#no energy or motivation whatsoever to do anything

[cryptidssss]

Today is one of those days when I feel like going back to being a brain in a jar. That's it, that's the mood.

[mcnuggyy]

phew so glad I cut my hair, I’ve been feeling so much better gender wise :o) <3

[bunnihearted]

.

[ivesambrose]

𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 🎐

1. 2. 3.

You're meant to receive this message.

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at Ivesambrose@gmail.com

Personal Readings

Masterpost

Thank you for the tip! 🌹

Picture 1

You're focused on the materialistic aspects of your life currently. You could be the sole provider when it comes to yourself as well as your family. You'll gain an unexpected source of income or a boost in your income which will help you in either - buying a new house, redecorating your house to your liking, paying off any bills or any domestic related matters, any debt whatsoever. You may have to deal with certain paperwork or administrative work for some things but this will go smoothly even if it seems stressful initially.

Be mindful of how much toil and labour you're putting into things. This may have been your go to when it comes to earning revenue, studying/grades, getting something that you want etc but this route will no longer work for you since you're unable to enjoy the fruits of your labour properly. You have to act smart and Intuitively aswell as change your dominant mindset/dominant state when it comes to this. Sometimes the hardest work you'll have to do is simply put in effort to change your mindset.

You have high expectations for yourself and a refined taste. You want luxury in your life now, you'll have this too. As your expectations in yourself has risen so has your expectations when it comes to relationships romantic or otherwise. The bare minimum simply isn't cutting it anymore. You'll have what you want. You'll connect with new people and have the romance you've been dreaming of.

Some of you might buy a vintage car or it could be significant. You may also meet someone while travelling. This individual would really want to spoil you and be there for you emotionally even if you're used to handling things by yourself.

You'll have a better grip on your life in the sense it won't feel like it's passing you by and you can't even enjoy it.

For now invest in some cooling mud masks or sheet masks and skincare with ceramides. You need some soothing and maybe even a deep tissue massage. If you can't afford that at the moment you can always look up lymphatic draining massages on YouTube. Additionally, don't sleep on your communication, writing, self expression and persuasion skills.

Significant timings: January and May

Picture 2

You're concerned with a few people in your life. Their opinions, their projections, approval etc to some of you this could be an older male or maybe a boss. On top of that concern you have so much on your plate that it feels overwhelming, it isn't even something you enjoy. However, there are many things that you do enjoy and want to cherish but don't know when, where and how to even start.

You have been compromising yourself and your peace for so long you've lost your sleep in the process or are having sleep related issues. You're apprehensive most of the times. Some of you I'm seeing have bursts of energy where you take all of your pent up emotions mostly anger and sorrow peppered with motivation, joy and hope and get things done and once that burst of energy is gone you feel empty again. You feel as though you'll be punished if you choose yourself, that someone has a knife to your back.

Good news is although you feel as though you're stuck between two choices, you will inevitably choose the one that rejuvenates you.

It'll feel as though you have been swipping dirt for so long and someone finally offers you a glass of chilled water. The wise thing to do then would be to drop the broom and take that glass. Take the emotionally fulfilling new beginning that's been offered to you. Whether it be in a form of a new relationship, new career, new path, anything. You deserve it.

You'll be nurturing yourself a lot more and likely pick up a new hobby that makes you happy.

Some of you could get into content creation or modelling or cooking/baking, even fitness and nutrition.

You'll gain recognition and success. It will happen.

This will attract some side eyes from people who have a stubborn mindset and want to control you cuz they have no control over their lives. It doesn't matter.

I see you putting firmer boundaries and basking in your rewards. A lot of you might also quit a 9-5 and start working from home. You might also switch to a better house/apartment/location.

What's coming into your life is a lot of luck, sucess and attention which in turn will boost your confidence as well as charisma. Remember to count your blessings then and extend gratitude to the ones who have stuck by you. Albiet very few but very honest individuals. This newfound confidence will take you to places. Have faith.

Significant timings: Libra season (things are getting balanced behind the scenes and justice is being served), Taurus season (specifically) and January.

Picture 3

You'll be glad that you walked away and you walked far. You'll have the answers you have been seeking. You are indeed being guided by a higher force even if that is your own soul.

You do tend to knowingly or unknowingly block your own blessings. It's high time you stop doing that just because things aren't currently making sense and you can't see the intricacies. You're supposed to look at the bigger picture and stop dimming your own light.

The lesson here is to stop being so afraid of your blessings just because you assume that something bad is going to happen. Life is happening for you.

Additionally you'll have a closure in regards to something that you had almost achieved in the past but lost due to whatever reason. But you'll realize that it doesn't matter anymore because there are indeed better achievements ahead. Your whole idea of what you once wanted will change so if anything leaves your life abruptly it's for the best, it was meant to be that way. It has served it's purpose.

You no longer have to mourn your losses.

But you'll have a lot to celebrate and you won't be alone.

Some of you might leave your hometown or start over in regards to something. You feel very left out in your current place but this will change.

You have likely endured a lot and forgot about the gifts you posses. Either someone or you will remind yourself of that. There are many promising connections ahead and existence is not supposed to be so dire.

In the past if you've felt your pantry has lacked food or you have lacked resources of any kind, you'll be blessed with an abundance of it.

Be mindful of the world you have build within your mind, the one around you will eventually reflect it back.

Significant timings: Coming 5 weeks, November and January. (Will speed up if you stick to your vision)

[mageknight14]

What It Means to be Friends: The Differences between Neku/Beat and Rindo/Fret 

I’m feeling in the mood for another TWEWY analysis post and for today’s topic of discussion, this will be centered around Beat and Neku’s friendship in comparison to Rindo and Fret’s own and how they contrast in very interesting ways that are reflective of their respective game's writing styles.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Neku and Beat didn’t exactly get off to the best start in the beginning of their relationship in the original. Hell, if anything, they flat out disliked each other. Beat saw Neku as nothing more than an emotionally distant asshole who made his little sister feel bad for trying to help him out and Neku saw Beat as nothing more than an overly emotional idiot who’s way too energetic for his own good and initially wants nothing to do with him.

There are little cracks that start to form in the walls between them, however, where their respective duos start coming together to help each other out in the Game and they start to form a little friendly rivalry between them. Mostly on Beat’s side since Neku could care less. However, that bit of bonding gets interrupted by a cruel twist of fate: Rhyme’s sacrifice and subsequent erasure. In which Beat, in a mix of grief and desperation to save his little sister, begs to and subsequently joins the Reapers, much to Neku and Shiki’s shock.

And then, Kitaniji asks Beat to do one task to show his dedication to the Reaper cause: kill Neku! (and Joshua). Initially, Beat tries to draw upon his dislike of Neku from the start of the game to motivate himself into completing his task but he just can’t go through with it no matter what, a feeling that only gets worse when Neku gives him Rhyme’s pendant that he dropped, thus invalidating Beat's previous resentment towards him. Seeing Neku go out of his way to return something precious to Beat even after he had antagonized him throughout the week causes Beat to drop his animosity completely and the next time we see him, he’s rescuing Neku from a unwinnable scenario by becoming his partner in Week 3.

From then on, we see Neku and Beat’s dynamic start to become more whole, opening up to each other more and helping the other through their struggles and ultimately culminating with them becoming genuine friends by the end. By the time W3 starts, they’re the only actual Players left in the Game, in the middle of a life-or-death situation, AND have the entirety of the UG after them due to Kitaniji activating Emergency Call. With circumstances like those, it’s no wonder they become as thick as thieves. Beat relies on Neku to help keep his head on straight and set him on the right path so that his temper and rash personality doesn’t end up screwing them over when things get rough, something Beat can't afford whatsoever when it comes to his mission of trying to save Rhyme.

Likewise, Neku relies on Beat to help keep his feet moving instead of allowing him to wallow in his own head when aspects such as Hanekoma potentially becoming the Composer becomes emotionally and be strong enough to catch him when he stumbles and falls. On top of that, he also trusts Beat’s emotional intelligence and honesty in matters such as when Beat convinces him to spare Uzuki and Kariya.

You see this dynamic persist in NEO as well even after all of the time they spent separated, in which Beat is heavily implied to have physically searched for Neku throughout all of Shibuya (remind you of anything?) and even take up some of his aspects, like the headphones, to honor his friend. And considering how Neku has helped him save his little sister and supported him when the chips were down, it's honestly no wonder.

Beat even flat out admits to Nagi that he was in some measure putting up a front to mask his fears and doubts and is quite calmer when Neku is around compared to NEO’s weeks 1-2. Not that his hot-blooded energy is gone but he notably isn’t as prone towards picking fights or shouting. Meanwhile, Neku is out of the loop after having been away for three years but Beat is again there to pick him up where he falters and help guide him around. The two of them are best friends through and through.

By contrast, we have Rindo and Fret, whose dynamic is quite different from Neku and Beat’s but is nonetheless just as well-written. I think the start of the game does an excellent job at setting up their relationship, where their early dynamic is fully on display in which Fret drags Rindo around and Rindo just casually goes with it despite internally bitching and moaning along the way. Like Beat and Neku, their friendship is mutually beneficial towards the other but in a much more casual and "shallow" way that’s very interesting.

They both want to be around one another in order to cover up for each other’s faults and their flaws feed into a loop that prevents the friendship advancing so that they don’t have to try but when it actually comes under serious strain, the flaws are exposed. Rindo being closed-off and content with just letting things stay on the surface level is perfect for Fret since he doesn't need to address his true feelings whatsoever and also fulfills his desire for someone to talk to because Fret is a pretty social guy and the class clown, letting him ignore his own problems. For Rindo, Fret allows him to also fulfill his desire for social companionship while not digging too deep and delude himself into thinking he’s autonomous and avoid the hurdles that comes with decision-making, which Fret is aware of and fine with because he’s more of a follower. The restaurant choice at the beginning of the game is a perfect example of this. At first glance, you think it’s just Rindo making a choice until you realize that it’s mainly Fret narrowing down the choices for Rindo without his input and he’s perfectly okay with that.

You also see this pop up again when Fret makes Rindo the leader of the group ALSO without his input so that he doesn’t have to get emotionally invested in the role and put the spotlight on himself. And initially, both are content with this and continue this dynamic throughout the first week of the Game, that is until shit hits the fan in Week 2. With the stakes becoming far more apparent and serious than they initially thought, and having to start another Game after getting cheated out of their victory, along with Sho just flat out ditching them and leaving the team to fend for themselves, tensions start to rise high between Rindo and Fret, which this ends up putting a strain on their relationship and we see the flaws in the friendship get exposed.

They start becoming more casually dismissive of each other’s interests whereas before they were just cool with whatever with Rindo not giving any regard to Fret’s interest in fashion and Fret mocking Rindo’s friendship with Swallow out of frustration, where Fret is pushing for Rindo to do anything regarding them considering Swallow's obvious involvement in the Game, and Rindo doesn’t want them to get upset so he pushes the issue away for later. Whereas Rindo is getting frustrated with Fret's self-defeatist attitude while not doing anything to help out with the situation that they're in, thus having them go back-and-forth and arguing with one another.

