give the last ingredient to you. Then you’ll have everything Asclepius needs to brew the potion.”

Leo wheedled some more, playing the instrument a little to make sure I was maximally tempted. “I dunno. Trading this beautiful Valdezinator for some Delos curse-”

It worked.

“It’s not actually a curse! Look...” my past self plucked a flower. “This is the curse of Delos.”

“A cursed daisy?”

Well, in a manner of speaking...

My past self sighed. “That’s just a nickname. When my mother, Leto, was ready to give birth to Artemis and me, Hera was angry, because Zeus had cheated on her again. So she went around to every single landmass on earth. She made the nature spirits in each place promise to turn my mother away so she couldn’t give birth anywhere.”

Honestly, didn’t Hera have anything better to do with her time?

“Sounds like something Hera would do.”

“I know, right? Anyway, Hera exacted promises from every land that was rooted on the earth- but not from Delos, because back then Delos was a floating island. The nature spirits of Delos welcomed my mother. She gave birth to my sister and me, and the island was so happy to be our new sacred home it covered itself in these little yellow flowers. The flowers are a blessing, because we’re awesome. But they also symbolize a curse, because once we were born, Delos got rooted in place and wasn’t able to drift around the sea anymore. That’s why yellow daisies are called the curse of Delos.”

Honestly I’d prefer for them to be called ‘the blessing of Delos’. It sounded better to me. Alas, ‘the curse of Delos’ had stuck somehow.

“So I could have just picked the daisy myself and walked away.”

“No, no! Not for the potion you have in mind. The flower would have to be picked by either my sister or me. So what do you say, demigod? Directions to Asclepius and your last magical ingredient in exchange for that new musical instrument- do we have a deal?”

Leo sounded slightly reluctant, but he want through with it,“You drive a hard bargain, Music Man.”

“Excellent!”

The items exchanged hands. I let out a breath and smiled. I’d helped Leo survive. I may have needed to be bribed, but I had still helped to save my friend.

My godly self experimented with the Valdezinator. It made a strange revving noise. I remembered trying to learn how to play it. I don’t know how Leo picked it up so easily. Even as a god, it took me a while to figure out even the basics of how to play it. “Hmm... perhaps it’ll take some practice, but I’ll get it! Now let us find your friends. The sooner you leave the better!”

The world blurred around Meg and I. I instinctively moved closer to her. Meg stayed stock still, still closed off.

I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but then the world resolved.

We were in the middle of a lush green park, satyrs and nymphs scampering around, having fun. Looking around, I spotted Percy and Grover talking close behind me, Juniper not far from them.

Meg perked up slightly, watching the scene with interest.

The scene didn’t remain that peaceful for long.

The sunlight increased in intensity, becoming brighter and brighter. Steam emitted from the grass, as if it was boiling, though I saw no scorch marks. When the steam cleared, there I was, smiling like I was about to present the most coveted prize in the world.

Grover muttered “Oh no.. This can’t be good.”, looking at me with dread. My face fell. The fact that I could hear that now, in this memory, meant I heard it then too and just chose to ignore it.

I struggled, trying to remember what had happened here. Percy and Grover had helped me retrieve something I was missing, I remembered that much. I remembered them being delighted to help me however, so I was afraid that I might have revised my memories after the fact. They certainly didn’t look pleased at the moment.

“Percy Jackson!” My godly self bellowed. “And, um, your goat friend-”

“His name is Grover,” Percy cut in. “And we’re kind of off-duty, Lord Apollo. It’s Grover’s birthday.”

It had been Grover’s birthday? I didn’t remember that at all. Which meant... I’d ruined Grover’s birthday, hadn’t I. My shoulders slumped. I was amazed Grover wasn’t more irritated with me when Meg summoned him in Indiana, if this was the most significant interaction I’d had with him.

“Happy birthday!” My past self congratulated. “I’m so glad you’re taking the day off. That means you two have time to help me with a little problem!”

Clearly I hadn’t known what ‘day off’ meant- or more accurately, I hadn’t cared.

My past self led Percy and Grover away from the rest of the group. I watched as Juniper clung to Grover, as if afraid she’d never see him again. It reminded me of how Frank and Hazel looked when they had left Leo with me. Was this a common thing? For people to be afraid to leave me alone with the people they cared about, but unable to protest due to my godhood?

After a few minutes of walking, my godly self stopped. “Allow me to introduce, the Chryseae Celedones.” He snapped his fingers. Three golden women materialized. Percy looked wary, stepping back a little.

“Uh...What did you say these were? Krissy Kelly something?”

“Chryseae Celedones,” my former self corrected. “Golden singers. They’re my backup band!”

Grover gaped at the mechanical women, his eyes bulging. “I- I didn’t think they were real!”

Huh/ I’d have to perform with them a little more often, if people didn’t even know they existed. From the looks of it, Grover would probably enjoy the concert.

My past self laughed. “Well, it’s been a few centuries since I brought them out. If they perform too often, you know, their novelty wears off. They used to live at my temple at Delphi. Man, they could rock that place. Now I only use them for special occasions.”

Ah, I remembered those long ago days. I made sure to host a concert with them at least once per a mortal’s lifetime, so that every Pythian Oracle had a chance to hear them. I’d have to break them out of storage so that Rachel could attend a concert with them, once I was back on Olympus of course. Maybe hold a concert at camp? It could be a special one, mainly for the campers. If gods wanted to attend, they’d have to actually come down... which meant that their kids could see them. Hm...

Grover had misunderstood. “You brought them out for my birthday?”

Considering I hadn’t even KNOWN it was his birthday, I’d say no. My godly self quickly disabused Grover of that notion... though he was a bit of a jerk about it. “No, fool! I’ve got a concert tonight on Mount Olympus. Everyone is going to be there! The Nine Muses are opening, I’m performing a mix of old favorites and new material. I mean, it’s not like I need the Celedones. My solo career has been great. But people will expect to hear some of my classic hits with the girls: ‘Daphne on my Mind’, ‘Stairway to Olympus’. ‘Sweet Home Atlantis’. It’s going to be awesome!”

A concert with the Nine Muses... I’d promised Crest he’d get to play with me. I sobbed a little, thinking of him turning to dust in my arms.

Withdrawn as she was, Meg still looked concerned at my distress. She hesitantly placed a hand on my arm, but looked ready to flee at the slightest sign of trouble. I flashed her a grateful smile. She looked away, not meeting my eyes... but she kept her hand where it was.

Percy didn’t look thrilled at the prospect of my concert for some reason. Actually, he just generally seemed to wish I wasn’t there. I couldn’t blame him. I’d already noticed that there were only three Celedones, not four, and I remembered issuing a quest to Percy and Grover. He wanted a day off, and I’d ruined that.

“Great. So what’s the problem?” Percy said resignedly.

My godly self demonstrated the problem “Listen.” He commanded them to sing, just a single note. To me, their music sounded slightly empty. It needed that last singer. But to everyone else...

Percy and Grover stared at the automatons, enthralled. I caught Meg staring at them too, though she looked slightly less bewitched than the other two. Perhaps traveling with me had given her a more discerning ear?

A few moments later the girls slowly died down, releasing the mortals from their stupor. Percy stammered out “That... That was amazing.”

By his standards, sure, but by my godly self’s standards? “Amazing? There are only three of them! Their harmonies are empty. I can’t perform without the full quartet.”

Grover sobbed, “They’re so beautiful. They’re perfect!”

Maybe I should warn Grover away from the concert. I doubted that Juniper would appreciate how much her boyfriend seemed to adore the Celedones.

My past self seemed miffed that the mortals didn’t realize the problem. “They’re not perfect, Mr. Satyr.” I groaned. Seriously, he had a name! If you’re asking them for help, the least you could do is remember who you’re asking! “I need all four or the concert will be ruined. Unfortunately, my fourth Celedon went rogue this morning. I can’t find her anywhere.”

Percy seemed confused. “Uh... how does a backup singer go rogue?”

My godly self commanded the Celedones to sigh a depressing note, bringing the mood down.He explained, “They’re out of warranty. Hephaestus made them back for me in the old days, and they worked fine... until the day after their two-thousandth year warranty expired. Then naturally, WHAM! The fourth one goes haywire and runs off to the big city. Of course I tried to complain to Hephaestus, but he’s all Well, did you have my Protection Plus package? And I’m like, I didn’t want your stupid extended warranty! And he acts as if it’s my fault the Celedon broke, and says if I’d bought the Plus package, I could’ve had a dedicated service hotline, but-”

Ugh, I SWEAR Hephaestus does this kind of thing on purpose. He insists it’s coincidence, but after the fourth time something worked perfectly for thousands of years, then started malfunctioning within the week after the warranty expired, I stopped believing him.

Percy wasn’t interested in hearing the full story. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. So if you know that your Celedon is in the city, why can’t you look for her yourself?”

Because I was lazy and considered my time to be far more valuable than theirs, I silently replied. What my past self actually said however, was, “I don’t have time! I have to practice. Besides, this is what heroes are for.”

The look on Percy’s face as he muttered “Running the gods’ errands,” reminded me of how I had looked when Britomartis had demanded that Calypso and I go and fetch her griffins, and that that took priority over finding Georgina because she was a goddess, so her needs were more important than Jo’s or Emmie’s. When I’d wondered whether heroes were ever annoyed at ungrateful and had to restrain themselves, but I had dismissed the idea, not wanting to admit that it was probably the case. Enough had happened that I refused to delude myself any longer.

Percy muttered, “Running the gods’ errands,” resignedly.

“Exactly.”

No. That was NOT what heroes were for. I’d SEEN heroes fight for their friends... and die in place of them. Jason. Crest. Heloise. They were heroes. They’d fought until their last breath to protect the people they cared about. To see MYSELF treat heroes as errand boys, as mere servants to cater to the gods’ whims... I had a sudden urge to punch myself in my smiling, oblivious divine face.

Sadly, I could not. Apollo continued on, explaining the quest. “I assume the missing Celedon is roaming the Theater District, looking for a suitable place to audition. Celedons have the usual starlet dreams - being discovered, headlining a Broadway musical, that sort of thing. Most of the time I can keep their ambitions under control. I mean, I can’t have them upstaging me, can I? But I’m sure without me around she thinks she’s the next Katy Perry. You two need to get her before she causes any problems. And hurry! The concert is tonight, and Manhattan is a large island.”

Grover summarized the situation nicely, “So... you want us to find her, while you do sound checks?”

“Think of it as a favor. Not just for me, but for all the mortals in Manhattan.”

Well at least I hadn’t portrayed it as ME doing the favor of ALLOWING them to help me. I’d had THAT much awareness, at least.

Wait... for all the mortals? Why would it be a favor for...?

Oh.

Oh NO.

Grover realized at the same time I did. Had the same reaction too. “Oh. Oh NO...”

Grover looked completely terrified, a feeling that I had become well acquainted with over my past few months as a mortal. Terrified not for himself, but for the innocent humans just going about their day.

Percy still hadn’t caught on. “What? What oh no?”

“Percy, if that Celedon starts singing in public, in the middle of an afternoon rush hour-”

“She’ll cause no end of havoc,” my past self cut in. “She might sing a love song, or a lullaby, or a patriotic war tune, and whatever the mortals hear...”

This had gone beyond me just annoying some heroes and ruining Grover’s birthday. By not trying to get the Celedon back as soon as possible myself, I had endangered countless mortal lives, simply because I wanted to practice for a concert. If anyone had died or had been irreparably been injured because of my negligence, I’d never forgive myself. It would be just another thing to add to my list of mistakes.

At least I’d gone to some capable heroes. I might have ruined Grover’s birthday, but I didn’t have to worry about them having too much trouble. Grover and Percy were both very capable, they could easily handle a rogue singer.

“She has to be stopped. But why us?” Percy questioned.

Because you’re strong and you’re conveniently nearby, I wanted to answer. Instead my past self stated, “I like you!”

Yes, and if you REALLY liked them, you’d go away and retrieve her yourself. Sadly, I could be annoyed at my past self all I wanted. It didn’t change what had happened.

Of course, that wasn’t the ONLY reason I had gone with them...

“You’ve faced the Sirens before. This isn’t too different. Just put some wax in your ears. Plus your friend Grover is a satyr. He has natural resistance to magical music. Plus he can play the lyre.”

Well at least I bothered remembering Grover’s name this time. Hopefully I’d keep up that trend.

Percy seemed perplexed. “What lyre?”

My godly self summoned my personal lyre. I had created it after I gave my old one, the one Hermes had created when he ran off with my cattle, to Orpheus.

At least I was giving them some much-needed equipment to make things easier.

Grover realized the importance of what he held. “Oh! I couldn’t! This is your-”

“Yes. That’s my own personal lyre. Of course, if you damage it, I’ll incinerate you, but I’m sure you’ll be careful! You do know how to play the lyre, don’t you?”

...

really

REALLY?!

I just HAD to make that threat?

I’d hoped that I was only that much of a murderous asshole because I was so stressed, but NO, I just casually made those threats. They didn’t even want any part of this, I’d forced it on them!

Meg let go of my arm, turning to glare at me. I opened my mouth to try to talk to her, but we weren’t quite done with this scene.

Grover plucked a few notes, looking very, very uncertain. “Ummm...”

“Keep practicing. You’ll need the lyre’s magic to capture the Celedon. Have Percy distract her while you play.”

“Distract her,” Percy repeated, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing... or like he didn’t WANT to believe it, but knew he’d heard exactly right.

My godly self naturally either didn’t notice or didn’t care how Percy felt about all this. “Excellent! I’ll meet you at the Empire State Building at sunset. Bring me the Celedon. One way or another, I’ll persuade Hephaestus to fix her. Just don’t be late! I can’t keep my audience waiting. And remember, not a scratch on that lyre.”

My godly self disappeared. The world blurred. When it came back into focus, we were on a stage. My godly self began starting his sound checks. I took the opportunity to finally have a much-needed conversation with Meg. She still stood beside me, refusing to meet my eyes.

“Meg?” I ventured, asking as gently as possible. I didn’t want to scare or upset her more than I already had.

She stayed silent for a minute. Finally she mumbled something.

“What?” I asked, unable to hear her properly.

She mumbled a little more loudly this time. “The Beast.”

Huh? What did Nero have to do with this?

“What about the Beast?” I asked quietly.

She hesitated, picking her words carefully... as if she was afraid of the consequences if she didn’t.

“That... that was your Beast right, threatening our friends? You were holding him back. You stopped him from hurting them, right?”

No.

NO.

NONONONONONONONONONONONONO

My heart shattered.

