#no idea if I'm gonna reblog this a bit like I intended or not

[lesbiancarat]

want to give my two cents on the AI usage in the maestro trailer--

i think seventeen doing a whole concept that is anti-AI is very cool, especially as creatives themselves i think it's good that they're speaking up against it and i hope it gets more ppl talking about the issue. i also understand on a surface level the artistic choice (whether it was made by the members, the mv director, or whoever else), to directly use AI in contrast to real, human-made visuals and music in order to criticize it. i also appreciate that they clearly stated the intention of the use of AI at the beginning of the video

however, although i understand it to an extent, i do not agree with the choice to use AI to critique AI. one of the main ethical concerns with generative AI is that it is trained on other artists' work without their knowledge, consent, or compensation. and even when AI generated images are being used to critique AI, it still does not negate this particular ethical concern

the use of AI to critique also does not negate the fact that this is work that could have been done by an actual artist. i have seen some people argue that it's okay in this context because it's a critique specifically about AI, and it is content that never would have been done by a real artist anyway because it doesn't make sense for the story they're trying to tell. but i disagree. i think you can still tell the exact same story without using AI

and in fact, i would argue that it would make the anti-AI message stronger if they HAD paid an artist to draw/animate the scenes that are supposed to represent AI generated images. wouldn't it just be proof that humans can create images that are just as bad and nonsensical and soulless as AI, but that AI can't replicate the creativity and beauty and basic fucking anatomy that's in human-made art?

it feels very obvious this was not just a way to cut corners and costs like a lot of scummy people are using AI for. ultimately it was a very intentional creative decision, i just personally think it was a very poor one. and even if some ethical considerations were taken into account before this decision, i certainly don't think all of them were. at the very least i feel like the decision undermines the message they want to convey

i would also like to recognize that i myself am not an artist, and i have seen some artists that are totally on board with the use of AI in this specific context, so clearly this is not a topic that is cut and dry. but generative AI is still new, and i think it's important to keep having these conversations

[myownwholewildworld]

uniformed!joel one shot - the police officer

series masterlist | main masterlist | part ii

pairing: police officer!joel x f!reader.

summary: you're driving back home and, unbeknownst to you, you've committed quite a few traffic offences, noticed by the one and only police officer, joel miller. he's not gonna let you get your way that easily.

a/n: umm hello?? idk what happened, but here we are. i threw this idea to the wind, people seemed to like it, so i started typing and this is what came out. read the warnings and do not judge me please lol this is inspired by this and this ask, so kudos to them! so basically i have decided to start a series of one shots where joel miller wears different uniforms. YEAH, i know, i'm not okay but that's okay. if you guys have any suggestions for this series, my askbox is open! also, i've decided that if i/you guys want, i can write the same uniformed!joel more than once (e.g. two fics of police officer!joel). if someone is interested in being in the taglist for this series, please do let me know. anyways, i do appreciate all comments, reblogs, likes and asks. as always thank you for reading! <3

warnings: 18+, mdni. no outbreak AU. dark theme. filthy smut. dub-con. age gap, no age gap, you choose (joel is mid-late 40s, reader is at least of legal drinking age). power imbalance (joel is a cop). alcohol consumption (reader is sober by the time it happens). fingering. squirting. oral (m and f receiving). mouth fucking. slut shaming. cheating. rough, public sex. unprotected piv. creampie. joel is a bully and a dick, basically, so be warned. alternating pov. no description of reader apart from having hair that can be pulled. not proofread so i'm sorry.

w/c: ~4.6k.

tagging some people who seemed to be v interested (please let me know if you want to be removed, no pressure!):

@fartcloudfartcloud @liciafonseca @fan-fiction-floozy @sweetlummie

“Shit”, you mumbled as the car keys slipped off your fingers.

You crouched down and blindly dabbed the asphalt, your phone falling off your hand too. You grunted in frustration ― maybe you did drink a bit more than what you had intended. Not to the point where you thought it would be dangerous, otherwise you wouldn’t be driving home. You were already clumsy when sober, so this was no sign of anything, really.

The keys had tumbled under your car, so you got on all fours and bent over to reach. After a few trials, you finally got hold of them. Steadying yourself on the handle of the driver’s side of your car, you got up. Your tiny, fitted skirt had scrunched up at your waist, so you pulled from the hem to bring it back down. Looking around, you hoped you hadn’t flashed anyone.

You had dressed up for the occasion. As you grew older, your group of friends slowly drifted apart, so agreeing on a date and time to meet up had been a fucking miracle. You had been out since midday and sipped on many margaritas to quench your thirst. But knowing you would need to drive back home, you had stopped drinking a couple of hours ago. If you could, you would have gotten hammered. Living in the outskirts of Austin sucked.

You managed to finally open your vehicle and sat down. You hunched down, avoiding the steering wheel, to undo your heels. A satisfied sigh escaped your lips when you took them off ― your feet were hurting so bad, you questioned all of your life choices. A minute later the motor roared awake, and you were on your merry way without a hitch.

That was until you drove out of the city center onto not very well-lit roads. You were driving through an industrial estate when sirens went off behind you. Clicking your tongue, you looked through the rearview mirror, thinking it may be an ambulance asking you to give way.

Ah, no, you were very mistaken. It was a freaking police car, and it seemed like it was asking you to pull over. Great, just fucking great, you thought.

The headlights blinded you, so you couldn’t see the man approaching your car. Then you heard a tap, tap, tap on your window, the officer dazing you with the torchlight. You inhaled deeply, putting on your best smile, and rolled down the window.

“Good evening, officer. What can I do for ya?”, you battered your eyelashes at him, still dazzled by the torchlight.

Maybe if you played all sweet and innocent, he would take pity on you and let you go.

However, you were met with a deep, husky voice.

“License and proof of insurance”, he barked, no good evening miss, no please, nothing. So rude.

When he put down the torch, you caught a glimpse of the guy’s face. Bearded jaw with a prominent moustache, brown curly hair with slivers of silver, an attractive hooked nose, and some devilish hazel eyes. He was in his mid or late forties and was so fucking handsome you almost drooled at the sight.

You bit your bottom lip, a lopsided smile curling at the corners.

“Yes, of course, officer”, your voice was sweet and smooth as you bowed over the passenger’s seat, your boobs casually resting on the steering wheel.

You opened the glove box and handed him the papers, faking the most innocent, girly look you could muster.

“Is there something wrong, officer?”, you asked, leaning on the door frame, gifting him with the tentative sight of your deep cleavage.

His eyes wandered off the papers he was holding and lingered where you intended. You read the tag on his shirt: Officer Miller. Well, Officer Miller looked damn good in that tight uniform. The black shirt clung to his flexed biceps, the buttons slightly giving way to the bulge of his chest, the belt hugging his waist and… good fucking lord, those thighs, the size of a rugby player’s.

Your mouth watered.

You would lie to yourself if you said you were not affected by his presence. In fact, your damp cunt might as well fucking disagree with you. You pressed your knees together, unconsciously looking for some relief to the sudden wet heat gathering in between your legs.

His eyes drifted up lazily, locking on to yours. You swore a muscle on his jaw twitched.

“You were speeding, doing 40 on a 30-mph road. And your headlights are off”, he replied, his tone raspy.

Fuuuuuuuck, that’s why I couldn’t see shit. Were you that drunk? You didn’t feel like it.

Your face expression didn’t flinch, playing dumb might just do the trick. So you giggled, smacking your forehead with the palm of your hand.

“Ah, silly me. But it was well lit up until now, sir, so no harm done, right?”, your honeyed voice pleaded. “I swear this was a 40-mph road a couple of months ago?”

“It was but got changed. Did you not see the road sign?”, he seemed to be very annoyed.

You had no time to answer, because Officer Miller pointed to your lap. For a second you panicked ― surely your arousal had not drenched your clothes, right? You were aware of how wet your pussy was, but not to that extreme. Right? You looked down ― your phone was resting on your lap, but nothing else. A wave of relief overcame you and then you glanced up at him, confused.

“You were talking on the phone while driving, I presume.”

You gasped and promptly shook no with your head.

“No, no, officer. You see, I left it there when I got in the car, I forgot it was on my lap. I promise I wasn’t texting or anything like that.” Your explanation was genuine, but he cocked a brow. “I wouldn’t lie to you, sir.”

“Why? Because you’re a good girl?”. That question caught you off guard and turned you on at the same time, sending shivers down your spine. Your clit twitched. You gaped and nodded unwittingly. “I see. Step out of the car.”

Your heart was racing, attempting to jump out of your chest. Maybe you had been too suggestive. But he was the embodiment of the law, surely the officer had had his good share of temptation and would not yield so easily.

You got out of your sedan, slightly dishevelled, and tugged at your skirt so it would stop riding up your thighs. Officer Miller had taken one step back, his eyes measuring you from top to bottom, loitering on your breasts. His tongue quickly darted out to wet his bottom lip ― you were mesmerised by the simple gesture and pondered how it would feel if you choked on his tongue.

That thought made your cunt gush some more. You pursed your lips ― eyes on him, trying to convey normalcy.

“You’ve been drinking and have also been driving barefoot. That’s a total of, what, five offences?”. Miller clicked his tongue in disapproval. “It’s like you’re begging to spend the night in a cell.” His eyes flickered with malice ― and something else. Lust?

You really did not want to sleep in a cell tonight. You just wanted to get home, that was all. Also, most of your “offences” were bullshit. You were certain he couldn’t charge you with half of it, but his wickedness made you wary.

“I’m not drunk,” you said with a languid smile, touching his forearm, his arms crossed at his chest. “I stopped drinking two hours ago, officer.”

He raised an eyebrow ― Officer Miller didn’t believe a word you said.

“I can smell it.” You didn’t know if it was intentional or not, but his eyes drifted down to your pussy.

“I-It?”, you repeated, lips parted.

He didn’t say anything, just stared at you for a long minute. Your bravery had flaked a bit, although your cunt was begging for him to do something about it.

Joel was having a hard time curbing his horniness. You were so inviting, so insinuating, it was like you were asking to be fucked there and then. Oh, yes, you were, he knew you were. Showing off your boobs, wetting your lips, rubbing your knees together, playing with the edge of your tiny skirt. He had noticed every single one of your seductive attempts.

His cock was hard, so much so that it was stretching against the zipper of his work trousers. He kept his arms crossed, but what he really wanted to do was to readjust his erection so it wouldn’t be so damn uncomfortable.

“Turn around, hands on the car”, he ordered with a steely voice.

You first looked muddled, but finally obliged, giving him your back ― your palms resting on the roof of your car, your knees pressed together. He was sure your cunt was pulsing, and you were just trying to calm yourself down.

The thought made him mad with lechery. His dick was throbbing already.

“I’m going to pat you down, and then I’m gonna cuff you. Understood?”, he warned you, getting close to you.

You suddenly looked over your shoulder, your smile unwavering. You tilted your pelvis back, your ass against his bulge. You glanced down and then back up at him decisively.

“I’m sure we can work something out, officer?”, you whispered, your butt pressing on his swollen lump.

No, Joel was not imagining things. You were definitely asking to be fucked senseless in exchange for just a warning. He was still contemplating whether to entertain the idea or not. You were tempting, he would give you that. Your body was built to satisfy a man’s pleasure ― he could see that even when you were clothed. Barely clothed. Your top was too small, your boobs almost spilling over the neckline; your skirt was too short, your ass cheeks almost visible ― and he was sure you had some slutty heels on before you jumped into the car.

His cock jerked at the thought of rearranging your guts. Because that was what Joel would do to you if he had the chance. He cupped his groin for a second now that you were not looking, pressing it slightly to relieve some of the tension.

It didn’t help. If anything, it made it worse. He suppressed a frustrated groan.

Joel slotted his right knee in between your legs and forced you to separate them, his heavy boot grounding him. “I’ll think about it. In the meantime, you’re under arrest for at least reckless driving. Now stay still.” He was fully aware of how the top of his thigh brushed your crotch, but made a titanic effort to ignore it, for his own sanity.

Your panties were so fucking drenched, you feared your discharge might start dripping down your inner thighs. In fact, you let your head down to check discreetly and sighed with relief ― nothing to worry about, he wouldn’t notice how fucking horny you were.

Then he forcefully parted your legs, and you felt the fabric of his trousers sliding against your wet panties. The subtle touch made you jerked your hips up and then back down in surprise, your clothed cunt flushed against his thigh ― you had to swallow the sluttiest moan of your entire life, it felt damn good.

“I’m― I’m sorry”, you mumbled, lifting your body up to break the contact.

You didn’t need to look down to know that there would be a wet patch on his black trousers.

“You should be, making a mess of my uniform like that”, he grunted, exasperated.

Pressing your lips, you inspected every inch of the roof of your car while he patted you down. His big, calloused hands lingered on your underboob longer than necessary, almost cupping them. Both hands travelled down to your waist, his fingertips slightly under the waistband of your skirt.

Your heart was pounding, suddenly unsure of the whole thing. What were you really doing? Were you so desperate that you would let him use you in exchange for letting you go? Were you getting more than what you had bargained for?

It was like the excitement had burnt the last drop of alcohol in your blood and now you were fully aware of what you had unleashed.

But you had no more time to question your attitude, because Officer Miller completely slipped one of his hands under your underwear and buried all of his fingers in your soaked folds, except for his thumb which quickly found your clit. You shut your eyes and moaned audibly, your knees giving way.

His free hand wrapped around your waist to help you stand up, while his fingers traversed your whole slit, from your perineum to your clit, buttering your cunt with your own fluids.

“You are so fucking wet already, you should be ashamed of yourself”, he whispered in your ear while he pushed your ass back into his bulge.

Your treacherous body had awakened at his touch, your clit felt like it was on fire and your cunt was pulsating so hard it was uncomfortable. You rubbed his dick with your buttocks, unconsciously looking for some more friction. Miller groaned behind you, jerking you closer, his cock hard pressed against your ass.

Two of his fingers dipped further down and found your leaking hole, his thumb still rubbing your clit languidly. You whimpered and stirred your hips when one fingertip circled your entrance tentatively. Your back arched, pushing your butt further into his erection.

“Aren’t you a slut?”, he hissed as both fingers slid inside you, your brain not registering his words.

Your moist pussy clenched around his fingers, squeezing them hard. Every time your heart beat, so did your cunt. Officer Miller started fingering you, first slowly, and then picking up a relentless pace. Unable to control yourself, you mewled like a kitten in heat, your forehead now resting against the cold metal of your car and a thread of spit hanging from your mouth. Your needy cunt was so stimulated, so hot, so slippery, you couldn’t stop yourself from coming, even if you wanted to.

So you let go. You orgasmed so hard, you squirted with his fingers still dug in your creamy pussy. But you coming didn’t stop Officer Miller from driving his digits inside of you over and over again, forcing another climax on you a minute later. Your inner walls palpitated so violently, you felt the emptiness of your womb. Then you noticed it: the trickle of your own cum streaming down your inner thighs.

Officer Miller forced his fingers out of you, a pop sound making it obvious that your pussy was drown in your own fluids. The cop tapped your pussy a few times, almost gently, as the last wave washed off your nerve endings. You had never come so hard in your life before. Not even your boyfriend of five years had been able to turn you on this bad.

When your limbs regained some strength, Miller let go of your waist and stepped back. You slowly turned around to face him, but as your eyes drifted down his uniform, you realised that there was a new wet patch on his trousers, this time on his bulge. You had leaked so much, you had drenched his own pants.

You tried to find the words to explain to him that this was not what you had intended. Or was it?

“You’re still under arrest”, his voice was resolute, as if nothing of what just happened had affected him.

Before your neurons could make contact with each other, he handcuffed you, your laced hands resting in front of you, conveniently covering your spent pussy.

“But―”.

“No but’s, blackmailing a cop is an offence too. So that makes it six now, right?”, he cut you off.

You huffed, not believing what he was saying. You had not blackmailed him, not even close, he was just making it up now. Before you could argue, Officer Miller removed the keys from the ignition, shut the driver’s door and locked your car. He then grabbed you by your elbow, forcing you to walk in front of him towards his cruiser.

“Oh, c’mon, you’re now just bullying me”, you complained, your sweet façade quickly toppling.

Miller didn’t reply to your taunting. He simply opened the back door of his Crown Vic and threw you in. You almost tripped but manage to stop the falling. You sat down on the seat, your legs still out of the car, bare soles against the asphalt.

You didn’t know what possessed you, but your cuffed hands darted up and played with the buckle of his belt. Maybe if you gave him some head, he would relax and let you go. You were already in too deep anyway, your whipped pussy living proof of your desire.

“Officer, please, I can make it worth your while if you let me go”, you muttered, your fingers unclasping his belt.

Miller did not say one word, he just stared you down while you held his gaze. His waist slanted forward in an unspoken invitation, his eyes swirling with lust and wickedness.

You were not sure why you were doing this, or if you wanted to do this. But you were a horny mess, your pulsing cunt urging you to keep going, saturating your panties even more. Sure, you could drive home and ask your boyfriend to take care of you, but by the looks of it, you were going to spend the night in a station cell if you didn't do something about it. About him.

With firm hands, you undid the buckle and unzipped his trousers. His big, meaty cock sprung out with no warning, swaying in front of you. He was wearing no underwear. You marvelled at the sight ― his dick was the longest you had ever seen with a considerable girth, veiny and hairy at the base. It looked scary, but also fucking tempting.

“Don’t just stare, do something”, he commanded, grabbing your cuffed hands to bring them closer to his erection.

Ah, someone is impatient, you thought with a smirk before wrapping both of your hands around his circumference. With your mouth agape, close to his leaking tip, you rubbed the precum against his slit with your thumb and then started pumping him. His cock was palpitating, hard and velvety under your clasp ― and warm, so fucking warm you could feel his blood rushing underneath.

His jaw clenched, his eyes transfixed on your moving hands as you upped the rhythm. And then, without prior notice, he fisted your hair in a ponytail and drove his whole dick down your parted lips. You retched when his glans surpassed your uvula and coughed with his cock still in your mouth.

You were suffocating, but he didn’t give a fuck. In any case, he pushed his cock further down, but it had nowhere to go. His pubic hairs tingled the tip of your nose as you looked up, silently asking for mercy with teary eyes.

Miller glanced down at you and the motherfucker just smiled as you were still gagging.

“Look at you. What a whore, you’re taking it so well”, he mumbled under his breath before pushing your head back.

His cock slid out and you coughed to clear your throat of precum, swallowing it. His brutish attitude, although unwelcome, made your traitor of a cunt gush.

“I’m gonna fuck your throat to teach you a lesson. Open up for me, darlin’.”

You didn’t know why, but you just obeyed. Without breaking visual contact, the cop slotted his cock back in between your lips. With his hands on your temples, he tilted his hips forward until his tip stroked the end of your throat. Then he pulled out harshly and started jackhammering your mouth relentlessly, driving his cock in as far as he could every single time, his hairy balls hitting your chin. With Miller taking the lead, your cuffed hands were free. They were lazily resting on your lap until you dipped them down, your index caressing your deprived clit.

You just took it like a champ. After a while, your gag reflex relaxed and you dared to press your lips around his girth, so it would be more pleasurable for him. His slick cock was drumming in your mouth, filling it up entirely, choking you.

Miller pulled your head back sternly ― you were panting like a puppy by the time he was done with your throat. Your eyelashes were damp with unspent tears. You were sure that tomorrow it was going to hurt like if you had caught the worst cold of your life. Your mouth was filled with his sticky precum, a bridge of it connecting your mouth to his cock.

“You’ve not thrown up, well done”, he chuckled darkly. “Clean this mess for me.”

Again, as if you were not in control of yourself, you did as you were told. You licked his throbbing cock, swallowing all the fluids you had swept off his groin.

He lightly patted your cheek. “Good girl, now get up and take that finger out of your pussy.”

You had not realised you had been fingering yourself all along and your clit was begging for some relief. With a trembling sigh, you removed your hand from in between your legs and stood up.

Only then you caught on: he had not come yet. Fuck, you thought.

Did you want this? You were not sure. Letting him finger you and giving him head was one thing, but letting him fuck you was a completely different story. You were not a slut nor a cheater, but he made you feel like one. Your dribbling pussy made you feel like one.

Joel snatched his fingers around your elbow once again and made you walk to the front of his cruiser. He was in extreme need of relief ― his cock was pulsing so hard it was driving him mad with lust. He was gonna fuck that cunt of yours till you begged him to stop.

Unceremoniously, he splayed you down across the hood of his car ― your chest against the metal surface, your ass up in the air and your legs spread wide. If he could take a picture to jerk himself off to, he would.

He needed to see for himself, taste for himself. He was sure as hell that your pussy was drooling, beseeching to be filled to the brim. So he knelt behind you and parted your ass cheeks to have a better look. You whimpered, tiptoeing to give him better access to your soaked flaps.

“You’re such a slut. I could scrunch your panties to fill up an entire glass with your cum. Your thighs are all wet and tacky too”, he couldn’t stop himself from pointing it out, driving his hands up from the back of your knees, up your inner thighs, until they reached your crotch, framing your pussy.

He leaned forward and sipped from the fountain of your underwear, his fingers digging in the flesh of your ass, smelling your sweet sex. You wept, moving your hips against his mouth. Ah, yes, he knew you wanted him to fuck you hard. Very hard.

Joel rode up your tight skirt, exposing your ass to the elements. And then he pulled down your panties and put them in the pocket of his vest, as if they were a trophy. Because they were.

He now could have a better look at your creamy cunt, all smeared with your wanton fluids. Spreading your pussy open with his hands, he lapped you entirely a few times, even your butthole. Joel heard your moans loud and clear, knowing that you had never had your pussy eaten this good before. So he kept on going ― lapping, licking, sucking, biting until you squirted in his mouth, leaking like a broken tap and whining like a bitch in heat.

