#no matter when how or why they come back i didnt only cut them off i cauterized the wound before even letting them know i was done w them

[jvzebel-x]

How do you leave people behind?

this will sound so corny, but i find when i'm at a place where i'm considering cutting someone out of my life, i do a "pros/cons" list specifically about what they offer ME. good memories, bad memories, anything in between-- what does this person (who has somehow managed to make me feel so badly that i might want them out of my life permanently) actually bring to my life? what HAVE they brought to my life thus far, good bad or middle? when you go through your memories in a linear fashion, you'll get answers quickly, even answers to questions you might not fully understand (when did this feeling start? why did this feeling start? ect.ect.). &by the end, it will be very obvious what your answer is; i don't think i've ever gone through this process&not come out on the other end with, not just answers, but the closest thing to closure i actually believe in.

[savannahsdeath]

hi savannah! i love ur writing a lot!! 😭

can u write something about reader getting high with ellie and.. you know how some people get high and horny? yeah. you can add more if you want, i’m not really good at writing ideas sorry!

- 🐻

DEALER!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

summary: you leave your little party with friends in order to visit your favourite dealer..

warnings: 18+!! weed n just smut

writers note: i have another bbf!dealer!ellie idea (the one i made a poll abt) but i still didnt write it and omg idk💔i swear itll be posted soon

you already smoked, quite a lot, but you and your friends agreed that's not enough. and since ellie, the best dealer in your college, likes you the most, you proposed you'll go for more.

and so you were walking through one of the biggest buildings in the campus, as close to the wall as possible, so if anything, you won't fall in the middle of the hallway, after the curfew.

you knocked on the door to her room, messier than anyone elses. you heard her swear under her breath, but she smiled as soon as she saw it's you. she softly, but firmly, dragged you inside, before anyone could notice your strange behaviour.

"look, i won't sell you anything." she immediately annouced, sounding almost disappointed.

you frowned, looking around and swinging your arms. "why not?"

"you had some already." she pointed at you, your red eyes and widened pupils. "plus, i don't trust your friends. i won't take any risks."

you smirked and playfully nudged her. "come on, i bet i'm the most responsible client you've ever had."

"maybe the prettiest one, but you're far from responsible." she shook her head with a shrug. "none of you knows when to stop."

you looked down, biting the inside of your cheek in thought, before catching her gaze again. "but you know. maybe you could-"

"no way." she cut you off with a chuckle.

you sighed and, without asking, sat on her couch, tapping your nails on your thighs, trying to come up with something.

she was visibly surprised by you - not only your visit, but the fact you still didn't leave. she said no, what else was there to talk about?

"look, you gotta give me a small amount, i'll take anything, i don't care." you replied, desperate.

you knew there's no convincing her, and you already felt the itch of a need you could barely suppress. she stared right through you, amused. your eyes already dilated. your hands shaking. the smell of her stash maddening.

you looked back at her and you knew that she was about to let you have it. but not because you asked. she was going to enjoy this.

"what if.. i'll give you one more." she smiled, rummaging through her drawers. "but you'll share it with me, not with them."

you pouted, raising your hands in confusion. "what do you mean?"

she held out a joint for you, but she moved it away as soon as you reached for it. "i mean, someone has to keep an eye on you. and i know how to, you said it yourself."

"but-"

you sighed and agreed. why not? no matter how she puts it, you knew you're going to enjoy her company, and she does have that good stuff.

"whatever you say, ellie." you replied, still pouty that you had to now share your hit. but you knew she's right, plus, you'd have to share it with all your friends otherwise.

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

your head was spinning and you were breathing harder. she laughed again as you coughed a little. her hand rested on your thigh, the couch you were sitting on surrounded by dirty clothes.

"feels good." you whispered.

you had weed in mind, but you realised it sounded like you were talking about her touch too late, after these words already escaped your mouth.

she looked at you with a smirk. "feeling good, huh?" her hand ran up your thigh a little more.

your mind was blown and you were way too high to figure out what to do. if that was her plan all along, it was working out perfectly.

you wanted more.

your head was clouded. you were giggling, giggling at yourself, giggling at the world. everything felt so funny and wonderful at once.

you wanted more.

you looked up at ellie and your eyes grow wide as you stared at her. she stared back at you for a few moments. you've never seen her like this.

no, that's not true. you've never felt her like this.

ellie smiled and moved a little closer to you. you could feel her presence and that's all there was.

you took another hit from the joint. and ellie was there to hold it as you did so.

you could feel her lips brush gently against your ear. you weren't sure what she was whispering. you just focused on how her hot breath tingled your neck.

she smiled. she knew exactly what's going to happen next, and she liked the fact that you could barely form any coherent thoughts, even though she wasn't much better, not at this point.

she took the joint from your lips as she looked up at you and smiled, not saying anything. she didn't need to.

she held the joint up and took a long, slow drag as you watched. sometning about it, about how the smoke drifted away when she exhaled, was just so attractive, you instinctively licked your lips. you focused on her soft breaths, making yours synchronize with hers, what helped you stay conscious.

she moved closer and you closed your eyes. you could feel her hair against your face, smell the scent of her hair.

as you opened your eyes, you realised that the world was spinning, and you and ellie were now on her bed. she had her mouth pressed up to yours.

you didn't know how long it's been going on for. maybe you just didn't care. but it felt good.

you gasped, right into her lips, as you noticed one of her hands is beneath your cotton panties. you didn't remember how it happened, but you were glad it got there. it moved synchronously to the rest of her body, but you figured out it was there just to test the waters as she started going down on you with her mouth without actually working with her fingers.

"you're even prettier when stoned." you giggled, not sure if you formed the sentence correctly, but basing on ellie's smile in response - it was understandable.

her tongue laid flat on the wet spot on your cotton underwear, making you realise your pants are on the floor. god, when did all of this happen? you didn't know there's a 'skip' button in real life, but at least you managed to come to your sense in the best moment possible.

"awh- do i really make you feel this way?" she chuckled against your clothed pussy. "i start to doubt you came here just because 'your friends picked you'.."

you hummed, twirling a strand of your hair around your finger. "you called me your prettiest client."

"and i don't take that back." she traced the hem of your panties, before sliding her fingers slightly down and caressing the outlines of your slit, barely visible through the soaked fabric. "mmh.. why does it matter now?"

"i'm just telling you- god." your hips uncontrollably raised, pressing against her hand. "just telling you, you shouldn't be surprised by this," you pointed at the surroundings of your lower stomach with your chin, "if you say things like that."

she finally, slowly took your underwear off, humming a little; "mhm". you weren't sure if it was supposed to be an answer for you, or an act of satisfaction at the view, but either one was fine.

she kissed your clit, pressing her tongue followed by her lips against it. the little touch had you moan, feeling a weird feeling of electricity starting from your core travel around your whole body. you didn't know if it was really that magic, or did the weed made you feel so much details.

she repeated this move a few times, each earning a moan or two from you. the knot you had in your head while trying to think of a way to make her sell you some more of her stuff was now in your stomach, loosening with every lick of her, now flattened, tongue. you tugged on the little bun she always had, pulling her closer to you with every small energy boost you got from time to time. you heard the sounds of your juices flow out, right to her mouth.

you squirmed under the bruising grip she had on your thighs, sometimes moving it to your lower stomach to gently press on it. when she did, you could see a spot in the shape of her hand, way lighter than the rest of your body, on the place she just left.

her eyes would sometimes look up at you, looking extremely innocent, what seemed weird compared to how her tongue fucked in and out of you.

ding!

you thought you heard sometning, but you quickly forgot about it, focusing back on ellie.

ding!

now, you were sure you heard something, but still didn't know what.

ding!

you saw your phone, laying on the floor near your pants, light up. your friends were spamming you, but your vision was all blurry and you didn't see anything. before the screen turned off again, you managed to notice one notification;

luccyy💞: idk about you, but for me, buying weed takes less than one hour

[mimikittysblog]

TXT when Someone Badmouths You

Pairing: OT5! TXT x Fem! Reader

Genre: Slight angst, fluff. Hurt to comfort.

Synopsis: How the boys would react when they hear and see someone badmouthing you, their lovely girlfriend.

Warnings: Some jerks bullying you for different reasons. Implied chubby reader for Yeonjun and Soobin, and somewhat body shaming for theirs too. I think that’s it? Please let me know if I missed anything.

A/N: Guess who made this instead of their thesis??? Meeeeeee! Anyways hope you guys enjoyed this, especially cause I made it on the fly. Also got a bit carried away with beomgyus lol

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

Yeonjun

Yeonjun decided to go out to take you shopping being the fashonistas you two are. While you’ve always loved clothes and fashion, it was always a bit of a struggle to find your size here in Korea, no actually it was a pretty big struggle, but Yeonjun never minded.

He just wanted to spend time with you and spoil you with whatever you wanted. If the store didnt have your size he’d just look for it online or actually have it custom made. Just for you. Whatever you wanted, its yours in less than a week. You were always grateful for that.

However it still bothered you a bit. It was also always quite embarrassing when you have to walk out of the dressing room to tell him the biggest size didnt fit you. It also doesn’t help when the store clerks are not so subtly or quietly poking fun at you.

“I don’t know why she even tries”

“I know right? Why is he even with her?? Like he clearly takes care of himself. Why can’t she do the same?”

“He deserves so much better.”

Yeonjun obviously heard it too, he isn’t deaf, nor blind cause he sees the looks they give you. He especially sees the small frown that you’re trying so desperately to hide.

“Hmm MY pretty baby” he says as he holds your cheek. “This store is not inclusive huh? How about we just leave and find a better store that values you more, hmm?”

“No yeonjun it’s ju-“

“Hush.” He cuts you off. “This store is clearly not a good one. Cause every good store should always carry beautiful people’s sizes which includes you and they must have RESPECTFUL. Staff too. Don’t you think so pretty baby?” He says as he leans into you.

“I-I guess..?” You say shyly, trying to ignore the harsh glares you’re getting.

“Well thats what I think baby. Come on! Lets find a better store and never come back here, okay beautiful?” He asks as he pats your head.

“Okay” you smile at him.

Before you two leave though, he pulls you in even closer and gives you such a passionate kiss, completely reassuring that he finds you so gorgeous and he doesn’t care what people say about you.

And without your knowledge he also opens his eyes to make eye contact and practically glare at the rude staff that was standing behind you. Seeing their reaction also causes him to smirk into the kiss.

He then pulls away and happily takes you away from that store. Constantly holding you close, to reassure you that he loves your body just the way it is, and he could never be ashamed of you, especially with how firmly and proudly he’s holding on to you.

“Thank you baby” you say as you snuggle into him.

“No one messes with my pretty baby. Remember that.” He said with his charming smirk.

Soobin

You literally only told him you think the weather feels perfect today, and he suddenly already had a picnic basket packed. So here you are now, at the park having a nice picnic with your lovely boyfriend. While he did pack some food from home, you two also went to your local bakery to pick up some of the most delicious bread and pastries ever. You kind of went overboard with how much you bought but you two wanted to have fun and enjoy your day with great food, if you still had some left you can easily bring them home. So it didn’t matter to the both of you.

That is until another couple who were also having a picnic nearby decided to stare at you and the large amount of food you two had. They were far enough to where you could barely hear what theyre saying, but unfortunately you could still hear. Even if you couldn’t the judgmental looks they gave you, and only you, said it all.

“Can you believe how much she’s eating?”

“Mhm. It’s just all pure carbs and sugar too.”

“Could she be anymore unhealthy? She’s eating so fast too.”

You were trying so hard to ignore it and were just about to take another bite of the croissant you got until you heard they made another comment and even laughed at you. You really did try so hard to ignore it and tried to take that bite but it just felt so humiliating. So you bit your lip and slowly put the croissant down. Soobin on the other hand quickly took the croissant again and put it back up to your mouth.

“Aaah!” He said smiling

“Oh.. Soobin I’m ful-“

“Don’t make me shove this in your mouth princess” he cut you off with another cheeky smile.

“Soobin..”

God the look in your eyes was so heartbreaking to him.

“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen okay? We also came here to have fun and eat well. I want you to eat well beautiful, and I also want you to have the happiest tummy ever. Please don’t let anyone stop you. Besides, good food makes you happy. And I also want you happy. So please.. Aaaah?” He said, staring straight into your eyes with the purest look ever.

How could you ever deny that? So with a smile you took the bite you did so desperately wanted. With that it made his smile even bigger. He then also took a bite. Since then he continues to feed you, showering you with encouragement and also continues to eat with you too to make you not feel alone. You could never feel alone with him, but he wanted to make sure you knew that.

“Thank you my love.”

“Of course darling”

By the end you were so incredibly happy and so was your tummy.

Beomgyu

It’s been a while since you had a date with your boyfriend due to your busy schedules. So when said schedules finally calmed down, you two were very excited to get to finally meet up at your favorite cafe and catch up. Unfortunately you were running a bit late so Beomgyu was already sitting and sipping at his coffee when you arrived. You quickly ordered before sitting down across from him.

“Beomieee! Oh I’m sorry!” You apologized

“It’s okay sweetheart, you’re here now and thats all that matters.” He said with his usual cheeky smile on his face.

The cafe was quite packed, so it was pretty noisy but you two were able to drown everything out with your conversations. You both missed each other very much. Due to the busy cafe it also took a while for your order to get done. By the time it was you and beomgyu decided to continue your date at a nearby park and have a nice walk. He had to use the bathroom first though, and you had to get your drink. So thats what you two did.

Unfortunately for you though, just after you got your drink, you accidentally slipped and caused your coffee to spill a little bit onto the shoes of a nearby customer.

“Oh my goodness I’m so sorry!! I didn’t mean to-“

“Are you fucking kidding me?!?! You bitch!!! These are brand new and now theyre ruined!”