I was NOT letting Meg go down that train of thought. I would NOT play Nero’s little game of pretend. Maybe she’d hate and fear me. But at least she’d know it was ME that was to blame, NO ONE ELSE.

I sat on the stage, trying to get down to Meg’s height to seem less imposing.

I looked her in the eye. “Meg. That was me. There is no Beast. There was NEVER a Beast. It was JUST. ME. I was being an idiot, a murderous, stupid, selfish idiot. Leo, Grover, Percy? They had done NOTHING wrong. NONE of them deserved my threats, deserved to think I might hurt them. What I said was WRONG, and I’m sorry. I can’t justify those threats. I won’t even try. Just know this; I WON’T do that again. If you ever thought I was going down that path - if you were EVER afraid that I was reverting to being that sort of asshole again, once I was a god - then contact Artemis. If by some miracle I regain my godhood, I’ll make sure you have some way to contact her, something more secure than an Iris message. I want you and the other mortals to feel SAFE around me, to know that I won’t hurt you. If you or any others still can’t trust me, that’s okay. You don’t have to forgive me for how I behaved in the past. Your trust is yours to give, and yours to withhold. You can take as much time as you wish, forever if you want to. I’ll still try to prove myself worthy of it.”

Meg looked back at me, emotions blurring across herself. Finally she scrunched up her face and looked at me, meeting my eyes this time. “You were stupid. But if you’re gonna be better now, then I think I can forgive you. But you need to apologize to everyone, and don’t do it again.”

I let out a sharp laugh as tears of relief sprang from my eyes. “Yes. Yes, I’ll do that. Next time we see Frank, Hazel, Leo, Percy, or Grover, I’ll do that.”

She hesitated for another moment. I waited. I wasn’t going to rush her.

“Would you have gone through with them? With your threats?”

I wanted to say no, of course not, I was just bluffing... but I wasn’t entirely sure. I didn’t think I would...

“No. No, I wouldn’t have,” I said at last. I sounded painfully unsure, even to myself.

Meg bit her lip and looked away again.

The world blurred again. It seemed that this part was on fast forward.

We reappeared at the park. Grover and Percy arrived a couple minutes later, looking bedraggled, but mostly unharmed.

“Excellent!” my godly self cried out, taking the caged Celedon from them. “I’ll get Hephaestus to fix her up, and this time I’m not taking any excuses about expired warranties! My show starts in half an hour!”

“You’re welcome,” Percy muttered. Yep, he definitely felt the same way I had after Britomartis had given me faint praise after retrieving her griffins.

I glanced at the lyre Grover was holding,and his fearful expression. There was a scratch on its side.

Oh no.

As Grover handed the lyre back to him, my godly self caught sight of the scratch. His expression turned angry and closed off. “You scratched it.” Meg went rigid again, breathing short shallow breaths. The air thickened with tension.

Grover whimpered “Lord Apollo-”. I resolved to buy him as many tin cans as he could eat and give him a long, LONG apology for this. Seeing him this scared of me, legitimately afraid that I would incinerate him, made me want to punch myself even more.

Luckily, Percy interfered before my godly self did something he couldn’t take back. “It was the only way to catch the Celedon. Besides, it’ll buff out. Get Hephaestus to do it. He owes you, right?”

A moment later, my past self grunted his agreement, his expression softening again. “I suppose you’re right. Well, good job, you two! As your reward, you’re invited to watch me perform on Mount Olympus!”

Meg’s breathing slowed down to a normal speed and her muscles loosened. I also relaxed a little. I hadn’t gone through with my threat. I hadn’t been that far gone, even then.

Grover and Percy glanced at each other, clearly wanting no part of that. I couldn’t see why. I might think that my past self was an asshole, but that didn’t stop me from being an asshole with superb musical skills.

Percy hurriedly found a way out of the invitation. “We aren’t worthy. We’d love to, really, but you know, we’d probably explode or something if we heard your godly music at full volume.”

All true - except for the ‘not being worthy’ part - but I could tell it was an excuse. My past self wasn’t nearly as perceptive. “You’re right. It might distract from my performance if you exploded. How considerate of you. Well, I’m off, then. Happy birthday Percy!”

Seriously? I BOUGHT that? Also, I STILL believed that it was Percy’s birthday? It’s not like his birthday was hugely significant to the fate of the world, OH WAIT.

Meg snorted out a small laugh. I was glad that at least she could find a little humor in my stupidity. At least I was good for SOMETHING.

I blinked, and we were both back at Camp Jupiter. I collapsed on the floor. That had been emotionally exhausting.

Meg sat a short distance from me, looking at her hands. “Hey,” I muttered quietly to her, still trying to appear as non-threatening as possible. “Let’s get up. I need to start making some apologies.”

She smiled slightly and stood up. Together we walked out of the tent to find our friends.

#trials of apollo #meg mccaffrey #lester papadopoulos #apollo #fanfiction #the trials of apollo #toa #leo valdez #percy jackson #grover underwood #blood of olympus #singer of apollo

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sol1056 · 6 years

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S7: both here and there, pt1

The best word for S7 --- from a data standpoint --- is polarizing.

The datasets have been pretty volatile, and that’s telling in and of itself. I’m sure by now you’ve heard about the earliest Rotten Tomatoes’ score for S7, at 13%. As word spread, I’m not kidding when I say I gleefully refreshed every five minutes to watch the votes jump up another 200 or so --- while the actual score inched upwards like molasses in January.

Crowd-sourced ratings --- Rotten Tomatoes, IMDB, Yelp, Good Reads, Amazon, etc --- aren’t unknown quantities anymore. We know the first round of reviews, the majority of the time, will produce the highest ratings. After that, it’ll slowly drop until it reaches an equilibrium (when a few votes could no longer tip the score). A break in that established pattern --- of the low votes coming in first --- is a bad sign. Displeased viewers are more likely to just turn off; it takes shit getting real --- or personal --- to get action from the angry ones.

A little context: the first 200 or so votes had an average of about 1.9, which is beyond abysmal. If it’d been a 2.5 to 3.0, that’d signal dislike. 1.9 is verging on serious rage --- and every time someone put out the cry that the average wasn’t climbing fast enough, it simply drew more attention to the developing schism.

S7 now has 2758 votes, 1.4 times more than S1-S6 put together. The fandom moved at a fever pitch, and many of those calls were exhorting fans to vote a flat 5. To still only get a 3.9 average means almost 700 people gave the season the lowest possible score. That’s one-quarter of the viewing populace. One-quarter.

Let’s hypothesize the first 250 or so votes were a single cranky group. If everyone else was generally happy to give 4s or 5s, S7 would be at 91% with a 4.2 average. Without access to the actual breakdown, the only conclusion is that there was no single negative push. The anger continued, even as a larger group tried to cloak that anger with inflated values.

And that’s just the simplest example of polarization and volatility I’m seeing in every dataset, which is why I waited a bit longer to report in. As a warning, there is no single value to say this season was good or bad; we’re going to have to consider all the data in context before we can pass judgment.

We’ll start with the usual datasets to get a sense of estimated viewership and audience engagement and get the broad strokes. In the follow-up I’ll get into more datasets that will round things out for a fuller picture.

an explanation about Netflix ratings

For those of you just tuning in, Netflix is a black box. They never share the specific viewership data, and even the ‘trending’ is calculated based on the viewer + other various data. (Your trending on Netflix is not automatically the same list as someone else’s.) The few times anyone’s tried to capture viewing data, naturally Netflix swears the numbers are all wrong.

The closest we can come is Wikipedia’s page analysis, which apparently correlates to Neilson ratings. That means we’re extrapolating that we could expect the same behaviors from viewers for digital shows. These aren’t the ‘real’ viewer numbers, but that’s fine. I’m using them for comparison, after all, so what really matters is the change, not the total.

a note about the two core datasets

The wikipedia dataset and the google dataset are essentially measuring audience engagement. The drawback is that past 90 days, google’s dataset is combined into weeks, plus it’s relative. To compare multiple seasons, I’m stuck with by-week values. I prefer wikipedia’s dataset for this finer-grained look, because I can get down to the day.

However, I’ve taken the two datasets, merged by week, and compared. They map almost exactly, with a caveat, The release-week values for wikipedia are always higher than google’s by around 5%, and the between-release lull values on google are higher than wikipedia’s by about the same. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle, but without actual numbers from google, eyeballing is it probably good enough for my purposes.

post-release tails comparison

A little over two weeks in, first thing is we check the tails, which are a measure of how long engagement lasts after a season’s release. There’ll be a peak, and then interest will taper off until it hits a threshold, usually the level of audience engagement in the lull between seasons. Sometimes, the tail is relatively flat and long (ie S6). In others, the tail is a bit steeper, indicating a quick drop-off (S3-S5). But it’s also a factor of how high the peak reached, in that some seasons will have farther to go (S1, S2) before reaching that lull threshold where the ‘tail’ ends.

After S6 (yellow line) reversed the falling trend, S7 (dashed green line) is following the same path. If you were expecting a tremendous rise (or fall), you’d be disappointed; the surprise in S7 is that it has no surprises in this dataset. It’s holding the line established by S6, albeit at a higher engagement rate.

This graph takes the above, and adjusts so the peaks are equalized. Now we can see the tails in a better comparison.

S7 wobbles in equal measure to balance out S6; the most we could say is that S7 is holding the line. It neither gained, nor lost. Because the two graphs above are daily, there’s a bit of noise. To streamline that, we’ll take the same data but gathered into weeks (Friday to following Thursday, as releases are always Friday).

comparing the first four weeks of every season

Here we’re comparing the totals for the first week of all seven seasons, then the second week, etc. (S7′s data is incomplete for the 3rd week, so that green bar will probably increase.)

Even here, there are some interesting details hiding in the data. Basically, the rate at which S6 built on S5 is pretty close to the rate on which S7 is building on S6. And the fact is... that’s not how multi-seasons stories usually work.

comparing viewership peaks across seasons

As comparison, this is google’s interest over time tracker for House of Cards:

If a series is expected to go out with a bang, there's usually a spike for the final season, but all the seasons before will steadily degrade, and often by a regular percentage. A quick comparison of several multi-season, serial, shows (Orange is the New Black, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Stranger Things, Daredevil, TrollHunters) seems to indicate the House of Cards pattern would be considered a successful show. Whenever it peaks, about 20% of those viewers will drop out, and after that, the numbers hold mostly steady, with perhaps a 5-10% drop at most. (Trollhunters breaks this mold with a 50% drop for S2, and a finale that almost matches its S1 peak.)

With that in mind, let’s look at the rate of change from one point to another: the peak of season A to the peak of season B. They’re floating so you can see better how the drop from one affected the next.

After S1, 31% of the audience dropped VLD. Of the remainder, 20% quit after S2; after S3, a further 20% didn’t come back for S4. This is where you can see S4's damage: 28% didn’t come back for S5. All told, between S1 and S5, 68% of the viewers quit the show. If VLD had been a Netflix original, S5 would have been its last season.

But thanks to marketing or hype, 17% of those lost viewers returned for S6, which in turn influenced the return of 22% more viewers for S7. None of the other shows had a mid-series rise, let alone a second increase. Viewership hasn’t caught back up to the levels after S2, though, but if I were to say any point turned around the sinking ship, it’s clearly S6.

It’s too soon to say whether S7 will take that further, or if S7 is just holding onto the lead S6 put in place. We won’t really know that until S8.

weekly rate of change to see patterns

Some of the seasons peaked on the 2nd or 3rd day, so I started from that point; starting on the release date (with lower numbers) would camouflage that peak and defeat the purpose of this comparison. The question here is: can we see a pattern in viewership engagement over the first month after a release?

With rate of change, the smaller the drop, the lower the difference. Frex, look at the 3rd and 4th weeks of S5. The difference between weeks 3 & 4, and weeks 4 & 5, is only 1%. That means the engagement level was dropping at a steady rate across those weeks.

Now you can see the real damage: S4. Basically, a week after S4′s release, 78% of the audience checked out. Next to that, S5 regains a tiny bit of ground, and S6 increased that. So far, S7 is holding steady with S6.

Again, S7 hasn’t lost ground, but it hasn’t really gained, either.

pre- and post-season context: measuring hype

What none of these graphs show, so far, is the context of each season. For that, we need to look across all the seasons. Again to reduce the noise (but not so much it’s flattened), I’ve collected days into weeks, starting on friday, ending the following thursday. The release week is marked with that season’s color.

I know it’s kinda hard to see, here, sorry. To throw in a different dataset for a moment, here’s a simple track of all searches for ‘voltron legendary defender’ from May 2018 to now.

This pattern echoes across several other datasets, btw. There’s a spike for S6, which never entirely drops off, and then we get a second spike for the premiere at SDCC. (Which is also the first time a between-season premiere has skyrocketed like that.) After SDCC, the base level stays high.

In other words, does S7 appear as a larger spike because it began from a higher base rate? How do we compare season-to-season, when one starts at a radically elevated position compared to the rest?

The question became how to untangle hype from viewer reaction to the season. Here’s the viewership levels for S5, S6, and S7, again consolidated into weeks.

After S5, things dropped pretty low. A week before S6, reviews, a trailer, and some wacky marketing hijinks lured a lot of people back in. Two things happened between S6 and S7 that are worth noting.

The first, two weeks after S6, was the announcement that Shiro was no longer a paladin, and his link with Black had been severed. This weekly graph blurs the details slightly, but the drop you see in the next two light-gray columns actually starts the day after that announcement.

The second gray bar is SDCC, where S7E1 premiered. In the gap between then and the week before release, the levels drop back to the new (higher) baseline. Excitement was high, propelling audience engagement. If hype is meant to increase engagement, and these datasets are capturing the same thing to some basic degree, there’s a value in what the pre-season week and post-season week could be telling us.

the narrative in the data

If the week-prior is high, it means audiences are engaged due to pre-season marketing, trailers, rumors, and reviews. If the week-after is high, it means audiences are excited and engaging directly with the show itself. In other words, you could say week-prior measures how much people are buzzing or getting ready, and week-after measures how much they’re re-watching or encouraging others to watch.

For S1 and S2, the week-prior was really low. After S1 there was a splash in October, but not big enough to keep energy up through to S2. Both S1 and S2 had much higher week-after rates. The simplest reason would be that people who’d seen the season were now talking about it and raising buzz on their own, thus propelling further engagement.

Until S7, S3 had the highest week-prior engagement --- and the first time there was a drop, comparatively, in the week-after. S4 follows that trend, with a much larger drop. S5′s before and after are close to equal, which to me says that whatever excitement was ginned up prior, the season didn’t have much of an impact one way or another. It feels almost apathetic, actually.

