#no offense if you still like 2012. i do. but most people still posting stuff are insane leo x karai stans n shit . idk. i dont wanna attract

[lesbian-octoling]

tmnt headcanons??? 👀👀👀👀👀

[animentality]

Thoughts on this post?:

https://www.tumblr.com/animentality/64152073250/abc-newsman-proves-danger-of-allowing-transgender?source=share

thanks for reminding me to delete that post I made in literally 2013 when I was 15 because it doesn't reflect who I am as a person anymore.

is this supposed to be a gotcha?

are people supposed to be born woke?

I am amazed you managed to even find this post with like 6 notes, where I legitimately asked people for their opinion on the subject because I was unsure about it and I had certain taught biases that I hadn't learned to abandon yet.

it might amaze you to know that I once told a guy he'd make a great wife when he mentioned he liked cooking.

this was in 2012.

how cisheteronormative of me, right?

but you were all so woke in 2012, weren't you?

you never said anything that was not PC as a teenager.

you never told edgy jokes or said stupid offensive things.

you were born perfect, I'm sure.

it's not like I'm proud of the dumb stuff I said.

but I didn't start identifying as nonbinary until I was 18, and I didn't start identifying as trans until I was 21.

I was raised by an older mother, not a gen x er or a millennial, but a baby boomer, whose inherent biases still sometimes surface in me when I least expect it.

I was raised Catholic.

I had JUST STARTED PUBLIC SCHOOL, after spending literally 6 years in a fucking Catholic school.

I DIDNT UNDERSTAND transgender issues, nor did most people in 20 fucking 13.

how the fuck could I

my mom to this day doesn't know what the fuck nonbinary or trans are, and I identify as both.

how was I supposed to know?

I'd never even met anyone in the LGBT community at that point, nor had I realized I belonged there either.

I literally didn't even know I was pan at that point, or that I was nb/trans myself, or how I felt about most political topics.

that's why I ASKED.

and I said the wrong things. yeah, I did.

but no one had taught me the right words.

and in that post, no one bothered to explain it to me either.

I had to learn that over time.

and guess what?

I'm still not perfect now. I'm still going to make mistakes because times change, as they always do.

and all we can do is try and forgive people who are trying and doing their best, and remaining open minded to things they don't understand right from fucking birth.

but by all means, do search my history to your hearts content.

honestly, I kinda wanna see what dirt you find because this was an interesting look at the kinds of things I thought in 2013.

I can look back at myself and see how far I've come.

this post was interesting to read for me because it was wildly off mark, it misgendered trans women, and it lacked political, historical, and social understanding...

and so?

yeah?

it's offensive. it's bad.

and I didn't know any better.

but lol.

people learn things. people change their opinions.

if you people spend all your time digging up dirt and trying to cancel people for who they were, rather than who they are, or who they're trying to be... I have news for you.

your existence is pointless and your efforts are meaningless.

but I am flattered you did such a deep dive, anon.

please do find more and send them to me.

I'd like to know what other gotchas you can yank out of my ass.

I used to be on Facebook in 2011 before I deleted it in like 2013.

see if you can find anything there.

I used to write cringy poetry. it might be funny to read now.

[13eyond13]

Hi I noticed you have been in the deathnote fandom for a long time. Do you know some changes the fandom/ships went through? I already know that the misogyny towards misa used to be terrible

Thanks 🙏

Hi! Yes, I've been here a long time lmao So from what I can recall things have actually stayed pretty remarkably the same when it comes to the popularity of the ships and dynamics in this series. Lawlight has always been the most popular ship, followed closely by M2 (Matt x Mello). However back in the mid/late 2000s it was different in terms of certain things, like the way the ships were referred to. For example, there was no such thing as a nickname for a ship as a whole back then - you didn't call it "Lawlight," you called it either "L/Light" or "Light/L." You had to specify which of the two you liked as the top by putting their name at the start of the pairing. They were treated almost like they were two entirely different ships, and people would definitely get upset if you weren't terribly careful about specifying this when posting shippy fics and things. This changed sometime between 2009-2012, maybe? Possibly around when "Brangelina" and celebrity couple nicknames like that became a thing in pop culture, lol. I am personally glad things are no longer this fussy about labeling and defining the ships, because I find it dumb and possibly a bit offensive towards gay folks to be that obsessive about their bedroom dynamics above all else. But I definitely still see people get very particular about their preferences for this stuff when it comes to their discussions of the ships these days too, so I might be the odd one out here. Overall I'd say tolerance towards diversity of the pairings and appreciation of the more minor characters has increased? Stuff like pairing L with Matsuda or having het ships like B x Naomi wasn't terribly common back then, from what I remember. People won't hate on you and fight with you as much for daring to enjoy depicting the characters with somebody other than their fave in a story or a piece of art nowadays, either (like "how dare you pair L with somebody other than Light!" - this was a very common thing to hear back in the early fandom days, and people would often act like you were "cheating" on a character by shipping them with somebody other than the character they decided they belonged with.) And fans have also started showing more appreciation for the female characters and attempting to be more inclusive toward them than they used to be. There is a bit less hatred of characters like Near and more shipping of him now as well. Many people were extremely dismissive of him back in the day, and he has definitely grown in popularity over time.

In general I think the fandom has chilled out and diversified and become more tolerant and deeper and more accurate with the characterization in its discussion of the series overall, but I still often will see the exact same takes and trends and tastes and arguments going on now as I used to see back in 2008. Especially when I step outside of the Tumblr bubble and back into a broader/more casual group of fans talking about the series and their faves.

[speckle-meow-meow]

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔!

★∻∹⋰⋰ ☆∻∹⋰⋰ ★∻∹⋰⋰ ☆∻∹⋰⋰★∻∹⋰⋰

Edit: 2023 June 14th

*#1: NSFW is gonna be a no sorry it makes me a bit uncomfy but dirty jokes and mentions will be in some writing depends

*rule #2: if you ask for a request, don't expect it to be out that same day or within the hour. I'm probably procrastinating or to busy depends, don't be rude to other anons and their requests etc. Requests are always open unless said

*rule #3: no incest please 🚫. I can do platonic

*#4: you can ask questions bit not personal ones and if it doesn't seem personal but I still don't want to answer please don't be pushy or I will shut down my request page and you will ruin it for everyone.

*#5: no hate on my posts please

*#6 I will do poly like character x reader x character no ships this is a character x reader blog, sorry❤

★∻∹⋰⋰ ☆∻∹⋰⋰ ★∻∹⋰⋰ ☆∻∹⋰⋰★∻∹⋰⋰

The mᥱ᥆ᥕ-ძ᥆ms:

Black butler

MHA or bnha

Bna

Resident evil games

Batman games

Dc

Marvel

Dark deception

Tssm

USM (ultimate spiderman)

Some things wrong with sunnyday jack

John doe

House hunted

Red dead redemption 2

Rottmnt

2012 tmnt

Fnaf

Disney villains

Twisted wonderland

Repo! The genetic opera

The evil within (first one I have yet to play the second one )

The devil in me

Genshin impact (I'm not so good with the lore so please forgive me)

Cuphead (I'm in and out of the fandom)

Ducktales

Darkwing duck

Supernatural (though I'm only on season 6)

Undertale (most aus

Deltarune

iZombie

Bee and puppycat

Arcane

HxH

Some slashers (Hannibal 1991, Pennywise 1990 & 2017)

Hocus pocus 1 & 2

Hazbin hotel

Helluva boss

Ps4 spiderman

Btas

Ghostbusters

The real Ghostbusters

People busters

Nope

Welcome home

Owl house

Most cartoon Network cartoons (just ask me if I've seen em and if I have I'll write for what ever character!)

Those are the fandoms for now, I most likely will update it later on, but for now this is it.

★∻∹⋰⋰ ☆∻∹⋰⋰ ★∻∹⋰⋰ ☆∻∹⋰⋰★∻∹⋰⋰

I can do genderbends

Romantic, platonic, & friendship stuff I can do as well

Yandere content I will do but I might not be amazing at it

I can do most readers but it really depends on the reader I'm doing, if I say I can't/won't be able to do it PLEASE don't take any offense by it I either don't know how to write that reader or just don't have any experience with it so forgive me.

Head cannons, one shots, imagine, scenarios etc

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

[thisaintascenereviews]

Justin Timberlake - Man Of The Woods

Justin Timberlake has had an interesting few years, whether he’s been involved with the Trolls movies, or just touring nonstop, but after six years, he’s putting out a new record. The album’s called Everything I Thought It Was, and he released the single “Selfish,” which is a nice little “throwback” to his early 00s sound, but not quite as “experimental” as FutureSex / LoveSounds. It’s a smooth R&B / pop song, but it sounds like he’s in a good place. It seems like a lot of people love the song, and it debuted in the top 20 of the Hot 100, so that’s a good sign. With that said, I wanted to revisit JT’s last album, 2018’s Man Of The Woods, ultimately wanting to see if the album has aged well, because I remember it being successful when it came out, yet its critical consensus was more so mixed. The album did well on the charts, and he sold a lot of copies of it, but no one’s really talked about this album since its release. Let’s change that, shall we? Justin Timberlake is one of my all time favorite artists, especially I listened to FutureSex / LoveSounds back in 2012 for the first time, and it was one of the first pop albums I listened to that I fell in love with (which made me realize that pop music has a lot of merit behind it). I also really loved his 2013 comeback album, The 20/20 Experience (which I like more, but that’s a discussion for another day), so Man Of The Woods had a lot to prove.

I’ve been looking at my old posts about the album, because it came out around this time in 2018, and even looking at my first review of it, this album was one of those that took some time to grow on me. Man Of The Woods is a record that takes more simplistic forms of music, such as soul, funk, R&B, pop, and Americana / folk to make for an amalgamation of Timberlake’s sound. He wanted to have a sound that best represents his native Tennessee, as a lot of other styles of music exist other than country exist in the south. This album is definitely his most “simplistic,” because its songwriting isn’t very expensive, experimental, or as interesting in comparison to his last couple of albums, but I would make the argument that this album has aged relatively well, especially in an era when genres are being blurred. This album is a lot of sounds at once, and in a few cases, the album combines some of these sounds together, such as a few songs having an R&B meets folk sound, but it works. This album isn’t perfect, mind you, but it has its moments that I really like. Chris Stapleton pops up for the big single “Say Something,” and that song still sounds great all of these years later, and songs like “Sauce,” “Midnight Summer Jam,” “Wave,” and a few other tracks, are a ton of fun. The album slows down a bit, too, especially on tracks like “Flannel,” “The Hard Stuff,” and “Young Man,” and those are a few of my favorite tracks. They’re more of the emotional epicenter of the album, as this record’s main theme is family, whether it was to celebrate his son or his wife.

Where this album works is in the music itself, and the instrumentation, but the album falters a bit with two things — the lyrics and the length. The lyrics aren’t horrible, or anything close to that, but JT was never known as being a lyricist. Both FutureSex / LoveSounds and The 20/20 Experience aren’t well-regarded for their lyrical prowess, but they have their moments, as this album does, too, but a lot of the lyrics just aren’t interesting, or they’re downright forgettable. That wouldn’t be too much of an issue it the album was shorter, because there isn’t a lot that he’s saying, let alone even doing, so this album didn’t need to be an hour and six minutes. It’s as long as his other albums, but this should have been around 40 minutes, give or take, as that would have trimmed a lot of the fat. This album isn’t bad, or offensive, in any way, and that might be another issue with it: it’s too sanitized and simplistic. On one hand, I like that, because it’s a very pleasant and accessible album, but it doesn’t push any boundaries, or do anything unique, so it’s almost like, “What’s the point?”

I don’t know, I’m a sucker for his stuff, so it doesn’t bug me as much, and JT has a great voice, so I really enjoy this album. I’d say revisit this album if you haven’t listened to it in awhile, because it’s held up rather well, especially if you’re a fan of his. It’s nothing revolutionary, and the album does have some filler, but it’s a lot of fun, and JT does sound great throughout. I’d say this is his most underrated album. It has some merit to it, even though a lot of people have thrown it under the bus or just forgot about it. I’m really excited for his new album, Everything I Thought It Was, especially if it has the same sound as the new single. I love its smooth R&B sound, and it seems to be more on brand for him than his last album. Man Of The Woods was both an experiment and his most accessible album to date, and that could be why the album didn’t perform as well as it should have. I was sort of conflicted on it when I first listened to it again for the first time in years, but you know what? I love this album, warts and all. I’ll take any JT, and aside from the second part of The 20/20 Experience that I honestly forget about, saying that this is his weakest album still isn’t bad, because it has its moments that I really enjoy.

[ao-21]

BARE WITH ME. This is going to be very long and I am writing this at midnight.

this is the first fic I have written and probably the only fic I will ever write, I needed to get this out of my system.

I have been thinking about this for a while and this is just basically gonna be the full back/life story of Will Solace that I headcannon.

So let's start at the beginning:

Naomi Solace mother of Will Solace as per the books is a country singer and it was said that she was a kind hearted person as was stated in the trails of apollo (I don't remember which book specifically, but it was stated). This is unfortunately all we know about her.

In my head- while the toa is happening(around 2012-2013)- Naomi is basically as famous as Beyoncé, Whitney, Brittany Spears molded together -and just as talented as amazing as them) and is basically a household name.

So as per my previous post when I did the timeliness of events for the series, let's say Will was born in 1995 which would make him 15 during the trials of Apollo (I know in my timeline post I said he would be 16 but I have decided to bump him done an age because of how old Nico would have been and people had a problem with him being so much older).

So in 1995 Will was born in early September maybe late August to keep in time the birthday the Fandom came up for him.

This means Naomi and Apollo would have met in November/December of 1994. At this point in time Naomi is 23 and and just released her third country album and it was a big hit and quite popular.

They met at a charity event were they both are going to perform on stage. When it is Naomi's turn to perform Apollo is totally blown away by how talented and amazing she is, and he has to met her. They met stuff happens blah blah blah and it ends in a onenightstand, and they never see each other again until after Will is born.

Naomi is the daughter of grandma Solace and Granpa Solace (I don't care enough to give them actually names and I will be referring to them as such) she is the middle child in a family of nine siblings, yes nine -this would make her child number 5- and she is very close to all her siblings but she is the closest to Anna(child number 4), as there is only 10 months age difference between them and their practically twins.

Anna Solace is a transgenger woman who came out to her family when she was 13 and was met with acceptance and love and support from her parents and siblings and was allowed to transition asap. She is ace/aro and perfectly happy being single and child free but she still spoils her neices and nefews and she is Wills godmother. She is a fashion designer and the ceo of a big company that is 100% vegan, animal cruelty free, and practices humain treatment towards all workers who are paid liveable wage of I don't know 20$ an hour(I don't know how money works in America) plus they all get free paid for health care for them and their families.

Grandma Solace is the only daughter of a family of 5 children. And because she was the only girl with 4 brothers in the early 1900s she was not given an education and she was basically mistreated by her brothers and her father. I'd like to say they had a poorish family and where underprivileged so they didn't really have much. Then came into their lives Grandpa Solace who came from a wealthy family (handsomely rich family) who would so to school with one of Gran Solaces brother and he basically fell head over heels in love with gran Solace the first time they met.

Grandpa Solace is the sole surving child of the Solace family as his sister died from offing herself and his identical twin brother, Andrew(this is important later) was murdered by a bunch of the guys from his school when they were 19 because Andrew was gay. And thus leaving Grandpa Solace the sole inheriter of the Solace family riches.

When gran and gramps got married and had kids they decided to raise all there kids to be accepting and kind toward all people regardless of their skill color sexuality and gender and be open and welcome to lgbtq+ people because Grandpa Solace saw how all the homophobia from his parents and the community had a negative affect on his twin brother and he didn't want his kids to live in pain and suffer the way his brother suffered.

Nine kids later and they have taught all there children to be accepting loving kind people, even though they had lived in Texas for basically ever.

Child 1- boy, born a year after his parents got married, never marries however he is a 'player' and has live five daughters all from different mothers the oldest being 23 during toa and the youngest 5. He is a history professor at Harvard University.

Child 2- a housewife with 3 kids however she is a lawyer but decided when her kids were born to be a stay-at-home-mom but she still works part time as a lawyer on the side. Married a man who would be your typical himbo dad

Child 3- gynecologist who specializes in helping transgender youth, she is the first practicing female gynecologist in America. Has 2 kids, a lesbian and lives with her girlfriend as gay marriage is not legal as yet.

Child 4- Anna Solace, transwoman, ace/aro, she was explained above.

Child 5- Naomi Solace, country singer, one kid, married- will be explained later in more detail.

Child 6- architect, married, 4 kids (a man)

Child 7- boy, dentist, lives with girlfriend one kid.

Child 8- studying to be a brain surgeon, unmarried, no kids, nonbinary

Child 9- Jonathan Solace, born in 1991, boy, he is gay, just started his first year of collage during toa, gas a boyfriend , no kids.

January 1995, Naomi finds out she is pregnant, goes all out and plans everything she is going to teach her child when they are born by making binders of everything from cooking and baking to how to drive to cleaning etc. Incase she dies when her child is young, they will be prepared for anything.

When she is five months pregnant, she met's this guy who is a British actor and like a cross between Chris Hemsworth, Ryan renalds, and just basically the perfect, most polite handsome man, manly because he is pansexual, and falls in love at first site when he met's her at an awards show and they become friends.(p.s. his name is Jeremy)

2 months after they met, and Naomi is 7 months pregnant, he asks her out on a date, and they later get married when Will is three.

When her pregnancy is announced to the fans,it's kinda implied that Jeremy is Wills father, and while he knows he is not, his name is on Wills birth Certificate and he was there when he was born, he treats Will as if he is his own child and he loves Will.

So august/september 1995, Naomi had a girl who she named AuroraSolace, but she did raise her child to know what transgender and nonbinary is so if her child wanted to be referred to by another name or different pronouns they knew it was okay.

So when aurora was 4 years old, she told her mom that she wants to be referred to as a boy and called another name Naomi and their whole family were supportive and welcoming about it, and he was thus named William Andrew Solace, after Naomis favorite poet William wordsworth and his grandfather's twin brother Andrew, as he was the first grandson of the family. ( I'm sorry if this doesn't really make sense, i hope you understand what I was trying to say,about this whole Will being trans, I didn't mean to offend anyone, or say something that was offensive as I am cisgender and do not actually know what it is like ,sorry)

So Will is transgender, and gay (I know another of people headcanon hom to be bi but I've seen so many relashinships where one was gay and the other was bi(and there's nothing wrong with that I myself am bi) but I've just seen too much of it that I just want two gay boys)

End of part 1 I'll finish part two later because I'm tired and I have a headache and it's like nearly 1 in the morning.

[thepriceofbeingaroseisloneliness]

TOSHIYA AT JOE YOKOMIZO CHANNEL 4TH FEB TRANSLATION/NOTES 4/4

Joe Yokomizo Channel

Guest: Toshiya (Dir en grey)

Notes before reading: This is the translation/notes of the livestream on Joe’s Niconico channel with Toshiya as a guest last 4th February.  This is part 4. The livestream was one hour and fifty min approx. This part covers the last 20 minutes. The livestream is no longer available at Joe Yokomizo Channel but you can check the translation of the previous parts at my tumblr. Feel free to correct me if you spot any mistake or any confusing parts.