What makes this hit harder in hindsight is that this aspect was always apparent when you look back at the beginning. They bicker, like, a lot and the most noticeable example in W1 is the Nagi argument, where Rindo doesn’t see how she can help, worried about being held down by strangers, while Fret pushes for recruiting her, worried about having to handle a tougher burden on his own.

The part where they were in the ramen shop at the start of the game also does a good job at setting up this kind of relationship. Fret didn't know that Rindo played FanGO or was friends with Swallow, which heavily implies that they don't know that much about each other before entering the Game and later on, you see how Rindo constantly keeps Fret at arm’s length and opens up mainly to Swallow while Fret didn’t even talk to Rindo about his best friend that committed suicide. And in Week 2, these aspects become far more pronounced and the two become far more prone to taking passive-aggressive shots towards one another, culminating in their argument at the end of W2D4. I think what Rindo says to Fret in particular here is pretty telling of how he doesn't think that Fret is taking the situation seriously in spite of him actually showing otherwise what with his constant prodding. It's also hilariously indicative of Rindo's hypocrisy considering how he's constantly relying on others' input before making any actual decisions on his own, such as with Swallow in the very next scene and the day after.

However, despite all of this, they still do genuinely care for each other. Rindo’s first use of Replay was spurred on via wanting to save Fret from getting flattened by a truck and Fret is always pushing Rindo towards becoming more and more decisive in small ways. Most notably, when everyone except for Rindo gets erased by Soul Pulvis and he’s the only one to make it back to the UG, who’s the first one he calls out and tries to look for? Fret.

I’ve seen some people complain about how Rindo and Fret’s friendship doesn’t feel especially deep when compared to some of the other relationships in the series when I’d argue that’s the entire point. They’re not childhood friends who know every single thing about each other from the start unlike some JRPGs out there or a duo who starts off hating one another before gradually becoming closer to one another due to the stakes of the situation they’re in. They’re really casual school friends who keep each other at arms’ length out of an attempt to keep themselves protected. Their relationship is interesting to analyze because it's layered, much like a real friendship would be, due to them dealing with their own personal issues. And yet it never feels like one can just call it shallow or deep and have either be a definite despcriptor, just a well developed bond. Fret is still reeling from his previous best friend’s suicide and Rindo has social anxiety out the ass so their bond makes perfect sense.

And on top of that, they do gradually become closer to one another. Fret starts taking Rindo’s interests more seriously, even becoming disgusted at Motoi on Rindo’s behalf and sad for him as well as showing understanding to him concerning his Swallow situation.

And Rindo starts taking Fret more seriously as a person, with W3D3 being a prime example. He brings up the possibility that Kanon is acting strangely and might be possessed, brings up calm, rational points that the others have no choice but to agree to and doesn’t try to force Fret to keep his feelings for her down, rationalizing that there might just be another way to save her and assuring him that it’s ultimately Fret’s choice because he respects his input. And when Fret shows up anyway to try and save Kanon, he doesn't hesitate to support his buddy in his endeavors and does his damndest to help. On top of that, he becomes far more supportive towards Fret’s interests, particularly with EleStra, and is happy for him.

I think that shift from the ingenuine to genuine is what NEO excels at with its character relationships and by the end, you can really see Rindo and Fret really coming together as friends that genuinely respect and trust one another.

Neku and Beat’s friendship is much more bombastic and in-your-face while Rindo’s and Fret’s friendship relies on the more little details and I think both work well for their respective game and themes. You have the story of a distant and hostile kid having developed into a more personable young man using his lessons to relate with a seemingly gruff and bullheaded guy only to find a shockingly self aware young man who hates himself and lost his only support become more sure of himself vs. the story of two seemingly close friends grinding against each other due to their underlying issues surfacing, deepening their bond through their honesty and growing self-awareness. The first is more conventionally written while the second is a bit more subtle and requires deeper inspection in order to get the full picture.

[lovelykhaleesiii]

I quit…

okay now that I have your attention, I just want to quickly say that I am very aware that I have been radio silent on tumblr and to be frank, disinterested in the fandom to say the least. I have no motivation to write whatsoever, and I sincerely apologise to those who’ve written and sent in a request to me.

If I am being honest, I do not think I will get around to them all. I have no energy, and have other personal stuff going on. And I’m just enjoying my life as much as I can day by day.

this blog is meant to be an escape for me, where I can bond with others & lately I consider it more as an obligation than a hobby. having time to think and reconsider, this should not be the case at all.

this fandom has also been a little isolating recently, whether others have too, lost interest or simply wish to not interact with me, it is what it is.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. please support your writers and artists. a big part as to why I lost motivation to write is because I felt no one connected with my work nor was satisfied with my work. It felt like no one was anticipating anything from me, and it is a gutting feeling. I write for myself, most importantly, but I can’t deny that I also get the thrill to write out of the enjoyment of others. so please… show your admiration and thanks to writers, by a comment or reblog or message… it goes an incredibly long way, and might just be that spark that ignites a dying passion.

so I can’t guarantee when I will write again… I had intentionally planned to these few days off that I had, and was burdening myself to publish something, but alas. I have not.

I want to write, but for the time being I am struggling.

sending my love to wherever you are.

- Hel ❣️

[bottlecapsandotherthings]

I Am Done Now.

Why does it have to be like this? I am so tired, and I feel like sleeping forever sometimes. I see no point in even doing school assignments anymore, and I might just wanna drop out and lay in bed and do nothing.... for the rest of my life. And the worst part is, I feel so selfish for feeling like this.

I obviously cannot motivate myself by thinking of someone I love. Maybe my care for everyone I love is not strong enough, and that really hurts to think about. No matter how many times I make promises to myself, swear and beg and vow to keep going, it only lasts for a few hours. And then I go back to feeling unmotivated and drained again, with no energy whatsoever.

That is the reason for all of the vent posting that I have been doing lately, because this is so hard to deal with. I have no idea how to truly motivate myself, and this is a constant internal struggle. I am so tired of giving up and feeling unmotivated and hopeless, yet I am so tired of trying so many times yet failing every single one of them. And I am so confused, because I know that I want to live my dream someday, but I am too tired and have no motivation to make it happen.

Maybe my emotions are just too numbed down to care about anything. I obviously have a useless dream if I can never make it come true. People do not need someone like me "helping" them. They need someone who has a purpose and never gives up.... and that person can never be me.

[ato-catto]

can I get more piccolo x reader I love him so so sm

Of course! Sorry this took so long ...

Here's a little one shot I had been saving.

Piccolo eyed you with palpable annoyance. Your form had been off all day and your technique sloppy. Your mind was clearly elsewhere and otherwise engaged- not that you would ever admit it.

He stopped mid spar and shook his head in dissapointment, folding his burly arms over his chest. "You aren't thinking before you strike." He grunted, his dark pupils investigating you from head to toe.

You felt slightly offended- but he was right. You weren't thinking out your attacks whatsoever. Your mind was.... otherwise engaged.

See, since become a Z fighter (and therefore Piccolo's pupil), you had gotten to spend more time with him than you ever had before in your entire life. And the longer you spent with him, the more you couldn't seem to breathe the same air as him. Your heart would pound when he touched you during spars, and your brain felt dizzy whenever you finally did get a hit, and he bared those pearly white fangs in determination and pain.

Safe to say, you had developed a crush on your mentor. And now whenever he was near you, you couldn't think straight at ALL.

Piccolo grunted, turning away from you. "If you're going to be like this then quit wasting my time. Go home and sort out whatever going on in your head and come back to me with a clear mind. Got it!?"

"Sorry, Master Piccolo." You sigh, pushing hair out of your eyes. "I just.. I have alot on my mind."

Yeah, you did. Him.

He looked at you with sceptical eyes and folded his arms across his impressive chest. He wasn't exactly buying your weak excuse. "Nice try, but I've seen you be less sloppy the day before a big interview. It's either something really big or you're just plain lazy today."

Ouch. "No, I swear. I'm just sidetracked today." Your ears began to get hot, so you turned away.

He sighed and scrunched up his nose, and looked at you tiredly. He had been picking up on your cues and basic body language all day. "Are you uncomfortable around me? Is that it?"

You blinked. WAAA? H-how did he? No- surely he hadn't picked up on your feelings?

"No." You said, smoothing back your hair and looking out into the open sky. "Not at all. I like being around you."

"If you like someone enough it gets uncomfortable. I may not be human but I know what infatuation looks like." He wasn't making eye contact, and that was making this situation so much worse.

Taking a few steps back, you looked at his towering form with your heart in your throat. Was it really that obvious? "I'm sorry, Piccolo. I.. " You began winding up for a lengthy friendship saving explanation, but he silenced you by turning to face you.

"It's natural." He said, his voice surprisingly monotone. "If anything, it's just an obstacle to furthering your strength and power."

You lowered your head. "I'm sorry-"

He grunted and smirked. "Don't be. I can use that silly human emotion as motivation for you, and help you excel even further, instead."

You blinked, and stared at him. The mischievous look in his eyes was almost scary. "What do you mean?"

"Land 5 hits, you get a kiss. Land 10, I'll go out with you wherever you want. A date, I think humans call it."

Your jaw hit the floor. That devious little-

"Alright. Okay." You breathed, straightening up and sinking into your fighting stance. You were more determined than ever now. You at least wanted a little kiss - you had been dreaming about it for weeks now.

Piccolo grinned menacingly and put up a guard, watching you as you renewed you energy and focus into pummelling him with hard hits.

It took you almost 15 minutes, and you were dripping with sweat, but soon you had counted five blows. You skidded back, panting. "There! Five! You owe me, Piccolo!"

He chuckled and wiped purple blood from his lip. "I suppose I do."

As he approached, his bravado seemed to drop as his ears flushed a lilac tone. His dark pupils softened as he gently and slowly tilted your chin up with his fingers. You watched him swallow, and you could've sworn it was just your hammering heart you could hear.

He slowly brought his face to yours, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. It had the metallic tang of blood mixed in it.

You were caught off guard a few seconds later when Piccolo totally lost control, throwing the wall he had built around himself aside and giving in to the feelings he himself had been feeling for months. He grunted softly and laced a hand into your hair, probing your mouth with his devious purple tongue, making you gasp and whine in surprise. Past the taste of blood, his saliva tasted sweet, and his lips were soft.

Your body felt like it was vibrating, his energy coursing into you, around your nerves and back to your lips and into him. You gripped at his gi, trying to kiss back with a matched energy, but he was overpowering you, his fangs nipping at your bottom lip and making you wince in delicious pain.

Piccolo pulled away, panting, his bottom lip wet with your saliva. "Th-there." He grunted. "You got your kiss. Now get back up. I'm not done with you."

You got into your stance again, your knees weak and eyes hazy. "I'm going for 10 this time." You muttered.

He pursed his lips, his cheeks and ears a deep purple. "You better."

[talesfromtheunknowable]

Blep.

SAME PErSON AS @anulithots <-- talesfromtheunknowable is VERY inactive, @anulithots is my active fandom and writeblr blog

Welcome, fellow creature of nonsense. I write stories to make sense of reality, but as of now, all of them are in their "a full fleshed idea in my head but not a ton actually written and maybe the thing I'm betting my entire life on is not justifying the responsibilities I've avoided...."

Anywho. Any feedback or ideas are very much appreciated. My motivation is never consistent, but my need for validation very much is.