S6 reverses the trend; people went into it barely more excited than they had been after finishing S5, but for the first time since S2, there was a post-release rise. Audiences were engaged again. Even with the drop from the post-season news, it wasn’t so far SDCC couldn’t rocket it back up again. But if you look at the graph above for S7, once again there’s a slight drop in the week-after.

Given the level of week-prior excitement (especially with the SDCC spike still fresh in people’s minds), the lack of post-season buzz is noticeable.

To get a better look, I’ve isolated the rate of change for each season, comparing week-prior and week-after. S1 and S2 had such extreme amounts (744% and 156% increases, respectively) that it torqued the entire graph. I’ve left them off so we can focus on S3 through S7.

After S3, engagement dropped by 9%, indicating a less-enthused audience after seeing the season. S4 went further, dropping by 27%. S5 managed a small increase of 4%, and S6 increased engagement by 18%.

S7 has a 2% drop. Not as bad as S3′s, but nowhere near the huge spike we should’ve seen, had the pre-season hype been borne out in the season itself. That excitement didn’t quite pop like S4; it’s more like a slow leak.

comparing across datasets

One more thing before I wrap up this first post. Google’s data is on the left, and Wikipedia’s dataset is on the right, with the weeks marked that include the actual release date. (I did this in excel so the images don’t line up quite right, but hopefully it’s good enough to illustrate.)

With Wikipedia’s daily values added in a Fri-to-Thu week group, there’s only one week before a strong drop. With the Google calendar-style (Sun to Sat), S7′s second week goes even higher, and the drop is steep.

In the Google numbers, 2/7ths of the green bar is ‘now showing on Netflix,’ and the remaining 5/7ths is the hype-based engagement levels. The same goes for the week following, which in google’s dataset is even higher; 5/7ths of that, plus the last 2 days of the week before, equal the S7 green bar on the Wikipedia dataset, on the right.

And that means there was enough traffic in five days to propel an entire week to even higher than the week that contained the first two days of the season (which usually loom over all others by a noticeable degree). It’s even more remarkable when you look at the Wikipedia dataset, which is arranged to run from Friday to the following Thursday -- and which does have a drop-off.

I’ll be tapping a few more datasets to unpack this anomaly, in my next post. I’ll warn you now, they paint a very different picture of S7.

part 2 can be found here

#vld #voltron #doing the data cronch #sol explains things

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gwyvian · 6 years

Text

Less Resistance, More Dalliance

Chapter 2: Hammer to the Core

“New Tuchanka,” Ryder said, gesturing to the fiery ball that was Elaaden looming below. She never tired of the stunning orbital view the bridge offered her, imagining that she could feel the immense power of whichever planet the Tempest visited emanate from the depths of its core, sucking on her ship into a dizzying spiral had they let it; somehow planets seemed palpably alive from up here, despite perhaps being a wasteland as Elaaden happened to be.

If she watched long enough, that ephemeral sensation was enchanting, though today the feeling was marred by thoughts of what they were here for and all the turmoil attached to it; she wished she could stay right where she was and marvel at the desert world from afar without descending at all – there was little enough on the surface of this particular place that could be called enchanting. Not to mention just thinking of the abominable swelter she was about to experience down below made her skin itch uncomfortably in anticipation.

“As barren as ever,” Evfra muttered from beside her, glowering down at the planet with obvious displeasure.

Ryder glanced at him, trying to gauge his mood. “Do you know what you’re going to say?” she asked finally.

“Yes.”

“…and?” Ryder prompted.

“I’m going to tell her that allying with my enemy will make her an enemy of all angara,” Evfra replied levelly, as if that were the most normal thing in the universe.

“You– what?” Ryder spluttered. “That is a sure way to put her back up, she’ll never ally with the Resistance like that!”

“Krogan respect boldness, or so I am told,” he said, giving her a pointed look. “Diplomacy didn’t serve you with her – or did it?”

“Well… no, but…” Ryder floundered for a good answer. “Look, I just know krogan better than you do and I can tell you that this isn’t the best way to approach it.”

Evfra crossed his arms and frowned at her. “The krogans’ relationship to the angara is an entirely different thing from their relationship to other Milky Way species. This Morda needs to know that among us we do not fear expressing our intentions… and that she should be wary of anyone who does try.”

“You mean Ashae?” she flinched slightly; she had been trying to avoid naming the woman in Evfra’s hearing as much as possible, though she knew it didn’t stop either of them from dwelling on her. In any case, Evfra didn’t react to the name this time, visibly at least. “You want to imply that the True Resistance is trying to play her,” Ryder continued.

Evfra nodded, then turned to look at the planet again. “Let’s get this over with.”

Ryder turned her back on the bridge to face him, leaning closer. “And here I thought you’d enjoy getting away from paperwork and Director Tann,” she murmured wryly. “Don’t tell me you’re that eager to go back!”

“I enjoy that part plenty,” Evfra responded, matching her tone. “It’s the ‘desert planet with unpleasant inhabitants’ part that I am not looking forward to.”

“Well, you could stay here for a while… have a mobile operating base aboard the Tempest,” she suggested, smiling innocently. That would give her more time with him, which seemed particularly important since something was clearly stewing in him; she wanted to keep him close and find out if she could help. “I could make you an honorary member of my crew, give you access to SAM…”

“No,” Evfra shook his head immediately.

Ryder maintained her smile, but his instant rejection stung. “No?” she asked, prompting him to elaborate.

Evfra blinked down at her with consternation, apparently aware how it sounded. “You gave me valid reasons to relocate to the Nexus temporarily… I don’t trust the Initiative to keep funneling support, as it is I have to fight for everything, and even then they make it obvious it’s a concession.” His derisive tone indicated clearly enough what he thought of the penny-pinching strategy they applied to him. “What will they give me if I’m not there to hold their hands?”

Ryder pursed her lips thoughtfully, not really wanting to admit she agreed. “I can make frequent jumps back,” she said, but she could almost feel Kallo’s eyes burning the back of her neck; he didn’t say anything of course, he wasn’t included in the discussion – perhaps they should have done it privately, but it was too late for that now – yet she knew what he would have said. They would lose precious time she needed for hunting the Archon by doing as she suggested, and it would be the Tempest’s engines that got the short end of the stick; and, by extension, her pilot.

Evfra frowned at her, as if exasperated by how she was taking it. “You know I wish it were that simple,” he said.

“Yeah,” Ryder replied a little stiffly, stepping away from him. “Let’s go then, I suppose.”

She knew she shouldn’t take it personally, but as she suited up and notified her crew to get ready if any of them wished to come along – none of them did, not even Drack – she couldn’t help but feel as though everything had become about their relationship precisely because it had been founded on everything going on around them. The situation in Heleus was frayed and fracturing across all fronts; even though Mashiar hadn’t succeeded in pitting the Angaran Resistance against the Andromeda Initiative, he’d made fine work destabilizing almost every major planet in the cluster one way or another, if it hadn’t been that way to begin with. That meant neither she nor Evfra had the luxury of indulging their personal whims, she was ready to admit that, but she couldn’t help but feel that them working together as a team was the missing ingredient to their success.

A little while and a turbulent landing later the pair of them disembarked, Ryder still mulling over what it was that bothered her about the Resistance leader, wondering if she was the only one who sensed trouble ahead. Not just in their business with Morda or the threat of kett attacks, the True Resistance scooping up all the resources and people they could out from under them, and even the surprising Roekaar revival, but also in Evfra himself. Driving silently in the Nomad from the grudgingly welcomed Initiative outpost to New Tuchanka proper, Ryder decided that she wasn’t being oversensitive or selfish; she couldn’t put her finger on it exactly, but she felt the man withdrawing into himself and she saw no good coming of it. After a time, Ryder decided to break the silence; she didn’t want to continue thinking about the subject anymore.

“Are there any cells nearby we can contact?” she asked.

“On this planet? No,” Evfra replied. “Only your krogan have found it to be worth the effort, I doubt even…” he trailed off, face turning to stone.

Ah. Mashiar – if Ashae’s name provoked tension, mention of the man behind Firaan’s mask provoked an even worse anger in him that took twice as long to cool. Ryder didn’t need to know what he’d been about to say about the former Resistance commander, but his stumble into the subject did highlight one of the primary issues Evfra was struggling with as she saw it: he couldn’t bring himself to talk about what had happened, at least not in any great detail.

In the immediate aftermath of Firaan’s identity being revealed, Evfra and Ryder had shared something wonderful in the face of all the pain and suffering the commander had caused; he had admitted in front of everyone that he loved her, he rallied the support of the Resistance members still remaining and he was ready with a plan, there was energy about both his words and actions. But as time passed, he brooded more and more over what had happened and refused to speak about it; and because he wouldn’t talk, Ryder wasn’t sure exactly what it was that bothered Evfra so much. She supposed it could have merely been a question of a loss of confidence; the Resistance had suffered a schism and she knew it anguished Evfra that he couldn’t hold them together at the time, a feeling only worsened by the numerous setbacks they had faced since then.

“Jaal said that there are cells out there still who don’t know,” Ryder said gently. “We’ll find them.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Evfra growled.

Ryder took a patient breath. “No, but I thought perhaps the Tempest could aid you there – we need more allies, Evfra. If we’re going to win against the kett, like it or not we have to get ahead of the True Resistance and reaffirm their loyalty. It’s entirely possible that many who went to her side aren’t even aware of our side of the story.”

“If they’re willing to blindly trust Ashae because she says I’ve lost it, I don’t want them,” Evfra retorted.

“We can’t afford to think of it that way,” she replied.

“I will not work with a force that doesn’t trust me as their leader.”

“Ashae was one of your lieutenants,” Ryder reminded him a little testily. “Why wouldn’t they trust her when you yourself put her in a position of authority?” He opened his mouth, probably to snarl at her that Ashae was no longer entitled to the rank, but she went on before he could speak. “Evfra, they don’t know, they weren’t there to witness what happened and even many of those who fell in line on Voeld still aren’t aware of the full extent of the conspiracy. You can’t expect all of them to make the right decision without all the facts.”

First Firaan, and then there were the defectors to contend with; at least, in Evfra’s eyes Resistance cells allying themselves with the grandly named ‘True Resistance’, at Ashae’s invitation of course, was a betrayal to the cause. He had personally trained some of those men and women; Ryder couldn’t imagine what Evfra must have been feeling when people he knew and liked picked the wrong side. Or perhaps he thought that they chose Ashae because they thought him weak? Either way, she was afraid her love was slipping away from her into a darkness where she could not follow. One thing she was sure of, however, was that if Evfra kept thinking of the matter in this way, he would lose the war and the Resistance both; he couldn’t afford to take it personally.

Much like I can’t take it personally, she thought ruefully. Maybe she had been too focused on their relationship, just as Evfra was too focused on his perceived failure as a leader. She let the silence stretch, immersing in the rolling dunes and the shimmers of heat dancing across them. It didn’t take long for the Nomad to skirt the pits and chasms between them and the entrance to the krogan settlement and they parked under a scraggly tree nearby. The scarlet leaves rustled as they got out, making their web of shadows dance across the shining hull of the Nomad playfully; they didn’t really offer a lot of shade, but nevertheless she enjoyed the proximity of vegetation that apparently thrived on this otherwise lifeless rock.

“Will they let us in?” Evfra nodded to the guards posted at the entrance.

“Drack being here would have helped,” Ryder said with a suffering sigh, “but they should. There’s no reason for them to keep us out exactly, I’ve had dealings with Morda before this.”

Evfra frowned. “Isn’t he a member of your squad? Why don’t you just tell him to come?”

Ryder winced; she had hoped he wouldn’t ask. “Because… he’s had a spat with someone. He didn’t want to come because he doesn’t want to kill the guy, the colony needs him – it’s a long story,” she waved a dismissive hand, trying to pass it off as unimportant and unworthy of further discussion.

Evfra blinked. “It is my understanding that your krogan is approximately a thousand years old. I would assume this isn’t his first time facing a confrontational situation.”

“Yes, he is. He’s not my krogan, though, but he is krogan, you see.”

“If he were a member of the Resistance he would have either learned to control himself by now or he would have been put out – why would you allow this?”

“You don’t really understand how krogan work…” Ryder said weakly. “Perhaps I should explain…”

Evfra grimaced, scar twisting his lips into a snarl as he cut in. “Whatever explanation you have, I doubt it will make me appreciate such an ineffective chain of command; what if one of your team decides they don’t like hot weather or they don’t feel like fighting kett today, will you just let them stay on the ship?” he demanded.

Ryder gritted her teeth. “Of course not, and none of them would ask such a thing.”

“Except this Drack, apparently,” Evfra pointed out.

“Oh, no. No, no, no, you’re not doing this,” Ryder jabbed an angry finger at him. “You’re not projecting your perceived issues with the Resistance onto my squad mates! Drack is one of the most competent fighters on my team, he’s proven himself invaluable to both me and you, don’t you forget that! So if he wants to stay on the ship, he can stay, and that’s the end of that.”

Surprisingly, Evfra sighed in apparent resignation. “Perhaps you are right. I have no quarrel with him, but your leadership can be… peculiar.”

Ryder bit her lip, frustrated. She supposed she could have demanded that Drack come with them, she was within her rights to do so. Still, she did understand the battle-worn krogan’s problem, but that didn’t mean she had the right words to explain it to Evfra properly. To her – or likely most anyone from the Milky Way – that was just the way krogan were, and while Drack was the most level-headed krogan she’d ever met, she knew he would kill without hesitation if he had reason; it seemed perfectly sensible to her that he avoid further confrontations. Or perhaps Evfra was right and she was too soft on her companions. Weighing the question, however, only reaffirmed her original reasoning: she trusted each of them and their judgement, if one of them had an issue that needed resolving, she had never seen a reason to deny them help or the leeway they needed, so long as they didn’t jeopardize anyone or her pathfinding duties.

“How about I tell you a little more about the krogan?” Ryder suggested, starting towards the entrance. “But inside. It’s really hot out here.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” Evfra said dryly, but followed.

The two krogan at the main gates had been watching their little exchange with some amusement, Ryder realized; as they drew closer their thick fingers tightened reflexively on their rifles, but they seemed to be exchanging credits now – had they bet on who would win the argument? It annoyed her, but she nodded to them politely as she entered and flashed her teeth in what she hoped they would interpret as a cool smile. Thankfully, neither guard appeared to have any intention of harassing them, and beyond the wager neither they nor anyone else inside New Tuchanka really paid them any mind.

“Have you spoken to Drack at all?” Ryder asked over her shoulder as she lead the way to Morda’s – there was no other word for it – throne room. The krogan overlord was nothing if not pretentious about her claimed title.