Links or credits to this post when the content is reposted or captured in other SNS are appreciated ------------------ (First part here) (Second part here) (Third part here) Joe: That’s it. I’m going to ask you…. They are asking.... how do the other members call you, Toshiya… Toshiya: Mostly….”Toshiya”…. Joe: Toshiya? Toshiya: Yes Joe: Just “Toshiya”. Toshiya: That’s it… maybe sometimes…..they say it in an easy way….it’s not like like they attach anything (suffix) like -kun or -chan to my name….they say it in a normal way…. Joe: “Toshiya”, “Toshiya”…. What ice cream are you recently addicted to? Toshiya: Recently… Joe: That’s the question… Toshiya: Recently….somehow….as I’m lazy… Joe: You are lazy….yes, yes, you said that at the beginning of the program…. Toshiya: As expected….I gained a bit of weight…. Joe: *surprised* It doesn’t look like that at all… Toshiya: Now…..I lost some weight… Joe: You did? Toshiya: I did….so I’m not eating sweet things now… Joe: Now you are not eating sweet things…. Toshiya: Yes Joe: I see…. that’s why he is not eating ice creams recently!..... Toshiya: I don’t… Joe: These kind of questions are a bit harsh but if you have to choose….tsubuan (coarse sweet bean paste) or koshian (fine-grained sweet bean paste)? Toshiya:*Enthusiastically* I like both! Joe: You like both…. Toshiya: But I would say koshian? Joe: If you had to choose, it would be koshian….now there is a question related to The Freedom of Expression, a youtube program I do with Kaoru. “Joe also does  The Freedom of Expression with Kaoru. I would like to hear any stories with Kaoru”. Toshiya: With Kaoru?....well…..mmmmm……*chuckles*…. Kaoru…..Surprisingly, there are many stories of just the two of us that would make you laugh…. Joe: I see…. stories that you can’t tell here…. Toshiya: *nods* That’s right… yes yes….*laughs*…mmmmmm….that’s right…..*laughs* Joe: That’s it….*laughs* Toshiya: Surprisingly…. Joe: Surprisingly…. Toshiya: Unexpectedly…. Joe: I get it… They both laugh. Toshiya: It’s like….I feel like maybe they might be not so open-minded….. Joe:  You can’t…..that’s it…. it would be many grow-up/adult conversations….. Toshiya: *laughs* Grow-up/adult conversations…. Joe: That’s ok… Toshiya: That’s it….but something really…..it applies to the other members as well…..they are all caring/considerate people….they are really like that….what I hate the most when I’m drinking….what I hate the most is people who are in bands that talks shit about other members…. Joe: I see Toshiya: I really hate that…. Joe: I can’t stand that… Toshiya: It’s like…..(they act) as it is ok to talk shit/say bad things when you drink…..much less about members…. Joe: Talking about another member…. Toshiya: I’m like….”I think you should stop doing that”…. Joe: Like “you should speak face-to-face”….it feels like something you should say directly to the members…. Toshiya: I hate that kind of thing….some people say stuff like that sometimes….it’s such a turn-off…. Joe: It really kills the mood….that’s totally it…..because no one chose the band members for you….you are playing in that band because you want to…. Toshiya: That’s it…. Joe: That’s it…..but that happens…..I see…. Toshiya: Before this, at a Liberal Democratic Party meeting…..they took a questionnaire, they weren’t complaining about the organization but they were many people who didn’t like it (the questionnaire). Because they are all adults, right? To some extend, I feel that  it’s important that you see things from a rational point of view…. *Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) is a conservative political party in Japan that has almost continuously been in power since its foundation in 1955.   Joe: Certainly….the good thing about rock….of course it has an aggressive/offensive side but, in the end rock is something positive, isn’t it? Toshiya: That’s right… Joe: Because it’s the power of the people what pushes your forward…. Toshiya: Thereby, you are pushed forward by others…. Joe: Right…. So even if there are things that you might hate about it, to me, the power of rock is finding the good things/side…. Toshiya: That’s right….Taking that direction is rather easier…. Joe: For sure….

Toshiya: The things that you don’t like…..it’s like they become invisible… Joe: Right… Toshiya: It’s better not to see them…. Joe:  True… Toshiya: Even though I can see them…. Joe: That’s right…. Toshiya: I’m being too honest/serious…. Joe: No,no….that’s important….. Then I have the following question…. What protein do you drink? Toshiya: Protein?.....Sabas….

Joe: Sabas?...... Toshiya: Yes Joe:  Is that so?  Sabas? Toshiya: The blue one mostly….I’ve been drinking it recently to lose weight…. Joe: I see….what shampoo or hair product do you use? Toshiya: Shampoo?....mmmmm…what it would be…..about that….surprisingly I use the ones  I get from fans…. Joe: Is that so? You don’t use specific ones…..I’m already at that point….As I’m already 52 years old….*takes off his hat* they told me that my hair is at stage 4, hair restoration is hard….I’m using a hair growth formula that costs 6000 yen per bottle. *The stages of male pattern baldness are measured on a scale from 1 to 7. By stage 4, there is significant hair loss. Toshiya: If you are getting bald, it can’t be helped right? Joe: There is nothing you can do…. What would you do?....if you go bald… Toshiya: Well….mmmm…. I would shave my hair off…. Joe: You would shave it off? I think it would look good on you…. Toshiya: If you think about it, there is nothing that you can do…. Joe: Certainly….*laughs*…..Certainly….I’m going to ask you another question, because we have so many….What was your nickname when you were a kid?.... Toshiya: When I was a kid?.....what was it?....mmmmm….usually….I wonder….I don’t remember it…. Joe: You don’t remember? Ohhh Toshiya: Mmmmm…..*starts laughing suddenly*… this was interesting though…..*laughs* Joe: What is it? Why are you already laughing?….. Toshiya: I’m sorry…..*laughs*….I’m really sorry…. Joe: It’s ok…. Toshiya: This is again about Shinya…. Joe: It’s fine…. Toshiya: Shinya, don’t get mad….I think it’s ok because he told it himself but…. Joe: It’s ok…. Toshiya: When he was asked what was his nickname in the past…..he said it was “liar”….. Joe:* Burst into laugther* That’s so bad….as a person….it’s too amusing…. Toshiya: For real….I really think they are all interesting people….. Joe: It's hard for him to talk much, isn’t it? Does he talk a lot? When I asked him, he just answers……he was amazing…..”liar”….. Toshiya: *laughs* “Liar”…. Joe: Amazing….. Well we are getting closer to the end of the program….. What is your favorite song from Dir en grey? Toshiya: Mmm….I wonder…..I like all of them….I feel strongly about all of them… Joe: I see… Toshiya: I feel strongly about them…..I really feel strongly…. When I think about them…..the feelings and the state of mind of the time (when they were done)….. Joe: Every song……all of them were fun to make but it seems that it was also hard…. Toshiya: Yes, that’s it….that’s true… Joe: Right?....if you play them at a live…..various memories will come…. Toshiya: That’s right…. Most of them were hard….. Joe: Making songs…..that’s such a hard thing….but the fact that there are people who will listen to them, people who are waiting for those songs…. Toshiya: What makes me the happiest about making songs, it’s that for a person, it will become something memorable even if is left in the past….. Joe: Something that will be there…. Toshiya: The feeling that you had when you listened to that song will remain. Like….somehow….any occasion….like a dir en grey album was released at the time you were cleaning the closets and you were listening to it….things like that….that someone was listening to it at moments like those….I’m really grateful. If this can become a page in a person’s life, I’m really grateful. Joe: That's a really nice thing, isn’t it? Toshiya: Time ago…. I was drinking with Baba from Dragon Ash…. Joe: Oh Baba….. Baba who passed away….. *They are talking about Ikuzo Baba “Ikuzone”,  Dragon Ash’s bassist, who passed away in 2012. Toshiya and Ikuzone were interviewed and appeared together at the cover of Bass Magazine No. 228 June 2010* Toshiya: He said that……if you are not forgotten…..you will be able to live forever…. Joe: I see… Toshiya: Baba said this talking about Hide….. Joe: Is that so? Toshiya: If you are forgotten…..I don’t think you will be able to live…. Joe: Well, Baba is still living in us, isn’t he? Toshiya: Of course he is. Those words that he said to me….even now…..those words resonate with me…. Joe: Certainly…..those words  are really good…aren’t they? Toshiya: I think those words were very Baba-ish…. Joe: Certainly…..because the music will remain forever….even if you forget about it for a moment….it may now always be part of  your playlists….but it will come out eventually… Toshiya: That’s right…..somehow…..mmmmm…. I want you to listen to Dir en grey forever…..*laughs* Joe: Of course… Toshiya: I want that to happen but I don’t know (if it will happen)……but……if it bring you memories of that time….that….makes me really happy and grateful…. Joe: I see…..everybody is taking this chance to write the dir en grey songs they like at the comments…..there are many comments appearing on screen…..lastly….there is one more questionnaire for Toshiya….February 2021 has just started….. the emergency state has been extended and we are all in a difficult situation but…..I wonder what are his goals, dreams or plans for this year……ah! Amazing *points at the comments* Thank you for writing so many comments…. Toshiya: Thank you… Joe: All of them…..”Yokan”…. I see…..”Child Prey”….there are many songs there….”Ranunculus”….ahh, Ranunculus is such a great song…..I really like “Ranunculus”…. Toshiya: Ah….it’s really a good song…. Joe: It’s an amazing song…..”Ningen wo Kaburu”…..write more, write more…..we are looking at your comments while we are drinking….please, we are going to use a paper sheet again….*pointing at the notebook on the floor* Toshiya: Ah,yes….*picks it* Joe: About this year….. something like a close goal….you said you were lazy  a while ago but….I want you to think about a positive keyword for 2021….amazing….you all are writing a lot of comments….”Lotus” is there too….amazing….”Rinkaku”….they are writing many songs…..”Zakuro”…..that’s a great song……”Utafumi”….thats a more recent song…..it’s a good song too….. Toshiya:  Somehow…..the songs that we have made…..probably…. Honestly, I can’t say  that Dir en grey is going to be there forever…. I always think about it as walking on thin ice….honestly….somehow….when Dir en grey is gone…..the things that we did….like our legacy…..I think that would be the songs after all….. Joe: I see…. Toshiya: If we are remembered that way…..I would be really thankful….. Joe: That’s right….they are writing “please don’t be gone”…..of course that’s what we all want, that Dir en grey never ends... Toshiya: Of course…. Joe: Of course no one wants Dir en grey to disappear, I’m not saying it with that intention….. Toshiya: I don’t think about it but I can’t promise…..I can’t do that…. Joe: That’s right…..because a band it’s a miracle…. Toshiya: I think so… Joe: Many things you do are miracles…..because not many people can do that… Toshiya: I don’t know….All this….I really just cant do it (by myself)…. Joe: That’s why I think it’s so great that you can perform and produce things…. Toshiya: I agree…. Joe: Definitely, there will a tomorrow and a day after tomorrow…. Toshiya: I agree… Joe: Yes…. Toshiya: That’s it….So, at this time with Corona going on…. I have thought about a lot of things inside my head….but after all, I thought about what was the most negative thing about this situation for me….when I thought about that…..I think the most negative thing for me is that the activities of these 5 people  are reduced…. Joe: I see…. Toshiya: I don’t think it will last forever….I think that the other members feel the same than me…of course, I want to continue doing this as long as I’m alive…. Joe: Of course… Toshiya: I don’t know…. Joe: Yes… Toshiya: With that in mind, last year…..2020….somehow we could only do things as a band at the beginning of the year…that’s it….I feel like  the time of these five people doing things  together has been dramatically reduced……that’s really…..I think it’s very frustrating/annoying….. Joe: I see. That’s why I’m sure the next single is going to be amazing and strong….something that it’s going to make you think hard…. Toshiya: I want it to be something that remains…. Joe: Also the concert screening tour is going to start soon….I hope that everyone as well while believing in every moment, support it… So, what kind of goals or thoughts has Toshiya for 2021? What ideas has installed into his heart? I told him to express them in one kanji…please take a look…. Toshiya: It’s a bit so-so…. Toshiya shows the kanji he wrote. Joe: There it is…. Toshiya: Yes Toshiya wrote “動” (motion). Joe: “Motion” Toshiya: *Laughs* “Motion”…..yes….. Joe: Yes…movement…. Toshiya: Movement….that’s the main thing……I think it’s the main thing right now….unless something “moves”….I knew that nothing was going to happen last year but this year I want us “to move” as much as possible….as much as possible….Of course I want to meet the fans ( at a concert) again but over all, I want  the five of us to move forward…. Joe: That’s good… Toshiya: That’s the main thing I want….. Joe: The band moving forward..…. please everyone look forward to that….the concert screening tour will start soon and although the release date hasn’t been set yet, a new single will be released in the spring. The next action has already begun in pre-production, so when the situation allows it, we all can meet at the live venue again…. Toshiya: That’s it….really…..I want them to come but honestly I can’t tell them to come….that’s it…..if something happens, it’s going to be the hardest thing for us….somehow….that something happens to the people who say that like Dir en grey….that’s the thing I hate the most… Joe: That’s right… that something happens to the people who loves you…..that’s the worst…. Toshiya: It is….it’s the worst…. Joe: For real… Toshiya: For real, I really hate it… Joe: That's right. That's why we should take good measures against infection. We are still in a difficult situation at this time….at an emotional level too…..and after all, I think that some people are also feeling (emotionally) weak…. Toshiya: That’s why that I got this opportunity to be here….that you all are watching this….it make me happy… Joe: Well, finally, what was promised….he’ll take off his sunglasses and say goodbye…but before….next week a new program will be broadcasted….next week Shinya from LUNA SEA…. Toshiya: Oh! Joe: He’ll come to the program…. Toshiya:  A big senpai…. Joe: Isn’t he? He got infected with Corona virus…. Toshiya: Ah, that’s it….it surprised me… Joe: The concert they had at the end of the year had to be suspended…. Toshiya:  That’s right….that some people said you did something bad/wrong… Joe: That’s right…. Toshiya: So  that you ended up like that (infected with the virus)…. Joe: It’s not like he was doing it on his own….but on the contrary, it seems that Shinya also seems to have thought about that, about all the things he did around that time…. Toshiya: It’s really…..to blame someone for that…. Joe: That’s definitely wrong… Toshiya: I think it’s nonsense… Joe: I think that everyone here thinks the same about this….*pointing at the comments* they didn’t do anything wrong….anything wrong….its seems that everyone here knows that…. As for Toshiya, you said you would come after the single is released and you will sing “Jesus” with you sunglasses off… this was decided today…. Toshiya: But it must get the approval of LUNA SEA members….if they don’t approve it, I won’t do it…. Joe: I will get it!.... Toshiya: No,no… Joe: I’m going to get the label president confirmation…. Toshiya: *Laughs* Sakanoue? *Masatoshi Sakanoue is Luna Sea’s  executive producer* Joe:  Sakanoue….*nods* I’m going to ask for his approval… Toshiya: Nooo…..*raises his arms and squeals*….stop it…. Joe: I’m going to confirm it with him…. I’m going to get his approval Toshiya:*Laughs* For real?....I’ll play bass!… Joe: No, no….anything it’s ok but you have to sing…..the bass….it’s going to be like “he is playing bass as always”…. Toshiya: It's really embarrassing….if you could insert some blurring effect/pixelating…. Joe: I’ll! I will insert some blurring with a mosaic effect….but you have to sing….you can play the bass too if you want…. Toshiya: And some…for the voice…..how is it call?...that thing that changes it… Joe: To change it…..some voice distortion….like if you were interrogating…. Toshiya: That thing that makes your voice super high…. Joe: “It’s decided, he’ll sing while playing the bass”…..everyone is so spoiled…… Toshiya: Yes… Joe: Well, finally…at the end of the program he is going to take off his sunglasses and say goodbye to all of you….*Toshiya is about to get the sunglasses off but it’s stopped by Joe* First the message….then you take off the sunglasses at the end when you say bye bye to them…. Toshiya: Well….today was….arggg…..I really hate this *cleans the sweat of his fronthead* I’m sweating a lot…. Joe:*Laughs*I’m sorry…. Toshiya: It was really fun…. Joe: Thank you…. Toshiya: If you laughed watching this…..that would be the best….that would be the best now…we would be thankful for that and it would make us happy….Yes, that’s it. Next time I’ll come after the releasing of “Oboro” and we’ll have a good drink with you all again…. Joe: Yes… Toshiya: Thank you for today….. Joe: Thank you for watching…. Well, while he says goodbye after taking his sunglasses off, I want to thank you for today. *Toshiya laughs and takes his sunglasses off* Tonight’s guest was Toshiya from Dir en grey! Thank you for watching! Toshiya: Thank you for watching! *waves* Joe: Bye, bye! *clapping* Toshiya is on screen, shyly, waving goodbye and then covers his face with his hands. The image fades and the logo of the channel appears. *Thank you for reading :)*

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Seventy-Five

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: SMUT RIGHT AWAY (with, um...bum stuff), and fluff

Harry holds you in his arms and kisses down your neck and chest. He kisses and sucks on your nipple through the material of the bodysuit.

“You look so sexy in this, but I’m takin’ it all the way off now.”

“Okay.”

You lay back on the bed and prop yourself up on your elbows. He kisses down your body while he slides it off. He spreads your legs and kisses from your knee down to your inner thigh. He looks at you while he sucks the skin into your mouth.

“Teasing?” You groan.

“For a change.” He smirks.

He kisses dangerously close to your center, but kisses to your other inner thigh and sucks another mark. He could see how wet you were. He blows on your clit and your hips buck up. He licks a flat stripe up your center. He does this a few times before wrapping his lips around your clit. Your hands slide to his hair.

“Fuck, that feels good.”

You watch as he slides his tongue all around your folds. He licks up and down and side to side, and you get to moan as loud as you want. He was straight up slurping on you, making you come over and over.

“Harry!” You yank his head up. His chin was covered in a mixture of you and his own spit.

“Wha’?”

“I love your tongue, really I do, but do you think I could have your dick now?” He smirks and nods his head yes.

“Sorry, I just…felt like I haven’t had a good taste in a while, and I got a little greedy.”

“Maybe I wanna be a little greedy too.” You bite your bottom lip. “Lemme suck on it, baby.”

He takes his pants off in seconds and gets on the bed. You lick him up and down and suck on him until he nearly comes, but you both wanted to save that for later. You crawl up his body and straddle him.

“Can I ride you first?” You pout. He runs his thumb over your bottom lip and nods.

You lift up slightly and sink yourself down on him, both of you moaning at the contact. He shifts so he’s sitting up against the headboard. You can feel him much deeper this way.

“Can I wrap my hand around that pretty throat, angel?”

“Yes, but, fuck, take your, ngh, rings off.” Harry chuckles but does as you say. He puts them all on his night table.

As you grind on him in a circle he slowly slides his hand up your body. His thumb rubs across your throat. He keeps a light grip on you at first.

“Yellow, remember?” He says to you.

“Mhm.” You smile.

You start bouncing up and down on him, and his grip tightens a little more. It was just enough pressure to heighten your other senses. When you come again he lets go of you and you kiss him, wrapping your arms around him.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful.” You suck his tongue into your mouth and he groans. “M’gonna put you on your side and drive it in deep.” You mouth falls open.

You get off him and get on your side. He straddles one of your thighs and lifts the other over his shoulder.

“Oh fuck!” You scream as he thrusts into you, hitting your g-spot immediately. “Harry! Right there, keep doing that, shit!”

He doesn’t let up, he drives in deep hitting your spot over and over. You had lost track of how many times you came. You eventually end up on your back with him rocking in and out of you.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen next.” He says into your ear, causing you to arch your back. “I’m gonna come inside you, fill you to the brim, and then you’re gonna fuck me, really fuck me.”

The thought alone almost you come again. Harry fucks into you and you feel his come shoot inside you.

“Shit.” He says. You kiss before he pulls out. “I’ll, uh, go grab the towel and lube.”

You nod and go grab the special box.

“Wait, um, could you just like take a shower quick?” You ask blushing.

“Sure, yeah, five minutes.”

Harry comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later good to go. He lays the towel down and tosses the lube to you. He grabs you by the back of your neck to kiss you. He lays all the way back, and you grab the lube. You warm some up in your hand and squirt some right on his hole. He winces as how cool it is.

“Sorry, sweetie.”

“S’okay.”

You get your middle finger covered and you stroke it around him at first before slipping it inside. He hugs his knees up to his chest for you. Once he’s stretched out enough, you put the strap on and lube it up.