“I didn’t mean to! I’ll pay to have them cle-“

“God you’re so fucking stupid! Didn’t you hear me they’re ruined! How can someone be so clumsy?! There wasn’t even anything there!! Fucki-“

“Oh sweetheart whats going on- WOOOOOAAHHHHH!!!” Beomgyu suddenly showed up out of nowhere and then (purposely and quite dramatically) fell and also spilled his coffee on this customer, though this time it spilled on the rest of their outfit too.

“WHAT THE FUCK!” They yelled and you could only cover your mouth in shock.

“Dang these floors are so slippery! don’t you think?? Everyone be careful okay!!” He chuckled as he still stayed there on the floor.

“Beomgyu are you okay??” You asked as you helped him up.

“Are you?” He asked concerned as he held onto you softly.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!? You just ruined my outfit!!!” This customer bellowed before you even had the chance to answer him.

“And you yelled at my lovely girlfriend for a simple accident. Listen, you have every right to be upset. it’s understandable. Hell she would’ve been upset if you did the same to her. However you had NO. Right to yell at her and talk to her the way you just did. She said she was sorry yet you still found it necessary to berate her in front of everyone. So yeah. I find it necessary to have the rest of your tacky outfit ruined. Even though what I did was an accident too.” He said with a smirk, clearly showing everyone who was still watching, that it was in fact NOT an accident.

“But yknow what? Here.” He explained before opening his wallet and throwing a good couple of bills at them. “Take this to go get those cleaned, or yknow, get better clothes that not only look better but wouldn’t be ruined by simple coffee. Come on my sweet.” He continued as he lead you to the door of the cafe.

And with that the both of you left.

“You okay darling?”

“Yea.. but you shouldn’t have done that beomie” you pouted at him. “I mean thank you! But ruining their outfit was-“

“Sorry to say sweetheart but I couldn’t care less about their outfit. Whoever is mean to my girl especially over something so trivial deserved that kind of treatment okay? I’ll always stick up for you my sweet. Never forget that. Plus, it waaaaas an accident” he said with his cheeky smile again. While you still felt a little bad, you could only chuckle and roll your eyes at this silly boy you call your lovely boyfriend.

“Thank you once again my prince” You said after giving him a sweet kiss on the cheek.

“For whaaat? It was an accident!”

“Oh stop it!!” You laugh

“You’re welcome my sweet”

Taehyun

You were never the biggest fan of the gym, however you always note that it’s not that bad. It gets you healthier when you need to feel like it, gets you to get out of the house a bit more and best of all, you get to spend time with your gym rat of a boyfriend. Who you love to look at when he’s all sweaty.

You don’t come as often as he does, you only join him like about twice a week sometimes just once. Sometimes it’s even once a month but you still go occasionally. Just to fill in some gaps in your schedule. Furthermore because you’re not the biggest fan of the gym, you do usually only very light workout, again just to get your heart pumping and muscles moving, and usually people don’t have an issue with that. You’re healthy and thats all that matters.

Yet for some reason some people decided to be very judgy today. Typically you always have your music playing to focus on yourself, but while you were taking a break and making light convo with your boyfriend, your ears couldn’t help but pick up the chatter of nearby gym goers that can’t mind their own business.

“She barely did anything here and she’s talking about leaving already?”

“And she wanted to get fried chicken too like dang that bare minimum of work out is really gonna go to waste huh?”

“Why is she even here?”

Taehyun who was putting on his hand wraps to have his boxing training session also couldn’t help but hear and lets say he wasn’t pleased. You took notice of that and simply patted his shoulders.

“It’s fine baby” You smiled at him.

“They shouldn’t be saying that.” He grumbled

“Hey its whatever..” You said trying to reassure him, but also yourself. ‘Cause to be honest, you couldn’t help but start to feel maybe you should workout a bit harder.

“No. Here baby put these on.” He said as he suddenly gave you some hand wraps too.

“Tyunnie, it-“

“No come one, lets have some fun” he cut you off with a smirk.

And how could you say no to that?

While you and Taehyun didn’t share your love of workouts or gym equipments, what you did share was your love for martial arts, specifically boxing. While Taehyun mainly did it for its physical benefits, yours was its mental benefits. It was kinda fun throwing punches and showing your strength that way, a good way to get all your anger and frustrations out too.

Plus when you first started doing it you realized you kinda had a knack for it too. So with Taehyun’s encouragement, and some slight anger towards those comments, you put on your gloves and started sparing with him. And let’s just say your punches and kicks were LOUD. People from across the room could hear and kinda feel it.

But mainly you and Taehyun just had fun, he constantly reassured you that you were doing a good job, you still had it, and he’s happy you’re here with him. Once you two were done, even though you were exhausted you two became a giggly mess. You quickly packed up and left to go home and still order some nice delicious fried chicken.

“Thank you baby” You said as you fed him some chicken.

“No worries my strong princess” He chuckled.

Hueningkai

You and your boyfriend, hueningkai, had many common interests, from movies to food, one of the cuter interests you two shared are plushies. You both just LOVE plushies. How fluffy they can be, how soft and squishy they are, their cuteness. Like whats not to love really? The amount of plushies you share is quite concerning but hey! They make you both happy!

Today you decided to go out to see a new movie that came out, but you still had some time before the movie started so you decided to look around the mall first. You had no destination in mind, just wanted to walk and talk with your boyfriend before, hopefully, enjoying this new movie.

However as you continued your stroll you came across a new store that had just opened and was filled to the brim with the cutest teddy bears you’ve ever seen, and they came in every size you can think of. From teeeeny tiny to massive teddy bears that fills the corner of the room. So without much thought and a huge gasp you dragged hueningkai inside to check it out.

Quite the understatement to say you were having a blast checking out all the adorable teddy bears they had. They even had clothes for these bears. However excited you were, you didn’t actually have the intention to buy any, but Hueningkai being the angel he is offered to get you one.

“Are you sure?”

“Oh come on its like you don’t know me. Come on I’ll get one for myself. Our teddy bears can be dating too!” He said with his angelic smile.

Now thats an offer you couldn’t refuse!

So you two picked out your teddy bears and dressed them in matching outfits. You then left making your way to the movie theater, as the movie would be starting soon, but you couldn’t stop giggling and hugging your bear. It was just so cute and fluffy. You still had your bear in your arms as you waited in line to get your snacks, when suddenly the people behind you started whispering.

“What a fricken weirdo.”

“I know right? What is she? 5??”

“Exactly! Like who the hell would willingly carry that around?”

“Why would you still even want one at her age?”

Then it was followed by snickers. It made you gulp and as much as you hate to admit it, embarrassed. You were never ashamed of your love for plushies but hearing that just isn’t nice. You started to slowly try to put your plushie back into the bag the store gave you, when Hueningkai gave your hand a firm squeeze.

“Oh look honey, it’s our turn. So what do you two want?

“I.. huh? Us two?” You looked at him confused.

“Yeah! You and this cutiepie! And what should I get him too?” Hueningkai explained as he pinched your cheek, the teddys nose and then pulled out his own too.

“O-oh!” You giggled before answering what you wanted, and just some gummies for the plushies.

“What a great idea!” He added before ordering, then carrying the snacks for you, and sweetly asking you to carry his teddy for him.

As you two made your way to your designated theater you did catch the judging eyes of the people behind you.

“You didn’t have to do that you know hyuka” You pouted.

“Do what?” He asked with a tilt of his head.

“You know.. now those people think you’re a weirdo too”

“Why should we care? I don’t feel like a weirdo for liking cute soft things, and neither should you honey. These things make us happy! I don’t think we’re weird for that, and hey if it is, lets be weirdos together hmm?” He said, again with that angelic smile and a cute raised eyebrow. And you know, he’s right.

“You’re right, these cuties do make us happy.”

“Mmmmhm! So lets go! The movie is about to start!”

“Okay! Oh! And thank you hyuka”

“Anything for my cutie”

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

© mimikittysblog 2024

[screaminglygay]

Burning match

pairings: kate bishop x fem!reader

summary: shutting off your feeling is not the best idea, but talking about them hurts too much.

warnings: swearing, character gets badly hurt, mentions of injuries, men, reader being stubborn, some angst with happy ending:)

word count: 5.5k

an: this one is little longer, but i didnt feel like cutting it in halfway, hehe, hope you´ll like it!:)

part one | part two

!MDNI!

"Come on, try again." Natasha says as she hold the lap for you to hit it.

The past few weeks, you´ve been trying to keep yourself busy. Small missions. Paper work. Training with Natasha. Spending time with MJ and Peter in Queens. Everything to keep Kate away. Everyone realized that something is wrong, that´s the main reason, why Fury didn´t give you a long or a hard missions. He couldn´t risk you being reckless, but he also didn´t want to keep you out of the game.

"I´m trying!" You yell as you hit the boxing paw, but you didn´t cover your face, so Natasha hits you back.

"Your mind is somewhere else. I need you to be here with me." The redhead put her hand back up, for you to try again. "If we would be on the field, you´d be dead by now." She states, hoping it will motivate you, but it did the exact opossite.

"That would be great, actually." You try to hit her paw, but she put her hands down.

"(Y/N)…" Natasha looks at you and takes off the paws.

"What are you doing?" You are supposed to train for another fifty minutes.

"We´re having a break. Sit down." You sit down, taking off your gloves. "Are you gonna talk to me, or just pretend like everything is great?" Natasha sits down as well.

You shrug. "It's complicated, Nat. I don't even know where to start."

"Start at the beginning. I'm here to listen." She looks at you.

"It's about feelings. Complicated feelings," you admit, fidgeting with the edge of your gloves.

"Remember when I used to have a crush on Wanda? Well, it turns out those feelings are just exchanged with a different feelings.. with different someone…"

Natasha nods, her expression encouraging you to continue.

"It´s Kate," you continue, the weight of the unspoken emotions settling between you. "I never expected to feel this way again, but it's there. And I can't face her. I can't face anyone, really."

Natasha's eyes reflect empathy as she absorbs your words. "Feelings are messy, (Y/N), but running from them won't make them disappear. You've got to confront them, understand them, and then decide what to do next."

You look down at your hands, the moment feeling like a barrier between you and the vulnerability of your emotions. "I already decided, I don´t want to confront them at all. It´s just… overwhelming."

Natasha reaches over, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "You don't have to figure it all out at once. Take it one step at a time. Talk to Kate. See where it goes. And remember, I'm here for you, no matter what. And like with Wanda it either will go away or you will figure it out."

You sigh. "It was different with Wanda. In many ways. I don´t think it will be the same. They are both totally different people." You say as you think about that time of your life.

"What was different? Having a bro code with Pietro?" Natasha asks, without missing a beat and that makes you smile and roll your eyes.

The door swings open, your gaze lifts, only to meet the eyes of the archer you've been succesfully avoiding. Instantly, your posture tenses, a reflexive response to the presence.

Kate walks in, but stops as she notices you´re with Natasha, "can I have a minute with (Y/N)?"

Natasha looks at you and you just nod. Which makes Natasha stand up and leave the room.

"So…" Kate starst, but she is actually not really sure how to start at all.

"So…" You look at her and she sits down next to you."You had a sparing session with Natasha?" Kate asks, looking at the gloves on the ground.

"Um- yeah, yeah, I had." You nod as well as Kate.

The room holds an unspoken tension. Kate breaks the silence with a question that cuts through the charged atmosphere.

"Am I too annoying?" Kate's gaze is probing, searching for confirmation in your eyes.

Your response is quick, "What? No! Of course not!"

Kate interrupts, her tone cutting, "You've been off. So what's your problem?"

"I don´t have a problem." You shrug.

"You don´t? Well even Mike thinks you´re kinda off…" Kate states.

A scoff escapes your lips involuntarily, and you mutter mockingly, "oh Mike thinks that.."

The archer looks at you and raise her eyebrow, "what´s that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it, nothing." You look away, already feeling like you gonna explode.

"Say it." You can feel that the atmosphere didn´t clear out at all.

"No, it´s nothing important." You look back at her.

"(Y/N), say it!" Kate is on the verge of exploding too, you can feel it and even see it.

"Okay, fine! Your boyfriend, he´s a dick." Okay, that slipped out. Shit, that shouldn´t have slipped out.

Oh god.

You succesfully shocked the archer, she is completly stunned. "What's your problem with Mike?" Kate's voice rises, defensive and confrontational.

"It's this something about him." you take a deep breath, the tension escalating. "You deserve better." There it is, you finally said it. Maybe a little differently then you wanted, but you did.

The declaration becomes a spark igniting an unexpected blaze. Kate's eyes narrow, a mixture of frustration and anger surfacing. "You don't know him like I do. You don't get to judge my choices. Who do you think you are to say these things?!"

The argument escalates, a collision of conflicting emotions, and before you know it, the room becomes a battleground once again. Before you could find your words, trying to save it, she speaks once again.

"I don't need this. I thought we could talk, but clearly, I was wrong."

And with that, Kate storms out, leaving you alone in the sparring room, the echoes of the confrontation lingering in the air like a haunting melody.

Fuck.

...

After the heated confrontation with Kate, the sparring room feels like a vacuum, the lingering echoes of the argument still resonating in the air. Hours pass, marked by the ticking clock and the persistent sound of rain against the windows. Eventually, you decide to venture back to the living room, a sense of emptiness accompanying each step.

As you enter the living room, you open the fridge in hopes that you will find a fresh icy cold water bottle. Finally you have a little luck in your life and there it is. As you take few sips from it you speak out. "Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y., have you seen Kate around?" you inquire, your voice betraying a hint of sadness.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. responds with a measured tone, "Miss Bishop is currently on a mission with Mr. Rogers and Miss Belova. They left a forty minutes ago."

A pang of regret tightens your chest. The opportunity to apologize and mend things with Kate slips through your fingers, replaced by a sense of longing and missed chances.

"Alright, thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y.," you mutter, retreating to a corner of the living room. The rain outside matches the melancholy mood within, creating a backdrop for the emotional storm you find yourself caught in.