“Jaal has, I’ve read a little about them in his reports and the… info packets kindly left on my desk.” He didn’t say anything overtly, but his tone made it clear enough that Evfra was offended by how Nexus leadership had handled the situation, and Ryder agreed; they could have shown more delicacy and at least offered to personally answer any questions he had about Milky Way species rather than – perhaps inadvertently – implying that he should familiarize himself so that he could avoid stepping into cross-cultural pitfalls.

“Not really the same thing as firsthand information,” Ryder muttered, not sure if she was angry with Tann and Addison, or Evfra for not pressing harder. They squeezed by a small group of krogans loitering on the first hewn stairway; they appeared to be regaling each other with battle stories that sounded half fictitious and half physically impossible. “You know they have a… rocky relationship with most other Milky Way species at least?” she asked Evfra once they passed the krogans.

“It’s hard to miss,” Evfra replied, giving another pair of krogans a significant look as they eyed Ryder suspiciously. “I hope you are not reiterating a history lesson about the Krogan Rebellions, I do read what I’m given.”

“I just want to make sure this goes well,” Ryder grimaced, slowing her steps as they neared the level where Morda was.

“I know enough. Right now all I need to know is what I can do to make sure Ashae doesn’t get her claws into Morda – whatever your history database says, the only really important thing I learned about the krogan is that I want them fighting on my side, and against kett if I can help it.”

“Without knowing the nuances…” she began as she turned to faced him, forcing him to come to a stop before he could just barrel in. The tightness she saw in his face once again made her wish they could have avoided mention of Ashae at all, but it was nigh impossible under the circumstances; she would have to just live with the fact and allow for the Resistance leader’s accompanying mood swings.

“I will be fine,” Evfra finished her sentence, the finality in his voice punctuated with the flat stare he gave her.

Ryder’s lips thinned and she was bursting with the desire to harangue him because he was being a culturally insensitive idiot about the coming negotiations; but looking up into those silvery maelstroms he had for eyes convinced her that he was unreachable by her arguments. Whatever he had planned, he intended to stick to it and, evidently, not to share more than he already had – probably because he knew she would object in some way. Maybe he was right, maybe the human approach wasn’t the right way here, and who was to say how the krogan really felt towards the angara? They hadn’t known each other long enough for her to draw any definitive conclusions about that. She prayed he knew what he was doing and gave him a reluctant nod of acceptance.

“Just… wait here a moment,” she said, placing a light hand on his chest.

“Why?” he asked, but the corners of his mouth twitched in amusement at the request.

Ryder just shook her head warningly to stay silent and where he was, and then closed the distance between them and the chamber beyond with soft footsteps, peering around the corner. She tried to inconspicuously creep forward to get a glimpse of Morda and her attendants; it bought her all of five seconds to come up with a good reason to go back to the ship and plan things out properly, that stubborn seed in her not allowing the talks commence without at least trying. Unfortunately – or perhaps fortunately – she saw nothing of note before she had to duck back around the bend, lest Morda catch sight of her.

“Morda,” Ryder said softly, “is not looking happy.”

“From your description she is often not happy,” Evfra grunted, though he kept his voice as low as she did.

Ryder grimaced. “Well, she’s even less happy when she sees me usually, I don’t think I’ll be much use to you here, unless you want to listen to her call me ‘Nexus’ and rage at me for being an offensive blight on her agenda.”

Unexpectedly Evfra caressed her cheek with a finger, evoking a familiar tingle in her skin. “You brought me here, and you counseled me. That’s all I need.”

Ryder snorted at that last – much counseling she had done – but the gesture warmed her all the same. “Good luck,” she said and he strode in alone.

Evfra slowly stepped before Morda’s perch, his approach accompanied by a susurration from the surrounding crowd of krogans as they murmured to one another about the alien supplicant, seemingly oblivious to the guards who took a threatening step forward to block his further ascent. Ryder knew from experience how difficult it was to ignore their well-practiced, hostile glaring; in light of that, the Resistance leader’s poise and apparent indifference impressed her – she just hoped Morda would be equally impressed as opposed to offended. The krogan overlord was easily offended, unfortunately.

Winter-storm eyes were leveled up to where Morda must have been sitting; Ryder couldn’t see her from where she stood, only Evfra and a few krogan at the edge of the perch and deeper in the chamber, but she could picture the overbearing woman all too well. It seemed as though Morda was intending to let the silence stretch while her attendants and guards growled and glared at the newcomer threateningly, as if she was waiting for them to soften him up, but Evfra merely clasped his hands behind his back and did not let his gaze waver for a second.

“Overlord Morda,” Evfra said neutrally, inclining his head in respect, as one equal to another.

“Who comes before me and dares speak before I do?” Morda’s cold, angry voice snapped on the heels of Evfra’s words, cutting him off. Ryder held her breath when she saw Evfra stiffen visibly at her tone, but a moment later his broad shoulders relaxed again.

“Evfra de Tershaav, leader of the Angaran Resistance,” Evfra replied calmly, this time waiting for her to address him.

Morda grunted dismissively. “I’ve already met the other one claiming that title – your quarrels with her does not interest me, if that is why you’re here. Leave.”

“Hear me,” Evfra said a little forcefully, “I do not come to you to supplicate a matter regarding Ashae and you will never see me do so – she is a traitor as far as I’m concerned, worth no notice, a former lieutenant of mine who betrayed the very cause she claims to represent.”

“In her version of the story you are on a Nexus leash,” Morda replied, her tone prodding.

Evfra grimaced. “What leash?” he gestured wide with his arms before returning them behind his back, emphasizing his solitude. Of course, if anyone informed the overlord that Ryder had accompanied him it was a rather weak display in her estimation, but perhaps speaking to her alone would be enough. He must have seen what he wanted to in Morda’s face, because he gave a slight smile before continuing. “I know Ashae well. Let me tell you what she offered you and then all I ask is that you listen to my offer. I trust you will choose wisely who to ally New Tuchanka with.”

“You may proceed – but keep it brief. My time is precious.”

Ryder was impressed; she must have considered Evfra to be intriguing if she was this polite. She wished she herself could see this side of Morda more often, but as of their last meeting she was sure that just the sight of her would be inflammatory; the overlord had finally relented and granted the Nexus permission to build an outpost after some tough negotiating, true, but that didn’t endear the Nexus to any of the krogan, particularly after their treatment by the Andromeda Initiative’s current upstart leaders.

“Of course,” Evfra inclined his head again in acceptance and thanks, though he still looked to be glowering from under his brow. That wasn’t his fault, really, Ryder thought with a small smile; he just had that kind of irascible face. “Ashae knows about your history with the Nexus, so she would have offered to pass along any intel she learned about them, of course.”

“That much would be obvious to a pyjak,” Morda cut in.

Evfra’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly, correctly interpreting the insult even if he didn’t know what a pyjak was, but otherwise he ignored the interruption. “Only, her intel will tell you that the Andromeda Initiative is trying to co-opt krogan independence and will send your warriors where they are not needed, all to divert your attention from what she’s really doing.”

“And what would she be really doing?” Morda asked, her tone clearly implying her patience was beginning to fray. Ryder bit her lip anxiously, crossing her arms as though to restrain herself.

“She would offer armed support in exchange for your support should she need it, fully knowing that the krogan would never need to ask because she’s feeding you bad intel – because she thinks she understands the krogan and how to get you to fight for her without giving anything in return.” Evfra hadn’t exactly answered Morda’s question, but Ryder saw what he was doing: if he let her draw him into an argument, the conversation would be over in seconds and he would never be able to say everything he wanted to. “You will find yourself fighting against other angara who I guarantee you have no wish to fight you.”

Morda laughed. “You are not very convincing – krogan live to fight!”

“In other words, you enjoy fighting other species’ battles for them?” Evfra asked and received a snarl of outrage from Morda and others. He had been reading up; he knew what buttons to push. “All you have to do is to press her a little for something, test just how willing she is to really help you in return – you will see that she is trying to use you.”

“No one uses the krogan anymore,” Morda pronounced with icy finality. “Let them try and we will feast on their corpses!”

“Push Ashae,” Evfra insisted, “in her eyes, you all come second compared to her followers.”

“And you do not put angara ahead of everyone else?” Morda demanded scornfully.

“I do not need to resort to manipulation,” he responded curtly. “If I want to use krogan, you will know about it. If I want help from you as an ally, you will know about that, too.” The angry snarls increased, but Ryder was sure she saw a few faces with expressions of approval – honesty was valued among them, but more importantly, Evfra had been right: boldness was the right approach the krogan.

“There’s just one problem,” Morda said, her voice surprisingly serene all of a sudden. “I know. I know that you are on a Nexus leash even if they let you off it long enough to scuttle before me by yourself.”

Evfra’s face tightened with anger, scar pulling at his mouth. “Is that what Ashae told you? After what I just said, you believe her?”

“She told me much more,” Morda went on. “She said you were romantically involved with the human Pathfinder, you were intimate – who knows what things you picked up because of your disgusting cross-species mating.”

Ryder’s middle felt like a ball of ice at those words; they hadn’t even tried to keep it a secret anymore, they were well and truly past that point, and there was no reason for the krogan not to know about it, yet something about how she was saying it… She had never taken Morda to be a xenophobe – at least, not beyond the typical resentment krogan harbored towards some alien species, if not all – and it was clear that not all krogan shared the sentiment, judging by the uncomfortably shuffling feet and frowns, but she noted that they also looked confused. Perhaps Ashae had been whispering in Morda’s ear so to speak, turning her against Evfra and the Angaran Resistance by insinuating something – or, knowing Ashae personally, believing it herself – but clearly the overlord hadn’t shared what Ashae revealed.

“My personal relationships with anyone are none of your concern,” Evfra said coldly, his stormy eyes radiating electric anger.

“You expect me to trust your word when you would take someone like her to your bed?” The scorn was back in her voice.

“Someone like her?” Evfra’s lips drew into a silent snarl. “If you think my involvement with Ryder has any influence over my position as leader of the Resistance, you will regret underestimating me.”

“You dare threaten me? After the insults you have thrown at my feet and your troops gathering around the Remnant ship? Oh, yes! I know about them, too,” Morda said vehemently. “I certainly know that I didn’t grant you permission to violate our territory!”

“My troops?” Evfra asked in genuine confusion. “I haven’t sent anyone to Elaaden.”

“Liar!” Morda roared. “You forget, that one knows you as well as you claim to know her, she’s seen your battle plans! She told me about angara on Elaaden, did you mention them? Of course not! Because you didn’t want me knowing. I’ll tell you one other thing, angaran: I know how your species suffers in this climate; well, as far as I’m concerned, you’ll be pleased to know the lot of you can consider yourselves banned – unless I give express permission.”

Evfra seemed to realize that Morda was not going to be swayed; she already had been. “Very well,” he said in a tight voice, “I will withdraw and leave you to your… deliberations. If you change your mind, as I’m sure you will once Ashae betrays you as she betrayed me, I will be ready to negotiate on behalf of the Angaran Resistance.”

“Leave my sight before I have my guards throw you out,” Morda called after Evfra, who was already leaving. His steps weren’t hasty, but he didn’t dawdle, either.

Ryder tensely waited for Evfra to come back to where she stood before finally unwinding her arms and gesturing sharply in a silent question towards the krogans. He just grimaced at her in response, eyes cutting to her and back ahead as he walked passed her and back up towards the surface without a word. Ryder followed, not sure if she should kick him or not for not listening to her; not that she thought the outcome would have been much better if he had. Not to mention that comment at the end, the nerve… she groused over it in her head, wondering if she should attempt to give Evfra a talking to about his wording. He made it sound like the Initiative was weak and Morda equating the Resistance with them was an insult – well, maybe that hadn’t been his intention, but it was as good a subject to funnel her frustration into as any other part of this disastrous meeting.

Evfra didn’t slow down or say a word until he was pulling himself back into the Nomad, and even then all he did was mutter at her to get them back to the Tempest and let him think. Ryder tried to pry his thoughts out all the same, giving both gentle coaxing and irritable prodding a crack, but he simply ignored her, silently fuming and tempestuous silvery eyes gazing into nothing as his attention was turned inward. By the way his lips almost peeled back from his teeth every once in a while in a silent snarl, she could guess the tone of his thoughts at least. Perhaps he was just composing his strategy for what to do next, but she wasn’t about to let it lie. Thankfully the Tempest wasn’t far, so she didn’t have to wait long before she could demand answers. Once aboard, Evfra headed straight to the meeting room instead of her quarters and Ryder followed, wondering what he was up to.

“Evfra,” she said firmly, grabbing ahold of his arm, trying to grab his attention as well. “Will you please tell me what the hell is going on? Why won’t you say anything?”

“I told you to let me think,” Evfra growled, glaring down at her, but a moment later his expression softened to a mere frown of displeasure.

“I know that went badly,” Ryder said as calmly as she could, “but if you just talk to me I’m sure we can figure out what to do next. Morda isn’t the only avenue to the krogan heart.”

Evfra looked away, silent.

Ryder let out a frustrated sigh. “Alright, then I will do the talking! Whatever nonsense she was spouting about us, not all krogan share that sentiment, I saw it in their faces now and I know it to be true. You still have support there, we just have to…”

“There’s no point,” Evfra cut in angrily. “Morda isn’t the problem. Ashae is, it’s her we need to deal with once and for all.”

“Saying that doesn’t make it happen out of thin air, we still know far too little to…”

“I can get inside her head, predict her movements,” he cut her off again. “I will stay aboard the Tempest, we must go to every planet and organize Resistance forces on each front, we need the majority and we need it now. Any undecided cells will have to fall in line or suffer the consequences.”

“Evfra, no, you’re playing into her hands!” Ryder balked. “She wants you to make mistakes, she’s provoking you with the information she fed to Morda.”

“And the angara by the Remnant ship?” Evfra demanded. “She’s gathering her strength right under Morda’s nose and she made sure the krogan would barr me from Elaaden, I must respond in kind, otherwise I’ve just ensured a safe haven for her precious ‘True Resistance’.”

“Those angara might not even be there at all!”

“They’re there, and they’re hers,” he scowled stubbornly.

“Mashiar is still out there,” Ryder pointed out, bracing herself for his reaction to the name, but surprisingly he just gave her a flat stare.

“No. I know it’s not.”

“How would Morda know the difference between Roekaar and Resistance? It could be, you can’t discount the possibility.”

“Mashiar is finished,” Evfra made a dismissive gesture, slipping from her grasp as he moved away from her. “Besides, what possible reason would he have to send angara loyal to him to a derelict Remnant ship?”