“Ready, baby?”

“Mhm.”

You insert the tip and slowly slide your way into him. You watch as his lips part and his eyes roll into the back of his head.

“You look so good, Harry. Taking it so well.”

“Fuckin’ me so good, angel.”

You smile and start to rock in and out of him. You give him a good thrust and you hit his spot. You use a hand pump his cock. You run your thumb over his tip.

“Y/N.” He moans. “I’m gonna, ahhh, I’m gonna come babe!”

You thrust hard inside him and he screams, full on screams like you’ve never heard him before. From the way you were angling his cock, and from your surprise, his come gets all over your face. You didn’t even care because you had to clamp your legs together. You came from the sound of his scream.

“Shit, I’m so sorry.” He says when he sees his come on your cheek and mouth and chin.

“No, that was my bad, I got…caught up.” You slowly pull out of him and he whimpers. “Please, please stop making those noises, it’s too much.” You both start laughing. You take the strap off. “What, um, flavor do you want tonight?”

“You pick, you’re the one with come all over your face.”

“Thanks.” You giggle.

You fill up the tub and throw a vanilla bath bomb in. You wash your face off and call for him. He kisses the top of your head.

“Hey…do you think I could sit in front of you this time.” Your cheeks grow red and you shove your head into his chest.

“Yeah, babe, of course.” He wraps his arms around you. “You okay?”

“I feel shy all of a sudden.” He feels a wetness on his chest and pulls your face back.

“Why are you cryin’, what happened?”

“I have no idea, I’m just feeling overwhelmed.”

“Alright, no reason to be, okay? I’m okay. Did I do somethin’?”

“No, I, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Nothin’, honey.”

He gets into the tub and you get in and lean your back against his chest. He wraps his arms around your stomach.

“I’m sorry, I should be the one taking care of you.” You say looking up at him.

“I’m fine.” He smiles. “You typically need more aftercare than I do anyways.”

“Aftercare?”

“Yeah, that’s what it’s called after you do stuff like that. It’s why you get so shy, you take a little bit of time to come back to me…you’ve done it since we became intimate. It’s why I always try to leave time to cuddle you after. Remember a while ago, when we were still livin’ at your place, you came home and we did it on your lunch break and you said you felt weird all day, and then you wanted me to lay on you?”

“Yeah?”

“Well…there yeh go.”

“I always thought that was something people did after like…BDSM or whatever. I mean, I know we do some different things, but…”

“Sometimes it doesn’t matter what you’re doin’. I mean, you were super shy after the first time I made you come, remember? Think I held you for most of the mornin’ that day.”

“I didn’t realize I was so needy.”

“No! You’r not needy at all.”

“I wasn’t always like that afterwards…I think what happened to me…made me close off and shutdown afterwards. I’ve always just felt realty safe with you though.”

“Good, I wanna always be the thing that makes you feel safe.” He pulls you closer to him.

“I love you, Harry.”

“I love you too, darlin’.”

//

“Harry, no offense, but you’re walking like you have a stick up your ass.” Mariah says to him.

“Yeah, and you look exhausted. Was the coffee I got not strong enough?” Isaac asks.

“No it was the perfect coffee, Isaac.” He smiles. “I just had a, um, long night.”

“Is everything okay?” Mariah asks.

“Yeah, everything’s great. Just had a pleasant evenin’ with my girl after my family left.”

He walks over to his set up for the day. Isaac and Mariah share a look.

“Define pleasant?” Isaac asks. Harry turns to look at them.

“Nothin’, we just got to spend some alone time together.”

“And that’s causing you to walk like that?”

“Walk like what?” Harry’s cheeks were starting to grow red.

“Like you-“

They’re cut off when the first client of the day walks in.

“Check them in, please.”

“This conversation isn’t over.” Isaac saunter over to his desk and checks the people in, a young girl and her father.

“Think she’s with me, I’ve got senior portraits all day.” Mariah says.

“Me too, I think. It’s been really fun. I wonder what Y/N’s senior photos looked like, bet they were cute.”

“I’m sure they’re on her Facebook. I know when I got mine I posted every single one, and the one my friends liked the most was the one I used in the yearbook.

Harry takes his phone out and goes to your Facebook page.

“Go to her albums, bet you she has a, yup! Senior year, 2012-2013.” She points to it and Harry taps on the album. “There! That one of her sitting next to the tree!”

Your hair looked slightly different. It was still long, but you had swept bangs across your forehead, and the blonde highlights you had were much more vibrant. You had a bright smile on your face, and your green eyes popped. You could really see the freckles on your face from your sun kissed skin. You had a blue top on with jeans.

“You were right, Harry. She does look cute.”

“She looks beautiful.”

“Good photographer.”

“Nah, she’s just that gorgeous.” She nudges him and he smiles.

“Maria, this is Alex, you’ll be taking her senior portraits today. Dad’s going to be at the coffee shop next door.” Isaac says.

“Great! We’re going to start outside, okay?”

“When’s my first appointment supposed to get here?”

“About fifteen minutes.”

“Great, I’ll be up in my office.” Isaac watches Harry slowly climb the stairs.

“Harry…”

“Stop watchin’ me!”

//

“Sometimes I wish we had summers off.” You tell Niall as you both walk Buster during your lunch-break. “Like, what really needs to get done?”

“I know, it’s hard on days like this. I miss just goin’ to the beach in the middle of the week when it’s not so crowded. We should go to Castle Island this weekend. Water’s probably still too cold, but at least we could sit out, go to Sully’s.”

“That’s my favorite place in the world, so obviously I’m in.”

“Right, your grandparents lived right around there.”

“Mhm.” You smile. “It would be nice to just get out, plus it’s dog friendly.”

“Does Harry have to work Saturday? I think just in the morning, he could always meet us later.”

“True, I’ll see what Sarah’s up to. I had no idea she online tutors in the summer…thought she’s have more free-time once school ended.”

“It’s really good extra money. Rachel scoops ice cream at a local place for extra cash. Being a teacher sucks sometimes, I don’t know how they do it.” You stop to let Buster pee. “Besides, with it being Saturday, Sarah should be free. I haven’t been to Castle Island in a while, this’ll be fun.”

//

You and Harry get home around the same time for a change.

“Hey you!” You say excitedly and kiss him. “This is nice.”

“I know! My dad actually ended at a reasonable hour. Mariah and Isaac are still there, but I’m the boss so I get to leave when I want.” He chuckles. “Actually they told me to go home. Felt like my eyes were goin’ to fall out from editing. I need to buy those glasses you have that take the blue light out of the screen.”

“Oh those work great for long days. I can get you a pair.”

“I can buy ‘em myself.” He gives your bum a pat and goes into the kitchen.

“I know you can…oh my goodness.”

“What?”

“Do we actually get to cook together tonight?” You gasp, and then so does Harry.

“I think we do! What is this domestic shit that we get to do?”

“Such a treat.” You giggle.

You both cook up a stirfry together.

“We should pick up some corn and grill this weekend, supposed to be nice out. I only have to work early Saturday mornin’.”

“Yeah! We could have everyone over for dinner. Niall and I were thinking of heading out to Castle Island, he’s gonna see if Sarah can come too, didn’t know if you wanted to meet up with us when you’re done.”

“Castle Island….” Harry looks off as if to jog his memory.

“You know, it’s by L Street Beach.”

“Oh right! I’ve been there a couple times.”

“My grandparents lived right near there, I practically grew up going to that beach and park…I haven’t been in a long time.”

“Gonna be too cold to swim still…”

“We won’t swim, might just sit out for a bit, walk around to the library, grab lunch at Sully’s.”

“That sounds nice, yeah I could meet you there when I’m done. Probably get there around lunch time.”

“We’ll probably drive over if you wanna just uber there when you’re done, then you can come home with us.”

“Sounds good, babe.”

//

Saturday morning, Harry’s out by 6AM. He gives you a long, sleepy kiss goodbye and out he goes. You get up around 7AM, not wanting to waste the nice day. You lather your arms and shoulders up with sunscreen before putting a crop top tank on, and some high waisted jean shorts that were loose around your thighs. You put your hair up in your high pony, and take out a few pieces of hair to frame your face. You slip on your tennis shoes and leash up Buster. You wave to Niall, and head across the street.

“No Sarah?” You frown.

“No, she had to go home this weekend actually. Her mum is paintin’ a bunch of rooms at her house and she needed her help movin’ furniture. Bein’ an only child must suck.” He chuckles. “Harry mettin’ us later?”

“Yeah, should be around lunch time. Let me just text him so he knows what’s up.”

You: hi baby, Sarah had to go home this weekend :( so you’ll be meeting Niall and I later

Harry sees your text and smiles at your courtesy.

Harry: sounds good, angel

You text Sarah too, letting her know she’ll be missed. You and Niall head to his car.

“What’s in the backpack?” He asks. You had a small backpack with you.

“Well, there’s water and a bowl for Buster, and I packed some extra sunscreen.”

“You’re always thinkin’.”

“I was thinking we could just hang at the beach for the morning, would that be alright?”

“Yeah! Don’t mind gettin’ sun at all.”

You and Niall drive to the beach and find a place to park. He had some towels in his trunk that you were able to lay out to sit on. You take a deep breath and put your sunglasses on.

“Alright?”

“Yeah…just a lot of good memories here.” You turn around and look across the street. “Nannie and I would sit on the beach, and Papa would sit across the street at one of those benches with his Walkman and a cooler of beer.” You laugh.

“He wouldn’t sit on the beach with yeh?”

“Well, I guess before I was born he was always in the sun, but he got skin cancer, so he couldn’t sit in the sun. So he’d sit in the shade. Then at lunch time we’d go across the street and sit with him. He was so cute, he always made sure to have a bucket hat for me, and to pack enough tonic for us.”

“No waves here, was it fun to swim?”

“Oh sure! I usually found another kid to play with too, and they had a ton of sand toys for me. There was this guy too that sold $1 fudge pops, and my Nannie would always get me one. Coming here, and the summers in middle school they were up in Seabrook were the best times of my life.”

“Maybe someday when you have your own kids you can bring ‘em here, and tell them all about your grandparents and how special it is.” You start to tear up. You smile and nod at him.

“C’mere.” He chuckles and throws an arm around you. You lean into him and sigh.

“I’m fine, I promise.”

“I know, you’re always fine.”

You both end up reading for a bit and listen to some music. Around eleven you decide to start walking towards Sully’s where you’d be meeting Harry. Buster was excited for the walk.

“Does he know it’s just fast food?”

“Oh god, you know, I didn’t even think to mention it. He could have fries?”

“Yeah, and ice cream.”

“That’s for on the way back after we walk around the castle.”

Harry’s uber pulls up to Sullivan’s, or Sully’s as you call it. He was wearing a pair of tan slacks, cuffed at the bottom, and a short sleeve white t-shirt tucked in. He had a dress shirt on earlier, but threw it in his bag. He gets out of the car and sees you, Niall, and Buster walking up.

“Oi!” He waves to the two of you and you smile at him. He jogs over to the two of you.

“I literally had no idea you owned sandals.” You say kissing him.

“I’m full of surprises.” He hooks an arm around your waist. “You look cute, baby.”

“Thanks.” You hand him Buster’s leash so he can take control of the dog.

“You two have fun at the beach? Saw your selfie earlier.”

“Yeah!” Niall says. “Started readin’ that book you recommended, it’s thrilling so far.”

“Oh good! I knew you’d like it, mate.”

You giggle as you walk up to the little fast food place you love so much.

“Harry, this is going to shock you, but I will be ordering chicken nuggets for myself.”

“Really? Why’s that?”

“This is the only fast food place I like chicken nuggets from, and it would be blasphemous if I didn’t get them now.”

“You won’t get sick?”

“Nah, I just won’t look at it while I bite into it.”

“Grab me a hot dog and a coke, I’ll stay out here with the dog and keep a table.” Niall says.

“Thanks.” You smile and head in with Harry. “How was work?”

“Good, it was just a quick engagement shoot.”

“You look really cute too, so summery.”

“Just wait until I break out the jorts, you’ll love it.” You laugh and walk up to the counter. “Hello, can I please have one hotdog and fries, chicken nuggets and fries, and…” You look up at Harry.

“Another order of fries. Two cokes, and-“

“A water please.”

You’re given a number and you hang off to the side after Harry pays.

“I could’ve gotten it.” You say to him.

“I know.” He rubs your back. “So you used to come here with your grandparents?”

“Mhm, all the time.” Your number gets called and you grab the box they put everything in. Harry grabs ketchup, napkins and straws.

“Thanks.” Niall says when you hand him his hotdog.

You and Harry sit, and he watches you carefully as you bite into your chicken nugget. Your eyes close and you’re transported to a much different, happier time in your life.

“Oh my fucking god.” You say. “That’s good.” You say opening your eyes. “I probably won’t eat all of these, but damn, if that’s not a good nugget.”

“I like that the fries are crinkle cut, very old school.” Harry says, popping one into his mouth.

You all enjoy your meal. You take the bowl out of your bag and put some water in it for Buster. After he laps it up you all throw your trash away, and make your way down the walking path towards the Castle.

“Can you tour it?” Harry asks.

“I think so, but I never have.”

“Sometimes I forget this part of Boston exists.” Niall says. “Like there’s a beach, this beautiful park. Everything yeh need.”

“It was perfect growing up.”

You walk down a certain path that leads you to the playground you used to play at when you were a little girl. You stop short. It looks the exact same. Not rundown or anything, they just hadn’t updated anything.

“Y/N?” Harry says when he notices you’ve stopped walking.

Your bottom lip starts to quiver, and you feel tears rolling down your cheeks. You lift your sunglasses up to wipe them away.

“I just need to sit for a second.” You go over to one of the benches facing the playground. Harry and Niall sit on either side of you. “My grandparents used to sit right here and watch me play after we’d go to Sully’s, and then we’d go back for ice cream. I’m sorry, I didn’t think I’d get so emotional.” Harry hands you a napkin so you can wipe your eyes. “Thanks.”

“It’s okay, love.” He rubs your back.

“Being here…just makes me miss those times even more, makes me miss my Papa even more.” You bite your inner cheek so you don’t get more emotional. You take a deep breath and stand up. “Let’s keep going, I’m fine.” You smile. “It’s all good memories.”

Harry holds your hand the rest of the time you’re out walking. You take a bunch of pictures and selfies with the boys. Niall takes a nice one of the two of you and Buster. It was nice hanging out with the two of them without any hostility for a change. By mid-afternoon you make your way back to the car. You go to sit in the back, but Harry stops you.

“Sit in the front, babe. I’ll sit with Buster.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind. Mate, we’re gonna do a bit of grillin for dinner, wanna come by?”

“Sure! That sounds great. I’ll pick up some beer.”

Harry hums his response. Niall drops the two of you off so he can go to the liquor store. You and Harry get Buster upstairs and some fresh water. He was hot.

“I’m gonna change quick, I’m sweatin’.”

“Me too actually.”

You follow him into the bedroom. Harry throws on a different white t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts. You put on a different tank top.

“Much better.” You say.

He follows you into the kitchen to get all of the food out of the fridge and he goes out to the balcony to fire up the grill. Niall comes up with the drinks, and the three of you settle in outside.

“This is perfect.” Niall says, sipping on his beer.

“Right? What could be better?” You say.

Harry gets all the food off the grill and puts it on the table. You all make plates and sit back to eat.

“Y/N, what do you think you want to do for your birthday this year?” Niall asks.

“Honestly, I’d love to do what I did for my 21st and just rent a house by the beach and go nuts. Twenty-five is a big deal, you know?”

“I’m surprised you don’t wanna go nuts at a club in the city.” Harry chuckles.

“She did that last year.” Niall laughs.

“First of all, you came for like five minutes. Second of all, I’ve done the club thing enough. I just think it would be fun to do like a really long weekend, get an air bnb and have fun.”

“Think we could make that work.” Harry says. “Who would you want there?”

“You, me, Niall, Sarah, Rachel, and Mariah.” You shrug.

“Alright.”

“Harry, when do you go to London?”

“Middle of July, two weeks. Y/N’s comin’ for one week, even though I think she should come for two.”

“Harry, I can’t take that much time off.”

“When do you go to Ireland?”

“End of August, two weeks.”

“Good, I’m sure your family misses yeh. I was gonna go for three weeks, but since I just saw my mum and sister I figured I didn’t need to be gone for as long.”

Your phone starts ringing, a call from Seth Rowan.

“Oh, great, your ex-boyfriend.” Harry whines.

“He’s not my, I never, shut up.” You grab your phone and answer it. “Hello?”

“Hey Y/N!”

“What’s up, Seth?” You stand up to take the phone call inside. They hear you laughing from inside.

“Nope.” Harry says. “Nope, don’t like that.”

“I still can’t believe her and Sarah were hookin’ up with him at the same time…”

“We did the same thing.”

“I know, but girls get catty about that kind of stuff.”

You come back outside with a glass of water and sit down.

“I’ll have to ask, I’m not sure what our plans are yet.”

“Well, anyone’s welcome, bring your boyfriend if you want too.”

“Thanks, I’ll definitely ask. Thanks for the invite.”

“Course, talk to you soon.”

“Bye!” You hang your phone up and take a sip of water. “My friend, emphasis on friend, is having a party on the fourth of July. His parents have a house in Hull on the private part of the beach, are you guys interested? His parties are a lot of fun.”

“Could be nice to be out in the open air and not in stuffy apartment.” Niall says to Harry.

“He’s going to invite Rachel and Sarah too, and I know they’ll want to go. He even said I could bring my boyfriend, isn’t that nice?” You look at Harry.

“Sure, I guess we could that. But only if we all go.” He looks at Niall.

“Yeah, why not? I love meeting people that my girlfriend has fucked.”

“Hey!” You slap Niall in the arm. “That’s not very nice. It was so long ago, we were like nineteen or twenty for god’s sake.”

“I’m only kidding.”

“No you’re not. Jesus, you guys can be such babies sometimes.”

“So if someone Harry hooked up with invited him to a party and you’d have to meet them, you wouldn’t care at all?” Harry cuts you off before you can speak.

“This one? She’s the least bothered person I’ve ever met. Didn’t have a problem with Myk, and-“

“Yeah but you and Myk hate each other. I’m talkin’ about a friend.” Harry looks at you.

“I probably would feel…uneasy at first, but I’m the one sleeping with him now, not someone else.”

“What was so great about this guy anyways that you and Sarah were sharin’ him?”

“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t like oh you get him Friday and I get him Saturday. Neither of us realized we were hooking up with the same guy until we both went to one of his parties. We were both hooking up with multiple people at the time so it wasn’t a big deal.” You take another sip of your water and scrunch your nose. “Also, I really don’t want to think about the people I used to sleep with, it’s gross.”

Harry and Niall start laughing.

“Gross?” Niall says.

“Yeah! I’m having the best sex I’ve ever had, why the fuck would I even think about anyone else.”

“God, don’t inflate his ego.”

“You heard that though right? Best she’s ever had. See if Sarah can say the same, mate.”

“She has said the same.” You say.

“See! Wait, how often do you two talk about your sex lives?”

“Um…like all the time.” You look at the two of them. “You guys don’t talk about it?”

“A little.” Harry says. “But not all the time. Don’t you have better things to talk about?”

“Not really.” You shrug. “All three of us do it. It was really helpful in school, we could compare notes.”

“Do you still compare notes?” Niall asks. You grab your beer and sip on it.

“Y/N, are you saying the three of you go into like…intimate details about us with your friends?”

“No! Not…super intimate. We just talk about things, that’s all. Like oh do you like it when a guy does this? No? Me either. Stuff like that.”

“But you talk about us specifically, right? You must if she told you-“ Niall starts, but you cut him off.

“Hey! I’m allowed to have girl talk with my friends, and that stays between us. Just like whatever you two talk about stays between you two. Harry said you talked about guy stuff on your camping trip. How do I know that doesn’t include a conversation about my vagina?”