...

You find solace in the embrace of your bed, its comfort offering a temporary refuge from the emotional turmoil that swirls within. The room, dimly lit by the glow of the bedside lamp, becomes a sanctuary where you can confront the tangled web of feelings.

Wrapped in the warmth of blankets, you replay the events in your mind, analyzing each word and gesture. Regret sticks with you, and the longing to bridge the gap between you and Kate grows with each passing moment. The desire to apologize, to untangle the knots of misunderstanding, becomes a persistent ache that refuses to dissipate.

But was it a misunderstanding? Or just something you held in yourself for a really long time?

As the rain continues its rhythmic dance against the window, time seems to stretch, each moment weighed down by the emotional heaviness. The glow of the bedside clock ticks away, a constant reminder of the day slipping through your fingers.

Messages from MJ and Peter light up your phone, concerned inquiries that you choose to ignore for now. You will answer them later. Maybe.

The dim glow of the bedside clock casts a faint light in the room as your phone incessantly lights up with notifications. Ignoring it initially, you think it´s MJ or Peter again. However, the persistent buzzing becomes too insistent to ignore, pulling you back to the harsh reality beyond the cocoon of your thoughts.

A new notification pops up, catching your attention. It's from Yelena, and the message sends a shiver down your spine. "Kate got into an accident. We're at the hospital."

The words hang in the air, a chilling realization that transcends the emotional turmoil you've been grappling with. The cocoon of solitude suddenly feels fragile, the threads unraveling in the face of an unforeseen crisis.

Before you can fully process the gravity of the situation, your phone vibrates with an incoming call from Natasha. With a sense of foreboding, you answer, your voice catching in your throat.

"(Y/N), it's about Kate. There's been an accident," Natasha's voice is steady but laced with an underlying tension. "They're at the St.Nicholas. Steve said it's serious. You need to come, but please drive carefuly." Natasha´s voice cracks and that makes your stomach drops even lower.

Without a second thought, you spring into action, a surge of adrenaline propelling you out of the room and into the stormy night. The rain outside mirrors the tempest within as you navigate the path to the hospital, the glow of your phone lighting the way with messages that now hold a newfound urgency.

The rain-drenched streets blur as you rush towards the hospital, heart pounding in your chest. The vivid lights of the emergency room entrance greet you as you finally arrive, breathless and soaked. Your gaze scans the room, finding Natasha, Steve, and Yelena huddled together, their faces etched with worry.

Ignoring the pull of exhaustion, you hurry towards them, relief and anxiety warring within you. Natasha, noticing your arrival, steps forward, her eyes reflecting a mix of concern and understanding.

"(Y/N), she's stable now," Natasha says softly, her hand resting reassuringly on yours as she stops you from coming into the room. "But they won't let us visit her just yet."

A mix of emotions floods over you – relief that Kate is stable, yet a lingering unease at the unknown extent of her injuries. The hospital's sterile ambiance amplifies the tension in the air as Steve steps forward, his usually stoic expression betraying a deep concern.

"There was a room filled with explosive material, and it detonated while she was near it," Steve explains, the weight of the situation evident in his voice. "She's lucky to be alive."

As Steve explains, you feel a knot tighten in your stomach. The image of Kate, caught in the blast, flashes in your mind. The once trivial disagreements now seem insignificant, overshadowed by the reality of Kate's perilous situation.

Yelena remains silent, her eyes revealing the worry she can't put into words. The waiting room becomes a space suspended in time, a limbo between the fear of the unknown and the hope for Kate's recovery.

For now, the only option is to wait – to wait for news, for permission to visit Kate, and, above all, for a sign that she will pull through.

...

Time seems to stretch as the group anxiously awaits news about Kate. The sterile waiting room is filled with hushed conversations and the rhythmic beeping of medical equipment. The air is thick with anticipation until finally, a doctor emerges, breaking the tense silence.

"Miss Bishop is stable. She's going to be okay," the doctor announces, a collective sigh of relief escaping from those gathered. "However, she needs time to recover. The explosion caused many injuries, and she's currently sleeping."

Steve, Yelena, and Natasha exchange grateful glances, and a sense of gratitude washes over them. The doctor continues, "You can visit her. We'll keep you updated on her progress."

As the trio heads toward Kate's room, you hesitate. The relief is palpable, but an overwhelming desire to be close to Kate prevails. Determined, you follow them into the room.

Kate lies peacefully on the hospital bed, surrounded by the sterile white walls. Machines softly hum, monitoring her vital signs. You can hear Yelena talk in russian, which you don´t understand at all.

Natasha places a gentle hand on Yelena´s shoulder, exchanging a few quiet words with her and Steve before leading them out, leaving you alone with your friend.

The room is dimly lit, the soft glow of monitors casting a gentle light on Kate's sleeping form. The exhaustion from the events of the day catches up with you, but an unwavering need to be there for Kate keeps you by her side.

You pull a chair close to the bed, taking Kate's hand in yours. The rhythmic beeping of the machines becomes a soothing backdrop as you sit there, unmoving, lost in the quiet vigil.

"I´m really sorry, Katie." You whisper, so much regret in those words. Hours pass, marked by the steady rise and fall of Kate's chest. Your mind is a tempest of emotions – relief, worry, gratitude. The ordeal has left you physically and emotionally drained. The chair feels uncomfortable, but you can't bring yourself to leave Kate's side.

As the night wears on, fatigue sets in. The hospital room becomes your bedroom now, interrupted only by the soft sounds of medical equipment. Unable to resist the heaviness of your eyelids, you lean against the chair and finally fall asleep too.

...

Morning light filters through the hospital room's window, casting a soft glow on the still figure of Kate. The rhythmic sounds of medical equipment persist, a constant reminder of the fragile balance between recovery and the unknown. You wake up, the stiffness in your muscles a testament to the night spent in the uncomfortable chair.

The door creaks open, and Natasha enters, holding a small tray with a cup of water and a plate of food. Her eyes, though tired, hold a reassuring warmth.

"Hey," Natasha says softly, offering a small smile. "I thought you might need this."

Tears well up in your eyes as you take in the caring gesture. "Thanks, Nat."

Natasha places the tray on the table and pulls a chair closer. "How are you holding up?"

You shrug and glance at Kate, her peaceful slumber giving you a momentary respite. "The last time we talked, we had a fight," you confess, your voice choked with emotion.

Natasha leans forward, a comforting presence. "(Y/N), these things happen, especially in our line of work. What's important now is that she's going to be okay."

"I was too blind to let her be happy," you admit, the weight of regret settling in. "I should have never said anything."

Natasha reaches out, squeezing your hand gently. "You care about her, and that's what matters. The rest can be worked out later." She encourages you to eat and drink, a gentle reminder of the need to take care of yourself. The food feels tasteless, but with Natasha's support, each bite becomes a small triumph.

"Kate is strong, and she's going to pull through. You being here for her matters more than you realize," Natasha reassures, offering a comforting presence in the quiet hospital room.

Her words are stuck in your head. You are here. You are. Where is Mike?

"He's still not here, hasn't even bothered to check in," you mutter to Natasha, a sense of frustration coloring your tone.

Natasha furrows her brow, sensing the underlying tension. "Mike? Maybe he's just dealing with things in his own way."

"So if you had the love of your life in a hospital you wouldn´t care to find them?" You are once again getting angry, even though you are strongly agaisnt the man, maybe you are overreacting. Or maybe you are right the whole time. Thoughts are running in and out of your head. Too much things at the moment.

"(Y/N), people react differently in situations like these. Give him some time."

But the silence from Mike speaks louder than any explanation Natasha could offer. The realization stirs a mix of emotions — frustration, disappointment, and a strange sense of feeling you couldn´t name yet.

Natasha leaves the hospital room, offering a reassuring smile as she heads to the cafeteria to check up on Steve and Yelena. The door closes behind her, leaving you alone with your thoughts and sleeping Kate.

After some time, Natasha returns with Yelena, her expression serious. "Steve's heading back to the compound to take care of some calls and paperwork. He'll be back soon," she informs you.

The hospital room feels both empty and crowded, a paradoxical mix of solitude and shared concern. Yelena, seated by the window, looks up as Natasha speaks. "We´ll stay here with you for a while," Nat offers.

Grateful for the company, you nod, and Natasha takes a seat in the corner, while Yelena sits by Kate's bedside. The atmosphere in the room becomes more subdued, the weight of the events settling in.

After a little bit you step out to get some fresh air, a knot of tension lingers. The hallway outside is quiet, and you take a moment to collect your thoughts. As you turn to the bathrooms, you notice someone standing a little way down the corridor — Mike, Kate's boyfriend.

His presence catches you off guard, and a mixture of emotions surges within. The frustration from the previous thoughts intensifies, and a sense of unease accompanies the realization that he's here, yet the silence persists.

Mike looks up from his phone, noticing you. His expression is a mix of surprise and discomfort. The air between you is thick with unspoken words and unresolved tensions. It's a moment frozen in time, the hospital hallway becoming a silent arena for a confrontation that has been brewing beneath the surface.

Yelena and Natasha remain inside the room, unaware of the encounter in the hallway. The decision of whether to address the situation or let it linger hangs in the air, and as you lock eyes with Mike. You know Kate would not want you to go up to him and start a fight, but you can´t help it.

The air in the hospital hallway thickens as you approach Mike, who seems taken aback by your presence. A mix of frustration and anger simmers beneath the surface, waiting to erupt.

"It took you a while to finally arrive," you say, the words laced with a mixture of scoff and irritation.

Mike doesn't respond with an apology or explanation. Instead, he meets your challenging gaze and, with a dismissive tone, retorts, "Why do you care?"

The confrontation escalates, each word becoming a verbal jab as the tension between you intensifies. Mike, rather than showing concern for Kate or acknowledging the gravity of the situation, responds with rudeness and indifference.

"Why do I care?!" There it is, the sharp exchange of words. "If she was my girlfriend, I would call, text—I would run into every hospital, until I would find her!" you shout, your frustration boiling over. But Mike remains unmoved, his calm demeanor only fueling the fire.

"But she's not," he speaks with an unsettling calmness.

The words hang in the air, a harsh reality that slaps you in the face. "What?" you stammer, caught off guard by the bluntness of his statement.

"You've said it yourself, if. She is not your girlfriend," Mike replies, his words cutting through the emotional turmoil like a knife.

The realization hits hard, the vulnerability beneath your anger exposed. The hurt, disappointment, and frustration converge into a surge of raw emotion.

Natasha, hearing the escalating confrontation, steps in, grabbing your hand to stop you from saying or doing anything impulsive. "You won't help her by this, (Y/N)," she says calmly, her grip a grounding force amid the tempest of emotions.

The hospital hallway becomes a silent witness to the tangled threads of relationships, the fractures laid bare in the harsh light of truth. As Natasha intervenes, you take a deep breath, grappling with the storm of emotions within. The focus shifts from the confrontation to the shared concern for Kate's well-being, a reminder that in the face of adversity, unity is more crucial than discord.

Natasha makes you take a few deep breaths, trying to diffuse the tension. Frustration still simmers within you, and you can't shake off the urge to do something impulsive. Your words to Natasha echo your volatile emotions.

"He's being an arrogant idiot," you mutter to Natasha, your anger palpable. "I swear, if I didn't care about Kate, I'd punch him."

Mike, unfazed, wears an arrogant smile as if reveling in the chaos he has incited. The atmosphere in the hospital corridor remains charged, the unspoken conflict simmering beneath the surface. With a frustrated scoff you finally manage to go to the bathroom, to freshen up a little bit, or at least calm the anger burning inside you.

In the midst of the tension, a weak voice cuts through the air. Kate stirs in her hospital bed, her gaze flickering around the room as she tries to make sense of her surroundings. Her eyes land on Yelena, who is engrossed in a magazine.

"What the hell was that?" Kate asks, her voice a mix of confusion and concern.

"Kate! You´re awake! Oh and that? (Y/N)." Yelena puts the magazine down.

"Is she okay?" Kate asks without a beat.

Yelena hesitates for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "She's… okay."

The ambiguity in Yelena's response doesn't escape Kate's notice. "Whats that supposed to mean?" Kate´s voice still very raspy from just waking up.

"Well curently she´s cursing at your boy for being a dick." The blonde chuckles, as she´s rooting for your win.

"She is?" Kate's eyes widen with a mix of surprise and concern.

"Yeah… I heard Natasha step in, too sad I wanted to see (Y/N) throw some fists, she could take him.." Yelena looks at Kate, "what? I´m just stating the facts."

Kate tries to sit up and leave the bed, but Yelena immedietly notices and tries to keep her in bed. "No, Kate, stay." But that doesn´t stop the injured archer.

Ignoring Yelena's attempts to keep her in bed, Kate go out the room, trying to piece together the events that led her here until her gaze finally lands on Natasha, a silent guardian in the midst of the unfolding drama. Mike´s back is facing Kate as she somehow walked out of her hospital room.

"You all are crazy, who do you think you guys are? Mighty heroes?" He laughs "At least Kate will realize how useless her bow and arrow is…"

"Mike…" Natasha tries as she meets Kate´s blue eyes. Her posture softens a little bit with relief as she notices that Kate is awake.

"If her dad was around maybe she would get some sences knocked into her, this is ridicilous. Pretending to be a hero." Kate barerly stands there, she hopes this is just a big hallucination from the pills they gave her. "And who is your inspiration, hm? A- a- hooker mixed with Lara Croft?"

Natasha steps forward with a slight smile on her face, "If I was you, I would choose your words more wisely."

"What did you just said?" Kate jumps in with a question, her voice cracking up a little bit.

Mike turns around, completly shifting his body language, "oh babe! You are awake!" He rushes to her side but Yelena is quick to walk out of the room and push him away.

"Возьми ее за руки, и я сломаю тебе все кости в твоем чертовом теле." Yelena is really ready to strike.