Ryder frowned. “As I recall we never really could figure out what went on in that man’s head. Who’s to say what reasons he would have? He’s completely crazy,” she shivered, uncomfortably reminded of the last time she had seen him, that cinnamon desert scent filling her nose and the cold metal of his blade pressing into her side, his mocking voice in her ear…

“No, Ashae is trying to divert my attention with those angara, she’s baiting me into focusing on her activities here while she scoops up the remaining cells. We have to get to them before she does, everything hinges on having the superior force. Elaaden will have to be last, even though that allows her time to strengthen her position.”

“Still sounds like she’s provoking and you are reacting, Evfra,” Ryder said irritably. “Either way, she’s in control of the battlefield as long as you focus all your attention on her instead of actually leading – you need to focus on the kett! That’s why people follow you, that’s the Evfra they need to see, because it’s him they want to follow!”

“I am always focused on the kett,” Evfra snarled hotly. “Don’t ever imply that I am not!”

“I wasn’t,” Ryder gritted her teeth, hurt that he thought she didn’t understand after all they had been through together. “But you’re letting Ashae get inside your head! Don’t give up on the krogan so easily, they’re…”

“The krogans have already decided whose side to take,” he growled.

“Will you stop interrupting me?” Ryder shouted, patience snapping. For a long moment they just glared at each other, until finally she decided that this was getting them nowhere. She took a deep breath before continuing. “I know you think what Ashae is doing is personal, but ultimately she left because she thinks she is the better candidate to defeat the kett. All I meant is that we can win if we lead by example, and the best way to do that is to stop treating her as if her claims on a leadership title are legitimate – we legitimize her by making her the enemy.”

“It is personal,” Evfra retorted, “and I have no intention of letting her or anyone else take over the fight, I forged the Resistance into a force to be reckoned with and stars be my witness, I would rather die than let anyone demolish it because they happen to disagree with how I conduct my personal life! Or have you forgotten that you were the reason she went against me in the first place?”

“That’s unfair,” Ryder said quietly. “Firaan was the one turning all of us against each other in the first place, the reason why Ashae thought I was a bad influence.” For a split second she thought Evfra might snap back at her that he agreed with that sentiment, but he said nothing, only letting out a slow breath to calm himself. “So you’re staying?” she asked after a moment, breaking the silence.

“For now,” he said, looking troubled now – or was it uncomfortable?

“Will you… stay with me?” Ryder asked stiffly. She desperately wanted to forget their argument, forget the krogan and the Resistance, all of it, and just enjoy his company and the prospect of having him to herself for more than brief visits whenever she swung by the Nexus; but the stress of the situation wouldn’t allow her to relax, not even for a moment.

“Unless you want to keep me in a closet,” Evfra replied, almost sounding apologetic.

Ryder smiled. “It would serve you right,” she said. “But I’d rather keep you close.” She wished that would be enough.

#mass effect andromeda #evfra de tershaav #fanfic #fanfiction #angst #writers #evfra x ryder #angara #resistances and dalliances #evfra

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bunny-wan-kenobi · 6 years

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Bunny Fic Recs: The Top Ten Strikes Back!

My friends think my fanfic-reading habits are hilarious and bizarre--and I tend to agree. I read stories in very distinct and obsessive phases, like if I’m in a Star Trek phase I literally cannot bring myself to read a story from a different fandom. Can’t do it--that’s just how it is. My fic-craving phases (there’s no way to put this that won’t make it sound like a drug habit) can be as short as 2 weeks (sorry @ginny-of-course) and as long as 5 months (aka my last Star Wars phase).

This means any fic rec summary will reflect my fandom phases of that year, which is kind of a fun way to see all the twists and turns my journey took me and the characters I discovered (and rediscovered). So, in no particular order, here’s the top ten fanfics I read this year!

1. Bargaining by proantagonist (Thor): Faced with an eternity without his brother, Loki strikes a bargain to change the past. Post TDW. (Complete)

This story is AMAZING. Not only does it contain some of the best characterizations of Thor, Loki, and Odin that I’ve read, it deftly examines their relationships in all their complexity and contradictions. The relationship between Thor and Loki is captured beautifully and simultaneously heartwarming and tragic. The way Loki grows over time and learns trial by trial is especially rewarding so that every big choice he makes had me fist-pumping in pride because the story builds up these twists so well. Every single detail matters, and this story gave me so many things I never knew I wanted from a Thor story. I thought I had the fic figured out, and then the ending completely shocked me in the best possible way. I cried so many times reading this story, and its insight into Loki’s headspace and the dysfunction of family relationships is remarkable.

2. too wise to peaceable woo by theMightyPen (LOTR): Most marriages in Gondor are matters of convenience, especially among the nobility. But Dol Amroth is a different sort of place, with a different sort of royal family. Sometimes, Lothiriel is not convinced this is a good thing.(or, how in Middle Earth the too southern, too dark, too outspoken daughter of Imrahil ended up married to Éomer, son of Éomund) (WIP)

I could write an essay about everything I love about this story. Not only does it make a compelling, lovable heroine out of a character I had not given much to previously (Lothiriel), but it tackles race, class, and inter-cultural issues in Middle Earth with incredible nuance and emotional depth. The slow-burn love story at its center is developed organically and complements the exploration of family and friend relationships and world-building for Rohan culture. I appreciate so many intentional elements--like the friendship between Eowyn and Lothiriel, the complex politics of countries still recovering from war, and a woman of color coming into her own as a leader. The Rohan the author paints is a breathing place vivid in detail, and even the OCs are easy to love and root for. A truly wonderful love story woven into an intricate cultural landscape, this fic puts me on the edge of my seat waiting for updates.

3. The Gentlest Schism by SanwichesYumYum (GOT): Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth. The war is over. Some of them hadn’t thought that they would outlive it. And yet... (WIP but ends at a satisfactory point)

This is a rare story that goes against your expectations and makes you linger in the disappointments and losses along with the characters. The premise is heartbreaking, and becomes even more tragic as you keep reading, but at the same time, it’s a beautiful testament to the resilience of love and the importance of family. I love the community the author cultivates on Tarth, the unexpected characters they weave in, and how this little island becomes an entire functional and complex world of its own. The second half of the fic gets a little repetitive occasionally and there is some explicit content, but it’s a really compelling read and one of my favorite Jaime/Brienne stories.

4. The Days and Steps series by CatKing_Catkin (Thor): Even after everything, Thor holds out hope that his brother can be redeemed. Now that he's away from the Chitauri, his mind is fully his own again. Not that he's home, even as a prisoner, maybe he can start to remember what it's like to have a family and a place to belong. Maybe he can even come to truly understand the other worlds as something other than a conqueror. (Complete)

After reading the last story in this series, I wept like a baby. These stories trace Loki’s excruciatingly slow healing process in such a realistic and moving way that the ending feels so, so earned. Again, it’s the family dynamics that shine here, in particular, a family actually processing and dealing with the ways they’ve hurt each other and the mistakes they’ve made. The realizations strike deep and the characterizations are rich so you become fully invested in this family’s journey.

5. Captains and Pawns by sian22 (LOTR): "The board is set and the pieces are moving." So Gandalf said, but what unseen hand made them move? How far back did the game start and with what unexpected results? The Lords of Gondor and Rohan find Saruman will use them for his own end and both the Steward's sons and Rohan's Prince and Lady must find their way. A tale from Faramir's birth until the fateful kiss. (Complete)

If you’re a Faramir fan, this story is for you. It’s a fascinating character-driven story that fleshes out a lot of the subtext in the events before and during the War of the Ring. It moves the narrative from Gondor to Rohan and we follow Faramir, Eowyn, and Eomer from childhood to adulthood, reminding us of the cost of war and also deepening your love for these characters.

6. Ad Infinitum by Stormontheocean (Dragon Age): After a bus accident, Liz wakes up in Haven, stuck in the fictional world of Dragon Age. How does a modern girl get by when she can't speak the language, and her expansive knowledge of the Blight and Kirkwall, but limited knowledge of Inquisition would only make her look more suspicious? Fake being deaf and mute, and hope not to get caught before she can find proof of her origin. But the best laid plans never work out as expected... (WIP)

Okay, I’m usually wary of self-insert fics, but this one put ALL my doubts to rest. It works. It really does, and it manages to make the OC main character (the stumbling block of many a writer) a completely three-dimensional and lovable addition to an existing universe. The first big plot turn of the story made me so unbelievably gleeful and excited that I won’t spoil it here but let me say--the story does not turn out in the way you expect. Even the slow-burn romance is believably developed, and this story cemented my love for Bull’s Chargers. A stand-out AU fic that is just plain enjoyable to read.

7. Jacob and Esau Say Their Goodbyes by LadyCharity (Thor): After Svartalfheim, Loki is still alive. In the end, it changes nothing.In which Thor hurts, Loki loves, and Jane learns how to lie. (Complete)

Let me emphasize that this was a near-impossible choice to make. I love every single one of LadyCharity’s Thor fics, but I decided to go with the one I think excels at every level. It’s emotionally devastating, poignant, and with brilliant characterization. I appreciate how succinct, poetic, and introspective the author’s prose is, and she just gets these characters and their relationships. Shout-out for her great development for Jane as well, who all too often gets overlooked in fanfic.

8. A Wreath of Thorns by LadyNormaOfTheWesterlands (GOT): In the aftermath of the Battle of the Bastards and the destruction of the Great Sept in King's Landing, new allegiances are forged and family ties will be tested, as two Queens dance around a blood-dripping throne and a new King rises in the North. The day of reckoning is getting closer, for princes and commoners, for friend and foe, while cold winds bring the longest of winters, and, with it, an enemy who doesn't respond to honour, nor love. Post-Season 6. (WIP)

There’s a lot to love in this understated story, which captures the POV of multiple GOT characters as events hurtle towards an inevitable culmination. It’s an introspective story, almost meditative in nature, and everyone is perfectly IC. It’s tragic, inspiring, and ultimately a great tribute to these characters.

9. The Native by StarTrekFanWriter (Star Trek): The relationship that started it all - Sarek/Amanda. How a logical guy like Sarek fell for a human, and why he would defy his people to marry her. Sybock & Spock will be featured. (Complete)

The beginning of 2017 was my introduction to Sarek/Amanda fic, and this was one of the standouts. I’m a sucker for stories that navigate the cultural differences, tensions, and development of interracial relationships, and this one does a great job immersing you in Vulcan culture. Amanda is also a really wonderful character, strong, empathetic, intelligent and you can definitely see why she and Sarek are so well-matched.

10. The Abduction of Eomer, King of Rohan and House of Sun by Lialathuveri (LOTR) (Complete)

Okay I kinda cheated here but I honestly could not choose between these. I like them for completely different reasons: The first fic is a hilarious series of misadventures that bring Lothiriel and Eomer together and the second is a much more serious development of a love story after an arranged marriage. The world-building in both stories is well-realized, and Lothiriel is simply a delightful character that I will read in ANY iteration.

More Bunny Fic Recs:

My Top 10

The Next Top 10

Game of Thrones

Merlin

Makorra

LOTR/The Hobbit

Captain Swan

Star Wars: Romance One-shots

Star Wars: Gen One-shots

Star Wars: PT Multi-Chapter Fics

Star Wars: OT Multi-Chapter Fics

#fic recs #thor #loki #got #lord of the rings #dragon age #jaime x brienne #star trek #bunny posts

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yume-x-hanabi · 4 years

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Gaius Comparisons #5

@goldenangelwings it’s been a while, but I’m back with comparisons! Hopefully I can finish everything this year XD Previous entries.

Scenes analyzed here: Jude Side scenes, from their encounter in Fennmont to catty schoolgirls.

(After beating the Exodus soldier)

Gaius: So you survived after all.

Jude: Gaius!

Gaius: Throw him in a cell. These people are with me.

Exodus Soldier: Stop it! Let me go!

Rashugal Soldier: Come quietly or else!

Exodus Soldier: All of Elympios will die at this rate! What did we do to deserve this?!

Jude: Gilland said the same thing.

Leia: Wow, Gaius! When did you start ordering around Rashugal troops?

Gaius: Everyone in Rashugal succumbed to terror and panic after Nachtigal's death. [“The citizens and soldiers”] I led them from the chaos. [“I simply led them” LIKE IT’S NO BIG DEAL]

Teepo: Wow, that's some trick! [“That’s exactly what’s impressive!”]

Rowen: What exactly are you doing here in Fennmont?

Gaius: We are working with the Rashugal military to salvage the Lance of Kresnik from the bottom of the ocean.

Jude: Why? What do you want with the Lance now?

Gaius: Exodus may be gone, but it's unlikely they've abandoned their Otherworld Reactor Plan. I will put a stop to it. And you? What of your plans? [“I will stop the ORP. Exodus may be gone, but I doubt the plan itself is gone.” Same thing, just wording order.]

Jude: We want to talk with Muzét.

Gaius: Why come find me? [“Muzét?”]

Leia: [“Yes.”] We heard you've been fighting her, so we figured you might know something.

Auj Oule Troop: Your Highness, we're ready to set sail. [not important, but he calls him “Gaius-sama” here rather than “heika” like they usually do. Interesting detail.]

Gaius: Good. Come to the seahaven.

Jude: How come? [“But I…”]

Gaius: Come with me, and you may get your chance to see Muzét.

Rowen: We should join him.

Jude: Okay.

Commentary: not many changes here, mainly wording.

Wingul: His Highness is already aboard. We will depart soon.

Elize: Excuse me.

Wingul: I presume you wish to ask about Jiao.

Elize: Yes. Do you know why he protected me during the battle?

Wingul: Perhaps he sought to make amends for his past crimes.

Elize: But he ended up dying as a result. [“Make… amends…?”]

Wingul: There are some who believe that nothing is more important than survival. But priorities change. Life starts to lose purpose when you've gone astray. Sometimes the only means to make amends for one's actions in life is to die. [“But that’s just one point of view. People can only live in society. In that case, sometimes you need to make amends, even in death.”]

Jude: ...

Elize: I don't really understand.

Wingul: Nor should you. You should focus instead on enjoying what you have. [“That’s why you should live as a child for now.”]

Elize: How do I do that? [“As a child?”]

Wingul: That's for you to find out. Jiao's greatest wish was for you to find happiness in life. [“Jiao’s greatest wish was for you to find childish happiness.” Aka for her to enjoy her childhood] Of that I am certain.

Elize: Okay. I'll find a way. [“As a child, right. I’ll think about it.”]

Wingul: That will put Jiao at peace.

Rowen: If I may. [”Wingul.”]