“Okay! That’s enough of that.” Harry says. “We didn’t talk about sex once when we went campin’, did we?”

“No, actually we didn’t.” Niall starts laughing. “We had real, mature conversations.” He stands up and pats the top of your head. “Something you’re young mind clearly isn’t equipped for.” He goes inside to use the bathroom.

“You’re two years older than me you asshole!” You laugh and look at Harry. “What?”

“Do you tell your friends everything?”

“Define everything…”

“You know what I mean.” You didn’t want to lie to him, but you also didn’t want to start an argument.

“Sarah and I bought all that stuff together…”

“But does she know you’ve used it.”

“I know she’s used some things and she knows I’ve used some things. I didn’t get into the nitty gritty though.” You say quietly, unsure of when Niall will return from the bathroom. “Like they don’t know…the specifics.”

“Y/N, I don’t want you talkin’ about that in general. That’s just for us. Imagine if Niall knew you knew about Sarah usin’ a butt plug on him.”

“I didn’t say specifically what she used.” You sit back and smirk. “Seems like you guys have talked about it.”

“A little…but I certainly haven’t told anyone about…you know.”

“Are you embarrassed?”

“No, but I think that’s a really personal thing to talk to your friends about, even if you don’t go into specifics.”

“Sorry…I won’t talk about it.”

“Okay.”

Niall comes back out with a three fresh beers and hands you both one.

You couldn’t have asked for a better Saturday for with your two favorite guys. Niall left around 8PM. Buster got settled in his dog bed.

“I need to shower, get all this sunscreen off me.” You say to Harry.

“Couldn’t agree with yeh more. You know, you really tan nicely.”

“So do you.”

You both head into the bathroom to shower. You take turns washing each other and you wash Harry’s hair for him, just how he likes. You both get cozy in bed and he offers to read to you for a bit. You loved when he’d read to you. You hadn’t had much time for it lately, so you’d take it when you could get it. You hoped every weekend this summer could be just as perfect.

[purplesurveys]

1278

Social Media Survey

[joybucket]

What is your favorite social media site?  Either Twitter or YouTube, though I never use YouTube as a social media site per se so I guess this round goes to Twitter.

Do you use...

facebook? myspace? twitter? snapchat? instagram? youtube? pinterest? bzoink? another site with message boards? tumblr? deviantart? xanga?

Facebook

Do you get on Facebook every day?  Yeah pretty much all throughout the day. I used to never use it, like never ever; but back in college all announcements were coursed through Facebook so I was technically required to be on it regularly, and it was from there that I began to see memes and start to be more active. I’m a shitposter more than anything though and I rarely ever post stuff of my own. How many FB friends do you have?  I have 679 at the moment but I want to get rid of like 500 of them; it’s just such a long list to go through so I never get to proceed with my unfriending spree lol.

Have you ever been on a deleting spree?  HAHA I just mentioned that. I’ve always wanted to, but like I said 679 is already such an exhaustive list for me, and that’s considering I only started touching my Facebook in like 2019. I can’t imagine people who started Facebook in like 2009 and have 4000 friends aka most people I know.

Have you blocked a lot of haters?  I don’t have haters; at least I’m not aware of any that I have. Not that it’s something I care about at this point.

Do you get bullied online a lot?  No, but that’s also because I don’t really open the channels for people to send in hate. I don’t have Q&A handles like Curious Cat and I never pick out that option in Instagram where people can send in questions.

What's your favorite Facebook app?  Oh I never use Facebook for their apps. Are those still even a thing...? Anyway, I mainly go there to be on the hunt for stupid memes I can reshare or to watch videos that are either funny or informative.

Are you a fan of selfies?  I don’t mind if other people do it, but I think I’m honestly bad at selfies so I almost never take them. I’ve never figured out my angles or what filters look ok on me.

Has anyone ever called the police on you because they didn't like your status?  No but I have had my posts reported because they were deemed ‘offensive.’ Which is weird because my posts that have been taken down are those that speak out against disgusting men, which says a lot about Facebook runs their shit more than anything else.

Are you in any facebook groups?  I’m in nearly a hundred groups, both private i.e. for school purposes, and public.

Are you the admin of any groups?  Nah. Too much time and effort needed out of me.

Do you report abuse to group admins whenever you see it?  Yes. I report the post then leave the group.

What could make Facebook better?  They could put more effort into detecting and banning troll farms.

What year did you start using Facebook?  I made an account in 2012 because of a high school class that required us to upload this specific video-format homework onto Facebook (which in hindsight is such an insensitive homework considering that was nearly a decade ago when the Philippines was still severely behind in internet connection speeds?? Ugh). But I didn’t start actively using my account until around two years ago.

What is your current profile picture of?  Myself, posing in front of the sunflowers in school during the recent graduation season.

Did you like the old Myspace better than Facebook?  I was never a regular user of Myspace, so...

Pinterest

What are some of your favorite boards?  I’ve never had a clue what the purpose of Pinterest was. I mean I have an account...but I’ve also never gotten the hang of it?? so I never touch it hahaha.

Have you ever done a craft you saw on Pinterest?  Well no, because I’m terrible at arts and crafts anyway.

Do you have a Dream Wedding board? If so, what's on it?  No.

If you have a Dream House board, what does your dream house look like?  Ok fine this one I did start hahahah but I don’t even remember what I added on there anymore. I’m sure it was filled with modern-style houses with minimalist interior design.

Do you wish they'd bring the "like" button back?  I’m not even aware of this option.

Do you have a Bucket List board?  Not aware of this either.

Which do you like better: Just Girly Things or And That's Who I Am? The second one sounds less childish. < Same, and it sounds like it covers more.

Do you have a board for tattoos you like? If so, what are some of your faves?  No. The only one I ever made was the house one, then Pinterest quickly became boring from there when I realized there wasn’t much else I could do besides making mood boards.

Do you have a "Random" or "Miscellaneous" board?  No.

Have you ever reached the maximum number of boards?  No.

Do you have any secret boards?  No.

Have you ever had a Pin deleted because of copyright laws?  No.

Do you have a Color board? No.

Do you have an About Me board? If so, what's on it? No.

YouTube

Do you have a YouTube channel? If so, what is it?  Technically I do but I only have it so I can tailor video suggestions to my interests and so that I can like videos and subscribe to channels I like.

What kind of things do you post on YouTube?  I’ve never posted any video on there, not even private ones. I’m also not the type to comment.

What do you like to watch on YouTube?  These days YouTube serves as a stress reliever for me, which is to say I would typically go for humorous BTS-related compilations because there are sooooo many hilarious channels that make these great videos haha. Occasionally I’d go back to channels or series that I used to frequent, like Good Mythical Morning, Buzzfeed’s Worth It and Unsolved, Try Guys, Watcher, etc. 

Are you subscribed to any channels?  To so many.

Do you watch any vlogs? If so, what ones are your favorite?  Hm probably Jiwoo’s, though her channel is called Mejiwoo. I find her content calming and conversational and basically fun to binge-watch when I’m not looking for anything super super particular to watch.

If you have a channel, how many subscribers do you have?  0. I’m just a lurker.

Will you subscribe to my channel? (msg me if you want a link!)  Only if it’s really fit to my interests, I guess.

Do you watch music videos?  Rarely; not a fan of MVs in particular. I only really ever put an exception for BTS.

Have you ever watched a TV show on youtube?  Well no since their copyright team works hard and works fast lol. I do watch entire video game walkthroughs from time to time.

Have you ever worked out to exercise videos on youtube?  No, I can’t care less about working out tbh.

Have you watched Amanda Todd's famous video?  No. I’m scared that it might be too upsetting or triggering for me.

Have you ever looked up how to do something on YouTube?  Not really, I prefer looking up articles that can teach me step by step in words.

Do you get a lot of hate comments on youtube?  No, I’ve never posted anything on there.

How long have you been a youtuber?  Never been.

Instagram

Do you post on Instagram a lot?  I do 1-3 Instagram stories in a week, I would say. As for posts, I only have 4 in total and I don’t really feel the pressure to add more. I just post when I feel the want to.

Have you ever posted a poll on instagram?  Nah, I’m not too sure if anyone would participate so I’ve never tried. If you don't have an iPhone, do you wish you could use Instagram?  I’m pretty sure other operating systems can also use Instagram...

Do you have any followers?  Around 50, I think.

Do you like Instagram filters? I’ll use them sometimes to make my stories appear prettier.

Twitter

Do you think twitter is stupid? Hehe show me at least one person who doesn’t think so. < Coming from someone who regularly uses Twitter, agree. It is crazy stupid but stupid is what I’m there for. Which is honestly not always such a bad thing to me - I like that people are more themselves, more stripped-down, vulnerable on Twitter. People always seem to want to show off their best selves on Facebook and Instagram, so I’m actually kind of grateful that there is at least one social media out there where people can just be their clumsy, goofy selves.

How often do you tweet?  Probably a maximum of five a day. Nowadays I’m on there mostly to just scroll through my timelines.

Do you get on twitter every day?  Yes, both on my personal and fan account.

Bzoink

Do you make a lot of surveys?  I never make them but I try to take them as often as I can.

Do you take a lot of surveys?  Haha sorry, was one step ahead of you. Yeah, I do.

Do you post in the message boards?  Nah. I dunno if I’m even permitted to check the message boards on Bzoink considering I don’t have an account.

What types of surveys are your favorite?  Categorized surveys like this one or countdown ones can be fun, but at the end of the day I like sticking to the classic random survey.

Do you have friends on here?  Not on Bzoink, but here on Tumblr yes! There’s a number of people here I like keeping up with :)

Do you post all your secrets on here?  Again, not on Bzoink; but yep I share pretty much everything here.

What type of survey do you think I should make next?  Anything but basic/about me-themed ones that will ask for my name and eye color and weight.

Do you read peoples' answers to your surveys?  I’ve never made a survey.

Do you think you are good at making surveys? 

Do you try to make unique surveys?

What type of surveys do you want to see more of?

Random

This or That

Scattergories

Have You Ever

Are you like me?

About You

Personal, Deep Questions

Girly

Music shuffle

Would You Rather

Do you have this in your bedroom?

Long

Short

All About Your Crush

Fashion

Make-up

School

Music

Your health

Your friends

Confessions

Girl Confessions - how different is this from just confessions? Hahaha

R-Rated

Controversial topics

Myspace

Did you have a myspace when you were in high school?  I started an account in like 4th grade when Myspace was ~big, but I didn’t find it fun and everyone my age was on Friendster anyway, so I was largely inactive.

Do you use myspace now?  No. Is it still even around? I have no clue.

Do you miss bulletins? I didn’t get to join in on the fun so there’s nothing to miss.

Did you like customizing your profile with the old myspace?  Not attributed to Myspace but I did have a lot of fun customizing my Multiply and Tumblr accounts back in the day. That was a period where I really got to learn and play around with HTML :)

Did you have music on your profile?  Not on Myspace again but I did on Multiply! I had a cute little playlist that played the songs immediately as soon as you landed on my page hahaha.

Did you learn HTML when you used Myspace?  Tumblr, yeah. I believe the skills are still there but I’ll definitely be a bit rusty.

Did you have a customized cursor?  Oh, no. Wasn’t a fan of those as I found them a bit tacky.

Did you use glitter graphics?  Also found those tacky haha no, I never used those.

Do you remember posting glitter graphics on friends' pages?  Nope.

Did you make "dolls"?  I don’t recall ever making those.

Did you use photo captions?  Not sure what this is referring to so let’s just say no.

Did you have a photo slideshow on your profile?  Hmmm nope, I don’t think so.

Xanga

Did you have a Xanga account back in the day?  No. It wasn’t big here so I had never heard of it until I started taking surveys on here and heard people mentioning Xanga, actually.

Do you have a xanga account now?  No.

Did you post photos and quotes on your xanga page?  I never had any.

Snapchat

Do you use snapchat?  I did; I was superrrrr active on there for a time. It kind of just got old at one point, though, and my feed got more and more dead until I too just left my account dormant altogether.

What is your favorite filter?  There were a lot of cute ones on there that helped me be more confident with taking selfies but my favorites have to be the dog and flower crown ones.

Tumblr

Do you understand Tumblr?  I had a better handle of it when I ran a fan account that required me to be more active; but now that I really just go on here to take surveys I just use the basic functions and nothing more. But yeah, I understand just enough to get by.

Do you use Tumblr?  Yeah. Even on the days I don’t post surveys, I regularly go on here to keep up with friends I like keeping up with like Elisabeth, Lane, Steph, Lina, Julie :)

Other

What forum sites did you use to love that aren't around anymore?  There was one message board I frequented for this girly/tween magazine I used to collect, but I won’t share the name.

Are there any other great social media sites that you recommend?  I think this survey was able to cover all the main ones I use.

Do you use a photo editing site? If so, what?  I use apps instead of sites to edit my photos.

Do you ever use BeFunky.com?  Nope.

Do you use a video editing site? If so, what?  Nah, I rarely have to edit videos in a super intricate, detailed way. Apple’s video editing features suffice for me.

Have you ever downloaded fonts?  Very occasionally since it’s never necessary.

Have you ever used photobucket to upload an image?  No but I remember going on there back in the day to look for images. I never uploaded any, though.

Do you use iTunes?  Not anymore. I have an account on Spotify now.

Do you listen to music on Pandora?  No, never used it.

[whitehotharlots]

Elizabeth Warren is a weak candidate

It’s hard to believe it’s already been a year.

Last October, prospective presidential candidate Liz Warren stopped by the ur-#Resistance podcast Pod Save America, a program in which several former Obama staffers named John talk about which Gryffindor house Trump administration members belong to, and helpfully explain why Andrew Cuomo is actually way more progressive than Cynthia Nixon. They talked about how Trump had taunted Senator Warren by referring to her as Pocahontas, a cruel play on her claim to Native American heritage. Why, they asked, don’t you try and shut that bully up? Why not take this test from our eugenicist friends at 23 and Me? 

“By golly,” said Liz. “That sounds like a real dandy of an idea!”

Now… this is actually stupider than the mainstream narrative suggests. Because even though it turned out Liz had a smaller percentage of Native American DNA than basically every other American white person, simply taking the test reified an offensive precedent of blood quantum, which is more or less universally rejected among actual Native Americans. Even if it turned out she was 50% Cherokee and had little feathers floating in her piss, the entire spectacle still would have made a mockery of the intense, material struggles faced by Native Americans to this day. 

Now, normally on this blog, I’d go on for several paragraphs about how I don’t actually care about Warren’s heritage (I don’t), how it’s more important to note that she and the rest of the Democratic establishment only care about Native issues to the extent to which they can exploit them, how her refusal to take a stand against DAPL was not just concerning but disgusting, how she can write as many “Pow Wow” recipes as she pleases but at the end of the day she’ll just be another shitty Democrat who expresses solidarity with oppressed people but does nothing to prevent their water being poisoned or their land befouled. But that’s jumping the gun. We’ll only have to worry about being gravely disappointed by Warren if she manages to beat Trump in general election. And I’m sorry to tell you, but she doesn’t have what it takes to get that done.

Warren is a goon. I’m sorry, but she is. She can’t answer softball questions about her recent political history without coming across like a teen who was just caught shoplifting and has been asked why there’s Playstation-sized bulge beneath his shirt. (“D-did I support gay marriage? Well, umm, jeeze louise who can remember something like that? Uhhh. There might be notes? Maybe? But there isn’t. So, I… I guess, well, who can say, really?”)

Warren isn’t nearly as a self-certain as Hillary was, and that’s a problem. It wouldn't be a problem if she actually were a leftist and actually did plan on proffering material solutions to the material problems facing nearly every American. But she’s not. Policy-wise, she is somewhat better than Hillary or Biden. That’s fine. But that’s not enough. She’s already spent too much time courting the Democratic establishment and their corporate base. She knows, therefore, that when a dying cancer patient asks her if she supports Medicare For All, that she has no choice but to lie to his face, that she’s prioritizing corporate cash over helping suffering people, but she lacks Hillary’s soulless cruelty and so she can’t simply laugh away the man’s concerns as naive bro stuff. This causes her to stutter and panic, which makes her (rightfully) appear disingenuous. 

Warren’s plans are likewise a degree or two more progressive than what was being offered by Hillary in 2016. But they’re not straightforward. They are cloaked in the maddening layers of equivocations, loopholes, and means testing that have infected every Democratic proposal since the early 90’s. This is the unavoidable consequence of party seeking to appease two diametrically opposed interests. You can’t satisfy the profligacy of capital while helping everyday people. It cannot be done. And so Democrats rely on Rube Goldberg-style labyrinth policies to obscure this fact, to make it look like they’re trying to help when actually they’re not, they are at best attempting to add a little sugar to the arsenic so that we won’t fight back so much when they pour it down our throats.

Obama could pull this off. We all knew Obama was lying in 2012, but he was appealing enough to make us rationalize away his lies. Same thing with Bill Clinton. If you’re not old enough to remember, check out this debate clip. The man looked like he was going to crawl through your TV and fuck you, and most of us were cool with that. Hillary lacked this appeal. Warren lacks it even moreso. And, yes, I guess this is essentially affective and subjective--just my opinion and whatfor. But any soberheaded person should be troubled by the fact that Warren’s campaign as already absorbed the most viscerally annoying people from the Hillary campaign, and is already aping HRC’s most repulsive and alienating tactics.  

These are people like Sady Doyle and Amanda Marcotte: neurotic, celibate scolds who engage with politics primarily as a way to actualize their petty grievances and insecurities. These people are incredibly unappealing to everyone who isn’t immediately inclined to like them, which is about 90% of the American electorate. And this unappealingness has nothing to do with their gender or their physical appearance. It’s because they are liars who are running a manifestly cynical grift, and they don’t have enough charm or intelligence to trick voters into thinking they’re doing something else.  They are electoral poison, and their outsize presence with the Democrat establishment is a big reason why the Democrats get their asses beat so consistently even though they are supported unanimously by the American media and cultural classes. 

Their grossness was encapsulated very succinctly yesterday, in the misadventures of Ms. Ashlee Preston. Preston is a large black trans woman who works as an official Warren campaign surrogate. She took to twitter to do what these people do: lie about Bernie Sanders and his supporters. They need to lie, because they are working for a candidate who is manifestly more regressive and less electable than him, but they still want to position themselves as the most radical in the field. So she lied. She said that Sanders hadn’t done anything to support gay rights since the 70’s, and that therefore it was actually good that Warren voted for Reagan twice during the AIDS crisis, because that means she grew into her present woke state.

This was all par for the course. Liars lie. Preston is paid to lie. So she lied. 

Also par for the course: Bernie supporters asking her what on earth she was talking about, and doing so politely. And then, once again par for the course, the liar claiming to have been viciously harassed by Bernie Bros, which is meant to validate the lies that warranted the response--which actually wasn’t a lie since it was just, like, sarcasm that y’all folx was too hateful to understand. 

This process has been going on pretty much non-stop since the middle of 2015. Anyone who pays cursory attention to it knows what’s happening, but the weird rules of political decorum make it so we all have to pretend to take it seriously. But yesterday there was a twist. Preston, apparently, had a bunch of semi-coherent tweets in which she said all kinds of neat stuff about Mexicans and Asians. These got posted. She reacted by saying she was kinda sorry but also still right and that it was harassment to bring up that stuff. And… that was it. Cancel Culture’s denizens applauded her apology (a courtesy often provided to those who are willing to lie about leftists). She is still employed by the Warren campaign. The incident wasn’t discussed in any mainstream news sources. The outrage over her old tweets was actually co-opted to smear those who unearthed them. 