(translation: Get your fucking hands on her and I´ll break all of your bones in your god damn body.)

"Leave me alone, she is my girlfriend!" The guy states. "Mine, understand?!" He tries to fight off the Widow, but if anything it was more of a sad try on his side.

The dismissive tone and lack of accountability in Mike's words infuriate Kate. Her face contorts with anger as she delivers a stern message. "You need to leave, Mike. I don't want to see you."

"Babe-" Mike's another attempt at a protest is met with a stern gaze from Kate, cutting him off. "Go home, Mike. I need some space."

"It´s because of your freak friend, right? That poor (Y/N)…" He somehow gets Yelena´s hands off of him and adjust his jacket.

Kate's eyes narrow at the mention of your name, and a wave of frustration washes over her. "Go."

Before Mike can respond Natasha is leading him out of the sight, while Yelena helps Kate back to her bed.

Kate nods, a mix of gratitude and relief in her eyes. "Thanks, guys. Now, can someone fill me in on everything that happened?"

As Yelena explains everything from the mission to this moment, Natasha, with her keen sense of observation, follows the emotional trail to find you in the bathroom. The tension and frustration from the earlier confrontation still linger, and she approaches you with a steady but understanding gaze.

"Kate is awake," Natasha announces, her words breaking through the quiet reflection in the bathroom.

The news propels you into action. Without a second thought, you practically sprint back to the hospital room where Kate is, your heart racing with a mix of anxienty and relief.

With Yelena and Natasha giving you some privacy, the atmosphere in the hospital room becomes more intimate. Kate looks at you with a mixture of gratitude and curiosity, and you can sense the unspoken questions lingering in the air.

"You really went to fight for me out there," Kate says, breaking the silence. Her voice is soft, filled with appreciation.

You give her a small smile. "Of course, Kate. He´s such an- anytime."

Kate chuckles at your words, "I appreciate it. More than you know." You find yourself sit next to her side once again. "I just couldn't stand by and let him hurt you. You mean a lot to me."

Kate's expression softens, and she reaches out to take your hand. "You mean a lot to me too. I didn't expect anyone to stand up for me like that."

"Well, get used to it," you say with a playful grin. "I've got your back. And now more than ever, miss walking into a room with explossives." You playfully tease her.

Kate just laughs, even though it hurts her a little bit.

"So, what did you do in the hallway, before Nat stepped in?"

You can't help but chuckle, the tension dissipating. "Oh nothing, just me telling off to your not-so-charming boyfriend."

Kate raises an eyebrow wanting to say something totally different then the thing she left out. "Hm, alright then."

"You should get some rest," you smile as you put the blanket over her. "I´m fine, actually I don´t feel much pain." Kate says as she visible fights off the sleepiness.

"That´s because you´re high, Bishop." You chuckle.

"Hm… interesting, I didn´t though about it." She opens her eyes. "You´re so high."

"Yup. Probably, I mean… this stuff is good. It got the kick." She smiles as she shifts a little bit in her bed and she finally drift off.

...

As the days pass, you continue to be by Kate's side, offering support and companionship during her recovery in the hospital. Your presence becomes a source of comfort, and together, you navigate the challenges of rehabilitation. Feeling like you two are even closer than before, feeling so good around her as she does. You feel complete again.

Not a signle thought about Mike in yours or Kate´s head.

Finally, the day arrives when Kate is well enough to leave the hospital. You assist her in the wheelchair, wheeling her out of the hospital room and through the corridors. As you approach the compound, the familiar faces of the Avengers greet both of you with smiles and cheers. They've organized a "Welcome Back" party for Kate, a celebration of her recovery and return.

With the wheelchair parked in the midst of the festive atmosphere, Kate insists, "I can handle the wheelchair on my own, you know." You respond with a playful grin, "I like to push you around."

The words carry a lighthearted warmth, an acknowledgment of the bond that has grown stronger during these trying times. Kate chuckles, appreciating the sentiment behind your words.

Throughout the party, you continue to take care of Kate, ensuring she's comfortable and included in the festivities. The Avengers express their relief and happiness at seeing Kate back on her feet, and the atmosphere is one of shared joy and camaraderie.

As the night progresses, the two of you find a quiet corner to sit and talk. The glow of the party surrounds you, but in that moment, it's the connection between you and Kate that shines the brightest.

"You've been a real friend through all of this," Kate says, sincerity in her eyes.

"I just wanted to be here for you," you reply, a soft smile on your face. After a little you look back at her. "I had this crazy idea. Do you trust me, Bishop?" you ask, a playful smile on your face.

Kate looks at you with a mix of curiosity and a hint of nervous anticipation. "Do I have a choice?" she replies, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

"Not really," you admit, your eyes dancing with excitement. "Fine, fine. I trust you." Kate nods.

"Okay, then get ready, because we´re going for a ride!" You say as you help her get back on the wheelchair. "It took me a little bit to figure it out, but I watched some youtube tutorials and I think it should work." You ramble to Kate, who still have zero idea what you´re talking about.

"Close your eyes, please,"you instruct, and Kate, now used to your playful antics, complies with a smirk.

As she close her eyes shut, you push the wheelchair, outside. Little cold breeze hitting the both of you. You push her infront of the homemade ramp, you made couple nights ago, thanks to some random guy on YouTube.

"Alright, open your eyes," you announce, stepping back to reveal your creation.

Kate opens her eyes, and her gaze shifts from you to the makeshift ramp. A mixture of surprise and excitement lights up her face. "What's all this? You won´t push me off, right?" she asks, with a giggle.

"I thought we could use a change of scenery," you say with a grin.

"And since our favorite place is the rooftop, I figured, why not bring it to you?" You smile, being really pround of what you´ve build. Deep down still hoping it won´t break as soon as Kate´s wheelchair will go on it.

"You built this?" Kate's eyes widen with appreciation as she takes in the effort you've put into creating a way for her to join you on the rooftop. You just nod at her question.

"This is amazing," Kate says, her voice filled with gratitude. "To the roof and beyond!" If this wouldn´t be Kate, you would find this quote use very cheesy, but since it´s Kate, you had to let out a chuckle.

With careful precision, you guide Kate up the improvised ramp, ensuring her safety as she rides to the rooftop. Once you both reach the top, a breathtaking view of the city awaits, and the sounds of the party below are replaced by the serene hum of the night.

Seated together on the rooftop, surrounded by the city lights, you and Kate share a moment of quiet companionship. The homemade ramp, a symbol of your dedication and the uniqueness of your connection, becomes a testament to the lengths you're willing to go to make each other happy.

As you sit side by side, overlooking the cityscape, Kate breaks the silence with a sincere look in her eyes. "I'm sorry about not listening to you."

You meet her gaze, the connection between you deepening. "I'm sorry about being right about your boy," you say with a playful laugh. Kate chuckles. "Well, I think it's good to burst out the bubble. He's not my boy anymore."

"What?" The shock in your voice is palpable.

"Yeah. I broke up with him, and he replied with a thumbs up and a 'You weren't even worth it.' So…"

"Oh my god, Kate, I'm so sorry-" You instinctively reach for her hand.

"No, you're not," she interrupts with a reassuring smile.

"Not about him, but… you don't deserve that. Who does he think he is? Oh my god, I'll tell him-" Now it's Kate's turn to take your hand. "Okay, Rambo, calm down," Kate teases. "I'm fine, really. And he´s the one not worth it."

"So he wasn´t the chosen one?" You tease.

"Oh that´t a low blow, (Y/L/N)" She roll her eyes, but laugh along with you.

As the night unfolds, the atmosphere between you two is not just warm; it's a comforting embrace that you don´t want ever lose again, even if it means being just friends with the archer.

Thank you for reading!!!

[fruityhoon]

eat with me

soft yandere!hee x gn!reader

warnings/note: mentions of food, eating, hee’s a sweet boi here, fluff, slightly paranoid hee, NOT proofread (i wrote all of this half asleep so bare w me)

————

it was way past midnight and you couldn’t sleep, all you had was some leftover sandwich from the fridge for dinner so what better way was there than to eat?

only one problem..

you had to sneak past heeseung in order to be able to do that.

sure he was sweet and would do anything for you, but heeseung wasn’t the type to let his guard down and let you out of his sight especially past midnight, he’d always make sure you fell asleep first before he could catch some sleep. and if you were hungry, he’d make something light for you so your stomach wouldn’t be rumbling all night.

but tonight was a little different, he came back home exhausted, immediately taking a shower and laid next to you resulting in him falling asleep before you which was something he never did

and right now you took the opportunity and slowly climbed out of bed while making sure heeseung doesn’t feel your absence next to him

you went downstairs and headed into the kitchen, taking a look inside the fridge you noticed there wasn’t really anything for you to eat which lead you looking through the cabinets and voila!

instant noodles.

heeseung never really lets you get your hands on them as he quote on quote said, “it’s unhealthy and you should be eating proper meals instead”

‘why does he have a lot of them in the cabinet here then?’ you thought to yourself

taking 2 packs of the noodles, you dont know how but you managed to not make much noise and made yourself a nice bowl of shin ramyeon

———

he lazily opened his eyes, trying to find your warmth to then which he realised you werent there next to him.

immediately sitting up, heeseung grabbed his phone on the nightstand and opened an app to see if there were any notifications of the doors or windows being opened or even unlocked but there werent any

‘fuck fuck fuck where are they?’

the man got out of bed despite his hair being all over the place, wondering where you were while trying to keep himself calm

he was being paranoid, thinking you snuck out and ran away, cursing at himself for letting his guard down this one time until he heard faint noises coming from the kitchen

he walked over slowly and a sigh of relief came from him as he saw you in the kitchen about to eat your noodles

———

you were about to engulf your food when a pair of arms hugged you from the back, you flinched and let out a small yelp, almost knocking over your food

pulling away and turning around, you were met with a pair of bambi eyes looking straight at you before he hugged you again , resting his face in the crook of your neck

“dont do that to me again, you scared me” he lowly whispered in your ear as he hugged you even tighter, you could hear the fear in his voice

feeling bad you slowly pulled away and caressed his head and looked at your food

“im sorry.. i was really hungry but you looked really tired and exhausted before you slept so i didnt wanna wake you up” you looked down at your foot, feeling guilty that you made him feel scared

“i dont care how tired i look if you need anything just tell me okay? i’ll always be there no matter how exhausted i am and i need you to know that” you nodded as he cupped both of your cheeks before leaving a small peck on your forehead

“c’mere” you pulled him to the seat next you as you quickly got up to grab something, leaving the man confused

you came back to your seat as you handed him a pair of utensils and placed a glass of water on the table

“eat with me” you nudged the bowl slightly to his side, the man raising an eyebrow as a response

“you didnt eat anything today hee, its not like i can finish this anways, share with me okay?” you said as you gave him a soft smile

“baby its o-“

“if you dont share with me i’ll be really upset” you cut him off as you emphasised on the ‘really’, knowing he’d give in to you since you knew the last thing he wants is for you to be upset with him

and you were right. he spent too long waiting for you, now that he finally had you with him he wanted to treat you well and give you all he had. he was always listening to you, complying to your needs while always being cautious of course

but you didnt mind, although he was really overprotective he still made you feel loved and you felt safe with him and thats all that matters to you

“okay okay we’ll share” he let out a small giggle as he ruffled your hair and the both of you shared the bowl of ramen which was probably already soggy at this point

———

“your not mad.. right?” you spoke out as the both of you finished the food

“baby of course not, what makes you think that?” he looked at you as he frowned

“i don’t know i just thought you’d be mad” you got up and took the dishes to go wash them but he stopped you

“im not mad y/n, i just got a little scared that’s all” he took the dishes from your hands and walked over to the sink

you hugged him from behind as you mumbled out a quiet ‘sorry’ , resting ur cheeks on his back

“it’s okay, you wanna cuddle on the couch?” he dried his hands and turned to look at you to which you nodded

the both of you sat on the couch cuddling, your head on his chest and him leaning on your head, one of his hand gently caressing your back

cuddling sessions on the couch were always nice and it wasn’t until a few weeks ago the both of you started doing it

“please don’t leave me y/n, i don’t know what i’d do without you” he softly whispered out of nowhere, but you know it was just him overthinking

“i’ll be here, always” you responded as he smiled and started humming lullabies, something he’d do to make you sleepy

you fiddled with his other hand, slowly falling asleep to the melody you were hearing

and soon enough you fell asleep, heeseung noticed and kissed your forehead, dozing off not long after.

——————————————————————————

author’s note: im not really the type to write fluff but i just wrote down whatever came to mind honestly, let me know what yall think :D

[adawngswife]

dating sean diaz hcs pt 2

- before esteban fixed up a car for sean, u guys would always take the public bus around seattle

- his favorite dates r the ones where u guys go into random small stores and thrift shops

- both of u guys cackle REALLY LOUD at tacky shirts with stupid sayings and get looks from people 😭

- ur fav thing is to go “i found something ud like” and watch sean look up from the racks in excitement to see an overly patriotic shirt that says “don’t touch my truck”

- his face drops into a frown and he picks out something 10x uglier and say it looks like something ud wear

- sean secretly buys what u say is cute but u cant afford bc thrifting is so expensive for no reason these days

- “guess what i got” and he slithers it out of his bag with an evil smile 😭 suddenly him dissing u for an hour straight doesnt even matter anymore

- once esteban texts sean for dinner u guys hop on the bus back home. he never asks sean to come home for dinner alone though! common courtesy to invite the gf

- sharing wired earbuds on the bus ride home always. sean plays little love songs bc he only listens to music that he relates to in that specific moment 😭 corny but cute. he def has songs in his head that he thinks are ur guys’ songs and plays them every chance he gets

- when u first started eating with the diaz family it was so painfully awkward

- though he kind of likes it now, he did not want his girlfriend to get to know esteban or daniel too well LMAO he didnt want to be embarrassed by anything they possibly could say

- still, even when he tried so hard to avoid it, daniel and esteban still found their ways

- estebans the kind of dad to bring up embarrassing stories about sean when he was a kid bc he KNOWS how much his son would hate it

- “y’know (y/n), im surprised seanie boy over here even managed to get a girlfriend in the first place”

- “why is that, mr. diaz?”