Wingul: Full of questions today, aren't we? Let me guess. Is it about His Highness? [He doesn’t say the italicized line.]

Rowen: What are Gaius' plans for Rieze Maxia?

Wingul: No doubt His Highness will one day unite this world. [”Rieze Maxia”] That should tell you what you want to know.

Rowen: Thank you for your time.

Leia: What is it? [“Rowen?”]

Rowen: It’s nothing. Shall we move onward?

Commentary: Wingul is so gentle here with Elize ;A; This really speaks about his relationship with Jiao (especially when you know everything that happened between them). The reasoning is a bit hard to translate nicely in English, which is why I can see why the translators altered it a bit.

Originally it’s not really about Jiao going astray and death being the only way to make amends. What he’s alluding to here is that for a long time Jiao lived isolated, uncaring about other people, but “people can only live in society,” meaning that that lifestyle isn’t sustainable in the long run, you need to make connections with people. And that sometimes means making amends for your wrongdoings. Important distinction, but originally Wingul doesn’t say that “death is the only way to make amends,” just that making amends was so important to Jiao that he’d die for it. It’s not that he was fated to die for redemption, just that, in that particular moment, he chose to give his life to make amends, because it was more important to him than his survival. That kinda echoes what Milla did, in a way, and what the other Chimeriad will do later. The reasons are different than Jiao, but they all chose death because they had something more important to them than their own survival.

Then he talks about Elize living “as a child,” which is the best I’ve come up with but the concept is kinda hard to translate in that context. Basically what he means is that Jiao wanted her to have a “normal” happy childhood (bc he robbed her of it), and so she shouldn’t worry about all that and just focus on her own childish happiness while she still can. That’s a concept that comes up again during her scene with Alvin, though there again her lines are changed a bit and kinda remove the “as a child” part.

Gaius: I see. All that time, she was just bait.

Jude: That's why I want to meet the real Maxwell. To find out the truth.

Gaius: He'd most likely reside in the spirit realm.

Leia: But, does such a place even exist? [“I’ve heard about it. That’s the world where spirits live.”]

Rowen: And even if it did, we have no means of getting there. [“However, no one has ever found such a place.”]

Wingul: Indeed, it's little more than a legend. But we know for a fact that spirits exist. So it follows that they must reside somewhere. Likewise, a path to their realm must also exist.

Teepo: Hey, what about Nia Khera? Don't they call that place the village of the spirits?

Gaius: You have a point. [“Yes.”] It lies near a mountain known as the Hallowmont. Perhaps you might find a clue there. [“It wouldn’t surprise me if there was something there.”] [Note: In Japanese, the Hallowmont is 霊山 – lit. “spirit mountain” ... the way it’s worded makes it sound like it’s just a type of mountain, not a unique “The Hallowmont,” if that makes sense.]

Leia: Well, what are we waiting for? Let's check it out! [“Really?!”]

Wingul: Don't get too excited. [“Wait.”] This ship isn't turning around before we reach the Lance of Kresnik.

Leia: Really? Come on, who cares about that stupid Lance?

Rowen: Gaius, earlier you spoke of stopping the Otherworld Reactor Plan. I suspect you're planning to invade Elympios using the Lance of Kresnik.

Gaius: It is for the good of Rieze Maxia.

Jude: Hold on. You would need massive amounts of mana to use the Lance.

Gaius: I understand. [”Of course,”] I do not wish to sacrifice humans or spirits.

Elize: Then... maybe we don't have to use it. [“You’re not sure about it, are you? Then…”]

Gaius: The reality is, someone must.

Jude: Are you trying to finish what Milla started? [“Gaius... You want to protect her spirit too?” (spirit as in, what she wanted, what she tried to accomplish)]

Gaius: I never put it into that perspective, but inevitably yes, that is what I'm doing. [”That might be the case... No, it is.”] No one has ever made such a strong impression on me. [“No woman”]

Jude: Then we also need to consider the fate of Elympios!

Wingul: You're worried about them? At a time like this? They were willing to sacrifice every human and spirit life in Rieze Maxia! [“When Rieze Maxia’s humans and spirits are at risk of being sacrificed?!” English line is in past tense, referring to what happened before. Japanese line is about a future threat. (voice acting note: he sounds rly offended here XD)]

Jude: Why does one side have to suffer for the sake of the other? That doesn't sit well with me. It wouldn't sit well with her, either. [“It’s not about sacrificing one side for the other... That’s what she would say.” (voice acting note: the second line is barely audible in Japanese, he’s whispering softly)] She would destroy the schism and save everyone. [No “she would” in Japanese] That's what I want to do.

Gaius: I'm surprised to hear such words from you. [“You…”]

Wingul: …

Gaius: Are you trying to repay her for what she's done for you? [“~protecting you with her life”]

Jude: Yes.

Gaius: You've grown strong. [”You’ve changed.”] Jude, join me and–

Wingul: Your Highness, we've nearly arrived. The salvage operation needs your attention. [”Please get ready.”]

Gaius: *side eye* ...Very well.

Jude: Gaius?

Commentary: Someone is jealous XD

/shipper goggles on/ “No one has ever made such a strong impression” very literally is “no woman’s existence has ever been so significant to me”. The fact he’s precising it’s a “woman” and not just a “person” could imply that there is a “man” whose existence is quite significant to him already 8) /shipper goggles off/

(Post Muzét fight)

Leia: Phew! It’s a good thing we didn’t try tackling her on our own.

Jude: Muzét, why are you doing this?

Muzét: Why? All I am doing is— All I’m trying to do is protect Rieze Maxia! That’s what!

Jude: I mean… [He doesn’t say anything here, he just gasps.] How does what you're doing protect Rieze Maxia? [”What does ‘protect Rieze Maxia’ mean to you?”]

Muzét: How am I supposed to know?!

Gaius: So you are acting under order.

Jude: Please, you have to tell us. [Muzét, tell us.] Where is Maxwell? We need to know. [he doesn’t say that last line]

Muzét: What do you people want with Lord Maxwell?

Wingul: So, there is another Maxwell after all.

Leia: Muzét! This can't be what Maxwell really wants, can it?

Muzét: Of course it can! Lord Maxwell, is this not your divine will? Lord Maxwell! Please! Command me to smite these humans!

Elize: What is happening to her?

Rowen: I do not know.

Gaius: Wingul, come, follow me! [Literally, either “Let’s go” or “I’m going” depending on context. In English his longer line causes Wingul to speak at the same time (rude!)]

Wingul: Yes, sir!

Jude: Gaius, no! [just “Gaius!”]

Wingul: After His Highness! Send word to the Chimeriad!

Commentary: Where were you hiding that wyvern Gaius?

srsly he’s so badass here *insert more wishes for a Gaius side*

Leia: Where are Gaius and Muzét?

Jude: You sure this is the right place?

Rowen: What?

Elize: Why?

Teepo: What's the big idea, featherneck?! [“black-clad guy”]

Jude: Are you going to tell us why you're doing this?

Wingul: Because it's dangerous.

Jude: What is? Us?

Wingul: No, Jude. You.

Leia: Why would you say that? [“Jude?”]

Rowen: Having Jude meet Maxwell may impede on Gaius' progress. Is that what you believe? [“You don’t want Jude meeting Maxwell, is that it?”]

Wingul: ... [voice acting note: in English it sounds like an annoyed “rrrhhh”, in Japanese it’s a smug/amused “hmph”]

Jude: You think I would get in Gaius' way?

Wingul: Don't let them escape.

Soldier: Now, please come quietly.

Jude: …

[Rowen, Elize and Leia beat up the soldiers]

Jude: Wait, really? [“Elize, Leia!?”]

Rowen: Now, let us find Gaius!

Leia: But where’d he go?

Rowen: One place comes to mind.

Elize: The Nia Khera Hallowmont! [”Nia Khera’s hallowmont” again a wording that seems to show “hallowmont” is just a type of mountain and not just this place’s name]

Rowen: Yes. Precisely. [“We have to bet on that.”]

Jude: Come on, guys. I wouldn’t mind a heads-up next time you plan a rescue. What? I’m not a mind reader! [“Guys… Let’s coordinate better if we’re gonna do it. What? I’m the one in the wrong?!”]

Commentary: Wingul couldn’t have believed this would be sufficient to stop them, could he? Is it possible he’s not completely serious about stopping them there because he knows that’s not what Gaius’d want?

(skit: The Hand of Gaius)

Teepo: I can't believe he turned on us! [“tried to arrest us”] Stupid featherneck! [“black-clad guy”]

Leia: He really caught us off-guard. [“He never lets up.”]

Elize: Why would he do that after he told me about Jiao?

Rowen: When Wingul makes a decision like that, he's thinking only of King Gaius. He would do anything, and stop at nothing, for the good of his king. [“even eliminate any potential obstacle”]

Leia: Ugh. He must really look up to Gaius. [love. LOVE!]

Rowen: I think it's more complicated than that.

Elize: Gaius and Wingul aren't friends?

Rowen: They are friends. They share the same ideals, and they walk the same path. Which is what makes it so complex. They are close friends, and yet at the same time, fierce rivals.

Teepo: What does that mean? I don't get it!

Elize: Leia, do you understand?

Leia: Not really. I guess it's like the dude version of being a catty schoolgirl? [“a maiden’s heart”]

Rowen: Heh. That's... Well... That's surprisingly accurate, actually. [“That might fit, surprisingly.”]

Commentary: Look I know that Leia was joking, but come on translators, couldn’t you have at least given us this? Besides, “look up” sounds really weak for a remark following “he would do anything for him.” Why are they so intent on changing every “suki” into “respect” in this game? They did it with Milla too...

#tales of xillia #king gaius #gaius scenes comparison

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avelera · 7 years

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Maggie analyzes Voltron Season 3, episode 1...

Including analysis of Prince Lotor’s introduction:

So far this episode’s opening is a bit heavy on the exposition and telegraphing of what everyone has been doing and thinking since Shiro went missing. There’s also been a couple of awkward transitions of dialogue like “oh, btw, how is that main plotline going??” non-sequiturs when random people ask why the paladins can’t perform their emotional plotline - which is form Voltron/find Shiro.

That being said, I’m actually overall ok with all that. It really is the difference between adult and children’s programming where we need to be a lot clearer about what everyone is thinking and feeling, in my writing class it was basically summarized as the need to use “signposts” more in children’s fiction to guide the audience through what they’re supposed to be thinking and feeling about all this. This is in contrast to adult programming, which puts a greater emphasis on allowing the adult viewer to draw their own conclusions when presented with the more subtle actions and thoughts of the characters.

That being said, this is also a first episode of a new season, which means they need to catch people up after several months away, and get everyone up to speed as quickly as possible. I’ve seen shows for adults that were far more awkward at the start of a new season when it comes to the reminder info-dumps. So actually Voltron is doing a very good job given its constraints.

What got me thinking about this was the “palace intrigue” scene where Galra Whathisname “He clearly isn’t going to matter because his character design isn’t interesting or distinct enough” decides to have a “secret” meeting in a public stadium to solicit his fellow officers to join him in a coup. The dialogue is painfully on the nose as he lays out a children’s version of a palace political plot, but because I eat plotlines like this up with a spoon and some whipped cream it was actually instructive to see how a children’s show introduces the idea of complex political backstabbing by having the characters be as blunt about their intentions as possible.

That conversation also gave an interesting, if blatant, opportunity for an info dump about Prince Lotor. Lotor has been a subject of controversy since he was announced, since there’s such a broad range of possibilities on the kind of person he could be. He could be even more evil than Zarkon, a sort of Ramsay Bolton of sadism, or he could be a total good guy who instantly aligns with everything the Paladin good guys believe (the latter seeming less likely since it prevents us from having a character arc). Every shade of gray in between was possible, and the fandom tied itself into knots with speculation.

During the Palace Intrigue dialogue we learned a lot of details very quickly:

- Lotor is a political outlier - specifically, he stands at odds with the more warlike and conservative Galra planning this coup. He has liberal views of racial purity which are not limited to pureblood Galra, and often allows planets to rule themselves. So, he’s being set up to be a good guy, or at least a lighter shade of gray.

Every since the Blade of Marmora was introduced, a lot of things have started to make sense in the VLD universe. Like with Avatar: the Last Airbender’s Fire Nation, we have an “evil” nation that has taken over a diverse world. However, since the bad guys aren’t zombies or otherwise mindless monsters, we probably can’t commit genocide in a children’s show in order to get rid of them all and free the universe. Which means there must be good Galra out there to whom the good guys can hand over the original Galra territories after the other worlds are freed. The Blade of Marmora was our first hint of this sort of schism existing within the Galra Empire which allows for a happy ending with Good Galra ruling. It adds a shade of complexity to the Galra which is an opportunity for drama - they must fight enemies from within as well as the paladins.

- Lotor is a half-breed, but most Galra don’t know this.

Lotor was a half-breed in the original Voltron show, and that’s hinted at with the note that his closest officers are also half-breeds. So, it’s likely he is as well, but this fact is hidden. This likely means Haggar is in fact his mother, and since her true origin as Altean is hidden, Lotor’s must be as well (which also, interestingly, means Galra and Alteans can interbreed).

This also sets up Lotor to be Keith’s foil, at least for a time. Without Shiro, Keith has clearly been set up as the show’s main character, which means the new introduction of a villain is going to be someone who opposes him but also mirrors him. In my opinion, Lotor is being set up as more of a “Zuko” villain, he’s going to fight the Paladins but mostly because he’s been told to and as he gets to know them better their differences will decline until, most likely, he ends up as an ally or at least a sympathetic enemy. Which brings me to the next observation:

- Lotor presents himself as honorable and representing the best qualities of the martial Galra culture.

Lotor is a fighter. In his display in the stadium, he announced himself as someone who won’t stab you in the back, but he will cleverly stab you in the front. He doesn’t just confront Galra Whatshisname about his intended coup in private, even though he he already knew about it, and instead challenged him in a public place in a way designed to win the crowd and loyalty. So, Lotor’s a tactician of the mind as well as of warfare. We know he’s a warrior, he wants to expand the Empire but he does so in a way that lets people rule themselves, implying that he sees this manner as more efficient anyway (whether or not he sees it as morally better).

So he’s presenting himself as someone who holds to the original “values” of the Galra Empire, its raison d’etre, which have since been corrupted by absolute dominance and power. The Galra couldn’t have expanded as far as they did if they didn’t at least seem like the good guys at first, which means they had a national myth they told themselves and their subjects about how their Empire spreading was a good thing, and I think Lotor buys into that mindset and still operates with it, even as many more jaded and cynical Galra including Zarkon are really just about the power and have no altruistic beliefs in their Empire anymore.