The simple observation here was made by hundreds of people online: if this were a Sanders surrogate, they would have been fired immediately, the affair would have been discussed on cable news, and it would have been held up as proof that Sanders should drop out immediately. And when I say hundreds of people posted something along these lines, I might be understating this. The duplicity on display here is manifest to everyone who isn’t on the take. Everyone can see how rotten this is. There’s no question about it. No argument to be had. I’m sorry to say, but this kind of brazen cynicism does not go over well with most voters. It is, in fact, incredibly alienating. The people who claim universal healthcare is inherently racist and attempt to ruin people’s lives for using imprecise language can’t just turn around and demand immediate ablution for their own hateful acts. Or… I guess they can, since that’s what just happened. But they shouldn’t be able to. And the fact that she was able to, so completely and so easily, proves just how much of a shitty fucking grift this whole thing is. You don’t need to be a genius to realize that. You don’t even need to be well-read. You just need to pay a little attention and possess a little bit of self-respect. And that’s why Warren is going to lose.

[cherra-khunatta]

冷戦的な物語 (The Cold War Story)

Nope, this is NOT the exact Cold War that you often hear in history books. This is the Cold War that I have experienced myself, with the person whom I called, my “special someone.”

Allow me to share to you the details... if you peeps do not mind, hehehe (PS: He’s no longer on FB and IG for personal reasons).

Chapter 1: Santa Maria Colegio de Ciudad Quezon

2007 - Many things happened during this time. I was still “in love” with my first serious crush in school, and we barely finished yet first year high school. Also, this was the year that I met “you know who” during the recognition rites practice. Oh, don’t remind me about it since I was in freshman of high school, and that wasn’t the most pleasant experience I had—like I was too busy like having butterflies on the stomach, thinking what I would do to please my crush again.

OO NA, CRUSH darake demo imi ga nai to wakaru yo. Demo sono ato, infatuation ga nakunatta.

Well, nakilala ko lang si “future” crush sa recognition rites practice and whatnot. HEARING HIS NAME means, basically iyung maputing chinitong kulang sa height, pero when his name was mentioned, like I was SHOOKt. HANTAI PALA!!! xD

Pero di ko pa crush iyun. Kayo naman.

At RANDOM pa ako nag-a-add sa Friendster... and sorry to say that includes him.

That year was also the time I really NEED to move on from my first crush. So yeah, nagka-crush ako sa teacher (ALAM NIYO NA IYAN! Charot!), na sorry to say, ‘di ko masyadong nagustuhan ang teaching style (chos!). Well, let me tell you this: That teacher was only some “transitional period” figure so that I could just “move on” from my first crush, who obviously was rejecting me all throughout (dahil nga sa nangyari... and I never thought of transferring schools at the first place, thinking that the alma mater where I regretted studying will eventually change and open up to new ways of thinking).

And so, yeah.

Until during this one episode where... I just saw him alone during I think, recess time? HAHAHA. I was like, I dunno, I just fell for him without even knowing his true identity. I only knew his face and name, and that’s about it. DAKEDO—miryokuteki na kao ha? Chotto... sukoshi heibon nano ha... futsuu na shakai ni yoru to, sore no hou ga tekitou na keiyou da yo.

And so, yeah. Parang ganun na nga.

I asked my batchmate (well, he wasn’t my clubmate that time, so yeah...) who he was. DAFUQ kilala niya pala. Clubmate niya pala. AHAHAHAHA. I guess, it was like it came to my senses that he’s pretty attractive to my taste dahil nerdy, tsaka he takes his academics seriously. Ayun.

And yes, I really WANTED to have this formal meeting with him. Get to know each other kaya ayun. I added him eventually on Yahoo! Messenger, and that’s it. We started chatting.

And mind you mga beh, sobrang KILIG KILIG much ako, without even formally meeting him. Well, kinukulit ko kasi ng bonggang-bongga iyung friend ko na clubmate siya.

OK ok... until it came to my senses na gan’to nga. YES I WILL MEET HIM NA...

That smile from my face is not a joke. I usually greet him and talk small talk with him whenever we meet. Ayun.

LAHAT LAHAT I showed my entire tatemae towards him, and I was introducing him to my friend who’s a batch lower than him pero batch higher sakin. In short, third year level siya. And yes... kasama niya meiwaku niyang kabarkada na sumira ng lahat.

OO... at hindi ko na lang siya babanggitin dahil... I will discuss that later.

So, ayun. ALL OF A SUDDEN everything was gone. Ganun-ganun lang dahil sa nangyari. I was fucking humiliated and embarassed and shit. Ayoko nang pag-usapan and somehow, medyo it left a mark in my life na gan’to. And that time, I wasn’t really in good terms with some of my classmates dahil sorry to say, I was dealing with a lot of demons in my head. Ni hindi man lang talaga in-explain sakin ng maayos ang mental health condition ko (which you know, has emerged ever since before naging uso ang SPEAK OUT re: mental health awareness; well, no offense sa mga may mental health issues).

Somehow, another factor that destroyed our friendship was online games. DOON NA TALAGA nag-start ang Cold War.

And knowing the strict rules of this alma mater? FUCK NO. I won’t explain everything in detail na.

OK so to speak: Hindi na kami friends sa Friendster, at saka di na kami nag-uusap gaano sa YM, and yes, hindi parin kami friends sa Multiply something like that.

So to speak. NO JIDORI. Kahit civilian-wearing day, shit na malagkit, no communication with him. Just pure cold war via away thru social media for petty reasons.

2008 - And yes, he graduated from high school, and I do not have any idea about his college. Well, none of my business tho. The Cold War still continues.

So to speak, HINDI KO SIYA BINATI NUNG TANJOUBI NIYA. KAHIT GUSTONG-GUSTO KO.

Third year high school - So ayun. I met his imouto (LOL), and you know what? Ayun, sneak peek: NAGPAKILALA AKO SA KANYA with my best buddy... you know what I mean?

Hindi ko lang hinalata na kilala ko si kuya niya and shit.

DAFUQ. NAGKA-ALAMAN na during this episode like... putcha inamin ko na lang sa imouto niya na kilala ko siya at may gusto talaga ako sa kanya.

And you see, kahit pumupunta-punta kuya niya just to get her report card, like jusko, BAKIT HINDI KO PA SIYA LAPITAN!? I WAS SHOOKt. Confused me was like, I just want to talk to him, but I can’t. Social distancing lang ang peg, beh? xD

Tuloy parin ang Cold War sa internet. Walang katapusan.

Pero this was at the same time, my best buddy’s movements were kind of far from normal. Iyun din ang factor na may huge impact sa buhay ko... which would determine my future career in the long-run... (lol may pa-ganun ganun pa?).

Si meiwaku na lang talaga... she got the nice things, but on the following year I was LEFT WITH NOTHING! Admins must answer my demands... charot!

2009 - Ayun. Wala paring katapusang Cold War. Pero this time, I parted ways with my best buddy (sorry, wala nang ibang choice eh). AYOKONG mangyari iyun talaga... pero parting ways with him made my fourth year high school the WORST part of my high school life. Kasi tuwing anjan si best buddy, no one will really touch me (me paganun-ganun pa).

But yeah, I have to suck it up.

Gusto ko nang tumakas from that so-called tyrannical high school which has the crappiest quality of education in history. Putang ina talaga. Sorry for the language, but that school has to be accountable for damages (waley charot!).

That was also the time I commented on someone’s post na ganito ang school niya na gumagamit ng gantong language. Well, derogatory pa nga ang term eh (LOL).

COLD WAR PARIN.

2010 - Graduate na ako ng high school (SA WAKAAAAAAS!). Well, the bad memories and sh*t because I think the one responsible for sectioning students INSULTED ME ALL THROUGHOUT, and yeah.

Chapter 2: Pamantasang Taft Avenue

I FINALLY CAME TO HIS SCHOOL. YEE-HAW!

Pero di parin tapos ang laban. Again, the Cold War has re-emerged on what? Formspring! The shittiest website you’ll ever encounter in your entire life.

Somehow, I gained more EMENIES online... because you know that anime and video games are kind of BANNED in our household, but I watch anime secretly through torrent (shhhhh). Nalagyan pa ng VIRUS ang laptop ko dahil gusto ko talagang ma-download iyung mga content na ANIME talaga. And why the F*** did I NOT take up Japanese studies instead, if I love anime? Well, then and again the meiwaku person’s gaslighting and sh*t...

And 2010 was my FUCKING WORST YEAR because sinagad ko pa nga ang college. Bakit di na lang ako nag-gap year and shit? At gini-guilt trip pa nga ako na dapat UST na lang ako dahil ganto. But NO. Wala sanang problema ang UST but look, you want me to experience another part 2 of my high school alma mater? NO WAY, Jose. At talagang gusto ko na talagang mag-civilian clothes because it signifies FREEDOM!

Oh wait—freedom my ass. Wala parin akong bonggang-bonggang freedom dahil I was still continuing to BATTLE MY INNER DEMONS like WTF was I born this way and smth like that... ayun.

Medyo nasa stage talaga ako ng self-deprecation, NO THANKS to my background and whatnot. Everyone had really aristocratic features, and academic achievements and they’re so confident about themselves (TEKA... baka FULL of themselves).

And that’s also the time na parang hindi ko rin feel ang mga magiging kasama ko for the first 2 terms. Sorry to say, but it seems that I did not belong to their league at all.

Parang ganun.

And then again, AYOKO NANG MAG-ELABORATE gaano.

This year was the only year I learned to RISE UP from my mistakes. 2 fucking failures only means that “O AYAN, sa sobrang conceited mo kasi, ba’t di mo kaya babaan pride mo?”

Di mo masisi, turbulent masyado ang high school life ko. Meganon. Chos.

2011 - So yeah, third term of my college life... I decided to cross-enroll because I really do not feel to be with these sorts of people. YES, the elitistas.

YEAH... they only dress nicely and speak English like a person from the soshal high society pero manners ANLAYO... parang alipin race by practice parin pero naka-LV ang mga luka-luka.

KAYA AYOKO NA SILANG MAKITA! Charot!

This year was also the first time I came to Japan. MY DREAM DESTINATION! Pero huwag kayo, naging favorite country ko talaga siya (well sorry to say, na-”brainwash” ako ng mga libtard ideas that time, abandoning the conservatism from high school) dahil sa anime pati video games.

Sinabi ko talaga, sana makabalik ako sa Japan. KAHIT European studies ang major ko nun.

And yeah... medyo hindi ko na ma-open mind ko because of this constant fear-mongering from this sort of environment that isn’t really open to new ideas and only cares about snobbery. Kaya siguro mas malapit ang loob ko sa mga hard sciences majors dahil ‘di hamak mas open-minded tsaka conservative in practice talaga sila... and f*** liberals, ya know.

OO, Cold War parin talaga, fren. Di kami nag-uusap at kahit nakikita ko rin siya paminsan-minsan, I just do some sorts of weird stuff and yeah...

2012 - THESIS year. Jusko... heto pa talaga ang pinaka-judgment day sa lahat. Like, ga-graduate pa ba ako, kahit sabihin nating pasaway student ako nun?

Pero, Cold War parin.

2013 - The time I graduated from college. INUNAHAN KO SIYA! BWAHAHAHAHAHHA!

Pero huwag kayo—medyo rocky road din ang taong ‘to dahil I decided to reconcile with my best buddy and raised the white flag dahil nga siyempre, I tried to forget him but NO WAY... he was a huge part of my life kaya papano ko siya kakalimutan? Diba?

Well, because I fucking missed the graduation ball of my batch. AYOKO sanang pumunta dun for personal reasons... well, may tiket na ako pero gusto ko talagang ibenta. PRAMIS!!!

The result? GAP YEAR from looking for work. Just to attend next year’s grad ball.

After I graduated, I went to South Korea for the 1st time and JAPAN... for ze second time around. First time in Tokyo.

Grabe.

Wala akong masabi.

Dun na siguro nagsimula ang formal Japanese lessons ko.

Pero again, COLD WAR parin.

2014 - YES!!! I attended the grad party... with my high school bestie. Sobrang happy ko nun dahil makakasama ko siya muli. <3

AND...

Pumasok ako sa law school. WELL, LAHAT NG MGA MAHAHALAGANG GAMIT KO, NAWALA SAKIN. F*** those 3 drivers na alipin race by practice! I HEYT DRAHGS!!!

Pero, Cold War parin.

Chapter 3: Travajo, Shigoto, Arbeit

2015 - The time HE graduated from college. Well, I was already studying photography so yeah... and during this year, this is where I had my very first job. Ayun. Meaning to say, new crushes and sh*t, and yeah, meeting new people.

Pero, Cold War parin.

At the same time, meeting new people? Dalawa rin naging crush ko. Pero LABAG sa kalooban ko at pumunta kami ng North America. FUCK... I don’t wanna come back but my parents insisted and sh*t.

Sorry to say, pa-sh*th0l3 na kasi iyung alam niyo na, pinaka-supposedly makapangyarihang bansa sa buong daigdig este hegemon. Gomen nasai to my American friends, but if you knew me closer and deeper, no offense to your country tho!

I was sooooo inggit sa mga taong nakapag-Japan on this year. Haist. Di afford mag-Japan pero afford mag-US? ABNORMAL OI.

Hanggang kapritso’t pabonggahan lang kayo dun eh. And I HATE IT!

Pero 2015 is also the year that I really need to move on from you-know-who. Kasi jusko, dami-daming gwapo diyan! Hindi lang siya!

2016 - WAIT... this is the best year for me... and pretty much the worst. First time kong pumunta ng Kyoto and thought that this is like the Philippines when it’s summer. Tourists weren’t really too many and yeah, move on talaga from that special someone dahil inisip ko one day, mahahanap ko na talaga ang special someone ko. Jusko, daming mas gwapo pa dun anoh! HAHAHAHA.

And my first time to USJ! YEE-HAW!

Bonggang-bongga’t heto na rin ang “moment of truth has finally arrived” and sh*t, at saka PANIBAGONG CRUSH all the way... sa work ko pa nakita at dehins basta-bastang tao iyun! BWAHAHAHAHA at siya pa nga nag-udyok sakin mag-art (BWAHAHAHAHA).

Hindi biro iyan—kung di dahil pinapunta ako sa Craft Mania, malamang I would have NEVER spent my money ng bonggang-bongga sa mga art materials na di ko pa alam gamitin that time. Pabonggahan lang and sorts of stuff (KIDS, don’t try this at home, ha? Learn to save your keep kahit papano)—para lang mag-show off.

2017 - COLD WAR PARIN.

2018 - COLD WAR PARIN.

Pero mind you, this is when the defining point of time I really have to prove myself na worthy akong mag-Japan. NOPE. Not the Japayuki sort of thing dahil... watashi no kao kara suru to, not to brag, but does it seem like... DO I LOOK LIKE A JOKE TO YOU!? Beh, move on na! Hindi na high school itey! Chos!

Pero mind you, this was also the time I un-expectedly PASSED JLPT for the first time. I literally was happy, but still not complacent. Nakukulangan pa ako.

And this is also the time I proved to myself, babalik ako sa Japan to fulfill my childhood dream: Disney Resort sa Japan dahil dun ko talaga gusto eh! Haist talaga, malas ako at dehins ako half-Japanese, you know that feeling of wanting to go to Japan before 2010 because of the cool stuff... pero turns out hindi. Mamaya na.

And after going to Tokyo Disneyland? The next day, we went to unexpectedly the art store that would become my FAVORITE PLACE in the world dahil na-meet ko na ang lalakweng nagpa-tibok ng puso ko. CHAROT!!! Imagine, grabe OPPOSITE niya talaga ang color ng mga Binay, walang gluta pa iyan! Pero likas na gwapo’t magaling pa mag-English (never mind his funny accent LOL). At BAROK pa Nihongo ko nun. As in hazukasii tsukaikata desho! w

Siya ang defining moment ng buong trip ko sa Japan. Dahil siyempre, he has this smile na sobrang sincere at walang pretensions... like he was like that dude whom you want to take for dinner. LOL me paganun-ganun pa.

AT siyempre, back to you-kn0w-who again, tensions are getting relaxed, pero COLD WAR PARIN technically.

2019 - Heto na iyung taong formally pumunta ako ng Japan na walang uwian talaga. Dire-diretso na ang paninirahan ko bilang ryuugakusei. At siyempre, hazukashii parin dahil shit talaga na malagkit, my Japanese wasn’t very very good. Sono kaiwa nouryoku ha zenzen hazukashikatta desho. Maa, mou takusan naratta houga yoroshii yo.

And YES, I went to different places like Kamakura, Yokohama Chinatown, Kobe, Hiroshima, Fukuoka, Nara... shit andami na talaga. Dahil naka-stay ako sa Japan for a year. And my mom often visits me dahil siyempre hitorgurashi ako ditey. And it’s quite depressing ya know—loner, iyung feeling na welcome ka pero di ka parin belong sa society nila. At medyo confused stage parin ako dahil pagod na ako ng bonggang-bongga sa Philippine politics kaya I need a fucking break. But no... things don’t really work that way ya see.

Chapter 4: The moment of truth has finally arrived—tokoro no naka ni ha, Nippon de

And this is one defining moment when wait... like I went to Kobe for the first time around...

Nandito na lang ako sa Japan, at siyempre iyung crush ko na iyun talaga (oi, hindi si opposite skintone ng mga Binay, ok?), I just want to reconcile with him ever since. So, why not again... do something about it?

Remember, wala nang Yahoo Messenger. Wala na ring Friendster. Pati Multiply tigok na rin. At saka wala na ang online games, anoh? DotA na lang tsaka Mobile Legends, pagkaka-alam ko.

And so it happened like this...

He already viewed my IG posts, and that was the time I really had to focus on my studies in the bekka program. Andito na lang ako sa Japan, at saka you know... like the kalungkutan in my eyes show that despite that I love Japan, and I wished to naturalize in the place I consider my second home, parang gusto ko nang i-abandona iyung idea na iyun. Because for one, I am fully aware that Japan is not an immigration-friendly country.

So yeah, because he views my stories on Instagram, I guess this is the time I have to poke him on Facebook?

Oo, sa Messenger ko pa ginawa iyun.

And surprisingly, he sent me a message.

Ayun.

Wait lang ha... ayun.

Nakita ko na talaga na “Sorry sa late reply... ano po iyun? Oh, na-alala nga kita, at sorry sa nagawa ko noon. Sobrang immature ko nun at alam mo na hindi ka deserving sa ganun.”

Umiyak ako. Bonggang-bonggang reconciliation na talaga ang ramdam ko.

Nagpasalamat talaga ako sa kanya, siya iyung dahilan kung bakit nandito ako sa Japan. Shikata ga nai kedo, kung di dahil sa kanya well... I would never be in Japan right now.

Siya parin talaga ang babalikan ko at the end of the day. At hindi ko mai-tatanggi na siya talaga ang inspirasyon ko sa pagpunta ko rito sa Japan bilang ryuugakusei.

2020 - Coronavirus.

Heto na rin ang taon na for good na ang rainichi niya. Totsuzen iyun, hindi iyan ang original plan niya. And his company was already dissolving, so he has to deal with things and stuff before he gets free time.

At takot talaga siya sa coronavirus.

At naka-graduate pa ako. Pasado ko lahat mga subject ko. Pero hindi parin ako kuntento talaga. May kulang pa.

OO, nung panahong iyun sobrang depressed talaga ako. Fuck, all the good and the bad memories in my Japanese university were like, emerging again, just looking at the clothes.

It’s like telling me I really have to go back home.

Kailangan ko nang umuwi ng Pilipinas dahil wala na ako gaanong obligasyon dito sa Japan. Also, whenever I wake up in the morning? I often get depressed, wishing nagtagal lang ako dito sa Japan, pero mukhang hindi talaga para sakin ang Japan, iyan ang ramdam ko.

But I wished so hard, magkita pa kami.

Kotoshi no rokugatsu - Dapat nakauwi na ako ng Pinas nitey. Oo nga, dahil hanggang gantong buwan lang ako andito sa Japan. And I’m stuck in a limbo simply because of that panirang coronavirus.