- “i remember he thought girls couldn’t poop until he was in middle school! i had to break the news for him—he was in denial for weeks. his voice was shaking when i told him and everything!” u can see sean pause mid-chew in the corner of his eye 😭 “and please, call me esteban”

- you just awkwardly nodded and tried to not bust out laughing. sean notices and kicks u under the table which makes u ACTUALLY bust out laughing

- esteban and daniel knew from there u were one to be trusted

- “i bet (y/n) doesn’t poop” daniel randomly said when u left that night. seans immediately swiveled his head around 😭

- just like with lyla, daniel seemed to have a crush on u as well. the only difference is that sean tries to shut it down REALLY quick.

- “she shits all the time. sometimes i wipe her ass for her bc she shits so much”

- daniel’s “eww…” is like music to his ears

- u always playfully punch him when he does this in front of u and ask why he makes u look bad in front of him

- sean never admits its bc hes jealous of a little kid 😭 he just changes the subject and kisses u bc he thinks hes sneaky

- over the summer he randomly got a buzz and didnt say anything to anybody

- he just opened his front door standing there bald as if nothing happened and ur eyes wld just kind of widen

- u wld eventually tell him it looks good tho bc it DOES he pulls it off so well

- that summer u wld always randomly start feeling his head because the texture is so interesting

- it got to the point where hed just sit on the floor in front of wherever u were so ud get to feel his freshly mowed head

- he always ends up dozing off bc its so comforting and u wld feel his head pressed on ur inner leg.

- u also get the privilege of cutting/buzzing his hair 😋

- sean doesnt trust himself so u guys sit for 40 mins watching a brad mondo video before u start going ape on his hair

- he gets kind of nervous when u get close to his face and does that thing where u switch between a persons right eye and left eye while smiling awkwardly 😭

- surprisingly it turns out good!

- i feel like ud be super nit-picky on ur work, thinking its total ass. he wld just say its perfect over and over again

- he always stares at any reflective surface and smiles like a dork in front of it. even if u did do a shit job, he probably wouldnt notice or care all that much bc he loves blindly ❤️

im on winter break so i get to be cringe and free for endless hours thank u to like the 3 other people who also like sean diaz. u r all real ones

[flemlem]

okay so thoughts about creation saying that tubbo never was alive. This has been making me go wild. I have so many thoughts about his character and what this may make his character. So in we go, my inane ramblings.( warning, this is Long long)

So first off, during Fit's birthday, after Tubbo had been bugged and Etoiles had said that there was going to be a lot of tweets about how his character could see ghosts now, Tubbo responded with "look man, I was dead a long time ago". So not only has creation told people that Tubbo has Been dead, Q!Tubbo is also aware of this fact. He knows he's not human, he knows hes not alive, he just doesnt really care. Which does kind of make me confused about all his suicidal tendancies but hey, maybe since he's already died at least once he doesn't really care anymore. It's all a joke to him. That's why he always plays it off as nothing serious because he knows, worst comes to worst, he'll be back one day. Or at least thats what he might think. It might also just be the desperation of 'Maybe this time it will work. Maybe this time I will actually die'. Maybe he's been dead for a long time actually. Maybe this is his first iteration or maybe it's his fiftieth.

so my main thought is that he Was alive. Not recently. not recently at all. But he was, once upon a time. There was a time in the far far past, or the far far future where his heart beat on its own and he had to breathe to keep living, to keep creating. Then something happened. Maybe he got into a tough spot and the feds found him and changed him. Maybe in his creation he changed himself. The main reason that I think he Was alive at some point is because of what he said at the party. that he "was dead a long time ago". He doesnt say somehting like 'I've always been dead' just that he Has been dead for A Long Time.

Im personally all for him having died, time and time again, not quite robot not quite human. His conciousness just inhabits a shell. That's why he still has all his limbs despite definetly getting hands caught in crushers before. Maybe that shell is mechanical. Maybe Its something else. Maybe it is like creation. Something he made, that he molded from metal and flesh and clay that is just... hollow. A puppet with cut strings when its not being inhabited. Maybe he got too attached to this shell, maybe thats why he needs to be brought back this time.

I do like the thought that he changed himself. somewhere along the line maybe he got sick, or maybe he just got curious. He started swapping parts out Just Because. He's not Totally a robot. He still looks human enough, just that some of his joints, his muscels, his organs, well, they're not quite organic anymore. He did this to himself. He needed to keep living, he needed to keep creating. He couldnt leave his Creations behind. He needed to continue to make more and to up keep the ones he had already made. He just... forgot to upkeep himself while he was at it.

I also fully believe that he Knew that he was going to die. It wasn't that he wanted the two lives left, its just that he Knew that his body was going to fail soon. He doesn't have create to upkeep this body (this shell) for much longer. It could only take so much damage before it started to give out. That's why he made the 'deal ' with chayanne. He needed the others to think there was a reason for this, that he had signed his life away for more excitement. He needed them to not question it when he didnt get back up. He needed there to be an easy answer to point at. That's why Chayanne said that he thought that it was a joke. He didn't think it was serious because the deal never Actually Happened. But it didnt matter. He was going to die either way.

So anyway, thats like, most of my current thoughts rn. Im So Excited for this :DDDD I want it to permanentally affect Everyone.

[insocat]

i really appreciate how well the fandom’s taking in alhaitham and kaveh sometimes - not in a shipping way but just their dynamic

*some slight spoilers to things like archon quests, character stories (and kaveh’s unreleased ones)*

like despite being shown only in the later acts, ive seen a lot more about them than ive seen with other dynamics (debatably on par with zhongchi when they were introduced)

i think theyre just really relatable for many people because i think a lot of the demographic of genshin community are students or young adults and theyve lived through their student days pretty recently and they understand that sometimes, even in the stifling environment of academics, theres also some stupid things that will inevitably come around

like the reasons why they get ticked off by each other is stupid, but i mean, i want to say weve all been through something like that before and its usually pretty harmless and we look back on it and laugh

or the angst that they also had to live through, and i think its shown best in kaveh - living through the high of his life, pursuing his dreams with the palace of alcazarzaray only to have it all crashing back onto him - a period of his life he would rather forget entirely, and has left him struggling to live on his own

of your best efforts, putting your all into what you do, and the harsh reality that its just not enough, just out of your control, and you can’t do anything about it. they show how you can be gifted at something, but also the burdens of it - alhaitham’s undoubtedly a genius, but also practically ostracized for it for his pragmatism and coldness towards others, and regular akademiya students hold him on some pedestal they just can’t reach, contributing more to his ‘robot’ vibe we initially got of him. kaveh has is own problems where despite talented, he’s taken advantage of by others. not necessarily exploited for his talents, but he’s been tricked and held himself back at times just to help others (whether or not its his own fault is a different matter)

the idea of leaving family. while alhaitham lost his parents, he was essentially brought up by his grandmother and he practically peacefully let go of her, like how children can grow up and parents watch them turn into an adult, support them, and recognize that this time it’s their child’s turn to start their lives, and while his grandmother is no longer present to see through this, it’s still a stark contrast to kaveh’s, specifically his mother. I feel like while it’s his mother that’s the one who moves away during kaveh’s younger years, it’s a lot similar to how parents kick their own children out of their house once they reach adulthood. kaveh isn’t settled into this life of independence or cut ties nicely like alhaitham had, instead, he’s thrown into this world and has to figure things out on his own and bear the burdens of it

anyways thats just my thoughts on the two i just wanted to get this out there because i think hoyo really outdid themselves with this dynamic

(ayato and thoma, despite being that five-star-four-star duo like alhaitham and kaveh didnt really sail as well as these two did but im really happy their dynamic is just so complex)

[randomperson3736]

Why?

Paring(s): Evan "Buck" Buckley x reader, the 118 x reader

Genre: angst

Warning(s): Character death, getting stuck under a building, sad buck, major crushing injuries, a little bit of swearing

Summary: Being a first responder isn't as easy as everyone thinks it is.

Word bank: Y/N- your name, Y/L/N- your last name

Notes: omg my loves I am so thankfully that u guys have been sending me requests like it just warms my heart so much. And I will make sure I finish them soon 😙 also the reader is a paramedic with the 118.

(Listen to this while reading) ☝️☝️☝️

"Y/L/N, do you copy?"

"Y/N, report"

Bobby's voice was distant, barely reaching your ringing ears as the weight of the build settled on your chest. You could feel your lungs heaving against the weight, an arm struggling to grasp at your uniform to respond.

For whatever reason, only one of your arms moved as you fumbled with your radio, grasping it with shaking hands. You oriented it so you could squeeze the button and respond.

"Copy," you chocked out, struggling to breathe. Your chest didn't let you inhale, but your eyes were so blurry and filled with debris that you couldn't make out why.

Why?

The question repeated in your head as you tried to focus on the radio, on the voice on the other end. It sounded.... desperate, angry. Fearful. "Y/N, we need your location. Where are you?" The voice crackled through the speaker.

You didn't know where, all you knew was the word why. You weren't sure if it was the gasping breaths that slowly became more of a struggle, or the lack of being able to remember, remember where you are, remember what you're doing, remember who he are, and why your heart throbs everytime he speaks.

"Y/N, where are you? I'm coming, I promise, but I need to know where you are. Focus," the voice was growing more desperate, huffs of breath sounding ove the radio. He was running, you could tell by the way his voice jumped with every step he took and his laboured exhales.

Why?

You looked around, blinking your eyes a few times as the world came back into view around you. Broken glass, crumbling walls, splintered wood. Smoke, fire, sky poking through the blown building, dark and moody. It reflected about how you felt; suffocated.

"In... in a... house," you wheezed. Every time you breathed out,the weight got heavier. You finally have the thought to look down, and only when you saw the concrete pillar crushing your body with blood oozing from under it, did the pain start.

So, so much pain.

"Y/N? Y/N, where are you?" The voices were close, so close, but they didn't see you. He didnt see you. Your face pulled into a grimace as you tried to focus air into your lungs, a last ditch effort at something, anything, to get the voices to come near.

"Buck!" You yelled his name, the sound struggling and cut off as the pillar depressed your chest. You heard footsteps run past again before rounding toppled wall. They stopped abruptly behind you as you tried to look up to meet his graze. After a moment, a figure slid next to you, looking between your face, your crushed body, and the pillar.

"Shit..." was all he muttered, over and over again as his hands hovered over your body, trying to figure out what he should do. His eyes were wide, the piercing blue shadowed with clouds of worry and guilt.

Why?

You knew from Buck's facial expression, the weight on your chest, and your wanting thoughts that this isn't good. You could feel the life being squeezed out of you as your consciousness bled out like a red puddle surrounding you. It was only a matter of time.

"Ok, Y/N, please. Please stay with me while I...I get some more help. I need you to stay calm, ok? Stay awake," he said, his tone wavering into terror as his uniform pants soaked up the growing crimson be you laid on. Buck reached up to his radio, messing with it to call in for back up.

"Why?" You gasped out. Buck's panicked eyes turned confused for a moment as they looked into your own. The question confused him, catching him off guard.

"Why? To get you out, Y/N," he said with a failing sterness. He tried his radio. "This is Buckley, we need medical help right now."

That is, until you reached up your free hand, placing it lossely and heavily on the radio, pushing it from his face. You look up at him, eyes unwaving as you attempted a smile through your laboured gasps. Buck looked back, he eyes hard but stormy.

'Why, Buck?" You asked again. "I'm done."

"No, no you're not. You're getting out, you have too," Buck shook his head, grabbing your hand over his. His voice turned angry. "You have to, Y/N. I won't let you lay here and give up."

His words were sharp, but even they couldn't cover up the building lump in his throat that he spoke around. Your smiled wider, your breath starting to leave you as your head became light and unorganised. The pain started to numb.

"Go, Buck," you said softly. "Go while you can. I'm done."

Your repeated words made him shake. Buck didn't want to believe it, he couldn't. He looked around, his movements sharp and angry. He stood, grasping under the massive cement pillar and grunting as he tried to lift it, using all of his strength.

Buck's eyes were wrenched closed, his breath held as every single muscle tried to lift the immovable weight. He continued to strain as you watched, your heart stuttering on empty veins.

He pushed and pushed, his body trying to work as hard as his mind did, the fear of losing you, his co-worker, his partner, his lover. It was unbearable. A scream tore from his vocal cords, booming, deep, and carrying the weight of his plea with the universe that rang in his head over and over and over again.

Not now. No Y/N. Please, anyone but her.

Buck fell to his knees back beside you, knowing but not wanting to believe that his efforts were useless. He took your hand, cold and limp.

"Y/N?" He muttered, these ound barely reaching you. "Y/N, please, not yet sweetheart. They can... they can get someone to help, they will get someone to pull you out. Please."

His pleads filled your ears as the ringing rose, your last shuddering breath leaving your mouth in half formed words.

"I love you, Buck."

The weight from your chest dissipated, peace.

The weight on Buck's heart crushed, grief.