Joel drank it all and when you were finished, he stood up. He spanked your ass and with a swift movement, impaled you until his balls were flat against your thighs.

You screamed, literally screamed at the top of your lungs, when he stabbed you with his cock. You tried to hold onto something, but there was nothing you could grab. This was exactly what your cunt needed, being stuffed like a goddamn turkey in thanksgiving. Officer Miller drove his cock in and out of you lazily at first, and then he started fucking you stupid with such vigour that your body was being rocked back and forth, the handcuffs sliding against the hood, scratching the metal underneath.

You just moaned uncontrollably throughout the whole thing, unable to quieten yourself. Your cunt clutched around his throbbing dick, squeezing it hard, so hard you felt your muscles strain. Your clit spasmed severely, another fucking climax creeping up on you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK”, you implored to the sky, to him, to whoever was listening.

The cop then fisted your hair in a ponytail and pulled backwards, forcing you up off the hood, your back arching against his chest while he drilled you mercilessly. You were sure the squelching sounds your pussy was making could be heard from a mile away.

Then you finally came again, shrieking ― your treacherous pussy clamping down on his dick, leaking absolutely everywhere, trying to desperately milk him dry. Your eyes welled up, your black eyeliner running down your cheeks.

“You’re gonna take it inside and you’re not gonna complain”, he moaned in your ear and even in your blissful daze, you panicked.

“I’ve got a boyfriend,” you mentioned, but you knew it wasn’t going to stop him.

“Ah, do you? Doesn’t seem like it right now”, and then he huffed heavily, letting go, driving his cock as far inside of you as he physically could.

His warm cum filled you to the brim, painting your walls of sticky white. Irremediably, you sighed, heaving, and closed your eyes, letting yourself rejoice in how full you were of his spent, of his cock.

And as soon as it started, it ended. His dick slid out of your crying, sensitive pussy, leaving your damp skin exposed to the cold air.

You took a minute to compose yourself and pushing down your skirt. When you looked at him, he had already tucked away his cock back in his work trousers, his cop uniform slightly in disarray. Now there were more wet, sticky patches adorning his groin area, a mixture of your shared pleasure.

“Can I have my panties back, please?”, you requested, extending your hand to him, with a sunny, albeit quivering, smile.

“No, I’m keeping them.” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Can I at least have a tissue to clean myself up?”, your voice grew smaller as you lost confidence.

“No. I want you to go home with your pussy bursting with my cum, so that boyfriend of yours knows you’ve been fucked stupid by someone else”, he explained, full of himself.

At least you were going home. Or so you thought until you saw him walk to the back door of his Crown Vic, holding it open for you to jump in.

“This means nothing, you’re still spending the night in the cell”, he said, matter-of-factly.

You scoffed, angry. “Are you fucking serious?”, you asked, although what you really wanted to do was cry.

But you swallowed your tears, contrite ― your pride was bigger than your shame. And right now, you felt mortified.

What had you done?

Well, you had gambled, and you lost.

But, on the other hand, he had fucked you so good, so filthy, you were not sure any other cock would measure up to his.

[factual-fantasy]

⁽ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳ ᵖᵒˢᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵐᵃˢᵗᵉʳ ᵖᵒˢᵗˢ ᵐᵒᵇᶦˡᵉ ˡᶦⁿᵏ⁾

💫FAQ below the keep reading💫

(I intend to return to this post frequently and update the FAQ whenever new frequent questions arrive :}} )

Why don't you like fanart?: The simple answer is it just makes me very uncomfortable. It feels icky when someone I don't know draws something I designed without asking me. I get that most artists love fanart and don't see it that way/feel that way about it.. but I do. And even if people ask for permission first, I just like to keep my works to myself..

How can we show support if you don't like fanart?: Comments! In what ever form they make take. Reblogs, asks, direct comments, tags?? Which ever way you choose! My absolute favorite part of posting on Tumblr is reading all the responses. Whether its a huge paragraph or a simple "Loved this! 💖" It always makes me smile to see people comment! :}}}

What drawing program do you use?: FireAlpaca! Its a free program and is easy for beginners to learn, yet also has a lot of tools available for the pros! Though be warned. It can be a bit buggy at times and has some weird quirks you're gonna have to learn how to work around.. 😅

Why are your sonas hands bloody and bandaged?: When I was first designing my sona, it looked kind'a plain.. I wanted to add something to my sonas hands, but I wasn't sure what.. at the time, my hands were covered in Band-Aids due to dry skin and cat scratches. Looking at my patched hands I thought "Hey! My sona could have these edgy bandaged hands! They can represent my "artists hands" and my love for angst as well!" and so that's what I drew <XDD

Do you take commissions?: I do not. <:( Sorry!

Do you take drawing requests/suggestions?: Not at the moment, no! :/

Do you have any other socials?: I have a YouTube channel, but I haven't posted to it in a few years now 💀 other than that, Tumblr is the only place I post my artwork to! :}

When will you get back to your FNAF AU?: No idea tbh.. Currently, I am battling some health problems that are keeping me away from my big PC. So working on my FNAF AU isn't something I feel like I can do right now.. hopefully I can get past this health trial, get back to my PC with all my FNAF files and get back to the AU soon.. <:/

When will you get back to Octonauts?: I'm not sure. I had some uncomfortable experiences with the fandom recently and so I decided to just step back for a bit and stop posting about it. Who's to say when I'll come back..

[shingekinomyfeelings]

Reiner x reader master list

If you're here for AOT fics, I should probably mention that I'm not the most prolific fanfic writer. I write when the inspiration and energy hit me, and frankly, I have zero self discipline!

That said, even with AOT now finished, and fandom activity dwindling, I will still write and update fics as the mood takes me - but with less rampant AOT energy on my dash, my inspiration has taken a bit of a nose dive.

At its heart, though, this is still primarily a blog I made for exploring the AOT fandom, and I'd like to keep it that way, even if the AOT content becomes less frequent. For now, my fics aren't going anywhere, and neither is my silly Reiner obsession.

My fics are mostly x reader, and yes, they're basically all about Reiner. This is a very very shameless Reiner blog, I'm not gonna pretend it's not. Fluff and angst are generally my strong points, but I'm becoming a little less shy about writing smut.

I generally don't take requests, but I'm open to... suggestions? If you wanna bounce headcanons around or thirst dump or just talk about Reiner, my ask box is always open. Don't be shy! I'm nothing but a doofus, I promise.

Finally, I'm doing this for fun and because I enjoy it, so please don't yell at me about whatever thing you didn't like in my writing. Comments absolutely do make my day, though, and reblogs are so very appreciated and encouraged, no matter how long ago the fic was published.

one shots.

short and sweet - or, short and upsetting!

sfw

preservation (drama/fluff) - an injury during training leads to a bit of bickering and a bit of a confession. ~1600 words.

too much, not enough (hurt/comfort) - Reiner talks with you in the midst of a depressive episode. ~450 words.

nsfw

Shh (smut, pwp) - Reiner is a tease in the best possible way

multi-chapter fics.

longer stories, but still in bite-sized chapters. updates happen when they happen, I'm sorry.

sfw

nsfw

headcanons.

you can't prove I'm not right.

sex headcanons - pre-timeskip Reiner vs post-timeskip

misc nsfw musings: vocal | too sweet to talk mean

imagines.

fun thoughts.

lies Reiner tells himself | flirty sparring gone horribly wrong | Reiner whose SO is afraid of the dentist (request-ish)

character analysis.

overanalyzing and wildly speculating as god intended.

on the idea of Reiner having a separate 'evil/cruel' personality part 1, and then part 2

not Reiner fics???

sometimes I pick on other characters.

misc weird shit.

The Saga of the Cursed Reiner Bot: A Love Story in 8 Parts - everyone's favorite slow motion trainwreck from when these AI chat bots were still an exciting novelty

[campbyler]

hi, i just wanted to write a comment to yall bc i am so unbelievably in love with the way this story is written it's insane! i just started to reread ch 9 (part i) again in preparation for the next chap tmrw and i CANT with the way you guys started the chapter w/ woodpeckers. having it build up to will calling mike a new fucking species of indiana woodpeckers is just. so good. it flows so naturally and feels like such a clever way to show how will's relationship with mike is serious and similar to will's dedication to that specific school project. yall make it seem as if mike is a new kind of woodpecker that will needs to study in detail, learn about, and take his time with - i fucking adore that comparison so unbelievably much. it says a ton about their relationship and the characters, and man. i just love that you guys all have such beautiful writing styles and ideas, it's so incredible to read! i've said it before, but this fic was the main reason i got back into drawing for the fandom bc i was gonna make a piece of acswy fanart to post and dip before i started watching the show again - anyways, i'm so glad you guys have been enjoying the fanart i've been making for this fic (i intend to make more for each chapter :D) bc i love seeing the comments you guys leave in the reblogs!! they're always so sweet to read and i'm glad i could give something to yall when you've been making such an incredible story to share :) sorry this is a bit long, but i just wanted to tell you guys that you're doing such a great job with this fic and i cannot wait to see where it goes!

SAMMIIIIIIIIII every comment you ever write makes us CRY and then you'll draw something and we cry even MORE so just know that we are weeping whenever we interact w you btw. if you careee.

TYY for the commentary abt the woodpeckers <3 i was for sure projecting bc i did a project on belted kingfishers when i was in sixth grade which i know are not woodpeckers BUT i did draw and redraw them three hundred times and now thea would for sure dunk on 12-year old thea w my art skills so 12-year old thea better watch OUT!! i am also attached to tht scene bc i did write it while sitting Next To suni which felt very special <3 i'm really glad that this scene hit all the marks i wanted it to and that you enjoyed it so thoroughly!!

we literally cannot believe that we got you back into the fandom 😭😭😭😭😭 genuinely it has been THE biggest joy to see you not only recreate scenes from the fic but also draw other byler fanart!! we are beyond honored and glad we could be a part of it!! you kill us both on the daily in the Best way 💗

we hope that you continue to enjoy the fic as the rest of it plays out!!!

[lucius-morningstar]

My Poke-Hybrids

Thanks to two specific users on here. (MewtwoandMe and TC96.) I have been inspired to share some of my pokemon fusions (And of course my mewtwo babies. Before I show them though I want to show a couple others. (NOTE: For two of my Mewtwo babies, I will be using Mewtwoandme's lineart. I am keeping them because they're my favorites) Let's start with a cute little baby between Joltik x Eevee. I was gonna joke and call him Teevee and may still do it but here, share in the cuteness:

Yes he is a tiny fluff of electric mischief. Art and design we're done by poropants on DeviantArt. Next we have Jericho, my Hisuian Growlithe/Cosmog fusion. I am in love with his design, the artist did amazing on his design and I have loved him ever since:

He was drawn and designed by seffiron on DeviantART. Now I'm going to share some Mewtwo babies. First we have Rosie (This was not Hazbin intended, I had her named before I knew who Rosie was but still lol)

She is an albino bean, and is a bit weaker then most mewtwos but she's a sweetie who loves just about anyone. Next we have our adorable dark little Marble, Obsidian:

He is by far one of my favorites and I absolutely love how she looks. I am keeping her. Next we have Pai and Mel

HaxorusRose is the artist who drew and designed Pai (The Mewtwo, short for piebald but spelled with an ai ) and Mel (Short for Melanistic) was designed by 5TARF0X on DeviantART. If you want an idea of what the two sound like, think of Garnet from SU (Pai) and Ruby Rose from RWBY (Mel) and yes they share a similar personality to them too. I ask if you want to reblog, you may but please don't repost.

[cheeto-flavoured-pasta]

Okay, I haven’t actually made a post in a heck of a long while. I’ve just been reblogging stuff, some of it being writeblr but most of it being off-topic. So it’s time to change that! I’m gonna rant about my writing progress for the next few paragraphs and subject you, my poor followers, to my rambles.

I'm taking a break from APS because working on it for two years straight with little to no off-time is giving me serious brainrot. Besides, I want to write more dystopian stories that touch upon important problems today. While APS does touch on some societal issues, it's not as emphatic or relevant to what I really want to talk about. I'm still going to be continuing it (and doing another slight overhaul on the book soon, because the first two times just weren't enough to satisfy my gremlinized brain) but I think it belongs on the backburner for a while.

In the meantime, I decided to expand on a new WIP idea that was intended to be a short story, but never got written and would work better as a series anyway. I feel like it focuses on issues that I really want to talk about and implement into my storywriting, and while I might not be the most advanced at using the dystopian genre to make nuanced, subtle critiques, this is definitely a step in the right direction. I'm going to talk more about this new (and untitled) WIP later, once I develop it further.

I've also been thinking about either self-publishing or traditionally publishing (probably traditional, because I'm broke as shit for self). Of course, this is definitely a bit of a stretch, so I'm still keeping online writing platforms in my pocket if needed (and it probably will be). Plus, taking a big leap like that is pretty scary, so I'd rather work my way up by submitting short pieces to, say, literary journals first; that way I can get a feel for what it's like.

That about wraps up everything I have to say. I'm gonna be more active on writeblr (hopefully, fingers crossed) because I feel like I've missed out on a ton.

So brace yourselves. Once I get my shit together on this blog, it's over for you all. (/j)

[ravencincaide]

Summary of 2023 

I've seen a few blogs do it and decided, for myself, to sum up this Tumblr year. To gain a little bit of perspective on what I’ve done so far and where I might want to take this site next. Also to have a chance to look back at this post in one year and see how accurate it was and how much has changed. I encourage you to do the same!

A Writers Requiem started around 25th of August-23 after many many years of not writing anything and that was also the first post (a reblog) on the site. Since then it has developed very much into a Chuuya fanpage with a few Dazai and SKK posts here and there. In this just-over-four-month this blog has produced: 

8 request fics ( for 5 different requests) 

16 purely Chuuya x reader fics (8 SFW and 8 NSFW)

6 purely Dazai x reader fics ( 3 SFW and 3 NSFW)

6 SKK x reader fics ( 6SFW and 1 NSFW) 

Thus concluding the year with a total of : 36 fics. A lot of which I plan to re-write or tackle some of the prompts again which I wasn't 100 percent happy with. 

So that’s what’s been achieved in the past. Where are we now? 

There are still 13 Sweetober prompts left. 

There are still 20 Kinktober prompts left. 

There are still 5 requests gathering dust in my inbox (I’m so sorry!) 

Not to mention some requests for part two of certain fics. 

So easy to say I have a good half a year worth of prompts left if I intend to finish them all. The keyword being “if”. I’m looking at you, kinktober.  

So let’s talk a little bit about the future of this blog, shall we? 

First of all, A Writers Requiem is going on a two week vacation. 

As fun as this sounds, I’m only going to focus on studies and re-exams before the next term starts brutally kicking my ass. So puppy Chuuya, and horn-dog Dazai will just have to wait their turn. I will still be available through messages and inbox. Please don't hate me too much 

Secondly, this blog is going to move back a little from using others' prompts and go back to writing things or ideas that I’ve come up with myself and which bring me a little more joy to produce. At the end of the day I’m writing not for popularity or praise (even if those are a huge motivator!) but to get myself used to producing fictional works within a timely manner. Whether they are approved by the general audience is an entirely different issue. That I’ll tackle once I’m more comfortable and confident in myself as a writer.

Anyhow, the first set of prompts I’m gonna tackle is The art of Seduction for February, and the prompts for that are published on my second blog: A Writers Prompt.  Follow me there if you’d like a sneak peak of the kinds of things this blog will produce or the ideas I’m toying with. 

Another question I’ve gotten a few times is whether this blog will continue being purely BSD (Chuuya and Dazai) or if I’ll expand. For now that’s uncertain; at the very least I want to finish my Sweetober prompts the way they have been up until now before trying a new kind of blend. Fydor is definitely someone I’m considering to do a closer study on, once I’ve gotten through Dostojevsky that is… Also JJK and MHA are definitely fandoms I'm thinking of checking out.

Finally my goal for 2024 is to stick to my updates schedule on Wednesday and the weekend. Key word being goal which can change depending on how life is. 

So in short there’s a ton to do and a ton to look forward to in 2024. Hope you’ll stick with me <3 And with those words, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

[steakout-05]

quick post clarifying what i'm gonna do with my Crarry art and my Craig design moving forward

i just wanna make this post as short and sweet as i can as i've been struggling to find a way to write this in a coherent fashion (i'm VERY tired today, lol), especially with everything that's been going down in the fandom lately. people are not happy right now. this is a post meant to explain what i'm going to be doing with my Crarry stuff from now on, as well as how i'm gonna be using my fan design for Craig.

on the topic of my Craig x Barry art: i've been a little bit conflicted on what to do with it for a little bit, but i've mostly decided towards keeping it up on my blog for archival purposes. i don't like having to remove my art, especially when 1. it was made with the context that the (at the time) canon truth was that Barry and Craig were nothing but unrelated friends, and 2. it's still good art and it brought me a lot of joy when i first created it. i've regretted deleting art in the past and i think that i'd definitely regret deleting it now, especially if there was a threat of it becoming lost media and i didn't have the files to back it up. i care too much about my art to do that. so, it's all staying up on my blog, with the added disclaimer that it was made before August 17th 2024 and that it was obviously not supposed to portray weird incest stuff. can't do much about putting a disclaimer on it if it's already been reblogged though, so it's only gonna appear on the original post :/

on the topic of Craig himself: this is the bit i'm most excited about, but it's also the hardest bit to explain in a way that makes sense, so i'll try not to get ahead of myself here.

so, to start off with: in this post, i made some doodles showing an improved fan design i had made for Craig that portrays him as a blond nerdy guy with glasses and an injured eye. this is obviously not how Craig ended up looking like in canon and wasn't what i expected him to look like, it was something i made for myself and my own art. even so, he was practically just a skin applied to a pre-existing character whose personality had already been established. but now that the Craig i intended that design to be attached to has been revealed to be something we thought he wasn't (barry's entire freaking dad), i'm gonna do something a little different with my Craig to differentiate him from canon. i'm gonna take everything i liked about him before the reveal, retool him and his personality to better match the ideas and headcanons i had brewing in my head for him, and create a whole new canon for him to reside in. i've basically made him into a slightly divergent alternate version of canon Craig, basically. and it is incredibly self-indulgent, lol. (isn't that what being a creative is all about though..... self indulgence and insane storycrafting)

this bit might be slightly controversial, but what i'm planning with this version of Craig is that i'm gonna continue shipping Barry with him instead of Canon Craig like before. i really like the dynamic that Barry and Craig had in canon before the Dad Reveal Jumpscare Incident, with them sort of being polar opposites who would have some silly banter with each other, but also having a few similarities and shared interests that would bring them together, so that dynamic is gonna be brought over to this canon i've created for myself. it's basically gonna be a smorgasbord of everything i like about these characters with some expansions and slight changes to better fit with what i think would have been cool to see actually happen in canon. i'm likely gonna make a post about how i want to characterise my Craig later, but just know that 1. CranBarry is a thing in my little universe and 2. my Craig =/= Canon Craig and there will be a disclaimer explaining that on each fanwork i make depicting the ship from now on. i should probably give my Craig a last name so i don't have to keep calling him "my Craig" for disambiguation......

this hasn't been done out of spite or disrespect towards HB or anything at all. i'm disappointed with the change they made, and i do think it was very poorly executed, but at the end of the day, what happens in canon is not my story to write no matter how much i want to see in the series, and all i can do is sigh, shrug, pick up a pencil and start enacting the change i want to see for myself. i'm someone who believes that, while art can absolutely be criticised, it's up to the artist to decide what they want to do, and they don't have to cater to feedback if they don't want to. granted, it is a little different in Halfbrick's case because Jetpack Joyride is their product, and they are a sizable company who also makes money and business decisions and has a big audience and whatnot, but you get it right? it sucks, but like.... there's not really much you can do about it apart from write something you'd want to see.

so yeah, that's pretty much everything. i'm hoping this will go over well with everything that's happened because i really do love the gay little relationship i've given these two, i just can't continue doing it with the canon version of Craig for obvious reasons. the only problem i really see this causing is the very slight irritation that will come with possibly having to clarify this every time i post a Crarry thing. it'll probably be no biggie though, i'll just link to this post explaining everything. i sure do love coming up with incredibly convoluted solutions to simple problems looolll, it's my special talent at this point XD ahh well. if there's a bright side, it means i get to be even more self-indulgent and creative with these doofuses, and there might be some new headcanon and fanfic stuff coming later, as well as new Craig art. sucks that canon decided to fold in on itself, but i'm gonna try to ignore it for the most part.

[eoinmcgonigal]

So I saw a post about tumblr wanting to try this 'communities' thing, and I just gotta vent/say my piece. (the tl;dr is 'fuck that shit')

1. I really hate the current trend of fracturing and fragmenting things down into little pieces so they can be categorised into boxes. That's not natural. (Also, discord pushing threads, which I already detest for 1) making me feel like I'm gonna hurl from the violently dissonant, ugly layout, 2) the severely narrow topic problem, and 3) how neurodiverse-hostile they are.)