Edit: Ok I had to edit this a bit after finishing the episode. Lotor probably has a cynical view of the original Empire’s expansion. So, he may on some level believe that loyalty is a better way to expand the empire, but he may just see that as efficiency too. Either way, for practical reasons he’s a more reasonable despot than Zarkon, which is at least a little bit of an improvement?

So basically: Lotor is everything a Good Imperial Galra can be at this stage of the show. He’s still opposed to the Paladins because he’s still a wiling agent of the Empire’s expansion, but he can mostly likely be talked down from this eventually, unlike Zarkon. He’s probably being set up to rule the “Good” Galra Empire in the future OR to be the Black Paladin, albeit temporarily. He’s clever and devious too, which is something of a gray virtue, but at the moment he’s using it to defeat the REAL bad guys which are Galra hardliners, so I’d still say he’s set up to be a Good Imperial Galra, even if he is somewhat two-faced.

Lotor’s speech confirms pretty much his entire worldview: being overly aggressive is a weakness that is costing the Empire. This is his character’s opening mission statement - it allows him to be an adversary without being a monster. He’s still an aristocrat though, he has benefited from the system, and he speaks in elevated tones. He’s clever and devious, not above manipulating public opinion through grandstanding and we’re not entirely sure yet what his deeply held beliefs are.

Actually, he could just as easily be the foil to Allura, he talks like her and looks quite a bit like her too. He’s clearly inherited some of the Altean skill at diplomacy, which he uses to blindside his more blunt Galra political enemies. An interesting and formidable combination of skills.

However, he’s not naive, he doesn’t keep potential traitors around. So, he’s clever, devious, and two-faced. He’s got some things to learn to be a good guy.

His followers are good guys:

- They have a cat - pets are quick visual shorthand that people are good guys in any fiction medium.

- They’re half-breeds, which means they’re probably not Galra hardliners.

- They’re women! Honestly, they’re the first women we’ve seen on the Galra side besides Haggar. Which implies that Galra don’t have their own women, maybe? All the women are half-breeds? I’m not sure but it’s something I’ll keep an eye out for.

A couple final notes:

- I was totally wrong. I thought the Galra Keith fought was his own mother, but I guess people were right that it really was Lotor. Damn I hate being wrong.

- I expect a ton of Keith/Lotor stuff guys. He’s giving off a serious Sesshomaru vibe, he’s going to be shipped with everyone.

- If they don’t put Allura in the Black Lion I’m going to be seriously peeved.

#maggie watches voltron #voltron spoilers #voltron #season 3

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snicketstrange · 5 years

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Understanding the Schisms

This text is necessary to understand the theoretical basis for the hypothesis I call "A Brief History of VFD"

There have been several schisms in VFD, and I would like to explain what happened in two, as well as their motivations, and what changed in VFD because of these Schisms.

I call these two schisms the Great VFD Schism and the Olaf Schism. About the Great VFD Schism Kit explained in TPP chapter 2: "I was four years old when everything changed. Our organization shattered, and it was as if the world shattered, too, and one by one the safe places were destroyed. "

Something that marked the time of the Great Schism was the kidnapping of children. Dewey explained:

"Before the schism," Dewey said, "VFD was like a public library. Anyone could join us having access to all of the information we'd acquired. Volunteers all over the globe were reading each other's research, learning from each other's observations, and borrowing each other's books. For a while it seemed as if we might keep the whole world safe, secure, and smart. " "It must have been a wonderful time," Klaus said. "I scarcely remember it," Dewey said. "I was four years old when the schism began ... But one night, just as our parents were hanging balloons for our fifth birthday party, my brothers and I were taken." "Taken where?" Violet asked. "Taken by whom?" Sunny asked "I admire your curiosity," Dewey said. "The woman who took me said that one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways. And she took me to a place high in the mountains, where she said such things would be encouraged. " Klaus opened his commonplace book and began to take furious notes. "The headquarters," Klaus said, "in the Valley of Four Drafts." "Your parents must have missed you," Violet said. "They perished that very night," Dewey said, "in a terrible fire. I don't have to tell you how badly I felt when I learned the news."

What can we conclude from this dialogue? Dewey was already a member of VFD when he was 4 years old. Dewey was taken by the VFD fire extinguisher side as he was taken to VFD headquarters. Still, Dewey's parents were killed that night. Before you think the fire fighting side was responsible for the fire that killed his parents, remember that Ernest Denouement is recognized as a member of the arsonist side of VFD. This is a strong indication that the incendiary side was at the Denouement brothers' house that same night, and set the house on fire, and stayed with Ernest.

This means that by the time Lemony was taking VFD classes, the Great Schism had already happened. Similarly, when Lemony was in SBTS the Great Schism had already happened. Something important to understanding the Great Schism is to understand that from the Great Schism, VFD stopped tattooing on the ankles of its members.

Capítulo 12 da LSTUA: 3. Do I have to get a tatto? Not anymore. Since the schism, we have realized that it is not wise to permanently mark oneself with a symbol when the meaning of the symbol change at any moment.

This means that all characters who were already part of VFD before the Great Schism have a tattoo. But characters who entered VFD after the Great Schism do not have a tattoo. It is also important to understand that the VFD before the Great Schism had members on both sides of the Schism. So it is to be expected that some horrible things done by VFD members before the Great Schism were done because these VFD members were not noble people. An example of this is child labor. The bearded but hairless woman explained in TSS chapter 6:

'The woman with hair but no beard nodded. "Infant servants are so troublesome," she said. "I had an infant servant once – a long time ago, before the schism." "Before the schism?" Olaf said, and Sunny wished Klaus were with her, because the baby did not know what the word "schism" meant. "That is a long time ago. That infant must be all grown up by now." '

t is likely that the Schism to which the sinister woman spoke is the Great VFD Schism. That means she had been putting young children to work since that time. Does this mean that before the Great Schism, babies were kidnapped from their parents to be part of VFD against parental consent? Apparently so. That's what we learned the litte snicket lad song. This song portrays something that happened before the VFD Great Schism, after all it talks about tattooing the VFD symbol on little Snicket's ankles.

Notice the excerpt from the song in chapter 1 of LSTUA:

"When we grab you by the ankles, WHERE OUR MARK IS TO BE MADE, You'll soon be doing noble work, Although you won't be paid. When we drive away in secret, You'll be a volunteer, So don't scream when we take you: The world is quiet here."

However, even after the Great Schism, the fire-fighting side continued to carry children. The difference was that there was parental permission, and the child needed to show interest in being taken, especially if the child was orphaned.

See chapter 12 of LSTUA for this.

However, even after the Great Schism, the noble side of VFD continued to practice taking children around their ankles. This practice hurt the children's ankles a little. However, they no longer got the tattoo. We realize this from Miss K's account, and from R's letter to Lemony in chapter 2 of LSTUA.

As I explained, Miss K, who was at Prufrock Prep after the publication of some of ASOUE's books, was until Prufrock Prep recruited students. She followed the instructions described in chapter 12 of LSTUA. She impersonated a teacher, and presented a list of books to young people who might be members of VFD one day. Since there were orphans, she could make more direct contact with them, and did not need parental permission to capture these orphans for VFD. He just needed the permission of the children to be kidnapped. Here is a description of what she did: LSTUA chapter 8: "When I informed Ms K of my decision, she behaved exactly like any improper teacher and immediately kidnapped two children, holding them by the ankles as she ran the front lawn .. They were two replacement orphans for those three Baudelaire brats ... " Evidently this happened many years after the Great Schism, and the fire-extinguishing side kept kidnapping children by the ankle. And that's what R wrote in her letter to Lemony: LSTUA chapter 2: "It seems to me, my dear frient, thet one moment you are becoming friends in the infirmary, telling each other stories to distract us from the pain in our ankles ...Beatrice, Bertrand and Esme certainly do not have tattoos. This means that at the time of the Great Schism, they were not yet members of VFD, even though they were born. Both new VFD members and old members who had been taken to VFD before the Schism but were still children needed training. Therefore, all together were sent to the training, to be inserted in society in the most different functions. Olaf was among those brought in from the old VFD, as were Lemony, Kit, and Jacques.But before we can explain Olaf's Schism, we need to know what motivated this Great Schism. I can say that there is textual evidence to indicate that at least one of the motives of the Great Schism was the use or otherwise of violence by VFD. Olaf explained: "No," Count Olaf said, with a frown. "If you were to wash the clay of Ishmael's feet, you'd see he has the same tattoo as I do. " "Eyeliner?" Guessed Madame Nordoff. "No," Count Olaf said sharply. "The difference is that Ishmael is unarmed. He abandoned his weapons long ago, during the V.F.D. schism, refusing to use violence of any sort."

Understanding this gives more significance to the end of ATWQ Book 4. At that time, Lemony was in a VFD that refused to use violence of any kind, and yet Lemony did what he did.

The other event called the Schism was caused by Count Olaf at the time of Lemony's marriage cancellation. It was at the time of this ICsma that the VFD animals were kidnapped.

TSS Chapter 13: "Look at these creatures!" cried the woman with hair but no beard. "When the schism occurred, you may have won the carrier crows, volunteers, and you may have won the trained reptiles. " "Not anymore," Count Olaf said. "All of the reptiles except one -" "Don't interrupt," the sinister woman interrupted. "You may have the carrier crows but we have the two most powerful mammals in the world to our bidding - the lions and eagles! "

We know this Schism is not the Great Schism because Beatrice and Bertrand trained lions (TBB rare Edition), and Lemony remembers the eagles used to detect fires, em TSS chapter 8:

“I once chopped broccoli while the woman I loved mixed up a spicy peanut sauce to go with it, and he was pointing up towards the sky, where my associates and I used to watch the volunteer eagles who could spot smoke from a very great distance”

Jacques explained that VFD also called Olaf-related events a Schism.

LSTUA chapter 7

... recently this organization has experienced a Schism, a word wich here means "a member suddenly behaving in a greedy and and violent manne and thus dividing the organization into two arguing groups. The member I am speaking of - I will just call O... - has recently done a great deal of vicius, unfair, and impolite acts that I shudder to describe.

In the future I will explain in more detail about Olaf's Schism, why I will write a text about Olaf's origin.

#ASOUE #asoue theory #asoue theories #lemony snicket: the unauthorized Autobiography #Lemony Snicket #VFD

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elclest · 7 years

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Below the cut is some very important meta pertaining to Violet’s main verse, much of this is based off of conspiarcies from @snicketsleuth, and also insane conversations between @eyedisguised and myself (and now @thousandseye thanks jan), if we’re roleplay partners please read this !! and feel free to discuss w/ me tyty. <3

please note: a lot of this is gonna be hard to follow if u haven’t read the books. also this is basically a stream of consciences IE a complete fuckin mess so if u get confused at any point hmu !!

( this post has been edited from when it was on my other blog so plz give it a quick reread !!!! )

For timelines sake we are assuming, here, that violet was born in august of 1960. If you wanna know the reasons for that hit me a message. I know it’s hard to tell what the fuck time period dani/el hand/ler placed ASOUE in so !!

actually wait one more thing before I begin: I WILL NOT BE TALKING ABOUT THE MATTER OF VIOLETS PATERNITY IN THIS. Daniel leaves that entire thing SUPER vague and while Violets conception coincides w/ the time that Beatrice and Lemony broke things off, it is also still entirely possible that she is Bertrand’s. Plus leaving it vague means that I get to have more fun. ; ))))

LMAO BINTCH NAW I HAVE BEEN KEPT AWAKE FOR LIKE A WEEK NO THINKING ABT WHO VIOLET’S DADDY IS WE ABOUT TO GET INTO IT FOLKS HOLD ON TIGHT.

ANYWHO.

UNKNOWN TIME B4 VIOLET’S BIRTH: The Baudelaire parents, with the help of Kit Snicket, murder Count Olaf’s parents in a plot to get his money.

In Snicket’s prequel series to ASOUE (ATWQ) it seems that Lemony, Beatrice, and several other young VFD members are very intent on changing the nature of the VFD. One can assume that to do this, they need a fair amount of money that is their own ( here meaning, out of the VFD’s reach ) , and did so by killing Olaf’s parents who we can assume, are well off. Honestly Imma just link you guys to this snicket sleuth article bc it explains it better and in full detail and I’m lazy.

SEPTEMBER 1960: Violet Baudelaire is born almost immediately after Beatrice and Bertrand are banned from the island. She is conceived nine months prior, INCREDIBLY close to around the time Lem and Beatrice broke it off and emotions where high if you get what im implying if not ur too young chip go home

Violets childhood is very vague. She doesn’t remember much before Klaus was born and it seems there’s still more she doesn’t remember after that. What she does remember is a nursery rhyme. She recalls it as Row Row Row Your Boat. However she also recalls her parents singing something with “The World Is Quiet Here” in it. She also claims that the name “snicket” is familiar to her in The Penultimate Peril. After closely reading Lemony Snicket’s Unauthorized Biography we find that she is actually recalling the same song, as the sheet music that Lemony provides to his editor is written to the melody of “row row row..” [ SNICKETSLEUTH, 2 ]

“though they lived in a big mansion, down robber road a tad, it was at the farm the lady bore the little snicket lad. […] so don’t scream when we take you: the world is quiet here.” [THE LITTLE SNICKET LAD - LEMONY SNICKET’S UN-AUTHORIZED AUTOBIOGRAPHY, PP. 9-19]

IMPORTANT NOTE: neither Klaus nor Sunny seem to remember this song, so I’m going to assume here that it was only sung to Violet.

This next part is all shitthaticameupwith™

SO. Let’s talk about the VFD’s whole mentor/pupil thing they got going on. It’s canon that they take talented children from a very young age and recruit them into the cult organization. We know this from Snicket’s “autobiography” where he provides pictures of him as a toddler and claims that shortly after that picture he was taken by his ankles from the kitchen (just as his siblings were) and recruited.

Now, with a schism in the midsts it’s fair to assume that both sides would be recruiting members as heavily as possible. They are essentially at war with one another at this point and need as many “soldiers” as they can get.

1964

Enter Violet Baudelaire, age 4, who exhibits extreme skill in inventing from a very young age. Enter Violet Baudelaire who the VFD suspect might be Violet SNICKET which would be insanely important to them as the snicket’s have made some of the best VFD members yet and would put high value on keeping that bloodline in the organization

With the schism, the broken memories, and the cloudy memories of VFD references ( which again, were not made to Sunny and Klaus, and seemingly stopped after Klaus’ birth – along with the parents adamancy in keeping the VFD a secret from the kids ). I’m going to make the assumption that at some point, when Violet was just a toddler, the VFD tried to take her.