My name's Noorie and I'm closeted genderfluid and aspec. (Queer platonic) Pronouns - they/them/it/its/anything fancy and ridculous-still looking for something that feels right. Some random nonsense that doesn't belong on my other blogs mostly, along with the occasional witchcraft from the baby-est of witches.

_______________________________________

The Land of the Fallen Fairies.

A nature-themed commentary on the pursuit of happiness and fixing yourself to deserve that happiness, told by an overthinking, unreliable, houseplant narrator.

Zine

TW: self-hatred, suicidal thoughts, and self-deprecation.

This Slice of nonsense - Originally a Land of the Fallen Fairies blog, with the occasional rottmnt. This has evolved into 'rottmnt superfan makes an AU and 100+ posts with three followers (one of them being my sibling) and goes insane.' /pos.

Tales from the unknown - I needed motivation for school. Therefore a teddy bear uses statistics and probability to fight nightmares based on quantum mechanics

The librarian from the Writeblr Library, all my writing and marketing rants are on there

---

also also, I learn either with a hyperfixated frenzy, where I'm hopping back and forth between different resources and story-fying it in my head, or with learning little things and getting better at that before learning the next thing, I do get overwhelmed when there is no structure whatsoever though, so for witchy things, I'll be doing it like that. <3

witchy youtube channels

HOW TO BEAT EXUATIVE DYSFUNCTION TO TAKE CARE OF PLANTS

Beginner practices for grounding and energies and suches and suches

Orchids

migraines

pictures

learning things

breath

crows

[sleepysnk]

a/n: hi guys! after a while, i’ve decided to update the beach!! this chapter really kicks some things off, so i hope you guys enjoy! :) thank you all for your patience 🤍.

pairings: obito uchiha x fem!reader

warnings: modern au, college au, angst, mentions of jealousy if you squint, mentions of violence (not towards reader), mentions of alcohol/alcohol consumption, some brief fluff.

The Beach: Chapter Twenty-Eight

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter | Masterlist

The weekend came within the blink of an eye. You didn’t even realize it was Saturday afternoon until you noticed the date on your phone screen. Did everything really happen almost five days ago? It didn’t feel real at all, and you still were in such disbelief that it was almost sickening.

You hadn’t left your apartment in days. The old habits you tried so hard to retire had come back like a bus had hit you. It didn’t feel good whatsoever, and you had so much self-loathe for yourself. You were beyond pissed at yourself for letting things get this bad again. It was almost as if all of your hard work was for nothing. You spent so much time trying to dig yourself out of a hole that drained you all of the time. 

Now, here you were, back in that hole again. 

You could hardly think properly without Rin’s words repeating inside of your head. It attacked you whenever you were alone with your thoughts. You couldn’t believe Obito had said those things about you. It completely destroyed your self image, and you could barely look at yourself without feeling nauseous.

Konan tried her absolute best to be a good friend to you. She was by your side whenever you needed her, and you often broke down because you felt as if you were bothering her with your problems. You started to have so much doubt in your friendships, and you despised it. How did you know if Konan saw you the exact same way? God, what if she left you too? Everyone around you was dropping like flies, and you didn’t know who was next. You had no sense of trust either.

Konan hated seeing you that way. She genuinely thought that you were going to make it through everything that’s happened to you. She was infuriated with Rin and Obito for coming between you and your progress. Konan knew she couldn’t do anything about it. She was so tempted to go up to Obito herself and smack the shit out of him, but it wouldn’t help the situation at all.

She wished she could have done more, but she couldn’t. You were her best friend, and seeing this happen to you broke her heart. 

You deserved so much better.

She briefly remembered an encounter she had with Obito before you returned to school. He tried to start a conversation with her, and she wasn’t having it one bit. Konan actually walked right past him as if he didn’t exist. He seemed genuinely shocked by her demeanor, but she didn’t give a single fuck. He had some nerve coming up to her like that. Obito was well-aware that the two of you were friends. 

Now, she was left with the pieces of you that were now broken apart. She didn’t know where to begin. All she hoped for was that you’d be okay, but it wasn’t going to happen overnight.

There was a part of Konan that questioned Rin and her credibility. Did Obito actually say those things? Konan knew how pissed she was over everything, but she didn’t necessarily have evidence to back up her claims. It was all hearsay, and there wasn’t a definitive answer to if it was true or not. However, Konan wasn’t about to do her own investigation. She knew how much those words hurt you. She didn’t want to make things worse than they already were. 

This was all a huge mess, and it was going to be difficult to clean up.

The day seemed to fly by for the two of you. You stopped paying attention to the time, and all you did was lay around the apartment without a single thing to do. Your motivation had gone down the drain, and you didn’t want to continuously bawl your eyes out because it drained your energy even more than before. All you had was your thoughts.

You planned to just sit in your room the entire evening. You didn’t feel like getting up or doing anything. The thought of going to sit up made your body feel more lazy than before. It took so much work just going to the bathroom. 

Your eyes traveled towards the window beside your bed. The sun was already setting, leaving your room to become slowly darker as it disappeared behind the clouds. The early sunsets always made your mood even more sour than it was prior. You often relied on the sunlight to keep your mood somewhat stable, but, with it leaving so soon, that stability was quickly lost. 

How upsetting.

Sighing, you turned your body to the side so you were now facing the wall. You figured you would take a nap because that’s all you ever did nowadays. You’d rather sleep everything away rather than face it, and you knew that wasn’t the best choice. Though, what other option did you have? Your dreams were often safer than reality. 

Your mind constantly haunted you with images of Obito. It was almost like your head wanted you to remember his face. The guilt plagued you, and it made your stomach turn to knots from how horrible it was. 

All of those images were torn apart when you heard the sound of knocking coming from your bedroom door. You assumed it was Konan, because, being honest, who the hell would want to talk to you right now? 

The door was opened slowly, creaking noises filled your ears as Konan stuck her head into the room. She saw you lying on your side. She wasn’t sure if you were sleeping or not, but those thoughts were diminished once she saw you turn over to look at her. She saw how tired you looked in the light. She felt that familiar tug inside of her chest from seeing how you looked. You didn’t look like yourself anymore. A sight she didn’t like seeing, ever.

When your eyes rested on where Konan was standing, you could see her wearing a nicer outfit compared to before. Her perfume also filled your nose, making you feel calmer than before. It was sweet, as a matter of fact, it was the perfume you loved on her. It suited her after all. Her purple hair was straightened, and she wore one side in a small bun. It was the usual hairstyle she’d wear whenever she wanted to do something simple with herself.

Konan stepped into your room, making sure to be careful. “Hey.. how are you feeling..?” her voice was a gentle whisper. She had this calming aura that always relaxed you. It also made your nerves less tense, because, to be frank, the thoughts you were having weren’t the best.

You tried your best to put on a fake smile. The last thing you wanted to do was to burden Konan with your issues. You already felt shitty enough with her having to deal with you the first time around. “I feel.. okay, I guess..” your eyes drifted towards the floor. You honestly didn’t want her to worry about anything.

She stepped a bit closer to where you were sitting. Konan wanted to make your mood somewhat better. She knew there wasn’t a lot that she could do, but she wanted to help you in the best way possible.

“Are you up to do something tonight?” she nodded her head to the side. Deep down, the girl hoped you would say yes. She wanted to get you out of your room. 

Your head turned to meet her. The thought of going somewhere honestly made you want to curl up in bed and never come out. “Um.. I don’t know, Konan,” you rubbed your temples, “I don’t think I have the energy to even get ready,”

A look of disappointment rushed onto her features. She honestly felt kind of stupid to ask you such things knowing your state of mind. All she wanted to do was to be a good friend to you, but she knew she had to be patient. Going out to a party wasn’t exactly the best environment for you. There was a chance Rin could be there, and she could possibly say even more things to make you feel worse than you already did.

Konan didn’t want to have to shut her up again either.

She figured she’d try again another time. You definitely needed more time to fix things with yourself before you could get back out there, and she was perfectly okay with that. 

“Well, alright! I’m going to head out, so text me if you need anything, okay?” she placed her hands into the pockets of her jeans. 

You grew curious as to where your best friend was going. Konan hadn’t mentioned anything throughout the week about any plans, so you were kind of confused. “Where are you going?” you raised an eyebrow as you spoke to her. You honestly didn’t mind that she was going out, but you wondered where she was headed for the evening.

She paused for a few seconds, then turned to face you. “I’m heading to a party.. Deidara invited me the other day, and I agreed to go. I wanted you to go with me, but it’s okay!” she gave you a warm and reassuring smile. 

There was a part of you that felt kind of bad for not agreeing to go. You and Konan were always that duo at every party together. Everyone knew how much the two of you loved having fun together, and bringing her down was something you didn’t want to do. You wished you had the motivation to go, but it was too difficult. You’d just be dead weight to her.

Oh what you would give to have those days back again.

You nodded your head, shifting around on the bed. “Oh, okay..” you chewed on the inside of your cheek, “Well, let me know if you need anything. I hope you have fun!”

Konan walked towards your bedroom door. Before she was completely out of your room, she turned to give you a small smile. “Thank you, love. You know where I’m at if you need me too!” she waved, happiness heavy in the tone of her voice. 

The door shut with a click, leaving you alone with yourself and the quiet atmosphere around you. You were used to this environment already. The long days of when Konan would leave the house for her classes weren’t unusual to you. You often found comfort in being by yourself, but you always felt lonely. It wasn’t like you had that many friends to talk to. Sure, you had people you spoke to, but none of them were aware of your situation.

You always made do with yourself. You never paid much attention to the time, so you figured you would do that now. Before you knew it, Konan would be back home and telling you everything you missed at the party. 

You’d just have to wait.

-

One whole hour had passed by, and you felt like you were losing your mind.

You thought at first you would be able to pass the time by simply doing nothing. Most of the time, you did this, and it always worked. There were even a few occasions where you’d go and take a nap so you could waste the day away a lot faster. 

However, for some reason, time felt as if it was going slower than it should have been. 

You tried, you really tried to focus on something other than the time, but you were easily failing from how often you were checking your phone. It honestly felt like serious torture from how slow things were going. It also didn’t help that you couldn’t fall asleep either. You had previously fallen asleep earlier in the day, so your body had more energy to stay awake. Part of you was annoyed with yourself for doing something like that on a day like this, but you didn’t have a single clue that Konan was going out until she told you minutes before she left. Now, you were stuck with boredom that was completely drowning you.

How fun.

Sitting up in your bed, you reached over to your bedside table to grab your phone which was connected to the charger. You didn’t have a single notification. It honestly made you laugh. Why the hell did you still charge the thing if not a single soul was going to reach out to you. In a way, you wished someone would, but, in the end, it was all a fever dream.

You pulled the white cable out of your phone. You used your right thumb to swipe up to unlock it. Maybe you could find something to do there. Of course you didn’t have many options, but it was better than sitting in the darkness of your bedroom.

Opening your Snapchat, you saw many stories pop up within seconds. There were a few that were from random people you had on the app, but there were some that were from your friends. Konan being one of them.