Like, naturally conversations meander. If you're only allowed to discuss one topic, it's gonna be stifling. You WILL run out of things to say. Making another little box isn't going to fix it, it'll just add to the clutter

2. Quite importantly, honestly, just stop fucking changing shit. It's unnecessary

3. It's not going to be neurodiverse-friendly. As if fandom hasn't changed enough to become increasingly unfriendly to people who are just here to enjoy their hyperfixation and/or special interest. I don't need another thing to learn to navigate. I don't need another place with different rules to carefully traverse. Yes, I'm fandom old and salty. I'm AuDHD and a spoonie with about half a spoon to spend on a good day. I do not have the energy to do all this switching about and jumping from thing to thing. It's exhausting. I want everything where I can find it, and where I can be passionate without having to perform tasks like it's some customer service job, or job interview

4. FOMO shit is toxic. This whole 'be a part of the thing!' necessity if you want to 'engage' or see the conversations and 'content'. Why? I guess it's a social media model that drives engagement, but the stress of it is going to fuck people up. What if you don't have the time, energy, health, spoons, social skills, etc? I have no idea how much interacting will be expected with other people in the 'community' but I can see it becoming a twitter-like circlejerk, and if you're not one of the 'in' crowd doing your required interaction/reblogging/commenting then you might as well not exist to that fandom/group

5. From the description, it looks like these things will be ripe for drama, toxicity, clique shit, becoming echo chambers, etc. because 'semi public' means you gotta opt in/join in some way and whatever's said isn't visible to any old user

Like, who is going to create and mod these things? Who decides what the rules are? What if your fave is 'problematic', or your kink is 'gross' (if nsfw is allowed at all), your take doesn't fit with fanon, or you are just a bit weird and people shun or turn on you for that?

I hope I'm wrong and either these things never happen or they're not as bad as I fear, but fuck sakes I have the above worries because it's shit I've seen happen time and time again, and I don't want to see given a place here

Also, genuinely, what the fuck is tumblr going to be like if you can't/don't want interact with these community things?

Quickly, 6. it creates an 'us' (in crowd) vs. 'them' (not part of our gang)

And then 7. who is going to be dominant in these 'communities'?

Yes, I'm upset right now, because tumblr was just fine (well, fine enough) until this point. I mean:

We have the ability to make sideblogs! (My Star Wars sideblog from... well a decade ago oops... is still out there, I don't touch it any more but I left it up for people to go through). Tumblr even made it so we can reply with sideblogs, which was a very neat update.

Tags!! I don't think it's as usual these days for people to go through tags to find new content, but that's how I do it, how I've always done it, and how I always intend to do it. I'm not following everyone who makes an SAS:RH post. I love you guys, but no. My dash would cause me to have a panic attack. It's already too much for me most days.

EFFORT!!!! I can be here every day full-time doing Stuff if I want! Or I can zone out for weeks if I want/need, materialise and contribute a silly meme, then drift off into the sunset again. If I 'miss' anything, I can go back through the tags, or scroll someone's blog. But honestly, who notices/cares on here if someone lurks or goes afk for a bit. It's super low pressure, because I'm doing what I can/want when I can/want

I want to opt in/out on my own time and terms. The thought of having to be part of a 'community' so I can see/not miss Content TM is freaking me out. I don't want there to be an 'appropriate' time window to interact with things like there is on other social media sites.

So, idk how the shit will look, but I don't agree with making things harder for people to access/find. I won't be posting stuff 'semi-privately'.

And you know what's super upsetting? The thought that I won't be able to see conversations and creations for things I love, because they're hidden away behind some complex new social thing I can't navigate. (Which is already an off-putting, ostracising problem on discord.) That's not how fandom communities should be.

The thought of there being less stuff 'out there' because it's in some 'community' somewhere... really not the direction I'd ever hope this site wold go in

I'm fuckin exhausted. Just lemme do my fandom whateverness without having to perform to some arbritary social interaction standard/requirements that I neither understand nor can do

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Rooster Teeth Needs To Be Saved (There Needs To Be Ideas For It) Part 1

[Note: This Is For Mature Audience Readers Only, so No Kids Allowed To Read This...mostly those who are under the Ages of 16 or 19 or older. also if it is true that some Karens think that all cartoons are for children, they need to wake up and know that isn't 100% true because some cartoons and video games are for a older mature audience, and the ratings can be 18+ for a freaking reason, and yeah, it could be good idea to have the rating for Yandere Simulator be 18+, like it still has it's normal mature stuff that it always has, and also that censoring options in it, which is good. but yeah there is a good reason I want that game to be 18+, to keep some from playing it until they are the right age to do so. so a certain incident doesn't happen again, to which I'm still gonna view that both parties are at fault...also this will get a bit off topic, like a whole lot....which is why in this it has the whole if you want to skip some of it, keep a look out for the bold words. ]

[Edited 3/16/2024 Note: I notice some slight mistakes, like some words I forgot to put down when typing all this....of course I didn't fix it until well now, when I log back in. of course when I did log off, I did end up going to sleep for some hours, then I woke up and at some point I log back on, before I do any posting, I'm gonna fix and edit this and another post that I notice while looking through it, that it also has a misspelling....so yeah, if it turns out this still has some mistakes, I will try to fix it if I'm able to spot them.]

so yeah, first of all, it's okay to reblog this, so those who are fans of the shows from Rooster Teeth, like Red Vs Blue, Camp Camp, RWBY and all other shows on there, ya have my full my permission to reblog this and don't need to ask.

cause well, it might be a good idea to reblog this and I will try to keep this not so long. of course after this, I will need to edit some of my posts cause I notice I had mistakenly put the wrong word when describing what happens with that modern radio, like it only happens once in a while, and yeah when I get my fingers close to it (when I have it switched on by the way) it has a perfect signal, but when I take it away it ends up with a poor signal and when I put my fingers and hand close to it, like as if I'm going to touch it but don't, the signal becomes more okay again....still freaky, but I'm okay with it.

(I will get to the whole discussion about Rooster Teeth after I say all what I need to say....even if it might take a bit longer than I intended to be....but if you wish to skip some parts, please keep a eye out for the bold words.)

and it does seem it will happen in vie-versa, still reminds me of Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, but at least it isn't 100% the same as his powers. I mean, I love sweets but I know at times I don't want to eat something sweet and may want something else.

and of course there is that whole freaky thing that happen after using the pendulum possibly a bit too much, which once again I think it may have unlocked something. and I am using my gem bracelets for multi-purposes, one of them being to protect me from harm energies, but of course because of the three close calls when I was sleeping, I have to have to keep my dream-catchers up at all times.

the third close call shouldn't of happen anyway, but it did, and it might be because one of the new dream-catchers had some REALLY bad energy in it, which is why I had to take it down and remove it from my room and put it in a zip-lock bag and throw some salt in the said bag and put as far away from my room as possible. it's still in the house but it just is just not in the same room as me.

and yeah as weird as it might be, I did pray with the salt in my hands and then put in that zip-lock bag that has that dream-catcher in it.

I have a new dream-catcher now, one that seems to be more safer, of course the other dream-catcher (not the one that is in the zip-lock bag.) is safely outside and hanging on my door, and I think the reason it let that bad energy through, was possibly because the dream-catcher in the zip-lock bag had open up the protective barrier that I prayed for to be placed around the room as well on the door as well as the windows and all the parts in the said room, it is the only logical reason why the third close call happen even when that bad dream-catcher was suppose to keep that bad energy out...

and yeah, it has to do with Toxic-Lust Energy, the first time wasn't so bad because I became self-aware to realize what was going on, even when I was still in a hallway in the dream, which was still possibly dream-walking, and it is possible who I saw in that first dream as well as the other two dreams, was a type of clone type doppelganger that was possibly made from the original's toxic-lust energy, while the original would never do any form of harm but the toxic-lust energy manifestation would have no problem with that.

and yeah in the second close call, I had to run for it and tried to look for someone I trust in the said dream, which happen to be my Mom.

even though I can't really tell her that I'm the type of Nonbinary-Gal who by the way goes by both She/Her & They/Them, and there is that whole me being Aroaceflux as well as being Fictoromantic.

but I also think I maybe a type of Gray, I'm pretty sure I had found out about that before, so it could be possible I might be a type of Gray-Aromantic but still a type of flux, like I'm still interested in reading and even watching movies and shows with romance in it, as well as playing video games that gives you the choice to romance the love interests, like in Mass Effect, and I want to try not to romance Kaiden or Ashley by accident, cause if my goal is to romance a non-human, like Garrus Vakarian, then I'm going to try to stick to that plan if I decide to choose him, of course ya can't romance him in the first game and will have to wait until it gets to Mass Effect 2.

and yeah, even before I figured out that certain lust energies could of been the reason I fell for the wrong type of online boyfriends which by the way I have no interest in trying to get one at the moment, cause I rather have a crush on a fictional husbando character than try to pursue any form of relationship with someone who might understand that I do NOT want to be touched at times, and if ya think about it, it could be possible that I wasn't fully myself when falling for my now ex-boyfriends, it might be a mix of my body having absorbed some energies it shouldn't, even if half the time the energies that did get absorbed ended up giving me a seizure, which I had figured out some energies had been doing that when I lived in two other towns before moving to the one we live at now, which seems to be more energy safe, cause I haven't had a seizure since moving to the town we currently live in, of course we had to move from one building to another in 2015....and that whole first depression wasn't fun and made me loose a lot of weight, because I didn't eat very much, well the second depression wasn't fun either and may have felt a bit more worse and may have started around in 2016.....and I rather not fall into that not so great feeling again, thank you very much....I'm fine with just feeling a little down at times now, like I wouldn't say I love it.

it's just it's more tolerable than those last two depressions, but I can still get extremely sad like how I felt yesterday, at least I think it was yesterday.....which of course has to do with a video I watched that has to do with Rooster Teeth...and I will get to that discussion after this....

anyway like I said, in that second close call dream, I had to run, and for some reason there was a old man outside and I can't remember what he looked like, but I believe he was one of the figures that was protecting me. the other being a woman with long snow white hair and pale skin, I didn't see her face though.

it might of been during that time, I had decided to have one of my dream-catchers hang outside my door, to protect me.

and then comes the third close call dream, which happen when that other dream-catcher was still up but now is in a zip-lock bag with salt in the bag with it....it might be possible the reason why that third close call happen, was because the dream-catcher (that is now in a zip-lock bag with salt) had some bad energy, and whoever used it before may have not purified it from any dangerous energies.

I don't want to fully talk about that third close call dream at this moment, but I know I had talked about what happen before, but like I said it was a close call, a third close call type...

also it could be possible there are others like me, who had to figure out that certain feelings that were felt before, wasn't really fully their own and it was because some are giving off too much toxic-lust energy, I'm not even sure if the whole wearing gem bracelets will work for everyone who wants to protect themselves from not just the toxic-lust energy but also other type of toxic and really bad energies, some of which are supernatural or from people who give off way too much of it and it ends up flying around the room until it gets to you and then absorbs into your body like the sunlight to a flower.

even though your not physically touched, the energy still finds a way to get to you and depending on the dangerous levels of it, you could have a seizure. not all seizures are the same, and some of them don't have to do with the accidental energy absorption.

also besides the whole suspecting I may be a type of Gray-Aromantic.

I also had started to suspect that I may have been Demiromantic, like even if my falling for the wrong type of guys may have also have to do with some energy I didn't know I was absorbing. but my feelings also could of been still real, and it could be possible during those times when I talked with them and got close to them even not really seeing their face (don't really remember about all the stuff we talked about, I only remember very little about it, and some stuff I do remember, is that one of my ex-boyfriends made me feel uncomfortable even if I tried to put up with it but they seem a bit too obsessed with a certain thing, and not in a type of normal obsessed....but I guess I never really told him that the way he talked about it, made me really uncomfortable, it could be possible I didn't even fully realize it had made me feel uncomfortable until I started to think back on it.)

I may have been Demiromantic when I fell for the guys I fell for before, and yeah I have no interest in trying to get a boyfriend at this moment, not unless they respect my space, don't touch me when I don't want to be touched, and they will need to understand that hugging me from behind is out of the question, if I'm not aware of them standing behind me and they do that, they will likely startle me like a deer....and yeah apparently my spirit animal companion is the deer, I had looked it up before. though it could be possible that I and others could have other type of animals as well...

of course the whole deer thing, once again reminds me of Alastor.

it might been around last year I think when I was hugged from behind, I didn't much like it, but it's okay now, it was family but they know not to do that kind of surprise hug again, I'm okay with hugs when I give them and well also if someone does want a hug and well I can choose to give them one.....but what happen before, and I didn't know anyone was behind me, and yeah it was my Mom who did that, but still, it had startled me...

also even if I'm not sure if the whole gems will work for everyone who may have figured out that, some energies from others and even a place might be the reason they feel things that aren't fully their own, or like if the place like a town is full of very VERY bad high levels of bad energy and ya always seem to have seizures, and you do move to a new town, but certain parts of the places are safe but other parts still end up causing you to have seizures....then yeah, it could probably be safer to move to a whole new town far away where it has a much safer energy feel, well that or get some gems that are suppose to protect ya from the dangerous energies from both people and a place.....but again, I'm not 100% sure if that would work for everyone.

anyway to get back to the whole Rooster Teeth Discussion, a video I had watched that proves that the post I saw before has some form of truth, and not just some form of misunderstanding.

I felt so, not great after watching the video....it was like a overwhelming sadness, and yeah I had to go lay down and sleep it off.

of course when I woke up, it had apparently started to rain as well as sound a bit windy and thunderstorm a bit.....that is just a weird coincidence.

but anyway, there has to be some way to save Rooster Teeth, I mean yeah they should make sure to take days off, not just a few days, but actual vacation times that involves restoring energies, and if they have to, they could take turns, like those who can still work can do so while those who are suppose to take time off will need to take some months off, and yeah coming back early because they felt way better can be optional I guess. not sure if they have that type of thing going on.

but I want to say just because Warner Brothers helped at some point, don't mean they are the parents of the shows that were born from Rooster Teeth, even RWBY is Rooster Teeth's child, well more like Co-Parent then Adoptive Full Parent after what happen to RWBY's Other Parent that was Monty Oum....and I had founded out that Dragon Ball Series's Creator/Parent Akira Toriyama had died, I ended up watching another video that had talked about that, and in one of those videos there were some jerks that were bad mouthing about him, but also those who were doing that, were being told off by others who knew it was disrespectful to bad mouth him.....

if a creator of a something that brings joy to others around the world, even with the sadness that goes on, ends up dying and at times way too soon before it is their actual time.

of course fans who loved them and their work, will get peeved at those who wrongly disrespect them.

Warner Brothers wouldn't really be a parent to Rooster Teeth's Shows, they would be more like a Uncle/Aunt...

Steel Wool Studios had became a Adoptive Parent to FNAF, because Scott Cawthon TRUSTS them, and that trust is real, because they did their best when helping make the FNAF Security Breach and even the Ruin DLC, which I really hope that DLC comes to the Xbox One soon....cause I want to play that DLC as soon as possible.

also while playing one of my versions of FNAF-SB, I have a PS4, Xbox One, and Nintendo Switch versions....the Nintendo Switch version still has it's stickers, which at some point I will use.

anyway while playing a new save on the nintendo switch version, I had a new FNAF theory pop into my head, which I will talk about after this...but not before I do some editing in some posts that came before this one.

anyway, it could be possible that Warner Brothers, as great as they can be, should have some form of improvement, one of them being that they can't just do whatever the heck they want just because they had been around much longer than most companies that have only been around for some years but not as long as them.

it could still be possible that Warner Brothers and Rooster Teeth can still have a type of partnership, but there should be some form of respect and not have Rooster Teeth just give up, with how the world got, no thanks to the fragging Covid-19, and I'm seriously fragging tired of the bull frag slag that the Angel Boys are up to that has to do with them being influence by the Toxic-Masculine energy.

Toxic-Feminine energy is still a problem as well, but it hasn't been around as long as it's counterpart that has been around for freaking centuries even around the whole time when The Goddess was wrongly dethroned, and yeah, once again I believe in her now, as well as still believing in God as well, so I can still believe in both Divine Parents.

so excuse me if this Earth Angel Princess doesn't want to put up with some Toxic-Masculine Angels that may cross a line, even if there are still some Angels I can still trust, but still gonna have a bit of trust issues with some of them.

and like the song that Marceline Abadeer sings (from Adventure Time) that is about Princess Bubblegum

"I finally woke up." and as well as the whole "being tired of your candy kingdom." I might need to listen to that song again sometime.

but yeah, hope some can understand.

and yeah as it is weird, like a part of the song that Vaggie and Carmilla sings in one of the episodes of Hazbin Hotel.

I kind of want to be Earth's Armor, well Vaggie is obviously talking about being Charlie's Armor...

and well, it be nice if other Earth Angels woke up the truth, there is like something seriously wrong with the Masculine energy, even if some parts of it is still good, but it hadn't been properly tended to for so long, and for all I know it getting the way it did may have to do with the Annunaki from those Ancient times.

and as weird as it might be, ya know the song "All About Us" by T.A.T.U. (or just called TATU....)

like some parts of the lyrics make me think about well,

like if they (The ones who are full of too much Toxic-Masculine energy) hurt you (and the "you" being both the Goddess/Earthly-Mother. and The Feminine Energy), they hurt me too ("me" as in well not just me but other Earth Angels as well as possibly Other Humans who may not be Earth Angels...)

there needs to be a way to heal and detoxify that Toxic-Masculine energy....of course all the song of "All About Us" might not fully match what I'm describing, but for some reason those lyrics "if they hurt you, they hurt me too." and maybe the parts that has to do with "rising up." which by the way not making the same mistakes as some Eon-Boomers did, we should at least use form of healing and protective barrier to stop the Toxic-Masculine energy from getting through, we can take baby steps with the Toxic-Feminine though, cause it isn't as high in the hazard dangerous levels as the Toxic-Masculine one.

anyway back to the whole Rooster Teeth and Warner Brothers, Rooster Teeth might have some problems but that doesn't mean they should just give up, instead they can just take a long break but also make plans on how to improve things, making sure that they don't get too overwhelmed, which can be helped by them making sure to take a lot of time off.

I may not know a lot of whats going on, but I hope they don't think that fans have stop caring, that is far from the truth.

fans can still care, it's just they can still have stuff that goes on with them, and when they can still be fans of the shows that is by Rooster Teeth. and yeah, if that whole Covid-19 hadn't happen some stuff that is going on wouldn't be as bad and even if there is still some good stuff that goes on, it still doesn't change the fact that it could be possibly that the Toxic-Masculine energy had something to do with what happen, even if not everyone has to agree, but I'm still gonna view that the Toxic-Masculine energy did play a part in that Covid-19 mess...

also if another company becomes a type of Co-Parent, even to something they didn't originally create, they can't just do whatever the frag they want and think everyone else will be okay with it.

and yeah there was that whole worry for the Hazbin Hotel, but seems everything is fine, so maybe it will keep being okay and the now Co-Parents that being Vivienne Medrano/Vivziepop The Original Creator (with her Team who originally worked on the shows Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss) and The Other Party, can keep things fair.

well at least she gets her name on the show's title so that is extremely good.

I guess some fans of different shows that have been shown by different companies, got use to expecting some bad news stuff.

I mean seriously, Wander Over Yonder had deserved it's true final season but that was basically cancelled, it wasn't okay that despite trying to do that whole petition, the fans still lost.

and the reason why we lost that, might have to do with the possibility that someone messed with it and caused us to lose that fight.

even though I still like the Ducktales Reboot, the actions of some of the characters that were suppose to be the good guys, was disappointing.

Scourge should of been the bigger person, and did some form of kindness by helping Magica with her brother, but he didn't.

he chose to steal those coins from her and her brother's throne room, and Louie thinks that Scourge became better because of his rivals, which might be true, but that still doesn't excuse him for hurting Magica and making her worse than she was already.

plus there could be a reason why her brother and herself ended up they way they were, like not everything as it appears.

another thing that bothers me is that Scourge couldn't be a bit more empathic to Bradford Buzzard, I mean his Grandmother is basically the reason he developed some kind of Post Traumatic Disorder.

if anything, Bradford's Grandmother was the True Villain.

Magica may had been hinting that she knew that Bradford wasn't a villain, and he was the way he is because of his Grandmother, who by the way, should get a punch to her stupid face.

and the reason why the sword made him transform like that, wasn't because he was evil. it was likely because he was hurt, REALLY badly hurt, both emotionally and psychologically.

so Mrs Bentina Beakley was wrong, the sword had transformed him but it wasn't because of what she had mentioned.

and yeah as Crossover Fanon Timelines go, if Bradford met Pink-Pearl as well as Spinel, they might get along very well.

even Locus from Red Vs Blue was able to change and become a better person, and he could still had some very bad trauma from his past that made him become a monster, but it took him time to get better. he wasn't born a monster, no one truly is.

and I don't think Cain was either, he became the way he was, possibly because of Adam and Eve's poor parenting which could make them turn out to be Gray-Parents. and they couldn't see that Cain need the proper help, both being a parent's love as well as emotional support.

even if Abel may have still had a good heart, but that doesn't mean he isn't still responsible for taking part in the breaking point.

and yeah Abel may wanted to have some kind of revenge, but he really has no room to talk, seeing as what he does to the fluffy babies.

I mean it is one thing to have them as emotional support, like being animal companions/pets, an yeah some animals still play a part in the food chain, and some being used for clothes.

but yeah, if Abel's offerings was what it was back then...

then Cain wasn't the only one to hurt someone like the way he did.

so both of them are still at fault, but if Abel thinks he can just think of himself as more innocent than Cain, then he is so freaking wrong.

and if had some kind of immortal life, and if he so much as touched my fluffy baby which is my second cat, and had plans to hurt them...

I will not hold back my wrath upon him, and if I had to. I will try my best to fight him back, by getting him on his stomach and sitting on his back while holding his arms behind him and wait until someone helps, so he can be tied up until he is taken to some kind of correction place, where he isn't allowed to touch or see a animal.

there can be ways to stop him, that doesn't have to be a certain LOVE, as in Level Of Violence. and yes I reference Undertale.