I cannot admit, I was battling my own demons while I was in school. Like, hindi ko talaga tanggap ang nakaraan ko because I wasted my time being YOLO. Like, ano ba talaga gusto ko paglaki ko?

Fuck, how I wish I planned earlier, but certain factors like political something something was a hindrance. PERO HINDI.

Until I finally decided to meet him.

Lubusin ko na’to. I worked so effing hard just to bring back our friendship. I wanted a closure. I WANTED IT EVER SINCE. Gusto ko na talagang tapusin ‘tong kabanatang maitataguri kong Cold War.

The Cold War that shaped me into a better person, I guess?

June 10 - The day we finally met.

The day when eventually, niyakap ko siya at tinawag ko na sempai.

I finally found the closure I was seeking for.

I noticed, maraming nagbago for sure: First and foremost, inamin niya ring dehins niya gusto masyado ang nangyari sa high school life... and yeah mas enjoy di hamak ang college life, where he learned a lot of stuff.

Sa Japan pa talaga, of all places. I tried other sorts of cultures, if this will fit me, but in the end I simply ended up being in the place I consider my second home, and met my crush there and had the closure I was seeking for: Didn’t expect he would delete some of his social media accounts which sorry to say, parang Fall of the Berlin Wall ang peg.

I was like, I would never expect him to be the person I knew since high school. Kung di ko man lang na-afford makipag-jidori sa  kanya o batiin siya sa Meris o sa La Salle...

Kaya siya tinatawag na Cold War.

[petty-revenge-stories]

Dude hides my backpack for the whole year and I do the same to him

(So i am 13 yrs old and from Finland so there might be some grammar mistakes but please ignore them.)

So I put his backpack on top of a tall shelf when he was getting his laptop (laptops in our school are in a specific storage room). My friend next to me was very excited about this and cheering me up. Then I heard "what are you doing?" from behind me. Turns out this was my other friend. I explained the situation to him and he joined me by putting his books and pens on top of a another shelf. Then the dude comes back and realizes what we were doing and just says "smell a sh#t" and was quiet until the teachers comes back to the classroom. The dude puts his hand up and says that he has a problem. The teacher came to ask what was wrong. He said that we hid his stuff and was telling the teacher like we were the bad guys. This is when I told the teacher what he had been doing for the whole year. The teacher just nodded and started talking to the dude. I heard something like this "we heard quite hard feedback there and you should think about how you act". The dude was not really listening and continued to do his exercises. Turns out he got in trouble afterwards and had to stay at the school longer while everyone else left school for their weekends.

Now that I'm reading this we really sound like the bad guys, but trust me he was very offensive too and used these really bad words. This story was shorter than I thought, but I hope you liked it! (This was my first post too)

(source) story by (/u/Kasperthesociopath)

[bountyofbeads]

‘People Actively Hate Us’: Inside the Border Patrol’s Morale Crisis https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/15/us/border-patrol-culture.html

Excellent article looking at what the Trump administration immigration policies are having on the men and women inside Customs and Border Protection (HINT:Not Good)

‘People Actively Hate Us’: Inside the Border Patrol’s Morale Crisis

Overwhelmed by desperate migrants and criticized for mistreating the people in their care, many agents have grown defensive, insular and bitter.

By Manny Fernandez, Miriam Jordan, Zolan Kanno-Youngs and Caitlin Dickerson Photographs by Kendrick Brinson | Published Sept. 15, 2019Updated 6:26 p.m. ET | New York Times | Posted September 15, 2019 |

One Border Patrol agent in Tucson said he had been called a “sellout” and a “kid killer.” In El Paso, an agent said he and his colleagues in uniform had avoided eating lunch together except at certain “BP friendly” restaurants because “there’s always the possibility of them spitting in your food.” An agent in Arizona quit last year out of frustration. “Caging people for a nonviolent activity,” he said, “started to eat away at me.”

For decades, the Border Patrol was a largely invisible security force. Along the southwestern border, its work was dusty and lonely. Between adrenaline-fueled chases, the shells of sunflower seeds piled up outside the windows of their idling pickup trucks. Agents called their slow-motion specialty “laying in” — hiding in the desert and brush for hours, to wait and watch, and watch and wait.

Two years ago, when President Trump entered the White House with a pledge to close the door on illegal immigration, all that changed. The nearly 20,000 agents of the Border Patrol became the leading edge of one of the most aggressive immigration crackdowns ever imposed in the United States.

No longer were they a quasi-military organization tasked primarily with intercepting drug runners and chasing smugglers. Their new focus was to block and detain hundreds of thousands of migrant families fleeing violence and extreme poverty — herding people into tents and cages, seizing children and sending their parents to jail, trying to spot those too sick to survive in the densely packed processing facilities along the border.

Ten migrants have died since September in the custody of the Border Patrol and its parent agency, Customs and Border Protection.

In recent months, the extreme overcrowding on the border has begun to ease, with migrants turned away and made to wait in Mexico while their asylum claims are processed. Last week, the Supreme Court allowed the administration to close the door further, at least for now, by requiring migrants from countries outside Mexico to show they have already been denied refuge in another country before applying for asylum.

The Border Patrol, whose agents have gone from having one of the most obscure jobs in law enforcement to one of the most hated, is suffering a crisis in both mission and morale. Earlier this year, the disclosure of a private Facebook group where agents posted sexist and callous references to migrants and the politicians who support them reinforced the perception that agents often view the vulnerable people in their care with frustration and contempt.

Interviews with 25 current and former agents in Texas, California and Arizona — some conducted on the condition of anonymity so the agents could speak more candidly — paint a portrait of an agency in a political and operational quagmire. Overwhelmed through the spring and early summer by desperate migrants, many agents have grown defensive, insular and bitter.

The president of the agents’ union said he had received death threats. An agent in South Texas said some colleagues he knew were looking for other federal law enforcement jobs. One agent in El Paso told a retired agent he was so disgusted by scandals in which the Border Patrol has been accused of neglecting or mistreating migrants that he wanted the motto emblazoned on its green-and-white vehicles — “Honor First” — scratched off.

“To have gone from where people didn’t know much about us to where people actively hate us, it’s difficult,” said Chris Harris, who was an agent for 21 years and a Border Patrol union official until he retired in June 2018. “There’s no doubt morale has been poor in the past, and it’s abysmal now. I know a lot of guys just want to leave.”

EDUARDO JACOBO, AN AGENT IN CALIFORNIA’S EL CENTRO SECTOR:

The difference between doing the job now and when I started is like night and day. Before, it was a rush of adrenaline when you caught people with drugs. You were doing more police stuff. Now it’s humanitarian work. If you ask anybody about being in Border Patrol, they’re playing a movie scene in their head, jumping into a burning building and saving people. Now, it means taking care of kids and giving them baby formula.

By and large, the agency has been a willing enforcer of the Trump administration’s harshest immigration policies. In videos released last year, Border Patrol agents could be seen destroying water jugs left in a section of the Arizona desert where large numbers of migrants have been found dead.

Some of those who worked at the agency in earlier years said that it had changed over the past decade, and that an attitude of contempt toward migrants — the view that they are opportunists who brought on their own troubles and are undeserving of a warm welcome — is now the rule, not the exception.

“The intense criticism that is being directed at the Border Patrol is necessary and important because I do think that there’s a culture of cruelty or callousness,” said Francisco Cantú, a former agent who is the author of “The Line Becomes a River,” a memoir about his time in the agency from 2008 to 2012. “There’s a lack of oversight. There is a lot of impunity.”

The Border Patrol was established in 1924. Early agents were recruited from the Texas Rangers and local sheriff’s offices. They focused largely on Prohibition-era whiskey bootleggers, often supplying their own horses and saddles. Though horseback units still exist, the culture of the agency bears little resemblance to its past.

It has become a sprawling arm of Customs and Border Protection, the country’s largest federal law enforcement agency, which is responsible for 7,000 miles of America’s northern and southern borders, 95,000 miles of shoreline and 328 ports of entry. On a practical level, the Border Patrol’s hubs along the Mexican border, known as sectors, operate in some ways as fiefs.

In border cities, sector chiefs become household names, delivering annual State of the Border speeches. In the 1990s, an El Paso sector chief, Silvestre Reyes, used his popularity to win a seat in Congress.

In El Paso and other border communities, becoming an agent has long been viewed as a ticket to the middle class. A starting agent with a high school diploma and no experience can expect to earn $55,800, including overtime, climbing to $100,000 in as few as four years.

But given the long, solitary work, often in punishing heat and far-flung locations, and a growing workload, the agency has had difficulty recruiting: It remains about 1,800 agents short of its earlier hiring targets.

Some trace the increasing bitterness and frustration among agents to 2014, when large numbers of migrant families, as well as unaccompanied children, began arriving at the border. Many agents said they weren’t given the money or infrastructure to handle the emerging crisis. Desperate mothers and sick children had to be herded into fenced enclosures because there was nowhere else to put them.

Some agents blamed migrant parents for bringing their children into the mess. Their anger began building under President Barack Obama. Then, with Mr. Trump’s election, it found a voice in the White House.

Mr. Trump “said it to us, he said it in public, ‘I’m going to consider you guys, the union, the subject-matter experts on how we secure the border,’” said Mr. Harris, the former agent and Border Patrol union official from Southern California who retired last year. “We had never heard that from anyone before.”

The private Facebook group, which was created in 2016 and had more than 9,000 members, became a forum for agents to vent about the increasingly thankless nature of their jobs and the failure of successive administrations to fully secure the border.

Some agents who were members of the group said the tone of the posts shifted after Mr. Trump’s election, becoming raunchier and more politically tinged. A post mocked the death of a 16-year-old migrant while in custody at a Border Patrol station in Weslaco, Tex., with an image reading “Oh well.” A member used an expletive to propose throwing burritos at two Latina congresswomen.

AN AGENT IN SOUTH TEXAS:

What really pisses me off is that the agency knew about this group for a while. Those stories are true. There were patrol agents in charge on there. They knew it was wrong.

Most agents interviewed said a minority of those in the Facebook group were responsible for the most offensive posts.

BRANDON JUDD, PRESIDENT OF THE NATIONAL BORDER PATROL COUNCIL, THE AGENTS’ UNION:

We have been pointed at with this broad brush and there are certain segments trying to make this out that all agents are bad and ‘Here’s the proof, look at these Facebook posts,’ when really the vast majority of our agents are very good people.

In some ways, though, the posts reflected a culture that was long apparent in parts of the agency. For years, the Border Patrol has quietly tolerated racist terminology. Some agents refer to migrants as “wets,” a shortened version of “wetbacks.” Others call them “toncs.”

Jenn Budd, a former agent of six years who is now an outspoken critic, said a supervisor at her Border Patrol station in California had explained the term “tonc” to her: “He said, ‘It’s the sound a flashlight makes when you hit a migrant in the head with it.’”

Josh Childress, a former agent in Arizona who quit in 2018 because the job had begun to wear him down, said the Facebook posts hinted at a deeper, darker problem in the agency’s culture. “The jokes are not the problem,” he said. “Treating people as if they aren’t people is the problem.”

Calexico, Calif., 120 miles east of San Diego in Southern California’s agrarian Imperial Valley, offers a glimpse of the relationship between a border community and the agents. Hemmed in by rugged mountains, desolate desert and the Colorado River, the valley has an economy that revolves around seasonal farm jobs and government work. Temperatures top 110 degrees during the parched summer months.

About 800 Border Patrol agents work in the vast El Centro Sector, which runs about 70 miles across the Valley. They patrol on bikes and in their white vehicles in Calexico, whose downtown sits up against the rust-colored bollards that separate the United States and Mexico.

When Mr. Trump visited the city in April to tout 2.3 miles of a new border barrier — a row of 30-foot-tall, slender steel slats with pointed edges — Angel Esparza organized a binational unity march that drew 200 people. But he said the march was to protest Mr. Trump, not the Border Patrol.

Mr. Esparza has featured Border Patrol agents on the covers of two issues of Mi Calexico, a magazine that he produces and distributes sporadically in this town of 40,000.

“The Border Patrol agents are part of the community,” he said.

NATALIA NUNEZ, A COLLEGE STUDENT IN CALEXICO, CALIF.

Being in the Border Patrol is a normal thing around here. I have three cousins who are agents. I have friends whose parents are agents. They aren’t supposed to talk about it. I wonder how they can sleep at night if they have to lock up kids in cages like animals.

David Kim, the El Centro Sector’s assistant chief patrol agent, is the son of a South Korean immigrant who worked for the Postal Service. He has been with the Border Patrol since 2000.

Asked about the agency’s relationship with the community, he recalled the government shutdown that began in December 2018, when Mr. Trump was locked in a standoff with Congress over funding for an expanded border wall. Border Patrol agents, who were working without pay, were offered food vouchers by restaurants. Jujitsu academies and gyms offered free passes. Mr. Kim’s chiropractor waived his co-pay.

Mr. Kim, seated in the sector headquarters building, went silent for about a minute as he talked about it. Tears rolled down his face. “The community,” he said finally, “stepped up for the Border Patrol when we were furloughed.”

But with the fraught atmosphere across the country over immigration policy, hostility can emerge even within agents’ own families.

BRANDON JUDD, PRESIDENT OF THE NATIONAL BORDER PATROL COUNCIL:

I just had a relative four days ago send me one of the nastiest emails I’ve ever had in my life. How bad of people we are. How taxpayer dollars should not be used to abuse individuals.

Operating in communities that are often heavily Hispanic and quietly hostile to Mr. Trump’s immigration agenda, the Border Patrol has become more openly political than at any time in its history.

Agents have nurtured a strong loyalty to the president, whom many of them see as the first chief executive who is serious about border security. The union endorsed Mr. Trump in 2016, a move that gave the Border Patrol a line of communication to the White House but has also created friction in Democrat-dominated border communities.

A 10-YEAR VETERAN AGENT IN SOUTH TEXAS:

I have personally not come across any agents that do not like Trump’s positions on border security, on immigration. Hispanic, Latino, black, white — it doesn’t matter the origin of the agents, they all have a strong border-security mentality. So they love what Trump brings to the table. What they hate, what is detrimental, is the complete opposite feeling from the Democratic side.

Democratic lawmakers flocked to the Texas border throughout the spring, many holding news conferences to criticize the filthy, crowded conditions  in which migrants, including children, were being held — some with unchanged diapers, little access to showers and little or no hot food.

Agents said they had done the best they could — some bought toys for the children in their care — but were overwhelmed by the number of new arrivals.

AN AGENT IN THE EL PASO SECTOR:

‘Oh, that kid’s cute’ turned into, ‘Oh, there’s another one, there’s another one.’ We’ve done more for these aliens than these senators and congressmen that come down here. They make this big scene but then the next day they get on a plane to go back home. They didn’t take any of them with them, right? They’re going home to their running water, to their nice, comfortable bed, and meantime, we’re here dealing with them.

The Border Patrol’s culture is unabashedly self-reliant and male-dominated. Agents operate largely alone in the desert and brush, using neither body cameras nor dashboard cameras.

About 5 percent of agents are women. Some interviewed spoke highly of the agency and their male colleagues. Others described a culture in which women were demeaned, passed over for promotions and assaulted by co-workers. A supervisor in Chula Vista, Calif., pleaded guilty in 2015 to seven counts of video voyeurism, admitting that he had placed a camera in a drain in a women’s restroom.

In a written account of her time at the agency, Ms. Budd described women being forced to perform oral sex on fellow agents and subjected to humiliating labels. “I never, ever met a female agent that was not targeted by the male agents,” she said.

The job has taken a psychological toll on men and women alike.

From 2007 to 2018, more than 100 Customs and Border Protection employees, many of whom had worked as Border Patrol agents, killed themselves. Ross Davidson, who retired in 2017 after 21 years with the agency, said he was certain that stress from the job has been a factor.

“The repetitive monotony of doing the same thing over and over and seeing no outcome, seeing no end to it and nothing changing,” he said. “It’s just going deeper and deeper, and getting worse and worse.”

SERGIO TINOCO, AN AGENT IN THE RIO GRANDE VALLEY OF TEXAS:

Now, with all this rhetoric, I actually have to go home where I want to unwind, and hear my wife tell me the comments she was told, and my kids tell me the comments they’re told. So at what point do I relax? The only time I relax is when my eyes are closed and I’m dead asleep.

Nicholas Kulish, Mitchell Ferman and Erin Coulehan contributed reporting.

[lids-flutter-open]

gay goth boy trans ftm4ftm story chapter 4 under cut. 

content warning: f*g used by gays in punk songs/underage substance use

Chapter 4

Goat Mansion already had a lot of people sitting outside when I got there, which was way too early. The sun was still on the edge of the horizon. I parked my car two streets away, since I don’t like being a designated driver for more than my friends. I walked over to the house, approaching from the street side, and saw the gaggle of people from half a block away. They were sitting on the sidewalk and gathered in a little circle near the fence that divides Goat Mansion space from the edge of the public lands by the train tracks. The teenage goth kids were fraternizing with some crust punks and some people who might have been homeless teenagers from the group that lives in the train tunnel downtown. I didn’t recognize anyone, which made sense because OVID was coming from out of town so probably brought out different fans. One of the teenage goth kids had a thing of cheap boxed red wine but had taken the wine bag out of the box and was passing it around to her friends, having everyone chug, shouting BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD. One of the girls with her let the wine overflow her mouth and run down to soak into her black mesh shirt. They were all about my age or a little younger. I thought it looked like fun, but I don’t like drinking, so I didn’t get too close as I made my way around the house to the back. I knew people would be starting a bonfire. 

Bonfires in late summer are hard, because lately there’s been a burn ban for longer and longer into the autumn. This September, there hadn’t been enough rain to totally put everyone in the clear. And nobody wants to start a wildfire. But Goat Mansion has a rock pit that’s pretty big, and it’s easy to put out the fire with sand and water if it gets too much or starts sparking. When I got there, Acorn was piling the logs up and working with a piece of flint to spark it. Xie doesn’t use any gasoline because, again, too much risk for a big burn that gets out of control. 

“Hey,” I said to Acorn. “Seen anyone from Rocketpizza yet?”

Acorn turned. “Oh, hey, James,” xie said. Xie nodded hir head towards the sliding doors at the back of the house. “Just Ian. I think he was with Ken earlier, but Ken said something about 4Lokos and walked to the store and hasn’t come back.”

“Who’s buying Ken 4Lokos? That sounds like a bad start to the night,” I said. “Has anyone here brought up that sober space thing they’re trying at Fleur’s North? Suggested having a sober only show sometimes?”

“No, we’ve always kinda been a party house. Not likely to change. Somewhere needs to be messy. People don’t like it, they move. Why?”

“There’s definitely some visible and intense public underage drinking happening out front right now.”

“Shit,” Acorn said. “Is it those goth kids?” Xie pushed hir hair out of hir eyes. Acorn has really long hair and a beard that increases in both length and glossy volume every time I see hir.  Xie wears mascara to shows. Tonight xie had on a Carly Rae Jepsen shirt and a plaid skirt. 

“Yeah,” I said. “Nobody from Compton, but definitely under eighteen. You want me to go tell them to come back here and be more discreet?”

“Just like, get them some water and tell them to chill. They’re gonna pass out before the show even starts, or start moshing and hurting someone. I hate when there’s too many teens at shows. No offense,” xie added. “I forget you’re a teen because you’re chill.”

“I don’t drink much. If I did I’d probably be rowdier. It is a teen band tonight. Or like, two, actually. With Quince Quest.”

“Maybe I’ll make some food and cultivate a chill pre-show vibe and get some calories in the kids. Some bread. It’s not that I don’t want them to enjoy music.” Acorn prodded the little fire that was starting in the pit. “Just like, read the agreements for the space that we put on all the doors of the space, you know?”

The agreements, for Goat Mansion, on all the doors, were as follows:

NO NAZIS OR RAPISTS.

DO NOT fucking come to a show looking to start a fucking fight. 

NO COPS

Don’t get fucking wasted before 10 PM. 