You decided to click on her story. It loaded within seconds, and all you saw were the many people having fun and dancing with one another. Your mood slowly grew glum from seeing how excited everybody looked. Hell, even Konan had this look of happiness that appeared so much differently than the ones you’ve seen before. It honestly made your heart sting a little to see how much fun was going on. You could have been present there. You could have been having a great time with the people you cared about, but, instead, you were at home by yourself with nobody around you.

The story ended within seconds, and you were left with a black screen with another person’s story before you. All you saw was yourself in the reflection of your phone screen. 

You didn’t recognize yourself again.

If you were being completely open and real with yourself, you were so beyond exhausted with feeling the things you did about yourself. You absolutely despised this toxic cycle you kept finding yourself in. It made you angry to know that this was happening to you, and there wasn’t much you could do about it. Why couldn’t things be peaceful for once?

It didn’t make you sad, no, it made you more frustrated than anything. You didn’t want to feel sorrow anymore. 

An idea flowed into your brain that was kind of impulsive to you, but you didn’t exactly oppose it. If anything, you agreed with the thought you were having. It could be a way for you to put away those emotions for a little while. A distraction that came with great benefits. 

You sat up in your bed so your feet were now placed on the floor. You knew Konan wasn’t going to be back for a while. Hell, she’d probably spend the rest of the evening partying until she passes out.

So, that’s when you decided to find yourself an outfit and get ready for the party.

-

Your eyes found themselves focused on the glittering stars above you in the sky. There wasn’t a single cloud floating around, leaving the moon to stay full and bright without any interruptions coming between it and its light. Such a pretty sight for an eventful night.

You had gotten ready fairly quickly. You didn’t have the time to message Konan that you were actually coming, but you knew you’d find her hanging around with Deidara and Sasori. There was no way she had left yet. You were honestly kind of excited to be heading out for the first time in almost four weeks. It would be your opportunity to finally distract yourself from all of the terrible things you’ve been feeling for the last couple of days.

Your outfit was quite simple. 

It honestly didn’t take you much time to find something that fit what you wanted. You had many choices, but you ended up with a cute outfit. 

Your top was a smoke-colored crop top which had a v-neck cut into it. You decided to wear a pair of navy-blue jean shorts to go with it, and you picked out a pair of your favorite black slip-on Vans to finish it off. You weren’t really looking to do much with your hair, so you decided to wash it and leave it the way it was. Your makeup was also easy and well done. You weren’t too interested in doing anything dramatic anyway.

Instead of driving yourself, you decided to call up an Uber. You would probably leave with Konan, so it would be useless to drive yourself there. 

The ride there was quite quiet. Your driver was polite, but neither of you had much conversation as you traveled to the party house. There was a feeling of anxiety that was rushing over you as you grew closer to your destination. You didn’t know who or what you would see that evening. Being honest, you only wanted to see your friends and nobody else. The idea alone of seeing Rin or even Kakashi was enough to make your stomach queasy.

The person you didn’t want to see the most was Obito.

After a lot of thinking, you had become more angry than hurt over him. How could he go behind your back like that? You cared so deeply for the boy that it physically pained you when you were apart from him. However, it didn’t seem like any of that mattered. He did not care about you at the end of the day, and it was a reality you knew you needed to face. You had so many good things ahead of you, and you weren’t about to let some stupid guy ruin everything for you.

It was over, and he was gone from your life. 

“We’ve arrived!”

Your eyes left the window you were staring out of. You honestly had no idea that the trip would be so quick. Who were you kidding? You knew this route like the back of your hand. Though, you were trapped in your thoughts that you lost track of time. Seeing the party house so full of life made a lump form in your throat from how nerve wracking it was. You hadn’t been there in almost a month. 

You looked around the backseat for a quick moment to make sure you didn’t leave anything behind. You also made sure to take out the twenty dollar bill so you could tip your driver. He was a nice man, and you decided to be a nicer girl. 

“Thank you! This is for you.. have a nice night!” you placed the bill on the cup holder beside his arm. You then opened the car door to step outside into the cool air. It was a gorgeous evening. Everything seemed so perfect, and it made you think, could your night be perfect?

Shutting the door to the vehicle, you turned to wave at the man one last time. He had an expression that was filled with gratitude, and he waved at you as well. He then drove away, leaving you by yourself on the sidewalk. The only thing in front of you was the house before you that was filled with many people. The music instead was blasting loudly. It felt as if you were experiencing deja vu all over again.

You took a deep breath, trying to relax your nerves as much as possible. However, it was becoming difficult to ignore the feeling of your heart slamming against your ribcage. You had to be confident in yourself. While you were at the party, you had no time to dwell on the feelings you were having. You were here for a distraction, nothing else.

You began to start your walk to the front door. There were several people standing around with red solo cups in their hands. Most of them were chatting amongst themselves as you passed by them. They didn’t seem to have a care in the world.

As you went up the driveway, you passed several nice cars. You instantly recognized Kakashi’s white Camaro parked near the garage. Out of all of his friends, he was the only guy in the fraternity that drove a white car. You didn’t recognize the other ones. However, there was a jet-black BMW that caught your attention. It was quite nice, its paint was so clean and crisp. There wasn’t a single mark on the vehicle, and it was an eyesore for any car guy that would have shown up. 

Your attention quickly departed from the car to focus on what was going on in front of you. You stepped onto the porch that led to the door. On the other side, you heard the vibrations of loud music playing. Your hand went to touch the knob on the door. You then twisted it so you could enter the house.

Once the door was opened, you stepped inside of the exciting atmosphere. 

There were so many people around you. This was the first time in weeks that you saw more than just Konan. You had honestly forgotten how fun parties were. The energy, the people, everything felt kind of foreign to you. Not gonna lie, there was this feeling inside of your gut that told you this was a good idea. You would be able to release everything that’s been weighing you down these past couple of days.

Your eyes scanned the area before you. Multi-colored lights danced along the walls, and many people were up and around. You needed to pinpoint where Konan was. You honestly didn’t have a single clue where she would be. Usually, the two of you met up with Deidara and Sasori. However, you didn’t see the duo anywhere.

Walking towards the living room, you searched every person’s face to see if Konan was amongst those faces. There were more people than usual at the party, so there were so many people to look at. The chance that she went home early weighed on your mind. Konan didn’t like leaving you by yourself for very long when you felt the way you did, so there was a possibility she abandoned the party to go and spend time with you. You hoped she didn’t do that, because you really wanted to let loose that night. It’d be unfortunate if she left and didn’t get to see you.

You reached into your back pocket to retrieve your phone to text her. You hoped that she would have her ringer on so she could answer you. 

You started to type a message to her. You were really praying that she didn’t get drunk or something, because that’d really dampen everything. If anything, you could always text Deidara to hang out with him.

“Hey! (Y/N)!” 

You paused as you were about to send the text. Your eyes left your phone to look at the person who was calling your name. To your surprise, it was Deidara, and he was waving his arm as he approached you. If he was there, then he most likely knew where Konan was. That fact made you feel relieved, and, to be honest, you were happy to see the blonde boy.

You smiled, shoving your phone back into your pocket. “Hey! I was just about to call one of you guys to see where you guys were at,” you walked closer to him so you were now directly in front of him.

The blonde cocked his head to the side. He honestly wasn’t expecting you to show up. Konan even told him that you didn’t plan on coming. However, he wasn’t about to complain or ask a bunch of questions. He was kind of suspicious as to why you stopped showing up for school though. It seemed sudden and, when he spoke to you that day, you seemed okay. You seemed so much happier, so he wondered what happened behind the scenes that he wasn’t aware of?

However, he wasn’t going to waste time and throw out questions. He was happy that you were here.

“I’m glad you’re here! Konan and the others are hanging around outside, but they’re all coming inside right now,” he pointed his thumb in the direction of the backyard. 

You were relieved to hear that Konan was still around. At least you didn’t have to go all the way home, because you’d really hate yourself for getting ready all for nothing. 

“Okay, great!” you grinned.

For a couple of minutes, the two of you stood around waiting for the rest of your friends to come together. There were a couple of people you recognized that were partying, and they had stopped by to ask how you were doing. You were happy to see their faces for the first time in a while, but you didn’t go into detail on what the problem was. Spreading business wasn’t your cup of tea. You told them it was personal, and they sent you good vibes.

It gave you the confidence to feel happy. 

You started to think to yourself that maybe this was a good idea. Maybe coming to this party was what you needed instead of isolating yourself from everything that was going on in your life. 

“(Y/N)! There you are!”

You turned your body to meet Konan rushing towards you with a huge smile on her features. She had a drink in her right hand, and she seemed so genuinely excited to see you there with everyone. You couldn’t lie, being there made you feel so much better. For once, it felt like you could breathe and not have to worry about anything that was bothering you. It felt as if you were finally lifting your head from underneath the water.

Konan went to pull you into a hug. The sweet delicious aroma of her perfume filled your nose, calming you. “Hey.. sorry, I decided to come last minute,” you placed your hand on the small of her back as her arms went around your torso.

She pulled away to look at you. She rolled her eyes playfully as she hit your arm. “Come on! You know you don’t have to apologize for things like that, love. I completely understand it, there’s no need to explain yourself,” she smiled once again, “Do you want something to drink?”

There was a part of you that wanted to take a sip of alcohol tonight. You knew that if you drank, then you would be able to completely discard any negative emotions you had been feeling. You’d be able to numb yourself completely, and, to be honest, it would make your party experience even better than it was already. 

However, as much as the opportunity seemed fun, you knew that drowning yourself with liquor wouldn’t be the greatest idea. It was only temporary, and that wasn’t going to do it for you. It could also open your doors to bad habits. That was for sure something you weren’t open to.

“I’m okay! I’m not really in the mood to drink tonight anyway,” you shrugged your shoulders as you responded to her. 

Konan nodded her head, she then swung her arm around your shoulders. She was beyond ecstatic to see you at the party. She had been really disappointed earlier in the evening that you weren’t there, and she missed your bubbly presence more than anything. You two were a duo. Not having you by her side felt lonely, and Konan always felt so out of place whenever you were absent. Many people would ask for you, and she wouldn’t know what to tell them. 

She wanted you to have a blast tonight. There was no way she was going to let anything get in between you and some fun. You deserved to have an enjoyable evening surrounded by those who cared about you.

“Let’s just have a fun and chill night then, shall we? We could always leave and go out to eat if you really wanted to,” she turned her head to look at you, then at the rest of your friends. 

Deidara shrugged his shoulders in response. “Doesn’t matter to me! As long as we’re all having fun together, then I’m fine with whatever!” he then shoved his hands into his pockets so he could find his cellphone. 

Your eyes traveled around your group of friends. There was happiness spreading throughout your entire body as you realized how great your friends truly were. They were probably the best group of people you had ever met, and you were so thankful to have been able to call them your friends. There wasn’t a single worry running through your head. It was almost as if their presence had made all of those pessimistic feelings disappear. 

You were so comfortable around them, and you were ready to move forward with everything that’s happened.

Konan looked behind her so she was now looking at the couches. “Let’s go and sit down! The couches are finally free!” she pointed behind her at the empty space. 

Everyone peered behind her to see that she was right. The couches that were once filled with people were now pretty much abandoned. You guys decided to take advantage of the open opportunity to have a place to hang out. It wasn’t like there were many of you anyway. There would still be a lot of room left if anyone wanted to join your mini group. You guys never created a disturbance before either, so nobody would bat an eye at you.