I might technically be Cain's Granddaughter, well Nonbinary Granddaughter and there being a lot of Greats in there...

and yeah, Seth is technically my Ancestor as well.

if some info is correct, Cain may be my 117th Great-Grandpa, on my Mom's Dad who is also my Grandpa, own side of the family.

which means that Adam is a 118th Grandpa, well he is that way because of Seth....but also whoever is Cain's Bio-Dad, they are technically gonna be 118th Grandpa, and they may NEVER live that down.

anyway with that aside, I'm going to break this into two parts, or three if I feel it needs it.

I really hope that Rooster Teeth can bounce back from whats going on. there has to be a good way to keep that not great stuff from happening, and save that legacy, I mean there has to be some kind of hope right...?

at least the new season of Camp Camp looks great, also something tells me that Neil doesn't know about the "meaning" and "symbolism" to which he was showing off, but if some had read about it and learned about the meaning, then some might understand where I'm going at if they had seen that new episode of the new season.

I ain't gonna be the one to tell Neil, I know it's not really possible for me to tell him.

but if they do make a episode where Max does bring it up, and he knows what it means, he can explain it to Neil, well either Max or one of the Camp Councilors, well maybe not David, because it might be possible he has no clue about it.

I'm not saying what it is, cause well I don't want to give away some spoilers right now. but some might get what I'm talking about if they seen the new episode.

and yeah did get a lot off topic in this, and yeah it did make me feel really REALLY sad after seeing the video that talked about whats going on.....I ended up going to bed because of it, but also when I woke up it was all windy, raining and some bit of thunderstorm, which by the way may could match what I was feeling...but I know it was just a very odd coincidence.

anyway when I'm able to, I will post a part 2 of this, to discuss a bit more about the whole Rooster Teeth situation, and hope that things do work out and there can be ways to save them and keep that legacy safe even if some of them should retire.

cause even when those who do retire, and may check up on how things are and help a little if they want to but still not be fully involved, only a little to maybe help at times if they wish to.

but those who stay around, will keep the dream and legacy alive, even when it's time for them to retire and give all the projects to the new people that became a part of the RT Family....yeah that might seem a bit sappy to some, but if you think about it, new people getting to work at Rooster Teeth even when at some point those who had been there the longest do retire, it still could be seen as hope and some way to make it grow even bigger, and also making sure even when it does grow bigger, those who do work at Rooster Teeth, still should make sure to take long vacations, so they can relax and rest.

anyway hope some can understand what I mean and there is no misunderstandings, but yeah.....when I'm able to, I will write a part 2 of this....and sorry that it got a bit too much off-topic, like a maybe a whole lot....but I will try not to have it be too much in the part 2 of this.

[lightlycareless]

First, it hurts— [side story]: Y/N's first kiss.

Depictions of a brief succession mentioned on one of my asks! Which you can find both here and here. About the main fic over... here! (Would recommend reading that one just to get the general idea of what's going on—it's a Naoya x reader fic)

Chapter warnings: none :> except and overprotective father, an annoying Satoru and a very curious yet... puzzling Y/N. (slight gojo x geto at the end) maybe even y/n x gojo if you squint your eyes.

A/N: If you've been following me these past few days, you'll notice that this was supposed to be posted on Sunday. I may have done a few miscalculations when it comes to the editing part, and when I finally wanted to post this the lights went out 💀💀 For a moment I truly believed fate was like nope, you ain't gonna post that. But we're finally here :>

And as expected, this idea turned out somewhat different than what I planed, but still satisfying. I really love writing Minako and Eiichi, and young Y/N, Hinata and Ren—guess I'm trying to heal something from my personal life LMAO. Well, anyways, I hope you enjoy this small (not so small) side story :>

As always, reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ❤❤ Happy reading!

Ao3 link.

It is within undeniable reasons that there are many subjects that a young mind wouldn’t care to register for simply because it doesn’t really impact their life.

Body aches? Sleeping in the wrong position? No worries, your body will find a way around it. These things are nothing but a myth.

Worrying about having clean clothes for the next day? Who cares! They’re going to get dirty anyway.

Taxes? Work? What even is that?

Sure, children were expected to have certain responsibilities at the end of the day, part of the nurturing process of molding them into capable, working adults of society.

But things worked a bit differently for those that held onto tradition, and sorcerers were no different.

Marriage, an adult term, struck your reality for the first time when your sister became engaged to the Gojo heir, both at the young age of 5 years old, just after their techniques became apparent before the jujutsu community—you were only 3.

However, just as Hinata and your now future brother-in-law were too young to oppose or consent to this arrangement, you were on the same page when it came to understanding its definition. Which would come years later, precisely after reaching 6 years of age.

It wasn’t meant to be a secret, of course, being related to one the biggest figures in the modern era of jujutsu meant that you’d be presented with situations that most civilians would either experience later in life, or never at all. 

Situations that two people in particular, your parents if they must be named, fought hard to postpone for as long as they could in order to give their children a sense of normality, a childhood. 

But with your natural inquisitiveness, as well as your determination, this would be their hardest foe yet.

It all started one day after school.

You were running through one of the many halls of your extensive home —carefully avoiding clashing into the working staff members who greeted you as the pitter patter of your small feet against the wooden floor alerted them of your passing, to which you’d return with the same enthusiasm with a cheeky grin and a breathy hello!— with seemingly no purpose, that is, outside of enjoying your spare time by doing whatever a  carefree child your age would be doing after finishing all their homework.

And that seemed to be your intent for the next few minutes, had you not heard the familiar voices of your parents coming out from one of the nearby rooms: low and tight, as if they were discussing something that was solely intended for those in the premises, but with much annoyance nonetheless—the perfect combination to arouse anyone’s intrigue.

Had you been a few years older, you would’ve come to the appropriate conclusion that your presence was to be unessential, swiftly turning onto the opposite direction and moving on with your day.

However, because you have yet to understand what certain boundaries looked like, as well as wanting to bask in your parent’s attention (without adding that their secrecy issued you with great fascination) you’d soon find yourself scurrying into their direction and to the door you’d figured to be harboring your parents.

The desire of wanting to see your parents deprives you from basic etiquette by going straight to sliding the door open and scampering inside, which immediately earns you the abrupt silence and widening eyes of your bewildered parents.

“What are you doing here, little one?” Minako is the first to speak, voice tremulous as she manages to squeeze one, two quick glances at her husband whilst keeping her attention on you, worried eyes asking him if there was a possibility you might've heard their conversation—to which he incredulously reacts with a subtle shook of his head. “All done with homework?” she asks, now moving closer to you.

“Yep!” You nod, stretching your arms towards your mother, motioning the need of an embrace. Minako, although still surprised by your sudden appearance, doesn’t put up much of a fight when it comes to accepting your affectionate ministrations. It takes less than a second after that for your parents' shock to blend into adoration—the consistent effect the presence of your siblings, and you sequentially, have on them  “Too easy”

“Oh, is that so?” Your mother chuckles—your newfound confidence is a trait that she finds partially amusing yet concerning, for she knows that without limits, might lead to impudence…

A fact that Eiichi condemns as soon as it travels past your lips, for he doesn’t appreciate the notion of you growing up to be rude. However, just as your mother, he can’t stop himself from doting on you while feeling slightly proud, because who doesn’t like seeing their children thrive against any obstacle?

“Be mindful of your words, pumpkin. It’s good to be confident, but not too much to be considered arrogant—always remember to be humble”

You’re too young to understand what he means by arrogant in this context, but you don’t need to look beyond your father’s tone to understand it’s not something good. 

So as a response, you nod and chirp a short ok! Giving him a thumbs up to further cement your understanding, before glancing back at your mom to resume her torment with the following question “What are you doing?”

Eiichi and Minako go pale. 

Sweat begins to slide from the sides of their faces, like teenagers caught in a compromising position as you now intently stare at them: wide-eyed, head slightly tilted to your side with slight pout on your lips.

You didn’t need to speak for them to understand that you weren’t about to let them go, that is, until getting the answer you were looking for—just exactly what they wanted to avoid, what pushed them to have their previous discussion in a secluded room in the first place.

In the briefest moments of your distraction, your parents sought out for each other’s gazes, tension swirling in their eyes as they telepathically asked each other for support: were they ready to take this step with you and reveal the topic they kept hidden from you until now…  or continue feigning ignorance?

They would be lying if they didn’t believe that this day would eventually come, sooner than later, whether by their terms or those of an external force. 

In a way, they were lucky to have kept this a secret from you for as long as they had, for the elders weren’t known for being prudent with their own family. As well as grateful for your siblings dutifully playing their part… although their willingness could easily be defined as obliviousness more than anything.

Well, taking this into consideration… they’d much rather tell you themselves what has been plaguing their mind in a controlled environment, than forcibly delegating that role to someone else with the possibility of bursting everything they stood for in flames.

So, wanting to take advantage of the situation while still having the upper hand, your parents decide it’s finally time to tell you what is going on between your sister and Satoru.

“We were talking…” Eiichi begins, slowly, but surely. Playing the kind of parent that knew how to break the ice when it came to assessing long overdue conversations with their children. 

While Minako would be the parent to follow up on his lead by offering support in the form of explanations and comfort, ones that were inevitably needed once the cat was finally out of the bag. Just as they foresaw this situation to unfold.

 “About your sister” Minako added and you blink.

“Hina-chan?” you mumble. The way your soft voice fills with concern for your older sister has your parents silently doting on you for a few seconds, before snapping back to reality and composing themselves.

“Yes” Your father agrees “The one and only”

“Is she ok?” you caution, and Eiichi physically struggles to stop himself from rushing towards your mother and plucking you out of her arms —which you were already resting comfortably and warmly on— and accepting you into his to kiss your worries away.

But there's always a place and time for everything, so instead, he focuses back on the task at hand.

“She’s fine” Minako reassures you “Don’t worry”

“Then why are you talking about her?” you frowned, confused even further by their well-intended yet cryptic words.

“I wish we wouldn’t have to speak about this” Eiichi whispers at his wife, and Minako silently looks up to him, ironically to warn him to be mindful of his words. 

Once he declared her message to be understood by the way he breathed an apology back to her, she continued.

“You remember Satoru-kun, right?” Minako says and you nod. “And how he sometimes visits us, or how we visit him?”

You nod once more, yet, clueless as ever as to where she’s heading with all this.

“There’s a reason why Satoru is close to our family” Eiichi adds. 

The prospect of walking alarmingly close to the point of no return has both parents filling up with anxiety, with your mother inadvertently holding her breath as your father attempts to swallow down his nerves.

But they’ve already made the decision, there’s no turning back now. And just as they had to face difficulties before, they’d do so once more, together.

“That’s because he’s going to marry Hinata-chan” Minako is the one to land the final blow, and your parents prepare themselves for the inevitable impact.

“Marry?” you repeat, confused being an understatement.

Now that’s a word you haven’t heard before—foreign to your dictionary, naturally leading your brain to scatter through its memories to find a possible definition… to no avail.

All you could really think of is customary greeting people would tell each other during the holidays, so if you were to place the pieces together, it meant that…

“Is Hina-nee Santa claus?!” is what you conclude, and it’s at this point that your parents feel they might’ve miscalculated your innocence towards this situation, at least for now.

Minako is far more experience with the art of subtlety when it comes to holding back a chuckle, but your father isn’t, and when he unwillingly lets out a snort, you’re quick to make him regret it by giving him a frown of disapproval, offended by his obvious mockery.

“Um, no! I mean—Sorry, little one” He spluttered, quick to jump into action to save the fondness you held for him. He hopes that his small slip up wasn’t enough to make you angry towards him for the rest of the day, or worse… “I… had something in my nose, that’s all”

You continue to stare holes, clearly not buying his excuse. 

«Oh, if you only knew how much power you had over your father…» Minako muses out of amusement before you eventually sigh, abdicating your embarrassment for your father’s reaction in favor of your still prevalent confusion.

You soon realize that not even your mother’s tone was enough to give you a hint of what she meant by that word, and judging by the way your father reacted, merry and marry weren’t interchangeable words.

So, pushing your eyebrows together and looking back to your mother, you plead yet again for an answer “What is marry?”

«This is where the fun begins» Eiichi nervously glances at his wife, silently cheering her on.

“Marry… well” Minako takes a deep breath, mind scrambling from the best words to create a direct yet… calming definition she knows the elders of the L/N clan do not deserve. “Marriage is something people that love each other do” she’d begin.

“Hina-chan loves Satoru-kun?” you ask innocently, and your father’s emotions spiral out of control once more.

“NO!” He cries and Minako’s head snaps in his direction faster than he can sputter more nonsense. 

Her right eye twitches as she sinks deeper into disbelief—his inconsideration could lead to the crumbling of the explanation she was starting to build up. She knew it was difficult as it was, but he had to get it together if they wanted to make this work!

Eiichi considers himself lucky to have you here, because had it been the contrary, he knew he’d be getting an earful from her.

“I—I mean, yeah…? Who… knows?” It seems that he now has to worry about not earning the ire of his beloved wife this time. Trying to cover his mistake by muttering a quiet apology before signaling her to continue. 

“They care for each other, is what your papa meant to say” Minako doubles down on his intentions by circling back your attention to her with a soft pat on your back “And sometimes, that care takes us to make certain commitments. Such as with Hina-chan and Satoru-kun”

Commitment—she was being undeservingly nice by using that word to label the intrusive arrangement the L/N and Gojo clan contrived for the children. 

Perhaps it was better to skip formalities and go straight to the point by telling you that this decision was made purely out of benefit in hopes of begetting strong sorcerers out of their union…

But even with the constant reminder of how terrible life is set to be for most, if not all, sorcerers… your parents still wanted their kids to have a happy life, regardless of what path they chose, marriage included.

Minako and Eiichi had a relatively good and healthy marriage for a couple living in the jujutsu community, thus, it was only natural that they wanted the same for them, away from growing up fearing marriage. 

However it was possible, your parents wanted their kids to marry because they met someone that saw them for who they are, and not because their family pushed them to, or because they had a responsibility to the community. In other words, because they loved you, and you loved them.

It pains your parents to consider the possibility that both Hinata and Satoru might not grow to be happy in this union, after all, it’s something they were forced to accept from a very young age, without a chance to escape—the parents having no alternative but to agree.

But even if they couldn’t stop their respective families from doing so, it didn’t mean they wouldn’t go to great lengths to at least ensure their happiness, however that might come to be, while devotedly hoping that their efforts will be recognized as inspiration for the next generation, encouraging them to pick up from where they left off and do what they never could for those that follow.

Minako knows this to be a bit too diplomatic for your short age, but maybe it’ll stick with you until you’re mature enough to fight for what you want in life.

A seed of encouragement that she’ll plant in your young mind, starting with a child-appropriate version of this engagement.

“Hinata and Satoru are set to… live together in the future” Minako begins to explain what getting married essentially means “They’re going to have a ceremony, a party, to unite our clans. After that, your sister will move out of the house and… they’ll have a family—just like ours” Your mother looks at Eiichi to warn him away from saying anything that might just replicate his small incident from earlier.

It’s no secret that he’s the overprotective parent out of the two, and processing the fact that their kids will eventually grow up, work, probably get married and subsequently leave the house… was very difficult for him. 

But even with his protective nature, he was still capable enough to assertively understand the issue and what bothered him the most: Hinata was regrettably robbed of these choices.

And it’s his responsibility to do whatever he can to support them.

“And we were simply talking about the preparations for their wedding” Eiichi states, which wasn’t really that far of a stretch when reflecting back on their conversation. 

They were indeed talking about their wedding, but in terms of delaying it, instead of encouraging it. Hoping to stall it long enough to when either of them assumed their respective positions of leaders of the clan, the only moment in their life they’d be able to interfere in this previously taken decision and put a halt to it… or continue forward—but by then, it’ll be by their own volition… not because the elders wanted; if they haven’t brainwashed them, of course.

“Wedding?” you repeat, another foreign word, since you have never been to a wedding before.

“It’s a celebration…. Kind of like going to the shrine to pray ” Eiichi went on “There’s a priest, who will pray to the gods for their well-being, he’ll then purify them and the couple will exchange vows… promises of being loving and faithful to one another, and then, they’ll give each other rings”

“Like this one” Minako gestures at her thin silver wedding band and your eyes glisten with admiration for the shiny jewelry.

“Once everything is done… they kiss and they’re officially married” Your father concludes, quickly skimming over his words for the mental image of his sweet daughter kissing the insufferable white haired boy is enough to fill him with disgust. Had it been to him, no boy or girl would be allowed in near proximity to their children!

“Then there’s a party, a reception. With friends and family, with all kinds of food and desserts to choose from! ” Minako hypes, intentionally emphasizing the last part, which she knew you’d be more interested in, to push you away from the boring and tedious interpretation your father was unknowingly portraying—all for the sake of keeping this path open for you to choose, if you ever decide to do so.

“I see” you nod along, and by the following silence, that seems to be the end of the conversation.

Your parents, noting the absence of your questioning, take it to be the result of a satisfied curiosity by a well formulated answer, completely unaware of the reasoning behind it, far from being one of fulfillment, it was one of deep thought.

Leagues away from quenching your thirst, you now found yourself in a bigger hole of intrigue, starting by wondering why your sister was the one to get married, and not you, or your older brother for that matter—as if talking about the ownership of a toy, and not a life changing experience— just to show that Minako and Eiichi still decided to postpone the chapter of arranged marriages for a later date (hopefully never, your parents think, still processing the awkwardness from this conversation). 

And by the way their conversation moves onto Ren’s upcoming school festival, a topic that bored you enough to prompt your departure in hopes of finding better entertainment, you’d come to the natural conclusion that they were no longer interested in going back to weddings and receptions, meaning, they were no longer of help to your cause.

A realization that leads you to assume that the second best way to obtain information of what you needed was by asking your older sister, Hinata, directly. She was the one getting married after all, wouldn’t she know the most?

And that’s what you did… much to your sister’s disappointment, who thought you were approaching her with the intention of playing or basking in the fountain of knowledge she proclaims herself to be.

But no, of all things that you could’ve asked of her, you wanted to know her relation with the boy she found very, very annoying.

“Why do you want to know that?!” she cries, hurt evident in her voice and eyes as she theatrically waves her hands in the air “Don’t you want to see me use my technique instead?”

“No! I want to know why you’re getting married instead of me” 

“Do you want to get married?” Hinata retaliates, and you frown. Even from a young age, you were never fan of answering questions with other questions.

“No” you pout “...Just tell me Hina-nee!! Do you love him?”

“Ew, no!” She squirms and shivers out of disgust, and her reaction twists the definition your mother gave you earlier, leaving you more confused than you were when arriving.

“Then why?” you insist once more, and your sister ponders…

“I don’t know” She eventually shrugs, answering nothing if not truthfully “But it’s not because he’s pretty, that’s for sure”

“Ok, bye!” and without time to waste, you hastily turn around and exit the room, leaving behind a distraught Hinata who can’t do much but call you back to her as she regrets the way she brushed you off so coldly as she did—she throws promises of playing your favorite game, training with you, even doing your homework! But none of these things caught your attention.

Not to undermine how tempted you were to turn around and take her up on her offer, but right now, all that you could really care about was obtaining more information to quench your drowning thrist, and by process of elimination, that was to be with your brother: the oldest, the wisest, the one you knew that wouldn’t put much of a fight with you when answering your demands, when presented with puppy eyes.

And fold he did, just as you expected.

However, his response was a bit… underwhelming. 

Himself being too young to have been in some kind of meaningful relationship that would eventually lead to marriage, his only references were those of cartoonish movies and shows he’d seen throughout his life that briefly touched the subject—somewhat still oblivious as to why Hinata was to be the one to marry, instead of him or you, although with a better understanding that power played a role here. 

And if Ren had to be honest, marriage was something that had no space in his mind; adult talk, he’d say, too boring.

Yet, he still felt liable to give you some kind of resolution, so by doing the most with what he had, Ren redirected you to watch movies as well.

Movies that he considered the most appropriate to give you an answer in the whole marriage debacle. Princess movies, as he’d call them, the ones where the and they lived happily ever after plotline was to be found. Not knowing that this, far from helping you understand the kind of relationship Hinata and Satoru had, only brought you another wave of seemingly answerless questions.

But Ren wasn’t to blame, he too was young to assume any better, and if he knew that by putting you to do this would lead to all that followed next, he wouldn’t have done so. 

You no longer wanted to know what marriage was—at least not by definition. This time, you wanted to experience it.

Well, it’s only natural. With movies finishing in a happy ending which promised unconditional love and prosperity… wasn’t it programmed inside human nature to long for that as well?

And without any more obstacles to overcome, your young mind decided that marriage, your first kiss specifically, was to be the epitome of your needs—a desire that set off the internal alarms of your parents, specifically, your father, once interrogated about it.

“Where—where did you get that idea?” Eiichi tensely queried, a dreadful moment he never thought he’d be experiencing from you, and at only 6 years old, unnerved him to the point of perspiring.

“From a movie” you respond nonchalantly “Have you gotten a true love’s kiss?”

“I… guess?” he responds, upset and confused as ever as to where you could’ve gotten these terms from. Or more likely… Why did you become hyper focused on this? Just a few days ago you were more than enamored with a certain frog plushie they got for you on their last holiday… but now, that seems to be nothing more than a distant memory—perhaps someone from school was behind it all? 

Circling back to your question, if he really had to answer… kissing Minako was something he always considered to be the highlight of his day. Whether to begin or finish it, there's nothing he'd rather look forward to than her sweet gestures…

What?

No! 

He shouldn’t deviate from the problem at hand through his adoring wife! This is something different, alarming, and certainly not something for you to demand as if talking about a toy! And most of all, not entertaining you!

Why couldn’t you just ask him for something like most kids would normally do at your age? Like sweets, toys, or even skipping school?!

Well, at least it’s not that infamous where do babies come from? question that he already had the misfortune of suffering through with your siblings that’s bothering him today…

“But that’s not the point, Y/N! You shouldn’t go around asking that…”

“Is mama your true love?”