Don’t touch anyone without asking

NO SMOKING OR DRINKING ON THE STOOP. Come to the backyard.

DO NOT MESS AROUND ON THE STREET! Come to the backyard.

IF YOU MAKE A MESS HELP CLEAN IT.

IF THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER, OR THE TOILET FLOODS, PLEASE YELL FOR ASSISTANCE. DO NOT SNEAK AWAY. 

FOR REAL ABSOLUTELY NO DRINKING OR SMOKING ON STOOP. FOR REAL. THERE IS A BACKYARD.

It was a pretty concise list that covered most things that anyone cared about. And it was pretty easy to follow, though of course I had no way of knowing if any nazis or rapists ignored the first bullet point. 

I went around the corner of the house and into the kitchen. I filled a big old plastic pitcher that seemed relatively clean with tap water and grabbed a sleeve of plastic cups from under the sink. I knew where everything was here, even though I didn’t have any friends who lived here any more except Acorn. Last year I had been the one to clean the kitchen for the first time in a decade and stock it with plastic cups. If you don’t have cups everyone ends up drinking out of the tap like dogs or just getting disgustingly dehydrated. 

“Hey,” I called to the goth kids, stepping out on the front porch, “You all look like you might need some water soon.”

“Thanks,” the mesh shirt girl said. 

“You’re starting early. Can you bring the party around back? We don’t like annoying neighbor people too much. They call the cops sometimes,” I said. “There’s more room back there, too.” I felt okay bossing them because none of the goth kids would have the nerve to question the authority of someone who was wearing safety pin earrings like they were. 

“No problem,” the girl holding the blood bag of wine said. She giggled to her friends, probably about how messy they were being. 

I sat around with the goths by the smoking baby bonfire and smoked a bowl alone before I saw Ian. He was walking quickly around the corner of the house, looking like the human embodiment of that cat meme where the cat is grimacing. I got up and jogged after him. 

“What’s the deal with Ken?” I asked, catching him by the elbow. “Heard he like left and didn’t come back?”

“Don’t fucking ask,” Ian said. He had glitter makeup on, which I thought was cute, if a little 2012. He looked really good. “Ken’s fucking gone as far as I’m concerned. Which is whatever. We knew this day was coming.”

“Wait, Rocketpizza is still performing, right?”

“Yeah,” Ian said. “Some kid from Centralia who’s playing drums for Quince Quest is here, she said she’d do drums for me.  We went over the basic stuff with the songs earlier. She can’t be any worse than Ken would be. He was getting plastered at noon when I went over there today. I have no idea where he is.”

“Dude, that fucking sucks,” I said. 

“I mean, you guys were all absolutely correct about him. I’m stressed right now but I’ll be fine.”

“Where’s swimmer boy?”

“We broke up.”

“Shit, dude.”

“Don’t wanna talk about it. I’ll process with you tomorrow.”

“You need help with merch?”

“Yes, absolutely. Later, though. No point right now. After the show. Right now we’re doing music setup shit since we’re on first.”

“At least you’ll have a crowd.”

“These druggy Seattle kids?” Ian rolled his eyes.

“They’re just drunk. I’m working on hydrating them.”

The sun was going down, and more people were arriving. I put Ian’s merch in a taped up box underneath the table by the door that had been set up to collect people’s pay-what-you-can donations to Goat Mansion. I wanted to talk to him more, but it was clear that wasn’t gonna happen. I sat with the table. Acorn was drawing smiley faces on the hands of people who paid. People who didn’t pay and didn’t get smiley faces wouldn’t get kicked out, but they might get snarked at by someone if they were being obnoxious and they wouldn’t be allowed to drink any house alcohol. Everyone expected the show to start one to three hours after the posted start time, but everyone turned up at the time on the posters anyway to smoke or catch up with people or drop their backpacks and walk eighteen blocks away to the store to buy beer. The sun slanted through the windows like liquid gold and someone put a VHS of Fire Walk With Me on in the living room, where it already smelled like cigarettes. It was all cis men in there, who seemed like they all knew each other and might be shitheads, so I stayed outside once the merch was set up. Everyone in the backyard was vivid shades of gold and pink and brown against the bright green of the trees. The smoke was rising more and more out of the fire pit. That was when I saw the guy from King David’s. Orsino. He was getting out of a pickup truck.

His hair was still fucked up and wispy orange and crackly from bleach, and he had a fucked up little mustache still, but he was wearing a different stupid shirt. This one was black, had a big gray alien head on it, and it said ROSWELL. It was tighter around his chest and stomach and arms than the dolphin shirt had been at the diner. He was wearing ripped up pants that terminated just below his knee. They looked like they’d been chewed by dogs. His calves were thick and covered in dark hair. He had on hiking boots with wool socks. He didn’t see me. As soon as he got out of the car, he turned back and started talking to someone on the driver’s side of the car. He was still somewhere between pretty hot and extremely hot. 

I saw the person get out on the other side of the car and realized that it was Jukebox. Jukebox had a guitar case with them and stuck around for just a second before heading into the garage, where I knew that Ian was setting up. Orsino said something to them and then walked toward the house, lighting a cigarette as he went.

I wondered what Orsino’s personality was like. I didn’t know Orsino at all. But I felt something about him already—something sort of like what Therese feels for Carol when she first sees Carol in The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith or Carol (2015). When her eyes go wide and she knows it doesn’t matter what happens next, because the important thing has already happened. She’s seen her. Or maybe that was dramatic, but like, I was a little stoned. I wondered if I should go say hi. 

“James!” Opal shouted at me from across the yard. 

I looked over to see Opal and Barb and Goober coming towards me, accompanied by a dude I didn’t know. Opal was wheeling their chair over the mangled grass. I hoped that there weren’t any nails around that might puncture the tires.

“Oh hey,” I said, waving. 

“Jamie!” Barb rushed in and gave me a hug. She has pink short hair and lots of sun freckles and deep wrinkles around her eyes. If you ignore her skin, she looks like she’s about sixteen. She’s always sort of manic and I think she’s really smart but you probably have to wait until four in the morning for her to start talking about smart people things. She reminds me of a version of my mom that took up dance and punk music and boxing instead of becoming a teacher. 

“This is Duke,” Opal said, raising an eyebrow and gesturing to the man. I looked up at him. He didn’t look trans. He had a really curly head of long back hair and a thick beard and a lot of tattoos and smiley eyes. He looked like a biker that a country singer would date.

“Sup,” Duke said. “Nice to meet you.”

“You’re meeting everyone tonight,” Goober said, throwing her blond hair over one shoulder. “James works at Compton House too, with the teen council thing.”

“Hey Duke,” I said. “Nice to meet you. You like OVID?” I gave him a man handshake, with a firm grip. He looked like he would respect that.

“Yeah, since they got started I’ve come to almost every show,” Duke said. “Me and Stacey go way back.”

“Barb used to date Stacey, right?” I asked. “Is that how you guys know each other?” I wasn’t going to allude to the fact that Barb and Duke were fucking. 

“Kind of,” Barb said. She sat down on a stump next to me. “I love that we’re all here at this show together. I feel a great kind of continuity.” She grinned up at Duke, who looked at her with the most disgustingly lovey gaze I have ever seen in this world. I looked at Opal, who shrugged. 

“You seen Ian yet?” I asked Opal. 

“No. What’s up?” Opal could tell in my voice that something was wrong. 

“Ken is drunk somewhere and Ian is gonna do the show with a replacement drummer,” I said. 

“What? Who?”

“Some kid from the other band. Quince Quest.”

“The fuck he is. I’m gonna drum for him. I have to join his band,” Opal said. They started rolling their chair backward and pivoting it toward the garage.

“Maybe later,” I said. “Not tonight. He’s stressed. Swimmer boy troubles. Drummer troubles. Too much. He’ll snap at you.”

“I know his songs, dude,” Opal said. “I know he’s stressed, but I can do it better than a quince kid. I’ve been practicing on the drums at Barb’s.” 

“Do you need help getting to the garage?” I asked. There was a lot of gravel between here and there.

“I’m good, dude.” Opal turned away from me, and I felt a little abandoned.

“Do you want backup?”

“Let them go talk to him,” Goober said. “You’ll be all touchy feely and Opal will just boss him. That’s what he needs.”

“You said it,” Opal yelled over their shoulder. 

Duke turned to me. His eyes were irrepressibly crinkly. “So James. Barb talks about you and Opal and Compton House all the time. How long have you been on the Compton House teen council? What do you think of it?”

I shrugged. I didn’t want to give this guy too much of a leg up on the competition if he was really applying to be director. “I mean, it’s very important. We did an awareness training for a church two weeks ago about mental health and teens. I feel like I’m connected to local politics and stuff, even if it means I know the dirt about everyone.”

Barb laughed. 

“You remind me of me. I was involved in the first committee for Ladyfest when it happened here in 2000,” Duke said. “I was on security. I sat in on all the meetings for planning.”

“That’s nice,” I said. “Continuity.” 

I looked away from Duke and Barb, hoping they’d see someone they knew and go talk to them. 

***

It was two hours later when word spread slowly through the mass of people that the show was starting. The sun had gone down and I had three mosquito bites, even though it should have been too cold. There was standing water in one of the barrels behind Goat Mansion, and that always meant the mosquitos survived longer here than anywhere. Everyone but me was getting drunk. I hadn’t gotten any closer to Orsino, though he’d caught my eye just before everyone went down to the garage and crowded in through the single side door. I thought I saw him smile, but I could have been wrong. 

The room was dark and ugly and packed. There are lights on the stage and then a tangle of wires near the stage that some fire safety expert was supposed to probably evaluate at some point after the Ghost Ship fire, but I don’t think it ever happened. There’s a lot of random piles of shit near the door that should be a main point of egress, and people sit on it like it’s benches at a ball game. It’s definitely not structurally stable. The lights that shine down on the tiny little stage are beautiful. Tonight there was pink and red gels over them, so it looked like a sex party or a weird pretty Hell. 

Ian was wearing his fishnet arm wraps, a lot of glitter, and Goober’s leather miniskirt that that she’d worn to Pride in June. His wrists were covered in bangles. His chest was bare. His hair was sort of flopping over his face. He was fumbling with a lot of wires onstage. Opal was behind the drums. I hadn’t actually heard Opal play before, since they’d only started after they moved to Barb’s house. I didn’t know if they were good or not, but I guessed that they might be if they were going up. Opal was pretty clear-headed and wouldn’t put themselves on the spot if they thought they’d fail. Devon had on his normal clothes and looked pissed as fuck, but he was tuning his bass just the same. 

“ROCKETPIZZA!!!!!” Barb yelled. Some of the goths yelled too, as did the cis men who had been watching a movie inside. There were suddenly a lot of people around me, and I was worried about my feet getting stepped on by the dudes with the steel toed boots. I’m not dumb enough to wear non-sturdy footwear to a show, but I’m small.

Ian looked into the crowd, squinting. I don’t know if he knows Barb’s voice well enough to recognize a screech. He dropped some wires and stepped to the mic. 

“HEY BITCHES AND BABES AND FAGGOTS,” he yelled into the crowd. His voice got soft on the last word. There was a mix of cheers and uncomfortable muttering. Ian was oblivious to the latter. “HOW ARE YOU DOING?”

Barb and Duke both bellowed at the stage, incoherent jumbled exuberance. Old punks at least know how to bellow. 

“I’LL TELL YOU HOW I’M DOING,” Ian yelled into the mic, which twanged painfully over the speakers. “MY BOYFRIEND AND I JUST BROKE UP AND I LOST MY OLD DRUMMER BECAUSE HE IS A DUMBASS.”

There were some confused boos and apologetic noises, particularly from the goths near the front of the stage. All the teen goths were pretty far gone. I saw one of them swaying in her heels.

“BUT THAT IS OKAY,” Ian continued. “ROCKETPIZZA DIED TONIGHT. I LOOK GREAT. OPAL LOOKS GREAT ON DRUMS. GIVE IT UP FOR OPAL.”

I yelled at the top of my lungs, feeling like it was a kind of weird ecstatic prayer. The guy with a beard next to me moved away from me in surprise.

“WE ARE A NEW GROUP NOW. OUR NAME IS MISS SAN JUAN AND THE DUSTIES. YOU’RE HERE TO WITNESS THE BIRTH OF A GOOFY NEW QUEERCORE BAND. ISN’T THAT EXCITING?”

Ian was good at riling up a crowd. People were getting more interested in this seventeen year old twink yelling at them. 

“ALSO YOU WILL PROBABLY WITNESS THE DEATH OF MY VOCAL CHORDS BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO SCREAM MY GUTS OUT. THIS IS A NEW SONG. IT IS CALLED FOOLSLUT IN RETROGRADE.” Ian shook his head and smiled and blinked in the way that had made me fall sort of in love with him when we were fifteen. 

The drunk baby goths went hog wild, and I screamed at the top of my lungs again and whistled through the gap in my teeth, like my grandmother had taught me to do when I was five.

Then Ian opened his mouth to sing. 

(insert here: a piece of torn notebook paper, with the title: FOOLSLUT IN RETROGRADE LYRICS)

THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SHAKE ME 

FROM THE POOL OF BLACK INK

ATOP YOUR FIRE ESCAPE

I BREATHE IN THE STINK

OF YOUR SMELLY BALLS

I FEEL NOTHING AT ALL 

THE PLANETS WERE ALIGNED

NOW WE’RE BADLY COMBINED

SOLO QUIERO LLEVAR TUS BRAGAS

SOLO QUIERO TOCAR TU BOCA

SOLO QUIERO TENER TUS LLAGAS

PARA TERMINAR ESTA EPOCA

I’M IN PAIN I’M INSANE

WE ARE SMASHING THE WORLD

I’M IN PAIN I’M INSANE

YOUR DEPRESSED BITCH GIRL

BOY 

SHUT UP YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING

BOY

SHUT UP YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING

FILL MY MIND WITH SMOKE 

SMOKE IT IN YOUR BONG

GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE

SO LONG SO LONG

WE DON’T WANT IT OR NEED IT

I NEED YOU TO BEAT IT

END THE WORLD

END THE WORLD

END THE WORLD

FUCK 

(end paper)

When Ian’s set ended fifteen minutes later, the pit had fully opened up. 

People were swaying and had been punching and pushing into each other. I’d gotten slammed against the wall twice and had been shoved into someone’s armpit four times. Which was like, not normal for an opening band. Usually people just stood awkwardly staring with their PBRs in their hands, rocking a little or jamming their heads if the band was good. But some combination of everyone already being wasted and of Opal’s drumming—which was actually really good—and of Ian jumping fully into the air…everyone got electrified somehow. I felt my B.O swelling up toward the ceiling with everyone else’s and the heat from us all supercharging the air like it was some kind of ancient magically charged sweat house made of old cedar in the deep wilderness of the Russian steppe. Ian’s glitter was dripping down his chest in waves. I felt my own shirt soaking with the sweat. My lungs hurt from yelling, and I was reeling still. I watched Ian turn and unplug his amp and walk offstage just before the crush of bodies trying to get out into the cold air totally obscured my view of him. I tried to keep my head above the crowd, thanking god that I wasn’t super sensitive to noise, smells, or sensory overstimulation.

“That was incredible,” a voice behind me said. I didn’t recognize it. I turned slightly. Jukebox January was behind me, smiling. Their chin hairs were darker than I remembered them.  They were shorter than me. They had smudged pink eyeliner in one long band around their eyes. Their shirt was torn so I could see one of their nipples through the fabric.

“Yeah,” I said. “It got so hot in here so fast. We gotta wait a bit for the air to cool down before yours, huh.”

“That set!” Jukebox exclaimed. “Like, that was phenomenal! So good and raw but also like, they’re real! They’re so good. We gotta get this kid a record deal so fast if he wants to sell out! He’s your friend, right?”

I smiled. I felt so happy for Ian. He loved OVID. Tonight had been hard, but it was going to turn out so good for him.  “Yeah,” I said. “I’m James. We go to school together. I’ve known him a long ass time. He’s so good.”

“What’s going on with the band?” Jukebox asked. Their teeth were all showing in their smile. “Some shuffling stuff? Do you think the current situation will hold together? They literally sounded so so good.”

“I literally don’t even know,” I said. “But he loves you, he loves OVID. Like he and his  followed you to the Gorge this summer and then down to the Bay when you were on tour. You should talk to him.” I was glad I was able to be so chill when my heart was pounding into my ears from the adrenaline. 

“Let’s go,” Jukebox said. “I gotta touch base with my bandmates in a second but I wanna give him props. What’s his full name? Does he go by Miss San Juan? Or she?”

“Ian,” I said. “Ian Arroyo. And he uses he/him, at least for now.”

“Cool. What about you?”

“James,” I said. I led Jukebox out into the yard. The cool night air with the smell of decay and everything hit my skin and my mouth all at the same time. It was a second before I saw Ian over by the truck with Opal in the dark. Opal was smoking, and Ian was moving something in the bed of the truck. I screamed loud and high pitched as we got close so he could hear me. 

“That was incredible, bitch!” 

Ian turned. He smiled weakly. “I’m so so so shaking,” he yelled back. His bare chest was getting goosebumps in the cold. He was so beautiful. 

“Look who I brought,” I yelled, thrusting a thumb back at Jukebox, who lifted a hand in greeting. Ian stood up immediately. He leapt over the side of the truck bed to land on both feet in the gravel in front of us. 

“Hey,” he said. 

“Hey,” Jukebox said. “That was incredible. I wanted to make sure you knew. I’m Jukebox.”

“I know,” Ian said. “I can’t wait for your set. I’m so so tired but I’m gonna stay here till the end.”

“I literally haven’t ever played drums live before,” Opal said.

“You were great for all that,” Jukebox said.

I turned away from them and turned toward the bonfire. I tried to make out through the dark who was still here that I knew. People were dancing a little near the fire and there was a cluster of lit cigarette ends floating in the shadows just beyond my field of vision.

“Come hang out with me,” Jukebox was saying to Ian. “My friends are over here. My girlfriend Robin was loving your set too, but she has issues with moshing so had to step out when it got intense. Someone threw a bottle and it nearly hit her.”

“Oh, that sucks,” Opal said. 

We moved over toward the patch of the yard where Jukebox’s friends were. I could smell the smoke and the blackberries and the wood and sweat and smoke and I felt like I was still on some kind of crazy high. Orsino was sitting there, like I knew he would be. There was a space next to him on the log he was sitting on. He looked up and smirked at me and I sat down next to him without a second thought. 

[striddums]

ok, keeping this under a cut cause i just really don’t want to start a whole discourse on my blog, i hope you all understand. so, to the anons:

first: i realise i need to be more mindful & discreet about this topic than i initially was in my tags, especially as a white person, like you stated. and i apologise. i hadn’t watched any of the videos (including pdp’s) yet, and writing “i don’t think he’s a nazi” was just literally me carelessly sharing my gut feeling. cause i still think that he’s not... maybe i’m horribly naive for it. but i don’t think he is. the post i linked there is a piss poor “apology” and whatever, but he does state very clearly that he doesn’t share the same hateful thoughts as those people. he even calls the idea laughable - which to me perfectly summarises the entire problem with this guy. which brings us to...