“Yeah, let’s just go and sit,” you turned around to walk towards the couches. The others trailed behind you and began to fill in the spaces that were empty on the furniture.

Deidara took the spot to the left of you, while Konan chose the place to the right of you. The rest of your friends plopped down across from you on the other couch. There was enough room for everyone to spread out. Everyone seemed content and comfortable with their positions, so the vibe was becoming more chill than it was before.

For several minutes, you all chatted amongst each other. You all spoke about school, plans for the upcoming break, anything that really came about. The conversations were pretty entertaining. Deidara and Sasori would bicker with each other about their art pieces for school and nobody would hear the end of it. You chose to listen to the two boys, because, to be frank, you weren’t too interested in joining in on their argument. However, you and Konan were tempted to bonk both of them on the heads.

The conversation suddenly shifted, and it was sort of dull. You started to zone out and disconnect from it. Your brain was focusing on other things going on around you. 

Besides all of the music and chatter mixing into your ears, you would occasionally focus on something far away. Sometimes your eyes would land on two random people sucking face in the corner, or you’d see some drunk guy break dancing to get some attention to himself. It was hilarious, but, either way, you saw some weird shit.

Your eyes then wandered towards the kitchen area. There weren’t many people around. Occasionally, someone would walk in to look inside of the refrigerator. Though, they wouldn’t stick around very long because they usually would disappear into the backyard once they were done searching around.

You were about to look away, but your eyes suddenly caught onto something. No, they caught onto someone.

You weren’t expecting what your eyes landed on. At first, you thought your eyes had been playing tricks on you. However, after a lot of staring, you soon realized that you weren’t being messed with. Just several feet before you in the kitchen was none other than Obito. He wasn’t by himself either. 

He wasn’t with Rin nor Kakashi. He was with somebody you didn’t even recognize. More specifically, he was with another girl.

A sudden stinging sensation inside of your chest made you feel sick. You hadn’t seen the girl before on campus. It made you wonder where she was from. Was she Obito’s new girl? Did he already replace you? Was he already over you? All of the questions burned inside of your brain, and it didn’t feel good. You didn’t know what to do, nor how to react. What the hell were you supposed to do or feel? 

The emotions you were feeling were becoming extremely overwhelming. It was becoming difficult for you to remain calm and handle them properly. You weren’t expecting this at all. You told yourself you were over Obito, but, yet, you were feeling annoyed and upset that he was with somebody who wasn’t you. You didn’t want to be seen by him. You weren’t sure what he might do if he caught a glimpse of you at this party. You knew Obito wouldn’t go up to you, but you two hadn’t seen each other in weeks.

Your eyes couldn’t help but rest on the girl standing before him. She was beautiful, almost as if she was an angel. She seemed so perfect compared to you. 

Her features were beyond gorgeous. She had inky black hair that traveled down her spine. It was thick, and there wasn’t a single strand out of place. Her makeup was done so smoothly that it made you almost run into the bathroom to check if your eyeliner was straight. It looked like she had silk on her skin. She had to be just a few inches shy of your height. She had these teeth that were almost as white as pearls. 

It was no wonder Obito was speaking with her.

“Hey! Are you alright?” 

Your thoughts were immediately interrupted by Deidara suddenly talking to you. You didn’t realize you had been staring for that long. Deep down, you were praying that she hadn’t seen you staring at her. You also hoped that Deidara didn’t catch on to what you were looking at. 

You put on the best smile you could. Being honest, you weren’t interested in telling your friends about what was bothering you. 

“Y-Yeah! I’m fine..” you avoided any eye contact to prevent possible issues to arise. You didn’t want to bring attention to yourself.

However, there was somebody who could see through you like you were made of glass. She could tell there wasn’t something right with you. Konan had no idea what it was, but something was indeed bothering you. 

Konan shifted around on the couch so she was now sitting closer to you. She didn’t want a repeat of what happened the other day on campus. She wanted to make sure that you felt as comfortable as possible at the party. She needed to make you feel okay. To remind you that she was here, and nothing was going to happen to you. She could understand if you were feeling anxious, but there had to be something there triggering you.

She then rested her head against your shoulder. You felt her gesture and turned your head to see what she was doing. For a brief moment, your heart beat slowed down, and you forgot why you were feeling so anxious. However, those feelings didn’t dissipate for long, because your eyes continuously kept looking over at Obito in the kitchen. 

Your eyes suddenly traveled to the door that led into the backyard. Your heart practically dropped inside of your chest when you saw Kakashi walk through it. You hadn’t seen him since the day the two of you almost hooked up in your apartment. Neither of you had spoken to one another, and, to be honest, you didn’t have a single thing to say. What Rin had told you was sticking with you. There was a chance Kakashi had told them everything. That thought alone made you feel angry. You trusted him with that information. He had no right to go and spill it to others, especially Rin. 

Something that stood out to you was the discoloration on Kakashi’s cheek. 

His usual clear and pale skin had a yellow tint to it. From afar, you could blame the lighting, but, the more you focused, the more you realized that it wasn’t the light at all. Kakashi had a bruise that was clearly healing on the side of his face. You didn’t recall seeing one when he came over that one day, so where did it come from? He must have gotten it after you saw him. It seemed weird, because how could he receive a bruise? Did he get hit in the face by a basketball?

It was odd, but you weren’t about to question it. 

Your attention quickly left the gray-haired male to look at Obito. He was still in the kitchen with that same girl from before. 

You settled on Obito’s features. You also focused on his body language. The way he was acting gave you such nostalgia. His smile seemed so genuine and full of happiness. He kept playing with his hair and fidgeting with his fingers. It was almost as clear as day that he was nervous. You knew Obito like the back of your hand. Every single thing about him was written into your head, and you knew what he did in certain situations.

You knew all of that because he did that with you.

Obito blushed like a school girl whenever you complimented him, or he would look away whenever he saw someone who attracted him. There were so many little things he did that he did to you, and, now, seeing it before you like this made your stomach turn. It was almost as if you were watching a movie with the two of you in it.

Though, seeing the scene before you also made your emotions completely turn around. You weren’t ready to see Obito move on that quickly. He seemed so much better without you around. It almost pained you to see the shift in his emotions. The same guilty feeling you had felt before had rushed over you like a tidal wave. 

It was becoming increasingly difficult to remain calm and collected. 

There was a little voice inside of your head that was telling you to remove yourself from that situation. You were done sitting there in that room. Seeing those things were making you feel like genuine shit, and you didn’t want to deal with it any longer than you needed to. God, you really hated running, but what other choice did you have?

Before you knew it, you had already stood up. Your palms were sweaty, the beat of your heart was enough to make you want to throw up. It was almost deafening in your ears. 

“(Y/N)? What’s going on? Where are you going?” Konan was very alarmed by your sudden change in behavior. She could see there was a look of panic written all over your features. It wasn’t right at all.

You took a deep breath, trying to keep yourself composed. “Nothing! I-I just want to leave!” you turned around to head towards the exit. You weren’t going to waste any more time. You wanted to get out, and get out fast. If anything, you didn’t want to be seen by Obito or Kakashi.

As you kept walking, your steps were abruptly interrupted by someone grabbing at your arm. It was tight, you almost tripped once you were stopped. 

Your head turned to meet Konan standing behind you. Her hand was wrapped tightly around your arm. It was honestly super hard to wriggle out of her grasp. Her facial expression was a mix of seriousness and concern. You hadn’t seen Konan look at you like that before. It made your heart drop from how intense it was.

She looked down at the floor for a brief moment before making eye contact with you. “(Y/N).. what is going on? Why did you leave so suddenly? Is there something bothering you here?” she stepped towards you, “You can tell me.. it’s okay,” 

Your hands began to tremble, and a lump began to form inside of your throat. Your stomach felt so uneasy, and you had this sense of paranoia coming over you. There was a side of you that kept watching the kitchen. You feared Obito would become aware of your presence, and you didn’t want that one bit. 

“I just.. I want to go home, okay? I don’t feel that well, but I’m fine!” you were trying your hardest to put on a reassuring act. It was already difficult enough to be lying about what you had seen, but having to lie to Konan was even harder. She saw through people better than anyone you knew. 

Konan felt bad, but she felt as if she couldn’t believe you. You looked like you had seen a ghost. It wasn’t okay at all. She wanted to make you feel comfortable. You also gave off the vibe that you were hiding something from her.

She loosened her grip on your arm. However, she kept her hand against your skin. “Please.. you don’t have to lie to me. I know something is bothering you,” she sounded worried, and it made your chest feel heavy. You didn’t mean to bother her with your sudden behavior. That was the last thing you wanted.

You could feel tears pooling in your eyes from the situation. You despised crying over every little thing. It only made you more frustrated. For once in your fucking life, you wanted to stop giving people the water works over everything you got into. You didn’t want her to feel bad for you. However, you weren’t particularly interested in explaining what was making you feel the things  you were feeling. 

Your attention left Konan for a brief second to look towards the kitchen. However, when you looked around, the girl Obito was once with had disappeared. Obito was now alone, and Kakashi was there with him. Though, to your surprise, the two weren’t talking or even batting an eye at one another. With Obito now alone, it gave him the opportunity to possibly realize that you were at the party. 

No, no, no.

You couldn’t let that happen.

Looking towards Konan, you stepped backward so she no longer had a hand on you. “I-I.. I can’t! I can’t be here.. I need to leave..” you turned your head to search for the quickest way to get to the exit. There weren’t many people around you. Leaving the party wouldn’t be difficult, but you knew you weren’t going to be able to wait around for an Uber.

Konan watched you turn around to rush towards the exit. She furrowed her eyebrows, and many questions began to appear inside of her mind. However, she wasn’t about to let you leave that easily. Hell no. She needed to go after you.

“(Y/N)! Wait! Where are you going?!” she had to move around a couple of people to go after you. Konan wasn’t sure where you planned on heading, but the last thing she wanted was for you to be by yourself. 

You heard Konan calling for you, but you didn’t care to stop. All you wanted to do was escape from the area you were in. 

“(Y/N)! Can you slow down?!”

The door was just a few feet away from you. There wasn’t a single person blocking your way, so it was just within arms reach. You wanted to get the hell out of the stuffy atmosphere you had been in for so long. 

You looked back for several seconds. You could see Konan slowly making her way towards you. She was a lot quicker than you had anticipated. However, you had to keep going forward.

“Konan! Just.. just go, okay?! I’m fine trust-”

Your words were immediately interrupted once you felt yourself collide with someone’s chest. You hit them pretty hard, and it took you by total surprise. Now you were embarrassed, you should have been paying attention to the area in front of you. 

You turned around to face the person. “I’m so sorry!” you finally lifted your eyes off of the floor, “I wasn’t paying attention and-”

Your eyes grew as wide as saucers once you realized who was standing before you. Your heart began to thump rapidly, and all of your words got caught in your throat.

There was no way.

“(Y/N)..?”

[etaindelaserna]

Hello....Because you also love shipping, can I ask your thoughts on these ships : GoYuu & SatoSugu (JJK), NaruSasu (Naruto) and ZuTara (ATLA)?