Eiichi blushes, and his immeasurable love for your mother prompts him to respond “Yes, she is”

“Will I have true love too?” you follow up, still ignorant to the tight spot you’re cornering your father into.

“I… think… I hope so” he hesitates, that’s a question that he wants to respond positively and without hesitation, but there are things that not even an all-knowing person like him (ever since you called him that one, he just can’t let go) could know.

Regretfully, his indecision is something that you’re quick to catch on.

“Does that mean I won’t?” you frown. You feel as if, yet again, you’re being glossed over compared to others. A sensation that’s quick to push you down into the familiar desperation that always came after by twisting your face into one of sorrow.

And Eiichi, upon noticing this abrupt change in your tone, regrets yet again how he approached you with this topic—mentally berating him for not being as sensitive as his wife was when it came to comforting their children.

“That’s not what I—” Your father frets, kneeling down to your level. Oh, the dilemma you’ve put your father in…

“Will no one… love me?” you wrongfully conclude and your father’s eyes jolt wide open.

“What?! I mean, you don’t need someone else to love you, Y/N!” Eiichi points out, mind frantically wondering how you even got to this outrageous conclusion?! “You have me, your mom, your siblings, Sumire, the whole staff! Isn’t that enough?”

“But you’re married to mama” you counter, almost matter-of-factly, and a bit too fast for your father’s liking. He’s barely able to sprout justifications to end your unnecessary torment before you’re already barraging him with more questions. “And Hina-nee will marry Satoru-kun. The only one that will love me is Ren-nii…”

Eiichi feels himself physically sinking deeper and deeper into the pit that your endless questions seem to be turning into. He never expected that you, the adorable baby daughter everyone loved and cherished, would be the one to worry about these silly things! And he thought the other question was the worst one out of the two…

Oh, how he wishes Minako was here to reassure you, for he thought you needed to remember that your parents' love was unconditional and unwavering. She always knew what to say to calm your continuous curiosity… and if you didn’t believe him, you’d surely believe her.

But she wasn’t there, and he needed to calm you down before you spiraled down even further…

And he knew just how to do so.

A sweet ally he knew he could always count on—although one that he and his wife were slowly starting to disapprove, for it was only a temporary solution. But drastic measures were needed for drastic situations. 

He’d beg for Minako’s forgiveness when she’s back, but for now…

“If I give you mochi… will you promise me to stop asking these questions?” …«at least until you’re older?» he wishes to add, but he doesn’t want to push his luck. For what older means for a kid has a vastly different definition for an adult. He can already see this situation unfolding if he doesn't take the necessary precautions; as soon as a week passes, you’re going to run back at him and tell him you’re older, technically just a week, but older nonetheless to bombard him with questions yet again.

No, not a chance.

And the bait seems to work, although with less excitement and giddy he expected from you, but still good enough because you’re soon pulling and tugging at his sleeve to rush him into retrieving the sweets he’s bribing you with.

Not the reward you were searching for, but still a welcomed one. And as your father guides you to the kitchen and onto the cabinet he was hiding these sweet treats, he takes it as his cue to retake this upsetting matter.

“Y/N” Eiichi would call as he looked down to you, munching on the box of taro mochi he’d intended to surprise you with one day after school. 

You’d look up to him, half of a mochi still in your mouth, as you hum in response.

“We’ll never stop loving you” he reassures you, slightly alleviating the pain that settled in his heart after hearing his daughter doubt herself in such a cruel way “No matter what happens, regardless if you, or your siblings, get married or not. We’ll always be here for you, for one another, because that’s what families do, ok?”

And you accept his answer, sealed by a hug and kiss from him, alongside the box of mochi he allowed you to eat even before dinner. 

You snuggle into his embrace for a few seconds longer before pulling away, promising to not bother him with the questions that seemed to upset him anymore.

You never intended to sadden him, of course, all you ever wanted was answers. So, wanting to see your father smile, you indulged in the mochi as an alternative to ease your curiosity.

Something you were all too happy to oblige… that is, until weeks passed and you were inevitably pushed back to square one after falling into the blanket of security your father’s heedlessness provided you.

It had been a while since your dad decided to bring the topic back, although he and your mother had been a bit more affectionate with you after that day.

But if you thought about it, you were the only one that didn’t get what you wanted. You were just as clueless as ever when it came to what marriage, true love, and a kiss, felt like. And determined as ever, you were out to pursue answers.

Did you worry about your father? Yes, but you comforted yourself by remembering that the promise you made only entailed asking him, not anybody else… right? You assumed that if you didn’t tell him, he wouldn’t get sad! 

Besides, if he wanted to completely stop you, he should’ve made you promise to not ask questions to anyone!

Taking that into consideration, you were set once again, on your journey of knowledge.

… 

…

With more frustration than you ever expected to feel in your life.

Why is that? 

Well, that’s easy to answer: the people that you decided to approach for answers began to push you away from the topic, justifying themselves by saying you’re too young to be worried about that, or why don’t you go play with your siblings instead? If not straight up ignoring you, not willing to entertain you as your father did, thus, not giving you a chance to retaliate. 

Unfortunately for them, putting this subject under a strict lockdown only grasped  more of your attention, as well as ignited you with determination. A feeling that pushes you into making a radical decision.

If you’re not able to obtain what you’re asking for, then you’ll have to find a way to force them out of them. A demand they won’t be able to refuse…

Gambling.

Gambling, by some strange reason—equally cryptic as attempting to explain how the mind of a young child worked—turned out to be your solution.

Although mostly illegal in Japan, you’ve still seen it happen before: The first occasion being through your staff whenever they wanted to kill some time in between chores.

The second instance, through the kids in your school. Of far lesser occurrence, solely present whenever one of your classmates found a shiny Pokémon card in their newest deck and wanted to either brag about it, or exchange it for something better. And lastly, but not least, when your family went out to the city and would inadvertently pass by a group of lottery enthusiasts gathered around the nearest ticket vendor as they waited for the lucky numbers to be announced—one of the limited, if not only, ways to partake in a legal form of gambling inside the country.

Whatever the reasons, they all maintained a single principle: if you wanted to gain something, you had to offer something.

And the bigger the fish, the bigger the bait.

But how would you manage to obtain a big fish, which was the kiss you so desperately sought after for the past few days, if everyone seems to avoid you like the plague?

Another solution runs through your mind.

A game, of course! By involving a game, you’d be inviting others to participate, in other words, a trap! And to make matters easier on you, you settled down for the classic bag of marbles that could never fail when looking for quick and cheap entertainment.

But just as you’re quick to overcome all obstacles thrown in your direction, you’re quicker to stumble onto more. 

This time, the hardest one yet: who will be naïve enough to not alert the adults of your schemes, but sufficient enough to fall in your trap?

Everyone at school was out of the question since it’s currently spring break, and it’s going to be at least a week before you see anyone again so… you’re not going to wait that long.

Your family is another scratched out possibility. You’re not going to ask for their help after they’ve been constantly avoiding you with no good reason (or so you believe) —completely oblivious to their reasoning, that being of how annoying you’ve become from repeating the same subject over and over again. 

That’s without considering your parents, who have explicitly stated they didn’t want you to worry about this, whom one could only assume would be rightfully angry if they caught you scheming around their warnings.

Once again, it seems you’d unknowingly bumped into a road with no end. An endless field of drought with no possible victim to choose from—all efforts for naught. 

No one could understand your frustration. Not your sister, your brother, or your best friend Sumire. Not even that recognizable patch of white hair, walking in the distance, belonging to another friend of yours, the Gojo Heir, could bring you solace…

Wait.

Wait.

Just like that, you were doused with another realization. 

You’ve gone ahead to cut your losses without even considering the slight possibility of a last alternative: one in the shape of someone you considered heavily involved (a fact truthful only in your mind) and in more ways than one, the perfect candidate.

Your answer was always right there, right before you.

Satoru was to be the one that will help you get out of this triviality!

Oh, it’s perfect!! How come you didn’t think of this before?

What better way to understand and experience what marriage was, if it wasn’t through Satoru, the boy that was set to be your sister’s husband? 

He’s bound to know a thing or two about this arrangement, probably even more than your sister since you’ve noticed him to be esteemed in a higher regard compared to her, and more likely than not, he might’ve already had his true love’s first kiss with her, right?

You certainly don’t expect to get the whole know-how from him, but it's still good enough to give you an idea of what to expect. One that will lead you to know when your true love finally comes into your life!

You mentally pat yourself on the back as you bashfully make way towards Satoru, prideful for having resolved this issue without the help of anyone! 

And some even dared to say you were too young to do most things by yourself! Ah, if only they could see you now!

So, with this regained confidence, you enter Satoru’s presence, who was amused by your initiative, as equally concerned upon noticing your sister's absence from your side—the two of you always seemed to be virtually inseparable… were you perhaps baiting him for something worse?

Sensations that would be tossed out the window and replaced with confusion when you finally spoke up your mind.

“A what?” Satoru cynically blurts out while chewing on the bubblegum one of your staff gave him after he obnoxiously let them know he was missing something. 

Growing accustomed to a life of silver spoons, it was only natural that he’d grow expecting everyone to fold at his command without second thoughts. Whatever he wanted, he got it. A very unwarranted outlook for his age, but expected due to his position in the jujutsu community. Taking that into consideration, no one dared say no to him, leading him to be the spoiled kid he is today.

The very reason why he’s not too keen when others attempt to demand stuff from him, just as you’re doing at this very moment.

“A game, marbles!” you repeat, waving the bag in which your recently acquired marbles were—all thanks to your best friend’s mother, the one you often sought after since she rarely questioned your requests— showing just how unaffected you were by his connotation “Play with me, Satoru-kun”

“And why would I do that with a twerp like you?” he smirks, maliciously pinching your nose. Judging the way your eyebrows push together and your lips purse into a pout, he seems to finally get under your skin.

He couldn’t be more wrong though, for your annoyance wasn’t because he insulted you (although the sharp pain you felt for his pinch was not one you could easily ignore), but rather because he was unnecessarily hindering your plans.

“I’m not a twerp” you justify, powering through the pain on your nose “Just play with me pleaseeee” you’d plead with long annoying whines and big round puppy eyes that looked nowhere else but straight into his celestial ones. All foul tactics to highlight your cuteness and have him fold onto your demands “Please please please pleeeeeaaaaaaseeeee”

And if that wasn’t enough, you’d then grab his arm, swinging and tugging at it harshly to emphasize your need for a game companion—the cherry on top to finally irritate Satoru into compliance. 

“Fine, fine!” he huffed, abruptly pulling away from you and retrieving his arm to his side as he begrudgingly agreed to your request, no, demand. 

As if he wasn’t secretly hoping he’d stumble onto someone from your family to distract him from the uneventful afternoon he was fated to have if you hadn’t come to his rescue, but we’re not going to talk about that. “What am I getting in return?”

Satisfaction settles in your core with a smile, as you’ve previously prepared for all kinds of questions. It seems that Satoru is not as smart as he believes himself to think, for he’d unknowingly fallen into your trap.

“I got a gun…a gund—gunda…” Where you once began with great confidence, you were now left to me a stuttering mess at the unprecedented difficulty of the word, much to your disappointment, and to his delight.

You didn’t have to look up to Satoru to sense the devilish smirk on his lips, one that was enough to have you flame up in embarrassment and subsequent reddening, but even then, you knew that your upcoming achievement was worth this small setback.

Always the generous one, you’d let him have this win.

“You mean a mobile Gundam toy?” he chuckles whilst raising an eyebrow. If you didn’t know any better, you’d dare assume he’s attempting to make fun of your stammer by saying the complete name of the toy, without errors and in one take. 

And while one of his main motivations was to take a jab at you, he was far more interested in this sudden turn of events—starting by confirming the existence of this highly sought after toy in your estate.

How did you even manage to get one? Not even he, the great Gojo Satoru, managed to lay his hands on one because… well, because the stupid elders from his clan attempted to punish him for slacking in the last term’s exams. 

It’s not his fault everything came so easily to him and his teacher is too dumb to realize that, wanting him to do things by the book instead of the better, easier way he offered, but whatever, that misstep will soon fall into irrelevance once he beats you and hand him over the toy you got.

Ah, if only he knew you never intended to give him said prize, for you weren’t planning on losing in the first place!

You’d essentially practiced everyday, from dawn to dusk, with your best friend, Sumire. From the moment you woke up, to when it was time to sleep—there was not an hour you didn’t intend to spend it through practice, to the point where she actually began to run away from you as soon as she heard you singing out her name, as if it were some kind of war fanfare, while running towards her with the set of shiny marbles in your hands, signaling the beginning of another session of torture.

Sumire forced herself to be the faster of the two, even with your training in jujutsu, just so she could outrun you. It let you down the first few times that happened, but you eventually learned to take this as your unofficial graduation from training. 

You’ve learned all that you could from her, and it was now time to show the fruits of your efforts.

“Yeah, papa got it for Ren-nii a while ago but he didn’t want it, so I got it” you explain “But I don’t want it”

“Sounds like you want something in return, Y/N-chan” Satoru guessed correctly, and you nod. “Oh, what do you want then? What do you need, that your parents haven’t given you already, spoiled brat?”

“I’ll tell you later” you say, finding his nickname to be a bit ironic, but you don’t give it much thought after that in favor of keeping your eyes on the goal “When I win”

“Hah!” He laughs “We’ll see about that, twerp—Let’s play, then. And maybe this way you can also tell me what if feels like to lose”

You ignore him once more and begin to guide him towards the nearest garden you’ve anticipatedly prepared for this occasion. The one with the small pagoda, away from where the staff usually were, for the two of you to play in privacy’s comfort. Because there’s no way in hell you’d let the moment you’ve been waiting for to be ruined by others!!

The two sit down on wooden floor and you begin to unfold all preparations by taking out the small roll of green string you stole from your mom’s sewing kit and mark a circle on the ground, the designated space where all marbles would have to be pushed out from but without leading the shooter—the marble used by the player— outside. 

An easy instruction to follow, for an even easier game to play, that is, if you took into account the accuracy and precision you required to do so.

In other words, an easy task for you to accomplish thanks to how your cursed technique worked.

Once everything is set and ready to go, you proceed to offer Gojo two of your biggest glass marbles to choose from, one of a transparent color, and the other one a bright aqua. 

Satoru ends up choosing the first, citing his reason for rejection as “It’s like using my eyes, so, no”

You nose wrinkles at the nasty comparison, thinking your life would be infinitely better without this information, before pushing that thought to the deepest part of your mind and grabbing the leftover marble.

“Ladies first” Satoru says, palms against the ground as he rests back into his arms. His eyes aimlessly wandering into the garden, attempting to radiate an aura of indifference towards whatever move you were to make, for he believed he was going to win anyways.

You don’t pay attention to his demeanor, in fact, from this moment forward, you don’t care a single bit about what he’s going to do. Your sole focus is on winning this game and obtaining what you fought hard to obtain, which was your first kiss. You wanted to see what was so great about this gesture, why it was so romanticized in movies, and how that tied with marriage.

You literally won’t be able to sleep until you finally know what it feels like!

So, knuckling down on the ground, you adjust your sights to the shiny red marble that caught your interest moments earlier by seemingly being the best one to push out first, and align your hand into its direction as you close your right eye to get a better look at it.

Pressing your lips together while holding your breath, your thumb grazes over the marble one, two, three times, testing the strength and grip you’ll need to push the marble out of the line but without faulting yourself.

And after you’ve done all the required calculations, you finally take the shot. 

The aqua marble steadily rolls through the ground, passing the rest and bumping into the red marble with a soft clink but with enough force to send it towards the green limit. 

Your chest tightens upon seeing the aqua marble moving alongside the red one, fearing you might’ve shot it a bit harder than necessary, and consequently, pushing it out of the limit.

But your worries vanish into nothing once you see the red marble go over the bump of thread and the shooter stopping just before it can go past the limit. 

You eventually release an exhale of relief, deflating your shoulders to comfortably  relish on the gains of your training via your first victory.

An unexpected result that has Satoru’s attention circling back to you almost immediately upon realizing he might’ve just miscalculated the efforts of a 6 year old.

“Ok” Satoru says once you gestured his turn, readjusting himself into a more appropriate stance before laying his knuckles down to the ground, just as you’ve done, and preparing to take the decisive shot.

It’s easy, he thinks. It’s just like when he’s about to shoot one of his techniques onto the targets before him, this time however, far easier because it’s nothing more than a glass marble, right? An easy task for the talented, powerful, rich and handsome heir of the Gojo clan..

Wrong.

Satoru forgets how different it is to control objects that are out of his authorship.

It’s one thing to create energy and another to control energy.

There’s too many things to consider in the last scenario, too many influences that could easily shift the trajectory of his intentions, just like how the glass projectile was doing so.

And Satoru would’ve known all that, had he put attention on class instead of relying on his natural talent or bragging personality. It wouldn’t take much for him to realize he’d grossly undermined this entire game, as well as your determination to win, as he sees his marble dart past the limit due to exorbitant impulse, and plunging onto one of the bushes near the pagoda’s steps, causing you to silently cheer, once again, for another victory.

The heir of the Gojo clan can’t stop himself from sulking as he stands up to retrieve the marble from inside the bush, gently brushing it against his sweater to dust off any lingering dirt once out and getting back to his previous position.

He lowers himself once more in what seems an attempt to take another shot, but once you catch wind of his intentions, you vehemently object.  

“Hey!” You cry, placing your hand over his to stop him “Not fair! You lost!”

“Nu-uh, that was clearly a mistake” he poorly justifies, moving to the side in hopes to keep you off of him, to no avail for you simply stick to him like glue. “I wasn’t ready! Move!”

“No! The rules say you—you can’t” you stand your ground, slightly raising your voice to present yourself to him as intimidating, authoritarian—things that seemed to catch Satoru off his guard, for you’ve never done so in the past. “Don’t cheat!!”

And not wanting to continue seeing you act so weirdly, he concedes.

“Fine, whatever, have it your way!” He groans, tucking the marble away into one of his pockets and going back to his previous relaxed stance “You’ll lose anyway, I’m just going easy on you”

You don’t indulge him with an answer and the game continues on… with shocking instances.

Each and every turn that you take, you win. In fact, there’s not a single moment where you seem to falter in your winning streak, only adding to Satoru’s rising anxiety—he still can’t believe it! He barely managed to get less than 5 marbles in all the rounds he’s played against you and you… you have more!

Is he really going to lose against a wimpy girl like you?! Has hell frozen over already?!

It has, for at the end of the game, you were holding the largest number of marbles under your name: you won. And Satoru, with irrefutable evidence, is the sore loser.

“Hey, you cheated!” Satoru's first instinct to react upon an unwanted scenario is through defensiveness, damning the situation as much as his vocabulary permits him, as he continues to point fingers at you. “You didn’t play fair and square!”

“No!” You shake your head “I won!”

“Yeah, by cheating!” Satoru goes at it again “I demand a rematch! And with my own marbles, because these were tampered with!”

You tilt your head, brows furrowing as the word tampered bounces back from your vocabulary. But even if he’s spouting words that you don’t seem to understand, it doesn’t affect your feelings of gratification for having won, he can go on forever if he wants, and you’d still be a step closer to your objective.

“Ugh, whatever” Satoru groans as he puts down 6 marbles, the ones he managed to win in the 20-marble match + the one he borrowed from you. He still couldn’t believe that you actually managed to get 18 in a row, without faltering even once, where you possessed or something? Considering that,  could you really blame him for thinking you were cheating?

If there’s one thing that Satoru was glad of, however, was the end of this fiasco. 

Sure, he was a bit sore from losing, and knowing how dramatic he was it would probably take him a while to get over it, but that’s something he’ll manage. 

What he was looking forward to the most was knowing what you wanted from him—and so desperately to actually go beyond your usual behavior to approach him in the first place, for you are always stuck at the side of your family or friends, and win this match with flying colors. 

«You must be really desperate, Y/N-chan» he assumes.

“Well, spit it out” Satoru hurries you upon seeing your lingering gaze on him. “What do you want as a reward?”

“A kiss!”

Satoru chokes.

“What the—”

“No bad words!” you reprimand him mid sentence “I want a kiss”

Ok. Now that… is something he didn’t expect.

Of all things that a kid could ask for… why that? Couldn’t you settle down for a plushie, or toy, like any other kid? Is life at the L/N estate really that boring?

“Why do you want that? Doesn’t your dad dote on you too much already?” Puzzled Satoru, raising an eyebrow.

You don’t answer, for that is something you feel he doesn’t need to know—as well as wanting to avoid the barrage of jokes you know would follow suit.

“Alright” Satoru whispers at your unnerving silence «Y/N must really want that kiss, weird» “Um… now?”

“Yes!” You nod “Please”

So, without much to ask any further, or time to waste, Satoru fixes the collar of his hoodie as he moves closer to you to lean his face closer to yours. He’d usually push you around to do what he wanted, but considering he was the loser in this situation, he’d agreed to give you this consideration, extra recognition for your efforts.

But not without kicking you down a notch.

“Did you brush your teeth?” He asks, and you raise your eyebrows out of surprise.

“Oh I— I didn’t know” you faltered, a red streak crossing your cheeks “Did… I have to?”

The heir of the Gojo clan chuckles “Ah, don’t worry about it, it’s just that you had something on your teeth and I wanted to be sure”

You scrunch your face out of embarrassment, and fulfillment washes over Satoru’s features at the temporary gain of the upper hand.

Yet to complete his side of the bargain, and having enough fun out of your reaction, Satoru decides to move on by closing his eyes and starting to inch closer to your face.

At the notion of being just a few seconds away from experiencing the magical moment you’ve longed for as long as you can remember, you begin to mentally prepare for what’s to happen.