...point two: in that post he says, i quote, “As laughable as it is to believe that I might actually endorse these people...”. he’s a dumbass. he thinks it’s fine to call it laughable, that he has a place to do so, and that it proves his point. “of course i don’t think that way! that’s so ridiculous i’d never in a million years even consider it! it’s laughable!” to me, that has seemed to be his thought process every time something like this happened... and, again, it’s fucking stupid. he SHOULD realise (especially with his massive audience, god) that he needs to be more careful talking about that stuff, more respectful, more empathetic. people get hurt by what he says and what he does. so many people (RIGHTFULLY) responded the way they did to his offensive jokes cause he caused HARM. and he simply hadn’t fathomed it would have the colossal impact it did. so i understand that people see that and think “well, he’s going around trampling on different groups, seemingly without remorse. this clearly shows his ideologies.” it’s a logical response! my feelings on it however... i’ve been watching his channel since 2012, and i just don’t think he’s that guy? not in a i-watched-him-so-long-and-i-wuv-him-too-much-to-see-mistakes kinda way. i’ve unsubscribed from many people i watched since 2009-2012 in the past cause they did something horrible (alex day for example). but i never got the feeling felix is the horrible person people worry he is. in the recent post (that i now deleted) i saw someone in the comments say “most of his videos have antisemitic tones”, but that’s simply untrue. i still watch a lot of his videos (think of that what you will...) and it’s literally 99% silly, inoffensive memes. the vast majority of his content is completely harmless. i can vouch he does not mention jewish people, or hitler, or anything like that, ever. cause...

...point three: why would he? he’s been under fire by the media and the internet and a big chunk of the whole world for what he did. disney fired him, his youtube red series got cancelled and thus scare pewdiepie 2 will never see the light of day. and, again, RIGHTFULLY SO. his “”””jokes”””” were distasteful and awful, and he had to face consequences for it. (which he agreed with btw! in the end with all the companies dropping him, he was most upset that other people who appeared in scare pdp 2 did all that hard work for it to never get recognised, all due to his idiocy.) so, as we all know, people were very upset with him for what he thought was just a funny-kinda-risky joke, and they still are. i lose followers every time i mention his name lol. he has expressed many times that he feels remorse and wishes for himself to do better and never fuck up like this again. that’s why i think he was not aware of the antisemitic references made by the creator he named in the recent video. if he did know it, regardless of him actually being antisemitic or not, he never would’ve mentioned them. he would’ve known what kind of shitstorm he could expect, ESPECIALLY since it’s regarding a topic he’s already screwed up in! i legit think he had no idea. also cause watching the video by the twitch streamer (from the post i now deleted), i had to rewatch the clips apparently showing antisemitic content many times. i didn’t get the references... at all... maybe i’m super uneducated, but i didn’t recognise them as anything nazi-related. <:/ they’re not blatant, in your face antisemitic references, they’re apparently very hidden and specific. all of them went right over my head, until the twitch guy paused and went “oh my god” and i then tried really hard to look into it... so i think it’s the same with felix. i believe most people wouldn’t notice the messages in them, unless they were familiar with nazi references. i think pdp likely just found a death note review that he enjoyed (it’s his favourite anime and he has Big Opinions on the netflix remake) so he decided to shout out the channel that made it based on that. i think this cause in his video, it’s literally the only thing he had to say about them... “i liked their anime review”. that’s it. so i believe the references went over his head too. (EDIT: after i wrote all this & posted it i saw pewdiepie had just uploaded a video addressing the matter, and he confirmed what i thought. he had no idea there were antisemitic references and never would’ve shared the channel if he had known.)

now, about that creator he gave a shout-out to, point four: from what i understand of the clips the twitcher showed, the offensive person isn't spreading blatant supremacist propaganda, or clearly stating to be in favour of those things. they’re putting in hidden references, and these might reflect his feelings (i wouldn’t be surprised.) but one thing became clear: he is in fact, a horrible edgelord lmao. the 4chan kind. the person who thinks putting a hitler speech bit in a steven universe video is funny. which is disgusting. i honestly doubt pdp has seen that su video, cause it’s on the man’s second channel that he never mentioned in this shout-out video, and cause it’s steven universe related lol. i don’t think he’d click on a su video, but that’s based on assumptions entirely so not very credible, i know. the su video’s title also has a rape joke in it... it’s just all round bad. that’s the only vid that had a more obvious nazi ref too (literal hitler) and the terrible title... so yeah fuck that guy. it’s unsure if pewdiepie actually knew about that video at all (and that one was referenced the most by the twitch streamer). all we can say for sure is that E;R guy is a massive twat. (EDIT: so yeah again, we now know for certain pdp had never seen the su video and junk)

to round it all up... to me pewdiepie is a guy with edgy humor, who thinks he can joke about everything (which, no ya don’t, especially as a cishet white dude), and who by far doesn’t take things as seriously as he should. and by a LANDSLIDE not as seriously as he should as a youtuber with 75 million subscribers. he’s made a lot of mistakes and it was never my intention to come off as if i’m defending or excusing them: i’m not, and i think they’re terrible. they’re extremely upsetting, and i’m deeply sorry for not being clear about that and putting those irritated tags under the post so carelessly. (my irritation was also mainly directed at felix for screwing up... again.)

but yeah, i do feel like he’s not actually someone with offensive thoughts... just someone who needs to grow up more & get better at handling such a big audience (which he has had like 4 years for... too slow). he has a far larger impact than he realises at times and there’s just certain jokes he CANNOT make. not only cause they’re simply unfunny and distasteful, but also cause they harm people. so all the people who say he handles things unprofessionally and has WAY too many screw-ups for someone with the large following he does - i wholeheartedly agree. but i don’t think he’s a nazi.

[patriotsnet]

Will The Republicans Win Back The House

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/will-the-republicans-win-back-the-house/

Will The Republicans Win Back The House

Effect Of Republican Retirements

Donald Trump pledges to help Republicans win back the House

Indeed, 2020 was actually a Democratic-leaning year, with Biden winning the national popular vote by 4.5 percentage points. So theres a good chance that states will be at least a bit redder in 2022 than they were in 2020.

That could make these retirements less of a blow to Republicans than they first appear. Whats more, by announcing their retirements so early, Burr, Toomey and Portman are giving the GOP as much time as possible to recruit potential candidates, shape the field of candidates in a strategic way in the invisible primary and raise more money for the open-seat campaign. And in Ohio specifically, Republicans still look like heavy favorites. Even in the Democratic-leaning environment of 2020, Trump won Ohio by 8 percentage points, implying that its true partisan lean is probably even more Republican-leaning. Ohio is simply not the quintessential swing state it once was; dating back to the 2014 election cycle, Democrats have won just one out of 14 statewide contests in Ohio and that was a popular incumbent running in a blue-wave election year .

Nathaniel Rakich and Geoffrey Skelley, FiveThirtyEight

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The Squad Coasts To Reelection

Three high-profile Democratic members of the squad in the House of Representatives held their seats in a comfortable fashion.

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will continue to represent New Yorks 14th District, defeating the Republican John Cummings by a wide margin, while Rep. Ilhan Omar also ran well ahead of the Republican Lacy Johnson in the race to represent Minnesotas 5th District.

Rep. Rashida Tlaib also defeated her Republican challenger, David Dudenhoefer, and will continue to represent Michigans 13th Congressional District.

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A Zombie Republican Party Will Overwhelm Joe Biden In The 2022 Midterms

President Biden promised he will restore the soul of America. Hes already running out of time. The commander-in-chief is 78 and unlikely to see out more than one term in office. By the time the pandemic crisis passes mid-2021, inshallah Biden could find his administration has run out of gas before it ever really got started. A week is a long time in politics. Two years can whizz by.

For now, Biden appears to hold the aces. He has a Democratic majority in the House Of Representatives and his vice president, Kamala Harris, can cast the deciding vote in a split Senate. The economy, stimulated to its guts, is expected to roar as this year goes on. His opposition, the Republican Party, looks prone wrecked by its calamitous marriage to Donald Trump. The Republican base still hates the Republican establishment and vice versa. The infamous storming of the Capitol on 6 January, we are told, has tarnished the American right for a generation or more.

The Republican Party, for all its problems, remains the strong favourite to win the House in the 2022 midterms, possibly by a large margin, and they may even take back the Senate

Trump or no Trump, the Grand Old Party marches on. The mistake pundits make is to confuse Republicanism with a normal democratic movement. It is more like the political equivalent of the undead a zombie army that horrifies every sane voter but somehow always wins because people hate the Democrats more.

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How Many Senators Are Chosen

The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, elected by the people thereof, for six years; and each Senator shall have one vote. The electors in each State shall have the qualifications requisite for electors of the most numerous branch of the State legislatures.

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An Incoming Class Of History

Several of the newly elected state representatives are making history.;

The Republican Madison Cawthorn, 25, who beat the Democrat Moe Davis to represent North Carolinas 11th Congressional District, will become the youngest member of Congress in modern history.

The Democrat Cori Bush is set to become the first Black congresswoman from Missouri after winning in the states 1st Congressional District.

The Democrats Mondaire Jones and Ritchie Torres will also be the first openly gay Black men to serve in Congress, after winning in New Yorks 17th and 15th districts respectively.

And nine out of the eleven Republicans who have so far unseated incumbent Democrats are women wins that will drastically expand the representation of women and especially of women of color in the House Republican caucus.

Currently, there are just 13 voting female Republican representatives in the House and 11 female Republican incumbents who ran for reelection in 2020.

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Gop Lawmakers Threaten To Punish Democrats If They Win Back Control Of Congress

‘When we take the majority back in 2022, I’ll make sure consequences are doled out,’ said Rep. Madison Cawthorn.

Republicans are outraged that Democrats are governing by majority rule in the House. In retaliation, they are vowing to do the same things they now decry as unprecedented and wrong.

“Never in the history of our country has a Speaker acted like such an authoritarian,” House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy tweeted on Thursday.

He was upset that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi had rejected his request to appoint Republican Reps. Jim Banks and Jim Jordan to the Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the U.S. Capitol. Both men voted to overturn the 2020 election results and pushed the lie that President Joe Biden only won because the election was stolen.

“Never in the history of Congress and the select committee I checked with the historian has this ever taken place, where the one party decides who’s all on the committee,” McCarthy told Fox News in a video he with his tweet. McCarthy in fact voted to give Republican then-Speaker John Boehner the exact same unilateral appointment power in 2014 for the Select Committee on the Events Surrounding the 2012 Terrorist Attack in Benghazi.

But while House Republicans claim they are being mistreated because the majority won’t let them have their way, they are also promising to retaliate by turning the same actions they criticize now against Democrats in 2023.

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Democratic Accomplishments Just Give Republicans Something To Undo

Yes, even if the Democratic trifecta is very likely to end next year, and even if Republicans win their own in 2024, theres no way around the fact that in an amazingly short period of time Biden and his party may wrack up a mini-New Deal that reverses many years of atavistic Republican and meh Democratic policies. That has to be an enduring blow to Republicans, right?

Maybe not so much any more. One of the benefits of being conquered by a free-spending protectionist and isolationist is that the GOP is now pretty flexible in terms of its old Reaganite core ideology. As Rand Paul just cheefully said, if Democrats raise taxes something that horrified old-school Republicans like the ugly face of sin itself theyll just lower them next time they have the power to do so! Bidens accomplishments give the opposition an agenda, which is useful at a time when it isnt exactly brimming with policy ideas. Republicans may very well embrace the most popular Biden initiatives while demonizing the ones that dont poll so well. Its an easier strategy than the one they followed in those more principled days when they lectured voters about the need for entitlement reform.

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Inside Republicans’ Plans For A House Takeover

The National Republican Congressional Committee has identified 47 House Democrats it intends to challenge, though the district maps won’t be known for months.

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House Republicans surprised nearly everyone last November when they almost captured the majority.

Then they spent January roiled by the deadly attack on the Capitol, confronting a second impeachment of then-President Donald Trump and answering for a whirlwind of offensive conspiracy theories from a firebrand freshman GOP congresswoman.

But the National Republican Congressional Committee has landed on a plan to regain the momentum with which it ended 2020: Ignore all that.

We’re gonna talk about all the stuff that matters to people, said NRCC Chair Tom Emmer, citing school reopenings and job security. We’ll follow through on a game plan. Hopefully, people will allow us to operate under the radar again because they won’t believe us. And we can surprise all of you again two years from now.”

And Emmer now in his second stint leading the House GOPs campaign arm brushed aside Democrats new strategy to link the whole party to QAnon: My colleague down the street might think that some fringe extremist theory is something that people care about, he said in reference to Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney , the chair of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. But fewer people believe in QAnon, Emmer said, than think the moon landing was faked.

By MERIDITH MCGRAW and GABBY ORR

The Midterms Introduced Extreme Divisive Politics

Scalise predicts GOP will win back House after ‘radical’ Pelosi-backed votes

As for the contracts lasting impact? Most of its ideas and proposals did not pass Congress, or were vetoed by Clinton, and, according to Teske, the ones that did pass were not radical departures and instead relatively minor in scope. But it did put Republicans back in power in Congress, which theyve largely held onto in the years since.

The Gingrich approach of extreme right ideas, combined with a scorched-earth personal level of politics in attacking opponentslater seen in Clintons investigations and impeachmenthas also had a major impact on American politics he says. It helped bring a much more win at all costs mentality, and a divisiveness that persists today.

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A Change Of Leadership In The House

Should Republicans take back the House of Representatives as expected, some changes will happen quickly. For starters, Nancy Pelosi will no longer occupy the role of House Speaker; furthermore, if the GOP regains the House majority, Leader Kevin McCarthy is widely expected to become the next Speaker of the House.

Last month, the Democrats passed the single most expensive spending bill in American history. It cost nearly $1.9 trillion dollars.

Lets see how your money is being spent.

Kevin McCarthy

Secondly, a GOP-controlled House would restore balance to Washington D.C. The days of Democrats being able to pass whatever bills they want with votes only from their party will come to an end. Getting Republicans back in control of the House means that Biden and Democrats will have to do more than just talk about bipartisanship.

What do you think about the latest survey from the National Republican Congressional Committee? Do you think the GOP will take back the House during next years midterm elections? Let us get your predictions for 2022 in the comments section below.

Election Senate Odds: Will Republicans Regain Upper Chamber

Democrats are narrowly in control of the U.S. Congress, but Republicans are licking their chops for next years midterm races because, over the last 30 years, the party out of presidential power has usually made substantial gains in midterm elections during a presidents first term, with the most substantial occurring in 1994 and 2010.

Given Democrats extremely slim margins of control, the prediction that the Democrats will lose at least one, if not both, chambers of Congress can be supported by historic precedents.

However, changes in the Senate have been less consistent than in the House. And given next years election trajectory in Congress upper chamber, the likelihood of a Republican takeover there deserves a second look.

Can Democrats hold their 50-50 majority in the Senate?

First, lets take a look at the collective odds for Congress.2022 Election Congress odds

Republicans only need a net gain of one seat to capture the Senate, but Democrats are well-positioned to make gains because the GOP will be defending more seats. Moreover, several seats are being vacated by Republicans in swing states where Democrats have experienced some electoral success over the past 5 years.

With the polarizing nature of the current American political landscape, neither oddsmakers nor bettors believe theres much of a chance that control of Congress will be split following the 2022 midterm elections but thats the most likely scenario at this point .

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What Is The New Balance Of Power In The House

House Democrats held onto their majority but lost seats to Republican challengers.

More than a dozen incumbent Democrats lost re-election bids, despite earlier projections they could gain up to 15 seats.

Democrats took the chamber after they netted 41 seats in the 2018 midterm elections, their largest single-year pickup since the post-Watergate midterms of 1974. But some of those new Democrats were among the partys losers in 2020.

Rep Emmer On Why He Thinks Republicans Will Win The House

Minnesota Rep. Tom Emmer chairs the National Republican Congressional Committee and is leading the GOPs efforts to win control of the House in November. Emmer joins Judy Woodruff from Minneapolis to discuss his reaction to the Republican National Convention so far and why he thinks his party will win a majority in the House this fall.

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What Was The Outlook Prior To The Election

Republicans needed to get to 218 seats to win back the majority they lost in 2018. The National Republican Congressional Committee, the campaign arm of House Republicans, in early 2019 identified dozens of Democratic-held districts to target. They included;30 Democrats;who were elected or re-elected in 2018 in districts that voted for President Donald Trump in 2016. All but one Dave Loebsack of Iowa sought re-election. Most were first-term members who defeated or succeeded Republicans in the 2018 election. Republicans won some of these Trump Democrat districts but needed to unseat most to win back control of the House.

The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, the campaign arm of House Democrats, identified more than 40 Frontline Democrats it expected to have very competitive re-election campaigns. Many of these members represented;suburban districts;that have diversified their populations in recent years. In most of these districts, Democrats were running for re-election for the first time. The Frontline Democrats amassed large campaign funds.

Democrats also identified more than three dozen Republican-held districts they intended to target, including seven in Texas.

Democrats also made a play for the suburban Texas districts of retiring Republican Reps.;Pete Olson;of the 22nd District and Kenny Marchant of the 24th District. They lost the 22nd District, but the 24th is currently too close to call, with Republican Beth Van Duyne leading.

Gop Control Of State Governments Gives It The Edge In Contest To Redraw Congressional Maps To Its Advantage

House Minority Leader Rep. Kevin McCarthy, a Republican from California, hopes to become speaker of the House after the November 2022 elections.

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The Census Bureau released the preliminary findings of its 2020 U.S. population count on Monday, setting the stage for a once-in-a-decade congressional redistricting process that could in itself be enough to give the Republican Party the five additional House seats needed to recapture the majority following the 2022 midterm elections.

Under the new count, California, Illinois, Michigan, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia will each lose a congressional seat. Colorado, Florida, Montana, North Carolina, Oregon and Florida will gain one seat, while Texas will add two.

Read more: New York, California set to lose House seats; Florida and Texas to gain after Census Bureau reveals 2020 counts

New census data and reapportionment add challenges for the Democrats in the midterm elections, wrote Sarah Bianchi, political analyst at Evercore ISI, in a Tuesday note to clients, pointing out that states that President Joe Biden won in the 2020 election lost a net three congressional seats.

New York could be where Democrats decide to abandon a principled stand against gerrymandering and use their supermajorities to overrule the independent redistricting commission to create a map that nets Democrats four more seats.

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Nbc News Polls Predicts Republicans Will Win House Back In Massive Landslide

August 18, 2021, 7:40 am310 Views

According to a new poll, Republicans are on track to retake the House in a historic landslide in 2022.; And this isnt according to Fox News or another right-wing source, this is coming from NBC.

Based on all factors, youd have to consider Republicans the early favorites for the House majority in 2022, poll tracker David Wasserman told NBC.

Democrats best hope is that Bidens approval rating stays above 50 percent and that Republicans have a tougher time turning out their voters without Trump on the ballot.

Bigleaguepolitics.com reports: The NBC report cites the all-too-predictable trend of the presidents party losing House seats in midterm elections, Democrats choosing not to run for reelection in some cases, and Republicans reaping the benefits of increased online donations, which are now on par with those of Democrats.

As for the Senate, its anyones guess as to what will happen. The chamber is currently deadlocked at 50-50, and at least five GOP senators have announced that they will retire after next years midterms.

2022 will be an interesting and impactful year. Keep checking back with;Big League Politics;for midterm election coverage.

House Passes $35t Budget Framework After 10 Dem Moderates Cave To Pelosi

Trump has ‘no plans’ for third party but will help Republicans win back House and Senate in 2022

The House Democrat in charge of making;sure the party retains control of the chamber after next years midterm elections is warning that a course correction is needed or they could find themselves the minority again with current polling showing the Democrats would lose the majority if elections were held now.

Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney, the chair of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, told a closed-door lunch last week that if the midterms were held now, Republicans would win control of the House, Politico reported Tuesday.

Maloney advised the gathering that Democrats have to embrace and promote President Bidens agenda because it registers with swing voters.

We are not afraid of this data Were not trying to hide this, Tim Persico, executive director of the Maloney-chaired DCC,;told Politico;in an interview.

If use it, were going to hold the House. Thats what this data tells us, but we gotta get in action,;Persico said.

Maloney, in an interview with NPR, said issues like climate change, infrastructure, the expanded child tax credits, immigration policies and election reforms will;attract voters next fall.

Were making a bet on substance, Maloney said. Whats the old saying any jackass can kick down a barn, it takes a carpenter to build one. Its harder to build it than to kick it down. And so were the party thats going to build the future.

Maloneys dire warning failed to surprise some Democrats who have been sounding similar alarms.;

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