[kkbardd]

so uhh i got summoned to asurei court, if anyone's interested in my testimony papers, theyre down below the cut. (aka my whole take on how i believe their dynamic would develop in cannon)

asurei isn’t for everyone & its whole point is unhealthy dependence.. toxic yuri if u will.. anything resembling a healthy relationship would only be in one of the alt universes created by the 3rd impact 💀 rei and asuka both have what the other wants (whether it be the worth asuka puts on recognition of piloting skills or rei's desire to break from mindless obedience like asuka seems to do so easily.) They both hate and admire each other for this, and asuka specifically expresses this by lashing out at rei. asuka's whole relationship w lesbian comphet plays a HUGE role into all of this but let’s gloss over it for the time being. (now, with asurei u gotta get a bit delusional cuz cannon doesn’t give us much so from here on out is just my opinion on how it'd play out.)

in terms of rei's POV in this:

rei hates the attention they gets from men, and is especially disgusted by gendo's fake kindness. he sees rei as a replaceable doll and pushes yui's image on them. gendo has never actually seen rei for who they really are, and rei later begins to hate and despise not only gendo but themselves too. in the anime, rei is shown to have self destructive tendencies & suicidal ideation because not only are they constantly being replaced & having their memory wiped, but each time they forget any sort of emotion that they learn in the meantime. recall the scene in which rei, right after being "revived" and left with no memory, sees gendo's glasses. although they cant remember anything, its hinted that their "soul" still remembers and hates him. rei tries to break the glasses but in the end, they’re still unable to defy and break free from their situation. feeling frustrated and helpless, rei starts crying & remarks how this should be the first time they've experienced it but somehow it feels like its not. back to the present, reis acting very reckless in battle and basically using themselves as a meat shield. they're so full of self-hate, and seeing asuka's obvious inferiority to them just upsets them even more. why does she put so much worth on the one thing that acts like a plague to them? compared to these pointless test results on a screen, asuka has something so much more valuable. the ability to think for themselves, to not be someone's doll. asuka's inferiority is almost insulting. rei verbally lashes out at asuka in the elevator, showing defiance that they never knew they could produce. it felt almost liberating. they find that being around asuka gives them emotions that they've always longed for, no matter how ugly they may be. they soon find themselves seeking asuka out, and the inferiority that was once insulting became a means to control and keep her close. asuka, someone who was seemingly invincible and can roam free without care, has one weakness that causes her to crack and shatter from the slightest touch. and that weakness is none other than rei themselves. rei becomes possessive in a way that they've never known possible. so much so that a part of them starts to hate themselves, fearing they've become just like their abuser gendo. nonetheless, rei begins to value their life more. they become deathly afraid of dying & being replaced by some mindless clone that has forgotten everything they now know about asuka and themself.

now what is asuka doing in all of this?

asuka deals with a lot of comphet and its an integral part of her character, so much so that it doesn’t seem right to not mention it. but to quickly summarize, because of this she has a love-hate relationship with attention from men. she feels disgusted by it but gets extremely jealous when it seems like another girl might replace her. then comes rei. (now what most ppl don’t seem to notice is asuka didnt start off hating rei, she tried to be friends but ever since the beginning misato has ALWYAYS pitted them against each other. this of course led asuka to feeling threatened & seeing rei as an enemy. especially since it involves piloting ability, something that asuka sees as her whole point of living.) she begins to hate her because how can someone who is so good at piloting be so brainless and doll-like. that’s exactly what asuka was trying so hard to not become! in this aspect, rei's entire existence defies what asuka has tried so hard to believe in up to this point. her hate & inferiority towards rei is only made worse when she sees that they're not only being objectified by men, but are seemingly unbothered by it unlike asuka. rei is now constantly on her mind, and asuka starts to realize that what she's feeling towards them isn’t just hate. its around the time of the elevator scene that these confusing emotions and inferiorities are at their peak. right after this, asuka goes into battle & is ordered to be rei's backup. she defies this order but receives a mental attack from an angel that causes her to re-live all of her trauma & comphet issues. the person that saved her from this is none other than rei. at this point asuka is at an all-time low, and states that she'd rather be left for dead than saved by someone like rei. she’s still confused by her feelings towards rei, but right now her hatred and insecurity is taking priority. its right after this battle that her synchro rates plummet and she loses the #1 thing she based her life worth on. she then goes out to die in an abandoned building but is eventually retrieved by NERV. I believe that during this time alone, she’s also wallowing in her feelings for rei and coming to terms with a lot of comphet stuff, especially after that psychological attack. right after this the world like ends or whatever but lets forget that for now & extend time cuz the gays need it 🥰 .

rei and asuka at this point realize their feelings in one way or another, and there's a lot of tension in their conversations. asuka is at a very fragile point rn bc of all the stuff that just went on, and rei is unsure how to go about things, half due to their inexperience & half due to their fear of becoming like gendo. however, asuka realizes rei is acting different from before, and advances on them as a way of lashing out. but to her surprise rei is undefiant and actually willingly helpless in her hands. she feels a rush of superiority and is amused by how inexperienced rei is. she also realizes that unlike her previous experiences with men (like when she tried to kiss shinji but didnt want to see, smell, taste, or even feel it & had a mental breakdown afterwards lol ) she actually likes it!? the romantic/sexual affirmation that asuka has always wanted from men like kaji is being fulfilled by rei in a way that asuka feels completely in control & comfortable. she's not forcing herself or being objectified, but rather is taking the lead. this is something she never imagined possible before. and all of this is with rei to boot! the rei that, in asuka's eyes, has always looked down on her and been unobtainable is now melting in her hands like putty. there’s a sense of accomplishment she feels, which makes her want to push rei even more. she finally has authority and to make herself feel better, she takes it out on rei through advances like this. she goes further and further, and in an ironic way, uses intimacy as a form of self-harm. she feels shame and despises herself for doing such things with ill-intent, and with another woman at that. its a toxic relationship that tries to fill the hole in her heart, but only leads to a bigger one forming.

when asuka first advanced onto rei, they felt something unlike anything before. unlike when gendo would often touch their shoulder, rei didnt recoil from asuka's touch. rei also felt something similar to asuka, in that the person who always seemed unbound by anything in now giving them her undivided attention. the fact that this came from an act of anger didnt really bother rei, since they knew from the beginning that was one of the only ways to get asuka to even spare them a glance. rei would gladly become hated if it meant binding asuka to them. in a mix of touch-starvedness & unhealthy dependency on asuka, rei kept looking forward to any interacting with asuka, since it was what really made them feel alive. asuka slowly becomes rei's world and meaning for living, but they eventually realize that causes a great insecurity. asuka is independent and can go anywhere she wants if she feels like it. from rei's pov, asuka desperately wants attention from men, something that rei could never give her. rei's afraid that asuka will leave them, & to tie asuka down they play the role of a villain. rei keeps asuka feeling insecure by becoming what asuka envisioned them as, and slowly starts hacking away at asuka's Achille's heel. rei desperately uses the short time that asuka has given them to engrain themself into her, so much so that asuka would be nothing without them. rei cannot let asuka realize her worth for fear that she would leave them. rei notices that asuka enjoys seeing them helpless and plays the part, almost like a honeytrap. slowly tho I believe that rei starts to take control of the relationship in hopes of making asuka dependent on them.

Asurei is in no way a wholesome relationship, and ik that’s not for everyone.. my vision of a happy end for them would be both of them becoming comfortable in their relationship and finding that the actions they once used to express hatred for themselves and each other is now slowly becoming fueled by love and desire for each other. They form a very unhealthy co-dependence on each other, but for them it works. They cant envision a world without the other in it.

[iconocon]

consequences of monaco | leclerc | 2

summary: can we even be fixed?

warnings: cheating, swearing, alcohol, those weird monaco rumors

part 1 part 3 part 4

word count: 2.1 k (i am in pain btw) | ⚔︎ ANGST

→

running out of that motorhome in a full sprint the last thing on your mind was the other people passing by in the paddock. knowing exactly what you looked like to them and also knowing exactly how bad it looked for charles yet you didn’t stop your feet instead you only picked up against the asphalt. you knew the media were gonna have a field day at the sight of the mascara pouring down in waves as you made your break for the parking lot. if you thought hard enough you could imagine the scandalous headlines now.

"longtime bff of scuderia driver in tears after p4 finish" or maybe even

"heartbreak in monaco? did leclerc finally cut her off?”

the media was not known for being sympathetic to your cause. they thrived in any way to initiate a witch hunt against you if even a toe stepped out of a PR-perfected box of the doting best friend. it seemed that even in your purest intentions you were still left with mountains of hate by people who didn't even know you or want to know you for that matter. the videos of you weaving between reporters giving driver interviews would create the start of a twitter speculation firestorm of what could have gone down in the short span of ten minutes to cause charles walking into the home to you sprinting out.

you had to pull yourself together, you had to breathe, and most importantly you had to get the fuck out of monaco. there weren't many places you could escape from the world at, but you did know where a certain french driver kept his spare keys so in the mess of your mind you knew the only obvious option was waiting for you in milan.

-

as you sat on a plane wallowing in your own self pity, licking your wounds, watching as the clouds raced by charles himself did not look much better. the room felt so much smaller and maybe even weirdly colder without your energy. his face staying hidden in his hands as he sat on the very same couch as you did earlier waiting for him to come back from his ruined race.

he couldn’t explain why he said those hurtful words or why he pushed you away like he did. coming to terms with your distancing relationship was as hard for him as it was for you, but it was easier to distract himself in other ways, other projects. even when he held all the power in the duo he wasn’t quite sure how to make it all easier. he would be completely stupid if he didn’t realize the way you looked at him. but he would also be completely stupid if he acted upon the irrational thoughts in his brain. which he had had often when it came to you. what if he loved you? he didn’t know if he loved you as you did him but he did know he couldn’t live without you in his life. the only aspect of his very public life that he was entirely too selfish with was you. he knew deep down that if you asked him to give up on whatever the two of you shared so you could move on to someone else, someone who deserved to love you, he couldn’t do it. he needed to be the shining pillar in your life there was no sharing option in his jealous-filled eyes but one thought took up every inch of his mind as he stared at the white-knuckled balled-up fist in his lap.

can we even be fixed?

⏤

milan - 6 hrs later

getting into pierre’s house was a little too easy. you would think that someone that made the amount of money he made that he would invest in some type of security other than a building that didnt even check your ID. in fact you didn’t even have to even go as far as to look for the key he kept under an eiffel tower floor matt that sat in front of his bachelor pad. as soon as you walked into the building the receptionist even looked at you strangely eyes scanning your frame also probably wondering how you managed to get in here, but thankfully she didn’t exactly ask that question because you weren’t sure if you could even tell her.

“do you need help?” it was almost ironic because yes, you needed a lot of it, switching from one foot to another to show your hesitation you nodded. “I’m a friend of pierre gasly’s?”

“gasly’s? one second”

where she went behind her posh little desk in the middle of the glass building you had no clue, all you knew is that it felt like it took forever for her to come back and when she did she was carrying a key.

“sorry for the wait he's kind hard guy to get ahold of” at the mention of the driver it was almost like clockwork for your phone to go off, speak of the french devil and he shall answer you suppose. the text sound blaring as you swap possession of the keys before getting a chance to even look at it.

don’t do anything i wouldn’t do ma colobmbe

if you weren’t so numb to your emotions you probably would’ve laughed at the dumb nickname he has called you since you were kids. the memory of you hitting a bird in your bright pink kart came rushing back pairing itself in the form of a smile as you knew you could always count on him to make you feel better.

walking into his flat, the smell of pierre's cologne almost made you audibly sigh but they also came along with thoughts that maybe you should’ve waited for him and asked him to run away with you. you knew if anyone would hold you and let you cry it out it was him. he wouldn’t even have to ask questions he would just know how to make it all stop hurting, but instead, you were alone in his empty apartment sitting now on his cloud-like gray-clad couch. the same one you helped him pick out when he got this apartment. once again you couldn’t help your wandering brain at the newfound comfort. some part of you wondered what charles was doing right now. was he sorry? was he out celebrating that he was finally free from you? did he mean everything that was said? eventually, the thoughts felt like they were eating you alive almost to the point where you knew you had to find out about his whereabouts. finding yourself instinctively clicking the blue app on your phone you were sucked into the whirlwind of rumors that was the world of formula 1.

“mexican driver cheats on his wife on party boat??”

“ricciardo married with a lil ricciardo on the way? read all about the wedding HERE”

“ferrari drivers single after fight in monaco club”

now that one caught your attention, automatically hovering over the expand button you found your eyes skimming over the different translations of the night. your name showing up often as you continued to scroll through the night. i mean it was no surprise after your temper tantrum earlier in the afternoon to be the topic of the thread. it read about how charles broke up with his girlfriend after she asked why you were crying in a very, heavily packed night club. next it read how carlos’ girlfriend joined in and it just turned into a big mess of conspiracies after that as respective fans put their two cents in. none of it really made any sense.

why would he fight with her about you? he showed all too well how much he didn’t give a fuck about what happened to you when he made you leave. out of pure frustration, you found yourself throwing that very same device you were hypnotized by flung into the nearby wall body sinking into the couch as the satisfying sound of it bouncing against the drywall was the last sound in the apartment for the night.

buZz brrrr

buZZZ brrr

the next sound in the dark italian apartment was this brutal buzzing sound waking you out of slumber.

god, your head was pounding.

BUZZ BRRRR

the sound only got louder as you stood up finally seeing the bright slightly shattered screen on the hard tiled floor from your spot in front of the couch. now you knew you shouldn’t answer. you saw perfectly well who was calling. you knew the karting photo like the back of your own hand but now in the eerie darkness, it was almost mocking you as you raised it to your ear.

“ROSE” the slur that came out above the blasting club music made you scrunch your nose in disgust at how drunk he sounded.

“talk and talk fast perceval”

“come onnnnn why can’t you just come bac-" the most unattractive hiccup broke up his sentence as he continued with his rant. "please come home I mis- im sorrrrry okay"

“I’m hanging up rig-“

“I love you rose” oof- there went the gut punch again. when did he get so good at knocking all the air out of your lungs? did he have some weird pain kink when it came to you, was he enjoying this? the desperation in his drunk voice was begging you to forgive him but once again you found yourself beating up your own mental psyche over your next steps. instead of making you sentimental and giddy, his words made you furious. this wasn't how you treated someone you loved, someone you cared about, the next words came out white-hot and like a faucet as they oozed out of your mouth.