You never knew just how nerve wracking it would be to have someone so close to you as Satoru was at this very moment. You’ve had other people be close to you, your sister, your brother, your parents… and yet, it feels different coming from him.

It’s an overwhelming sensation that has you spontaneously shutting your eyes as your cheeks begin to warm up, followed by the harsh pounding of your heart, culminating in the subtle ring of your ears, giving you the impression that the world is spinning around you—and yet, seems to freeze just for the two of you.

Upon feeling his warmth graze over your lips, you quietly yelp. Testing your shoulders as you prepare yourself to ask what it was, but before you’re able to grimace out of confusion, he kisses you, and now, the world stops.

It’s inundating, suffocating, pulling all of your attention and energy onto the young boy before you, and yet, you felt as if there was no other place you belonged in.

It was warm, like a hug during a cold winter night, but much more personal, intimate, with a tenderness that made you believe he was afraid of hurting you, touching you. And yet, he couldn’t help himself from being pulled into your presence.

You never thought you’d receive this kind of attention from someone else, or ever in your life. But now that you have, you fear you won’t be able to let it go, because it’s a sweet, blossoming feeling that you’re slowly becoming addicted to, one that you wish you could hold on to forever. Is this… true love…?

…

…

…

Or that’s what you imagined how your first kiss would feel, according to the information gathered. Because as soon as his lips landed, no, crashed onto yours, you were abruptly back to reality by replacing your sensation of anticipation with that of  disappointment.

Your heart dropped down to your stomach upon realizing that a first kiss was nothing more than an awkward, rough (and a bit disgusting) peck of two mouths against each other, far away from the endearing picture cinema attempted to sell you. 

You naively even tried to give this gesture a few more seconds, believing that maybe you just needed to wait a bit longer to start feeling all those good things you were promised. But nothing came, and that’s when regret begins to settle in the void where your heart was once you realize that you went through so much, for absolutely nothing. 

Your first kiss turned out to be very, very mediocre, to say the least, a realization that prompts you to pity both yourself, for all of the sacrifices you committed to arrive at this point, and your sister, for she’s the one that has to look forward to being kissed dejectedly –by him no less!— for the rest of her life.

To think you wasted the perfect opportunity to get something far infinitely better out of Satoru, like immeasurable amounts of mochi or perhaps even a new toy, for this… well, this will serve as a lesson to be learned. Parents know best for a reason…

Satoru, completely oblivious to the inner workings of your mind, eventually peels himself away from you, gaze instinctively falling down to yours and onto a sight that has him… flabbergasted.

He really didn’t know what to expect from you, more so after he was surprised by your need for a kiss.

But he certainly did not anticipate to see your face twisted in such a way that he can't define it as nothing else but potent disgust.

"What is up with that face?!" He asks, hoping that by calling you out you'd have the decency to remove that… insulting reaction to his efforts, but far from achieving what he wanted you just twist your lips even more.

"I didn't like it…" you cringed.

"What do you mean you didn't like it?! You're the one who asked for it!"

And you wished he wouldn't remind you of that. But what's done is done, and all that's left is to confront reality.

"Is true love this… bad?" You ask him, and he's taken aback, yet again, by your unforeseen bluntness.

"Huh????" He seethed "True love?? What are you even talking about? That doesn't even exist!"

"Yes it does! Papa said mama is her true love!" You cry back, jumping to defend your parents "... but you kiss bad so I don't think you'll have a true love"

"What?? How would you even know that?!"  Satoru feels himself incapable of keeping up with your weird questions, and your even weirder statements. But two can play this game, and if your intent is to hurt him, then he knows exactly how to do that "You're ugly, and ugly people don't get true love" he'd start, enunciating the last part in a cheerful yet silly matter, as if to mock your naivety.

"I'm not ugly!" You'd retaliate "you're ugly! Nee-san deserves better"

Satoru's eye twitches.

"I let you win!"

"No, you didn't! I won fairly!" You say, showing off your gained marbles. "You're a bad loser!"

"Digimon is better than Pokémon!"

“No it's not!" You stick your tongue out "Silly!"

"Annoying!"

"Silly!!"

"Annoying!"

"Silly!!"

"Y/N-chaaaan!!" 

The two go immediately quiet upon hearing the foreign feminine voice sounding at the distance.

"Y/N-chaaaan!!” she calls again, this time, closer “Where are you? It's time for lunch!!"

Both heads now turn towards the directions of the voice, curiously attempting to figure out who was the one responsible before your calling.

"Y/N-chan!" Another voice yelled, much younger and much shriller compared to the other. Factors that pass undetected for Satoru, but all too recognizable for you.

It was Sumire, alongside her mother, looking for you by scanning through every passing room, in hopes of catching a glimpse of you. 

Too enthralled in your own schemes, you'd unknowingly lost track of time. You didn't even notice it was already past 3 PM, half an hour later than the time you usually have lunch, leading your absence to be worried and subsequently concerned for, because if they weren’t, why would they be looking for you?

"I have to go" you  mutter quickly, turning around to pick up your things from the ground and stash them into your pockets "Goodbye Sato-kun!!"

"Wait, Y/N!" He'd shout while attempting to reach for you, for he felt there was still so much to discuss before you left! 

But before he's able to stretch his arm and grasp you into place, you're already making your way towards the relieved mother—daughter duo, chirping on how hungry you suddenly realized to be, before fading into the many halls and rooms of the estate

And all that Satoru can do is continue to stare at your general direction, way more astonished than he was at the beginning of all this… deception, leaving him with an ocean with answerless questions and a turmoil of emotions that's bound to torment him for the rest of the day—and with time, you.

It’s often said that time is the greatest healer when it comes to matters of the heart, and fortunately you, this statement couldn’t be any more truthful.

As days went by, this small kissing incident began to hold little to no relevance in your life. Whether because you were back in school, hanging out with your friends, or partaking in the training you were obliged to perform once your technique was discovered—the truth was that you rarely found yourself pondering back on this icky situation. 

Well, why would you? It’s not something that you liked. At all. You even began to watch romantic movies with slight skepticism. 

The only couple that preserved part of your admiration were your parents, because they were different of course, considering they were always loving and caring towards you and your siblings, as well as with one another, so you deemed it unnecessary to worry about them suffering the same dullness you did when they kissed—a decision that was greatly influenced by your love for them as well, and your mind wasn’t about to break that beautiful bond.

But Satoru was… complicated. You tried to reason as to why he’d been so bad at what he did, but a quick trip down memory lane would help you obtain the answers you needed: there’s a reason as to why your siblings didn’t like him that much, and why your father seemed to be uneasy whenever he had to go to the Gojo estate. You didn’t really get any of these signs at first, but now that you experienced it first hand, you understood everything.

Did you hold the same dislike towards him as your siblings did? No, you still liked having him around from time to time. When he wasn’t annoying, he could be quite entertaining. 

Did you think that maybe, your outcome would’ve been different if it was someone they liked? Probably so. 

Will you seek out another kiss? Hell no. That’s something you wished to never experience again—it was icky, awkward, and a bit rough if you were being completely honest. 

So with that conclusion, you decide to put matters to rest once and for all.

But just as you were more than ready to place your attention on more important matters, move on from this situation onto something better… there was someone that couldn’t force himself to do so: Satoru.

To him, the other party involved in your unexpected schemes, things were barely starting.

While you were getting ready to receive what tomorrow brought, either through your family or friends, Satoru found himself in a tighter spot than you cared to ponder. 

To him, time didn’t serve as a cure to his problems, if anything, it only highlighted them.

There was a burning sensation settling deep inside of his core, something that… irked him, irritated him, whenever he saw you carefree towards your surroundings—towards him. 

The oath you and Satoru silently took to avoid speaking of this matter wasn’t what bothered him, if anything, he was in full agreement to carry it out, for he didn’t want to deal with the gossip that might come with it, less your father’s anger: he already had enough of it with Hinata, he didn’t need more added on his plate through you.

But it was never stipulated that you’d ignore him too!

It seemed that his narcissistic need to have all attention on him was starting to rebel against your actions and his emotions. He just… wasn’t used to being used like this, people getting things out of him, and then being discarded!

It was always the other way around, and that’s how it’s going to be, for the rest of his life until he dies!

Oh, how cruel you’d been to just neglect him like that.

So, with his mind set onto a new course of action, he decided to make his move one day hew knew you to be alone and stored away in one of the studio's your parents had set up for you and your siblings to do homework after school, intending to remind you of the crimes you’ve committed against him.

“Ahem, Y/N-chan” Satoru would begin, clearing his throat as he leaned against the frame of the door, to catch your attention. It’s made through such a discernible way that leads you to lift your head away from the notebooks before you and up to him, confusedly staring back at him as you wondered why he was there, instead of training with your sister.

Was he perhaps… sick?

“Hi… Satoru-kun” you respond, a subtle pout on your lips as you make out the frown on his face. “Are you ok?”

Your question, although innocent, only serves to ignite another wave of irritation towards your apparent obliviousness.

“What do you mean if I’m ok?” He chided “You really don’t know what you’ve done, do you?”

You blink, if you were somewhat confused, you were now undeniably puzzled.

“What do you mean?” You say, instinctively looking back down at your homework “Did I do something wrong?” Kanji has never been your strength, but you didn’t really think you were doing that bad, less for him to identify as soon as he entered the room!

“What?! No!” he snapped “I’m not talking about that!”

“Then… what?” you tilt your head, and he rolls his eyes. Guess he needs to spell it out for you, after all.

“Don’t act dumb! Why are you ignoring me after kissing me?? Do you know how irresponsible it is for you to act that way?” He’d revealed, but your mind stopped listening to his words after he apparently insulted you.

“I’m not dumb” You frown “No bad words!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, language—whatever ” He rolled his eyes. The no bad words policy in your house was somewhat annoying, more so when he didn’t have that restriction back at his estate, but it’s something he’s able to digest if it meant getting what he wanted from you. “Still not good enough, Y/N. You can’t go around doing bad things and not being responsible about them!”

“What did I do wrong??” you fretted, his words pushing you to fear the worst “I’m not ignoring you…”

“You kissed me! And you then acted as if nothing ever happened!” He repeats, feeling fulfilled for finally cornering you where he wanted… only to see your face twist into confusion, yet again, for his nonsensical banter.

“But I didn’t like it” you carefully remind him “You kiss badly”

“That’s not—we’re not going to discuss that!” Satoru exclaims, surprisingly…. Offended for someone who didn’t want to kiss you in the first place. “Do you know how bad it would look if I told your elders you were being irresponsible with me? Hina-chan would be very disappointed…”

He attempts to coerce you, but having known Hinata way better than him, it doesn’t work.

“No, she won’t” you dismiss his claim almost immediately “Nee-san always tells me she’s proud of me!”

Satoru rolls his eyes, again. He clearly misunderstood the kind of relationship you had with her, he should’ve expected it though, you were always stuck to her side like some kind of leech…

“Then nii-chan will” he attempted to avow, but you didn’t react.

“Nii-chan doesn’t like you” you add nonchalantly and Satoru feels personally attacked by this sudden revelation. He was aware that Ren avoided him more than not, but he never thought he actually disliked him!

“You don’t know what you’re saying!” He says, attempting to protect whatever dignity he has left. Gosh, have you always been this oblivious?? “Then your dad will! Because dads don’t like when their daughters hurt other people! And you don’t want to see him sad, do you?”

At the notion of facing the dreadful scenario you have undergone in the past, you finally succumb to his trap.

“No… I don’t” you murmur, briefly looking down to the floor before glancing up to him “I don’t want papa to be sad at me…”

“Then do as I say and you’ll be out of trouble” Satoru advises, holding back a grin from parting his lips at his newfound victory in the shape of your saddening eyes and pout “Now, don’t be sad Y/N-chan! I’ll forgive you for avoiding me” he attempts to console you by patting your head, all with a deceiving nature of course. “That way, otou-san won’t be sad either!”

“But I’m not—” you proceed to explain by moving away from his hand, but your efforts are for naught for he overpowers you by keeping you put.

“I knew you’d come around!” he says, proceeding to roughly shuffle the top of your head until your hair looks something like a bird’s nest, much to your annoyance.

You thread your fingers in your hair in an attempt to place them back into place, but just as you’re about to speak out against his unwanted gesture, the distant voice of your sister snaps both your attention and his onto the hallway.

Satoru, already envisioning the type of fractious reaction Hinata is going to have once she sees you with him, decides to run away.

“Uh, see you around Y/N! Keep doing your homework, you’re doing great by the way!” He bids farewell and makes his way back out through the door, fast enough to stop you from responding, but not enough to avoid bumping into Hinata, who had gotten there earlier than he anticipated thanks to the eagerness she had for showing you the all new things she learned while training, which prompted her to run towards you as soon as she was dismissed.

An enthusiasm that disappeared as soon as she laid eyes on Satoru, replacing her cheerful features with a nasty scowl once realizing what went on.

“Why were you there, furby?!” she yelps, stomping her way to Satoru. It is almost amusing to see how the boy that considered himself to be a god amongst mortals fell to your sister's intimidation within seconds of seeing her.

“Gee, I wasn’t doing anything!” He whines, darting away from your sister before she’s able to land her hand against his arm “Ha! You missed!”

“What was that?” Hinata retorted, and Satoru chuckled.

“No! Nothing of course! Maybe you should be more concerned about taking a shower, you stink!” He’d proceed to snicker, pinching his nose to theatrically annoy her even more.

“I just finished training!” she argued back “You’d know if you took your job seriously”

Satoru groans. Hinata had always been stuck up that way—job, work, responsibility, those were her usual catchphrases. Why couldn’t she let loose once in a while and enjoy her life?

“Yeah whatever, smelly” he waves his hand, dismissing her “Anyways, goodbye! See you later, Hinata! Oh, and Y/N… be sure to remind your sister to take a shower!”

Hinata sees him off while shooting a barrage of mocking nicknames at his back until he’s finally out of his sight. It’s only until then that she decides to turn around and see you, the frown on her features disappearing as soon as she sees your focused intent to the homework in front.

“Are you almost done, imouto-chan?” she says, making her way to your side and sitting besides you. “I hope Satoru didn’t distract you that much”

“No, he didn’t” you say, somewhat truthfully, as your eyes remain glued to the papers on the table.

Hinata sighs “You can tell me if he bothers you! He’s always so annoying, he thinks that because he doesn’t have anything to do everyone else is the same! He’s the most irresponsible boy I have ever met! Luckily, Ren-nii is not like that”

“Yeah… he’s not”

“... Are you sure Satoru didn’t say anything to you?”

He did.

However… you weren’t about to tell her that, not when Satoru basically blackmailed you into doing whatever he wanted if you didn’t want to make your dad sad. And keeping this conversation between the two was one of those requirements.

So, holding your word, you shake your head.

“No” you say “He just wanted to play with someone since you weren’t here”

“Oh, really?” Hinata tilts her head to the side, somewhat… confused, because the instructor had told her that Satoru was to skip practice because he was sick. Just to show what a deceitful little boy he is. “Well, if you say so”

And with that situation appropriately dealt with, Hinata can finally move onto another subject that has her equally concerned.

“...Do you… think I smell?” she asked, discreetly moving her head towards her armpits and sniffing them.

Satoru might’ve forced you to keep silent about their conversation, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t be truthful on everything that happened afterwards.

And thus, with a toothy grin, you chortled.

“Yes!”

Had you known that striking that deal with Satoru corresponded to making a deal with the devil itself, you would’ve fought harder to reject him.

Because from that very day forward, he started treating you as some kind of errand girl. Wherever he went, you were expected to follow suit. If he wanted something, like a drink or a snack, you were also the one to bring it to him. But if you attempted to sneak away from his requests, he was quick to remind you just how improper you’ve been towards him and how disappointed your father would be if he ever got word of it.

So, you were quickly put back in your place, much to your regret and Sumire’s, who had begun to miss your presence.

Oh, if you could only go back in time and listen to your parents…

But even then, having to work for him wasn’t as insufferable as he was when speaking of the rest.

Because forcing you to tag along behind him wasn’t enough, he also had to have fun out of your reactions.

He’d start by scaring you with what currently was your biggest ick, himself.

“You know, if you want to get better at kissing we just have to continue practicing!”

You’d grimace your face in a combination of fear and disgust—Satoru, having overcome the offense your reaction initially gave him, only laughed.

He’d later move on to another one of your fears, facing the elders themselves.

“The elders wouldn’t like to hear you kiss me when I’m going to be your sister’s husband!”

“...What do you mean?” you dared to ask.

“We have to get married, Y/N! It’s only fair to cover the adultery we committed”

You didn’t even want to know what he meant by that—it sounded bad by itself, you don’t want to traumatize yourself even further.

“No, I don’t want to marry you” you huffed, finding the idea ludicrous, while Satoru is having the time of his life at your expense.

And that had basically been the conditions of your existence, that is, until he began to approach your limit.

You were capable of tolerating his tedious requests, his annoying insistences, even the secrecy you hated to have with your siblings, all to keep your family content—to a certain point.

But there had to be a limit to his villainy, and if he didn’t have one, you certainly did.

And that limit took the form of a bad joke, one that cut a bit too close to your heart, and the one that pushed you to break all inhibitions and let him have it.

“Now that I think about it, Y/N-chan, I don’t think anyone else will have you once they know you kissed me. I mean, you basically kissed me knowing I was engaged to your sister, and that’s a crime in many districts! But I’ll marry you, so don’t worr—”

The sound of glass crashing against the floor cuts him abruptly.

“What was that?” he asks, lifting his gaze from the comic book he was reading and onto your direction, leading him to eventually find glass shards gathering near your feet. “Oh, silly Y/N, you gotta be careful with—”

“Why are you being so annoying, Satoru?!” you say, turning around to face him without care if you hurt your feet with one of the sharp glass shards on the floor “That was going too far!”

“Gee, that was only a joke!” He frets, lifting up from his seat and making his way towards you. He hopes to move you away from the lingering danger on your feet by placing his hands over your shoulders, but you,  who had reached your limit and past it, could only see red as you shoved him away “Hey!”

“I’m done with you!” you raged, no longer wanting to entertain his idiocy. “I did everything you wanted, heard you say stupid things every day… but I won’t let you say that!”

He blinks, he’s never seen this kind of anger coming from you, or anyone for that matter. Not even Hinata, who he considered to be the most hot-blooded woman he’s ever met in his life, reached your parameters.

And it’s safe to say, he doesn’t like it. Not one bit

“Ok, I may have messed up a bit there” Satoru says, feeling somewhat guilty by the way you reacted. “But you don’t have to get all—”

“I don’t care!” you cry, stomping your feet against the wooden floor “You’re too rude towards me! Why?? What did I even do to you??”

And Satoru flinches at the introspective question thrown at him.

That was a good question. Why did Satoru start this spectacle to begin with? Why did he have a hard time moving on from this, compared to you? Why did he seem to latch onto this, more than anyone else would’ve probably done?

Well, that’s easy.

Because just like you, that was also his first kiss.

It’s something that he always envisioned to be somewhat… mundane, having long accepted that it would happen with your sister at one point in his life, just how all things seemed to be with him through the jujutsu community.

But when you came along with that outrageous proposal, a ray of hope for something different began to part the gray clouds of his horizon, thus, he was quick to accept it.

To see you discard it so easily and without consideration as to how he felt, however, it pained him. It gave him the impression that, just as the other people around him, you simply used him to get what you wanted and nothing more

He had yet to understand you were nothing more than a child, things like taking advantage of him, or discarding him with malicious intent, were out of your possibilities. 

But being forced to see the world differently from a very young age, he’d forgotten what it is to be a child. So, he attempts to seek comfort in the only way he’s ever known how to: gaining control over the situation, by all means necessary.

Which leads him to resort to his last option upon seeing you slipping through his fingers, an attack that has proven to be hurtful to you in the past, and would undoubtedly set you back on track:

“I’ll tell your dad if you—”

“I don’t care!” you bite back, no longer afraid once your patience ran out, much to his unwanted surprise. “Tell him, papa doesn’t like you anyways!”

And for the second time in his life, you manage to freeze him on the spot.

He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe those words came from your mouth. Did you really mean that? Did you really mean to renounce the promise you made with him and… walk away? And most of all… did you really not care for him?

Yes. Yes you didn’t. Doubling down on that statement when you essentially disappeared from his sights.

You were no longer entertaining him, not interested in playing his stupid games and he had to face this new reality. Less when he hurt you. That was now his problem, not yours.

Satoru no longer had a place in your mind, not when you needed to worry about him telling your dad about what you did with him—the mere thought of seeing your overprotective father fretting about your mistakes was enough to ignite terror within you, but even then, that worries were to be for naught, for the Gojo heir wasn’t stupid enough to actually telling him—nor would he actually believe him.

He already knew how scary Eiichi could be when prompted. And while he had yet to see your mother angry, he didn’t want to risk it either, so he’ll keep quiet.

But that isn’t the end of his problems, if anything, they just got worse. 

He’d gone too far up his own head, that he failed to realize he was starting to lose self control when treating you: from asking you to do things for him, to mocking you, he now pushed you so far away from him, that you might never come back.

It’s a regretful outcome, but yet… perhaps out of comfort to himself and previous experiences, still be salvageable. He couldn’t… Well, he couldn’t lose his errand girl!!

That’s it. 

He’ll wait… he’ll be patient for you to cool down as well, and you’ll eventually come around to him, right? You can’t possibly ignore him for the rest of his life, more so when he’s bound to marry your sister…

But as the days passed, far from obtaining what he wanted, it only seemed to give you what you wanted instead: which was his complete absence, as well as time with your friends.

It wouldn’t take long for him to notice that you were now, truly, ignoring him completely. You didn’t even bother to greet him when he came to visit the estate, or vice versa, only doing so whenever your parents were present because they asked you!!