Hey! You can ask me anything✨

Let’s see…

GoYuu

Personally I haven’t dived into this ship yet but I can see why people are interested in it: whenever Gojo and Yuuji are together they seem to share on brain cell and are just one big doofus force to be reckoned with.

Him and Yuuji have the same energy and they just click on that level. There is no awkwardness, no uncertainty, they just understand one another. Also they don’t seem to have any concept of personal space whatsoever with each other. Then there is the fact that they have had their fair share of losing important people to “the dark side” and being helpless to stop it. I can see Gojo looking at Yuuji and comparing him to Suguru. And because Yuuji isn’t losing faith in his purpose as a jujutsu sorcerer, it might help Gojo to make his peace with the past. I see them as a fluffy ship for the most part. Gojo perfect at everything being completely smitten with and supportive of Yuuji who has to try very hard. Then there is also the sensei/student dynamic and, if we bring Sukuna into the mix, a lot of animosity from Sukuna towards Gojo (with potential for situational comedy) and possessive behaviour from both Gojo and Sukuna. Also: Gojo is a shameless flirt while Yuuji is just cute and a ray of sunshine and maybe even wouldn’t realise it when he is flirted with. There are so many story building ideas and questions you can do with this ship.

SatoSugu

It does have a lot of NaruSasu vibes for me and yet SatoSugu works where NaruSasu failed. It is able to pull off comedy, fluff, tragedy and sexy with ease, which as a combination can be very addictive. Two characters who have a very deep connection and friendship driven apart by circumstances and the clash of their ideals. That’s heartbreaking stuff. There are so many What-if? questions you can ask about their story. Suguru left a wound that will never really heal. Also: they are both ridiculous handsome and talented characters whom I can see bickering about the most unimportant things just for the fun of it and because they cannot control their temper and ego around each other. The shameless flirt and the thoughtful one, the overachiever and the one, who can’t follow. I think they work pretty well as a ship because they have got so many dynamics you can explore.

NaruSasu

One of the big, popular Naruto ships that never clicked for me. Maybe because I didn’t like Sasuke much. Maybe because Kishi was just about to develop their friendship when Sasuke left. Sasuke’s motives never resonated with me and that’s probably why I had a hard time understanding why Naruto wanted to bring him back. It seemed due to obligation rather than friendship. BUT I can still somewhat see the appeal. Naruto yearning, thinking he can save him, fix him, wanting to show him that their friendship is enough, that he doesn’t have to seek vengeance, that love is worth feeling and that without loss or pain there can be no love to begin with. Also: they are constantly at each other’s throats, they both have grown up for the most part without their parents, they can relate to each other because of their trauma AND although they have different personalities they do share the same kind of humour. Much to work with but I never saw potential for something more than friendship. Even “friendship” was a hard pill for me to swallow the moment Sasuke tried to kill Naruto and Sakura. I see the drama, the tragedy, even the brotherly aspect of their bond, but not romance.

ZuTara

The classic tale of “from enemies, to reluctant allies, to friends, to we have deep but also complicated feelings for each other”. It’s the “love that was meant to be but never came to be” trope. And I’m always down for it.

Their chemistry was off the charts from day one. Both are incredible fierce, stubborn and loyal. They played well off each other due to the circumstances of Katara’s parents having been killed by the Fire Nation. I always got the impression that there was a deep connection and understanding passing between them every time they met. Almost like a constant “What if…?”, a “I understand where you are coming from but I still have to do this”. There was a certain something in the way Zuko looked at her. I never exactly understood why it wasn’t meant to be. Him throwing himself in front of her to protect her from the lightning?! I was a goner. They gave me the Dramione feels but with much more fan service in the canon storyline. In my head they’re endgame. End of story.

[lemmilemura]

HEAR ME OUT ON THIS REQUEST PLZ, ok so the reader a huge crush on simon right? but theyre not friends at all, like they’ve never met eachother other than having a few classes together and stuff (he hasn’t even posted about them on AT). BUT (since the reader is like so obsessed or whatever) the reader like, hacks into about that somehow, and they and simon meet and talk to eachother IN THE CODE OF THE APP. I THINK IT WOULD BE SO CUTE

im ngl ive had this idea for so long, theres a lot of plot holes in the req so you can do whatever to it, but plz keep the talking in the code of the app thing in it because i think it’s adorable 😭

Oh my fucking god that is genious!!! I absolutely love that idea! Thank you, omg, I'm full of energy again to write this, I never even thought of this!!! I missed you, pine-ferret, I really have.

All kept gender-neutral Based on the show

3am. Pitch black. The only light was coming from my computer screen. It was giving off a green glow into the room. It came from the fake hacking website I had open on my second monitor. Actual hacking doesn't do all that fancy stuff. Atleast not the hacking I was currently doing. My only companion, my only energy came in the form of Lipton Ice Tea. My motivation was what was behind that wall of code. It was grueling. It was terrible. It took hours. But I persevered. I powered through. I used all of my skills trying to get in. Trying to achieve my goal.

What was that goal you ask? A simple one. One that, if you think about it, could have been solved much faster and easier, if I had more confidence and didn't have a panic attack every time I thjought of it.

My goal was to talk to Simon Kelleher.

I know, you don't have to point it out. Look, my severe social anxiety and also him not having a single idea who I was kinda kept me from talking to him. How do I know he doesn't know I exist? I have never been mention in AT. Not even once. And he's mentioned EVERYONE. Except for his friends, of course.

Hacking into AT was much harder than anywhere I'd hacked into before. "He set this up good... But nothing I didn't expect from him..." I mean of course he'd protect it well, if anyone got in there, it could spell disaster. Luckily, I wasn't planning on using it for anything nefarious. Only on the conquest of admiration.

I got really close to cracking it, I could feel it. Only a few more lines and I'd be in. "Seems like it's 1-0 for me, Kelleher. In, ya know, hacking and keeping your website un-hackable. In most other areas you definitely have way more points than me." I said to myself as I felt success get closer and closer.

But as always when I thought something would go my way, it did a U-turn.

Anarchi$k: Nice try.

"What the fuck. Wait, okay, okay, this is my big chance. This must be Simon. Stay calm, you got this."

(Username): Oh you haven't won yet.

Anarchi$k: Suuuuure. Now gtfo

(Username): Rude much.

I was then 'kicked out' of the code. But all he did was just send me a few steps back. Luckily, I had a habit of writing down every step that worked. So it only took a few seconds for me to geth where I was.

(Username): Hello again.

Anarchi$k: How tf

Anarchi$k: How did you do that?

(Username): A magician never reveals their tricks.

(Username): Now lemme get past, I'm almost in.

Anarchi$k: Not if I can stop you.

(Username): You just failed.

"Aaaaand kicked again. Alright, gotta work a lil faster then." This time, I managed to get further, only one password stood between me and having access to all of AT. That and Anarchi$k, aka Simon, of course.

Anarchi$k: Could you not?

Anarchi$k: Kicking you out is getting tedious.

(Username): Then stop kicking me?

(Username): Think on the bright side, now you know what you need to reinforce!

Anarchi$k: Good luck getting further.

Anarchi$k: You'll need it

(Username): Awwwww, thanks.

I wasn't kicked, but I could imagine why. There was no hint whatsoever to what the password could be. I'd probably not have multiple tries, either. "You can do this. and if not, hey, he knows you exist! Kinda. Not really..." I shook my head and then got to thinking. I knew almost nothing about him, so there was no way I'd ever get it.

(Username): Can I get a hint?

Anarki$k: Wtf no

(Username): Cmoooooon

(Username): I doubt anyone before has gotten this far

(Username): I deserve this

Anarchi$k: I don't even know who you are.

(Username): I know you

Anarchi$k: Everyone knows me

Anarchi$k: Because of what you're trying to get into.

(Username): Even if I told you my name

(Username): You wouldn't know who I am

Anarchi$k: Try me

(Username): Password first, Kelleher

(Username): :)

For a while nothing came. "Of course he wouldn't just give me it."

Anarchi$k: If you're still at it in like

Anarchi$k: A day

Anarchi$k: And haven't given up

Anarchi$k: I'll think about it

(Username): Yeeeah I don't believe you

(Username): I'll get this password

(Username): One way or another

(Username): But thanks for the offer

I ended up falling asleep after about half an hour of thinking. It was 4am, okay? School kicked my ass the next morning. I couldn't focus because I kept thinking about that stupid password. I only had 2 classes with Simon but he never said much in any of them, plus he sat behind me in both, so I couldn't even look at his desk or anything.

At lunch, I only nibbled at my food, while scribbling various ideas and getting frustrated. "If only I knew him better. Maybe this would be easier." My apple was only half gone, and there were only 30 minutes of lunch left. "You look like you could use some help." I looked at the voice suddenly next to me. "You're, Maeve, right? Maeve Rojas?" She sits next to me, with her tray of food. "Yep. It's okay if I sit here, right?" "You're not sitting with your sister?" "We have different lunches."

That was a first for many reasons. I never had anyone wanting to sit next to me. I'd never talked to Maeve before. I'd seen her a handful of times with Simon and Janae. "What are you struggling with?" She asked as she leaned over. "Just some code. A... friend of mine forgot their passcode and has no idea what it was." "Well, any ideas?" The two of us spent the rest of lunch trying to figure out what the passcode was, and she never found out it was to AT.

I got back to it as soon as I got home. I was determined to figure it out without Simon's hint. I workshopped a little more on what me and Maeve worked on.

Anarchi$k: Wait you're actually here again?

(Username): Did ya miss me?

Anarchi$k: Ya wish

(Username): I wish to get into AT

Anarchi$k: Do I look like a Genie to you?

(Username): A Genie-ous

Anarchi$k: Oh my fucking god

(Username): Does flattery get me a free entry pass?

Anarchi$k: It gets you nowhere

(Username): Oh cmoooooonnnn

(Username): Just let me in!

Anarchi$k: I told you

Anarchi$k: 24 hours

Anarchi$k: You've got 12 left

(Username): Ugh

(Username): Party pooper

"C'mon brain, think of things. C'mon brain, be so smart." I repeated to myself an amount of times I do not know. I brainstormed all the way through dinner, and way into the night.

"I only have one hour left. Either I could just give up and wait for the hint. Or I could crack this and be amazing and impress him..." the latter was the one I really wanted, but I knew it was very very unrealistic.

Anarchi$k: 30 minutes buddy

Anarchi$k: Or do you already give up?

(Username): I never give up

(Username): i never let down

(Username): I never run around or desert

Anarchi$k: okay for that you only get 15 minutes left

(Username): WTF why?

Anarchi$k: you fucking rickrolled me wtf did you think was gonna happen?

(Username): you'd find the joke so hilarious and give me the code and then we fall helplessly in love and live out our days only communicating in code?

Anarchi$k: wow

Anarchi$k: yeah that's not gonna happen

(Username): worth a try

Anarchi$k: why do you want to get in so badly anyway?

Anarchi$k: I mean I know why but goddamn just give up already

(Username): wow you must be braindead

(Username): I just told you, dumbass

Omg I actually just said that. Maybe it was the fact that he had no idea it was me that was giving me that confidence. God knows I would never be able to get a single word out if we were actually face to face.

Anarchi$k: you must be so desperate and deprived of attention if you come to me of all people

(Username): you do realize that backfired, right?