“I really wished I believed you charles. I wish I could believe what comes out of your drunk mouth. you don’t know what love is and I’m sorry for trying to make you be something you aren’t just so I could keep you for even a second longer. I’ll never forgive myself for loving you”

“rose wait-“

the line disconnected as once again you found yourself crying sobbing mess because of your best friend breaking your heart off into its final piece. fingers moving fast against the keyboard you sent one final message before this time taking the time to turn off the device knowing you couldn't withstand the flurry of calls or text that would come next.

“please come home”

⏤

the arms around you were so warm, even familiar, that you sunk right into them, your face automatically finding the soft part of the stranger's neck. firm fingers wrapped around your thighs and back squeezing you tight against a chest as you wiggled in your sleep drunk state. those same arms left you as quick as they came as you were placed into a soft bed, instead of letting them go though, you cling harder to the warm body.

“ma colobmbe let go”

knowing only one person in the world who would dare call you that stupid nickname you suddenly realize why the stranger wasn’t such a stranger. the ocean blue eyes and messy hair were such a sight for sore eyes as somehow you cling even harder around the neck of your friend fingers digging into his tanned skin.

“tell me what to do, i’ll do anything to make it better”

without even thinking about the consequences of your own actions you surprised even yourself as your lips crashed into matching ones. you didn’t expect him to even kiss you back, actually, you don’t even think you expected anything at all from him. you definitely however did not expect him to kiss you back harder. the pair became heated quickly as both of you understood you needed anything but soft at that moment. teeth clashed together, bite marks lingered on freshly bruised flesh, and groans filled up silent air. as he finally gave up his pursuit and started attacking down your neck in an aggressive open-mouthed manner it left your mouth open to moan his name in his own ear.

“pierre- we should-“

“don’t ruin this for me” the tone in his thick french accent was anything but playful as his hand reached down between the two of your intertwined bodies snaking its way in between the waistband of your pants and the bright red ferrari shirt you picked out of your dresser just that morning. his actions did their job of shutting you up finding yourself now relaxing while his sweet nothings lured you into pure pleasure. you weren’t sure what the next day would bring but at that moment you decided it was your turn to be selfish. it was your turn to be taken care of.

⏤

ma colombe - my dove/pigeon in french I THINK

slightly happy ending?? slutty pierre strikes again thanks for all the love on curse of monaco i appreciate all the kind messages!

[gamblersdoll]

ITS THE MATTER OF IT … chapter 4

tw: mentions of busts, nasty things.

for a better reading experience, please listen to the following songs “i will possess your heart” by chained to the bottom of the ocean and “kaizoku” by ibaraki on spotify, apple music, or youtube. enjoy!

your heart was racing, but not out of fear.

not by anxiety, but by defense.

“its been a while, y/n.” sukuna said, how could he say that when you havent even met him before? “its been a while since ive seen that face.”

so this is what he kind of looked like. tattoos on his face made yuuji look rugged. but if you had to ruin it, then oh well be it. you should arm yourself, you had thought to yourself. it seemed like sukuna already understood it.

“theres no need to defend yourself, i already said you wouldnt be harmed unless you provoke me.” he chuckled, getting closer and examining you. his eyes felt like he would’ve devoured you, like a damn maniac. he more than likely would have if it was his thing or not.

“the only thing thats changed is your tits.” he said amused. he eyed them, licking his teeth as if wanted to bite them. you wouldve felt your face get hot from the king of curses talking about it….

but you didnt.

“what is it.” you meant to sound like a question was being asked, but because of your tone and demeanor it sounded like you were talking at sukuna, not to. luckily for you, he didnt catch onto that, instead he looked happy that you were at least speaking.

“you know what,” sukuna paused, lowering his gaze. “you surely dont think that i was just making an appearance to say hi, do you? or do you not believe you are the reinca-“

“–i am not some reincarnation!” you growled out, cutting him off. that shouldve been a mistake on your end, but for some reason he didnt care. “im just … me.” you trailed off.

“you look the same way you did a thousand years ago, little one.” he chuckled, practically in your face. you bet he only smelled decent since yuuji was decent with hygiene. “whether you like it or not, you are. eventually, youll grow happy that you are— or maybe just comfortable with the fact that you and i…” he took his finger and pointed back and forth between himself and you.

“we have history. whether the memories or knowledge comes to you, we do. and there isnt anything you can do.” he laughed, his pearly whites on display and he put his hands on your shoulders. “now that you are here though…”

“why didnt you say anything back then.” he asked, when the fuck did he have you cornered? this was bad, real bad.

“yes, because i completely remember what exactly happened during a thousand years ago.” you sarcastically said, rolling your eyes. “remind me of what happened with–“ you made air quotation marks with your fingers, “me and you?”

“we were close, you had feelings i guess yaddy yadda yadda.. you developed hanahaki disease, you died.” sukuna recalled, growing sarcastic as well. “why didnt you say anything to me?” he asked, growing serious again.

“realistically speaking, if i were to admit my feelings to you, you either wouldnt care, youd laugh in my face while laying down with another woman, or would just kill me and move on with your life.” you said in a matter of factly tone, he was a cursed spirit after all.

could he even experience love like emotions at all?

“you could be wrong, considering how strong you were before.” he said, which made your ears ring.

did this motherfucker call you weak?

“are you saying im weak?” you asked, planning to make a move, which could result in sudden death or a missing limb if he felt forgiving.

“not exactly, but since you are reincarnated, we never know if youre rusty or your strength depleted.” he said, taking several steps back. “if you land a blow on me, ill take back what i said, and ill settle with any conditions you may have for me.”

“and if not, then you have to accept that you are what people say you are, and youll have to work under me.” he said—

a challenge.

and a challenge that granted you authority in some areas.

…

…..

……

a challenge that seemed unrealistic!

you had been working your ass off to land a blow, not even bothering to use your domain. you were simply out of breath, your hair a mess from the constant movement.

“this isnt the beginning of you, y/n.” sukuna had said with his hands in his pockets. he was certainly worried you had lost your abilities over a thousand years, but he also thought you were always a teasing woman.

come on, y/n, think.

think, goddamnit, think!

would it.. work on him?

you ran towards him knowing he would throw his hit first—

until black particles floated in the air, forming in the shape of the human skeleton. sukuna’s eyes widen, focusing on the black matter in-front of him, bringing its fist back to throw a punch—

until he realized that you were also landing a blow into his abdomen, now having to deal with a blow in the face but also in his beloved stomach.

a reversed curse technique, is what made you, you. you could separate your soul from your body into black matter, allowing the soul to fight with you, along side of your original body. making you somewhat immortal, only in certain circumstances would it kill you.

only one knew of this technique… only one had done it successfully a thousand years ago, against sukuna, and won.

sukuna had looked away and spat, laughing at nothing. you had landed a blow– two matter of fact. he then looked at you, and smiled.

“what do you feel?” he asked, he knew you had to have felt it, too.

deja vu.

“ive… been here before.” you admitted, watching him smile the wicked grin he carried.

———

“so… what did you tell him?”yuuji asked, eating his burger on your bed that you specifically told him not to do. he had laid down plastic wrap around him though to not ruin your satin silk bedding, which you’d appreciated.

“he doesn’t cause mass destruction, him not killing anyone unless necessary, and how hed teach me some things since i had won.” you said, eating a chicken philly. yuuji had since learned you loved them, occasionally eating steak philly but preferring chicken. so, the boy had brought you one. what a sweetie.

“oh! well.. thats good— hey i think we should sleep, since nobara had planned for us to hang out tomorrow all day.” he reminded, getting up and leaning down to hug you.

when did you both decide to start hugs, was beyond you.

“goodnight!” yuuji said, waving at you and you only replying with a “night.” made him smile. only when he reached his bed was when it went down hill for him…

or uphill?

“can you please stop talking about it?” yuuji asked sukuna, sukuna had decided to breakdown what had happened with you and him. but sukuna was infact a perv— of course he was, hes a curse!

“you dont look at y/n and think about how deep you could go in that–“ yuuji had cut sukuna off,

“stop it!” yuuji had growled out at him, only causing sukuna to laugh uncontrollably at his little outburst. “shes more than that!”

“well of course she is, but you gunna sit here and tell me you wouldnt tap that?” sukuna had asked, growing curious. yuuji had stayed quiet, ignoring the question until he thought about you.

the way you said his name, the way you walk, how you didnt take anything, the way you eat…

the way your shirt would tighten around certain areas of your body, the length of your legs. he had let out a frustrated sigh. he would feel bad if he did anything like that to the thought of you, like he was the biggest perv in the world…

but did you think like that about him, too?

honorable tags: @lisaaannna @coldbreadbouquetworld all reposts and shares are appreciated to see more of my work!

…

…..

(chapter 2 of “THE WARM THE COLD THE SIX coming soon!)

[thedeafprophet]

hewwo I was just curious about your trio because I’m love them :0 I’ve seen some of your posts before about their childhoods and where they’re from, and I was wondering what their relationship was like before the present day. like, how did they meet (since from what I gather, they’re from different places)? how old were they? how did they end up becoming so important to each other? when/why was the break up?

I was just curious, feel free to ignore! or take this as an opportunity to just talk randomly about your guys if you’re in the mood for that, no need to answer those questions if they’re a lot! :) also sorry if you’ve posted about this before/recently and I missed it!

gasp...... im always delighted to have an oppurtunity to talk about my blorbos. im sure ive posted about this before - But i will happily summarize again. I did an overview on where each of them were from Here (as well as some talk on accents), and I have the basic overview of their individual backstories in their character summaries linked in my pinned post

this is long so im gonna put it under the cut oop. hope you dont mind an essay

Meeting and School Years

The story of their dynamics really begins as many dreaded childhoods begin: at school. They all were attending the same industrial school as kids/teens, which is where they met. (if you dont know what an industrial school was, they were basically a type of charity run boarding schools created for 'vagrant' children. as a girl's school they wouldve been taught Employable Skills alongside sewing and cooking and such, alongside regular School Stuff)

Jamie was initially there before the other two were, only being around when they were 12 and Josie was 10 that the two of them met, Josie having ended up being sent there some time after her brother died. Jamie had been heavily ostracized from their peers prior to this, so kind of latched onto Josie after they started talking as they, well, didnt really have any other friends. The balancing out of the overly energetic and talkative nature from Jam was also helpful for Josie in a way, giving her the time to adjust and talk on her own accords. Jamie had a habit of sneaking out of the school to wander off into the nearby woods to play, and eventually began inviting Josephine on those 'adventures', which had its highlights and its dangerous moments- kids stuff, yknow how it is.

About a year later, Alex ended up at the same school after being 'transfered' from a reformatory school, long since having already been involved in criminal areas as a kid. (at this point the ages are 15, 13, and 11 for Alex, Jamie, and Josie respectivly)

Alex ended up becoming friends with the other two sort of on accident, when he punched out another girl for bullying Jamie - even back then, he didnt take well to bullies - and subsequently took the fall for such an action. After that Jamie basically wouldnt leave him alone, and dragged him along into the friendship and introduced him to Josie.

The trio spent another couple years at the school, where they learned to balance around and support one anoher in this place that Kind Of Sucks. Alex had plans to leave and meant to break away from the place when he was 17, but the other two insisted on coming with him.

Teen and Adult years

To what im sure is no surprise, Alex basically planned to continue being involved in crime upon his leaving. The other two were a touch involved as well, so to speak, in the matters of surviving on their own. I generally imagine Alex's plan was to return to Birmingham, so thats likely where they ended up.

The rest of this part of the timeline is less specific, a collection of key points between now and the decent to the neath. Important things include Alex's 'pretending' to be a boy for easier access into some spaces stop being pretending, and officially starts to go by Alex. The other two are pretty much okay with it . Jamie starts being involved with artsy groups and eventually gets a job at a theater - it is here they first meet their future ex. Josephine pursued further less typical education outside of the school, before her want to seek answers about personal matters overweighed that desire to just learn things.. and a whole bunch of other things, like Joise returning to Liverpool to seek answers there, Alex becoming more and more tied up in criminal activities (and arson) on the surface, Jamie playing games of copy get to try and climb higher (alongside burgeoning worsening mental health problems but thats another story).

So suffice to say - a lot of time and a lot of things occured. how did they end up becoming so important to each other? well, it was simply a matter of time and the commitment of having only a couple people you can rely on in a world that otherwise cares little for you. Build up of connection, and a support of friendship.

It was the same reason their dynamic ended up falling apart.

Ive talked before on how I don't really know how to qualify their relationship; its not romantic (especially considering the younger years), but its not entierly platonic. There's defiently familia aspects to it, but I wouldnt say they're directly siblings or such (though Jamie def has middle child syndrome lmao). Its a kind of found family relationship that doesn't quite fit within the expectations of expected dynamics.

The 'break up' so to speak wasnt neccearily because of one specific reason. When you have three young adults all in closed spaces, each dealing with their own issues, none having learned how to properly communicate..... well, when the foundation begins to crack, eventually the building is going to topple.

There was no 'final deciding argument' but rather many small ones, over long periods of time. conversations becoming less easy, time together less friendly. what once brought great joy and support instead brought feelings of tension and hurt. Some bends to the foundation simply become to great to support the weight, and it was a slow crumble, day by day.

The final descion to come to the neath was still based on one another, especially as Josie planned to leave one way or another to track down her brother's killer, and by all accounts they still came together. But by then the dynamic had already become fragile, and it would never quite be what it was again.

Sometimes thats just what happens when you grow up, and the people you love and the cricumstances change. Sometimes things just dont work anymore. Perhaps they never truly did.

[flyingspicerack]

hey guys, this is very hard for me to talk about and bring up, but ive talked to a few people about it in priv already, and I think im ready to publicly talk about it...