Oh, he had truly messed up, big time. And how is he going to fix all this? By the only way he knows, of course—through meek and confusing attempts! 

Because it was hard for the holder of the six-eyes, who had never been expected to be kind or prudent to others, to open up his heart and truthfully admit how sorry he was for having treating you as badly as he did, as well as hoping to regain his friendship with you, after all, you were the only one that seemed genuinely happy to see him whenever he was around.

So, wanting to make things better, the first thing that he would do to grab your attention was hide away your favorite cup, the one the staff would always use to serve your drinks during lunch.

He’d committed the deed one moment the servants focused on completing other tasks. He took advantage of the slightest window provided by their distraction and swooped in to kidnap your cup, silently and without anyone to notice him.

Your reaction was of no surprise: you were rightfully upset upon noticing the absence of the Pikachu cup —a gift from your brother— growing more and more concerned after one of the staff members tells you they can’t find it. 

It was also unusual, to say the least, because they were meticulous enough to place it back in the same spot, just besides your siblings and parent’s cups, every day after use. They virtually turned the whole state around in efforts to find it, and yet, it was nowhere to be found!

Did you perhaps take it to your room and forgot to bring it back? Or did you take it to school and you just didn’t remember?

Well, it was somewhere. Just not under your domain, more precisely, under Satoru’s… in his room back at the Gojo estate.

But even with his careful strategy, you still failed to connect two and two together. Well, it’s not like he signed the crime scene for you to figure out, thus, after seeing no results, he moved onto the next step of his plan.

The second thing he would do, and the one that finally got you to place your sights on him, was another kidnapping. This time, a higher value target: your favorite plushie.

The small green colored frog previously noted by your father to be the focus of your infatuation, the same one your parents gave you after going on holiday.

He repeated the same steps to attack, waiting patiently for the right window to open, this time of your unawareness, to sneak into your room and get the plush out from your bed and hide it away.

After that was done, it was only a matter of hours for you to come back home from school to see the atrocious act committed in the crime scene that was your bedroom. 

When your cries became apparent throughout the whole estate, he knew his plan to effectively be in motion

“Mamaaaa!!” You’d wail, frenziedly running to your mother and crashing into her arms as soon as you found her “Maamaaaaa” you’d continue to sob, pressing your face against her legs as she quickly lowered down to your level and cupped your face.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?! Why are you crying??”

“My—my frog…. It’s gone…!”

“Frog…?” Minako carefully repeats, trying to point out which plushie you were referring to specifically since you had a mountain of them.

“The green one mama!” you’d remind her, tugging at her sleeve “The one you and papa got for me on… on….”

“The green…—Oh!” She gasps, enlightenment filling her mind “The one we got when we went to visit grandma and grandpa?”

You hum in response.

“Oh, did you search well? It must be in your room… unless there’s a chance you took it to school?”

“I didn’t take it!” You cry back while rubbing your tears away. Minako softly intertwines her fingers with yours upon seeing your motions becoming a bit too rough against your skin, taking the task of wiping your sadness away for herself. “It was in my room, but I came back and it wasn’t there….”

“Have you asked the staff? They sometimes confuse your toys with those of your siblings…” She attempts to reassure you, but too deep in the sorrow of your froggy’s absence, you can’t help but yelp in despair yet again.

“No! Hina-nee doesn’t have it, or Ren-nii! ” You diminish her suggestion, having already gone through this trial beforehand. Your siblings were just as baffled as you were upon hearing the sudden disappearance of your sudden toy, but still remained oblivious to the culprit behind it.

“That’s odd… are you sure you checked everywhere in your room? Or how about Sumire-chan? Maybe she borrowed it!”

“No, she doesn’t have it either…” Sumire would’ve let you know the moment she saw it if that was the case. Or her mother for that matter.

“Ah, well, I’ll ask around the staff if they haven’t seen it, but if we can’t find it we can always buy another one…”

And yet, the solution of getting another one didn’t feel as comforting as Minako would’ve wanted. The mere thought of having to replace froggy, your beloved green amphibian which you were virtually inseparable from, brought you such excruciating pain that you just had to let her know you weren’t about to give up on this search.

“Little one, please don’t cry… Maybe the reason you haven’t found froggy is because he went back to his family, you know there’s not a lot of frogs here, maybe he was feeling lonely” Minako’s slight desperation and concern prompted her to create a rather… fictitious alternative. And while this was something she didn’t actively prompt… What parent hasn’t told a little white lie to their kids?

And you do seem to consider her explanation, even if for a quick second, somewhat agreeing with your mother now that you remember you didn’t didn’t have any other frogs outside of froggy himself, so it was only natural that he felt lonely and went to search his—

No! That never seemed to be a problem for you before! Froggy was always happy to tag along in your adventures, it’s only after things started to get weird around you that this happened!

Meaning… someone was intentionally messing with you, and if you consider past successions, there’s only one person that could fit that category!

“No, Mama! Someone took froggy away! And I know who did it!”

“That’s quite the accusation, little one, why don’t we start by aski—”

“Is this the frog you were looking for?” A voice suddenly cuts through your mother’s words. Soft, indicating the young age of the speaker, but direct and confident, enough to snap your and your mom’s attention onto its direction.

Low and behold, standing just by the door frame, appeared the familiar figure of the white haired boy famously known as the strongest sorcerer, the heir of the Gojo clan. 

Hands behind his back, and the sunset glowing from right behind him, it made him look like some kind of saint coming down from the heavens to your rescue, as if he weren’t the one responsible for all your hardships.

“Satoru-kun!” Your mother would greet, a smile on her face as she waved at him “How are you? I wasn’t expecting you to be here after school, hoping to stay the night? If so, let me get a room ready”

You were more than ready to voice your aversion, but he won you at it.

“Oh, no, thank you. I just wanted to visit, okaa-san” Satoru explains as he begins to move closer to the pair while diligently keeping his arms behind him. His commitment to remain in such a pose inadvertently raises your assumptions to a never seen before level, one that makes you feel indescribably rage towards him. “But on my way here, I found this at the gardens''

He proceeds to reveal the object behind his back, and when the sight of his “surprise” stepped into your view, your beliefs were finally set in stone.

“Oh look, pumpkin!” Minako exclaimed, gesturing towards the plushie. She hoped that by hyping the return of your plushie your sorrow would disappear, letting your cheerful nature take over and ultimately, celebrate its reunion. 

She knew you well enough to assume so, and you’d probably would’ve as she anticipated, down to the smallest details, had you not known all that transpired beforehand “It’s froggy! I knew it couldn’t be lost”

Satoru hands you over the stuffed frog, and with that, his intentions to communicate with you. But far from interpreting it as a symbolic white flag to put a stop to this senseless conflict between the two, you took it as another declaration of war.

“What do we say, baby?” Minako says after seeing you reach out for the frog and pulling it close to you—all while in complete silence. 

You wanted to beg her not to force you to do so and reveal that he’d been the one responsible for froggy’s disappearance (and your cup as well). But knowing your mother to be completely charmed by Satoru’s deceitful act, and probably giving you a slight scolding for accusing him without evidence, you begrudgingly relent to doing as she asked.

“...Thank you, Satoru” you grumbled, carefully to not earn your mother’s discontent, but seemingly clear enough for him to get the idea—removing all honorifics to enunciate just how upset you remained with him.

And get the idea he does, and while it slightly annoys him, it’s not enough to have him give up on you.

“You’re welcome!” Satoru bows, and you hold back the nauseating urge to stick your tongue out. “I’m going to stick around for a while if you want to play! Probably not too long since my parents don’t like me staying out too late” It’s his way to tell you I want to talk, but you’re not buying it. Not one bit.

“Oh, well, if you end up wanting to stay, I can call your parents” your mom suggested, but he simply shook his head.

“Nah, it’s fine. Thank you though” He smiles, bidding farewell with another nod “See you around, Y/N-chan! 

And he kept his word, mainly through your mother’s insistence of appreciation, but this time, you weren’t going to be careless. The days of ignoring Satoru were officially gone.

This time, you were going to act.

Knowing well that you had to be careful in who you trusted, and to keep your ideas to yourself if you were to maintain the element of surprise, you sought out the only person you considered to be trustworthy enough to reveal your plans.

The one that has stuck with you through highs and lows, and the one you’d give your life for! (quite dramatic for a 6 year old)

Away from the blood ties of your family, you referred to your best friend: Sumire. 

Having virtually grown alongside you, the kind of relationship that grew between the two was of complete trust—no secrets. Meaning that as soon as she knew of your intentions, she was more than willing to sacrifice whatever was necessary to achieve your goal.

Her decision was partially influenced by her own emotions, for she too was angry at him: he’d essentially plucked you away from her when he coerced you into obeying all of his commands, and it was indisputable that you were absolutely miserable for it!

Sumire could never forget the sorrowful look on your face as you followed him around—and he’ll never forgive him!

So, during one late Friday night, underneath the covers of your futon and through hushed whispers, planning began.

“Chumi-chan, we need to do something about Satoru!” You’d begin, laying down on your futon and besides Sumire.

“Count me in!” She replied, mirroring the fiery determination in your eyes as she turned around to rest on her stomach and inch closer to you “Should we dye his hair black??”

“No, that’s too much!” you chuckle, shaking your head. It was tempting, but too radical. “Maybe another time”

“Hmmm… then what? Can you steal something from him?”

“...Like what?”

“His toys! All of them! And then he’ll know not to mess with us!”

“No, Chumi… How am I going to do that? He’s going to know it’s me if I do the same…” you needed to be extra careful, not taking chances this time. “I want something different!”

“Then what?” Sumire ponders defeatedly, who would’ve known plotting revenge could be so hard?

“I don’t know…” you groan, plunging your head against the pillow beneath you. “He’s so dumb! And all for a stupid kiss!!”

“Poor Hina-chan…” Sumire sighs, pitying your sister, who’s bound to spend the rest of his life with him, as she pats your back. “Why don’t you tell your parents? He’ll listen to them!”

“No… papa is going to get angry at me…” you remind her—this all started because you disobeyed them… and you don’t want to deal with their disappointment on top of Satoru’s insane antics. Oh, and if this made way to the elders… you shivered at the thought.

“How about your nii-san? Or Hina-chan instead!” your friend continued to suggest, but they were equally fruitless solutions. 

“No! I can’t tell nee-chan or nii-san! They’re going to tell everyone after being angry with me! You’re the only one I trust, Chumi” you yelp as you lift your head from the pillow and stare right into her eyes “Promise me you’ll keep this a secret! No one must know what we’re planning!”

“I promise” Sumire nods, extending her little finger to you and intertwining them “But… then… what are we going to do?”

“Oh, I don’t know” you sigh, stopping mid-way as a yawn escapes your lips, serving as a reflection of how tired this prolonged ordeal had you. “I hate this”

Sumire frowns. She certainly doesn’t like seeing Satoru being insufferable towards you and the hold he seemingly has over you, but if there’s something that she dislikes the most, it’s the absence of the fun and funny side of her best friend.

So, wanting to indulge in the good ol’ days, she proposes a temporary distraction.

“How about we watch a movie?” She’d say, pushing herself up from the futon and running towards her bag, the one her mother had filled with clothes and a few extra things to aid her stay at the L/N estate, amongst them, entertainment. After a few seconds of scrambling through her belongings, she pulls out a box “Mama got me this one!”

It’s a brand new VHS, the cover art revealing it to be Disney’s Peter Pan.

“Oooh, I haven’t seen that one!” You marvel, excitement in your eyes as you cheer on “Let’s watch it!!”

She agrees by moving towards the TV, already plugged to a VHS player, and sticks the cassette into the entry slot. Sumire grabs the controller and heads back to your side.

You adjusted the pillows in a specific way so you can both laydown comfortably on the futon, but still be able to see the movie. 

And so, after a few commercials and a title card the movie starts. 

However, the girls are unable to finish the movie, for drowsiness begins to settle in their small eyes when the protagonists travel for the first time to Neverland, skipping the entirety of the sequence when the lost boys shoot Wendy down from the sky, only to open them at the mermaid scene.

Sumire briefly regains consciousness when this sequence appears on screen, arising to her as some kind of inspiration for your Gojo problem, but just before she’s able to turn around and tell you that she’s found a cure to all your illnesses, she falls asleep again.

Wanting to obtain a solution as quickly and secretly as possible, you and Sumire began to drill each other with all kinds of options to enact revenge on the wrongdoer Satoru. 

From the very moment you’d wake up by the sun hitting your eyes, she’d search for you to tell you just about any new idea that crossed her mind—which were many, but unfortunately, none of them were good enough to fill the necessary requirements. 

It was just… not enigmatic enough, not impactful enough, not… good enough.

Being as young as the girls were, it often meant there were little to no tools to use in to their advantage without getting in trouble themselves: and while sitting down with Satoru and talk would be the easiest, most efficient way to put and end to this struggle, you were still grieving by his betraying words. 

No 6 year old deserved to be told that no one would care for them just because of a simple mistake they made out of curiosity—what were his intentions anyways? Did he find joy in making you sad? Making you feel less? Well, whatever his reasoning, you refused to forgive him so easily.

Both girls were really at the disadvantage here. No matter where they looked, no matter what they said, they just continued to bump into dead ends. 

A predicament that began to take a toll on both, but more so on Sumire, who upon feeling the continuing weight of your sorrow on her shoulders, made her feel that she wasn’t doing good enough.

And so, she began to get more and more frustrated by each passing day, starting to exert such feelings through her chores, her mood, and inadvertently… to her concerned mother.

“How was school today?” Ayaka, Sumire’s mother, would ask her daughter, just as she always did, as soon as she crossed the gates of the L/N estate and made her way to her.

From there, the two would exchange hugs and kisses, before she’d lead her towards her bedroom, intending to change her into more comfortable clothes before sending her off to get dinner.

Her mother labeled these moments as her favorite part of the day—the simplicity of spending time with her daughter, who wouldn't take much longer to start rambling about all the fun things she did at school once she asked that question, brought her pure happiness.

Unfortunately, it had been a while since Sumire had the energy to partake in the recollections of the day, too focused on helping you out and the frustration her powerlessness brought her—instead, she remained silent.

Ayaka had noticed this change of behavior from her for a while now, but she didn’t really think much of it at first. She believed Sumire to be having a bad day, and once she slept it off, she’d be back to the usual  cheery demeanor she always carried.

However, it had become alarmingly clear that there was something far deeper than Sumire let on, and Ayaka, unable to see her daughter acting tepidly any longer, decided to finally act.

“Chumi, what’s wrong?” She’d ask, helping her daughter out of her school uniform by lifting her arms, with her obliging rather… half-heartedly. “Did you get in trouble?”

“No, never mama” Sumire responded, lowering her arms once the shirt was off.

“Then what is it?” She tries again “Are you upset with Y/N?”

Ayaka can’t think of anything else that could’ve affected her as much as that. It’s something of an uncommon occurrence, oh, but when it happens… It's as if the world were ending for both girls.

“No!” Her daughter cries, and by judging her daughter's tone, Ayaka feels like you were indeed the reason behind her concern.

“Is it something about Y/N?”

“...No”

Bingo.

“Sumire, you know you can trust me with anything” the mother coos as she dresses her daughter with another shirt and a warm sweater “I've noticed for a while that you seem rather… aloof, quiet. And as your mother, I can’t help but worry…”

“I’m sorry mama” She sighs, leaning into her mother’s chest for an embrace, which she all too happily obligated “I didn’t mean to worry you! But I promised not to tell Y/N and I want to help her get revenge!”

“Revenge?” Ayaka blinks, and Sumire mentally chastises herself for talking too much.

“Nothing!” The young child yelps, attempting to diffuse the situation by moving onto the removal of her skirt.

“Sumire…” she warns, and the girl concedes soon after.

“...Ok mama! I’ll tell you, but don’t tell anyone ok?!” And without suppression, Sumire reveals your intentions “It all started because Y/N-chan wanted to know why Hinata-chan was getting married and not her! But nobody wanted to tell her so she went with Ren-kun, but he didn’t know either so he put her to see movies, and then Y/N-chan saw that maybe if she got kissed she would know about it! And because nobody wanted to help her, she started to plan how to get a kiss, but her otou-san wasn’t going to let her, so she kept it a secret, but not from me because I’m her best friend in the whole wide world! So she decided to—”

“Wait, wait, waitwaitwaitwait, hold on there, Chumi” Ayaka weakly chuckles, gesturing her to slow down by raising her hands “Kiss? Y/N wanted a kiss?”

“Yes!” Sumire whines, slightly frustrated that her mom wouldn’t understand the clearness of it all. But could anyone blame Ayaka? “Can I continue…?”

“Oh, yes, of course” Her mother nods, wanting to hear more about this… curious revelation. She was effectively amused the same way she was intrigued—who knew Eiichi’s and Minako’s kids would turn out to be so… witty? “What happened after that?”

“Y/N-chan got a kiss from Satoru, but she didn’t like it so he told him, so he decided to make her his errand girl! But he was really mean to her… so Y/N-chan left him and now he wont stop being annoying!”

“Wait, Sumire!” Ayaka gasps, amusement out the window upon realizing your determination pushed you to actually obtain what you wanted, and from someone important no less, the heir of the Gojo clan, your sister’s future husband!. 

It’s only now that the woman realizes just the kind of trouble both girls got themselves in, specifically, if Eiichi got to hear about this… “Satoru? Gojo-sama??”

“You’re not listening to me!” She pouts, crossing her arms “And he doesn’t deserve to be called sama, he’s a jerk!”

“Sumire, don’t say that” Ayaka corrects and the girl sheepishly apologizes. “So… that’s the reason why you want to help Y/N? To get back at him because he won’t stop… annoying her?”

“Yes mama! And now that I told you, you can help us too!” Sumire concludes “Y/N-chan says that I shouldn’t tell the adults because they’re going to tell on her” 

«And with good reason…» Ayaka ponders.

“But you’re different, because you’re my mama and I can trust you!”

“I… think you should sit this one out, baby” She carefully advises “Why not let her parents handle it? It shouldn’t have been a secret to begin with…”

“No! You have to promise not to tell them!” Sumire cries “Or they’ll get angry with Y/N-chan, and she’ll know it was me, and then she’ll get angry with me!!”

Ayaka wishes to comfort her daughter by two easy steps:

Firstly, she doubts you’ll ever be angry with her, at least in the way she’s imagining. Or at all…

Secondly, by telling her that your parents—Eiichi specifically—will be far angrier with Satoru than you, at least from what she’s been able to assume, because he’s the oldest and therefore, he should’ve known better. However, she doesn’t consider it appropriate to rattle whatever little authority he has before the kids left after these revelations 

So, she bites the bullet—but not without setting her daughter back on the right track.

“Ok, alright, baby. I promise I won’t tell. But in turn, promise me that you’ll tell Y/N to talk with her parents—It’s not good to keep secrets from parents, communication is always the best solution”

An advice Sumire has yet to comprehend in its entirety, but one she’s willing to try. More so after the following praise.

“You’re a good friend, Sumire. And I’m sure Y/N appreciates it… But… take it easy, you’re just a kid. Have fun!” she says, kissing the top of her head “Now, how does baking a pie sound like, hm?”

Sumire’s eyes glisten with excitement, mouth watering as she begins to envision the soft yet crunchy texture of the warm crust against her lips alongside a tall glass of milk.

“Can it be an apple pie??? Or a pecan pie!! Oh… I don’t know” Sumire pouts “I like all of them…”

“Only if you accompany to the market to get the ingredients” Ayaka winks and the child squeals in response, an adorable sight that has her heart squeezing with admiration—her daughter finally back to the usual cheerful, carefree self she loves so much.

“Oh, oh! And can we give some to Y/N-chan and her siblings??? Not Satoru though…”

“We have to be nice, Chumi, even if you don’t like them”

“...I guess…”

So, once the child was out of her uniform and into her everyday clothes, the mother grabbed her small hand and led her onto the common path towards the nearby village, where the weekly farmer’s market was to be found.

She initially planned for Sumire to stay back at the estate and have her finish whatever homework she had for the day, but after this small yet shocking revelation, Ayaka found it in her responsibilities to offer her some kind of distraction, a break from all the fuzziness.

And maybe, for herself too. 

Ayaka couldn’t believe the things that were happening with her kid when she wasn’t looking—it almost made her feel like she couldn’t get her eyes off them without them plunging into trouble. 

Well, in your and Sumire’s defense, both girls were relatively good girls who occasionally got into mischief, so a prank or misconduct once in a while was to be expected, and certainly, not something to reprimand them so harshly on. 

But Satoru… well, from what little she’s been able to observe from him whenever he was around, he’d always leaned more into evil than good. Ren didn’t entertain him, so no complaints from his side. Hinata… even if she liked him, or not, he was stuck with him—they still got along though, when they had a similar goal in mind, that is— 

And then you. Who kept a relatively good relationship with him, but because you were somewhat oblivious to his nature. However, as soon as you began to grow and began to observe your surroundings… that’s when things began to change.

It makes sense why everything started to happen the way it did when Ayaka balances it like that.

Did it mean it was right? Of course not, your curiosity could surely be dealt with in a more appropriate manner…

Was she the one to call this out? Act like a metaphorical whistleblower and tell Eiichi and Minako what was going on? She’s unsure; she’s not the L/N’s kids parent… but she is in charge of overseeing part of the successions in the estate… oh, but if she went ahead, she’d probably ignite Eiichi’s overprotectiveness to the point it might overwhelm you, but on the other hand, she would certainly expect to be told of what’s happening behind her back if Sumire were in your shoes…

It was a bit ironic for Ayaka to consider Sumire’s tendency of keeping to herself when something bothered her— her thoughts only becoming apparent through subtle traces in her face— as unprecedented, when she behaved the exact same way.