Anarchi$k: I am very well aware

(Username): you should like

(Username: idk

(Username): be happy that there's someone who like you

(Username): and stuff

Anarchi$k: oh I'm very flattered

Anarchi$k: but still

Anarchi$k: like wtf

Anarchi$k: also back to the I don't fucking know you part

(Username): If I told you who I am

(Username): 1 it would ruin this great little 'game'

(Username): and 2 you'd still not know who I am cuz you don't know me

Anarchi$k: oh how fun

Anarchi$k: I get to experience having a stalker

(Username): it's not like that dumbass

(Username): ok what I can say is I also go to Bayview

Anarchi$k: narrows it only a small bit

Anarchi$k: and if you think that stops the stalker thing it doesn't

(Username): welp, I tried

Anarchi$k: and I succeeded

Anarchi$k: time's up, buddy

Anarchi$k: any final words before I send you back out?

Anarchi$k: I've changed pretty much eveything btw

I felt like at this point I only had two options.

1. Take the loss and lose all my progress, and this is where it all ends

2. Tell him who I am and it ends too

And I kid you not I blacked out while typing what I typed because I do not remember a single thing.

(Username): my name is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). We have a couple classes together. You sit behind me in them.

I only came back to consciousness after it was sent. I then cursed myself and curled up in a ball on my chair. Goodybe and chance to ever succeed. Goodbye future I'd dreamed of. Goodbye happiness.

I'd started crying a little too. Then I heard a sound. I looked up.

"What the fuck" I was greeted by the Admin panel of AT. Full access to everything.

Anarchi$k: not a lot of people would be willing to admit that

Anarchi$k: you got balls, (Username)

Anarchi$k: also I knew it was you the entire time lol

WHAT.

(Username): what

Anarchi$k: yeah I see you sometimes

Anarchi$k: you gotta work on the staring

Anarchi$k: also Maeve told me she helped you with a passcode during lunch

Anarchi$k: so yeah

(Username):...

(Username): I

I was speechless. Somehow, this was worse. Much worse.

Anarchi$k: I gave you access because I could use the help

Anarchi$k: of someone who knows their way around code

Anarchi$k: no offense to Janae and Maeve but they're not smart enough for this stuff

(Username): I

(Username): okay

(Username): I guess

(Username): this is going to be so awkward

(Username): just warning ya

Anarchi$k: oh I'm sure we'll be just peachy

Anarchi$k: also feel free to stuck around us at school

Anarchi$k: if your poor little heart can handle that

Anarchi$k: ;)

(Username): or my reputation rather

Anarchi$k: you're invisble

Anarchi$k: there's no reputation to break

Okay I know that ending was kinda meh but I do not know how to go on I hope you still like it qwq

[emblemxeno]

Legend of Korra First Watch: Book 2 Thoughts

Decided on doing just overall thoughts instead of posting about every episode like I did with Book 1. Anyway, I... don't hate this Book (it's really hard for me to hate something), but it made lots of decisions that I really dislike.

Full list under the cut.

------Unalaq is a terrible antagonist. He has none of Tarrlok's charisma, and none of Amon's threatening presence. I understand his motivations from just a "okay I get what he's trying to do" standpoint, but, I don't quite understand why exactly this is something he himself wanted to do. The only reason I can think of is that he's more attuned to the spiritual world, and therefore he wants to reconnect it with the material world. Now, that makes sense, but IMO it's simply... not enough? The things he did to accomplish the goal seem so damn overboard when weighed against the goal itself. Why not just hammer the spiritual training into Korra? Was he just that far gone after having a hand in banishing his brother that he felt all he could do was take extremes? And why try to use Vaatu specifically to accomplish this feat when, as a spiritual man, Unalaq should know how destructive Vaatu is? Is it because Unalaq is so spiritual that he came to resent Wan's decision to close off the material world and spiritual world, and therefore resent the Avatar as a concept due to being Wan's reincarnation?

That last question is honestly the conclusion I'm sticking to, unless someone else can possibly grant other insight without spoiling Books 3 and 4. I'm a thinker, and I've thought out as many avenues as I can when trying to give this slightly above average waterbender with a white-bread personality a deeper reason as to why he's such a cunt.

------From what I've seen, the most controversial aspect of this season is the backstory of the Avatar, how bending was obtained/cultivated, and the existence of Raava and Vaatu.

I myself don't dislike the Avatar concept having a backstory-but, I'm the type of person where I don't need constant exposition, lore dumps, or over explanations of anything. If they are to be included, I really, really want them done well or else what's honestly the point?

The Wan episodes are artistically breathtaking, seriously, shoutout to the animators and whoever was the animation director or decision maker, cuz those episodes looked beautiful. Wan as a character I have no qualms with. He seemed to have started what I consider a "cardinal Avatar sin" where he jumps to conclusions and makes a decision that results in disastrous consequences. Korra does it, Aang did, and Roku did it (from what I've heard, Kyoshi, Kuruk, and Yangchen did stuff like that too). No issue here, I think having consistent Avatar-ness to a person's character-no matter how otherwise different their personality is to their past lives-is neat.

The bending thing is... half-baked. Apparently a point of ire among the Avatar audience is that TLOK retcons bending's origins from being taught by natural sources (dragons/badger moles/sky bison/the moon+the spirit koi) to being something that the lion turtles grant. I see the issue, though from what I understand, it's that the tion turtles give the power of elements to people, but spirits and animals teach the form (e.g. the difference between Wan bending fire as he learned from a dragon spirit versus how his friends from the city use it). So technically at once both a retcon and not one, though retcons themselves aren't inherently bad. My issue is that this revelation is a bit half baked, same as how ATLA introduced energy bending in Book 3. It comes and goes with fanfare, but little substance given how important it is.

------Raava and Vaatu get their own bullet point cuz maaaaaan, I don't like what these two are whatsoever.

On paper, having the Avatar be a fusion of a person and a spirit makes sense given their role as the bridge between worlds, and serves as a... fine enough explanation as to why they can bend all elements.

What I take umbrage with is that it seems their existence is inherently contradictory to what the story's trying to say. Raava kept Vaatu under wraps for 10,000 years to "maintain balance" but.... balance isn't one spirit dominating the other? One being light and the other being darkness isn't an issue (cuz light isn't always good and darkness isn't always evil), but one being chaos and the other being peace is an issue IMO. Peace is not a neat opposite of chaos, order is. Peace's opposite is war, peace can be orderly or chaotic and war can as well. Changing that one line of Raava's would've saved me a headache, though it still wouldn't change my problem with how they're fucking fighting for control of one another instead of trying to balance each other out. It's a mess, and it's one of the things of this season that should've been deconstructed and reconstructed some more before being released.

------Korra losing her connection to her past lives is certainly something. Definitely a thing that happened. Yeah.

Being serious for a second, I don't hold this against Korra whatsoever and never will. Much like Book 1 (and honestly what I expect for the next two seasons unfortunately), Book 2 is written as if the only way to beat Korra is to throw the unexpected at her. And that can work... for the first time. But subsequent times in a new season reads as cheap. IMO, it doesn't become a "oh they made Korra too strong and don't know how to actually give her a proper challenge to overcome and grow" situation, it becomes a "they don't know how to actually construct a challenge period without raising the stakes." Now those things sound like the same, but the difference is that Korra isn't strong in many defineable ways; she's impatient and hotheaded, spiritually inept, and has serious identity issues as a result of not being able to separate herself from being the Avatar. So those weaknesses are taken advantage of in both Book 1 and Book 2. But the difference is that Book 2 suddenly raises the stakes and consequences seemingly out of nowhere.

Amon taking away her bending is palpable and meaningful cuz we've seen it done many times before in Book 1 and that itself is a grand consequence. Raava getting ripped from Korra and being defeated, is also itself a grand consequence. It means Korra goes through a deeper identity crisis by not having her Avatar powers anymore, failing in her duty to maintain balance with her spiritual side, and not being able to stop the spirit and material worlds from destroying each other. That was enough.

So why now, does she also lose her connection the past lives? Raava was already established as being unable to be completely destroyed by Vaatu, so why does her defeat mean the past 10,000 years of Avatars are erased? Did I miss something? It doesn't make sense to me, and there's no reason for its inclusion other than to give more baggae onto Korra when the girl has already been through so fucking much. It feels tacked on and cheap, a shallow attempt to introduce consquences that ends up coming off as superfluous.

------Okay, even though I spent the previous paragraphs criticizing how the spiritual aspect of this season was done, I gotta say this: idk if this is an unpopular opinion, but I greatly disliked every moment in the show where it wasn't directly related to the spirit world.

Varrick's jokes fall flat for me half the time, and being a war profiteer is objectively interesting, but doesn't make me like him any more.

The relationship stuff again in this show is just so uncomfortable to watch since the dichotomy between the show attempting to tackle serious subjects and philosophy while simultaneously having the cast being terrible communicators is jarring and not a fun watch, and I'm happy that Korra and Mako broke up at the end.

Speaking of Mako, god fuuuuuuuck, I was so tempted to fast forward every time there was a police force scene. Now, I hate the police irl a lot, but this is a TV show and unless a show is attempting commentary on irl police, I don't bother to bring my own dislike into media criticism. However, this is still a TV show meant to entertain, and nothing about police is entertaining when you don't do anything with them. It's paperwork, lazy cops who are bad at their jobs, bureaucracy, taking advantage of people, refusal of other perspectives, infighting, etc. That shit's not fun to hear about or watch in real life, and it certainly isn't better in animated form either. Mako seems devoid of any character beyond the archetypal "troublemaker becomes law enforcement" and not getting believed, Lin is almost nonexistent which is a shame given how cool she was in Book 1, and every attempt at humor with the police and the gangs does not land cuz they're not likeable in any way. At least Varrick, though I didn't care for his quips half the time, had charm and was fun to watch! Nothing about the police force was fun to watch, and it was only as interesting as a "Rookie Detective B Plot" can be.

Now, Bolin's stint as an actor works in the grand scheme of what the Book's entire message/theme was, that being finding what you want to do and detaching yourself from what's expected/enforced upon you. I just found myself getting bored with watching his acting stuff. And yeah he's cute in the outfit, but honestly? I don't quite get the internet hullabaloo about him as Nuktuk. As a Gay™️ Lover of Men™️, he's certainly attractive, but he just doesn't do anything for me. Muscles are great, but idk, I'm not a fan of round faces or the Cute Excited flavor of Himbo. Maybe it's also cuz he's a teenager, and I've always found physical maturity to be extremely hot.

He also lowkey sexually assaulted his co-star, so he's not making my favorite character list anytime soon. I won't forget that he did this, though I do hope the next two Books give him something that pulls him out of the trench, cuz I'd hate to dislike him at the end of this.

------Uh, anyway. Themes! Characterization! Development! Yay! I liked it all. I think the message of finding yourself for who you are rather than what you think you're meant to be is inspiring and a good thing for younger audiences to hear. Korra obviously is the most significant example of this, but maaaaaan, I knew I was right to love Tenzin so much. He tries so hard to be Aang that he lacks identity for himself. It reminds me of when Iroh told Zuko, "Who are you? And what do you want?" And I think the emotional throughline from ATLA to this show was shining and it paid off. Tenzin didn't need to be shackled by Aang's legacy, he just needed to be himself. The mini instances of this while him and his family are vacactioning are great set ups to this; how he interacts with his siblings, trying to teach Meelo to lead through strict and isolating methods, and being almost envious or jealous that Jinora is so spiritually gifted while he's not. Ugh, he's just so great.