Cue traumatic event, cue Violet forgetting shit,

cue the Baudelaire parents realizing that they don’t want their children to have anything to do with this organization. After all, they did consider having Violet on the island to shield her from the worlds treachery, and only left because they were kicked off.

So why would the Baudelaire’s continue to have children? Well my theory is fairly simple. Beatrice was most likely already pregnant with Klaus at the time, and Sunny was an accident (sorry sunny, u were a happy accident i promise Violet loves u).

BACK TO THE KIDNAPPING. So now not only do the Baudelaire parents want to keep any knowledge of the VFD from their children, they also start concocting a plan (with the help of who I can only presume is the Quagmires), to get a blank slate – to start over somewhere far away from the VFD’s grasp. And how exactly do they do this?

With Olaf’s fortune that was split between themselves and the Snickets.

1974

The plans are finally ready to come to fruition, the Baudelaire parents are ready to flee. However, upon finding that their friend and partner in crime Kit Snicket is pregnant, they offer to include her in the plan, assuming she would want her child to stay away from the VFD in the same manner they do. However, Kit being an EXTREMELY loyal VFD member, betrays them to the organization. (perhaps this is why the children are sent to the beach ?? So B&B can meet with Kit, whom they were also keeping a secret from the children.)

*casually winks at @thousandseye from this point forward u kno y*

the VFD ( probably possibly even Kit herself tbh ), in response to this, burns down the baudelaire mansion. Killing Bertrand, and later Beatrice at the Masquerade. Knowing full well they can blame these fires on the fire-starting side of the organization, namely Olaf.

NOTE: I will, of course, discuss this headcanon with any Kit’s I interact with, and leave it up to them if they wish to include it in their portrayal or not. If they don’t I will disregard it as it could have been anybody – ( maybe even the Quagmires in hopes of securing their children’s safety ?? ) who betrayed them.

LE FIN

post note: I realize that these theories will undoubtedly have holes in them, but this is what makes the most sense to me and my portrayal of Violet. If you have any questions/comments/concerns PLEASE !! TALK !! TO ME !! remember that none of this necessarily has to come up in our threads unless you want it to, it can go completely IGNORED as she has no knowledge of any of this, but it does affect the way she thinks and acts, and I figured I would throw it out there incase anyone wanted to use it as a basis for plotting.

thank u and i hope u enjoyed this dissertation on Veronica Bloodyliar.

#✧*∙ ❛ THERES ALWAYS SOMETHING // ch. study

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lex-munro · 7 years

Text

[Fateverse] Consult

against his better judgment, the Savant goes to see the Old Man.

warnings: Fateverse (dimension-hoppy sci-fi), mad scientist(s). language: pg-13 (primetime tv plus s***).

pairing: some background Doctor(s)/Jack Harkness.

timeline: perhaps a day or two after A Quick Jaunt.

disclaimer: marvel and the BBC own all recognizable characters (forgot, Jack Carter belongs to NBC/Universal).

notes: 1) it was Ashildr/Lady Me who gave the Founder the idea of keeping a diary, because holy cow thousands of years of memories. 2) in Robot of Sherwood (episode 803 of New Who), Clara asks Robin Hood why he’s sad. when he retorts “why do you think me sad?” she replies that he laughs too much. 3) you may recall that the Senior Warder at the Null-Resonance Detention Facility is a version of Eureka’s Sheriff Jack Carter. 4) "never eat pears--they’re too squishy, and they always make your chin wet.” 5) the Doctor nicknamed ‘biceps with the crooked teeth’ would be played by Tom Hardy. 6) rampant Doctor Who references, too many to point out here. 7) ‘looming’ is one of the processes by which Time Lords are born/made, and ‘relooming’ is one of the terms used to refer to the way Rassilon was resurrected to rule Gallifrey again; presumably it would be possible to recreate most Time Lords in a similar fashion. 8) EMF = electromagnetic frequency(ies). 9) TMS = timestream monitoring simulation. 10) i have no idea what a chronometric parsec is, but i’ve been assured that since the Founder has called photons a special case of chronitons/time particles, it would make sense to measure interdimensional distance with similar terms to what we use for light distance. 11) "flying the V” is the Brit equivalent of giving someone the finger (hold the hand with the index and middle finger extended in a V shape and the palm facing you). 12) “tinned” = “canned.”

Consult

When he first sentenced himself to life in the Null-Resonance Detention Facility, the Founder took to writing things down.

He got the idea…oh, ages ago. Centuries. Lifetimes upon lifetimes.

There is one crucial difference between him and the person who inspired him to write it all out: she wrote to remember, while he writes to forget.

If he’s written it down, he has permission to forget. It’s all there, brown ink on vellum, just in case. In case it’s needed. One of the Sherlocks down the way does it all mentally, locking up vaults inside his ‘mind palace’—it’s easier for Sherlock, of course, having only been alive for forty years before his incarceration.

Whereas the Founder…

The Doctors are a bit like clowns in that respect: funny and terrifying at the same time. They look like something they’re not (well, sometimes they are), like harmless humans with disarming, sad old smiles. Scarves and velvet frock-coats and Robin Hood laughter.

He’s had so many faces, lived so many lives. He’s seen the birth of his universe and its death.

He has filled (so far) eight hundred million rather generous pages with rather small script, and he’s only up to Cheeky Sand-Shoes. There’s still another few centuries of him, and then there’s old Chinny who died at Christmas, and the Independent State of Eyebrows…

Or no. No, those belonged to someone else, some other Doctor.

Occasionally, his prolonged exposure to the Untempered Schism leaves him with an overload of details. Resonant echoes. Things that never happened to him that could have happened but at the same time couldn’t.

All the more reason to chronicle his own life, the better to sort memories from visions. The memories are over and done, useless except as parables, but the visions help him keep a hand on the rudder.

And Martha, being clever, simply refilled my glass. When we tired of silly pink drinks and singing flowers, we

“Sir.”

The Founder pauses. He looks at the door of his cell.

The Senior Warder looks back at him apologetically. “I hate to interrupt when you’re writing, but we just got a Priority Order.”

The Founder marks his place and reaches for his jumper (a gift from Sarah Jane when his re-used sixth face nearly ran out into the snow without a coat). “From the Sysadmin?”

“No, ah…from the Savant, apparently?” Jack looks confused and uncomfortable. “I don’t exactly—I didn’t know he could do that.”

“All department heads can, and, evidently, so can the nearest thing the Theory department has to a department head.”

“It won’t be cold; you’re just coming to one of the nullres conference rooms.”

“Always bring a jumper, Mister Carter,” the Founder says with sage wisdom (painstakingly gleaned from seeing all of Time, even the sideways bits where he never stole a TARDIS or where he stayed on Gallifrey after the Time War). “And never eat pears.”

In the conference room, two more Doctors are waiting: a weary, white-haired Doctor of War and one of the faces the Founder never personally wore (Biceps with the Crooked Teeth; they haven’t got one in min-sec, so he must have been thawed for this).

“And that’s why they’re going to put you in a big black box,” Biceps is saying. “That’s why whole religious orders set out to kill you. You and your meddling. You know, you make quite a good Dalek, Doctor.”

“Oh, what would you know,” scoffs the old man. “I imagine a strapping young lad like you has already forgotten the Time War.”

“If I can remember the Cloister War, what makes you think—”

“Gentlemen,” Jack says. “The Savant will be arriving any minute, and he’s not a pleasant person on a good day, so it might be best to set things aside and stay on topic…”

“Meddling,” mutters Biceps. “And where does that get you, eh? Water on Mars, that’s where.”

“I haven’t even the faintest idea what you’re babbling about,” says War in a lofty tone. “It’s all nonsense to me, being as our very presence here negates the possibility of my following your timeline. Save it for Cableknit over there; he and self-flagellation are dear friends. Do stop your verbal thrashing-about, hm?”

“I’ll show you thrashing, you murderous old—”

“Do you ever wonder why there are no Claras here?” the Founder asks.

War gives a bemused frown, but Biceps goes all pale and pinched.

“Martha and Mickey were too human for it. So were the Ponds, and Danny, and Jo, and Alistair. Sarah Jane could’ve ended up here, if not for that boring husband. So many Jacks…Rivers, Jamies, Aces, Fitzes…even a couple of Donnas and a Rose. Clara could’ve done it. She was an excellent Doctor once, after all.”

“Good at it, was she?” War muses.

“Goodness has nothing to do with it,” Biceps and the Founder chorus.

“Well, then I suppose I’m glad I got out when I did.”

“How many faces have you had, old man?” Biceps asks him with deep suspicion.

“Mine, or other people’s?” the Founder teases.

“Don’t be a twat.”

“Such language. Fourteen faces. Plus repeats. You?”

“Eighteen. And repeats.”

“And I’m the abomination,” snorts War.

“No, Eyebrows in the Fridge is an abomination,” corrects the Founder. “Bugs Bunny and I got our extra regenerations as gifts and fair compensation, but The Tyrant stole his. That’s why he’s called ‘The Tyrant.’”

“Meddle once and you’ll want to meddle more,” cautions Biceps. “Poke a hole in time to save a girl because you’re afraid you can’t do without her, and then it doesn’t seem like such a stretch to poke another and save a woman with an unhealthy attachment to hallucinogenic lipstick, and then who’d even know if you destroyed New York City to keep your family whole? Who’d notice if you blew open the walls of reality to have a cheeky little blonde on your arm? If you killed Davros before he’d ever dreamt of the Daleks? If you destroyed Rassilon’s imprint so that he could never be resurrected, never look into the Untempered Schism, never send a message of four maddening drumbeats? Where does it end, Doctor?”

“It would’ve ended with the Moment,” War says, calm and unrepentant. “I hope I never live long enough to get as greedy as you; I’d have been quite satisfied with just that. I could’ve endured a great many losses after destroying every last trace of the Time War.”

“No, Doctor,” the Founder tells him. “You would have tried, and it would have been an admirable effort, but you would eventually have failed. If you had used the Moment, it would have killed you, and your next regeneration would have been born in anger. You would have been a ruthless thing, pragmatic and without compassion. You would have been Rassilon reborn, reshaping Time as you saw fit. All those wonderful, fallible people you could have loved in another life would instead be swept aside or cast down, punished at the first step that faltered. Like children being beaten for wetting the bed.”

Rheumy eyes focus on withered hands. “I suppose we’re all where we belong, then,” War murmurs.

“He’s coming. You should sit down.”

The moment they’re all three placidly seated, the Savant strides through the door.

“Hello, Doctors,” he says. “I need you to take a look at some data and answer some questions about it.”

“No,” says Biceps.

The Savant is not impressed. “The fuck you say?”

“Well, it’s a bit unfair, innit? I mean, what do we get out of it? Chuckles here is up for commutation with good behaviour in a century, but the Geezer’s got a life sentence and I’m not even eligible for parole for another three hundred years.”

“You’re talking to a guy who erases universes for a living,” snorts the Savant. “I kill smiling little kids for the good of the Timestream as a whole, so if you think you’re gonna get a single proton of sympathy from me, you can go right back on ice to contemplate your dead wife. Haven’t you heard? There are no Oswalds here: nobody’s coming to save you.”

“We have questions of our own,” Biceps says unperturbedly.

“Let’s take turns,” suggests the Founder.

The Savant looks at them, one at a time—possibly gauging their intentions or their knowledge. “You three stooges get to take your turn together, then.”

“Excellent, us first,” says Biceps.

“Thrill me.”

“What do you want from us?”

“I need you to take a look at some data and answer some questions about it,” the Savant drawls pedantically. “My turn: you had a chance to go back to the Library and retrieve River’s imprint for relooming, so why didn’t you?”

“Hadn’t thought of an excuse to get into the looming chambers before my arrest. Why these three Doctors in particular?”

The Savant points to the Founder, then Biceps, then War. “He’s wise, you’re clever, he has no patience for bullshit.” He sets down a portable projector, and data begins scrolling past.

Brainwaves. Resonance. Time travel. Sort of like inter-dimensional telepathy.

“Do you understand what you’re looking at?”

“Yes,” they all answer together.

“Mostly,” War admits. “Can I have visitors?”

“Yes.”

“Be specific, dammit!”

The Savant snorts. “Then you should’ve been more specific. We know several ways to trigger an outbound transmission, but we don’t know what triggers the return trip—any ideas?”

“Yes,” War replies snidely. “Can I see my family?”

“If they want to see you, sure. Do you think EMF could have something to do with it, since it’s being relayed through some half-baked electronics?”

“Possible,” says Biceps. “Could—”

“How far away is the destination?” the Founder interrupts. “When calculated in terms of timeline co-similarity proximity, not when calculated by TMS software.”

The Savant pauses, takes a pencil out of his pocket, and starts writing on the table. “Three chronometric parsecs, less than one chronometric parsec, five point eight chronometric parsecs. At first glance, it suggests a correlation to the subjective duration of the jump. Transmission lag, perhaps. Could the return be automatic?”

“Dunno, sample size is insufficient. Can the three of us examine the subject?”

“That’s a negative, Ghost Rider.”

“Why?” the three Doctors ask together.

“Wait your turn, assholes. Why wouldn’t the transmission cause damage to the receiving brains, even though it’s powerful enough to give the subject full control?”

“Insufficient data,” says Biceps.

“Why can’t we examine the subject?” asks War. “We would learn so much more.”

“I’d have to have my fucking brain amputated to think it was a good idea to set loose three Doctors guilty of crimes against the Timestream.”

“Rather uncalled for,” snorts War as Biceps flies the V at the Savant.

The Founder watches the Savant. He can’t read the man’s thoughts, of course—even at the height of his telepathic abilities, it would be like trying to read a thousand-page book where each word changed just before he read it.

But he’s had thousands of years to learn how to read people without the use of telepathy.

“You don’t like doctors,” he decides. “Not just Doctors with a capital letter…actual medical-degree-bearing doctors of any sort. That must be hard luck on your Proctor.”

A muscle moves in the Savant’s jaw. He breaks the Founder’s gaze, scoops up his projector. “We’re done here,” he mutters, and sweeps toward the door.

“Don’t worry,” replies the Founder. “We keep better than tinned tomatoes.”

After the briefest pause, the man is gone.

“He’ll be back,” snorts War.

“Might not be us, next time,” says Biceps.

War scoffs. “What’s he going to do? Catch one of us in the wild?”

The Founder smiles a little. “Wouldn’t that be a funny chapter in my books?”

.End.

#genfic #sci-fi #fateverse #doctor who #AU doctors #crossovers #fanfic

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