When i joined the ososan fandom back in March, it was a bit... dead? And i was trying to grasp at straws, trying to find people to connect to, trying to make some friends, and came upon one person who I seemed to mesh with really well. She posted a lot about a big server she had full of people to talk about her content with and I was at first wary to join (i dont like big servers) but did so anyway. However, as I was wary, the two of us stayed in DMs for quite a while, in addition to me being in the big server as well. This person was equally reciprocating conversation with me, with equal excitement, with equal interest to the subject matter. I believe everything is going fine, them and I, i think, are becoming closer friends, she invited me to a smaller group run by someone else, things are good for a couple weeks. Im showing up and watching art streams, sure, im a little awkward, its a new group of people and I have adhd and am very neurodivergent (to which she claims she is as well) so i'm a bit... weird or whatever, but who isnt??

Then, I'm pulled aside, im pulled into a smaller group chat with this person and two 'mediators' to which this person proceeds to tear into me, telling me that i make her uncomfortable, that im being codependent with her (bitch the 'co' in 'codependency' implies ur reciprocating but claimed i was the only problem), i put her up on a pedestal, says our age gap is weird, etc. (I have screenshots of the whole 'confrontation' if ppl want to see it) and i was terrified... She never indicated prior to this that I was making her uncomfortable... I thought i was doing everything correctly, i thought i was being a friend, i thought we were equally excited to hang out with one another?

So, from this, because of this, this bitch fucking traumatized me. She had me believing, and still trying to unlearn, that i am annoying, that i am a nuisance, that im a bother to everyone that i come around, she destroyed my self esteem and destroyed how i try to make friendships because i am SO SCARED all the time now... that one of you is going to turn around and tell me that I put you on some kind of pedestal, that im being annoying and bothering you all too much, its why i disappeared the other day because i got scared i was posting too much, that i got scared that i was ... doing something wrong...

So... ok now that im in it, writing this, excuse my lack of composure for the rest of this post, i tried to hold it but now im getting angry

SO FUCKING MEANWHILE THIS BITCH, talking about codependency and age gaps in friendships, her two 'lackeys' apparently were her ONLY friends during like 4 years of her life (codependent hippocracy) AND she was into ososan from the beginning when she was like fucking 14, and one of her lakeys is OLDER than me at 29 AND WAS FRIENDS WITH HER WHEN SHE WAS 22 AND THIS BITCH WAS 14 SO you're gonna sit here and tell me that OUR age gap is weird when THAT SHIT is going on????????????????????? And fucking- PUTTING you on a fucking PEDESTAL?? when YOU are the one who is the OVERLORD of this fucking server you have with like 50+ peons, AND you have this nasty ass notification in the server to alert EVERYONE when someone leaves to which is kinda creepy and controlling??

Anyway i responded scared out of my mind and backed off... she didnt want to cut me out, just limit conversation and take me out of the smaller knit circle and we could still be friends, but obviously this freaked me out and i didnt talk to her much after that.... ANYWAY so this person THEN has the audacity to reach out to me a month or so later and is like 'hey... we haven't talked much and i think something might have happened between us? are we ok? you're really distant" and then i fucking laid into her cause i had the month to think on it...

If any of this behavior sounds familiar to you, its bc the person 'in charge' is known as Ava, or pinklemonfruit here on tumblr, and one of her lackeys? Lovenu, who im pretty sure a lot of you already know of... theres another one, her name is emmy, her username here i believe is lichenqueen and was the other 'mediator' i have been told by one source that they potentially could be lying about their age, but take this with a grain of salt bc i have no proof of this

I unfortunately dove right into this when i came into the fandom bc i didn't know any better, i didn't know that these people were bad and caused problems back in the day... but now im aware and i need everyone else who may interact with them to know that they are not good people and have hurt me personally. They have caused me trauma that I am trying really hard to get over but i fear its going to take a long time...

This is MY personal story and account of interactions with these people and I will continue to believe what I know from personal experience. If you come to me, trying to defend any of these people or try to make light of this situation, you will no longer be allowed to associate with me. This fucked me up, and I will not compromise on this, you will no longer feel safe to be around if you condone how these people treated me. If you do not believe my words, then fine, but i will no longer desire company from people who will condone this type of treatment that I had to endure and have been suffering through the aftereffects of.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my story and im sorry if it ended up too personal at all. But, I really hope those that read this will... understand my timid behavior? Why im ALWAYS saying sorry? Why im always so scared in group setting like aggies, why im always so apprehensive and timid and keep thinking people are lying to me about really liking having me around? Its because of this, this is truly and horribly messed up to do to someone... making them feel so low and horrible about their existence ...

if you have any questions, i am willing to answer them...

[halinski]

Another thought for when you're awake but: in 1x04 when Derek has wolfsbane poisoning and it's portrayed EXACTLY the same as sensory overload is always portrayed and I think that's when the possibility of Stiles becoming his anchor was first seeded, like his brain latched onto him like "this one = safe" "this one will do anything for you, even cut your arm off if you only ask him". JUST. THESE TWO.

!!!

i just keep thinking in general werewolves = a lot like neurodivergents or autistics, bc spd is a lot like the heightened senses. I related to that soooooo much back when i watched in my teens without even realizing how much the spd impactdd me and what it was exactly. Just like, whenever they were distracted by sounds, bc they hear everything at once, pencils scratching and everyone's conversations at once, even someone talking outside, and then theschool bell is so shrill it fucking HURTS

or when you're having a meltdown and the only way to make it through is to resort to pain to somehow manage it, bc you're already in mental agony

the werewolfness is such a natural part of you, just like autism, and it allows Derek and the wolves to connect to the world in such an innate way like you said. It's without words, without a concrete human way to explain it, and that's what it feels like autistically when you non-verbally experience the world and you don't catergorize or see the world in human structures or classifcations but rather auras (a word i believe they later used in the show) where everything has a sense attached to it and you exeprience it in some other way and i believe i'm the one not making sense rn bc i just can't find the words for these things - it's just soemthing to FEEL

and i think thats what it was with stiles and derek

that's why they didnt need words

that's why we sterek shippers never needed words to understand them

why we watched them look at each other and went

THAT! THAT RIGHT THERE

because it's an understanding between words. An understanding as if between two creatures with hackled raised, wounded, who realize they're fighting a common enemy, and sharea vommon language

and that language can just be by gaze alone, and somehow snark, biting tongues and rough edges

and if Derek can be his stoic soirwolf self with his biting sarcasm and heal himself and Stiles goes from "this will cause me nightmares" (about to cutt off his arm) to "that was awesome!!" (after watching the bullet wound heal)-- well Derek knows he doesn't have to hide his rough edges from him. He doesn't have to his the black bile and blood and pain, or the way he can't force smiles or be a functioning member of society for Stiles to consider him worth saving and fighting for. Stiles cares anyway. Stiles will fight for him anyway. Stiles understands

and god does that fucking matter

bc who else stands up for derek after laura dies?

Over and over again

*insert elevator gif where stiles is saving derek with derek looking vulnerable*

and cue the soft lighting

and how we get super soft lighting every time stiles is there to save derek

ESPECIALLY in the scene where Stiles saves Derek in his "daydream" when Kate comes back and shoots derek in the chest

[bratzs12345]

working on sec scenes lmk what you think

Levi knocked on the door to the house. Though he has had a long history with the house, he didnt find himself to be nervous as he stood on the patio waiting for the door to open. His anger quickly shifted to irritation seeing Eren opened the door with an irritated look on his face that quickly melts away when he sees Levi.

“Hey babe,” he greeted with a knowing smirk on his face.

“Shut up,” Levi brushed past him, into the house. “Where’s Mikasa?”

The inside of the Den hadn’t changed much since he had last been there.

Connie and Sasha sat on the couch playing Call of Duty, while they passed a joint between themselves. The only thing that had changed since the last time was that it was less messy.

“Who cleaned?” Levi asked the group.

“I did,” Eren answered. He saw the look of hesitance on Levi’s face and chuckled. “What do you think those two stepped up to do it?” He pointed at Sasha and Connie who had gotten caught up in a tug of war for the controller. Levi shook his head and began to head upstairs towards Mikasa’s room.

“Wait,” Eren called. Levi rolled his eyes and looked Eren in his annoyingly handsome cool green eyes, “How about after you and Mikasa finish up whatever you have going on, you and I get out of here and grab a bite? On me?”

“Drop dead.” Levi deadpanned as he continued up the stairs, ready to create some distance between him and the younger Yeager.

“I wouldn’t go up there,” Eren warned. The playful tilt in his voice irritated Levi so much. He kept walking up the stairs, away from his voice.

The second floor of the house was quiet, it always was. No one without proper clearance was let up here. Luckily, Levi and Mikasa’s relationship with Carla had always gotten them access. Levi ruminated on the last time he caught someone on the second floor of the Den. That did not end pretty.

The door at the end of the hall called out to him. He ignored it and walked past knowing he couldn’t handle another walk down memory lane at the moment. The third door to the right was naked except a pink neon sign lit up that said “BEWARE! KEEP OUT!” meaning not much had changed about Mikasa’s room either.

He grabbed the door handle, peaked his head in, and immediately regretted not listening to the sign.

Annie sat on top of a half naked Mikasa with her legs spread, framing the latter’s torso. The blonde’s blouse had previously been removed, revealing a dark pink bra cupping her smaller breasts. She rubbed the tops of her nipples and let out a moan as she grinded on top of the younger Ackermann.

Annie moved her hands up and down Mikasa’s chest, making the girl breathe even quicker. Mikasa hands we balled into fists, trying her hardest to keep them at her sides.

“Come on,” Annie said, as she pushed Mikasa’s face into her chest. “Give up.”

Finally, the younger’s Ackermann’s resolve wore thin. Mikasa unballed her fists and bagan exploring the blonde’s beautiful body. Her hand danced along the seam of her panty line. She bit her lip as she watched her girlfriend play with herself on top of her. Her finger nearing close to lover’s wet folds. Her finger moved in up and down until it delved under the fabric, massaging pussy lips.

Annie let out a moan. “Mika~”

Levi had seen enough

He turned around and slammed the door, face on fire. If there was one image he wished he could erase from his mind, it would be that one. As a matter of fact, he wishes he could go back in time and make sure it never happened.

A few moments later, Mikasa came out still buttoning up her top. She looked irritated at her cousin interrupting the only day off she’s had in weeks.

Levi cut right to the chase, “How long?”

“Four or five years.” She responded nonchalantly, as if she had been waiting for this moment.

Though he knew it wasnt true, he had to ask. “Is Annie why you joined the Scouts?”

“Not, exactly,” She admitted nervously as she ran her hands through her hair. “I was trying to tell you when I first got here. Theres more to this place, Levi. The Scouts were the first place I was ever welcomed. Its the only place I really feel like I belong.”

After Mikasa’s speech, there was a beat of silence between the two of them. It was then Levi realized that this was the first time the two of them really talked about their feelings. Their parents’ accident had stunted a lot of their emotional growth. There was no time to focus on feelings when you had to survive.

Levi thought it was only right to break the silence with an admission of his own. “I’m glad its her.”

There was another long pause as the two avoided eye contact. The air between them was still thick with tension. They still had a lot to talk about, but something tells Levi now wasn’t the best time.

“Me too.” . It was then Levi decided that he would take all the progress he could get. Though he was curious, he didn’t want to ask about what went down with Eren. He believed Annie and Mikasa had something special. It was solid. And, it was time he believed her when he said it was over. He should and wouldn’t be worried about them getting back together anytime soon.

“And before you ask, Eren and I are not getting back together,” She said, knowing where the conversation was bound to steer. “Ever. Obviously.”

He nodded his head and looked toward the closed door. “Guess you want to be getting back?”

She just looked at him for a second. It might have been a look of shock. There weren’t many things the two can agree on or even agree to differ on.

“Text me, later,”he said.

After receiving a nod, Levi began to head down the stairs, back into the living room.

“Find what you were looking for?”, Eren asked. He sat on the arm chair since Connie and Sasha were still duking it out on the couch. He lazily drank from the beer in his hand, obfiously checking Levi out as he descended the stairs.

Levitried to ignore his stare and walk out the door, but of course, the other man decided to follow. He had to resist the urge to roll his eyes once again hearing approaching footsteps. Though he had looked forward to relaxing and scrubbing this traumatizing night out of his mind, it seems fate has other plans. And, the worst part was, he could already see where this would be going. Eren would flirt and try to fuck him; Levi punches him in the nose; he gets upset; they call it a day. It’s a day that repeats over and over and over again, and frankly, he’s sick of it. .

“Levi! Wait!” Eren called from behind him. “Can we talk for a minute?”

He rolled his eyes at Eren’s suggestion, “What’s there to talk about?”

“Look, I know things between you and Zeke ended badly-”

“Who told you that?” Levi asked in irritation. However, Eren was on a roll

“But, I think you’re letting your past with him,” He hesitstated before continuing. “…come between us?”

“Us?” If Levi wasnt confused before…

“Stop skirting around it.” Eren contested. “There’s something special here. I know you feel it.”

Levi’s mind blanked. Out of all the things in the world for Eren to say, this is not what he was expecting. For some reason, he had thought all thoses passes and flirtatious comments was Eren’s way of getting under his skin. He hadn’t actually thought he was…serious. And now that he knews he is serious, things are gonna get 100 times harder.

“Are you serious?” He dumbly asked.

“Levi!” Eren grabbed his arm tightly and shook him. “Please give me a chance. I can make this work-”

“Eren.”

“You’ve never had anyone as good as me baby I promis-”

Before he could finish that statement, Levi cut him off. He couldn’t listen to this. And, he definitely couldn’t deal with this now.

“Eren!” he shouted. “I’m not interested.”

The younger man’s eyes darkened, “Fine.”

It took a few more seconds for Eren to loosen his grip. The entire time, he just stared deep behind Levi’s eyes, into the pits of his soul. Seeing the look behind his eyes, Levi knew this wasn’t over. Far from it. But, at the same time, he didn’t care. He just wanted to walk home without looking back or even thinking about Eren Yeager.