Children were sponges when it came to learning about their surroundings, yet such a statement would remain oblivious to her, even when a fellow staff member noted her to be distraught while working.

“Is everything alright, Ayaka-san? You seem rather… distracted” the servant asks, pulling her attention to them. “Oh, it’s nothing” She responds, blinking rapidly as if to sweep away whatever it was that had her in a trance and focus on both the person besides her and the task at hand ”I’m just… focused, that’s all”

“I couldn’t possibly imagine that preparing today’s food could be so interesting.” she jokes, and Ayako laughs in agreement.

“Alright, fine” she concedes, laying down the apples she was cutting for the promised pie before glancing at her coworker “I’m thinking, about something my daughter told me”

“Everything alright?” The woman, whose name was Yui, pondered.

“Yeah, it’s fine, don’t worry. Just something… silly, you know? Kids stuff”

“Well, whatever it was, it sure does seem to worry you… are you sure it’s nothing bad?”

“Ah, far from it… I mean, Sumire was a bit upset for a while, but I finally got her to tell me what it was that bothered her. Looks like Y/N-chan placed a bet with the Gojo heir and now she regrets it. And you won’t believe what she wanted”

“What was it?”

“She wanted a kiss!” Ayaka blurted out, still unable to believe the veracity of it all “Now that I think about it… I do remember Tomoko-sama telling me something about Y/N-chan relentlessly following her and Eiichi-sama around trying to make sense about something… to think it would be about first kisses and marriage—worst of all, that she’d actually go against their wishes and do what she did… so young, and she’s already promising to be quite the troublemaker”

“I wouldn’t worry too much—that’s what kids do, eh? She was just curious, that’s all” Yui shrugs.

“And now, that curiosity won’t leave her or my daughter alone! Apparently Gojo-sama wasn’t too fond of his negative reviews, to the point where the girls want to plot their revenge against him”

“Wow, that bad?” Yui snickered. “Well, can’t say I didn’t expect it, he’s always been known to be the sneaky one, compared to Ren-sama and Hinata-sama, although they can be quite sly if they set their minds to it”

“Well, you’re right about that—at least from what I’ve been able to assume” Ayaka sighs. “I was just wondering if I should tell our masters about what happened, I’m sure everything will cool down in time but still… wouldn’t you like to be told if something was going on with your kids?”

“Oh, definitely, but you have to consider how Eiichi-sama would react if he’s informed about this” Yui emphasized, slightly shivering at the visage of one of their always-kind masters becoming heated out of protectiveness.

“Is it even in our duties to let them know?” Ayaka ponders.

“Gah, they’re just children at the end of the day! It doesn’t really matter” The woman responds, playfully patting Ayaka’s back “Weren’t you naughty when younger?”

“Can’t say I wasn’t” she shrugs, and without anything else to say, the conversation rightfully ends: with Ayaka going back to preparing the pie she promised her daughter, and Yui helping her by preheating the oven. 

After this exchange with Yui, the mother of your best friend found herself somewhat agreeing with the woman’s words. It had been something a bit… shocking, sure, but nothing dangerous for either of the kids involved at the end of the day—you got curious about a simple peck on the lips, and Satoru reacted according to his nature, nothing that needs to be taken to the next level, such as involving your parents.

Besides, she still trusted her daughter to continue being the good friend she was with you by reminding you that there are certain things that are better dealt with directly, instead of going around circles attempting to get back at someone.

She’d further cement this teaching through a slice of pie of course, practice what she was preaching, but outside of that, Ayaka effectively concluded that all parties involved were nothing more than young kids.

Thus, the topic is virtually buried in the confines of her memory. A funny, temporarily concerning situation, that Ayaka would probably look back at one day when she didn’t know what to do.

And that would’ve been the case, of course, if she hadn’t told Yui about it.

Oh, but Ayaka could’ve never known, for it wasn’t in her nature to assume malicious intentions from others.

It was never in her plans to start rambling about what her daughter confined her with to others, but stranded in the island of her indecision, she couldn’t help but inquire for advice on what she should do.

It wasn’t her fault that the person she confided this secret to couldn't stop herself from finding this whole situation comical, worthy enough to be shared with everyone else, who in turn, found it equally hilarious to keep on passing the anecdote onto others, and so on and so forth. 

It was an innocent mistake, really, a funny story from the master’s kids!

…

One that stopped being funny the day your father was inevitably made aware of it.

Disaster ensued in one uneventful weekday afternoon, when Eiichi got back home from work.

As soon as he stepped foot in the L/N estate, he zeroed in onto the rooms the staff informed him they could find you and the Gojo heir in.

They didn’t need to look beyond his reddening face to know that he’d finally heard the rumor surrounding you and the white haired boy, to which they could only pray he wouldn’t chew up alive.

It’s a free for all at this point.

“Satoru, Y/N, follow me, now!” Eiichi ordered the moment he barged through the doors. His voice was loud and commanding, an unfamiliar tone from the often sweet and doting father you recognized. A contrasting difference that had both you and Satoru freezing on the spot. “I won’t repeat myself twice, stand up now”

You clench the edges of your sleeves as you quietly follow behind your father, with Satoru trailing just behind you.

It had been the only day you finally allowed him to be in the same room with you, allowing him the opportunity to finally speak his truth and maybe sneak an apology, but it seems that fate wasn’t to be on his side, yet again—and what a way to show him so.

Once the infuriated Eiichi cornered you and Satoru into another room, away from the prying eyes and ears of the surrounding servants, confrontation begins.

“What is this rumor that I’m hearing from the staff, Gojo?”

Satoru blinks, confused. He doesn’t know what your father is referring to, for the servants had done an exceptional job of keeping to themselves when spreading said rumor. 

The Gojo heir reflects on his past actions, attempting to find the possible cause of your father’s anger—it could be anything really, which doesn’t speak very well of his character.

Unable to find a cause, he glances at you; with a look that asks if you perhaps knew what he was talking about. It was only for the briefest of seconds, and solely to seek an explanation, but your father, who was far too gone in his anger, doesn’t let it slide so easily.

“Eyes on me, boy” Eiichi warns and Satoru recoils again.

“I—W-what rumor… L/N-sa—”

“Don’t act ignorant, Satoru! The one where you kissed my daughter? Quite the story that has been going around, I must add” Eiichi accused, and at this revelation, it’s now your time to pale.

“I—I don’t know what you…. You’re talking about L/N-san…” Gojo stammers, his face drained of all color to the point it’s almost hard to distinguish where his skin ends and his hair begins. “I didn’t do…”

“Y/N” Eiichi, not willing to entertain the seemingly foolish act the boy was putting on, refers to you. No nicknames or endearments, just your birth name—reflecting how serious he is about this.

To see your father so… different from the caring, protective and a bit silly man he presented himself to be with his family… It was terrifying. A sight so ghastly, that naturally has your heart jumping to your throat, rendering you speechless to what was perhaps the biggest miscalculation you could’ve considered when placing that bet.

You can’t even begin to ponder how it is that he learned about this as he continues to stare back at you, or if there’s even a way to get out of this situation.

“Y/N” he calls you again, urging you to an answer, which you miraculously perform after gathering all the courage you can find to look up to him and muster a quiet: yes, papa? before looking down to the ground.

“Did you kiss Satoru?”

You know it’s not good to lie, you were taught by your parents to not do so. It’s foul, deceiving, and hurtful. But seeing Satoru’s startled eyes and trembling lips, you find yourself doubting if that theoretical pain can be any worse than his current predicament.

It was never supposed to go this far, to the point of tarnishing your relationship with Satoru and your father.

Even with Satoru’s distressing behavior… you never wished to cause him any genuine harm. 

Guess there really is a first time for everything.

“No” you decide to lie for Satoru’s sake, shaking your head and clutching at your sleeves even tighter than before, to the point where your fingers turn completely white. 

You hoped that by keeping your answers limited he would concede to believe you and subsequently bring this situation to an end, but your father, having gone through similar ordeals with your siblings, finds it hard to accept your response without slight skepticism. 

“You know better than to lie to me, Y/N”

“I’m not!” you cry, now furiously shaking your head—whether to emphasize your words, or to sway the tears forming at the corners of your eyes away, you didn’t know.

“Then why is the staff going around saying that?” Eiichi wondered “It means that someone is lying, and it’s either you, or my staff”

“I don’t know papa….” you quietly sniveled, feeling yourself to be shrinking before him more and more the longer you remained underneath his gaze. His presence is so taxing on your conscience, that prompts unspoken guilt to erupt from inside in the shape of bewailing regrets “I’m sorry!”

And with that, you prove the rumors to be true.

You’d sob loudly enough for Eiichi to finally snap out from the unadulterated rampage he’d enacted on the two kids before him, and focus on the lamenting reality of his weeping daughter and startled boy.

This is one of the things he hated from being a father: having to confront his kids.

He wanted nothing more than for them to be perpetually happy, without a single worry for the world, give them everything they’ll ever need so they never have to suffer—while defending them from those that wanted to hurt them.

But life isn’t as black and white as Eiichi wanted it to be. It was wistful thinking to believe that he could forever protect them from the world. 

And he’d soon learn that being a good father isn’t just about having fun with his kids and giving them what they needed, it was also about letting them live their own experiences, let them stumble and fall, but being there to help them up—teach them how to deal with difficult situations so they can do so themselves when the time is right.

Kindly and calmly, like any good parent was expected to do—how he should’ve acted in this situation.

“No, no, it’s ok, pumpkin” he says, kneeling down to your level and softly cupping your face “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare both of you… I just… well, I was worried—I didn’t know how to answer your questions, or more like I didn’t want to, when I should’ve tried harder to help you understand. And instead of worrying that you could’ve done something to hurt yourself, I got angry at you for disobeying me”

“I’m—I’m sorry papa…. I—I d—didn’t mean t—to…” you continue to wail, gaze blurry and eyes warm as you look back to your father’s comforting soft gaze. “Please.. No angry with me”

“Oh, baby I’m not angry with you” he says, hugging you “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spoken to you, or Satoru like that…”

Eiichi lifts his gaze to Satoru, who, unsure of what to expect from such a radical change from your father, keeps a distant yet tense stance.

Your father, while not agreeing with the way Satoru often acts, knows well to look after his actions when he’s messed up, as well as reminding himself to be patient with him—he’s just a kid, born with a technique and responsibilities he never asked for. Wouldn’t that make him a reflection of his own daughter?

“Think you two can forgive me over ice cream?” He’d ask the pair.

“...chocolate?” you murmur against his chest, and he smiles.

“Consider it done, what about you… Satoru?”

“... Only if you get strawberry” he says, and Eiichi chuckles—that’s his favorite flavor too.

“Done” your father says, standing up and making way to the white haired boy and carefully shuffling his hair “Sorry, kid. Just… keep out of trouble, alright?”

And thus, with ice cream and a slight warning from your father, reminding you to approach him whenever you have questions (so as to avoid this situation from happening again…), the situation ends without further precedent.

Days would pass, and you and Satoru would eventually move past this occurrence, which both labeled as silly, and rekindle the friendship they initially had; all while promising to continue keeping this a secret from your sister and brother, whom by mysterious reasons, never knew about it.

You never figured out why that rumor sparked inside the estate in the first place, and as years passed, you honestly stopped caring. Even if you eventually determined it had been Sumire, it did nothing to affect your friendship with her, if anything, it grew stronger.

And so, it all remained in the past. A nostalgic-yet-cringeworthy memory grouped up with those of your childhood that took little to no weight in your mind, except of course, when gossiping with his friends, Shoko and Geto, when you wanted to kick him down a notch or two whenever he began to act a bit too arrogant for your liking.

Shoko would take your experience as evidence that he was always irritating, even from a young age.

While Geto would take it with a grain of salt, for in his own account, Satoru never struck him as a bad kisser.

A statement that had you and Shoko immediately glancing at each other, wondering just how he could possibly know that.

[kyluxtrashpit]

May I ask why under construction is going to be your final kylux fic?? I'm gonna miss your writing for them if that becomes true 😭

So I talked a little bit about this on twitter, but tbh should’ve here both because half my audience is here and also because tumblr actually has the room for a complete explanation without worrying about character limits lmao

At this point, I don’t intend to stop writing star wars stuff completely if that’s any comfort. I have some renbens I want to do/finish, also a recent bentai idea, plus who knows what inspiration will strike. Even kylux inspo is possible, especially if we get new stuff at some point (like perhaps that comic in august). Nothing is set in stone here. I never thought I’d actually be at a point where this fic feels finishable lmao, yet here I am, so who knows

However, I have been writing kylux for over 7 years now. I posted that moodboard on my anniversary of the first fic I published, though I was reading fic and stuff for a few months before that as well. And it’s just… after this fic is complete, I’m not sure I’ll have anything left to add to kylux, you know? With it, I feel like I’m saying everything that I want to say about them. Writing this, as both rough and rewarding a journey it has been, feels a lot like closure to me. Tbqh I’m expecting a lot of people not to like the subject matter or agree with some things regarding this fic, but for the first time in a while, it really is about me and what I want. It’s a story I have to tell - that’s why it’s driven me mad for 3.5 years lmao. And after it’s done? I’m not sure what will be left to say. Maybe something, in which case more kylux will happen, but also maybe nothing. Essentially, I’m preparing both myself and the people I care about in this fandom (including lovely readers like you) for the latter just in case it is what happens, even though it may not. Maybe when I post it, it’ll get a ton of love and I’ll get flooded with sudden inspo. But maybe not. Everything has to end eventually, sadly, and this just feels to me like an ending, like the closing of a chapter. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s just the feeling I have. I’m going with my gut here rather than a specific plan

Also, as much as I have people in this fandom I truly care about and adore and I have people who care about and like me, whether we’re close friends, mutuals, or just a follower and a person that have never spoken to each other yet the care is there regardless, there’s also some elements to this fandom that are not so great. I know a lot of people who’ve been driven out. I myself was cancelled on twitter for running a particular event and the rest of the fandom hasn’t treated me the same since. The fandom has changed a lot in those 7 years, some of which is for the better, and some of which I think we could’ve done without. Plenty has also stayed the same; both the good and the bad. And I think the fandom as it is today and what I want to get out of it are just unfortunately incompatible. It’s no ones fault, but sometimes a space isn’t giving you what you need it to. I wish it could still give me that, I really really do, but right now it just seems it can’t. And that’s not the entirety of the reason, but it is a factor as to why I’m not as interested in continuing as I once was. I’m just not getting what I need out of the fandom right now. Again, everything is mutable, but it’s felt that way for a bit now

All that being said though, kylux will still very much exist on this blog. I still very much enjoy the ship and I don’t have a new fandom to move to permanently as of yet, so reblogs will continue, as will shitposting and memes and all of it. I recently finished collecting all the tweets I want to preserve here, so there will be an influx of posts, ficlets, memes, all of it, that will be coming sometime in the near future (whenever I have the energy to actually start the process lmao). This is still the kyluxtrashpit, after all lmao

So I’m not leaving the fandom by any stretch, it’s just that I feel like this fic will say all the things I have left to say about kylux. And because the fandom space isn’t giving me what I’m looking for at the moment, I have less interest in seeking out inspiration and rather am letting ideas to come to me, which at present I just don’t have any more beyond this fic. I could be wrong and who knows, maybe there’s another 7 years of kylux ahead of me lmao. But I want everyone who’s supported me at any point during these last 7 years to know ahead of time that it is very possible for this to be my last fic for kylux because I think that’s the least I can do for you all

[kitkatt0430]

🥰😭❓😍

🥰 a fluff WIP snippet

“Ooh, so you and Iris… friends or friends?” Cisco’s voice took on a slightly teasing lilt and Eddie found himself blushing. “Just friends,” Eddie said emphatically. “She’s pretty and amazing and if I swung that way I’d definitely be interested, but…” Cisco’s smile softened a bit. “I’m glad she’s got a real friend to help her through all this, then.” He hesitated and then added, “and if you’re looking for more friends, my own social calendar is looking pretty sparse these days.”

From a Cisco/Eddie fic that I intend to have Eobard slowly melting down from confusion in the background for.

😭 angst or sad WIP snippet

Hartley, tentatively, stepped into the room. Approached Harry’s desk with dread. He didn’t touch anything, just… skirted around the desk until he could see Harry sitting there, making not a single sound. Not the quietest breath, not the dimmest heartbeat. If not for his hearing, Hartley might have convinced himself that his mentor - his friend - was merely sleeping, slumped in his chair. He wasn’t sleeping.

From my E2 Hartley fic, though I don't know if I'll keep this or turn it into a flashback or what. I think I'm gonna shift gears with this one and have it start with Hartley's arrive on E1 with flashbacks filling in his backstory over time.

❓ any WIP snippet you want!

“Something wrong, Tommy?” Oliver asked, voice slurring slightly with sleep. “You were having a nightmare,” Tommy told him. “Thought it would be better if I woke you from a distance. Didn't want you reacting to someone unknown crouching over you as you woke up.” “Good call,” Oliver told him. “Mom tried waking me yesterday morning and… I was disoriented, didn't know where I was...” he looked away. “I could have hurt her.” “But you didn't. I bet she was a little shaken, but glad you're here now and not in a place where reflexes like that are necessary.” Tommy offered Oliver a smile. “What's your opinion on sleeping bags?”

from a Tommy/Oliver S1 rewrite. After finding Oliver having a nightmare and sleeping on the floor again, Tommy's big idea is to ease Oliver back into sleeping on beds. Starting with a sleeping bag.

This scene is set after Oliver and Tommy are 'saved' by the Hood and Tommy stays the night at Queen manor afterwards

😍 published lines or a section of a fic that you loved writing?

Since I've been working on podficcing Invasion! The Pied Piper Corollary, I think I'll share one of my favorite parts from that one :D

"Anyway, eventually Mick handed the phone over to me so she could chew me out for not warning her about the aliens and not returning your calls. Did you seriously have to complain to her about that?" "Yes. It was obnoxious that in the middle of an alien crisis you couldn't be bothered to check your damn phone." "Because you were worried about me?" Cisco sounded amused, but not exactly teasing. Tentatively, Hartley replied, "yes." "I promise the next time I'm off being a superhero, I'll do a better job of returning your calls," Cisco promised.

It's a fun conversation - Hartley taunts Cisco with the fact that he got the day off work and thus slept in, whereas Cisco actually made himself get up and go in to work that morning. But they're both at that mutual pining point in their relationship, not that Hartley's quite yet realized that's whats going on yet since he's been determinedly not letting himself realize his crush this whole time. Cisco is absolutely hoping to turn their lunch and movie watching into a date, though.

[itachi-uchiha-deserved-better]

what’s the best thing about shipping for you?

do you prefer to plot a ship, or would you rather “wing it”?

what’s something that immediately turns you off from shipping with someone?

have you ever been pushed to ship something?

how would your muse react to someone flirting with them?

1. I think my favorite thing about shipping is that every ship is so different and they allow you to really bring out parts of both characters that are hard to see by themselves.

Take Shisui and Itachi. Shisui brings out the vulnerable side of Itachi. More than just soft, its the part of Itachi that doesn't feel the need to bear the weight of the world entirely on his shoulders. Its the part of itachi that is small and lets himself be fragile in a way that I don't feel like comes across in any other pairing versus Itasaku which I think brings out more of Itachi's playfulness and nurturing side.

2. I think it depends a little bit on my writing partner. There are some people that I've written with where shippy stuff seems to come pretty easily/naturally. So those threads I tend to wing it. Other people or especially newer RP partners that I've agreed to ship with, I prefer to talk things out more.

3. Forced shipping is the quickest way to turn me off from a potential ship. I'm not gonna judge someone for whatever personal ships they have, but if you try to force those into an RP with me without consent or worse, after I've already expressed discomfort with the idea of told someone that I'd rather RP non shippy stuff while I get to know their writing style and decide if we mesh, not only will it turn me off from the ship but I'm also not going to want to RP with them much at all in general. and unsolicited NSFW stuff will get an automatic block.

4. Ive had one or two experiences on here of people who were a little pushy about shipping our muses. I don't intend to name names or start drama. but it has happened. This site hasnt been so bad as some forums I've been on, though.

5. Depends on who is doing the flirting and if the mun has recently posted anything to invite it. For example, flirting from a muse I currently have established ships with or from anons after I've reblogged a starter inviting the flirting would be met with fun banter, where as unsolicited flirting will be met with either polite disinterest or potentially outright irritation depending on how strong it comes on.

[heartmaddie]

charm | t.oikawa - 05 thank you

by m454d1e warnings somewhat suggestive ??? , also i wrote this while listening to jeff buckley idk if u can tell

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please make sure to like , reblog or follow if you enjoyed!

౨ৎ um 'choose my outfit' is code word for maybe we should chat

౨ৎ yn has been talking to omi the most out of everyone in the past week ig

౨ৎ i feel like tobio is starting to get a better idea that oikawa likes his sister more than friendship wise

౨ৎ i feel like i'm progressing with oikawa and yn's friendship a bit too much but whatever,

౨ৎ i kind of hate only doing smau chapters cos its so much effort to think about it but it's kind of worth it i guess

౨ৎ also i have a miya twins x reader (NOT POLY) cooking up but i'll only realease that after charm

౨ৎ cos it's only gonna be writing not smau

౨ৎ smaus are harder than i intended them to be

౨ৎ idk if u noticed but i did write some oneshots u guys should check that out eventually

౨ৎ also my asks r open so please come in for a chat if you'd like !

౨ৎ also!!!!!! there will likely be no updates until thursday - i have some important assessments to do :(

౨ৎ there will be some one shots being posted which are all queued

౨ৎ sorry for the shorter chapter which is so obviously filler

taglist : @meosq , @jtaimeurmom , @strawbeariesei if you'd like to join - don't be afraid to ask !