Like I said earlier, Bolin's moments in the season also fall neatly into this theme, and even Desna and Eska showed some growth from being their dad's lackeys to doing what they think they need to do rather than just what's expected from Unalaq. Bumi and Kya show promise in this regard, though there hasn't been a resolution. They've showcased baggage about being lowkey neglected by Aang in comparison to Tenzin, but beyond the siblings resolving their own differences, there wasn't anything else said about it. Maybe it's cuz they're both older, and don't feel the need to do the things Tenzin does, but eh. IMO there's always room for older characters to have well developed stories!

All of this makes it more confusing why Mako and Asami are kind of... not like this. They show shades of it (Mako being something other than Korra's boyfriend, and Asami being more than just Future Industries new owner), but nothing has come of it since there was so much focus on the police investigations rather than their characters. It's very disappointing, especially since in Book 1 Asami had a great showing in spite of the small time she had, and I felt Mako had potential.

That's about it I think. Deffo a step down from Book 1 to me, though I didn't find it absolutely terrible. Just sloppy. There's salvageable things here, but for the most part I find myself thinking "why couldn't this be done better?"

I heard that Book 3 is considered the best, or at least is a big fan favorite of the entire series. I have high expectations then. See you on the other side.

[cursedbyastro]

❝𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐲❞

❝𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞❞: do not copy, steal, or plagiarize my work WHATSOEVER. reblogs and references are okay as long as you give me my credit. thank you, enjoy ♡

— aphrodite is the ancient greek goddess of love, beauty, lust, pleasure and procreation 

— so, in turn the asteroid aphrodite represents beauty, pleasure, passion, prosperity, your relationship with your physical body, the physical manifestation of things you love, talent, what attracts you/what catches your eye, and sex appeal. it shares many aspects with venus.

— mercury represents communication, the mind, youth, speaking, perception, writing, transportation, mannerisms & gestures, education, details, hands,  curiosity, how we think, learning, humor, intelligence, design, logic, poetry, singing, mimicking, eyes, visual aid, exploring, travel, and music. 

— conjunction is a most powerful aspects. it mutually intensifies the effects of the involved astrological bodies beneficially or detrimentally depending on the energies at hand.

— beauty with brains trope/girlboss  

— it could also give you a youthfulness to your nature because of the mercury contact. so, people may think you are younger than you actually are because of this. 

— the way that you communicate is very alluring and attractive. you quite literally have the voice of a god/goddess. some people can worship the words you say quote you or mimic you speaking methods. this gets you a lot of praise. 

— people could also worship you for how much you know or how smart you are. they find your knowledge intriguing. you just have an interesting take on everything.

— you could also be praised or worshipped for your way of thinking, intelligence, and mannerisms.

— you can find success in fields that deal with communication, teaching, knowledge, or any of the general themes of mercury.

— you could use a lot of enduring words or sound sweet and/or sensual. you try to to always speak from your heart, even if the idea of being vulnerable is scary sometimes.

— you can easily charm someone into doing things for you or have them wrapped up in your words for hours. you take time to choose your words wisely and frame them to suit your target audience and make sure your message is received as intended. a good marketing aspect and good for storytelling. you make people want to listen to you. 

— a big "i love you" or "be safe" person to people they care about.

— many people might find your voice comforting or say that you have a way with words, people might even feel comfortable coming to you about their secrets or trouble. it is a natural talent. 

— you also have a natural attention to detail. you notice the small things.

— you could have an enticing singing voice, and you could even have a pretty handwriting/be an amazing writer. 

— flirting comes naturally to you without having to try. your humor is very clever and mischievous like a chesire cat. you love to flirt and tease obviously.

— words of affirmation could be a love language for you. you also probably love little love letters or texts too (they are so cute <3) 

— you take people’s word seriously, so when they tell you something you almost always take it literally. you don’t like when people tell lies or break promises.

— (nsfw) this could lead to a praise/degrading kink lol i’m sorry. but, it could be stimulating for you. you could also appreciate loving words during smexy time to heighten you sense and experience.

— this also applies to yourself as well. speaking words of affirmations to yourself can help you to appreciate your body and image more. can definitely give you a confidence or motivation boost.

— in terms of attraction, you are very attracted to intelligence and depth in a person. a pretty face and material wealth is nice, but you truly value substance.

— you value knowledge. to you, knowledge is both powerful and sexy. you constantly want to learn as much as you can about anything that you have a passion for. the more you get to know about someone, the more invested you become. 

— good communication and mutual understandings is important for your platonic, familial business, and romantic relationships. you like to make sure that you and every party involved is heard.

— this can also show that others are attracted to you because of your own intelligence, depth, and humor. 

— you could attract youthful lovers, scholars, intelligent suitors, or virgo or gemini placements. 

— you learn a lot about the world, yourself, others, etc. from romantic or sexual relationships. 

— when you see mannerisms, words, or humor that you find alluring or pleasing, you can tend to copy it or mimic it in a way and make it your own. 

— since mercury also rules the eyes, you could be deeply attracted to a strong gaze or gorgeous eyes. 

— you could have very gorgeous lips, eyes, teeth, and even hands (could also receive compliments for them)

— because aphrodite also deals with the body, the mercury contact could make you thinner in certain areas of your body or face. these areas could also fluctuate in appearance.

— it could also make you more critical or precise about your body. you like to look a certain way, put together. you are very selective about the things that you eat or wear.

— you like natural things or things of the earth, minimalistic fashion or items, items that help your practically. you constantly change your style or aesthetic, but it always looks good. 

— could have a lot of good beauty/fashion advice. probably dresses in earth tones or minimalistically like hoodies or plain clothing. but, you always make it look clean and just the right amount of style.

— however, intelligence and knowledge is not everything, and sometimes you tend to people please often to avoid conflict. remember that sometimes conflict is necessary to inspire change and it is okay to be truthful.

— also be careful not to become to vain, manipulative, or self-centered.

— make sure to be careful about how "flirty" or "friendly" you come off to others. your friendless can translate to "they want to fuck me" to another person. so, clear and honest communication is VITAL. they just can't resist ;)

— you probably have a nice social media account. pretty pictures os a certain aesthetic.

— some people can even be jealous of how fluidly and elegantly you communicate. people may gossip a lot about you, especially on social media or what you post on social media.

— since aphrodite can also show what you get jealous about in others (based on the lore of aphrodite), you could ironically be jealous of how others communicate, express themselves, or even manifest.

— also, because mercury rules perception and environment, you could see the world through rose-colored glasses. you like to see the good in the world and try to improve it everyday.

— you probably prefer a beautiful environment to perform or feel your like your best self.

— you also probably have a youthful appearance, or appear younger than you are. you might age beautifully.

let me know your feedback, thought, or own observations. until next time, with much love, E ♡

[illumiera]

WIP Not-Wednesday

I've been low on writing energy as a result of Various Ongoing IRL Events™, but the fabulous @nocturance tagged me to do WIP Wednesday not too long ago (thank you! 💖) and I figured I might as well give my motivation a poke by sharing a little somethin' somethin':

When he glances up again, she is standing before him once more, and in her hands is— It's his staff, but at the same time, it cannot be his staff. “You need something to help you while you walk, and, well, this is yours,” Elentari starts as she offers it out to him, and Miraak is struck by the note of uncertainty in her voice, as though even she wonders at herself, at how it is that she can undo death and the workings of Daedra both. “When I—When I brought you back, your eyes weren’t the only thing I… changed. It seems I restored this, too, and your sword and your mask.” “Restored it?” His own voice is scarcely a hair above a whisper; he reaches out, and with the tip of a trembling finger, he traces the rivers of gold veining the varnished wood like a repaired crack in pottery, the gleaming scales adorning the dragon’s head and the miniature golden points of its teeth, and the glittering wildfire gemstones of its eyes. “No, it… it was never like this,” he breathes as his grip curls around it. “Whatever you did when you saved this soul of mine, Elentari, ‘restored’ is not the word I would use. ‘Blessed’, perhaps, or ‘sanctified’—” “I just—” She shakes her head. “I didn’t know what I was doing, not really; it could have been anything, and I don’t think it would have mattered to me. All I wanted in that moment was—” Her eyes, wide and silver-touched in the pale starglow, search his for an answer he cannot give to her. Nor would he, not even if he could: with an ache as keen and sharp as a pang of hunger, he wants to hear her speak it aloud, to hear her tell him that he is what she yearned for so much that it eclipsed all else. “All I wanted in that moment was for you to come back,” she finishes softly, “a-and I didn’t care what form you took as long as you were here.” His staff is still in her hands, but it slips from her grasp with the gentlest pull. Miraak clutches it for something to do with himself, all too aware that he would otherwise lurch forwards, crush her against him, and simply lose himself in the perfect flesh-and-blood realness of her. “And here I am,” he says with a tender, triumphant smile. Elentari’s shoulders rise and fall with a long, slow breath, as if she, too, must pause and usher herself away from the same ledge. “And here you are,” she confirms, and it’s like the shadow of a cloud passing overhead, the practised, precise way she drops the shutters and blinks herself back to stable ground. “You wanted to see the skies, didn’t you? Come on, then.”

there, a little bit of a Miraak and Elentari in a Predicament of Pining for you all! now, I tag some of my talented mutuals @bougainvillea-and-saltwater, @kiir-do-faal-rahhe, @shitty-drawer, @bunniletto, and @bostoniangirl21 to join in if they'd like to share anything (no pressure whatsoever)! ✨

[ragnarlothcat]

23 (Favorite picture of this character?) for Obi-Wan, 4 (If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?) for Darth Vader, and/or 13 (What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?) for Quinlan!

Ooh such variety, thank you 🥰 (For the character ask game)

23. Favorite picture of this character? (Obi-Wan)

It's a classic for a reason but:

He's so handsome and he's leaning in a sexy way (he totally is, don't deny it) and his hip is cocked and his hair is moving in the wind and his belt makes his waist look great and he's being so kind and understanding and he doesn't know that Anakin is going to ruin everything in like 24 hours (goddammit Anakin how could you, look at him!!!) and it's very important to me.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in? (Darth Vader)

I think that the MCU would benefit from the addition of Darth Vader! One of the issues with that franchise is that most of the villains are generic underwritten messes who are evil because the plot demands it, not because they have any personality or motivation whatsoever. Say what you will about Vader but this man has BACKSTORY and he also has style and a complete disregard for human life and Disney already owns all of them and I think they're doing multiverse stuff currently? Drop Vader in the MCU and let him fuck up a whole new society and when one of them makes an inappropriate quip that interferes with Vader's Serious Brooding he can snap their necks.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot? (Quinlan)

Admittedly I haven't read Quinlan's books so my understanding of him is limited to the shows but my immediate thought is

😏

Honestly it might be more fanon than canon which, my bad, but to me he gives off the energy of Obi-Wan's brother who is annoying him on purpose because it's funny. I love that for him.